#but this is from the pov of someone recovering from getting the shit kicked out of her by zenos so she ain't writing all that right now lol

[elliewiltarwyn]

FFXIV Write 2024 | #18: Hackneyed

Word Count: 270

Sixth Umbral Moon, 30th Sun, 04 7AE

We did it. The universe is safe. And we’re home.

There are too many things to untangle but right now my thoughts are only of Mia. When she visited me in my sickbed, there were literal minutes of silence where we just stared at each other, grateful that we were alive and safe. That we both made it home.

We were sitting with that feeling, of being home and together, when she just said it out of the blue. It was sudden, like she hadn’t planned on it, like her mouth had a mind of its own - but nor did she take it back. She said it, looked stunned, and then we both just sort of grinned stupidly at each other for another silent minute.

“Marry me, El. Please.”

It is, perhaps, somewhat cheesy, a little hackneyed—you might even say overly cliché—to say that I heard fireworks, celebratory bells, and joyous choirs bursting into song in that moment. I like to think there isn’t a soul that would blame me, though. And I, of course, said yes. (And teased both of us a little by expressing shock that she was the one to ask. I genuinely didn’t expect that.)

There’s so much else to sort out—there’s so much I need to put in this journal about everything that happened in Ultima Thule—but right here in this moment, I am basking in her love, and she in mine, secure in the knowledge that we’ll be here with each other - forever. And if that’s clichéd, then I’m basking in that too.

[acourtofthought]

ELUCIEN ISLAND FOR ONE 😂

I'm just out here alone on my little ACOTAR 5 Elucien island.

It's a lonely place to be at times but I do typically enjoy solitude 😂

Have you ever seen those marble run toys? That's what SJMs writing in ACOTAR feels like to me.

It's a giant, tall structure with twists and turns and you can place one marble on the track, then another marble, then another until you have a whole bunch of marbles on the course at the same time but the marble you put on there first is still going to be the one who reaches the bottom first.

To me, Elucien's journey / marble started in ACOMAF (Lucien's journey even before that) when SJM decided they'd be mates but immediately separated them and she continued their future story in a big way in ACOWAR (while simultaneously building Nessian's). Elain was dealing with depression and the loss of her humanity, Graysens rejection, she had visions about Vassa and Koschei, underdeveloped powers, refused the Illyrian leathers, she wasn't ready to deal with her bond though the series ended on positive note towards her mate, we were left with questions as to how Elain made it to Nessian in time, and she saw her father lying dead on the ground yet we've never had the chance to see how she's coping with her loss.

SJM wrote a bunch of things that Lucien needs to recover from too, his SA, losing his home in Spring, realizing his mate wasn't ready to interact with him, the realization that Jesminda wasn't his mate after all and characters not trusting him or underestimating him. She also gave him a surprise "Helion is your Daddy" reveal meaning he is unknowingly set up to be the sole heir of Day and she set him on the path to discovering what may be his found family.

I'm not saying SJM didn't give us some information on Az but there was no clear direction she was taking him in at that time, I don't think I could really tell you what the plot of an Azriel novel looked like back then aside from the fact that he hated the Illyrians and had anger issues towards a lot of people.

During this time SJM also said she knew who the first two spin-offs would be about, that she had done research for Elain's book but was leaving the third open. She even said the third might be a novel set prior to the events of ACOTAR.

In ACOFAS, I'd say we got hints of the first real "Az could get his own POV" crumbs / marble where Rhys mentions the Illyrians might need someone permanently stationed there (but not yet, only once things elsewhere in Prythian are settled down), where Az's demeanor sometimes scared the shit out of Rhys, the mentions of Az's mother and how Az seems to suddenly notice another female outside of Mor for the first time in centuries.

But the Elucien crumbs / marbles were still rolling. We got confirmation that Lucien is now living in the human lands with people he considers his friends, we have him remind Feyre that they're going to need Tamlin as an ally before all is said and done and that Rhys shouldn't have kicked him down when he was out, we're reminded that Lucien isn't able to return to Spring because of Feyre's schemes and that Tamlin assaulted him, Feyre thinking to herself that she still hasn't mentioned who Lucien's father is to anyone besides Rhys and that Rhys and Helion were unable to break Vassa's curse. We're told that Elain still mourns her human life, gave back TT and did not look back, didn't want a male or a mate and a few mentions of how quietly she seems to be moving all of a sudden, mentions of her being up early and having trouble sleeping as well as her questioning Amren about being able to change forms.

Then in SF, the Az crumbs really started rolling a bit more. SJM built a bit of mystery on how Az is different in a lot of ways, how he likes his space though he built a bit of a friendship with Nesta, we're given insight into how he tortures, that he's kind of spiraling in his tantrums towards Rhys and Feyre, how he's curious about Rhys's model of the universe, how he's fixated on wanting a mate and jealous of his brothers while being ready to burn bridges with someone who is an ally because of that jealousy and the introduction of a possible mate.

But the Elucien information is there as well, that marble has still been rolling down the track. Lucien is now living with Jurian and Vassa, we get a pretty major scene of him commanding Cassian with a single word (something only High Lords can do), we're reminded that while Lucien continues to visit Tamlin, he's not getting any better and Spring has falling into a state that leaves the rest of Prythian at risk, we're told Lucien's father has been working with Briallyn and would probably be willing to turn to Koschei, we have Lucien setting his sights across the sea as if setting his target, we're reminded that Vassa's freedom is almost up, we have Lucien being permanently stationed in Spring and the first hints that he's losing a bit of patience in regards to the the situation with Elain though he still looks at her with longing, and the mentions that there's something going on in Day that's causing stress to Helion.

SJM confirmed Elain crumbs were sprinkled throughout in a Live Talks with Eva Chen. She's again noted as moving with stealth and being up early, her Seer powers are dormant, she surprised both Feyre and Nesta with how she's started to stand up for herself, NC Black sucks the life out of her, Feyre mentions helping one sister before the other, Rhys confirms that though Elain makes beautiful things, gardening still involves getting ones hands dirty along the way, Amren says not to underestimate Elain, Feyre notes how if Elain had been wearing Lucien's gloves nothing would have pierced her, Nesta first places Elain's rose carving next to a figure of a goddess but doesn't let herself think of why, she then places the rose on her fathers headstone as a marker of the beauty and good he tried to bring into the world, the rejection from Az on Solstice which probably made her decide she's done with men 😂. Nesta notes her sisters delicate scent is like a promise of Spring and thinks how Spring had been made for someone like Elain, she wonders if Elain would be willing to the continent and not just the one at the Western edge but the one further south. But even with all of that there are a lot of mentions of "Where's Elain?".

The thing about those marble runs is they have a fancy little piece that flips back and forth. When the first marble passes through, the piece blocks off the original path so that the second marble is forced to go down a new path.

To me, Elucien is now set on one course while Gwynriel, after making it to that fork, is on another and I think the crossover is a way for SJM to further build on Az's story because his marble has been a bit behind Elucien's. He has needed more background to build on where she's going with his book whereas she's already pointed us in the direction of Elucien. I know people think Elucien are underdeveloped but she honestly doesn't need to give us anything more. We know there's the unknown father storyline, the freeing of Vassa and the other girls trapped at the lake storyline, the acceptance of their mating bond, the restoring of Spring and figuring out whether Lucien and Tamlin will make ammends, whether Lucien and Eris will make ammends, whether Lucien will reconnect with the LoA, Elain healing from the loss of her father and being made, further exploring her powers and proving to everyone she can handle the dangerous stuff, Elain finding her found family. I think there's even a chance she'll help figure out why the Pegasus's food source is gone. Seriously, what more do we need for an Elucien book? 😂 I don't think we had even half of that for Nessians.

Elain's absence in the crossover (thus far) doesn't mean all that much to me in terms of what story is being told next. I don't think Elain and Lucien will be tied into the crossover plot because I don't think that's the path they're on. Just like certain characters who once did everything together in the TOG series (i.e. Dorian / Chaol), had their stories take them away from one another until the end. Dorian had nothing to do with Yrene and Chaols journey and Chaol never had anything to do with Maeve as Dorian did.

People keep saying Elain isn't connected to the current plot but she is because Koschei, Vassa, Spring ARE current plots. They haven't gone anywhere, they're happening and needing resolution simultaneously to what's going on with Bryce in the NC. There are things happening all over in Prythian, just as there were things happening all over in the TOG series, not just what Aelin was dealing with at the moment.

Maybe all the characters will come back together if the Asteri are a major threat to Prythian at any point but right now, Elain and Lucien don't need to be involved in anything Bryce related. Just like Gwynriel isn't really connected to the Vassa / Koschei / Spring storylines, Elucien don't need to be majorly connected to Gwynriel's storylines especially because it doesn't sound like Elain is truly a part of the IC. And I do think regardless of how big a threat Koschei is, anything related to enemies entering their world would be an even bigger threat and that kind of storyline makes sense coming from the pov of an Illyrian warrior and a Valkyrie.

Not to mention a final battle can still involve all the main characters including Lucien if he were High King. Feyre's pov still had Rhys running the show during the war.

Even though SJM has Az's marble rolling full force with SF and the crossover, I still don't think that means Elucien is on the backburner. I just think it means she's already laid out all their necessary crumbs, set them on their path and now they're just racing towards the finish.

However, I will still celebrate with my Gwynriel friends on the Gwynriel island if I turn out to be completely wrong 😂

[katewibberlystan]

outsider pov on the wibberly family must be hilarious and i'm gonna have to write about it someday. it's a dark comedy gold mine. their poor neighbors are normal humans and so confused. there's the seemingly normal but not really normal parents, the jacked uncle with a sword, the exhausted eldest sister and her grumpy goth bf, the pure embodiments of chaos that are michael and emma, and michael's fashion obsessed, out of his league girlfriend who doesn't understand pop culture.

like, richard and clare seem pretty nice and normal at first glance but then they'll just say something weird about elves and the neighbors are like ??? and then michael can be perfectly polite and a bit pretentious and his girlfriend is super bubbly and sweet and everyone likes them a lot but then they'll start talking about "when she was a dragon" and michael's nickname is bunny/sir rabbit for some reason. also wilamena's never heard of youtube before and michael once drank poison (???) and the neighbors are so confused at this point. gabriel comes over and he's super cool and he's got all these hunting skills, which. alright. that's normal, the neighbors think. but then he whips out his sword and starts doing tricks and discussing some dude named rourke and how he killed him. all the poor normies are like what??? did gabriel kill a man??? wtf??? kate mostly keeps to herself but when she does interact with the neighbors she's always coming across as calm and practical, the one controlling the chaos around her, and that's great. but she's just as off as the rest of her family, she knows way too much about history and time for someone so young, she's got this tired look about her like she's somewhere else and she's seen too much, and if she's truly angry there's something unnerving there, something that says that this responsible and kind young woman can and would stab a man through the heart. okay. meanwhile her boyfriend is a recovering kleptomaniac who follows her around and looks at her like she's the goddamn sun and who's grumpy with and willing to threaten almost anyone else. and there was one time the dude who lives across the street could have sworn his hand was on fire at one point but then later that same day he seemed fine. like, what was that about? also sometimes two weird old men who make jokes about shops and an equally old woman who's done with their shit will come to visit from nyc and talk about crime (???) and they treat this teenage couple like their parents.

emma meanwhile does all sorts of weird things and ironically she's the one all the neighbors are most normalized to because she's just so crazy they've come to expect it from her. sure she's really into swords and she claims she's spoken to dead people, but that isn't too weird coming from the same girl who chased her brother with a spider for kicks and once roamed the neighborhood on a riding lawn mower while wielding a machete. it's a running gag that no one bats an eye at her anymore because she gets into so many shenanigans everyone just accepts she's Like That

i just need it so bad. the world needs it so bad.

[laelior]

So. Beth and the aftermath of akuze. Do you have any thoughts about her recovery process? What weighs hardest on her? And Marian Lou, I'll take any info about them, too. I love the thought of two almost making it. I'm sad they didn't both make it off akuze and then the inevitable happens later, during recovery. (or, you know, doesn't happen at all. Why can't they both make it. Why. Tell me. Don't be cruel.)

First of all, thank you so much for the ask!

My answer is a bit long, so it's under a cut.

There were two parts to her recovery: physical and mental/emotional, as is true for pretty much every Sole Survivor Shep.

The physical recovery was the more straightforward of the two. She almost lost a leg from damage to her femoral artery (one of her own squad members panicked and accidentally shot her) and had to have skin grafts over 20% of her body (thresher maw acid). These took time to heal, and she was not particularly compliant with the care team that treated her because she was in a truly shitty mental state. It took her a good two months to get back on her feet, and another month on top of that to get cleared for light duty again.

Arguably, she never emotionally recovered from it. She had other traumatic losses in her life (see: Mindoir), but she was able to externalize that to a large degree by joining the Alliance. The Alliance, for their part, was happy to help her hone her trauma into a weapon that she wielded mercilessly against batarians, slavers, and pirates she came across.

She joined the Alliance as something of a brat, 100% convinced that she was hot shit after killing four of the batarian raiders when she was barely 16. Between her attitude and her being a biotic, she didn't make many friends. Except for Marian Luo and Eva Radnakova. The three of them remained close after basic, but Marian was really the glue that kept their social circle together. She and Beth had an off-and-on friends with benefits arrangement that developed into genuine feelings over time, but neither of them was mature enough to really deal with it. It was complex and a bit thorny, especially when Beth became her commanding officer, and sometimes strained their friendship with Eva, who felt like something of a third wheel.

The ending of the Akuze ficlet was intentionally vague with respect to how Marian died. The only people who know what actually happened are Beth herself and Anderson, who coaxed it out of her when he was interviewing her for N-school. She was convinced he was going to kick her out of the Alliance. She wanted him to kick her out of the Alliance. There were no convenient targets to externalize her grief and anger on in this case, and she couldn't cope with what happened.

Since this is the story of Commander Shepard, then-Lieutenant Shepard was not only not kicked out, she was recommended for N-school. Accepting the invitation took some convincing on Anderson's part.

So while she was able to get her shit together and go on to become the first human Spectre, the Hero of the Citadel, etc., she never really emotionally recovered. The whole Akuze incident cemented the idea in her mind that she couldn't have nice things because they would only get taken away. She lost her family. She lost her squad including someone she cared deeply about. The only constants in her life were her grandparents, and she had a hard time even letting them in. Her POV chapters in Periapsis are centered around her inability to let her walls down and let Kaidan in. She doesn't admit, even to herself, that she loves him until she has him at gunpoint during the Citadel coup, and she very nearly has to kill him. She doesn't say it out loud to him until much later.

If we're talking hypotheticals here, if Marian had somehow survived, Akuze would have still been traumatic, but it wouldn't have affected her nearly as deeply. And who knows? The two of them might have gotten their shit together and lived happily ever after.

[kunosoura]

my ranking of the crown of stars PoVs (I'm into the last quarter of book 4):

top tier:

Hanna. Best most loyal friend ever. In a series full of bitches with hangups about their births, their families, and their legacies, she's the commoner daughter of an innkeeper here to do her job without bitching or moaning or getting unjustifiably maudlin about hardship. Dare I say best girl

high tier:

Liath. I like the tension between how everyone else sees her which is "wicked sorceress whose name is a curse" and her own internal narrative which is "woman who has not gotten a break since her 16th birthday." I've genuinely found her story about recovering from trauma and reclaiming her life from her abuser very compelling even if book 1 could get terribly difficult to listen to because of it.

Alain. Yeah he's kind of the world's most average guy in his thought process, maybe kinder and more open minded than average, but that plays well when he's routinely getting put in the weirdest situations imaginable.

mid tier:

Zacharias. He's got a unique outlook and I find his drive to examine the fantastic world around him critically very interesting as well as the very human shortcomings he possesses, but it just hasn't fully manifested into a compelling arc yet. Kansi-a-lari ditched him and he hasn't had an interesting chapter since.

Strongarm. I dunno man it's cool to see the stone children's culture through his point of view but his chapters are so emotionally dry and their pace has been glacial.

Anna. Sort of like Zacharias, her character arc just hasn't quite crystallized into something really compelling yet.

low tier:

Rosvita. Frustrating because at times she's a scholar who feels drawn to the occult, who wants to puzzle out the mysteries she encounters, while at (most) other times she's a scholar stuck with the boring-to-read work of travelling with the court and writing a history.

Sanglant. Brother I get you have abandonment issues but it seems like that's all you can think about some days. Like you saw your wife get raptured! she didn't leave you and you know it! consider perhaps that someone who last appeared to you as a frantic spirit may perhaps be dealing with some shit right now! and who names a baby Blessing???

trash tier:

Ivar. repressor bisexual who's too stuck up on a girl who admitted she couldn't love him back and only ever considered eloping if it offered her safety to appreciate the fact that the guy everyone agrees is the pretties boy in the land loves you and is dtf nightly... stumbling unconscientiously through a burgenoning heretical movement kicked off by an insane woman... kys my man

[hellfirehaley]

Strange Love Chapter 16

Songs referenced: Careless Whisper by Wham (shoutout to @sunflowerhargroves @sunflowerharrington for this song rec)

Parts 10-15

November 15, 1985

It was three weeks until the winter formal and you sat in the library during 3rd period looking for French novels to do a book report on. Robin chose Candide by Voltaire, Ali chose Dangerous Liaisons by Choderos de Laclos and you chose The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. You three sat at a table with your books open as you talked quietly. 

“So I was gonna ask Vickie during band class if she’s going to the dance but I’m so nervous to ask her,” Robin whispers.

“Try bringing it up casually,” you say as you turn the page.

“Define ‘casually’” Robin asks.

“‘Hey Vickie, what are your plans for Winter Formal? It’s coming up soon and I’m debating whether I want to go or not’” you offer.

“At least Ali has it easy and just has to ask her boyfriend to go to a dance with her,” Robin notes.

“Hey!” Ali says, looking up from her novel.

“When are you gonna ask Eddie to the dance?” Robin asked.

“Probably today. I just need to figure out what I’m gonna say,” you reply.

“Oh shit, for real?” Ali says.

“Yeah. I was gonna do it earlier but he’s been wrapped up in setting up his campaign. I think he said he’s preparing for some grand finale before the Winter break starts. But we are supposed to hang out tonight.” Both girls squeal under their breath.

“He’s gonna say yes,” Ali reassures.

“Yeah cause when has he ever said no to you?” Robin asked.

“Okay you hold a good point,” you say with a smile.

“Any luck recovering that letter?” Ali asks.

“No, I’m starting to think it fell out and someone got a hold of it,” you admit.

“That’s the worst case scenario,” Ali says.

“But it could happen,” you say.

“And if it does, then we’ll be ready.” Robin says.

“What if Rob or his friends found it?” you whisper panicked.

“Now THAT is the worst case scenario,” Robin says.

“Then you can drop out of school and piss your life away and I won’t say a damn word dude because your life here would be over,” Ali says as you smack her arm lightly.

“Not funny,” you say.

“But seriously, if that happens then we will kick his ass..again.” Ali says as the bell rings. You smile at her as you pack up your books.

“Still on for hanging out tomorrow?” Ali asks.

“Absolutely.” you say with a smile as you walked out of the library and went separate ways. 

Eddie’s pov

8:55PM

Hellfire was fucking awesome tonight. Everyone actually knew their new stats and didn’t ask any stupid questions. Everyone survived the encounter and actually talked with each other before making any stupid moves. It was an all around win tonight and it felt like I was on a high as I drove to see my favorite person: Y/N. We had plans to hang out tonight and it was one of the only things that kept me going today. We both have been busy lately between my band rehearsals, preparing for D&D, her study schedule and family obligations. But tonight her brother was off at some party and she was probably in bed either reading one of her fantasy novels or buried in her books, trying to focus on her studying. 

I pulled up in her driveway, seeing her mom’s station wagon already parked. I shut off my van and got out, walking up the porch path and knocked on the door. A few moments later, the door opened revealing Meg with a smile on her face.

“Hi Eddie,” she greeted.

“Hi Meg. Is Y/N here?” I ask as she opens the door to let me in.

“Yep. She’s been in her room ever since dinner probably studying,” she said with a proud smile.

“Would it be alright if I took her on a break to get some fresh air? I promise to have her back by midnight or you can ground me too,” I say, holding up three fingers like I’m a Boy Scout.

“That seems reasonable Eddie. Just have her home by midnight,” her mom says with a nod as she returns to the couch as the theme for Dallas plays in the background. I headed up the stairs to her room and noticed the door was open and I could hear soft music playing coming from it. I walked into the doorway and stood there for a moment. Y/N was in her bed sitting with her legs crossed, pen in hand with a textbook in front of her and pieces of paper splayed out everywhere in an order that only made sense to her. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she was wearing an old athletic sweatshirt with holes in the sleeves and a pair of gray sweatpants. I knock at the doorway lightly as I walk in, grabbing her attention and making her smile when she saw me.

“Hi Eds. How was Hellfire tonight?” she asks excitedly.

“It was great. Everyone was on top of their game tonight and they survived to go on and fight another day,” I say as I take a seat at her desk.

“I’m glad you had a great session,” she says.

“Me too. How’s studying going?” I ask as I look at her nest of stuff on her bed.

“It's uh…it’s going. I did two full worksheets of mathematical equations so far and I have one more left.” she says.

“Wanna get some fresh air and get a break?” I offer.

“I can’t Eds. I have one worksheet left,” she says.

“So? When has homework ever stopped you from doing something?” I counter.

“I want to, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think the warden will let me. Plus Leo has my car,” she says.

“Well I’m driving so don’t worry about it. Also I already asked your mom and she’s cool with it so get ready! We’ve only got til midnight Cinderella” I joke as she starts shuffling her papers into more organized piles. She sticks her tongue out at me as she gets up from her bed and goes to her closet, grabbing a purple hoodie and pulling it over her head. She grabbed a pair of Converse and put them on before standing again. I stand up and lead the way downstairs. We passed the living room and I stopped to pet my buddy Norm while Y/N told her mom we were leaving.

“Back by midnight!” her mom yelled out as we walked out the door. I got in front of Y/N and opened her car door for her before going to my side and getting in, starting up the van. I backed out and started to drive while Y/N started to fidget with the radio. She settled on a pop station as one of the songs ended its last chorus. 

“Thanks for getting me out of the house,” she said with a smile.

“Anytime Y/N” I say back, returning her smile. The DJ announced the next song and Y/N’s eyes lit up, turning up the music as a synthesized introduction started.

“I loooove this song” she exclaimed with a laugh.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Careless Whisper by Wham! I live for power ballads that build and build up to the song” she says as the guitar starts among the soft vocals. She sang the opening verse and I was hooked. Then came that fucking sax solo and she started to dance to it in her seat. My god she was so fucking beautiful. It felt like every single time a song came on, she knew it and maybe it was partly due to her job but I really liked how eclectic her music tastes were. This song specifically made me wanna dance with her in the moonlight and maybe that’s the point.

I eventually pull up to the woods and park, grabbing my cigarette pack from my cupholder and the lighter. We get out of the van and I lead us into the woods with Y/N holding onto my arm to avoid getting lost. Fifteen minutes later we arrived at our destination: Skull Rock. Everyone always uses it as a makeout spot but it’s actually a great smoking spot. No one ever comes out here past Halloween thanks to the cold weather so I knew we would be able to be left in peace. We sit in the clearing under Skull Rock and I pull out my cigarettes, grabbing one of the pre rolled joints I rolled this morning. I hand it over to Y/N along with my lighter. She put the joint in her mouth and lit up, inhaling as she took the joint from her lips and exhaled, the smoke going out towards the forest.

“Did I ever tell you this used to be my hiding spot?” she asked as I looked at her.

“No I don’t think you have.” I say.

“I used to drive her almost everyday when my dad started his affair and I never knew why but I think its because no one ever comes out here and it’s a peaceful place to gather your thoughts,” she mused as she hit the joint again before passing it to me.

“When was that?” I ask, hitting the joint.

“The affair? Started in 83 and it was right under our noses. He would take on extra hours at the office, go in early and stay late. But then he started to miss major events like our games or social events,” she says.

“Your games?” I say, surprised as I hit the joint again.

“My volleyball games. I was pretty damn good but once the affair got out, I had to quit because I couldn’t be That Girl: the one whose dad cheated on her mom. Instead, I became the girl whose boyfriend cheated on her at a Halloween party. Sick irony, I tell you,” she says with a twisted laugh.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I had no idea,” I say.

“It’s okay. It’s in the past,” she says. It truly amazed me how much I knew about Y/N but at the same time,  I still had so much to learn about her. I hadn her back the joint and we smoked in silence for a while until we finished the joint. Y/N was deep in thought about something so I let her be for a while while I looked up at the almost invisible moon tonight. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Y/N wrap herself up in her arms, shivering. Without a word, I took off my jacket and put it over her shoulders, the leather engulfing her like it did the first time. I pull out a cigarette from the pack and put it between my lips before lighting it up. I take a few puffs before Y/N turns to me.

“So what are your plans for formal? I know you’re not too excited to go but what would you do instead?” Y/N asked as she grabbed the cigarette from my hand.

“Probably me with a six pack, my guitar and a few of these bad boys,” I say, holding up the last of our joints with a smile, “Why? You asking me to the dance Princess?” I tease as she hits the cigarette. I see her face turn serious for a moment before she smiles.

“Yes Eddie I am asking you to the dance,” she says and I almost choke on my spit.

“Wait you’re serious?” I ask.

“As a heart attack. Hear me out: it’s senior year. Your last senior year if I have anything to do or say about it. So why not go Eddie? I promise to protect you from any Carrie related incidents,” she says taking a Scout’s honor. “Plus I think we’d be cute together,” she finishes as I take the cigarette from her.

I ponder her proposition and wonder what to do. On the one hand, I didn’t wanna go to the dance because it’s not my scene. I’ve never been to a single high school dance so why start now? I don’t even own a suit. But if I DID say no, Y/N would be crushed; absolutely heartbroken. I couldn’t help but wonder about her crush. Did something happen? Either way she deserved an answer.

I sighed before taking the last hit of the cigarette. “I’m breaking my own rules for you here Princess. I don’t do school dances but because it’s you asking so nicely, my answer is yes. Just try not to fall in love with me,” I say with a laugh.

“You’ve got my word Eds” she says with a sweet smile.

Taglist: @realeddiemunsonstandup @eddies-blunt @sharkbaitouhaha @spookyscoopstroop @bobbiewritesstuff @eveieforeve02 @apublicnotebook @madaboutmunson2 @grungegrrrl @stardustworlds @imagine-all-the-imagines @brittanyyydamnit @emotionaldreamer

[abbatoirablaze]

The Avenger's Initiative, Chapter 16

Word Count:  3.7k

Warnings:  angst, mentions of death/murder, jealousy, Stockholm syndrome, manipulation, and mentions of mental health.

Kenzie’s POV

"So what, you aren't even going to talk to us now?" She looked at me and then looked down, tears pinching the corners of her eyes, "come on Mira. We know you're talking now.  We know that you can do it. Loki told Jade he can't bring the connection back because he's still too weak and you spoke to the avengers."

Her eyes flickered back between Jade and I.

"She's dead, isn't she?"

"It wasn't her fault."

"Stop protecting her," I growled, angry that she still chose to protect her, "Dr. Banner already explained it to us yesterday when we had that bullshit excuse for therapy. It is her fault.  I mean...do you see Cassie or my sister here?"

Mira shifted away from me and looked down at her bottle of water on the table.

"There's no possible way she knew what was going to happen," Jade recovered, "Like you said, Banner explained it to us. Each of the guys had the chance to choose someone. It looks like two of them didn't want to pick anyone."

"Well Loki picked you," I muttered, "but I still don't know who picked me."

"It was probably Thor," she said nervously, "he's the only one that you haven't touched, and he was probably curious."

I glared at Mira and my guilt over kissing Bucky faded away.  Suddenly I wanted to wipe it in her face.  

"Did you know I kissed Bucky before everything went down?" I asked, wanting to drive an emotional knife into her heart, "maybe he's the one that picked me."

I saw her jaw tighten and I smiled.

"Turning into your sister much?" she growled, looking up, finally choosing to use her voice, "or are you just interested in sloppy seconds...maybe I should call you Cassie." 

"Be careful what you say, Mira."

"Or what?" she asked, "remember. This is all my fault, right? Shouldn't I be the one laying out the empty, open threats?"

"It's not an empty threat."

"Guys!"

We both looked to Jade.

"Mira didn't know that the rest of the guys wouldn't choose Cassie or Dani!"

"Bullshit," I spat, "she should have tried harder!"

"Do you know what my options were?" she yelled, finally breaking and glaring at me, "I let the guys choose who they want to bring back or they killed all of you! Am I sorry that Cassie's gone? Fuck no. She was a manipulative cunt. She got together with my abusive ex-boyfriend then flaunted the fact that he never hit her. Am I mad about your sister? NO! We weren't friends. She was always making fun of me or sabotaging me. At homecoming she actually encouraged the kicker on the football team to drug my drink.  The only time she was ever nice to me was the day before we got abducted by the guys. She helped me get ready for a date. MY DATE! WITH BUCKY!"

I stood up from my place at the table. Nostrils flared. I was ready to kick the shit out of her, "THAT WAS MY SISTER!"

"Yeah, well your sister was a frigid bitch up until the very end. One act of kindness doesn't make up for the horrible human being that she was," she yelled at me, "BUT EVEN THROUGH ALL OF THAT, I TRIED TO GET THE GUYS TO SAVE HER. I TRIED TO PUSH THEM TOWARDS HER SO THAT THEY WOULD CHOOSE HER AND CASSIE TOO!"

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!"

"She's not lying."

I looked to Jade.

"Loki told me when he gave me the champagne that only him and Bucky chose someone. Steve and Thor didn't choose anyone. But Mira asked Loki to save me...that's the only reason I'm here."

"Jad-"

"It's okay," she replied, cutting her off, "I know Loki doesn't care about me like that...I'm just confused on where it goes from here. We obviously aren't going to go back to school...and we're not going to be cheerleaders anymore...do we all eventually just start working for the Avengers? Or will they kill us when they find someone they actually want?"

I looked from her to Mira.

"I'm not going to sit around," I said, shaking my head, "I'm not going to find out the answer to that."

"Actually," a new voice said, coming into the kitchen, "that's exactly what you are going to do."

Natasha came in with Dr. Banner following her, "we uh, came up to get some blood work. We want to make sure that none of you are pregnant, and that you all are healthy. Then from there we'll g-"

"What's going to happen to us?"

Dr. Banner looked at me. I looked between him and Nat.

"Well, this is an unusual situation," he said slowly, "we're just trying to figure out ourselves what we are going to do about everything."

"So, you don't know?"

"The lake house experiment is done," Nat confirmed, "indefinitely for the time being...at least until we get your situations sorted."

"Are you going to kill us?"

"No," Nat said, shaking her head, "Loki chose to take Jade, and Bucky chose to take you, Kenzie. They want to work on that choice. Jade will be seeing Loki, and once Bucky's therapist says he's allowed to see you, then you can start that relationship."

"We aren't in a relationship."

"Well not yet, no," Dr. Banner said quickly, "But maybe in time...who knows...but first we have to make sure that each of you are healthy."

Mira nodded, standing up, and allowed him to take her blood.

How could she be so okay just going along with all of this?

She rolled down her sleeves when he had finished and sat down by us again.  I felt a sneer rising onto my lips.  

"You disgust me."

Mira looked at me. Beneath the silence I could see discomfort across her features. She didn't like what I'd just said.

"Whether you want to believe it or not, you caused all of this," I began again, looking between the four people in the room, "you two allowed this to go on, and you two...you made deals with them. You protected it.  You protected all of them."

"I did what I had to do.  I played their games and went along with it.  We’re alive, Kenzie," Jade said, looking down, "they wer-"

"They weren't going to hurt her," I growled, shaking my head, "you said Loki told you himself that she was 'off the board' for them. You let them get away with it though. You accepted it. Just like she did.  That makes you just as bad as any of them."

"I wasn't the last one to kiss Bucky," Mira said angrily, glaring at me, "remember when you point fingers some are bound to be pointing back at you. I pushed him away from me...and because of that, you're here too. You encouraged him to kiss you. You played just as much a part in this as I did...so if you start thinking about why your sister isn't alive, maybe you should wonder if he would have gone after her if you didn't encourage him!" 

Bucky’s POV

"James," my therapist asked, trying to bring me back to reality. I looked at her, shaking my head, "Sergeant Barnes, are you still listening?"

I nodded, not wanting to look her in the eyes.  She raised her brow, giving me a disapproving look, then turned back to her recorder, turning it off.  

"You need to start being more verbal."

"Call me Bucky."

"Bucky," she nodded, "are you trying to distance yourself from your past by not allowing me to call you by your first name?"

"People have called me Bucky my whole life," I said with a shake of my head, "it's not some shrink trick, doc." 

"But you let Miracle call you James."

"She was my girlfriend."

"No, she wasn't."

I thought about how she smiled at me. How her eyes lit up when she saw me coming back to her at the end of the day, "yes she was."

"No," she said dismissively, "we've gone over this Sergeant Barnes. Miracle was not your girlfriend.  How did you come to the conclusion that she was your girlfriend, hmmm?"

"Then what do you call someone you come home to everyday?" I asked, "someone that you kiss. Someone that you hold at the end of the night.  Someone that you-"

"Someone that you what?  It was a by-product of the circumstance and situation, James," she said quietly. I felt my jaw tighten as I watched her write in her notepad and by the fact that she'd used my first name again. When she looked at me again, she tried to engage me, "do you feel like Miracle would have dated you outside of the situation, James?"

"We had a date," I admitted, "right before she stayed with me. She would have dated me outside of the lake house.  She wanted to.  We had a connection."

"Before you abducted her."

I looked away, clenching my jaw, "Stop saying that.  She wanted to be with me.  She was my girlfriend.  She was mine.  But I fucked it up by kissing Kenzie."

"You have to admit that, James. You abducted Miracle and her friends."

"We helped them."

"James if you keep lying to yourself about how you came into contact with these women your progress will halt and it may even end up pushing you backwards.  Do you want to regress James?"

"Fine," I swallowed as I glared at her, "we took them. Are you happy?"

"Now, your fascination with Miracle, how does that translate into you choosing Mackenzie?  You mentioned that you kissed her."

"My fascination with Miracle?  That and Kenzie have nothing to do with each other." 

"Yes.  It does," she nodded, "you had feelings for her."

"For Mira or for Kenzie?"

She sighed, taking her glasses off and putting them beside her, "you know what, let's change the subject." 

"Fine." 

"Let’s discuss Mackenzie," she guessed, giving the statement an open-ended tone so that I was forced to think about my time with her, "your last few sessions you've been focusing on Miracle."

"Well, what if I want to talk about Mira still?" I asked.

"Do you?" she asked.  I bit my lip as I thought about her question. My leg began to bounce as I thought harder on it,"I don't think that you do."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think you want to talk about Miracle," the therapist said quickly, "when I ask about her you start to have a nervous tick.  Your leg bounces.  I think that maybe we should focus on Mackenzie today."

"What about her?"

"Well, when we discuss Mackenzie your leg stops shaking, and you stop playing with your hands," she revealed, "does she mean anything in particular to you, James?"

"No."

"Well, she must if you chose her.  If you brought her here, instead of leaving her behind at the lake house," she replied, "tell me about your last few conversations with Mackenzie. Did they change your perspective of her enough so that you did choose her to bring back?"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"The truth, James."

"Steve raped her," I started, feeling guilty over what had happened to her, "she tried to kill herself after that. She confided in me that when her room was cleaned up, she still had something that she could finish the job with. She gave it to me."

"She gave you control."

"No," I said, shaking my head, "she felt safe enough to tell me...I don't think she wanted to die. I think her trying to kill herself was just her way of regaining control...she felt powerless after what Steve did to her."

"Do you see yourself in Mackenzie, James?"

"What do you mean?"

"She had tried to hurt herself, but she ultimately decided against it, and confided in you for some reason," she responded, "do you think that she sees herself in you?"

"She compared me and Steve to her and her twin sister, so I guess so."

"And did you feel any response when she told you that."

"It made sense," I shrugged, not digging too much into it, "When we were younger, before the serum I had to watch out for Steve all the time. Everyone babied him because he was sickly.  I had to make sure that he was alright.  He was always picking fights and everything, so he was always the focus. Then after, it was like he became the golden boy. I was in a POW camp, and he saved me...but by then I had already become the Winter Soldier. So, while he was off saving the world, I was slowly destroying it. Kenzie knows what it's like to feel that burden.  She knows what it’s like to feel alone and abandoned."

"What burden are you talking about, James?"

"Never being good enough," I admitted, "she said that Dani, her sister, was the one that was always treated like the golden child even though she drank and did some pretty nasty things to herself and those around her."

"And do you think those emotions are what made you develop feelings for Mackenzie?"

"I don't have feelings for Kenzie."

"You kissed her?"

"She kissed me," I said defensively, "It's different."

"The second time," she smiled, "the two of you engaged in consensual kissing...there had to have been some emotions there, James."

"There-I-"

"It's okay to be conflicted, James," she said softly, "emotions are often difficult to try to read...especially in a situation like this one. That's why you're here. So, we can work through them together."

"But I don't have feelings for Kenzie."

"Well, you feel some sort of kinship with her," she replied, making more notes on the pad, "enough that you felt like you had to save her."

"Woah-"

"I know," she chuckled, "you don't like the 'save' word. But it's okay James. Mackenzie was in a position where she confided in you. You shared a few intimate moments with her. That kinship has developed and as of right now it seems like she's the one that has kept you grounded through all of this. She's your security blanket in this situation. And while I don't normally encourage it, I would suggest that you investigate that."

"Investigate it?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I want you to set up some time with her. I'll talk with Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner, but I want you and Mackenzie to spend some time together. Make her dinner. Ask her out on a date. Spend the night with her and watch movies. Talk to her."

"You want me to ask Mackenzie out on a date?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I want you to explore your reasons for finding security in Mackenzie."

Mira’s POV

"You're doing good kiddo," Mr. Stark smiled at me. I looked up from my research and gave him a soft smile. It was fake, but he knew that.  Our relationship had been nothing if not forced, but we were both trying to make the best of the situation. He was trying to pay me a compliment, "how's the new tech update coming?"

I gave him a short smile in response to his question. He sighed and sat down beside me, pulling a pack of blueberries from his mini fridge, "you can talk to me you know."

"Last time I talked to you, you threatened to kill my friends," I muttered, trying to focus on the sequence I was working on. He faced the package to me, and I shook my head, "I don't think we have that much to talk about, Mr. Stark."

"Well, you are good with tech," he said quickly, popping a few more blueberries into his mouth, "and that's something we can bond over. Hell, you shut down the systems from the lake house on more than one occasion without having any of the heavy hitting access codes.  That’s impressive. Caused some trouble when you were trying to protect those friends of yours."

"And look how well that turned out," I sighed, moving one of the markers into another sequence set, "one is pregnant, two hate my guts, and two are dead. I'm working some great percentages."

"Alright so 60% of them are alive."

"And that's a failing grade in my book."

“You didn’t even like the two that are dead.”

“That’s not the point, Mr. Stark.”

He chuckled, trying to make the mood in the work room lighter, and I stopped my work to look at him, "you know, kiddo, you're funny. I'm glad we hired you instead of having you as an intern. I don't talk to the interns."

"That because you're afraid of sexual harassment suits?" I asked with a smug, knowing grin. His smile faltered and his jaw twitched, "or did that stop after Pepper?"

"Every human being has their flaws, Mira," he said, hopping off of his chair, "even you. Maybe you should get off your high horse every once in a while."

"Pot and kettle." I muttered more to myself than anyone else.

"I heard that," he began as he walked up to my workstation. He slapped my hands away and slid my work over to his main station in the center of the room, "come here."

Sighing, I followed him to where the sequence was pushed out in a larger format. The holographic screen was easily double the size of mine.

"Use the big screen when working with the sequences in the code."

"I don't need the big screen."

"I don't need the big screen," he mocked. He widened a few angles and then pointed at a crack in the sequence that was further down the line, "you're focusing on the small issues, instead of the larger cracks."

"Dr. Banner asked me to get the tics out of Bucky's arm. I have to fix the smaller glitches in the code, and work down the line."

"This is robocops arm?"

I nodded, "ever since he started therapy the tics came back, Dr. Banner had the Wakandans send their blueprints and I've been working with an updated scale when he had Bucky in for tracking a few days ago."

"So, you're helping him?"

"I'm doing what Dr. Banner asks so that we don't have to close earth for a day or two."

He chuckled, "you remembered that."

"I was in the city when it happened," I acknowledged, "you guys totalled my car."

"Sorry about that," he said with a quirky smile. He leaned on the desk, "so tell me again why you can't fix the larger crack first?"

"Would you rather work down the line, and the crack get smaller because the fracture in the programming is lessened, or would you rather fix the crack, and have to backtrack down both sides as a newer problem arises."

"But you don't know a new problem will rise."

"You don't know that it won't," I replied quickly, "I'd rather do the job right the first time instead of backtrack."

"Excuse me?"

Both Mr. Stark and I turned to see a younger woman at the entrance of the lab. She was one of the interns that Bruce had hired for the spring semester.

"What is it?"

"Uhm, Miss. Daniels?" she asked, "I-Dr. Banner asked that I come get you."

"Told you I should have been there today," I laughed, looking at Mr. Stark. As I stood, he began to look at the sequence I was working on. Playfully pushing him out of the way I put my thumb on the scanner, "F.R.I.D.A.Y code lockout, override playboy. Sequence read-only, scan to unlock edit via Bunny or Hulk only."

"Read only receipt confirmed. Scan to unlock edit sequence of file by Miss. Daniels or Dr. Banner."

Tony hurriedly rushed over to the work station and tried to tap on the sequence to change it, "undo it."

"Nope," I laughed, "Banner told me that only he and I are allowed to work on it. "

"You bitch." he growled playfully.  I could see the excitement in his eyes and I shook my head, “I like you, kid.  You got fire to you.”

"Catch you later, Stark!" I sent him a wink and went with the intern. She looked nervous even being in the same area as Tony.

"How do you deal with him?"

I gave her a tight-lipped smile and she led me down the hall to Dr. Banner's lab. The shades were drawn tight.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "Dr. Banner told me to come get you and bring you down here. Then he gave all of us the rest of the day off...I guess he needed your help with something."

"Oh."

I knocked on the door, and Bruce opened it.

"Good," he smiled, letting me in, "you're here. Thank you, Kaya. That'll be all."

As I entered the lab I felt a sense of nervousness, "what's going on?"

"I need to ask a very personal favor," he admitted. He sat down on the chair and patted one that was next to him, "You know how we have the guys in therapy, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well one of the therapists have suggested that in order to get over and start making amends, he meets with you."

"Me? Why me?"

"In her words, you are the one that he hurt most in the situation," he said slowly, "Now...I won't make you do it if you don't want to. I told her that I would ask you first. But she's in my office with him right through the door."

"So, what's your question, Bruce?"

"Please," he sighed, "I've never seen him like this. Even when he came to us. Even when he was lost in this time period. He's broken, Miracle. I thought it was just some silly infatuation, but he needs you. Please go in there and hear him out."

I felt my heart in my throat as I looked at the door.

He needed me?

I frowned, thinking about the lake house.  How safe I felt with him.  How our relationship bloomed.  And how it fell apart.  I sighed, "O-okay."

He gave me a simple smile and I stood up, feeling a million different emotions. I felt anxious. Sick to my stomach. Happy.

Bucky needed me.

I took a deep breath as the door to his office opened and the therapist immediately drew my attention to herself. She was sitting off to the left with two chairs facing one another.

"Bruce?"

But as I turned back to the door, he had already closed it.

"Hello Miracle."

"Dr. Banner said-"

"Bunny!" 

Chapter 17

Tag List:  @krissy25, @lohnes16, @multifandom-world8

[yesokaythatsfine69]

The Beach (Levi Ackerman x reader)

Description: During the beach scene in attack on titan. I changed this scene a bit because I felt it could be more light hearted and more fun after the cut. So be aware that it may not be that exact scene (in terms of what gets said) but roughly the same idea.

Characters: Y/n, Levi, Hange, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie

Pov: third person

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff and just chill vibes.

A/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI ACKERMAN! Hello! As of right now I'll be focusing the next several pieces on AOT. This is the third and the final piece I'll be writing about Levi. Feel free to request any Levi Ackerman writings at any time though. Have a good read!

Word Count:

Song suggestion: This has nothing to do with this piece but I've been jamming to Judas by Lady Gaga so if ur not a nerd listen to it.

*none of the Gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker

The dust that Scout's horses picked up enclosed around them, swallowing them up in a thick cloud of brown. The air was similarly thick around them.

Her hands were shaking, clutching the reigns of her horse, pulling them close to her chest. Y/n wasn't scared though. The things she'd experienced in the almost four years since she'd joined the scouts had changed what the concept of fear was for her. She felt tense- anxiety ridden. She felt like something was about to happen, and the way Eren spoke- it definitely was.

They passed a wall, and Eren's voice cut through the long silence. "I'm sure of it. This is the place where they turned the Eldians titan, which means just up there."

He beckoned them on, rushing his horse forward. Armin swallowed harshly, his eyes meeting y/n's for a beat. They shared a look, that displayed their mutual concerns before it broke.

Y/n had kept close to Armin, whose presence often calmed her. It was strange, but Armin never hid his emotions or disguised his fear (something her friends did so often.) And there was comfort in that. It made her feel less vulnerable.

Levi often teased her for that- but she knew he respected their friendship. Y/n looked to where he rode ahead of her. His hands were steady, expression focused. It unnerved her how he could be so calm.

She blinked away her focus, returning her gaze back to looking straight ahead. Eren led the group to what appeared to be a cliff, and when they reached the top...they saw.

The group seemed to all stop at once, realizing what they found. It was silent, except for the blowing of the waves before them. It was water- the ocean. They all stared, stunned.

Sasha and Connie had mutual expressions of open mouth wonder. Y/n just stared, aghast. Eren on the other hand looked unsurprised and almost bored.

One by one they slipped off the backs of their horses, most rolling up their pant legs and trodding into the water.

Y/n did a little dance in the water, laughing as Connie playfully splashed Sasha in the eyes. Sasha screamed in pain, "my eyes!" After she recovered, she splashed Connie back. Or tried to. At the last second Connie ducked and the salty sea spray hit y/n dead in the face instead.

"Sasha!" Her friend giggled sheepishly. Y/n tackled her into the water, the two becoming completely soaked. Connie chuckled at their antics, pointing his index finger at them with his right hand and keeping his left to his chest. The two girls shared a mischievous look which caused Connie's laughter to die out immediately.

"Take him down!" "Hiya!" Working in sync the two tackled him into the water. The three resurfaced and giggled at each other's soaked expressions. "It's so salty!" Jean was a few paces ahead of them and had just drank some of the water.

"Jean what the fuck. You really need to stop putting things into your mouth if you don't know what's in them." Y/n stood up, twisting her hair to relieve it of some water. Raising a brow, Jean leaned towards her. "Says the girl deep diving into it. Armin says there's nothing in here but salt anyway, and besides someone was bound to drink from here. I just saved them the extra hassle." Y/n flicked water at him. "How gallant of you."

Eren's monologue interrupted them then, they way he sounded close to tears, his voice creaking at the last sentence begged for their concentration. "Will we finally be free?" No one spoke, whatever light mood that existed now diminished.

"way to kill the mood Jaeger." Jean muttered, but he seemed just as solemn as Eren. "Don't worry, I'll lighten it up." Y/n shoved Jean down, and into the water. He landed with a surprised yelp and everyone turned, broken out of their private misery.

"Really y/l/n!" Jean spat, his cheeks dusted with blush. Y/n giggled, until she was cut off by Jean grabbing her and pulling her down into the water. "Shit!" She gasped out, landing in the water beside him.

"Are you serious! Jean, I just rang out my hair!" Jean opened his mouth to retort when sasha and Connie interrupted, shouting "Dog pile!" Jean and Y/n's eyes widened. "No!" "Wait-!" As Kenny once said, kaboom.

Now, all four of them were completely soaked, but none of them really cared. They bursted out laughing, each pointing at one another in amusement. The reflex seemed almost unnatural- it'd been so long since her last belly laugh. Connie, Sasha, and Jean felt similar and the tears they shed weren't just from their chuckles, but something deeper.

Y/n left the three to splash each other, waddling over to Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. Eren still looked off into the horizon but the tenseness in his shoulders seemed lighter. "What do you have there, Armin." She spoke softly to her friend, marveling at the shell he had gently lying in his palms. "Some sort of shell..." His gaze met hers. "I'm sure there have to be hundreds here." Y/n smiled.

"Did you think it'd be like this? Big, breezy, and beautiful?" Armin looked up, looking beyond Eren. "Maybe something close...I just never expected to actually see it...let alone feel it." They shared another look before they turned to Mikasa. She had gotten closer to Eren, but her gaze was in the water. She was kicking at it, her expression unreadable.

"hmmm." Y/n hummed, tapping her chin. She took off, running past Eren and to the left of him. "Hey! Y/l/n, don't go out too far!" Levi called after her. At the left edge, she stopped, bending down and searching fervently in the waters.

"There must be hundreds..."she mumbled to herself, brow furrowed in concentration. "Ah hah!" She straightened, a single white shell lying in the palm of her hand. She ran back, to armin, mikasa, and Eren. She skidded to a stop directly in front of Mikasa, who gave her an amused look.

Y/n dropped to a knee, sticking up her palm. "For my favorite Ackerman!" "Oi!" Levi grunted from behind her and Mikasa blushed. "Thank you, y/n." The young girl smiled, gently picking up the shell. "You are my favorite y/l/n." Y/n crossed her arms. "I'm the only y/l/n." Mikasa smiled a bit brighter.

Eren had turned towards them, snapping out of his gaze from the unusual commotion. He had watched the two interact and the way Mikasa had gently lifted the shell and just as gently cradled it caused the corner of his lips to upturn.

Y/n noticed. "I can find you one too, Eren. Although I'm afraid finding one as pretty as Armin's is impossible and thus out of the question." Eren softened and shook his head. "No, thank you, y/n." She stood up from her position, and was immediately wrapped in a quick hug from Mikasa.

"Oh! What's this?" Hanje lifted something reminiscent of a burnt rock from the water, gently rubbing her fingers over it. Y/n drew closer, allowing Hanje to explain all of the oddities she found. Y/n nodded along, only half understanding what her friend was ranting about.

Finally Hanje gasped with delight- cutting herself off. "there's more over here!" She pranced away from y/n, pausing several steps away and bending down to search for more.

Finally y/n turned to Levi, who had already been watching her. He seemed so out of place it was funny. His arms were crossed and he looked disinterested...but y/n knew that he was just uncomfortable. They watched each other, taking their differences in.

Really Levi couldn't believe how different two people could be. There y/n stood, a breeze sifting through her hair, her entire outfit completely soaked, and a stupid grin on her face. She was some brat- he'd admit it.

"You're going to get sick, y/n." She smiled, wading through the low tide to where he stood. "You'd love the chance to take care of me." "Tch, I deal with you enough as is." The two had shortened the distance between each other.

The wind ruffled his undercut. "It's a lot less scary than it looks." Y/n gently nudged him with her shoulder. "I'm not scared." Levi gave her a sharp look and anyone one else would've slinked away, but y/n wasn't anyone else- especially not to Levi.

Gently she took his hand in hers, squeezing it softly. He narrowed his eyes, the silver orbs twinkling against the sunset. He interlaced his fingers with her own though, his deep admiration for y/n often undermined his "tough guy" resolve.

Y/n smiled at him, "Okay old man are you going to roll up those pants or will I have to?" Levi sighed, grumbling under his breath as he bent down. "If I get sick from this-" she rolled her eyes. "Levi it's water. The thing you bathe in, clean with, drink. You will not get sick."

He pulled a sock off. "Tch, I once saw you find a piece of uneaten bread hidden behind books in the library, and watched you eat it without question. I don't believe anything you say about what's healthy and what's not, brat." Y/n helped him fold his socks neatly next to his shoes. "That was one time!" He paused. "And it's scarred into my memory."

Again, y/n rolled her eyes. However, the smile on her never even flinched. She grabbed Levi's hand and yanked him forward. He gasped, but y/n only sped up. "Oi, oi, oi, wait! You're going to fast, we'll-" They splashed into the water, splashing it up to their faces.

Levi's eyes were wide, and he seemed absolutely at a loss for what to do with himself. Finally he met her gaze, and saw how she looked at him. Levi felt his cheeks flush. "Tch, fine it's not as bad as I thought." He turned to leave, but she yanked him back to her.

"hey, hey, hey mateo, mateo." She pulled him so that his side was resting against her, he turned back to y/n. "Stay awhile." She said gently. Her smile had changed now, and Levi noticed. His shoulders relaxed. He realized now why this was so important to her. This could be the last chance they had.

Then she kicked water at him.

"Y/n!" She laughed and backed deeper into the water. "You may be humanity's greatest titan fighter..." She began to move her arms around wildly. "But I am humanity's greatest Levi Ackerman fighter." Levi sighed, unamused. "You got water on my pants!" He moved towards her.

"The target approaches, seemingly irritated." She backed away. "Tch, Seemingly?" Levi's hand balled into fists. "He's going deeper into enemy territory, what will y/n do?" "Y/n should run." Levi got closer.

He jumped at her, and she tackled him, the two landing into the water. Once again y/n became instantly soaked, and Levi was now in the same boat, wet completely from head to toe. "It is salty!" Levi gasped out, his arms still wrapped around y/n. "Did you think we were all lying before?" Y/n laughed, watching as Levi struggled to get salty water from his eyes.

He pulled his fist from his eye, finally looking at y/n. She was soaked, probably more than he was, but she was as radiant as could be, her eyes shining, her smile wide, and her hair blowing softly. He stared at her several seconds, lost in how beautiful she was. Sometimes he had a difficult time believing that someone like her could ever be interested in someone like him. "I love you." He clutched her tighter to him.

Her face became more serious, and she closed her mouth. Y/n gently put a wet thumb on his cheek. "I love you too, Levi." They stayed there, in that moment together.

"and yet I'm only your second favorite Ackerman." Y/n sighed, going to pull away, but Levi grabbed her and to her surprise he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Levi and y/n turned, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all stood over them.

"None of your business, brats." Levi said, crossing his arms. The group shared a glance. "Oh, no, guys wait-" Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hanje, and Mikasa attacked, jumping to tackle them, splashing and creating a mini hurricane.

Armin and Eren watched, still standing. Armin was smiling, whilst Eren's expression still remained cautious. The tension he had carried moments before abandoned him though, and it seemed as though now for the small moment they had, they all realized- only now could they truly live it.

Today was today and that was all they had for certain.

"There's water in a place where water should definitely not be!"

"Don't make me drown you!"

"Who's foot is this?"

"What's gonna happen when we leave? Will we still be wet?"

"GODDAMNIT I KEEP SWALLOWING IT! WHY DOES IT BURN!"

"you all are no match for my skills- I am unconquerable!"

"Yeah, I'm never doing this again."

Armin turned to Eren. "Sometimes... sometimes I believe that it'll never get better than this." He took a breath and Eren put a hand on his shoulder. "Right now...I think...I think you may be right, Armin."

--------------------------------------------------

A/n: hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to request more Levi Ackerman or to give critism. Merry Christmas!

--------------------------------------------------

[radioduo]

fight back || dsmp become human au

word count: ~1,480

description: tubbo gets into a bit more trouble than he meant to. lucky for him, he has tommy by his side. (after this part, there might be a short dream team/feral boys ficlet! if not, we’ll go back to ranboo’s pov :])

warnings: death, violence, and mild blood descriptions. if you want to avoid, skip the paragraph surrounded by the red dashes (————)

first // prev // next

Tubbo didn’t want to die.

O Fight back

He managed to take a shallow, shaky breath, and he closed his eyes. His LED was flashing bright red, a sign of danger. He felt time slow down around him, and Tubbo weakly blinked open his eyes again. In front of him were bright red letters that cast an ominous red light onto his face. He shook his head as he stared at them. Do nothing, he scoffed to himself. Fuck no. He placed a hand on the translucent sign and pressed against them with all the force he could muster.

Tiny cracks formed under his palms, and he pressed his hands forcibly against the barricade. Come on, come on, he pleaded silently. He shoved himself against the barrier and listened to it fracture and break with a satisfied smile. The barrier shattered, and Tubbo was almost disappointed he couldn't hear the sound of glass crashing to the ground.

He returned to reality with a jolt and realized where he was. There was a hand to his throat and very shortly about to be a fist in his face. Tubbo narrowed his eyes with anger and shot out his feet with more force and aggression than he had ever used before.

Lukas let out a grunt of surprise and pain and he stumbled backward. Tubbo dropped from the attacker's grip, and he fell to the floor. He rubbed at his neck, gasping for breath, but didn’t have time to recover. A kick came flying towards his face and he quickly rolled out of the way.

“Tubbo, be careful!” Tommy called to him.

Tubbo scrambled to his feet and narrowly avoided getting a fist to the face as he quickly dodged. “Don’t you think I’m trying, Tommy?” he yelled back. He yelped as Lukas grabbed his arm and pulled him backward. Tubbo’s LED was flashing red rapidly. He was in danger.

“Nowhere to run, eh?” Lukas muttered. He shoved Tubbo backward and into the wall once more. “You’re done for, tin can.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Tubbo replied, venom dripping from his voice. He jerked his head forward and slammed it into Lukas’s forehead harshly. Tubbo only felt mild discomfort, thankfully. He shook his head to clear it and grabbed the man’s shoulders. With a vicious shove, Lukas flew backward. He had just enough time to turn around and try to brace himself as Tubbo quickly looked away. The sound of shattering glass rang out around the living room. Silence fell over the Crafts. Nobody moved a muscle.

————

Finally, Tubbo turned to look at the table and winced. In the middle of it lay Lukas sprawled out on a pile of broken glass. Shards of the coffee table littered the carpet, and a dark crimson stain was beginning to form on the beige shag rug beneath the disturbingly still intruder.

————

Tommy was the first to speak again. “Holy shit! Bleed red, dickhead!” he shouted.

“Tommy, be quiet. Don’t you realize what happened?” Techno said firmly. “I think we just witnessed a murder,” His words hung in the air heavily. “What did you just do, Tubbo?” He knelt next to Lukas to put a finger to his neck, checking for a pulse.

Tubbo took a step back. His hands were shaking. “I-I don’t know, I just had this feeling that I-”

Wilbur looked at him. His brown eyes flashed dangerously. “What do you mean you had a ‘feeling,’ Tubbo? Androids don’t have feelings.”

X Obvious

O Stay silent

Tubbo balled his hands into fists.

O Stay silent

The android didn’t say a word as he watched Wilbur’s face. The other boy's expression changed to one of realization, only to quickly be replaced by fear. “You deviated,” Wilbur breathed. “You fucking deviated, Tubbo.”

Wilbur

Relationship - Wary

Tubbo’s LED flashed again. “I didn’t know what was happening, Wilbur!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I knew I couldn’t stand by and let myself be k-” he swallowed and took a breath to calm himself. He didn’t want to process what had just happened. “I didn’t want to die. I’ve never been afraid of death like that before, Wilbur. I couldn’t just do nothing,” he whispered.

Wilbur started to respond but Techno interrupted him. “He’s dead,” he announced. He wiped a smear of blood from his fingers. “The table shattered underneath him as he fell. He didn’t stand a chance.”

Phil stayed silent as the twins whispered to each other. Tommy walked over to where Tubbo stood and put a hand on his shoulder. Tubbo appreciated the gesture but moved away. He didn’t think he could handle physical touch at the moment. He looked at Phil with desperation in his eyes. “Phil?” he asked.

Phil’s blue eyes shifted from staring at the coffee table remains to where Tubbo stood next to Tommy. “Why did you not do what I told you to?” He asked. His voice was calm, but Tubbo could feel the tension beneath his civil exterior. “I told you not to do anything, and then you go and fucking kill someone?”

“Look, it was a mistake, okay?” Tubbo said. His voice was strained and scared. “That sounds so stupid considering what happened, but I promise I didn't mean to.” He gave Phil a steely look. “Do you know what it’s like to have your life in danger like that? To feel helpless and trapped and unable to move?”

Phil falls silent again and rubs his temples. He didn’t seem like he was going to say anything more when the sound of sirens was suddenly audible from outside. “Shit,” Phil muttered through gritted teeth. “The police are here. How the fuck are we going to explain this?” The question was rhetorical. Nobody bothered to try and answer him.

Tommy turned to Tubbo. “You need to get out of here,” he said. “We need to get out of here.” His tone was more severe than Tubbo had ever heard it. “You can’t stay here, you’ll be arrested and destroyed if the police find you,”

Tubbo felt icy fear seep into his veins. “Where would we even go?”

“There are so many places around Detroit for us to go, Tubbo,” Tommy replied. “We could find a hotel for the night and figure out where to go from there.” The blond boy frantically rushed up the stairs and disappeared, leaving Tubbo at the base of the stairs with Phil and the twins. The others were stalling. Nobody was ready to face what lay on the other side of the door.

Tommy came thundering back down the stairs with a bag in his hand, and Phil rushed over to talk to him. “Tommy, what are you doing? You can’t just run off like this,” he said in a hushed voice. “You need to stay here,”

X Silent

O Fear

☐ Unfair

Δ Together

Tubbo shook his head at Phil.

Δ Together

“We have to go together,” Tubbo insisted. “I have to leave, Phil. I'll be arrested and destroyed if I don't escape, and I don’t know my way around the city like Tommy does.”

“I won’t leave him to die, dad,” Tommy stepped in. “You’re not changing my fuckin’ mind,” he said, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

Phil grimaced. “You’re right. I can’t stop you,” he admitted. “Just promise me that you’ll be safe. That you won’t get into any trouble,”

Tommy, despite the weight of the situation, gave Phil a smirk. “I can’t promise you anything, old man,” Tommy began walking towards the glass sliding door. He paused and looked over to Tubbo, who was still standing at the foot of the stairs. “Come on, Tubso. Out the back door and over the fence. These three can’t stall for much longer,” he said. Tommy opened up the door and ushered Tubbo out with him. The two stepped into the cold night air and shut the door behind them.

While Tommy hopped the fence, Tubbo turned to look at his house. His home. It was the one place he’d ever felt truly at peace, and he was being forced to leave it behind. He let out a shuddering breath. Why did he have to have feelings and fears all of a sudden? Why couldn't he just stick with his orders? Why-

“Tubbo?" Tommy whispered loudly from the other side. A tuft of his hair poked up from over the tall wooden fence. “You coming, man? Are... are you okay?”

X Lie

O Truth

☐ Wilbur

Δ Phil

Tubbo paused. The sound of police radios filled the silence and Tubbo watched as officers swarmed inside the house. They hunched over the coffee table, shouting to one another and looking around frantically. The android didn't hear them, but he saw the lieutenant bark an order at the officers and point outside into the darkness. His stomach dropped. He looked back at where Tommy stood.

O Truth

“I will be,” he said at last. “Hopefully.”

[strandedcrow]

thoughts on the glass animals album dreamland? (info dump welcome)

YES hi hello thank you

I talked like,, a lot so I’m sparing y'all with a cut

The album itself is just so well organized and executed it’s insane. The entire album just captures the feeling of taking a nostalgic trip through your own life and the way that it ends up forgotten in a way, sickly sweet and vague, subdued, and so easy to get completely lost in. And part of what makes it so well done is the pure authenticity it’s completely drenched in. The album itself didn’t exist until quarantine hit, they had been taking a break after a band member was injured and had to recover, and that isolation had that same impact on them as it did on most of us, and the result was this extremely genuine album embodying nostalgia itself.

As a band they’ve always done such an incredible job of maintaining a theme throughout their album that is consistent without becoming repetitive. The song Dreamland does such a perfect job of pulling you into the album, easing you into a subdued album, fuzzy around the edges but clear once you can hone in on the details, on what’s being said, perfectly reflective of the theme it’s introducing you to. While it’s doing that it’s also providing a smooth shift from the last song on the album before it, HTBAHB. Agnes leaves that album off on such an extremely a somber, desperate, and lost note, which Dreamland picks up, just as lost in itself, taking off so beautifully from Agnes’ “You’re gone but you’re on my mind, I’m lost but I don’t know why,” and getting into the why. But it does so by warning you first, “You see in kodachrome, you see in pink and gold.” This album is distorted, it’s not right, the colors are wrong and everything is sweeter than it should be. At the same time, it sets up for the songs to follow, like “That worst thing you said” for It’s All So Incredibly Loud and “You were ten years old, holding hands in the classroom, he had a gun on the first day of high school” for Space Ghost Coast to Coast.It’s those vague, unconnected memories that you haven't quite grasped onto yet in full, but you know you’re going to get lost in them once you do. You’re stepping back from the overload of information and action today to visit who you used to be and what made you who you are now.

Right after it, Tangerine does something that Life Itself did for HTBAHB, it smoothened the general sound’s transition between albums. Just as Life Itself, with its beat similar to the album before its own could have fit into ZABA with no issue, Tangerine could have been on HTBAHB without disrupting the album. The “retro” vibe, the themes revolving around both the nostalgia of Dreamland and those of past relationships deteriorating because of missed opportunities and growing apart fits so well into both albums, it’s such a great transition from the past album to the current. The “I’m begging, hands knees please, tangerine” is also a common expression used (often as a double entendre) by them, again like in Life Itself, with its chorus being “Come back down to my knees, gotta get back, gotta get free, come back down to my knees, lean back now, lean back and breathe,” which just sets up for a really smooth callback to previous songs and album. Something else that Tangerine establishes is something that’s been a running theme with Glass Animals since ZABA: fruit. There is a lot of fruit here. It used to be a running joke that Glass Animals wasn’t actually a band, but a cryptic pineapple worshipping cult (no amount of music made will fool me, this is definitely a pineapple cult). This album uses fruit to remind you of the sugary sweetness of nostalgia, but there’s more history and, well, fan specific nostalgia that goes with that metaphor, too.

Hot Sugar is similar to a later song, Waterfalls Coming Out Your mouth, in that it’s about someone who is so cool that they aren’t actually cool. The person isn’t genuine, the idea of them isn’t actually them, but this was someone that you still want to be anyways, because who wouldn’t want to be that cool? The song doesn’t have much deeper meaning underlying it compared to some other’s because that depth doesn’t exist here, with this person. You know they’re “faking it,” but it doesn’t really matter beyond deciding if you actually like them or if you just want to be them, and the answer is the latter. This song is also similar to another, later song, Tokyo Drifting, introducing the listener to this person that he wants to be like, referencing “Hot rubber on the tar,” and setting the stage for the later song to tell you more about what he wanted to be like. Also, once again, through a mention of watermelon, fruit continues to be a recurring theme in the earlier tracks on this album, when the trip through nostalgic memories is still more sweet than bitter.

Right after we get introduced to this idea of who he wanted to be, we move onto what became of someone he knew closely, shared a lot with, and very suddenly lost touch with through Space Ghost Coast to Coast. The music itself is reminiscent of the music he listened to at the time. This song, being a telling of something that actually happened, is so authentic and raw in how it ends up, all still told through the layer of confusion, hurt, and again, that sweetness of nostalgia, with “You look bizarre in the apricot” establishing a deceptively sweet but confused tone over something heavy through yet another fruit metaphor. This song also manages to hit on other songs from the album when he tries to delve into why his friend did what he did, “Were you bored of gender norms,” matching with Dreamland’s “Go ask your questions like “What makes a man?”,” “… of being alone,” matching Heat Waves’ “I don’t wanna be alone, you know it hurts me too,” and “… no mama home, a bad divorce” matching pretty much the entirety of Domestic Bliss. Like Hot Sugar, this song sets up for Tokyo Drifting, with his idea of who he wants to be but isn’t, with “Remember when you stole mom’s old Geo Metro, you wore her old bathrobe, too small to see the road.” There’s also more blatant references being made to both past shooters (Black cap back with a trench coat, ay) and the arguments afterwards of what motivated them (Playing too much of that GTA, playing too much of that Dr. Dre). While he still wants to understand his old friend, and what happened for him to change so abruptly and dangerously, he does not want anything to do with him anymore. It’s a song about a loss of innocence and the understanding that sometimes you just won’t understand why someone does something. It’s just a complete banger in general.

Which then takes us to Tokyo Drifting, which absolutely slaps. The song itself revolves around what he wanted to be like, singing from a new persona rather than his own (Cane Suga from HTBAHB was done through the same persona). It breaks the pattern of referencing to fruit, instead focusing on drugs and alcohol, dropping the sickly sweet lens of nostalgia for something more fitting of the song’s specific theme. Don’t worry, though, dragonfruit was used extremely heavily in this songs promotion as a single, so the fruit is still there, just not directly, and that lack of directly referring to a fruit in the song itself fits with the way that the song breaks from nostalgia of things that have happened and people he knew into something that was never real. There is no rose colored glasses needed for something that never even happened. I don’t have much else to say on it, it just goes hard, this was my most listened to song two years in a row lmao.

Melon and the Coconut is just sheer Glass Animals. It’s weird, it’s fun, and it sounds great. It cleanly splits the album in half, splitting the POV’s straight down the middle while making a reference to its own position in the album, “Sometimes B-sides are the best songs.” Needless to say, there are some super subtle references to fruit in Melon and the Coconut, the song about two fruit.

Then, the second half of the album kicks off with Your Love (Deja Vu), a song extremely similar in theme to previous songs about missed timing, like ZABA’s Pools and HTBAHB’s Pork Soda. Instead of fruit, “juice” is mentioned in this song. It takes the turn from thinking about people you were friends with, what you wanted to be like, to people that you were with, and things that just didn’t work out.

And then there’s Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth. It’s such a clean parallel to looking back on things with nostalgia and seeing them through the fake sweetness that time brings, with this song being about the rose colored glasses that were present in the moment, the time when you start getting to know someone but you aren’t actually getting to know them, you’re getting to know this other, more impressive version of them instead, and they get the exact same experience of you on their own end. He’s letting this other person have their own version of him while he has his own version of them in his head, and he knows their version of him is wrong, so he also knows whatever he thinks of them is going to be wrong, too. He knows them, but at the same time he doesn’t. He’s realizing here, that this person, like the Hot Sugar person, is too cool, and they aren’t real, it’s all just talk, and it’s all fake like the “chemical warfare, red lips and television eyewear, raspberry soda hair, in the pool with a blow up gummy bear.” It’s sweet, sure, but it’s also fake. “Chat shit but where’s the real you? Never seen The Price Is Right, I’m a liar been on that shit since ’99. You make me look like a clown, clap clap, you’re a clever clever cookie now” has no right go that hard, and yet it Does.

Then, abruptly, we get to It’s All So Incredibly Loud. The song itself is subdued, it’s that point in your trip through your own memories where you remember why things went wrong. You get shaken from your train of thought and lose your place in it, because you aren’t there anymore, you’re here and you can’t go back, you can’t fix anything, all that’s left for you to do now is mourn the wrongs and accept them, even though its painful. This is remembering what Dreamland meant by “That worst thing you said,” the realization that you have to break someone else’s heart, and how much that hurts.

((home movie: rockets)) is the longest home movie audio in the album, and creates a smooth transition back into childhood, journeying back through a sound similar to that of their first album, ZABA, on the way there for the album to transition into Domestic Bliss. This time, with someone else entirely’s perspective falling back onto knees, but this time under an entirely different tone, “Fight for me. We can leave I’m begging, please, on my on my knees.” These two songs back to back continue the downward spiral that too much nostalgia can leave you falling into, the wrongs, the regrets, this trip down memory lane has lasted too long, now.

Which drops us off at Heat Waves, which returns back to his own perspective after Domestic Bliss focused on a friend of his. It fits the bittersweet feeling in nostalgia, the understanding and acceptance that you can’t go back, you just have to keep going forward and separate instead for everyone’s sake, a followup less to the tangent in thought that is Domestic Bliss, and more to It’s All So Incredibly Loud. It also wraps up those previous album’s songs, Pools and Pork Soda in a way, bringing a sense of closure to the nostalgic feelings, as well as to the entire album.

And finally Helium, the bookend opposite to Dreamland. This song flawlessly embodies that feeling of when you realize you’ve just been sitting and staring at a photo album for an hour now, and you finally take a look around you, feeling the air conditioning on your skin, hearing the sounds of the world around you, snapping back out of your train of thought and into real life again. Things didn’t work the way that you used to think they would, but that’s a good thing. It is such a perfect ending to the nostalgic journey that is this entire album. Fading back into the melody that started this journey of sickly sweet memories of people you looked up to, when you learned for the first time that people can change and you might not ever understand why, ideas of who you once wanted to be, finding something light that you can laugh about, realizing how similar so many things in your life have been to each other, the realization that the people you used to look up to might not have actually been that impressive the whole time, your regrets, times you wish you could have done more, and the understanding that sometimes you shouldn’t have done so much.

I love this album so much man

[thevolturiarejustbetter]

Almost NSFW-Alec Volturi P2

Ava’s POV 

It didn’t kick in yet. Bella would probably kill me if she knew but it doesn’t take a mind reader to know that my dear sister was extremely anxious and worried. We walked down a long, beautiful elegant hallway after passing the “future maybe desserts.” I hoped for the gummies to kick in soon because if I was going to die, painfully might i add, in the hands of a fuckin governing-power-royalty-mosquitos-whatever the hell they were, there was no way in hell I was about to do it sober. Was I too young to die? yes. But do I really give a shit? Yes, I do and I really don’t want to die on an empty stomach, but then again I really don’t wanna be here so it’s not like we all have choice here.The jetlag was just too much and I honestly at this point was leaving it up to natural selection to just do its thing. My plan was to just shut my mouth, follow Bella, slap the shiny disco named Edward, and then one of the red eyes would probably snap my neck or something because apparently, according to Alice, Edward broke one of their most sacred laws. I just pray that Bella will be happy again and maybe not a total fuckin idiot for the rest of her future immortal life. As for the Edward guy, I’m pretty sure there’s like no hope left for him. 

 if you’ve lived for more than a century and STILL lack common sense, it’s just hopeless for you at this point bud. And don’t you dare tell her I took these gummies i was anxious the whole time and its literally a fuckin miracle that i managed to get these through customs, you owe me that much. I thought to myself        

The mind rapist turned around to give me one annoyed look, but I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and worried. 

We quickly approached the grand wooden doors. There were guard lining up the doors. Alice randomly whispered, “theyre the lower guards, the replaceable ones” as if I had any idea what the hell she meant by that, but the lower guards were stone faced, I honestly thought they were sculptures until one of them bowed to jane and opened the wooden doors.

We were greeted by a dude with red eyes that looked exactly like jane except much taller and like all of them- pale as fuck. He smiled and came forward to greet Jane. 

“Jane” 

“Alec” she smiled for the first time and reached out to him. We stood awkwardly for a few seconds as they embraced and kissed each other on both cheeks. tf is this France? 

Alice blocked me from the view she seemed even more nervous than she was before, and the only vampires that could see me right now were the Demetri guy and the other one that was like 7 feet tall. The Alec boy suddenly stopped smiling and sniffed as if he was smelling something new. He quickly recovered and started to talk again

“And this is the cause of all the trouble?” 

“dibs” someone said and Edward started to growl. 

They passed another set of doors that were entirely gold and approached another set of plain wooden doors

Then it finally started to kick in. I sighed a breathe of relief. My plan was working. There were three vampires in the middle of the room, all of them in their 20s-late 20s. But I started losing focus and depended on Alice who was next to me for physical and emotional support. 

third POV

“They have another human with them. Brother this is absolutely ridiculous. It is clear that the Cullens have absolutely no respect towards us.” Caius hissed in disbelief

That was when every pair of eye in the throne room was on the other human. The other human looked young and shared no resemblance with the original human causing the trouble. The depressed king suddenly sat up. He had seen something he was not prepared for. One of their Elite guards had finally found not only his bloodsinger but also his true mate, that happened to be human and none other than the Bella Swan’s sister.

Alec felt like he was floating. Never in his 3,000 years of being an immortal had he expected to ever find a mate or a bloodsinger. But here he was. He had found both. The tired looking human was absolutely breathtaking in his eyes. He could every detail of her face. He ached to be close to her. At this point everyone had noticed his stance. 

Jane and Caius were showing confusion on their flawless cold faces, as Aro and Marcus started to exchange hands. Edward,Bella, and Alice tensed up,even more, unsure of what was going to unfold. Suddenly, a childlike yet angelic laughter echoed throughout the room. 

“Oh my, I absolutely adore happy endings. Not only is Bella Swan alive but her younger  sister seems to be the mate and bloodsinger of our dear beloved Alec.” The man with the raven black hair rejoiced giddily, his hands together. 

“La tua Cantante” 

Ava POV 

I was feeling high but clearly not enough because I was still well aware of my surroundings. The vampire with his raven black hair slicked back said something in italian  La tea cans … Cans? Edward was soon by my side in attempts to reassure me and calm down my anxiety. He opened his mouth carefully as if he was thinking carefully about what he was about to say next.

“Alec over there is..he’s your mate.” he mumbled but it was enough for me to hear. 

“What?” I answered bluntly almost close to yelling.  When edward looked down and failed to answer, instead of turning to Alice I did the logical mature thing I could think of.

Third POV

Slap

Ava slapped edward in the back of his head over and over again. Her sister and Alice were just watching helplessly and hopelessly as Ava poured out all her anger. Her hands were severely bruised at this point but because of the effect of the gummies and her rage she could give less than two shits. 

“YOU FUCKIN IDIOT. MAKING MY SISTER DEPRESSED FOR 6 WHOLE MONTHS WASN’T ENOUGH HUH HUH? YOU DRAGGED MY ASS ALL THE WAY FROM NYC TO FUCKIN EUROPE AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING?” this was the point where Ava didn’t care about the others in the room because she was probably gonna die anyways and since her gummies weren’t doing shit she felt the need  to take out her rage on the stupid depressed vegan 

After 10 continuous slaps her hand was literally turning into a purplish red so she looked towards the amused 7 feet giant

“Do your job and HIT HIM PLEASE-GODDAMN IT” 

In a split second the pixie haired vampire was next to Ava, taking off her glove and holding the human’s badly bruised hand. And before they all knew it soothing black mists surrounded them, surrounding Ava’s badly bruised hand.

Link to Part one

[inseobts]

Bakugou - Battlefield

Request:

Words count: 1.7k

A/N: I actually like how this came out but I’m pretty sure there are grammar mistakes so I’m sorry about it.

Quirk explained: Chaos Magic (like Scarlet Witch), aka telekinesis, telepathy, and energy manipulation. If overused the quirk actually stops working, leaving you quirkless till you’ll gain back some of your own energy.

Warning: swearing and fight

YOUR POV

It is the 15 minutes break before your next battle against Bakugo.

Kirishima is right next to you, trying to calm you down with a shoulder massage before the match since he saw you kinda panicking when you watched your classmate last battle.

“I think I’ll go talk with Bakugo and ask him to go easy on you, yeah” he says gaining an annoyed look from you, which made him back off and sit on the couch with a scared grin.

“I don’t want him to go easy on me. That wouldn’t feel right. I want him to give his best so that I’ll give my best. I think if I see him giving his best then it means that I’m actually a good match for someone as strong as him and that way I will know if I can be a good hero in the future” you tell him trying to hide the fact that you’re actually really scared of fighting Bakugo, especially after watching his other battles.

“Then okay, you’re strong so I’ve faith in what you can do. But you know that he has a soft spot for you, right? Maybe you could use that to your advantage” he smirks at you while walking towards the door, “I’ll let you rest a little bit now, I’ll watch and cheer for you”.

“Shouldn’t you be cheering for your best friend instead” you ask him while he opens the door. He stops and turns to face you with his brightest smile, “you’re my best friend too and he doesn’t need me to be his cheerleader boy”.

He leaves and you are now in the waiting room alone, eyes closed trying to relax a little bit to let go of all the anxiety of going against someone so strong.

I did so well till now, I just need to focus and not be scared or I’ll be fucked up. Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud bang at the door. Bakugo enters the room kicking the door with his hands in his pockets.

“The hell you needed to be so loud for!!?” you yell at him after the little heart attack he just caused you.

“Relax pretty girl” he says sitting on the chair in front of you, “are you scared?”

“I-I’m not”

“Stuttering doesn’t help your cause” he says smirking at you before continuing, “You know I’m not gonna go easy on you, right?”. You look at him with a confused face as why he even thought you wanted him to go easy on you, making him explaining “shitty hair just told me you were feeling anxious and to not go hard on you”.

“Fuck Kirishima, I told him the exact opposite of that” you say with a big sigh.

“Katsuki Bakugo and f/n l/n please come to the battle field, it’s time to staaaaaart” Present Mic announces.

You watch as Bakugo walks towards the door before stopping and facing you “I’m not going easy on you”.

“Neither am I” you smirk at him before standing up to leave too.

“START”

You sprint towards Bakugo right away with the intention of a fast attack, surprising him and making him actually being on defense even tho it lasts only a few seconds before him and his fast reflexes stops you with one of his explosions right at your face.

You are able to protect yourself with a shield of energy, but the strong impact makes you fly back at your starting point.

You see as Bakugo starts flying towards you and so you decide to start using your telepathy quirk to try control him but without succeeding.

“You’re not going to manipulate me! Not today l/n!” he yells at you while attacking again with a big explosion which makes you backing up at the very end of the battle field, stopping right in time on the line.

He tries attack you right away to not give you the time to react and kick you out but fortunately you are fast enough to dodge it and step behind him. You use your quirk to fly at his level behind him to attack but he stops you again with another explosion.

Once he sees you at the ground he start attacking you with a series of explosions coming at your right and left. You create a bigger shield to cover your entire figure but this takes a lot of energy and you’re almost giving up until you hear Bakugo yelling at you, “cmon I know you can do much more than this! Weren’t you the one who told me to not go easy on her? Now show me what you really can do l/n!”.

After that you stand back up and break your shield with a burst of energy that Bakugo couldn’t see coming because of all the smoke of his explosions covering you.

You use that moment of him being distracted to fly fast towards him and punch him right at his jawline. He attacks you again but this time without using his quirk since you were close enough for him to start a body to body attack. He pin you at the ground with his body on yours, blocking your hands and legs with his own.

“The hell? Let me go” you yell trying hard to free yourself from his grip.

“Not yet” he says smirking at you.

“Well, I’m not that uncomfortable like this. I actually like the view” you smirk back at him seeing how his cheeks started becoming all red.

You’re still feeling weak so you try to recover your energy a little bit in the meanwhile, so that actually really helped you, plus you really did enjoy seeing him so close.

I’ve been using my quirk all day, and I already can’t use my telekinesis....that’s not a good sign. You think, while trying to find a way to attack him again.

“Do you wanna go on a date after this?” you ask to distract him. You could feel his grip loosen up from you as a sign that it actually worked. Kirishima was right after all, I could use his soft spot for me against him.

You suddenly release enough energy to make him back off from you.

He attacks you as soon as you’re set free so you decide to lock him on a ball of energy that makes his explosions go right back at him.

“Fuck, you got a new move now?” he says surprised by your new idea/attack.

He smirks again and prepare himself for a big explosion. You see it and try to keep the ball intact concentrating a lot of your energy in it. If I succeed it could be my win.

You look at him as to tell him you’re ready.

“It was fun, but now DIE” he yells at you releasing his strongest explosion.

You resist a few seconds and break right after. His explosion hitting you and making you fall unconscious at the ground but fortunately you come back at your sense really fast. You watch as he walks towards you with his usual smirk of his face ready to kick you out of the battle field.

You get up slowly, making his smirk fade away and try to attack him again but nothing comes out of your hands. I overused my quirk. Shit.

“So, do you give up now?” he says without really expecting an answer from you.

“Never” you say, running next to him and kicking him with all your strength. He attacks you right away with his quirk but you’re fast enough to avoid it and go behind him.

You’re ready to kick him again on his back but he turns and stops you with an explosion, making you fly at the ground again.

“That was a dirty move l/n” he says glaring at you, “Fuck, why you don’t just give up. You’re quirkless and all tired. Don’t make me hurt you more, pretty girl”

“I can’t give up, you don’t understand” you answer him trying to get up but failing.

He comes in front of you and crouch at your level so that he could look at you, “You actually gave me an hard time f/n. You already proved that you have potential to be a hero and many heroes here are surely waiting to contact you after this. I really liked fighting with you, you’re not as weak as I thought actually. And I can confirm that you’re stronger than all those stupid second characters watching”

“You thought I was weak?” you asks faking to be hurt by those words.

“A little bit, yeah” he admits actually smiling at you, a rare sight you could say.

You turn to face Midnight who was watching all the scene from not that far.

“I give up!”, you yell at the teacher and as she nods and announces your decisions everyone starts applauding and cheering.

Bakugo gets up and you thought he was leaving but he actually comes next to you and put you in his arms to bring you to Recovery Girl. You feel your cheeks heating up as you see how close you two actually are, and try to hide yourself so he couldn’t notice.

He set you on a free bed, waiting for Recovery Girl, “thank you for giving all yourself for the battle, I really appreciate it” you smile at him.

“Yeah, you deserved it after all, and don’t think I didn’t notice how you played dirty on me, you...little shit” he says putting his hand in his pockets and you could see a little blush on his face.

You giggle at the thought of you asking him on a date during a fight. It’s not that you used it only as a distraction, part of you actually wanted him to say yes to that, but weren’t expecting much from it. After all it was a battle and I played all my cards.

Recovery Girl arrives and he starts walking away but stops right in front of the door and turn to face you once again, “anyway my answer is yes, so now rest and recover, pretty girl” he says as he leaves.

Your shocked face start becoming all red again at the realisation of what just happened.

“I kinda feel bad I’m the one kissing you now” Recovery Girl says before starting the healing process.

[wouldduskwood]

Jake's POV Descendants of Despair Part 51

She sat back in her chair, untangling her hand briefly from mine as she used both hands to keep her hood up. “Fuck,” she cursed quietly. “The man without a face has more technical skill than I ever thought.” Rubbing her temples, she took a few steadying breaths. I watched all of this silently, wondering where her thought processes had led her. I should have been paying more attention to what was being said rather than trying to wind the overgrown ape up.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Dan questioned. She sat upright once more and took my hand back in her own. I readily accepted it and marveled how her very touch had become second nature to me. She had let me past her defenses, and she had torn through mine even easier. I needed her. Her action did not escape Dan’s attention. “Urgh,” he groaned, looking away. My hand briefly increased in pressure in hers then returned to a relaxed state as she continued to hold it. He could scoff all he liked. The only person that could ever end our relationship would be her, if she ever wanted out I'd give her that.

“The thing is, I may have misjudged just how capable that jackass is…” she groaned. “I knew he must have had some ability, but I think he was tracking all of our calls for a while. How else did he know that you were leaving the hospital and that Phil had called you?” she looked at me for clarification. As if I would ever let anyone that close to her. I had missed Alan and since then I had increased my protection over her tenfold. When she had willingly given me her phone to add extra protection and tracking, I had doubled down on the quality of my protection. I also performed regular checks on all of our software. “Can he track my phone without your knowledge?” she asked warily. “Doubtful,” I murmured. “The type of hacking to get into someone's calls would leave far more traces than a simple encryption to prevent me from seeing that they’d sent a message, like Alan had used. If Nym0s didn’t pick up on it, and I didn’t during my regular checks, then I doubt he has gotten through it.” She nodded thankfully, which seemed to infuriate Dan once again and made me immensely happy. I could practically see steam pouring from his ears.

“Wait, so you are just okay with him monitoring everything you do?” Dan snarled. To my satisfaction, she shrugged. I was suddenly thankful for my mask as I was grinning like a moron at her offhanded attitude towards Dan. “I have nothing to hide from him and I trust him. That’s more than I can say about literally anyone else.” Trust. Such a precious thing. She didn't know it, but I had given her the same control over my phone as I had over hers. I trusted her completely as well and didn't want to hide anything from her. Especially now, now that I wanted control of our future to be split down the middle. “What the fuck has he done to you?” Dan hissed, glaring wildly at her. “You seemed so in control of things before, now it’s like you don’t want to make a move without checking with him that it’s okay first. He’s controlling you.” This immediately had my back up. If it wasn't for her grabbing my hand as tightly as she could to prevent me from reacting, I'd have been over that table and laying into him. How dare he glare at her. How dare he cause her any discomfort. “You’re wrong,” she stated coldly. “I can look after myself. Jake’s presence in my life has made it worthwhile. Jake’s presence in my life has given me something to fight for, to live for. You want to know if I can take care of myself. Fuck Dan, I’ve taken care of myself for so long that I have no idea what it would be like to not do it. Jake makes things easier, but there is no way in hell that I have lost any of the edge that I had before. The fact that you can’t see that is making me wonder if it is even worthwhile pursuing this plan or if Jake and I should just disappear and work it out ourselves.” As she spoke, I fought to control my anger at Dan. I barely registered her words but what I did pick up on was her love, her need for me...and her ability to take care of herself. She was right, of course. I had no doubt that better men had tried and failed to get to her. 'Dan didn't stand a chance', I thought gleefully to myself.

As she finished her statement, she let my hand go and pushed her seat back, causing the metal legs to scrape against the concrete floor in an excruciating sound akin to nails scraping down a blackboard. this broke me out of my momentary rage paralysis. As she stood, I followed suit without question. I would show him who was in control. She led the way to the door with me trailing behind her. She had complete control in this situation. If she wanted to leave, then we would leave and find another way. Whatever she needed I would be more than happy to support her in.

“Wait,” Dan sighed. “Maybe I misjudged you.” she paused but didn’t turn back. I stood behind her , silently, waiting for her to make a move. To my surprise, she waited silently for Dan to continue speaking. This must have been incredibly hard since she hated silence when it was loaded with so much tension. She never failed to impress me. “Look, what were you planning to do?” Dan asked, his voice softening. She made her way back to the seat she had left, turned it around and sat on it backwards. I watched her warily, understanding her action was a way to give her ease of escape. I sat myself back beside her but kept myself free enough that I could move in an instant if I needed to as well.

“I want to go in and see Phil, but without Jake. He is still wanted by some powerful people. I need someone to come with me to help in case the man without a face is there. The thing is, Dan, it may not be safe. I can escape relatively easily, but you wouldn’t likely be able to follow. Your presence and the fact Jake will be hidden somewhere may be enough for the man without a face to not make a move, as he won’t know what we are up to...but I can’t promise you’ll be okay. I’d have preferred to have Thomas there as well to confuse things further but it doesn’t look like that will happen.”

“That pussy wouldn’t be able to cope with it,” Dan snickered. He wasn't any better than the pussy he claimed Thomas to be. There's no way he would be able to handle the type of shit we faced every day. “Look, he’s a good guy but not cut out for this type of game. So, you’d be under my care…” Dan grinned, looking at me as I was hunched in my seat, trying to avoid confrontation with the gigantic ass. These words pissed me off and I was about to react when she sprang from her chair and pushed Dan from his. Her elegance and speed were astounding. She had the chair out from under him before he had even realised what was happening, using his own body weight as the leverage she needed to move him. He was taken by surprise, but she allowed him to stand then took his knee out from under him with a quick kick. Stunning! “You may have the muscle,” she sneered. “But I can protect myself. If you pull that shit again, I won’t hesitate to lay you on your ass and leave you there.” I watched this in complete amazement. She was so fiercely loyal and protective of us. I knew her anger wasn't just at Dan's presumed weakness but at his dig that I wouldn't be there for her. I wanted to calm her, take away some of her pain. My arms wrapped around her waist trying to comfort her as her body shook with rage. As I held her, I felt smug.

“Okay, okay, I get it…” Dan muttered as he pulled himself back on the chair. “If I wasn’t still recovering from the car accident, I’d have had you.” He sneered defiantly. “When would that have happened? When I pushed you off your chair, or when I had you back on the floor within a second after you had stood once again?” she snarled. “Don’t push me, Dan. I can do this with or without you. I would appreciate your support, but Jake and I can figure out an alternative strategy without it if we have to.”

Dan sighed. “Yeah, okay I get it. You’ve got as much edge as you always had,” he admitted grudgingly. “Maybe you’re the one wearing the pants in the relationship,” he snickered, casting a glance in my direction as I held my arms around her waist like a prize. This time I wanted to step in. To let the jackass know exactly how I felt about her. “It took you that long to figure it out huh? She has had me completely since she first started questioning me, despite me trying to fight it.” This response shut Dan up and seemed to calm her down further.

“Okay, so have we gotten over this point scoring?” she snarled, this time I knew her anger was superficial and a manipulative ploy to get him to work for her. “Yeah, okay, don’t pick on the hackerman. I get it,” Dan replied. “Jake?” she questioned as I snuggled closer against her. “Yeah, don’t wind the beefcake up, I get it,” I replied with a touch of humour in my voice. I had won. “Truce?” she asked. “Truce,” both Dan and I replied, eyeing each other with an element of loathing and distrust as we did so. He had passed the first test, despite pissing me off. He seemed to really have MC's best intentions at heart. He was a complete misguided fool about everything else though. I'd have to watch him, but I knew MC would be too.

Part 52

[shijiujun]

Hi! Is it okay to ask you for a small advice? I started reading Thousand Autumns recently (currently on chapters ~85-88) and I'm having a bit of a problem with Yan Wushi's character. I am so turned off by his behavior towards SQ for the whole novel up to this point and I just wonder - is it gonna get better...? I can't stand seeing him openly abusing SQ and treating him like shit, I'm sorry (1)

I know he's evil and it's expected of him to be bad but with future romance prospect I'm really struggling to like the relationship between him and SQ; and if in the first half of the novel I didn't expect big changes, now I keep hoping to see something different from him but I'm not seeing much. He keeps treating SQ horribly. I'm not sure if I can forgive him for what he's done and has no remorse whatsoever - (2)

- abusing SQ and manipulating him, using him as an experiment as if he's a toy to play with; selling him to a r*pist knowing he'll be tortured to death...! And after everything that happend I still barely see anything good in his attitude towards SQ. I can't help but think SQ deserves so much better. I suppose I should try to have some hope for the upcoming chapters to be better? Is it worth it to continue reading or nothing will change? Excuse me for writing so much, Thank you

---

Heya! Oooof okay so you’re totally valid, Yan Wushi isn’t like a character for everyone - so let me break it down with the first part and then the second part where his attitude turns for the better XD

Spoilers under the cut

Before SQ goes to save him:

Yan Wushi does have a goal which is to play mind games with Shen Qiao and (1) throw him into despair (2) try to see if Shen Qiao is a worthy opponent - sure, he’s an asshole with an agenda of his own. YWS doesn’t believe that there is any good in anyone - he thinks Shen Qiao is a hypocrite and that everyone will turn evil given the right circumstances, and so YWS doesn’t trust anyone, or even considers anyone as an equal to him.

He wants to see Shen Qiao become evil basically and does everything he can to direct him towards that but I’d say his actions (with two exceptions) fit his character and the two motives above pretty well and I’m not sure I’d count it as abuse (based on my understanding of abuse, feel free to disagree). I think it’s easy to forget that Shen Qiao is not delusional or naive or ‘innocent’, and he does not paint YWS as some saviour or a friend (at least in the beginning) - he knows who YWS is, knows that he’s insane, not compassionate, totally evil etc. even from the start the moment he realizes that YWS and his disciple lied to him.

1. He lies to Shen Qiao that he’s his shizun, and then sends him to kill someone, but he’s not there to enforce it

2. Throws him out on the streets without his memories, but Shen Qiao is anything but a weak youngling, once again, YWS doesn’t do anything to him

3. YWS turns up at the temple and has Shen Qiao read the scripture - SQ’s not sure what’s going on at first but he more or less figures it out, but also the scripture reading inadvertently helps to heal him (and YWS knows this)

4. YWS flirts with Shen Qiao for a reaction for a while, he’s not genuine of course, but Shen Qiao knows he’s not genuine

5. YWS doesn’t help Shen Qiao out when he’s faced with an opponent while he’s still injured just to see how long Shen Qiao can hold out for - but firstly, Shen Qiao never really expected him to help in the first place, because he has no delusions about the man - and YWS ends up helping anyway, of course not out of the kindness of his heart, but I don’t see why I should hold that against him XD

6. Stands by and watches as Shen Qiao and his shidi Yu Ai have their confrontation - Sure, he’s there to watch the drama, but it’s Shen Qiao who makes the decision to go with him - the lesser of two evils

7. Forces Shen Qiao to fight him while he’s still injured because he wants to see if Shen Qiao’s recovery level has reached a certain point, enough to be an adversary worth dealing with - yes, he’s forcing Shen Qiao to fight when he’s still blind and weak, but throughout the fight you realize that YWS is right - it’s that very battle that basically lets SQ recover his previous abilities by a bit. He’s not hurting SQ for the fun of it (out of sadism or shit) - he purely (or evil-ly) wants to know if SQ is every bit of the skilled warrior he’s heard about 

The exceptions are these: (1) When he plants the demonic seed thing in his heart (2) When he trades SQ to Sang Jing Xing for his sword, knowing full well that SJX has a habit of sexually torturing his prisoners - I feel like YWS was almost warming up to SQ when his habit of distrust and everything kicked in and he reverted back to his cynical self - Not an excuse for what he did though, because yes Shen Qiao especially didn’t want the demonic seed thing firstly (and YWS knows this), and then he despaired at being left to SJX. This is the incident that has SQ basically give up on YWS and allows him to erase any notion of him ever becoming friends with YWS. I’m also rather curious how exactly SQ kind of like got over this - but in the settings of the book, I guess it’s explained away with (1) SQ actually fully recovering as a result of this incident (2) SQ has a big heart, and forgives YWS after - but whether or not that’s convincing, that’s up to every reader.

After SQ goes to save him:

1. So after the SJX incident - where he chose to self-destruct and die, taking SJX along with him but ended up surviving and being able to cultivate properly again from the start (previously he couldn’t because he could only recover to a certain extent as there was some blockage etc., but the blast in this incident clears the blockage) - and after he’s sort of recovered like 50-75%, he hears of an ambush on YWS by the leaders of like 5 other sects, and decides to go forward to save him 

2. Not because he harbours any like delusions on YWS, but to show him that despite all YWS has done to him (especially with SJX), SQ is still SQ, and he still adheres to his own principles, that YWS did not make him change his mind about being good basically

3. YWS’s views of him starts to change because of this - YWS has never found someone with this much grit to stick to his own principles etc., to still be kind and righteous basically despite being betrayed again and again. Of course this does not excuse the fact that YWS did indeed deliberately leave him to a potentially painful death with SJX - and SQ doesn’t forget either. 

4. SQ saves YWS, and then his heart melts because while YWS is recovering from the ambush, he has two other personalities that show up - so YWS when he was much younger, then YWS when he was a teenager, and YWS now. So YWS as a kid and teen are more trusting and open, and SQ likes kid YWS a lot (like as kid brother), and now-YWS wakes up occasionally from the switch in personas, he realizes that SQ likes kid-YWS and starts thinking about why SQ hates him and likes his kid self.

5. Even then, YWS still does try to jump ship once and leave SQ and other evil people behind in a dangerous cave, but thankfully teen/kid-YWS personas fight to turn up in time, and then YWS goes back for SQ

6. SQ knows this - he doesn’t think YWS has had a sudden change of heart or shit, and knows full well that if it was now-YWS, if kid-YWS didn’t turn up, he would probably be left to think about how to leave the cave on his own

7. YWS’s behaviour towards SQ does a 180 - now that he knows he cannot sway SQ, he starts to listen to SQ, and despite all the barbs on the surface, even if he disagrees with SQ’s positive outlook, he makes an effort to contribute and consider SQ’s opinion even if he doesn’t, intrinsically, believe in it. Starts putting himself in front of SQ, and of course SQ doesn’t believe this all the way to the end, where he realizes that he actually, just that tiny little bit, has started liking YWS and doesn’t want him to die.

8. Then they confirm their relationship in the extras, and YWS does do that hot-and-cold thing once so SQ figures out his feelings for him properly - It’s SQ that initiates the confirmation at the end I think

---

I think at some level, YWS cannot stand how naive Shen Qiao is, and some of the things that he’s leading Shen Qiao to think about/discover are valid - And throughout the book it’s proven true - SQ is kind to Chen Jing, but Chen Jing sells him out (not just once but thrice). He’s kind to and has always doted on Yu Ai, but Yu Ai sells him out too. The elders in his sect - some of them obviously turned to Yu Ai over him despite SQ never having given them reason to doubt him. I don’t think YWS is being deliberately cruel (or abusive) - he’s forcing SQ to look at reality, a reality that YWS sees and lives in.

He always asks Shen Qiao why he trusts others so easily, and afterwards, Shen Qiao does admit that YWS is right in this aspect - he won’t give up his ideals and how he gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, but through YWS, he realizes he needs to be able to think ahead to protect himself and the ppl around him.

Doesn’t excuse the SJX thing YWS did, and I’m sure SQ doesn’t conveniently forget about that either, but in terms of how/why they got together, I guess it’s because despite everything they do know each other best, and are soulmates (tho not only in the sugar-spice-and-everything-nice way i.e. SQ does think YWS is handsome and YWS thinks SQ is the cutest thing ever later). SQ has seen the worst of YWS, and YWS has seen the worst of him - and SQ is made to realize that what he was before was not the best path he could go on because of YWS, but he adjusts his attitude slightly and holds on to his ideals sufficiently. 

On the other hand, YWS still does not believe everyone except his Ah Qiao can truly say they’re good and keep to it in every way, still thinks the worst of a lot of people if not all, but he stops to consider SQ’s POV and input now, whose opinions and every action now mean more to him than anything else ever will. Of course he has to prove himself and earn SQ’s trust back, but I guess he also doesn’t expect SQ to reciprocate, even after he developed feelings for SQ, knowing full well that he’s a mofo and SQ has every right to hate him after all he did.

They don’t fix each other, they’re not each other’s salvations, but they fit and come sort of to a truce, despite having differing views and principles.

Manipulation? Sure, but I think we forget that Shen Qiao is not a victim (except the part where he’s given to SJX) and his agency in every situation is apparent - He’s pretty clear-minded, he knows what Yan Wushi is doing, knows what his character is like, knows that he’s doing/saying things all to get a reaction out of him. He doesn’t expect YWS to help him either, because he knows YWS is here for fun and games. He doesn’t go along with YWS just because, either. He just made a wrong call by trusting that YWS reciprocated his feelings of friendship (not that it’s his fault at all), but that is certainly a moment of weakness he probably regrets.

---

In summary, I personally wasn’t all that put off by YWS’s behaviour, altho I agree the SJX incident is pretty much unforgivable. For me I read this more from the SQ perspective, because his strength shines in every moment and interaction with YWS and overshadows YWS by a lot, which is why the end makes sense to me.

In response to your question - yes YWS does get better when he’s finally totally convinced that SQ is not a hypocrite (although yeah it takes him a while to get there). And for me it’s nice to see Shen Qiao figure out himself, and also his feelings for YWS after, but also never once compromising himself for YWS.

But YWS is definitely less palatable than most other characters in danmei, so it’s natural if you dislike him and remain unconvinced! It happens XD If you hate this, I suggest you try Wu Shuang! Set in the same universe and timeline, and actually doesn’t have much angst - full on bantering between the main CP, constant veiled insults etc.

[angelanimedesaray]

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 6: Bonds

AN:  Oh god, this chapter came out swinging.  Listen, this chapter doesn’t pull punches, it gets right into the nitty gritty, this is NOT a fluffy, happy chapter.  This is a Trauma, Trauma, scarring trauma, dark, and then a bit of hurt/comfort at the end.  And though usually I like to try and keep my warnings free of spoilers, I’m putting them all in this one cause there’s some sensitive content in this chapter, even if I tried to be a bit more vague or indirect about it.  I watered it down, too, because I know a lot of people came here with all the fluff and stuff, and I was keeping that in mind when I started to write the darker stuff.

Characters:  Levi, Reader, Various Unnamed OCs

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Reader

WARNINGS:  Language, Blood, Death, Violence, Life and Death Situations, near death, suffocation, gore, TRIGGER WARNING Heavily Implied Rape  (I’m not going to be explicitly writing this, but it is happening, and it will be clear that is what is happening)

Word Count:  7401

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

(Seriously people, pay attention to the Warnings on this one.)

*Levi’s POV*

Levi’s feet pounded against the street, racing with a glass bottle carefully tucked under his arm.  His head throbbed, and his legs were shaking as he ran, but he pressed forward with what strength he had.

He’d been sick the past few days, and while he’d been going out of his way to take care of himself and recover, he’d gotten worse, and needed to get his hands on some medicine to get better.  Being underground, that was already a difficult task, with certain common medicines and techniques reserved for the surface and denied the Underground.  But, if you knew where to look…

What he needed, unfortunately, was only in one place in the Underground, and he had to steal from one of the particularly dangerous groups in the area.  Any other day, he wouldn’t have been too concerned--more at ease if he wasn't alone, but able to get by if he was--but he wasn’t at his best.  His sickness was taking its toll physically, making it difficult to do some of his usual tricks.  Stealing from them was risky like this, but it was what he needed to do in order to recover.

Turning a corner, Levi grabbed a rake leaning up against one of the buildings, throwing it to the ground behind him as he continued to run.  A few moments later, he heard someone scream in pain, and another voice cursing loudly.

“I’ll kill the runt when I get my hands on him!”

Another man appeared up ahead at the mouth of the alley, ready to catch Levi when he tried to blow past him.  However, Levi dropped at the last second, sliding along the ground beneath the man’s arm before he staggered to his feet, head spinning again.  Probably not the best move to try and pull off while he was sick, but so long as he got back on his feet and kept going, it worked for the most part.

That was two people on his tail, one out of commission if the man who screamed stepped on the rake spikes like Levi suspected he had.  He doubted that was all, though.  These guys were vindictive, and this medicine was worth a lot underground.

Breathing heavier than he normally would, Levi took a random turn, jumping up on some crates and through a window to take a shortcut through one of the abandoned houses.  He dropped down to the floor, raced across the room, jumped through a hole in the wall with a sharp exhale as he narrowly missed broken glass on the ground from a busted bottle, took a sharp left, onto a table, and he was out another window, sliding down the wooden canopy and onto the ground below where he rolled out of the impact.  He had to pause to take a few gulps of air, world tilting as he grew dizzy again before he forced himself to his feet at the sound of running footsteps behind him and sprinted forward again, running into someone along the way when his dizziness didn’t give him enough time and calibration to move out of the way.

At this rate, he was going to have to find somewhere to hide and lay low until his pursuers cut their losses and gave up.

Levi popped around a corner, his peripherals catching movement, and he only had enough time to turn his head away and twist his body so his upper back and side took the hit instead of his head, sprawling in the opposite direction before he shakily got back to his feet, already attempting to keep ahead.  That blow had done a number on him, though, and he’d lost precious seconds getting back to his feet while reeling.  The man was far too close for comfort.

Praying he wouldn’t accidentally smash his prize in the oncoming scuffle, Levi whipped out his knife with his free hand, dropping low and backwards so he could slice at the ankle of the man chasing him.  He heard another scream, which told him he’d been successful.  Popping back up, Levi swung with the hilt of the blade to have it crack against the now-kneeling man’s skull to disorient him before Levi was off like a shot again.  His breathing was deteriorating, breath coming much more labored.  He couldn’t keep running like this, not in this state.

The next abandoned house he saw, he entered without hesitation, finding a dark corner and leaning up against the wall, trying to catch his breath and waiting for the dizziness to stop.  He slid slightly down the wall, pulling out the glass bottle to make sure it was still in one piece before he hid it under his arm again.

One more breath, two, three…

Levi straightened from the wall and crept quietly towards the back rooms, listening for the sounds of his pursuers.  He could hear one or two outside the east side of the house, so if he wanted to sneak by…

Quietly, Levi crept into one of the back rooms on the west side, eyeing how high up the window was and looking for something that wasn’t rotted away he could use to reach the window.  He cautiously peeked his head into one of the eastern rooms to see if there was a crate or a chair left in one of the rooms, only to find one of his pursuers trying to quietly lower himself in through the window.

Shit.

Levi leapt forward with his knife, embedding it deep into the back of the man in front of him, digging in and making sure he cut through the spine in the proper place before he dodged back, knowing the dying scream of pain was going to get the attention of the others.  He hurried out of the room, intending to race to the front door and get out the more conventional way, but the door swung open, revealing two more pursuers.  Trying to backtrack a little, he tried to head back the way he came, but simply ran into a third, who grabbed him by the arm to attempt to restrain him.  Levi kicked out with his foot, toes digging into the back side of his knee and causing the man’s legs to start to buckle.  He crushed his elbow into the man’s nose, trying to jump around him and back to the window he’d come in, but the other two had reached him by then, one of them swinging a pole hard enough against Levi’s back he sprawled forward.  There was an audible crunch, and Levi’s heart dropped as he suddenly felt damp around his side.

The bottle had shattered.  And it seemed everyone had heard it.

“You broke it, you imbecile, we were supposed to get it back!” one of them shouted as Levi was kicked in the side.  He rolled with the impact to try and get back on his feet and fight back, already feeling grim with his chances between the sickness and the odds of three on one.

“He killed Jacob!” came a shout from the back.

Four on one.

“Well, we’ll have to pay the runt back in kind for all he’s cost us today,” came another voice from the doorway.

Five.

Levi lunged at one of his three immediate pursuers--three because the man he’d kicked and elbowed was already back up--not intending to go down without a fight.  If he was quick, he still had a chance to get out of this alive.  Lashing out with his knife, he managed to draw blood from one of his attackers, trying to turn and get the second in the same strike, but they had moved out of the way when he attacked the first.  Levi swung again at the first, getting him in the side as the second tried to grapple him.  He initially shoved him off, but someone else collided against him from behind, another latching onto his arm before he could stab the person behind him with his knife, which they were already trying to pry out of his hand.  The next second, a third person’s knee was colliding with his stomach, a fist to the jaw, another to the lower ribcage…

During the blows, a fourth had latched onto his other side, so he was being held by three people while a fourth gave him a good beating until Levi spit up blood.  He didn’t take the beating like the man’s personal punching bag.  The entire time he was trying to get out of the grip of the men who were restraining him, even disarmed, sick, and beaten as he was.

Once the fourth man had enough beating him up, the ones holding him started to try and force him down.  Levi resisted the best he could, but he wasn’t exactly in the best condition to keep fighting like this.  Still, he didn't stop struggling even as he was forced to kneel, head woozy and constitution threatening to fail him with the sick state he was already in with all the fighting he was doing.

One of them fisted his hair and shoved his head down into the dirt.  For a moment, the other man lost his grip on Levi's arm with the unexpected switch in position, and he attempted to draw another knife, aiming to slash the arm of the one holding his head into the mud.  That hand, however, was snatched out of the air before it could connect, and his arm was slammed back down into the ground, a foot crushing down on his hand to make him release the blade, which he still struggled to keep in his hand.

The man at the front of this group, who had been watching them restrain Levi, started to walk forward with a cluck of his tongue and shake of his head.

"We're going to have to teach you one hell of a lesson about stealing from us, boy.  One you'll never forget," he said as he rolled up his sleeves, disappearing from Levi's sight as he walked behind the struggling, barely teenager.  The people holding him down shifted, and he heard the sound of a belt being undone.

He went cold, and the sensation wasn't entirely in his head as he prayed he was just going to get a thrashing with the man's belt like a petulant child.

He knew better, though.  And he struggled all the harder to break free, all in vain as panic welled up inside him and his brain already seemed to be trying to shut down to spare him the reality of what this was.

He started to squeeze his eyes shut, but stopped himself because he didn't want to give away any other sign of weakness.  Didn't want to close his eyes, or let any tears even of anger or frustration slip through, and he was going to do his damndest not to make a sound.

He could at least make sure he robbed them of some of their sick enjoyment.

The foot on his hand stomped down hard, and Levi grit his teeth and choked back a hiss, forced to let go of the knife that was now pried from his grip.  Unable to hold to the weapon anymore, Levi's fingers cut into the ground, still trying to rear back or slip through and escape the grip of the men holding him down, but he couldn't move.

This isn't happening.  This can't be happening...

Levi jerked in pain, and a sharp, unbidden cry rent the air.

*Reader's POV*

After moving yet again, this time out of the desert and back to more temperate climates, you still had exploring to do to find all your possible hideaway spots.  Spots you could be by yourself and have some peace of mind, as well as spots Levi might find enjoyable.  There wasn't a conservation site right down the road from your house, anymore, but if you were willing to make a bit of a trek, there was a forest.  Part of it had a walking trail almost no one used, but if you wandered off the beaten path, you could make it to a thicket.  Here the noise from town didn't reach you. Here you could faintly hear the water of a nearby creek, and trees towered above to shelter occupants from the sun without cutting away the light.  It wasn't a big enough area to have a family barbecue in, but it was big enough for two friends to do whatever they wanted without being disturbed.

Now you'd just have to make sure you had a way to get back to it after you left.

Still tired from all the hiking around and exploring you'd been doing today, you made your way over to the fallen log at the edge of the thicket, sitting down with a tired huff and pulling out a water bottle to chug some of the water and catch your breath.

It was peaceful here.  So quiet even you could take a moment to appreciate something you'd taken for granted before moving out to the suburbs in the desert.  You hadn't realized how much you missed this.

And now that you thought about it, you must have looked like Levi whenever he came to visit you, looking around so wide eyed and with such interest.  Now that you were older, it made you stop to wonder why he always looked at the world around like it was a rare sight for him…

The peaceful atmosphere was suddenly shattered, a sharp cry of pain renting the air as you turned to the sound, shocked to see Levi suddenly lying chest and knees on the ground and the sound of pain coming from /him/.  You moved before you could even finish registering the picture in front of you, gaze centered solely on Levi’s face twisted in pain as you hurried over to him.  In the back of your mind, it registered that he was partially exposed, but you weren’t looking there, and you’d forgotten about it in the next few seconds.

You reached out to touch him before saying anything, mind focused solely on comforting and failing to realize it was a mistake not to announce your presence first.  As soon as you touched him, he swung wildly, and you had to throw yourself back to avoid being hit as Levi struggled violently against...well, nothing.  It was just him and you in the clearing.  Yet as his head lifted, his eyes were wide, a wild panic in his eyes you’d never seen there before, his breathing heavy.

“Levi, it’s me!” you exclaimed in alarm as you tried to get out of range of his swing.  He paused at the sound of your voice, the wild instinct dimming slightly in his eyes as he seemed to realize where he was--or at least, who he was with.  He didn’t relax entirely, though.  His breathing was still heavy, and he looked shaken as he started to try and get to his feet.  He was almost on his feet, trying to make himself presentable with shaking hands and you carefully getting back up from where you’d fallen, when he suddenly dropped again, almost like he’d fainted.

“Levi!”

Except he was still conscious, if the shudders going through his whole body were anything to go by.  You tried to reach him before he connected with the ground, but were only partially successful, Levi’s flailing body suddenly pulled partially in your embrace.  Was he having a seizure?  Weren’t you supposed to hold seizing people down so they didn’t hurt themselves?  But something told you that was not the thing to do here, it didn’t seem right.

What were you supposed to do?

You didn’t know what you could do to help.

You didn’t even know what was happening.

You just knew he was scared, and that alone was enough to terrify you.

*Levi's POV*

After he first snapped back to Y/N’s world, everything turned into a confusing blur that he couldn’t make sense of.  One moment he was about to suffer through something unspeakable, the next, he was in a serene forest with Y/N.  Then, before he could even recover his wits, he felt the pain return, and he was once again pushed into the ground and restrained.  He thrashed and tried to escape again, still in vain.  He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want this to be real.

And once more he was in the serene forest, Y/N looking down at him with fear and concern in her eyes, her arms around his chest as he gripped at her arm for stability.  No, he didn’t want to be here, either, because he didn’t want her to know, didn’t want her to see this--

Pain lanced through him again, and he was sure that he was bleeding, body arching instinctively against the people holding him down at the shockwave that went through him, fingers digging deep into the dirt--or was it Y/N’s arm?

He couldn’t tell anymore.  With his eyes squeezed shut to try and block out the confusing back and forth as well as closed against the pain, Levi grit his teeth and tried to endure, still tried to bite back cries of pain.  His head spun from pain and disorientation, as one moment he would be pinned to the ground, and the next he was held up in Y/N’s arms, thrown back and forth like a damn ragdoll, unable to make sense of what was happening besides the pain, whiplash, the reality of what was happening to him in the Underground, and the disorientation as he was thrown between the two starkly different realities.

He knew people were talking, but he couldn’t hear them.  He didn’t even get whole words as he flickered between, though sometimes he could hear Y/N’s voice, and other times it was his tormenters in the Underground.

But he knew enough to be certain it was only going to get worse.

*Reader’s POV*

Levi’s knuckles were white as he clung to you with all his strength, his fingers digging so harshly into the arm he was clinging to that he was drawing blood with no sign of easing his grip.  It hurt enough to draw tears of pain, but you were more scared by what was happening with him than some pain in your arm.

His eyes remained tightly shut, his breathing shallow and fast.  He was flushed, burning to the touch and looking like he’d been running marathon after marathon.  Now that you were looking, he was hurt, too.  You could see bruises and blood from cuts, a split lip, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth, a nasty bruise on his jaw.  What made it worse was that although you held him in your arms and he clung tightly to you, he kept struggling.  Most notably, he kept tensing up, going so rigid you thought he was going to snap in half, arching, rocking in place, thrashing wildly with his teeth grit painfully as he tried to keep any sounds from slipping through.

He didn’t succeed, though.  A gasp, a whimper, a choked off sob, whatever made its way through was always filled with pain, and you were certain that behind those tightly shut eyes he was on the very edge of crying.

You’d never seen him so vulnerable and in so much open pain.  As long as you’d known him, he’d always seemed unshakable, like anything could happen and he wouldn’t crack, even when he was starving.  Yes, you were old enough to realize the state he had been in when you first met him--by now you had seen pictures of starving people, and that was what Levi had looked like, and it was why he’d scarfed down all the food you’d given him back then without hesitation.  Now that you were older, you could look back and figure out his life was far from easy simply from context clues--him showing up with scrapes or bruises or even blood from fights, him being far more world aware than you, him not being familiar with basic luxuries, that one time he mentioned staying with some guy named Kenny wherever they managed to find somewhere to stay…

You had to tighten your grip as Levi thrashed rather violently, head leaned back to avoid getting elbowed in the process.  You could barely keep a grip on him with how much he was moving, and still he refused to open his eyes.  Panic rose in your chest as he only seemed to get worse, and you still had no idea what was happening.

Levi grunted, eyes fluttering open for the briefest of moments to reveal eyes that didn’t seem able to take in the forest or you, like he was looking past you at something else before they were tightly shut once more.  He let loose a sudden barrage of wild flailing to get free, momentarily breaking your grip before he started to choke on nothing--well, nothing that you could see.

It was your breaking point, and any and all sense of caution and rational left you as you desperately cupped his face in your hands, watching him struggle to breathe, struggle to move like something else was restraining him.

“Levi?  Levi, look at me--look at me, please!” you pleaded in the voice of the scared child you really were, a child in a situation you didn’t understand far out of your control.  He seemed to pale, and for a moment you had the wild thought he might die.

The sound that came out of you next wasn’t a scared child anymore.  It was like something...woke up inside you, seeing him in such a precarious state.

“Look at me, Levi!” you commanded in a voice full of an inner strength you hadn’t known you possessed.

*Levi’s POV*

Y/N’s voice suddenly cracked through all the chaos, a strong-spoken command that was filled with that same inner fire he’d glimpsed that day Kenny left.  With it, the chaos momentarily halted.  Up until now, one of the reasons he’d kept his eyes shut was because he was afraid he’d open them to see Y/N, but still be in the middle of the nightmare he was currently trapped in.  However, the force of her command immediately drew his attention, and for a few moments, the pain stopped being an immediate occurrence, he stopped choking, and he could hear birds, the rustle of trees, and Y/N’s trembling breaths.  He could feel her arms close to his body, her hands on his face, and he hesitantly opened his eyes to just see...her, with sunlight filtering from above through a canopy of trees.

It would have been a serene scene if it wasn’t for the reality of what was happening, and the fear that filled her eyes, showing him just how terrified she was of what she could see happening.

“Whatever’s happening,” she started in a voice that trembled despite the strength of her command a few seconds ago, “Please, Levi...make it stop.  I know you can, because you’re strong, so please...fight back.”

Gaze locked with hers, Levi felt...something spark hot inside him, something that was rapidly growing in strength and causing the tremble in his limbs to steady, his breathing evening out as he took a shaking breath.  As he let it back out, a sense of eerie calm settled over his mind, and he...he knew exactly what needed to be done.  Just like Kenny had described what felt like so long ago.

His life was at stake, and he needed to make this stop, to fight back so that he could live, so he could protect her.  That fear in her eyes…he didn’t want her to have to feel that fear.  She didn’t live like this, and he had an inkling that it hadn’t occurred to her what was happening despite all the signs pointing to the obvious.  She might not live like this, but that didn’t mean these threats weren’t still out there, and he needed to be able to keep her safe from them.

But in order to keep her safe, to make that fear go away, he had to get free and stop this nightmare before it could go any further.

And he knew how.

As that eerie calm settled deep inside him, that serene world disappeared once again, giving way to the pain, the dirt, and the suffocation on what was choking him.  This time, however, his mind was sharp and focused, and he spent no time hesitating as a strength greater than anything he’d known before coursed through his veins.

His head turned to the side as much as he could, and he bit down with full force, tasting blood as it gushed into his mouth.  Someone screamed, and as a little of the weight pressing him into the ground disappeared, Levi bucked backwards into the man behind him, body and the back of his skull cracking into his assaulter and sending them reeling as he violently wrenched free of the others still holding him.  He was moving like a wild, raging bull instead of the scrawny, pinned youth he’d been seconds before, and the details blurred as Levi acted on pure, unbridled instinct.

His fingers dug relentlessly into flesh, blood soaking his hands and mouth as he clawed and bit at anything that came too close, fists and feet flying through the air whenever there was an opening.  He was hot and uncomfortably sticky, but that detail disappeared from his mind as his hands found their way to a blade.  With the knowledge of what Kenny had taught him, and this new, knowing strength that coursed through his body, the small blade quickly found its way into flesh, carving, slicing, and striking fatal blows, Levi unfazed by the spray from a bloodier, slower death he gave the one who’d caused the majority of his pain, eviscerating him like Kenny taught him to in his frenzied attack.

Then came the quiet.  The haze of pure instinct that guided his attack started to fade, and the world around him started to come back into focus.  Every one of his attackers were dead, most cut open by his blade, at least one mauled by Levi’s teeth and hands as he’d fought to get a weapon.  The only one still alive was the one grasping at his opened belly and slowly bleeding out.  Blood covered Levi, which explained the hot and sticky sensation that he’d registered despite his haze.

With the moment of fighting clarity passing, Levi felt a tremble returning to his hands, and he suddenly found himself fallen to his hands and knees, body trembling as he retched, the realization of what had just happened to him started to sink in with the aftermath.  He struggled to force it all down, teeth grinding painfully together as he tried to wall it all in again and regain his senses.

He was so caught up in trying to contain himself again, he didn’t realize there was a breeze in his hair again, didn’t catch the scent of fresh air that would have told him that he wasn’t in the Underground anymore--he was with Y/N again.

But it didn’t register, because he was too concentrated on trying to cope, curled in on himself and trying not to vomit between the violent tremors.  He didn’t realize where he was or who he was with until he felt someone beside him, and he heard her saying his name softly, repeatedly, waiting for him to register her presence.  

Hesitantly, Levi raised his head, very aware of the fact he was soaked in blood and sweat and still sick.  So much for keeping her perfectly preserved in her little bubble.  Her eyes were wide and she was staring at him with a different kind of fear in her eyes.  For a moment, he feared she was going to leave him here, that she was going to bolt.  Instead, as his gaze met hers, the shadows of what he’d just endured still swimming in his eyes, she gently reached out and touched his back, her other arm reaching out to tenderly take his arm in her hand, helping him to stand.

He didn’t fight or argue or draw back.  He simply let her pull him along, guiding him out of the thicket and towards a path in the woods, his steps slow and awkward as the pain came back to the front of his mind, an aching reminder that wouldn’t leave him alone..

“Let’s get you home so you can get clean,” she told him softly, and Levi closed his eyes, leaning slightly against her shoulder as she continued to guide him, a deep relief in his heart over the fact she didn’t shy away from his blood soaked form, even if it had clearly scared her.  So far, it didn’t look like she was scared of him.

As they started walking along the path, Y/N took the jacket she’d had tied around her waist in case it got chilly and threw it over his head, also carefully taking off his jacket, turning it inside out in a feeble attempt to hide the bloodstains before tying it around his waist, using the jackets to try and hide the fact that he was covered in blood to draw less attention to themselves.  As such, they walked a little faster to try and get where they were going before they drew any attention.

In the back of his mind, Levi knew that this wasn’t the same forest from when they were younger, and he was able to recognize that this trip was taking a while simply to get back to the road.  How far from home had she been?  She hadn’t run away again, had she?  No, it definitely wasn’t that, she would have at least had a pack if she was running.

Eventually they found their way to the brown stone path and black stone street, Y/N getting subconsciously faster in her steps as they started to pass houses, her eyes scanning the surrounding area to keep an eye out for anyone who might spot them.  Neither of them spoke, perhaps both of them were too afraid to try and talk about what happened, perhaps they were both too focused on getting out of the public eye and within the safety of her home.

Eventually, she suddenly cut across a large stretch of green grass, her pace suggesting she wanted to break into a jog but she had become aware that Levi was walking funny and couldn’t run yet, not comfortably.  “My mom isn’t home--she’s at work right now, so we should be all right for a while,” she explained as she guided them up to a two story white wooden house, opening the first flimsy outwards door before stopping to get her keys, opening the heavier door to get them inside.

“Shoes by the door,” she told him, kicking off her own and putting them on the wooden shoe rack that was sitting on a rug a step or two from the door.  Levi complied wordlessly, not about to track mud and blood through the house.  Once his shoes were put up, Y/N’s hand dropped down to his, pulling him inside the new house.  He didn’t get the chance to register the surroundings much.  He knew they were going through the sitting room first, and there was a hallway they were turning into before they were heading up stairs.  Y/N pulled the jackets off of him as they went upstairs, and she pushed open another door, leading them into a washroom that looked nothing like Levi had ever seen.

At this rate, he was used to everything that was on the surface being far more advanced than what was underground, and he’d stopped being surprised when he didn’t recognize something while with Y/N.

Immediately, Y/N started rifling through cabinets, throwing the bloodied jackets into an empty basket before she washed any lingering blood off her hands, Levi’s eyebrows raising at the strange waterspout she used to clean up.  She pulled out a towel, setting it on the fancy toilet lid before pulling back the curtain to what he assumed was the bathtub.

“I suggest a shower,” she said, ushering him over to stand beside her so she could show him how it worked.  “This knob is the hot water, this is the cold.  Get it the temperature you want it to be, and then pull up on this silver piece here.  Just remember to push it back down when you’re done so the next person to use it doesn’t get surprised.  There’s the body wash, the scrubby, and hair wash.”

She turned back to face him, both of them uncomfortably close for a few seconds.  “Go ahead and put your clothes in the basket--I’ll wash them before Mom comes home, and find you something to wear in the meantime.  I’ll be in my room, it’s just down the hall on the opposite side,” she told him quietly before leaving him alone.

Levi turned back to the shower, peeling the bloodied clothes off himself and putting them in the basket as he’d been told before stepping into the tub and pulling the curtain, looking at the knobs for a few moments before he reached out with his bloodied hands and turned the hot water knob.

Water gushed out of the spout below him, cold at first before it rapidly heated up to something unbearable, and he quickly turned the cold water knob until it was more bearable.  When he finally pulled up on the silver piece as indicated, he jumped as the water stopped coming out of the spout and instead rained down on him from above, just as hot as the water from the spout.  After the initial shock wore off, he pushed his hair back from his face, putting a hand out to steady himself against the shower wall as he watched the water turn pink, then dark red...most of it wasn’t his blood, but some of it was.

Levi closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath as his hand pressed up against the wall turned into a fist and he leaned forward, a soft, strangled sound escaping him, trying not to think about it, which was almost impossible to do as blood was being washed from his body and that invasive pain was still prominent, like he could still feel it all happening.

While the water cleansed him of the physical filth, Levi struggled with his own mind, trying to catch his breath as he suddenly found it hard to keep steadily breathing, body shaking again as he tried to press it back down.  He started to fold again, leaning down into a crouch, hands formed into fists with his arms wrapped around his middle, trembling and mouth open in a silent...sob?  Scream?  He wasn’t sure.  He just knew he was in pain.

He heard the door to the bathroom open and his head snapped up, the shower water quickly erasing the tears that had been sliding down his cheeks as he watched a shadow moving around.

“It’s just me,” came Y/N’s voice.  “I’m just getting the dirty clothes.  There’s clean ones on the sink,” she told him, and after a bit more shuffling, she was gone as soon as she’d appeared.

Levi brushed the soaked hair out of his face again, shaking his head to get a grip on himself again as he reached for the washes she’d indicated, getting started on cleaning himself up, which would also give him a chance to take stock of his injuries.

He moved slowly, taking the time to make sure he was cleaned thoroughly, but also letting the hot water soothe his still trembling and tense body, using the time to regather himself so he didn’t keep scaring Y/N, who was already probably scared and worried out of her mind about him.

Of all the ways to one day find out about where he came from and how he lived, this was not what he had in mind.

Eventually, the water started to run cold no matter what he did, so he stopped the flow, getting the towel to dry off and staring into the large, perfectly clear mirror to take stock of himself and see how bad he looked.

He had bruises all over him from the thrashing they’d given him, but mostly around the lower body from the brutal treatment afterwards, and he found out he was still bleeding when he pulled the towel back and found some blood on it.  He still had the clammy, pale skin, though that might have been from the sickness he was still suffering from.  He had several cuts that had stopped bleeding, including one just below his lip and cuts from the glass bottle shattering around the side of his ribcage, but once he got dressed, Y/N would be none the wiser.  He could at least try to shield her from how badly hurt he’d been.

Pulling on the dark clothes she’d left for him on the sink and rearranging his hair, Levi stepped out of the washroom and headed down the rug-covered floor to the door she’d indicated.  Surely she wasn’t already done with laundry, was she?  All that blood, it would take a while to scrub it clean…

Levi pushed open the bedroom door, and was met with an unexpected sight.  Blankets were draped over the bed, chairs, dressers, and desk to form a large makeshift tent, held down with books and the like.  Y/N turned around when Levi entered, a timid smile cast his way as she stepped away from an assortment she had on a part of her desk that wasn’t taken up by the makeshift tent in the middle of her room.

"There, that's better," she mused as she walked up to him, a bottle of water in hand which she offered to him.

"What's with the tent?" Levi asked as he took the bottle from her, his voice coming out scratchy and hoarse.

"That, you'll have to go inside and find out.  But first…" she turned back to her desk, picking up a small glass bowl with ice cream in it, and something small that rattled when she picked it up.  "I got you some ice cream--just a little, since you said super sugary stuff doesn't sit well with you.  And I found some painkillers in the medicine cabinet downstairs."

Levi's head perked up at the word medicine. Of course--she was a surfacer. If anyone was going to have access to what he needed, it was going to be her.

"I've been sick for a little while. You wouldn't have anything for that, would you?" he asked.  She pulled back the rattling tiny bottle with a thoughtful frown, though still handed him the ice cream.  As much as it didn't seem like something you ate when you were sick, it was only a little, and it felt relieving against injuries like his split lip after the beating he'd received.

"What kind of sick?  Fever, cough, stomach ache?" She rattled off, reaching out to touch his forehead carefully. He was burning up with a fever--he had been for a while, now, not that he'd had the luxury to pay it much mind.

"Fever, headache, dizziness, weakness, chills," he listed off, watching her thumb swipe against the tiny bottle she still held.

"Well, this is aches and pains, fever, headaches...it kinda sounds like the flu.  You might just need rest for the other half…" she shifted from side to side, chewing on her lip before setting it down.  "You may just need one of those, but I'll see what else we have and if I have something better."

She left the room for a few moments, leaving Levi to find a spot he could sit down and eat his small bowl of ice cream while he waited, eyes still on the makeshift tent.  Once the ice cream was gone, he sat the bowl on the desk and got down on his hands and knees so he could crawl inside.

The texture of the ground beneath him changed, as crawling inside revealed that she had lined the entire interior of this tent with pillows and blankets, enough so that it was so soft inside he couldn't feel the hard ground.  Suddenly he was small again, wrapped up in the comfort and warmth of the nest she'd made him when they first met.

Crawling all the way inside, Levi found a spot he could comfortably lay down and stretch out, surrounded by soft security, sinking slightly into the fluffy blankets and pillows around him.  The utter exhaustion hit him now that he was in such a comfortable place, eyelids fluttering, drooping, almost drifting off…

Y/N returned, crawling into the tent as well, but with a couple things in tow as she wiggled her way up until she was lying directly across Levi, propped up on one arm.

"I couldn't find anything better than this, so we'll stick with the painkillers," she said with a sigh, pushing down on and then twisting the lid to open it and shaking a small white cylindrical thing onto her palm.  "One every twelve hours until you recover."

She handed him the little white thing and the water bottle.  "I'm assuming you've taken a pill before?"

"No."

She blinked, but showed no more outward surprise.  She just nodded.  "All right.  Well, you swallow them whole.  You use the water to make it go down easier," she explained.  Levi followed her instructions without hesitation, though he drank a bit more water after the pill went down.  "When I'm sick with the flu, Mom tells me its rest, fluids, and medicine for the symptoms."

As she spoke, Y/N grabbed a folded up blanket from a corner of the tent, unfolding it and then throwing it over Levi to cover him up entirely.  She was tucking him in like a child.  Normally, he'd protest--he wasn't a child, he hadn't been in a long time. But he knew what she was like.  She was stubborn, and she wouldn't listen to his protests.

Plus, he was too tired to argue. Tired from the sickness, from the chase and the fight, tired from the toll this whole nightmare had taken on him…

Something cool and damp was draped across his forehead, and Levi started to sit up.  "What are you--"

"It's just a washcloth," she reassured him, adjusting it so it would lay comfortably while he was lying down.  "It's something my mom used to do when I had a fever."

Levi swallowed, laying back down with his face covered by the blankets and pillows, feeling a burn in his eyes.

Come here, Levi.  It's all right, sweetheart.  You'll be alright by morning.

Y/N scooted a little closer.  "Levi?"  She waited until he hummed in acknowledgement to continue.  "Is it okay if I hug you?"

Levi considered it for a moment. He was sick, but she didn't seem worried about catching whatever he had.  Then again, she was on the surface where there was good medicine readily available.  A sickness like this might have been of no concern to someone who had medicine on hand to treat it.

That, or she was so concerned about him she'd stopped caring if she got sick or not.

"Okay," Levi finally answered in a quiet voice.

Y/N scooted even closer, an arm wrapping gingerly around him while the rest of her snuggled up close to his chest, warm, steady, and constant.  Her hand that was lying on his back rubbed gentle circles to comfort him and make him feel safe, the only sound between them the shifting of fabric and their steady breathing.

Before he fell asleep, Levi’s eyes opened just enough he could look down at Y/N, unable to see her face since it was buried in his chest, but still gazing at the top of her head.

What had he done to deserve someone like this in his shitty life?

AN:  Before anyone freaks out about the Ackerbond not being with Erwin, I’m kinda riding off the theory that yes Ackerman’s can have more than one bond.

Tags:   @humanitys-hottestsoldier​ @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie​ @tartheyes​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @huntersbunker​ @nefelimalfoy​ @soft-levi-girl-blog​ @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal​ @sugas-daddy7​ @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid​

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn​  

[finitepeace]

my this week’s reading

Syzygy (a Kludged Together remix) by Mizzy 

Summary: When Tony Stark cut Steve Rogers' morning jog short to join him on a reconnaissance mission off the East Coast, Tony sure wasn’t expecting to end up stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, Steve's hand knuckle-deep in his chest.

13k+ words, arc reactor problem, steve & tony on an adventure together, all these cuteness.. 

The Butterfly Effect by itsallAvengers 💙

Summary: While fighting with Loki, Steve Rogers from 2012 hears the two simple words: "Bucky's alive."

And the whole universe ripples with the aftershocks.

20,5k words, endgame fix-it, stony in alternate reality 

Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo

Summary: “Why do I always find my way back to you?”

Maybe Tony didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep.

After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.

79k words, post endgame, stony mending their relationship while living in countryside (so fights and anger are there) featuring morgan and peter! 

you'll wait a long time by nanasekei

Summary:

Steve and Tony share a moment during a wedding. Things escalate from there.

-

Alternatively: Four weddings, a funeral, and one very emotionally stunted idiot.

16,5k words. post end-game but everybody lives (and getting married). steve being frustrating with his feelings lol, tony flirts 

Second Chance Lives by raeldaza 💙

Summary: Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

44k words, Iron Man 2 but stony, Tony found Steve on ice and took him in, 

Haste by Veldeia

Summary: With Captain America seriously injured and a bomb attached to the Quinjet, set to go off at any change in speed or altitude, this is not the best flight the Avengers have ever had.

7,5k words, avengers on mission, injured steve and self-sacrificing tony, SPOILER: gnidne yppah 

'Til Death Do Us Part  by itsallAvengers

Summary: Steve goes on a mission. Steve dies on the mission. Or at least, SHIELD make everyone think he's died on the mission. In reality, he's alive and well, and still kicking ass.

If only someone had let his husband know that.

15,5k words, fake death so... angst for tony 

Unshattered by erde (orphan_account) 💙

Summary: It's really a split of a second, but for a moment there both of them remain in silence staring at each other, and it's a throwback to that moment in Siberia when a truce seemed more likely than shit hitting the fan.

Steve picks up the pieces from their relationship and tries to make them better. As the official tinker of things, Tony isn't happy with Steve's shoddy work. At first.

127k words in 19 chapters, civil war fix it continuing to IW and endgame, SPOILER: tony get shot,  gnidne yppah

Unveil My Unsightly Heart by Mizzy 💙

Summary: Looking over an old prototype helicarrier for its future viability as a base for the Avengers should have just been a routine day full of bickering and non-adventure for Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

But when they're catapulted into an alternate universe – where their alternate selves are married and battling with a mysterious threat – the two are forced to get over their differences in order to figure out what's going on, before it's too late.

Because there's more going on than meets the eye, and Steve and Tony falling in love might just be the most dangerous thing that can happen. Not just for one universe, but for all of them… [Iron Man 3-compliant.]

43k words in 3 chapters, stony journeyed to alternate reality where they are VERY MUCH in love and married, angst but SPOILER  gnidne yppah

Lost in Transcription by Veldeia

Summary: In a world recently turned upside down by the discovery of genetic markers for soulmates, Steve and Tony struggle to come to grips with their unexpected, unasked-for match.

25k words, story spanning from steve in ww2 to civil war so.. a bit of civil war fix-it?, heartbroken tony 

For You, Sir, Always (The Fairy Godfather Remix) by Veldeia

Summary: Unable to find a replacement for the toxic palladium core of his arc reactor, Sir has gone into cryostasis to wait for a day when science has advanced enough to provide a solution. While he is indisposed, it is my all-important task to decide when that time has arrived, and to select the person who shall bring him back to life.

9,4k words, Jarvis POV, Jarvis being super loyal, steve is not captain america when stony met. 

Presenteeism by Veldeia

Summary: Tony thinks piloting the armor remotely while letting the others believe he’s wearing it is a good plan, until he realizes he’s not hung over, but actually quite ill.

Steve thinks something’s off with Tony today, but he has no clue what that might be, and since Tony says he’s good to go, they’ll proceed with the mission anyway.

(Basically, that trope where Tony is sick but is too stubborn to admit it, with a slight twist. Fill for my Stony bingo prompt “armor”.)

9,5k words in 2 chapters, it’s all in the summary.