#but this shit ATE
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reborn-in-my-limbo · 2 months ago
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best. mark rap. EVER.
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fishfingersandscarves · 2 months ago
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pov your leg gives out randomly throughout the day
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buildoblivion · 4 months ago
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i’m sorry boss I can’t come into work tomorrow they’ve identified the remains of a doomed polar explorer
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juneleaf · 2 months ago
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mel after she pops up with a cooler design and cool ass powers and kills her mom. Only to discover her man absconded w his man into the ether
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on-the-clear-blue · 2 months ago
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Tim walking into the dining room: Oh B, i just realized, happy 5 years sober, I am really proud of you.
Bruce, small smile and sipping his tea: Thank you Tim.
Dick, looking up confused from his bowl of cereal: What? Sober? Weren't you drinking last night at the gala?
Bruce, brows furrowed: Not from alcohol, Chum.
Tim, after downing his cup of coffee: Damn you didn't know? It was cocain. B was on that booger sugar.
Bruce, making a face: Please, never call it that again.
Dick, after his brain rebooted: You...you did cocain?
Bruce sighing :Yes I did...I though you knew.
Dick, abandoning his bowl of cereal: No, no I very much didn't! How did you...like get into that?
Tim: Dick take it down a notch, please? Bruce has been clean for years.
Bruce, shaking his head: It's fine Tim, I should have been more up front with this to the others.
Dick, with his head tilted and still a bit upset: Others? You mean only Tim knew?
Bruce, nodding: He caught me taking a key from one of Penguins supply when he was Robin and forced me to confess, I went to rehab a week later.
Dick, sitting back down in a stupor: Wait...You mean the thing when you were gone for like a few months? I thought you were on a deep space mission with the league! Hell, Uncle Clark even said so!
Bruce, wincing: Y-Yes...I was in a treatment center in Sweden...Tim found them and signed me up without telling me, and had Clark take me there...
Bruce side eyeing Tim: Took my Kryptonite before doing so...and my stash.
Tim, unapologetic, shrugging: Mom used the same place when she was getting off of Quaaludes.
Bruce, shrunching his nose: Never did like downers, made it harder to think.
Dick, having a mental breakdown: So you just...did drugs? For like a while? When did this even start?
Bruce, silent for a while, moving his breakfast around for a moment: It started when I was about...16? When I was in the club scene for a bit I got wild, taking pills and such that I didn't need, it was the 80s, blow was all the rage with the youth in higher circles and...well one thing lead to another and I got hooked.
Dick, holding his head in his hands: Oh my God...Wait.. Were you actively doing drugs when you adopted me???
Bruce, groaning: Yes...Didn't it ever seem strange that sometimes I was very lively and then suddenly was practically dead an hour later before getting back to lively?
Dick, horror coming across his face: Oh my God the signs...
Tim, chuckling: B was a God damn drug fiend, practically snorted half of Columbia.
Bruce, looking scandalized: Tim! I was not that bad...
Tim staring at Bruce:
Bruce staring back:
Bruce, sighing: Fine yes it was that bad.
Dick: uninhorant screeching
Bruce, tsking: I quit a few years after taking you in Chum, I only relapsed when Jason...temporarily passed...and that was only for at most a year, Tim found me out, sent me to rehab and while I have had a few scares, I have been sober for years.
Dick: Happy for you, really but holy fuck.
Tim, snorting: It wasn't the first time I caught you B, imagine little old 10 year old me following Batman and Robin and stumbling across the Dark Knight of Gotham doing a line on a gargoyle while Robin beat the shit out of the dealers below.
Dick, agape: Really Bruce? Do you even remember that?
Bruce, Blushing: i...may have done that more than once...
Dick, crying on the inside: BRUCE?!
Jason, walking in with a smoothie: Oh what are we yelling at B for? I want in.
Dick, wildly pointing at Bruce: BATMAN DID COCAIN.
Jason, slowly taking a drag from his smoothie, before turning to Bruce: w h a t?
Bruce, hiding his face in his hands, sullenly: I trained you all better than this. Yes I did drugs, I am 5 years sober.
Jason, softly putting his smoothie down before walking over to Bruce and patting his shoulder: Proud of you for that, like actually good job, holy shit that is hard. But also WHAT THE FUCK.
Bruce, sighing hard: I thought you all knew...
Jason flopping down in a chair, counting on his fingers: Wait a God damn minute, you got on my case for smoking while doing cocain!
Bruce, dead panned: it's a gate way to much harder things.
Jason, squinting: Who are you D.A.R.E?
Tim, cackling: he was! Did a whole speech about it! Full Batman regalia and was talking about how weed is bad!
Bruce glaring lightly at Tim: It is! It can cause lung damage, a build up of black tar in the lungs and can dull your mind when you are in a tike of crisis!
Jason, rolling his eyes: B, Shut the fuck up you did cocain.
Bruce, sighing yet again: You really are not letting that go are you...
Tim, sipping his coffee: Think of it like this, there is a reason B was able to get back to fighting like a week after Bane broke his back.
Bruce, pursing his lips,: Not the time Tim.
Tim, grinning evilly: Oh no, it is very much the time, I have been waiting till the others knew...I have so many blackmail stories....and pictures
Bruce, a look of true fear on his face: Oh God no...
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aquareegia · 3 months ago
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this will be living in my head rent free from now on
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whimsicallywiddershins · 6 months ago
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Can you imagine those fucking trillionaires waking up from cryo in their fancy ships, finding out it's been 10,000 years, all happy and smug cause everything must be fixed now, that annoying cult leader is long dead, they can go back to earth and re-build society in their image while living in luxury ect ect
Only to find the galaxy in disaster mode, billions of refugees on displaced planets because their planets died, giant creepy beasts eating entire worlds, crazy death wizard people ruling most of the galaxy. All lead by the Supreme Emperor Necrolord Prime God whatever. Who is that annoying cult leader. Who HATES YOU.
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gallusrostromegalus · 2 months ago
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Got the brace off my ankle from the moose incident in October, had two weeks of normal mobility...
And sprained the fuck out of the other one .
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ghouljams · 2 months ago
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Actually the worst part about having sex with Ghost is that once you get used to his fingers you can't come without them, and every time you text him he just goes, "need it again already, huh?"
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thou-babbling-brook · 5 months ago
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RIP Maria Thorpe you would’ve loved Chappell Roan
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inkz123 · 4 months ago
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Day 16: Forbidden (frosting)
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saytrrose · 7 months ago
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Pray for him chat 🙏 I don’t think he can do it
Commission for @bitbot360 !
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qualityrain · 2 months ago
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give up on yourself, and you give up on the world
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wellfine · 2 years ago
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I mowed him sorry (← guy who thinks buzzed heads are handsome)
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ooliecat · 26 days ago
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i have a lot of art i owe but i havent posted (art) in a bit
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