#but this bitch is really pissing me off rn

[josie-and-the-pussycats-2001]

full offence but all the people clamouring for reeve to quit hadestown are pissing me off so much, like y’all really care about actors huh, wanting an actor to quit their job in a highly competitive industry during a fucking ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike, like if y’all don’t understand how bad it is rn for a privileged cishet white actor like reeve then i can’t imagine any of y’all talking like this can extend any empathy towards actors in far worse positions then him rn showing your fucking asses fr

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

[orcelito]

Noooooo fucking sense of cooperative spirit anymore lmfao

Sure I'll stay until half an hour after close when u clock out 14 mins after close 🥰 no problem! Oh, you threw out all the towels despite the fact that I wasn't done with mine? Well haha noooooo problem, none at all. I'll just leave the counters less than perfect for you opening bc u seem to have decided it was good enough! 🥰

[dreadsuitsamus]

i'm so tired lmfao tired of always having to be the one to do things so it's done right and then tired of people wondering why i'm so fucking controlling and particular. bc since i'm the only one that actually gives a damn then i want it done my way!!!!

[rival-the-rose]

I have. So much bitching to do

[cynical-ghost]

more platonic grid x reader, we say in unison ! i love how chaotic reader is and you’re so fucking funny 😮‍💨 please and thank you !

DANCING QUEEN

Pairing: Platonic Grid x fem!driver!reader

Genre: Smau- social media, chaos…

Warning(s): use of Yn, foul language?

Synopsis: It’s Yn’s 17th birthday…

A/n: This is for you Nonnie🫶 I’m so glad you liked my other platonic grid fics! I was listening to ABBA and my writing block was cured. Thank you ABBA, we say in unison🤭

Ynforeal

Liked by Maxverstappen1, Charles_Leclerc, Oscarpiastri and 1,974,263 others

Ynforeal winning while hungover is one for the books! 🏆🍾

Alpinef1team change the caption. (management made me write that, 17 and hungover looks good on you gurllll 🫶)

Ynforeal I will (I’m not gunna, Thankssss girllll!!)

Motheryn WELL DONEEE, happy birthday for yesterday!!!!!!

User15 does anyone know what Yn did for her birthday??

Landonorris you don’t wanna know…

User15 now I wanna know even more…

Oscarpiastri 🤫

Maxverstappen1 Congrats 🍾

Ynforeal I can feel your enthusiasm through my screen Maximilian😒

Maxverstappen1 👍

Landonorris YEHDNDB WELL DONE GIRL CONGRATULATIONS!!!! 🙌🍾🏆🥳

Ynforeal THANKY YOU LANDONNNNN

Landonorris Take notes @/maxverstappen1

Maxvertappen1🫡

Charles_Leclerc 🍾 one for the books indeed Yn, proud of you for not throwing up in your helmet!! 😂

Ynforeal thank you Charlie! It was a very close call but then I realised I couldn’t see max in my mirrors and wanted to piss him off 😂

Maxverstappen1 what, is it ‘hate on Max Verstappen, three time Wdc, day’ 🧐

Ynforeal had to put the titles in didn’t you. Did it make you feel better?

Maxverstappen1 yes, yes it did👍

Landonorizzz anyone got pics of Yns birthday?

Ynforeal Posting them later, couldn’t post them before the race otherwise I could have been disqualified 😂

Landonorizzz OMFGSJSBD SHE REPLIED TO MEEE OMFBE

Ynforeal I REPLIED JEBDJSKSNSB SO HAPPY DOR YOU HDHSJS

Landonorris

Liked by Ynforeal, Oscarpiastri, Carlosainz55 and 984,892 others

Landonorris HAPPY 17th TO MY MAIN BITCH 🥂💸🤩

Ynforeal YASSSS JFBSBDJS VOTTA FEED MY BABY

Landonorris 🍼🍼🍼

User15 BIRTHDAY POSTS! I RÉPÈTE BIRTHDAY POSTS ARE POASTING RN AJBDAN

User12 These we definitely already made and were waiting to be posted

Landonorris you are correct! we have a bet that whoever doesn’t post their birthday draft they have to pay up 💰💰

Maxverstappen1 how many cakes did you have in the end Yn?? 😂

Ynforeal 3 in total, one family friendly one from my family, one from my crew, and one from you guys🎂🍰🧁

Maxverstappen1 🐖 <- you

Ynforeal 🐍 <- you

Maxverstappen1 😱

Ynforeal you little snake 🐍 shshsshshhs

Maxverstappen1 oink oink teef (bitch)

User56 I’m new do Yn and max hate Each other or something? They seem close irl but their comments say a different story.

Motheryn they have a sibling dynamic, that monstrosity is how they show their love for each other 😂😂

User56 oh thank goodness😂😂

Maxverstappen1

Liked by Ynforeal, Charles_Leclerc, yourbff and 2,463,643 others

Maxverstappen1 HAPSPY FKINWSG BRTHDAY SISTAAA, HWO DO YOU TRN CAPITSL LTTERS OFF, thnk you birthday batch🫶💕💸💰🥳

Ynforeal I KNEW YOU LIVED ME MAXAMILLIAN !! You are deffo regretting getting pissed last night, how are you feeling about this?

Maxverstappen1 never speak of this again, I didn’t want lando to win the bet 🙄

Ynforeal uh hu, never letting you live this one down Maxine👍

Maxverstappen1😀

User23 is this actually happening rn, how drunk was max last night 😂😂

Landonorris I think this tops my birthday post🤣🥲

Maxverstappen1 tAkE NoTeS @/Landonorris

Landonorris my own words used against me 🔪❤️

Redbullracing Your 3 time world champion everybody 👏

Yourbff max you should get drunk more often 😂

Ynforeal IKR!!! He’s a big softy really 🤭

Maxvertappen1 😑

Ynforeal

Liked by Maxverstappen1, landonorris, yourbff and 3,158,321 others

Ynforeal 17 DANCING QUEEN JSHDHDKAN MAXIE KS FUCKED, I said I wanted to go carting but all we had was trollies 🛒😂😂💸🍾🎂

Landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDYA

Yourbff My beautiful bestie yasssss

Ynforeal luv youuuu 🫶

Yourbff 🤭❤️

Maxverstappen1 I can’t deny it 🙂

Ynforeal 🥂🍾🍺🍻🍷🍸🥃🍹<- you

Maxverstappen1 🛒🎉🥳🎂🎁🎈🎊<- you

[chappellroansdreamgirl]

ellie with a mean gf!

(prjoecting like a mf rn...)

a/n - i have been very unmotivated to write full-fleshed stuff so i'm deciding to write drabbles/headcannons for now. also THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ATTENTION ON CH.1 OF GOOD LUCK, BABE! it makes my heart smile that you guys love it so much... also😭😭...: @sweetcici11 srry that i lied and said ur fic would be out a few nights ago. i'm really trying to finish it but i don't want to rush it and it be shitty. i really want it to be enjoyable and as good as it can be. but i PROMISE you it WILL be posted... sooner or later! i also have a few more drafts to finish too, so, i hope you guys like them when they come out!!!!!

content warnings - fluff, i'm a bitch and i want to feel loved and think that someone can put up with my cuntiness😝😝 , over-usage of commas probably, i think they're low-key kind of toxic?!?!?!?! , guys i promise i'm not this bad i've just been pretty insufferable these last few days and need an outlet 😭😭 .

i wrote way more than i thought i was going to...

------------------------------------------------------------

- you both hated each other at first. ...well actually, you hated her, and she was like, "😞😞" and then got used to it after a while and started being mean back 2 u!!

- dina introduced ellie to you when you both were hanging out with her. "you guys are going to love each other🥰!" ... you didn't 🤗 !

- ellie said hi to you and all you did was look her up and down, stare at her for a few seconds and then turn your head.

- everytime ellie would (attempt to) strike up a conversation you would give an overtly enthusiastic response or just stare at her like she had two heads or just blatantly ignore her. dina is over there like, '😟😟 . can we not have one good day...' when dina would leave for short periods of time and ellie was sure that you didn't like her, she would just talk about anything to get your blood boiling, our girl lllloooovvveessss to push buttons, we know this to be true.

- it got worse yet more tolerable after that. whenever she'd see you at gatherings or parties, you'd do your damnest to stay away from/avoid her. and she'd do her damnest to get you as upset with her as possible. it always ended with not-so-playful not-so-friendly banter!

- you were talking with jesse about something on the couch, and ellie came over and DELIBERATELY, DELIBERATELY... interrupted you 🤗 ! :

you shoot daggers at her face with your eyes, your jaw set hard and your eyes narrowed.

ellie tried to feign innocence, raising a brow at you after she looked over to see your facial expressions long after she felt them.. "what are you looking at me like that for🤨🤨?" , "i was fucking talking, you're being rude." , "if i have to get used to you being a bitch, you got to do the same." , you just huffed at her response and crossed your arms before walking off a few minutes after, realizing that the conversation you were having with jesse earlier was indeed over. ellie smirked to herself, victory was her's!

- she started calling you the nickname brat out of the blue... it blindsided tf out of you. here's the origin story!:

you look at ellie with a disgusted look on your face as she exhales smoke. her glazed over eyes meet yours before she offers the joint to you, out of genuine kindness. "want a hit?" she asked, forgetting how much of a bitch you were for, like, 0.2 seconds. you glare at her for a moment longer before plastering a sarcastic smile on your face, snatching the joint from her fingertips and dropping it onto the floor. you kept her eyes on yours as you stomped and smushed it into the ground.

now she remembered.

she stood up instantaneously, she was pissed. "what the fuck?!" she shouted, earning a few looks from some friends across the room. they strained their necks for a little bit before they saw you, it made sense now, and then turned back to the conversation.

you close your eyes for a slight second as a satisfied smile graced the corners of your lips. "you know i don't smoke, ellie." you responded with in a condescendingly sweet voice.

she didn't even argue with you. "you're such a fuckin' brat." she muttered under her breath before walking away. you had to try your very best to ignore the heartbeat in your pussy. (🤗!)

- she didn't get to see how much effect that title had on you that night, but she noticed afterwards.

- one time you didn't say anything to ellie during a hangout, distracted by someone you disliked more than her. ellie kind of missed it☹️☹️ .

you were brought out of your thoughts when you felt her cold hand touch your shoulder. when you noticed it was her who was doing it, you pulled back with a furrow of her brows. ellie smiled. there she was.

"you haven't said one mean thing to me since i've gotten here. are you dying?"

you scoffed as you pointed in the direction your anger was radiating from. it was a girl ellie saw here and there in jackson, sometimes she was paired with her during patrols, she wasn't crazy about her but she paid no mind to her existence.

"what?- what does this have to do with me-"

"what it has to do with you, is that you should feel honored that i can tolerate you... can't fuckin' stand that bitch."

ellie scoffed before speaking up once more, "oh, c'mon you're being dramatic. don't be a brat."

your eyes went wide for a second and as you turned away, she could see the cheek that was facing her turn an embarrassing shade of red. she found your weakness.

- when you guys started dating, no one, and i mean NO ONE, believed it. (i don't feel like writing how u two got together maybe if y'all like this enough i'll make a full-fleshed oneshot abt it😭.)

- joel saw you guys together... like, not arguing, and HER head on YOUR shoulder... he thought he got laced with acid for a quick second there... jesse felt like he missed a couple chapters and felt very sad that he hadn't caught onto it quicker... and dina was so proud of herself, "told you, you guys would love each other 😁." she's so smug, I LOVE HER!

- she constantly has to reprimand you like you're a child when you guys are around someone you obviously don't like for whatever reason. once whoever left the room, ellie'll pinch your shoulder or your thigh, whatever skin is on display at the moment, not too hard, just to get you to wince a bit. you'll make a face at her afterwards. "ow, what the fuck was that for ellie?" , "we can talk shit when we get home, don't make a scene🙄." you stress her out sometimes...

- just bcs you guys are together DOES NOT mean your attitude has gone away.

whenever ellie and you have gotten in an argument, you're always being extra sarcastic and EXTRA BITCHY just to get on her nerves.

"baby, have you seen my gun?" she asks you, breaking the silence voluntarily as she's two minutes from being late to patrol.

you don't look up to her, you keep on looking at the pages of an old magazine. "idk ellie, did you check to see if it was shoved up your ass."

she just stands there for a second like this 🧍‍♀️ , before sighing and walking somewhere else to find it. "i'll fuckin' deal with you later." she mutters under her breath, obviously annoyed. you smirk to yourself as you flip another page.

- she does love, however, that you've gotten gentler with her since the relationship blossomed between you two. very few people (dina and ellie... sometimes jesse.) can get you to stop, and ellie is proud of herself that she could add beast-tamer to the top of her list of many skills and talents.

- sometimes she has to calm you down, sometimes all it takes is a stare in your direction. ... well, it's oftentimes a glare... you're your own woman/person and a relationship will not restrict you from showing off your talents!!!!!

- ellie has to constantly keep you from getting into arguments that could harm you physically. although your craft of bitchery is amazing, you can't fight to save your life.

she'll be pulling you back like an angry barking dog on a leash.

"i could've fucking took h-" , "you overestimate yourself a lot, baby."

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 , 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

summary , being forced to go to a gp was not something on Y/N's 2023 bingo card but who knows maybe she will create a friendships that could help her thought this tough time

pairing , step dad! lewis hamilton x fem! young teen! reader

pervious part | series masterlist | main masterlist | f1 masterlist | lewis hamilton masterlist | next part

MOTHER Lewis has got us VIP tickets to the Australian gp Isn't that exciting!

Y/N but I have an archery comp on that weekend

MOTHER dw about it I've pulled you from the comp you can do the next

Y/N are you fucking kidding me you pulled me from a comp to go watch you boyfriend's race what the fuck?!?!?!

MOTHER language young lady first of all he my fiance and he is gonna be your step father soon

Y/N he is not gonna be my anything as far as I'm concerned and the only way I am going is if you drag me there kicking and screaming so fuck you

MINJI babe where is u at?

Y/N @ the Aussie Gp 💀 ... girl don't u remember me telling you guys about this 🙄

HANNI We do but your mom just called asking if we knew where you were 😭😭

Y/N wtf would you guys know where I am 😐

DANIELLE cuz aparently she can't find you and she thinks you are trying to catch a flight out of the country to avoid spending time with her and lewis 🫣

Y/N tf is this bitch on? I would never put that much effort into her let that be know first and for most 😝 second of all I'm hanging out with Max and Daniel 😌 so dw I'm not trynna skip town 😔

HAERIN Max and Daniel? as in like Red Bull's drivers Max and Daniel as in like Mad Max 😡 and big dick Danny ric 🤠

Y/N ew 🤢🤢🤮🤮 never say that again 🚫 but yes that would be them 👍

MINJI ... proof or it never happened 👀

Y/N

happy now?

HANNI okay but how did you even meet?

Y/N walked off to have a smoke and ran into them and started talking

DANIELLE ain't your mom gonna be pissed though?

Y/N why?

HAERIN cuz your created a better bond with Max and Daniel then what you have with Lewis

Y/N tbh I don't really fucking care Lewis seems like an alright guy ngl but I don't like how my mother is forcing me to spend time with him it's awkward and weird escpially since my dad is refusing to answer my calls or texts and everytime a ask my mother about it she says "maybe he is busy sweetheart" and "well look at it this way it will be the perfect opportunity to bond with Lewis" so yeah I have 0 shits to give rn anyway I need to go time for the race max says I can watch in the red bull garage

NANA (EX WIFE) my plan isn't working I thought by forcing you to stay away Y/N and Lewis could bond but I think she hates him more now

JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) no shit sherlock btw I'm coming to pick Y/N up this weekend she staying at my house till she has to go back to school

NANA (EX WIFE) is that bitch gonna be there?

JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) yes my girlfriend is going to be there and I am going to show you the correct way of introducing your kid to your new partner and that starts by telling them the truth about why you marriage ended in the first place and since you refuse to tell her I will read

[quickstappen]

track 004: the see is calm (before the storm)

A/N: i know i've disappeared for a while but it turns out that second year of college is very different to the first. now finally after two months i've got it under control so hopefully we'll have a semi-regular schedule for now, i'll try to post something every two weeks (on weekends most likely). anyway, this one's not very plot heavy but it's needed for the story, enjoy!

masterlist | previous next

liked by carlitosalcarazz, oscarpiastri and others

paola_sainz contrary to popular belief, I do actually work sometimes ;) keep your eyes open guys, things are getting done here

tagged: sean_cliff

see all comments...

F4ST_C4R oh please say its a new collection, i was too late for the 1st one and it sold out 😭

oui_lyanne who the fuck is sean

↳ 4ND1 from what i can see he's another designer

↳ oui_lyanne ooh, collab maybe? 👀

↳ f1w1tch OR the super secret boyf

L3CH41R well, looks like she's not in spa after all

mcwilliams are you gonna comment on the williams/carlos announcement??

↳ prplsector i mean,, why would she?? it's not her announcement, she's got a job

lightning_enjyr oh my god are those pieces from the new collection?? 😳

danielricciardo Respect the grind 💪🤠

↳ sadiebull sorry what is daniel ricciardo doing

↳ fastkiwi trying to relate to the youth lol

shithappens oh god women in suits 😳

STARG3N guys,,, what is carlos alcaraz doing in the likes

↳ hamilteaa the tennis player???

↳ STARG3N yeahhh

sean_cliff you know it's always a pleasure working with you 🤭

↳ paola_sainz oh I know, I am brilliant of course

↳ elmatadorf1 jesus what a self-centred bitch 💀

predestined55 no one's gonna buy this crap anyway 🐍

carlitosalcarazz We need to play again sometime! 🎾

↳ paola_sainz do your job at the Olympics first, then we'll see 👏

↳ isawthesainz THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???

↳ dutchlion sure looks like it 👀

oscarpiastri You gonna spend the whole summer break working too?

↳ paola_sainz actually no, this one guy invited me to visit his family you know

↳ oscarpiastri Lucky guy

↳ lightning_enjyr oui_lyanne surely you see my point now

↳ oui_lyanne everyday i am closer to believing you

view more...

paola's messages:

paola_sainz posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: a little pitstop before our journey ;)

caption 2: mid-rant and a little drunk but he's fine, alive and well

⟶ alex_albon replied to your story!

alex_albon oh thank god you're with him, he hasn't been answering my calls and texts

paola_sainz yeahh, we figured. me and Osc are with him rn but we have to leave in the morning

alex_albon shit, how is he really? do you seriously have to leave?

paola_sainz he's better than yesterday, mostly pissed atp but I'm sure that the self-hatered and misery will come soon

paola_sainz and yeah we have to, we've been trying to visit Oscar's family together for ages

paola_sainz I think he's going home for the rest of the break

alex_albon jesus, that's good at least

alex_albon I'll try to reach out again

paola_sainz good idea

caption 3: couldn't take this little guy home, apparently "2 is enough cats Lola"

⟶ maxverstappen1 replied to your story!

maxverstappen1 I think you should've taken him anyway, he is very cute

paola_sainz I knoww! I named him Barron Meowmilton

paola_sainz unfortunately, I do not fancy sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future so we left Barron at a local shelter ;)

maxverstappen1 Ah, I understand

maxverstappen1 We'll always remember you, Barron Meowmilton

caption 4: and we're off to see the future in-laws ;)

⟶ hattiepiastri replied to your story!

hattiepiastri has my brother done something we don't know about??

paola_sainz nahh, dw about it, you'd be first to know after your mum

paola_sainz I'm just sure I'm gonna marry him someday, there's no other option

hattiepiastri you're both so disgustingly gone for each other it should be studied

hattiepiastri can't wait to see you though

paola_sainz girll me too, it's been too long

paola's messages:

liked by jensonbutton, hattiepiastri and others

paola_sainz can confirm that kitties are just as cute down under as in the rest of the world ;)

see all comments...

shithappens paola talking about cats at all times? fork found in kitchen

arthur_leclerc did you try to take the cat home?

↳ oscarpiastri take a wild guess mate

↳ paola_sainz don't know what you're talking about mate

↳ oscarpiastri I have a feeling that you're gonna grossly overuse mate now

↳ paola_sainz now why would I do that... mate 😇

barbiegirl what are you doing in Australia girllll

elmatadorf1 thank god she's not going home with Carlos, he doesn't need her 🐍

jensonbutton Come back in one piece please

↳ paola_sainz don't you worry about that Jense, I am well taken care of ;)

oui_lyanne yeah okay she's actually in australia

charles_leclerc You're right, that's a very cute kitty

lightning_enjyr did you buy any new records?

oscarpiastri Have you seen the sights yet?

↳ paola_sainz not really, my tour guide has been kinda busy

↳ oscarpiastri That's a shame, there's a lot of great things to see

↳ paola_sainz don't worry mate, I've been looking at different kind of sights plenty enough, lot of beach days yk? I can wait a few more days 😉

↳ oscarpiastri Oh, well in that case 🫢

prplsector oscar is brave fr, I'll give him that 😳

4ND1 god the tension is this comment section is something else

ada_moore if Oscar's not the boyfriend and I was the boyfriend I am straight up fighting that man in some dark alley because that is so flirty and for what (if he IS the boyfriend, carry on please, the energy is unmatched)

L3CH41R how are her outfits always so good???

predestined55 Carlos just signed a contract and she's talking about cats and being a slut in the comments, great 😒

view more...

hattiepiastri posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: did you know, we're killer on karaoke nights?

caption 2: doing all this late night talking

caption 3: we're keeping her oscarpiastri, if you don't wife her up I will

⟶ oscarpiastri replied to your story!

oscarpiastri You don't have to worry about that

paola_sainz posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: g'day mate! celebrity crush meet up officially checked out from my wishlist

caption 2: the locals showing me the best ice cream places in town

caption 3: hands that have never seen manual labour

⟶ oscarpiastri replied to your story!

oscarpiastri hey!

paola_sainz you're offended like it's not true

caption 4: bad bitch on the beach

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and others

paola_sainz most unexpected crossover of the year? maybe not as unexpected as you think! me and Robert did some cool things this week and I got to meet some sweet pets, I might not come back from 'Straya

see all comments...

N3CKSTRI excuse me- Robert Irwin and Paola Sainz in one place? i might actually die

prplsector spain's sweetheart with australia's sweetheart, way too cute

dutchlion can someone actually explain to me how people can hate her? if you don't like her content just stop looking at it, but actually hating on her?? can't imagine

robertirwinphotography It was good to finally see you! The animals already miss you

↳ paola_sainz oh god please don't say that, I'll cry for real 😭 I miss them too

shithappens i dunno, i still think it's pretty unexpected

fastkiwi the way this isn't even the wildest thing she's done this season 😳

predestined55 can you like rot in hell now? two faced bitch 🐍

barbiegirl they'd look sooooo goooood together

↳ zoebryne_x ik right??

logansargeant Is zookeeper next on the cv?

↳ paola_sainz you're laughing but I'd be an amazing zookeeper

↳ logansargeant Who told you that? I wouldn't trust them, you'd end up taking all the animals home

↳ paola_sainz Robert said I'd do great!

↳ logansargeant I think that's just his job, plus he's too nice to tell you the truth

↳ paola_sainz you're mean, see if I bring you gifts when I get back

4ND1 can I meet Robert Irwin now??

oscarpiastri Still looking at sights?

↳ paola_sainz why, you jealous mate?

↳ oscarpiastri Don't worry, just curious

lightning_enjyr are they even trying to hide it atp???

elmatadorf1 can she just injure sth since she's playing tennis so much? maybe then we'd get a break from her stupid face 🤢

↳ STARG3N you guys are literally insane what the hell

madi_races every time i open the comment section i get whiplash, on twt everyone is trying to figure out who the boyfriend is, the press is eating this all up, people are placing bets and here is oscar just shamelessly flirting, it's like a different universe

arthur_leclerc I'm coming with you next time

↳ paola_sainz ditch Charles and come here then

hammertime_1 guys i really don't think Oscar's the boyfriend, she's just way out of his league

isawthesainz jesus she's so cringe, excuse me while i throw up

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paola's messages:

NETHERLANDS 2024

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant and others

oscarpiastri And we're back 👍 break at home was good but it's nice to be racing again

see all comments...

laile_f1 he's never beating the calm cat allegations

catstri81 that is the most oscar caption to ever caption

maximumformula he's doing the dad pose 😭

4ND1 i can't with him 😭 he's just a guyy

chat_withmani ohh he's posted the girlfriend!!

elmatadorf1 i can't believe he still has a seat

↳ prplsector can you guys stop being fucking petty for a minute

paola_sainz so did the girlfriend like it in the down under mate?

↳ oscarpiastri Yeah, since she's now best friends with my sister I'm pretty sure she did mate 🙄

↳ paola_sainz what, you jealous of your sister?

↳ oscarpiastri She basically stole my girlfriend

lestappen116 he looks so happy 😭

fastkiwi it was good to see you back at home

landonorris Let's go mate! Good weekend 👍

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paola's messages:

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DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D) (old)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[orcelito]

Well I did my best to contain the leak, banged on the walls until my hands started to hurt, rambled with increasing hysteria about how fucking Bullshit this is, and Now I think I'm gonna go back to sleep.

Because it's 6 Goddamned am. Not even dawn yet. And I have to work in a few hours :)

[moongreenlight]

GIRLIE PLS I NEED MORE YOUNG HOUSEWIFE x PRICE 😭😭

Instead of starting every ask response with “sorry it took me so long to get to this I suck” I’m just going to issue a blanket statement that I have like 45+ asks in my inbox rn and I get so overwhelmed looking at them that I just ignore them until I need to write something. I love you all for messaging me I love hearing your ideas and compliments please don’t stop sending them just bear with me as I sift through them. <3

Also- I got legit death threats on my first post like this. I’d like to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that this is a LEGAL AGE GAP. It’s not grooming, it’s not predatory, it’s ENTIRELY LEGAL. You’re early twenties. He’s mid-to-late-thirties. Please do not bite my head off.

Anyway I’m back on my Price and his young housewife bullshit below the cut. Xoxoxo

Here’s the OG post if you need a refresher

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

There’s this scene in the MW3 campaign where Price and Farah are talking about where she got the missiles from and he’s trying to shoulder up with her, but she just shuts him down in the end. (Like always I hope you’ll trust me. Implicitly) (John Price the man that you are!!!!!!) and I really think that’s the household dynamic. He’s always the biggest in the room, but he’s got this incredible reverence and respect for women who can out-bitch him. Bends his rigid spine BACKWARDS for you. Would move mountains if you’d only ask.

Doesn’t always have to be serious things. Like maybe you’ve made friends with some moms in the neighborhood (it’s a point of pride for him that they’re all minimum 5 years older than you.) and they all go to this obscenely expensive Pilates class at six in the morning. You mention in passing that you’re signing up and the suburban white dad in him makes his ears perk.

“‘N how much ‘s this class going to cost me?”

“Dunno. Think it just goes on the account.”

“Course. Gym membership doesn’t cost enough as it is.”

And then all it takes is him seeing you in a matching workout set for all of his protest to die down. For SURE makes a comment about how he ‘didn’t know it’d be this worthwhile’

Loosely following that point, I think any real arguments get hostile very quickly. He’s not so egotistical that he won’t apologize, but I’m certain that it’s like pulling teeth to get him to that point. He can hold a grudge unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Borders heavily on immature when the two of you are in the thick of things. Starts shit just to start shit. (Secretly because he just loves makeup sex. Would rather eat you out until you’re sobbing than actually say the words “I’m sorry.”)

Having thoughts about him bringing you to some military ball. The both of you dressing up and sliding into the car that was sent for you just to sit on opposite ends of the backseat and not speak a single word. He burns through a cigar in record time and you toss back a few glasses of champagne. You both put on appearances getting out of the car. Hook your hand around his bicep while he shoves you inside with his hand on the small of your back. Hissing nasty quips back and forth about making this quick. Few hellos. Show your faces and then you can get home and get away from each other. Putting on appearances only goes so far, though, because when John is pissed- everyone feels it. Sucks the life out of a room and replaces it with an eerie feeling like a bomb’s about to go off.

He leaves you alone with a few other wives. Pulled away by Laswell with a promise of a ‘quick’ meeting. He comes back half an hour later fuming when he sees that somehow you’ve been pulled away from where he left you and found company chatting with his boys at the bar.

He gruffs some greetings before dragging you away by the arm so roughly that you have to stifle a yip.

“Are we leaving?”

“No.”

“So what is it, John? You’re making everyone think we’re miserable.”

“We are miserable.”

He’s yet to stop yanking you away. You have to do an awkward half-jog to follow him down a short hallway just outside the washrooms.

“Christ, would you just-“

“You look like a slag in that dress.”

He about throws you straight into the corner at the end of the hall. Muscles in his jaw ticking under the force that he’s using to grit his teeth.

“Sorry?”

His lips are brushing the shell of your ear. Bullying you further back into the wall. You’re entirely taken aback by his ferocity; especially because he usually prefers you wear something much more revealing than this. Some twisted point of pride, him seeing all the men your age drooling over you even after knowing you’re on his arm.

“Ought to let the boys pass you around. See if that won’t sort out that fucking attitude of yours.”

Theres some more protest from you, but it was entirely useless given how worked up he was. He ends up making good on his threat and shoving you into Ghost’s side when he brings you back out. He says something, but you can barely hear it over the blood rushing in your ears. Though you assume it’s a half-warning, half-explanation by the way Ghost snakes an arm loosely around your waist and gives a sharp nod. You get off relatively easy all things considered because Ghost is the only one smart enough not to take Price’s words at face value and sneak you away to some coat closet. That’s a permission granted only when John was present and in his right mind.

I cannot stress enough how much it gets him off to see you pregnant. Not like sexually, but he is nothing if not a glutton when it comes to feeding his ego. Likes it when you wear shirts that hug your swollen belly tight so he can see exactly how much your body is changing. Even better if they’re crop-tops that show off the skin that’s now littered with stretch-marks from growing his babies.

I have been saying this, but just to make it clear, he wants a small army of children. Like enough to have one of those trashy reality TV shows about how many kids you have. (In reality I’m getting 4/5 kids in total vibes) Loves coming home from work and seeing you carefully stirring a big pot on the stove while bouncing a baby on your hip, pulling a clingy toddler around on your leg, and situating your school-aged kids with their homework at the table.

But he most definitely hires a live-in nanny to help you out. Knows it’s not fair to leave you with that kind of responsibility. But also it just makes him so hot to see you mothering his kids that he needs to be able to take you away and not have to scramble to find something to occupy the kids.

Makes the nanny take over bath time more often than not so the two of you can take a bubble bath yourselves. He loves the casual intimacy of pouring two glasses of wine and having thirty or forty minutes to yourselves.

Having this visual of you before you’ve started having kids sitting in the tub after being strangely quiet all night. He offers you a heavily-poured glass of red and you’re a little glassy-eyed and staring up at him but making no move to take it.

“You alright, doll?”

“Mm?”

“Said you alright? Don’t want a drink?”

A long moment of silence from you. Long enough for him to perch on the rim of the tub and gently tip you up to look at him by putting a few fingers under your chin.

“John, I think I’m pregnant.”

“So no drink, then.”

[hg-aneh]

Yo, I don't know if you know this but your work is being posted on Pinterest

I sort of knew but never really cared about it until now-?

-lots of angry feed up whining below... and a bit of a breakdown-

Just a few hours ago I saw the comments on some of them and holy shit tiktok children are some of the most braindead individuals i have ever seen

I'm fine with reposts, and if I wasn't, I know I wouldn't be able to stop them

What's pissing me off rn is that my stuff is getting attention from *that* crowd, the booger eating snot nosed mocosos de mierda who are so privileged their main problems are "what's skrimblo skromblo doing now? omg is it problematic??? omg theyre like so evil 💀💀"

I- they're still fucking going with the Crowriel thing- How cool, how fun, totally not making me want to disappear again bc of all the trauma from that particular mess, nope, not at all

And the angel crowley x demon crowley thing- i swear to fucking god i- they're so dumb- they're so stupid- how is it incest you- they're the same person🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉

I even saw some little shit saying "omg i used to like that artist until i found out they draw nsfw" ... WHAT IS HAPPENIGNJDNGKDBG??????¿?¿¿????¿

I swear I'm going insane, I wish I could take my shit away from those people, they're so-??????

Like I'm legit about to enter another joker era, I can't believe this is what fandom spaces are now, what is wrong with people

Sorry I'm using this as a vent post or whatever but honestly I'm tired of being subservient when it comes to these fucking people, at one point a bitch has gotta explode

"Why do you care so much about what ppl say abt you online"

Because I have Seen what happens when you shut up about it. You either address it indirectly or become tiktoklovr103892's punching bag, there's no in between. Each second of silence is an admission of guilt for these motherfuckers

And I know that at the end of the day it doesn't matter but bro just allow me to be emotional over having an online space where I can have fun and take a break from life, be riddled with people who I've seen talking like they're praying for my downfall

Seriously what the fuck

What. the fuck.

.

Now if you'll excuse me

[artdcnaldson]

im so glad youre matching my freak on this (patricks sister au) because im actually so not normal about it. i havent thought about anything else all day, many more thoughts are in my head about this, i need art so badly

his restraint grows wearier every time you're on his bed in your slutty outfits making puppy eyes at him. its only gotten worse since he let it slip that he does want you, but just cant. it seems like youre in his room every day now. tiny shorts or even worse, tiny tennis skirts. the kind where he can see another one of many lacy pairs of panties every time you adjust yourself. he makes it a point to always sit at his desk, or even stand, he needs the distance.

one night hes dragging you back from a stupid frat party, one of those with a dress up theme thats really just an excuse to have the girls dress extra slutty, and oh boy did you deliver. youre not too drunk, but hes carrying you over his shoulder regardless, its just faster that way. (youre not complaining, you get to stare at his ass the whole way back to his dorm) and maybe youre acting more drunk than you are, just so he wont bring you to your own room, but he'll have to let you sleep in his.

then you're laying in his bed, surrounded by his scent, maybe even dressed in another one of his shirts and maybe just a pair of panties. watching him as he gets ready for bed (he always refuses to share the bed with you but sleeps on thr carpet on his floor instead), brushing his teeth, changing his shirt, complaining about some guy who was trying too hard to flirt with you, getting too close to you. its all too much, you really cant help it, maybe you can even blame the few shots of tequila your friends had made you take earlier that night, but your hand trails down under the sheets. you cant help but touch yourself, gently, barely even feeling it. but youre just so turned on by him, being this close to him, his possessiveness. whats a girl to do!!!!

he hears the little moan you let out, he tries so hard to ignore it. to control himself. truly hes not surprised. he keeps talking, pretending he didnt hear you. but when he turns around, its just too much. he cant help but tell you how pathetic youre being, he means for it to come out sterner, meaner, it was meant to deter you. instead he hears you moan again, so pathetic. it shouldnt egg him on, he should tell you to stop, to leave, to pull your hand out of your damn panties. he should tell you to quit being such a slut. why is it turning you on when he tells you youre being pathetic? why are you moaning louder when he says you can never have his cock? he cant help but taunt you :(((

(i can keep going, just ask lol)

GODDDDDD this au has me salivating so badly it’s crazy like this ask made me go take a lap, had to walk on my treadmill and clear my head. I feel so insane rn

Bc why IS he getting so weird and protective over you? Why is he mad that you were practically dry humping some loser from the fucking swim team that you looked like a fucking slut out there, and you should be embarrassed, honestly.

And god, he really does sound pissed about it, and you’re still pretty buzzed from the party, too, everything feels really slow and hazy and there’s an insistent throbbing need between your thighs. you’re so wet it’s soaking through the skimpy, slutty panties you were wearing.

“You should really fucking have some standards.”

Mhmm. Yeah. You should. He should totally keep telling you all about it. You sigh, slip your fingers between your thighs— all wet and sticky and sensitive. You moan, just barely, but he freezes a little. You can see the muscles in his shoulders flexing as he grips the edges of the sink. But then he’s right back to bitching at you.

“What the fuck did you think was gonna happen, huh? Did you think I’d go over there and rip you off of that dickhead? That I’d get so jealous I’d finally fuck you like you want?”

You moan, louder, and that’s when he turns. His jaw is set, clenched as he watches your hand move beneath the sheets. You’re completely unabashed as he watches you, he watches your legs spread slightly, can tell your fingers have gone from toying with your clit to being stuffed inside your pussy.

And he laughs. “God, this is really fucking pathetic, you know that, don’t you?”

You nod, whimper out a, “mhmm.” You’re looking at him through half-lidded eyes, all hazy and soft. And your hand is moving faster beneath the blankets, and god, he wants to move it so fucking badly. Wants to watch, to see how wet you are for him.

It would be so easy to just rip that blanket off— his fingers are fucking twitching with the need to. He almost does, almost loses himself in it.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking desperate,” he says, arms crossed, trying to ignore how fucking good you sound now that you’re not muffling your moans. “You think fucking yourself in my bed is going to change anything? It just makes you look like a slut. You know how embarrassed I’d be if you were my sister? You’re fucking lucky I don’t tell Patrick what you’re up to.”

You whine, pouting as you thrust your fingers deeper inside your cunt. You’re so close already, just want to cum, want him to rip off the blankets and fuck you into the mattress. “Please,” you whine.

“Please? You think I’m going to fuck up my friendship with Patrick for pussy?” He’s being so mean, you’re fucking dripping down your wrist with how soaked you are. “I’m never going to fuck you. You just need to grow up and fucking accept it.”

You cum as he watches you, thighs trembling and closing around your hand. Fingers all slick and sticky when you finally slip them from your cunt. He’s staring at you, completely indiscernible. And he laughs again. Whatever. You can go ten more rounds if he just keeps talking to you.

[visualbutterflysworld]

girl you write sub!vininie so good i love it 🫦

gotta request for you !!!

if you haven’t already, how about one where vin & reader get into an argument because some girl commented on vinnies insta post (reader and vin have been together for a few months, but they’re relationship is private), so no one knows he’s not single.

the girl is so obviously hitting on / flirting w vin but he tells reader it’s not like that and that he swears up and down he only wants her

reader doesn’t fully believe him so she takes matter into her own hands and shows him who he’s with and who he belongs too

it’s to the point where she’s got him moaning and whining n callin her mommy (need this man like that rn thank yewww 😇)

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE , im not used to requesting stuff but i feel like you would do an amazing job w this idea !!! <33

Streets | Vhackerr

warning: smut, low-key rough?, sub!vinnie, argument?, jealousy, organism denial, unprotected(birth control),

I gotcha !! This was supposed to come out tmr but I felt nice today.

Rage. Rage was what filled you. Vinnie had just posted on instagram and the comments were just him getting hit on and it pissed you off more today than usually.

Maybe it was because Vinnie decided to respond to one. This blue eyed bitch decide it would be cute to flirt with Vinnie in the comments and to him it seemed innocent but to you it wasn't.

This was one of the problems Vinnie and you faced since being in a private relationship. You knew how his fans could get and you liked your privacy. You not being in the limelight at all made things easier for you guys but, it was times like this where you wished he would make it public.

"Y/n? Are you even listening to me?" Vinnie shouted. "No, because you're just coming up with excuses on why she wasn't flirting with you." I said plainly. Vinnie sighed before wrapping his arms around you. "Baby, does it really matter? I only want you, you know that." "Really?" I scowled at him.

"Yes, tell me what you want, love. Do you want me on my knees?" I watched as Vinnie slowly began to fall to his knees. His hands resting on the back of my thighs. "I'll do anything you want to make you believe I'm yours." Vinnie said giving me puppy eyes.

I ran my fingers through his hair. "Touch yourself." I commend. "W-what?" Vinnie asked. "Touch yourself. Right here. Right now." I demanded. I heard the faintest whimper before Vinnie unbutton his pants and pulled out his number. He slowly began to stroke himself. "Like this mommy?" Vinnie stared up at me without stopping. I hummed in approval. I let him do this for a few seconds before telling him to speed up.

His head thrown back in pleasure. "Mommy, I'm about to come." "You are?" "Mmh." "Stop." I told him. Vinnie's eyes shot open as he paused his actions. "You don't get to come." I shrugged. "What? But. I." Vinnie stumbled his words. I kneeled down so we were eye to eye. "Good boys get to come and you haven't been a good boy now have you?" I asked.

Vinnie pouted, tears building up in his eyes almost. "I-I guess not." He swallowed. "That's correct. So you won't come unless I tell you so." I stood up and took a mental picture of this version of Vinnie. "I have work to do so find something to do."

Listen, I know it was mean but he had to learn who he belong to and he needed a good reminder. "Y/nnn." Vinnie whined. It had been a few hours and we were now in bed. "Y/n please. I need to come. I've been a good boy these past few hours. I even delated her comments, mommy." He kissed my neck.

“Is that so.” I move my hand down his waistband, slowly rubbing him. Poor thing had soaked his boxers. He moaned loudly from the contact. “Y-yes.” He began to claw at my beasts. Rubbing and squeezing them.

“I want one.” He whined. “What do you want baby?” “One of your boobs.” I smiled at his neediness. I stop stroking him. He pouted and whined but I quickly undressed him and myself. “Fuck, mommy. You’re so pretty.” He reached for me but I smacked his arms away. “No. No touching until I say.” I slowly crawled onto him and slowly lowered myself. Both of us moaning at the contact. I began to slowly move up and down.

“Fuck, m-mommy.” “Tell me, who does this dick belong to?” I place my hands on his chest holding myself up. “You, mommy! All you! Please, let me touch you.” He cried. I began to move faster. “Say it again! Who fucks you this good? Who gets you this hard?” I asked. “You, Y/n! Mommy! Fuck i-.” He threw his head back. “Please let me touch you.”

I leaned down and kissed his neck. “Touch me baby. Touch mommy wherever you want.” I whispered and a bunch of thank yous came out as he began to touch me all over. “Fuck mommy, I’m gonna come.” I fasten my pace. I moved my hand around his neck. Giving him a good squeeze.

“You’re gonna come?” He nods. “Look at me.” He struggles at first but looks at me. “I’m the only one who makes you come! You understand that?” He wraps his arms around my back fucking back into me. “Yes, mommy. Only you can make me come!” He yelled out.

I kiss him roughly and fasten up. “Gonna be a good boy and come with me?” I ask. He nods furiously. I kiss him roughly. “Then come baby. Come with me.” I whisper in his ear and let out a moan as I feel my climax take over me. He moans out and I feel him shoot a large load inside me. He fucks us through our high before he falls back on the bed, taking me with him.

We lay there awhile trying to catch our breath. Him still inside me. “I think we should let the public know you’re taken.” I lay my head on his shoulder. “Sounds good.” As he tightens his hold on me. “Good.”

🧍🏽‍♀️ ummm hope y’all enjoyed?

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

Obey Me Headcanons

Topic: Fights

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Beel, Satan, Levi, Asmo, Belphie

Warnings: Angst, Lucifer being a little BITCH

Lucifer:

Getting into a fight with him hurts

He will point out every single way you need to improve yourself

And call you an imbecile while doing it

He’s just so pissed that he’s scolding you worse than Mammon

Call him a little bitch to throw him off

Start crying to make him feel bad >:D

Stonks!

Mammon:

He’s not the type to stay mad for long

Unless you’re like,,,legit making out with someone in front of him, he’s quick to apologize

But if you two happen to be in a really heated fight, he won’t necessarily be mad

Mammon acts more of a sad puppy dog

“Do you really think that?”

He gets very dejected its kinda heartbreaking

Pls apologize rn!!!

Levi:

Tsundere type of angry

“It’s not like I cared!”

He will deflect. 

It’s one of the worst types of defense mechanisms 

If you just leave him alone for a while

Eventually he will be so consumed with playing back the fight

That he will apologize

Feel free to flick him

Satan:

I dont wanna fight Satan

I feel like he’d slap me not that I would mind

Similar fighting style to Lucifer

He’s a little more cold and doesn’t really point out your faults

He just insults you

“Are you choosing to be this childish right now? Do you really want to fight over this?”

He’s stubborn and will totally drag out a fight

It can either end in you two awkwardly apologizing

Or not talking for weeks

Asmo:

I feel like getting in a fight with him wouldn’t be an actual fight

He’d just be super condescending

“Oh? So that’s how you feel. Cute.”

Will scoff at you (it doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is)

Gaslights

“Darling, I just don’t understand why you’re upset. I did nothing wrong.”

It will end in you storming off in tears telling Asmo that he’s a self centered ass

Only then will he slightly feel bad 

(i love him it makes it sound like I don’t)

Beel:

Beel has trouble comprehending other’s feelings

He truly tries, but sometimes it’s frustrating

And when he’s frustrated, he shuts others out

“Beel, you can’t just sit there and eat. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to.” 

It’s very aggravating when the you can’t get through to you

It’s the fact that he won’t even try to understand

Either sit down and talk it through, or have one of the brothers explain it 

Belphie:

Two things can happen

The first is he completely ignores you

Every time you say something he just yawns, nods his head 

Or he says “I’m sorry” without even meaning it

Eventually, he’ll get so tired he’ll just go to sleep

The second thing that happens is the worst

Full on screaming match

Belphie is so fucking pissed he will start throwing insults

And maybe actual physial objects (not at you though)

If you slap him out of it, he’ll start profusely apologizing

If one of the brothers (Lucifer) intervenes, he’ll storm out of the house and disappear for days before coming back to apologize