#but then he doesn’t truly act like he cares when one of their own dies

[squiddviscous]

Rereading the manga at the moment and there's two things that I've noticed about Maxwell (that do not make him less of a villain, just an even more tragic one).

First, not only does he seem to have been quite publicly losing the plot for so long that no one in their right mind could have seen fit to just hand him an army and a green light to do whatever the fuck he thought best without expecting something to go as it did, but also some of the early scenes with him discussing plans with Anderson and the Pope seem pretty much like the Vatican, if not exactly planned for him to attack England, weren’t too bothered if he did.

Which makes his very young appointment as Iscariot leader make a bit more sense. He’s shown as being bright, but by no means brilliant, and there are clearly others just as ruthless but a bit more level-headed than him who could have done the job (Makube is older than him). So my new headcanon is that he was probably groomed for the position from very early on, so that Iscariot could be lead by someone who was prepared to do something others wouldn’t (and that they couldn’t dirty their own hands by asking him to do), but was so isolated from anyone who cared about him, and from such ‘sinful’ origins that if and when he did do those things that they couldn’t directly order him to, they could easily wash their hands of him and come across blameless themselves.

Second, for being such a fanatic, he doesn’t actually seem particularly religious. This is me headcanoning again, but if he does actually believe in a God, then he hates him (like he hate everything else, himself and Anderson included). When he dies, he talks about having always been alone, which is at odds with the idea of God being with or loving him, that you’d expect to be something he feels if he truly does believe. So rather than being a genuine fanatic, it seems more like he’s just utterly, utterly misanthropic and disappointed in God (and thinks somehow he could do a better job).

I also get this impression from the way he acts earlier in the manga – gleefully pointing out the Vatican’s hypocrisy to Integra like some kind of teenage edgelord and having Heinkel kill that other bishop for defending them aiding Millenium. He really does just feel contempt for absolutely everything (self included).

Yknow. I think that Enrico Maxwell doesn't get enough attention in the hellsing Fandom, because he's one of the most fascinating tragedies in hellsing.

He's introduced as an arrogant prick with clear malice for Integra, but there's so much to that interaction that can be read into.

Because you have such minimal backstory that tells the whole story. As a child, Maxwell asks Anderson if he was no longer wanted because he was a bastard; Maxwell is a child of infidelity, and it's very clear that he was reminded of that consistently, during his formation years.

Mind you, he's around 10-12 when he's given up, which means he spent all of his formative years in an abusive home, implied to be neglectful and verbally abusive. He clearly blames himself for the abuse, considering how determined he is to "make his parents regret giving him up". This leaves room for so much interpretation, and it seems that he believed wholeheartedly that he was the problem, he wasn't enough, he wasn't good enough... as a child.

He's shown to have an almost immediate mood swing when meeting Integra. From an attempt to be amicable to immediate hostility when her reaction isn't mirroring his, so he goes to mirror the hostility that he personally sees. He is incredibly reactive as an adult, when as a child he was quite apathetic in most cases, or downright stubborn and resentful. Really think about his reactions to things, with such immediate mood changes, swinging wildly from amicable to cruelty right back to amicable; he's responding to what he sees.

There really is so much to analyze with him because there's so much substance within the little interactions he has. Because he's gone from an adult child to a childish adult and that is something that I'm so fascinated with because THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO HIM THAN IS GIVEN CREDIT FOR

[jewishbarbies]

the fact that gale supposedly loves katniss So Much yet when she has more trauma than he could fit in his pinky finger and it was HIS idea that got her sister killed, the person who was the only reason katniss was in the games to begin with, all he could do was stiffen up and pull some “gee i don’t know if that was my fault but it sure sucks” bullshit. gale is the example of “some people let war consume them until that’s all that’s left” in the narrative and you cannot convince me otherwise.

[dykedvonte]

Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.

I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.

This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.

The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.

It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…

The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.

[emtheanxiousdragon]

Thinking about Psychonauts 2 again, and you know what scene pops into my head a lot? It’s near the end of the game, when Raz runs back to the caravan to get his family’s support to take down Maligula. In a game about mental health and coping with loss and mistakes, this scene, while small, says volumes.

If you don’t remember, when Raz makes his way to the caravan while Nona is in the middle of her big water tornado, this is how he finds his family; gathered around Augustus, offering whatever support they can.

Look at how Augustus is sitting. The classic “face to your knees” pose naturally signals that he’s upset, but there’s something more to that. When you think of this pose, who do you think of?

Children. Children are more likely to sit like this as they process their big feelings because sitting on the floor doesn’t feel inappropriate. When you get older, you feel embarrassed expressing yourself the way you did as a child and you move onto other coping mechanisms, ones that are less visibly upset. But not Augustus, not in this moment. I first when I saw this, I wasn’t sure what was happening, until Donatella spoke.

Remember, Raz just finished sorting through Nona’s memories and unlocking the psychic barriers that kept Maligula trapped. We recently learned that Ford messed with both Nona and Augustus’ memories to make them believe Nona was truly Augustus’ mother, not his aunt. Both of Augustus’ parents died, and have been dead for decades. While Raz was undoing the mental blocks, he wasn’t just revealing the truth to Nona. He was unraveling the truth in Augustus’ mind too.

Imagine you’re with your family, looking for your mother. She’s old, she’s wandered off, she isn’t as sharp as she used to be. You need to find her and keep her safe, you almost lost your son a few days ago and you can’t lose your mother too. And then the memories start unlocking. Memories of two graves, of a packed orphanage, of a strange man warping your mind and delivering you into the care of a woman you knew deep down to be the arbiter of national genocide, who this man made you think was your mother. Of course you break down. Of course you act like a child, even in front of your own children. What else can you do?

When Augustus says this, the statement is twofold. The mother he thought survived has been dead all this time, and the woman who did raise him has warped back to the traumatized, angry shell that caused so much death in your past. He’s lost both women in this moment.

The series does an incredible job of connecting us with the trauma and baggage of whoever’s mind we enter. But we never enter Augustus’ mind. We only get to see his trauma through show not tell, and that leaves us with a more evocative scene than many of the mental worlds we’ve visited before.

The writers know how powerful this scene is, and they make sure we linger on it with this long zoom out. The entire family embraces Augustus and shares in his woe. They’ll need their strength to help Nona soon enough, but they have to grieve for a moment, they have to acknowledge the hurt and pain they’ve inherited if they hope to rebuild their family.

I love this game.

[lynnerdo]

* The heart is not meant to rule *

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader

Slow burn, knife kink, blood kink, strangers to lovers, softer!Feyd-Rautha, CONSENT, 18+, arranged marriage, assassination, poison, murder, etc

Chapter 1 - Introduction Chapter 2 - Beginnings are such delicate times Chapter 3 - Eclipse Chapter 4 - A Time of Quiet Between the Storms Chapter 5 - Harkonnen Arena Chapter 6 - Water of life Chapter 7 - Each man is a little war Chapter 8 - Spice

***

The lush and deep forests near the castle brings many memories to you. Soon your life might look completely different, should Feyd reconsider marriage. You hope he pulls through, in more ways than one. Walking in the crisp fresh air of the trees makes you realise your feelings might be developing in more than just infatuation. Your heart sank when you saw Feyd collapse last night. It felt heavy to breathe just thinking about what would have happened if he died. But not only that, you felt as if Feyd would be an interesting partner. His personality very different from the men who you had known all your life. He showed a different kind of devotion, almost obsession over you. You admit it made you quiver a little bit every time he stared you down, a biological reaction, you assured yourself.

You think it’s sinful to admit that when he had you cornered in the halls, hand pulling your hair, you also felt your body react to that. It was the first time a man didn’t tiptoe around you, someone who saw you on an equal line, someone who didn’t feel the need to behave otherwise because of your stature. You understand why your mother didn’t think a Bene Gesserit training would be something for you. You lacked the self-control and discipline, just now acknowledging how your body responded to violence like that. You continue walking in the forest, blushing heavily thinking about him. You can’t seem to snap out of the feeling of his breathe on your lips, his face so close, and then feeling the solid form of his body as you dragged him back. He truly is remarkable.

*

Feyd keeps inquiring the staff when you will be back, obsessively so. He doesn’t look desperate, but some of the people in the castle would describe him as a loyal dog waiting for their master to return. He had no patience whatsoever. He felt a lot fitter already, a burning sensation lingering in his muscles, but the medical staff reassured him he would be fine in a few days. He had heard everything that happened last night, how you grunted as you pulled his body all the way back to the castle, how you demanded them to save him, using any way possible, even if it meant breaking the law. You showed a devotion to him he wasn’t used to. Even his servants didn’t seem to care that much and were just acting out of fear. Whilst there was some fear in your voice last night, it wasn’t caused by him, it was a fear of losing him.

He went back to his quarters to get a much-needed bath and to sit in his own thoughts for now. He wasn’t allowed to let himself get so entrapped by her, it showed a certain weakness that Harkonnen didn’t take kindly to. He felt his worries wash off him as he entered the bathroom however, the same enchanting scent he smelled coming from the garden last night, now enveloping him. ‘Caladian rose’ it was called. And he noticed how it smelled like her. He recalled the way he trapped her between the wall and himself the day before, when he got a whiff of her perfume, how his hand smelled like her.

It drove him crazy; his hands went down into the water. He kept seeing your face as he softly stroked his full length. The scent of the bath adding to the feeling, it was like you were taking over his mind, all he could think of was you. He imagined how good you would look if you were in the bath here with him, your soft body writhing next to him, your hands on his chest, his face, his cock. His strokes were getting harder and faster at this point. He wanted nothing more but to taste you, lick your skin and claim your lips, to make you cry out his name, over and over. He came hard at the thought of you sitting on top of him, asking for more. He saw stars and realised you didn’t need to be trained like a Bene Gesserit, for you were already controlling his mind and body without it.

*

You eventually find the herb you were looking for and cut it with the blade Feyd gave you. It’s funny how a weapon made for killing was now being used for essentially gardening. You weren’t going to tell him that the first thing you used it on was a plant however, that’s just disrespectful.

As you make your way back to the castle, it’s already the late afternoon. It seemed like the search took longer than you wanted to, and you were needing a bath of your own. You felt sweaty, musky and assumed mentally drained after the events of last night. It would also help to calm down your muscles a little bit more. Feyd was a heavy man, and you were not used to dragging heavy men around. That was something Duncan hadn’t taught you yet.

You go to your quarters and let a bath run, you add some salts and Caladian rose essential oils. You hadn’t seen any staff members or servants in your walk back, but you also feared for any news coming from Feyd. You sort of assume he was strong enough to fight through the toxins, certainly with your blood going through him. But a small fear lingered. It would be better if you could see him tonight.

*

You eventually got out of the bath, to your own disappointment. A staff member had knocked on your door, telling you dinner would be starting soon. As you got out, you decide on wearing a pale purple dress, with cut-outs on your shoulders. It shaped around your body nicely and was extremely soft. As you moved towards the dining hall, it flowed behind you in the light of the setting sun.

As you entered the dining hall you stopped in your tracks. Feyd was standing near one of the bigger windows, looking outside towards the ocean. As he heard the door close behind you, he turned around. He was wearing something more casual as well, see through vest with a deep V-neck, showing off his perfectly shaped torso. It was tightened softly on his hip and a soft black pant underneath. His skin glistening in the direct sunlight it received. You made your way towards him, still in disbelief that he’s already up and running. His gaze softened once he saw you, whatever his thoughts were, they fell away.

“My Lady Atreides,” he purred as you got closer to him.

You smiled at him, for the first time it felt genuine as well. His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw, reminding himself to not listen to his instinct to kiss you right there and then. You reached over to touch him however, grazing his arm softly.

“How- When did you awaken?”, you stumble, softly rubbing your thumb against his arm.

He looked down at your hand and then back at you. You misinterpreted his meaning and let go of him. He countered by grabbing your hand back, softly playing with it. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, as you got hotter with every soft movement he did.

“I think I have my Lady to thank for that,” he said as he pulled your hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, never taking his eyes off yours.

He seemed like a proper gentleman just now, but you knew something was off. The glint in his eye and the way he smirked after reminding you that he was still Feyd. You didn’t seem to mind however, whatever he might be thinking about. You felt flattered and had to admit you loved it when he swooned over you like this. He was direct with his intentions; you knew where you stood with him.

As you two were standing there, the door opened once more. Your father and mother entered with an indescribable emotion set on their faces. By now, you assume word had spread already. You left out a soft ‘ugh’, and Feyd picked up on it. He let go of your hand and cupped your cheek softly. He brushed over your almost faded scar, as he licked him lips. How seductive, you thought. “Calm down darling, they won’t punish you if we get married,” he spoke.

There it was again, that word that caused all of this in the first place. He knew what he said, as he smiled a bit more venomous than he should have. You were stumbling to realise what he said about marriage, however. He saw your conflicting thoughts on your face and realised the words he spoke. A bit stifled at his lack of self-control, he let go of your cheek and made his way towards the table. He let his emotions slip a little too soon for his liking.

You’re staring out of the window, trying to process what had just transpired. As you turned around and sat down in front of him, you smiled a little bit, the inevitable dreaded conversation with your father could wait for now. You didn’t have the heart to look at Feyd’s face throughout dinner but shot a few glances to his body. He was remarkable, the epitome of a Greek god. You recall standing next to him and smelling Caladian rose on him. He could have taken a bath without any oils, but the fact that he didn’t, sent you into overdrive. This man was slowly taking over your every thought.

*

After dinner, your father proposes a toast in celebration of Feyd’s recovery, since not a lot of men have lived through meeting a white king cobra and living to tell the tale. You assumed Feyd would still be in a lot of pain on the inside, feeling a burning sensation every time he took a breath. You give the herbs to a staff member and ask her to prepare some tea. It’s the least you could do to help him feel more soothed.

As alcohol flows, you indulge in some of it as well. It soothes your inner thoughts and calms you down after the events that transpired. As the staff member returns, you muster up the courage to ask Feyd to follow you. You go out of the dining hall towards one of the balconies nearby. Feyd follows you promptly, wondering what you were going to say. You hand him over the tea, already cooled down a bit, and he takes the cup.

“What is this?” he questions you, smelling the cup and frowning at it. You chuckle at his reaction, “it’s just some tea, I went out to get fresh herbs, it helps with the feeling of dying,” you assume to know how he is feeling with that. He looks up at you, puzzled “I feel great,” he smirks.

You take a few seconds before you realise, he’s joking with you.

“Just drink it, even for you this can’t be enjoyable anymore,” you say as you slightly roll your eyes and turn to lean on the balcony railing.

The setup reminding you of the moment you shared with him back on Giedi Prime.

He listens and drinks it all in one go, it tastes a bit foul to his liking, like drinking grass or something. You laugh at his slight repulsion and let him have your glass of wine.

“Here, wash it away with this,” you say as he takes the glass and brushes your fingers with his softly.

He sips, and you see him return to his normal self. You smile softly at him as he gives you back your glass. You take a big sip out of the glass to wash down your creeping emotions. It makes you a bit numb and tingles within your body, but it’s a welcome treat. Feyd is staring at your face, trying to read your emotions at this point, you had been quiet all night. He decides to speak up.

“Lady Atreides, I have to thank you,” he starts, “not only did you save my life last night, you also went against the laws of your people to do so,” he continues as he takes your free hand, “you show a devotion to a cause much like we Harkonnen do, and for that I think you would be a worthy wife for me”.

You’re flattered, but his words seem to be a bit flat, very formal in a way. You had hoped his emotions to be a little bit stronger by now, but at least he wasn’t against marriage anymore. Even if it was for ulterior motives. He saw the struggle on your face, and wanted to shoot himself in the foot, he realised the words he spoke were extremely impersonal.

Ever the diplomat, you responded properly.

“I did what I had to do, I don’t think it would be labelled as an accident should you have died from poisoning, after my assassination attempt on Giedi Prime.”

You spoke with a little bit more sass when you mentioned that the people of his planet wanted to murder you, the alcohol probably giving you a bit more confidence tonight. He narrowed his eyes at you for a few seconds as you stared him down. Your face obviously not amused at his dryness. You turn away under his scorching look and revert your eyes towards the ocean. The moon casting a soft pale light on top of it. You felt his stare linger on you and wondered why both of you were so bad at communicating with each other.

You didn’t expect him to give you a heartfelt poem or anything, but to see him so devoid of emotions made you a little bit annoyed. You had just committed a crime for him, and all he could utter was “thanks, politically speaking we’d be great together”. What an asshole. That’s when you felt him lean towards you on the balcony, a hand trailing your shoulder softly. He had that dangerous quality about him, where you forgave him almost instantly whenever he touched you. You almost felt deprived every time he didn’t.

He trailed your shoulder and took his fingers further down the length of your arm, as if trying to soothe you. In a weird way it was working, you turn towards him as you see him staring back at you, his expression soft. His hand goes back up and onto your cheek, softly swiping at the scar.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he confesses.

Your heart skips several beats at his intimacy. He looks you up and down and takes a deep breath before returning to your face. He notices your cheeks have a colour to them now, maybe it came from the alcohol, but he wants to believe that his words were the culprit. He comes closer to you, and you let him. You turn your body towards him, feeling completely engulfed in his actions.

“If you’ll have me, will you marry me?” he softly speaks, as his other hand snakes around your waist.

He could probably hear your heartbeat at this point, you felt like you were melting into his touch. He felt so warm against your body, so perfectly moulded. You put your glass of wine down and place your hands on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat, calm and controlled. For every time people warned you of this man, you have seen him in a different light more than often. He didn’t strike fear inside of you anymore, more so desire and a heavy need of wanting to be his.

As you open your mouth to speak, you get interrupted by a staff member telling you your father wants to speak with you. The moment is completely ruined, anxiety striking your face and Feyd notices. He lets you go but takes your hand in his and pulls it towards his face. He kisses it softly, never letting his eyes leave yours.

“I will await your answer, darling.” He lets you go, and you blush even more than before.

As the staff member guides you towards your father, she speaks some words of encouragement, but to be honest, at this point all you can think of is Feyd. He had just confessed his feelings in a strange way, it felt like he wanted to clear up that he also chose you, and not because of some political agreement. Having to listen to your father now felt like torture, for your night would only become worse.

*

As you entered his quarters he was standing at the window, in deep thought. You sighed and wanted to just get this over with.

“Father, you called?”, you snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned around and looked at you fondly.

You were perplexed, you fully expected him to give you a lecture, but his face was saying otherwise.

“My dear daughter, you truly are some mastermind, aren’t you,” he went to hug you. “What makes you say that father?”, you truly did not understand. “You, saving the Na-Baron, forcing him to marry you in the process, brilliant.” He looked at you filled with pride, but you also realised he completely misunderstood your intentions. “Dad, I’m not forcing anyone, I did what felt right at that moment, had I not, then House Harkonnen would be launching an attack on us as we speak. It was never my intention to force Feyd,” you sounded desperate to make him understand that you were not scheming, but you actually thought Feyd was going to be a good partner.

He looked at you puzzled, like he couldn’t understand what you were implying.

“You meant to save him?” he questioned you. “Yes!” you exclaimed. “Why? This man attacked you on your first day of meeting,” he tried to reason with you. “Because I like him!” you almost shouted.

Your confession falling silent in his room, his face contorting into some form of disbelief. He was trying to understand how someone like you would potentially fall in love with someone like Feyd-Rautha. You sighed and looked away from him.

“I didn’t just break the law because I saw a political advantage. A man I like was dying in front of me, I only did what my heart forced me to do.”

You sounded a bit desperate, to be understood and not judged at this point. Your father noticed your shift in body language, he had made you feel uncomfortable. To his regret, he never married your mother, so he understands what it meant to feel the desperate need to get married to someone you loved.

He hugged you and reassured you it’d all be fine. He released you after a while and spoke.

“The law states that only spouses or family members can aid in the giving of blood. Your mother was against it because it’s not a true Bene Gesserit way, but I don’t care. Your happiness is more important than that,” he took your hands in his, “we will keep the secret for as long as we can, once you get married it doesn’t matter anymore,” he kisses you on your forehead.

Your father only wanted to protect you from the world you lived in, but Feyd also had to agree to keep this secret. Which in turn could be a more difficult task than you wanted it to be.

[diejager]

I HAVE A (kinda) stepdad!König+DBF!Horangi

so it was a while ago but I reealllyyyy liked the one u did where reader’s sort of hooking up w/ soap and ghost on the side?? If u remember that

I was wondering if you could do a story where they’re sort of just hooking up occasionally (as often as reader can get away) but clearly both the boy like them and want to further it but she’s worried about König and Horangi finding out.

pretty much they notice her exhibiting really weird behaviors in and out of bed towards them?? She’ll freak out if they approach her a specific way (not knowing König and Horangi take advantage of her that way) or sort of doesn’t rly care about her own pleasure cuz she’s sacrificing it for theirs…just sort of stuff that makes Soap and Ghost go “uhhh 🧍🧍‍♂️that’s kinda weird innit” (they’re presenting traits of being groomed/manipulated/raped/etc)

anyways somehow Soap and Ghost find out ab what’s going on at home and….yeah they’re not happy 😬😬

Thank you for your consideration!!!

— 🌘 !

Cw: DARKFIC, STEPCEST, DUB-CON/NON-CON, implied smut, abuse, implied kidnapping, possessive behaviour, implied one night stand, implied crush, kinda poly, tell if I missed any.

They weren’t saints. If anything, they were the farthest thing possible from good-natured men, with kind hearts and sound morals. Ghost and Soap were sick men, soaked in bloodshed and tragedy, gunpowder and tears, they weren’t good men, they were simply men doing another’s dirty work to keep the world safer. They’d seen their fair share of filth on this earth, the most depraved and savage monsters that found pleasure in plundering and killing, covert crimes done under the nose of most civilians, and hushed exchanges for prizes. They, themselves, have committed unforgettable and unforgivable acts, torture, murders, arson, and so, so much regrettable things that would forever scar their victims.

But this- your situation was gut-wrenching, in a way that twisted their guts and made their throats tight, deathly silent in the brewing rage. From Simon, who had an abusive up-bringing and torturous life, morals and ethics twisted beyond normalcy and comprehension; to Johnny, who’s busybody life turned darker and darker with every life he’s taken, bodies piling over bodies, a permanent reminder that he wasn’t the same bright-eyed and goodwilling saint he was when he first enlisted. 

They were mad: Simon enraptured in wrath, burning hotter than hell’s fire, whose rage rivaled one of God; and Johnny bubbled with rage, running through his veins like rivers of magma, scorching everything on his path to ash and rock. They were enraged to see the way you were used and forced into a new purpose by older men —much, much older men that they knew. Whereas Simon seethed silently, Johnny screeched loudly, words stumbling in a crazed frenzy.

It just- it simply wasn’t a good-natured frenzy. Ghost and Soap were not good men. It stemmed from jealousy and emotional possession. The many dates that you’d suddenly canceled, calling in a rain check that they had listened, were because you’d been fucked numb, legs too weak to walk or support you, tied to your bed or filled with another man’s cum. How rarely they met you outside of simple bar nights with your girlfriends before you’d hookup with them for the night until you had to leave. Or your reoccurring bruises, hidden under the clear lie of being clumsy, a white lie, truly, but a lie nonetheless and they hated liars. 

And the worse thing, the one that hits the most, was that you were being fucked, and abused, and taken advantage of by men they constantly butted heads with. Once enemies, always enemies. They didn’t forgive or forget in their business, and their rivalry would continue until one or the other had died. Ghost would plan, scheme your taking and Soap would take care of you, a man much softer than his rough hide. Soap would gently introduce you into your new life, and if it does work, then Ghost would have to step in, eyes dark and heart frozen over. 

You’d eventually like living with them. At least you liked them.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @haven-1307 @shironasumi @lucienbarkbark @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @223princess @maylovesyousomuch @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami

[vickiee-mcmuffin]

It's always been you

Word count: 3.8k

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Female Reader

Trope: Explicit Smut, Age gap (18+ Warning, Minors DNI)

A/N: Here's one of my old fics which is one of my favs. I've added some extra bits to the smut, so enjoy ;)

Summary: You're in a relationship with a guy called Luke after you were too scared to tell Stephen how you really felt about him. But one thing leads to another when you go to the Sanctum to see Stephen after an argument with Luke.

When you first arrived at Kamar Taj almost a year ago, it was Doctor Stephen Strange that you first met out of everyone. He was one of the masters there, after all, and despite that – you had fallen for him. Sometimes it felt like more than a crush, though, especially since you and Stephen grew closer and closer as time went by. You always assumed your crush would lead nowhere and you’d get over him, because there were days when you thought nothing would happen with you and Stephen. He was older than you; you were a good twenty years younger than him. Eventually, you decided to just date a guy who seemed a bit more attainable. That was when you met Luke. He was around your age, and you hoped that being with him would diminish the crush you had on Stephen – even though you were going to stay best friends with him.

But it didn’t take you long to realise that Luke wasn’t the man for you. He wasn’t always the best boyfriend. He seemed to only care about himself and his own pleasure, and it quickly got to you. There were days when it seemed like Stephen would listen to you more than your own boyfriend would. And whenever you told Stephen about your problems with Luke, he would always be so kind and caring.

And it was then that you realised that you loved Stephen. But fear got the best of you, and you weren’t ready to tell him the truth. You were convinced he didn’t even feel the same way back, anyway. Part of you was also scared to tell Luke that you wanted to end things. What if he freaked out and got angry?

You were officially stuck between a rock and a hard place.

******

It was early one evening and you found yourself laying on Luke’s bed. He wouldn’t even look at you, though. His eyes were stuck on his phone. As usual, he was paying no attention to you. But you were over it. If you were going to be with him, he would have to start acting like an actual boyfriend.

“Can you please just put your phone down and come cuddle with me?” you asked with a little pout.

But Luke said nothing. Whatever was on his phone seemed much more important.

“Luke,” you tried again. “Please just come cuddle with me.”

Luke grunted and rolled his eyes. “I heard you the first time, Y/N. I’m busy right now.”

“You barely ever give me any attention,” you said quietly. “It makes me upset. You’re always on your phone, talking to other people, when I’m right there.”

“Well, you’re always talking to Stephen,” snapped Luke.

“Uh, yeah. I talk to him because he actually listens to me.”

Luke chuckled. “I do listen to you.”

“When’s my birthday?” you suddenly asked him. It was a test. If he really, truly cared for you, then he would know that fact.

Luke shrugged. “July 9th.”

You shook your head, trying not to glare at him. “It’s June 9th. See. You don’t listen!”

And he didn’t even seem concerned with that as he tapped away on his phone. It hurt. It really did. And you found yourself with tears welling up in your eyes. You decided right then and there that you were going to talk to the person who actually listened to you. And that was Stephen.

You got off the bed in a huff, determined to get away from Luke. You stormed over to the door, yanking it open in a hurry.

“Where are you going?” Luke called out.

“It doesn’t matter,” you told him bluntly.

“I bet you’re going to him. At the Sanctum.” Luke’s voice was laced with an accusatory tone.

You didn’t answer. You just slammed the door shut, not caring that you were in your pyjamas. If Luke was going to treat you like that, then you were going to put some distance between the both of you. In a rush, you opened up a portal that would take you right to where Stephen would be. The New York Sanctum. You closed the portal behind you when you arrived and took quiet steps to Stephen’s room. Was he still awake? It was late. You hoped he was up.

When you got to his door you saw a small stream of light shining through. That was a good sign. You knocked on the door and heard some noise from behind it.

“Who’s there?” Stephen asked loudly.

“It’s me,” you responded.

“Come in!”

You pushed the door open, finding Stephen there in his robe and a thick book on his lap.

“Hey,” Stephen greeted you.

“Hi. Am I disturbing you?” you asked. That was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Not at all. What’s wrong?”

You sighed at the question. “Can I come and sit with you in the bed and tell you?”

“Of course.” Stephen pulled his blanket back, offering you a spot to sit.

You joined him on the comfortable bed, taking in the situation. You and Luke had just had a pretty nasty fight. And you hated the way he made you feel. You said nothing for a while, and neither did Stephen, until he finally broke the silence.

“What happened?” he asked.

You turned to look at him, noticing the worry on his face. You sucked in a sharp breath before starting your story. “Me and Luke just had a little argument.”

“Why?”

“I’ve just noticed that Luke doesn’t really pay attention to me. He wants to spend more time on his phone than he does with me.” As you said that, you could see Stephen shaking his head. “And earlier, I asked Luke if we could just cuddle. But all he did was ignore me.” The words got to you as you remembered the argument. Tears formed in your eyes yet again, your voice turning all soft.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” Stephen said quickly. He pulled you to him, letting you rest your head on his chest as he hugged you tight.

You pulled back a little to wipe at your eyes. “I’ve noticed during our whole relationship that he doesn’t really listen to me. He doesn’t show me that he cares about me.”

“I’ve noticed that too.”

Your eyes widened a little. “Really?”

Stephen nodded at you. “I’ve noticed how Luke upsets you. But I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to make you anymore upset. And I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I care about you, Y/N. So much. I love you. I love every part of you.”

Your head snapped to the side as you looked at Stephen, completely taken aback by what he had just said. Did he just…?

“What?” you asked with a whisper.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered, his eyes shutting for a second. He turned away from you, suddenly looking embarrassed.

“Stephen,” you called out to him.

He turned back around. Slowly. And there you saw his bright red cheeks.

“Is that true?” you wondered. “Did you really mean that?”

Stephen sighed loudly. “Yes. It’s true. And I’ve loved you ever since we first met. It broke my heart so much when I found out that you were with Luke. I kept my mouth shut because I just wanted to be happy for you. And I knew nothing could really happen between us, anyway. Because of our age gap…”

For a long time, you and Stephen just looked at each other. You were in the middle of taking in every word he just told you. His confession. But then you couldn’t help it when you sent him a teary-eyed smile. Reaching forward, you cupped his face with your hands. He smiled at you. A sweet, bright smile.

“I love you too. And I always have,” you whispered.

“Really?”

You nodded and leaned over to him, giving him a soft kiss. And then he kissed you back. And it was slow and moving and so, so perfect. But Stephen suddenly pulled away.

“What about Luke?” he asked you.

“Stephen, I’ve given Luke many opportunities. I’m done being treated second best,” you said confidently. You gave Stephen another kiss before eyeing him closely. “I’ve always loved you, Stephen. I’m sorry I was just too much of a coward to admit it.”

Stephen laughed lowly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Well, that makes two of us then.”

You giggled right back at him before Stephen kissed you. It quickly grew heated, your tongue diving into Stephen’s mouth. His hands lowered and held your hips tight, pulling you right into his lap. Your lips broke apart for a split second, but Stephen wasted no time as he quickly pulled you back into a kiss.

Your arms quickly wrapped around his broad back, with Stephen mimicking the action as he held you nice and tight. Tongues dancing together, you suddenly felt something hard pressing into you. You had to pull away from Stephen when you realised what it was. You gasped, watching as Stephen blushed all over again.

But you didn’t care. You kissed him fast and hard and noticed just how quickly Stephen kissed you back. Rocking your hips against his, you heard Stephen groan for you. The noise literally had you going weak right there in his arms, your centre growing wetter and wetter.

You kept kissing and rocking your hips, loving the sounds Stephen kept making. Those deep, guttural groans. But you pulled away from him so you could whisper out a request.

“Please make love to me,” you told him.

“Are you sure?” he asked with big eyes.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” You meant every word.

Stephen kissed you softly before moving away from your mouth. “Okay.”

He shifted a little so that you were laying on the bed, while Stephen hovered above you. You shared another kiss before Stephen reached down, pulling off your top and exposing your breasts. He threw the top to the floor before he stared down at your breasts, taking them in. He stared at you, at your hard nipples. And then he blushed some more. You found it so adorable.

“You look so beautiful,” he said with a whisper. Then he leaned down, his warm lips kissing your skin. His lips ghosted over your nipples as he paid attention to each breast. Then he sucked one of your breasts into his mouth, moaning as a big hand grasped the other one.

The feeling had you whining. You reached down, raking a hand through Stephen’s thick locks. Your back arched for him, letting pleasure take over. You felt so wet. And it was all for Stephen. He stayed there, licking and sucking at your breast, before reaching down to pull down your pyjama bottoms and panties. They both hit the floor, and then you were completely and utterly exposed for Stephen. Every part of you was on show.

“Fuck,” Stephen hissed as he stared at you. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

He moved down, kissing you hard and fast. Your tongues moved together wildly, but you had to see Stephen. You had to see him properly.

“I wanna see you too,” you said with a whine. “Please.”

“Alright, sweetheart.” He nodded. He got off the bed to stand up, slowly pulling off his robe, exposing his cock.

You literally gasped at what you were seeing. He was so hard. And so, so big. Thick too. You couldn’t wait to feel him deep inside of you.

Stephen got back on the bed and you wasted no time spreading your legs for him. Stephen then got settled in between your legs as he hovered above you. He kissed you softly, and while his mouth was so perfect, you needed him to take you already.

“Please fuck me,” you pleaded with him.

“Okay,” Stephen groaned. “But I’m gonna start off slow. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You smiled at how sweet and caring he was being. “Okay.”

Stephen gave you a soft kiss before grabbing his cock. He ran the tip up and down your wet slit a few times. The swollen tip of his cock was soon covered in your arousal. You let out a sharp moan when you felt Stephen press the head of his cock against your clit. It felt so good.

“Are you ready?” He asked, voice deep.

You nodded eagerly at him. Stephen watched you closely as he pressed the tip of his cock to your entrance, and then he slid right into you with absolute ease. You moaned in unison, and then Stephen buried his face in your neck as he pushed more of his cock into you. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, wanting to feel him close. You could hear Stephen groaning into your ear when he filled you up, right to the hilt as he bottomed out. The noise had you clenching around him.

“Fuck,” Stephen moaned out.

“Are you okay?” you quickly asked.

Stephen moved so that he could stare down at you. His cheeks were so red. “Yes. You just feel so good wrapped around my cock.”

You gave him a quick kiss. “Please move. Please.”

Stephen’s eyes were stuck on you as he began to move his cock. He was moving slowly, but the pleasure was still there and had you letting out little moans. You dragged your nails across his skin, digging into him. But you had to have more.

“Please move faster,” you begged. “Please.”

Stephen did. He thrusted into you that little bit faster and harder, and you couldn’t help it when you let out a long moan. The sound filled the room right up. You couldn’t believe how good he was making you feel. The pleasure was so new to you, and you had no idea that sex could feel so good.

Stephen kept moving in and out of you, his cock stretching you out. He was moving fast and hard and it was exactly what you needed.

“Oh, please don’t stop!” you let out.

“I’m not gonna stop.” He leaned down, giving you a rushed kiss that you eagerly returned. Stephen placed his hands on either side of your head and suddenly began to just pound into you wildly.

“Stephen!” you whined out. “Mm, fuck me just like that!”

Your shaky hands reached down as you grabbed at the blankets, pulling at them as Stephen took you hard and fast and so, so deep. Your knuckles literally turned white as you grabbed at the blankets, getting lost in the pure pleasure that Stephen was giving you. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room and you loved every second of it.

Stephen suddenly pushed his cock into you nice and deep. The swollen tip of his cock was pressing up against that sweet, sensitive spot – a spot no one had ever reached before.

“Mm, your cock feels so good,” you cried out.

“Fuck.” Stephen suddenly lowered his body, pressing up against you tightly.

You kissed each other hard and fast; all the while Stephen kept hitting that spot again and again. You circled your arms around his back and let out a long moan when you realised that your orgasm was quickly forming. It was something you had never felt before. You needed it so bad.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you whined out. Stephen was fucking you so good. He knew exactly how to touch you. Exactly how to make you feel good, and you knew you were going to meet your orgasm any second now.

That seemed to trigger something in Stephen, because he began to pound into you wildly from above. You kept crying out, letting Stephen know just how good he was making you feel. Your back arched as that wild feeling grew more and more. You kept moaning, unable to believe how good you were feeling – and how it was Stephen of all people who was making you feel so good. And then the feeling hit you. Your orgasm. It hit you hard and fast and you lost it right there on Stephen’s cock.

“Oh, Stephen!” you moaned out, letting your orgasm take over your body. It felt so good. You were growing wetter and wetter by the second, letting Stephen pound right into you.

Stephen fucked you right through your orgasm. He was dragging out the pure pleasure, allowing you to feel every second of it. He groaned deeply, and you had a feeling it was because your pussy was clenching right around Stephen, pulling him deeper and deeper into you.

He kept pounding into you and you suddenly felt something else growing. Another orgasm. But it felt so much stronger than the one you just had. It was building up, second by second, the heat just growing the more Stephen fucked you. And he was fucking you so good, so hard. He seemed to be entirely focused on your pleasure alone, his cock stretching you out and filling you up at just the right angle yet again.

“Stephen, please keep moving,” you whined as he kept on thrusting his cock into you. “Oh, fuck. I think I’m going to…”

"Just let go, sweetheart," Stephen told you.

After those words left his mouth, you felt yourself coming undone. You couldn’t say anything. All you did was scream loudly as you came a second time, the feeling driving you wild. You were gushing right around Stephen’s length, making you feel so wet between your thighs. It was something you had never felt before, and you kept feeling yourself getting wetter the more Stephen fucked you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you saw white, your ears ringing. All you could feel was complete and total pleasure as you felt your body shaking. Stephen was dragging out that wonderful feeling with his cock, like he wanted to make sure that your orgasm was lasting as long as possible.

You whined and cried out, eyes shut tight as your strong orgasm hit you. You still didn’t say anything and instead just let out sounds of pleasure, your breathing unsteady as Stephen fucked you good and hard.

Eventually, the wonderful feeling faded, and you found yourself letting out soft whines as Stephen kept moving in and out of you, his cock twitching inside of you.

“I’m gonna cum,” he muttered out.

“Mm, you can cum inside of me,” you whispered, wanting to feel him lose himself inside of you. “I’m on the pill. Please cum inside of me. Please.” You needed it. You had to have Stephen – every part of him.

It seemed as if that was all Stephen needed to hear, because a second later, he was giving you a few more deep thrusts before letting out the deepest of groans. And then he came. He came right there inside of you, filling you up. He lost all control, giving you every drop of cum he had to offer.

He was panting wildly as he pushed in and out of you. Soon his breathing settled and he laid down next to you on the bed. You were in the middle of catching your breath too. You were still trying to process what just happened with you and Stephen.

Stephen seemed to get his breathing back on track and got up. He put his robe on and then headed off into another room. He came back with a washcloth in hand. You laid there, body still shaking a little, as Stephen cleaned you up gingerly.

"Did you know you squirted?" Stephen asked you as he cleaned up your sensitive area gently.

You stared at him for a long moment before you shook your head. That must have been what you were experiencing earlier when you felt so wet between your thighs.

"No, no man has ever made me do that before... Until you of course," you told Stephen and he sent you a smile before winking at you. He then stood up and made his way back over to the other room to put the washcloth back.

After he returned from putting the washcloth back, he climbed back into bed with you and covered you with the warm blankets.

“Are you okay?” he asked lowly.

“I’m okay.” You nodded at him. You moved over to Stephen, laying down on his broad chest as he wrapped an arm around you. It felt so good to have him cuddle you, to have him hold you close.

It was quiet for a while. And you figured that Stephen just wanted to get some sleep, but then he broke the silence.

“So, when do you plan on telling Luke that your relationship is over?” he asked.

It was a good question. Shifting slightly, you looked up at Stephen. “I’ll probably tell him tomorrow, I guess. If he listens to me, that is. He barely even listens to me when I’m talking. He probably won’t even listen to me when I finally break up with him.”

“Does Luke listen to you about anything?” Stephen asked with a furrowed brow. He looked offended on your behalf.

You shook your head at him. “I don’t think so. He doesn’t even know when my birthday is. And he doesn’t know the stuff I like, or the stuff I don’t like.”

Stephen’s eyes widened. “How could he not remember that your birthday is the 9th of June? Or that your favourite flowers are roses? Or that you hate spicy food?” There was such disbelief in Stephen’s voice, like he couldn’t even process the fact that Luke didn’t know those things about you.

You looked at Stephen for what felt like an hour. You were in total shock. How was it that your boyfriend didn’t know any of that stuff, but Stephen did? Stephen knew you better than your boyfriend did. Better than anyone else, it seemed.

“How… How do you know all of that?” you finally let out, your voice a bit shaky. Your mind was still a little hazy from your love making session.

Stephen just smiled at you. “I actually listen to everything you tell me.”

You returned his smile. It was big and bright, and that was because you were experiencing full, pure joy. You kissed Stephen softly and slowly, loving the way he gently kissed you back. You were right where you belonged. Right there with the man who actually knew you. You were so lucky that the two of you had found each other – even with the Luke hurdle that had been thrown your way. But he could be dealt with later.

“I love you, Stephen Strange,” you said with a whisper.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said, his voice laced with what you could only describe as pure love. You and Stephen laid there together, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Your eyes fluttered shut as pure exhaustion took over. But you were truly over the moon that it was Stephen that you were with. Because he was the one who listened to you. He was the one who cared for you. And he was the one who loved you.

And you loved him just as much.

Tag list: @butchers-girl @azu21 @polytheatrix @lucimorningst4r @evelyn-kingsley @withalittlehoney @mirikusashes @bobateadaydreams @strangelockd @thealleydog @cemak @stewardofningishzida @smokeywhalee @floatingfireflies @iamsherlocked1479 @icytrickster17 @asherloki @alice-bcmf @aphroditesdilemma @strangesthirdeye @rmoonstoner @stephenswh0re

[pinkwhalepjs]

I LOVE that the collapse of several character relationships this episode comes down to class at the heart of things. The three who were born small folk have infinitely less agency in their own lives. They rise and fall at the whims of the powerful people they serve.

Amangeaux may see Karna as a daughter figure but as she begs her to let her go Karna can clearly see that her biological son is infinitely more important to Amangeaux than Karna could ever be. Amangeaux doesn’t want to play at being queen anymore and it is Karna who must suffer for it. She then attaches herself to Senator Ariana Gemelli and then again to Delissandro. She is dependent on them and lives ultimately at their whim. She may even love Deli but she must know that their relationship can never truly be one of equals. It is part of the tragedy of her character that she seems to always to some extent yearn for those she serves, admiring and caring for them in a way that is unlikely to be returned in full. And even more so that she seems an unwilling servant of the Hungry One who takes of her flesh in return for power and continued life. Unfortunately a good parallel for her relationships to her fellow mortals.

And this is what breaks apart Collin and Deli too. Collin was born to live in fear of what high born can do to those who cross them. He poignantly rebukes Deli that he does not doubt he will be a great leader of the Meatlands, but he is no leader Collin would swear to. He is a cruel and uncaring lord like the rest. He cares not for the innocent he condemns to death on his road to glory. Collin returns to the home of the man he killed because this life matters to him and he knows it does not to Delissandro even though he took it for his sake. Collin grows sick of being an instrument in the same sort of uncaring violence that killed his own family. He leaves behind the blades he swore in service to Delissandro. His anger is much quieter than Deli’s blusterous rage. It feels more directed at himself than at Deli. How could he have deluded himself into seeing this man as a friend and equal all these years? A man who doesn’t even know who he is after all those years by his side.

Raphaniel is the most scattered and broken because he began to think of himself as no longer a member of the small folk. But he forgot that he lives and dies at the mercy of his superiors still and that which is given him can just as easily if not far more easily be taken away. To gain power takes a lifetime but to lose it takes an instant. He scrambles again and again until it destroys his mind and body to gain some foothold of power or at least some sense that he serves some higher purpose but is met at every turn with empty sound. He was born cursed with visions of something terrible beyond but finds perhaps more horrible than the sense that there is something special wrong with him alone is the growing sense in his old age that his life and acts may in the end be meaningless entirely and when he dies he will leave behind just as little mark as any other poor born radish.

[velvet4510]

I cry when I think about Sam’s promise to never leave Frodo.

I cry when I think about how, in the book, the Elves say “don’t you leave him” as a concerned encouragement only because they know Frodo is being followed by Black Riders; they have no idea of the true gravity of the situation, or that these two hobbits will be going anywhere near the fortress of the Dark Lord himself.

I cry when I think about how Sam has already made up his mind completely when the Elves give him that advice, that he has already made the choice to go with Frodo anywhere, even the Moon, and to fight Black Riders for him. “Leave him????” the very idea is absurd to him already. He’s got it all figured out.

I cry when I think about how Sam doesn’t technically make his promise to the Elves; he makes it to Frodo, and more importantly, to himself. He just loves Frodo so much that he makes the promise to himself. “Never leave your master, that’s what you said, never, never!” Not what the Elves or Gandalf or anyone else said. What he himself said. What he vowed to himself for the sake of his greatest love.

I cry when I think about how, in the movie, Sam’s spoken excuse for his care for Frodo in the scene by the river is “I promised Gandalf,” but Sean Astin’s soulful performance reveals the aforementioned truth…in the boat scene all he says is “I made a promise,” he doesn’t say it was made to Gandalf….it’s the same as the book, he made the promise to himself…the emotion and love in his voice when he says “don’t you lose him and I don’t mean to”…a shy humble gardener’s way of saying “don’t you see? it’s not just about what a wizard told me to do, it’s about how I love you and I can’t lose you.” And Frodo’s reaction shows he registers this.

I cry when I think about how Sam keeps on choosing that promise over everything else, even his own safety, to the point where he directly goes against Frodo’s wishes for his safety and follows him to Mordor, not because anyone twisted his arm and forced him to do it, not because Frodo asked anything of him, but because he loves Frodo so much that he commits to his promise.

I cry when I think about how Sam’s promise is like a marriage vow, “in sickness and in health,” “for richer for poorer.” Even as Frodo grows sicker and sicker, even as Sam almost dies dozens of times, he honors this vow and proves what love really means.

I cry when I think about how Sam’s promise is the opposite of the forced obligation that many ignorant readers/viewers have claimed it to be (yes, i’ve read that claim, that he never wanted to go, that the whole time he secretly resented Frodo for taking him away from Rosie, what book did those numbskulls read???)…how Sam, in every version of the story, takes a mere encouragement made in total ignorance of what they will really be up against, and develops it into a personal vow based on pure love which ultimately gives him the strength to defeat Shelob one-on-one, storm an Orc-infested tower all by himself, and climb a giant mountain with an adult hobbit on his shoulders.

I cry when I think about how Sam’s promise is so much like a marriage vow that he cannot leave Frodo when Rosie reveals she wants to marry him, that he doesn’t marry Rosie until she agrees that they can still live with Frodo.

I cry when I think about how Sam’s promise lasts all his life into feeble old age, across decades of time and millions of miles, even when he knows Frodo is in good healing hands and his emotional support is no longer reliant on him alone … he still ultimately forsakes all that he has ever known to find Frodo in the West, because his promise, his love, is everlasting.

I cry when I think about how Sam proves that love is a choice, that the vows you make for a person are vows for yourself as much as that person. Why would you make such a vow? All that anyone else can do is encourage you to act on what you already feel. The choice is only yours. And you choose to make that vow when you truly love someone, as Sam does.

I cry when I think about how Sam proves that love is a promise.

[rizzoreads88]

I just want to tell you even though I have never shipped elriel its so nice to see at there are some elriels out there who love Lucien.one thing I can stand about most elriel shippers is they try to villianize Lucien all the time.

Hi anon,

Ohh man is this going to be a loooonngg response ….There are a lot of Elriels who still like Lucien. However I can understand what your saying too as I think at times certain shippers from both sides tend to try and paint Lucien/Azriel in a bad light depending upon who they ship…

Some E/uciens say Azriel is incel who feels entitled to woman and only cares about sex while some Elriels say Lucien is a coward and didn’t help Feyre enough. While neither are perfect( because no one is )none of this is true about either. I think both sides of these arguments contradict each other.

⭐️Lets start with the “Lucien didn’t do enough to help feyre” and he’s a coward argument

Do we forget Lucien was putting his life on the line UTM to help her whenever he could? He was also thrown into the second trial and almost died for being her friend… in Acomaf when everything was going wrong between her and Tamlin Lucien did try to help them both. And neither listened. (I don’t see how anyone can blame anything on Lucien seeing as he wasn’t in that relationship and Feyre was a grown ass woman but I digress). Then in acowar Feyre uses him as a pawn to try and make Tamlin jealous not even caring the repercussions it could have for Lucien. After all this when Feyre was escaping the spring court to go back to the night court Lucien was willing to die by the weird Hybern twins so she could escape…Lucien has helped Feyre in many ways. She would have never gotten back to the Nc without him or survived the trials UTM without him. He also did try to help her AND tamlin and neither listened… “well all he did was talk to them that’s not enough” What are you supposed to do when two grown ass adults are in the throes of PTSD and depression and in a consenting relationship if they won’t listen to anyone? Not to mention while this is going on Lucien is busy trying to protect the spring court citizens, gets attacked and injured by amaranthas beast, is trying to help Tamlin rebuild the spring court and dealing w his own mental health issues too. He’s being put in the middle of Tamlin and Feyre and tries to help them both and they don’t listen but “he didn’t do enough”? I’m sorry what a senseless argument that is…

Let’s look at the flip side… if you blame Lucien for not “helping feyre enough” do you blame Azriel for not helping feyre or nesta as well? Azriel had no issue going along with Rhysand taking away feyres bodily autonomy or lying to his high lady… Azriel said nothing when everyone found out Nesta could make made weapons but Amren & Rhysand felt she shouldn’t know about her own body (Rhysand seems to have a pattern of keeping info from women about there own bodies🥴), Azriel said nothing when Amren lied about court laws to manipulate Nesta into the house of wind or when they actually locked her in the HOW. How about in HOFAS when rhysand exploded rooms out of his anger for Nesta and he triggered ember, azriel said nothing to defend Nesta or call Rhys out and azriel had actually been around Bryce and got to know her more then them. You can’t say Lucien is a coward and didn’t help Feyre enough if you don’t hold that same smoke for Azriel in all these situations either. Let’s also not forget Lucien went on a dangerous mission to find their dad and Vassa and helped fight in the war. Lucien is no coward.

⭐️Now let’s move on to Azriel is just a incel who feels he’s entitled to women and only wants sex…

If you truly feel this about Azriel after Acosf and Hofas you don’t understand his character. Sorry not sorry. This man has never once acted entitled to a woman. “ well he literally says in his bonus chapter he feels should get elain because she’s the third sister”. No he doesn’t. He was asking how it’s possible the three of them came into their lives and rhysand and cassian fall in love and are mates to Feyre/ Nesta but he has feelings for Elain and yet can’t be with her. He was questioning fate over Elain. We know this because he then goes on to question his own damn religion over her too when he questions the cauldron over her. Friends let’s be so for real here…. You don’t hang out in the garden until the wee hours of the morning with someone, you don’t risk your life not caring you could die to rescue someone and then carry them while your bleeding out and won’t go get looked at until you know there ok…. You don’t save someone’s gift for a year and look at it every night… you dont lend someone your most prized possession that you never even let your best friends or anyone else touch… if you just feel only lust or entitlement to them. You and I both know Azriel has deep feelings for Elain. The antis know it too no matter how much they try and act like they don’t.

Let’s look at the flip side of this… if you hold this against Azriel do you also hold this against Lucien? Remember when Lucien left with feyre to go to the Nc to see if Elain was worth it? Or how about the first thoughts he had when he saw her at the spring court being “Touch her, smell her, taste her—“ even though he noticed how her depression had made her so thin… “well those are mate instincts” your right they are but that was still one of the first things he thought… so again you can’t act like azriel is a incel who only wants elain for a booty call and is entitled to her when Lucien thinks lustful thoughts about her and doesn’t even know her like Azriel does.

✨At the end of the day BOTH Lucien and Azriel are good men. Let’s not forget Feyre even talks about how good of a man Lucien is to Elain. We all know how the inner circle feels about Azriel as well. It is evident by both of thier actions they both have great hearts. I hate when either sides put either down because of the ships. You can still love a character and ship them with whoever.✨

[borntoocry]

rainy argument with ellie

thick reader x ellie williams

a one shot where you and ellie have an argument over you defending yourself and ellie comes back sopping wet from the rain.

a/n: this is shitty. i’m like half awake and i had this idea while driving home in the rain. but here it is cause why not. i already wrote it.

warnings: cat-calling, harassment. violence (well deserved tho).

an argument had ensued between you and ellie before she went off on patrol. it was over something stupid—truly. it was evident that ellie was quite the jealous girlfriend. she hated the looks you’d get as you passed by the group of immature teenage boys that lingered by the horse stalls. you were quite… thicker than most girls in jackson. you didn’t know your mom, as she had died as soon as you were born, but you did thank her along with whoever your dad was for the curves you had. but with great beauty came great consequences.

the teenage boys that ellie hated enjoyed the sight of your body. especially in the pair of pants you and ellie found at an abandoned mall. it was hard to find pants that fit you, especially because of your thighs and ass. some might fit your thighs, maybe your ass, but the fabric around your waist always tended to flare out. but when you found that one pair of jeans while on patrol: no one could stop staring. some stares were flattering while others were pervy. and those were from the immature men in jackson.

ellie hated them so much that she’d straighten herself out whilst around them and throw daggers with her eyes; she’d yell out a, "What are you looking at?" followed by a, "You better not be looking at her ass or your ass will be the one knocked the fuck out!"

you tried telling her to stop it. looks your way would never end, unless you lost everything as soon as you turned 60 or something. you’d be this voluptuous girl guys (and potentially some girls) would, maybe, wet dream about. at least that’s what your girlfriend told you.

and to that, you’d say, "I don’t wanna think about it. Plus, I don’t care what people say or think about me. Let them think. And stare. Because at the end of the day, I’m with you. Not them."

she didn’t care about this. and her bantering continued until this morning, when one of the guys, Jack, whistled your way and asked if you were free after you returned from patrol.

yes, it was wrong, and yes, it made you uncomfortable, but you were going to tell him off. not as violently as ellie did, but you were going to defend yourself. but ellie took it into her own hands and knocked his lights out.

and so you pulled her away, shoved her towards her initial destination, and laughed in her face.

ellie raised her angry eyebrows, confused on why you were laughing. "what the fuck?" she asked. "why are you laughing? he was fucking cat calling you, YN!"

"yeah!" you exclaimed, "i know. and i was going to tell him something. but you decided to butt in and defend me when i can defend myself. i thought i told you to stop going around and knocking people out over me."

"you act like it’s no biggie that guys are harassing you," she continued.

maybe she was being serious… she was, you couldn’t lie, but you were trying to make a point. you loved that she defended you, but you needed to stand up for yourself. you needed to make it known that ellie wasn’t the only person they had to fear—it was you, too! you were capable of knocking people out, giving black eyes; you were no one to mess with. and you were a woman who doesn’t enjoy being cat-called, just like most other women. and if they were going to do so, you would give them a reason to think twice.

"i’m not acting like that. i just want you to think next time before you knock people out over me. i’m a big girl! i can stand up for myself. i can knock people out, too. i can cuss people out like a goddamn sailor."

ellie genuinely looked confused. she was a good person, yes, but she was always trying to save you. goddamn her and her savior complex.

she shrugged and threw her hands up—bloody fists and stiff fingers. "fine. sure. i’ll stay back. i just want to be there for you."

you nodded. "just fuck off, el. i’ll talk to you tomorrow."

you didn’t mean to sound like a bitch, but you needed the day to think this argument through. what ellie was doing was sincere, but you also wanted to prove your point that you weren’t a damsel in distress. then again, ellie was being her protective self. she loved being your knight. so why was it that you were interfering with what made her feel safe, too?

you weren’t entirely angry, but you were annoyed. so you gave yourself the day to sit around with the children of jackson and talk your issues through with them as simply as you could. they probably didn’t understand most of what you said, but they tried to help. and that’s what mattered. you were calm and you understood how to talk your matters through with ellie.

however, your peace was slowly taken away from you as the day faded into night and ellie had yet to return from patrol. it had begun raining at around 4, and had yet to stop. you wondered if maybe she found some place and decided to sleep through the storm, but you knew she wouldn’t do that—she always raced home when it rained, she enjoyed sleeping in her own bed as it thundered outside her window.

you had them hopped onto the next possibility, which was that she was probably already home. so you walked over to her house two doors down and knocked. you knocked until joel opened to door, to which he said, "she’s not here, kiddo. not yet. don’t worry, she might be taking shelter."

you shook your head and returned home. it had been eight o’clock now and you had spiraled. you couldn’t keep still in your bed, or your couch, or at the dinner table. you walked about and picked at whatever skin you could peel until your thumbs were red and sore and your fingernails were chomped down.

you began heaving when you heard a knock at the door. you raced to it and without checking the peephole, you threw it open. the door smashed against the table beside you, knocking over a vase and breaking it open. that didn’t matter to you, though, because your heart slowly calmed at the sight of ellie standing on your porch.

she was wet—so very wet, that droplets fell around her, creating a ring that grew as she stood there longer.

"oh my god!" you exclaimed when you got a better look at her. she was trembling. "you’re gonna be sick! come inside."

"i have to apologize," she said, her voice and body shaking.

you nodded. "yes, so come inside."

she shook her head. "i have to leave you alone for the night. i just wanted to say sorry for—"

you reached forward and grabbed her arm. you yanked her forward and said, "yes, i understand, but stop being so stubborn and come inside. you’re shaking!"

you pulled in her behind you and shut the door. you didn’t stop dragging her until you reached the bathroom, where you sat her down on the toilet seat and unzipped her drenching jacket.

"i was scared," you said in a low tone as you pulled her shirt up her body. "where were you?"

"i was stuck finding something in the mall. i was there for a while and i tried taking shelter when it started raining but i couldn’t wait there overnight."

you threw her sopping shirt on top of her jacket that laid in the tub. you caressed her freezing shoulders and sighed. "what were you looking for?"

she reached a hand into her jean pocket and retrieved a green ring. it was silver band with peridot gems glued centimeters apart from each other. it was beautiful.

she grabbed your hand and slid it onto your right ring finger. "it’s real. i found it in one of those jewelry shops in the mall. i had passed by it a couple times before and i wanted to know if there was anything left behind. i searched and searched and then… this came up. in your ring size. it was the universe giving me a perfect gift to accommodate my apology."

you smiled softly. you looked down at it and then back at ellie. you lowered your head down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"i thank you for what you do for me," you said. "i just… sometimes all i want is to defend myself. people have been standing up for me for longer than i can remember and it’s gotten to the point where i’m not considered a threat. some don’t want that, but i do. i don’t want people to fuck with me."

ellie nodded. "i’m sorry. i should allow you to do that. i just like being there for you. i want you to know that i’ll always protect you."

"and i do know that," you answered. "and i love you for it. i really do, el. i just want people to know that i’m unfuck-with-able."

"and you are," ellie replied.

you smiled and dropped your lips back onto hers. you traced your fingers down her abdomen and began unbuttoning her jeans. you dragged them off her legs and grabbed the pile of clothes in the tub. you started the shower because ellie was freezing and most certainly to warm up.

you pulled her up and slapped her ass. "c’mon. get in there! you feel like death."

she flinched and rolled her eyes but hopped in anyway. she reached out a hand and shined her puppy-dog eyes. "come in with me? please. i need you to warm me up too."

it was your turn to roll your eyes. but you hopped in anyway. because you loved your knight in shining armor.

[rainforestakiie]

have anybody listened to the Floweytale by man on the internet? would make a really good adamsapple story. i might go back and add more, but thought it was interesting.

just something fun i noticed and thought i'd write something...

p.s this is the abusive relationship between eve and Adam. The one-sided romantic relationship between lucifer and Adam (Adam lost his soul so it is one-sided) Adam goes back to eve because he doesn’t know what else to do…before he comes to truly understand how unhealthy their relationship is.

Adam's Apple: The Tale of Eve's Descent

Nobody knew the depths of Eve's deranged, twisted mind. No one could fathom the darkness lurking beneath her flawless exterior. Eve, the epitome of innocence in Eden, concealed her true nature with a sweet smile and a glint in her caramel eyes, manipulating everyone, even deceiving Lucifer and Lilith.

Except Adam. Adam knew all too well the monstrous reality of what she was, of the sadistic pleasures she indulged in. Yet, he bore a measure of guilt, for she was born of him, crafted from his rib...

Eve committed unspeakable acts beneath Heaven’s notice. Her malevolence was mirrored in Adam's punishment, for Heaven believed him to be the perpetrator. She stood by, a smile playing on her lips, as he suffered for her sins.

After becoming a Fallen Angel in Hell, Adam wandered soullessly until Lucifer found him, a broken man. Lucifer, already estranged from Lilith, took Adam under his wing. Lucifer fell in love with Adam and the two shared many nights together. Despite Lucifer’s efforts to heal him, Adam remained numb, devoid of feeling.

Desperate for solace, Adam fled to Lilith, but her attempts to help him also failed. In a fit of despair, he cursed the heavens and took his own life.

Each time Adam died, he awoke back in Eden, the cycle beginning anew. He experimented with death, killing himself repeatedly, only to return unscathed. This tormenting cycle left him without a soul, unable to feel.

Initially, Adam sought redemption, following Heaven's path and giving everyone happy endings. However, ennui set in, and he began to wonder if the world would change if someone important died. He embarked on a macabre journey, killing everyone he knew—Lilith, Lucifer, Eve, Charlie, Emily—resetting the world each time to observe the changes.

The predictability of their responses bored him. Adam became a puppet master in a world of marionettes, able to foresee every action and word. Disenchanted, he reset the world once more, choosing to merely follow the flow.

In his twisted curiosity, Adam managed to bring Eve back. But this time, she was more malevolent than ever. When Adam died, he went to Heaven before falling to Hell. Eve’s soul, deemed too corrupted, had been sealed away by God. Yet, Adam released her, unleashing an even greater evil.

Eve, now truly the embodiment of ruin, sought to annihilate Heaven and Hell alike. Adam, at first intrigued, soon realized the peril she posed. She intended to use his power to achieve her apocalyptic vision.

Here, Adam's haunting recollection of his journey unfolds:

----

“I remember the first time I woke and saw the light

Armless, legless, I laid there

Oh, Eve, I was terrified

Then I learned I was reborn

As the another Sinner in this form

I called out, I screamed, I prayed

And yet nobody came

Then the king found me crying

So I explained everything

He held me tight Said, 'It's alright'

But I felt nothing during our first night together

Even with Lucifer

Can't feel anything

Please believe I was trying

But I stayed determined!

Ran away to the queen's place

She failed too

Always the same

No use there

I cried, I tried to care

Felt like I couldn't live anywhere

A world without love

A world without happiness

It is supposed to be easier away from you

I followed your path

Succeeded too

With no soul

What comes when you die?

Something primal burned inside

Screamed at the heavens 'This is not how it ends!'

Then I woke up like from a dream In the garden again

I could experiment

So over and over I died

But with determination I came back alive

Friends I made

Happy ends I gave

But I'd always predict

What they'd do, what they'd say

I believe In curiosity 'What'll happen if they die?' '

Well, let's see!'

It liberates to be this way

To kill just to see

How the world can change

Nowadays it's all the same

I've read, I've burned, killed, saved, redeemed

I have seen it all I have played every game

People spouting the same lines 'with your claws still in my mind’

Eve, I can't predict you

You surprise me every time

I saw you almost did forget

You'd stay determined yet

You came back from death, like me

Only one question remains

Why'd you come back to play?

Were you buried in the ruins?

Did you hear me call your name?

Guess it doesn't matter how

The tale will end now I'm tired of everything

Tired of being a Angel, A fallen Sinner

Tired of being a Human

Only one thing that's left, Eve

Let's finish what we started

Show them it's kill or be killed

Leave them all broken and scarred!

I had plans, I had designs

Seeing you changed my mind

Eve, with you by my side

Life seems ten times worse!

Killer from the world of man

Only you understand

We're pitiless killers, both

So just follow my plan!

H-hey... what is this feeling?!

Why can't I stop shaking?!

E-Eve. Be honest here! We don't have hard feelings!

Hey! Back off!

I changed my mind! This isn't a good idea!

Go back! This place is fine! Hell is just fine!

I’m happy! I am able to someday love again!

Stop making that face!

This isn't fun!

You're sick in the head!

That's enough!

You've won!

You still think there's more to do

Your killing is never through!

Are you still human inside?!

What kind of monster are you?!

Long past time to end this game

Now nothing feels the same!

Eve, did you do all this when you heard me call your name?

Eve was abusive to Adam

Lucifer loved Adam

Lilith cared for Adam

Adam had lost his soul when he became a Sinner

Both Lucifer and Lilith tried to help him but Adam became frustrated that he still couldn’t feel anything. Especially when Lucifer is showing love and affection towards him.

Adam’s death reset the world and he just kept killing himself to reset the world

Nothing changed until he accidentally called Eves name when he wondered if his life would have been easier if Eve was still abusing him. This is able to wake Eve up.

They return to their abusive relationship. Adam believe this is what he wants but it is not.

Adam realises hurting just him isn’t enough for Eve and she wants to destroy the world.

Should he tell Lucifer the truth? Both Lucifer and Lilith are aware of his missing soul but not about the reset.

[thescarletkiller]

Why does Francis family treat him the way they do? And the way they do

//Good question

I’ll start off with Richard here because this asshole of a father is mostly responsible for the way Francis is today. One day, I plan to go into detail on Richard’s backstory in a different post because it’s a whole different story itself as it explains why Richard became the abusive asshole he is and why he treated his family the way he did. But for now, I’ll focus on the reasons why he hurt Francis:

He had been abused as a child like Francis did: believe it or not, Richard did try to be a parent to Francis when Mary got pregnant. Even though he didn’t want Francis and told Mary to get an abortion, Mary wanted to keep her baby. Reluctantly, he caved in. But since he doesn’t know the proper way to raise a child and show his love towards him, Richard got frustrated and repeated what his father did to him onto Francis. When Francis was a child, Richard couldn’t stand how Francis was crying and making a mess on the walls and table. He always blows up on Francis on the most trivial things which is what his father also did to him. Basically Richard’s repeating the cycle of abuse.

His aggressive nature, trauma and mental illness: as you already know, Richard isn’t an easy person to be around. It’s not just because of his own trauma from being abused or what he had gone through during the war, it’s his nature to be aggressive. He developed PTSD, BPD and IED after what he had gone through. He hasn’t undergone therapy since mental health isn’t recognised during the early 1900s. Richard knew they’d lock him up in the asylum if he ever seek help. He didn’t want to go through what his mother did. So he left his mental illnesses go unchecked. And of course, it’s a huge problem, especially for Francis. Due to poorly Richard coped with his mental illnesses with his own vices (drinking bootlegged alcohol and smoking), he takes it out on either Francis or Mary during one of his episodes. Being around Richard is a ticking time bomb for Francis. He’ll never know when his father is gonna blow up on him or not. Richard definitely isn’t fit to be a father!

Untold resentment: Richard definitely hold a lot of resentment for his son for all the wrong reasons. One reason is that he sees Francis as an extension of himself. I don’t mean that he sees Francis as a trophy. I mean all the qualities Richard hates about himself. He projects all of his self-loathing, failures and trauma onto Francis. He sees himself as a victim of some sort and he’s punishing Francis for it. In a way, Richard is punishing himself but he uses Francis as an outlet for it. That’s why you can always hear him say, “You’ll understand if you put yourself in my shoes one day,” or “If it were up to me, I’d dump you in the battlefield so I won’t have to hear your incessant baby whining all day!” Another reason why Richard resents Francis is as you can already tell, he’s the son he never wished for. Not just because he accidentally got Mary pregnant one night, it’s because he wanted a child with an old lover of his. His old flame was the woman he truly loved all this time. But due to circumstances that weren’t in his favour, he was never meant to be with his love. And once Francis came into the picture, he thinks about the child he could’ve had with his old flame instead of Mary. Basically all Francis was to Richard is a burden and a painful reminder that he couldn’t get his old lover back. Until the day he died, Richard is still longing for his true love and the life he could’ve had with her.

Now, I’ll move onto Mary.

If you’ve read all of the lore or the fanfic I wrote, Mary is a good mother to Francis. Unlike Richard who doesn’t give a flying fuck about his son, Mary did everything she can to take care of Francis and make his life happy whenever she could. With how her husband acts towards him, Mary would always protect Francis and take on the abuse from Richard. While she can only do so much to protect Francis, at least she put in the effort.

Unfortunately, Mary did contribute to the why Francis became a serial killer. Years after years of taking Richard’s abuse made Mary go insane. As a result, she mentally broke and the trauma of her husband’s abuse made her terrified of him. And since Francis takes after Richard in terms of his appearance, Mary begins to have hallucinations and thought Richard and Francis were one person and they’re out to get her, which is why she threw a kettle of boiling hot water at Francis out of self defence. The last thing she did before she died was hurt Francis, and her insults impacted him for the rest of his life.

Mary also caught pneumonia when Francis was 17. Due to her fragile mental state and illness, she shut herself off from the entire world, inadvertently neglecting him and leaving him to grow up faster at a young age. While Mary did love her son with all her heart, she couldn’t be a proper mother to him in the end. I’m her defence, it wasn’t her fault. Richard was the one who broke her but she ended up hurting Francis during her final moments.

Long story short, none of Francis’s parents are 100% good people. Richard is obviously the worst out of the two because of the reasons I stated above. He hates his own son. Full stop.

Mary is the better parent here. She loves her son more than anything but unfortunately she ended up traumatising him for the rest of his life. It’s more of a morally grey type of situation with Mary where she’s a loving mother to Francis and protects him from Richard. But unintentionally hurts Francis after suffering a lot herself.

In the end, what they both did to Francis doesn’t justify their actions but gives you an explanation why they did it to him.

[blues-valentine]

I finished watching Manifest a few weeks ago, so my comments are probably old but here it is. It’s not a bad ending by any means — but if the original idea was for them to be back to the day the plane landed but make the right choices then why develop all of those relationships in the last season if it wasn’t going to mean much of anything in the finale. It’s like they wanted to give the audience everything and nothing for the last season at the same time. And it sucks.

The first thing, if they wanted Zeke x Michaela to be endgame since the start, why not actually make Jared fall in love with Drea like genuinely instead of relinking his relationship with Mick, making them be happy all of Season 4 but then forcing a Drea pregnancy and ultimately get Michaela to send him away to her? I feel like Drea deserved for Jared to choose her on his own and not because Michaela said not to him. It was so lame to give them a one episode endgame that didn’t feel earned when they could’ve build to that on Season 3/Season 4. I get Mick needed to be with Jared to see what she wanted but it could’ve been done better.

I never cared about TJ nd Olive since it was weird that TJ was 18 and Olive was 12 when they first saw each other. They managed to make their relationship less creepy after the time jump since Olive was a little older and “TJ was mentally still 18” but it didn’t make it less inappropriate. I didn’t care when he left and didn’t care when he came back but I get it since he was an OG passenger but the writers were obsessed with giving Olive a love interest when most of it didn’t add anything to the plot. And at the finale, it was clear that their relationship isn’t happening (at least in a loong time) since Olive needs to be a child, as it was meant to be and in the finale they made it seem like TJ and Violet (Adult Cal!first date) might be a future thing. So, was their romance on Season 4 even necessary? And I didn’t forget the college guy they made Olive date on Season 3 for nothing.

And then there’s the Saanvi and Ben thing.

Since the very start of the series they had such chemistry. And I don’t know if that was the idea or it was just the actors but they got in each other’s personal space real quick. And then they hinted at Saanvi’s romantic feelings for Ben in one of her therapy sessions — but I was still okay with them never crossing that line & keeping it platonic. Then, Grace dies and they still didn’t go there so at that point I thought they were going to keep it platonic but then they did made it canon and emphasized on how strong their connection is to the point they don’t feel it with anyone else — and a physical attraction they themselves are very aware of. And not just them but even Mick notices too. And they act on that attraction. Saanvi is Ben’s intellectual soulmate and best friend, in canon. He would trust her with his life in a heartbeat and viceversa. For about 6 years, they were each other’s confidants. And so, the show makes it canon but then backtracks and goes “but they still love their other partners and would go back to them” and that would be fine since it’s fair but here’s the thing with all that:

In the finale, they landed the day they were all supposed to land but now with some different perspective and experiences to make certain choices about their lives. They [the passengers] got to have and remember those experiences, not the people in their life. Ben, Saanvi, Mick are canonically different people from what they were — which is not true for the people in their life. Grace and Ben were at the verge of divorce before the plane — so magically that’s gonna be resolved now since Ben got to live a life where he loses her but she doesn’t even remember? The issues in Grace and Ben’s marriage won’t exist now that Ben knows Cal will be cured? Okay. Will Alex truly leave her husband and committ to an exclusive relationship with Saanvi? Because that was their issue as well.

And you want to tell me neither of those women will notice that there’s this connection between Ben and Saanvi that seems way too deep for two people that just met on a 4 hour flight? I don’t know about Alex but will Grace not feel threatened by this inexplicable bond and would they ever be able to fully be happy with their partners if they aren’t honest about all the experiences they shared together and some that would even count as emotional cheating? Like, we saw during the finale how Ben was so not ready to lose Saanvi. And it’s not like Saanvi will be away from their new life, she will be Cal’s doctor and will be in their life the same way she was in their old life. Grace and Ben were able to fix their relationship before because the callings were affecting Cal since she understandably didn’t believe Ben at first but now Cal doesn’t remember either. Then, she got pregnant and that gave their relationship a new propose but now nothing guarantees that their relationship will turn out the same way without those heavy circumstances. I’d like to think both Saanvi and Ben needed the chance to be with them the way it was supposed to be and see if it’s actually going to work out but I don’t think it will because 2023 Grace and Alex are still their 2018 selves while Ben and Saanvi are not.

The situation is different from Mick because neither Jared or Zeke have memories of what went down — she’s the only one that got to have a future with both of them and choose which one she wanted. That whole journey allowed her to understand that Jared and her might want different things from life and they would only get marry to fill a void — and she knows there’s other people that will align more with what they’d want for the future. It makes sense that she didn’t went back to what she was going to do before the plane dissapear. So, it doesn’t make sense for Ben or Saanvi to go back to their old life without thinking there won’t be any changes with their entire dynamic.

[seobnity]

⚉ characters: keeho x fem!reader

⤷(with rest of P1Harmony)

⚉ wc: 3,1k

⚉ genre: slice of life, angst, comfort, found family(?), family drama

⚉ theme: stepbrother!keeho, stepsister!reader

⚉ warnings: discussion of grief and loss (death of a parent), family abandonment themes, mention of nursing home and mobility problems

⚉ a/n: welcome or welcome back! This one was little tough to write but still very fun. I also need to say thank you to my friend who helped me with this story because I had some struggles. And also thank you so much for reading, leaving a heart or even reblogging - it means a lot to me! If you see any mistakes, please feel free to kindly correct me ♡

"So... what did he say?" Your gaze remained fixed on the phone your step brother now held in his hand, having just picked it up from the table when a notification appeared.

Keeho didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he read the message from his father—a response you both had been anticipating, though you already knew exactly what it would say. Keeho's silence only confirmed your suspicions.

"I can’t come, right?" You lowered your eyes to your cup of coffee, your voice trembling slightly, betraying the emotions you were struggling to suppress.

"It’s not... that." At last, Keeho spoke, though his voice lacked conviction.

"No?" You raised an eyebrow, meeting his gaze. "Then what is it? What’s the reason I can’t come with you?" Before Keeho could answer, you cut him off. "Let me guess," you said, pausing for effect, your tone edging on bitter. "The place where you’re supposed to meet isn’t ‘appropriate’ for someone like me. Am I right?"

"Y/N," 

"Keeho, don’t." You shook your head, a small sigh escaping your lips. You were so tired of his father’s behavior, always acting like you were never truly part of the family. "I’m just... It makes me sad, you know? It’s like I never mattered to him. Which doesn’t make any sense after everything he has done for me and my mom." You paused, taking a moment to collect your thoughts.

This whole... situation that began after your mom passed away left you angry, sad, and confused. You felt many emotions at once—overwhelmed, like a battle raging within you, where every feeling fought for dominance. It always ended with you in tears, wondering how things had spiraled to this point.

"I think it’s just funny how Mom always said he treated me like his own daughter. But now? He tells me we’ll practically be complete strangers after she’s gone. I mean, he has a point, but c'mon? How can you say that to someone you basically raised?" Your frustration spilled over as your voice broke slightly. "He was my father figure, my dad, for over a decade. And now? Now he’s acting like all those years never even happened. Like he's completely fine with calling me a stranger. It hurts. It seriously hurts," you looked up, trying to hold in your tears. You promised yourself not to cry about this again, yet, it always ends up like this.

Keeho watched you sadly, but more importantly, he listened. He didn’t excuse his father like others did with sentences such as, “Not everyone can handle that. You’re lucky he took care of you for this long,” or, “Oh, he’s still a young man. He needs to go out and find someone.” Comments like these only made you feel like a burden. But Keeho was the only one who truly understood your point of view, and for that, you were always grateful.

Once you calmed down a bit, you continued your rant. All those bottled-up emotions came rushing out in waves. Knowing yourself, you’d probably feel bad later for making Keeho sit through all of this—but that was a problem for future you.

"And let’s not forget that he found some chick not even two months after Mom died and married her five months into the relationship." You shook your head in disbelief.

Even though the words had come from your own mouth, you still couldn’t believe them. He and your mom had been in a happy marriage—everyone saw that. It was obvious, even to strangers. People could see how healthy their relationship was; it was almost sickening how sweet they were to each other. They had known each other since childhood, so their bond wasn’t just romantic—it was also built on a strong friendship. They always had each other’s backs, always went the extra mile for one another. And yet, with your mom’s death, all of that just... disappeared?

That didn’t sit right with you. And you had a theory about why that could have happened—a theory that, sadly, felt too accurate. You knew Keeho thought the same thing as you, though neither of you wanted to say it out loud because it wouldn’t change a thing.

You hunched over the table once again and took a sip of your coffee, which had already gone cold. Keeho, on the other hand, didn’t have to deal with this problem; his coffee was long gone—a complete contrast to you as a slow drinker, him being a quick one.

"Look, Y/N, I promise that as soon as I save enough money to buy a proper house, I’ll take you out of this nursing home." Finally, it was Keeho’s turn to speak. "I know you don’t deserve this. I know you don’t deserve to live... here." He eyed the room you were both in, and you did the same, even though you were here 24/7 and knew the room like the back of your hand.

Plain white walls with one small window overlooking empty fields and plain white furniture (two chairs were actually gray) that you had to buy yourself because this nursing home didn’t provide furniture for the rooms. And that was completely fine; you could at least make it to your liking. But buying furniture, even for one room, could get pretty expensive. You didn’t have money to throw around, especially when your stepdad—or ex-step dad—didn’t help with anything. He was the one who made you find a nursing home for yourself, in the first place.

To be honest, you were forced to find one because he casually told you that you had four months to get out of the house because he couldn’t take care of you anymore. Which you knew was total bullshit, but everyone around him bought it and actually praised him for doing it for so long. They never asked you about your opinion or how you felt. Only Keeho did.

"You get used to it," you shrugged. "I plan to put up some posters on the walls. I don’t know how I'll do it yet, but I’ll figure something out," you added, still eyeing the somehow depressing white walls.

"That doesn’t change the fact that you don’t deserve to live like this. To live here, in the middle of nowhere," Keeho insisted. "Have you ever been outside since you got here? No, right? Because there’s nowhere to go, and all around you are just old people you can’t have a proper conversation with." He looked you in the eyes, and the two of you held the gaze for a moment before you turned your attention back to your coffee, gripping the cup tightly.

"You know what?" Keeho said, pulling out his phone, which he had pocketed after receiving his father’s text earlier. "I won’t go. I know he’ll actually be happier being alone with his chick rather than having me around," he muttered while typing. "And... done." He set his phone down after a moment, having apparently responded to a few other messages as well.

"Are you sure about this?" You raised your eyebrows, not entirely convinced he was making the right decision. "I mean... I don’t want to hold you back from spending time with your dad," you admitted honestly.

Yes, Keeho and his dad didn’t have the best relationship, but he was still Keeho’s father, after all. You also knew Keeho rarely visited him unless it was something important—which it never was. His dad only invited him over for food or to "hang out" to get credit and admiration from others, pretending to care about his son when it suited him.

Keeho gave you a look of disbelief, as if wondering how you could even say such a thing. "I’d much rather be here with you, my little sister, than with my dad."

You searched his face, trying to see if he was lying, but his sincerity shone through, and his words warmed your heart. "You meant stepsister," you corrected him, even though you knew this term, after your mom's death, wasn’t also accurate anymore.

"Nope, I meant sister," he said firmly. "My dad may see you as a stranger now, but to me, you’ll always be my little sister."

Thanks to his sincerity, a small smile tugged at your lips. "Can you stop calling me little? I’m twenty-one already," you teased, shifting the topic slightly to avoid getting emotional again.

"But you’re still younger than me, lil’ sis," he said with a sweet, teasing smile.

To be honest? You weren’t complaining. That teasing was exactly what you needed—a distraction from all the heavy emotions swirling in your mind.

Suddenly, Keeho’s phone buzzed again with another notification. This time, you paid it no attention, focusing instead on your coffee, which was growing even colder in your hands. It was probably his dad pretending to be disappointed that Keeho wasn’t coming over, but honestly? You didn’t care.

"Do you want to stay overnight at my flat?" Keeho asked, catching you completely off guard.

"What?" You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure if you’d heard him correctly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said," he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you want to stay overnight at my flat? It shouldn’t be a problem if I take you out, right?" A playful smile appeared on his lips.

"Well, no," you said, shaking your head. "It’s a little sudden, but I just need to tell the caregivers here that I’ll be leaving and coming back tomorrow. That’s all," you explained.

"Perfect." He smacked the table with his hand, signaling it was time to go. "Just grab a jacket and whatever else you need. You still have everything at my place from the last sleepover forever ago," he reminded you, and you nodded.

"Could you please put the cups in the sink?" you asked. Keeho nodded, stood up, grabbed both cups, and placed them in the sink as you requested.

The kitchen was part of your room, so it only took him a few steps to complete the task. While Keeho waited, you released the brakes on your wheelchair and moved towards the drawers where you kept your belongings. You pulled out a light jacket (just in case it got chilly outside) and your backpack, which held your essentials. You also grabbed your phone and charger—items you never left behind.

"Ready?" Keeho asked, taking your backpack and jacket for you to keep your hands free.

"Yes." You nodded with a small smile, already feeling happy about leaving this place, even if it was just for a night. The two of you exited your room, you locked the door, and headed towards the elevator. Keeho pressed the button, and you waited.

"Which floor are the caregivers on?" he asked as the elevator doors closed once you were inside.

"The first one," you replied, and he pressed the button. "You can wait in your car while I talk to them, okay? It won’t take long, but they’ll probably have some questions," you added with a small chuckle.

"Okay, if you say so."

When the elevator dinged, signaling it had reached the first floor, you wheeled yourself out while Keeho continued to the ground floor. You made your way to the caregivers’ office, hoping someone would be there. Fortunately, luck was on your side—it was one of your favorite caregivers.

You explained your plans to her, and she was genuinely thrilled to hear about them. Her excitement warmed your heart. She asked a few questions, mostly out of curiosity about where you were going and who you’d be with, since you rarely left your room. In fact, you never left. There was simply nothing to do, either in the nursing home or outside, so you didn’t see the point in going out.

Once that was done, you made your way back to the elevator, went to the ground floor, and found Keeho waiting for you, leaning casually against his car.

"How does it feel to be outside?" Keeho asked smugly, grinning as he opened the passenger door for you.

"Boring," you shrugged as you moved from your wheelchair into the car seat. You were never much of an outdoors person anyway.

"Oh, come on. Can you try being a little positive?" he teased, shaking his head in mock exasperation before closing the door.

He walked to the trunk, loaded your wheelchair inside, and finally settled into the driver’s seat. Keeho started the car and pulled away from the nursing home. As the building vanished behind you, you felt a huge sense of relief — it felt like something heavy had finally been lifted from your chest, even if it was just for a few hours. It was interesting how much lighter and happier you already felt, knowing you wouldn’t be there for at least a little while.

The ride to Keeho’s flat took about an hour. Yeah, you could say it’s not that far; you could travel that by yourself, but it takes an hour by car. If you wanted to take the bus, it would take at least two hours, and from the nursing home, there’s only one bus that runs twice a day. You didn’t want to stress about that, nor were you exactly thrilled about traveling for that long, both there and back. Plus, the bus tickets weren’t exactly cheap either.

During the drive, the two of you talked about random topics to pass the time and even had a mini singing session to the songs playing on the radio.

When you arrived at the apartment complex where Keeho lived, he unloaded your wheelchair from the trunk while you unfastened your seatbelt and opened the door. Once you were back in your wheelchair, Keeho grabbed your backpack and jacket from the car, locked it, and the two of you headed inside the building.

When you reached the door to his flat, Keeho unlocked it and let you in first. You were immediately hit by the familiar smell of apple and cinnamon — Keeho’s favorite candle scent. 

To avoid being in Keeho’s way, you moved into the living room, where a big surprise awaited you. At first, it gave you a bit of a heart attack, but you quickly realized it was just Keeho’s dumb friends, who had gradually become your friends too, and you cherished them dearly.

"Y/N!" five boys shouted in cheerful unison the moment they saw you. All of them rushed over to greet you, each giving you a warm hug.

Well, except for Theo, who was also very excited to see you after a long time, but he was smart enough to wait for his turn to hug you, so he wouldn’t get squished by his friends while they were trying to group-hug you.

You didn’t even have time to properly take a look at the living room, which had been turned into a cozy haven by the boys, but there would surely be time to appreciate it later.

"Hi, guys," you said, still a little in shock (though, of course, you hugged them back), happy to see them regardless. "What are you all doing here?" you asked, curious.

"Keeho texted us that you’d be here overnight, so we decided to organize a proper sleepover," Jiung answered enthusiastically. "We got loads of movies, especially horror ones, fluffy blankets, and tons of snacks and drinks," he added with a big grin, clearly proud of what they’d pulled together while you and Keeho were on your way.

You looked up to see Keeho entering the living room, which was way too small for all of you, but no one seemed to care. After all, it was about having a good time with your friends, not about how small Keeho’s flat was. Keeho glanced at you with a small smile; no words were needed. Yet, you wanted to say thank you, to somehow show him your gratitude, but you couldn’t, because you were suddenly lifted into the air.

"What the—" you looked around and quickly spotted the culprit who had picked you up from your wheelchair. "Intak! What did I tell you about randomly picking me up? You can’t just do that!" you scolded him in a nagging tone but couldn’t hide the smile creeping onto your face.

"I know, I know," he acknowledged with a nod as he carried you towards the couch. "But you have to understand, I missed you way too much and just couldn’t resist holding you in my arms." He flashed you a sweet smile, complete with puppy eyes that always worked on you. That’s why whenever the boys wanted something from you (or did something that might have made you mad), they would use Intak and his puppy eyes to soften you up and get their way.

"Sure," you said, playfully rolling your eyes, though you couldn’t help letting out a chuckle, which made Intak smile even wider. "What a romantic you are."

"Me? Always." As soon as he said it, you heard fake gagging noises from the other boys, especially the younger ones, which only made you laugh; how much you’d missed this.

By the time your conversation ended, Intak had already reached the couch and carefully set you down. You ended up right in the middle, with the best view and easy access to all the snacks and drinks the boys had brought.

"Hey, I was supposed to be the one sitting on one of her sides!" Intak complained, frowning when he noticed Soul and Jongseob, the two youngest of the group, already sitting on either side of you with a big blanket draped over all of you.

"Hm, yikes," said Jongseob, barely paying attention to Intak’s whining as he grabbed some chips from the table. "Sounds like a you problem," he looked at Intak with a triumphant grin, and Soul quickly nodded in agreement.

"These kids, really," Intak muttered to himself, turning toward the armchair right next to the couch. "Seriously?" he said, frustration kicking in.

Theo was already lounging in the armchair, his legs draped over one armrest and a bowl of popcorn balanced in his lap. Without a word, Theo simply shrugged, clearly having no intention of moving. Intak groaned and turned back towards the couch, ready to claim a spot near your legs, only to find Jiung and Keeho already seated there.

"This is impossible," he sighed dramatically, collapsing in defeat on the floor in front of the table — the only space left for him to occupy.

All of you (except for Intak, of course) burst into small fits of laughter at his misfortune. But the moment passed quickly as Jiung pressed play on the TV remote, starting the first of many movies for the night.

With Soul and Jongseob snuggled up on either side of you, your arms wrapped protectively around them under the blanket, you let out a slow exhale through your nose. A wave of contentment washed over you as you relaxed into the moment, savoring it to the fullest.

[quotergirl19]

I’m a firm believer that sometimes when you’re in a relationship you don’t see it for what it is, and that applies to any type of relationship, familial, romantic or platonic.

Sometimes friendship grows toxic or one-sided, your family treats you like a child even when you’re a matured adult, or a casual acquaintance evolves into something deeper and turns romantic. But something has to happen to make one or both parties step back, reassess it and come back with new perspectives.

This absolutely applies to Colin and Penelope They’ve been in each other’s lives for so long that in many ways they still see each other exactly the way they did when they first met as kids.

Their relationship began for Colin with Penelope being his sister’s friend who became such a fixture in the Bridgerton household that he began to see her like another sibling or cousin, she has been in his life forever as an honorary Bridgerton.

For Penelope, Colin has always been confident, outgoing and kind. He’s the only boy she has felt comfortable around because she’s shy and her interactions with men have been extremely limited. We never see her speak directly to her own father, just as she warms to her cousin Jack but she discovers he’s untrustworthy and gentlemen at parties don’t even acknowledge her.

The only male who has consistently been in her life and proven to be kind to her or paid her any positive attention is Colin. Of course she has always adored him, he’s practically the only man in the world who has ever acknowledged or been good to her.

But hearing what Colin said and realizing that he isn’t perfect, forces Pen to take him off the pedestal she’s always had him on and consider what will become of her if she continues to exist in her fantasy that Colin will miraculously love and choose her as his wife. She knows she has to meet more men and she’s going to focus on stepping out of her comfort zone (in the shadows) and into the light.

We know Colin & Pen have grown closer since writing to each other because that’s how their friendship actually developed. Prior to that Eloise had claimed Penelope and she and Colin were far less familiar, it’s clear in how once Polin are more friendly, Eloise keeps interrupting their conversations and claiming Penelope to herself.

It’s important to note that Penelope basically bestowed upon Colin all the positive attributes of the men of fantasy, possibly from romantic novels and books she’s read and maybe that’s why Portia told her to stop reading because it would confuse her thoughts. Because Colin was still very much just a young boy in season 1 and hadn’t actually cultivated in himself what Penelope sees in him. She saw his potential and not who he truly was but we come to find out that her image of him is what he aspires to be.

That’s why Colin mentioned how Penelope’s letters encouraged him, that’s why he’s different with her in season 2. Penelope’s letters were likely full of positivity, she built up his confidence so he could be the man she sees when she looks at him.

Keep in mind Colin is young and desperately wants to be a man with purpose, the sort of man his father was (but his father died when Colin was like 11 so he doesn’t know how to become the man he wishes he was. So Colin has been doing his best to get by on flirting and charm but he wants to be taken seriously now.

So while on his travels, away from his family and his mother, relying on himself and free to act as an adult for the first time, he chose adventures and trying new things and spends time thinking about who he is. Cue Penelope’s letters and positive image of him as a brave, heroic, capable gentleman.

We know that when he left town he was broken hearted and his confidence had taken a major hit. Penelope’s letters were vital in getting him through something difficult that was also humiliating. It’s begun to dawn on him that she isn’t just his sisters friend, she is someone who genuinely cares about him, understands, respects and appreciates him for all the things that other people might mock, overlook or take for granted. That is why she’s special to him. It’s the same reason he’s been special to her, she thinks he sees her, and to an extent he does. But the way he sees her has not changed enough by season 2 which is why he has her in the friend zone box.

Penelope taking herself out of his life by ignoring his letters and/or distancing herself from Colin to focus on her own future is the closest thing that she as a young woman, can get to Colin’s travels because it’s her way of getting to know herself so she can become the woman she aspires to be.

This is Penelope’s time for self reflection and figuring out what she really wants and needs which is going to change everything because she has been surrounded by a lot of negativity. Sisters who pick on her for having bad skin or being chubby, a mother who’s constantly silencing her and hasn’t put any effort into helping her attract suitors.

Taking action that will change her life for the better is an extremely important step for Pen. But old habits are hard to break and she’s made herself small and quiet for so long she is bound to struggle with confidence. So where she helped Colin through letters because her writing is the way she expresses herself best (and the only way most people actually seem listen to her), Colin will help her in person once he’s had enough time and distance to realize how much he wants and needs her in his life.

Once Penelope finally embraces the confident woman she has become deep down (the one who comes out in her writing), more and more people will take notice of how remarkable she is. Because at her best Pen is kind, funny, loyal, and she protects the people she cares about.

Colin is going to be smitten once the more matured, confident man he has become over the last several months finally meets the mature, confident, emboldened woman Penelope has become. And these two newer versions of Penelope and Colin are perfect for each other.