#in every universe there is and has to be a happy ending for them

[muirmarie]

trans woman mccoy getting beamed aboard the enterprise in tmp, after walking away from her two shitty boyfriends post five year mission (after they walked away from her first), with literally no one besides uhura, chapel, and scotty knowing she transitioned in the intervening years.

kirk, finding out there on the transporter platform, looking at her in her deep vee jumpsuit, showcasing a type of cleavage she never had before, and the primary emotion in his eyes is anger, isn't it: anger that there's any part of bones that he doesn't know, that he didn't know before anyone else.

mccoy, who'd finally had the space and distance - distance away from the way her life collapsed after her dad's death, after her marriage ended, after james kirk started filling up every single bit of her life, after spock started crowding in and impossibly filling up even more - cast adrift without a purpose for the first time in her life, having had the chance to actually figure things out, and finding a way to be happy, finding a way to be happy. she's got a boyfriend back on earth, a thriving practice, a life.

i need you, bones. badly, kirk says.

where else is she going to be but by his side?

spock walking onto the bridge, and she moves towards him to greet him without thinking, without -

is it surprise, she thinks, in his face? surprise that's so quickly pulled back underneath that perplexing, frustrating, endearing poker face?

she doesn't think so.

she thinks it's guilt.

so that's what she gets.

she gets anger from one of them and guilt from the other, and neither of them are talking. that's fine. she's spent too much time talking the last few years. talking in therapy, talking things out, talking about her families expectations and her father's legacy and her daughter's hero worship and the way jocelyn always accused her of holding something back.

she's held a lot of things back, she thinks.

for what purpose? what did it all matter, in the end?

(isn't she right back where she swore she'd never be?

isn't she right back where she'd knew she'd always end up?)

when this mission is over, she'll leave. she'll go home.

(doesn't that other life feel paper-thin as soon as she's thrown back into the action? doesn't it all rip apart when she's by their sides?)

uhura asks her, in the few seconds of breathing space they have, whether she's missed it.

(scotty gives her a glass of moonshine she downs quick and easy, and she knows which one she prefers.)

they're gonna fight about it. of course they're gonna fight about it. what has she ever held gripped tight in her hands that kirk hasn't tried to grab, that spock hasn't tried to trick her into dropping. what has she ever had that was ever hers and hers alone?

(this, she thinks. me, she thinks.

she used to be better at lying to herself, she thinks.)

it knows only that it needs, commander, spock says. but, like so many of us...it does not know what.

she keeps her eyes steady on the viewscreen.

what do i need, she thinks. what do i know but the fact that i do need.

what it requires of its god, doctor, is the answer to its question, 'is there nothing more?'

what more is there than the universe, spock? she asks.

it's a philosophical question.

it's the least philosophical question she's ever asked.

they lose decker and gain a new lifeform, watch evolution happen before their eyes.

what more is there than the universe?

she can see it in spock's eyes that he's staying. knows it long before he says it. there was a time, she thinks, that kirk wouldn't have even asked, would've taken her staying as guaranteed: he wants her there, so there she'll be.

he's cautious with her, now. cautious in his anger, in the anger they both know he has no right to feel.

he left. he doesn't get to miss the things he missed.

he does anyway.

bones... he says. he's older, and so is she. spock, the bastard, still looks the same as ever.

she wants to make him say it.

she wants to make both of them say it. wants to drag it out of them, beat it out of them, make them choke on it if she has to.

what do i need, she thinks. what do i know but the fact that i do need.

doctor? spock asks. he's got that little worried twist to his mouth that he's never been able to hide, not from her. they're all an open book to each other, aren't they.

aren't they still.

she should make them say it. she should.

she won't.

bones? kirk says, worry, for the first time, spilling out over the anger.

she'll give them their fight. she'll box their fucking ears if she has to. but she can't make him worry and wait, not for this.

she gets to live her life, and if they want to know what's happening - if they want to know her - then that's their responsibility, not hers. he can be angry all he wants. she's angry, too.

but where else is she gonna be, besides at their sides?

(where else, she thinks, are they ever going to end up, but at her side?)

second star on the right? she says.

kirk smiles, but spock takes a step closer, crowding into them like he always pretends he's not doing. she can see it in him, can see it in both of them, that they want to touch her. they don't, not yet. not quite.

but spock shifts just enough to brush his shoulder against her. kirk's smile gets brighter.

straight on 'til morning, spock says.

so damn it all, she smiles, too.

[aftgficrec]

Staff Recs - Christmas/Winter

We haven’t done a winter season roundup for a while, so this will be a multi-part post with short fics and more to come. Happiest of holidays to you and yours from the AFTG Fic Rec Fam!

NB: I came across several tumblr posts asking for help finding a fic with specific Christmas scenes, and the answer was ‘let them hear me shout (for you).’ So, you might want to check that out along with the rest of ‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ series if you haven’t read it or want to revisit an old favourite. It’s complete now, find it here. 

My personal favorite 5-snowflake fics from this collection are highlighted below and featured at the top of the recs. -A

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

‘We Can Live Forever’ by mostly_maudlin - A wintry high school au with healthy rivalries and pining. Best friends andreil are so woven together it’s a wonder no one has dubbed them with a ship name as Andrew helplessly pines. It’s snappy and full of family, foxes and developing relationships. If you don’t normally read fics where they’re teens, you may like this one.

‘The Monkey in the Wrench’ by Fire_Bear - A Die Hard au with bamf!neil protecting his family and reigniting old love feels like the Christmas fic we never knew we needed. Breaking my own rule of falling for a wip for this one.

‘Cerulean Nights’ by misalignedstars - kevjean shipper or not, the star crossed lovers/longing/yearning/regret subplot hurts so good. This may be the yearningest thing I’ve ever read.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

previous recs:

links to previous Staff Recs Christmas/Winter here

Staff Recs - New Year/New Beginnings here

seasonal ask: part 1 winter, part 2 Christmas

‘Your love is my drug’ here (completed)

‘The Missed Connections Support Group’ here

‘A Book for Christmas’ and ‘coffee & crosswords’ here

‘I'm just the same as I was’ here

‘Go Team!’ here

‘Pause and Restart my Heart’ series part 1 here 

‘Guardian Angel’ series here

‘permanent’ here

‘Paint Our Lives In Color’ here

‘A little closer to home’ here

‘Razor sharp smile and icy blue eyes’ here

‘Stop the World’ here

‘True Love Waits’ series here

‘In Time We'll Be Fine,’ ‘Breathing in the Snowflakes,’ and ‘the memory of burning’ here

‘Bedroom Voices’ here 

‘I Caught Fire’ here

‘this room, our universe’ here

‘Virus’ here

‘Andrew Minyard's Diary’ here

‘A Phantom and a Fly’ here

‘In Flanders Fields’ and ‘Front Lines’ here (historical, jewish neil)

‘Burning the skies’ here (fantasy)

‘RED, RISE, RULE’ here (fantasy)

‘Witching You A Happy Holiday’ here (fantasy)

‘Like a River’ here (harry potter)

‘A Falling Star’ series part 3 here (kerejean)

‘Promises’ here (kevaaron)

‘Mixed Feelings and Not Second Choices’ here (kevaaron)

‘Every Sinner Has A Future’ here (neil/aaron)

‘my one, my dear’ here (kevin/robin)

‘daydream in pink’ here (kev/allison)

We Can Live Forever by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 46706 Words, Complete, 2022]

PALMETTO HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETIC FUNDRAISER WINTER SERENADES - $5 EACH On sale Dec. 15-17 during lunch blocks. Support our teams, and let them show your friends how much you care through choreographed song and dance! Participation in the fundraiser is mandatory for all student-athletes. Maybe none of this would have happened if they weren't pushed out of their comfort zones. (But honestly, maybe it was always going to end this way.) A story about the joys of competition, the people in your corner, and, of course, the misfortune of being a teenager in love with your best friend.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: alcohol, tw: internalized homophobia

NB: includes fanart by @letraspal

The Monkey in the Wrench by Fire_Bear [Rated M, 9431 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2024]

Despite his misgivings, Neil has agreed to attend his friends' work's Christmas party on the eve before Christmas Eve. His ex is going to be there, it's in a fancy building, and he's just come off a cross-country flight. There is nothing he wants to do less. It gets worse when an armed group invades the building and takes everyone hostage. Now Neil has to find a way to save everyone and stop the attackers from getting away with it.

tw: violence

Cerulean Nights by misalignedstars [Not Rated, 99742 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil wasn’t exactly wrong about Ichirou Moriyama, but he also wasn’t exactly right: Ichirou is a shrewd businessman who cares little for Exy, that much is true. Unfortunately, he also likes using his assets to their full potential. Soon after being acquired by Ichirou Moriyama, Kevin finds himself on an errand to Japan with his former teammate, under the guise of a PR tour to distract the media and the public from his real mission. Old wounds rip open and old flames rekindle as Kevin and Jean are forced to navigate the Exy politics of an unknown land and survive the Japanese underworld at the same time. tldr: Ichirou Moriyama becomes the unwitting cupid for Kevin and Jean when he sends them on a PR tour as a front for conducting some secret yakuza business in the background.

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: assault

I want to find a home (and I want to share it with you) by ofwhitedaisies [Rated T, 21526 Words, Complete, 2024]

The sun was peeking past the trees, its warm glow bathing the cafe with pretty yellows and oranges. Andrew stuck his ear-buds into his ears, and continued to work. Today would be quiet, he thought to himself. Good. Of course, as God hated Andrew, and peace was never an option, trouble arrived in the form of a boy in ratty orange converse and a lousy motorbike. ~ In which Andrew is a baker, Neil is a delivery man and Kevin just wants to play Exy.

tw: implied/referenced torture

Comfort Food by moonix [Rated T, 29241 Words, Complete, 2024, Locked]

Kevin has just retired from a prosperous Exy career and needs a personal chef, a new couch, and a hobby. Neil reluctantly provides.

wishes are real, not free by defractum [Rated T, 14611 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2016]

A Beauty and the Beast inspired AU in which Andrew's outer monster reflects his inner monster.

tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: dead animals, tw: hunger, tw: fire, tw: violence, tw: major character injury, tw: canonical character death

Family Affairs by KweenDay [Rated T, 21232 Words, Incomplete, Update Jan 2024, Locked]

Andrew meets Neil and Kevin in a group home when he's thirteen. They're an odd pair, with Neil's reckless outbursts and short fuse, and Kevin's stillness and sad, soulful eyes, and their fierce protectiveness of each other. Against all odds, Andrew befriends them. By the end of the second week, he knows he's found his people. By the end of the month, they make a promise to always find each other, no matter where they land. And they do. Every year, on Christmas Eve, they find each other and spend it together. AKA Andrew, Neil and Kevin make a promise to spend every Christmas together when they're kids. Those are their Christmases over the years.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced csa

Winter Woes series by thisonethatone [Rated M/E, Collection, Updated Feb 2024]

Part 1: The Way the Wind Blows [E, 15912 Words, Complete] ‘Who are you?’ ‘Who am I?’ He mocked with a loftily raised brow and faux bravado. ‘You are in My tower. Don’t you think I have the right to such bold questions?’ The boy simply raised a brow in return, his blade tracing a deadly path down to the hollow of his throat. ‘Yet I am not the one under a blade.’ His face morphed into something less deadly as amusement played across his features.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: death threats, tw: child abuse, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: major character injury

Part 2: Rabbit’s Foot, Snake’s Tongue [M, 4926 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 20204] Neil is snatched up by the Moriyama Empire and forcefully betrothed to their deranged youngest son, Andrew is mortally wounded and searching frantically for his lover, and Riko is always one step ahead.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: murder, tw: kidnapping

jewish neil

Spun a Dreidel With My Love by buriedinbaltimore [Not Rated, 14023 Words, Complete, AFTG Winter Exchange 2020]

Chapter 1 (Rated T): It’s 6.5 years after canon and the Foxes host a holiday party! Chapter 2 (Rated E): After the party, Andrew and Neil play strip dreidel and have dirty sex.

tw: explicit sexual content

kandreil, kevaaron, rarepairs

just pretend by orionauriga [Rated M, 23305 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2023]

This was supposed to be a team bonding trip to rectify Kevin’s never-been-skiing claim — but with everyone else snowed out and him snowed in with the two people he’s spent months avoiding, evading, ignoring, it’s turning out to be an actual nightmare. Not that he’ll ever tell Neil and Andrew that. To make matters worse, he is (regrettably) sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit in love with them. Not that he’ll ever tell them that either.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Kevin Day Hated Christmas by erosandhades [Rated T, 13340 Words, Complete, 2020]

Kevin Day hated Christmas and no one but himself, his dad and stepmother knew why, and that was the way he wanted things to be. But after an unexpected night and a situation that changes everything, Kevin wonders if maybe the future holds more than he thought possible.

tw: disordered eating, tw: claustrophobia, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced suicide, tw: implied/referenced child neglect, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced torture

Fairy Lights by KweenDay [Rated M, 29637 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Neil and Aaron are strangers who swap houses for the holidays, trying to avoid spending them with their families. Then Neil meets Aaron's more-than-a-little-interesting enigmatic brother. And Aaron meets Neil's more-than-a-little-infuriating incredibly attractive best friend. So much for peace, then. a.k.a The Holiday inspired Andreil/Kevaaron AU

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: implied/referenced torture

NB: Christmas Andreil from Fairy Lights art by @strokeofinspiration here

Royal Flush by OfficialStarsandGutters [Rated T, 29460 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Winter 2021]

Royalty AU for the AFTG Winter Exchange - Neil Josten is a thief; a shadow without a name, changing identities like people change clothes. Until he steals an invitation to the Royal Winter Games. The Daylands are hosting this year, and their sport is always the same: exy. Neil knows it’s a foolish risk, but he just wants the chance to play on an official court. Just once. He hadn’t factored in how crossing paths with King Andrew Minyard might change things.

tw: violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: murder, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Aaron Likes To Be Choked?! by Alluin_Fengari [Rated M, 46422 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2024]

Aaron likes to think that his relationship with Katelyn is perfect. And while Aaron might not be perfect, Katelyn is, in Aaron's eyes anyways. But the question, "Does Aaron likes to be chocked??" Surges when his family over Christmas break notices the bruises in Aaron's neck. But at the same time, his family of monster being them do not think that it was something kinky, sadly, it appears that they are more correct than Aaron wants to ever admit.

tw: dubcon, tw: domestic abuse, tw: unhealthy relationship, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: victim blaming, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced alcohol abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: internalized homophobia

Two's a Crowd, and Three's a Party by rakshasaandcarcasses [Rated T, 11369 Words, Complete, 2024]

In the back of his mind, he was still considering what Jeremy had suggested. Aaron would rather be thrown down ten flights of stairs by Andrew personally than be stuck in between Matt and Jeremy right now. Jeremy, Aaron, and Matt go ice skating, and Aaron realizes something about the others and then about himself!!

Art

winter sweater for a fox art by @girubato

The big three: upperclassmen Christmas banquet art by @mioxza

Happy holidays ya filthy animals art by @emry-stars-art 

tfc winter mug series art by @jojen-hewitt: Neil | Andrew | Kevin | Jeremy | Jean | Renee

andreil mistletoe with betting foxes art by @andreil-minyasten

andreil Nice and Naughty Christmas sweaters art by @kkyraken

andreil New Year’s Eve kiss art by @thematicallycoherent

andreil at the Christmas market art by @ravenclawkward-art 

andreil at a cafe in England for the holidays art by @rainbowd00dles

andreil cozy christmas art by @/ohkitzinger on twitter

Please don’t go, I love you so and Merry Christmas art by @ouijacine

Christmas time!! art by @/amesfgc on twitter

andreil Christmas Redraw art by @/MASSLOW5 on twitter

All I want for Christmas is you art by @jayjuls

andreil: happy new year, christmas baking, decorating tree art by @/lis_photoart on instagram

[newtthetranswriter]

Lost and Found Soulmates

(I would kill for my tiger boy)

Word count: 1234

Paring: Kazutora Hanemiya x gn! Reader

Summary: Soulmate connections are weird, hopefully finding things your soulmate lost can actually help you find them.

A/n: Hello everyone, this is my entry for @softxsuki ‘s Fanfic contest. I really loved the idea of the event and seeing that the word count was changed from 5k to 1k really helped push me to actually participate. I’m happy with how this idea turned out and even if I don't win, at least it was the motivation I needed to beat up my writer’s block a little bit. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

   “You don’t get it Takashi, you have such a normal connection with your soulmate. I have to try and piece together who they are based on random shit that appears in my house once a month.” I ranted to my lavender haired friend once again. “Like how are a pencil and hair tie supposed to lead me to my soulmate? Almost every person on earth has access to these things.” I said, laying my head on the table next to Takashi’s sewing machine.

   All I received in response was a chuckle and a shake of his head. “Your silence doesn’t help me Taka. You’re supposed to be giving advice.” I grumbled.

   “What do you want me to say Y/n? It’s not like I know who your soulmate is. All you can do is hope that the next thing they lose is an actual clue to who they are.” He answered, while still focusing on the jacket he was working on. “Or you could try to lose something that tells your soulmate how to find you.” Takashi suggested.

   “It won’t work. I’ve already tried that. Somehow the universe knows when I’m trying to lose stuff. Plus every time I lose my wallet it always shows up in an hour or so. Stuff that gets switched is gone for the whole month.” I explained, not missing the look of judgement that crossed my friends face. “Don’t judge me. If you had such an absurd connection you’d try anything to figure out who you’re meant to be with.” Standing up and stretching, I sighed. “Anyways I should get going. I have to get some stuff before the Toman meeting later.” Takashi just nodded, giving a quick see you later, before going back to looking at the stitches.

   Walking out of the studio, I couldn’t help but sigh dreading the idea of returning home to find the useless item my soulmate lost this month. Like I said before it’s always something that is no help at all in finding my soulmate. Sometimes I just wish my soulmate connection was something normal like their name on my wrist or hearing each other's thoughts. It would make things so much easier instead of this stupid game of lost and found.

   The walk back to my little apartment was quiet as if the world around me knew that I was dreading walking through my front door. When I finally did get inside I was surprised that sitting on my coffee table wasn’t the usual pencil or hair tie.

  No this month it was something different, something that left me at a loss for words. Sitting in the same spot where the lost objects always appear, was a single earring. But not just any earring, it was a short gold chain that ended in a simple golden bell. The same golden bell I had seen hanging alongside black and yellow hair since I was in middle school. The same golden bell that was one of two distinguishing features of one of my closest friends.

  I stood in my living room just staring at the piece of jewelry for what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes. This had to be a coincidence right, my soulmate just happened to have a similar earring. There was no way my soulmate was actually Kazutora, the guy I had admired for years but settled with just being his friend because there was no chance we were soulmates.

  Before I could try and convince myself that he had just dropped the last time he came over, my phone started ringing. Lifting it up I didn’t bother checking the caller ID, I just brought it to my ear before speaking. “Hello-”

  I was cut off by a frantic Kazutora. “Did you leave your locket at my apartment last time you came over?” He asked, not bothering to say hello or ask how my day was going.

  Hearing mention of my locket, I thought back to this morning when I was getting ready and couldn’t find the small golden necklace that I always wore. I knew it was missing this morning but I also knew for a fact that I had it the night before and I hadn’t been to Kazutora’s place in over a week. There was no way I left my locket at his apartment.

  “Where are you?” He asked, taking my silence as an answer.

  Snapping out of my train of thought, I finally responded. “I’m at my apartment.” Before I could say anything else or asked if he had left his earring here, the call cut off. 

   Looking down at my phone startled and confused, I got ready to call him back. As I was about to hit the dial button, a loud knocking sounded from the front door. Setting down my phone and grabbing the earring from the table, I moved to open the front door. In front of me stood none other than Kazutora, he looked just as frantic as he had sounded on the phone. 

   “This might sound crazy but you’re my soulmate.” He said as soon as he registered that I had opened the door. His words were then followed by him raising his hand to show the golden heart shaped locket I had since I was child.

   Finally accepting that this was in fact happening right now, I raised my own hand. “This also might sound crazy, but you’re also my soulmate.” I said, revealing the bell in my hand.

   After sharing a laugh and inviting him in, we sat together on my couch. Just enjoying each other's company and joking about the random things we had found over the years.

   “Seriously, how do you lose so many hair ties?” I asked from my spot next to him.

   He just shrugged. “I don’t know, they’re small and disappear easily, I guess. How do you manage to lose so many socks, like do you have a dresser just full of different ones? Cause I swear I never once saw two of the same sock.” He shot back.

   “Don’t judge me and my mismatched socks. At least I know how to keep track of pencils.” I said sticking out my tongue.

   A comfortable silence soon enveloped the space, like we were both content to just be here close to each other. It made sense honestly, we had been friends since middle school and it wasn’t uncommon for us to just hang out in silence. But there was something different about this silence, like even if we didn’t notice it before  there was still something that finally just felt right.

  “I’m glad that you’re my soulmate.” Kazutora said, breaking the silence. “You’ve always been there for me and you make me feel so relaxed. It makes perfect sense that it’s you.”

   I just moved closer to him, cuddling into his side. “I can say the same about you.”

   With that we spent the evening enjoying each other’s existence and relishing in the fact we finally found our soulmates. It wouldn’t be until the next morning that we realized we had totally missed the Toman meeting after seeing dozens of calls and texts from our friends. We both just laughed it off anyways, after all it had been years since the ‘meetings’ were anything more than a hangout with all the founders. Plus once they heard the news they’d forgive us.

(dividers by @/cafekitsune)

Cash app : $newtjames0220

[opinions-about-tiaras]

It seems basically completely determined that the series finale will involve the core cast being the heroes of their own story; that's been every single season finale so far, even the first one where Riker had to show up to bail them out. Ever since then, every big final confrontation has involved the Cerritos rising up to prove that they're fuckin' Starfleet, their dinky little second-line vessel is a hero ship.

It's absolutely crazy that the fun office comedy has been at the forefront of reminding people that Vulcans are awesome, that we love them for a reason, and that being a Vulcan isn't a problem, it is a solution. SNW has some of the Enterprise poison in its veins; a lot of times Spock's Vulcanity is portrayed as a problem and Vulcan society composed of fucked-up fuckers who seem like more polite Romulans.

Of course Lower Decks would be the ones to bring back T'Pol and of course she would feel just right. This is the series that brought us T'Lyn, who is highly empathetic, intuitive, and codes heavily as autistic, who was exiled from her own ship, and told us "She is Vulcan as a motherfucker." In retrospect, Lower Decks were the only ones who could open this door. My biggest anger over the series getting its throat slit is that we won't get more T'Lyn and more Vulcan stories. I want to see her inevitable confrontation with Sokal, dammit.

As far as the multiverse goes... maybe I just have low standards, but I am, in general, absolutely okay with putting a different hat on a character and then getting excited over the hat. I suppose it depends on what the hat is? Because that's sort of, you know, the whole point of these things from my point of view. The original Mirror, Mirror was largely about different hats on the same people; it asks the very simple question "What if the Federation was fascist?" and then shows us how that works. (It does a much better job of this than DIS.) Similarly, Through the Looking Glass asks us "Kira Nerys was a slave from a society of slaves; what if she were a ruler from a society of rulers?" and the answer to that question is "She's Gul Dukat." That's not really very deep, but was still a story worth telling. (I know, I know, the DS9 Mirror universe went off the rails later on.)

I mean, hell, the most effective part of TNG's Parallels is a half-deranged, screaming Riker, trying to murder Worf from the bridge of his fucked-up, falling apart Enterprise-D, shrieking "The Borg are everywhere! We won't go back!" It's like twenty seconds of putting a different hat on him and DAMN does it work.

As far as Curzon goes, I think Sean Ferrick over at TrekCulture said, basically, "Yeah, okay, he's just Shax, innit he?" and he's right about that. Jadzia would have made way more sense; nobody had a very strong connection to Curzon as a character, and he doesn't do much beyond yell and stab and be happy about yelling and stabbing. In fact, he felt wrong to me AS Curzon; Curzon was a bon vivant, a gambler and socializer, as befits an incredibly successful diplomat. This guy doesn't feel at all like what we saw; everyone else feels like themselves, Garak and Bashir are recognizably Garak and Bashir, T'Pol absolutely feels like she should, Curzon is... just some guy. Where's the wish fulfillment here?

(The nitpicky side of me would also like to know they get Trill biology wrong; the symbiotes can survive perfectly well without a host, they do it all the time for extended periods. When Jadzia died sending the Dax symbiote back to Trill was considered routine, it only ended up in Ezri because of exigent circumstances.)

To circle back to T'Pol; Lower Decks were the only ones who could open this door, I think, but SNW are the only ones who can give us the more generous, serious version of her story. SNW is spending an awful lot of time on how Spock becomes Spock. And Spock only exists, in both a thematic meta-narrative sense and a very real physical in-universe sense, because of T'Pol. This is the only context in which she can get what she deserves, because it is the only hook that reasonably exists.

Lower Decks, "Fissure Quest": Scattered Thoughts

As someone who has had a complicated relationship with Lower Decks precisely because of how rooted it is in references, fanservice, and callbacks, you'd think this episode would be my Kryptonite. But you know what, I'm going to let them have it. One episode from the (thoroughly unjustified; this show could have run another five years, easy) end, I don't think it's fair to complain about Lower Decks being Lower Decks. And while I didn't unreservedly love this story (more on that below) I actually found the complete immersion in references (while leaving "our" main characters offscreen) more tolerable than a lot of episodes that center around how these new Star Trek characters just happen to be Star Trek fans.

(Also, I'm holding out hope that, having gotten the fanservice component of the show out of their system in the first half of the two-parter, the Lower Decks writers will end their show by telling a Lower Decks story, about the Lower Decks characters being heroes in their own right. We shall see.)

Obviously the fandom focus is going to be on canon(-ish) Garak/Bashir (and it is rather clever how the episode manages to have its cake and eat it on this front, distancing these versions of the characters enough from the originals that if this ship isn't your cup of tea it doesn't have to color the baseline story). But to me the most important choice in the episode is T'Pol. I was talking just recently about how screwed-over this character was - not just by the Enterprise writers' sexism, but by a backlash against Vulcans that spread through DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise in the late 90s/early 00s, and which Lower Decks has been at the forefront of addressing (Discovery and SNW have, in comparison, been rather wobbly on this front). T'Pol, and Jolene Blalock, have for a long time deserved the kind of redemption Seven of Nine has gotten, and hopefully "Fissure Quest" isn't the full extent of it.

(One complicating factor is that Blalock has left acting - she apparently goes by her married name these days, and is credited only as "Jolene" in the episode credits. This might complicate a potential guest appearance on SNW, for example.)

Another thing I liked is that this episode functions as a redemption for William Boimler without going too hard on this point. He's still fundamentally different from our Boimler in not-terribly-likable ways, but he gets to save the day and to behave like a real officer and captain, without becoming just another copy of OG Boimler. I also appreciated that all this is achieved while keeping the Section 31 of it all to a minimum. Boimler is still working for them, as evidenced by his badge (can we pause for a moment to contemplate how nonsensical the idea that Section 31 have their own uniforms and badge design is?), but their name isn't even mentioned, which I am taking as an indication that the Lower Decks writers agree with me about the misguidedness of this whole concept.

(Also good: a sciency, risk-averse Mariner who nevertheless rises to the occasion and saves the day.)

And having said all that, here comes the complaint: I am largely on W. Boimler's side on the whole matter of the multiverse, and when he went into his rant about how it's all just eye-catching variations on familiar things without any substance to back them up, I wanted to stand up and cheer. Until, that is, I remembered that this opinion was being voiced by a character who is a) a villain, and b) in the grips of depression. The fact that the opposing view is expressed by Lily motherfucking Sloane is, I think, a pretty solid indication of what side the episode wants us to come down on, but I remain unconvinced. It would be nice if multiverse stories were about exploring endless possibility and, through that exploration, learning more about where you started from. But most of them are just about putting a new hat on a familiar character and getting excited over the hat.

Which I think the episode itself mostly bears out. Boimler's crew are all fun and cute, but none of them go very deep into the characters or stories they're riffing off. Garak and Bashir are together simply so fans can have the visual or them as a cute married couple, not as a result of any attempt to grapple with how these two complicated, flawed characters might actually end up in a romantic relationship (or, for that matter, with the fact that Garak ends DS9 in a quasi-suicidal state). T'Pol deserves her more generous, more serious story, but it's telling that this story (she's best friends with Curzon Dax!) feels almost random, a reminder that what Enterprise did with her - stripping her naked, insulting her Vulcanness, and killing her loved ones - doesn't lend itself to a continuation that is worth following. And the Harry Kim gag does nothing to address, and in fact tries to make a virtue out of, the stasis that character was held in for seven seasons of Voyager. I don't want to ding the episode too hard, because I did end up enjoying it. But the conclusion I take away from it is that if you want to really explore a character, especially one who has been overlooked, you're much better off doing what Picard did with Seven of Nine, moving forward from where they left off while giving them more serious consideration, rather than just cycling through a bunch of different variations on them.

Finally, does anyone else think that Curzon Dax was originally meant to be Jadzia Dax, and things just didn't work out with Terry Farrell? Given how every other crewmember is someone who was screwed over by the narrative or the writers, or just something the fans have long wanted to see, the choice of Curzon seems to stick out. A Jadzia Dax who wasn't killed by Dukat (and an opportunity for Farrell to come back to Star Trek after the bad blood of her departure from DS9) feels much closer to the "fan wish fulfillment" ethos that seems to have been this episode's brief.

[wandixx]

Halloween dress-up, let's go!!!

Assignment: "Dress up as ghosts".

Status: Yes. They're ghosts. Just really different types of ghosts

[butchnavi]

multishipping is a superpower you neeeeeeeeeeed to have when you love getting into shitty gay media with found family because OF course they're going to make an incest map of all the characters and your otp will almost definitely not be endgame. of course they're going to pair the main guy and girl together as endgame just because. and I mean you COULD be a hater about it and curse the writers and throw a four year long fit but it's so much more fun when you just make your peace with the fact that this was always going to happen and pretend everyone is in a happy little polycule as they go through 18575879 different pairings you know aren't going to last because fandom and just the experience of being a fan is so much more fun that way!!!

[deva-arts]

Human Vincent might be a daredevil, but he's still human. His unrepentant nature and tendency to run into things out of his depth doesn't bode too well for him either.

Honestly after the first five or so lines Bird Vince started feeling impressed. This did not quell his aggression, however.

[mlmneuvifuri]

hello ^^ huge neuvifuri fan here who has been shipping them since leaks came out tbh, here to infodump why i, personally, enjoy them as much as i do :3

(heed this warning; i do headcanon furina/focalors as a trans man so if you see me use he/him pronouns that is why, be not confused, jus my personal thing)

first off as soon as the very first fontaine trailer was released we see them together in the end shot! that small short scene alone sets up an amazing dynamic, even platonically. "Ugh boring!" "please refrain from levity in the court" sets us up with some assumptions already, that these two characters will have some interesting interactions, that these two know each other, and that they work together in some form or capacity, also furi is burning a piece of paper, this never got explained but god i loved it anyways

after that we play through the archon quest, we meet furina first as dramatic and loud as he was acting as he did, and neuvi second, a polite lurker in the shadows, confirming part of what we saw in the first fontaine trailer, further along this same quest we see them interact for the first time in the court; neuvi predicts furina is about to walks off and calls him out on it, confirming another part of the trailer; that they know each other /well/

and even further down the line we find out neuvi is the hydro dragon sovreign, meaning hes been around for possibly however long furina has, if not longer, making him ( in my opinion) hard to ship with anyone who isnt an archon and thats not because of age or anything its mostly like, Vibes, he has the old man vibe who doesnt understand memes and would call them "me-me"s or something, akin to zhongli, but not the point-- the point is neuvi is dragon, ageless, furina is archon, somewhat ageless as well, even after act V

when the traveler gets to go to the fortress of meropide as the ploy Tee Ehm, neuvi purposefully uses furinas cake, and maybe furina let him, who knows but the fact that he was comfortable enough to not get yelled at by furina for eating or giving away his treats is inexplicably soulmate-behavior to me

which brings me to my next point; focalors, focalors in the quest as we see him is immediately like "hello ^w^ im going to die now have your dragon powers back thank you neuvi" neuvi, having lived alongside and closely at that (remember that one scene furina was almost In His lap? that proves this in my view), with furi, just witnesses his other half Dissolve in front of his eyes, it was at that moment he realised he'd have a much darker life without furina, hence his extreame emotion with the following cutscene, hence the heavy heavy rain

in my opinion, and this part is all theory here, focalors made furina as human as he /could/ this does not mean furi no longer has any divinity at all because well, ,, if an archon makes a human clone of themselves can they really be rid of all divinity within that human? i think not, i think furina has always has like .5% divinity in him at all times, this is what keeps him alive this is his "curse" focalors gave him, this is why he is the only fontainian diver who sparkles when he jumps out of the water

furthermore, i think neuvi knew this and was genuinely confused at furina's court trial, he didnt know about focalors' deception, but he knew furina, very well, he knows furina couldnt be human because of how long hes lived but he knew furina was a little too frail as an archon, he's always seen through furina's theatrics, even at the start (i do not remember exactly where it was but that one scene where he tells the traveler furina is up in the vip seats in the courthouse and will get embarrassed if you ignore him for too long)

jumping a little ahead to the present fontaine now; Furina's Vision. what is the deal with furina's vision? why did he get a vision? why does his vision casing have teeth? fangs? on it?? and if theres no fontainian hydro divinity, no gnosis no connection to celestia well who gave him this vision in the first place?

Neuvillette.

the dragon power, the power hidden within every single archon gnoses, was given back to the hydro dragon, cutting off all hydro ties to celestia, dragon power thieves, focalors was anti-celestia, neuvi is anti-celestia, the whole of fontaine hates celestia ( a little on accident ) because of the prophecy in the first place !

Neuvillette, finally having whats rightfully his, decided to give his first and only vision (so far) to /furina/ of all people in teyvat, he was watching furina's play, he was noticing furina's own broken promise, he was loving every thing about furina in that moment and that is why he gave furi a vision

i am very normal about them :>

Neuvifuri nation I forgot to tell y'all that I did Furina's SQ with the intent of seeing what all the Neuvifuri hubbub was about, and I regret to inform you all that I still don't get it. 😔 I tried. In my head they feel more like two halves of the same person to me than anything else. They don't feel like friends, they don't feel familial, and they don't feel romantic. They're a secret fourth thing (darn secret nth thing syndrome >:/).

I actually genuinely wanna understand because in fanart and stuff it's such a pretty pairing and I wish I got it like y'all did but I just don't see it.

Anyway, what about it is appealing to y'all? I don't mean this sarcastically. I mean it genuinely. Tell me all about it! Infodump as much as you want! I'm a Neuvia fan, but I love analyzing character interactions and behaviors and I'd really enjoy discussing this, so feel free!

[americanrecord]

suicide blonde is going back to sleep, literally every time i touch the universe it unravels further and i've lost sense of everything and every character

[mxcrayon]

spoilers for loki finale | ive not seen the last couple episodes of loki but from what ive had spoiled on tiktok, it seems like the whole "destined to lose" thing always rings true. even in the universes where he wins, loki still loses. he makes up with thor, but he dies young and is remembered by one. he is a savior and has people who love him, but he is alone forever, the one thing he avoided like hell. even in the comics and his mythology, it seems like a good portion of his stories end with him in unfortunate situations, such as having his mind taken away from him, or separated from his children. the queers rly never win

[sparkly-skies]

@mondscheinprinzessin

LAURA LAURA LAURA

.... I might need to revise my meme. I haven't even slept yet but all this song makes me want to do is... idk, get better? Rob a bank and be able to pay for therapy and go get better? Get better and go to their concert and dance and sing along to the "oh damn it will get better even if I have to claw my way to it with my bare hands" song?

[cartwheelapple]

a bit of writing about the sunshipduo zombie au where guqqie is partly infected, after guqqie's infection had fully taken over and guqqie eventually went past the point of no return:

eventually, just like c!aimsey, this aimsey will let guqqie go and move on, they will grieve, so so much, and they will keep guqqie close to their heart for as long as they live but eventually they'll find a way to enjoy life again, no matter the desolate world and circumstances he has to live in.

maby he'll find others like ranboo, michela, tubbo and tommy, maby phil and kristin and he'll have a family again, he'll wont be alone anymore.

he will find a home again,

a home without guqqie, but that's just how life is. It doesnt always go your way, and there isn't always a happy ending,

but it will be allright,

somehow,

impossibly so,

it will be allright.

[stringsbasement]

ngl i 100% thought peri would be an antagonist

he's the first fairy in thousands of years, born directly under the lineage of what has to be the most powerful fairy family line in current existence

(cosmo is a von strangle, and also the very reason fairies stopped having babies in the first place. he's incredibly powerful and nobody talks about it for some reason. it's clear peri inherited that destructive potential)

the second he was born, entire fairy species (including his own kin) were out to get him to use his volatile magic for their own selfish goals. he's nearly kidnapped thrice, and almost ends the universe on the same day

the threats keep coming, and he's being dragged to countless adventures that put him at risk. he literally ceases to exist more than once

anyway, i wouldn't be surprised if some form of expectations were placed upon him growing up. maybe not by his family, but he's famous (a teacher described him as such once); in fairy world, he's automatically adored and celebrated by adults and peers alike, which foop antagonizes (and tries to kill) him for

cosmo and wanda would, realistically, of course try to shield him from all this, but no matter what they do, he's inevitably isolated

people either want to use him, put him on a pedestal, or is a universally infamous human godchild who will forget all about him in a matter of years

(cosmo and wanda becoming godparents and learning (choosing) to eventually let go of their kids is one thing, but it can be assumed poof was still a young, underdeveloped child by the time timmy (+chloe, for what it's worth) got his memories wiped

and he sees that timmy's able to live his own happy life without him in it. he lost his brother just like that, and there's nothing he can do despite all his godly powers)

there's so, so many ways he could've gone wrong

thus, my initial thought was that peri was going to be a somewhat petty, "spoiled brat," and him becoming a godparent would be the result of spite or rebellion, which cosmo and wanda would feel entirely responsible for. I HATE MY PARENTS!! yada yada yada

it was a pleasant surprise to see all those clips of them loving each other. and it's not even because i doubted for a second that cosmo and wanda are bad parents, it's just what you usually expect when seeing shows from the 2000s, even if it doesn't make sense

all things considered, i'm very glad they went for the lighthearted silly family trope. not every show needs such conflicts, and showing healthy dynamics are better for kids overall

still, i find it interesting to think about if they'd gone down another route instead. i love me a pathetic cringy villain who tries (fails) to hate the people they love the most

[guzhufuren]

A Guide to Some of the Best Queer Asian Shows

The guide includes a show’s basic summary; main genres/tropes/themes and official streaming links (additional info on how to watch at the end of this post)! You can find some content warnings in the reply section of this post. Shows are listed by countries, numbered by the order I recommend watching in, not by rating. All shows have happy endings unless specified otherwise. The list will hopefully be updated regularly (last updated on 04/04/2024, 98 queer shows in total).

Most shows are about mlm, I specify with coloured notes those that are focused on wlw, polyamory, aromantism/asexuality, etc.

Tumblr does not allow large texts or more than 30 images per post at the moment, so you can click on every country’s list to expand them and view them fully in a separate post. You can access this guide in a google doc here.

Thailand 🇹🇭 (full list here)

1. KinnPorsche mafia boss/bodyguard; action; kidnapper/kidnapee side couple

Kinn, a son of a prominent mafia head, is ambushed by an enemy, and meets Porsche, a bartender who comes to his rescue for a price, thus beginning their reluctant relationship as boss and bodyguard, which soon turns into something more.

iQIYI

2. Bed Friend friends with benefits; office setting; trauma

King and Uea work in the same office. After a company outing ends in a drunken hook-up between them, Uea and King agree to keep seeing each other on a strictly physical basis. With no strings attached, will these two be able to keep things between them simple and carefree or will their emotions eventually get the better of them?

Uncut 18+ on iQIYI or GagaOOLala or cut on YouTube

3. The Sign reincarnated lovers; fantasy; thai mythology; police

The story of the love between Phaya and Tharn who used to be mythological creatures Naga and Garuda in their past lives, and were forced apart. But fate intervened, and two men were reincarnated in new bodies. Now, they work together as partners in the Special Investigations Unit to uncover violent crimes and supernatural mysteries while their love is tested by mystical forces and past enemies.

YouTube

4. I Feel You Linger In The Air period drama; time travel; bittersweet

Jom, an architect overseeing the renovation of a rundown villa, continuously dreams of a man he's never met. When a twist of fate transports Jom to Chiang Mai in the 1920s, he assumes the role of a servant to the affluent young master Yai, the mysterious man from his dreams.

GagaOOLala or YouTube

5. You're My Sky sports; university setting; coming of age

Thorn, a young basketball player follows his senior Fah to university as a result of the promise they’d made — to become national basketball champions. However, to his dismay, he finds that Fah has already given up on basketball. --- Aai has to work in pairs throughout the semester with San, 1 year footballer; in order to receive a scholarship to study in Japan, Ai must be willing to do everything to get an A grade. --- Track running requires the compatibility of the team members to be very high. Vee, who became the new racquet 4, has to speed up training to fit in with the team as quickly as possible, especially with Dome, spending extra time together to train. Is love actually a major obstacle on the path of being an athlete?

Viki

> more tv shows from Thailand

GMMTV Thailand 🇹🇭 (full list here)

1. My School President high school setting; secret crush; school president/rebel musician

Gun is the head of his high school music club. Tinn is a school president and Gun's long-term rival. The Principal wants to disband some of the school’s “useless” after-school clubs, especially the music club. Per school rules, the student council president is the one who has the power to dissolve clubs. Gun is now at Tinn’s mercy, so he attempts to do whatever he can to persuade his rival not to cancel the music club. Little does he know, Tinn actually has a secret crush on him. Could romance brew as Gun makes a desperate attempt to secure the future of his band?

Viki (MSP) & YouTube (Our Skyy special 33-40) & YouTube (special)

2. Moonlight Chicken adult romance; age gap; deaf character

Jim is an ordinary guy running a chicken rice diner. One night, he meets Wen when he stays past closing drunk. Brought together by fate that night, intangible feelings arise. Neither can stop thinking about the other despite Jim's efforts to remain unattached. Jim also takes care of his nephew Li Ming, who is falling in love with Heart, a deaf teenager who is practically kept under house arrest by his affluent parents.

YouTube

3. Not Me revolution; freedom fighters; secret twins

When his twin Black is viciously attacked and subsequently left hospitalised in unconsciousness, White is unable to endure the harm done to his brother in silence. He learns Black was a part of a gang of anti-capitalist freedom fighters, and it was one of them who betrayed him. White disguises himself as Black to discover which one of them betrayed him and put him in a coma.

YouTube

4. 23.5 wlw; high school setting; secret admirer

Ongsa moves to a new school and meets Sun, a cute popular girl who she immediately falls for. However, she decides to approach Sun in instagram dms under the pseudonym Earth, leading Sun to believe she's talking to a guy. But Ongsa does not want to lose the opportunity to talk to Sun, so she decides to keep the fact that she is a girl a secret and continue talking as Earth.

YouTube

> more tv shows from GMMTV Thailand

Japan 🇯🇵 (full list here)

1. Cherry Magic!   mind reading; secret crush; office setting

By still being a vіrgin at 30, Adachi gains a magical power – the ability to read other people's minds by touching them. At first, he’s overwhelmed by his new ability, and it’s not proving to be helpful to him. But that all changes when he accidentally touches their office’s most perfect guy Kurosawa, who he learns has romantic feelings for him.

WeTV (Cherry Magic) & no international streaming of Cherry Magic The Movie is available to my knowledge, so watch on bilibili or KissKH

2. Kieta Hatsukoi (My Love Mix-Up!)   misunderstanding; high school setting

Aoki has a crush on Hashimoto, the girl in the seat next to him in class. But he despairs when he borrows her eraser and sees she's written the name of another boy — Ida — on it. To make matters more confusing, Ida sees Aoki holding that very eraser and thinks Aoki has a crush on him!

Viki

3. Our Dining Table food; child character

Salaryman Yutaka finds it difficult to share meals with other people. However, his life starts to change when one day, his cooking attracts the attention of a young boy named Tane and his older brother Minoru. The two brothers are impressed by Yutaka's cooking skill and invite him to their house to cook together. Yutaka's dreary life begins to change, and soon he finds himself looking forward to the meals he shares with the Ueda siblings together, as well as developing a taste for romantic feelings.

GagaOOLala

4. She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat wlw; neighbours; self-discovery; food

Nomoto loves to cook, but tends to make too much food and has no one to share it with. Luckily for her, turns out her neighbor Kasuga has a big enough appetite for the both of them.

No international streaming available, translated to english by Furritsubs, S1 & S2, watching instructions provided, please support translator on kofi.

5. Takara-kun to Amagi-kun high school setting; relationship exploration

Takara is a good-looking popular guy in class, while Amagi is a simple but bright and pure fellow classmate. The two begin to date in secret after Amagi's blurted out confession.

Viki or GagaOOLala

> more tv shows from Japan

China 🇨🇳 (full list here)

Most chinese shows are adapted from explicitly queer novels, the shows are undeniably and obviously queer, but nevertheless the queer romance part is censured. The only exception is number 4 on the list, it is not censored.

1. The Untamed period drama; fantasy

An epic fantasy led by a problem child who comes back from the dead 16 years later in order to fix the broken world he left behind — and finally unite with his soulmate.

YouTube

2. Word of Honor period drama; fantasy

The leader of assassin organisation Zhou Zishu quits his position in pursuit of freedom with drastic measures. In his travels, he meets Wen Kexing, the leader of Ghost Valley who wants nothing but revenge. The two become entangled in various machinations within the martial arts world, and eventually become soulmates instrumental in each other's redemption.

YouTube & Special Episode on Tumblr or DailyMotion

3. Couple of Mirrors wlw; period drama; socialite/assassin

You Yi is a kind-hearted socialite and a successful author. Her perfect life is turned upside-down when she discovers a betrayal by the two most trusted people in her life. With no one left to turn to, she finds refuge in the friendship and support of Yan Wei, a lonely female killer disguised as the owner of a photo studio.

YouTube. the show doesn’t have a happy ending, but it can be a happy ending for you if you stop watching at episode 12 timestamp 28:02.

4. Stay With Me enemies to lovers; high school setting; unconventional families; slow burn

Su Yu is a high school student who lives with his single poor father. Su Yu gets a new classmate Wu Bi. The two clash right from the start, and after getting off on the wrong foot, their explosive relationship takes a turn.

YouTube or GagaOOLala. the show doesn’t have a happy ending, but it can be a happy ending for you if you stop watching at episode 24 timestamp 05:00. OR watch the full thing and look at this post after

5. The Spirealm inside of a video game; mystery; fantasy; horror-ish; hopeful ending

A game designer Lin Qiushi is transported inside of a game he recently played, and now he must go through 12 horrifying survivor game doors to survive in the real world. Inside his first door he meets Ruan Nanzhu, a mysterious man who offers him to team up.

The show was taken down from streaming, download files here and subtitles here.

Various WLW mini web-dramas here.

Various WLW short films here.

South Korea 🇰🇷 (full list here)

1. Love for Love's Sake inside of a video game; high school setting; healing

At the age of 29 Tae Myungha finds himself transported into a fictional video game, and now 19 years old, he meets Cha Yeowoon, who is in the darkest moment of his life. And a translucent window appears where he receives a mission — to make Cha Yeowoon happy.

iQIYI (better subtitles) or GagaOOLala

2. Semantic Error enemies to lovers; university setting

A serious programmer and a rebellious artist clash over a school project. Their animosity keeps escalating to new extremes, defined by petty pranks and feisty arguments.

Viki

3. Love Tractor farm setting; farmer/city musician

Sunyeol, a city man with zero ability to survive in the countryside, comes to his grandfather's rural home. In front of him appears Yechan, a passionate and kind young farmer. While learning about rural life and assisting with farming tasks, Sunyeol gradually finds himself drawn to Yechan's warm and straightforward nature, while Yechan helplessly falls for Sunyeol.

iQIYI

4. Our Dating Sim high school friends to lovers; office setting

After 7 years, Lee Wan meets his first love, Shin Kitae, in a gaming company. When they were best friends in high school, Lee Wan was in love with Kitae. But he ran away and disappeared after confessing his feelings to Kitae after graduation. When the two of them begin working on a new dating simulation game and get more immersed in the project, old feelings are rekindled.

Viki or GagaOOLala

5. She Makes My Heart Flutter wlw; bar setting; niece and aunt dynamic

The extroverted Gang Seol is hired by her aunt Jung at her only-women bar. Even though they are both lesbians, they seem to be worlds apart and have very different love stories.

YouTube

> more tv shows from South Korea

Taiwan 🇹🇼 (full list here)

1. History3: Trapped mafia boss/policeman

The story of a police officer who becomes trapped in the underworld, as he develops feelings for a gang leader.

YouTube or Viki

2. Kiseki: Dear to Me mafia; age gap

Bai Zongyi, an exemplary high school student with dreams of becoming a doctor, is one day unexpectedly drawn into the world of a charismatic and mischievous gangster Fan Zerui, who blackmails him into taking him in and treating his wounds. Just as their love story begins to unfold, Fan Ze Rui's criminal life catches up with him. On the other hand, Chen Yi and Ai Di are two orphans who grew up in the gang together. Ai Di has always loved Chen Yi, but Chen Yi only notices their boss.

Viki or GagaOOLala or YouTube

3. My Tooth Your Love dentist/chef; trauma healing

Bai Lang is a successful bistro owner with an severe fear of visiting the dentist... until a toothache forces him to come face to face with the handsome yet cold dentist Jin Xunan.

Viki

4. Anti Reset android/human

When Chu Yi Ping, an emotionless man, dislocates his hand in an accident at school, his uncle gives him Ever 9 as a caretaker, an experimental intelligent robot that his company is secretly testing.

Viki or iQIYI or GagaOOLala

5. History2: Crossing the Line sports; high school setting

When an injury sidelines a high school senior from the volleyball team, he develops feelings for a recruit.

YouTube or Viki

> more tv shows from Taiwan

Philippines 🇵🇭

1. Sleep With Me wlw; radio; disabled character in a wheelchair

A science textbook writer with a sleep disorder meets a wheelchair-using radio host who runs the midnight shift. This chance encounter at the radio station quickly sparks their interest in each other.

GagaOOLala

---

You can watch many shows for free on YouTube, and watch others on the streaming websites by setting VPN to one of the countries in the list. In other cases I recommend paying for subscriptions to show appreciation and support of content in order to get more of it in the future, but if you can’t, watch on KissKH (better quality), Dramacool or get files from MkvDrama. Enjoy!  🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[mggslover]

Unrequited love

In which reader has been haunted all her life by the ghost of unrequited love, always reminding her of everything she could never have. That is — until she met Spencer.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: angst x fluff x smut (18+) Content warnings: spoilers for s8e12, very angsty but no worries there's a happy ending Word count: 5,4k A/n: for anyone who can relate to not having their love reciprocated, I'm hoping you'll find your spencer reid soon

It’s stupid, really, to love someone so wholeheartedly. It’s even more stupid to expect them to love you back.

Never in your life had anyone reciprocated your love — hell, no one had even accepted it. Unrequited love was a burden that has clung to you all your life, a thread of rejection woven through the fabric of your earliest memories. 

You remember the moment clearly, when as a little girl you found your mother hunched over the dining room table, furiously wiping away tears she did not want you to see. You watched from afar, making sure she left the room when you tiptoed to the table, finding a piece of paper ripped out of a notebook. Your small finger traced the letters of the handwritten note. The words were jagged, some unfamiliar, making you skip them. You experienced a rush of pride and excitement when you could make out some words: leaving, sorry, woman, goodbye. It was the first time you’d read something that wasn’t written in the large colorful books Miss Abigail assigned in school. It wasn’t until a few days later, when your mother explained that your father wasn’t coming back, that the weight of the note fully sank in. From that moment on it felt like your fate was sealed. 

In middle school you had some friends, but when the moment came to pairing up for school trips, it was you being the one left out. You always had someone you would call your best friend, but you’d never be theirs. Someone always seemed to be better, more lovable, more wanted. 

In highschool, you got your first boyfriend, Timmy. You weren’t sure you loved him, but you wanted to be seen, to be noticed. So when he asked you out, you said yes. For a while, you reveled in the feeling of someone showing you off. That was until the day you overheard his friends, talking by the lockers.

“I swear, his tactic is working!” one of them said. “Jessica dumped James the second she saw Timmy walking hand in hand with Y/N through the hallways.” 

“Oh shit, man,” another friend laughed. “If I knew that, I also would’ve used a fake girlfriend to get to Hannah.” 

A fake girlfriend. The words echoed in your mind as you started to make sense of the situation. It suddenly clicked how Timmy only showed you off in public, only kissed you in the busy hallways, where people could see. It was never about you.

You decided to give love one more chance in university, but when a night that was supposed to be the first of many, ended in a one-night-stand and a “I’m sorry, but I don’t really see you that way”, you made yourself a vow: no more chasing love. You stopped giving your love to people who would never truly appreciate it, and instead, you gave that love to yourself. The library became your refuge, spending endless hours studying to give yourself the future you deserve. You passed your exams with flying colors and never forgot to reward yourself after every small victory. And when you landed a position at the BAU, making it as an FBI agent, you knew you made the right decision to never fall in love again. That was until you stepped into the office, and you saw him. Spencer Reid. 

—

“And this is doctor Spencer Reid,” your boss Hotchner introduced him with a nod. 

He was tall, awkward in the way only someone who was brilliant could be, but he smiled warmly as he waved a hand at you. “Hi.”

You smiled back and stuck out your hand instinctively. “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

He blinked at the gesture, looking uncomfortable. He swallowed, his voice uncertain. “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t like shaking hands.”

You tilted your head and laughed. “That’s totally fair. Do you know how many germs your hands carry?”

His eyes widened in surprise, as if no one had ever said that before. “I-I actually do! The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to-”

“Kiss?” you interrupted, a grin spreading across your face.

The words came out simultaneously, and you both laughed. A sound that felt... easy. Like something you hadn’t experienced before.

Someone you would later come to know as Morgan, who had been leaning against a desk, looked up at the two of you, eyebrows raised in disbelief as he shook his head. 

It was then you realized — there was something special about Spencer Reid. It was something unspoken, something more than just the intellectual connection. Before you even knew it, you had fallen in love.

—

You never confessed your feelings to Spencer, but you felt like there was an unspoken understanding between you. Every morning, you arrived at work with an oversweetened cup of coffee for him, and in return, he made sure you never went without your favorite sandwich from the shop around the corner, especially on days when you were too absorbed in a case to remember to eat. On your days off, you took each other on trips. Sometimes to a museum where you would explain the art in great detail, and he would pretend not to know any of the facts, just to hear you talk. Other times, you’d go to a movie screening, where he would simultaneously whisper translations of the foreign dialogue to you, making you giggle when his breath tickled your ear. You convinced yourself that this was what love was: understanding someone to the point of not needing words.

But how foolish were you to have forgotten about the shadow that lingered behind you, always ready to remind you of everything you could never have.

—

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N! Have you heard the news?” Penelope squealed in delight as she rushed toward you, the rhythmic click of her heels making a melody against the office floor. 

You glanced up from your desk, raising an eyebrow. “Based on the excitement, I’m going to assume you're not talking about the wildfires in California.”

“Oh no, no,” she said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m talking about big news. The juicy kind.”

You chuckled, leaning back in your chair as you sipped your tea. “Alright Pen, bring it on.”

Penelope’s grin widened. “Spencer has a girlfriend!” She yelped, hands flying to her mouth as she realized just how loud she’s gotten.

You blink as you try to process her words. “He finally adopted a cat?” 

Penelope shook her head vigorously. “Y/N, I mean a real girlfriend. An actual human being girlfriend!”

You scrunch your forehead, the words not quite connecting. “I don’t think I understand.”

Penelope leans in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Derek told me that Blake told him that Spencer’s been making calls... to a woman.” She glances around quickly, making sure no one can overhear. 

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your smile drops at the familiarity of the situation. Spencer had been leaving the bullpen often recently. You’d always assumed it was because he was still struggling with his headaches and didn’t want the team to get worried. Not in a million years would you have expected Spencer was seeing someone.

Penelope continues speaking, but her words fade into the background as your thoughts spiral. “Excuse me,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper as you push yourself out of your chair and rush to the bathroom.

Once inside, you lock the door behind you. Your chest tightens, the familiar weight of a panic attack settling in as if it had never left. Your breath comes short and shallow, the room spinning slightly as you grip the sink. The air feels thick, suffocating even. For the first time in years you find yourself back in this situation, fighting to breathe.

—

After a while, the whispers and giggles about Reid's love affair had died down. Still, it took Spencer some time to feel comfortable enough to share more about her — Maeve Donovan, the brilliant, lovely woman who had stolen his heart. As his best friend, you were the one he turned to, the one who had to endure all the little details of their intimate phone calls.

And you tried, you really did. You tried to be the supportive friend, even when each word about Maeve felt like a thorn in your chest. You’d joke, asking him if he was sure Maeve wasn’t some sixty-year-old man catfishing him, or teasing him about how it didn’t count as a relationship if you’d never actually met the person. The snark was the only way you could cope with the sinking feeling every time he smiled when her name came up, the way his eyes lit up when he spoke of her. But Spencer was oblivious to your remarks. No matter how hard you tried to plant seeds of doubt in his mind, it never seemed to have any effect.

It was a sad thing to admit, but on nights when anxiety kept you awake, you couldn’t help but wish for their relationship to end. You prayed for a chance to tell Spencer how you really felt. You convinced yourself there would be time, that everything was going well, and eventually you’d find the courage to speak up. But on nights like these, you deeply regret never having thought of the possibility of another girl realizing how incredible Spencer is, and making a move before you ever could. 

Those feelings of jealousy turned into big regret, when Spencer came bursting into the bullpen, panic and fear evident in his eyes. He was frantic, certain that Maeve had been kidnapped. His suspicions turned out to be tragically true, and your world crumbled the moment the gunshot rang out, taking Maeve from him. Your heart shattered into a thousand pieces as Spencer broke down in front of you, and you couldn’t even reach out to comfort him, believing it was you who caused this. That the ghost you knew as unrequited love, finally gave you what you wished for. 

You wanted to scream, to turn back time, to take back every selfish thought. But now wasn’t the time for regret. When Spencer locked himself in his apartment, unwilling to speak to anyone, you made it your mission to be there for him. You were the only person he let in, and when the door creaked open, you were struck by the sight of him — pale, hollow-eyed, and worn down in a way you’d never seen before. Without a word, he pulled you into a tight embrace. The two of you cried together, until his neighbor shouted at you both for the noise. From that moment on, you’d take Spencer to your apartment. Making sure he had a warm, homemade meal waiting for him as you’d binge Doctor Who episodes, trying to get him to smile even just a little. Slowly, he began to open up, the weight of his grief pouring out in quiet conversations. And you made sure you listened to every word as you held him close, offering whatever comfort you could.

As the weeks passed by, the weight of the situation was becoming overwhelming. It wasn’t easy hearing the love of your life talk about another woman. The way he spoke about her, like she meant more to him after just a couple of months than you ever did in all the years you stood by his side. It was almost too much to bear. When you overheard a moment between Reid and JJ, where Spencer mentioned how he would’ve had kids if it weren’t for Maeve dying, you realized you couldn’t keep going like this. You needed time to process what you were feeling, to grieve what you’d lost — even if it wasn’t really yours to begin with. So, you called in sick for the next case. Hoping you could clear your mind, while the team was out of state.

—

So here you were, experiencing heartbreak like all those times before — rotting on the couch with a pint of ice cream as you watched reruns of Love Island. 

You jumped when a loud banging echoed from the front door. Your surprise faded as quickly as it came, knowing there was only one person that would bother you this late an hour. 

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Open up!” Spencer’s voice rang out, firm and insistent.

With a sigh, you shuffled to the front door, trying to steady yourself before facing him. The moment you opened the door, you were met with Spencer, brows furrowed in concern and annoyance.

“Where were you? You didn’t show up on the jet, and you’re never late,” he said, brushing past you to step inside.

“Sure, let yourself in,” you muttered under your breath, closing the door behind him. “I wasn’t feeling well, had a headache,” you replied, keeping your tone casual.

Spencer paused, taking a quick glance around the room. His eyes landed on the TV blaring in the background and the half-empty pint of ice cream on the coffee table. He turned back to you, eyebrows raised.

“Your TV is on full blast, and you’re eating ice cream,” he said, his tone skeptical, clearly aware of your lie.

You sighed, shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry, I just needed a break.” 

“A break?” He scoffed. “You never take breaks. We practically had to force you to stay home when you got shot. You’re always there, no matter what. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

As much as you appreciated hearing that he needed you, this wasn’t the time to feel flattered by it. “Spencer, I know,” you started, your voice taut with frustration. “I just had my own things to worry about.”

“What things?” He stepped closer, his tone rising. “What could be more important than your work? Then being there for a friend when he needs you?” It was obvious how upset he was. “I was worried about you,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly. “I called you every day, and you didn’t pick up.”

His words hit harder than you expected, and a bitter laugh escaped before you could stop it. “What about me, Spencer?” you snapped. “Have you ever thought about me needing a break? Or am I not important enough for that?”

“Oh, please.” His voice dripped with disbelief. “You’ve always been there for me, but suddenly you can’t pick up your phone because you need time for yourself?”

“God, you’re such an ass,” you shot back, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

“Me? I’m the ass?” His voice pitched higher, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“Yes, Spencer! I told you I wasn’t feeling good. I needed time off.”

“You could’ve just picked up the damn phone!” he yelled, his voice cracking with emotion. “Do you even realize how worried I was?”

“It sounds like you were more worried about yourself than me,” you countered, your tone icy.

His face twisted in frustration, but then his shoulders sagged. “Is that what you think?” He asked quietly, his voice trembling. “I was worried about you. Can you even imagine what it was like for me to call and get no answer?”

You swallowed. For a split second your mind drifted to Maeve, thinking that he might’ve felt the same fear as when she didn’t pick up the phone. You quickly put the thought away, he didn’t care about you like that.

“If you’d just asked Hotch, you would’ve gotten an answer right away,” you said defensively, crossing your arms to shield yourself.

“Oh, so Hotch knew?” His tone turned bitter, his eyes narrowing.

“Of course, Spencer. He’s my boss!”

“And I am your friend! I always tell you everything before I let anyone else know.”

You rolled your eyes, frustration taking over. “Well, that’s on you. Just because you feel the need to bother everyone with your problems doesn’t mean I have to do the same.”

The instant regret was written all over your face as the words left your mouth. Spencer’s expression shifted, looking completely stunned.

“Spencer, I didn’t mean-”

But the damage was done. His shoulders stiffened, his jaw tightening as he looked away.

“Please, Spence, I swear I didn’t mean it like that,” you said softly, your voice trembling as you reached out to him, but he instinctively stepped back.

“Spencer, I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, your voice cracking. “I don’t know why I said that.”

He shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Oh, but you said it. And you meant it.” His voice was quieter now, but somehow it felt heavier. The anger in his eyes had faded, replaced with something worse: disappointment.

“Spencer,” you whispered, the sound barely audible, terrified to say anything else that could upset him.

He looked down, his shoulders sagging as he exhaled shakily. When he finally looked back at you, his expression had softened slightly, though the hurt still lingered in his eyes. “Do you really think I’m someone who bothers people with my problems?” he asked, his voice raw with vulnerability.

“No!” you said quickly, the desperation clear in your tone. “I don’t know why I said that. I don’t think that at all. I’m so glad you opened up to me and trusted me with your feelings.”

“And yet…” he trailed off, rubbing his temples in frustration. “You ignored my calls. You avoided me. And then you said that. Jesus.” His hands fell to his sides as he let out a tired sigh, his exhaustion etched into every feature.

“Spencer,” you started, but he interrupted. “I don’t understand,” he said, looking at you like he was searching for answers he couldn’t find. “If you’re glad I talk to you about my feelings, why did you shut me out?”

You swallowed hard, the weight of his question bearing down on you. “It’s just… a lot to handle, Spence,” you admitted. “I’m not a therapist. I don’t know how to deal with these feelings. I want to be there for you, I really do, but it takes a toll on me too.”

“It takes a toll on you too?” His voice rose, and you cursed yourself for triggering another outburst without meaning to. “I’m the one with ‘the problem’. I’m the one with the dead girlfriend! All you had to do was be there for me when I needed you.”

You exhaled heavily. “I’m getting a drink,” you muttered as you made your way over to the kitchen. Spencer followed behind you, not willing to give up yet.

“Of course,” Spencer said, with a sarcastic edge. “Grab a drink. That’ll fix everything.”

Ignoring him, you grabbed a glass and poured a generous amount of whiskey. You raised it to your lips, savoring the burn as you swallowed.

He crossed his arms, watching you with a raised eyebrow. “You know what? Go ahead. Keep ignoring the problem. That’s what you’re good at, right? Avoiding things.” He said, his tone filled with hurt. 

Your hand trembled slightly as you set the glass down. “I know you don’t believe me,” you said, voice shaking, “but I am trying.”

“Trying?” Spencer’s laugh was humorless. “You didn’t even call me. You just disappeared. I needed you, and you left. What kind of ‘trying’ is that?”

“God, Spencer, I didn’t want to avoid you. I wanted to pick up the phone, to explain everything, but I couldn’t. I knew I’d just hurt you more, and I couldn’t-” Your voice broke against your will. “I couldn’t risk ruining all the progress you’ve made.”

Spencer’s expression softened, his furrowed brow easing as confusion replaced his anger. “You’re not protecting me by keeping whatever it is that’s bothering you to yourself. You’re hurting me even more by shutting me out. I want to be able to help you when you’re struggling, Y/N.”

Your throat tightened, tears threatening to spill. You bit your lip, trying to hold your words in.

“Please,” he whispered, his hand gently taking yours. “Let me in. Let me help you like you’ve helped me.” 

You stared at him, your chest aching. How could you possibly tell him? How could you burden him with this truth when he was already carrying so much? But the way he looked at you, so desperate — it broke something inside you.

The words escaped before you could stop them. “I’m in love with you.”

Spencer froze, his heart skipping a beat as he loosened his grip on your hand, making you regret speaking up.

“You.. you’re in love with me?” He asked, his voice a mix of surprise and disbelief.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, guilt twisting in your chest.

He stared at you in silence, his gaze unreadable as he processed your words. After a long pause, he spoke up. “You’re sorry?”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you nodded. “I’m an awful friend,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

“No, no, no,” Spencer said quickly, stepping closer. His heart ached as he reached up to gently cup your face, brushing away your tears with his thumbs, hating to see you cry. “You are not an awful friend — you’re wonderful.”

“Don’t say that,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m not wonderful, Spencer. I listened to you grieve every night, and still I felt jealous because she got your love, even if it was just for a second.”

His eyes widened. “Jealous?” he asked softly. “You were jealous of Maeve?”

You cringed at his words, shame tightening your chest. “I know, it’s disgusting. I get it if you never want to see me again.”

“Is that what you think? That I’d stop wanting to see you?” He shook his head. “How can you think I’d judge you for having feelings for me?”

“Because I blame myself, Spencer!” you cried. “I should’ve been happy for you, but I wasn’t. And now she’s gone, and I feel like it’s my fault.”

He closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight embrace. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for any of that. You didn’t make any of those things happen,” he reassured. “They were just… they were just an unfortunate turn of events. You didn’t have any control over it.” He held you tightly against him, trying to comfort you as his heart ached. 

“You shouldn’t touch me,” you sniffled, but you weren’t able to pull yourself away, needing his touch.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt your face up to meet his eyes. “I should touch you,” he said firmly. “I should hold you, and comfort you, and be there for you. Because that’s what friends do. That’s what I want to do.”

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice quivering with emotion. “I did feel jealous, but please, don’t think for a second that I didn’t care. I’d do anything to bring her back.”

“I know you care,” he murmured into your hair. “I know you do. That’s why I could never think of you as a bad friend.”

You cried against his chest, the weight of everything finally crashing down. His arms tightened around you, his hold warm and grounding. “It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve got you.”

You shook your head. “You shouldn’t be the one comforting me.”

“Yes, I should,” he said. His arms didn’t loosen, holding you as if he feared you’d vanish if he let go. “Your feelings matter. Your happiness matters. I don’t want you putting yourself aside for my sake.”

Something in his tone gave you the courage to lift your gaze. His eyes met yours, searching, filled with an emotion you hadn’t dared to hope for. Slowly, he reached out, his thumb brushing against your tear-streaked cheek with a gentleness that made your chest ache. 

“I mean it,” he said, his voice firm. “You matter to me, more than you probably realize.”

You leaned into his touch instinctively, the warmth of his hand calming you. “You can still talk to me,” you said quietly. “I just… I needed a break. But we can still have our talks.”

He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I know. And I’ll take you up on that.” 

His hand remained on your face as he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a tender murmur. “I care about you. I always have, and I always will.”

The proximity was impossible to ignore as his thumb traced slow, soft circles on your cheek, his eyes locked on yours. “I’m sorry,” he began, his voice quiet and pained, “for not realizing sooner how you felt about me.”

“It’s fine, Spence,” you replied, lifting your shoulders. “I should’ve been more obvious.”

He let out a quiet sigh, his heart heavy with remorse. “You were, I should’ve known. Penelope and JJ never treated me the way you did.” He admitted. “I wasted so much time. I could have had you, but I was too blind to see it.”

“You… you would want to be with me?” you asked, surprise noticeable in your voice.

His eyes softened, his expression filled with disbelief. “Of course I would. How could I not? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re beautiful...” His voice dropped to a tender hum. “You’re everything.” 

You looked away, as doubt crept in. “You’re just confused,” you said. “I gave you a lot to process all at once.”

“I’m not confused,” he said steadily, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Not about this. I know how I feel. I know that it’s you that I want.”

Your heart ached at how convincing he sounded, but you couldn’t stop your uncertainty. “You’re not over her, Spence.”

The mention of Maeve made him swallow, his gaze flicked downward for a moment. “I know,” he said quietly, as he looked up at you. “I know I’m not completely over her. I may never be. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Tears welled in your eyes. “It doesn’t feel fair,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve wanted you for so long. It doesn’t feel fair that I get to have you now.”

Spencer gently pulled you closer, the simple comfort of having you in his arms overwhelming. “You deserve everything, Y/N. You’ve been there for me through everything. You’re one of the most selfless, most loyal, most caring people I know.” 

The warmth in his gaze, the tenderness in his touch, made it impossible to look away.

“I need you,” he said, his voice a raw confession. “Not talking to you these past days was torture. I can’t do this without you. I need you in my life, Y/N. Not just as a friend.” He paused, his voice softening. “You deserve to be loved, please let me be the one to do that.”

You felt your breath catch, not finding the words to express how you’re feeling. “Can I kiss you?”

His lips parted in surprise, but his eyes softened, filling with an emotion that made your chest ache. He nodded, “Yes. Please.”

His hands were warm against your cheeks as he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was everything — urgent, raw, and filled with years of unspoken longing. A soft, desperate sound escaped your throat, conveying all the need you’d kept bottled up for so long. Spencer seemed to feel it, deepening the kiss as his fingers threaded into your hair, afraid you might slip away.

He effortlessly lifted you onto the kitchen counter, his body fitting perfectly between your legs as you wrapped them tightly around his waist. The closeness wasn’t enough to satisfy your need. Your fingers found his tie, fumbling to loosen it before letting it fall to the floor.

As you moved to the buttons of his shirt, Spencer groaned softly against your lips, the vibration sending shivers down your spine. The moment your hands met his bare skin, his breath hitched, and his grip on your hips tightened. The heat of his body was intoxicating, and every inch of him seemed to respond to your touch.

“God, Y/N…” he murmured against your lips, his voice rough and filled with desire. His forehead rested briefly against yours, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he caught his breath. But his hands never stopped, sliding down your sides and pulling you even closer.

You continued your exploration, your fingertips tracing the planes of his chest and shoulders as if trying to memorize him. 

You’d always imagined taking your time when this moment finally came — savoring every touch, every kiss. But now that it was happening, you couldn’t stop the rush coursing through you. The need to feel him everywhere, to prove that this was real.

“Spencer, please,” you whimpered against his mouth, your voice filled with desperation.

“I know, sweet girl,” he murmured, knowing exactly what you needed. His hands slid down to your thighs, gently parting them to make room for himself. The warmth of his touch had you gasping, and you let out a quiet cry of relief as his fingers moved to his belt, the soft clink of the buckle filling the air.

You didn’t want to waste any time, tugging your pants down your legs in a frenzy, eager to meet him halfway. Spencer’s gaze flickered to yours, his eyes dark with need, and in an instant, his mouth was on yours again.

His kiss was hungry, consuming. One hand gripped your waist, holding himself steady, while the other hooked beneath your leg, lifting it effortlessly to pull you closer. The heat between you is overwhelming, every touch igniting yet another spark. 

You threw your head back as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your wet folds. A soft gasp escaped your lips, your mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as he slowly pushed into you, the stretch intoxicating. Your fingers gripped his back as you sunk your nails into his skin.

The sharp bite of pain drew a low, guttural groan from him, his face buried in the curve of your neck. His breath was hot against you as he murmured your name like a prayer.

“I wish we’d done this sooner,” you gasped, as he began to move, his hips rolling into yours. 

His breath hitched at your words, and he pressed a soft kiss to your jawline. “I know, baby,” he mumbled. “We’ll make up for it,”

A soft giggle escaped you, but it was quickly swallowed by a moan as his pace quickened. 

“Oh, Spence… I’m already close,” you confessed, never having reached an orgasm this fast.

“Thank God,” he groaned, his voice rough with desperation, as his grip on your hips tightened. He guided you to meet his thrusts, the intensity of his movements growing erratic, overwhelmed by pleasure. 

Unable to resist, you cupped his face, pulling him into an open-mouthed kiss as you moaned and gasped for breath. 

Your walls clenched around him, drawing a string of desperate whimpers from your lips as your head fell back. Spencer took full advantage of your exposed neck, sucking and biting on the skin, claiming you. His thrusts grew deeper, determined to hit the spot that made you cry out in pleasure.

His low, breathy moans filled the air, and you could tell he was close. Your legs began to shake around him, and as if perfectly in sync, your release crashed over you just as he shuddered and spilled into you.

“I love you,” you gasped, the words leaving your lips over and over as your orgasm rushed through you. Tears streamed down your face, blurring your vision. You couldn’t tell if it was the sheer intensity of the feeling or the flood of emotions you’d been bottling up for so long, but what you did know is that you meant every word.

Spencer stayed close, his breaths uneven as he gently rocked into you, drawing out the shared high. Slowly, he pulled back just enough to brush your hair out of your tear-streaked face. His eyes locked onto yours, and it felt like he truly saw you — every part of you.

A soft smile tugged at his lips as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“I love you too.”

[tender-rosiey]

How do you think sukuna would act with a baby girl?? The same as his son? Maybe a bit more soft since he reminds him of reader?

troublesome — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: i have something else in store for geto <3

sukuna never planned on becoming a parent, but then you became pregnant. he had two choices: kill the kid from now or let you give birth to it.

he spent a good couple of days deciding on what to do, until he finally made his mind and headed to your room, swiftly. there you were in all your glory, eyes snapping to your husband the moment he entered.

you smiled, standing up, “hey, sukuna.” then walked to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

he, however, said nothing and simply kept staring you down then he said a simple phrase, “the kid.”

your eyes widened, your thoughts jumbled, and your nerves were all over the place. still, you manage to get out a response, “what about it?”

he stayed silent, and it drove you over the edge. you needed him to say something—anything. will he let you have it, or will he kill it? he was never fond of kids, always killed them first in his raids. will your own child with him bear the same fate as the others he had slaughtered and even eaten?

is this a joke from the universe? you married the king of curses, and, therefore, your punishment is never getting to experience the joy of having kids? but even if he does end up choosing wanting to kill it, how will he—

“I will let you keep it.”

you never thought a simple sentence would induce so much happiness in you. you cup his face and  start showering him in kisses, and you unceasingly thank him, “thank you, sukuna! thank you so much!”

he grunts, hand resting on your waist, “just don’t cause me trouble, and it better be a boy.” he takes hold of your chin and makes you lock eyes with him, “I don’t want a whiny, slimy little girl.”

and because the world loves him so much, he was indeed graced with a whiny, slimy little girl.

the moment the woman announced that it’s a girl, your face paled, and your husband’s frown could’ve never been deeper. his eyes traced every action that happened from the cleaning of the baby to the little girl being nestled cozily in your arms.

she starts calming down when she feels the warmth of your skin against her own. slowly, her breathing evens out, and she falls into a deep slumber.

the servants rush out of the room, leaving you, your husband, and your newborn daughter.

you don’t know what to do: do you speak first or do you wait for him to do it? you keep searching his face for any positive emotion, something that would give you hope and make you forget about his sharp scowl.

he puts a hand out and orders, “hand her to me.”

your heart fell to your stomach. there’s nothing you could do. whatever he decided on was what will happen. you desperately wanted to hold her for a bit longer and to feel her comforting weight in your arms.

though, your husband got impatient, eyes sharply looking you in the eyes, and he glowered, “y/n.”

despite your heart screaming and trying to resist ever letting him touch a single hair on your baby, you shakily put her in his hand. she starts huffing, puffing, and squirming in his hold. fearing the worst, you squeezed your eyes shut.

you simply won’t be able to take witnessing your daughter’s slaughter with your very own eyes.

you expect to hear a slash, a little thud, but you’re met with nothing, just a groan from your husband as he mutters, “she is small.”

you blink owlishly then stare at him. he is slowly raising and lowering the hand—an attempt to rock her maybe—that has your baby in it. then, he situates her against his chest.

he looks up to you and states, “she is also ugly.”

frowning, you retort, “that’s because of your genes.”

your husband quirks an eyebrow, “you’re balantly insulting me even after I spared it?”

“her.”

“same difference.”

sukuna shuffles until he is seated beside you and silently pulls you into his embrace.

you just took notice of how he is trying to avoid touching her with his nails and how his hold on her is rather gentle. the little girl lets out a small sigh then snuggles into his chest. her dad copies her with a sigh of his own then he grunts, “not a single word.”

a small giddy giggle escapes you, and you nuzzle into his chest in turn. he squeezes you lightly, before scoffing, “or a sound.”

later on that day, after you were transferred into the master bedroom along with your daughter, you’re left to rest in the expansive bed with your daughter napping in the crib right under the window.

you thought the light might give her some sort of comfort—call it a mother’s instinct. you wanted her to grow up in the light, not to be sheltered and hidden in shadows. who knows if these shadows will devour whole or not.

but you will try your best to provide her with a normal life.

as you start to drift off to sleep, you take note of a large figure standing in front of the window. he is blocking the light from sky—at least the one from the window above her crib. quickly, you are able to define its features and identify that it’s—thank god—your husband.

he has this sort of contemplating look on his face, a solemn look, maybe a bit troubled too. he keeps staring at the sleeping baby as she takes small and slow breaths.

she is fragile, he knows. he also knows that a flick of his finger will end her right then and there.

but he finds his hand only capable of gently caressing her cheek, and a wave of shock is sent through him when his daughter leans toward his touch. his daughter. he heaves a sigh and a frown is etched onto his face.

this is going to be a troublesome journey.

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