#but there is a thing in noticing!!! where kids or adults realize they don’t align with how the world views their gender

[bagelbucket]

bold take we aren’t ready for is that people think they’re trans just because they don’t align with society’s “ideal” gender roles when in fact it’s just their personality. or because of internalized biphobia.

[unavailableapple]

Excuse me for coming to your askbox, I am not a radfem and don't agree with a lot of it's principles, yet I find radfem spaces are the only place where discussion of nonbinary identity has any nuance. Personally I have no problem with people doing whatever they want with their own bodies/minds/labels but I did struggle to wrap my head around just how many people started IDing as nonbinary during the last few years. Now recently it's been a bit of the opposite, with a noticeable amount of previously out and proud nonbinary people dropping the label. I've heard some people discuss it like it was just "in fashion" for a while, while others insist it's a result of gender experimentation or having to go back in the closet due to the political climate. But it's not just the young, I noticed that includes some of the first nb people I knew, who were nonbinary before 2020, hell, before 2015. I know you had a similar experience, so I just wanted to hear your opinion on this whole phenomenon, why it's happening and why now, and if you expect the trend to continue?

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot and honestly the short answer is: I’m not sure.

The long answer:

I think that these things come in waves. Think about BBL surgery (Brazilian butt-lift surgery). When that surgery was really popular, I’m sure it felt like a very real need to the women who got it. Similarly, my nonbinary identity felt very real to me. But once you apply any amount of pressure to either of these, they start to break. Because really what does it mean to be nonbinary? Why do I NEED to express myself as nonbinary? Why does she NEED to have a large posterior? Eventually you realize, it is misogyny. That’s all it is. And then the whole thing falls apart…Aside from that, even if you don’t acknowledge the misogyny, these things are ultimately superficial and, as such, fall away once one reaches a certain point of adulthood.

I don’t mean adulthood as in becoming an adult human I mean adulthood as in a certain level of struggle that makes fanciful discussions of pronouns seem taxing. Eventually real life catches up and you don’t feel like wasting your precious free time thinking about whether you use they, she, he, or meow pronouns. I think the lasting effects of COVID have meant terrible things for the general public and a lot of people are struggling to pay rent or afford food. I know that what first made me stop caring about pronouns was when I was homeless and thought a lot more about finding a safe place to sleep than making sure everyone calls me he/meow/it pronouns.

Then I think there’s the climate of the trans community right now. When I was younger, there was an idea of, “Being trans is equally hard for males AND females”. But now the dominant narrative seems to be that trans identified males have it a thousand times harder being trans and trans identified females face no oppression at all. I do think this drives more trans identified females out of trans spaces and leads them to find more community with other women. This was the case for several of my friends. Once the trans community told them, “You don’t face any oppression” even though they did (by right of being female), they stopped feeling aligned with a nonbinary identity and suddenly realized they felt more aligned with being female, on the basis of shared experiences.

Finally, it could genuinely just be that it’s falling out of fashion. I’m of an era where I, like a lot of young women my age, was the froggy jumper round glasses meow/it pronoun using boyflux aligned aroace nonbinary person and that was in style. Nowadays kids on TikTok make fun of that and it’s much less “in”. Recently Mitski cut her hair short and people started calling her “theyfab”. For the uninitiated, theyfab is a rude term the trans community uses for a female person who identifies as nonbinary, especially if she doesn’t do anything to express this nonbinary identity beyond cutting her hair. They were not trying to “affirm” Mitski, they were making fun of her for being a gender nonconforming woman, and they were making fun of the women who identify as nonbinary. No matter what, it’s always “in” to make fun of women so if a lot of women are identifying as nonbinary, it’s going to be “in” to make fun of them and it is. On pinterest, Nonbinary identities are already being relegated to “2010s nostalgia” the way moustache tattoos on pointer fingers are “2000s nostalgia”, these things come and go.

So yeah, I ultimately don’t know, and these are only a couple among my many many MANY different theories. But based on my own experience and the experiences of people I know, this is what I’ve been thinking.

[seemycee]

🦢 𝙈𝙀𝙍𝘾𝙐𝙍𝙔 𝙎𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙎𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉: 𝘿𝙀𝘽𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙁 🦢

• so here we are again having another debrief this time about the aspect “mercury squared saturn”. i have a lot to say about her, so i suggest you get comfortable cause i will be rambling. as always i’m writing from my own perspective of having this as my tightest aspect. of course you may not 100% align with what i’m saying cause charts differ, but i’m always writing from a place of being informative and just good ole fun. picture me and this post as a fish, tumblr as my fishbowl and you guys are observing me and my behavior. for context, my 6h aquarius mercury is squaring my 9h taurus saturn.

• out of all my aspects i have in my chart i think this is the hardest, and i have so many so you know i’m serious. people who have this aspect are one the highest strongest soldiers, especially the ones who haven’t overcame it and still manage to exist. 

• this aspect manifested in my life in such a strange way and out of nowhere. when i was a child, i had a very high-pitched voice. not the normal young squeaky little kid voice. it gave very much did you suck the helium out of balloons every morning??? this probably has more to do with my aquarius mercury conjunct uranus, but i’m painting a picture for you guys. mostly a lot of people liked my voice minus my father, and a few kids in my school. who assumed i was putting on a voice and should’ve grown out of said voice at 10???

• so because the constant harassment of my voice, i started speaking in a more soft-spoken tone, as not to draw attention to my voice. then on top of that, i wouldn’t talk much so when i started attending middle school people assumed i was shy when in fact, i was the furthest thing from shy. but the thought of publicly speaking, after being judged, so harshly at a young age, gave me really bad anxiety. that i just recently overcame at 21 years old.

• having this aspect 🫱🏾‍🫲🏼 being highly critical of yourself. this hit me like a ton of bricks because mercury is my chart ruler plus i’m a virgo rising so you know, every little thing about myself, i hated. especially during my hormonal teenage years. i used to constantly have this nervous tick where i would pull my shirt back into place after it started bunching up. another one i had where i’m constantly brushing my eyebrow back into place. i always thought people were looking at me. so in my head, i thought trying to be perfect. all the time would spare me being judged.

• the constant, putting myself down was another big one with this aspect. i ruined so many opportunities for myself when i was younger. i let the thoughts of being inadequate get too loud and scare me. i could be 100% qualified to do something, and i would somehow still think i’m completely unqualified to do it. even with people gassing me up. which i hate now as an adult cause, i don’t even think twice about doing something now. 

• like most things touched by saturn. things got better overtime. being insecure about every little thing forced me to work harder and perfect my crafts. funny thing is it took me working in the real world and dealing with people 24/7. for me to be able to shed my anxious skin of my teen self. cause.

1. started to realize nobody cared and we all have our own issues we’re dealing with

2. started noticing people don’t perceive me the way i perceive myself

3. i was caught up in a outdated way of viewing myself that i didn’t notice the change and development of myself

• on a lighter note another way this aspect manifested for me is me being a history nut. i love all types of history, especially music history. i’m like a human shazam. think of the most obscure song playing in a store and i bet you, i can name the artist performing the song and give you details about their career. i also consume an unhealthy amount of history content from youtube. mainly old true crime and beauty practices from different time periods.

• also another thing i noticed with this aspect is not being able to share your ideas. i remember wanting to contribute to certain things then going never mind because i thought my ideas were dumb. then having people pull my teeth to get me to share and be blown away with said ideas. ex: all my friends up here in ny make drill music or r&b music. then you have me over here going against the grain composing new wave/post disco music which is just disco music without the beat overpowering the vocals. i’ve been doing this in private for weeks and i didn’t wanna share it with my friends or mother cause i didn’t think it was urban enough and that it was a silly idea that wasn’t gonna go anywhere and i just fall back into writing regular r&b music. i ended up telling them cause i like new wave a lot more than r&b music and i’m passionate about it. they actually liked the direction i’m going in, so it wasn’t silly idea after all.

• lastly i was so late to social media in terms of taking pictures of myself and posting them online. omg i used to hate the idea of even exposing myself in that manner. my friend literally had to beg me to join instagram, now all i do is over share and post my outfits. this makes sense since mercury deals with social media and saturn with delays and restrictions. i was already on internet for a long time and had a lot of notoriety on twitter during the mid to late 10s but nobody knew “me” cause i didn’t wanna be known as myself. even when i did start posting myself i started comparing myself to other people and it got bad so quick. i literally used to build up my instagrams just to delete them when i got self conscious. my friends used to hate that cause i used to get a lot of likes and would promote them. *in my gwen stafani voice* : i’m just a girl 🥲

𝙄𝙉 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉

• even though this is a very mentally taxing aspect there’s still a lot of positive that it creates once you learn your worth and see your power. i went from being very unsure of myself and constantly self sabotaging cause of intrusive thoughts. to now being fully confident in myself and everything that i do. due to me working and constantly bettering myself as a person. that’s not an easy thing to do but it’s not impossible and everyone will get there at their own pace. 🫂

© seemy cee all rights reserved 2023

[integritydental]

TEETH GRINDING IN CHILDREN: HOW TO STOP IT

G’day, wonderful parents of Baulkham Hills! If you’ve noticed your little ones making unusual grinding sounds at night or even during the day, you’re not alone. One of the most common concerns among children is teeth grinding, also known as bruxism. But fear not, because Integrity Dental is here to guide you through this dental dilemma and provide the best dental care services in Baulkham Hills to put a stop to it. In this blog, we will tackle teeth grinding in children, understand its causes, and learn effective strategies to prevent and treat it.

UNDERSTANDING TEETH GRINDING IN CHILDREN

Imagine the sound of a train slowly coming to a halt — that’s a bit like the sound of teeth grinding. It’s the gnashing, clenching, and sliding of teeth against each other, often without the child even realizing it. Although the exact reason for bruxism isn’t always known, it’s thought to be a combination of things like stress, crooked teeth, and even some medical issues.

THE CONCERNS OF UNTREATED BRUXISM

Although teeth grinding may appear harmless, if left untreated, it can result in a variety of dental problems. These concerns include:

Tooth Damage: The constant grinding can wear down tooth enamel, leading to tooth sensitivity, chips, and fractures.

Jaw Pain: Bruxism can cause discomfort in the jaw, leading to headaches and even pain in the ears and face.

Sleep Disruptions: Both the child and those sharing a room might have their sleep disturbed by the grinding sounds, affecting everyone’s rest.

Misaligned Teeth: Continued teeth grinding can actually contribute to misaligned or crooked teeth.

Gum Problems: The pressure from grinding can inflame and damage the gums.

BEST DENTAL CARE SERVICES IN BAULKHAM HILLS: YOUR SOLUTION TO BRUXISM

It’s important to find dental care services in Baulkham Hills you can trust. Integrity Dental is one of the best in the area to protect your child’s oral health and providing effective bruxism treatment choices.

PREVENTION AND TREATMENT STRATEGIES

Stress Management: Just like adults, children can experience stress too. Consider discovering appropriate coping mechanisms for stress if it contributes to your child’s bruxism. Before going to bed, practice relaxing activities like reading or deep breathing.

Nighttime Routine: Establish a relaxing bedtime routine that helps signal to your child that it’s time to wind down. This could involve doing something relaxing like taking a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to music.

Dental Evaluation: Schedule a visit to Integrity Dental for a thorough dental evaluation. Our specialists will look at your child’s teeth to see if there are any dental problems that might be causing the bruxism, such as tooth misalignment.

Custom Mouthguards: For children who grind their teeth at night, a custom-fitted mouthguard can be incredibly helpful. By serving as a barrier, these devices shield teeth from the forces of grinding and minimise damage.

Orthodontic Treatment: In cases where misaligned teeth are contributing to the bruxism, orthodontic treatment might be recommended. To correct the alignment of teeth, braces or other dental equipment may be used.

Counselling: If stress or anxiety seems to be the root cause of the bruxism, consider seeking professional counselling to help your child manage their emotions.

Positive Reinforcement: Encourage your child to be aware of the grinding and try to consciously avoid it. Offer praise and rewards for nights when they successfully avoid grinding their teeth.

TAKING ACTION FOR A HEALTHY SMILE

It is our duty as parents to see to it that our kids’ dental health is taken care of. Don’t let teeth grinding compromise their beautiful smiles and overall well-being. With the best dental care services in Baulkham Hills provided by Integrity Dental, you’re giving your child the gift of a healthy, pain-free future.

Teeth grinding might be common among children, but it’s not something to be ignored. You may guarantee that your child’s dental health is maintained in top condition by taking proactive measures and being aware of the reasons, hazards, and prevention methods. With Integrity Dental by your side, you’re accessing the best dental care services in Baulkham Hills, guaranteeing your child receives the expert attention and treatment they deserve. Say goodbye to the worries of teeth grinding and hello to a future filled with healthy, radiant smiles!

Ready to put an end to your child’s teeth grinding and ensure their dental health is in expert hands? Look no further than Integrity Dental in Baulkham Hills. To meet your child’s specific needs, our committed team is here to offer the best dental care services.

Don’t let bruxism compromise their smile and well-being. Schedule a visit today to take the first step towards a healthier, happier future for your child’s oral health.

Remember, a brighter smile begins with a proactive choice — and that choice starts with Integrity Dental. Give your child the gift of a pain-free smile and the confidence that comes with it. Our friendly staff is available to assist you at every turn, assuring your child’s comfort and safety at all times.

Book your appointment now and let’s work together to stop teeth grinding in its tracks. Because your child’s smile is worth every effort, and at Integrity Dental, we are committed to making that smile shine brighter than ever.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Last Mimzy (2007)

I’ll give The Last Mimzy a mild recommendation, but only for young viewers. It contains tried-and-true elements that are sure to delight kids. It also features noticeably weak performances and a plot with some serious logical issues.

In the distant future, an ecological disaster has destroyed the world. Humanity's genetic code has become corrupted by pollutants. A desperate scientist has been sending probes to the past to obtain untainted genetic material and save the future. When Noah (Chris O’Neil) and Emma (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) Wilder discover a stuffed rabbit, they have no idea “Mimzy” is much more than a toy. Soon, it causes them to develop genius-level intelligence, telekinesis, and telepathic abilities. Their parents aren’t the only ones who notice the changes in their behaviour.

When one actor is bad in a movie, it’s on them. In this case, both the kids are unconvincing but they’re kids. That’s fine. The young’ns in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone were rough around the edges once in a while too. The issue goes beyond them, however. Even the adults have at least one or two bad line deliveries. At that point, you don’t blame them; you blame the director. Robert Shaye is primarily known for his work as a producer and it shows.

There are many scenes where this movie gets its “kids befriend an alien/robot” plot right. Everyone freaks out at least once when they realize what the kids can powers Mimzy has granted them. Even Noah is taken aback when things get really crazy. Some adults, like Noah’s science teacher Mr. White (Rainn Wilson) is filled with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. These genuine reactions allow you to get immersed in the story. Perhaps enough to ignore some of the stuff that doesn’t make much sense.

When you think about it, the future scientist’s plan is terrible. It’s no wonder none of the drones have returned to the future with the information they need because Mimzy can’t talk. It can’t tell anyone what it needs. It can’t even move! All it can do is sit there and hope someone discovers it. Then, if all the stars align and it's a February 29th, they will also somehow figure out what it wants. If you can buy that this was the best way to restore humanity, then you can buy the very friendly and easy-going FBI agent (Michael Clarke Duncan) and the scene where the kids steal a car and go on an hours-long drive no trouble. I don't know why the climax had to be set so far away.

Ultimately, The Last Mimzy is a pale version of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. There is value in this gentle, family-friendly feature even with its numerous unpolished elements and overcomplicated story but my recommendation is more of an "if it's playing on TV or your kids point it out to you, then yes you should let them watch it" than a "seek it out". (September 18, 2020)

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms pt3

Part 2 right here! <-

Team RWBY continue their interesting chat about their respective worlds. After the emotional roller coaster that was Weiss’s, a bit of light hearted stories would be welcomed.

Yang:Okay, does anyone have some real feel good things to talk about for their world? Just run of the mill pleasant life?

Ruby:Guess I’m going last....

Yang:Oh no!

Weiss:We’ll circle back to you then. Blake, I guess you’re up.

Blake:Wouldn’t you want calmer stuff at the end?

Yang:Blake, I would very much like to go at least ten minutes without wanting to cry.

Blake:Hmmmm I can guarantee you like...six I think.

Yang:I’ll take it! Blake Belladonna, tell me about a world where you and Jaune Arc are happily married. How did such stars align?

Blake:You make it sound crazy?

Weiss:Blake, there’s list of people I could see you with. Now I’m not saying Jaune couldn’t be one of them, but he’d have to fight his way up that list.

Blake:You...that’s kinda fair. It’s a bit hard to explain really. It happened back at Beacon initially, or our bonding did. Some days his team was busy and I didn’t tag along for the crazy antics you three wanted to do all the time, so we occasionally bumped into each by circumstances. He’d go to the library for a book, I’d do training and he was there, or sometimes he’d knock on our door and not realize I was the only one around.

Weiss:Was he trying to sing to me?

Blake:That plan did show up at our a few times, yes. One of those times I asked him out of nowhere to sing the song anyways because I just had to know if it was any good. Hehe, it wasn’t sonically pleasing at times, but you could tell it was genuine. Eventually though...he just sort of gave up on you. It was actually a little sad to see, even you thought so. It was strange. Jaune was definitely stumbling through his flirting and it came off as childish, yet the day he gave up, it was easy to see his heart was breaking a bit. Like all his insecurities ate even the faux confidence away.

Yang:Ma’am, it has barely been three minutes and I’m getting sad about thinking of Jaune being sad.

Weiss:Yeah don’t tell me I broke his heart!

Blake:Whoops, sorry. It’s important though. Jaune kinda kept to himself a little more after that. He still chatted pretty regularly but it was easy to tell he dived more in studies as a way to keep his head clear, which lead to us being on a project together. I was the only person in our friend group that wouldn’t actively try to make him open up about how he feeling. At first I thought it was a bit rude when he told me that, but I didn’t room to talk when it comes to socializing.

Yang:One more time for the people in the back.

Ruby:I’m the back.

Blake:*smirks* I was very against socializing about my feelings at Beacon.

Ruby:Yeah you were.

Weiss:I couldn’t even ask if you slept well without a lukewarm answer sometimes.

Blake:I’m better now. That’s all that matters. Romance and feeling love is a personal thing and talking about it is uncomfortable. I think we both recognized that in each other during our project. Trouble is, there’s only so many conversation starters and small talk subjects. Talking only about the project was dry and eventually all the facts a person could say about themselves ran out. Favorite food, color, hobbies, etc. We eventually had to dig a little deeper into those topics. To our surprise, we actually more in common than we thought when it came to how we felt about certain pieces of literature and music.

Ruby:Awwww, bonding over smut.

Blake:*red* It wasn’t all adult literature! Some were poems and stuff. Even when the project ended, we began being less formal around each other and hanging out. We went to the bookstores we mentioned and he even got us tickets to bands I liked. It...it was nice. I never really got to have just a normal teenage experience before without it being political. He always felt bad about being average compared to everyone but average was so foreign to me that I welcomed it. I liked having a normal time out. It was a thing we all took for granted. Especially when Beacon fell.

Yang:Yeah, that probably put a real bind on your relationship.

Blake:Actually....we technically never officially started to date.

Ruby:What? You courted each other all of Beacon.

Weiss:Ruby, who the heck says courted? I’m a Schnee and even I have never used the word courted.

Ruby:Hush, I read a lot of bed time stories to a five year old.

Blake:We were a bit shaky on labels. Me for obvious reasons. As for Jaune, it’s really true about what they say about guys when they get heart broken.

Yang: “Never again.”

Blake:Hehehe, it’s funny to look back at it but he’ll tell you it’s a bit cringy. He was so on gaurd. I could tell all the time when he was mentally telling himself to not be excited whenever we hung out or I complimented him.

Ruby:Hey it takes guts to shift feelings to a teammate of your first crush. That could blow up in your face.

Blake:Yeah...about that. *looks at Yang* you...were another reason why nothing was official. You uhhh, we actually had some jumbled up emotions.

Weiss:*sarcastic gasp* You and Yang, liking each other? Who could’ve seen that coming?

Yang:Was it mutual or...

Blake:Very mutual. Also...intimate at times.

Yang:*red* Oh....yeah. Yeah that tracks.

Blake:That jumbled mess was only more confusing after you got hurt trying to rescue me from Adam. Meeting up with-

Ruby:Question, so was Sun just not on your radar?

Blake:Sun? We’re just friends. He’s cute and I’m glad he was there for me when I needed help but things between us were always pretty calm. I think he noticed how confused I was with other people in my life and chose to not add to it.

Ruby:Bless him. Please continue.

Blake:Learning about Salem and reconnecting with you all was a lot. I’d really been out of the loop and my Yang and I were on....shaky ground.

Yang:That’s what happens when you leave someone who’s been left their entire life.

Blake:Sigh...yeah. It was a trying time, but not with JNPR. It’s funny, Oscar and I also hit it off quite well from the jump. I think we were both glad to have each other learn on the craziness at once. Even with readjusting, Jaune and I fell back into a groove naturally. Instead of doing average things we day dreamed of the things we did. Once again we become this little slice of simple life in this crazy adventure. Still didn’t date.

Weiss:What is this, a slow burn!?

Yang:Weiss, you literally didn’t date your Jaune until Atlas.

Weiss:There’s a difference. I didn’t make any heart eyes at him until around Atlas. I say I may have been a little quick. These two were “courting” for over a year at this point.

Ruby:Stop making fun of me!

Blake:Well anyways, I wouldn’t say much was too eventful in terms of romance with world destroying things happening. Salem, she was way too much to deal with. Every move age did was calculated and unrelenting. Keeping our head above water wasn’t easy. In fact, it was boarder line impossible. Yang and I barely beat Adam after all.

Yang:How’d you two feel about that?

Blake:Relieved. Huge weight off my mind, and yet...a piece of me still wishes things never got so dire. At least now I know that in another world, things aren’t.

Ruby:Sounds like your world was put through their paces? You survived though.

Blake:Not conventionally. I gotta say, hearing the ages and how you beat Salem so far makes me feel more than a little embarrassed. To be frank, we didn’t have this grand battle that involved the entire world making a final stand. We had Atlas, and then we had Haven. With their might and a plan to gain more time, we managed to seal Salem in a vault.

Yang:*chokes on water* Y- cough what!?

Ruby:You put her in a vault!?

Weiss:Thah sounds harder than a last stand honestly.

Blake:No matter what way we looked at things, we just weren’t ready for her, so we locked her away until we were. Two years on constant defense from her followers and grimm until Ruby had trained enough to use her silver eyes and we were all strong enough.

Ruby:Two years!? How old was I then?

Blake:Twenty I believe.

Weiss:Hey, you beat mine by a year.

Yang:Not mine, I think we either tied or just narrowly beat yours by like a year. Honestly it hard to keep track of birthdays and stuff.

Ruby:Wow. No offense to myself, but that’s a little disappointing. I guess being the same person really doesn’t mean we were all at the same level.

Blake:Hey, my Ruby put everything she had into saving the world. There wasn’t a second she wasn’t trying her best to defend it!

Ruby:My point exactly. If that was her at her absolute best then by all accounts, she doesn’t hold a candle to me; at least back then anyways. But I have no reason to believe she would be at my level now.

Yang:Okay little miss prideful, care to tell us when you saved the-

Ruby:Seventeen.

The reaper took a long swig of coffee while the others processed that information. It took a her a couple of seconds to realize she may be acting just a tad bit arrogant.

Ruby:Uhh, sorry. I think I was tooting my own horn a bit there.

Weiss:Seventeen....why so soon?

Yang:Why? Don’t you mean how?

Blake:That’s....almost unbelievable.

Ruby:Really? I don’t think so. I’ll dive into it when it’s my turn but for now all I really gotta say is people needed help, and I was going to answer those cries. I bet your Ruby had a similar urgency in her, but for some reason or another just had different limitations. I got hurt a lot as a kid. Maybe an injury did more damage in one universe than another? Who can say?

Blake:I...wouldn’t know. Odd, I know if my Ruby heard this, then she’d probably be more than a little upset. Saving lives is still what she’s all about. I know when she put everything she had into fighting Salem when the day came. All that training paid off. Her skills were polished and her silver eyes eradicated the grimm essence in Salem.

Ruby:Wait, she’s not dead?

Blake:No. Salem roams Remnant with Oz keeping an eye on her until one day she can finally grasp the lesson the gods wanted her to have.

Yang:That uhhh sounds risky.

Weiss:Yet oddly okay?

Blake:Funny, my Weiss said that too. Those two get checked on in secret. Can’t be too careful. With Salem beaten though, Remnant entered a state of...let’s call it average chaos. All in all, it’s way more peaceful but you know, people will be people. Downside about a secret war is you don’t get the unity of the masses. Atlas and Haven working together was still a great step in the right direction though.

Yang:Woah, I’m a little jealous. My world felt like a race against the clock. The pressure either broke you or made you harder than diamond, with most people crushing under it.

Weiss:Yeah. The tension and meet of extremes I had on the frontlines was beyond imagination. The unity was great, but to feel it on the battlefield against the odds was feeling with way too much adrenaline and stress. Can’t say I enjoyed it. I simply lived through it.

Blake:Well it isn’t like I had a walk in the park. But I guess in comparison, my experience was a tad more mellow. Still, people were lost and hurt. Oscar isn’t himself anymore, don’t have Penny, former classmates and a few enemies turned allies fell in battle. Family.... it took a bunch to get the plan of containing, then it took a lot more to do it. In a way though, the two years of training is time I can’t regret. It tested bonds, strengthening and reestablishing others.

Ruby:I take it since love couldn’t bloom on the battlefield, it bloomed in the training yards?

Blake:*red* You can say that. That’s when Jaune and I got serious. *frowning* But.....

Yang:We fell apart?

Blake:Yeah. I didn’t learn my lesson well enough the first time about the potential problems of dating a partner. Only difference this time was I felt like I was the one being cruel. We had gotten into arguments and apologized more than once. Your fear of being left and my own insecurities just kept butting heads. I’d cry, you’d cry, our friends would be concerned. Then the day came where you put it all on the line. You confessed genuinely how much you loved me and how you felt a bit jealous when it came to Jaune. I had never seen you look so vulnerable; letting your gaurd completely down. And though a piece of me loved you and wanted you in my life for ever....this sense of genuine comfort Jaune gave was something I want-needed for so long. So I did the one thing I didn’t want to do. I broke your heart. I hurt you again.

Yang:Sigh....*leans back in chair* Okay, let’s see how well I know myself. My eyes went red automatically, followed by tears. I lashed out at you angrily out of pain and embarrassment until I was probably blue in the face. But to take make things worse, somebody probably overheard. No matter who it was, I yelled at them too for trying to calm me down and then I eventually run off leaving everyone unhappy. A good old meltdown. Sound about right?

Blake:To the letter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so distraught.

Yang:Of course not, I’ve never been in love before meeting you. I....did a similar thing with my Blake over the stupid Adam shit. *covers face* of all the things to be similar, it had to be my temper. Please tell me our team didn’t suffer too harshly?

Blake:The good thing about two years of training was it didn’t have to be together all the time. Team RWBY didn’t fall apart, but it didn’t feel comfortable either. Outside of missions, the four of us didn’t hang out as much. It was three at the most. Nobody pinned blame on me or Yang for it but it was obvious.

Ruby:I mean how can you blame someone for feeling sad or not in love with someone? Pointing fingers doesn’t do anything. However, I bet missions were rough.

Blake:Bumblebee was shelved. We did any other team up we could. When push came to shove, Yang and I did put feelings aside. Neither of us wanted our feelings to get anyone killed. That’s probably what kept us connected for awhile, especially with Salem. I don’t think we questioned each other when it came to watching one another’s back. Slowly, our relationship got a bit better. Until....we stopped speaking to each other altogether about a couple years later.

Yang:Wait, why!?

Blake:I got pregnant.

The three listeners’ faces scrunched up and they let in a sharp breath like they just got cut. No one had considered that bombshell.

Blake:Marriage was rough enough. Having Jaune’s kid and starting a family just...cut deep I guess. You didn’t make a scene or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. One day you told me “I just can’t do this” and exited my life. I wanted to keep you close to me, but you wanted to be closer. That was a thing I couldn’t do. Hehe, I can’t tell you how weird it is talking to you like this again.

Yang:So that’s it!? We just don’t see each other at all!?

Blake:Certain events and celebrations have us in the same room, but that’s all. Ruby is the only thing that regularly links us, but she’s busy living life too.

Ruby:Is it a good life?

Blake:The best. You’re the huntress you always wanted to be and a hero to many.

Ruby:*smiles* Really? That’s good. May she ride that high for as long as she can. Though I bet she wished she had a special someone to share that with.

Blake:Huh? Oh, you married Weiss.

Weiss:*red* What!?

Ruby:Aye, nice.

Weiss:Weren’t you upset about thinking of other people with Jaune besides you!?

Ruby:Yeah, but I won’t deny if I am going to be with someone that isn’t him, I’m very happy it’s the other special person in my life. I mean come on, the only reason we don’t get weird in your universe is because I married your brother and you already invited my sister.

Weiss:I mean...it’s mainly the brother portion. The second part...

Ruby:Weiss, that’s weird.

Yang:Eh...

Ruby:IT’S WEIRD! YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE!

Yang:*sips coffee* Eh.

Blake:Anyways, Weiss, you’re running your company. The Schnee Dust Company was scrubbed top to bottom to remove as much corruption as possible. No department was overlooked. In times of money, there’s a notable decrease in how much the company used to make.

Weiss:Gee, I wonder if that’s because the other me is doing oh let me guess, paying all their workers and not cutting corners in safety?

Blake:The SDC people approval has gone up considerably, just so you know that too. Turns out people like it when the company they buy from have good morals.

Weiss:Am I happy though? I make time for my social life and hu- I mean wife?

Blake:Yea, you’re happy. In a way I think we’re all happy, but....

Yang:We’d be happier if we were all happy together? Yeah, that’s how it works. You’re only as happy as the most miserable person in a family or group; if you all care about each other that is. Ugh, I wanna punch the other me. I get how she feels but it’s fucking immature to just ignore years of teamwork and family. At the end of the day, team RWBY is a family! Can’t believe I’d runaway from it instead of figuring out...I don’t know! Something!

Blake:*small smile* Well if you feel that way then there’s no reason to believe she doesn’t. My Yang just struggles with it more I guess, but I hope she can come around one day. Not really for my sake, but for her own peace of mind. As well as Lucas’s.

Ruby:Lucas? Your son I take it?

Blake:Mmhmm. My strong and lazy young man. He got his father’s hair but my eyes and ears. I can’t think of a person who warms my heart quite like him. He acts uninterested in a lot of things, but his heart is so big.

Weiss:Ah, so he’s just you?

Blake:More or less hehe. Though I’d say I was passionate about things all my life. Lucas will sleep all day if he could and doesn’t like going out without a reason.

Weiss:Still sounds like you if I’m being honest. Teenager?

Blake:Seventeen, almost eighteen.

Yang:You said he’s need peace of mind too? I’m not...hostile towards him am I?

Blake:No, not by a long shot. On the occasions you two have meant, you were polite. It’s just he knows why you don’t visit or talk to me. That’s rough, knowing your parent’s closest friend stopped being apart of their life because you were born. I think sometimes he believes it’s actually his fault.

Yang:I really, really want to meet this other me and have a few words. She needs to know she isn’t trying hard enough. I’m proof.

Ruby:Yeah, but you’re only well off because the person that helped you get over Blake, was Jaune. Yeah she still can find love, but who that person will be would be uncharted territory for everyone.

Blake:Also I’m not entirely sure exactly if my Yang is even bi like you.

Yang:Sigh....

Weiss:Love.

Blake:Huh?

Weiss:As long as a person shows your Yang genuine love and a place in their heart where she’ll remain forever, Yang would fall for them. They just have to make it a point to make her feel like they’ll stay. Yangs are softies like that.

Yang:Wow, you an expert on me and all the versions of me now?

Weiss:No, you’re just a bleeding heart that’s super emotional. Let me guess, you fell for Jaune the moment you realized just how relaxed and vulnerable you could allow yourself to be around him.

Yang:*red*.......he holds me when I’m overwhelmed.

RWB:Awwww

Yang:Shut up! Blake, take the heat off me.

Blake:Not too much more. Lucas is a smart kid who generally stays out of trouble. Unfortunately, trouble finds him. Mainly because of his semblance.

Ruby:Don’t tell me...

Blake:No no, it’s not bad luck like your uncle, but Lucas can’t always control it so their similar in that regard. Premonitions, that’s his semblance.

Weiss:Like...the future? You child can see the future?!

Blake:Yeah. *sips drink* it’s terrible.

Ruby:What? That sounds so handy! Man, if I could someone fighting me before it happened, I’d be a monster on the battlefield.

Blake:Lucas isn’t a fighter. Well, he’s not aspiring to fight. He can fight, pretty dang well in fact.; but randomly seeing the future is not a gift. Imagine picking up a book and you suddenly know the ending, or watching a movie and you start seeing the middle of it right after you press play?

Yang:Ahhh, that’s why he’s lazy and unmotivated. His semblance is massive spoiler alert. Half the fun of new things is not knowing what will happen.

Ruby:Oof, you have a point. I’d be paranoid to no end.

Blake:To a point, he was. Ever since he was ten. Disasters happen at the drop of a hat. Lucas isn’t the kind of person to watch bad things unfold, so whenever it was possible or even if it was risky, he’d do whatever he could to prevent said disaster. But.....there’s only so much anyone person can do. There’s only so much information he sees. The constant strain and guilt that came from failing ate him up. The. There’s the incidents he’s seen that didn’t show him how it began or how it will end. *rubbing her hands* It’s bad...

Weiss:Hey, I...I’ve noticed your hands and frankly even your face are a bit....slim. Your skin isn’t as colorful as I’m used to either. Almost like it’s regaining color.

Blake:Hehehe.......I guess you were bound to notice of all people.

Weiss:Of course. I may not run a a company in my world but I keep tabs on my brother and have had my fair share of visits to a doctor. Why wouldn’t I notice.

Yang:So can we talk as if there are people who have no clue what’s going on?

Weiss:Blake has had one of two things happen to her. She’s either worked way too hard to the point she’s not taking care of her health, or she’s fallen very ill and her body is still recovering.

Blake:Yeah, it’s more of the second one, but probably because of the first one as well. Forwarding equality, I was overzealous with it. One day Lucas just started shaking and crying when he was twelve and I couldn’t understand why. Turns out he kept seeing me bedridden and unconscious without a reason. Day in and day out he simply cried and tried his best to get another premonition to learn more, but couldn’t. A week later I started feeling a little dizzy, and then blacked out after vomiting. At first I thought maybe I had the flu or something. Nope, a tumor.

Weiss:What?

Ruby:Blake!?

Yang:Oh shit, are you-

Blake:Perfectly fine! *smiles* I’m fine. Liver cancer, but it was caught early. No more tumor what so ever, but the meds and the entire process was really draining. Got sicker a couple of times. Not once did I feel like I was dying necessarily, more like...slipping? I felt myself getting drained. The whole time Lucas was so scared; blaming himself for not preventing this or knowing how to fix it. Though simply knowing he saw me like was a warning most people wish they got. I know I said seeing the future is terrible, but the scariest part through all of this was not knowing how it ended. Choosing medicine, doctors, surgery possibilities, it made me crack under pressure a little. I think he noticed that. I wasn’t sure if I picking an option that lead me dying or getting better. The stress alone may have killed me. Ever since then Lucas hasn’t been so outgoing.

Ruby:....

Weiss:....

Yang....It was already said, but there was no way this wasn’t going to get sad was there?

Blake:Take it from me, there’s joy in pain. So many people came to visit me when I was recovering. Even Yang dropped by for a bit. After I got out, I don’t think Lucas ever hugged me so hard. Jaune tried to stay calm through the whole ordeal but it was rough for him too. He was all but spent emotionally when I came home.

Weiss:I’m surprised Lucas didn’t become an older brother.

Blake:The last thing a recovering patient needs is a pregnancy, but as far as missing me goes...

Ruby:You can stop right there with that tangent.

Yang:We’ll talk about that in private. I wouldn’t mind that story.

Blake:*playfully rolls eyes* These days I try not to over do things. I’ve only officially been deemed completely cured for about a year. I can feel that I’m still not entirely up to strength. It’s fine though. It gives me an excuse for Lucas to dote on me a little. He’s a mama’s boy at heart. My biggest worries these days is peeling him out of this shell his semblance had put him in. At the very least I want him to smile like he used to and find away to live in moment when possible. His entire life is ahead of him. Hopefully he doesn’t see all of it.

Ruby:I guess too much of anything really is bad. Knowledge included. I hope things work out.

Yang:Me too. A happy life is something you definitely earned.

Blake:Thanks. That seriously means a lot, which is why I made sure to not end this on a sour note.

The happy faunus pulled out her scroll to scroll through pictures and her friends eyes lit up. The first one was a beach photo. This Jaune was different from what they were used to. He let his hair grow a little bit longer and the back went down his neck, but it was definitely still him. This jaune was pretty toned and went for a lean look than bulky like Weiss’s, but a tad slimmer. On his shoulders was an adorable toddler with wide amber eyes and big blonde cat ears. Both men were enjoying the sunset on the waves.

The next photo was more recent with Blake right in the middle of hopping into Lucas’s arms. Weiss noticed the girl still had on the hospital bracelet. She must’ve just gotten cleared. Lucas had grown like a weed. He was now roughly Jaune’s height. His hair was messy and looked like Jaune’s in his younger years. Also like his father, Lucas was jacked! His sleeveless purple shirt should off his biceps as they wrapped around Blake’s torso for a hug. His baggy purple shorts had black and gold trim through the seams and the shorts stopped right below his knees; but showed of his well defined calves. A smile of pure joy and what could’ve been a few tears were visible as he looked lovingly at his mother. It warmed all of the ladies hearts. Still, the girls also could tell under his eyes were a little dark. Lucas must’ve been very tired.

The final picture had to be the most recent. It was Blake and Lucas sparring. Both looked at each other with excitement and ease as their wooden blades clashed. Their clothes mirrored one another by being black and white kimonos. They even wore the traditional shoes and everything.

Weiss:Yeah, that’s your kid.

Blake:Damn right. Unfortunately that makes him a little too stubborn. But I guess that’s okay. Without a doubt, someone’s gonna break through that shell of his.

Yang:Oh? It sounds like you already know who?

Blake:Well....I have a hunch.

xxxxx

RING! RING! RING! Lucas’s scroll chirped, in the middle of the night. The boy let out a long, agitated groan of sleepiness as he rolled over in bed; reaching for his scroll on the nightstand to answer.

Lucas:Hello?

???:Did you know you are mathematically more likely to choke on a hotdog than get attacked by a shark?

Lucas:....Serenity, who gave you my number?

Serenity:Your parents, and it’s Serendipity!

Lucas:Too many syllables. Also a bit ironic given who you are. With the way you act though, my name for you is better.

Serenity:Ooooo so we’re moving on to pet names? How forward of you.

Lucas:Five seconds before I hang up. Three...two-

Serenity:You’re late! You promised to guide me around the beach at twelve. That’s now.

Lucas:.....P.M. Twelve P.M. Serenity. Why in the world would I mean midnight!?

Serenity:It’s romantic and personal. Nobody else is around. I thought you were trying to use that Belladonna magic on me by acting all cool and aloof in the moonlight.

Lucas:.....

Lucas:Please delete my number.

Serenity:Not on your life, my whiskered bodyguard!

Lucas:Don’t have whiskers-

Serenity:If you don’t wanna move that butt of yours to hang out with a pretty girl in a floppy hat and sundress with a bikini underneath, that’s your loss. I’m still going for a dip.

Lucas:Do not go in the water when nobody is around.

Serenity:Pfft, I’m a strong swimmer.

Lucas:Sharks.

Serenity:It’s more dangerous to eat a hotdog.

Lucas:Sharks feed at night.

Serenity:Are you trying to tell me the statistics aren’t as reliable just because it’s nighttime.

Lucas:That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Serenity:Then you better move your butt just in case. Either you get a snack or the sharks do. Either way, I get attention.

Lucas:Difference is one wants to eat you.

Serenity:My goodness Lucas, oh brazen of you.

Lucas:......

Lucas:Tell the sharks I said hi.

Serenity:Okay! Byyyyyyeeeee! *hangs up*

Lucas:(She’ll be fine.)

..........

Lucas:*putting on shoes* This is bullshit. Who thinks midnight!? *walking down stairs* Can’t have a peaceful day or night....

Jaune:*watching tv* Hey Lucas, going some-

Lucas:I’m giving out your phone number to a homeless man the first chance I get! *walks out door*

Jaune:.....(Whatever gets you outside more.)

It took about fifteen minutes of aggressive walking for Lucas to wrap around to the back of his house towards their section of the beach. Where Serenity walked around humming and collecting seashells without a care in the world.

Lucas:The next shell you grab will have a crab in it.

Serenity:Huh? Oh hey you’re finally-ahhhh! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Lucas:Should’ve listened.

Serenity:Have a better warning!!!! It won’t let go!

Lucas:Pull it off.

Serenity:That’s hurt!!! Lucas, help!

Lucas:Fine, if you delete my number.

Serenity:*sniffling* Stop being mean!!! This really hurts, it’s breaking the skin. Isn’t a young and pretty girl’s tears payment enough!? I thought you were getting paid to-

Lucas:Oh my goodness! Okay, just shush. I’m too sleepy for this.

Serenity:You’re mean when you’re sleepy. At least your waking up voice sounds handsome though.

Lucas:Please....stop. Stop everything. *removing crab* Happy?

Serenity:No, you’re not happy. Also my finger is bleeding.

Lucas:Yep, looks like you can’t go swimming now for real.

Serenity:Eh, I lied anyways. I’m not getting in that water. There are sharks in that watery grave.

Lucas:So. Why. Did. You. Wake. Me. Up?

Serenity:....*red* I...don’t really, have friends here. Besides you. Umm *points to pail and shovels* sandcastles?

Lucas:*inhales*......I’ll get the water.

Serenity:*smiles* Yes! I’ll delete your number later.

Lucas:*red* You....can keep it of you really want.

Serenity:....Kek, okay Mr. Tsundere

Lucas:You can remove the next crab alone.

Serenity:Don’t joke like that! That was a joke, right?

Lucas:Welp that pail isn’t gonna fill itself. *leaves*

Serenity:What!? Lucas!!! You were joking right!? Right!? *looking around the sand* you’re a lousy bodyguard!

Lucas:Good, fire me.

Serenity:I...you....ugh!

Lucas:Cheer up, I’m happy now after all. *smiles*

Serenity:*pouting* This is why I’m a dog person.

[lyrasanzennine]

Hey @Lyrasanzennine, I noticed your comment under Lilly White's answer for anon. Can I ask, instead of anon, how writing is like when you have a full-time job and a family to care for?

I used to live independently during my studies and had heaps of time to write fanfics, but had to move back to live with my parents because I couldn't afford it anymore /o\ Juggling the chores and having to deal with adults who sometimes act like children (my parents, *rolls eyes and shakes her head*) takes up so much time and energy that I'm totally exhausted at the end of the day. I had to recently quit my job too, for the exact same reason, because I simply couldn't strike a balance between everything I had on my plate.

Sorry for rambling.

Hi, thanks for the question! It sounds like you’re going through a pretty difficult period. I’ve been mulling how to reply to this, but here goes.

Writing with a day job and kids is...really hard. Some years ago, my husband told me about a judge who wrote her first novel at age 70 by writing every day before work. This year I realized that I basically wrote my novel the same way - most often in 1 hour chunks at night after the baby went to sleep, 300-500 words at a time. Every so often I take some time off of work and use my vacation days to plow through several chapters or to ensure that I have enough uninterrupted headspace to do the heavy work of reorganizing and content editing. Occasionally I have paid a neighbor’s kid to watch my kids for a few hours on a Sunday so I can write. When I’m stuck in bed with the baby, I dream up ideas and write beautiful sentences in my head, and type them into my phone with my thumb as soon as I can so that I don’t forget them.

That’s it. 300 words a day over a year is a full novel. I’m sure you’ve heard some version of this story/advice in various corners of the internet before.  Easy peasy.

Ha.

The more important thing, I think, is how to get to the point in your life where you can do that. I wouldn’t have been able to do it in my 20s. Life was too noisy, there was way too much anxiety around every corner. I was a neurotic, overachieving firecracker. A single screaming match with my dad about my post-grad job prospects meant not talking to my parents for 3 months. I’d spend hours fretting about whether or not my emails were polite enough. I’d worry about my body being sexy enough. I’d spend emotional energy treading water, judging others to stay afloat etc etc etc.

I think I was so very lucky. The stars aligned before I had my first baby. I had amazing mentors and friends. I was encouraged to take a life-changing course called the Landmark Forum which I acknowledge in most of my major writings. Before I gave birth, I cleaned out the skeletons in my closet, forgave my parents in my heart, forgave myself for all my shortcomings, and committed to a life of love and growth. I committed to being the person I wanted my children to have as a mother. 

What was promised, gradually came to be - all the energy that was being sucked into anxiety, self-doubt, darkness, became freed up for joy, productivity, and loving other people. As a writer, I developed good habits like re-reading positive reviews when I felt shitty. As a human, I discovered how easy it was to reach out to a friend when I was in need, and they always responded with an abundance of love and support.

So I might ask you - is this the time to write fanfics? Do you enjoy it as a source of quiet creative time, or is it causing you stress? Are you trying to hone a skill so that you might publish professionally one day? Intent matters. What do you want right now? What do you want later in life?

Maybe this isn’t the time for writing? Maybe it’s a time for self-care, to reach out to those who you can lean on and build up a nice solid foundation for yourself?

I spent about 6 years away from fandom and writing and came back a new person, with a story that desperately needed to be told. 

Writing will be there for you when you’re ready. Take care of yourself. 

[conretewings]

-A SMALL OBSTACLE-

**ATTENTION. THIS IS A RE-UPLOAD. I edited some things and added an epilogue. Please enjoy and reblog if you want**

(I'd like to dedicate this story to @mistwolf4, who's kindness, support, and discussions with me on it helped make it possible.)

When Salem had something to accomplish, she'd usually pick whoever's particular skills were most closely aligned to the task; when technological expertise or sly infiltration was in order, she called upon Watts. When wise diplomacy or intimidation, real or implied, was needed, she'd send Hazel. And when the seeds of chaos needed to be sown or a target taken care of, Tyrian was all too happy to serve.

Bearing this in mind, it wasn't often that all three men in the Grimm queen's inner circle were sent on a mission together; in fact this was only time in recent memory. All of their abilities, she had said, would be crucial. They had no idea about the small yet critical obstacle that lie ahead in their path...

Things started out just fine when they left Evernight in a 'borrowed' Mistral airship. They made it to the first rendezvous point, took care of that aspect of the mission-but when they returned to the vessel found themselves facing an unexpected issue.

Watts banged one fist on the control console after failing for nearly the seventh time to get the ship started, "What the hell is wrong with this heap of garbage?!"

Tyrian poked his head up from an access hatch in the floor, holding a wrench, "I tightened the bolts you pointed out...nothing?"

"Clearly not," the doctor replied with an eyeroll Tyrian didn't see, then leaned his head out the open window, "Is the power supply properly connected Hazel?"

The tall man nodded, closing a panel on the ship's side, "Everything looks fine."

Watts sighed, turning and going to the same access hatch Tyrian had vacated and was now crouching beside. Turning a couple of his rings, he swept a hand out, creating small hard-light platforms in front of his feet, using them as steps as he descended into the small main mechanical control room.

He began to fidget with several controls, muttering and cursing to himself as Hazel, having re-entered, and Tyrian stood nearby, unsure of how and if they could do anything. The scorpion Faunus caught Hazel's eye and gave a shrug before crawling onto the co-pilot's chair, and the taller man sighed, crossing his thick arms and leaning against the wall.

He knew if they couldn't get the thing started soon they'd be out of luck. Thus, ever the pragmatic one, he moved to kneel beside the hatch and said, "Arthur, if we can't get it going, we'll have to be stuck here for the night, or try and secure another mode of transportation. I suggest we head back into town and weigh our options."

A loud rattling and clang was heard from the dimly lit room below, coupled with Watts poking his head into view, "Absolutely not," he huffed, tossing a scorched, blackened piece of metal and wire onto the floor then ascending on more of his hard-light steps, brushing his clothes off, "I've located the issue. This," he picked the piece up, "Is one of the spark plugs for the main engine. We'll just grab a spare from the toolkit, install it and be on our way. Tyrian could you grab me the toolkit? It's the same one you grabbed the wrench from."

"There was nothing like that in there that I saw." Tyrian answered, cocking his head, long braid flopping over his shoulder.

Watts rolled his eyes again, striding to and flipping open a large steel box, "Rubbish. There has to be. There's always at...at least...oh for the brothers sake!"

He stood, pinching the bridge of his nose, "There isn't one."

"I told you, dear Arthur." Tyrian said with a sing-song tone, batting his eyes and earning himself a sideways, sour glance.

Hazel pushed himself to his feet, "We have two choices. One is to let her Grace know. The other is to head back into town to purchase the part we need. If we're quick option two is our best bet."

"No, no, you're right as usual my exceptionally tall fellow," Watts relented, giving his jacket another dusting for good measure and walking to the exit ramp, "I'll be back as soon as possible."

"I'm coming too," said Hazel as he too moved toward the door, "I'll grab a few other things in case we run into something like this again."

Tyrian leapt from the chair and swept up behind them, "Well, don't leave me out of the party! It's no fun being here all by myself!"

Watts waved a hand dismissively, "Fine fine! Let's just hurry and get this done."

An hour later, they had finally located a shop that carried the parts they needed. Watts was inside handling the purchase, Tyrian had joined him, and once Hazel had grabbed what he wanted he stepped outside to wait. The man leaned against the side of the store, slightly down the alley between it and the neighboring building minding his own business and trying to remain as inconspicuous as was feasible. It had clouded over in their walk here, and now the sky above was dark and heavy with the threat of rain.

As he stood, keeping an eye out for possible trouble as he always did, he suddenly felt a tugging at his pant leg and looked down to see...a small child gazing intently up at him. She looked to be about five years old, with dirt-streaked brown hair and an equally filthy dress. One hand clutched a stuffed toy with the other firmly knotted in the fabric of his pants, and she stared up at him fearlessly with bright blue eyes.

He resolved to ignore her, as she was likely simply seeking attention or to play a joke on him, neither of which he felt like dealing with. Thus he looked away again, crossing his arms and hoping she'd get bored and leave. After a minute or so of continued efforts, the tugging became more insistent and she spoke up, "'Scuse me mister!"

He sighed, relenting and making eye contact, "Yes?"

"Where's my mama?" she asked plaintively.

Hazel was momentarily taken aback. Of all the people around she had, for some reason, chosen him. Was she truly lost, or did she simply wander off and her mother was right nearby, frantically searching for her? No doubt it was the latter, and not having time to deal with lost waifs, yet unable to force himself to turn a blind eye-there were monsters other than Grimm about-he resolved to take care of this matter quickly. He carefully knelt, still towering above her but slightly less intimidating and asked, "When and where did you see her last?"

The child pursed her lips, looking away for a moment, "Umm...three days ago?"

Hazel felt his heart sink; three days meant it was the former situation after all.

Fishing in her pocket, the girl held out a piece of paper, "She gave me this but I can't read it..."

Taking it, Hazel unfolded it and quickly realized he was now entangled in a much darker, more complex situation. The note read, 'I can't take care of her anymore. Her aunt lives in Fellstone at 36 Walnut St. take her there.'

His brows knitted and he exhaled so lowly in his throat it was almost a growl. There had to be a police station nearby he could drop her off at, though he wondered why the child hadn't been taken there in the first place. Standing again, he stuffed the paper in a pocket and motioned for her to follow.

"Come on. I'll take you to someone who can help."

She gave a tiny gasp of delight, grinning ear-to-ear and reaching her hand up toward him. He paused, realizing she was trying to hold his as they walked, but pretended he didn't notice and kept on. They made their way through the muddy streets, Hazel taking frequent downward glances to make certain she was still there. His Scroll beeped, and taking a look saw the message from Watts: 'Where are you??' He quickly tapped out a reply; 'Had to take care of something be right back'

In only a few minutes they had reached a police outpost and though he was naturally wary of calling attention to himself, especially with law enforcement, he rapped his calloused knuckles on the door. It immediately flew open, a portly man doing a double-take at the figure in front of him.

"Oh-hello sir. What's the trouble?"

Hazel gestured to the small girl beside him, handing the officer the paper she'd had, "This child approached me...she was, apparently, abandoned by her mother. The note lists a relative."

The officer took the paper, looked from it to the girl, who waved at him, then shrugged, "Look, I know you mean well, but here's the thing; I know this kid. Her mom is a good-for-nothing drunk and is always in some sort of crisis. This isn't the first time she's ditched her and vanished. She'll probably be back soon. There's nothing we can do."

Hazel cocked an eyebrow, "I'm sorry?"

Again the officer shrugged, then coughed and handed the paper back, "I said there's nothing we can do. You can leave her here, or at the pub on Eighth, or Cherry and Pilwin. Those are her favorite haunts. Bye."

With that he shut the door practically in Hazel's face. His fists clenched, part of him wanting to punch a hole right through it. He wasn't naïve; the lines between good and evil in the world were, quite often, more blurry than most cared to believe or admit, however he still found himself entertaining the notion that at least some of those that were supposed to be in a position of protecting others would do just that.

He looked down at the child, whose wide eyes were wavering and uncertain, having clearly comprehended the adult's discussion. So she was truly on her own, with no one willing to lend a hand...except him. Despite his better judgement, in a flash of something deep and long-forgotten he sighed again and extended his hand to her, "If you still wish, I'll help you."

Her expression brightened, just a little, and she reached up, her tiny hand managing to wrap around several of his fingers.

"What's your name?" he asked as they made their way back toward the shop where his companions were, likely, impatiently awaiting his return.

"I'm Greta!" she proudly declared, then held up her toy, "And this is Stinky! What's yours?"

He inhaled sharply, stopping short. It wasn't her name, but it was close enough to send an aching stab through his chest. Drawing a deep breath to steady himself again, pushing the emotions and memories back into the corners of his mind where they usually were, he glanced at her and nodded.

"I'm Hazel. I'm going to take you to your family, Greta. I promise."

Watts paced briskly, hands tightly clasped behind his back and mouth pressed to a thin line. Tyrian stood much more casually, leaning against a tree at the edge of town where they'd decided to meet. His tail waved lazily and he watched the doctor's increasingly agitated state with amusement.

"Oh Watts you'll wear a rut in the ground at this pace," he said with a chuckle and stretched, "I'm certain our compatriot will be here any minute."

"Where IS that oaf?! This was HIS idea and now he's run off to who-knows-where!" he gestured to the sky with it's dark, roiling clouds, "It's going to downpour any moment and he can't even-finally!"

As he was ranting Hazel turned the corner of a nearby building and approached them. Watts raised his hands palms up in a sarcastic gesture, "Ah, at last, he returns. Now, let's get out of here. We-"

He froze mid-sentence, as now Greta peered out from behind Hazel's coat and gaped curiously at him and Tyrian. The scorpion Faunus perked up instantly, making a soft 'oooh' sound. Hazel moved his hand to indicate to her to stay back and at this Watts drew a sharp, deep breath, drawing himself up.

"Hazel. What. Is that?"

The large man glanced at Greta, then back to Watts. He had overheard how the doctor had referred to him and chose his response accordingly, "I believe this is what most would call a child."

"You know PERFECTLY well what I mean!" Watts barked, jabbing a finger in his direction, "Why is she with you?"

Hazel sighed, full well knowing this was going to be inordinately difficult no matter what, "She approached me seeking help, and I discovered her mother has abandoned her. She was kind enough at least to include a note listing a nearby relative. I'm taking her to them."

Watts rubbed his temples, his face reddened with frustration, "You can't possibly be serious..."

Tyrian snorted, "I don't recall Her Grace saying anything about babysitting stray children. Did you forget we have a job to accomplish?"

"Thank you dear Tyrian!" Watts quickly replied, then addressing Hazel pointed at Greta, "This is not your responsibility or problem. Put it back where you found it, and be quick we need to make headway before it rains or gets too dark."

Hazel said nothing for a moment. He knew this was exactly the response he would get, and had prepared for it.

"Fellstone, where her aunt lives, is right on our way. With the winds how they are, even with these two detours, we'll get to our next stop on time or ahead of schedule. And speaking of responsibility, if anything should go wrong I will shoulder it myself."

His teammates stared in defeated exasperation; they knew all too well that once he'd set his mind to something, there was no stopping him. Watts threw his hands in the air, grumbling and cursing and spun on his heel as he began the trek back to their ship. Hazel mumbled to Greta to stay close as he set off as well. The small girl clutched his coattails, having to trot to keep up. Tyrian slunk off the tree and took up the rear of the group, eyeing Greta now with curiosity...or how a snake does a mouse. He crept up closer, and finally the girl noticed. Her eyes widened and she tilted her head, watching his tail sway hypnotically.

"Do you like it?" he said in a sweetly venomous voice, "I certainly do...though many others don't..."

Hazel jerked his head to glower at the Faunus, "Leave her alone."

"Oh, but she's just curious! All I'm doing is providing some entertainment for her for the walk! Surely-"

"Leave. Her. Alone." he repeated, this time in a low threatening growl.

Chuckling, Tyrian raised his hands in a mock gesture of surrender and picked up the pace until he reached Watts, his tail gently resting on the doctor's back. He grinned and winked over his shoulder, and Greta held Hazel's coat a little tighter.

Slowly at first, then swiftly picking up into a steady rhythm, the rain finally came only minutes later. With a disgruntled shout of 'I told you' Watts unfurled his umbrella and took off towards the ship, which was now in sight, although still a ways off. Tyrian tried to shelter himself as much as possible with him, mockingly calling behind them to hurry.

Hazel picked up his pace; he had never minded the rain, but they did need to move quickly. Greta, still clinging to his coat, now struggled even more to keep up. She panted and moved her small legs as fast as she could, but between his naturally long strides and the wet ground she just couldn't-and tripped, tumbling to her knees. She knelt where she'd fallen, clutching her toy and started to cry. Hazel stopped a couple steps ahead and sighed.

"Come on, you need to get up."

"I caaaaan't!" she sniffled, "You're too fast and I'm getting tired!"

"You have to try."

"I can't!!" she repeated, then curled in on herself miserably.

He exhaled wearily. He had chosen to take charge of this situation, and now he needed to find ways to navigate it. They had to move, but she was clearly exhausted especially after everything she'd no doubt been through. An idea came to him...

"Greta."

She looked up at him from the muddy ground, her blue eyes clearly showing her weariness yet still holding that fearless fire. He knew she had a fighter's spirit, she must if she was able to survive on her own. He decided to nurture that, while also clearing up this obstacle.

"Sometimes, you'll be tired and hurting and want to give up. You can't. You have to try to push yourself just a little more to reach your goal. If you get up and walk to me I will carry you the rest of the way."

She regarded him solemnly, then wiping her face with one hand pushed herself to her feet and as confidently as she could muster, made her way to him, where she squared her shoulders as she looked up, "I did it."

"Good. Now then..."

He scooped her up with one arm, her slight weight nearly nothing to him, and started to walk. In moments he noticed the rain still pelting her, even worse now that it had picked up further. Yet another idea crossed his mind, one that would shelter her from the brunt of it and enable him to move faster. He loosened the belt overlaying his coat, tugging it aside enough to place her underneath, where she was now tucked against his chest and torso and re-cinched the belt, essentially turning it into a makeshift sling.

"Hold on." he said, and he felt her knot her hands in his shirt as he took off at a run.

Greta peered out as they moved, seeing the trees lining the road fly by. She held tight as he'd instructed, feeling his warmth and the strong, steady drumbeat of his heart. He had been so nice to her, even though he was big and looked kinda mean. Most people were actually mean. He reminded her of her papa...she barely remembered him, except that he was big and nice too. She smiled, nestling herself snugly against him and feeling happier than she had in a long time.

A couple minutes later Hazel made it inside the ship, taking a moment to rest from running in the now deluge outside. Watts and Tyrian were already hard at work on repairs, and Tyrian looked up at him with a fake pout.

"Oh, poor thing, you're soaked through!"

Hazel ignored him and went to his quarters, which normally on one of these ships was meant to sleep three people but was the only room big enough for him. Removing his charge from his coat and setting her on the unused bed, he then shed the garment entirely. Stepping into the tiny adjoining bathroom he grabbed a clean towel, coming back to her.

"You need to dry off. Here..." he carefully rubbed her head and she giggled, shaking out what he now realized was a soft auburn-brown hair. The rain had actually cleaned her up quite a bit. He then wrapped the towel snugly around her and told her to keep it on for a while. This done he sat heavily on his own bed across from her to plot his next move; he was loathe to admit he hadn't a clue what he was doing. Step one; get her off the street, sheltered, and on her way to her aunt, was complete. Now step two..?

He looked through the open door of the room, then back to her, sitting there swinging her legs and making her toy 'walk' across the blankets, "Are you hungry?"

Greta nodded, "I could eat a doughnut thiiiiiis big!" And spread her arms as far as she could.

"Then I'll get you something," he stood, not letting her see him wince. It was true he couldn't feel pain, but all the stiffness and joint damage he'd done to himself cropped up from time to time. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

He made his way to a small back area that served as a crude kitchenette, opening a cabinet to see what they had left. Some military rations left from Brothers-knew-when that they'd ignored, Watt's stash which was strictly off-limits, though for a moment Hazel considered it, some canned goods, and then a few of his own homemade protein bars and pre-packaged pastries. He took one of the protein bars and an apple danish and headed back. Upon entering he didn't see her, so he knelt to look under the beds and finding nothing, started to feel a ripple of concern.

"Greta?" he inquired.

His ears caught the softest rustle and giggle, and upon her bed saw the blanket move ever so much. He realized now where she was and stepped over to flip the blanket aside. Out popped a proudly grinning Greta, "BOO! You found me!"

"Good, I thought you'd wandered off."

"Awwww!" she pouted, "But I'm a scary ghost!"

"...Is the scary ghost still hungry?"

"YEAH!"

Greta jumped to her feet and upon spotting the danish, practically tried to climb him to get at it. He quickly handed it over and she plopped herself in the middle of the bed, tearing into the food with gusto, doing little bounces and hums of joy. He sat across from her, slowly eating the protein bar she'd rejected and wondering for probably the dozenth time what he'd gotten into.

Abruptly the vessel shuddered, and he could hear the engines roaring to life coupled with Watt's triumphant shout. The ship started to lift off, and Greta gasped, dropping the wrapper from her danish and scrambling to the window, seeing the ground move further away.

"Are we flying Mr. Hazel?!"

"Yes."

She began to bounce on the mattress, chanting and laughing "I'm flying I'm flying!" while flapping the towel she still wore like a pair of wings. Seeing her overjoyed by something to him so mundane, and often grim depending on the situation, plucked some long-dormant thread in his soul and he actually felt himself crack a small smile.

"I thought you were tired." he wondered.

"I-am-but-I'm-too-busy-flying-!" she answered in between bounces, then suddenly cried, "Oh no I've been attacked I'm falling catch meeeee!"

Crouching for extra power, Greta leapt and launched herself off the bed right at Hazel. Caught off guard, he nevertheless leaned forward and easily caught her, where she wriggled in his arms and laughed. He raised his eyebrow, again pondering why in the world she'd chosen him...but he was starting to be glad for it. After a minute she stopped and even started to slump against him. He pried her off and held her out to see her eyes slowly blinking, and she yawned loudly.

"I'm...sleepy...too much...flying. Had to make it to...the castle..."

"Then let's get you to bed."

He stepped across to her bed, fixing the blanket as much as possible before setting her down and pulling the covers over her. She suddenly bolted upright, lamenting, "Stinky?! Where's Stinky?"

Hazel bent and lifted the toy from the floor where it'd fallen during her aerial mishap, his best guess being it was a badger, and handed it over. Greta clutched the animal lovingly to her chest and Hazel stood.

"Be careful with your friends. Alright, I'll be right nearby if you wake up and need something. Goodnight, Greta."

"Wait!! Don't leave me! Mama left please don't leave me alone again!"

"I have to go keep watch so you're safe."

"Pleeeeeease?!" she pleaded, on the verge of tears.

He paused, seeing the genuine fear and longing for some sort of reassurance in her face, then sighed, sitting on her bed and scooting so his back was resting on the wall. He gestured and she scrambled into his arms, leaning against him as he held her to his torso, where she settled with a long, contented hum. He fully expected her to pass out at any moment.

But then, she craned her neck to gaze up at him, "Can I have a bedtime story?"

He pinched his brow; ah yes. He should have expected this. Though he did do plenty of reading and knew many tales, the bedtime story variety wasn't his forte. He thought for a moment, clearing his throat and Greta leaned forward with expectation.

"Once upon a time, a young girl took a ride on a flying ship. It was a beautiful day, and soon it was night, with lots of stars. She had had a long trip, and got tired. She went to sleep and had wonderful dreams and when she woke up, she was with her family. The end."

Greta stared blankly at him, then pouted, "That's not a real bedtime story!"

"If I tell you another do you promise to try and sleep?" he grumbled, but with a growing tone of affection.

"Pinky promise!" she declared, holding up her small hand.

He hesitated for a moment, but then finished the gesture with her...and a flash of memory he hadn't asked for came to him-

-"If I win this race, you have to do the dishes. If you win, I will!" said Gretchen with her usual bravado.

"Are you going to try and get out of it again?" Hazel replied with a sarcastic smile.

She held out her hand, "Nope! Not this time! I pinky promise!"-

He let his eyes fall shut, carefully refolding the memory and upon remembering another, one perfect for this moment, opened them again. This tale had always been her favorite.

"Very well. Let me tell you the story of The Brave Weaver Girl and the Golden Tree..."

The rain had let up considerably, now simply a gentle patter against the windows, and streaks of moonlight broke through the clouds. Greta was still curled in a ball in Hazel's lap as he continued to speak.

"...and at last, the brave weaver girl had defeated the shape-shifter, and taking some of the golden fruit of the tree to sell, went home to her family. The end."

He glanced down; her eyes were almost closed and her breathing slow and steady. Very carefully, he slid off the bed and turned, gingerly setting her on it and pulling the blanket over her. She hummed, pulling her stuffed toy closer and yawning again as she finally shut her eyes. He slowly started to back away, taking a pillow and a novel with him, hoping she wouldn't notice...and just barely caught her whisper-soft murmur as she said, "G'night papa..."

He stopped short, the shock hitting like he'd been kicked in the gut. ...Papa? His chest tightened uncomfortably and he swallowed hard, conflicting emotions he hadn't known he was still even capable of clawing at him. Exiting, he silently shut the door and turned so his back was against the wall, slumping down until he was sitting cross-legged on the floor to begin his vigil.

Her words kept echoing in his mind. Did she actually believe he was, and that's why she'd approached him? No, if she did she would have said so. It was most likely then she simply saw him as a father figure, a notion that sat heavily in his heart.

He was no type of man to be a father. The things he'd done, the pain he'd caused, all in the promise of a different, hopefully better future yes, but still...he didn't deserve such an honor. Briefly he looked back at his younger self and recalled the time he'd wanted a family of his own someday...a dream long dead.

Hearing footsteps approaching, he flicked his gaze upward to find Watts standing there, a mug of what smelled like coffee in one hand and his Scroll in the other. The doctor stared at him disparagingly for a moment before he spoke.

"May I inquire as to why you're sitting there?"

Hazel glanced around before quietly answering, "I don't trust him."

"Ah, yes, Tyrian did mention you'd ended up bringing your little pet along after all. Well, I'm still not a fan of the whole situation however I'm clearly outmuscled," he leaned against the wall opposite Hazel and took a sip of his drink, "I am curious though; why her? What compelled you to not turn her away?"

"She came to me. I..." he trailed off, having been forced for the first time to truly stop and consider it, "She was an innocent, alone. I know that fate all too well."

"Aaah, I see. Ironic, isn't it?" Watts sniffed, "I wonder how many people you've...dispatched, and here you are suddenly deciding this one life is worth saving. Curious."

Hazel felt his hands clench as they rested on his knees; he was well aware of the many lives he had taken and the, as Watts had put it, ironic nature of this venture. He also was in no mood to be reminded.

He looked Watts squarely in the eyes and said, in that tone denoting having had enough, "If you have nothing productive or helpful to say, I'd like some peace and quiet."

With the faintest eye roll, Watts pushed himself off the wall and turned on his heel towards the front of the ship, saying over his shoulder, "We'll be passing through Fellstone in the morning. Goodnight Mr. Rainart."

Hazel unclenched his fists and let his shoulders relax, having not realized just how much he'd had them tensed. Watt's words had struck a chord, leaving him now with a bitter taste in his throat and dark thoughts he'd hoped to avoid for at least one night. He glanced at the door behind him, through which slept one tiny girl, one that in the brief time she'd been with him, had brought him trouble he hadn't planned on...but also a slight, fragile sliver of joy and even healing. Soon he'd be sending her on her way, but that was good. That was what she needed. For the second time that day, he felt himself forming a small, wistful smile.

Leaning back with the pillow behind his head, he opened his book and settled in for a long, sleepless night...

He sat up with a start, nearly banging his head on the wall. It was much brighter around, and he realized it must be morning. Turning he saw the door was ajar, and with a groan from stiff joints and passing out in an awkward position, he stood and opened the door a little further, stepping in the room. He called her, but got no answer, and assuming it may will be another case of hide-and-seek pulled back the covers of her bed and even the others–but found no sign of her. Fighting back the panic starting to brew, he stepped back into the hall area and called her. It was then he heard her giggling coming from the front control area of the ship and he immediately made his way there-where he froze.

Tyrian sat crouched on a pilot's chair, his tail wrapped around Greta's waist as he rocked her gently back and forth like a swing.

In two long strides Hazel made it over and scooped the small girl up to hold her on his shoulder, cold fury in his eyes, "What are you doing?" he all but growled.

Tyrian stood and wisely sidled around the large man, grinning ear-to-ear, "Ah! Good morning! As I said before, I simply wish to entertain our young guest! She was all alone, poor dear, so Uncle Tyrian came to the rescue! Didn't I, little one?"

"Get out." Hazel stated in a tone that did not invite any further discussion, and Tyrian backed out of the area and out of sight, his smile no less taunting.

It was about an hour later that Watts announced they were near Fellstone and he was going to land the ship a safe distance away. From putting the address into his Scroll, Hazel had realized her aunt's place was a small farm toward the edge of town which was perfect; the less people saw them the better. The thick fog that had settled over the land after last night's rain would further disguise them.

With what time the pair had left, Hazel spent much of it telling her stories and she spun her own yarns, though they were generally much more disjointed.

"Are you gonna stay with us?" she asked at one point as she traced invisible patterns on his arm.

"No. I can't, I have places I need to go. I'm sorry."

"Oh..." she said with disappointment, pressing herself into him a little more, "Okay...hey!" She brightened and clapped her hands, "Maybe you can come visit!"

He felt his stomach knot up. No. He knew what he was, what he'd still have to do, how death and danger were always nipping his heels. The moment she found out who he truly was she'd rightfully despise him-as well as be in grave danger herself. No...it was safest for her if she never saw him again. "Perhaps. We'll have to wait and see..."

Finally, Watts called to him that he was going to land as close as he could, and that they had to make it quick in order to stay on schedule. Hazel sighed and gently picked her up, making her make sure she had Stinky, and they made their way to the outside hatch and down the ramp.

It was damp, and the fog was so dense it obscured the small farmhouse only a short ways off, and thankfully the airship behind them. Through the mist however, Hazel could see lights on in the house and could hear sounds of life. Greta gasped, chattering about the times she'd been here before and all the fun things she'd done. He listened to her well, taking a mental snapshot of this moment to tuck away for when times were harder, to have a small bright spot to look upon and hope everything he did was worth it in the end.

When they had gotten as close as he dared without him possibly being seen, he set her down, making sure the note she had had with her when he found her was still in the pocket of her dress. He then knelt, also as he had done just the day before.

"Now," he said kindly but sternly, "I held up my end of our deal. I got you to your family, now do you remember your part?"

She saluted, "Be strong, be brave, be good, and don't be a Huntress!"

"Very good. Now then..." he stood, "Go on."

She didn't move, just stared at him with those bright blue eyes. He raised his eyebrow, "Yes?"

She held her arms up, and he realized what she wanted. Lifting her he gave her one more hug, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering, "Thank you Mr. Hazel...I'll never forget you. Thank you for being my Papa for a while."

He again felt that kick in his gut but kept himself steady, telling her it had been his honor, and he set her back down. Without another word she turned and ran toward the house shouting happily. He watched her go with a silent prayer, taking a small piece of what was left of his heart with her. A door flew open and a woman came out, calling her in confusion. The woman scooped her up and held her while crying joyfully; clearly this was indeed her relative. Hazel exhaled with a rare feeling of contentment; she was home.

"Greta! My goodness how did you get here?!" her aunt exclaimed in astonishment.

The girl turned and pointed, "The big nice man rescued me! ...mister?"

But by that time Hazel had turned and left, vanishing into the fog...

-EPILOGUE-

Hazel stood in the woods, the fading sunlight shimmering in golden beams through the thick trees, the air beginning to cool. He felt the weight of his axe across his shoulders and could hear the soft calls of birds and the distant bark of a fox.

Where in the world...?

His nose caught a faint whiff of wood smoke and some sort of food, and he looked around to see a small cluster of houses on the gently sloping hillside near him, with many more in the valley below. One house, set just apart from the others, had wisps of smoke coming from it's chimney, and he could now also hear faint voices.

Oh. Yes. Of course. He was heading home after a day at the lumber mill. It was a good job, and payed well. Dinner would probably be ready soon, unless the kids were especially a handful today. He started toward the house, seeing now signs of movement through the windows. One face appeared and moments later vanished, reappearing as they threw open the front door and started running towards him.

"Papa!! Papa's home!" they called, and two more small figures tumbled out the door as well, all happily calling him. He grinned and knelt, setting the axe down and opening his arms as he braced for impact. Moments later three children collided with him in a flurry of hugs, all excitedly talking over each other as they greeted him and described their day. He chuckled, telling them he'd missed them too and stood, hoisting one under each arm as the third clung to him piggy-back and finished the walk into the house.

Still carrying the kids, Hazel strode into the kitchen area, setting them down in their respective chairs. A tall woman with chestnut hair turned and smiled warmly as she grabbed several plates, "Hey you. Glad you're home."

"Hey..." he returned the smile, stepping up to and gently kissing her, earning a collective 'eww!' from the children. He tried to take the plates from her, offering to set the table, but she yanked them back, asking if he'd washed his hands. He coughed and turned to the sink, and she sighed affectionately.

After dinner, the kids were seated at the large oak dining table, one that Hazel had made himself, with their various craft projects, chatting among themselves while the adults played chess in the living room and enjoyed the cheerful, crackling fire in their fireplace.

"You've been staring at the board for a while. You stumped?"

Hazel shook his head, chin resting on his calloused knuckles, "Not yet."

His wife leaned back with a smug grin, "You're getting much better. Maybe someday you'll win, but-"

He reached and moved a piece a couple places, "I believe that's check."

"Wait how-?!" she scanned the board, then wagged a finger at him with a grin, "Oh ho, I see what you did. Very clever."

He looked up at her, deep brown eyes filled with that challenge and fire he fell headlong into love with what now seemed like ages ago.

"You'll probably still win this game, but you won my heart a million times already."

She paused with her hand above the board and met his gaze in appreciative confusion. Smiling softly with a blush she replied, "Of all the times to say something so romantic...trying to distract me?"

"No. Just being honest."

Her expression softened, smile widening a little, and she leaned across to kiss him tenderly, "I love you too...so much. You just surprised me is all."

"Speaking of surprises," he shifted to place his large hand over her smaller one that was unconsciously resting on her stomach, "When are we going to tell them they'll have a new sibling soon?"

She chuckled, "I guess...now is as good a time as any," turning she called, "Hey! Munchkins! Come here please..."

-He awoke with a choking gasp, bolting upright and sweating, for a few moments throughly bewildered; where was he? Where was his wife, their children? This wasn't his home it was-

Gradually, the fog of sleep seeped away and reality's unwelcome claws sunk their way back into his mind. All of it, the love, the happiness, the peace and sense of normalcy was nothing but the crumbling wishes of his subconscious, no doubt brought on by the previous day's and this morning's detour with Greta. Evidently, the girl must have reignited some embers deep within he had long since assumed to be burned to ash. Now however, alone in the icy moonlight, all of it quickly faded again, along with the faces and laughter of his non-existent family. He didn't bother to hold on to them.

There was no point in mouring that which you've never had and never will, after all.

[ask-the-riders]

Not Unlovable

In this, you get to see a bit of Famine's past - part of his childhood, then part of his adulthood before he died and became a rider. Unfortunately, the boy's haunted by ghosts of his past mistakes, however, and it's up to Retribution to provide him the comfort he needs

Because of the contents of this, I'm gonna offer a bit of a trigger warning for implied character death, as well as the actual depiction of character death. It's not super gory or anything, but hey, better safe than sorry, am I right?

"Sans... Take your brothers and go home. I'll meet you there shortly and we can make dinner together, alright?"

The skeleton child stared up at the human woman with wide sockets, another skeleton child standing beside him and holding onto his coat while a babybones was in his arms, smooshed against his chest. He glanced around, noting the look on the adult monsters' faces; Their eyes were sunken, they were thin from starvation, and among the group, the ones with fur looked as though they'd somehow contracted mange. Sans met his step mother's gaze again and frowned, not wanting to leave her side, "Mom, I can't. I don't wanna leave without you." The woman sighed, lowering herself to her knees in the snow and reaching out to gently cup the child's face, offering him a small smile, "Sans, please. This won't take long, I promise. Just be a good boy and take your brothers home. I'll be back in time for supper, I promise." Sans' frown deepened and he leaned into her touch almost desperately, his voice a fearful whine as another adult monster stepped closer to her, a sound similar to a growl escaping its maw.

Lila gently stroked the skeleton child's cheek with her thumb in an effort to soothe him, a pleading look in her eyes as she murmured, "Sans... please. Just... please just do this for me. Can you get your brothers home?" The fear the bubbled in his stomach became too much, causing a blue tinted tear to run down his face as he nodded and sniffled. Lila's expression softened as she wiped away the tear, sighing as she pulled him into a hug, careful not to crush the toddler in Sans' arms. Holding him close, she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and murmured against his bone, "I love you, Sans... Look after your brothers for me, ok?"

Sans nodded again, trying to bury his face in the crook of her neck and muttering, his voice shaking now, "I love you too, Mom." Gently tugging a tiny Papyrus closer, Lila pulled him into a hug, also kissing his forehead as well before mumbling, "And Papy... You're such a brave boy. Do you think you can help Sans look after Toby for me while I'm away?" Papyrus eagerly nodded his head, "OF COURSE, MAMA. WHEN WILL YOU BE COMING HOME?" Her smile became one of sadness as she hummed, "I'm not sure yet, but hopefully soon... I love you, ok? Don't forget that." The skeleton child beamed at her, his grin wide, "I LOVE YOU TOO, MAMA!" Lila released him, her attention settling on the youngest of the children.

As the toddler peered up at her with wide sockets and innocent confusion, she fought to choke back a sob, kissing his head and whispering, "My baby... Stay safe, Tobias...ok? I love you so much." The toddler reached out to grip the sleeve of her coat, his voice soft, "Love you, Mama." As the small circle of monsters began to close in on the tiny family, Lila slowly rose to her feet, gently nudging Sans and trying to usher him away. As Papyrus latched onto his elder brother's coat again, Sans held his step mother's gaze, a mutual understanding passing between them. As a realization clicked into place, his eyes widened further in horror, and more tears pricked at his sockets. He took a few steps back away from the human, then turned, using a shortcut to whisk himself and his two younger brothers away. Lila's chest began to heave as she turned to face the small gathering of monsters around her.

Offering them a saddened smile as a tear finally ran down her face, she sniffled, "I... I know you're starving. I know you're doing this because you're hungry. So please... if you really plan to eat me, promise me that my kids will be safe, and that they'll be cared for. Promise me you won't leave them to die." Her bottom lip quivered, and she cried out as she felt someone's teeth sink into her shoulder. She let out a much louder sob; her final thoughts circling in her mind, "I'm sorry, boys... I won't be home in time for supper..."

~

Tilting his head and grinning widely, Sans curled his fingers into his empty socket, watching as Toby weakly attempted to crawl through the snow, dragging himself away from his eldest brother with wide, fearful eyes. Sans chuckled softly, his pace casual as he stalked toward the child, his voice now a baritone growl, "Sorry, little bro... I wish it didn't have ta be this way. Really. I love you, and I did my best ta keep ya safe like Mom wanted, but y'know... we're all starvin'. There's no food and rations are startin' ta run out. There's barely enough food for Paps and I, let alone you too. We tried ta make it work, we really did." He paused, roughly stomping on one of Toby's legs and appearing unphased as the child screamed in pain. As he began to sob and plead with his eldest brother to stop, his small body began to tremble, and Sans sighed, continuing, "But it didn't go the way we wanted. We can barely feed two mouths, and with you here... it's makin' gettin' enough food even harder. 'Sides, you're sick and weak anyway. By gettin' rid a' ya, I'm actually helpin' you. Puttin' ya out of your misery, y'know?"

Tobias whimpered, "S-Sans, brother, please! Please don't do this!" Sans hummed, leaning over his kid brother to reach around him, his stained fingers tracing along his jaw. As his grip suddenly tightened, his smile faded, now a frustrated frown, "Toby, I been thinkin' about this whole thing nonstop for a while now. I've exhausted myself from it, and we've already run out of other options. This is the only thing left that we can do." The child sobbed, attempting to turn his head and look up at Sans over his shoulder, "Sans, come on... I love you, brother! You're really smart, there has to be another way! Maybe something you haven't thought of yet!" The eldest of the two growled softly in irritation, shaking his head, "I'm sorry, but there's not. If it makes this any easier on ya, I love ya too, and I so wish I didn't have ta do this." Processing Sans' words, Tobias began to thrash in the snow, screaming and calling out for their other brother to come help him. Sans grunted, roughly jerking his little brother's head to the side. There was a loud crack, and just like that... silence.

Sans let out a deep sigh, releasing Toby's head and stepping away from the body, hanging his head in shame as he began to tug at the edge of his head injury, mumbling to himself, "I tried ta protect him and Paps, Ma. I really did. I couldn't do it though, and I... I let you down, didn't I? I'm a disappointment, a failure, a disgrace. Ya shouldn't have gone and left us alone like ya did. If you were still here right now, we wouldn't be-" "SANS? BROTHER, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE OFF TO NOW?"

Upon being interrupted by Papyrus, Sans blinked, taking notice of something wet on his face. He gently touched the wetness then pulled his hand back, noticing the blue tinted tears on his fingertips; Huh. So he'd been crying, it seemed. Papyrus appeared at the end of the path and called out to Sans again, snapping his older brother out of his hazy train of thought. When the two finally left, an apparition appeared, standing beside Toby's body. It became the shape of a human woman, frowning as she looked down at the child who laid in the snow. As a single tear ran down her face, she knelt, reaching out to gently run a hand over his skull. One of his eye lights reappeared, now resembling a snowflake as it flickered in his socket. He lifted his gaze, his tears now crimson as he whimpered brokenly, his voice barely audible, "M-Mom?..."

~~

Thunder clapped loudly, causing the walls of the house to shake. Famine could hear War nearly shrieking through their thin, shared wall, and he sighed, slowly sitting up in bed. Moving over to his window, he pushed the curtains aside, peering outside and watching the sky as he listened to the sound of the pouring rain. He hated and loved thunderstorms at the same time; It was always cool to watch the lightning that came with it, but the noise from the thunder and the way the rain made everything wet? He could live without those. Along the edge of the nearby forest, he could've sworn he'd seen a figure moving. Squinting his sockets as he tried to get a better look, lightning flickered across the sky, illuminating the figure again.

It was a woman.

That hair, those clothes, the way she held herself... It was familiar, somehow. Through his fractured mind, he attempted to put the pieces together and make sense of it, his memories not quite aligning with one another. Lightning flickered again, and a second figure appeared, smaller than the first. The way they stood together made it appear as though they were holding hands. Just as Famine thought he'd figured out why the first figure seemed familiar, both of them vanished. A moment passed before he spotted the next flash of lightning, and the childlike apparition that now stood much closer to his window. Tilting its head up to lock gazes with him, the apparition stared, crimson tears running down his face. Famine also stared in a mix of confusion and shock, his sockets widening. There... There was no way. That wouldn't make sense. There was no way in hell that could be Toby... right?

The temperature of his room dropped by a noticeable degree and the rider let out a shaky breath. As he began to hear a woman crying, he slowly turned around, his soul pounding in his rib cage. A ghostly figure now stood in the room with him, tears running down her face as she watched him. Drawing in a sharp, trembling breath of her own, she sobbed, as if completely heartbroken, "Sans... Why did you do it? Sans, why?..." Famine began to tremble, frozen in place as he stared at her. She reached out to him, her touch chilling him to his very core as she continued sobbing, "Please tell me why, Sans... Why did you do it?..." Blue tinted tears began to drip down his face and he shook his head, his rough voice cracking, "...I... I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so... so sorry." Chest heaving, he used a shortcut, vanishing from the room.

Reappearing in his partner's room, he practically dove into bed with him, shoving the curtains that surrounded the bed out of the way. Visibly startled, Retribution stared up at him, his brow bones becoming knit in confusion, "Famine? What are you-" He yelped as Famine lunged forward, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly. As he pressed his face into his boyfriends chest, attempting to hide in the fabric of his pajama shirt, his body shook and he began to cry. Feeling sadness, fear, and guilt practically rolling off of him in waves, Retribution frowned, gently wrapping his arms around Famine and holding him close, gently petting his head. Clinging to him, Famine sniffled, his voice soft, "Ret, 'm sorry... I didn't mean ta just... appear like this. I needed ta get away from her though. I can't face her, not after what I did." The former prince sighed softly, his normally sharp tone now soothing, "Hush, hush... It's alright, Famine. It's alright, I don't mind you coming here... Who did you need to get away from, though? What happened?"

Famine reluctantly pulled back just enough to meet Ret's concerned gaze, pointing in the direction of his room with a shaky hand, "M-My mom... and Toby. They're supposed to be dead, but they came back. Mom was... she was cryin' and she kept askin' me why I did it. She was askin' me why I killed my brother, why I killed Toby. I couldn't... I couldn't deal with that, and I had ta get away from 'er." Sensing nothing but truth coming from his partner, Retribution hummed, continuing to delicately run a hand over Famine's head, being mindful of his head injury. Without a second thought, he asked, "Would you like to stay here tonight? I'll be up for a while yet, so I can keep an eye on you, if that'd make you feel any better."

Famine seemed to immediately perk up, his single eye light growing brighter as he stared at his partner hopefully, another tear dripping down his face as he nodded, "Y-Yeah, I'd like that... Are ya really ok with that though?... I could ruin your bedding with my claws and spikes. Then you'd also be close ta somebody that used to eat people, somebody who kills kids, somebody who murdered his own baby bro, somebody who-" Retribution sighed deeply, narrowing his sockets as he cut off Famine, "Famine, do us both a favor and shut it. I know what I'm getting into, ok?" The taller rider trailed off into silence and as his eye light dimmed the slightest bit, the former prince's expression softened. Gently wiping away the stray tear, he continued, his voice softer than before, "I know what I'm getting into... I've known since I started feeling things for you. Hell, I've known since I became your friend. I know what you've done. While those things can't be undone, you've learned from them. You have no desire to repeat those mistakes, so you're a different guy now. I never thought I could've learned to love someone who could so readily kill their own family... their own marrow and magical essence. But..."

The smaller of the two paused again, hesitating a moment before he delicately traced his thumb over Famine's teeth, his own cheekbones flushing cyan. Sheepishly meeting the taller's gaze and holding it, he offered him a small, yet genuine smile and murmured, "But I did. I learned to love you, regardless of the things you've done, and I don't intend to let anything change that, either. Also, Famine, I couldn't care less if your claws and spikes ruined my bedding. I have money. If we need to buy more, then we will. It's not a problem to me. If you'd feel better here with me, then I'd be happy to have you." Famine continued staring at Retribution, a blue blush slowly spreading across his face as he processed everything the other had just said to him. When he spoke, his voice was no more than a low mumble, "You... Ya really mean all that, Ret?... Ya really... love me?" Sensing the embarrassment and confusion coming from his partner, Retribution smiled softly, his blush visibly darkening, "I apologize if the words are too strong or sudden, but yes. I really do love you, Famine."

The taller rider was silent, his eye light becoming brighter again. More tears pricked at his sockets and he whispered, "Why though?... Look at me, Firefly. 'M a child killer, a former human eater, I scare everyone who looks at me, and I'm hideous. I got so much baggage, and I'm... I'm unlovable. Why would ya love someone like me?..." Retribution sighed softly again, gently cupping the other's face with both hands, "I love you because I can see all the guilt and pain you carry, and how despite that, you press on. You keep going, and I think that's admirable, and so, so strong. You don't let your past define you anymore, and that's beautiful. Also," he paused, his tone growing stern, "Don't ever call yourself hideous or unlovable again, understand? I don't want you saying such things about yourself. Not when you're so full of love to give, and so very handsome."

Famine's blush darkened several shades and he nodded, still clinging to his smaller partner. At his silence, one of Ret's ghostly tendrils appeared, hooking itself around the covers beside Retribution and pulling them down. Pointing to the open space with his tentacle, the former prince murmured, "There you go, you big oaf. I hope the bed is comfortable enough, and that you're able to sleep well tonight." Famine smiled sheepishly, and as he began to loosen his grip on Ret and move away from him, the same tendril from before stopped him, gently wrapping around his arm. He glanced at it curiously, then shifted his attention to Ret, who merely lifted a hand to lightly tap on his teeth, playfully arching a brow bone at him, "What, no kiss goodnight?" Famine felt more heat rush to his face and let out a deep breath, smiling slightly, "Damn, I shoulda figured ya might want that."

Retribution chuckled softly in amusement, the sound dying down as his partner kissed him. The kiss, though soft, lingered a moment, and as the two began to part from it, Famine breathed out, "I love you too, Ret. Ya dunno what you mean ta me..." Ret's cheekbones became dusted cyan again and he smiled softly, watching as Famine laid down beside him, curling into a ball on his side and trying to muffle a soft yawn. It didn't take long for Famine to doze off, still curled into a ball as he snored softly. Retribution's gaze was full of affection as he kept watch over his sleeping form, occasionally caressing the top of his skull or touching his face. As he decided to finally call it a night, he made himself comfortable beside Famine, feeling vaguely embarrassed as he cuddled closer to his partner.

He'd felt himself beginning to doze off as well, but then he snapped to full awareness again as he began to sense the emotions of someone who'd just appeared in the room with them. As the first of two figures began to make their way around the bed, Ret's cyan eye lights locked onto them, watching closely as they drew nearer and nearer to Famine. The ghostly apparition of a human woman passed partially through the curtains that hung down around Ret's bed, her cheeks stained by tears as she looked down at Famine. As one of her hands reached out to gently touch his face, he shivered, but otherwise remained asleep. Tapping into the woman's emotions, Retribution felt her sadness and a sense of betrayal, he felt her disappointment and anger, but above all else, he felt her immense love for Famine. Turning her head, the woman met the former prince's gaze, offering him a small smile. Although it was very faint, she murmured, "My son... You love my son... Thank you..."

Retribution blinked in surprise, while the spirit shifted her attention, watching as a smaller figure moved around to Famine's side of the bed to stand with her. The former prince stared as a child pushed aside the curtains, appearing much more solid than who he'd assumed was his mother. With his good arm, the child reached out to delicately pat his elder brother's arm through the blankets, radiating not a single ounce of hesitation or fear. The child wrapped his arm around his brother in a half hug, momentarily lying his head on his back despite his spiked spine. Famine grumbled something under his breath, but showed no signs of waking up.

Then almost as soon as they'd appeared, the two figures were gone again. Though they were strange and slightly spooky, Retribution squeezed his eyes shut, deciding to brush them off. Cuddling close to Famine again, he felt heat rush to his face as Famine shifted, wrapping an arm loosely around him. This was precisely what Retribution had meant when he'd said his partner had a lot of love to give, and he wished Famine knew what he was doing right now so he could make his point. When the next morning arrived, the taller rider stirred first, groaning faintly as he opened his sockets and yawned. He absentmindedly stretched his arms and legs, but then he paused, feeling someone clinging to him. He blinked; Oh yeah... this wasn't his room, was it?

Looking down at his shorter partner, he sighed, smiling softly. The former prince was still asleep, cuddled as close to him as possible and tightly clutching his shirt. He gently placed a hand on Ret's face, and despite his aching back, he leaned down a bit, pressing a soft kiss to his head and murmuring lowly, "Good mornin', Beautiful..." Retribution yawned, releasing Famine's shirt to rub his sockets. As he began to wake up and register the other's presence, he hummed, his otherwise sleep-laced tone holding a hint of playfulness, "Good morning, Handsome." Famine snorted softly in amusement, arching a brow bone, "I dunno if 'handsome' is the word for it, but yeah, I guess maybe I have a certain charm, huh?" Retribution hummed again, his tendrils suddenly emerging and capturing his partner. While Ret scooted back away from him, two tentacles gripped his arms and pulled him up into a sitting position, while the other two wriggled behind him. The first two pushed him back down onto his back, his spiked spine cushioned between the second pair of tendrils.

As they widened and grew in size, the first pair released Famine's arms in favor of joining then, adding to the cushioning beneath him. Famine's sockets widened in surprise as Retribution climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and trying to look stern as he crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring the cyan heat that rushed to his cheekbones. Famine's hands instinctively moved to hold the other's hips, his entire face immediately flushing a deep shade of his signature faded denim blue as he stared up at Ret. In turn, the former prince huffed, his eyes narrowed in false irritation, "Famine, don't try to say otherwise. I'm attracted to you, and I think you're handsome... Very handsome. Do you really wish to contradict me?"

Famine nervously swallowed, shaking his head, "Nah... 'm not tryna contradict ya, firefly. S'just that I don't see what you do, I guess." Retribution let out a deep breath, rolling his eye lights. A brief moment passed before his expression softened and he tilted his head, looking down at the taller of the two and murmuring, "Firstly... you should see yourself when you're in the kitchen. When you're in your element and cooking for everyone, your movement becomes graceful and knowing. Everything is done with purpose, and is deliberate. Secondly, although your sense of humor is questionable at times, it's unique and it's part of what makes you... You. And then next up, there's your eye..."

He paused, slowly leaning down over his partner and gently cupping his face with both hands, lowering his voice further, "You might've lost one of your eyes a while ago due to a series of rather unfortunate events, but the one you still have is utterly captivating. When our gazes become locked, it's like I'm mesmerized. I can't bring myself to look away. That eye of yours ignites this flame in my soul, and I can't describe the way it feels." Famine felt as though he couldn't breathe, still staring up at his partner with widened sockets, flushed blue all the way down to his shoulders. Noticing the rush of surprise, embarrassment, disbelief, and elation that the other was feeling, Retribution smiled to himself; He wasn't lying when he'd told Famine that he found him handsome, but at this particular moment, there was nothing cuter than that look he was wearing. So surprised, so flustered... Ret loved it.

[alyasalias]

Dabi Theory

I have a theory that Dabi is secretly on the Hero-side of things...or at least not 100% on the Villain's side. Spoilers for the Training Camp Arc as well as for the latest fights in the manga. You have been warned.

I've been re-reading HeroAca lately and I'm currently at the Summer Training Camp arc. I just got to the point where Eraserhead is fighting the Dabi clone and I noticed something odd: what Dabi said. Dabi tipped them off to the fact that the students were the target. Sure, what he said could have been a jab at the heroes...but I wonder if perhaps it was a veiled message like what Hawks did with Endeavor and the book.

Magne was quick to figure out the fact that someone spilled the beans on "Bakugo Katsuki" being their target and she/they seemed really panicked that it had been found out. Through the process of elimination, she/they deduced that Izuku must have fought Muscular, 'cuz there were only a couple of people on their team that she/they believed could have been the leak. It seemed like secrecy was a big deal for this band of villains.

Dabi's a smart guy as well. We've seen very little of him, and know even less about him...but we know he's calculating. We know he's not impulsive or whatever. He was the one in charge of recruiting Hawks when recruitment was usually Twice's job. He was the one that had the most contact with Hawks and also the one that trusted Hawks the least out of all of the Villains. He even lied to Hawks about the Nomu attack. "It was supposed to be tomorrow--in a different location"--Hawks said to him. Through his actions, we can kind of infer that Dabi is a cunning and calculating sort of person. I don't think he's done anything on impulse. He doesn't seem like some for-laughs villain that'll spill the beans for fun.

So...yeah, what the Dabi-clone said to Eraserhead got me thinking: what if Dabi has been on their side all along...or at least he's not 100% on All For One's side. He joined the League claiming to be inspired by Stain or whatnot...so the whole "punish the 'Heroes' that aren't selfless enough" sort of thing. We know that Twice doesn't control what the clones think, know, or feel. The clones know everything that the originals know at the point they were cloned, so the Dabi-clone wasn't saying all of that because it was Twice's words...they were Dabi-prime's words/thoughts/actions.

Dabi's a smart guy--he always has been. He had know way of knowing what Eraserhead and the teachers/adults knew. It was a chaotic situation--the teachers were panicking, trying to corral all of the students to the building. The students were scattered over a large area. There was mass confusion--that would have been clear. It would have been safe to assume the teachers didn't know what the Villains were after or even if they had a goal in mind for this particular attack. For USJ they had a clear objective: they wanted to kill All Might but All Might wasn't there when they got there--they admitted that much. Hosu and the Hero-Killer incident(s) were a bit more of an unknown for the side of the Heroes, and the way everyone talked about it made it seem like they believed Stain had joined the League and that's why the Nomu were there...so as far as the Villains know, the Heroes believed that Hosu was a coordinated attack with the Hero-Killer simply to attack things. Then we come to the training camp..."the students are the target" wouldn't be their first thought, I'm pretty sure. If I were one of the teachers I'd be thinking, "crap--do they think All Might's at this camp?" or even "damn...they found us somehow. Is there a traitor in our midst that leaked the information or is it just a coincidence that the Villains are here now and they decided to attack for no reason like in Hosu?" Officially, to the characters within the HeroAca universe at least, the students haven't been the target of Villain attacks. They were involved, but they weren't the primary targets at any point up to the present.

Dabi's a smart guy, so I don't think he'd leak information even in jest. He seems like the type to keep his mouth shut rather than go for a way to rile up his opponent. He had nothing to gain from tipping off Eraserhead to the fact that the students were their target. Sure, it'd cause a panic and it'd take a while for the teachers to narrow down which student they were after...and maybe Dabi hoped to capitalize on the confusion that sort of panic would spread...or on the despair aspect if they failed to realize it was Katsuki until the last moment. However...I just don't think Dabi's that sort of person.

I think Dabi intentionally leaked the information to Eraserhead and disguised it as a jest. He intentionally waited until the clone was dying before he said it too and we've already established that the clones think/feel/know/act independently from Twice. Twice doesn't control the clones.

So...yeah...why leak the information, right? I have two theories on that. It's possible that Dabi's a secret agent--like Hawks--sent by some Hero commission or agency or whatever to infiltrate the League. Maybe a group realized that the whole "inspired by Stain and he was working with the League" rationale was a good cover and they sent Dabi in. Personally, I don't see too much support for this theory as of yet. We don't have anything on Dabi's backstory. Even his reveal to Hawks on what his real name was or whatever was blacked out in the manga. It's only fan theories that suggest he's Todoroki Touya. My second theory, and the one I think is more probable at this point with the evidence we have: Dabi is very much like Spinner--he's not on the Hero's side or the Villain's side, he's a man who was inspired by Stain and wants to do something about the plague of undeserving 'Heroes'. We see that sort of story play out in other media too--in the Doctor Strange movie they portrayed pre-mystic-arts-Strange as a pompous doctor that chose his cases based on the fame it would awarrd him rather than on saving lives. Heroes in it for the fame or for the money exist in HeroAca too and Stain hated them--All Might and Deku are currently the only people he believes worthy of the title of 'Hero'. Spinner held fast to those ideals, stopping Magne from killing Izuku during the training camp. It proved to me that Spinner, at the very least, isn't fully aligned with the League. He's following what he believes are Stain's ideals. He'll go along with their plans and whatever so long as All Might and Izuku aren't harmed (from what we've seen so far). I wonder if Dabi's the same way...but slightly more cunning. We know Spinner was a NEET and whatever before joining the League and at times he seems kind of lost or like he's being indoctrinated more and more into the League. If I assume Dabi's "smarter" than Spinner and that he did his homework on Stain...I believe that it's possible Dabi tipped off Eraserhead to the students being the target because of his beliefs. Stain wouldn't want to harm the children. The children aren't Heroes. Sure, they're Heroes-in-training and some of them have motivations that Stain would detest...but Stain did try to spare Tenya when he first saw him and realized that he was just a student. Maybe Dabi decided that an attack on students at a training camp wasn't in-line with Stain's ideals. They brought the fight to the students without provocation. Nobody said "well, this will be a hit to Hero society and All Might if we were to kill/kidnap a few students at camp". Their objective was to capture Bakugo Katsuki because they believed him to have the ideals of a Villain due to what they saw of him at the Sport's Festival. Stain wasn't interested in making Villains. In his own way, Stain was trying to create a better society. He was trying to get Heroes to wake up to the heart of the matter--to be altruistic and all. He wanted to create a world where Heroes did things for the sake of the people--not for fame, Hero-points, or money.

The more I think about this, the more I'm thinking that Dabi's tip-off that the students were the target was deliberate. He may not have been on the side of the Heroes, but he didn't want to see kids get kidnapped or killed. He didn't engage any of the students directly either. Their task was to capture Katsuki and go away and he recalled the Nomu just in time--preventing it from killing some students (potentially unknowingly). Also, there's that scene where he's clearly staring at the bushes that Aoyama was hiding behind. It's likely that he saw Aoyama and chose not to fight/kill a cowering student.

This theory also fits in with the latest fight we saw with Dabi too. Dabi vs. Hawks and Tsukuyomi. Hawks is number 2 on the Hero charts--the chart that Stain would have disapproved of. Hawks is a super popular Hero--he's famous--that's something else Stain would hate. Saving people's lives shouldn't become a spectacle or something that makes someone famous or whatever in their eyes. So...I think that Dabi wasn't just wary of Hawks joining the League...I think that if Dabi's an avid Stain-follower he never trusted Hawks in the first place because he disliked what Hawks represented in Hero society--#2 Hero of a broken system and basically the face of what hero-fame looks like. Stain wouldn't approve of Hawks being some super popular symbol. He can save people and make it look effortless with his feathers and whatever...Stain would probably be angry that Hawks gets paid to do it and that he gets all the fame and whatever...like "if it's gonna be that effortless for you and whatnot, then do it and move on...you should be doing it and you shouldn't be basking in the praise and glory--just save the people without stopping to be thanked and praised." It also fits with Tsukuyomi being able to run away with Hawks too. Lights are Dark Shadow's weakness and Dabi's is a fire Quirk--it would have been a really bad match up. Maybe they only got away because Dabi realized a couple of things: 1) Tsukuyomi was a student and 2) Tsukuyomi was acting like a true Hero in that moment. He wasn't just following orders or saving Hawks for the fame and glory. He saw his mentor up there and he moved without thinking to protect someone he saw needed help. He stood up to face Dabi, putting himself between the one that needed saving (Hawks) and the threat (Dabi) despite the fact that they were a poor match up. Stain would probably approve of Tsukuyomi's actions here--staring death in the face for no reason other than "I saw someone that needed help and I came to give them help".

[fmdkiana]

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

[very-grownup]

THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 3

Episode 11.

Self-governance is an illusion and humanity has replaced the decision-making process with some supercomputers because no one's read "I Have No Mouth and I Mist Scream".

The rest of Episode 11 and Episode 12 behind the cut.

So, there's this episode of Johnny Quest where a spaceship crash lands outside this military base and it leaves behind this black orb that in the night opens and it's a glowing red eye and super long spider legs extend and it shoots a laser out of its eye. The Angel in this episode reminds me of the giant space spider robot in that episode of Johnny Quest but it's like a rhomboid instead of an orb and it is covered in triangles and each triangle has an eye and later the eyes cry orange acid and that's upsetting but I love spider.

There's a power outage in this episode caused by I think the Angel just throwing a breaker and shutting everything down and absolutely no one was prepared for this eventuality. Like, everything is underground mostly and what emergency power there is gets diverted from the life support to the supercomputers which seems like the kind of decision EVIL SUPERCOMPUTERS WOULD MAKE but that's not even the important thing.

Shinji's been told by his teacher to talk to his dad because the kids are doing, like, their future goal planning guidance counselor stuff or whatever and parents need to be involved and the little scene of Shinji calling his father from a payphone is heartbreaking. Just awkward anxious stuttering mostly focused on Shinji's empty hand clenching and unclenching helplessly while his father interrupts him to tell him to spit it out already and tell him why he's broken what seems to be a no contact rule between them and it's so real. So futile. Shinji really tries to tell his father the message he's supposed to pass on only to get the brush-off again, the whole thing impatiently dismissed as unimportant and part of all the responsibilities for Shinji that have been delegated to Misato. Then we get the beginning of what is clearly Shinji's father telling his assistant not to forward Shinji's calls in the future before the power outage and the call disconnects. Shinji tries to talk to about this to Asuka and Rei. The disconnect has just enough uncertainty to it that Asuka is able to go 'sounds like a tech problem stop worrying so much and reading into it you wiener'. Shinji tries to lie to himself that Asuka's right even though this is just the latest bit of abusive negligence from his dad. It's sad, it's just so sad, it makes me so sad and there's no one to tell Shinji straight up that his dad sucks and is neglecting him and it's not cool and there's no excuse, not really.

There's stuff with the kids needing to get to NERV with the power out, Asuka trying to get into a power play with the others that they are completely disinterested in, a clearly anxious and adrift Shinji asking '... it's weird we're being attacked by things we call angels right?'

The kids get to the robots which have been prepared for them. Shinji sees his father working with the grunts to get the robots ready all analogue and hand-cranked or whatever and he's allowed to believe this is because his dad had faith the kids, including Shinji, would get there. Which is such a cruel lie to perpetuate about this man who was ready to drop a nuke on his son in the last episode, but Shinji takes it and actually gets into the robot with spirit because he's so desperate to believe that he's even on his father's radar, let alone important to him.

They have to chop a bunch of tubes with axes so the robots can punch and kick their way to the Angel and get acid-cried on and when the tubes are axed they gush really upsetting fluid and I hate it. But mostly I just keep thinking about Shinji's empty hand clutching at nothing while trying to get his father to hear him. This concludes my report on Episode 11 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Episode 12.

In the year 2000, as we all remember, Antarctica got blown the fuck up by an energy giant appearing. Who survived this incident? Misato and I assume a single penguin. Misato was a child who was there with her father because no one knows what work-life balance is or where it's appropriate to bring children and to save her, her father put her in a metal coffin tube. TRAUMA.

Back in the present (I have now forgotten what year this is supposed to be taking place in), Misato has been promoted to major and Shinji's two friends, the horny boys who try to have an empathy, notice before Shinji and Asuka do (parental figures can never change). It turns out with her promotion and Shinji's shitty dad and that other old dude being away (in Antarctica where everything is blood and northern lights), Misato is the most senior person at NERV and I got a feeling so complicated. Because it's great that professionally Misato is getting recognition and authority, especially in the wake of Kaji existing, but ... Misato is a disaster and NERV is a disaster and being the top disaster dog of a disaster seems ... not great.

There's a bit that is both sweet and sad where Shinji's friends make them throw a little party to celebrate Misato's promotion and they are genuinely trying to do something nice for her even if it's partially propelled by horniness but also ... no peers? Honey. (Ritsuko and Kaji do show up so it's not just Misato and middle schoolers but Kaji is a negative to the adult count, the peer count, and the friend count so it's all null.)

The important thing in this episode is the connection and parallels between Shinji and Misato. Shinji realizes that although they're celebrating her promotion, Misato isn't happy. Misato admits this is kind of the case and Shinji is baffled. The promotion means that outside authority figures have recognized Misato's hard work and are validating it and why wouldn't that make Misato happy? Surely that's why people do things, to get external validation? Because it's why Shinji makes the decisions he makes. Validation and happiness are complicated, naturally, and it's saying that, but also implicit in the exchange is that Shinji has never received external validation. This is his holy grail. Once he has that surely everything will feel different.

When an Angel that looks like an orange boomerang or maybe a bop-it with an huge eyeball in the centre attacks and Misato's in charge, she uses her authority to make some wild and risky calls which boil down to 'throw all the teens in robots at it at once'.

The Angel drops orange globs of itself onto the earth below and each glob is like a little nuke that leaves a smoking crater behind but it's pretty cute, like someone put decarabia from SMT through a funhouse mirror. Not a fan of the orange globs, though.

Ritsuko confronts Misato in the bathroom about making bad decisions for the wrong reasons (as opposed to her usual bad decisions but for the right reason), suggesting that Misato just wants to get revenge on the Angels and destroy them which ... is what I thought NERV was for? It seems very double-standard and bullshit and I don't buy it as being something that makes Misato's decisions any better or worse than they would be otherwise. Ritsuko just seems to be covering her ass because Shinji's dad is away and only he gets to send teens into death.

Misato takes some time to explain to Shinji why she joined NERV and the complicated feelings she has not towards the Angels but to her father, who was a shitty father who was emotionally distant and neglectful and only seems to have managed to be a good dad once before promptly dying. Misato is still trying to figure out the intersection between anger and grief and how to feel about a man who does important work and to who she doubly owes her life but who was a shitty dad in a moment-by-moment sense. The guilt of still being angry, even after his death: Misato is still grappling with this and the echoes of shitty parenting, a cyclical thing that she is simultaneously enabling and attempting to divert by stepping into Shinji's life and it's no surprise something she's still grappling with flies over Shinji's head.

The kids get in the robots to fight the Angel all at once in Misato's reckless plan that works because ALL THE PLANS ARE THROWING TEENS IN ROBOTS AT GIANT MONSTERS. One of the kids tears the membrane off the giant eye and stabs it with a giant robot knife and it's gross. ALSO on defeat the Angel STILL BLOWS UP AND LEAVES A HUGE CRATER, SOMEHOW THIS IS SUCCESS?

Shinji's shitty dad calls in to validate and commend Misato's incredibly reckless decision because of course he doesn't have a problem with plans that might kill teens. He was ready to nuke his son an episode ago! Shinji's shitty dad then speaks to him directly, calls him by name, and basically tells him 'good work' and between this and his talks with Misato, Shinji learns the lesson that if he continues to do this thing he hates beyond all understanding, his father will see him. It's awful because Misato was trying to find words to explain how fleeting to nothingness external validation is when it doesn't align with your own desires and this didn't reach Shinji but also because what his father gives him is lip service. Empty words. Nothing. But they're still the most Shinji seems to have ever gotten from his father and so this nothing is everything. This concludes my report on Episode 12 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Supplemental: with how poorly Misato explains things to Shinji, it feels like she's never spoken about her anger towards her father and her anger about her anger being complicated by his sacrifice and death. She has no real friends she feels safe opening up to.

[collecting-stories]

Tenerife Sea - Connor Murphy

A/N: I’m projecting in this one but honestly I just wanted to write a mildly autistic love interest for Connor cause ya know?

And all of the voices surrounding us here, they just fade out when you take a breath. - Tenerife Sea, Ed Sheeran

\\\

He didn’t care. Or so he told himself. It wasn’t that he cared, it was just that he was curious. He’d been seeing you every day at school since 6th grade when the elementary school’s merged to the middle school and he was stuck sitting behind you in home room. However it worked out in computer systems or principal’s heads you were always in the same home room and you were always sitting in front of him. Like some assigned algorithm and not just a random chance that kept occurring the same way over and over. Did you know you always sat in front of him. Whether he really thought about it enough to analyze the feeling he was sure that he liked you sitting in front of him. So much so that as you slid into the seat in front of him that first morning of senior year he almost felt himself exhale all the negative energy that had been clogging his lungs like smoke.  

You always wore your hair the same way, since sixth grade. And you had some variation of the same plastic, blush pink rimmed glasses. They only changed minutely when the prescription needed to be altered. And you always wore stripes. You must’ve had a million striped shirts in all different colours and sizes. Some skinny stripes, some fat, some were pastel in color and others just plain black. He thought about your striped shirts a lot. But he didn’t care. You could wear what you wanted, it was your body. If you liked stripes who was he to judge. Who would care if he did.  

“Hi Connor, how was your summer?” You always greeted him too.  

He liked the greeting best after breaks or on a Monday, because you always asked what he did while you didn’t see him. As if you were friends and you wanted to genuinely know how he was.  

But it was his secret and he couldn’t let you in on it, “fine.”  

“That’s good,” and sometimes you would let the subject drop and start pulling out the perfectly organized binder and notebook that you always had on hand along with a pencil case crammed with color coded pens and highlighters. Once you lent him a pastel green pen because you only had one black and it was still sitting on his nightstand in his room. Like some cherished gift from a friend.  

After home room most of your classes didn’t line up. And four days out of five you had study hall at the end of the day. The school called it senior privilege and told the kids they could leave early if they maintained good grades and didn’t have an excess of absences. They didn’t dare align Connor’s classes so that he could get off early. By senior year they knew him too well. Even without the okay he rarely stuck around for the entire day. The first week in and he was cutting out early.  

“Hey Connor,” a week in and you were still greeting him everyday, “you weren’t in science so I got the homework for you.” This was the other thing you did, Connor noted. You always gave him homework when he was out. The year he flipped out on the home room teacher and shoved his desk to the ground he got suspended for a week and you had volunteered (though he was sure they assigned you) to pick up his homework everyday.  

“Yeah, thanks.” But he didn’t try to take it so you left it on the desk.  

Two weeks in and you were wearing a plain gray sweater with jeans. He felt jittery that morning, like he couldn’t relax the right way and he spent the thirty minutes of home room shifting uncomfortably in his seat trying to determine why he felt so anxious. When he saw you later the gray sweater was stuffed in your locker and a gray and white striped shirt was on you. He could catch his breath, he felt himself relax.  

Three weeks in, sitting outside the office as the principal finished a meeting with his parents he saw you leaving the nurses office.  

“Hey,” he called for you and when you turned around you had the most shocked expression on your face. To be fair you always talked to Connor but he never talked to you first. When he did speak to you it was just one or two words, nothing monumental.  

“Yeah?”  

“You alright?” He noticed the stripes peeking out from beneath your gray sweater.  

“Oh yeah, just a migraine.” You replied. “Are you in trouble?” When you whispered the last part he wanted to laugh. You sounded like a kindergartener afraid an adult would overhear you.  

He shrugged. He was always in trouble. This time he’d gotten into it with the English teacher. Last week he’d gotten into a fight with another kid. It just depended he supposed.  

“Well it’s not weed but here,” you produced a lollipop, a cotton candy dum-dum to be exact, from your backpack and offered it to him, “makes me feel better when I’m anxious.”  

“I’m not.” He replied. Now he really did feel like he was in elementary school.  

“Yeah, no, I just mean, it might help you calm down.”  

“I don’t need to calm down. I’m perfectly calm.”  

“Okay,” you nodded and he thought for the first time you looked far more upset than he’d ever seen you. “I’ll see you in science?”  

“Probably not.”  

“I’ll get your homework then.”  

“Don’t bother.”  

That Monday you only smiled at him but didn’t say hello and didn’t ask how his weekend was. You went to the nurse’s office right after home room and then when he saw you again at lunch you were reading by yourself at the end of a table. Were you always by yourself? He couldn’t remember if he’d ever noticed before. The rest of the week was the same and he felt like all he could concentrate on was where you were. In class, in the hallway, in the lunch room. By Friday he realized that you might have less friends than he did, at least he had Evan sometimes.  

When the week started over you didn’t sit in front of him in home room and he found himself searching for the striped shirt in the hallway. You were absent Tuesday and Wednesday and when you came back on Thursday you looked tired. Did you always look so tired?  

“Hey,” Connor caught you leaving the school for senior privilege, stopping you in the parking lot.  

“Oh, Connor, hi.” You smiled.  

“Are you alright?” He asked, glancing back at the school building and then you again, “I saw you in the nurses office.”  

“I had a migraine.”  

Connor wanted to kick himself for not being more eloquent, “you get those a lot.”  

You shrugged, “school makes me anxious sometimes. Hey, sorry if I upset you. I didn’t mean to.”  

“You didn’t.” He assured, “I was just having a shitty day.”  

“Do you have senior privilege?”  

He shook his head and almost smiled when he watched your eyes get wide. “You shouldn’t be out here, you could get in trouble. Did you drive to school?”

“Walked.”

“Well you could come to my house? My mom should be home but she won’t mind,” you had already begun to walk in the direction of your house, “she’s always bugging me to bring friends over.”  

“I don’t really think we’re friends.” Connor pointed out.  

“No, yeah, right, of course. I just mean, you know. Well you don’t have to come over obviously, it’s whatever. You know?” Your words tumbled out and he noted the same disappointed expression as when he wouldn’t take the lollipop you offered up.  

He wanted to apologise, to rewind and not tell you that he wasn’t your friend cause you seemed so bothered that he wasn’t. “I don’t have anything else better to do.” A harsher phrase but he wasn’t exactly good at conveying feelings to others.  

Your house was nice, it was clean inside and you offered Connor a water bottle before leading him upstairs to your bedroom. He wondered what the chances were of you letting him smoke in your house. There were three cats and the one you picked up the moment you had your shoes off and carried like a baby all the way up to your bedroom. When you got up to go the bathroom Connor couldn’t help taking a peek in your dresser.  

“What are you doing?” You were standing in the open doorway, frown set as you stared at Connor. He still had his hand on the drawer handle.  

“Sorry,” he shut the drawer and took a step back, “you wear a lot of stripes.”  

“I like stripes.”  

“I could tell.”  

“I didn’t invite you over so you could make fun of me Connor.” You had been trying for much longer than it was worth to get Connor Murphy to be your friend. You’d made every effort to talk to him, to be nice to him, and it always felt like you were just missing the mark. You’d been more excited than you should’ve when he agreed to come over and you were hurt that he was only here to rifle through your stuff.  

“I’m not making fun of you.” Connor assured, hands raised in surrender. “I like stripes.”  

You eyed him sceptically.  

Connor was telling the truth though. He did like stripes and blush pink glasses and the way you cut your hair and coloured pens and lollipops that tasted like cotton candy. He liked your gray sweater and that you never wore any polish on your nails or any make up at all and that you told him funny stories about your weekends. He liked those jeans with the hole in the knee and your Birkenstock’s with wool socks in the winter no matter how many times they told you open footwear wasn’t allowed.  

And for the first time in his life he took Evan’s advice and didn’t try to hide behind a sarcastic comment, “I like when you wear stripes.”  

“Oh,” you felt your face grow warm at the admission, “uh, thank you?”

Connor smiled and moved closer to you, “I wasn’t trying to be an ass to you, I just wasn’t sure how to...what to say.”  

“What?” You bit your lip, skin prickling with goosebumps as he closed the distance between the two of you. “What do you mean?”  

You’d liked Connor Murphy since you first laid eyes on him in sixth grade. Eleven years old and your heart was pounding because he was the cutest boy you’d ever seen. And he wasn’t always nice but he’d always been nice to you. Your attempts at friendship had been null but you liked talking to him and he’d never complained about it until now.  

“I was just trying to...I though pushing you away would be better.”

“Why?”  

Connor’s hands were shaking, this was the most open he’d been in long time without raising his voice or losing his temper. The first time he was purposely telling someone something and still the words wouldn’t come out. “You know why.”  

You looked like you understood, there was that brief flicker of something that suggested you knew what he meant, what he couldn’t say, but it disappeared in an instant. You looked at him with the same sort of surprised expression you had when he had spoken to you in the hallway. As if it was so unreal that he would think about you and somehow it irritated him that you could even entertain the idea that he didn’t spend every waking minute thinking of you. That he hadn’t bought a pair of striped socks, which he was wearing at this very moment, because they made him think of you.  

“I don’t-“ you tried to form a coherent sentence but Connor’s hands were suddenly on either side of your face and he was leaning in and his lips pressed against yours and you could feel his thumb brush your cheek, smearing a nervous tear.  

You kissed him back almost immediately, as if it was an instinct that your body was just waiting to acknowledge. You reached for his shirt, trying to pull him closer to you than he already was, desperate to feel him. It was a good kind of sensory overload where you were both certain that you saw stars when you closed your eyes.  

You were the first to break the kiss, the sound of footsteps on the stairwell had you pushing him away. “My mom!”  

Connor brushed his hair back, neck and face red with warmth from actually kissing you. He couldn’t stop smiling, not even when your mom appeared in the open doorway.  

“Oh hi, you didn’t say you were having anyone over.” She looked pleasant enough and Connor suddenly felt very self-conscious. She’d probably call all the other moms in the neighbourhood and they would rat him out. Warn her against letting her kid be alone with Connor Murphy, the psycho freak.  

“Uh, mom this is Connor.” You waved between them nervously. You’d already unloaded so much about Connor on your mom you could only pray she didn’t embarrass you.  

“The Connor? How nice to meet you,” she grinned, that sort of knowing smile that only mother’s had, “keep the door open.” And then she was gone, headed down the hallway to her own room.  

You turned back to look at him and both spoke at the same time “Sorry,” “I should get going.”  

“No wait,” you held your hands up, as if you could physically keep him in your room, “just, we can hang out, she doesn’t care. She’s just being weird cause I always talk about you.”  

“You always talk about me?” He couldn’t help the grin. You always talked about him? What kinds of things did you notice about him?  

“I mean...like, not in a creepy way or anything, just like. Oh god, I just kissed you I can’t even talk to you.”  

“You sound like Evan.”

“That’s not helping.” You groaned. You fell onto your bed, covering your face with your hands.  

“I don’t exactly talk to my parents but I certainly think about you all the time.” He admitted, if only to see that smile again.  

You slowly uncovered your face, looking up at him through more nervous tears. “Really?”  

“Yeah,” he came over and sat next to you. “You and your five million striped shirts.”  

“Shut up,” your laugh turned into a squeal when he leaned over and pressed his lips against your neck.  

-

I don’t know what to say here. 

[boku-no-imagine-this]

Siren

Izuku Midoriya x reader

a/n: my contribution to Mermay is finally here! It took a while since I’ve been getting through a lot of requests and have been going through a lot. This was supposed to be posted a few days ago but I was in a dark place and wasn’t in the right mind. 

The viridian haired male grunted as he pushed the large chunk of metal. He gritted his teeth and winced, struggling to pull the ropes connected to the refrigerator.

“C-come…. On!” he winced, taking another step forward.

Midoriya let out a cry as he pushed it one last time to the pile. He looked at it from afar and saw that it had grown, yet was still lacking, considering a large amount of trash still scattered around the beach. He used his wrist to wipe of sweat that had built up on his forehead. Just as he was about to start pushing another one, a faint melody had made its way to his ears. Midoriya furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as the melody somehow kept getting louder and louder.

The melody was sweet; lilting and sonorous purity. It seemed melancholic but something about the song was beautiful. It allured him. He found himself involuntary walking towards the place the pleasant and delighting elegy was coming from.

Midoriya’s body found its way in the position where his knees and lower area of his legs were dug into the wet sand as waves gently moved and wet the edge of his shorts. He was dazed.

In front of him was the source of the melody. Now with it directly in front of him, the melody rang and echoed in his ears. His viridescent irises were aligned with e/c ones that reflected the warm colors of the sunset. The melody began to fade away with the figure in front of him inching closer.

Once the melody had finally stopped, Midoriya was still dazed but the fact that the song had stopped had become clear to him. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him and the warmth on his lips.

The figure had finally pulled away from the kiss.

After a few moments of processing the whole ordeal in his mind, Midoriya yelled in shock. “W-what just happened? Where am I? Who are you? What is this?” he began mumbling, going into his infamous spree of inaudible rush of words.

Your eyes had widened. “Woah Woah easy there” you spoke up, causing him to scream again. You observed the male. He had dark, curly and messy green hair that matched his eyes, along with freckles on his cheeks that were currently tinted with pink.

“Y-y-y-y-you have a tail!” he yelled, stammering, unable to believe what he was seeing.

“Calm down kid, just breathe in, breathe out.” you attempted to speak up. He did so and finally cooled down by what it looked like. “Alright. Now that you’ve calmed down, I may need some clothes or a towel” you said.

“Eh? What for?” he asked. “And what are you?” he asked. “Well, to be more specific, Who are you?”

“My name’s Y/n L/n. I’m human obviously, and if you haven’t noticed, and I’d be half naked if I got up now” you deadpanned.

“O-oh. I understand..” he softly trailed off.

You sighed, “I have a quirk, Siren, aside from my ability of hydrokinesis, the downside of my quirk is that I’m well… A siren unless I kiss someone then I can become human with legs for half a month. If it wears out, I have to stay back to the water or I’ll get severely injured. I can stay on land with legs but if half of my body makes contact with water, I go back to a siren, the only time I have legs is when I’m dry” you explained, “Understood?”

He slowly nodded, “That’s an interesting quirk and downside…” he muttered until a realization had struck him. “W-wait! Does that mean you kissed me?!” he asked, yelling. You nodded, “I just said that” you shrugged your shoulders.

“That means you used me to your advantage” he muttered once again, causing blood to rush up to your cheeks.

“It’s not counted as sexual harassment!” you yelled, hitting him with your F/c tail instinctively. “Anyways, do you have spare clothes or a towel I can cover up with?” you inquired and he nodded.

“I have a towel I haven’t used yet. You can borrow it for a while” he said as you smiled at him. “Thanks” you replied.

“I’ll go get it no-” he stood up but cut himself off. “If I let you borrow the towel, how will you give it back, and where would you go?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Food, do things I can’t do in the ocean, that is until I find someone else to kiss and the cycle would repeat”

“Have you ever done this before?” he questioned.

You shook your head, causing his eyes to widen. “Wait, how long have you been there?” He asked.

“I don’t know” You said, “If anything, I only know what I do and say through what people who pass by the beach say. I gave myself a name, my quirk a name, and learned how life is through eavesdropping on people’s conversations” you sighed.

“I see…” The male responded. “I know. I’m currently training to go to a school that will train me to become a Pro Hero so-”

“Hmn, that explains what you’ve been doing with the old man and the furniture” you cut him off, voicing out your thoughts.

“Y-yeah!” He squeaked out, hoping not to slip anything about All Might up. “Anyways, he doesn’t m-matter” he said, gulping.

“So, maybe I can help you out by bringing you food since I’ll be training here for the next several months” He offered.

“But that doesn’t solve my shelter issue.” you replied. “Hey, how about I live with you?” you suggested, causing him to choke on his spit.

“W-WHAT?!”

“You look like my age so I guess you live with an adult. The old man?” you inquired.

“No, but, what?! How could I even do that?” He spluttered.

“You can sneak me in every night then I promise I’ll leave before sunrise to do whatever I can then I’ll come back by Midnight. Maybe I can also do that hero training thing you do.” you said. “Then I won’t have to do the cycle anymore!” you said.

“That just means I’ll have to kiss you or some other person every month” You sighed, causing him to have the same reaction as earlier.

“I don’t think I can do that. What if something goes wrong, And I can’t train with anyone” He said.

“Then I’ll train on my own. There are many places I’ve heard of, Like America! I can probably walk there and see what people praise it for so much” you gushed. “America’s another country…  I’m afraid you can’t go there” He deadpanned.

“Oh, I understand. Then another plus side is that You can teach me what I don’t know!” you stated.

“Which is…?”

“A lot” you sheepishly grinned. “So, please. I’m begging you” you bowed by slightly tilting your body.

He was unsure of what to say. He couldn’t just let some random stranger, let alone a girl who forced a kiss on him, sleep over in his house all the time. It was absurd. Even if she was telling the truth about her quirk, what if she was trying to deceive him? What if she was going to steal something then leave?

Several things had swirled in his mind making him contemplate about his choices, he glanced back at you, eyes meeting; however, when he met your eyes, he could feel something, something that was itching him and yelling that you were telling the truth. What kind of future hero would he be if he let someone helpless and alone on the beach.

“Alright. However, I think we’ll have to rethink our strategy soon” he smiled. You did so as well. “Great! I owe you a lot….” you trailed off, anticipating for him to introduce himself.

“Oh right, My name is Midoriya. Izuku Midoriya” he stated. You nodded, “Nice to meet you Midoriya, now let’s get that towel or yours and head hom- I mean, to your home!”

[bro78-sis83-blog]

Sis and I

This is how the first time I took advantage of my little sis Brie became a 30 year incestious affair. It all started we i was 10 and she was 6. Let me say that I did not go after her because of her age it was puberty and availability. I will explain how it all happened in story below. Please keep in mind this is based on our lives. I am sure I will enhance some because memory is memory. Brie and I still get together to pleasure each other on a regular bases. We are both married and have families of our own. We both love our spouses and children. Her husband has no idea that anything is happening now or in the past between the two of us. My wife is aware that Brie and I had something when we were younger but no clue that it still is happening. In saying that here is the story.

Like I said this happened when I was 10 and Brie was 6. It was New Year’s Eve 1988. I was in early puberty and recently started playing with myself. I was looking forward to this night because mom and dad were going to be at a party until late. My brother was spending the night out at a friends. Brie would be in bed early so I would have the main TV with cable all to myself. I had looked in the TV guide and found there was going to be an adult movie that started at 10:00 on showtime. I was super excited mom and dad left around 8:00. I was constiantly watching the clock for it to be nine o’clock the designated bedtime for Brie. Meaning I would have an hour for Brie to fall asleep before the movie started. When it was finally Brie’s bedtime. She whined and complained I finally convinced her by saying go lay down. By me saying I will check on you in an hour if you are still awake I will let you come back down.

After watching the slowest clock of my life up until then. I turned on showtime and went quietly up the stairs to check on Brie. I opened her door and sitting at her play table just starring at the door was Brie. She hopped up and said I am still awake you said I could come down and watch TV with you. I was in shock she was still up and didn’t react when she pushed by me. She was halfway down the stairs when I realized what was on the TV. I turned and sprinted by her. But it was to late by the time I got to the remote. Brie said you aren’t suppose to be watching this. Our parents having lecture our brother and me about adult movies when we got the movie channels. Brie was there and heard the lecture to. I shot back and said well your suppose to be in bed. So we both are in the wrong. I won’t tell if you don’t. When she didn’t respond I looked at her. She was sitting on the floor watching intently. I said do we have a deal you don’t tell I won’t tell. This snapped out of it. Looked at me and nodded.

I noticed her eyes looked down and I realized that I had a boner and my shorts were sticking out. I quickly sat down hiding it. Brie having two older brothers knew what it was and asked why do you have a boner. I said because of the movie makes me horny as a lady moans even louder at that point. This is were if I was a better person I would have changed the movie and changed the subject. I was not a better person. I was puberty driven kid who had a boner, porno playing, and a girl right in front of me. Brie was still looking at my crotch as the woman from the movie was getting louder. I said you are starring at my boner do you really want to see it. She nodded and I said you can not tell anyone I let you see it. She had got up on her knees and was shuffled over. I said you have to promise because I can get in a lot of trouble. Brie a nodded and I said say you promise she looked up and said I promise.

I was really horny and the sex scene had ended so. I stood up and pulled my shorts down letting my 10 year old cock free. I was very proud of my dick because my other buddy who was in puberty was only half aaa big as me. So standing there presenting my dick to my sister who kneeling right in front of me. I said if you promise not to tell you can touch it. She looked up and promised not to tell. Her tentative little hand reached out and with one finger touched the head. That brief touch sent electric shocks through me. I said since you already promised not to tell you can touch it more. She again tentatively reached out this time keeping her finger on it longer. I said go ahead feel it. A little more confident she reach up and wrapped her hand around it. I moaned not letting go she looked up at me. I said your hand feels amazing on my dick. If you want to make it feel even better you can stroke it. Brie looked up and said what do you mean. I reached down and guided her into stroking me. When I let go she continued and I couldn’t hold back. Having her be the first person besides a doctor or me to touch my dick. I moan and thrust my hips saying keep going I’m going to cum. She kept doing it and then I exploded. With all the build up I shot a huge load of what I later learned was just precum not really cum.

Well Brie was kneeling right in front of me. That is where I was aiming and the load hit her all over but mainly in the face. I actually saw a blast go into her mouth as she gasped from the shock of it. When I finished shooting cum all over my little sister guilt started in. I start apologizing and reminding her about the promises she made. I specially apologized and it going into her mouth. Brie quietly said its okay you didn’t mean to. I asked how did it taste. She scooped up more and put it into her mouth. This brought my dick back to full salute. Watching as she thought about it and she then said not bad. She then noticed I was hard again and reached back up. As she stroked me I said with your promise not to tell would you let me do other things. Brie’s eyes glued to her hand stroking my dick nodded yes. I said you need to let me go and let’s get you pj’s off so we don’t get more cum on them. She let go stood up and pulled off the nightgown and even though I didn’t say anything she pulled her panties off. As soon as Brie was naked she grabbed my dick again.

I asked you like playing with my dick. She nodded yes. I said would you want to suck it. Her eyes snapped up to mine looking a little scared. I said you don’t have to just asking. She looked relieved. I noticed the guy on the movie was rubbing is dick on a pussy. I said can we try that pointing. Brie watched for a few seconds then looked back at me and nodded. I had her lay on her back and spread her legs. As I got in position and while looking at my first real life pussy. I looked up and said can I taste you. You looked tentatively down at her pussy and back up at me. I said you got to taste me and added if you don’t like it tell me to stop. As Brie started nodding I buried my face in her little pussy. Licking all over and around it when all the sudden I hit a spot that caused her to jump. I looked up and said sorry asking if she wanted to stop. Quietly she said no so I went back to going to town enjoying her taste and aroma. I hit that spot again and she again jumped. I looked up and said do you like when I lick that spot. Brie whispered yes so I went back at it until I found the spot by her jump. I went to work with my tongue on that spot. After about another minute Brie was breathing heavily. Then she clamped her legs on my head as she twitched and then her little pussy got really wet. The aroma and taste had me diving back in to suck it all up. But Brie said stop.

I stopped immediately and she released her legs from around my head. I looked up and asked if she liked that. She nodded very energetically. So I said if we are alone and you keep you promise we can do this a lot more. I said can I still rub my dick on it. Still in a daze Brie said yes. I crawled up between her legs but realized it wouldn’t work. So I picked her up and put her on the coach. It was the right heighth. I slowly started rubbing my aching dick up and down Brie’s pussy. Between my saliva and her juices it was well lubed. I was also leaking precum making it even more slippery. When with a thrust on my part, a shift by Brie, and the mixture of all our juice acting as lube. The tip of my dick lined up perfectly with Brie’s pussy. I started cumming shooting my load directly into Brie. Brie jumped breaking the prefect alignment. Causing me to spray the next two blast to shoot all over her pussy. I was still working my duck trying to find the perfect line up because it felt amazing. Brie was shifting her hips to. The line up didn’t happen because I finished cumming.

We were both breathing hard. When we both claimed down. I asked her if that was okay. She nodded at me. I stood up and Brie whimpered. I said I am going to get a towel to clean up my mess. When I came back she was playing with the cum. I gentle wiped the cum off her little pussy. When I noticed a little glob coming from inside her. I said what did you like most about tonight. She thought while I continued to wipe up my cum leaking out of her pussy. She then said I like when you lick my and pointed at her pussy. I said I liked that too. She said I also liked when you rubbed your thing on me. I nodded that I like that to: I asked did it hurt when I shot my cum into you. She said no it felt good. I said can we do that again she nodded as she spread her legs. I looked up at the clock and saw it was around 11:30. I said why don’t we clean up down here turn everything off and go up stairs to play. After cleaning up I noticed that Brie was barely able to keep her eyes open. So I helped brie upstairs into her bed. As she was dozing off I reminded her about keeping our secret. She almost asleep said if we keep it secret we can play more. I agreed and she was out.

The next morning when I got up I was so nervous. I saw Brie’s door was open meaning she was already down stairs. I went down and saw mom and dad reading the paper while Brie was eating breakfast. When mom saw me she asked how the night went. I told her it went great. Mom said Brie told us you let her come back down to watch TV after not going to bed. I shrugged and said she went to her room for an hour to try and go to sleep. When she couldn’t I let her come down. Mom nodded and went back to reading paper. I went to get breakfast and Brie with a huge smile whispered I kept our big secret. I smiled and with a quick glance at mom and dad leaned down and quickly kissed her on the lips. She smiled and giggled as I went to get food.

This is how it all start for me. It took until summer until we got to play again. Because we were constantly busy. I will start working on that story.

[yogaposesfortwo]

Yoga Advice for Practicing When You're Not 29 Anymore

How to find the right yoga class, and stay happy and balanced on your mat at every age. In our new advice column, Wolf Terry, a Bhakti Yoga teacher and writer in Denver, Colorado, answers your pressing questions about practicing asana, meditation, mantra, and more. In this post, she covers senior yoga, how to stay active as you age, and how to injury-proof your practice, Dear Wolf, are there specialized precautions for people over 65? I don’t want to do chair or sedentary yoga. It seems to me that yoga classes are geared toward the younger crowd. I can pretty much keep up with the class, but I end up feeling quite sore (sometimes it’s painful). What should I avoid? What should I look for short of doing a senior class? I have asked a few teachers but they all say “do what your body can do.” Sincerely, Over 70 Dear Over 70, this practice is for everybody. No matter how old we are, some days we may benefit from sitting and breathing more than moving and sweating. When teachers tailor their classes to a specific “set,” they miss opportunities to strengthen their teaching skills and cheer on and empower a diverse group of students. Please go find a teacher who is excited to help you with your practice, preferably someone who is an alignment nerd. Ask how much they charge for a private class, or even just share with them what you’ve shared with me—chances are they’d love to walk you through anything you’re struggling with, free of charge. Keep up your practice. If you don’t have many options near you and you can’t find a teacher who fits your needs, do not let that deter you. Classes of all levels can be found online and at community gyms. When you’re in class, if you’re comfortable being touched, ask for adjustments—a good teacher will be able to cue others while safely providing hands-on assists tailored to your body. Otherwise, most seasoned teachers will happily cue the whole class to fit your needs without making you feel singled out. If none of that works for you, cultivate your home practice. There are so many incredible resources at your fingertips (apps, the internet, and this YJ issue, for instance!). Your soreness could be due to lactic acid buildup in your muscles or lack of synovial fluid in your joints. Both of these are huge contributors to achy muscles and tight fascia. For alleviation, keep moving. To counter lactic acid, stretch mindfully. Go see your doctor if pain continues or gets worse. Lastly, the only thing you should avoid doing is giving up on your practice. Yoga in a chair is not the only type of yoga available to people over 70. Stay determined, stay hopeful, and keep asking the hard questions. Dear Wolf, as a yoga practitioner of more than 15 years, I’ve noticed that as I get older and my body changes, my yoga also changes. I want to be one of those yogis who is still going strong at age 90! What sort of practice should I be doing now to try and achieve this goal? I also wanted to be one of those skiers who got a free ski pass when I turned 70 (yes, that used to be a thing in Colorado) but my knees don’t agree. What’s the best way to keep my practice changing with the passing years? Sincerely, Not Old but Not 29 Anymore Dear Not Old but Not 29 Anymore, When I was in high school, our dryland trainer for Alpine ski racing was a 70-year-old Olympic gold medalist named Richard Taylor. He was a Nordic racing skier, which is different from Alpine—speed relies on endurance instead of gravity. Mr. Taylor rollerskied around the whole town every morning before training as a warm-up. That was 15 years ago, and as far as I know, he hasn’t stopped. Here’s what I learned early on, just from watching his commitment to his practice: If you continue to show up, your practice will, too. It doesn’t matter how you do it, it just matters that you do. What I’m saying probably sounds like a cop-out, but trust me; your practice is going to change and morph into something different than you ever imagined—yoga does that. This is the practice that keeps all other practices going, after all. Breathe and move and keep living in the present—the past and the future are both irrelevant when it comes to yoga. Fifteen years is a long time, but you have a lot longer to go. Dear Wolf, I’m 16 and I’ve been trying to find a way to get into yoga. I am going through such a rocky time in my life, and I need something to help me stay grounded and flow all of this negative energy out of my body. Any advice is really appreciated. Signed, Rough Patch Dear Rough Patch, sixteen is a tricky age. You aren’t quite an adult, but you’re definitely not a kid either. You’re just testing the waters of everything life has to offer—relationships, responsibility, freedom. Sixteen was not an easy age for me. Coincidentally, it was the year that I started my relationship with yoga. I realized right away that I had intuitively been practicing it for a very long time without knowing it. I was breathing—that was it. Whenever I was moving through something particularly difficult I would take a deep, slow inhalation and count to four, then hold my breath for four counts, exhale to the count of four, and then pause for another four counts. I did this intuitively, so it was surprising to learn that this was actually a type of yogic breathwork (pranayama) called samavrtti (equal breath). Yoga is a system consisting of eight limbs, and pranayama is the fourth. Asana—the third limb—is the one with all of the poses and arm balances, and while it has so many incredible benefits, I have always found pranayama more accessible and useful during my own rough patches. A good way to start incorporating yoga into your daily life is to take five minutes to focus on your breath. (Both asana and pranayama are centered around the breath.) Breath is our life force. It allows us to release built-up tension, stale energy, and old patterns in order to bring in a clearer, more focused perspective. It reminds us that change is constant, that the ebb and flow of life is full of temporary moments. This rocky patch in your life is just that: temporary. Keep breathing. Things may not get easier immediately—or at all. I cannot promise you that yoga will solve all of your problems, but it’s there to meet you when and where you need it—and that, my friend, is something. Author: Wolf Terry Source: https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/yoga-advice-for-seniors Discover more info about Yoga Poses for Two People here: Yoga Poses for Two Read the full article