#but the way i got an anon saying she is 50 times better and more genuine than redacted

[tayonces]

sza is one of the best singer songwriters of all time and i really mean that

[caramelkoo]

no questions asked— jjk

Jeon jungkook wants nothing more than to get settled with his girlfriend, but what if her fear of commitment makes him take a step back? Will he do it, or will he be able to changer her mind for good?

pairing : Jungkook X reader

genre : established relationship, smut, fluff

word count : 6.6k (im begging for forgiveness)

Based on this ask <33

warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature, oc is an anxious girly (same), mentions of emotionally unavailable parents, jungkook is a man of dreams, simp boyfriend jungkook, car sex, unprotected sex (be safe), begging, reference of titanic if you squint, yeah that's pretty much it.

a/n : this took million business days lmao but finally it's here. the sweetest anon requested a drabble but i couldn't do it and as much as i tried to make it shorter, it got stretched to 6k words 😭 so im deeply sorry anon. the rest of you who enjoy longer fics, dig in. I love you guys so much, you might not know this but yall are my besties for resties. kisses. 💌

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Your boyfriend is going to propose to you.

Oh god

Oh. my. God.

Anxiety is not a foreign feeling for you. Although this time, it’s an indescribable sort. Something which is lingering in the deepest pit of your stomach for a lack of better word. Besides, there’s a mayhem inside your head, the voices are loud and intimidating, causing you to bite your lip to a point where they bleed while also staring at nothing. 

Jungkook has been nothing but secretive— the poor boy has no idea that you have already seen the navy blue box sitting inside his side of the drawer. You can swear it was totally unintentional.

In your defense, you had been searching for your glasses and that was the only place left to fish around. Nobody could have prepared you for the utter shock when your eyes fell on that box and so for a minute or two you just stood there, horrifyingly still and stunned. However, you recovered quickly, because to be quite honest it was about time one of you mustered up enough courage to ask the question.

It’s supposed to make you thrilled right? So why does something feel… off? 

“Penny for your thoughts?”, as soon as Cherry’s voice reaches your ears, you snap out of it and flash her a forced smile. 

“Yeah-” you begin, “Yeah uh- I’m just thinking about nothing in particular.” 

“_____ you’re an amazing girl but you gotta work on those lying skills.”

A chuckle leaves your mouth. You shouldn’t even have bothered in the first place, the girl can read you like a book. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours huh?” 

She picks up the book before scanning it with the barcode scanner all the while you marvel if you should tell her or just let it go, but then you also know how she would become a pain in the ass if you don’t spill the beans to her. Anyway, she can;t make you overthink it any more than you already have. 

You bite your lower lip before saying, “I feel like Jungkook is going to propose.” 

If looks alone could kill, you would have been buried deep by now with the way the man wearing an olive green cardigan, probably in his 50s, gives you side eye when Cherry drops the book with a loud thud on the counter. 

You wince.

“I’m sorry what?” 

When you subtly signal her to pick what she’s dropped, she takes a hold of the book, apologizes to the man who— you’re hundred percent sure hates your guts now, and resumes her work. 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Ha! Girl you better start telling me more or none of us are going home today.”

She’s talking to you but her hands keep shuffling between scanning the books and expeditiously typing on the keyboard.

A spark of hesitation finds a way inside your heart. The thing is, you’re not sure. Do you want to marry the love of your life? Absolutely. Do you think you can keep the marriage going and stable? No. 

There you said it.

And that kills you because jeopardising your bond and connection with Jungkook is the last thing you want to do.

Maybe, it’s because nobody in your family has been able to keep their inner spark alive after they had gotten married or you might as well blame it on the relationship your own parents have had before your eyes. 

For everyone who couldn’t see past the walls of your house, your parents were an ideal couple. A pair who were equally efficient and successful in their respective areas of life. With your father being a renowned businessman and your mother holding the title of a world famous fashion designer, they couldn’t have been a better partner for each other, right?

Wrong. Too bad you had the honor of being an onlooker of their facade slipping away before getting replaced by their real impudent selves. 

But that’s all you could do though. You were merely just an audience. Someone who could see everything shatter before her eyes and not do a single thing to put an end to it. 

Constant fights, fuming with jealousy over one of them achieving more than the other, sabotaging each other.

All hell broke loose when they began making you take sides. 

You think mommy is better don’t you, honey?

You should be proud of your dad, ____. You’re living such a luxurious life thanks to me. 

For the love of god you were five. What does a five year old know about luxury or human ego? What could you have possibly known about who is better? In your eyes, they were your mom and dad and not some squish mellows placed side by side from which you had to take your pick. Let’s not even start with the emotional unavailability they provided you with.

A knot lodges in your throat and you struggle to get the words out. “I happen to see the box inside his drawer”

“You’re sure it had a ring inside- Wait, don't answer that”, she shakes her head as if she just asked the most ridiculous question ever.

No shit.

“But that’s a good thing right? I mean you guys have been seeing each other for a while now and marriage is the final stop.” she continues and you can’t help but feel terrible, because she is making sense. 

A sigh leaves you, “Yeah no- I mean yeah it is but I didn’t expect him to take the initiative so suddenly. No hints were dropped at all. Marriage is, gosh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but it seems intimidating to me.” 

The queue has finally dissipated at this point so she faces you fully showcasing her engrossment in your dilemma. The girl feeds off drama but refuses to get involved in one.

Her expression morphs into something between horrified and sympathetic. “_____, is that because of your parents?” 

Your heart skips a beat. This whole time you and only you had authority over this thought that your fear of marriage is deeply rooted in your own parents’ fucked up relationship. A belief that lay sly and unseen.

Only after those words left Cherry’s mouth did you realise how venomous they sound. It makes you aware that the fear was not as concealed as you intended to keep it. What are you supposed to do when you find out that somebody else knows about your deepest terrors? Run? Hide? Or simply not say anything? 

Your mouth feels suddenly dry. “What?” 

Cherry takes a hold of your palm and rubs it gently, “If it is, I want you to know that it’s not the case for everyone. Marriage is a beautiful concept, a lovely commitment. Are there some pitfalls to it? Yes. But that’s the beauty of it. The way two people come together and resolve them-”

Your phone buzzes inside your pocket causing you to flinch. Releasing your hands from her hold, you take it out and see your grandmother’s number stare up at you. 

“I’ll just be back.” you excuse yourself just as a woman places a stack of books on the counter.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

“Hey, beautiful” you greet her, a smile lighting up your entire face.

“My baby, did I catch you at the wrong time?” her voice is like a balm to your heart. So warm and comforting. It reminds you of your movie nights with her where you didn’t have to be anything or pretend. You just had to exist and she made it worth it. Always. 

“Now you know even the devil himself can’t stop me from talking to you.” 

A loud chortle reaches your ears and you imagine her throwing her head back, laughing. 

“I was calling to ask if you and your eye candy of a boyfriend are visiting home this year for thanksgiving, dear?” 

Dear lord, you can’t believe you forgot about that.

Your eyes widen, and just when you think you could bubble up some other lie, she speaks up, “You forgot, didn’t you?” 

Yeah, bold of you to assume you can do that and get away. You actually need to work on your lying skills. For whatever reason. You want to pluck your eyelashes out one by one because of how gloomy she sounds.

“I’m genuinely sorry, grams.” pinching the bridge of your nose you continue, “I’ve just been busy with work and barely making ends meet. I promise this is the first and last time I let it slip my mind.” 

With the job you have, there’s only so much cash you can count and while you would love to make a career out of writing, the thought of publishing your own book sends shivers down your spine.

Every time you open the draft a new mistake pops up, taking a percentage of your self confidence down the drain. You’re only human. A microscopic slip catches your attention and you start questioning your life choices. 

“Honey, come home and give yourself some time off, what do you youngsters like to call it? Oh yes, grind. Yeah?” 

It’s your turn to laugh. “Wow someone has been too into love island lately.”

Cherry raises her eyebrows from across the room and you mouth her the word ‘grandma’. She nods with a smile on her face, going back to work. 

A long stretch of silence hangs in the air before you hear her ask, “_____, what else is wrong?” 

The smile which has been adorning your face this whole time instantly drops. You blink.

Once

Twice

Thrice 

“I don’t understand.” Liar.

“You know what I mean, baby. I want you to tell me more, because I know something has been bothering you. What is it?”

Humans are so funny sometimes. They can be as close to you as your own soul and not have a hint of your torment. Meanwhile, there is your grandmother, who despite being so far away from you just….. knew. But again, it has always been like this hasn’t it? 

Whenever you got tired of your parents throwing stuff around the house, making each other lick the floors, trying to make their own and your life a living hell, she knew. 

She was the one who allowed you to cry, and assured you that she would not call you dramatic if she happened to hear your sobs.

You were allowed to cry,

You were allowed to ask for help,

You were allowed to not hold back.

Sucking in a deep breath, you release it, “Everything else is perfect, grams.”

Mr William is always the first person to greet you everyday when you reach the apartment. He’s been working as a guard for years now and you’ve grown quite familiar with him. While being the sweetest man you’ve ever come across, he also brings his wife’s yummiest tarts for you whenever she makes them. Arguably, they deserve more hype than they get.

“She knows how much you love her tarts” he says, making you feel immense gratitude towards his kindness. 

This particular night, he seems…. restless. He’s shifting from one foot to another as you shut the cab’s door behind you. Striding over to him, you mentally try your best to figure out his uneasiness. 

Clearing your throat, your throat as you ask, “Is everything alright, Mr William?” 

Only after he hears your voice, he gains his composure. Or so he tries. 

He hands you a piece of paper which feels a bit wet and you wonder what could have been so intense that the man began having clammy palms.

It’s nearly concerning, not to mention it doesn’t help with your own anxiety at all. If not, shoot it up. 

“Your boyfriend dropped by around lunch time, miss. He handed me this and asked me to give it to you as soon as you come back from work.”

He couldn’t have given it to you yesterday when he was with you in the first place? Weird.

“I see, but why are you so tense? Has something happened?” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My wife has been sick and I was supposed to leave early but I figured it would be better if I gave it to you safely before going home to her.” 

Fuck

“You could have given this to me later. Your wife comes first, sir.” you gulp, “Please, I appreciate your gesture but she needs you more. Thank you so much and please let me know if I can be of help.”

He releases an empty chuckle. “Thank you, Miss” 

With one last nod you walk inside the building while also hoping he doesn’t call you for help. Not because you won’t do anything it takes to help him, but because you hope it wouldn’t come to it. The moment you shut the apartment door behind and turn on the light, the piece of paper steals your attention. Without waiting any further, you unfold it, coming across Jungkook’s writing. 

The note alone feels like he whispered it into your ear before placing the softest kiss on your skin. Your lips stretch into a serene smile as you stride over to the bedroom, turning the doorknob as your gaze catches a purple bodycon resting on top of your bed. It is accompanied with a bouquet of pink tulips as well as a bar of Dubai chocolate. 

Your head that has been nothing short of a commotion is now finally at peace. Not entirely but at peace nonetheless.

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Jungkook was 12 when he went on his first roller coaster ride. He was, like every other child, afraid. Afraid that he might fall and hurt himself so bad, he wouldn’t ever be able to get up. The roller coaster had a massive drop followed by a corkscrew which took him upside down. Until the moment Jungkook saw a woman in yellow dress buying a bunch of tulips from the flower shop he very often visited, he had never felt his stomach bottom out as strongly as it did during that drop back then.

There she was, chatting with the florist as if they’re best friends. He could see her behind the glass picking out the pink tulips before sniffing them. Meanwhile, Jungkook stood across the road, soaked and enchanted as he wondered if he should ask for her number or chicken out. Eventually, the latter won. 

But here’s the thing, Jungkook is not one for losing. He hates losing, even the term makes him want to peel his own skin off. 

He saw her hair first, becoming curly locks reaching down to her waist and just above her hips. Granted that his line of sight only allowed him to see her side profile, he assumed she was gorgeous. It was not unlikely for him to see beautiful women on a daily basis, but something about her just sucked him in. His eyes could not leave her face and he believed even if they tried, he would pluck them out just to punish them. Was it weird that his hands itched to hold a woman he doesn’t even know? 

What’s her name?

Where does she live?

What’s her favorite color?

How does she like her coffee?

There’s a japanese phrase called koi no yokan which means that you eventually will fall in love with a person you meet. You’re going to grow so fond of that person that you would want to see no one by your side but them. She was that person for him. 

He rubs his hands for the nth time in a futile attempt to warm them up, waiting outside ____’s building. How is this evening going so slow? He has been here for perhaps half an hour now, so why does it feel like it’s been a decade? 

And funnily enough, the only person who can put him out of his misery is _____. At this point, the guy fears he wouldn’t be able to so much as look her in the eye, but not doing that will be the end of him too.

He looks down and lets his hands run over his black button down shirt, wondering if she would like it. She loved seeing him in black on the first date. A loud click clack of heels grab his attention, perking his ears up. He looked up and there she was in all her glory. 

Jungkook releases a breath and rubs his chest as if his heart hurts. As if it’s telling him how unworthy he is of this woman who is walking up to him, who may be as nervous as him but still chose him as her man. 

The woman who could have anyone she wanted wrapped around her pinky finger gave her days, nights and evenings to him. She smiled at him, for him and if he was lucky, because of him.

_____ stops before him while he’s still adjusting to the sight of her. “How do I look?” 

Unreal, exquisite and way out of his league.

He shakes his head from side to side, thinking of a single word that would suffice the answer to that. He fails and so instead he runs his fingers down her forearm until he reaches her soft hands and takes it into his own cold ones. 

Placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, he begins. “My imagination of you in this dress has got nothing on this vision.” 

Her face morphs into the softest expression of love, “And exactly how many times have you imagined me in this dress, Jeon Jungkook?” 

He takes a step forward, his chest almost touching hers. “I can’t answer that. You want to know why?” 

“Why?” Her voice is emotionless. His thumb grazes her lower lip as he tries not to smudge her nude lipstick. “Because if I do, we’ll have to go back into your apartment and try not to wake your neighbours up.” She swats his chest and softly pushes him back, dissolving into a giggle. 

“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” she says as her eyes shamelessly check him out. His sleeves are halfway folded stopping just below his elbow, beautifying his tattooed forearms.

He’s also wearing his favorite blue baggy jeans with his usual black chunky boots. The same ones he goes for when he knows _____ might not be able to bear the pain caused by her heels, so he ends up swapping them with the boots.

He would argue carrying her all the way to her apartment instead, but settles elseways. 

Jungkook opens the car door for her and only after she’s well seated, he runs to his side and takes off. 

The ride to the restaurant is quiet despite the obvious tension that doesn't go unnoticed by either him or her. As much as he would like to spend the rest of the night snuggled into bed with her, he knows there is something more significant than that. So instead he indulges in caressing her thigh. 

“After you, angel.” He places a hand on the small of her back. 

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The ambience looks straight out of the movies. Like a paradise. Violinists are playing a chorus of Fuck her gently by Tenacious D far across the room. 

Jungkook catches an unknown look on her face. “Something’s wrong?” 

She shakes her head, flashing him a smile. “I love this song.”

He places a tiny kiss on her temple. “I know, baby. C’mon.” 

You know how women have this killer instinct of knowing if and when somebody’s watching them? It’s like they have a separate pair of googly eyes on the back of their head to protect them from creeps. 

From the moment you have entered the place, the man in the wine shirt has been making a hole in your face with the way he’s been staring at you. 

Is your dress too revealing? Are you showing too much skin?

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Your grandmother called earlier today.” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts. 

You gulp down the last piece of steak before answering. “Let me guess she asked you to join her for thanksgiving?” He nods, a bright smile on his face. “I told her I would love to.” 

A cheeky smile unfurls slowly on your face. Jungkook loves your grandmother. Maybe a little bit more than you do. Just a tiny bit though. Last year when you and he visited her, he was the first person apart from you to get a hug out of her.

Your grandma is not much of a hugger by the way. Her hugs are totally exclusive. 

“I’m sure she loves having my ‘eye candy of a boyfriend’ there.” 

Jungkook snorts, placing his fork down. “She called me an eye candy?” 

He dissolves into a fit of laughter when you answer his question with a nod. 

“See now that’s the biggest achievement I have had in a while. I mean what are the odds your wife’s grandma calls your an eye candy-”

Something sours in your stomach. The steak here tastes awful or maybe it’s just you feeling pathetic that as soon as he says ‘wife’ your expression morphs into something so dreadful that it causes him to stop. What are the odds that you just gave him a reality check and dragged him out of a fool’s paradise?

“Angel, what’s-” 

You stand abruptly, cutting him off yet again. His eyes bob all over you, and then a sad frown puckers between his brows. 

“I’ll just be back. I need to use the washroom.” You say as you grab your handbag as quickly as you can before leaving him there. Confused and wondering what the fuck just happened?

Few minutes later, just as you’re walking outside the washroom and making a way towards your table someone’s voice causes you to stop midway. 

“Excuse me.” 

Turning to face the person, you come face to face with the same man from earlier. The one wearing a wine colored shirt along with a nasty expression. You believe he’s trying to look cocky but is failing miserably.

“Can I help you?” 

A slow smile spreads over his mouth. “I couldn’t help but notice that the man you’re here with seems to upset you in some way.”

An awkward chuckle leaves you. “The man is my boyfriend and I don’t think it concerns you if he’s upsetting me or not.” 

He walks a little closer. Oh no, this is bad. 

“Fair enough,” he shrugs, “But clearly he’s not being a good boyfriend, is he?” 

The audacity of this man.

You huff out a frustrated breath, “Listen, you need to shut up and stay within your limits. It’s not healthy going around poking your nose into everyone’s business.” 

His sly smile grows even more as he steps closer than before. 

The hair on your body stands up, and not in a good way, but in a very uncomfortable way. You suddenly regret the idea of leaving Jungkook’s side. Bad, bad decision. 

Currently, you have two options. You can either just walk off and act like nothing happened, which by the way, is a safe option or you can kick the man in the balls and then act like nothing happened.

Since you're much more accustomed to the former option, you decide to do just that but when his hands grip your wrist with an iron grip, you settle on the latter. 

You knee him between the legs with an intention to hurt him as he grunts in pain, his hands gripping where you just kicked him. 

“You fucking bitch.” 

Before he can say anything further, you storm off. Your phone buzzes inside your handbag and you automatically assume it to be Jungkook’s call. As soon as you spot him across the room, you feel the clouds parting, there’s a feeling threatening to arise. It’s something between protected and anguished. 

Anguished because you let your mind speak so deafeningly that it silenced the oh so loud love Jungkook has for you. And protected because you know for a fact that if he had any idea about what that man just did to you, he would not think twice before dragging him by the hair before bringing him to his knees in front of you to apologize. 

He stands once he sees you and you waste no time running towards him. Your arms go around him as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. His arms immediately embracing you in return, securing you against his chest.

It feels warm.

Concern laces his voice as he says, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Breathe” 

You don’t even realise you’re panting unless he says that. You’re aware that at this point the way you flung yourself at him must have got everyone’s attention. But you genuinely don’t care. It might as well be an auditorium full of people watching you hug your boyfriend like an anchor, you just don’t care. 

You realise that’s exactly what Jungkook is. Your anchor. Someone who didn’t even ask as to what happened before he straight away began consoling you. 

His hand envelops the back of your head in a protective way while the other soothes your back. 

“Do you want to leave? We can leave right now if you want to.”

“Yes, please.”

His body shakes as though he just nodded. “All right, let me pay real quick and we’ll leave yeah?”

Your voice is muffled against his chest. “Yeah.”

You suck in a sharp breath as he lets you go. The small folder on the table grabs your attention. He opens it only to find a note inside of it saying— “It’s on me, gorgeous”. 

You can see the wheels in his mind turning, but before he starts asking you any questions which may or may not cause a breakdown of yours, you say, “I’ll explain it to you outside. Can we please go?” 

“Let me see wh-”

“Please?” He lets out a defeated sigh and nods. “Yeah- Yeah let’s go.” 

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At first when Jungkook saw that note, the first emotion that he felt was rage and a very serious one at that. But it was soon replaced by realization. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that something nasty went down after _____ left to use the washroom. Something he can’t wait to get to the bottom of. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her to be pressured to answer the more obvious question. 

Jungkook’s girl is attractive. She’s kind and empathetic and fucking stunning which makes her worthy of all the attention she gets. Of course men are going to want to be with her. 

Initially, it bothered him. A lot. 

Now, though? He’s grown rather used to it. However, it has never come to having someone pay for her in a restaurant. Even the thought of someone so much as speaking to her in an inhumanely manner makes him want to punch a hole through a wall. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

The silence is too loud inside the car. He can hear ____’s heart beating loudly or is it his own?

She’s leaning back with her head against the headrest. When she doesn’t respond, Jungkook speaks again, “_____ baby, will you please at least look at me?” 

Her eyes connect with his and he flashes her the softest of smiles.

Taking her hand, he kisses the inside of her wrist where he can feel her pulse. 

Thump thump thump. 

“I want you to give me something, angel. Anything.” 

He can see her gulp before admitting, “There was um… there was a guy outside the washroom and he kind of tried to force himself on me,” she closes her eyes for a brief moment, “Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I handled him.” 

Jungkook’s stomach drops. He was right. His hands fly out to open the car door before _____ holds him back. “Don’t. I said I handled it.”

He turns back, his voice leaking with anger along with something more barbaric. “And I’m proud that you did, but if I don’t go in and beat that asshole into a new one I won’t be able to call myself a man worthy of you anymore. I need him to know that he can’t fuck with my girl and go about his goddamn day.” “Jungkook, please. I can’t take it anymore. Please stop.” 

And he does. For now. 

He leans back, running his hands over his face with frustration. For a few minutes he and ____ just stare outside the front glass of the car. The parking lot slowly gets empty as people leave for their homes one by one. 

Just when he thinks  _____ has dozed off, her voice reaches him. “Can I get one more hug?” 

“Come here.” 

He takes her into a warm embrace before kissing the top of her head, settling his lips there. His anger has yet not fully dissipated, but having her so close calms his heart. It calms his whole being. Her touch, her breath against his skin, her presence heals something in him.

Therefore, he made up his mind about spending his whole life with her. The little slip of words, which by the way was totally unintentional, soured _____'s expression and that didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

She’s scared but he fully intends to let her know that she doesn’t have to.

______ unwraps herself from his arms and pushes back. Just enough for their noses to touch.

She shakes her head, “Don’t give me those eyes.” 

Jungkook holds back a smile. “What eyes, angel?” 

“The same ones you give me when you want something dirty to happen. Those big brown eyes of yours.”

He lets a chuckle slip out. “I’m down if you are.” 

When she offers him her own laugh, gosh it’s as though he comes alive. If he could bottle up the sound, he would. Something passes in _____’s eyes. Lust? Desire? He can’t pinpoint. 

He wants to kiss the hell out of her though and he wants to do it desperately. Her eyes drop to his mouth and he takes it as a sign to lean forward and press his mouth against hers. 

Her lips part ever so slightly followed by her gripping Jungkook’s collar to bring him even closer. So close as if she wants their souls to intertwine. 

The feeling is very much mutual. 

She gets up from the passenger’s seat without breaking the kiss and straddles his lap. Her legs on either side of his thigh as their core’s touch. Jungkook is not sure how long he can endure this sweet pain of waiting. 

In all sincerity, he’s been holding himself back from the very moment he saw her walking up to him in that dress. Do with that information what you will. 

Now, he just wants to say fuck it and get inside her— only that he can’t, because he wants her to take her time and ask for it. Then and then only he will fuck her. If it’s inside this car then so be it. 

The kiss is electric and filled with passion, tingling his skin in all the right places as she matches his enthusiasm with her own.

______ pulls back with a deep breath, leaving Jungkook panting heavily. 

“Please.” she begs. 

A strand of hair falls on her face. He tucks it behind her ear. “Please what baby?” 

“Please fuck me, Jungkook. I want you so bad and I want you right now.” she whines.

He grins. “At your service, ma’am.” 

He hears _____’s light chuckle as he gets out of the car, carrying her with him while also making sure she doesn’t hit her head on the hood. She detaches herself from him once they’re out and settles in the back seat. Only after ensuring she’s comfortable enough, Jungkook follows her. 

His body lays on top of her and he wastes no time as their mouths collide. Her finger grip the hair on his nape and he groans with pleasure, his cock going thick. He rubs it on her lower stomach to show her how much he wants her, gaining a moan out of her. 

Jungkook’s head goes fuzzy with every passing second. He almost comes when she lifts her hips up and rubs a slow circle against his cock. 

“Fuck.” He groans, pulling back from the kiss. _____’s cheeks are heated and lips are swollen. He did that. Her man did that. 

Suddenly, he’s grateful for the tinted glass and his big car. 

_____ lifts her head up and kisses his sweaty cheek, swiping his forehead with her palm. “You’re sweating, honey.” 

“Yeah, I tend to do that in your presence. Do you know how hard it was for me to stay sane after seeing you look so unbelievably gorgeous?” 

She passes him a lazy smile, “You’ve always been so good at controlling yourself, haven’t you?” 

“Not anymore.” He sits up, knees on either side of her body and starts unbuckling his belt all the while panting with excitement. His pants slide halfway down letting his cock spring free. Thick, angry and leaking with precum. His shirt goes next.

______’s eyes flash with lust as she bites her lower lip. The straps of her dress have slipped down, leaving her tits bare and open for Jungkook.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.” he leans forward as she runs a hand up his bare spine, hooking her legs over his hip.

“Please.” she whispers. 

A loud thunder outside the car grabs Jungkook’s attention. Nice, he’s so horny he didn’t even realise that it’s raining. Another rumble of thunder drowns their panting breath but he still only focuses on the woman beneath him. The goddess of a woman who trusts him with her body. How lucky he is to call her his own. 

She brushes his hair out of his face, her thumb dusting over the mole on the bridge of his nose before her hand follows the path of his tattooed arm, his rib, his ass, until she wraps a fist around his dick. 

He pushes into her hand. “I need to grab the condoms from the console, angel.”

There’s a brief moment of silence, the car filling with the pants and whimpers before she says, “I want you bare. I’m on the pill.” 

Jungkook has never gone without condom nor has he considered going without one, but this woman right here just asked him to get inside her bare and fuck if it doesn’t tempt him.

And so he gives in, but not before asking, “Are you sure?” 

“As sure as one can be.” 

He nods, bringing his lips back to hers. His hand finds her thong under the dress as he slides it down her legs. Then he strokes a single line up and down her slit, wetting his finger with her cum. When he brings the same finger to his mouth and sucks on it, _____ all but whimpers. 

His cock follows next and he does the same with it, rubbing himself up and down her slit as he coats himself in her before he presses his thumb down on the head of his cock, curls his hips forward, and pushes into her. 

Tortuously slowly, inch by fucking inch. 

She’s so warm and tight for him. He’s not sure how long he can take before he shoots his load inside of her. 

“More.” she pleads, her face morphing into the most beautiful expression of pleasure. 

Jungkook pulls back and pushes again, watching more of a length disappear inside of her. He’s not even halfway in and she’s already crying out his name. 

Leaning in, he bites her neck in an attempt to give her his all. All his love, all his nights and all his life. The question is at the tip of his tongue but considering what happened inside, he quickly holds himself back. 

“You’re doing so good for me, my angel. Taking me so well,” He thrusts again. “You’re made for me, aren’t you?” 

She cries out. 

“What was that?” She throws her head back. “Yes. Oh my god” 

Thrust. “Yes, what baby? I’m gonna need you to say it.” 

Jungkook takes her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it until she cries out again, “I’m made for you. Fuck.”

He releases the nipple with a loud pop. “That’s right you are.” His pelvic bone is flush with hers, ____’s legs as wide as possible to accommodate him. She dusts her fingertips up and down his spine while he slowly kisses along her jaw.

When she pushes her heels into his ass, urging him to move, he pulls out part way before pushing back in again. 

She lets out a moan quickly followed by his own. _____’s hands run over Jungkook’s abs, nipples, and wrap around his shoulders. 

He’s fucking her slowly, taking his time, feeling her body and letting her feel his too. Every brush, every graze, every breath is precious to him.

Soft and intimate. 

So when the next words leave Jungkook’s mouth, he blames it on the moment. “Marry me.”

_____’s eyes which were closed earlier, savoring the very moment, pop open and his movement halts. 

“What?” 

“Fuck. Okay, I know this is not a position or place a woman wants to be proposed in, but I have to say this before I go insane. _____, I know you’re scared and I also know the reason behind it. Of course, I won’t ask you why you kept that part a secret from me, because I respect you and want you to take your time. But baby,” he brushes his thumb over her cheekbone, “I need you to know that I will die before I let anything like that go down between us. I love you so much you don’t even realise. Sometimes I even shock myself with how much I cherish you. You’re a gift to me, a gift which brings out the best not just in me but in everyone she meets.”

He places a small kiss on her forehead before continuing, “I can go anywhere, see everything but it still wouldn’t match the level of affection I hold for you in my heart. Still wouldn’t match the beauty of your smile, you amazing woman. You’re all I have ever wanted. So please, make me the happiest motherfucker in the world by saying ye-”

“Yes” 

‘What?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you. Now will you please shut up fuck me like you promised, husband?” 

He bites her jaw, “Oh, I’ll fuck you so nice you’ll be begging for more, wife.”

Soon enough, _____’s lower lip trembles as her orgasm takes over, and he has the privilege to watch it all. The fluttering of her lashes, the marks of her nail down his arm and the way she calls him her husband again when she’s able to find her words. 

He’s so gone.

About half an hour later when he asks her again as to what changed her mind about marriage, she says something so deep yet in such a casual way, he wants to cry. 

“When I hugged you inside, you didn’t ask questions. You just let me be and that may seem like a miniscule thing for someone else, but for me it was enough. Enough to stay with you until I turn all wrinkly and grey haired.” 

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I'm back again! So for me, all the one-shots where Percy is being a shit to y/n are like a series of  a toxic relationship, and I WANT HIM TO SUFFER SO BAD. It could be because I despise assholes or because he reminds me too much of my shitty ex (Percy, I adore you, but this is personal now).

Yes, my ex wasn't over his ex while being with me and told me that he preferred to still have the 140 pictures (yes, I remember this detail) of her than be with me.

Like I said before, I would love fluff, but I need vengeance! I NEED IT!

So please, I beg you! Write something that will fulfill my soul; I know you can. I only want him to pay, nothing else.

Love, THE Anon 🧚

I've tried to figure out how to say "fuck your ex" in a creative way but low-key im too tired he's just a douche n im so happy you know you deserve better n you're not with him!!! Also I wrote this sleep deprived on a 8 hour flight n actually kinda hate it but I promised so I deliver.

48 times. 48 times Percy’s called you and 48 times you haven’t picked up. It’s been about two weeks since you left and he hasn’t heard a lick of you, complete silence on your end.

For a while he respected the wall you’d put up, only because he didn’t miss what was behind it. He had Annabeth, his best friend and he didn’t need you.

Then earlier, he was doing the dishes with his mom. She was drying and he was washing and maybe he would’ve noticed her silence sooner if he wasn’t zeroed in on scrubbing off a chunk of fried egg.

When he finally looked up, Percy noticed her staring out the window with the look she only got when she was thinking of his dad and nudged her gently.

“Mom?”

Sally turned and met his questioning gaze. Her eyes were less sad, more reminiscent.

“Sometimes I just wonder, what it would have been like if he stayed.”

Percy nods, thinking of the man in the next room who stepped in the empty role his father left behind.

“I love Paul, my life now, but I just know that... maybe if he tried a little harder, you could have had it a little easier… I won’t ever forget the love I had for him because it gave me you, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive it either.”

And now he’s sitting on his bed, slumped over his phone with so many wonders. Could you ever forgive him? Why was it so easy to let you go if it hurts so bad now? 

He calls you again, gets your up-beat ringtone and can’t help the surge of anger. It’s misdirected, you don’t deserve it and it immediately returns full force his way with a guilt tenfold.

So he calls you again and you tell him to leave a message at the beep. He hangs up before he can hear it.

His thumb hovers over the little phone on his screen, 50 times is pushing it.

He gives you a break, and waits, and waits, and waits.

And an hour later, his phone rings and he practically pounces on the device. It’s your smiling face shining up at him and your concerned voice echoing when he picks up.

“Percy? You okay? What’s going on?”

“I-I’m okay, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Percy,” You sigh, “I was seriously freaked out, I thought you might be dying or something.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

He heard you take a breath, holding one of his own.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry and really stupid and I should’ve apologized so much sooner.”

“Yeah, I know.” He winces, “Anything else?” 

“Annabeth doesn’t mean anything to me that way, it’s you. It’s always been you and I’ve been too blind to see the obvious. I thought I needed her still because I knew I could never ask you to be what she was.”

You don’t say anything, he’s compelled to go on but a little scared he’s already messed up.

“Percy, there’s so much wrong with everything you just said but I don’t have the energy to correct you. I’m tired, it’s been a long day and I really just can’t do this, okay?”

“Wait, p-please,” His voice cracks and he makes no attempt to cover it. “Can you just listen to me?”

“No, I can’t. When I said I was done, I meant it. Don’t call me again.”

And with that, the phone call is over. The dial tone is a harsh contrast to your soft voice, it breaks his heart a little more. He misses you a little more when he pulls the phone away from his ear and sees what he could have had in your profile picture. He hates himself a little more when the next number he’s calling is Annabeth’s and she’s picking up with a care in her tone he only wants to hear from you.

[elvisabutler]

could i possibly request more gun kink pls? 🙏🙏🙏

red brass

summary: elvis loves you or at least likes you. elvis learns things on the road. elvis likes to have the girl he likes try the new things he thinks he'll like with him. you allow it. fandom: elvis presley | elvis 2022 pairing: elvis presley x female reader rating: m word count: 3408 just i don't know what happens. i don't know why i write 3k gun kink fics. warnings: gun kink. use of a gun in penetrative ways. guns. implied masturbation ( m ). implied future oral ( f ). technically defined as masturbation or maybe fucking ( f ). dubious, and i mean very dubious consent. 50s era elvis being a little shit. infidelity ( elvis to the reader ). southern accents being mildly butchered. faintly erring toward a sub elvis, while also somehow being a dom elvis, it's nebulous honestly. me implying that texans love their guns a lil' too much. use of nicknames ( honey, darlin', baby. ) and 'vis. no use of y/n. i think that might be everything? author's note: hi anon, i know who you are and i love you. i hope you enjoy this fic that essentially is a prequel-ish, a spiritual prequel to gunmetal. and me basically going, i guess i'm gonna write 50s elvis with a gun kink. generally speaking i don't even know what has come over me with this, i'm just gonna take y'all along for a ride. watch me inevitably write army e or hollywood e with gun kink.

You know you can find a better guy, or at least you think you can, because there's something that makes men- little boys want to prove themselves after they find out you're with Elvis Presley. You're fairly certain that you could at least find a guy who would be there more often than Elvis is, you could find a guy who could take you out on regular dates and could eat dinner with your parents and- maybe even get married to you sooner rather than later. The problem is, you're never quite sure you want to find that guy, never quite certain if that sort of guy would be better than Elvis. For all Elvis is a selfish young man— the kind who will take take take from his girlfriends as much as he gives gives gives- he's also a good man. He's a better man than half the boys who sniff around you, the little hound dogs as you and Elvis like to call them. So it's always a whispered "honey, ya ain't gonna leave me are ya? gonna be comin' home soon and we'll have some fun. gonna show those dogs who they'd be fightin' wit' for ya."

Your friends think you're being silly, waiting on Elvis, thinking he's remaining faithful to you while on the road. Your mama thinks the same thing and god help you even Miss Gladys agrees. She loves her son, she does, but she knows- oh she knows how he's been calling her less and less and knows that can't mean a single good thing. Can't mean anything good for anyone involved. But when her little boy calls you or calls her he's always reassuring you both that the girls don't mean nothin'. He's jus' lonely and he can't take he can't take the love of his life or his mama wit' him so sometimes- sometimes there's a girl in the hotel. June says you shouldn't forgive him when he admits it the first time but you've never been like June, never been as strong as June is and maybe— maybe that's why Elvis liked you so much. You're not June but you're just close enough that he can still have her with the parts that don't fit his life removed. Selfish, but he's never claimed to be a saint, hell no one's ever claimed he's a saint.

The thing is- you've gotten used to him talking to you over the phone about things that don't always happen. Sometimes it's just about his dreams, about his plans for what he's gonna do the second he sees you. Sometimes it's plans for how he's gonna take you out on the next tour, he doesn't care how it looks, he misses ya widdle pussy and everyone already knows he's got a girl, it won't matter seeing ya on the tour. You're expecting tonight to be just the same, another night of promises he can't keep even though he'll be home tomorrow night for at least a week or two. Tonight, though, tonight, he surprises you.

"Baby? Ya- Whatcha got planned for tomorrow? Nothin' fancy right?" He murmurs into the phone, his breath hitching in a way you know doesn't mean anything good.

You hum softly, shifting in your bed a little. "Planned on jus' lettin' ya go home to ya parents, honey, why?"

"Wanna- Ya gonna think I'm crazy but wanna try somethin' wit' ya tomorrow night. Think you'll like it." He sounds excitable in a way that means you're gonna regret telling him no if you do. He'll every bit of the young man he is, the yittle boy who wants so much and now that he's got a taste of people saying yes, yes, yes, he doesn't necessarily want to hear no on something he truly wants. "Ya gonna say yes, ain't ya?"

A sigh leaves your lips as you debate with yourself, debate if you can chance saying no before settling on the a yes that's filled with such trepidation you worry he'll still want to argue with you. "'Course I am, darlin'. Tell me, 'Vis, whatcha plannin' on doin' wit' me. Gonna take me somewhere and have us play there? We gonna have fun in the car?"

The tone you manage is light and playful— or at least as close to it as you can manage before you hear Elvis's laugh. It's a laugh you've never heard from him and one that worries you. It sounds a little demonic if you were being perfectly honest, but you trust Elvis for the most part. He loves you and wouldn't purposefully hurt you and maybe it's just a mean idea. One he shouldn't be asking you but he's going to because he knows you're better than all those girls on the road.

"Ya ever played wit' ya daddy's guns, darlin'? Ever felt the metal on ya? It's cold on ya skin, ya know." He muses, like he's put it on his skin and a rush of jealousy rears its ugly head at the idea that maybe just maybe some other girl has gotten to see this. Or maybe he's done this to another girl. You almost miss his next words. "Bet it'd make your chest- make those pretty nipples of your stand right up. Be beggin' for me to suck on 'em."

Your pussy clenches at his words and you can't help how your breath catches. "You'd- I've never— What are ya sayin', Elvis Presley?"

Almost his full name because you're so taken aback by what he's saying. You're imagining this or he's playing a joke on you, trying to get some sort of rise with you. He wouldn't dream of saying this and honestly meaning it. Let alone telling you over the phone like this, it's almost as if he's warnin' you about this but— why? Why would he want to warn you about something like this.

"Honey, I— down here in Texas they— their girls are wild, ya know? Thought it was jus' the women but no it's girls your age too, ya know? Somethin' 'bout this air that makes 'em do things I ain't ever seen another girl do. And I was talkin' to someone 'bout the gun he had on his holster, prettiest thing I ever did see other than you, darlin'. Told me 'bout how his girlfriend— or maybe it was his fiancée played wit' it." Elvis's voice sounds simultaneously like he's nervous to bring this up to you while also taking on this certain element of delight. Certain pleasure in telling you about this person. "Inside of her."

"Inside of— Now I know you aren't— You mean inside her—" You cough, because you are not some wilting little girl. You are Elvis Presley's girlfriend and you can be a big girl about this. "You mean she put it inside of her vagina?" The last word is whispered almost as if you're scared your parents are going to hear or if it'll make it more real to say it out loud.

Elvis chuckles softly, more of a huff of a laugh than anything else before he responds back with any words. "She did. He said he watched her and said she— She liked it. Told 'im it was even better than when he fucked her."

The image of Elvis pumping his gun in and out of you like he would his cock has you dropping the phone for a second in pure shock. The way you can feel your arousal starting to pool between your legs has you biting your lips and shifting in your bed, your thighs gliding together as your breathing changes just slightly. You know Elvis can tell from how he growls into the phone. He may be a dumb yittle boy sometimes but he knows you just as well as you know him now. "You don't really want me to do that when you get home, do you 'Vis?"

"I think ya wanna do it for me, honey. Think if I was there I'd see ya looking like a damn cricket, sliding your legs together. Just one time, baby? One time and if we don't like it, I ain't ever gonna bring it up again. For me? For us?" He sounds so small when he asks, but you know better, it's him trying to charm you, trying to seem all innocent when you both know he hasn't been innocent since the first time he went on tour or the first time a girl batted her eyelashes and said hello.

Your only response is a simple okay before you move onto better topics. Less arousing topics.

Your parents are used to Elvis whisking you away for any number of things so when he comes home the next night, they don't bat an eyelash at him taking you with him to Graceland with promises about how you'll be in another room and his mama won't let him do anything untoward to you. Nevermind that when Miss Gladys sees you it's for the briefest of moments as her son whisks you up the stairs and has you pinned against the door, hands roaming every inch of your skin threatening to set it on fire as he kisses your lips and your neck. He's needy tonight and you don't know if it's because of what you promised him or if he missed you just that much. You feel a hard mass near his leg and you can't help but wonder if it's his cock or the gun because you haven't seen a holster or anything that shows off a gun. Despite your better judgment when he pulls away and you are nuzzling at his nose you give him a nervous grin and whisper a joke.

"That your gun, 'Vis? Or are ya jus' happy to see lil ole me?" A laugh escapes his lips at the same time one escapes yours before he moves to try and pull down your skirts.

"Lil' of both, honey," he practically coos at you when your skirt comes down and you're standing there in your half unbuttoned shirt and your underwear. "Wanna see ya naked for this. Get the full effect."

You bite your lip, your nervousness finally fully peeking through. It's not as if you've never been naked with Elvis, it's not as if he's never seen you completely laid bare underneath him or above him but this is different. Something about this makes you feel raw and exposed like a live wire. A shiver escapes you as Elvis tilts his head just a little bit. 

“Don’t— Ain’t nothin’ we haven’t shown each other, baby. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Gonna make ya feel good. Gonna have ya feeling the hot and cold’s what they said,” his hands ghost over your waist before he slides his hands under your shirt to pull it off of you, kissing along the skin he’s exposing bit by bit. “Ya wanna take off my clothes, honey? That gonna make ya feel better? Give ya somethin’ to settle the shakes ya got like ya had the first time we did it in the Cadillac?”

Your hand clenches into a fist before you nod, moving to undo his belt with a speed that embarrasses you a little bit until you hear him laughing softly above you. He finds it endearing, your eagerness or your nervousness and somehow that settles something in you, makes this seem less terrifying. Elvis may have asked you something that’s a mighty strange request but he’s still your Elvis. He wouldn’t hurt you, not intentionally. It doesn’t take too long before you manage to get him out of all his clothes, watching as his muscles twitch under your touch and how the moment you step out of your undergarments his cock twitches so violently in the confines of his underwear he hisses when he gets to pull them off, cursing at his foreskin. The gun is sitting on the bed and you stare at it as Elvis moves behind you cupping your breasts and kissing along your neck slowly, trying to settle you like a scared animal. 

“It ain’t loaded, honey, just— this one time, ‘member? We jus’ gonna try it, see if those Texans know somethin’ we don’t.” His voice is low enough to be crooning at you and you feel your body lean up against him, relax up against him. “You get to do it, baby. Just, do what ya want with the gun.”

It takes you a minute or maybe five of just relaxing against him to get up the nerve to crawl on his bed and prop yourself on his pillows.The gun feels heavy in your hand but you’re pretty sure you’re just imagining it as you let the metal touch your neck— your overheated neck— and whimper at the coolness of it. Elvis settles himself at the end of the bed, eyes watching how your nipples are already pebbling before the gun even touches them. You let your legs fall open to give him a better view and you hear a grunt that has you looking up at your boyfriend’s lower lip between his teeth.

“Already gettin’ shiny down there. Glowin’ in the moonlight, darlin’. Wanna- Gonna taste all that later, if ya don’t leave it all over the bed.”

You clench around nothing at the words and Elvis reaches out to touch you before you shake your head, “no, wanna— you wanna see me play wit’ this. Wanna see me play wit’ this like they did. No- You don’t get to touch.” 

The funny thing is, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Elvis react as quick as he does in that moment. You don’t think you’ve ever seen your boyfriend respond to something you’ve told him to do as quick as he does in that exact moment. His hand goes directly to his own lap as he nods, whining just a little as he does and you have to bite back the soft giggle that threatens to escape you. The gun though, the sharp coolness of the metal helps you, helps distract you from giggling even if as the gun glides across your nipple you cry out almost in agony. Elvis had been right, they were practically begging to be sucked, to be warmed by his tongue and his mouth. Anything would be better than the bite of the metal, the brush of the barrel against them. Elvis doesn’t make a move though, you had told him not to touch and he was being good even as his hand strayed to his cock, playing with it, his thumb brushing over the tip as he pulled his foreskin back. 

Focusing on him made things worse and somehow better, made you wish you had told him he could touch, made you wish he would was moving the gun himself but he told you this was your call, you were in control of what happened with the gun. Small whimpers leave your lips as you try and keep your legs open, practically trying to grind on the air as you slide the gun down down down your torso. You stop just shy of your vagina, your hand shaking a little before you hear Elvis’s voice.

“Ya— Ya good, darlin’?” His question is asked a little shakily but it makes you realize you aren’t the only nervous one here, or maybe he’s just so turned on he can’t speak straight. It doesn’t matter, you don’t think, not with how it calms you just so. “Ya want my help? Want me to hold it for ya?”

“Please?” Your answer comes out rushed and so quiet that you feel the rush and heat of embarrassment as you shiver from it. You want to do this, but it’s not something you’ve ever done and it’s new. For both of you, you hope. Elvis moves closer to you, deciding that sitting next to you might be the best position for this so he can watch and still help you. You move to take your hand off the gun, thinking he wants complete control before he links your fingers together and places both your hands on the gun. You’re still in control with just a little help from him. 

You take your hand that’s not on the gun and use it you spread yourself open, making sure there’s enough of a glide from your arousal- a forgone conclusion you think- to help with the gun brushing against your cunt— your vagina— your whatever the two of you want to call it. As your fingers start to play with your clit you feel the brush of the metal finally sliding down and against your clit. A groan leaves your lips as you grind down automatically, craving something to finally give you some proper friction. It’s cold but it doesn’t have the same bite as it did against your nipples, no it’s almost as if the burning heat that keeps growing between your legs offsets it, allows the gun to be heated quicker than it ever would be outside of you. Elvis’s lips brush against the shell of your ear. “Ya ready baby? Ready to take it inside?”

A hum is all you can manage, too anxious and excited all at once to trust anything other than a whimper to leave your mouth if you open it. Elvis knows you though, knows you like the back of his hand or like his guitar and he pushes the gun inside you, slowly but surely, watching the barrel disappear in between your legs as you practically keen at the sensation. It’s the metal contrasting with your skin, with your arousal with everything. It feels like it shouldn’t be up there while feeling less filling than Elvis ever has been. You rock a little against it as part of it brushes against your clit or maybe that’s just yours and Elvis’s hands. At some point you shut your eyes, not because you didn’t want to watch, but because the sensation feels better when you don’t see it, it keeps you grounded in a way having your eyes open doesn’t. Elvis’s voice seems so far away even as you rock against the gun. Had this been what the women were talking about? Did they feel like this too? Powerful and yet stripped bare knowing what was between their legs sliding in and out of their most private parts? 

“Christ they weren’t lyin’ ya look fuckin’. Gonna hafta help me wit’ what’s ‘tween my legs, honey. Wanna taste ya after this- wanna have ya all night. Missed ya and now ya doin’ this? Fuckin’ perfect for me. Best girl I coulda asked for. Ya gonna— Ya hear how ya sound?” His words are slurred against your ear and you do hear yourself, hear how the gun squelches and squishes between your folds and you whine, your head turning trying to bury your head into Elvis’s shoulder even if it should be impossible. Your brain and your heart and your ears register him shushing you, telling you he’s gotcha, telling you how he wants to see you come like this and that does it. You clench around the barrel and a soundless scream leaves your mouth as your orgasm rips through you and leaves you shaking and twitching against Elvis. There’s a warmth next to your leg and you open your eyes to see Elvis’s own release against your leg as he flushes under your gaze. 

Almost as if he wants to distract you he starts to pull the gun out and you shut your eyes at the sensation before opening them back up again when you hear the pop of it being pulled completely out of you. It takes you and Elvis a few minutes after he tosses the gun to the side before you speak. 

“Can’t do that again tonight.” But perhaps another night, your mind thinks as you move to play with Elvis’s cock.

His hand moves to swat your hand away as he slinks down the bed and puts himself at eye level with your vagina. “Don’t want ya to,” he pauses, licking his lips as you allow your legs to fall open just a hair. “Gonna taste ya though. See if ya taste any different.”

You don't.

[astrababyy]

No it’s so weird that Rhys in ACOFAS was like “I don’t know what to get her for her birthday. I’m so much older than her.” And that’s after it’s mentioned in the first book that Alis’s sons (grandsons?) are what? Like 70? And they’re considered children to the fae? And Tamlin, who was considered too young to participate in the first war (wasn’t he in his 20s-100s at that time? I don’t remember), being hounded by a much older Amarantha at that time???? It’s like???? SJM????? WHY would you write that???? It’s not funny, it’s weird????? It sounds like what grandparents say about their grandkids??? What sugar daddies think about what to get their sugar babies??? What the older person in a weird age gap relationship (think 20/60) would think???? What is her obsession with age like that??

NOT THE SUGAR DADDY LMAOOO she’s so obsessed with age and for what??? do y’all remember that part in acosf where nesta’s like saying gwyn is like a child to cassian when nesta’s like the same age as her… i cannot with this series istg.

anon, this ask made me cringe (not at you). the fact that she wrote that is CRIMINAL 🙈

it’s SO bad, anon. it’s not even funny at this point. why would she write something like that??? genuinely, genuinely, what was going through her mind when she wrote that?

i just checked the quote where alis mentions her grandsons, and it implied that they’re still children after over 50 years. it could be a disconnect between faeries and high fae, but the illyrians don’t age in the same way alis’ grandsons seemed to. it’s also just really boring to make all the actual faeries with actually interesting traits be freaking background characters. and i don’t understand what the point was in writing that then going back on it in future books. like… why???

and then there’s the whole unacknowledged fact that tamlin has been hounded on and harassed by amarantha since he was a freaking child. that’s so disturbing, and there are STILL people who say tamlin should’ve given himself up to her to protect his court. like that’s genuinely such a disgusting thing to say. imagine thinking giving in to a tyrant is a better alternative to fighting for freedom till the end… it’s giving edgy tumblr, and not in a good way.

this also happens a lot throughout the series. sjm will write something for a brief dramatic effect in that moment, which will have bigger consequences because it will affect the quality of the story later on. istg, half the bad parts of this story would not have made it to print if sjm had a halfway decent editor.

a lot of this is also due to the disconnect between the first book and the future ones. many people say that the first book seems more whimsical than the others, which is very much true. the characters have a different way of aging than the humans to act on the theme of fae being very different than humans. whereas, when feyre’s made fae in the future books, this no longer becomes necessary and everything’s altered.

on a side note, some of these examples are so absurd, i can’t believe they’re real, anon 😭 sjm makes so much money from acotar. she should be treating this book series way more seriously. her fan base is so loyal, and she’s got no respect for them, their time, or their money. they never hold her accountable for jack shit so she gets away with contrived bullshit like this. it’s so pathetic.

[blkkizzat]

Hi! Freshly broken up anon here again 🫡

I always came for advice and with bad news, so I'm bringing some good ones right now:

I managed to find another studio apartment, and it's 5 mins from my workplace, and it's super cheap. I'm moving there in the middle of December.

My feelings have been all over the place. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse, but despite me being a very dependent person, I'm doing pretty good. I also opened a new, separate bank account.

And I'm also delivering some tea:

There was a female colleague of ours who wanted to hit on my ex when we were still together, but she kiiiinda backed off after she realized we were together at the time. I'm saying kinda because she befriended both of us, but she was always crying laughing with him meanwhile I was just ... there. She told me she considers me a friend and that she's a girl's girl.

She got to know that we broke up and she immediately invited him over for watching Netflix and smoking some blunt.

And for some reason, I find it more hilarious than hurtful or insulting.

Ahh babe I am so glad you are doing better and getting a new place too! That so great to hear!

We are all much stronger than we give ourselves credit for tbh! Ofc theirs gonna be good days and bad but I never for a second doubted you'd be strong enough to make it through better on the otherside!

But yes!! Separate banking is a MUST! Honestly, even if it's just a seperate online based savings (personally i recommend american express savings as the apy is 4%). As women, especially if we are not the main breadwinner or even if its a split 50/50 relationship we need to have our own separate account. You never know what could happen and its good to have a secret nest egg account, my mom always told me that lol.

OMFG yeah no way she is 100% NOT a girl's girl. Beware of any bitch who says they are a girl's girl cause they are not, they be the first ones to stab you in the back. I hate that saying anyway cause its like hello? im gonna support you cause you are a good person not cause you are a girl lol. reminds me of this tweet thats literally my motto:

But good babes im so glad you arent pressed over it, let her have him and GOOD LUCK lmfao he is not going to change, especially for someone who throws themselves at him so hard. Let him be her problem now! You are on to bigger and better!

You gotta good fresh start right before the new years, you are setting yourself up well! I'm proud of you!!

[inkblot22]

I agree!! aftermaths are ALWAYS my favourite to read during forced pregnancy stories and I actually hate when it ends with the yandere impregnating darling like how do u know if she truly got pregnant? where’s the horror in finding out you’re carrying your rapist’s child(ren)? how does reader deal with that? how does the yandere react to that? (I’m sure he knows but finding out the news from you yourself would surely elicit different emotions) how does he react when you say you wanna get rid of it? how do they both cope as parents? sooo many possibilities!! I’m glad to know the story I requested will not end with epel just impregnating darling!! thank you sm for that <3

also seeing as how both you and the other anon rank epel low I hope to see he be ranked higher in the future >:3

- epel felmier anon 🍎💜

ALL the freaking possibilities! The machinations of the yandere's mind when the baby-trapping (consensual or not) isn't received well is bound to be endlessly fascinating. Idk, stories work well sometimes if you let the reader imagine the hopelessness of a situation, but they work even better if you showcase it.

I'm putting the other stuff under a cut because I'm about to go on a bit of a tangent. Also, I have not read book seven yet, if anyone spoils it, I will temporarily block you until after I have read it.

I ranked Epel a C the first time because I didn't know anything about him at the time, almost every character save for the ones I really loved the designs for were lower than I would put them today, and frankly some were higher. I've done another tier list, this is not the old one. I have a pretty high opinion of most of the characters regardless of their ranking, here's the maker I used.

Okay, so, I feel the need to specifically explain Crewel: I don't like being treated like a dog. Pet play is not my thing, and I do not understand the hype surrounding him whatsoever. Why would I want to hang out with someone who probably smells like a really strong, expensive cologne and refuses to call me anything other than "good boy"? No thanks, y'all can have him. Crowley is self-explanatory.

Riddle, Silver, and Lucius all have their good qualities, I will admit. But I'm the type of person who would avoid both of the people for varying reasons (Riddle is annoying, I don't like being bothered when I'm minding my own fucking business because I'm "breaking the rules" and I don't want to wake up Silver and I don't know enough about him,) and I would get irrationally mad at Lucius for always getting into fights with Grim.

C tier is somewhat similar to D for me. I'd very likely not go out of my way to interact with these guys, but they're either more approachable or less irritating than D tier. I'm sure you can see a trend with at least two of them, but most of these mfs are too high energy or too intense. Sebek is here because while I don't like petplay, I do like degradation and I think he would be excellent at that, given his usual temperament and opinion on humans. Deuce is there because I find him to be a very one-note character. Everyone in this game is well-written, but not everyone can be interesting. Trein is here because I know I'd be constantly getting in trouble in his class for drawing instead of paying attention. By the way, when did people who were 50 become old? Idk I consider old to be like 70+ but maybe that's just because of the people I grew up around.

B tier is characters that I am aware I am sleeping on, with the bonus of Vargas, who I actually like quite a bit. Not enough to put him in higher than B tier, though. Ortho and Idia are sort of a package deal, but I do like Ortho less than I like Idia. Azul pisses me off but I am a sucker for a pathetic man.

EPEL!!! THE ONE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! Epel is like Deuce, if Deuce had more of a twisted view of himself. Reading though his little dilemma in book 5 didn't make me sympathize, but it did endear him to me. I can understand getting upset because you are literally unable to express yourself in a way that you would like because of reasons outside of your control. Beyond that, I love it when characters have a secret rough side (sorry Deuce.) Two-faced characters are my favorite thing.

A tier is characters I would like to put in S but I am too scared of them to do so. While C and lower are characters I would avoid because they're annoying, A tier is literally just characters I would avoid because they're freaky. I think people forget that the first interaction we have with Leona is him threatening to beat the shit out of us because we accidentally tripped on his tail. While Trey is sweet, he's the absolute definition of a two-faced character and he's way too observant to be comfortable around. Idk, maybe that makes him boyfriend material. I feel like anyone who has been on this blog at this point already understands my viewpoint of Jade, Floyd, and Rook. They scare the mess out of me and I love them for that.

With S tier, I'm actually going to specify a couple things: Sam is up there because I know I'd constantly be in his shop, buying things with thaumarks I should save just because I know his shop would smell like home. I feel like where a lot of people see Sam and think "this man can FUCK," I see Sam and think "big brother material." The sibling that I am closest to is literally just barely a year younger than Sam. Also, to clarify, I'm Black with family from the south. Grim is also sibling material. He's like a little brother, and I love him for that even though he pisses me off.

Now back to the WHORE KNEE. I very desperately want to bring my personal Vil series to this blog. I think maybe someone else would enjoy it, because what's more lovely than a man who sees what he wants in a person that isn't what he wants but forces to be what he wants anyway? I love that shit. Lilia is prime fodder for coercion fics, and I'd love to see more of those because he's very wise (because he's old as hell) and he's had a lot of practice at being a sweet talker. I think with a gullible reader?? Oh my god??? I'm not shy about my opinion on Malleus, Jamil, and Idia, and I think I talk about Idia a bit too much. Jamil stole my heart from the minute he was all sweet and kind in book 4 because he is so obviously two-faced that only the overly trusting would fall for that. Also, Jafar was something of an awakening for me. Who cares about Aladdin? I want the old man. As for Malleus, I like that he fills out the gap moe trope, but not overly so. He absolutely strikes me as the type to assume he knows best for both parties involved, and if he doesn't assume, he decides for you.

Anyway, knowing me, this list will have switched all over the place in a month's time. Thanks for reading my garbled nonsense.

[systastic]

Hi!! Adding on, just a few npcs and stuff, anything that's easier for you, as we don't want to stress you out :3

a stunning, absolutely marvelous idea you have here, anon :] hope you like these goofy little guys! might come back n add some more to them later after i sleep, haha —🤍 (🌳)

Mandy Isobel Graves

What’re YOU looking at? Huh? If the answer was Mandy, then good luck babe! Mandy is an attitude-filled “almost adult” (her words, not mine) who deals with her problems by avoiding the fuck out of them. People who annoy her or try to hit on her get clapped back on and shut down right away. Nobody is gonna touch this until she’s sure they can handle it! She works at the diner part-time as a way of earning income to keep up her addiction. What kind of addiction, you ask? Stuffed animals. Very cute, very small, very fluffy stuffed animals. If you tell anyone else about this, then… Well, technically, she can’t do much of anything about it. But she’ll pout at you and will refuse to serve your food to your table at the diner. So there! She is a lesbian through and through — so don’t try hitting on her if you’re a guy. That won’t end well. Mandy lives with her parents in Suburbia, Katherine and Edward Graves, along with their dog Jett. And yes, he’s named after Jett from ATLA.

Good with: Diner patrons, teens around her age (particularly women)

Bad with: Authority figures, older men, children (2-10). She doesn’t like kids nor does she know how to deal with them. Sorry, Charlie.

source: here!

Craig Cummings

This is Craig Cummings, local police officer and resident boxer of the town living in apartment 205. He may not look like it, but he’s actually new to this place, having only shown up about two months ago. His ex-wife left him over a squabble about their income (Craig was still in training at the time) and took their unborn child with her. Craig is pretty beat up about the whole ordeal, but honestly, he’s getting better now that he’s moved to a new location. You might catch Craig in the bakery while on duty or in the diner later at night chowing down on a big meaty burger. He can be a bit hard to talk to at first, but he’s got his heart in the right place: the good of the people comes first in his mind. Now all that’s left is to find a few new buddies, some craft beer, and get over this hump in his life. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

Good with: Older men (20-50), teenagers, old people, and other folks like himself

Bad with: Women around his age (he is bad at flirting), “those kids nowadays” aka gen alpha, chronically online people

source: here (please consider supporting the artist!)

Ethel McClellan

Ethel is an older woman with a big heart who lives in apartment 116 with her husband Barney. Her apartment matches the woman herself: homey and comfortable with a whole lot of knitted things that are obviously handmade. She is the kind of woman who will invite new faces into her home for tea despite not knowing them in the slightest. Her husband doesn’t mind one bit either. Both of them are starved for company due to the fact their children never want to visit. A real shame, that. Ethel’s views lean more to being conservative in nature, but she has enough common sense to tell when things are simply not right the way that they are. For some reason, the local stray cats flock to her windowsill during the afternoons. It might be because of Ethel feeding them sardines all the time… but she claims it’s “a little gift from the Good Lord himself”. (Barney disagrees, but doesn’t say a word.) Her evenings are spent knitting and watching the game with her dear husband. A rack of spare teacups sit on her kitchen counter waiting to be filled… Maybe you’ll be her next visitor?

Good with: Children (5-11), “youngins” (20s-30s), older folk (40-60+)

Bad with: Pretty much no one unless they’re a “gosh darn rapscallion” or “troublemaker”

source: here!

[azzie-tangerine]

Taranza 8, 16, 38, 44. Susie 16, 20, 24, 27, 50. Magolor 2, 31, 32, 37

This one is gonna be long, sorry in advance anon.

Taranza: Unpopular opinion about them

I'm not sure if I have any unpopular opinions on this boy. He's one of my favorite characters, and a lot of popular headcanons I enjoy or agree with. I don't like when he's reduced to just "depressed", but even I have done that in the past before and I'm not sure if it counts as an unpopular opinion.

Taranza: Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

You won't have him admit this ever, but he's terrible at dancing. If he had legs, he would have eight left feet. This is a secret that most people can tell just from hanging out with both him and constantly-dances-after-completing-something Kirby. But a lot of Taranza's friends just don't wish to tell him the truth, as he always seems happy dancing and even talks about how he's learned from the best in Floralia. At least he enjoys it.

Taranza: Favorite holiday

This is 100% me being biased about my own culture. But it's Dia de los muertos. It's celebrating the missed and there's always marigolds around. He loves it.

Taranza: Their happiest memory

You could easily say his happiest memory is one featuring Joronia. And I would agree, they're probably up there. But nowadays? His happiest memory draws back to a time the Star Allies were celebrating their defeat of Void Termina. Taranza was in the corner for most of it, but a lot of the allies constantly praised his skills or just made conversation with him, like Susie and Magolor. The relief of saving the world and joy from everyone else definitely got to him. His new friends aren't so bad.

Susie: Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

A part of Susie still admires her company's old ideologies. Being hammered in that robotics is better than everyone can't be erased thanks to one day, after all. She doesn't mechanize planets anymore (unlike what a mistranslation says), and she does use her company for good. But sometimes a thought enters her mind about lower lifeforms. Ones she pretends not to think about.

Susie: Scars

Love the way you think anon. Susie definitely got some scars from Another Dimension. There is no way she spent her childhood there without a single scratch. She definitely got eye damage from some lasers. Maybe a couple burns on her hands from some faulty inventions of her's after joining the company. I also imagine her hands have been completely replaced with robotic parts, so that could be a scar too.

Susie: Most annoying habit

Annoying not for Susie, but to everyone around her. She talks like a coworker would talk to you. Overly friendly to the point you gotta wonder if she's being paid to be nice to you. That's just how she is, a result of being a secretary for a while. A lot of others find this annoying about her, or question her sincerity.

Susie: Their guilty pleasure

Susie definitely enjoys some trashy romance stories. Those stories with definitely not healthy relationships, made toxic for the drama. She likes to laugh at them (and also idolize the more romantic parts). She also loves true crime documentaries.

Susie: A memory they’ve blocked out

ALL of Another Dimension has been blocked out of her memory. Her choice too. She probably found a way to delete it out of her memory files. It was a lonely, scary time for her. One that Magolor understands a lot. And to her, there's no point of remembering it.

Magolor: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

I don't care what RTDLDX says, Magolor has halcandran genes. He has too many similarities with other halcandran citizens, and even ancients like Hyness. I like to say that his "didn't come from Halcandra" to mean that he did not grow up there. I spent too long with Magolor being a halcandran, I am not giving that up. For me specifically, I see him as not fully halcandran. But he still is.

Magolor: If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

Magolor would have a troll account. He would purposely say hot takes just to piss people off. He would advertise his shop/theme park in reblogs. All the Star Allies would have him blocked. He has a sideblog just for posting pictures of the Lor Starcutter featuring Marx.

Magolor: Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

Anything the Lor or Marx would say, really. He finds the two's sense of humor very amusing. Even a kung pow penis from Marx would make him wheeze out loud.

Magolor: What they really think about themselves

Magolor genuinely thinks he would make a good overlord of the universe. He's smart, he understands what it's like to be weak, he has good ideas! He would be a good king. He has given up taking over the universe, but he still thinks he would have done a good job at being an overlord.

Magolor has a bit of an ego, he sees himself highly. Is it unbearable? No, it's been knocked down after RTDL. But he still thinks he's great. And he's sure everyone knows.

[delucadarling]

And yes, I do need to ask about every Barbie ship :D

2, 12 and 51 for Barbie/Ava

22, 38 and 50 for Barbie/Mason

3, 17 and 28 for Barbie/Felix

14, 31 and 42 for Barbie/Nate

21, 26 and 44 for Barbie/Kira

Holy smokes anon. EXCITING.

Obligatory OTP Asks

Barbie/Ava

2.) What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

Barbie suffers night terrors pretty often after the Murphy incident. She had them before as well, being prone to stress and anxiety as she is, but it's 10x worse once the events of Book 1 kick off.

All Barbie would want is for Ava to hold her close, stroke her hair, and promise she'll be okay. Eventually, once they sort their shit out, that's exactly what would happen. Before that, Barbie still seeks Ava out, but doesn't want to talk and doesn't want Ava to touch her. She just wants to be in Ava's presence. Ava allows this, and probably makes Barbie a warm drink if Barbie won't make one herself. This usually leads to Barbie falling back asleep in an armchair, or some other spot near wherever Ava's spending time.

When Ava has nightmares, Barbie's very unsure about what to do. She's way out of her depth when it comes to comforting other people, even as much as she wants to do it. She'd ask Ava what she wants, what would help. Ava's prone to denying she wants anything at all, but eventually I like the idea that Barbie reads to her. A silly book that Ava would never pick up on her own, but that Ava can't help getting absorbed into when it's Barbie reading it.

12.) Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

Oh yeah, definitely. Barbie can be very set in her ways, as can Ava, so when they agree on something it's GREAT. If they disagree on something, it leads to arguments over things no one else would even think to argue about. It's really tough at first, but they also love each other, so they don't want these arguments to be fights.

Two rule-loving autistic queens sit down to decide what steps to take when an argument is going too far, agree on the steps, and put them into motion over every single disagreement they have.

(Smoothing things over usually includes make up sex for Barbie, it's hands down the easiest way she's found for letting dumb shit go.)

51.) What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

I think they're both big on just doing things for one another to make their lives a little better.

Barbie has a stash of 20 shirts, the exact same brand and style that Ava likes, in a few varying colors. When one of Ava's shirts wears out, Barbie just puts a new one in her closet.

Ava stays on top of Barbie's physical needs. Food, drink, comfort. She keeps a bag of trail mix in one of her pockets at all times. She keeps an extra pair of gloves as well for when it's cold, which she pretends aren't there just for Barbie.

They're both big on physical touch with one another as well. Barbie likes to place a kiss to Ava's jaw and Ava will press a hand between Barbie's shoulder blades in small moments between moments.

Barbie/Mason

22.) What reminds each of their partner?

Barbie: [at the grocery store]

Barbie: Everything reminds me of him...

Mason: [walking into town]

Mason: ....I should call her

I'm throwing the rest of this under a cut because it's getting long y-y

38.) Who is more sexually experimental? Who's more vanilla?

Mason is definitely more experimental, but Barbie's not vanilla exactly. In fact, I've had a good time with the thought that their sex life is so good at it's most basic, they've pretty much only ever had missionary sex for the first few months of sleeping together. It's only when they realize Mason's never eaten Barbie out and Barbie's never jerked him off that they go "We need to broaden our horizons."

Beyond that, Barbie's a curious person, definitely willing to try most anything once. She's got a checklist of things she wants to try in her personal organizer, and a list of things Mason wants to try.

50.) Who's more likely to do something out of spite?

100000% Barbie. Spite takes too much effort for Mason. Barbie would, in fact, be hella tempted to sleep with someone else before she and Mason get together, particularly after the Haley's Bakery incident where he said they're just fuck buddies. The idea of her actually going through with it only to have major remorse when she sees how it truly hurts Mason's feelings....Delicious. I love mess. I love her panicking and trying to figure out how to fix it.

Barbie/Felix

3.) Do they wear the other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

Barbie's taste leans more heavily toward classy, femme, and elegant. So she wouldn't be tempted by most of Felix's wardrobe. She would definitely pilfer a scarf on occasion though. What she would greatly prefer is him giving her something as a gift she could wear. A necklace, a bracelet, or even a pair of socks.

Felix cannot be kept out of Barbie's clothes though, I stand by this. She buys very nice, high quality stuff and sometimes a baby blue blazer is exactly what he needs to pull of his outfit! And he also likes all the headbands she uses to keep her hair back when she's doing her skin routine.

17.) Who's more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

They're pretty tied here I think! Felix is more spontaneous about it, while Barbie's a bit more purposeful.

28.) What are there thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?

I think "my dove" is something Barbie would call Felix. Her soft hearted boy. My love, my darling, and sweetheart are others, but she tends to reserve the use of pet names for private moments.

Felix would spout off all kinds of saccharine and silly pet names, to make her blush, to make her laugh, and to make her roll her eyes. She says ABSOLUTELY no to 'doll' (it's OLD and it wasn't funny when it was new!!!).

Barbie/Nate

14.) How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?

Barbie and Nate are pretty well matched! They both value academics, research, having a plan before acting, and having a touch of luxury in their day to day lives. They're also both HORRIBLE HORNY BASTARDS.

The way they clash though is Nate keeps a lot to himself. He really values his privacy, and he has a tendency to think he knows what's best for Barbie, regardless of her own thoughts on the matter.

Barbie's nosy as hell and can't stand not knowing something, it eats at her and eats at her (she ALWAYS chooses to look up her LI in Book 3). She also prides herself on her intelligence and ability to make measured decisions, so she does not take being patronized very well.

31.) Can they sit side by side without touching the other or are they handsy? (lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.)

Absolutely not. They're always touching somehow, whether it be holding hands, crossing ankles under a table, or having a hand on one another's hip/lower back.

42.) What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

There is an appeal to Barbie in particular to the weather being sooooo terrible that there's just no choice but for her and Nate to get snuggled up somewhere and wait it out u_u

I imagine Nate likes this just as much, but he also likes mild days where he can take her out for a nice walk around town.

Barbie/Kira

@crownleys and I are both very tickled someone wants to hear about our girls! We have, in fact, spent quite a lot of this morning and afternoon talking about them as ex-wives who get back together during the events of Book 1/Book 2

21.) Who would get into a fight to defend the other's honor? Who tends to the other's wounds?

The answer is Kira in both instances! Barbie would fight for Kira's honor, but she's far more likely to bitch someone out or bust someone's windshield versus get into a physical brawl. Kira's not quick to brawl, but when Bobby's involved...well, all bets are off.

As for tending wounds, Barbie's got a fear of blood bad enough that she'll pass out from enough of it. If Kira's got a paper cut or something small like that, Barbie's happy to clean it up and put a bandaid on it for her. Anything that's dripping blood though, she can't look.

26.) What are their vices?

Keep in mind, I'm not Kira's creator, so I am not the definitive authority on all of this, but this is what I take away from all of mine and Crownley's chatter.

Kira's a workaholic, always looking for a new way to prove herself worthy of notice, kindness, love, etc. She's also a sucker for expensive antiquities.

Barbie's an ex-smoker and she still struggles against the urge to smoke at times. She's been known to falter in times of great stress.

44.) Who would dance in the kitchen making dinner? Would the other join in or watch from the doorway?

Kira's more likely to dance, and Barbie is more likely to just watch, unless Kira coaxes her over. Whatever's on the stove would end up burning if they start to slow dance, because they'd be so involved in one another they completely forget about the rest of the world. And dinner.

[otakebi-cam-wao]

Produce 101 Japan The Girls ep 3 - thoughts i wrote on real time while watching

as a harowota who initially is watching it cuz of Kasahara Momona

DISCLAIMER: this is long af so UNDER THE CUT!

part 1 Re-evaluation:

Happy:

Kotone moved up to B!!! Deserved!!!! QUEEN of evolution!!!!

RAN (ran) TO A!!!!! love to see that

Joa was nice to see on A after the bootcamp from ep 2

KOTO TO A!!!! amazing (tho i like Yui more) her video was so appeleang

Sad:

Rio going from C to F was a bit sad for me smh

Ranka flopped a lot (B to F) but i didn't like her that much (also her re-evaluation video was hard to see)

Serina from C to D kinda urghhh same with Rimika (she was on HKT48 after all) but actually i was expecting these 2 to D

Keiko and the twins going down was sadly expected BUT MY AYANE!?!? ME SO SO SAD (but got B with keiko and the nakamoris, could be worse, and i didn't want it worse)

Okay, i get Ayane i'd say the same thing knowing my own abbilities, if i was her i would have been relieved to get down a class as well

part 2 shooting:

Mena's expressions are nice

Miu's

Ran's (so eye catching to me)

Miu, Ran and Kassa my choices (Kassa pls) (as if i didn't know Kassa wasn't)

OHHH Suzu and Tsuzumi solos!!! (wanted them to get something) Ran and Miu finalist for center, nice nice (f Kassa) (center was Miu, right?)

yes Miu center INTP center queen (?) (yes i support her cuz INTP first)

the prep all cute

Momoka's "kawachii" cute cuz husky

part 3 battle:

already excited cuz battle (is what i like from some dvd mags)

this funny:

Kaela "winners will have a benefit" T. Hana "meat?" Anon: No way 3k votes? fr?!

so after this was the first ranking?

OHHHH first elimination?

HALF?!?!?!?!

OMFG HALF OF THEM!!!

Top 50 stays, okay okay

Kaela changing the mood abruptly tho it felt so smooth

Kaela is trolling everyone

representatives by luck… HINAFES FEELINGS

ohhh Miu is unpickable

Ran rep. let's gooooo (wait this is for the groups performing later, realized this when ran picked Momoka)

Ran picks: Ranka ooooo A-F support!, KASSA!!!! LET'S FUCKING GOOO, KEIKO!!!, MOMOKA!!! YEI YEI YEI!!! Nonoka ohhhh (cuteness support logic, i see)

Meika pics: Ayaka, F class support; Shizuku i love her voice, Tsuzumi let's gooooo, Sakura ok i c i c (Kassa and "Gyaru ga kita" lol) and Suzu (balance on cuteness)

Yui rep OWO: Tsukushi, Nano, Nagomi bby!!!!, Moe, Joa (Koto felt betrayed?)

I'll stop with the picks

i like Fuka being rep

Miu can change anything?

Kassa didn't want Miu to pick anyone from her group, Kassa protecting mode

I like Miu liking Hazuki low tones; SHE STOLE SUZU!!! stealing Nano, and kokoro, LOL TSUZUMI SCREAMING

wait, why are the other stealing members? this got so confusing, but Ran's got no changes, nice

death battle for the song OWO

ohhhh runing

guru guru!!!

YABAI!

fights for songs on the floor nice!!! (me a bit violent)

teams w/o song must figth the ones with? HOW?!

oh, the ones w songs battle the ones without, i see; but if someone wants it can rise hand, i see

Kassa when Ran gave the appeal! Nice, i like that Kassa i see i see, interesting

part 4 choosing positions and rehearsals:

Miyu leader cuz experience, good

Kotone leader cuz older, my common idea, age or experience

Rimika must be so frustrated…

Kassa's idea to pick center was "nice idea" for me, but i got her same conclusion, they all should be center, everyone voted for Kassa to center… well i'm having a kassa on aisare route thought lapsus

it was between suzu and nano that center, sorry miu, you were boring, but you're not dissapointed, that's good

Miu helping the other team, awww (i'd do the same, it reminds me something i was told at uni, "it's a race to be better than the other, but you must teamwork and help each other anyways", i got reminded of it w Miu's action)

part 5 battle on stage time!:

lol someone w kalea's banner lol

i can't w nakasone, she's so funny

okay how you like that groups, already saw the performances tho…

Black Cats:

I have more liking here cuz Nagomi bby and Yui

they seem to have a hard time on rehearsals, specially leader/center Moe….

it's true that Nagomi fit's it the least, she's bby, but she can learn bout this…

they all want Moe as center, she just need more support, oh leader changed to Yui

awww Yui hugging Nagomi, everyone supporting her, i love it, she's so bby

bby improved while starting to enjoy, nice nice.

clapclapclap to Moe

love how Yui looks

oh Yui main vocals, ok ok

ufff Tsukushi's mic but she could manage it anyways

Joa voice, i like it for rap, cool

fuuuuu yui & nagomi gooooo

Show Up:

Mihaya has troubles to connect names to faces? me too sometimes girl

This team had it hard…

hard works made better team work? apparently

i feel like Mihaya came out of a cocoon or chrysalis as a butterfly after getting this union and team work

Hana is giving me an impression mainly and the one who is rap 1 i think?

Black cats might have the win here…

yui 41 konomi 6

nagomi 37? bby nooo chiharu 55 (tho makes sense i think?)

moe 29 hana 18, moe got less than i thought…

rino 43 mihaya 8, not surprise, tho i do feel mihaya surprised me while looking at the rehearsal footage

joa 31 rikako 25, close close i think

tsukushi 84 mei 24 doesn't surprise me even w mic accident either way black cats win, show up did their best, had a hard time to connect specially mihaya, i feel it was nice

something something melty:

there's Kotone!!

Iyota Hana has a Kubota Nanami vibe here i think…

they look so happy and enjoying this

damn that "futsuu" but yeah, enjoying alone won't give the best

the other Hana has a time with expressions, i see

poor Nana

why there are lotta shots without Kotone? i'm curious

wow the other Hana

LET'S GO KOTONE!!!

forgot main vocal girl name, but good

let's go kotone x10000000

also the other hana expresions got nice

Queen Bee:

Miyu has a interesting face shape and the curve her mouth goes is weird in a nice way

Rin's voice is nice (also weird interesting faceshape… that kinda reminds me of Ozeki Mai)

how everyone suppors ayano cuz of her dancing and Yumeki's words

what the other ayano btw? ahhh she has trouble on the singing… oh no, she has confidence troubles in general

Miyu is so cute with the others, specially Rin

poor Rin's voice tho

i also like Rin's voice Thelma

Rio cute in the sexy way

nice nice

I think i liked Hana's "narcissistic" part over Miyu's idk if in singing or expressions maybe both

shion 27 y. ayano 11, no surprise, tho ayano got better on vocals, yes

i. hana 4 rio 44, surprise the gap… tho kinda expected it? idk

kotone 30 karin 38… i lit couldn't get a grasp of karin, but god it was close, sad for Kotone

y. hana 81 miyu 28?! i said i liked more hana's lines tbf cute hana btw

nana 5 k. ayano 55… ayano got more confident on her dance and was captivating, i agree

honoka 18 rin 56… damn poor honoka… but i also liked rin's voice more

i'm sad cuz of Kotone and y. hana, but clapclapclap queen bee sad Miyu as well tho

Noborizaka6:

Ayaka crying from the start…

oofff hard time for this group and Misaki

Misaki like… adopted F class girls

poor kagura and ayaka

big change we like to see it, more confidence as leader on Ayaka i think

public support, nice

i don't think they'll win, but i feel like nakasone saying "they improved"

lowkey wanna cry for Misaki and her F class girls

they're giving their all i think, so it's nice, i don't like anyone here but i feel like a proud mother

Wakey Wakey?:

AYANEEEEEEEE

group who had hard time to understand lyrics, apparently

EMA?! NO JPOP CHOREO BEFORE?!

Ayane is me understanding songs whenever i sing and (fail to) dance in my room and imagine something

Miyu is cute in the way i found Yamaki Risa cute… idk

their dance arrangement i loved it, i swear

i love Ayane's dead looking face idk idk and how she walks in the rehearsal videos, so… idk… but mood

Miyu is interesting and apparently good leader

Miyu's idea was nice, but weird to execute

now i feel nervous

ii jan ii jan ii jan too Thelma

OMG AYANE'S VOCALS

everyone is so good in my idea

Mena is so interesting as well (is the one who left school for this?)

the wink!!!

the end is beautiful

Ema was amazing anyways i was worried

Ayane's heart was so cute (every minute i just love Ayane more, since i find out she's INTP, sorry sorry)

awww Misaki's words to Ayaka…

awwww Ayane talking is just awwww for me cuz her anxiousness

Miu 3 sae 10…

Mimi 5 Aoi 8… i'm starting to worry

poor Mayu 1 when Miyu 46 (oh! 46 like nogizaka bad joke bad joke) tho i was expecting this

Misaki 4 Ema 50 expected

Kagura 55 Mena 49… wow, i'm surprised, deserved i think, tho Mena was interesting anyways

Ayaka 45 Ayane 151 THE GAP MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD BOUT AYAKA BUT LET'S FUCKING GO AYANE!!!!

awww ayane's surprise face (tho it' was her win an obvious one with Miyu's and Ema's)

ofc Wakey won, it was pretty good performance, but i'm so sad for those F class girls now!!!!

Minx:

Rin revealing they practiced together is so cute, and again i love Miu decided to help them

ohhh Rin got alone at one point and the other group helped her in many ways I WANNA CRY!!!

Only Rin and Kano? this group has a problem here

poor Rin all worried, obviously she's the leader

i'm also proud of her nakasone

i'm proud of the 2 working alone (sadly this happened tho)

me too nakasone i wanna cry they have something i needed this to know

Rin and Kano put literally their Body & Soul there, i also wanna hug them!!!

Miu's group were yasashii oneesans

last day the other 4 joined?! at least they did, but i feel worried and sad

awww they sent they're lessons, awww… that's full of effort…

happy they joined at least

i hope they do good, at least for Rin and Kano

Shizuku hurts me tho, i liked her voice but here she dissapointed me a bit

i wanna hug Rin so badly, like "baby you have this, and Miu's group think the same

ok ok performance, but i wanna cry

kawaii Rin

ahhhhh Shizuku's ad libs v classic-y

i guessed Shizuku would be main vocal cuz classical, sounds a bit weird but nice

i loved these outfits

nice Kano!

to get all this together the last day of rehealsals, it's so good!

KANO!!! RIN!!! I'M PROUD OF YOU 2

New bud:

Miu!!! Tsuzumi!!! Kokoro!!!

NEXT WEEK… but they have all a big love cuz they were so yasashii oneesans (specially Miu) with Rin's group

part 7 ranking:

LET'S GO KASSA!!! (i missed forgot the whole ranking)

[fiyasgideon]

Those rude ask are cowards for hiding behind the anon to share their thoughts. I'd love to see them burn a $50.

They got one thing right; it is disgusting the community is split over this. Theft is theft. I'm sorry you dealt with this alone so long, only to be met with backlash from the community for simply warning people. You weren't rude. You were much more patient and nice than I would have been, to be completely honest. I respect the way you handled this and the way you've dealt with the backlash. You have people on your side and I am one of them.

The founders community needs to do better.

I don't mind people staying on anon to share their thoughts. It's when those thoughts are borderline victim blaming that I have an issue with. You can say what you want about me, it's whatever. But when you say things like "you have blown this out to be like she stole hundreds of dollars from you" or "why would you post that now, when she's going through a hard time" it sets up other victims into thinking that they can't share their bad experiences UNLESS they were robbed of hundreds of dollars or if the person who stole from them is in a better situation.

There shouldn't be a condition on when or if you should be able to tell people about being stolen from or taken advantage of. Otherwise victims might never get the chance to talk about it or share their experience with others who might also end up in their situation.

And thank you, I am doing my best in this situation. Despite everything, I will stay true to myself and strive to keep things civil. I don't want to hurt any feelings or get others in trouble for their views. In the end, if you still want to support Lena, that's your decision to make. I don't need you to come at me to try and explain or justify yourself. What you do is your choice.

Thank you anon for the support, it means a lot.

[cassyapper]

thank you for the Jotaro content. i'll never say no to Jotaro content. do you have any Jotaro thoughts that are occupying your mind that you'd like to share during this category 4 event or is it just a bunch of vibrating in place and pointing at the man (bc I get it)?

god anon you get me so completley

sequence of jumbled jotaor thoughts it's not a steady line of thought im jsut fucking crazy also im not proofreading this

im thinking about how the first time jotaro smiles in the manga it's when he's holding a gun to his head

i think about how holly screamed. i think about how it's implied jotaro did this more than once because he knew his brains werent going to blow out in front of his mom he did this to show off star platinum's frightening abilities he wasnt trying to die....this time at least. but earlier? well

i think about how he was 17 when his entire world is flipped upside, when he truly meets his grandfather for the first time, when he understands why his mother is the way she is (dont get me started on this ohhh do not get me started on this). i thinka bout how he met his first friends got 50 precious days with them and then lost them. even the ones that lived. him and polnareff are a tragedy of "we could've been great" because, with their differences in circumstance and their individual forms of grieving, i honestly think they both resent the fact that the other lived and not someone else just as much as they resent that they themselves lived. survivor's guilt spilling over and being directed at the only other person who understands. it sucks. also he loses joseph cause after being without oxygen for that long he had brain damage (as evidence by how much he aged in the 10 years btwn diu and sdc as opposed to the 50 years between bt and sdc) and he just, broke i think from the guilt of getting his friends killed again (avdol and kakyoin particularly). i think jotaro was alone again in anew way and it RUINS THE REST OF HIS LIIIFE

i think about how jotaro was beginning to trust the others when boom, the second he tries to trust them in the final battle to do their own thing, they die. every time he isnt there people die. polnareff wouldve died if he wasn't there. jospeh would've died if he wasnt there. everyone else died cause he wasn't there. he literally WAS ON THE WAY TO GETTING BETTER TO LEARNIGN TO TRUST PEOPLE but it fell in at such a critical moment and had such dire conseqeunces and he couldnt he couldnt he couldnt and so he didnt and it culminates 23 years later when he's not enough by himself to save his daughter, he trades the world for her and he still couldnt do it because he tried to do it alone ough my GOD

i thinka bout how he loved the crusaders so much he was so vulnerable with them he showed off his underbelly so sevrely and then he's hurt and hurt and hurt and he becomes so consumed in his own hurt that he runs CIRCLES trying to find a way to make sure he has the power to never ever ever let it happen again and so he isolates and he does things alone and he doesnt train the world cause he has trouble seeing it as anything other than dio (but it's him too he couldve made it his own but he didnt and it led to not having enough of a girp on it to save his DAUGHTER when seconds were the most preicous thing in the world)

i think about how he loved them i think about how he did the stupid cigarette tricks with them about how they knew how to comfort him when he was acting erratically and scared how this implies that he's done that before how it means they saw and helped him through it and he communicated how they can help him through it HOW HE ASKS THEM TO HELP HIM i thin abuotu how the only time we see him trust his loved ones not just himself BUT HIS LVOED ONES to someone else is in stardust crusaders and then it's gone and he never does it again i think about how losing the crusaders made him so grief stricken that he essentially signs his death warrant like he had gone past the event horizon but couldnt fall in just yet it was done it was done he was done

i think about how he killed people and he was so scared and he had blood on his hands i think about how he's teeth and nails and fists and it manifests in star platinum's offensive abilities i think about how he is so scared and he is so desperate and he loves so, so, so much, he tries to punch to distract the fact his heart is on his sleeve

i think about how uncomfortable he msut be with knives or anything sharp after everything i think about how he needs pressure but if something is too tight on his chest he'll hyperventilate i think about how he can't look at clocks and he can't look at his own stand and he can't look at himself i think he must hate the color yellow (his daughter has blond streaks in her hair, it must be some sort of joke)

i think about his relationships with people and how they both save and damn him simultaneously i think about how the relationships he has post part 3 give him some solace while he's marching toward his own deathbed and his refusal to deviate form that path means the relationships get strained and ripped and a chunk of his heart falls away every time it happens he is bleeding so so much so to speakby the time he even makes it to pucci it's no wonder he barely put up a fight it must have been a mercy (it was until it meant his daughter had no one left to be a shield for her)

i tink im drying. dying.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: cancer, illness, hospital mention, death child abuse and all that follows

I'm the Anon who talked about c-ptsd symptoms and "only imagining the darkness as a child." You can tag me as "🌱☔️"!

(Vent)

In the last two years I went through great healing - I finally got friends and they showed me a completely different perspective on life (earlier I only had friends who themselves were in genuinely hard situations [depression, abuse, etc.]) I found role models and inspiration, new interests, and finally got access to some of the basic resources I didn't have as a child.

I slowly started to acknowledge my pain and step by step started to grow. About a month ago I even got to reveal it to two of my close friends (separately), of whom I knew that they (although they wanted to) couldn't understand me without having some of that "background information." One broke down crying, saying that she only now did understand many things looking back, and the other was sincerely shook, saying that he "will need to process that." For neither of them did I include the actually painful details, I only barely mentioned how my Dad's father was neglectful and sometimes aggressive, and how my Dad adapted and justified his ideology so he doesn't have to face the painful past and admit that the way his parents treated him wasn't right. He was harsh and extremely critical (and physically neglectful!) both towards us and himself and hated all emotions - he almost only let himself feel "righteous rage" against his and our imperfectness. He knew that he was intelligent, (he truly was!) so he tried to prove his worth by doing something great for the world - but he never got to achieve his dream. Three months ago, in October, he died of cancer. (It was the very same type his father had died of.) He was only a few years older than 50.

[Once I brought him food to the hospital and he was sitting on his bed and nudged me to take care, and dress up warmly, because "it is cold in here" (he was by then constantly freezing of fever), worried for me not to catch a cold - he wasn't ever so gentle before. 😢 ]

It's a tragedy. I did love him, despite all - in the whole world, I was probably the closest to him and understood him the most. I was always the translator and advocate between my parents and even my little brother. I was always there to listen and even managed to break the ice a little so he accepted some caring from me.

Our lives (sadly but undeniably) got a lot more peaceful since then, Mom started to slowly heal as well (hallelujah!) (her family was nothing ideal either, but I won't go into details...) and is a lot more kinder now and I'm truly happy that she is getting better. Now we really have a lot better relationship and I'm glad to be 18, because now she doesn't treat me as a traitor, or as a child who's wrong by default, but as a friend. (Yess! Life goals!)

The original idea I started to type upon was that even though I acknoweledged the pain earlier, recently I reconsidered and all my "trauma" was because I was a selfish and self-centered child (nor this nor the opposite can be proved). My Mom used to say that I was "very good at self-pity" and that I "didn't have much empathy." Now, that really hurts, if it's true, because all I ever defined myself by was my will to help people (back then by self-sacrifice). And now I'm just facing the reality that all I have experienced as "traumatic" was because I took all that my parents said to heart (threats and "creative punishments" I don't even know I remember right, [Mom doesn't] but that made me believe that all I ever have can be taken away at any given moment and it's only their mercy that it isn't) or because I was indeed a horrible kid as a 4 years old so much that they could only deal with me this way??? I will never understand. I only know my "symptoms", the comics I drew and the bed time story I told myself all about escaping (to a forest, to a hospital with an illness or because of getting hurt, being homeless, getting into a children's home, etc.) and going away so I won't burden them. I never wanted to burden them! Why are children burden to their families...

I'm still pretty harsh on myself, especially lately. Also, I got to reunite with a friend of mine who was also abused and just moved away from home, but the way she told me her story, made me see my experience a lot less significant.

Thank you for patiently listening! Just writing it out helped put things right in my head already.

BTW thank you for all you do!! You don't even realize how much it means for many of us! 💖

I wish you all the bests!

Hi 🌱☔️,

First of all I'm so glad to hear about your healing journey. I'm also so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad to hear that your relationship with your mother has improved.

I think it's a little ridiculous that you've been made to feel like you were a "selfish" or "self-centered" child, because you were a child. As children we can really only process things in the context of ourselves, you know? We've just began to navigate the world, and the self is the only thing we know to be true, so it can be what's used to measure against other things, you know? I feel like anyone who suggests you should've known better, or that you should've had more empathy, especially at 4, doesn't really understand childhood development. I also want to suggest that if you were a "horrible" kid at 4 years old then it's indicative that something was impacting you.

Please know that trauma is not defined by what happened, it's defined by its effect on you. In other words, no matter what happened, if you were traumatized by it, then it's valid trauma. What happened is important, but it doesn't determine whether or not you're "rightfully" traumatized. That's because our brains, genes, environment, and other factors are all so different that people are going to psychologically respond to the same situation on different levels. Some people may not find a particular incident traumatic while another may be deeply disturbed, and that's okay.

I often find that comparing your trauma to others just minimizes your own trauma, and that can feel bad. It's important to remember that comparing your trauma to others is usually not conducive to healing. Your trauma is significant to you just as your friend's trauma is significant to her. You may be going through different things, but your trauma and what you're going through as a result is still worth examining and healing from. Your trauma is valid.

It's definitely easier said than done, but it may be worth working on being kinder to yourself. You've been through a lot, you're going through a lot, and as a survivor, you owe it to yourself to give yourself a break, you know?

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

https://www.tumblr.com/struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor/753211634402623488/hybe-has-always-been-greedy-they-know-how-to-do?source=share

I read your reply few days back but didn't get the time to reply so doing it now.

"it's not just a fan song though it's a fan song from hybe's 2nd biggest artists after BTS" and the fan song has been treated the same way as BTS's fan song and not just a solo fan song. "Hybe should have done better job with jungkook" i don't have anything to say to that.

I wasn't talking about the tweets made by music apps and what kind of engagement jk fans are giving it but i was talking about tweets made by official BH accts which were 3 overall for CTT.

As said above it's a fan song for festa and it was treated like one even if it was a solo fan song for festa.

I have seen the same tweets from jjks about jk having more monthly US listeners and i have also seen other side saying that's because of the western artists' name (for all the collabs jk had) who's had those monthly listeners. and for the cities too they said it only shows some 33 US countries or smtg like that. been some days since i read that so i don't remember the exact words from other side aka pjms but it was something like that. I'm sure the qts of those tweets from jjks must have pjms saying/explaining something in retaliation but i don't have twitter atm so i can't check it now. so yeah that's what i remember for those two things. now as for streaming farms hmm isn't this whole "streaming" thing itself is "streaming farms" ?? like creating 20-50 mails then streaming from those many accts it itself is a streaming farm cause no human is listening to same songs playing from 20-30 devices at the same time. i also do remember armys getting hit tweets regularly calling Lisa's streams from Thailand as streaming farms cause she was getting alot of her streams from Thailand and since Thailand doens't even have 1M active listeners yet but the songs getting those many streams so they used to drag her then. and now jungkook is the artist who's got the highest streams(1.2M smtg) from Thailand for all his songs which is way more than lisa but i see no one saying anything about that so i expect ppl(in general) to really shut their mouth about jm getting 600k from a country who's got 100M active listeners on Spotify. jm doing better than his 2nd week during LC release is nothing weird given the songs that grow on ppl increases their streams gradually. the recent example being Sabrina. Plus jm has always been the most popular in US which many has problem accepting hence accusing his fans of using vpns when the song be playing casually in any shops, malls etc i there..he has a big fanbase there. The increase in streams can also be because some ppl might have chosen that going solo path leaving their army era behind so working extra hard. US doens't allow vpns is what i know. There's many US jm solos on twitter if one wanna check.

For the last para i only mentioned CTT cause it's also a solo fan song so the comaparion is fair enough as you were comparing jk's fan song with new jeans's and lee Sara's digital single or album TTH songs. and i was genuinely shocked that NLG didn't debut on US give seven had 2M which is highest for a member. from 2M to no debut one does get shocked. I'll be shocked too if jm's next songs don't debut their given how well he is doing with LC and CTT was also debuted. of course the ppl not loving songs as much could become reasons too for both jm and jk.

i saw s/o other anon replying to ur this post too which wasn't me. I'm off Tumblr now so it's the last reply nd yeah that's what i wanted to say. there ain't any hate or dislike towards jk but i see difference of treatment btw him and other members or more specially jm because they seems to be have decided to not give jm even the simple things others are getting without pjms having to tag them. The difference is there Which i see, many others do see it too but there's also many who don't which is fine too ig.

Okay.

[tayonces]

'#but the way i got an anon saying she is 50 times better and more genuine than redacted' is redacted Taylor Swift? This is a safe space

YES JDFJAHJCFA i didn't want to publish it saying i prefer sza over taylor on a general scale cus y'all like to tussle esp on main. i get flashbacks when i was more active/had more followers and people argued with me about EVERYTHING 😭