#david sheff

[tavolgisvist]

'Just call him on the phone'

Q: Aside from the millions you’ve been offered for a reunion concert, how did you feel about producer Lorne Michaels’s generous offer of thirty-two hundred dollars for appearing together on Saturday Night Live a few years ago?* A: Oh, yeah, Paul and I were together watching that show. He was visiting us at our place in the Dakota. We were watching it and almost went down to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into a cab, but we were actually too tired. Q: How did you and Paul happen to be watching TV together? A: That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him**, “Please call before you come over. It’s not 1956, and turning up at the door isn’t the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.” He was upset by that, but I didn’t mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day, and some guy turns up at the door … But anyway, back on that night he and Linda walked in and he and I were just sitting there watching the show, and we went, Ha-ha, wouldn’t it be funny if we went down, but we didn’t. Q: Is that the last time you’ve seen Paul? A: Yes, but I didn’t mean it like that.

<...> Q: You say you haven’t really listened to Paul’s work and haven’t really talked to him since that night in your apartment— A: Really talked to him, no, that’s the operative word. I haven’t really talked to him in ten years. Because I haven’t spent time with him. I’ve been doing other things and so has he. You know, he’s got twenty five kids and about twenty million records out — how can he spend time talking? He’s always working.

(John Lennon, 1980, All We Are Saying, David Sheff)

*It was in 25 April 1976 **it was in 26 April 1976

Well, when I, when I was Just a little baby boy, Every night, every night I would call, Because your number, you know, Brought me such sweet joy. I've called your name, John, Every night since then But I ain't never, no, no, never Heard you calling me, My sweet, sweet babe, So, you know, you better call me back again, I call your operator but I still can't get through to you, Call me back again

(Call Me Back Again, presumably, 10 June 1976, Seattle)

Tell me, is she everything i see Or is she really not the one for me? We know, and though some may disagree But do they know the way we want to be? <…> Building something One thing made to last And holding something Special from the past And do I still believe in stories we've been told***? Are all the things she brings me worth their weight in gold? Oh yeah, (oh yeah) pure gold

(Pure Gold, Paul for Ringo, 1976)

***I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another.The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream’. So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out’. So the message of that dream was: keep digging lads.'

(Paul McCartney to The Big Issue, Feb. 2012)

After you've gone And left me crying After you've gone Ain't no deny You'll feel blue You'll feel sad You'll miss the dearest pal that you ever had

There'll come a time And don't you forget it There'll come a time When you'll regret it****

Someday when you grow lonely Your heart will break like mine You want me only After you've gone After you've gone away

(After You've Gone, 1977, Paul's version - 'just for fun' as he said - of a 1918 popular song written by Turner Layton and Henry Creamer, and it's Frank Sinatra's (and Sophie Tucker!) version.

****the line 'Don't you forget it/When you'll regret it' reminds another old (not as old like After You've Gone but old) song -  I Love You And Don't You Forget It by Perry Como. The song, what our lads were singing in their early years so playfully:

Klas Burling: Tell us something about how you find a song… how you get the idea about a song, to write it down. John: Well, sometimes it's the words first, and then the music after. Klas Burling: Very often you've got a title, you know… Me and you, and everything like that? Paul: Yeah. We try to do that, to make it personal so it's… so we really mean it. When we sing a thing about 'I love you,' it's easier. John: (singing) 'And don't you forget it!' John & Paul: (singing together, jokingly) 'I love you and don't you forget it!' Paul: Well, you see, it's easier than singing something about the cat that lives on the hill, man. (laughter) Paul: It's a lot easier just to sing about what you feel yourself.

(August 23 1963, interview with Klas Burling)

Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday I used to hold you in my arms And now a baby, and a another on the way [Indescernable] in a farm Now must we be alone? If it don’t feel right, don’t do it If it don’t look right, look right through it If it don’t feel right, don’t do it Just call him on the phone

(John Lennon, Real Life, Feb 1977)

We'd had a bread strike over here***** and I rang him and I was saying, What are you doing? He says. I'm baking some bread.' 'Oh! Me too.' Imagine, with the stereotypes, John and Paul talking about baking bread.

(Paul McCartney, May 2001, interview for Mojo magazine)

*****a bread strike in England was in Nov 1978

Q: Do you regret that your life has become so public? A: I realized that a good fifteen years ago. I remember actually thinking when I went on holiday somewhere, ‘God I’d really better start thinking now about keeping a few countries aside where we don’t sell records. I won’t be able to go anywhere without being recognized.’ But now I think, ‘Really, I’ve reached the point of no return. There’s no going back.’ Even if I didn’t want to sing anymore, I’d just be like Greta Garbo or Brigitte Bardot. They both retired but you’d never know it. John said this to me a year before he died. He said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.’ That’s the way I look at it. I wished for all this and I got it. To regret it would mean I’d have to sit here and live with negative thoughts about it. I know that would only sink me. Even if I had feelings of regret my personality would not really let them out. ‘Look mate, you don’t regret it. Look on the other side,’ that’s me. Not to sink. I always used to do that instinctively, and not allow too many negative thoughts to surface.

(Paul McCartney, April/May 1982, interview for Music Express)

The couple of years after the Beatles broke up it was very touchy because I think we suspected each other of business manoeuvres. So anyone would ring up, it would be like, “Why is he ringing?” And when you put up the defensive like that it’s very difficult to say, “I’m not! Honest!” You just don’t know where to put yourself. So we had a lot of those ups and downs for quite a few years. But the favourite thing was that if ever we talked not business – and what we ended doing, actually, was make a rule not to talk business on the phone – and on those occasions, we had really good vibes, man. And it was great; we just talked kids, we talked family, we talked cats, we talked life, rather than, “oh, what songs are doing with x business affair?” And one of the great things for me, one of the consolation prizes after John was killed, the only thing– you know, you find yourself holding on to little bits of wreckage to keep yourself afloat. And with me it was the fact that our last phonecall was really one of the best we ever had together; it was really warm, we were really friends again.

(Paul McCartney, 1984, interview for CBS Morning News)

Q: Do you remember your last conversation with John? A: Yes. That is a nice thing, a consoling factor for me, because I do feel it was sad that we never actually sat down and straightened our differences out. But fortunately for me, the last phone conversation I ever had with him was really great, and we didn’t have any kind of blowup. It could have easily been one of the other phone calls, when we blew up at each other and slammed the phone down. Q: Do you remember what you talked about? A: It was just a very happy conversation about his family, my family. Enjoying his life very much; Sean was a very big part of it. And thining about getting on with his career. I remember he said, “Oh, God, I’m like Aunt Mimi, padding round here in me dressing gown”– robe, as he called it, ’cause he was picking up the American vernacular –“feeding the cats in me robe and cooking and putting a cup of tea on. This housewife wants a career!” It was that time for him. He was about to launch Double Fantasy.******

(Paul McCartney, Dec 1984, interview for Playboy)

******Double Fantasy released 17 November 1980

I was lucky. The last few wee... months that he was alive, we’d managed to get our relationship back on track. And we were talking and having real good conversations. Real nice and friendly.

(Paul McCartney about This One, interview with Bernard Goldberg for the TV series 48 Hours, 1989)

[toalltheangels]

Have you seen my beautiful boy?

I have my very own beautiful boy, hope he's okay out there

[admireforever]

Beautiful Boy

[elysian101]

If you could take all the words in the language, it still wouldn't describe how much I love you. And if you could gather all those words together, it still wouldn't describe what I feel for you.

• Beautiful boy

[johnnyhatesducks]

[ruffsabbath]

Saddest but most relatable movie ever.

[addictivecontradiction]

Beautiful boy, 2018

[pmak2002]

I watched Beautiful Boy with a Friend of mine who also loves Timothee but hadn’t seen it before.

I thought because I watched it before it wouldn’t hurt as bad

Nope it was almost worse because I knew what was going to happen.

Despite how sad it was my friend liked it and once again we had the conversation about Timmy didn’t win an Oscar for anything of his work yet not even this.

My soul was crushed again by this film.

💔

[rainbowfunks]

beautiful dilf

[annikamaja8-blog]

"why does it help to read others' stories? It's not only that misery loves company, because (I learned) misery is too self-absorbed to want much company"

-David Sheff, Beautiful Boy

[spooksalotnoel]

The tragedy of Beautiful Boy

Want to start off with a TW, I'll be covering topics of drug abuse, addiction, and death.

I watched Beautiful Boy just a month or two ago for the first time. I saw this movie again just a couple of days ago. I debated on whether or not I wanted to write a post on this movie. I felt as though I couldn't really capture what it is. Instead, I've decided to talk about my experience with addiction and how it's affected me. And I will be relaying that to the movie.

For starters, went into this movie wanting to learn more about how my father felt as he was the addict. My father passed on my birthday from an OD. Watching this movie, I thought, "wow, I wish he didn't feel so alone". At the time of my father being present I couldn't comprehend why he couldn't just stop. I'd never fault my father; he was the best of the best. I know what was happening to him was something he just couldn't control. I had endless love for him, and the real beauty about this movie is that it really showed me what I couldn't see.

I messaged my stepmom who is a recovering addict, she's been sober for 6 1/2; 7 years. I wanted to know how she felt about the movie. I learned that it's hard wanted to stop but not mentally being able to. I also learned that the film, to her at least, was pretty relatable. Like I said before, I can't put into words how much I appreciated this movie. I can't convince you it's good either. I got another opinion from my grandmother. She said it was way too long and it dragged out. Thats when I realized something, this movie cannot touch you if you aren't sensitive to this topic. My heart breaks for those who have gone through loss, addictions, drug abuse. This movie was a huge lesson for me, and I don't regret watching this.

I'm sorry for such a deep post, I hope this reached someone who needed it. I am not sure if I will keep this up, but know you are loved.

[eyluvu]

New beautiful boy fic :)

PLEASE PLEASE HELP IT ONLY HAS 3 HITS I NEED MORE

[admireforever]

Beautiful Boy

[unhingedfrnke]

"I look at his sullenness and anger and vacancy, his retreat and his turmoil, and I think, Who are you?" - David Sheff

[thansxplace]

"It's better to fade away like an old soldier than to burn out. I worship the people who survive. I'lI take the living and the healthy.”

- John Lennon

[quynhorlose]

you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the same old nic you’re just the sa—