#but then again I'm mostly into women and femmes so

[birt-art]

It is SO funny to me that Josh O'Connor, this 5/10 straight(?) white british boy most famous for playing baby King Charles, keeps having gay auteur filmmakers look at him and go "you are gay and also my new muse"

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! last anon here again. i won't go over all your advice here, and there's some i disagree with, but i have found it helpful and insightful as a whole, so thank you. i don't know if you actually wanted clarification on these things, but i figured it would be worth providing in case you genuinely wanted it.

straps as female disidentification - i do see it as different from other sex aids; it's partially about not imposing man/woman sex dynamics on sex between women, and also that as part of recovering from trans identity i've been encouraged to disengage with any practices, thoughts, or self-beliefs that represent false consciousness/male identification, and that includes a desire to have a penis/penetrate women/take the male role, and replace that with meditation and mindfulness. unfortunately i suck at meditation so i haven't gotten anywhere. i see it more as a behavioural problem than an object problem; it's unhealthy because it's a maladaptive coping mechanism about reality; i don't have a penis and can never have one and pretending i do during intimacy is hurting a theoretical sex partner.

female infantilization - this is about the bush thing; attraction to shaved vulvas is dysfunctional and unnatural.

being put off women's bodies - again this is a dysphoria thing mostly. i like how pretty much all women's bodies look, particularly femmes, and before radfem stuff i mostly just felt horny seeing nude women, but being in an environment that's very focused on the importance of reproductive organs and secondary sex characteristics to female identity has involuntarily caused me to fixate on this; when i see a woman naked i end up thinking about her uterus and the size of her breasts and her hips in relation to passing; i know that things like testosterone/hysterectomies/double masectomies/binding are really unhealthy for you physically and psychologically now, so seeing a woman's body makes me uncomfortable now because i just feel a kind of despair that if she has big breasts or big hips she'll never be able to pass for male without hurting herself and if she has small breasts or hips she got lucky with natural androgyny and she's wasting it, either way neither her or me have any way out of this and we're female forever. which is not very arousing.

once again, thank you for your advice. it's definitely given me a lot to think about (and read). i appreciate you hearing me out.

I'm actually stoked for a response, because these clarifications are very illuminating and genuinely so saddening to read.

that entire paragraph about disavowing the strap is genuinely tragic to me, as an advocate that people should just fuck however they want to fuck. you'd think if womanhood was such an innate and unchangeable thing then a fake dong wouldn't have the power to somehow impose manhood in a relationship between women, but I guess the strap is more powerful than I realized. I would love to know if this applies to fingering, given that you can't really argue that fingers are specific to any gender, or women who use straps to peg their male partners.

being told to meditate instead of want to fuck women is so funny, it's really giving 15th century nunnery.

you may not have been born with a penis but it is just literally a factual reality that you could have on if you wanted; regardless of what radfems think of it, phalloplasty is a very real surgery that can in fact produce a sexually functional penis that many people are extremely satisfied with.

okay sure super normal to fixate on someone's uterus.

I do actually very seriously need to correct this part: testosterone/hysterectomies/double mastectomies/binding are not unhealthy. they're healthcare, and the people who benefit from them - which, reminder, is not only trans people - tend to experience tremendous boosts to their physical and mental health because of it. there's nothing radical at all about opposing people's rights to determine what they do with their own bodies, and between that and the hyperfixation on reproductive organs you sound /this/ close to explaining why women shouldn't be allowed to get abortions.

in the politest way possible if looking at women makes you sad because it reminds you of your own dysphoria, you need to get out of radfem spaces and start hanging with some trans people who can help you figure some stuff out and help you envision a future where you don't fear your own body and sexuality.

[rassicas]

hello! sorry if youve already been asked something like this before, but I’m curious about the japanese gender nuance when it comes to acht. Mostly because I know the dedf1sh blurb in haikara walker uses “彼女” to describe them, and they appear pretty femme, but they use “boku” in their dialogue in side order. (And of course they use they/them in the English localization, not she/her.)

I know only a little japanese so most nuance about this topic would be lost on me… I was wondering if you might have some more insight? Is there anything related/more telling in how they speak in their dev diaries as well?

I took a quick look on twitter and some articles to see what some JP users are saying about Acht's gender... The consensus I see is that because of their introduction post on twitter (and aforementioned Haikara Walker blurb) using 彼女 kanojo, or "she", Acht is a ボクっ娘 bokukko. this is a slang term for a young woman that uses the traditionally masculine first person pronoun "boku". not that there Aren't women that use "boku" in real life but it's a more of a manga/anime trope... I can't say I'm extremely knowledgeable on this, but it seems how femininely/masculinely these ボクっ娘 characters act can vary. another take i saw was that, because in the game itself Acht's gender is very much ambiguous (and even because they use they/them pronouns in english), that leaves their gender more open to interpretation. Again, I only took a quick look, but seems like a similar thing is happening on the JP side as there is on the english side: do we count that one tweet from 2018 or not? I honestly think it's more valid for that tweet/haikara walker info to be counted on the JP side.... regardless, there is something CLEARLY gender-nonconforming happening with Acht. While this wasn't in your ask, I wanna address a related question I've seen pop up a few times in my ask box and around online: Because of that 2018 info, should we still use "she" for Acht in english? Honestly...I don't think so. I think in this case, we can't use what's happening on the Japanese side to determine whether we can use "she" for Acht because there is a gender presentation happening there that doesn't fully translate, and "they/them" is how that was chosen to be localized once their personality and way of speaking became known. Plus "she" hasn't been used in english officially since 2018 and it wouldn't be the first time a Splatoon NA post from that long ago was quietly retconned. Remember how Ikkan and Warabi were renamed to Quinn and Mashup? Since the english version is subject to these kinds of retranslations while the japanese version isn't, that's part of why I think it's more fair for JP users to still consider that old tweet/haikara walker blurb as valid.

got a little side tracked from the main question but i hope that helps!

[the-everqueen]

Definitely curious about the genderflip Sandman fic 👀

SAME. as in, this is only a concept on the back burner of my brain because i haven't really worked out a satisfying answer to the central q of the thing which is: what does a gender flip DO to these characters?

because here's the thing. i think 99.9% of the time a genderswap au is unnecessary and boring. (not to mention essentialist as hell.) boys have pussies, girls have dicks, people of all genders are intersex, etc. some of us notgirls and failguys just want to vicariously experience our fave getting his clit sucked or her prostate massaged. i personally hate fics that go "but what if these [cis] dudes were [cis] GIRLS" and then proceed to strip the characters of everything that makes them compelling, that makes THEM, because at that point you might as well just flesh out your OCs and maybe interrogate your internalized misogyny and transphobia while you're at it.

anyways.

in the case of sandman, i am (transparently, obviously) curious about what happens if the Corinthian is not designed to be (read as) a man. in the comix, he very much embodies the fears and risks associated with gayness in the 90s (the AIDS epidemic, the dual violence of the closet and/or being outed, the culture around cruising, intersections of race and class with queerness in U.S. urban areas, etc). in the show that's subtly shifted to be a broader umbrella of queerness as well as a very 21st century anxiety around surveillance/public vs private that also taps into a cultural fascination with serial killers. in both cases, him reading as white, middle-aged U.S. man is a CRUCIAL part of what he signifies. he looks like (and takes advantage of being) someone with a lot of social privilege, across multiple categories. no one is going to question why he's in a fancy hotel, a conference room, a seedy bar, a suburb. OBVIOUSLY that changes if any one of these categories changes. i'm thinking about how and also what that means.

(the dreaming spinoff comix tried to do a Thing with a female Corinthian: while Coco spends a year as a real boy, a trans woman named Echo takes his place in the Dreaming. the spinoff handles Echo...really poorly. [i wrote a whole paragraph here trying to distill her arc but it's tangential to this post so suffice to say: it was Bad.] Echo is posed as this "femme fatale" type because i guess if the Corinthian is a woman, she'd also have to be sexy and alluring to the (heterosexist) male gaze. imho this was a cop-out, but then again...what about that spinoff wasn't.)

on some level i'm not sure the Corinthian could ever be anything besides the Corinthian, if that makes sense. as in, if you change anything about him, maybe then he ceases to be the Corinthian and becomes something else entirely. Dream can take different forms (and Overture has a femme!Dream) because stories can take different forms across cultures and times and species. but the Corinthian is intrinsically tied up in humanity and its biomythic nature. and what we think of as Human, as Sylvia Wynter reminds us, is very much tied up in narratives around identity including race, gender, and class.

at the same time my id absolutely wants a butch lesbian Corinthian who uses he/him pronouns. mostly because lesbian and wlw sex STILL gets dismissed or sanitized or erased or pathologized, even though queer women remain subject to state, police, and domestic violence at higher rates than their straight and/or cis counterparts. (also yes i'm counting my trans hermanas y primas, t*rfs can fuck right off.) but also because i'm a fagdyke with religious trauma who relates very hard to god's failed masterpiece.

[nereidyke]

hey! I’ve just recently accepted (aka connected all the dots) the fact that I’m a femme but I wanted to get some other femmes takes on how they identify with it to help me better understand it. What are some of the most important aspects of ur identity and what resources/books would u recommend for someone with less knowledge? 💕💕

yes ofc! i won't claim to be the arbiter of knowledge on this topic, but my femme identity wasn't something i had considered until i started dating my butch 3 years ago. for me, femme is dichotomized by my relationship to butches, ie a mutual respect and protection not found within heterosexuality. this is going to be a little long because there is much to say on this topic, apologies in advance (i like writing about and studying gender).

femininity in itself is a system that is naturalized to the convention of woman, sociologically speaking, and is indeed a form of gender conformity for people who identify with or are perceived as women (ofc this varies when accounting for the nuances of transfeminity and race, but generally speaking femininity as a construct is falsely attributed to "woman"). so in a sense, the gender conformity, as in historical accounts of butchness and femmeness, is itself the protection that i offer to my butch. it allows my butch access to a social system that he, as a masculine person perceived by society to be a woman, would not otherwise have access to.

i mostly read radical feminist texts, and to understand the system of femininity, the naturalization of gender as a construct, and the place that lesbianism has in a heterosexual society, i would recommend reading lesbian second wave author monique wittig. the category of sex and one is not born a woman are two essays by her that i recommend to everyone because they explain heterosexuality and how it constructed the conventions of "man" and "woman" around itself and embedded that into the fabric of western society well.

speaking personally, existing as a femme with my butch is comforting because i am allowed to explore femininity in a context removed from heterosexuality, removed from men. femininity is a performance, and when i perform it for my butch it feels right. i don't claim that my "version" of femininity is really entirely different from a heterosexual woman's or a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man, but the performance of it works in opposition to male ownership over my body. i am performing it for a lesbian, a butch, not a man, and that is what makes being femme fundamentally different from women performing femininity for men.

it all comes down to that performance, and specifically who the audience of that performance is. again, at the end of the day, i am gender conforming because women are expected to be feminine in their actions, appearance, and choices, but that gender conformity is a privilege i use as a protection for my butch and other butches i am friends with. i struggled with femininity when i was younger, i never performed womanhood to the degree that i was meant to due to the fact that i am a lesbian (and if you read one is not born a woman she goes into excellent detail on the inherent degendering of lesbians), and that is something that informs my choices and the femininity that i perform.

being degendered by heterosexual patriarchy, and choosing to conform to some of its expectations while rebelling through the act of being a lesbian and through performing femininity for a masculine figure who is not a man is the most important aspect of the femme identity to me. it almost in a sense adds insult to injury for heterosexual expectations. as i said before, femme is dichotomized by butch and the protection offered to butches through gender conformity that they don't have access to, so another really important part of my identity as a femme is how i can use that identity to help and protect butches.

i hope this helped!! like i said i'm not as much of an expert in femme writing (because honestly i've struggled to find my own resources) but i do recommend reading feminist texts first and foremost, because understanding the lesbian gender category in general is paramount understanding how femininity functions sociologically, and how adhering to it is a privilege not offered to certain members of the lesbian community.

[desultory-novice]

hi! I'm sorry to bother you and send an ask about this, but I heard somewhere that Magolor uses gender neutral pronouns in Japanese and the masculine pronouns are just a localization thing but Idk if this is actually true or just a rumor? Thank you!

So..."gender" in Japanese is complicated. Especially as times change, because Japanese was, at various points in history, a massively genderized language (I don't know if I'm using the right word, but basically BIG divide between "women's speech" and "men's speech.") But there was also a variety of shifts throughout time as well, of both gendered language and other language-as-indicators-of-age-social-class-etc-etc. Now that LGBTQA+ rights are becoming more acknowledged/accepted across the globe, that spurred even more changes in how language is used in Japan by the different genders.

To make things EVEN MORE COMPLICATED, these "indicator words" are often applied to (sometimes comical) excess in fiction! Thus, you will get characters who talk with ~obsessive politeness~ or use pronouns that haven't been in regular use in centuries in order to appear more quirky or present themselves in a more blatant fashion than anyone in the real world would ever do. And sometimes the old pronoun divide is resurrected as an "easy" way to determine a character's identity. (And sometimes, it's a subversion!!)

...Phew.

So, now that you have that brief(?) introduction on massive language shifts that are still occurring, let's talk Magolor. Magolor uses the pronoun "boku" spelled 「ボク」 (in katakana) in Japanese. If you imagined Japanese pronouns all on a line, with "Masculine" on one side and "Feminine" on the other, "boku" leans masculine. Yes, it is used by women and femme sometimes. Same as "watashi" (which in the modern era is sometimes seen as leanining on the feminine side, although that may be shifting back and/or be one of those fiction-influenced stereotypes mentioned above) is used by men and masc.

But, at first glance, that would put Magolor as a character who fits relatively comfortably into the "is a guy" camp. Except... here's where these kinds of questions get complicated.

Because many Kirby characters are considered (officially!!) to have [No Confirmed Gender] (And this is irregardless of the pronouns they use in English OR Japanese.)

Not to say that they are all non-binary (though they very well could be!) but they could, as far as we know, be literally be ANY gender.

Amongst the many ways we can interpret this is that:

1) They all have secret genders that we just don't know yet!

2) Surprise! They all have the exact same gender as their English version pronouns suggest! Are those localizers psychic or what?

3) We are kindly being left with the choice to decide their gender on our own for ourselves, much like we are with their backstories!

4) Most of them are weird aliens and may see gender in a way that we can't even envision yet and so we're just using placeholders.

5) We're not supposed to put any importance on their Earthly gender and this is the creative team's way of saying that politely.

6) Any of a dozen other options I didn't list here!

Kirby and Meta Knight are among those who have not set gender. (Again, regardless of the fact that both are - mostly - addressed with "he" and various other masculine words in the English text.)

And I believe Magolor is another character who uses he/him/wizard/man-ager (ohoho! don't mind my bad joke!) but is not explicitly stated in any material (?) to be male.

...On the other side (damn me for being a libra) this is NOT to say he definitely isn't a guy. He could be! And in light of any evidence toward the contrary, and also as participants in the English-speaking side of the fandom, there's nothing wrong with continuing to write/treat Magolor as a man (or trans-man or identifying as male)

[fuck-customers]

Pls tell me someone else has been through something similar.

TL;DR: Paid for a strangers groceries. Got asked out by him through his friend. Denied coz Idk why he did that & uh... he was deff not femme presenting so not my preference (& I still feel bad about it lmao). 🥲 #rip

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

I don't hate this customer, but I constantly wonder if anyone has had a shared experience like this so if you have, PLEASE leave it in the comments (or reblogs).

(*Shared experience as in... a stranger/customer asking you out for something you did for them while on the clock or something you showed them at work that's a work perk.)

When I was a cashier at the american grocery store "English en Español", I was in a low income area. I constantly had cis men hitting on me for no valid reason, as I'm not the socially accepted aesthetic for "attractive" (probably because it was a small town so there wasn't much selection & I live in cities so I dressed/acted differently than most? Idk. I'm a transman, pre-t & pre-surgery, but present as femme for safety reasons, espec in small towns). I often didn't notice until coworkers told me after they had left or until the man, himself, told me straight up. It was common enough that we had a signal bc apparently I suck at picking up on people hitting on me. NO ONE working that night signaled for this one, despite several of my coworkers seeing this.

So needless to say, I did NOT see this coming.

There was a guy with two girls checking out their groceries at my register. It was late at night, close to closing. When it came to the guys portion of the groceries, he split things up to afford everything. (I feel that lol.) His card declined on the last part. He was maybe $25ish(?) short (idr exact amount). He asked to take off a few things & I was like "Wait, wait." & jumped around & slid my own card & paid for his stuff. At that time (about a decade ago) my finances were mostly stable. I was doing what I could for anyone who needed it. It wasn't abnormal for me to pay for people whose groceries got declined by under $50 if I had it that month. I was stuck at a grocery store all day & people quite literally need food. It's the *least* I could do while financially stable, yknow? He wasn't someone I singled out... just someone else I managed to have the privilege of helping.

But this guy looked like he was both a) about to cry & b) incredibly embarrassed. He barely whispered thank you to me before grabbing everything & RUNNING out the door. His two friends thanked me profusely & followed him out *normally*. Lol.

I didn't have anyone else to check out coz it was almost 10pm at that point, so I was just vibing at my register. Maybe 5 whole minutes later (yes, THAT LONG) one of the girls the guy was with comes back in & runs up to my register.

I didn't say anything coz I was confused. Why is everyone running? Why does everyone have so much energy? Jeeze. 💀

She said, quickly & excitedly, "Remember the guy you just saw that you paid for his groceries?"

Me: "👁👄👁... yeah?"

Her: "Well, he wanted to know if you wanted to go out with him. Like, on a date."

Me, confused, not knowing what to say, stalling: "Uhhhhhhm."

In my mind, I'm thinking: 'Why would he want that? Because I paid for his groceries? Does he think I'm one of those dommes that gives money to their subs? Oh no. I'm a sub, not a dom! Maybe he just thinks I'm nice? Oh god, he's gonna find out I'm NOT nice if we date... but I really only like femme presenting people. How tf do I say that in a small town where I don't want that to get out? I don't know what's happening here, but-"

Me, without hesitation: "Sorry, but ...I like women?"

Her: "👁👄👁... Was that a question?"

Me: "...No?"

Her: "... 👁👄👁 ...Okay, I'll tell him. Thanks!"

Again, with the running. Running out the door. To the car. They looked about the same age as me. Early 20s. Like... where are they getting this ENERGY??? 😭

He NEVER came into the location I worked at again while I was there for 3 years lmao. The two girls did. Ik he lived in the area. This was before the time of grocery delivery. So uh... I feel awful lol.

I also feel awful because I never really say no to anyone in that context or break up with anyone. I always force *them* to say no or break up with me so that I don't have to do it. 😅 I'd never in a million years lead anyone on coz that's completely unfair, but I really just need the other person to do it & I couldn't in that situation so it still sits in the back of my mind like, "oh my god what have I done" kind of catastrophic thoughts spiraling from there. Meanwhile, he probably doesn't even remember I exist. 💀

So rip to me, I guess.

Please tell me someone else has had some kind of interaction where a stranger/customer has asked you out or tried to get with you based on something you did (or did for them) on the clock or a work perk you showed them/they saw. 😭 Pls make me feel less alone in this lmao.

Also make sure to give the follow up tea! Did you go out? Did it work? Are you married? ☕️ 🦊

When I was 19 I gave a lady a coupon for money off (I'm 50 I forget how much it was for.) and this lady tried to hook me up with her 13yo daughter. I dunno if that counts.

-Rodney

[devoted-chaste]

The end of devoted-chaste

I probably won't be posting any more captions.

I started seeing a gender identity therapist and eventually realized that I'm trans (AMAB trans femme). Lol. Definitely not all men who like chastity are trans women in denial, but it turns out I was.

Since I admitted this to myself, my mental health has gotten a LOT better. I've struggled with porn addiction since I was a teenager (yes, including chasity captions), and that problem has basically evaporated. I used to NEED to come on here and masturbate, but that's all gone now. I feel so free.

Again, lots of cis men struggle with porn addiction too, and I'm not saying that they're trans in denial. What we have in common is using porn to cope with a difficult situation somewhere else in life.

Over my many years on NSFW Tumblr I've seen a lot of my favorite blogs deactivate. So, I think this is more common than we realize: using porn to cope, it becomes an addiction, binge, purge, deactivate. The whole guilt/shame cycle.

If you are going through a really hard time, and using porn to cope, I really feel for you, because I've been there for so many years.

I can't tell you what to do about it, because it totally depends on your individual circumstance.

But I can say, for me:

Purging my porn never worked. It just made me collect more when I relapsed.

I was using porn to avoid confronting something difficult. Once I confronted that thing, and started working through it, my addiction went away.

I thought therapy was a stupid, self-indulgent thing rich people did to rationalize their guilt. I was wrong about that. It's helped me lot. However, I do not recommend BetterHelp. Try to find a therapist through your health insurance or psychologytoday.com.

I still think chastity and male submission is great!

I kept up posting for a while because I think men (and boys) in chasity are cute, and should be encouraged. I hope you all find partners who accept and love you for who you truly are. Just remember that real chastity is not about your kinks or your cock or your pleasure ;) it's about collaborating with your partner to mold you into a better lover for HER, even if she is mostly vanilla at heart.

[its--deandraa]

There’s something that doesn’t feel right about this post but I’m having a hard time putting it into words, I think for some people this kind of statement can ring true, but I don’t think saying that “periods do more harm than good” applies to everyone, I have a lot more to say on this subject…

I know I shouldn't be putting my two cents on a post from twitter since it's where most brain dead takes spark aflame, but this one bothered me quite a bit and I couldn't figure out why, but when something bothers me, I keep picking at it like a scab until it bleeds again and I figure out where I got the scab in the first place. Saying a statement that periods are causing harm makes people feel like there is something wrong with themselves and in a society thats already violently hateful towards women and femme bodies and any traits associated with those bodies, this doesn't help. I'm not here to romanticize having a period and because I know there's a lot of people with serious medical issues in which getting your uterus removed is totally valid and totally necessary depending on your choice/situation. But I want to acknowledge that in our capitalist society were always in a rush, things need to get done fast, hustle hustle hustle, and having a period (one that is not painful or along side other health issues) forces those to slow down, rest, and be in tune with our body, even if we don't want too, which is the complete opposite. Our current society is built around a cisgender males body which runs on a 24 hr cycle where as people who menstruate have different phases (follicular, luteal and ovulation) and run on a monthly cycle, which is deemed inconvenient and not efficient. I know of a lot people who mention that having a period has been a good indicator for their health and hormones, a reply under this tweet mentioned how this was a privileged take and that people who menstruate can't even have access to period products in developing countries, another said "now what?" Exactly, now what? Even if that statement was true, what are we supposed to do? A lot of women face mistreatment in healthcare, a lot of women are facing poverty and are not even able to afford healthcare, and if periods were causing us harm then we would all probably be lining up to get hysterectomies instead of buying period products that aren't even FDA regulated. Period pain has been used against us and weaponized against us in order to further dismiss pain that is associated with being a women/femme. This kind of statement, while it may ring true for some people, further teaches people to hate a natural occurring function of their bodies and further upholds this hateful misogynist society we live in.

Another side to note, the replies to this tweet are mostly people talking about their experiences of either getting a surgery or birth control, and never having to deal with their periods again which is great for them and I’m genuinely happy for them, and I’m glad I live in a era where people with periods have access to healthcare that gives them a better quality of life, but with all the good experiences, they are also agreeing with the original statement which in my opinion lacks empathy and compassion for those still having painful periods and are further re-enforcing this hate towards something naturally occurring for majority of the population, and even animals!

I’m not sure why I felt compelled to write this much about this topic, maybe its coming from a place of anger or maybe it’s the fact I’m a women who has done so much work on their body issues and also currently on my period (hehe! 🤗) but it’s been really frustrating to see women promote hating themselves just because their bodies don’t naturally function within a society that hasn’t considered them in the first place.

[owlbelly]

i have some very nice, full-length, in my opinion not-super-femme skirts that i usually wear in the summer mostly for comfort reasons, though i haven't worn any of them this year at all because of being unusually gender exhausted

but today i was like fuck it. it's very hot out. i'm just running errands. cis people probably won't even talk to me

so of course the very first thing that happens is a woman in the store says "MISS? oh i'm sorry, is that your pronoun?" :') & i go "sure, whatever" (miss/misses/missself) & wave it off because again, exhausted, & she then proceeds to pitch me her entire female empowerment scented candle business plan & ask what i think of it like i'm a one-person lady focus group

& this is not even a one-off kind of thing. i am so glaringly GNC that when i do wear anything even remotely feminine-coded it's like there's suddenly a flashing neon sign above my head saying "GIVE ME SOME REINFORCEMENT, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING!?"

like...my day-to-day look is so unnoticeable, people go "oh another ugly dyke" & their eyes just slide right off me, and then i put on a skirt & women are falling over each other to tell me how brave i am for shaving my head or how they want to make sure their she-candles speak to my unusual but valid goddess spirit

[ellaenchanting]

Come See Me: Beguiled 2023!

I'm really excited to be attending and presenting at @beguiledcon this year Here's what I'm teaching with descriptions:

FRIDAY-

Hypno- to -Go with @the-inquisition-scmh : Fun class on improvising a scene on the fly. I'll mostly be demo-bottoming this one but hope to contribute ideas on the fly with a very fun and knowledgeable co-presenter. If you like shenanigans, this is a good class for you. Full description here

Sapphic Soiree- (the event formerly known as the Femme Flirt)- I'm cohosting this with the lovely @daja-the-hypnokitten . This is an evening event designed to give a space for ladies to flirt with ladies. We do not gender police and all that identify as women/femme/in that section of the gender spectrum are welcome (including butch women, trans women, non-binary folks on the femme side, etc.) Full description here

SATURDAY-

Hold your Applause: Coping with Imposter Syndrome- Class exploring how imposter syndrome and other common confidence issues can impact us as hypnotists/subjects/content creators/community members. We'll also be discussing some helpful ideas and techniques for building confidence and coping with imposter syndrome when/if it happens. Full description Class-Related Resource List

SUNDAY-

(hopeful uncon) Smut to Scene: Converting Mcstories to Actual Scene Ideas. This class is designed as a group brainstorm on different ways we might convert hot stories to scenes. The 2 stories I'm hoping to discuss are this robot play microfic by Double Grinch ( @doublegrinch ): and Flesh for Fantasy by Jukebox (@jukeboxemcsa ) . You'll get a lot more out of the class if you're able to read these ahead of time- they're both pretty short! (Although you can also come if you haven't read them). In class, we'll be brainstorming basic scene ideas based on these stories keeping in mind logistics, ethics, what makes them hot, etc- so definitely bring your ideas!

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and teaching again this year. Please let me know if you have questions about any of these classes/events!

[kyntypes]

Continuing my last post a little bit.

I have been diagnosed with Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's interesting, because I just never considered it before. I think I'm just quirky with anxiety, dismissive avoidant attachment, and deeply personal issues that cause the illusion of autism. I don't believe I have a specific diagnosis for much of anything besides PMDD and possibly clinical depression. I know I may be definitely neurodivergent, though. I don't like admitting it because I feel like I'm not "neurodivergent enough", but I believe I show signs of my brain working differently compared to other folks.

I know masking is a thing, and honestly, I've already obsessively researched autism and lost sleep over the thought of my diagnosis being wrong. I don't need to look into something I already know I'm going to obsess over again. It was actually a terrible time. Ever since the day after I got diagnosed in April 2022 until around March or April 2023, I spent a lot of my time obsessively researching autism and everything about it in order to figure out if I was really autistic, or just faking it. Wouldn't recommend it whatsoever, that absolutely demolished me mentally. My mind wouldn't stop getting stuck on the thought of ASD. It sorta fit, but not really, lol.

I just stopped saying I was autistic altogether, even though I relate to some things autistic folks experience. Like sensory sensitivity. And an iffy relationship with human social cues/rules, but it's mostly being critical of some, not like, misunderstanding them. I do misunderstand them, but due to my anxiety. I fear people hate me, or I view some of their cues as a threat.

It's interesting. I've actually never heard of an allistic being diagnosed as autistic. It's a little lonely. And whenever I see anything regarding allistics, it's not anything good. :( I promise, not every allistic is mean, or cold. I try to be as welcoming as possible, even when things feel strange to me.

But anyway, yeah. I wonder if I'll revisit the diagnosis again someday, but I don't think I want to right now. I just don't know if it's true or not. I'd need a second opinion. I've heard that it's hard for black folks like me to get diagnosed, and I am very femme presenting outwardly, so folks assume I'm female, and I've heard it's also hard for women to be diagnosed. I'm not a woman, I'm non-binary, but you get what I mean.

It's frustrating to look at the diagnosis because it's just not really exactly me, but it's me, still. Know what I mean?

[homoeroticvillain]

ummmmm i wanna hear/see about your ocs romantic endeavors maybeeee

okiii

geist: before luci they dated one person when they were 16 who was one of adam's friends. it went absolutely horribly and turned them off dating for ages

angie: i've talked about her dating life a good few times in the sense that she keeps trying and it keeps not working out. she's had quite a few relationships, although most of them didn't end up lasting very long. a few notable ones is that she had a crush on her high school bully. and recently she got broken up with by her college dorm roommate and yes it's crazy awkward now. generally her type is mean femmes

adam: he has also dated around a bit but a lot more casually then angie. angie is practically head over heels for every women she dates while adam mostly dates casually with friends. best example is wallace spvtw which does imply he is vaguely poly which i'm deciding in this moment is true

bianca: the closest she has got to dating someone is playing otome games, there have actually been a few people she kinda knew that had crushes on her but because of her being completely oblivious it didn't go anywhere

dan: once again he hasn't actually dated anyone before but he has actually had a few people ask him out and he did notice but he turned them all down due to his being in love with luci. the only reason him and bianca start dating eventually is cause at that point he had given up on luci due to the uh geist incident. although i should say him and luci did have a very spicy kindergarten tryst where they held hands on the swings once

luci: before geist he had dated a few girls mostly cause he felt it was expected of him. he was pretty jock-y and he also had a "girl" best friend for a good portion of him growing up so he kinda just said yes to some girls who asked him out to get people off his back. none of it really went anywhere but hey he tried?

[50sfemme]

Hi again! I'm the anon who talked about my fiance. Thank you so much for your sweet reply and your congratulations 😊 we don't often feel like we belong anywhere so it really made me smile!! There is definitely something special about relationships between female people. I've spent most of my life in female oriented or female only spaces so the energy and comfort of a place, especially when it's private, just doesn't feel right when a male is there. I knew I was attracted to them but I never wanted to be with one. My fiance always calls himself the best of both worlds 😆 beyond being just who we have romantic feelings toward, there is something very special in the love between two women (or two female people)!! I'd never want to be any different 💕

oh that message warmed my heart so much 💌 you are absolutely right, there is nothing like the love between women/female people! it’s very sweet that your fiancée calls himself the best of both worlds haha, as a baby femme i was always confused because i knew i wanted a female lover, but i longed for the masculinity i could only see depicted in cis men. and it is lovers like ours who bridge that gap so beautifully, with their strength and their toughness and yet — with the compassion and gentleness that could only come from being raised a girl.

you two absolutely belong in our spaces, and especially on this blog. i know i speak mostly of women but my blog is open to any female person who engages in our wonderful dynamics, no matter their age or how they identify. sending lots of love and good wishes for you and your fiancé 💌 update me when the wedding happens! ♥️

[mmonsters-vs-aliens]

okay i don't want to clutter this blog up *too* much with my own "not really mva ocs but their adjacent Enough to be considered mva ocs" and i know people have mixed opinions on kinsonas, but I've been thinking about these two guys again. with the context of this blog and some small things I've mentioned about myself it's probably hopefully *somewhat* obvious who these two are based on!

Étoile (she/??/it) - the taller pink alien gal, is a manifestation of the scientist guy's like. consciousness or subconscious. Said scientist i just call "Doc" (he/??)

They're the same entity, at their core; a pink, shapeshifting slime monster, that Mostly came from space. There's a human element, which is why they still have a human "host" body. Étoile is also basically just Doc's impulsive thoughts (not like. intrusive thoughts) and she does things he usually hates, and shows a side of himself he'd rather not have anyone know about. God Forbid Women Do Anything.

On the topic of gender, Doc presents masc but is afab coded, and Étoile is femme but amab-adjacent; she has a deeper voice, but doesn't have an assigned gender because.. yknow ,, creature. "why not just swap bodies" the problem would remain! it's like. even with everything they would want about themselves, they would naturally kinda just go back to being themselves again. There's really only one person in both bodies, it's not really like "split consciousness" or anything. They are the same Guy, just the personality changes with the body, due to how they feel in the respective forms.

Doc is also capable of kinda melting/turning into a flesh monster, but hates that a lot. He has to stretch every so often and kinda accidentally morphs a bit. I don't have a proper name for them separately, or together, actually! maybe someday lol.

Étoile is also selectively mute , and covers where a second eye *should* be, and her mouth. She's incapable of changing certain things about herself, including her size and her more complex features (basically important organs, which I'm debating if she has or not)

[rocketonthemoon]

well now i have to copy paste and replace ‘tenoh haruka’ with ‘michiru kaioh’ obviously Character asks: that other one; 1, 3, 11, 16

LMAO ok you know what that's fair! (character ask meme)

Why do you like/dislike this character: Michiru aka Sailor Neptune while not in my Top Characters Of All Time is ALSO tattooed on my body because she's perfect she's flawless she's beautiful she's a FUCKING ASSHOLE and gives zero shits and all of that together is so good to me personally. I'm a sucker for a femme who is just here for her girlfriend and the rest of you can fucking eat it while also giving the appearance of a total gracious princess. Again I live in the 90s anime where Michiru was upfront about burning the world down if Haruka lives and if THAT ain't peak gay romance I don't know what is.

Least favorite canon thing about this character: I'm not a fan how in the manga she's kinda brushed aside to be sort of a prop or echo for Haruka. She's not given a lot of depth and individual character there imo but the manga isn't my favorite canon to live in so I don't.

Would you date this character: listen it would not be honest of me to say no because my past two relationships a) started over our mutual love of HaruMichi and b) were with women that shared a ton of character traits with Michiru. Michiru is not my EXACT type but she's pretty fucking close to it.

What's your least favorite ship for this character: Does Michiru get shipped with anyone else??? I guess Michiru with Mamoru but that's mostly as a consolation prize if someone ships HarUsa which. See Last Ask.