#but there'll may come a time

[the-desert-beast]

gonna throw my 2 cents in on this current Fandom Topic;

You cannot give in to resentful isolation. I'm serious.

Even if your last attempts went badly you have to keep trying. You have to make mistakes to learn from them. You have to find out who's worth your time and who you click with somehow, and you can only do that by Doing It Scared.

I fall into those mindsets, a lot. They suck. They're powerful and overwhelming and painful. I have to fight with myself and repeat over and over, No, you know your friends care about you. They've SAID that.

And I have to do this all the time. In minor and major ways.

Do It Scared. Try. If you feel like you've failed? Try again. There are ways to build self confidence but you have got to start with letting yourself feel confident any little way possible.

Don't give in to resentful isolation, that will only hurt you.

We all have bad brain days, weeks, or months.

Fandom will be waiting for you.

If you've started to treat fandom like a vending machine where lore/fanfic/art/screenshots go in and compliments come out, you should take a break.

[cinnamonsikwate]

watching the first 2 episodes of frieren last year shook me so bad i still can't get myself to continue it, but between what i remember of it and the nightmares episode of dungeon meshi i can't stop thinking about the ways laios would prepare marcille for his death. what would he leave behind to remind her that he (and by extension all the people she loved and who loved her) are still with her in spirit, even if not in body?

[quixot1sm]

i think, and this may just be my zekrom bias speaking, that if someone wants to experience the full value of bw's story it's better to play through white first. black has the issue of coming off as very dismissive towards plasma's legitimate and well-founded claims that pokemon abuse DOES occur (and it does! from the kanto games' marowak to bw2's liepard there's instances where it's put in the spotlight, so it certainly does happen)... by assigning the protagonist to truth, it feels pretty evident that n's beliefs are "wrong", and the game just seems to brush any questioning aside.

on the other hand, white giving n the hero of truth role means we're basically forced to think about what that means for the relationship of people and pokemon at large. to translate a point n makes in chargestone cave: if you allow people to coexist with pokemon, even if the majority of trainers treat them well, there will always be someone somewhere out there who abuses or neglects them instead. are we okay with that? should those pokemon still be allowed to suffer, just because what they experience is an outlier to the general rule? while not outright stated, zekrom's association with hope and the strive for the ideal suggests that we don't brush off these facts, but instead take them into consideration, and aim to change the world based off of them... like how in bw2 society in unova puts a lot more emphasis on the bond between people and pokemon, and on pokemon as equals (see: iris's dialogue before entering your team info the hall of fame).

i think black version has its own unique avenues to explore, but on the surface level, it's a much more cut and dry, "no, you're just wrong", type of story that kind of makes you work harder to fit it into bw's overall theming of "the world's not black and white, there's not a singular objective right or wrong perspective."

[ask-the-shiny-pokemons]

(@lightofunova) A flurry of brilliant white flames comes into your vision, swirling together until they form a sparkling scroll on old parchment. Unraveling it reveals old text stamped with flowers at the bottom of the letter. Though it seems almost impossible to read, the text begins to shift and translate itself for you!

“Dearest guest,

You are cordially invited to a night of fun and games at Lady Reshi’s request. Should you wish to attend please come to my tower and bring your finest sleepwear. We will have plenty of entertainment, food, and more for you to indulge yourself in. I eagerly await your arrival.

Reshiram”

Rimi shows a letter to Noelle.

Eh? I don't understand what it say-

It seems the text is starts to magically translate to her native language.

Oh, a sleepover? Like...a slumber party? We should wear...like PJs or somethin'?

Definitely. Girls slumber!

She yells with passion.

Hell yea! And no Edie!

She makes a smug smile.

Oh, Edin. He'll stay here on this part of Unova. Make sure he's not gonna do any trouble.

Yea, he's responsible after all... I guess...

Noelle nods with being unconfident about Edin.

So, where we go? It seems there's a Reshiram signature. According to legends, she was a Legendary and resided in Dragonspiral Tower with Zekrom.

I mean, not in our universe. Also the name "Reshi"... did we met in gala recently?

Ah, yea, the 'mon in human disguise. I hope lots of things happened in her life.

Yea, and she had an egg. Seems she havin' a child now.

It seems the girls got lost in thought after that. They're now changing the topic.

Oh, oh! We should think who we wanna see...

Rimi and Noelle had a discussion on who they want to see here. They mentioned a couple of familiar names.

The girls has been preparing for the sleepover.

[ @lightofunova ]

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 16

"Peace of Mind” by Boston

[loveletterworm]

The “significant updates only come like once every few months” thing splatoon is on nowadays is so scary  they said they weren’t planning to update the game until june...Um well earlier i determined through an extremely long series of conjecture  that there might be a decent chance of them starting to post more than 2 sentences about side order in may. so i will attempt to look forward to that until my attention breaks again. This is why i wanted to be a bullshit untrustworthy video game leaker the other day because i thought my guess sounded pretty good

[woahjo]

katsuki rarely drinks. it's not something he enjoys. but one one night, he shows up at your once-shared apartment, smelling like liquor. something sweet and fruity, liked he'd tried to wash a bitter taste from his mouth. to someone who doesn't know him the way you do, a tired sobriety may be assumed. he's that sort when he drinks.

he smiles when he sees you, a bashful kind of smile, despite not having spoken with you for months and you realize that maybe he's forgotten. maybe he's forgotten the last few months when he moved his stuff out of your place, the period of time after the break up where no one would bring up your names in front of the other.

"katsuki? it's the middle of the night," you say to him through the half open door. "what are you doing here?"

katsuki looks at you, clearly tired, and he swallows thick before opening his mouth and closing it again. you wait for him to find his words.

"i wanted to see you," he says.

"you don't live here anymore," you remind him gently, though you're not sure why you assume that he believes he does.

katsuki glances at the ground and then uses the doorframe to steady himself. you can tell that he's trying not to scare you, trying not to use the sheer size of his body. there's something cautious and equally careless about his motions and you tilt your head.

"katsuki?"

"why don't we talk anymore?" he asks you, swallowing again. you wonder where his friends have gotten off to and at what point int he evening they'd noticed that he wandered off.

the question tugs at your heartstrings as you stare at the man in the doorway. it's a pathetic sort of feeling, a weak longing in your chest. you're not sure how to answer. after the break up, things just sort of... fell off. there was nothing to say anymore.

"I want to talk to you," he admits.

this is a side of katsuki that only you are privy to. a quieter, gentler side of him. one where he can openly admit his wants and faults. an exposed bleeding wound that katsuki has never really been able to sew shut.

you shake your head a little.

"talking's hard," you tell him. you're being honest. talking to him is hard. there is so much history there.

"we used to be friends," he reasons, almost as if he's reminding himself.

"yeah," you nod, "we did."

"and now we're not," he adds. "and that fucking sucks."

you nod again.

"it's late, katsuki," you say to him. "you should get home and sleep this off."

katsuki nods, but he lingers. his eyes wander past you into the inside of your apartment, almost as if he can picture himself wandering in. you keep the door half shut.

"we'll talk soon?" he asks, something hopeful in his voice. this vulnerability makes you ache.

"yeah," you respond. "we'll talk soon. fix things."

katsuki nods and then, as if something sobering has come over him, he straightens his back. you furrow your brows as he looks at you, a pink tinge over his cheeks, and wait for what he has to say next.

"sorry to- sorry to bother you so late," he says, a little less gently. he's let a mask slip carefully over his features.

"it's fine," you shake your head. "get home safe, okay? do you need me to call someone for you?"

katsuki shakes his head insistently. "no, no," he says firmly— soberly. "i'm good. i'll see you around."

"okay."

he turns from your step and you watch his back for a moment before quietly shutting the door to your apartment. it feels too quiet now, and you briefly miss the light from the street as you turn back to the empty, darkened rooms.

you wonder if he'll remember coming to your door tomorrow and kick himself for it. you wonder if he'll wake up in the morning, his head pounding, with the mortifying memory of having shown up on your doorstep, telling you that he misses you in a set of different words. or, you wonder if he'll forget. will he wake tomorrow with no memory at all of the first conversation you've shared in months?

it's probably best if he doesn't remember it. then, there'll be nothing to follow up on and nothing to apologize for in the sobering light of day. you won't have to talk to him and be reminded of just how painful every aspect of this is. you have no intention of keeping your promise to talk soon, as much as you might like to fix things. it's best, for the both of you, if you let him fade into the background. then, you can meet him again as strangers—friends of friends—and pretend that the history between you both never happened in the first place.

[rainerioun]

𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖳𝖱𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖥𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hey there! In this reading, we'll explore which romantic/writing trope might fit your relationship with your future spouse best. Some of these themes can get pretty deep, so if you're not in the right headspace for that, perhaps come back another time. <3

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : APRIL 15TH, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

ENEMIES TO LOVERS. | RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME. | STAR-CROSSED.

Romance Trope? Knight of Wands [Reversed]. | Ten of Wands [Reversed]. | The Hanged Man [Reversed].

For some, a person from your past might resurface. Either way, there will be a separation. When you first encounter your future spouse, one or both of you may be going through a dark time. I should state that this connection will never become manipulative or deeply toxic, which nobody should accept or endorse.

Nonetheless, this connection won't be smooth sailing in the beginning. While serious hatred will not arise, there'll be a struggle to understand each other, which stems from inner wounds. Seeing reflections of yourself in them, and vice versa, leads to frustration because neither of you has fully healed yet. Stubbornness on both sides leads to drifting apart. Impulsive actions worsen the situation, causing you to dislike each other.

Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to define the relationship because y'all aren't really enemies, just two hurt people.

Expansion. Community. | Hostilities. | Anxiety.

Your future spouse might come into your life through a friend or an acquaintance, perhaps in a familiar setting you visit often. The connection between you both sparks a profound realization, which leads to heightened anxiety and tension. It might feel like you weren't supposed to meet this person, but in truth, you were destined to cross paths. Because when you reunite in the future, you'll love each other through the toughest times and cherish each other even more during the best moments. You're meant to teach each other lessons that no one else could, guiding you back to where you're meant to be in the end. I definitely see sleepless nights, though. — You might find each other again in the place you originally met.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dolphin : Innately Intelligent, Healer, Light Blessings. Bear :  Waking From Spiritual Slumber. Beginning Anew.

When you reunite, both you and this person have undoubtedly grown. It's a chance to begin anew with them at the right moment. Your future spouse has a knack for making people question themselves, but with you, it's particularly intense. While it may have caused hurt in the past for both of you, now you can work through it together.

While pulling the cards, I heard a distinct and amusing cackle, almost like a 'dolphin laugh,' even their giggles could be a loud and funny.

Insight. Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves personal creativity. Shadow : Withdraws from society of others. Refusing to help those in need.  Father — Light : Talent for creating and supporting life. Positive guiding light within a tribal unit. Shadow : Dictatorial control. Abuse of authority.  Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Shadow : Using humor to wound rather than liberate. Denial of your emotional truth.

Your future spouse will always have an introverted nature, but before change occurs, they are extremely reserved, perhaps to an unhealthy extent. They could be overly engrossed in work, other projects, or family matters, possibly taking on a leadership role for their siblings, which can be stressful even if they don't live together. Beneath the surface, they have a playful side. In the past, both of you might have been a too naive, but you'll reconnect when they emanate this strong fatherly energy. I'm hearing, 'Young, Dumb, and Broke.'

Additional. Soulmates : Soul Connection, Partnership, Agreement, Soul Contract. Coffin : Endings Bring New Beginnings, Growth, Change, Liberation, Transition.  Separation : Sadness, Missing You, Thinking About You, Yearning, Unsure of Future. Clock : Need Time, Takes Time, In Time, Cycles, Time to Heal, Progress.

There might be a bit of a chase for a while, whether it's conscious or not. When you make efforts to understand them, they might pull away, and the same goes for you. As much as it feels strange to say it, the label of twin flames could suit this connection. However, you'll eventually overcome this phase. It's possible you were only meant to learn the lesson of self-betterment from each other in this life, but both of your paths took unexpected turns, leading you to find each other despite it all. You both will make up time from not only your younger years, but previous lifetimes.

When everything falls into place and you seek forgiveness from each other, this connection becomes truly extraordinary. It's profound and complex, holding such true beauty. Eventually, it settles into something steady, providing the stability and fulfillment you both crave. Life together feels as close to perfect as it can get.

Take A Walk : Passion Pit. | Salad Days : Mac Demarco. | The Blower's Daughter : Damien Rice.

PILE TWO

FORCED PROXIMITY. | WORKPLACE.

Romance Trope? The Emperor. | Justice. | Four of Pentacles.

You and your future spouse will be drawn to each other no matter what, as if fate itself is pulling you together. You'll find yourself in situations where you encounter your future spouse frequently. I suspect this could be through some form of work. It's possible they might hold a higher position than you, maybe even a boss, though it's not necessary. They could simply have a lot of influence and trust. In some manner, this person plays a role in ensuring your financial stability.

Expansion. Angel of Strength. | Cornucopia. | Man Holding A Coin.

Once more, this person holds a certain sway over you. For some, this influence might stem from them being your client. They control your actions because they requested them.

It all depends on your current profession or your future plans. If you're primarily self-employed, even if you have a 'boss', this person might approach you as a client or possibly someone seeking work. However, if you're in a more corporate environment, they could be your boss or a colleague.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dragon : Seeing One’s Most True Self, Balancing The Ego.  Bat : Darkness, Letting Go, Death Leading To Rebirth. Lizard : Instinctual, Sensitive to The Subtle, Dreamer.

Your future spouse isn't really the bossy type. They can be assertive but are generally understanding and flexible. I don't see a power struggle whatsoever. They could be a natural leader, yet I believe their compassionate and accommodating nature prevents them from being cutthroat or overly blunt. Their work is very important to them, but they also recognize the humanity in their co-workers.

Insight. Healer — Light : Passion to serve others by repairing the body, mind, and spirit. Ability to help transform pain into healing. Shadow : Taking advantage of those who need help. Failing to care for oneself. Thief — Light : Sheds light on the potential wealth within you that can never be stolen. Shadow : Stealing money, creative ideas, affection or other powers you think you lack.  God — Light : Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others. Shadow : Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people.

As I mentioned before, this person will play a role in guiding your career somehow. They'll have things to teach you, just as you'll have things to teach them. You might notice an increase in financial opportunities or wealth around the time you meet this person, probably because of their doing, but maybe not!

Additional. Karmic Relationship : Fleeting, Turmoil, Resentment, Lessons, Letting go and Loving you.  Camera : Reminiscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn From the Past, Make Memories.  Girl Talk : Time with Friends, Moving On, Happily Single, Living in the Moment, Having Fun. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. 

Before anyone gets worried, let me clarify that I didn't take the Karmic Relationship card too seriously. I interpreted the message as affirming that this relationship will involve significant learning and growth. Not everyone will end up parting ways with this person, but everyone involved will gain valuable insights from the other. This connection could help both of you avoid repeating past mistakes. — As an alternate message, I'd like to add that it's time to let go of past relationships. Your future partner wants you to embrace self-love and believes in your ability to find happiness within yourself. Mastering contentment while single will not only attract them sooner but also teach you a valuable lesson that's ready to be learned.

Your future spouse will stand by your side and do everything in their power to support you. They aren't just interested in your safety and stability; they'll actively work to make sure it happens. Their actions speak volumes in this regard.

Partition : Beyoncé. | I Will : Mitski.

PILE THREE

SECOND CHANCE. | FORBIDDEN LOVE. 

Romance Trope? Two of Bows/Wands [Reversed]. | Seven of Vessels/Cups. | Two of Vessels/Cups [Reversed]. | The Green Woman. | Ten of Bows/Wands.

For many of you, I don't believe this is just an ex. I sense a third-party element at play here. Pinpointing a main scenario is too tricky; it varies for everyone by a lot. Perhaps you meet this person through a friend with whom you'll later drift apart with. Maybe your future partner happens to be a sibling of a friend. The possibilities are numerous. Nonetheless, there's someone who acts as a bridge between you both, influencing the connection. You might even have someone in mind already as you read this.

Regardless of the circumstances, I don't think your future spouse is the cause of this temporary 'separation', which might end up being a lack of communication for a short period of time until the situation resolves itself. I can't see a time where your future spouse was previously unkind or unpleasant to you, but rather it's more likely that the mutual person between you two played that role. If there are any rumors circulating, your future spouse will likely discern who's at fault and support you.

Expansion. Angel of Love. | Fifth Chakra : Archangel Gabriel. | Magician and The Mirror.

At first, your future spouse might assume they're to blame for the fallout and feel guilty about it. This uncertainty might delay the reconnection, even though they're fully committed to being by your side. They'll struggle with how to initiate fixing things, but eventually, they'll gather the courage to try. This reconciliation could happen online, if that resonates.

The forbidden aspect of this connection might originate from parental expectations, like qualities they require in your partner. Remember, you always have a choice in this matter. If not, it's not necessarily wrong but might be viewed with disapproval, such as getting involved with a friend's ex-partner.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Tiger : Lunar Force, Ease in Darkness, Feminine Energy.  Raccoon : Talented, Shadowy, In Hiding. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity.

Your future spouse is incredibly passionate and generous in their relationships and friendships, and this will shine even more when you two reconnect. They'll be open and sincere about their love for you once they emerge from hiding.

Insight. Addict — Light : Helps you recognize and confront addictive behavior. Shadow : Compromises integrity and honesty. Allows an addictive pattern to have authority over your inner spirit.  Avenger — Light : Desire to balance the scales of justice. Righteousness on behalf of society or oneself. Shadow : Resorting to violence in the name of a cause. Seeker — Light : Thirst for wisdom and truth wherever they are. Shadow : Inability to commit to a path once found.

After reconnecting, your future spouse will become more righteous, not just in relationships, but in all aspects of life. They won't stand for their loved ones being mistreated and will seek truth in murky situations, sharing their insights to keep you informed. They'll be honest about areas needing improvement while maintaining their patient and kind nature. By this time, they will understand how to be straightforward yet gentle.

Additional. The Butterfly : Relationship Evolving to the Next Phase, Healing the Inner Child, Growth. Boat : Receiving What You Need, Progression, Arriving, Moving On, Closure Issues. Girl With a Snake : Empath and Narcissist Paradigm, Being Charmed or Used, Enable Boundaries.  Heartbroken : Deeply Hurt, Sad, Separation, Breakup, Feeling Lost, Grieving, Mourning.

Reconnecting with you will be a healing and transformative experience for them. It will bring closure to their past, and you might need to reassure them that your aren't going anywhere. It's a bit odd, but lately, I've been watching Supernatural, and this person reminds me of Sam Winchester. They have a strong desire to protect you, but sometimes they might overextend themselves trying to provide for you. Which isn't your fault at all, they just need a reminder to relax and slow down.

Killer : The Ready Set. | She Looks So Perfect : 5 Seconds of Summer. | Holding Hands : The Magic Lantern.

PILE FOUR

FRIENDS TO LOVERS. | SOULMATES.

Romance Trope? Six of Pentacles. | Seven of Cups [Reversed]. | Three of Wands [Reversed].

Although it's one of the sweetest piles, it's also a tad messy. Not everyone will relate to this aspect, but take what resonates.

This person could be from your childhood or teenage years, or maybe someone you've recently met, or have yet to meet. Anything really. However, I feel for the majority it's someone you know. You have to figure this part out for yourself. But regardless, they're incredibly generous toward you, whether it's with money, affection, or understanding. However, this connection isn't without its challenges. Despite being very supportive, you'll have to navigate obstacles together. There might be setbacks or delays, but ultimately, your bond will grow stronger and develop into a romantic relationship.

Expansion. Strategy. | Storm Warning. | Healer of the Ages.

This part might only apply to a few, but I don't necessarily see it as your next relationship. Why? Well, because there are cards here, and later in the reading, that hint at some kind of breakup, which your future spouse helps you navigate through.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody?  Elk : Stable, Resilient, Headstrong, The Father. Turtle : Ancient Soul, Grounded, Trusting, At Home in the Self. Crocodile : Resting, Submerging, Collecting Energy, Cooling Off. 

Your future spouse will always carry the aura of a caregiver, being nurturing and extending their kindness towards both loved ones and strangers alike. They have a natural inclination towards being giving but possess a discerning eye when it comes to where and who they invest their energy. Their actions are consistent, and they seem calm and collected.

Your future spouse really embodies the ideal father figure and likely connect effortlessly with children. Patience and wisdom are strong in their nature, further enhancing this energy. They're like a true teddy bear until provoked.

Insight. Student — Light : Humility and devotion to knowledge. Openness to lifelong learning. Shadow : Arrogance in the pursuit of destructive knowledge. Unwillingness to translate knowledge into action.  Prince — Light : Romantic charm and potential for power. Shadow : Using power for self-aggrandizement.  Companion — Light : Loyalty, tenacity, and unselfishness. Shadow : Betrayal by misusing confidences. Loss of personal identity.

Think of your ideal "prince charming" - that's precisely who your future spouse is, whether in appearance or mindset. Gender doesn't limit this; it's about their energy and attitude. They have boundless curiosity, always eager to explore life and learn. Their fascination with you extends to wanting to know every detail, so they can envision and arrange everything in their mind. Loyalty and romance are ingrained in them, qualities you'll surely cherish. They're very charming.

Even in friendship, your future spouse exhibits a strong protective instinct, perhaps even a hint of possessiveness. You might not even realize your love for them until something sudden strikes. It's really like something out of fan fiction, where a seemingly random spark is actually the culmination of a slow burn. This realization may dawn on you when your future spouse defends or stands up for you in some manner. Suddenly, all the signs they've been dropping will become clear, and even the glance from them afterward will convey everything you need to know.

Additional. The Phoenix : New Phase, Rekindle, Renew, Transformation, Growth, Changed Mind.  Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Deception, Shocking Attack. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. Mask : Not Showing True Feelings, Hide, Personify, Pretend, Delude, Gaslighting.  Sunglasses : Watching, Looking, Stalking, Gaslighting, Perception, Focusing Out. Keys on a Ring : Many Options, Decision, Unconventional, String Along, One Night Stand.

For those it applies to, I'm revisiting my earlier point about being in a relationship and your future spouse's good sense of judgment regarding character. If this doesn't resonate, feel free to skip and check out the songs instead. Thank you!

Your future spouse had already secretly admired you for some time. Aware of your existing relationship, they struggled to suppress their feelings. Amidst the chaos in their mind, they couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with your partner. They wanted to reach out to warn you out of genuine concern, but you dismissed it as an overreaction. There's a chance your partner at the time suspected something between you two, leading to a sudden end to the relationship [Although, I don't think there was anything actually happening.] They might have harbored resentment for a while. But fear not, your future partner comes to the rescue. Whether they witness the breakup or support you afterward, you'll come to realize that your true feelings lay with them all along, but you were blinded by the allure of another. With too many choices before, you failed to think clearly and see what was right in front of you.

Like That : Jack and Jack. | Somewhere Only We Know : Keane. | Little Person : Matt Maltese. | Boyfriend : Dove Cameron. [Update: Forgot to add a song, sorry!]

[tavolgisvist]

'Just call him on the phone'

Q: Aside from the millions you’ve been offered for a reunion concert, how did you feel about producer Lorne Michaels’s generous offer of thirty-two hundred dollars for appearing together on Saturday Night Live a few years ago?* A: Oh, yeah, Paul and I were together watching that show. He was visiting us at our place in the Dakota. We were watching it and almost went down to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into a cab, but we were actually too tired. Q: How did you and Paul happen to be watching TV together? A: That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him**, “Please call before you come over. It’s not 1956, and turning up at the door isn’t the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.” He was upset by that, but I didn’t mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day, and some guy turns up at the door … But anyway, back on that night he and Linda walked in and he and I were just sitting there watching the show, and we went, Ha-ha, wouldn’t it be funny if we went down, but we didn’t. Q: Is that the last time you’ve seen Paul? A: Yes, but I didn’t mean it like that.

<...> Q: You say you haven’t really listened to Paul’s work and haven’t really talked to him since that night in your apartment— A: Really talked to him, no, that’s the operative word. I haven’t really talked to him in ten years. Because I haven’t spent time with him. I’ve been doing other things and so has he. You know, he’s got twenty five kids and about twenty million records out — how can he spend time talking? He’s always working.

(John Lennon, 1980, All We Are Saying, David Sheff)

*It was in 25 April 1976 **it was in 26 April 1976

Well, when I, when I was Just a little baby boy, Every night, every night I would call, Because your number, you know, Brought me such sweet joy. I've called your name, John, Every night since then But I ain't never, no, no, never Heard you calling me, My sweet, sweet babe, So, you know, you better call me back again, I call your operator but I still can't get through to you, Call me back again

(Call Me Back Again, presumably, 10 June 1976, Seattle)

Tell me, is she everything i see Or is she really not the one for me? We know, and though some may disagree But do they know the way we want to be? <…> Building something One thing made to last And holding something Special from the past And do I still believe in stories we've been told***? Are all the things she brings me worth their weight in gold? Oh yeah, (oh yeah) pure gold

(Pure Gold, Paul for Ringo, 1976)

***I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another.The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream’. So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out’. So the message of that dream was: keep digging lads.'

(Paul McCartney to The Big Issue, Feb. 2012)

After you've gone And left me crying After you've gone Ain't no deny You'll feel blue You'll feel sad You'll miss the dearest pal that you ever had

There'll come a time And don't you forget it There'll come a time When you'll regret it****

Someday when you grow lonely Your heart will break like mine You want me only After you've gone After you've gone away

(After You've Gone, 1977, Paul's version - 'just for fun' as he said - of a 1918 popular song written by Turner Layton and Henry Creamer, and it's Frank Sinatra's (and Sophie Tucker!) version.

****the line 'Don't you forget it/When you'll regret it' reminds another old (not as old like After You've Gone but old) song -  I Love You And Don't You Forget It by Perry Como. The song, what our lads were singing in their early years so playfully:

Klas Burling: Tell us something about how you find a song… how you get the idea about a song, to write it down. John: Well, sometimes it's the words first, and then the music after. Klas Burling: Very often you've got a title, you know… Me and you, and everything like that? Paul: Yeah. We try to do that, to make it personal so it's… so we really mean it. When we sing a thing about 'I love you,' it's easier. John: (singing) 'And don't you forget it!' John & Paul: (singing together, jokingly) 'I love you and don't you forget it!' Paul: Well, you see, it's easier than singing something about the cat that lives on the hill, man. (laughter) Paul: It's a lot easier just to sing about what you feel yourself.

(August 23 1963, interview with Klas Burling)

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday I used to hold you in my arms And now a baby, and a another on the way [Indescernable] in a farm Now must we be alone? If it don’t feel right, don’t do it If it don’t look right, look right through it If it don’t feel right, don’t do it Just call him on the phone

(John Lennon, Real Life, Feb 1977)

We'd had a bread strike over here***** and I rang him and I was saying, What are you doing? He says. I'm baking some bread.' 'Oh! Me too.' Imagine, with the stereotypes, John and Paul talking about baking bread.

(Paul McCartney, May 2001, interview for Mojo magazine)

*****a bread strike in England was in Nov 1978

Q: Do you regret that your life has become so public? A: I realized that a good fifteen years ago. I remember actually thinking when I went on holiday somewhere, ‘God I’d really better start thinking now about keeping a few countries aside where we don’t sell records. I won’t be able to go anywhere without being recognized.’ But now I think, ‘Really, I’ve reached the point of no return. There’s no going back.’ Even if I didn’t want to sing anymore, I’d just be like Greta Garbo or Brigitte Bardot. They both retired but you’d never know it. John said this to me a year before he died. He said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.’ That’s the way I look at it. I wished for all this and I got it. To regret it would mean I’d have to sit here and live with negative thoughts about it. I know that would only sink me. Even if I had feelings of regret my personality would not really let them out. ‘Look mate, you don’t regret it. Look on the other side,’ that’s me. Not to sink. I always used to do that instinctively, and not allow too many negative thoughts to surface.

(Paul McCartney, April/May 1982, interview for Music Express)

The couple of years after the Beatles broke up it was very touchy because I think we suspected each other of business manoeuvres. So anyone would ring up, it would be like, “Why is he ringing?��� And when you put up the defensive like that it’s very difficult to say, “I’m not! Honest!” You just don’t know where to put yourself. So we had a lot of those ups and downs for quite a few years. But the favourite thing was that if ever we talked not business – and what we ended doing, actually, was make a rule not to talk business on the phone – and on those occasions, we had really good vibes, man. And it was great; we just talked kids, we talked family, we talked cats, we talked life, rather than, “oh, what songs are doing with x business affair?” And one of the great things for me, one of the consolation prizes after John was killed, the only thing– you know, you find yourself holding on to little bits of wreckage to keep yourself afloat. And with me it was the fact that our last phonecall was really one of the best we ever had together; it was really warm, we were really friends again.

(Paul McCartney, 1984, interview for CBS Morning News)

Q: Do you remember your last conversation with John? A: Yes. That is a nice thing, a consoling factor for me, because I do feel it was sad that we never actually sat down and straightened our differences out. But fortunately for me, the last phone conversation I ever had with him was really great, and we didn’t have any kind of blowup. It could have easily been one of the other phone calls, when we blew up at each other and slammed the phone down. Q: Do you remember what you talked about? A: It was just a very happy conversation about his family, my family. Enjoying his life very much; Sean was a very big part of it. And thining about getting on with his career. I remember he said, “Oh, God, I’m like Aunt Mimi, padding round here in me dressing gown”– robe, as he called it, ’cause he was picking up the American vernacular –“feeding the cats in me robe and cooking and putting a cup of tea on. This housewife wants a career!” It was that time for him. He was about to launch Double Fantasy.******

(Paul McCartney, Dec 1984, interview for Playboy)

******Double Fantasy released 17 November 1980

I was lucky. The last few wee... months that he was alive, we’d managed to get our relationship back on track. And we were talking and having real good conversations. Real nice and friendly.

(Paul McCartney about This One, interview with Bernard Goldberg for the TV series 48 Hours, 1989)

[greenflowerceo]

hii im suuper late to my own week ik (i'll post the rest of the days from time to time, college applications were a pain </3 but i've got most of it down

This piece is a redraw of my very first post ! This has been a wip since the start of the year so my art style unsurprisingly changed a bunch as i tweaked the lines and colors. it's not the best but it's looking as good as it can be!

as for the zine, people are free to draw up pieces for the week up until the end of september and we can compile it all together! it's not really the usual zine format but who knows.. we can maybe try to figure out a way to formally start a more structured zine project for these two

Anyway! I've decided to dedicate my greenflower week posts to my headcanons I've made up for them from the past 4 years.. I figured you guys could take a peek into my brain since I haven't really been good at that unless you catch me in a vc :") there's a buncha hcs and old ass art i never posted finally unearthing under the cut if you wanna take a peek

So, first thing: Body headcanons..

i took super long getting what i want with this waay back when I started posting cause I was still figuring out a lot with my art. i couldn't get in good details/features that would properly differentiate them or make them fun to draw. I wasn't striving to be really innovative with the designs or anything, I just wanted them to feel like characters I like looking at and thinking about

finally, i'm somewhat able to settle on these as of right now! It will most likely update as the time passes and my art changes, but this is what I got!

basically the main idea is that i wanted Lloyd to be bulkier but sharper. grew up fast and has all these edges, but then you get to know him and he's just a big ol dork. Mostly wears loose-fitting clothes that hides his figure, but he's quite built underneath

Brad's a lil taller and pretty lanky. my art style may not be able to show that properly but lloyd can snap him in half <3 he also seems hella chill but that's probably cause he got balls of steel after living through a million ninjago invasions

This thing below is an old outfit concept I have for a project that I've been working on. does not reflect my current headcanons with his physical appearance but i do like his clothes

I think he loves his role as the green ninja, saving the world and such. it came with lots of baggage and reflection but i do promise that he enjoys it for the most part. I think him wearing green is kind of like wearing work clothes so he tends to avoid it on days when he's free to keep from being too ready to jump into ninja mode

i do tend to keep him in green though cause the fandom sure does love their color-coded ninja

anyway .. that's about most of what i've got for this that looks good enough to post, so here's a bunch of other doodles/sketches, both old and new ToT

oh and a quick comic too cause why not

one more: bonus greenflower yuri

thanks for coming to read this far :) there'll be more soon

[psychicreadsgirl]

Pick a Dish: Your Relationship Dynamics with your next S/O

Pick the picture that draws you most. If you can't decide between 2, then look at the 2 readings. Remember, this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

#1

Very relaxed, kind of lazy. Stay at home dates - a lot of Netflix and chill vibes. Almost literal couch potatoes at times.

You two will feel comfortable with each other really fast. You two won't be scared of sharing your "bad" sides like farting in front of the other or telling them how bad your arm pits smell etc. You also will feel comfortable wearing just casual stuff or PJS or home clothes with them. You won't really feel the need to put on makeup or dress up much for your S/O.

You two will feel like good friends, in fact, almost like best friends. You two will either be very clingy towards each other or will lead very independent/almost separate lives, mostly bc of your work/school or some other uncontrollable situation.

You will both help out each other and listen to one another. There's a lot of positive energy between you two. And a LOT of lazy chill energy - which is fine too. Just be careful of your health - still important to exercise and eat healthy.

Some people may feel like you two are like those super old married couples, but you both feel that's ok.

For some there may be a long distance relationship for you two or it will become one after dating.

#2

You both like to keep things fresh and spicy. Expect lots of surprises and fun. I see both of you travelling a lot together and you might even be the couple that quits their jobs and becomes vloggers or quits their jobs to start some other biz etc. Somehow being together leads you two to create something together, whether it be a career/organization/a place/other friendship maybe. There's some "expansion" or creation aspect to this union.

You will find each other to be very funny and will enjoy spending time with each other. You will have endless of things to talk about--likely one of you will be more chatty and the other just more quiet.

You two don't seem to place that much emphasis on material things in life. You enjoy doing activities together -- not necessarily the fact that you two went to some "fancy" restaurant. You both don't really care about luxury goods or brand names. You both would rather spend money on more practical things or entertainment like travel, movies, vacations, etc.

For some of you you might be polar opposites with the other person so inevitably there may be times where you two will definitely butt heads. However you two will make up usually by some physical touch or sex.

#3

There'll be some traditional undertones to this relationship. Perhaps both of you come from very strict families or one of you does or maybe you/they/both have traditional values. Maybe you two were set up by your parents.

There's going to be some element of cultural significance/foreign element too. Perhaps you both enjoy different cultures' foods. Maybe one of you comes from a multicultural family or has lived abroad in many different places. Maybe one of you is fluent in multiple languages or has many different friends abroad. Maybe you guys even are from 2 different countries.

Oddly there's a mix of non-traditional/traditional elements to this relationship. Sometimes that might make for a very interesting dynamic/relationship. Sometimes it might lead to conflict/disagreements because there are 2 different, sometimes opposite views in play.

There's likely going to be someone's parent that disapproves of this relationship for some reason.

I don't see this relationship as one that's particularly easy, in the sense that there are a lot of factors that are out of your control, which try to break you two apart or cause you two conflict. Whether you and your s/o will be able to work with each other to overcome those will be up to both of your efforts in the relationship.

This relationship will also be a meeting of equals, so you both will be quite "equal" in the sense that there won't be a power imbalance. You both could be equally smart or equally foolish. You both could make similar amounts of money too.

#4

This will be a rather chaotic yet dynamic pairing. Somehow there'll be a lot of gossip/news or something related to your relationship. Perhaps this is some office romance that's a bit judged on (i.e. you are dating your boss) or maybe you two seem like such an unlikely pair that people kind of just assume the worst about you two.

I see a strong physical attraction. Sometimes it might even seem like that physical attraction triumphs other parts of the relationship. There will be a lot of physical touch and bedroom activities. If you've never had your 1st sexual experience, then your s/o will likely be the more experienced one. It's not to say that they have fooled around with tons of people out there, but they will have had more dating experience than you.

It feels like one party will be more mature/experienced, while the other seems to be more naive/innocent/inexperienced. There may also be an age gap at play and this age gap can be quite big. Possibly for some of you, this will be the relationship after you've ended a long term relationship or marriage. Possibly for others, your s/o might have been previously engaged or married. Your s/o might even have married more than once before.

This relationship may also have a bit of like..parental feeling? Getting the sense that 1 of you might suffer from issues related to your parents and somehow your s/o kind of takes on the role of a parent that you didn't have. Some people might feel like your s/o is like your nanny sometimes or butler? One of you will definitely be the one that does a lot of acts of service.

#5

There's a very youthful feeling about this relationship. It might even be the 1st relationship that you'll ever have. There's that puppy love/1st love feeling. If it's not the 1st relationship, then it might be that rare serious relationship that you have.

There are very deep feelings within this relationship from both sides - more emotional than physical. Not to say that physical affection doesn't exist here, but you two will feel very emotionally connected with each other. You might even feel like they don't even need to talk to you and they get how you feel and vice versa. I don't see that a lot of communication is needed between you two. Somehow one look or some behaviour will just let you or your s/o know what's going on.

There can be some feelings of possessiveness/obsession with this relationship. 1 of you or both will be rather possessive. That can be bad or can be fine, depending on how it plays out. The possessiveness can sometimes turn into deep obsession/jealousy, which would not be great.

You might feel in this relationship that without your s/o you are incomplete. You feel like your s/o truly understands you. It's possible that 1 of you have had a traumatic childhood/past or both of you have and you two bond because of this. Or one of you will be very empathetic and understanding or somehow maybe even have an occupation as a therapist/healer/doctor that can help your s/o.

#6

Wow there's something really forbidden about this relationship. You or your s/o might both be already in relationships or even in a marriage but somehow you two are very drawn to each other. The lust/attraction is irresistible and even if you or both are already in relationships, you both will still date. Another possibility is that you two are dating when you're not supposed to be like the school/company won't let employees date or you're dating your best friend's ex partner. Or you two come from 2 different religions/ethnicity that traditionally have hated each other. Other possibilities in rare cases could be like incest or bordering incest (i.e. you are in love with your step sibling who doesn't have any blood relations with you or you are in love with your cousin etc). In other rare cases, you may be dating a well-known public figure secretly.

There's a lot of intensity with this relationship. The physical affection/passion is definitely there. There may be like a lot of angst too or suppressed feelings or you know in movies etc where there's a lot of sexual tension but then someone comes and interrupts and so the sexual tension has to be cut short? Something like that.

This relationship while intense may end rather abruptly or have many make ups and break ups. Somehow you both continue to be drawn to each other.

For some there may be some toxic stuff in this relationship - I see a lot of arguments and shouting and then shortly after there'd be intense makeup sex or kissing. A lot of times the physical side of the relationship will dominate everything else, which isn't so good, because the problems of this relationship don't go away.

For this relationship to work, both will need to recognize the issues and want to change and also realize that communication is very important. For some, this relationship will inevitably end for various reasons.

Because of the forbidden element to this relationship, inevitably there can be many misunderstandings and complications.

This relationship, however, will be one that you will definitely always remember - probably the one most dear to you.

[aphrodeiities]

𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔦𝔡 𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔰 [1]

this post also links with my majestic virgo posts so if there's some definitions/interpretations you don't get or think doesnt make sense with ceres; it'll make sense to read that post!

paid chart readings open!

[you can now ask for asteroid ceres for chart readings!]

paid intuitive readings open!

𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔦𝔡 𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔰 1 is about support, nourishment, money, your spiritual skills and where no one can compare to you!

WARNING ⟶ LONG POST

ASTEROID CERES 1 IN THE SIGNS ↴

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in aries ⟶ to have this asteroid in aries shows that people could be really open about the support they want to give you or you could be a very supportive and encouraging person. could quickly intake food and spend money hastily, you might be a very intuitive person as aries rules the head and you can be really good at leading people or could be very good at sports, people might compare themselves to you because of this.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in taurus ⟶ to have this asteroid in taurus shows that you'll be very evident about your support to other people, or for you when you put your mind to something. it may have took time for people to support you, but when they do they become very loyal. could be slow while eating and might be stingy with your food and money. your spiritual skill could be speaking things into life, easily manifesting things and you could be a really good singer or chef! people might not be able to compare when it comes to your beauty, singing or possessions.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in gemini ⟶ to have this asteroid in gemini shows that there'll be a lot of people evident to their support to you, could be the type to tell you affirmations and encouraging quotes, and you could be this to other people. you could be very flirtatious as well. you could be quick with money and intaking food, you could like all types of food as well. you could be someone who is very intuitive, and quick with finding out spiritual things/knowledge. when it comes to things people cannot compare to you on can be your writing skills and intelligence.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in cancer ⟶ to have this asteroid in cancer shows that you might've gotten a lot of support from your mother figure or other feminine figures. even family. or you might've not gotten that support from those people so you give it to other people who deserve it, you can be very nurturing and encouraging. when it comes to nourishment you can be emotionally tied to it, when you feel sensitive you can spend a lot on money or intake a lot of food. when it comes to spiritual skills it could be something genetic but compared to other family members your spiritual skill could be the most raw and talented. and when it comes to things people cannot compete with you is the ability to make a name for yourself in everything you do, very business minded.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in leo ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in leo might've been popular amongst folks and might've easily been able to gather support from other people quickly. or they could be people who do things out of validation; when it comes to nourishment they could be really aware with what they take in due to their figure, and could be handed money a lot or like to flaunt their things. also to have ceres in leo could mean that your spiritual skills could come in creatively, your creations could feel charmed. linking to what people cannot compete with you in, it could include with you having the ability to perform you might always be given credit due to how good you are.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in virgo ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in virgo might've been popular in work-spaces or in their family, might've been an idolised child. might've gotten much support from their family members or learnt to become self-encouraging, could be the type of people to take in small bits og food or just being very aware with what they take in and how they use their money. i have noted in the majestic virgo post that virgo placements are very spiritually skilled and prophetic and they could be unbeatable and incomparable with they music they put out.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in libra ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in libra are very supportive in the relationships they have, and with the connection they have with other people it can get them famous with other individuals and helps them gain support. they can be people who are casual about the things they take in and could be casual about the things they spend, but can spend their money on irrelevant things. the spiritual skills they have feels very bohemian to me, as it is an air sign, they can be very prophetic and might be able to tell what other people are thinking or feeling. and when it comes to things people cant compare these ceres in libra people, have an unbeatable sense of style.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in scorpio ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in scorpio are most likely going to get supported by a mass number of people, and they can sometimes feel overwhelmed by a lot of people supporting them. they can be people who take in a lot of food and are the type to hide food from siblings out of pettiness. they're likely to spend a lot of money or hide a lot of it. their spiritual skill could include of getting numerous of people to become mesmerised by them to the point they would do almost everything for them, and to the point where people cant compare to them? it could be the influence they have over people or the appeal.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in sagittarius ⟶ people who have this asteroid in sagittarius are likely going to have large support by many people, and they're the type of people to give back the support they've received. the type of people to allow it to get to their head, having asteroid ceres in sagittarius can make someone intake a lot of food and spend a lot of money just as they earn it. when it comes to spiritual skills these people are very talented and can be the type to understand many different practices, moving to what people cannot compare to them can include specific topics they're interested in, could manifest them being excellent film directors.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in capricorn ⟶ people who have this asteroid in capricorn are specific about the type of support they give to other people, and might've not received the support they deserve from others. having this asteroid placement could be beacon of someone having struggles with food and with money, or they can be very tight-fisted about both topics. when it comes to their spiritual skills they could've learnt from other people and might've tapped into the ability that appeals to them and when it comes to subjects people cant compete with them on is business oriented things, having the ability of always making cash.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in aquarius ⟶ people who have this asteroid in aquarius are likely going to get support from so many people and are the type of people to give support to those who are rebelling against something. when it comes to food intake, it could be quite erratic, one moment they eat a lot and they second they do not. they could have patterns like this with their money, they could either know how to spend their money wisely or not. when it comes to their spiritual skills, they can be people who can tell what is going to happen in the future, very prophetic, and when it comes to what people cannot compare can be their authentic and original ideas. being ahead of the game and bringing new things to the table.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in pisces ⟶ people who have this asteroid are most likely going to be people who seek out the encourage and approval from other people, or people might want their approval. they're the type of people to be using eating food or spendings lots of money as a coping mechanism. when it comes to spiritual gifts, they're likely the most talented sign, being prophetic and hearing things from the other side. with what people cannot compete with them on can be their glamour, musical skills and beauty.

ASTEROID CERES 1 IN THE HOUSES ↴

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the first house ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in the first house are very likely to be popular people, or strive to be someone who is known for encouraging others. they are likely to have a fit body and might like to eat healthy foods that correlate with their diet. they're the type of people who also look expensive; when it comes to their spiritual skill, they can be people who are very linked to the material and physical world. the type to always know what is going to happen, and people might compare themselves a lot to people who have ceres in the first house, can be seen as role models or as someone to look up to. people might compare their bodies to these people.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the second house ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in the second house feel valued when they're encouraged by other people, might belong to a very supportive family. could be someone who is insecure about the food they eat or amount, or they can be someone who's very giving with their food, same thing can be said about money. when it comes to their spiritual skills it could be genetic, might be able to speak things into reality. and in your family you can be very skilled at money-making, other people might compare themselves to you due to that, could also be because of your beauty.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the third house ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in the third house are very encouraging people. might have very encouraging siblings/relatives or people from social media or their neighbourhood. could have a very versatile taste when it comes to food and can be quick to spend their money. as it comes to their spiritual skills these are other people who can speak things into reality and know what other people are thinking. and they can be skilled at social media, knowing how to be relevant and what people cant compare is their skill of comedy, intelligence and story-writing.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the fourth house ⟶ individuals who have this asteroid in the fourth house are very supportive people, they could come from a supportive family, by depending on the aspects ceres makes, they could've been people who got raised in a family that lacked support. when it comes to food, they can be people who are known to be good cook, and they could be really good at handling money. when it comes to spiritual skills they could be those who can be very empathetic with others and can easily have gut feelings when it comes to intense situations. these people can be really good at interior decorating and cant be compared when it comes to making a home, a home.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the fifth house ⟶ people who have this asteroid in the fifth house are very enthusiastic people, type to be overwhelming with the type of support they give to other people due to them being very generous. they can be abundant with the type of food they give to themselves, might like to eat spicy food. they can be generous with the amount of money they spend on themselves and they could be very giving financially as well. moving onto their spiritual skills, they might be able to make people mesmerised with their performances which could link to what people cannot compare themselves on, these people are made for the stage and could be excellent at dancing.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the sixth house ⟶ people who have this asteroid in the sixth house might be a very encouraging and enthusiastic, person majority of the times. or you could be the type of people who give yourself quotes or mottos to help yourself with the day. you could be someone who is very specific about the type of money you spend daily and even the type of food, might not eat meat a lot, or could fall into the vegan/vegetarian or pescatarian category. moving onto spiritual skills, might be very close to the physical world and being able to make things into reality whenever you put your mind to it, could be very skilled at many things, like handling money, being able to bring money to yourself, at caring for plants or being able to hear things other people cannot.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the seventh house ⟶ people who have this asteroid in the seventh house are likely to be the encouraging partner in a romantic bond, or they could have a romantic partner. they're the type of people to eat only if it'll make their body/ass look good. they can be the type of people to spend money on their partners or to make themselves look good, anything cosmetic. when it comes to spiritual skills, they can be very balanced people, they could have a spiritual gift that a grandparent might've had. they could be seers. when it comes to where people cannot compare, could be the type of partners they have, or their style and how they present themselves.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the eighth house ⟶ people who have this asteroid in the eighth house are likely going to have masses of people to encourage them, people might encourage them to do dangerous/exposing things. they can be quite insecure about the food they have or the type to eat weird things, or spend money on weird/dangerous things. can spend their money on cosmetic surgery their spiritual skill can them being able to see spirits or have dreams where a lot of spirits visit. when it comes to where people cannot compete is their allure, influence over others and sexiness.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the ninth house ⟶ to have this asteroid in the ninth house implies that you can be very generous of the support you give, or people might admire you a lot and support you for almost every decision you make. when it comes to nourishment/food you can take in a lot or give food/nourishment to a lot of people. you can be really good at trading and making money and being noble enough to give finances to other people. individuals who have this asteroid in the ninth house are very spiritually gifted, could have a future spouse that is very prophetic or you might've inherited your prophetic energy from your father. people could be envious of the admiration and attention you get, or you may not like it when people take the attention from you, people may not be able to compare when it comes to your knowledge and screen-writing skills.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the tenth house ⟶ to have this asteroid in the tenth house implies that you are someone who is respectable, might receive a lot of support from your father's side of the family. church/holy place. could be very restrictive about the food/nourishment they give themselves, could be organised with the type of money they spend and give to others. when it comes to spiritual gifts, could be a very prophetic person or might've inherited it from their father's side of the family and people might compare themselves to you because you might become quickly famous, due to your reputation or the occupation you have.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the eleventh house ⟶ to have this asteroid in the eleventh house implies that you are most likely going to gather support from your friends, community or the internet. or you can be seen as that mutual that is really encouraging. your tastes for food can be random, and there might be moments when you either eat a lot or too less, your spiritual skills can include of you being able to dream of the future a lot. and people might compare your internet personality to their own a lot, might compare their friendship group to yours as well.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 in the twelfth house ⟶ to have this asteroid in the twelfth house implies that you are most likely the type of person who isnt really encouraging or you might've had not a lot of encouragement from other people, or you can be someone who is low-key about it. might like to drink more than eat food, could be addicted to eating something in specific. could spend money recklessly and get scammed easily. can be very prophetic, might be able to shift easily, could get a lot of visions, especially in dreams, might be able to get in touch with the spiritual realm. where people cant compare can be in your glamour, spirituality and creativity.

ASTEROID CERES 1 ASPECTING AXIS ↴

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting the ascendant ⟶ having asteroid ceres aspect the ascendant [asc] can give someone a curvy figure, very elf-like appearance as well. people might compare themselves to your features and you could be really connected to the world/atmosphere you're around. if poorly aspected, you can be perceived as someone who is quite shallow and unhealthy. might find it hard to separate realities.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting the imum coeli ⟶ having asteroid ceres aspect the imum coeli [ic] can make someone belong to a very spiritual family, your breasts might be spoken about a lot, might've been given motherly duties at a young age, and could have a very encouraging family, entire family might be passionate to achieve their dreams. people might compare their family to yours and some might want to join yours. if poorly aspected, kin might've come from an over-whelming family and might've been sexualised a lot due to their figure.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting the descendant ⟶ having this asteroid aspect the descendant [dsc] can make someone a cupid or people might play cupid for you and put you in relationships with other people. people might compare their butt/lower body to yours and the romantic connections you're in. even the platonic, this can make them into your enemy due to the envy. if poorly aspected, individual might envy other people's relationships.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting the midheaven/medium coeli ⟶ having this asteroid aspect the midheaven [medium coeli or mc] can make a lot of people compare themselves to you. people might praise and encourage you and your reputation all the time so people might want to achieve your status, could be a religious person or want to be admired a lot. if poorly aspected person might not have the best reputation, could be seen as negligent and reckless.

ASTEROID CERES 1 ASPECTING INNER PLANETS ↴

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting the sun ⟶ with this asteroid aspecting the sun, the person can be seen as a superstar, and as someone who is idolised, could have great intuition and knows how to cook food well and spends money on things that matters. if poorly aspected, might've had a negligent parental figure, specifically father figure. might be too competitive.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting mercury ⟶ with this asteroid aspecting mercury, the person can be seen as someone who knows how to charm anyone and calm people down from anger. might be compared a lot to their siblings/relatives, very mentally agile and always know the right thing to say, if poorly aspected, might have power issues and could talk down on people a lot.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting moon ⟶ with this asteroid aspecting the moon, the person can be widely watched by people, people might depend on them a lot and this person can be very prophetic, might get spoken a lot in dreams, the type of people to find out secrets due to their dreams and their mother might've compared them to a lot of people when they were younger. if poorly aspected, they might always think they know best for everyone and can get overwhelming.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting venus ⟶ with this asteroid aspecting venus, the person could be really encouraging in relationships, the type to stick by their partners for the long run. could be someone who is a really good cook, the type to spend money on things they find pretty/nice, could spend money on their lovers. might have very intuitive daughters if they want children. if poorly aspected, might be someone who cannot be "pinned" down, could be promiscuous or attract promiscuous lovers, might not know how to spend money with a level-head. could attract envious friends.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting mars ⟶ having this asteroid aspecting mars could make people heavily respect you, you might be seen as a "cool girl" or "cool guy", might be perceived as someone who is ardent with their goals. could be someone who is good at keeping fit or someone who is good at sports or physical pleasure. if poorly aspected, could be someone who gets easily tempered, might be forgetful and a lot of men might want to walk over you.

ASTEROID CERES 1 ASPECTING INNER PLANETS ↴

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting saturn ⟶ having this asteroid aspecting saturn can make someone very wise, might eat a lot of cold foods like ice cream, ice in general, might be level-headed when it comes to their money, could have a spiritual gift that they inherited by an ancestor/or father-figure. if poorly aspected, might have owner-ship issues, authority issues, might have low iron issues as well. might not get along with father's side of the family or older people.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting jupiter ⟶ having this asteroid aspecting jupiter can make someone have an abundance of spiritual gifts, they might feel lucky a lot or situations where divine intervention steps in a lot. very musically talented people, could receive a lot of money, could be good at trading and can get along with foreign people, [backgrounds, religions etc], could be widely admired by other people and if poorly aspected, could allow their admiration to get to their heads, might invest in bad things.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting uranus ⟶ having this asteroid aspecting uranus can make someone depend on their society/community they're in. especially friendship groups, they can be the type of people to give food to their friends/community and even money. they can be big on charities and could get a lot of random spiritual downloads about people and future events. if poorly aspected, they're the type to use their power/status for bad, could be an envious friend or could have envious friends that compare themselves to the person who has this asteroid aspect.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting neptune ⟶ to have this asteroid aspecting neptune can make someone depend on themselves when it comes to encouragement. they can be the type to receive good omens to carry on, very spiritually gifted people, could be seers, and they can be someone who likes to drink more than ti eat, and they can spend money on travelling or on some things that are water-oriented. if poorly aspected, a lot of people who compare themselves to them will begin to negatively project themselves onto the individual, these people who have this aspect might spend money all the time and could drown themselves in drinks and food when they feel upset.

♇ asteroid ceres 1 aspecting pluto ⟶ to have this asteroid aspecting pluto can make someone heavily admired by people, people can become very strong about their encouragement to these individuals, these are the the type of people who might like spicy food or just food that are very seasoned. they can get given money a lot and could get a lot of intense dreams about future situations, if poorly aspected, people might get very obsessed with them, might get money by fraud too.

pluto

masterlist

paid chart readings open!

[you can now ask for asteroid ceres for chart readings!]

paid intuitive readings open!

[fandoms--fluff]

Family Therapist

Female vampire reader x Elijah Mikaelson

Summary: Elijah is your husband and you've been basically the family therapist. Well, one night you both became one for his little brother.

Warnings: mentions of death I think?, mentions of ghosts,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elijah and you have been married for well over 400 years and over time you have gotten used to the family's drama and dynamic.

There have been many times when you acted as the family therapist, and let's not kid ourselves, you still are. Just somehow in weirder ways than some may think.

(But let's also be real, you still have to lecture Klaus out of daggering any of his siblings or hurting them 'just because', being the only one who he actually listens to, which is a miracle by itself.)

A great example is what just happened one night.

Surprising enough, this is the first time you've ever been in a situation like this. It's definitely not the worst or anything of it, but this was very different to say the least.

You were sound asleep in your husband's arms until you hear the door to your guys' room slam open. Both of you separate in alert, but the only danger there is, is the body that crashed between the both of you.

"What the?" You said sleepily and reached over to turn the lamp on.

Once the light lit the room in a yellow glow, you both look at the visitor in your bed.

"Kol? What are you doing?" Elijah asks, surprised that his younger brother is there, without acknowledging one of you.

"Oh you know, just missed my older brother and his wife" his voice was muffled by the pillow he pressed his face in to.

"Uh huh, and how does that explain you gripping onto the blanket for dear life?" You raised your eyebrow at the youngest brother.

"Because it's soft?" He asked unsure, rather than answering you.

"What happened?" You kept your eyebrow raised at the immortal teenager, no way for him to get himself out of this conversation now. Elijah saw that look on your face, knowing, now you won't budge until you get the truth out of Kol.

Kol looked up at you, letting out a huff, seeing no way of getting out of this. At least this is better than Nik, he'd just throw him in a box, he thought.

"I swear I saw someone move in my room, but I couldn't find anything, so I came in here to make sure if the ghost comes back there'll be alibis" he rapidly said, and hid his face back into the pillow, feeling his cheeks starting to turn red.

You and Elijah shared a look of concern before your husband placed a hand on Kol's back. "Kol, you don't have to be embarrassed about that, considering your experience with ghosts in the past, you have a right to react the way you did," he told him.

"Lijah's right, we would never judge you about that. So what if you're a bit wary about ghosts, it's normal, a lot of people are" you added.

Kol's breath hitched before speaking, "Really?" He looked up at both of you.

"Of course" You and Elijah nodded.

He smiled softly before a cheeky grin appeared on his face. "Just so you know, I'm not leaving. And if that ghost takes me, I'd rather have my final moments with you guys over Nik, who would most likely yell at me."

He laid his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes, knowing that he was laying between you guys. "I know you guys probably want to be laying together and be all cute and couply, but I don't want to think about you two doing anything over pg-13. My poor innocence couldn't handle it" he said and let out an 'oof' when you smacked him with a pillow for the comment.

"Have you ever even been innocent?" You asked and looked at Elijah with amused eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like a tired father that just had to put up with his child. Honestly, he just did, considering what Kol had just said and he can sadly be even more immature.

"Of course I have...like that time...okay maybe when I was human, but that still counts" he mumbles and sticks his tongue out at you. And he hates it when you call him a child? Really?

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Bangchan x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Chan become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (11,7k words)

Author's note: Season 3 is done! See you on the next season :)

YOU: $0? [Facepalms] So, where do we go from here?

-

The bright sunny day is not working to cheer everyone up after the shocking announcement that there's no money left in the prize fund.

You've been sitting outside with Chan, holding each other's hand and trying to process everything while looking at the beautiful view of the endless sea and the surface of water glimmering under the sun.

Chan has been quiet for too long and it's concerning. You decide to break the silence, shaking his hand and saying, "We spent too much money, babe."

He sighs and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, "Too much."

You don't want to put salt on the wound but it's time to face the the truth that you both fucked up.

"We let them down. We let everyone down," you say with a heavy heart.

He looks at you and sees you in the eyes, "I'm sure there'll be a way to make it up to them."

He doesn't sound that confident with what he said but you're grateful that in a time like this, he tries his best to comfort you.

"And we'll show them that we have a genuine connection," he says with a soft smile.

You return the smile and put your other hand on your clasped hands, "We took a big step last night."

Physical connection is not that new to you but after last night, you can feel that something shifts between the two of you into something that is peculiarly new yet familiar at the same time.

"I feel closer. I feel more connected to you," you honestly tell him the changes you felt.

"That's true," he agrees with a smile that is more brighter and hopeful than before.

You take the chance to comfort him this time and sweetly smile at him, "We got each other," you remind him.

It's you and him versus everyone. For better or worse, through ups and downs, you face it together. You may be at the bottom now but you're sure you both will be back on top, together.

"Always," he says.

He brings your mouth close to his mouth and kisses it, "Since day one."

That makes you take a look back. You've been going through so much together and it makes you realize that with him, you feel like you can do anything.

Together you are invincible.

-

YOU: I feel terrible for what I did but at least, now I no longer doubt the feelings I have for Chris. It feels real now and it's scary... in the best way.

-

In the afternoon, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

Chan hasn't recovered from the announcements from this morning yet so he's not keen to know what's coming his way, he has an inkling that it's not good for him and you.

Just like you read his mind, you place a soft kiss on his neck and wipe the lipstick mark you left on it with your thumb.

"We got each other," you whisper.

Chan is grateful for you, you've been so open and understanding, even though he's a hard-shell type of person, you make it hard for him not to let you in.

The chime comes and Jace gags in response. The melodic chime is certainly, anxiety-inducing.

"The prize fund is currently at $0," Lana announces as if everyone has forgotten about it.

"However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," she further informs.

It's like everyone is collectively letting out a big sigh of relief and getting a breath of fresh air at the mention that there's a way to return some money into the pot.

"I'll commence the first test," Lana continues.

Chan gets stressed once again and so is everyone. Test means he's not doing great, test means that it's not going to be easy, test means bad.

The worst thing that could happen is his name got called by Lana for that test.

Like he manifested it into reality, Lana does call his name along with yours. He sees you look at him and feels bad that he can't show a brave face to you.

"I gifted you watches as an incentive to connect on a physical level for the right reasons. Yet you have shown a complete disregard for my gift and your fellow guests."

He looks at you and you put on a thin smile for him, he puts his arm around you to pull you closer, he needs something to hold on to.

"Therefore, drastic action is required," Lana sternly says.

-

CHRIS: I've messed up. Big time. [Deeply exhales]

-

Deep down, you know you deserve what's coming for you but you don't want to go home, no, not yet.

"You both..." Lana drags her words to heighten the suspense.

You and Chan still have some growing to do as a couple and if Lana is kind enough to let you stay, you'd be very grateful. If not, then... it's not like you didn't see this coming.

You have to own up to your mistakes so whatever happens, you will try to accept it.

"... have 12 hours to prove you can connect on a deeper, more emotional level."

You feel a little lighter knowing that it's not an elimination but it's not time to be relieved yet, you're still waiting for the catch.

"If you fail to get a green light in those 12 hours, your time here will be terminated."

There it is. The catch. This is you and Chan's biggest test yet. There's no wasting time, you have 12 hours to prove or you go home.

"Your time starts now!" Lana announces.

-

YOU: This is going to be a challenge for us. We've never really talked about our emotions.

-

It's going to be harder for Chan.

He realizes he rarely talked about his feelings with you. His default setting is to show affection through actions so he is never good at verbalizing it.

"I don't want to go home," you tell him, cuddling on the sofa outside, "I want to spend more time with you."

He holds your hand and puts it close to his chest, "I don't want to go home either but I just—"

He inhales air and finishes his sentence, "It's not easy for me, talking about emotions."

"We can try," you say with your fingers lightly caressing his bare chest.

You tilt your head to face him, "You know what? I'll start," you volunteer.

He puts your hair away from being blown by the wind and holds it there for you, "Yeah?"

"Remember when we first met and I made you tell your name again?"

He nods as the recollection of it plays in the back of his head.

"I pretended not to hear it because I wanted those lips near me," you confess with a giggle.

He can't tell if you're trying to get a green light or just want to make him feel better, either way, he finds it adorable of you.

You check your watch and pout seeing that it's not turning green, "Well, it's worth a try," you say with a laugh.

As he breaks into laughter, he pulls you close and kisses you on the cheek.

"No need to hurry," you playfully say.

You rub his back and place a sweet kiss on his neck, "We still have like ten hours to get a green light."

That only reminds him to hold you tighter, he needs it more now than ever after knowing that he possibly wouldn't be able to do it again.

-

CHRIS: I find it hard to open up and talk about my feelings. Not sure I can do it.

-

With time keep slipping out of your hand, and your heart is getting worried.

You give Chan space and time to be on his own, organizing his thoughts and maybe it'll help him find the courage to talk about what he truly feels.

You remind yourself that it'll not be his fault if both of you end up getting eliminated. So you let go of the guilt and prepare yourself for the worst outcomes.

Before he leaves for his workshop, you pull him aside and warmly hug him.

"I really like you, Chris," you murmur.

You look up and softly smile at him, "I care about you."

You don't want to pressure him but you want to let him know that whatever happens, you will have no hard feelings nor hold a grudge against him.

"I know it's tough for you to open up but if you weren't ready, it's okay. If we got sent home, that doesn't mean things between us are over, you know that?" You say with a smile.

"I know," he lowly answers.

You stand on your tiptoes to plant a long kiss on his cheek, "Don't pressure yourself, okay, baby?"

He nods and hugs you back, locking you in his big arms because this might be the last time you embrace each other like this.

-

YOU: This is more difficult than I thought. At that moment, I think we might be going home.

-

"That dress looks good on you, darling!" Dani praises you as she watches you checking your appearance on the big mirror in the dressing room.

"Yeah?" You ask yourself why bother looking this good on your last night in the retreat.

"Yes," you suddenly shout.

"I want to look good when I get eliminated," you take a jab at yourself and laugh.

"Nah..." Lola groans, "Don't say that!"

Dani props her chin with her hand and looks at you, "You're going to get that green light tonight," she says.

The boys are back from the workshop not long ago but they're all coming back with paints on their bodies. Chan is still showering and it'll take more time to get dressed.

You're waiting for him by the fire pit, sipping your wine while half-heartedly listening to Pierre, Alicia, and Olivia talking.

As you're sipping on your second glass of wine, Chan comes and holds his hand out at you.

"I believe we have to talk," he says to you.

You put your glass down and take his hand, feeling more nervous now than before.

"I'm rooting for you guys!" Alicia mutters with an encouraging smile.

Chan takes you somewhere quiet and sits on the bench that overlooks the sea with the reflection of the moon drawn on the surface of the water.

There are still three hours left to the time limit but it's never too early to start and try to open up.

"You want me to start again?" You ask because he's been so quiet even after you both get the privacy to talk.

He cracks a laugh and puts an arm around you, "Yeah, sure."

You lick your lips and try to articulate your feelings as best as you can. You look him in the eyes and just pour your heart out to him.

"I like you. I like that I can be myself around you. You understand me, you put up with a lot of shit to be with me..." you pause to let out a laugh, "I'm happy that we became closer."

Chan can't stop smiling as he listens to you speaking your heart out. You can see the fondness in his eyes and you also hope that he gets the sincerity in your words.

"And I think... this is a good chance for us to talk about how we feel about each other," you conclude.

-

YOU: I can tell him more things that I like about him but sadly, time is not on our side.

-

It feels great hearing what you thought about him but at the same time, Chan feels burdened to be as open as you.

He's aware of how much you've shared with him while he gave you so little in return. He owes you a lot and it's time for him to settle that debt.

"You look gorgeous," he starts with a compliment.

You reach for the collar of the baby blue linen shirt he's wearing and compliment him back, "So do you."

You rest your hand flat on his chest and dreamily sigh, "You look good in colors other than black and white, you know that?"

He grins at that and nods, "I'll wear more colors."

"Okay, good," you say with gentle pats on his chest.

It's not time for small talk, time is running out. Chan grits his teeth and starts talking, trying to empty his heart through words.

"I'll be honest with you," he begins.

He sees you swallow air and nods, "Okay."

"I haven't completely opened myself up to you."

"Mm-mmh," you hum in response.

He takes your hand and holds it tightly in his hand, "The last relationship I had..." he refrains from sharing too many details on his past.

"From that relationship, I got myself a trust issue out of it, and as much as I like you, it's hard for me to trust you. I got haunted by my experience with trusting someone with my heart..." Chan takes a moment to collect himself and not lose it completely to his emotions.

"I didn't think that I'd get here and find someone like you in here," he says with a low laugh.

You lowly laugh along with him, "Yeah."

"I feel extremely lucky to find you and I realize now that it's not fair that I compare you with my former partner. She might have caused me a trust issue but that doesn't mean you'll do the same to me," he says.

A smile blooms on your face and he feels your hand in shaking in his hold.

"I genuinely am feeling stronger emotions for you which I haven't felt in a long time," he earnestly says with a sincere smile.

His heart feels so much lighter and emptier now, that only means he has more space for these new feelings he has for you.

Chan's heart is full of warm feelings and other than that, it fills with hopes.

-

CHRIS: It's been such a long time since I've opened up like this with anyone but it feels so natural with her.

-

"I like you so much," Chan says while squeezing your hand in his.

It feels good to know that your feelings are reciprocated. You've been tormented inside and you keep it bottled up inside you, now you can let it go.

"I'm so excited for us," he adds with a smile.

Then the chime comes and you glance at your watch to see that it turns green.

You both did it and you didn't mean to cry but your eyes are like bursting dams right now, tears are flowing down your face. He immediately pulls you into a hug.

"I wasn't ready to go home yet," you croak with tears caught in your throat.

"Me too," he says.

He holds you for a moment and whispers into your ear, "Are we going to kiss or what?"

You completely forgot that the rules do not apply and you're allowed to kiss him. You hurriedly wipe the tears on your face with the back of your hands.

Chan doesn't hesitate to kiss you when you believe you look ugly from crying. He leans in and kisses you softly, brushing his lips as if he were telling you how you feel with it.

Your heart is heavy and quivering as it carries so much love inside you. You like him so much and it feels so good, it's so good that it's scary.

When he pulls away from the kiss, Chan holds your face and looks at you, tenderly wiping your eyes with his knuckle.

He's softly laughing as he says, "I can see now that you're just a baby."

He caresses your wet cheeks with his thumb as he fondly looks into your eyes, "just a baby, my baby," he says.

You pout yet smile at his words. There's no use to deny it when he can see everything now.

"My baby girl," he delightfully sighs and presses a long peck on your lips.

Sure you feel relieved you get to stay in the retreat but the best thing about all this is getting to know each other better, emotionally.

"Good job," you tell him with a smile.

"Good job," he says back to you.

-

YOU: Watching Chris open up and comfortably share his feelings makes me feel like I can understand him now. Also, it makes me fancy him more and more [smiles]

-

Chan didn’t expect everyone to wait for them to come back from their talk.

The resentment they have is nothing compared to the friendship they have sewn in time with both you and him. They look at him in anticipation of whether he passed the test or not. They're tucked in their beds and watch him as he walks to his bed with you trailing behind him.

"So...?" Pierre asks.

Chan can't contain his excitement anymore, he grins and says, "We got the green light!"

Everyone cheers for him and you, clapping with pride. Jace hurls a cushion at Chan as he shouts, "Congrats, Aussie boy!"

Alicia comes to his bed to hug you, "I told you. I'm rooting for you!"

Dani hugs her pillow in front of her and asks, "So, did anyone say anything?" She asks in curiosity.

"She told me she likes me," Chan answers without the slightest of embarrassed saying it out loud.

"Did you say it back to her?" Pierre asks.

"Of course!" He shortly replies.

You lay on your stomach on the bed, facing everyone, "It was really hard to begin with but he opened up to me."

"Aww..." Lola coo in response then lightly applauds for you.

"At least we don't have to worry about them rulebreaking now," Luke comments.

"Because there's no money to spend to begin with," Pierre adds.

Everyone is laughing the shared pain away. But with the promise that Lana will return some money through tests and you both passed one tonight, everyone gets hopeful again.

-

CHRIS: I'm so glad we're making progress. I'm so proud of her and me. We both got so far [smiles]

-

It's like you both got a fresh start at a new life.

Even with zero dollars on the prize fund, you feel happy to get to spend more time with him in the retreat. Yesterday was a torture and that only reminds you to use the time wisely.

But it's not like you can't keep yourself away from him you're smitten, you have butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

After last night, you talk about things deeply and openly, you talk more about your future together that it gets you giddy

You're straddling him on the bed and hovering above him, putting a safe space between your faces. You admire his beautiful face, trailing your fingers on his facial features, eyes, nose, and plush lips that lure you to kiss.

"Now that I'll be coming with you to Australia, where will you take me first?" You ask out of curiosity.

Chan has been resting his hands on your thighs and not letting them go anywhere. He looks up at you and answers, "My home."

You're giggling because your dirty mind can only think of one thing, "So we can—"

"I'll introduce you to my family," he slices through your sentence and takes you aback.

This seems that serious to him and you usually choose to step back when things get this serious, however, you're feeling excited about it instead.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I want them to know about our relationship," he casually says.

"Ooo... relationship," you point out the thing he just said and wonder if it accidentally slipped out of his mouth or he meant it. You bet it's the latter from how he gets so flustered and laughs at it.

"Why? Do you have anything else in mind?" He asks with a sly smile.

You look away from his eyes as he catches on your dirty thought, "You know what I'm thinking."

He sits up on the bed so he can hold you and you wrap your arms around his neck, "Well, before we do all that, I'll lock you in my room and we'll have lots of sex," he murmurs, then places a hot kiss on your neck.

You lowly moan at how his soft lips feel on your skin, sending a tingle down your spine.

"Oh, you have no idea what's coming for you," he seductively whispers with his breath tickling your ear.

He then switches to the other side of your neck and places a longer kiss with his tongue lightly licking the skin, leaving a wet kiss mark on it.

The emotional connection only heightens the sexual tension between you and him yet it feels like you've reached a new level in your relationship.

-

YOU: It's HARD! I like him so much therefore it's getting harder to resist him.

-

"Whoa, whoa, what am I walking into," Pierre says as he busted you straddling him on the bed.

Without getting up from his bed, Chan calmly responds with a joke, "There's no harm in losing more money."

"Damn right," Pierre replies with a laugh.

With someone else in the room, the tension is slowly fading out and you get off his lap, sitting next to him instead.

Chan notices that Pierre is smiling at himself and he knows that there must be something.

"What's up?" He asks while putting his arm out so you can rest your head on it.

"Alicia and I are going on a date later," Pierre replies.

"Oh, wow, that's great, man!" Chan offers his hand for a fist bump.

"I'm excited for you, Pierre!" You add with a gleeful smile.

But instead of bumping his fist at him, Pierre collapses onto his bed. It's the first time Chan sees him being this nervous, "Why are you so nervous?"

You're giggling next to him, "You've been sharing a bed with Alicia for so long," you add.

Pierre groans and holds his head with both hands, "Ugh... I don't know."

"Just do you, enjoy it, man," Chan suggests.

Pierre sits on the bed again now, "Yeah, you're right."

He gives Chan his fist bump now then gets up from the bed, "I have to get ready for the date now. See ya!"

"Good luck!" You shout at him before he gets out of the door.

It must be nice to get on a date with you but Chan understands that he has to earn it here. He looks at you and he can see that you're wishing for the same thing.

"We'll get our time," he tells you.

"Yeah," you reply with a smile.

"Come here! Hug me, baby girl!" He pulls you into a tight hug and flips over so you're under him now.

"I want to kiss you," he says as he looks at you.

You put your hand on his lips and glance at it, "We can't. We have to be good."

It's like the roles are reversed now. It's him playing the bad guy now and you're playing the good girl now.

"You're right," he says, he chooses to bury his head in your neck instead.

-

CHRIS: Lana, we’ve been good so please get us on a date too!

-

Lana throws a party tonight.

You're tired of guessing what she's trying to celebrate and if she has something behind it. The worst has happened, you want to enjoy tonight.

"What are you wearing tonight?" Chan asks while you're drying your hair.

"Uhm... nothing," you mindlessly answer.

He puts his arm around your neck and playfully puts you in a chokehold, making you laugh in response. He then nuzzles his nose into your hair and asks again, "I want to match my clothes with you."

"Aww... that's so cute, Chris!" Lola comments from the other end of the vanity table while putting make-up on her eyes.

You turn your head around and jokingly say, "Then... wear nothing."

He wraps his hand around your neck and tilts your head to the side so he can bite on your shoulder, "Just tell me what color!"

You're laughing as you try to get his hand away from you but he keeps ticking your neck with his nose. In the end, you both settle with his favorite color, black.

You're fixing the straps of your dress while looking at the mirror in the bathroom and Chan is leaning against the sink, running his eyes up and down your body.

"You're so gorgeous," he compliments with a grin and those cute dimples.

He bites his fist when you check the back of your dress in the mirror by turning your body to the side.

"Gosh, I'm the luckiest," he sighs.

You get flustered and say, "Stop it!"

Pulling him close, you turn him around and make him look at both of your reflections in the mirror. Not going to lie, you like what you see.

You turn to look at him and then say, "Damn! We look good!"

He looks back at you and smiles, "We look good together."

Without warning, he puts his arms around you and carries you out of the bathroom.

The party had just started when Pierre and Alicia were coming back from their date. Everyone is being nosy with their questions yet you can't help to get nosy as well.

"Tell us everything!" Lola demands.

From the look of it, Pierre and Alicia look happy and it makes you just as happy for them, everyone seems to feel the same way as well.

"It was nice. We went on a boat and enjoyed the sunset," Pierre says.

Alicia nods along to his words, "Then there was a funny question at the end," she says, then leers at Pierre.

Pierre cracks a laugh before answering, "I asked her to be my girlfriend."

Dani, being the one invested in the story, impatiently asks, "What did you say, Alicia?"

Alicia leers at Pierre again and smiles, "I said yes."

It's like watching a sports game and the home team scores, sending everyone into a celebration. Glasses of drinks raised to the air for a toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" Jace leads the toast.

"To Pierre and Alicia!" The rest repeat after him and take a sip of their drinks.

-

YOU: Well, unlike us... [chuckles] Pierre and Alicia are the most committed couple in the retreat so I couldn't be happier for them.

-

Instead of being jealous, Chan is happy for Pierre and Alicia.

He's happy to see his closest friend in the retreat happy and it's not like Chan is not happy, he is happy with you. He looks around and they're just as happy even though the prize fund is still at zero.

He holds you close and kisses the top of your head, "I'm so happy."

"Me too," you murmur with your head resting on his chest.

The music abruptly stops and Chan kind of guesses what comes next. There she is, the ultimate cockblocker and party crasher Lana.

Everyone already knows where to go and they drag their feet to head to the cabana. You sit next to Chan, putting one hand around his waist and the other clasped with him, resting it on his leg.

The money is at zero now but that doesn't make everyone less nervous, if anything, there's an anticipation for what Lana is going to announce this time.

Chan's heart skips a beat the second the cone lights up, signifying her arrival. She skips on greeting everyone and calls for both of your names.

You look at each other to exchange a mix of panicked and confused looks.

"On your previous test, you were able to access your true feelings for each other, proving to me that your connection is more than skin deep," Lana says.

That's good news and the applause everyone is giving toward both of you confirmed it.

"However, actions speak louder than words."

Chan hates it when that word comes in the sentence: 'however' because that means, Lana has bad news to tell.

"Tonight, you will both be put to the ultimate test, a night in the private suite."

Remembering that you both failed on the same test and knowing you both have to go through it again. Chan feels the pressure already and he sees you wince in response to that.

"If you refrain from breaking any rules, you will win back $100,000 for the group."

Everyone is cheering at the amount of money you can win back from it but your last failure reminds them not to haste to celebrate.

Chan notices a few pessimistic faces among the group and he understands that. But he knows that it's time he pays everyone back for the damages he did to the prize money.

"We'll try to win back the money for you guys," Chan earnestly says with you nodding along in agreement to his words.

"Please, make your way to the suite!" Lana orders.

He offers his hand to help you get up from the sofa and keeps holding your hand.

Jace nods at Chan to encourage him, "Don't mess up, 'kay? You got it!"

"Wish us luck!" You say to everyone for the last time.

-

CHRIS: This is it. This is the big, ultimate test.

-

The second you both enter the private suite, you throw yourself at him.

Thank goodness that he is quick to catch you and steadily holds you against him to keep you from falling. You loop your both hands around his neck and warmly hug him.

You pull away to look at his face, "We can do it," you murmur with a soft kiss on his cheek.

He returns the kiss but his lips land on your jaw instead, "for that to happen, we shouldn't have a bath."

You pout at him and say, "But I still need to have a bath. I'm dirty."

"You are dirty," he says with a sly smile.

You narrow your eyes at him and put your forehead against his, "Are you dirty?"

It's like a deja vu watching you get undressed in front of him, doing it so confidently like he isn't there and looking at your enticing body with dark, lustful eyes.

"You can join me or..." you nonchalantly say as you step into the tub.

"You can just watch," you continue as you lower yourself into the water, flashing him a naughty smile as you lean back in the tub.

Chan has seen and experienced this scene before but he doesn't like how it ended. This is why it's called a test, see if he can take it and come up with a better result than before.

"Atta, boy!" You exclaim as he starts to take his clothes off.

You intently watch him taking every piece of clothing on his body until there's none left. Your eyebrow raises as your eyes flick down there.

"Hi, there," you playfully talk to his semi-hard member.

Everything about you evokes the rebellious side of him, he just wants to do whatever he wants and pleases. He reminds himself that he needs to control himself and the money that he can win back from doing it.

With one foot down in the tub, Chan can already feel the heat of the moment.

-

CHRIS: When it's just the two of us the sexual tension goes...[Sighs] It's high!

-

Jumping onto the bed, you crawl over to get something from the tray of sex toys on the bedside table.

You know which one you want to get and take it with you as Chan dives onto the bed next to you. You waste no time straddling him, "Put your hands above your head!"

He ignores your order and laughs at you instead. He chooses to disobey you so you take both his hands and put them above his head, you cuff them with handcuffs.

"I'm sorry," you tell him with no hint of regrets whatsoever in your apology.

You look at him and smile in satisfaction that he's laying helpless underneath you.

"You've been very, very bad, Chris," you say in a low, sultry voice and run your fingertips down his bare chest.

He takes a deep breath and looks back at you, "I've been bad, so?" He dares you with a smirk.

As expected, he will disobey you and dare you to do things to him. He's enjoying it and you're more than willing to play along.

You crawl over to the side and use the opportunity to bring your ass close to his face while you take another sex toy from the tray.

You sit down on his crotch, intentionally hard, and enjoy the low groan he lets out. You show him the long, leather whip in your hand.

You put the end of the whip under his chin and used it to tilt his head to look at you, "Do you admit to being a bad, bad boy?"

Instead of answering, he bites his lips and fiercely looks at you. Taking him off guard, you slap his chest with the whip.

"Answer me!" You order.

He slyly smiles and refuses to answer again. You start to slap his chest and abdomen with the whip, making heart-shaped marks on his pale skin.

You decide to get off him and lay on your side next to him, "I'm going to keep doing it until you answer me," you taunt him as you drag the end of the whip down his thigh.

You lean into the side of his face and lowly whisper into his ear, "Answer me, Chris."

He shakes his head and you immediately land a slap on his inner thigh twice that he gasps in response. Feeling mischievous, you slip the whip under his boxer and rub him there.

"Will you answer me now, mmh?" You ask.

He catches you off guard now, rolling on the bed and putting his body on top of you. He buries his head deep in your neck while kissing you there.

"Oh..." you breathlessly moan as he bites on your neck.

Chan is always afraid to put his whole weight on you but you don't want to have it another way, so you put your legs around him and let him collapse on top of you.

He looks at you but his eyes are centered on your lips, "Do you want to kiss me, mmh?"

He alternates it by placing kisses along your jaw and finishes it with a sweet kiss on your cheek, "Actually, there are a lot more things I want to do to you."

-

YOU: Our prize fund is zero so that means there's no money to lose... [bites lips]

-

Chan keeps his handcuffed hands in front of him as you unlock it for him. He puts it back on the bedside table and sees you still straddling him.

He pats the space next to him, "Come here so we can cuddle!"

You shake your head and put your hands on his chest, "No, I like it here. I like sitting on top of you," you say with your eyes enchanting him to gaze back at them.

He puts his hands on your thighs, fingers teasing the hem of the short sleeping dress you're wearing, "Is this your favorite position?"

"Uh-huh," you answer and put your hands to hold your hair in a makeshift ponytail.

"You want to be on top, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm good when I'm on the top," you tell him with your head slightly tilted to the side and your lips curl into a naughty smile.

"Is that true?" He asks, allowing his hands to move up to your waist and hold you there.

"I can show it to you," you dare him.

Seeing you straddling him like this only gives him the glimpses of what you'd like fucking him and he bet it'd be so good. Swear his cock twitched just now from remembering how good it is inside you.

Now you're sitting on his crotch and there's only a layer of clothing that separates him from what he wants, he believes you can feel how his cock is achingly hard for you.

"Maybe next time," he kindly refuses no matter how much his body wants to scream yes.

"Why not now?" You ask with a low giggle.

You make it so hard for him that he has to lift you off him and lay you down next to him. Without giving you time to escape, he puts his arms and legs around you, limiting the things you can do around him.

"Stop teasing me," he presses a wet, long kiss on your cheek.

You helplessly try to get out of his hold while giggling but failing.

"Baby," you softly call.

You hold his chin in your fingers and turn your head at him, "I want to sleep naked tonight."

-

CHRIS: The longer they let us alone together, the more I want to do things to her [raises eyebrow]

-

Even after the morning comes, it doesn't mean that the test has been done yet.

Somehow, you wake up naked and find yourself snuggling to Chan who's just as naked. You don't want to force your brain to work just yet.

It seems like he's awake already as he puts his hand on your back and runs his fingers down your back, light and fluttering, lulling you back to sleep.

Realizing that the test is not over yet, he gets away from you only so he can lay next to you and easily places kisses on your bare back.

You delightfully hum every time his full lips make contact with your skin, warm and soft, making you tingle inside.

"You're so beautiful," he hums.

He then starts another trail of kisses from the nape of your neck and down your spine. He stops before he gets tempted to go lower than your waist.

"So soft, so beautiful..." he sighs with so much frustration as if he saw something he couldn't perceive.

Chan decides to prop both hands on each side of you and kisses your neck as he's hovering above you, waking you up with sweet, gentle kisses.

"Wake up, baby," he softly calls you.

Wanting more than just kisses, you pull him close so you can feel him whole, his body on your body, skin-to-skin. It feels rather more intimate than sex.

He puts all of your hair away to the side so he can pepper your shoulder with kisses, "Morning," he says in between kisses.

You smile with eyes closed and croak, "Morning."

There's not much time left in the private suite and you both have to face everyone soon.

"How are we going to tell them?" You meekly ask him, feeling the anxiety already.

He gently caresses your cheek with his knuckle, "I'll do the talking," he simply answers.

You overlap his body with yours and put your arm across his chest, "Can't we just stay here?" You innocently ask with a low laugh.

"We can stay a little longer," he consoles you with a kiss on your forehead.

As much as you want to stay, it's time to face the truth once more.

-

YOU: Last night was... special. The best night I ever had in the retreat. [smiles]

-

While holding Chan's hand, you wake slow walk on the way back to the villa, and meet everyone in the bedroom.

Everyone is looking a bit antsy even though they're still in their beds. They stop talking once they notice you're back from the private suite but they seem to be scared to ask the important question.

Chan gestures to you to sit on the sofa instead of on the bed next to the table where Lana is sitting still so prettily.

Before Chan can open his mouth and speak, Lana gets ahead of him, chiming on the table next to you.

"Last night, you faced your ultimate test," Lana skips the morning greeting and goes straight into business.

"As a couple, if you could refrain from breaking any retreat rules, the prize fund will be increased from $0 to $100,000."

You grimace at that because anything could happen at this point.

"However..."

Lola gasps at the mention of that word and hides behind the duvet. It's your turn to gasp as Lana calls your name.

"Even though you were successful in sexually arousing Chris, he was able to hold firm and respect the rules of my retreat."

Applause and cheers erupt from every corner of the room. You hate that Lana exposed you for what you did in the private suite but it won't stop you from celebrating as well.

"Which means that the prize fund now stands at $100,000," Lana updates.

More cheers and whistles are coming from everyone at the announcement that you both gained half of the total prize money back.

"I am so proud of you, babe!" Dani says to you.

You blow her a kiss as a token of gratitude and look at Chan, he's looking as proud as you are.

"This is what I call growth," Pierre comments with a smile.

"Yeah, that's true," Lola agrees.

Everyone gets quiet as Lana continues talking, "As a reward for showing restraint and putting the interest of the group above your own, you will be going on a date."

You turn to look at Chan and smile, feeling so proud of both of you. You look around the room and ask, "Can I hug him, now?"

They are all laughing before answering, "Yes."

You walk up to Chan and he welcomes you into his arms, holding you so tight while lifting you off your feet.

It feels good to do good and get rewarded for it, you lean close to murmur, "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm so proud of us," he says back with a kiss on your cheek.

-

YOU: The last few days have been so hard for us so I think we deserve this date and I'm just so excited [grins]

-

To be honest, Chan is nervous.

Yes, he's happy and excited for the date. What he's worrying so much about is the talk he'll be having with you and he wants to make sure that he gets his emotions across.

It's important that you know his feelings for you.

His face lights up as you walk toward him, he helps you board the boat to get to the other small island where the date will be.

"Gorgeous," he sweet compliments as he brushes your hair and tucks it behind your ear.

"Thank you, baby," you mutter and take his hand to hold it.

The two of you take a short walk to where the date has been prepared, a cute little picnic with a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice which Chan can easily pop open.

"Mmh... My man is so strong," you playfully praise him.

You take one of the champagne flutes so he can fill it for you, "What are toasting to?"

He thinks for a moment, "Mmh... for passing the ultimate test?"

You chuckle and nod in agreement, "For passing the ultimate test!"

You both clink your glasses together and take a sip of the bubbly wine.

-

CHRIS: We both know that we have a strong physical chemistry between us but I need to know if we have a strong connection as well. I want this to last.

-

The sun is slowly sinking into the horizon, painting the sky with stunning bursts of flaming gold colors.

Even Chan is here, in one of the most beautiful places he's ever been, he thinks that what makes it so special is because he's with you.

"Have you realized that it's been me and you since day one?" Chan asks.

You fix your hair and prop one hand next to you, "Yeah," you answer while nodding.

"We've been going through such... a long journey," he says, emphasizing how rough it has been for the two of you.

You nod again and softly laugh, "You know, with other people, I would push them away and keep moving forward. I never once in my life thought I would find 'that someone'."

This is why he's comfortable around you. He shares a piece and you share one piece of you too, it's never going one way with you. Everything is fair and he thinks this is what good communication is.

"As you know, the last relationship I had... it was ugly but in here, in this retreat, I learned how to confront my emotions and open up to someone," Chan shares his piece of him with you.

You're looking at him with eyes that match the soft smile on your face while tucking away the hair getting blown by the wind.

"Also, this retreat helps me put things into perspective," he continues, "I'm able to show sides of myself that I didn't know I had."

You take a sip of your drink and nod again, "Just like I said when people get into my space, I'd normally push them away."

You put your drink away before continuing, "But the fact that I met someone that I like... that makes me feel emotional and vulnerable."

Chan would be lying to say your words aren't making him feel the slightest bit emotional as well. He can feel the sincerity in your words, they are pure and heartfelt.

"I wonder if we're compatible moving forward in the outside world," you finish.

He takes your hand and holds it in the space between you and him. He then clears his throat before speaking.

"Now it's time where I can tell you and it would be wrong for me not to say this..."

His heart hurts as every bit of emotion is getting squeezed out of him into words but he wants to tell you everything, baring it out for you so you know his true feelings for you.

He looks into your eyes, it gives him the confidence to go on and say, "I genuinely do love you."

You close your eyes and break into laughter, it's not the reaction he hoped for but he waits for you to say something.

"I can't believe I came here and fell in love..." you say with a sheepish laugh.

You stare into his eyes and squeeze his hand as you say, "I love you too."

It feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off his chest. He thought he would be bound and confined the moment those words were out of his mouth, instead of that, Chan feels like he's been set free.

-

CHRIS: When I arrived here, I didn't mean to meet a girl and tell her I love her. I'm a changed man and it's because of her [smiles]

-

Seeing him happy makes you happy.

The happiness only doubled knowing that the feelings go both ways. Never in a million years have you ever thought you would be falling in love with a guy like him.

Chan is a gentleman, he's kind and sweet, he's very thoughtful and caring, and he has everything that you're not looking for in a man.

But he changed you and made you realize that you deserve a better man. Meeting him and being with him is a blessing like a star falls right onto your lap.

"I always told myself I'm better single and do my things, but with you, I feel safe, comfortable, and powerful at the same time," you let your thoughts out loud to him.

You swallow air to not let the tears get in the way of you speaking your heart out to him, "The best thing is, with you, I feel more reassured and that's something that rarely happens."

The way he's looking at you now is the most beautiful view you've ever seen and you want to imprint it in the back of your head. You also want to bottle this precious moment so you can treasure it for life.

Chan has been quiet for a moment then he lets out a sigh, "I feel like I've won the lottery," he says.

This has been a long journey but you're grateful that you come out of it together, stronger and on top of that, in love more than ever.

Both of your watches chime at the same time and you glance to confirm that it's green.

"Oh?!" You look at him with a surprised face.

Chan smiles and crawls over to you, "Thank you, Lana!" He shouts.

The kiss feels special and it's ultimately because this kiss marks the beginning of your relationship, the first one of many, and hopefully, the start of a long-lasting relationship.

-

YOU: I'm the... [squeals] I'm the happiest girl in the world [gleefully smiles]

-

Everyone else is already sleeping when the two of you decide to sneak out to have one final swimming lesson.

Again, it's not a lesson and you both promise to not spend any money. You're doing it as tonight is the last night of the retreat.

Nothing is going to change even when the show is over but it doesn't stop you from feeling sentimental about it.

"It's going to be weird not waking up next to you," you sadly say as Chan hugs you from the back.

He rests his head on your shoulder with his hands wrapped around your waist, "You'll be coming home with me, remember?"

You nod but what you actually meant is how the outside world would be different than here. We have the stupid rules here but everything is much simpler and happier here, you're afraid of losing it all once you step out of this retreat.

"I'm just glad we won back the money," you say, shifting it to a much brighter topic.

"Or else we wouldn't have money for our flights home," Chan jokes.

Your shared waves of laughter are making ripples on the surface of the pool water.

"Who is going to win the money though?" You ask in genuine curiosity.

Chan shrugs in response to your question, "Definitely not us," he says.

Considering that the two of you are the big spenders in the retreat, you wouldn't even dare to think that there's the possibility of winning the prize money too.

To be able to come home with a man you are deeply in love with is already a big win for you.

-

YOU: I don't care about the money. I got what I want, I got my man [smiles]

-

"Good morning, friends!" Lola cheerily greets everyone the second the lights turned on.

Staying up until late last night causing him to feel sleepy, he keeps sleeping with his head buried in the pillow. He can feel you slipping your hands around him to spoon him from behind.

"Morning, Channie baby," you softly call him by his Korean name.

He told you about it last night, the name only his family and his close friends are allowed to call him with that name.

You are, of course, more than allowed to call him that. It feels strange to hear it at first but he likes the sound of it, especially the affectionate tone you're using.

He takes your hand and kisses it, putting it close to his chest as he tries to get a few more minutes of sleep. The sound of the melodic chime is enough to make him refrain from going back to sleep.

"Good morning, everyone!" Lana greets, sounding exceptionally kind even though she speaks in the same robotic voice.

"Morning, Lana darling!" Claire replies with a cracked voice.

"Welcome to the last day of the retreat," she announces.

Everyone sadly groans which is quite shocking compared to the first day of the retreat, now everyone is not wanting to leave.

His head snaps at you and it reminds him to soak up every minute left in this retreat with you.

"I will be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana further announces.

Everyone's ears perk up at the announcement, finalists in 'plural', which means there is more than one candidate to win the prize money.

Everyone else is secretly guessing who's going to win it but with his bad record, Chan chooses to sit back and wishes everyone the best of luck.

"It's the last day!" Luke remarks, still in disbelief of it.

"Let's make it the best one!" Dani adds as she yawns into her hand.

"And let's spend the whole money today," Chan jokes even though he's slurring his words.

"Funny, Aussie boy!" Jace says as he tosses a cushion at him.

-

CHRIS: I fully trust that Lana will choose the right person to win the money and I'm okay that I'm not it, Lana, I have no hard feelings [laughs]

-

"It's the last day so I'm going to wear the tiniest bikini."

Chan hears what you're saying since he's in the dressing room to take something out of his closet.

"Oh my, Gosh!" He responds to what you're saying.

You're chuckling and look at him as he stands across the room, "I'm putting another test on you."

He walks over to your chair and puts his hand around your neck, that way he can angle your head as he pleases. He attacks one side of your face with small kisses.

"Stop being so cute," Claire says as she hollowed her cheeks to apply some colors to them.

"Yeah, stop it before you spend some money," Alicia playfully adds.

Chan lets you go because he needs to go to the bathroom to style his hair, he finds Jace in there, putting his long blond hair into a small bun.

"Who do you think is going to win?" He asks.

It's the third time someone asked him the same question and he'll remain diplomatic about his answer, "Whoever wins I'll be happy for them."

Jace respects his answer and does not further press him to give a name but Chan gets curious about his answer.

"Who do you think?" He turns the table to him.

Jace sits on the edge of the tub and watches as Chan combs his hair in front of the mirror on the sink.

"I think it's you, Aussie boy."

Chan snorts in response, he figures that Jace wants to entertain him with his answer.

"Hey, the one who made a lot of mistakes is the one that is most improved," he defends his answer, proving that he's actually serious about his answer.

"Yeah, nah, I don't think it's me, mate," he refuses his answer to entertain the idea that he has a chance to win it.

"That's just my opinion," Jace says with a nonchalant shrug.

-

CHRIS: If it were up to me, I think everybody would win here but it's not, it's up to Lana. [Shrugs]

-

It's the time in the cabana again.

You're sad that it's going to be over soon but God! You're so glad that soon you'll not be hearing that melodic chime again. It's like hearing a soundtrack to a horror movie.

"Hello, everyone!"

"Hey, Lana," you reply, suppressing your anxious groan coming out of your mouth.

"I have been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," Lana informs.

You can't tell what everyone is feeling right now, it's a mix of anticipation, anxiety or relief, sadness or happiness, everything is there.

"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development."

You wince at the mention of the word 'was' and it brings back your not-so-finest moments in your head.

"The prize fund stands at $100,000."

"Whoo!" Lola whoops, "That's a lot of money, baby!"

"And it was very hard to gain," Chan playfully comments, sending everyone into laughter.

"Like literally," he adds.

You cover his mouth with your hand to stop him from embarrassing himself more and let Lana continue.

"There are three places in the final."

Now everyone is assessing each other for their possibilities to win the money. You're definitely not going to make the cut with how much you spent in the retreat.

-

YOU: It's clearly not going to be us. We're the antagonists in this show [chuckles]

-

"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown personal growth during their time at the retreat."

Oh, wait? Personal growth?

If we're talking about personal growth, everyone can see how much Chan has grown since the first day of the retreat. People would think that it's a biased opinion but you believe that Lana sees it, or you hope so.

"The first finalist is..."

You're secretly praying that Chan's name gets called, it's not much about winning, he deserves to be in the final with the journey he's been through in this retreat.

"Pierre and Alicia."

It's kind of expected and everyone is clapping for them because they deserve it. You watch as they're hugging each other and looking so cute it makes you cooing adorably.

"The second finalist is..."

You continue to pray in your heart for one name to be called by Lana, you even have your hands clasped together and close your eyes as you deeply wish for it.

"Jace and Lola."

Again, everyone is clapping because they're genuinely made for each other, they complement each other in a way like no other.

"The third and final finalist is..."

For the last time, you wish and pray as hard as you can in your heart. You never wished for something this badly so for the first time in your life, please let—

"Chris."

Your mouth hangs open in response while he pulls you into a hug. You're at a loss for words for a moment until he pulls away from the hug.

You get teary as you see him standing up to take his place on the final, feeling so proud of him and the man he has become.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, one of you will walk away with $100,000."

Chan offers his hand at you so you can hold it while he's standing up in front of you. You can't fight the tears that are already pooling in your eyes.

"And the decision will be made by the remaining guests."

"Oh, my God!" You quietly gasp while dabbing the tears in the corner of your eyes.

"Will the shortlisted guests please leave the cabana while the voting takes place," Lana orders.

Chan bends down to hug you since he has to leave. He presses a long kiss on your cheek and caresses your cheek, "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

You nod with a smile, "Okay."

-

YOU: Oh, I don't care if people think that I am being biased but I saw his growth, every day in this retreat. My vote is going to Chris.

-

The dressing room is crowded because everyone is getting ready for the last party in the retreat. Everyone is wearing white per the dress code announced by the staff.

Chan pulls you to the bedroom to have some alone time before he gets to be separated from you because the finalists have their special entrance to the party.

He sits down at the end of the shared bed and then pulls you down onto his lap.

"I can't believe that I'm one of the finalists, it's... mad!" He says in disbelief.

You put your hands around his neck and look at him, "You deserve it, baby."

He takes a deep breath as though he was swimming in deep water. He then runs his hand in your hair and affectionately brushes your hair.

"Whatever happens, I'm happy, I'm winning," he says.

You nod.

"I'm going home with a girlfriend," he shyly says with his dimpled smile.

That gets you flustered as well and it seems like it has just sunk in you that you're dating him now, "oh, shoot, I have a boyfriend now," you say with a shocked laugh.

He hugs you as you both laugh at the sudden realization, he buries his head in your neck to drink in the scent that gives him a sense of comfort.

He allows his hands to trace down your sides and adores every curve of it, "Mmh... You look stunning tonight," he praises.

"Spin for me," he demands.

You get off his lap and elegantly raise your hands above your waist before spinning around on your feet to show him the whole look.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"Oh, love it!" He answers with a dramatic, overwhelmed eye roll.

You sit on his lap again and let him rest his head on your chest, on the soft mounds of your clothed breasts. There are only hours left until the retreat ends but his hands are already getting impatient as they're teasing the zipper of your dress.

"Can't wait to take this off of you tonight," he murmurs with his lips grazing your cleavage as he speaks.

You're lowly humming in response and cradle his head close to your chest, "Anything you want," you tell him.

Those words are sending his mind wandering off and away from his head. He's not thinking about the money at all, all he can think about are the things he wants to do to you.

"You can do anything you want later," you say again with your fingers softly scratching the back of his hair.

"Now that's a real prize," he says with an enthusiastic smile.

-

CHRIS: Winning or not, I'm leaving in love [smiles]

-

You sit next to Claire and Nick as the rest of the guests are waiting for the finalists to come and join the party.

"It's sad, isn't it?" Dani says with a sad smile from the other bench.

"It's coming to an end, yeah," Claire shares with a pout.

You've been meaning to not feel sentimental about it but now everyone is feeling the same way, you can't help but have your say about it.

"It's bittersweet, you guys," you say.

Everyone is nodding in agreement and Luke initiates a toast to start the last party in the retreat. The talk continues with everyone sharing their memories here, happy, sad, or funny ones, also everything in between.

Mac has to abruptly stop talking as the finalists are about to enter.

A round of applause welcomes all five of them. First is Pierre and Alicia, and following behind them are Jace and Lola. Last but not least is your number one man, Chan.

You scoot on the bench to make space for Chan to sit on and welcome him with a hug.

"Missed you," you murmur even though you have only been separated from each other for less than an hour.

He caressingly kisses your cheek and puts his arm around you, you reckon he needs the comfort from how nervous he looks right now.

"Got all my fingers crossed for you," you whisper to him.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh!" You answer without a beat and grin at him.

You hold his face by the jaw and place a kiss right on his dimple, hurriedly wiping the lipstick mark with your thumb after.

The melodic chime comes from the cone and it's going to be the last you hear of her, Lana.

"During your time at the retreat, I have observed you all commit to the process, acknowledge your failures, and show significant change."

You nod and smile, "Thank you, Lana!" You sincerely say from the bottom of your heart.

"The time has now come to announce the winner of the $100,000 prize."

You put your heads together and hold each other's hands on his lap, letting go of everything all at once, and no matter what happens, you are happy with each other.

"Pierre and Alicia, Jace and Lola, Chris, please stand!" Lana orders.

-

YOU: At the end of the day, I'm leaving as a changed person and I'm in a relationship with a man I love. And that's something I have never imagined in a million years. [Brightly smiles]

-

Chan isn't that optimistic he would win the money.

Yet he feels so nervous Chan has to take a deep breath before getting up from his seat without letting go of your hand.

"You got it, baby," you mutter to him with a squeeze on his hand.

He peers over his shoulder to look at you and flashes you a grateful smile.

"Your fellow retreat guests have voted," Lana continues with the announcement.

Chan looks at the other finalists, at Jace and Lola, and the other way, at Pierre and Alicia. He never thought he would be considered as one of the finalists, he's still in denial about it.

"The person in third place is..."

His heart is beating faster and faster he starts to wonder if he's going to have a cardiac arrest.

"Jace and Lola," Lana announces.

Chan's head snaps in the direction of Jace and Lola who are embracing and congratulating each other despite they do not win the money.

-

CHRIS: I'm on the top two... [deeply inhales] not expecting this at all. If I win, it wouldn't be my own because she played a big part in my growth in the retreat.

-

Lana doesn't give him time to relax as she continues to the next announcement.

"Pierre and Alicia, Chris, one of you has been chosen to check out of the retreat with the prize fund."

He squeezes your hand in his hand hard enough that his knuckles turn white. He needs it, he needs something to hold on to.

"The winner who will be leaving with $100,000 is..."

Who doesn't want that much money? But honestly, it's not going to be a loss if he didn't win it. It's been one hell of a journey and an emotional one, he made friendships and experiences of a lifetime here.

"Pierre and Alicia."

He did end up not winning the money but he doesn't feel like losing at all. He's reeling from it and only aware of himself when you hug him so tightly.

-

CHRIS: Couldn't be happier for Pierre and Alicia.

YOU: [Nods] Yep, they definitely deserved it.

-

"Congrats, you two!" Chan takes his turn to congratulate the winning couple.

"So happy for you, man!" He says as he gives Pierre a big hug.

The celebration continues with them popping open bottles of champagne and spraying everyone with it. You hide behind Chan as Pierre is aiming the bottle at both you and him.

"You're dripping!" You exclaim, seeing his face sticky and wet with white wine.

You help by wiping it with the back of your hand while he brushes his hair to the back.

Chan looks around and sees that everyone is having fun and happy, there's nothing he wishes more than his. It's a memory he'll treasure for life.

Everyone settles back to their seats as Lana has one announcement left.

"Your time at the retreat is over and therefore, the rules no longer apply."

Chan is turning to you but you're looking the other way, you walk over to the other side and he sees that you're coming over to someone.

Chan and Luke can only laugh as you share another kiss after the retreat ends with Dani.

Luke has to pull Dani away from you to not let the kiss continue while Chan pulls you from behind.

"Okay, that was hot," He says with an impressed smile.

He puts his arms around you and pulls you close, "But it's my turn now."

You giggle at him and waste no time to kiss him, opening your mouth to let him kiss you deeper, relishing the craving he has for the taste of your lips.

-

CHRIS: We never thought we'd get this far.

YOU: [Nods] Yeah.

CHRIS: [Looks at you] I'm proud of you.

YOU: [Shyly smiles] And I'm so proud of you!

-

The sounds of the fireworks going off startle you and you both turn around to see them lighting up the sky in bright, colorful sparks.

He's hugging you from behind as everyone else is also watching the wondrous view. His heart feels full yet he wants more of it, he knows that the only way he can get more of it is by sharing it.

Chan brings his mouth close to your ear and says, "I love you."

You turn around to look at him with a confused look on your face, "I'm sorry what?"

It's the explosive sounds of the fireworks and the music playing that make it hard for you to hear what he said the first time.

He raises his voice a little louder and says again, "I love you."

"What?" You raise your voice even louder than him against the constant explosion in the distance.

Chan laughs because it reminds him of the first day you met. He can tell you're not pretending to not hear it this time, he tries again by pressing his mouth close to your ear with his hands cupping around his mouth, "I love you!"

You coo at him in response and turn around to face him, "I love you too."

He captures your lips in one long, lingering kiss and lets out everything in him, freely and intensely. He's not afraid to let go now because he knows that's the only way to love you fully.

And no one can stop him, not now, not ever.

-

CHRIS: No more Lana. No more rules.

YOU: [Looks at Chris] And that means...?

CHRIS: Get in here!

YOU: [Kisses Chan] [Moans]

CHRIS: [Let go of the kiss] [Looks at the camera] Can I go now? Cause she needs to be f—

-

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[anonymityisfunwriter]

our day will come.

a.n. someone needs to take away my amy winehouse records asap. or don't, if you like these angsty little fics.

summary: you tell him over and over again, your day will come. you swear it will. the sun will shine on you if he gives it time. your day will come. one way or another. pairing: bucky barnes x reader cw: character death and major angst Bucky Barnes Masterlist | AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

4 years ago...

you rest your forehead against his forehead, tucking strands of his long hair away from his face, "don't fall in love with me yet, soldier."

"why?" he grunts, his fingers tightly gripping your waist.

"because it's not our time. not yet." you rest your hand on his chest, keeping him at arm's distance. "because our day will come, and what a glorious day it will be."

3 years ago...

"you're upset."

he faces away from you, his shoulders rising and falling with angry heavers. you reach for his shoulder, steadying them. "am i not supposed to be?"

"no." he turns to face you, his jaw tight, his face weary and worn. you cup his cheek, doing your best to soothe the worry he wears on his face. "our paths will cross again. our day will come."

"and until then? what am i supposed to do knowing you're out there fighting and i'm stuck here in cryo?"

"you have faith, my love."

he rests his hand against yours, the one caressing his cheek with a gentleness he had long forgotten. "i thought you said we weren't supposed to fall in love yet."

"our day will come." you swear it will. "one day, the sun will shine on us. just be patient."

2 years ago...

"bucky," you sigh. your eyes flash to your packed gear. "my love, it's simply not our time yet."

"you keep saying that!" he shouts in frustration, sitting at the edge of his bed in his wakandan hut. "when will it be our time? when will it be our day?"

"i don't know," you admit.

he cups the back of your neck. "we're waiting for a time that may never come. what if this is all we get? right here and now? what if this is our time?"

"we'll know when it's our time. it will come," you insist. "i'm sure of it."

his pleading eyes bore into yours. "how do you know that?"

"i see it. in my dreams. in my heart. it's right over the horizon. one day, we'll feel the sun shine on us."

"dreams aren't always our reality," he reminds you. "there's always going to be another fight around the corner."

"perhaps." you softly exhale, a sad smile pulling at the corner of your mouth. he takes your hand, urging you back to his bed. "but it won't be our fight anymore. our battles dwindle day by day. and right now, our battles force us into a goodbye. it won't be forever. one day, our fates will align."

you lie beside him. you can tell he doesn't quite believe you. he strokes the hair from your face, stroking your cheek with his calloused fingertips. "what will it look like? our day?"

you can see it in your mind. even if he can't.

a day without war looming over the horizon. a day where he could lie beside you without worrying about your next goodbye. a day when you could look over at his sleeping face without cuts and bruises, from battles you were fighting both alone and together, privately and publicly, marring his peace.

a glorious day, indeed.

"it'll be beautiful," you explain, resting your head on his chest. you listen to the steady beat of his heart, he strokes up and down your spine in perfect synchrony. "there'll be no more tears, no more pain or heartache. and we'll always stay like this. we'll have everything. we'll know the joy of falling in love over and over again. we'll know it every single day."

"what if i've already fallen in love?"

"one day falling in love won't hurt so much. one day we won't need to say goodbye." you lie with him, holding onto him for as long as you can. your next goodbye is so close, his arms around you only wards them off for so long, but it wouldn't always be like this. you were sure of it. "our day will come, my love."

1 year ago...

you don't realize it until it's too late, until the damage is irreparable. he sucks in a breath, clutching his bloody abdomen. he sinks to his knees, falling in a heap.

"bucky?" you scream, scrambling to his side. you lean over him, descending into a full panic. your heart crumbles along with the future you planned with him, all before your very eyes. "no, no, no! please, please, please."

your hands search for the wound through the gushing blood. he's losing too much too fast. even for a super soldier.

his jarringly cold hand, a terrifying deviation from his normal warmth, reaches out to stop you. he grips your trembling hand, holding it tightly. he strokes calming patterns into the back of your hand. he's accepted what you never would. his time has come.

tears burn, slipping down your cheeks. "no. no. it's not your time. please."

he looks up at you, smiling. all the years of worry, of agony, of torment have melted off his face. he looks at peace as he lies in a pool of his own blood. his flesh hand rests against your face as he mutters his last words, "our day will come, my love."

now...

a choked whimper leaves your mouth. you look down, watching blood slowly soak through your shirt. a single shot. right between your ribs.

the agent responsible takes off, leaving you all alone. you went off on your own. no one was coming to save you. not this time.

you slump to the ground, your head lying against the hard pavement. your eyes squeeze shut, feeling as the life drains from you.

the warm whisper of a summer breeze tells you to not spend your last moments on this earth shrouded in darkness like you'd done for the last year, it tells you to open your eyes, so you do.

brightness bursts forth as you smile up at the blue sky, the sun finally shining down on you. it reminds you of him, of the blue eyes you held so dear. it reminds you of your promise to him. a day that would shine brightly on you, a day for only the two of you.

you’re on the brink of fulfilling your promise.

you lie on the ground, staring up at the sky. tears fall from the corner of your eyes, down to your ear. you look over at the vast, unending horizon, just like you pictured all those years ago.

you smile as warmth consumes you. it's as beautiful and glorious as you promised him it would be. “our day has come, my love.”

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[clarionglass]

so i have been bitten by the sam reich!master bug courtesy of some phenomenal art by @northernfireart and uh. as is too often the case i had to write something otherwise if i didn't get it out of my brain i would go absolutely insane

(there may be more vignettes coming if i have ideas..... there are definitely other episodes i'd like to give the Treatment to, plus with the new dw series coming out on the weekend i may have ideas for how to incorporate the dw gang! however, i promise neither more writing or no more writing. that said, this was a lot of fun so there'll probably be more at some stage :D )

this has full spoilers for the game changer ep "escape the greenroom", but hey that's been out for a while now so,,,, if you haven't seen it i'd highly recommend it as an episode!

so, without further ado:

--

Samuel Dalton was a complete fiction, of course, but that didn't mean that when Sam Reich snuck back upstairs to get tied up in the “out of order” bathroom, the Sam that remained on the monitor, laughing at the contestants, was a pre-recording. And if Brennan, Siobhan and Lou had snorted at the idea of a time-travelling evil magician great-grandfather (for good reason), going in with the actual truth of the matter would have sounded like jumping the shark.

It sounded bizarre, but the time travel bit was the only part about his new partner in crime that was confirmably real. Admittedly, the jury was still out on “evil”—he gave off a weird vibe at times, but so far, no lines had been crossed, and it had all been funny as hell—so for now, Sam was willing to roll with it. But perhaps most surprisingly, there wasn’t even the possibility of blood relation between Samuel Dalton Reich and the guy who had shown up out of the blue one day with his exact face and a plan to really fuck around with things on Game Changer.

Yeah, the whole alien thing had really ruled out that particular prospect.

There had been various bits and pieces of confirmation that this guy wasn’t human through the time Sam had known him, but the final nail in the coffin for that one was when his doppelganger had looked him dead in the eye and tried on one of the heart rate monitors—sorry, “range extenders”—for As a Cucumber. The damn thing had literally sparked up, then died completely. Trying to process input from two separate heartbeats at once would do that, apparently. 

His doppelganger was a Time Lord, or so he had nonchalantly said one afternoon in casual conversation, though Sam still wasn’t sure if that one was a joke or not. It was hard to tell, sometimes, because he said the wildest things with the straightest face, and so far, most of them had turned out to be one hundred percent certifiably true. The time travel, the space travel, even the changing faces thing—it sounded objectively insane, but the proof was undeniable. 

There were some notable exceptions, though. Saying he’d been trapped for aeons inside Neil Patrick Harris’s gold tooth went just that bit too far to be believable, though Sam did appreciate his double’s slightly warped sense of humour.

It was that offbeat line of thinking that lent itself well to game design, as it turned out. He had a knack for coming up with ideas for Game Changer episodes, albeit with the occasional suggestion that went way beyond the bounds of good taste, and, as in the case of Escape the Greenroom, had devised some blinding twists on concepts Sam had already half-formed. The letter puzzle unlocking the secret door? It was perfect.

Understandably, Sam’s doppelganger had wanted to observe the fruits of their labours in real time, rather than watching the recording later. It happened, sometimes, particularly when it was one of his ideas that had made it through to the episode list—they’d swap places for a session, with nobody being any the wiser. Watching those edits back always felt a bit weird—it was uncanny how flawless the mimicry was—but hey, the guy was right. It was always fun.

Escape the Greenroom, specifically, with its “Samuel Dalton” conceit, provided them with a unique opportunity. Instead of swapping out the camera feed for a recording when the cast piled into the tiny secret room behind the wall, as per the original plan to get Sam in position to be discovered in the bathroom, they could just swap out the people. Sam would go upstairs, and his double would take his place at the podium, ducking out of sight when everyone came back to the main stage to “defuse the bomb”.

Sam was keen—hell, if their situations had been reversed, he’d want to be there to watch, too—but caution raised a flag. “You don’t think it’s too risky?” he’d asked when the subject was first raised. “Both of us being in the same place?”

His doppelganger had shrugged one shoulder with supreme unconcern. “The crew won't notice.”

At the time, Sam had shot him a sceptical look, but right now, Sam-Reich-in-a-purple-tie and Sam-Reich-in-an-orange-tie were standing backstage post-record, clearly visible and and calmly chatting, and not a single member of the crew had given them so much as a second glance. 

…Hardly even a first glance, come to think about it. If anyone looked over their way, their eyes seemed to… not exactly go through them, but slide over the two of them like water. He was tempted to wave to Nico or Ash or someone, just out of pure curiosity, but something in the back of his mind told him that wouldn’t be the world’s greatest idea. He had a funny feeling he wouldn’t like to see what would happen next.

(He’d given the prop bomb back to the crew once the cameras stopped rolling, and though it looked the same as the one he remembered from before he’d headed upstairs, it felt different in his hands. Heavier, more… serious, somehow. He was sure nothing would have happened—but at the same time, he was suddenly very glad that the cast had cut the correct wire with no less than a minute fifteen to go.)

(The jury was still out on evil, after all.)

“Worth coming in for?” he asked instead.

“Absolutely,” his double replied with relish. “Locking those three in a small room for an hour? Brilliant, fantastic. Inspired. It was absolute chaos.”

“Have you seen up there?” Sam asked, a smile starting to spread across his face. “They messed up the set real bad.”

His doppelganger smirked at him. “You know it took literally two seconds from you telling them to escape the greenroom for Lou to smash that guitar?”

Sam shook his head. “Oh my god. Yeah, they were stressed.” 

“Mmm. Some real panic in that room,” his doppelganger agreed, and Sam chose to ignore the faint note of satisfaction in his voice.

He shifted his weight, settling back to lean against the table behind the set, in the exact instant his double decided to do the same thing. It really was freaky how similar they were, down to the smallest mannerism—like looking in a mirror, only weirder, because the face that looked back at him was truly his own face, not mirror-reversed. Even now, it still caught Sam off guard from time to time, but at least it had faded into a more comfortable kind of strange. He had an exact lookalike who was an actual time-travelling alien. Cool. Doesn’t everyone?

The pair shared a companionable silence for a few moments, before a thought Sam had been turning over for a while rose to the top of his mind. He shifted again, this time on his own, and he felt his double’s regard swing up to fix on him like a magnet. 

“Okay, real talk,” he started, and his doppelganger frowned back in an approximation of confused innocence. “What’s all this for?”

“Who says it has to be for anything? Aren't we just having fun?”

Sam hummed, considering. “Yeah. No, I'd believe that, if I didn't sometimes walk into production meetings and find out I'd apparently been very specific about the people I wanted for certain episodes.”

“Point for Sam,” his doppelganger acknowledged with a grin. “You got me. Wasn’t hard to make a few phone calls on our joint behalf.”

“Yeah, but why?” Sam pressed. “I mean, Siobhan, Brennan and Lou are always great comedy value when you put them together, and it was awesome to have them for this, but I get the feeling you’re thinking of something other than making good content.”

“Who, me?”

With that, his double gave him a look of such overdone pantomime innocence that Sam suddenly and thoroughly understood why, not half an hour earlier, Brennan had very seriously threatened to push him down the stairs. 

He rolled his eyes, which earned him a smirk for his troubles.

Dropping the act, his doppelganger continued. “I’m expecting an… old friend, I guess, to show up at some point, and—well, I’d like to put on a really special show for them. I thought it would be a good opportunity to try a few things out, you know?”

Ominous pause aside, that was actually kind of sweet. Sweeter than he’d been expecting, that’s for sure—he was half anticipating the revelation that he and his cast were subjects in some weird experiment. Hey, that still couldn’t fully be ruled out, but still.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “Well… just let me know, next time? Before you start ordering in my cast like takeout?”

“Who says they’re your cast?” his double shot back with a twinkle in his eye, and Sam snorted.

“Fine. Our cast, then. But seriously, let me know?”

His doppelganger nodded, which, if not quite fully convincing, was good enough. 

“Oh, and do you know when your friend might be arriving?” Sam asked. “Because if you wanted to plan something, we can—”

“I don’t know,” his doppelganger interrupted. “So yeah, we’ll have to move fast when they do get here. But I’ve got it under control.”

He broke off, then shot Sam a mischievous grin. “In the meantime, though, I’ve had this fun thought about time loops…”