#but then he's the type to still believe in santa

[gemkun]

@theircurse said : ❛ i heard the houses here give out huge candy bars. ❜ ( Tecchou ) ↬ &. 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

      ⸻       in   passing   ,   the   hunting   dog   had   come   across   the   mention   of   this   celebration   ,   that   the   child   now   urges   him   to   take   part   in.   beckoning   with   a   minor   initiation   ,   to   input   himself   as   a   participant   through   the   simple   act   of   going   around   ,   house   to   house   ,   knocking   at   doors   or   ringing   doorbells   to   request   for   some   confectionary.   a   trivial   and   innocuous   deed   ,   done   for   this   annual   occasion.

  but   what   did   the   attainment   of   candy   have   to   do   with   warding   off   evil   spirits   ?

  he   will   trouble   himself   with   the   correlation   later   ,   for   now   ,   he   scoops   up   yumeno's   proffered   hand   ,   gingerly   accepting   the   latter   part   of   trick   —   or   —   treating.   ❝   then   let's   try   and   collect   as   many   as   possible.   just   make   sure   not   to   eat   them   all   at   once.   unless   you   wish   for   a   stomach   ache.   ❞   which   he   has   witnessed   ,   countless   times   ,   among   the   collective   of   his   organisation.   with   only   jouno   as   the   one   unburdened.   due   to   his   preoccupation   in   other   activities.

  ones   that   won't   be   voiced   around   yumeno.   stepping   up   to   their   first   visit   of   the   evening   ,   tecchou's   lashes   lower.   ❝   do   you   need   me   to   lift   you   up   so   you   can   ring   the   doorbell   ?   ❞

[bluelocksource]

Alexis Ness’ trivia (src: EGOIST BIBLE 2)

☆ Character's color: Magical Purple.

☆ Weapon : Illusion Cross.

☆ Birthday: 16th March.

☆ Current age: 18 (at the start of NEL).

☆ Zodiac: Pisces.

☆ Nickname: "The Magician"

☆ Birthplace: Hamburg, Germany.

☆ Family: Father. Mother. Older brother. Older Sister. Himself.

☆ Current height: 181 cm.

☆ Foot size: 28 cm.

☆ Dominant foot: Right.

☆ Blood type: AB.

☆ Visual acuity: 1.0

☆ Grip strength: 53 kg.

☆ Motto: "Magic resides in those who believe."

☆ Team: Bastard München.

☆ Starts playing football: At age 8. "First time I saw it in a stadium. I will never forget that football magic."

☆ Hobby: Discovering magic. "The world is filled with all kinds of magic!"

☆ Favorite food: Sachertorte. "The combo with whipped cream and coffee is the best!"

☆ Dislike/hated food: Herring pie. "My mom isn’t a great cook, and this one is especially terrible."

☆ What goes best with rice:  "Cheese curry, maybe. "

☆ Favorite animal: Flying squirrel. "It's cute and can fly—how fantastical!"

☆ Favorite season: Winter. "A clear winter sky makes feel like I could fly."

☆ Favorite movie: The Notebook.

☆ Favorite music: "The Rose" by Bette Midler.

☆ Favorite football player: Michael Kaiser.

☆ Favorite subject: Ethics & P.E.

☆ Weak subject: Maths & Physics.

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: "Probably mushroom. They have cute shape!"

☆ Ideal type: "A strong person who can control their solitude."

☆ Fixation: Lonely expressions. "It makes me feel like I can understand their solitude."

☆ What would make him happy: "When others share in my excitement."

☆ What would make him upset: "The denial of magic I believed in." 

☆ What he thinks his strength is: Valuing the invisible (feelings, wishes, thoughts).

☆ What he thinks his weakness is: Stubbornness. "Not bending on what I believe in (though I don’t really think of it as a weakness)."

☆ What made him cry recently: “I can’t remember. I cry often. My tear ducts are very sensitive... Hehe ♪”

☆ Usual sleeping hour: 6.5 hours.

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: 10. "It seems they were delivered to my team! Thank you!"

☆ Place he washes first when taking a bath: His arms.

☆ What will he do if received 100 million yen: "I’d probably consult with Kaiser. I might say something like “I don’t need this crap,” though!"

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: "I didn’t have that kind of thing at home. So I prepared my own stockings. Not that he ever came."

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: "Anything was fine. Anything at all."

☆ How he spent his holiday:  "Training with Kaiser. Eating with Kaiser. Shopping with Kaiser. With Kaiser... etc."

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: "I hope for a miracle so that day won’t actually be the last."

☆ Favorite historical figure: Joan of Arc.

☆ If he hadn't encountered soccer, what will he be doing: "I wonder if I would still believe in magic."

☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be: "Kaiser. Wait, is a human not allowed? Then I don’t need anything."

☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: The past. "I would hug my younger self, who believed in magic and cried alone, and tell them, “It’s okay to be just as you are.”"

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!

[fellthemarvelous]

Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

[lucvly]

— christmas headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: fluff, cursing, mentions of sex, not proofread as always.

a/n: this is soo self indulgent help !! i love christmas fr.

— he’ll act like he literally doesn’t give a shit about christmas but on december 1 he’s already staying up late thinking about what he’s gonna give you.

— i don’t even wanna hear discourse about this but this man acts like a child around the holidays. he’ll enjoy december like he’s a 10 year old child who still thinks santa’s real.

— my man is quick to hang up those lights. it’ll deadass be mid november and he’s already asking you when you’re gonna decorate because he wants to help you.

— gingerbread house making is a must. he loves it. you do it at least three times in december because it’s by far one of his favorite traditions. of course he ends up building something that doesn’t look nearly close to a house but A for effort.

— you get matching ugly sweaters obviously. it’s your job to get them every year, and they progressively get worse. chris always complains about how itchy they are LMFAOO.

— baking christmas cookies with him is such a chore for real. you can’t even let him open the flour because it either ends up all on the floor, or on your face. don’t even ask him how to preheat the oven because those cookies will end up burnt.

— most times you have to make three or four batches of cookies because the first batch turns out awful, the second one: burnt.

— once your relationship gets really serious, you two make christmas cards and send them to your close family and relatives. it’s corny, sure, but you both love doing it.

— once every year, you go with him and his brothers for a late night drive just to see how people decorated around the neighborhood. chris always ends up falling asleep on your shoulder in the backseat while nick is yelling about how the lights should’ve been hung higher or how the reindeer is out of place.

— you best believe you’re writing letters to santa. it’s unserious but chris loves doing it, especially because he gets to write something along the lines of: “santa, all i want for christmas is my girlfriend under the tree. thx. — C” LMFAOOAOA sorry.

— you’re absolutely making matching ornaments. they have your initials on them it’s adorable. though decorating them is painful as hell because chris always ends up throwing glitter at you.

— takes elf on the shelf so serious like calm down!!! he better not catch anyone laying a finger on that dumbass elf or he’ll go absolutely insane.

— going christmas shopping with him is adorable. he gets so excited over what to get his brothers and his parents AWW, and he also gets a present for trevor obviously.

— you are never gonna know what that man gets you for christmas. he hides it so well it surprises you each year to be honest. you’re out here thinking he didn’t even get you a present and he’s already packing up at least three.

— definitely an expensive gift type of boyfriend, i’m talking tiffany necklaces, chanel bags, dior, ysl. and he doesn’t even care because seeing you happy makes him 10 times happier. (“baby, you didn’t have to– oh my god.” “i know, but i wanted to. you deserve it.”)

— of course you also get him cute and expensive gifts but you could seriously give him a rock and he’d cherish it as if you just gave him a gold bar.

— you two will absolutely watch christmas movies together, especially romcoms. he loves christmas romcoms LMFAOO. he’s the type to complain about the main character idc.

— he hangs up a mistletoe on his door just so he can tease you and give you a kiss every time you walk into his room. (“look, mistletoe, you gotta kiss me.” “chris i swear to god.”)

— christmas dinners are hilarious bye. he’ll deadass be eating 3 or 4 plates with no shame at all. you’re staring at him in disbelief and he just looks at you with his mouth full like “😊”. at least he’s happy LMFAOO.

— he gives you at least three presents. the first one is marked “from: santa, to: y/n” obviously you know it’s him LMFAO he thinks it’s cute and you just leave him be. second one is marked “from: chris, to: his girlfriend.” as if he wasn’t the one marking up those presents BYE. third one is “from: the best boyfriend ever, to: the prettiest girl.” he’s so cute somebody sedate me !!

— one hundred percent asks nick and matt to figure out what you got him for christmas. you’ve figured this out over the years so you don’t even give them hints anymore LMAOO.

— the worst jokes over the holidays seriously. (“hold on. babe, which cooking seasoning is the most festive?” “chris–” “christmas thyme.”) he needs to be stopped lord have mercy.

— secretly loves decorating. he’ll decorate with you all day fr. ornaments, mistletoes, the tree in general is his favorite. he cannot deal with putting up lights though. it pisses him off so badly– (only because he ends up tangled in them).

— i just know he makes hot chocolate with water. nuh uh. you had to teach him the correct way (with milk) because it was seriously getting on your nerves LMAO.

— he gets so lovey dovey over the holidays. he’s also horny 24/7 but that’s completely besides the point HELP. hands around your waist, arm around your shoulder, hand holding, everything.

— matching pjs YUP. he loves matching christmas outfits with you LMAO especially pjs. y’all have like four matching pj sets every year it’s so cute.

[sofiafantasies]

Imagine: Jack observing you tuck in your sibling into bed that believes in him

Disclaimer; This is inspired by a post from @cutiepieloves131

"Cupcake!" You called for your sister. She was jumping up and down on the bed. It wasn't anything new seeing her this happy. She was telling you a story. She says it happened weeks after you left for collage.

Cupcake ran outside her room and into the kitchen. "Yeah?" You looked at her after drying your hands on your shirt. "Uh, why don't you go to bed, I'll tuck you in and you can tell me all about it, okay?" You walked up to her and crouched down placing your hand on her shoulder.

She smiled widely and nodded. She ran up to her room and you stood up laughing and shacking your head. You walked upstairs and opened Cupcake's room. She was jumping around and waving to the window or whoever was outside.

You walked next to her. "Uh, Cupcake, who are waving at, honey?" She looked at you with a big grin. "Jack Frost!" She said. You puckered your lips and nodded slowly. "Who- you know what? Doesn't matter." You gestured to the bed. "Get on the bed, please."

She turned around and walked to the bed. You came to the other side of the bed not noticing a certain winter spirit watching you through the window. "Cupcake?" You asked as she seemed to look around her bed. "What are you looking for?"

"My unicorn. Have you seen it?" She asked desperately. You looked around and saw it near me in the window seat. You smiled and walked over there. You picked it up and as you stood you noticed frost on the window. "Weird..." You mumble totally obvious to the person hanging upside down your window, observing you.

"Cupcake, I found her..." You turned to look at the he window one last time and then walked towards Cupcake and walked to the other side of the bed. "Yay! Thank you!" She hugged the plush and you smiled. "So, that story?" You sat on the bed facing her.

"Right!" She sat up on the bed. "So it all started outside two days after you left. I was building a snowman and all of a sudden a snowball hit me!" She laughed and so did you.

"When I turned around I saw Jamie and his friends. We started playing with the snow until Jamie fell and rode his sled all over the streets! It was awesome!" She stood up and spread her arms and giggled. You laughed as Jack - who still observed you two - chuckled.

"But he did end up with a missing teeth..." You sighted and placed a hand in her chubby cheek. "I'm glad you got the courage to have fun and play with kids about your age."

"Me too! Then there was this whole thing where the Easter bunny didn't show up. But after Jamie made us believe in the Tooth Fairy, Sandman, The Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, and Jack Frost!"

You looked at her confused. "Jack Frost?" You asked as you pulled her down to lay on her bed. "Yeah! Jack Frost, is the spirit of winter and now guardian of fun!" She got comfy and you smiled at her. "How does he look like?" You asked. "Well, close your eyes." You did what Cupcake said.

"Imagine a guy with white hair-"

"White?" You asked as you opened your eyes. "Yes white now close your eyes!" She giggled and you closed your eyes. "Okay, so, he has pale skin, blue eyes, he wears a blue hoodie with brown pants, and he's usually and all the time, barefoot."

"Hmm, he's cute." You said with your eyes still closed. "You have even seen him!" She giggled. Jack chuckled as he got right side up and observed you. You opened your eyes and laughed. "Well, I'm imagining him!" You tickled her and she laughed telling you to stop and you did.

"Okay, no more games. You have school tomorrow." You said and Cupcake's smile dropped. "I don't wanna go to school..." She sounded sad which got yours and Jack's attention. "Why?" You asked as you tucked her in. "The kids at school think I'm weird."

"Aw, Cupcake, I'm sorry. What do they say to you?" You placed your hand in her cheek. "They say all types of mean things." She hugs her unicorn closer. "You don't have to tell me now just know you are beautiful," You said already getting an idea of why they are being mean to her.

"Smart, kind, and very sweet. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise." You say as you grab her hands. "You are gorgeous, inside and out. Okay?"

"Okay." She smiled and you smiled as well. You kissed her forehead and stood up. Jack looks at you with a soft smile. You walked to the door and opened it. "Okay, goodnight." You say as you look at her tired figure. "Goodnight." You frowned and then you got an idea. "I'll bake you some cookies tomorrow, yeah?" You say as you reach for the lights.

"Yeah!" She yelled making you giggled. You look out the window seeing the frost still there, both Frost. You smirked and turned the lights off. You close the door behind you. Jack moves to the next window and looks at you. "Jack Frost, eh?" You say to yourself.

[slowlyoats]

The Lost Boys: When they break up with or are broken up with by their S/O

******Note: This post definitely makes the boys come off super toxic, so if that's not your thing you've been warned******

Marko 

I could see him being the one to break Hearts

His artsy fartsy ways of doing things aren’t for everyone 

And he’s a bit of hot head, so I could see him starting fights with his S/O over nothing 

I think his S/O would feel like they were walking around on eggshells whenever they were around Marko and it would become to much eventually 

He can be so thoughtful and genuine with his S/O, but then in another moment be so cruel 

He gets bored easily, and will just stop hanging out with you mid relationship because he just not “inspired anymore”

I think he is the type of person to not care about who does the breaking up either 

If you want to break up with him? Fine. He doesn’t care, and to prove that point he will throw any belongings of yours that you left in cave, right into the ocean

If he sees you on the boardwalk, and you try to talk to him? He will pretend like he never met you before and introduce himself. 

Yep, he's that type of asshole 

He’s not afraid to break things off himself either

Except when he does it full of theatrical flare, and usually ends in blood 

Paul

I Think most of his break ups were do to him being a little bit of a player

It’s not his fault that when he sees a beautiful woman walking down the boardwalk he checks them out!

Or that when you two were at a party he lets some other randoms grind on him

The worst part is that he won’t take responsibility for it either 

He will just blame it on his “vampire instincts” 

He still acts like a teenager too, which is S/O finds infuriating 

He won’t wash unless reminded too, so he’s a little smelly and he tries to hide it with cheap cologne 

He never has any money and has to constantly asks for an allowance from David or money from his S/O

I think Paul has a new girlfriend every few days too

It’s to the point where whenever he introduces a new girlfriend to the boys they don’t even bother learning their name. 

And sometimes Paul won’t even bother introducing them in the first place because he know they don’t tend to last 

Of course he doesn’t believe he has anything to do with it. He just blames it on how “Santa Carla women are”

So all these thing together could force his S/O to break up with him 

I think it would happen on the boardwalk too

The two of you meet, and as your telling him your breaking up with him he checks out someone mid convo 

I think his S/O would just give up halfway through their “I’m breaking up with you” speech and just walk away 

Unfortunately, I don’t think Paul would really care 

I don’t think his relationships ever truly reach the serious stage

He prefers his relationships unclear and full of spontaneity 

He’s also very lazy, so he’s fine when someone breaks up with him so he doesn’t have to put the effort into doing it himself 

Dwayne 

he is a very private person, and rarely seeks out human companionship unless it is to secure his next meal 

But every once in a while he meets a human he moderately like more than most humans and decides to pursue them

When this happens he never introduces them to the boys and never brings them back to the cave 

In his mind their secret is far too valuable to risk it’s exposure 

Because of this his S/O can get frustrated that Dwayne doesn’t share at lot of his personal life with them 

So The relationship can feel very one sided 

Dwayne is also really bad with verbal communication and tends to lean on non verbal cues to get his point across 

I think Dwayne also has a “thing” about people breaking up with him so if he suspects that the relationship has run its course he will just end things first 

He also has this other “thing” where he can’t stand seeing someone he used to be in a relationship with be with another person….so usually when he breaks up with someone it also ends in a meal 

David 

Like we all know, David likes to be in control.

He’s the leader that calls the shots no questions asked

This would definitely be same when he is in a relationship

He chooses where they go, who they hang out with, and what they do in general

I think his S/O would be okay with this at first. They knew what they signed up for when they started dating him

And they would definitely believe that the positives in their relationship would outway the negatives.

Sure David won't let them go for a walk by themselves, but at least they're safe right?

And they can’t choose what they wear either, but that's just because David knows best.

But like most things the reality of who David is would probably be wayyyyy too much for most people. 

I think once David’s S/O removed their rose colored glasses and realized they wanted out

 It would be a  huge challenge to convince David of this fact

David’s S/O:  David, we need to talk.

*David fixing something on his chair* What did you say Sweetheart?

David’s S/O:  David I’m not happy I don't want to be with you anymore.

*David pretending to look around the cave for something* I don’t think I heard you right, love. What did you want again?

David’s S/O: David….

David: It’s okay love, you don’t need to talk. Why don’t you keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut and let's go for a ride with the boys. 

I think once his S/O managed to get him to acknowledge the fact that they wanted out of the relationship, one of two things would happen.

David would drain you himself, or give you to the boys to drain

or

David’s complex would not allow the thought he was being broken up with so, I could see him using his mind control powers to change your mind into staying with him

This wouldn't last long though. I can only imagine a person being mind controlled to be in love with you would get kind of old after a while. And David is kind of a jerk

So, I could see David mind wiping his S/O and leaving them somewhere to fend for themselves

[thetriumphantpanda]

the gift that keeps giving | marcus pike

Summary | Isn't it just your luck to get the office hottie as your secret santa this year?

Pairing | Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Word Count | 1.4K

Warnings | Just... Marcus Pike being Marcus Pike, some flirting and general office banter and a steamy kiss but nothing explicit!

Authors Note | To my Cheese & Crackers. My Darling Friend. I hope this makes your festive season that little bit lighter. I hope you love this because I love you, to the moon and back and beyond. Thank you for making 2023 that little bit easier. Happy Christmas @undercoverpena 🧡

“That’s looking a little worse for wear.” Marcus, stood at your desk, waiting for his report, finger pointed at the very much dead succulent on your desk.

You look up from your desk, fingers still flitting across the keyboard as you race to finish the notes he’d asked for.

“It’s looking dead, Marcus.”

“I was trying not to rub it in,” He shrugs, running a finger over one of the branches, a look of remorse on his face when he snaps off and lands on the white of the desk, “But yeah, that’s very much dead.”

“Frank deserved it.” You shrug, eyes never leaving your screen.

“Frank?”

“Yes, Frank,” You nod your head towards the succulent, “You’re meant to name plants, makes you more attached to them, more likely to care properly for them,” Another shrug of your shoulders, “Now look at him, showing me up as a bad mother.”

Marcus can’t help but chuckle a little, “You’ll have to get yourself another.”

“If I can’t keep a succulent alive,” You sigh, fingers slowing ever-so-slightly on the keyboard, “There isn’t much hope for anything else.”

“I believe in you.” He offers.

You stare at him through your lashes, a look that warns him that he needs to be quiet, “You know, the longer you stand there distracting me, the longer it’ll take me to type these notes up?”

“I always thought you thrived on pressure?” He teases, reminding you of a conversation a few months ago where you’d admitted that the best work you produce is always to a time crunch.

“Marcus, respectfully,” You finally look up at him properly, “You need to leave me alone, if you go and sit down in your office and leave me to it, this report will be on your desk in the next twenty minutes.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re late.” Your voice is monotone as Marcus hurries out of the elevator.

“I know.” He’s stressed, twenty minutes late to his debrief meeting.

“I told you last night what time you needed to be here.”

He runs a hand over his face, taking the manila file from your hand, flicking through it to make sure he knows what the fuck is going on right now.

“I’ve just moved.”

You sigh, shake your head, but keep up his pace as you race through the office, “What’s that got to do with you being late?”

“The fridge magnet,” He offers, as if you’ll know exactly what he’s talking about, “I lost it when I moved.”

“Am I supposed to make the link myself?”

He stops at his desk, blindly opening drawers, rooting through papers to try and find something, “I used it to pin important things on the fridge, like when I need to be in to speak to the big boss.”

You shake your head, trailing behind him again as he starts walking again, “You can get a damn fridge magnet on every street corner, Marcus.”

“I know,” He says, a little breathless, as he finally comes to the meeting room door, “I’ll get around to it eventually, promise.”

There’s a small gift bag sitting on your desk when you come back from the Christmas lunch. There are an array of other gift bags and small wrapped presents on everyone’s desk. You sigh, flopping into your chair. Someone from the finance team is already passing around glasses of something fizzy, work clearly done for the day. Someone is hooking their phone up to the a speaker. You look left and right, making sure that no-one is looking, before you pull open the top of the back and peer in.

You can’t quite believe it, reaching your hand inside to grasp the pot, pulling it out. A scoff leaves your mouth, a small cactus sitting in a pot that’s been painted like a Christmas jumper. You shake your head, a laugh escaping as you drag a finger over the little spines, like you always do when trying to choose a new plant. You push the bag out of the way, setting the small plant down on your desk, right where Frank had been before.

You use your fingers to turn it around, setting it perfectly in place, when those familiar legs come into view, perfectly pressed trousers right in your eyeline, but it isn’t the legs you’re really looking at, although you do sometimes, it’s his fingers, pressing a fridge magnet onto your desk, sliding it across to you, a magnet that is now so familiar to you, having stood in that damn gift shop for almost thirty minutes try to choose the right one. One with a watercolour painting splashed across it, one that you know he likes, never shutting about what the colours mean and how it makes him feel.

“Oh my god,” You feign surprise, “Does this mean you’ll be on time from now on?”

“It looks like,” He’s got a smile on his mouth when you look at him, “Also means you’ll be able to get off my case.”

You smile back at him, “I’m pretty sure I’m the only reason you still have a job after your timekeeping this past month,” You tease, “But sure, if you want me off your case that bad, I’ll leave you alone.”

His attention moves from the magnet to the cactus already having pride of place on your desk. He picks it up, annoying you slightly as you’d just got it in the right position for you, “What are you going to name it?”

You raise your eyebrow, a knowing look in your eye, “It’s your gift, Marcus, you should name it.”

Marcus drops his head, a snort of a laugh breathing from his nostrils, “That obvious, huh?”

“About as obvious as this.” You bring your fingers to the fridge magnet.

You hold his eyes, watching as he thinks for a second, before he offers his name, “Vincent.”

There’s an actual laugh that drops from your mouth now, “You’re so predictable, Pike,” You shake your head, “Of course it would be an artist.”

He shifts from foot to foot a little, “You know,” His hand comes nervously to the back of his neck, “If it wasn’t for the damn $5 cap, I’d have gotten us a gift certificate to this restaurant downtown that I like.”

You breath catches in your throat slightly, because there’s no way, there’s no way that means what it means, “Us?”

“Yeah, I mean, if you’d like it of course,” His nervous hand running up and down the side of his neck, “I don’t need a secret santa to take you out.”

You shake your head a little, bite your bottom lip, “It’s funny, because if it hadn’t been for the $5 dollar cap, I would have got us tickets to the new exhibition at the gallery.”

Your words sink in, him realising you want him just as much as he wants you, outside of this office and the professional relationship you have.

“And what if dinner came with a kiss?”

“What if the exhibition came with one too?”

He’s taking hold of your wrist, dragging you from your chair, back out of the office and down towards the privacy of the alcove near the elevator. Your back, pressed against the wall, Marcus’ hands on your waist as his mouth finally slants over your own. It’s exactly how you’d imagined it for all these months, soft but sure, warm hands seeping through the layers of your clothes. And he tastes exactly as you thought he would, slightly sweet, considering his sweet tooth, and you can taste the beer he drank at lunch. It’s intoxicating. You slip your hands under the shoulders of his suit jacket, gripping the broadness of him as he pulls away.

“Gotta keep your hands to yourself,” He whispers against your mouth, “If you don’t we’re gonna be sat with HR in the morning.”

You bite your lip, leaning towards him a little to press your lips gently to his own, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, agent.”

He looks at you, fire in his eyes, “Go and get your things,” It’s a strict order, that floats straight to settle in your tummy, “I’m sure I can get us in for dinner somewhere.”

“Yes, sir.”

[charlesfoxtrotswife]

my understanding of epithet erased characters view of santa claus

molly - lorelai told her santa isn’t real. she cried herself to sleep that night.

giovanni - he knows santa isn’t real but will live in delusion.

sylvie - pretends he doesn’t believe in santa. absolutely does.

mera - she knows he isn’t real

indus - he does NOT know. mera was the first person to tell him.

every banzai - giovanni is trying to gaslight them into thinking santa’s real. ben is the only one who believes it completely.

percy - she knows he’s fake. she’s percy.

ramsey - he knows santa isn’t real. he’s the type of guy to dress as santa on christmas.

zora - she figured it out when her parents died and all the sudden no more presents.

lorelai - martin told her like a whiiiiiile ago. he did it on accident opposie poopsie.

trixie - believes it. getting skeptical. just thinks they’re on the naughty list.

feenie - ONE BAJILLION PERCENT CONVINCED SANTA IS REAL.

rick - “what is a santa?? a fat man breaks in your house and leaves gifts?? what a joyous holiday!! :3” he’s odd.

stink and stonk - santa defenders till the GRAVE.

yoomtah - knows he isn’t real. doesn’t care. still very merry around the holidays.

naven - knows he isn’t real. FORCED to be merry on the holidays.

bonus- charles and moot - charles knows he isn’t real but still absolutely loves christmas and that mistletoe shit. moot knows he isn’t real and doesn’t really care.

[jimblejamblewritings]

starlight moonlight sunlight — blurb seven

Title: Happy Fucking Holidays

Pairing: ex!Remus x reader, Remus x Sirius, eventual poly!Wolfstar x reader

Warnings: catching a partner cheating, angst, hurt no comfort

blurb series navigation here | previous blurb here

Everyone had started to retire for the night, thoroughly tired from James’ late night of baking cookies, gingerbread house competitions, Secret Santa and white elephant (because both were absolutely necessary according to him), and holiday movies. You left in the middle of the second movie, being the first to call it a night, but you weren’t tired. It was just a bit difficult to see everyone get presents from their family and you were left to do nothing but wonder if yours were safe. 

Remus came upstairs when he and Sirius were ready to finally have alone time. He stood in the threshold of your doorway until you came out of the bathroom. You went straight to him, giving him a hug and a peck on the lips. 

“Are you alright to go to bed?” 

“Yeah. I’m just missing everyone.” 

He hugged you a bit tighter. “I know it’s hard, dovey. But you’ll see them sooner than you know it.” 

“I hope they’re liking England.” 

“I bet they are living it up.” 

You smiled. He was right. It was best to think of them in happy and blissful situations. Bidding your boyfriend a goodnight, you grabbed the journal you bought from a shop in Hogsmeade and sat on the bed. You were still working on your book. That was something you wanted to finish, just for yourself. Even if the manuscript never got published or only sold two copies, you wanted to write it. A typewriter was an option but handwriting grounded you so you decided that you’d handwrite the first draft and type up everything else. Your head snapped up when you heard sharp pecking on the window. It was from an owl with a letter. 

In Sirius’ room, he and Remus were getting themselves ready to do anything but sleep. Tentatively, their hands were exploring each other in a way they hadn’t in months. Every other word that poured out of Remus’ mouth was a declaration of love or a statement about how much he missed his boyfriend. Sirius chuckled as he got up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Why do you want to know, Lupin?” 

It was all of five seconds before Remus was off the bed and backing his boyfriend up against the wall. “You drive me crazy, you know.” 

The only thing Sirius could hear was his heart pounding in his ears, not the soft pounding of your sock covered feet as you came running towards the room with good news about getting a job at a bookstore. His lips crashed against Remus, moaning into his boyfriend’s mouth and pulling on his shirt to get the man as close to him as possible. Both men paused when multiple leaves hit their face. They looked up at the sudden cloud of petals that cascaded over them and then back at each other. 

Sirius’ eyebrows scrunched. “Where the fuck did that co—” 

“Rem?” 

They both froze at the sound of your voice and the door slamming shut behind you. Sirius just shook his head like he didn’t want to believe it was you. Slowly, Remus turned his head. You were, in fact, standing in their doorway. Tears began to stream down your face as you just stared at their half naked bodies still touching.

“What are you doing?” That was the only thing you could manage to say even though you knew what they were clearly doing. 

“Fuck,” Sirius muttered. 

Remus extended a hand. “Dovey, come here, please.” 

Feet moving on their own, you met Remus and then followed him to the bed. He and Sirius were sitting next to each other while you were across from them. 

“I know what this looks like and it isn’t exac—” 

“We’ve been together since you stopped writing to him because he thought you were broken up.” 

“Sirius!” 

“What?! You were taking too long and making it worse for her.” 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but you’ve been through so much that we wanted you to get settled here first and get well-adjusted to your new life. No one at school knows we’re together so we just kept hiding it. I wasn’t trying to hurt you… Dove, please say something.” 

The only thing that actually happened was another cloud of petals as you drew your knees up to your chest. Sirius moved closer to you, hugging you as best as he could. 

“He was going to tell you soon. We’re both sorry you found out this way.” 

Remus smiled at his boyfriend’s very gentle tone. Comforting people wasn’t an area of expertise for Sirius. He preferred to be left alone to wallow but apparently a lot of people weren’t like that. You must’ve been one of those people because you hadn’t pushed him away yet. 

You felt like an idiot in more ways than one. Up until recently, Sirius didn’t like you and Remus wasn’t as affectionate. It wasn’t like you didn’t notice but you hadn’t put together why exactly they were behaving that way, figuring it was just an adjustment period. 

“This is my fault,” you whispered. “I should’ve found a way to write to you.” 

“Y/N, no. You couldn’t help your circumstances. These things just happen sometimes.” 

“But if I had written…”

Sirius grabbed your face in both of his hands. “Then you would’ve been in danger. Remus is right. It isn’t your fault. Okay?” 

“I guess.” 

The two men looked at each other. Maybe that was the best they were going to get for now. Sirius smiled at you. 

“Atta girl, dollface. You probably don’t want to talk right now but would it make you feel better to do so? We can watch a movie first, do something to break the tension then talk?” 

You nodded. “I think I’d like a movie first.” 

“Let’s do that then. Do you want to watch one here, the living room, or your room?” 

You looked around, unsure. Sirius kept picking spiky succulent leaves from your hair as they popped up until there was a significantly large pile between him and his boyfriend. Remus looked down at the pile. How exactly did you make the plants appear out of nowhere? And was there a finite amount you could make? Because it was kind of concerning how many plants were littering Sirius’ room. 

“Let’s just watch something up here. Then we won’t have to cast anything to not disturb anyone.” He decided for everyone before you turned into a wilted bush. 

“Okay.” 

They waited for you to get yourself comfortable before moving to configure themselves around you until you were sandwiched in between them. It felt like rubbing salt in the wound if they cuddled up. Sirius handed you a pillow to hug while Remus put on a movie. This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go. Remus’ speech was supposed to be perfect and tear-saving. You were very quiet to the point where Remus couldn’t even hear you breathing. Something he definitely should be able to hear so close to you. His heart shattered when you jumped at the hand placed on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay to cry, dov— Y/N.” 

The use of your name alone did actually make you start crying again. You really weren’t sure what was happening in the movie. It wasn’t exactly easy to see through tears. 

“Do you want to turn the movie off?” 

You shook your head, not ready to talk but not wanting to drag this into the next few days. Remus looked over your head when Sirius began moving. He set down his pillow and blanket. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat?” 

“Um, just whatever you bring.” 

“Okay. Ba— Moony, do you want anything?” 

“Just some of the leftovers and tea.” 

“Got it. Be right back.” 

Without thinking, Sirius leaned over and pecked Remus on the lips. He turned to you and did the same, pulling away before you really registered what happened. His eyes went wide as he looked from you to Remus multiple times. You were frozen in place the moment you actually registered what he did. 

“Babe,” Sirius squeaked. “Come with me to the kitchen, please.” 

You watched Remus scramble off the bed and follow his boyfriend. Despite the door slamming behind them, you could still hear Sirius repeating either “Merlin” or “shit” over and over again. They could spend an hour in the kitchen for all you cared — you needed a very long moment to yourself to process whatever just happened. How dare he kiss you, even if it was accidentally. Still. How dare he. And why did you keep thinking about it? Planting your face into the pillow, very aware now how much it smelled like Sirius, you screamed before falling backwards and attempting to smother yourself with a pillow.

| next blurb here |

THIS TAGLIST:

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PERMANENT TAGLIST:

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[booksndpoetry]

Morning Coffee

A Hyunjin Drabble

A/N: Americano is a type of coffee, yes?

WC: 480 words

Characters: Hyunjin X Fem Reader

Genre: Fluff

Triggers/Warnings: The characters are morning people, and one of them dislikes coffee; you have been warned.

m.list

The both of you wake when the outside world is still half-asleep, early enough to hear the chirping of birds and the rare quiet of the sleepy city.

You throw open the curtains, rub your eyes and stretch, with your head falling back on his stomach as you lose the battle to sleep, plopping down on the soft sheets of the bed.

He just chuckles and pinches your cheek, and he gets up offering you, his hand.

You accept it and he pulls you up, and you feel like your day is complete even if the sun is just rising. 

You open the balcony door and step into the space, clad in a white nightgown. He follows in after, the ceramic mug, the one with cartoon splotches of pink blue and pastel that you gifted him last year, with freshly brewed coffee in one hand. Steam rises from the drink, warming the air around the two of you. 

He wraps his right hand around your waist and the left holds the mug. You lean into him, basking in the morning light. 

You don't drink coffee, as you're not a fan of its caffeine content. Truly, you can’t stand the scent of it and you absolutely detest its taste. 

However, despite this fact, Hyunjin always offers you a sip every morning before he takes his first gulp. As if it's some unspoken agreement that says,

 'Hey, I love you. Therefore, I will not have anything for myself without offering it to you first.'

You think it's endearing, the way he wants you to be included in that little habit too.

Just for that, you take a sip sometimes, like today, and make sure to grimace dramatically, exaggerating the bitter relish and complaining about how no one should technically like coffee and he laughs. 

 He laughs like he's seven and you're his best friend and you've just told him that Santa isn't real. He definitely doesn't believe you, but he loves you enough to play along and nod, even as residual, brown rings form along the inner diameters of the cup and the sun shines brighter in the sky and the world around you slowly comes back to life. 

He leans on your shoulders for a little while more, gaining strength to go about his day, as you do the same. 

He gives you one last kiss before you go, presses it tenderly onto your amaranth lips and your heart for safekeeping until he can give you one more when he sees you again, and you feel your opinion crumble.

No, you don't like coffee, especially not in the morning.

Because it's too bitter, and caffeine never leaves your bloodstream even if you drink it only once.

But you love the taste of it when it's smeared on your lips by his, the acrid drink suddenly the sweetest thing in the world. 

© booksndpoetry 2024. All rights reserved. Please do not plagiarise, translate, repost or steal my works in any way. All idols used in this piece are just inspiration to characters. They do not reflect the real people in any way.

[reidingandwriting]

Lover (Steve Harrington’s Version)

Chapter Five: Lover

“I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all”

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Fem!Reader, mentions of pregnancy, mild language

A/N: This is the end of the Steve series, but I will be working on an Eddie series soon! Trying to decide where I want to put him but I had the most fun writing this one so I hope y’all enjoyed <3

Previous chapter

“Settle down, settle down,” Steve scolded while laughing. You and Steve had hosted Christmas at your house, your shared house. Steve couldn’t believe it. The two of you had a house together. Granted, it was a rental but still. You had a home. One that he could host holidays at, one decorated with Christmas lights and a beautiful Christmas tree that had piles of presents underneath. A Christmas record played loudly throughout the house, the house bustling with conversation and laughter.

You were so excited to have hosted the group; hot chocolate had been made for the teens (spiked for the adults) and you and Steve had made Christmas cookies the night before. Well, you made them. Steve was allowed to decorate while you baked. Steve cooked dinner as you cleaned, and you were braiding Max’s hair, talking to Nancy and Robin, while Max talked to El and Erica. You were a little off the last few days, and you were insistent that everything was perfect.

Even now, you seemed to be worried about something from the way you gnawed at your bottom lip. You finished braiding Max’s hair with a smile and then declared it was time to pass out presents. The group decided to do a Secret Santa type of exchange and as you settled into your spot beside Steve, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Dustin, why don’t you and Lucas pass out the presents?” Steve suggested and the boys got up, quickly passing out gifts.

“Who’s first?” Robin asked and you paused for a moment.

“Erica, why don’t you go first? Then you can pick who’s next.” You smiled at the youngest member of the group and Erica nodded as she opened her present. Erica had been gifted a Dungeons & Dragons book and new dice from Dustin. Will was given a similar gift from Mike, Max received new cassettes for her Walkman, Dustin received one of Eddie’s old jackets and guitar pick necklaces (and Steve definitely didn’t get a little pouty about it).

By the end of gift giving, you were tucked into the blanket given to you by El and you turned to look at Max. You nodded at her and Max got up, rushing to your room.

“Where is she going?” Steve asked and you turned to face him.

“I have one other gift for you. And a gift for all the girls and the guys.” Steve studied you, noticing how nervous you looked.

“You okay?” Steve mouthed and you nodded, gently taking his hand in your own. Max came back a minute later, giving one box to Eddie, one to Nancy, and one to Steve.

“Make sure everyone can see,” you said as everyone gathered together. “Go ahead.” Everyone opened their gifts, Steve opening his rather quickly and freezing when he pulled away the tissue paper.

“Dingus? You okay-“ Robin paused as Nancy gasped. In Steve’s box, was a positive pregnancy test and a soft yellow onesie with a sonogram in the middle of the box. In the boys’ box, a red, black, and gray tie dyed onesie with ‘Uncles favorite dungeon master’ on the front. In the girls’ box, a pink onesie with ‘I have the best aunts ever’ on the front.

Everyone looked at Steve, waiting to see his reaction with bated breath. You felt more and more anxious the longer Steve went without talking, until you saw the tear slide down his cheek.

“We’re having a baby?” Steve whispered and you nodded. A beat of silence passed before he hugged you tight, and the room erupted with cheers and congratulations. Your shirt grew wet with tears, and you combed through his hair. You smiled when Steve’s gaze met yours, and you felt relieved when Steve smiled back at you.

“Wait, how come Max got to know first?” Robin whined and everyone laughed as Max stuck her tongue out at Robin.

“We were shopping a few weeks ago when I started feeling sick and the dots connected from there. I took, like, three tests and they were all positive. I freaked out and she helped me out.” You were properly panicking in the bathroom the day you found out you were pregnant, and Max had calmed you down.

“Steve’s, like, disgustingly in love with you. And he’s already such a dad, he’ll be so happy when he finds out you’re starting your own family.”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Yeah, okay.”

“And you’re pretty good too. That baby would be lucky to have you as a mom,” Max’s gaze traveled to the floor and you smiled, hugging the teen close.

“And it’ll have the best aunts and uncles ever. Especially in my favorite teen,” you said and Max hugged you tighter.

“I think Harrington’s broken,” Eddie said and you turned to look at Steve, who admittedly did look like he was rebooting.

“Stevie,” you said and Steve’s eyes flickered up to meet yours. “Let’s go to the kitchen for a second.” You stood up and Steve followed. “Why don’t you pick out some movies?” You asked as you turned to the teens. “Get the living room nice and comfy for movie night? The extra blankets are in the hall closet.” Robin nodded, taking Nancy with her to gather supplies and you walked with Steve to the kitchen. “You’re kind of scaring me a little,” you said and Steve ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m a little scared,” Steve admitted. “I mean, you know how our parents were. I’m terrified I’m going to mess up. I’m terrified I’m going to screw up this kid.”

“I am too,” you said. You brought your hand to Steve’s face, gently tilting his chin so he looked at you. “Max literally had to talk me down from a meltdown. She seems to have more faith in us than we do.” You chuckled as you moved forward, burying your face in Steve’s chest. Steve wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head.

“We’re going to be parents.”

“We’re going to be parents,” you echoed and looked up at Steve. His brown eyes were flooded with emotions, concern being one of them, but hope being another one. Love being the main one you saw and you leaned up. Soft lips met your own, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers brushing against soft locks of hair.

“We should probably go check on the rest of them, they’re being too calm.” Steve said as he broke the kiss and you sighed dramatically.

“One of the girls would’ve snitched by now,” you said and Steve huffed out a laugh as he followed you back to the living room.

-

Steve looked around the living room, now late in the night. The teens were all asleep by this point. Eddie sprawled out in a chair, Nancy and Robin on the loveseat. You were curled into Steve’s side as you sat on the couch. The overhead lights were off, the living room only lit by the Christmas tree lights and the glow of the television that was ignored as everyone talked.

“Do you know how far along you are?” Nancy asked and you nodded.

“Eight weeks. By August, we’ll have our little one,” you said. August, holy shit. “Do not expect my heavily pregnant ass anywhere outside once June hits. Will not be getting all hot and sweaty, thank you.”

“This is so exciting. Coming up with baby names, decorating the nursery,” Robin said.

“Have any mother’s intuition on what it is?” Eddie asked. You paused for a minute, thinking but shook your head. “What about you, Harrington? Any guesses?”

“I’m feeling girl,” Steve said and you hummed in response.

“Considering right now it’s the size of a raspberry, we have a while to figure out what it’ll be.” You teased. “Whatever the little nugget is, it’s the luckiest baby ever with so many aunts and uncles.”

“So many babysitters,” Steve said and you laughed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever even held a baby,” Eddie said and you found yourself giggling.

“Me either, honestly. I’ll be a pro in the teenage years though after dealing with these hellions so long.” Robin snorted and you looked around.

You had the happiest smile on your face and Steve felt lighter than he had in ages. All of his worries just, melted away as he watched you and his friends interact. He never imagined he would have a life like this. Surrounded by friends who loved him just as hard as he loved them. A family he had made of his own, and now you, giving him a new addition to the family. He never imagined he would get the chance to have the life he always dreamed of, and he was determined to never let it go.

-

It was early the next morning, you and Steve cooking breakfast while everyone else continued to sleep. A pot of coffee brewed and you knew it wouldn’t be long before the smell roused Robin.

“It’s so pretty in there with the lights up. Feels more homey. We should leave them up for a few more days.” You said and Steve wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. You fed him a piece of bacon, and Steve relished in the way your nose scrunched up when he kissed your cheek.

“It’s our house. We can do whatever we want. We make the rules,” Steve said and you smiled up at him. “Just got the table set up. Saved you a seat.”

“Next to Robin?” You teased, giggling when Steve pouted at you. You both looked over when you heard the sounds of shuffling, greeted by Robin’s half awake body taking a seat at the table. “Speak of the devil.” You and Steve swapped places, him finishing up breakfast and starting to plate everything while you made Robin a cup of coffee. You slid the mug over to her, Robin humming her thanks as she took a sip.

“Wanna wake the rest of the heathens up?” Steve asked as he started to carry plates to the table, and you nodded. You ruffled Robin’s hair as you walked past her.

“You two are so domestic, it’s disgusting.” Robin said and Steve shot her an unamused look.

“Remind me how you and Nancy were sleeping last night?” Steve smirked as Robin blushed, quieting when the others walked in.

Everyone situated themselves at the large dining table and the kitchen bar, tired ‘thanks’ being given to you and Steve. You settled into your spot beside Steve, Dustin sitting on Steve’s other side while Max sat on your other side. Dustin pouted from his spot and you looked over at the curly haired teen. “What’s up, Dustin?”

“Max said I could sit by you!” Dustin whined and Max laid her head on your shoulder, and you didn’t have to look at her to imagine the smug smile on her face.

“You should’ve known, dude,” Steve said and Dustin glared at him.

“Children, children, calm down.” You tried to hide the amusement in your voice but based on the shit eating grin Eddie gave you, it wasn’t working. “Remember how we’re going to watch fireworks for New Year’s? Dustin, you and Max can sit beside me during the fireworks. And I’ll pick you up first.”

“Deal.” Dustin said triumphantly before he started to make his plate.

“When did you become his favorite?” Steve pouted and you laughed, making your own plate. You and Steve definitely had an interesting friend group, but you wouldn’t trade your family for the world.

And one warm night in late July, your family had a new addition. A daughter by the name Amelia Maxine Harrington. And it would be your little secret that it was Steve’s idea to include Max’s name as a part of your daughter’s. You may not have had the most loving home growing up, but you swore to Amelia that she’d know nothing but love and care as long as you and Steve were around. And with the help of her several aunts and uncles, you knew she’d be okay.

[a-random-weeb]

Mha general relationship headcannons

idk, I don't normally write for MHA, but I wanna start, so here are some headcannons for the men

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִָ 𓂃⊹✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִָ 𓂃⊹✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

Todoroki:

•I just know his left side is incredibly warm and cozy to cuddle into

•But his right side is awesome in the summer

•Hes so awkward to date 😭

•He doesn't know how to act most of the time, and probably does and says a lot of dumb stuff

•He has a cute blushing face after though

•He takes you on mall/restaurant dates a lot and maxes out Endeavors credit card

•Hes constantly giving you gifts

•I just know he loves arts and crafts, he probably buys a lot of them and you guys do them in the living room

•I swear to god this man still believes in Santa and shit like that, it's probably just best to play along at that point 😭💀

•I feel like he's really, really similar to Akutagawa to date, they're most awkward emo cinnamon rolls

°•｡♡˚ ༘`+.′°•｡♡˚ ༘`+.′°•｡♡˚ ༘`+.′°•｡♡˚ ༘`+.′°•｡♡˚ ༘

Bakugou:

•He won't even let you hold his hand at first, and will get really mad when you try

•Is this because he dislikes you? No, he loves you, he's just so insecure about his sweaty hands

•Eventually, when you find out about this and comfort him, saying it's fine and you don't care, he's constantly touching you

•Holding hands, hugging you, holding you by your waist, ect.

•He absolutely loves bathing together (When you're adults ofc)

•Cuddles with Bakugou>>>

•He loves to hold you on top of him with your face in his chest/neck

•Bakugou is the epitome of jealous

•He gets jealous over everyone

•If you ever even look at broccoli boy Deku, he will be furious

•If you're cold or some shit, he's the type to give you his jacket, not in the cute kind of way, in the "PUT THIS ON AND KEEP IT ON OR I BLOW YOUR FACE OFF" kind of way

‧*•˚ ❀ °☆ ˚+.‧*•˚ ❀ °☆ ˚+.‧*•˚ ❀ °☆ ˚+.‧‧*•˚ ❀

Idk what else to write, it's kind of hard to write for other characters. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I'm currently experiencing slight writer's block, as well as uni is hectic so...

[maraudersoncrack1981]

James, being an only child, grew up with his parents teaching him that all things such as Santa, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, etc were real to the point where nobody could change his mind. Peter having grown up with James was the exact same. Now Sirius on the other hand, was told that things like Santa were all nonsense and that things like that were just make-believe. and Remus just was one of those people who never really did believe in those types of things. So on their first Christmas at Hogwarts, James and Peter were doing all the Christmas traditions, things like making cookies to put under the Gryffindor common room fireplace and hanging up everyone's stockings on their respective dorm room doors. Sirius is really confused because wasn't everyone taught growing up told time and time again that Christmas is but a silly children's tale? He goes to Remus about this and asks why they are decorating and acting so happy at this, and Remus explains that they still believe in Santa, Remus then has to explain to a very confused Sirius what Christmas was all about as Sirius had grown up not celebrating it and thinking it was a silly thing muggles created to just simply lie to their children. That night a heartbroken Sirius cries because he has never got to celebrate such a lovely holiday before. The Marauders decide that they are going to have the best Christmas ever so Sirius's first Christmas will be one to remember. They open presents, they ran around the halls with charmed Christmas cards that sing Christmas songs over and over (until Mcgonagal confiscates them of course), The four of them eat till they can't eat anymore, and then to top it all off, they drink hot chocolate in there dorm room until they all fall asleep in the blanket fort they made in the middle of the room, all of them but Sirius, who sits at the window with a smile on his face, looking up at the stars reflecting on his very first Christmas, on all the gifts he got. On the other side of the country, on a little street in London Islington, in one of the many houses on that street, in a room on the fourth floor, sat Regulus Black looking out his window with tears in his eyes as distant yelling came from downstairs. Regulus had just went through his first ever Christmas without Sirius

[siphoklansan]

Introducing…. 𓆝 ⋆.𖦹°‧

꧁𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐡𝗼𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐢��

สุชลที ทิพย์ชลาลัย

“He claims that his father is a king.”

Height : 167 cm.

Birthday : 15th of November (Loy Kratong)

Age : 18

Homeland : East of Scalding Sands (Attidaya)

Best Subject : Practical Magic

Club : Equestrian club

Talents : Horseback riding, swimming.

Hobby : Taking care of his pet *jet dragon horse (Nhil - ม้านิลมังกร)

Dislikes : Nagas, sea snakes

Favorite Food : Tom Yum Khung (ต้มยำกุ้ง)

Least Favorite Food : Traditional medicine, bitter herbs.

꧁𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜꧂

- 𝐕𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐥 𝗼𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚: the ability to summon an extinct, magic creature of the sea: the Jet Dragon Horse. Suchol can command the horse at will whether to attack or to use it as a means of transportation, both on land and sea.

- Suchol can breathe underwater.

꧁𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐡𝗼𝐥꧂

- Suchol’s first name “Sucholatee” means beautiful sea and his last name “Thipchalalai” means the angel’s ocean✨

- Suchol is based off of another famous literature piece (famous as in it has been in plays for countless of times- like Romeo and Juliet💀) called Phra Apai Manee (พระอภัยมณี) and he’s based on a character named Sudsakorn! The story is a bout Sudsakon, a half mer half human boy, goes on a journey to find his father.

- Spoiler alert: tbh his father is lowley a piece of shit based on what I remember😭 He has a lot of wives (at that time having many wives is a power status, and he’s a king) and he fell in love with a mermaid who is Sudsakorn’s mother. THEN HE LEAVES SO THAT’S WHY SUDSAKORN GREW UP TO LOOK FOR HIM. The dad’s also the protagonist of the story (his name is on the title) but I’m purely writing this out of memory because so many things happened in the story and I have to go reread it again. The dad left for some “duties” but got a new wife along the journey like bruh🗿

- Back to Suchol though, his horse Nhil (or should I say his unique magic👀) is based off of the horse dragon in the literature piece! The horse dragon is a wild animal, and its strength even rivals yakshas. But Sudsakorn decided that no☝️you are my friend and I will treat you like you’re some stray cat on the street☝️ and that’s how Sudsakorn got his mount HSJDJUJSUJDU

- To elaborate further on his Unique magic, it’s kind of like Kalim’s magic carpet. The magic carpet is a replica of the original one, and Suchol’s horse dragon ability is a replica of the extinct animal🫶✨

꧁𝐀𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐡𝗼𝐥꧂

- Sucholatee Thipchalalai or Suchol for short, is an aspiring and dutiful young half-mer of Royal sword Academy- sorry that was a lie, he’s actually a trouble maker. Don’t let his pretty face fool you!

- Oh, he’d stir up trouble and pranks everywhere. Like dude, how’d you get here in this academy of all places?? You sure you’re not from NRC? You didn’t snuck in here did you?

- Aside from his infamous tricks and such at the academy, he’s quite a sweetheart to his family; his single mother who is a mermaid, and his surrogate father who is an old man next door.

- Growing up on an island with fairytales and stories being told to him constantly, he grew up to believe it is all true. That is to say, he’s the type to believe that Santa Claus is real (and he still does please don’t break the news to him🙏)

- Suchol was a young prodigy due to the mysterious ways his surrogate father taught him magic. It ranges from animal linguistics to ancient magic! That said, he doesn’t find a need to study and still gets good grades. Lucky bastard🙄 /lh

- The general rule of hanging out with Suchol is to NEVER mention Charin. Ever. Not because he hates the yaksha, it’s more like Suchol sees him as his idol. Charin was the older brother Suchol never had. The red eye shadow he wears is proof that he wants to grow up to be just like Charin!

- Suchol is the type of guy who says the most mind boggling, crazy, unbelievable thing ever but it turns out to be true.

- “My dad is a king from a far away land!” Yeah sure buddy 🤥 (it’s actually true)

- But hey, being a bad boy and a trickster aside, having a friend like Suchol is like a breath of fresh air. He’ll drag you to fun fairs and games, making sure you having the time of your life is his priority.

- One of his best qualities (maybe the only one /j im kidding) is honesty. Suchol finds it difficult to lie. While he wouldn’t be blunt about it (*cough* Mathura *cough*), he still makes sure to be honest without hurting anyone’s feelings.

- So what do you say? You don’t wanna miss out on one of the best rides of your life, right? Suchol can’t wait to show off his new friend his legendary horse!

*jet in this case refers to the gemstone

*picture of the dragon horse since I’m too lazy to draw it (the horse has shining black scales that looks like the jet gemstone)

“PS. Invite Charin if you can!” <- his words not mine.

[jewish-elphaba]

Are Santa's elves being abused?

@cuntvonkrolock and I got into a friendly argument over whether or not Santa was an abusive boss.

Victor's argument was that the elves could not possibly make enough gifts a year, as there are 8 billion people on the planet, and even if he was using Christmas Magic, that would be use of performance enhancing drugs, and therefore still not ok.

My argument was that it entirely depends on how many elves Santa actually has.

Well, I'm autistic, and have taken math through calculus, so I decided to crunch the numbers.

Victor googled it, and apparently Santa has around 110,000 elves. The linked article also states that calculations have been done surrounding this problem, but the calculations are quite flawed in that they are missing some very large numbers.

We decided that around age 15 was when you started receiving gifts not from Santa, but from your guardians, so that is the number we are using.

A quick google search says that there are about 2 billion kids 14 and under on the planet. Now, not all of those kids celebrate Christmas.

According to reindeerland.org, only about 32% of people actually celebrate Christmas. That means that the number of children receiving gifts is now whittled down to 32% of 2 billion: 640 million.

But some kids don't believe in Santa at all, and just get their gifts from loved ones. Google says that about 83% of kids are taught to believe in Santa, so we can shave off 27%. That leaves us with 531,200,000 kids.

But, that doesn't take into account the Naughty List.

You can find Santa's official Naughty and Nice List on the official website for the Department of Christmas Affairs. My autism knows no bounds, so in order to get a full count of how many kids are on the Naughty List, I scrolled through the entire List, ensuring that every name had loaded, and did a search command for how many times the word 'Naughty' was mentioned. I also found some very interesting names along the way.

Exactly 31,700 names are on the List, with each name only occurring once. Exactly 15,350 of these names were on the Naughty List. The word Naughty no longer looks like a word.

Since each name was only listed once, it is obvious that this is a general approximation for the amount of children on the Naughty List. The approximation being, 48.4227129% of children are on the Naughty List. I am never typing the word Naughty again.

Now, we know that 48.4227129% of 531,200,000 is 257,221,450.925 and that 531,200,000 - 257,221,450.925 = 273,978,549.075. Therefore, that is the number of kids receiving gifts from Santa.

Time to bring back my first number, 110,000 elves. 273,978,549.075/110,000 = 2,490.7140825, which gives us about how many gifts an elf makes a year. You should work around 260 days in a year to have a healthy life, so we can divide that by 260.

2,490.7140825/260 = 9.57966954808, which we can round up to 10.

Therefore, in a day, an elf must make around ten gifts.

[engeorged]

Aster's Maze

Follow up to Obi's Place, Santa’s Otto and The Sugarman’s House

Art by @badoobers

Words by @engeorged

I know it’s been over a year since I posted, but it’s been quite a journey for me. One I’m not even sure if I’m ready to talk about. The encounter with Obi changed me somehow and I’m not the same person I was. I can’t quite seem to settle anywhere for very long any more. I feel restless, and to be blunt, like I’m not quite fully present wherever I am.  My mind is always in a different place?

Let me go right back. By now, you’ve probably read about my encounter at Obi’s place. I’m not gonna lie, I was a wreck for a few days. It was like a hangover meets a sausage casing? The amount of food he’d packed in me took days to digest. I was swollen for 72 hours, not really able to do anything but sleep and go to the toilet. (I’ll spare you the details although I’m aware a few of you out there will want them you dirty bastards!!) I didn’t check my messages the whole time but after my last post, a lot of you had reached out to me. Turns out there’s quite a few of these guys around and they don’t fuck about! The pictures you all sent me were quite eye opening! (That's maybe for another post!)

The whole thing felt like a dream, but on reflection I realised it was a pretty good dream. I hate to admit it, but being able to eat that much food was quite a turn on. I tried for months to find him again and ask what he did to me. I’ve not been able to repeat it by myself, and trust me, I’ve tried. I can’t really even eat half of what he put into me. Every few weeks I would sit down in a restaurant or a buffet place and just block the afternoon out and eat as much as I could to see what would happen. Now I’m a big guy (and getting bigger!) and I could probably out eat most people if it came down to it but there’s just no way I can get as full as I did that morning. My belly is definitely increasing in size and capacity but still, without whatever magic he was using I can’t do it again. 

To cut a long story short, I ended up travelling. The few stories you sent me (that weren’t totally nuts) were fascinating, but from all over the world. I’ve been searching for trolls in Norway, piscies in the UK, dragons in china, tikoloshes in Africa. Nothing! Not a single bite. I was starting to believe that maybe it was a hallucination from being so over tired. Maybe the stripes on the road had hypnotised me as I drove or something. 

I’m currently living in Greece for a bit. I’ve pretty much run out and so I found a casual labour job on a building site in Greece. It’s a bit of a shit show to be honest,  but all I have to do is turn up and lay bricks for a few hours in the afternoon and I get paid! The extra bit of timber I’d put on means I break a sweat the second I get up, as even though it’s early autumn, here it’s still 24 degrees by midday! 

It was coming up to lunch time on the site when I started feeling a bit faint. I realised I’d not had anything to drink for a few hours and I was super dehydrated. I grabbed my water bottle and when lifted to my lips, only a few drips came out, so I had a scan of the area and saw a guy with a cart selling gyros and beers. Usually the street food was pretty good around here so I headed over, still wearing my tight high viz vest. As I got close to the stand I started to realise how hot the guy was selling them, now I’m newly ‘out’ and so I don’t still fully know what my type is but I can tell you reader, this guy was everyone’s type. He was stacked, his arms were like ripe watermelons and as I got close I realised how huge he was. I’ve told you I’m 6’5, but this guy towered over me. He must have been 7 feet easily. His hair was everywhere and he had this crazy medallion around his neck with a symbol on it I recognised from somewhere. 

Now, I know my story has ended up on some niche websites and blogs, so I know what you pervs are all waiting for. So here it is. His gut was potentially the hottest thing I have ever seen. It was huge. He was so tall it was practically oval. Firm and round and pushing against the buttons in his shirt. It was like he wasn’t even tempted to hide it. In fact, as I approached, he lifted his arms above his head to stretch which meant that there was a good three or four inches of furry dome poking out from underneath. He looked as stuffed as I was at Obi’s. As I got nearer I started to regret my decision to go over. I must have looked like an absolute state. I was wearing my battered work jeans and fluorescent jacket, covered in brick dust and sweat and I absolutely stank. A 280 lbs slab of man like me working in 30 degree heat is a recipe for funk, and I was dripping with it. He looked up and saw me so there was no going back, I committed and walked up trying to look cool. Something about him made me want to melt into a puddle. I said ‘Yasass’ in my best Greek accent and he replied with a bass filled ‘Hello, how can I help you’ in perfect English. His accent was vaguely British with a hint of Greek overlayed. The rumble of his voice made something shift inside me. I think I was in love. 

I ordered two beers and paid him. Lifting it to my lips, thirst took over and downed one on the spot. I didn’t really want to leave, I wanted to try and get his number or something. I downed the second beer and I could see it must have impressed him as he leant forward in his cart and offered me another. I ordered two and offered him one which he took. We stood chatting about the weather and what I was up to and as we chatted he started putting together a huge gyro full of amazing smelling meat. There was a hint of salad at the bottom but the thing was packed as tight as his shirt. He wrapped it up with his strong hands and offered it to me. I took it immediately and took a big bite, within minutes the thing had gone. It was the best tasting thing I’d ever had. When I finished I realised he’d just been watching me eat it, not saying anything. His dark eyes focussed on me making me feel very seen. He had very keen eyes that looked deep into my soul. (I know how pretentious that sounds, don't worry, but you’ll see I’m right in a minute!)

I jokingly said I could eat another one and before I’d finished my sentence he had one there in his large paw! I won’t bore you with the details because there will be a lot more later but suffice to say I ate 3 of his huge gyros. I was substantially full, my own belly was beginning to push out against my work clothes and I’m pretty sure I lost a button  I offered to pay but he wouldn’t take it. He just said he’d see me again. I went back to work on the site very full and very horny!

I stopped by for lunch every day for the next week and a half. In the evenings I discovered he owned a small but very cool restaurant bar selling the same food but with the addition of a whole selection of spirits and cocktails. It was a full two weeks before I plucked up the courage to ask him out. There was just something about him that drew me in. Reflecting back I don’t know if we actually spoke about much. Even now I know very little about him. All I remember is his huge belly, round and tight, every day staring at me. Perfection in a fursuit. I remember that he had a few piercings. The medallion round his neck had chains coming off it connecting to nipple piercings. He also had a heavy gold nose ring, which, if I wasn’t thinking with my dick, might have been a bit of a clue. I was looking out for whatever Obi was, not whatever he was. And is, I guess? 

On reflection, and with what I know now, he was strategically increasing my already substantial belly capacity for the game. (More on that later) Every meal, he would give me a little bit more food. A bag of stuffed vine leaves here, some baklava there, extra meat in the wrap, a special sauce, larger wraps. Before I knew it I was eating 6 of his gyros twice a day with whatever accompaniments he palmed off on me that day. Every evening I would spend bloated and swollen, nursing my aching stomach whilst thinking of Aster. (Oh I forgot, one thing I did get out of him was his name) I guess I should add that I didn’t twig what was happening in case that’s not obvious. I was bewitched by everything about him to the point where I didn’t realise he was testing me out for something much bigger. 

A few weeks in I had a penny drop moment, I’d just finished my 6th evening gyro and he was making me one more to finish me off. My belly was huge, packed with the supply of food he’d been encouraging me to eat. I was wearing a now painted-on shirt and I was standing in the street at 5pm obediently stuffing myself silly with his street food. I’d gone past full a few gyros ago and it was now simply pushing and stretching my stomach more and more. The feeling of the stretch (as some of you probably know) is exquisite. I’d experienced it fully with Obi and I’d been chasing that feeling all over the world to get to that place of total engorged capacity and it dawned on me suddenly I was there again. Something about that day made me realise I'd met another one of these creatures. Aster wasn’t human. 

I swallowed down my last bite and took the next one from his massive hairy hand. I looked at him properly for maybe the first time. Looking past my own lust and attraction and I saw that he wasn’t quite ‘right’. His hair was shaped in such a way that hair didn’t really grow. His side burns were much more than a side beard and that ring in his nose was huge because his nose was so large and flat. And his belly! No human belly would ever be that size and rounded shape when it was that big. It would be sagging down over his belt, not sitting proudly on top of it defying gravity. I started eating the food he’d made me and asked him outright. ‘Who are you?’ He looked me in the eye and said with a slightly crooked grin ‘Obi said you could eat.’ 

I stood back aghast. He was one of them. I had so many questions. But before I could ask any of them he started packing up his cart. I found myself rooted to the spot while he packed away. I literally couldn’t move. As he grabbed the handles he turned to me and put his large hand on top of my distended stomach and winked. And that’s when I saw it. The little purple twinkle in his eye. With that, he was gone and I was finally able to move. The fullness I was not noticing yet hit me and I nearly sat down on the pavement where I stood but I managed to pull myself together and make it back to the site where I did very little work. He’d fed me as much as Obi had done but without me noticing. And I let him! 

I could hardly wait for opening time at the restaurant that evening.  Still full from lunch,  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to ask him out or just demand some answers. When I saw him behind the bar, cleaning a glass with a tea towel I knew what I wanted. I marched right up to the counter but before I had a chance to speak he pulled out a single purple rose which he handed me. As I looked at him in the low light, I realised all his confidence had fallen away and he was genuinely a little nervous. Turns out he’d fallen for me too. He ended up asking me on a date. Who knew a 7 foot tall Minotaur would be such a hopeless romantic. (Yeah I just dropped that in. I didn’t know how else to say it really! It is what it is?) He told me that he finished around midnight but that he had somewhere he wanted to take me and would that be alright. I agreed, obviously! And parked myself on a table by the window to wait for him. 

Even though the restaurant was pretty busy, he found time to be quite attentive. Every hour he brought me another rose and a plate of something to eat. By the time it was midnight I had a vase full of flowers and a belly full of Greek food! Bear in mind I was stuffed from lunch and I arrived at the restaurant at 6. So do the math to work out how full I currently am. That’s important for the rest of the story! As the final customers left I watched as he whipped round the place lifting the chairs and sweeping up as fast as he could. It was kind of cute to see how keen he was. When it was all done he explained to me that he wanted to take me somewhere that was special to him, somewhere he thought I would enjoy. He looked a little sheepish but I agreed. We walked through town (slowly I might add, I was basically round at this point) as he held my hand. Not many people can make me feel small but walking around holding this giant's hand was quite humbling. At this point I think my belly was bigger than his but he was still over half a foot taller than me. Being near him calmed my stomach too. It was like I was just pleasantly full when I was near him, not dangerously packed to bursting. We chatted a little bit but we mainly walked in silence, happy in each other's company.

We arrived at a sort of park on the edge of town. There were a few ruins we walked past but we ended up at the edge of what looked like a small cave. In any other setting I would have run a mile but he has been so tender with me I just felt super safe. In the moonlight, at the edge of the cave we stood looking into each other's eyes. He slowly leant in to kiss me and I let him. As he leant back I felt myself rooted to the spot again unable to move. He started walking backwards into the cave and as the dark consumed him he winked again and beckoned me to follow him. After a minute the effects of whatever it was wore off and I was able to slowly walk into the cave. After a few steps I discovered that  it was lit all along by torches and it started to become more of a corridor. There was no sign of Aster but I carried on into the maze. As I walked I felt a little rumble in my stomach. I brushed it off as just digestion starting and kept going. After a few turns it saw a few petals in the ground. The massive softie had left me a trail to follow. 

Eventually, I came across a small recess in the wall with a little table set into it and a candle. I sat down on one of the chairs and Aster emerged from out of the darkness with two heavy cloched plates. He sat down and put the plates in front of us. He pulled the cloches off to reveal a sizeable plate of oysters. I smiled and he smiled back. I found myself inexplicably hungry and went to take my first one, but he leant over and stopped me. He picked up a large oyster and lifted it to my lips. I smiled and opened my mouth and titled my head back. If I’m totally honest I’ve never eaten oysters before but I’d seen it in films. I knew I was supposed to swallow them whole so fortunately I didn’t make a tit of myself. I don’t know if you’ve had them before but I’m not gonna lie, they taste good but they are like swallowing snot! Being fed them was hot though! Knowing I had the full attention of this slab of man was really doing it for me! He fed me a few and then sat back and I did the same for him! Watching his heavy Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed was a surprising new kink I discovered in that cave! 

Suffice to say, it was like time worked differently in that cave. We’d only been there a few minutes and there were a fair few oysters on each of our plates. Maybe 3 dozen each? They didn’t really take long to eat but it felt like we were there for hours. I wasn’t counting the oysters but by the time we’d cleared the plates, my belly had advanced quite a way. Like way more than a few dozen oysters would have done. It was still tight and round but it was a lot bigger and heavier. It appeared that my tank top had ripped at the edges and so I just took it off. Even though we were underground it wasn’t cold so I was happy in just my jeans. 

I looked at Aster and he had the biggest grin on his face. His own belly was beginning to blow out from our oyster binge. I could see even more of his substantial furry belly pushing out from his shirt. I wasn’t sure if he looked taller at that point? Everything about him was larger in some way and he was meatier and hairier too. (Yes every part of him was bigger. I won’t say more than that!) He was absentmindedly rubbing the underneath of his belly curve as he watched me readjust to my new bloated mass. His eyes were both kind and predatory at the same time. We stood there for a little while admiring one another until he winked and shimmered like Obi used to. With that he was gone and the chase was back on. I lumbered on further into the maze of tunnels, my swollen midsection slowing me down considerably. The path twisted and turned as I was led deeper in. 

I couldn’t tell you how long it was until I found him. At first, I began to hear running water and so, for want of any other clues, I followed the noise. The walls of the maze were beginning to look less constructed by human hands and more cave-like, I guess? Stone bricks giving way to actual stone. I even thought I saw a few flashes of gemstones here and there but I was more interested in my next meal. Even though I must have eaten a week's worth of food so far, I was still inexplicably hungry. I don’t know if I can describe how it felt. My insides felt packed full. Like totally solid. There was very little give to my belly. And yet I knew I wanted more. Actually I needed more. The stretched feeling I have when I’m around these guys is something I’ve never experienced before. 

Eventually, the water got louder and louder until I walked through a stone archway and found myself in a cavernous expanse. The sound of water turned out to be an underground waterfall, the water cascading down into a piercing blue lagoon. The ceiling was lit with some sort of glowing insects which were making a melodic rhythmic chirping sound. I searched around the expanse until I found him. He was sitting with his legs in the water next to a fire where he seemed to be grilling fish. It was the first time I’d seen his legs and they were indeed as you would imagine them to be. Covered in thick black hair. I couldn’t see his feet as they were in the water but I am guessing he didn’t have five toes at this point. It seemed that he was becoming more of his true self the closer we got to the centre. I made my way round and joined him sitting by the water. It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been. We sat there for a few moments in silence. Enjoying the beauty. I realised after a while that he was holding my hand.  He turned his attention to the fire and pulled out a perfectly grilled fish which he placed next to himself and he began to break off pieces of the succulent meat and began feeding it to me. The fish melted in my mouth. It was so succulent and tender. I ate the whole thing quickly and he brought a second fish over and put his hands back on the floor as a signal for me to feed him. I obliged, tenderly placing it into his mouth. We did this for a while until all the fish he was cooking had gone. He leant forward and I thought he was going to kiss me again but instead he plunged his hand into the water and pulled out more fish. I’m no expert but I know one of them was a Salmon, and a pretty big one at that. And I think there was a rainbow trout and something else sort of blue? We carried on eating and cooking and eating and cooking for hours. The time weirdness means I have no idea how long we were there or how many I ate at this point, but looking at the both of us we were both much bigger. I don’t know if it’s part of the atmosphere or I genuinely ate that much but there it was.  My own belly was enormous. Way bigger than I had been in the diner. His gut was spectacular. Round and hairy and now totally free from his shirt. Bear in mind he was nearly 8 feet at this point.

He reached over and tenderly began to massage my own swollen stomach. His hands, surprisingly gentle, but firm. I closed my eyes and relaxed and basically let him do what he wanted to me. All of my senses seemed to be heightened, every little touch was like a wave of ecstasy flowing across my skin. His smell was heady, strong and potent and filling my nostrils. Eventually, I realised he’d gone but I stayed there for a little while longer. Partly because it was so beautiful but also partly because I could hardly move. 

I pulled myself to my feet, hauling my cantilevered belly up. It was still self supporting and jutting straight out from me into the air. I wished there was a mirror somewhere so I could have seen it properly. I saw an opening in the wall near the waterfall so I followed it through into a darker and more narrow part of the maze. The walls were closer than before and there were a few parts where I was worried I might not get through with my newly ballooned gut. After a while I started to smell the aromatic smell of cooking pork which made me instantly hungry again. I followed the smell and found three doors with a riddle written above it. I can’t remember the riddle but it was something about liars and guessing the way. You can probably guess that I’m not the smartest guy, I’m not dumb, but when it comes to stuff like riddles I’m out. My belly was rumbling loud at this point too so I was distracted. I decided to just listen at each of the doors. Door one I could hear a whistling noise which I reckoned was some sort of drop. Door two was a distinct growling snore. Although Aster was super stuffed I was pretty sure it wasn’t him asleep, and having met some of these guys I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a cute teddy bear behind there! I approached door three and had a listen. I could just about hear a sizzling sound and with the smell of pork I couldn’t handle it so I threw the door open. I wasn’t disappointed! 

The room was a small stone cell with a fire pit sunk in the bottom. On top of it was a decently sized pig on a spit. I couldn’t see Aster so I stepped in gingerly. The door closed behind me and as I turned it dissolved into the wall. There was no way out. I stepped into the room and looked into the shadows at the edges.  And there he was, taller than ever. As he stepped out into the light of the fire I could see he’d changed more. The first thing I noticed were the horns that had now sprouted from the top of his head. They weren’t massive but they were slightly curved and protruding from his thicker hair. The hair wasn’t just thicker on his head either. He’d now taken off his shirt and I could see the extent of it. He was pretty much covered in thick black hair all over his arms and sides. Virtually the only skin visible was across his bloated sphere of a belly. And that had a decent covering all along the bottom of the curve stretching up to a thick happy trail that snaked up to his hairy pierced pecs. The thick gold chain connects to his medallion. 

He spoke with a deep gravelly voice that I could literally feel in my feet. He told me under no circumstances was there to be any pork left before we left this place. Under any other situation I would have laughed. The pig had to be 200 lbs of meat. That would literally have taken any normal person a few weeks to eat. But here, with him, I knew right there that we would do it. I was apprehensive to think about how much my stomach would distend after that but I knew that whatever this place was it would be ok. I walked up to him and put my hands firmly on the sides of his thick belly and looked up. He looked down at me and bent his head to kiss me on the lips again. I smiled and sighed with contentment. Something special was about to happen. 

He pulled back and handed me a sharp knife, and took out one of his own and cut a slab of meat. The juices were rubbing down his arm. He pulled off the crackling and greedily began to eat it, crunching and swallowing it down. He offered me the meat and I eagerly opened my mouth to receive it. It tasted even better than it smelt and within minutes the whole slab had disappeared into me. We continued to feed one another the pork for a while, taking it in turns to slice off large chunks of flesh and sharing the delicious meat. We were soon covered in the stuff, our bellies continuing their rapid expansions. As we progressed, instead of slowing down we began to speed up. We even abandoned the knives and took to simply ripping off our next portions and guzzling down our haul. He fed me and I fed him and we ate ourselves. The boundaries of reality slipped away as we gorged on the meal together. (Yes I know that sounded a bit twatty but that’s how it felt. How many pigs have you shared with a fucking Minotaur?)

We didn’t take any breaks in our gluttony, the pig simply ended up inside both of us. I’d guess Aster ate more, simply because he is a good few feet taller than me but I didn’t notice him actually eating more. By the time the pig was reduced to bones we were both insanely swollen. My own gut was packed so big I couldn’t see anything else when I looked down. The skin tightly stretched over the vast quality of food it held inside itself. If I thought for a second about how much food I contained I’m not sure my brain could handle it. I looked like someone had slipped an air compressor up my arse and turned it on for a good half an hour. Physics had to be different in there because there was no way I’d have been able to stand up without some supernatural help. Looking at Aster, he was the same. Comically swollen, his huge abdomen surrounded by a sea of hair. The only difference between us is that you could still see some of his muscle definition.  The power and strength he contained was tangible when you looked at his animal-like frame. 

Covered in grease and bits of food we sat back admiring each other's new size. I wanna keep the story a touch modest, but he was clearly aroused by our efforts. I won’t go into details because I never kiss and tell, but fuck me he was a big boy! I’m glad there was magic in the site because after what we did next I could have ended up in hospital! 

After we had, erm, cuddled, we lay back with our heads next to one another. Our engorged stomachs stuck high into the air, solid and packed with food, unyielding in their size and volume. We stayed for a period of time and chatted about our lives. Aster clearly wasn’t wanting this to be a one off encounter. He was surprisingly affectionate and romantic for a half man half bull. He wanted to know all about me and my life and what my plans for the future were. It was such a tender moment I could have stayed there forever but Aster had one more plan up his sleeve. He pulled himself up easily and offered me a hand to help me up. I just about managed to get to my feet, helped by his superhuman strength I assume! Kissing me again he led me by the hand into the shadows where we found a new door. Fortunately, it was a double door as neither of us would have fit through anything smaller at this stage. We walked into a vast cavernous space. I didn’t think it was possible but it was even more beautiful than the underwater lagoon where we ate the fish. The glowing insects were back and this time other glowing creatures joined them. Small colourful lizards darted from rock to rock making patterns in the water that filled half the floor. Several smaller waterfalls fed this one, each framed by cascades of glowing plants with brightly shining flowers falling down.  Alongside the water was a long banqueting table covered with food. There were golden bowls and plates full of oversized fruits and bread. Huge slabs of roasted meats and wheels of cheese. At the end there appeared a large ornately decorated cornucopia which seemed to be the source of the food. Aster led me to the table and sat us both down in large oversized thrones. We’d made it to the centre of the labyrinth!

As we sat down, our swollen bellies resting on our legs I realised he had plans to carry on eating. Whatever magic was present meant I definitely felt hungry but there was no way I could physically move to get the food. I was practically pinned down underneath the sheer ridiculous size of my own belly. I was about to say this to Aster when I heard something move in the water. I looked across to see six men emerge from the water. I say men, we both know they weren’t that. If I had to guess I would say they were some sort of water nymphs? They had a pale bluey green tinge to their skin which had a faint shimmer to it as well. They were lithe and incredibly beautiful, their muscles and sinews visible underneath their skin. Their tight shorts left very little to the imagination and their eyes looked as hungry as I felt. They were here to feed us. 

I don’t know whether we were there for a few days or weeks or months. The food from the cornucopia kept coming and we kept eating. Non stop gorging, all enabled by the blue dudes. Their dexterous long fingers feeding us food and massaging our swelling bellies. We both ended up the size of trucks, our inhumanly swollen bellies stretching way past what was physically or morally possible. 

At some point we were done and we were pushed or rolled to the edge of the water. I slipped in and sank heavily to the bottom. Whether I was magically able to breathe underwater or whether I somehow didn’t need to breathe, I’m not sure, but Aster and I were able to move freely under the water. We swam for a while through caverns and caves, snaking away from the maze. When we surfaced we found ourselves on a small island just off the coast of the town. Away from the magical influence of the labyrinth, Aster was back to his more human form and his belly was vastly reduced but still clearly swollen. I was the same, my belly was huge, but it at least was obeying the laws of physics. Again, I don’t want to make the story any more r-rated than it needs to be so let’s say we spent some time with each other there. We needed some time to digest and recover as well. 

Friends, I don’t know whether what happened was a dream or some sort of vision, but I do know I’ve gained 50lbs in a few days. I have a very definite and prominent ball belly now, which I’m not unhappy about. I also have a new boyfriend. Unlike Obi, Aster was happy to stick around, so I do know that something happened. I don’t really want to ask too many questions from Aster because I don’t really mind if it was real or not. I know he’s here and I know we ate a shit ton of food and I know he’s not going anywhere

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