#but they were all lots more expensive
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#inktober2024#story of how girl got her shiny new bike#was specifically looking for a rusty used one#but they were all lots more expensive#you pay for a nice anti-thief finish ☠️
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forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.
ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol
#it was a weird class#it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow#I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy#and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess?#she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason#standing is a lot more tiring than walking#i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life#did not like the teacher tho#on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies)#which is very nice#but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it#like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now#and also kind of racist#she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person#and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner#im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist#she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist#she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately#like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all#also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once#also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips#she was like a walking russian stereotype lol#anyway heres some ink the artist lore
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on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me
#hotd spoilers#i mean at least we got to SEE addam and seasmoke meet#like since the timeline started we’ve had three perhaps four dragon claiming and not cradle eggs - laena and vhagar; aemond and vhagar;#helaena and dreamfyre; addam and seasmoke; potentially aegon and sunfyre since it’s kinda fuzzy on exactly how that one worked#(i imagine similar to however laenor & seasmoke worked tho? that one is similarly vague)#(oh fuck and daeron and tessarion are in the same boat right? very young rider very young dragon but we’re not told whether this is a cradle#egg or whether this child just felt a pull to a young dragon or whether they were specifically allowed to choose that dragon)#anyways i think it’s really annoying we’ve only see that one (1) claiming esp when you look at the riders of the other ones lol.#also vhagar gets a LOT of action helaena and dreamfyre don’t get anything and they cut the one thing they did do.#laena is vastly underused altho i will give them that they at least on screen establish that bond which is more than u can say for dreamfyre#the seasmoke thing is also like. if you were Just gonna kill him offscreen so addam could ride him. what’s the point.#literally could have just had daemon kill him atp & just have him lie to rhaenyra or whatever.#i’ve really liked the dragon scenes we’ve gotten but frequently it’s like. u called the show house of the dragon.#surely you thought about how you were going to cheaply do the dragons or budget them in. why don’t we get more dragons.#‘well they’re expensive-‘ get an animatronic head to interact w like jurassic park. some of these characters rode their dragons every day!#okY i’m done bitching i can’t believe after i spent all of got going ‘fuck these dragons where are the wolves’ now i’m like#WJERE ARE THE FUCKING DRAGONS CONDAL
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That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading
#xrdslog#um basically. made a bet they could convince me to kiss them and constantly hinted at it until it happened and then bragged about it a lot#then I told them I was aro#then we got a headmate that they had a crush on and started dating#and then used that to argue that I should date them bc it’s easier if it’s both of us#and then prioritized me over him#also: this headmate is one I have a father and son relationship with#so what the hell#also told me they fixated on people and they still loved me but they were fixated on their friend so couldn’t give me attention#their friend who they called their not-girlfriend. because that friend’s husband wasn’t comfortable with her being poly#and they still wanted to date her so they just called her that instead#gifted me an expensive adult toy and then took it and gave it to said not girlfriend#which. ok sure. but then why tell me it was a gift#demanded to talk to certain headmates and made a big fuss about knowing exactly who did what even though they were rarely correct#pushed me away whenever they were sad and then was upset I wasn’t comforting them#I baked banana bread once on a whim and then they constantly made me make it for them when I didn’t want to#NEEDED music playing at night and fans on them and they got upset if I didn’t want to sleep by them even though I couldn’t#‘pretended’ to choke me when I got a rare item in final fantasy before them#wanted to rp with me but demanded I start it because they were tired of starting rps with their friend. ok. not my fault ?#more than once tried to get me to sign a lease with them even though I had no money or job#got mad at me because my art was good? and they didn’t think theirs was or that they were creative?#did not ever compliment me without an insult attached for the last three years of our relationship#constantly tried to talk about sex or illegal things in front of my mom#constantly bragged about how they were going to become rich when their grandma died and hoped it happened soon#The Entire Trauma Part where they barely comforted me at all#oh also I spent basically sixteen hours a day in VC with them every day and they broke up with me for not spending enough time with them#even though I could not Possibly have spent More time with them#there is more than this. but this is off the top of my head. lol.
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On the verge of doing a deep dive compare and contrast between both Wicked and Evita being adapted for films because the parallels are RIGHT THERE. In this essay I will
#that same twenty year gap between the shows and the films though#STARTS WITH A DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT OF A MORALLY AMBIGUOUS PROTAGONIST#(i joke. the stage/film version of wicked really isn't even a little bit morally ambiguous#aaand the many many diplomatic negotiations with both Argentina and madonna about preserving Eva's image)#something something Glinda in the second half of Wicked channeling expensively dressed blonde political figurehead#literally the only two musical soundtracks i know inside out#but hilariously i imprinted on the film of Evita at an impressionable age and the show didn't get a west end revival for another decade#ironically that was 2006 when i also saw Wicked for the first time#more importantly the film of evita is based on the concept album rather than the show (and later productions use some film inspired changes)#and wicked the film moves even further away from the original book than the show does#i just have a lot of thoughts okay#and i really do have a terrible fondness for the heightened sepia nostalgia visuals of Evita it's a genuinely beautiful film#alan parker knows his shit#is it ~good~? i mean idk that that's quantifiable#i find it more watchable than the 2006 show revival#(also. also. Antonio Banderas. that is all.)#i think it uses screen space and the hinted at spaces beyond the stage much better than Wicked does in the film version#also? Evita is just allowed to be consistently snarky (because Che) and they kinda... stripped some of the snark from Wicked for the film.#i remain baffled by Choices.#(my new favourite Evita trivia is that both Meryl Streep and Michelle Pfeiffer were signed to star at various points and the CHOICES)
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2 memories i feel like sharing, & some backstory context: so my ass has been spayed, and healthy people take 6-8 weeks to fully recover from getting spayed. i, chronically ill, took longer. as with any abdominal surgery, they told me "no lifting over 10lb u could tear ur stitches." and for reference, my cats are 12 lb wonders.
so im chilling in bed. ~4 weeks after surgery. and my mother starts SCREAMING my name. like "OH MY GOD BORB COME IN HERE NOW QUICK QUICK HURRY OH GOD." so i do, albeit slowly because, you know, still recovering from major surgery. she's freaking out about one of my cats, who looks entirely normal. oh but he ~suddenly stopped~ and ~twisted his body~ i don't know if he's going to be ok. one mother panic attack and one emergency vet visit later (with my mother's help bc i couldn't lift my cat due to lifting restrictions) : he had flea dirt on his hind legs. he was twisting around to lick around his arse. cool 👍 (ofc my mother, on the ride back from the vet, tried to tell me NOT to give the kids flea meds, she doesn't know what kind of ~health ramifications~ flea meds can have if *gasp* the kids don't actually have fleas)
around the same time period, i get woken up by my mother screaming "HELP HELP HELP!!" the first day it happens, she stops within ~15 seconds, and i hear my parents talking before i fall back asleep. find out later the mechanism for moving the window panels up & down in the bathroom broke, so the top panel had trapped her fingers a la guillotine style. my parents joke "well borb if you hear your mother screaming... her fingers are probably trapped 😂." can you guess what happens next. my father was gone the next day, and guess who got her fingers trapped AGAIN by the bathroom window. so i get woken up by her screaming, and i have to help dislodge the window around her bare naked ass. and sure, i have sympathy because i bet it was really painful. but like. are you fucking stupid. my father had to literally childproof the window by installing a screw so the guillotine panel would catch against the other panel so fingers wouldn't get trapped. just so my mother wouldn't get her fingers trapped again. we all knew that if it wasn't there, she would 1000% get her fingers trapped again. but *im* supposedly the incompetent fuck up that NEEDS to be told exactly what to do just in case i, idk, have an independent thought.
#borbtalks#this isn't even including when the plumbing broke and my parents went 'oh a plumber is expensive :( let's just go w/o toilets for awhile'#and after abdominal surgery + narcotics for said surgery. they have you taking a lot of laxatives regularly.#bc straining could pop a stitch.#my parents knew this. my parents knew that physically BECAUSE OF SURGERY & MEDS. that i couldn't just. hold it.#or when my mother pounded on my door at 8am yelling 'BORB I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG. . . OK NEVERMIND'#turns out the princess felt faint for a moment. so of course she sprinted to my door instead of. idk. lying down for a moment?#or the time the plumbing got backed up and everyone confronted me and i had to tell them i hadn't had a BM in over 48 hours to clear my name#bc they were all blaming me. what actually happened? right after i left the bathroom my mother came in and flushed 5 wet wipes 😒#AND NO ONE BATTED AN EYE#when borb might've backed up the plumbing: oh HOW DARE HE. he's an EMBARRASSMENT. what a DISGUSTING FREAK#when my mother actually backed up the plumbing: oh okie mistakes happen ^_^#god. i share two memories and it's like woagh here's 5 more related memories.#fucking. pattern of behavior. 'oh it was just one time can't u forgive mom' NO IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS OF THIS SHIT
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can i say it now?
sage of time/time powers didn't make sense for totk zelda. at ALL.
when in botw, before the calamity, in aoc, did she EVER show an affinity for time powers? i get that it was like this sort of. hidden power kind of thing, but it still doesn't make much sense. not for zelda.
#not to mention. light dragon still.#like..... it doesn't make sense in my head.#i would have understood it if it were link who was sage of time. because he canonically has magic related to time#(e.g. flurry rush. bullet time. plus connections to the hero of time)#they could have made a banger design with time themes for dragon zelda. im just saying#and i get kind of trying to connect her with sonia a bit but idk.#i TRIED to bring this up back when totk first released but people didnt like that very much#i think both zelda and link are connected to time and light but they each have more of a connection to one over the other#like. okay. dragon of time zelda. yes?#phases in and out of existance at will. sometimes she's seen at the two different places at the same time. maybe more.#her appearance is pretty unpredictable. the average hylian who has no clue what the dragon spirits are talk about things going missing#weird things happening whenever the dragon of time flies overhead#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk spoilers#idk if people still care but it was more expensive than usual so#negativity#i feel bad for making this post after bitching about people being too harsh about totk#and people were. i was hyperfixating and legit could not talk about it because people were horrible about it to me#which genuinely ruined a lot of my experiences online last year#its really hard to try and reframe it as “all that matters is that you enjoy it and what other people think shouldn't affect that”
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we went to a bigger flea market in the city today, I've never been to this one and it was good! I bought seven records 😌
#that is HUGE. at all the flea markets and second hand shops I've ever been to all the records were 1. very old and 2. very German#which I am not interested in#okay there's a lot of classical music too. but I don't care about that either#but this guy had a lot of good stuff. most of the ones I wanted were super expensive so I didn't get those#but still! really cool. I got a bunch of alan parsons project records. and a couple manfred mann's earth band ones#and the guy asked about my toto shirt 😌😌😌 nice#also bought one more from a very old guy who was really cool#so yeah this was great#personal
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I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.
#totes bro#im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time#they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works#and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it'#but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that#they dont have the required posters#they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us#which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree#all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave#and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did#and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry#idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this#not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway#oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised#my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol#every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)'#they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime
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actually I just need to trick someone into giving me a professorship so I can assemble a class reading list of all the shit I want to read
#also just realising that my education was far less critical than I initially thought#like I have two geography degrees and was not once taught about the relationship between cartography and indigeneity#or really indigenous issues of any kind#and I took those critical sjw elective classes! I took those. and they were good but they weren’t sufficient#so I’m just in a moment where I’m reflecting on the state of my extremely expensive and specialised education#and realising with disgust that the things I should care about I don’t know very much about at all#which is solvable but it requires a lot of personal effort on my part#and it makes me that much more cynical about academia institutionally#anyway thank u everyone for managing my intellectual crisis I’m fine now lol#shoutout 2 nora witchleia. we had a great discord convo about it
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Listen, I wouldn't normally cite Cosmo as support for an argument, but I can't think of anything that sums up the dangers of the stay-at-home girlfriend/tradwife nonsense like this quote:
“If you give a man the power to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.”
#ladies no matter how good your relationship is PLEASE don't ever put yourself in a situation#where your partner is your only source of income and you have no bank account of your own and no means to support yourself#if you want to play history revisionist and pretend the 50s were the era of your pastoral suburban fantasy#and not full of reasons why shitty husbands kept ending up dead when women couldn't escape them through divorce#then that's your business#but for the love of all the suffragettes who fought for the rights you want to hand back over to some guy#please at least read this article and the warnings from ladies who did the stay-at-home girlfriend thing#and had to start over from scratch when things crashed and burned#it wouldn't take much for a woman to be completely trapped--especially if things keep going the way the gop wants#you give up your job to play tiktok housewife barbie for your man. he knocks you up. the relationship goes sour#a miscarriage could get you arrested and you can't get an abortion because you live in a red state#you can't move out with no job/income and definitely can't afford to juggle pregnancy expenses on your own. now what?#and this is not meant to be a 'men are trash' or 'being a stay-at-home mom is a prison' thing#there are a lot of good men in the world and for a lot of families having one stay-at-home parent#is actually more cost-effective than having two incomes and paying for daycare#but having financial autonomy is so so important#don't give that up for any relationship#financial abuse
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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man. the full digital spy interview is out and i really do get the impression that barry loved filming saltburn and loved his role and really truly loves this movie, but hates the idea that people are finally seeing it. like it's so obvious in these post-release interviews that barry's a little distant and hesitant to talk about audience reaction and reception and even in this interview he goes as far as to say that he's scared of people having the ability to pause saltburn and take him in and dissect him. i truly think that being oliver was easy for barry but being barry post-oliver is much harder when so many people have seen him in and only see him as this role.
#theres a moment in this interview where the interviewer asks a kind of pointed question about sexuality#and it was about oliver but the way the question was set up#it almost sounded like it could be about barry#and barry gets a little cagey and starts twiddling his thumbs again#like he did when they brought up jacob#and its just. more than a little annoying ykwim#i understand why the interviewer asked it#i understand what they were going for#but it sucks that it's all happening at barry's expense lol#saltburn posting#sorry ive been posting a lot today#big day for annoying people
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rewatched the serpent's pass last night to take notes for my fic, and all night right up until waking up, i just. couldn't get over how unsatisfying the sukka reunion was. even with my silly shipper goggles on, i'm just like. it didn't sell me, and I don't know how much of that is me being in all likelihood demiromantic, and how much of that was just genuinely lackluster writing :T
like, right before their near kiss, her whole “I lost someone I cared about. He didn’t die. He just went away. I only had a few days to get to know him, but he was smart, and brave, and funny.” just...........Doesn't do it for me. it's so tonally different from what sokka had just said, and also like!!!!! you knew him for like A DAY!!!!!! you did not have NEARLY enough time to care about him like that please be real dlkjfhdkj
#i mean in a lot of ways i'm laughing bc i saw soooo many variations of complaints all boiling down to#''they made natla!suki nothing but boy crazy!!'' and i'm just like...#do what i did and watch the warriors of kyoshi back to back with the serpent's pass and tell me shes ANY better in the original lmfaO#i DO think the writers of the original tended to only remember she's the /leader/ of the kyoshi warriors when it was convenient#IDK really i'm just wrestling with asking myself ''how much liberty am i /really/ going to take with this suki deep dive''#how much am i allowed to change bc this original ep probably came out in like. 2007 and here i am in 2024--#i just want it to be more satisfying#i ALSO want moments between her and other characters since most of her interactions were limited to sokka#BUT ALSO ALSO.#to me suki is very much a ''once she has made her mind up about something nothing will get in her way''& she def made her mind up about him#and i DO think that huge smile of his once he finally recognized her out of uniform absolutely melted her heart in the moment#a sort of ''oh nobody has EVER been that happy to see ME''#ALSO x3: did love seeing her with that main character animation budget - but also loved how many shots shoved her in the very back#like yeah i'm sure relatively speaking in her kyoshi gear she was expensive to animate lol#talking tag
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i agreed to see a show with my sister but once again she has invited her friends without telling me (one of whom I've never even met) and they already bought the expensive tickets without asking me so now im on the hook to pay like twice as much as i was hoping to pay. like i didn't agree to any of this but now i guess I'm stuck with it !!!!! thanks!!!!!!!!!
#usual bullshit#after she JUST told me she couldn't give me more of the money she owes me (which is quite a lot btw)#super fun#super great#personal#also on my birthday a few weeks ago she wouldn't come to anything i asked her to#and then she said her and her friend would come to one thing#and i had to be like “Well i didn't invite him and it's my birthday and i would like for it to only be ppl i invited”#so neither of them came#i had plans all weekend and the only thing she came to was one dinner which ik was only bc she knew my parents were paying#so ofc she ordered one of the most expensive things on the menu#god when i type all that out i really see how fucking entitled she is in so sick of it#okay goodnight
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Remember when I was complaining about Coco’s vet bills and the fact that he needed another blood test? Well Fifi is sick too and she ALSO needed a blood test and also medication and my bill yesterday was RM588 im genuinely DEAD
the good news is Coco is healthy. The bad news is my life
#saving money is so hard 🥲#all my savings in the U.K. was used up getting me back here etc not like the asshole was gonna help pay for anything#even though he was the one who ruined my life#and then I start saving again here and I’ve already had to dip into it#my parents were helping a lot when Robb and Coco was sick but I can’t ask them for any more 😭#I’m so screwed lmao#at least I can always go over to my grandparents and beg them to feed me………….#(since. yknow. whatever money I have left goes towards buying CAT food)#they’re so fucking expensive why did they all decide to become ill one after another 😭😭
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