#but there is no way faster to despise someone that to see in them what you hate about yourself

[shiawasekai]

Sooooo... For the longest time I've been conflicted on Nela's feelings about Wenduag, but I don't think I am anymore.

In short, whilst Nela getting rid of Camellia is purely a rational act born of the inability to keep her in check, I think Nela despises Wenduag. In some senses, Wenduag's actions and some of her circumstances remind her of her own life in a way that revolts her.

By which I mean, the entire situation in the Maze would bring her the worst flashbacks about The Incident. Both were tricked and tempted to take part in something immoral that required the death of innocents, yet both took opposite choices. Wenduag is, in a way, the Nela who folded and went through with the experiment.

And Wenduag IS tricking others into taking part of this, perpetuating the cycle. The chosen victim is an aasimar, on top of that, which would make it extra revolting to see for Nela.

Camellia's death was an act of rationality, but I think Wenduag is dying in Act 3 out of disgust. Both towards Wenduag and the person Nela herself could have become that day.

[fmhobeus]

so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

[raythekiller]

could you plz do the creeps realizing they like someone & what they do abt their feelings?? thank you sm !

🗒 ❛ Realizing They're In Love ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie

#Notes: warning for some light angst in some parts (mainly EJ and LJ)

pronouns used:

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer

He absolutely hates the way you make him feel and will be extra mean to you because of it. He doesn't even realize what the feelings are at first, he just knows they make him feel vulnerable and weak and he despises that and, by correlation, despises you as well. Once he does realize it though (after a good, good while) he'll still be mean, but more in a teasing sort of way. You can probably tell he has something for you because of how possessive he gets, always wanting your attention to be towards him and getting jealous every time you spend time with other people. He'll just keep behaving that way and getting increasingly upset that you won't notice his "obvious" flirting.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned

Now this guy is the most shameless simp to have ever simped on the face of the Earth. That being said, he's not used to actually having feelings for someone - normally it only goes as far as physical attraction. So while he is normally decent at flirting (again, if you like cringe pickup lines at all), it all goes down the drain as soon as he realized he's actually, genuinely down bad. Suddenly he's stuttering, unable to get sentences out right, and finds his mind going blank whenever you're around, just fidgeting with his fingers nervously instead of trying to make a move. It's cute if you're into shy guys.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby

Another one who's a little bit oblivious to his own feelings for a long, long time. All he knows is that you remind him of simpler times, times where things were better, so he wants to be around you as often as he possibly can. You'll be sitting side by side and he'll see your hand resting by your body and the thought of grabbing it crossed his mind, his heart immediately started beating faster to the point he had to excuse himself. That's when he knew. Though he is quite shy by nature, he'll try his best to be a little bolder in his own way, complimenting you more and being a little more physical. One of the only guys who isn't afraid to confess first, though his is a little bit more in the heat of the moment than a well planned out romantic confession.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack

Now with him, things are a little more complicated. He has what I like to call "villain complex", where he truly and genuinely believes himself to be an awful, disgusting and vile person. Hell, not even a person - a demon. He lacks any kind of good opinion about himself, so when he realizes (quite fast, at that) that he has feelings for you? He feels offended on your behalf. To have a monster, an abomination like him be in love with you, something so good and pure in his eyes, is like the ultimate offense to him. So, he won't act on his feelings. Honestly, he'll even hope that you manage to get with someone else so he can know you're genuinely, truly happy and move on. It's very plausible you two won't ever end up together. Unless you decide to take matters into your own hands, that is.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Laughing Jack

Jack is a little bit of a wild card. He naturally has a flirty personality, so you won't know that he's serious unless he decides to tell you, which he probably won't for a good long while yet. That's because, unless he tells you about it, he doesn't actually have anything to lose. His main fear is that you'll be disgusted by those feelings he has, disgusted by him, and decide to leave him just like everyone else did. It's not even rejection that he's so afraid of, it's abandonment. So, while he has one of the easiest times accepting his feelings, he'll be one of the worst when it comes to acting on them.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky

Pretty similar to Jeff, but also complete opposites in some ways. While he is extra mean to you because you make him feel vulnerable, it's also because he's hyper aware of what he's feeling towards you. He's a grown man, he knows attraction when he feels it, sexual or romantic, but that doesn't make him hate it any less. Unlike Jeff who's an asshole as a way of flirting, Tim is an asshole to get you to hate him. If you just despise him, his feelings should technically go away as well, so that's what he's aiming at. He already has enough problems in his life, a "silly little crush" (as he calls it) isn't another one that he needs or wants to deal with. Again, if you want things to go further, you'll have to take matters into your own hands.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Hoodie

Smooth ass motherfucker. Like Masky, knows what the feelings are right away, but has no fear in acting on them. And he's super fucking good at it. He sees love as one of the many pleasures of life, something meant to be enjoyed, so he's not going to shy away from it. He'll shower you in every love language known to man, this guy absolutely knows what he's doing. He's not even insecure that you might reject him, he knows he's a catch and you know what? He's not wrong. So it won't take him long at all to confess in the most chill but romantic way possible, like it's not even a big deal (which, to him, really isn't).

[reallyromealone]

Title: ducky

Fandom: hazbin hotel

Pairing: Lucifer x reader

Warnings: reader is Jessica rabbit coded, make reader, sexual themes, reader hates Valentino, softcore nsfw, crack treated seriously, Lucifer is a simp, reader cross dresses, reader wears lipstick, the word daddy

Notes: the amount of rewrites boy howdy

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

After every show, (name) had gifts waiting from fans.

Flowers, expensive jewelry and other things were always there but one thing always stuck out to him, an adorable rubber duck dressed like him, wearing an adorable version of the show he did previously. Todays was his pink dress, the jazz singer loved cross dressing and it seemed his admirer noticed every detail of his outfits... It had him swooning! "Oh the note!" He said looking for the rose gold paper with black ink, another joke that was corny and wishing him a good day... Oh he was so wonderful!

It was the best part of his day, really it was.

Before this, his eternity was always so drab... Singing his songs and nothing of interest happening.

"It's time" one of his security guards said seriously and (name) nodded, placing the duck in his suit pocket before leaving with the men and out the back area of the club where the limo was waiting for him.

Not before catching eyes with the one person be despised and was sadly obsessed with him, Valentino smirked as he stepped out of the limo across the street as (name) got into his own faster, not wanting to deal with him especially after a performance. He couldn't stand that moth! The demon had been obsessed with (name) for years along with his little picture box friend, he remembered when they sent him molds of their erections! Disgusting!

(Name) Made sure his driver left faster, not wanting to deal with that man any more than he needed to.

"Your father requested your presence" the driver said to (name) who looked passive "what for?" He asked as a smile found its way in his face as the driver explained about some project the demon was partaking in and wanted (name)s help, the jazz demon excited to see what was taking all his father's time these days "then let's go see, shall we?"

(Name) Was not expecting some hotel on the edge of town "Hazbin hotel?" He mumbled curiously as he walked into the hotel, his driver going on his break and (name) wasn't expecting his father to be arguing with a small blond man "papa?" He asked with a passive Expression, where Alastor smiled (name) kept passive "(name)! There you are!" Alastor said dismissing the other immediately to walk to his son "how was your show little one?" He asked his son who let out a soft huff, amused "it was quite well, what's this shindig?" He gestured to the group of people and his dad grinned.

"I have someone for you to meet"

Everyone knew who (name) was, he was on every billboard across pentagram city and Angel dust knew how obsessed Vox and Valentino were with him, throwing tantrums whenever their wooing attempts went south.

But what they didn't know was that (name) was Alastors son.

"Wait son?! Sinners can't procreate?" Charlie asked curiously as Alastor laughed robotically "he was my son when I was alive, sadly I died when he was little--"'--and I was raised by grandma!" (Name) Continued and they were curious on how (name) was in hell but decided not to prod on that and now that they looked at them, they could see the resemblances.

Height being a main one, (name) just a bit shorter than his dad.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, now why am I here?" He asked his father curiously and the radio demon grinned wider "well you see, we need someone to notice this place and what better than the most popular jazz singer in this place!" Alastor said merrily and (name) raised an eyebrow but sighed "I will on a condition" Charlie was vibrating with excitement as she nodded "whatever you want!"

"I'm looking for someone, I don't know who they are but I have a few clues" (name) pulled out the notes and the duck from his pockets "this person botherin' ya?" Husk asked suspiciously and (name) shook his head "quite the opposite actually!" Charlie and Alastor looked at each other and then the rubber duck in realization as Lucifer looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"Dad, is that your duck?" (Name) Drew his attention to the now panicking fallen angel who looked back at (name) stressed out "I think we should talk" (name) said to the blond man who followed nervously, the two going off somewhere as everyone processed what just happened.

"I can expla--" (name) stopped him with a kiss, gently holding Lucifer's face and his thumbs stroking his cheekbones before pulling back "I uh, I don't understand?" Lucifer said dumbly and (name) grinned "I never got a chance to tell you how my day was, awful rude doll~" he whispered to Lucifer and smiled at the smudged red lipstick from his performance on Lucifer's lips "s-so does this mean...?"

"Oh darling, I'm not gonna let you go... But I gotta ask, what's your name? Or should I just call you ducky?" (Name) Teased the other who looked incredibly flustered "maybe baby? Or daddy?" He teased and Lucifer was deeply confused at how this walking sex symbol was related to fucking Alastor but the kiss he was being pulled back into made him forget it all.

"They have been there awfully long" Charlie fretted and Angel dust snorted "he's related to smiles over there, god knows what's happening"

"I'm gonna check on them" she said nervously and Alastor followed, fatherly instincts kicking in as they went to the room the two wandered off too, hearing gasps and grunts and the sound of something knocking over. In a panic Charlie opened the door and Angel dust couldn't hold his laughter at Alastor and Charlie's horrified faces at the scene before them.

(Name) On-top of Lucifer with his suit half off his body and Lucifer was no better with an exposed chest and unbuttoned pants connected to (names) full lack of pants, Lucifer sporting Hickey's and red lipstick all over his body.

"DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM?!" Lucifer was exasperated as the two quickly put themselves together and Charlie was traumatized at the fact she saw her dad... Like that.

[pradaax]

Shameless

Choi San x Reader 18+

Is it bad to sleep with someone your father despises with every cell in his body?

Was this wrong? 100%

Why aren't you stopping him? Why aren't you pushing him away? Why did it have to be him?

His rough yet warm hands running all over your body, his mouth on your skin latching and kissing, the limo was filled of lewd sounds and words. His dark eyes made sure to never tear away from yours. If you dare break eye contact he would only slam into you harder and harder until your eyes met again.

"Go on, say it." He groaned, his hands gripping onto your hips making sure you didn't move an inch away from him.

You couldn't even form words and when you tried to the only thing that escaped was unholy whines. Your red nails were deeply digging into his shoulders making him let out a wince. His fingers wrapped themselves around your neck gripping ever so tightly. You couldn't help but let out an ungodly moan.

"Death and pleasure mix quite well, don’t you think so?" The evil smirk appeared on his face, his hand almost crushing your windpipe taking you into a fog. Your eyes didn't leave him even when he was blurred and you no longer had a clear vision due to the tears forming in your eyes.

Your breath shortened by the second while his thrusts got deeper and harder. The fog was completely taking over. "S-San..." You whined out lightly twitching. Your hand made its way to his wrist as the other one started to drag on his toned chest. San let out a dark chuckle seeing the mess you were under him.

"Clo-Close!" You managed to yell out, he went faster. His free hand smacking your tit, he lightly gasped when he felt your walls clench around him.

Everything felt so good you were literally about to pass out from pleasure. "Cum for me, sweetheart." That was all it took for you to finish on his swollen length, San pulled out jerking himself as his free hand tugged on your hair pulling you up, you knew what he exactly wanted.

You fell on your knees in front of him and took him in your warm mouth. He wasted no time in shoving it down your throat causing you to let out a gag as saliva ran down your chin. He twitched in your mouth before releasing his load. He pulled out and noticed you were getting ready to spit it out but stopped you by tugging your hair back and shoving 2 fingers down your throat. "Swallow, all of it." You didn't fight it and did so.

"Good." San praised taking his fingers out. The said man lightly tapped your cheek before he started to put on his boxers and pants.

“I hope your daddy doesn’t get too mad with you being late.” A playful smirk made it’s way to his lips knowing that if your father found out about this he would set San on fire without a second thought.

“If he knew you were balls deep in me you can say goodbye to this life.” You stated watching him light up the cigarette he placed between his lips. “Maybe if he wasn’t so pissed about you not agreeing on working with him then everything would be fine.” You continued making the male almost snort out a laugh, his eyes landed on you.

“I will never work with someone like your father, darling you already know this. I’m against everything he says and does.” San informed leaning back on the seat.

“But you’re not against fucking his daughter?” You raised a brow snatching the hanging cigarette from his lips. He watched as you inhaled the smoke then blew it out his way. “Didn’t his daughter come on to me?” His brows pinched together as he grabbed your wrist taking the ill stick back.

You couldn’t fight the fact, it was completely true, you were the one who started this whole thing. You had a thing for always going against your father whenever an argument happened and on that day you saw how pissed he was when San declined his offer of becoming a partner but that wasn’t the reason why he was pissed it was the fact that San knew every dirty secret about your old man and when he started to spill them out that got to your father.

After San left the office you followed shorty behind him and stepped inside the car. He thought you had chased after him to change his mind but he was completely wrong. You just wanted to do him. That was only a month ago.

“So, do I only get to see you when you’re mad at daddy?” He licked his lips watching you slip on the short dress followed by the fluffy coat. You grabbed your phone still not answering the man sitting beside you, turning it on you saw how visible his fingerprints on your neck were.

“What’s the point of fucking without a reason?” You answered his question with another question. San clicked his tongue still staring at you as you fixed your makeup and hair.

“You know,” He grabbed the back of your neck pulling you closer to him, you softly winced due to the sudden tight grip. “One day you will end up dead and I would love to see the look on his face.” The aura had shifted, you saw the dark look in his eyes but you weren’t even close to being afraid yet the way he spoke still sent shivers down your spine.

“Sadly you won't be able to see that day.” It was your turn to have a smirk on your face. You opened your purse pulling out the pistol, he didn’t flinch at all.

“Darling, it hurts me to see that you don’t trust me and feel the need to have that on you.”

You ignored him placing the pistol on his head as you sat yourself on his lap. “You were a good fuck but I can’t let my father find out when I’m so close to having the company, now bye bye.” You laughed pulling down the safety.

“Our story doesn’t end like this.”

Shameless

[thatfrailsoul]

– Parts of me that I seek in you

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

When we strive to connect, to know someone... There are many different reasons for which our heart calls more for one person than the other. The appearance, the ways, their mind or heart, their actions or deepest goals and desires... No matter what it is, there is always that something that makes them shine in the darkness that surrounds us. And, very often, that something is the same as the one that we lost, can't find in ourselves... So we desperately look for it in others. With such perseverance and obsessive need that, sometimes, we allow it to lead us to those that perhaps, at the end, we would've preferred to not meet.

So what is it? What you miss in yourself but so desperately need? Where or when did you lose it? And where and how can you finally find that missing piece?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, so similar to what you feel. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

– Pile One,

the star, the ten of cups and the fool.

Your poor and innocent soul... Your tired heart, your consumed mind... The only thing you ever wanted, the one that you wanted back then, was simply to leave it all behind. All that pain, all that fear. All the reasons why you couldn't ever be enough or right for someone, for anyone, that for once you just desired to don't hear... You found the last bits of your strength, patience and courage, all that remained in your shattered heart. And you used them to try to heal. All those numerous wounds, so many that it just feels like a whole and single, draining, torturing, one.

But what did it give you, in exchange of this incredible resilience to try to heal? Only a little relief, a little distraction... That hid that hole that was becoming bigger and bigger, with each time that you worked on - or to be exact forced - the healing of your soul.

And this is the thing. This is what ruined it all, what made it so difficult and challenging. What influenced so many others areas of your life... One little but so important detail about who you are, the way you are. And how much you got used in this life to beat yourself up, blaming for every single disgrace that you experienced... How often you repeated it, demonstrated it to yourself with every step that was supposed to help you heal. You never were gentle, patient, understanding. You never gave yourself credit for how many right things and choices you made. Or how many others mistakes never were really yours, but of somebody else. You did none of this. But only focused on rushing, on becoming better, on healing faster, growing, so you could be sooner worthy and ready to show what a good person you are to this world. You were angry, frustrated, ashamed. You despised yourself for needing healing and learning in the first place. You regretted every single additional day that you needed to get it together. Only noticing how many flows you still have, how many wounds are still bleeding, how many triggers you still can't endure.

Your desire, your intention, was so good... So innocent, genuine and truly right. But so quickly and scarily naturally it became just another cage and punishment that you gave yourself. Changing the whole purpose, the whole meaning, of a journey that is so pure. That was never supposed to be so rushed, give you so quickly those results that now you are so angry to don't see manifesting in your world... And that you decided, unconsciously or perhaps not, to look for in others. The ones that seem so beautiful, so healthy and whole. The ones that seem to go through life so gracefully, no matter the obstacles or challenges on their path. The ones that seem to be able to influence you so positively, if only you stay close to them, showing you the right ways and directions. Supporting you, helping you in doing it correctly, like you seem incapable of doing on your own.

But, no matter how much we adore to think the opposite, we indeed are the only ones responsible for our journey. For our battles, our victories or our loss. No matter how supportive, how close others are, they still can't really help us. Not when we don't allow even our own self to do the needed work. You can't fight through it, not this journey. You can't do it with the only motivation and push being your own meanness, judgment and resentement for the things that you dared to do or not. You can't be there, behind your own back, looking closely at every your step and action, ready to attack if you don't do it right.

But you can allow yourself to take more time. To be slower. To make more mistakes. To feel once again that pain, if it's the one that still overwhelms your heart. You can remember. You can reflect. Learn something from it. Or maybe not. Because it is normal, it is right, to take time to heal, to go through it with all the needed ups and downs.

And you can still do it. You can continue this journey changing your pace and rhythm, or simply starting from scratch. You can and need to do it. Because no-one else can help and guide you, as you can do to your own self. By being gentle and understanding with your heart and mind, that indeed do their best to allow you to feel and experience this life.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the magician, the fool and the page of swords

You have something so beautiful, so unique, within yourself. Such passion that, if not explored and shared, can consume you inevitably. Consume that power that you sometimes forget to have. So you always took care of it. You always nourished it. In the moments when it felt as natural as breathing, and even in those where it was too similar to a torture, that need to create and do something but without any idea on why, how to start or from where. And even if, thanks to you and your deepest love, this passion and calling did survive... It is starting to fade now. Submerged with all the questions and doubts about whether or not it is worth it, if you are good enough to do it at all, if it is really that important... All because for quite sometime you were the only admirer and supporter of your work.

You are wavering, your steps and actions as you create become more and more unstable, as every inspiration or idea seems not enough to be worthy of the success, even just appreciation that you want. But this something... Is so yours, so made perfectly just for you and to express your soul... That you can't really just leave it. You can't just stop doing it, even if it is becoming hard to be satisfied as you used to, because you so naturally always gravitate back to creating and allowing your mind and heart to speak up through every step of your work. So you keep going, with a non consistent rhythm, many set backs, infinite doubts... Doing it, because you feel this need and desire so much. But not really enjoying it anymore. Because in the eyes of others it never seems good enough, and therefore it doesn't feel enough for your own self. For the one that, in the first place, you were supposedly creating it for.

It is so natural and normal to have the desire to share, to welcome others in your universe in a sense, to show them who you are or how you see this world... But what starts so innocently and genuinely, a way to connect to others and don't feel so different or not understood, an alternative type of motivation and fuel for your creativity even... is so often soon to become exactly what kills it, overwhelming your every idea with the judgment of others, and their way of seeing the world.

It just shifted your perspective, about yourself and your work. It made you feel little, insignificant, too simple or too much, confronted to what others seem to consider deserving and worthy of their attention and love. It made you feel useless, because when your creation was ignored, you felt like what was really being rejected was your soul that spoke through your work.

And time after time, day after day, this calling became so faint, almost non existent. Not because it is really going away... But because you are just the one that tries so desperately to ignore it and to not hear it. Convinced that following it would be useless, without anyone appreciating and admiring what you do. Convinced that doing it for your own self and enjoyment is not really worth it, because it doesn't give you any income, any fame, any support and appreciation from others. Convinced that it is only and simply a waste of time.

But is it? Is it really completely useless if you are the only one to whom you dedicate the creations of your soul? Or does it give you a chance to feel and experience this world in your own way, processing those emotions and thoughts, reinventing them? Does it give you back the ability to breathe and feel at ease, once you allow everything that overwhelms you flow out through your work? Does it fill your time with excitement and enjoyment? Does it give you a safe place, that allows you to rest and hide from everything else? Does it make you feel proud of who you are and what you did, what you were able to create with your own mind and hands? Because even if it does only one of these things... Than it is worth it. Because this is what gives you the energy and fuel to live this life, to appreciate it, to go through it. Having something that always protects and expresses your soul.

You can't do only what assures you the interest or appreciation of others. You can't do it for so long as you are planning or trying to do. You can't do it without constantly feeling on autopilot, thrown from one work to another, trying to satisfy every one of them in hopes that in return they will support your work. It is not true to you. It is not what you want or need. It is not even something that you can do, the things that they want. It is only a play, of which you are trying to learn all the phrases and rhythm, but that you can keep up with only for so long.

This life is not unfair, wrong, useless, a constant and neverending annoying and painful cycle. But it is this way for you, who doesn't have anymore that tiny but vital component - the language of your soul. You are suppressing it, you are limiting it and judging. For what? For whom? For what reason? This is not something that needs to be enough or good for others. It is not something that needs to give you incredible success, wealth or recognition. It can, but before any of that it needs only to be something that you enjoy. Truly and simply.

You don't need to find new ideas, ways, hobbies, interests, sports, studies, paths to explore - you just need to comeback to what you already know that you love. And welcome it in your Iife, starting doing it again and more. Just for your own fun and enjoyment, that will overflow from your heart to every other aspect of your life. Connecting everything, and making it free from the torture of unsatisfaction and frustration that you endure.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the devil, the justice and the star

Sometimes we cross paths with those that perhaps we weren't meant to be with, we weren't meant to create and have the same story as the one we desired and pictured so well. It happens. It hurts. Then, eventually, it goes away. But when it happens again and again, one person after another... One betrayal, lie or misunderstanding after the other... How can one not notice the one element that connects them all - themselves? How can one not think, even in the slightest, that perhaps it is not working out because of who and how they are?

So one dives into it, tries to remember every single moment, analyse their own ways, with the desperate need to find that wrong something and change it, making everything in themselves right again. With the need to demonstrate that it is something that can be changed and that it won't be this way forever. That they can and will be better, more worthy, more right, and for this reason chosen by someone. And perhaps they do find it, that something, they work on it day and night, fight their own demons and who they are, and come out of it brand new. They put themselves out there, open up to people and try genuinely to connect... And then it happens all over again. The same pain, confusion, uncertainty, doubts, betrayal or a broken heart. But they did the work right? They changed, or did they not? And there it goes the fear of not being worthy no matter what, of being destined to loneliness and hurt, or perhaps of not doing enough. And some collapse, they hide, and try with all their forces to make themselves enough, to not need anyone else in their life. While others... Others don't say it out loud. Don't think about it. Hide it deep down. And try to make things work no matter what it means to accept and endure, just to not have yet another person leaving them behind.

And you... You are doing it right now. With them, or with others in your life. Subtly, unconsciously, you force yourself to stay. No matter the words you hear, the actions you see, the promises that you know are already broken and mean nothing to the person by your side. You stay. Because walking away might mean that there never will be someone else, that you will be the only one you will have.

It is difficult and painful to think about being somehow different and wrong, never enough. It is even more difficult to try to work on it and change yourself. It is difficult to face not only the pain but also the loneliness. To feel that fear of living this way forever creeping on you with each day. So staying, trying to be more understanding, patient, docile, considerate, delicate, silent and comfortable for others... Seems indeed less difficult and scary, because in return they too will stay. Even when it is clear that you are torturing and consuming yourself. Even when you so clearly and surely know that the way you are treated is not okay at all. All for that acceptance, that tiny affection, even if not genuine. All for those things that you think you will never be able to find in yourself, and might not find once the people that are now in your life will not be here anymore. A void that, perhaps, won't ever be filled with another person, with another connection or love.

But by convincing yourself to adapt to others and what they look for or don't love... You did exactly that one thing that will not allow people who are genuinely interested in you to come closer. Not when that place in your life is already occupied by another someone. Not when you show so ardently and persistently that the way you are treated is what you want.

A right person - the one that is interested in you exactly the way you are, not less not more - even when so close to you to see you... Will never be able to do something, to help you, to take you out of this play pretend and torture... Because no one can do what should start from you, what you should be ready to finally to do: to protect yourself, t be treated right, to be loved and appreciated for the way you are.

It is safe, please believe me. It is safe for you to be who you are. It is safe for you to don't accept scraps of love and attention from others. It is safe if you walk away from those who can't find that one thing they want in you, who is already perfectly fine and enough. It is safe for you to don't force it. It is safe for you to let them all go. Because the space they will leave behind them is not something so negative as you convince yourself to be. It is not a sign of loss. It is only more space for your own self to grow, to bloom, to be who you are. To shine so proudly and brightly and to be seen by those who will notice and love you. And not the ways you can adapt to someone elses need, desire or mood.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

_

[recreationalfanfics]

Twisted Wonderland x Lab Rats Crossover HCs

The world's first bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us. Faster. Smarter.

The next generation of the human race is-

STUCK IN TWISTED WONDERLAND?!

Because I'm hyperfixtaited and love making crossovers, I've decided to make a crossover where YOU can choose which Davenport sibling you want to be and what dorm you'd be sorted in and what your life would be like as a bionic human in Twisted Wonderland. The reader will be using gender neutral pronouns but if I overlooked some please let me know!

Feel free to send in asks or questions about this AU!

Before We Get Started:

- Ace and Deuce are still your very first besties and are the ones who meet you first.

- Grim is your precious kitty and still calls you his bionic henchuman and definetly uses you to get out of situations he got himself stuck in.

- I'm sorry but Crowley is so Donald Davenport coded so you're not as surprised or annoyed by his narcissistic tendencies.

- You've been here at NRC for a while, as a result, Ignihyde managed to build you a bionic recharge chamber in Ramshackle.

- I haven't finished book 7 yet so pls keep that in mind.

- I'm rewatching the show currently but I'm not following any specific timeline.

Adam Davenport! Reader:

- The thembo of your siblings and now, of NRC.

- Okay, but imagine that you see your little brother, Leo, in Ace and Deuce. Ace obviously reminding you of Leo's more mischievous and clever side and Deuce reminding you of his more well-natured and clumsy side. As for Grim, HE'S LIKE THE PET YOU NEVER GOT TO HAVE.

- The fact that you're living at a school is your worst nightmare though. Trien and Crewel have you absolutely stressed😭 During studying sessions, Ace and Deuce get somewhat annoyed with you but they do know it doesn't come easy so they help you study by explaining it to you the same way they would to a five year old.

- But, thanks to your awesome durability that you keep hidden from teachers, if you guys ever feel unprepared for a test then you just casually fall down the stairs and Ace and Deuce act all worried for your safety and BRAVELY volunteer to skip class. However, you kept using it as an excuse a bit too often much to Ace and Deuce's dismay so they eventually caught on.

- You are the BANE of Riddle's existence, you have no regard for the rules AND you aren't able to be collared. Much like how it is with Floyd, Riddle openly despises you but unlike Floyd, YOU DON'T CATCH ON THAT HE DISLIKES YOU. Which makes him feel guilty and puts him at an impasse.

- Since Riddle's collars only work on people with magic, imagine that you can just rip it off with your bionic strength. When Riddle first used his unique magic on you, Ace and Deuce were in ramshackle when you walked in with one of the collars on.

Ace: "OH NO, RIDDLE PUT A COLLAR ON Y/N!"

You: "Haha, guys, check out this dope friendship necklace Riddle gave me! I'm gonna take it off and put it somewhere safe! AW, MAN, I BROKE IT....I'm gonna ask me to make another one!" and then they have to stop you.

- LOWKEY, SAVANNACLAW IS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR YOU. The other guys love having you there but also, they will be nicer to other students because you are still a hero after all. When you see them messing with other people, you lift them up and put them in air jail.

- You're like Leona's little court jester ngl. While you're not a complete idiot, you're pretty foolish and it can get entertaining for a while but when you get a bit too destructive, he will have Ruggie escort you out. He likes to take naps on you, though, especially because if someone disturbs him then you shoot a warning shot with your laser vision and are all: "SHHH! The kitty is sleeping!" But if Grim chooses to kick Leona out of your lap, you 100% obey your favorite kitty.

- Jack is your one-sided rival. He wants to be just as strong as you and demands to train with you. He even tries to copy your work out regimen and kinda stalks you to try and learn how you're so strong but then he sees you casually lifting up the sports shack for Vargas.

- BRO, AZUL WOULD 100% TRY TO PUT YOU IN A CONTRACT. A strong bionic superhuman with laser vision AND the ability to breathe underwater whose incredibly stupid and naive? It's like you were sent to him by the Seven themselves. So Ace, Deuce, and Grim and your other friends have to steer you away from him.

- Azul: "Y/N?~ Would you be interested in a deal!"

- You: "Yeah, sure! Just let me finish my applesauce."

- Ace: "Y/N, NO! You're not allowed to make deals with Azul, he's a shady businessman, remember?"

- You: "Ooooh, okay. Sorry then, but I can't."

- Floyd: "Silly Tiger Shrimp, it's opposite day!~"

- You: "Okay! Sorry guys, I have to make a deal with Azul- Wait, I mean NOT make a deal with Azul! Hehe~"

- KALIM IS IN AWE OF YOUR STRENGTH, Jamil thinks that you're a clumsy and reckless fool and he doesn't trust you around Kalim. Like, Kalim was talking about how Jamil is so awesome at basketball and in awe of how high he jumps so you're all: "Haha, wanna see what it's like?" and Jamil walked in on you THROWING THE HEIR OF THE AL-ASIM FAMILY AT A HOOP.

- Jamil: "KALIM, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?"

- Kalim, on the ground: "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

- You're not allowed in Scarabia without supervision, nevermind that you have to be a certain distance away from Kalim because JAMIL REFUSES TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.

- YOU ARE EPEL'S HERO, HE TOTALLY LOVES HEARING YOUR STORIES ABOUT SAVING YOUR WORLD AND THINKS YOU'RE AMAZING. Like, Vil is forcing you to sit down for a makeover and you're all: "Oh, this is like the time I had to sit still to get ready for my interview after stopping an asteroid from hitting the planet." and Epel is all: "AWESOME!" and Rook is next to you and is all: "Tell us more about this enchanting tale, mon cœur brave!~" and Vil is trying to stop you from eating make up.

- I'm sorry but Epel would so try to convince you to throw Plasma Grenades at Vil when he's overblotted😭 and he's all: "What!? I'm sure it won't hurt him that bad!"

- During book 6, YOU ACTUALLY DON'T THINK IDIA'S FAMILY HQ IS THAT CREEPY and you feel so nostalgic. Like, they go through the sanitation station and you're all: "Aw, this reminds me of my capsule back at my dad's lab in his basement...I miss my dad...and Bree and Leo and Tasha...and beating up Chase...AND CHASE!"

- But when you're fighting the other overblot monsters, that's when you show how much of a competent hero you are. You're protecting everyone and keeping them safe, as well as doing your best to keep the monsters away as your fellow classmates try to recharge the thunder spears.

- Idia would totally want to uncover your bionic biology to see if he could improve upon Ortho and you're just there like: "WOAH. At least take a bionic person out to dinner first before you ask to dissect them, man-" and Idia just being all flustered.

- YOU AND ORTHO being technogically advanced buddies, obviously there's huge differences between you guys but YOU AND HIM JUST HAVING SLEEPOVERS AND IT'S JUST YOUR CHARGING PODS BEING IN THE SAME ROOM. Anyways, he totally brings out the older sibling instincts with you and Idia kinda tolerates you and your thembo ways.

- MALLEUS THINKS YOU'RE SO FUNNY and he just laughs when you say something foolish but Sebek is all: "STAY AWAY FROM LORD MALLEUS, your ignorance is an insult to his majesty!" and you just kinda wanna bully him a little bit because he reminds you of Chase but in a bad way. When Silver falls asleep, you just carrying him around and stuff because he's your friend! Lillia also finds you amusing as well ngl, you're such a spirit young individual.

Chase Davenport! Reader:

- OKAY, BUT YOU LOWKEY PANICKED AT THE REALIZATION OF NOT BEING IN YOUR WORLD. Not only because you're in a strange and totally unfamiliar world but BECAUSE YOU'RE NO LONGER THE SMARTEST PERSON.

- Ace and Deuce during the detention thing were just staring at you weirdly as you read and try to get as much information on the world of Twisted Wonderland as much as possible. Grim literally having to sit on all of your books or swat them out of your hands.

- Even though you respect and like rules, you think that the ones in Heartslabyul are kind of excessive but YOU STUDY THEM REGARDLESS because you will not be caught lacking. So when Ace and Deuce come to you and they're collared, you're all: "Ha, let me guess, you forgot to take your shoes and wear them around your neck today, huh? Amateurs." and they just glare at you or roll your eyes.

- Despite that, as an experienced team leader, you can somewhat influence the Adeuce doubt and Grim to listen to you and they do respect you to some degree when you're not being a know it all. GRIM WILL BRAG ABOUT HOW SMART YOU ARE and try to convince you to let him copy your work and you're all: "Grim, when you cheat, you're only cheating yourself." and he just hisses at you and you roll your eyes.

- Tbh, I love the idea that when Riddle went through his Overblot, you were using your bionic supervision to analyze the threat but then Ace punched Riddle and you're all: "Oh, okay, that works too, I guess."

- While Adam! (Y/n) would fight the Overblots, your concern would lie in protecting your fellow students so you tell Adeuce and Grim and any other students to come close to you and you activate your force field to protect you and them.

- During the whole Savannaclaw thing, you were the first to figure out about Leona's whole plan but you were quickly humbled when he Overblotted. When he's done, you and him bond about being younger brothers with older brothers. TO BE FAIR, Leona admits that you have it worse because Falena doesn't constantly throw him around.

- Also, if you have a sensory overload because of your enhanced senses; I can totally see Savannaclaw kind of having a room to calm down because, like, they're Beatmen. You don't necessarily like Savannaclaw but they do think your martial arts skills are cool.

- DURING THE EVENTS OF BOOK 3 IS WHEN YOU ACTIVATE YOUR COMMANDO MODE and everyone meets your alter ego, Spike. Like, Floyd is threatening you and your commando app takes over and you and him duke it out. When you finally take control, Floyd is all: "WE HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN, DWARF SHRIMPY! THAT WAS SO FUN!" and you're confused while Jade is all: "Huh, who knew Bionic Humans can be so interesting and complex!"

- But yeah, while Azul took you as a fool, you do a very good job at finding loopholes and mistakes in his contracts to help people out of them. Which he would find respectable but sadly, that's bad for business. So much like he does with Jamil, HE WOULD SO WANT YOU TO JOIN OCTAVINELLE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. IMAGINE THE PROFITS.

- During Schemer of the Scalding Sands, you totally agree with Jamil and sympathize with the fact that he never got to have a normal childhood. HOWEVER, he is still doing bad things and as a hero, you can't excuse that behavior. I can see you guys being good friends and bonding with each other.

- ALSO, Chase was always awkward girls so imagine that you're awkward around pretty people in general. Like, you meet Vil and your brain short circuits and you're all: "H-Hi!" or you'll be explaining things and Vil is all: "Davenport, I need you to help me with something!" and you just turn around to face him and you're all: "...Y-Yeah, sure! Okay! Wow, your eyes are so pretty-" You also totally agree with his perfectionism and not just because he's the most jaw dropping person you've ever seen but also because you're a perfectionist yourself.

- YOU'D BE IN THE SCIENCE CLUB WITH ROOK AND TREY. Mostly to learn about the amazing science of this new world but also, you show off a bit of science of your own. Trey is super impressed by your knowledge of chemistry and Rook is their like: "Oh, how does one become as smart and charming as you?" and then you just giggle and blush and you're all: "Haha. You don't mean that~...Do you?"

- LIKE THE REGULAR CHASE, YOU'RE ALSO A HUGE CUTIE. You would totally love to watch cartoons and play pranks on people except they're completely harmless pranks. Jade will do something to annoy you and you'll be all:

Y/n: "Jade might think he got the best of me but little does he know, I'll get the last laugh!"

Ace: "I've never seen this side of you before, Y/n. What'd you do?"

Y/n: "I switched his No. 2 pencil with a number 1 pencil. LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE SMUDGED NOTES, LEECH. CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE!?"

- And all of the first years just look at you and leave you hanging and you frown and you're all: "See, its perfect because No.1 pencils are higher in graphite and much softer, so they're more prone to smudging-" and they're all: "No, (Y/n), we get it. It's still stupid."

- I can see you hanging out in the Ignihyde dorm, mostly because they have all the resources needed to try and figure out how to get back home but also, I can imagine that after a few months of coaxing and bonding with Idia, you guys would become friends due to your love for your siblings and your awkward ways.

- I CAN TOTALLY IMAGINE YOU AND HIM GAMING WITH LILIA, aka, Muscle Red. I can also see that Ortho would adore seeing you and his brother getting along, until you both sneak out of gym together to go and play your video games.

- I love the idea that you would love to listen to Malleus talk about gargoyles and you'd look up things with your supercomputer brain. You also would love your guys' walks because he can talk to you and inform you more about the magic in your world and you can talk to him about the science in yours. Your mind is still getting used to the idea of magic but Malleus would totally love to see your views on everything.

- SEBEK THINKS YOU'RE AN INSOLENT HUMAN, how dare you think your stupid human brain can match to that of the Great Malleus!? But he does admire your dedication to knowledge. SILVER SOMETIMES DOZES OFF WHEN YOU TALK but you're used to it and sigh but Silver tries to assure you it wasn't because he was bored.

Bree Davenport! Reader:

- Much like the ICON that is Bree Davenport, you will 100% sass back Crowley. He has to ask advice from Mozus on how to approach you since he's handled sassy teenagers before but that knowledge is sadly limited when it comes to BIONIC sassy teenagers.

- Not to mention that you're very maliciously compliant with him. When he asks you to run an errand and tries to imply he'll turn off Ramshackle's electricity if you don't, you just roll your eyes and go do it. But NOT BEFORE YOU TRASH HIS OFFICE WITH YOUR SPEED.

- When it comes to Grim, you totally decorate him with cute little bows and pamper him but you guys also exchange witty comebacks and retorts once in a while.

- ACE WOULD LOVE TO PIGGY BACK RIDE YOU SO HE'S NOT LATE TO CLASSES. At first, you did it out of the kindness of your heart but when he kept trying to trick you or guilt trip you, you ended up just dropping him off on the opposite side of campus from his classes. He was made but Deuce defended you.

- You're a little bit of a romantic as well, sometimes bordering on delulu but to be fair; you were raised in a basement and occasionally allowed to watch high school musical dramas. And being sent to a magical all-boys college is a dream come true!

- Until you have to deal with overblots and the very real possibility of innocent people dying, then you're just reminded that this world isn't SUPER different from your other world but being a hero is a never-ending job.

- You don't really get along with Riddle but you and Cater would be such good friends, you carry him to take him to places he said would be so "magicamable" and you turn invisible and listen in on all of the juicy gossip so you can report back to him and you two can giggle about it.

- You would 100% be able to tame the rowdy Savnnaclaw students because size doesn't scare you. You would be a little bit of a simp for Leona because he fits your type and he gets kind of annoyed by it but when you go back to your usual sassy and fiery self, he does kind of think twice.

- As for Jack, he admires your speed and likes joining you on runs. You happily let him know whether he's getting faster than you or not, even if he knows it's not achievable to be as fast as you, you do a good job of helping him monitor his progress. He reminds you of a smarter more competent version of Adam!

- You and Ruggie would team up to sometimes do small jobs, only if he handles the gross stuff just because you personally can't, but delivery jobs are up your alley because of your speed and you guys split the profits.

- Speaking of profits, AZUL WOULD LOVE TO TRAP YOU IN A CONTRACT TO WORK AT THE MONSTRO LOUNGE. When you briefly took Ace and Deuce's place to work, you were a one person serving machine. Getting impatient when dishes weren't done fast enough, you ran in the kitchen and took care of everything yourself.

- However, he now tries to make it not so obvious because the last time he did, you created an tornado with your super speed and shot him and his creepy twins from it. Floyd thought it was the coolest thing ever and begs you to do it again, while Jade pretended to sniffle as he mourned about how, "rude bionic humans are to poor eels like them."

- As for Scarabia, after Jamil sends you guys into the dessert and they have to make an oasis, you're just there like, "So...I'm going to just speed my way back to the dorm. Meet you guys there!" and then you're off.

- I DO THINK YOU'D BE IN THE POP MUSIC CLUB WITH KALIM, CATER, AND LILLIA. So after the events of book 4, you do kinda make sure Kalim doesn't put so much on Jamil. Such as throwing a party and you help him with the decorations instead so Jamil can have a break or, at the very least, you handle the clean up yourself.

- Also, you're not as surprised as everyone else is when Kalim decides to forgive him, purely because your uncle/father was forgiven from killing you and your family multiple times.

- OKAY BUT YOU WOULD SO BE IN POMEFIORE, after all, you've longed to be an ideal sophisticated and classy version of yourself. However, it simply isn't possibly when you're around your brothers who love to mess with you and tease you. So Vil is your go-to when it comes to makeovers and bonding. I'M SORRY BUT BOTH OF YOU BONDING OVER BEING NEPO BABIES *but well deserving nepo-babies* and it's nice to finally have make up without someone EATING IT OR DOING SOME WEIRD SCIENCE THING WITH IT.

- Rook, per usual, will be a freak as always and try to hunt and stalk you like he does with Leona and the other non humans. According to him, you are "the most elegant of prey. With the eyes of a soulful bird and the speed of a gazelle." and you'll use your speed to run away from him but he would totally have a list of places that you would run too and meet you there.

- Like Bree, you always wanted to have a friend that was a girl so you totally mistook Epel as one and that did not bode well for the both of you. Still, you make it up to him and tell him about how being strong and manly isn't really all it's cracked up to be.

- When it comes to Idia, he gets so nervous and flustered around you because you're so...peppy. Whenever you speed into his lab, he gets all nervous and flustered. Sometimes you tease him about being a nerd but you mean it in a loving way. YOU ADORE ORTHO THOUGH. He's such a cute little guy♡

- When fighting overblots, I can imagine you use your super speed to evacuate everyone and use your invisibility to jump out and surprise them at the last second.

[whiskeyskin]

Educating Gale: an intro to hatefucking

Thanks to @waterdeepwhiskey for this especially juicy piece of eye fucking 👀😫

Inspired by a lovely anon from @naughtybg3confessions.. behold dear ones!

Well fuck. This came out real fucking quickly - ha ha. Literally within an evening so apologies for any mistakes!

Premise: (See picture for prompt)

Gale x gn!tav • 18+ • MDNI • E rating

Tav POV, gn!tav, intro to hatefucking, mean, teasing, insults, cruelty to wizards, descriptions of rough sex/overstim/anal/etc, handjob, gn!description of genitals, no kissing, hot and heavy, mild choking, two fingers up to Mystra, consent, checking in

1.3k words

"Just stop fucking talking." Tav growled through their teeth, pushing Gale's robes down his arms as his back hit the wall.

"Excuse me, I think you'll find that one of a Wizard's greatest talents is their comprehensive lexicon," Gale objected, fumbling with Tav's belt, "but our mouths are good for more than just conversation." He added with sinful grin, leaning in for a kiss.

Tav flinched away, scruching their nose as his robes hit the floor, "Uh, no kissing. That's not what this is, Gale." They sneered at him, "We're just letting off some repressed emotion. Pure and simple." Tav stepped out of their camp trousers and swept them out of the way with a flick of their leg.

"I don't understand, then what exactly is this?" Gale asked, breath huffing out unevenly, as Tav attacked his belt buckle, "I thought this was to bury the animosity we've been harbouring for each other. We're clearly not the best of friends, Tav."

They sighed exasperated, apparently hatefucking was not a thing taught in his esteemed Blackstaff Academy.

"This," they began, sliding a hand down the front of his pants and gripping his thick, throbbing cock. Gale gasped and bunched their sleep shirt in his fist, "is just sex, Gale. Nasty, hateful sex."

They began pulsing his tip with two fingers, lightly squeezing against the sensitive part on the underside. Gale moaned and looked down to see them touching him.

"That's not what sex is supposed to be about," he objected, hissing at the sensation, "It's supposed to be about connection, admiration, care. It's supposed to be glorious, not hateful."

"Oh, poor, poor Wizard. You've been kept on a tight leash, huh?" Tav smirked, taking one of his hands and placing it roughly on their throat, "There's so much more to learn. There are many different types of sex. But there's only one I'd like to educate you on right now." Gale swallowed hard, his cock twitching at the sight of his hand wrapped around their neck.

"This is "I don't like you and you don't like me, but I still want to fuck you despite that - because of that" sex. Because because I don't like you, I'll do things to you that I wouldn't do to someone I liked."

Precum began leaking from his slit; it hit Tav low in their belly. Taking it as a non-verbal cue, their grip tightened on his member, and increased in fervour.

"The kind of things that I couldn't do to anyone else."

Gale shuddered and bucked against their palm, consciously bringing desperate hands to push his trousers further down his thighs, to afford Tav more room.

"Like?" He asked, breathless and trembling, his hold returning to their collarbone but not fully gripping.

Tav flicked their tonuge over their bottom lip and roughly gripped his jaw with a swiftness that made him gasp, bringing him an inch from their face.

"Like trapping that pretty, never-ceasing mouth between my thighs and riding it until I was satisfied it wouldn't start talking again." Tav purred with a dagger-sharp edge.

Gale moaned and pressed against their grip on his jaw, trying again to kiss them. He dug his fingertips into their hips deep enough to potentially draw blood, rocking them against him. They swallowed his gruff pants against their lips, as they worked him faster.

Fuck this was hot.

"I'll fuck your face to almost suffocation and I wouldn't care beause I despise you, Gale of Waterdeep."

Gale grunted and huffed, "I detest you.. you.. arsehole." He managed with great difficulty.

"Once more with feeling, dear." Tav jeered, "You can do better than that, surely? With your large.. vocabulary," Tav squeezed his thrumming length and Gale hummed, "I'm sure you can."

They slowed their rhythm against his cock to gently palm him, occasionally swirling the tip.

Gale scowled and twisted his face, gasping for words.

"You're vile and selfish.. and you do things for all the wrong reasons. You'd rather see a reward than do something philanthropic for your fellow man." He threw at them, curling his lip.

Tav scoffed, "Pathetic. I can already see that look into your eyes, Gale." They wound their fingers around his aching member and began pistoning once more. He let out a sharp yell he tried to silence and thud his head back against the wall.

Tav hummed in smug amusement, a wide smirk on their face.

"You're enjoying this. You know you've never felt anything quite like this before. That even though this is wrong and it feels dirty, it feels really. fucking. good." They punctuated their point by firmly pulsing his head in their grip.

Gale nodded desperately, leaning forward again, trying to press his lips to theirs. Tav gave him a withering look and he stopped, looking embarrassed.

"I can't wait to see the look on your face.." Tav snaked their hand to palm into his long hair, and pressed their wet mouth against the shell of his ear, "when you realise just how much you hate yourself because I made you come so hard your Goddess heard you scream my name."

"Fuck you." Gale spat, gripping a fistful of hair and yanking their head back. Tav moaned through their teeth and cackled.

Gale's body gave him away, even if he tried to deny it; the orb was glowing a radiant amethyst through his white, cotton undershirt. He was sweating and gasping, he was so tense and coiled to explode, he wouldn't take 30 more seconds to come in their hand.

Tav roughly grabbed onto the back of his neck, sweat slick from exertion.

"I'll make you cry from overstimulation.. from too much pleasure because you're nothing but an arrogant, self important arsehole that thinks he's a God's gift. When in reality, you're nothing but a picked over little slut who had everything and lost it all. Now you're just a sad, shit-eating, glorified Librarian who couldn't take care of a Kobald without help." Tav ridiculed and dropped his cock, sharply pushing off his stomach, stepping backwards to the table they knew was behind them.

Gale stood breathing heavily, utterly dumb-founded and painfully erect.

A sheen of sweat clung to his muscular frame, reminding them of how Gods damned tasty he'd looked in the Grymforge. What they wouldn't have given to licked, bitten and sucked every single inch of him.

Tav sat against the table and tilted their head to the side, leaning back to expose themselves fully to him.

Gale swallowed thickly, his erection twitched with desire, as his mouth hung open.

"Now you," They proffered with a gesture, "or do you need some more lessons on what it is we're doing here?" Tav smirked, narrowing their eyes at him.

It took a few seconds, before thoughts eventually flashed behind his eyes.

"So, by these new measures, I could.. push you against a window and fuck you against it from behind, so that everyone could see what a disgusting, lecherous whore you are?" He spat, a darkness across his face.

Tav grinned wide and filthy, "Now you're getting it." They winked at him with a salacious smile.

"That I could spread your arsehole wide and fuck you raw and unyielding until your sobbing underneath me?" He rumbled, his brown hair falling in curtains to shade his beautiful face, as he stalked towards them.

Now it was Tav's turn to swallow hard.

"Give it your worst, Wizard. Make it hurt." Tav snarled though a rough whisper, as they lay back flat against the table.

Gale's luminous chest heaved as he seized the collar of their shirt and ripped it apart, buttons scattering, pattering to the floor. He loomed over them, placed a hand on their throat and began to squeeze, "Oh trust me, I intend to." He threatened, as Tav's nerve-endings buzzed.

A deliciously, disgusting smile erupted between the two of them, the tension between them electric. Gale's grip increased and it sparked desire through their chest, their eyes rolling back in their head. Tav moaned through their teeth, their core pulsating with need.

Gale bit his bottom lip and groaned, as he bent down to gather the back of their knees in the crooks of his arms. He spread them aloft and viciously spat on their eagerly awaiting hole. He blindly rubbed his cock against the length of their saliva spattered sex and threw his head back, growling a whimper to himself.

He snapped his gaze back to theirs, uncertainty in his eyes, "Are you sure? You're sure you want this-want it like this?"

Tav softened - just a little bit, "You have my most enthusiastic consent. The safe word can be 'Elminster'." Tav grinned, reaching up to pat his head, "That should kill the mood enough, right?"

Gale rolled his eyes and laughed, "Undoubtedly so. I mean, even before his unbidden visit to camp begrudgingly delivering Mystra's missive to use the orb to end myself and the Absolute. I can assure you that-"

"-Gale.." Tav began reaching between themselves to align his cock to their pleading entrance, "Do shut the fuck up."

•°•°•

Y'all want some more? 😏

[cobaltperun]

Genius (4) - Bittersuite

Cairo Sweet x female (G!P) Reader

Summary: It was such a cliché, a reunion she didn’t expect to ever happen, let alone six years after she last saw you. It was supposed to mean nothing, a bit of nostalgia, maybe a brief catching up while waiting for class, it was supposed to be a small wave of nostalgia, not a tsunami that disrupted her entire life. You were her opposite, and as hard as she tried she couldn’t resist your pull.

Story masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next Part

Word count: 3.5k

-God, I hope it all goes away, 'cause I can't fall in love with you-

A madman’s love.

Cairo had no idea how that felt, but the way Miller described it sounded exactly like what she was yearning for. Ever since she was old enough to yearn for love. To be loved by someone to the point of madness, for that someone to merely be a bone monolith beneath her, to be loved so fiercely and strongly that both her and the one loving her end up consumed by the flames of emotions within them.

To be madly loved and to madly love in return.

How did that feel? To fight for someone’s love, no matter the circumstances, the taboo, the judgment of society. To feel so right no matter how many people said it’s wrong.

She didn’t know, but she imagined Miller knew, he described it, after all. He wrote it with passion that struck her, that made her yearn for what he was painting in her mind. What about his age? Well, she did desire something that others would deem wrong, didn’t she? And then there was Winnie, and Cairo would have cursed her for filling her head with the ideas of giving her virginity to someone older if Winnie didn’t present such a convincing argument. To give her virginity to someone that was, as Winnie put it, wagyu beef, and not deli meat.

She didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to bleed the first time she has sex, the books she read made sex out to be raw, rough, immediate, a desperate act of chasing pleasure, they hardly ventured into the ideas of woman’s arousal, much less aftercare.

Could he give it to her? Could he see her for who she really was? Reveal sides of her she didn’t even know existed yet? He certainly found something worth it in this damn village she despised, he could do the same with her. Find worth no one else did, make her feel wanted by someone. Make her feel like she was the only one who mattered.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it. You sent her a message, but she didn’t reach for her phone to reply. She just leaned her head back instead. She couldn’t deny the visceral reaction she had whenever she was reminded of you. Of her heart beating faster, or the dreams she had, or the fact that she wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking forward to more on Monday mornings, listening to Miller, or sitting next to you, your arms occasionally touching and making her feel like she was on fire.

How did you see her? Did you still see the girl who read to you, the girl that dragged you around the forest around her house, the girl who pushed you away? Or did you see her for who she was right now? A ghost, someone a rare few paid attention to, though she kept hearing she was extraordinary. A lonely girl longing for attention and escape. You were certainly providing her with the escape she needed, seeing as Saturdays became your usual getaways, and you took her to places she had no idea about, she was living when she was with you, free from the shackles of nowhere Tennessee.

But your love for her was a lot like Winnie’s. Immature, normal, fueled by reasons appropriate for your age. She couldn’t imagine you or Winnie being driven to madness by your love for her, if the way you loved her even included anything romantic in the first place.

She needed a love that wasn’t ordinary. She needed her madman’s love.

And she feared that whatever was happening between the two of you wasn’t a product of love or friendship, but a desperate attempt to emulate what was once lost.

Cairo didn’t want that. She didn’t want to emulate the past, she wanted… What did she want? She knew what she didn’t want, but what did she actually want?

~X~

This wasn’t working, and the only reason you still tolerated this class was because Cairo was there as well. You suppressed a sigh as Miller droned on about the writer’s style being bold, and too much, and it really was.

You were trying to reignite your love for reading but all this was doing was making you wish to never open a book again in your entire life. You couldn’t get the fact that he went thought student’s stuff out of your head, and that impression alone ruined the class for you.

“Meet me after classes,” he leaned over Cairo’s shoulder, too close to her, secretive, whispering so no one else but Cairo could hear him. Though not quiet enough for you not to hear him, even if you looked like you weren’t paying attention. The fuck was with this guy? After classes?

You were reading too much into it, right?

~X~

Was he seeing her? Like Winnie said? Cairo wasn’t sure yet, but she couldn’t deny their similarities, how at ease she felt, how the only time she felt this much at ease was when she was with you on your rides outside the village. It compared to that as far as her ease went, but it went further, it met other needs she had as well. The ones she hated to admit she had. Her need for approval and attention from someone older, something she never got before, being a big part of it, and what made this seem more impactful to her than what she had with you.

And then there was a part of her that consciously made what she had with you feel like it was to be expected. Like it was a given that you’d reconnect. And she needed to look at it that way, otherwise she’d spiral into fear and panic, because if it wasn’t a given, and if both of you chose to actively put effort into rebuilding what you once had, then that in and of itself, would be a form of madness she wasn’t ready to face just yet.

“See you on Monday, Mr. Miller,” Winnie said as she opened the doors so she could drag Cairo to get her beloved food.

“Bye, kid,” a kid, that’s how he saw Winnie, but he didn’t call Cairo a ‘kid’, so at the very least he didn’t see her as one, though her and Winnie were the same age. He saw her as an adult, and she very much liked that. “Oh, and Cairo, are you going to come this Saturday?” he asked her.

She realized she never got to answer him, and it wasn’t just because Winnie came in, there was an issue of already making plans with you. “I already made plans with Y/N, but I’ll see if she’s fine with postponing,” she told him, not quite ready to give a definitive answer.

He seemed a bit startled all of a sudden. “Y/N?”

Cairo nodded, not sure what made him react the way he did just now, though it was subtle she could see he was a bit uncomfortable.

“Did- Uh, did she mention me in any way?” he tried to brush it off as a normal question, but the way he avoided her eyes gave him away.

“No,” she replied. Not even sure why you would mention him. You didn’t particularly enjoy his class, she could tell by the way you actively tried not to listen to him, and she knew you were doing bare minimum on the assignments. You didn’t like either him or the class, and Caro didn’t know why, she didn’t ask why, and you never told her why.

“Oh, okay, forget I said anything,” Miller regained some color when she denied you ever mentioning him and she just nodded, choosing not to ask him about it.

She’d just ask you. After all, you were the one who kept something from her.

~X~

You were in your garage, just cleaning your motorcycle and your gear when you heard the doorbell ringing. You weren’t expecting any visitors, so maybe it was just one of your neighbors. When the doorbell rang the second time you got up, leaving the rug you were using on the bucket, and quickly washed your hands in the sink, before going outside.

“Sorry for the wait, I was-“ you paused, seeing Cairo on your doorstep. “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here,” you climbed up the stairs as Cairo looked to the side. You couldn’t read her, but you could tell something wasn’t right.

“Hey, Y/N,” she greeted you.

“Come in,” you opened the doors for her and stepped aside, she knew the house. Even if she hasn’t been inside in a long time. You followed after Cairo, taking notice of how she stopped and stared at the copy of Jules Verne’s ‘Around the World in Eighty Days’. You were trying to read it, but between Miller killing your desire to read and the book being closely tied to your and Cairo’s friendship while you were kids, you hated to admit it, but you weren’t having an easy time with it. Still, you were about two thirds in, so at least you were making some progress.

“Do you want something to drink? Or eat? I was about to make something for lunch anyway,” you were already heading toward the kitchen as Cairo sat down on the armchair.

“No, I just ate with Winnie, I’m okay,” she said and you chose not to push her. She was tense, and it didn’t escape your notice that she chose one seat that would put the most distance between the two of you regardless of where you sat down.

So, you mirrored her, taking a seat on the far end of the sofa, letting the distance between you engulf you. The silence felt deafening, and you hoped it wouldn’t come to this. This was the tension you were worried about the first time you took her out of the village, it wasn’t supposed to be happening now, two weeks after you reunited. “What’s wrong?” you asked carefully.

“Mr. Miller said something, well, he asked me if you mentioned him. Why?” she asked, looking you in the eyes and clutching the straps of her bag in her hand.

You could swear you were hearing alarm bells ringing in your head. Why would he ask her that? “I caught him and coach what’s-his-name going through your books on the first day, that’s all,” you had no reason to protect him, since Cairo asked so openly. Frankly, you weren’t sure why you haven’t told her that in the first place.

“That’s it?” she asked incredulously.

“You wanted more?” you were astonished. Now, you didn’t expect her to be furious, or go on a rant, or anything like that, but you didn’t expect her to think nothing of it. What did she even want from you, because you honestly couldn’t tell where you were standing with her.

“You’re being ridiculous,” she defended him. “Mr. Miller isn’t being inappropriate, he sees me,” she told you.

You raised an eyebrow, puzzled. Sees her? “Cairo, what do you mean he sees you?” you questioned, leaning a bit closer over the dreadfully large distance between the two of you.

Cairo looked away, contemplating whether she should tell you something and then, finally, she made her decision. “He sees my talent; he sees what others’ don’t. He- he gave me special treatment, offered me an early mid-term assignment,” she leaned back, likely reading your frown as if you were disapproving of her.

It wasn’t her. It was his actions. It didn’t feel right. It felt unprofessional, it felt like he was actively crossing boundaries with her, taking advantage of her need to be seen, as she put it. “Cairo, he might not be good for you,” you didn’t feel like you had the right to influence her, or get involved in her decisions, but you also felt like you had to, much like all those years ago, pull her away from something that could harm her.

“You just came back, don’t pretend you understand what is best for me,” she snapped, her voice shaking a bit and even from this distance you could see the tears pooling in her eyes. “I’m going to a poetry reading this Saturday, to see him, just so you know,” the fact that she was canceling your plans didn’t matter nearly as much as the reason why she chose to cancel them.

What pushed her this far? To seek approval from him of all people? “Okay,” but she was too emotional to talk to properly right now. So, you chose to back away for now, to just hope that nothing even worse would happen. And Cairo? She just left, closing the doors with a sound that rang through your mind as if it signaled the start of madness.

~X~

He truly did see her, he saw all of her. The ghost, the rose bush that wasn’t allowed to blossom, no matter how hard she tried. And she saw herself in him, she saw her reflection, and she wondered if he saw himself in her as well. She was willing to bet he did, they were both ghosts, cursed to never be seen for what they were by anyone who wasn’t like them.

He didn’t take her somewhere else, he showed her a side of her home she wasn’t aware of, and she managed to see worth in it she never knew existed. She yearned for more. She yearned for an even deeper connection. She yearned… she longed… she…

This wasn’t a given. This was something she had to reach for, something she had to work for, something forbidden, and yet so appealing at the same time.

Would he fight for her? Accept her entirely and burn in their shared passion and desires and yearning, or would he refuse to participate in this dance? She feared the answer, because, if he wouldn’t… who would?

And in the middle of it all, of all those thoughts and feelings, she just for a moment, saw your face as you told her he wasn’t good for her. Your eyes, intensely looking right at her. What did you see? What compelled you to look at her like that? And along the image of you, leaning closer to her, so close that she, despite the almost overwhelming distance, caught herself unsure if she should back away, maintain the distance, or lean in, encouraging you to keep closing the distance until there was none of it left. Along that image she vividly saw the wild rose bush crushed by an old fallen tree and her eyes widened as she remembered you pulling her away from it all.

Would you pull her back once again? Would Miller be the old tree to crush her? Or would he stand strong next to her as she blossomed? She didn’t decide yet, but she knew the way he was looking at her right now lacked the intensity your stare had.

~X~

You’ve been denying it for years, but Cairo, even after she pushed you away remained a constant presence in your life. You still remembered that time in the forest around her house, when she dragged you around and then just froze when she saw an old tree that had fallen over a bush of wild roses. It wasn’t the scene that remained in your memory. You weren’t old enough for it to profoundly affect you. Even now you didn’t come to give any deeper meaning to the imagery you witnessed.

It was still an impactful memory because she sobbed, and she wasn’t even aware of it. She let out a sound, filled with so much sorrow you couldn’t even comprehend what was going through her head back then. To this day, you didn’t know why it affected her so much, but you knew how it affected you. How it made you feel like you had to take her away from there, that you had to do something so she would smile again.

She set a bar so damn high for you that it wasn’t just the fact that you were moving a lot that stopped you from being best friends with someone. It was the fact that they just couldn’t compare to her. And then you got a bit older and started understanding your sexuality and you tried, you really did. You dated on and off, but again, the connection you were seeking wasn’t there. No matter how amazing the girl was you just found it hard to let someone in the way you did with Cairo. Did you ever have any feelings for Cairo that weren’t purely friendship related? No, not even a childish crush, but the connection between you was just strong enough to affect you years after you last saw her. You felt that connection in the songs you learnt to play, in some of the music you created, brimming with longing and inspired by a friendship long ago left in the past that refused to fade away.

You glanced at her, at her focused gaze meant only for Miller in this very moment, and you weren’t sure how to feel. You just waited for the class to end. And then he approached your and Cairo’s table from behind, and you saw his left hand reaching for her hand as he leaned over her shoulder.

As if he absolutely had to say something only to her.

Your eyebrow twitched. How dare he? He was her teacher, and she was only eighteen. Without thinking you pushed the table to your left so abruptly he lost his hold on the edge of the table and stumbled forward, and, unable to stay on his feet he dropped to his knees to the gasps of the students.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t worry,” he got up, dusting his pants and raising his hands as he turned away from the class, embarrassed by what just happened. Just for a moment his eyes met yours and you glared, begging for him to read your mind and see what you thought. ‘Learn where the damn boundary is,’ is what you were trying to convey through your eyes. Consequences be damned.

Not like there would be any. If he went and reported you, you’d just say what you suspected, consequences of those actions be damned. He, at the very least, did show favoritism toward Cairo.

When the class ended you stormed out of the classroom, ignoring Cairo and Winnie’s eyes following you.

~X~

As you walked out of the classroom after all your classes ended you suddenly felt a hand grab your forearm and pull you aside much to your utter surprise.

“Come with me,” Cairo demanded, ordering you as if you had no choice but to follow her every whim.

“You could be a bit gentler,” you complained, not appreciating how tightly she was gripping your arm.

Cairo looked back at you, anger flashing in her eyes. “I could say the same to you, why would you make him fall like that?” she hissed, dragging you to a slightly secluded corner.

“Maybe next time he’ll think twice before putting his hands where they shouldn’t be,” you were instantly annoyed by the reminder of where he was about to put his hands. And Cairo jumping to his defense wasn’t helping.

“Yeah, and where is that?” she challenged you as you leaned against the wall and she stepped right in front of you. If you moved even a bit, you’d be pressed right against her.

“Not on you, that’s for sure. Or any of his students,” he had his responsibilities and one of those was to keep the proper boundaries with his students.

“And if I want him to?” Cairo demanded and you just… weren’t sure how to answer that. You knew how it made you feel though. And suddenly it wasn’t just about his advances toward Cairo being inappropriate in your eyes. You finally felt as if the pieces on your side were falling into place, and you were no longer seeing the girl you spent your childhood with. You saw an eighteen-year-old girl and somehow you were no longer certain you only saw her as a friend. It was as if the very thought of him touching her ignited flames of madness within you, a jealousy you didn’t even know you could feel over Cairo.

“Do you really?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

You took her words in, you forced yourself to calm down, to take it easy, to think rationally. “Why did you push me away when we were kids Cairo?” you asked and she backed away a bit, and though she didn’t leave, you could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t going to answer. And her answer mattered to you more than anything, because her answer was the only thing that could make any of this worth it. That was the only thing that could validate or invalidate your feelings. That was the only thing that could solve every question running through your mind. And she wasn’t giving it to you.

A/N: Is Cairo confused at the moment? Yup! Is R? Absolutely! So, tell me what you think, I would appreciate it!

Taglist: @deimaisgail @bee-keeping @marvelous-disaster @jmwetterlund @tekanparadiae

@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

[homelanderbutbig]

With You By My Side (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1842 words. Hurt/comfort, and a bit of angst. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

Homelander hurts you during a nightmare, and somehow he's more affected. Inspired by this ask.

While you don't know the full extent of Homelander's past, you know how he struggles to sleep at night. He may start out normally, but like clockwork, there is always a nightmare. Remnants of his traumatic childhood that still infest his psyche, jolting him from his slumber. You've seen him in the morning, waking from his horrid memories with a haunting gasp. Despite his heightened fear he still allows you to comfort him, snuggling his head into your chest and calming him down with your soothing words.

It isn't a perfect way to deal with his trauma, but it helps having someone there to guide him through it. Knowing that he can be safe in your arms no matter what he's dreamt brings him a meager level of solace he never was allowed to experience.

But this time, that didn't happen.

The evening comes and goes as normal, ending with the both of you sleeping in his bed. It must have been very late when you stirred awake hearing noises coming from beside you. You usually are a pretty sound sleeper, this was the first time you've caught him mid-nightmare. He's in an absolute state of disarray; his breaths are frenzied, his eyes are twitching uncontrollably, and his fists are clenching his bedsheets so tightly you swear he ripped them.

"Hey, wake up honey," you whisper, reaching out to touch his hand. You aren't really sure of the protocol to wake someone experiencing night terrors, but all you understand in this moment is Homelander needs help.

What ensues is faster than you can react. Your nudging indeed jolts him from his dreams, but even just a simple touch creates an automatic fight-or-flight response. With a guttural yell he launches upwards, eyes alight with a crimson heat as he swats fiercely at the imagined danger laying a finger on him.

In his dreams he was reliving a crystal clear memory of when he was a child in the lab, surrounded by doctors preparing another experiment on him. They were poking and prodding, sharp instruments gliding all over his body, his skin perceiving the searing and stabbing pain like it was truly real. When one particular touch pushes him over the edge, he awakes and immediately attacks in an attempt to protect himself.

However, instead of the familiar faces of the doctors he grew to despise, Homelander sees nobody in front of him. The ghosts of his past have released him from their grasp. Catching his breath he scans what is in front him, and begins to recognize his surroundings. He's safe, he's in his bedroom… but then…

Oh no.

In his bid to force whatever was touching him away, his large hand struck you so hard that he broke your wrist. He can easily see the extent of the damage with his X-ray vision. And you're glancing up at him in utter shock, clearly in pain but the extent of it not entirely hitting you yet.

His lasers dissipate as he stares directly at you, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth slightly open but unable to form a sentence. Everything around him no longer feels like reality. His heart is beating out of his chest, tears flowing down his cheeks as he is consumed by the realization of what he's done. The one thing he swore he would never do, hurt the sole person on earth that he loves.

He doesn't say one word to you before he frantically runs out of the bed and flies away from the balcony launchpad. He doesn't even take the 20 seconds to put his suit on, he couldn't stand the sight of what he'd done any longer.

Now you're alone to deal with the injury he's caused.

~~~

You're eternally grateful that there was still security roaming the Tower floors so late at night, and that nobody was questioning why you were walking around Vought wearing your pajamas. Everything that happened after Homelander broke your wrist was a blur, you were running on pure adrenaline. After he flew away, you rushed out to the elevator and went down to the main floor, calling out for help which luckily was not too far away. You were whisked away to the hospital, where your wrist was X-rayed and a cast was applied. Now with your pain under control, the doctor asked where you would be staying while you healed.

By the time you return to the penthouse, it's late in the afternoon. You considered not going back at all, perhaps just renting a hotel room and spending some time away from Homelander to process what transpired. But realistically you knew that was never going to happen, when you're dating a man who can hear your heartbeat from across the city. It's best to just confront him, and hash out these problems together.

Walking through the rooms, you notice how it doesn't seem like he's been back yet. Or so you thought, as peering into the bedroom reveals that his suit is missing from his bedside stand. He must have returned at some point to dress himself, but making certain that you weren't there. You can't say that it isn't something out of the ordinary; he will avoid you if he's feeling guilty about upsetting you with one of his shenanigans. And this time what he did was a doozy.

While contemplating in his bedroom, you hear the familiar sound of Homelander touching down on his balcony. He couldn't bear the long elevator ride up to the penthouse, and he's had enough time to be alone with his thoughts. After fleeing last night he hid out in the only place he can find reprieve in, his cabin. Yet he couldn't sleep, he was relentlessly pacing back and forth trying to come to terms with what occurred. He's always so careful to mind his strength, but he always knew this would happen eventually. There was a reason Madelyn never let him touch her; she was like you, a measly human. You might be intellectually on the same playing field, but physically... not only does he tower above you, he can also crush your skull with a flick of his wrist. One wrong move on his part and your life would be snuffed out.

And now you both have to come to the conclusion he's been obsessed with since he's gotten close to you. Your relationship was never going to work, it was doomed from the start.

You sigh to yourself, seeing him standing like a statue in the living room. Although he's facing your direction, his eyes are strictly planted on the ground. He's clearly held captive by his thoughts, the fear of what might happen next overtaking any rationality he usually possesses.

"Homelander," you call out to him, snapping him out of his dissociation as he jerks his head up. Now being able to see his face, you can tell how distressed this accident has been for him. His hair is unkempt from a lack of styling, his expression is dishevelled and drained, his eyes are bloodshot, and the residue of tears shed not long ago stain his face. He is a mess, but a mess of his own creation.

Because he was worried about you.

"Come lie down with me," you coax him as you use the stepping stool placed on the ground to maneuver on top of the bed. At first he refuses to move, but he can tell by the determined look in your eyes that you won't be taking no for an answer.

Tensing his jaw, he walks to the side opposite of you and hesitantly descends onto the bed. He's as still as a corpse in a coffin, petrified to move even in the slightest bit. Even moreso when he sees you shift closer to him, leaning against his pillow so you can look down at his big head.

"S-sorry…" you hear him mumble. The silence between you two was beginning to eat at him, and he had to say something… even if he was scared that you wouldn't forgive him.

"Sweetheart, it's okay. It wasn't your fault, I still love you," you reassure him. You can tell he's still struggling to accept your unconditional affection, especially now that's his greatest fear has been realized. He's hurt you, how can you even think of staying with him?

You're aware Homelander had an isolated childhood, and as a result he tends to overexamine his relationships. Every time he gets close to someone, he must look for the slightest hint of that person getting ready to leave him. They always do. It's times like these that really exemplify how despite being a foreboding eight foot tall giant, breaking through his 'tough guy persona' reveals that he's just a lonely, vulnerable child at heart. One who's only ever been abandoned, and who's desperate to never let that happen again.

"You know what humans and supes have in common?" you question him, smiling as he shakes his head no. He hasn't taken his eyes off you since he's lied down. "We're resilient. We might get hurt, but we all have the strength to heal the best we can. And I will heal too, with you by my side, there to help me."

With your one good arm you stroke his cheek with your palm. He wastes no time in angling his head into your delicate touch, craving this intimacy that he fretted he was going to lose forever. And the longer you pet him, the more his self-imposed burdens ease. The creases on his forehead and his furrowed brows have finally relaxed, leaving him with nothing more than to melt into your affection.

"You look like you're exhausted baby boy, you haven't gotten any sleep huh?" you ask, observing how Homelander is fighting a losing battle to keep his eyes open. And you're feeling quite tired yourself; you've been wired awake since your wrist was broken.

"I-I… I can't…" he stutters, tears once more forming in his eyes as a fresh wave of anxiety builds in his chest. "W-what i-if…"

"What if nothing," you cut him off, halting his crying once you lean down to kiss his forehead. "I'm not going to abandon you. If you have another nightmare, so be it. I will be here for you when you wake up, same as always. I promise to help you heal too."

Sighing deeply through his nose, he gives a nod in agreement to your words. He's too tired to fight back against your suicidal decision to stay with him… not that he'd want to anyway. Resting his big head against your chest, he's quickly lulled into slumber by the dulcet sounds of your heart in his ears, and the pleasant sensations of your fingers running along his scalp.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, Homelander wakes up in the morning feeling peaceful. He's safely snuggled up against the love of his life, and you kept your promise. You helped protect him from a nightmare.

[thewriters-world]

Omg yes!! I saw a poll on what would be a better Hollywood movie rosquez or brocedes

And I was like hands down brocedes, because that's Monaco & Ibiza, a neat little story of growing up, growing apart, giving up on shared dreams. All the glitz and glamour. The way Nico keeps saying nice things and Lewis keeping his silence. A bit of modicum.

Rosquez however could never be Hollywood, they are unhinged, they are gritty, down & dirty, blunt fingernails scrambling to hold on in dark alleyways, it's being on top of the world and seeing your end approaching you wrapped up in smooth golden muscle and a mouth that never ends, it's touching legends, getting on that pedestal and then being isolated on there by the very hands that welcomed you in, it's European art film that is full of shadows and long silences, things never said and hands reaching out too late, it's his voice whispering everytime you fall, it's seeing him in every rider, knowing he would be crazier, faster, fiercer.

Brocedes could have survived if they were less ambitious/less greedy/less driven than they were, Rosquez never had an option because the things that drew them together are the things that they despise about each other.

OP YOUR VISION!

You've described rosquez so perfectly. They're like ruined somehow. Like Marc has his claws in Valentino and Valentino has his claws in Marc and yh they've let go but their bodies, brains HEARTS are still bloody and bruised. Lewis and Nico are healing but will Marc and Valentino ever heal? Idk Valentino says it'll take him 30 years to get over this and Marc says reconciliation is not upto him. So will they be tainted with marks of each other for 30 years? Does everything become more sullied when you remember that Marc had hung posters of Valentino on his bedroom wall and was buying replica bikes until 2015? Is it more cruel that Valentino knew all of this and not only did he do what he did to Marc when he was 22, he denied Marc a concrete part of his personality by saying he doesn't belive Marc had those posters (it's been documented you senile old man!). He basically said I don't know you, I never knew you. Is this all way more horrid when you consider that Marc thought getting into motogp with his idol would mean that Valentino actually KNEW him and they could be friends and then Valentino throws it right back into his face 'I want to see those posters' (I've never known you, I've never looked at those pictures of young you with my motorbikes, I've never paid attention, whilst you devoted your whole life to my life, your life was simply a speck in the grand scheme of events that is my life). Obviously its not true, it's a way to hurt Marc (we all know Valentino actually LIKED marc). But doesn't that make it all the more cruel, you treated someone you actually had affection for like this. Also is it more hurtful when you remember that Valentino told Marc ill protect you from these people if they're mean to you just let me know (not verbatim) but you're the meanie Valentino so now who does Marc go to. The people you turned against him?

Brocedes is way more tame bcs there was no idolisation, sure there was friendship, affection and childlike hope, but never once did Nico and Lewis decide that they didn't have what they had. Nico doesn't denounce the time they sat in hotel rooms and ate frosties, Lewis doesn't hide the fact that karting with Nico provided him joy as a child. Lewis can say Nico isn't his friend, but he hasn't ever said 'I've never known Nico' even when Nico acts a fool whilst commentating on races just to get his attention Lewis wouldn't be so cruel to deny ever having a relationship with Nico. Nico and Lewis are connected in a more concrete and wholesome way (Lewis gives Nico's daughters gifts). Marc and Valentino are connected in a more brutal way (they still have the bruises, the bleeding wounds of whatever they had with one another, friendship, affection companionship idk). That's the only similarity, they are still connected, their legacies are interspersed with one another. Something about how Lewis was there for nicos first and last podium. Something about how everywhere Marc goes, he is haunted by how Valentino has painted him to other people. Even in the one similarity between brocedes and rosquez you can see the abject dirtiness of rosqiez and the wholesomeness of brocedes.

[bitterbutblue]

xueyi!!

in your arms tonight ☆ xueyi x reader

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~ xueyi hurt/comfort + fluff because god knows this girl needs a BREAK omg she and hanya r just going through it...

how are u all doing! i hope u liked the tingyun/fugue angst i had a lot of fun writing that one.. remember me 1999 episode 4 will be out some time next week, so stay tuned!

song: soren - beabadoobee ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

One of the few things Xueyi never found herself able to even process the idea of was love. After being punished, practically reliving a living hell, she might as well consider herself barely human. No, she's not even barely human. Her heart is synthetic, a piece of plastic that can be destroyed over and over again but as long as she stays with the commission she has to continue feeling like this- like her body is her prison.

Yet every time you kiss her cheek, shoulder, neck, hand, anywhere, she feels herself begin to melt. Her body she once hated was a body you worshipped like none other- the way you touched her was so warm, so welcoming. She found herself craving for your touch because it made her actually feel for once something other than dread or pain. When you say her name, she feels her heart that she once despised beat faster. She feels what she never thought she could ever feel in this life time.

When you kissed her for the first time, some part of her actually melted in your arms and she felt some part of her become some part of you that day. Her lips were cold against yours, but all you could focus on was the way her breath hitched slightly and how she froze a bit. The way her hands hesitantly moved to rest against your hips as she pulls you in closer, an eagerness within her you had never seen before. She pulls away with a the first smile she's shown since she's been put in this body. A smile that you want to keep forever close to your heart, a smile that makes you want to kiss her into oblivion.

That was the day you knew you were in love with her, and there was no getting out of it.

That was the day Xueyi vowed to work even harder, despite her hatred for her job, because all she wanted was to spend eternity with you.

"I really think we should get a cat."

She looks up at the sound of your voice, raising an unamused eyebrow.

"A cat?"

"Yeah." You nod, moving to sit down next to her on the couch. Xueyi continues flipping over the documents as you lean your shoulder. She can't show you exactly how she feels, she can't explain that this body is a limit to everything in her life but she feels her heart warm up and her body lighten slightly. She feels more human, just from the touch of your hand.

"Why cats?"

"I like them."

She doesn't say anything, not really knowing what to do or say as you further move to snuggle your head in the crook of her neck. She has grown used to your actions and if anything, you already remind her of owning a cat. Needy, cuddly. Overly affectionate at times.

"I see."

You pout at her response.

"You don't want a cat?"

"I want whatever makes you happy." She shrugs lightly.

You just let out a soft hum in response.

"You make me happy."

Xueyi freezes slightly, unsure how to fully respond in that moment. What is happiness? Is that what she feels whenever you kiss her? Is that what she feels whenever someone just mentions your name? Maybe the lightness in her chest is happiness, the fluttering in the cavity of wires and bits and bobs where she shouldn't feel such giddiness but she does.

"It still confuses me how you can blush."

"Huh?"

She snaps out of her thoughts, looking over at you with a mildly confused expression.

"What?"

"Your face. It's pink again."

Xueyi looks away, quickly reaching up with one hand to touch her cheek. It feels warm to the touch again. She's still unsure of how her body functions but according to you this is a human reaction. And knowing that she can react like a human makes her feel a bit calmer inside.

"I like it. Pink suits you, you're adorable." You mumble as you press kiss to her jawline. She feels a lurch in her chest, as if the motors are going haywire. Every time your lips press against her synthetic skin she feels like she's going slightly insane, as if her body was failing to process whatever was going on.

"Thank you." Is all she can mumble out, and you laugh to yourself at the response.

"Gods, you're adorable." You whisper, pressing a kiss to her neck. She doesn't understand why she gasps softly, or why she feels the need for more as move to straddle her lap, kissing down her neck. There's a lot she doesn't understand about herself, there's a lot she knows she used to hate but doesn't anymore. But the one thing she's sure of is that she wants all of you.

"Xueyi?"

She lets out a soft hum of acknowledgement, wrapping her arm around your back as you lay next to her, resting your head on her bare chest as the covers keep you both from the cool winter nights.

"Did you know you could feel like this?"

She tilts her head to the side.

"Like what?"

"Like... love? Did you know you could fall in love?"

The question has her pondering slightly. She didn't think she could feel the way she used to feel anymore until you, and she's never been more grateful.

"No, but I'm glad I can, to an extent." She responds quietly, feeling your finger trace shapes upon her skin, tracing each little groove on her synthetic body that holds it together. "I'm glad I've met you."

You look up at her, and she can feel herself falling again at the look in your eyes. Who knew a simple look could convey words that neither of you could form in the moment, but somehow was able to understand each other completely?

"Do you want to get married?"

The question comes out of the blue, tumbling out of your mouth like an unstoppable boulder going down the hill. It comes out of your mouth like desperately, as if it was a question you had pondered for too long and you just wanted to let out as soon as possible. She feels the same caving feeling in her chest as when you first kissed her, when you first told her you love her.

"Married?"

Her own voice sounds shaky as she searches your eyes for an answer, for your answer to your own question. Your eyes stayed glued onto hers, looking for the same. Neither of you knew the answer to the question, what you truly wanted was still unknown even to yourself and she can see that in your eyes but what she could also see was the overwhelming love.

"Baby?"

She doesn't understand why you suddenly seemed to grow worried.

"Xueyi, are you okay?"

"Yeah?"

"You're crying."

It's only when you point it out that she realises her face is wet and her eyes are stinging slightly. Crying. A human response to an overly emotional trigger, a response she shouldn't be able to show as she is not in a human body. So why is she crying?

"Darling, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head, not wanting to worry you because she doesn't know either- all she knows is that she feels a tornado in her chest and she feels too much that she feels like she shouldn't be able to comprehend but she can. She understands it all despite it being so foreign and it feels like home. It feels like you.

"I love you."

Your gaze softens at her words, the first time she's ever said them out loud to you was in the sanctuary of your bed in your home.A home you've managed to make her feel safe in for the first time, a home she wants to return to. When you kiss her, she just holds you close. No words could convey what you were feeling and she knew she wouldn't be able to convey much either. But she knew she wanted you, for as long as she can have you.

She can't ever really tell you how she feels, she can't write a poem like those authors on the streets that show off the emotions they can feel. She can't tell you how you mean the world and more to her because she can barely even get herself to smile when she's happy but she would try forever to get you to see how much she truly cares for you. Even if it means going to lengths she never did before.

So she just texts you one day:

Come to the kitchen.

You were worried when you got that text, leaping out of your chair to dash down to the kitchen, afraid that something had happened. Was it something you did? Did she want to talk? You couldn't help but overthink- it was hard with Xueyi. The walk was only thirty seconds or less, but you felt your panic grow in each second passing.

"Xueyi, what's wrong-?"

You were quickly cut off when you see the sight in front of you. Xueyi stands in the kitchen in her oversized hoodie that she took from you, holding a black little kitten in her arms with round red eyes. You couldn't help but let out a gasp, rushing up to her and the kitten as you look down at the little creature in her arms.

"What? How did you-"

"You wanted a cat."

The smile on your face when she said those words made her realise it was really all worth it. She never understood the need for little living creatures but seeing the way you grinned and bent down slightly to coo at the cat, her face relaxed slightly from her usual emotionless scowl to a softer expression- the closest she can show to emotion.

"It looks like you."

She furrows her eyebrows at your comment.

"How can a cat look like me?"

A soft giggle escapes from between your lips, she's fallen and long gone now.

"It just does."

[spadesolace]

drag me down: introductions

synopsis: in hanni´s second year of high school, a new face arrives, one that threatens her spot within their first meeting. first impressions last long and from there on out, hanni already despised yn.

words: 0.7k

next

A new school year meant new classes, new teachers, newly renovated classrooms, and possibly new faces. For Hanni, she was nervous about those changes, having ranked top of her class with a perfect attendance and the right amount of extracurricular activities, she already got used to it and is taking precautionary measures to keep it that way. As her morning started with a perfectly balanced meal, her parents eating and conversing with her, she had gotten an update from her friends.

‘I heard that there’s a new student in our batch.’ Minji being one to gossip had immediately gotten the new scoop around campus. Haerin was one to back her up with this discovery only to confirm that the new student was in Hanni’s class.

‘Checking her socials… oohhhh Hanni has competition.’ Hyein has always been the one that needs proof for these sorts of things and luckily, the new student’s info was easy to find. One search of their name and Hyein would have everything she needs to know. ‘Oh, she’s close with Sullyoon.’

Hanni for one does not care for people’s personal affairs but what caught her attention is that Hyein has considered the new student as her supposed competition. The name hasn’t been mentioned in the group but Hyein has connections with everyone, she knows the gossip and everything going on around the academy. 

Eunchae probably knows who the new student is if Hyein got her socials.

A new face, new name, in her new class, Hanni was determined to find the new student as soon as she entered the campus. No one dared to take her spot as the top student, let alone someone new would give off that impression on their first day. Seeing her for the first time, Hanni already despised her. Her blazer showed her name; Park YN.

When the class had settled, their adviser was the one that called YN to the front, give a short introduction but apparently Park YN is a well known student.

“Hello, I’m Park YN, simply call me YN. I came from SOPA. Pleased to meet you all.” It didn’t go unnoticed when their adviser commented about her performance back in SOPA, she was also a top student, which made it worse for Hanni.

She thought her morning wouldn’t get worse but it did, they got seated together, Pham and Park not being far off but it did not ease Hanni that the girl was reciting almost for every class. Faster than her, more concise, it concerned her. She worked hard for her spot, she won’t give it up easily for a girl on her first day knowing most of the answers to the question. Park YN was a major threat for Hanni, it could jeopardise her chances of maintaining the top rank for her already planned future. That day, as YN tried to befriend Hanni only to be left hanging, was the very first day their rivalry started.

YN had joined almost the same extracurriculars as Hanni from creative writing, debate, the school paper, and science. Student council was something YN would never touch, the same way Hanni wouldn’t touch the football (soccer) club. Everything else has always been between them fighting, trying to one up each other, and Hanni always wins. YN never really cared about her grades or ranking, if she wanted to put the extra effort, she would. The last thing on her mind was taking the top spot, she wanted to mess with Hanni after being ignored, judged at, and snarked. Was there anything to gain? Yes, her attention.

The entire rivalry continued on, same with the subtle glances, short lived hand holding when trying to get the marker first, and the side comments that were actually helping each other. Everyone would have assumed something was going on but it wouldn’t be a normal day without them bickering.

“Blasting One Direction again?” Hanni removed one of her earphones to look at YN, who has always seated next to her despite no seating arrangement. Sort of got stuck together.

“As if you don’t listen to The Vamps.” Something simple. A conversation about their interests and yet they still make a fuss about it.

“At least I never cried when a member left.”

“At least I don’t get all down when a certain song plays.”

Everyone is used to it at this point, the rivalry has been ongoing for years, and everyone else knew they were a perfect match for each other. Sadly, they despised one another.

[delulu-is-the-soluluh]

Scars of Flames and Shadows | Chap 2

Chap 1 | Chap 3

A Dark!Rowaelin x afab!Reader

(Temporary) Summary:  Aelin and Y/N shared a deep bond since childhood, growing up together in the royal courts of Terrasen as their innocent crushes hinted at a future romance. However, the invasion of Adarlan shattered their world. Aelin was forced to become Celaena, while Y/N stayed behind, joining the rebellion and becoming their most lethal spy, never ceasing to look for the princess. That is until she accidentally meets with a famous assassin who’s eyes she knows for so long.

Warnings: Lots of pining. Drama (I’m a drama queen); Set one month before the events of AB.

Chapter 2 | The Assassin and The Spy

Celaena pov:

I can’t believe Arobynn had the audacity to send me to this decrepit part of Rifthold. And yes, it was business and the client offered a decent sum, but I can’t ignore this scum of the place. It truly reflected just how much the client despised the target: an abusive father, slain at his daughter's request. He often came around here to buy drugs and alcohol before returning home to “demonstrate” his fragile masculinity to his family.

Typically, I would have a little bit of fun with this type of job: I get to have one less abuser in the world and explore new ‘methods’. I was inspired tonight. Had a plan and everything. But he had to die within thirty minutes.  I had hoped to spend at least half the night relieving some tension. Instead, I was left fuming in a rat hole, my clothes way too fine for this, feeling grotesquely out of place, breathing a repugnant smell of air, and so frustrated.

That’s why I stood in the doorway of a filthy bar, scanning the dim interior, sulking about this crap of evening. I needed to find a way to blow off steam. A brawl in a dingy bar seemed like the perfect escape—losing myself in a little chaos might help to drown out the boredom gnawing at me.

Thankfully an opportunity soon presented itself. One of the drunken patrons made a lewd comment accusing me, rightfully so, of cheating in a card game. A few snarky remarks later, and they were on it. Fists flew, chairs splintered, and bodies collided in a whirlwind of aggression. For a moment, I was lost in the cathartic release. But it still wasn't enough. Their punches were too amateur and the chaos didn’t bring me any relief.

As the brawl raged on, I stumbled toward the door, the sense of agitation pressed more intensely against my ribs. I was about to slip out when I collided with someone. I was ready to throw them on the floor but they kept balance. So I looked up, ready to lash out again, only for shock hit me like a tidal wave. 

It couldn’t be. She wasn’t supposed to be alive—Arobynn had said...

But there she was. Y/N was before me, alive and well, her eyes wide and surprised as I could hear my heart in my ears: She recognized me 

Without a second thought, I turned and bolted. I couldn’t let her see me like this, couldn’t risk my identity or her safety. Despair clawed at my chest as I ran. Y/N was alive. She survived, she.. Why was she here? What was she doing in Adarlan?

The sound of footsteps behind me broke through my thoughts and I dared to look behind. Fuck she was fast, faster than I remembered. My breath quickened, and I pushed myself harder, darting through alleys and leaping over obstacles. I scaled walls with ease, my movements fluid and precise. But Y/N kept up, relentlessly stubborn still.

I darted across the rooftops hoping to lose Y/N in the maze of buildings, until the sound of her steps began to fade. “Finally,” I thought, dropping down into a secluded alley. I leaned against the wall, ripping off my mask to catch my breath. How did this happen? How had she found me, and if so where was Aedion?

It was just a glimpse. A breathtaking glimpse and I didn't even know I could still feel that, let alone be.. I need to put myself together. ‘I’m Celaena Sardothien, Adarlan’s best assassin, heir and prote-’

A soft thud echoed in front of me interrupting my thoughts and I looked up, alarmed. The moon casted a pale light over the narrow passage as Y/N stepped forward, her eyes widening in recognition and disbelief. A smile began to bloom on her lips as she parted them to speak. “My gods… It is you…”

Gods she was beautiful. Her voice, matured and raspy, struck me with a wave of conflicting emotions way too strong for my liking. My heart leapt, but I forced myself to stay as composed as I can be, my gaze cold and unyielding as Y/N walked toward me.

“Ael-” She didn’t get a chance to finish as I ran toward her, lunging to bring her down. I need to escape before any more questions or emotions could complicate matters.

I wasn't expecting when she fought back, quick on her reflexes and certain astonishment upon her face. She still ducked and twisted, blocking my initial strike with a defensive posture. “Please, stop,” Y/N gasped, her voice edged with desperation as she tried to fend off my assault.

I was fierce, aiming to bring her down rather than maim. I landed a few solid blows, but Y/N’s instincts kept her from falling.Pride started to bloom in my chest, to know she’s skilled and trained. It was thrilling and.. a bit exciting. Each time I tried to pin her down, She dodged or countered with quick, fluid movements. 

As I moved in to grapple Y/N, I attempted to pin her against the wall. Y/N twisted free, striking back with a powerful kick to my midsection, forcing me to stagger back. Her eyes were full of anguish and determination as she panted, “Why are you doing this? Aelin...”

“Who the hell is Aelin?” I said through gritted teeth, trying to maintain control and balance of the fight.

Her face crumbled, eyes flooding with pain before anger quickly took its place. I could barely react before she came at me and pinned me down to the floor. Damn, she was strong. Finally, a worthy opponent. I grinned, ready to free myself when Y/N's eyes revealed nothing but anguish.“You don’t fool me... Please, all I ask for is one moment...” Her voice was low and filled with despair. “I can’t let you go again...” 

Her plea struck me like a physical blow. The world around me seemed to blur as my resolve wavered under her gaze. She seemed to sense the shift in my demeanor. With a fluid motion, she released her hold and gently helped me to my feet. Despite the urgency of our confrontation, her touch was careful, almost tender—as if she were handling something precious, even in the midst of our struggle.

The walls I had built around myself slowly began to crumble, leaving me exposed to a torrent of memories and feelings I had long buried. The tension was replaced by a fragile silence that spoke volumes. I couldn't let this happen—I had to maintain my control.

“I’ve been looking for you... non-stop,” Y/N’s voice was breathy and raw. “I’ve been looking for clues, for leads, and—”

The sharp sound of my dagger being retrieved from my sheath cut through the air. “Stop deluding yourself. You’re not the hero here, you’re just a nuisance I’ve been trying to avoid. So save your tears and get out of my way.”

It was uncalled for. Hypocritical even, when the embellished hilt of my blade concealed our necklaces. So insincere when “Celaena” is named because of it. Rage flashed into her eyes and never left mine as she strode to me, grabbing my wrist, pulling me in and aiming my dagger at her fifth rib. 

“Kill me then.” A heartbeat passed “ it only proves how deeply you're haunted by it” 

my eyes astonished by her recklessness as a bitter smirk appeared on her face. “What part of ‘I can’t let you go’ don’t you understand?” Her voice filled with agony and determination. Her proximity allowed her gaze to drift to my lips. I couldn’t help but do the same to her. “Just one moment... I’m begging you.”

I sighed as I met Y/N’s determined gaze. “Alright,” I whispered. “One moment.”

The full moonlight was nothing compared to the smile she gave me.

I reached the small, rundown inn a couple of streets away from that alley for its privacy and minimal patronage, making it safer for our conversation. Entering the dimly lit room, I was greeted by the musty smell of old wood and worn fabric. I closed the door behind us and turned to face Y/N. Before I could say anything, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. “I knew it you were alive,” she murmured against my shoulder, her voice breaking with emotion.

I stood frozen for a moment, the warmth of her embrace seeping through the cold barriers I had built around my heart. Slowly, I raised my arms and returned the hug, my body trembling with the flood of suppressed emotions. “I missed you,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

We pulled back slightly, Y/N’s hands resting gently on my shoulders. Our eyes locked in a tender gaze. “Can you tell me what happened then? What’s been going on?” she murmured softly, concern evident in her voice. I hesitated before shaking my head slightly, guiding her to sit on the worn bed. “I want to hear from you first,” I said quietly. “Tell me what’s been happening with you.”

She nodded and took a deep breath, her eyes searching mine for strength as she began to recount her story. She shared everything—from the night we survived to Aedion and the Rebellion, her training, and her arguments with Darrow, which made me laugh a little; some things never changed. I felt a deep sense of relief at hearing that Aedion was alive and well. It was a comfort to know that amidst all the chaos, someone I cared about was safe and thriving

I did the same right after. I recounted my story in detail—how I survived that night and became Celaena and everything that happened during these years. As I spoke, Y/N’s face clouded with sorrow and regret, her eyes reflecting the weight of my suffering. Her heartache was visible and deepened with each revelation about my life in the Guild and the isolation I endured. Her hand gripped mine tightly, as if trying to hold onto me amidst the flood of emotions. A vivid reminder of our shared past and the emotional cost of our separation.

Y/N’s eyes widened in shock. “I can’t believe you’re Celaena Sardothien,” she breathed, a trembling laugh escaping her. “Earlier tonight, I joked about how someone must be incredibly lucky to find you. Turns out, I was right.”

I nodded, a bitter smile touching my lips as Y/N took in the gravity of my words. “All this time… you were right here, so close yet so distant.”

“I did what I had to do to survive, even if it meant hiding in plain sight.”  I replied, my voice heavy with regret. Y/N reached out, her fingers brushing against mine. "We’ve both paid our prices. But we’re here now and we have a chance to fight back, to reclaim what was lost." I pulled my hand away, the flicker of hope dimming. "I can’t..." Y/N shook her head lightly, looking at me with confusion. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t go with you, Y/N. I’m stuck with the Guild. Arobynn keeps track of every ‘investment’ he makes in me,” I said softly, looking at my hands.

“I can pay. I’ll pay your debt and we’ll go—” Y/N said with determination, but I cut her off with a sigh. “It’s an insane amount of money...” I answered, a bitter taste in my mouth, realizing how much I had spent on whims and quirks.

Y/N went still for a moment, analyzing my features as she said quietly, "Have you ever thought of coming back? Of reclaiming your throne?" I was silent, my expression unreadable. Y/N’s frustration grew as her eyes turned cold. "You never even considered it, did you?"

"I thought no one survived," I tried to explain, my voice strained, still not looking at her. "That's what I was told. That everyone was dead." Y/N grabbed my hand, searching for my eyes, voice fierce.

"But now we know that’s not true. I’m here, Aedion is alive and so are Ren, Darrow - Hell even Maurtaugh is alive! And there’s the rebellion, an army that we’re building for you…” She shook her head, as if trying to understand a puzzle “Does that change anything?"

I looked away, the silence heavy between us. The weight of my choices and fears hung in the air, leaving me speechless. Y/N’s gaze softened but remained resolute “You’re scared that Arobynn will come and report us, right? It’s not because you’ve given up.. isn't it?”

I stood quiet and after what felt like hours, I looked at Y/N, guilt, sadness, and shame evident in my eyes. “Aelin Galathynius is dead.” I whispered. I almost could feel Y/N’s heart wrenched at my words, but she didn’t back down. Her grip tightened on my hand, a mixture of pain and determination in her eyes.

“If she is truly dead, then we'll let her go. But you and I... we’re still here. We can still fight, still reclaim what was lost. Crowned or not” Y/N’s voice wavered but held a steely resolve. “I can’t do this alone, we can’t do this alone. And if you won’t come back for yourself, then come back for the people who still believe in you, in her.”

My eyes flickered with conflicting emotions, my mind racing with the weight of my choices. I swallowed hard as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my ornate dagger. “There’s something I need to give you,” I said softly, handing it to Y/N. “Our necklaces... they’re inside the hilt. I kept them all these years.”

Y/N’s eyes widened as she traced the intricate design of the dagger, her fingers trembling. When she carefully opened the hilt, revealing the hidden necklaces, tears welled up in her eyes. She looked back at me with a mix of relief and sorrow. “I thought I had lost mine,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

A bittersweet smile touched my lips. “It got stuck in my dress that night and fell onto the bed... I couldn’t let go of it. Not completely. Not of you.”

The weight of the moment hung heavily between us, the past and present colliding in a whirlwind of emotions. Y/N stepped closer, her voice barely above a whisper. “If Aelin is gone, then let me say goodbye to her properly.”

The intensity of her gaze held me captive. I felt my heart race as she closed the distance between us. Our breaths mingled, charged with a longing that had been suppressed for far too long. I whispered Y/N’s name as her fingers brushed against my cheek, her touch gentle yet electrifying. “We’ve both been carrying this weight for too long,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Let's just be who we really are, even if just for tonight.” The room seemed to shrink around us, the air heavy with unspoken promises. As she leaned in, I felt the pull of her warmth and the magnetism of her presence. 

Our lips met in a slow, tender kiss—my first ever. Why had I denied myself this connection for so long?—The softness of her lips against mine was both startling and comforting, as if all the years of hidden longing and unspoken passion had found their voice in this single, perfect moment. Her hands gently traveled through my hair, caressing the back of my neck and resting on my waist, as if trying to memorize this moment. I responded in kind, my fingers brushing her cheek, slipping into her hair, and exploring the contours of her back. The kiss deepened, a dance of passion and vulnerability, filled with the weight of what could have been and the hope of what might still be. 

Our kiss lingered, a bittersweet testament to what we had lost and what might still be. When we finally parted, breathless and trembling, I looked into her eyes, seeing the raw emotion that mirrored my own. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice thick with undeniable sincerity, her fingers caressing my cheeks. “I’ll be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes. So please... think about what I’ve offered.”

My resolve wavered for just a moment as I took a step back, the storm of emotions threatening to consume me. "I can't go with you," I said, my voice barely a whisper but cutting through the silence like a knife. "There's too much at stake. And If I stay any longer, the Guild will notice. They'll come after you and then after the rebellion.." Each word felt like a dagger to my heart, but I forced myself to continue as I shook my head. "I can’t."

The pain in her eyes was almost unbearable, and I felt my heart shatter in response. "So that's it, then?" Her voice cracked, filled with a bitterness that stung more than any blade. "You're staying here while I... I just leave?"

My eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "I'm sorry. This is the only way I can keep you safe." She nodded, her expression a mix of disbelief and sorrow. "Okay," she managed to say, though the word sounded hollow, devoid of hope. "I understand."

The finality of it hung between us, a suffocating weight. I watched her as she took a deep breath, looked at the dagger in her hands and stood up; Walking towards the door, each step she took felt like a piece of my soul was being torn away. 

The silence behind her was deafening, and with each step, the distance between us grew wider. As the door closed, I fought the urge to call out to her, to change my mind, to run after her and leave everything behind. But I knew I couldn't. I sank onto the hollow bed, the ache of her absence a fierce, unrelenting force. Each breath felt like a struggle as I felt my eyes tear up. What a painful reminder of lost possibilities. 

I took my time to build my walls again, to put on the mask of savagery and cruelty that for so long has been mine. When I finally stood up, the numbness that enveloped me was profound, my steps heavy as I left the inn behind, stepping into a world that felt colder than ever. 

Author’s note: I tried to keep close to the character but I think I’ve failed :/

It was tricky, since Celaena has a push and pull behavior with “new” people and only opens up after a 'life or death' situation (as we see with Sam and some scenes with Ansel in AB) while Aelin it is in fact more in touch with her feelings (but still a keeper of them) and tends to show her vulnerable side at first to her family (like after rescuing Aedion in QoS and her first encounter with Elide in EoS). My idea was to demonstrate the Celaena/Aelin egos clashing but I think it didn't work.

But please have faith in me and I promise you that the good stuff is about to come. Just give me like two more chapters (maybe one) and you’ll hear a jealous hawk screeching and too many people living under the same roof :D

Thank you for all the reblogs and likes, it means the world to me <3

Tag List (omg my first taglist aknsjd)

@acourtofbatboydreams @throneofsapphics

[d1sc0-1nfern0]

HEY! MINORS ON THE INTERNET! FANDOM BIG SIBLING TALK TIME GATHER ROUND!!

So you know how we, the adults, are constantly telling you to watch what you’re putting in your heads? To be wary of what music you listen to, what shows you watch, what content you engage with?

It’s not about gatekeeping or keeping you from having fun or babying you. We have actual, legit reasons. And it super important. Please please listen.

Coming from someone who started consuming VASTLY age-inappropriate content at the ripe age of 11- you don’t realize how it affects you. I would’ve always been aroace, but I might not have been a ✨traumatized✨ aroace who despises a lot of the shit in my head.

Yeah, some people will only be slightly impacted. Some might not notice the impact at all. But for some of us it will deeply affect our psyches in ways that will negatively impact us for the rest of our lives.

I have really really gross things up in my brain now that is going to take years to get out if I ever can. Thought patterns and daydreams that make my skin crawl. And it’s 100% from the content I consumed at a young age.

Your young mind is absorbing information like a sponge and storing it away- that’s why you learn things faster than an adult. Your brain is developing and snatching up everything it can to make sense of the world and putting nsfw content in there is going to leave a trace. It’s going to affect your outlook, your behavior, your thought patterns, even if you don’t notice it.

So please for the love of everything- listen when we tell you to be careful. Pay attention to what you’re putting in your brain. Indulge your hobbies, learn all the new skills, have all the cool experiences, try all the different things. But protect yourself first and foremost. <3

I love each and every one of you so very much, and I’m not just saying that!! If any of you need to talk, I am available to be a supportive-yet-reasonable internet big sib for whoever needs it. (I will love you to the ends of the earth and also bonk you on the head when you’re being a dumbass <3).

[If my fellow adults could reblog this so your minor followers could see it that’d be great. And tag it with your fandoms because I can’t get them all- I’m in like 2.]

[blind0demon]

Lucky Interruption

Summary: You walk in on your Colonel Miles Quaritch being busy with himself and decide to help him out with his problem.

Pairing: Na'vi! Miles Quaritch x Na'vi! Female! Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3,6K

Author's Note: This fanfic is the reason why I'm going to hell. (Literally came  up with the idea ten minutes into the movie and left the cinema knowing  that I had to write this down.)

"Out of the way, dwarfs" You  shouted before nearly colliding with a woman walking past you, making  all of her documents fall on the ground. Should've listened to me, you  thought to yourself as you continued walking while occasionally taking a  sip from your recom breather. You had to get used to your new body as  an Avatar and having to walk past humans twice as short as you wasn't  the easiest task.

However, it did make you feel superior to them.  As a human you weren't exactly the tallest woman in the RDA so it was a  nice change. Maybe you were a bit bluer, but you didn't really mind. All  that mattered was that you weren't dead anymore and that was the most  important thing. In addition, you were stronger and faster.

Your  feet dragged you through the building, searching for a room owned by  Miles Quaritch who is about to see your face for the first time this  morning. You bet that he won't be happy about it and it made you grin.  You were always quite a teaser no matter the people and situation. Some  loved talking to you and some despised being around you. That was just  your charm.

After a few minutes of walking, you finally made it to  your destination and without a second thought opened the door and  walked into the tiny corridor towards the white room. Normally, you're  expected to knock but it's not like you're going to walk in on someone…  touching themselves. Your wide yellow eyes met the same scared ones as  you and Miles Quaritch stared at each other in horror without saying a  word. He was sitting on the bed with his manhood wrapped around his  large hand, clearly telling you what he was doing just a few seconds  ago.

Your face immediately turned purple. "Oh my Lord, I've seen  nothing" You yelled out, while quickly turning away and returning to the  door. "No, wait (L/N)!" The man shouted after you while fixing his  trousers. "Look man, everybody needs to take off some tension once in a  while. Let's just pretend that nothing had happened" You murmured  awkwardly, still facing him with your back and nervously playing with  the metal pendant wrapped around your neck.

You could hear him  cursing under his breath and walking nervously around the room in  silence. "What were you even doing in my room? Your parents had neven  taught you how to knock on doors?" Quaritch growled in your direction,  making you turn towards him with an angered expression. You weren't  surprised catching him like this, you're used to seeing dicks. After  all, you have to see his face everyday.

"Excuse me, usually I  don't walk in on people playing with themselfs at seven in the morning"  You retaliated at him. "What even were you masturbading to? The wall?"  You joked maliciously. "That's none of your business and you better show  me more respect, Lieutenant" The man threatened, taking a few steps  towards your figure. As usual, he's letting you know that you are  beneath him which always pissed you off. You knew he hated you, but it  didn't stop you from teasing him. Human or Na'vi, he was equally  adorable when he was angry.

"Well then, I'm leaving you alone.  Just don't get mad at me when you get in trouble because I didn't tell  you why I came here in the first place" You said with a smile and slowly  made your way towards the exit. "(L/N), hold up" Miles shouted after  you, before taking a hold of your wrist, making you stop in your tracks.  "Let's not argue at the beginning of the day. Just tell me why you're  here" He said tiredly. As much as you wanted to argue with him a little  more, you did feel sorry for him.

Being in a situation that he was  in, he must've felt rather uncomfortable knowing that you've seen him  at his most vulnerable state. "It's fine, I will let you know about  everything but first, how about we take care of a different problem" You  suggested as your eyes traveled down his tall figure towards his pants  where his still hard friend was hiding. "I don't have time for your  games, (F/N)" Miles quickly caught up to what you meant and took a step  back. "I'm serious" You could tell that he had a difficult time  remaining calm when you noticed his pupils dilated and ears slightly  tilted back.

It turned you on and you decided to join in on the  fun. "You know, I also wanted to find out everything about my new body  when I became a recom. It's alright to be curious" You reassured him  seductively as your finger ran across the tattoo resting on his left  arm. Quaritch still seemed unsure so you continued. "I could make you  feel things you haven't felt in your entire lifetime. After all, we've  been alive for only a month"

The Avatar seemed to fall under your  spell when you pressed yourself against his body, your lips only a few  inches away from each other. "You know that relationships like this only  lead to trouble" Miles said nervously, feeling your warmth radiating  onto him and your hand traveling dangerously close to where he wanted  you the most right now. His body language as a Na'vi was so easy to  read. He couldn't help his tail nervously sweeping or ears twitching.  Despite him saying no, you knew what he really meant.

"We're both  adults and as long as no one's opening their mouth, nothing has ever  happened. Besides, why would nature give us the ability to feel ecstasy  if we aren't allowed to feel it?" Your words turned into a whisper and   Quaritch cursed out loud before slamming his lips into yours and pushing  you against the wall.

You immediately kissed back, enjoying the subtle force he was using to keep you from escaping, as if you wanted   to. Your tongues were exploring each other in a heated dance. He quickly  took off your recom breather who had no use in his room and only stood  in his way and started to kiss your neck. As much as you enjoyed the   pleasure you were receiving, you pushed the Na'vi away from you, leaving  him confused.

"How about I take care of you first?" You   suggested, kneeling down in front of him with a grin. "Are you sure you want this?" The man asked, still astonished by the boldness of your   actions. "No biggie, Colonel. But there are three rules. First, you can tug on my hair but try not to rip it out of my scalp. Second, don't   force me to deepthroat unless you want to feel these fangs on your   little friend and third, get as loud as you want. I enjoy it" You   explained smiling at the end, before taking off his pants alongside his underwear.

Your short make out session made him fully ready again,  so you decided to go straight to war and take him in your mouth. You  could hear him growl above you as his hand instinctively took a hold of  your head. You kissed the tip of his manhood and twirled your tongue  around him, enjoying the taste of your Colonel.

You began to move  up and down his shaft, trying to fit him as deep as you could while your  hand moved along the parts you couldn't reach yet. "Oh fuck, (F/N).  You're making me lose my mind" Miles cursed out while breathing heavily,  his eyes clouded with lust as you worked down on him. Despite arguing  with him, you did dream a few times about choking on his manhood but you  wouldn't have imagined that this could actually happen.

Knowing  that you're beneath him and at his mercy only added to the arousal you  felt in your lower parts. Miles could fuck you right now and you   would've been ready wet like an ocean for him. You looked up to see him grunting and staring down at you as your skilled tongue caused wonders to his body. Quaritch's hand would have never done anything as   pleasurable as your mouth.

You gagged when his hips instinctively thrusted into you and your orbs sent daggers into his in annoyance.   "Sorry, cupcake" The Avatar breathed out, his mouth slightly agape from the delight he was experiencing. You bat an eye on him and continued   your magic. You might have practiced with a recom before and that's most  likely the reason why you made Miles lose himself. Practice makes a   master. After a minute his tip was already hitting the back of your   throat as you deepthroated him like a champion. He was a bit bigger to   take so it took you a while to get used to him but the noises Quaritch   made were worth the sacrifice.

He would've never grunted like this  on the battlefield so you tried to memorize every second of this   experience. "Shit, I'm close" Miles warned you as his large hands   massaged your scalp with every move. You decided to quicken your pace   even more and deliver him the best orgasm he'd ever had in both of his   lifes. A moment later Quaritch reached his bliss with a growl as his   member painted your throat white with its content that you gladly   swallowed.

When he was done, you stood up and smiled, seeing how   much you destroyed him. His face and shoulders were glistening with   sweat, his pupils dilated and his mouth slightly open. "You're   incredible" Miles whispered, as you put your hands on both sides of his face, admiring him. "Thanks" You said with a smile, before your mouths met again. His lips tasted sweeter with every second and you slowly grew  addicted to kissing him more and more.

You let out a yelp when  you felt Quaritch lift you up and lay you on the table next to you. His  hands reached underneath your shirt and lifted it above your hands to  later toss it on the floor. You smirked as his skilled fingers quickly  got rid of your bra as well, leaving your chest bare for him to admire.  "You will be the death of me, (F/N)" The man growled before leaning in  to suck and lick your neck while his hands played with your breasts.  "Fuck" You hissed at the sensation, wrapping your legs around his narrow  waist.

You could feel him getting hard again even if he just  reached his finish a moment ago as his manhood poked against your  clothed entrance. Your charm does have an effect on him after all. The  fingertips of your hands ran across his back and your body felt as if it  was on fire, ready to explode. "Oh God, just fuck me already" You  growled in his ear, bored with the foreplay and eager to finally get him  inside of you. Miles stopped in his tracks to glare at you before  standing up and flipping you on your stomach. "What are you doing?" You  asked surprised but also excited at the sudden change of positions.

A  gasp left your lips when the man took a hold of your queue and lifted  your head by your braid. "It's 'fuck me, Colonel'. Seems like I need to  put you back in your place" Quaritch said with a deep tone, causing a  shiver to run down your spine at his sudden rise of confidence. I could  take some discipline, you thought to yourself as your lips formed a  devilish grin when you felt him take off your pants along with your  underwear.

You were now fully exposed at his mercy and you loved  every second of it. The Na'vi took his manhood in his hand and slid the  tip along your entry, making you tremble and even wetter than before.  Heavy breaths left your lips as you watched him tease you while smiling  at your vulnerable state. "Don't worry about hurting me, this body's no  longer a virgin" You reassured him, laughing at his confused expression.  "You became an Avatar a month ago and you've already slept with a  recom? Who was that?" He asked indignantly. "That's my secret" You  answered, giving him the sweetest smile to which he only shook his head  in resignation.

At least you spared yourself the additional pain  you would get when he'd start rearranging your insides and you knew that  it would feel amazing. A moan escaped your lips when Quaritch finally  entered you without a warning, forcing your body to accept his lovely  invitation. You closed your mouth with your hand, trying to deafen the  embarrassing sounds coming out of you as your walls hugged him tightly.

You  turned your head in his direction and wondered why he wasn't moving  only to notice Miles looking at you as if asking for permission to  continue. Despite him being a dick, you found it sweet of him to wait  and let you adjust to his size. Your happiness quickly ended however,  when he began to thrust into you, but at a torturous slow pace. At this  speed, you would have an orgasm in eight hours. "Could you go faster?"  You asked slightly irritated, still facing the desk you were laying on.

"What  did I tell you about respecting me?" Quaritch growled, still keeping  his slow tempo. You cursed him out in your mind, knowing that you had to  oblige him if you wanted to feel better, so you played along. "Could  you go faster, Colonel?" You repeat yourself but this time addressing  him properly. "I know you can do better" The man answered, slowing down   even more to the point where you couldn't take it anymore as you felt   the pleasure disappearing from your body.

The Na'vi pressed his   chest against your back, listening to your rapid breathing as you forced  yourself to keep as calm as you could, mostly to no avail. "Oh God,   please fuck me, Colonel! I want you to screw me over till I won't be   able to walk!" You whined, feeling absolutely pathetic in front of him. You had no idea how he managed to keep himself collected while you   barely held onto yourself. What a bastard. "Wasn't so hard, was it?"   Quaritch teased in your ear when he finally gave you what you   desperately needed and started to slam his hips into yours.

Waves of ecstasy immediately hit your body like a train and you bit your lower  lip, holding back a moan. Your tail was swaying like crazy as you  curled your hands into fists, having nothing to grab on. Your eyes   rolled in the back of your skull of how good he felt hitting all the   right spots inside of you with each strong thrust. A surprise squeal   leaves your mouth when you feel the man's canines sink into your   shoulder, a little too hard for your liking.

He must've forgotten that Na'vi teeth are sharper than humans. "Fuck you, Miles" You hissed annoyingly, hearing him laugh behind you at your reaction. "Looks like I'm the one who's fucking you, Lieutenant" Quaritch concluded before   standing up and taking a hold of the back of your neck and forcing your head on the desk. His other hand lifted your hips slightly, making you stand on your toes so he could thrust into you at a sharper angle,   hitting you even deeper than before.

You groaned in pleasure at   his change in pace and position but you knew that he did this because   you disrespected him again. You didn't mind it though. You were a brat   and he was a brat tamer. Instead of a recom you should consider changing  your job to become his personal fuck toy. Despite Quaritch hitting your  cervix with almost every move, you didn't care about the pain following  him as he also gave you waves of ecstasy that mixed alongside the  discomfort.

If you told him that it hurt you a little, he would  definitely stop but you didn't want this ride to end, not till you reach  your own finish. You took a look at the Na'vi and wondered what he felt  at that moment. He'll probably regret hitting up with a recom in the  next two hours but now his mind is most likely too occupied chasing his  desire rather than thinking clearly. You could tell by the look on his  handsome face as he growled like an animal in heat, fucking you into  oblivion.

After a moment of this sinful act, you could start to  feel your climax approaching which was rather rare considering the fact  that most of your previous partners assumed that they could make you  finish just by humping you like actors do in adult movies. Well, they  are called actors for a reason, but now you could actually sense the  knot tightening in your stomach about to burst if you could just  stimulate yourself a little more. So, you shifted your arm to rub your  bundle of nerves but before you could do it, Miles's hand stopped you  from doing anything.

"Since you've done a great job before, it's  my time to return the favor" He said and took the initiative to circle  your sensitive flesh with his fingertips, adding to the already  pulsating pleasure. You loved him with your entire hearth at that moment  for making you feel this excruciatingly good. You were almost ready to  forgive him for acting like an asshole all the time.

Your hair  strands stuck to your forehead and you kept your eyes shut while  Quaritch played you like an instrument, controlling every sound that  came out of your lips. You could've sworn that you've lost all the  feeling in your legs for a moment. After a moment of torture, your  climax finally washed over you as you muffled the awkward noises coming  out of you, relieved to finally experience the feeling of ecstacy.

The  man rode you through your orgasm and continued chasing his own, sensing  it approaching as well just by looking at your devastated form. You  loved the overstimulation that he was giving when he used you for his  own desires. Your walls tightened around his member even more since  you've reached your finish, making it harder for him to move but also  giving him additional stimulation. Coming to his room unannounced was  your best idea this day.

You watched him come undone above you, as  he swiftly got out of you to paint your back with his seed. His muscles  stiffened, as Quaritch tried to catch his breath while rubbing the back  of your neck in a comforting gesture. Both of you stayed like this for a  moment, attempting to collect yourselves from the activity, none of you  saying a word to each other. "You were good for your first time in a  new body" You murmured with a smirk, breaking the silence.

Miles  smiled back at you before getting up and taking a towel from the  bathroom to clean your bodies. "If anyone finds out about it, we're  screwed" He joked after finishing his task. "You think that nobody in  this facility sleeps with one another? I could find something for  anybody if I wanted to" You laughed and sat up on the desk, still naked  while the man was already dressed up.

You couldn't trust yourself  to get on your feet at that moment. "Still mad at me for coming in  without a warning?" You asked while swinging your legs in the air  lazily. "Let's say that I forgive you for disrespecting me this once,  but another time things won't be this easy, (F/N)" Quaritch told you,  crossing his arms with a secretive smile on his face. "There will be  another time?" You asked surprised with an inch of hope in your voice.

Now,  that you were thinking about it, spending every morning as Miles's play  toy wasn't such a bad idea, you could get used to it. "Don't start with   your games again. Just tell me why you came here in the first place" He said in a serious tone and took a few steps towards your form. "Oh,   right. Commander asked to see you in half an hour, that's all" You   answered casually, before furrowing your eyebrows and looking at the   clock hanging in the room. "Some time did pass since we got busy, now   you have like five minutes left" You concluded awkwardly, rubbing your   neck, making him stare at you in shock.

You gave him an apologetic  smile before he cursed under his breath and quickly walked away to take  his recom breather and turned towards the exit. He should really hurry  up if the way from his room to the commander's office was around ten  minutes on foot. "I want you gone when I come back and put some clothes  on you, woman" Quaritch growled tiredly, pointing at you as you laughed  at his misery.

"Wait!" You yelled before he could open the door,  making him turn in your direction in concern. "If you even feel lonely,  my room is always open for you. You don't need to knock" You said  seductively. Miles rolled his eyes at your words before winking at you  with a smile and leaving you alone. You smirked to yourself at the  thought of seeing him soon on another mission, trying to pretend that  nothing has ever happened between the two of you this morning. But you  know that your new relationship is just beginning to blossom and you  couldn't wait to interrupt your Colonel once again.