#but then i also dont want to seem like i dont care. bc i do. but i also dont want to be annoying poking and prodding
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empty glory
#yugioh#ygo#seto kaiba#art#artists on tumblr#kaibas a v tragic character to me#dude always strives to be the best and only concern himself w the future#he has fought tooth and nail to be a respected duelist and business man yet it seems to me like he doesn't believe he is#yes hes an arrogant prick and extremely set in his ways but thats bc he has to be#nobody has ever supported him or believed in his skills and that kinda sticks w you man!#yes i know mokubas there but that doesnt change the fact he had to take care of him at a young age#its fun to say that he needs to chill out (which he does lol) but i dont think hes ever 'chilled out' a day in his life#bro simply doesnt know how to#and when he comes across people who are everything he wishes he could be and could never attain he just#acts like a total bastard lmao#at the end of the day he has everything he can ever want but never what he needed#also perspectives a bitch why did i do this to myself
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soft (and some bittersweet)
#trigun stampede#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w#way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely.#in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his#guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't#have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his#heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject#and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to#so its just these two lonely ass souls and vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out#ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self#regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees#and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its#all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time#but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this#person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all#ruporas art
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Ride 784: The first day's mountain
Pag 1
3: We're passing through the riverside road
4: I see it
6: Kaka
7: Ah!!
8: Teh!
9: It's the first day's
Pag 2
1: “mountain”!!
Pag 3
2: As we “promised”!!
Pag 4
3: It's the “first day's mountain stage”!!
4: A year ago
6: Manami-kun said it after the finish line, on the third and last day of the Inter High, when both of us were all worn out and barely still on our bikes
Pag 5
1: But having our race at the end on the final stage is too much pressure
2: Next year, if we both have the chance to run in the Inter High....
3: …. yeah
4: Let's race for the mountain stage on the first day
Yeah
5: Like Toudou-san and Makishima-san last year
Onoda!!
Manami-san!!
Pag 6
1: Manami!!
Manami-san!!
2: Onoda!!
3: He collapsed!!
Manami!! Take off his helmet
It's okay, I caught him
Onodaa!!
Onoda-san
Do we have a towel?
Danchiku, water!!
4: Next year... the mountain stage on the first day.... yeah
5: Got it....!!
Pag 7
3: When you run along a river....
4: the water only flows if there's a difference in elevation, either uphill or downhill!!
5: Here it's definitely uphill!!
Even if it looks like a flat at first glance, it's gradually climbing!!
Pag 8
1: Toward that mountain!!
Reading the map, it says that it's 5km until the base of the mountain!!
2: 5km!!
3: Don't lose sight of it like last year!!
Yes!! Sorry!!
4: Hold on tight!!
5: 'Cause I'll carry you all the way to the foot of the mountain!!
Pag 9
1: Thank you!!
2: “Positioning”....!!
3: When going from a flat to a climb you need to “position” yourself
Each team accelerates from the flats in order to bring their climbers to a good position
4: It's the so called “mountain's launching pad”!!
5: There will be a difference of several hundred meters in the first stage between a climber who was launched near the front of the group and a climber who was made to run up from the back of the group
Pag 10
1: Bring Onoda to the best possible position, Naruko!!
Oh-
Sohoku is moving up!!
Pag 11
1: -ruaaaagh
Ugh!! Sohoku's Naruko is so fast!!
2: I get what you're tryin to say, Hotshot!!
I'll take him!! Definitely!!
3: That's why I left the first result to Kabu!!
4: On that winter day, with an apologetic face
5: Ah....
6: Ah- uhm, I have something to tell you, but
Onoda-kun, who told us like it was difficult to say....
Pag 12
1: Ah the stove? You can just turn it off, we're the last ones
Yeah, please. Woah, look outside, it's snowing
Seriously? It must be cold
2: That's not it!!
3: Th-th- this morning... I got a text
4: What was that, an acceptance letter?
The proficiency exam?
5: It's a reply to the text I sent....
6: Three months ago!!
7: Uhm... really, I was worried that back when we made that promise it was right after the race and we were tired, so I thought maybe he had forgotten
Three months?
It was a long wait
So I sent him a text to ask him if he remembers?
Pag 13
1: And I received it this morning
Must be the proficiency test
Shut up!!
What are you whispering idiot
“Back when”, when was it?
No idea
2:He said only one word, “of course”
4: So, uhm... this time
5: Is it okay if I run for the first day's mountain stage during this summer's Inter High?
7: Is that so? Kakaka
Onoda-kun's eyes, like he couldn't contain his excitement...
Pag 14
1: I haven't forgotten it!!
2: I can't forget it!!
3: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Pag 15
1: 2km left until the foot of the mountain!!
2: Do your beeest....!!
Aren't they climbing at an amazing speed!? Each team is getting in line!!
Yeah, you're right!!
3: Every team is trying to “position” themselves for their climbers!!
“Position”!?
4: Also, look closely
Right now, the cyclist in the second position in the ranks
Pag 16
1: is the one who will race in the mountain stage!!
Pag 18
1: Oi, are you kidding me? Hakogaku is sending Manami?
From the first day!?
Manami is in second place
2: He's the “final boss”....!!
3: My dream of getting the red bib has been destroyed even before reaching the foot of the mountain....!!
4: Oi, look over there, that's not all!!
For Sohoku....
5: Naruko is pulling the “King of the mountain”!!
Wa- we're done for!! Completely!! My mountain prize!!
Pag 19
3: Manami-kun!!
4: Sakamichi-kun!!
Pag 20
1: It's time for our promise!!
We're almost at the foot of the mountain!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 784#im sorry i meant to post yesterday but i completely forgot ;A;#ahhhhhh ive been looking forward to thiiiis#please gimme a low stakes battle between Onoda and Manami!!! They deserve it!! They promised each other!!#I dont care who would win (even tho i hope manami tbh) i just want them to have fun while racing eo ;A;#is that so much to ask watanabe!!! please let them have this#i hope nothing happens and they really can do this :')#i mean it seems like midosuji also plans on participating but its okay#and if kiji wants to have a go too that fine to#the important thing is that both manami and onoda are there#also lemme have my imanaru moment bc#why are they literally so boyfriends coded wtf agsfdsgdcaskdf#like literally whispering to each other when onoda says he needs to tell them something???#naruko literally reading imaizumi's mind??? please theyre boyfirends okay#this chapter is pushing me to write yet another imanaru#and also a sansaka why not im not gonna lie#i love this so muuuuuuch#i need more im so happy#1st day's mountain stage my beloved
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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im happy my post is garnering discussion but honestly i wasnt around for 2018-2021 fandom on tumblr and i was mainly talking about how its kind of silly to get mad at people for portraying colonizer countries as mean, or calling it demonization and stuff. like its okay not to like personally portraying ur fav characters as mean or part of the state, but getting irritated at the fact that it exists or is popular imo kind of misses the fact that this… is the state and nation personification fandom. and its hard to say its not canon when canon did once portray the characters in uniform and at times involved in their state activities… like the early strips discussing western imperialism in china is literally ‘china being bullied by the allies’ ‘france wanting to grope china’ ‘china being treated like a maid’ etc etc like they were very much. the state LOL also china and japan’s canon relationship, as much as I have my issues with it, has an entire thing about china being stabbed by japan… i do feel like hetalia started out as a history nerd’s history exploration that blended humour with ��what i find cute’ with satire etc etc, which inevitably involves illustrating the personifications as vessels of state and culture, and although the modern strips have deviated quite a bit… well, different people will approach this series for different reasons, right? Whether its serious or comedic content showing the characters as mean or imperialist or unpleasant, it’s not something that deviates too far from canon (if we take all canon eras into consideration) nor is it surprising given how history laden the topic is.
#diary#hetalia#hater tag#also have some issues with some things being called drama…#like i know some of u think of me and some others as drama stirring little devils#honestly i dont enjoy drama that much but ill become upset when i see things that i see as racist or insensitive…#because im of the opinion that this fandom requires extra sensitivity given the subject matter.#let people have fun#but#also be careful yk? i guess for me personally im always trying to be careful#when im out of my depth i try to talk to ppl with better understanding while doing my own research#and if ive written or expressed antyhing bad (which i certainly have even on this blog many times before)#i try to change my stances with new info… and like#this is important to me and its important for me to read ppls thoughts bc.#i know what its like to be treated racistly and dismissed. or to have things and history precious to me twisted#but anyways rambling aside… i guess what i want to say is i understand it seems annoying but#if you post something insensitive… and someone gets upset… then thats just how it is. hetalia is sensitive#again ive definitely posted bad insensitive things. ive been told im acting out of line.#and it sucks. but… sometimes you have to understand ur own irritation doesnt outweigh the hurt#and listen a little#sometimes i like things that i then find are insensitive or cruel. and id rather not engage with it than dismiss peoples hurt… or something#honestly i keep most of my whining private i promise JLKFHDJGLKFH BC FOR THE MOST PART I THINK I CAN TELL THE DIFF BETWEEN#when i have a real issue and when im just nitpicking#so i keep my more petty whining or basic stuff private#but if i see something egregious then i dont want to be quiet#and if a friend of mine (esp if theyre a kid) is upset or hurt by racism I dont want to be quiet
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Cuz why tf do i have to do literally everything on my own without an ounce of any freaking help
#being independent is all fun n games#until you realize how freaking exhausting it is#explain to me how i as a college student#am supposed to come up with money#for a new car#& to move out#while also paying for my bills#putting gas in my death trap of a vehicle#as well as other things#WITH NO HELP#like fucc dude can i get a break#or like idk 2% of help#like what am i supposed to do here#i ask for help & nobody seems to freaking care#& i know the worlds not gonna stop spinning jus bc i want it to#but i rly dont think im asking for a lot here#like do i have to get into a rly bad accident#for anyone to take my car shit seriously?#i wanna ask for help but why ask when ive asked#a million other times#and it feels like ive received nothing#i know my feelings are not always the true reality#& i know people care#but fucc dude.#how many times do i have to complain about the same fucking thing before anything changes#why must i do EVERYTHING on my freaking own#& everyone else has parents or some form of fucking help.
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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do you think there could be a weird route with your oc ham? maybe like RadioRaze or something? anyways have a good day!!! :)
i like to think a weird route with ham would be pretty much impossible bc ham is a kinda stubborn and maybe-a-little-mean-on-purpose 12 year old with no allegiances NDNDNHSJ she’d find out lancer was in your inventory and just talk to him the whole time and ignore you and the only reason he doesn’t immediately ditch you for trying to tell her what to do is bc lancer is there and he wants to talk to him bc he seems like fun. have a good day too :]
#you’d tell him to do something and she’d go ‘you didn’t even say please so no. also you’re old.’#the monarch’s court#like in beatdown route with sweet he thinks you’re on the same side with the same goal and you pretty much peer pressure him int#into worse and worse shit in the name of his cause like ‘this is what you wanted. this is how we do it’#ive been thinking ham doesn’t care about his brother’s revolution bc Well Queen Was Nice To Me I Think She Just Doesn’t Like You Guys#she does think the music ban is real though he just doesn’t really care bc she’s not part of the band anyway#deltarune ocs#mostly unrelated but i think it’s neat that (with my headcanon) that kk and ham grew up with the same parents(capn and sweet dont reme#don’t remember them) that kk seems to hav become a neutral ground people pleaser type of person to avoid conflict w sweet and capn but h#but ham became combative to people telling them what to do. he also doesn’t like conflict but in that she’ll tell her brothers to stfu#kk became passive while ham became combative even though they came from the same environment and upbringing. thats what i was trying to say#anyway i should draw ham again. i miss him
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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idk, its just. like. a person comes up to you with their heart cradled in their hands. says it is broken, says it hurts. places it in your hands, asks you to please make it stop and trusts you to fix it. wouldnt you be scared, too? wouldn't you be haunted by visions of you tripping and shattering it beyond repair, of driving the thing thats hurting them even further down so that maybe no one can ever get it out, of someone in their deepest darkest moment trusting you with their life and you fucking it up? how could that ever feel like anything but defusing a bomb? trust is such a valuable thing, a powerful thing, a delicate thing, and the more you have the more you get given and the more careful you have to be with it because what if someday you drop it and break it and it turns out you never should have been given it in the first place. wouldnt you be scared?
#origibberish#idk. obviously im not a therapist of any sort myself but. i do know that that essentially is the role ive been playing in uquiz convos#and im happy to help but. it does definitely start to weigh on a person#the expectation to have The Right Answer On Who You Are even though i dont really know who i am#and the knowledge that this isnt like. characters im analyzing from a book‚ these are real people with real lives‚ it just. idk.#i keep having to tell people i wont just assign them a new gender and then realizing that like#the fact that im having to do that means that i. could. if i wanted to. and THAT means i have to be careful not to do it by accident either#like. people are coming to me for this bc they see me as an authority figure and if i just went 'nah you dont seem trans' then theyd.#probably listen. at least for a while#i could take the easy way out and just pick whatever answers i want but the entire point is to not do that so of course im not going to but#that doesnt stop people from wanting or expecting it#you want me to be an objective mirror impassively reflecting your true self back to you but that just. isnt possible. im sorry#there is no '''true answer''' for me to unlock for you. there is only the present and the future and what choices you make going forward.#uquibberish#<wasnt sure if i was gonna include this in the tag but. idk i think it probably is important too#i know the conversation is about you and i dont want to make it about me. but. i do want to be considered. at least a little#the disclaimer in my pinned is for yall but it is also for me
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This is a genuine innocent ask
Since ofmd is officially over, where does all the money donated go? This is not just a question for the fandom bit in general when ur raising money for a renewal but it fails.
so i mean, in general when a renewal campaign "fails" we dont usually get the showrunner saying outright "yeah the show isnt getting picked up, im sorry guys." like im pretty sure that most of the time, money that's raised for a campaign like this just gets collected and spent without there ever being an official announcement from the showrunners that fans should stop campaigning.
as far as the money that was raised for the first billboard back in january, all the money that was collected is long gone now bc it was spent on the billboard, the truck, the plane flyover, and the charity donations. and like, everyone who donated to that campaign knew that's where the money was going, and they knew there was a chance that the renewal campaign wouldn't work. so even tho the money they raised is gone, the ppl who donated technically got what they paid for.
when it comes to the second billboard, i have no idea what the plan is there. as far as im aware that fundraising effort is (was??) still ongoing, so djenks saying it's over kinda throws a wrench in that process. im not actually associated w the ppl collecting money for the second billboard, nor have i personally contributed to that campaign (or to the first campaign either, ftr), so i have no input or insight as to what's gonna happen w that money going forward. if u want more concrete info abt what's going on with that money you'd wanna ask @saveofmdcrewmates
from what i can tell tho, there are a few options as to what they could do with the money: they could ignore david's message and run the billboard as planned, they could forget the billboard and donate the money to charity, or they could run the billboard but change the messaging to something else. they might even be able to give some of the money back to the people who contributed?? that might be hard tho, idk what platform they were using to collect the money and i have no idea if they're even able to like, refund people. idk if the people who donated would even want their money back, or if they would rather the money still be used for the billboard, or be repurposed for something else. like i said, i didnt donate and i have nothing to do with the ppl raising the money so it rlly doesn't matter to me at all what happens.
#ofmd#our flag means death#save ofmd#ask#anon#mine#txt#og#s3 renewal hell#for the record also. when it comes to ppl criticizing the fans who DID choose to donate their money to the renewal efforts...#i think if u want to laugh abt how it's a waste of money that's fair. god knows i do the same thing#like im always gonna roll my eyes over ppl spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on like. funko pops. or sports betting.#or gambling in general. or tickets to see an artist that i think sucks. or expensive and ugly sports cars. or golf equipment.#or high-end fashion that's incredibly boring. or home decor that's as bland and impersonal as possible.#but that's bc these things do not appeal to me and seem like a waste of money bc i dont care abt them#im not gonna sit here and get mad abt how these ppl are spending money on shit i think is stupid so that makes them Bad People#like frankly it's fucking stupid to try and take the moral high ground over ppl having interests that they spend money on#laugh abt how u think ppl's taste sucks but if u try and make it some sort of moral issue then you're getting in too deep#i know it probably makes u feel superior to act like ppl spending their money on stupid shit are Bad People#but from the bottom of my heart: grow up#stop being so catholic abt everything jfc
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Hello, i really like how you write and it feels pretty accurate to the lore (maybe idk i forgot) anyways, i heard fnaf and dbd are collabing in summer 2025 idk if bhvr trolling but it'll be cool if the missing kids become the survivors or killers. I wonder what the killers actually think about kids being in the Entity's realm. And probably William afton or springtrap is just there and just brags how killed the kids and uses them for a bunch of experiments. I wonder how some of the killers react (put any killers that would probably be like 'wtf is this guy saying' and felt pity for the kids, some humanity ig)
tbh i'm on the side of people who think that it'll probably just be a cosmetic collab, personally. i also don't really think bhvr would put actual children in their game, neither as a survivor or killer tbh. if there were an actual chapter to come out of this collab, i would probably guess it would probably be movie related?? so springtrap, mike and vanessa, most likely, but idk i've only been playing the game since december last year so i'm still Very new. though it would be very funny to load into a game and be hunted down by an animatronic of a bear possessed by a child. and sad. very sad.
but. the idea of a child ending up in the fog has always been on my mind so. let's say these kids did get dragged into the fog. dare i say... killers and survivors join forces and boycott the entity. i don't think any of these guys would be chill with kids just... hangin around a place like this.
god, and imagine anna finding out that william killed them bro.... it's on sight. old british guy will not escape unscathed, i fear.
maybe it's because i'm against child murder, personally, but i don't think any of the killers would be chill with afton. obviously, i don't think the non-human killers such as singularity, unknown, nemesis, etc etc would necessarily care much, but if william actively goes around and brags about how he took away their lives and whatnot, then yeah. my dude is gonna have no friends in the fog.
and i think it's safe to say that not a single survivor would be chill with william afton at all. not even because he's a killer meant to torment them endlessly, it's literally the child murder that they all hate. if they could, i think they'd all gang up on him. but alas.
also i hate to say this but one time i read a fic where a kid did end up in the realm and the entity adopted her so now i just have this image in my head of the entity having a 'realm's no.1 mother' mug and showing off her kid to the killers and survivors with pride.
so if the kids did end up in the fog, i just picture the entity adopting them, i fear.
this does make me wonder what william's ability and perks would be if he were put in the game, tbh.
but thank you for the kind words!! i'm still fairly new to the game, w only like... roughly 700 hours i think, but i really love it and the characters and i can talk about it for. a hot second, obviously. i'm committing character lore into memory, and i try to have that reflect in my writing as best as i can so!!
fhdjksfghd yeah anyways. i will stop yapping.
#anon#im sorry if this was a request i. just love yapping i fear#and this gave me funny thoughts#images of william afton boasting about his kills#while everyone shakes their head in disappointment#bc honestly i dont think most of them would care abt it but also like#cmon man... kids??? where's the thrill??? they can't fight back bro#i do hope it's a chapter collab tbh but. idk cosmetic seems more likely but#who knows. fingers crossed.#i want vanessa in the game.... so badly..... i'll abandon trying to p100 yunjin for her....#im just sayin. chapter or cosmetic collab idc dwight needs a fazbear entertainment employee cosmetic#THIS ISNT WILLIAM AFTON SLANDER BTW i just like bullying him#dbd#dead by daylight#discussions with v.#new tag for sorting:#v talks dbd.#for when i yap too much about it...
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
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i think working in emergency management would be so fitting for me and my interests. i used to be obsessed as a kid w the cold war and civil defense programs. but i couldn’t articulate what i wanted to know. i wanted to know why they were the way they were, why they made the choices they did and what they’re doing now in the same way. covid fascinated me bc of that. i worked for ups at the time and i loved reading the internal information system stuff about it bc it seemed they already had some plan and i wanted to be the people that did that.
#i love systems!! i love processes! i love how they go wrong and how they go right and developing ways to make them more resilient!!#also i care about people and i know there’s trust in institutions to continue functioning and like i want to be part of that.#so like emergency management or social work.#but thinking abt going back to school hurts bc i’ve already fucked up my financial aid bc i wasn’t really ready yet#oh well. my own fault. no one made me do that.#it hurts to think about what i could do bc it feels like those opportunities aren’t there for me anymore.#im only 23 but i still have nothing to show for it. i should have gotten a degree by now.#and ive tried but i couldn’t swing community college.#but also like. i didnt know then what i know now. but what if it doesn’t matter.#what if i really am just averse to doing anything.#i dont think i am but evidence seems to point to me being uh. pointless.
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