#but thinking that they like another person over me is making me feel bad. WHICH AGAIN IS SO DUMB
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KIAN vs ALEXA (my two dear snipers...)
Spoiler: they end up as besties
And sorry if the P.O.V. is strange. Idk why sometimes they're written in first person and another times in third person.
Bang!
Alexa dogdes the bullet just by a hair.
Bang! Bang!
Now, what the fuck?
“Hey, to whoever is trying to kill me: I'm sure I have no debts. And if you're looking for any debts my parents might had...” She smoothly takes out her hand-gun. “I'll make sure you don't get your prize.”
Her eyes search for any strange movement. Any sound. Anything. And they land on a green fluffy ball (?) on one of the buildings.
The green fluffy ball (?) must've noticed her eyes on ‘itself’, as ‘it’ —in an abnormal velocity— changes placement.
“It's a solo sniper? Snipers don't usually attack alone. Or it's a very good sniper or there's more enemies.”
Shit. She has lost sight of ‘it’.
“Are you being a coward?” Maybe provokating whoever that might be lure ‘it’ out. “I mean, if you're a sniper that some dark organization hired to kill me, I'd feel honored to be such an important figure.” For fucks sake, I sounded just like Memori or Mimi...
It doesn't work. Bang!
Oh, they're good.
Alexa isn't one that works in dodging —unlike a particular blonde girl named Memori—, she's also a sniper. And she recognizes a good job done —thing that Memori definitely wouldn't...— Wait, don't think of her everytime??! Maybe those are things that happen when you're a competitive person and is paired with someone who enjoys remarking ‘how much better she is at everything’. But anyway, as I was saying— Bang!
“We're gonna be bad blood...” she mutters.
Her red eyes scan the place quickly, taking notes of anything she could use at her advantage and anywhere more enemies could been hiding. I should probably ask for help— Bang!
She would've been already dead if it wasn't for her quick thinking. She's been doing this practically since her birth.
I should confront them directly. Snipers usually don't have good hand-to-hand combat skills.
And with a quick and quiet running, she luckily makes it to the top of the —gladly not too tall— buildings without being shot.
She knows the green fluffy ball —that now takes the shape of a young adult probably with her same age, that wears a fancy mob-like suit that which would give off an intimidating aura if it wasn't for his puppy-like expression— allowed her to actually come closer, because he clearly isn't a normal human.
“Wow,” the puppy-looking boy speaks, “it's been a while since someone succesfully dodged my bullets.” His voice doesn't have any venom, just genuine interest. “You're good.” He smiles.
“I know I am good.” As she speaks she fires her gun. “No need to remember me.”
“If I shoot now, you cannot dodge.” The green-haired boy smiles slyly as he easily dodges the bullet. “Are you sure it's wise to keep attacking me?”
“Who said I couldn't dodge?”
“It's basic knowledge. You're so close to me that if I fire right now, you wouldn't have time to dodge.” he speaks lightly with a sing-song tone.
“Are you suggesting we chit-chat this over? Because I'm no diplomat.”
“Neither I am.” Even though his voice and overall appearance were so soft and puppy-like, the sniper in his hands right now says the contrary.
He probably isn't half bad in hand-to-hand neither. I need to be careful for any ambushes or hidden trap.
“Are you thinking about my skills right now, Alexia?”
“It's Alexa.” Oh no, this man is giving me déjà vu...
“I think Alexia sounds cuter, don't you think so?”
... Definitely déjà vu.
“Hehe, but I think Alexia suits you better, don't you think so, Ale~xia?”
Ugh, get out of my head, you fucking egocentric bitch—
“My name doesn't have anything to do with being ‘cute’. And how do you know my name?”
“Your name?” He widens his eyes —so fucking adorable—. “I thought you'd know me!”
Nope. This guy's on drugs.
“I'm Kian. K-I-A-N!” If he had a tail, it'd be swinging happily right now. “And you're Alexa. A-L-E-X-A.”
Why is he spelling the names again...?
“I asked you a question.”
“Memori is your Boss or something like that, right?”
Of course.
“You know her?”
The glimpse of sadness in his eyes disappears as quick as it appeared. “Yes.”
“What's she to you?”
“...” He seems to be struggling to find the correct words. “We- She was a close friend.”
... Is this some sort of pattern? Thinking of all the similarities...
Being unclear as fuck, acting as if everyone should know what you're talking about, being in your own world, switching personalities as a light switch, loud, child-like, asking how your name's spelled... There's definitely some patterns.
“Are you implying she hired you to kill me?”
“I'm not,” he whispers to himself. “It was just because.”
“Just because? Nobody hired you, no ‘a higher power demanded me to’? Nothing?”
He nods with apologetic eyes. “Memori seems to like you very much.”
Hell yeah she does and doesn't even try to hide it.
“You're asking why Alexa has to go with me?” She asks with a nonchalant expression. “Obviously because she's better than you all.” Her words are often impossible to understand if they're seriously or not. But it wasn't the first time that she admited a clear favoritism with Alexa.
“But Alexia, what do you man with a high—”
“Dude, did she reject you or what? You look so hopeless always talking 'bout her.”
“No?? I don't see it.”
“Ya sure?”
“Sure. She's like my sister.”
“... Really?”
“Really. She's like a black cat.”
What. Definitely no.
“Uh-huh,” I continue. “Why did you think it's a good idea to attack me?”
“Well, since Mori bullies you—”
“She doesn't.” Mori.
“—she must like you very much! And I wanted to see what it is that she likes about you so much!”
“You're nuts.”
“I'm not a nut- I'm not an aliment!”
“I know you're a real human.” He recoils just a bit when I call him a real human. “I meant you're crazy.”
“Ohh!” He has fangs. “That's what you meant!”
“Are you four or what?”
“I'm the same age as you!”
“Really? I don't think so. And how the fuck do you—”
“Ah, sorry for this,” he says as he lowers his sniper.
“No worries.” A total weirdo after another weirdo. “And where ya from? Your work, I mean. You look too fancy to be a normal sniper. Don't tell me you're a blue-blooded rich?”
“Ah, that is... Hm.”
“Very helpful,” irony fills my words. “So ya aren't a rich?”
“Ah, you could say... Kind of rich. My work pays me well.”
“Are riches becoming more and more common by the time?”
“People are getting better and better at finding suitable jobs!” He exclaims with optimism.
“I don't think Memori's your friend.”
“She's an angel! Who wouldn't be her friend?”
“An angel, you say?” She asks skeptically.
“She may be nicknamed sinner now, but I mean it as her personality—”
“She's nicknamed sinner now?! Since when?”
“Ah, between a circle of rumours,” he half-lies smoothly. “Nothing big, really. Some people simply resent her for her former job.”
“That chick was probably in some illegal trade. Tell me otherwise,” she rolls her eyes in exasperation.
“You don't know where she used to work?”
“At least me, no.” She looks at the sky. “She's a real mistery among us. Classic rich person behaviour. How delightful.”
“You don't have a very limited vocabulary!” He seems oddly excited about it. “I thought you wouldn't know words like ‘delightful’.”
“It's not a bad thing.”
“Why the hell wouldn't I.” No, this man right here? He's also a total fucker.
“Uh-huh.” Of course it is a compliment. Of course. Very obvious. Totally expected.
He suddenly grabs my hand and shakes it with both of his hands with a bright smile, but quickly stops after what seems like remembering etiquette. As if there is an etiquette for shaking hands. There isn't, right? ... Not that I would know, anyway.
A little late, no? “Alexa. Pleasure's mine. Is that what I'm supposed to reply?” I ask genuinelly this being the first decent handshake I've ever had.
“Excuse me,” he apologies with a smile as he lowers up his right-hand and looks at me expectanly.
??? What does he wants me to do?
“Uhm... What do I do?”
“Ah, nothing,” he dismisses.
Oh, a headshake.
I offer my left-hand to him. He stares at my hand, as if it was strange. Fuck, do headshakes have some etiquette I'm not aware of? “Am I doing something wrong?”
He focuses his attention back to my eyes as he accepts my headshake also with his left-hand. “It's not a big deal. Usually, handshakes are with the right-hands.”
So it does have an etiquette.
“Oh. I'm left-handed. I didn't know.”
“Don't worry your pretty little head about it.” He replies as he shakes his hand four times, completely different from how his behavior was a minute ago. “My name is Kian. A pleasure to meet you.”
“Mhm, maybe a little bit more formal, but yes,” he chuckles and nods. “You are cute. Like a mouse.”
Like a mouse. That's new.
“And you're like a dog.” It's an implied insult.
“Why, yes! I get told that often.”
“Figures.” I stare at this green-haired man with disbelief at his obliviousness.
“Welp, I need to go now.” He adds, “Boss expects me...”
Boss? So he does work for someone, huh?
“Bye-bye, Alexia! It was nice to meet you!” He waves his hands with excitement.
“... Nice to meet ya too, I guess.”
And with that, he jumps swiftly away.
Huh, what a strange man.
Randomly pick 2 OCs. Make them fight. How will it go?
#I didn't check for any errors#Super random#Funny how in japanese Mori means forest but in latin Mori means to die (wasn't on purpose)#memori662#memori662orig.#662ocAlexa#662ocKian
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If I had to change something about Boruto, it’d be the characters. Not that they don’t have a good basis, it’s just that their potential was absolutely wasted. They feel soulless. Like they have no personality whatsoever.
And I know that factually they’re all very unique like Chocho, Sarada and Kawaki, they all have the potential to be very motivating characters in their own right.
Except they aren’t.
Kawaki is a mirror to Sasuke, we’re meant to see him as Boruto’s rival with a tragic backstory. A brother, a sun and moon narrative that’s a complete replica of Sasuke and Naruto.
And that’s where the problem lays. They’re all just replicas of someone else. The og series also had this issue of making new characters like old ones e.g. Sakura & Rin, Sasuke & Madara etc. but those were actually well done. This is just a cash grab trying to replicate the previous series.
The Boruto series should stop trying to be something it’s not and actually embrace itself as a new idea while also NOT ruining previous characters. Ame was left in ruin, something Naruto never would’ve stood for, the boy we grew to love in the previous series is unrecognisable. And I get it, people change, which would’ve been cool and all to see if it wasn’t so poorly done.
For what reason does Naruto genuinely have to act like this? Yeah, he has a village to run that’s been booming ever since the war, except he has advisors in Ino, Shikamaru, Sakura and literally every clan head is on his side. His village is best friends with every other village. There is hardly any conflict. And you’re telling me he can’t come to his children’s birthday party? Mr ‘I want to be Hokage so people won’t look down on me’? But also he wants that because he has no family so he wants the villagers to love him. And he forsakes his family, who’ve loved him since the beginning, so easily?
They ruin old characters to the point where they may as well be from another universe because if they were half the people they actually were, that’d stop the conflicts before they start. And yeah, maybe the previous main character overshadowing the new one is a bad thing, I get that.
But if they were going to character assassinate Naruto as a way to solve this, I’d rather they have him killed before the main Boruto series started. That’d cause conflict. The pillar of peace just dying. Or like, anything else. There was no need to ruin Naruto for a soulless series like Boruto that only focuses on power ups.
And I know there’s going to be people who think the power ups are cool, that the two blue vortex is actually kind of cool. But that’s because literally every other character from the Naruto series is gone so that they can’t overshadow Boruto.
Naruto and Hinata? In another dimension. Kurama? In Himawari and weaker. Sasuke? In a tree. Gaara? Also in another dimension. Everyone is gone, and yeah, it’s tragic, but the shock effect wore off after Sasuke, it’s overdone now.
Every single character with depth is gone or hardly in the series. Sakura gets to stay because she’s a medic ig but as soon as Sarada needs a more dramatic route to her story, I guarantee she’s getting sealed off too.
The authors are scared to kill off actually important characters from the og series but are more than willing to ruin them. Everything is about them. Not Boruto.
No one was going to be happy with Boruto, I get that, people hate sequels. But the genuine apathy radiating off of that work kills me. The shock factor is over, move on.
I have so much more to rant about but I’ll end it here or I’ll never stop.
#naruto#boruto#rant post#sasuke uchiha#sakura#ino yamanaka#shikamaru nara#sarada uchiha#naruto uzumaki#boruto uzumaki#himawari uzumaki#kawaki#chocho akimichi#gaara#kurama#boruto manga#two blue vortex
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Not to play devils advocate, but I feel like lilys opinion on the usage of the n word is valid. Regardless of someone’s race, I think it’s a little backwards to dictate what someone has to say about another races cultures just because they’re white (or not of that culture), differing opinions aren’t the end of the world and hers wasn’t inherently racist I fear the same goes for the anime thing too, I’m sorry but Japan DOES have of a loli problem, even if her wording was extreme
I’m not white myself (to be fair, not black/japanese either), not that I think it matters to what I can and can’t say about this but I don’t want you to assume I am white because I somewhat defended lily, which is someone I did NOT want to run defense to but maybe I’m too conservative for this space but I mean this in the most respectful way possible, it feels like some of you are reaching on some things just to paint her in a worse light, as if she wasn’t already famously bad 😭
(Feel free to correct me, I’m not trying to be intentionally ignorant for the sake of it I’m just tired of hearing of a lot of echo chambers about the issue without getting to WHY what she says is racist when I think like pretty reasonable??)
Anon, my friend, I do not know how to break this to you, but that is racist. I know you do not mean to be. I know you're trying your best to be as inoffensive as possible. I'm going to do my very best to answer you genuinely because you seem genuine.
Saying Japan has a Loli problem is like saying America has a child pageant problem. It's there. It's a problem, but it's not something floating on the surface everyone in Japan is aware of the magnitude of. It's a niche genre of ero fiction that comes up about as much to your every day Japanese person as child pageants in America.
In the 80's there was this loli boom that took place where it split off from your more typical bishōjo into lolicon. You would find stuff like Future Boy under that genre long before you'd find any ero.
It wasn't until an otaku named Tsutomu Miyazaki was arrested in the late 80s that the darker side of loli came to the awareness of your every day Japanese person. It was a popular genre so there was a LOT of hentai of it. He killed and murdered several little girls between the ages of I think 3 to 6 and it started a panic very similar to the Satanic Panic that happened in USAmerica. He had a massive collection of anime and hentai. I mean massive. From normal things you'd see in Walmart to stuff you could only buy from very specific websites online no normal person would even know about. It wasn't just Loli that was effected though it was all anime.
It's why Otaku culture was so repressed and shameful for a long time and it even killed the Loli boom because the style was associated with the killings. It wasn't until very recently that Otaku culture made a come back, but still Loli isn't making that come back because of the online opinion on Lolicon. It's gone from an art style to something a lot darker and I think that's where the communication sort of faulters? Because if you say to a Japanese person "you have a loli problem" they're going to think you're having a Satanic Panic moment at them.
At least that's been my experience.
This whole thing is why there was the Moe boom in the 2000's, it was an over correction on the part of artists. Trying desperately to get away from that label and people taking advantage of that as well to make slop.
The rise of the Lolita in Harajuku also muddied the water on this because there's an entire beautiful subculture there that branches into a thousand different expressions. "You have a loli problem!" What's the problem with girls in frilly dresses?
You as someone online, who is adept at being online, in critical spaces and animation/anime spaces have so much more exposure to this stuff than anyone on the daily in Japan.
The entire world has a porn problem. The entire world has a sexualizing little girls problem. To point at Japan and specifically repeatedly deem the entire country as having an issue with pedophilia is racist. To go out of your way to bring it up when you're not even discussing anime or Japan is racist. When your hate and ignorance for a place and it's people bleeds into everything you do
That is racism.
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Hi, fellow ace here!
For me, I do actually notice some of that stuff, beyond the super tight skin suits, probably because I feel very conscious of my own body and how others may perceive it- I grew up very determined to not appear “sexy” at all because it disgusted me to think a person would think my body was attractive in that way (I didn’t mind people thinking I was pretty or cute, it was specifically the sexual kind that bugged me).
I think this mostly happened due to me getting to anime, which has a… reputation… for portraying women in a sexual way.
Now, Miraculous is definitely not doing anything as bad as most animes I’ve seen by a long shot. But it does make me think about the little ways portrayals of characters can make people think about themselves and others. I’m not saying Miraculous has enough power over the minds of little girls (or boys) to change their views that much, but I think it’s worth discussing why these design choices were made- why are the girls in these basic skin-tight suits while the boys get add ons and layers, even when their outfits are tight? Why does the main character, a 14 year old girl, have so much emphasis on her butt?
Because one thing we need to keep in mind is: these are adults making these design and visual choices about how to portray these teen characters. While it may not be an overt message, or even something they intended to convey, biases and views enter both the writing and the design and can sometimes say things that are not good. Why are adults putting all these young girls in skin-tight body suits? Why are adults putting emphasized shading on a 14 year old’s butt? (And you can do this with the writing too- why are adults portraying obsession as a healthy romance? (For both main characters)) Because to them, it’s an acceptable thing to do. Why? Because the sexualisation of women and girls is, sadly, fairly normalized (especially more so now I think- younger girls are dressing older more and more now, which is so scary to see, I’m very concerned for their mental health).
Will the kids watching notice? Maybe, maybe not. But since those types of things are normalized, it just becomes another example they’ll see of women and girls looking like that, like they’re on display. It adds to the pile of exposure, even if it’s small.
(Though I will say that person in the comments bringing up that comic of Marinette being in New York naked is totally right- that was incredibly disturbing and I hope no child reads that hot garbage. That was an intentional choice and it feels so filthy. That one does actually feel like it came out of an anime because some pervert writer wanted to slap in it for his own fun.)
Is it true that Miraculous often sexualizes its characters? Because I see other people say this and want to know if it’s correct
I have not picked up on anything like that in Miraculous, but I'm ace, so sexualization has to be pretty overt for me to notice it on my own. It's entirely possible that there's something subtle that I'm missing. Until someone gives me specific examples, my stance is that this is incorrect. It's not an element that even crosses my mind when it comes to the reasons why I would discourage adults from introducing this show to kids. I am concerned about the quality of the romance between the leads, but that concern comes from a psychological standpoint about modeling what healthy relationships should look like. The love square is way too teen drama for a family show! However, from a purely physical standpoint, it's appropriate for all ages.
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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Ford, solemnly: Now that we're free ... Please don't hold it against Dipper that he locked us in a room together to try to make us get along.
Norman: I wasn't going to. Like, I'm not thrilled about it, but I'm not mad, either. Just mildly annoyed. It's another one of his antics. But why does it matter so much to him?
Ford: *sigh* Dipper reminds me of my younger self in a lot of ways. Good ways and bad ways. We both have a tendency to be ... obsessive and get swept up in our own excitement, for example, even to the point of being irrational despite our minds being practically hard-wired for analytical thought. And neither of us deals well with perceived rejection or betrayal.
Norman: But I didn't reject or betray him. I only said that I didn't really like you.
Ford: Yes, but like I said earlier, we're both very important to him. He sees me as a mentor and maybe ever as a role model, he sees you as his best friend--
Norman, surprised and pleased: H-he said that? He called me his "best friend"?
Ford: He's hasn't used that exact phrase, but you don't need 12 Ph.D.s to figure it out. The point is, we're both very important parts of ... of his life, of his psyche, of who he identifies with and how he sees himself. I imagine he perceives someone not liking either of us as not liking a part of himself. Hence a perceived rejection.
Norman: ... Yeah, I guess I can see that. It makes no sense, not really, but also it does sorta make sense for Dipper. He once spent a whole afternoon trying to concince me that I should like Wes Anderson, even though I just don't.
Ford: *shrug* I did say we can be irrational despite being so analytical ... I'm glad you're not mad at him. Please reassure him of that. By all means, be firm with him about not locking you in rooms and such. I'm not saying to put up with shit--Oh, damn, can I say shit in front of a child?
Norman, wryly: I won't tell a fucking soul if you won't.
Ford: Ha! Well, as I was saying, don't put up with his shit. But please reassure him this whole ... episode hasn't changed anything between you. You're still friends, even when you don't agree. I think that would be ... would be very good for him. It'll help him grow up into someone who doesn't remind me of my younger self.
Norman: ... Do I have to give the gun back now?
Ford: No, you can borrow it for the day. Have fun, just don't shoot any people or any animals or any property that I personally care about.
Norman: Cool! But ... *sigh* Okay, why did you say that thing just now about it being good for him? Gonna bug me 'til I understand.
Ford, wistfully: ... Do you know how many friends I've had in my whole life? Truly close friends, who I felt I could be truly honest with about who and what I am?
Norman, taken aback: Uh ... This isn't about you being probably bisexual, is it?
Ford: What? No--Well, maybe, I guess--
Norman: Is it going to be about Dipper being probably bisexual?
Ford, exasperated: It's about isolation, you spikey-haired ... child. I 've had 3. One was my brother, who I turned my back on because of anger, resentment, and self-absorption. I got so swept up in obsession and feeling betrayed by him over an accident, that I let it cost me my only real friend at the time. One was McGucket, who I pushed away because of obsession and a need to be a genius and a pioneer of science. I got so swept up in feeling like he was rejecting me over ... Oh, it hardly matters now, given how unstable I was. The point is, it cost me the only real friend I had again.
Norman: And the third one?
Ford, haunted: ... That was Bill. Who did actually betray and reject me--who never actually was my friend, for all that I believed he was at the time. But that didn't exactly help my fear of betrayal and rejection, as you can imagine. And all of it happened ultimately because my own obsession and tendency to be swept up in my own excitement drove me towards isolation.
Norman: Which you don't want to happen to Dipper.
Ford: Yes. I understand he also has struggled to make friends over the years, only really having Mabel for so long. Isolation again. But you Mystery Kids, with you in particular as his best friend, Norman, have helped him so much by genuinely befriending him. That's helping him learn to be more ... more grounded and more stable and ... and good. More good--better, I mean--than I was. Which I want. I want him to be better than I was. So ... yes.
Norman: Yeah.
Ford: *nods* Good.
Norman: *nods* Great ... I'm, um, gonna go blast something now.
Who knew all it took to solve your personal grievances was giving a small child an unregistered high-tech firearm?
#mystery kids#paranorman#gravity falls#comics#webcomic#obsession#stanford pines#ford pines#dipper pines#dipper#norman babcock#norman
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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I know it's been a few years since I've run my own dog training business instead of working for someone else for exploitation wages and that previously I was working in the rural south where prices are a bit different in general, but out of curiosity I decided to look at some dog training services in my area in upstate NY today and got hit with sticker shock ngl.
Most places don't post their prices so I could only compare a few (which... I sort of get since they want to avoid competition doing what I'm doing right now lol but as someone who has run a dog training business and had business marketing included in my education it's something I see as an... *interesting* choice, because most clients want to know price up front without having to contact you and wait for a response because they probably already have a budget in mind and just want to be able to quickly see if you fit into it or not, which means not having prices posted will make some potential clients immediately look elsewhere and if you don't even have some sort of price range for services posted somewhere then most of your calls and emails will just be people asking for pricing and a majority of those calls and emails will not lead to services purchased so it ends up wasting a lot of unpaid time on office work BUT THATS AN UNRELATED TOPIC, I DIGRESS) but WOWZA the ones that did have prices posted really made me realize I do NOT live in a low cost of living place anymore.
One of the popular places here that I looked at charges $150+ for ONE training session with one of their APPRENTICE trainers. It's double that price to train with one of their more experienced dog trainers for just one session.
I looked back at some of the trainers I was competing with back in FL and NC to compare as well as the dog training school I went to just to check and see if prices were getting that high in other rural areas, and nope. Most places $300 would still get you at least three - maybe up to six - private lessons spread out over three (or six, or whatever) weeks, which is the pricing range I'm used to seeing dog trainers in the rural south suffer with because of places like Petsmart setting the pricing bar so low.
I'm pretty sure I have more formal dog training education and certification than most of the employees at this place too since even their main "behaviorist" (not a protected title in the USA so anyone can call themselves that) has no certifications listed at all that I can find, so... I guess now that I live here if I ever start training again I'm going to have to rethink my pricing lol even if I don't charge those kinds of prices I clearly still need to bump them up in this area from what I used to charge in order to be competitive with these other training businesses.
#pricing too low compared to competition is a business killer btw#another think i learned in my marketing classes#most people buying dog training are wealthier#not necessarily rich but... not poor#and although id love to offer sliding scale for low income clients if i ever do training on my own again#your normal prices being too low WILL turn away those clients who are higher income#cuz EVEN IF IT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE higher class members of our society have a subconscious idea that price often = quality for services#I KNOW I KNOW I did not believe this either straight out of school and underpriced my services still anyway despite being taught that#because it did not make sense to my poor person brain to assume that wealthier people think like that#but i learned very quickly after having a couple of wealthier people literally LAUGH at my pricing#or make weird faces and say “that's it?'#the first dude who laughed at my pricing actually gave me a tip that doubled my price for his services every time i worked for him#and another regular of mine often left me envelopes of cash because she said she felt bad that i was charging so little#and that it actually made her second guess hiring me at first#SO JUST TAKE THE ADVICE AND CHARGE WHAT IS COMPETITIVE IN YOUR AREA AT LEAST INSTEAD OF TRYING TO UNDERCUT COMPETITION#or compete with the big chains DEAR GOD DO NOT TRY TO COMPETE WITH THE BIG TRAINING CHAINS PRICE WISE FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH#you will burn yourself out and make yourself hate dog training if you try to compete at their exploitation prices#at the least price around what other people who are NOT working for chains in the area do#and ideally price what you think would make you feel like your time and labor is being adequately compensated#which means enough to afford to live and afford to pay for things like health insurance as an independent contractor#and have enough left over for some QOL stuff and to put some into savings for emergencies or slow periods for your work#a lot of people working with animals ridiculously undercharge and then end up screwing themselves over mentallt and physically#anyway this post and the tags are long enough and i could rant about pricing and fair wages forever so im done now lol#just reeling a little at the idea of charging $300 for a single dog training lesson and that PEOPLE HERE ARE PAYING THAT#THAT PLACE IS POPULAR AND SUCCESSFUL#they do not pay their trainers that much though lmfao they make only like $6 over minimum wage OF COURSE#which I know because I got into this pricing deep dive after seeing multiple of their job listings because they're hiring right now#i hate business owners that do pricing vs employee pay so differently like that they are honest to god EVIL that is exploitation
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watching the first episode of the 2017 webdrama and then skimming through the sanitised 2021 remake (starring whr - fun fact) is the same bewildering and depressing experience of watching addicted 2016 then moving on to what SWM 2023 did to the story in the process of what it believed to be "fixing" the problematics of its canon
#2000-10s dramas are complicated beasts...but at least they tend to be frank with what they knew was problematic#(though there were indeed terrible habits like the flippant making up of random mental illness as tropes which we've thankfully gotten over#but sorry some 2020s dramas are a new level of crime. they think they're '''cleaning'' things up. make things ''palatable'' & ''wholesome''#but now not only are they boring but also turned out to be even more offensive as they try to justify/deny the problematic behaviour#like 2017 ver's ml did the terrible things which the story very openly acknowledges to be bad#while the 2021 ver made it into 🥺 ml did these bc he loves his brother ok he would never harm anyone 🥺#like the fuck. you literally just kidnapped an innocent person.#2021 ver was also practically a copy of jlr's bad writing. lol just call it a cdrama remake of jlr instead and go away#depressing bc it feels like mainstream dramas will never be capable of handling problematic subjects again. and all we get now is hypocrisy#oh also another sign of things getting worse: we went from 10 eps to 40 (of bad pacing)!!!!!! wtf#ok tbf swm 2023 felt more like a genuine attempt. but again the direction into 'wholesomeness' is a personal affront to me :|#BUT ALSO MORE BEWILDERING IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT DIMENSION BC IT WENT TO DISTANCES IN PRODUCTION TO CIRCUMVENT CENSORSHIP ????#my posts
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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i hate how i feel doing or not doing certain stuff for/because of the pain + fatigue since im a fat person :///
#p#id feel double standard-y shame (my favvvvv) abt it anyway#but its like. i took the elevator up to the break room just now n it always feels like everyones watching me do it#n judging or smth. like ya im also not in shape n thats like my fault etc n that would help these things be easier too#like especially on days ive worked i dont wanna go w ppl walkin the dog cuz im in a lotta pain#n w all of this i feel like a lazy piece of shittt which. like i said..id never think abt anyone else#even another person who isnt thin#or in shape etc#anyway. on lunch break now when theres lots to do (we have more ppl now at least tho)#n i feel like im such a loser cuz i rly needed to sit+rest n eat#also for my brain cuz i get overwhelmed n weird anyway but. -___- i gotta get over itttt fuck offfffff#i feel enough dumb bad stuff abt not doing 'Enough' but adding this makes it feel worse bleh#im big into shame idk !#working (sorta. its not rly working akdhdj) on not feeling negative n bad abt the word fat#i wouldnt randomly call someone that irl or anything#but i know ppl on here are wanting it to be more normalized n that its not an inherently bad thing/word#but. :(((#not another good word for it so yknow w/e#ok im gonna try to stop pity partying thru a break#especially when ill have less than an hourrrrr after this yay
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Oh I'm so embarrassed about the reaction I'm having to The News
#my friends Robin and Leo started dating recently. which would be wonderful if not for the fact that i like Leo. a lot#and it's stupid for me to be upset about this bc i was not going to get into anything with Leo anyways#I don't think they like me like that and i was content with things being platonic between us#but thinking that they like another person over me is making me feel bad. WHICH AGAIN IS SO DUMB#LIKE. I GET IT. I'M NOT LEO'S TYPE AND ROBIN IS. SIMPLE AS THAT. THAT DOESN'T REFLECT ON OUR VALUE IN LEO'S LIFE OR OUR VALUE IN GENERAL#I KNOW#BUT IT'S STILL UPSETTING ME LIKE CRAZY#I'M SO EMBARRASSED I CAN'T BE THINKING ''what does he have that i don't'' THAT'S SO LAMEEE AND IT'S A FLAWED WAY TO LOOK AT IT.#but wait the story is even funnier#bc one time we went out clubbing and Leo was doing this thing where he tries to make out with as many ppl as possible#he had gotten to 7 so i sad wanna make it 8? and they said yea and we kissed for a bit#AND APPARENTLY. I NOW FIND OUT. THAT ROBIN STOLE MY PICKUP LINE THAT LITTLE GREMLIN#AND THAT'S THE WAY HE ASKED LEO OUT#I'M GOING TO EXPLODE#even more embarassing#is the fact that my first immediate reaction to finding this all out was to think ''oh now i REALLY need to get into something with Draxx''#Draxx is a friend that I'm kinda into. Leo introduced me to him at a party recently.#Leo does not have any sort of attraction towards him. so why did my brain plot it as some sort of poetic revenge? no fucking clue honestly#I'm upset and none of my thoughts are rational rn#don't even know why my brain wanted any revenge in the first plane it's all so absurd#big stupid feelings that I'm obviously not sharing with anyone involved#jealous and for what
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#im so stressed out im so tired ive done nothing and i need to start writing the essays#i have 3 to do plus there are like 6 exams most of which have a lot shit to remember plus im having a psychology short test#and the results of another short test next week and i need to start this economy assignment#and im late almost two weeks with a russian assignment and i want to cry#my meds arent working so im a mess and i stopped taking them bc they give me nightmares but now im having withdrawal and my heart is being#weird and i want to cry i need to kill myself i need to call my doctor#and maybe ask her abt that thing that makes you not have to take all your exams if youre mentally ill#but i feel bad asking for it like its not like im really sick and it feels like im just constantly lying#and she already signed the crap that makes me not have to go to pe thankfully#so i cant go and ask her abt this too like whatever worst case i fail everything and rip my guts out and die#i dont remember when i showered last time and im just so stressed out and i cant do anything productive#i havent been drawing or learning or revising or even doing my reading#speaking of which i have like 300 pages for next week maybe more and i cant take this anymore i need to die#also i think my parents would get mad at me if i said i cant wrote all my exams#bc whatever im not really sick im just lazy and annoying and a bad person and i wish i could get hit by a car so bad i need my head to be#crushed and my brain to get wplattered across the street#also im so gross and sweaty i hate myself sm and i feel so guilty over everything all the time#and them i go to therapy and i cant talk abt anything bc i hate talking abt my feelings its gross and i dont deserve it#i wish there was easy access to guns here suicide would be so easy jesus#and im having insane mood swings again i need to get off social media even tumblr it just makes me feel like shit abt myself#tw suicide mention
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oh the pOETRY
tarot card commission ⸸THE LOVERS ⸸
#ela's on another tangent#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#the doomed lovers narrative will always get me#yes i know they weren't officially lovers#that's what makes it all the more heartbreak#jackie and her little girlypop outfits pre-crash#as compared to her twinky little boyish outfits in the wilderness#she was just starting to figure herself out and work out who she was away from the oppressive watchful eyes of her parents#i personally think she was just starting to realise she was in love with shauna when she died#which is why the rejection of the argument sting so bad for her that she was so determined to prove her point that she died#(pause for a sec cos i find it hilarious how fucking petty jackie is)#(she literally died of cold just to prove a point in an argument so me coded)#but she never got the chance to work out who she was or become who she could have been#so she never really got to explore her sexuality and (i think) died confused and pining#meanwhile shauna's response to jackie's death??? and the sheer denial of it??#i feel like can't be solely attributed to how close they were as friends#or even to shauna's feelings of guilt and sudden realisation that she wasn't coming back#no i think shauna realised quite a while before jackie did that she had feelings for jackie#and the fear of those feelings and the implications that she maybe isn't as straight as she thought#(or as straight as her parents likely wanted her to be)#is what i think completely created that argument and fuelled up until jackie left#simply cos shauna was scared of the fact that she had realised how much she felt for jackie#it's all the things left unsaid between them that can never be said or fixed#not-quite-lovers doomed by the narrative to never truly know how the other felt and never able to know what they could have been together#now that shit is poetry#and this artwork to me absolutely encapsulated all of that#phew tangent over guys you can come out from hiding now
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