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#but things like this have often ruined my day
violettwrites · 1 day
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trailerpark!daryl headcanons
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a/n: this includes both sfw & nsfw ( below the cut ) headcanons for tp!daryl
if you enjoy my stuff, please don’t forget to like, reblog, and/or comment ! here you can find my masterlist, and my ask box is open for requests !
warnings: there is mentions of abuse, and weed in this post, also nsfw content. please proceeded with caution 🫶🏻
resources: divider by @adornedwithlight
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sfw tp!daryl dixon headcanons.
➵ tp!daryl dixon is very much different to his older brother. quieter, less annoying, but overall just nicer. he is extremely loyal, & protective.
➵ he is extremely self sufficient. being left home alone for days on end helped him build his resilience.
➵ he has a soft spot for stray animals. the amount of times he has found a tiny stray kitten and wanted to bring it home is countless, but he knew his father would not be happy with him.
➵ he’s surprisingly very good at drawing. he often likes to sketch scenes of his surroundings, wherever he may be. that may include the creek you and him spend a lot of time together at, the silver dome arena where countless concerts he’s snuck into have played, or even just random doodles.
➵ he loves heavy metal and rock music. his favourite bands are motörhead, slayer, iron maiden, metallica— just to name a few. he gets his taste in music from merle.
➵ he is not much of a talker, but he is definitely a listener. he will listen to you rant and ramble for hours on end, often just replying with a nod of his head or a mhm, but you know he’s always taking it in.
➵ he often wears long sleeves & sweaters to hide the bruises and scars on his body from his father. it’s harder when he ends up with a black eye, but he just plays it off as him and merle roughhousing.
➵ the first time he ever smoked weed was with you, and merle, in one of the old broken down cars at the trailer park. merle and daryl sat in the front and you in the back, dutching out the old chevy with the smoke.
➵ he didn’t like going to school, often skipping classes or just not showing up at all. but you can bet he was always there to walk you home at the end of the day.
➵ he can often be extremely withdrawn, isolating himself several times a week. it’s never personal towards you, but you’ll often notice he’s been missing for a few hours. you can usually find him down at the creek, in the woods behind the trailer park, or even on top of his trailer sometimes.
➵ because he’s too broke for concert tickets, he’s snuck into concerts so many times.
➵ he’s had a crush on you since he knew what crushes were, really. merle constantly teased him for looking at you like a lost puppy, urging him to make a move. but he’s too shy for that, and he didn’t like the idea of possibly ruining your friendship.
➵ overall, he’s your best friend. you trust him with your entire life, and you couldn’t ask for anyone better.
nsfw tp!daryl dixon headcanons.
➵ big switch energy !
➵ when he’s topping, he’s rough with you, but always makes sure you’re okay. he’ll press your thighs to your chest while he fucks you, or he’ll pull your hair from behind. the rings on his fingers also add to the pleasure when he spanks you.
➵ when he’s subbing, he’s a whiny, begging mess. he’ll grip at your thighs or ass, looking up at you with big blue eyes while he begs for you to keep going.
➵ the first few times you two fucked, he kept his shirt on. he was too nervous to take it off, but you never pushed him. slowly he became more comfortable and now it’s one of the first things he’s ripping off.
➵ aftercare king ! not that there’s much he can do without possibly outing himself to merle or his father of his activities, he’ll always make sure you’re okay— wether that be just getting you a glass of water and snuggling with you after, or kissing every inch of your body.
➵ certified pussy eater™. he’d go down on you for hours if he could.
➵ if he had to choose between ass and tits, he’s definitely an ass man. he loves grabbing handfuls of the flesh, especially when you’re riding him or he’s fucking you from behind.
➵ loves leaving hickeys in place only you and him can see.
➵ loves to hear you moan but also loves to shove his fingers in your mouth to shut you up when you’re being a bit too loud.
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yiiyiiwrites · 3 days
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🔥 | Autumn Equinox | Eris
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Summary: You're a witch living in the Autumn court forest, Eris is tasked with making sure you're not up to anything bad. But the baddest thing you've done is fall in love with him. How you share your morning with Eris during the Autumn equinox and showing him your rituals 1985words
Eris Vanserra x Witch reader
Also Have one for [Cassian] & [Azriel] & Lucien coming soon
Acotar masterlist
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The bells chimed as he walked through the door to your little cottage, a clothed pouch gripped tightly in his hand. Eris Vanserra, eldest son of Autumn and the thief that stole your heart. You don't know how he'd crept into your thoughts so easily and remained till he could sneak away to visit you again.
Always so well put together, not a single crease in his tailored clothes. The emerald green overcoat making his copper hair stand out, it fell freely over his shoulders and curled at the end. Amber eyes narrowed as he scanned the room, hands tucked behind him, but a smile tugged the corner of his lips.
"I'm here for the monthly check," he said, circling the tiny kitchen until he stopped in front of you. His hands found place on your hips and he closed the remaining sliver of distance between you and him.
You backed into the kitchen counters, head arching up to meet his amber eyes. His touch burning, you gripped the soft velvet lapels of his overcoat and pulled him down, lips pressing against his.
"Does that conclude your check, General?" You said leaning away from him as he tried to chase your movements, nose trailing your cheek.
"I may need some more time to compile my report," he said stepping back, a dusting of dried lavender brushed over the top of his head and he shook the petals from his silky hair.
The last time he'd visited, Eris had picked the last blossom of flowers from your garden. Binding them with string, loop holding them up from the pins in the wooden beams on the ceiling. Saving you from standing on the rickety stool, that he'd told you to get rid of every time it caught his attention.
A fog still hung around the lower trunks of the forest trees, the rising sun painting the sky in a golden glow. Windows misted, the drizzle of rain running down the glass pane.
"Happy equinox, my beloved."
Your heart skipped a beat whenever he used that term of endearment. Knowing that he could hear the change in your heart rate, only spurring him on to use the word more often. Liking how you blushed and met his gaze, unwavering and unafraid of getting burnt.
"Worship me then, my love," you replied, pushing him into a chair with one finger. Sharp nail leaving a crescent mark in the soft velvet of his overcoat.
The court feared you, but Beron kept you caged to the forest. Letting you practice your magic and using it for his own gain. Tied to the lands and unable to step into the heart of the court, you made the most of your assigned time with Eris, the one person that didn't fear your power.
"I'm afraid I can only worship you this morning, the rest of my day is fulfilling my duties," he said laying the pouch on the dining table and untying the string to lay the contents out.
It was easy to forget the burdens and responsibilities that weighed on his shoulders. The little cottage offering you both a place of refuge and your own space to create just for yourselves. No outside influences ruining the life you'd built together. Eris was the only person that visited frequently, a few times one of his younger brothers had stepped in for him and you'd longed for the eldest.
"Oh, you brought them. You picked them on you way?" You asked sliding a mini brass cauldron across the table to him. He nodded, shuffling the browning leaves on the cloth in front him. He mirrored your movements, placing the leaves in his cauldron and glancing back at you for instruction.
The cool breeze filtered through the open window, Eris's copper hair dancing behind him like crackling flames. He combed his fingers through his long locks and pinned them back. A few strands falling like silk over his pale face.
"What are we...." The gulf of a flame cuts his words short, the orange glow rising high as it devours the leaves in your cauldron. His amber eyes darken, a flicker of the same fire within them.
"Light it," you said, nodding to his cauldron. "It's a releasing ritual, think of the things you need to let go, that are no longer working for you or are holding you back." Your lips soften to a smile, your gaze lowering the flame of your own and focusing on your own thoughts you wished to expel. "Release it, so you can move on."
You felt the warmth of his magic, but did not gaze at his flame. That was his ritual alone, his to lay waste to all the things holding him back. Not everything was in your control, but small things like this led to powerful change.
Inhaling a trembling breath, you exhaled a calm and steady one. Your body lighter, mind clearer as nothing but ash laid at the bottom of your cauldron. The smoke rising from the curved rim merged with the soothing scent of cinnamon and oak clouding your senses.
Eris's gaze snapped to you, back straightening as he righted himself and released a deep breath of his own. You didn't ask how he felt, you could see the lightness in the slight relaxing of his shoulders and soft jaw smoothing the pulse of tension away.
"Ready for the next phase, my love?" Remember you always have a choice," you said reminding him that he could stand down if it got too much for him.
Not everyone was ready to face themselves and let the old them go, a constant cycle of transformation, enough to keep people in the past and clinging to that scrap of safety. You were well versed on the spinning wheel, the good and bad that spun and offered you a new beginning and sometimes a painful ending. How else were you supposed to grow if you did not welcome the unknown?
"I'm ready."
Eris wasn't afraid to leap, to take your hand and trust that you'd have his best interest at heart. Each time he'd left your home, you'd performed a protective spell to see him to safety out of the woods and deep down you hoped it'd extend to the court and protect him from his father, his brothers.
You lead Eris to the living area, sinking into the plump sofa and fluffing a cushion for him before he could sit back. Dried herbs and flowers covered the small table, you'd spent weeks preparing enough for the both of you.
"Now we need to cleanse, but we're going to bundle up some of these to burn." You gathered up rosemary, lavender and peppermint, closing your hand around to keep them together. "Pick which ones you like the scent of or that call to you."
Eris's hand hovered over the stems and petals, he picked a few up and brought them closer testing their scent. The first one he chose, Lavender the scent he associated with you. He'd admitted that it had clung to him whenever he'd left like he was still in a daze in your cottage. A few sprigs of purple were left on his sleeve sometimes reminding him of you.
You helped each other tie the bundles together with some twine, two rings keeping it intact. His finger brushing against yours every now and then as if he couldn't go without your touch.
Fire, like the Autumn court was vital to your magic tied to the forest. The bundles lit with flames, the smoke cleansing and washing away the dirt and ash you'd burnt in the cauldron. You waved it through the air and walked through the scented fog, drawing up and down, around your figure until it burnt down to your fingertips.
Eris's magic consumed the dried herbs and petals quickly. He took the remnants of yours and held it above the crown of your head, slowly circling you and kneeling at your feet to cleanse all of you.
You cupped his face in your hands, the pad of your thumb tracing his sharp cheekbone. Leaning down you kissed him and leant away, pressing your forehead to his.
"Is this worshipping enough for you, me beloved?" He said rising from his knees and wrapping his fingers around your wrists. You knew time was not on your side today, the little you had left crumbling away.
"One more ritual, my love," you murmured against his lips, standing on the tip of your toes to kiss him once again. He hummed as you pulled back, letting you guide him to the other side of the room.
You sunk to your knees, Eris doing the same. The platform raised on the floor, your altar. Dried oranges hung in a stringed line against the wall, orange candles in differing heights scattered the wooden surface. You'd collected some leaves, acorns and fruit to offer to the Goddess of Harvest, the one you thanked every year on the autumn equinox.
Eris had seen the seasonal changes of your altar, sometimes even helped you find things to place on it. He'd brought you back seashells from the summer court for the summer solstice, roses from spring for the spring equinox and a vial of snow for the winter solstice. Little things you'd never witnessed stuck in one court.
You'd kept a seashell by your bed, listening to the waves as you cupped it to your ear. A dusky pink rose still full of life, where you'd spelled it to last till your last breath. You treasured the gifts Eris gave, hoping that what you offered to him was enough.
Closing your eyes, you felt the familiar warmth slip into your clasped hands, you stole a glance to Eris beside you, whose eyes were also shut. "Goddess of harvest, we thank you for guiding us through this year and helping us grow. Through hard work and consistency we have thrived, asking once again for you to look over us as we navigate a new path. We shred ourselves of old thoughts and shadowselves, to welcome in the good, the light."
Eris squeezed your hand, gratitude surging through you as the weight of his hand reassured you of all the good. The light in him, that he rarely showed to others. You hoped one day you wouldn't be confined to the forests and he wouldn't have to conceal his true self.
"This candle is a symbol for the light we are open to receiving," you whispered, opening your eyes you're met with a flame dancing on the wick before you. The light he gave you.
You picked up an acorn from the altar and slipped it in the pocket of his Eris's lining. "It's for good luck." You often gave him small objects for luck or protection, he'd joked about not having enough shelf space for any more stones or crystals.
"Thank you," he said rising from the floor. He offered you a hand and helped you stand with him. "Afraid our time is up." The hard lines settled on his face, lips straight and pursed as he put his mask back on.
"Let me walk with you," you said, arm sliding around his back as you walked out the door with him.
The sun had risen, fog parting as you traipsed through the tall grass. In the depth of the forest, you were able to roam freely, the outskirts however is where you could not step over, as if there was an invisible wall keeping you from the heart of the court. The core of it your garden, no one dared to enter it so it gave you the opportunity to spend extra time with Eris as he walked back to his duties.
And you would watch him step over the boundary and wonder if you'd ever be able to follow him.
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Since its nearly autumn equinox I wanted to do some prompts for it :) there's other characters to come - Yiiyii
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liloinkoink · 23 hours
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hey guys, someone just sent me a weird ass ask claiming my incredibly close friend cherri @cherrifire secretly hate me and is talking abt me behind my back. i was not the only person to get one of these identical slanderous asks. i’ve already blocked the anon but like. open letter to them, and for the benefit of anyone else who gets an ask like this….
1) anon, you’re genuinely fucking stupid
2) hysterical to send this when i was actively chatting w her, while we were in the process of fleshing out yet another renchanting au, something we have done all day every day for… gosh, how long has it been now? nearly two years? i would say that it was really bad timing to send this ask to me while i was actively chatting aus w her but there really isn’t any moment you could have sent this that i wouldn’t have been.
3) if you thought i wasn’t gonna call bullshit and snitch immediately you don’t know shit about me or cherri, which, granted, is evident by the ask in general, but you really are stupid
4) if a gc like this existed—which it does not, bc cherri is not like this and would not do this—i would be in it. this idiot doesn’t even know im cherri’s emotional support writer. do you have any idea how many gcs and servers she’s dragged me into w her.
5) get your facts right cherri talks shit about me to my face. this is mutual. fake ass fan. if you were a real cherri friend you would know this smh
6) no, actually, you’re right, she definitely hates me. that’s why i met her irl literally like 3 months ago on her invitation, we hung out for a genuine week, spent basically the whole time arm in arm or hand in hand. this is also why we were planning a second meetup last night. you idiot. you fool. you complete and utter moron
anyway, if anyone gets this ask:
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it’s complete bullshit. theyre sending this to cherri’s best friends for some godforsaken reason. it’s very weird and deeply cringe. also incredibly poorly planned. idk how many ppl you sent this to, but a few of us are in a gc and we have been making fun of this ask for like an hour (anon, im one of cherri’s friends and she’s been telling a small group of friends about you— lol. lmao even)
anyway like. to reiterate. cherri’s one of my best friends, she’s absolutely lovely and i’m lucky every day to know her. we hang out and chat constantly and we’ve met irl and it was an incredible experience i would love to repeat. i have told her things i have not fuckin told anyone else and you could not otherwise waterboard out of me. i love talking to her all the time and i miss her when she’s busy for even like, an hour. i love writing w her and creating things w her. she’s an incredibly bright spot in my life, often the first person i think of upon waking and the last i think of before i sleep. she is kind and funny and i love her a lot.
i’m a bitch tho so like @ this anon go fuck yourself. you better hope that when you die that the devil finds you before i do. sending this ask to a bunch of our friends, trying to turn the people she cares about against her, and for what? you clearly don’t know her well enough to be talking like this. trying to ruin my friend’s reputation and friendships w a vague as hell and entirely baseless copy paste is super fucking weird. why would you do this? and like, do you think we were born yesterday to fall for this? i’m insulted for her for whatever it was you were trying to pull and i’m insulted on behalf of myself and everyone else you sent this to that you think we’re as stupid as you are. what is your damage. get a hobby.
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betelgeuses-wife · 2 days
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Hi there!! Could I request a sweet oneshot where the Reader cuddles with BJ, combing through his hair while he curls up with her? Romantic ship bordering on platonic would be lovely!! 🥰 thank you!!
If course! I'll do my best! I hope you like it. Please let me know feedback, it helps a lot!
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Creature Comforts
🪲🧃
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You weren't entirely sure what had gotten Bee in such a put-out mood but after this long, you refrained from trying to guess, it could've been for a number of reasons or just one, perhaps one that wouldn't seem much of a big deal to you but that was Bee for you. You were used to just giving him comfort when he asked for it because it wasn't too often when he wasn't his usual, theatrical self.
Adventures in Babysitting was playing on the TV while you both were on the couch, you were sat up with your legs resting on the footrest and Bee was laying with his head in your lap; a pillow under him. He seemed unusually quiet and you wondered what was on his mind, usually he'd have made some crude jokes about the lead actress by now. He'd have found a number of ways to try to make you laugh but it was radio silence on his end. With Bee's lack of personality showing, you were barely paying attention to the movie yourself but you weren't particularly in a bad mood, you just wanted to find a way to make Bee...well. Himself again. You knew people had their off days and you supposed ghosts did too.
You were running your fingers through his hair gently, not really even aware you were doing so until you caught a knot and heard Bee grumble.
A "Sorry...", whispered, slipped from your before pursed lips. Your gaze settling on Bee rather than the screen, now slightly more focused on gently getting the knot out without disturbing him more. Bee didn't often care about his appearance either, he'd rarely ask for help with his hair but he hadn't complained since he had come to rest his head in your lap about a half an hour ago. So, you figured he didn't hate it.
You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought of snuggling up with him and taking advantage of the silence but in all honesty you wanted to just comfort him. There were a number of things that were left unspoken between the two of you, each of you held your own secrets about your dynamic. Perhaps denial was at play but at times, your flirtatious, playful moments you shared bordered closer to your feelings and wants for Bee than you'd care to admit. You stated you'd only let him be around so long as it was platonic and here you were questioning that.
"What's on ya mind, Sweets?" His gravelly voice pulled you from your thoughts. Perhaps your lack of detangling had earned his attention.
"I could ask you the same thing. You've been quiet too." Your eyes locked onto his as Bee had turned to look up at you.
"Just'a thinkin, s'all."
"Want to talk about it?"
"What. 'N' ruin your quiet time?"
"I'll take that as a no then. Want to cuddle...then?" Your voice softer, perhaps given the quiet, almost tender exchange of time you had shared over the last hour, it felt a little strange. Perhaps edging into romantic territory but you hid your thoughts as you felt Bee move to sit up.
"C'mere then" he offered as his arms hung open.
Your momentary worry about overstepping boundaries was washed away and you shifted over into his arms, sinking into his hold as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, giving you a quick squeeze. He wasn't warm but it was still comforting. You knew how to compensate for the cons of him being a ghost. The house was always made warmer in the evenings during the colder seasons so you didn't notice the coldness of his touch, a hot water bottle also helped too. But having a cold body body hug helped in the summer. A welcomed feeling when you started to overheat. You found ways to adapt to what were issues before. Perhaps the fact you had embraced ways to make living together work had been the reason he trusted you, and you loved seeing his reaction to your ideas, you saw how he had felt seen, properly seen after decades of people wanting to just get rid of him.
You could feel as he relaxed, glancing up to see his eyes now on the screen, perhaps whatever had been troubling him had settled, he seemed more content with you in his arms. Maybe that was just your mind looking into it too much though. You weren't willing to say anything was for certain.
"Like what ya see, Tootz?"
"Shut up, Juice."
"Whatcha gunna do? Make me?"
You rolled your eyes as you watched him raised his eyebrows a few times and winked. You swatted his chest and turned back to the TV. But you were still aware of his hand on your lower back, rubbing it confortingly in small motions, something you often had needed after a long day but you supposed he had gotten so used to it that he was doing it without realising.
You hadn't really realised it until that moment but you had both slotted into living together quite well, and had learnt how best to comfort each other, even without knowingly doing so. You had him to come home to and he knew you'd always come back or let him know if you weren't. You both gave each other someone to rely on, at a time you both needed it. Perhaps that was the blessing the people before you saw as a curse.
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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iwasbored777 · 2 years
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Every time Chloé is being extra and Lila is telling her to tone it the fuck down I always imagine this meme and I finally made it
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They're literally like this 😭😭😭
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If you’re feeling like a raging bitch for no discernible reason, you’re probably hungry. Go have a snack. I don’t care if your stomach isn’t growling, just go eat a cookie or smth.
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jupiter-nwn · 2 months
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I'm so tired
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lieutenantselnia · 2 months
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 months
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minneapolis, so far…(and a little Chicago)!!!
from erica durham (chiffon)
#one of those surprises of [last Posts were in may; february]#lsoh#guthrie little shop#joys of costume closeups#if i had to guess the sparkly river one is chicago....absolutely the guthrie & gold medal flour building of mn there#and the last one i'm like 95% sure is minneapolis as well. dunno about the other building#literal closest thing to either; once i went to indianapolis#next experience with Larger Cities is wacky stuff like [has fairly often been to dc] & [went to baltimore for several days once?]#& [has been in & out of nyc Once driving through to probably laguardia or w/e & i was 7 so it doesn't count for much]#other being Through or in the vicinity of larger cities but other than that like. through/near boston. pittsburgh...?#nashville a couple times as my only visits to another time zone. louisville. savannah ga was not a Large City experience#nor richmond va....so on so forth#i had free reign once to Pick A Trip Destination (not Really like internationally. or probably even that far nationally. and i wouldn't've#wanted to add Flying to the mix anyway e.g.) but with a trip partner where it was like so this is an obligation at the very best#inherent punishing experience as well so i Might've been like eh fuck it weekend in chicago?#but given that i suspected i might have otherwise enjoyed the trip it was like i don't wanna ruin that lmao#bit of a so close yet so far tantalus element to add like no that is okay. keeping [genuine enjoyment] out of the mix when possible#or big city or not the so close yet so far [new orleans jazz festival school trip i didn't go on ft. the epic music dept head]
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silvreflames · 3 months
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young nesta who was groomed to use her beauty as a weapon vs nesta now who has never felt more ugly and undesirable in her life since she has failed the one thing she was raised to do
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scarletcomet · 4 months
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I am so fucking miserable
#i cant keep living like this#i want to sh so bad rn#dying would solve all my problems#the problem is my top and probably most lethal method could result in like lost limbs if i fail#the more and more desperate i get though the less i care because i just need it to work#i can't do that to my family tho. they would be sad.#im such a burden on them tho#my depression is getting so bad that i can barely even function#i often feel the need to like escape whatever situation im in#it feels like the only way to stop feeling so miserable is to die#i can't take this anymore#43 days self-harm free but i could really use the distraction and the pain right now#ugh maybe my therapist was right when she mentioned going back to the hospital#at least then i wouldn't be expected to do all these things and act normal#i feel like i need to get through this weekend and then if im still feeling this way and insurance hasnt approved the ketamine#then i should consider hospital#but i have to go to philly for my twin sister's graduation. i am so happy for her and all but it's just going to be really hard#with how I've been feeling lately in addition to how graduation just reminds me of all my failures#i was supposed to graduate last weekend. my sister and i were supposed to graduate at the same time#all my friends are graduating too#and im as depressed and hopeless as ever#i dont know what to do#im going to ruin everything if i go but my sister will be upset if im not there#i just dont think i can handle being in philadelphia all weekend
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jelliegirl · 1 year
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i feel sad today -_-
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sikuyacole · 1 year
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Quick describe your favorite oc(s) in ten words
ru, my genderbending oc:
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blue
dual
confused (about a lot of stuff)
(formerly) gifted
burnout
gender
boygirlfailure
gaymer
friend
(a living) oxymoron
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takasgf · 1 year
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seeing my friends smile and be happy and heal in real time fills me with such undescribable joy. and tears. they got me crying over their smiles
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szczek · 2 years
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i have never felt this much angry i’m tearing up and want to murder my dad
#how dare he say that to me#all i’ve been doing these past two weeks was declittering the house#i have cleaned out the entire bathroom and the goddamn kitchen so that theres space and everything has its own place#and there’s no expired things#and now there is an actual space to put groceries inside#and today i wanted to do the komoda in our dining room which btw doubles as his home office but also is on the middle of the goddamn house s#so you Have to go through it to go anywhere right#and he just asked if i’m finishing the cleanup now so i sad No cause i work 6 more hours - so after work#and he has the halls to get mad at me that i half as stuff and that the vacuum will be out here for the next two days cause i won’t do it#and that i left a crystal vase on the dining table for two weeks now and haven’t touched it like I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO EVEYTHING ALL AT#once okay!!! i will do it don’t talk to me like that#and going back to the dining room being his office it means every flat space is covered with his documents and i mean every#it’s the messiest shot ever cause he doesn’t think to keep it clean#and i’m the one that makes the mess#and now he tells me not to throw things cause i put down the remote loudly like i will do as i freaking please cause i’m furious and he has#ruined my good mood#all he has done after me cleaning is be mad that he can’t find things like i haven’t moved anything nowhere he just doesn’t even bother to#search if he doesn’t see smth immediately he gets mad and says we always hide stuff from him to annoy him#absolutely no gratitude from either of my parents i hate it here more often than not
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