#but they literally sold out in s e c o n d s

[sturniolo-rat]

NSFW ABCs - Nick Sturniolo

Masterlist

Taglist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s surprisingly uncharacteristically soft and cuddly. He’s only ever little spoon when they cuddle after sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is hair. He love the feeling of his partner holding and pulling his hair. His favorite body part on his partner is his chest. He likes touch his chest while he rides his partner.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Cum is disgusting to him. He believes he is too good to have something like cum on his body. He always asks his partner to cum down his throat.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sometimes when he jerks off he’ll pull his own hair and imagine it’s his partner.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s moderately experienced. Like on a scale of one to ten he’s a sold five. Maybe even 7 if they’re only doing oral.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowboy. He likes to get on top. Honorable mention to doggy style because it’s better for hair pulling.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is very serious in the moment! He thinks about the moment and the moment alone. He makes sure to be focused in order to do everything right and perfect.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

While not covered head-to-toe in hair, there is a happy trail leading down to well-groomed, slightly trimmed pubic hair. He keeps himself groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s very serious. He gets down to business and becomes a machine, doing everything as he is supposed to working very efficiently.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Refer back to his dirty secret.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He likes to spray his cum all over his partner’s pecs and abs. He also really likes to have sex in front of a mirror and with his music playing in the background.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom. Only in a bedroom. He may on a good day give his partner head in the kitchen or something like that.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Nick loves loves loves being praised.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nick just really hates stupidity. If you do some really dumb shit without even thinking - he gets severely turned off.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Nick loves to be face fucked. He wants his partner to grip his hair and slam slam his member down his throat, again and again. He'll also happily face fuck his partner, although he prefers he puts in more of the work and lets him relax.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Nick has been known to be a little rougher. He’s definitely an aggressive power bottom.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Absolutely his efficiency often leads to everyone cuming very quickly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Literally no. He would hate to be found in a compromising position AND not know what he’s doing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Nick can go on average two or three rounds without penetrative sex and one or two with.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nick doesn't own any toys, although he's always been open to trying them and will gladly if his partner asks.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nick is such a tease. It takes him some time to get comfortable enough in the relationship to tease but once he does…he loves it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Nick is pretty quiet, he tends to hold back a bit. Half the fun though, comes from dragging every little noise out of him. The best ones are the small breathy moans he makes and the half-choked groan when he comes.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Personally I think he’s a rigger. His partner needs to be open to being his ropebunny.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Nick has a 7 inch cock that he's quite proud of.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty middle of the road. He is however immediately turned on when his partner initiates.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

When he bottoms he falls asleep quite fast, he'll get tired as soon as his partner pulls out. Otherwise he’s not very sleepy at all.

[nempthis]

Life Update 2023 summary

First of all, last year was complete shit and it's a torture to remember it again right now but for the sake of this blog well, I'm gonna endure it.

J A N U A R Y

- I got accepted at this BPO company that I've been talking about. I worked there for a month until I got sick and was terminated afterwards. Your girl was unemployed for months.

F E B R U A R Y

- After I recovered from being sick, Gek and I went to Pasacao beach for the first time and spent quality time together.

- Also DJ from high school suddenly hit me up but I just ignored it.

- started my online business, sold some pre-loved clothes and Carbonara. It was fun but really challenging

M A R C H

- Van my best friend went for a trip to Europe for 3 months so Gek, Mak and I had to stay together in one apartment without my dad knowing about it. I had to make up a lot of excuses for my dad cuz he's not gonna approve that I was living with 2 men.

- Holy Week? not sure but we got rat infestation here for the first time and ticks from Boris too.

A P R I L

- I started applying for a job and was scheduled for an interview like 2 jobs reached out to me (ADNU and Jollibee) but I didn't show up cuz I got cold feet. (not sure if this was in april, I might be tripping)

- Can't remember shit from this month

- Also started dieting and fasting this month onwards because of you know...

M A Y

- I got hired for a job!!! I went to work on my first day and I didn't feel like working there so after my lunch break, I didn't go back.

- also this might happen in april? I'm tripping again.

- Damn, the apartment got chaotic and awkward because my bff cheated on her man when she was in Europe and I was kinda involved with the drama. That shit was messy, had to deal with it until the both of them moved out.

J U N E

- my bff went back from Europe and she talked with her man and they were fine again but I was left on red notice still and it hasn't been the same for months to come

- I got a job again at this start up company that my bff and I both applied for but spoiler alert, I didn't last long either

J U L Y

- because... I got bullied in this company and my bff told me I was just overreacting but it was so obvious that these fuckers were coming at me. Long story short I lasted for 2 weeks there but I still got paid. Fuck those assholes and C U R S E T H E M.

- took so long to get my period and I was anxious!!! Didn't do it with Gek or anyone but shit was scary when my period was late. Longest cycle ever and it actually affected my performance when I was still working.

A U G U S T

- just unemployed. I barely remember what happened the month.

- probably stayed home ALL THE TIME.

S E P T E M B E R

- Peñafrancia festival just got sad because I had no friends to spend it with unlike the previous year when I used to ride the Vikings with them, this year just hit different.

- Bff and her man finally moved out so my man and I started living together, just the 2 of us.

- Stressed because how the fuck am I gonna pay the rent and bills in my apartment if I was unemployed? but I got it so I am fucking broke right now as we speak.

- Bf resigned from his job to become a delivery man and his schedule was flexible so we spent a lot of time together.

O C T O B E R

- worst fucking month of the year ever

- got a new job again but I lasted for 2 weeks only because I fucked shit up and this experience was probably the worst fucking one cuz literally it broke the remaining spirit I had and paralyzed me to go back in the field again.

- Don't wanna talk about it anymore just FUCK. THIS. MONTH.

N O V E M B E R

- 24th birthday?!?!?! wtf I am old and unemployed again

- still recovering from that hell of experience 💀

- also fuck everyone in that workplace especially Mae Ann fucking fat bitch and Jo soggy tits cunt 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

D E C E M B E R

- Sad Christmas but I bought a round cake and it was the best decision I made the entire year.

- the remaining days of the year were blank and sad and boring. Barely even remember shit

- lol I went shopping for my self-care thing as a gift for myself this Christmas cuz I've had enough bullshit for the entire fucking year.

- and I also binge-watched HxH the entire month on Muse Asia because it was playing on loop so I guess it was a good end of this awful year.

Glad that was over.

That's it. That was my entire year. I got severely sick at the beginning of the year, got unemployed a number of times, got caught up in a drama, relationship with my friends isn't the same anymore, traumatized as fuck and still here. Fuck 2023 and some of the people I met this year. Officially the worst year of my life.

Damn, who would have thought that 2023 was gonna be hell for me? at least the previous year was sort of okay but 2023? NOPE.

[thisistheatran]

Mmm yes, the d e l i c i o u s s m e l l s of

M e r c h

[alphinias]

*storytime nobody asked for*

I find it hilarious that in season 1 the thought of Jiara didn't even cross the producers mind and they were never supposed to be a ship in canon and there actually was a whole path set for Kie and Pope clearly for the following seasons... BUT JIARA WAS THE REASON WHY I STARTED WATCHING THE SHOW AND THE SHIP THAT SOLD THE SHOW TO ME.

I remember that when OBX came out it blew up overnight and everyone was talking about it and taking a look at first glance by the aesthetic of it I just thought "nah this seems like the knock off version of "Blue water high" (1. oldies will know what show I'm talking about 2. I was so fucking wrong lmao) and I just left it there.

Then one night I was scrolling on Insta and I watched this 10 seconds edit, 10 S E C O N D S, of Kiara and JJ (it was just the scenes in which JJ gives her his hand to get on the boat, JB and Kie's kiss and Kie's "did you tell JJ?" and JJ being happy about JB being turned down) AND I WAS WHIPPED, SOLD, IN LOVE, "WHO ARE THESE TWO IDIOTS CUTE AS HELL BFF TO LOVERS????? I NEED TO KNOW"

I saw how everybody was talking about them, I ended up watching their edits the whole night and at that point I was truly convinced they were THE main ship of the show so I started watching OBX because of them...I was SHOCKED when I realized that the show was actually pairing her up with Pope and this ship didn't even exist in canon, no hints of it in the storyline, no intentions there AND I FELT LIKE I GOT SCAMMED. (but not really 'cause I fell in love with the show anyway)

To this day it still makes me laugh how relevant Jiara was as a ship before they even were a real ship in the show...like OBX s1 was literally serving us an entire ship for Kiara and a storyline for Kie\Pope IN CANON and the whole fandom just completely decided to ignore that and was like "mmmmmh yeah no, so anyway JIARA"

IDC every show (especially teen drama) has T H E ship that carries the show and Jiara are THE ship of OBX, in my personal opinion even more that John B and Sarah THERE I SAID IT!!

Hahah I actually think a lot of people started watching because they saw Jiara edits and the hype surrounding them. Their chemistry just pops and they also look so nice together which helps.

Literally no one liked pokie… like I have never seen a ship as widely considered irrelevant. What an L for them. Glad they were mature about it and changed it though.

Jiara is easily obx’s “the” ship. And I love that for them. Every show needs a slow burn tbh.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Stuck with Heartslabyul

I also procrastinated on this for so frickin’ long. I made two other series of being home dorm quarantined with other TWST characters like Octavinelle and Savanaclaw which you can go read if you want! I hope you enjoy this one! ^^

Riddle Rosehearts

He still somehow carry out his dorm leader duties-

Let us shed a tear for this young boy-

also there is from head to toe neatly

V e r y  neatly 

placed in order

organized files, books, documents-

What tf is this an office or a dorm room?????

well whatever-

He thinks that this is the perfect opportunity to bake things.

With you!

Well, truthfully he can’t really bake as well as Trey but he tries,

and if you are by his side baking,

he feels a little bit more confident, and a lot more happier!

Unbirthday parties can’t be carried out since

ya know,

no social contact :’)))

so, he’ll just have daily unbirthday parties with you!

And lemme just tell you,

after so many hours of baking,

he’s getting the hang of it-

And you realized he’s actually really good in setting a tea party atmosphere.

Like he knows how to arrange the teacups,

he prepared frickin’ napkins my lord this Ciel Phantomhive kid is extra-

But not going to lie, 

It’s really pretty the set up.

AND HE GOT THEM ROSE PETALS ON THE TABLE-

EVERYTHING IS ARRANGED SUPER PRETTY-

Buuuut, his baking still needs some work going-

D A N G THO-

“RIDDLE, THAT’S A LOT OF SUGAR-”

“Oh? R-really? Didn’t it say 5 tablespoons?”

“You poured 5 whole cups-”

“Ah-”

Trey Clover

Listen,

being stuck with Trey is the best option-

He bakes

A SHIT TON OF PASTRIES-

And I’m not saying he baked a lot of pastries equivalent to how much he bakes for unbirthday parties-

Oh no non no-

It’s frickin’ thrice the amount-

THE ENTIRE ROOM SMELLS LIKE EVERY SWEET PASTRIES OUT THERE-

He experimented a lot-

From baking macrons, chiffon cakes, frickin’ candy art-

You are blessed when you’re stuck with him, s/o-

seriously-

“Holy shit Trey, what is that??”

“Oh, I’m just carving the chocolate.”

“Honey, that looks like you just created Van Gogh shit, that looks fancy and really hard to do-”

“Sugar, I’ll make your food look and taste like ‘Van Gogh shit’ for you anytime.”

“OH MY SHIT YOUR SO SWEET, I CAN’T-”

Cough cheesy Trey cOuGH

And he’s like a housewife not gonna lie-

he wakes up earlier during quarantine surprisingly, 

maybe cuz he always finish schoolwork MUCH earlier now-

and he doesn’t have much to carry out as Vice dorm-

so he wakes up early,

and cooks frickin pancakes whatever delicious shit that comes to mind for you to eat for breakfast

cbdhidcchnff hnf

W H A T-

Also brush your teeth after you finish eating-

Cater Diamond

Man-

Cup noodle game is strong-

Unhealthy, yes-

but you do all sorts of things with it,

to which he’ll always post on Magicam.

Like you guys make curry instant noodles,

salad with the dry instant noodle bits for salad toppings--

list goes on my dude-

bruh-

and not only that, 

he posts all those like daily life at home (or in this case his dorm room-)

and he’s gonna be posting about E V E R Y T H I N G

From what you both had for breakfast, what you guys did at 3 pm,

Every. Second. Of. Being. Stuck. With. You.

B R U H

“CATER, I LIKE SOME PRIVACY-”

“I know, that’s why I’ll post it in my private account which is my diary btw~”

“First off, your private account has like at least 1000 people in it, secondly, buy yourself an actual book diary, and thirdly, I’m liTERALLY IN THE TOILET WITH UGLY ASS BAGGY PANTS TRYING TO FIX THE LIGHTS-”

“BUT BABE-”

Because of this incident, you bought him a plain writing book online.

You know he wouldn’t like writing with a lot of words,

soooo

Scrapbooking! *Cue the glitter filter*

he has so much fun!

Decorating, pasting all the photos he took with you and printed them out.

He loves it so much! Being stuck with Cater is productive and maybe a little tiring, but hey! Works for the both of you!

Deuce Spade

This boy-

Oh my god-

He’s absolutely so sweet and adorable-

I can’t-

He’s not the best, he knows,

sometimes he wonders why you would ever want to be stuck with him-

but this man puts in more effort than he can to make sure you are comfortable during the pandemic time-

like his cooking went from a C to S class dear-

Although they are egg based dishes, there is

A  w i d e variety in each dish-

And it really tastes good-

But you can tell he’s really tired trying to perfect his dish,

he wished he was Trey my lord-

DONT EVER THINK THAT BBY

YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE VSJVSWEADFGFHFTYKV-

Cuddle him please,

every day at every hour at every second just pleaseeeee

he needs it-

and he wants it-

but is just shy about it-

GIVE HIM THE CUDDLES-

ahem sorry-

continuing,

he surprisingly took up knitting and wanted you to join in after browsing online for more recipes to which randomly stumbled upon knitting basics videos

So arts and crafts time!!! ahh children-

He knits a very simple cloth at first-

which escalated to become scarves, blankets , mittens, sweaters like-

w o a h

Grandma Deuce-

and he also found these charity organizations who sold homemade products online to collect money to raise funds to give to people in need.

Let us put it as it’s not a scam website.

Soooo he published some of his hand made scarves, blankets and sweaters online-

And I swear this man is so sweet I can’t-

“Well, we have to do something to help these people! And they’re giving us a chance to give them our support!”

YES DEAR U ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

YOU ARE GONNA BE MODEL STUDENT EACH YEAR-

He also used the first handmade blanket he knitted with you as your official sleeping blanket.

With shit tons of cuddles.

Being stuck with Deuce is honestly just so sweet and wholesome.

Ace Trappola

This idiot-

This absolute h e a t h e n-

I just wish you good luck man-

He just absolutely LOVES to prank you.

“ACE WHAT THE FUC-”

“What the fck what?”

“YOU PUT THIS WATER BALLOON ABOVE MY DOOR DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Huh? What makes you think that?”

“WE’RE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONES IN THIS ROOM WHAT YOU MEAN HOW WOULD I FCKING KNOW-”

You just gotta survive by pranking him too.

Also this man-

LOVES

G A M E S

And not just video games,

Oh non no no-

Hide and seek, chase-

ya name it.

At every hour-

You also play virtual UNO with the whole Heartslaybyul gang sometimes-

“WTF GIVE ME A GREEN-”

“AHAHAHAHHAHA-”

“Riddle, lower your microphone level-”

“TREY SHUSH, I’M NOT LETTING THAT ACE BASTARD WIN, SO I WNT THIS STUPID CARD DECK TO GIVE ME GREEN-”

*Pulls a green card*

“FINALLY!”

*You put in the green reverse card*

*Switch back to poor Riddle lmao*

“NOOOOOOOOO, WTF GIVE ME A GREENNNNN-”

“AHAHAHA NICE ONE S/O-”

Cuddles

every night-

moving on,

He’s also the type who will make memes of the two of you when being stuck together lmao-

As for food-

either take out or you cook-

He cannot be trusted with the kitchen-

he can’t take one step in it no joke-

All in all, being stuck with Ace is really just crack level head energy soraing through the sky with his love dovey antics.

[cacoetheswriting]

christmas alphabet - spencer reid

a/n: request: this is just fluff, no warnings in place. enjoy!! 

A = After Dark (a date after dark? late night cuddles? surprise mistletoe?)

On cold winter evenings, when Spencer is not travelling for work, the two of you like to cuddle up on the coach under a fluffy blanket. A cup of hot chocolate in hand; with an even number of marshmallows each. The night is either spent discussing both of your days in detail or watching old Christmas classics, like Miracle on 34th Street for example. 

B = Baking (how does baking sweets go? for or with someone?)

The brunette doctor is skilled at literally anything he sets his mind to, but baking is not his forte. The kitchen always ends up a huge mess, and whatever concoction he was attempting is dangerous to eat. However, Spencer enjoys baking with you. Together you make a quite the team and the gingerbread cookies are a big hit with the rest of his team.

C = Cold (it’s cold out! how do they react to the freezing winter air? does someone else help with fighting the cold?)

Spencer enjoys the lower temperatures, they’re a nice contrast to sunny stuffy Las Vegas where he grew up. You on the other hand struggle with the crispy icy air and often find yourself stealing his scarf for extra warmth when you’re out and about. 

D = Date (christmas date! how is it asked? where do they go?)

You ask the brunette agent to go ice-skating with you. Spencer is reluctant at first but you hold onto him tight and any fears wash away. You whirl together around the rink in slow circles, simply enjoying the moment. 

E = Evening Dance (a night at a ball? or maybe just silly dancing in the kitchen?)

Spencer catches you one wintery morning humming along to Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley. He gently takes your hand in his and the two of you slowly sway around the living room.

F = Fireplace (how do they spend their time by the fire? hang stockings? fall asleep on each other?)

The two of you bought stockings with your initials, a lovely red pair with a fuzzy top. Since there is no fireplace at your place Spencer hung them underneath your mounted television. And whenever you feel like cozying up on the coach together you simply turn on a ten-hour fireplace video on YouTube.

G = Grateful (how grateful are they to spend time with others? enjoy being alone or with others?)

The hazel-eyed doctor is extremely grateful to spend time with you, not only over the holidays. While he likes the occasional meet-up with his team for after work drinks at their favourite bar, Spencer definitely prefers spending time with you alone. He's loves comfortable company more than anything.

H = Hosting Family (how does family work? are they invited to others, or stay with their s/o?)

While Spencer would love to spend Christmas with his mom, his unpredictable hours don’t usually allow him to make set plans. Therefore instead you decide that you will spend the holidays with your family, and if by chance he is free to join he will. 

I = Invitation (a sudden invitation comes up! what’s it for? how do they react?)

An invitation arrives for dinner with his team and their loved ones on a faithful Saturday in December. Of course Spencer asks you to accompany him; he wouldn't have it any other way. You’ve met his friends before so you shouldn't be nervous, but yet for some reason you were. This occasion felt different somehow. More intimate. 

J = Just In Time (the present arrives just barely in time! how do they rush up to hand it to them? do they wait for the perfect time?)

Spencer spent weeks trying to decide what to get you for Christmas. Nothing he thought of seemed right. You weren’t a material person, which is one of your many qualities he adored. He wanted your present to be thoughtful, he wanted something meaningful. About a week before the holidays, he came across a website that sold customisable star maps. He ordered one then and there - a map that showcased the stars the night you first met.  

K = Kiss (how do they react to a kiss? flustered? happy? surprised?)

When Spencer first kissed you it was gentle, almost timid. As if he was afraid to fully let himself go. Now when he kisses you he does so with all his might and immense passion. He cups your face with his hands and pulls you in as close as humanly possible. 

L = Lights (christmas lights are important! how do they hang them? around the house? on the tree? outside? what kind of shenanigans go on?)

The brunette agent had given you a key to his apartment. One night in late November he comes home after working a case to find you already there, tangled in a rope of lights. You tried to surprise him by slightly decorating his place for the holidays, but instead found yourself entwined. Spencer can’t help but chuckle at the sight. He sets off to help you; after taking a picture to commemorate this precious moment.

M = Mistletoe (how do they react to suddenly being placed under a mistletoe with their crush/lover?)

He gets flustered at first, mainly because you’re in public and everyone is watching. But the second your lips brush against his the whole world dissolves and he gets completely lost in you. 

N = Naughty or Nice? (how has your character been this past year? are they a trickster or a good of heart?)

Definitely good of heart. Spencer is one of the kindest people you have ever met. He’s caring, he always puts you first and stops at nothing to make you happy. The only time you could describe him as naughty would be in bed.

O = Opening Presents (how do they react to opening presents?)

Eagerly, although very neatly. Even though he is extremely excited to see what you got him, the hazel-eyed doctor rips off the wrapping paper so precisely that it is actually good to reuse.  

P = Packaging (wrapping presents is never easy. how do they fair?)

Packing presents with Spencer is just as organised. All the pieces of the festive wrapping paper are a perfect size for each gif and the ribbon is measured before cut to the correct length; so that there is no waste. 

Q = Question (how do they confess? is it the big question, or something smaller but just as intimate?)

“Y/N?” Spencer catches your attention. You look up from the book in your lap and meet his honey gaze. “Yes?” “How would you feel about spending next years holiday in a cabin somewhere? Just the two of us?” A smile spread across your facial features. “I thought you didn't like to plan that far ahead, especially around Christmas time.” You teased. He smiled back at you. “I don’t, but with you I can break a few of my rules.”  

R = Relaxing (how do they relax with their s/o? the best ways? the cutest?)

Watching Christmas movies, cooking, discussing various topics, or sitting in comfortable silence and reading. Simply enjoying each others company. 

S = Snow (how do they like the snow?)

Spencer likes to share uncommon facts about the snow; more than the weather phenomenon itself. “Snow is actually translucent, not white.” The brunette doctor chimed as the two of you looked out the window admiring the first snowfall of the season. “It’s the light reflected off a snowflake’s faceted surface that creates its white appearance.” 

T = Tree (how do they decorate their tree?)

Gold fairy lights intertwined with a simple white wreathe hung loosely around the Christmas tree at your apartment. Mixed between the more traditional-looking gold bobbles were various fancier ornaments that reminded both of you of your relationship, such as: a stack of books,  R2-D2, fast food items, gin bottle, a coffee cup. 

U = Undying Love (how did they fall in love? what was the real moment they found out?)

Your constant smile and positive outlook on life, not to mention your delicate beauty, lured Spencer in right from the start. He fell for you hard and pretty early into your relationship. And now not a day goes by where he doesn't tell you just how much he loves you.  

V = Villa (how is it in their house? festive? normal? candles?)

Apart from the decorations you had plopped around, the doctors apartment remains normal. The two of you have focused more of your time and energy decorating your place - from the living room to the kitchen and bedroom, there is even a miniature Santa in the bathroom. 

W = Wish (what is their biggest wish for the coming year? or in general?)

Spencers biggest wish for the coming year would be to keep evolving in this relationship with you. He hopes to grow even closer with you, learn more about you and explore the world with you (if he ever gets the time off work). 

X = eXcitement (general excitement about christmas? love it? hate it?)

He’s excited because you’re excited. Seeing you so happy around the holiday season warms his heart and he hopes he’ll get to cherish these moments with you for years to come. 

Y = You (how does their s/o react to them being beautiful? handsome? to them in general in the christmas season? how in love are they?)

The brunette doctor constantly reminds you how perfect you are. Whether you’re dressed up for an evening at the bar with friends or simply sitting on the sofa in a matching wintery pyjama set, Spencer will be sure to point out just how beautiful you look. You of course do the same. There is something about hearing you say how handsome he looks that makes his heart skip a beat. 

Z = Zzzz… (how do they sleep? lots of blankets? none? cuddled closely to their loved one?)

Wrapped up in a large duvet and blankets mainly because you get cold during the night. Spencer’s arm is placed gently yet firmly around you. He holds you close, quietly snoring into the crook of your neck. 

-

masterlist

[jawabear]

Agent “Jack Daniels” Whiskey NSFW Alphabet

Not my GIF

A/N: Here is my NSFW Alphabet for the Yee Haw daddy himself, Agent Whiskey. The character of his that made me fall in love with Pedro. As with the others, these are just my personal views of his character so the may differ to yours, so please be respectful of mine and others views of characters :) Sorry for any mistakes.  

Genre: Smut

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of sex, nothing too much, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: An A-Z of Agent Whiskey’s bedroom antics

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s soft after sex. He’ll always hold you in his arms, comfort you, take care of you. Jack is just an all round sweetheart and would do anything for you. He’ll shower you with kisses until you fall asleep, or you tell him you have to get up.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Whiskey loved everything about your body. But especially your hips. He loves when you sways them to tease him, he loved to hold them while he takes you from behind or holding them as he pulls you down on to his dick. He loved to hold them while pressing kisses to you. He loves your hips.

On him, he likes his arms. He likes when he can fully wrap them around you to hug you. He likes when you grabs them when he’s fucking you. The way you grip hold of his biceps...

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes to finish inside you or onto your body. He loves to see you covered in him and he loves to watch his come slip out of you. There’s something about seeing your chest covered in his come that is almost endearing to him, the fact that you feel comfortable enough with him to allow him to paint your precious body with his mess just makes him feel lucky.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

You were a fresh agent when you first met. He wanted you from the first day he saw you. One day he caught you in the training room of Statesmen, seeing you punch he he’ll out of a punching bag got him worked up. Seeing you in those tight leggings that perfectly outlines your ass, your white tank top, and seeing the sweat drip down your cheek and down to your neck. He loved the way you moved. Wondered what kind of moves you would use on him, wondered if he could make you sweat like that.

And he couldn’t help but get off by watching you. Giving him one of the best orgasms of his life. He was so incredibly turned on by watching and listening to you.

But because it was before you both established your relationship, he didn’t feel right in telling you. But he knew he probably should...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Jack knows how to touch a woman. That’s for damn sure. He knows exactly how to make you scream and moan. He’s very experienced, it’s more the relationship side that he’s a little new to. Since his past lover he hadn’t allowed himself feelings but you are definitely an exception.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loved when you rides him. He loves when you takes control. Seeing you come undone on top of him makes him crazy. He feels quite proud that you are able to feel so good from him. And who wouldn’t want to ride a real cowboy?

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Jack can be a little goofy during sex. He loves to make you laugh. He thinks your laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds on earth. But most of the time, sex is a time for passion and seriousness. He loves to watch you under him or above him, he loves to whisper sweet words to you about how much he loves you and how good you feel.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s pretty tidy down there. Neatly trimmed and clean.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Jack is pretty romantic in the moment. It will usually be him that makes the first move and he will be slow and loving to entice you into bed. His hands slowly roaming your body and pressing kisses to your neck and touching all the spots he knows drives you crazy.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jack doesn’t mind the occasional jack off. But he much prefers to have you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sub/Dom. Both ways. As mentioned before, he loves when you take control, and when you take care of him. He loves how strong you are and he loves when you use that strength on him, choking him for example makes him wild. But on the other hand, he loves to have you at his mercy, begging him to let you come. Jack is a switch.

He is the yee haw daddy so I guess I should mention his daddy kink.

Maybe whips too, but like, not using it on you as such, tying you up with it. He loves when you are tied to the bed, he loves to see you tug against your restraints as he teasingly tortures your body.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bed is his favourite. He can do so much with you in the bed. And it’s comfortable.

But he loves to take you in the shower. He loves to fuck you against walls, especially in the shower. Seeing your body wet and soapy is a huge turn on of Jack. He loves to pin your wrists against the wall as he fucks up into you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Pretty much anything you do. But is especially fond of when you wear a nice pair of lingerie. He likes when you get all “dolled” up for him as he likes to put it.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Jack would not be up for any kind of activity where he is to share you with someone else. So no threesomes. And he does not want to hurt you. The idea of leaving a permanent mark in your body is horrible to him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Jack loves to watch you go down on him. Your mouth is amazing. He looses track of everything when you have him in his mouth, he’s useless in this situation. So it’s fun for you to tease him, he’ll do anything when you have him like that. He is literally you’re slave at that point.

But he won’t say no to getting between your legs. He practically makes out with you down there. Making you feel all kinds of pleasure.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Jack definitely prefers to take it slow. Rolling his hips into you. Making you gasp and whimper for more. But he can go fast. It all depends on you. He likes to let you set the tone for the bedroom. But he definitely prefers to go nice and slow.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t mind them. If you do something to rile him up while at work he’ll take you quickly over his desk or in the training room, but he doesn’t favour them, he likes to take his time with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Jack is willing to take a risk if you are. He’s happy to experiment with what you want to do.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Jack could go a few rounds. He’s not as young as he would like to be, but usually he fucks you so good, you only need to go one round. Unless he’s especially turned on and then he will go for more, faster and rougher rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any personally. But when you brought to light the pleasure of using a vibrator, he was immediately sold...sometimes he uses it when he’s alone. After one use, he is slightly addicted to the sensation...

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jack LOVES to tease. Like I said, he loves to have to tied up as he teasingly tortures your body. His hands will glide lightly over your skin, he will place light kisses to your body, making you squirm and beg him for release.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Jack never shuts up really. He is always whispering praise to you. He’ll always tease you with his words to make you whimper for him. He grunts and groans but those are usually pretty quiet, he wants to hear you more then himself.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

I think Jack would be a very passionate and sweet lover. Like I said, he likes to let you set the tone for the bedroom, and I think that could mainly be because he doesn’t want to do anything to make you run away. So by letting you start you off in the bedroom, it puts his mind a little at ease.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Jack is big. And he knows it. He loves to watch as he slips his big dick into your tight hole. He loves to watch your face as he stretches you out. He’s long and he’s thick and you love it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty high. Not insanely but it’s high enough that he could take you at any point.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Jack’s job really takes it out of him so he’s pretty quick to fall asleep after sex but not before he’s made sure that you are okay.

Masterlist

29/05/20

[justforbooks]

Christopher Latham Sholes was born on February 14, 1819. He was an American inventor who invented the QWERTY keyboard, and, along with Samuel W. Soule, Carlos Glidden and John Pratt, has been contended to be one of the inventors of the first typewriter in the United States. He was also a newspaper publisher and Wisconsin politician.

Typewriters with various keyboards had been invented as early as 1714 by Henry Mill and have been reinvented in various forms throughout the 1800s. It is believed that Sholes drew inspiration from the inventions of others, including those of Frank Haven Hall, Samuel W. Soule, Carlos Glidden, Giuseppe Ravizza and, in particular, John Pratt, whose mention in an 1867 Scientific American article Glidden is known to have shown Sholes. Sholes' typewriter improved on both the simplicity and efficiency of previous models, which led to his successful patent and commercial success.

Sholes had moved to Milwaukee and became the editor of a newspaper. Following a strike by compositors at his printing press, he tried building a machine for typesetting, but this was a failure and he quickly abandoned the idea. He arrived at the typewriter through a different route. His initial goal was to create a machine to number pages of a book, tickets and so on. He began work on this at a machine shop in Milwaukee, together with a fellow printer Samuel W. Soule They patented a numbering machine on November 13, 1866.

Sholes and Soule showed their machine to Carlos Glidden, a lawyer and amateur inventor at the machine shop who was working on a mechanical plow. Glidden wondered if the machine could not be made to produce letters and words as well. Further inspiration came in July 1867, when Sholes came across a short note in Scientific American describing the "Pterotype", a prototype typewriter that had been invented by John Pratt. From the description, Sholes decided that the Pterotype was too complex and set out to make his own machine, whose name he got from the article: the typewriting machine, or typewriter.

For this project, Soule was again enlisted and Glidden joined them as a third partner to provide funding. The Scientific American article (unillustrated) had figuratively used the phrase "literary piano"; the first model that the trio built had a keyboard literally resembling a piano. It had black keys and white keys, laid out in two rows. It did not contain keys for the numerals 0 or 1 because the letters O and I were deemed sufficient:

 3 5 7 9 N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 2 4 6 8 . A B C D E F G H I J K L M

The first row was made of ivory and the second of ebony, the rest of the framework was wooden. Despite the evident prior art by Pratt, it was in this same form that Sholes, Glidden and Soule were granted patents for their invention on June 23, 1868 and July 14. The first document to be produced on a typewriter was a contract that Sholes had written, in his capacity as the comptroller for the city of Milwaukee. Machines similar to Sholes's had been previously used by the blind for embossing, but by Sholes's time the inked ribbon had been invented, which made typewriting in its current form possible.

At this stage, the Sholes-Glidden-Soule typewriter was only one among dozens of similar inventions. They wrote hundreds of letters on their machine to various people, one of whom was James Densmore of Meadville, Pennsylvania. Densmore believed that the typewriter would be highly profitable, and offered to buy a share of the patent, without even having seen the machine. The trio immediately sold him one-fourth of the patent in return for his paying all their expenses so far. When Densmore eventually examined the machine in March 1867, he declared that it was good for nothing in its current form, and urged them to start improving it. Discouraged, Soule and Glidden left the project, leaving Sholes and Densmore in sole possession of the patent.

Realizing that stenographers would be among the first and most important users of the machine, and therefore best in a position to judge its suitability, they sent experimental versions to a few stenographers. The most important of them was James O. Clephane of Washington D.C., who tried the instruments as no one else had tried them, subjecting them to such unsparing tests that he destroyed them, one after another, as fast as they could be made and sent to him. His judgments were similarly caustic, causing Sholes to lose his patience and temper. But Densmore insisted that this was exactly what they needed:

This candid fault-finding is just what we need. We had better have it now than after we begin manufacturing. Where Clephane points out a weak lever or rod let us make it strong. Where a spacer or an inker works stiffly, let us make it work smoothly. Then, depend upon Clephane for all the praise we deserve.

Sholes took this advice and set to improve the machine at every iteration, until they were satisfied that Clephane had taught them everything he could. By this time, they had manufactured 50 machines or so, at an average cost of $250 (equivalent to almost $5,000 in 2020). They decided to have the machine examined by an expert mechanic, who directed them to E. Remington and Sons (which later became the Remington Arms Company), manufacturers of firearms, sewing machines and farm tools. In early 1873, they approached Remington, who decided to buy the patent from them. Sholes sold his half for $12,000, while Densmore, still a stronger believer in the machine, insisted on a royalty, which would eventually fetch him $1.5 million.

Sholes returned to Milwaukee and continued to work on new improvements for the typewriter throughout the 1870s, which included the QWERTY keyboard (1873). James Densmore had suggested splitting up commonly used letter combinations in order to solve a jamming problem caused by the slow method of recovering from a keystroke: weights, not springs, returned all parts to the "rest" position. This concept was later refined by Sholes and the resulting QWERTY layout is still used today on both typewriters and English language computer keyboards, although the jamming problem no longer exists.

Sholes died on February 17, 1890, after battling tuberculosis for nine years. He is buried at Forest Home Cemetery in Milwaukee.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[mostly-anime-trash]

NSFW Alphabet - Katsuki Bakugou

I love reading these, so I wanted to make one of my own :)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Katsuki’s aftercare is more practical than anything. If it’s been a particularly strenuous session, he might lie there for a bit, panting next to you. But once he’s caught his breath, he’s up quickly and fetching a towel or tissues for clean up. And he won’t be the one to clean you up himself- he thinks you’re probably more efficient at it than him, so he’ll let you handle that- but he’ll always provide the supplies.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is his arms. Why do you think his hero costume is a tank top?? He spends a lot of time sculpting and developing his arms, and he wants to show off his hard work! His favorite body part of his partner’s is definitely their ass. It’s the first place his hands roam to when kissing his partner. During sex, if he’s not in a position to be able to see their ass, he’s definitely grabbing onto it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Katsuki has a fantasy of cumming onto his partner’s face, but he’s too embarrassed to ask. Maybe he’ll work up the courage one day, but for now he just hopes he’ll wind up in a situation that calls for it. Otherwise he’s not picky- he’ll easily oblige to his partner’s preferences (as long as he’s not gonna make no babies!!)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to collect his partner’s underwear, kind of like trophies. Not all of them, but a few select favorites. He always has a pair in his backpack, and he’s slightly paranoid that he might accidentally pull them out with his book in class- although he’s not sure whether he’d be more embarrassed or proud in that moment.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Katsuki is surprisingly inexperienced for someone with so much confidence. His bold personality tends to scare intimidate most potential partners, so he’s learned everything he knows from the 1 or 2 partners he’s had. However, he’s a quick learner and competitive as hell, so of course he wants to be the best, at everything. He lets his intuition (or is it primal instinct?) get him started and relies on his partner’s body language to guide him the rest of the way.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. A position that allows him to watch his partner’s ass, grab onto his partner’s ass, and take control? Sold.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

This boy is serious as hell. He wants to get everything just right, so if there are any fumbles or blunders in the bedroom, he is more likely to get flustered than to just laugh it off. After being with his partner for a while, he’ll warm up to the idea of teasing, but mostly he’s just focused on trying to knock their socks off.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Katsuki definitely doesn’t shave bare. He thinks it makes him look stupid as hell, so he prefers to keep his pubes trimmed short instead. He is so fixated on impressing his partner and not embarrassing himself that for the first several months, he keeps it meticulously groomed. He’s obsessive about it, so much that he’ll even make excuses to avoid sex if he feels he’s not tidy enough, and then just jack off angrily at home later. (Is it an insecurity thing?) Once he’s more comfortable in the relationship though, he’ll go longer periods between grooming, although rarely more than an extra quarter inch or so.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Katsuki isn’t necessarily romantic, per se. He is very attentive to his partner however. His ego couldn’t handle the blow of being bad in bed, so he needs to make sure his partner is enjoying themselves before he can enjoy himself. He’s secretly just a giant baby who seeks validation as much as anyone else.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

This boy’s sex drive is high af and you know he jacks off on the daily at least. Katsuki has an incredible amount of will power and he could restrain himself if he wanted to, but he’s also impulsive as hell and he doesn’t see masturbation as bad or shameful, so he indulges. Plus with his tendency to fixate on things, he often finds himself unable to concentrate if he’s sexually frustrated, so he’ll masturbate just to be able to think clearly again. You better believe this boy is the king of procrasturbating when he’s supposed to be studying.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Bondage. Katsuki is a control freak, of course his kink is bondage. He won’t ever mention it and he won’t try anything until he feels comfortable that his partner would be open to it. Then he’ll experiment with it slowly- pinning up his partner’s arms against the wall during a steamy makeout session, pulling their shirt over their head and wrapping it around their wrists during sex, tugging their hair while he fucks them from behind. If it’s well received, he’ll be investing in some full bed restraints in no time.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Katsuki likes to fuck in the shower. Something about it just feels raw to him. You’d think with his favorite position being doggy that he’d like nothing more than to have his partner bent over, palms pressed against the tile, taking him from behind buuuuuuuut *surprise* he actually prefers to hold his partner up, hands under their ass, and fuck them against the shower wall. He tends to be a bit more animalistic in the shower.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Phewwww boy, nothing lights a fire under Katsuki’s ass like a little competition. He wants to be THE best. Any sort of teasing from his partner, and Katsuki is ready to pin them down and show them exactly what he’s capable of. He’s also a sucker for seeing his partner in clothing that hugs their assets. He’ll be pawing at them all day until he can finally get them alone and rip their clothes off.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesome. He might like to show off his partner, but he doesn’t like to share them. Plus he might be a teensy bit insecure they’ll enjoy sex with the other person more than him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Katsuki really, really enjoys receiving oral. It feels great of course, but more than anything he loves to see his partner on their knees, looking up at him with his cock in their mouth. Somehow, that’s when he truly sees how much they desire him. He like giving too, as he feels he can get a more accurate sense of his partner’s level of enjoyment. He gets off if they get off.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast or slow, but always hard- he makes sure that every thrust counts. His pace is moderate, usually on the fast-side. When he’s fully consumed by passion (which is almost every sexual encounter), he wants all of his partner, and he wants it now.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Katsuki’s a big fan of quickies, especially when he’s sexually frustrated. And let’s be honest, he basically always frustrated. But he’s never one-sided. He makes sure his partner gets off too.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Risk excites the fuck out of Katsuki, although he’d likely be mortally embarrassed if he ever got caught. Storage closet, bathroom, car parking lot… he wants to try it all, but it will probably take some encouragement or teasing from his partner first. More than anything though, Katsuki gets off on his partner almost getting caught. He likes to tease and pleasure them while they’re talking on the phone or when there’s someone just on the other side of the door.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Katsuki will go as long as his partner can. It’s rare for him to find someone with as much stamina as him, so he is happy with whatever they can afford. The only exception is when he’s extremely tired, in which case he can usually only manage one round (and we all know Katsuki has a very strict bedtime).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t feel much of a personal need to use them, but he will eagerly use them on his partner. He’s no stranger to the cock ring, and he prefers when both he and his partner cum at the same time, so he’ll throw in a some extra vibrations if he feels he’s much closer to the finish line than they are.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once Katsuki has gotten comfortable with his partner, he loves to tease, to the point of his partner literally begging for him. This does depend, however, on how turned on he is already. His seriousness is directly correlated to his horniness, so if he’s too consumed by lust, he’ll get straight to business.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Katsuki is quiet in bed, aside from a few pants and grunts (because that’s what’s #manly or whatever, but mostly because he’s too terrified he’ll make a stupid embarrassing noise that will haunt him for the rest of his life). His partner can elicit some moans from him though, by nibbling on his ear or by gently pressing underneath his balls while climaxing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Katsuki thinks he has a fantasy of watching his partner masturbate in front of him, but truth is he’s way too damn impatient for that. Every single time he caves, unable to resist the urge to replace their hand with his and just do it his damn self. (He does it better anyway.)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We all know Katsuki is ripped, so let’s just get to the good stuff, shall we? This boy is #blessed. He’s a shower and a grower at 5″ soft and 7.5″ erect. His dick is pretty too, straight and curved slightly upward, with a few healthy veins. While his length is nothing to sneeze at, it’s his girth that’s impressive. It’s a good thing he wears those baggy pants (or is it?), because that outline is hard to conceal.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

H I G H. It’s unlikely he’ll ever find a partner that can match him, but regular sex with his partner (daily, please) keeps him satisfied. He’ll be crawling up the walls, resisting the urge to yank it every 30 minutes should he and his partner be separated by distance.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex usually gives Katsuki a zap of energy any time throughout the day, with the exception of close to bedtime. Then its zzzzzz lights out!

[marie-x-beaulieu]

( summer bishil, 30, cisfemale, she / her ) Have you seen MARIE-ANNE BEAULIEU around ? I hear they’re a AVTORITYET / ESCORT AT EDEN who can sometimes be CYNICAL & IMPULSIVE. But I also heard they can be INDEPENDENT & EFFICIENT if you catch them on a good day. They’re usually hanging around JAVA ADDICT in their spare time. I sure hope they’re alright! 

TW: drug mention, prostitution, murder, vague mention of child neglect

- B A S I C -

Name: Marie-Anne Beaulieu Nickname(s): Marie - she usually just goes by this. Age: 30 Occupation:  Avtorityet / Escort at Eden Affiliation: Vasile Birthday: May 28th Zodiac: Gemini Place of Birth: Paris, France Ethnicity: Mexican / Caucasian / Indian Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Languages Spoken: French (fluent - first language), Spanish (fluent) and Russian (the basics only)

- F A M I L Y -

Father: Unknown Mother: Bernadette (deceased) Sibling(s): None  Children: Henry (1 1/2 years old)

- A P P E A R A N C E -

Height: 5′6′’ Weight: 117lbs Hair Color / Type: Light brown, long and slightly wavy Eye Color: Dark brown Piercings / Tattoos: A few small tats here and there; tongue piercing, ears & cartilage piercings Best Features: Her smile. Pinterest Board: x

- P E R S O N A L I T Y -

(+) Independent, Reliable, Efficient, Loyal, Resourceful (-) Cynical, Impulsive, Aloof, Cold-Hearted, Selfish

- L I K E S / D I S L I K E S -

Likes:

Spending time with her son, Henry

Dancing

Drinking (she’s borderline a alcoholic)

Getting high (but only occasionally)

Having sex - m/f...doesn’t matter

Getting paid

Working for the Vasile

Killing

Being frugal, but also spending her hard-earned cash - she’s a bit of a walking contradiction with this one.

Dislikes:

Women & Child Abusers

Openly showing her emotions

Feeling her feelings

People in general, even though she works with them for a living

- B I O G R A P H Y -

Was born in Paris, France, to a single teenaged mother. Bernadette was sixteen when she had Marie.

Her mother was a runaway - she left home at fourteen after a fallout with her parents, and two years later, had Marie. To support herself and her daughter, Bernadette took up sex work - she did everything she could at the time, to earn money. She danced, she stripped and she sold her body. Got really heavy into drugs, and never really stopped.

Although they had a place to live, and she went to school like a normal kid, Marie still pretty much grew up on the streets of Paris. More specifically, in the red light district, as that was where her mother worked. She was exposed to pretty much everything a child shouldn’t be exposed to: neglect, sex, drugs, alcohol, violence...you name it, she very likely saw it go down.

Her mother often snuck her into the back of the clubs that she worked in, and while her mother went off to do her thing, she had the other girls watch Marie, collectively, hiding her in the dressing rooms.

Hands down, Bernadette Beaulieu was a terrible mother. She was selfish, childish and negligent. She never once showed even a little concern for her daughter and how being exposed to such an environment might possibly effect her. She’d already deemed Marie a lost cause, same as her.

Growing up in strip clubs and such places like that, and watching not just her mother but the other ladies, Marie pretty much learned the skills and how to acquire the proper tools of the trade: how to dance, do her makeup, and how to dress in a way that both enticed and intrigued the desired clientele.

Not that she put any of it to use immediately. It wasn’t until she was seventeen and her mother went missing for several weeks before her body was found floating in the Sein River (she’d been strangled to death), that Marie found herself having to make a living on her own. Just barely out of school and she was orphaned, homeless, broke and starving - it was then that she stepped onto a stage for the first time, more naked than she’d ever been in public before. 

First it was exotic dancing and then stripping, but when even that proved to not make her enough money to pay rent and food - as Paris was a notoriously expensive place to live - she started selling her body, and her time, becoming an escort. Started at the bottom, but quickly rose to being one of the highest paid and most sought after escorts in the district. She was young, beautiful, feisty...and the men loved that, apparently.

Marie strangely loved her job, more so than you’d probably expect, but then she grew up in the industry so it was all she knew. 

She loved sex, she truly did. She loved how powerful she felt during the act, even when she wasn’t the one completely in control. And fuck, did she love being the one in control.

She had the heart of a dominatrix, but when she smiled at you, you’d never know it, for she looked like a real softy. That said, she rarely smiled, so that wasn’t really a problem.

She killed for the first time a few months after she started working. It was in self defense, of course; a male client who decided that ‘rough play’ meant something entirely different. It wasn’t as difficult as she she thought it was, taking a life, nor covering up the murder - and she quickly became an expert at both.

She didn’t know it at the time, but her first kill hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she thought, but thankfully it wasn’t by the police, but rather a recruit for the Russian mafia, temporarily stationed in Paris. Impressed by her cleverness and instincts when it came to covering up her tracks, Yakov approached her and offered to mentor her, and train her more extensively in fighting and how to kill, with the full intent of recruiting her into the Vasile gang. It hadn’t taken her long to say yes to the offer.

After accepting Yakov’s offer to train her, they both agreed that continuing her work as a sex worker was not only a great cover but a great training ground. A lot of her targets frequented the red light district, which made it overall rather easy (and more fun) to lure them in.

At twenty-three - after six years of vigorous training with Yakov - she made her way to Chicago, where she went through the initiation, and finally becoming a marked Vasile and one of their assassins. 

Deciding to stay in the city, she once more became an escort as more for a cover than because she needed the money or the work.

Two years passed, before Marie met Malachi Reed, an older gentleman who worked at Forty-Three as a bartender. It wasn’t love at first sight, not by any means - Marie wasn’t the type of girl to fall in love so easily, or really show those kinds of feelings. To her, love was very foreign concept. 

In fact, up until she and Malachi started seeing each other, she had never actually been in a relationship. She’d gone on dates, sure, but nothing other than sex ever came of them. After all, not many men wanted to date a woman who slept with other people for a living - either that, or they offered to take her away and ‘give her a better life’, as if real life was some fucking fairytale that could be escaped so easily.

With Malachi, things were different, which was the only reason she even consented to the idea of dating him in the end. He had been very open-minded, and hadn’t been fazed by her being an escort, accepting that she was a woman simply trying to make a living just like everyone else.

She didn’t inform him about her main job, however. The fact that she worked for one of the main gangs in the city never so much as left her lips, in the two years that they were together.

A year into their relationship, Marie fell pregnant with her son, Henry. He’d been a awful surprise, in the best and worst possible way. She had never wanted a child, so the thought of motherhood had never appealed to her in the slightest. In her line of work, she’d always been careful, taken precautions, but for some reason being with Malachi had completely short-circuited her brain. 

She’d been downright furious when she had discovered she was pregnant, and she had stayed that way for pretty much the entirety of her pregnancy. It wasn’t until Henry was actually born and she was looking at her newborn son’s face for the first time, that the resentment finally melted away, only to be replaced by fear - knowing that she was now responsible for this little person that she’d stupidly and selfishly brought into the world. 

In the end, being a mother was hard work, but it was definitely rewarding and she couldn’t have asked for a more perfect little boy. That said, she would be the first to admit that there were days when she still had doubt and selfish thoughts of fleeing from the responsibility - because being a parent was hard as fuck and she didn’t always have the patience.

Of course, the new found joy of motherhood was quickly overshadowed by the disappearance of Malachi, not five months later. She had no idea where he was, or why he disappeared. Did he leave on his own? Was he killed? Caught in the gang war that was going on within the city? There was literally no clues. 

The only thing she could think of was that he’d willingly left...despite all of his stuff still being at their apartment. It beat thinking his body was possibly laying in a ditch somewhere, and it allowed her to feel something towards the situation that wasn’t overwhelming grief over the death of a beloved one (although she was still in denial that she’d loved him). She felt anger, and resentment. Towards Malachi, specifically, because he was the only one she could blame.

After his disappearance, Marie moved into the Vasile manor with Henry, and they’ve been there ever since.

- W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S -

Her missing boyfriend, Malachi Reed. Name can be changed, obviously. Anyways, this would be such a great connection that is open to so many plot possibilities. (Suggested FCs: Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Morgan, Ryan Guzman, UTP). He’d definitely be 32+

Vasile Connections - ALWAYS!

Co-Workers

Clients

Love Interest (someone to finally melt this little ice queen’s heart)

Friends

Enemies

Any other sort of connections, tbh - I’m literally open to everything!

[lethe-rpg]

Born Ulysses Davenport, donning half a dozen names across his life but for the most part; favoring the alias ‘Finch’ . For himself. When addressed by others, it’s more a name to him than any other. Which some say makes perfect sense, after all; he’s a shifter that specializes in avian forms. While his past is largely unknown to most, he was born the oldest of five children to a pair of self-titled entrepreneurs. More of a tool than a child, Finch’s first form nurtured with precision and care was that of a Pomeranian. A secret which he vows to take to his grave. A popular breed with those from all walks of life, but most noticeably…the wealthy.  Adorable, fluffy, fur as white as snow with baby blue eyes. Commonly sold time and time again more as an accessory than a pet (loathe as he to admit the times he was as a pet were more warm than any moment with his own flesh and blood). As the foot in the door, to observe and judge; make note of what lay within–it was a con he did so often he could do it in his sleep. His parents would descend and strip the homes of all their worth, and even abscond with the darling puppy itself time and time again. Eventually he learned other animal shapes, always the popular sort and by the time he reached his teen years (joined by several young siblings) he’d mastered three more shapes in the forms of more designer, rare and exotic pets for the 1%. The faces behind the con were posted in the form of a sketched portrait from former victims and passing acquaintances. For all the wealth and luxury they accumulated, they themselves lived in a simple home crammed to the brim with pilfered goods. A hoarder’s wet dream. A reward was offered, and at sixteen and the eldest of the Davenport brood; it was just enough to be worth turning on his parents.

‘But what of the bonds of blood?’ he had no such qualms, they were hardly a family–merely a well oiled machine. Designed to do one thing from day one, why his parents were so shocked that he turned on them; was beyond him. It’s what he’d been groomed to do. From there on one would think he’d try and strike out on his own, on a path towards a better and brighter future. His younger siblings drifted, attending various therapy groups before being funneled into the system–he was no different. But, he held no desire to remain under anyone else’s thumb; age be damned. At the earliest opportunity, he struck out on his own heedless of being a minor in a grown man’s world. He utilized the sparse contacts his parents had had, mostly to fence the odd item or so; and buried himself deep. Over the years, he became an esteemed criminal; primarily an information broker over some of the more heinous acts of cruelty, but he had a finger in every pie worth sampling. Finch earned himself a place on the FBI’s most wanted list, something he held close to heart with a form of pride. He had a close nest of fellow shifters he passed his tricks onto while they worked under him, favoring various avian forms, rodents, and the odd insect as well to listen; to observe and steal away secrets. Secrets that allowed him to cripple a criminal empire. Oops. He’d gotten in bed with a vampire both literally and figuratively. Though he preferred the literal aspect of their relationship, he was a creature of nature. The man was the head of a smuggling business that operated out of Europe and spanned the entire globe. The kind of operation that had been going on for decades, if not centuries; birthed from the golden age of piracy. 

And Finch up and destroyed a whopping sixty percent of it overnight. His fanged (ex) lover didn’t take kindly to this once the cat was out of the bag, caught with his hand in the cookie jar on board one of the vast shipping freighters. Finch endured a week of torture; the kind of nightmare stuff only someone who lived forever could come up with. He got lucky. Taking the form of an albatross he took to the waves figuring a death at sea was a kinder end than one of the many that awaited him deep in the bowels of a ship. Maybe it was the fear, maybe it was the pain; either way he managed to make it to land where he fell into a period of cat and mouse. Never before had he imagined himself in the role of a mouse (without some delicious cheddar coated secrets to peak his interest of course) and after one too many close calls over the span of several months he bit the bullet and went off the deep end. Domesticity. A new life. Lethe. The entrance interview was unlike any other, the lich representative seated shooting down every web he tried to spin. And so, he came clean. Admitted he’d not have come to their gates if he had any other choice, hung his head heavy in shame–grit his teeth to swallow the bitter pill. All he asked from them was a chance, a chance to live a new life–as if he hadn’t already lived nine, ten, twenty before. That was what the haven was all about wasn’t it? They allowed him to call it home, it was supposed to be temporary. But something wicked did lurk beyond the town’s borders and temporary…turned to three years.

Most aliases he favored involved associating with avian wordplay. He opted for Gilroy Twain. Terribly mundane. Just like him. More often, he goes by Gil; or simply Twain (no longer Finch) and he works as an event planner. Hell of a job change. He likes it, planning things; good and bad. Not every event was a celebration and while he’s been around the rodeo once or thrice prior–he’s never been so entrenched somewhere with such a  hefty supernatural population. He’s got something of a routine, he’s a regular at the Ground Up cafe where he orders the same thing every day. Treating himself prior meant extravagant vacations and designer clothes, now it’s a chocolate croissant once a week. He attends tai chi sessions multiple times a week at the local park, yoga sessions at the community center; he’s got a phone for business and a phone that’s never been so dry, for pleasure. The Everyman’s Event Planning is a very, very small business run out of the office space under his apartment. He works long days, can commonly be seen flitting about town always on the go. He keeps in a positive light with varying businesses across town to secure a supply line, “to support our local businesses” he’d claim, but really he wants to limit the amount of outside resources as much as possible; and when he does, he goes through a series of channels under yet another alias. For the most part, he’s perceived as something of a workaholic–taking very little time for himself outside of his morning coffee (and friday croissant). In fact, he has zero social media presence; he loathes having his photo taken so much that it comes off as an unnerving bout of paranoia. Bit of a poor sport for a business meant for the pizzazz of life.

The Riverborn are….concerning. In the sort of way a tragedy happening half-way across the globe might be. Cold, maybe so; but, by and large they aren’t much of his concern. Gil has avoided the police precinct and every member within it like the plague. Just in case his, or rather, Finch’s face, is plastered somewhere in some officer’s head who doesn’t believe second (never mind that the number is so far beyond that) chances stretch enough to cover all he’s had a hand in. That being said, he almost wishes he could…be one of them. To truly start anew. Wouldn’t that be something?

[hwangskz]

homeboy! | pizza boy!(han) jisung

i know i was supposed to post the merpeople! au first but !!!! i just wanted to post this ok (plus im sorry this is like,,, being posted after 2 or 3 months sjsjsksj)

• ur uni had opened this new pizza place there and u just wanted to go there really bad ok

• not only because the place was really cool!!!! or that it sold amazingly good pizzas!!!!!

• ur childhood best friend jisung was working there too (▰˘◡˘▰)

• he left ur town yEARS AGO to go to seoul

• so u missed him a shit ton ok

• so u walked into the pizza place as u were returning from the library somewhere at the evening when the place almOST closes

• the bell did a little "ting!" as u walked in and were greeted by 3 amazingly good looking guys

• "hello, ma'am! welcome pizzeria palace! what would you like to have?"

• "can i have one.... barbequed chicken fiesta? medium size."

• the guy nodded and yelled a "coming right up!" to u before taking down the list of things required and went to the kitchen

• there wasn't really any place to sit since they were probably packing up when u arrived

• aka there were no chairs and u were just standing there looking like a lost child

• "hello there!! sorry we had to keep our chairs in since we were about to close but.... u can sit here!"

• u turn around to find a guy behind u with his apron on and pointing at a chair behind him

• u were honestly too tired and exhausted to say no or basically anything so u sat down

• and there was just silence covering u both when he broke the silence

• "have i.... seen u somewhere...?"

• u turn to look at his face and inch towards him, causing his cheeks to go red, but he stayed where he was

• "u kinda remind me of this one childhood friend of mine who came to seoul a few years ago and now works here"

• u rest ur back on the chair once again when u were done speaking

• "is his name......... han jisung......."

• ⊙_⊙

• ur pretty sure u only feel oNE thing now

• P U R E C O N F U S I O N

• "yea........."

• he laughs out a cute little laugh

• but u won't back down by his cute ass laugh that kinda made ur heart go d o k i d o k i !!! (≖︿≖✿)

• "wait are u his stalker or smthg"

• he scans ur face for a second and laughs again and then stops and takes a breath to talk to u again

• "why would i stalk myself?"

• this is literally ur face after he said that

• (o_O)

• so u inch closer (again) to see if it's really jisung yk

• (⊙□⊙) holy mcdoublefucking nuts in the worLD

• "HOMEBOY HAN (°0°)!!!!"

• jisung can only laugh as he ruffles ur hair and responds

• "of course it's me, dumbass"

• yes u came back to that pizza place eVERY SINGLE DAY TO MEET JISUNG (✿◠‿◠)

• hey atleast u got extra cheese and meat for free,,,,,,,,,

• "jisung can i get one of my regulars extra che-"

• "i've literally memorised ur entire menu babe"

• calling each other names like "babe" is very common u know

• yall did it before too

• but,,,,,, why does it do something to ur heart whenever he says it

• like !!!!

• uR HEART IS IN A 911 CRISIS AND U MI G H T DIE BUT THAT'S OK IT'S FOR JISUNG !! :D !!

• little did u know he's been dying like that for a long time now

• also can i just say how shameless his headass is

• like every time u would walk in the place he would INSTANTLY know it was u and would yell

• "Y/N !!!!! MY BABE !!!!!!! LOOK AT HER !!!!!!! BLESS YO EYES AND LIVES CUSTUMS!!!!!"

• this probably started when u overheard a customer who looks like ur age, asking out jisung

• (u didn't see that but he looked in ur direction before replying to her)

• he turned her down

• but that didn't stop from the others to come at him too

• whenever yall are hanging out late at night

• an ongoing 2am supermarket raid (⌐■_■) for example

• someone hAS TO INTERFERE !!!!!

• "and omg the pizza in that place literally stin-"

• "jisung??????????? omg hi!!!!!!!"

• i mean they aren't really like those Annoying Girls Who Are In Love With You

• but u always feel very insecure yk,,,,

• like jisung could replace u with them anyday

• but one day jisung finally notices ur dull expression and he asks u about it

• "y/n. something's wrong, isn't it?" - jisung, as he pulls u towards him (lightly) with a serious expression

• this is just one of those million things u love about jisung

• the fact that he doesn't just ask someone right away. he waits to confirm himself and then he confronts them. and if they aren't okay with speaking about it, he'll just give them space

• but u did want to tell him

• so u told him about ur case of insecurity

• and jisung just hugged u really close and pat ur head as ur sigh comes out muffled since ur face was legit squished in his chest

• "y/n. i will never give up someone like you. okay? stop feeling so insecure."

• and he pulls away and i swear the way he looks at u

• the endearing look he gives u

• "you're perfect, y/n."

• sometimes u really think that he likes u because of all of those boyfriend material compliments he gives u and cuddling whenever he feels cold

• "y/n!!!! :(( !!!"

• "fine u big baby c'mere i'll give u ur cuddles"

• " :DDDDD "

• oh did i mention that he tried to that lady and the tramp kiss with u

• but it was actually pretty stupid

• no no there's no noodle

• OBVIOUSLY THERE'S NO NOODLE THAT'S WHY IT WAS STUPID ANYWAYS

• HE TRIED TO DO IT WITH A FRICKIN P I Z Z A

• yall were literally this | | close to kissing but somebody rang the doorbell and yeah it was felix coming to get jisung and take him home

• oh and yea felix would ALWAYS take ur orders when u came to the place ok

• he was even the first one who took ur order

• and it wasn't like jisung didn't wanna take ur order

• he was just too busy looking at u and hearing u talk and smiling like an idiot u know

• what a cute idiot :"))))

• so this cute idiot confessed to u one day

• and u could actually swear on ur left pink toe that u were actually crying because of that

• it was like any other day when he came to ur house with an entire box of pizza yk

• but when he passed it to u

• u were kinda suspicious because he would always fight to open the box first and get the best slice first

• but he gave u the box before so,,,,,,,

• whatever man ur hungry

• so u open the box and hOLY MC CRAPPING SHIT

• "what do u say..?"

• there were words formed with cheese

• “is this..... a confession...”

• jisung laughs out a shaky breath followed by him slightly nodding his head

• “yeah,,it is,,,”

• is it possible to say that u want to cry and hug him and pepper him with kisses all at the same time as u scream because that is exactly u feel rn

• and so many thoughts are running in ur mind

• about how he moved to seoul and u always thought he was joking about it to u until he really did

• and how much u missed the warm hugs he gave u 

• and how much u loved his silly humor and 

• when u found him

• happiness like old times surrounded u once again

• and maybe it’s all the emotions that were piled up for too long, because of which u are now a fucking crying mess

• well good job y/n

• “HHHHHHHHHH JISUNG I LIKE U TOO PLS UR WORDS WERE CHEESY  ENOUGH WHAT ARE THESE EXTRA CALORIES HHHHHHHH”

• jisung first takes his time to take in ur words

• but when he DOES

• this baby just bursts into laughter and hugs u so tightly

• “even with those calories, u will always be perfect to me baby (●´ω｀●)”

• and u just cry louder because WHAT DID U, Y/N L/N, EVER DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN AMAZING ASS PERSON IN UR LIFE HHHHHHH

• WHO CONFESSED TO U WITH A PIZZA THAT SAYS “I LIKE U ALOT!!!”IN CHEESE AND A SMALL HEART MADE OF SOME EXTRA MEAT

• “y/n now ur just making the pizza saltier w ur tears pls,,,,,”

• shut up no one gave u the right to add these many calories plus be this fucking adorable ok that’s double attack.”

[kob131]

New "So This is Basically X" video from Jello Apocalypse is on RWBY, and it's a bunch of pretty much crapping on the show.

(Note: read the Edit section for my recollected thoughts. I’d jus rewrite the post but that’d be like covering my mistakes)

… You know what? My dog just died so I am in no mood to tolerate this bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3vYbF3_TAk

A. ‘Added into the show at the last minute’ he says as his own fucking image directly states that the ‘last minute’ was the fucking Red Trailer. AKA the fucking psuedo-pilot. He had so many other chances like Neo or ABRN or the fucking Maidens but nope decided to do the ONE wrong thing.

B. ‘Hoitty Toitty Princess’ Yeah, because she was abused by her dad for years as well as watched her mother degrade into a lifeless husk. Again, could have made an actual point but decided to just spew out the most basic shit ever.

C. ‘Lose every fight she’s been in.’

*cough* WHITE TRAILER *cough*

Also: Fucking Missed Oppritunity: 3 *ding*

D. ‘Weiss hates Ruby’

That stopped in Volume 1, try again

E. ‘How many ears do they have?’

2 or 4

‘Human ears?’

Always

‘Animal ears?’

Sometimes

‘Neither?’

That’s you

‘BOTH?’

Sometimes

‘Why do some of them only have tails?’

Genetics

‘Humans are racist against the Lagoos’

Says the man who tried guilt tripping half the population through racism accusations.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 4 *ding*

E. What couldn’t find say bullshit to spew about Yang? Missed Fucking Opportunity: 5 *ding*

F. Those are fucking one offs characters. Homer’s Vegas wife isn’t referred to as a side character, why should most of these be any different?

Also: ‘Never explores any of these!’ *shows team CFVY who are getting their own fucking book*

Good to see you still suck at making a point.

G. ‘Show isn’t about the characters!’

We get it, you’re slurping the anti-RWBY crowd’s cock. Make a valid point that not everyone and their grandmother’s grandmother made years ago.

H. *tries citing Neptune, a character that had about twenty minutes of screentime total as ‘eating up’*

Are you gonna do SOMETHING worthwhile? Because these jokes fall flat with a basic knowledge of the show.

I. ‘It’s about the over the top spectacle fights!’

Which not only were far less frequent in other ‘similar’ shows but they sometimes just #ate up screentime.

Missed Fucking Oppritunity: 6 *ding*

J. *butt metal!*

*cites Flynt, a fucking JAZZ musician*

What’s next? ‘Durr, marvel movie orchestra? BAD1′

K. ‘durr, clipping issues!’

*Slaps Fist Of The Blue Sky: Re:Genesis onscreen*

Come back when you make a point.

L. Jello, at the 2:10 mark you’ve done nothing but either say the same standard bullshit (which gets disproven within a minute of research*) or make shitty Take That! jokes.

About fucking RWBY. Egoraptor’s Ocarina of Time and ScottFalco’s Pokemon videos are mocking the shit out of you because you somehow made a worse version of both, about a less subjective medium with a fucking barrel full of fish. Guess that ‘Vote’ video must’ve fried them braincells huh?

M. Dust is elemental gunpowder, how is such a basic concept too complex for you to handle?

N. ‘Steal Dust and never bring it up again!’

Probably because the ending of Volume 2 was the END GOAL of stealing the dust you dumbass.

O. The magic comes straight from the fucking gods, Semblance and Dust have been used in Remnant science. Or is my cheap ass phone magic because someone from the 17th century doesn’t know how it works.

P. *points behind Jello at the massive burly man with the title ‘Lord of the Rings’ on it’s chest*

Have fun with him.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 7 *ding*

Q. Wanna bet if the RWBY haters didn’t slurp Chibi’s cock he’d be bashing hibi instead of praising it.

R. *join the plot*

Ruby is the fucking plot.

S. So I’m guessing you’d call Hercules’ rage against Olympus and Hera ‘him getting a little mad?’

That’s okay, just like how you’d say your little ‘vote’ video was just ‘you having a little brainfart; amirite?

T. Ah yes, Volumes 1 and 2, which had the least defined characters, the most wasted screentime, the least plot, the least likablke versions of the heroes, the most side characters (INCLUDING NEPTUNE WHO YOU MOCK)-

Literally EVERYTHING you’ve spewed out your mouth was in the first two Volumes and 4 and 5 are the worst ones. Sure.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 8 *ding* (Should actually be about 8001)

U. ‘Speaking of garbage *which is a segway I could put anywhere in this video’-

Good to know you’re aware of the piss poor quality of the video. Now if only you’d learn to keep your trap shut.

V. Ozpin was never suppose to be morally grey, next.

W. …

*pulls out Qrow and Ruby and replaces it with Yang and Liar Bitch McMass Murd-I mean Raven.*

Wow, context kicks your ass.

X. Jello.

What is the plot of RWBY?

No ‘Well there IS no plot’ bullshit. Tell me. What. The plot. Is.

… You can’t can you? This is the fucking Vote video all over again. You’re talking about a subject you have no clue about, spouting off whatever you think will get you the most positive PR and did no research whatsoever, Except with the video so infamous you had to DELETE it, politics is an inherently difficult subject matter that is easy to screw up (well, not to your extent.)

This is a web show.

Made by two drunk interns and an animator who took inspiration from BLAZBLUE.

And you have NOT made a SINGLE valid point.

The closest you got was the lip movements but you CLEARLY weren’t talking about the Volumes where it mattered so fucking credit.

Y. Blah blah blah ‘Bumbleby bullshit because pander’

Z. Qrow: ‘Oh ad my sister sold me and the daughter she abandoned twice before to the literal devil. Also why I am saying the bird thing is a curse? I defended Ozpin. My sister is the one claiming it to be a curse. Because she wanted to get away from the immortal pseudo-Greek villian which is a common feeling most people would think to do since it appeals to the inherent pragmatism in humanity but I overcame it through my niece’s determination to do the right thing in the end because just being pragmatic and doing what is most likely to succeed goes against one of the few things that make human beings what we are!

… Now I’m gonna go say my political opinions like I’m an important figure and not a walking punchline only known for mildly entertaining content that has suffered such a drop the Simpsons are looking at me in pity because I have a massive ego. And then when people call me out, I’ll delete the video and mock them like the child I am.’

*cracks open a beer* I don’t care if that’s cruel. He wants to talk like he knows shit? He can take it.

Edit:

https://twitter.com/alle1304/status/1137340212315643904

Well I owe him an apology. Over thinking he was pandering to the hate mob as well as my stupid attitude.

However I still stand by a lot of what I said: He missed a LOT of opportunities to make a good point and instead went with the lowest common denominator stuff. Like with making the joke about Weiss hating Ruby. It’s not funny because the joke is based on heavily outdated information and is just blatantly untrue.

There’s a reason why his ‘Welcome to *Website*’ videos are funny. Because while it is an exaggeration of what happens on the websites, it’s still basically true. Humor works when it strikes hard, either by throwing something so absurd at you that you’re forced to laugh because you don’t understand it, so raunchy that you laugh at the absurdity in which something so wrong was said so earnestly or by saying something so true that you’re forced to laugh to make light of the situation.

Jello’s video doesn’t do any of that. It either says a bunch of basic stuff that doesn’t work with knowledge or is saying things in a satricial way that people , EARNESTLY say, basically invoking Poe’s Law on himself. (The law of ‘Without a clear indication, a satire of X can easily been taken as an earnest belief in X.’)

This isn’t to say I was justified in what I did: it’s just even in a rational state of mind, the video is too flawed to be funny.

(Also no, I don’t regret what I said about the Vote video.)

[chandeloor]

thirstycersei replied to your post: someone give me a reason to talk about the jaclyn...

could u do like a summary i have no idea where to start but i luv tea

bless u i LOVE spilling shit about people, esp those shown to be absolutely shit beings dakhgdhgkahdhdagsdg BUT

super short tl;dr: jaclyn hill’s lipsticks are very obviously contaminated with hairs, fibers, and even METAL and people are fr getting injured, but jaclyn is a shit person and has yet to recall them and has instead doubled down that her stuff is safe to use despite more evidence cropping up everyday that something is seriously wrong

i get all my beauty guru tea from the subreddit beautyguruchatter in case you want to look at all the links and stuff yourself, so here’s the link to the first megathread about this (theres also multiple youtube videos and stuff but i def do urge you to see for yourself whats going on!)

so long story short, a month ago jaclyn released the launch video of her new brand, jaclyn cosmetics, and its first launch are nude lipsticks. already we have an issue with the launch - people ordering the lipsticks are not getting them on time despite paying twenty (20!!) whole bucks for expedited shipping but like, okay thats not too horrible things happen

very VERY soon after that we get into the meat of the controversy. one girl first posted that as she was using one of her lipsticks, a weird gritty texture was emerging from the lipstick itself. jaclyn shot her down fast as fuck, calling her a liar and saying that the grittiness came from the girl’s own lips. but soon enough, social media (mainly twitter) was EXPLODING with people coming forward with: that same gritty texture issue, saying they got melted lipsticks, finding weird little spheres of SOMETHING (we just dead dont know) embedded in them, finding fibers/LONG hairs also embedded in them, seeing what appears to be black dots on the surface of the lipsticks, fingerprints, dented packaging like. GIRL. it is a  L O T

pretty pastel please even made a video where she found metal stuck in the surface of a brand-new lipstick, and explains that people are actually being cut and having severe reactions to jaclyn’s lipsticks (which, reactions to makeup are common as everyone’s skin is different, but combined with all the above it...isn’t looking good lol)

jaclyn made two videos: one on youtube where she explained (see: lied her ass off) that none of this was really her fault! her ingredients are fda approved! the lab did this and the lab did that! dont mind the people in the industry calling me out for lying! these lipsticks wont hurt you! (lul) and another one on instagram where she still tried to explain away all these issues and says shes giving everyone a refund, including tax and shipping

now the really, really big issue with all of this is that jaclyn has yet to recall these nasty as fuck lipsticks and thinks that her “best course of action” is to give everyone a complete refund. i do agree that everyone should get a refund, but she shouldve pulled these shits from the shelves the S E C O N D someone said “im finding white fibers embedded in my lipsticks” instead of trying to double down by saying that her product is safe and that her manufacturer is at fault.  for someone like jaclyn (who has had multiple other issues with her past collabs) who claims to be so hands-on and invested in her brand that she’s been working “five years!!” on, it is seriously abhorrent that she continues to allow these to be sold at all when people are literally getting hurt lmfaooooooo

there’s a lot more that i havent covered (like jaclyn’s mom going on the defensive like. two days ago on instagram only to delete her account) but this post is already long as fuck so if u wanna get into the rabbit hole i suggest starting on reddit and twitter, and even some news articles as multiple news sources have covered this at this point

[aces-to-apples]

Just got back from Venom

And I couldn't actually live-blog because No Wi-Fi but I did keep my memo app open the entire time and here's my stream-of-consciousness:

(too long; not gonna read: i will physically fight every single critic who gave this movie a bad review)

God this is a longass opening space shot

Wow shits on fire in the first 2 min

God none of these people have fucking seen fern gully

Riz. Riz, no. That accent. Your beautiful vooooiiiiiiice.

Bitch there's a door, that's so Extra

Oh wow not new york for a change

Omg tom hardy's voice is so Ugly

This entire conversation is so Preciously Assholish

I'm glad they aren't skating over how awful people in power are

Who is that girl? Is that... Nuala?

Eddie is such a gotdamn Sub(TM)

Bruhhhhhhhh not cool. Like i know that that's some illegal and immoral shit, but that ain't cool.

Mmm wow smooth deflection, she never actually got to ask her question

"Raised by british parents" tHEN WHERE IS YOUR BEAUTIFUL ACCENT

"Fake news" om-fucking-g

Why is the Pakistani guy the bad guy and why is the Black guy the Stern Supervisor

........i mean yeah i'm with anne on this one bro

HEXUS

oh fuuuuuuuck

Took venom six damn months to get to san fran??

OH BUNNY NOOOOOO

oh em gee one damn bunny rabbit and suddenly we're moving onto people?? No fucking wonder you're being buried in lawsuits

.......you're a nice damn dude, eds

Awww plant no

Okay but that all-black suit IS pretty hot, riz

Bruh. Bruh, you're literally a billionaire, you ain't the one suffering the "war, poverty, world on the brink of collapse"

H E X U S

y'know, on second thought, goa'uld symbiotes are actually kinda preferable

"You, whoever you are, you SUCK" *cackles*

Dude, eds, not cool, leave anne alone

Okay seriously though WHO IS ANNE WHAT IS SHE FROM??

girl not putting up with your shit, eds. Respect

B r u h you haven't sold that ring yet??

Girl IT IS THE BILLIONAIRES' FAULT THAT EARTH'S FUCKED UP

Girl you ain't never done a customer service job and it S H O W S

man turn off that damn shutter noise

"Good thing i play all that assassin's creed"

Bruh you hungry af

"EDDIE" "*SQUEAL*" not great first contact

Okay okay so the one that escaped the crash is NOT venom

OKAY BUT VENOM BEING SO ANGRY AT DEAD FOOD IM HOLLERIN THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OMG

THIS IS SO FUNNY IM CRYING THE FUCKING LOBSTER

oh no mri this will mot end well

Do Not eat the dog ven

Awww dan is so nice

"Bish we hungry" bruh you so fucking weird

IM CRYING OMG VEN YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH

okay listen ven i personally give you permission to eat this dickhead neighbor

"We've all been troubled" bruh shut the fuck up

🎶why the fuck you lyin'🎶

Oh my lord carl you dick

Eds: "man my consciencs voice got real fuckin weird since i got sick"

Ven: "you're making us look bad" OMG IM CRYING VEN I LOVE YOU

"Let's bite all their heads off" Ven you're so fucking Extra i love you

"Bring me back my creature" stfu they sentient

Ven's so offended by "parasite" im love

"YOU ARE WELCOME" such a polite boy

I love how venom spends like an hour in eddie and is immediately ride or die

Man how is drake planning on explaining his goon squad's shit to the cops

Ven is a chaotic bitch i adore him

GET 'IM, VEN

mmm yeah that water's cold bad plan ven

"You are a loser, eddie" venom omg you are so bad at human talking

WHO! IS! ANNE! THIS IS KILLING ME

"The arrogance" ahhh man the face i just made at that was so Ugly

"You want up? Well why didn't you just say" such a helpful boy

"PUSSY" IM S C R E A M I N G

HONEY WE GOT A WILHELM SCREAM

"I LIKE HER. GET IN." glad we all agree, babe

Venom: talk about your feelings, loser

"AWWW THAT'S NICE" in which venom is me

White t-shit+black jacket, riz out here serving looks

Venom: "I CAN FIX IT, I CAN HEAL YOU" Me: well somebody isn't good at the whole symbiosis thing huh

YOU ARE A BILLIONAIRE, YOU CAN FIX MOST OF THE SHIT WRONG WITH THE WORLD, SHUT THE F U C K U P

"Not so tough without your friend" ummmm no shit?

"Afoot"??

Eddie Brock: a Sub and a Monsterfucker

Venom: "mmm nope anne can't come i like her too much and she squishy"

"ON MY PLANET I AM KIND OF A LOSER, TOO, LIKE YOU" "what made you REALLY change your mind" "YOU DID, EDDIE" oh em gee, what a sweet boy

riot you a punk bitch

"PRETTY MUCH ZERO" ven baby i love you

Awww venny nooooo

Four-way fight, niiiiiiiice

Annie you gotdamn genius

Carl you punk bitch

Eddie: *kicks carl off the side of the platform" me: noice

VENOM BABY N O O O O

god i wanna know what venom said to anne

"SHE HAS NO IDEA WE'RE GOING TO GET HER BACK" "YOU BELONG WITH US, ANNIE" VENOM SWEETIE I ADORE YOU

"THIS THING LOOKS DELICIOUS" I A D O R E Y O U

"TATER TOTS AND CHOCOLATE" in which venom is me again

"P A R A S I T E? ? ? APOLOGIZE!!!"

.......eninem? r e a l l y

End credits scene: um.........whomst? is this?

-

In conclusion: MEET ME IN THE PIT, CRITICS

[spacebrick3]

Experiment S-80

People have been super curious about Sadie’s backstory, and I’ve been feeling unmotivated for any current WIPs, so…I’ve decided that I’m going to write some of her backstory now!

Tagging some people who might be interested; @lady-redshield-writes, @ratracechronicler, @no-url-ideas-tho, @cogwrites, @ken-kenwrites, @endlesshourglass, and @tawnywrites - this will be a kind-of series thing, so if you want to be tagged in future updates, just let me know!

NEW CHARTER EXPERIMENT S-80

FOR INTERNAL REVIEW ONLY

ORIGINAL GRANT PROPOSAL

SUBMITTED 02.03.2382

Livia Jensky, Nikolai Vukovic, Anna Myrr, Samuel Fostre, Nathi Okeke

Laboratory HYR773, Department of Bioengineering, University of Hrejburg, Hrejburg, Prechemyst, Upper Charter, 06659-132003-3P

——————————————————————————————————

Abstract: We study the possibilities of using wiring which utilizes the optic nerves to connect to the brain in order to create a more natural interface between the integrated circuits of the computer chips and neurological processes. Our research group has modeled the interactions between the data read on crystalline silicon (through the use of gallium-ion beams) and the same data which can be imprinted onto neurons. Our theoretical data can be found in our earlier paper, AKS-899.079.1, but a larger grant fund is required in order to test these processes in a practical matter.

NCSD: 0005-0000.67

——————————————————————————————————

Day 0: 6.10.2382

“Good news everybody! We got the grant!”

A smattering of cheers came from the assembled scientists. Anna applauded with them, feeling a grin stretch across her face. This had been their life’s work, and finally - finally - someone seemed to be taking an interest in it. Their lab had struggled along here for years, barely managing to keep on a quarter of the staff they needed. 

She waved over Jensky, project leader, holding up two of the drinks she had managed to…borrow from the shop down the way. Look - the money hadn’t arrived yet, and what they had right now would barely cover the cost of an actual party. If they spent that, the financial inspectors would see they’d spent their entire budget on one party. Good luck getting another grant if that went down.

Jensky strolled over, glancing around the party. “I wasn’t aware we could afford so many different types of drinks,” she said dryly. “Especially since the shop which sold those said, and I quote, ‘if we ever see any of you lab types in here again we’ll burn your whole bloody place to the ground’. Interesting, is it not?”

“So they don’t see us,” Anna said, offering her a glass. “Come on. Lighten up a little.”

“I am lightened,” she replied with a smile. She raised her glass. “Come on. To funding.”

“To funding,” Anna echoed. Then she spat out the drink. “What the hell is this?” she asked, staring at the reddish liquid in her cup. “What did I just drink? The bottle said it was vintage 2345!”

“Ah,” Jensky said, raising a finger, “if you knew the owners of that shop like I do, then you’d know that back room - the one with the broken door - is actually where they store their batches that don’t quite work out. Using old bottles, of course - why waste time making new ones?”

“Screw you,” she said cheerfully, sinking back into her chair. “When that grant money comes we’ll finally be able to get some real drinks. Hell, we might be able to get a brewery in here if they’ve given us as much as we applied for.”

“Actually…” Jensky glanced away for a second, “we might not be in here much longer. I haven’t had much time to go over the approval form, but it looks like they might be moving us to the government laboratory. It’s the Eyring building, over by the docks.”

“That place? Why would we need something like that?” The Noah Eyring Building, or the NEB to everyone who lived there, was a decommissioned hangar that had been used to build the biggest ships in the fleet. The kind of ships that when you were called somewhere, you had to take a smaller ship just to get there in time. “What do they think we’re going to try to put these implants in? Whales or something?”

“Or something, yes.”

“Well, tell them we’re not. That what we’re going to be working on for the next few years is probably going to consist of zebrafish and mice.” She shook her head. “Government, right?”

“…Right.” Her eyes flicked left, then right.

Anna frowned. “There’s something you’re not telling me about this contract.”

“What? No - there’s nothing-“

“Livia. I have known you for ten years, and you are absolutely the worst liar I have ever met. Why are they giving us NEB, and what’s making you nervous about it?”

She sighed. “Fine. The Charter’s giving us Eyring because they want to be able to keep an eye on us.”

“Keep an-? There’s a war going on and they think that we’re going to be a threat? If we wanted to, we could just have left with all those other-“

“I know,” she cut in. “But talking like that is what actually gets the government after you.” With a grimace, Jensky swirled the brown liquid in her cup and then downed it in a single gulp. “Back room too?”

Anna nodded. “So what is it? Why do we need our very own über-lab just to try to mess with some fish’s brain?”

“That’s the…er, issue. It’s the war, you see. Charter’s looking to…accelerate the schedule, you might say. Get things moving a bit faster and deployed on the field. I don’t think results from fish fit into their view of that.”

“So?” she asked, feeling like she was missing something.

Jensky hesitated, the muscles in her face tightening. “They want us to start experimenting on human subjects.”

“WHAT?” She stood, almost knocking her chair over in the process. “They want us to do WHAT?”

“You heard me. Charter wants human testing to get field deployment. One of the core conditions for the grant.”

“And you ACCEPTED this?” She shook her head, still not quite believing it. “I - you - why?”

“Because I had to. Because our lab was failing and we weren’t going to be able to save it otherwise. Because I wanted us to all be able to stay together and keep doing this work we’re doing.”

“No - no - no, you don’t understand,” she said. “I worked on those models. You remember what we found there, right? What we published?”

“I-“

She ignored Jensky, too angry to care. “Because I know you do. I know you know exactly what that paper says. Exactly who they’re going to get for these ‘human subjects’!”

“Anna, I don’t think you-“

“SHUT UP!” She slammed her fist down on the table. “We said ‘developing brains’! Developing brains! They’re asking you to experiment on children! And you - you - accepted!”

She realized that the room had gone very quiet. Sam and Nick had simply frozen in the middle of their conversation, eyes wide, while Nath glanced back and forth between the two of them, brows lowered. Good. They deserve to know. “Anything you want to tell us, Liv?” Nick drawled after a long pause. “Maybe something we ought to know?”

Jensky slumped back in her seat. “It’s true,” she said with a small shrug. “Make of it what you will, but it’s true.”

“Well then.” Nick strolled over to where the two of them were still staring each other down. “Besides the fact that that’s about eight different kinds of screwed up, as far as I know it’s also that many kinds of illegal. Hell, I’m pretty sure even the damn Geneva Conventions have something to say about-“

“And who, exactly, is going to enforce that?” Sam asked. “The faction currently employing us? Or the one we’re at war with? Come on now. Who?”

“You’re siding with experimenting on children?”

“Hey.” He raised his hands in a not-me gesture. “I’ve worked for this my whole life. And really, what’s the difference? We were always going to be using humans sooner or later - that’s what our model is based on. This is just sooner.”

“There. Is. A. Difference,” Anna growled. “A difference between testing it on people and giving it to people. You know that.”

“Please,” Jensky said. “We’re finally funded. We can finally have a real lab and actual equipment. I did this for you. For all of you. Don’t give it up for-“

“For what? Morals?” Nick did a passable impression of her, although the accent was wrong. “Come on guys, don’t let pesky things like child experimentation bother you. We have money now so it’s okay.”

“Really, Nick? That’s the best you have?”

“If you really need me to debate with you on the ethics of, let me remind you, child experimentation, then I think I’m actually good, thank you very much.”

Jensky sighed. “Then it appears we are at an impasse. Two against accepting, and-“

“Wait,” Anna broke in. “There’s a choice? We can still send it back and say we don’t want their money if-“

“Two against,” she continued, “and two for. Nath, we’re going to need your input.”

He jumped. “Me?”

“Yes,” both Sam and Nick said at the same time. Then they turned to glare at each other.

Nath spoke slowly, choosing his words. “Well,” he said, “as far as I can see, there’s no actual evidence that we’re actually going to be experimenting on children.”

“But our paper-“

“Anna, the government never reads scientific papers. Ever. It’s a war. They’re throwing funding at literally anything they think might help.”

“So you’re siding with them then,” she said bitterly. “I would never have guessed.”

“I’m just going to see how things go. I’ll make my decision once I can get more-“

“You have the information you need, Nath,” Nick said. “Whether it’s children or not, the Charter is still asking us to experiment on people. Will you really stand for that?”

“I’ll stand where I choose,” he replied stiffly. “And right now, that’s here.”

Anna hissed out a breath. “Fine then. Come on, Nick,” she said, turning and walking for the door. She knew she’d probably break down later over this, but she didn’t care. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to get away from these people.

“Wait! Anna!” she heard Jensky say. She ignored her, pushing open the door. Then she just kept walking, down the cold metal hallway and towards the door at the far end of it. “Please!”

Sam shouted something after her, which she dimly assumed was an insult. Nick, catching up with her, turned around and snapped back “See you in Nuremberg!” Then she was outside under the grey and starless night, walking with her head down. Where she was going, she didn’t know. Just…away. Far, far away.

——————————————————————————————————

ORIGINAL GRANT APPROVAL

CONFIRMED 06.11.2382

Livia Jensky, Samuel Fostre, Nathi Okeke

Noah Eyring Building, Cheriel Street North, Hrejburg, Prechemyst, Upper Charter, 06657-132013-3P