#but then i decided the 'real' version is massively scaled up anyway. so no

[yourtrustyvault13canteen]

[tundrainafrica]

So, what's your overall opinion on snk 139?

Something doesn’t sit well with me with how people on Twitter are complaining about 139. Personally (Hange backstory aside), it was satisfying and despite what people are saying that it ‘romanticizes genocide,’ I do not agree. I wanted to give my thoughts on the chapter overall so I decided to write it out. 

In fact, I have another take on the overall message of the story and I hope people would give this a read. 

Disclaimer: Sure, I am defending the story line and the ‘message’ that’s coming with it but I in no way, agree with the genocide. But there is a more nuanced take on this which I think will help people understand that there is an underlying message to all this and I wanted to just talk about it below. 

Also, I found some cringe-worthy moments, I do not agree with Armin’s take on ‘Thank you for committing genocide for us’ one of the most horrible lines ever and I like to retcon that and never think about it again and I intend to read the Japanese raws though to check if it was just a translation error.

Maybe there is someone who already explored this but yeah, I’ll just write this in case no one has. 

For now though, allow me to give a more detailed analysis of the message over all so people stop hating on the ending for ‘romanticizing genocide’ because I think this is a low key pretty shallow take on the whole thing and I want to provide some information, some analysis and some comparison to make people realize, this isn’t as easy as people claim it to be. 

So let me start by mentioning something about the war with Marley to give people some perspective. 

Yams pretty much set up a trolley problem on a wider scale and Eren was the one with the lever. 

For people who don’t know what the trolley problem is, allow me to explain it below. 

Here is a sample I found online: (See this link for details) 

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to divert the trolley onto another track that only has one worker on it. If Adam diverts the trolley onto the other track, this one worker will die, but the other five workers will be saved.”

There are a lot of variations to this like: 

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is on a footbridge over the tracks, in between the approaching trolley and the five workers. Next to him on this footbridge is a stranger who happens to be very large. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to push this stranger off the footbridge and onto the tracks below where his large body will stop the trolley. The stranger will die if Adam does this, but the five workers will be saved”

And there are so many other variations of this.

The runaway trolley is going after your mom vs. five escaped prisoners. 

The runaway trolley is going after Pope Francis vs five serial killers. 

These trolley problems show the moral tension between two schools of thought which are in two different ends of the moral spectrum: ‘Utilitarian ethics and ‘deontological ethics’ which are both either way, inherently flawed yet not totally bad. Utilitarian ethics focuses on the net happiness of doing an action as a determinant of whether something is good or not. So a utilitarian will find a way to kill less people and will probably go for the action which will actively kill people if it means saving others. 

Deontological ethics emphasizes that the attention should be on the act in itself not the result is what makes something good. So ‘NOT pulling the lever’ even if it kills five people is the good thing to do.  

The thing is, the trolley problem is not completely applicable in real life because you cannot really predict what’s gonna happen. Utilitarian ethics assumes that you will know what will happen in the end. 

And here’s the thing, in the massive trolley problem created by Yams, Eren was the one with the lever. This was already proven in 138 and there were clear cut results. Eren knew what was going to happen. If he could, he would have just yeeted off to the woods with Mikasa and lived their remaining life together. 

If he didn’t do anything, Paradis would have been completely destroyed and lost in five years or so. Marley was gonna overrun Paradis, the other nations were going to destroy it, take their resources and massive genocide was going to happen anyway. 

Sure, Zeke and Hange offered their own suggestions to stop it. But as the founding titan, I’m sure Eren knew it probably wasn’t going to work. Because his daydream or the reality he saw where he lived in the woods with Mikasa implies  that someone else took over the peace negotiations and Eren said himself, they had at least five years of peace before Marley and the other countries invade. 

So with the results of both choices of the ‘trolley problem’ in Eren’s head at that time, he had a clear choice to make. Lemme quote the trolley problem again and apply it to his case. 

“A runaway trolley (aka the war) is heading down the tracks towards Paradis who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the people of his hometown  is to divert the trolley onto another track that has the rest of the world (or at least the victims) on it. If Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, the genoicde (the intended genocide), but Paradis will be saved.”

Okay fine, it looks like Eren did do something horrible because he pulled the lever and let more people die which is considered bad under the paradigm of both utilitarian and deontological ethics. 

But lemme show you another variation of the trolley problem which can put Eren’s choice into perspective:

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards your beloved family who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. You are standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of your loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated you and are ready to fight back and kill everyone you love if you let them live. What will you do?” 

This is difficult right? I don’t think it would be easy to make a choice to kill your family right? 

So Eren went for the easier choice...

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards Eren’s loved ones who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of his loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated him and are ready to fight back and kill everyone he loves if he lets them live.. So Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, this trolley kills the current victims of the rumbling, but his hometown Paradis will be saved.”

So, what fueled Eren’s choice? Can love fuel Eren’s choice? Is love a valid reason to push or to leave the lever?

I personally believe love is the answer. But here my explanation. 

Utilitarian and Deontological ethics are on two different sides of the ethical spectrum and at their extremes they are both inherently flawed paradigms to live by. Most people actually flit between the two when making decisions in morally gray situations which I believe is generally the most appropriate way to navigate ethics. 

Let me introduce one new ethical paradigm to this discussion. “Aristotle ethics’ or Nicomachean ethics which claims there is a golden mean for everything. So goodness is finding that golden mean. 

So I personally believe the most ethical and the best option is the finding that golden mean in between utilitarian ethics and deontological ethics, and what is the golden mean? 

It’s difficult to find but I always believed the golden mean for something as complex as morality is the ‘most loving option’ but believe me, the most ‘loving option’ is very difficult thing to find. 

I never believed that ‘true love’ was an emotion. I always believed love to be something born of deep discernment more than everything else. Although Eren had touched on love when he made the final decision to kill, he lacked the discernment which makes his decision still inherently flawed in the grand scheme of things. 

So what was the whole point of the story? 

I never believed AOT to be a manga that ‘romanticizes genocide’ regardless of what people are saying. 

I think what Yams was trying to set up here, after giving Eren the very difficult decision, was ‘who set up the tracks in the first place?’ 

Who forced that young boy from Shinganshina to stand at the side of the tracks and have to make the decision to kill millions or to let his family die? 

Was it the cycle of hatred? Was it the crapsack world that just forces everyone to be an asshole?

And the thing is, their world is a shithole. Just like ours.

Everyone is forced to do evil every once in their life (even through small ways)  but it doesn’t mean that these people are completely at fault. There are structures in society that force us to do ‘evil’ to survive and the Catholic concept of social sin explains this. I won’t go into detail about this but I just want to say...

Morality is incredibly complex and I do not believe a clear cut right or wrong exist. But I believe if everyone discerned for themselves what right or wrong is, if everyone did their part to make this world a better place, maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with their own version of the ‘trolley problem,’ maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with the decision to make such an ethically gray and questionable decision like Eren. 

So what’s the message that I believe Yams is trying to relay with his story? 

Stop the cycle of hatred, start talking, start discourse. Stop fighting. And I think he has shown it multiple times with Eren and Reiner’s conversation and with Marco’s screams of ‘WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED THIS THROUGH YET.” 

Anyway, I hope this meta or this rant whatever you think it is, just gives some new perspectives on the ending. Don’t get me wrong, Eren made a very ethically questionable decision but it had never been an easy decision to make to begin with. 

And I hope this type of analysis and reflection could be useful to your own thoughts and your own ways on how you choose to navigate life.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Over five popular seasons, the story lines of “Better Call Saul” have unfolded across nail salons, fried-chicken joints and other strip-mall staples of American life.

When new episodes begin premiering next year, though, the locations that give the “Breaking Bad” spinoff its texture could be reined in or done away with altogether. The culprit? The novel coronavirus, which is limiting where the New Mexico-set AMC show can film, potentially altering both its style and substance.

“Like a lot of other people, we’re going to have to be very creative in where and how we shoot,” said Mark Johnson, the veteran producer who oversees the Vince Gilligan hit, whose writers just began collaborating on the series’s sixth season. “A lot of places just won’t let you in.”

Across the entertainment industry, casts and crew are beginning to return to work after a five-month hiatus. In states with loosened restrictions, such as Georgia and New York, production is starting to crank up under tight controls that alter how sets operate. Instead of crew members freely mingling, they’re being divided into “pods" that limit how production departments such as wardrobe or lighting can associate. Covid-19 officers monitor the health of the cast and crew to determine who is allowed on set. “Zones” dictate where those cast and crew can go.

These changes might seem technical, but they hint at the far-reaching effects the virus will have on final screen products. Interviews with 12 executives, writers, agents and producers across the Hollywood spectrum suggest a dramatically transformed world of entertainment. Until a vaccine comes along, they say, covid-19 will change what Americans watch as dramatically as it has where they work, shop and learn. Forget the new normal — movies and TV are about to encounter the new austerity.

Crowd scenes are a no-go. Real-world locations will be limited. On-screen romance will be less common, sometimes restricted to actors who have off-screen relationships. And independent films — that tantalizing side dish in the U.S. entertainment meal — could be heavily scaled back.

“A lot of people believe this is just about getting back to work,” said Mark Gill, a producer and former head of Warner Independent Pictures, the studio unit responsible for independent hits such as “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Good Night, and Good Luck.” “They don’t realize the massive cultural impact we’re about to face.”

For most of its history, Hollywood created entertainment based on a simple premise: Shuttle in large numbers of people and move them around at will. That’s certainly true of crews. But it especially applies to extras, the low-paid day laborers who pack sets and off-camera holding areas in order to create dense crowd scenes — and, in turn, lend the work real-world atmosphere.

Such scenes have of course been part of some of the most memorable moments in Hollywood history. From “Ben-Hur” to “Braveheart,” on-screen entertainment has become indelible thanks to hundreds of people you’ve never heard of packing tiny spaces, then moving as one when the cameras roll.

Yet the virus has essentially made these hires impossible. Many don’t want to risk their health for a $100 paycheck and remote shot at background glory, and producers don’t want to take on the liability even if they did. “Braveheart" used about 1,600 extras, many from the Irish Army reserves. Experts say the movie couldn’t come close to being shot today.

“Those of us in the entertainment business are not used to being told ‘no’‚” said Lucas Foster, a longtime Hollywood producer who counts the 2005 romantic-action hit “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” and last year’s Oscar-decorated blockbuster “Ford v Ferrari” among his credits. “And when it comes to things like crowds, there’s going to be a lot of no.”

Foster understands the challenges personally — he’s one of the first producers to have made a movie in the age of covid-19.

In March, the Los Angeles resident was in Australia, several weeks into preproduction on a new version of “Children of the Corn” when the pandemic began to spread. Millions of dollars had already been committed to the movie, adapted from the same Stephen King story that yielded the 1984 cult hit. So rather than shut down, he decided to proceed — cautiously. Foster created a production bubble, consulted doctors regularly, procured large amounts of tests, and engaged in elaborate workarounds in realms like crowd scenes.

He said it worked, but with major accommodations.

“I had to figure out how to do a crowd with no more than a few people at the same time. And with very specific camera angles. And by taking actors who would normally be close together and making them not close together,” Foster said. “In the end, I’d get the scene I needed but it looked different than it would have before the pandemic.” (Computer-generated crowds, he and other producers say, only work for more distant shots; anything requiring close-ups needs the real thing.)

It helped, he noted, that many of his actors were children, who are believed less susceptible to the effects of the virus, and that much of the movie was shot in cornfields and other vast outdoor spaces, a luxury not all films have.

Producers say the added cost required to implement all the safeguards could also result in a lower-end finished product. Films and TV shows achieve their level of shine through an endless period of refinement, with actors and directors often attempt 10 or more takes of a scene. With everything now going longer — and thus costing more — they may not have the luxury.

One producer of multiple studio hits said he expects the number of takes to drop significantly as the virus balloons budgets. He also expected a diminution in night scenes, which tend to be more involved and expensive than day scenes. He said some productions will be able to make the switch, but not all will be as lucky.

Also unlucky, say Hollywood veterans: movies where characters seek to get lucky. Many insiders say romantic scenes will be a major challenge in movies. Two agents separately reported they had high-profile clients who told them they wouldn’t shoot love scenes during the pandemic.

“I think every agency right now is looking down their client list to see which actors have spouses who are also actors, because then we could try to get them cast, too,” said one of the agents, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized by their company to speak to the news media. “I’m joking. Sort of.”

The added wrinkle is even if the actors trust each other in real life, many of their characters would still have to take precautions on screen.

“How do you send two characters on a first dinner date when people aren’t really going on first dinner dates?” said a creator of romantic comedies who asked not to be identified because they did not want to be seen as criticizing colleagues who are attempting new projects. “You can send them on a socially distant walk, I guess.”

Writers say that leads to a broader dilemma: how much to incorporate the pandemic into their stories. On one hand, they say they don’t want to pretend the virus doesn’t exist. But acknowledging it poses its own challenges.

“Do you really want your stars wearing masks because that’s what characters would do? Do you want to have people engaging with each other in groups no larger than six? Do you want to write stories where everyone is at a safe distance?” said Mark Heyman, the co-writer of “Black Swan” and “The Skeleton Twins” and creator of the CBS All-Access historical drama “Strange Angel.” “Because a lot of those things won’t be very much fun to watch.”

Yet if creators aren’t willing to do that, he said, it could lead to those shows or movies getting shelved out of a fear that audiences will judge them inauthentic.

Heyman was working on a series set in a high school for Netflix when the lockdowns began. That project has now been put on pause. “It’s not easy to make a show about high school,” he said, “when there is no high school.”

To avoid reminding viewers of the pandemic, creators may take an approach that will lead to an unusual trend.

“I think over the next few years you’re going to see a lot more movies set in the past,” Foster said. “Even movies written for the present will be changed. They’ll make it the ’90s because then you don’t have to deal with these questions. And then you can just put in some cool ’90s music, so everybody wins.”

A few creators have gone the other way, leaning in to the pandemic.

Writers on Apple TV Plus’s “The Morning Show,” set at a news program, have torn up existing scripts to make the pandemic a part of the story line, according to a person familiar with the show who was not authorized to speak about it publicly. But with a lag time of months between shooting and airing, experts say that creators also risk looking out of date by the time episodes release to the public.

Sensing an opportunity, horror filmmakers have also tried to embrace current events.

“The horror genre is very suited to the pandemic and lockdowns — we’re always trying to create a feeling of being trapped anyway,” said the horror filmmaker Nathan Crooker.

When quarantines hit this spring, Crooker gathered nine noted horror filmmakers and had them shoot an anthology film — short fictional movies connected by the larger virus theme — and titled it “Isolation.” He required filmmakers to use only the materials and people they were in lockdown with, even prohibiting Zoom and other technologies.

“I think we’re going to get a very cool effect that mirrors what people are going through,” Crooker said of his work. “But I don’t know that every movie that gets made would want to look like that.”

One consequence of the virus could turn out to be the movies that don’t get made at all.

Some of the most beloved films of the past two decades, from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” to “Whiplash,” “Little Miss Sunshine” to “Fruitvale Station,” were independently financed. But before rolling cameras, independent productions require insurance policies to protect them from workplace lawsuits, along with completion bonds, in which a guarantor assures they will step in with funds to finish the movie if production is halted.

Experts say no company will cover covid-19 with either policy, effectively preventing production.

“Covid is an absolute disaster for the independent-film industry,” said Sky Moore, a partner in the corporate entertainment department of the Los Angeles law firm Greenberg Glusker who has spent several decades putting together film financing deals. “The lifeblood of independent-film financing is loans, and loans need insurance. Now you have this massive hole in the middle of all of it.”

Moore believes the toll will be vast.

“I think 50 percent of the independent industry goes away,” he said.

(Movies financed by large studios do not buy these policies; Netflix or Disney would just absorb a shutdown or lawsuit as the cost of doing business.)

Even if they can work around the insurance issues, many independent films won’t get made because they simply won’t have the money. “It’s already hard to get funding for a lot of these movies,” said Shaun MacGillivray, a producer who makes large-scale independent documentaries. “And now you’re telling investors the budget is going to be 30 percent higher?”

The independent-film world is trying to push ahead, slowly. The Sundance Film Festival, the epicenter of the indie-film business, where companies like Hulu and Netflix sometimes pay more than $10 million for an independently financed movie, will hold a partially physical, partially virtual edition in January, albeit at just about half the length.

“We are reminded daily of the power of what is made newly visible to us, the importance of what we look at,” Tabitha Jackson, the director of the festival, said in a letter to staff this summer explaining why the festival needed to go on. “My hope for this edition of the Sundance Film Festival is that through a multiplicity of perspectives held by artists and audiences in their various communities we will also come to feel the power of where we look from.” Left unspoken: What happens in 2022, when the well runs dry because new movies can’t be insured and produced?

Whatever entertainment can get made, experts say, will have a more hermetic look. Even television shows, once shot heavily on sets, now often rely on the authenticity of locations; a police procedural feels like it does because detectives are popping into pizza places and apartment buildings.

“We don’t want everything to be a chamber piece,” said Johnson, the “Better Call Saul” executive producer. “But if many shows look different, I think that’s okay, because the world looks different.”

Then, considering the challenge further, he added, “And if that doesn’t work, then at least our show has a lot of deserts and open roads.”

[crimefightingpigeons]

I’ve shared my head canon on how we go from Doomsday to Turn Left - your turn! What do you think happens??  - @loupettes

OK I’ve got no excuse for why this took me so long (other than complete lack of productive brain cells) but heyyy look part 3 is here! And hopefully it was worth the wait??? Anyone wanna place bets as to how long part 4 will take haha? I PROMISE it will happen though because I’m determined to finally finish this fic.

part 1 | part 2

A Brief Guide to Love and Defending the Universe

3.

After a thorough talking to about her reckless actions and a mandated night of sleep (which everyone took advantage of), the team got right back to work with a lot more luck. Apparently the fractures just hadn’t been wide enough to travel through before, and now they were. For the most part, they took this as an absolute blessing and tried their best to ignore its solemn reminder that they only had so much time left.

For efficiency, both Rose and Mickey took on travelling through the cannon while Pete remained on base to keep track of the two. Plus, connecting Rose’s old phone to the mainframe, they had found a way to call the TARDIS’s number to every universe it could connect to, hoping at some point the ship’s owner might just pick up. On a good day, between the three of them, they could reach upwards of a hundred different worlds.

As powerful as the cannon was, though, nothing came as easy as they would have liked. For one thing, there was no way of knowing how close or far they were to their old universe, no way of knowing from this side of any crack where the Doctor was. It was a setback, but not a surprising one. What was even more frustrating, though, was the recharge time needed between jumps.

Most of the time it was extremely horrible just being stuck. All they had to do upon landing was a universal scan for TARDIS tech, wait a few seconds for a negative answer, and then… wait. Maybe if their own world wasn’t collapsing in on itself every day it might have been easier to enjoy, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and each passing minute of not being able to do anything useful was quite stressful. And that wasn’t even accounting for the added trouble they’d face when they happened to be dropped right in the middle of an unwanted fight or war zone.

Other times, though, it could truthfully be amazing. Sure the entire multiverse was in a constant state of trouble, but sometimes it was nice to land somewhere that just needed a bit of help. Taking down local authoritarian regiments, solving mysterious disappearances, assisting on small scale alien invasions and such. It was just nice to help and feel properly useful. And sometimes it was these small victories that were just enough to get them to continue on through the next day.

Occasionally, though, very rarely, there would be an unexpected surprise waiting for them.

The first time it happened was to Rose. She had been running off from some strange alien hunting her, and just as she found a safe place to hide, there it was: the TARDIS. Her heart stopped and she didn’t believe her eyes. It didn’t make sense… the scanner said he wasn’t here… It wasn’t possible… Her mind was racing frantically, and then the door of the ship opened and… a blonde man with a piece of lettuce attached to his lapel stepped out. It was a man Rose recognized instantly from an album the Doctor had shown her. Except that her version of that Doctor had chosen celery as his accessory of choice… It wasn’t him, not her him anyways. Parallel universe, parallel Doctor. But before she could even think of how to react, the alarm telling her to jump back went off and she chose to go.

A few weeks later, Mickey had his own run in with the Doctor. He nearly didn’t believe Rose when she told him and Pete about seeing him, figured it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But then during one of his jumps, he had quite literally ran into a strange young man wearing a bow tie and tweed jacket.

“Oh, sorry there mate—” the man apologized as they both fell to the ground. Then just as the pair locked eyes, “Mickey?” The man’s smile grew and he excitedly jumped up, pulling Mickey up with him, and took him into a tight embrace. “Oh Mickey Smith! I can’t tell you how good it is to see you!”

Mickey just smiled and hugged him right back. “It’s good to see you too, Doctor.” It didn’t take an idiot to figure out exactly who that man was.

Since then, they both had a handful of other run ins with versions of the Doctor either they knew or who knew them. Most of the time it was alright. Mickey always seemed to enjoy the reunions, but Rose usually did her best to avoid them. Sure she wouldn’t mind a glimpse from afar every so often, but it was also difficult being so close yet so far from her own Doctor. And on the occasions she did run into a version of him who had clearly lost her… well, it wasn’t exactly easy to walk away from those situations. So she simply pushed forward, not letting herself get distracted.

But as time continued on, the team was facing more difficult problems than just running into people they didn’t want to see. If there were any stars left in the sky they were impossible to locate on even the clearest of nights, and the world was getting more scared and angry every day. Even Torchwood had been run down, the population blaming them for not doing more. Rose, Mickey, and Pete all felt even happier that they had decided to keep this project on the down low. Doing what they were trying to do was hard enough on its own, and they couldn’t imagine having to do it while putting up with angry protestors striking chaos.

Still, even with that obstacle out of the way, they couldn’t help but lose a little more hope every day. Some days the basement would be made a mess from a frustrated break down, and they believed no other room in any world had hosted so many nightmares or tears. They all knew they had a few weeks left- at the very most. A few weeks to get through enough of the infinite universes out there to find the right one. A few weeks to sort through whatever problem might be waiting for them on the other side. Every day it became harder to imagine finding real success. And as it turned out, inevitable universal destruction partnered with a lack of optimism and massive burnout wasn’t the motivation they had been looking for.

Pete chose to step back a bit to spend some more time with Jackie and Tony. It felt nearly cruel thinking everything he had just gained in the last few years was about to be snatched from him. And maybe it wasn’t responsible, but he was going to spend whatever time he could with his family.

Meanwhile Rose was simply running out of energy to keep going. After years of pushing and overworking herself, she had started taking the tiniest of steps back as doubt and hopelessness ravaged through her mind. Maybe this was as far as they got, she started to tell herself. Maybe she had been right all those years ago. Maybe without the Doctor she really wasn’t anything special. She remembered her young, naïve self. You don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. They felt almost like a stranger’s words now.

Of course if anyone knew that wasn’t true it was Mickey Smith, and he was determined to support her however he could. Most of the time this involved taking on some extra work, to let her have a moment of peace whenever she needed. With his gran gone (which truthfully he was thankful she wasn’t around to experience all this), he certainly had the time. And he knew if it had been Rose in his position, she would do the same for him.

Nowadays time seemed to bleed into itself and the gang never knew exactly when it was (they hoped that was just because of all the work they were doing in a windowless basement, and not a side effect from the whole multiverse ending thing). It felt like a very early morning though, at this particular moment. Pete was probably asleep next to Jackie or watching Tony. Rose was taking a nap on the cot in the corner. And Mickey kept working, taking full advantage of that autopilot function he wasn’t as judgemental at Rose for using anymore. As usual, he encountered failure, after failure, after failure. But he kept going, kept persisting, kept—

*beep beep*

Mickey looked down at his scanner on a planet which seemed to be made entirely of purple rock, a bit startled. His mind went through all the possibilities of what that sound could mean. Low battery? Interference? Surely it couldn’t have been…

But it was! The scanner had received a signal from the TARDIS. Their actual, real TARDIS.

A purely joyful grin spread over Mickey’s face and tears started welling in his eyes. He didn’t know which galaxy, which planet he was on. He didn’t know where Earth was, or wherever the Doctor happened to be at this moment. He didn’t know when he happened to land, 50 years in the past or 2000 years in the future. But none of that was important. Instead he chose to break out into a mad happy dance, hoping in the back of his mind that no alien was around to see him make a fool of himself.

After wearing himself out, Mickey couldn’t help but want to jump back. But then he remembered he still had to wait for his device to repower.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered under his breath. 25 minutes to go until he could jump, 25 excruciatingly impossible long minutes.

Finally though, after what really did feel like an eternity, Mickey’s alarm went off and not even a whole second later he jumped back. Once his feet hit the platform in the basement, he looked up to find a still sleeping Rose, prompting his grin to reappear.

“Rose, Rose!” he started calling her name as he stumble-ran towards her. Then crouching down by her side and shaking her, “Rose, wake up!”

“Mmm… wha’ is’t?” Rose shot up, but her mind was still caught in a sleepy haze. Mickey didn’t have the patience to wait for her to finish waking up, though, and started pulling her along.

“Got somethin’ to show you, come on now. Here, take this,” he handed Rose his jump button and helped her onto the platform. Then, running back to the console, he paused for a second to carefully adjust the coordinates and recalibrate the cannon.

“Mickey what’s going on?” Rose asked again, now awake but still completely confused.

Mickey smiled at her once again. “See for yourself, in 3, 2…” and he sent her off.

“Mickey!” Rose tried shouting again, but it was too late. And before she knew it she was thrown into the street of another world. A world which looked a lot like London, Earth at night. Which maybe it was, but surely it wasn’t their old London. Rose wandered down the road a bit, enjoying the wind on her face as much as possible and wondering what Mickey could have possibly wanted her to have seen… then she saw a gathering crowd around the corner. Her attention piqued and she continued on towards it. There was a big building- a corporate office of some sort or another- surrounded by emergency services of every kind. She was in the middle of wondering what could have possibly happened when a red headed woman came up behind her.

“Listen, there’s this woman that’s going to come along. A tall blonde woman called Sylvia. Tell her that bin there, alright? It’ll all make sense. That bin there.”

Rose could tell something good just happened to this woman by her smile alone. For a moment she remembered when she smiled like that, and the one person who could always effortlessly pull it from her. But she pushed it out of her head. She almost wanted to warn that other woman to hold off on her joy, too. If only she knew what was just around the corner for them all. Rose was sure she wouldn’t have such a reason to be celebrating.

With a sigh, Rose decided to walk away. Whatever Mickey had found so interesting about this event had either passed or simply wasn’t getting her attention like it might have any other time. And frankly she wasn’t too invested in helping that Sylvia woman- or whatever her name was- find a bin. So she went off into the dark street, hoping to clear her mind.

But then… something strange started happening. Rose was still walking down the street, but the ground beneath her started to disappear and the world around seemed to fuzz in and out just slightly and there was a weird static-y feeling around her-

And then everything was back to normal. She was back on the same street. At night. With a giant web star in the sky-

Rose’s head jolted back up to notice the very interesting thing that had certainly not been there just a few moments ago. ‘What the hell is going on?’ she thought. But before she could think of any sort of reasonable answer, she saw missiles being launched at whatever it was floating overhead, blowing it up.

On pure instinct, Rose started sprinting towards the source of the shooting. The whole time wondering- praying- that somehow all of this meant exactly what she was hoping it meant. That he was here. Maybe the Doctor had somehow gotten wind of their interdimensional jumping, maybe the TARDIS had picked up on it and alerted him! Maybe that weird moment she had experienced just a moment ago had been the Doctor pulling her back to him! With each breath and dash forward she had to forcefully restrict every ounce of hope in her body from seeping through.

Finally, Rose arrived at the scene. It appeared things had calmed down a bit, but there were still emergency vehicles and men and women in camo uniforms and red berets all around.

“What happened, what did they find?,” she slowed down as she got close to the barriers. There was a woman- a red headed woman. Rose turned to her. “Sorry, but… Did they find someone?”

“I don’t know. Bloke called the Doctor or something.”

“Where is he?”

“They took him away, he’s dead.”

Rose froze. Any thoughts running through her mind just a second ago disappeared and her body filled with a heavy numbness. She could hear the woman still going on behind her, but didn’t register a single word of it.

“…I came so far,” she breathed out.

Finally, though, Rose forced herself back to reality. Her worst fear may have been coming true, but that didn’t stop the rest of the multiverse from imminent destruction. And there was something weird about this world, something off… and something familiar about the voice talking to her. Rose turned around and for the first time since running into her, got an actually good look at who she was talking to. This woman wasn’t just any ordinary woman. It was the same woman who had told her about that bin just a few minutes ago in that crowded street. Something weird was definitely going on. A dead Doctor, this woman showing up twice… with something very odd on her back unlike before…?

“What’s your name?”

“Donna. And you?”

“I’m just… passing by… I shouldn’t even be here. This is wrong. This is so wrong,” she rambled on, more and more of her focus being diverted to whatever was on this woman’s back. “What was it, sorry? Donna what?”

“Why d’you keep looking at my back?”

Rose snapped her eyes away to look anywhere else. The last thing she needed to do was upset the woman who might be able to give her some answers. “I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You keep looking behind me, you’re doing it now. What is it, what’s there? Did someone….”

But before Donna could finish her sentence and before Rose had any more time to investigate, the world around her started to fuzz back out. And she was gone.

[fanwright]

Out of the ATLA characters, who would be best to use as a template for a Star Wars clone army? Would you use only one for the template or multiple characters? If you use more than one, for what purpose would you assign their clones?

So this made me think quite a bit, and its harder to answer than expected.

On one hand, my first instinct is to select any of the main characters. All of them have qualities of some kind that can be seen as highly coveted in a clone template for the Grand Army of the Republic. However, there are some significant down sides to each main character being used as a single template for an entire clone army. 

I actually had a very long winded response to this going through all the main characters and pointing out why one wasn’t suited while the other was, but at some point I realized that... almost none of them are truly ideal for being a candidate for a clone template. Shocking, I know, but I did say almost none of them. Now, this doesn’t mean that any of them can’t be a good individual soldier or officer or star ship captain or whatever you want them to be. As soldiers in their own right they would be good. I dare say some of them would be heroes, even legends. 

But I wasn’t looking for heroes or legends. I was looking for someone who could just be a soldier. I was looking for someone who I felt was of fairly decent character, mentally stable, who could follow an order regardless of whether or not it was the right call, accomplish a task regardless of whether or not it was mission critical or trivial, and one who I felt could tolerate military life without many complaints and just... do it. In short, I was looking for someone who I thought could fit the role of a standard clone trooper. Someone who wasn’t out to be a hero or a legend, nor compelled to be a villain.

And that someone turned out to be Suki.

And in my opinion she’s actually kind of the only real choice out of the main cast of characters we see. And this doesn’t necessarily stem from the fact that we see her in a kind-of-military role already through her association with the Kyoshi Warriors, though I will admit it helped a little in making the choice. 

Think about.

I consider Suki one of the main characters in the show, but she has this aura about her, for lack of a better word. A kind of aura that lends well to being the “every-woman” of any given situation that needs something to be done. She’s not really out to be a hero, though she possesses that capacity, nor is she out to be a villain, though I can see her doing more questionable things without any complaints or scruples, if need be.

She’s one of the only characters we see consistently see in some kind of uniformed role. More importantly the uniform is not meant as a disguise or for some other ulterior motive. When she puts on the uniform, she wears it to be a part of something, to do something required of her. When we first saw her in her first episode, I am willing to bet we were all sold on her being a Kyoshi Warrior. How she trained and how she believed in the tenants of her organization. When we saw her again in the show, this time at Full Moon Bay as a guard taking in tickets, again it wasn't as a disguise. She even said she did it just to assist people there, even if it was just doing something as mundane as punching in holes for tickets. On a regular basis, As if it was her job.

And in a way... she kinda is like a clone trooper. 

Clones have been noted to perform a variety of roles despite coming from the same template. And while many were of course trained in those specific roles, the character and personality of the template itself is a factor in how each clone adapted to their role. Now, it is noted that the genome provided by Jango Fett had to be tailored and modified so that the standard trooper could follow orders more obediently, diluting Jango Fett’s more independent and volatile tendencies  while keeping the qualities that made him ideal as being the candidate. The Republic needed a soldier that was tailored and trained to follow orders obediently, one that could “get the job done”. Guaranteed.

With Suki, you potentially have a candidate that is similar. And this is where we get to the darker side of the clones, one where it got me thinking “Okay, who can we change up just enough to have their personality remain intact when their genome structure is tampered with, to the point where they are bred to be a good trooper?” Again, to me, Suki is the only real candidate. Why? Think about what would happen if you spliced up Zuko or Azula or Sokka enough to have them be bred as the genetic version of an ideal soldier. In my opinion, it means taking away what makes them truly unique. To me, that meant diluting Azula’s sense of ambition, sharp wit, and intense independence, possibly screwing with  her mentality even more and making her seem almost lobotomized. That meant making Zuko less emotionally unstable and less angry, but also turning him into a literal drone in a way, completely obedient to whoever commands him. That meant diluting Sokka’s sense of humor and a bit of his creativeness just to control him, as well as smashing his moral compass to the point where he would be a serious asshole. You gain all their fighting qualities and what makes them good on the battlefield, but you loose what makes their characters unique if you have the Kaminoians have their way. And you know what perfectionists they are. Anything they don’t like, they’ll splice it out or dilute it.

With Suki, you don’t loose that much, as terrible or surprising as that might be to hear. If I was a Kaminoian cloner, I’d look at her and think “Hm. This one seems ideal. She has a sense of independence and seems to have a moral compass, but I can work with that. Not too much genetic tailoring to change that. With her template we will have a clone that can follow orders obediently, regardless of morality. She seems to come from a warrior caste with a strong sense of team work and cooperation. It seems to have been instilled in her at a very young age. This can work to our advantage in making a satisfactory product for the Galactic Republic. It helps that she is a proficient warrior as well. Her training has prepared her physically and mentally. Our clones will be able to benefit from this if we can tailor the genome correctly.” I do not believe much of her personality will be changed through this process, though she will come off as being a bit more “darker” or perhaps more amoral. Still, after giving it some thought, these changes wouldn’t be as severe if the cloners were to tamper with the others’ genomes. Hell, the Kaminoians would probably reject of a few of them outright for not being suitable candidates. 

Now, there is also the issue of Order 66 and the Sith being involved in (or rather hijacking) the Clone Project. If I’m getting the information correctly, Master Sifo-Dyas, foreseeing a war that would engulf the Republic, wanted to commission a clone army for its defense. To my knowledge no clone template was decided on by Sifo-Dyas before the Pyke Syndicate killed him. He did contact the Kaminoians though and from what I understand they were merely just waiting on a candidate to start cloning with. Count Dooku was the one who paid Jango Fett to be the template for the clone army and at the behest of Dooku, the control chips embedded inside each clone were intended for them to forcefully comply with Order 66, which was not their intended purpose when Sifo-Dyas proposed the plan. 

Now, with Suki, I still think there is a way to recruit her and gain her genetic template for a project like this. It involves a bit of crafty manipulation by the Sith. Perhaps someone comes up to her and offers the opportunity up in a noble way. “We have selected you as the candidate for a military project that will ensure the safety of all those in the Republic.You are the galaxy’s best warrior, short of a Jedi.” Perhaps Suki would feel a great sense of honor or pride in being selected, even taking pride in training the clones (As a contrast, Jango Fett was paid to be the template after consideration from the Sith since he was considered the best bounty hunter in his trade. He took no pride in the clones he trained and merely saw it as a job.) The Sith finds ways to manipulate and get what they want. I believe putting on a noble face to do so wouldn’t be out of the question.

So yeah. Suki would be my candidate for the clone template for a Grand Army of the Republic. That’s if I had to choose only one character.

If I had to choose multiple candidates though, thats where we get to have some fun! If that was the case, then other characters would be viable as candidates for clone templates.

We can get something like the Bad Batch, or Clone Force 99, from the Clone Wars show, but on a massive scale and with more templates instead of splicing up the single one.

Anyway, that’s my answer for now.

[honeymoonjin]

ten - ot7 x reader fluff

A/N: the final part to our numbers trilogy! Read the first part here - Seven, and the second part here - Eight. 1.9k. (i’m boo boo the fool and wrote this whole thing before realizing that i couldn’t call it ‘nine’ anymore oops) Life changes now that you and your seven boyfriends are parents.

---

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

Beaming down at the sleeping new-born in your arms, you can’t help but agree with Hoseok. After an excruciatingly long labor and a couple of days in hospital, you had returned home and spent the next week and a half in new-parent bliss with the boys.

The past nine months had been full of trials and tribulations. Seeing the boys anywhere outside the dorm became impossible as countless emergency meetings were scheduled on whether BigHit should let the public know you were pregnant. The thought even came up that you should get a paternity test for your baby so that only the ‘real’ father would be publicly known as the dad.

You cringe thinking back to that meeting. Hoseok had gotten all quiet and scared at the thought that he might not be able to be seen with you in public if he wasn’t the father. Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi had gotten heated to the point of yelling about how that would affect the group morale, Jimin and Taehyung left, telling Sejin that they would go on strike from the group if Sejin wanted to split them apart like that. Worst of all, your gentle Koo had started crying, hand clasped over his mouth and nose as his shoulders shook, letting out upset whimpers with every sob.

The pregnancy wasn’t all emotionally strenuous meetings though. There was an abundance of joy that kept you going in seeing your boyfriends prepare to be fathers. Still, to this day, the eight of you had a parenting-specific group-chat called ‘Operation Baby’, which had started out as a way for the members to give their opinions on baby clothes and nursery furniture since they weren’t allowed to be seen shopping for items like that. Now it was mostly used to designate whose turn it was to get up when the cries started at all hours of the morning.

There were some slight disagreements over time; Jimin, who desperately wanted to buy little color-coded booties and binkies, wanted to find out the gender but Namjoon was insistent that gender wasn’t something to designate a color, and that the sex of the baby didn’t matter, that you would love it equally no matter what. Jimin reluctantly settled for buying booties in every pastel shade there was (he teared up opening the massive cardboard box that arrived in your mail one Wednesday morning). One night, while he was a bit too drunk, Jin suggested that he should be the name for the father on the birth certificate since he was the oldest. Hoseok rebutted that it should be him since he had been dating you the longest, and a scuffle had broken out on your patio. In the end, Jin had won the battle, but with the caveat that he would get no extra rights over the others. That decision was one of the hardest you had to make.

Luckily for you and the boys, it wasn’t touring season. They had just finished the final leg of their world tour when you were reaching the end of your second trimester, and then they were allowed to have a one-month complete break before returning to work. Still, Sejin and Bang PD had decided it was wise to have them working on a new album for a while, at least over the later months of the pregnancy and after giving birth. They had been gradually increasing public appearances on a smaller scale to keep the fans entertained; a new season of Run! was airing, their mobile game had been a hit as expected, and they were taking the time to feature as guests on several Korean variety shows and be interviewed over Skype for some international news outlets. Put simply, everything had gone much more smoothly than you think anyone was expecting.

“Ah, I think Jimin wants to come in,” Hobi says softly, pulling you out of your musings. You glance up to see a shadowed silhouette wiggling around behind the clouded-glass of Namjoon’s studio. The man himself, Namjoon, was fast asleep on the small couch and you didn’t think he’d be waking up anytime soon. He lay there with his legs sticking off the end, his mouth dangling open and a string of drool gathering on the fabric under his cheek. Namjoon looked totally exhausted.

You nod and Hobi and he gets up quickly to let Jimin in, shushing him the moment the door opens. Behind him, Jungkook enters silently, waving to the infant in your arms cheerily and immediately running up to start wiggling her little chubby legs and tickling her tummy as she lets out little coos. With a hushed voice, Jimin questions, “how is our little Hana doing?”

You beam down at the little girl, letting her latch onto your pinky with her tiny sausage fingers, complete with the smallest fingernails in the world. “She’s happy. We’re trying to get her used to the sounds of the equipment running.” There was always a slight buzz in the air because of how much producing equipment was in here and the other studios, and you had read once that if you got a puppy used to certain noises then it wouldn’t bother them when they grew up. Surely babies were the same, right?

Jimin sighs out dreamily, coming forward to rub your back and give the baby’s forehead a kiss. “Can I hold her?” Instinctively, Jungkook steps back to give you two room.

“Of course,” you whisper back, deftly navigating the delicate body out of your arms and into his. “Where’s Dul?”

So, there was another thing. Not that long after you started regularly going to the clinic for checkups, your nurse found two heartbeats. The boys were over the moon – all the more babies to love; you couldn’t stop thinking about how hard it would be when they eventually had to return to work. But for now, you tried not to think about that and just enjoy your sweet little twins. Taehyung, who had twins in his family’s history, thought this meant he was the biological father. But then again, the family resemblance had become a bit of an ongoing inside joke. Your little daughter had Yoongi’s gummy smile, Namjoon’s dimples, and your nose. Her brother, older by sixteen minutes, had Jungkook’s glittering eyes, Jimin’s pillowy lips, and had already started twitching his nose like Jin. Nobody could deny that the little infants looked nothing like Hobi, and while you’d all joke around about it, you could tell it hurt him.

Jimin laughs breathily, bouncing the baby until she lets out a sweet yawn, bunching her fist up by her mouth, and promptly goes to sleep in her daddy’s arms. “We really need to come up with names already. One and Two aren’t going to be cute much longer.”

You fix him with a glare. “Excuse me! I don’t see you posting any better suggestions on the Operation Baby chat.”

He tuts you with a grin. “That’s because the last few options have been Thing One and Thing Two, Bob and Linda, and pussydestroyer69 and pussydestroyer420.”

Having been quiet for a few minutes, Jungkook reflexively blurts, “pussydestroyer420 and 69 are gender neutral, okay? I thought Namjoon would appreciate it.” He turns and gives the sleeping leader a baleful look. “I can never win.”

You reach up and pat his cheeks teasingly, standing up and stretching out your sore arm joints. “Anyway, whereabouts is my little son?”

Jungkook leans into your touch, wrinkling his nose in protest to your pats. “The kitchen. Jin and Tae are telling him how to make spaghetti Bolognese.”

You laugh softly, leaving the three boys sitting and the one sleeping in Namjoon’s studio, heading down the hallway to the kitchen. As you approach, you can hear an angelic low melody hummed by Taehyung, and the animated yet matter-of-fact tone of Jin describing how to properly dice onion.

You smother a grin, rounding the corner and taking a seat at the breakfast bar. Jin had apparently heard somewhere that it was important to speak a lot around growing children to increase their exposure to language, and had taken it upon himself to narrate his entire life in the past week to the little oblivious babies. He gestured passionately with the knife and his elbows as Tae kept a safe distance, bouncing the baby softly as it lay against his chest, head tucked into Taehyung’s neck. The humming had clearly sent your son to sleep; truth be told, the slow version of Scenery had your eyelids feeling heavy too.

Once he notices your presence, Jin sighs heavily. “Finally, you’re here! Your son isn’t listening to me!”

You smile, eyes crinkling. “In his defense, that knife would be fair too heavy for him to hold.”

“Weakling,” Jin mutters.

The humming stops. “You look tired,” Taehyung notes, tipping his head at you. “You and Yoongi were on night shift last night, right?”

You make a noise of affirmation and nod once. “Hana just wouldn’t settle. I think she’s going to be the trouble one of the two.”

“That’s true. This guy seems pretty easygoing.” You let yourself get lost in the sight of Taehyung snuggling your baby boy, Tae’s hand bigger than the infant’s entire back, but then Taehyung calls your name again. “Y/n. Go to bed, baby. We’ve got this; haven’t we, Jin-hyung?”

Jin scrapes the diced onions into the pan and smiles up at you, cheeks puffing. “Dinner’s still a couple of hours away. Get some rest, jagiya.”

As much as you want to savor every moment with your family, you’re certainly relieved to finally have a good reason to lie down. You give them both a soft kiss on the lips, and your baby several smooches on his chubby cheeks and soft head, before padding down the hallway to the only other person who’s still in bed.

“Yoongi,” you whisper into the dark bedroom, curtains drawn. The lump under the blankets doesn’t move. “Are you awake?”

“Physically,” comes the gruff reply. You grin and shuck your clothes quickly, leaving just your underwear on before slipping under the covers. “Hey, baby. How are the terrible two?”

“Taehyung and Jungkook are fine,” you quip.

“Ha ha. C’mere, I wanna snuggle.” You huff a laugh at the demanding way he asks for affection, but nevertheless shuffle into his grasp, letting him wrap his arms around you, planting soft kisses on your bare shoulder.

You hum in contentment at the sensation. “Love you, Yoonie.”

“I love you more.”

You tilt your head up and scrunch your nose playfully. “I love you most.”

His eyes are narrowed at the edges as he smiles. “Fine then, you win. Now let me spoon my beautiful wife and the mother of my children.”

Your eyes fly open. “What.”

“Uh.” Yoongi stammers. “Just, uh, ignore that wife comment. Shit.” You chuckle a little and lie back against the pillows, feeling a lazy finger trace circles on your skin. Minutes later, when you’re almost asleep, you hear him murmur into the silent room, “just pretend to be surprised when Hoseok pulls out the ring, okay?”

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 121 Thoughts

Where’s the clip... someone had to have clipped it. Or I could just not interfere with my tentatively obligatory aesthetic and do this the less fun way. Less fun  does  indeed sound like me, so

There’s this DragonBall Z Abridged line.

From one of the Bardock specials.

You know. Bardock.

He can see the future.

He has a line about all the conveniences this ability causes his life.

-ahem-

USELESS ASS PSYCHIC POWERS.

Do I even need to write this? Can it just be a chorus of what the fuck over and over? Because sincerely, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuuuuuuuuck.

That doesn’t even have a tune. I sort of imagined one in my head, but I’m sort of caught up on how this makes everything worse, better, and changes absolutely nothing because it’s still Eren and Zeke being on the most disastrous family trip this world has ever seen.

Let’s review.

In the way that Angelica reviews Alexander Hamilton’s quality choices in the musical.

So we’ve got Eren, who is basically dying after his epic war games decision (good grief I haven’t even read War Games, but is he Stephanie Brown in this analogy? is that what we’re dealing with? is he somehow both Stephanie Brown and Batman?) that was intending to lead into him holding his brother’s hand.

His head is shot off.

Lest we forget.

Zeke caught it.

Because he’s a Good Big Brother.

That quality pro-genocide big brothering.

Brought to you by Dad.

Yeah so. Zeke and Eren,  down  memory lane. In an Inception of their own making, only like. Actually Inception. I am going to make this post take nine times longer than it has to because I’m going to keep making pop references  instead of dealing with the content.

Inception is a movie where the plot is for a heist team to go in and plant an idea inside someone’s head so that it grows into a genuine change for the world, breaking up a giant monopoly of power and slowing human civilization’s speedy erosion. #Spoilers, I guess.

...The things I bring up in these posts are always keenly relevant, good fuck.

So that we continue to all be caught up, Eren is playing out the part of the first time this is done, where the main character plants an idea in his wife’s head that leads to the destruction of his life and her death.

With his dad playing the part of wife.

Anyway, Zeke and Eren are having an Inception.

In the real world, Zeke is holding his little brother’s decapitated head while Paradis is attacked by Marley (soon to be the entire world) due entirely to Eren and Zeke’s choices. The objective of which, for each of them, was holding hands.

Eren’s aim for that is unknown, while Zeke is shooting for a passive genocide  that the narrative is making look like the more reasonable decision based on the fuckery that has become of the unscrewed nuts and bolts inside Eren’s head.

To be clear, neither one is being reasonable.

This is a trash fire of bad decisions.

Where the person rooting for genocide mostly just has the edge of probably being the same person throughout the entire chapter, as well as his life history, while the person with the unknown aims is looking like a really good case of Inside Eren Yeager, Titan Attack You.

That was funnier in my head.

The joke is that the Attack Titan ate Eren.

Is in the process of eating Eren?

Is periodically nomming on Eren.

Results may vary.

V original theory do not steal.

Ahem.

Going back to our plot summary!

Eren and Zeke, being the quality brothers they  are,  want to hold  hands,  and being the quality human beings they are,  start a massive war  of death and  trauma  on their way to holding hands,  then they fail to  hold hands because the natural  result of the quality of their quality  is  that Eren’s head  got blown  off, so  they’re settling  for Zeke holding  Eren’s  head.

Eren is presently cast as the clear antagonist, Zeke’s idea is still awful, and they’re locked in an extradimensional space where no one else has the power to point out that their main achievement so far is being useless dumbasses.

On top of a field of bodies.

Boys.

What in the fuck.

Forget what they want to do.

By all evidence, even in the midst of other horrifying details coming to light, all that needed to happen was them making contact. That’s it. Whatever massive plan is ongoing, they just needed to hold hands.

Cue a bunch of people dying. Including probably Eren.

This is a bad plan.

I’m okay with that.

It is still one of the most insanely complicated monuments  to a zero sum game that I have ever read, and it becomes very obvious that the reason these characters have Titan powers is because if they didn’t, they would be dead the first chapter they showed up, lacking the good sense to not be dead.

First volume, sorry.

This is not a complaint. I would happily eat mountains of popcorn to the tune of canon agreeing that yes, letting Zeke and Eren come up with their own original ideas is maybe bad. It is hilarious. They are not good at this.

I realize Zeke didn’t have hands back then, but at this point both of you have to be considering that maybe you should have just bumped shoulders on the plane.

I’m sort of on the fence for how to react outside of heavy amusement, though. The downside of Zeke and Eren being so bad at this is that literally nothing is going well. Paradis is on fire again, Marley exists yet remains to let the members of its cast who sort of have morals die shocking deaths, and the fate of the world is being decided in the split second before Eren’s death between two people who should be in charge of absolutely nothing.

The rest of the cast, barring the inevitable reveal of what the fuck Eren’s got up his  sleeve, has no power over any of this.

It’s. I guess it’s what you would call appalling.

Yelena’s point of view is really the closest anyone in canon has come to understanding the situation, and boy is that telling. She sees these two men as gods. She believes in their ability to remake the world. All that falls to her is  facilitating their union.

She might have her battle lines a bit crossed, but yeah. Once Eren and Zeke make contact, all the rest of the world can do to discover its fate is wait.

That is a key Epic style plot, only it’s drawn out by Eren and Zeke both clearly not being gods. Zeke is a broken child who has made all of his decisions from a belief that the world is too cruel to be worth living in.

Eren is.

...

Eren, I’m coming back to you.

For now, let’s just dub him a disaster.

So you have the storyline of gods clashing while the mortals sit back with bated breath, but the scale of it is stomped all over because mortals who should not be making these decisions are still  making them, and neither one seems  entirely sane.

Locking Eren and Zeke in a bubble has been a source of grand entertainment, but as a story feature, the idea of these circumstances determining anything is something of a letdown.

Eren’s known for years what he’s wanted to do, and he still ends up with his head shot off while he runs too slow to stop his brother from initiating the death of their people.

Something has to give for this to feel like it matters, because right now the prevailing feeling is that these people should be as far away from power as humanly possible.

The darkness of this story is often, I feel, exaggerated. Sometimes by the author. It is a story where horrific things happen,  and are  attempted, but the hearts of all the characters we’re invited to sympathize with have always been crystal clear. There has never been a question that Zeke’s plan is wrong. There has never been a question of genocide in all its forms being inexcusable.

Reiner breaks down a wall. Bertolt breaks down a wall. Annie calls monsters to the broken wall.

Thousands of people die because children were handed power and thrown into a situation they had no hopes of understanding.

All three of the traitor kids end up traumatized. Reiner’s mind splits, Bertolt retreats so far into himself he barely engages with the world, and Annie literally crystallizes herself through the desperate desire to make it home.

There is no question that they could have been something besides murderers. They probably all would have preferred that.

This is not a grimdark series where everyone has forgotten what good things look like. Hange can design trains with prisoners of war. Niccolo can learn to care for people he’s been taught to hate. Children can be protected regardless of side.

Where the darkness comes from is not from the absence of light, but the deterioration of faith in that light.

Annie wants to go home. Bertolt and Zeke want it to end. Reiner doesn’t know right and wrong, but he’ll fulfill his duty and extend sympathy to a fellow victim  of chaos he’s not equipped to understand.

They stop seeing their fight as something that has true meaning. The most proactive hearts come from Bertolt and Zeke, who share the same mind of simply ending things, not forging a new beginning.

That’s where things get sticky with Eren and Zeke.

This chapter paints Eren in such a dark light it’s hard to hope he succeeds in whatever he’s doing, but Zeke’s wish is still something that can’t be allowed to  happen.

The scenario presented is one where the light has gone out, and the person who was counted on the be its champion has lost something essential in his humanity.

Obviously that doesn’t mean this is over, but every time the immediate entertainment of Zeke and Eren being  the worst strategists to ever live  passes, the question of what’s being fought for here comes up, and there’s no clear answer. Not with this version of Eren.

Cultivated distrust in the protagonist is nothing new, but the extent of this is impressive.

Trying to put this the simplest way I can, for the chapter, I like how this is going.

For the story, the only two people who seem to have power over changing the  state of the world are people who should have that power taken away as soon as possible.

If this weren’t all happening while Eren’s head was still falling to the ground, it would bother me less. But as things stand, nothing anyone else is doing has any impact on the story, and Eren and Zeke are impossible to root for.

That it’s probably by design doesn’t do much to make it more palatable.

Leading us into the only part of this post anyone is actually here for.

Eren.

The fuck.

I feel like it’s a fair thing to say that this might not be good.

Outside the usual realm of not good.

Also, now obligatory monthly mention that Eren looks a hell of a lot like Frieda and I want more to be done with that besides the current holder of Frieda’s memories murdering actual Frieda.

He fucking looks like Frieda.

This is why people thought Geographia was a female Eren. Even before his hair choices. Fight me.

As referenced earlier, I think a good chunk of Eren’s problem is that we’re finally dealing with the Attack Titan. Features include an immunity to the First King and the ability to see into the future.

With mixed conclusions about mindless raging.

Funny story about that! Your sons think differently. Have corpses receipts, can verify

...Hell, sorry about your life, Grisha.

(Side note, I’m pretty sure this panel is Frieda. Why? Because Isayama went to the trouble of making one of the long-haired Founders have their ears showing. That is literally the only way I can tell, and even then I’m only sure because Eren comes with a lot more extra shadow this chapter and the very next page.)

Okay, so. Uh.

Here’s where I wonder if I have the right caps for this comparison. I’m pretty sure I don’t yet. This noted time gap brought to you by me typing while I think even though no one reading this would ever know the difference.

The first thing that occurs to me is Mikasa, and cue the rabbit hole about her inheriting the Attack Titan and saying goodbye to Eren in their memories. Add in some bonus flavor about how in Trost, Mikasa’s vocalized motivation for living was being able to remember Eren. The Attack Titan is looking like a very good fit for her.

As for why Mikasa occurs, well!

Note that the key difference in these scenes is that Mikasa is encouraging Eren to transform so fewer of them will die. Eren is encouraging Grisha to transform so the Reiss family absolutely will die.

Sorry, ‘encouraging.’

I feel like I’m more at peace with some of Grisha’s interactions with Eren the last night of his life. As well as the display involved in killing the Reiss family. That’s always been one of the bloodier massacres we’ve played witness to. I passed it off as Grisha being unhinged by how badly everything was going and how it was all his fault, but...

T-tatakae?

-scrolls through images-

Hey so anyone else have fond memories of chapter 63? You know, back when Historia’s allegiance was in question because she was siding with her father and being a very generous-minded child about why Eren was strung up in chains and gagged?

Remember how she got all her memories of Frieda back and glared at Eren even though his father was the one who killed off her beloved older sister, and it was an amusing moment of irrationality in a sea of Historia having a low wisdom score?

Look at her glaring at the last person who deserves to be glared at over the massacre of the only family who treated her kindly!

...

Yikes?

Like, I don’t think she knows, because as tolerant as Historia is of people committing atrocities, Frieda is a sore point, but I think at this point, Isayama probably knew what actually went down with the bloodbath.

Easter eggs. Fun for the whole fandom.

In other fun news, I’ve made the comment several times that one of the sad points of Historia’s situation is Eren is her best friend, given how the story has limited her contact so thoroughly with the other people she cares about.

My brotp has seen better days.

The effect of Historia’s hand coming out of the darkness, Historia herself completely shrouded in the shadows as Eren takes it and discovers the worst moments of his life he hasn’t lived through yet...

Hell, the layout of this chapter is beautiful. All of it, including the very obvious descent into Eren being not quite right.

He’s unlocked the Attack Titan’s powers, and with it, I think a will that is more indomitable than anything Eren the person would have been okay with. Really, I don’t know how much of this is Attack Titan brain sickness, and how much is that Eren already saw himself doing all of this crap, so how bad was doing it one more time?

He’s lived through betraying his friends. He’s killed children. He’s killed the entire family of a friend who saved his life.

What’s doing it twice?

In the grand scheme of all Eren has seen, how bad is anything he’s done recently? Civilians are dead, but bad people are too. People who would hold power the wrong way.

I want to say that Eren’s choices are a result of the Attack Titan having a mind of its own, and between that and the other memories in Eren’s head, his intentions have been corrupted, but that’s mostly me trying to find a way for Eren, as he has been, to survive.

Eren looks at the Reiss family, sees his father hesitating, and takes the lead himself.

The Attack Titan can travel the Paths through time, and Eren, the character most angry about cages, decides that the way things were is the way things should be, even if what happened was wrong.

I realize it’s partly my priorities with the series which keeps the thread of fate so active a plot point in my mind. I’m always going to see Ymir demanding to know  why Kristoria’s strength hasn’t turned into trying to change her own fate as a key theme of the series.

Eren had choices.

Maybe something catastrophic would have happened, but nothing forced him to make his father murder the Reisses. Going by his expressions, he’s not entirely okay with it, and the second they step into that cavern he knows that he’s at the hard part...

But he still does it.

He chooses to let the story play out as he knows it instead of allowing his father’s kindness to change the world.

I don’t know what Eren plans to do with the Founder’s power. Evidence points to him still wanting a better world for the people born into it. He disdains Zeke’s plan.

Nothing about this screams that this is what he wants. There’s a person in Eren still, recognizable as the young boy who wrapped a scarf around a cold girl’s neck.

Eren’s eyes are firmly on Mikasa and Armin when he walks his memories of them. He’s ignoring Zeke completely to stare at the warmth of his childhood. That isn’t someone who’s completely lost.

Yet he still pulls the trigger on this.

This isn’t what the Eren we’re familiar with would call freedom; adhering to what happened in the past just because it already happened.

Fight. If you don’t fight, you can’t win.

Zeke isn’t fighting, for all he’s holding back Eren.

Eren’s fighting something, but holding to the path already plotted instead of changing it.

I can’t imagine what Eren saw to push him this far. He’s not happy. He’s not winning. Not even over Zeke. He’s lost the love and confidence of everyone who has ever cared for him

Frieda only transforms after Grisha does. She waits for him. She waits to see if peace wins out.

The Attack Titan, as ever, has other ideas.

Not good ones. Just. You know. Different ones.

In conclusion Eren is a Billie Eilish fan.

[thatyanderecritic]

Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi

Title: Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi

Media: Anime and Otome Game. Made by Little Cheese

Yandere(s): Ikuto Sonomura (& others)

Yandere Scale: 1/5

Criticism written by: Kai 

Editor: Julie

The Review:

Hey there everyone, Kai here with another review. This was a hentai anime that I knew about for quite a long time, but I never actually came around to watching it. It’s something I always seen as a gif and back in the day, finding good anime streaming sites were hard… especially for something that wasn’t that popular. So, when I saw the title on the list of yandere media that Julie wanted me to check out (y’all thought I was joking when I said “Julie gave me homework”), I knew this was the perfect chance to know what everyone is talking about. And boy, a part of me is glad that I watched it and the other part of me wished I never knew about this god forsaken series. That being said, on with the review.

Okay, so Kuro to Kin no Hirakanai Kagi is a story that can be easily summed up in a couple of sentences. Kanade Sonomura, the heroine, is some pathetic shut in who avoided high school because she’s a massive loser (the writers at Little Cheese are a creative bunch, huh?). But then one day, she magically wanted to go out and have a haircut. After giving her best performance of being the most cliched doormat MC, she got a haircut and got “empowered” to go back to school. And then romance and fucking, the end :) 

If you couldn’t tell, I found the anime to be insanely boring. A whole lot of nothing going on for a whole lot of “something” (I notice that this is a trend for all the stories I have to read/watch on this list). The only exciting thing was the sex and even that was “meh” at best since it’s so out of place because everything in between was dead air. I can’t even imagine what the otome game was like. That shit has to be unplayable. Slice of life is already a boring genre but slice of life with just nothing is even worse. Truth be told, I was at first wondering if I should apply the hentai tax here since there’s just so much “plot” in the anime before the actual ecchi scenes. There’s a difference between “plot with sex” vs. “sex with plot”. Plot with sex should be a story that’s able to stand on it’s own without the sex and still be considered something good. But sex with plot is when the plot is just bad without sex and it’s only there to give an excuse for the sex scene… basically acting as flavoring. Technically, either one is fine. Porn is porn but in the case of yanderes, it gives the character a weaker foundation. The character isn’t a “yandere” because of love but a “yandere” for lust. Let’s move on to the main course that people want to know, is Ikuto a yandere?

Barely. He’s just a hentai yandere. No substance and all flash. Just there to help you flick the bean then you toss him in the trash like a used tissue. Practically no yandere actions but a whole lotta rapey/hentai actions. I guess he says some cute yandere words and that’s about it. What’s laughable is the plot he was shoved in. And that “yandere” dream sequence doesn’t count. It’s a dream sequence, not reality. Would have preferred if this was just a straight up hentai… he might have a higher score. But the ending was kinda fucked up where he yelled to both his school’s and the neighboring school’s student population.

Yo, I was tripping balls when I saw this part. He literally said “Big sister is my girlfriend.” For a moment, I thought I was in Alabama, bruh. Straight up hentai logic with everyone cheering them and voting them as best couple. I already said I’m desensitized to incest and other kinks but you don’t do this shit in public!!!

But I’m sure you’re all wondering about the otome game version. I know I was. Apparently, Kuro to Kin is actually a yandere otome game! All the guys are supposed to be yanderes. Originally, this was supposed to be a review on Ikuto but I decided to toss all the other guys in too. And I’m safe to say that they’re all ⅕ too. That anime is literally the otome game. Boring slice of life plot and porn… an otome game that’s a porn with plot game. All the routes look pretty much the same but different sex positions. And the yandere actions are downright laughable… even the reviewers in the reviews I read all agree in saying “You’re calling these guys yanderes?!” Some of the guys are a little creepier than others but not by much tbh. They’re strong in one aspect and just lose points in others.

For those who are wondering about the yandere score: -1 point for hentai tax, -1 for lack of yandere actions besides jealousy, -1 point of just weak background for a yandere, -1 for just being yandere out of the blue for no real reason. They’re literally hanging on by a thread with a pity point since I acknowledge that these guys are only fuck dolls who are yanderes because of #kink. Hentai characters aren’t known for being dynamic characters.

Anyways, anime is wack. Otome game is wack. All the guys are yandere enough for a person to enjoy a good wank.

PS: the anime quality is literally the same quality as a normal hentai. Y’all can’t tell me this shit ain’t a hentai.

Overall Score: 3/10

[violetsmoak]

Appetence [10/?]

AO3 Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251420/chapters/47997634

Blanket Disclaimer

Summary: Red Robin is investigating the disappearance of a friend and stumbles into a spot of supernatural trouble. He doesn’t expect to be saved by Jason Todd, miraculously alive five years after his death and now with the inexplicable ability to commune with the dead. Meanwhile, when Jason returned to Gotham he meant to maintain a low profile and not get involved with Bat business. That was before he found out how hot his Replacement is.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: N/A

First Chapter

________________________________________________________________

Tim swerves into the Cave, skidding into the parking area with a little less finesse than usual. He’s got a shivering Batgirl bracketed between his arms on the bike, not having wanted to risk her falling off the back of it while they drove. He’s got a nasty case of frostbite on his shoulder himself, courtesy of a cold grenade in the wrong place and the wrong time.

He was helping Batgirl and Signal with the clean-up after Freeze’s latest temper tantrum and accidentally triggered the blast. Steph shoved him out of the way, taking the full brunt, and it was only due a quick reaction time and a few well-placed portable heating disks that she hadn’t been flash frozen.

She might not have any major lingering damage—she was well enough to request going to the Cave because of Alfred’s tendency to make homemade soup whenever any of them have a less than stellar encounter with Freeze—but Tim’s anxious to get her warmed up as soon as possible.

Also, he needs to treat his own injury.

“If-f I get a cold I’m k-killing Freeze,” Steph mumbles as Tim helps her off the bike and walks her toward the medical bay. “There’s nothing w-worse than a summer cold.”

“Says the woman who survived being used as a human pincushion.”

“It’s a d-different kind of misery.”

There are several heating blankets already plugged in and ready, and Steph is already peeling herself out of her uniform with shaking hands. Tim does the same, tossing aside tunic and body armor to rummage in a drawer for the special heating plasters; they warm an affected area gradually, making them perfect for frostbite.

“Geez, Tim, you been sk-skipping meals again?” Steph reproaches, frowning at him in his shirtless state. “Seeing a lot more rib than usual.”

“You’d do well to take a page out of his book, Brown,” Damian’s voice snarks from the doorway, loitering in all his scowling twelve-year-old glory. “I’m surprised your suit doesn’t split down the back when you move.”

“Shut up, Damian.”

“No, Tim, I got th-this,” Steph pipes up and then shoots the youngest Robin a steely smile. “I’ve g-got Martha Kent’s email. Wonder what she’ll have to s-s-say when she hears about Dami fat-shaming people.”

“You! You are not in contact with her!”

Damian isn’t exactly prone to flushing considering his complexion, but whenever he gets upset or embarrassed, red creeps across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. That, and the minute raising us his eyebrows suggests he’s more rattled by the threat than he pretends.

“I might be,” Steph allows. “You really wanna t-take that chance?”

Damian scowls at that, fists clenched, and then seems to decide not to risk it. It’s like watching the air be let out of a balloon.

Tim whistles.

“How is it a Kansas housewife has managed something not even two versions of Batman and the League of Assassins could?” he asks, somewhat awed.

“Pie and mom-guilt, I think,” Steph suggests.

“Clearly.”

“Hilarious,” Damian deadpans, facing Tim and doing his best to ignore Steph. “If you’re finished casting aspersions on my upbringing, perhaps you can make yourself useful.”

Tim raises an eyebrow at him.

“Father was distracted tonight,” the kid continues. “He won’t explain and Richard’s not here to do…whatever it is he does that makes him somewhat normal again.”

Tim blinks, having not expected that. “What exactly do you think I can do about that?”

“It’s no secret you and Father are experiencing “issues”,” Damian says and uses honest-to-goodness air quotes. “Perhaps seeing you will irritate him into letting something slip.”

“I highly d-doubt Bruce is that upset that he’ll unclench long enough to tell T-Tim anything,” Steph sniggers.

“Perhaps not, but once Drake strikes out I can ask Father after a requisite amount of time has passed and under less fraught circumstances than directly after a fight. He’ll be more likely to confide in me.”

“Right,” Tim drawls. “Because that has a snowball’s chance in hell of working. Pass. How do you even come up with these ideas, anyway?”

“It’s a simple enough ruse, Drake. Jon says it is called “tag-teaming”.”

Again, with the air quotes; clearly Damian’s latest visit to the Kent farm came with another dose of ‘how-to-be-a-real-boy’ lessons.

“And if you think Bruce is gonna fall for that and magically open up about something he doesn’t want to talk about, you haven’t been paying attention the past few years.”

“That’s not what this is,” Steph says, squinting at Damian like she’s trying to read his mind or something. “You’re worried.”

“I am no such thing!”

“You’ve gotta be since you’re asking Tim for a team-up.”

“I am not!”

“Good, because I’m not interested,” Tim says. “Whatever Bruce is brooding about will come out. It always does. Try prying it out of him beforehand and he’ll get cagey and mean about it.”

I know what that feels like, and I wouldn’t even wish it on you, demon-brat.

“Fine, don’t do anything,” Damian growls. “I should have known you would be too pig-headed and cowardly to approach Father while you’re in this pointless...detente.” He turns on his heel. “You’re as useless as I’ve always thought. Good to know it’s been confirmed.”

He stalks away.

Tim sighs and stares at the ceiling. “I guess on a scale of one to stabbed-in-the-chest, that went okay?”

“You two seriously need to deal with your drama,” Steph sighs, shifting beneath her blanket. “And you should go figure out what prompted all that. He really is worried. And hurt, now that you shot him down.”

“His entire existence has been dedicated to shooting me down,” Tim points out. “Literally sometimes.”

“Don’t exaggerate. Not his entire existence.”

“You know what I mean.”

“He’s a kid, Tim. One with a shitty childhood, a massive inferiority complex and who’s about to enter the super-fun world of puberty. And he came to you. Not me, or Dick—”

“Dick’s in New York.”

“Dick’s a phone call away and if Damian really wanted to go get him, he’d have stolen a car and gone to him. But he came to you. Probably because he knows as well as any of us that you’re the most Bruce-like and can talk to Mr. McBroody when he’s at his most pod-person level of weird.”

“Funny, I didn’t hear any of that beyond the constant insults.”

“He’s just jealous.”

“And that gives him a free pass?”

But his question sounds whiny even to him, and he sighs as Steph crosses her arms at him.

“When did you start becoming so wise and all-knowing?” Tim grumbles.

“Search me. I guess I just woke up one day and bam! All the secrets of the universe were just waiting for me to share them with the unwashed masses. Like you. You reek, by the way.”

“Right, because you smell like a rose.”

“Thanks!” Steph chirps unrepentantly.

“I think you are getting a cold,” Tim grumbles and starts out of the med bay. “The snot’s clearly going to your head and cutting off brain flow along with your sense of smell. I should go see if Alfred’s got anything to fix that.”

“Hot chocolate please!” she calls after him. “And don’t skimp on the mini marshmallows!”

“You know the way to the kitchen.”

But he’s already climbing the stairs and heading for the main computer dock. Tim was responsible for a different sector of the city, but it took longer than normal to get the all-clear. Maybe Bruce is distracted—if so, it would have to be something pretty serious.

Maybe Selina’s back in town…

“My god…!” he hears Alfred say as Tim reaches the top of the stone staircase. 

Bruce is seated, Alfred behind him and holding on to the back of the chair so tight the knuckles on his hands have turned white.

“Are you…are you quite sure, Master Bruce?” he asks, the question faint.

“I’m sure,” Bruce replies. “I was sure at the cemetery.” Tim’s ears perk up at that. “And these results…they just confirm it. He’s alive. Somehow…somehow, Jason’s alive.”

Tim freezes in mid-step.

Well…so much for me having to tell them…

He’s relieved.

He thinks.

The situation with Jason has been on his mind the whole week, and he’s never had a harder time keeping a secret than he did trying to stick to his promise to Jason. It’s been a constant struggle between his loyalty to Bruce—remembering how shattered he was in the weeks and months following Jason’s death—and his respect for Jason, a potential ally, friend and maybe one day family.

(He’s been doing his best to shut down the ‘inappropriate childhood crush’ angle during his mental justifications.)

Usually, Tim is good at separating his emotions from making hard decisions, but this time it’s…well. He blames it on still being in a state of shock that Jason is alive and that he has been alive all this time.

And he didn’t come back for some reason, and even now doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Family.

So why come back to Gotham at all, then?

“…looked him in the eyes,” Bruce is saying, in the same tone he uses to profile criminals. That’s troubling. “He’s as determined as ever. I’m not sure if there’s a broader reason for his return—for his…his avoidance. But I have a good idea. It will need confirmation; someone will have to keep an eye on him—”

“Master Bruce,” Alfred interrupts, tone breathless and almost indignant. “This is not some criminal mastermind or domestic terrorist. This is your—”

“I’m aware,” Bruce interrupts. “But there’s too much unaccounted for. He had a lot to say and still didn’t give anything away.” He rubs at his chin in thought. “He knew things, Alfred. Information on events he wasn’t present for—that were not shared in the media.”

Tim goes still, suddenly beset with a sense of foreboding.

“He’s communicating with someone,” Bruce goes on in manic calculation. “Someone knew he was alive. He said…'replacement’.”

Well, frack.

Tim begins to take a step back and nearly knocks into Damian, who’s crept up behind him with his usual maddening silence.

“Watch it, Drake!”

Damian’s voice echoes and Tim winces, head whipping around to glare at the boy.

Double frack.

There are moments—few and far between the actual assassination attempts and sabotage—where Damian displays all the bad timing that only younger siblings seem to possess. This is definitely one of those moments.

When he looks back, Bruce is already on his feet and stalking over, cape whipping behind him and expression like a thundercloud.

Damian, for his part, doesn’t seem to realize what he just did as he watches his father in surprise. This is echoed by Steph, who has followed him over, no longer wrapped in the blanket but wearing one of the generic sweatshirts that they keep stored in the recovery area.

Conveniently, they’re both blocking Tim’s nearest means of escape.

And now Bruce is towering over the three of them, eyes flicking briefly across each face, before zeroing in on Tim, who tenses.

“You,” he determines. “You knew.”

Annoyance pricks at Tim. There are two other people beside him, why does Bruce automatically think it’s him.

“Knew what?” Damian demands.

“Not now, Damian.”

“If Drake has committed some monumental blunder, I should—”

“Oh my god,” Steph gasps, her eyes roving past everyone to stare at the computer screen. The DNA comparison is still bright and clear, and in the background the picture of a young Jason Todd is unmistakable. “Is that…?”

“Jason Todd,” Damian reads stiffly, clearly recognizing the name. He scans the relevant information, including the date of the most recent DNA sample. “Todd is alive?”

“So it would seem,” Alfred confirms faintly.

“You’ve been feeding him information,” Bruce accuses Tim, and it’s almost a hiss. “You’re the replacement he mentioned.”

“Technically he had three,” Tim points out if only to try to stall.

“Aside from the fact you’re the only one here who doesn’t look surprised, he referred to a male.” Something passes over his expression, almost a grimace as if he’d rather not think of something, before he continues. “And if it were Damian, he would have informed me immediately.” He takes a step forward, the stony and emotionless countenance of Batman firmly in place. Tim half expects those thick gauntleted arms to grab him and hoist him in the air like so many an unlucky criminal. “You knew Jason was alive. And you didn’t say anything.”

“No,” Tim says, at last, deciding he might as well own it. “I didn’t.”

“Why?”

The sound is primal and broken, somewhere between a hiss and a growl. Tim is aware of the gazes upon him—Bruce’s anger, Alfred’s hurt, Steph’s confusion and Damian looking torn between satisfaction at Tim’s discomfort and agitation at his father’s obvious agitation.

“There were a few factors,” Tim admits. “First of all—”

“Factors?” Bruce barks. “This isn’t an experiment, Tim! This is my—this is Jason—!”

“And he asked me not to say anything!” Tim shoots back. “I figured after everything he’s been through, the least he deserved is someone listening to him.”

Trapped in an asylum and forgotten about? He deserves more than that…

“You never met him! There’s no way you could have been sure it was him, and even so—”

“I didn’t know him?!” Tim challenges. “There are a couple hundred pictures I took that say different! Or have you forgotten how I even got involved in all this?” He sweeps his hand around the cave. “I saw him enough at events when my parents were alive to recognize him, and even if I hadn’t, how many times did you make me go over his file when I started? Foster care records and psychological profile and autopsy reports! Since you needed me to be extra aware of what could happen to me if I screwed up as a Robin? And you might never talk about him around me, but Dick always did. Alfred too, sometimes.”

“That still doesn’t excuse your lack of discretion! You were foolish to interact with him—to make that decision without consulting with me, not least of all compromising the mission by sharing information that could expose everyone—”

“What exactly would I be compromising?” Tim shoots back. “Anyone who could impersonate Jason that well, who could talk about the things we did would already know where all the skeletons are buried. I doubt there’s much I could say that he didn’t already know, and you…you didn’t see him, okay?”

Tim’s defensiveness falters a little here, remembering how tense Jason had been throughout their whole encounter. He was thrown-off, uncomfortable, angry…and he was also trying his best not to let on how curious he was about how the family was doing.

But Bruce only bristles. “You still should have told me the minute you suspected—”

“Told you what?! ‘Hey, so, guess what, I ran into Jason last night. Yeah, that Jason, your son that got killed by the J—”

The name gets stuck in his throat, like his esophagus is closing, causing a crack he knows no one misses. Bruce winces and Steph’s confusion becomes worried. He needs to take an extra breath before he can force himself to keep talking.

“Killed by an explosion’,” he finishes. “We both know you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you he was alive and in Gotham.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Bruce. We both know exactly how it would have played out. I’d tell you what happened, you would tell me how impossible it is. You’d say stuff like you’d know if anyone had disturbed his gravesite, or that I’m stressed out or paranoid or under the influence of Ivy or Crane. Or you’d accuse me of making an inappropriate joke, and then we wouldn’t be talking again for a while.”

For a moment, Bruce looks hurt and a little guilty—probably because he knows it’s true.

“You would never lie about something like that,” he says at last. “If you believed Jason had returned, I would have trusted you enough to look into it.”

“And how was I supposed to know that? It’s not like you and I have exactly been all about great communication and understand since Captain Boomerang and Mr. Freeze.”

“I’ve been…giving you time.”

“Funny how giving me time looks a lot like avoiding me.”

“Master Timothy, that is quite enough,” Alfred interrupts at last.

All of his defensiveness toward Bruce vanishes in the guilt he feels for contributing to that look on Alfred’s face.

“I didn’t stay quiet to hurt anyone,” he tries to assure the old man. “And I was going to tell you all. But Jason asked for a week. For breathing room, I guess. I was going to tell you today—yesterday, really, if Freeze hadn’t shown up.”

“So you say,” Damian needles.

Tim ignores him. “I’d say it’s a coincidence that you found out tonight some other way, but considering what Jason’s into these days, maybe not.”

Bruce blinks in realization. “You know he’s a medium.”

“Yes, I know he’s a—wait.” Tim stops abruptly. “He’s what?” He knew Jason was working with the occult, sure, but this? “That part I missed.”

“He sees dead people?” Steph asks. “That kind of medium? Because I loved that show.”

Suddenly the reasons for Jason being sent to Arkham make so much more sense. Waking from his coma and suddenly be surrounded by ghosts? If he spoke to or acknowledged them, no wonder the staff thought he was hearing voices.

“Wait, how did you find out?” Tim asks, frowning. “You were talking about a cemetery before—that’s not exactly your jurisdiction.”

“Gordon put me on a case involving grave desecrations,” Bruce grunts. “That’s where I ran into Jason.”

“Literally or figuratively?”

Bruce is silent.

Tim groans. “Please tell me you didn’t attack him.”

More silence and Tim massages the bridge of his nose tiredly.

As if he wasn’t gun-shy about reconnecting with the Family before, now he’s probably going to leave for another five years…

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” Steph says to Damian in a conversational tone.

“In case you’re forgetting, Brown, I’ve been dead and resurrected, so it’s not exactly a novelty.”

“Master Damian,” Alfred reprimands quietly.

No one likes to talk about that year.

“I just meant you’re not great at sharing, and now you’ve got another brother showing up—”

“Tt. We are not brothers. Any relation on paper ceased when he died.”

“Damian.” Bruce’s voice is sharp as a whip, and his eyes flash in warning. “I don’t ever want to hear that again.”

It’s not the most chastising he’s ever been, but Damian’s jaw snaps shut, and he swallows heavily.

Tim shouldn’t be bothered by the interchange, but he’s still hit by a pang of hurt and irritation. A dark, twisting little voice whispers at him, letting a longtime anxiety flicker back to the surface.

Of course, Bruce steps in and calls out Damian’s behavior when it’s Jason. Is it because Jason was his son longer? Or because Bruce chose Jason? Like he chose Dick and Cassandra. He’s even started choosing Duke now.

He never chose Tim. Not really. Tim just showed up and inserted himself into things.

Damian just showed up too, but he’s got that whole blood connection that he’s so proud of. Tim’s not—

Tim is like Steph. An outsider.

Maybe it’s why they connected to well back then—because they were the two that Bruce tried to stop from joining the life. Grudging allies, never quite family.

“I’m going to go,” Tim murmurs, turning and heading for his bike. “Wouldn’t want to get in the middle of a family meeting.”

“Tim—”

“You should probably call Dick,” he goes on. “He should find out about Jason from you this time.”

“Tim, stop—”

“I have therapy in three hours,” Tim cuts him off, “so I need at least some sleep.”

There’s no response then, not that Tim expected anything. His therapy sessions are sacrosanct; even Batman won’t interrupt Tim’s continued attendance. Tim’s always hated that, feeling as if he’s being overprotected, but right now, all he feels is a sense of relief.

To Be Continued 

________________________________________________________________

I want to know what you think of my story! Leave kudos, a comment or if writing comments isn’t something you’re comfortable with, as many of these (or other emojis) as you want and let me know how you feel!

❤️️ = I love this story! 😳 = this was hot! 💐 = thank you for sharing this 🍵 = tea spilled 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy! 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good! 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER 😢 = you got me right in the feels

Reblogging is also majorly appreciated!

[doktorocelot]

Google Pixel 3 XL Review

The Beginning

The Google Pixel is a phone series with a cult following. It's beloved for its smooth, light stock Android experience. However, I've been hearing some major controversy about Pixel 3. My carrier has been AT&T my entire life, and they don't natively carry the Pixel; I'd have to buy it unlocked. So, I skipped on the Pixel 1 and went for a Samsung Galaxy S8+.

Unfortunately, I carelessly dropped the phone on its curved edge and completely shattered the screen. I was devastated, but the phone was nearing the end of the two-year cycle. I've used a few phones in my day: the iPhone 3GS, iPhone 5, Samsung Galaxy S6, Samsung Galaxy S8+ and Google Pixel 3XL. However, as a child/teenager, I didn't have to pay for my own phone, and I was very thankful to be lucky enough to receive this technology. After shattering the Galaxy S8+, I didn't have the selfishness ask my parents to buy a new phone for me; therefore, I had to make a decision on what to do next.

I considered my options. Since I wanted to purchase my own phone, I wasn't limited to what my carrier provided. This was my chance to buy a Pixel! So I went on the Google Store, full of excitement until I noticed something. A Pixel 3 started at $799! That's quite expensive for a stock Android phone; there's the Essential Phone, which starts at $499, and the OnePlus 6T, which starts at $549. I needed to figure out what the Pixel 3 had over these other phones, and some would tell you it's not worth the extra money.

I did some more research and found out that Pixel phones were indeed the first to receive Android updates; if I bought a Pixel 3, I, assumably, would experience Android 9, 10 and 11 throughout the phone's lifespan. This is huge for a software nerd like myself, and that's the deal with the Pixel phones: you're paying more for the software than the hardware. However, I don't care about how good the software is, because the prices of the Pixel phones are gross. Google had a massive chance to undercut the competition by pricing this phone lower and attract more customers, but they didn't. As a result, many people who considered the phone won't buy it because it's too expensive.

Regardless, after all of the research I did, I decided I was going to try something new, and I bought a Google Pixel 3 XL. I went with Google Store Financing, so I'll be paying for this phone for two years. I've had it for about a month and a half now, so I'm going to review the handset based on that time.

The First Impression

The packaging is premium, but I don't fucking care. I don't buy a mobile for the packaging, so I unboxed the phone and set the deluxe packaging aside, never to be seen again. The naked phone looks really good; I really like Google's two-tone style, but there's wasted opportunity with that, which I'll get into later. Anyway, I decided to put the phone into a case immediately because I can't afford to break this one, and since there isn't a curved screen, it shouldn't instantly shatter if I drop it.

The phone's setup was easy, as expected, and worked instantly with the AT&T sim card I put into it. It even came with an ejection tool, which Apple should take notes from. It also came with a headphone dongle — as there is no headphone jack — something that Apple should take notes from. Included was a charging cable with a fast-charging brick, something Apple should take notes from. At this point, some of you may be getting annoyed by my comparing the included accessories to Apple, but you've got to remember: the iPhone X🅂 starts at $999. While I still believe the Pixel 3 and 3 XL are unbelievably priced, at least they give you a damned 3.5mm audio to USB Type-C and fast charging brick.

The phone also came with a set of wired USB Type-C headphones, and these things are super weird. In short, I personally don't like them, but some people do. My favourite earbuds are still Samsung OEM buds because they're very comfortable and sound great. However, I give props to Google for including a nice set of USB Type-C headphones, even if I personally find them uncomfortable.

The Elephant in the Room

I just need to get to this as soon as possible, because I really don't even want to write about it. Everybody's been talking about it, but in case you haven't noticed, the Google Pixel 3 XL has a display cutout. The notch at the top of the screen has been the talking point of many sad people who ride on controversy for views and revenue, including someone who made a five and a half minute video about it. In this video, they whine about a design on a phone they don't have to buy and then are confused why the developer options have different settings for different possible cutouts. Maybe it's for developers to test how their app works on different phones, dude. They also said that Google never justified the notch, even though the phone has dual speakers and dual front-facing cameras.

If you're like me and happen to be an adult, you'll quickly find that the notch doesn't really matter. I'm speaking for myself, but when I use my smartphone, I tend to look at the part of the phone that is the screen, not the part that isn't. Regardless, while it isn't intended for consumer use, you can use the developer options to disable the notch get a more traditional look if you desire to buy a phone with the extra screen and then not use it. However, then I hear people complain that they're losing the screen real estate when they do that. At this point, I needed to take a second to double take because I thought they didn't want the screen there. No, apparently, they want the notch area to be black, so it looks like there isn't a notch, but it still puts the status bar there. This isn't a native option in Pixel phones, but I'm just hoping Google adds this feature so they can shut up about it. Alternatively, there’s an app that does this. If you don't want the notch, you could always buy the Pixel 3, which exists. I'm telling you, though, Pixel 3 XL owners usually don't care about it.

The Screen

Now that I've finally written about the part that isn't the screen, I'll write about the screen. This is the part where I get really annoyed because the Pixel 3 XL's screen has been undergoing two bits of misinformation; I need to address these. First, a lot of people have been saying that the Pixel 3 XL is using a P-OLED screen, instead of an AMOLED screen. This incorrect assumption has led to reviewers' arbitrarily saying the screen is worse because the letters of its name are different from AMOLED. For example, there's a video from the channel, 'Learn How To Edit Stuff', where he proceeds to use a bunch of jumpcuts to get to a point where he says that he liked the iPhone's AMOLED screen better than a P-OLED display. This is such a sad example of a placebo because the Pixel 3 XL uses a Samsung AMOLED screen. This was according to a teardown of the device:

In the name of science, we opt to dismantle our display to learn from whence it came…It's a Samsung! Rumors were all over the place, but it looks like Google is going with Samsung's trusty AMOLED panels this year.

-iFixit (Source)

The Pixel 3 — you know, the small version that exists — is the one that uses a P-OLED display. I'm not sure why Google used two different screens, but whatever.

The second 'issue' I've seen going around is the display's brightness. In fact, I've seen a lot of people say that the screen is too dim. They mention how, on other phones, they keep their brightness at around 50%, but on the Google Pixel 3, they have to set it to approximately 80%, thus killing the battery life. A dim screen would really be a dealbreaker for me… but you know, it's funny; if I were to drop a considerable amount of money a phone that I'm going to use for the next two years, and I had an issue with it, I'd be sure to research it to get more information, rather than just claiming it as an issue and move on. Here's the truth: Android 9 changed the brightness slider completely. The Android developers changed it from a linear scale to a new scale that complements the human's perception of brightness. As a result, what was at 50% is now at around 80% because the slider now appears to work smoothly. The battery won't drain faster because the number is higher than before since the brightness is the exact fucking same.

The Problems

Let me break up this Google-jizzing attitude to explain that this phone, like every other phone, is not perfect. I'm going to put the negatives that I experienced because I want to be fair with this phone. However, do understand that I still find that the upsides heavily outweigh the downsides.

I've personally been having issues with the fingerprint reader. Sometimes, it just won't recognise my fingerprint at all, no matter how much I wipe down both ends. However, other reviewers have said that the fingerprint reader works every time so your mileage may vary.

The Android 9 gesture navigation has really grown on me, but there's one problem I have with it. If you swipe up from the bottom, you get to the recent apps page. If you swipe up again, you get to the app drawer. Supposedly, if you long swipe, you can get instantly to the app drawer, but I find this very difficult to do quickly. I feel like I have to bring my finger up the entire screen slowly to get it to work, and it just really breaks the flow for me.

For some reason, when I watch YouTube videos, the equalisation of the audio varies. Sometimes, I'll get bass-boosted sound when I start the video, but if I skip around the video, the equalisation randomly changes to have more treble. I don't know why it does that, and I can't seem to find anything about it online.

These are some of the minor issues I've been having, but nothing so far has really stuck out to me as significant. So far, my experience with this phone has been pretty solid, and I'm really enjoying it.

The UI

Remember, I was on a Samsung phone before they had One UI, so the change to stock Android was really drastic. Instantly, I felt like the whole phone was just prettier and smoother. The UI was flat, beautiful and, dare I say, gradient-free! I've always had a soft spot for Material Design, so it was finally nice to have my phone be using it for almost everything.

The Pixel launcher is really lovely, too. It's snappy and easy to use. The Google feed to the left is handy, and I appreciate the choice to put a Google search bar at the bottom for easy access. The top of the launcher shows the time and weather, and when a calendar event is coming up, it shows that event and the time remaining until it occurs.

The Not Bloated System

I love the fact that this phone doesn't come with stuff I don't need. In fact, it was the biggest reason I wanted this phone. Yes, I know rooting exists, but I didn't want to do it. This phone comes with the bare essentials, and gone are the days of having two calendar apps because Samsung insists that I use theirs, even though it's shit. I don't have to hide apps anymore with a third-party launcher. Some people say it's weird to brag about fewer features, but in this case, less is more. If I want an app, I'll go to the Play Store and grab it.

The Missed Opportunity

I need to go back to the negatives because I want to talk about something important. Many people may laugh at Energizer's hyperthick phone, but I think it's crucial for smartphone companies to start experimenting with more innovation. This is where Google's two-tone design can be taken advantage of: it's perfect for adding a user-replaceable battery. The Samsung Galaxy S5 showed that it's possible to have a water-resistant phone with a user-removable battery so this could have been Google's chance to add in a great feature that a lot of people miss. If they did that, as well as cut the price down a bit, then I think a lot more people would have a higher interest in buying this phone.

The Conclusion

I didn't go into every little detail about the phone, but I just wanted to give a general review a few things and also to refute some arguments against the phone. There's the big question which asks 'should I buy the Google Pixel 3?' The truth, however, is something I haven't heard any other reviewer say: I don't know what you want. You know what you want. If you're looking to buy a phone, you need to weigh all of the pros and cons of the phones and see which one works for you.

For example, a Pixel 3 doesn't have expandable memory, but if you don't care about that, then it isn't going to bother you. The other bit of the reality is that many of the big tech reviewers switch phones every two weeks or so. Average consumers like you and me usually keep their phones for a minimum of two years. We buy the phone, look at it and say 'this is going to be my smartphone for the next two years or so', and that really changes perspective. Things take time to grow on you, and the Pixel 3 XL really grew on me. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week!

[sincognito]

And So The Dragons Fell From Grace | Chapter 2.

Pairing: Spicyhoney (Mapleblossom and papgore will be later).

Universe: Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell (both versions).

Warnings: Slavery, Speciesism, Kidnapping, other chapters will be tagged for other content.

Overview: Rus is mindlessly beginning to settle in with his new routine, slowly beginning to forget any plans of escape he may have had. However, eventually, his past will catch up to him.

A/N: Second chapter of the fic, there’s a little jump from the last chapter to this one, but it’s nothing major :3

Previous | Next

Read on AO3: HERE

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The days that followed seemed to progress at an agonisingly slow pace. The dragon, Edge, would leave at dawn before Rus woke to begin his patrol of his territory, scouting out the nearby mountain ranges for any trace of intruders, before returning just before midday. More often than not the skeletal reptile would return with a fresh catch – usually wild elk or the occasional sheep or cow – that he would quickly devour, leaving not a scrap for Rus. The skeleton knew better than to disturb a dragon while feeding.

After his meal, Edge would return to his pile of gold, curling up in it with a pleasant hum as his body converted the newly eaten flesh into usable magic to fuel his soul. Rus had quickly learnt that the dragon was not one for simply lazing about, and while he lay still to digest, he was constantly filling the air with conversation, albeit largely one sided. His claws would tap at the floor with poorly veiled restlessness as he eagerly awaited his chance to move around again. And move he could.

One afternoon Rus had walked to the opening of the dragon’s lair and had been rewarded with the stunning sight of Edge as he effortlessly spiralled up beyond the clouds, before abruptly shifting direction and allowing his massive body to plummet down towards the ground, halting his dissent just in time for him to gracefully switch to a swift glide, swooping down low over the trees. It was in that moment that Rus felt his hope of escape begin to slip further away.

It was on a particularly warm evening that Rus had finally decided to explore the cave in greater detail. With most of the vast cavern lit only by the small torch he clutched firmly in his fragile hands, he cautiously began to examine all of the intricate carvings of mighty dragons on the walls and pillars that seemed to hold up the entire ceiling above them. As he slowly moved, he came to realise that the dragon depicted in all of the art was in fact the same one.

While the drawings offered only little information about it, Rus found his mind wandering – what colour had its beautiful scales been? Did they flicker in the light like the gems it horded? – if one thing was for certain, it was that whoever the dragon had been, it was greatly adored by the humans of the valley. There were images of the dragon keeping their land safe from invaders and offering its service to all who needed it, acting as a benevolent protector and friend.  

The clacking of bone against stone drew Rus’ attention and he glanced away from the carved walls to watch as Edge approached, his head low as if trying not to frighten off the monster. Not that he had anywhere to run anyway.

“What are you doing?” the dragon rumbled, his eyes narrowing slightly, “I thought you were going to retire for the evening.” Originally Rus had stated that he would go to bed early but had perhaps been too absorbed by his imagination, thinking up fanciful scenes of humans and monsters living at peace with dragons. It was a foolish, naïve idea, but weren’t all stories about love and happy endings fabricated by the mind of a hopeful child?

“I was just looking at the carvings,” he explained, motioning to the pillar beside him with the torch, “but I can head off to bed if you would prefer, master.”

The dragon hummed to itself for a moment, its eyes scanning over the art as a distant look began to take over his face, “They loved their dragon,” Edge finally breathed, his eyes seeming to lose their normal focus, “They built him shrines and would provide him an offering at the beginning of every spring in thanks.”

“How do you know?” He knew it was improper for him to question a dragon without invitation, but Edge either didn’t seem to notice or didn’t mind the inquiry.

“I remember it.” He said simply with a soft puff of smoke, turning away to signal the end of their conversation. The answer had done nothing but further his confusion and for a moment Rus simply stood staring dumbly, even after the dragon had returned to its pile of treasure to prepare for his inevitable slumber.

Realising he was making an even larger fool of himself the longer he continued to watch, he quickly made his way towards his own sleeping quarters. He had a small bed, a slightly worn pillow and a small pile of plush blankets to pick from. It was a rather humble set-up, but it was far superior than sleeping on the floor. While it wasn’t exactly a closed off room, he still received a pleasant amount of privacy from the way his sleeping area was dug deep into the side of one of the cave’s walls.

Taking a moment to release some of the tension in his back with a few cracks, Rus swiftly moved to removing his hoodie, noting with a slight frown that it was due to be washed. He was just about to begin taking off his shorts and was more than a little startled when a large head appeared at the entrance to his room causing him to jerk slightly.

Upon noticing what Rus was doing Edge made a sound unbefitting of his fearsome appearance, immediately aborting whatever he had planned and retreating back around the corner once more. The sound of valuables clinking was enough of a signal that the dragon had gone back to his horde, obviously deciding against speaking to Rus again.

It hadn’t really registered with Rus that the dragon wasn’t exactly a real dragon but a monster in possession of a dragon’s soul until that point. He could feel his skull warming slightly as he considered Edge’s reaction as the reaction of another person, another skeleton just like him. He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it but decided that standing half naked in his room wasn’t going to help him decipher his emotions.

The following morning Edge was acting completely normal – leaving early on patrol, taking some time to track down a meal and then sleeping it off – his mind no longer lingered on the concerns he had held the evening just passed and he was quick to return to routine. While Rus was by no means the cleanest monster out there, he had quickly learnt that if his cleaning skills were not up to par he would be rather harshly reprimanded; the scars that lined his back were a testament to that. He had yet to see Edge’s true ire and if he could he would try his utmost to keep it that way.

His morning was spent sweeping out all of the leaves and dust that had blown into the dragon’s cave during the night – a surprising amount of work due to how enormous the cave was – and he was only just finishing up when Edge had returned from his morning meal. Rus shivered slightly as he watched the fat drops of crimson drip from the dragon’s maw, a tongue snaking its way from his mouth to lick away the final remainder of whatever it was he had hunted down.

With a soft sigh Edge stretched out his joints like some sort of overgrown cat, his chest vibrating slightly as he prepared to sleep off his breakfast as normal. His eyes scanned the cave, seeming to roll over each and every one of the dragon’s possessions in turn, including Rus himself. Once satisfied that nothing was out of place, he happily padded over to his usual napping place.

Before Edge could completely settle in to sleep Rus finally managed to find his voice, “I-I need to clean some of my clothes down by the stream,” he began, pausing slightly when the dragon narrowed his eyes on him suspiciously, “With your permission, of course, master.”

Edge tilted his head to the side briefly in what seemed to be contemplation before growling slightly, “Fine. But don’t even consider running away,” he hissed, his tail thrashing in obvious agitation, knocking a large antique wardrobe over. Dragons hated letting their possessions out of their sight, and for Rus to leave Edge’s den while he slept? It was no wonder the reptile was anxious.

Rus gave a slightly awkward bow, “I wouldn’t dream of it, your eternal eminence.” The flattery seemed to at least calm the dragon, even if only slightly, as he merely waved for the smaller skeleton to leave in feigned disinterest. Unfortunately, the regal effect was ruined by the way he seemed to preen at the compliment.

He was able to hold in a snicker until he was finally outside the cave, it was rather entertaining to watch how easy dragons were to please. They were by no means dull, simple creatures, but it was almost ridiculously easy to play into their good graces with a few sweet words and admiring looks from afar. Perhaps Edge just wanted someone to tell him he looked handsome every morning. Thinking back on it, he wouldn’t exactly put it past the dragon to do such a thing.

The woodland air was clean and crisp, the scent of fresh pine heavy in the air. The smell filled Rus’ nose with a familiarity that had his heart aching and his mind wandering to a simpler, kinder time when everyone was safe. The sun above shone strong, and yet, it almost seemed that underground the world had been brighter.

Rus could see the nearby village in the distance at the base of the mountain. A kindly old lady had allowed him to stay in her stable one evening, even going as far as to bring him breakfast when he woke and a mug of sweet tea to wash it all down before he left to continue his journey. He wondered if he would ever be able to repay her kindness.

It was no secret that humans hated monsters, they always had and likely always would if those deemed ‘fell’ monsters had their way. Most humans would have turned Rus away or simply slammed the door in his face if he’d asked for somewhere to spend the night. When he wasn’t out trekking through the wilderness he usually found himself huddled up on a cold street corner, hoping that no one would pay him any mind or pass him off as just a poor beggar.

It was quiet as Rus began to walk down the mountainside toward where he had been told there was a small stream he could use to wash his clothes and himself. He had been completely lost in his thoughts, but he slowly began to realise just how quiet the woods were. There were no sounds drifting up from the usually busy village below and not a bird to be seen in any of the trees.

At the eeriness of the forest he slowed his movements, contemplating returning to the cave and cleaning later on. There were very few things that could scare away all the animals of a forest, and Rus wasn’t eager to encounter any of them.

There was a loud snap as a nearby branch was torn from a tree and Rus found himself running before he had even registered where the sound had come from. Much to his dismay, running back uphill was a far more tedious task than it had been to leisurely stroll down and he found that no matter how quickly he tried to sprint away from whatever dangerous creatures lurked in the woods he made no significant ground.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when something snatched Rus’ legs out from underneath him, causing him to fall face first into the hard ground. He gave a weak groan, his hand seeking out the front of his skull to clutch his face as it seemed to pulse with pain. He felt something warm and wet trickling onto his phalanges and pulled his hand away from his face to see it stained red with marrow. It seemed that the rocky ground was a little sturdier than his face.

A laugh sounded from behind him and Rus felt his blood run cold, “You seriously thought you could get away from us?” It chortled in amusement, a clawed paw easily grasping his legs to prevent any attempt at escape. Even if he had wanted to, Rus was unable to even consider trying to get away, not with the way his head seemed to be spinning, red liquid dripping down into his sockets from his forehead and only serving to disorientate him further.

He fell limp against the ground, his mind growing fuzzy and drowning out whatever it was his attacker was saying. He could hear roaring and there suddenly seemed to be a lot of fire everywhere, but Rus didn’t mind, even if it was a little warm. Why was Edge looking at him? When did he get there? It likely didn’t matter, Rus was tired, his sockets growing heavy. Edge seemed to be saying something but Rus ignored him, he’d ask him what he was trying to say when he woke up.

[kaette-kita-slayers]

Slayers Smash 5-1 - The Shadow in the Blue Sea

In addition to the interviews, I'm hoping to go through a bunch of the short stories and write up detailed summaries, starting with Slayers Smash, since I don't think that there's much out there in English about these. (I might go back and cover some of my favorites from Special, though.)

Anyway, I'm starting with the first story in Smash v.5. No particular reason for the choice, other than I just bought the book and read it for the first time. :)

The Shadow in the Blue Sea

The story opens with Lina in a restaurant in the port city of Oakman, confronting the visibly nervous proprietor. Some sorcerers from the local guild had brought her there to have croff fish, a seasonal specialty, but Lina was immediately able to tell that she had actually been served sword mackerel. She had briefly considered not saying anything, not wanting to embarrass her companions, but then decided she couldn't let him get away with it (plus she wanted the real fish!)

Trying to figure out what to say to Lina, the man glances over at the other sorcerers for some reason, but they are suddenly interrupted by the sound of a bell outside, and shouts of "It's him! He's here!"

Lina jumps up and runs outside, followed by the other sorcerers, and finds a crowd gathered, all staring out at the ocean. In the distance, she can see a small island and some boats; all of the latter are fleeing back to the port. Suddenly, a shadow rises from the depths and leaps into the air, washing several boats away.

"... What the heck was that...?" I muttered unconsciously. The thing had already sunk back into the ocean.

It was about the size of a reasonably large dragon, and it looked like what you would get if you took a mackerel pike, made it really huge, then added gangly limbs. More than anything else, it looked like a child's drawing of a fish with arms and legs added as a joke.

The fish (?) jumps around a few more times, tossing the ships, then vanishes. As the townspeople go to assess the damage, Lina demands answers from the other sorcerers. After some embarrassed silence, one of the group, a forty-ish man named Quantum, offers to explain everything, and they head for the Oakman Sorcerer's Guild.

Quantum dejectedly tells Lina that the guild had been hired to investigate why the croff fish, already difficult to catch, had been steadily decreasing in number. They discovered that the croff fish are a variety of sword mackerel that tends to be delicate and not very fertile. Unfortunately, ceasing fishing would destroy the town's livelihood, so they turned to sorcerous methods to solve the problem. They first experimented with creating copies, but found that was too costly, so their next idea was to create fish chimeras---specifically, to make a giant version of the fish by combining it with a water dragon, a Ragon fishman, and some bamboo shoots (for flavor).

"I... I see..." I gave a vague reply.

Setting the bamboo shoots aside for now, I had questions about who, exactly, knew what a water dragon or Ragon fishman tasted like, and why, but I let it slide since the answer would probably be terrifying.

Dubbing their creation the "Macro Croff", they released it into the ocean, where it quickly grew far beyond its predicted size and became a nuisance. Then they heard that Lina was on her way to the city...

"If Lina Inverse, so famous for having only two modes: eating and rampaging, found out that she couldn't get croff fish, she'd go berserk, no mistake!"

"Hey!"

"It was clear as day she'd cause massive damage to the city! The Macro Croff wouldn't even compare!

So the only thing we could do was fool her with some imitation fish so that she wouldn't notice anything was odd, and have her leave peacefully---and fast!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" I screamed. Quantum jumped and broke out in a cold sweat, finally realizing what he'd let slip running his mouth.

"Uh, no, when I said we were going to fool you, I meant in a good way, not a bad way!"

"How could I possibly take anything you just said in a 'good way'? I was sure you were going to hire me to take out the Macro Croff, or something like that."

"Hire you? Oh, no, we certainly wouldn't do that!" Quantum said in response to my grumbling, waving his hands frantically and continuing, "If we asked you to do something like that, the whole place would be wrecked---er, I mean, wrecked in a good way, of course!"

... Does this guy think that he can redeem anything by following it with "in a good way"?

Lina restrains her anger, not wanting to prove the sorcerers right, and argues that the rumors about her are overblown; it's just that there are times when she has to resort to violence to keep a situation from getting even worse. Quantum immediately asks her to take care of the Macro Croff for them, and Lina agrees, in return for a fee and a full-course meal of croff fish.

Two days later, she sets out before dawn on a fishing boat, her plan to have an entire fleet of boats fishing to draw out the Macro Croff, then attack. After a while spent quietly waiting, the fisherman piloting the boat suddenly begins putting up his tools and tells her that her target has appeared. Although Lina can't see anything yet, she trusts that he knows what he's talking about from experience and orders him to head back to the port like he normally would. Chanting a spell under her breath, she notices signs of panic from the other boats and the surrounding wildlife.

A dark shape appears in the water, heading for the fleet, and when it jumps, Lina fires off a Dragon Slave. In the split second before it hits, the fish tears some scales from its body, throws them into the air, and the the spell hits them instead. Lina can't believe her eyes.

After the explosion, the fish is nowhere to be seen, and the fisherman assumes he was killed, but Lina knows better.

That evening, Lina returns to the inn she's staying at, since there's nothing else to do---everything closes and opens early, to fit the fishermen's schedule. She analyzes what happened earlier. A Dragon Slave will naturally target whatever it's used against, but the Macro Croff managed to fool it by creating another target made of pieces of itself---the scales. Thinking up a defense like that would naturally require a high level of intelligence, not to mean knowledge the fish couldn't possibly have, so Lina finally writes it off as an instinctive reaction that coincidentally worked.

However it came about, the fish now knows how to defend against a Dragon Slave, and Lina is sure it wasn't killed, since no body was found. She brainstorms, trying to figure out how to kill it. Anything that would leave a body behind is out, since she suspects that if anything is left, they'll have it cooked and served to her instead of the promised croff fish---she doesn't want to eat some weird chimera.

Lina's thoughts are interrupted by a knock. She gets up to answer the door, wondering who it could be when the city is mostly asleep, and stops when she realizes the sound came from the opposite direction, where the window is. She decides that it must have been a bird or something, because she's on the second floor. Then she hears it again.

Then it hit me.

Normally, no one would ever use Levitation and show up for a visit outside your window, but unfortunately, I have an acquaintance who's anything but normal.

Lina sighs and opens the shutters, solely because she knows said acquaintance will force her way in if Lina doesn't. She is greeted instead by the sight of a gigantic fish head, and the Macro Croff apologizes with flawless politeness for disturbing her. As she stands there, dumbfounded, he tells her that he's aware that she would likely kill him if they had another confrontation, so he's there to explain his position and hopefully find a peaceful solution.

"You can talk," was the first thing out of my mouth after my brain finally began working again.

"Yes, it's a hobby of mine," the Macro Croff replied.

A hobby. Okay then.

He tells Lina that he met the fish of his dreams, but her mother refused to let them marry because he isn't a mackerel. In the end, they managed to get her to agree, but only on the condition that he stop the humans from fishing.

He has taken care not to kill anyone, since he feels grateful to the humans who created him, whatever their intentions might have been, plus...

"If I took human lives, the hatred would only lead to greater resentment, and in the end, possibly even all-out war between man and mackerel."

Yeah, pretty sure that's not gonna happen.

At the end of his story, he begs Lina to leave him alone, bowing his head. She thinks for a moment, and then tells him he's not serious enough about his love. She points out that he's fighting a battle that can never be won permanently, and that even if she gives up and leaves, they'll just hire another sorcerer or warrior to kill him. His girlfriend's mother was obviously just trying to keep him occupied, not give him a chance. Lina recommends that the Macro Croff just run away with his love, since she wouldn't want him to die fighting humans.

I could see the moon and stars in the night sky.

I'm standing here, giving advice on romance to a giant fish outside my window, in the dead of night. What's wrong with this picture?

Pushing aside questions about what was wrong with my life, I continued...

The Macro Croff agrees and leaves.

The next day, Lina and Quantum gather the city's fishermen to tell them it's safe to go out on the ocean. The men are naturally doubtful, of course, and while Lina is trying to persuade them, the Macro Croff suddenly splashes down in front of them. Lina demands to know what in the world is going on, and he tells her that his mother-in-law found out what he was planning and tossed him all the way to the port. Everyone is shocked to find that not only can the fish speak, Lina seems to know him. Annoyed, Lina gives a one-sentence explanation, which they have no choice but to accept.

Lina asks what kind of fish the Macro Croff's mother-in-law is, and he replies that she's a mackerel, of course, just a bit larger than usual, as they can see for themselves. Lina searches the water for a giant shadow, but sees nothing. A fisherman recalls that his grandfather once told him there was some enormous creature out there. They then notice that the island looks like it's moving, and the Macro Croff confirms that the "island" is really the tip of her fin.

"You said she was a mackerel! A MACKEREL! Not some weird monster!"

"She's always been on the large side. She told me she was bullied as a child because of it."

"That is not the issue!"

Quantum points out that fish will keep growing as long as they live, and that the Demon's Ocean isn't far away. Lina is skeptical of the idea that Mazoku influence is the cause, but everyone else accepts it.

Leaving aside the question of how the mackerel came to be, Lina prepares to take her out, but the Macro Croff begs her to stop and threatens to fight back if she's killed. They're interrupted by a single fisherman, who suggests that maybe they could just stop catching mackerel.

Problem solved! Humanity and mackerels establish a peace treaty, with the humans agreeing to release any mackerels accidentally caught, and the mackerels agreeing to raise croff fish for them. Lina gets her reward, and everyone is happy. Except the croff fish.

Notes

Not much, except that the Macro Croff is actually called the Croff Macro, but that doesn't quite work in English.

[glapplebloom]

Power Rangers VS VoltronPart 6 of 7 for this final week of the year!

My original plan for Part 6 was to highlight other shows that were inspired by Death Battle. But many of them were taken offline for some reason. That lead the list to be stack with questionable choices that I feel would be unfair to compare them to the ones on top. So I decided to scrap the idea. Sorry. I got something else planned though

Anyway, that means this one gets moved up and I have to say it is one of my favorite seasons. Lots of fun matches and researching opportunities.

#10 - Sephiroth Vs Vergil

This was an awesome way to end the season. Final Fantasy finally gets a win, showing how much would change if you didn’t control the character, showing off just how much potential Sephiroth really has, all the research that went into this fight and the swordsmanship and techniques displayed was all amazing to see. The only reason this fight is as low as it is ultimately because I didn’t get into Vergil as much as the others were. 

#9 -  Power Rangers VS Voltron

If Godzilla Vs Gamera was the Superman/Goku of Giant Monster Battles, this was that for Giant Robots. Grew up watching both, wishing to have said Giant robots to battle each other against. So to help with the research for this is like living my childhood dream. This is also their most expensive Death Battle to date (I believe) and I say it is worth the price. Its through this match I found out Justice League crossed over with the Power Rangers. So overall, this was a fun match to do and see.

#8 - Natsu VS Ace

I figured this was going to be similar to Zoro Vs Lucy. I was going to skip it because they both had a lot of stuff to get through. But one thing got me into researching this match over others: “Ace scales”. I’m not a fan of scaling but I know when it should be used. But while looking at how other topics debated on the subject, it seems less like scaling and more like seven degrees of bacon. So I decided to throw in my researching hat into this and look into their Manga.

I was shocked by how little Ace has. Thinking he was Luffy’s brother (which he wasn’t really), I thought he would have a lot of stuff like the rest of Luffy’s crew. Heck, he did joined up with them in the anime for a while. But to my surprise, only a handful of pages. In comparison, Natsu had a LOT of screen time to the point I wonder what all this “Fairy Tail is overflowing with Fan Service” coming from. Is it overflowing with violent fan service?

But in the end, Natsu was decided the winner. This is high up for how tough it was to decide who’ll win as well as how well it all came together. Especially with the animation feeling like a sequel to Zoro Vs Lucy. Seems like its in the same location. If a third One Piece Vs Fairy Tail happens, I expect both fighters to be chased out of the town.

#7 - Metal Sonic VS Zero

There is a reason why there are multiple researchers. Not to research multiple things at once (even though we could) but to also have multiple viewpoints in one fight. When I researched it, Zero didn’t seem like he was able to win. Another thought otherwise. When we presented our arguments, mine held very little water in comparison and the winner was decided. I personally blame it on Sega for not using Metal often or well.

But despite that, the episode was great. The research portion was fun and I loved the animation. The speed it was going to points where I wonder if there was 3D Animation in it, to all the custom sprite work into this fight. Thanks to Jerky, I got my hands on that Metal Madness sprite at the end. It is massive.

#6 - Shredder VS Silver Samurai

Talk about a mind blower. I came into this match thinking Silver Samurai got this. So I researched the comics, found his bizarre original costume, and more evidence against his faster than light particles being a real thing. But then I looked into the Nick TMNT cartoon. I was shocked. While I did watch it, I eventually stopped when they went to space and forgot details like his faster than eyesight slashes. 

And then seeing his Super Shredder. Whoa! And he killed Splinter... Twice! It might as well has been just the Nick Shredder Vs Silver Samurai. But the others looked into those and found more stuff from the comics and the original cartoon. You know what’s scarier than finding out about all this? Finding out not only did he survive the Joker Gas, but he overcame it through sheer hatred.

And the fight, wow! Using DCat’s Shredder was a great choice. And all the other custom spriting work used was amazing. And that ending was brutal!

#5 - Lara Croft VS Nathan Drake

This is as high as it is for me because of the research. Between the two of them, I only played one game demo. But after researching, I totally get why these two are popular. Nathan is a great character and was fun to follow from beginning to end. I hope his movie does him justice. But with Lara, wow! I think she can give Batman a run for his money.

Classic Lara and her cutting the wire of an elevator to ride it up, one handed, to reach the roof. Legends Lara and wielding the Hammer of Thor. Survivor Lara and the, no other words to describe it, Hell she went through. She fought demons, aliens, dinosaurs and deities. And the only negative I can find of her is that she was in Angel of Darkness, which that studio deserved to be shut down after making it.

The episode was great. It explained both characters the best it did and the fight was fun. But like I said, this is as high as it is mostly because of the researching I did for this. I believe this is the most fun I had doing research.

#4- Naruto VS Ichigo

Personally, I only looked into the Manga for Ichigo. But even after that with my limited knowledge of Naruto I saw it as a win for the #1 Knuckle Headed Ninja. Ichigo doesn’t grow as well as Naruto does. He constantly loses his powers and his biggest wins aren’t just his own doing. It was all conclusive to me that Ninjas beat Samurais in this fight.

But the episode did a great job explaining everything between the two and why Naruto was a shoe in to win. Not to mention the fantastic animation to go with it. And the long explanation was the icing on the cake, as this specific Death Battle needed that extra time dedicated to explain the results.

#3 - Scrooge McDuck VS Shovel Knight

I looked into... EVERY! SINGLE! ENGLISH RELEASED! SCROOGE COMIC! And also everything with Shovel Knight. And Scrooge would have won even without those guns or the Omnisolve. He has a laser gun that can pierce titanium. He has a time travel watch so he can go into the future or the past. He frikkin tore down those steam pipes with his bare hands. Scrooge is a scary old man.

And the fight was a glorious tribute to 8-Bit. The music selection, the custom sprite work involved, the action and that ending. It had to have been against Shovel Knight to get this level of tribute.

#2 - Smokey Bear VS McGruff the Crime Dog

I live for fights like these. Obscure characters to most, a wacky premise, and all animated like a cartoon. The moment I heard this match was going to be done this was my most anticipated Death Battle to wait for. And it lived up to it all. It would have been my #1 if it wasn’t for one fight...

#1 - Balrog VS TJ Combo

To me, this is the perfect Death Battle. From the Analysis portion including custom images and video to the fight itself. The theme of it being a boxing match, the choreography to make it seem like a boxing movie, and especially the music choice for this fight. I saw a preview of the fight and was immediately hooked to this song. And seeing the full version, it blew what I was imagining. This is a Death Battle I would recommend anyone to see first.

And that’s my top 10 of the seasons. Tomorrow, let’s talk about the other fights not mentioned.

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

A massive debate is playing out over legislation that affects the lives of every American: taxes. But are the changes under consideration actually going to make a difference to your bottom line?

As it happens, most people don’t have a mortgage, most people don’t own stocks and, as a rule, most people are unaffected by carve-out exemptions created in response to lobbying for small classes of individuals. The reality is that, outside of the marginal rates that determine how much of your income goes to taxes and the personal exemption you get just for existing, the standard deduction is probably the single part of the tax code that most affects a majority of Americans.

A major component of the tax plan that Republicans have proposed — aside from lowering the corporate tax rate — is roughly doubling of the standard deduction. The bill will be much easier to pass if the cost of those tax breaks is partially or wholly offset by other changes that increase federal revenue. As the House and Senate work on their versions of a new tax plan, we thought we’d break down who might be affected by some of the proposals that are getting the most attention.

Doubling the standard deduction

Right now you can either itemize deductions — laboriously indicating the amount of money you earned that is exempt from taxation due to a number of carve-outs we’ll get to below — or just take the standard deduction, which is a set amount of money that you can choose to deduct, tax-free, from your overall net income rather than do the math. For example, the standard deduction was great for me personally when I was working in restaurants in college, given that I didn’t have many expenses that I could take as deductions. If the standard deduction had been doubled then, it could even have completely eliminated what I owed in taxes.

The standard deduction is currently $6,350 for single filers and $12,700 for married couples filing jointly. In 2015, 69 percent of households took the standard deduction, so right off the bat, those households would benefit by being able to write off twice as much money. For the 30 percent of households that itemized their deductions, whether they benefit depends on how much they’re able to itemize: If their itemized deductions amount to just a bit more than the current standard deduction, this is probably pretty good for them because they would get a bigger deduction without having to do the work of itemizing; if their itemized deductions are far higher than the current standard deduction, they’ll still need to itemize, so nothing would change for them; if their itemized deductions are relatively close to the proposed new standard deduction, they won’t be able to tell offhand whether they’re better off itemizing or using the standard deduction, so they’re probably going to have to pay their accountant to figure it out anyway.

By that token, this may be bad for some of the people who either directly derive their income from tax preparation and litigation (the country’s 1.4 million accountants, plus tax lawyers) or people who work in fields where existing deductions serve as incentives to use their goods or services (like the 440,000 real estate agents and everyone who works in charity).

Boosting the child tax credit while removing the personal exemption

Of the 150.6 million tax returns filed in 2015, 22.6 million took advantage of the child tax credit, for a total of 27.4 billion untaxed dollars. As it currently stands, you can reduce your income by up to $1,000 for each dependent kid you claim. Your ability to take this discount is mainly defined by your income: The credit begins to be scaled back starting at $110,000 a year for married couples. The current House GOP plan would increase the credit from $1,000 to $1,600, which would be $600 worth of good news per kid for those 22.6 million filers. The plan would also offer a $300 tax credit for each non-child dependent, such as an elderly parent or a child older than 17.

However, the plan also gets rid of the personal and dependent exemptions. That allows each person — the tax filer, their spouse, their dependents — to make $4,050 of their income exempt. Taxpayers took 293 million exemptions in 2015, amounting to just over 1.1 trillion dollars. As a result, the math gets a little harder on families here: gaining $600 and losing the taxed portion of $4,050 per child, essentially. For larger families, the hike on the standard deduction isn’t going to wipe out those losses.

Scrapping the state and local tax deduction

Republicans are calling for the removal of the deduction for state and local taxes, but boy is this one dicey. Right now, you can deduct the amount you pay in state and local taxes from your federal taxable income. This means if you made $50 last year and paid $10 in state and local taxes, you’d only need to pay federal income tax on $40. Different states and localities have wide ranges of income taxes, and some don’t charge any at all. I live in New York City, which is a high-tax city in a high-tax state. My state and local taxes last year were the main reason I didn’t take the standard deduction. This change could really suck for me!

Generally speaking, if you pay enough money in state and local taxes that it makes sense to itemize, this change is not good for your bank account. In 2015, 42.6 million tax returns (28.3 percent of them) included deductions for state and local taxes. Looking at people who made between $50,000 and $100,000 in adjusted gross income that year (middle-income households, roughly speaking), 42 percent deducted state and local taxes in 2015, and the average deduction was $3,195. For some people, doubling the standard deduction can compensate for this elimination, but for taxpayers who stack further write-offs — say, for student loans or mortgage interest — on top of state and local ones, those combined deductions may be worth more than the doubled standard deduction, so they’d feel a pinch.

In addition to people like me who live in high-tax areas, this also hurts people who make enough money that the percentage they fork over even in low-tax states and localities exceeds the standard deduction.

Taxing contributions to 401(k) plans

The government would really rather you did not go broke before you die, so they set up some incentives to get a bunch of free-spending young people to sock money away. The feds let you stash up to $18,000 per year in a 401(k) retirement account without paying taxes on it up front.

When I eventually get to use that money, I’ll have to pay taxes on it, but that’s Old Walter’s problem. If you don’t want to burden your future self, you can go with a Roth IRA, which taxes the money now but lets Old Walter, that coddled jerk, off the tax hook. You probably decided which one you were going to use right after you started a new job, the kind of stressful and nauseating time that is perfect for complex financial decision-making.

One idea for tax reform is to make the people with that first plan use the second one instead, which gives the government its money up front. In 2016, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 62 percent of Americans worked for a private employer that offers a defined contribution plan like a 401(k) or IRA, and a Census Bureau working paper estimated that on the whole, 79 percent of Americans work at places that sponsor a 401(k)-style plan. Still, it may not matter much to tax reformers what type of retirement account people use, since both agencies agree that less than half of Americans contribute to one of these retirement accounts.

Ending the mortgage interest rate deduction

Then there’s the mortgage interest deduction. You may pay enough money in interest on your mortgage that it makes sense for you to take advantage of this tax break by itemizing your deductions rather than just taking the standard one. According to a 2015 Pew Charitable Trusts study, 44 percent of households have mortgage debt, owing a median of $103,000. An Urban Institute study last year found that of the 73.3 million housing units where the owner resided on the premises, 46.4 million units had a mortgage or home equity loan on them.

Both the House and Senate plans cap the amount of mortgage debt you can claim for this deduction, with the House dropping the cap to $500,000 and the Senate leaving it where it currently is, at $1,000,000. This change would only apply to new loans, so if you’re in the market for a pricey home — say, one in a major American city with a high cost of living — this may sting.

On the other hand, most households (56 percent) don’t have mortgage debt, some 26.9 million homes are owned free-and-clear, and many people who do have a mortgage just take the standard deduction anyway. If any of that sounds like you, you’re probably very cool with ending this giveaway to the landed gentry.

Axing the alternative minimum tax

Rule of thumb: If this is the first time you’re hearing about the alternative minimum tax, you’re probably pretty happy with the existence of the alternative minimum tax. It’s a tax that primarily affects the modestly wealthy and people who derive income from unconventional means or people whose financial situation allows them to exploit many deductions.

Basically, rich or well-off people can often take lots of deductions that make them look poorer on paper. They can afford that kind of tax prep, so they can make money from all the things they write off. This means that under the normal system, the well-off can end up paying the same effective tax rate as people who are much less affluent. The AMT seeks to compensate by forcing them to pay a higher share of their income in taxes.

There’s a chance that the individual AMT will not survive if one of the tax reform bills passes — it’s on the chopping block in both proposals. In 2015, 4.43 million of the 150.6 million tax returns filed that year were subject to the AMT, including about 66 percent of returns that reported an adjusted gross income above $250,000. If that sounds like you, you’re probably in favor of getting rid of the AMT.

There is a corporate version of the AMT as well, and that has been in conservative crosshairs for quite some time. According to the IRS, of the 5.9 million corporations that filed a return in 2013, only 10,222 had to pay the corporate AMT.

Removing the estate tax

The estate tax is assessed on the value of large estates when the owner dies. Of the estimated 2.5 million American adults who died in 2013, only 4,699 of them left an estate large enough that it was subject to this tax. In general, we’re talking about the hella wealthy here: Those 4,699 estates were worth, in aggregate, $86.3 billion; the tax that year only applied to estates valued at more than $5.3 million.

Only about 0.2 percent of adult deaths will involve a taxable estate, which is down from a recent high of 2.3 percent of adult deaths in 1999. The vast majority of Americans aren’t going to have to deal with this, and unless you’re looking at collecting an inheritance worth well over that in the near future, you’re probably fine with the estimated $17.1 billion the U.S. raked in from taxes on inheritances in 2015.

But hey, if you really think you’ll be an heir to the top 0.2 percent decedents, by all means call your senator and demand relief.

[midnightiscoming-kasabian]

*Noel [Gallagher Fielding]

DIY Magazine, August 2017

Kasabian: Forever having the last laugh

Much loved and misunderstood in equal measures, Kasabian are still the band your mother warned you about. 

Keep reading

Back in 1998, when Tom Meighan was 17 years old, he stepped out onto the stage of The Shed in Leicester in front of a group of friends and family and began Kasabian’s first ever gig as though he were headlining Glastonbury. “I remember hiding behind the stairs and then appearing like it was some fucking [arena]. That’s the level my head was at then,” he recalls. “It was all our mates in the crowd, so everyone’s gonna tell you you’re good. But we knew we were good anyway. We knew we had something special.” Fast forward 16 years and four Number One records later to 2014, and Kasabian were headlining Glastonbury for real. This month, now with yet another Number One (current LP ‘For Crying Out Loud’) to add to the tally, they’ll headline Reading & Leeds for the second time. Tonight, they’re headlining Glasgow’s TRNSMT to 50,000 people. Taking top billing alongside Radiohead and hometown heroes Biffy Clyro, theirs is the only day to sell out.

Undeniably, Kasabian are one of the biggest bands in the country, sitting in a top tier cohabited by the likes of Arctic Monkeys, Muse and very few else. It’s a mountain they’ve scaled while being hit with endless criticisms along the way – for their lyrics, their ethos, their entire ‘schtick’; surely no other band of their stature has received such a media mauling as Tom, co-conspirator Serge Pizzorno and bandmates Chris Edwards and Ian Matthews. But through it all, Kasabian have always had two indisputable weapons in their arsenal: a world class live show capable of silencing even the most po-faced of doubters, and a twinkle of the eye that suggests they’re forever having twenty times more fun than any grumbling muso slagging them off. “We’re a big band. We sell albums. People don’t like it, that’s the way it is,” intones Tom, plainly. “We’ve never been arse-licked; we’ve grafted, me and Serge, to where we’ve got. Everyone hated us when we came out and we’re still here. I don’t regret any of [our choices]. It’s all tongue in cheek, you know? That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”

Our whirlwind 36 hours within the Kasabian machine begins the night before at Glasgow’s O2 Academy. The band have hired out the venue for a final rehearsal and, despite their flights from Estonia being cancelled the night before, meaning a time-consuming re-routing and a police escort to get them on a train to the city, they’re trucking on regardless. Flight cases emblazoned with the group’s logo fill up the venue and two delivery drivers bearing stacks of pizza boxes higher than their heads arrive to fuel the touring party; when the band appear just before 9pm, Serge recalls how he was bottled the last time they played here, requiring six stitches and leaving bloodied hand prints down the dressing room corridor walls. It’s fair to say that almost everything in Kasabian’s orbit is bigger and madder and more quote-worthy than normal life.

Their reasons for tonight’s additional run through, however, are impressively un-starry. Kasabian don’t like to go into a gig cold - “We’re trying to get this collective mass of people and take them somewhere, but if we have three or four days off, I feel like it takes half a set to get there,” explains Serge. “Whereas now I think, well, we were here last night so we just carry on” - and so for two hours, on the eve of one of their summer’s biggest shows, they play some of this decade’s most hedonistic hits to a handful of non-plussed roadies in an empty room. There’s possibly none more fitting a picture of Kasabian’s strange dichotomy – excessive and purposefully ridiculous yet grounded and down to earth – than watching them blast through a live karaoke version of ultimate sesh anthem ‘Fire’ (Tom’s ducked out by this point) to precisely no-one.“The thing is though, we really care,” enthuses Serge the next day, red roses stitched onto his tracksuit as he lounges with a cup of tea back in the band’s country house hotel. “There’s a responsibility when you’re at the top of the bill to end the night on a massive fucking high, and we’ve built a reputation for that. Anyone who’s indifferent to us and doesn’t get it, misses the jokes and misses the point, they see it live and at the end of the gig they understand. It’s really important to us that people go away thinking…” He pauses. “Well, we try and change your life.”While Tom bats away any mention of the band’s detractors with the dismissive attitude of a man who genuinely doesn’t give a shit (“Nah. Done it. Can’t do anything else. Headlined Glastonbury; got six albums; probably do another 10 more. That’s how it is”), Serge is more frustrated by people’s frequent misconceptions of his band. It’s indicative of the yin-yang personality types at the heart of the duo.

In conversation, Tom is gregarious and hyperactive, with the attention span of a six-year-old on Christmas Day. He says exactly what he thinks and is already distracted by the next thing before you’ve even processed the answer. Serge, meanwhile, is a generous conversationalist, ruminating in depth on any topic he’s given. On stage, Tom, says his bandmate, has been “exactly the same from day one. He was quite a powerful character [even] at school; he’d walk into the year area and you could tell his presence.” Serge, however, has only more recently come to embrace the thrill of the stage. “I didn’t feel the need to be Freddie Mercury - that compulsion some people have to perform,” he explains. “But there was a moment when I realised I can just fuck about. I think about what I can get away with to make the other lads laugh in front of all these people. It’s ridiculous standing on stage, so you should embrace it.” But while Tom and Serge might come from different angles, both have always been united in the pursuit of fun and playfulness, of keeping things just that little bit silly. During the campaign for 2014 LP ‘48:13’, they performed backed by a series of flashing slogans including ‘Free Deirdre’ and ‘Maggot Munch’. When they headlined Glastonbury, their only ‘special guest’ was pal Noel Fielding dressed as a cartoon vampire. Joyously irreverent, theirs is a humour entrenched as much in a Young Ones-esque tradition of eccentric British comedy as one of boisterous British bands. That’s the bit that so many people seem to struggle with. “One of the most frustrating things is when people miss the humour. There’s so much piss taking in everything we do,” begins Serge. “We’re in on the joke, that’s the thing that people don’t seem to understand.” The oft-quoted stereotype, we suggest, is of Kasabian as a kind of real life Spinal Tap, dialling up the rock’n’roll cliché to 11… “It’s that middle class, apologetic, broadsheet opinion,” he replies, getting slightly rattled by the thought. “Kings of Leon: that’s Spinal Tap. Kanye getting stuck on a fucking digger truck at Glastonbury: that’s Spinal Tap. I mean, hearing Kanye singing Freddie Mercury out of tune at Glastonbury is as Spinal Tap as anything anyone else has ever done, so… it’s rich, is what I’m saying. The parody and the ridiculousness of being in a band is all nonsense. It doesn’t matter what kind of band you’re in; it’s all nonsense.”

Back in the early days, around 2004’s self-titled debut, Serge admits that Kasabian embraced all the “nonsense” rather a lot more. “We didn’t think it was gonna last longer than one album, so we decided that we were gonna experience everything we could,” he grins, with the look of a man who’s seen a few detention slips in his time. “We’d turn up to festivals and just fucking go through people. Run in dressing rooms, off our fucking heads – honestly, we were so fucked. No-one liked us. We were just fucking horrible little shits, which was perfect. I love The Stooges and those kinds of bands… We wanted everyone to fucking hate us. It was great. It’s all part of the show.” If social media had existed back then, he notes, “it would have been disgusting”. Now, both Tom and Serge are fathers and in their mid-30s. Five albums after releasing the debut they thought would be their only record, they’ve settled into a space surprisingly far down the other end of the rockstar bullshit spectrum. Say what you want about the on-stage swagger and lairy bangers, but underneath it all Kasabian have kept remarkably grounded. “That’s the thing, we’re just not fucking like that. We live in Leicester with all our families and all our pals and that’s because we saw through the fakeness from day one,” Serge shrugs. “You could reel off the people who’ve turned into dicks and that’s fucked them, but that’s just not us. We saw through it. How can I write music for the people that I relate to if I’m not around them? 50,000 people aren’t gonna relate if I stand around with a load of supermodels opening envelopes. No one gives a fuck about that guy.”

Cut to later that evening and 50,000 people are most certainly giving all the fucks. Having spent the hour before stage time blasting out Beatles songs and milling among a small and unanimously entertaining group of pals including Trainspotting legend Robert Carlyle and a perma-sunglasses wearing old friend only known as The Turtle, Kasabian take to the TRNSMT stage to a deafening roar. “It’s about anticipation, it’s like a boxing match,” notes Tom about the build up to stage time. “We’re like monkeys in a cage, and it’s my job to rattle the cage. I go from Clark Kent to Superman. BANG - like that.” The set, as always, is huge and cathartic and powerful; a 90-minute, all-consuming escape from reality that has the entire field uniformly losing their minds in unison. To paraphrase Serge’s own words previously, even if you don’t get it before, by the end of the gig you’ll understand.Off stage, enjoying a post-show beverage or two, we notice that Serge is wearing not one, but three identical gold Casio watches up his arm. The theory, he explains with that twinkle in his eye, is that casually observed on stage, they’ll look like a standard bit of bling. “But then when you look closer…” he chuckles, with a wink. It’s exactly the kind of weird and wonderful thought process that characterises the songwriter and his band of childhood pals. Some people will scoff and chalk it up as another example of the band’s rockstar buffoonery, but Kasabian have always known it’s far more fun, having a laugh down here with the people. “I genuinely just think life’s too short,” smiles Serge. “The odds of any of this happening. I mean, just to be born in this country alone, you’re already dreaming - then to have the life I’ve had. So I figure, I’ve been given this, and I can’t explain why, but man, I’m going out in a blaze of glory. And I figure if I worry and hide, then what a waste. I’m gonna have the fucking time of my life on that stage. I’m gonna have it so big. And maybe that’s what people see in us? Like, you know what? They’re living it.” 

[theunexaminedlife]

June 10: Day Trip to Nara

Day eleven in Kyoto!!!!!!!!!!! I PET A DEER TODAYYY. Lots of pictures of deer, I’m not sorry at all for this. So yeah, we went to Nara today, it was a pretty cool town and all. Also, there are SO MANY deer, all over the place, not just the deer park. The deer run the whole town. They’re wild but very much used to humans. They’re protected by law and the locals are really everyone because they’re adorable and why would anyone want to hurt them (actually most of the protection is against people who have tried to steal them which…makes sense). We had to walk through the deer park to get to Todaiji, the actual excursion today, and some of us got to feed the deer. Some got their clothes chewed on because the didn’t feed them fast enough, and apparently deer are just cuter versions of goats. Even when you’re standing off to the side with no food they still approach you. The third picture is of my little buddy who kept bowing to me when I walked by and let me pet him the whole time. I pet many deer, but he was my favorite.

But anyway, the real reason we went to Nara. Todaiji, one of the Seven Great Temples, housed a giant Buddha statue built in the 8th century. The Great Buddha Hall is around 50 by 50 meters and although the pictures probably won’t do it justice, just know that the statue is massive. The construction used up nearly all of Japan’s money and bronze, but the emperor did it for the sake of his people’s salvation. For scale reference, there was a pillar with a hole in it the exact size of the Buddha’s nostril. Supposedly if you could crawl through it then your next life will be on the path to enlightenment. A good amount of us tried and succeeded but I was not about to get stuck in a wooden hole in front of a bunch of Japanese school children so I opted out. I’ll have to find my way to enlightenment some other way. We stopped for a quick lunch (I’ve had too much ramen on this trip) and more soft serve (finally got my sakura ice cream) before moving on to our secondary excursion.

Once we were set free I got to go to the last place on my personal list in Kyoto, Horyuji!! I’ve been talking about this for weeks and I’m so glad I got to go today. Professor Smith took a small group of us to Horyuji, the oldest wooden temple, about 30 minutes by train away. It was incredible. I may make this my academic excursion post but if I decide not to I may also just make a separate post so I can rant about it. It was so cool, the structures we saw were from the 8th century. Some of the artifacts in the museum exhibits dated back to the 6th and 7th centuries. That’s insane! I don’t know, a lot of people look at all old things as the same but even for someone who may not like studying history all that much, it’s pretty impressive that something from the 8th century made of wood and paper can survive centuries of war and natural disaster (and arson).

Academic Reflection

Today’s reading was about Mahayana Buddhism, specifically Shingon Buddhism. Mahayana means the “greater vehicle,” capturing the core value of rejecting enlightenment until all beings reach their salvation, or being a vehicle for the greater good and helping others reach enlightenment. The reading talked a lot about the interaction between Buddhist and Shinto practices when Buddhism was introduced in Japan. Rather than a complete separation of the two belief systems, Shinto kami (spirits) were recognized as manifestations of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. Buddhism is an ancient religion and is sometimes seen as an ancestor of native Shinto practices. But that’s a very specific niche of scholars.