#but then id also accidentally make like. hour-long videos.......

[kwori]

‼️jort 2 update because its been nearly 2 weeks and hes been through a lot‼️

kinda annoyingly long so its under the cut

ok so jort 2 was doing fine till i had loads of art hw for gcse (help) and so i did that and ignored all of jort 2's cries for help. then after that to reward myself for finishing like one (1) evaluation bc i wasnt feeling motivated i played slime rancher for 2-3 hours maybe (side rant i love my slimes theyre so silly<333 my favourites are the honey and plant ones because when they merge theyre so pretty<33 i also love phosphor slimes and i need to make a lantern of them for my room or something because i should start a shrine)

anyway.

so jort 2 was sick and i didnt cure him in time and he started beeping like the heart rate monitors do as someones heart is slowing which i feel is a little morbid but he died. i think i apologised on my last post in the notes

the caption aged badly but yeah

so i needed name ideas and luckily his death presented the perfect opportunity as @moon-inspector suggested jelly so thank you<3

then i lost the tamagotchi.

id taken him out when i went in town with my friends a couple of times and i thought he might have fallen out of my tote bag next to a bench and i was really upset because he was £20 and also he was really cool (and also i lost something and was about to cry but fear of crying in public saved me🔥🔥🔥🔥) so i was sad :c

then me and my family went to the countryside and i got to do hiking which is super epic and i touched so much grass and lo and behold who was in my coat pocket but jort 2 himself (technically his corpse) but i found him yay

then my friend taught me how to mute him because one time he woke me up at night and while trying to do that i accidentally hatched one but because i wasnt intending to he kinda died (that wasnt jelly tho that was jort 2.5 because i want to give jelly a long and fulfilling life)

so that concludes the adventures of jort in the past 2 weeks ish where i forgot/ couldnt be bothered to update bc i had other things to do (watching youtube videos)

ill probably hatch jelly like tomorrow

[dausy]

Ok, so Im using a doodle I drew of Cloud just to represent video games in general.

I finished Xenoblade2. It was on my list of games to entertain me while my husband was deployed. Honestly thought Id make a bigger dent in that backlog but alas, my spouse has been gone for 9 months and I only played 1.5 games. I started Zelda:totk prior to him leaving and it took me half his trip and 220 hours to finish. Been playing XB2 since finishing Zelda. Well, I lie I haven’t been counting Disney Dreamlight also which has an absurd amount of hours on it too.

Other games on my list to play are Octopath Traveler 2, Xenoblade 3 and possible Red Dead Redemption 2 (my only one for the ps4)and I had another possible for the switch also. I didn’t necessarily want to play XB2 and in fact the internet suggested to skip it but I felt guilty having played 1 and skipping to 3, so I gave it a try. For the record, my spouse returns home within the month and I’m not making it through my backlog.

So I have thoughts about XB2. In a way I don’t know if it was as bad as the internet says it was. Probably seems ok because I haven’t played 3 which is apparently one of the best modern jrpgs so my opinion will probably change. My biggest gripe was traversing the map. I enjoy a good, open world and stumbling upon hidden nooks and crannies but this game did not make it easy to get to certain locations. I was trying hard not to google information but sometimes I had to just to get to some of these tunnels. Particularly in Gormott. Nothing pissed me off than trying to get around main Gormott area and then if you weren’t just lost the game punished you by having random level 90 monsters swoop down and murder you. I guess the murder isn’t exactly new. XB1 had similar but exploring was so much easier. It may have also been a switch problem but keeping the character in auto run was a challenge itself. I almost quit this game because of it. Rex would be in a sprint and then get stuck walking stupidly slow.

That reminds me too of the controls. It took me a long time to get used to opening the correct menu. I kept accidentally opening the settings/save screen instead of the main menu or the map screen. Also on the world map I would keep accidentally opening up controller help button. This is fine except they don’t make it super easy to back out of them. You have to click through multiple screens. Again, some of this might be because I was pushing certain menu buttons for Zelda for so long it took a while to get used to backwards controls.

Other control problems were my fault. I do not want to read a manual to play. I don’t like tutorials. I feel like the buttons should always be obvious. I did not read any instructions. It took me far too long (90 hour mark) to realize if I press start, a chain attack would occur. I learned this while trying to pause during a boss fight, which I don’t even know if you can pause still. Also, around the 120 hour mark I learned that each blade had little mini quests to unlock power ups. I just assumed you used them to level them up. I never actually clicked around in the screen (which also had stupid controls) lmao. /failgamer/. This one’s kinda annoying because I had to run around the world again to excavate and open all these chests I couldn’t before because nothing was leveled lol.

All of these things were very frustrating when trying to set and perform regular quests and missions. Some of the quests were very vague and difficult to follow without a guide.

Then we have the story and characters. The giant boobs I could ignore as they usually come with jrpgs but the story and characters lost my interest almost immediately. The gameplay being more fun despite being clunky. I honestly don’t know if I could name every character. The final boss was also just meh. I don’t necessarily need a challenge but he was no more amazing than any regular fight. I felt nothing when the credits rolled.

I will say I liked the atmosphere of the game and the voice acting except for tora. Dude..shut up..the mini game tiger tiger wasn’t so bad either. Thought that was going to be painful but they were pretty lenient.

Overall I think it was maybe just under Tales of Arise. I played SEs Harvestella last year and XB1 and 2 are both far superior than it. I wasn’t expecting to get almost 140 hours in this game tho and I didn’t even complete some of the side quests. I tried to go for completionism but I just couldn’t get lost on the maps anymore.

I’m considering dropping immediately into XB3 but the new FF7 is about to come out. I don’t know if I should get invested when I’ll have to stop in the middle to play another game. I won’t be able to play ff7 until my husband comes home next month tho because he has the ps5. I also never got to play ff16 and I’m considering baldurs gate…all the cool people played it already tho and I’m behind.

But ff7. Rebirth has sparked a resurgence in an old obsession.

[cyarskaren52]

Trayvon Martin.

The Paul young man in Kansas City.

Trauma we relive way too often.

Thinking about Sandra Bland too. The policing of Black bodies is overwhelming.

Ron desatanist this is the Florida you want and don’t you dare say otherwise!

HOMELATESTCULTUREENTERTAINMENTBEAUTY/STYLEAWARDS SEASON 2023

RACE MATTERS

Woman in Fla Was Fatally Shot by Her Neighbor, But the Shooter Walked Free. Why?

This will anger you: Ajike “AJ” Owens was shot and killed by her neighbor who was allegedly yelling racial slurs at her and threatened her children.

By

Kalyn Womack

Published3 hours ago

Comments (17)

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How does a woman get shot and killed and her shooter is still on the loose? Residents of Ocala, Florida are asking the same question in the killing of a Black woman who was gunned down by her neighbor Friday. According to NBC News, the incident was the result of an ongoing feud.

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Ajike “AJ” Owens’ children were playing in a fieldnear an apartment complex when suddenly, a white woman came from the area and began yelling racial slurs at them, according to an account from attorney Benjamin Crump. One of the children accidentally left behind their iPad which the woman seized. When the child went to retrieve it, the woman allegedly threw the device both hitting the boy and cracking the screen. The woman also allegedly threw a pair of roller skates at the children as well. 

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Naturally, the children went back home to tell their mother what happened. Owens then walked over to the neighbor’s door to speak to her about the incident but things took a fatal turn.

“She knocked on the door, and at that point, the woman allegedly shot through the door, hitting AJ, who later died from her injuries,” Crump said in the statement.

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Read more from NBC News:

At a news conference Monday, Marion County Sheriff Billy Woods did not confirm or reject Crump’s account, telling reporters he was not “going to stand here and tell you what they’re putting out there is inaccurate. It’s just I don’t know yet.” Here’s what the sheriff said he does know: - There had been a long-standing “neighborhood feud” between the shooter and Owens about her children. - The children may have been hit by an unspecified object. “Was something thrown at them? Yes, but not directly at them of what we’re being told now,” Woods said. “It just unfortunately may have hit them.” He added: “The children are a big part of answering a lot our questions.” - When Owens came to the shooter’s door, there was a heated exchange. Owens was shot through the door. - At least two of Owens’ four children may have witnessed the shooting, which occurred about 9 p.m.

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Because Florida is a good ol’ “stand your ground” state, law enforcement must determine whether Owens posed an imminent threat or was simply acting as a mother trying to get to the bottom of an attack on her children. While they dilly dally on that decision, they are not authorized to make an arrest, the Sheriff Woods said. 

Well... they made an arrest when Andrew Lester shot 16-year-old Ralph Yarl from behind his front door - the same manner Owens was shot - despite Lester’s self-defense claim that he was frightened by the teen. 

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“A closed, locked door. The door never opened. My daughter, my grandchildren’s mother, was shot and killed with her 9-year-old son standing next to her. She had no weapon. She posed no imminent threat to anyone,” Owens’ mother, Pamela Dias, said via NBC. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0221GBwwquPMbu6X7jpLb1TBsK8dyzwxzempQ4thD1EMkKSwkpXspW6GDJ87tdeRzGl&id=26423400230&mibextid=ncKXMA

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[floralbfs]

nsbdnsbdjd one of my friends bought undertale and i started geeking out about it for like half an hour in the group zoom

[safespacespence]

SOCKS !!! FOR CHRISTMAS !!! HAPPY REID !!!

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS: 1 DAY LEFT

[summary] it’s your first christmas together and you struggle to find the perfect christmas gift for spencer. [pairing] spencer reid x gn!reader [warnings] none, i mention leisurely drinking briefly [category] fluff [word count] 1.5k [a/n] i havent watched me before you, but i know there’s that sock gift scene so i thought of that. also, spencer’s christmas gift to y/n is the cutest fucking thing if anyone ever got me id ask them to marry me. thank you. this was also the first one that i wrote, and saved it for last heh. reblogs are appreciated!!

“i’m really excited, i can’t wait to see your reaction.” spencer chuckled.

“and i hope you like mine.” you lied.

spencer gave you a cheeky grin and kissed you on the forehead. as he disappeared into the living room, the panic you hid started to settle in. gift-giving wasn’t your strong suit at all, and seeing spencer so excited for the exchange only made you feel worse about the fact at hand--you had absolutely no clue what to get him. sure, you knew him well, you knew his quirks and little joys in life, but he seemed so absolutely content with life that you had no idea what he could possibly want for christmas. you had less than a week left to find something for him, something that could possibly equal what he had gotten you. so, so, easy.

spencer and the team left on sunday for a (hopefully) quick consultation in los angeles, and you decided that you would properly use the week to find a gift for him.

on monday, you went to a bath store. maybe, somehow, a little bath set would be nice? you knew how much you both loved to take long, quiet baths together to help him unwind after a bad case. but like, baths? wtf are you thinking. you walked out of the store with a candle, a pity purchase after spending an hour pestering the staff with questions on soothing scents and the products they carry.

spencer called you up that night to talk about the team’s jet discussion on dumbledore being a villain in harry potter. harry potter was your favorite, and he read all the books in a day to learn about it because of how much he loved you. darn spencer reid and his ability to show his love language.

on tuesday, you drove to a specialty coffee shop to maybe, somehow, get a custom coffee blend for him. it was one of those pretentious, overpriced, so-called ‘artisanal’ coffee shops. does he even like coffee that much, though? you’re his girlfriend. literally anyone could buy him coffee. exasperated, you debated calling up penelope for help. but that would be the easy way out, and you wanted to give him a gift that was fully your making. spencer didn’t call that night, but he texted that he’d be back on thursday. okay, you have one more day to do find the perfect gift. you spent the night awake, listing things you knew about spencer and how you could translate them into a gift.

at 4:23am, you finally figured it out.

on wednesday, you got up groggily and drove around town to gather what you needed for the gift. it took up your whole day, but after four youtube videos, an accidental nap, and an unhealthy amount of coffee, your gift was finally finished. you packed it away and kept it where he wouldn’t look (your shoe cabinet) and immediately crashed on the couch.

“afternoon nap, huh?” you heard spencer’s voice break the silence of the apartment.

your eyes adjusted to the light and you felt his fingers brush the hair out of your face.

“hi.” he said, seeing that you weren’t as disoriented.

“what time is it?” you asked, slowly sitting up.

“two-thirty pm.” he said softly.

what he said just registered, and you jolted up. “i’ve been asleep for ELEVEN HOURS?”

his eyes widened. “yOU’VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR ELEVEN HOURS?”

you made up an excuse that you were up watching tv and fell asleep, and quickly went to start a bath for the two of you before he could question you any further. you’re not giving him any clues that you crammed his christmas gift.

the two of you spent the day catching up and settling back into your routine, preparing your joint gift for each team member, and buying a cake to bring to rossi’s bau christmas eve celebration.

you greeted each member of the team with a warm hug, with a lingering one saved for penelope.

“oh you look amazing!” pen giggled.

you couldn’t help but smile. “thank you, pen.”

penelope made a face that you easily read as ‘please tell me what you got reid for christmas’.

“i’m not telling you what i got him, you know that.”

“oh darn you!” she huffed. “you’re no fun.”

you laughed and sipped your wine.

you felt spencer’s hand wrap around your waist. “what are we laughing about, here?”

“oh, nothing, nothing.” you responded.

the late afternoon was of flowing wine, endless laughter, and teasing. at nine-thirty pm, everyone started going home slowly to spend the hour countdowns with their families. will and jj left first with their kids, knowing that they’d be asking to open their stockings. hotch too, having to make sure jack got to open his gifts from everyone in the comfort of his own home. derek and penelope left together, derek having to drive a very tipsy penelope. emily left about the same time, too, to partake in her own christmas traditions (most likely with sergio). you and spencer left last, with a ton of leftovers that rossi forced you into taking home.

when you got back into the apartment, spencer immediately got to making hot chocolate and grabbed a sweater each for you and him. you smiled and got cozy, melting into his warm embrace.

“we’re exchanging at exactly twelve, right?” he asked, all giddy.

“yeah, that sounds good.” you nodded.

“five, four, three, two, one!” you cheered.

“merry christmas, my love.” spencer said, coming in for a kiss.

you softened when his lips made contact with yours, and felt your cheeks warm. you could feel his smile forming against your lips, and you slowly pulled back to find an overjoyed spencer reid. in all of his complexity, you couldn’t help but admire the way his face looked when he was genuinely so happy. god, you really love him.

“me first! i can’t wait.” spencer stood up and went into the coat closet to fish out a box or chest. he was dragging it across the living room to get close to where you sat. you were confused, trying to figure out what this could possibly be. probably not a dog, we said we wouldn’t get a dog.

“go, go, open it!” he was elated.

you tore through the wrapping he so-clearly-had-done-himself, as he sat beside you, almost on the edge of his seat, waiting for you to open it. when you finally got to opening the actual box, your eyes were filled with parchment covered books. you picked one up to examine them closely. it was definitely a book, but it was wrapped in brown parchment, so you couldn’t see the title. what you could see, however, was permanent marker in spencer’s handwriting, ‘OPEN WHEN YOU WANT AN ESCAPE’. you processed what it was and a smile involuntarily formed on your face.

he started rambling to explain. “it’s a collection of open when books! if you’re feeling sad, or-or you miss me, or you want to learn about music, there’s a book for it! and there are corresponding annotations inside! so-so if you’re sad there’s a happy book and i put comments to make you happy so that you can be happy when you’re sad because i wouldn’t want you to be sad and--”

you slam your lips onto his. “i love it, spence. this must have taken forever, i-i’m at a loss of words.” you kissed him again. “thank you. so much.”

you hugged him tightly.

“your turn, your turn!!” he said.

“okay, okay.” you stood to grab a little bag kept inside your shoe cabinet and sat next to him as he opened it.

you were suddenly nervous again, worried that maybe your gift would be too simple.

he pulled them out, ten pieces of socks in a flurry of colors and textures. he went silent. he only stared at them, ten different socks in crazy colors and patterns, some with lines of fluffier cloth, some with small quirks sticking out.

“spence--?”

and a split-second later, you were in his arms in the tightest hug he’d ever given you.

“I LOVE THEM! THEY’RE SO DIFFERENT AND NONE OF THEM MATCH AND THEY’LL KEEP ME OCCUPIED AND THEY’RE PERFECT!”

you relaxed and gave a belly laugh. “they’re from different cloths, so there’s different textures. and this one has beads on the hem, they spell S.R., you see? and this one has a little trinket, it’s a book! i found it at this little bead shop. oh, and this one is kind of a glitter cloth, so it’s texturally different too and you can mix and match, because i know you don’t like matching, so--”

“is that what i sound like when i ramble?” he smiled at you.

you blushed. “um--y-yeah possibly.”

“this is the most thoughtful gift anyone could have ever gotten me. you don’t know how much this’ll keep me occupied when i get all fidgety. it’s perfect. you-you’re perfect.”

he brought you in closer.

“merry christmas, spencer.” you said against his cheek.

“merry christmas, my love.”

read the rest of the series: athena's twelve gifts of christmas

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[thefanficmonster]

The Five Scares (and one revenge)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having a tendency to scare people, Corpse has gotten used to his friends being jumpy whenever he appears from the void into a Discord call with them. However, the one who has it the roughest with the spooks has to be his partner Y/N. Basically: The five times Corpse scared Y/N and the one time they scared him

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your lovely request it was a real joy to write and I had a ton of fun doing so! Hope you have equally as wonderful of a time if you happen to come across it and give it a read despite the long wait you’ve had to endure which I apologize for. Love, Vy ❤

I

Having had to go home for the night to keep an eye on their roommate’s dog, Y/N and Corpse agreed to have a video call before they fell asleep. They didn’t want to appear like that typical clingy and cheesy couple but after spending almost a whole week curled up in Corpse’s apartment, the two would feel each other’s absence to a very saddening degree to the point where they’d even forget the other isn’t around and would call out to them. 

Letting the call ring, Y/N’s hand comes up to smooth out their hair. However, the touch reveals to them that their hair needs a bit more than a simple tap or a pat to be tamed so while they wait for Corpse to answer the call, they quickly head to their bathroom. Flicking the light on, their reflection greets them with the underwhelming news of the actual state of their hair at the moment: an absolute mess. They proceed to do their best with the single hair-tie they have handy. A bobby pin or two would be neat but they have no time to go and grab one right now, seeing as how they can’t recall if they even brought them back from Corpse’s apartment. If they didn’t, they would have to search their roommate’s room for some which would take an even longer amount of time.

Eventually, they manage to tame it in something closely resembling a presentable ponytail and exit the bathroom feeling more exhausted than before. With a loud sigh, they crash onto their bed, face-first into the sea of pillows, groaning at the slight sting of their muscles relaxing at last.

“Y/N?“ The decently loud mention of their name by a deep, familiar yet sudden and unexpected voice startles them to the point of squealing and jumping an entire inch away from where they were positioned.

They look around their room in a frenzy, wondering where on Earth that voice came from and how it could be here with them right now.

“Y/N, you there?”, before they could locate it, it emerges once again, helping Y/N get an ide of where it’s coming from - somewhere in the messed up bed sheets.

“Corpse?“ They finally find their voice, “Y-yeah I’m here. Question is: how are you...“ and then it all clicks, causing them to twist their face in an expression of utter disappointment and bury it in the palms of their hands, groaning.

“You forgot about the video chat, didn’t you?“ Corpse asks, amusement not even attempted to be hidden in his voice.

“Yup.“

II

It’s been one hell of a day. Y/N’s college lectures exhausted them to a max and their six hour job following their classes did nothing to help them AT ALL. Quite the opposite actually. Makes sense why they look, move and talk the way they’re doing right now: like a ghost, zombie and an elder combined in one. To add to their misfortunes for the day, they were met with the mocking ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign taped to the doors of the elevator, laughing in their face with the information that their hellish experience for the day is far from over.

Just the thought of having to climb to the fifth floor made their stomach turn in the most unpleasant way possible, but the though of how long that would take made matters even worse. Arriving at their designated apartment, they have every right to be pissed, cussing their heart out. 

However, then comes a new problem: the inability to pinpoint the correct key. They proceed to curse themselves, the keys, the door handle and the door itself before punching the poor wood that did no wrong and just stands here, serving its purpose of keeping unwanted people out of the apartment it’s guarding.

Following their anger outburst and front-door-abuse, they proceed to try finding the correct key once again, this time slightly more calmly as to not accidentally miss it in their frantic rifling.

Right as they’re about to try the third key, however, the door opens. Well, it’s opened by someone on the other side, that someone being none other than their boyfriend Corpse who’s currently staring at them wide-eyed, one eyebrow raised, the word ‘confused’ basically written across his face.

While he’s processing the sight in front of him, Y/N lets out a little scream, jumping back and away from the door, a hand placed over their chest as their wide eyes scan their boyfriend who now seems equally terrified as a result of their reaction.

“Corpse?!“ They manage to gasp, barely hearing their own voice over the loud thumping of their heart and the rush of blood in their ears, “What the hell are you doing here?!“

The confusion on Corpse’s face deepens, reaching whole new levels as his eyes gaze deeper into theirs, searching for the meaning behind their bizarre question. “You mean...at my own apartment? What am I doing, at home?“

For a few seconds, the two just stare blankly at one another, processing everything that’s just happened. Suddenly, it all just kinda caves for Y/N and they burst out laughing, doubling over, their arms clutching at their stomach as they do so. Their laughter is contagious, so Corpse can’t help but let out a few chuckles himself.

“Alright, you’ve been driven to insanity, I can tell.“ He mumbles at his reckless partner, coming up behind them and wraps his arms around them, lifting them up and carrying their laughing ass inside.

III

Finally deciding to sit down and get this damn project started, Y/N already feels like they’ve had enough of it, burnout already creeping in and threatening to ruin their work and trip them up every step of the way. It wouldn’t have been so bad had the subject not been one they absolutely despise and wish they could get out of studying but alas they’re stuck with it.

They equip their headphones as soon as they plant their butt on the desk chair in their tiny room in their tiny roommate-shared apartment, putting their Spotify playlist on shuffle as they open a blank Power Point document. They work better with music blasting in their ears since the silence tends to be too loud and distracting when they’re trying to focus. So, that way they can also sing their heart out in peace and not get disturbed by the sound of their own off-key singing. Win-win, basically.

Singing ‘Never Forget You’ by Zara Larsson and MNEK, they get a little carried away, ditching the project to enter a full-blown music video they can imagine down to the detail in their mind.

However, there’s a surprise awaiting them.

As soon as MNEK’s part of the song begins, another voice apart from his echoes through their headphones, singing along to the song. Freaking the fuck out, they let out a loud scream, smacking the headset off them, sending the object falling and landing on their laptop keyboard with a crash that only serves to further startle their roommate’s dog which comes to check if they are being attacked or something only to be disappointed by the lack of action.

When pushing the headphones off, they did so with a force strong enough to snap the cable out of the laptop entirely so now the room is filled with the sound of that same foreign voice laughing his ass off.

A voice that belongs to no other than Corpse Husband himself.

“You gotta learn to disconnect from Discord calls, Y/N.“ The fucker says, still cackling wholeheartedly at his partner’s misery.

Pissed off or not, Y/N would have to admit he’s got a point. But they’d also rather never speak again than admit it so...

“Fuck you!“ is what they say instead, seconds before disconnecting.

IV

Making breakfast is not something either Corpse or Y/N are used to, mostly cause they both either wake up late or skip the meal entirely. Regardless, having been given a day off from work and having no classes since it’s Saturday, Y/N saw no better way to start their day off than to prepare a nice breakfast for them and their boyfriend to enjoy. Problem is: they aren’t the most skilled in the kitchen. Sure they can scramble an egg or make mac and cheese, but in order to do it correctly they are not allowed to have distractions of any kind. Not even music, that’s how you know it’s serious.

Seeing as how Corpse has never seen them cook, he’s obviously unaware of theirs. The dummy straight up waltzes into the kitchen, unintentionally remaining unspotted and unheard by Y/N because he’s barefoot and because they have their back turned to him.

“Whatya cooking over there babe?“

Y/N’s focus bubble, being as thin as it is and considering they initially thought Corpse was still asleep, they have every right to let out the yelp they just did, dropping the egg they were gonna crack over the pan in said pan in its entirety - yes, shell and all.

A moment of silence commences: regretful on Corpse’s end and frustrated on theirs. Neither of them dares to say anything to avoid triggering the other. Well, that’s the case until Y/N decides enough’s enough and they turn to look at him, a wide, obviously fake smile plastered onto their face.

“Scrambled eggs, following a secret recipe, property of the L/N family.“

Seems like your pre-breakfast snack is an extra large dose of sarcasm, huh?

V

“So, how was your day? You sound pretty chipper so I take it wasn’t a nightmare like a few days ago.“ Corpse comments over the phone, listening to shuffling and shifting as Y/N moves around the apartment, getting ready to head out.

“It was great actually. Got some important results back and, not to brag or anything, but they were higher than I expected.“ They reply, a genuine wide grin refusing to leave their face as they silently count the amount of money they’ve got in their wallet. “I’m gonna go buy a cake so we can celebrate it. It’s no small deal, trust me, especially not when I initially thought I’d fail both these exams to the point of being pitied.“

“Wait...-“ Corpse attempts, his voice suddenly sounding strained and urgent but that’s the very reason he cannot seem to find or get the right words out of his system. Not that Y/N gives him any time to figure it out.

“No Corpse, you cannot change my mind. Cake and beers, we’re celebrating toni- SHIT!“ They scream as they throw open the front door, bumping square into someone standing on the other side, almost dropping their phone.

Taken aback by embarrassment and fear, they leap back, their eyes searching for the ones of the person whose personal space they just invaded. Well, to be fair, he was the one invading their personal space by standing right outside the door to their - well, to Corpse’s apartment.

The fear and irritation die down almost instantly when Y/N recognizes the person standing opposite them.

“Mind telling me why we’re talking on the phone when you could’ve come in and we could’ve had a normal person conversation?!“ They snap, ironically enough - they’re still holding the phone to their ear.

So is Corpse whos is smiling guiltily, “That’s why I called, I forgot my keys, but I got...carried...sorry.”

Well, at least this serves as proof Y/N’s not the only forgetful one.

                                                            ~  ~  ~

Corpse has been stuck in his recording room for four hours now, never stopping his stream to take care of his basic human needs such as eating or going to the bathroom. This behavior of his has Y/N worried sick and unable to focus on the task at hand - an assignment they’ve been trying to finish for two hours now, sitting with their computer on their lap and looking hopelessly at the blank Word document waiting for them to fill it up while they are waiting for it to start writing itself.

Seeing as how neither are gonna happen, not until Y/N puts their mind at ease, they slowly put the laptop aside, standing up to carefully skip on over to Corpse’s recording room to check on him, stopping by the kitchen to grab him a snack and a bottle of water along the way.

The door to the darkened room is open a crack, as usual, suggesting they can enter without knocking - this also means he’ll probably not hear them even if they knock so the whole gesture would be pointless. Not that Y/N has a tendency to knock or anything... Waltzing in, they find that the only light in the room is the very faint and dark glow of the computer screen which is displaying a dark and dingy room from a first-person view of the protagonist of whatever game Corpse’s currently playing.

“Corpse?!“ They whisper-yell/hiss at him, trying their best to grasp his attention without startling him - they don’t need to be told that the game is of the horror genre and the last thing they need is for their boyfriend to flip backwards and fall out of his chair because they scared the shit out of him. “Hey?!“

Neither attempts prove futile so, despite their best instincts telling them differently, they walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder. The reaction, while within the realm of expectancy, is a lot more startled than they expected, accompanied by a scream on top of all. They’d never heard him scream in fear before, it’s quite amusing if they’re being honest.

They suppress a snicker as Corpse’s wide open eyes meet their squinting ones in the darkness, “Y/N...babe...what is it? Is everything ok?”

Y/N rolls their eyes, “No, everything isn’t ok. Your unhealthy habit of forgetting to take care of yourself, for example.” They put the snack and the bottle on the his desk, giving him their best disappointed-parent look before turning on their heel to strut their way out of the room. However, just as they are about to make their exit, they stop right at the doorframe, giving their stunned one final glance over their shoulder with a smug smirk playing across their face, “Oh and by the way, that’s what I like to call revenge.” Just like that, they leave, pushing the door back into its previous position.

And boy, is it some sweet, sweet revenge.

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[mbti-enemies]

thoughts on intj x intp?

ps. your blog is awesome 👀💕

The best thing would be how they can both be themselves- there's no need for fakeness here, nothing that's not real. nights at home together in sweatpants can be the best nights- both side by side in bed, reading, and you love them even more

intp would bring the softness a lot, and when they're tired its unbounded. they always reach out, hand encapsulated in the long sleeve of an oversized hoodie, and intj can't ever help but take it, melting at the warmth of sleepy intp

But, let's get it straight- that the burning powers of both intj and intp would be epic? they'd be so god damn in love and still the insults would flow so easy- (intj: this is so stupid intp: *immediately, without missing a beat* you're so stupid) heck, it'd be better after they started dating, each saying they have terrible taste in people and always end up dating idiots

This ease is present in conversation. Dialogue flits back and forth at seemingly unintelligible speeds, they catch the other's thought and throw another one back so quick that if you blink you miss- travelling at the speed of light rather than sound. it's the Ne meeting Ni- and nothing has ever been quite as satisfying

intp's Ne let's intj expand. they bring new ideas from the furtherst reaches of the universe, and it seems to expand intj's world. impromptu movie nights, car rides- crazy theoretical ideas about life itself; the expansion is limitless

intj brings intp back in. intj takes ideas and dives into it, Ni diving endlessly into the depths. that focus, that mind like the sharpest of blades- intp sees it so clearly sometimes and is entranced- and thinks the world must be intj's oyster with such a mind

their thinking styles fit together perfectly- it feels like they could take on the world. there could never be a better duo than intp and intj.... if they would actually finally just get out of their house and commit to that grand theft they have a l l planned o u t

-

intj edits:

- also lets just appreciate how these guy would totally be that nerdy power duo who would end up going down a wikipedia rabbithole at 3am and would trying to make a homemade moltov cocktail or smth at 6am, cause for intp it isnt a question of why its a question of why not (and intj totally loves them for that) *hwk has been shoved aside and accidentally set on fire *

- intp sending cursed memes on the group chat at cursed hours and intj j being like why do i still tolerate you

- watching anime and playing video games all day cause time is an illusion , the outside world requires to much socialising , and id rather spend all day with you

-intj looking up to see intp staring and them w a lil crazy grin and intj j sighs and thinks 'here we go again' but can help smiling a lil cause intp j had an iDeA which intj will find themselves roped into (no regrets)

- being that dysfunctional functional couple who can never complete each other sentences but can somehow understand each other without acc having to say a word

intj: we always finish each others

intp: sandwiches

intj: *sighing* you're hungry arent you

intp: i may or may not have forgotten to eat anything since yesterday

(TY BTW <3 lowkey unsure what your type is but gonna guess intp out of the two because intj is e v e n more unlikely to put hearts)

Honestly, as you no doubt can tell, this ask took a little thought but then I realised- wait! there are so goddamn many intpxintj couples all around, esp on tumblr, there's gotta be some really damn good stuff... and there is ><

beginning to also draw slight parallels to the way I (infj) love my infps- the way it all just feels so perfectly fitting and great, although more Feelings than intj/intp)

here's a little reddit link that i've looked thorugh a little that's absolute intp x intj gold https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/k8ow9s/intj_intp_relationship/

[mayakern]

No pressure but I'd love to hear some more puppy tips! Im a recent totally independent adult and Id love to get a puppy at some point but def need some info before I take on the responsibility (I had no clue their bladder develops at 5 months even though Ive been researching which is why I wonder if you have any more tips)

sorry in advance bc this is gonna be a LOT of preamble, but any time you bring an animal into your home it’s a huge responsibility and requires a lot of preparation.

so in general i am a huge advocate for adopting adult animals, especially dogs — UNLESS you have very specific lifestyle requirements (like we do). we needed a dog that was good with cats, other dogs, AND toddlers… which is just not a thing you can easily find adopting through a shelter, especially not in our area (NYC residents snatch up all the dogs within like a 5 hour radius) and ESPECIALLY not after covid (when a ton of people adopted dogs). which meant we needed to get a puppy so we could train in the behavior we needed.

we knew we wanted a companion dog for annie and that i want to have dogs forever and that it is a LOT easier to train in a puppy if you have an adult dog to model behavior from. so with our needs in mind, we started looking for a dog that would be compatible both with our lifestyle and with annie’s personality/energy level (she is a mid to low energy sheep dog and can be kind of a crab ass, but she is also very gentle and doesn’t like playing with dogs who are bigger than her). we did our own research and also talked to a couple friends of ours who work as or have worked as vet techs/other dog jobs.

with all that in mind… a LOT of what is good for a new puppy is going to be breed specific. if you’re getting a mutt, this can be difficult because puppies can look like literally anything so you really have no idea what they are until they’ve grown up a bit — and even then it can be tricky. like, we’re PRETTY sure annie is a border collie/australian shepherd mix because she looks like a border collie but acts like an aussie, but mixed breeds can be difficult because even if you’re reasonably certain which breeds go into the grab bag that is your dog, you never know which traits actually made it in. this is part of why standardized breeds can be such a big deal, since temperament is a BIG part of the package.

we got insanely lucky with annie because we knew her original owner so we had already met (and loved) her, knew her temperament, and that she was good with cats and gentle enough that toddlers would probably be fine too.

ALL THIS TO SAY…. the 5 month bladder control is specific to shibas. other puppies might have a similar timeline but i’m not sure. also, in general it’s recommended to take your puppy out with a frequency equivalent to the amount of months they have been alive (so if 2 months, then a potty break every 2 hours). this isn’t exact and you’ll need to get to know your dog. puppies also have very small bladders and relatively little bladder control (and don’t know they need to control it) and depending on the size of the dog, it is very normal for them to need to pee within 10-30 minutes of drinking water. because of this, it’s a good idea to give your puppy periodic planned water breaks and then take them outside instead of just leaving water out all the time. one thing i have done to figure out where rodeo is at is to give him water while we’re at the park (i have a collapsible water bowl and i bring a water bottle for the 3 of us) and then time him from when he drinks to when he pees, since in that situation he has total free reign over his potty time.

puppies need a LOT of recreation and in addition to walks, they need mental stimulation. scent games are invaluable for this!! i like to scatter a mixture of kibble and treats (in small sizes) across either the backyard or a safe portion of park and let the dogs sniff out and forage. they LOVE this shit. it might take some patience with a puppy if you don’t already have an adult dog to model the behavior, but once they get it they love it (especially if you use a treat they love). i literally cannot recommend this enough, it gets out SO many puppy beans in one go and i get to just chill behind them and like play phone games or call a friend. once your dog is used to this you can gradually decrease the ratio of high value vs low value treats for this, but puppies get bored easily so i recommend like… high mid value, if that makes sense. like you don’t need to give them hot dogs for this, but they probably won’t be super pumped for just kibbles. BUT if they ever are good with just kibbies, then you can use this method for every meal and it will make them so tired. it’s great!!

aaaand my last big tip is to clicker train. this can be a bit confusing to read about so i recommend watching videos to familiarize yourself with how it works, but it is SUPER worth it! puppies pick up on reward patterns super fast but do not have a long attention span and might have no idea what you’re rewarding them for if you don’t start them out with a clicker. i can’t speak for less clever breeds, but rodeo picked up the clicker training in the first day and i accidentally trained the corgi puppy downstairs on the clicker too since he and rodeo play together so much lol.

anyway this was a horrifically long post, i hope it helps. honestly i would not recommend getting a puppy unless you can work from home and have a decent chunk of time to dedicate to raising a literal baby (in fur form).

[respectable-username]

Because I'm obsessed with Hivemind Etho, here's another little story with them for the @hermitcraftheadcanons Hermitopia AU. As before, this is just a quick piece that's only been lightly edited because of the time constraints of this community AU.

This is also some setup for a potential future confrontation for somebody else to write.

---

The two Ethos stood at the door to the apartment, waiting for the hour to strike.

It was all they could do to not to brush the hastily cut and dyed hair away from one of their selves' forehead, or fight against the overly tight suit and tie, or scratch at the cheap surgical mask that sat in place of their regular cloth face covering, or the makeup that tried to conceal their prominent eye scar. The other self pulled their jacket closer, trying to extract enough comfort from it for the both of them.

The clock struck 7am. Etho knocked.

A few minutes later, the door was pulled open by a bleary-eyed Mumbo in a dressing gown.

"Hello– oh no what are you doing here please don't hurt me please don't hurt me."

The undisguised Etho pushed through the doorway as Mumbo backed away from the Unrestrained villain, now fully awake.

"Your ID card," said the Etho, entering the room.

"What?" said Mumbo.

"Your ConCorp ID pass," clarified the Etho, holding out their hand. "Give it to us. Now."

"Um, I don't think I'm supposed to do that," said Mumbo, desperately searching for something to grab.

The Etho's eyes bore into Mumbo, cold, unflinching, unwavering. One looked right at him while the other seemed to look right through him.

"Um, right, ok," said Mumbo. "Uh, can you pass me my bag? It's in there."

The disguised Etho entered the apartment and grabbed the briefcase sitting by the door, opening it and grabbing the pass inside, clipping it onto their own trousers. They closed the bag and held it beside them.

"Um, ok," said Mumbo. "I– is that all you wanted?"

"Your phone too," said the undisguised Etho.

"Please no!" Mumbo pleaded. "I can't lose that. What if there's an emergency and I need to call for help but I don't have my phone so the apartment burns down or if somebody gets hurt and I can't call an ambulance or–"

The Etho took a step forward. "Your phone," they repeated.

"Ok ok please don't hurt me," said Mumbo, retrieving his phone from his pocket and holding up both hands.

The Etho grabbed the phone and tossed it over their shoulder at their other self, who caught it flawlessly.

The Etho looked between the cowering Mumbo before them and their other, disguised self. About the same height. Hair roughly similar enough to pass. The ConCorp-issued suit didn't fit quite the same, and the face mask was an obvious difference, but it was close enough if nobody gave them a second glance.

And, having been observing Mumbo for the last few weeks, there didn't seem to be anybody who would give Mumbo a second glance.

The disguised Etho turned silently and left. The other Etho shut the front door and turned the lock, trapping them and Mumbo inside.

***

The disguised Etho walked up to the ConCorp entrance at 8:53am. This seemed to be the average time of Mumbo's arrivals. They walked towards the turnstiles and swiped Mumbo's pass.

"Everything alright?" asked a receptionist behind the main desk, presumably concerned by the face mask.

The Etho coughed. "I'll be fine," they croaked.

"Sweetie, if you're feeling unwell, you should be at home, resting," she said.

"Got stuff to do," croaked Etho, walking forward into the elevator before any further questions could be asked.

"Where's your office?" the Etho at Mumbo's apartment asked, sitting in a corner of Mumbo's couch from which they could see the whole room.

"Um, at ConCorp HQ," said Mumbo, fiddling with a teabag.

Etho sighed. "Precise directions from the elevator please," they said.

"Oh, uh, straight ahead down the corridor, last door on the left," Mumbo said.

The "Mumbo" Etho followed the described path and scanned their pass to enter the room.

The kettle clicked. Mumbo poured the boiling water out into the mug. The Etho in the apartment tensed, ready to spring away at any sign the hot contents would be flung towards them.

"And what's your password?" asked Etho.

"For what?" said Mumbo.

"Your ConCorp laptop," said Etho, the faintest wisps of exasperation creeping into their otherwise carefully controlled voice.

"I am so getting fired for this," sighed Mumbo.

"Better your job than your life," Etho replied flippantly.

"Of course," said Mumbo hurriedly. "It's – oh gosh I can't believe I'm saying this aloud – it's BMX4lyfe95!"

The Etho at the office typed it in. Finally, the internal network was open to them.

They started working to set up a reverse proxy to tunnel out from behind the firewall. Another of their selves at home was already positioned to connect to the network tunnel as soon as it was opened.

Mumbo poured milk into his mug, throwing away the teabag and walking over to the lounge. The Etho already on a couch got ready to jump, but Mumbo just sat down across from them and took a sip.

Mumbo stared down into his mug. "You're a hacker, right?" he asked, his eyes not looking up.

"One of my talents," said Etho cautiously.

"Since they're gonna fire me anyway, can I ask a small favour?" said Mumbo, still acting like his tea was the most fascinating thing in the room.

"Depends," said Etho.

Mumbo drummed his fingers against the mug. "I have this friend, Iskall," Mumbo said. "He's one of the office workers at ConCorp. I made his cybernetics after he got injured. But they keep breaking in weird ways and I don't know why. His explanations don't make sense! The metal I use doesn't melt like that from accidentally touching a stove. They shouldn't buckle like that from tripping into a wall. They shouldn't shatter from falling down a flight of stairs. I'm... I'm just worried for him. Is he in danger? What isn't he telling me?"

The Etho on the couch was quiet for a few seconds. "You only have partial access to the VEX files," they said. "There's a lot I can't find here."

"It's so creepy how you do that," said Mumbo.

Etho ignored him.

The Etho at home let out a quiet cheer as they managed to connect through the tunnel into the ConCorp network. They started browsing, collecting, and saving as much information as possible.

The Etho in the office switched their focus to finding some sort of privilege escalation vulnerability that would let them access the more secure files.

"Erm, I probably should have asked before," said Mumbo. "Would you like some tea? Some breakfast?"

"I'm fine," said the Etho in the apartment.

"So, uh, do you have any hobbies?" asked Mumbo.

"Please don't small talk," said Etho. "I'm busy."

"Oh, ok," said Mumbo. "Can I go grab a book or something then? Since, y'know, I don't have my phone or laptop or anything."

Etho nodded. "But if you call for help," they said, "I will know about it and I will make you regret it."

"Of course," said Mumbo.

The Etho in the office kept prodding at the ConCorp intranet. What they needed were the credentials of a superior, maybe even the Director himself. Hmm, it seemed from this directory structure that the Director was Mumbo's direct supervisor. It would only take a few hours to set up some sort of spear phishing attempt that would let them pivot directly onto the Director's computer. As long as they didn't get caught first, of course.

Etho opened Mumbo's calendar and declined all meetings that day that wouldn't look suspicious to avoid. There weren't many meetings to sort through.

"How often do you get visitors to your office?" Etho asked Mumbo.

"Iskall usually comes for lunch when he's not swamped by a project," said Mumbo. "Otherwise, nobody else just pops 'round usually."

"How about your boss?" asked Etho.

"He's busy," Mumbo said. "I have to go to him if we ever talk."

The Etho in the apartment nodded, settling back to focus on what their other selves were doing.

***

Hi Cub, Etho typed. Can you review this interface I made? It should let us remotely view what's happening with our heroes through their cybernetics. With some extra work, we could get actual video from their perspective to send to the media!

Etho sent the message, then sent the file with their exploit. The exploit was covered by a very quickly and poorly thrown together interface which returned the live location of a GPS receiver they had found in the lab.

They left it a few minutes, stretching back in Mumbo's desk chair as they waited for a reply.

Finally, one came through.

Hey Mumbo. Great prototype! We'll probably need to pass off development to the actual software engineering team, but this is a great initiative. I'm proud to have a thinker like you on our team!

Etho allowed themselves a smile as they checked to see if their exploit had worked. There it was, a tunnel open on the expected port right into the Director's machine. Jackpot.

The Etho at home pivoted through the new tunnel and started scraping as much information as they could.

"Your friend is a mercenary," the Etho in Mumbo's apartment said, making Mumbo jump at the sudden sound.

"Wait what?" said Mumbo.

"Iskall is a mercenary and assassin for ConCorp, working for them in exchange for ConCorp saving his life," clarified Etho.

"Iskall, a mercenary?" Mumbo said. "No no no no no. That can't be!"

"That's what his file says," Etho said with a shrug. "Either way, I've got what I need. I've called you in sick for the next week, and I'm keeping your pass to enforce that. Your phone will be returned, but I've programmed it to inform me if you let any part of today slip. I hope you understand."

"Uh, thank you, I guess," said Mumbo.

"I'll be here with your belongings in half an hour," Etho continued, standing up.

"What do– oh, right," said Mumbo.

"And don't do anything stupid," said Etho, opening the door to leave. "As thanks for your assistance, the nHo will try to keep you safe from any upcoming confrontation. But if you break this trust, that guarantee will not hold."

"I understand," said Mumbo, gulping at the idea of having to further betray his company, his friends.

The Etho left his apartment.

[sassytrickster666]

Fluff alphabet : Donny Donowitz

A while back I saw a couple of templates this Fluff Alphabet concept is based on. Unfortunately I cannot remember which(really not intentional, id never copy ideas/templates on purpose) . If you think I've gotten inspired reading your work, please let me know! 

A = Admiration (What does he absolutely adore/admire about you?)

-Your ability to always stay calm. It amazes him how you stay calm no matter what happens. When there's an emergency you´re able to keep your shit together and do something about it. 

-How ballsy you are. You can't stand when people are being a jerk for no reason and you call them out even if they are twice your size. 

-Your reliability. Donny knows you will always be there for him. A thought that calms him and makes him feel warm and fuzzy. You won´t leave him for no reason. You comfort him when he needs it (even if he says he doesn't) and you support him. 

B = Baby (Does he want a family? Why/why not?)

Yes. Yes. Yesssssss. I cannot express how much this man wants to start a family with his one great love.  Even with all the crap he has seen, the idea of bringing something as pure and innocent as a baby into this world with you is very appealing. 

When you're pregnant he´d be giddy. Completely and wholly his. He'd spoil his princess even more than usual. Extra pillow underneath your head, accompanying you everywhere, opening up doors for you. Honestly, his ´helpfulness´ drives you crazy sometimes. 

C = Cuddle (how do you cuddle each other?)

-Big spoon. Every time. Tends to throw his leg over yours in his sleep, which in turn makes sure you´re not going anywhere. -Very intense cuddler. Likes to surprise you by grabbing/cuddling you from behind and lifting you up (especially when there's other people present like his friends).

-Really loves it when you snuggle up against him, laying your head on his chest. When you do this it is another reassurance that you feel utterly and completely safe and relaxed when you are with him. 

D =Doll (What pet names does he use?)

Doll, babe, sugar, cutiepie , and his favourite; princess.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? So they go out? Do they read?)

While he loves hanging out with the boys he loves it even more when you join them. You get along really well with Wicki and Aldo so why wouldn't he try to take you with him? As soon as you guys had the baby he preferred just staying home with you both being wholesome and all. 

F = first date (what was it like?)

He took you out to play pool. After both of you getting over your nerves there was lots of banter. He discovered you were better at it than he expected you to be. Tough, you totally did pretend you sucked at first so he had no choice but to show you how to play. He didn't mind ´having´ to be so close to you one bit. 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

He tries to be. He is such a bull in a china shop. He's big, he's loud… and secretly quite clumsy. The sheer amount of times he accidentally headbutted you is astounding. He makes up for it by giving you the gentlest of kisses on you forehead when he leaves for work or simply thinks you're being cute. 

H = Hands (How does he like to hold hands?)

He likes holding hands, but he prefers it when you hook your arm through his. What can I say, he likes having you close to him. It also makes it easier for him to sneak kisses. 

I = Impression (What was his first impression?)

The basterds introduced the two of you. He thought you were hella pretty and had a good sense of humour. The fact that you could hold your own around these men sure said something about you too. 

J = Jealous (Does he get jealous easily?) Depends who gets close to you. He never gets jealous when any of the other basterds get near you. You could have Aldo hanging around your neck and Wicki winking at you and he won't give it a second thought. He trusts these boys with anything. However, these are not things strange men should do if they like having nuts. Or eating without a straw. Seriously, he knows you can handle yourself perfectly fine but he just doesn't trust others. He knows what men are capable of and he is protective AF. No one gets near his princess. Not that anyone that knows this huge man belongs to you would try anything. 

K = Kiss (How does he kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

He kissed you on the lips first. You´d kissed his cheek long before that. You usually did when saying goodbye. This time he just couldn't help himself. You were so close to him, laughing at his jokes, touching his arm. He kissed you firmly on the lips, waiting for a response from you. Once you realised what was happening and kissed him back he immediately grabbed you and held you close to him, deepening it. 

Donny is a passionate kisser and never passes up a chance to kiss you hello or goodbye or goodnight. He also likes to kiss you to assert his dominance over other men. 

L = Love (Who said I love you first?)

He looooooves going picknicking with you. Just chilling out in the park or in the woods, enjoying some good food and each other's company. It was one of the first dates you went on and he will never forget the way you looked in your navy coloured dress, smiling up at him. It was the moment he realised he would never let you go. That he loves you to bits. It took him another week or so to casually tell you this when going to bed. As if it weren't anything significant or interesting. 

M=Mad (Do you often disagree? What happens if you do?)

You do tend to bicker about the stupidest things. But it's a nice way of bickering. It's usually playful and you just try to convince one another. If you do actually get in a fight, Donny gets uncharacteristically quiet. To be honest, it kind of scares you, even though he would never do anything to hurt you. After you've cooled off he comes up to you to make up. 

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

Loud chewing, rude people, people that clip their nails in public, and socks that get lost in the laundry. WHERE DO THEY GO??? 

O = Orange (which color reminds him of you?)

This is so utterly fucking cheesy, but the colour that reminds him most of you is red. It is the colour of love. Donny always has been and will be a sucker for cheesy things. He also likes to ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven. Get matching coffee cups. 

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

He's quite protective of his kids, especially of his baby girl. Real papa Bear material. I pity the boy that wants to date his daughter…. He can be tough at times, especially when they did something he really dislikes like being disrespectful or lying. He would never hurt his kids but he would ground them in a heartbeat. That said, he would do anything for his kids as he´d do for you. 

Q = Queasy (How they handle being sick or you being sick)

When you get sick, he's such a sweetheart. He fluffs your pillow, gets you medicine and attempts to make you soup to help you feel better (he can't cook to save his life, so you can imagine how well that went). You often tell him you can actually get around and so some chores with a bit of a temperature or a simple stomach ache. He won't have any of that though. 

Donny doesn't get sick often, but when he does he is such a man about it. 

R = Rainy Day (what does he like to do with you on rainy days?) Stay in. Get cozy. Play games. Have friends over. Have some drinks.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail) Your face when you have to get out of bed in the morning: a slightly grumpy, sleepy bed head looking up at him. You being overly excited about a pet or animal. You surprising him with a hug.

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

Donny works quite a lot and he works hard. He takes care of his family and likes to spend a good amount of time with them (he takes you with him of course ). You don't have a lot of alone time. However, as soon as he comes home from work he quickly makes his way to you to sweep you up in his arms and shows you how much he missed you during the day. He then spends the next half hour following you around in the kitchen.  

U = Unencumbered (what helps him relax?) Doing sports (have you seen him?), having fun with friends, he also finds watching you cook or bake (and eatin it afterwards) very relaxing and mostly, actually, having sex. 

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

He keeps a photograph of you with him wherever he goes. It's his lucky charm. You two also keep a small photo album with photos of the most important moments. This includes some pictures of him and the guys, pictures of your wedding day and pictures of your family and kids. 

W = Wedding (What is your wedding like?)

It's a given that Donny likes to joke around and pull crazy shit. Not on his wedding day he doesn't. He is a nervous wreck when getting ready. He takes everything going well very seriously. What will you look like? Will you have gotten cold feet at the thought of spending your entire life with his crazy, annoying ass. Are they stupid and ungrounded thoughts? 100 percent. Do they successfully drive him nuts and jittery? Definitely. And definitely a couple sips of Aldo´s bourbon worthy. The wedding itself was pretty simple. The people you loved were there. Traditions were honored and the food was good. Donny couldn't hold back the tiny tear that slipped down his cheek when he saw you in your dress.  

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?) Once upon a time when you were dating he decided to steal your bathrobe to open the door for the delivery guy and he kind of never stopped stealing your bathrobe. Have in mind your bathrobe is really big (for you) and pink. And Fluffy. And Donny is a tall man so it comes up to just about the middle of his hairy thigh. It's hilarious that you actually had to buy yourself a new one.

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, sent, word anything)

This isn't really a hard one honestly. The thing he hates most in this world are nazis and bigots alike. It makes his blood boil like nothing else. 

Other things he hates are: people that are unnecessarily rude or disrespectful, wet socks, and smelly cheeses. 

Z = Zebra (if he wanted a pet, what would he get?)

A dog. He thinks they´re great companions, and you can get crazy with them. Also, he wants a big dog. He doesn't get along with cats at all. Wouldn't know how to act around them. He always gets scratched.

[sword-brainrot]

Oh, um! May I request a matchup? I know these can be draining to do so feel free to skip me if you want!!

So, um hi! Im a 19 yo translation student! Everyone uses she/her when talking to me, but you can use whatever you like, I dont mind pronouns! Im really shy and kinda anxious when talking to people, but I'm completely see-through ;; cant tell a lie to save my life haha Im super curious abt practically anything and I love to learn new things! When I have to get work done, I make sure it looks shiny and perfect! (even tough I procastinate on it until there's almost no time left,,,,) I prefer indoors because loud sounds make me somewhat panicky??;;;; and in my free time I play games, learn useless stuff and sleep... y'know, the usual ^^;

As for what I'd like in a parter.... I want someone who cares about me ;; I know it may be a bit too much but I guess I can dream right? :') As for myself,,,, idk id be a completely mess ;; Im good at listening I think! but when it comes to affection Im at a loss and I just get embarrassed,,,, I blush at everything and when Im put in a spot I try to laugh it off ;;

Um, also... Im sure you already noticed but I have some self issues so you may want to take this into consideration???? maybe???? Im sorry I had to bring this up;;; i tought it could help you get a better picture of myself haha???? uuu;; (um also i apologize for this huge wall of text, i know its all over the place.... dont know how to organize it;;;;)

Oh, and I don't care about sword types nor I have a preference! I love all the slashy boys equally ♡

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it 💖💖

Oh I would never skip your request! If I ever get drained, I would take a small break. I wanna do your requests dear! Feel free to request as much as you want, I have a blast whenever I can write and make someone smile because of it. Don't worry about bothering me or anything, seeing requests always makes me smile and excited to write 💖🌺

I Match You With...

🌸 Ishikirimaru 🌸

♡  Ishikirimaru is a very calm and friendly guy, he would understand very well how scary social interaction can be for some people. He would never push you too far and make sure he knows your limits. He would offer you to have tea with him or help him clean just so you both can bond together and let you know what he does want to be around you. He doesn't mind if you don't talk much because you are shy! Ishikirimaru doesn't talk too much in general but doesn't mind starting the conversation and having a short discussion about things that may interest you or your thoughts on things.

♡  Don't worry about ever making him angry or annoyed, it is very hard to do that. He is very easy going and cares a lot about other people. The only way he would ever get actually angry at you is if you say something insensitive about how people's lives in war don't matter or something along those lines. He was a sword kept in a temple that often got prayed to for healing the warriors who came back from battle with deadly wounds. That is the only thing that would actually get under his skin. He cares a lot about the people around him and even the people he doesn't know, he prays for all of their well beings. Even yours. He cares about you a lot as well and will tell you often that you matter to everyone. He is aware that you would never say something to upset him on purpose. As long as the two of you talk it out and apologize to each other, he will forget it even happened. He wouldn't let one slip of the tongue to ruin the relationship.

♡  He tries hard to make sure he never upsets anyone and thinks over his words carefully, but even he makes mistakes and words don't come out how they planned. He will make the most effort to apologize and make sure his words didn't hurt you badly. If they did, he would spend hours on end talking it out and making sure you know that he would never mean anything that would hurt you. He cares about you a lot and your smile is his favorite.

♡  Ishikirimaru might be a little pushy when you talk badly about yourself. He loves everything about you and it hurts him when you think you are lesser than everyone. He will often try to stop you before you go too far with talking down upon yourself and give you plenty of compliments, even if they embarrass you. He wants you to know that you are deserving of love and that you are much better than you give yourself credit for. You have your own talents and people cherish you for being you. They want you in their life because you are you.

♡  "Aruji, I haven't been human long but I understand that being human is a complicated task. The mind can be a cruel one and the deadliest thing to our souls. My words may not mean much but please trust me when I say that you like you for you. You will see things you do not like about yourself because you are stuck with yourself constantly so you will pick up things that others will not. We are all hard on ourselves. Life is even worse on us. So take a deep breath and let yourself receive a little kindness. You deserve it. You give out so much to everyone so you need to know that it is okay to love things about yourself and be proud of who you are. You will make mistakes and not everyone will be your friend but that is okay, because you are human and you have your own life. Surround yourself with people that will love and appreciate you for who you are now. I love and appreciate you for who you are, aruji. So.. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? It hurts my fragile heart when I see you beat yourself up for small mistakes. It's okay to stumble at times, just get up again... okay? I'll lend you my hand as well."

♡  As you can tell, Ishikirimaru is a very good listener. His whole life as a sword was to listen to those of the pained and give guidance. Even if he couldn't exactly do that in his sword form, he can do that now! He will listen to everything you have to say. Don't be shy to ramble to him. He will give you a happy smile as he listens. Tell him about the things that make you happy, what make you angry, what makes you laugh, and what makes you sad. Ishikirimaru will be right by your side, offering tea and a shoulder if you need it. You aren't alone and he will make sure you know that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.

♡  Just as how you are see through and can't lie, Ishikirimaru has a similar issue. He has a very hard time ever lying and chooses to never lie. The only time he will lie is if it is to protect others. He will often put himself in the painful position in missions so others don't have to face the hardship. He tries to not do it often because he knows that people care about him and he doesn't have to face things alone, but he would rather not see anyone sad if he can help it!

♡  He finds your embarrassed face the cutest thing in the world. Don't be scared to tell him to stop if the compliments become too much for you to handle! He will laugh it off and apologize for going too far with his comments. As stated above, he doesn't lie. So just know that every compliment he gives you is a very sincere comment that he means with his whole heart. Ishikirimaru doesn't need much affection, as long as you show that you simply care about him, he is happy. He would like to hold your hand from time to time but otherwise, he wouldn't force you to do anything you don't wish to do. Go at your own pace in the relationship, he won't rush you!

♡  Ishikirimaru will tell you anything you wish to learn! He might not have a library of knowledge of the past due to being stuck in a shrine for most of his life but he had also studied and learned about the history he came from. If you take an interest in his prayers and religion, he would gladly tell you all the tales he is aware of and teach you the cleansing sermon he often does to give positive spiritual energy. It is something that brings him peace of mind and makes him happy to talk about, so if you are willing to learn about what makes him who he is today and what makes him happy, he would be overjoyed to share all his knowledge to you.

♡  He understands very well the appeal of getting work done to the best of your ability and making it look the best you can. He wouldn't label himself a perfectionist but he does want to do the best he can. Often with cleaning. You will often see him stuck in a room all day because he wants to make sure it is spotless before he comes out and continues work else where. Though... by the time he is done... It is dinner time. Perhaps the two of you could work together and get work done to the point you are both happy with it.

♡  Ishikirimaru is also someone who happens to stay inside for the most part. The only time he goes outside would be to enjoy tea in the sun or if he has to work the field/horse keeping. Ishikirimaru is a very soft spoken and gentle man so you don't have to worry about him every raising his voice and scaring you. If there is ever a loud noise, whether it is other swords or a storm outside, he will gently hold your hand and try to calm you down. He will assure you that it's okay to not like loud noises but he will make sure that nothing hurts you. He will even try to lead you away to somewhere that may be a little more quiet. Giving you a distraction to get your mind off the noise. He wants nothing more than you to feel comfortable and safe.

♡  Depending on the game, he may want to play with you! He tends to like card games even though he is very easy to read and often loses. He tends to laugh about it after when he realizes that he was accidentally showing his hand every time he set down his cards to get a sip of tea. If it's video games, he would prefer to just watch you play and talk to you while you enjoy the game. He isn't the biggest fan but still enjoys to watch! Ishikirimaru is a pretty good teacher! So if you wish to study with him, he would be flattered that you wished to study with him out of everyone. He is very understanding that some material is hard to memorize out of no where. He would just softly correct you and tell you to work on it a little more. He rewards you with sweets every time you do really well on any test he gives you to test how much you remember.

♡  Ishikirimaru would be the most understanding and gentle partner. He wants nothing more than you being comfortable and happy. He would work hard on you slowly forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and love yourself a little more. He would never give up on you and be there if you ever needed.

[ckret2]

first of all - i really love your characterization of alastor! i saw ur post on 'how alastor would react to a buzzfeed unsolved-type video on his crimes' a while ago and id like to ask - do you think he was ever considered as a suspect? would there even be any real suspects? thank you for all ur writing and ideas :D

tl;dr, my personal headcanon is that he was never considered as a suspect, but have an extremely detailed explanation!

So, until we learn more from canon, here's my overall headcanon of Alastor as a serial killer. Read more (if tumblr cooperates) for a long headcanon post and for brief mentions of the gory things serial killers do.

- His preferred target was hunters and his weapon of choice was a standard hunting rifle. This means that, for a while, individual killings could be brushed off as "some irresponsible hunter accidentally shot another hunter, and either it was a wild shot and the shooter never saw where the bullet went, or he realized he'd accidentally shot somebody and fled like a coward." Unlike more obvious serial killer strategies—example, the Axeman of New Orleans' "people found axed to death inside their own homes" deal—it would take a while for Alastor's killings to be recognized as deliberate murder probably committed by one person.

- Most serial killers have a pretty small hunting ground, somewhere near where they live that's familiar/comfortable to them, and they don't stray far outside it. Compared to the Axeman again—the Axeman primarily attacked people in Italian-American immigrant communities in New Orleans, which made it easy to identify a pattern after only a few attacks. Since the Axeman was never identified, there's no way for us to know whether he lived in the neighborhoods where he killed—but like, he probably wasn't driving in from Houston.

Alastor, on the other hand, broke that pattern by killing at various hunting grounds around Louisiana—and maybe even neighboring states, I haven't decided yet—so it was harder to pinpoint where the killer lived and start searching that area for suspects.

- Many serial killers are identified by the rituals they tend to perform with their victims. Example: Jack the Ripper, who liked to disembowel his victims in a way that made police think he had experience as a surgeon. Desecrating/mutilating bodies in consistent ways is common, as are particular/identifiable body disposal methods. These rituals are typically things that have nothing to do with committing the murder itself, which means the killer just did them for fun. Alastor didn't have these. Shooting was where it started and ended for him. No undressing the body, no mutilating it, no moving it, no stealing trophies—he left them as they fell, sometimes leaving the scene before his victim was dead.

Oftentimes serial killers kill to try to enact some fantasy, and often their kills get more elaborate over time as they find that whatever high they're trying to get from their kill doesn't last. Alastor's fantasies revolved around hunting/killing his equals like game animals—hence his choice of victim, weapon, and crime scene. So I think Alastor's kills would have gotten more elaborate (and thus easier to identify) over time—starting with field dressing the corpse as if it was a deer, and eventually progressing to taking home cuts of "meat" from the victims to eat. (In a recent stream, it was revealed that Alastor wasn't a cannibal while he was alive, only after death; so I've been headcanoning him as having fantasized about cannibalism while he was a serial killer but never having worked up the nerve to perform it.) But Alastor died before he got that far, so his crime scenes were fairly nondescript until his death.

- Because he was killing on hunting grounds, the areas were sparsely populated, which means fewer potential witnesses would ever see him. And if they did, because of how far he was from home, they probably wouldn't recognize him and could only include a vague physical description of him in their list of all the strangers they saw in the area that day.

- Because he'd just kill someone and leave the body there in the woods, it would often be several days before the corpse was found—depending on how long, it might be difficult to identify how long it'd been dead. (Especially if the victim had been camping out there several days so family members couldn't just say "yeah he went hunting on Tuesday and didn't come back," a camping trip means a window of several days the murder could occur.) Oftentimes he'd be back home several days before the murder was discovered and reported, making it even harder to track down who'd been in the area at the time.

- Alastor was killing complete strangers—people he'd never met before, didn't know the names of, didn't even know what towns they were from—which would make it impossible for anyone to find the killer by cross-referencing the victims' acquaintances.

- From early on he started prioritizing coming up with alibis that would put him away from the scene of the crime; because people would rightly become suspicious if they realized that every time he talked about going on a hunting trip and gee wiz he didn't get any game how sad, there was a mention in the papers of another hunter being shot. (Although originally, he started making up cover stories not to hide his crimes but to comfort his mother. "Yes Ma, I know you're worried about all the hunters getting shot lately. No Ma, I'm not going on a hunting trip this weekend, I'm uhhh going to visit Pa's family.")

Initially his cover stories were as simple as just "don't tell people I'm going hunting this weekend." Sometimes he'd make up a story about what he did yesterday in town so that when another kill hit the papers nobody would even think to wonder whether Alastor had been there at the time.

As he got deeper into his murder hobby, sometimes he'd prerecord a radio show and wheedle someone at the studio into playing it for him at his usual hour—which, in the early days of broadcasting, was actually illegal. Radio stations were under an obligation to primarily broadcast live content—otherwise, the radio station wasn't providing a service you couldn't get from a phonograph —with only a few exceptions like playing a rerun of a special broadcast a few days later for people who missed it the first time. As a daily radio host, Alastor's programming would be the sort least likely to be permitted one of those exceptions. Which meant he was gonna get the station in a bit of trouble if anyone outside the couple of sympathetic producers who let him do this found out that he was occasionally broadcasting prerecorded segments; but it also meant that nobody would ever imagine that the guy on the air at 9 am was halfway across the state at 10 am when another hunter was shot.

All these cover stories woulda fallen apart pretty quickly if somebody ever looked into them—but since he never made it onto anybody's list of suspects, nobody ever came around the station to ask where was Alastor on the morning of Monday the 14th, was he really here broadcasting?

- I also headcanon that Alastor started making deals with demons long before he died—I mean, it's not like he arrived in Hell instantly knowing how to make predatory soul bargains without prior practice, right?—so he was probably using them to help cover his trail. Things like "help me not get caught for this murder, and in exchange the murder victim's soul is yours."

So! That's how he killed, and how he avoided being identified as a suspect.

It probably woulda happened eventually. He'd gradually started killing more often, partially because he increasingly craved that violent fix (particularly because he never quite perfected it to his satisfaction, it never quite fully scratched his itch), and partially because he had more demons to pay off with blood; and authorities and hunters in Louisiana were getting wise to the threat in their midst, trying to increase monitoring of people moving in and out of hunting sites, and watching each other more warily if they crossed paths in the woods, thus increasing his chances of witnesses or even of being caught in the act.

But he got shot.

While Alastor was stalking one of his soon-to-be victims, the almost-victim spotted Alastor, mistook him for a deer, and set his dog on him. (Or maybe he shot first and then the dog went charging in, haven't decided yet.) When he realized that this wasn't a deer but An Actual Human Person And Fellow Hunter who was now mangled and bleeding to death, he panicked, his brain went "DESTROY THE WITNESS," and he shot Alastor point blank, and then he panicked again. He was caught trying to hide the body.

There were a few farfetched suspects investigated as potentially being the serial killer based on circumstantial evidence, but to this day the one person repeatedly identified as the most probable suspect is, ironically, the man who killed the real serial killer—because after he was arrested, the killings stopped. He was found not guilty for bullshit reasons (it was a fraught case) but even when the killings didn't resume, the believers think it's because he got spooked after nearly being convicted and decided to stop murdering.

Which also means, in a lot of cold case documentaries/books about the serial killer, Alastor himself is identified as the serial killer's probable last victim—which he finds hysterical.

[cyarskaren52]

Fq Florida! Will never go there not even for vacation. I’ll take two more months of cold Michigan winter before I step my pinky toe in Florida that gun shaped state has evil azz hews and clears who wants my black behind dead!

HOMELATESTCULTUREENTERTAINMENTBEAUTY/STYLEAWARDS SEASON 2023

RACE MATTERS

Woman in Fla Was Fatally Shot by Her Neighbor, But the Shooter Walked Free. Why?

This will anger you: Ajike “AJ” Owens was shot and killed by her neighbor who was allegedly yelling racial slurs at her and threatened her children.

By

Kalyn Womack

Published3 hours ago

Comments (17)

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How does a woman get shot and killed and her shooter is still on the loose? Residents of Ocala, Florida are asking the same question in the killing of a Black woman who was gunned down by her neighbor Friday. According to NBC News, the incident was the result of an ongoing feud.

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Ajike “AJ” Owens’ children were playing in a fieldnear an apartment complex when suddenly, a white woman came from the area and began yelling racial slurs at them, according to an account from attorney Benjamin Crump. One of the children accidentally left behind their iPad which the woman seized. When the child went to retrieve it, the woman allegedly threw the device both hitting the boy and cracking the screen. The woman also allegedly threw a pair of roller skates at the children as well. 

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Naturally, the children went back home to tell their mother what happened. Owens then walked over to the neighbor’s door to speak to her about the incident but things took a fatal turn.

“She knocked on the door, and at that point, the woman allegedly shot through the door, hitting AJ, who later died from her injuries,” Crump said in the statement.

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Read more from NBC News:

At a news conference Monday, Marion County Sheriff Billy Woods did not confirm or reject Crump’s account, telling reporters he was not “going to stand here and tell you what they’re putting out there is inaccurate. It’s just I don’t know yet.” Here’s what the sheriff said he does know: - There had been a long-standing “neighborhood feud” between the shooter and Owens about her children. - The children may have been hit by an unspecified object. “Was something thrown at them? Yes, but not directly at them of what we’re being told now,” Woods said. “It just unfortunately may have hit them.” He added: “The children are a big part of answering a lot our questions.” - When Owens came to the shooter’s door, there was a heated exchange. Owens was shot through the door. - At least two of Owens’ four children may have witnessed the shooting, which occurred about 9 p.m.

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Because Florida is a good ol’ “stand your ground” state, law enforcement must determine whether Owens posed an imminent threat or was simply acting as a mother trying to get to the bottom of an attack on her children. While they dilly dally on that decision, they are not authorized to make an arrest, the Sheriff Woods said. 

Well... they made an arrest when Andrew Lester shot 16-year-old Ralph Yarl from behind his front door - the same manner Owens was shot - despite Lester’s self-defense claim that he was frightened by the teen. 

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“A closed, locked door. The door never opened. My daughter, my grandchildren’s mother, was shot and killed with her 9-year-old son standing next to her. She had no weapon. She posed no imminent threat to anyone,” Owens’ mother, Pamela Dias, said via NBC. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0221GBwwquPMbu6X7jpLb1TBsK8dyzwxzempQ4thD1EMkKSwkpXspW6GDJ87tdeRzGl&id=26423400230&mibextid=ncKXMA

Sent from my iPhone

[thoughtfulnerdcycle]

all the even numbers (for the send in numbers to get an answer thingy) >:D

gonna be a long one :D

2: Age

19, born in 2001 lol

4: 3 things I love

music

my friends

animals

6: 4 turns off

(these are just a preference and only count for people i could be romantically attracted to u can have these things and we can still be friends)

dirty finger nails/uncared nails/hands

dreadlocks

crooked teeth

just personal preference not attacking anyone <3

8: Sexual orientation

lesbian

10: How tall am I

im around 5“3 or 161cm

12: What time were I born

around 8.30pm!

14: Do I have a crush

kinda recovering from a crush rn

16: Favorite place

my house if i’m alone and outside if i’m not alone

18: Do I use sarcasm

i think i try to but probably fail miserably

20: First thing I notice in new person

hands

eyes

lips

22: Eye color

brown :(

24: Favorite style of clothing

(korean) streetwear, or dark academia no in between

26: there’s no 26 lmao :D

🪨

28: Favorite movie

i love shrek lol and basketball diaries, very basic but i also like pulp fiction

30: Favorite band

queen, bon jovi, pink floyd, arctic monkeys, one ok rock, oisicle melonpan

32: Someone I love

my newest friend - she’s a lovely person and i alr feel like i’ve known her for years <3

34: My relationship with my parents

sometimes it’s pretty good but there’s no trust

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

i want tattoos don’t have any yet

i have s helix on my left ear and two ear lobes, two on my right ear and i used to have a nose piercing on the right side

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

i was 13 and not like other girls

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not really :( i want one

42: When did I last hold hands?

i don’t remember

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

not my friends bc they’re drunk too

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

my mom and my stepfather, idk where my father is

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

my best friend - i love him so much and he always listens

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

unless a quick hug counts idk if it counts then on thursday

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i trusted my ex best friend even tho i knew i shouldn’t

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

this is such a hard question tbh i can’t decide id love to meet all the famous people who died like Freddie Mercury or Kurt Cobain maybe Marilyn Monroe or just my soulmate lol

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can tie a knot with my tongue?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

i wish i was confident enough to be in front of it but i’m good behind lol

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i usually hate talking loudly at home as i’m scared my parents could hear so neither texting is best

64: Do I believe in magic?

dunno

66: What’s the weather like right now?

warm with a harsh find

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

does my chronic illness count lol

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

no

74: Favorite animal?

cats for pets and ducks for non domestic animals

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

cool people don’t use last names like zendaya

78: How can you win my heart?

give me attention and be as passionate as me (or just try) for my hyperfixations lol

80: What is my favorite word?

i love handlettering the word moist, girls, history and love

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

love is love

black lives matter

stop racism against asian people

stop the hate

but would probably be to nervous to talk ingrown of ppl i almost lost consciousness when i had to present smth in class

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation would’ve neat

86: What is my current desktop picture?

leafs lol

88: Bought condoms?

for a friend that had a hook up later that das but didn’t have enough time to get them lol

90: Failed a class?

yes but on purpose

92: Kissed a girl?

yes

94: Had a job?

kinda?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i don’t remember actively bullying anyone bc i always was against that but you never know if your words were perceived the way u wanted

98: Played on a sports team?

no

100: Did drugs?

only weed

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

104: Been overweight?

yes

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

does netflix count if yes then yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yes lol

112: Broken a bone?

no

114: Been to prom?

no

116: Fly by helicopter?

no

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

120: Wore make up?

pretty much everyday

122: Had oral sex?

no

124: Voted in a presidential election?

no

126: Had a surgery?

had 1 wisdom tooth removed haha

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

yes

130: Been fishing?

no

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes :(

134: What do I want for birthday?

i’ve been saving up for an ipad past few months and i got almost half so maybe the other half of the money or smth idk i don’t do birthdays :D

[nonbinaryparrish]

‘plant care for absolute dummies’ - a youtube pynch au 🌿

gansey + blue are going away on one of their hippie holidays to the middle of nowhere again and they’ve asked ronan if he’ll look after their copious collection of plants. now, ronan can take care of animals - pets, farm animals, strays on the side of the road that he carefully scoops up and nurses back to health in his front room? easy. but plants - who make no sign to indicate that ronan is accidentally killing them before it’s too late? a fucking nightmare. 

and yet, a few days later, ronan finds himself unlocking the door to blue + gansey’s apartment and finds a page long list of detailed instructions for each plant they own. and gansey, the pretentious asshole that he is, has listed them all by their latin names and provided no photos. naturally, ronan panics. then he turns to google (he’s too proud to text or, god forbid, call blue + gansey just yet). the google search ‘how not to kill plant’ yields a youtube video: “plant care for absolute dummies - part one: the basics” by ‘parrishsplants’. ronan smirks at the title - ‘absolute dummy’ is the exact box ronan would put himself into in this situation - and clicks play.

(this totally got away from me, so read more under the cut!)

the man that appears on ronan’s screen is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. there’s something about his face - the wide, deep set eyes, the clever, quirking mouth and the soft waves of his dusty coloured hair - it makes ronan feel like he’s looking at a face reflected in a pool of water. there’s something liquid and unusual about him, and it makes ronan’s mouth go dry.

the man that appears on ronan’s screen is also an asshole. not maliciously so, but he’s dry and sarcastic in a way that ronan instantly takes a liking to - he speaks like he’s perpetually a second away from rolling his eyes, and his thick southern accent drawls in the best fucking way. but. there’s also something gentle to him -  the way his long fingers gently brush the leaves of his plants, and the small sweet smile on his face when he finally says, at the end of the video, “as an old friend once told me: it’s not that hard if you just believe in yourself.”

the video ends, and ronan instantly goes onto the man’s channel - there are hundreds of videos. ronan feels gluttonous as he scrolls the choices; videos on specific plants, videos on the does-and-don’ts of terrariums, and rarely (incredibly rarely) there are personal videos. videos about training to be a paediatrician, videos he made with other youtubers, and a couple hippier, stranger videos about tarot cards and psychic stuff that ronan isn’t sure he believes, but even those reveal very little about him. ronan learns his name is adam, he’s from virginia, and he went to harvard medical school. there’s even a degree hung up on his wall behind him in his earlier videos - when it was just adam with his crappy phone camera - to prove it.

adam, it turns out, has a video pertaining to every one of gansey and blue’s stupid plants, which takes a lot of googling of latin names and perusing adam’s videos to figure out. he watches each one - they go into much further detail than gansey’s notes, and fill in vital gaps (why didn’t gansey note that the big bowl of moss could strictly never be put in direct sunlight?? it was like he wanted ronan to accidentally butcher his and blue’s plant-babies). 

with the help of adam’s videos (and not at all thanks to gansey’s crappy notes), blue and gansey return to find all of their plants not only alive, but thriving. ronan smiles smugly as blue exclaims that her cactus’ flowers have budded again, and he simply shrugs innocently when gansey asks how he managed it.

that evening, ronan goes home and wipes the proverbial dust off his twitter account. he’s used it exactly once to tweet ‘got twitter so gansey will shut the fuck up’, and so it takes him about three minutes to find adam’s twitter and to figure out how to direct message him (”you mean ‘DM’, you old man” matthew would kindly tell him). 

‘hey’, ronan types, and instantly cringes. he deletes it, then retypes it. ‘i had to look after my friend’s plants and i’m shit with them, but your videos were really helpful. thanks’ his thumbs hover over the keys, debating if he should add ‘also you look like all my most peaceful dreams were turned into a single person and i want to rub lotion into your dry ass hands and feed you fruit’. 

he decidedly does not type all of that, and quickly hits ‘send’ before he can weasel out of it. he then stuffs his phone at the bottom of his underwear drawer and hides his head under his pillow.

an hour later, his phone buzzes. ronan ignores it. it buzzes again, and then again. ronan reluctantly peeks at it - it’s from adam.

ronan snatches the phone out of his underwear drawer and flops onto the bed. not caring if he looks desperate, he opens adam’s messages immediately:

‘I’m glad they were helpful :-)).  Hopefully this has convinced you that you can just about manage to keep a cactus alive? (That’s the first thing I managed not to kill, haha.)’

ronan smiles at the ridiculous formality of adam’s texting style.

‘somehow,’ he texts back. ‘i struggle to imagine uve ever killed a plant’

‘Haha, nooo.’ the response is surprisingly quick. ‘A friend of mine got me to start because she said it would be good for me to have ‘company’.  She told me that plants are good listeners as long as you listen to them too. I realise how weird that sounds, but I stopped accidentally killing all the succulents she gave me once I just took the time to sit down with the plants.  Now I’m kind of obsessed, hah. I guess she was right - I needed company. Sorry, that was way too much information.’

ronan’s grinning from ear to ear like a loon. he texts back, and adam responds, and then ronan texts him again - and suddenly it’s 1am.

‘shit i shouldnt keep u up’ ronan texts. he’s sure adam probably has to be up at some ungodly hour for his training.

‘Oh, I didn’t even realise the time.  If I’m super tired tomorrow I’m blaming you, asshole. (I’m kidding.) I really liked talking with you, Ronan. If this isn’t overstepping, I’d love to talk again? I really do have to go to sleep now, though :-(.’

ronan bites his lip, his heart racing. ‘id like that too, plant boy.’

‘Ok, Ronan :-). And I’m totally going to find a demeaning and overly simplistic nickname to give you in return... Just you wait. Goodnight :-))).’

ronan sends adam a goodnight text, grins, and rolls over to go to sleep.

[aion-rsa]

Ghost Adventures Checks into the Cecil Hotel: Zak Bagans on Investigating the Crime Landmark

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In Stephen King’s novel The Shining, the Overlook Hotel is an expansive structure with a dark past, located in the remote Rocky Mountains. Despite its opulent beginnings, the hotel becomes a place where brutal murders occur, madness sets in, ghosts lurk, and evil itself is a permanent occupant.

Relocate King’s Overlook to Downtown Los Angeles’ Skid Row, and you have its closest real-world equivalent: the Cecil Hotel. The hotel’s checkered history, and lore involving curses and ghosts, has made it a dark tourism landmark situated at the crossroads of true crime and paranormal fascination. But despite lots of interest on the internet, the Cecil, since rebranded as Stay on Main Hotel, has never officially permitted cameras inside for a paranormal investigation.

Until now. Enter Zak Bagans.

(Disclaimer: I have previously worked with Zak Bagans on television shows, and currently appear as an expert on the Travel Channel series Paranormal Caught on Camera.)

Executive producer and star of Ghost Adventures, the long-running paranormal reality series on Travel Channel, Bagans leads his team of investigators on an exploration of a location he calls “spectacularly frightening” in Ghost Adventures: Cecil Hotel, a two-hour special streaming exclusively on the new Discovery+ service.

For fans of the ghost-TV genre, Ghost Adventures: Cecil Hotel boasts evidence of scratches, disembodied voices, light anomalies, a faucet seemingly turned on by an invisible force, and more. But regardless of one’s personal beliefs about the unexplained, the special lives up to its hype of a “first time ever” examination of the infamous hotel.

Bagans tells Den of Geek the special is also a culmination of a decade-long pursuit that began “before Elisa even died.”

The “Elisa” that Bagans refers to is Elisa Lam, a 21-year-old Canadian student with a kind, sarcastic sense of humor who loved fashion and Harry Potter; she frequently blogged observations about guys she liked, figuring out a place in the world, as well as her own insecurities and mental health struggles. Lam was a daughter and sister, and a real person on a journey of self-discovery before her life ended too soon, and she made the Cecil internet famous. 

While on a solo trip to California in 2013, she went missing and died while staying at the hotel. An elevator surveillance video showed the young woman acting erratically as she pushed buttons, paced in and out of the elevator, and even appeared to be hiding from someone. Her body was discovered in a rooftop water tank weeks after she disappeared. Despite her death being ruled accidental, with her bipolar disorder deemed a contributing factor, questions remained as to how Lam could have gained access to the roof or closed the lid to the tank from within.

But before that two-and-half minute viral video made Lam a popular topic for podcasts — and before American Horror Story: Hotel drew inspiration from the landmark’s past — the Cecil’s reputation was more tied to tragedy than travel despite its beginnings in 1924 as an LA destination, complete with a grandiose lobby.

Multiple suicides took place at the Cecil as well as infanticide and the unsolved murder of Goldie Osgood in 1964. Elizabeth Short, aka the Black Dahlia, was reportedly seen in the hotel bar in the days leading up to her murder in 1947, and two serial killers are known to have stayed there – including Richard Ramirez, who committed a murder spree in the 1980s, and the investigation of whom is the focus of the Netflix documentary series Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer.

“I knew the history of Richard Ramirez there, and the deaths, and knew it was a big creepy building,” Bagans says.

Although prior attempts to gain permission to film there had been rejected, he thinks maybe the COVID-19 pandemic and ensuing shutdowns convinced the hotel’s owners to allow it because of the location fee paid by production. “Or maybe they had things happening to themselves and had enough of it,” Bagans says.

Either way, Cecil fits neatly into Bagans’ pursuits, and it comes as no surprise that the hotel has long been on his bucket list. He has a fascination with the darker sides of this world — as well as the next. When not investigating the paranormal on television, he collects and exhibits haunted dolls and possessed possessions, along with “murderabilia” from serial killers, such as drawings by Ramirez.

“I collect his things. I have his death row TV, his sketches, his clothing,” says Bagans before adding, “I study these people.” Bagans says he even visited the Concordia cemetery in El Paso, Texas, where Ramirez “got started” and was said to practice satanic rituals.

As a result, Bagans believes that Ramirez was engaged in a “top-tier possession” with the horrors he was committing ultimately in the devil’s name. Bagans doesn’t give a pass to the murderer but does theorize that the serial killer was generating more negative energy and entities at the hotel.

Saying he believes the Cecil is “saturated with dark energies,” he thinks Ramirez’s satanic rituals added an evil residue to the building. Interestingly, however, Bagans also thinks there’s something supernatural about the grounds upon which the building stands.

Though he references The Shining, he says he also thinks of the Cecil like the vampire-infested strip club in From Dusk Till Dawn. In the final shot of the film, it’s revealed the club sits atop an Aztec temple. Bagans equates the hotel to this, saying it’s part of some ancient “machine.”

“I’ve been to a lot of places throughout the world, but when you walk through the doors of the Cecil Hotel, you know there are other doorways to other worlds,” he says. “If we were to see deeper dimensionally, you would see all these other doors and rooms, and I believe it goes way down into the earth and draws a lot of energy through the earth. It is then magnified by the dark energy and criminal activity of Skid Row, and amplified by the rituals [serial killer] Jack Unterweger and Richard Ramirez did.”

For the Discovery+ special, Bagans says he wanted to be delicate when discussing the circumstances of Lam’s death. He references the hotel’s history of suicide, and murder attributed to temporary insanity, and believes malevolent energies fed off her mental illness and influenced her.

It is admittedly a problematic theory for skeptics and non-believers of the paranormal, but Bagans — like many with lingering questions about Lam’s strange death — looks to her past behavior as telling. Lam had previously disappeared and required treatment but wasn’t known to have suicidal ideations. There were no unusual drugs detected in her system and the initial cause of death was deemed inconclusive.

“It didn’t make sense she was having a manic episode,” he says. “From my research, no one was able to say she had had a manic episode this bad before. If she was having an episode and acting that bad, how could she have taken such a calculated journey to end up in that water tank under that manic sense?”

While Bagans strives not to diminish Lam’s death, he says, “that building has the power to mess with your mind.” During the investigation he says teammate Aaron Goodwin was overcome with feelings of rage, and that his interviewees, including a crime scene photographer, were so disturbed they often needed to leave the hotel.

“You don’t know what you’re feeling there. There’s too many spirits, too much energy.”

Indeed, during the course of the special, the Ghost Adventures crew believe they encounter several spirits, including those of Lam, Ramirez, Osgood, and more. 

For Bagans, investigating Cecil, or even conducting interviews about it, only serves to charge the battery of this machine. But, quoting his favorite film, 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, he says, “there is much to be learned from beasts.” Bagans is seeking to understand the unknown despite the risks.

Whether or not viewers of Ghost Adventures: Cecil Hotel choose to share his paranormal theories about the building — or simply view it as a strange nexus of true crime — Bagans says there is no denying its inescapable reputation.

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“You can renovate it, change the name, or paint it a different color, but you’re never going to erase the darkness of the Cecil Hotel.”

Ghost Adventures: Cecil Hotel is available to stream on Discovery+.

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