#but there were literally two people there so it does not count
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Tips for planning a wedding?
Yes, there are several things people will expect at a wedding. Be sure to do them and do them well or you may lose.
There must be a cake. It must be a tall cake. It must have two little plastic people on it. If any of these are lacking the marriage will be doomed.
It must happen in a significant place. It can be where the couple first met, or a place of worship, or a scenic vista. If it happens in a place of no significance, the marriage will be doomed.
It must be conducted by a person ordained to do so. If the marriage is conducted by anyone not ordained, they won't get to say the bit about "the power vested" in them, which is a crowd favorite. Also the marriage will be doomed.
The person conducting the wedding must also ask if anyone present objects to the wedding, because we love drama. People not present may also object so long as their objections are notarized and postmarked before the wedding date. One can also object during the honeymoon, if they want to get beaten up by a half naked groom wielding a shoe.
It must be between two and only two people, at least in the United States. Literal wars have been fought over this because we were always in the bad timeline. One time a bunch of people even moved to Utah over it and say what you will, nobody deserves to live in Utah.
The couple being married must say oaths. It does not actually matter what oaths they say, so some couples write their own, or say popular oaths from history and literature. "For the everlasting glory of the infantry" from Starship Troopers is most popular lately.
If the couple is Jewish, at least one of them must smash a glass under their foot. It was once debated in the Talmud whether it still counts if they break a glass accidentally on the same day of the wedding, like when my Uncle Paul got married in Las Vegas in a drive-thru wedding and did break a glass when he opened the car door but didn't step on one as part of the ceremony. This was deemed irrelevant because when the Talmud was written there were not believed to be any Jews in Las Vegas, except by those people who moved to Utah.
Don't make the priest do the Princess Bride voice he will kill you.
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stay with me.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: just a regular day with your boyfriend, who happens to fight crime sometimes //nothing but pure fluff lol, slightly dramatic reader
(word count: 2k)
âYou ever think your dad might secretly hate me?â
âOh, yeah. All the timeâ
âY/n, I'm being seriousâ
She snorted. Oh, yeah. Tony Stark secretly hating Peter Parker. That was a good one. Tony, the same guy who was practically begging May to let him adopt her nephew before he found out Peter was dating his child (he quickly dropped the idea as if May was even considering it, saying he didn't want any weird Alabama stuff happening under his roof). The guy who praised Peter (to be fair never in front of him) so much to the point where both Y/n and Morgan were starting to feel like Peter was the favorite child amongst them. Yeah, he hated him alright.
âNo, Peter, I don't think my dad hates you. Where is this even coming from?â
âIt's just... okay, listen, I was thinking-â
âThat's never a good signâ
"Shut up.â, he glared at her, unimpressed by her comment. âAs I was saying, I was thinking, Tony's...well... Tony Stark, Iron Man, a literal genius and I am... well... me. I feel like he secretly wishes I'd choke on something and die so I'll leave you alone...What I'm trying to say is that I feel like he doesn't think I'm good enough for youâ, he sighed feeling a bit nervous now.
âAre you kidding? If anything, he thinks I'm not good enough for you. Everyone and their mom know he likes you more than meâ
âI don't know... He still has the whole Iron Man and world-famous billionaire thing. You've got two parents who are like...two of the most important and influential people in the world. And I'm the nerdy dude with the mask...who gets good grades. Not exactly what they'd pair you with on Tinderâ
âIf it's any consolation, I'd totally swipe right on youâ, she said with a wink.
He rolled his eyes, trying to look like he wasn't enjoying every second of this. âYou're so cheeky, you know that?â
âAnd you looooove it. Just like you looooove meâ, her tone was light and playful as she dragged out the words. Her arms wrapped around his neck without much thought; it had become second nature for her to be touching him in some way.
Peter's own arms wrapped around her waist almost instinctively, bringing her body closer to his. He sighed, still trying and failing to act annoyed as a small smile made its way to his face. âOh, yeah. I'm crazy about youâ
She mockingly rolled her eyes at him just like he had done a second ago. âIs that little sarcastic tone supposed to throw me off? Prove you're not? You're not fooling anyone, Petey. We both know it's true, so you better drop the attitude misterâ, she grinned and pressed a light kiss on his lips, quickly pulling back.
âDon't push itâ, he said in a half-serious/half-joking tone. âYou're getting a little too sassyâ He cupped her face and stole a longer kiss, gently holding her in place.
âPeter and Y/n, sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-hmfm"
Peter's all-time favorite activity is kissing his girlfriend. It's especially enjoyable when he does it when she's being annoying, to shut her up. And that's exactly what he did now. He kissed her again, this time with a little more intensity. She's so close and so beautiful and so annoying in the best way possible and she's his and how did he get lucky enough to wind up with her?
He pulled her even closer. His hand held her by the hip, the other gently cupping her face. He finally broke the kiss, his breathing a bit heavy. âYou're driving me crazyâ
âCrazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room- okay, fine I'll stop, I'll stop, jeezâ, she muttered under her breath once she saw the look Peter was giving her. âI love you?â
âIs that a question?â, he asked slightly amused at her attempt to get in his good graces.
âNo, I definitely love you. And I'm very much in love with youâ
He rolled his eyes again but smiled nonetheless. âAnd I'm in love with youâ, he said affectionately, resting his forehead against hers for a moment. He just wanted to stay there like that, with her, for the rest of the day but he knew he had a patrol to get to.
âOh noâ
He raised an eyebrow skeptically at her sudden comment. ââOh noâ what? What happened?â
âYou're doing the faceâ, she said with a small frown.
He feigned innocence, like he didn't know what she was talking about. He totally knew what she was talking about. âWhat face? I'm not doing anythingâ
âYou're doing the âI-have-SpiderManing-to-do' faceâ, her frown further deepened.
âYeah, okay, I'll give you thatâ, he sighed sheepishly, taking the tiniest step back. âI need to go out and, yâknow, save people in peril and all that. Being a hero and all. You know I have toâ, his tone was just as soft as his touch when he gently cupped her cheek with his hand.
She instinctively leaned into his touch, looking into his eyes all soft and lovingly, making Peter's heart melt. âDo you really have to, though? How about you save your own girlfriend instead?â, she said playfully with an exaggerated pouty expression.
He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. A sly grin formed on his face. âOh yeah?â, he asked, playing into this. âAnd how's my girlfriend in need of saving?â
She smiled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I'm glad you asked, Spidey"
She -very dramatically, in Peter's opinion -flopped on the bed, basically throwing herself on it. "I'm about to experience 'broken heart syndrome'. My boyfriend is about to abandon me"
Peter canât help but laugh at her theatrics. She sounded like someone auditioning for the role of 'most unfortunate soul' in a melodrama. âYouâre so dramatic. Iâm not abandoning you; Iâm just going out on patrol. Iâm doing my job.â
"Same difference", she huffed before jumping up, now speaking in an overly cheerful tone. "But fear not, kind Spider-Man! There is a way to prevent this!"
âOh yeah?â Peter chuckled. He had no idea where this was going, but heâd be damned if he didnât continue indulging her. Heâs weak for this girl. âAnd whatâs that?â
With an exaggerated sigh, she pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, tilting her head back as if the weight of her woes was simply too much to bear.
"You have to spend the rest of the day here, with me. The streets of New York mustn't see you at all.â In a graceful, almost theatrical collapse, she draped herself across the armrest of the fainting couch (Peter swore the only reason she even had this thing was for dramatic falls like this one); the picture of overly dramatic defeat.
âOr else we're doomed!"
Peter couldn't help but start laughing. âThe streets of New York mustn't, huh?â, he joked. He pulled her closer, looking at her with a grin. âAnd what, pray tell, exactly would be the terrible, awful consequence if I were to leave?â he teased, playing into her overly theatrical bit for her.
âI'd burst into glitter and confetti and the Earth would explode, naturallyâ, she said in a serious tone with a nod.
Peter laughed again. âThatâs an, eh⌠interesting consequence,â he joked, holding her even closer. âSo let me get this straight: you go kaboom unless I stay here?â
"Kaboom into glitter, yes", she nodded.
âOh no, we canât have that happening, can we?â he said, still amused. He gently pushed a piece of hair away from her face. âWhoâs gonna be my girlfriend if you burst into glitter?"
"No one because I'm gonna haunt all your hoes away. Just kidding, that kind of language is unacceptable, all girls are beautiful, no girl's a hoe. But no other girlfriends for you, just me"
âNo other girlfriends. Only you,â he chuckled with a smile. The thought alone that there would be any other girlfriends wasnât even in his mind. She was the only girl he wanted. He gently lifted her chin so she was looking at him. âWhat else can I do for my amazing, beautiful, slightly dramatic girlfriend?â
"Stay with meeeee, I don't want you to leeeeaaaveeee", she said dramatically in the tone of that one Cigarettes After Sex song.
No way she broke out in a song right now-Peter shook his head and smiled, laughing at her overdramatic tone. âOh my god, you are so over the top,â he joked. He took a few seconds, then in mock dramatics, he relented. âOkay, okay. Iâll stay. I canât have you bursting into glitter.â
But she was far too into her role now; she had already fallen on her knees in front of him. "No, Peter, you don't understand, you have to stay-"
Her tone was overly pleading -it really sounded like she was on the verge of crying-, as if she were begging him, before she registered what he said, a big smile appearing on her face.
"Wait you're staying?"
Peter was taken aback by her being on her knees, and he couldn't stop himself from laughing at her melodramatic performance. âOh, you really are committed to the bit, huh?â
When she asked him if he was staying, he pretended to sigh, as if this was some great burden, and nodded. âYes. Iâm staying.â
"Wait, really?", she stood up abruptly. "What about the people of New York? People are kind of dumb, they'll definitely need help with something at some point- I mean, everything's under control, people are so responsible. No crime happening at all. Ever. Don't leave"
He rolled his eyes again but smiled. He liked knowing she wanted him around as much as he did. "They'll be okay... I think. I hope. I could use a break anyway."
She smiled back at him, her gaze softening. "You don't have to stay, y'know. I wouldn't want you to worry whether an alien invasion is happening or not"
He gave her a look. "Don't joke about that. It has happened before-"
She lifted her hands in mock surrender. "Right, right, sorry, I thought we were allowed to joke about it now since it's been a while. Guess not", she said with a playful eye roll before her tone turned more soft, almost shy "But you'll stay?"
Peter paused, the weight of the decision heavy on his shoulders. The responsibilities he'd carried for so long tugged at him, a persistent reminder of duty and expectation. But then his gaze settled on Y/n âeyes wide, a mix of surprise and uncertainty flickering in her expression.
"Iâll stay," he repeated softly, the words almost foreign on his lips.
Y/n blinked, as if she hadnât truly expected the offer to be taken seriously. Her mouth opened, then closed, a hesitant smile trying to find its place.
"You donât have toâ"
"I know," Peter interrupted, the corners of his mouth curving into a faint smile. For once, the weight of obligation loosened its grip, and he allowed himself to simply be. "I want to"
Peter pulled her into a hug, holding her as close to him as possible.
He wrapped his arms around Y/n, his movements unhurried, as if savoring the quiet rebellion of staying here a little longer. The embrace was firm yet relaxed, neither dramatic nor fleeting, just enough to feel the steady rhythm of each other's breathing.For a moment, time seemed to hold its breath, allowing them to settle perfectly into the comfort of each other's presence, unspoken gratitude passing between them like a gentle current.
.
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"So, you usually don't want to, is what you're saying-"
"You're unbelievable"
#peter parker x reader#spiderman#spiderman x reader#spiderman x y/n#peter parker#peter parker fluff#peter parker imagine#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker x you#marvel#tom holland x reader#peter parker fanfiction#Spotify
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literally so messed up that the best ever hair days always happen on days when you don't leave the house đŠđŠđŠ
#well i did go to dunkin this morning for the first time in many months#but there were literally two people there so it does not count#lol#also i texted my mom and she said that she might be stopping to pick up some ben and jerrys đđđ#i requested specific flavors but it's like a 50% chance that she'll get something different bc she thinks that itll be better lmao#edit to my tags: she did she literally got haagen daaz instead lmaooo which I'm pretty sure is more expensive even loll
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Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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i would kill for a cup of this right now
#gu6chan's musings#yes before you ask i did stroll over to the rewe website and gazed longingly at this picture for like 5 minutes before posting#why is duck so goddamn expensive in the united states#ITS SO GOOD..... like i could pop over to the local chinese takeout and get a wholleeeee box of fried noodles; spring onions; carrots and#peas with HUGE servings of duck for like five euros and like two months after i came back to the us i distinctly remember asking if there#were any duck instant noodles at the walmart bc i could only find chicken beef and shrimp and they looked at me like i was INSANE#this used to be what i took to work everyday..... here its holiday food. im going to throw up#i wanna go back home... i wanna eat food that doesn't feel like gouging my eyes out... i want to put curry gewßrst ketchup on everything...#i want currywurst in general tbh. maybe it's just the midwest since people KNOW what it is but curry is just a nonexistent concept here lma#but OUGHHHHH I WANT DUCK TO BE A NORMAL FOOD ITEM AGAIN... I WANT PAPARIKA CHIPS AND POM-B��RRRRRR....#and mezzo mix.....#i want to taste the yoghurt ice cream i had in rinteln again..... idk why but it was rlly good there in particular lmao#i wanna go back to my cozy little flat and walk through fields and forests and trails and at evening count the number of slugs as big as my#foot.... uuuu....#does anyone wanna adopt a 27 y/o lesbian to take back to germany with them ive been told im pretty funny and can make a sick paper crane#sometimes i unironically wonder if the reason i havent been motivated to do anything at all lately isn't bc of the results of ppl not reall#showing interest in my work till its out but literally just living in the US. im happy to see my sister again and take care of her and i#dont WANT to say 'i wonder if it was even worth it' to leave for her but i dont know how much longer i can do thissss
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The Yapping Hour is Upon Us
In which Max decides that maybe doing interviews isn't such a bad thing.
Warnings: jos verstappen mention ew Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.5k plus social media posts
Series Master List Main Master List
TheYappingHour posted:
349,219 likes liked by redbullracing, charlesleclerc, and others TheYappingHour Back at it this week with a very super top secret special guest. I simply can't wait to reveal who's on this weeks pod, you guys! You're going to DIE. (peep the clue in the second picture!) user928 her podcast set up is so aesthetic i can't user0928 RED BULL??? what does this meeeeeean??? >>>user1211 she hasn't done a ton of athletes in the past, maybe she got one of the Red Bull athletes!! user00291 DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN. (shhh let me be delulu for a minute) >>>user221 as much as i'd love that, we all know how much Max hates interviews.
There was absolutely no reason why having Max Verstappen on your podcast should be making you this nervous. Youâve interviewed actual heads of state, a former president, and royalty for crying out loud and youâre losing your mind over Max fucking Verstappen? You supposed it came from the fact that you had spent most of your childhood traveling from track to track to watch your dad race in NASCAR, racing was in your blood and you knew how revered and idolized Max was. And how rabid his fans could get. You wanted to get this interview right. Needed to get this interview right. Motorsport were still a huge part of your life, even if you werenât really outwardly an active fan. You never missed a NASCAR or F1 race and while you considered yourself a Ferrari girlie, Red Bull was most certainly your second team.Â
âEverything ready?â Your assistant Shannon pokes her head in as you fluff the last throw pillow on the cream colored lounge chair. Scanning the room, everything looks to be in order. The two overstuffed chairs dominate the center of the small recording studio, each with a microphone set up on a small side table next to each chair. Instrumental versions of Taylor Swift songs floated out of small speakers tucked away and a few candles burned in the low light of the studio, creating the exact ambiance you were famous for.Â
Youâd been doing your podcast, The Yapping Hour, for nearly five years now and it was now one of the most popular podcasts being produced. You specialized in relaxed interviews of people that the general public donât get to see relaxed very often. Your big break had come about 3 years ago when you had somehow managed to land an interview with Michelle Obama, her episode was still the most streamed episode of yours to date. Everyone had fallen in love with your interview style, how you got these normally highly media trained individuals to drop their guard down a little and be real for even just an hour. It gave people such a unique glimpse behind the curtain of fame and your fans ate up every bit of it.Â
âI think so!â You nod, smoothing down the front of your boyfriend cut jeans even though the denim is perfectly ironed without a single wrinkle.Â
âGood, because he just pulled in the parking lot.â Shannon smirks. She knows how nervous you are for this interview and is insisting itâs because you have a crush on the driver. Which would utterly unprofessional if it were true. But it wasnât true. At all. âAnd heâs driving this matte black Aston Martin.â She closes her eyes as she bites her lip, smirk growing even wider.Â
âOkay, letâs cool it on the hero worship.â You warn, following Shannon out into the lobby of the building.Â
 Outside, itâs a dreary late April morning in the heart of downtown London. You had traveled from your home base in New York City just for this interview but had been surprised at how much you liked the ambiance and energy in the city. So much so that you had extended your stay a few extra weeks. The good thing about being your own boss of a podcast was that you could literally work from anywhere you had your laptop.Â
Peering out into the parking lot, youâre surprised to see a lone figure in jeans and what looked to be a Red Bull windbreaker, hustling across the pavement towards the door. When he approaches the door, Shannons steps forward to open the door, a gust of wind whipping at your hair when Max comes bustling in through the doors.Â
âHello!â Maxâs voice sends involuntary shivers down your spine, a feeling you fight hard to shove down. This is not the time to be a fan girl, you remind yourself.Â
âHi Max, thank you so much for joining us today! Can I get you some water or maybe some tea?â Shannons steps forward first, extending her hand.Â
Max takes it and gives her a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. âWater is fine, thanks.âÂ
âMax, itâs such a pleasure to meet you.â You step forward then, the heels of your black Louboutainâs clicking on the hardwood floor as you approach him. It takes every ounce of focus you have not to react at what feels like a white hot spark flickering over your skin when his hand touches yours for the first time.Â
âPleasure is mine.â He murmurs, cat like smirk replacing the warm smile that had greeted Shannon. Your social media did you absolutely no justice and Max was finding it hard to keep his composure you were so pretty.Â
âAre we waiting on anyone else or is it just you today?â You ask, eyes darting above his shoulder to see if there was anyone still in the parking lot.Â
âWhy? Will I be needing my body guard today?â He quips as he follows you towards the recording studio. Â
You pray the dim lights in the studio hide the way youâve gone pink. âOf course not! Itâs just that normally the people I have on the show travel with anâŚentourage.âÂ
âI donât like people.â He says, as if itâs the most obvious fact in the universe. âI prefer to travel solo. Besides, Iâm no Queen of the Netherlands or Justin Trudeau, I donât really need an entourage.âÂ
He casually drops two of your biggest interviews like itâs nothing and you feel the pink tinge of your cheeks heat to a crimson red. âYouâve listened to the show then?âÂ
He nods, taking the seat you offer him as Shannon and your AV guy Steve bustle around getting things set up. A bottle of water appears for each of you and you take out the pages of notes youâve made even though youâve got all the questions memorized. You like to be prepared and prefer your interviews to be more conversational, less question and answer.Â
âI like to know what Iâm getting myself into.â His eyes hold this glint of mischief that if you were less of a professional, would have you biting your lip and kicking your feet. Truth was, Max had spent an ungodly amount of time on your socials and wikipedia page, obsessing over you and your career.Â
âAnd yet you still came.â You tease.
âI did.â He says simply and you canât help but notice how his gaze briefly drops from your eyes down to your lips and quickly back up. Itâs so quick that if you werenât in the business of watching and observing people, you probably would have missed it. But those baby blue eyes of Maxâs are so easy to read, all you can do is grin back at him.Â
âWell, thank you for making the trek into London today. I do appreciate it.âÂ
You briefly explain how the interview is going to work, how Steve is going to make sure everything is set up and recording, how youâll post audio and video versions and that he can have final say in anything that goes in or stays out of the interview. Youâve found that a lot of your guests appreciate that little clause and in the five years youâve been doing the show only a handful of bits have been kept out. You like to think itâs because youâre good at what you do and get people to open up on a level that they feel comfortable with.Â
Steve finally gives you the okay and you settle into the cozy lounge chair, Max sitting comfortably in the one opposite you.Â
âThank you again for joining me today, Max. Iâve got to admit, I was a little surprised when your manager said youâd agreed to come on the show. You donât do a lot of lengthy interviews and I could only find a handful of podcast appearances over the years. So, why The Yapping Hour? Why now?âÂ
Max takes a sip of water before placing it on the table beside him. His shoulders are relaxed, his ankle sitting on his knee is a causal pose. Youâve become a veritable body language expert since starting the show and you can already tell this is going to be a good interview.Â
âI like your style.â His blunt answer throws you off for a moment and your cheeks heat. Again. You make a mental note to make sure they edit your complexion in post production to take the blush out. âGP sent me the one you did with Dale Earnhardt Jr a few months ago and I was impressed at how authentic you were. Dale is a character but you got a lot of depth out of him. Your questions went beyond the typical âwhatâs your favorite race track.ââÂ
âWell, thank you. That is quite the compliment coming from you.â For the third time in a short time, you blush at the compliments this man is handing out left and right.Â
Your eyes flicker above Maxâs shoulder to where Shannon and Steve sit, their smug faces tell you that youâre not imagining him flirting with you.Â
âI have to tell you, I went karting with a few friends in prep for this interview and oh my God, Iâve been sore ever since! I can't imagine how hard an F1 car is on your body. Talk to me a little bit about your training sch-âŚâ
âYou went karting as research?â He interrupts you, face a mask of disbelief.Â
Now itâs your turn to smirk, âOf course, I like to know what Iâm getting myself into.â You toss him a wink and enjoy the way your stomach flips when his ears go a bit pink. âMy dad beat me by almost 20 seconds and I donât think Iâll ever hear the end of it, but it was worth it. I can see why so many people get hooked, it was so fun.âÂ
âKarting with a NASCAR legend had to make it a little better though, yeah?âÂ
âYou know my dad?â Your brows nearly hit your hairline, youâre so surprised at this. Your dad had been long retired before Max had come onto the racing scene and there wasnât a huge overlap in fan bases between F1 and NASCAR.Â
Max nods, âHe was racing around the time Jos was in F1. I still remember that one Daytona 500 where he stole the win from Earnhardt Jr on the last lap after heâd led for the entire race.âÂ
You tilt your head back laughing and Max thinks itâs the prettiest thing heâs ever heard, fully entranced by the long column of your neck thatâs suddenly exposed. âOh God, dad is going to die when he hears you know about that race.âÂ
âHave either of you been to an F1 race yet?â A plan begins to form in Maxâs head.Â
âNo!" You lean forward to swat at his arm playfullt. Iâve tried a few times but itâs always fallen through. I do watch most of the races though, as long as my schedule permits. Sometimes itâs easier when you guys are in Europe because the races are so early in New York, itâs easy to watch them from bed on Sunday mornings.â
The image of you wrapped up in a fluffy duvet wearing nothing but his t-shirt as you watch him race nearly sends Max into orbit. He blinks furiously, trying to get that vision out of his mind so he can pay attention to you.Â
âTell me this then, if you could pick any garage to watch the race which one would it be and why would it be Red Bull?"Â
You canât help that laugh that explodes from you then and Max preens under your attention, smile stretching wide across his handsome face. âYou know, I could have sworn it was my name on the podcast Instagram page.â You tease, giving him a wink. âYou keep asking me questions, Iâm going to be out of a job, Verstappen.âÂ
âI canât help it when the interviewer is much more interesting than I am.â He murmurs, taking another sip of water without taking his eyes off of you.
The rest of the interview continues on for the next two hours and you get so much content you feel a little dizzy at the thought of having to cut over half of the episode. For the first time in the podcastâs history, you may have to split this into two episodes. Max doesnât mind one bit, finding that heâs not as nervous as he thought heâd be with how easy he finds it talking to you.Â
You wrap up the interview over an hour past the time you had told Maxâs press officer it would last but neither of you make any movement to get up, despite both Shannon and Steve beginning to wrap things up.Â
âIâm so sorry I kept you this long, Max. I know youâre not a huge fan of lengthy interviews.âÂ
Max just shrugs, âIf all interviews were like this, I probably would say yes to a lot more of them.âÂ
You grin over at him as you rise, realizing the sun is setting outside and your stomach is aching for food. Max follows suit, although he feels a clench in his stomach realizing that his time with you is coming to an end.Â
âCan I ask you something?â He says when Shannon and Steve walk out of the studio, leaving the two of you alone.Â
You look up at him and nod earnestly, âOf course!âÂ
âWhy didnât you ask me about my childhood? Usually itâs one of the first things people ask me, especially in these kinds of interviews.âÂ
You shrug, face heating at being found out. âLike you, I do my research and I figured you might not want to talk about that part of your life. I want my guests to feel comfortable when they come on the show, not immediately put on the defensive. I guess I thought there were other more important topicsâŚâÂ
Your words hang in the air, heavy between you two. Something in Maxâs chest aches at the simple kindness youâve extended him. Itâs true, he doesnât like revisiting his childhood very often, especially when itâs recorded and will be put on the internet. His dad was very much still in his life, obviously, and while he had done a lot of work to move past his childhood, it was still painful to talk about. Â
âThatsâŚwow. Thank you.â Is all he can manage, voice thick with emotion.Â
âOf course.â You murmur, reaching out to touch his elbow in what you hope comes across as a comforting gesture.Â
Maxâs eyes drop to where your slender fingers rest on his bare arm before a smile stretches back across his face. âI know itâs kind of last minute but you were saying earlier youâd never been to a race. Weâre in Miami next weekend and Iâd love it if you were my guestâŚâÂ
You canât help the flutter in your chest at how nervous he appears standing before you. Your eyes dart over to Shannon, the official keeper of your schedule and are delighted when she nods vigorously, phone in hand with your calendar already pulled up. You made a mental note to give that girl a raise ASAP. âI would love to, Max.âÂ
âYeah?â He sounds almost shocked that you had agreed so quickly.Â
âYeah.â You say, a hint of a giggle at the edge of your voice.Â
âHow about I take you out to dinner tonight and we can work out the details.âÂ
âWhy Max Verstappen, I had no idea you were this smooth.âÂ
TheYappingHour posted
987,392 likes liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, susiewolff, and others TheYappingHour SURPRISE! Part one of my interview with none other than 3 time F1 world champion Max Verstappen is live on all socials RIGHT NOW. (yeah, I said part 1! We both yapped so much you're getting a part two next week!) user9382 the chemistry between these two was OFF THE CHARTS >>>user111 ikr? i felt like i was interrupting something the entire hour. MaxVerstappen1 it was a pleasure meeting you! can't wait to see you in Miami this weekend! >>>user2999 MAX WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN MIAMI. >>>user999 stfu she is so coming to the Miami race?? MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN. user3210 has she ever done a two parter before??? not even the Queen of the Netherlands got a two parter!! user9928 i don't think i've ever seen Max this relaxed during an interview EVER. >>>user222 seriously! He was like a little boy with a crush then entire time.
yourpersonalinsta posted
234,100 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, michelle obama, and others yourpersonalinsta we yapped some more and stuffed our faces. til next time, maxie! (tagged: maxverstappen1) user999 not michelle obama herself in the likes maxverstappen1 you're going to be trouble in miami, aren't you? >>>yourpersonalinsta what do you think? ;) >>>user9932 oh my godddddd user028 this is the couple i didn't know i needed
tag list (some of you only requested to be on a series tag list but i am not organized enough for that. lmk if you want to be removed!! also fingers crossed this tag list works this time ffs. sorry!)
@anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream
#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
âIâm having a child.â
Danny stared at Batman.
ââŚUh, congrats?â
Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. âItâs you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.â
Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batmanâs hands and into the bay. He doesnât even feel bad about littering this time because, âBegone, fruitloop!â
Wait, no, thatâs not what he meant.
âI mean- I have parents!â
âNot for long.â Batman muttered and then did a double take. âYou have parents? How?â
Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batmanâs mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didnât was somehow convinced that he âworked aloneâ or some bullshit like that. âAre you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.â
âTheyâre still⌠alive?â
âAnd kicking,â Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. âMostly the kicking part, though.â He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.
âI see.â
âIâm charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.â
Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.
âSweet. Thereâs a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.â Danny pointed.
âOf course. Tell me everything.â
The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.
Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.
ââ
âHey, Tim?â
Tim woke up from his Power Nap. âHuh?â
âPhantomâs complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.â
Tim blinked. âUh.. what does that have to do with me?â
Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. âJust in case the rumor about the Wayneâs sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantomâs back. â
âYou⌠want to confront Batman.â
âHey, man, Phantomâs a friend and itâs ride or die.â Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. âAnd if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.â
âBatman doesnât come out unless itâs dark, though? Or for the Justice League.â Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his âto go toâ list. Thatâs where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.
âThen we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.â
âYouâll definitely need it,â Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.
âShut up,â Danny playfully shoved Tim. âWait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isnât being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?â
Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Dannyâs carpeted living room. âDunno about his identity,â he lied to Danny, like a liar. âBut Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so thereâs probably enough gray space there.â
Danny spluttered. âYou guys have undead friendly laws?â
âYeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesnât stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesnât actually want people to know heâs like, alive.â
âJason died?â Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. âHuh. So whatâs up with his rank vibes then?â
âRank vibes?â Tim pressed record on his phone.
Danny nodded. âYeah, you know how Phantomâs got like a really chill green vibe?â Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. âJasonâs got kind of a rank green vibe. Heâs kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.â Dannyâs senses got worse in his ghost form.
âJason regularly showers, though?!â
âNot smell! Like, a spiritual smell?â
âYou can smell souls?!â Tim sat up. âBro, youâre a meta?!â
âUh.â Danny hesitated. âYeah. I can smell souls. Itâs a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.â
âWhat?!â Tim paused. âWait, can Phantom smell souls?â
âYeah. Weâre, uh, from the same town.â
âDanny, what the fuck?â
âHey, donât look at me like that, youâre the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, youâre kinda stinky too!â
âHey!â
âSoul-stinky nerd man!â
ââ
âI stink?!â Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.
âThe Lazarus pits. Heâs most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.â
âWe need to speak to Phantom. This instant.â
âI dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.â Dick snickered.
âYeah,â Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. âHe was pretty serious.â
âAre we just gonna glaze over the fact that theyâre from the same town?!â Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.
âHow does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?â Duke asked.
âWe also canât rule out time-travel.â Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.
âNo bothering Phantom.â Cass proclaimed.
âThatâs quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crĂŞpe Tuesday shall be canceled.â Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.
#Danny: not another adoption!#Vlad and Bruce trying to adopt Danny even though heâs got parents:đ¤#batman#danny phantom#tim drake#jason todd#bruce wayne#dc x dp#bamf danny phantom#dpxdc#dcxdp#dcxdp crossover#sea cryptic! danny au
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summary: in which for you, jungkook would commit crimes and his mother would peel oranges.
idol!jk x reader | fluff, angst | word count: 9.5k
warnings/content: oc passes out in the shower / jk does something crazy iâm literally insane about this / baby bam cameo 𼺠/ stitches >:( / blood draw / mention of speeding / jealous not but rlly jealous oc is pissed owfffff at the nurse who has a crush on jk lmao / jk and his mom loves them to death tho so obv who wins / love is beautiful letâs all cry <3
> in which masterlist!
note: *sitcom sound effect of crowd cheering* IâM BACK 𼰠hope u enjoy the product of my madness during finals season hehehe. and special thanks to my cutieful proofreader rio!! youâre one of my most favorite people iâve ever met đĽşđ + my beloveds who came to the rescue when i had medical questions !! i didnât expect to receive help from soooo many and iâm so freaking grateful i could cri :")
â
âi ordered it the other day. how did it arrive so early?â
jungkook walks back inside the apartment, arms occupied by a stack of boxes that arrived in the mail yesterday.
he arrives at the living room, head tilting to the side in confusion when he realizes that the netflix show he was watching on the television is no longer playing. instead, there is the news channel.
he gasps.
âbaby, youâre alive!â
your swollen eyes flicker up to him.
youâre lying on the sofa with your legs lazily dangling on the edge. thereâs a toothbrush in your mouth, foam of bubbles between your lips, but your arm barely exerts the energy to make it do its job.
âyou were asleep from afternoon to morning. do you know that? youâve never done that before!â he exclaims, carelessly tossing the boxes on the floor. âi was getting scared!â
you only hum to acknowledge his existence, pushing yourself up from the sofa and unknowingly dodging the hug your boyfriend wanted to greet you with.
he ends up collapsing face first on the empty space you left, hurt and offended.
the bathroom door opens and closes.
he flips over, whining. âyah, we didnât see each other for a day. didnât you miss me?!â
still not a single word from you. sleeping that long must not have cured your exhaustion, jungkook surmises. you tend to be glum and cranky when youâre feeling unwell, as is usually the case when you wake up as unrested as before.
he doesnât always know how to make you feel better, but he always tries anyway.
âour new bedsheets arrived!â he announces from the other side of the bathroom door, making himself loud so that you can hear him despite the shower running. âdo you want to unbox them with me?!â
he allows the seconds to pass, but with his hands on his hips, he eventually begins to tap his foot on the floor.
âbaby? may i go in?â
he turns the knob, just to be prepared incase the answer is a yes, but it doesnât turn. a sad pout forms on his face.
huh? why is it locked?
you must genuinely donât want to be bothered today.
âguess thatâs a no.â he mutters to himself before calling out to you. âokay, iâll wait for you!â
with a crestfallen sigh, he begins to walk back to the living room.
he doesnât go far, however.
only several steps later, a series of loud crashes is heard from the bathroom and his heart thunders in his chest with a combination of numbing shock and fear.
â____, what was that?! did you fall?!â
he aggressively pounds at the door, extremely desperate this time around. he has no plans on leaving until he knows that youâre safe and sound.
âbaby! open this! are you alrightâŚ? are you hurt? youâre scaring me. please, answer!â
he pauses, catching his breath as his mind runs a thousand miles per hour.
â____!â
he strikes the door with an open palm one more time, more so to express his frustration that is only growing worse with every tick of the clock. he only ends up hurting himself in the process.
âthatâs it! iâm opening the door!â
he frantically whips his head around, racking his brain for the location of the key. there are two copies of it somewhere in the apartment, but in his panicked state, he is unable to pinpoint either of their specific spots. and he canât fucking afford to waste any more time.
âah, fuck!â he curses, left with no other choice but to give in to the instinct of breaking down the door with the strength and durability of his body alone.
he would most definitely break his shoulder first before the door.
only after the first try, that much is clear.
and so, with madness inconsiderate of his agony, he resorts to kicking it over and over again.
the repeated loud collisions rattles poor bam from his slumber. not long after, the dogâs barking creates a booming dissonance with his grunts and kicks at the door.
when it finally swings open, the force of his own body sends him stumbling on the bathroom floor, but he doesnât waste time in bouncing back to his feet.
the twisting of his stomach is instantaneous.
there lies your naked, unconscious figure behind the glassâ surrounded by bottles of hair and body products that must have fallen when your hands were searching for something to hold on to.
his voice cracks, breathless.
âbaby, no⌠no, no, no.â
he kneels on the floor, and despite the strong urge to carry you out of there, he tries to calm down. itâs the first rule in every emergency case; professionals reiterate in seminars and news channel segments.
keep calm. keep calm. keep calm.
he wonât be able to forgive himself if he ends up causing more harm than good.
â____, can you hear me?!â
his instinct tells him to inspect every inch of you for any sign of injury, but then his vision becomes too blurry. he curses at the hindrance and forces himself to turn off the showerhead that was left running.
he harshly wipes his face, rushing back to you.
âplease, please, please. wake up.â he begs.
he has a feeling that itâs futile. you canât hear him and heâs wasting his breath. the thing is he doesnât know what else to do.
âbabyâŚâ
he carefully turns your head over, almost relieved because he hasnât seen blood so far.
almost.
at last, he gets a full view of your face, and he finds blood dripping. this has always been one of his most paralyzing fearsâ seeing you get hurt. now that itâs become a reality, thereâs a part of him that wants to believe this is some kind of twisted dream.
âhow- how did this even happenâŚ?â he cries out, his own blood running cold.
for everything that happens after, his body acts on its own. bam is a constant presence in his peripheral, but he is barely in his right mind to acknowledge the presence aside from, âbam, move. daddy might step on you.â
he carries you out of the bathroom, kicking aside the beaten up door. he has made up his mind about bringing you to the hospital, but he canât bring you like⌠this.
he lays you down on the bed, all that gentleness switched off in a split second so he can sprint to the walk-in closet. he hastily grabs whatever is on top of your neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants; and then a fresh towel on the way out. the gentleness returns as he pats your face dry, the pure white stained with dark red. he flips the towel and uses the other side to wipe the rest of your body, in a race against time but mindful of treating you like fragile glass.
once that is over, he dresses you in a pair of gray sweatpants, and with some difficulty, an orange t-shirt.
any person with functioning eyes will be able to tell that the shades donât go together.
if you were conscious, youâd definitely berate him for making you wear this outfit.
but youâre not.
jungkook effortlessly swoops you in his armsâ dripping wet hair, his and yours, leaving behind a trail of raindrops from your apartment floor to the cemented parking lot.
â
your body feels like itâs floating.
are you dreaming�
you must be dreaming.
you hear an uncoordinated symphony of voices, but you canât comprehend a word. in pursuit of clarity, you force yourself to open your eyes.
the voices grow a little louder. faceless figures hover you; a bright light shines over your face.
your senses must be playing cruel tricks. now it feels like youâre drowning, sinking into the unknown, and your body has succumbed into numbing defeat.
you want to sleep a little more.
you must truly be exhausted. itâs okay.
youâve fought hard until now. youâve done enough⌠has anyone tried in life as much as you did?
just as your eyes flutter shut, you regain sensation of your hand; a soft squeeze and a call of your name.
â
jungkook gently strokes your hair, sighing for the nth time since you got transferred to a private room. heâs relieved that all the scans came back clean so serious head and brain injuries have been ruled out. the doctor also asked him questions and ran some other tests before concluding that electrolyte imbalance caused you to pass out; the culmination of stress and fatigue from work, as well as your strong period, most likely being the main reasons. he didnât even know about the latter until you stained the white sheets with blood.
it was fucking frightening being in the sidelines as they rushed to check on your vitals and to administer oxygen. even now, itâs unbearable to see you with a needle in your hand and a few stitches above your eyebrow. he already anticipated you not being pleased with having to get stitches specifically either; gasping and sitting up as soon as you heard the word come from his lips post-consciousness. consequently, the dizziness hits you. the doctor wasnât happy about that.
âthis is so annoying. i donât want a scar.â you whine as you study your face on the camera of jungkookâs phone. âdid i have to fall on my prettier side?â
âwhat are you saying? youâre pretty from any angle.â he interjects. âbe careful. the wound might open up.â
you jut out your bottom lip, looking up at him with glassy eyes. the sight instantly tugs at his heartstrings, and he pulls you in for a hug. maybe heâs a little sad that you donât appear concerned about the fact that you passed out, but god is he relieved to finally hear your voice again.
âah, i should call the doctor.â
but his face remains buried in your hair.
âthey told me to do so.â
âyou should-â
âwhy?!â he abruptly reacts, drawing back. âdoes anything hurt?â
âchill. you said that they told you to.â
âoh, thatâs right.â he sheepishly smiles. he canât help but to overreact; he hasnât turned off the alarms in his head. âiâll go tell the nurse to get her.â
he starts to walk towards the door, but a tug at his shirt holds him back.
you shyly look at him with a scrunch of your nose. âiâm nervous. hug me for five more seconds.â
fuck, he would move heaven and earth to protect you from everything that can cause you harm.
âwhy would you be nervous? iâm right here.â he scolds you lightheartedly, not hesitating to seize the chance to hug you again. âi love you.â
âi love you more.â
you pull away after five seconds, and heâd be disappointed about you being too true to your words if you didnât kiss him on the cheek so ardently.
his heart almost jumps out of his chest when you gasp out of nowhere as if you just realized that you left the gas tank open at home. your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
âbam!â
oh, right. your child.
âmy brotherâs house!â he eases your mind.
you breathe out in relief, the heel of your palm pressing against the left side of your chest where your heart lives. âgood⌠i was worried. he was probably more scared because he didnât understand what was going on. i feel bad.â
you love bam so much; it makes him so happy. youâre so concerned about him even when youâre the one on the hospital bed. you make pretty good parents, huh?
âthatâs right. he was worried about you, too. thatâs why you need to recover quickly so he wonât be sad!â
â
the doctor kindly asked jungkook to give the two of you some time alone, so heâs been idly sitting at the lobby after buying a bottle of water. heâs pretty much used to visiting the hospital for routine checkups considering the nature of his job, but it always feels strange to be here for the other different purposes of the place.
is there any other building sadder than this?
if you heard him utter this question, he could easily predict what youâd say: but is there any other building with more love?
if he tries hard enough, he could listen to your voice and paint you in his mind.
you see love in every place that you step foot into.
his curious eyes continue to wander around. he spots people carrying flowers, baskets, and containers of food. thereâs also a teenage boy in his high school uniform, carrying a teddy bear larger than him.
not that he wants you to stay longer, but if you have to, he writes down a mental note to bring one of your favorite plushies.
he eventually gets tired; considers scrolling on his phone again, but he decides against it when his gaze lands on a little boy sleeping soundly on his motherâs lap. suddenly, he is reminded of his childhood before he moved to seoul.
how simple life can be when youâre innocently sleeping on your motherâs lap, trusting that everything will be alright.
âah, i miss my momâŚâ he utters absentmindedly. âi miss my mom so much. i should call her.â
his reminiscing is interrupted when a wheelchair rolls by infront of him. it is leisurely being pushed by an old man who wants to bring his wife outside for some fresh air.
in a parallel universe somewhere, jungkook can imagine them as you and him.
he sits up straight, looking back at the clock on the wall.
how long has it been? he wants to be by your side again.
â
âjungkook!â your face lights up as soon as your boyfriend steps into the room. âwhat took you so long?â
âi know. sorry, baby. i got a little distracted outside.â
âiâve been waiting.â you pout. âwhy? were people bothering you?â
ânot at all. donât worry.â
you pat the empty space beside you. âhere.â
âi think the bed is meant for only one person- damn, okay, okay-â
he swiftly gives in upon seeing the hurt on your face, occupying the space you reserved for him. âi love you. donât be sad.â
youâre aching too much to wait for him to get settled. you wrap your arms around his waist like youâre a magnet attracted to steel, clinging to him for comfort.
if youâre being honest, you donât know how you feel about being in this situation. overwhelmed? maybe a tiny bit relieved. in the past, it didnât matter whether you were sick or not. you needed to work or else it was guaranteed that you wouldnât survive. life is easier now. you have the luxury to use this as a reason to take a break. you have someone who takes care of you as naturally as he breathes.
âhow was the doctor?â
âsheâs nice⌠she just asked me about the things i remember before i passed out. then about my work, diet, sleeping schedule⌠stuff like that.â
you pull away a little, just enough so you can see each otherâs face. you squint at him suspiciously. âdid you have to get an expensive room?â
he chuckles. âhow did you know? they didnât tell you that, did they?â
âi literally have the perfect view of the fountain from here!â you point at the large window behind you. âi just passed out. i wouldâve been fine downstairs.â
âdonât say it like that. it couldâve been so much worse.â he says with knitted eyebrows, palm cupping the back of your head and caressing softly.
he heaves a sigh.
âi was so scared that you injured your head. seriously, i thought iâd go insane if i lost you! i went past the speed limit driving you here!â
the distress he was under is apparent. you canât help but to be racked with the guilt. you always do this, making him worry himself to death. you donât usually do it purpose, and that only makes you feel shittier.
âyouâre right. iâm sorry.â
âwell, iâŚâ he sighs. âitâs okay. i know you didnât want this either. itâs not your fault.â
you press your lips into a thin line. âit kind of is.â
your lost eyes meet, and a connection is established like itâs a constellation sending a secret message. your heart flutters when he giggles, dimples and starry eyes and crinkled corners.
âstop it. itâs impossible to scold you when youâre so cute and self-aware.â
âthen donât scold me.â you sniffle sadly to kindle pity in him. âiâve had enough of it from the doctor.â
your brain still works well enough to help you escape from trouble. thatâs a good sign, right?
âmy poor baby.â he coos, cradling your cheeks.
his hands are warm. you put yours over them; a wordless signal telling him you donât want him to go away.
âletâs not get hurt again, please. we need to stay healthy and take good care of ourselves so this wonât happen again, alright?â
you nod in obedience. your eyes are fixed on him but youâre not certain if youâre registering what heâs telling you in your pitiful, shaken brain.
âthe hospital already did me many favors. if we go back, i might have to build them another fountain as a gift.â
and knowing jungkook, with his golden heart and his black card, jokes become half-meant.
âwhat do they need that for?!â
he bursts out laughing, yet again, after you chide at him for his ridiculous and unnecessary expenses.
ânothing, iâm just grateful! i was really so scared but iâm relieved now thanks to them. i canât remember the last time i felt that way.â
âyouâre not scared of a lot of things.â you point out.
âthatâs right.â he agrees. âonly you scare me these days.â
you grimace. âam i scary?â
âyou are, sometimes.â he laughs, squishing your cheeks together. âbut i mean the things that could hurt you.â
as if on cue, your stomach grumbles and bellows like a monster stuck in an empty cave. your eyes grow twice its size in bewilderment, which then morphs into embarrassment.
âmy stomach hurts.â you say quietly.
your nostrils flare as jungkook miserably fails to hold back his laughter. one of his hands leave your face, rubbing your tummy over the thin hospital gown.
âoh no, what are we going to do? where does it hurt? here?â he pouts. âshould we go feed you now to make it go away?â
âwhat is wrong with you?â you slap his shoulder in annoyance. âiâm not a baby!â
âyah, be careful!â he yells, wincing as if he is the one in pain. âbe gentle with the one with the iv!â
â
âyou know one good thing that came out of this?â you gush out of nowhere.
youâre mixing up the ingredients of your bibimbap bowl with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks.
jungkook noisily drinks the final sips of his banana milk. afterwards, he makes a game out of shooting the box in the trash bin.
âwhat could that be?â he asks, doubtful.
he sits on the chair beside your bed. you greet him with a delighted grin, licking your thumb stained with gochujang.
âyou proved your love. you committed a crime for me.â
he gasps to humor you, body freezing as if heâs currently processing the newly-learned information in his brain.
âoh? youâre right- i did! and you know what? iâd do it again!â
with a mouthful of rice, you shake your head in disagreement furiously. âyouâre cute. but thatâs the first and last.â
âbut how are you sure that itâs the first?â he raises an eyebrow quizically.
silly enough, you envy him for being able to do so.
you hum in thought. âi guess youâve stolen a few things for me, too.â
âfew? you mean a loooot?â
âyouâre the one who brings home food and random things.â you roll your eyes. âi never ask you to.â
âyou told me you wanted the service bell!â
you feel yourself become flushed with sheepishness. heâs not lying. youâve always found the object fascinating as a child, so you couldnât help but to tell him to sneakily take one home after filming a competitive run bts episode.
did you have a silly phase where you and jungkook used it to summon each other just to laugh together about it?
perhaps.
âwell, youâre rich. you couldâve bought me one instead.â
âbut it was already there.â he reasons with a wide grin, gesturing infront of him. âi wanted to give it to my lover right away.â
his lover?
jungkook has successfully replaced your frown with an enamored smile.
âi made your heart flutter just now, didnât i?â
a hospital stay has never felt this comfortableâ not terrifying. you have stitches on your face and to add to that, this hospital gown feels super unflattering. somehow, your boyfriendâs loving gaze remains steady and you are melting.
âshut up,â you mutter, flustered, handing him the pair of chopsticks. âplease eat with me. i canât finish this on my own.â
â
âwhy would you let them put the needle in my dominant hand?â
you stomp your feet on the ground as jungkook squeezes some toothpaste onto a newly-bought toothbrush.
âiâm sorry! i was too stressed out so i just pointed! i think i got confused with- with left and right.â
you didnât realize this while you were eating; that you were unconsciously holding the spoon with your non-dominant hand because the other felt uncomfortable. maybe because it was a simple task, scooping food and bringing it to your mouth. brushing your teeth, on the other hand⌠can be quite an arm workout.
âeeeee!â
he shows his complete set of teeth, urging you to do the same. you stare at him blankly.
âeeeee!â he repeats with heightened enthusiasm.
left with no other choiceâ you copy his awkward smile.
âthere we go!â he praises you with an over-enthusiastic beam.
he carries on to brush your teeth, gingerly holding your chin to keep you steady as he does his job.
this is the first time jungkook is doing this for you. today is definitely not one of your finest moments. it feels a bit silly to be in this situation, and you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in this position in the first place. you can see that heâs trying his bestâunnecessarily focusedâand that he loves you, but you just hate giving him a hard time.
with a soft smile, he wipes the bubbles that overflowed past your lips.
âokay, spit.â
you spit out more of the bubbles on the sink. you assume that heâs finished, except heâs making another vowel sound for you to mimic the mouth shape of.
âahhhh-â
âthis is embarrassing!â
âbaby, really? this is where you draw the line?â he playfully squeezes your cheeks together. âitâs almost over! ahhhh!â
and you let him do this thing, but not without a glare that is masking the embarrassing truth: you might be enjoying this more than you care to admit.
âsee? was that so bad?â
as he tenderly pats your face dry in the aftermath, he says: âiâm sorry. bear with it a little more. let me take care of you so youâll be healthy again.â and you feel every ounce of his sincerity pierce through the barriers surrounding your soul.
âstop itâŚâ your voice suddenly comes out broken.
you want to put all the blame on your period for the tears that are now brimming your eyes, but jungkook is your biggest weakness of all and that is an explanation enough.
âwhy are you crying?â he panics. âwhat did i say?â
âitâs your fault.â
you break down into loud sobs, incapable of even keeping your eyes open. you never understood why we close our eyes when we cry, but right now, you know that you canât bear to witness his reaction.
âyouâre so sweet.â
the towel that was wiping the water from your mouth is now drying the tears from your stained cheeks.
âam i making you sad?â
you furiously shake your head. how could he say such a thing? he is the greatest joy of your life.
âno?â
âno!â
âokay, come here then.â
he wraps his arms around your trembling figure, caging you in the solace of his entire existence. a sense of calmness washes over your system, especially as he runs his hand across your back in gentle strokes. this isnât his goal though, it seems. you hear none of his quiet shushes beseeching you to stop breaking his heart. he hopes you let go of everything that has been weighing on you, but he has already eased all your pains by loving you.
âugh, i probably look horrible right now.â you force a chuckle to lighten up the mood, wiping your face with the back of your free hand. âi feel gross.â
âthatâs not true.â he gazes at you fondly, brushing your hair with his fingers. âitâs actually infuriating how you look so beautiful still.â
âi know. iâm nice to look at; thatâs why you tolerate my attitude.â you conclude in jest.
âyeah, sometimes.â he rides on the joke.
âwhatâŚ?â
âiâm joking!â he rushes to take it back with a laugh. âof course iâm joking!â
you pout. âare you really?â
âoh, come onnnn.â
he coaxes you with a kiss on the lipsâ a good morning kiss long overdue. youâve been spoiled rotten with affection; he knows you need more than one. he interrupts himself several times to kiss you.
âyou know iâll love you until our hair turns white and our skin all wrinkly.â
to be brutally honest, youâre not fond of imagining that far ahead. itâs daunting. you doubt your capability to age with grace. youâre horrified by the thought of having the majority of your life behind you. nostalgia has always been more bitter than sweet. but maybe this memory could be the sweetest of all, if jungkook truly stays by your side until then. in a cottage at the countryside like he said once, or a cabin by the ocean.
youâre both so young; so arrogant when it comes to making promises that are a shot in the dark. so fucking in love.
âme too.â you half-smile, scrunching your noseâ a telltale sign of your joy. ânow, get out. i really need to pee.â
his face becomes drained of blood. âbut youâre st-â
âi wonât lock the door this time.â you cup his cheek, looking at his eyes reassuringly. âwe donât need property damage added to the bill.â
â
âdid you not hurt yourself?â
âme?â
âyou broke down the door. thatâs not easy to do.â
you and jungkook make the best out of a bad deal. youâre squeezed together on the bed, browsing through television channels that seem to never end.
âit was easy because you were on the other side of it.â
that is what he claims confidently, but you are not fully convinced.
âwow, why do they have more channels than we do at home?â
âyou didnât answer my question.â you pout. âdid you hurt yourself?â
âi didnât hurt myself. iâm totally okay. i promise.â
he maintains eye-contact as he speaks. given the assurance, your tight chest unrestricts. jungkook is not a good liar. itâs a trait that causes him inconvenience every now and then, but it helps you to sleep soundly at night.
âshould we just watch funny animal videos on youtube?â
âi guess thatâs fine.â
it doesnât show but you feel excitement run in your veins aside from the iv fluids that feel peculiarly cold.
from under your cheek, his chest vibrates with a giggle. âokay, hold on.â
as he pulls up the application, you tangle your legs together beneath the thin blanket. you hear the rapid tap tap tap of the remote control navigating the keypad while he types on the search bar, but your attention is someplace else. youâve found the crook of his neck to sneak into, lazily kissing every inch of his exposed skin. your lips eventually trail up to his jaw. he smells so nice. youâre addicted.
âbaby, someone can enter any minute.â
âiâm not doing anything.â you mumble.
you smile against his lips when he gives you a kiss as sweet as honey anyway.
âiâm curious about another thing.â
âwhatâs that?â
âdid you cry?â
he comes to a still. the answer to that question requires a little time and thought.
âalmostâŚâ
âwhy almost?â
âno time. i had to bring you here, of course.â he replies.
you huff a laugh, exhaling a twinge of melancholia. âdonât cry.â
âi wonât. iâm happy now because youâre awake and fighting with me.â
âow-â
your cry of pain is silenced when he squeezes you in an embrace that makes it nearly impossible to breathe.
âred panda!â
a squeal assaults both of your hearing as soon as your eyes land on the wide screen infront of the bed.
âi want one so fucking bad.â
the enunciated curse makes your boyfriend crack up in amusement. âthat much?!â
â
jungkook opens his eyes to a nurse lightly nudging him awake.
âiâm sorry, i had to wake you up. i need to check vitals and draw blood.â
âshit, iâm sorry.â he panics.
his brain is foggy from the nap, but he still carefully sits up on the bed, wary of the iv line connected to your hand.
âi⌠was tired and i fell asleep.â
âitâs no problem; donât worry.â
she smiles at him, but he doesnât see it.
âyou look adorable sleeping.â
âah, really?â he awkwardly responds, absentminded. âitâs embarrassing.â
he stands on your side, about to disturb your peaceful rest much as it makes his heart ache with guilt, but youâre already stirring due to the absence of his warmth.
your heavy eyelids blink at the nurse in curiosity. âoh⌠do you need my blood?â
âyes, but iâll take your blood pressure and temperature first.â
âokay,â you mumble, offering your arm. âit might be higher now because iâm scared.â
she chuckles at your joke. jungkook tries to share an endeared look with her and non-verbally communicate adorable, right?
âi promise iâll be quick. although we definitely want it to be higher than earlierâs.â
you wince as the cuff around your upper arm goes as tight as it could, and you sigh at the same time that it begins to deflate.
âgood, good, good,â she chants with a mumble. âitâs back in the normal range againâŚâ
she brings out a digital thermometer from her pocket.
âyou know where this goes.â
she hands it over to you, and you awkwardly place it in your armpit, holding it in place. itâs quiet as you wait for the device to make the beeping sound, except for her pen creating friction with your chart as she takes down notes.
âhowâs your stitches? do you feel any discomfort?â
âitâs fine. thank you.â
not long after, you hear the beep. you return the thermometer to her, but not before taking a peak at the numbers displayed on the tiny screen. 36.8°C. you think youâll live.
âiâll draw your blood now.â
the nurseâs voice is sweet and reassuring, but it doesnât quite ease the nervousness evident on your expression. your pupils shake as you watch her disinfect the area, and then comes out the long needle.
another one, jungkook laments inside.
â____, iâm right here.â
you crane your head, whimpering out his name. âjungkook,â
âit will be just a pinch. iâm inserting the needle now, alright?â
you take a sharp inhale.
if only he could switch positions with you, he would do it in a heartbeat. unfortunately, all he can do is caress your hair and whisper that it will be over soon.
âit hurts.â your damp eyelashes flutter, face twisting in discomfort. âi donât like it.â
really, just a pinch? obviously a lie.
âhey, baby. look at the tv.â
the autoplay was left turned on after you fell asleep together. inside the screen is a puppy rolling around a snow-covered lawn. the wagging of its tail, the wide smile, and the pupils as big as boba balls: they all scream the happiness of an innocent.
âitâs so cute⌠i miss bam already. can we go to a dog park again?â
âof course!â
that promise sparks your smile. you turn to your side, and jungkook also catches a glimpse of the cotton taped to where you were poked.
âall done. you can go back to resting.â
âthank you. will you need to take blood again?â you inquire at the nurse.
âhm, probably. it depends on the doctor based on the results we get from this one.â
âcanât you just do it while iâm asleep? or is that not allowed?â
âbabyâŚâ jungkook snorts, hiding his face behind the palm of his hands.
the nurse laughs at your desperate suggestion. âthat is honestly not a rare request, but the thing is⌠you might wake up in the middle of it and injure yourself. we canât do that.â
âthat wonât be a problem!â you passionately argue your case. âiâm a deep sleeper. seriously!â
âah, thank you so much for your hard work!âjungkook intervenes, bowing to the nurse out of respect and gratitude. âiâm sure youâre busy. i will handle this!â
âoh yes, yes- thank you. please donât forget the medicine for after dinner.â
âi wonât!â
âif you need anything, you know where to find me again.â
âyes,â he nods, chuckling. âthank you.â
âthen i should leaveâŚ? but youâll see me again later! bye!â
the door shuts, and his attention lands on your unimpressed form: a blank stare and arms folded infront of your chest.
uh-oh.
âdid she seriously wink while saying that?â
âwhat?â he freezes, genuinely clueless. âi donât know. i didnât see anything. i was looking at you.â
âiâm right here- iâm the patient. why would you need anything from her? huh? why is she so excited to see you again?â you ramble angrily.
âright?!â
he climbs on the bed, reclaiming his spot next to you.
âthat was weird.â
âwhat if she made it hurt on purpose? thatâŚâ you frown, glancing at your arm. âthat didnât really feel like a pinch to me.â
âey, calm down. she wouldnât.â he makes a doubtful face, laughing off the accusation. ââŚi donât think so?â
you blink, exhaling in disbelief. âare you taking her side now?â
âof course not! baby, iâm just saying⌠a professional wonât do that.â
âwhy not? sheâs still human. humans do stupid things when they like someone. she obviously likes you.â
âand so what?â
he grins with a spark of mischief, leaving an inch of a distance between your lips.
âiâm obviously yours.â
but you turn your cheek and your eyes fall on your lap, a pout highlighting your downcast mood.
âitâs so annoying.â
the regret sinks in after. he shouldâve stuck to the golden rule: agree with everything that you say. thereâs no point in having an argument no one will win. does it matter whoâs right and wrong if each otherâs sadness is contagious in addition to their own? your gut has almost always been right, and heâs old enough to be conscious of not allowing a stranger to put a dent on your relationship.
âare you serious? are you uncomfortable?â he tilts his head to try and get a better look at your face. âshould i request for a different nurse?â
itâs quiet for a beat and he feels inclined to fill the silence with whatever enters his mind.
âi love you.â
almost immediately, your features soften and he knows your heart is also melting. the two of you bite the inside of your cheeks to hide a smile.
âno, thereâs no need for that.â
but he still canât help but to be worried. your peace of mind is his top priority. he doesnât want you to be more stressed out, especially by things that he has the power to solve.
âare you sure?â
âshe pissed me off. i need to piss her off too.â
of course, his ever stubborn and competitive lover. he sits up properly, amused and curious.
âand how will you do that?â
âi donât know,â you nonchalantly shrug. âiâll come up with something.â
â
âcome up with what?â
to your surprise, a voice you havenât heard in weeks echoes from the door.
âmomâŚ?â
youâre stunned after only hearing yourself react to jungkookâs motherâs unexpected entrance. your head whips to his direction; your eyes wordlessly interrogating him.
âi need to go to work so i called her to watch over you.â he explains.
âwhy would you do that?â you argue with him as quietly as possible, lips barely moving as you try to hide your face from your mother-in-law. again, not one of your finest moments. âyou didnât have to. i can take care of myself.â
âbut you donât have to because you have us.â
jungkook marks the conversation finished with a kiss pressed to your temple, leaving you dumbfounded. he jumps off the bed and for a split second, you make eye-contact with his mother before he towered over her for a quick hug.
her kind smile is embroidered in your memory; a memory that wraps your heart in a type of warmth only a mother can provide.
âmom! iâm sorry. i really, really, really need to leave now. but! iâll try to come back early so you can go home early too.â
âaigoo, stop stressing yourself out.â
jungkook receives a slap on the back, somehow more loving can scolding.
âi can stay the night so do what you need to do. you donât have to worry.â
âitâs not only because iâm worried!â
she sassily puts a hand over her waist. it takes everything in you not to laugh out loud.
âthen what else?â
âmom! what else?â he cheekily smiles. âof course iâll miss ____ too much.â
did your boyfriend just� to his mother? your jaw becomes slack from the shame.
âi missed ____ too!â she contests. âgo to work and give us our alone time.â
you shyly smile when she transfers her attention from her son to you.
âhello, my baby. are you hungry?â
â
âdoes my son feed you well?â
âhe does! but itâs funny- other mothers ask the opposite. are you feeding my son well? do you make sure heâs comfortable?â
you think out loud, transfixed on how she peels oranges with ease. your hands would always be stained by the juices, (and eyes red and teary from accidental splashes) (itâs too embarrassing to even think about) but hers are still magically clean.
âis that so?â
you graciously accept the slice she feeds you. she laughs when your face lights up like a christmas tree one more time. itâs way sweeter than you anticipated. you canât get over how delicious it is.
âmhmm!â
perhaps you relied too much on dramas when it came to your expectations of what a relationship with your in-laws would look like. you imagined yourself running around like a dog trying to prove yourself worthy of their son, yet for some reason, it looks like they adore you for simply existing. it makes you feel extremely grateful, but you donât understand.
âmom, i have a question⌠i know itâs probably too late to ask this now, butâŚâ
âwhat could that be?â
âare you really not against me and jungkook living together?â you swallow your fear of the possibility of an unpleasant truth. âare you not⌠worried⌠that iâm receiving too much from him?â
because you would understand the apprehension. as a parent, oneâs main concern would be their child. to outside eyes, itâs easy to come to the conclusion that jungkook is being taken advantage of and heâd be better off dating someone with the same status. sometimes you wish you were that someone too.
she utters your name sadly.
âhe receives happiness and love from you. those are the most valuable things you could give to a person.â
she caresses your hair like she wants to erase the anxiety poisoning your mind.
âmy dear, how come youâre worried about that until now? havenât we told you? youâre part of the family. forget about my sister! i donât welcome her negativity in our house!â
âliving together is different. itâs a big deal. it normally happens in a relationship afterâŚâ the following words feel foreign in your mouth; they come out quieter than the rest of your sentence. âgetting married.â
âthen tell me. why did you agree to live with him?â
because youâre selfish. because you want more time that you can have him all to yourself. because you want to be accessibleâ the first person he runs to when heâs seeking comfort and stability. because you want goodnight and good morning kisses. because you were afraid of the risks but youâve grown addicted to the thrill of love.
âhe said⌠no matter how hard i push him away, he will stay within my reach.â
you hear your own shaky breathing. that momentâ itâs still burned into your memory. youâre still holding on to it. itâs a promise he is yet to break and you pray that he never, ever does.
âi donât want to push him away. i want to be within his reach too.â
youâre two people loving each other with everything within your means. after the endless pains and the deafening noise, you like to think thatâs what makes this relationship worth fighting for.
âdoes my opinion still matter knowing that? will you let me stop you?â
âno, i wonât. iâd make you change your mind.â
if you had a machine connected to you, she would see how your heart rate has gone off the charts. but youâre known to say whateverâs on your mind and that, much to your dismay, isnât switched off despite sitting infront of the woman who birthed and raised the love of your life.
you sniffle, pursing your lips nervously. âbut i feel like there might be a right answer to that one.â
what you didnât expect was her to laugh until her belly hurts; placing a hand over her mouth in an effort to calm herself down and keep grace.
âmom! stop, iâm so embarrassed!â
âno, ____, donât get me wrong!â
she is teary-eyed as she gathers herself together.
âthe more time i spend with you, the more i realize why jungkook loves you so much. iâve seen him show incredible commitment twice. do you know that? first, when he went to seoul to become a singer. second, when he told us he got an apartment because he wants to be with you⌠of course, as his mother, iâll admit that heâs young when he made those decisions, but he always proves to me that heâs smart and responsible.â
the urge to cry returns and strengthens as she speaks. you feel your eyelashes become damp with unshed tears. you donât know how to act. you fiddle with your fingers. you stare at the strings and peels of the oranges you can still taste.
âi believe we both know jungkookâs personality well. he wouldnât have let me stop him either. iâm happy to know that youâll fight for him too.â
âthank youâŚâ
âtsk, tsk, tsk- what is there to cry about? jungkook will get angry at me if he discovers that i made you cry.â
she wipes away your tears; however, the unmistakable scent of oranges that has clung to her hands and the affection in her tone bring forth a waterfall.
âseeing this makes me sadder.â she laments, referring to the stitches on your face.
âme too,â you babble in the midst of quiet sobs. âit makes me sad. itâs so ugly.â
â
you canât remember the last time you felt this alone. perhaps itâs the effect of staying in an unfamiliar building of complete strangers. without your mobile phone, may you add. you managed to persuade jungkookâs mother to leave an hour ago because you didnât want her to sleep on the uncomfortable couch.
the lights are turned off except for the lamp beside your bed, and with the television muted, you could hear a hairpin drop.
youâre alone and you can do whatever you want.
you dragged the visitorâs chair infront of the window to admire the garden like itâs a painting in motion. you watched people converse, stroll, and drink coffee. you watched them run for shelter when the clouds became too heavy and the sky began to fall. oh, so thatâs why you couldnât see the stars.
at this moment, thereâs nothing left to amuse yourself with but the trembling of the leaves and the raindrops forming temporary rings when they fall in the water fountain.
your senses crave for more. you reach over and crack open the window, just enough to allow the sound of the rain and the scent of it permeating the earth to enter your room.
âthis is kind of peaceful.â you whisper, amazed by the new lightness carried by your heart.
you close your eyes and you breathe in the petrichor deeply. you want nature in your lungs as a reminder that youâre alive. you welcome the cold wind kissing your face. you can feel your hair touching your neck. you always do, but for once, youâre choosing to acknowledge it. your thumb slowly brushes across the palm of your hand, perceiving the texture of your skin, the softness, and the lines. and your feet, theyâre in the clouds, the fluffy slippers jungkookâs mother bought outside because she knows theyâre your favorite to wear.
youâve loved and despised this body for a million different reasons. your mind and heart have accepted defeat countless times, but your body wakes up to every brand new day without fail. your body implores you to live. did it finally give up on you today?
âbaby!â
you look behind to search for the source of the sound.
you get your answer from the kiss planted on your lips.
you only saw his face for a split second, but even if you had your eyes closed, youâd know it has to be jungkook kissing you.
you can smell him. youâve memorized the way the shape of his lips fits with yours.
oh, the sounds of his kisses too. you like to call them the butterfly call because they make butterflies appear in your stomach.
you could trace the scar on his cheek with your finger if you want to.
god, what a privilege it is to experience life in this vessel.
a knock on the door forces you to part too early. the same nurse from earlier enters and you internally scream all the curse words in your dictionary. jungkook acknowledges her with a bow and a quick âhelloâ before squatting down infront of you.
âi committed another crime for you today.â
âhuh?â
your wide, confused eyes take a glimpse at the nurse who is doing something with the controls of your iv line.
hahaha⌠she knows heâs not serious, right?
âwhat did you do?â
his smile is so big that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons. youâd make a guess but there is an infinite amount of things jungkook could possibly be this excited about.
âŚapparently, one of them would be strawberry cake.
you gape at the transparent box he was hiding behind his back all along.
âdid you steal somebodyâs birthday cake?!â
âitâs a producerâs birthday and he received lots of cakes, so he told me i can take one home.â
âhow is it stealing if he allowed you to take it?â
he tosses his backpack on the couch as he sets down the box on the table. he rummages through the bag his mother left behind, successfully bringing out a spoon. meanwhile, you get your blood pressure taken again.
as he opens the box, he sends a smirk your way.
âno. i hid the strawberry cake because thereâs so many who wanted to eat it.â
âare you crazy?!â
the nurse clicks her tongue. âdonât talk and stay still, please.â
âoh,â your hand flies to your mouth on instinct. âiâm sorry.â
âiâm sorry.â jungkook also apologizes.
you and your boyfriend secretly share a look, exchanging a smile that is stifled laughter inside. your lips remain zipped as the nurse restarts the process of taking your blood pressure. on the other hand, jungkook eats a spoonful of cake, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. you roll your eyes and he tries harder to laugh without a sound.
seconds later, he grumbles about the room being too warm. he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand, and he does the worst thing he could possibly do at this moment. he reaches for his back, pulling his sweater over his head. naturally, his inner shirt rides up and allows wandering eyes a peak at his glorious toned abdomen.
passed out in the shower. busted your eyebrow open. front-row seat for a woman flirting and ogling at your boyfriend.
how fucking great.
âhello? i think itâs done.â you snap.
âa-ah, yes.â
you hear her swallow as she removes the cuff from your arm. she may be wearing a mask but sheâs hot and red all the way to her ears. youâve only read about it in books. you didnât even believe this could happen in real life until now.
âi will check your temperature too.â
âgo on.â
you repeat the same process from hours earlier, drumming your fingers on your thigh as you wait for the beep.
âyah, why is the window open? youâll catch a cold.â
jungkook, yet again, steals the attention of every person in the room when he rises to his feet. his shadow casts over you as he closes the window.
âi wanted to smell the rain.â
âis the room getting too stuffy for you?â
you shrug. âi just wanted to smell the rain.â
you feel the nurseâs stare. you offer her a smile and her nameplate briefly gets caught by your vision. kang ji-woo.
âji-woo; thatâs a pretty name.â you pay her a sincere compliment. âitâs healing, donât you think?â
âyes? uh-uhm, y-yesâŚâ she replies, unsure and confused by the sudden small talk. âactually, itâs been linked to a reduction in stress and anxiety levels.â
âthank you! babe, did you hear that?â
âuhuh, think about my stress and anxiety levels.â he leans against the window with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at you.
so now heâs flexing his arm muscles. cool, cool, cool. you know heâs not doing it on purpose and his entire existence is just naturally hot and itâs infuriating.
âiâve been worried sick about you all day.â
his statement makes you frown for a new reason. at the same moment, the thermometer beeps.
âcould you please tell him that iâm fine?â
â37.3, uhhh- thatâs slightly above normal. how do you feel? does your head hurt? are you cold?â
âi feel fine though?â
âokay. please take a lot of rest and stay warmâŚâ her gaze lingers at jungkook who is blocking the window. âkeep the window closed. hopefully it wonât be higher when i check again later.â
seriously?! you could cry. you want to go home where itâs comfortable. where itâs only you and jungkook and bam.
but you bet somebody would be happy if you had to stay longer.
âiâll look after ____.â your boyfriend sighs, pulling out a jacket from his backpack.
âyou shouldnât have kissed me. what if you get sick?â
your blatantness causes the nurse to pause in updating your chart. she awkwardly clears her throat. âyeah⌠that⌠that isnât currently advisable.â
âiâm sorry. iâll control myself.â
you earn a glare from jungkook, then he fakes a smile which you gladly return.
âbefore you go, may i request for a new blanket? sorry, i spilled something earlier.â
âsure thing! iâll come back with that right away.â
â
âshe seemed happy to leave.â jungkook remarks. âi canât tell if you were actually being nice or being passive aggressive.â
you smile innocently, taking a bite off the strawberry you stole from the top of the cake. âiâm a fucking angel.â
damn it, why is he suddenly turned on?
were you serious about the no kiss rule?
âwould you rather i be the type to pull their hair?â
he shakes his head with a laugh. âbut you did slap someone once.â
âyou want to see me that furious again?â
ânever in my wildest dreams.â
he kisses the top of your head, producing an exaggerated âmmmwah!â sound that makes you giggle happily.
âhere, have some more cake.â
he offers you a spoonful of cake.
no, itâs bigger.
as a matter of fact, the piece could probably pass off as a cupcake.
you gawk at it as if youâre figuring out the logistics of putting it in your mouth. his heart does a flip when you tilt your head and do your best to take in the whole thing. however, in the middle of it, you decide that you canât, and you end up biting it off a little more than halfway.
oh my god, he loves you. he loves you. youâre so fucking cute.
your cheeks are full as you struggle to chew. you cover your mouth with your hand but they donât touch. youâre so elegant in your ways and sometimes he wonders how youâre still attracted to him after he acts stupid.
also, plain white nails? thatâs new. you always want colors.
âyour nails look pretty.â
he is so focused on you that he fails to take notice of another presence occupying the room.
âyour mom did them for me.â
âi figured. she wants to do mother-daughter things with you.â
the short break of silence speaks volumes. you look at him, blinking with eyes hinting at a type of joy youâre lost on how to express.
âdid you choose white?â
âno. we were watching a drama and it was the coupleâs wedding.â
oh, that makes total sense.
âlet me guess,â he trails off with a half-embarrassed, half-entertained smile. âshe asked when we will get married?â
âwhy would she ask me that? how would i know?â you scoff.
his heart starts at a thousand miles per hour. fuck, are you hinting at him? are you messing with his feelings again? with you, he always needs to remind himself to be rational.
âi need more time to prove to you that iâm husband material.â
âwhat? stop it. i donât care. i donât need a ring.â
your unpredictableness pushes him to the edge of his seat.
âdonât pressure yourself. you already treat me way better than most husbands do their wives.â
the pride painted on your face is unmistakable. he feels his heart swelling in his chest. has he been doing a better job than he originally thought? after what happened today, he was terrified that he hasnât been paying enough attention to you.
âiâm so happy with what we have.â
you offer him a delicate smile before eating the rest of the cake that was left on the spoon. he swears thereâs a glowing halo above your head.
could your temperature have magically dropped in the past five minutes? would you kill him if he kissed you right now?
âis there anything else i could assist you with?â
and then he is rudely snapped out of his hopeless adoration and daydreaming.
âthatâs all! thank you for your hard work!â you chirp.
he turns to the nurse with a lovesick grin.
âplease come to our wedding.â
the unforeseen wedding invitation earns him a slap on the chest. he clutches the affected area, wincing in pain.
he hears you mutter. âdonât invite strangers to our wedding.â
the irritated glare he predicted to face isnât there. rather, youâre wearing the flustered smile he only sees when he knows that he did something to make you fall for him all over again.
before ji-woo left, she tried to subtly reject the invitation by jokingly saying that sheâd die to go, but most probably, sheâd have to work that day. you know⌠being an overworked hospital employee and all. you caught her glancing at you with bitterness failed to be guised as indifference. you get it. youâd hate it if another person was in your place. frankly speaking, you could be miles pettier.
your boyfriend wipes the corner of your lips, thoughtless as he licks off the cake frosting from his thumb.
damn it, you wish she was also here for that.
âyou havenât stopped smiling.â
âyou love me and you never let me forget that.â
you give an answer despite the lack of a question mark.
you just made his world stop spinning on its axis and youâre not even aware.
jungkook knows the heavenly feeling of knowing that he is loved, but he has never deeply considered the joy and relief when the person he loves believes that he loves them.
âiâm so lucky. i love you.â
you push yourself up to plant a kiss on his forehead. itâs a rarity he treasures and keeps.
âi love you too.â
he cries infront of you.
almost.
he excuses himself to the bathroom and cries in there a little.
youâre so easy to loveâ thatâs why it makes him want to do difficult things for you. like commit more crimes?
#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook one shot#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook au#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#bts fluff#bts reaction#jungkook smut
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SWEET RELIEF - C.S
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.. â â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
Chris sturniolo x fmreader
summary: Chris canât help but get a bit worked up while on a tutoring study call with you, when you realise what heâs doing, you only pushing him further to the edge.
content warning: male masturbtion; dirty thoughts; praise kink
word count: 2.8k
ŕźśâ˘ââŕ¨âĄŕ§âââ˘ŕźś
Chris was a little embarrassed with how fast he had picked up the phone call from you, not to mention the blush that had spread across his cheeks and his quickly paced heartbeat when he heard your sweet voice ring through the speakers.Â
âHey, Chris!â You smiled as you spread your small pile of assessments and study papers across your desk to get yourself prepared. This had been a regular thing on Wednesdays and Saturdays for the past two months. You guys would set up a phone call together as you would help him study as Chris was falling behind in classâŚa lot. You guys had to do it over the phone as both houses were always so busy due to Chrisâs brothers and your family always occupying your living spaces, making it difficult to have privacy and quiet to help him focus and bring his grades up. Therefore, you resulted in two easy phone calls across the week, which Chris always enjoyed a little too much.Â
Chris loved that you could never see him and what he was doing at the sound of your voice over the phone. The sweet ring of it through the speakers. The way you ramble so passionately about the work. Yeah⌠he definitely liked having the privacy of his room for these calls more then heâd like to admit. Although he can never help but imagine what you looked like, what you were doing. Fuck⌠heâs been on the call for no more than ten second and heâs already getting himself worked up.Â
âChrisâŚ?â He heard you voice agin. Fuck that voice.Â
âYeah... Iâm here, hey y/n.â He couldnât help the smile that rose onto his lips hearing hear giggle at his slow usual response.Â
âOkay well glad you're here,â you say readying the paper you had recently got giving by your teacher, on to the top of the pill of books you had been working on, âwhy donât you fine the paper that mr Hudson gave us today and we will work through that one today, yeah?â You say cutely but trying not to talk so fast so Chris could take in the information.Â
âYeah, yeah sureâŚâ he buries his way through his overflowing piles of unfinished homework to find the paper that was given to him today by his teacher âwhy did he give us the paper today, anyway?â Chris huffs, flipping to the first page that you wanted to start working on.Â
âI have no idea, itâs not like we donât already get enough work given to us on Mondays and Fridays, but now on Wednesdays too? Itâs getting a bit intense at this point!â
Chris hums in agreement, loving the way you get worked up about things. However, once you were done with your small rant, you let out a sign that was so quiet only the most observant person would notice it, lucky for you, Chris was that person. As you made the noise Chris felt a familiar warm feeling in his lower stomach, just imagining you making that noise in a very different scenarioâŚ
âDid you see jenny today?â You interrupted his quickly drifting dirty thought, referring to girl who passes every class, not using her smarts but her body instead, fucking her way to good grades.Â
âNo, why? What was she doing this time?â Chris asked slowly, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and suppress his dirty thought of you.Â
âWoah Iâm surprised you didnât see her! She was practically pushing her tits out of her very tiny top to try and get out of this paperâŚ. practically had all the guys drooling,â you huffed. Youâd always been quite jealous of Jennifer. She could literally get any guy she wanted and could always get out of these stupid papers. It was irritating to people like you who tried their very hardest in their schoolwork and seem to go zero appreciation for it, when all jenny does is gossip, do her obnoxiously babyish laugh and pop a tit, therefore having the whole classroom wrapped around her finger. It was pathetic.
âNah, guess i donât really care that much about her,â Chris was very aware of Jennyâs usual inappropriate behaviour, yet he couldnât pull his eyes away from you all through that class. He was sat near the back of the class, so he had a good view of his surroundings and could easily see you sat a few rows in-front of him, at the perfect angle so her couple see you left side perfectly. Chris simply couldnât understand how anyone could pay attention in that class knowing that you were in there, not jenny but you.Â
Your short denim mini shirt that accentuated you ass and hips so perfectly and highlighting your legs. However, to keep yourself warmer and seem more modest, you through a knitted sweater over the top, making Chrisâs eager to rip it off and see what you hid beneath the layers of warm wear. God, if there was nobody else in that classroom, he would not hesitate you lift you up on the desk and kiss up your legs to your perfect thighs and up your body. He would make sure to take perfect care of you, bring his lips underneath your sweater and bring his hand to you perfectly round and covered tits.Â
Full, he could barely take it anymore. He could feel his harder member quickly growing underneath his get sweats, but he didnât want to stop. No⌠he couldnât stop himself.
âHuh, thats surprising, i couldâve sworn that the guys next to me literally had dribble on his chin, it was crazy.â You laughed.Â
Fuck that laugh. Chris brought his hand up to his crotch and felt where he had grown harder just thinking of you. He began to palm himself, trying to relieve the growing soreness between his legs.Â
"We should get started now." You unintentionally break his train of thought, as he gulps, silently cursing at himself. "Because I you barely understood what was going on it that class."
"Uh, yeah." Chris coughed, forcing himself to focus. "What did you want to start with?"Â
You voice begins to drift into an explanation of what was said at the beginning of the class, only worded in a simpler way, yet Chris could barely take in any of this information. You speak so innocently, brows furrowed, as Chris furrows his own for an entirely different reason.Â
He continues to palm his dick through his pants while your voice was sending small electric jolts through him. All the way down to his dick, which has begun to strain painfully against his pants beneath his hand. Christ, i canât actually be doing this right now-he thinks to himself. He licked his lips, quickly responding to what you were saying with a hum and an "ah, that makes makes more sense."Â
Chris doesn't mean to drown out your words. Because he's listening. But more so to the hilt of your voice, and how it would sound much breathier, as you gazed up at him. One of his fantasies had you on your knees, teasingly licking at his cock, as your devious eyes held his. He had orgasmed extremely quickly, multiple times, when he found this imagine in his head.Â
âSo thats basically the first part,â you continued to explain, unaware and completely oblivious to Chrisâs hand rubbing at himself on the other end of the line. Â
He wonât do more. He canât, this is just so wrong of him JustâŚrelieve a hint of tension. You continued to speak, and your words began to sound like something he wished he could grab, as his hand tightened on his bulge, his rubbing growing messy. His breathing had grown heavier, but he covered it up by saying âyesâs and ânoâs, answering your questions.Â
âSorry, Iâm rambling. Did you have any questions?â You ask, feeling as if Chris wasnât getting everything he needed out of your words. He had to spare a glance at his incomplete work, scanning to see if heâd written down any problems, trying to remember if he had any. Because the only problem he could think of right now is how his over-the-clothes rubbing was doing little to satisfy his need.Â
His cock was now rock hard, it was torturous. His mind began to glaze over with lustful thought of you âIâI donât think so.â He mutters out, his fingers reaching into the waistband of his sweats and briefs, pulling his cock, which was now leaking with drops of pre-cum and the tip was a bright rosy, red, much like his cheeks.
He imagined the way you would touch him. Would you be gentle and slow, or would you edge him and make sure heâs extremely overstimulated as you milk him dry. Chrisâs breathing stutters as he strokes himself. The little hums you make when you think have begun to make his hips thrust up into his palm. His other hand had tightened around the sheet, praying that you canât hear him jerking off to you. Chris becomes lost in your tone as his cock twitches.Â
âChris?â You slowly ask, making his hips jolt at the utterance of his name from your lips, but he tries to keep his voice of some composure.Â
âYeah?â He had to press his lips together after a needy whimper nearly falling.Â
âAre youâŚokay?âÂ
Your question makes him halt, much to his cockâs dismay. âW-what?â
âYou sound⌠i donât know, out of breath?â You say, behind the line trying to think of why.
âReally, you think?â He hums with a small smirk on his face enjoying the uncertainty in your tone and how innocent you mind must have been.  You nod to yourself, but then you catch the smallest of sounds fall straight from Chrisâs lips. You had to be mistaken, as it had almost sounded like one full of pleasure that could have only been as a result of one thing...Â
Your mouth opened in shock as you realise. Heâs out of breath because heâsâŚ
âChris.â You say again, hearing a stuttering whimper from him before he tries to cover it up by asking âyes?â again. Â
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
Chris curses himself because you sound suspicious. âIâm studying obviously. Being tutored s-so well... by you.â He says, really forcing down his cockâs wanting to just ask you to keep talking so he could reach his orgasm, attempting to stop himself from stuttering his words, but he just couldnât help it.Â
âYouâre sure youâre good?â You asked unconvinced, as a small smirk rose to your lips.
âNo. No, Iâm all good, i swear.â He says, really forcing his words to sound normal, as he had slowly begun to stroke himself again, his cock angry.Â
âAh huh, yeahâŚokay,â you knew what you were going to do, this was going to be fun. âDid i tell you how good you looked today?â
Chrisâs eyes opened, looking at his phone slightly trying to keep a steady pace of his raging cock but if you were going down this road of compliments, he probably wouldnât be able to take it much longer.
âUh, n-no,â he stutters pathetically, somehow unaware of the game you were playing.Â
âWell, you did, your hairâŚwow. I could just run my hands through it! How do you always get it looking so soft?â You paused momentarily, hearing Chrisâs surprised whimper. âSorry thats kind of a goofy thing to sayâŚsorry.â You were basically just teasing him now, the basic matters of the studying gone.
âI- no i donât think its goofy. a-at allâŚâ his words are broken up by that heaving panting.
âGod. really? Youâre so sweet chrisâŚwow,â You hum, making Chrisâs hips thrust up into his hand, his legs having widened as you spoke.Â
âR-really?â His eyelids began to feel heavy again, wanted nothing more but to see the darkness and use it as a canvas to paint his dirty images of you in his mind.Â
âYeah, i mean youâre the literal sweetestâ you hum lightly, âyou always make sure i havea seat in class, you listen to me when i speak and when i help you i study, you defend me in-front of your friends! Youâre so sweet! Such a sweet, good boy for meâ you were practically grinning at this point.
Chris could have sworn that your words could have sent him spiralling over the edge.âI a-am?â He asked, almost to clarify that this was real, that you were actually saying this to him.
âWell of course, and youâre always so busy as well, yet you always make time for me in your busy schedule. You must be stressed a lot of the time. I could always help youâŚrelax sometime, relieve some of yourâŚtension.â You had lowered your voice now in order to have a more seductive tone to your voice now.
Chris chokes on a whimper as he places his hand over his mouth, still thinking you donât know. âMy tensionâŚ?â
âI mean, yeah⌠i could alway give you a massage, rub you down, you know Iâve been told I am very good at givingâŚmassages.â It was becoming blatantly obvious what you were doing now but Chris mustâve been blinded and in a lustful haze because he still seemed to be completely oblivious to what you were doing. Continuously pumping his dick eagerly and chasing his release.
The thought of you sat on top of him, rubbing all down him in order to relax him was definitely doing the opposite effect and only working him up more. Fuck. He had almost come from the thought of you taking care of him. the tone you had dropped to makes his hand quicken as his hips had begun to grind into his palm.
âYouâd do that for me?â Chris whined, only imaging what else you would do for him almost sent him over the edge.
âOf course, i would baby, you would tell me where it feels good before i drag my hands down your bodyâŚâ Chris let out a pathetic whimper at not only the simple thought but at the nickname as well. Baby? Baby??! Oh, my lord he was going absolutely feral at this point, âhowever, through your clothes it mind be hard to properly get that tension out.âÂ
Chris moans through his teeth, as his hips pathetically thrust at your words. âNo clothes?âÂ
âNo clothes.â You confirm. âWould that be, okay? I wouldnât want to make you uncomfortableâ â
âYes.â His answer was immediate, cutting you short. He coughs. âThat would be fine.âÂ
You grin. âGood. Because that way I could really relieve some tension. Iâd have to straddle you of course.â You pause to hear chrisâs heavy breathing and the faint sound of his hand gliding along his cock. âYou may even have to flip around, because Iâve heard that the most tension can be by your collarbones and neck.âÂ
Chris nearly orgasmed at the thought of you straddling him, as your hands wandered his body. âAs in straddling..my front?âÂ
âYeah, is that okay?âÂ
âUh huh.â He hums, his cock twitching with a soon need to release.Â
âI could give you that massage the next time we study.â You say, making chrisâs breathing quicken at the possible reality of all that. âI could come over to yours.âÂ
At this point he couldnât care how desperate he sounded. âYes. Please, come anytime.âÂ
âOr maybe you should cum?â You ask, your innuendo strong, as pleasure began to rock through chrisâs body.Â
âWâwhat?âÂ
âCome to my place, i know yours is always super hectic.â You play it off, listening to the wet sounds his cock was making as you could hear how close he was to his orgasm.Â
âFuckâŚyeah that sounds good, i-if youâre happy then s-so am iâŚâ he was no biting his own lip so hard he couldâve sworn he was drawing some blood. He now had his back so far arched up off of his bed and was practically fucking up into his own hand.Â
âSee, again, you are alway thinkingâŚof me,â oh he was definitely thinking of you, thats for sure, âyou are such a good boy.â And that did it. His orgasm wracked through him as quiet whimpers and moans left his lips his hips grinding into nothing. Wishing the air was you. He watched as the white strings of cum coated and stained his dark shirt.Â
âFuckâ he let out a relieved groan, now not even hiding the action that he had just did.Â
âMaybe next time we study i should just jerk you off instead,â
Chrisâs eyes widened at what you had said, before realising how blatantly obvious what he was doing was. You giggled once again hearing Chrisâs heavy breathes, pleased to know that it was you who had pushed him over the edge.Â
âFuck, you can do whatever you want to me,â Chris let out with a deep breathe.Â
Oh, you certainly wouldâŚ
ŕźśâ˘ââŕ¨âĄŕ§âââ˘ŕźś
A/n : thank you so much for reading, this is literally my 3rd time trying to post this because I keep making mistakes đđI really hope you enjoy and if there are any more mistakes pls lmk
ily my angels đ (especially @gamermattsgf)
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#smut#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you
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Period Trouble
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: swearing, nothing else i think?
Summary: you wake up with your period and are forced to go on a mission with Logan of all people
Word count: 2.4k
A/N: literally obsessed with this man rn so ofc i had to write about him. also wolverine has enhanced senses including smell but its likeâŚ. barely shown in the movies so i had to search it up to be sure, and some part of me still doubts it but for the purposes of this fic he does have it
You woke up with a groan, immediately curling into a ball. You were early. You were early and you hadnât emotionally or physically prepared for having your period today, yet the world seemed ready to punish you, burdening you with an early cycle.
You checked the time, cursing every god and deity you knew when you realised you were supposed to have woken up half an hour ago. Wincing, you got up, your body screaming at the movement. Already your stomach was aching, the ghosts of cramps to come caressing your body.Â
There was knocking at your door, quiet yet firm. You already knew it was Storm on the other side of the door, no doubt in search of a reason why you failed to get up on time. It was going to be a long day.
You yelled out to Storm, promising to be out in five minutes, and got up, groggily looking for your clothes. When youâd tamed your hair and brushed your teeth, you exited your room to find Storm waiting on the other side, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.
She took one look at you and sighed. âWhat are you wearing?â
You looked down perplexed. â....my clothes?â
She raised her eyebrow. âYouâre on a mission today, remember?â
Fuck. You nearly let out a whine. You were not in the mood to go skulking around doing Xavierâs bidding when you had a constant throbbing pain assaulting your stomach, unreasonable mood swings, and exhaustion weighing you down.
Storm sent you a questioning look. âYou up for this?â
The mission was nothing big. Professor X needed you to collect some sort of rare herb that had recently been shipped into the nearest city, something he needed to complete a super secret experiment you werenât privy to. Heâd just asked for help and youâd volunteered.
Oh how you regretted that decision now.
âYeah Iâm fine,â you muttered. âLet me just get changed real quick.â
Getting into your previously decided upon outfit, a plain inconspicuous one intended to blend in, you left your room again, this time with no complaint from Storm. Your stomach gave an uncomfortable clench and you sighed, making a mental note to find some nurofen before leaving for the mission.
âWhy arenât you in your outfit?â you asked, just realising Storm wasnât wearing what you two had agreed upon yesterday.
She winced slightly. âCanât go. Filling in for some classes.â
Your face soured but you tried not to hold it against her. Storm loved her students, and given the choice of helping them or Xavier with a low level mission, sheâd obviously choose her kids. You couldnât blame her exactly, but it meant youâd have to go on this mission alone, while not impossible by any means it would make it slightly more difficult.
You sighed. âThatâs okay. I can go alone.â
When Storm winced even more your eyes narrowed in suspicion, following her with caution. âStormâŚ..â
She sighed guiltily. âXavier didnât want you to go alone. The herbâs too valuable.â
You tilted your head slightly as you entered the houseâs foyer. âSo who am I going with then?â
Stormâs eyes darted ahead, and you followed her gaze to find Logan Howlett leaning against the wall, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He smirked at you, âyouâre looking at him sweetheart.â
You resisted the urge to groan, instead sending Storm a dirty look. You didnât necessarily dislike Logan, but he was a lot to deal with, and you were already tired from your day that had barely begun.
You couldnât say all that with Logan standing there however, so you muttered a, âlovely,â and walked past the man to the garage.
He followed you silently, no quip or smart ass comment which was strange for him. Youâd just entered the garage, heading towards one of the cars, when you glanced back at him and found Logan stopped in the doorway, staring at you with a frown on his face. Or rather, a deeper frown than usual.
âWhat is it?â you asked him, standing at the hood of the car.
Loganâs eyes roved your body, searching for something. âYouâre injured.â
It was your turn to frown. âWhat? No Iâm not.â
He took a step forward, almost as if he was planning on looking for your alleged injury himself. âDonât bullshit me Y/n, I can smell your blood.â
You made a face. âWhat are you talking aboutâŚ..â you trailed off when you realised it, perhaps the most mortifying moment in your life.
Logan could smell your period blood. He thought you were bleeding from an injury.Â
You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks heat up. âIâm fine. Letâs go.â
He scoffed, walking towards you until you were face to face. You tried to step back and felt the hood of the car against your legs. âI can smell the fucking blood seeping out of you Y/n. I wouldnât call that fine.â
You gritted your teeth to stop yourself from snapping at him. âI can assure you, I am not injured.â
You moved to walk past him but he caught your wrist, forcing you back into your position pressed against the car. âIf you think I am going on this mission with you while youâre wounded, youâre out of your mind.â
âIâm not-â
âDo you think Iâm an idiot darl? Is that why youâre denying being hurt while I can literally smell it on you-â
You cut him off. âIâm on my period, Logan.â
He paused, staring at you with an indecipherable expression on his face. You waited for him to speak, feeling embarrassed and furious about it. Why should you be embarrassed of your period? He was the one who was pushing you, prodding you, forcing you to tell him the source of the bleeding. If your answer made him uncomfortable, that wasnât your fault nor your concern.
Eventually he spoke. âAlright then. Get in the car. Iâm driving.â
You scowled at him. âSays who?â
He didnât even bother looking at you, already in the driverâs seat. âSays me.â
You sighed but didnât argue further, silently getting into the passenger seat. Logan started the car, reversing it out of the garage and driving down the long winding driveway till you got to the street.
âItâs an hour's drive to the city, give or take,â you told Logan, setting the GPS up on the car.
Logan barely glanced at it, eyes on the road, a firm grip on the steering wheel. He didnât even respond to you. You sighed and turned away, looking out the window as the scenery passed you in flashes.
As the drive continued, you noticed Logan sending you glances every now and then. If you really focused on them, youâd almost say they seemed worried, concerned even, but they were always too quick for you to tell for certain. You were too preoccupied with your cramps that had started up anyway, and the lack of nurofen youâd forgotten to grab.
Finally, you arrived at the city, driving into the hustle and bustle of the crowded area. Loganâs hand tightened on the steering wheel, obviously not a fan of the traffic the city provided. You watched the stream of people through the window as Logan looked for a space to park, muttering under his breath.
You were mildly entertained at the amount of road rage he had, cursing every car that wasnât at least 10 metres over the speed limit. His jaw was clenched, hand fisting the steering wheel, yet he still looked at you here and there, like you were actually wounded.
When he eventually found a parking spot the two of you got out of the car and you looked at the address Xavier gave you.
âShould be somewhere along this street,â you murmured, eyes flicking from the piece of paper to the busy street.
Logan moved behind you, so close you could feel your back against his chest, and looked at the paper in your hand. He let out a grunt and moved past you, walking forwards. You frowned and hurried your pace, not wanting to lose him amidst the crowd of people.
Luck was certainly not your side, because soon enough youâd lost him, unable to see his black leather jacket in the throng of people. You hesitated, wondering if you should look for him or just go straight to the address, when you felt an arm around your waist.
âStay close to me,â Logan murmured into your war, his voice gravelly. âDonât wanna lose you again.â
You glanced at him as he continued walking, not moving his arm from your waist. âHowâd you find me?â
He gave you a smirk. âFollowed the smell of blood.â
Again you felt your cheeks heat but you glared at him defiantly, refusing to be embarrassed. He smirked at you, flashing his teeth, as you arrived in front of the address, a plain building home to some sort of florist.Â
Logan finally took his hand from your waist, walking to the door with you trailing behind him. A bell gave a little jingle as you entered, and you were immediately assaulted with the smell of flowers. Different sorts of plants took up every corner of the room and Loganâs face soured as he looked around, obviously not pleased with the environment.
An old woman sat behind a desk, watering a plant with a mini watering can. You walked up to her, Logan hot on your heels. When you stopped in front of the desk Logan was so close behind you you could actually feel his chest against your back.
âMrs May?â you asked.
The old woman looked at you with a smile, her eyes crinkling. âThatâs me. What can I help you two lovebirds with? Bouquet of roses? Lilies?â
You opened your mouth, surprised, and tried to find something to say. Being mistaken for a couple shouldnât have affected you so much, especially while on a mission, but you were flustered and could still feel Loganâs chest right against your back, his warmth almost dizzying.
âWeâre not here for flowers unfortunately,â Logan spoke, saving you. Except why didnât he specify you werenât a couple? Did that not matter to him, what some old lady thought, or did he enjoy the idea of being thought of as your boyfriend?
Oh god. What were you thinking? Stupid period hormones.Â
The old lady looked at you two curiously. âThen how can I help you?â
There was a pointed silence and you realised Logan was waiting for you to speak. You cleared your throat and spoke the random sequence of words Xavier had you memorise, that would inform Mrs May just what type of buyers you were.
The womanâs eyes lit up with recognition and she nodded her head slowly. âAh, yes, let me just go to the storage room quickly, Iâll be backâŚ.â
Mrs May tottered around the desk and through a side door, half hidden behind the multitude of plants covering the area, leaving you alone with Logan.
You took a step away from him and turned around to look at him, finding him staring at you with a frown on his face.
You frowned back at him. âWhatâs up with you today?â
He raised his eyebrows at you. âWhat is up with me? I donât know if youâve noticed Darl but you havenât exactly been up to par yourself.â
You rolled your eyes at his words. âThatâs not what I meant, and besides, Iâm on my period.â
Logan stared at you, arms crossed. âWhat did ya mean then?â
âYouâve been acting strange. Less talkative and annoying like usual.â
Logan snorted. âEver the lady.â
âIâm serious. Whatâs up with you?â
Logan sighed and took a step forward until he was towering over you and you had to crane your head up to look at him. âYou are whatâs up. I can constantly smell you bleeding, and I canât get it out of my mind that it means youâre hurt. Youâre driving me crazy sweetheart.â
WellâŚ. That certainly wasnât what you were expecting. Logan smirked down at you as if he knew that, and enjoyed surprising you. You cleared your throat as your eyes darted to the floor. âWell, thatâs hardly my fault.â
Logan chuckled. âNot your fault no, but it is your doing whether you mean to or not.â
You swallowed, looking back up at him. âWellâŚ. Donât you constantly smell when people are on their periods?â
âItâs different with you. Smelling your blood just drives me crazy, plain and simple. Canât get the instinct out of my head that blood means injury.â
The way Logan was admitting all of this, with such calm, made you think heâd been wanting to say this for a while. The unspoken confession was there, and it was up to you to decide what to do with it.
âIâm glad you care,â was what you landed on, unsure of what else to say.
Logan chuckled again, one hand snaking to your waist. âI do a lot more than care, Y/n.â
You smiled softly, looking up at him. With his other hand he brushed your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The sound of a door closing brought you out of your little bubble and you took a step back, Logan reluctantly letting go of your waist.
Mrs May, either not having seen you two or graciously deciding to ignore it, passed you a package, informing you the herb and all information involving it was inside, and to handle it with care. You nodded and thanked the old woman before exiting the building, Logan again right on your heels.
As soon as the shopâs door closed behind you Loganâs hand was back around your waist. âNot losing you this time.â
You tried not to smile, though internally you were grinning like a maniac, and let Logan lead the two of you back to the car. You didnât even get to argue your case of driving this time, Logan already in the driverâs seat. You sighed and got into the passenger seat, resigning yourself to another hour of silence as Logan started driving, when you felt his hand on your thigh.
You looked at him but he didnât say anything, just gave it a light squeeze as he kept his eyes on the road. You looked away, grinning. So maybe the world didnât have it out for you after all.
#wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#xmen#x-men#xmen movie#xmen movies#x men movies#marvel#hugh jackman#james logan howlett#james howlett#x men#xavier#charles xavier
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Sleep well, amour.
Parings: Alastor x reader
Summary: Youâve been very intrested in Alastor ever since you met him. He invites you to see his recording studio, which you accept. Then you ask if you can stay and listen to him host! While listening, you fall asleep. How does he react?
Word count: 2844
Warnings: Ummm not really much? Alastor being Alastor! One mention of not being able to sleep sometimes, mention of seeing people in hell doing dr*gs, k*lling eachother, and fighting, mention of reader having bad social skills (?)
part two
A/N: UM!! this is my first time writing for alastor, so apologies if it isnât the best. Please give me any feedback you want, Iâd love to hear it! Also sorry for any spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy :â)
Alastor the radio demon. You know of the things heâs done, you know that people are quite literally terrified of him. But for some reason... you feel a certain way towards him that you canât describe, but itâs surely not fear.
Youâve had a some-what odd admiration of him since you landed in hell, only a few months ago. You got spotted by Charlie when you first got to hell. She noticed you looking around nervously and lost, and put two and two together that you must be new. She very kindly introduced herself which was refreshing because.. well.. itâs hell. Everywhere you looked people were fighting, doing drugs, and even killing each other. You were glad there were kind people even down here.
âHi, you! Uh, you lost?â Charlie smiled you and waved.
âUm yeah! Iâm guessing this is hell, huh?â You awkwardly chuckle. Social skills werenât ever your thing, it seems they havenât got better after you died, either.
âYep! This is hell! You must be new? Iâm Charlie! Charlie Morningstar. Itâs so nice to meet you.â She smiled and stuck out her hand for you to shake.
âNice to meet you, Charlie! My names Y/n.â You politely smiled back and shook her hand.
After that meeting, Charlie showed you to the hotel in which you eagerly accepted to stay at, her being the only sane thing youâve seen down here. It was a pretty nice place, no 5 star hotel like back on earth, but it was something youâre very grateful for. Who knows what wouldâve happened to you if you havenât met her.
While she was showing you around, someone caught your eye. He was a tall man, very polite and respectful looking. He was dressed head to toe in old fashioned attire, with a cane to suit his charming look. He was smiling in a way that made you look at him like he was something you wanted to inspect under a magnifying glass.
He glanced at you and smiled larger, stepping over to you and Charlie.
âMy, my! What do we have here? Charlie! You didnât tell me that weâve got more guests? Itâs a pleasure to meet you, my dear! The names Alastor!â He spoke politely.
His voice was sort of.. Radio-like? You found it soothing.
âHaha yeah! I found them wandering around on the street this morning! Theyâre a newcomer, their name is Y/n.â She spoke back, excited to introduce you.
âY/n! Well, my, my. Thatâs quite a lovely name!â He said. âSay.. do you listen to radio? I host a brilliant radio broadcast thatâll give you some real insight on this place!â He said enthusiastically.
âOh.. haha thank youâ You smile. âI do actually! I love radio shows.â You immediately feel drawn towads him. You cant tell if itâs just the new scenery or what.. but you want to just sit and chat with him for hours.
Alastor perks up at that. âOh you do, do you?â He smiled more.
âYeah! Back when I was.. uhm.. alive, I actually had a whole playlist of them! What do you do your show about?â You ask.
Alastor is delighted to have you take interest in his show. âWell, dear, I do all sorts of things on there! Yes, yes, you think of it and Iâve most probably done it! Most commonly known is the souls I entrap and prison, as I broadcast their screams of horror all over this horrible place and people get to hear the noises of their never-ending torture and demise. But! I also just made a wonderful segment on my motherâs Jambalaya recipe!â He stated.
While part of those sentences gave you chills, you still seemed to take interest in him.
âWell,â you chuckle. âI will certainly check it out!â You smile.
âAh! Wonderful news, my dear.â He said while he twirled his cane.
Charlie was watching you interact with him and noticed how you looked at him, as if admiring. She smile and said, âwell! We better finish the tour.â
She motions for you to follow her and you do, waving Alastor goodbye.
He waves back and yells, âgoodbye, sweetheart! Lovely to have met you.â
After that, you wanted absolutely everything to do with him. Youâve also got to know the other people staying at the hotel. Angel, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. They were overall kind people. Husk found your interest in Alastor to be no good.
âYeah, no. That, whatever thing you have created in your mind about him, isnât true. Heâs vile, Y/n. Trust me on that.â He grunts.
Angel thought you had some kind of kink towards âscary, creepy men.â Which wasnât true because you didnât even find him scary. You found him charming.
âAh.. Alastor? Fucking sexy weirdo if I do say so myself. Heâs got some reaaal problems but hey, if youâre into that-â You cut him off by saying it wasnât like that & that you donât think anything sexual towards him.
One day, you were talking to Sir Pentious about his âcrushâ on Cherry Bomb. He completely denied it but you could tell from his blush and his nervous demeanour that he was very interested in her.
You were caught off guard when you heard that radio voice coming up from behind you.
âY/n, my dear! I have a question for you.â Alastor came and stood beside you, looking down from where youâre sitting.
âAl! Hey, whatâs up?â You ask, containing your excitement.
Sir Pentious excused himself quickly, seeing one of his âegg boysâ were being played with by Niffty. She isnât one to be gentle.
âSo, I know how youâve been listening to my radio show as of late, and I was wondering if youâd like to see where the magic happens!â He states.
âR-really? Iâd be honoured!â You say, smiling.
âAh! Lovely. Come now, this way.â
You get up and he locks arms with you and chats about his new microphone that he got.
Once you guys arrive, youâre shocked. It looks very professional and comfortable. It suits him heavily. Thereâs a big open window, a desk, some chairs and sofas, a bunch of technical stuff on the desk along with his new mic that you recognize from his descriptions, and a deer coat hanger?
âWow, Alastor. This place is so actually so sick. I love it. And the new microphone suits you!â You say. âThank you for showing me, really.â
Typically, Alastor would never show someone something personal of his, including his studio, but you are an exception. He isnât sure what it is about you but he doesnât seem to hate you as much as he does with anyone else. At first he was weirded out, but now he just embraces it. He also feels protective of you. He doesnât know exactly why youâre even down here. For as far is he can tell, youâre an angel. Always being kind even to those who arenât kind to you, always saying âpleaseâ and âthank you,â all that jazz. Jazz! You even like jazz music, his favourite. He told you that he lived on earth the time jazz music was popular. The 20âs and 30âs. That explains his vocabulary and how he dresses. You just find it more interesting and take time to ask questions about what it was like in that time.
âWhy of course, my dear! If Iâd want to show anyone here, it would be you.â He says, giving you his iconic smile.
You have a thought. âHey, Al? Would it be alright if the next time you do a show, I could stay and listen?â
You hope he doesnât think this is odd.
Alastor raises a brow. âWhy would you want to do that?â He asks.
You panic, thinking you went too far by asking and now heâs going to cut you off or something.
âHa! Kidding, sweetheart! Of course you can. I love when my broadcast is wanted to be listened to. Though I love it as well when they donât want to.â He says.
Youâre relieved, a bit scared, but still relieved.
âSay!â He says. âI was going to make one tonight talking about this silly technology box that thinks he is better than me! You know, expose all his lies and secrets to my listeners, and unwilling listeners. Maybe broadcast it all throughout hell!â He starts laughing manically. Then calms down and stares at you.
âWould you want to stay and listen, hm? I can do it now! I didnât have any plans today going forward and well, getting it out sooner is better than later, I always say.â He asks.
You know heâs talking about Vox when he mentioned the technology box. Him and Vox have a sort of rivalry going on. Though Alastor seems to not care much about him, Vox is sure obsessed. Heâs even gone so far as to making posters about him. Which areee.. not much of a resemblance.
This offer strikes you and you immediately perk up. âYes! Iâd love to.â You say.
You donât think Alastor knows this but whenever youâre struggling to sleep, you put on his radio show and his voice comforts you to sleep. Youâre sure if you told him, he would find it weird.
Little did you know, Alastor already knew. He walked past your room one night and heard static sounds coming from your quarters. He immediately was intrigued and put his ear close to your door to hear his voice. He was surprised, but not weirded out. He found it delightful that you found comfort in his voice. Itâs not everyday someone does. Usually it invokes terror and anxiety on anyone who hears. This was new, and he didnât hate it.
âLovely! Let me get all set up. You can sit wherever you feel the most comfortable!â He says, adjusting his mic and pressing a buttons on his table.
You find a spot and sit down. Feeling honored to even be in the same room as him, let alone HIS room.
âAhem! Welcome ladies and gentlemen-â He goes off into his introduction, before winking at you and starting.
After about 20 minutes, you begin to feel tired and put your head on the side of the wall, still listening but with your eyes closed.
Alastor immediately notices and smirks, knowing how his voice effects you. He continues on and after about another 20 minutes, he finishes up. Youâre asleep, slightly smiling.
He walks over to you and looks down.
âMy, my. You really are an interesting one, arenât you?â He whispers. He smiles more softly than he usually does and looks around to find a purple blanket hanging on his deer coat hanger, and gently places it on you.
He feels his heart fluttering while looking down at you and he immediately shrugs it off.
âMm well, my dear.. I guess you can stay here. Iâll just be over there, transferring my broadcast to the other radios around town.â He says and points to his table.
âSleep well, amour.â He speaks softly.
#:alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon x reader#the radio demon x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader hazbin hotel#hes so pookie bear guys UGUHG#i love him sm#my works#alastor imagine#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor x you
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Something that has really bugged me about season two is Jinx's hallucinations and PTSD. It magically disappears when Silco dies, save for two scenes. I remember when people on reddit were literally making jokes about the writers going this route because it would be so stupid.
One of the things I loved about season one was the realistic depictions of mental illness that you just don't see often in media. I don't know what it is like to experience schizophrenia, but I have experienced PTSD and paranoia, and seeing how it was represented in Arcane was actually one of the things that helped me through it.
And then season 2 comes around and they just completely neglect this side of Jinx.
PTSD isn't a switch that can magically be flipped off. Recovery is a slow and gradual process. In absolutely no world would Jinx killing yet another family member cure her of her conditions, it would make them 10 times worse. Not to mention just before killing him she has an extremely severe psychotic episode, which would only make forgetting her trauma even more difficult since it was just brought up fresh in her mind.
And what even about the end of s1 was it that healed her? I genuinely have no idea, because she finally chooses Jinx only to once again go back and forth between Jinx and Powder in season two, because apparently all that buildup for her final decision was for nothing.
She does experience two hallucinations (I'm not going to count the jail silco thing in act three because what even was that?) when she sees enforcer Vi and when Sevika talks about the attack at Vander's statue, but suddenly that is all that triggers her?
In season one, just seeing Vi, or even someone who looks like Vi triggers her. But now when Vi is literally trying to capture and possibly kill her she is fine, it's only the mask that bothers her? Wasn't that her worst fear, that Silco and Sevika were right, that Vi only wanted to stop her? And she is constantly triggered by Cait in season 1 but not 2?
And then there was the insulting ending, where jail Silco tells Jinx to 'break the cycle' (something he would absolutely never do) and Jinx finally finds redemption by realizing she is purely a burden and her family would be better off believing she is dead. So she literally kills herself after Isha kills herself in what is framed as an act of heroism (and if Jinx actually didnt, than what even was the point of that scene, besides a cheap fake out?) What happened to Ekko trying to stop Jinx from doing that? What happened to Silco having Singed revive her to save her life after she attempts to take it? Or Jayce and Viktor talking each other out of it? Or Silco choosing to keep fighting rather than give in to the "peace in water"?
On purpose or not season 2 frames suicide as a glorious, edgy, perhaps even necessary thing and it's disgusting.
#arcane#arcane critical#arcane season 2#arcane season two#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#jinx's hallucinations#mental illness#mental illness in media#ptsd#psychosis#paranoia#shizophrenia#silco#vi#caitlyn kiramman#bad depictions of mental illness
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đđđđ - đđđđ đđđđđđ
choi soobin x afab!reader
summary: After you found out the smarty-pants in your class was in love with you you thought it would be fun to play around with him a bit, but things take a wrong turn when he is the only one you can text when you are horny and he doesn't hesitate and runs to you, making you feel better than any of your ex boyfriends could.
words count: 3.9k
warnings: smut content, she/her pronouns used twice (in the texting part) sorry đ, oral, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex (don't!!), cum eating, gentle sex, squiting, idk tbh
You glanced to your side, watching the black-haired boy on the other side of the classroom as he wrote down some notes. If you were to be honest, you werenât paying any attention to what the teacher was saying, so you had no idea what he was writing down either. But it didn't matter anyway, you knew he would let you copy his notes later.Â
It was one of the perks of having the classâs smarty-pants be in love with you. You chuckled when you saw him look your way too, smiling at him before you turned away again.Â
âWhat's going on there?â The black-haired girl next to you asked, her eyebrow raised as she pointed at the male on the other side of the class. âWhy do you two keep stealing glances at each other?âÂ
âYou know Yeonjun, right?â You asked, watching as the girl next to you nodded. âWho doesn't,â your best friend scoffed. âWhat does he have to do with anything?âÂ
âWell, he is the one that told me last week our little nerdy here has a crush on me. It all makes sense now if you think about it. I couldn't wrap my head around why he would always send me the lesson notes when I asked for them but not to others. I told Ryan he could ask Soob because I thought he wouldn't have any problems with it, but it turns out he only sent them to me to get me to like him, or something,â You explained, watching as your best friend laughed quietly.Â
âIt's kind of cute though that he does that.âÂ
âBut I don't want âcuteâ anymore,â you rolled your eyes. âI want someone who can actually make me cum and not just stare at me questioning why I wouldn't finish as if he even tried.âÂ
âOkay, I know the last boy was a fail as fuck, literally, but who knows,â the black-haired girl shrugged. âYou want to tell me you think he of all people could make me cum?â You scoffed. âPlease, he probably hasn't fucked a girl in his life.âÂ
You said that, but God, you had no idea what was coming your way.Â
âWho are we gossiping about?â You turned as you heard the maleâs voice, scoffing at how needy he was for the tea. âNo one,â you shook your head. âYour rival,â your best friend grinned, answering instead when you didnât do so. The blond boy scoffed, looking at the black-haired boy. âOh yeah, I am so sure he didnât fuck a girl - or anyone else - in his life,â he agreed.Â
âI am pretty sure Iâve been with a girl more times than he has,â Ryan next to him nodded, joining their conversation. âKinda crazy,â you commented, laughing. Before you could say anything else, you were stopped by the teacher hitting the board with his hand, making you look his way. âAs I was saying,â he started his speech again, giving you a warning look before he turned around, facing the board again so he could write down a few things.Â
Your head fell on the table soon after out of boredom, and before you could even start paying attention to what the teacher was talking about, the bell rang, announcing the end of the lesson.Â
âOkay, guys, who is coming with me to grab lunch?â Your best friend turned towards you and the two boys behind you. âI am passing,â you mumbled immediately, not even fully sitting up and simply turning your head towards her. âI am going,â Ryan proclaimed, already standing up from his place, the blond following him right after.Â
âOkay, I see you guys later, then,â you smiled at them, waving them off as they left the classroom. You knew you should get up too and move to your next class, but you were starting to feel unwell, and the thought of getting up sounded terrible. You sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds. You knew this classroom was empty for another hour or so anyway.Â
âHey, are you alright?â You opened your eyes again upon hearing the soft voice and feeling the tap on your shoulder, blinking a few times to make your eyes focus again. âMhm, sure I am,â you mumbled, sitting up straight as you looked around. The class was empty by now, only the two of you were left there. âWhy? Were you worried about me?â You chuckled, teasing him. Suddenly, it was as if your headache completely disappeared when you saw the nervous look on his face. âRelax, I am joking,â you shook your head, but couldnât hide your smile.Â
âI donât want to annoy you,â you started, slowly packing your stuff as he stood beside you, waiting like a puppy. âBut do you think you could give me todayâs notes, Soob?âÂ
âYou-â he gulped, trying to ignore the nickname. There was simply something about you calling him Soob. âI donât want it for free though. You could consider it as me owing you one and helping you when youâd need it?â You suggested as you stood up, grabbing your now packed bag. âUhm, sure,â he nodded, not even paying full attention to what you were saying.Â
âIâll text you tonight about the notes then,â you beamed happily, looking like a completely different person as you placed your hand on his arm as a sign of thank you. You were devastated minutes ago, but whoever would see you now wouldnât believe him if he told them so. Soobin wasnât sure why, but he was glad you looked fine again.Â
Soobin threw his bag on the side of his room, jumping into his bed immediately after the long day. He laid down on his back, simply staring at the ceiling of his room. He reached into his pocket for his phone, seeing two unread messages from his best friend. He opened his phone, staring at the two texts. âLook at Instagramâ âThank me laterâ There wasnât much for him to question. Even though to many it might seem confusing, he knew exactly whose Instagram he should check. There was only one person that the two of them talked about together after all.Â
The black-haired male clicked on the icon, waiting for the story to load for a second. Then his eyes widened at the sight. It was a picture of you, but not just any picture. He sat up immediately, looking properly at your body. You were wearing a white top, cropped slightly above your waist. He couldnât help but notice you weren't wearing a bra underneath, your nipples showing through the fabric. Then he saw the black miniskirt, that you definitely pulled higher than you should. He gulped, remembering how you touched his arm earlier today, your fingers brushing on his skin as your hair fell in front of your face.Â
He whined silently as he felt his boxers becoming tighter the more he stared at the picture, your body curves exposed for anyone to see. He shared the story with Yeonjun, his best friend, and immediately texted him how good you looked.Â
Only, did he not know it wasnât Yeonjun he shared the story to. Â
Soobin stared at the messages, screaming as he turned his phone off faster than ever before. He couldnât believe it. He just told you he needed you. There wasnât anything worse that could be happening at the moment. Not to mention the image of your body was still stuck in his head, making him hard.Â
He stared at the messages again, his heart fighting with his brain at that moment. He didnât want to make you do anything, he felt like it would be too forced, even though you were the one suggesting it. But a part of him knew this was his only chance. There was no way he could get you differently. He knew about your dating history, so he also knew you had never been with anyone like him. It was always the boys like Yeonjun, who just understood how to talk to girls properly, how to make them fall for them. But he wasnât like that, he had no idea what he was doing.Â
And just like that, he was in front of your place, rethinking his decisions as he knocked on the front door, trying his best to ignore the boner in his pants that still hadnât gone down. How could it be when you shared a picture like that with him?
âYou came,â you mumbled as you opened the door, looking up at him. Soobin looked down on you, noticing the same top you had in the Instagram picture. He gulped, his eyes then falling on the bottom part of your body and the white panties that were the only thing you were wearing. âHow could I not?â He whispered, making sure this picture would stay in his mind.Â
You grabbed his hand as you took him inside, closing the door behind you immediately. It was only now that you noticed how big his hands were against yours. You just hoped he could use them too.Â
Soobin blindly followed you to your bedroom, his mind full of thoughts about how he should go about this, while his eyes were stuck on your ass, unable to look away as you walked in front of him.Â
âCan I-â he started as his eyes followed you while you sat on your bed. âYou can do absolutely anything, Soob,â you interrupted him, watching as his face turned red. âSoob? Soobie?â You smirked, noticing what the nicknames did to him. âIs that what turns you on?âÂ
âEverything about you turns me on,â he admitted, slowly getting closer to you while you moved back, not taking your eyes off him. You didnât say anything, you couldnât. You simply bit your bottom lip as you found him above yourself, holding eye contact. This was becoming more intimate than you thought it would.Â
âIs it okay for me to kiss you?â He wanted to assure himself one more time. You thought about it for a second, not wanting to give him any hope, but also desperately needing his lips on yours. You nodded to him in the end, grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing him closer to yourself, pressing your lips on his, your mouth slightly opened which only made it easier for him.Â
His right hand found its way to your boob, carefully sliding under your top, his cold fingers brushing over your nipple. You groaned into the kiss, clenching around nothing but thin air. It felt pathetic. He had barely touched you and you were already getting wet.Â
Soobin left your mouth for a second, getting a disagreeing whine immediately that made him smile as he started placing wet kisses all over your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone and then between your boobs. Your lips parted as you breathed out from the pleasure, raising your head to look at him. âMhm, take it off,â you whispered, your hand reaching for his sleeve. He didnât hesitate for a second and listened to you, taking his shirt off while you took down your own, exposing your breast to him completely.Â
âFuck,â he groaned at the sight, feeling more and more uncomfortable in his sweatpants. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking at your body one more time before his lips found their way to your breast again, his hand cupping one of them as he pressed kisses on your other boob, his tongue making wet circles around your nipple.Â
âFuck,â it was you groaning this time, quiet moans escaping your lips as your nipples became hard at his touch. âSoob, please,â you whined, throwing your head back into the pillow. âPlease, what? Hm?â He asked, not even looking up and just continuing what he had been doing until now, his lips moving down again, leaving wet traces on your stomach now as his hands found their way to your waist. âI donât know. Just- fuck,â you moaned out again when you felt his lips on your clit through your panties.Â
âJust?â He asked again, looking up at you. You could swear you had never seen anything better in your life. The male was in between your legs, his breath landing right on your clit as he looked at you, absolute need in his eyes.Â
âJust fuck me already,â you begged, watching as he took down your panties, his eyes fixated on your already leaking pussy. âI donât think so,â he informed you, moving up again so he would face you. âI doubt you could take it just like that,â he whispered, moving his fingers to your lips. You didnât need to hear anything else and immediately opened your mouth, sucking on his fingers.Â
Before you could even register his actions you felt him slowly inserting his two fingers into you, carefully watching you. He did so to make sure he was doing everything right. You weren't completely wrong when you said he probably hasnât been with a girl in his life. He couldnât say he would have much experience, but all of his friends were sex addicts - and now he could finally see why - and they couldnât keep their mouths shut every time the topic came up, so it was only natural for Soobin to catch on to a few things.Â
You gasped, your eyes rolling back. You knew there was an obvious difference in your hand sizes but god, his fingers were bigger than you thought. âFuck, curl them now,â you commanded, not daring to look down. He did as you said, feeling his precum on his boxers. He wanted nothing more but to fuck you right then and there, but he knew he had to wait.Â
It didnât take much longer for you to squirt on his fingers, especially after he added pressure to your clit too, his thumb making slow circles around while his fingers were stretching your inside.Â
âCan I eat you out, please?â He asked, looking up at you again, his thumb still rubbing your clit slowly. âPlease, y/n,â he begged, making you go crazy. You weren't sure if it was the way he begged you, the way he said your name, or because of his breath on your skin, but you couldnât say no to him even if you wanted to. âGod, please do,â you whined out and just like that, his tongue was pressed on your pussy right away, not wasting any second of the time he had with you.Â
It had been months since you had cummed thanks to a boy, so you didnât have any expectations for him when you invited him over. But you were wrong when you thought no boys knew how to take care of their girls anymore because he did exactly what he should, making you cum on his tongue a few minutes after he went down on you, not leaving your trembling cunt even then, letting you ride out your orgasm as his nose was pressed on your clit, his tongue carefully licking every last bit of your cum.Â
âSoob,â you groaned, pulling his hair, making him finally raise his head and look at you. âFuck, youâre so pretty,â he mumbled, going up again to kiss you. âAnd delicious,â he informed you, pressing his lips on yours. âFuck, Soob, youâre too good,â you mumbled before you kissed him again, slowly sitting up. âCome closer,â you said, grabbing the hem of his pants, and pulling him closer at the same time.Â
He groaned, his eyes shut tight, his lips unable to stay away from yours. You smirked into the kiss, your hand grabbing his trembling cock over his pants, making him moan. âI donât usually do this butâŚâ you started, breaking your kiss so you could look at his body properly. âYou were so good earlier,â you praised him, not breaking your eye contact as you changed your position so you would be kneeling. âPants off, baby,âÂ
That alone was enough to make him go crazy. You calling him baby just did something with his head. And with his dick.Â
âFuck,â You breathed out when you finally pulled down Soobinâs pants and boxers, your pussy clenching around nothing again. You knew he would be bigger because of his height, but this was more than you had expected.Â
He cupped your cheeks, making you look up at him. âAre you sure?â You chuckled, simply nodding. âI can take good care of you too, you know,â you proclaimed, looking up at him as your right hand wrapped around his cock, not breaking your eye contact. You knew it must have been making him go insane.Â
You started slowly, simply kissing his tip and licking off his precum. Then, you decided to try to take his full length into your mouth, but stopped shortly after getting to his half, already feeling like you were going to gag any second. There was no way you could do this.Â
However, Soobin saw it differently. To him, it looked like you were playing with him, moving slowly and carefully on purpose to tease him. His hand found its way to your head, carefully tugging the hair that was getting in front of your face behind your ears before he held your chin up, making you look at him, his dick still in your mouth. âThink you can go faster, pretty? Please,â He asked, hoping maybe begging would help him.Â
He groaned when he felt you suck harder, trying to go faster too but failing miserably. He chuckled at the sight, his hand in your hair so he could control the speed himself. âIf you want to stop, just punch me, or something, okay? Try not to bite my dick off if you canât take it anymore, though,â he told you, and before you could even look up at him again and question what he was talking about, he was moving with your head on his own as if you were just a toy to fulfill his needs. If you were honest, you were glad he did so. It was turning you on more.Â
âFuck, just a bit more,â he moaned out, thrusting his hips into your mouth as you sucked on him. He didnât dare to look at you just yet, he felt like he would stop if he saw you in the moment, scared he might have been hurting you by determining his speed.Â
When Soobin finally looked at you there were tears in your eyes, and his cum was all over your mouth. He cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumbs. âSorry,â he mumbled. You looked up at him, high on all the pleasure you felt until now thanks to him. God, you knew you needed to do this more often from now on. You licked the corner of your mouth, making sure not a single drop was wasted.Â
âYouâre not done yet, are you?â You asked, your puppy eyes almost making him cum again right away. âFuck, no I am not,â he answered, leaning down to you to kiss you again.Â
Soon after, Soobin found himself sitting on the edge of your bed, his back pressed against the white walls while you sat on him, your head on his shoulder, biting into his skin so you wouldnât get too loud as he fucked you. Holding your ass, he was helping you remain at the same speed, moaning along with you. âSo close, Soob,â you cried out. âHold in a bit more,â he whispered, closing his eyes as he felt himself getting closer to finishing again, too.Â
âFuck,â you breathed out, a mixture of your own and Soobinâs cum leaking from your pussy. You raised your head slowly, your cheeks completely red as you looked into his eyes, still sitting on his cock. âSoob, this was the best sex Iâve ever had. God, you were so good.â He bit onto his bottom lip, watching your fucked out face. âOh, yeah?â He asked, even more embarrassed than you were. âDoes that mean youâll let me fuck you again next time?âÂ
âSoobâŚâ you mumbled, just watching him for a second before you carefully got off him. He just shook his head before you could say anything else. âI know, I know, donât worry,â he muttered. âI still needed to try it,â he smiled awkwardly, his dimples being the cutest thing you had ever seen. âLet me help you clean yourself up before I leave. It's the least I can do,â He suggested. You nodded to him, convinced this was the last time you were together like this. You couldn't be more wrong though.Â
You knew you couldnât stay away from him for too long when he helped you to get into your bathroom and his fingers found their way to your clit again, making you melt at his touch. Even worse was when he carried you to your bed after he switched your bedsheet for you, asking you to let him eat you out one more time before he would leave you alone for good.Â
You just couldnât let him get away.Â
âFuck, Soob,â you mumbled, sitting on the edge of your bed, watching him kneeling in front of you, begging to feel your cum on his tongue again. âYouâre going to be the death of me, arenât you?â His innocent eyes looked up at you, his hands rubbing your thighs. You sighed, âJust stay here.âÂ
You could swear you saw sparks in his eyes as the words left your mouth. âReally? Can I?âÂ
You nodded, agreeing. âSleep here tonight, Iâll let you eat me out again next time.âÂ
Soobin smiled proudly, his hands squeezing your thighs. âOnly next time?âÂ
âGod, just come here,â you proclaimed, pulling him up from the floor into a warm kiss, feeling his hands roaming on your body again. The night was still nowhere to be done.
#choi soobin#soobin#tomorrow x together#choi yeonjun#yeonjun#txt#txt soobin#smut#soobin smut#txt x reader#soobin x reader#soobin x you#soobin x y/n#txt smut#tomorrow x together smut#izzy stuff#soobin tomorrow x together#soobin txt#soobin hard thoughts#kang taehyun#taehyun#hueningkai#beomgyu#choi beomgyu#izzy writes âśâ.Ë
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barbie girl.
if life is plastic (and therefore, nonbiodegradable), then itâs so not fantastic. honestly, who came up with that? regina george really shouldâve googled about the new plastics economy.
or alternatively, pretty girls rule the world, and you find out that heâs (not) all that.
pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: comedy, fluff, angst ⎠makeover + college au word count :: 24,618 words warnings :: body issues, body image, weight mentions, insecurities, beauty is a social construct, [spoiler] did something bad, people being literal scum, so much gaslighting that you can start a wildfire and j*ke gyll*nh*al should take notes, âif a man talks shit then i owe him nothingâ playlist :: pretty boys (romi) â you canât sit with us (sunmi) â i just wanna know (katherine li) â lie to girls (sabrina carpenter) â look what you made me do (taylor swift) â leftover feelings (regina song) â number one girl (rosĂŠ) + extended playlist here. authorâs note :: sheâs all that is one of my most favorite rom coms ever, but iâve always been ///: at the whole makeover idea and decided to write my own version !! the idols mentioned in this fic are just characters, and how i portray them in this fic do not reflect how i actually view them or their irl personas. as always, much love to miss lana and miss moon for being my biggest cheerleaders ἍᥠⳠpart of the đŻđ˘đđ˛đąđđąđŚđŹđŤ collaboration series.
i. hiya, barbie! hi, ken!
Na Jaemin does not know that you exist.
Good looking, charismatic, and popular â itâs his world, and youâre just living in it. Or something like that. Youâre decently smart, somewhat funny, and not pretty enough to stand out, but not exactly hideous according to societal standards (source: those beauty quizzes in Seventeen magazine that you used to be obsessed with when you were thirteen and in desperate need of flirting tips). If he was the main lead, youâd probably be Extra #6, maybe Extra #2 on a good day.
By your calculations, the two of you should never cross paths, like two parallel lines. Wait, scratch that, you would probably never be aligned with anything that has to do with this guy. You saw him standing outside of the door of your shared accounting classroom during your fall semester, and he spent twenty five minutes editing his picture for Instagram and ended up late for the lecture. And he probably already spent even more time selecting the final photo to edit before you arrived to class and noticed him. Absolute idiot. Absolute handsome idiot, but idiot nonetheless. A grade A himbo with a grade C in financial accounting.Â
Okay, so scrap the parallel lines theory, maybe skew lines are a better way of explaining it. Yeah, that seems about right, the two of you are from completely different dimensions, never meant to interact or run parallel with each other. And once again, by this logic, your paths should never cross.
âY/N!â
You stand corrected.
Na Jaemin does know that you exist.
You suddenly remember that there was that one small group presentation in that very same aforementioned accounting class, and you were assigned to the same group as Jaemin. Armed with this rediscovered memory, you are going to revise your earlier response and say that the correct descriptor for your relationship is perpendicular lines. That sounds right. Final answer. Youâre locking it in.
Your paths should have only intersected once, the two of you should be going in different directions, and even though youâre in another class with him again for spring semester this year (since all freshmen with a business major has to take the same Gen. Ed. classes), not once have the two of you had a proper conversation with each other (He asked you to pass a note one time, but that barely counts). Jaemin should have forgotten you by now, and you should be continuing on with your side character life that youâre very much content with.
So then why on earth is he shouting your name like youâre old friends and causing what feels like every person within a one mile radius to stare at you?
Heâs unknowingly giving you your main character moment, and you very quickly realize that you do not feel like the Y/N in any one of those Gojo fanfics you read religiously at three in the morning when you should really be studying or sleeping.
Instead, you feel like a bug watching its impending doom as a Doc Marten boot starts to descend at an alarming speed and you canât even try to scuttle out of the way to avoid it. Frozen in your spot, you can only watch as your universityâs it boy skids to a stop in front of you after running across the grass and flashing you his million dollar smile. âHey, Y/N, right? We have ECON 13 together.â
Starstruck, your mind to mouth filter is completely shot, and all you manage to let out is a very uncool âUh huh.â
He laughs a little breathlessly, and you feel like all the oxygen has been knocked out of your lungs, too. Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, Jaemin tilts his head to the side slightly, the sunlight catching his profile perfectly, and your breath hitches in your throat once more.
âI know this is gonna sound really, uh, forward since we barely know each other and all, butââ
Youâre barely listening to him, your heart pounding in your chest and the blood rushing to your ears. Itâs pretty embarrassing to see how a mere stranger with a pretty face can affect you this much. You really thought you had a much stronger willpower than this, but itâs so goddamn unfair how this boy standing in front of you has the most perfectly sculpted face youâve ever seen. Plus, his eyelashes? Why the hell do boys always get the prettiest, thickest, and darkest lashes?Â
Meanwhile, youâre out here struggling to force your perpetually straight, stubby lashes into a curl that ends up lasting only a couple hours, even when you use waterproof mascara. You still end up with flat lashes and you have to feverishly scrub your eyes to remove the blasted makeup and lose a few cherished lashes in the process.
ââwith me?â Jaemin finishes, and you belatedly realize that you did not catch a single word that he said, too caught up in your inner monologue and too busy ogling. However, your heart flutters in your chest when you catch the last part of his question. Not to be too presumptuous, but it sounds like heâs asking you out. Why else would anyone randomly stop you like this and talk to you for this long? Youâre positively giddy at this revelation. This is your moment, the one youâve been waiting for your whole life, like Rapunzel waiting in her tower for the one to come and save her from her horribly mundane, repetitive life.
âOh! Um⌠yes?â Itâs a 50/50 chance between yes or no, and you hope thatâs the correct answer heâs looking for.Â
Jaeminâs face immediately brightens, and he turns his smile up another kilowatt, nearly blinding you. You grin back at him, squinting a little. This must be how Icarus felt when he flew towards the sun.Â
âOh shit, really? Youâre really agreeing to tutor me? Hyuckâyou know, our classâs peer TAâsaid I was a hopeless cause, and I would need way more one on one lessons outside of his hours and all that if I wanted to pass. And yeah, I know I could probably bitch at him until he caves since weâre kind of friends, but he would also hold this over my head, but he said you had the highest score on last weekâs practice midterm, so I thought, âhey, why not shoot my shot?ââ He directs another smile your way, pausing for a quick breath. Your mind is racing a mile a minute, and his smile isnât helping whatsoever as your heart decides to join in this race as well until it sinks when you finally process his words.
âWait, Donghyuck said that about me?â you manage to get out, a little dazed, and Jaemin confirms before eagerly continuing on with his chatter, but all you can do is stupidly nod as the word âTUTORâ spins around and around in your mind in bold, italicized, underlined mocking red letters in Times New Roman font, size 12, double spaced, MLA format, the whole shebang.
Of course, he only wants a tutor. What made you think that a boy like him would look twice at a girl like you? The only other time a guy has ever expressed interest in you is to share homework answers for Calculus back in 10th grade (For the record, all of his answers were completely wrong, but Sungchan was a cute distraction. Actually, the two of you became very good friends once you very quickly got over the fact that you were firmly placed in the friendzone. Heâs even dating one of your best friends now).
âAnyways, can I have your number? I can text you to match our schedules and figure out the times to meet up for the next couple of weeks before our next midterm.â You remain wide eyed, gazing at him like a deer caught in the headlights and still attempting to fully understand everything that has just happened.
Jaemin looks at you expectantly, his hand outstretched towards you with his phone tucked between his fingers. The device dangles there for an additional ten seconds that probably isnât socially acceptable. Grab the phone, you scream at yourself silently, but your body doesnât seem to want to cooperate. You blink slowly once. Then twice.
âOr, I can just⌠uh, type in your number if you tell me,â Jaemin says awkwardly, his smile wilting slightly as he shifts from one foot to the other under your unwavering gaze and slowly retracting his hand. Finally, you come to your senses as you quickly spring into action and snatch the phone from him, tapping in your digits and adding in your name and shared class before saving your contact.
âHere,â you mutter, returning his phone, and he gives you a relieved grin. You clutch onto the strap of your backpack a little tighter, cursing the way your heart skips a beat. âI should be free most weekday afternoons since I prefer to take all morning classes, but let me know when youâre free and we can work something out.â
âAwesome! Thank you so much, Y/N, youâre a life saver.â Jaemin beams at you, touching your shoulder briefly and you feel that very same place on your body erupt in flames as your face heats up in a similar manner. âIâll text you tonight, yeah?â
You can only numbly nod, subconsciously raising your hand and waving at him, and Jaemin chuckles, flashing his pearly whites at you again, before he saunters off and blends into a group of other equally pretty and popular students, a few of whom look over at you with vague interest before turning their attention back to the boy who just joined them.
What have you gotten yourself into?
ii. you want to go for a ride?
âIâm getting sus vibes from him.â
Flicking her long dark hair over her shoulder, Lana takes a long sip of her wintermelon milk tea with honey pearls, a spitting image of that one infamous Starbucks meme of your schoolâs alumni, Hyungwon (His picture can still be found floating through discord chats, and youâre ninety percent sure your school used it in one of their recruitment brochures at one point). Sheâs sprawled out on the beanbag in the corner of your shared apartmentâs living room, her HP laptop covered in sailor moon stickers balanced across her thighs (She swears HP is the best laptop brand, but you donât trust electronics advice from anyone who canât even use a toaster properly).
âHave you even spoken to Jaemin? How exactly are you getting sus vibes from him?â Moon jumps in, glancing over the top of her MacBook as she takes a quick break from her latest coding project regarding polynomials, matrices, and a bunch of other math terminology you rather not think about. You left all that arithmetic jargon back in high school after you got a 5 on both AP calculus exams and got to skip all required math classes for your accounting major (Sungchan wasnât so lucky).
âHeâs a fratboy finance major.â Lana rolls her eyes.
âPoint taken, but werenât you into that senior, Jaehyun? Heâs one of them. You called him your soulmate,â you interject, and she splutters for a few seconds before putting her hand up in protest.
âListen, I was going through a perpetual mental breakdown at the beginning of this semester. It doesnât count. You try being a pharmacy major. Thank god I switched out to English. My mental state was compromised, and I wasnât thinking straight.â
âWhat do you mean not thinking straight? Lana, you literally chose the straightest, most heterosexual man out there.â Moon jibes, closing her laptop now with an air of conceding defeat. You have to give her props for trying to work on some assignments, but you already knew no one was going to get any work done tonight. Itâs a Thursday night anyway, which means you have until Tuesday to get all the homework assigned today done. You can always work on them on Monday night and inevitably curse yourself for not getting it done earlier when you end up pulling an all nighter and show up to your 8 a.m. international marketing tactics class with raccoon eyes.Â
âThis is bullying, and we are on an anti-bullying campus,â Lana complains, giving the two of you the stink eye before leaning over and lightly shoving the snoozing boy sprawled across the floor next to her. âWake up, Yang. Moon and Y/N gang up on me when youâre not awake to absorb all our gentle bullying.â
The boy in question sits upright, bleary eyes and the drying ink from his notes now decorating his cheek, a lasting reminder of the makeshift pillow for his impromptu nap. Yawning, he stretches his arms, rubbing his face and making an even bigger mess of smears. âWhatâd I miss?â
âWe were just discussing Lanaâs tragic crush on Jaehyun last year,â you say, and she makes a strangled noise next to you. âWere you up late sewing again?â
âYes,â Yangyang grumbles, âYou would think Kaneki would be so easy to cosplay since he wears all black, but the mask is taking forever to make.â
âCanât one of your sugar daddies buy one for you?â
âWhat sugar daddies? If I had one, I wouldnât be stuck in here trying to balance equations,â he moans, crumpling up another sheet filled up with scribbles and his latest attempts at answering the second to last problem for organic chemistry.
âMy bad, I thought you would have some from your cosplay account.â Moon shrugs, rummaging through her large soccer mom purse for a snack and triumphantly pulling out a box of green tea Hello Pandas. âYou have like 100k followers on there.â
âMy audience demographic is weebs.â Yangyang deadpans. âHow many weebs do you know who are rich enough to send five thousand dollars every week to a struggling college student?â
âWait, weâre going off topic right now. What do you know about Jaemin, Yang?â Lana cuts in, and Moon nods in agreement (You try not to look too interested, but fail miserably, no doubt).
âJaemin Na? Iâve never talked to him personally, but thereâs always stories about him and his friends. Jeno is on the baseball team and notorious for his body count. Heâs the one that takes up like 30% of our universityâs anonymous confessions Twitter account. This is his insta, but heâs not really active on social media.â Yangyang passes his phone around for the three of you to see Jenoâs Instagram. Thereâs a whopping total of fourteen posts, and every picture of him with someone of the opposite sex features a different girl. Instant red flag.
âLia is pretty big on Tik Tok,â Yangyang continues, grabbing his phone to pull up her account to show all of you. âSheâs pretty and is actually really good at singing, but she's basically trying to be the next Addison Rae. Jimin models, and sheâs going by Karina nowadays. I heard she tried to trademark that name or something. She posts dancing Tik Toks. She and Yeonjun collab a lot. He walks for New York fashion week and has a Tik Tok for dancing, too. Iâm like 70% sure theyâre only dating to boost their views. Somi is the most popular one out of them. Sheâs the blonde one. Sheâs pretty talented and I heard she signed onto the same company as the Blackpink House. Sheâs even done a makeup video with Vogue recently.â
âAnd Jaemin has a pretty large social following. He takes decent pictures, and thatâs what he insists his insta is for, but letâs be real, the majority of his followers are there for his face. You should see his TikTok. He literally just recorded himself looking at the camera and put some generic caption, and he racked up like seven hundred thousand likes,â Yangyang grumbles, pulling up his account to show you all the video in question. âLike literally, what the hell is this? I have to put in so many hours making my outfits and editing my videos and all he does is smile and paste âDonât have a valentine again⌠hope this will change soonâ on top, and the preteens are foaming at the mouth.â
âWow, jumpscare warning next time you show me him please.â Lana wrinkles her nose at the repeating offensive clip. Yangyang merely shoves his phone even closer to her in response, and she flips him off.
âHey, youâre the one who asked about him. Why are you suddenly interested in him? Is this your Jaehyun 2.0 phase starting up?â Yangyang grins, and Lana flicks his forehead in retaliation.
âShut up, when are you guys gonna let that die? Besides, itâs Y/N whoâs interested, not me,â Lana retorts, and immediately, the spotlight is back on you. You cough awkwardly, feeling a bit uncomfortable with all the attention.
âUh, he just asked if I would tutor himâŚâ
âAnd you said yes?â Yangyang sounds scandalized and utterly betrayed. âWhy would you willingly fraternize with the enemy like that?â
âWhat enemy? I didnât even know he knew I existed until this very recent development occurred.âÂ
âInfluencers like him are instant enemies to me, and as my friend, heâs your enemy by association. I can't believe youâre helping the competition,â Yangyang sniffs.
You donât have the guts to tell them all that the only reason you accepted his tutor proposal is because you got ahead of yourself and despite all the odds and signs, thought Jaemin was asking you out. You know your friends wonât make fun of you (too badly), but that is completely humiliating, and you will be taking that to the grave.
âItâs just tutoring, donât be so dramatic,â you scoff, making a face at him. âHe texted me yesterday, and weâre meeting up at the library later today, and I reserved a private study room for two hours.â
âOooh, so itâs a study date?â Moon teases, and your cheeks betray you with the amount of heat now emanating off of them.
âShut up, itâs literally just tutoring. Weâre going over supply and demand curves.âÂ
âNo, back up, he texted you yesterday and you didnât tell us about him until today?â Lana interjects, holding up her hand and putting on a faux offended expression. âWhat kind of friend are you? Weâre supposed to tell each other every nitty gritty detail about our love lives! Like Sungchan texts Moon good morning texts at eight in the morning, and by 8:30 a.m., weâre already getting a play by play about it in the group chat!â
Moon turns pink and opens her mouth before deciding against it and quietly shuts it. Yangyang silently laughs next to Lana, his shoulders shaking (You decide that you shouldnât tell them Jaemin actually asked you in person to tutor him three days ago or else, Lana will chew you out even more).
You protest, flailing your arms around slightly in exasperation. âThereâs literally zero development in my love life! I have nothing going on in it, and I can guarantee you that he does not see me in that light whatsoever.â
âYeah, okay, sure.â Lana looks wholly unconvinced, and your two friends look back and forth between the two of you like two kids watching their divorced parents fight. âSo⌠Do you need help picking out an outfit for tomorrow?â
â⌠Yeah.â
iii. sure, ken. jump in!
âHey, Y/N!âÂ
Jaemin loudly whispers a little breathlessly as he drops his bag onto the table and slumps into the chair next to yours, his chest heaving slightly. Startled, you jerk up in your chair, heart skipping a beat when you realize heâs here. You were supposed to be in a private study room, but there was a group of boys already in there, and as the most non-confrontational person to walk this earth, you decided to cut your losses and take a table nearby.
âDid you wait long? I got caught up outside the library when Somi stopped me and completely forgot,â he says apologetically, pulling out his textbooks, and you shake your head, giving him a shy smile.
âNo, itâs alright. I was already here anyway, and I got some extra studying done.â You gesture towards the papers and notebooks strewn across the tableâs surface, covered in your notes from todayâs classes. âShould we start with todayâs lesson? How much did you understand in class today?â
âMaybe the first five minutes of it only.â
You pause, glancing over at him. âProfessor Hwang was ten minutes late to class.â
âExactly.â Jaemin nods, and you stifle a laugh. He grins at you. âI donât think you realize how much of a hopeless cause I am when you agreed to tutor me.â
âWe can start from the beginning then. You have four weeks until the midterm, and we can go through every lesson weâve had so far. Iâll make up a study schedule if you give me yours. And if you continue to go to Donghyuckâs tutoring hours too, you should hopefully be able to catch up and do well on the midterm.â
Jaemin wordlessly pulls up his class schedule on his phone, and you plug them into a Google calendar that you quickly share to his email. âSo, I color coded your classes in green, and my classes are in pink. Do you have any other things that we need to work around?â
He peers over at your screen, scanning the contents. âI have my weekly frat meetings on Tuesday nights and mandatory events on other nights.â
âAlright, you can put them in and weâll figure out meeting times,â you say, pushing your laptop towards him and he starts to add in his extracurricular activities.
 âParty from 8 pm to 1 am?â you read skeptically, your eyes scanning over the event he tacked in under this weekâs Friday.
âYeah, canât miss it,â Jaemin says, typing in more events and making sure to color code them in blue. âDonât you have things to do on Friday night too?â
âUh, maybe grab a poke bowl from the dining hall to go and watch another Banana Fish episode,â you say awkwardly, fiddling with the small Gojo keychain you have attached to your pouch.
Jaemin stops, looking over at you. âYou watch Banana Fish?â
Your cheeks grow warm. â⌠Yeah, why?âÂ
His eyes light up and he asks eagerly, âDid you see the latest episode? When Golzine leaves Arthur in charge?â
The two of you continue discussing the plot as he finishes up adding in his schedule for the next four weeks, finally nudging the laptop back towards you. âDo you need to add in your stuff too?â
âMm no, itâs fine. I already put in my classes, and Iâm not in any clubs or sororities,â you answer, making sure to input Donghyuckâs tutoring hours as well before scanning over the calendar and pinpointing areas where heâs free for at least one to two hours. âOkay, should we start with meeting three times a week?â
âHuh, you memorized Hyuckâs hours?â Jaemin notes, giving you a sly smile as he moves closer to look at the schedule.
âHuh? No, donât you always know your professorsâ and TAsâ office hours?â you ask, looking up and are immediately startled after underestimating the proximity between you and the beautiful boy next to you.Â
âNo, Iâm not a nerd,â he snorts lightly, and you laugh awkwardly, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction and put a little more distance between the two of you before you go into cardiac arrest, âRight, yeah, well, anywayââ
âYou were also interested when I said Hyuck mentioned you before,â Jaemin says suddenly, sitting up straight before a wide grin spreads across his face as he loudly exclaims, âYou totally have a crush on him!â
âQuiet down!â You immediately shush him, the tips of your ears burning as everyone within a 40 feet radius in the library is now staring at the two of you. Youâve never received this much attention before, and you very quickly realize that you absolutely hate it. You loudly whisper-protest, stumbling over your words in a panic, âIâI donât have a crush on him!â
âOh, come on, your face is getting hot and youâre stuttering. You do too like him,â Jaemin laughs softly, propping his elbow onto the table and resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he gives you a once over. âI could totally make you into his type.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â You ask hotly, cheeks burning even more when you feel his eyes graze over your figure.
âOh, itâll be so much fun. We can go to the mall and pick out some cute clothes for you, and then swing by the hair shop. Youâre definitely using the wrong conditioner and shampoo,â Jaemin continues, eying your hair for a quick second.
âWait, wait, weâre just here for tutoring, what are you even talking about?â You ask, bewildered before grasping a stray strand of your hair between your fingers. âAnd what do you mean Iâm using the wrong shampoo?â
âAnd conditioner,â Jaemin pipes up, picking up his phone to search up some better brands he would recommend. âWhat have you been using? 2 in 1 Head and Shoulders?â
âNo,â you huff softly, your ears growing even warmer at the accusation. âI just use whatever my mom buys in bulk at Costco.â
âOkay, well, you should use this instead,â Jaemin says, showing his phone screen to you, and your eyes widen slightly when you note the price tag.
âI cannot be forking over nearly seventy dollars on shampoo and conditioner,â you say incredulously, pushing his phone back towards him and waving your hand dismissively. âAnd thereâs no way Iâm going to spend even more money on new clothes.â
âOkay, fine, I think I have some unopened bottles from sponsored deals that I can give to you,â Jaemin sighs, opening up his text messages to find his friendsâ group chat. âOr my friends would have some good ones, too. Maybe we can get you some of their free clothes from sponsorships, too.â
âYou guys just get free clothes?âÂ
âYeah,â he shrugs, glancing over at you. âOn second thought, Karina and Lia arenât the same size as you, so you wonât fit them. We can just order some basic pieces online or something for starters.â
âWeâWe arenât doing this,â you loudly whisper back to him, hyper aware of the other students around you who keep glancing over at Jaemin. âLetâs just focus on making this schedule and helping you pass your midterm.â
âOh, please, doll, itâd be fun. Just think of it as a payment for your tutoring,â Jaemin persuades you, scooting closer to you and pressing his thigh against yours lightly. Your breath hitches in your throat at the pet name and his touch. Youâve never been this close to any boy before, let alone one as attractive as Jaemin.
âYouâll look so pretty, I know the perfect outfits to make for you. And I can teach you how to get Hyuckâs attention, too,â he continues, nudging you lightly, and youâre still dazed, unable to get over the fact that heâs impossibly close to you, close enough for you to count the pretty lashes framing his even prettier eyes. You wonder what itâs like to be that beautiful, what itâs like to have people falling at your feet, what itâs like to mesmerize everyone the second you walk into a room.
Honestly, if Jaemin asked you to jump, your only response would be âhow high.â
âIf I agree to this, will you finally pay attention?â you sigh, and Jaemin instantly brightens up, nodding and giving you another one of those smiles that makes your stomach flip flop. Your Achillesâ heel is one very persistent boy who goes by the name of Na Jaemin, and he has hit you with a direct bullseye.
âYes, Iâll be a model student, doll.â
You hesitate for a split second before relenting. âOkay, fine, deal.â
iv. iâm a barbie girl in the barbie world.
Jaemin is easy on the eyes, but currently proving to be very difficult for your nerves during your fourth tutoring session. Your wardrobe has increased in style and size by now, and youâre dressed in a pretty lilac top that wraps around you and accentuates your curves and hides what needs to be hidden perfectly. Your jeans may dig a little more than youâd like into your stomach, but itâs your fault that you chose to wear your photo jeans instead of your sitting jeans. Also, your hair has never looked better, all thanks to the boy seated next to you.
âNo, when there is a low supply, thereâs a high demand. They directly affect each other,â you try to re-explain to the boy next to you, drawing out the line graph once again. He stares down at the familiar graph before looking at the written practice problem in front of him. Professors must have an insane amount of patience, you silently think to yourself.Â
You sigh. âLetâs put it this way. You and Jeno want to buy the same shirt, but thereâs only one left in the right size. So thatâs two people who are demanding the one shirt. And the store only has one shirt in its supply. So how would you describe this situation?â
âOh.â The look of realization flashes across Jaeminâs face as your example easily snaps the puzzle pieces into place for him. âThereâs a high demand and low supply. Too many people want the shirt, but thereâs not enough shirts.â
âYes, you got it!â You cheer quietly, mindful of your location at one of the libraryâs tables. âNow try reading through the practice problems and draw the appropriate supply and demand graphs for each one.â
 âAnd when Iâm done with this, we can take a break, and Iâll teach you how to do makeup. My friends will help,â Jaemin says idly as he reads through the first problem again.Â
Your stomach lurches slightly at that, and you hesitate. âYour friends?â
âYeah, you know, Jeno, Karina, Lia, and Yeonjun. Somi, too, but sheâs been busy. I can teach you basic skincare and makeup, but the girls will have to help you with the rest,â he says casually, scrawling down his first answer and the corresponding graph.
You swallow hard, your voice croaking slightly before you hastily clear it. âAre you sure? Do you think theyâll like me?â
âYeah, donât worry about it, doll. Youâre like a puppy, and everyone likes those,â Jaemin mumbles idly, eyebrows furrowing as he rereads the second problem.
âA puppy?â You donât know whether to be offended or not yet.
Oh, you know, just that youâre cute and all,â Jaemin laughs lightly, starting to write down his next answer, and your heart nearly stops in your chest. You force yourself to breathe regularly again.
âOh, I see,â you start to answer coolly, but stuttering on the last word, internally cursing your tongue at the last stumble. You try to sit calmly and relax for the rest of the tutoring session as Jaemin slowly makes his way through the practice packet, but the knot in your stomach continues to tangle even more, growing ever bigger. Maybe you should just tell Jaemin that lunch didnât agree with you and cut this meetup short.Â
But that means less time spent with Jaemin. Maybe it wouldnât be so bad. Jaemin is nice, so his friends should be as well, you reason with yourself. Thereâs no need to be nervous. Even if theyâre all incredibly beautiful, hot people with the most unapproachable aura you have ever encountered.
Like honestly, how is someone like Karina even real? Her face could start a modern day equivalent of the Trojan War. She is literally the face blueprint for every main female character you play in your otome games.
Turns out, Karina is even more gorgeous up close. Ridiculously close with the way sheâs inches from your face as she swipes on some blush on the apples of your cheeks. You never thought youâd see the resident it girl here for you, standing in the middle of your dorm room, let alone have an actual conversation with her that extended beyond a polite hello when she stops by for Giselle. Itâs already been 45 minutes, and your nerves still havenât calmed down.
âYou just need to apply a little bit here and here on both your cheeks,â she instructs you, pointing towards your cheekbones and carefully applying the rosy powder to the same areas. She pauses in the application momentarily so that you can type out a few notes into your phone covering her directions. âYou can go heavier if you want the cute sunburn, Sabrina Carpenter look, but if you do too much, youâll end up looking like my ex.â
âWhat?â Youâre startled, glancing over at her and nearly getting blinded once again by her lethal face card. She laughs lightly, giving you a slight smile. âA clown.âÂ
âOh, got it,â you chuckle, albeit nervously, shooting her a quick smile. âIâll make sure to not do that.â
âRelax, itâs easy. Just a bit of makeup here and there, and youâll be fine. All I do is some mascara, falsies, and a good lippie when Iâm lazy, and Iâm out the door in ten minutes,â Lia jumps in, holding several different tubes of lip tints.
âAre you sure? Thatâs really it?â You ask hesitantly, glancing over the various makeup products strewn over your desk. It looks a lot more complicated than what she had just described.
âWell, maybe you might need a bit more, like concealer and foundation. And some bronzer and heavy contouring. But just stick to the skincare routine and itâll help lessen it,â Karina sighs, dabbing some highlighter to the tip of your nose before seeing the uncertain look in your eyes, adding hastily, âBut itâs so worth it, trust. Youâll look so pretty, and it comes with so many perks. Girl math is knowing you can go out with no money and just your face card.â
âHey, youâre friends with Yangyang?â Lia pipes up, noticing the photo strip you have pinned on your corkboard, nestled between the various Mystic Messenger Seven fanart and Zorro art prints.
âHuh? Oh yeah, I am. You know him?â You answer, and she nods before leaning in and evenly applying a thin layer of periwinkle tint on your lips. âYeah, weâre in the same German class. Do you know if heâs seeing anyone?â
Well, you definitely canât tell her about the raging heart on he has for his best friend, but itâs not like he really is seeing anyone either. You do vaguely remember Yangyang saying Lia was pretty and talented during his quick 5 minute minute class to Jaemin and his friends, so itâs not like he hates her either.
âNo, heâs not,â you answer, hoping you made the right choice, and Liaâs face visibly brightens. âOh, really? Thatâs great.â
âOkay, weâre done.â Karina announces, stepping back and holding up a mirror for you. âNot bad, right?â
âOh, wow,â you suck in a breath, nearly gasping in surprise as you peer at the glass. You almost donât recognize yourself. The contouring lifts up your face, slimming it down, and the blush gives you a pretty pink hue that makes you look sun kissed. Your lower lashes have nearly doubled in length with the mascara, giving you a pretty babydoll look. Karina had perfectly applied a set of falsies for you, framing your eyes delicately, and the shimmery eyeshadow and soft winged eyeliner accentuates your eyes even more. Your lips are the prettiest shade of pink, tinted and glossy.
You canât believe it is your own reflection staring back at you.
âNow put this outfit on,â Lia says with a knowing smile, placing a shopping bag in your lap. âJaemin picked it out.â
âOh, really? Alright,â you manage to mumble out, dazed and still admiring yourself in the hand mirror. Karina laughs softly, nudging Lia before moving towards your door. âWe have to get to a sorority meeting now, but I hope you like it, doll. And make sure to practice.â
âI love it,â you say breathlessly, grazing your fingertips against the cool glass, still in disbelief. âAnd I definitely will practice.â
âMm, good, text us if you need any help! And send progress pics! We want to see how itâs going,â Lia answers, waving over her shoulder before the two of them exit your dorm. Sitting there alone, you stare at your reflection for a little longer, admiring yourself. You feel so pretty.Â
You finally remember the paper bag on your lap, and you immediately dig into it, pulling out a flowy floral sundress. Itâs beautiful, and you quickly tug off your jeans and tshirt before going to your drawers to dig around for the appropriate bra for the dress. You manage to find it, snapping on the bra around yourself from the front before twisting it until the clasp is against your back. You hastily push your arms through the straps, tugging on either side until itâs on perfectly. You suck in a quick breath, internally preparing yourself for the battle with the next piece of clothing, a.k.a. your worst enemy: spandex. Youâve familiarized yourself with the awkward jig you have to do around your dorm until youâve wriggled into the tight elastic enough so that it sits in the correct spot and sucks in all the right places.
At last, you won the war, but you feel sweaty now, flopping back onto your bed for a quick break. You flap your hands in front of your face, thanking whoever decided to invent setting spray. You grab your deodorant spray and douse yourself in a heavy dose of it before picking up the sundress and slipping it over your head. To your great relief, it slides on perfectly, and you quickly shuffle over to the full length mirror hanging on the back of your door. You straighten out the dress and quickly pat down any strand of hair knocked askew from your latest struggles before giving a smile to the mirror.
Dare you say it? You look pretty.
Youâve never looked this pretty before.
You happily take out the dainty gold heart necklace you had carefully tucked into your top desk drawer, struggling for a few seconds before you manage to clasp it around your neck. You quickly pull the pendant towards the front before slipping on the strappy sandals you left next to your desk. You grab the cute purse you bought last week, now packed with the perfect essentials, and give yourself one last once over.
You have nowhere to go, but you decide to take a walk to the dining hall. After all, youâre dressed up so nicely, makeup done so perfectly, you canât waste it on another night stuffing your face with hot Cheetos and rewatching the first season of Haikyuu!!. Opening your door, you step out and nearly run into someone.Â
âOh, finally, youâre done, doll. I thought you died in there or someâŚâ
His eyes widening in utter shock, his next word dies on the tip of his tongue when Jaemin sees you standing in front of him. His mouth falls open slightly before he quickly closes it to swallow harshly, his throat running dry. Heâs never seen you like this before, never imagined that youâd be this pretty. He inhales sharply, stiffening slightly as his eyes rake over your figure, seeing how the dress perfectly accentuates your figure, and settles on your face.
âJaemin? What are you doing here?â Your eyes widen slightly before your cheeks grow warm when you notice his stunned reaction.
âUm,â he croaks out, voice cracking before he quickly swallows again, silently cursing when puberty decides to make a belated appearance. âLia texted me that you were done, so I wanted to see how it went. You look⌠wow.â
Your cheeks heat up even further, and you laugh a little nervously, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. âR-really? Itâs not too much?â
âNo!â He immediately blurts out before his cheeks flush carmine. âIâI mean, you look really good. You should dress like this more often.â
You canât stop the smile spreading across your face, and Jaeminâs heart flip flops in his chest. âReally? Thank you, I will then.â
âOf course, really. I picked the dress myself after all,â He tries to joke before hastily clearing his throat. âDo you have somewhere to be?â
âOh, no, I donât. I was just going to go to the dining hall and grab some food,â you answer awkwardly, shifting your purse over your shoulder slightly and tightening your fingers around its strap.
âLet me take you out for dinner.â Jaemin blurts out, a little high pitched, mentally facepalming at how he sounds. âI mean, we can go over some of the harder problems in that packet since I probably need more studying anyway, and Iâll teach you a couple more dating tricks.â
âSure, okay, that sounds good.â You give him a wider beam, and Jaemin feels his heart beat a little faster. Maybe you donât need that much teaching from him after all. Seems like youâre a quick learner.
v. life is plastic, itâs fantastic!
âThe only thing youâre fucking is stupid.â
âShut the hell up, Yeonjun. At least Iâm not sticking my dick in crazy.â
You watch the light argument going on between Jeno and Yeonjun in amusement. You and Jaemin had just finished your ninth tutoring session two hours ago, and you think heâs getting on track to actually scoring a decent grade for the next midterm. You were initially going to head towards Lana and Moonâs dorm for your weekly anime show marathon, but Jaemin insisted that you stop by the Alpha Sigma Psi house for a small party. Giselle and Karina are both part of that house, so you figured it couldnât hurt to make a quick appearance. Good thing you spent some time touching up your makeup before todayâs tutoring session.
âHey, doll! Join the photo,â Jaemin calls out to you, gesturing you towards the area he and the rest of his friends are standing. You see another really pretty girlâMinjeong, was it?âstanding on the side, holding up a phone and preparing to take the picture.
âOh, no, itâs okay, I can just take the photo instead,â you laugh awkwardly, extending your hand out towards Minjeong, but Jeno gently nudges you forward, âNo way, you never take pics with us. Just one, come on, Y/N.â
âYeah, join us!â Jaemin says brightly, tugging you towards him and you stumble slightly, falling forward into his chest. You quickly catch yourself, hands suddenly pressed against his chest, and the blood rushes to your face.
âOh my god, Iâm so sorry,â you start to babble, trying to push yourself away before Jaemin quickly wraps his arm around your waist. âNope, youâre staying here, itâs just a few pics, please, doll?â
âIâI mean, I donât reallyââ
You start to say before Minjeongâs voice cuts through the air. âOkay, Iâm taking it in five seconds now. So get ready and pose or be ready to live with the consequences on Insta forever.âÂ
Everyone immediately shuffles around, and youâre squeezed even tighter against Jaemin, and you just know that he can feel your heart pounding rapidly against his chest.
âSmile, doll,â Jaemin laughs gently, squeezing your hip lightly and you inhale sharply at that, your heart rate spiking and increasing exponentially. You muster up a few shaky smiles as the flash starts to go off.
After a few more pictures, you manage to untangle yourself from the group and hurriedly go towards Minjeong. âI can take the pictures, you should join in.â
She immediately brightens up at that, giving you a kilowatt smile as she hands you the phone and slips into your original position in between Jaemin and Karina. âOh, thanks, Y/N.â
You wait a few moments for everyone to get readjusted before you begin to snap some photos, having already mastered this from the previous hang outs youâve joined and knowing how to take the best angles for everyone, including all the 0.5 zoom out ones. After taking some additional group and solo photos for the girls, youâre finally free of your duties. Your eyes widen when you check the time on your phone, and you hurriedly make your way over to Jaemin.
âHey, I need to get going now. I have to get to Lana and Moonâs dorm, so Iâll see you later,â you say quickly, already beginning to brush past him as the realization sets in that itâs been over an hour when you told your friends that you would only be fifteen minutes late.
âWait, what? Hey, hold on, doll.â Jaemin reaches out to you, but you slip past him, calling over your shoulder. âSorry, Iâm late!â
He strides over, soon matching your pace as you speed walk back to the freshman dormitories. âCanât you slow down a little bit? Itâs not like you all havenât seen these episodes before, plus we watched a few of them together after our last tutoring session.â
âYeah, but Iâm over an hour late,â you stress, slightly frazzled now as you hurriedly type out an apology to send to the group chat.
âJust breathe, okay? Youâll be fine. Theyâre your friends. They should understand,â Jaemin reassures you, grabbing your hand and you freeze slightly. He notices your stop and teases lightly, âI said slow down, not stop. Whatâs wrong?â
âN-Nothing,â you stammer out a little too quickly, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. Heâs holding your hand. Na Jaemin is hand in hand with you, fingers intertwined. You almost want to pinch yourself to see if youâre dreaming.
âWell, alright then, come on, let me walk you back,â Jaemin laughs before tugging you along. âYou can help me pick out which pictures to post on Insta along the way, too, yeah?â
âOh, sure,â you say breathlessly, your heart rate quickening to an embarrassing speed when he squeezes your hand gently, and you nesrly trip over your own feet.
âPerfect, so what about this one?â He holds up his phone to show you the picture you had taken for the group earlier, and you falter slightly. Why are you feeling a little disappointed with his choice?
Jaemin notices your hesitation and says a little softly, âI know youâre a private person. So I thought youâd prefer if I posted the group photo you took. You always take the best pictures for me, too. You know my good side the best. And itâd be weird if Hyuck saw, too, right? But did you want the other photo? I mean, if you really want it, I can..?â
âNo!â You hurriedly say to reassure him, squeezing his hand lightly. âNo, youâre right. I donât want my picture out there. And um, yeah, that definitely wouldnât be good if Hyuck saw.â
Jaemin gives you a relieved smile. âYeah, exactly. Youâre not upset, right, doll? We still have that fun pic of us and our homemade pizzas from earlier that I posted on my finsta. I didnât know making pizzas would be that easy.â
âOf course not, donât worry about it,â you laugh softly, continuing to walk back to the freshman dormitories, and Jaemin swings your joined hands between the two of you freely.
âMm, Iâm getting free cooking and tutoring lessons in exchange for dating tips. Two for the price of one is quite the good deal for me, right?â Jaemin teases lightly, and you let out another laugh.
âYouâre right, it is. You better step up your game then.â
âOh, just you wait, youâll get dating tips and a boyfriend, so weâll be even,â Jaemin chuckles softly, squeezing your hand, and the butterflies erupt in your stomach once again, and you muster up the courage to say something a little more teasing.
âIs that a guarantee?â
âWell, you have a demand, and I must supply, right?â
ââŚI donât think thatâs how it quite goes, Jaemin. Maybe you need a few more tutoring sessions.â
âAll I hear is that you want to spend more time with me,â Jaemin laughs, giving you the prettiest smile, and your cheeks warm up even more, heart stuttering in your chest. Speechless, you let him continue on, his chattering filling the air as you listen with quiet content, your hand securely tucked in his for the remainder of the walk back.
vi. you can brush my hair.
Jaemin sits on the edge of his chair across from you at the table in the dorm common area, anxiously tapping his fingers against the flat surface. You are down to the last page of the mock exam packet, carefully going over his work with a red pen. You made minimal marks on the papers, a stark contrast to the very first practice exam he had worked on near the start of your tutoring. At that point in time, he didnât even get to the end of the exam.
âAmazing.â
You say in awe, scanning through the last problem Jaemin had completed before tallying up his final score and calculating his results. âI canât believe it. You got an 87.â
âNo fucking way,â Jaemin is wide eyed, staring at you in disbelief, and you give him a wide smile, sliding the packet over to him, so that he can look over the exam and notes youâve written for the problems he missed.Â
âYes fucking way.â
âHoly shit, this is insane,â Jaemin breathes out, carefully reading through each page, and to his utter amazement, he understands every note and explanation you had added next to each incorrect question. He looks up at you, beaming, âI really got a B+?â
âYou did,â you confirm, smiling back at him. âAnd who knows? It might become an A if the exam gets curved.â
âOh my god, I owe you my life,â Jaemin chuckles, staring down at the graded exam in front of him, still in disbelief. âSeriously, doll, thank you so much.â
âOh, of course, anytime,â you laugh sheepishly, twisting the rings adorning your fingers around nervously before averting your attention elsewhere, standing up to go towards the adjacent communal kitchen and carrying your filled tote bag with you. âAâAnyway, I brought some things to celebrate a job well done so far.â
âAnd how did you know I wouldâve done well? What if I completely bombed that exam?â Jaemin teases you, standing up and following after you.
âI donât know, I guess I just believed in you,â you stutter out, cheeks warming up as you set down your tote bag on the counter, unable to look him in the eyes, and he freezes, mulling over your words silently.
You believe in him? Someone whoâs a hopeless cause? He honestly didnât even believe in himself, he thinks to himself, his chest constricting uncomfortably, a foreign feeling making its entrance known to him, constricting around his heart. He inhales sharply, shoving it away with an easy going smile. âIs that so? Well, thanks, Y/N. And what are we doing now?â
âMaking pancakes,â you answer, busying yourself with pulling out the ingredients from your tote bag. âYou need to be well fed before the midterm. Your brain needs food. And the class is at 8 am, and neither of us are not morning people, so this is as good as itâs gonna get.â
âPancakes?â Jaemin echoes after you, glancing at the various items strewn across the counterâs surface. âDoes it really take this many ingredients? Isnât it just the box mix and water?â
âThatâs the short cut way. Weâre making pancakes from scratch,â you laugh softly, taking out a mixing bowl and whisk along with the measuring cups and spoons.Â
âBut why? Itâs so much easier the other way.â Jaemin whines softly, and you chuckle lightly. âTrust me, itâs worth the effort.â
You hand the one cup measuring utensil and bowl to Jaemin and nudge him towards the flour. âHelp me measure out two cups of flour.â
âAlright,â he sighs, opening the bag of flour and carefully scooping out the first cup, scraping off any excess before dumping it into the bowl before repeating the process. âWhat next?â
âFour tablespoons of sugar,â you answer, handing him the sugar and appropriate measuring utensil before working on measuring four teaspoons of baking powder and a quarter of a teaspoon of baking soda. You pour those to the mixing bowl as Jaemin quietly measures the sugar and adds it in as well before waiting for your next instructions. You quickly drop in half of a teaspoon of salt before pushing the bowl towards him. âNow whisk this together gently, please.â
Jaemin busies himself with combining the dry ingredients as you take out half a stick of butter from the fridge (The one labeled with your name, of course. Youâre no food thief, unlike someone whoâs been stealing other peopleâs leftover takeout). You microwave it to get four tablespoons of melted butter before making your way to Jaeminâs side.
âOkay, now make a well in the center of it,â you say, and Jaemin clumsily makes an indent in the dry mixture before looking towards you for approval.
âPerfect, now add in two teaspoons of vanilla extract and crack the egg into it there,â you instruct him, and he obediently follows your directions. You measure out one and three quarters cups of milk and add it to the well before also pouring in the melted butter.
âDo I just whisk it together now?â Jaemin asks, picking up the whisk again, and you nod.
âYes, mix it all together. Itâs fine if thereâs a few lumps, but it should be smooth overall.â Your eyes trail over his face, and you stifle a small laugh. âYou got a little something on your cheek.â
âWhat?â Jaemin looks up, pausing in his whisking and you canât help but giggle, staring at the flour dusting his cheek. âThereâs flour on your face.â
âOh, really? Can you wipe it off for me?â Jaemin laughs softly, attempting to brush at it with his shoulder but failing to reach that high.
âOh, s-sure,â you stammer slightly, your hand quivering slightly as you outstretch your fingers and gingerly brush your fingertips against the apple of his cheek. His sun kissed skin is warm beneath your fingertips, and your breath hitches in your throat before you gently wipe away the remaining residue. You can feel his gaze searing into your face, but you refuse to look him directly in the eyes.
âThere, all done,â you murmur, hastily pulling away and taking a step back. Jaemin lets out a breath he didnât even realize he was holding in. He clears his throat, setting down the bowl. âI think this is all done, too.â
âOh, great, thatâs great,â you say, immediately focusing on the bowl before carrying it with you towards the stove, turning it on. âLetâs set this to medium-low heat. And Iâll add some butter to the pan, so the pancake wonât stick.â
Jaemin hands you the leftover butter and pan for you to set onto the stove. You use the spatula to move around a pat of butter, coating the pan nicely. Once the stove is ready and the butter starts to sizzle slightly, you pour a quarter cup of the batter onto the pan, expertly flicking your wrist to rotate the pan and cause the batter to form a perfect circle. You pull out a small container of blueberries, sprinkling some of them on top.
âWoah.â Jaemin watches you, impressed. âTeach me how to do that.â
âThis? Itâs easy,â you laugh softly, checking on the pancake until its underside is golden and small bubbles start to form on the top. You quickly move the pan, flipping the pancake onto its other side. âYou can try making the next one.â
âYeah? Will you wrap your arms around me and give me the one on one experience?â Jaemin jokes lightheartedly, and you nearly choke. âI meanâI donât think that's completely necessary.â
âRelax, doll, Iâm just kidding,â he laughs softly, nudging you gently, and you let out an awkward laugh. âOh, totally. Just a joke.â
Once the pancake is golden on both sides, you carefully slide it onto a plate Jaemin pulled out from one of the cabinets. Your heart rate finally returns to its normal state, and you manage to say calmly, âMaple syrup and whipped cream are in the fridge.âÂ
Jaemin takes out the aforementioned toppings, generously slathering on some butter before pouring the syrup and spraying whipped cream onto the pancake. He cuts out a small piece and quickly spears it onto his fork before taking the bite, nearly moaning in delight at the first taste.
âHoly crap, this is so fucking good.â
âMy secret recipe,â you say proudly as you start to pour the batter for a second pancake, evenly spreading it on the pan. âWas it worth the effort?â
âYes.â Jaemin swallows, almost immediately going for another bite before he gazes at you, giving you a genuine smile, and your heart rate again increases to an alarming speed.
âDefinitely worth it.â
vii. undress me everywhere.
You finish the midterm in forty five minutes, being the first one to turn in your completed exam. This means you finished twenty minutes before the class ends and consequently, either failed it spectucularly or knocked it out of the park. You really hope itâs the latter.
Despite being rather preoccupied with other matters a.k.a. your suddenly thriving social life, you managed to cram in some studying here and there because your mother would absolutely kill you if you lost your provost scholarship. Gifted kid burnout? Whoâs that? You never heard of her before (Just kidding, youâve had plenty of breakdowns and cry fests over calculating bond values and stock prices).
Now outside of the classroom in one of the open study alcoves, you drop your Longchamp bag on the empty chair next to you before tugging at the back of your jean skirt before carefully sitting down. You make sure to readjust your bra straps, tucking them under the ruched fabric of your white shirt. Tapping your fingers against the scratched surface of the table, you briefly admire the shimmery gold ombrĂŠ manicure adorning your nails that Jaemin had chosen last week. You pull out a compact from the inner side pocket of your purse, carefully checking your makeup to ensure it is still in pristine condition before quickly swiping in another layer of your Buxom plumping lip gloss in the best shade: fir royale.
The flurry of text messages pinging across your screen quickly catches your attention, and you tuck your mirror and tube of lip gloss away before scrolling through them, letting out a quiet scoff at Karinaâs latest melodramatic outburst in the clout chasers group chat:
[ 11:46 a.m. ] karebear â¨: guys, gals, and yuckjun
[ 11:46 a.m. ] choi YJ đŚ: what tf ??? why are you calling me out
[ 11:46 a.m. ] karebear â¨: shut up or else I wonât make out with you anymore
[ 11:46 a.m. ] choi YJ đŚ: đ¤
[ 11:46 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: are you that touch starved bro
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: anyway as i was saying
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: this skank in my marketing class has been copying my outfits and posting them on her insta and she has like 10k followers now
[ 11:47 a.m. ] princess lia đ: time to tear a bitch apart
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: like look at this shit
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: sent {10 images.jpeg}
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: my followers are gonna rip her apart
[ 11:47 a.m. ] karebear â¨: sheâs downgrading my brand
[ 11:47 a.m. ] princess lia đ: dw girl iâll do a response video so my followers will see too
[ 11:48 a.m. ] princess lia đ: she canât get away with this
[ 11:48 a.m. ] karebear â¨: loved a message
[ 11:48 a.m. ] somi amor đ: idk⌠theyâre similar styles but thatâs what popular rn
[ 11:48 a.m. ] karebear â¨: itâs gonna be song jia 2.0 watergate
[ 11:49 a.m. ] karebear â¨: just say youâre broke and go
[ 11:49 a.m. ] karebear â¨: if sheâs gonna plagiarize me, she better do it right like bffr walmart versionÂ
[ 11:49 a.m. ] somi amor đ: you have proof theyâre fake?Â
[ 11:49 a.m. ] karebear â¨: i mean fake bitch fake bags right
[ 11:49 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: idk sheâs kinda hot
[ 11:49 a.m. ] karebear â¨: shut up jen be like your hairline and fall back
[ 11:49 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: HELLO ?! back me up yeonjun
[ 11:50 a.m. ] choi YJ đŚ: um
[ 11:50 a.m. ] choi YJ đŚ: đ¤
[ 11:51 a.m. ] choi YJ đŚ: if you wanna be fucking stupid then knock yourself out
[ 11:51 a.m. ] karebear â¨: loved a message
[ 11:51 a.m. ] karebear â¨: hey my place tonight jun đĽ°
[ 11:51 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: are you gonna listen to your own advice yj
[ 11:51 a.m. ] karebear â¨: excuse me ????
[ 11:51 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: đ¤đ¤đ¤
[ 11:51 a.m. ] jenaur đ¤ş: proverbs 26:11
âHey, doll, whatâs so funny?âÂ
Jaemin appears next to you, and you let out a startled squeak, jumping in your seat, and he laughs, quickly placing his hands on your shoulders to steady you. You look at him wide eyed for a few seconds, his question not yet registering in your mind, and he waits patiently for your answer.
âOh!â Your eyes light up, and he smiles at the endearing sight. âJust Karina ranting about something and Yeonjun being whipped.â
âAh, so the usual?â He reaches for your bag, slinging it over his shoulder, and you stand up, pulling your skirt down once more to ensure youâre covered. The two of you start to make your way out of the Langley Hall.Â
âYep. How was the midterm for you?â
He brightens up, opening the door for you and you thank him. âIt wasnât too bad at all! I actually understood like 90% of the questions and for the others, I was able to narrow down the answers between two choices, so 50/50 chance, fingers crossed I picked the right one.â
You beam when you hear that, and he returns the smile, eyes crinkling in the corners, and you pretend to wipe away faux tears. âI feel like a proud mom.â
âI think my mom actually will be proud,â he says, eyes scanning the cars parked on the nearby street before finding his. He grabs your hand, tugging you along. âCâmon, we gotta go celebrate that our misery is over until finals week. Plus, we gotta prep you when you talk to Hyuck.â
âWait, what?â You abruptly stop short, and he nearly loses his grip on your hand. âWhen am I talking to him?â
âThis Saturday. Youâre coming with me to the Nu Chi party, right?â
âSince when? I donât go to parties,â you protest, âTheyâre too loud and noisy, and beer is gross andââ
âYou went to the Alpha Sigma one a few weeks ago though?â Jaemin interrupts, and you shake your head. âThat was a small party though. This one is the party of the semester. What if I embarrassed myself in front of the entire school?â
âParties are the prime time for meeting people and getting to know them because alcohol makes everyone friendlier and people donât stay within their friend groups,â Jaemin interrupts. âDo you really believe that youâll get him to like you by, I donât know, one day, your eyes will meet across the classroom, and heâll fall madly in love with you? This isnât one of your fanfics, Y/N.â
âShut up,â you grumble, letting go of his hand on purpose, and he frowns, bottom lip jutting out in a pout before reaching out for your hand again. You swiftly dodge him, and he whines, quickly snatching your hand up and lacing your and his fingers together.
âI hope this isnât how youâll treat him on your date. Thank god weâre doing a trial run right now.â
âA trial run?â you echo him, and he nods, flashing you that favorite smile of his that never fails to make you weak in the knees.
âWell, we have to make sure your first date goes perfectly so there will be a second, right? Practice makes perfect,â he says matter-of-factly, and you nod slowly in agreement. The logic makes sense somehow.Â
âOkay, so where would you pick for a first date?â
âMaybe a cute cafe? Oh, thereâs that one place: Cloudy with a Chance of Boba!â You brighten up, thinking about that boba shopâs menu you spent a good half hour scrolling through on Yelp last night.
âMm, the most popular place right now is that ramen place on the end of Maisie Street. Itâd probably be best to go there,â he muses, tugging you along via your intertwined hands. You nearly stumble in your heeled sandals but swiftly catch yourself.
âO-oh, okay, so are we going there now?â
âNah, letâs do the ice cream place next door to it. Not really feeling noodles at the moment.â He stops to look over his shoulder at you, and you run into his back, causing him to let go before quickly reaching out and grabbing your arms to steady you. âWoah, be careful.â
âSorry.â Youâre flustered, your cheeks now growing hotter than a furnace. Jaemin reaches forward, his finger carefully swiping at the smudged lip gloss on the corner of your lip. âWhereâs your lip gloss? You should reapply this.â
Eyes widening, he then shifts and peers behind him, craning his neck to the side in all attempts to look at the back of his shirt. âThereâs not a mark on my shirt, right?âÂ
You quickly rub off any shimmery residue. âItâs fine, your shirt is dark blue, so you canât see it anymore.âÂ
âOh, good. Wait, whereâs your lip gloss?â You fish through your bag, pulling out the tube and handing it to Jaemin. He uncaps it, giving you the lower half of the gloss before gently grasping your chin with one hand. He leans forward and tilts your head towards him, his eyes focused on your lips. The butterflies in your stomach erupt in an instant. You try so hard to stand still, fidgeting with one of the rings on your finger behind your back.Â
Jaeminâs face is so close to yours that you can count every single long dark eyelash that frames his pretty eyes. His lips are the prettiest shade of carmine, and you wonder what itâs like to be Aphroditeâs favorite child. How lucky you are to already be basking in the attention of her favorite; imagine how much luckier he is to be her favorite.
The beautiful boy in front of you carefully applies the gloss for you, fully concentrating on coating your lips with a pretty sheen once again. When he glances up, heâs almost blown away by the way youâre looking at him.Â
You look stunning, pretty as a picture in VOGUE magazine. Not quite the cover page, but youâre nearly there. A swell of pride runs through his veins, like an artist admiring his latest masterpiece on show in MOMA.
âAnyway,â he clears his throat, handing back to you the lip gloss. âLetâs go. Weâre almost there.â
âAlright.â You follow behind him like a lost puppy, and he reaches back to grab your hand and interlace your fingers. Your heart nearly skips a beat as your cheeks grow warmer once again, and for a split second, you wonder if he feels the same way.
âWeâre here,â Jaemin announces, letting go of your hand to open the shopâs door, the bell above it jingling faintly as he gestures for you to go inside.
You enter the pretty shop, marveling the clean and simple interior with circular white tables and matching garden iron chairs surrounding each one. Thereâs bright greenery and plants decorating the edges of the shop, and the wall is covered in mismatched frames of paintings and pictures in various sizes and colors. The cheeky neon sign displayed near the front read, âItâs not gonna lick itself!â, and you laugh softly when you see it. The display of different colorful ice creams at the front are absolutely enticing, and youâre already struggling to decide which two flavors to pick.
You finally decide on a Vietnamese coffee and honeycomb swirl, accepting it from the cashier before you start to pull out your wallet. Before you can even pull out your card, Jaemin taps his phone against the screen, paying for both yours and his.
âNever pay on the first date,â he chides you lightly, picking up his ice cream. âAlways let the guy pay for the first date.â
âOh, but shouldnât we at least split it?â You ask sheepishly, walking towards a table near the back that he gestures towards. He follows behind you, picking up some spoons and napkins.
âIf the guy is so broke that he canât pay $7 for your ice cream, then he shouldnât be out dating anyway. He should be getting a job,â Jaemin retorts, tugging your chair out for you before sitting across from you and handing you a spoon and napkin. âDonât you watch that Shera lady? Sprinkle, sprinkle and all that jazz. Maybe you can split for the future dates, but if the guy has any basic decency, he would pay for the first one.â
âAlright, Iâll keep that in mind,â you sigh, taking a hefty scoop of your ice cream and having the first bite. Itâs delicious, and you make a mental note to buy a pint and bring back to your dorm to share with Giselle later.
The two of you continue to discuss various appropriate topics to broach on a first date (âHey Jaemin, you like cheese? My favoriteâs Gouda.â â⌠Please do not ask that.â). You quickly jot down bullet points in your Notes app, your fingers flying over the screen as Jaemin instructs you on good conversational starters and body language.
âSo you just need to touch him on his upper forearm and then pull away. Stroke his ego and say heâs funny or some shit like that. At least you donât have to force yourself to laugh with him though because Hyuck is naturally funny anyway. And heâs good at keeping up the conversation and a people person, so it wonât be awkward even for your first date,â Jaemin continues as you nod, rapidly typing what he says.
âAnd at the end of the date, touch his shoulder again, glance down at his lips for a brief second before making eye contact. If heâs bold enough, heâll go for the first kiss. But then just immediately smile and say you had a great time before he can lean in. After that, he wonât stop thinking about that moment, and itâll drive him crazy, and heâll be texting you for a second date within the next day.â
âMm, okay, I think I got it,â you mumble absentmindedly, engrossed in writing down the last few bullet points and Jaemin leans over to take a closer look at your phone, his eyes flitting over the screen.
âSo for the last point, do I have to deny the first kiss then? Smile and walk away before he leans in andâŚâÂ
You start to ask until you look up, and your breath hitches in your throat at the close proximity, your and his noses almost brushing. Jaemin is so pretty, even prettier when you can count the few freckles dotting his face, can clearly see the mesmerizing golden flecks dotting his irises, can admire the way his lips look so soft and curve into the picture perfect smile. Your heart thumps wildly, nearly falling onto the floor along with your jaw when you glance up from staring at his lips and see that heâs already looking back at you with the softest expression on his face.
âYou donât have to,â Jaemin murmurs, and your heart stutters in your chest as he moves in closer, his lashes brushing against your cheek, and suddenly, his lips are pressed against yours. Theyâre pink and soft and slot perfectly against yours in a way that has your heart skipping beats and stomach doing cartwheels.
Eyes widening, you freeze up, letting out a quiet squeak of surprise, before he pulls away, giving you an amused smile. The lingering warmth on your lips makes your cheeks heat up, and you have to break eye contact, stammering over your words as you gently graze your fingers over your lips in wonderment.
Jaemin laughs softly as he leans back in his chair. âWeâll have to work on this too then. Youâre kissing like itâs a Park Shinhye kdrama.â
Youâre still dazed, cheeks growing even warmer as you avoid his gaze, fiddling with the loose thread on the hem of your skirt. âThat was my first kiss.â
Jaemin pauses at the realization, his cheeks flushing slightly before he clears his throat, giving you a half smile and a light chuckle, âOh, really? Thatâs cute, doll. Well, Iâll teach you some tips, so youâll be better at it by the time you ask Hyuck out. At least you got a decent first kiss, right? No big deal.â
âYeah, no big deal,â you echo softly, your heart still racing at breakneck speed. You pretend to focus on the remnants of your ice cream in the bottom of your paper cup, fingers gripping around the container tightly.
Jaemin was right.
You donât think youâll be able to stop thinking about this moment anytime soon.
viii. come on, barbie, letâs go party!
âAre you sure you wanna do this?â
Moon asks worriedly, helping you with your makeup as you sit, perched on the edge of your bed. She uncaps your eyeliner as Lana fusses with your shirt, smoothing out any of the wrinkles. âActually, I canât do it. You do it, Yang. Youâre an expert at this.â
âAlright, give it to me.â Yangyang comes over, grabbing the eyeliner and expertly draws on the wing above your right eye. âYears of cosplay have finally come in handy. Although, I still canât believe youâre putting in all this effort for Jaemin.â
âI need to look pretty. He usually does my makeup for me, but heâs busy right now,â you mumble, twisting the ring around your finger anxiously. âItâs my first time going to a party. I canât embarrass him when heâs a ten.â
âYeah, in rupees,â Yangyang scoffs, and Lana frowns at you, stopping in her tracks. âDon't talk about yourself like that. Youâre already pretty, and if anything, you should be embarrassed to be seen with that slime ball. I canât believe he doesnât even have the decency to pick you up. Why are you the one going to his place?â
âHe has some frat meeting right now,â you answer, glancing down at your newly manicured nails. The pearl color shimmers under the light, and you canât help but admire it even more. You wish they were a little shorter, but they really do look quite pretty.
âWhat meeting? Weâre in the same frat. Also, hold still,â Yangyang huffs, holding your chin as he draws on the left wing over your eye. âWe need them to look like twins, not cousins twice removed.â
âI donât know, he just said there was some meeting,â you mumble, holding perfectly still until he finally finishes. âMaybe it was a one on one meeting or something, who knows?â
âI still think heâs shady,â Lana grumbles, and Moon nods as well. âYeah, like the first kiss thing?â
âItâs no big deal,â you wave your hand dismissively, hopping off of your bed and taking a look at yourself in your mirror. âBetter to get it over with, right? I mean, imagine being this old and not having your first kiss yet.â
âIs that what he said to you?â Moon huffs, affronted, and you shift in your place uncomfortably. âNo, of course not. Itâs justâeveryone gets their first kiss when theyâre like fourteen or fifteen, right?â
âThatâs not the point,â Lana says indignantly, tucking your hair behind your ear carefully. âYou wanted it to be special, didnât you? It just feels like⌠he took something away from you.â
âHe didnât. I wanted this,â you answer loudly, ignoring the way your stomach flip flops as you try not to think back to that moment. He kissed you, he really does like you back, he might have not said it out loud, but he knows how much it means to you (Wouldnât he?).
âOkay, as long as youâre happy,â Moon gives in, and she and Lana exchange a worried look that goes unnoticed by you. But what can they do? They can continue to try convincing you, but it will never work when it falls on deaf ears.Â
âI am,â you insist, avoiding your friendsâ gazes and staring at yourself back in the mirror. Moon attempts to lift the mood again, offering you a tentative smile in the reflection. âThis whole thing is like a whole emotional rollercoaster, and Yangyang is definitely not tall enough to ride.â
âShut the fuck up, Iâm literally almost six foot tall,â Yangyang shoots back, and you laugh, relaxing once more as you watch your friends start to bicker again.
âListen, you canât be delusional and short. Pick a struggle.â Moon counters, and Lana agrees, handing you your phone to tuck into your pocket. âSheâs right. You carry yourself with the confidence of a much taller man.â
You smile fondly as the bickering between your friends continues. You miss them, you realize with a jolting pang of regret, you havenât been hanging out with them as often as you used to. In fact, the majority of your weeks are spent with Jaemin and his friends.
Itâs your first cold dose of reality, and youâre hit with a startling truth. You havenât been a very good friend lately.
â
Lana drove you to the Nu Chi Theta house, and you felt like a kindergartener being dropped for her first day of school. Your face feels hot as a wave of embarrassment rushes over you as you notice the amount of glances you receive from the insanely pretty girls and boys already on the front lawn and streaming out from the front door. You quickly exit the vehicle, hurriedly waving good bye over your shoulder before making your way into the house, almost tripping over the raised walkway.
You wander around the house, searching for Jaemin and quickly sidestepping a through the couples and other students dancing around, nearly getting bowled over by someone you recognize from your schoolâs football team. He gives you a quick once over before offering a half apology, eyes set on another girl on the other side of the room. You take a deep breath before pushing your way into the next room, finally spotting Jaemin with his friends, minus Jeno and Somi, by the staircase and letting out a sigh of relief.
âHey,â you say breathlessly, squeezing through two couples busily making out in the doorway and wincing slightly when you jostle both of them, causing them to give you dirty looks before resuming their activities.Â
âOh, hi, Y/N!â Karina says brightly, giving you a perfect smile and reaching over to squeeze your arm gently. âWe didnât think youâd make it.â
âMy first frat party? Of course, I wouldnât miss it,â you laugh, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear nervously before fiddling with the hem of your shirt. Jaemin gives you a small smile, and you return it with a slightly shaky one, your eyes flickering towards the fading pink, glossy lip mark staining the collar of his shirt. The color is much too dark to be Jaeminâs, and your stomach churns slightly.
âYou look so pretty, Y/N, I love the confidence,â Lia chimes in, gently pinching the fabric of your skirt between her manicured fingers. âI love this, youâll have to let me borrow it sometime.â
âOh, of course! You can borrow it anytime,â you agree quickly, flashing her a slightly forced smile before glancing over at Jaemin again, unsure what to do.
âWhere do you shop?â Yeonjun asks, glancing over at your outfit. âThe shirt is nice, too.â
âOh my god, yes, we have to go shopping together sometime, and youâll have to show me all the good places,â Karina cuts in, nudging you gently before letting out a sigh, looking over at Lia. âGod, Iâve been feeling so fat lately, like freshman twenty might be getting to me.â
âNo, same, Iâve been extending my gym sessions and doing Pilates,â Lia huffs softly, and you remain silent, switching your weight around on each foot, glancing over at Jaemin helplessly.
âI need another drink. You coming, Y/N?â Jaemin finally speaks up before brushing past Yeonjun, and you hurriedly follow behind him, careful not to fall behind or get swept away. He quickly pushes through to the kitchen, finding a spot next to the counter covered in various bottles of cheap alcohol and stacks of red solo cups dispersed in between.
âYou want one?â Jaemin asks, extending a shot of vodka he just poured out towards you, and you shake your head before he gives a wry smile. âYou sure? Itâll help with the nerves. You were shaking back there.â
Your cheeks grow warm. âYou noticed?â
âEverybody noticed,â he snorted, handing you the cup, and you wince slightly before holding your nose and downing it in one go. âGive me another then.â
âAtta girl,â Jaemin hands you another shot and you take that one just as quickly, making a face that causes him to smile subconsciously. As he pours himself a cup of beer, he spots Donghyuck by the pool out back, and a knot settles in his stomach uncomfortably. He almost doesnât want to tell you, and he doesnât know why. Itâs just because he worked so hard to make you look this good, and his loudmouth friend gets to reap all the benefits, he tells himself, taking a swig of his drink, Donghyuck doesnât know how lucky he is.
Ignoring all the stop signs and whistles going off in his head, he gestures towards Donghyuck outside, clenching the red cup in his hand a little tighter than normal. âThereâs your chance. Gotta do it before the alcohol wears off.â
âOh, um, actually, I wanted to talk to you,â you stammer out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear again (Itâs one of your habits when youâre nervous, and he thinks it might be his favorite). He pushes down the growing knot in his stomach.
âWeâll talk later, yeah? You canât miss this,â Jaemin insists before nudging you in the direction of the pool outside despite your soft protests.
âW-wait, IÂ jusââ you say desperately, but Jaemin merely waves you off before disappearing back into the party inside. You let out a sigh, shoulders sagging slightly. You wouldnât want to disappoint him after all the effort he put in these past four weeks.
Youâll tell him later.
â
âOh? Whereâs your little Barbie doll, Jaemin?â Karina simpers as she lazily taps her pretty manicured nails against the half filled red solo cup in her other hand when Jaemin returns to his original spot. âHave you gotten bored of playing with her yet?â
âItâs not like that,â Jaemin answers hotly, âSheâs⌠fun. She makes me laugh.â
âHow? By looking at her?â Yeonjun snorts, chugging his own cup before crinkling it in his fist. Jaemin wants to throw up. âWe thought you just did this because youâve been having a dry spell and were bored. Where is she anyway?
 âSheâs talking to Hyuck right now,â Jaemin mumbles meekly, shoulders slightly hunched over as he stares into the depths of his own solo cup.
âReally? I mean, is she even his type?â Lia asks skeptically, straightening up in her spot to see if she can spot you or Donghyuck anywhere. âIf anything, I thought her friendâthe pretty English major oneâwould be his type. How is she anyoneâs type?â
âHey, he turned her from a four to a solid eight. She might even go up half a point once you introduce her to an exercise and diet plan.â Karina says offhandedly, raising her cup towards him in mock salute before taking a sip.
âYeah, how are you going to do that? Itâs not like you can even sugarcoat it for her because then sheâd eat it too,â Yeonjun throws out with a smirk, and Jaemin feels sick to his stomach, the nauseating feeling growing exponentially and gnawing at him as his friend continues, âI mean sheâs probably already on the seafood diet because she sees any food and just eats it. How can you even stand her, Jae? The way she just follows you around like a puppy. Isnât it annoying?â
âGod, I know, the way she basically chases after us like a lap dog is so pathetic. At least she takes good insta pics for us though, so sheâs somewhat useful. But we had that one really good group photo at that last party, and she totally ruined the picture. You canât even crop her out because she had to stand next to you, Jae,â Lia complains, rolling her eyes, and Karina laughs, taking out her phone and scrolling through her photos.
âOh my god, I know the exact photo youâre talking about. Itâs this one, right? She practically threw herself into your arms,â She flashes her screen towards the group, and Jaemin wants to shrink and crawl into a hole somewhere and die. Was it the best photo of you? No. Was it the worst? Maybe close to it. Youâre standing sideways and still taking up more space in the photo than the others, and the flash photography did not do any favors for you. You stand out even worse than Will Smith in the sunflower costume meme. He cringes inwardly, noting the way your skirt had rolled up and youâre smiling a little too widely. He makes a mental note to help you practice better, more flattering poses later on.
âYou know that famous baby hippo? Moo Deng? I think we found her twin from the future,â Yeonjun barks out a laugh, reaching over and zooming in on you as Karina smirks before putting away her phone. Lia giggles and glances over at Jaemin, scrutinizing his reaction before a sly expression makes an appearance on her face, saying coyly, âYou have a crush on her, donât you?â
Jaemin flushes, embarrassment coating his cheeks, and he immediately snaps, âShut up, I might be lonely, but Iâm not desperaââ
âOh, Y/N!â Lia says loudly, effectively cutting Jaemin short. âHow did it go? Are you and Hyuck gonna be the new couple on campus?â
Immediately, his heart drops even further to his stomach, and Jaemin whirls around to see you standing a few feet away. Did Lia know you were there? How long were you standing there? Did you hear them? Did you hear every horrible thing they said about you?
âOh, Donghyuck said he wasnât interested, but he was nice about it,â you say, offering a vague smile in Jaeminâs direction, and he nearly breathes a sigh of relief as his heart starts to slow back down to its normal rate. A part of him is glad that Donghyuck rejected you, and he nearly misses what you say next, too caught up in this unfamiliar feeling.
âI think Iâm going to head back to my dorm. Iâm a little tired. Thank you for inviting me.â
With that, you turn away and walk off, but something still doesnât feel right to Jaemin. Itâs a split second decision but for once, he puts his heart over his mind and chases after you, ignoring the increasing whispers from his friends and their eyes searing into his back.
ix. raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by na jaemin.
Jaemin is right on your heels the entire time you walk back to your dorm. All he receives is stony silence from you that he fills with babbling nonsense, asking you whatâs wrong to no avail. When you finally enter your dorm, you turn to him at last, and he perks up. However, the two words that come out of your mouth have him deflating faster than Yangyangâs ego when Alice called him a shitty kisser with too much saliva (âYouâre supposed to make me wet down there, not up here. Honestly, dude, if I wanted to drown myself, I wouldâve jumped into the ocean.â).
âWeâre done.â
You decide to bite the bullet.
After freeing your feet from their pointy death contraptions, you peel off each layer of clothing one by one, unzipping the mini skirt and kicking it away before tugging at the spandex, unleashing the breath youâve been holding in since 8 a.m. to fit into it. Thereâs still indents marking the dips in your waist and your thighs, a lasting reminder that stays like an embarrassing stain. You fling that abhorrent piece of elastic elsewhere, and it falls near the end of your bed, out of sight behind the pile of textbooks you havenât touched for the past three days.
âHold on, what are you talking about? We made so much progress. You wanted to do this,â Jaemin protests, following after you and picking up the discarded garments you threw haphazardly. He waves around the skirt like a white flag. âYou wanted to be in the popular crowd, and you got it. Youâre this close to dating Hyuck. Yeah, he mightâve said no now, but weâll come up with a new planâYou can bounce back from this! Why are you quitting now?â
Removing the off-the-shoulder pink top that restricts your arm movement, you quickly slip on an oversized sweater before reaching back and unhooking the strapless bra whose underwire has been digging into your ribs for so many hours, a sigh of relief escaping between your teeth. You toss it onto your chair without another care in the world, and it lands next to the shirt in a heap.
âBecause this isnât me. This isnât what I like.â
âOf course, it is. This is still you: just new and improved,â he insists, frantically attempting to hand you your discarded shirt and pleather skirt. You ignore them, opting to pull out and put on your favorite pair of stretched out gym shorts from middle school that you had shoved in the back of your closet to make room for all the flashy clothing Jaemin picked out for you. âWeâre having fun. Youâre popular and pretty now. Youâre almost dating Donghyuck. You have everything that everyone wants. Youâre the girl the boys want to be with, the girl all the other girls want to be.â
You shake your head, reaching for the packet of makeup wipes near your sink. âItâs not what I want.â
Jaemin scoffs, âDonât be ridiculous. What are you talking about? This is what you asked me to do.â
You throw him a scathing glare, and he takes a step back. âGod, Jaemin, for once in your life, take off the stupid rose colored heart shades, and youâll finally see all the red flags around you.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Jaemin asks defensively. He thought everything was going according to plan; heâs going to pass macroeconomics, and you got to talk to Donghyuck and are this close to scoring a date with him. People notice you wherever you go, the two of you receive compliments, his friends like you, everyone likes you.
âI have to pretend to like things I hate and hate the things I like. I have to do things a certain way, act a certain way, pretend this is all effortless. I donât know if people are being genuine or pretending like I am. I hate thisâthis fake version of me.â You spit the words out like fuel to a fire, and you stand there in all your blazing glory, ugly uniform shorts and all.
âMy thighs keep chafing. My feet have blisters everyday from these boots. This foundation makes me break out even more, and I canât type up my notes in class or write fast enough because of these nails, and my grades almost took a plunge. Iâm basically freezing my tits off out there in a shirt I donât like. The lashes make my eyes itch, and this skirt is so short that I have to keep pulling it down every five seconds before I end up flashing someone.â
You donât recognize the girl in your mirror anymore. You pluck off the falsies lining your eyes, scrubbing furiously at the layers of expensive brand name makeup covering your skin. You wipe off every inch of it until your bare face stares back at you, slightly puffy, blemishes, faded acne scars and all. You feel like you can breathe a little better now.
âDid you really think itâs easy being one of us? Do you think people will notice you if you show up in sweats with Cheetos stains?â Jaemin stares at you incredulously. âThis is how it is. I donât get why youâre throwing it all away like this.â
âAnd yet, you were all for it when I threw away everything before.â
âBecause you asked for it! You asked me toâto make you into someone Donghyuck would date!â
âYou donât get it.â You whirl around on your heels to face him instead of the mirror, and the anger and intensity laced in your voice nearly blows him away. âI like myself the way I am. I never hated myself. I may be insecure about how I look sometimes, but who isnât? Yeah, I like wearing cherry lip gloss and mascara sometimes. Itâs fun trying out new hairstyles and clothes and learning to do better makeup. I like getting dressed up for special occasions. I like doing these things on my own terms. But this? What Iâm doing to myself right now? This isnât the same. Am I supposed to keep up this charade for the rest of my life? If I do eventually go out with Donghyuck, am I gonna have to keep lying to him? To everyone? I want people to like me for me. To actually know me.â
âIf this is how you feel, then why would you keep doing this?! If you hate it so much, then why?â Heâs frustrated, carding his fingers through his hair as he canât wrap his mind around the fact that youâre angry over this. You look gorgeous, so whatâs the problem?
âBecause I liked spending time with you!â you burst out, âI never liked DonghyuckâI liked you. I wanted it to be you. It was fun at first, I did like it at first, but I canât keep doing this. I canât keep pretending to be someone Iâm not. I canât be friends with someone whoâs ashamed of me.â
Thereâs a jolt in his heart when he hears your confession, but the second jolt comes quickly afterwards at your last words. Denial is the first stage of grief, and he pales at your final declaration. âWhat are you talking about? This whole thing is so that Donghââ
âOh, please. You can drop the act. This isnât about Donghyuck anymore. This is about you being too embarrassed to be seen with someone who doesnât fit your aesthetics.â You air quote the last word for emphasis, and his jaw tightens at that. âYouâd rather drop dead than go out with a four like me, right?â You smile sardonically at him. âI may be a four on a seafood diet, but my ears work perfectly fine, Jaemin.â
You heard it all, and Jaemin feels like he is going to throw up. All he can do is scramble and grasp for the last remaining straws, protesting vehemently, âI wasnât the one who said any of that!â
You laugh humorlessly, âIs that supposed to make it better? Youâre better than them because you didnât say it out loud? You didnât deny it or defend me either, so whatâs your point?Â
His mouth goes dry, and he opens and shuts it several times. Swallowing harshly, he barely manages to croak out a weak reply. âThatâsâ I didnât meanâI only really thought that before I knew you.â
âAnd thatâs just it, isnât it? You already judged me before you even knew me based on how I look. Even now, you still judge me.â He starts to open his mouth again, but you merely shrug as if youâve accepted this for all your life, and he closes it meekly, shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably, unable to meet your eyes
âThatâs okay. Iâm used to it. Thatâs how it is for people like me. I know Iâm not someone people fall head over heels for immediately. Iâm the one who reaches out to people first. Guys donât fall over at my feet, wanting to carry my books to class for me. The pretty girls ask me to take their Insta pictures for them. I donât get free drinks at the bar or invited to all the parties. Iâve never been asked out by a total stranger, and no one writes their number on my cup of coffee,â you say matter-of-factly, a resigned smile on your face, and it has him curling into himself internally, his conscience slowly eating away at him.
âAnd you know what?â you continue, âThat's life. Thatâs okay because Iâm happy with who I am. I like who I am. If I have to give myself up to get Donghyuck or you to like me, then heâsâyouâare not the one. I shouldnât change who I am for a boyâor anyone for that matter.â
âThatâs notâWe were doing this for you. You wanted⌠you wanted this makeover. You wanted this.â Heâs desperately clutching onto the end of the rope, and youâre holding the scissors to cut it off. You show him another half smile, one that doesnât quite reach your eyes.
âIt stopped being about me. It started being about what you wanted, what you liked, what you wanted me to be. I was your charity case, your little Barbie doll.â
You tilt your head to the side, studying the boy in front of you and he silently squirms under your scrutiny. âTell me one thing, and be honest. Did you even know I existed before Donghyuck mentioned me as a tutoring option? Before you needed me for a grade booster? Would you have liked me then?â
Would you have liked me then? Your question echoes in his mind, and Jaemin freezes, dropping the clothes in his hands. You know. You know he likes you, and the embarrassment creeps up on him in the form of carmine dusting his ears and cheeks, like spilled wine on white linen.
âThere are over one hundred students in the class,â he objects. âSorry for not fighting my way through all of them to find you and have a crush on you sooner.â
Jaemin seems to not realize that he just confirmed his feelings for you aloud, and perhaps, if he had told you this a few weeks ago, you would have been ecstatic and called up Lana and Moon the second he was out of earshot. But this is now, and youâve grown exponentially since then.
You give him a wistful smile, and as the dread piles up in the pit of his stomach, he knows this is the start of his downfall (or perhaps, heâs already been falling this entire time). He slipped from the pedestal already long ago, and itâs only a matter of time before he hits rock bottom. The higher the pedestal, the harder the fall from grace.
âI sat in front of you diagonally. You asked me to pass notes to my friend. You know, the girl who sat next to me? Alice? The one you asked out and went on a few dates with at the beginning of the semester?â You state the facts calmly, and his eyes widen at that. âItâs okay. But you mustâve remembered that we were in the same group for a presentation last semester, right?â
Jaemin stays silent, and you have your answer. Itâs one youâve known deep down in your heart all this time, but that doesnât mean it doesnât hurt any less. After all, someone can announce theyâre going to punch you, you can even see the strike coming to your gut, but simply knowing doesnât do anything to ease the painful aftermath.
You chuckle humorlessly, fingers uncurling and recurling into fists as your nails press moon shaped crescents into your palms before you look him straight in the eyes. âI donât fit into your cookie cutter life or match your rose colored Instagram filters. I donât have the perfect model figure or the perfect face. I donât look like the girl of your dreams, and I know that it just fucking kills you inside that you fell in love with me.â
Jaemin flinches, curling in on himself when he finally meets your gaze and finally sees the absolute hell fires of fury and repugnance ablaze in your eyes. You know that he loves you, and heâs ashamed that youâre right. Youâre absolutely right.
Why is he so afraid of loving you?
He loves how smart you are, how witty you are, how funny you are, how genuine you are, how you understand every obscure Haikyuu!! reference he makes, how you laugh at his jokes, how you dm him the funniest memes on Instagram, how you wear your purple scrunchie around your wrist during every exam for good luck and how you let him borrow it too. He loves how you treat him as more than just a pretty face, how you actually listen to him and make him feel like what he says matters, how you make him feel differentâspecialâlike he doesnât have to compete with all the other Barbies and Kens out there. Heâs much too vain, much too superficial, much too selfish, much too proud to admit it out loud, but heâs in love with you, and yet, he canât bring himself to love every single part of you.
And the truth of that matter is the ugliest of all.
But there are standards that he has to uphold, why canât you understand this? He lowered his standards for you, and you still couldnât meet them. You have the personality already, you are this close to being the ideal girl, and well, you both have to make changes. Itâs the prince and princess who live happily ever after, not the prince and the pauper, or god forbid, the ogre (No offense, Shrek). This is real life, and society has unspoken rules. He sacrificed so much for you, he put his reputation on the line, so why couldnât you do this for him? After all, love always has some sacrifices.
Right?
But when Jaemin looks at you now, thereâs everything, but love staring back at him. You look at him like heâs a repulsive piece of chewed gum stubbornly stuck to the bottom of your Steve Madden heel. It strikes a nerve and completely eats him to the core, but he pulls himself upright because nobody talks to him like that, nobody looks at him like that, certainly not someone like you. He invented you, he made you into the next Princess Mia, the next Cady Heron, the next Serena van der Woodsen, and this is how you show your gratitude?
âOh, youâve got to be shitting me. You act like Iâm the first person to judge first based on looks. Everyone does it. Am I supposed to strike up a conversation with every girl on the off chance sheâs everything I want? Do you think anyone would fall for you immediately when you looked like that? The saying is âlove at first sightâ, unless youâre one to believe in the whole âlove is blindâ idea, which you clearly do,â Jaemin snaps, sneering as he eyes you up and down. His heart and mind are screaming, crying, begging for him to stop, but his pride dropkicks him headfirst into the hole he dug for himself, raging for him to get the upper hand again.
âHow is it my fault for not knowing youâre the whole package when the wrapping doesnât match the contents?â
The unfiltered words slip out of his mouth, and he immediately regrets it, closing his eyes, but itâs too late. He sees the instant look of devastation that appears on your face, and it hits him like a boxerâs punch to the chest. He starts to backtrack to no avail. You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
âI am never going to be enough for you, am I?â you whisper, your breaths stuttering in your chest as your initial sarcasm turns into quiet truths now that eat away at him. âIâm either too much or too little. Thereâs always going to be something youâll want to change, something you want to fix.â
âY/N⌠I⌠Iâm sorry, I didnât mean that. It was an accident. I justââ
Jaemin canât continue on, his voice trailing off as he doesnât know what to say. He wants to keep apologizing, heâll do anything it takes to take back what he just said, but the damage has already been dealt. Heâs always known heâs an asshole, sure, but this is beyond anything heâs ever said or done in the past. He just secured the seat of honor in Dante's ninth circle of hell, and thereâs no return ticket.
âYou just what? You thought it would be okay to say anything to my face just because itâs not up to your standards?â
Jaeminâs face pales. âN-no, Iâthis isnât how it's supposed to go, I justâIt just slipped out, can we start over?âÂ
A public rejection from any boy or girl would hurt infinitely less than the words Jaemin spat in your face. The things that his friends said before within earshot? You could take it because you couldnât care less about them at the end of the day. But this? This was coming from someone you trusted, someone you care about, someone you lovâNo, you donât even want to think about that.
Jaemin never loved you. He never even liked you. The harsh reality slaps you like a cold shower in the middle of a winter night, and you want to curl up into a ball under your covers and cry until you fall asleep.
And yet, you will not let him humiliate you any longer. The spell has been broken. Cinderella is back to her rags, and her Prince Charming is nowhere to be found. Sheâs stuck as a toad thatâll never change. Eyes watering, you inhale sharply, laughing quietly in disbelief before you straighten up and your face hardens.
âAre you actually listening to yourself? You think we can start over? You treat people like theyâre disposable, like theyâre nothing, and once they donât match with your theme of the week, you toss them even faster than the time it takes for you to choose an outfit.â Your chest is heaving, and the tears threaten to fall, but you push on, swallowing the lump in your throat. He reaches out for you, and you take a step back, shaking your head.
âYou canât hurt people and expect them to just let it go. I get it, I know Iâm not the thinnest, or the nicest, or the funniest, or the smartest, or the prettiest. I know that Iâm hard to love. I get it, Jaemin. Iâve always known that.â
You choke on the last sentence, swallowing hard to stifle the hiccup that bubbles up in your throat. âBut that doesnât give you the right to treat me like shit.â
Rapidly blinking back your tears, you march over to your door and throw it open with such force that the doorknob could have left a dent in the wall. You donât want to cry, youâve always been an angry crier, and you desperately want the tears to stop. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry and hearing your confession. He doesnât deserve any of that. Jaemin doesnât deserve your tears, and he certainly doesnât deserve your love.
âGet out.â
Jaemin stares at you, mouth agape like a fish on land. You gesture heatedly towards the outside, choking slightly. âWhat are you waiting for? I said get out.â
âY/N, Iââ
âAm I a joke to you?â you quietly ask, and his eyes widen.
âNo! No, Y/N, youâre not, I jusââ
A single tear manages to escape despite your best, frustrated efforts, and Jaemin instinctively reaches out for you. You swat his hand away, angrily swiping away the stray droplet with the sleeve of your sweater. His heart wrenches in his chest as his hand dangles limply by his side. Youâre crying because of him. He caused that, and he feels like the biggest piece of shit in the world.
You refuse to let any more fall, glaring at him through the unshed tears and entirely disgusted with the boy standing in front of you. âDonât touch me. Iâm not crying for you. Iâm crying because Iâm so angry I wasted all my time on someone who never cared about me.â
Thatâs not trueâI love you, he wants to say, but his mouth refuses to form the words because his pride wonât loosen its grip on his heart. He loves you, heâs in love with you, why canât you see that?
You steel yourself, taking one shaky breath before looking pointedly at the door and repeating yourself, âGet out. Leave me alone.â
Numbly, he makes his way over to the door, ears ringing. You glower at him, the intensity searing and digging into the side of his face. When he stands outside of your dorm, he struggles to turn around and face you helplessly. Your eyes soften for a moment, and it shoves the dagger deeper into his chest when he recognizes that look. Itâs the same look he wore when he first saw you, and the shame that emerges nearly chokes him. The mixture of pity and disappointment painted across your face revolts him entirely, and he feels like heâs going to vomit. Jaemin is utterly humiliated.
Your gaze intensifies once more when you stand up to your full height, stare unwavering and chin raised up. Gripping the doorframe tightly, you drive the final words into his heart like a stake.
âI am too good for you, Jaemin, and I will never love someone like you. I deserve better.â
And for a split second, you almost convinced yourself when you said that.
You shut the door in his face.
Jaemin calls your name through the door several times, desperation ringing clear in his tone, but it falls on deaf ears. Apologies are a foolâs best friend, and youâd be a fool yourself to believe them. Holding your breath, you wait until you hear his footsteps echo down the hallway, until the solitude greets you like an old friend. And at last, you drop the facade and let yourself cry. Back pressed against the door and head bowed, you finally let go until all the tears are gone and youâre gasping for breath, the quiet hiccups and sobs bursting forth and breaking the silence in the same way he broke your heart over and over again.
You love him.
Thereâs no one to blame, but yourself. In the end, itâs all your fault that you were in this mess. How can you be so stupid? You can put lipstick on a pig, but it would still be a pig. Built up insecurities will bubble up to the surface no matter how much mascara and blush you apply. The warning signs were all there in flashing technicolor, but they were all tied up with shiny ribbons and deceiving perfect smiles. They lit up your usual drab life of blacks, whites, and grays, and you were blinded by the glitz and glamorâ blinded by him. It is hard to see the red flags and stop signs through the rose colored Instagram filters. You trusted him and gave him your heart when you shouldâve known itâd end like this.Â
You got greedy and tried to steal the spotlight, and you received it, front and center. You are the joke. You are the punchline, the comedic relief, the center stage of a slapstick comedy show. This is what you get for going off script.
Because you love him.
You were supposed to continue to delude yourself into thinking that you donât want to find love, that you enjoy being on your own, that you enjoy being single, that you are perfectly content with never experiencing romance instead of facing the cold harsh reality head on: no one sees you as desirable or dateable. And when your friends tell you that youâre not missing out on anything with dating, you were supposed to nod and agree, when secretly, you desperately wish you can experience that for yourself instead of living vicariously through your friendsâ love lives or the 3 a.m. scrollings through cheesy romance fanfiction on Tumblr. Youâre been fine all these years, havenât you? You were doing so well living on your own.
But you love him.
Itâll come when you least expect it, thatâs what they tell you every time, but what are you to do when you canât help but expect it your whole life? What are you to do when you so desperately want to know what it feels like to be loved in that way? God, when is it going to be your turn? When is it your turn to daydream about someone and know that theyâre daydreaming about you too? When is it your turn to have someone walk you home? When is it your turn to hold hands with someone? When is it your turn to feel the giddy butterflies and experience a good night kiss? When is it your turn to be kissed in the rain? When is it your turn to experience the romance you can only dream about?
How much longer will you have to be patient? How much longer do you have to wait, living in denial over the soul crushing reality of it all? How many more stars do you need to wish upon until you learn to accept the painstaking truth? You werenât meant to be loved in this lifetime.
God, you love him.
Itâs embarrassing when it shouldnât be. You just want to be touched by hands that care, loved by a heart that beats for you, desired by someone who thinks you are enough. Itâs the way you would give up ten years of your life in a heartbeat to experience being the prettiest girl in the room just once and have people look at you. The overwhelming shame washes over you when you never had your first kiss until now with a boy who never cared about you, never went on a date before, never had a boyfriend before, and you have to lie and say itâs by choice when itâs not. Itâs not. You have so much love to give, you have so much space in your life to share, you have so much time to spend with that special someone, but the grains of the hourglass are spent waiting and longing for a stranger who will never come.Â
The thought of it all just makes you sick. It makes you sick that you wish so terribly that someone would just look in your direction for once. For once, you want to be looked at in that way like all the female protagonists experience in the movies. And you know your value shouldnât be based on desire and objectification, you absolutely know it, but it still hurts when you go out with your friends and youâre the one dancing alone or sitting back and watching the purses. Youâre the one standing there by yourself, while every single one of your pretty friends is being approached by someone. It still hurts so fucking bad when you try to put yourself out there, but guys have already moved past you or donât even acknowledge your existence simply because of your face or a number on a scale. And when he came into your life and gave you one measly ounce of attention, you ran with it when you should have run away. Itâs absolutely exhausting, leaving you out of breath and on the verge of throwing up, to chase after someone who never even looked at you, to chase after their attention, praying to god that theyâll one day make you feel like you are worth it, that youâll finally feel some sort of value.
Forget ever being loved, you werenât even wanted.
There is no such thing as happily ever afterâs for the extras. Girls like you donât get to star in love stories. Why did you ever think it would end differently?
You love him.
And he ruined you. Even worse, you let him.
You wish you never met Na Jaemin.
x. i canât go out tonight. *fake coughs* iâm sick.
You would like to give a formal apology to Bella Swan for not understanding why she was so depressed over Edward leaving her for six months and making fun of her. In your defense, you were like nine years old when the movie came out, and you were more interested in Barbies back then (Plus, you were Team Jacob because you wanted a pet dog at the time).
You didnât even go through a break up, but it sure as hell feels like one.
You probably would continue to wallow in your misery for weeks, clutching onto the only two men you could ever trust in your entire life: Ben and Jerryâs while watching every iconic 90s and early 2000s rom-coms on repeat if it werenât for your best friends. But enough is enough, and you get that you shouldnât be spending weeks crying over a boy who hasnât even spent one second thinking about you. Itâs just hard to take that first step back up again when you feel like you tripped and fell all the way down to rock bottom.
And so, you finally let your friends into your shared dorm room, and you definitely do not miss the poorly disguised look of disgust and shock when they see the giant mess on your side of the room (Youâre very grateful that Giselle has been staying at her boyfriendâs place for weeks now). Itâs an intervention at this pointâone that you desperately need, and you know it.
âOkay, give it to me straight,â you sniffle, still wrapped up in your comforter like a giant burrito and clutching onto the ice cream carton like a lifeline. You know that your friends will just rip it off like a bandage, and you have mentally prepared yourself for it. Your voice comes out wobbly still from the tears, and you hate it. âI know I was stupid for letting a guy walk all over me like that. I know if any of you were in this situation, Iâd tell you that youâre better than that and to get over him, but itâs just so hard to do it.â
âHe who shall not be named is a scumbag, and Iâm gonna kill him the next time I see him,â Lana states, pursing her lips together. âI hope he has a bad hair day every single day because I know heâd be screaming, crying, throwing up if he could never get a perfect selfie ever again.â
You choke back a sob, giving her a watery smile. âThat would destroy him.â
âGood. Fuck him. Metaphorically, not literally. Why should you care if you are the girl of his dreams or not? Be the girl of your dreams. Youâre gorgeous, smart, and funny and heâs just some guy who still doesnât know how to use the correct âyourâ in an Instagram caption.â
You can write down a thousand and one reasons why he was the most horrendous, most awful, most vile person to ever grace your life. But at the end of the day, why does it matter? What good would it do? You still love him, and thatâs the worst pill to swallow.
âI justâIâm having a hard time believing that.â
âY/N, if you believed that Jaemin wasnât a shitbag for the past four weeks and all the time before that in his life, then you can believe in yourself right now for two minutes and listen to me,â Lana says firmly, clutching onto your shoulders and forcing you to look her in the eye as she continues on, âRemember the Barbie movie? Heâs just Ken. Ken doesnât have a good day unless Barbie looks at him.â
âYeah, like channel your inner Gina Linetti. Listen to Chelsea Peretti. âMen used to hunt.â Whatâs Jaemin doing? Heâs pushing twenty and doing aegyo on camera,â Moon chimes in, and Lana nods furiously in agreement before elbowing Yangyang in his rib not-so-subtly. âContribute to the conversation, Yang.â
âHold on, Iâm thinking,â Yangyang says, pausing in the middle of your room and placing his hands on his hips.
âOh congrats, I didnât know you could do that. But stop because youâre not good at it at all,â Moon says, completely ignoring the dirty look he throws at her immediately. The little exchange brings a small smile to your face and it feels nice to laugh. Youâve forgotten how to do that. You miss your friends. Youâre grateful for them for not giving up on you when you already have.
âCome on, letâs go see âCrazy Rich Asians.â Itâll be fun. We can watch Lana fangirl over seeing her favorite actor,â Moon encourages you, and Yangyang nods in agreement. âYeah, she picked a better man after the Jaehyun fiasco.â
âOh my god, let it go. I didnât like him that much,â Lana huffs softly, grabbing one of your spare pillows and launching it square into his face in retaliation, and he lets out out a high pitched shriek that makes you giggle.
âWerenât you gonna go see it with your best friend, Yang?â You ask, glancing over at him and he shakes his head, a slightly sour expression on his face. âNah, sheâs going with Dejun already.â
âSo unfortunately, weâre stuck with him now,â Moon says solemnly as Yangyang immediately throws her a dirty look. The look on his face makes you laugh, and it makes you feel a little better and your heart a little lighter.
You shouldnât have to beg someone to love you; the right person will never make you beg. The right person would never chip away at you, erasing different parts of you, until you fit their picture perfect mold, until thereâs nothing left of you. You would never have to call your friends at 4 am, drunk and crying for their validation, praying to whatever higher being is up there for them to take you back. Your friends have never looked at the scars and freckles dotting your skin and suddenly deemed you as unlovable. Your best friend wouldnât call you fat and point out every single one of your insecurities. You are not unlovable because you decided to eat a third taco or decided to not wear makeup today or didnât shave your legs. You may fight with your parents and siblings, but never once have you felt unloved by them. Never once did you have to get on your knees and plead for them to love you back.
You know you are worthy of love because your friends and family make it look so easy. They have shown you what love is really like time and time again. Youâve been a shitty friend these past few months, prioritizing a boy over the ones who really matter. Theyâve been so patient with you this entire time, and with an open heart, you realize that it is time you finally start properly loving them and yourself too.
You are loved.
xi. thatâs so not fetch!
Jaemin slinks out of the lecture hall, noting the dirty looks your friends have sent him from the other side of the room. Heâs been standing outside of the classroom before the session starts for the past few weeks in hopes of catching you, looking like a complete creep (and definitely feeling like one). But whatâs he to do when you wouldnât return any of his texts or calls? Itâs humiliating, and he feels smaller than an ant under a microscope.
He pretends to leave class early, staking out in the bathroom across from the classroom. Counting down the minutes, he sees the first wave of students pouring out from the classrooms and finally spots you. His heart jumps to his throat, and his hands begin to grow clammy.
Youâre back to wearing your loose jeans and basic t-shirts, your favorite purple scrunchie wrapped around your wrist and an old Jansport backpack slung over your shoulder, decorated with pins of all those familiar characters from his favorite anime. Your face is bare, aside from tinted lip balm, and youâre smiling. Youâre laughing at something your friend next to you says, and with a sinking heart, Jaemin realizes that perhaps maybe you are pretty in the slightest way.
He finds himself taking one step towards you, then another, maneuvering around the other students rushing to leave. Heâs getting closer and closer, if he called out your name, you would hear him. But you wouldnât stop for him this time. He knows that.
Jaemin is getting closer, just a few more steps until he can just stretch his hand out and tap your shoulder, and his heart is pounding so hard in his chest until a pretty manicured hand grabs his upper arm lightly.
âJaemin? What are you doing here?âÂ
He pauses, turning around and seeing Somi staring back at him in surprise as she continues, âI thought you donât have any classes at this time.â
âYeah, Iââ he hesitates, glancing over at your retreating figure and Somi follows his gaze, her eyes softening as she lets go of his arm.
âOh, were you waiting for her? Sorry about that,â she apologizes, pulling away and he shakes his head, shrinking back. Maybe it was for the better that you got away. Itâs probably a sign from the universe telling him to let it go.
âNo, itâs okay. She doesnât want to talk to me anyway,â Jaemin admits at last, starting to slink off, and Somi furrows her eyebrows, a puzzled expression gracing her face as she hurries slightly to catch up with him, matching his pace. He exits the building, crushing the graded economics midterm with a red 89 circled at the top in his fist and shoving it haphazardly into the side pocket of his backpack usually reserved for his water bottle.
âWhat are you talking about? The two of you are practically glued at the hip. She adores you,â she laughs softly, tilting her head slightly as she glances over at him. He ignores her look, continuing on his way off of campus and towards his safe haven: a small dog friendly boba shop snug in between a bookstore and a 24 hour laundromat he frequents more often than he likes to admit.
 âI honestly thought youâd ask her out at some point.â
Jaemin winces at that, her light response rubbing salt into his open wounds, stitches torn and bleeding, and he spits out the next words defensively, his pride rearing its ugly head again. âNo way. I never liked her like that. Sheâs not my type at all. Have you seen her?â
âWhat is wrong with you?â Somi frowns at him, stopping in her tracks, and he halts, unable to look at her and throwing out a dismissive âWhat?â In her direction.
âWhy are you talking about her like that? I thought you liked her,â she answers, staring at him in disbelief, and he curls his fingers into fists, gripping tightly as a multitude of conflicting emotions war inside of him. He starts to walk again, barely glancing over at Somi.
âShe was just my tutor. I passed my midterm, so I donât need to be around her anymore.â He responds weakly, uncurling and recurling his fingers into fists as he desperately tries to stay calm.
It was so much easier to pretend around his other friends. Aside from Jeno, they always took his words at face value, never one to pry. And Jeno would never push him, knowing that he would eventually come to him at his own pace. But Somi? Heâs forgotten about how she can be after sheâs been so busy with her schedule, missing out from the majority of hang outs for her social work and events, and their class schedules never overlapped. She can spot a lie a mile away. She actually cares. In a way, she reminds him of you, and he canât bear to meet her gaze anymore.
âSheâs your friend,â Somi retorts, following him into the boba shop, briefly stopping to pet the adorable Samoyed wagging its tail near the entrance. âYou spent more time with her than any of us, except maybe Jeno. And you werenât just studying in the library. Iâve seen her on your finsta and close friend stories.â
âOkay, and now sheâs not. Sheâs not my friend anymore,â Jaemin answers sharply, punching his order into the self service machine. âIt happens. People stop being friends. So back off, Somi.â
âJeez, what is your problem?â she snaps back, following him towards the back, settling on a pillow in one of the comfortable nooks converted into a small seating area across from him. âI caught you following Y/N, and now you say youâre not friends?â
Jaemin hesitates, fiddling with one of the decorative pillows in his lap. âWe got into an argument.â
âYeah, but friends fight. You can apologize, right?â
Jaemin is silent.
Somi stares at him, and he wants to curl into himself. Itâs the very same look you gave him before you shut the door in his face, and he feels the bile in his throat already. Her voice is quiet. âJaemin, what did you do?â
âIâ,â he whispers, breaking off and clenching his fists. He is already replaying that moment in his head, seeing the look of utter devastation on your face, and he wants to run away. The ugly truth is front and center, and he is unable to ignore it any longer.
 âI fucked up, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?â Jaemin bursts out, burying his face in his hands and unable to face his friend. He closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath. âI said some shitty things to her, some really fucked up stuff.â
âLike fucked up as in messy drunk thoughts or fucked up, fucked up?â Somi says softly, hesitantly, as if she doesnât want to believe her friend is the worst of the worst. Jaeminâs heart sinks even lower than rock bottom as he continues to hang his head low.
âIâŚâ Jaeminâs voice is less than a whisper as he finally confesses the horrible truth to someone for the first time. His voice cracks as he recalls every single disgusting thing and insecurity he flung back into your face.
âI said that it would be stupid for her to believe in love at first sight, that she wasnât up to my standards, that itâs her fault, that I was ashamed of her, ashamed that I even liked her because of the way she looked.â
The silence is deafening, and Jaemin feels the same wave of humiliation wash over him as it did on that very night. Somi is speechless, and he canât bear to look at her, one hundred percent knowing that there would be a raw look of utter disgust and horror on her face because that is the exact way he would look at himself. He sits there in silence as the guilt and shame pile up even higher; he is past the point of wallowing in self pity, already drowning and gasping for breath.
âJaemin⌠she was your friend,â she murmurs, gazing at him, mouth agape as the shock finally settles in, and he flinches slightly at the past tense. âShe actually cared about you. She made you happy.â
âI know,â he says softly.
âShe was the best thing that ever happened to you.â Somi continues quietly.
Jaemin sucks in a sharp breath, biting his bottom lip. âI know.â
âThen why?â
Because I was stupid, he thinks silently, Because I am a coward. Because she embarrassed me. She made me feel small. She made me feel insignificant. She made me look at myself in the mirror, and for the first time in my life, I absolutely hated what I saw staring back at me.
âI donât know,â Jaemin whispers, staring down at his lap in resignation and unable to swallow the truth.
He knows.
xii. you canât sit with us.
You continue to avoid Jaemin in Macroeconomics, choosing to slip into class at the very last minute. You see him waiting in front of the classroom every session for the past three weeks, searching for you, but you opt to go to the professorâs office hours every time before class and end up walking with her to class as she answers your questions about the assigned readings and problems. Alice saves you a seat in the front row, and you never told her but youâre grateful when you realize she must have asked her other friends to sit around the two of you, effectively barricading Jaemin from any attempt at sitting next to you. Finals week comes and goes with the winter break following suit, and you think he has finally given up on any attempt at reaching you.
But life has an unfortunate penchant for bringing up thingsâor peopleâyou wish to forget when you least expect it. It was supposed to be an ordinary Thursday four weeks into the spring semester, and youâre exiting your last class of the day, tucking your laptop into the cute tote bag you bought from the New York Strands bookstore as you walk across campus.
âY/N.â Jaemin appears in front of you, and suddenly, all the air in your lungs seem to have been sucked out. Itâs almost embarrassing how two months of self progress can be toppled over as easily as a house of cards. Your brain says to hate him, but one glance at him still has you weak in the knees. You take a deep breath, counting to three before walking around and ignoring him entirely.
âPlease, can we just talk for five minutes? Iâm sorry.â He desperately reaches out for you, and you can see some people starting to take note of the two of you, their gazes on your back.
âLeave me alone, Jaemin.â You continue to walk away, hiking up the strap of your bag higher over your shoulder, desperately trying to quell the stupid colony of butterflies in your stomach that have laid dormant for so long. âI donât want to talk to you.â
âPlease, just five minutesâthree minutesâand Iâll leave you alone forever. Listen to me,â he says in a quiet tone. It was an order, a request, and a plea all at once.
You pause, scrutinizing him for a few moments before grabbing his arm and dragging him away from prying eyes. You stop on the secluded side of the building underneath the magnolia trees before dropping his hand. âYou have two minutes. Talk.â
âIâm an idiot.â
âGood to know youâre self aware. Youâre finally experiencing some character growth.â
Jaemin grimaces at your stony expression. âOkay, that was deserved. I truly am sorry, Y/N. Itâs my fault, I shouldnât have lashed out at you, and Iâm an asshole who took advantage of you. You do deserve better. You deserve someone better than me. But I want to be that person. You make me a better person.â
You stay quiet, and Jaemin fidgets around. âIs that⌠is that okay? I know itâs selfish of me, butââ
âYouâre right, that is selfish of you.â
Jaemin falls silent at that, face flushing before he speaks up meekly, âCanât we start over? Try again?â
In that moment, you truly pity the boy in front of you. The lost expression on his face tells it all as he desperately clutches onto whatever lifeline youâre willing to toss out. But heâs causing you to drown, and you need to cut the cord and put yourself first for once. Maybe you can change him. But you canât do this to yourself again.
You take a deep breath and pinch yourself, reminding yourself that this is the same boy who broke your heart because it wasnât pretty enough for him. âThere is no trying again. You never tried, and Iâm done trying for you. Jaemin, you donât love me. Youâve never felt that way towards me.â
âYes, I have! I do! I really do,â he protests, and you shake your head, taking a step back. He starts to take one step forward towards you and hesitates, staying in his original spot. Your gaze is cold, and he finds himself wishing that you would look at him in the way you used to.
âYou love the idea of me: the one you built up in your head,â you say, tone growing quiet. âBut Iâm nothing like her. To some degree, I think I might be the first genuine connection you ever made with a girl. You liked the way I felt about you and how I acted for you. I changed everything about myself for you, I wouldâve followed you anywhere, I wouldâve done anything for you, and you took advantage of that. You took advantage of the fact that I love you.â
You may not truly know what love is, but you know itâs something he never gave you. It stings, knowing that even after all of this, you still secretly, desperately long for the type of love you know will always be out of your reach. A part of you wants to believe him, but this time, you listen to your mind instead of your heart.
Jaeminâs head shoots up at your confession, eyes widening in belated realization, and you curl your lips inward, biting your lower lip. You love him. You love him, he now knows, and to your surprise, it didnât hurt as much as you thought it would. Three steps forward and two steps back is still one step in the right direction.
âOne day, youâre gonna find someone whoâs finally enough for youâsomeone whoâs worth making pancakes for,â you say wistfully, pausing for a minute before gathering the courage to continue.
âAnd youâre gonna fall in love with them. Like really love them. Youâre gonna love them so much that youâll try your hardest to be enough for them. Youâre gonna try so fucking hard to be the one they want, the one they love, that youâll do anything for them. Youâll even change yourself for betterâor for worse.â You grip the strap of your tote bag even tighter, a dull pang in your heart making its appearance, and Jaemin winces, lowering his eyes as the regret and guilt pools into his stomach.
âBut sometimes, it wonât be enough. Itâs not going to be enough,â you continue, swallowing hard. âAnd itâll never be enough for them. Youâre willing to move heaven and earth for them, but they wonât notice. Or maybe they donât even care. No matter how hard you try to love them, it wonât matter unless they want you. Unless they choose you. And itâll hurt like hell. Itâll hurt every single time you see them, every time you hear them, every time you think of them.â
Your voice softens, shaking slightly as you take in a wavering breath before pushing forward. âAnd when it hurts, youâre going to think of me. Youâre going to remember me because thatâs when youâll understand what it feels like. Thatâs when youâll know how I felt. How it feels to not be enough. How it feels to have your heart ripped to shreds by someone you care aboutâsomeone you love.â
His heart drops, and you give him a wistful smile before it quickly disappears, and your expression schools into one of indifference. You continue to walk forward confidently, brushing past his frozen figure. You see your friends waiting for you on the other side of the lawn, and you look over your shoulder at Jaemin one last time, taking a deep breath and steeling yourself.
âAnd you know what? I hope to fucking god it hurts you as much as you hurt me.â
The world continues to spin, you keep moving forward, and he remains rooted in his spot, unable to look away from you. There are so many Barbies and Kens out there, so many more Na Jaemins who will come into your life and sweep you off your feet, and youâll make them feel special and more than a pretty face, he belatedly realizes, heâs disposable and so easily replaceable, but thereâs only ever going to be one you.Â
As he watches you walk away, Jaemin thinks he is starting to understand.
EPILOGUE.
Life likes to play cruel jokes, and the senior year gives you the most hilarious one of all in the form of your final capstone project. Last you heard about Jaemin, he had switched his major to pre med (which was ironic to you since that field would require him to care about other people, which he clearly proved to be incapable of). However, your university decided to implement a cross collaboration between the various schools, and itâs just your luck that you find yourself paired up with Jaemin. Giving him a tight smile as you take a seat across from him in the library room he reserved, you take out your laptop.
Jaemin had asked earlier if you wanted to request a new assigned partner, but you highly doubt any professor would switch up a pairing on account of one person being guilty of being the greatest asshole to ever exist (Plus, youâll come across many guys like him in your field of work, so you might as well start building up your tolerance now).
It is the final time you will meet up with him before the big presentation, and the two of you work together in silence, only breaking it to discuss the project topic. It is neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, settled somewhere in betweenâkind of like a purgatory for relationships. Youâve stopped thinking about him a while ago already, but seeing someone who once was a part of your life always brings back memories, whether wanted or not.
âI met someone.â
Jaemin breaks the ice, unable to hold it back any longer. He feels like heâs going to explode if he doesn't get this off of his chest. There is a slight pause in your writing before you resume, but he knows you are listening.
âI met her after⌠after ourâŚâ He trails off. He doesnât know what to call itâwhat the two of you had. An almost relationship. â⌠After us.â
You continue to write, taking note of several points to be discussed based on your slide. He puts down his pen, clasping his hands together as he fiddles with one of the rings wrapped around his fingers.
âI made her blueberry pancakes.â
You sharply inhale for a brief millisecond before you jot down another bullet point. One, two, three, four, five bullet points until you can breathe normally again. Youâre twenty two years old, but you suddenly feel like youâre eighteen again. You sometimes loathed your younger self, but because of her, you learned so many things (Forgiveness is one of them).
âI donât know what else to do, except keep making her pancakes.â Jaemin sits there idly for a few moments, entirely unaware of your inner turmoil, before he laughs derisively, âSheâs in love with my best friend. She never told me, but I can just tell.â
Thereâs another pause from him. Staring down at his notebook, he swallows hard, the lump in his throat never fully going away. His voice cracks as he whispers out his question:
âDoes it ever stop hurting?â
Your pen stops moving across the paper, dropping to the side. Thereâs a black scribble from where it fell. You still continue to look at the index card, focusing on the college ruled lines until they become a mosaic blur of blue, black, and white.
âEventually.â
Your tone is impassive, and his head snaps up at your reply. You pick up the pen again. You donât look at him, but you know heâs staring at you, an unrecognizable expression in his eyes.
Perhaps, it would have been different if you had met the present day him back then instead. Perhaps, it wouldâve worked out. Maybe he would have made another girl fall in love with him, broke her heart, and come out unscathed. Or maybe he would still be the same as his past self if he hadnât met you. Itâs the butterfly effect; you donât know what would have happened, but you donât care. Not anymore.
By now, you have mourned him for longer than you have loved him.
âY/N, you were never hard to love. I was bad at loving. Iâm sorry for hurting you.â
And this time, you know he truly means itâthat Jaemin truly understands. It is good that he has learned and tried to become a better person. You just wish it didnât have to come at the expense of you.
Your first love teaches you what love isnât.
The threads holding the pieces of your heart together these past three years have always been so fragile. Just one tug at the heart strings, and everything unravels so easily, like grains of sand slipping through your fingers. Youâve nearly forgotten what heartbreak feels like, the old wounds opening up for a long forgotten friend that you had prayed you would never meet again.
You discover that it hurts even more the second time around.
âI wish I fell in love with you back then.â
His tone is forlorn, a silent resolution wrapped in happenstance. You continue to write down more notes for your part of the presentation, the soft scritches of your pen against paper almost masking your quiet response, and Jaemin nearly misses it.
âSo did I.â
#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#jaemin scenarios#jaemin imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#jaemin fluff#jaemin angst#jaemin x reader#nct dream scenarios#nct dream imagines#nct fanfic#nct fic#jaemin fic#jaemin#na jaemin#nct dream#nct#luvpuffcore collab
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SUMMER LOVINâ
Charles Leclerc x Reader
You and Charles fall in love in St.Lucia (one shot)
Warnings: none?
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
INSTAGRAM
youruser
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youruser: you think you just fell out of a coconut tree???đĽĽ
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yourbffuser: HELLO??!! Who is the man????
- youruser: what man?
- yourbffuser: now i KNOW you arenât serious. in the second pic!!!!
- youruser: oh him⌠thatâs pookie đđ¤
- yourbffuser: count your motherfuckin days
yoursisteruser: you collect white men like pokemon smh
- youruser: gotta catch âem all!! đđ¤
-yoursisteruser: sigh
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charles_leclerc: St. Lucia đâď¸
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user1: why is he so boyfriend coded in the 2nd pic?
- user2: donât be alarmed bestie but it might have something to do with the literal girl heâs holding hands with in the 3rd picâŚ
landonorris: is this what the youth call a soft launch?
-charles_leclerc: you are the youth
carlossainz55: ay whoâs the girl?
â charles_leclerc: No one and everyone
â user1: wtf does this mean đ đ
â user5: why is this simultaneously the dumbest yet most romantic thing Iâve ever read, and I have a boyfriend đ
â user6: girl- tell your boyfriend to step up or leave him⌠the bar is in literal hell. â user7: bro releases a couple songs and thinks heâs cool and mysterious
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youruser: cute solo travel idea- get a man to take you places
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yourbffuser: two posts with the same guy? I fear weâve lost her
- youruser: NOOOO Iâm still a bad bitch, Iâm licensed and everything!!
- yoursisteruser: heartbreaker turns into lover girl⌠story for the ages
yoursisteruser: who is he???? Your fans want to know!!
âyouruser: just a cute monegasque
âyoursisteruser: is that a cheese or something?
â youruser: a place apparently⌠he gets stroppy when I call him French đ¤ˇđžââď¸
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charles_leclerc: summer lovinâ happened so fast
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user4: two posts with what Iâm guessing is the same girl⌠please twitter users starts sleuthing!!
â user5: or, hear me out, bit of a wild suggestion, just let them be?
â user3: do you think they were together b4, or he found her on holiday??
â user4: wait holdup I didnât even think of the possibility that this could be just a vacation romance youâre so right @user3
â user5: why do I even bother with these people
pierregasly: day 67895 of asking you to tell me who she is!!
â user53: lmao Pierre is one of us confirmed
â user43: close! He actually knows Charles personally so no he isnât one of you
â user53: now what did I do to you? đ
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youruser: bye bye bye you were bigger than the whole skyâŚ
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yourbffuser: oh pooks
yoursisteruser: glad to know you have a heart
â youruser: bite me
â yourbffuser: time and place, bestie @yoursisteruser
MESSAGES
SIX MONTHS LATER
MESSAGES
3 MONTHS LATER
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charles_leclerc: mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
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lewishamilton: nice to see it brother! You know what they say
â youruser: once you go black!
â lewishamilton: I was gunna say the course of true love never did run smoothâŚ
â youruser: mine works better!!
â user4: lmao sheâs hilarious
â user5: and just as chaotic as Charles đ theyâre made for eachother
âuser6: idk I think he needs someone more introverted⌠sheâs attention seeking (this user was blocked by charles_leclerc)
âcharles_leclerc: blocked đ¤đ
âyouruser: my man, my man, my man!
landonorris: sheâs gorgeous
â charles_leclerc: why do you live to cause me distress??
georgerussell63: blimey, was only yesterday you told us you never got her number
â maxverstappen1: very stupid
â danielricciardo: Max be nice
â maxverstappen1: sorry
carlossainz55: well done cabron!
youruser: mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
arthur_leclerc: sheâs lovely
â charles_leclerc: isnât she just
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#charles leclerc smau#f1 smau#charles leclerc x black!reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#formula 1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one smau#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 x black!reader
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