#but they are still the best subtitles ever!

[theorist-fox]

"Theo! I wanna write stories of my favourite fictional characters fighting for their lives, solving mysteries, surviving an apocalypse, finding love, and getting railed into next Tuesday—but I’m not confident in my English since it's not my first language.

What can I do?"

Well—

Have a seat, my sweet, and let cranky ol' Theo take you on a journey to reach (almost) unshakable confidence in your second (third? fourth? fifth? damn 🧐) language.

I’m going to assume everyone here has had a reasonable smattering of English ever since they were young, because yes—I just know that if you’re here and English isn’t your first language, you’ve been studying it ever since you were a kid.

However, if you haven’t, let me introduce you to:

Step 0. Get started!

English grammar is relatively easy, especially when compared to other languages (i.e. Italian grammar is a nightmare, Spanish grammar is a nightmare, French grammar is… my sleep paralysis demon).

There are several sites you can consult to train your English, and the most well-rounded one (I used to steal exercises from it when I helped my niece with her English homework) is BBC Learning English. 

It has videos, subjects are divided into units and each unit has straightforward exercises that are promptly corrected.

Unfortunately, most sites have a paywall.

To keep training your English, Duolingo is still an incredibly effective app. It’s free, packed with exercises, and you can start at any level you want!

Don’t make the owl mad and keep training, even if it's only a handful of minutes a day. Take notes on a notepad as you go, and review them as you would during a normal school lecture. In other words: study the thing!

Step 1. Live English-ly

Go on about your day, but do it in English. 

Consume media like you’re a black hole sucking the Englishness out of everything around you. 

Watch films in English. 

Start easy, and choose animated features—they’re often directed to younger audiences hence the English they use is simple and direct. Put subtitles in your first language initially, and when you think you’ve gained enough confidence, switch to English Dub and English Sub.

Take notes of words you like, and idioms—hell, those work like a charm and make you look more confident in the language!

Keep your phone nearby and type in anything new, or jot it down on paper, on a napkin, wherever—as long as you store it somewhere safe for future reference.

Read books and fics in English

It doesn’t matter if the writer’s first language isn’t English, because you can still learn from anything.

If you don’t know a word, don’t skim over it even if you understand the meaning from the context. Look up the translation online and put it down somewhere you can easily refer to when writing!

When you feel confident enough, instead of searching for:

“XXX translation in XYZ language”,

look for:

“XXX meaning”.

This latter passage is important, because, more often than not, English words can change their meaning based on the context.

Example: “Funny”

“This is a funny joke” = This joke makes you laugh;

“My stomach feels funny” = Your stomach is not being tickled, but there’s something wrong with your stomach.

Read the news in English. 

This will help you develop a more formal language, allowing you to absorb concepts that aren't normally found in a fic/movie/book. Not only that, but the structure of a journalistic article can help you with the formatting. 

The main goal of the news is to give you information that is straight to the point. Most newspapers articles have the best formatting.

Paragraphs are direct and succinct; they contain the information you’re looking for and keep you focused.

That’s what you want to do with your audience: feed intel that keeps them fastened to your story, bit by bit. Paragraph by paragraph.

Step 2. 🎶 MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC 🎶

Listen to music in English, but not only for the vibe.

The wonderful thing about music is that singers don’t follow the rules: they’ll sing with their accent if they like (Stormzy, Hozier, Little Simz), or they’ll change where the accent falls on a word just to make it fit the melody.

Catch the words, try to understand the lyrics without reading through them, and then check them out later.

This is a good, fun way to train your ear and learn new words, while also 1) healing your soul because music is beautiful, and 2) having a good fucking time.

Step 3. Podcasts & YouTube videos

While many platforms offer free podcasts specifically designed for learning English, those created for other purposes are another fun way to train your ear and, above all, learn slang.

Now, as a Call of Duty fanfiction aficionado, I always strive to make my British men as British as can be. The British-est of them all.

I watch British YouTubers, I listen to British podcasters, watch movies made in the UK with British actors, and I listen to British artists and British music.

Do the same thing if you’re looking for a specific accent or dialect!

I understand that most YouTubers end up Americanizing themselves due to the dominance of American media, but you’d be surprised by how many keep their roots intact instead!

Step 4. Talk to yourself

Yes you read right.

Your first language isn’t English? We do not care in this household. 

What you wanna do is speak it daily. Talk to yourself, baby. Train that pronunciation.

Pretend you're Sherlock Holmes when you're looking for that thing you lost in the house—bonus if you add "Elementary, my dear Watson" if your pet is nearby!

Pretend you’re a cowboy and say Howdy to yourself in the mirror!

I’ll be honest with you: this is the only way I come up with dialogues. 

I have entire arguments with myself in bed, and sometimes I spontaneously say something that I think would fit X character.

Man, it's cathartic too, in a way. And I always win the argument—big plus, that one.

Step 5. Don’t change to fit in

This is my favourite thing about writing.

I'm just a lil Italian lady, and Italian sentence structure is completely different from the English.

We are chatty, we talk your ear off. Our sentences are long and structured; we could fit an entire concept into a single paragraph without ever putting a period in the sentence.

English, on the other hand, is much more direct. Shorter sentences and no convolutions whatsoever.

I tried to fit in, but alas I am chatty, and while sometimes I manage, other times I simply don’t—and that’s okay.

Weave your first language and culture into your English stories—this can become your signature as a writer!

Step 6. Make mistakes

The most ancient (and hated) tip of all times is “Learn from your mistakes”. 

I know, I know, I am also a perfectionist. I also go through a story at least four thousand times before I post it, and by the time I’m ready to click “Post now”, I hate it with all my guts (hell, this guide has mistakes, somewhere).

You’d be surprised how many people think differently, though

However, sometimes it will flop.

It’ll flop so hard you’ll end up wallowing in bed, ready to quit your hobby for good because you suck and that’s the only reasonable explanation.

When you’re done crying, however, sit down in front of your fic and analyze it.

Was the grammar fucked? Check it again. 

Have you used a trope so niche only three people are interested in it? Well, in that case, it didn't flop, did it? It just reached a small target audience.

Are the “Trigger Warnings” too much for the majority of people to handle? Is the fic too heavy? Too light? Too weird? It's okay! Sometimes your work won't be everyone's cup of tea. Sometimes you'll be the only one who'll like that type of tea.

You’ll flop and you’ll hate yourself and other people for it.

Don’t let it consume you, don’t resent the fandom for not clicking on your story. Don't resent native speakers because you think writing is easier for them—writing is never easy.

Fucking hell, I can’t write in my first language as comfortably as I do in English.

Listen to constructive criticism—ask for constructive criticism. Learn, learn, and learn.

And if some people are mean to you, if they tell you to never write again—flip ‘em the bird.

You’re allowed to say "Fuck You" to assholes.

Step 7. Ask for help

There is a community around you, ask for help.

English is not your first language, but it is for other people.

Be mindful and polite—some people will be open to helping, others won’t, and that’s more than fair. It’s not their job to teach you, but there’s no harm in reaching out.

Literally, conversations with my British friends sometimes go like this:

Step 8. Use resources

Writing resources are all over Tumblr, and all over the rest of the Internet too.

When I don’t want to bother someone because every one of us has a real life outside of social media, the Internet can still be your friend.

These are my favourite places:

WordHippo (Thank you @/void-my-warranty, we all say in unison): rich in synonyms categorized by meaning (much better alternative to TheSaurus)

r/AskABrit: subreddit dedicated to questions you might have regarding the English language and life in the UK. There is a "r/AskA___" subreddit for everything, to be honest—just look for it!

The Cranky Bint’s Guide to Brit-Picking: “A basic guide to Brit-picking your fics. It also explains some common cultural differences, and gives a list of your more basic swear words.” This is my treasure trove.

OneLook TheSaurus (Thank you @/staytrueblue, we all say in unison): allows you to find words based on the description you give it. Wonderful tool for non-native speakers who know the concept, but lack the vocabulary!

Step 9. Read, watch, listen

Writing is grammar, true.

Writing is beautifully constructed sentences that flow like water beneath your eyes and fill you with emotions you never knew were possible.

But writing is also substance.

Think of your imagination as a car—you gotta give it fuel, baby, or it won’t go anywhere.

Your mind can take you to every nook and cranny of the world—the one you know and the ones you don’t—but it won’t get far if you don’t explore the possibilities.

Read books in any language, watch movies in any language, observe life happening around you.

Look at yourself, too.

You are a story, already.

Pick bits and pieces of your life and place them in a character. Remember conversations that tore the heart out of your chest, or those that tickled you just right.

There’s a whole world around you waiting to inspire you. Use it!

Step 10. Have fun, goddamnit!

Theo, I just wrote the most disgusting piece of smut/gore/whatever of my entire life in a fugue state what do I do?

Did you have fun?

Yes

GOOD. Others will have fun reading it, too.

Don’t be afraid. You’re using a damn alias, for fuck’s sake—and so are the people reading your work!

This is your chance to be your unabashed self—but always be kind and mindful to other writers and your readers.

Have fun, pour it all out, and share it with the world.

Enjoy this.

It's a hobby that not only helps you overcome language insecurities, but also uncovers parts of yourself you never knew were there.

Now go, my sweet. You are ready. I say, placing my hand over your head in blessing

Write your heart out, tell your stories, and enjoy the ride.

This is what it’s all about.

With all my love,

—Theoristfox🦊

[theflagscene]

Okay, these are best subtitles that ever subtitled!

[thepandalion]

once again listening to the legally blonde musical cast recordings and somehow it took me this long to figure out they made Emmett's last name forrest because emmett forrest and elle woods and. don't mind me I'm off to be pathetic in a corner

[pencilcult]

monday night i decided to rewatch poor things instead of sleeping and it is the best decision i've ever made in a long fucking while

[koushirouizumi]

{D I G I M O N} 02 - @.M.V x "Kocchi wo Muite" {"Look This Way"} M U S I C (C) C.L.A.M.P / K O D A N S H A (Originally from: C a r d c a p t o r S a k u r a) + DAIHIKA

Summary:

"Although you show C O U R A G E, YOU'VE{?} got it B A C K W A R D S A {m a i d e n}'s H E A R T is {f r a g i l e} and T R Y I N G..."

D i g i m o n 02 (C) T O E I @.M.V. by Me No $$$ is being made off this Fan-work

Notes: -This part took about 45 min already. - Aiming for an 08-02 finish, but let's see what happens...!! - This @.M.V. is overall a Stand-alone work. (It is not directly involved with my other work); However, it can be considered a work For the storyline that's a precursor to Repeat-verse, which came before that story was conceived!) Therefore, it can be watched as a Stand-alone! - I reused a part of an older edit for the Tri P.V.; (for timing placements) it had an old subtitle on, but I'll remove that for the finished version! However, the work is overall/near-wholly 02-focused (so far)!

{I have not yet re-written the DaiHika storyline involved with the past fic-verse of mine; So please take this work as a sort of preview to it!}

(Further lyric{s} under 'read more'!)

"Turn this way, don't look anywhere else, darling It'd be bad if you weren't completely by MY side... Although you show courage, you've got it backwards A maiden's heart is fragile and trying---"

If we get separated by any distance I'll come after you

(J.P.N): Kocchi wo muite yo So mi shinaide Daarin Chanto watashi no soba ni inakucha dame da yo Tsuyogari datte uragaeshi Otome-gokoro kyun to setsunai...

Donna ni tookute hanarete 'te mo  Oikakete 'ku wa---

NOTE: The speaker may be speaking as if theyre NOT BEING CONSISTENT with their {FEELINGs}.

(Please acknowledge Rules BEFORE INTERACTING) {Failure to regard Rules WILL RESULT IN A BLOCK}

[boringkate]

Here’s a bunch of junk for you trans girls to watch

Update: there used to be a link to a mega folder here, but it got taken down.

///TGIRL FEATURE FILMS (alphabetical order)

Adam (2019) it's about a cis boy who's mistaken for a trans boy and rolls with it. Big cast of trans characters including a tgirl played by a tgirl who everyone wants to fuck. Directed by a trans dude. Highly legit. If you're still hung up on pre release speculation based on the novel then you're the most annoying person alive.

Assassination Nation (2018) The first half is Euphoria and the second half is The Purge. ONE OF THE BEST TGIRL MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

Bit (2019) Lesbian girl power vampire movie where the main character is a tgirl played by a tgirl. It's solid. I find it frustrating that they hint at her being trans without explicitly acknowledging it (and she's passing as fuck, so it's easy to not notice), but I know that's what some of y'all want.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) Cis dude for trans girl love story. Pretty normie, but also you see her fully naked (gock out) at the end.

Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) Extremely 60s. Cool as hell.

Lady Daddy (2010) South Korean romcom about a trans girl played by a cis girl who tries unconvincingly to back pass when she finds out she has a kid. Very cute.

Lingua Franca (2019) written directed and starring Isabel Sandoval. An undocumented trans woman immigrant in New York deals with a cis dude partner being a cis dude. Which is also the plot of The Garden Left Behind (2019).

Myra Breckinridge (1970) Raquel Welch is a trans woman and her goal is the destruction of the last vestigial traces of traditional manhood! It's Fight Club! It's Hackers! It's divisive, but it's probably my favorite movie!

So Pretty (2019) Literally the first scripted feature length (non pornographic tho it does have cock) film to feature two trans women played by trans women kissing eachother.

Something Must Break (2014) THE OTHER BEST TGIRL MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Drugs. Crimes. Gock. Slow motion pissing. Slow motion park Fucking. Genuinely the most beautiful sex scene I've seen in any movie. And she makes it to the end still alive and more sure of herself and at peace than ever.

Tangerine (2015) Groundbreaking and also a bunch of the secondary characters are real life pornstars (which I think is neat).

The Garden Left Behind (2019) This and Lingua Franca (2019) really are tgirl twin films, but (like with Antz and A Bug’s Life) the vibes and details make them distinct (I assume tho tbh I’ve never watched Antz).

///TGIRL DOCUMENTARIES

Bambi (2013) about a trans girl showgirl in 50s/60s paris

Paris is Burning (1990) basically it's Pose.

Shinjuku Boys (1995) Trans dudes working in a tokyo club that caters to tboy chasing cis girls. There's at least one trans girl in the mix too.

///FORCED FEMINIZATION

A Reflection of Fear (1972) They raised her as a girl and it made her do murders! It drags in places, but the girl in it is so ethereal and it has ageplay vibes and daddy issues.

Memory Run (1996) A very fun direct to video scifi action flick about fighting fascism by blowing up your pre transition self with a rocket launcher + it's based on a novel written by a trans woman.

She-Man A Story of Fixation (1967) Notable for being such a cliche sissy maid fantasy while also coming out so early + it was Bob Clark's first film lol.

Sleepaway Camp (1983) A more famous version of Reflection of Fear.

Surrender Dorothy (1998) A MUST WATCH. I personally bought a physical DVD and made an ISO of it for you because I was unsatisfied with the quality of the only copy that seemed to exist online. I ALSO PERSONALLY CREATED MY OWN SUBTITLES FOR IT BECAUSE EVEN THE DVD DIDN’T INCLUDE ANY! WHICH TOOK HOURS TO DO!

The Skin I Live In (2011) A rapist is kidnapped and turned into a girl by a mournful vengeful plastic surgeon. Which was also the plot of Victim (2010). I never really vibe with Pedro Almodóvar movies, but I recognize this is the preeminent forced feminization film.

///SHORT FILMS

Gender Troublemakers (1993) Some 90s Toronto trans girls fucking and discoursing. Explicit tgirl on tgirl action. This is the only one on the list that I haven’t actually watched yet. I’m hyped to watch it tho. Seems mindblowingly rad af.

Happy Birthday Marsha (2018) It's about Marsha P. Johnson.

I don't Know (1971) I'm obsessed with the trans girl in this one she just keeps popping up in all kinds of early 70s stuff. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (who is the sister of the cis gf in it).

Mesmeralda (2019) AN ABSOLUTE BANGER HOLY FUCK THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS! PLS WATCH THIS! I refuse to apologize for it being 15GB. It’s worth every byte.

Pat Rocco's Changes (1970) It's that same girl again!

Queens at Heart (1967) I can't get over that hairdresser girl thinking she's back passing. Most adorably weak boymode ever.

Shangri-La (2021) Another Isabel Sandoval joint.

The Yellow Wallpaper (2021) Freshly post op girl with a supportive boyfriend goes unhinged.

Undress Me (2012) Jana Bringlöv Ekspong did a few short films. Give janabringlove a google after watching this.

///JUST LIKE BTW

Some of these would be tough to find elsewhere, but most of the movies are also watchable on fmovies and/or can be torrented in higher quality.

After you've worked your way through the folder then just start doing Google searches for trans films. Look at IMDB keywords and letterboxd lists. There are so many more out there. These are just like my personal picks.

[megalony]

Communication Error

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by anon, I hope you will all like it I had a lot of fun writing this one.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989

911 Masterlist

Summary: When the 118 are called out to a crash scene, there is a bit of a communication problem that only Evan can solve. He's the only one who knows sign language. And the victim.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Running a hand through his hair, Evan let his head flop back on the pillow and a quiet groan tumbled past his lips when he noticed the time. He had to get ready for work. Not that he wanted to go in today. Evan loved his job, it was rewarding and demanding and every day was different and brought about new experiences, some of which he would rather forget at times.

But he didn't feel like going in today, he wanted to stay home. With (Y/n).

His tired, dreary eyes locked on the tv that was playing quietly in the background. Evan used to have the tv turned up on high volume, his hyper tendencies and short attention span made it hard for him to concentrate when he watched a tv show or a movie. The volume had to be loud so he could understand what people were saying and process their words.

Ever since he and (Y/n) moved in together, Evan's problem with loud volume was solved. (Y/n) needed the subtitles on whenever they watched something and at first it was hard for Evan to concentrate on watching tv and read the titles at the same time. But he found it helped him immensely. Even when (Y/n) wasn't home, Evan still kept the subtitles on and he found himself squinting angrily at the tv in the station when he had no words to process and had to use his ears for a change.

With a deep breath, Evan pushed himself up off the bed and slowly made his way towards the bathroom. He tried to shake the tiredness out of his system and liven himself up, he only had an hour before he needed to be at the station and he couldn't drive there half asleep like this.

When he walked into the bathroom, a tender smile curved on his lips that pressed together tightly when an idea popped into his head.

(Y/n) being unable to hear anything meant Evan never had a problem sneaking up on her. She prided herself on being unphased by most things until she married Evan and he found all sorts of ways to shock her and give her jump scares.

He shut the bathroom door behind him and gingerly approached the shower, taking a second to tilt his head to the side and admire the view his wife was unknowingly giving him.

He shrugged off his lounge shirt and shorts, kicking his bottoms off along with them before he tried his best to open the shower door slowly so (Y/n) wouldn't notice the sudden change in temperature. Steam curled around Evan's face and clung to his hair, turning it damp before he put one foot under the water.

Evan's tongue got caught between his teeth and his lips spread into a smirk as he hunkered down, stretched his arms out and suddenly clamped his hands down on (Y/n)'s hips.

(Y/n)'s arms coiled into her chest and a small scream mixed with a gasp tumbled past her lips when familiar fingertips dug into her hips and she was sent off balance. Her heart thumped away in her chest sending her vision blurry when she snapped her eyes open while her knees bent and gave way.

She could feel Evan laughing. She didn't have to look at him to know; his chest always shuddered and trembled, vibrating back and forth when he laughed. And (Y/n) could feel his broad chest pressing up into her back as his hands moved to bind around her waist to prevent her from falling down. Her feet skidded against the puddle of water pooling around the drain and she braced one hand on the surprisingly cold tiled wall while her other hand clamped down on Evan's forearm.

She let her eyes fall closed again so he couldn't see her rolling them at him while she tried to catch her breath.

She had been lost in thought until he snook his way in. Usually (Y/n) was able to sense Evan, but sometimes he went into stealth mode and she didn't feel him coming up behind her like this.

Evan was sure he heard her mumble his name and it only made him grin as he pulled her up so she was back on her feet again. He felt the shower door bump into his shoulders as it closed behind him and he walked (Y/n) forward a foot or two so he wasn't in danger of pushing the door back open and falling out.

He couldn't stop himself from grinning when he tucked his face into (Y/n)'s neck and pressed his lips against her skin. With his head tilted down, he could feel the water trickling through his curls, flattening his hair down against his temple. The water traced down the bridge of his nose and trickled down onto (Y/n)'s collar bone causing her to shudder against him.

With pursed lips, (Y/n) moved her hands in front of her, kept her palms open and moved her hands back and forth over her chest but the word she signed only made Evan smile. Scary. He had managed to scare her.

He grinned into her skin and bit down on her neck to make her shiver just as (Y/n) grabbed one of his hands and moved his palm to rest over her chest so he could feel her heartbeat. He had given her a fright just like he intended and he could feel her pulse. Her heart was thrashing away in her chest causing her skin to vibrate with each beat.

"Hi sweetheart," Evan leaned his cheek onto (Y/n)'s shoulder so she could see his lips moving. She wasn't the best at reading lips, especially not right now when water was cascading down around them, distorting the way his lips moved and blurring her vision of him.

So Evan curled his arms tighter around her and pressed his hands into fists so he could place them over (Y/n)'s chest. She looked down to where his hands were on her chest with his knuckles touching and when Evan started to curl his thumbs up and down like he was giving a thumbs up, (Y/n) leaned over to kiss his cheek.

It was the sign for sweetheart.

(Y/n) looked down when she felt Evan's hands move down from her chest so his arms were back to squeezing into her waist but this time, he placed his hands down to cradle her stomach. His thumb brushed up and down her skin against the water cascading down around them and (Y/n) took a sharp breath when he suddenly bit down on her neck like a vampire.

(Y/n) turned her head and nuzzled her nose against Evan's damp hair that turned a few shades darker when wet. Her hands moved to grip his wrists and she started to brush her thumbs across his skin in a slow, soothing motion. The movement made Evan smile against her skin that he was still kissing and nipping at like he was doing his best to create bruises all along her neck.

She knew what he was doing. He had his hands on her stomach because he was desperate to feel the baby move and now they were five months along, they should start to feel movements soon.

Despite Evan's eagerness, (Y/n) was the one who was silently yearning to feel the baby move. She couldn't hear the heartbeat when they went to their appointments. Evan got to sit and listen to their baby's heartbeat and know what that sounded and felt like. He got that experience whereas (Y/n) was reduced to watching the monitor, scrutinising it to see that heart beating away, forever silent in her ears.

Feeling the baby move would prove to (Y/n) that the baby was okay and actually real. Her bump didn't give her that comfort like she dreamed feeling the movement would.

Taking care to be slow, (Y/n) turned around in his arms so she was facing him and dragged her fingertips up his biceps and over his shoulders until she could cup the back of his neck. Her thumbs smoothed across the side of his jaw but she gasped as Evan's hands dug into her hips and he moved her back until she was pressed against the tiles.

They were like ice cubes sticking to her burning skin and the mix of hot and cold made her shake until Evan tilted his head down so their foreheads were pressed together. Most of the water from the shower trickled down the back of Evan's neck but the leftover droplets fell down his forehead and jumped onto (Y/n)'s skin.

It felt comforting to have Evan's arms around her, one secured around her waist and the other wormed around her shoulders and his hand wedged between her and the wall to cup the back of her neck. She could feel his fingers scratching into her skin and she let her head drop back against the tiles so she could look up at him.

She liked the way the water dripped down from his pale pink lips and jumped free from his chin. Each droplet made (Y/n)'s chest tighten until she pushed her hands against his neck and pulled him down to her level. Her fingertips stayed pressed into his skin as she connected his lips down to hers. She sucked his lower lip between her teeth and gave a little bite until Evan's chest vibrated and he meshed her into him.

Evan's head tilted down to the left and his eyes intently focused on his wife's hand as she pointed at him before curling her fingers until only her index finger and thumb were sticking up. She bent her index finger and tilted her hand up and down towards him.

She was asking if he was going to be late.

When he looked up at her, he could see she was muttering 'will you be late' under her breath and he could barely make out her voice. It didn't matter how many times Evan told her she could speak around him, she preferred to sign. (Y/n) couldn't hear her voice, she couldn't tell if she was pronouncing her words correctly or if she was whispering or talking too loudly.

But when she was particularly animated, she would speak as well as sign, but only around Evan. It made him feel special that he was the only one to hear her voice.

"I've got time," His voice was deeper than before and his eyes were hooded and each drop of water that fell from his lashes tried to distract (Y/n) from watching the way his lips moved. She could lip read well enough when up close and personal like this.

A soft smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she felt Evan's hand move from the back of her neck to reach down and grip the underside of her thigh. He looked her leg over his hip and pulled her closer until he was stood in between her thighs, smirking down at her because he knew she wouldn't object, whether he was going to be late or not.

With one hand still gripping (Y/n)'s thigh, Evan tilted his head down to look at his wife while he moved his left hand up. He hovered his hand over his face, going from his forehead to his chin in a circular motion before he pressed his index finger against his cheek and made a line down to his chin.

His sign made (Y/n)'s lips press together to hide her grin before she pushed up to kiss him.

'Pretty girl.'

***

"LAFD. Miss, I'm here to help you, are you okay?" A tender smile flooded Bobby's face as he yanked the passenger door open and wedged himself into the seat.

His eyes raked over the woman sat in the driver's seat, noticing that she was thankfully the only one in the car and she was awake, alert and responsive. She had very piercing eyes that took Bobby off guard as he watched her drag her gaze all over him like she was petrified some random stranger had just decided to climb into her car after she'd had an accident.

Terror ransacked (Y/n)'s body when she stared at the older man who sat down next to her. Something about his expression made her feel safe, his presence was calming and the florescent jacket was the same one (Y/n) knew her husband wore. He was part of the emergency service, someone safe who was here to help get her out.

One minute (Y/n) was on her way to Maddie's house to see her sister in law, the next, a car tried to overtake her on a single road and ended up crashing into a car coming from the other direction.

(Y/n), along with four other cars, collided when they all tried to break and swerve out the way. And (Y/n) was relieved other people were around to call for help. She had never had to call 911 before and she couldn't remember how to use the texting system that was in place for deaf callers. Maddie had been meaning to go through it with her for an emergency but they never got round to it.

"Can you tell me your name?"

(Y/n) dragged her eyes up from the man's jacket to look at his face but she couldn't work out what he had said. Confusion had to be clearly written across her face because he repeated himself, but it didn't sink in. Her body was shaking, her nerves were going haywire and the adrenaline made it hard to focus on one thing in particular. She couldn't see what he was saying.

Heat prickled along the back of (Y/n)'s neck and flooded her skin up to her wrists. Blood didn't seem to want to circulate through to her hands that were numb and on fire from panic. When she started to get anxious, she lost the feeling in her hands and they went cold and numb, blood went to the vital organs and forgot about her hands and feet.

Coiling her arms up to her chest, (Y/n) pressed her palms forcefully against the sides of her neck and scratched her nails into the skin at the base of her head.

She could feel each ragged breath that bubbled past her lips. She could smell the petrol, oil and burnt embers floating through the air, rolling into the car along with smoke that had been building up gradually since the moment they all crashed. And (Y/n) could feel her body trembling back and forth in the seat that felt cold against her unusually heated skin.

The man's hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality and she jerked away from him. Her body stayed facing the steering wheel and her elbows dug into her waist until her sides started to hurt. But (Y/n) forced herself to look back at the stranger. She had to communicate with him somehow.

(Y/n) swiped her eyes along her arm to try and clear her eyes and she unhooked one hand from the back of her neck so she could move her shirt. She rolled it up until the end of her shirt was tucked up against the bottom of her bra and her stomach was exposed.

"You're pregnant," Bobby needed assistance here. This girl was going into shock, she wasn't speaking or acknowledging him and she was starting to go into a panic attack. He wasn't getting through to her. "How far along?"

He tried again and kept motioning towards her stomach. He had the right mind to reach out and try to assess her abdomen in case she had sustained any hernia or movement with the baby but he didn't want to touch her when she seemed very unsettled and panicked.

"Five months?" Bobby watched the girl hold out her trembling hand and wave her hand at him and she seemed to nod when he spoke this time. "Can I assess you, what's your name?" He motioned both his hands out towards her but she started to shake her head as tears flushed her face and she began to sob.

With her right hand, (Y/n) pressed her fingers together in a straight line and stuck her thumb up before she looked at the man and started to rub her hand across her chest. Then she curled her fingers into a fist, kept her thumb stuck up and bashed her fist down into her left hand.

'Please help me.'

(Y/n) repeated the action again and then a third time until the man realised she wasn't having chest pains, she was using sign language with him.

She was deaf. Realisation and anger dawned on Bobby. He had wasted time trying to wait for shock to wear off when shock wasn't the problem, communication was.

"Buck?" He leaned towards the open door and grabbed the radio on his jacket.

"Yeah Cap?"

"You know sign language, right?" Bobby tried to think back to the Christmas party a few months ago at the station. Someone had come in to drop gifts off but the old lady only knew sign language and she was over the moon when Evan turned up and started to converse with her. Bobby could use those skills right now.

"Yeah…" Evan didn't like where this was going.

"I need you to come down to the dark green Ford and act as a translator for me. I have a young woman here using sign language and I don't know what she's trying to tell me. Hen, come down for medical assistance too please."

It was one of the few things Bobby was starting to scold himself for. He needed to learn some basic sign language because there were more and more people out in the community who they cared for and Bobby couldn't communicate with them. At least someone on the team had some basic knowledge.

"No, oh no. Please don't be (Y/n)," Evan tilted his head back and closed his eyes, praying to anyone that would listen.

That had to be a coincidence. It had to be circumstantial that there was a deaf woman, driving the same car as his wife, now caught up in a road accident. It had to be someone else. Evan tried not to calculate the odds in his head because deep down, he knew the chances of it being a stranger were very slim.

Evan passed the wrench in his hand over to Eddie before he made off in a jog down the side of the road, doing his best to be quick but safe so he didn't slide down into the ditch beside them.

He could feel his heart dropping down to his gut like a stone when he locked eyes on the number plate.

That was his wife's car.

"Fuck!" Evan ripped his florescent jacket off and tossed it on the floor behind the car, suddenly overcome with heat and panic all at once.

He barely looked at Bobby who eased out of the car, about to smile until he saw Evan's petrified expression. Ducking down, Evan clambered into the car and slumped down into the passenger seat, leaning across the gear stick to reach out for his wife.

"Sweetheart, sweetheart it's me. I'm here, you're okay."

Shockwaves rattled through (Y/n) and sent her shaking in her seat when a pair of familiar hands suddenly cupped her face and tilted her head to the left. Her lips parted and a shuddering breath tremored through her teeth when her eyes locked on Evan. Tears were already welling up in his eyes and his face was starting to turn a dark shade of red (Y/n) wasn't used to. He leaned over until his elbow was pressed into her arm and their foreheads were touching. But when he traced his thumb across her lower lip, a small cry left her lips.

He was here. Evan was on scene. Someone she loved and trusted was here with her. She didn't have to sit here alone, petrified, and wait for someone to come over who would be able to communicate with her. Who better to sit and translate for her than her own husband?

He tilted her head down and pressed his lips longingly to her forehead, taking a second to breathe in her scent and relish in her touch before he gently let go and trailed his eyes up and down her frame.

"Cap, Buck, what have we got?" Hen rounded the other side of the car and worked on wedging the driver's side door open so she could bend down at (Y/n)'s side.

Evan pointed his index finger at (Y/n) before he held his right hand palm- upwards and kept his fingers on his left hand straight as he waved his left hand over his palm as if he was pretending to cut something. 'Are you alright?'

"Her name's (Y/n)… she said she's in pain with her leg," Evan rested his left hand on (Y/n)'s knee for a moment or two and moved his other hand to cup the back of her neck. He reeled her into his chest and kissed the side of her head until (Y/n) grabbed his bicep to gain his attention and her hands started to move.

Hen wasn't used to seeing someone perform sign language but she could tell (Y/n)'s shaking was affecting her ability. She was flexing her fingers to stop them trembling and try to keep herself under control. But Hen didn't like the way Evan's expression started to change and morph into something worried and unsettling.

"Fuck, the airbag didn't activate, she's hit her stomach on the steering wheel and she's five months pregnant."

"I'll check them both over, see if she's okay to transport," Hen rummaged through her bag for her blood pressure kit but she kept darting her eyes back to Evan. Watching the way he leaned over the girl next to him so he could look down at Hen and see what she was doing. He wasn't usually this anxious. "Do you two know each other?" She muttered quietly.

"She's my wife."

Evan dragged his hand down his face and rubbed at his jaw before he dared look back down at Hen. This wasn't how he wanted them all to meet. He didn't want the team seeing his wife in a state like this the first time they came to know her. He wanted to bring (Y/n) to the annual cookout they had at the station and show her the brighter side of the job. He wanted the circumstances to be calm and natural, not forced and in work mode.

"Oh."

"This is Hen," Evan spelled out her name and pointed down to Hen so (Y/n) had an idea of who was around her. And he fumbled for the letters to spell out Bobby and pointed behind him. He was forever talking about the team but he hadn't gotten around to showing (Y/n) any photos of the people he worked with.

Evan smiled reassuringly and mumbled 'blood pressure' whilst doing the sign he had recently learned for when they had their hospital appointments. They had worked all (Y/n)'s appointments around Evan's days off so she didn't have to worry about trying to lip read and use a pen and paper to talk to the midwife. Evan was always there to act as translator.

(Y/n) curled her left hand around Evan's thigh and leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to hold her right arm straight so Hen could slip the cuff up near her shoulder.

She hated having her blood pressure taken. It made her feel light headed and the tightness sent shooting, tingling pains up and down her arm even after the cuff was removed.

Evan peeked his head over (Y/n)'s waist and looked down at the reading on the blood pressure before he glanced down at (Y/n). He curled his fingers together and held his index and middle finger out straight, level with his chest before he raised his hand up towards his forehead. Her blood pressure was high.

When Hen found the stethoscope in her bag, she lifted it up and indicated towards (Y/n)'s stomach. She would listen for a heartbeat. That was the only thing they could check right now. They couldn't do a scan and no physical exam would tell them if there were any issues with the baby. They wouldn't eb able to see if there was any internal bleeding or if the baby or placenta had moved.

(Y/n) would need a scan once she got to hospital, but the important thing right now was finding a heartbeat.

Her hand stayed looped over Evan's thigh and she leaned more into him when the cold end of the stethoscope was pressed against her lower abdomen, making her push back in her seat.

(Y/n) brought her other hand up to her lips and bit down on her nail, trying not to stare down at Hen but she didn't know where else to look or what to do with herself. What if she couldn't find one? What if it was there but very shallow? What would they do?

She bit down so hard on her nail that a pinch of blood welled in the corner of her thumb but she didn't care. Her head turned to look up at Evan and her hand moved from his thigh to grip his shoulder as she took a deep, tremoring breath. Waiting for him to tell her the verdict.

Evan bent his index and fourth finger down to his palm and held his hand over his chest to imply the heartbeat. He then curled both hands into fists against his shoulders and pulled away, unclenching his hands. 'A strong heartbeat.'

He could feel the relief radiate through (Y/n) when she slumped her head onto his shoulder and managed a small smile against his exposed neck. That was one less thing for them both to worry about.

"Okay, I'm going to do a saline drip, then we can get her in the ambulance."

Evan moved his fingers along his other palm to signal that he was going to walk around the car so he could go round to Hen and help get (Y/n) out the car. He hated to unravel (Y/n) from around him and when she reached out to clutch his bicep, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead before he scrambled out so she didn't have a chance to panic or drag him back.

A shiver rolled down (Y/n)'s spine when she felt Hen squeeze her hand and push the needle into the back of her hand.

A calming smile found its way onto Evan's lips when Hen moved out his way and let him take her place, crouching down beside (Y/n). He rubbed his hands up and down her thighs for a few seconds before he gently took hold of her legs and twisted them so her feet were firmly on the floor and she was sat facing him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Evan pressed his closed fists together against his chest and moved his thumbs up and down, smiling up at her calmly despite the wince he saw flash across her face.

He watched the way (Y/n) tilted her head to the side when she looked down at him and the deep breaths she tried to take as she blinked furiously, fighting off tears.

Her left hand moved to cup her forehead and she rubbed her index finger along her temple. While her right hand pressed to her bump with only her middle finger curled inwards and she moved her hand from left to right along her stomach.

"What's she saying?"

"She feels sick. That's alright baby," Evan waved his left hand over his right palm to signal that was alright before he pushed up so he was stood up with his upper half bent down towards (Y/n) instead of crouching in front of her.

His hands curled around her elbows and when (Y/n) nodded, Evan carefully eased her up from the car until she was stood in front of him. Her hands clamped down on his biceps and her forehead pressed into the middle of Evan's chest which made him smile. He leaned over and kissed the back of (Y/n)'s head, moving his hand around to her back while he took the IV bag from Hen and balanced it on his shoulder so it was easier to carry around.

Evan kept his right arm around (Y/n)'s waist and tucked her into his side while Hen stood on her other side, wedging her between them as they made a slow descent towards the ambulance.

"Hen, drive them to the hospital, Eddie tag along with them, me and Chim will stay here and sort out."

Evan wordlessly nodded while Hen opened the back doors and then proceeded round to get in the front of the ambulance. They would all reconveen together at the hospital when this scene was cleared up. It looked like Evan wouldn't be staying for the night shift today.

Moving his hands, Evan clamped them down on (Y/n)'s hips and walked behind her into the back of the ambulance. He raised a brow when she turned her head to look up at him and her lips pressed together.

Did she have to sit on the gurney?

Her leg was was aching and most likely bruised but it wasn't broken, she could walk perfectly fine. (Y/n) didn't want to sit on the gurney and be taken into A&E as if she couldn't walk when she could. It made her feel uneasy. She turned in Evan's arms and tried to give him her best smile but sweetening him up wasn't going to work and she could see that in her husband's firm expression.

He let go of her, moved one hand to hold the gurney behind her and pointed at her with the other hand.

"Sit." He knew she could read that one simple word from his lips but when she didn't move, Evan clicked his tongue and reached his hands out for her hips. He could feel her gasp soak up into his shirt when he lifted her up and sat her down on the edge of the gurney and placed the IV bag down on the pillow at the end so it was out the way and wasn't at risk of becoming tangled or blocked.

To make her feel better, Evan turned round and perched down on the gurney with her, swinging his legs back and forth until Eddie hurried up into the back and closed the doors.

Eddie plonked himself down on the seat opposite them with a curious, if apprehensive smile. Why was Evan sat on the gurney with the patient? Why wasn't the patient sat properly? Did they know each other? They seemed to be smiling and looked friendly with one another. Just as Eddie went to say something, he stopped when the girl pointed at him curiously.

(Y/n) gingerly tugged on Evan's shirt sleeve to gain his attention before she pointed over at the man in front of them. She cupped her thumb and index finger around her chin and tilted her finger away from her chin and back, asking who he was.

Evan pressed his thumb into his palm and curled his fingers over until his nails touched the top of his thumb. E.

Then he pointed his index finger upwards and pressed his middle and fourth finger against his thumb. D.

"This is Eddie,"

In sign language, it was easier to refer to someone's name as their first initial and he talked about Eddie a lot to (Y/n). Eddie was his work partner, the person he was always teamed up with and doing various escapades with so it was natural he talked about him. (Y/n) knew the team by the stories Evan told her and this unfortunately had to be the first time she met them.

"Eddie, this is my wife, (Y/n)."

This was turning out to be an interesting day for everyone.

[purplereina11]

New Signing, New Beginning Part 7

Mia Larsen was Barcelonas new summer signing

Alexia Putellas is a club legend who just can't seem to talk to her

Mia was staying with Keira the night of the El Classico, she was relaxing on her sofa watching the TV as Keira was getting the spare room ready, something she hovered to help with but was scolded so skulked away. There was some Spanish soap on the television her grandparents watched religiously, she found herself invested and if not home to catch it had them record the episode for her. She smiled at the text she got from her Gran assuring her she was recording the episode for her incase Keira didn’t watch it.

“Hey” Kiera spoke as she came into the living room, she looked at the TV “Oh god you like this too?” Keira flopped onto the sofa, “Alexia loves it, her and Lucy used to always talk about it, she used to watch it, I haven’t a clue what’s going on ever”

“Why did you not just put subtitles on?” Mia spoke like it was the most obvious suggestion and it probably was

“She wouldn’t let me, she said I would pick up Spanish better if I didn’t have them on” Mia giggled moving her head to look at Keira before her attention turned right back to the episode, “Not that has proved to be true”

“It’s nice you two are still friends”

“There was no bad blood there, we just.. ran our course I guess. Ona makes her so happy, and she’s a good person. She helps me a lot with my Spanish”

Mia hummed, “I noticed that, Aitana has the thankless task of the Catalan I’ve noticed”

“We don’t all grow up in multi lingual houses Mia” Mia smiled, “I think Aita has given up, to be fair it just wasn’t going in at all, languages has never been my thing”

“You understand a lot”

Keira nodded, “Yeah I understand it just can’t speak it” Keira pointed to the Tv, “Thought you were watching this”

“It’s fine, my gran text she’s recording it for me”

Keira swooned, “That is so adorable”

“Yeah.. she’s the best”

Both looked as there was tapping at the door, Keira furrowed her brows as Mia looked back to her silently asking are you going to get that, Keira pulled herself off the sofa and towards the door she pulled it, “Oh, hi” she smiled at Alexia at her door, Mia hadn’t turned around to see who was at the door she just snuggled under her blanket that little bit more.

She felt her body get goosebumps when she heard that voice, one she’d not heard in some time now, it had been maybe 4 days since they’re confrontation, Mia had lost count of the nights she’d laid awake replaying it over and over in her head. What she would say when Alexia made the move to make it less awkward between them again. If she had the chance. Mia had become an expert in not being where Alexia was until today.

Alexia opened her mouth to ask her question when she got the sweetest smile on her lips, “You watch this? Lucy said you hated it”

“Oh um” Keira looked and from here you couldn’t actually see Mia, “No.. Mias here, she watches it” Keira silently gained Alexia’s attention her eye contact told her to go say hello, “What did you need?”

“Oh, I needed sugar.. please”

Keira nodded, “I’ll put some in a cup”

“Gracias”

Mia sat tense whether the captain would come acknowledge her or not, she knew she was here but there conversation moved past Mia’s presence quite quickly. Mia’s chin rose to look above her, feeling her presence, her attention was fully focused on the show, Mia lowered her head back down. For a second she thought Alexia had pointedly come over to actively ignore her, “Hola” her voice was timid, Alexia was fearful she’d get the angry face from Mia that had played on repeat in her dreams.

Mia swallowed, “Hola” that came out quieter than she intended, Mia found herself wanting to make small talk but she figured she’d let Alexia fill the silence, she obviously came over for a reason. Maybe actually mustering up the courage to apologise, who knows.

Alexia glanced as Keira appeared with a cup, “Gracias” Alexia stared at the sugar in the cup, “You were great today”

“Thank you” Mia spoke softly, Alexia waited for her to say something else, smile at her, just even acknowledge she was stood behind her but she never. Alexia admitted defeat despite her abysmal attempt and retreated back to her apartment a few floors up.

“Mia” Keira said softly as she sat back down

“I know i did wrong but she started it”

“Are you 12?”

Mia smiled, “No, but she loves reminding me she’s the captain so she can make this right that’s what a captain should do”

+

Mia was fiddling with her shorts as she walked down the corridor, “Bon Dia” she rose her head and Alexia was right in front of her. Alexia smiled ever so slightly, she really wanted to make amends with Mia but she just didn’t know where to start with it.

“Bon Dia” Mia lowered her head again and went walking straight by her, Alexia took a breath turned grabbed her hand before Mia even knew what was happening she found herself in the meeting room door shut and Alexia blocking the exit. “I’m not doing this with you again”

“Sit down”

“No” Mia fought back, “Why should I sit down?”

“Sit” Alexia rose her voice slamming the chair back out from under the table, “Down”

The girls in the locker room next door fell silent hearing Alexia raise her voice, Keira swallowed there was only one person Alexia would speak to like that. There was only one other person missing.

“Sitting down isn’t going to happen, what, do you want” Mia had her back up, and rightfully so here Alexia was speaking to her like shit again. Mia could feel all these emotions swirling around her body as they stood silently neither making a move Alexia looking everywhere but her as she searched for some words to say.

Mia silently urged Alexia just to make this right, apologise, do something because holding her hostage in the meeting room wasn’t achieving anything. It was pointless. Futile. Fruitless. It was getting them no where. It wasn’t achieving anything. It was just building more anger and resentment towards the captain on Mias part.

“This is stupid” Mia moved by Alexia, she didn’t mean to bump into her as she opened the door.

“Stop” Alexia slammed the door back shut, turning Mias body to face her. They were incredibly close, Alexia could feel Mia’s breath. She was lost in every sense Mia was infiltrating. Her touch, her smell, her sight. The words weren’t coming yet again and she could feel Mias anger building again.

“Say something then” Mia whispered into the smallest gap between them, Alexia practically pushing her against the door.

“Please, just, sit down”

Mia put her hands on Alexia’s stomach forcing some distance, “That’s not what you needed to say” Mia slipped out the door making sure to slam it, the girls in the locker room heard the door slam followed by something clattering. Alexia had kicked a chair. Mia appeared in view walking straight through the locker room.

“Mia” Keira spoke getting to her feet

“I’m fine” Simply stated before heading out to the gym for today’s recovery session. It was Keira and Ingrid that went after her.

Alexia was noticeably missing for some time, she arrived finally her eyes scanning to see where Mia was. She was tucked in the corner on the treadmill, Pere talking to her, she didn’t say a word however. She was just nodding, she got a little smile towards the end.

Alexia plonked herself down between Mapi and Patri to began stretching, “I need your help” she directed at Patri, “I” Alexia looked to Patri and to Patri, her friend looked anguished. “I don’t know what to do, I keep making it worse.” The pain in Alexia’s face and voice was evident, the spaniard clearly torn apart about the way her friendship or lack there of with Mia was going.

“What happened?”

“I pulled her into the office, she wouldn’t sit down” Alexia looked like she was almost going to have a panic attack recounting the story.

“You shoved her into a door?” Patri asked

Alexia’s head dropped, “She’s never going to forgive me”

Patri put her hands on the captain’s neck yanking her to kiss her temple, “You need to speak to her, she’s just a person Ale why do you find it so hard to just speak to her”

Alexia shrugged, she knew she’d finally figured it out, but she would never get the opportunity to explain to Mia she doubted now.

+

Alexia sat nervously in the restaurant waiting on an arrival, Patri told her to be here and she’d get Mia here. Alexia looked at the time and she should have been here by now, maybe she’d arrived seen it wasn’t in-fact Patri she was meeting and just left.

Her head rose and she froze much like Mia had, their eyes locked over the restaurant, Mia instantly knew. Her dinner date wasn’t Patri. It was Alexia all along. She did think it was odd the restaurant choice Patri had suggested but it became clearer. A waiter approached Mia as Alexia rose to her feet, she told him with a smile she was meeting a friend and she’d seen her. That smile quickly dropped however as she began closing the distance to the table way at the back Alexia stood awkwardly.

“Buenas Noches” Alexia said softly watching as Mia took her seat, she lowering herself back down. She hoped they could work this out.

Mia placed her bag on the floor took off her jacket and poured herself a glass of water, Alexia felt it was a good start she’d at least stayed. It was a good sign.

“Don’t blame Patri”

Mia sipped her water finally looking at Alexia, “Who else am i to blame?”

Alexia shrugged, “Me i guess, I asked her to get you here so we could talk” Mia simply nodded as her glass was lowered back to the table

“Talk then” Mias attitude wasn’t helping Alexia’s sweaty palms but she knew it was justified. She had to ignore it. She needed to start the ball rolling tonight in making this amends with Mia.

“I don’t know how to speak to you” Alexia just started if she over thought what she was going to say or how to say it, it wouldn’t come out, “And I know it sounds stupid because we’ve had conversations but” Alexia stuttered slightly, “I feel like.. you are the only person that’s ever come here that when you look at me you aren’t looking at Alexia Putellas, you’re looking at.. me” Mia lowered her gaze, “I’m not used to that, and it makes me feel vulnerable around you. I don’t let myself be vulnerable around many people especially people i’ve just met. It scares me. And. I don’t know why but my natural reaction is to just be mean to you and i don’t know why. And i hate myself for it, i really wish i wouldn’t do that”

Mia rose her eyes back to Alexia’s as they were interrupted, Alexia ordered the wine she knew Mia liked when asked about food Alexia checked Mia knew what she wanted and they ordered. Mia sat back looking around the restaurant she’d never been here before, she looked back to Alexia. “Me to”

Alexia swallowed, “I’m sorry”

Mia softened almost instantly, she didn’t speak as the waiter brought over their wine and poured them each a glass, Mia gladly sipped hers needing the courage. She watched as Alexia looked past her out into the restaurant, Mia didn’t know how it got to this and maybe her avoiding Alexia only proved to deepen the tensions. “I don’t actually think your a dick by the way” Alexia moved her eyes to Mia, “Maybe a little bit but id had quite a bit to drink and i was out of order, i shouldn’t of spoken to you like that ever let alone in-front of the team”

Alexia let herself curl her lips ever so slightly, “I don’t even know what you mean by dick”

Mia lowered her head as she smiled, “In England we use it as an insult or to describe someone who’s being not very nice or aren’t nice, it’s a harsher way of saying jerk basically”

Alexia lifted her chin briefly now understanding, “Well as you say, I was being, a dick” Mia laughed, “What’s funny?”

“Just your accent when you speak English” Alexia tilted her head, “It’s cute” Alexia blushed, this was going better than Alexia thought it would be, even if Mias laugh was at her expense. Mia silently tore off some bread as she chewed she felt maybe she owed it to Alexia to tell her the truth. “You know when you asked me what Olga wanted”

“That was none of my business i shouldn’t of asked”

“It sort of is your business” Alexia’s face pulled in confusion, “As Captain… she wants me at Madrid”

“What?”

Mia shrugged, “She said if i say the word Toril would put an offer in in the January window”

“You want to go?” Mia simply shook her head eating some more bread, “Did you say that?”

Mia nodded, “Despite it appears it’s your life’s mission to make me hate it here, I like it, i enjoy the football”

“I am sorry”

Mia nodded finally making eye contact, “I know. But, we’ve been here before”

Alexia knew her apology was appreciated but she also knew her actions from here on out would speak louder. She needed to not let herself try to push Mia away just because she was infatuated with her in a way she never had with someone before. Mia was different. She knew that. She knew she’d be punching to even attempt to pursue Mia but the way she’d been behaving, it was never going to happen.

Patri had told Alexia Mia thought she was attractive. It gave Alexia hope.

“You do realise your now down a midfielder” Alexia rose her head from dipping her bread, “I’m going to kill Patri”

Alexia smiled, “I made her do it”

Mia hummed, “Bet the capitana line came out” Mia rose her eyes, “Am i really that scary to you that you couldn’t just speak to me”

Alexia shook her head, “You make me nervous”

Mias forehead wrinkled in response, “Why?”

Alexia shrugged, “Everyone else always seems to be so impressed by Alexia Putellas, you don’t” I feel not good enough is what Alexia missed off the end of her sentence.

“I am impressed by you, of course i am all you’ve achieved and what you can do. But i understand there’s a person behind all that, one that deserves just as much acknowledgment. I want to know you Alexia, not ‘Alexia Puetellas’ even though she is pretty cool” Alexia rose her eyes, “If that makes you nervous i’m sorry but you’re going to have to get over it, because clearly just not speaking isn’t something you want either”

Alexia laughed softly, “Why do i feel like i got you here to sort things and you ended up being the one to fix it”

“Because i’m just that amazing” Mia smiled sitting back sipping her wine, “Plus i need you on my side when I punch Patri tomorrow”

“I’ll hold her if you want” Alexia joked making Mia’s smile even bigger, “Although.. seems it was worth it”

Mia nodded as she spotted there food coming over, “Seems it”

Mia let Alexia come back to her grandparents in the taxi they stayed in the restaurant just talking for hours, Mia’s cheeks hurt from the smile Alexia kept on her face all evening, she was funny. Unintentionally witty and incredibly charming. If Mia wasn’t mistaken she could have sworn at one point they were gently flirting with each other, the ride to her grandparents home was held in a comfortable silence.

Mia unlocked the door and flicked on a light as she walked into the bungalow dropping her bag and keys on the table to her right she had breakfast at every morning, Alexia dipped her head as she followed her inside, closing the door behind herself. She took in her environment she smiled, it screamed grandparents, family pictures scattered around the space, “I’ll be back, make yourself comfy if you want”

Alexia simply nodded as Mia disappeared off into a room off the kitchen, she let her eyes scan around, her lips tugged seeing Mia’s picture the club took in her kit on her first day, framed on the mantel piece one side. Alexia let her feet carry herself to the opposite side, she scanned the family picture, she instantly spotted Mia big smile on her face flanked by Alexia knew were her parents she was the perfect mix of both. Alexia carried on wandering, looking at more pictures of the grandchildren, nearly all Mia’s pictures were football related, she either had on a football shirt, or a football was visible in the picture.

Alexia rose her eyes as Mia reappeared opening the fridge, “You were a cute kid” Alexia commented, Mia smiled as she got two bottles of water out of the fridge, closing the door coming towards her holding one to her.

“Thanks” she tittered at the comment

“Why is that funny?” Mia just shrugged, opening her water, “And you say I’m weird”

“No.. I say you’re awkward” Mia swigged some of the water, “You want to go sit by the pool?”

“You have a pool?” Alexia asked, Mia started walking backwards

“Follow me La Reina” Mia turned, she got to a door soon enough opening it to a rather large back garden considering the quaint size of the bungalow. Alexia shut the door behind her self as she saw Mia was already lowering her self to sit on the edge of the pool her feet dipping into the water. Mia spoke as Alexia silently joined her, “I like to sit here” she pointed up, “You get a real good view of the stars” Alexia watched Mia as she stared up at the sky clearly mesmerised, “You never saw this many stars in London” There was a subtle curve of Mia’s lips as she kept her gaze on the night sky, unaware how Alexia was admiring her taking in every inch of her, relishing in the interrupt view “My dad loved space, he was always so intrigued by it, he’d sit for hours at his telescope just looking. He never really liked football, but that was the thing we could talk about, instead of watching a game together we’d go look at the stars together” Mia laughed gently to herself at the memory, “Mum would hate how many space documentaries we’d watch, one Sunday he promised it would be finished before Barcelona played, it didn’t. She missed the first half, she was so angry she refused to cook dinner.” Mia swallowed as she seemed to catch herself, she glanced seeing Alexia watching her and lowered her gaze, “Anyway, you didn’t come here to listen to me witter on about space”

“I like listening to you.. it’s cute when you speak English” Alexia smiled proudly when Mia rolled her eyes shaking her head

“I’ll push you in the pool”

“You wouldn’t dare”

Mia looked to Alexia a playful glint in her eye, “You clearly don’t know me very well”

“You’d actually push me in the pool”

Mia smiled as the water bottle came to her lips humming as she nodded before taking a sip.

“When you think you know someone” Alexia jokingly shook her head, before she knew it. She was in the pool, Mia on the side laughing at her as she popped back up.

Mia was laughing it soon faded when she saw Alexia’s face, “No, don’t even think about it” Mia pointed at her, “Alexia” Mia couldn’t help but laugh when Alexia took hold of an ankle. “I’m sorry”

“Oh well” Alexia took her hand and pulled her in to.

Alexia was laughing when Mia appeared back through the top of the water, it was a beautiful sound Mia could listen to it forever. It faded when they realised just how close they were floating. Mia’s favourite thing about Alexia was quickly becoming her eyes, her dark brown eyes that always seemed to draw her in. Even when Alexia had nothing nice to say they were the softest part of her. They’d change colour in the sun and become brighter, they’d glint when she was feeling cheeky. 

Mia got goosebumps when Alexia’s arm slipped around her waist gently gripping her waist as she helped hold her up, it was an excuse to be closer in truth. Mia slipped her arms around her neck and they held each other silently for what felt like an eternity. But it still felt not long enough when Mia felt Alexia start to pull away, she smiled feeling her peck her check. Mia let her arms fall her hands resting on Alexia’s strong shoulders instead she spotted Alexia swallow a nervous lump in her throat. Mia whispered when Alexia’s eyes trained to her lips, “What you waiting for?” Alexia’s eyes shot back to Mia’s own, “Mapi isn’t coming”

Alexia let a simple breath push out in amusement, a warm feeling washed through Mia as Alexia came closer, it felt like fireworks going off inside her as her face leaned in closer. Their lips brushed together, tentatively. It was brief, sweet, innocent and she expected nothing less from the awkward Alexia. She’d felt Alexia’s shoulders relax under her fingertips the second their lips brushed, Alexia had been imagining this moment since the day they met. The way Mia’s lips would feel against their own, how her body would feel against the brits. It was everything and more than she imagined.

Alexia cleared her rambling thoughts her lips still painfully close to Mia’s that one simple kiss wasn’t enough. Her heart raced as she reconnected there lips, Mias body setting on fire as there lips moved in perfect synchronicity body’s pushing together as her back gently touched against the wall of the pool. The cold forcing her chest forward in an attempt to relieve the sting of the cold. She let her hands come to Alexia’s jawline when Alexia used one hand to hold her self up the other still around Mia. It may of been a slow kiss but it certainly was intense.

Mia licked her lips when they parted, both their breathing was unsteady and fast, they didn’t speak neither wanting to pop the bubble of bliss they were in. Alexia’s thumb was slowly moving up and down on her waist as there breathing was slowly becoming under control.

Mia spoke first, “Shall we um” she started when she saw Alexia’s jaw chatter very briefly, “Shall we get out, it’s a bit cold” Alexia nodded, she reluctantly removed her arm from around Mia and without her body against her own her jaw now had a mind of its own. The heat of Mia or between them no longer shielding just how cold this pool was.

Alexia hovered at the door, Mia looked back when she didn’t follow, “I’m dripping everywhere”

Mia smiled, “Your fine, it’s tiles it’ll dry” Mia kept going, she headed to the bathroom to grab them some towels. She smiled when she came back and Alexia still wasn’t inside. “Alexia you’re going to get sick just come inside” Mia put the towel around Alexia, “Please” Mia smiled when Alexia slipped by her into the home.

Mia showed Alexia her room, got her some dry clothes out and offered her the hairdryer she left her to it whilst she used her grandparents room to change out the wet clothes.

Alexia came out Mias room in a pair of her barcelona shorts and a plain grey jumper to see Mia already on the sofa the soft light of her phone lighting her face. She looked when she heard Alexia, “You, sticking around or do you want me to drive you home?”

“I’ll get a taxi”

“You’re not getting a taxi, you’ll either stay here or i take you home”

“Sorry, who’s captain?”

“My house” Mia rose to her feet with a smile, “My rules” Alexia got a smile like Mia hadn’t seen before, was this the Alexia everyone else got because if they did she was incredibly jealous. She was hot. “What you doing Putellas?”

“I’m not dragging you out it’s late”

“Ok” Mia glided by Alexia whose smile just got bigger, “No funny business though, i’m not that easy” Alexia laughed and as she turned Mia stood staring. “Why is that so funny?” Alexia shrugged, “You’ve been talking to Keira haven’t you?”

Mia got into bed moving over to the other side next to the wall, she tried to hide how amused she was with how awkward Alexia was being about the situation. It was just adorable. “I haven’t” Alexia lay flat on her back, stiff as a board, “Should i?”

“You could just ask me” Alexia turned her head to Mia and Mia was just honest, “I’ve had three relationships”

“Why did they end?”

“First one, just ran its course we were young, second, she moved to Germany for football so we ended that, Third that’s the one that Keira would say sent me spiral into ‘Fuck buddy era’ that we won’t count or get into”

Alexia turned onto her side, the casual conversation easing her into there wasn't an expectation, “Why?”

“She was 10 years older than me, based in America but it worked somehow. Til it didn’t when she asked me to marry her”

Alexia looked over Mia’s face, “Well the fact your not married tells me how that ended”

Mia smiled turning to her, “I said no, and that was that. Rather abrupt way to end something i was quite happy in but i was 24, i wasn’t ready for that and she obviously was being older.” Mia laughed softly to herself, “You know what they say to get over someone get under someone else, i sure did that” Mia looked away, “Don’t even know why I’m telling you that doesn’t paint me in a good way”

Alexia smiled softly, “Your just being honest, who am i to judge” Alexia took a breathe, “I’ve not dated in 5 years”

Mia looked to Alexia, “Not to ruin this moment but you not dating is a hate crime to all the gay women of Barcelona” Alexia thankfully smiled, “You get how hot you are right?” Alexia’s smile grew, “I’m being serious” Mia giggled, “Answer me”

“You think i’m hot?”

“I know Patri told you, that women can’t keep a secret unless it’s about who she’s sleeping with then she’s surprisingly quiet on the matter”

“Patri’s seeing someone” Mia’s eyes went a little wide, “Mia!”

“Buenas noches dulces sueños” Mia turned to face the wall smiling hearing Alexia laughing softly.

“I won’t say come on”

“No”

“Mia” Alexia reached forward and Mia squirmed under her touch, “Are you ticklish?”

“No”

Alexia laughed as she tickled Mia her body trying to get away but the wall blocking her route, Mia ended up on her back directly below Alexia’s gaze. “Tell me”

“No”

“Mia”

“Stop” Mia laughed grabbing at Alexia’s hand, she finally let Mia prize it off her but only because their fingers laced. “If you watch her, you’ll figure it out” Alexia furrowed her brows, “Watch her, all i’m saying”

The pair spoke some more before Mia was slowly falling asleep, she woke in the night and Alexia was wrapped around her. She smiled and let herself go back to sleep, in the comfort of Alexia’s strong arms.

+

It was match day as Mia entered the locker room Patri made a beeline for her, “Well?”

“Well what?” Mia looked up at her as she sat down

“What happened?” Patri looked awkward as Alexia entered the room.

“As if i’d tell you” Alexia took her spot beside her, “Liar”

Patri put both hands on either of Mia’s cheek, “I’ll find out, I always do”

“Big talk from someone with big secrets”

Patri narrowed her eyes and walked away, “I’m watching you”

“Enjoy the view my love” Mia pouted a kiss at her as she took her seat the other end of the locker room.

Mia felt nervous her and Alexia had been here before, today would be the day to see if they’d actually turned a corner or not.

Mia lowered her head as they started to hover to come out for the warm up, Alexia chose to stand beside her which she never did. “I’m serious” Alexia spoke hushed, “I want that pan cake recipe” Mia lifted her head and smiled, “They were good” Mia made Alexia pancakes in her Grandparents as Alexia sat patiently at the table watching her,

“I know, you had 5” Alexia couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as they jogged out for the warm up.

Alexia turned jogging backwards, “You promised you wouldn’t judge”

Mia mimicked the coach doing the warm ups, “No judgement just pointing it out”

+

Mia was starting today’s game, it was 20 minutes in and Barcelona were three nil up when she was pushing forward with the ball once again.

Mia was tackled and the whole stadium stood still. 

The thud was sickening the cry she let out sent chills down everyone’s spines. Alexia sprinted over to her, “Mia” she got onto her knees hand on her back, “Mia..”

“I think she’s broke my ankle”

Alexia moved when the medical team got to her, she walked away visibly worried, “Is she ok?” Keira asked

“She said she thinks she’s broke her ankle” Alexia said before moving back to hover worried for her, she couldn't just leave her side. She needed to be there for her.

Surely Mia’s season couldn’t be over just like that. It wasn’t fair. The team spent a long time with Mia before the signal was shown to sub her off and Alexia’s heart dropped seeing Mia’s face when she sat up. She looked devastated, players just knew when something was bad. It’s only a feeling players who’d gotten hurt know. It was the feeling they all dread.

When Mia was in the back she let her emotions out, hiding her face in her shirt as she cried this wasn’t suppose to be how it went, she’d had a dream start to life at Barcelona. It couldn’t all end like this. She heard a cheer go up, Barcelona were clearly fine without her scoring multiple more times. That fourth goal, Alexia scored.

She held up one finger on one hand and five on the other.

15 for Mia.

She had to be ok, she just had to be. There was no way around it.

[bywons]

WITH AND WITHOUT ﹆ LHS

⌕ where lee heeseung realises he messed up too bad

𖦹 pairing. toxic!bf! lee heeseung x f!reader w.c. 0.7k tw/cw. cursing, implications of cheating at end genre. angst/hurt sru's note. pls don't let this flop TT ( CATALOGUE?! )

¤ feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!

heeseung's head aches more than ever, and for every second that he stares at the minimalist silver pendant sitting still between your collarbones, it's thin silver chain hugging your neck ever so softly, it aches even more.

and now it's the time for his heart. he physically cringes out of guilt when he watches you retract your hand away from his. he just wants to hold your hand in his, wants to embrace the soft warmth that once felt like home, that cosy and cordial sensation that gave him butterflies.

but now that is long gone.

it started with heeseung really. from your shoulders missing the embrace of his arm to his cheeks missing your tickling, feathery kiss. neither of you know when this started; an invisible wall growing between you two, and all you can do is sit and watch, letting the wall increase the distance you've already built in between you both.

“you should focus on the movie instead”, your tone is boring, maybe even annoyed. or maybe none, heeseung simply doesn't know. he can't concentrate on whatever's playing in front of him, his eyes are fixed on your necklace, sending such visuals to his brain out of which he can only think of scenarios that hammers his heart even more.

the pendants’ a heart. it's a fucking heart.

“yeah, i am”, heeseung lies, again. just like the way he lied to you three months ago saying he would definitely attend your birthday party albeit his rough basketball practice.

you searched for your boyfriend's compelling face for hours that evening. waited for him the whole night, an hour passed by, then two, then three. every face in your apartment left and the one that should've been there by your side on the couch, holding you in his arms and kissing you all over, was not there. lee heeseung indeed broke his promise that day, along with a piece of you.

“really? what just happened right now then?”, you yawn, munching on the caramel popcorn, a flavour you didn't really like. but heeseung is unable to answer your question right now, he doesn't find enough words to formulate a sentence and explain why he didn't really know what was going on in the movie. his eyes just mindlessly read over the subtitles at the bottom of the screen not really getting the context behind it, there are more vital thoughts in the back of his head, eating him alive in this moment.

heeseung mentally curses himself for instances that took place months ago. instances which once broke your heart, you cried over it, burying your face in the pillow and then eventually forgetting about it. instances that heeseung never cared enough to think about twice before going to bed, or use to reflect on his actions or even think about it.

but suddenly heeseung wishes he could go back in time and return to your birthday party that evening, he wishes he was not that casual to flirt with your best friend in front of you, he wishes he hadn't caused those meaningless arguments with you, he wishes he'd never told you that his ex was better. heeseung wishes he was a better boyfriend for you.

“this one new?”, and heeseung's eyes are back on the necklace you were wearing, it's dainty silver heart infuriating him even more and he can't find the reason why. why the fuck can't he recognize the necklace?

“this one?”, you very well know which one he means when you point at the silver necklace on your neck, or else why will you be sitting with your cardigan pushed all the way down to your collarbones? “you gave it to me, don't you remember?”, you smile.

“not really”, heeseung trails off, a smile from you felt odd after days of cold shoulder from you. it doesn't feel genuine though, so he returns another fake smile hoping you wouldn't notice, “maybe i forgot.”

heeseung can never forget, never ever when it comes to you. he might have been the worst boyfriend ever but he's dying for your touch right now, maybe playing hard to get in your own relationship got him? he can't bet on being ‘good boyfriend’ all over again, he knows he fucked up. but he can bet on one thing though.

he swears and he swears to god and all his 23 years of life, he has never bought that necklace for you.

‘cause why the fuck would it have a ‘J’ engraved on it?

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

(📌) :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! @euncsace @fleumiu @leaderwon @dimplewonie @yrhome @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaasia111 @ashtxrie nets! @/k-labels

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR

agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form

she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming

I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha

agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!

that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.

agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.

lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying

lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.

"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?

LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD

and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank

AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.

awkwaaaaaard

rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has

lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.

oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)

stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.

hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??

rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always

the haiR CARESSING

the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow

and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing

agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell

and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would

you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.

rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.

and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea

THE ICY SHOWER

THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE

THE REGRET

I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.

rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?

billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.

(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)

once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!

and now for something extra

[royalarchivist]

Fit: I want! My! Fofoca!

Fit: I'm a nosy Italian man that wants his fofoca! 👏👏👏

We're all missing Fit dearly, but since he's busy dealing with the horrors of hurricane season at the moment, here's a compilation of some funny QSMP moments that happened on stream exactly one year ago! Featuring: Bagi and Tina fofoca, Tubbo slander, a poorly-executed stealth mission into the Federation, and more!

[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

—

Fit: I want! My! Fofoca! I'm a nosy Italian man that wants his fofoca!

[Looking at fanart of Tina and Bagi]

[Second fanart of Tina and Bagi]

Fit: Ohhhh- [Laughs] Hmm! I see what's going on! Alright, alright...

[Looking at fanart of Roier and Cellbit and himself and Pac with Tubbo lying miserably on the ground]

Fit: Oh, wait a minute... OH, TUBBO... Oh no... I have to ask Tubbo how did thing go with Fred this weekend? Based on this artwork, I dunno how well things went.

[Looking at fanart of Cellbit with cat ears]

Fit: Cellbit as a cat? Catboy Cellbit? On my QSMP?

Pac: Mouse told us several times, also Foolish, I have to be a tsunandre, right?* Remember? The... tsunandre? The tsunani–

*[ He means 'tsundere' ]

Fit: Oh, right! Tsu– [Laughs]

Pac: Tsunana? Tsunami.

Fit: Yeah that's– I- I- know what–

Pac: Tsunami, yeah! [Deep voice] Tsunami. I have to get tsunami!

Fit: [Laughs] You have to be tsunami, that's right, you have to be tsunami. [Laughs]

Pac: Yeah, I'm gonna be just like this –

Fit: I can't believe MarijuanaFlippa would do this. Just place bedrock and diamonds everywhere. And eat all of my Funyuns.

Fit: I just hope Ramon is ok. Even if I don't get to see him, as long as he's out there and alive, and he's healthy and he's ok, that is what I want. I just want him to be ok.

Fit: I also want Spreen to finish his fcking house!

Fit: Why would I ever get anything nice? Nah, I'm just the janitor! I am underpaid and underappreciated. Underpaid and underapprecia- [He steps on a warp plate, which warps him inside the Federation] What the fck?

Fit: I'm not supposed to be here. [Laughs] What the fck happened yesterday?

[Seeing the Pac and Mike chairs on Foolish's Titan]

Fit: [Laughs]

[Looking at Foolish's Titan]

Fit: He still hasn't given it a big ass! Ramon wanted it to have a big ass. Foolish, come on, you- you're slacking. Only the best for my son!

Bad: Is that a default... diamond sword?

Etoiles: Yeah! I'm playing default now.

Fit: I see how it is.

Bad: Who are you? Where is Etoiles? [Hits him]

Slimecicle: Wait, I haven't heard- what's the fish story?

Baghera: Oh, ok! So- ok, ok! Ok! So, it's a- it's a fish!

Slimecicle: [Wheezes] Ok- ok?

Pol: Keep going!

Baghera: Yeah

Antoine: Congratulation, Baghera!

Slimecicle: You have a full-on sombrero on!

Cellbit: Ok, ok! I'll take the sombrero off!

[Arguing in very loud whispers]

Fit: [Stares directly at the camera]

???: SHHHHHHHH-

Fit: Yeah, they're not being stealthy about this at all Typing in public chat? [Reading chat] "Just watch from the bars!" "I see Cucurucho!"

[Loud airhorn noise]

Fit: Oh my-

[Tina runs past, completely visible]

Fit: ...Well, this is a shtshow.

[sir-ballister-boldheart]

Yo Goldenheart and Nimona nation, do i ever have good news for you!

Do you like homoerotic betrayals?

Do you like lovers best friends being torn apart upon finding themselves on the opposite sides of a war? Where each is burdened with the responsibilities from their chosen role?

Do you like couples where one half represents the oppressive regime and the other half embodies EVERYTHING the said oppressive regime hates? Where the one half, acting as a tool of violence and subjugation for the oppressive regime, has to HUNT DOWN and ARREST the other half who has sworn to attack the oppressive regime head on?

Do you like couples with opposing colour schemes? Where one half embodies a particular element and the other half embodies a contrasting element? Do you like couples who are each other's foils? DO YOU LIKE COUPLES WHO ARE THEMATIC PARALLELS TO EACH OTHER??

Do you like a story that's rich in symbolism? Rife with metaphors? A movie that you can rewatch again and again and STILL discover new stuff to lose your mind over?

Do you like a story where love shines brighter than the sun? Where love conquers all the hurt, anger, grief, heartbreak, generational trauma and violence? Where love heals? Where the sheer power of love changes the entire course of the narrative? Where love rewrites history itself?

Do you like movies that make you feel THE ENTIRE SPECTRUM of human emotions within its runtime?

Do you like gorgeous, jaw dropping cinematography? Do you like highly stylized action sequences?

Do you like banger music and a soundtrack that slaps HARD? Do you like a wonderful song and dance interlude in a movie as it shifts into the next act?

Do you like a character who is just the sweetest and the best and deserves everything that is good in the world and has BIG BROWN MASSIVE ADORABLE DOE EYES? And then proceeds to go through the literal WORST TIME ever?

Of course, you do! You like Nimona!

And ho boy, are you gonna LOVE RRR. Because this movie has got ALL of that and then some more. It's an epic, it's a war movie, it's a love story, it's highly symbolical, it's going to take your heart and rip it into two. And you will thank it for that.

Hmm, Enigma. But where can I watch it? 🤔

It's available on Netflix but only as the dubbed Hindi version. It's pretty good for a dub as the actors dubbed their characters themselves and the director oversaw the translation but! But! Listen! There is a magic in the original Telugu version and if you want to experience it, then thank @charcubed for this post where you can download the original Telugu version in crisp HD with English subtitles FOR FREE

There is a third option. You can stream it for free in Einthusan here. However, the quality of the Einthusan stream is not good, and if there is one movie that DESERVES to be watched in crisp HD quality? Trust me, it's RRR

So, what are you waiting for? Go watch it, RIGHT NOW. Seriously

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

This wonderful little show has come to an end, and I feel compelled to tell folks why I loved it, and why you should watch if you haven't yet. First, a big word of thanks to @isaksbestpillow for providing her excellent subtitles and making this show available to international fans. You can find all seven episodes here, get them while you can!

This drama understands that sometimes we really do want to fuck that old man

I don't know what to tell you, the man is hot. He is kind, patient, and generous, he's a master chef, he has a beautiful home with a garden that he tends himself, he is a loving dog owner, and on top of all that he has a hilarious dry wit. Who wouldn't want to fuck him??

Ishida is an endearing protagonist having a relatable quarter life crisis

Ishida certainly does! Which is a nice little revelation for him in a time when he's already struggling to figure himself out, as it's his first time wanting to fuck a man and his work colleague to boot. Ishida has hit a stumble in his original career choice and is feeling pretty apathetic about his job when he meets Mitsuya and gets his world rocked.

Mitsuya is a weary older man who has been burned

Mitsuya is quite a contrast to Ishida as an older adult who very much has his shit together, but has also survived some deep hurts living as an out gay man and grown reluctant to let people in. He and Ishida both see something in each other that the other needs.

It's a food drama that will make your mouth water

The food Mitsuya makes and serves to Ishida in this show looks so delicious that I had to make sure I was fed before watching each episode. Mitsuya can feel free to bait me with food any time.

Shige is my idol

We get to spend ample time at the neighborhood bar, where Mitsuya's old friend Shige serves drinks and hot goss. Shige is a great mix of the wise elder gay dispensing advice and the mischievous trouble maker who likes to stir the pot. I love him, and this show's understanding of the realities of men their age living out and proud.

Frito is a very good dog

FRITO! I'm not always too hype about pets with prominent roles in my shows, but in this story Frito is an important character and an emotional support to Mitsuya, and often provides impetus for Mitsuya and Ishida to grow closer.

Have I mentioned this show is hilarious

Truly, so funny. I laughed out loud during most episodes. Ishida is a walking comedy show as he flails through life, and the few moments when Mitsuya's dignified exterior cracks will have you howling.

It gave us one of the best dates I have ever seen on my screen

I still think about this date all the time. It was so beautifully written to underscore why this couple fits and how they each meet the needs of the other. Just having seen this one day spent together, it's easy to understand how a life between the two of them would unfold.

This show has a mature and nuanced understanding of relationships

We get deep into the show's perspective on love and romantic relationships via the return of Mitsuya's ex, Kaoru, a plot which the story handles with remarkable grace. I loved the space they gave to Mitsuya's former love and need for closure, and that Kaoru was not treated like a villain. He even got to provide an assist to Ishida!

The main romance feels deep and compelling

All of this adds up so that by the time we got to the finale, I really believed in this romance and why Ishida and Mitsuya needed each other, and the way the show dug into their hesitations and fears around that was so moving. My only regret is this show is short and we can't follow them to keep watching their lives together, but we got what we needed to feel confident in their future. I will miss them.

[renthony]

Lost in the Remaster: Star Trek, Vintage Special Effects, and the Charm of Old Media

by Ren Basel renbasel.com

Originally created by Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek is a franchise that spans decades. From the original series of 1966 to current shows such as Lower Decks, it stands as a titan of television and pop culture. The real world has undergone incredible change since Star Trek’s first appearance, yet nerds everywhere still find entertainment, inspiration, and hope in its classic episodes. Recently, along with my husband and best friend, I decided I wanted to attempt the gauntlet of watching the entire franchise from beginning to end, revisiting favorites and finally checking out the ones I missed. Media and fandom studies are my passion, after all, and Star Trek is a foundational part of modern American nerd culture.

Starting with the original series proved more difficult than expected. Living in a tiny apartment, we don’t have much space for DVDs, so Star Trek wasn’t in our existing collection. The local public library didn’t have copies, either, and putting in a purchase request doesn’t guarantee it will be made available. My family doesn’t have the funds to pay for every single streaming service on the market, and Star Trek isn’t available on any we do have access to. Piracy was starting to look like the only option, but even that fell flat when we couldn’t find a version with subtitles. Finally we dug it up officially and with subtitles, for free via PlutoTV, but there were still limitations: PlutoTV only streams season one, and season one is only available in the remastered edition that replaced the original special effects with new visuals.

It wasn’t ideal, but, hey, it was Star Trek.

Watching just one episode a week gave us enough time to scrape together savings to get what we really wanted for seasons two and three: the official BluRay release, which includes both remastered and original-release versions of each episode. The remasters are fine, but as a lover of media history and practical effects, I’m always disappointed to lose a chance to appreciate the originals. It doesn’t matter how good it might look, remasters are never as much fun to me as matte paintings, camera tricks, and whatever the prop department could pull off with ten dollars and some glue.

Finally having the BluRays in hand for season two only affirmed my love of vintage practical effects. Seeing the Enterprise in her original glory, before she was ever rendered in digital form, felt like opening a time capsule. I love time capsules. My favorite pieces of media are always those which capture a moment in time, showcasing the aesthetics, concerns, and culture of the time and place they were created. Star Trek: the Original Series is rooted in the late sixties, when mainstream culture in the United States was experiencing immense upheaval and social change. That context is written all over the show. The vintage effects add to it, grounding it in a very specific time and place. Updating the show’s effects takes away some of that 60s aesthetic, and while some may see it as making the show more timeless, I don’t care for it. To me, seeing what they could pull off before modern technology is half the fun of watching old shows. The ingenuity and creativity of propmakers, makeup artists, and set designers working on shoestring budgets is unparalleled.

To be clear, digital effects are also done by skilled professionals who deserve much more respect and many more labor protections. There are some truly stunning works created with digital tools. That said, I hate when digital effects are used to cover up the practical effects that came before. It feels disrespectful to the original artists, as if telling them their work wasn’t good enough; as if their work was just a placeholder until something better could come along and fix it. Practical effects aren’t a placeholder, they’re an art form in their own right, and that art form is one for which I have deep appreciation.

It frustrates me that the original, non-remastered episodes were such a pain for us to access, but I’m very glad to have added them to my personal media collection. No matter what future tweaks Star Trek’s rights holders might make, I can always pop in our personal copies to enjoy the Enterprise and her crew in all their vintage, “outdated” glory. If you’re also too young to remember the show’s original airing, and you have the opportunity to watch the unedited version, I highly suggest you do. Watching the version that aired in 1966 gives the show a charm that no amount of remastering can ever match.

_

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[bevioletskies]

Love songs we listen to in high school are the best love songs ever because they are original soundtracks of our first love. / It’s okay, we still got time. I will be the subtitle for you. / If you’re staying late, I can take you home. Stay with me and you won’t get lost. / Do you think we can switch to liking someone else just because of a silly misunderstanding? / If God doesn’t want us to love each other, then what’s the point of having God in this world?

GEMINI NORAWIT & FOURTH NATTAWAT in the pilot trailers for MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2022), MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (2023), 23.5 (2024), MY LOVE MIX-UP! (2024), and TICKET TO HEAVEN (2025)

[alexanderwales]

Notes on 3000 miles

Last year my doctor told me that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a high resting heartrate. So I started biking on an exercise bike, and by my best estimations, I'm either close to hitting 3000 miles or have already gone past that.

I should clarify that this wasn't all at once. I took many breaks.

So here are some notes.

When I started, I was on an exercise bike that my wife had gotten from her work. It wasn't the best, but it was free, and I made a deal with myself that if I biked every day for a month, then I could justify getting something better. I really really did not want to buy a piece of exercise equipment that would just sit in the house gathering dust, because that would feel awful ... but I do kind of wish that I had gotten the better bike sooner, because it removed some of the "friction" of exercise, where it felt like there were too many reasons not to get on the bike. The new exercise bike (a refurbished Peleton off Facebook marketplace that my wife got me for Christmas) really does just feel and move better. I think the general principle of not doing costly monetary commitments until you've shown costly personal commitment is a good one, however.

Blood pressure is in normal range. Cholesterol is in normal range. Resting heartrate is in normal range. This was all the case three months in, and this level of cardio is more than enough to maintain it.

Right now, I bike for thirty minutes a day, going 8-10 miles according to the bike. That range is enormous, because it represents vastly different amounts of work. Going 10 miles in 30 minutes is 20 miles an hour, and I keep the resistance relatively high, so by the end of it I'm always panting. By contrast, going 8 miles makes me feel like I didn't put in enough work.

My goal every day is sweat-based and completely qualitative. I want to soak through a shirt. This means that doing more laundry than I'd prefer to, which is an unanticipated consequence of the biking. It's also, compared to all the metrics the bike gives me, a very clear sign that I am actually exercising my body "properly" in a way that's achieving something.

I did some of the Peleton classes, and found a lot of the metrics to be motivating, but ... eh. Exercise is mostly about being healthy and maintaining my body, so my current strategy, for the last six months, has been to either shut the brain down or keep it fully engaged in something that passes the exercise time. Usually this means a TV show, especially a foreign one with subtitles, which need slightly more brainpower.

The final two minutes is always the worst. I'm just ready to be done with it. Sometimes there's gas left in the tank, but I still feel sweaty, thirsty, and overheated. I have a water bottle, and I drink from it while I bike, and I have a fan pointed at me that I turn on once I'm warmed up, but I always have a sense, in those last two minutes, of "finally I'm done". I tried the thinking man's solution, only biking for 28 minutes, and this did not help. In my entire year of biking a half hour a day, I didn't ever elect to go into overtime.

I initially lost ten pounds, then slowly gained it back. I am, in fact, overweight, but I'm holding more or less steady now, and there have definitely been some body composition changes, with muscle replacing fat. I went down about four inches at the waist. I've changed very little about how I eat (which is 90% meals that I cook myself, and a daily coffee drink of some kind, usually made myself with sugar/cream/chocolate). Biking amounts to 300-400 calories a day or something like that, so I'm presumably eating more to compensate and just not realizing it.

Mental health has been rocky, but that's just sort of how it is for me. I definitely feel less mentally well on days that I don't bike, and feel better afterward, but I have no idea how tight the correlation is, and if I had been keeping track on a mood tracker, I'm not sure I would be able to sus out from self-reported mood alone whether or not I was biking.

During the summer I replaced a lot of indoor exercise bike stuff with outdoor biking. My son has only recently learned to bike, so he's been with me many of these times. Usually that means that we're either biking a lot less distance, or we're biking for a lot longer time at much lower intensity, sometimes both. There's a bike path that's downhill from our house which goes for maybe six miles, with some good, clear turn back points, but that means a fairly arduous uphill to get back home. If I lived in a place where the weather wasn't frigid for almost half the year, I would probably be doing outdoor biking more.

I think the most important thing, if you're doing exercise every day, is making sure that you're doing it in such a way that it's sustainable and virtually incapable of injuring you. This mostly means proper form. Early on, I had a habit of pressing down the right pedal with the outside edge of my foot, and after fifteen minutes of doing that, the muscles in the foot would be aching and uncomfortable. I'm not sure why I was doing that, but it was difficult to get myself to bike in a way that wouldn't be putting strain on me.

I think it's okay to skip a day ... if it's for the right reason. Of the days that I've skipped, I always try to make sure the reason isn't "fuck it, I don't want to". I should either be feeling sick, feeling like I need to rest, or replacing biking with some other form of exercise like a hike in the woods or some weightlifting or something. If I start skipping days because I just don't feel like it, that's where the whole scheme falls apart.

I am currently sort of wondering how long this is going to go on for, and I think the answer is "for the rest of my life", or at least until I'm unable to keep it up for whatever reason. I don't think there's any particular reason to prefer an exercise bike (or regular bike) over running or rowing or some other form of cardio, but I think I have proven to myself that this is cardio I can do daily and stick with it to the level that is probably necessary for me to stay healthy. I'm not committed to doing it for the rest of my life, since in theory some other form of cardio might come along and sweep me off my feet.

I do wish that I had started earlier in my life, even if daily exercise has not been the panacea for mental health that I had been kind of hoping it would be. I hope that I have the willpower and wisdom to keep up with it indefinitely.