#but this is like. real stuff. yk.
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actual otter sign of life !!!
#hockey#stars#dallas stars#jake oettinger#don't get me wrong. loved knowing jake filled a guy with shame just because he was awkwardly angling for him to share the cookies#but this is like. real stuff. yk.
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tdb doodle reqs batch 3 - mc x the boys
heyy guys so i finished these three. oh and for my dear @jabbloo i somehow convinced myself to do all of them so you're in luck 😭
well! lets get on with it now shall we
firstly, for our birthday celebrant!! here's haku!
i kid you not i got flustered doinf this i just stared for a good 10 minutes help m
next up! one of my favorites :3
i canteven say anythinf to describe this one other than thank you for the idea <3 my beloved smug mc
now here we have!! our silly little flustered reaper
i was originally gonna put dialogue but my rizz is so bad my friends and i spent like 30 minutes brainrotting to come up with nothing HEADSJSDJFHD
ok next up. leo our beloved oomf
i am a sucker for a person with good music taste and i think leo's def gonna have like 1293812389 playlists (or the psychopath thing where he puts everythinf into one 😔😔😔)
and last but not least,
mc chu!
i do have one more req for today and i'll post it right after this hsfdhf
as for the others, i'll work on em when i have the time aaaa ive been really busy for the past few days (>人<;)
i hope you enjoyed!
#this took a while to come out PLS#yk its getting real when even the artist gets flustered over it BYE#tokyo debunker#tdb#rura's works#東京ディバンカー#tokyo debunker fanart#rura's requests#caerurambles#alan mido#jin kamurai#leo kurosagi#rui mizuki#haku kusanagi#all this mc stuff has me turning into an mc simp i swear#she looks like my middle school crush im GONE.#new ocxcanon but its with the mc </3
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION
#gummyart💜#meme#doodle#asexual#ace spec#like y'all we can joke about kinks and horniness#but in my head it isn't real yk#although the blushing and flusteredness is definitely 100% real#idk#just cause i wanna fuck the sexyman doesnt mean i want to#yk#anyway#the end#goodbye#gummy says stuff
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SEL MY SEL …….. crawling over here for the ask game …………… you already know . who i’m going to ask for phdkdjdkdb IN MY DEFENSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER YOUR VERSION OF HIM !!!!!!!
….. sugu ….. with ’sun’ ……. maybe 👉👈
(🍵 <- a little matcha for your troubles … good luck with the writing exercises my loveee <33 i’m cheering you on!!!)
ARI 🥹🥹🥹🥹 hehe ofc i shall write sugu for u! writing him is always so fun 🥹 thank you for the prompt, and for the matcha!! i will be sipping it as i write this 🥹 it is not a trouble at alllll!! esp if it's for youuuuu 🫶
contains: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy neighbor suguru, mood can be a bit unsettling... honestly a little stockholm syndrome-y (does this count as dark? idk 😭), skewed concept of reality and time
suguru + sun
you move into a new neighborhood on your 24th birthday.
it's a quaint house, fully furnished with wooden panels lining its contemporary build. you consider yourself lucky for finding a place this well-kept at the price point you offered. you're honestly surprised that suguru, your now landlord, accepted your application.
the area sits a few kilometers on the outskirts of the city, but it feels neither too quiet nor too busy; a perfect balance with an impressive view of the rising sun this early in the morning. that, and the people seem friendly, greeting you as they pass by. they even offer to help you haul things out of your car and into the house.
to the right of your house is one that holds the same design elements at yours, although a bit darker in its tones. it's sleek and modern, befitting of a bachelor.
"you must be the new tenant," a voice speaks from behind you, syrupy and smooth. you didn't even hear his footsteps.
when you turn around, you're met with a tall man who greets you with his arms held behind his back as he tilts his head low. there's a calmness that radiates off him, a sort of gentleness that signals he’s someone you can trust.
you nod, introducing yourself with your hand outstretched towards him.
"suguru," he replies as his fingers grab yours delicately. your eyes widen in surprise, recognizing the name, and he merely chuckles in return, a soft laugh that brings out kindness in his eyes.
"i should greet you properly," he lets go of your hand, placing it back behind him. "hello, new neighbor."
.
over shared breakfasts by your porch and impromptu dinners over at his, you grow a liking to suguru. he's polite and thoughtful, often knocking at your door in the mornings to offer you a cup of tea to watch the sunrise.
"you'll only find sunrises like this here," he leans back on the wooden chair you set out as outdoor furniture. his head tilts towards you slightly, impossibly close as you notice the corner of his lips curl up into a small grin.
hues of pinks, purples, and orange blend to illuminate his face perfectly. the sun is beautiful in front you, peeking between clouds as it inches away from the horizon, but something about him is infinitely more magnetic. your stare is immediately drawn to his lips, smooth and supple, before it meets his gaze.
you don't know what's worse―wanting to lean in or be pulled by the look in his eyes.
he fixes things that break in your home, always somehow knowing just when to show up. at first, it was your windows, the one by the attic, too high and dangerous for you to climb; then, it was your kitchen sink, its pipes regurgitating the water going down the drain. he's begun to bring you your groceries too, often asking for a list of what you need when he makes trips out of town.
your days blur easily when you're with suguru, and time passes almost fleetingly as you find your hours filled with soft laughs and touches so delicate you sometimes wonder whether they're real.
it should be noted, you think, how much time has passed since you first met him―an anniversary of some sort.
.
you learn that he owns both houses―his and the one you're currently renting. it once belonged to a friend who had to move for bigger, greater responsibilities elsewhere, he'd said.
"why did you decide on renting?" you ask him one night, over wine and candlelight.
your fingers fiddle with his as he sits you on his lap, this thing between you growing more intimate lately. he rubs his thumb along your thigh, resting his chin by your shoulder.
"you could have sold it or something."
he presses his lips gently on your collarbone.
"i could've," his fingers trail up to your waist, crossing your chest before landing on your chin, cupping it lightly to face him. your heart is hammering in your chest, senses on fire as his nose kisses yours. you think you can count every mole that dots his face beautiful. then, he inches closer, lips grazing yours as he whispers, "but i was waiting for you."
.
you mark each day at sunrise.
your digital clocks and calendars stopped working after some time, but you don't mind. suguru always tells you what date it is when you ask.
this morning, you wake up in his bed, and the sun is still as breathtaking as you remember it, the same pink, purple, and orange hues streaming through his window. when you look closely, the clouds―
"good morning," he brings you tea in bed, his hair topped off with a bun, a half-up-half-down.
your stomach fills itself with something warm and fuzzy as you smile at him, "morning."
"slept well?" his hand reaches for your waist under the duvet, and you giggle, ticklish.
"very," you crane your neck to land a soft kiss on his lips. "what date is it today?"
"october 28," he supplies.
your eyebrows shoot up as you realize, "i have to bring my car to the mechanic."
it's been 6 months now since your last check, right before you moved, and though you barely use your car anyway, it's best to be safe.
you quickly move to get up but suguru's hand keeps you in place, firmly pressed on your waist.
"i'll do it," he says with a smile on his face, "you rest here."
.
you barely see your other neighbors except for the girl who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and the twins down the street.
when you ask suguru about it, he dismisses the question quickly, saying, "must have moved," as he urges you to take another sip of your tea.
you dream of them that night, on bare streets; it wakes you in a cold sweat, the image of your neighborhood reduced to just your house and suguru's.
.
this is the 200th sunrise since you started counting, which means this is the 200th day since you and suguru officially got together. kind of.
your gift for him is a painting of the sunrise, because it reminds you of him; and because it's become your favorite thing to look forward to, too.
the pinks and purples blend together beautifully as it contrasts with the orange hues, and the sun continues to peak above the horizon as it settles between clouds.
suguru kisses you when you give it to him, the taste of tea right on his tongue.
he frames it on his bedside, and when you wake in his room the next morning, it greets you along with the back of his head, fast asleep.
your eyes flit to the view outside his window, the same pinks, purples, and orange hues. you tilt your head curiously, brows furrowing. the sun stays at the same spot above the horizon, and when you look at the painting again, the clouds hold the same position and shape.
a chill washes over you, your hearbeat pounding.
.
"what date is it today?" you ask suguru as you wash the potatoes in the sink.
another bag of groceries from suguru. now that you think about it, you don't think you've ever gone to the grocery store since moving.
"is it important?" he responds, slightly snappy. you've begun to notice that he hates it when you ask lately.
you eye him from the side.
"i was thinking of preparing a menu of what we'll eat during the holidays, if it's near."
the furrow on his brows smooths out as you give your answer, and so he says, "december 5."
and you know something is wrong, because that can't be it. it doesn't make sense with the sunrises you've counted.
.
you dream again, more and more as the days go by―dirt roads and your house and suguru's, run-down and empty. more things start breaking in your apartment, and suguru always knows when they need to be fixed.
there's a deep, twisting feeling in your stomach that intensifies, festering under your skin; it worsens in the mornings, when you sit with suguru at your porch and you think you see a crack in the sunrise.
.
sunrise valley the place where the sun never sets! ─── beautiful, bright, and destined for people who live just like you! find your new home here.
[DISCONTINUED] — FOR DEMOLITION ON DECEMBER 7. under investigation for suspicious spiritual activity and missing persons.
#suguru x reader#jjk x reader#shotorus.workbook#waaah i hope u like this ari!! its a little bit (really) different from the genre i typically write#but i was talking to niku abt it and she urged me to push for this kinda strange kinda spooky one#its not fwb sugu like how i normally write him but i hope it's still /him/ yk ? sAWB#some stuff about the blurb: he's not human ! he's a spirit ! not necessarily evil but i think definitely a little bit possessive#he lures people in and builds that 'neighbourhood' around them; kind of like a simulation ? the tea he serves is meant to keep#the people hallucinating !#and also in real life before all of this went down reader was looking for a home and saw the listing#reader sent an application without visiting bc desperate ! (idt u should ever do that irl tho haha) but yeah#so when reader drove up the first time to the location it was actually just a dirt road#but theres some magic juju at a border that makes reader pass out ! and he feeds them the tea and thats how reader thinks that#they drove all the way to the house and everything . basically believes in whatever suguru makes them see#there are lots of details i included that kind of mean smth more later on but i wont list them here anymore ! i hope u catch them eheh#the lore of the neighborhood is that satoru and suguru were gonna build it together but they had a falling out (haha)#bc of difference in opinion hahah and so the plan never really went thru and suguru got hella stressed by it and so on and on and on#which is why his spirit is here !#i had to cut it short ! bc it would have been hella long 😭 but i would have added more stuff in between if ever#if u have any questions abt this lmk ! whbshfbash i hope u like it wahhh its really different from what im used to writing!#ari.🦔#ask#rep#twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat
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i have a billion ideas on the barney clones that i could never write down So. Images
#the 1st image is moreso trying to simplify the Actual Real Photorealstic Blue Shift Barney#but yk#to me barney clones are all almost the same guy#but they all have small differences#and theyre all called barney too#j the last names are different like in the locker room#its funny to me & thats my basis of hcs#hl1#half life#half-life#barney calhoun#my stuff#half life blue shift#ALSO IDK HOW THE HELMETS WORK#i always made it j a box and a circle#bc im lazy but it like shows their ears#ooeuughh
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
#genuinely begging for discussion on this bc im too tired to think about it anymore but i think it's cool#yyh#yu yu hakusho#also apologies if any of the atsuko stuff's iffy im anime-only </3 i skimmed the wiki but. it's the wiki so grain of salt#atsuko urameshi#shizuru kuwabara#shiori minamino#keiko yukimura#genkai#yyh meta#<- i never tag stuff w that but i probably should..#this is making me a little emo about all of them but on the side more quietly kurama bc like. bro he loves his mom so much and he can't tel#her ANYTHING. houghhh she will never ever know him she will live and die within his lifetime and not know any of the big beautiful terrible#life of his that she's missed. god that fucking sucks dude wait#anyway something that's only grown in importance to me is how prickly the relationships in yyh can be. like damn they do love each other#and it's even mostly a good thing. but sometimes that means you're shitty to each other. sometimes you're not great at it yk#and the characters therein are complicated and flawed without feeling like it's a huge focus. like plenty of media go here's these fucked u#guys look at how they scuttle and that's cool fr but with yyh it feels so subtle and gentle and real. it's so personal and human and i love#it. even when it means hiei doesn't reunite with the gang at the end or when genkai never tells yusuke what he means to her#y'know? that stuff used to hurt me and now it hurts me in a good touching 'god i love people' kinda way. yeah
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idea. since askdusttale answered an ask about where dust got his determination from (because dust has SOME determination just so he can remember the timelines and keep going against the human) and said it was totally up to personal interpretation on how he got his determination. so so so like what if what if dusttale's player did something similar to something new's player and changed dust's code to give him determination??? so dust and killer COULD BOTH had their codes tampered with??? the parallels would be INSANE. they both started off as sans and got their codes tampered with by the player but dust and killer went on two opposite paths. dust out of his own voalition decided to go against the human but killer had to team up with the human no choice at all. the opposite parallels go CRAZY oh god im tweaking
killer doesn't know exactly (since i forgot whether or not he can see codes or something like that. i swear there was an image of him describing fell and swap's code and then his own) but he can SENSE that something's off. something's different about dust that he doesn't quite know about. maybe it gets him to ask a bunch of questions that dust is definitely not open to answering because jesus man mind your own damn business but the question that really sets killer off is the way dust answers when he asks "so if you have determination then how did you get it?" and dust just shrugs his shoulders and said that one day he suddenly remembered the resets and then that's when he got it (and then goes back to mumbling to phantom paps or wtvr) and killer's just like. zomg. a sudden change in behavior or mentality that seemingly has no apparent reason related to the human???? like like like when he suddenly had to agree with the player despite literally never wanting to????? killer is over thinking the implications behind this
meanwhile dust is just annoyed now because killer keeps on following him. he keeps asking him strange questions. wtf why is the guy asking to see his SOUL that's incredibly personal???? he just wants to be left alone man he has no idea what's going on
#this is what happens when i go on my weekly ask dusttale scroll through i come up with ideas like this#one day killer asks dust if he knows about the players and creators#dust says no. and the moment killer starts explaining it to him he backs off#because dust is actually fucking going crazy at what he just barely said#there are people above us that control our stories??? our LIVES???#so he wasn't fighting against some random human but a literal god who wanted to play with him out of curiosity???#dust is never going to forget that conversation. killer knows even that one sentence changed him#dust is really paranoid now when he sees a human. immediately kills them compared to before#yk what let's make this nightmare's gang related! nm notices dust's paranoia toward humans#mans is getting upset because he's killing precious negativity. so he asks killer#killer wtf happened to dust i told you to watch over him and horror (sadly i cant drag him into this hc)#and killer's like i might've told him about creators and players and now he's probably having a crisis over his free will and stuff#yeahhhh that dust gets replaced asap. it's better to leave aus unaware of creators in the DUST (haha)#and then promptly replaces him. killer keeps on eyeing the new dust like#is it a dusttale thing? is it all dusts? or was that the only one? maybe this one KNOWS?#but in the end he leaves him alone bc nm told him too. he's still overthinking those implications though#GOD THIS IS SUCH A COOL FUCKING IDEA#askdusttale i love having freedom to come up with ideas like this BLESS 🙏🙏🙏#listen if there were a real canon reason dust gets determination then i wouldn't have this idea#but dusttale's canon is so loose and just structural its GREAT!!!! i love it#and the fact that the dusttale fics dont even change much to the lore??? just explains dusts personality better#HOW MANY MORE PARALLELS CAN THE MTT HAVE BEFORE THEY EXPLODE I SWEAR#killer sans#dust sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#utmv#sans au#tricule rant
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soul can do the same tricks with his trident that you can do with a flag
i'm not sure if australians have color/winter guard at their schools or an equivalent to that, and if they do, whole learned some stuff there, and if they don't, soul wanted to do something cool and binged youtube videos
his favorite tricks are those that involve a lot of wrist flicking and look super trippy from an outside perspective (aka the ones i can't do) and he likes tossing really fucking high (think triples for fun)
and for convenience his trident is weighted similarly to a flag bc logic doesn't exist in headspace (sorry mindie)
- sincerely, a guard kid who needs to project and make it her whole (haha) personality
Headcanon #571
#chonny jash#submission#cj soul#chonnys charming chaos compendium#ooooooo yes yes#also considering he can kickflip the trident. imaging someone kickfliping a whole ass flag mid show is VERY funny to me#also feel like he'd do the mini spins as a fidget/way to think#technically imaging him using a rifle for it since its not as tall/long but yk what i mean#(i will say i was a band kid so not a guard kid but guard counts as band so i know a fair amount just not specifics)#okay now you've gotten me wanting to draw him either doing some of the tricks or in some neat guard outfit#if i ever have the time at least#anyway you are so correct i love this#also you're so real for projecting stuff like this unto them. its so fun
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black background....release ur hold on me (wip)
#the way it makes the colours really pop always gets me#i like the idea of a drawing i made about how i was out of control of my own body being redone now in a more accepting manner#like this is what we got its real different and no one likes it but its me yk#also abt some triggerin stuff but im not gonna talk abt that lol#omatoxin#mo talks
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Every day I try not to be a hater to people in fandom who completely fall for a characters facade or false perception of themselves. Like girl the narrative device tricked you.
#homestuck#jake english#people for dome reason just. dont engage with their characters beyond surface level#the apha kids in general#june Egbert#john Egbert#people eho think june is well adjusted and normal LMFAO girl be so real#rose lalonde#jade too tbh#for the alpha trolls thats find most of them are obvious as shit with their personality and stuff#but the kids and the beta trolls? youre KIDDING ME#well not all of the beta trollsbut yk#it boggles my mind when people reduce a character to ttheir modt shallow interpretation#i.e himbo jake. cool smart put together rose. roxy being a perfect angel who can do no wrong. june bring well adjusted snd silly#etc etc#like you say you likr these characters but do you really?#anyone who calls jake a himbo im putting in yhe literal dirt. in the ground#SOCIALLY STUNTED AND PRETENDING TO BE INCAPABLE ≠ STUPID#auuughhh#looking at fandom posts like augh they misinterpreted my boy
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Nothing funnier to me than a fansite that horrifically white washes pics of the guys until they genuinely look like walking corpses but then will have DO NOT EDIT in all their captions like baby.... if there's anyone here who should have the editing software taken away, it's you...
#see this is where i might potentially have a controversial opinion#bc while i 100% always link back to twt videos or pics from concerts and stuff#bc i think its the polite and fair thing to do#i also find the DO NOT EDIT DO NOT REPOST stuff slightly silly#just bc ypure taking pictures of famous people and posting them on the internet like.... people are going to#i think putting credit is 100% the right thing to do but also if i ever went to a show and took a pic that wasnt a total blur#id p much expect others to save it and do stuff with it bc thats just how the internet works#also somehow pics taken at the airport and other invasive places with those captions especially make me laugh like you can go mob them#and take those pics but also expect everyone else to respect your copyright or something?#like at least with concert stuff its expected to take videos so i really do believe you shpuld link back#bc its like wow thank you for taking that video and sharing that funny moment with the rest of us#but some of it im like Nah be for real#like yeah always link back to op when applicable but its not always applicable yk#and white washers dont deserve anything at all
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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Your art is food.
let him cook now I SAID LET HIM COOK!!!
#on a more serious note#thank you#people being nice and interacting with me and making comments like this because i do silly art really keeps me going /gen#wolfart asks#sometimes i can't believe that there are poeple who like my art yk#like sure there will always be one or two people who will go hey this is cool#but like#so many of you#on stuff that i don't think is that good#it's surreal sometimes#idk why i turned so sentimental#also sometimes i think about how like#these 800+ people who follow me are like. real people#and not just numbers#that also feel surreal#like wdym. theres that many people here. thats too many#i'm rambling#sorry#anyways thank you for looking at my silly doodles and saying nice things. that's really cool#self sona
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girl's honest desire to give moretti funeral business
#idk. Idea that haunts me since winter & still not sure bc more realistically it'd be casino/brothel/bar etc#but its boring and yk; clemente's bout destroying/falcone's bout giving pleasure/vinci's bout oppressing & standing above#and if to give moretti funeral business it's obv bout burying. vinci & his port is like a connection to sicily#and funeral stuff is still bout respecting traditions & bounding w dead and long forgotten#respect should unite them both as characters <- in my eyes#and i also like to think bout death but yk this already. and i know that i associate moretti w death bc#a) he's literally fkin dead b) the end (death) of traditions c) look at his card. he looks like a corpse or tf. pale skin & bw costume#and don't mind me. all thing i wrote above bout dons's businesses isn't a real analysis#i just needed to finally say this. may write more bout this later but idk#off topic: i hate mafia 2 now i cant look at starry sky without thinkin bout this godawful game#m2#note: charon. ok gn
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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