#but theres a line SOMEWHERE out there (wait i think i know where) about how like

[straykats]

screaming crying throwing up bc online friends are so weird like why cant i hug u guys this is so stupid

[panchulien]

So that using Price as leverage idea against Nik.

Would Nik’s captors also kidnap Price or simply just threaten to do so?

Would they keep Price somewhere separate so Nik couldn’t speak to him or would they just threaten to shoot Price in front of him?

When would Nik crack?

ooh it could go in a lot of ways and they're all so good i can't choose 😵‍💫

But, if you want Nikolai to break, let's go with both of them being captured. It's Nik they want, it's information that only he has. (C'mon, with the things that guy has been through, I'm sure SOMEONE out there wants this man dead/captured lol) So the only way to get to him is by Captain Price.

I think if they simply just "threatened" to harm Price while he's not there, Nikolai wouldn't budge. Its nothing new, he sees through their bluff, he knows by the time they get to John, John and the boys would already be alert. (seeing as Nikolai is missing)

Now, where to keep Price. I feel like it wouldn't be their first time dealing with something like this (being captured), and they both trust the others ability to make it out of there soon. That is, considering they're separate. Because John's also tough to crack, he wouldn't make it easy on them.

But put a bloody and bruised John Price in front of Nikolai, and that's when shit gets serious. This man has endured all sorts of torture before, but this is by far the worst. The one thing he values the most in this world, right there in front of him, being threatened.

Price knows this, he can't do anything about it but beg Nikolai not to say anything. There is too much on the line, too risky. He doesn't care what happens to him so long as the captors don't win. Maybe he can't speak, maybe he can, but he's still begging Nikolai not to say a word.

Nikolai on the other hand lost all rational thinking the moment they brought Price into the room. He can't think straight, his head is ringing, heart pounding. It breaks Prices heart to see the man in such a state. He's bruised up also, but the sheer look of terror on his face when Price enters the room is something he'll never forget. Nikolai is seething. How dare they take something so beautiful and ruin it. Nobody touches the Captain.

If he was by himself, he'd already be on his way home. But now he's got nothing. No escape plans, no tricks up his sleeve. There is Price's life on the line and his only hope is the 141 finding them soon. He doesn't doubt they're searching, he just prays they make it quick.

So.. he'd maybe resist at first. Coming back with smart replies, trying to negotiate. Eyes flickering between the men and Price, who's currently on the floor, blood dripping from his head. Trying to stall, just enough to not let anything out before the boys arrive. But each passing minute his hope wears thin, with each blow Price takes his heart stops. He can't do anything but watch. And when exactly does he break? The moment the muzzle touches Prices head, the world stops spinning.

For the first time since he arrived there, his tough guy act drops, his voice cracks as he shouts, "Wait... Please." Theres a click from the gun.

Price barely looks up at him, trying to stay focused and not pass out, voice hoarse as he whispers; "Nik.. Don't."

Nikolai's reasoning is long gone, he just begs them. "I'll tell you. I will! Just.. put the gun down."

Nikolai's tears stained face and horrified expression is the last thing Price sees before a gun hits the back of his head and knocks him out cold.

[shoezuki]

Dya have any more headcanons for sampard?

Maybe ideas on how they fell for one another. Would you see it as an X fell first but Y fell harder or a flirting for fun but realising you've caught feelings?

Or have ya got an entirely different view on it! :D Oooooo. Do you perhaps have a timeline for how they traverse the "enemies" to friends to lovers stages.

Can you tell I love all your ideas and headcanons T-T

thankyou anon i am ghglg. im in love w u now. yes i have Many Ideas bout these two bastards like i have so many thoughts you cannot believe. like i have a post drafted where i write hcs when im bored and headin to class lkshglhg. heres some hcs

sampo falls in love first. very, very early in when he is new to the planet and is just drawing the attention of the silvermanes. It's not exactly some 'love at first sight' thing its more like the first time gep almost catches him sampo thinks 'oh he's cute' and a few times after that he's like 'wait im enjoying this. a lot.' and its downhill from there

whether sampo Realizes it is another thing tho. i can see him just enjoying the attention and thrill of evading the silvermanes and not realizing his disappointment when gepard isnt there is cuz hes infatuated w gepard.

but he Would realize it. at some point itd hit him like. why he enjoys the chase so much n lets himself Almost get caught. why hes memorized gep's schedule and where he patrols the most. and it hits him n hes like 'oh fuck. what the fuck. holy shit.... well anyways.'

(probably freaks out to seele over drinks but he's too incomprehensible through his tears n she has no clue what hes whining about)

Sampo flirts and teases gepard unabashedly, kisses grenades before throwing them into gep's arms, saying 'woah youre so strong geppie' while gep punches the wall behind him narrowly missing his face, leaves notes with lipstick marks on em at crime scenes, all that stuff.

but for sampo. it isnt supposed to actually Go anywhere. he knows he likes gepard more than he should and its kinda just to scratch that itch in his heart yknow.

sampo very much thinks that. gepard is the captain of the silvermanes, a wellknown and noble person in belobog, and sampo's a slimy secretive conman that just enjoys pushing the captains buttons. theres no hope for anything more so he might as well enjoy flustering the captain right?

gepard on the other hand. doesnt allow himself to really think of sampo as anything else but a criminal. it takes a long Long time for him to realize he even feels anythin for him

gepard does look forward to trying to bust sampo, though, in a sort of frustrated way. sometimes the front lines or patrols are so monotonous and sampo's tendency to appear whenever gep's bored out of his mind is impressive

he is insistant on arresting sampo and 'bringing him to justice' to an obsessive degree, though. he's not even typically assigned to investigating criminal cases but he has basically inserted himself into bein the lead investigator of any sampo related case now

(intelligence officers and detectives and other silvermane's are so used to it now. they could be investigating a house fire or a break in, find a note with lipstick marks on it and curly writing, and they all just sigh and call gepard.)

sometimes other worry that his insistence on arresting sampo and how dedicated to it is concerning. they ask why he hates sampo so much n he just says 'hes the most prolific criminal in belobog and needs to be apprehended'

(he cant say he hates him, though. for some reason. he cant figure out why he thinks about sampo so much. he just figures its to arrest him)

gep finds himself starting to relax when sampo sends him on wild goose chases n they both leave other guards in the dust. its probably not intentional, how sampo always seems to draw him away to somewhere quiet and secluded when his head is killing him or he's stressed or exhausted.

(its intentional)

sampo falls first, but gepard is absolutely the one who initiates.

i imagine it'd take... something for gepard to reconsider sampo and let himself think about sampo outside of his criminal record

during a chase out in the snow plains, just sampo laughing and taunting him as gep tries to hunt him down, they get bombarded by fragmentum monsters

sampo holds his own; he fights with a sort of viciousness gep has never seen from him. his bombs arent just smoke, but powerful explosives that shatter fragmentum. he's insanely fast and doesnt even break a sweat. but as soon as theyre all dead he pretends he's exhausted and that gep needs to carry him back to the city before giggling and vanishing.

gepard realizes that this whole time sampo has been holding back. he realizes that sampo could easily cut through the silvermanes, use his lethal bombs or easily outpace gepard and outrun him.

he starts thinking about other things sampo does; how natasha mentions he delivers medicine to him, how lynx sometimes talks about finding supplies and food in hidden ruins and obvious places around her camp, or the notes sampo leaves and how they sometimes give hidden hints about other criminal operations the silvermanes have been tryin to investigate.

he doesnt know what to make of it, what sampo wants or why he's doing this. the next time sampo sends him running through abandoned streets in belobog he slows down, realizes that sampo also slows to his pace so gepard keeps chasing him.

gepard asks point blank at some point, what in the hell sampo wants from him, why he's doing this. sampo doesnt know how to answer. just shrugs and says hes just trying to have some fun.

from then on gepard and sampo's 'chases' tend to... dissolve. sometimes gepard just sits down and takes a moment to forget about being the captain, to relax. Sampo acts like a skittish, stray cat who's ready to bolt until he eventually relaxes as sits by gepard too.

gepard collects all sampo's notes, all the fragments of his bombs with the hearts painted on metal shells, and keeps them as 'evidence' in his desk.

sampo pushes his luck constantly; as soon as gepard relaxes or gives him any room to get closer, he takes and takes as much as he can get.

gepard catches sampo, entirely on accident, when he's off duty. climbing out of a window or something. and sampo freezes but gepard just says 'hey i'm not working now, i can't arrest you.'

(they both know it's a lie. being out of uniform never stopped gepard before.)

sampo starts just appearing more and more around gepard when he's off duty, showing up walking alongside him like he's been there the whole time, or just 'passing by' when gep is in the florist's shop.

gepard leaves his window open. sampo takes the invitation and crawls in and strange hours when gepard cant sleep. he just sits on the couch or a chair or stands there like he is a foreign intruder. gepard just nods and makes him some tea.

when it would hit gepard, that he's in love with sampo and has been for a while, he'd just blurt it out. 'huh. i think ive fallen in love with you'. and sampo would erupt into flames and kiss him so hard his lips bruise

[scremogirl]

✧✩🜚𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐂 🜸𖤐✰

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

Malleus realizing he has a crush on you pt. 2

Slight ☹︎. Leona takes the L. Theres not much I have to say this time. Make sure to read the note at the end. Make sure to read the first part here Enjoy loves!

“Do you like them?”

Huh?

“Do. You. Like. Them. It is a very straight forward statement, is it not, Kingscholar?”

Now, Malleus has never been one for confrontation. His tone has a certain edge to it, not that he means to of course; it’s just when Leona sits there with that dumb look of confusion and flusteredness on his face, he feels like he’s wasting his time.

“Why would you ask me something like that!?”

“It's quite simple to understand is it not? I have feelings for them; and if you do too, then well… it’ll cause a…problem,” Leona looks at him incredulously at the accusation. He’s a little stunned that Malleus is so open with his feelings. Especially that he’s talking to himself of all people. The snippy little tone he’s using is what’s throwing him off.

“Even if I did I wouldn’t tell you,” says the prince rolling his eyes, voice gruff with irritation. Malleus sighs realizing his approach was just a little hostile. He won’t continue to argue so he tries to get back on topic.

“I apologize. Maybe my approach was a little strong,”

“Ya think?” Malleus glares.

“*sigh* Look. I have feelings for the prefect and am planning to confess to them at the school's fair. I want to know how you feel so there aren't any problems in the future,” Leona doesn’t know what to say. Who couldn’t find you cute. I mean, with your smile and that dumb little laugh, how you always check on him, how you bring him food when he hasn’t eaten, how-… damn. Leona’s a respectable guy, his honor and pride mean the most to him. So, the fact Malleus is being so willing to speak about this man to man, knowing the way he feels about him, makes Leona respect his fellow prince a little more.

Leona’s not dumb. Yes, he’s a bit lazy but he’s not dense. He’s been keeping a keen eye on you and Malleus’s relationship. At first he was jealous, envious even. Malleus could have anything he wants, so why take the one thing Leona feels like is his own. Always being second place he felt like he deserved this. That was until the other day.

You two were in your usual spot; the botanical garden. It was late and you two were just there enjoying each other's company. Looking up through the glass, waiting for the starts to come, he thought this was the perfect time to confess. He wanted to take his shot before it was too late but little did he know, his time had already run out.

“Do you believe in true love?” …?

“Do. You. Believe in. True love,” The question catches him guard , where is this coming from?

“Uh, no? I don’t know. All that “fate” bullcrap is just what people tell themselves to make them feel more secure in a relationship. It’s a bunch of bologne if you ask me… which you are,” you just hum still keeping your gaze on the stars. He’s about to ask why but again, you cut him off.

“I’m not sure I believe in it either,” so why ask what he thinks?

“It’s just… sometimes I think that maybe there’s one person out there just for me. That the universe tied a little red string around are hearts pulling us close together little by little,” you look down to your feet with a shy, soluem smile, lips pursed together in a tight line. It doesn’t reach your eyes but they do hold a softest in them as they narrow just a little. He thinks you look beautiful he wants to scream it to you, but something tells him you’re going somewhere with this so he doesn’t interrupt.

“I know it’s dumb, trust me I do. But…”

“But what?” You avoid his question. You shift your gaze back up to him this time. Green eyes meeting yours in a silent staring contest. You blink first.

“Do you… do you like me?”

Huh?

“What?!” He raises his voice a bit, tone is mixed with surprise and exasperation. He sits up straighter, eyes widening a bit. Hands that were stabilizing him earlier come up and his formerly sprawled out legs are tucked behind him so he can face you.

Yes. yes he does

“N-No! What would make you think that!?” This is the whole reason why he invited you here. Did you find out? How did you know? Did Ruggy tell you? Maybe Jack? All these questions running through his mind and you just giggle that stupid giggle of yours.

“No, silly, that’s not what I meant,”

“Then why not clarify that before!” Again you just giggle.

“What I meant to say is… well… do you think I’m attractive? Do you think I could find someone even if I’m so different from everyone else here?”

“Do you…do you think I could find true love?” He stares at you for a while unblinking until he returns to his original position, heaving a big sigh along the way.

“Yea, why not. Even if I don’t believe in fate stuff; I know you if all people could find someone. Your too sweet for your own good, just make sure no ever takes advantage of that,”

“Thanks, Leona,” your smile reaches you eyes this time. Your reach up to rub at his ears teasingly to lower the somewhat awkward tension. He just bats your hand away with a light blush.

“Yea… no problem,” again you two ease back into that comfortable silence. Now’s the time.

“(Y/n), I-“

“Child of a Man?” What’s with everyone cutting him off?! Who's that anyways… goddamnit not him… not Mal-

“Malleus!” You hop up to your feet rushing over to him with an even more genuine smile from the one you gave him not too long ago.

“Hello, (Y/n); Kingscholar,” he just huffed, why did he decide to come now?

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” …yes you did.

“It’s alright Mal, what is it?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come to the garden with me, but as I see, you are busy,”

“I’m sorry, Mal. Maybe next ti-“

“Just go” It was his time to cut someone of this time, although he wished it was that stupid fae prince.

“No, Leona. This is our ti-“

“Go. It’s fine; I’ll see you tomorrow anyways,” you looked back and forth between him and Mallues. You tried to make a step towards him but he just glared at you. You gave him a sadden look and sighed before turning around and falling into step with Malleus. Not before shooting him a quick goodbye, he just waved his hand dismissively. He layed down looking up at the stars that have now shown themselves. Perfect timing huh? Now he knew why you asked him, of course it wasn’t intended for himself. It was Malleus, you liked Malleus. He sat there just reveling in the realization. His fist tightened and brows furrowed. Why does he always get the short end of the stick? But… then again he couldn’t be mad at you. Or Malleus. His posture relaxed. Sure, he had feelings for you but he wouldn’t let that get in the way of you being happy. If it's with that stuck up, posh fae from Disomania, so be it. He just wants you to be happy.

“Nah… I don’t like them. It’s all you man,”

Malleus just hums, not fully convinced but he knows better than to push his luck.

“Very well then. Have a good rest of your evening, Leona,” that was the first time in a while Malleus has used his name. First name at least. A silent way to communicate his appreciation. He watches Mallues walk away; a slight pep in his step. Although he was to late, Leona knows if he can’t be the one to love you, Mallues would be a good second.

There will be a part 3 of this. I didnt know if I should’ve put this under the series tags or not because I don’t really consider it as one. There is more than two parts to this tho so maybe I will. For right now I’ll just link the first post and by the time the third one comes out, maybe before, I’ll decide how to tag it.

Thank you all ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎.

-Love, Sosa❤️

[softxsuki]

hiya!! if theres still a space open, could i req a valentines letter?

the fandom id like is tokyo revengers, and could i please request mikey?? :p

fem! reader <33

a pet name id like is probably baby or something along those lines sncjefien

relationship status : best friends to lovers?? weve known each other since we were little and hes been in love for years, and is now confessing :0

could the tone of the letter be a love letter? i dont really mind to be honest!

genre : fluff <3

location: maybe he gave the letter when he came over? maybe hid it somewhere to be found later on? or maybe asked draken to deliver it, either way idm!

other info: i has many older brothers (rip my life-) and maybe they might have helped mikey with writing the letter?? but the sano + my family have been close ever since mikey + her met at the sano dojo, and were best friends all our life.

if you need any more content, id be happy to give!! tysm have a great day <33

Mikey’s Confession Letter To His Friend

Valentine’s Day Letter Event Pt.2 (CLOSED)

Pairing: Mikey x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers

Post-Type: Letter

Word Count: 810

Summary: in which Draken pushes Mikey to finally confess to you

[A/N: Helloooooo, Happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you so much for participating in my event. I hope you enjoy this <3]

“Hm, Draken? What are you doing here? Where’s Mikey?” You ask, confused at the tall man at your door instead of your best friend who was supposed to be coming over to your place.

“He’s being a wimp,” he sighs with a frown and hands you something, “Here, it’s from Mikey. He’ll be over soon, I’ll make sure of it.”

Then he walks away, waving you farewell over his shoulder without looking back.

Confused, you close your front door, but open the envelope Draken had given you. He said it was from Mikey, which makes you swallow. Was it a coincidence that today was Valentine’s Day and you were receiving a letter from your best friend who you had the biggest crush on? Or were you getting your hopes up for no reason? Only one way to find out…you begin to read the contents of the letter inside;

Dear Baby,

Okay wait, it’s weird to type that out already, when I haven’t even written anything yet…sorry, you’re probably shocked. That is what I want to call you–actually, it’s what I’ve been calling you in my head for the past few years now. You have no idea how hard it’s been to keep that petname to myself whenever we were together. It’s almost slipped from my mouth so many times.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day, Y/N! This is my confession letter to you :D. I think my feelings for you were there since we first met at the Sano Dojo. I didn’t know girls could be tough too, so it made my heart flutter to see you fight so well, since it was something I was also good at. Though we were still kids at the time, so I don’t think I fully understood what those feelings meant, so I just wanted to be your friend.

But now the title of only friend isn’t enough…I need more. I need you. Your my partner in crime, and that will never change, but I want to hold your hand as more than friends, and kiss your lips instead of your cheek. I want to have a future together as lovers. So, will you do me the honor of being my Valentine this year? Will you be mine, baby?

Love,

Manjiro Sano.

You didn’t even get a chance to react to Mikey’s confession before Draken’s booming voice could be heard outside your door.

“I swear if you don’t hurry up and knock on that door. Stop being a wimp, Mikey!” Draken yells at his friend.

“Shut up, Ken-chin, I’m doing it! I’m no wimp,” the man behind the letter to you whines. You can almost imagine the pout on his lips, which makes your heart flutter in your chest.

With a thumping heart, you open the front door and find yourself face to face with Mikey, who has his hand raised as if he’s about to knock on the door.

“Oh, b-, Y/N! Haha,” he laughs nervously, his hand flying to his pockets where he stuffs them, “Funny seeing you here.”

“You idiot, this is her house. Why wouldn’t she be here?” Draken sighs, slapping him upside the head, and shoves him inside, before Mikey could run off.

“It’s about time you both got this over and done with. How blind can you both be…” Draken grumbles before stomping off.

Mikey was nervous–that was something you’d never seen before. He was always full of confidence, never scared of anything…

Mikey glares at his taller friend as he walks away before facing you again.

“Heh, ignore him Y/N,” he laughs, closing the door behind him and making himself at home, as he throws himself on your couch, like always.

“You like me?” You ask him causiously, butterlfiers erupting in your stomach at saying the words outloud. You almost regret them as soon as you say them as Mikey visibly freezes on the couch.

It’s quiet for a few moments between you before he turns around with a small smile and pats the space beside him.

“C’mere,” he invites you over to his side.

Your feet seem to move without you realizing, and before you know it, you’re inches away from his face, now sitting beside him on the couch.

“I think love is a better way to put it. I love you, Y/N,” he confesses, which makes all the air from your lungs vanish.

His confidence is back, and it’s more attractive than ever. This man was going to give you a heart attack. You slap his arm playfully and clutch your chest.

“Mikey! You can’t just say that without any warning, I’m hanging by a string here, you’re gonna kill me!”

He laughs at your dramatics, a glint in his eyes as they meet yours.

“So? Whaddya say?”

“You’re so lucky I love you too, you idiot. Of course I’ll be your Valentine.”

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Posted: 2/14/2023

[coolattasclown]

Do you mean Olmi's ship wherever his people came from? Or getting back to the Marmor's ship? You can totally speculate what happened to Iris and can she still talk, but I'm going to wait until it's revealed so it doesn't deviate to much from the comic.

Olmi's spaceship!! I have a drawing of it somewhere

They actually don't know where their planet or solar system is anymore. Around their solar system theres kind of a smokescreen almost?? it was built by the previous civilization (which. i need to name and design. dw about it) along with gateways, one of which Olmi went thru and ended up outside their solar system. One of the reasons why the marmors keep them around is to find out where his solar system is, so they can use it.

I think with the marmors being able to manipulate their own kind with technology (for example Shepherd is described as cybernetically upgraded), they would probably do a similar thing to Iris. Not only would she have information about her planet because she was a leader if i remember correctly, but "upgrading" lower lifeforms or changing people for their own benefit is in line with what we've seen before. I don't think they would put Iris in control of the ship, not if she can still remember what happened to her. But I do think they would still make her useful. Having her just be a brain in a jar, i dont think her powers would spread very far? they had to have changed her somehow in order to get her powers to reach the entirety of the ship and also the planet.

If she is connected to a computer or something though, I wonder how writing would work with translating. Is it only verbal language or written languages too? Or maybe the marmors just have a guy who carries around iris' brain when they get to the planet XD

[gaysonlyocean]

AUGHH IDK ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR OCS BUT I WANNA SO BAD so uhhmm hmhmh 3 5 7 12 16 aaand also favorite scene. can be written or unwritten I just wanna know where the emotions are tastiest

ITS OK IM MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THEM!!!

3.) any recurring images/elements?

isolation, trauma, dysfunctional relationships, and maladaptive coping mechanisms are all in it :]

5.) pick a theme song for the tv adaptation.

that unwanted animal by the amazing devil! a line from it is in the description of the playlist!!

7.) how would you describe the relationships between the characters in the story within eight words or less?

oh fuck thats a hard one uhhhh:

caring but in the wrong way

12.) okay be honest. pick a favorite oc from this ocverse.

rose lemonade my Beloved the og oc for this, they came first and i love it so so much

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

NOOOOO THAT WOULD TERRIBLE god theres a lot of characters im gonna have to add a read more

god ambrosi would NOT have tumblr hes too old for that 😭but if he did it would just be photos from his porch

adele would have a tumblr to post music on and at the start of the story she stop posting and then comes back at the end with a "sorry for the hiatus! i have a partner now and so much trauma"

odette canonically is a musician on youtube [think annapantsu] so et would just be posting as normal as if things arent going terribly wrong, so song covers and lil aesthetic reblogs

im not including the kids ones 5, ones 9 and the other is illiterate sobs none of them are getting tumblr, reuben also doesnt have a phone so hes not included but if he did have a phone hed be jsut posting blurry photos of the horrors

gabriel would just have a tumblr to reblog odettes posts to be proud of et, also would not be acknowledging the horrors

sasha would have a shitty meme tumblr i KNOW he would it would be full of things that were funny in 2011 and then reuben would steal his phone and post shit on it and get yelled at

elaine would have a studyblr! shes trying her hardest

madeleine is the only one with a fandom blog and ey starts posting "who would have thunk being hunted for sport sucks o_O" and eir posts take off

eran would be vagueposting about everyone and then reblogging gothic aesthetic shit

bernard would only use tumblr at the start as he tries to make a gofundme post and then the horrors happen

lenore would be reblogging all those post of like links to recipe pages and then stop posting for a week and come back with 5 million vent posts

maddie would get kung pow penised so fast

anyway for my favourite scene its gotta be the one at the motel!

ill set the scene: bernard has just seen his sisters blood hit the window of their motel room, he has his daughter in the room with him and this weird kid she befriended but his 5 year old son is Still Out There Somewhere, hes terrified, he doesnt know whats happening, all he knows is something is RIGHT outside, so he does the only thing he can think of: he grabs the two kids in the room and drags them into the closet with him, theres barely enough room but theres no where else that he can think of that will protect them from the fate waiting outside, the bathroom is too open and out in the room is as well, he hears his daughter tell him hes holding her too tight, that hes hurting her, but he cant let go, he just apologises and holds her tighter, desperately hoping that whatever that thing thats claw is scratching the window will leave

[37q]

11 spending a lot of time on r/AmITheAngel for like a month straight late this winter rly helped me flesh out this tension in my cranium about mass public "socialization" in the post-modern internet. a little too much detachment on there for me but its honed my skeptic eye for that mediums social propriety and writing. they could stand to identify fetish stuff a little better but theyre pretty keen compared to, like, the rest of the internet.

12 oh for some context the premise of the sub is that, like, most of the content on r/AmITheAsshole is manufactured, self-serving BS, and so they pass their time on /AITAngel by taking potshots at OP's embarrassingly obvious agenda and psychological issues. "16 year old trying to find non-scholarly quotes for their creative writing prompt", "boyfriend provoking argument material for his weird obsession over getting babytrapped" etc etc. anyways

21 so like ok weve long-tempered the observable materiality and truth of these online social domains. like weve screened for all bullshit and loopholes, people are only engaging here in formal avenues of real feeling and good faith, moderation is swift, vastly codified and arbitrarily enforced. but oh wait 99.5% of members are viewers... and commenters are encouraged to speak outwards to hypothetical audiences...

31 hm gotta admit too the reality of it makes great, free, and "natural" educational material. or cringecam footage. or fetish fuel. or argument enders. or just mundane attachment to things we think we know and things we use to fortify those assumptions!

212 nothing gets you more engaged than totally immersing yourself in the totality of a "truth", however theres a conflict in that kind of detachment, the subject-object utility. either we genuinely give a shit about all these mf's miserable lives and get offended by some commenter's moral code, or we detach, confirm, reproduce, and make it a theater.

213 and the theater isn't a fun one, either, the cynicism and objectification will rot your brain. we can slap together some semblance of critical meta-engagement -- yknow like consumption as a consumer, collecting this to use it later, self-aware bordering on parasocial viewership (my god when a lurker mentions a "well-known" commenter by name... EW!) -- but in the end our consumption of the material will mediated by the fact that, like, we can only find use of it by suspending (and IMO fundamentally sundering) the scrutability of what we hold to be true. the authenticity gets all garbled up in the process, like this is hilarious bullshit for their sense of reality but also i kind of dont think deception or gullibility is very funny for weird stuff...

2141 see right there! "weird stuff", i have a threshold based on propriety of what i consider recognizable, authentic, "real" or socially legible expressions or behavior

22 so anyways!!! somewhere down the line after weve cleared out all the riffraff and its all respectable legit service usage and socialization, and funny enough the people suddenly have no place to put their neurotic internalization of unstable social systems and mundane life, the only solace is in a simulation of reifying and legitimizing their feelings. radical expression is demoralized, and emotional authenticity is quite literally socially determined. what the hell is an outlaw

23 heres where we get into the meat of it. remember AITAngel's premise? yeah, so, writing exercise, self-confirming or -serving, 99.5% viewership, most OP's post from a throwaway account (although when they dont its INSANE), people are commenting on the OOP like "what's up with the spike in vegan child-free weddings lately"... at soooome pooooint viewers have trouble suspending their disbelief. just a lil artificial, make it a one-liner karma game with algorithmically generated prompts cuz why not. a circus! lets dress up as elephants

32 now were starting to see how we can make use of this charade. want all the dads terrified of sexism to come out of the woordworks and give you the soundbites they wish they couldve used in their custody battles? need to farm some philosophical talking points for class? do you feel alone, scared, on your last leg, and are in need of others to console you over how you allegorically represent and sterilize your series of misfortunes and poor decisions? you want validation that you didnt sit next to your mom during your friday family outing? do you need disgust, horror, shame, or really any genuinely visceral reaction to your fantasies from strangers to make it real enough to get you off? easy reification machine

[acceptingmyowncompany]

I must relieve the pressure from my mind brain. It doesnt stop going. is everything anxiety?! if so, that fucking sucks man. what do I do about it?! its not just physical. its mental, and mentally I know no peace. I just keep thinking about the future. Thinking about everything I have to look forward to and all the ways it plays out. sometimes good sometimes bad. I think about the girl and all the ways we can be cute and couple together, but then im reminded that she's delaying talking to me. it takes me back to 2019. it makes me thing maybe im tripping. maybe im too invested. maybe she's decided she doesnt see this becoming anything and its purely platonic. thats okay. it just would suck to be this invested for nothing. I have no one to talk to about it. I used to talk to Henle about this stuff, he's gone now. passive suicide. it makes me sad all over again. the thought that again it got so bad for him that he either tried to kill himself or he was trying to numb it so much that he ended up killing himself. super upsetting. I miss my guy. and I wish I was there for him better. but I can't live with that thought. the only person effected by that line of thinking is me. so what's the point. what can I learn. dont wait. show up for others while you can and when you can. gratitude. be grateful for the moments. have an impact where you can. but man I just hope he knows how hard this life thing is without him man. I really did lean on my guy so much. maybe thats why I feel so bad. he probably needed people to lean on and sure, he didnt choose to lean, we couldve still extended better. I shouldn't say we. EYE couldve. but yes, maybe she doesnt like me. and thats cool. but I dont wanna like her if she doesnt like me. I know thats now how this shit works, but it just doesnt feel productive or good. to do so. its nice to have a crush again. its fun. it was excited, but it sucks to not be reciprocated. to wait. to feel like you're running in place. I wish we could talk more consistently. maybe somewhere other than instagram. I wish we could talk on the phone. I could hear her laugh and she could make me laugh. REAL CHEMISTRY. I think about a time where we have that. real chemistry. good chemistry. cute moments and conversations. but what if that never happens. what if she's not into me at all. then im being delusional for no fucking reason. maybe thats okay. idk humiliation. embarrassment. 2019. all those things. its much more mentally taxing than id like. I need an indication that we still good, or again a reset. a clean slate to restart. Just to stop yearning you know?! And then Texas. I'm making strides but man am I anxious about the whole thing. the idea of being out there. having to talk to all these people. people I dont know. people who are better than me. more adult than me. more successful than me. a turtle. I hide. in my uncomfortable clothes. feeling self conscious about my appearance. feeling self conscious about anything I could possibly talk about. having nothing to offer. feel like its gonna be the longest 4 days of my life. 3 days. whatever it is. sitting there, with enough money but not wanting to spend it. eating the cheapest. this is the only trip. and then thinking about trips next year. thinking about tattoos. all these cool plans and I can't even get a job. Idk what job I want. what job doesnt make my stomach turn while reading it . idk what there is for me out there but it feels like nothing. and I think and think and think and think about all this all fucking day and its only 8 something. and I just want to turn it off, but then I can't sleep and I struggle and struggle and struggle to sleep. theres no peace. NO PEACE. I CANT TURN IT OFF. I CANT FEEL OKAY. I JUST NEED TO FEEL OKAY. I NEED CLOSENESS. I NEED FUN. I NEED TO FEEL SOMETHING AND THERES NOTHING FOR ME. It's an exhausting existence.

[meowserita]

Sure tumblr post here cause im feeling weird and emotional but it feels weird and wrong to vent to my friends or any groups im in so into here it goes.

Today started off weird cause sharing an apartment with my sister sucks for my anxiety cause she always walks around heavily and seemingly angrily, just like my mom would when growing up so this morning sucked cause was to anxious to get up and out of bed to get food, so stayed in bed for a few hours anxiously waiting for chance i wouldnt feel way to anxious to get some random thing to eat. I know conceptually that sister isnt angry at me but that doesnt overcome trauma from childhood i still need to work through. After she went over to our parents place though day got better, and did eventually go over to parents as well for homemade pizza which was nice, said sister also braided my hair, and i always love hanging with my little sister. i absolutely adore her and its clear she adores me, of all my family i trusr her and my brother the most.

Left after saying goodnight to little sister and after getting home was an eepy kitty and now just wanting to be someones kitty. So am feeling just lonely and incomplete.

Comong from that, i keep thinking about something that happened last week when hanging with my best friend, where we're driving to her apartment and she mentions hanging out with her cats. I then asked "is it weird i felt included in thst statement?" To which she said no.

Later at a massive dinner with bunch of friends she mentions to her husband, something roughly along the lines of "oh arias one of our cats now." Needless to say that whole situation felt incredible, but the more i think about it the more i question how much of that was joking and how much sincere but also feel super weird asking her about that because i have mentioned to her about having a crush on her in the past but at this point theres no residual romantic undertones in it and its purely platonic love.

Kinda shared more then i was expecting to but it feels good to get this down somewhere at least but i still might delete this later

[pwblogarchive]

October 2004

October 2, 2004

“I Wrote The Word “Regret” On My Hand To Remember To Call You”

Its a fixedcat fight. And I’m going down fast, but I’m winking. Faking it. Tbs tour in chicago. You remeber 3 years ago when us and tbs first played chicago. Yeah to like 20 kids. So thank you for tonight. We are having so much fun. We have so many new songs.

Do you ever see someone just sitting alone and feel so bad. Just low. Like you just know they aren’t connected to anyone? Maybe that’s just me. I want this record to make those people feel okay, cause we all get there sometimes… Go read hey chris’s zine. Its pretty good.

Don’t roll your eyes at me I only want to write a song to suit your every mood.

P

October 4, 2004

“Its Not Gossip If Its The Truth”

Day off in omaha. Got some new tricks for you. Including: a green slytherin tie, members only jacket, and napoleon dynamite on dvd (youknowyouwantityouknowyouwantit). My hair is new black on blonde I don’t know what to think of it just yet. Me and dirty have been making funny videos that I hope you get to see soon. I don’t know why I read the internet- aaron from matchbook told me about our kickball game being written about on absolutepunk (jason tate is my homeboy- however it wasn’t teammatchbook that won it- it was team dirty consisting of: dirty, me, andy hurley, judas mbr, fred tbs, and mark tbs- we smoked the competition… So let the internet know. If you wanna play some kickball come find us. We leave for l.a. To record our record in november- I’m excited. We have these shows coming up on the east coast in december please get your tickets early, they will sell out.

I’ve got sunsets in my veins like you don’t even know.

P

October 6, 2004

“I’m A Headache Kid With Targets For Eyes”

Denver. singing one mile up. Had the best time till joe hit me in the head with his guitar. Yes again. It knocked me out. I apologize. We finished the set and we hope everyone still had a good time. I can’t sleep. I need your heart beat. I’ve been working on my other book, I can’t wait to see the west coast again. Then for florida we got great halloween costumes for you.

You could have taken the place of oxygen for me.

Peterpumpkin eater

October 7, 2004

“This Is A Love Song In My Own Fucked Up Way”

somewhere along the line i stopped believing in this. i stopped trying to match our breathing when we fell asleep. i hear about the way you brag about how all the songs are about you. only someone like you could ever be proud of that.

October 7, 2004

“Lets Walk This Romance Until Its Bitter End”

flew into seattle at 6:45 am today. eyes stuck shut with sleep in them. our entire band and crew was pulled aside and searched. we can’t tune guitars, theres no way we could bomb anything. i hate flying. i find myself assessing my life every time we hit a bump- if someone’s keeping score then i am fucked. got to play with a ton of great bands today. hung with my chemical romance a bunch- me and mikey, their bassist, have a gang called “the sweet little dudes”. we’re gonna make a secret handshake. trust me, you’re jealous. don’t be suprised if you see us on tour together in the future. the lost prophets had a party tonight, where they shot their new video. i did lots of monster faces for the camera, maybe you will see it. got another excerpt from my other book (not the boy with the thorn in his side) over at: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal -

sorry for all the complaining. it just comes so easy to me.

p

October 8, 2004

"atlanta to san jose"

The first thing I ever knew about her was a lie. Her lips curl when she’s talking about the “Q”. her middle name is “Q” she says.

but it’s not. She’s regular. She’s normal just like me. But Her lips still curl when she is hoping she isn’t caught.

Except she always is.

She reminds me of the anecdote about the lab rat who chose the intense pleasure button over the food button. He probably starved to death. 

But I’m sure he’s reliving the glory days up in rat heaven. 

I call her up to tell her to build me a model scale version of San Francisco because I have a great idea for a disaster.

She must be on the internet because the phone just keeps ringing. Right now I want to shoot every single fucking employee at Earthlink.

What do overweight Ethiopians, free money, the tooth fairy- and Q as a middle name have in common?

Liar.

I hate how I can’t stop thinking about the liar.

Freud says love is the sublimation of sexual impulses.

I say we are all lab rats. And consider this a failed experiment.

He says we sublimate our sexual desires to make them palatable to society.

This is what love is.

I say this must be a clinical trial.

And I am the control.

She is the “Stockholm Effect”- you know back in the seventies when victims fell in love with their kidnappers.

Yeah. She’s mostly like that.

She is the middle parts of Great Expectations. You know right before things go really wrong for Pip (and This wouldn’t be my story if I weren’t Pip).

God, I love victim culture.

I love Jeffrey Dahmer being a victim of society.

I love Patty Hearst. I love the “Stockholm Effect”.

The great victims of our culture. Aren’t we all?

Sexuality was first examined scientifically in the 19th century. Before that religion fielded all questions.

That didn’t work so well.

Love was not examined scientifically until the late 20th century.

Erich Fromm suggested that infatuation was a plan by Mother Nature to promote the survival of the species. See with out infatuation cave men would never have overcome the fear of interacting and eventually having sex with other clans. Thus ensuring the survival of the species.

This is what is commonly considered a breakthrough. Freud is spinning in his grave.

Our extinction is a Hallmark card away.

He later suggests that in order to love someone else one must love themselves. A classic “needs before other needs” argument.

Unfortunately, no one really loves themselves. And if they do, they need to get to know themselves better. Unfortunately, no one is really happy. So, let’s be unhappy together.

I call her up to tell her to build a mini version of San Jose for me to devastate.

Her roommate tells me she is on the phone long-distance with her aunt. 

I want to kill every member of her extended family.

Phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical responsible for the swooning and feelings of adoration, is structurally similar to cocaine. Most people choose cocaine over love when given the chance. 

I wouldn’t say that’s a bad choice. 

The endorphins released during infatuation are similar to heroin; only they don’t make you skinny and pale. Oxytocin, “the cuddling hormone” most often found in new mothers and newlyweds, are like ecstasy- every touch feels a bit tinglier. 

Love exists in a bottle. In a syringe. I want mine diluted with water.

Most people would choose gambling over love when given the chance. We are the rat.

Most people choose pornography over love when given the chance. We are the cave-man.

Hallmark cards and boxes of Fanny-May chocolates will save humanity.

It’s all in the marketing. Kellogg and the original Graham Cracker originally marketed their products as a way to stifle teenage masturbation

I call her up to go over the blue prints for a miniature Atlanta because I crave catastrophe.

Her answering machine picks up. Right now I hate her voice.

It reminds me of how much I think about her.

She is the fraud. The faker. I can’t stop thinking about her.

I miss her lips curling with those lies.

I miss her body- See, she has a body that will go to the pornstar retirement home in her golden years- or prostitute heaven. 

to my favorite liar: you were always/never just a line in a song.

- petey

October 9, 2004

Release The Brats

Canada was amazing. Vancouver. Kissing weather but no kissing was done. If you’re coming out to any shows anytime soon I am in need of this one kind of shampoo its called purple shampoo or its in a purple bottle- it washes the color out of blonde hair- anyway the black is sneaking into the blonde and I need some. You can get it at beauty supply places. Ill hook you up with some merch or clan gear… Here’s the hitch I only need one bottle…

I’ve been calling you late at night in my mind. My bed misses me and you.

Petey

President of the brats.

Sweet lil dudes gang

October 10, 2004

“Status Report: I Am Missing You To Death”

so the update. i got the shampoo so ignore the earlier post, though thank you for even caring at all. im in portland.

i used to have headaches.

then i met you. now im onto

something new.

October 11, 2004

“143”

I could tell she was searching for something. Something punishing. Something unforgivable.

“I hope your plane crashes.”

Somewhere deep down so did i.

she always had this look of awe on her face when i looked at her (i should have told her, i don’t do “awe” but i will settle for “sympathy”). we all settle- sometimes you want chocolate and all they have is vanilla- sometimes you want romance, and instead you got me. im the sick feeling in your stomach the next morning when you remember the night before. i am the trash on the floor after the last dance.

i can only sleep on tylenol pms lately and they cant touch these headaches.

i swear to god i would give this all up if you asked.

the way i’d pretend that i could see you and not have my hands all over you if you would pretend i didn’t know everything.

the way i wrote every song about you, because of you, for you. but you were still always the first person i played them for.

how i cant pull the trigger.

im all the parts of a bullet but the powder.

if you were smart you’d skip this part.

you’d just stop reading.

i know this jumps around everywhere and doesn’t make much sense. i didn’t write this one. my moods did.

somewhere along the way. you decided i was settling.

but i never gave up on anything as pretty as you.

everytime the plane bumps, i think of you.

we cant stand being this close to eachother, even inside of IM windows.

and you said “im turning my phone off, ive had enough of this conversation for the night”.

and i think maybe that theres still a chance.

its like roulette- if the phones on then you still love me, theres still a chance. if it’s off- then i was wrong.

its like roulette, and im putting all my chips on black.

(your phone is off).

i never stood a chance. the house always wins.

imagine me at my worst- and i am just past that.

the sign on the road says “welcome to rock bottom”.

i own all the real estate.

this is us both signing off.

October 15, 2004

“Songs Don’t Settle Scores So How About Me And All My Friends Vs. You And All Of Yours”

If you’ve seen me around lately, I’m not sad or in a bad mood. I’m sick. It gets me really quiet and weird. I apologize. The west coast is so much fun. My mom is the cutest. She thinks someone broke into our house to steal new fall out boy demos, hehe, pretty good. Just on this side of crazy. I love my mom. This journal entry is all over the place. So I posted some pics of the new hair- you gotta look around and you’ll find them… Its not too hard. Got some good news for you soon.

P

October 15, 2004

12:08 am.

fuck your friends page, cause i said so

October 19, 2004

“Jason Tate Doesn’t Ever Call Me Back”

Vegas. The luck only goes one way. Piece of advice. Don’t bet all your merch money on red. Don’t dream of anyone except me. Were half way there. We’ve got even newer songs, some new merch, and some new ways of throwing it all away.

Jared tell jason to call me.

Peter

October 21, 2004

“If Its Any Consolation”

Every song on our next record will be about killing the head cheerleader.

October 24, 2004

“Cowboys And Girls.”

There’s something intensely foreign but endearing about texas. Put the love on hold. We move slow.

Were sitting out dances on the wall of club after the show. You said “I’m faded, but you should think this over cause it could take all night”. But I’m pretty sure you were just faded. My bunk feels like a coffin tonight. The airs humid here, hard to breathe- it makes every pull worth it. You’re lighting cigarettes off of eachother. You say it calms your nerves, but it doesn’t show.

Texas is the reason: apple soda, frozen poptarts, holister kids: ashley, jamie, renee, my dad, long letters vs. Short emails, laguna beach, zombie make up, dirty, cranberry and vodka minus the vodka.

Oh yeah, I guess some people brought me cigarettes to the show. I don’t smoke. That’s joe who posted that. Also, don’t feel like you have to bring anything.

Take this as it is. Spit: this is the curtain call on desperation. So come out and take a bow. Depression is so 90s. Hit it or quit it. There’s a world out there and I’m almost ready to feel alive in it. This is me telling you no one will ever feel like that again.

Lateralligator.

Peterpan

October 26, 2004

“Everywhere I Go I Keep Her Picture In My Wallet”

Sometimes you take chances. You take and and take. And then you take when you should have folded. Read this as: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. And know its true. No love is unconditional.

See you soon.

….fellas like me only spit lines like we’ve got somthing to prove. And all the boys want to dance with girls like you…..

October 27, 2004

“Where America Goes To Die”

Florida: we’re gonna have a new limited shirt just for you, beginning at the st. Pete show.

Also, if anyone wants to carve pumpkins. Come to the show early and ask for me or our tour manager dan. Here’s the catch. You have to supply the pumpkins, the knives and the spoons.

Peter

October 28, 2004

You know the funny thing is I already know how its gonna turn out. 

Get the book: www.clandestineindustries.com  

- petey

October 30, 2004

“My Wrists Are Black And Blue Cause I Don’t Have The Balls”

Fuck. I wish I could scream this into the screen. I don’t feel too eloquent right now.

Icalled you to save me. Voicemails don’t mean shit these days.

Its not worth the wishes on clocks and eyelashes anymore.

[midnightmisadventures]

Pt 2 Liam Dream

Here's what I got...

We um, we were in our dream settings as usual. Fancy cruise dinner but not necessarily on a cruise, state college, huge manison, is it christmas? and most importantly.

The biggest up and comer. That park/camping/venue/camp that sometimes day is performing at outdoor festival style or there is a very cheap and country carnival. Looong "road"or driveway going to the park.

Theres also the dream town? And we were at one of those restaurants in one of those plazas if that makes sense.

And we were talking about various things while getting ready to go somewhere together.

There were other relevant guys what we knew or who were interested in me in the dream?? And I started talking about them casually not in a way where im praising them or calling them attractive. But in my head i felt myself talking too much. Like i had a feeling bringing them up would make Liam upset, but it was like I couldnt stop myself or like word vomit.

So then he tensed up or whatever and asked "who's more attrative "insert guy we know" or a famous basketball player" "Compare him to a famous basketball player you think is hot"

and as he was going i was like "no no no, im not doing that" and he was like "cmon, just do it" as if it was all good fun and not something he was upset about. I was like Liam no, im not gonna talk to you about guys and tell you whos hotter thats crazy, why would i do that." And something along the lines of....i love YOU and thats all that matters. But also not that bc i couldnt define our relationship exactly

He kept pushing, and i said i dont even know any basketball players by name except the famous ones. I only know the people my dad talks about anyway. And because he wouldnt let go, i even tried to name ACTIVE basketball players at the top of my head and i was struggling just to prove it to him, but i was hoping he believed me.

We then started talking about going to events, and like upscale things, not the grammys or something so big but potentially an award show. And he made a comment along the lines of "you get a girl who lives/works in new york and she'll start talking about stuff like this" Like oh so fancy, uhuh this checks out since you work at a fancy job in the city now and you do fancy things.

Lmaooo. I was just like what?? But we moved past it.

This comes off like he was being an insecure dick. But he wasnt.... lol. Insecure? okay yea probably but he wasnt being a dick it was very playful vibes but only significant cause i could see through it and tell this things were bothering him a little.

But it never felt like at my expense. He was always just trying to measure himself to feel good enough for what i was experiencing and who i was around.

Then.... time goes on. Its just us we're talking the same. And I tell a story about how one time i didnt pay a parking meter? And didnt get a ticket but i parked illegally. Idk a super harmless RANDOM story.

And after I told it he got quiet. And weird. Emphasis though on not mean. He was sweet and gentle the whole time. But his deameanor changed. And i tried to keep talking but now he was SO down. So I was wondering if I should bring it up, should I wait till we leave and say something in the car....

But i just said "im sorry, is it something I said? What's wrong"

And he looked up from tying his shoes and was like....."uh its just that (lets say "not paying the parking meter?") is really dangerous and I wouldnt want anything to happen to you. One time something happened with me and my dad and it was really bad"

And i felt horrible I was like "oh im so sorry Liam, I would have never brought it up, if I knew you had trauma attached to it" and he quietly was just like "its okay" And i was about to go over to him and hug him or rub his back but I asked "do you wanna talk about it"

And he just shook his head. So i was like...okay, he wasnt mad at me. He was just in a bad mood becaus of whatever bad memory.

But i....to fill the silence i guess kept saying sorry. Even though i didnt need to apologize anymore lol, I didnt know it would trigger him. And i asked him if he wanted to talk about, AND i said i wouldnt park illegally again. (Even though whatever my random story was about wasnt that bad)

My point was i did everything i could so i need to learn not to put it on myself to make him feel better. He's allowed to be sad. People can be in bad moods. Its not my fault!!

Which maybe explains why, then i said "Im sorry if now im talking too much, or saying the wrong thing i-, just sometimes don't know when to stop or if im doing to much"

And he said something in a cheeky way like "yea....you coulda stopped already. You don't have to keep talking"

And in the dream i took offense to that (silently). And got insecure about yapping too much.

But thinking it through now I think he was just saying "its okay you don't have to overcorrect or fix something that you didnt do" (or even that you did). You apologized. And he wasnt upset cause i told a random story about a parking meter. He was upset becuase he was reliving whatever trauma with his dad.

Swipe up for part 3

[speakyskelly-1999]

okay

wehre the fuck did i get to in my list

checking list

ah yes sailor moon s

AAAAAAH SAILOR MOOON S

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

god okay

wait so how did i do these again

characters then plot

oh and this time homie (yes i'm looking at you brother) i'll keep it short

erm ye aso idk the

i'll look it up

ye ye

usagi

wait i'm totally not going off of like month old memory when mny memory is so fuuuucked at the minuet hahaha

oh i only finished it like 13 days ago

anyway

oh yea spoilers

a#this was gonna be short but like man there are so many characters i think they'll get like a line or two each sorry it's not in depth

i'm so tired

usagi: as based as ever. and usagi pilled. i mean like it was obvious she was the massiah once that plot point was brought up. they tried to goat us into thinging it was some one else like saturn but we see you show we see youuu

chibi usa: omg she's back. do i like the fact that she's back... yea you know what it's nice. it works it's fun. and then it hit me like a truck with her friendship with hotaru. chefs kiss. very adorable.

ami: wheres the screen shot of her having based oppinions about science. idk it's somewhere he on my laptop. oooh her swiming race with michiru aaaah. loved that episode. she's really cermenting herself as my fave like over all

rei: imma be real as of like rn i can't remember what she did bar like her episdoe with yuuichiru. like i know she did stuff i thought was based but i just don't remember

makoto: girlie be the third to turn bi

minako: girlie be the fist to turn bi hehehe. oooh and her solo epsiode this season very nice. gotta love her relationship with artimis

okay side note: they spend a lot of this season studying which i'm very impressed with

luna: vibing it up as usual. dosn't have much to do but i love her

artimis: stop doing cool/nice/funny things i want to ignore you. but i can't so good going my guy i know definatly acknoledge you're existance

side note again: it would be funny if this ends up being my longest sailor moon review simply becasue theres so many characters and i keep adding random stuff in it

mamoru: he exists. he keeps chibi usa alive at one point. he dons't have much to do. thank you for existing i guess.

haruka: hehe. hehehe. hehehe. i love how much of a bitch she is. she turns all the sailor soilders gay (bar the child cos she's a child). i love the fact that she chanlenges usagi's right to the throne at the end. i love her convistion adn thet fact that she isn't afria to get her hands dirty, and the fact that she loves michiru. i love the fact that revolutionary girl utena was inspire by their relationship. all four lesbians are totally not both my lock screena nd home screen. i love that she can drive even tho she shouldn't. okay it dose get annoying that they don't help the sailor soliders sooner but like it makes sense cos of the way the manga is set out. we're ignoring the fact that this is the longest character sestion totallty not because i was waiting for her for ages and she's like my fave or anything

michiru: she so pretty and calm. really is watch moment

soide note ye: so like it annoys me that both michiru and ami are technically water. well ami is water and michiru is the deep ocean. and like they even flavour ami's to be more mist and bubbles (ceaser) but like it annoys my brain in like a really dumb way

sestsuna: girlie. you be space and time. why is your attack death scream. oh it's because you can't use that to attack with cos you get into trouble. that's okay proceed with being a queen and slay your enemires. wait noooo not yourself

hotaru: ooooh she has issssssuuuuuuuuuesss. poor girlie. okay but like in all seriousness i really like her relationship with chibi usa it's adorable. her awakening as sailor saturn i thought was really cool. i love how she's just like a neuke pheonix it's very funny

Kaolinite: okay so errr she exists. almost figures out who sailor moon is but dosn't. then she dies. but then she's back cos the professer brought her back . honestly i thought she was a clone bt no. and then she gets jeaslous and dies again. cool. i mean i remember you exists which is more than i can say about other villains on this list but still

souichi: who? oh yea/ so this is both hotaru's dad and i'll also use this as the double up for the even alternate dimentional being that's enhabiting his body. gotta love an evil cooky scientist villain. very fun to play with. i really like his relationship with the first 2 of the witches 5 (the others had like one episode each i don't caer). and then like once he's just a normal dad again his love for his daughter is so cute.

Eudial: she's my favorite of the witches 5. girl just drives out of what ever she wants and slays the glasses look. her desperation to get the talisments that unlock the holy grail is so good. and she almsot did it too which is very impressive. also her death brutal. kinda my fave of all the underling villans they really did put a lot of time into her

mimete: the build up to her was more interesting to me than when she was actually the villain the sailor soilders were facing. she straight up kills eudial in cold blood but then just turns out to be a fam hog and have a crush on like every famous person

tellu: i semi forgot she existed. like i remember her episode cos it's such a good one to protray chibi usa and hotaru's frindship but like she didn't do much. but to be fair if her plan had worked it would have been game over so that was cool

viluy: god. like she gives us such a based ami episode but she's boring as fuck. her nano bots where cooler

ptilol: idk she splits into two

mistress 9: she wants to bring an evil force from an evil dimention to fuck up the world. to do so she inhabits hotaru's body and bids her time. her outfit was a slay

motoki: man has one episode give him more

naru: i know she turns up but like i don't rememeber

umino: umino

yuuichirou: dumbass see's rei with haruka and things theor dating. man get a grip

okay man: okay so i have this guy his own chatagory. which like technically he dosn't deserve man dosn't even have line but like/ i had no idea that this meme from from this show like

and liike this was one of the best episodes. it was so stupid i loved it

errr cool so thats the end of the review

i'm very tired

i'm not doing a plot one

i mean i could it does make me remember the plot of each season like stupidly well but like idk

if i do one it'll be like ages away

oh yea so this season is the best by far

haha im exagerating

okay but like legit

this season is so far my favoirte

i think the pasing of it is done super well and it handles it's very large cast pretty well. it also finally has the lesbians whichi is a huge plus

like sailor moon dosn't get gay till this season and then everyone becaomes bi is so good

literally what i was wairting fir this entire time

so anyway now i gotta watch the film and then super s

...

i really just wanna watch sailor stars but i'll do it

[melissa-titanium]

ok im just dropping ideas. perhaps the ferryman brought them back through the threshold (?) out of frustration over this particular iteration of these two. hes finally like ugh okay the nowhere isnt even going to be able to split these two up is it. after years of them surviving in the nowhere fuelled by companionship & the knowledge that they WILL NOT be seperated again. so it spits them back out. im not sure how exactly but thats just my idea.

back in the real world. no memory loss, no nothing. i imagine they're MUCH older at this point. you cant corrupt a child in the nowhere if they have hope, atleast thats what i imagine. since they had eachother to bounce off of i doubt theyd turn into monsters/adults. besides, when i say much older i don't mean like crazy old i mean old as in relative to their canon ages. maybe 15/16. with the power of friendship you can even grow up tgether in hell dimension.

its weird, obviously. being back in a world where things are proportionate, the world isn't as dangerous and the dangers that do exist are manageable. it's scary. being around others means you're more of a target, that there's more danger of something bigger appearing -- but in a world like this, it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop, a shoe that doesn't even exist.

im not sure where they'd be thrown back. im not even sure where they would have been taken from when they were taken to the nowhere (and thats also assuming mono wasn't a nowhere construct, which i dont think he was)

im deciding between having them thrown back together or thrown back to where they were originally. i don't like making new dharacters or inventing stuff like pre-nowhere backstories because im scared of mischaracterization or overdramatization but i think im kind of forced into doing so here. sigh

MAYBE. six is thrown back to her old house. a very very old house, an empty one. maybe abandoned, maybe up for sale, never bought due to the rumors of a child going missing without a body to be found in that area. either way, her parents arent there and she doesn't miss them. she never got to know them in the first place. i imagine it's deep in the woods near a semi-rural little town, sort of like the hunter's cabin. she goes there to search for mono

i dont know where mono would end up. probably somewhere strange for an equally strange kid. i can imagine he gets spit out into some public space in the city. maybe an alleyway, a park, a deli, maybe even a foster center. either way, people see him and freak out. he eventually manages to ask someone if anyones seen six (with a description ofc but idk what she would look like yet) and no one knows who he's talking about.

im not sure wha happens but somewhere along the line, six does the same thing but for mono & much more cautiously, probably just looking at maps and people watching until she gets her answer. (ex: did you hear about that weird teenager in the city who popped out of thin air? looked like he was cosplaying some anime chqracter, black-sclera contacts and everything.)

i think at some point she cant find a map and tries to look for one, someone seeing she's lost politely walks up 2 her and puts a hand on her shoulder like hey you dont look like youre from around here do uou need a gui- NOPE BITCH. SIX SUPLEX!!! the sudden contact scared the shit out of her and she reacted. guy doesnt die but def breaks a couple things and people lose their shit. maybe theres like a cop nearby or something but regardless she gets chased by cops into the woods because 1. it must be weird as hell for her to be PUNISHED by violence and defending herself, i guess she forgot that people dont kill eachother on the regular in the real world. 2. i hope she kills one of them fuck cops

badabing badaboom . mono was running through the woods towards where she was as well because he figured she'd be there or something like that. he's hopping through trees, we get a reference to the ln comics, light filtering down from the trees, sun behind mono as he perches on a branch and then spots her, taking a breather under the foliage. JAW DROP REUNION. uh oh, one of the bitchass cops manages to graze her in the leg with a bullet and she falls down. mono epically jumps the fuck down and. wait

ok im thinking about thais now WOULD MONO HAVE HIS POWERS??? i imagine him and six would retain them but i wonder if its simply an aspect of yhe nowhere and not something that can be brought into the realm of reality where the laws of the universe work differently? plus i think monos powers would only really work in the pale city/any place with high electronic activity. six doesnt have that restriction though so im gonna assume hers Do work. ofc since this is post maw + mono (mawno) she has them dw.

okay. so she gets up, soul sucks the cops before mono can do anything, and urges him to gtfo with her. OK IM AT MY AUNTS RN ILL WRITE MORE IM JUST THINKING. this is like. my intro into seeing how theu would live Regular lives. does that make sensw

i despise most ages up ln aus because theyre usually created with the purpose of shipping or God Forbid NSFW shit . but i think the concept of seeing how it would happen & what the characters would look like is very interesting id like to figure something like that out

[spacexseven]

nice glad to see drunk yans was a hit. yeah i agree that dazai would be 1000% HUMILIATED that he just entirely blew his cover with you but on the bright side thats something he can jot down in his Evidence That Darling Secretly Has A Crush On Me list. its in the same notebook where he scribbles “mr. osamu darlingslastname” with hearts around it and ingredients for love spells he looked up online. he’ll find one that works eventually mark his words. i think for ADA dazai he’d just pretend he doesnt remember to avoid having to have the “im obsessed with you” conversation but rest assured. he is also writing about it in his insane little diary. 

ANYWAY sleepy!drunk ranpo as promised. it’s rare for ranpo to actually get inebriated, despite his gluttony. dulls his detective mind. but it’s alright to let loose on occasion, especially when that occasion gives him and excuse to spend some more time with darling! his flirtation strat is just to put himself in darlings line of sight as much as he can. once he gets drunk he’s pretty much just Gone. you’re honestly amazed someone as talkative as ranpo could ever be this. quiet and subdued. just blearily blinking his eyes and slurring out little whines about how its too loud in here. catch is: he doesnt wanna sleep just any old place, he wants to sleep on YOU. he’ll perch his head on your shoulder and doze off, lay down on your lap, grab your hand and put it in his hair, try to drag you over to the couch and get you to take a nap with him, etc. refuses to go to bed unless you agree to go with him. oh, and theres no waiting until he passes out and quietly slipping away. if you move away from him he’s waking up instantly and following after you, sleepily asking “where are we going” like he was invited or something. ur probably still on cuddle buddy duty when he wakes up hungover too. 

clingy!drunk akutagawa. this one also cannot hold his liquor for the life of him so he’ll start to tilt into Weird after like. 2 drinks if that. typically, akutagawa is pretty avoidant with you. you’re not good for him. he cant focus on the task at hand if he’s close enough to smell you or feel the warmth that radiates off your skin or even hear the lilt of your voice, so he tries to cut down direct contact as much as he can. (stalking is fine tho he can do THAT all day long) if someone actually manages to get him drunk, however, as soon as he sees you he’s gravitating towards you like a magnet. he doesn’t really say much. just attaches himself to you. sits so close his leg is practically on top of yours, gently grabs your sleeve when you walk somewhere so he doesnt lose track of you, stuff like that. he’s just your shadow for the night. might get a bit bolder as the night goes on and actually take a crack at talking to you, but nothing he says is gonna make much sense. WILL try to follow you home be aware him doing that. (also, quick aside…flirty!drunk akutagawa… akutagawa acting completely unlike himself, laughing and smiling and boldly touching you… leaning into whisper salacious things in your ear… pushing you down into the booth or up against the wall… much to think about.)

BONUS ROUND smiley!drunk fyodor. fyodor is even less likely to deign himself with the crude act of drink than the other two. doesnt like being out of his own head, and with all of his various ailments drinking in excess could prove problematic… but gogol dared him to so now he’s half kicked in the ass. normally, fyodor smiling at you is something very creepy that you have to be worried about, but now he almost looks kinda… sweet. just genuinely grinning and lightly giggling like hes having the time of his life just being near you. i mean, it’s definitely still kinda creepy but you know. less so than usual. he probably wouldnt talk much, just the occasional hi :) or something in russian you cant understand. he’d occupy himself mostly with grabbing your hand and toying idly with your fingers or running his fingers through your hair. just little touches. things he rarely affords himself sober. he’ll only stop smiling if you try to leave, pouting and grabbing your hand to try to keep you with him for longer. might try to go after you but he’s very wobbly so youll have to catch him, also contact that he enjoys. he actually wont be embarrassed by any of this he’ll just go that was fun :) the next morning. 

- 🩹

ranpo sleep on me wink wink i cant write flirty akutagawa for the life of me but he lives in my mind <3 also please imagine this w manga fyodor!! he has a very pretty smile lol (if its ooc i do not care once in a while it's good to write him not as evil !!)

cw: yandere characters, obsession, intoxication, implied stalking

ranpo needs to be drunk to be all clingy, but drinking only makes him more shameless about it. he's decided to attach himself to you, literally sleeping on top of you, and so on. he's unnaturally quiet, though, and more...vulnerable? you're suddenly reminded of the fact that ranpo isn't an ability user; just a regular person with an unrelenting mind when you see him blinking slowly and drinking from his cup.

he's never had a reason to hide his infatuation with you, not caring about what anyone else, including you, had to say or feel about it, but now he looks a little shy, staring quietly at you and looking back at his drink the moment your eyes lock, looking a little flustered. it was almost like he was another person entirely.

however, after some time passes and he seems to have warmed up to your presence, he becomes more demanding. stumbles over to drag you towards the loveseat at the back of the room, quickly wrapping his arms around yours so you wouldn't move while he snoozed away. though he's asleep, his grip on you is almost painful and even the slightest nudge would make him tighten his hands. maybe he'll loosen up the more he slept...?

you've never seen akutagawa drink. you've always thought he would be quiet even if he was intoxicated but he seems to be acting...oddly. the previously stoic look melts into a devious expression on his face that reminds you of someone that you can't quite put your finger on, and a dangerous look in his eye, not unlike that of a predator on the hunt. he takes short breaks in between each sip but doesn't seem to be bothered by the alcohol, still silently studying the room and inspecting every individual until—

—he sees you.

his eyes widen a fraction before he catches himself, straightens up, and walks towards you with a confidence that you hadn't expected. he sits next to you and continues sipping from his cup, lmost as though you didn't exist. you get up to leave but his voice startles you.

"where are you going?"

akutagawa had a low, melodious tone when he spoke, something you had never noticed before since he rarely talked to you. you were strangely flustered by the sudden attention on you...you didn't even know that he knew who you were.

"home...it's getting quite late."

he nods, "i'll walk you back."

it was not an offer or a question—this was an implicit order. silently you wonder if he was sober enough too walk around and make his way back later. still, you didn't want to annoy akutagawa, more so when he was drunk and unpredictable. surprisingly, he doesn't seem to stumble around his way or need you to guide the way, seemingly knowing exactly where to go and which floor your apartment was.

would it be rude to not invite him in? he waits outside as you open the door and shuffle in, but before you can ask him to come in, he goes in for a hug. you're frozen still as he sighs in your warmth, then lets go almost as quickly as he latched on, as though he never did anything in the first place. as you watch him walk down the hallway, you wonder just what else he's been hiding.

fyodor is...not really much of a drinker, from your own observations. still, he's not exactly opposed to a few drinks every once in a while, and today, since the sky casino was throwing a party, you supposed he couldn't skip the occassion. he's always had this alluring yet uneasy presence, like something about that sweet smile and the amused glint in his eyes just felt off, but drunk fyodor is...almost irresistable.

you know what he can do and you've witnessed how dangerous he is, but somehow he looks far too approachable now. a soft little smile, nothing like the ones he uses to disarm and charm people, humming under his breath—it was impossible to look away from him.

as nikolai leaves his side, fyodor's eyes scan the room lazily, before they find you. his smile grows a little, and he raises one hand up. a silent request. before you can even think about it, you find yourself making your way over to him, unsure if the slight buzz in your system was from the alcohol or the sensation of him asking for you.

he gestures over to the now empty chair beside him, watching you closely with a sleepy smile.

"enjoying the party?" you nod eagerly, watching as he chuckles and reaches out for your hand, twisting the rings around your fingers. he inspects each one, still humming, before bringing your hand to his lips and placing a kiss on it. you were not expecting any of the affectionate gestures, but you would be lying if you said it didn't feel nice, someone aa attractive and as important as fyodor having only eyes for you.

"you look very nice," he says, eyes inspecting every inch of you in a manner thar should have been alarming but in that moment, it was just nice to be complimented.

you sit like that with him for a while more, him mumbling things in russian under his breath every so often, squeezing your palm and stopping to compliment you ever so often. once, he reached up to touch your hair, apologizing right after for messing up your hairstyle. like that mattered when you were on cloud nine.

an acquaintance of yours calls you over, but fyodor's grip tightens around you, and he frowns for the first time that evening. he croons at you, letting a pet name slip that has you absolutely endeared, asking very softly for you to stay a little longer. he whispers that he likes your presence. the other person is hence ignored.

he asks, again, if you could help him up to nikolai, and his voice, while you know it's not meant to be that way, sounds almost seductive. you have to shake off your thoughts before helping him wobble over to the clown, who was happily entertaining some guests. fyodor smiles at you one laat time that night.

the next day, while you're sure he would not remember the night before, he pauses his steps when he sees you in the hallway, inspects you with those devouring eyes, and smiles, telling you to have a good day.

[kageyuji]

asking him how to confess to your crush (him)

⤷ oikawa, suna, bokuto, iwaizumi ; [gn!reader]

TAGS: fluff/crack if you squint, confessions

NOTES: please reblog or i’ll cry

━━ OIKAWA

you can’t miss the momentary look of sadness, but he quickly hides it with a cocky smile

he tells you the cheesiest possible way to confess to someone. he doesn’t even know if it’ll work on not

(he actually hopes it doesn’t, but he can’t just be an asshole and tell you something that clearly won’t work)

but once he realizes that he is the person you like, his mind jumps to several different places all at once

he’s happy but also he can’t properly form words, please bear with him </3

“Oikawa?”

He hummed a response to you, ghost of a smile on his lips. He always liked the way you said his name, even if it was just his family name.

“I have a favor... so there’s this guy that I like, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him. Do you think you could give me ideas?”

You don’t miss the pout on his lips, the way his eyebrows furrow, the hurt in his eyes. If one were to blink, they wouldn’t have missed it. He smiled and laughed, quickly trying to hide how much his heart ached.

People — in reality, only makki and mattsun — had asked you if you had feelings for someone. But you never gave them an answer, just a flustered smile and a shrug.

“Uhm... I don’t know, depends on the person. You can get a bouquet or something, and chocolates maybe?”

A smile lit up your face. He had looked so pained to say it; his nose was wrinkled up a little, one hand at the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but you.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds sweet, he might like that. Should I ask him what his favorite flowers are?”

“Yeah.” His heart sunk impossibly lower.

“Got it. So, what are your favorite flowers?”

He looked up from where he’d taken a sudden interest in the floor, looking around for someone else. But no one seemed to be engaging in a conversation with you — actually, he realized it was only you and him in the room.

“No, I meant ask this guy that you like.”

“I just did.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, eyes wide and lips parted. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite read. Shock, or was in confusion? There was also an undertone of hurt, like he couldn’t tell if this was some sick joke or not.

“You mean... me? I’m the- you have feelings for me?”

Your heart fell then — of course you’d been nervous to tell him. But with the constant flirting, you were beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t just harmless and playful anymore. That maybe even if it was still done playfully, there was truth behind those words, behind the smiles and the winks he sent you.

“If you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine, I just-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I was just a little surprised is all. I feel the same way, and you’re great, really, I just figured I wasn’t your type.”

“But you are.” You said, heating rising in your cheeks. Nothing could mask the smile he wore, even if he was trying not fight it.

“And you are my type. Guess we’re both lucky, hm?”

━━ SUNA

he is determined not to let you notice how his heart stopped in his chest

he still holds the same disinterested, bored look on his face as always, although he’s unaware you could see right through him

refuses to give you advice on how to go about confessing

in fact, the last thing he wants to do is be around you — he knows you were never his, so he can’t be upset, but it still turns his stomach

tell him before he can find an excuse to leave, or else your confession will be a lot more painstaking due to him dodging any interaction with you

“So uh... if you were to confess to someone you like, how do you think you would do it?” Your voice sounded so sweet, so genuine.

“Why? You have a little crush on somethin’?” He laughed.

“Yeah, actually.”

Oh.

You don’t miss the way his nose scrunches and the look in his eyes. He’s looking at the floor with narrowed eyes, almost as though the floor was the cause of his jealousy.

Well, not his jealousy — he wasn’t jealous, was he?

“Hm,” He hums, and you find him putting back on the same incurious face that he always wore. “I don’t know, elaborate confessions are pointless. Just tell the person how you feel. If they really like you, they won’t turn you aware for being simple.”

“Ah, that’s true.” You smile, though it’s fueled with nervousness. “So, one more thing I gotta say then.”

“Make it quick, I’ve to be somewhere soon.” Suna hates the bitter taste in his mouth.

He knows he shouldn’t care, after all he’s never worked up the courage to spill his heart to you, so he doesn’t have a right to feel like something is being torn — no, stolen — away from him.

“Right. You said simple, so... I like you, and I think you’re really sweet. And you’re funny and you’re so caring, even though you would never admit that. Um, I hope that was boiled down enough for you.”

“You’re kidding right?”

The tone in his voice is almost accusatory, although he doesn’t mean it to be, he just genuinely doesn’t believe you. When had you ever shown interest in him? Not that he was complaining.

“No. But it’s fine if you d-”

“I never said that. If you mean it though, maybe you can tell me the longer version of everything you like about me. Over coffee or something?”

━━ BOKUTO

ok first off, let me stop you right there, because baby boy is gonna get so sad :(

there is no hiding the hurt he’s feeling. he’s always expressive, even though he’s trying to hide it

please stop him there because his mood is only going downhill

actually tells you some elaborate, thought out thing that you assumed was from the top of his head

(although in reality, he’s thought about telling you how he feels on countless times)

but when he realizes that you’re talking about him he instantly does a 180, he looks like he’s in heaven

“Bokuto!” You call his name with a smile. You’ve found you can always get a matching one from him whenever you do so.

And of course he smiles back at you, the same excited look in his eyes as always. “Y/n!”

“I need advice.” You say.

His expression drops into one of worry at your tone. If there was anything that Bokuto hated in this world, it was seeing you upset.

“What is it?”

“I need to know how to tell someone that I have feelings for them.”

And just like that, you can see his heart break through his expression. His eyebrows pin up and he presses his lips into a thin line. You can tell that he’s trying not to show you how bothered he was by that one sentence.

He always was bad at pretending he was fine though. It was clear, if nothing else you could see his watery eyes.

“Oh... uhm. Can I ask who the person is?”

You’re hesitant to say it. But you don’t know why, because his reaction was your final bit of proof that he had feelings for you too. He hadn’t been subtle before, but now it was obvious.

“You.”

“What?” Bokuto said, although the word was breathless.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond to him. Instead, the wide smile he always wore appeared back on his face and he wrapped his arms around you.

Usually, Bokuto’s hugs are tight anyway. They’re filled with a need to be close to you and a need to convey the emotion of ‘you are the only thing grounding me right now’.

But this one was tighter. He buried his face into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “I may have to confess to someone too.”

━━ IWAIZUMI

iwaizumi is a gentleman about it, as much as he doesn’t want to be

if anything, he wants to tell you right then and there about his feelings

but the fact (or rather, the thought) that you’ve taken an interest in someone else is all the evidence he needs to stop himself

the last thing he wants to do it mess with your emotions so he intends to stuff he feelings down to deepest parts of his mind in hopes that they’ll one day disappear

until of course, he realizes that he is the guy you’d been talking about

he gets giddy, believe it or not. he hates to admit it sometimes, but unbeknownst to you, you have so much control over his emotions

“So, Iwa?” You said, and he tried to overlook the cautious tone to your voice.

“Hm?”

“Uh, theres this guy that I kind of have feelings for. But the thing is, I don’t know how to tell him.” You sound nervous.

Iwaizumi assumes it’s from the thought of having to tell this person your feelings, yet he doesn’t realize that said person is him and it’s coming sooner than he’d realized.

He doesn’t say anything in response to you at first. His eyes narrow only slightly, then he takes a deep breath and turns back to you with his usual expression.

“If you’re going to tell them, do something sweet and simple. If you get all extravagant with it, it might freak ‘em out. Maybe... I dunno, buy a little gift and tell them?

He hid it well. The mix of jealousy, regret, and sadness in him was painful, but he clenched his fists and tried not to let his voice crack. If there was someone you knew that didn’t cry, it was Iwaizumi. Yet here he was, doing everything in his power not show how upset he was.

What was he even doing anyway? He was helping you find a lover that was not himself. Not that you even knew that, because in reality he’d never shown to you that he had feelings towards you.

That was something he was regretting a lot now.

“Oh I see, what kind of gift would you like?”

Ouch. As though this couldn’t hurt more. “I don’t know, depends on the person. Ask him, not me.”

“I just did, dummy.”

It took him a few seconds to process that, then another few seconds for the relief and happiness to wash over him. A smile rugged at the corner of his lips.

“That’s cute. You and I can go out somewhere this weekend and I can help you pick something out, hm?”