#but there always has to be an explanation for what I'm doing or thinking
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Lol I'm not against writing more installments but, like, be forewarned that if left on my own this would end in bittersweet tragedy. I can't write canon compliant Skystar any other way.
I mean I'd have Skyfire be suspiciously okay with Ratchets explanations and quietly let him continue treating him and take him back to Cybertron to meet the other autobots. He gets introduced, given a big habsuite, etc and the others try to catch him up on stuff.
But, like, Skyfire proves to be quiet, and incredible standoffish if polite. Requesting time before being "educated" and asking only to use their tech unrestricted so he can "catch back up" on things. Which they let him do. Skyfire is even nice enough to upgrade some systems for them.
Some of the bots, like Ratchet, are dissatisfied though. Like they suspect he's in shock but can't quite shake the feeling somethings off.
But they largely disregard it.
Skyfire has basically been in a coma, and he's a mild mannered scientist! He never even took part in the war! Sure he's big but what harm could he cause?
And then Skyfire uses his "upgrades" to temporarily ground all their vehicles but one and then hijacks said vehicle after stealing Starscreams last known locations and rendering their systems temporarily unable to to track them .
The autobots scramble to chase after them. Some thinking he's addle brained. Some thinking he was a sleeper agent. Others (accurately) thinking lovestruck idiot. But they don't manage to stop him from leaving and are left trailing with Skyfire having a major headstart.
Sky and Star DO reunite and Star is genuinely overjoyed to see him again and they get to be cute for awhile. Course then Skyfire brings up the utter slander that was being said about him and wanted to find Star to clear things up and Starscream (being Starscream) winds up pulling a similar stunt to the Orion Pax multiparter in Prime, only he's actually GOOD at telling half truths and softening up his role in the war playing up being a victim. All of which Sky believes unquestionly.
This is his shooting Star. His little bird. His sweet seeker. OF COURSE he's going to believe him over a bunch of war mongers.
Sadly Starscream being Starscream can't leave well enough alone and does wind up manipulating Sky into helping with some new grab for power under the guise of protecting themselves. He does still love Skyfire, or at least remembers loving him, and genuinely never wants to be separated from him again. Even if that does begin looking rather possessive.
Of course it all falls apart.
The autobots arrive, Starscream can't keep a lid on his ambition and corrupted pragmatism, and it's all revealed to Skyfire who us crushed by just how much Star has changed.
And even more by the fact that Starscream expects him to ignore it.
Skyfire is for ed to acknowledge that though he's remained the same, Starscream is a completely different person and he can't stand by his actions.
They separate tragically, and Skyfire goes back with the autobots, agreeing to use his skills to further revitalize Cybertron.
Meanwhile Starscream is still off in space. Clutching a vial of Skyfires inner energon he always kept with him and mourning what he's lost before smashing it to pieces and hardening his resolve.
Like I said.
Bittersweet endings.
tfp autobutts gain a new recruit...
#sorry if yall were ecpecting a ton of fluff from me#like if it was 100% au or something then maybe you could get a happy ending outta me e#but canon complicit? to PRIME?#or maybe a fanon continuit#nah i cant write that and stay true to the characters#its the only way i can write canon complicit skystar#skystar#transformers#maccadam#maccaddam#fic#fanfic
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95K┊Dark If —Harrison Gray—
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
— the 95k story for dark if (part 1), featuring harry. i think it is “required reading” to understand the world of this event, but they set it as the 95k bonus story, so i'm translating it. please note this does not necessarily have a happy end.
— cw: mentions of murder and death, angst.
Every story had an established plot, so to speak.
For example, in Cinderella, the prince fell in love at first sight with Cinderella, and they lived happily ever after.
Or if we took Snow White, the kiss from the prince would awaken her, and then they lived happily ever after.
‘It’s boring if everything goes as planned?’ That’s fine, since it’s the type of story most people want.
But, I wonder when this all went down...when did this fairytale world start to become so twisted?
And also, what had to have gone down for me to end up in this role of guiding the keyman to this world and through those twists?
Tonight, once again, the keyman who had wandered into this fairytale world tried to run away, returning to reality.
In other words, they were not the keyman, but rather they just happened to get caught up in all of this.
Victor: It seems this time as well, they were unable to find the missing thing.
Harrison the Lying Fox: They’ll just think of it all as a bad dream and forget about it anyway.
H: Besides...
Victor: ‘It’s best to quickly forget about this world and live in reality’?
This mysterious man named Victor, who wandered this world, had a shrewd look as he smiled, and as usual, such a look irritated me.
Just when I thought of throwing even a single insult his way, I heard the sound of footsteps.
(Ahh, here we go again...)
(Someone was ‘summoned’ by this world.)
Victor: Oh, where are you headed off to? There’s a guest here.
Harrison the Lying Fox: I’ll look from afar. There’s not much point in talking face to face anyway.
Victor: I see. Then do as you like.
——And then, the footsteps gradually grew louder, until they stopped.
Victor: Welcome to the twisted fairytale world...
V: A guest has come~~ Yippeee~~!
There stood a figure, petrified from what looked like anxiety.
Kate: Um, where... I... just now I was at the bookstore, and...
(Oh jeez... she’s so frightened.)
Kate: Uhm, I’m in the middle of my letter carrier duties. So I would like to return to Kingsley Books...
Victor: Now that may be a bit difficult.
Kate: Huh?
Victor’s explanation, something he had repeated thousands of times over, flowed smoothly.
How he selfishly wanted her to find the ‘missing thing’ in the fairytale world.
And then, the one named Kate was sent to the twisted fairytale world in order to find that very thing.
Victor: Harrison. Are you going to take a peek into the story?
Harrison the Lying Fox: You can stop with the act. I know you know as well that I’ve got no choice but to.
The lying fox was always a despised presence within a fairy tale.
And that was the role I bore. It was my fate to spend my life serving this world so that it could return to normal.
(I can freely traverse through any fairytale world.)
(But if I were to flip a coin on it, it would mean I would never be able to become a character in any fairy tale.)
Despite the fact I was bearing this troublesome fate, I myself couldn’t correct any of these stories... it was ironic.
Victor: Well then, have a good time. May you find the best happy end this time.
—— Traversing... ——
Kate: I’m... Cinderella?
Having been sent to the world of Cinderella, Kate wasted little time in starting her search for the missing thing.
She was trying so hard I couldn’t help but feel fed up.
But——
Stepmother: It’s because of children like you that my own girls don’t get chosen by the prince!
Kate: P-please stop...
Stepmother: You...someone like you...!
So that one of her own children would become the prince’s fiancée, the stepmother schemed and killed Kate.
Once again, this fairy tale reached a bad end.
And then, Kate was taken back to reality from the fairytale world.
—— In reality ——
Kate: Huh? I... what was I doing again?
K: ...I feel as though I was sleeping for a long time...
I had come to realize in the long time I had been observing that if a keyman were to die in the fairytale world and reach a bad end,
they would be forcefully returned to reality like this.
And——all of what happened in that world would be wiped clean from their memories.
But, in most cases, their bodies would still remember, and they would leave, as though to run away.
It was like they were saying they didn’t want to see a bad dream again.
(Alright now, you get out of here quickly too.)
(Go back to that peaceful everyday life filled with normalcy.)
Kate: ………
After standing up with a bit of a wobble, Kate once again reached for the fallen book.
(………Huh? What in the world are you doing?)
And then, as if trying her best to remember something precious, she furrowed her brows,
and then, once again, Kate was sucked into the book like she was being summoned by it.
Harrison the Lying Fox: Wh——you idiot.
And so, Kate — once again — found herself repeating the same exchange with Victor,
landing in the world of Alice in Wonderland.
In this world, the bell signifying the Queen of Heart’s judgment resonated.
Kate: I’m looking for the missing thing in this world.
K: That is, the thing that’s lacking in the world. If that is——a peaceful life...
Liam the Cheshire Cat: Then you wouldn’t want to approach the Queen of Hearts. Well, all is up to you, Alice.
And so, Kate once again tried so hard to find the missing thing, it was laughable.
(Why do you feel the need to go so far?)
(...Ah, jeez, if you get hurt again that’s all on you.)
This time, in this story as well, Kate was unable to find the missing thing.
And, never learning from what had happened, she would continue to choose this cycle.
Over, and over again, she would roam within these twisted fairy tales.
At one time, she was Snow White.
But, she was killed by a foreign prince named Natalia, who was aiming to conquer the country that Queen Elbert ruled, covering for him.
And at another time, she was Sleeping Beauty.
She was cursed by a fairy to ‘prick her finger on a spinning wheel ten years later, triggering the curse,’
but before that time, she had passed away from an illness.
Such events would repeat themselves, over and over again.
And, over and over again, I would watch over Kate.
Today as well, Kate was in a twisted fairytale world, continuing her search.
At this point, I couldn’t bring myself to care about what fairy tale she was in.
It was just watching over her was my job.
Today, it had been raining in this forest nonstop since the morning, and Kate’s shoulders grew more soaked.
When I saw her body trembling in the cold, I couldn’t bear it...
——And, for the first time, I approached Kate.
Without an utterance, I held an umbrella above her.
Kate: ...?
Harrison the Lying Fox: The rain won’t stop for a while. Wanna come in?
Kate: T-thank you?
Harrison the Lying Fox: Haha, why phrase it like a question?
Kate: Um... can I ask who you are?
(My name...)
Harrison the Lying Fox: That kind of thing doesn’t really matter, does it. Since we’re going to be parting ways when the rain stops anyway.
Kate: Is that so. Yes... I suppose so...
Kate looked a bit lonely, before thanking me again.
Under a single umbrella, I looked up at the sky, the rain falling non-stop.
(I hate the rain.)
(...But, just for today, I wouldn’t mind if it never stopped.)
(Because, then I can be together with you... for just a little longer.)
The ‘thanks’ from Kate made a strange warmth seep into my heart.
And then, once again, Kate was killed in the fairy tale.
While I’d seen her die countless times, for some reason, this time made me feel a pang in my heart for the first time.
—— Time skip ——
Victor: Oh my, Harrison. It’s not every day I see you here.
Harrison the Lying Fox: Could you stop this already?
Victor: ...I take it this is about Kate?
Harrison the Lying Fox: .........
Victor: That, I can’t do.
Harrison the Lying Fox: And why’s that?
Victor: Because, for some reason, Kate herself ends up choosing to come back here over and over. This is a first for me as well.
V: And I find myself thinking, about Kate...
Harrison the Lying Fox: What about her? Hurry and say it already.
Victor: Perhaps she may be the true keyman?
V: Harrison? Where are you headed?
Harrison the Lying Fox: ...To Kate.
Victor: I see... do be careful.
Kate was in the world of Cinderella, like she was the first time.
Tonight, Kate was participating in the ball, and she must introduce herself to the prince.
She had a fairy godmother alter her appearance, and I thought she looked more beautiful than any of the other participants here.
That was no lie, either, since the eyes of any who passed by would be taken by her.
But, Kate, the gentle soul she was, could not bring herself to approach the prince directly.
(Ahh... if she doesn’t speak up, he’ll get stolen by other women.)
(Jeez, always making more work for me.)
I quietly approached, and I dropped an empty glass from a table right adjacent to Kate,
causing a shattering sound to resonate through the dance hall, and everyone in the venue turned their attention on Kate.
Kate: Ah, wh—? Me? I-I’m so sorry...
(Look over there, the prince has finally noticed you.)
Prince: Um, are you hurt anywhere?
When I confirmed the prince had reached out to Kate, I left the venue.
After all, a lying fox was hardly suited for such a place.
I descended the long staircase myself.
(I don’t think that would be enough to change the course of the story.)
(Kate, go and find the missing thing. This time, for sure.)
When I wished for this, a bitter feeling bloomed in my chest, as though I had bitten on sand.
(I see, if Kate were to find a happy ending, I would no longer be needed.)
Before I knew it, I had watched over Kate for quite a while.
At some point, Kate had already become a part of my everyday.
(——What am I saying, with something so out of character like how a farewell would be lonely.)
Trying to shake off these conflicting emotions, I continued to walk, when...
Kate: Uhm...
(...Kate?)
When I turned around, I saw Kate running down, holding the hem of her dress up as she did.
(...What happened with the prince?)
(Why’s she chasing after me?)
Many words welled up in my throat, but I pushed them all down.
After all, in Kate’s memory, I was not there.
Harrison the Lying Fox: Did you need something?
Kate: Ah, um...
Harrison the Lying Fox: ...?
Kate: Have... we met somewhere before, by any chance...?
Harrison the Lying Fox: ......... (O_O)
Kate’s eyes pierced through me, like she was begging for the truth.
We stared at each other for several seconds, which felt more like an eternity.
But, the one who broke it first was me.
Harrison the Lying Fox: Who knows. It’s probably just you.
(It’s alright. I’m good at telling lies.)
Kate: I...see. Sorry about that, for saying something so strange. Please forget it.
Kate put up a forced smile before she returned from where she came.
And I, much like a fool, couldn’t take my eyes off of her back.
(Hey, Kate. Having watched over you all this time, I’ve come to realize something.)
The ‘missing thing’ that Kate had always been searching for in these fairytale worlds...
(That is——the protagonist.)
(Kate. You yourself are the missing thing in its truest form.)
Had Kate followed her own heart, choosing a path to become happy,
I was sure the twisted fairy tale would reach its end.
But, when I tried to tell Kate,
Harrison the Lying Fox: Gugh, hah... gh...
Something seemed to stop words from forming in my voice.
And, as though mocking at this eternal, twisted fate from afar, the clock struck twelve.
Harrison the Lying Fox: .........
(I can’t become your prince, nor can I become your lover.)
(And, someday, you may end up finding your happy end.)
(But... for now... even if it’s just this moment——)
Harrison the Lying Fox: Hey, you there. ...Heading that way could spell out danger, you know?
Kate: And you are?
Harrison the Lying Fox: Who knows. More importantly, where are you planning to go?
(...Let me watch over you, while holding the key of this secret in my hand.)
That night, as strange as it was, I had a dream.
In my fairy tale, one that remained without a name to call it, Kate suddenly appeared and said——
Kate: Harrison!
Harrison the Lying Fox: How do you know my name?
Kate: Of course I know. Because I’ve always been searching for you.
Harrison the Lying Fox: ......... (O_O)
Kate: ...Harrison, I like you. Would you become my happy end?
(Ahh... I see now.)
(So this is the most convenient dream for me.)
A bitter, yet unbearably sweet feeling blossomed in my heart.
(If this isn’t a reality, then I won’t have to lie anymore, right?)
I touched Kate’s wrist, and then brought her in an embrace.
(That’s right, I had always... wanted to hug you like this.)
Harrison the Lying Fox: Me too.
H: I’ve always wanted to reach the best end with you, too.
(Kate, I no longer want to see you crying.)
(I think you’re much better suited with a carefree smile.)
Harrison the Lying Fox: Kate. I like you.
I wished that time could stop, just a little bit longer,
for while this momentary dream was fleeting, I had never had seen a better one before.
Fin.
masterlist 🗝️ ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍
#please be happy#😭💔#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil harrison#ikevil harry#ikevil harrison gray#harrison gray#ikemen villains harrison#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome#ikevil translation#ikevil translations#d: cafekitsune
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mha final volume spoilers
For the past few months I've kinda just come to accept MHA's ending to be whatever. Not the best, but not the worst I've seen it's fine whatever. But seeing the final volume extra content honestly just has me genuinely hating the ending. I'm trying to keep an open mind cuz it's not officially out yet and leaks can be kinda dubious, but I'm genuinely so upset.
Ig the main feeling I have is: genuinely what's the point??? I mean there's a lot of things going on in mha and depending on what you care about ig you could feel like everything's fine and resolved, but personally? Just no. My main problem a few months ago was with Toga's death, but now I'm just even more pissed.
As so many people have probably already discussed: killing the villains off after all this stuff about saving them is a fucking problem right?? With Toga's case specifically (cuz she's my fave and I care the most about her), it's her just dying after she finally found the love and acceptance she's always wanted from Ochako. Like why? Even if you can technically make sense of it with her explanation of "I want to live life as I please", it's just stupid and distasteful. It would be one thing if she said that cuz she was just running away to be free, but to kill her? Of bloodloss of all things? Idc abt people going oh thats sooo poetic, no i think it's stupid. So many other characters have lived after going through worse like for fuck's sake, Edgeshot's still around.
What's the point of that emotional resolution if you don't show the aftermath, of her being able to live happily, or at least how she'll go on with life from then on? She didn't have to die, she could've just escaped or whatever (I was hoping that was the case when there was no mention of Toga's body). But by killing her, the only message I got from mha's whole saving the villains thing is: "sooo maybe having empathy for the deviances of society is important actually, but it's kinda inconvenient to deal with them." And even if that wasn't Hori's exact intention, that's what his story seems to be saying by killing off the villains.
And then the fucking nail in the coffin is the fact that Hori used Toga's death to drive Izuocha. It was one thing when he did it with the cliff talk when Ochako was mourning Toga (I always found it distasteful okay), but it's so much worse to write Toga literally pushing Ochako to Deku. So not only did Hori kill off the queer character who finally had her resolution and romance so he won't have to deal with her, but he's really following through with the Bury the Gays trope by using her o push the girl she loves to a man? Ew.
The worst part is that even if Izuocha got together and they're canon or whatever cuz of that last part, the way Hori did it is so fucking mid. Like seriously, if you were gonna do my girl dirty like that for that het romance, at least make it good?? But noooo. I mean they don't have to be like kissing and getting married and having babies or whatever (that'd just be shit), but at least have them properly get together. What is that "implied romance" ass handshake?? There's no fucking reason to make it implied, they're not queer or forbidden or complicated or anything. Bro just didn't wanna commit to actually fleshing out their romance. And you used Toga and her death for that, for absolutely fucking nothing?? The funniest part is that everything Togachako did is infinitely more romantic than that handshake, so how am I supposed to be convinced by this "implied romance"? (anyone who says implications enough for izuocha I'd say the bar's just on the floor for you cuz they're het)
And then there's Bakugo. I mean I was fine and whatever with the original epilogue, but what the fuck? So you're telling me bro lead Project Deku Hero Suit or whatever for 8 years, only for Deku to reject him when asked to be a part of his agency? It may or may not have been explicitly stated that they'd be in a hero agency together whatever, but I feel like it was a natural conclusion that they'd end up working together/closely as a hero duo? Win to save and save to win, wonder duo defeating ShigAFO together, that hospital talk about competing together for the rest of their lives, him being the one to reach out to Deku at the epilogue chapter, hello? DEKU REJECTED THAT AND FOR WHAT. Also ok fine this may sound stupid to be upset over, but why the fuck is Bakugo rank 15. Like we do just be writing whatever I guess
I'm still holding on to some hope that the leaks were ass and inaccurate. Or maybe even completely fake cuz the chapter's been getting a lot of AI art allegations? Though it's also probable that's just the leaker who used AI to get high res pictures of the leaks. IDK MAN JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE PLEASE LET ME STAND CORRECTED
#even if togachakos the actual doomed yuri here it feels like bkdk got hit with unrequited love or smth idk#i was so annoyed abt toga and now im just straight up pissed at hori#bakugo and toga are my faves obviously so thats what i mainly talked about here#but with toga shes a character thats so fucking special to me#her entire story and how its so thematically queer#even if im not into mha much these days she has a really special place in my heart ok#she helped me come to terms with my queerness and shes just so well written hori actually cooked so well#UNTIL HE ACTUALLY HAD TO DEAL WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF HAVING HER BE GAY WITH OCHAKO SO OH SHIT LETS KILL HER#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha final volume spoilers#toga himiko#togachako#bakugo katsuki#bkdk#not tagging the other ship idc#also dont fight me on this or blahblah on how im losing certain nuances idc i am no longer hyperfixated on mha i do not care to reread shit
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Hey Snail, I was curious. Who's your favorite OP character? I always assumed it was Law and I'm not exactly sure why?? Hope you're feeling ok today! :)
I'm not stressed about this question at all. Nuh uh. Who me? No way. There are so many ways I can answer this and I'm just screaming.
The short answer:
Rosinante Corazon / Heat are tied for an equal first. (There are more, but these two stuck out this morning)
The long, lord of the rings extended edition unstoppable marathon answer:
I love the complexities of Law as a character, which is primarily why I made my original character a Heart Pirate. He's just a little shit, and watching Dressrosa, and even in Sabaody when I first met him as a character, he just seems like the right amount of serious mixed with fun that I love. Law is a Wednesday Adams to Tobiuo's Pugsley or Enid - just friends that would die for one another. He needed her, I think. Their friendship is weapon (Tobiuo) x wielder (Law) and she is more loyal to him than he probably knows. This is likely why you assumed he was my favourite, which he is up there and I love writing for him. The heart pirates too. I should write for Jean Bart one day - love that man.
Then there are the Kid Pirates. I love these guys. A crew of over thirty, surviving in a lawless upbringing, their undying loyalty to their feral captain, the really cool devil fruit power - and there's Heat. There is no explanation for his powers other than he has them. It's not a devil fruit, it's just something he can do. Sullen and sunken features, scarred lips, the fact he is a little kinder than the majority of them - and that he was a rival gang leader who chose to serve Kid to help him raise retribution for his beloved Victoria. I love the rapport, the ship design, the silliness between them and the other two Supanovas - they just make me really happy.
And then there's the tall, undercover marine, spy, double agent, silent, lanky, painted, clown-man in a burgundy hat. Between Rosinante and Doflamingo, it's hard to choose who I love more. I adore Doflamingo as an enemy. His rich past and complex history makes me all heart-clenched because I see so much pain in such a small person. Everything was ripped away from him, so he clawed tooth and nail to get back what he believed was rightfully taken.
But Rosinante had the same past. He could've gone with Doflamingo back then, but he didn't. He could've chosen a life of cruelty to get back on the people who wronged him, but he didn't. He could've chosen to live out a simple life as a civilian fisherman if he wanted, but he didn't. He became a marine, hellbent on ensuring his brother didn't get too out of hand and to take down criminal empires from the inside. And Law changed so much for him. In Doflamingo, he saw death. In a poor, sickly child on the same path as his brother - he saw a second chance to refute the repetition of history. I love him as a character, and he is just gorgeous.
Hoboy, wasn't that a long answer.
I could've gone longer and longer, but I decided to stop myself. These are all just my opinions and personal analysis of the characters. I love them all - but these are ethe two that roll in my head like two stones in the bottom of a sock.
I love this question, thank you so much, Merry. I adore you 🖤🖤🖤. And I am doing wonderfully - just chipping away rather slowly at fics lately due to the season of gift giving being upon us. That, and the chicks are yet to hatch and I'm getting all giddy at baby chickens at Christmas.
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I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you meant about EoW? What does it change if the Golden Goddesses die first and only create Hyrule after being reincarnated? Sorry if it's obvious haha, maybe I'm missing something ^^
I have no problem with the Three creating the entire world, that's what I understand from the "creation myth" told by the Deku Tree in OoT. The thing I have some issues with is that EoW implies that rifts have always opened throughout Hyrule even though that's never been mentioned before. But I understand that Nintendo wants to create new villains/lore and it also doesn't contradict everything that was established before, so I can live with it (and I'm really pleased that the Triforce and all are back). I guess we just need to imagine that it all happened off-screen and that the Tris always managed to close the rifts on their own before EoW. Another thing is that I thought Demise already represented primordial chaos, but maybe I was only mislead by his French name (Avatar du Néant = Avatar of the Void).
(Btw did you see that Nintendo added EoW to the official timeline a few days ago? It's no big surprise that it's on the DT between Triforce Heroes and LoZ, but it's still great to see it confirmed!)
Yes I've thought of having the dragons from SS die at some point and get replaced by the new ones from BotW (because as you said the thunder dragon demonstrated that they can die). That's one possibility I have in mind and it's probably the easiest way to do this, but I'd still prefer for them to be the same dragons from SS. I still need to think about it (as well as many other things) ^^
Since I'm not a fan of the Zonai I won't advocate for the dragons to keep the third eye haha! But it could have looked cool. I'm not sure they already had the Zonai in mind when they designed the dragons though, that's probably the explanation for the third eye's disappearance. Yes the thicker part at the end of their bodies and the big spike look a bit weird! That leonin tail would have looked good, especially on the Light Dragon since she also has a golden mane. I'm glad they didn't keep the giant horns though, they were a bit much.
I actually like the singing in SS (and Link's reactions), especially when they all gather to perform the Song of the Hero! It's mostly Faron's voice during dialogues that doesn't sit right with me. And the faces definitely look uncanny!
It's fine if you don't like this theory about the dragons! I'm not 100 % sold myself, just trying to make things work because I think having two separate sets of dragons with names inspired by the Goddesses is a bit confusing (especially if we add the Light Spirits on top of that). Water and ice are kind of the same element to me, but maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see 😆
Oh these dragon redesigns are so cool!! Let me just add a link to the original post to credit the artist (charcoaldustonmyfingers) in case anyone is still reading this.
Yes the dragons looked more unique in SS but they were actual characters so it makes sense that they would be more detailed. The names sound cool but maybe they would require an explanation as to why the Goddesses' names were mixed ^^
Oh you're right about the symbols on their foreheads in SS, I completely forgot about that. Guess I can't really act like it's not there haha! But I'll never be able to associate Farore with water and Nayru with thunder, it's really frustrating.
Yes Rauru could have mentioned that to Link, or maybe to Zelda when he explains he's the first king. And you're right they should have included something about Sonia and Rauru's descendance and the disparition of the Zonai, otherwise it just looks like a gigantic plot hole.
I know about Rhoam's diary of course ^^ It's just that I was never fully convinced by the idea that Zelda simply lacked a teacher so I tend to forget that the game provided this explanation (and I'm so used to my own headcanons that sometimes I forget they're just that). Mipha tried to help Zelda by explaining how her own magic worked, and (even though it's the cheesiest thing ever) it's rather obvious that she meant to say she accessed her healing powers by thinking about someone she loved, aka Link. Since Zelda's power awakes when she's trying to save Link, it seems Mipha was right. If so, Zelda's mother wasn't the only one who could have taught her, and maybe Rhoam should have sought the help of other magic wielders to train his daughter (kind of weird that he didn't). I really don't like the idea that Zelda's power works the same way as healing magic and that all she needed was love, but that's what the game implies (unless I'm completely wrong).
Also we don't know whether the queen and her ancestors actually possessed the same sealing power as Zelda. Being able to hear the voices of spirits is nowhere near being able to seal Ganon, but maybe the real sealing power only manifests when the Calamity appears (who knows). The thing is, that would make every woman born in the royal family a potential "Zelda". And I know it's not clear whether all Zeldas are the same person like Link is or if they only share the blood of the Goddess, but I like to think she gets reincarnated the same way Link does so that they can reunite (OoT Zelda mentions that Link is familiar to her). It just sounds weird that Hylia would make sure her Hero gets reborn over and over again but not her (and it might just be that everyone in Hyrule gets reincarnated anyway, just look at characters like Impa, Dampé or Beedle). And if all of Hyrule's princesses potentially inherit Hylia's power and just need a teacher, it sounds a lot less special. What about this "legend of Zelda", you know?
(It's also kind of dumb that no queen ever thought something like this could happen and took the time to write some sort of user manual, especially when it seems pretty common for queens to die quite young in Hyrule. I mean we've seen plenty of kings but never Zelda's mother)
Let's also remember that no other Zelda before had this sealing power, except maybe for Sky Zelda/Sun. So now if other random queens and princesses can inherit it, that would make them more powerful than all the Zeldas we know. That's another reason why I believe the Wild Era doesn't fit at the end of any of the three timelines, unless the Goddesses also changed the rules for Zelda's power when/if they merged the timelines.
My headcanon is that Zelda is the only one who can wield Hylia's power, so her mother being alive might not have made a difference. I like to believe that any Zelda needs to do the whole Skyward Sword pilgrimage with the Goddess Harp in hand in order to awake her divine nature, but of course this knowledge would get lost to time and no princess ever does it (though BotW Zelda was only missing the harp and specific rituals). In the end Zelda's desire to save Link and the bond between them as Hero and Princess would be enough of a trigger for her to bypass the rituals and access her power anyway (but not Hylia's memory as she does in SS). That's how I try to make what happens in BotW work with previous lore, but that's only my take.
Anyway I also like to believe the Queen was assassinated by the Yiga clan! I've seen this theory quite often in fanfic and it's pretty credible. I also like the idea that the "blood of the Goddess" part of Demise's curse would apply to the entire Hylian population.
I'm doing my best to find TotK's lore and story interesting, but it just doesn't do it for me. I listened to QuestWithAaron's videos (I actually think I already did so last year) and though the references to Japanese culture are evident and interesting, I just don't think it's enough to make a good story. Maybe I'm a bit too harsh, I don't know, or it's just not for me. I think Ganondorf is most interesting when he is his own character with his own motive (like Wind Waker Ganondorf), I don't want him to be nothing more than the incarnation of Demise's hatred once he gets his Secret Stone. I like the idea of Calamity Ganon being his lingering resentment or something like that, but when it comes to Ganondorf the man I expect something more. I would have loved a deeper exploration of his character with some nuance and maybe bits of his past. It had been 17 years since TP, we missed him! Now I'm not even sure we'll ever see him again and all we got was "I want to conquer" and then "I want to destroy", just because he's evil. And his little speeches about peace-loving cowards and how the world should be shrouded in darkness really didn't impress me. Sorry if this sounds harsh, I'm just so disappointed.
I agree about some of the tech, I actually really like the wings and the flame/laser throwers. I found the Mesoamerican influence interesting for the Zonai, but I think it doesn't fit the Hylians ^^
I would have disliked the Zonai a lot less if everything wasn't about them, sure. I think I would have been really happy with them being a new race populating the Depths for example, and that's kind of what I'm doing in my rewrite where I think they'll just be evolved Mogma. TotK would be a very different game without the Zonai/Rauru playing a major role though.
The thing with the "Zonai" from BotW is that this all gets very confusing. According to BotW/Creating a Champion they were a civilization mainly based in Faron Woods that worshiped a water dragon (which either means Naydra, Faron from SS or simply the river Dracos). Their statues also heavily imply that they worshiped the three aspects of the Triforce, represented by an owl (wisdom), a boar (power) and a dragon (courage). To me that sounds more like the ancestors of the Hylian themselves. And interestingly Faron in SS is associated with both water and courage (even though I don't like it haha), so the "water dragon" might really be a reference to SS. Many fans also assumed that the barbarian armor set was linked to the Zonai because its description mentioned "a warlike tribe from Faron".
Then according to TotK, the Zonai are from the sky (though they also mined the Depths), they are not a barbarian tribe but a technologically advanced race close to the gods, and one of them even was the first king of Hyrule. Also they are not shown to live in Faron Woods, and their clothing/armor looks nothing like the barbarian set. So either the Zonai had a weird barbarian phase at some point (I wouldn't expect that from sky beings but alright), either people at Nintendo simply changed their mind and retconned the Zonai from BotW.
I also don't really like the idea of Hylian-Zonai hybrids, I don't want to imagine how that works 😆 (sorry). But even if the Zonai from BotW were hybrids, the barbarian/savage/warlike part doesn't really make sense. I also can't imagine the Hero being anything but a Hylian and anyone but Link (same for Zelda), and at least if Nintendo was going to drop this Ancient Hero thing I think we were owed some sort of explanation ^^
Oh yes the gotcha machines and disposable technology were terrible, 100 % agree!
Your explanation about the Triforce vs. the Secret Stone wasn't confusing, I understand what you meant! Though I think the nature of Demon King Ganondorf is similar to that of Demise in TotK, so I still find it hard to believe that a Secret Stone would allow him to do something Demise could not (aka easily break the Master Sword). But maybe there's also a possibility that the Sword lost some of its power along the way, who knows. I also think Ganondorf has been able to corrupt the Triforce of Power before, to me that's what happens when he transforms into Ganon (he gets so drunk on power and resentment that he turns into a mindless beast that looks a lot like Calamity Ganon, and that's why Link needs the Master Sword). But I don't know, that's definitely interesting to think about!
I love Minish Cap too, it was one of my first Zelda games as well! In fact I was just replaying it last month. BotW's map definitely references locations from MC, but there are also places like Koholit Rock or Brynna Plain so it might just be more easter eggs. I'll try to see how it can work with my version of Hyrule ^^ Though my main problem with MC is more it's story. I can see perfectly how OoT follows SS, but when I try to fit MC between the two things start getting a bit clunky.
You know I don't get to discuss Zelda lore and timeline stuff in depth IRL, so this is really entertaining for me. I don't mind when you go on tangents, quite the contrary! I just hope this isn't too much scrolling 😆
Hi, sorry if this is a bit rude. 😅 I guess that I was just wondering. How would Jabul Waters, Zora Cove, & Crossflows Plaza be named in French?
I'm trying to give Jabul Waters an interesting name that works to go with my hc & I came up with "Jabuleaux." And Google Translate tells me that Crossflows Plaza would be Place des Flux Croisés. And, I'm seeing that Anse is the term to refer to a cove &, if that's true, then would Zora Cove be Zoranse? At the same time, somewhere else, it said that Anse actually means beach.
And, I believe that a town by a swamp would have cher, quier, bren, brin, or Hor- in it?
I'm sorry if this is weird... 😅
Hi! Don't worry it's not rude or weird at all! I offered to help and I'm happy to do so :D
Did you check the official French translations? I had a surprisingly hard time finding the French version of the map online so here's a screenshot I took myself:
Jabul Waters = Eaux de Jabule (this one only appears when I zoom out)
Zora Cove = Baie Zora
Crossflows Plaza = Place de l'Estuaire
In case you didn't know the Zelda Wiki often lists names for places or characters in various languages in the "Nomenclature" section of its pages. It's very helpful especially if you're searching for the original Japanese names. If we look at at the different names for Crossflows Plaza we can see that a literal translation from Japanese would be something like "Exchanging Place". I checked the Jisho dictionary and it seems to be an accurate translation, though "Place for Cultural Exchanges" would be more meaningful.
It's not exactly a good name in English so it makes sense that the localization team would come up with something like Crossflows Plaza instead, which in my opinion does a very good job of stating that this is both the place where the river meets the sea and where the two Zora tribes traditionally meet each other.
Other European languages all settled for variations of "Estuary Plaza" ("Place de l'Estuaire" in French), which is fine but looses the "cultural exchanges" aspect of both the original name and the English translation.
I've been trying to come up with a French translation of "Crossflows Plaza" but it's not that easy. To me "Place des Flots Croisés" or "Place Flots-Croisés" would sound better than "Place des Flux Croisés", but I still find it a bit weird ("flot" meaning flow, tide or stream). "La Croisée des Flots" is another option if you agree to get rid of Plaza/Place (it means "the intersection/junction of streams"), but I don't think it works very well as a name.
You could also mix words to create a name the same way it was done in English, something like "Place Croiseaux" (croiser/cross + eau/waters). If any of my French speaking followers is feeling inspired, please share your ideas! :)
(I just thought of "Place Cruciflot" and found it too funny not to mention 😆 maybe it sounds too much like crucifix)
In French we also have the word "confluence" that has the exact same meaning as it does in English: either the meeting of two rivers or a gathering of some kind. So to me the most obvious translation would be something like "Place des Confluences" or maybe "Place Confluence", as it would preserve the dual meaning, but it's not very fancy or creative. Maybe we could simply change the spelling to something like Place Konfluans, the same way "Village Côtier" (Seaside Village) is spelled "Village Kothié" (Seesyde Village). But it doesn't look like a French word anymore so I'm not sure that's something you'd like.
As for Jabuleaux, it can work but I prefer the official translation "Eaux de Jabule". Same thing for Zoranse, we would say "Anse Zora" or "Anse des Zora". The official French translation is "Baie Zora" (Zora Bay), which I think is more appropriate given the size of the sea inlet (in my understanding an anse/cove is a small baie/bay and isn't very deep). I think maybe it should have been bay in English as well instead of cove, but I might be wrong! Also I believe "anse" isn't used as often as "baie" and might be confusing for most people, so I would go with "Baie Zora".
I'm not sure where you found this information about swamps and town names? I didn't find anything to confirm it but I might not have looked in the right places.
French towns are often ancient and their names can derive from other languages such as Celtic, Occitan, Flemish, or regional dialects, so that's a very difficult question and I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer ^^
I still did a little search and found an Old French word for swamp, "palud" or "palu", that still appears in some town names such as La Palud-sur-Verdon, Saint-Pierre-la-Palud, Lapalud, etc. (today we say "marais" or "marécage"). You might be right about "bren", it could be something like muddy in Gallic.
There's also "vign" or "mign" (from Celtic), as in Mignéville or Lévignac, or l'Île de Migneaux on the Seine river (this one's in my city!).
Near where I grew up is a town named Hazebrouck, it literally means "hare swamp" (brouck/broek = swamp in Flemish). For a bit more French flavor you could maybe use -broucq or -breucq instead of -brouck.
I think the vast majority of French people have no clue about all of that (I didn't except for the last one and it's more Flemish than French), so I'd say don't oversweat it ;)
And that's all! I hope you'll find this helpful ^^
#aikoiya#loz#zelda#zelda lore#zelda theory#isn't it funny that this whole discussion started from Jabul Waters and Goponga#we are unstoppable#i take some time to answer because writing all of that in English in an intelligible way can be a bit challenging#hope this isn’t too painful too read
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maybe this is a hot take but if you truly believe there is no such thing as thought crimes, that has to include the terrible and incorrect things people think about you.
#I am as much telling this to myself#other people are allowed to be hurt by my behavior even if I did nothing wrong#and if I did nothing wrong then there is no responsibility on me to resolve the way they feel#the way I'm mentally ill is that I come up with logical justifications for negative thought patterns#not to think them but for why they're nonsense#I am at any moment ready to explain my behavior and it makes me less anxious to have a plan#and like. I don't need it. People won't demand to see my work for little stuff or even most bigger stuff#but there always has to be an explanation for what I'm doing or thinking#so i can sometimes trick myself into healthier thought patterns and behaviors by logicking out why the better way makes more sense#the point is someone's upset feelings are not a crime I did to them
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i do think the most interesting interpretation of btvs lore is that non-vampire demons and mystical entities ALL have souls, unless they sold, destroyed or otherwise got rid of them (like the mayor)
#because first of all: it gives a potential explanation for why there is a VAMPIRE slayer who specializes in vamps and not just a ''slayer''#like why vampires are singled out in particular. if its because they are in some inherent way crueler more evil less human less worthy#than at least the average demon altho not the most terrible demons. and that kind of checks!! plenty of demons seem to be fairly chill#amoral maybe and have weird diets but not necessarily Big Bads. whereas all vampires by definition drain humans of blood for fun and profit#second: it explains a lot about anya in particular - i'm thinking of two things in s7 when she's a-venging again#1. when she sees spike's soul in his eyes and is Shocked. not the face of a woman who has never seen a soul in the eyes of a demon before#2. no one is like ''oh anya has a soul!!! you cant slay her'' or ''how can you be a demon again when you have a soul wahhh''#i bet everyone just knows she has a soul. she's had a soul the whole time. everyone knows that. everyone's been knowing that.#third: it explains Why Angel And Spike Are Such Frickin Big Deals lmaoooo#the whole ''vampire with a soul'' thing isnt understood by buffy in s1 - angel tells her about it and she's like okay sure. try harder#the concept of ''souls'' being ''something'' that one ''has'' is like so ... it ONLY MAKES SENSE if vampires are KNOWN to NOT HAVE SOULS!!!#like imagine youre a demon or w/e and some master vamp comes along and youre like ''oh shit'' and he's like nah man ... ive got my Soul#and youre like ''oh SHIT. i didnt know you could do that''#vaguely related point: i think something people in fandom have always struggled with (''struggled with'' is the nice way of phrasing)#is the idea that in buffy's mind vampire with soul = good / vampire without soul = bad ALWAYS NO EXCEPTIONS#and like. theres so much nuance there. nuance number one being that buffy anne summers is the Queen Of Black And White Thinking#and we gotta take what she says with a grain of salt. nuance number two being obviously bad people can do good things and vice versa#nuance number three is that she's kinda right? if you have no true moral compass AND no true empathy AND delight in causing pain You're Bad#anyway i think this take ^^^^ about demons having souls and the people of btvs being aware of this lends EVEN MORE NUANCE!!!#because people in fandom love being like ..... buffy would kill anything without a soul. and protect anything with a soul. which tbh#i think is a deliberate misunderstanding of the source material. buffy would kill anything that harms humans and will protect#anyone that is human. thats her fucking job lmaoooooooooooooo its her calling in life. get bent#i'm ending the tag spiral here <3#it's terribly simple
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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I think this addition is very interesting!! There are lots of ways to refer to people from the USA, which brings the question: why do we not use anything other than the term "American"? Why anything else sounds wrong or forced? Mostly the issue lies on two things: (1) how "economic" they are linguistically wise, and (2) the opposition systems languages are built in.
(1) Wikipedia does a good job explaining this, so I'll attach the explanation here:
Basically, when we speak, we search for the most simple verbalization that's able to convey what we want to say in the clearest way. Almost always, we have to sacrifice one to get the other. If I use, say, "Usonian," instead of "people from the US," I'm getting a shorter, easier verbalization, but most people will not understand what I mean because let's be honest, it's a rare term in comparison to the widely-used term "American." I'll probably have to explain why I'm using that term, and probably risk getting called ugly things in the process because it's interpretable as (a) me being uncooperative in communication, and/or (b) me trying to distance myself from the other person. Either way, negative feelings are involved, just like in the "Usamerican" case. The difference probably is in the fact the later is more similar to a particular Spanish verbalization that makes it more familiar and less "mean" to foreign speakers with this first language.
Which takes me to (2), which is: forgive me if I'm quoting the wrong book, it's been a while since I last took Phonetics and Phonology, but in the study carried out by David Brazil in his book "The communicative value of intonation in English" (1985) [A/N: I searched for the book everywhere without luck, it's very interesting if you want a good Linguistics read!!] he proposes that, when making a word prominent (by phonological accentuation of a syllable), you're placing that word in contrast. It could be between two or more choices, like, e.g: "I want CHOcolate" (in the context of having to choose among ice cream flavors); or directly between that term and everything that is "not that term." Taking the previous as an example, the speaker chooses "chocolate" and contrasts it with not having chosen "not chocolate" (i.e., anything that is not chocolate).
So having said this, if I choose anything other than "American"—for the sake of the example I'll say "Usamerican"—I'm unwillingly creating an odd, unwanted distinction between "American" and "Usamerican" as in "Usamerican" ≠ "American". Same happens with "Usonian," even with "Yankee," which a lot of Americans consider a rude word when it's not referring to New Yorkers. So.
[A/N: Mr. Brazil's study isn't oriented towards word acceptance, it's oriented towards the use of the systems of intonation to achieve our communicational ends, to convey choices, etc. I hope I'm not making bad use of his excellent teachings.]
The point of this is not that I'd sound unpatriotic, it's that I'd cause confusion with my words, or even rejection, if I were to use any of these terms. It is happening with "Usamerican" already, of course. But the difference has to do with how terms from other languages start to permeate English, especially on the internet, because it's a two-way phenomenon (referring to what I said in my other, previous reblog to this same post).
In the end, it's a matter of clarity, simplicity and the complexity of opposition systems that are very difficult to break into. And very much one of the complex problems this globalized world with a huge focus on the anglosphere has, that we don't often stop to consider.
And remember: it's not that we "speak wrong", it's that we were forced to speak a language that's not ours to not fall behind and we do our best to make it ours too. Cheers.
[Thank you OP again for bearing with me fdhdhf]
usamerican is a stupid term why does this site use it so often
#aifasrants#linguistics#heck I did another ramble#I apologize for being so insistent#but I love linguistics#and this touches close to home
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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sometimes you think that you're starting to get your life together and then you forget to wear pants to class and then you go "maybe not"
#i wish i had an explanation#i was hanging around in an oversized tshirt. as i always do.#and i was like I'm gonna put on my shorts just before i leave the house.#BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS DO#me putting on my docs looking myself over in the mirror: yep. outfit complete#i mean. at least the tshirt is long enough that no one could tell? *sigh*#i have no words for myself at this point#can i be even more of a disaster? i don't think so#but maybe i'm being too optimistic#this is the second time it's happened too#tea's ramblings#my friends heard about it. now tumblr has to hear about it
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#so like I thought I was being presumptuous and blowing things out of proportion but after taking some tests#and conferring with friends I am starting to get the distinct impression that I might not be allistic#like certainly I might not be but the tests seemed legitimate enough and so much of my own experience with well life in general seems to#overlap with that of neurodivergent people who talk about theirs#I scored pretty high as well like high enough that statistically acording to the rsult explanations anyway nt don't score that high#but I mean it could always be that I am an outlier but on the other hand it would explain so much about myself#like on the one hand things I have struggled with might have led me to develop those behaviours but on the other it would make sense for#autism (or rather nt social systems vs my autism if there is) to be the reason I struggled to begin with#also like I would like to know but I don't think I necessarily want to get a formal diagnosis#like sure it would be nice to know but I don't know the potential repercussions and#as someone generally perceived as a woman misdiagnosis could very well be within the cards#like I do belong to various groups which are more statistically likely to be autistic but again I could just not be despite this#it still feels somewhat presumptuous to say I am because what if I'm just stereotyping but#it also feels irregular to dismiss the things that point towards it (and there is plenty that does) just on a lack of#professional diagnosis#anyway if anyone has any advice on this or has dealt with something similar and come to a conclusion I'd be happy to hear
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I'm in a mood, so below are some more personal ramblings.
This hasn't come up recently, but I find that in this particular moment that I am thinking about it. And that is most people's perception of me, both in person and online. I find it so interesting that the general perception of me is this bright, bubbly personality that can lighten the mood with my smile. (Obviously this is extremely a generic description but it is apt. As I have been told it in some variation throughout my life.)
But quite literally since at least kindergarten, the two most common comments on my report cards throughout my school career were about how I was a delight to have in class and my smile always lit up the classroom with my particular knack for procrastination mentioned shortly after.
I've always been the one with a smile to the point where more than once in high school when I had a more neutral expression on my face, I had people ask me out of concern if something was wrong, when nothing was.
So anyways I do think that it's interesting that this perception of me even bleeds into how I come across online. That this "sunshine and rainbows" sort of positive personality shines through what I write and post, even though I feel like it doesn't always. But I've had more than one person make comments that say exactly that to some degree. Bright is often used.
And I guess why I'm thinking about this right now is because at the moment I certainly don't feel bright or bubbly. Right now I feel a touch lonely. Which aches across the chest.
A big problem I have though is that I like to bury and ignore that feeling sometimes. I will sometimes reach out to people, but will I admit to why I'm trying to contact anyone, no. Because why admit to loneliness or anything else? Not when you can bury them down deep. I'm not looking for any advice, because I know what the solution is. It's getting out there, reaching out to people whether I want to or not and going and doing something. (Here enters procrastination once again.)
Anyways I just needed to write that out currently. And now this can get lost in the void. Though I am up for a chat.
#midnight musing#but it's not midnight#I am always so amazed by anyone who just openly can explain or has the courage to post about the struggles they're going through#that has never not once been me ever even when I was little#so I think it's more of a personality thing than anything else because not asking or explaning a need has been frustrating to my parents#but then I was also an extremely cholicy baby and never fully out grew the temper tantrums for some things#I haven't had one in a long time but then there's also been no one messing around and moving my stuff all around without me either#which is what sets off temper tantrums from me these days#ah so back more on topic I have always worn my surface emotions on my sleeve and have been a rather open book but deeper things remain#more buried than something near the surface#loneliness and feeling down often don't get shown which is silly and it's not like it's not a known fact#that my mom and others on her side of the family have suffered from depression for a good part of their lives#...... ................. .............................. there are a few times throughout my life that I have wondered if I've suffered from#................................................... at least mild depression as early as high school#At the moment I don't think what I'm feeling is depression but just loneliness though that could dive into depression#low key hope that no one takes the time to read my soul bearing here as that need to keep it buried is strong#but I'm hoping that hiding some of this stuff in the tags will let me actually post this#instead of just hiding this in drafts never to be posted#because I do have a few of those#where I needed to write out how down I was feeling but didn't dare actually post them and impose on people
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gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today
rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!
in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:
more granular rambling beneath the cut!
u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.
example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.
anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:
i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.
since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.
also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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seven minutes of misunderstanding — satoru gojo
of all the ridiculous situations you've found yourself in, being trapped in a closet with satoru gojo has to top the list. especially when you're convinced he's dating his best friend.
Of all the places you expected to end up tonight, being crammed in a tiny closet with Satoru Gojo wasn't one of them.
A stupid campus party game had somehow led to this moment—you, him, and about fifteen winter coats in a space barely big enough for one person, let alone two.
You're painfully aware of every point where your bodies touch — your back against his chest as you try to avoid the hanging coats, his breath tickling your neck, his hand awkwardly hovering somewhere near your waist like he's not sure where to put it.
The closet is so small that when you attempt to turn around to face him (because somehow facing him seems less intimate than having his breath on your neck), your chest brushes against his.
You hear his sharp intake of breath, feel the way his body tenses against yours. You're so close to him in a way it makes your skin tingle, and you're grateful for the darkness hiding your blush.
"So..." Satoru drawls. "Come here often?"
"Did you seriously just—" You try to gesture incredulously and end up elbowing him in the ribs with enough force to make him grunt. "Shit, sorry!"
You try to put some distance between you but that only results in you stepping on his foot. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! Again!"
"Just—don't move," he says, his hands finally finding your shoulders to hold you still. You feel the warmth of his palms through your shirt as he clears his throat. "We could just... not do anything. Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to. We can just wait it out."
The consideration in his voice surprises you. You try to see his face in the darkness and end up with a mouthful of fuzzy coat. After spitting out what you hope isn't synthetic fur, you say, "That's really sweet of you. And like, I get it. This must be super awkward for you too."
"Awkward?" He sounds puzzled.
"Yeah, I mean... being stuck in here with a girl when you're..."
"When I'm what?"
"You know..." You wave your hand vaguely in the narrow space. "I just meant, like, with you and Geto..."
There's a moment of complete silence, and then Satoru starts laughing so hard you can feel him shaking against you. "You think— me and Suguru? Oh my god, is that why you turned me down for lunch last month?"
"Wait, what? I thought you were just being nice! You're always hanging all over Geto—"
"Because he's my best friend."
"And that time I saw you feeding him—"
"He had a broken arm!"
"The couples' costume at Halloween—"
"We were Mario and Luigi! They are brothers."
Every explanation makes you want to dissolve into the floor more. "Oh my god," you say. "You know everyone on campus thinks you're gay—not that there's anything wrong with that! I totally support you two, you're so cute together and—"
"Can you please stop," he interrupts, pressing a finger to your lips to silence you. "I am very, very interested in women."
Your heart skips. "Oh, really?"
"Yes." His voice drops lower as he removes his finger from your lips. "One woman in particular, actually." You can feel him lean closer. "And she's currently pressed up against me in a very small closet."
"Oh," is all you can manage, your brain short-circuiting as you process his words. You try to lean back slightly, but there's nowhere to go, and suddenly his face is very close to yours.
Then he asks a question you never thought Satoru Gojo would ever ask you. "Can I kiss you?"
The question is soft, almost vulnerable—so unlike the usual Satoru you know. When you don't immediately respond, too shocked to form words, his hand comes up to gently cup your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze in the darkness. "Can I kiss you?" he asks again, his thumb brushing across your lower lip.
A breathless "yes" escapes your lips before you can overthink it.
The first brush of his lips against yours is gentle, questioning, like he's afraid you might change your mind.
Then you grab his shirt and pull him closer, and gentle goes right out the window. He kisses like he's trying to prove a point, like he's been thinking about this for ages, and oh — maybe he has been.
His hands slide from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he deepens the kiss. You gasp against his mouth, and he takes the opportunity to sweep his tongue against yours, drawing a small sound from your throat that makes him grip you tighter.
"Still think I'm gay?" he says against your jaw, trailing kisses down your neck that make your knees weak.
"Not sure," you tease him, even as your head tilts back to give him better access. "Might need more convincing."
You feel him smile against your neck. "More convincing, huh?"
In one fluid motion, he presses you more firmly against the wall, his body completely flush against yours. One of his hands slides into your hair while the other grips your hip, thumb stroking the strip of skin where your shirt has ridden up.
"Let me be very clear then." He punctuates each word with a kiss. "I am very—" kiss "—very—" kiss "—interested—" kiss "—in you."
His hand tightens in your hair as his tongue sweeps against yours, drawing a small whimper from your throat that makes him groan in response.
"God," he breathes against your lips, pulling back just enough to speak. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do this?"
You can't form a coherent response because he's already kissing you again, harder this time, more desperate. Something falls off a nearby shelf as you shift against him, but neither of you care.
You're so lost in each other that you don't hear the warning knock. The door flies open, flooding the space with light and the sounds of party chaos.
"God, finally!" Geto's voice breaks through the stunned silence. "Do you know how long I've had to watch him pine over you?"
"Suguru, I will literally murder you," Satoru growls, but he doesn't let go of you. Instead, he leans down, his lips brushing against your ear. "Wanna leave this party?"
And oh, you do.
© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or modify my work.
tags. @fayuki @starmapz @saurondriell @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna
@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @shervinss @chiyokoemilia
@janbannan
#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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