#but then Dean got the Mark of Cain and there was this other whole thing I won't spoil for you... So idk who it's about anymore lol

[thirdsaltyhunter]

Fight for Love

Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Summary: a fight between you and Dean leads to some unintended truth slipping out, maybe that's not a bad thing

Warning: flangst, arguing, self hate, implied smut, set in season 9(spoilers)

A/N: Not proofread all mistakes are my own.

You and Dean had been screaming at each other for a good 10 minutes now. It had gotten to the point where Sam had given up trying to be the mediator and snuck away to the library to let you fight it out in the map room.

This argument had started when you found out Dean had taken on the Mark of Cain and to make it worse, he had hidden it from you for over a week. After you saw it on his arm and started asking questions, he tried to brush you off like it wasn't a big deal. Your anger had flared, but what you wouldn't admit, was that that anger, was fueled by fear and concern for your friend.

You had been friends with the boys for years and fought by their side. It wasn't long after getting to know them, that you started to develop feelings for the older Winchester, despite your best efforts at keeping your heart in check. At this point, those feeling had developed into being hopelessly in love with him. You wouldn't say anything though; you knew your feelings were unrequited.

"Do you know how bad of an idea that was Dean, we know literally nothing about what that mark could do to you, but I know it's really not good", you yelled as he paced back and forth on the other side of the map table. All the terrible things you had heard about the Mark in biblical literature, flashed through your head.

"We had no other option Y/N, what was I supposed to do?"

"Ok, then we'll get it off!", your yelling was elevated by the frustration and anxiety that was coursing through your veins.

"We could've figured out a plan that didn't involve you getting a murderous tramp-stamp and then lying to me about it." Honestly you felt betrayed. You were supposed to trust each other.

"I didn't lie to you and it's too late now isn't it.", he was practically fuming now.

"And why the fuck do you even care?", he yelled, leaning forward. He seemed so close to you despite still being across the table.

At his question, it was like something snapped inside you at his audacity, after all. the things youve been through, to even ask you that. All rational thinking and control went out of your mind.

"Because I love you!", you yelled, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your voice was louder than it had been throughout your whole argument. However your screamed admission of the words you had tried so hard to keep to yourself for years, was followed by a deafening silence. All of your anger and fire drained out of you and was replaced by pure, icy dread and regret.

You wondered for a brief moment, if you had in fact said those words aloud, but one look at Dean's face, at his shocked expression, confirmed that you had. You had just brought your walls of emotional repression crashing down around you.

You glanced to your right to see that Sam had reemerged from the library, clearly he had heard you and wanted to see how this scene would play out. Sam, being your best friend, had always encouraged you to admit your feelings to Dean, but you had always thought that was a terrible idea. There was no way someone like him could want you. You didn't deserve him anyway. All of the terrible outcomes ran through your head, Dean rejecting you, or getting mad at you and kicking you out of the Bunker, or things becoming awkward and you losing your closest friends. Some of the only people you had.

You were waiting for one of these possibilities to happen as you stared at the floor while Dean still stared at you in stunned silence. In reality, it had only been a few seconds, but it felt like time had stopped and you couldn't stand waiting anymore. So you ran.

"Y/N wait!", Sam called after you, but your feet were already carrying you to the garage. You grabbed your keys and got in your car as fast as you could, you wanted to be far away from this situation, somewhere you wouldn't have to face Dean. His silence made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you and you didn't think your heart could handle his rejection... or worse.

After about 20 minutes of driving, your thoughts had spiraled to the point that your hands were shaking, so you pulled off the road into a field. You got out of your car to go sit on the hood and think, try to come up with a plan on what to do next, but it was like your mind wasn't working. You hadn't even realized it, but you were crying. You just wished you could go back in time and take back those words.

Dean's POV

Dean didn't break out of his trance of disbelief until he heard the garage door slam behind you. His mind couldn't wrap around the fact that you had just admitted you loved him, he thought there was no way someone like you could want someone like him.

"What the hell man!", Sam said, exasperated. "Why did you just stand there?" He looked ready to smack him.

"I don't know Sam!". He felt like an idiot. Why did he just stand there? Why didn't he say anything? And now you were gone. "What do I do?", he asked his brother.

"Well, it's too late to follow her, so we'll have to find her."

"How?"

The younger Winchester thought for a moment. "We can try to track her phone and hope she didn't turn it off."

Your POV

You couldn't have been sitting on your hood, drowning in stress, for more than 30 minutes before you heard the distinct rumbling of the impala. You forgot to turn the location off on your phone. Fuck. Your heart sunk to your stomach and you prayed to any god listening, that it was Sam in the car and not Dean. But you knew better. You knew just from the sound of his footsteps who it was.

Dean came and sat next to you in the hood of your car. You couldn't look at him, you didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes when he saw you were crying.

"Sweetheart, please look at me", he said after a moment of silence. He placed a hand on your knee and you immediately jerked away.

"You don't need to say anything Dean, I get it." You still weren't looking at him. You really didn't want to hear some "it's not you it's me" speech.

"Get what?", he asked, genuinely confused at how you were reacting.

"I'm so sorry", you said, completely ignoring his question; your eyes welling with a new wave of tears.

"Whoa whoa, hey", he said softly, moving off the hood to kneel in front of you. Your hands went up to hide your face. "C'mon look me Sweetheart. Please.", he pulled your hands away from your face to hold them.

"Please don't kick me out." You knew that was an irrational fear to have and Dean would probably never do that to you, but the weight of your insecurity was heavy on your mind.

He was taken aback by your words but his heart broke at how upset you looked and the tear stains on your cheeks. He realized then, what was going through your mind; you thought he was going to reject you.

"Hey, no one's kicking you out." He gently squeezed your hands. "Look at me."

His voice sounded so gentle, but you could pick up on the hint of what sounded like nervousness. You finally met his eyes.

"I love you too." Your eyes widened in disbelief at his words, but you knew how monumental Dean Winchester, saying those words to anyone, was. "I should have told you that a long time ago, but I never thought you'd feel the same."

"Y-you love me?" you were still shocked, you wanted to cry for a whole other reason now. Relief. Happiness. Gratitude.

"Have for a long time sweetheart, how could I not." He could still tell you didn't believe him so he leaned up slowly giving you plenty of time to pull away, before planting a gentle kiss to your lips. It felt like you were going to combust and he was the only thing keeping you tethered to earth.

Once your brain had caught up and he pulled away, you decided the kiss was entirely to short for your liking. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back into a kiss, that tried to make up for all the years of waiting. Laying back on the hood of your car you pulled him to stand between you legs as he continued to kiss you. This was a rare moment in your life where you were allowing yourself to have what you wanted.

Things were getting pretty heated before Dean pulled back to look down at you. "We don't have to take this any farther if you don't want to," he said, eyes laced with softness and concern.

"Dean if you don't want to go any farther because you want to take things slow, that's fine with me, but if you're saying that because you're worried about me... I've been waiting for nine years, don't make me wait any longer."

A smile, that you hadn't seen in a long time, lit up his face. "Then why don't we move to the car," he motioned to the sky. It apparently had started lightly raining at some point and was about to start coming down harder.

You nodded in agreement, before taking his offered hand so you could climb off your hood. He opened the back door of the impala for you and let you get in before joining you and shutting the door. You were going to wait out the rain and try to make up for all the lost time.

Laying in his arms, completely blissed out, you listened to his breathing and the rain hitting the roof of the car. You ran your hand down his arm until you got to his forearm. You stopped to run your thumb over the mark. "Does it hurt?" you asked.

"Not really. It did at first." he took a breath before continuing. "I'm sorry... I know it was a stupid move, and I should have told you."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just worry about you."

Before he could respond, you heard his phone ring from the floorboard. You groaned, not wanting to move from his hold.

He chuckled at your annoyance. "It's probably Sam. It's been hours, we should at least let him know you didn't wind up in a ditch somewhere."

"Fine," you said with a playful eyeroll and reached down to grab his phone. You read Sam's name on the caller ID and answered it. "Hey Sammy," you greeted.

"Oh h-hey!" he said clearly surprised to hear your voice instead of Dean's. "So I guess Dean found you."

"Yeah everything's good. We're ok."

"Ok good," he said with a hint of relief.

You nodded with a sigh and began gathering your clothes.

"We'll be home soon, I promise." You said your goodbyes to Sam, before hanging up and putting Dean's phone back in his pocket.

"I guess we should head back."he said.

A flash of worry went through you. You didn't want to break this moment, almost fearing that what had happened between you two would disappear when you left the safety of the car.

Once you were both redressed, you went to reach for the door handle and head back to your car. Dean's hand on your arm stopped you.

"We'll get your car tomorrow, just ride home with me tonight," he pleaded.

"Ok," you breathed, relieved that the moment still wasn't ending.

You had settled into the front seat with him and began the drive back to the bunker, when you had an idea. Rummaging through his box of cassettes you found the one you were looking for.

"What are you doing, Sweetheart?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"Don't worry about it, you just keep driving." You smiled at him and slipped the tape into the cassette player.

Dean started to laugh as soon as he recognized what song you had played. "Did you just 'Night Moves' me ?"

You nodded and started singing along with Seger's voice with a huge smile on your face.

[idledreams4]

That is sooooo fair lmaoo

tag watches supernatural update: GUYS IM ON THE FANFICTION EPISODE IN SEASON 10 IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR LIKE EVER

edit: HELP OMG THE PLAY IS A MUSICAL LMAPOOOOO THEIR FUCKING FACES WITH THE ZOOM IN IM DYING

[walkinthrudaisies]

Do You Think I’m Weird?

jack kline x fem!reader

2.5k | fluff

summary: you’ve always been a little weird. not thinking anything was wrong with it until dean decided to read your journal. though jack was just as weird as you were, and that makes your quirks a little more better.

fighting evil and the supernatural was not what you had pictured for your life plan, yet here you were.

you had met sam and dean about seven years ago. freshly thirteen, you had been living in an orphanage since the age of five. both of your parents had died in a freak car accident, leaving you in the care of a middle aged woman with ten other girls, far away from home.

the winchester brothers had sniffed out a case in oklahoma. a shifter that was terrorizing homes so they could slaughter everyone present. that was the only reason you’d ran into the infamous sam and dean. the shifter had visited your orphanage, slaughtering everyone there and almost killing you too if it wasn’t for dean killing them at the last moment.

sam was the one who felt obligated to take you in. you were so young, with no where for them to drop you off. dean wasn’t too keen on taking in a random thirteen year old girl. him and sam dealt with enough as is. so tacking on taking care of a fresh teenage girl, while also saving the world, was not something he really wanted to do.

but sam was always so convincing, breaking out his infamous puppy dog eyes to sway dean into saying yes. so for the past couple of years, sam and dean winchester were all you had. they loved you like a sister, and you viewed them as your family.

joining sam and dean on their journey meant you saw a lot of strange things. you were there when leviathans took over, one even killing bobby. you were present when dean went to purgatory, even following sam to texas when he thought dean had died. you watched as an angel took over sam and dean got the mark of cain, inevitably turning him into a demon.

attempting to close the gates of hell, angels falling, god’s freakin sister wanting to take over the world. you where there for it all. beside the two brothers, learning what you could from them and helping the best you could. so of course, you where there when the devil himself took over the president. you stood along slack jawed as castiel realized a nephilim had been born. not any nephilim though, but satan’s fucking offspring.

the poor woman who’d the devil taken advantage of was too kind to have this happen to her. you couldn’t bare be around kelly kline, for you felt a sense of dread any time you looked at her somber and smiling face. realizing she wouldn’t be alive to see her child.

though in the end, everything had happened so fast. kelly’s child was so strong, the unborn baby opened a rift to another world. this rift ended up taking the devil, alongside sam and dean’s mother, (who yes, was back from the dead) before it closed for good. oh no, but that was after lucifer stuck an angel blade in castiel’s back, killing him right in front of you and the brothers.

everyone was gone. kelly was dead, and in all the chaos, you had completely forgotten she’d given birth to a whole damn child. well, it was more like a twenty something year old man. you believed after everything you’ve seen, nothing could shock you. but as you walked into the baby’s nursery, you swore your jaw fell off as you looked past sam’s broad shoulders, eyes falling on a full grown man who was very much kelly’s newborn son.

jack was an interesting guy from the jump. he was a week old baby in a grown man’s body. it was a little weird and hard to get used to. it got easier — well actually exceptionally harder, when jack ended up getting stuck in the other dimension with mary winchester. but they were both back now, and the devil was dead, and everything seemed to be okay.

right now, mary had been gone for a week or so, working on some cases. so now, it was just you, sam, dean, cas, and jack in the bunker.

times like these you enjoyed. with the addition of jack, it was like how things used to be. times when not everything was as complicated as it is now. it was just you and the winchester’s fighting evil, with castiel to give his aid when needed and bobby’s house as a refuge spot.

no big threat was happening at the moment. this allowed for you and everyone else to chill and relax for a bit. you had found some time so get to know jack some more. yes, you’d fought alongside him, but you never knew what his interests were. what he found entertaining and other factors of him were completely unaware to you.

though today, your investigation in the phenomenon that was jack kline was put to a halt. sam basically forced everyone in the bunker to go through a certain chunk of books in the library. his words exactly were ‘these are the only books we haven’t cataloged, and when are we going to find time to do it?’ he wasn’t wrong, yet the task was as boring as watching paint dry.

midway through the highly entertaining book cataloging, you heard a snicker come from across the table. dean winchester was holding a book that looks wise, wasn’t as old as the other men of letter novels. dean reading the contents and silently giggling to himself. you were slightly confused on what he had found so funny, until you spotted a very familiar fiona apple sticker on the front.

oh dear god. dean was reading your journal. your scattered brain had left it on the table alongside all the other books. a late night of jotting down your thoughts and even creating your own poems was cut short as you felt drowsiness take over you. in your sleepy haze, you must’ve forgotten to take it to your room. now because of it, freaking dean, the most immature person you’ve ever met, was reading it’s contents.

you loved the eldest winchester, don’t get it twisted. though like everyone else, he had his flaws, and you couldn’t deny the truth. dean being raised in a not so nice environment by his drill sergeant of a father left him to be a little cruel when it came to certain things. in honesty, he didn’t catch on to social cues well. if he was publicly going to laugh at your journal, then he probably would.

“oh wow, pipsqueak.” dean’s voice came out through chokes of laughter, and you could feel yourself sinking into your own skin as time kept moving foreword. “i knew you were a little weird, but jesus christ.”

in dean’s brain, he was joking around with you. this was something john used to do — mostly to sam. if the older man came across something personal to his youngest son, especially something john didn’t agree with, he would laugh at him. chalking it up to be a joke when sam got upset. dean wholeheartedly believed that this was all joking fun. this was how he grew up, and it wasn’t his fault that his dad was an emotionally unattached man who was stuck in his distorted ways.

eyes downcast towards your lap, you couldn’t bare to look up at any of the four men in the room. the feeling of sam’s pitiful gaze fleeted over the top of your head. he knew what this felt like, and you knew that he felt for you and wanted dean to shut up as much as you did. cas was confused. the man always had a nuance of bewilderment on his face, but this time it was different. he was an angel after all, he could feel your discomfort radiating off of you in waves. his confusion didn’t stem from why you felt this way, but why dean was making you feel like it. he wanted your emotion to stop, wanted you to feel comfortable and not like everyone in the room was judging you.

jack was a different story. he hadn’t been alive for long, but jack was already very well versed. he cared exceedingly for the people he held close in his heart, and he especially had a problem with letting his anger get the best of him.

one thing for certain, jack kline cared for you deeply, more than anyone truly knew about. he thought you were ethereal, everything he believed a person should be. seeing dean treat you so blatantly terrible made the swell of anger in jack’s chest rise. without even lifting your head you could feel it coming off of the young nephilim in waves.

before jack could explode, or god forbid dean read an excerpt out loud, you got up from your chair and in a fast pace walked to your room. you could hear sam start scolding dean but you didn’t make a move to turn around and tune in. the embarrassment was rolling off of you in waves, and you could already feeling the tears forming at your lash line.

you’d always been a little different than other people. your interests sometimes weirded people out, starting from when you were in the foster home. some of the girls would make fun of you, and it would make you feel even more alone then you already were at the time.

there was just some things you wanted to keep to yourself. your journal was the number one thing of that. yeah, sam and dean knew how you were and even mentioned multiple times that you were pretty strange at some times. you knew they were just joking around. but with what dean was doing with your journal, you couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t all a joke.

closing the door to your room, you stood by the wooden threshold and looked around at everything you did to change the space. all of the pictures and designs you put on the wall felt silly now. you didn’t know what dean, cas, or even sam was thinking when they came in. you felt so stupid, so embarrassed that your brain couldn’t properly function.

staring at your walls, trinkets on your desk. hell, even the new bed spread you got to replace to old, thin one the men of letters probably had since the 1950’s made you feel so exposed. everyone was secretly making fun of you, like they used to at the orphanage, and you couldn’t go through that pain not again.

you were a freak. so off putting that even sam and dean noticed it. noticed it not in a good way, but in a way where they were judging you without you knowing. with eyes blinded by embarrassed sadness, you ripped the comforter off of your bed, throwing each stupid plushie at the wall. every trinket or item on your desk was thrown off in a massive sweep, leaving a loud clatter in it’s wake.

as you were about to rip all the posters off of your wall, you felt two arms wrap around you, pulling you away from the destruction. some part of you wanted to fight back, wanted to believe that changing who you were was the best thing you could do. but you were so tired. tired of forcing yourself to pretend you were something you weren’t. so melting into the arms of the person who you still haven’t identified, the tears started to freely fall from your eyelids.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” the sound of jack’s voice right by your left ear shocked you a little. turning around in his arms, you looked at the man’s face to see nothing but hurt and confusion plaguing his stare. he held such care in his eyes. this moment made you realize how much jack truly cared for you, and that led to you falling limp into his arms and breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

jack stilled, not knowing what to do in this certain situation. like a lightbulb going off in his head, he remembered what sam always did when a victim was crying. wrapping his arms tighter around your body, jack placed his head on top of yours, letting you cry into his shoulder and soothing you the best he could.

voice muffled by jack’s sweater, you spoke with a small voice. worried that jack would judge you. “do you think i’m weird?” the question caught the young nephilim by surprise. why would you think that? to jack, you were so creative and intelligent. yeah, you had your quirks, but that made you who you are in jack’s eyes. anyone who thought you were weird in a bad sense was just plain old stupid.

moving his head from yours, allowing you to look up into jack’s eyes, you watched as he softly smiled at you, contemplating what to say next. “yeah. you’re pretty weird.” his words made your heart drop to your stomach. eyes widening in fear before he continued. “but that’s what makes you, well, you! and i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

mouth agape in shock, you shook your head as if to disagree with him. “but, what about what dean-“

“sam and cas are giving dean a pretty heated lecture as we speak. i don’t think he realized how much that hurt you.” the thought of sam and cas sticking up for you made a smile light up your face. you loved dean, yet jack was right. he probably didn’t know that his words were hurtful, and you knew that a heartfelt apology and a lot of pie would come in it’s wake.

turning your head away from jack, you looked around your room at all the destruction you had made. thank god you didn’t tear your posters down, for the mess of blankets, papers and small trinkets was already bad enough as is. the man immediately perked up, moving away from you and rummaging around your things in a way to clean them up.

a soft gasp was heard from where jack was knelt on the ground. turning around, he lifted up a medium sized glass cat figurine that he’d gotten you at at farmers market. “thank goodness skittles didn’t break. the lady at the stall was staring at me funny and i really don’t want to see her again.” the thought that jack didn’t care about the destruction of your belongings but how he was going to reattain them for you put a smile on your face. he really did care, and that warm fuzzy feeling in your chest was starting to grow bigger and bigger.

leaning down so you could place a soft kiss on the crown of jack’s head, you moved to sit beside him on the floor, helping with the clean up of all the items strewn around the room. a light squeeze to your hand had you understanding that even with everything going on, you still had someone who didn’t care for what you liked. jack was right there beside you. reading the books you liked, watching your favourite movies, listening to your rants on anything you found interesting.

jack kline was someone you could always count on to be your true self around, and that was something that made you realize that enormous crush you had on the half angel.

[ninii-winchester]

Revived (Final)

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader

Word count : 1.3k

Warnings : mentions of medical aid, potential spoilers s9, mark of cain mentioned, fluff(?)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Dean's hand shook as he carried Y/n inside the motel room. Sam quickly fetched the medical kit and rushed to her side. Laying her down on one of the beds, Dean carefully teared apart the hole which was caused by the blade stab, giving Sam more room to stitch her thigh.

After her wound was closed and bandaged Dean helped her with a glass of water, encouraging her to take small sips. After the small cuts on her face were cleaned too, the room fell into a uncomfortable silence. Dean's gaze was hard as he stared at her, now that the anxiety rush of her being in danger passed, he's furious. The demon's word came crashing back into him. For a minute he could've let it go, given demons lie all the time. But Crowley's appearance had nailed down the last bit of uncertainty he had.

Y/n had actually sold her soul.

Sam paced the room, unable to wrap his head around the events of last few hours. This was supposed to be a normal hunt, no different from any other one they've ever been on, never in his entire life he could've expected this outcome of a supposed hunt.

Y/n's heart was beating rapidly, she could feel it against her ribcage, as if it would jump out of her mouth any second. She knew what she had done and she knew she'd have to deal with the consequences of her actions but it never occurred to her, that it would come hit her sooner than she has expected. The look on both brothers face told her that neither of them were pleased with her decision. She decided its time she bites the bullet and get this over with.

"Say it." She whispered lowly. None of the boys spoke for a whole minute before Sam spoke,

"Why'd you do it?" He questioned, "Rowena said she can bring him back."

"She told me she couldn't do it. She lied because I told her to." She replied avoiding eye contact with either brother. "She said it's not a hex or curse so cannot undo it, Dean died because he hit his head."

"You told me not to do it and you go ahead and do the exact same thing!" Sam exclaimed while Dean continued to watch them silently. When she didn't reply Sam shook his head slumping down on a chair. She took a deep breath before answering,

"You two have been dancing this dance for so long. I knew Dean would be pissed if he found out you sold your soul. I just wanted him back, is it so wrong?" She said her voice getting louder.

"And you think I wouldn't be pissed if it were you?" Dean finally spoke.

"It doesn't matter. I did what I wanted to. You're not the boss of me." She replied crossing her arms across her chest.

"I.." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose before he spoke again, "this isn't about being anyone's boss, how could you be so stupid?" He snapped stepping closer to her bed. Sam felt the tension rising in the room so he quietly slipped out of the room.

"Call me stupid, reckless or careless. Truth is I am selfish." She yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. Dean recoiled a bit at that. "I am selfish, I don't want to live in world where there is no Dean Winchester. I would do it over and over again if it means that you survive." Her voice turned low as she looked away, her lip quivering as she tried to keep herself from crying her wits out.

Dean hadn't expected her to express herself so openly, he knew the two of them confessed to being in love with each other but he never guessed the intensity of her love for him. He took a cautious step towards her and sat beside her on the bed.

"Hey, look at me." Dean spoke as softly as he could. "I understand your feelings but sacrificing your life for me isn't what I want from anyone, not you, not Sammy or anyone else." He cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Dean, I got fifteen years before the sacrifice comes into play. And I'm a hunter, who's to say I was going to live a long life. I'm happy to give my life as long as I get to spend it with you, or whatever's left of it."

"Hell ain't no field trip, sweetheart. I don't want you to go through all that pain."

"We'll think about it when we get there. One day at a time?"

Dean sighed knowing there's no way out it. He would never be able to convince her to undo it. For him, fifteen years is too less to spend with her, but it's enough for him to get here out this mess. And he swore on everything he loves, he will get her out of this mess.

Dean has never considered himself lucky, if anything he's always thought that fate was out there to get him. To fuck him up in more ways than one, but this time, he felt the cards were stacked in his favour.

Dean and Crowley went to see Cain, they decided to team up to take down Abbadon. Cain was nonchalant about the demons attacking them while Dean fought vigorously. Crowley dealt with some other demons and came to where Dean and Cain were.

"If you want I can give you the mark Dean," Cain spoke with urgency. "With the mark and the First Blade, you can take care of Abbadon."

Dean looked at Crowley, who seemed like he was ready to beg on his knees for him to do it. But Dean didn't want him to beg, his gaze turned demanding.

"Her soul." Was the only thing he said.

Cain looked back and forth between the Winchester and The king of Hell. Crowley rolled his eyes but brought up a piece of paper and burned it.

"Your girl's soul is her own now." Crowley spoke, not happy about giving it back but he had bigger problems at hand.

Cain raised a brow at Crowley's words and he added, "you're much more like me than I thought." He said remembering how he left all the Hell business behind for his Colette. Dean nodded towards Cain's mark and the man transferred the mark to Dean.

"Are you fucking insane?" Was the first thing Y/n yelled as soon as she saw the Mark on Dean's arm.

"Insanely in love with you, yes." He replied plopping on the chair, taking a swig of his beer.

"Not funny, Dean. What did you do!?" She exclaimed observing his arm.

"Wasn't trying to be funny, sweetheart. Crowley had your soul and he gave it back in exchange of me ganking that Abbadon bitch." Dean said nonchalantly and it angered her to no end.

"You're talking as if you just bought groceries Dean, what the hell is wrong with you? That Mark is evil, it'll turn you into a monster." Dean stood up from his chair and walked over to her.

"I have you to keep me grounded. And I'd rather be a monster than let you go to hell. This discussion is over." He pecked her lips before walking away.

That discussion was far from over but Dean made sure it was never brought up ever again. It was hard time for Y/n when Dean became a demon. It took Y/n and Sam a lot of blood, sweat and tears to bring him back but they did it.

“Can we please promise no more bargains with demons?” Y/n sighed into Dean’s chest as he held her tightly in his embrace.

“It’s a deal.” She looked at him with an incredulous look and he winked at her. She sighed dropping her forehead on his chest. He’s a cheeky bastard but he’s her cheeky bastard. And she wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Tags:

@galway-girlatwork

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[zmediaoutlet]

fic: troth

a gift for @flownwrong as part of the kris kringle mingle -- have a good year, bud. :)

title: troth pairing: sam/dean length: 3200 tags: established relationship, season 10, truth curses

(read on AO3)

It's a sigil, some weird language neither of them recognize, two inches more-or-less square seared onto Dean's chest under the no-demons-allowed tat, right over his heart. Between that and the fun little gift from Cain, he's starting to feel crowded.

"Why there," Sam says, the jackass. Dean takes in a breath and Sam immediately looks sorry, says, "Wait—"

"Magical sigils tend to follow the ley-fields of the human body," Dean says, "so they can take advantage of belief foci: head, heart, hands, genitals, clusters of veins and nerves. In this case the sigil is inscribed in the place of greatest meaning for the witch who designed it."

His voice rasps. Sam grimaces. Writes it down, too, damn him. Like Dean's a damn wikipedia article he's referencing.

"This is not a question," Sam says, carefully. He ignores Dean's eyeroll. "I wonder how you know this stuff. I mean. I know we've been doing a lot of research but it seems—I don't know. Impossible."

It's not a question and so Dean doesn't know how to contribute. His tongue's felt weighed down, ever since they left that cabin in the mountains. His head hurts, fuzzy like lack of sleep and a hangover headache are warring for which can suck most, but Sam's been in some level of freak-out since yet another who-knows-how-terrible weird mark has imbued itself onto Dean's body and so here they are, at the tables in the library, researching through the night. Dean wants to say, hey, at least this one isn't trying to make me into a murder machine, but he can't seem to speak without being asked for something. Sam probably wouldn't appreciate it, anyway.

The spell leapt from the witch bitch's grimoire as Dean was tossing it into the fire, like it refused to die even as she went down under Sam's bullet. With the grimoire gone they'd probably be up the creek—and yet.

"I'd like you to drink a glass of water," Sam says. Another careful non-question. He sets it in front of Dean. "Your throat sounds like it hurts."

It does. Dean drags his hands over his face, hard, and then drags them over the back of his skull and presses his fingertips brutally into the muscle at the back of his neck that's aching like after a twenty-hour drive. Like trying to shift poured cement. Then he picks up the glass and drains it in cool glugging swallows, until his belly sloshes, and then he leans back in his chair with his eyes closed. Not the worst thing in the world to have Sam coddling him. From Sam, this counts as coddling.

The chair next to him drags out. "Don't hate me," Sam says. That's not a question, either. Dean gives him a sidelong squint and Sam's got his elbows braced on the chair arms, hunched, looking sorry. He's looked sorry a lot, this year. Dean can't say it but he hopes he communicates how dumb he finds the whole attempt is with, whatever, the shape of his ears and the distance apart his knees are set, and closes his eye again. "Yeah, okay," Sam says, quiet. Then: "Why can't you talk of your own volition?"

Dean's mouth opens.

Thing is, he's not saying it. It's like there's some portal that opens somewhere around his voicebox and information pours out from some other place. The answer's something about the witch cursing whoever killed her with knowledge beyond blah blah, but that doesn't mean Dean's got to pay attention to it or knows what it means. His head's killing him, anyway. Sam's writing down something while Dean babbles about a Greek curse originating from Delphi and Dean's just—a speaker, turning in to radio wherever. Crank the volume and listen to him go.

"This is… incredible," Sam says. "Dean, I think—could you tell me anything?"

"Yes," Dean says, and expects more, and nothing comes. Level of detail is all over the place, but whatever it is always seems to be true.

"Huh." A dragging sound: Dean opens his eyes, and Sam's pulled up his laptop, is clicking around. White light washing out his face. "Okay: what website am I looking at right now?"

"Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia," Dean says. When isn't he.

Sam squints at the screen, says, "What's the URL?", and Dean doesn't get to call him an absolute bitch before he starts parroting out: "H T T P S colon slash slash—" although at least Sam looks like he regrets it well before Dean gets to say Oracle.

His throat really does ache by the end and his head hurts bad enough that tears smart at the corners of his eyes. From talking. Somewhere, Sam at age twenty-two is feeling vindicated. The room blurs and he closes his eyes again, grips the table so as not to sway so visibly. "Are—" Sam starts, but luckily he seems to remember to use the massive brain in his massive head and doesn't ask; he touches Dean's arm, instead, gently at first and then squeezing hard. It hurts a little, is warm. Feels good. Dean should get cursed by some kind of dead Big Fat Greek Wedding broad more often.

"Yes or no questions, maybe," Sam says, mostly to himself seems like. Then: "Does answering hurt?"

"Yes," Dean says. Sam is supposed to be the smart one, right? He's testing that now.

"Does… the complexity of the question increase the strain of answering?"

"Yes," Dean says, voice cracking like he's friggin' thirteen, and Sam squeezes his shoulder instead, and then the back of his neck where everything seems to have been replaced by screaming furiously hot steel, and somehow Sam's hand doesn't sear right off so that must be something that Dean's dealing with on the inside. He feels like he should be visibly smoking.

"Hey," Sam says, quiet, and touches Dean's face, and—ah, damn it, the tears have spilled over so his face is all wet. He'd crack a joke about cutting onions but he figures Sam's heard it, and anyway he already got a lecture about autonomic responses to pain when he broke his collarbone, that one summer when they were kids, does Sam remember? None of which he can say but Sam maybe gets it anyway, since he smears his thumb over Dean's cheek and then says, "Stop being a wuss," so Dean can shove vaguely in the direction of Sam's heat, and Sam can grunt on the weak impact and then say, "Okay, c'mon—" and drag Dean to his feet even if he thinks he might faint.

His bedroom. Sinking into the memory foam, his forearm over his eyes. Sam turns on the bedside lamp and Dean flinches, even with the shade, so the lamp goes off again. A few seconds pass before Sam sits on the side of the bed.

"Guess it would've been too good to be true to just get the answers to life, the universe, and everything," Sam says. "Or, I guess we could, but then you'd blow up? What do you think, worth it?" Quiet, although he's just about the one thing that doesn't seem to hurt right now. Dean fumbles a hand down and finds Sam's leg, warm through denim, and flicks him as hard as he can. "Ow." Yeah, that's what he gets.

Sam sits there quiet for a while, Dean's hand tucked in against his thigh. While Dean breathes it feels like the pounding of his head reduces, a little—just a regular high-speed drum solo and not a Keith Moon explosion—and it feels less like he's gonna puke and have a stroke all at the same time.

"One reason we've got to fix this: I don't know how, but somehow I'm missing the crack you'd normally make about me holding your hand." Dean snorts. Sam's fingers move against his pulse. "Maybe later we can try more yes and no stuff. I want to be able to just ask how to get rid of it but I don't want to give you an aneurysm."

Sam's hand moves up his forearm. Dean swallows. Lot of answers they could use.

He expects Sam to get up but he stays. His hand folds over the mark on Dean's arm and stays there. Another pulse point but Dean guesses that's not why. Sam's warm, which is a stupid thing to keep thinking but it just feels so damn good Dean can't give himself too much crap for it—he is warm, and he feels right, and he smells good on top of everything else. Been a long time and everything's been so weird and scary, even scarier than normal which for their lives is really saying something, and he missed Sam, is all. A lot. More than he could say, and now that he wants to say it he can't. His life's a real joke, a lot of the time.

While his pulse slows further he thinks about the last time Sam was in this bed. Six months ago maybe. With Sam hating him and him knowing he deserved it, and how that didn't matter in the face of the dumb physical release they both needed, and how they didn't look at each other and it was dark and for Dean's part at least it wasn't even enjoyable, just—an exercise, muscle being used to its highest straining point and then the relief of dropping the weight, endorphins flooding, making it seem worth the effort. The next-day ache something you didn't think about in the moment. Kind of thing you didn't want to remember in the minutes before you died but it came up in the last flickering montage, the way he'd sat on the edge of the bed feeling loose and nasty and drained and just rotten down through every layer down to the very center where the little kernel he relied on to be himself, to be anyone worth knowing at all, had gotten dislodged and he wasn't quite sure he knew how to find it again. Sam had walked out of the bedroom without saying anything and that had felt right, or at least like the least wrong thing, considering all the wrong that had gone on. On the day he died, that last time, even if getting his lungs perforated hadn't been on the top things he wanted to do that day, that last little fleck of him felt like it got pinned down under the blade—he'd been there, at least, and been able to look at Sam and have Sam see who he was, and all the sorries he'd wanted to say and all the fault he knew was his just bubbled up and evaporated into the dank air and he didn't know, then, how to sum it up. All he should've said to his brother and all he felt and there wasn't time to say sorry for that last time. To apologize for all the times before. To go back, down the years and decades, and say wish I hadn't saddled you with all this, and yet also to say—I'm so glad they saddled you with me, and yet also—you are the best part of me, and yet also—and yet also. How impossible it was to summarize what being Sam's brother had meant and would always mean. Because where would he be, otherwise.

Sam hasn't let go of his arm. His heart beats slow as honey.

"This isn't a question," Sam says. Dean's fingers twitch against his leg. Sam's voice is low, even. "I've been thinking of the crappiest things to ask you. Big stuff, little stuff. Every thing I've wanted to know all my life. Things that happened when I was gone. Stuff I know you lied about. Like whatever happened to the Starburst I was saving in my backpack, that time in fourth grade when I wanted to share them with Laura Harris." It's almost a question but apparently not enough of one, thank god, because Sam really wouldn't like the answer. "I want to know how to get that thing off your arm. I want to know why you did it."

Dean pulls his arm off his face. Sam's looking right at him, in the half-light.

"Thing is, I think I know, but I don't know that I know." He seems like he's about to say something else and bites his lips between his teeth instead. He swallows, and shrugs. "Hard to cut out filler words."

That doesn't make sense but that's not unusual when Sam's thinking out loud.

What Dean can't say:

It was the obvious thing to do. Things were real bad between him and Sam but that wasn't the only reason, or even the main reason, he said yes. There was a huge evil thing that was going to just get huger and more evil and he was presented with the only way to stop it and there wasn't, for him, much more reasoning than that needed to do what was necessary. Maybe if Sam had been with him, Sam would've talked him out of it. Maybe. But more than likely, they would've just argued about which one of them would have to get laid out on the sacrificial altar this time around, and after he'd nearly lost his mind and his heart trying to stop Sam from dying last time, he'd be damned if it was Sam who'd die this time, and—he would've done whatever it took to get the thing on his arm and not Sam's. Including betrayal, as bad or worse than what he'd done to keep Sam alive last time. So, it was just as well. He'd defeated the huge evil thing and all that was lost was himself. Not much of a weight on the scales, really. And Sam would be fine. Sam had proven that, half a dozen times over.

"Your pulse slowed down," Sam says. Dean can't even really nod—that seems to count as communication—but it's obvious, anyway. Sam's cheek sucks in on one side and he looks all over Dean's face. "I guess this might be counterproductive, but—your head still hurt?"

"Moderately," Dean says, and then he makes a face. Who talks like that? It makes a little pulse of pain bloom at the back of his neck where his spine hits his brainstem, but so what.

Sam kinda laughs. "Okay," he says, and then sits there, with his hand big and warm at the crook of Dean's elbow and his eyes still on Dean, and his body there, close. God, has Dean missed that. Six months isn't the longest they've gone but—six months feels like a long time, these days. Knowing how quickly the days can run out.

"Sorry," Sam says, first. Dean sighs and Sam gives him a look. Yeah, Dean's got looks too. Even so, Sam lets go of his arm and then lays his hand heavy on Dean's chest, meets his eyes. "This is a question." Dean raises his eyebrows and Sam holds there, lips parted, like he's really thinking about it. Then: "Do I need you?"

Dean's mouth opens and he says, "No."

If it didn't hurt on a number of levels it'd be kinda funny how Sam's face changes. Full-on blanch, like faced with the nastiest-ever monster. Dean's chest feels like it's been hit with a sledgehammer and he pushes Sam's hand away, struggles up to sitting, only Sam grabs him again by the arm, shaking his head, brow all crumpled, but hell—if they've proven anything in the last dozen hours it's that Dean is a mouthpiece for the truth, the ultimate truth, the truth that's past guesswork and implication and is just actual fact handed down from the universe.

"Wait," Sam says, like Dean's saying any of this crap out loud. Dean twists his arm away and puts his back to the headboard, the wall. Sam lets go with his hands held high, face all sorry. "That's not true, though, Dean. It's not true."

Dean looks at the ceiling, because he can't shrug or shout and he thinks if he tried to leave Sam would just fight him about it. If that's what Dean answers then that's the answer. He just wishes Sam hadn't been enough of a dickhead to prove it to them both.

"God, I can't think how to—" Sam touches his leg, and then the center of his chest, and Dean smacks his hand away but Sam puts his fingers right back, like he's sounding Dean's body for answers. "Do you need me?"

"Yes," Dean says, and really ought to punch Sam in the face for proving the contrast, but as he's grabbing Sam's wrist Sam shakes his head and says, quick, "Do you want me?" and the answer to that is, of course, "Yes," and Dean's just about sick with it. Why is he—

"Do I want you?" Sam says, and then fast while Dean's opening his mouth, "I don't know if that's enough. But I do, Dean. I want you here, and I do need you no matter what—I don't know, maybe not to literally live, but I want you, I want you with me, I want to hunt with you and I want to be here because it's where you are, because—god, do you know why?"

Dean's answers blur from yes to no. Sam holds his jaw, curled in weird on the bed, eyes all over his face again, searching. His hair stupid in the back-light from the hall. No, Dean doesn't know why. "I could make you answer," Sam says, tight, hurt. Dean grips his shirt. "I want you. Do you believe me?"

"I—" Dean says, and his throat stalls. His head hurts but nothing's arriving to fill it.

Sam curls forward, his forehead touching Dean's. "This curse sucks," he says, breath hot on Dean's mouth, and Dean can't argue with that but there's this ringing in his ears that's kind of distracting him. Sam's skin smells so good he can't stand it. "I want you. Is that true?"

Dean nods, the answer whispering out.

Sam's thumb dragging over his cheek, rasping in his stubble. Under his sternum there's the weird panicked feeling of having missed a step down in the dark, where your whole body lurches in unthinking terror, but also this weird tight coil of—of he doesn't even know what. Two true things to hold at the same time and if they're true then how could he not believe them?

Sam's thumb pushes hard under his bottom lip, dents it against his teeth. His head dipping, his temple against Dean's. Dean gets a hand on his shoulder and wants to say—fifty things. Wants to punch him, still. A little. Maybe a lot. Six months, though, and how screwed up they've been. His heart thuds low in his gut and his head hurts but so what. He sits up more and Sam moves with him, his shoulder curving in toward Dean, his other hand sliding down Dean's side.

"I don't want to ask," Sam says, soft against Dean's ear, but he doesn't need to. Never has.

[lostgirl677]

Nothing can stop me from loving you Part.1

MoC!Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Platonic!Sam Winchester x PlatonicFem!Reader

Established relationship

A/N: I had this idea for a while now and I had to modify a bit the original plot. I'm sorry if it's a bit out of character sometimes and if that's a bit crappy.

Masterlist

Since the Mark of Cain appeared on his arm, Dean had been different. Angrier, even more violent at times. But it has never stained the love I feel for him. I knew that deep down, he was still the brave man I fell in love with. Our relationship even became more passionate than ever at times. But he had to get rid of it as fast as possible. We lost a lot of people in the process. But the greatest loss was Dean himself. When Metatron killed Dean, it felt like he killed me at the same time somehow. No matter how many times I saw him die, it’s always like a piece of my very soul is taken away from me everytime. Even though it was very traumatic, I still couldn’t remember fully that evening, be it the moment we tried to keep pressure on his wounds, the whole ride back to the bunker or the moment we took Dean’s body to his room. Everything was a blur and numbness threatened to overtake sadness. I could barely remember having Dean’s head on my lap during the ride, my hands gently stroking his hair and whispering sweet words to him. 

It’s been hours and I still had a sore throat from desperately calling Cas for help. I knew that he wouldn’t have been able to help with his grace problem, but I wasn’t capable of thinking properly at that moment.So here I was, in a dimly lit room next to a lifeless Dean. Sam was somewhere else in the bunker, more than probably getting drunk. As I began to feel uncomfortable, I shifted position on the chair that I placed next to Dean’s bed. The more I looked at him, the more he looked asleep, despite his wounds. “Why did you have to try to handle it alone?” I whispered in my shattered voice while looking at his face. I couldn’t believe that he was dead again. When I reached out to grab his hand I couldn’t help but gasp a little. His hands were getting cold. Instinctively, I took his right hand in mine and tried to warm it. It took me a few seconds to realize it was utterly pointless. Tears were forming again at the corners of my eyes. I slowly got up and got closer to his bed. I couldn’t sit next to him, I knew that I would break in tears on his chest and that I would not feel his warmth nor his heartbeat. I just looked at him. Yesterday at that time, we were in this bed, laughing at one of his jokes. Just 24 hours earlier from this. Part of me knew that I needed to accept his death but the other part was clinging to the hope that he could come back.

In order to regain a bit of my sanity, I needed to walk a bit away from Dean and to take a deep breath. So I let go of his hand that I had in mine without even realizing it and walked toward the tiny sink. My breathing was heavy, but not heavier than my heart. I managed to open the faucet and I cupped my hands to gather a bit of cold water to wet my face. Its contact pricked my skin but it helped. As I raised my head, the first thing I saw in the medicine cabinet mirror was Dean. I came back next to him. I just leaned over him again.As I did so and gingerly brushed his face, I saw some of my tears falling on him. For a brief moment, I naively thought that maybe my tears could wake him up. But it only moistened the dried blood of his cuts, making it look like he was bleeding again. 

I suddenly felt on automatic and acted  as if he just came back wounded from another hunt. So I grabbed a first aid kit and a new flannel shirt in his closet. I then took a gauze that I soaked in antiseptic and began to wipe the blood.”It's going to hurt a little” I whispered. I almost expected him to flinch a little, but he didn’t. He was perfectly still. “Hey.” said Sam from the doorway, making me go back to reality. Even in the poor light of the room, I could see his red eyes and his tear stained cheeks.“I think you should come to eat something and maybe shower and change your clothes.” he said in a hushed tone. “Uh, no thanks. I have to clean his wounds and at least change his shirt. And…” He didn’t let me finish my sentence and embraced me in his arms. For a bit, it was calming. I noticed that he had a strong smell of alcohol. “It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.” He whispered as he stroked my back with his giant hands. “Dean wouldn’t like to see you in such a state for him.” I knew that he was right but I couldn’t reason myself. I turned my head to look at Dean one last time then looked at Sam again. I then realized how much of a terrible friend I was. “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t even ask you how you handle all of this.” He released me from his arms and looked at me. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” He simply said. I saw that he was about to cry again. He then directed me toward the door. “Now go to the kitchen to eat something, you need it.” “I’ll go. Just leave me a few minutes to grab clean clothes.” He looked at me as if he tried to analyze my face but said nothing. He just nodded his head and got out of the room.

As I made my way to the drawers, I tried to not look at him again. Even if I managed to, once in front of the drawers, I ended up with various pictures of Dean and his loved ones. I took them in my hands and tried to reminisce about better times. Some were with his parents or his friends, a lot with Sam and a bunch of just us. I swallowed the lump in my throat and when I had the picture of us, feeding each other a bite of pie, I put the pile of pictures down. I quickly opened the drawer and grabbed the first shirt I found. I walked toward the door and turned my head to whisper “I’ll come back, Dean. I promise. I love you.” Then I closed the door.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stomach any food and I needed to change my clothes. So I made my way to the bathroom that wasn’t far from Dean’s room. Once inside, I realized how terrible I looked under the crude light. I didn’t even realize that my flannel was completely stained in blood. Dean’s blood. That thought made me shiver. I quickly got out of my dirty clothes that I threw in a pile on the floor and changed into clean ones. All of them smelled exactly like him. I sighed while looking at my tired reflection and I got out of the bathroom. I was about to go back to his room but decided to go check up on Sam in the kitchen. I was barely halfway to the kitchen and I could already smell the strong smell of whiskey. The nearer I got, the more I tried to prepare myself to see a drunk Sam on the floor. I wanted to stop him from drinking that much but it was useless to argue. The Winchester were both so hardheaded. So, I entered the kitchen as quietly as I could but I found it empty and completely silent. There were so many bottles scattered on the floor that I had to carefully make my way to the counter. There was a plate with my favorite kind of sandwich on it. I didn’t have time to think about eating as a sudden anguish took over me. What if Sam made a terrible mistake? 

I ended up running in the bunker to try and find him. In my desperate search for Sam, something caught my attention and almost made me trip. Dean’s door was ajar and I remembered closing it behind me. The sudden smell of blown candles made me even more panicked. As I entered the room, his bed was empty. There was just a note. I grabbed it with a trembling hand and I read ‘Sammy, Y/N. Let me go’. I screamed at the top of my lungs “Sam! Sam!” I heard commotion on the corridors and stairs, indicating that Sam was running and that he almost fell. He suddenly appeared at the door “What happened? Are you okay?” he said, panting and trying to catch his breath. Then he looked at the bed and it seemed like realization had struck him. He was about to say something, but I didn’t let him speak. “Where’s Dean? What did you do?” I nearly screamed as I grabbed his shirt and showed him the note. He took the note in hand, read it and his expression changed. He then simply said “Crowley” I looked at him in disbelief.

“What did you just say?”I asked him with both my eyebrows raised and I looked him in the eyes. He sighed, closed his eyes and said “I summoned Crowley to help Dean and I guess that he revived him and they ran away.” I didn’t know whether what I felt was anger or a weird kind of relief to know that Dean was ‘alive’ because of/thanks to Crowley. I released my grip on Sam’s shirt and walked away from him. I could read the guilt on his face and I couldn’t blame him. I finally sighed a bit and walked toward him. “I’m sorry , Sam. I don’t blame you. At least he’s back to life. Now we just need to find him” We both knew that it wasn’t okay at all but I didn’t want to guilt him even more. His features seemed to relax a bit at my words but I sensed that he thought about the same issue. “They could be anywhere. Crowley is incredibly resourceful and he probably won’t want us to find them.” he said after a tiny silence. But he seemed to forget something: there had to be something that Crowley wanted out of this deal. “What did you give to Crowley to seal the deal?” Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “I didn’t make a deal with him but I wanted to. I tried to summon him but it didn’t seem to work. I guess that he decided to show up by himself.” His confession scared me a bit more. ”So, we don’t know what Crowley had in mind when he came here to resurrect Dean? Great…” We both knew what it meant: we had to find him as fast as we could before Crowley could put one of his twisted plans into action.

taglist

@vikingqueen28 @mikromoon @hobby27 @multifandomnerd4532

Part.2

[nightwingsfleas]

So this is what I have so far on the Dean Winchester character analysis it's a bit all over because I wrote it while on the bud home but I'm writing it in a notebook of mine in a more clear and organized way then gonna re type it once I get it done

Also if you guys don't mind pls add your own character analysis of your own or just things you've noticed during the series because I really don't wanna mischaracterize him and accidentally make him into a complete different person especially since Dean's whole character is literally so important to me

Also I don't want anyone to think I'm gonna excuse the bad things Dean has done to Sam, Cas, and also Jack. I wanna include the fact that he isn't that great of a person and i still wanna hold him accountable for all the bad things he has done throughout the series

How Dean Winchester is. Given the parental role and also the more “women” or ‘feminin’ role in the series and also by the fandom.

Firstly we will talk about the fact that from a very young age (four years old) when his mother died in the fire he was the one to grab Sam from his crib and ran out of the house while his father stayed back. We see this in the very first episode and was also mentioned in one of the later seasons, growing up he was given the parental role because John (the father) was to busy with ‘grieving” his dead wife to the point that he threw himself and his family into the hunter life leave Dean and Sam to grow up on the road with no real home, they stayed in dirty old motels and barely had money to live off of, you can see this by the fact that they never had Christmas and I know that’s not a very ‘big deal’ BUT the fact that Dean had to sneak off and steal from a random home to give Sam some type of Christmas and also the fact that Dean was arrested for stealing some peanut butter bread and then was sent to Sunny’s home or wayward boys. There was also hints that Dean barley ever got to eat and often have his food to Sam so he wouldn’t go hungry at night, I don’t know if it was ever actually mentioned but it was hinted in episodes where Dean would have flashbacks or it was hinted, you can also notice this with how Dean eats his food, it’s more animalistic and rushed while Sam eats more calmer and also less, that is because Sam never had to really worry because Dean always fed him but Dean never knew when his next meal was so I believe it is a trauma response. Another trauma response is also is his savior complex, in the show we often see Dean more concern for Sam then himself and and could also be a readily for his own self destructive tendencies but we’ll talk about that later- since Dean has taken care of Sam his whole life Dean took on the parental role naturally and also started to relaty on Sam to be there constantly because Sam is his only constant figure in his life much how Dean is Sam’s only constant figure as well. Why is Sam and Dean each others only constant figure even tho they both have John tho? Well that is because John wasn’t the parental figure they needed. They only could rely on each other and no one else, sure they had Bobby but they don’t show him much in their flashback so I don’t know how much of a role he had in their childhood because he only really shows up more in their adult life, I do belive Bobby was there in their childhood because we see Bobby and Dean playing catch in season 7 when Bobby dies but that’s pretty much the only scene we get with Bobby and younger Dean every other scene is when Dean is a adult, so that makes me belive even more that Sam was deans only constant and the same with Dean for Sam. Now, about the savior complex, there are multiple examples of Dean wanting to risk his life for same and wanting to ‘save’ Sam for example

•Dean welling his soul in season 1 to same Sam

• Dean wanting to save Sam from ruby and his demon blood addiction

•Dean wanting to say yes to Michel

•Dean trying to get rid of the mark of Cain

•Giving himself up to Amra

•Even giving his own childhood up for Sam

Etc (look up more of deans self scarification)

We also see Deans self destructive tendencies by the fact he pushes people away, him being a alcoholic, him hiding his own traumas and emotions resulting him to have break downs or out bursts of rage because that was what he grew up on. He never learned how to let his anger out in normal healthy ways I believe that was because of John and how he was raised because we constantly see John being abusive and taking his anger out of Dean.

Again this is super all over the place but that’s because it’s still the rough draft I’m planing on rewriting all of this to make more sense and also I still wanna add more things to this as will because There’s so much more I wanna talk about but just can’t put it in words exactly

[justroaminground]

upside down (Sam Winchester X Reader)

so this one is a bit different. it is a mini-scenario as i like to call it! no smut just fluff. watching movies, series or listening to music gives me those scenarios and that was one of it and i thought why not put it out in the world.

plot: so you're a witch (kinda rowena inspired) and help sam out, safe dean. you end up pregnant by sam and thing's take a turn.

enjoy my mini-scenario! :)

(sooooorrryy for mistake in advance)

___________________________________

shaky fingers clawed into the piece of plastic in your hand. on the little screen it said one word, which put your whole world upside down.

"pregnant"

reading it out in disbelief it felt even more wrong. for solid 10 minutes you simply stared the positive pregnancy test down. waiting for it to change, but no matter how long you were waiting, the result won't change.

you were pregnant.

it wasn't like you're 20 and had a huge problem to tell your mom and dad.

absolutely not.

the problem was, you were a 312 year old witch, pregnant by a hunter. well that sounded like a really bad love/drama with the only twist, it was real to you.

roaming the world for the past centuries you made the best out of it and stayed undercover. you were banned from the one and only huge coven and had to stay undercover or else you would have been killed.

now that a lot has changed since then, you decided to get back to work and follow the one and only dream you had. being the queen of hell. on the way there you had to face some major obstacles, but nonetheless you made it. still not the queen of hell, but you were getting there.

a few months back you decided to help sam, safe his brother from the mark of cain. it took the winchesters quiet some time to get the book of the damned, but they made it. hearing all the stories about them, you weren't really surprised to hear they got it. even though there were some really bad things roaming heaven, earth and hell, the winchesters had a name, which they protected.

you decided for yourself to stay away from them, only to be summoned by sam himself one day. he trapped you and made you help him or else he'd kill you. since you were on your own and you knew there could be some obstacles waiting for you, reaching your goal of being the queen of hell, you decided to help him out, in return of him having to help you out if you were in need. he agreed and from there on it happened.

you've settled in a old house about an hour from the bunker and had everything you needed to translate the book of the damned. from time to time, sam joined you and supported you. he brought snack's, you two had many late night talks and one thing lead to the other and you two grew together. one night thing's just got out of hand and before you knew it, you woke up in his arms the next morning.

this was about 2 months ago and it was the one and only time every you got intimate with him. both of you knew, this wouldn't have a future. sam from the beginning on, let you know, if you screwed him over he'd kill you without any hesitation. he also mentioned that, if dean found out, he'd track you down and probably kill you aswell. nonetheless sam had a sweet spot for you and you knew that.

looking back you couldn't wrap your head around, why you even said yes to that, but it must have been the risk. no risk no fun, right?

well, there you had your risk. slowly coming back from your trans, you felt tears filling up your eyes and weren't able to explain, how this was even possible?! how were you able to get pregnant?

you weren't intimate in ages with anyone, because you never felt something like attraction or the need of closeness. but with sam it was just different. he made you feel so many emotions at once , gave you the feeling of being important and even made you more human again. it was a deeper connection you felt towards him and you knew he felt the same, but both of you held back. knowing that if you were to close, the separation would hurt even more. there was only one way, why you got pregnant from him. sam being your soulmate. it was the only opportunity of being able to even welcome a baby as a witch. the only way to get pregnant was, if the partner you were getting intimate with was your soulmate.

you threw the pregnancy test into the trash can in the bathroom and went back into the kitchen. on the kitchen table were all the book's, notes and stuff from translating the book of the damned. your eyes looked around the room and you shook your head, still not believing what you just found out. tears rolled down your cheeks sobbing to yourself.

"this just can't be it.." you whispered to yourself, trying to pull yourself together.

walking over to the long mirror in the hallway you pulled up your shirt and looked at your belly. holding your shirt up with your chin, you laid both hands on your tummy, feeling and watching it from all angles. nothing's visible of course. you did have a small tummy but you always had that, soft and squishy.

hearing a knock on the door, you jumped shocked aside and quickly pulled your shirt down.

"hey y/n! it's me!" sam's well-know voice, echoed through the door.

"fuck fuck fuck" you whispered to yourself and check yourself in the mirror. fixing everything you could in the short amount of time you had and took a deep breath. before opening the door you put on the best fake smile you had and swung it open.

"a rare visit we have here!"

"i know, i know." sam laughed and walked past you into the house. "thing's have been busy. you know dean's just not himself.." he continued and you closed the door.

"no worries, that's what i thought" you gave him a warm and understanding smile. for a moment both of you just stood there, when he finally moved over and took you in a long and loving hug.

"are you okey?" sam whispered into your hair and softly stroke along your back.

you simply nodded against his chest, not wanting to go any deeper into the topic. his simple presence gave you butterflies in your tummy and you already felt way better. funny how someone made you feel so many things's after centuries of not feeling a thing. for a few minutes the two of you just stood there arm in arm and he gently pulled away.

"are you sure..?" slight worry was seen in his features and he stroke a few strands of hair aside.

"yes, i was just up late the past few nights.." you explained to him, not even lying. well not really. you did stay up late, but it just wasn't the real reason you felt the way you do.

"well, i am here today and i will stay until tomorrow! need to catch up with all the hours i stayed away!" he smiled and clapped into his hands.

you raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide a laugh. "well sammy, quiet late!" walking past him, you made your way into the kitchen and took a note from the table. hearing the heavy footsteps behind you, you knew he was following you closely.

raising the note you looked at him and smiled. "in my hand, i have the three ingredients for the spell."

his face got all serious and his jaw clenched. his hand reached for the note, but you pulled it away.

"ah, ah, ah samuel" you told him in a warning tone and hid it behind your back.

"y/n!" his eyes got serious immediately, stepping closer.

"i want to hear our deal again." stepping another step back, you hit the kitchen counter with your lower back.

"stop playing games, or do i have to remind you of your job?" sam warned. when it came down to the spell, things got more serious and he was easily triggered.

"what's the deal sam!" you asked calmly again.

his hands rolled into fists and it took a moment for him to answer. "immunity from us."

"exactly." you breathed out, with a huge smirk on your face and handed him the note.

his eyes flew hungry over the note and he right away took his phone out. dialing a number. it beeped a few times and he left you standing there in the kitchen.

loving moments with him, sometimes ended like there was never more, but both of you were pretty good at hiding what you really felt.

a few minutes later he came back and put the note back onto the table. he leaned with both hands down onto the table and exhaled in relief.

"a friend will get the thing's and by tonight we can do the ritual."

"what friend?" you asked and walked over to him, letting yourself down onto a chair.

"doesn't matter."

"i thought we were kinda..close?" hesitantly you took one of his hands into yours and squeezed it gently.

"that's the problem" he gave you a look and you were able to see he was hurt.

"all i wanted was to safe dean, no matter the consequences, but i am just not willing to lose you at any cost. same with dean. i am torn between the two of you and i can't stand this any longer y/n" he continued and pulled his hand out of your grip.

"what are you trying to say?" not really sure of what he was up to you looked at him confused.

"after we've done the ritual tonight, we have to stay apart from each other."

"what?!" quickly you got up. "i get it we may not have the apple pie life like the normal kids, but aren't we worthy of someone in their life?! aren't we worthy of feeling the way we make eachother feel?!"

sam stroke through his hair and shook his head in desperation. "don't make things harder y/n. if dean get's a hint of what is going on here, he won't hesitate for a minute. he'll track you down and-"

"kill me." you cut him off and nodded. it wasn't the first time, the two of you talked about that, but it was the first time, you weren't able to ignore the risk of dying. you weren't alone anymore you had someone to keep safe. therefore you stayed quiet and turned away from him. tears rolled down your cheeks but you stayed completely silent.

sam kept quiet himself and simply hugged you from behind. pressed you needy against his body and placed a sweet kiss on your neck. "you mean to much to me. i don't want to lose you. i prefer to think you're happy out there, than dead somewhere burned. i am not saying we aren't allowed to meet every again, i am just saying we need to keep our distance for a while."

enjoying the past few hours with sam around, like he used to be, you soaked it all up. that night the ritual was done and sam as well as castiel stayed with dean in the bunker. you never knew how it went down, but you remember sam's words and took of. you packed your few belongings and moved on.

----

two months passed and you lived in a motel in nevada. being pregnant kinda changed you into taking more care of the risks you took. therefore you stopped hunting down your goal of being the queen of hell. you sat back and took more care after yourself. of course you still practiced your witchcraft, but in a very different way. you jobbed at a nearby hospital and helped the people heal.

you haven't heard from sam in a while, but thought of him every night. during the daytime it was easy to keep yourself busy, but laying there in bed. all to yourself, your thoughts circled around him. wondering how he is doing, what he is doing, what it would be like if he was here, what he'd think of the baby and much more. the only reason you were able to handle the situation of staying away from him so well, was because you carried his baby with you. so kind of a part of him never left you.

your fingertips stroke softly over the skin of your belly and you felt how your tummy has gotten harder. it used to be more soft and squishy. now it was firm and when you were wearing something more figure hugging it was visible you were pregnant. you loved your little baby belly. with every month your belly grew you accepted the fact that you would raise the baby all by yourself.

almost falling asleep a shrilly sound of our phone woke you up. tired you grabbed it from the other side of the bed and tried to read who it was. not being able to make out who it was, you just figured out it had to be someon from the hospital and simply answered the phone.

"it better be a emergency sarah!" a tired laugh left your lips and you rolled to the side.

"i am not sarah, but it indeed is a emergency." a well to known voice echoed through the phone and your eyes widened.

you quickly sat up and felt your heart race against your chest. "s-sam?"

"i'm sorry, if i disturbed, but i need you" he explained and by the sound of his voice, you could tell he wasn't well.

"tell me where and i'll be there."

"thank's." sam whispered and with that he hung up.

not thinking a second of it you jumped out of bed and got ready. putting on a dress aswell as some tights. you threw a jacket over it and packed your important things, already leaving the house. by the time you reached the car, he sent you the location of the bunker and you drove there. it took you a few hours, which felt like forever since you didn't knew what was going on, your mind created thousands of scenarios.

reaching the bunker, sam let you in and you couldn't help but fall into his arms. you hugged him tightly against your body and buried your face in his chest. inhaling the well known scent of him. his strong arms held you closely against his body and both of you stayed like this for a few minutes.

not knowing if you were allowed to talk you just looked up at him and stroke gently over his cheek. a loving smile on your lips took in every feature of his.

"good to see you, up and healthy" he whispered quietly and placed a small kiss on your forehead.

"missed you too." you answered and nodded.

"please.." he gestured you the way and he took the bag from you.

you made your way downstairs and at the bottom of the stairs one man was waiting. right away you were able to tell, he wasn't human, but couldn't make out what he was. sam followed closely behind you and walked trough the hall, placing your bag on the table.

"cas meet y/n!" sam talked into the mans direction.

"hello y/n" the man said and looked at you from head to toe. "i am castiel. an angel of the lord." he continued.

your eyes widened. "a-an angel of the lord?" you repeat in disbelief and looked from castiel to sam, which joined the two of you.

"yeah.." sam chuckled a bit and nodded. "cas has been thorough a lot with us and is literally family.." sam continued.

"still a weirdo though!" another voice added and you looked into the direction the voice came from. a tall man, not as tall as sam, but tall. brown short hair, green eyes and a bright smile on his face.

"so this is the one and only witch?!" he came closer and switched his gaze from sam to cas. stopping right in front of you.

Looking you up and down with a very suspicious look on his face. dean turned to sam with a chuckle and shook his head. "never!"

"dean." sam gave dean a warning look and took a deep breath. "she's one of the oldest witches. y/n was able to survive all these years unnoticed and is our last chance to read the book of the damned." sam explained as calm as possible.

dean turned back to you again and sighted. "if you screw us over.." he moved his hand to his belt and lifted his flannel. revealing a gun. "you're dead" seriousness in his eyes made you shiver under his gaze and you swallowed hard. back then you would have started a fight right away, but not now. not now, risking the baby being hurt.

"dean calm down!" castiel puut one hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"n-no it's fine i get it.." you spoke up shaky and smiled nervously.

sam gave you a warm smile and you were able to read the sorry across his face. "let me update you on the case.." not being able to answer, sam pulled you away to the table which was covered in books.

"uhm..wow this already looks exhausting" you chuckled and sat down.

while sam updated you about the new case, castiel and dean still stood there and whispered about something. you were sure they were talking about you, but you didn't show any reaction towards it. you would work this case through with them and leave just as fast as you came. maybe spent some special time with sam, but nothing more.

"y/n?" sam's voice brought you back into reality and you looked at him a bit surprised.

"uhm..sorry! the drive was pretty long and..uhm well i am a bit all over the place i guess.."

"you're right where are my manners! i'll get you something to drink!" sam excused himself and quickly left the room.

looking over to the place cas and dean stood, they were gone. where were they?! you moved in your chair, feeling a bit uneasy, when cas finally came into the room.

"dean is sometimes very suspicious about new people." cas just stood there awkwardly and looked at you blankly.

"well i think i understand.." with a nervous smile you turned a bit into his direction.

"there is something off with your...aura" cas spoke out very randomly and tilted his head.

"sorry..?" looking at him in confusion.

"it's like there are two? like a little one in your..usual one?" cas tried to explain what he saw and you were able to tell by his gaze, he was literally studying you.

was he able to see the baby's aura?! was this even possible? would he even feel it?! quiet nervous about these thoughts you swallowed hard and cleared your throat.

"oh, uhm i was always told i am something special" nervously you laughed and turned back to the table.

sam appeared back in the room, joined by dean and the two sat down at the table with you.

"cas stop being weird and scaring our visitor." sam told cas and pointed to the chair.

"sorry." cas said and sat down.

sipping at your tea you listened carefully to sam and dean. by removing the mark off dean, you've released the darkness, which caused a whole lot of problems. you knew there was a price to it, but you never knew it would be this big. their hope was to find a spell in the book of the damned to lock the darkness away. that was the part you had to support them.

"so..do you think you can help us with that?" sam asked hopefully and smiled.

"i removed the mark off dean, releasing the darkness so it is my duty to find a way out of this." you nodded your head slightly and looked at the three of them. "it is the right thing to do..right?" a warm smile appeared on your lips.

you were able to see how the tension was released, after you said that and you looked at dean. he took another sip of his whiskey and took a deep breath, leaning his upper body forward, supporting his weight on his elbows, fingers on his chin.

"what's in it for you?" his low voice and strong gaze made you nervous again and you looked down into your cup.

looking back up at dean, you met his gaze again. "i just don't want to die."

dean raised and eyebrow and was quiet confused about that.

"what?"

"you heard me right. i just don't want to die." you said again.

"so no "queen of hell", "being the baddest witch alive" or whatever blah blah?!"

"dean just take her answer?!" being annoyed by dean's behavior, sam raised his voice a bit and looked at dean.

"really sammy?! are you that stupid?!" dean got louder and stood up in one shot. "you're telling me this is one of the strongest witches and her behavior is all vanilla and she doesn't want to die?! do you even listen to her?!" anger wore down on his body. his hands were balled into fists.

you knew exactly what he meant. you never behaved like that, but right now you had to. there was no way, you would risk the health of the baby, but you also understood why they didn't believe you.

before sam was able to shoot back, you got up and raised your voice.

"during the past few months, a lot has happened. i don't ask you do understand any of that, but like i said, the only thing i want is to live. i am not screwing you over." laying your eyes on dean, it only confirmed he was still not impressed. he stood there at the table and simply looked at you.

being to quick for anyone to react he grabbed your neck and pressed you down onto the table. sam and castiel shot up in shock and immediately tried to calm dean down. a hurtful squeal left your mouth and you didn't move a bit.

"dean what the fuck stop it!" sam rushed around the table and dean held his hand up, gesturing sam to stop as well as castiel. both of them stopped in their tracks and complete silence filled the room.

"i am giving you this one last chance, to tell us what your plan is and why you're helping us so willingly, or i will torture it out of you" his raspy voice filled the room and his fingertips buried their way into your neck.

another gasp left your mouth and tear swelled up in your eyes. "please i am begging you, s-"

"answer my god damn question!" dean raised his voice and you were able to see that sam was on and about to jump at dean, if he made one more move.

"i-i'm expecting a baby" you whispered quietly.

dean's hand immediately moved from you and pulled you back up. he turned you to look at the three of them and you took a sharp breath in.

sam's face went pale and the shock was written all over his face. all the thing's he wanted to ask were written all over his face, but he had to hold them back. dean nodded slightly and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"sorry..i-..you know we don't get this a lot.." dean tried to explain his actions and sighed.

simply nodding in response you pushed the chair aside and slowly sat back down. "i was surprised too.." you laughed insecure and looked at cas. his face lit up, because now it made sense why he saw two auras instead of just one.

the three sat back again and silence filled the room. sam supported his chin on his hand and the elbow of his arm on the table. staring absent on the table. dean leaned back in the chair and scratched his neck, rethinking his action and castiel just sat there and looked at sam and dean. before the awkwardness grew you cleared your throat and spoke up.

"so..uhm we need a spell to lock the darkness away right..?"

"yes!" dean quickly nodded.

"is there anything we..already know?"

"no not really..dean was the only one seeing her.." sam added and looked at dean.

"her? so..the darkness is a woman?" you laughed and looked at them.

"i was just as surprised!" cas added and shrugged his shoulders.

dean just nodded and you thought about that for a minute. "all i learned about the darkness was that, she was looked away before any life happened on earth. she never got in touch with anything we know." you explained.

"well explains why there is hardly anything about the darkness anywhere.." dean sighted.

"i will head off and check some of my possibilities." cas told you and right when he finished, he disappear.

you jumped slightly and looked back at sam and dean. "still have to get used to that.." you laughed slightly.

"you never will!" dean added with a small smile. "uhm..i am really sorry for what i just did.."

"it's okey. sam and cas are probably the only ones you have and you want to protect them." you calmed dean with a smile and rested your hand on your tummy. "i feel the same." you added.

you were able to tell that dean was very sorry for what he just did. his fingers reached for his glass and he took the last sip of his whiskey. "i feel like we should just rest for the night and continue tomorrow. the guy right here is in his dream already!" dean laughed and patted sam on the shoulder. "so let's head to the rooms. you're is the second on the left, right before the kitchen, bed is made and everything you need is there." dean said and went off into his room.

which left the two of you alone in the room. you felt the anxiety creep up in your body and looked at sam. his gaze was still on the table and his jaw was clicking. his breath was heavier and you were able to tell by his posture he was about to say something. he just didn't knew how.

"how?" he spoke up and his voice cracked.

"i don't know.." you answered confidently. you knew exactly how this was possible, but you knew how overwhelming it already was for him to know that you're pregnant. you didn't want to completely shock him and tell him witches were only able to get pregnant by their soulmate. that was a fact you weren't able to handle yourself properly.

"is it.." he stopped in the middle of his sentence and inhaled deeply. it looked like he thought about his question again. "is it mine..?"

you just knew this was going to come sooner or later, but you hoped it wouldn't. nonetheless the situation was here. "yes without a doubt. you were the only man in..ages i got intimate with.." the last few words were just whispers.

sam let out a tone you weren't able to identify. his hands stroke over his face and he buried his fingers in his hair. resting his head for a long moment in his hands.

you got up and checked the hallway, before moving over to his side. you stopped at his chair and rested your hands on his shoulders. "see, i don't know how to calm you down. i was just as confused, concerned and just scared as you are right now. but if it helps, nothing changes. i am working this case and i will leave again. you won't notice anything you don't have to care about me..well us"

he moved slowly and he was all over the place. he just looked at you and back down at your belly and back up at you. "i'm sorry i don't know what to say.." he whispered out and shook his head. "i never thought i'd find myself in a situation like this.."

you couldn't help, but laugh. "well..me neither" you confirmed and sat down next to him.

a small smile formed on his lips. "it's not like i never thought about it. it's just that..you know this life.."

you cut sam off and took his hands into yours. "you don't have to explain anything sam. i know just exactly what you mean. nonetheless it is what it is right now."

you just nodded and squeezed his hands tightly. once again he looked at your belly.

"what month..? i am not able to..you know, see the belly." he explained a bit insecure.

"the 4th month. i am just pretty good at hiding it.." you smiled and looked down at yourself. you pulled the dress a bit tighter and a tummy made itself noticeable. a whole lot of emotions overcame you and even though it felt completely wrong you loved it. you loved being pregnant, you loved sharing this with sam and him being the father. there was no way out no and to your surprise you didn't even wanted a way out. it was the part of you, you fought with for the longest time. being so naïve and weak to believe, you were able to live a normal life, but there you were. pregnant and full of hope.

his eyes widened a bit and he looked back up at you again. "that seems so..unreal." he mumbled more to himself.

"it has been a lot. i feel like we should rest and..you know let it sit." gently you stroke the back of his hand with your thumb and smiled.

"yeah you're right.." he agreed and simply pulled you into his arms again. "i do wanna care about..both of you y/n" he whispered against your temple and kissed it.

the first shock was over after a few weeks. you stayed with them for a while since the goal to lock away the darkness wasn't as easy. you and cas, aswell as dean grew together like friends and it felt like everything worked out for once. dean still didn't knew it was sam's baby, that was just one thing both of you weren't willing to share to anyone. it was just another day which passed and you got ready for bed. after having the talk with sam, the two of you needed a bit of space, adjusting to everything and haven't really had much time together. tonight was going to be different since dean and cas decided to work a case a few hours drive away from the bunker.

throughout the day you still hid your baby belly since you still felt very insecure showing it too much. you were used to only see it in bed or when you were alone. you knew it wouldn't work out forever, but you did as long as you could. wearing baggy sweaters or dresses most of the time. so you pulled another hoodie over your head and before you were able to leave your room, you heard a knock.

"come in!" you said and sat onto the bed.

sam came in, with a cup of tea in his hand and placed it on the nightstand. joining you on the bed.

"how are you feelin?" he asked and reached for your hand. holding your hand in his and slowly but gently massaging it.

"well i can tell the baby is growing.. i can feel my back and my feet, but it's fine" you explained and relaxed your hand in his grip.

"i know..we didn't have much time to ourselves lately, but..cas and dean are out and we have some time for ourselves. may i see the belly..?" sam asked a bit insecure. "if you don't feel comfortable, that's fine! i just..i just really wanna feel the baby i guess.." he explained and had a hard time finding the right words. you could tell it was burning deep down in him and of course you wouldn't deny his plea.

you carefully took you hand out of his grip and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. taking the seem of the hoodie into your fingers you slowly liftet it up, revealing the babybelly to him. sam's eyes followed every little move you made and when he saw the belly his eyes got a bit watery. you took his hand into yours and placed it gently on your belly. his big hands covered half of your small belly and you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. goosebumps covered your whole body and even to yourself this was a huge moment.

his hand gently pressed against your belly and a smile formed on his lips. "gosh..that's my baby.." he mumbled in fascination and switched his gaze from your tummy to you.

you smiled at him and rested your hand on top of his. his face got closer and you put your other hand onto his cheek. he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. you kissed him back and melted into the kiss. finally feeling completely at piece for once. all the worry and anxiety shifted off your shoulders for once and you were present. not worried about the future. it was just sam, the baby and you.

[shallowseeker]

I think it was you had this meta about how dean as when he's a leader has to be like a doctor that does surgery on his own family. This image stuck with me! I looked but tumblr won't let me find it. Was this yours? Do you know it off the top of your head?

I think you're talking about this? TFW are fascinating disaster parents and I dig it. There's a snippet at the end that compares Dean to a doctor operating on family.

///////

SNIPPET:

Dean craves safety and being protected, but that’s somewhat incompatible with protecting everyone

Dean never got to be valued and protected growing up, so he secretly craves that. But Sam is correct in his psycho-analysis. Dean’s neurosis is wanting to protect everyone, and this is often fundamentally, violently incompatible with letting your family fight alongside you.

All things considered, Dean rarely resorts to going lone wolf, like with the Mark of Cain. Despite his discomfort, he tries to marshal everyone under one roof, and that often results in a degree of my-way-or-the-highway type rigidity as a means of neurotically trying to keep everyone safe.

In fact, Cas often avoids this dilemma altogether by going lone wolf. (They all do this on occasion, but Cas's background as a soldier is especially tired to this. Mary, as a child soldier, has this issue, too. Jack has the same issue in AU earth when he tries to run away to confront Michael on his own.)

................ When the fights get too BIG (as they often do in Supernatural), Dean cannot ensure the safety of his loved ones, and he freaks the fuck out. When Dean can neither protect nor stop family/comrades from going into danger, you get these coping mechanisms:

Benching the player: “Wait, you might get hurt, so I’m gonna say that I don’t trust you to be in that fight at all so maybe you won't!" Sometimes, this need to kick people to the bench comes out as a barb: “You’re an incompetent baby who does stupid things. Baby in a trenchcoat. You’re an idiot. To Jack: You’re 98 pounds soaking wet.” etc etc.

Fatalism: “I’m powerless / this whole fight is meaningless / there’s nothing we can do / we have no choice.” All members of TFW slip into this in different ways. Giving up is a natural part of SPN, something that each family member goes through depending on the psychological wound of the moment.

Denial: Other times, Dean downplays the danger, which can result in meanness and occasionally a lack of support/neglect.

With regards to Cas, we see an even more colorful option deployed and one of my all-time favorites: goading him into being stronger. It's a barbed version of, “You can do it, Cas!”

SAM: Tell me again why you don’t just grab Adam and shazam the Hell out of there. CAS: Because there are at least five angels in there. DEAN: So? You’re fast. CAS: They’re faster. (CAS takes off his tie and wraps it around his palm. Dean looks on worriedly. ///Aside: Hilariously, two seconds later Dean is like WAIT YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ON FIVE ANGELS? :((((( )

Cas doesn't fit in his pre-conceived notions of anything

In early days, Dean is incredibly spun out and confused by Cas, who he wants to be protected by and protect. In the beginning, in season 4, he’s still wanting to think of Cas as invincible.

Post-Cas’s first death, Dean tries to pin him down as brother, and at times he even infantilizes Cas as he evolves into needing to protect him. 

But bottom line, he just can’t make Cas FIT. He’s a comrade, but there are extra layers to their relationship that get confusing real fast. We get these Dean coping mechanisms in seasons 5-6 alone!

(A) Goad him into being more powerful and better so he’s safe

(B) insult him to underscore that he’s in danger and maybe shouldn’t be fighting at all

© go full denial and pretend the situation isn’t that serious blah-blah Raphael

I think in season 8, Dean figures out what those extra layers are, and in season 9, they deal with rejecting each other by accident, and in season 10, they’re respectively dealing with their past traumas and baggage. Then, in seasons 11-12, they’re grappling with the whole embarrassing and terrifying fiasco of wanting to commit to each other.

But to my point about cosmic family members, there’s this simmering tension concerning the danger of celestial power running throughout. A feeling of:

“Dude you’re kinda scary and I instinctually know this because I’m a seasoned hunter. But I’m gonna keep ignoring that gut instinct because reasons.”

And confusingly, there’s also this feeling:

“I can’t really protect myself from you, since you’re stronger than me. And I’m not strong enough to protect you from your enemies… or stop you from leaving.

See this quote from season 8:

CAS: See, it wasn’t that I was weak. I was stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn’t want to be saved. DEAN (distraught): What the Hell are you talking about?

Dean was SO upset that Cas let go. That he didn’t even try. (Dean and Cas often give up, but they become unhinged if the other partner gives up.) For someone like Dean, whose instinct is to squirrel away his family in a protective underground bunker? That’s a tension that feels devastating.

///

As a main character/battle commander, Dean knows that tactically, Jack and Cas will take on big, scary responsibilities by virtue of being, as season 15’s Belphegor so eloquently puts it, “the muscle.”

…and this is in direct conflict with Dean’s baseline need to protect everyone.

He doesn’t want to gamble with them at all. (See season 12's "We gambled with Cas, and now Amara's got him!") He wants to say, “you’re more than a weapon,” (13x14 Good Intentions script) and Cas wants to tell him, “in times of peace, I can be.”

DEAN: Cas, you’re more than a weapon– CAS: In times of peace I can be, but if (war) is coming…

....

TFW and the burden of leading

This, at times, makes Dean a rigid, unhinged leader. That’s because he’s too often sending his own fam into battle. And who wouldn’t be unhinged about that? There’s a reason we don’t operate on our own family members in a medical setting, for example.

When Dean is a leader, he can be like a dog with rabies foaming at the mouth, backed into a corner. It’s the worst.

Sam, on the other hand, fares pretty well as a leader, because he values independence so highly, and that kinda works for him. (He’s pragmatic and he dissociates very effectively.)

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

My brain divides SPN into several… i don’t know… Sections? Seven to be exact (I think).

Season 1-2

Season 3 (cuz I always forget it)

Season 4-5

Season 6-10

Season 11-12

Season 13-14

Season 15

At this point I’m in fact not sure, why it’s like that? But between these sections it felt/feel like something changed, like a new book began or smth like that.

I am personally fond of 4-5 and very fond of 6-10.

The first two seasons seem like a separate thing to me because it‘s like, what they originally wanted the show to be about i think? The Prologue or smth so to speak.

Season 3, I never know what happened there, when we rewatched it I was frequently like „Oh! That was season 3?“. There’s just not much that really sticks out? Besides Dean going to hell maybe. Which I only remember because Cas pulled him out in 4.

Seasons 4-5, the apocalypse, I think I liked the concept of it? Dean & Cas‘s chemistry of course, Lucifer, the angels. I just enjoyed it.

Seasons 6-10, Cas betraying the boys, the Leviathans, Sam being soulless, Purgatory, Benny, Dean having a Crisis every other episode, Charlie, Metatron, Rowena, Alex, Donna being introduced, Claire being reintroduced, Crowley, the Mark of Cain- all examples of concepts & characters I adore. There is a distinct change after Season 5 was over, in Dean and Cas’s characters especially. Probably because it was supposed to end after S5? Whatever, I really enjoyed that. It was fun.

Season 11-12, I don’t remember much? I think it was the Amara/Darkness & Men of Letters Arc thing? The concept of the Darkness was nice. God, Lucifer and the whole squad teaming up to get rid of her was kinda cool I guess? Ketch was… I don’t know a little weird at first but I got used to him? Never grew overly fond of Mary’s character. Jack‘s birth of course was… something. Over all neutral ig. I don’t know why this is distinct for me, but I feel like something changed after 10 was over, can’t put my finger on it though.

Season 13-14, I’m currently watching 14, I think the whole parenting thing with Jack they‘ve got going on is nice. I‘m currently enjoying the whole Micheal trying to destroy the earth & possessing Dean arc and whatever the hell is going on with Nick. Gabriel coming back in 13 and the girl squad with Donna, Jody and the kids feeling more… prominent (?) was fun. What changed here is probably conditioned by Jack being added as a character. I like him, but it kinda changed the dynamic I guess? Also because it kinda conditioned everything that happened afterwards.

Season 15, I haven’t watched it yet. From what it looks like Dean’s character gets ruder than I‘m used to? Especially to Cas? Then there‘s the Destiel confession (that I naturally know about) and the weird way Dean dies in the end. Even though I haven’t seen it yet it already kinda feels like they were hastily trying to abruptly rip the whole thing off? Correct me if I’m wrong. I‘ll report back when I watched it, currently I’m rewatching in German (currently S6) with my mother who hasn’t seen the show yet.

I don’t know what this is supposed to be? I think I just wanted to rant about this whole section thing in my mind and how/why I like said sections. Maybe also for me to write it down and make up my mind about this stuff, because as I’m rewatching the show I’m reflecting and thinking about stuff a little bit more.

If you want to you can add on with your own opinions on the seasons & how/if you section them. Or if you can/want to add any bonus information.

I enjoy reading other people’s opinions & takes.

Anyway have a nice day. And thanks for reading.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e11 first born (w. robbie thompson)

this reminds me a bit of teen wolf in the plot overload disorder. i don't think i even bothered mentioning abaddon last episode. too much shit going on! also makes me laugh that we're in the 1800s, teen wolf also had this very weird (not good) flashback for the history of the argents (in the 1700s) 😂

all right, i know it's cain here, but i don't know anything really beyond that. except the mark at some point.

CROWLEY So...is that boudoir smile for me?

crowley's back in his sweet spot of evil but also maybe helpful but also probably trying to fuck you over. much better than just flat evil

CROWLEY I've been chasing that blade for decades. The closest I got to it was when one of my droogs -- Smitty -- got wind of a protégé demon of Abaddon's who claimed knowledge of the blade. Sadly, before Smitty could nab the guy, a hunter by the name of John Winchester nabbed the protégé. I'm here to see if there's anything in the John Winchester memorial library that might lead us to the first blade -- to killing Abaddon. DEAN You want to hunt? With me? CROWLEY I do love a good buddy comedy.

i know people talk up how crowley feels about dean but to me crowley is just horny for literally everyone and/or no one. sheppard is just so charismatic in this part

why is this so cute!

laughed out loud, good one. i'm the BEST liar, i totally fucked you both over, don't you remember??? don't besmirch my lying abilities, bro

i thought being totally sober would make me less loquacious but sadly, no ;(

CROWLEY Is all this really necessary? I mean, I've been inside your brother. We're practically family. DEAN Listen to me. We are the furthest thing from family. You got that, dickbag?

while dean does like to adopt every stray he comes across, the king of hell apparently doesn't qualify 😩

cas seemed disappointed about the lack of an actual guinea pig. understandable

sam barely keeping it together haha

hello sarah connor 🔥

CROWLEY I can help. Dean? DEAN He wants Abaddon as dead as I do. TARA If your daddy could see you now.

stop the doom spiral of guilt, dean. it's complicated, okay??? and shooting the floor in her own shop to break the devil's trap, what the actual fuck 😂

CROWLEY Would you care to join us? TARA Him? Anytime. You? Never.

hot lady who banged his dad, of course she wants to jump dean too. reminds me of this

s7e19 of grave importance

SAM Annie's not usually this late, is she? DEAN No, never. She's totally compulsive. I'll try her cell. SAM You know, uh, you know she and Bobby had a thing, right? DEAN Yeah. Yeah, I knew that. Really? SAM Yeah. Kind of a foxhole thing – very Hemingway. DEAN Huh. She and I kind of went Hemingway this one time, too. SAM All right, well... that happens. DEAN What, you too? SAM Look, it was a while back. We ended up on the same case. She was stressed. I-I-I... I didn't... have a soul. DEAN That's a lot of foxholes.

what a pretty face! i don't know much religious lore but i wasn't expecting cain to be scary for crowley. i have no idea where he lands in the food chain, in fact

DEAN Why don't you just zap out of here? CROWLEY I'd never leave my domestic partner in crime. DEAN [snorts] Yeah, like your heart grew three sizes. You can't zap out of here, can you?

i wonder if crowley could make it an entire day without flirting with anyone

CASTIEL Sam, the trials. You chose not to go through with them for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather than to sacrifice yourself. You and Dean... You chose each other. SAM Yeah, I did. We did. And then... Dean made a choice for me.

😔

how does finding gadreel fix things?

cain became a demon, okay (aha things are clicking that i know from fic lol). so with the whole dean and sam are descended from cain and abel, does that mean cain is grandpa? uncle?

CASTIEL No. Why must the Winchesters run toward death?

good question, cas

sometimes i wonder how things are lit (in all media, not just spn), if they're trying to give the appearance of someone being on the verge of tears. when you got that highlight near your lower eyelid, it really looks like it regardless of actual tears accumulating. anyway,

SAM My life's not worth any more than anyone else's -- not yours or Dean's...or Kevin's. Please. Please, help me do one thing right. Keep going.

oh, sam.

@shinelikethunder linked this fight scene with rhianna's s&m over it, i may not be feeling the vibes op is talking about but i can appreciate it nonetheless :) it's a really good fight scene for jackles and great song choice. i'm always mourning the spn that could have been with better music 😔

looking to see if there was a clean version on spotify of s&m out of curiosity and laughing that there's a kids version of the "sex in the air, i don't care i love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me" song

DEAN Right. Yeah, except I didn't kill my brother. CAIN You saved yours. Why? DEAN Because you never give up on family -- ever. CAIN Where's your brother now, then?

ouch.

also, cain is retired, other demons didn't know where he was, but apparently he still gets the hot gossip on the winchesters somehow.

CASTIEL Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do. But nothing is worth losing you.

oh i see

ah fucking hell speaking of music, this melody is back. what did i associate it with last time. twilight and something. i think when dean was praying in his room to cas. it's at the very end of this post, i included video of it - s8e16

something about this mushy music has me feeling twilight or hunger games and i'm not sure which. ugh. bella's lullaby / rue's music (but that doesn't even have piano but it does have that plucked acoustic guitar like day before yesterday's s8e14 princess bride-esque music)

and apparently it really was time for sam and cas quality time. but anyway this melody is so familiar, kicks in when cas says the thing about him screwing up more than sam. is it a slowed down version of some spn theme? urgh. question may go unanswered until i rewatch from the beginning.

so anyway, that was a nice moment. i like how robbie is writing cas this episode

DEAN The jawbone of an animal. The jawbone you used to kill Abel because he was God's favorite. CAIN Abel wasn't talking to God. He was talking to Lucifer. Lucifer was gonna make my brother into his pet. I couldn't bear to watch him be corrupted, so I offered a deal -- Abel's soul in heaven for my soul in hell. Lucifer accepted... As long as I was the one who sent Abel to heaven. So, I killed him. Became a soldier of Hell -- a knight.

listen i don't know these stories except for very broad strokes but okaaaay interesting twist

ABADDON We could have been forever, but you chose her. Well, if I can't have you, then neither can she.

i see. ex and you're her... creator? complicated

welp. i didn't know dean was getting the mark in this episode, wheels are in motion

aw. sweet sammy

CASTIEL As far as I'm concerned, Metatron is the key to fixing everything that's wrong. I'm gonna find him. You know, Sam, we could use all the help we could get to find Gadreel and Metatron.

--

CROWLEY You don't mean that. We're having too much fun. Listen up. Even with the Blade, we're gonna need all the help we can get against Abaddon. DEAN Go find the Blade. CROWLEY It's always something with you boys, isn't it?

cute. but yes, show sure likes to do it!

i'm sure it's fine

[nash-bby118]

Found this Supernatural ask meme by funnycas or whoever they may be now cause god knows how old this is.

Also I’m bored as fuck at work at 4:25 AM.

Favorite male character - Crowley my beloved

Favorite female character - Jody

Favorite actor - Mark Sheppard, Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles

Favorite actress - her name escapes me but its Jody’s actress.

Favorite episode - All the monster of the weeks from seasons 1-11. Plus season 8 finale and episode before the S8 finale.

Favorite quote - “No one in the history of torture will be tortured with the torture you’ll be tortured with.” Or however that line goes. Deleted wise: “Even when I lose, I win.”

Favorite season - 1-5 plus 8

OTP - Crobby and Crowleyxmyself

NOTP - Sam and Becky

BROTP - Dean and Benny + Dean and Crowley

Favorite demon - My main babe Crowley

Favorite angel - Cas and Gabe

Favorite monster - Does Garth count considering…

How did I discovered Supernatural? - Netflix suggested it to me ages ago when season 8 either was still airing or just finished.

Have I ever been to a con? - Yep in Pittsburgh!

Make me choose between two characters - Crowley or anyone? Who do you think?

Make me choose between two ships - No.

Top 5 characters - Crowley, Sam, Dean, Cas, Bobby

Top 5 ships - I don’t have that many ships for the show

Top 5 angels - Cas, Gabe, Balthazar, Gadreel, and the douchebag Metatron.

Top 5 demons - Crowley, Crowley, Crowley, Crowley, and Crowley. I genuinely don’t care about other demons except maybe Meg 2.0

EDIT: How the fuck did I forget my boy Cain?! Especially when I talk about Psych too lol

Top 5 monsters - Ghosts, Werewolves, demons, shapeshifters, and changelings were freaky

Favorite fanfic - ….no.

Most hated character - Casifer

Favorite villain - Crowley in season 8. Lucifer in the early seasons

Character I think I’m more alike - probably Sam and Charlie

Dream crossover - Supernatural and Psych even though it makes zero sense and different channels and all.

Character death that I’m not over yet - Crowley :(

Most layered character - Crowley

Character I have a crush on - Crowley

Actor/Actress I have a crush on - Mark Sheppard

Scariest moment - Dunno off the top of my head.

Favorite moment - Crowley being hugged and thanked for once in his sad demon life. And Dean telling him family doesn’t end with blood or however that scene went.

Funniest moment - Dunno

Saddest moment - I think we all know the saddest moment for me

Most beautiful scene - when Bobby got to go to heaven

Unanswered questions: Literally anything about Crowley before season 5

Couple I’d like to become canon - None tbh

Actor/Actress I’d like to see on the show - can’t answer it’s over now

Do I own anything related to the show? - a bunch of shit I have laying around.

Do I have any tattoos related to the show? - no

Most boring plotline? - the Leviathans and season 12 as a whole

My less favorite season - 12-15

Most well done character death - Jo & Ellen

Most well done character development - Dean’s

Character I wish I could bring back - Kevin Tran

One thing I really hope to happen - Nothing since it’s over

Favorite relationship - None

Top 3 crack ships - *Shrugs*

Characters I wish they’ve met - Crowley and Charlie. Actually Crowley and anyone he hadn’t met yet.

Demon!Dean or MoC!Dean? - MoC!Dean

Soulless!Sam or BoyKing!Sam? - BoyKing

Jimmy Novak or Emmanuel? - Jimmy

Godstiel or Casifer? - Godstiel. Fuck Casifer and what he did to my husband.

Crowley or Lucifer? - Crowley

Did I joined tumblr because of the show? - No

Did I watched the show because of tumblr? - No

What characters from other shows I’d like to see on Supernatural? - Psych. Be weird with Cain and Zachariah being Lassie and Woody

Do I still like the show? - Absolutely. Even though I was done with it for several years after the season 12 finale. My recent reoccurring dreams of Crowley brought me back to it.

Did Supernatural really ruined my social life? - Did I even have one to begin with?

Is my blog just about Supernatural? - My blog literally changes with my latest obsessions.

Do I have cast members I don’t really like? - Not really

Characters that deserved better - Crowley

Am I excited for the new season? - ….

Early seasons or the recent ones? - 1-5 plus 8-10

Top 10 Supernatural blogs on tumblr that I really love - I think they are all dead.

5 things I love most about (insert character’s name here) Crowley: Hot, Charming, his accent, his beard in later seasons, He’d kill for you if you’re his friend

Human!Cas or Angel!Cas? - Angel with his wings

Who I’d like to play human!impala? - god damn I wish this happened.

Did Supernatural changed my life in any way? - Not really.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why Erika Shinohara is insufferable:

Doormat of a character

Impulsive liar, would rather take candid picture of a boy she didn't know than to admit friends that she's single, Naive to the point of being stupid, worst masochist rep since the 50 Shades of Grey protag

[disfrutalakia]

please omg drop the list!!!

Anon you enabled this, I will have to go looking for a bunch of destiel scenes oh no how sad I am /j

Under a cut just for precaution, cause there will be links!!!

1 - "Point of no return" fight scene my beloved, this is mostly cause I think that they would fight on an alley actually, like stray cats or some shit

2 - THE MAN WHO WANTED TO BE KING!!! Literally one of the best television episodes ever made and I'm not even being sarcastic. The scene of the ring of holy fire <3 The look of betrayal <3 screams 4halo to me

3 - The classic, the beautiful, the best one of us all, the crypt scene. Again I just think that beating each other up while Forever was brainwhashed on happy pills would have been good for them (it would have made them so much worse <3)

4 - THE PRISONER FIGHT THE THINGS I WOULD DO FOR YOU. That's them right here, on the current arc, no other words it's just them, the perfect flavor of fucked up.

5 - This one isn't exactly a destiel scene but, Dean i general on season 10 when the whole mark of cain thing was happening makes me think of Bad so, here have this scene. I spin it on my brain on the daily

6 - This one is another one that is here purely based on vibes <3 Just I love this scene, it's raw and it hurts and I love every second of it

7 - Every time they have their weird gay divorces that's what I picture

8 - Last one, the reason why 4halo will never confess is because one of them will end up at superhell <3

Oh boy this got longer than I intended but yeah, well here you go anon <3 enjoy the weird way my mind pictures 4halo.

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 11 Part 2

part 1 here

Chuck is God!!!!! Ughhhhhhhh. So that’s why he was a’ prophet’ huh? That’s why he was the author of the supernatural book series in the show??!?!?!?!! Cuz he was God and posing as a human, hiding in plain sight? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

Writers probably thought themselves clever for that but they kinda gave it away, especially in his cameo in 10x05

That’s why he kept saying those things the way he did (or maybe not) “This wasn’t supposed to happen…” the apocalypse was supposed to play out as planned - Sam & the devil become one, Dean gives himself over to Michael - archangel cage match - world ends. But God chuck just let it rock when the Winchesters diverted from destiny? But the apocalypse keeps coming back in one way or another - the Leviathan cuz of what Cas did in seasons 6 & 7.

The Mark of Cain from the OG Cain, Abbadon

Metatron fucking shit up cuz he’s a spiteful hoe!

But of all the bodies he could’ve made for himself - he chose a tiny white man?!?!!? Really? Not gonna lie, Rob Benedict is super cute but as the vessel of God, nah son. Be morris chestnut or Morgan freeman like In Evan Almighty or even Jason Mamoa. Be a large and in charge imposing person. Or even a woman - why not? It’s fiction - given what’s they’ve said at this point about Christianity, Catholicism, God, angels and such, why not?

Metatron high key doing the usual when confronted with the Creator. Asking all them questions - the whys - why did you leave us? Why didn’t you help us? Why this, why that - why, why, why?

God ain’t no mood to answer questions - he ain’t got no time for that.

How I feel about the whole God thing - its weird for me to watch this show cuz I was raised Catholic by my momma and my uncle who I stayed with for a time converted to Christianity which I am more inclined to believe in honestly - the praying to saints thing I never really got - they’re just devotees & martyrs who devoted their lives to - you guessed it - God. But given all I’ve been exposed too. And I’ve heard the Gospel and all that - at the end of the day - God doesn’t owe us anything. There are many people out there who’ve been exposed or encountered God and the Christian/Catholic faith especially in the Western hemisphere in some way and they’ve been turned off God and religion cuz of certain events that happen in their life and they prayed and their lives didn’t get better. No miracles came their way. But that’s not the point - God doesn’t owe us anything. The fact that we’re here, that we exist for better or worse - that’s enough. That may trigger some but it’s the truth as far as I see it. We owe God but God doesn’t owe us.

Though an argument could be posed - at least for this show - that because God made us he has some responsibility to the beings he made - which is what I think Metatron, Dean and others are trying to express to Chuck in the show. But clearly, Chuck doesn’t wanna be responsible and as the creator of the universe- he doesn’t have to be and that’s terrifying to the beings at his mercy, i.e. everyone lol.

Back to the show lol. Family drama between the devil and God - Luci acting like a petulant child. Like he’s God, he’s not just your dad. Why would he feel he’s in the wrong. I guess i’m on God’s side - that makes me bad doesn’t it. I mean i’m rooting for the Winchesters but I get God’s point - he just doesn’t wanna say it because the Winchesters will hate him - as the creator he doesn’t owe anyone an apology. And God made a counter argument - if Luci were in God’s position and had a rebellious subordinate that was going out of their way to corrupt and destroy his creation- what would the devil have done - and I believe God’s point was that the devil would have done the same thing more or less. And I think he’s right. But in the end God apologized to his devil child. Lol see what I did there ;P

We meet Donatello this season too. Wonder how long this guy’s gonna last :/

Lol he said - ”but I’m an atheist” - like that fucking matters please! Then when he meets Chuck, he gets all nervous and starstruck. Way to stick to your non beliefs lol. I get he got concrete proof but no pushback at all? Chuck’s response - I believe in ME. He ain’t sweating nothing, as the real God wouldn’t!

Amara torturing the devil - HA! As far as I’m concerned he got off easy. So did Crowley for that matter but then again - if this show had been on HBO they would’ve been as brutal as GoT - I don’t even wanna imagine so we’ll just move on.

Chuck found Dean’s porn stash - wonder what specifically he had on there 😏

Moving on!

Metatron died!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!! Huzzah!!!!!!!!! Woooooooo! I’m just surprised he decided to sacrifice himself I mean really?!?!?!?! He was always so slimey and self-serving/preserving. It was odd but anything to get rid of him I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also - this is God’s sister we’re talking about - she is his equal. One depowered former angel ain’t gonna do shit against her. The combined smiting power of all remaining angels of heaven couldn’t even hurt her. I mean are you joking?

He died as he lived - a troll.

What an interesting little chapter God has written for himself here cuz I don’t believe for a second he was ever in any danger. Chuck is just a role he’s playing and he returned to the fold cuz of the fallout from Dean losing the mark of Cain. I think he enjoys being Chuck so he can shirk the responsibility of being Him. Everyone wants him to help, to be there, to be this benevolence that Chuck doesn’t feel he’s beholden to be.

Anyway - the Winchesters & Chuck amass a strike force - but in retrospect did any of them believe it was gonna work - I mean. Originally I think they said God and his archangels - Michael, Lucifer, Raphael AND Gabriel worked together to take Amara down. But they only have one archangel - what the fuck happened to Michael they should’ve brought him back - Luci’s in Cas so Cas can’t do anything but bring in the angels for support - Crowley, Rowena, the only thing they excel out is outliving the Winchesters’ friends tbh - and chuck who didn’t really do anything - I mean talk about delegating XD

All that effort - angels AND demons and while they did some damage to Amara - gotta build up some endurance girl! - and all that was done was fuck up her makeup. What was that staff by the way - that actually managed to hurt her but when presented with the prospect of being sealed away again, girl was NOT having it! She tried to kill God right there!

And sam was gonna take on the mark of Cain, really?!?!?!?!?!? The hell?!?!?!?!?! Chuck you ain’t slick. He wants the brothers to kill each other - really makes me wonder how many sets of brothers were subject to this aside from the Winchesters and Cain & Abel. I know I said that in my season 10 recap but still!!!!

Lol when the Winchesters said they’d respect each other’s choices to sacrifice themselves - ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - what a load of crap!

Cas got freed of the devil - so yay? Dean is relieved to get his angel back. But he goes on to bro-zone him. Not even friend zoned but bro-zoned OML 😂😂😂😂😂😂

And of course when the shitty plan to defeat their big bad antagonist goes tits up, the only natural response is - TO DRINK!! Lol Rowena cuddling up to God - funny considering those actors are together nowadays.

The men of letters - not gonna bring them up - I don’t give a shit 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 clearly they’re gonna be an unwelcome addition to season 12

With some further brainstorming they deduce that a) Amara can be killed with a mega soul bomb, making me think about b) dragon ball Z when Goku would use the spirit bomb (not exactly the same but I find it similar) but c) that’s kinda fucked up - what happens to all those souls???? I didn’t care for that at all.

Since Dean is the one with the ‘profound bond’ (what else am I gonna call it?) with Amara, Dean’s gonna get the bomb put inside him so he can kamikaze himself along with Amara.

And what would’ve happened to Dean then? Go to heaven? I guess we’ll never know.

Dean’s Rowena imitation 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The fact that Cas wanted to go with Dean 🥺

How Dean smiled in the angel’s embrace.

At the end of the day though, all that was needed to save the day was a calm family discussion between bro and sis, with Chuck and Amara disappearing into (where did they go?!??!?!?!) somewhere…….cuz Amara just changed her mind. Okay….

But finally - Mommy’s back

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay??????????

Dean was shooketh. This would’ve also been an interesting opportunity to bring back John. And ADAM!!!!!!!!!

Why stop at mom, bring back the whole fam for a long season of dramatic family drama, have Supernatural go full soap ahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Wow I had a lot to say about this season - didn’t plan on that but only 4 more seasons after this. What a ride its been so far.