#but there’s definitely self deprecation there and THATS MORE RELATABLE

[nerdyenby]

Anyone else create and consume very different content? Maybe it’s because the content I consume is well done and made by cool people and mine is made by me but I dunno

[your-dead-european-ancestor]

Okay my brain wont shut up about them soooo,,,

Normal Club Hc!!!!

Has a meeting every saturday and sunday (virtual or in person depends on where they are) where they discuss all the Weird Stuff their team gets up to

The meetings usually ends with them doing Weirder Stuff

They have a group chat called 'were so normal haha' filled with indistinguishable memes and vent text about their teams (or coaches lol)

Lots of inside jokes that are very cryptid. E.g. : "remember. The Waffle Incident"

"Okay but is it as bad as The Great Purge of 3:47?"

Ja nein is self destructive. Tiger has no sense of self preservation. Chuck is just trying to keep them both alive

Both chuck and tiger forgets to eat sometimes so ja nein is the one to remind them

Despite everything tiger is the most emotionally intelligent of the group. So if they have questions about team relations (or just relationships in general) they go to him

Chuck is the only one who knows how to drive a car. Tiger is the only one who knows how to ride a motorcycle. Ja nein is the only one who knows how to ride a bike. Theyre each others modes of transport<3

Somehow they all know how to drive a tank

Self deprecating jokes. And dark humor

Tiger talks like a 13 yo gamer boy. Hes slowly corrupting the others. One time chuck yelled "FUCKING LIT" when toni fell down the stairs. It was awesome

Both tiger and ja nein are in happy healthy relationships (w/ miko chen and uber respectively ofc<333) and so they like to set up chuck with random strangers they see

"Hey!! Youre very pretty!! wanna date my friend?"

"You seem cool. Are you single? Because my friend is definitely interested"

Chuck is in the background frantically shaking his head

Chuck is the mom friend

They call ja nein jane bc they think his nickname is ridiculous. Yes more ridiculous than fucking twisting tiger. Ja nein pretends to hate it but he doesnt really care either way

Tiger is gremlin insane. Ja nein is babygirl insane. Chuck is done with everyones shit (and also insane)

Both ja nein and chuck are relatively the same size and tiger likes oversized clothes anyways so they often steal and swap clothes with each other

Got matching piercings at Claire's bc thats what besties do

Ja nein is the only one allowed in the kitchen

Tiger: okay but what if-

Chuck: absolutely not

Ja nein: no no lets hear him out

Very protective of each other in a 'only i can insult, hit, kick, fight, and criticize them' kind of way

Genuinely best friends. The most ride or die friend group youll ever meet

[kendrixtermina]

Talking Style by Enneagram Type

I hadn’t put these on tumblr & it occurred to me that I probably should  

1: ‚Teacher-like‘ – sermons, lecture, life advice, evaluation, criticism, moralizing, matter-of-fact, straightforward, improvement suggestions, detail corrections, admonishing, enforcing rules, Voice of Truth(TM), expressing visceral disgust or outrage at bad deeds, lots of „shoulds“ and „oughts“, reminding of obligations, „thats not right/fair“, ultimatums and yes/no questions, focus on coming up with clear plans of action – they also ask advice & feedback more than other types.

2: friendliness, effusiveness, flattery, complimenting, personal, establishing rapport, supporting, checking on you, comforting, sympathizing, pitching in, offers, virtue-signalling, emphasized emotionality sometimes to the point of theatrics, giving advice sometimes to the point of seeming a bit pushy or bossy with it, laments on yours or a third person’s behalf, postive reinforcement, second person language

3: confident, professional, smooth, efficient, goal-focussed; self-presentation, mentions archievements, sucess stories & activities, what theyve been doing recently, promoting, boasting, motivating, encouraging, extolling, „advertising/selling“, praising, pushy, impatience, appeals to common cultural symbols/emotional associations like movies, job stereotypes, celebrities etc., plans, actions, short & useful questions, future oriented language, encouraging action & movement

4: Lamenting, yearning, longing, extolling somethong they idealize, whining. „bitching“, Breathy voice, Ellipses or trailing off, disdainfully lambasting while drawing distinctions. („Not like those people“) Lots of adjectives. Poetic/affected/deliberate phrasing, flowery, larger than life language. Regrets & talk of shortcommings. Talks about self & own experience, personalizes& specifies. If you catch them in a good mood they can also be somewhat hyper and witty.

5: Content-focus. Detailed explanations. Definitions. Systematic and ‚sectioned‘. Brings up topics that may seem out of context. Either short noncomittal statements or long rambly "treatises". Tangents, run-on sentences, adverbs. Descriptive comparisons. Arguments appealing to rationality, objectivity or neutrality. Quotes & proverbs. Low volume, formal language, jargon, technical terms. Few pleasantries, says little unless some relevant topic comes up.

6: Warnings. Limiting Statements. Formal but warm. Appeals to realism & common sense, bringing lofty talk „back down to earth“. Lots and lots of precise questions. Troubleshoots, problem solves, rants, accuses, defends, blames, complaints as a bonding method. Second-guessing, self-deprecating and/or dark humor, disclaimers & qualifying statements, worst case scenarious, „...but what if…“ uncertain or tentative, carefully chosen words, bouncing off suggestions

7: fast talking, verbosity, anecdotes, storytelling, future plans, analogies, energetic. enthusiasm, excitability, positivity, light-heartedness, humor, criticizes by mocking, tries to engage the listeners, may try to impress, charm or entertain others with knowledge, skill or experience, scattered or jumping between topics. Can appear distracted or talk about themselves alot. Sing-song voice. Socratic dialogues. „Wowwww how amazing!!!“

8: Short, direct to-the-point and hammer-like. Certain, clear & firm tone. Commands. Imperatives. Snap judgements („What youre doing wrong is...“) Laying trips. Glib, quippy statements. Teasing Profanity. Debating. Arguing, defiance, „unmasking“/calling out , direct confronting, „below the belt“ shots. Military or wilderness related metaphors. Informative, factual, pragmatic. Sometimes quite jolly or unexpectedly sentimental.

9: pleasantries, respectful, considerate, dreamy, meandering, generalizing, vague aphorisms, recounts stories in a lot of detail, may wait for the others to speak first and sort of mirror, sypathize with & validate what you say, usually good listeners, may have to think a bit if asked their preferences. Some can be shy terse or monotonous in new situations or big groups, but grow more animated in a chill familiar envronment/ with trusted ppl, unneccesary apologies

[outlaw-baby]

okkkaaayyy here's another little something. i just watched all of the bear, probably inspired by the dream i had (yk the one where i felt an intense crush towards carmen from the bear mixed with a professor I TAed for its whatever). here is how i want season three to start:

first off it opens with gay sex. thats fucking right carmen?? carmy?? he's fucking a man [salute emoji]

there's basically no context at first but jeremy allen white is acting his fucking ass off getting into this sort of fumbling, messy gay sex. there's some typical awkward dialogue, carmy is a little self deprecating, it's a little tender. they stumble through carmen's spare apartment, trip on some jeans idk. for a minute he's a little relaxed

that's right bisexual reveal ep 1

NEW YORK appears on screen

yes it is a sort of prologue, no fucking context on opening night bby but guess the fuck what? we do know carmy is biSEXUAL INNIT. and odds are good they'll pull some shit like this just watch (too cowardly to make carmen bi ofc)

i imagine the first sex scene has a funky song playing in the back and when we transition from "NEW YORK" to, ya, the kitchen there is a jarring lack of noise.

there is only the subtle clicking of silverware and the lightest sound of carm breathing as he's hovered over a plate with tweezers arranging things just so

the breathing, controlled steady, juxtaposes ofc his breathing during his gay sex

side note i will accept now that carm is bisexual and maybe there's something happening with sydney but also maybe jeremy allen white shouldn't be allowed to kiss ayo, have we considered that? so he can pine infinitely as she realizes she deserves better :)

Back to it, capital C Chef is revealed to be hovering over carmy's shoulder insulting him etc etc

i imagine much of the episode is a sort of day in the life at this restaurant, close up shots of elaborate food, finnicky plating, the ever looming presence of this guy who fucking seethes with hating carmy

during a smoke/panic attack break in an alley carmen is confronted with Chef who like pushes him against the wall, stands uncomfortably close and whispers insults into carmy's ear. carm only replies with yes chef. there are some uncomfortable seconds as we are so close up to jeremy allen white's face (is it just me or can u just like not look too close at the guy for too long?). anyways noise wise the chaos of the city (since it has been silent save for breathing and dialogue) slowly creeps in more and more and more until it is overwhelming and becomes piercing white noise

quick cut to the quiet, clicking calm of the kitchen

i imagine the actual running plot is that carm is being blamed for a kitchen related problem (he is verbally abused for his lack of focus by Chef). something along the lines of a new gelatin thing has to be made bc they can't find the old one and things are running late but it is the eerie calm of simmering anger.

"You fuck up everything," hisses chef. click, click, click and the kitchen runs on

The reveal will be the gelatin thing was behind something the whole time. the viewer definitely sees it but carmy does not. i think it is implied that either a) Chef did it or b) another lower case c chef did it bc of a sort of toxic jealousy within the ranks (despite carmy being abused) or c) and perhaps most interesting is that it was someone else's over site, just an accident, a mislabel but we see the correct label on the back or it just fell to the ground and carmy meanwhile blames himself

but it is mostly atmospheric, meant to hypnotize, meant to get you into the rhythm of this kitchen that is almost soothing, so cool and clean and finessed as to be sacred only for this toxic, leeching presence to ruin any sense of calm

the guy carmy fucked texts again, a scene at night with carmy in his apartment, but carmy throws his phone, screams and crumples to the floor.

cut to carmy crumpled on the floor similarly in the fridge still

Episode ends with carmy's inglorious release from the fridge and who is it but a handsome refrigerator repair man named terry?

The season arch is all abt carmy re-embracing his bisexuality after repressing it due to the toxic homoerotic work place abuse he faced which makes sense thematically IMO as the s2 ending shows him falling into a spiral abt how he can't have relationships and love

In typical bisexual fashion he awakens his relationship with hero terry while also realizing the deepness of his feelings for sydney but too bad she is Not interested but he can experience that ig and in the end his respect and love for her allows their platonic relationship to be stronger

[shikiimisaki]

I love tumblr's nonexistant follower displays like genuinely its so fucking freeing. it also makes circles of mutuals really funny because you can just have a vague impression of everybody following each other and passing the same posts around 15 times but you have no way of actually knowing unless you. idk talk about it for some reason.? unlike twitter where everyone following everyone else is completely visible if not purposefully noticeably displayed at the top of everybody's profiles, people in the same circles of mutuals can never follow each other and have no idea who each other are and nobody can tell

[maschotch]

if you have headcanons about jack growing up and how his relationship with hotch ends up i would love to hear it

i think a significant aspect of jack’s transition to adulthood is the process of unraveling his father’s trauma. alkjsdh it’s unfortunate to be stifled by a burden that shouldn’t be his own, but so much about hotch is related to wounds inflicted over the years that he never cared to fully heal. as much as he hates it, it’s inevitable that at least some of it would affect his son. he may be reluctant to address any of it, much less reveal it to his son, but i like to think hotch is a caring enough father to battle his inner demons for jack’s sake. adolescence is difficult enough—hotch’s refusal to recover would drastically impact his son’s life for the worse

for most of the show jack idolized his dad a ridiculous amount akshjdlgakj like it was definitely some media magic how much that boy loved his dad. it was for the sake of keeping hotch on the show—it’s more acceptable for hotch to traipse around catching killers if his son is ok with him being gone all the time (they do a similar thing with matt and his family). and fine, whatever, i’m alright w that. its a clean and easy way to sweep that load of potential problems under the rug. but thats what makes it so much worse when jack Does start to have issues. its heartbreaking that the last time we see hotch and jack, theyre not really on speaking terms 

its not like hotch didnt see this coming. as much as id like to see him drowning in misery ashdgljad he’s more practical than self deprecating. he knows what to expect as a child develops, he knows the adoring way his son looks at him will take a sharp turn eventually. at some point all kids realize that their parents arent gods, arent heroes, arent perfect, and that they make mistakes. and they start to resent them. and hotch knows more than anyone that jack has so much to resent him for 

witness protection will bring up a lot of painful memories for both of them—maybe ones jack had forgotten about since he was so young. but repeating the same pattern, having his life ripped away and relying on a parent for any sense of stability, has got to be triggering for him. he’s gotta be overwhelmed with conflicting emotions: anger at hotch’s past failures, fear of his remaining parent being taken the same way his mom was. while it sucks for jack aksjhdglj that fear would stop him from cutting hotch off completely, no matter how much jack blames him for

he’s around 10 when we see him last, so he’s hitting his teenage angst a little early, but i think it’s fitting that he gets it out of the way. the very real very present danger will force them to confront issues both of them might otherwise suppress. they only have each other to rely on so they have to clear the air eventually. but i think there’s a lot of stumbling along the way: the sharp venom of vindictiveness has to hit its target a few times before jack’s satisfied, even if he knows it’s unfair. he’s just a kid. forced to mature faster than others, but he can still be petty. he needs to make hotch hurt because he’s young and feels betrayed by his own foolish admiration of a foolish man just as capable of mistakes as anyone

hotch understands. he blames himself just as much if not more for haley’s death. but i think hotch’s acceptance of jack’s anger would only make things worse. he’d react the way haley would (which is extra fun for hotch kajhlfdjg). he’ll be upset that hotch wont defend himself, that hotch won’t deny anything or fight back. that’s because jack, privy to a world broader than he once realized, needs to process the shock of losing veneration for his father before he can come to terms with any sort of sympathetic reasoning of events. he lived his childhood from the rose tinted perspective of absolute trust: he has to see things in black and white before accepting that there are colors beyond that

again, hotch knows all this. he knows it will be a while before jack’s willing to accept any explanation—and that’s if hotch is even willing to provide one. jack may not get the full picture, but hotch might feel like sharing his side of the story would just be hiding behind excuses. i imagine if he ever did, it wouldn’t be planned or thought out at all. likely it’s just jack asking questions during a fragile moment and hotch cant bring himself to deny his son anything 

with a direct confrontation, hotch decides it's time to be honest with his son. he wishes he had more time to prepare; jack may be ready but HE’S certainly not ready for this conversation yet, even if he knew it was coming. but he has to think of jack first, the way he’s always tried to. and this is what jack needs now. not excuses or defenses, just honest explanation: a confession of all his weaknesses and failings. the insecurities and doubts. he doesnt want to overwhelm the kid, but jack deserves an explanation of the truth of it all. he talks about what his job meant for him and why he was so devoted to it. he talks about foyet and how it was the fault of a man, not a monster, but including the choices hotch made to get them to that point and why he’s still guilty for it. he talks about the healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with loss and grief and negativity. how you’re not supposed to let it take over your life or liet it control you. how it’s a lesson hotch hasn’t quite learn himself. but how he doesn’t want jack to end up like him. how he wants jack to be better, how he wants the world for him, how everything he does is for his sake, even if he makes mistakes along the way. how hotch isnt a hero, he’s just a man. and man isnt perfect. 

i imagine he’s around 12-14 when they have this conversation? jack’s already had to deal with so much and hotch doesnt want him growing up with all those questions burning up inside. he knows jack’s young so he simplifies it a little and leaves out some of the darker stuff (like the extent of his injuries during foyet’s attack and the role hotch’s own childhood plays in all this). but jack doesnt want to be treated like a child anymore. hotch is aware that transparency is what will save their relationship.

things go a little smoother after that. jack will still have his teenage mood swings, he’ll snap at his dad, making some hateful but misdirected comments. but he’ll be more understanding. he’ll say sorry faster, knowing a little more about how his words may affect his father. 

hotch of course worries that he’s said too much too soon. he doesn’t want to overburden him with all of his fucking baggage. but it’s kind of an inescapable part of being a parent. their circumstances just happened to call for it earlier than it shouldve been. but it helps hotch too. bc now that he’s explained the problems that he has and the things he’s continuing to work through, he feels more obligated to actually work on himself and show that progress can be made. he wants to set a good example. 

i dont think it's until much later that hotch talks about his own experiences growing up. it's not a part of his life he ever planned on sharing—not with anyone, much less his son. but jack is 17-19 and just as quick as his father. he can put the pieces together and has some idea of what happened, vague as it may  be. hotch is more subtle than some of the others about the impact his childhood has left on him, but jack has grown up needing to read between the lines to truly understand his father’s feelings: jack can read hotch better than most others because he’s grown up with him. he’s more comfortable being open with his dad now, he’s more willing to ask difficult questions. their relationship is strong and he’s sure it’ll take whatever this conversation leaves them with. they’ll make it. so jack sits with his dad at the table and asks his questions. hotch has barely talked about this with anyone before and he doesnt want to frighten his child with it, even if he’s more of an adult now than hotch is willing to admit. but jack is firm and determined. he thinks he can kelp his father somehow (and god. that just kills hotch. to think that his son is so worried for him. loving and kind, but still naive). taking deep breaths and willing himself not to break down, he begins to answer

[okkottsus]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in anime (can be canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

hiii <3 thats a good question...i never actually sat down to think which my top 5 is :o 

n1 is def eremika (eren yeager + mikasa ackerman from aot). one of them fell for the other first, but the other fell harder, one of them is like “let me carry the burden of ur sins with u” and the other is like “i am a monster but she has nothing to do with it, i will not let her take the blame for my sins”😭😭 their love is so tragic, but also so beautiful. they are the definition of right person wrong time and they make me cry like a baby.💔

n2 is yuchi (yuki sohma + machi kuragi from fruits basket). idk what exactly it is about them that makes me go crazy, but its probably the fact that i relate to those 2 characters the most out of every single character ive seen in media. they are so broken and self deprecating, not knowing what they want and if they are enough to love and to be loved...and then they find each other and lift each other up, make each other better, teach each other that u can be found and loved even if u’re damaged, but u also need to move forward, make an effort to realise that life isnt all bad and there are people who care for u.💗

n3 is iwaoi (iwaizumi hajime + oikawa tooru from haikyuu!!). best/childhood friends to lovers my beloved...they are soulmates, their banter is like my favorite thing ever, plus u can so effortlessly tell they will always be there for each other even if oceans are between them. they are life partners whether someone sees their relationship as romantic or just platonic.

n4 rn is probably asheiji (ash lynx + eiji okumura from banana fish). basically for the same reasons i love eremika... those little moments of happiness they shared together made everything more painful for me </3 i think about the parallels between the 2 relationships and cry myself to sleep 😭

n5 gotta be renga (reki kyan + langa hasegawa from sk8). strangers to friends to best friends to lovers...even in the actual show u could sense the mutual pining altho they werent explicitly canon. there was angst, but in the end all they need is each other to be happy. reki is a ball of sunshine extrovert who brought light to a broken soul’s life, even tho behind everything he is very insecure himself. langa is a spaced out introvert who was deeply wounded and had lost sight of the meaning of his life and yet learned to have fun again thanks to reki and is now ready to shower him with compliments at any given moment, so that he never feels not enough again.🥰

[cecilbaldwin-fan]

“The First Ten Years”: my thoughts

Updated: this is the review I wrote at Goodreads. Amazon won’t let me write a review, because apparently my account isn’t verified or some shit.

I have followed Meg and Joseph's artistic careers for a while, both through Welcome to Night Vale and the New York Neo-Futurists, so I was very excited to read this book, and I was not disappointed. It was moving, it was funny, and it offered quite a few insights into Meg and Joseph’s personalities and their life together. Both are very intelligent and insightful, and obviously very much in love with each other.

The book has a lot to say about change and growing up, adapting to new things together, falling in love with each other all over again as you find yourselves in a new place. There are fights and difficulties, but the story is generally very joyful and uplifting. Fights are not described in too much detail, and happy moments are given more weight. I found it interesting that they often don’t mention the same exact events. A small moment that meant a lot for Joseph might not be in Meg’s story at all, and vice versa. This makes you think about memory, how our emotions shape the things we remember.

This is Joseph’s first nonfiction book, and while I found his writing moving and vulnerable, I would say Meg is the stronger writer of this format. Her bits were raw, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny. That said, Joseph’s recollections of his father’s death are perhaps the most moving part of the book.

I felt a strong connection with Meg. Her painful relationship with her body was particularly relatable to me. She discusses her eating disorder, substance abuse issues, and insecurities about her body very openly. I also have an eating disorder and recognize that ongoing anxiety, as well as the negativity and hatred people throw at fat women. Joseph's kindness and acceptance of her body was something that made me happy; other guys could learn from that. But there’s something more to that feeling of connection with Meg, maybe just being a woman in this world. I recognized the fears when Trump won the election, for instance. When Meg said that living in a woman's body puts you at risk, I felt that deeply. I would be curious to know if a guy would feel more of a connection with Joseph instead.

There were a few parts I didn’t find it so relatable. For instance, I haven’t traveled much and have never been to the US. They talk a lot about very specific New York and New Jersey things, and I simply don’t have the frame of reference for those bits. Since I haven't gotten married, some of those thoughts felt more distant for me as well.

I found the earlier years were more interesting than the later ones, for some reason. Possibly because their relationship became more stable and they settled into a routine. However, Meg’s letter to their possible future child was a highlight. She is now expecting said child - talk about impeccable timing!

I was surprised by how little Night Vale stuff there was. I thought it would be this huge thing in their lives, but they talk mostly about the practical side of things, like the strain of constant touring. I started to question whether Night Vale was a bigger thing for me and other fans than it was for them. Of course, much of the Night Vale stuff was between Joseph and Jeffrey and Cecil, not between Joseph and Meg. That might be why it’s slightly on the backburner. Meg also writes about her work with the Neo-Futurists, which I personally found very interesting. You don’t need to be in the theatre scene to enjoy these bits, but it probably helps if you're into art in general.

The main thing that I felt was missing were photos. It would have been nice to see Meg in the outfits she describes, and perhaps some early selfies from before the Night Vale tours. Joseph describes a specific photo in detail, and it feels a bit odd to not actually see it.

All in all, I’m happy they wrote this book and that I got to read it. Maybe there will be another book in the next 8 years. Night Vale fans will obviously get a lot out of this story, but I would imagine it’s relatable for anyone who’s been in a long relationship, especially artists.

More personal thoughts under the cut. 

I realized I have a lot in common with Joseph. I’m anxious and messy, I love fiction, I get nervous and stressed about everything. In other things, I’m not like him: I’m not good at making big changes, I don’t have have great confidence in my work. Meg says the world would be a better place if all artists had Joseph’s confidence.  

Despite the similarities with Joseph, I felt more connected with Meg. We definitely don’t have as much in common. She’s neat and organized and wants to be in control. I’m messy and unorganized, and I like when other people are in control. Meg likes running and working out, I don’t. Meg loves to cook, I just love to eat. We do share a fear of change and a tortured body image. 

Meg says she’s been a size 6 and a size 26; I’ve been ca. size 20 for the last ten years, and never really lost weight. I’d like to say I’ve had it harder, with my apple shaped body and not-so-pretty face, but reading the book, I don’t know. I think she’s so beautiful, and she really doesn’t talk about herself that way.  

I’m used to reading a story that goes from fat and sad and weak to slim and confident and strong, and I honestly hate that story and was worried I would have to read it in this book 

The book could easily have been very triggering if she had chosen to do that. Instead, I found an intensely relatable writer who wrote about her body at various sizes with that trademark self-deprecating wit. Sometimes she mentions insecurities regarding her body, other times she says nothing at all about it. There’s no “that year I was xxx pounds and then I went down to xxx pounds and here’s how I lost the weight and I feel great now” blabla. 

I saw her use phrases like “fatphobic” and “thin privilege”, and referring to herself as “fat”. To me, these are signs of allyship. She’s obviously done some reading into the topic and given it a lot of thought. Her painful relationship with her body is something most women can relate to. Joseph is shown to be a caring and compassionate husband who has no issue with her changing body. (Her blonde phase, however...) 

They mention they think of Helsinki as an “exhausted city”, because they were exhausted there. But I can say as a Finn that Helsinki really is exhausting. Nice to visit for a day, but wouldn’t want to live there. I was glad that there were a few mentions of Helsinki. Finland is never this exotic location that stands out, for anyone. Certainly not for people who have visited Australia and Hawaii.  

Thats about all I have to say today. Maybe I’ll add some thoughts later when I re-read the book. I just really wanted to post this today .

[obeymematches]

Hi!! Could I get a matchup if you dont mind? I'm an indian who has black hair brown skin and I'm 5'4 with a little bit of chub I'm abrosexual and ace. Im an introvert and a big nerd for video games and I have adhd and depression too and I hyperfixate a lot. I usually forget to eat and sleep too unless I pass out and honestly really ba at taking care of my health. (1/2)

I have terrible stage fright and problems with authority and impulsive and honestly I do NOT get good grades though I'm always told I'm smarter than my age. I always seem calm but usually I'm freaking out about small things. I always wear oversized clothing amd I have glasses and I love cuddles but it takes me a while to actually trust a person to even remotely touch them . I'm not afraid to use harsh language to show when someone is being a piece of trash(2/2) Sorry forgot to put my name in but my name's robin and I usually go by she/her

Hi Robin!

thank you for sending a request!

okay so this made me think.. i want to give you someone caring and loving who reminds you to take care of yourself (or step in when needed) and encourages self-love. i’m thinking about Beel and Simeon. though i definitely see you and Levi be best friends??? i mean if you are into best friends to lovers then go ahead he’s right there??? 

actually you know what i’m going to write that for you!

obv it started out as best friends, that’s just the way it is with dear Levi, but that’s okay, at least you can know exactly what you get into

becoming his best friend comes quite naturally as you are not so obnoxious as his older brother and he can definitely game with you, so you have something to bond over

you are going to have no choice but to listen to his anime related rants but thats just lovely, knowing how passionate he can be about the things he loves is never bad. but thats ok because you also have hyperfixations which you can talk about! 

once he starts getting attached he can become quite clingy, hopefully you’re down for that

that includes helping out each other in your studies when needed! he isn’t an A+ student either but thats ok, it’s not the grades that matter anyway

Leviathan would never make a move and he is going to remind you about your title (which is “best friend”) on the regular

however you know him well enough to notice him changing a bit over time when he is around you 

by this i mean he is suddenly more quiet? he surprises you with gifts out of nowhere? you think this is cute and sweet so you can’t help but like him more, though you are also concerned because this is new?? then he disappears??? being the tsundere he is

i think asmo will be a big tease in the situation but he means well!!! he knows love when he sees it!! jealous mammon in the background

ig eventually you’ll have to talk about this with levi, like did you upset him, what is going on?? eventually he would come up to you and would want to talk about what is going on but for that to happen he would have to be pushed a bit (either by you or one of his brothers)

anyways he is super concerned about your well-being too, I mean you two been gaming all night and you didn’t even touch the snacks?? babe what is going on 

he would definitely bake somehting delicious for you just to spoil you a bit because thats what his love deserves!!!!! he is good at baking!! 

i mean you could wear his clothes to have that oversized look going on and flustrate him to near death at the same time

i don’t think he would be trashy though, like as i said he can have his confusing tsundere tendencies (and all those self-deprecating monologues) but the fact that you can call him out when needed is kind of a kink of his so you got that going for you too 

but like once you establish a relationship he is. soft. so soft. spoils you so much how dare you not been taking care of yourself noooo!! 

on the other hand though he would also need some extra care because he can be quite anxious especially in social situations, so be prepared to offer your support too! 

other than that i don’t think there could ever possibly be any issues? and like over time i think the two of you would take good care of the other as you are so dear to one another obviously you’d want the best for them

[impactrueno]

have you read the article about the lisa problem with the simpsons as a whole? its titled "I Watched All 629 Episodes of The Simpsons in a Month. Here’s What I Learned." and its wow it was rly mind opening for me because while at least the early episodes were good and had heart to back this pain up, id imagine the newer ones lack it completely

(link to the article)

hmmm im not sure how to feel about this article tbh...i would argue that the golden age of the simpsons ended much earlier than that; also i feel like characterization was always a big part of the simpsons during the golden age. if the simpsons only existed to make us laugh, we wouldnt have had episodes like Lisa’s Substitute or Bart Gets An F (both can and Have made me cry more than once)

ive watched all the episodes listed when they talk about lisas cycle of punishment and even tho a lot of them arent great and some are exactly as unfair as theyre described, i feel like this person might be reaching a bit? it seems a little too much to refer to necessary conflict in order to have a plot as ‘punishment’. they also dont mention any of the good things the episodes do, like for example in Halloween of Horror when she overcomes her trauma and her parents and even the whole town aids her when shes in trouble. the episode has a happy ending with lisa coming back stronger and happier, which is why im surprised to see it here. (this is a REALLY good episode for modern simpsons standards)

thats not to say the article doesnt make a some good points as well. ‘everyones pain is healed except for lisas’ is definitely a flaw of the format of the show, because at the end of each episode everything resets in order to keep the status quo, and lisas status quo is ‘the gifted child with no friends’. (or ‘the snob’ depending on the writer)

but to say the show hates lisa....ehhh im not sure. whenever they rag on lisa or professor frink or any of the smart characters it feels more like a self deprecating joke or a critique on society as a whole telling the smart kids to shut up rather than an actual anti-intellectual sentiment. a lot of people who have worked on the simpsons through the years have said that they relate to lisa the most, rejection and all, and the same can be said for a lot of fans as well. to say that the sleazy pseudo-intellectual dean from That 90′s Show was an anti-intellectual statement is straight up wrong. the guy was a condescending and misogynistic creep who tried to come off as an intellectual, like a lot of men do in real life unfortunately

THIS GOT LONG AS HELL sorry i just had a lot of Thoughts and Opinions i needed to share after reading this article

tl;dr interesting article but its a little bit Too Much and focusing on the wrong things despite its good intentions

[holyweapon]

2/3 7 18 22 26 33 35/36 41 for wiketh!!

what is/was your character’s relationship with their parents like?wiketh voice what parents

does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?getting lost in a house with repeating rooms

is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?ambition. likes people who know what they want and are determined to get it, as long as said thing isnt for an authority figure ell oh ell

what does your character like in other people?people that wont try to block his way. even tho thats the kind of person he needs djkfghg

how does your character behave around children?ok this is gonna be a long one bc i think abt this a lot

i think wiketh has a very,,,,different view towards kids than he does anything else. he becomes very careful around them because he knows what its like to be forced to grow up. 

an idea i had was that like, if he and rowan were talking about corona and the convo went smth like:

rowan: do you want to have kids?wiketh: i’m too scared i’ll fuck it up

like, hes not afraid of the responsibility hes afraid that he wont be good enough. he also likes being able to like, do w/e he wants whenever he wants, and having a kid is like. Holy Shit to him. its a lot 

in the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?defensive, depending on who said it. he would absolutely be internally self depreciating but outwardly willing to improve if someone he cared about told him something like that

how does your character behave around people they like / dislike ?around people he likes, hes very like, lax, open, but also very protective and looking out for the best for them. subtly constantly worrying about whether or not his friends are ok

if he was around someone he disliked itd end in either a verbal fight or a physical one

does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? not rlly relating to material things, he definitely needs to feel like he deserves something in order to be able to accept it,,, i hope i answered this correctly ndjfghdfg

[cowboyguts-moved]

what is it like writing dialogue for ian + mickey? is it hard? or is it something you've mastered over the years? i ask because i think your dialogue for them is always SO GOOD and in character, i've never read your shit and been like "hm, this doesn't sound like them" it's always perfect and i find it flummoxing because nobody else really gets them that way. i guess they're hard to capture. idk it interests me

OH WOW thank you so muchfdkjfdskj i mean considering the fact that most of what i put out there is my kid fics so they’re not even canon them in my stuff they’re wee little babies so it means a lot that they still sound in character to you. this is such a big compliment cause it’s definitely the number one thing i worry about so reassurance is everything to me. so having said that YEAH it’s a little hard, or maybe not hard but it’s something i’m really attentive to to the point where i’m tediously rereading sentences to make sure it sounds real and authentic. i struggle with dialogue a lot. one thing that’s helped me is reading eeeevveryone else’s writing because theres some authors out there that write them so beautifully and they’re so much more fleshed out than the show and i take it as inspiration. if you really are struggling to find some good fic where they sound like them i recommend looking in my bookmarks it has all my favorite authors in there.

so yeah i read fics and books and take elements of peoples character studies and make it my own. i use my own sibling dynamic to write mickey really wise cracky and almost incomprehensible bc i love that whole snot nose punk thing i have with him. i just like writing humor in general like getting little niche insult material is so fun. i write ian really solemn and another way i love to see him being written is more of who he was in s1, really goofy and puppy dog like because i believe thats so elemental to who he is beyond what the show decided to do with him but i also feel like he’s really melancholy as well and i ride that train and relate him to me, being that invisible hopeless middle child. but he’s ambitious and he’s a dreamer and he’s very romantic, he loves love and seeks it always. mickey is very black and white sometimes, he’s cautious and sticks to what he knows, uses crude humor as a defense mechanism, is traumatized. ian questions everything, he’s self deprecating, he’s fragile, and he’s also traumatized. these are all things i take into account when writing them interacting 

i also really try to seperate them from the show versions of them because i think people struggle with making them sound in character because they’re trying to mimic the campiness of a dramady tv show where ian and mickey are written to entertain and not to sound very real and relaxed. their lines are made up by a team of people, they’re not being crafted to be practical or authentic. no offense like i love mickeys character but i love how people have written him in fic more. real people are not so fun and rehearsed. mickey is funny and careful and vulnerable and boring and clever and frustrated and loving, he’s real that way. and i think its important to make him as real as you can, making him your own, whatever that means to you, using canon guidelines to make sure he isnt so ooc he’s unreadable. and then you got a good mickey. (and ian) and just when you do their speaking quirks and how they communicate you can’t make them parodies of themselves you know no matter how much shameless does it 

[jordantanevisualessay]

Nicolas Connor Barnes

My mom named me after the actor Nicolas Cage and I hate it, its horrible. Also my dad apparently named me after Sinéad O'Connor you know who she is? the one who sang “Cause nothing compares to you” that girl who is now a crack head so my dad just pulled her last name and put it in mine. Anyway that’s my name.

Tell me about your family?

My Mom’s family is a bunch of crack heads. My dad’s side obviously don’t know my dad, but I still keep in contact with my Aunty, Uncle, Grandma and Grandpa from that side. My mom was a single mom, she remarried. But besides all that they are all from Australia and just plain white. 

Describe your aesthetic

Extra , Boujee, Colourful would you say I’m colourful 

What do you mean by colourful?

Like I have a lot of colours, like yellows and blues and purples.

Oh like you’re colour palette?

Yes, so yeah I said colourful, would you describe my style as designer? Like is that a thing? 

What designer brands are you into?

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, love me some Prada, Dior, Chanel, Dolce, Versace, Bottega Venetta, Jimmy Choo, Fendi, I could be here all day.

So just anything designer essentially?

Of course

So obviously we have known each other since high school, and we have seen a lot of our friends change dramatically, so my question is do you think you have changed since high school up until now? Or even seen a change during high school?

I think I have definitely started to come out of my shell more, like I felt more comfortable to kind of wear what I want, I don’t give a fuck now, like I don’t care if you don’t like it, If I wanted to wear a fur coat to class bitch I will and I’ve done it. 

Through this project I have been reflecting back in year 9 till like both of us in our 2nd year of Uni 

Oh I had terrible style in year 9, actually I think we all did, we all thought we were hot fly and sexy.

How would you describe your sense of humour?

Certainly very dark and inappropriate, but also like I find very immature things quite funny. You know actually imma go real deep here, the reason I think I enjoy immature jokes is cause I never got the chance to be immature as a kids and that’s a fact. Hit the dong on the head with that. But yeah that’s the thing with you and I, feel like we both missed out on our childhood’s and kind of being a kid almost, so yeah that’s probably why I’m the way I am. I find certain stuff really funny but at the same time very mature for my age.

Do you feel like people don’t like that? 

Mainly people would just say oh you can’t laugh at that. But I would generally say it turns some people off but at the same time I don’t really care, I’ll do what I want.

In regards to your humour and perdsonality do you feel like you need to hold back at times? 

I just don’t care. If you don’t like my humour you can just fuck off somewhere else. Like what I find very self deprecating humour funny some people obviously don’t and like I find that very funny and if don’t like it its not my problem.

So tell me, what are your influences?

In terms of what like in life?

Yeah, before we get into like you’re aesthetic influences, I would love to know your life influences or even you why

Definitely my mother, 100% my mom and also just my self influence of wanting to do well for myself. But its definitely because of my mom I am where I’m at, she’s the only influence I need. 

What actually got you into designer clothes?

This is going to sound really stupid, but around the time of year 11 was when I started to become interested in it. And around that time I started watching, this is so terrible, I started watching you know house wives and all of their designer wear,  it was all a different world to me. So I would be like ooh I like that and would google it have a look at the website and find more stuff and then it was a continuous thing, each week a new episode would come out you would see it. Also a lot of the music I listen to its all about the Gucci bags and all of that. It wasn’t until about year 13 my last year of high school I started to watch more Youtube luxury videos of like unboxings, but yeah in year 13 was when I was like I really want these things but can’t afford them. And I actually started to buy fake designer items. And that was around about 6 months and then I stopped, got myself a nice little collection, then once we came out of lockdown the following year, I had all this money and I was like you know what I always wanted to go and buy something and that’s where it started and it hasn’t stopped. So now I don’t buy any fake designer items my stuff is real. A lot of people can call me shallow or whatever but in a way that’s what I put value and that’s my pride, happy and joy. 

Do you feel like you value objects more than people?

Yes omg facts, and they wont turn your back on you they will be right where you left them yesterday.

I know you mentioned before that one of your first designer influences was house wives, what actually got you into the show?

I still watch them, it was because I had a lot going on for me personally during that time, and for me that show even today its the same reason, you see a bunch of people fighting all the time, they go on holiday, they go shopping, and that is a life, not like what I want to have but a life you can almost live by curiously through, so I can put my shit on the side and invest in someone else’s drama, cause its not my drama so I can watch you fight and its not my problem. And it just spiralled out of control but like I have a picture of fucking  Lil’ Kim on my wall dressed in Chanel like she is obviously an influence on me and so is foxy brown. And if whoever asked who are your style icons and I know they are woman and we cannot wear the same things, I mean we could but it would be very strange, but those are my style influences.

I know in this day of age a lot of people are crossing those gender boundaries when it comes to style, is that something you would want to explore?

Like would I want walk across the street in heels, no. Thats not for me but I generally feel once I move out of home, cause my mom does make some comments on what I buy and decide to wear, but once I do move out of home I will be able to wear more. Im not huge on purses or anything like that not for me. Honey I sit there all the time looking at them, like they are so beautiful. But still not for me, but still there are some for when I do move out of home then I may be able to start looking into that more. I more kind of want to explore that unisex area of more feminine fashion but also masculine at the same time. I wouldn’t go for a purse which is feminine but I just want that balance. 

Would you use/wear a purse or like have them on display?

Like look at my Chanel bag I’ve never warn, but yeah once I do move out of home there are bags I do want like the Chanel Boy bag, its not a super feminine its more one of the masculine bags they have but it certainly not a ‘guys’ bag. It’s probably one of those things that I will grow into at some stage.

Theres certainly a scale of some kind of  masculinity and Femininity what are your personal thoughts on that and where would you fall on that scale?

Personally for me, Im certainly not the most masculine fellow out there but there are way more feminine people than me as well, but I would say I’m in the middle but leaning more towards the masculine. Im certainly in that middle point because there are some part of me that can be quite feminine.

So yeah back when we talked about Influences you talked about housewives and but then mentioned a bit about music so tell me more

I listen to a lot of current things when I was young like whatever Britney Spears had put out, whatever was just on the radio, we didn’t have Spotify or anything like that, and then it go into 2014 I got very interested in Nicki Minaj, she’s kind of into her fashion as well but I didn’t really take any notice of her. This is really strange but I found out about Lil’ Kim cause they both had beef, instantly liked Lil’ Kim more than Niki Minaj, and that’s when I began to notice she was a bit more out there. One of the first songs I listened to by Lil’ Kim the first line was “Being the first rap bitch to rock Chanel” and it was just very prevalent, and even all of her outfits and everything was very extra. 

What Is the main difference between Lil’ Kim and Niki Minaj? 

Honestly they are quite similar to each other, and thats why they had problems. For example Doja Cat, I almost would say Niki Minaj, Cardi B and Doja Cat are in the same box in terms of how they are very poppy, rappy. But Lil’ Kim is outta of the hood, and she’s never really done like pop music its very hardcore rap. Same with Foxy Brown, again all hardcore rap and even some of their music has heavy depth. I was thinking there’s a quote by Foxy Brown “And if you only knew I hold my minks at nights with cheap, Or no other hands can hold me right” Things like that are just like ouch, like I feel that. Obviously they are both very like into their designer labels so I was like me too. I just love that they don’t keep it PG and I can relate to that as I’m very outspoke myself. I just love me some hood music. 

Yeah and you just started recently going clubbing now too

Yeah I got to the point where I was like you know what I need to experience it at least once before I’m too old, and now I just keep going. I actually saw old videos of me slut dropping and back in that moment I thought I was hot as fuck but after seeing that not anymore.

What Clubs do you go to?

One of the first places I went to was Shadows which in enjoyed since they played early 2000s music I was all up in on that. Went to Ding Dong, it was creepy, didn’t like it, it was a very satanic vibe. It was an underground bar with a bunch of strip polls and shit like that, it was weird. Bar 101 is terrible, been once and never again. Went to Cassette for like 4 hours, Cassette was so much fun and then I went to Family Bar for like the rest if the night. But yeah my main bar/club is Family Bar. Even though there is just drugs everywhere shirtless people like where am I. 

What you mentioned before about once you move out and have more freedom where do you see yourself in that future ahead?

Hopefully I will be graduated by then. I really don’t think my style is going to changed its just going to be more of it. Alot more outfits, shoes, bags, hopefully some diamonds. Love me some diamonds. Me as a person, I don’t think I’m going to change much either, I say that because I look at everyone else I grew up with especially  from high school I would say everyone changed completely compared to myself, some for better some for worst. I’ve felt like I’ve been consistent with who I am, so I don’t think that’s gonna change. I’ve never had that rebellious phase that most of us goes through. I had to keep it real, having that childhood innocence taken from you and having to be mature early on, theres no room for that rebellious side, there’s so many bigger things in life than just vaping and doing that shit. But like I still have my fun you know, just have my head screwed on straight. 

How have you coped with this current lockdown?

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve really struggled with this lockdown. Like I just don’t wanna do anything, I will literally just sit here dead sad, so I just start drinking and I will just drink, like last night I got fucked. I’ve drank everyday, I’ve finished a bottle of grey goose in a couple of days. I’m just really struggling but I know once this lockdown is over, my life will pick itself over. Im not worried I will become like an alcoholic or something but its been rough. 

Tell me about your Instagram Lux with Nico 

Oh no, oh god, okay well its my Instagram page, which I haven’t on for a long time. It was a way for me to get into the community of designer lovers, like I’ve met some amazing people through it. Especially here in New Zealand, people don’t really get the whole designer thing.  My mom is always like what the fuck, why do you need this, and a lot of my friends don’t understand it either but they kind of accepted it but I do feel some sort of judgement from some people, they just don’t get it. So its nice to have that community not in a bragging kind of way like omg I brought a Gucci bag, and there’s other people excited for you and when they get something you get excited for them, and its a nice community to be apart of it. You get to see a lot of other peoples things and they get to see yours and you can get into those conversations. It’s nice but it always does has it dark side to it, its like a blog and you are wanting that blog to grow and they only way for it to grow is when you buy things. So I felt this kind of self pressure to be like “omg I haven’t gotten anything a new thing in like a week, what am I gonna post” so then I would go look at Prada like go looking for anything to buy just so I can upload something, to keep growing my account. Cause I did this everyday for awhile, and I just ran out of things. You look at other peoples accounts and they buy like Louis Vuitton bag like every week. I came to realise that was very fucking stupid, you should only buy things that you want and can afford. So yeah there is that dark side to it and you can go down that hole, you feel like you have to buy things for other people to look at. Which really it’s not what it’s about.

Do you wish to continue with that account and going into that social media realm?

I do, but I got this point where I ran out of things to post about. Like do I start posting pictures of the same thing but in a different angle? I mean I’ve brought things that I haven’t posted. But for me if i’m going to start posting again, I want it to be regular thing. And yeah I can post maybe weekly and space it out but you can’t really grow your account, you need to be very consistent if you want your account to really grow. I got to like 300 followers in a month, like I know that’s not huge and that’s even 3 times that what I have on my own personal account. After awhile the numbers were kind of slowish because you reach all the people that are interested in your shit. More people did come and I even had people like I had this girl who did custom designs on designer items and I had people like that who reached out to me, being like “oh we love your collection, we would love to do this for you etc” that’s stuff is nice and all but I did get to the point where I was like I don’t know what else to do here. 

Using your imagination is there anything else you would love to do besides posting of your designer items etc? Like even create your own stuff?

I would love to make my own collection of something, actually I would love to sell shoes, like design my own shoes. Would love love to do that, but then i’m like how would even start that sort of thing, would people even buy my shit. 

Would you say your favourite designer item is shoes?

Well, the only things i’ve brought this year have been all shoes. I mean I love my shoes, that’s my thing. 

And on top of all of that your studying psychology

Yeah I’m wanting to get into the Clinical side of psychology, I’m currently in my 2nd year doing a bachelor  of Psychology at University of Auckland. I think the reason of me wanting to get into that field stems from childhood things, like all of the people studying psychology are fucked up so. But yeah I would love to help someone else and give them that second chance. Currently at the moment we are doing a section on relationships and intimacy, I would love to be a relationship therapist that would be great, like that to me is super interesting. 

Why are you more interested in the relationship side of psychology? 

Don’t know really, just very interesting to me, seeing how relationships work through its ups and downs and all that kind of stuff. And for order for me to get into Clinical I will need to get a PHD and write a whole thesis, so I was kind of thinking of doing something on the lines of retail therapy, and I feel that would be very interesting for me to explore in a psychological level. 

So I know you are wanting to become a psychologist after your studies but do you think you would ever get into designing your own stuff like you mentioned before?

I would love to have my own brand or design something, that’s not a realistic goal though. You have to work fucking hard, everyone will say the work you put into is what you get out of it. You can put your heart and soul and even money all kinds of shit, but if no one buys you’re shit you’re not successful. So half of it is yeah people have to like it and want to buy it cause otherwise you ain’t going to be making shit. But if you go into a job in like psychology there is good money associated with and there is money for it, so for me that’s the most financially responsible decision. 

Were you born here in New Zealand?

Yeah I’m actually from Palmerston North, we lived briefly in Rotorua and then lived in Auckland up until now. I don’t really have a sense of belonging to a particular place, like Auckland yeah I grew up in the city and I have respect towards it but I don’t wanna live here, but also know that I’m very luck and very thankful for being in Auckland cause I don’t not think I could survive anywhere else. I know that sounds terrible but like Wellington I don’t like the atmosphere, Christchurch is the same. And anything smaller than that no thanks, we live in the city and I’m very thankful for that, we’re in the most established place in the country, and I’m grateful that I live here in Auckland. Im a mother fucking city girl. 

Do you wanna move outside of New Zealand then?

I know for a fact I do not want to stay here, I would actually love to live in Dubai or like Sidney or even London. Theres nothing really keeping me here in New Zealand, like I don’t have a huge family or anything and the opportunities here are very far in-between, cause I do feel like in New Zealand there’s a certain place you can end up, and no room for growth but I feel like in other countries there’s more opportunities, more money to be made and even more places you can go. So that my reason. 

Like you mentioned before about not having a lot of family holding you here, I know for a lot of people they are rooted to where they come from and have that connection what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah I just feel like this is where I live and that’s about it, I don’t see myself being here forever.

Do want that family aspect like in your future would like to start your own family?

I think so, I want to find a place where I can call my own, I mean you never know once you explore the world. Its quite interesting thinking about life like that. Yeah I’ve never realised how much your childhood affects you in your adult life until now. Especially of the way I am, that I’m very closed off. I do have that part of me that wishes for a family which I didn’t have growing up but then at the same time I’ve gone along time without it so why do I need it. Honestly I feel like would be a good parent but I don’t think I would want children, cause I would always try to do the best for my children and at the same time I don’t have real desire to have them. 

How are you with people Generally?

Oh still hate people, I think everyone is a piece of shit.

Final question of the day but what are your life goals? 

Having a job, be financially stable and just do the best I can for me personally. I know that sounds very boring and cliché but that’s the truth.

[samanthasroberts]

Bruce Campbell on the Tragedy of Ash vs Evil Dead: Were Not Star Wars

All he ever wanted was a trip to Jacksonville—until evil came along and ruined his life. Star Bruce Campbell reflects on Season One and his doomed, ’Shakespearean’ hero.

Ash is saving a lot of people, but hes also got a lot of people killed too.

When the gleefully gory first season of Starz horror comedy Ash vs Evil Dead wraps up Saturday, its bumbling hero will have doomed the world to hell for a chance to visit the vacation spot of his dreams: Jacksonville, Florida.

And to hear showrunner Craig DiGregorio tell it, Bruce Campbell will have barely survived the ordeal.

We definitely, like, choked Bruce on liquid. He got waterboarded, but with blood, DiGregorio recalls. Then there was another instance where he kind of went blind for a while because its so viscous and sticky. It got in his eyes and he couldnt get it out.

Campbell sums up 10 episodes worth of guns, guts, and Deadite dismemberments with Ash-approved simplicity: People wanted blood, man, and they got it. 

For more than two decades, of course, what the people really wanted was more Ash. More buffoonery, more of his undeniable heroism, more smirking, brash badassery. And, man, they got it.

Twenty-three years after Army of Darkness, the last in Sam Raimis beloved Evil Dead trilogy, Ash vs Evil Dead brought Campbell back to his most iconic role, picking up with the chainsaw-handed hero well into middle age. The man who saved the world, we learn, has spent his peaceful days in blissful mediocrity, living in trailer parks, picking up women, guzzling beer, and working at a local electronics store. 

The fan-proclaimed king of postmodern cool might have petered out the rest of his life in weed smoke-filled squalor had he not accidentally unleashed evil into the world (again) by reading from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, the Book of the Dead, while high and trying to impress a girl.

Ten episodes and untold barrels of blood later, not much about Ash has changed. He falls in sort-of-love with a cop, but the romance comes to an abrupt, bloody end. He becomes vaguely attached to his two sidekicks, Pablo (Ray Santiago) and Kelly (Dana DeLorenzo), but their arcs end with them aghast at their friend, who just willingly traded the fate of the world for a chance to skip town with them in his Delta 88. 

Ash may be too foolish to ever grow up, but for DiGregorio and many of Ashs fans, thats part of his appeal.

The finale episodes, to me, show that this guy has grown maybe 2 percent, which is all you can hope for in a character like this, DiGregorio says. You dont want huge character shifts. It would feel disingenuous if he left the season having learned everything. 

This is all to say that Ashs life, on paper, is desperately sad.

Hes a very tragic figure. Hes Shakespearean! Campbell says. Hes a little Joseph Campbell, too. Hes on a heros journey, a bumpy road.

Campbell, whos known for assuming a kind of hybrid persona when talking Evil Deadhalf-Bruce, half-Ashstarts channeling Ashs half-baked wisdom: Cause if youre a lazy bastard, you dont have to go the hero route. You can just sit in your trailer, drink beer, and watch softcore porn and your life is over, he says, authoritatively. But if youre the hero, you gotta step out and make decisions, and some of them are gonna be really bad. People are gonna croak. Ash is saving a lot of people, but hes also got a lot of people killed, too.

That the beer-bellied Ash is so unlike most of pop cultures hyper-competent heroes, Campbell says, is what keeps luring him back to Evil Dead. Hes so flawed. First scene [of the series] that Sam [Raimi] writes for Ash, hes putting on a man-girdle. To me, thats just so awesome, he says. Other directors, theyd be too afraid. Oh, no, we cant do that. That would just be unflattering. 

Im like, Hell, yeah, it is! Ash has dentures, for gods sake! (And a bad knee and a bum shoulder.)

In the season finale, Ash returns to that old cabin in the woods for a supernatural showdown with Lucy Lawlesss Ruby, who reveals herself to be the original author of the Necronomicon. Campbell says the cabins interior set, faithfully re-created room-by-room from Raimis 1981 original, blew him away.

It gave me hives. It made the hair on the back of my head stand up, Campbell says. They got the cabin so right. I could literally walk from room to room and look through a doorway, and through every door was the right perspective down the hallway. Every window you looked through, you saw the correct door the other way.

They had the tape recorder, they had the laughing lamp, they matched the doilies and the tables. He pauses. It was justflawless. So, really disturbing.

The real-life Tennessee cabin that Raimi, his brother Ivan, and producer Rob Tappert (a college buddy of Ivans, and Lawlesss future husband) once scouted for Evil Dead, meanwhile, has long since burned down; only a chimney survives. The topic prompts Campbell into another fit of Ash-isms.

Minus Ashs gruff posturing, one could almost infer a tenderness in Campbells voice for those peoplethe Evil Dead devoteeshe keeps talking about. When asked what reservations he had about stepping into Ashs shoes again, Campbell replies promptly, Just letting fans down, thats the only thing I ever worried about. He betrays his affection when talking about the tattoos that Evil Dead fans send him, too. (He has over 300 saved in his collection.) 

A determination not to let fans down also seems to have motivated Campbells one mandate on set, his bold statement as the custodian of Ashs unique legacy: Im not saying anything that I dont want Ash to say. Its just that simple, he says. And he better not sound like everybody else. Ash has to be an amalgam, he has to be a throwback. Hes a Luddite. But hes an idiot savant. Hes actually a way more complex character than I think most people think.

DiGregorio promises that Ash vs Evil Deads second seasonpremiere date TBAwill divulge more about Ash and his backstory, beyond what little weve learned through his acid trip and three movies.

But Campbell gets to the heart of why fans really keep returning, decade after decade, to Ash and his battle against the undead.

[Evil Dead] was the little movie that could. Were not Star Warswe never were. Nobody was famous in the movie and nobodys really famous today, Campbell says, breaking into self-deprecating laughter. They did their own thing and I think people can relate to that.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/bruce-campbell-on-the-tragedy-of-ash-vs-evil-dead-were-not-star-wars/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/05/17/bruce-campbell-on-the-tragedy-of-ash-vs-evil-dead-were-not-star-wars/

[luwupercal]

OOOO okay bulletpoint by bulletpoint

i don't think it's a copout to think lorgar being very "i know what's best for you" comes from the emperor! revelatte's kids have very much inherited aspects of his personality imho and i feel like it's reasonable to think a given character inherited traits like those from their parents. i think it's reasonable! i doubt Rev's the ONLY reason lorgar acts like this but i think blaming him at least partially is reasonable

I DO THINK IT'S FASCINATING HOW BOTH PHRASE THEIR IDEOLOGY AS "THE TRUTH" THOUGH? i think it's fun. i think it's an interesting parallel. it's one of many and i don't think it's something i personally can talk in depth about like i could probably talk if it was abt fulgrim but there's something in there definitely

YEAH re:chain of harm and kor phaeron. i didn't touch on phaeron in my long fuckin ramble cause. well i don't like talking about him lmfao plus also i didn't really see any connection that wasn't the obvious "phaeron raised him so he's probably part of the reason why he's like that" which i feel like i didn't have enough knowledge to expand on satisfactorily so. yknow. but yeah absolutely phaeron affected lorgars behavior in these ways

and YES it's really fascinating to me how lorgar still accepts kor phaeron? my personal theory from my very limited knowledge is that it's related to how he and the emperor sort of represent "sides" in lorgar's life but i can't elaborate further because i genuinely don't know the details. it's either that or my gut is saying that it's something to do with some form of guilt or other "held" sentiment like a grudge or a regret? but again i genuinely don't know

i also think it's interesting for kor phaeron to genuinely have some form of parental affection towards lorgar despite how much he doesn't want to. it actually, ummm... this is silly but you know how there's like this Aura the primarchs have? Primarch Aura(TM)? it gets pointed out in the books but kinda subtly. i think the fact that he actually cannot wholly rebuke/get rid of those feelings of parental affection might be related to that? it might also just be complicated in a normal way because these sorts of complicated family situations happen irl (just, uh, at a waaaaaaay smaller scale) but also, ive always gotten the vibe that if lorgar wasn't a primarch phaeron would've treated him a lot different. that's just speculation though and it's very uninformed lololol

AND YEAH re:calth there's probably a reason lorgar keeps phaeron around, or there hasn't been reason to get rid of him, even after already trying once. maybe lorgar took it as a test of sorts, like, if phaeron survived even this then he "deserved" to be in lorgar's life. mabe.

OH YEAH in terms on the like. divine in nature self deprecation my atheist butt had completely missed the like. religious aspects. but absolutely yes it's a sort of... very religious thing going on there.

(i wanna say its like very christian specifically also w the way he uses sacrifice almost as labour? if that makes sense? as both a currency or at least a mover of capital on some level, but also a thing that is demanded of him for merely existing. and thats something that i dunno if it happens in other religions but im very familiar with it happening specifically within christianity and i feel like it's likely to be also what the writer is drawing from considering warhammer is a british property lol)

(>but also again an atheist so take those thoughts w a grain of salt lmfao)

AND YES THAT EXCERPT WITH MAGNUS IS SO GOOD. it's so. worshipful. i think it's so ELDRITCH PRIEST of him like yeah lorgar Would try to bring in horrors from the outer planes into our reality!! and i LOVE that abt him that passage is the reason why recently i started being like "yes hes my little eldritch worshiping meow meow" lmfaooooo. idk why i enjoy it more when a character kabooms a planet for like eldritch worship reasons rather than war crime reasons but i do. maybe cause eldritch worship isnt real? idk. but i enjoy the vibe

BUT YES that's better and more compelling evidence for him caring abt the pain he causes, i still don't think he wholly understands it because i think if he did Wholly Get It he wouldn't carry it out but yes yes absolutely in these cases he cares to the degree where the violence that basically defines a lot of his existence as a primarch actually starts like. rubbing the wrong way at his moral fiber which i think is just. (icouldfixhimly) Inch resting. and i think its even likely to say he partially understands it even if i don't think "do it anyways but also be guilty about it" is The Way To Go yk

also that whole excerpt w him being terrified of there only being war . i would like that tattooed on my body. LMFAO.

LOVE THE SONG LYRICS FOR HIM BEING A DAEMON. i really do. also i would love to be around the first writer who gets assigned to write in depth stuff about him being a daemon like the first proper novel we get w him as a daemon i really would love it. i really would. just cause i wanna see where they go with it!!!

AND. YEAH i dont have anything else to add. this is just. i srtarted writing this at 5am last night and now its like 1am the next night and i genuinely do not have much else to add

i got followed by someone today for the lorgar slap his bald head post and they reblogged it adding "Yeah fuck lorgar" and i am kinda looking forward to that person seeing this absolutely monumental obelisk to lorgar LMFAO. whoops

[In response to this analysis by @luwupercal in order to not make the post a million miles long]

This had some very interesting points that I'd also like to add a couple of things to/bring light of different instances within the lore to further add to them and throw my own two-sense into everything.

I think the Lorgar and his obligation of "this must be done because I know what is best for you" probably comes from the Emperor. It might seem like a bit of a cop-out to be like 'oh hurr-durr Emperor' but at the same time, the Emperor is kind of doing something similar with his ideals behind humanity's supremacy and the Imperium. Whereas Lorgar is more focused on worshiping and venerating Chaos as the Primordial Truth and believing that humanity can find salvation in that divinity, the Emperor is focused on venerating True Science only and seeks to break down belief and superstition in order for humanity to find salvation in what he believes to be logic and reason. (Even though technically here both of them think humanity can find salvation in what they believe to be logic and reason, only one has a tilt towards the weird sentient storms within the Warp and the other has a vendetta against them).

Regarding Lorgar not stopping the chain of harm, you are absolutely correct, however another thing to factor in here was how Kor Phaeron raised him. I'm pretty sure most people know the whole 'KP abused him' angle but the emotional self-flagellation here isn't solely from the Emperor, that's from his upbringings too. However, what is a fascinating sort of divergence to me is how Lorgar defends Kor Phaeron despite the abuse he's suffered under him and yet admonishes the Emperor. While he is most certainly correct about the Emperor's abusive nature, he's also most often disregarding probably the most formative abuser in his life.

Yes, Monarchia broke him and it is what set him down the course to rediscovering Chaos and the eventuality of the Heresy becoming realized. I'm not trying to diminish all of the horrible shit the Emperor did to affect him, but Kor Phaeron both physically and emotionally abused Lorgar for basically his entire life before he met the emperor, minus about 17 days. Lorgar wasn't even allowed to refer to KP as 'father' until long after he went out and tried to deal with a band of mutineers who were sick of KP's shit and tried to kill him. And Lorgar keeps him around! Consistently!

There is a small point in The First Heretic where we kind of see Lorgar remarking on this;

"The primarch looked to his oldest ally, with the cadaverous stare that forever lingered on the man’s face. Yet Lorgar saw beyond it, in a way few others ever could, seeing the kindness, the care.

The paternal love for an aggrieved son."

I will also not deny that Kor Phaeron does, indeed, hold some paternal affection for Lorgar -- feelings he tries to rebuke and deny, violently, several times before eventually accepting them and then using his station as Lorgar's father as leverage over other Word Bearers by the time of the Shadow Crusade (which then begs the question of 'Is Kor Phaeron only saying this so he stays in the power and influence he's always craved?' because he had these tendencies while he was raising Lorgar and kind of grooming him to overthrow Vharadesh one day) -- however he still has damaged Lorgar in pretty unmistakable ways. And yet, not only does he live even into the 42nd Millennium, but he's still practically leading the Legion in Lorgar's absence. And Kor Phaeron also acted as Lorgar's editor when composing the Book of Lorgar, too.

Big departure from the point but I just think Kor Phaeron and Lorgar's relationship is definitely a mess and definitely bad (sometimes for both parties) and it's something I constantly think about when reading up on the golden boy. He's right to definitely call out the Emperor, but there's another snake in his corner who he should also have recognized ages ago. But there is a part of me that is reminded about how Calth was supposed to be another purge of the Word Bearers who were too fanatical and who didn't adhere to the tenets of faith that Lorgar wanted and how Kor Phaeron was never told about this second meaning behind the Calth operation and so on some level Lorgar must've identified this a while ago but even then why is he still keeping Kor Phaeron around?

Considering the new changes to the lore in terms of Kor Phaeron securing Sicarus and Lorgar being exiled from Horus' side before the Siege I think it would be very interesting to even have just a small short story about the aftermath of everything to see how Lorgar and Kor Phaeron interact after all that's happened.

Anyway, decrepit old mule aside, I agree that he uses the hatred as almost a justification for what he is doing. Even way back during the Pilgrimage, there are a few instances of this;

The context here is how a Custodian was killed and used as a ritual sacrifice for Ingethel's ascension and how Lorgar threatened Argel Tal despite his protestations.

On the point of 'not caring about the pain he causes' (or not understanding), I actually think Lorgar knows precisely about the pain he causes. However, I think he sees it as something that is necessary -- as necessary as his own self-deprecation, and sometimes self-harm -- because I think he sees this suffering as something that is divine in nature. He was brought up with the idea that 'the sins of the soul must be born by the flesh' and when he goes out to find the truth and finds Chaos, he finds that there is sacrifice and suffering that is almost a necessary component to the faith. He also remarks on how the suffering that he incites during the Shadow Crusade is necessary in order to change the song of the Warp;

Also throwing this in from a conversation with Angron later in Betrayer because it's tangentially relevant here and I also think it's very interesting:

He acknowledges full well that the suffering he's inflicting is really fucked. But due to the demands of Chaos it's something that's also entirely necessary. Though I will also throw in his musings on whether peace would make a similar song because they are also interesting and I feel somewhat relevant also;

And finally to touch on the point of how he sees daemons, that entire bit is kind of... complicated. It changes a lot throughout the Heresy and even before then during the Pilgrimage. By the time he goes after Fulgrim, he's begun to view them all as small flecks of their respective gods, and things that require proper reverence and are sanctified, but at the same time are still tools and proxies of the will of the gods themselves. Daemons are supposed to follow the will of the god they are spawned from -- or simply the gods if they are unaligned or undivided -- and Lorgar sees himself as one of the primary executors of their will, which is why he treated Fulgrim the way he did. He even refers to him as 'It' alongside Zardu Layak in a few chapters previous;

‘It…’ he had said to Lorgar in his sanctuary on the Trisagion. ‘The exalted creature that is your brother – it may refuse?’

‘It may, my son,’ his primarch said. ‘That is why you are coming with me, and why I must ask your forgiveness again.’

I would love to see any canon content of daemon Lorgar because I feel like much of it can be thrown up to interpretation. However I personally think there's part of him that sees himself as both a person and something even greater. That and also I think the song 'Paradigm' by Avenged Sevenfold can probably sum it up pretty well. Despite probably sounding like a DeviantArt user c.2012 I will post the lyrics here;

I'm way up, a god in size, beyond the reach of mortals I shed my human side Farther, O' Father I stare at my reflection, have I lost that boy inside? Final paradigm

(...) I have the question if these thoughts are mine To live forever but did something in me die? I'm clawing my skin but I can't feel it inside I know the agony of pain would hurt so much better

I'm way up so far up Have I lost myself tonight? Father, O' Father Have you lost that boy you used to know?

[bytedown]

==> Talk about solutions

flippinoptimist hey apparently hes salty because dudes he didnt invite into his hive are takin stuff thats meant just for him and his guests, w/o like bein guests, so its a hospitality/home thing

bytedown I'm goin ta assume y'mean the Artifex

bytedown no one invites pixies anywhere, we're unwanted

flippinoptimist yeah what if i invite you places

bytedown .. seems like it could be a trap, no offense meant ta ya

flippinoptimist lol nah thats fair i dont take offense to shit thats like, common sense safety stuff im thinkin out loud now tho

flippinoptimist do you have glamours that make you look like troll sized dudes?

bytedown I could, but that'd take a lot of energy an I already burn a lot've energy just bein me

flippinoptimist i can make glamour amulets and i like trading, and i bet i could miniaturize p okay

flippinoptimist whichd make it easier to like, go all-out on your disguise, do part time gigs for cash, an start tradin for shit w/ dudes that dont know

bytedown are y'talkin about bendin light or more substantial

flippinoptimist i can fool any sense somebody has, includin touch, and it works on cameras and sensors too.  i'd need to supe it up w/ some TK to handle strength differences tho, an it aint shapeshiftin voice included, a course

bytedown how is it from th' inside

flippinoptimist usually cant tell the difference since a lotta dudes dont like disguise items adjusting their own senses, but i could add shit so you can see where people think your fake you is, and so you can hear the fake voice instead a your real one definitely need to add TK grabbers to the hands just for reach issues... ...which means i could make myself a giant monster disguise w/ realistic kung fu grip!

flippinoptimist could also make it give you vision and hearin comin from where your face "ought" to be if you wanted

bytedown it certainly does seem a wee bit too good ta be true, and I'm not sure I enjoy th' idea of puppetin a soap bubble that looks like me about

flippinoptimist the future is neat because theres a lot of things on different paths, and i like dredging up paths that have a lot of possibilities so i can see what they are im learnin how to do magic still, an a lotta my projects so far have been glamours, an im gettin p good at them but i dont have practical shit about magic, like all that stuff about cheap substitutions you were talkin about you got things i could learn and i like makin things and helping! and like half the time your futures full of a Lot, an im super curious about what thats gonna b

bytedown if I were goin ta use a glamour I think I'd drather spend th' energy ta do it myself- controllin your own magics important for a few reasons ..what'dya mean?

flippinoptimist thats legit someday im gonna have a really well-defined interesting sense relating to my hatched-in magic stuff, but im still kind of learning how to use it

flippinoptimist i can tell when things are Interesting, and when they have the Potential to change a tipping point in time and fate sometime in the future and me giving you stuff has Potential it does something, i just dont know what but its really shiny, and i think the odds are about 50/50 rn, and go up a lot in a lot of directions i can tell if a thing is going to encourage More tipping points, or Less tipping points, or if it doesnt matter i like more possibilities

bytedown you're pokin at me an offerin me things cause you think whatever happens because of that'll be interestin?

flippinoptimist kinda!  i Know theres a decent chance that, dependin on what you do and what you want, it's gonna enable a lot of different paths in the future, and i think that everybody involved will try to choose the best ones so maybe it lets people make the future better!

bytedown so yer sayin I'm important ;)

flippinoptimist i think so! youre shiny, theres things

bytedown an here I thought it was my charmin personality drawing you, I shall have to weep bereft of my belief in this

flippinoptimist lol that dont hurt either if someones shiny but a dick im less like open about what im doin an more nosy and pokey but like you seem okay

bytedown only because I've barely begun ta flirt yet, th' others'd say

flippinoptimist lol im almost full quad, but w/e floats ur boat

bytedown if I understand things real well you're flirtin ash with me

flippinoptimist > shIT, > uH, > Okay, at least he knows what that is.

flippinoptimist i mean i can stop if thats weird

bytedown you're th' one who was actin like were' not doin a dance, when you were th' one askin me to th' dance floor

flippinoptimist i have a pretty bad habit of ash crushes sometimes, and it can get p awkward when its on somebody from a species that doesnt have ash at all but i like helpin

bytedown I've been livin in this city for a real long time, I know what troll romance is I'm not objectin, I'm callin you out for pretendin ;)

flippinoptimist and that makes a major difference between you and the last time i did this, yep i mean sorry for pretendin

bytedown as long as you're not laughin at me for talkin about flirtin

flippinoptimist nah im just shy, ash never works out

flippinoptimist usually around the time anybody notices is the time i gotta stop an go somewhere else

bytedown Thats a real shame, you've only been in my life a few nights but you're a delight

flippinoptimist > And the blushening begins again.

flippinoptimist > And a several-minute internal fight between self-deprecating responses, and overconfident responses.

flippinoptimist well.. i like me too, so we got that in common

bytedown its always good ta like yourself my flower

flippinoptimist > wheeze yes

bytedown does he know you're doin this?

flippinoptimist shit uh im bad at this

bytedown romances work th' best when everyone's on th' same page, beautiful

flippinoptimist i mean, it doesnt necessarily have to uh

flippinoptimist shit yeah if im doin that i oughta uh

bytedown Seein y' flailin about abit is charmin Today at 2:19 AM

flippinoptimist would you like to see a shitty card

bytedown I wouldnt say no ta it

flippinoptimist

bytedown my poor heart, this is too much for it, entirely too charmin

flippinoptimist so now skys talkin to me bein all city administratey an i mentioned that the dude(s) i was talkin to on the pixie side were possibly naut that into non-anonymity, but hes curious about either 1) askin you some stuff, or 2) askin me some stuff to ask you so you can tell me an i can tell him

bytedown :( ah well, it was nice havin an account

bytedown I s'pose I could talk ta blue eyes

flippinoptimist you could use my spare "anonymous" account if you want, i mostly use it for hittin on people anyways

bytedown wait- hes willin ta talk to me on any old user name I might make up?

flippinoptimist yeah probably he just wants data

bytedown I'll hop on somethin else then

flippinoptimist hows he to know the difference between your primary and like one of a billion secondaries

bytedown tell him ta message cyberpyxe

flippinoptimist can do!