#but theres some pieces man that embarrass me so much

[deadallover]

I mute all my old art that makes me cringe so I don't have to ever think about it but also never have to delete it, but that means if one ever goes mega viral for some fuckass reason I expect one of you to tell me.

[dwaekkicidal]

𝖪𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗍𝗈𝖻𝖾𝗋: 'Intense Desire' ༄࿔ L.F.

⤷ Sex Pills | Overstimulation | Squirting

♱ word count: 2.9k

♱ warnings: fem!reader, sex pills usage (felix accidentally taking them), mention of a handjob in a car, he gets “mean” for like a split second, unprotected p in v, rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampies, squirting, if u quint theres 1 sentence of angst at the end, i might be forgetting something

♱ notes: sorry this was delayed! I made it a little longer than the others in hopes that it would make up for the tardiness <3 also 1 the beginning might feel rushed (it was) and 2 sex pills dont completely work like this?? But its fiction so.. pls bare with me im so stressed out LMFAO

Kinktober Schedule

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

The pounding in Felix’s head was just enough to distract him from the colorful clothes around the two of you. The initially exciting shopping trip to the mall with your boyfriend had quickly slowed down thanks to the headache he developed out of the blue. Your comforting words and warm hands on his face only helped so much, and he felt horrible for his body refusing to let him enjoy your date.

It wasn’t until you reminded him of the medicines he had packed away in his bag that he let up on his pouting Then, with the familiar feeling of the plastic of a pill bottle on his fingers and a gentle reminder from you that this should be fun for the both of you, Felix finds himself leading you to the food court. He quickly buys a bottle of water and chugs down 3 pills. It’s over the dosage of 2 he normally would take, but he’s desperate to have a good time with you.

Not long after, he’s back to his normal self and the thumping pain in his head is long gone. Wide smiles and crescent eyes watch you pick out interesting clothes, some even meant to match with him. Everything is back to normal!

That is until 30 minutes after the fact when he’s patiently sitting outside of your changing room waiting for you to try on the next outfit. He starts to feel a new, less painful ache. One between his legs that he’s all too familiar with.

Literal lines of sweat are dripping down his forehead and his neck when you open the curtain to present the outfit you picked out. He forces a smile and has to tear his eyes away from the tight pants to give his opinion. A curt, breathy, “Beautiful.”

The sweat immediately catches your attention and obviously raises concerns from the way your eyebrows furrow. He notices right away and tries not to let it worry you, shooing you away and encouraging you to try on the last pieces of fabric that await you in the changing room.

The second the curtains close behind you he racks his brain for possible reasons as to why a sudden, strong feeling of horniness took over his body. It’s even to the point where his whole body tingles from the ceiling fans above him. The slow gusts of wind make his cock ache in his jeans and goosebumps litter his arms.

He doesn’t think he’s ever gotten this horny in his life. Even the time when you managed to rile him up to the point where he almost came in his jeans when you brushed past him he had never felt this way. He swore he could feel his veins burning as he looked through his bag for his phone, praying that Google would explain everything.

But he doesn’t get far enough to grab his phone, because the realization hits him like a tsunami wave. The pills. He realizes too late that he never checked which medicine he took. And sure enough, when he checked his bag, the tiny plastic bottle he had a hold on earlier wasn’t his Ibuprofen.

Instead, it was a blue pill bottle that he kept for special medicines that he would occasionally get prescribed. This time around, it was the brand new, not prescribed pills he had put to the side for… intimacy reasons.

It was embarrassing at first for him. A young, attractive man in his 20s struggling with his sex life. All thanks to the wear and tear from work stress: the unforgiving cycle of working too much and being overwhelmed, then taking a break and working too little just to fall behind.

You understood! It’s understandable to not be able to get hard when there’s a never ending dread that has made home in the back of your mind. And it was clearly obvious that he is attracted to you, every other time the two of you were intimate is enough evidence for that.

So you offered him an idea that might help! That idea being “horny” pills. It took some convincing and consistent reassurance for him to cave and agree. Which led to that little blue bottle of little red pills that made his not-so-little friend crave your attention.

“Lixie?” Your voice snaps him out of his daydreaming and his head snaps up to see your head poking out of the curtain. Your giggle goes straight to his dick and he has to force a smile to get through the ache. “I need your help with this dress. I can’t get the zipper up.”

You don’t need to ask twice, especially when the promise of getting to see your bare skin is on the table. He’s joining you in the blink of an eye, using his clammy, shaky hands to zip up the dress the rest of the way. Your body flushes at the way he licks his lips as he looks you up and down multiple times.

“Do you like it?” His eyes snap up to yours in the mirror and he nods. It’s pretty obvious to you what’s going on in his head at this point, minus the reason for it, so you rip the dress off and rush to the cashier as fast as you can.

Felix is on your tail the whole time. A hand on your hip and his chest pressed to your back as he shoves his credit card into the card reader. Then again when the two of you get to the car, this time both of his hands on your hips and his face shoved into your neck.

“Need you so fucking bad.” His hard-on is even more obvious now as he grinds it against your thigh, groaning and whining into your neck about how good it feels. You struggle to get the car keys out of his pocket when his hands are all over you, making you feel good when they aren’t even doing much.

“Felix… Not here.” The two of you drabbled in public sex before so it wasn’t a new experience for either of you. But it had been a while since the two of you were intimate so you really didn’t want it to be in the dirty car garage of a mall. In the middle of the day, mind you.

“I need something. Baby, please. I-I can’t do this.” The desperation in his voice is enough to make your neck whip around, almost knocking into his as you look back at him with confusion. He knows you all too well and the answer to your unspoken question is already on the tip of his tongue.

“I accidentally took those sex pills instead of pain meds.” He doesn’t bother explaining further; he doesn’t care anymore. The only thing that’s on his mind is getting you into the car so he can get some sort of stimulation on his poor, achy cock.

You're lucky to even have gotten his hands off of you after that, let alone getting him in the passenger seat and buckled in without him launching at you. However you’re even less lucky as you drive him home, one hand on the wheel and the other- well, on his dick.

You could hear the wetness of him jerking himself off before you saw it. He was keen to get your help though. His eyes were teary and his voice came out a distressed whine as he pleaded for you to help, complaining that his hand wasn’t comparable to how good your hand would feel.

The windows on your shared car are as tinted as legally possible, so you quickly cave and slide your hand toward him. Now 5 minutes away from the house, you quicken your hands in hopes that he’ll cum this soon. But luck isn’t on either of your sides today and the car’s already in park before he’s even close to cumming.

You don’t make it past the entryway before Felix is shoving you forward, pinning you to the wall, and pulling your bottoms to your knees. The sight of your panties all messy and your pussy lips equally as messy from your excitement is enough to make him feral.

“You’re so good to me, Honey. Always so obedient and keeping my pussy ready for me when I most need it. I’m going to give you the world and more.” He doesn’t wait for you to make a comment before he’s pushing your underwear to join your bottoms.

One hand rests on the wall by your face and the other pushes against your lower back, arching your back at the same time that he pushes his cock in. Your walls are warm and wet as they take every last inch of him in, almost as if two puzzle pieces were finally placed together.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and he sucks on your neck, whispering incoherent mumbles until he’s bottomed out. He only stops then to take deep breaths and calm his own body down. Now that he’s finally inside of you, the effects of the pills feel a million times stronger.

He genuinely feels like a dog in heat, hips still rutting into yours even as his mind tells his body to relax. It doesn’t listen in the slightest and after a short pause his hips are finding a rigorous rhythm. 

Felix is a man possessed behind you; nails digging into your skin leaving bruises to come and hips moving with more force than you thought he could give. It’s hard to think he’s not possessed with his filthy mouth, something he’s always been good at but it hits differently when he’s rock hard inside of you and eager to feel every inch of your body all at once.

You start to feel like the pills are affecting you. Your own body reacts to his fervent movements with warm clenches and moans that spur him on. You feel so sensitive and your orgasm sneaks up on you, causing you to wiggle in his hold. The shuffle of your limbs makes him lose his angle and you both whine.

“No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop. You gotta stay arched, baby. Yeah, just like that. Ffuck…” The hand on your back pushes you forward, completely squishing you against the wall as he tries to arch you back to how you previously were. He knows that he did it right when you start to flutter around him again and your moans ascend a few pitches.

With the other hand using all of his fingers to rub your clit back and forth, he pushes you over the edge. You clench around him as you moan into the wall, your arms shaking as you try to hold yourself up against it. He growls against your ear and bites down on it as he continues fucking you through your high.

He doesn’t stop after you’re done. If anything it only encourages him, the ache in his veins telling him that he needs to keep going and make you feel even better. And so he does, with one hand still furiously rubbing your clit back and forth while the other now moves to your waist and holds up your slouching form.

It just squeezes you appreciatively, almost even possessively as he holds you in place when you start to flail. It doesn’t become mean until in the midst of your thrashing, you move yourself just slightly to the point where he loses his angle again. He pushes his hand roughly against you and arches your back himself again, this time with a disgruntled snap. 

“Stop fucking doing that.” He’s huffing into your ear as his hips pick up pace, going even faster than he was before. “Be good or else I’ll bend you over with nothing to lean on.” But it’s hard to control your body when painful pleasure is swimming through your body. Even more so when you feel another orgasm lurking.

“B-Baby, fuck! Give me a sec, you’re-” You cut yourself off with a shriek as the hand on your waist moves to tangle itself in your hair. It uses the grip to pull you back up to rest your back flat against his chest. His other hand finally falters at this point, instead of rubbing your clit it sinks into your thigh.

“I’m what, Honey. Tearing up your guts?” He laughs out a sound of agreement that turns into a guttural groan as his blinding thrusts finally let up. A few sharp thrusts and a series of moans fall from his lips as he empties himself out inside of you. It feels like gallons of his seed are filling your stomach, and the feeling of it leaking out onto your inner thighs is enough to make you believe that’s the case.

If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. He just stands there with his forehead against your shoulder and his arms wrapped around your torso, mind reeling as he comes down from such an intense high.

“Baby. You didn’t cum with me at the end, did you?” He’s more upset that he faltered that badly, but the twitch of his cock lets you both know that he’s not close to being done regardless. The question is a real testament to your faith. Lie to him and maybe bribe him to let you take a break, or tell the truth and deal with the consequences. Though, it doesn’t seem like he was asking.

He pulls out and moves his hand to the small of your back. Neither of you even spared a glance at your bottoms as you’re dragged to the living room and shoved into the couch. It knocks the breath from your lungs momentarily, and it’s all the time he needs to bend you to his will. Your shoulders sink into the bottom cushions and your legs are hovering just above you as he shoves his cock inside of you again. 

The breath is almost knocked from you again as he finds a new, rougher pace to follow. This one isn’t nearly as fast but the new angle, thanks to your ankles being by his ears, sends him right where he wants to be. His previous load froths along his length as he fucks into you like your lives are on the line. 

Your hands find home on his biceps and your nails leave deep crescent shapes along his skin as you desperately try to find something to ground yourself with. The new vigor he fucks you with makes it so that your next orgasm builds up within a minute or two. The feral stare from his lidded eyes only makes your stomach squeeze as you realize that he really has no plans to stop, even if he really wants to. 

“Felix, baby, s-slow down. It feels w-weird.” You push against his stomach in hopes that it will slow him down, but it doesn’t. He stays quiet and only responds by grabbing your wrist and shoving it into the cushion by your head; a wordless command for ‘Hands off.’ You look up just in time to see his gaze grow more intense.

He even leans forward, both of his hands moving to your thighs to fold them into your chest. His hips pick up speed once he has you folded to his liking and you find that strange feeling growing stronger. You get a glimpse of him licking his pink lips that then perk up into a menacing smile and then the feeling grows too strong, forcing your eyes closed and your legs to combat his hold.

Your body can only shake as you gush around him and he curses under his breath at the sight. Your cunt spams around him and you squirt through his merciless fucking. The wet, squelching noises combat the volume of your cries to the point where he periodically goes out of his way to thrust into you even rougher just to hear it more.

“You hear her talking to me? Fucking shit- She really liked that, huh baby?” He laughs in disbelief and slams into you repeatedly, chasing his own sudden orgasm from watching you cum so intensely.

“That was so fucking hot, Baby.” The whine in his voice doesn’t match the cocky look on his face, but you can’t be bothered to comment about it as he finishes inside of you all of a sudden. Your sensitive walls constrict around him yet again and he cums deep inside, riding his own orgasm out to the sound of your overwhelmed sobs.

His chest heaves as he catches his breath and he takes the moment to glance at a clock on the wall. It’s been a few hours since he took the pills so they should be going down soon. He can already feel his brain going back to normal, and his thoughts are clearing up as the two of you sit there unmoving.

“You… Are you ok, Honey?” Your sniffles are enough to make his heart drop into his ass, but when you look up at him the anxiety leaves his body. You smile at him through the tears and laugh as best as you can while still breathless.

“Holy shit, Felix.” He matches your chuckle and leans forward, slotting your legs on either side of his waist as he repeatedly pushes his lips against your cheek. “I’m… great. But you owe me for fucking me within an inch of my life like that with no warning.”

Taglists: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess

@dreamingaboutjisung @everythingboutkpop @velvetmoonlght @4l17h4

@felixsangelicfreckles

[joshusten]

kiss and make up

In which Honey wants a makeover and Guy gladly helps. (lots of kisses, fluff, makeover time!!!)

2.7k+ words [ao3 will be added when im not lazy lmao] [masterlist]

[CW and notes: typical guy innuendoes, honey doesn't know how to do makeup and they get a lil insecure about that fact, that being said i'm not really a makeup expert too LMAO, theres also lots of grammar mistakes probably ;--; and since like, makeup styles and visuals vary between people i tried to make it as vague and gender neutral as possible but idk if i really achieved that so keep that in mind and please let me know if i should change some wordings etc. ! oh and lmk about typos too hehe tysm!]

thank you so so much to my dearest friend @slushiepizza !! this wip is literally a year long and they've been a HUGE HUGE (x1000) help to me finishing (and convincing to post) this fic!! this fic's also inspired by fanart they made before and this yt short from that one anthony padilla interview. also yes theres a lil 2024 hbs guy AAAND jin (his gamer friend in that second hoodie video i think) reference too lmao HAHAHAH hope you enjoy!! :D "Ugh! Why can't I fucking–" 

“Piece of—!”

“Fuck!”

Another frustrated groan cuts Honey off. For the past few minutes, Guy had been hearing his partner's muffled frustrations from their room all the way to their humble kitchenette and he was seriously starting to get worried about what could possibly be troubling their usually well-composed lover.

He quickly turned off the stove, wiping his hands on the piercingly hot pink apron with the words "Please Do More than Kiss the Chef" embroidered on its body (a joke gift, courtesy of Rosa being his Secret Santa last year, that Guy legitimately used in his every day, much to his friend’s amusement). Fortunately, the lunch he was making was done by the time he decided to check up on them (and, really, it was just a simple one-pot pasta recipe he stumbled on Tiktok at 3 AM.)

Guy haphazardly hung the apron by a chair nearby—future Guy can worry about all of the mess later—and made his way to the hallway that led to their small shared bedroom.

He gently knocked a little melody on the door,  announcing his presence through the painted wood. "Honey?”

A thump was heard, as if something suddenly dropped out of surprise, followed by a faint “Shit!”

The man knocked again, this time with a furrowed brow.

“Honey dearest? Lover of mine? Is someone botherin’ you? Need to kick someone’s ass?” He joked, clearing his throat afterward for a more sincere tone. “But for real, do you need any help there, baby?”

The silence that followed almost tempted Guy to ask again before a loud sigh came from the other side.

"Yeah…It's unlocked. You can come in..." 

They almost sounded embarrassed. A little shy even. The man couldn’t help but grin at how comfortable Honey had become showing him their more vulnerable sides throughout their time together. 

Guy opened the door slowly to reveal their usual semi-tidy bedroom save for the mess that seemed only to be contained around Honey, whose head was currently hanging low in shame. Alarms went off in his mind once he processed the potential severity of the situation with how distressed his partner looked.

He rushed to where Honey sat, in front of the vanity where a variety of make-up products were strewn across the dark oak wood. Upon closer inspection, he could see that—

Oh. Uhm. This was interesting.

His partner’s frustrated face seemed to be an amalgamation of different cosmetics that looked like they were hastily smeared on and rubbed off multiple times. 

Patchy foundation, unblended blush, shaky eyeliner. 

Guy can practically feel the heat coming off their tinted face, furrowing their brows and averting their glare to the side.

“Look, I know what this looks like but—" Honey was never able to finish their sentence as a very, very poor attempt of stifled giggles reached their burning ears. Oh my god, he's never gonna let them live this down, is he? 

“Guy.”

“Wh-whaaaat? N-no, you look f-fine Honey! Pfft–” A snort interrupted the man's words of reassurance. 

“Guy, stop laughing, you asshole!” They groaned, sending a flurry of light slaps to Guy's shoulders, snickering along to indicate that they weren’t actually mad at him because, yeah, they did look a little silly (and his laugh was too damn cute to distract them from their predicament) but that still didn't make them any less self-conscious about it.

“I-I–OW! I don’t know what you mean, baby!”

Honey crossed their arms and made a face, looking away in a pretend-but-not-really sulk. 

“Fine, so I’m horrible at makeup ha-ha! Pack it up, jackass!”

To that, their boyfriend's laughter slowly died down, leaving him with a soft, sympathetic smile. 

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry! C’mere,” He apologized, beckoning them to come closer to which Honey begrudgingly complied. His smile brightened, pressing numerous quick kisses against his partner’s grumpy face, pulling away with a string of giddy giggles.

“Ew, I got your foundation on my lips.”

“Serves you right,” Honey huffed, unable to hold in a chuckle as they saw the faint splotches of the coating in their skin color on their boyfriend’s stubbled chin and pouted lips.

“So, uh, mind telling me what actually happened over here? ‘Cuz, Honey, you’re as pretty as a painting…given that it’s a painting my baby cousin can do, which I’m assuming isn’t what you were going for?” Guy asked, his full attention to his partner's make-up Frankenstein of a face.

The embarrassment rushed back to Honey tenfold but they masked it up with a shrug that looked timid regardless. “I dunno…there’s this event in the evening with my company and I just…wanted to try something new with my look. I-it's stupid. I started a lot earlier because I knew I’d need some time to learn but…I just can't get the hang of it!”

Sure, they know make-up isn’t all that easy to do but managing to tremendously fuck up something as seemingly simple as putting color on their face despite the amount of tutorials they’ve watched was just embarrassing to admit (especially to someone they’ve grown to care about what he thinks of them). They braced themself for more mocking laughter yet the teasing never came. Instead, they heard an excited gasp.

"Oh, I can do your makeup for you!"

…What?

"Uhm– I– You–?"

Guy picked up the wiped near Honey and started pulling a few from the already-opened plastic pack. The subtle clean scent of aloe vera wafted into their nostrils.

"I can do your make-up!" The man repeated happily, oblivious to Honey's quizzical stare. He gently grabbed their chin with one hand while the other one held the cleanser-soaked napkin inches closer to their cheek before he stopped and gazed into their eyes, "Can I?"

"Uh…Y-yeah. Sure." They felt their breath hitch at the sudden intimacy of the distance between them.

Guy beamed at that and started removing the product on their face but the confused expression never leaves it. He discarded the used wipes in the trash can under the vanity table and started sifting through their shopping spree's worth of cosmetics.

“I suggest you buy micellar water or cleansers instead of those wipes. They do a better job!”

“Uh, Guy?”

"Oh, you got this one! Yeah, I really like their formula, it doesn't feel too heavy on the skin. Well at least on my skin. Let me know if it doesn't feel comfy and–"

"Guy…"

"Woah, you got your shade just right with this one! Ah, but I think this brand oxidizes so the color might change–"

"Guy."

"Ooh, I haven’t seen this product before! Is this newly released or—”

"Guy!” Honey exclaimed, finally capturing their boyfriend’s ever-so-dwindling attention. “Babe. How…I mean, not that I'm doubting your skills or anything but–" 

By this time, Guy had already cleaned all of the makeup off from his partner and was now left with the face he was more used to seeing (and admiring).

"It's just…I've never seen you wear makeup. At all. Besides Halloween, I guess?”

The man simply grinned at that and continued rummaging through the cases of eyeshadows and face creams. “If you must know, a performer was moi!” 

“Oh, trust me, I'm familiar with your theatrics.”

“I’m just gonna pretend you meant that as a compliment,” He huffed, averting his gaze to the products that lay between them both. “Anyway, I did a lot of shows back then and, well, with constantly getting your face painted on, you pick up a few techniques, y'know? I even get to do my own makeup!”

The click and clatter of glass and plastic fills the room as Guy carefully examines each container with the same look he gets when he proofreads a revision of a script he made. It was almost weird to see how his eyes scanned the text of the labels and his habit of biting the inside of his cheek while focusing on the context other than the familiar blue light of his laptop.

“Got interested, asked my friends, then watched a few vids. I got to…’secretly borrow’ some of my mom's makeup to test out some looks.” The image of a teenage Guy experimenting with makeup much like what Honey was doing a while ago tickled their mind.

“But eh, college got in the way and I never really got the time to play around with some flashier makeup styles between delivering greasy ass pizzas and delivering exquisite screenplays that excite the mind and bewitch the heart.”

He held up a circular blush pot near a dumbfounded Honey. His eyes squinted with focus until he finally determined the blush matched their skin tone just fine. 

“Anyway, let's get some moisturizer to prep that cute face of yours!”

After Honey described what they wanted for their look, scrolled through Pinterest to get some inspiration, and watched a few more tutorials, the pair eventually got started with the process.

Guy put on an even layer of foundation, and concealer that he tried his best to match their skin, added contour, eyeshadow and blush according to the style they had requested, and painstakingly drew on some eyeliner (“Because everybody looks hotter with eyeliner!”). He had even let them try a few brush strokes of their own to get the feel of it.

Honey, on the other hand, felt like they were going to explode from the attention they’d been getting from him. Granted, they were no stranger to his affections yet something about the way he was so close—to the point where they could feel the warmth emanating from him, where the way his breath ghosts their neck made them tremble—it was a whole different experience.

The man added some finishing details to Honey’s face before announcing the final step: lipstick.

“Hm, let’s try these colors. Maybe it’s more your style.” He brought up a few plastic tubes with one hand closer to them, awaiting their input on his selection.

“Have you tried these brands before?”

“Uh, not really…I don’t think I’ve actually tried the liquid ones or the twisty ones. What’s the difference anyway? They both color your lips, right?”

Guy laughed at the sheer creativity of the nickname his partner had appointed to the lipsticks in his hand.  “Ah well, I’m glad you asked, Honey!”

He twisted up the matte tube and swiped the creamy formula on his lips, smacking them to spread it evenly. The color on his lips only emphasizes the smirk it formed, amused by the hitched breath Honey lets out as he gently cradled their face and brought it closer to his.

“Solid lipstick doesn't last long. See?” 

He demonstrated this by pressing his mouth on the back of his hand a few times to reveal pigmented marks against his skin. The man even gestured toward his face to show that the tint of the lipstick had significantly faded.

“Huh.” 

Honey was definitely studying his lips, alright. It formed into the same old smile they never got tired of, this time with its edges slightly smeared from what he had done moments ago. They were so entranced that they didn't even notice Guy reaching for a clear tube, this time twisting it to reveal an application wand with a different hue of the lipstick before, quickly applying it on his lightened lips.

“While liquid lipstick—” His quip breaks Honey’s lip-centered daydream and with a sudden movement, Guy pressed his colored lips gently against Honey's bare ones,  the latter letting out a quiet squeak that made the man eagerly press down harder. He slowly pulled away, close enough to have just an inch of space between their mouths.

“...Is kissproof!” 

He was right. Honey could see that Guy’s lips still looked the same with no sign of smudging or transferring of the product. Not that the efficiency of the lipstick is what’s on the forefront of their mind at the moment.

“O-oh,” their voice cracked rather pathetically but Guy only let out a laugh, holding up the twisted-up tube of the lipstick he first used near the other’s visibly quivering lips.

“Hm…now that I see it, I think the shade on the ‘twisty one’ fits your look better. Let’s use that!” 

A wide-eyed Honey simply nodded in response.

—

“...And then here’s your make-up bag, just in case you need to retouch! So, what do ya think? Stunning? Iconic? Gorgeous? Oh, oh! Pulchritudinous? Ehh?”

Honey turned to the vanity mirror for the first time in a while and gaped in the reflection. 

“It's…” They raised their hand, opting to feel their face before deciding otherwise as they realized it might waste all of their boyfriend’s hard work. Honey racked in every corner of their brain for a word to encompass the awe they’re in right now, wishing they had even just a fraction of Guy’s mind to express it in words. 

But for now, they’re just Honey—who isn’t particularly known for their expertise in saying what they mean and they settle for the answer they weren’t satisfied with at all.

“It’s pretty.” 

The person staring back at them looked so different yet still the same. It felt like looking at themselves from a different perspective. Pretty was hardly an adequate descriptor for what they were looking at but it’s all they could think about in their dazed state (the way their partner beamed at their compliment told them he didn’t mind).

“You’re the pretty one, hon! With or without make-up! I mean, c’mon! Look at that smile!”

That earned a wider smile from Honey with Guy giddily matching it.

“I’d have to thank my handsome make-up artist for that. He did such a wonderful job after all.” 

“How do you suppose you’ll do that then, Honey?”

This time, Honey was the one to surprise their lover with a kiss.

BONUS SCENE:

“Do you really have to go?” Guy whined though he already knew the answer. That didn’t stop him from snaking a hand around Honey’s waist, who was just leaving through the door of their shared apartment.

“Yes, Guy. I really have to, especially with how long you’ve been painting on my face, there’s a possibility I might get late,” they explained, giving him an apologetic look despite the scolding tone of their voice. 

“Well, who can blame me when my Honey’s looking absolutely ravishing,” He pulls Honey closer with his usual goofy smile, though this time they notice a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Besides, just a while ago it seems like you wanted your face to be painted with something else, ehh—mmph!”

Honey had cut him off by pressing their lips tenderly against his once more, eliciting a relaxed sigh from him. They pulled back to see a pouty expression plastered on Guy’s face.

“Fuck. Y-you’re enjoying that stunt way too much, it’s not fair!”

“I wasn’t the one that started it!”

“Fine, whatever!” Guy lamented loudly, complete with his hand clutching overdramatically on his chest. “Be like that, go to your party, then! See if I care!”

Honey just rolled their eyes with a smile. “One last goodbye kiss?” 

And how could he ever say no to that?

So after a quick peck on Guy’s cheek (maybe two or three more), Honey finally made their way out the door, leaving him a bit lightheaded than before. 

Despite his lovesick state, he was quick to make his way over to the couch and started setting up his game console connected to their T.V. Since his Honey would be out for most of the night, he decided to invite a friend over to play video games and kill some time.

Knock, knock. Ah, speak of the devil. “Jin! Come in, man!”

Guy swung the door open to reveal a man his age, carrying a paper bag full of chips on one arm and a game controller on the other. He set down the snacks on the second-hand coffee table before settling himself on the couch his friend was sitting on. 

“Sorry for being a little late, just had to do a few things. So, what game are we…Oh.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” “Dude. I think you should look at a mirror.” --

yes jin like one of guys friends that he plays with in that one hoodie video. with no voice line or anything at all. that jin. LMAO

anyway i rlly hope u enjoy this :")) i honestly dont think its my best work LMAO but eh! im here 2 have fun man,,, and this probably would be my last fic (atleast in a while but aughh idk if i'll be active again here HAHAJHAD) so yeah!! hope u liked it tysm have a good night/day!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Keep requesting from different people with no luck but what if jason voorhees had a S/O who reads to him when he's "sleeping" in the lake and he has dreams about the story and has a dream of him and the reader as beauty and the beast?

Reading B&B to Jason + Dream stuff!

while this isnt a slasher blog and i am grossly underqualified to speak of anything book related to beauty and the beast, i truly do love this idea + i really felt the whole request thing </3 this aint perfect but i hope you enjoy it regardless! may your other/future requests be answered someday! !!!quick note, admins only exposure to beauty and the beast is the original disney film, they have never read any renditions of it so theyre going off the basic bare bones concept not proof read, i am literally belting this out before i gotta bake an order </3

I could be silly, i could make him dream of himself as the beauty as opposed to being the beast, but im not 100% sure how i would go about writing that.... perhaps ill save that for the next time my slasher brainrot strikes me

i think he would love that you read for him, small little act that helps heal that inner child inside him + it reminds him of how his mom used to read to him at night. its almost bittersweet... im torn on whether or not pam would've read him beauty and the beast/similar adjacent tales. I admit, I'm not sure how many renditions of the story there are, and which ones were around when Jason was a kid but lets say, for convivence lets say she didnt

whenever you read to him hes hooked on every word you say, head in your lap and looking up at you with this sort of sparkle in his eye. loves it when you put on goofy voices for different characters. generally a very calm and peaceful moment between the two of you

so imagine offering to read the story to him, and he is just. totally immersed. even before he falls asleep he sees the parallels between the book and you, bonus if you somehow find a way to show him the disney movie of it

as for the dreams, naturally he's in the beasts position. solitary and secluded away from others, and self admittedly from the man himself, a sight for sore eyes (no matter how much some may disagree), and you as the beauty (not that much changes in the dream, he already sees you as something radiant)

the first time he has the dream he doesnt really say anything about it, actually he doesnt remember most of the dream thanks to him nearly forgetting everything that second he wakes up

but the dream keeps happening, even long after you first read the story to him, and each night he seems to be able to piece everything together

you wander into his home, and he keeps you. protects you, actually. the events of your arrival in the dream are blurred, but seem to line up with how you first entered his life.

theres no talking furniture, unfortunately

however i do wanna say theres talking animals in their place

nature boy

actually, jason doesnt seem to be a prince in his dreams, just a simple man

hes not even a physical monster in his dreams.

but unlike the disney adaptation, when the whole... breaking the curse thing happens, there is no transformation. so hey, theres that at least

he eventually talks to you about it, sheepishly signing the details to you as he tries to not seem embarrassed about it. but he cant help but to get giddy when he sees your smile

"aww you dream about me?" is a comment sure to make his signing pause for a second before he covers his hands over his mask

i wish i had more for this but im on a bit of a time crunch atm and as stated in the authors note my only exposure is the disney film and SOBS

you (making sure hes okay with the nickname first, obviously) playfully call him beast, and he starts calling you beauty

the story eventually kind of becomes you guys' thing, like how some couples have their song or their movie or their whatever

[tendril-perversion]

Tongue

Fandom: Stormlight Archive Pairing: Tyn/Shallan Davar Rating: Explicit Details: No warnings, ~2,900 words, oneshot, technically maybe canon compliant. if you have a huge brain Summary: butch tyn make shallan go brrrr; or, what if i rewrote the wor chapter 'tyn' to be about oral instead A/N: I just reread this chapter then a few hours later wrote this so I probably completely made up what her tent looks like/how some of the canon dialogue went but who cares theres lesbianism afoot

--

"If I can say, you've got quite the tongue on you, Brightness," the man laughed across the campfire at Shallan.

Shallan curled her legs in under her tighter and looked at him blankly. "I've never had anyone's tongue on me", she said, the words coming out of her mouth before she could review them. Curse this tongue indeed! But she would not react, delivering the quip as dryly as she meant to. The merchants howled at it, including Gaz, who slapped his knees. "It ain't half bad, miss," he said in mock lechery, "It's quite nice, actually." He was a man with rather base interests, but they both knew any serious attempt at seduction would embarrass and offend both parties. She leveled a look at him and he raised his hands in surrender. The caravan went back to their activities, Gaz brushing the leather of his boots with a cloth and Shallan to her note taking. She turned to a blank page of the notebook and wrote the names of the men she was with, as well as Tyn and the slaves. She tapped her charcoal pencil against the edge of the book, thinking. She didn't know what to make of the bunch yet, having only been with them a few days. Certainly, it was a busy few days, filled with travel and violence, but it was just under 60 hours by her calculations. Not nearly enough time to get a proper sense of anyone. And besides, if she was pretending to be a smooth and domineering woman like Jasnah, who's to say they were who they said they were?

She went down the list and found Tyn's name. She wanted to get her alone and talk with her. Maybe there was something Tyn would admit in private when she wasn't being the leader of her Caravan. Shallan drew a column beside the list of names and labeled it "Initial Impressions". Maybe this could be an incriminating document if anyone here got their hands on it, but Shallan doubted any of them could read women's script. She also decided to write in Veden, lessening the chances of it being read. Down the line it was easy to reflect on her initial impressions of the men. They were largely deserters, gruff and not very bright. There were some hidden gems among them, but it was more like finding a skychip among your clearchips. Worth more, sure, but hardly brighter.

She found herself back at Tyn's name. Beside it, immediately she wrote "masculine". That was easily the first thing of note. Masculine, but in a way that didn't feel like a piece of circumstance. Shallan had met women before who wore trousers, or gloves. Usually dark eyed work women. And those women seemed to only do so because their job demanded it of them. It's hard to milk a sow with a sleeved hand, Shallan imagined. Or cut someone's hair. Or drive a caravan. The women who wore trousers always knew they had a dress waiting for them at home, for occasions they could shed the trappings of their dull, lower caste life and be women, fully as they desire to be. Shallan could see that in how even when scraping excess crem off her father's steps after a storm, the housekeepers still wore rouge on their cheeks. They still kept their hair up in ornate combs that could very well have been a precious gift to them. They still carried themselves with a feminine gait, much like the one that was trained into Shallan by her tutors. There was a grace and beauty to making anything you do feel feminine. Some women oozed the sweetness of their gender out of their ears it seemed. Those women could make shoveling chull dung out of a pen feel as feminine as painting a bowl of fruit while someone played the flute and another combed your hair.

Other women, ones like Tyn, had the opposite effect on things. She wasn't brutish or clumsy or dirty, of course, it wasn't an antithesis in that respect. It was more like everything she did held the masculine beauty that Princes, or particularly handsome men did. Using her safe hand didn't feel awkward for her, it didn't draw attention. Watching her with her sword gave the impression it was merely an extension of her arm, stretched out to defend her and her crew. The way she reached up to pull her hair back was masculine too, like she's never had anyone do it for her and has perfected doing it with both hands and grace. She sat with her knees open, none of the practiced positioning of a woman in skirts but all of the confidence and ease of someone very comfortable with their body and clothes. The thought of that made Shallan fidget. Were dresses uncomfortable for her? No, she liked them, liked how pretty they were. Liked how secure and modest she felt as they drape and shift over her knees. Looking at Tyn in her trousers with her legs spread like that was nearly profane, nearly erotic.

Shallan flushed, suppressing a squeak and shutting her book. Maybe she'd reflect on the members of her caravan later. She probably just needed to go for a walk. Though it was already growing dark, the fires of the caravan would offer enough of a lit perimeter for her to clear her head in. But before she could banish any thoughts about the suave woman she had only just met, one of her slaves approached her to inform her Tyn wished to see her.

Tyn's tent stretched out on the leeward side of her wagon, held up on thin but sturdy reeds and staked into the dirt so it wouldn't blow away Obviously it wasn't designed to weather a high storm, but rather to be quick to fold up should one come up unexpected. Right inside the door-flaps was her bedroll, which Shallan stepped carefully over. The rest of the area was occupied by a stack of crates with a board on top, and two more crates to either side, each with a small grass-stuffed pillow on top. Tyn sat on one of the makeshift seats at the makeshift table. Before her were two bowls, hers a dark red and heavily spiced, with a lighter dish on the other side, Shallan's. The intimacy of having both a man's meal and woman's meal at the same table wasn't lost on Shallan. But this was the frost lands, a long way from propriety anyways. Besides, Tyn was a woman. Shallan sat primly, carefully tearing off some bread to dip into her bowl. Now was her chance to get to know Tyn better.

After both bowls were scraped clean, and a glass of yellow-green wine to be had each (Shallan downing hers after sampling a bite of Tyn's curry, unaware of just how HOT food can get), their conversation had drifted. They had already talked about each other's motives, and had decided to go into the business of being confidence women together. For now, at least, until either got what they were looking for at the shattered plains.

"So," Tyn said in her raspy voice, reclining. "You've really never had a tongue on you?" This elicited a cough from Shallan, who was caught unawares by the shift in tone. She flushed, easily thanks to the mild drink within her. Tyn laughed. "Relax! No, really though, never?" Her tone was more than a little incredulous. "Never," Shallan admitted, not meeting the warm pale brown haze of her dining partner. "Not even any of the tradesmen-?" "Tyn! Of course not! I am betrothed after all." Shallan bristled at the idea of doing anything, ANYTHING, with the likes of Tvlakv and company. They were close to thrice her age to begin with! Tyn was one of the younger ones, and she still probably had more than five years on Shallan's 19. It was hard to tell with her. "It's a causal," Tyn reminded her. "Besides, everyone fools around a bit sometimes. Never even as a kid?" Shallan bit down on an admission that she was kept sheltered at home, only really ever seeing her family. She settled for shaking her head. "Storms, girl."

Tyn shifted in her seat, moving to face Shallan more directly. She brought her bare safe hand (the glove tucked into her belt, as she need not cover it in her private quarters) up to cup Shallan's jaw. Shallan inhaled sharply, praying Tyn didn't notice the slight flicker to the gemstone lamp in the corner of the too-dark tent. Of course Tyn didn't, for she held Shallan's gaze in her own eyes, whispering so quietly that even if anyone was listening they wouldn't hear. Shallan felt Tyn's hot, spicy breath on her lips before her words registered. "Have you done this with anyone yet?" Tyn waited only a beat, giving Shallan a chance to rebuke her, before leaning in to kiss her. Shallan froze momentarily, ten thousand thoughts filling her head at once, each and every one of them getting stuck in the sap-like ichor of wine and good company that resists such busy thinking. She opened her mouth against the kiss, taking Tyn's upper lip in between hers. She covered Tyn's hand with her own, which made the older woman hum appreciatively. As suddenly as it had happened, it was done, however. Tyn pulled away, standing. She held her hands down and out for Shallan to take.

"Come here, girl." Dazed a bit, but thoroughly entranced, Shallan took her hands and let Tyn lead her to the bedroll. They stood there, nearly brushing the roof of the cramped tent with their heads. Tyn had to lean down, even, something she didn't seem to mind as it let her put her face closer to Shallan's. Her fingers went up to the clasps of the front of Shallan's dress, near her neckline. "May I, Shallan?" Shallan nodded, swallowing thickly, and gasping as Tyn's lips, then tongue, found her neck. Tyn made quick, careful work of the frog ties that held the two halves of the dress together across her bodice. Storms! Shallan's heart pounded in her ears. What was she doing? Anticipationspren wiggled silently around her feet. Should she stop this? Tyn knew she was promised to someone else, but that was to a man. This was different, right? It wasn't like this counted as violating the marriage bed, right? Never had Shallan felt such a gentle focus on her like this before. It was certainly lust that had her entranced. Infatuation or love had no part in this. Her heart continued to thud relentlessly under Tyn's lips. Storms, the men were right, it does feel quite nice to have someone's tongue on you.

Tyn's hands slipped into the top of Shallan's dress, cupping her breasts through her slip. Shallan wasn't stupid, she knew this was part of… well part of… sex. But she had never indulged herself like this, with fingers circling her nipples, ever before. She usually had nursemaids to bathe her, and tutors declaring it wrong and unladylike to even think about. She'd seen a diagram, once, and got the briefest of explainers from a tutor in the general mechanics there upon, but that was what it was like with a man. This was Tyn, who while masculine and leading the way, was no man at all. Shallan didn't know where to put her hands. They fidgeted at her sides and up to touch Tyn's back and back down between each shaking breath she took. Oh, Almighty this was…. something so new. There were senses being activated she didn't know she had and-

Tyn kissed her again, skipping her tongue into Shallan's mouth. Tyn spun the pair of them and lowered them to the bedroll, Shallan on her back and Tyn, still kissing her, above. She pulled away, kneeling back and looking at Shallan. "Whew," she whistled. "You're something else, girl." Shallan blushed at her state, disheveled and half dressed. She moved to cover her chest, but Tyn swooped in, capturing a dark brown nipple in her mouth. Shallan keened, tipping her head back against Tyn's pillow. Oh! That is what they meant with the comments about tongues. Tyn's tongue flicked around the stiff peak, suckling at it greedily, her hand massaging the neglected breast in turn. She pulled away, switching sides and returning to her efforts to rip every breath from Shallan the second she inhaled them. Shallan curled her fingers into the bedroll, shuddering. Tyn was being so gentle with her, yet so focused on giving Shallan everything. This reminded Shallan nothing of what crass talk she'd heard her brothers or the sailors make. That had always made it sound so violent, so transactional. But nothing about Tyn's mouth and hands lavishing her breasts made Shallan feel like a whore. It made her feel good. Really, really good.

Tyn slid back off Shallan, but not before stealing another kiss, the taste of Shallan's salty caravan-trodden skin mingling with the lingering spice of the curry on her tongue. "Don't stop? Well, if you insist," Tyn laughed, and Shallan only then realized that she had breathed the command at the conwoman. "I've got something else in mind though, I promise you'll like it." She scooted back, carefully running her hands up Shallan's legs under her skirts. Shallan blushed, realizing she hadn't been wearing bloomers, just the blue dress and slip. The one pair she had were borderline unseemly to wear, and she hadn't had a chance to wash them yet. Tyn lit up at this discovery, flicking Shallan's skirts up to her waist, exposing her thighs and crotch. "A girl after my own heart," Tyn chirped, before petting Shallan's thighs and coaxing them apart. Tyn was still fully dressed, so what could she possibly want with Shallan's- Shallan inhaled sharply as Tyn's warm brown fingers traced through the thatch of red curls at the apex of her thighs and in between. Shallan didn't realize she could be so sensitive there, so sensitive in such a wonderful, delicious way. Tyn rested her forehead against Shallan's, practically panting like someone who had ran a marathon. "I didn't expect you'd be this slick for me, Shallan," Tyn gasped, pleased. "Just you wait." She pressed on with her fingers, teasing at the top of Shallan's slit, massaging circles into something that felt so so so so so good. "I know it feels good," Tyn whispered. "Let it."

She leaned back, moving to lay on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, her mouth puffing hot breaths onto Shallan's lower body. She wouldn't… would she? That can't taste- it can't be clean! How filthy! Shallan thought, shaking with pleasure at the thought. What would anyone think, to see the only heir of house Davar, a proper lighteyeed woman, betrothed to a prince, be taken apart like this on a dirty bedroll in a slaver's caravan, by a woman in trousers. Shallan bucked her hips up against Tyn's face as soon as her lips brushed her skin. Tyn reached around her thighs, holding Shallan in place so she wouldn't float away into the skies as Tyn's tongue parted her folds. Her tongue flicked its way through the warm, slick, and terribly sensitive slit, before circling that spot again. Tyn sucked it in between her lips, brushing it again and again with her tongue. She lapped at Shallan, who had abandoned all pretense of trying too keep her head on straight, a long breathy whine falling from her mouth around a bit knuckle. Unconsciously, her other hand found one of her nipples and pulled at it, desperate for something, something just out of reach, that maybe if she just overwhelmed herself, if she just kept feeling everything she'd find it-

Shallan came apart beneath Tyn's ministrations with a choked cry. Her thighs shook in Tyn's arms, the other woman drinking in Shallan's pleasure. She carefully pulled herself from Shallan and pushed herself up to her knees. Shallan looked positively ravished, her bodice undone and bearing her small pale breasts, nipples red and pebbles against the cool air and a faint bruise starting to blossom on the side of one of them. A little momento Tyn left for her. Shallan heaved another breath deep from her chest again and again, trying to will her soul to cram back in her body for a single thundering minute. Sweat stuck hair to her face, and she released her knuckle from her jaws to brush it from her face, teeth marks denting the flesh on either side. She felt the cool wind whisper through the flaps of the tent and against her wet thighs and groin, which she pulled her skirts against the chill of. She looked up at Tyn, who looked as pleased as a mink who had found a fish. Tyn pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her face and her hands with it. The room, however drafty, hung with a scent Shallan had never encountered in such pungency. "That, Shallan, is what it feels like to have a tongue on you." Shallan sighed, drained of any energy to reply with more than, "I think you mean it's what it feels like to have a tongue in me, Tyn."

a/n: this is the first fanfic ive written in literally half a decade. also if theres typoes: no there isn't. you're imagining things. i refuse to have my shit betaed

[fragariajain]

was tagged by @worm-priest

♡: Who is your favorite KPop group?

P1harmony and NCT Dream!

♡: Which member sparked your interest first?

Soul for p1won, I liked his dancing

Jisung from Dream, i liked his dancing (Lol)

♡: Who was your first bias?

p1won: soul

Dream: chenle

♡: Who is your current bias?

p1won: soulseob <3

Dream: chensung

♡: What makes them your current bias?

For soulseob i just think they remind me of me and my friend a lot :c that and i like how hardworking they are

Chensung have had my heart since 2016 theres so much I could say about those boys but it'd be a 10k word essay (ignore me being unloyal for 00 line for like a year ignore it)

♡: Who is your bias wrecker?

p1won: the whole group but mainly intak atm

Dream: Renjun, that man is so fine

♡: Which member (s) are you currently obsessing over that aren’t your bias/bias wrecker?

p1won: probably jiung. i just cannot get over how talented he is

Dream: haechan!!! kicking my feet & giggling honestly

♡: When did you first discover this group?

P1won: embarrassing to admit but the very end of last year, I had heard their songs before but from like 2021-mid 2023 I had fallen out of kpop for a while

Dream: debut bby <3

♡: Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

no im poor trying to go to p1won this year (dream too if i can afford both)

♡: What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

P1won: late night calls, that'$ money, ayaya, fall in love again, super chic, i am you, siren, if you call me, end it

Dream: (im biased towards we young era it was the first album i ever bought) walk you home, trigger the fever, la la love, my first and last, beautiful time, dunk shot, puzzle piece, we young, my page

tagging: @itskpopular

don't kill me chels ur just one of my only moots <3

[superdeluxeaverage]

I thimk megalopolis was one of the most shitass movies ive ever seen but im glad i saw it in theatres and am gonna see it again with my sister thursday like the best way to describe it would be that it feels like a bad adapatation of a book that doesnt exist there was so much straight up stupid moments in it it felt like unreal spoilers if any1 even gives a shit

Theres this scene where adam drivers gets shot but his face heals with the power of the megalon and he has his face in wraps and when he takes his wraps off and reveals his healing face it plays THE most generic indian and tabla musical cue that in no way matches with the rest of the soundtrack and puts this fucking snapchat ass filter where theres like doubles of him behind him to his left and right infinitely going abd i was like is this fuckinh chowder or some shit. Ill never say the movie was good tho cause theres something i see no one talking abt atleast on letterboxd presumably cause they love deepthroating autuer dick so much even (or especially) when they kno the auteur in question is a creep but there was this weird subplot where there was this pop star with a like "virgin teen" image and they leaked a sex tape of her and the main character so the main character was arrested for being a pedophile but then it was immediately after revealed that the tape was faked (?) (They never say how they just say it was faked) and that the pop star was actually not from america abd was in her 20s. This whole subplot is obv coppola trying to exonerate all his sex offender best friends and its such a gross kneejerk response like why say the tape was fake but then also say oh shes a bad person dishonest liar too lol. Then when its showing news reports of it it cuts to her lile having changed her image to a like pop punk image and making more sexually suggestive music instead of conservative clean music like b4 so its supposed to be like she just moved onto the next image unfazed cause shes a liar its such a cringe subplot and it happens in the span of like 15 mins and is never mentioned again and very clearly is just supposed to be a rebuttal to accusations and scandals sooo fkn embarrassing especially given the fact hes been trying to get this movie made his whole life LOL the two (yes 2) other women in the movie are also treated super sexistly like the main characters love interest has no personality aside from always standing behind her mans artistic vision and passion and "completing" him then the aubrey plaza character is just supposed to be the sexy woman who sleeps with any1 for power like coppola def most sexist guy alive ever the fact he made that movie dedicated it to his wife at the end yup this man is going to hell. Probably the hardest movie to talk abt cause its not u kno deserving of praise the only frame of reference is camp rly like in that same ballpark not so bad its good but just a very wtf type of movie. Im also scared cause shia labeouf was in this doing a type of scary dennis hopper character (coppola even saying working with him reminded him of hopper) and obv this film flopped and is not gonna make any1 famous since even the acting was p bad from every1 or just v disconnected and unrelatable on a human level but watching this has me worried that labeouf is gonna thrive with piece of shit directors by using the dennis hopper/klaus kinski method of having ppl praise ur "energy" when its just that u only take roles where u play sadistic fucks cause ur a sadistic abusive fuck so ppl get convinced ur a great actor when ur not even acting.

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Hello again anon 🐯

Yeah, this bullshitshow has been anything but private

I don't think this man has any comprehension of the damage he has done to his image

As it stands he currently has no audience, no fandom, very little to motivate anyone to follow him around regardless of whatever project he has going

His fans are losing interest?

I started watching the video for the award and lost interest so I have no idea what's been said and I have zero interest in finding out, but then I'm not a Chris Evans fan either, I just stumbled across them after having a weird prophetic dream and following the algorithmic narratives

For the most part, they're pretty awesome people. I didn't like seeing them treated the way they have been so I took what action I could. I'm pretty picky about people and they're the only reason I've stuck around this long

He needs a better team?

He doesn't just need a new team, he needs a new name, a new house, a new life; the man needs to disappear out of the pure embarrassment he's caused himself and all of those around him

And he's badly embarrassed his fans by proxy for having supported someone with no fucking spine willing to betray even the lies he used to help con them with

(Sorry to be harsh, I haven't had dinner yet and it has been a long day at work)

Is he being honest with himself meaning it wouldn't end up like this?

I do truly wonder if he understands that he has also bought into his own image. Does he think that any part of the persona hes had curated over the years actually reflects who he is?

Christopher, you are nothing like any of the characters you've played and each piece of them that's been published in place of your actual personality traits in articles is simply another lie to yourself

Being private doesn't mean being ashamed?

If hes not he should be. Ashamed. Ashamed. Ashamed.

It ties into the lies he's told himself. Honey blocking people is not going to make them stop talking about you

If you are genuinely so scared that telling the truth about whats gone on then maybe you shouldn't have been doing it to begin with

Christopher if this is truly your choice, to fuck around with 20 somethings at your fucking age then yes you should be ashamed because you are a Hollywood cliche and still emotionally a 15 year old boy, basically a rich pervert and theres no amount of PR cleaning that's going to get you out of that after so badly knocking down the fan support system holding you up and paying your bills

Your team aren't the only ones who have been coasting

It's odd a little for me. I tend to be optimistic by nature and not the "hyper-critical debunking character" I've played so much on my blog so there is that genuine little part of me that despite not being a fan I really do want a positive outcome for him

But let me be clear about this: it's not that I'm hoping for it for him, I'm hoping for it for his fans

When you are strangers on the internet it can be a lot easier to let things out to people when you have a safe place to do it from behind an internet profile. Like I've said before I've talked to thousands of his fans by now and the number of them that were distressed, that needed a safe place to vent is extensive

I may not be a mean person IRL, (I get called bubbly.....a lot lol) but I'm fairly sure after spending so much time consoling so many of them I could summon genuine enough rage to scare him straight, or at the very least some common fucking sense

These days I work in....well......let's generalise and say Healthcare; it's a very people focused job where taking into consideration that you have no idea what's going on in the rest of their life and how that affects their experience when they are in the establishment, the ability to empathise with so many people every day is really quite a natural thing for me despite my general introversion

But there are some things you have to learn to be firm on and is one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn to do my job and help make the environment a better place

I have to say I don't think this man has ever learned how to establish boundaries with literally anyone, no wonder I got the impression he needed a strong woman to tell him what to do

(He really does need a replacement Lisa that tells him what to do, but also one that's actually happy to actually do it no woman should ever let a man put their emotional labour on them)

I've done my best to fuck up their narrative bullshitshow as much as possible as revenge for fucking with the fandom friends I had and lost because of what they did

Indeed anon, good luck Chris. If you never learn to stand your ground in a meaningful way nothing will ever change

Do something different

[sburbian-sage]

[transmission beginning]

Hello? Is anyone getting this?

Im broadcasting from im attempting to reach my frie , they played some sort of game and hav

Piece of shit machine! *THUD* cmon fucking broadca

Fuck, no no no no! Cmon stabilize please!

Yes! Fuck yes! Cmon baby you can do it!

Alright are we stable? FUCK YEA!

Im broadcasting from my bunker in eastern florida, i believe im now partially underwater, i was supposed to receive some sort of game disk which i now believe may have been responsible for the apocalypse outside my shelter

I managed to retrieve said disk but i am unable to connect properly

Whatever this thing is its huge and programmed almost exclusively in a language i have never seen before

Theres no way a disk can hold as much data as this can so i can only assume that something far above my knowledge level is going on

From what i can tell this was made by fucking skaia-net so i stole shit from one of their local shops before the ground above me collapsed to wire in and hopefully inject data into the disk while it runs but the power consumption is absurd so i cant do it for long

Ever since the exit tunnel collapsed I've been unable to retrieve more resources so I'm running on an extremely limited time frame here

The disk is littered with event flags relating to their names so the current plan is to hardwire an exit back to me from... Wherever they are in this thi

Shit im losing stabil *thud* cmon you piece of shit! fuck im not d no no no NO! CMON! *THUD THUD THUD*

List wherev r you are!

Im com ng for yo

I promi

[transmission complete]

[no response detected]

[data stored]

[repeating transmission]

[broadcast no.432⁶]

[transmission beginning]

Hello? Is anyone getting this?

I hope whoever this was managed to find out what happened to their friends. Or if I'm willing to be a little unrealistic, discovered their own name in the event flags and eventually entered their own version of the game. If it wasn't there already, it was never going to happen.

I also wonder who sent this to me. A lot of improbable stuff happens, people accessing things they should not. Kind of like what I'm doing. But the Replayernet is invite-only. If you don't have the dongle, you don't get in. There are tons of replayers out there without their dongle, drifting in the wind essentially. So either someone found this wayward message and decided to forward it to me for... Some reason. Or I'm to believe that someone on Earth tried to send a message that somehow accessed Pitsblogs and landed in my account personally.

On the improbable chance that this is being done for some greater purpose and it's not a gag, and in the impossibility that this message gets received by its original sender, ignore everything above this paragraph. Read this if you want to survive...

Find a computer and put both the Server, and Client discs in. The Server disc lets you mess with another player's house and deploy items critical to not dying in the apocalypse. The Client disc lets someone do the same to you.

Keep a cool head. Don't act hastily, don't forget to put something inside the flashing ball of light that will appear later, and don't forget that this is a team game.

Try to establish communication channels with your other players. Whatever the kids are using, they'll probably be using that.

Be yourself and have fun. You've displayed a level of canniness which indicates high probability of success.

I could be embarrassing myself by giving critical advice to a dead man or some sort of spoof. Like I'm doing the equivalent of reading a creepypasta and I go into the comments section to make impassioned pleas towards the characters getting killed by The Rake or something. But better safe than sorry. Very strange stuff. If this is some prank, or perhaps some replayernet ARG, I find it to be very tasteless.

[p0th]

do you like hero factory???

ahhh no i've never watched it or owned any of the sets!!! I just have a friend who's SUPER into Hero Factory & Bionicle & Lego in general so i get all of my info from them; like, theyre able to instantly recognize what piece a set is from most of the time its kinda scary. One time we were looking at builds & I thought a piece was from Ninjago, but I was instantly corrected cause it was hero factory (obviously!!! /s). Other than that single piece I don't really know much about it other than it being kinda like bioncle.

my dreams were CRUSHED. NEVER try and identity a lego piece in the presence of a lego master. you WILL embarrass yourself!!!! i think about this moment so often like how was i so foolish!!!!!!! and the worst part was, was that i was SO CONFIDENT ABOUT MY ANSWER!!!!! AND I WAS WRONG!! WHAT THE FUCK IS A HERO FACTORY!!! sigh....

I know SLIGHTLY more about bionicle but my info is rlly cloudy cause I only get it from my friend & i absorb maybe 5% of it. I know that theres like uhh bad guys that turn into balls and also some that have bugs in their brains and like a island thats a bioncle?? or something?? not sure. Also a blue girl one that was VERY curvy in some adaptation. Also also something about masks being harder to fling off during certain waves?? i have no idea how it came into discussion man. and cannot forget about the lawsuit <3

Coming from someone who likes gundams, I do get the appeal, but honestly they're not for me i dont think. I love media made for the young boy demographic but its too boyish for me yknow? and also I cannot tell the difference between bioncles & hero factory even though ive had it explained to me a billion times!!!! I was for sure a Ninjago kid growing up and avoided pretty much any other lego property and still do LOL. I remember thinking bioncles were ugly as hell until my friend kept talking about them and they kinda grew on me. i think if i watched it i might like it but like. im not gonna watch it unless some1 makes me yknow??

[loversj0y]

Hii, it's me again!

Ok remember a while back I requested night beach with Wilbur?

Doing Night beach again tonight, so can I get some night beach with Tommy?

gosh a night beach with tommy would be so much fun, i dont really write romantically for tommy (i love him but hes too little brother coded to me personally bc he reminds me of my school little brother i had in high school) but as for some platonic stuff

i think about the sleepover vlog with ranboo a lot (mostly because im a big car seat headrest fan, and it irks the hell out of me that i cant find the shirt ranboo wears in the end of the vid) (also mostly bc its such a big comfort to me) but going off his behavior in that

tommy is such a joy man, all big laughs and bits. he has his quieter moments too, of course, but he doesn't prefer them to the sound of yours and his laughter.

he loves throwing pebbles, especially (kindly) at you, and definitely doesnt start a pebble war that ends in him complaining that you hit his face and he might bruise and "how will he impress molly now"

he would also find the weirdest looking pebble and say it reminds him of you. because he's a little shit.

he'd probably make up stories about the things you find that people had left behind. every bottle cap has a story, after all. and he is delighted in the fact that he gets to make them up. if theres put out cigarettes and beer caps, he's talking about edgy fucks like wilbur. if theres crisp bags and soda caps, he's talking about how it's middle schoolers going on a date, but the date didn't end well, so one of them left the remnants because they're crying

(he'd also probably pick up this trash. at least id very much fucking hope so -someone who lives at a beach and gets annoyed seeing even the Tiniest piece of plastic there)

the quiet moments arent necessarily serious moments, either. there's no big admissions, no sharing of childhood regrets. maybe secrets though. the quiet comes in the form of hushed chats about hope, the future, and the good things you've learned to become thankful for. he's always about focusing on the brighter side of the past, citing memories about his friends in class rather than the bullies that tried to torment him.

he'd also try to embarrass the fuck out of you if he saw someone walk past. because. he's a little shit (affectionate).

[mlmneuvifuri]

hello ^^ huge neuvifuri fan here who has been shipping them since leaks came out tbh, here to infodump why i, personally, enjoy them as much as i do :3

(heed this warning; i do headcanon furina/focalors as a trans man so if you see me use he/him pronouns that is why, be not confused, jus my personal thing)

first off as soon as the very first fontaine trailer was released we see them together in the end shot! that small short scene alone sets up an amazing dynamic, even platonically. "Ugh boring!" "please refrain from levity in the court" sets us up with some assumptions already, that these two characters will have some interesting interactions, that these two know each other, and that they work together in some form or capacity, also furi is burning a piece of paper, this never got explained but god i loved it anyways

after that we play through the archon quest, we meet furina first as dramatic and loud as he was acting as he did, and neuvi second, a polite lurker in the shadows, confirming part of what we saw in the first fontaine trailer, further along this same quest we see them interact for the first time in the court; neuvi predicts furina is about to walks off and calls him out on it, confirming another part of the trailer; that they know each other /well/

and even further down the line we find out neuvi is the hydro dragon sovreign, meaning hes been around for possibly however long furina has, if not longer, making him ( in my opinion) hard to ship with anyone who isnt an archon and thats not because of age or anything its mostly like, Vibes, he has the old man vibe who doesnt understand memes and would call them "me-me"s or something, akin to zhongli, but not the point-- the point is neuvi is dragon, ageless, furina is archon, somewhat ageless as well, even after act V

when the traveler gets to go to the fortress of meropide as the ploy Tee Ehm, neuvi purposefully uses furinas cake, and maybe furina let him, who knows but the fact that he was comfortable enough to not get yelled at by furina for eating or giving away his treats is inexplicably soulmate-behavior to me

which brings me to my next point; focalors, focalors in the quest as we see him is immediately like "hello ^w^ im going to die now have your dragon powers back thank you neuvi" neuvi, having lived alongside and closely at that (remember that one scene furina was almost In His lap? that proves this in my view), with furi, just witnesses his other half Dissolve in front of his eyes, it was at that moment he realised he'd have a much darker life without furina, hence his extreame emotion with the following cutscene, hence the heavy heavy rain

in my opinion, and this part is all theory here, focalors made furina as human as he /could/ this does not mean furi no longer has any divinity at all because well, ,, if an archon makes a human clone of themselves can they really be rid of all divinity within that human? i think not, i think furina has always has like .5% divinity in him at all times, this is what keeps him alive this is his "curse" focalors gave him, this is why he is the only fontainian diver who sparkles when he jumps out of the water

furthermore, i think neuvi knew this and was genuinely confused at furina's court trial, he didnt know about focalors' deception, but he knew furina, very well, he knows furina couldnt be human because of how long hes lived but he knew furina was a little too frail as an archon, he's always seen through furina's theatrics, even at the start (i do not remember exactly where it was but that one scene where he tells the traveler furina is up in the vip seats in the courthouse and will get embarrassed if you ignore him for too long)

jumping a little ahead to the present fontaine now; Furina's Vision. what is the deal with furina's vision? why did he get a vision? why does his vision casing have teeth? fangs? on it?? and if theres no fontainian hydro divinity, no gnosis no connection to celestia well who gave him this vision in the first place?

Neuvillette.

the dragon power, the power hidden within every single archon gnoses, was given back to the hydro dragon, cutting off all hydro ties to celestia, dragon power thieves, focalors was anti-celestia, neuvi is anti-celestia, the whole of fontaine hates celestia ( a little on accident ) because of the prophecy in the first place !

Neuvillette, finally having whats rightfully his, decided to give his first and only vision (so far) to /furina/ of all people in teyvat, he was watching furina's play, he was noticing furina's own broken promise, he was loving every thing about furina in that moment and that is why he gave furi a vision

i am very normal about them :>

Neuvifuri nation I forgot to tell y'all that I did Furina's SQ with the intent of seeing what all the Neuvifuri hubbub was about, and I regret to inform you all that I still don't get it. 😔 I tried. In my head they feel more like two halves of the same person to me than anything else. They don't feel like friends, they don't feel familial, and they don't feel romantic. They're a secret fourth thing (darn secret nth thing syndrome >:/).

I actually genuinely wanna understand because in fanart and stuff it's such a pretty pairing and I wish I got it like y'all did but I just don't see it.

Anyway, what about it is appealing to y'all? I don't mean this sarcastically. I mean it genuinely. Tell me all about it! Infodump as much as you want! I'm a Neuvia fan, but I love analyzing character interactions and behaviors and I'd really enjoy discussing this, so feel free!

[strawbxrryneptune]

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

You're the head cheerleader at UA.

We're gonna say its UA university, so like class 4-A.

Bakugou is your boyfriend

He plays on the football team 😫

But he got suspended for a little because he saw Deku (yes I'm adding Deku in this, @ me why dont you)

Deku plays on the rival team, he switched schools cause he felt like he wasnt reaching his full potential.

Bakugou basically broke Deku's mf leg, it's a surprise he wasnt kicked off the team, but the he's the star player.

The only reason the UA football team is even in the nationals is cause of Bakugou.

Anyway, Kiri and Sero were roasting the absolute shit outta him for getting suspended.

"PLEASE- HE COULDN'T EVEN KEEP THE BEST SPOT ON THE TEAM KEKEKEK"

*LMAO* "DAMN BAKUBRO, YOU GOT FLAMED"

Bakugou was ready to blast all their asses to the moon and back, until Denki said that he probably couldnt even keep a spot on the cheer squad, it's even more brutal than football and the outfits are too risque.

It went dead silent when poor bby said that, cause everyone knew not to challenge Bakugou.

He immediately stood up from his spot on the couch in the study hall, marching over to Denki and grabbing him by the collar.

"More brutal than football? Hah, you're out of your goddamn mind, Sparky. I can do that shit anyday, even in that girly ass skirt."

Denki smirked

"Wanna bet?"

And that's how he found himself wearing a custom made UA cheer uniform, face red in embarrassment but still determined to not chicken out. If he got through this, he'd get $50 from everyone in the squad except for Mina

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

When Bakugou had come to you, red in the face and hands shaking in embarrassment, asking for a cheer uniform, you almost passed out in shock.

The Katsuki Bakugou, star Football player, top of his class in strength and brains, wanted to cheer? Nah, you were buggin. He wouldn't tell you why, only a harsh, "You gonna give me the uniform or not?" Before giving you a quick and kind of violent kiss on the cheek, scampering off with the bright orange fabric in his hands.

Leading up to the big game for the finals, he would hang around during practice and watch you command the girls, having them jump and twist into complicated positions. You spot him peeping and called him over, teasingly asking him if he could do a cartwheel, not expecting him to actually do one. He has almost perfect form, a little wobbly on the drop down but beautiful nonetheless. You pursed your lips, looking him up and down before clapping your hands loudly, causing him to jump.

"Change of plans, ladies! We now have a new member joining the team, at least for the game next week. I'll need you to be understanding and patient in teaching him the routine, and no making fun!!"

The other girls nod understandingly, surrounding him despite his yells and protests.

You smirk to yourself.

This is gonna be so much fun.

♡♡

A week passes, and you're in the changing room with the girls, handing out their uniforms. You get to the bottom of the bin, and realize theres a pantsuit. You widen your eyes in shock. If the pantsuit is in there, than that means-

"Y/N IM GOING TO KILL YOU"

Shit.

You jog out of the locker rooms, looking around until you see a shaking head of ash blonde hair. You make your way over to him, stifling a laugh when you see him wearing large sweats, the outline of the orange skirt peeking out. He doesnt have a sweatshirt on, so you're blessed with the sight of his pecs and abs bulging out, sweat already dripping down his body due to the heat of the stadium and the embarrassment racking his body.

"I'm so sorry, Katsu. I didnt realize I gave you the girl version of the uniform."

He scoffs, subconsciously reaching up to tug at the crop top.

"Just get me the damn boy version, you shitty-"

"ALRIIIGHT EVERYONE, ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE!!"

You both jump at the sound of the announcers voice, the crowd roaring back.

"WELL THEN GET READY, FOLKS. WE HAVE A WONDERFUL PREFORMANCE FROM THE UA CHEER SQAUD. GIVE EM A HAND."

You look at Bakugou in apology, before rushing the girls out, gesturing for him to hurry as you run out onto the field, the UA side cheering loudly while the rival team boos. Bakugou let's out a huff, shoving his sweats down and running out with you, not looking up. The minute the crowd sees him running with you, the stadium fills with laughter and wolf whistles, some of his teammates fanning themselves in mockery. He growls at them, intimidating but not scary due to the bright orange crop top and skirt he's donning.

The music starts and everyone gets into formation, Bakugou at the far right and you at the left. You start to do your routine, shaking your hips and yelling along to the music, moving around and doing flips. You form a pyramid, Bakugou on the base and you somewhat in the middle. The top girl flips off, does a twirl in the sir and lands in front of you, shouting the UA cheer before you all follow suit, cheering on your team while shimmying around. You turn to see how Bakugou is doing during the end, and the sight that greets you is heaven;

He's heaving for hair, sweat slicking down his hair and dripping down his abs, the skirt flowing and moving along with his thick thigh, which tremble from exertion. He's panting hard, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to nail a pose, wobbling slightly. You gulp hard, shaking your head to clear the thoughts starting to surface, thoughts of fucking him in that uniform, sucking his cock from under the skirt, riding him in your uniform, lifting the hem to see where you're connected. Ripping the crop top to see his puffy nipples, making him moan and tremble underneath you from the pleasure, calling him a cute little slut for wearing that little piece of fabric.

You break from your thought when the music cuts out, roars and screams deafening, even the opposing team cheering for you and the beefy man in the skirt.

You all bow and trot off the center felikd, making your way to the benches you drink water before the team starts playing. Bakugou makes his way over to you, gulping down water from his bottle. Some of it spills out his mouth, rolling down his throat, scattering when his Adam's apple bobs. It makes a trail into the swell of his pecs, disappearing. You look up his body slowly, face heating in embarrassment when you meet his eyes, a cocky smirk on his face when he realizes you were ogling him.

"Ya see sumthin' you want, Baby?"

You grit your teeth at him, grabbing his collar and dragging him off into the space between the bleachers.

He sputters at you when you reach under his skirt and grab the barely concealed bugle there, smirking up at him.

"See sumthin you want, Baby?"

You taunt, rubbing him through the fabric of his boxers.

He groans from above you, muttering out a breathy "Its from adrenaline-"

Before pushing his lips against yours, sucking your lip into his mouth while his hips stutter against your hands. You pull away, grinning when you see him chase your lips.

"Are you sure it's from adrenaline, or is it cause you were prancin around out there like some pretty little whore, hm?"

Bakugou clenches his eyes shut, blushing hard and growling low in his throat.

"Shut the fuck up. I didnt do it for that-"

"Well you still did it, and you looked so good, too, 'Suki. Wanted to suck your cock the whole time."

He whimpers at that, hips moving forward to push against your hand more, pre leaking out and making his boxers sticky against your palm.

"Mm, you like that? Like me praising you? Calling you a good boy and telling you how much I wanted your fat cock shoved down my throat? "

His head falls against your shoulder, moaning into the side of your neck as his balls tighten, cum soaking his boxers and dripping out onto your hand. You lick up his neck, making him shudder.

"There you go, pretty boy."

♡♡

When the game is over, he stomps over to the squad, snatching their money aggressively before making him way back to you, scowling when you land a harsh smack against his ass.

"Is it just me, or is Bakugou glowing?"

♡♡♡

@hanji-is-life your Bakugou in a skirt inspired me to write this Bakugou in a skirt.

Masterlist

[samadiw]

Knickers - Part 03 - Yellow Knickers 💛

.

Yellow?

Fucking yellow?

She didnt have yellow knickers, she didnt have yellow anything and it wasnt like she could stroll into Hogsmeade and buy a pair.

Hermione pulls out her drawer of knickers, for a girl who didnt get it on much, she had a drawer full of colourful undies, one must always feel good in what covers your twat.

She gingerly picks up a scanty almost see through black pair of knickers, well, they would have to do.

Placing the pair on the bed, she reaches for her wand and waves it over the undergarment, the colour instantly changes from black to dark yellow.

Hermione grins, it looks better than she expected.

H : "Not bad..."

She flops down on the bed and thinks of Malfoy's cock for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

The fucker had no shame in just whipping it out in front of her, his crass boldness turned her on, he didn't care to tip toe around her as if she would shatter into a million pieces.

Her toes curl with wanting, he would widen her nicely, she had always been told she was tight.

Damn that bloody Malfoy cock.

*******

T : "The fuck man."

B : "Don't you get sick of losing?"

T : "You're cheating, I know it."

B : "Its wizards chess, you just suck."

T : "I have to meet Luna but once I'm back, I want a bloody rematch."

B : "Let's make it interesting, care to place a bet?"

T : "10 Galleons?"

B : "My house elf makes 10 times that, you bloody cheapskate."

T : "Later."

B : "Use protection, we don't want crummy chess players being added to the population."

T : "Fuck you, Zabini."

Draco walks in towelling his hair

B : "Ah, want to grab a butter beer?"

D : "Sure, mate."

Throws a bottle at Draco and he catches it expertly.

D : "So, whats the name of the new broad?"

B : "Patil..."

D : "Nice."

B : "Is Weasley still banging Granger?"

D : "Haven't a clue."

B : "She's looking rather fine this year."

Draco tightens his hold on the bottle and takes a long swig.

Blaise didnt know the half of it.

The next morning

T : "Fuck, are you ready to leave?"

D : "Yeah, I've got some, unm...work to do."

What he wanted to do was claim his seat in the Great Hall before someone else did.

B : "Well, I'm ready, I'll come with you, Theo, do hurry up bitch."

T : "Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying."

They walk into the Great Hall and find it half full.

A bunch of 3rd years are sitting in Draco's usual place.

The blonde towers over the younger students and hisses darkly.

D : "Move, now!"

The adolescent boys trip over themselves in their haste to get up.

"Yes, Mr Malfoy, sir."

"Right away."

"So sorry."

Blaise and Draco slide into the seat.

B : "I think the tall one wet his pants."

D : "Respect, Blaise, must be taught when young."

B : "Theres a fine line between respect and bullying."

D : "Potato, potahto."

B : "Why the fuck do you keep looking at the entrance?"

D : "For Nott, ofcourse."

Blaise raises a brow and grins.

B : "Sure you are..."

Hermione links her arm through Ron's and he whispers a funny joke into her ear, she throws her head back in laughter.

From across the hall she can feel steely grey eyes watching her every movement.

She locks eyes with the ice blonde and bites her lip.

Settling down in her usual spot, Hermione looks at Draco through hooded eyes and challenges him.

Draco smirks, fucking showtime.

He's about to drop something when a voice cuts into his train of thought.

PS : "Mr Malfoy."

Fuck..

D : "Yes, Professor Slughorn?"

PS : "Come with me, boy, I need your rather unique potion making skills."

Come on, no, no...

D : "Now?"

Slughorn raises a brow.

PS : "Yes, now..."

Draco glances at Hermione desperately.

Did the old codger have to fuck up his morning?

Draco weakly protests

D : "But sir, I'm um..hungry."

Hungry for Grangers cunt.

PS : "Now! Before I start deducting points off Slytherin."

The bloody bastard.

Draco gets to his feet

D : "Fine."

Hermione looks on in disappointment, brings her legs together and watches Malfoy trail after Slughorn miserably.

The fuming Slytherin throws a look of annoyance her way before exiting the hall after the potions master.

Draco misses his first two lessons because of Slughorn's potions emergency, he is still at it when his year piles into the classroom.

He wipes his brow and looks up, Hermione grins and pats the seat next to her suggestively.

It wouldn't do to openly sit next to the Gryffindor without a bunch of questions being asked.

Draco coughs to distract everyone else and shakes his head, Hermione frowns, rolls her eyes and pulls out her books.

PS : "Good job, Mr Malfoy."

Draco replies in frustration.

D : "Yeah, no problem, Professor."

He gathers this things and sits next to Theo.

The class drones on and by the end of it Draco has dozed off more than once.

Theo nudges him and hisses.

T : "For fuck sake, get up."

The class ends and the exhausted students leave the dungeons and make their way to lunch before the next round of classes start.

Hermione studiously avoids Draco, she wouldn't go to him, let him come to her.

Refusing to sit with her, who the bloody hell did he think he was?

She steps into the abandoned girls bathroom to fix her hair and wash the tiredness off her face.

It takes but a second.

The door opens, closes with a bang and a heavy firm body presses up against her back.

Shocked at first, Hermione reaches for her wand but she looks up to see Draco grinning smugly at her.

She turns around and shoves him

H : "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

D : "Isn't it obvious?"

H : "This is the girls lavatory."

D : "I'm aware."

H : "Get away from me, you pervert."

D : "I haven't seen your knickers today, Granger."

H : "And you're not going to see them now."

D : "Oh, I beg to differ."

He places firm hands on her waist, lifts her and settles her on the counter.

Hermione lashes out

H : "Have you lost your damn mind?"

Draco winks.

D : "Possibly."

Hermione tries to hop down.

H : "I'm not playing this bloody game."

Draco holds her in place, his long fingers brush gently along her skin and edge upwards.

He pushes up the school skirt so it bunches around her waist and stares at the bright yellow undie hugging her pussy lips, outlining every dip and curve.

Draco swallows hard, up close she looks absolutely breathtaking.

H : "There, you saw them, are you satisfied?"

D : "Immensely, yellow might be my new favourite colour."

H : "Very funny, now let me go."

D : "Not so fast, pet."

He runs a long finger down her material covered slit.

Hermione gasps and a involuntary moan escapes her full lips.

She comes back to her senses and scolds.

H : "Stop it, anyone could walk in."

Draco rolls his eye, waves his wand and distinctive click echoes through the quiet bathroom.

He grins mischievously.

D : "Problem solved."

He continues to rub enticing circles around the flesh of her inner thighs.

D : "I wonder if you taste as good as you look."

H : "You wouldn't..."

D : "Oh, I would and you will love it."

He peels down her panties, leaving a trail of fire where his fingers touch her skin.

Draco puts Hermione smooth legs over his shoulders and bends to give her exposed cunt a quick lick.

Hermione gasps as he delves inside her with the tip of his tongue.

He gives her clit a quick flick and proceeds to eat her out generously.

Holy fuck, was Malfoy licking her cunt?

Oh, so good, so bloody good.

D : "You taste divine, let's see what makes you come."

Hermione's breathing elevates, she surrenders to the blonde licking her to glory.

The noises he makes as he moves his tongue echo in her head and fuel her pending release.

H : "Malfoy...."

D : "Wet, so fucking wet."

They have 4 minutes and 26 seconds before their next class.

Draco figures he needs 3 minutes tops to fuck her with his talented tongue and feel her orgasm on it.

D : "You taste fucking amazing."

He parts her pussy lips with his tongue again and begins to lap at her eager wetness.

Moving slowly, he uses the tip of his tongue to circle her ever receptive bud.

His tongue slips and he's rewarded with a loud moan.

Ah, so that's the spot.

Draco relentlessly tongues Hermione till she squirms.

He wants to look at her, keeping up his ministrations he braved a look at the witch whispering his name.

She was shuddering above him, her body wracked in pleasure.

Head thrown back, wild curls around her face, fuck...she looked stunning.

Her eyes closed, thighs spread wide and hands massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples.

This was a sight he could get used to.

H : "There, oh fuck...don't stop..."

H : "Oh...mm...I'm going to come."

Music to his ears, he takes her swollen bud between his lips and sucks hard.

D : "Let go, baby."

Hermione lets out a cry, grabs a fistful of Draco's hair and comes crashing down around him.

Only after she rode her high and stilled did he wipe her dripping juices off his chin and get to his feet.

H : "Well, that was..."

She hopes off the counter and attempts to stand on wobbly legs.

Draco licks his cum stained lips and grins.

D : "Something else."

H : Yes, something else.

Draco muses .

D: "And we havent even kissed yet."

Post orgasm bliss aside, Hermione asks.

H : "Why didn't you sit next to me? Do you still think me dirty?"

Dirty, was the woman mad? She fucking came in his mouth and he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Draco pulls Hermione close and kisses her.

The kiss is no gentle exchange between lovers, its hard, fast and demanding

He pries her stubborn lips open with his tongue and slips it in to seek the inner sweetness, they grab onto each other fighting for dominance, until, she breaks free and surfaces for air.

Draco nibbles on the heated flesh of her neck and whispers.

D : "That's your cum you taste on my tongue, do you honestly believe your blood status means fuck all to me?"

He places a tender kiss to her lips

D : Actually, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment of mingling with an ex Death Eater.

Hermione shoves him playfully.

H : "Sod it, sit with me tomorrow."

D : "You dig your own grave, Granger."

A distinctive tent decorated Draco's trousers, he cups the bulge and adjusts his painfully hard erection.

H : "Oh, you're still hard, let me..."

D : "We don't have time."

Hermione's face falls in disappointment and Draco smirks.

D : "Don't worry about it, you can make up for it tomorrow."

Draco picks up the discarded yellow knickers and pockets them.

D : "I'm keeping these by the way."

H : "You cant be serious?"

D : "I rather enjoy the thought of you walking about the castle knickerless."

H : "You fucking smug prat."

D : "Blue is my favourite colour, Granger."

Draco lifts the spell and walks out.

Funny, she would've bet her left tit that it was black.

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[jaywhere]

im about to drop so much unnecessary information but i think i need to like write this down and get it out of my system bc i dont think ive ever actually like put it on paper all in one place but

i went to graduate school in like 2019 i already knew a bunch of the profs in the program and id promised myself that if i got into this program specifically i would bite the bullet and transition bc it was going to be the cheapest option so id actually have the money and i would have at least some social support bc id be close to home and like. yadda yadda transitioning is bad grad school is toxic you end up spending like 8-12 hours a day with 30 random high achieving people and its Bad, trans stuff was not the only thing that everyone was bad about.

i have been trying very hard recently to find like joy in being a man and loving myself and all that extremely gay shit but back then i was this like tightly wound ball of anxiety and insecurity and transitioning in that environment while not knowing a single other trans person irl was kind of unhinged of me and i dont mean to sound like an asshole but i did graduate with a 4.0 and im good at my fucking job now despite all that shit and i am extremely brave and awesome for that. and i could spend a lot of time talking about how all of that fucking psychologically fucked me up but i am here today to talk about one specific person who at the time i made a lot of excuses for but looking back on it im. i just need to write it out lmfao.

so i went to grad school not for fun academic reasons but bc my current profession is like one of those things where u gotta have a special license and training and all that jazz, not gonna doxx myself but u get it. one of the pieces of that is u have to get a certain number (like Many Hundreds) of direct hours practicing how to do this job, usually on site at the university for the first year and then externally as a graduate intern at some kind of real world job site. some programs make you find your own internships but mine was one where we were directly assigned -- a thing my anxious undiagnosed adhd ass was specifically looking for lol -- and there was one lady who was in charge of finding those placements and picking out which student goes where. she also had minimal teaching responsibilities where we had a 1-hour long lecture with her once a week and it was extremely pointless everything else im about to say aside this lady was either sleep deprived all the time or really just not very smart

so you know me, baby trans, publicly transitioning in this toxic environment, constant microaggressions from my peers -- dear lord one time this lady in her 40s with like kids who used to be in the military made me sit with her in grad work room and explain to her what rights exactly i think i dont have as a trans person a lady from the fucking MILITARY who was enlisted in the fucking DONT ASK DONT TELL ERA and then i just had to move on and sit there for like three hours studying -- christ!!! anyways it was not great but this particular professor would literally constantly misgender me in her class, like to the fucking point where i had other students point it out like "why does she do that like youre not even raising your hand" and it became this whole thing where i was like. fuck do i need to sit in the back and even though my adhd ass really needs to be in the front do i need to just start loudly interrupting her so she feels as embarrassed as i do or am i gonna get in trouble for that can i ask other students to help me out JOKES ON YOU i tried that and it did not fucking work for like 8 different reasons

so i eventually just started trying to interrupt her and tbh it made her do it more frequently and draw even more attention to myself and i honestly would have just started skipping the class if it wouldnt have flunked me and you know how theres that whole thing they do in academia (other minority postbach homies will understand) where theyre like "well you say this thing is due to [minority status] but you didnt clearly communicate to us your needs why are you only telling us now" and its like i dont fucking know what about any of this situation (massive power difference between me and a prof, ability of prof to literally end my career before it starts, ability to make my life so miserable i get depressed and completely stop functioning only to say im not "cut out" for your highly selective program) makes academics think anybody is gonna feel okay communicating openly and honestly with them. so i never fucking complained like a chump just jay out here living in literal hell all the time always

and then she gives us these. god awful fucking case study type presentations. they are based on real people, one of them is trans. i wasnt assigned to the group that had that case but i got this awful feeling about it so i read through it and the whole thing was so fucking awful, like calling this poor trans woman's name a pseudonym bc its not her birth name, giving really inappropriate details about like gential surgeries which were really not relevant, super outdated language like we're just throwing the word transsexual around and defining "passing" wrong, i'm pretty sure misgendering this poor lady just to be like "well JUST to be CLEAR she (he) is really a MAN"

and like setting aside how awful that made me feel because, you know. looking back on it that's what literally everyone around me was thinking about me all thrle time. i had this whole conversation with myself where i was like. i have not complained i dont want to rock the boat i have approached literally every interaction ive had here trying to be a fucking model minority and it is straight up killing me a little. but i cannot let my classmates think this is an acceptable way to talk about trans people. shit that happens to me is my choice, shit that impacts others is not.

so i made an office hours appt with this lady. there was no fucking way to casually talk to her so it was like formal appt a week in advance felt like i was gonna throw up for days and i walk in psyching myself up to be so nice and helpful and understanding i just want to learn this shit and get my fucking degree. i explain so nicely like hey this maybe isnt the best. i wouldnt feel good if someone talked about me this way. i know it must be hard to find resources about trans people. we're so niche. id be happy to help you find another resource. we could maybe even salvage this one, or we could use it as-is and also talk about why all these things are bad. i dont want to take away everyones opportunity to learn about trans people, its so valuable and important, i just want it to he good info. i was so fucking -- i do not think i could have behaved better

and anyways here are some things this lady said to me during this meeting: oh yeah i thought when you made this appt it might be about this. she misgendered me like three fucking times -- how the hell do you even do that in a 1-1 conversation??? -- and acted like she didnt notice every. fucking. time. she did it. lady had the gall to like brag??? complain???? to me about how she ignores the emails she gets from turning point usa like WOW THAT MUST BE SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU...ignoring emails...dear god, the moxie! (foreshadowing) and then admits that she knew the resource might have been shitty when she assigned it but felt assured that i would come to her and let her know if it was bad. which to this day makes me so fucking angry i spent so many hours freaking out about that meeting NOT FUCKING STUDYING -- and the whole fucking program was so vocal about racial/ethnic diversity and disability she would have immediately realized how inappropriate that sentiment is if it had been about NEARLY ANY OTHER MINORITY GROUP!!! and then she fucking is like "well ill just scrap it and we wont talk about trans people at all" and i kept pushing like hey no, hey no, please dont do that, dont let all these people graduate without having to have this conversation just once. and she was like eh and i OFFERRED to find someone to try and come give a fucking training (that didnt involve a fucking privledge walk and extensive discussion of the word womyn god i hate universities so much!!!!!!) and she was like uhh maybe and i immediately fucking went and found some folks to do it ANYWAYS bc i was struggling so much

and then covid hit like two weeks later and none of that mattered anyways!

i then lost all of my opportunities to get hours on campus (while other folks were able to continue virtually). it was entirely random but it was extremely shitty considering id gotten fewer hours in the fall bc the program had just relocated and there were all of these resource issues. i was meant to be included in an intensive project over the summer where i'd get a ton of hours because of the focus area i'd chosen, but i ended up getting less than half the hours that had been projected bc we had to do it virtually. so i ended out my first year of grad school with something like 85 hours out of 400. i wasnt in close contact with all my classmates but as far as i could tell i was definitely on the lower end in my cohort.

the semester starts in like august and this lady does not give me an internship placement until late october. i am literally the last person to be placed along with my classmate who shared the internship site with me.

in addition, the location and setting in which i am placed. i live in a major city in texas -- not awesome but i do not feel actively unsafe out in the world and there are visibly trans people Around. she assigned me to the kind of location where pulling into the wrong driveway as a visibly queer or nonwhite person can get you shot. and its a setting for trans people that is, i would say, at significantly higher risk of getting you fired or written about in fox news.

its august. i have been on t for about a year, but i hadnt had top surgery yet. and im likr 5'1 and kinda chubby. i have just started to reliably pass but its very context dependent and i have to put a Lot of work in.

this lady hasnt seen me since february. no one from the program has. she straight up does not think i pass. as she made abundantly clear to me.

not once did she ever try to contact me to let me know who of the people id be working with knew i was trans, give me any advice on how to approach the situation, or offer me literally any kind of support.

i have thought about this a lot over the years, because at the end of the day nothing ended up happening. i spent like an hour and a half every day driving to this internship fucking STRAPPED in my binder so i ended up wearing it for like at least 10 hours a day for months. i had to show my id to the front desk staff every time i went in and they would print me out a sticker i was supposed to wear with my deadname and my picture from my license where i was very clearly a woman. id have to wear just long enough to leave the office and immeditely strip it off in the hallway and discreetly throw it away before my supervisor saw, because i quickly INFERED that my supervisors did not know i was trans. the front office ladies would whisper about me every day. i was literally constantly on edge worrying when she shoe was gonna drop and my supervisors or the site admin or a client would find out and i'd get kicked out of the internship.

and this lady had spent so long yelling at us about how she cannot guarantee that youll graduate on time if you turn down an internship and you go on the bottom of the list for a new placement if you get kicked out and if you have to stay to get more hours you have to pay for a whole other semester of hours. i was already behind bc of covid.

i want to make it clear that in hindsight i understand that this was discrimination, quite obviously actually. at best it was straught negligence and at worst outright retaliation. at the time i really thought about complaining to the director or making a title ix complaint but i knew they were just going to blame it on covid. and if i went through and made a complaint and they completely agreed and removed me from the site, covid would be a great excuse to not give me another placement right anyway so either way i was just. boned.

my next placement was a lot safer thankfully but it was at the exact same setting as before. which, you know, not the best setting for trans people and the way this job works out, if you don't get practice hours in a specific setting its really hard to make the shift after graduation. i ended up getting a job at this place after actually which is great but its like. i got shut out of this whole area of my field. and that is NOT typical, even with covid most of the people in the class got more varied placements than i did. like ive told people in my field about getting two of the same type of job site and they were like "wait you can do that and graduate" and like a ton of people dont even WANT to have varied placements bc they already know exactly where they want to working im sobbing. like ive been trying to get into the one area of my field where we work with trans people and its so hard bc i just dont have any of these foundational experiences i need for that!!!

and now i am. screaming im screaming no im moving out of state bc we are getting to the point where if i stay here and things get any worse im going to be able to get charged with a sex crime for pissing at my place of employment and lose my fucking license or just have to explain it to every fucking landlord and licensing board for the rest of my life forever and like. just like the placement, is it likely to happen? probably not. but i dont deserve to live in the fear of losing my livelihood every day!!

so im in the process of leaving the damn state bc its not fucking safe for me. and the state im moving to needs this fucking paper filled out by my graduate program saying im competent to do this damn job and i did all the hours which is so fucking stupid bc they GRADUATED ME with a fucking 4.0!! and i have emailed this lady twice trying to get her to fill out the damn paper and she has not responded

im just like. so tired. i thought so hard about filing a complaint with the chair or title ix. i didnt, because i didnt wanna "burn the bridge" or whatever and i wasnt gonna win anyways. like i knew it would just be me having to relive all that shit and getting told i didnt advocate for myself well enough and its actually my fault AND I WAS PROBABLY RIGHT lets be real but i am like. regretting not doing that bc then at least there would be a paper trail.

i had like a whole fucking freak out today realizing that this lady 100% has the power to put me through that exact same awful insidious kind of discrimination that's so hard to meaningfully prove and its making me feel out of control. i know im putting the cart before the horse it is just like. its genuinely hard to describe how awful and dehumanizing everything was during that time in my life. i pretty much stopped writing after that first placement and i fucking always had ignorant fucking assholes talking shit to me in my dms and ao3 comments, trans people picking fights with me over fanfiction and fucking say shit like "no trans person would ever say xyz" and "hes a disappointment as a trans person" and "i just dont think his trans fic is good representation" in public, zero fucking apology, i got on antidepressants for the first and only time in my life. and i was in a fucking emotionally abusive relationship! that shit broke my fucking brain!!

i am doing better now not the same guy anymore i have joy sometimes and i am functioning better than i literally ever thought possible and i am going to move so i can have a life.

but also even though it feels very bad like im talking every time i think about this my chest gets all tight like im gonna have a panic attack and it has been SO LONG since i felt that way, i am going to send the emails and and call the front desk and email the department chair and fucking drive up there and bother the shit out of her until she does it. and like hey maybe she fucking wont! but if she gives me a hard time. it will cause me significant professional consequences and little if any professional gain but like fuck if i deserved any of that!!! its been so many years and i keep talking down to myself like it wasnt that big of a deal im just being self-centered it was probably a coincidence youre blowing things out of proportion bc thats how all my cis classmates talked about it but like i WASNT. i wasnt, i was not being dramatic or sensitive or whatever. i was not safe and i had basically no power in that situation and it was messed up. i finished my hours fucking three days before the deadline! three days from having to pay like $3k more than all my classmates and cancel my fucking top surgery if i wanted to graduate!! lady fundamentally changed the course of my career for no motherfucking reason!!!!

all that to say if she gives me a hard time i am going to file a discrimination complaint against her national certification it takes like a year and there's like 0% chance i'll like "win" in arbitration or whatever regardless of whether or not she signs the stupid fucking paper. ill either have to pay like $3k more go to back to school or pay like $1k to pull some morally dubious license and certification nonsense or try to transition to another setting if she doesnt. but like fuck her and every academic like her who thinks they can get away with that kinda shit without any consequences

NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT I YHIMK GRAD SCHOOL GAVE ME TRAUMA ACTUALLY