#but the way everyone is obsessing over her love life 24/7 is pissing me off and it's just really tiring

[myvirtuesuncounted]

i'll be so honest, i am only in the swiftie fandom for the music atp

[trashmouth-richie]

TWIN FLAMES

Eddie Munson x female!reader

“You and I we are embers from the same fire, dust from the same star, echoes of the same love.” -Craig Crippen

Summary: Your boyfriend Steve is everything you’ve ever wanted. Handsome, kind, a great lover. Nothing could ever stray you away from him. Or is there?

<w/c> 5.7k (1/??)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x y/n female!reader Eddie Munson x y/n female!reader Vickie x Robin

Warnings: underage alcohol use, drug use, fighting, mentions of child abuse, mentions of murder.

A/N: happy saturday, this is a first ever fic for me! Like everyone on the planet, I am obsessed with Eddie Munson, I’m nervous very nervous to be posting this! But feedback is greatly appreciated! Also shout/out to @boomhauer for reading this and giving me advice ❤️‍🔥

knock knock no vecna here ❗️his crusty ass does not exist in this fic and will never

masterlist

———————————————————————————

You and Steve Harrington have been dating since freshman year. Both of your dads went to Harvard together and you had known Steve since you were infants. Always together during the holidays and weekend trips to Indianapolis, your friendship blossomed into something more. He wasn’t always big hair and a cute ass in jeans, he was once a pimply preteen with a puberty voice and braces. But it didn’t matter, you loved him then and loved him now. Going into your senior year you couldn’t wait to graduate high school and leave Indiana behind with Steve by your side. You had both already talked about going to Harvard to follow in your parents footsteps. It was the perfect, ideal life you had always wanted. It was a safe option, And you were smitten.

Living in Bridgeport which is east of Hawkins about 15 miles and an even smaller town than Hawkins, you didn’t really know anyone besides Steve’s friends that went to Hawkins High. So when he picked you up on that hot July night to go to a party at some farm in Hawkins, you didn’t expect to meet anyone in particular.

“Steve can you please slow down, I’m going to poke my fucking eye out back here!” Robin yells from the backseat, Robin had been trying to achieve the perfect smoky eye look for the last 10 miles.

“Oh piss off Robin, Vickie will be too busy staring at your boobies to notice whether or not your eyeliner is even” Steve shoots back.

You stifle a giggle, their banter is something you miss during the school months when you’re dealing with the assholes at your school. Steve squeezes your thigh and gives you a wink before turning up the radio and singing along to REO Speedwagon.

“Hey did you guys hear that Susie and her family are moving to Hawkins?! I thought Dustin was going to lose his voice when he told me he was screaming so loud” you added through the car.

Steve turns the radio down and agrees, “yeah he was pretty excited, honestly I am too it’ll be nice to actually meet her instead of listening to him talk about her 24/7”.

“Fucking finally!” Robin says as Steve pulls up to the large nearly run down barn. Usually the parties you accompany Steve to are at his house but, both of your parents were there throwing a “Wine Club” party for the Hawkins elite. So Tommy Johnson, who must have been a senior like Steve, decided to have the pre holiday celebration at his parents abandoned barn. It made you feel a little uncomfortable drinking somewhere you’ve never been before. Both Steve and Robin assured you it was cool, Tommy’s parents were friends with the Hawkins Police and they never bothered to even check in.

Robin is the first out of the car before it’s even in park, she grabs her bottle of Boonesfarm from the trunk and makes her way over to where Vickie is dancing along to Michael Jackson. Before you can even unbuckle your seatbelt, Robin and Vickie are all over each other. You clear your throat to Steve pointing out Robin and Vickie. Steve rolls his eyes and laughs.

“She deserves to be happy, it took her a long time to find someone who wasn’t just using her for a one time experience”. A single tear wells up in his eyes and you can see how incredibly happy he is for his closest friend.

Robin truly is one of a kind. Taller than most girls and uniquely her own, Robin was sweet and your first friend from Hawkins outside of Steve. In the 4 years you’ve known her, she has never forgotten your birthday or your and Steve’s anniversary. You had heard of the awful things people would say to her knowing that she was different, the popular girls even accused her of staring and taking pictures of them in the locker rooms while changing for P.E. She was the town pariah until Vickie showed up, saving Robin in ways no one else could.

Slamming the door shut to the car and making your way over to Steve, you smile up at him as he wraps his arm around your waist walking into the Christmas light lit barn.

A mixture of gravel and loose dirt grating beneath your shoes is muffled as music begins pounding through your ears. The barn is crowded and sweltering, sweaty bodies are bopping along to the music. Beer is spilled all over the wooden splintered floor becoming puddled in places the old floor has been warped from use. Looking up seeing Steve wave to some familiar faces, you start to recognize a few people who are regulars at Steve’s parties.

Nancy and El are opposite Jonathan and Mike; a long makeshift table between them. The closer you get you notice the “table” is a door, ripped off its hinges and sitting atop two sawhorses. Red plastic cups filled to the brim with warm cheap beer are set in a triangle in front of the girls, only two cups missing. Across the table, four cups are arranged in no particular pattern in front of Jonathan and Mike. Clearly the girls are whooping their asses in beer pong.

“El! No powers, it's not fair!!” Mike yells removing another cup as Johnathan chugs one previously removed. El wipes her nose and high fives Nancy.

“Balls back bitches!” Nancy squeals, jumping up and down. You wave politely to the crew and they all hoot and holler back at you and Steve. Max and Lucas are standing hip to hip in a small crowd watching Max’s brother Billy do a keg stand and cheering and counting along,

“25, 26, 27….”

“That’s a fucking record Hargrove!” a tall red haired teen shouts holding his hands up to his mouth imitating a megaphone, a cigarette staggering between his fingers and ashes falling like snow to the ground.

The teens holding Billy’s legs set him down as he throws both arms up in the air like a boxer being announced champion. He leans his head back, hair sticky with sweat, eyes glossed over clearly the effects of another stimulant. He puckers his mouth as if to whistle but instead spits beer in the air towards the crowd. You watch as the girls in the crowd open their mouths to catch any fallen drips of beer from the atmosphere as if Billy is the second coming of Christ himself.

Steve gives you a look of disgust and rubs on your back and guides you both towards a beat up green patterned couch. You know Steve is not Billy’s biggest fan, only tolerating him because of Max, calling him an outright unhinged psycho. He frequented Steve’s parties and made his presence known by doing the infamous keg stands. Girls flocked to him, hoping to become his flavor of the night like he was a goddamn celebrity.

Careful not to sit on the exposed springs on the beat to shit couch, you scoot to the end of the couch, leaning against the side taking in the smells of dusty hay, weed, and spilled alcohol. Steve grabs you a beer before plopping down next to you throwing his arm around your shoulder. He leans into you and whispers “you’re the prettiest girl here y/n” in your ear before kissing your temple and blowing a raspberry into your ear. You squeal and dig your maroon painted fingers into his armpit knowing that’s his most ticklish spot. You both laugh and share a kiss, cuddled up as you watch the party and giggle as people start dancing terribly to ‘Thriller’.

“Oh shit, hey babe I’m gonna go talk to Tommy really quick, you okay here for a bit?” Steve whispers into your ear. You nod and he gets up, leaning down to give you a quick kiss on your lips.

“Be right back!” He says, as he saunters off through the crowd.

Tapping your foot along to the music, you take some long swigs of your beer. letting your mind wander. It's crazy to you how close you are to being a senior and how not soon after that you will be going to college with Steve. Both of your mothers had talked you both into getting senior pictures done together last month. It was a perfect cool June morning that day and you and Steve had on slightly matching outfits, light faded jeans with white button ups. Your mother was tearing up behind the photographer as Steve’s mother clung to her wiping her nose. You can’t believe how lucky you were to have Steve in your life. He was your first everything, boyfriend, kiss, you both were virgins before each other. It was perfect. You couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with Steve and to become Y/n Y/m/n Harrington.

Soon your beer is gone and Steve has left the sixer in the trunk. Looking around you spot another keg opposite where the one Billy and his cronies were. You get up making your way across the party lightly bumping into peoples shoulders and squeezing your way around a couple making out. Nobody is around the keg when you finally spot it. Eyeing a plastic cup you place the nozzle into it and begin pumping the tap on the keg— nothing happens. A small trickle of cream foam makes its way out of the nozzle falling into the cup like molasses. Well that settles why no one is around the keg.

Standing on a nearby crate you look around the barn for Steve. Shouldn’t be too hard, just need to find that perfect suave head of his, he isn’t called “the hair” because he uses Irish spring as shampoo. But to no avail, Steve is nowhere in site. You climb down from the crate and begin pushing your way back to the other keg Billy has claimed for himself. Walking through a dense cloud of weed smoke you hear someone singing “Free Bird” and two other voices giggling. Coughing a bit and nearing the keg, you hear Billy shouting at someone.

“Hey watch it dick!” Billy is now wearing a pink sweater? No wait, that’s a girl wrapped around him like a leech, her mouth still attached to his neck as he yells.

“What the fuck did you say to me Hargrove?” a guy in a green letterman jacket yells back.

“I said, watch where you’re throwing that tic tac you call dick around before I knock your ass out” Billy grunts pushing the girl off of him and stepping towards the other guy so that they are nose to nose. He is sweating profusely and wearing a big purple hickey where the human sucker fish girl was previously.

They are both staring at each other with looks that could kill. “Oh real—" the comeback is cut short by Billy as he leans back and throws a hard punch right into the other guy's jaw.

The guy stumbles backwards into his friends as he caresses his jaw. He stands to his full height and shoves Billy backwards. Everyone starts yelling and you realize you are in a compromised position. You aren’t sure how it happens but you are caught in the mix of the fight and before you know it, you get knocked backward, hard.

Your head connects with a loud thwack as it hits a wooden post extending upwards to support the old barn. Almost immediately you can feel the headache pumping through your eyeballs. Sitting up as the room begins to spin and touching the side of your head, you can feel a warm thick liquid beginning to pool on your shoulder. The cut feels small but since you have been drinking the blood comes quickly. Before you can even understand how to get out of the barn or to find Steve, arms come behind you and under your arms, helping you stand up and ushering you towards the door to outside.

“Move! Get the fuck out of the way!” The voice behind you says. You’re fading in and out. You suddenly feel the lightness of your body floating. A bed? No, a cloud has wrapped around you and is carrying you higher and higher to the sky. The sensation is comforting and you can hear someone talking to you in a sweet angelic voice. When you finally open your eyes, a pair of warm rough hands are holding your face, a slight sting to them.

You look up to see a pair of melted hershey's kiss eyes staring back at you.

But they aren’t the usual brown eyes you are used to seeing. These eyes are so brown they could fill a naughty kid’s stocking at Christmas. The ones you always see are lighter— like little pots of honey. The shape is different too, these are big, almost doe like. The outline of a face finally comes into view. It’s not one you recognize. You blink repeatedly trying to focus your vision on who is in front of you.

———————-

“FUCK JULY!” Eddie shouts to anyone who will listen. “It’s hot, sticky, fuck— how the hell am I supposed to wear a leather jacket if it’s 110 degrees out here?!”

“Simple, you don’t” Jeff says wiping his brow. “But if you would shut the hell up we could get done faster”

“Why the fuck did you want to do this outside?!” Gareth whines.

Tonight was the night any small town drug dealer waits all year for. All the jock bastards and their girlfriends and their older brothers and sisters are home for the 4th of July holiday and the only thing they are looking for is to get high. And since Reefer Rick was locked up since April.. Eddie is the main attraction.

Instead of Eddie’s usual lunch box he toted around for quick deals, he turned the back of the van into a full blown operation. The three teens have been rolling joints and blunts since sun up this morning. The morning was a decent 75° but once the wind died down it was game over for the metal heads. Gareth had seriously been thinking of cutting off his jeans into a daisy duke type outfit. Eddie, refusing to do anything not metal, was full clad in jeans, leather jacket and shaggy curly hair. Jeff had retired his shirt and tied it around his head in a makeshift bandana.

The thing about Forest Hills trailer park is that there is next to zero shade. So there they were, huffing it out in the back of Eddie’s van, arms coated in sweat and hair stuck to the back of their necks. Each getting more and more irritated as the day goes on.

“Alright boys let’s split these up into bags: 5 to a bag on the left and 10 to a bag on the right.” Eddie directs.

Jason Carver had been the one to make the call to Eddie and specifically ask for weed and coke for Johnson’s party tonight. That white powdery shit is a BIG payday for Eddie and as much as he hates carrying it, never having even touched it himself… Okay fine! There was that one time where Rick and Sal had convinced Eddie to snort a pixy stick, and it turns out they traded the sugary colored powdered candy out for coke. Yeah hilarious. Since then, Eddie hasn’t touched the shit, but knowing it was a “rich man’s” drug he really couldn’t resist the extra cash. And if it would take all day to arrange the drugs to make a big sale, he would do it.

With everything set up and ready to go Eddie stands to his feet hitting his head with a thud on the roof of the van.

“Jesus H Christ!” He grunts, rubbing his thick, tangled and sweaty hair against his head.

“Alright boys,” Eddie says now leaning forward and ducking out of the van, “I’m gonna take a shower and I suggest you both do the same if you plan on trying to get laid tonight.”

Jeff lets out a laugh wiping his face with his bandana shirt combo and hopping out of the van, “what time you picking us up Eddie?”

“Yeah no shit, I still have to get Mark to buy us some booze” Gareth chimes in.

“Ehh 9:30 and not a minute later, here’s $20 for my beer.”

Eddie says handing Gareth the money. He slips it into his pocket and they disappear in Jeff’s car, a cloud of dust trailing behind them out of the trailer park.

Eddie stretches the cramps out of his long legs and climbs the steps up to the trailer. The blast of lukewarm air hits his face and the relief enters his pores and begins the cooling sensation all over his body.

After taking a longer than normal cold shower only getting out after hearing Uncle Wayne pounding on the door, “Damn son, you better have all of your laundry in there washing it by hand with how long your skinny ass has been in there for wasting that water!” Eddie emerges from the bathroom with a towel hung low on his hips.

“Sorry” he chuckles to Wayne. “It’s just fucking hot out today”

“Listen I don’t want to know what you’re doing in there just try to cut it short alright” Wayne says tussling Eddie’s wet hair giving him a grin through parted lips a cigarette hanging between them.

—————————————————————————

Finally getting ready and picking up the boys, Gareth, Eddie and Jeff made it to Johnson’s barn and are shotgunning cool beers in celebration. Suds run down Eddie’s chin and he wipes them away with the back of his hand. The deal between Eddie and Jason has been dealt with and all that was left in the van were a couple of joints.

Gareth is hunkered down in the back of the van doing smoke tricks trying hard to impress some junior girls. Eddie looks back and gives his friend a thumbs up and a shit eating grin. Jealousy is something that comes quickly to Eddie. Not that he was jealous of Gareth, hell no. He just was jealous that a girl was paying attention to him in that way, well any sort of way.

Eddie always thought of himself as not only a lost sheep but a black sheep as well. “Stealing, dealing, Victor Creelin’” that was the ‘Munson men’ mantra that was engraved in his brain since he was 7 years old. And as badass as that sounded, he just didn’t fit the bill.

Instead of stealing whatever was valuable and doing shady deals and killing whoever got in the way like his dad, Eddie started working full time at only thirteen years old in the summer time for Jimmy at his garage in town. Begging Jimmy and promising he wouldn’t turn out like his old man, Eddie was a natural at learning the ins and outs of the cars that came through the bays. Jimmy taught him everything he knew from airing up a tire to repairing motors, he took Eddie under his wing and showed him the ropes. Giving Eddie some pride for the first time in his life from someone other than his uncle Wayne.

After being tossed in juvy at eight years old for being an accomplice to a string of gas station robberies and even the murder of one of the clerks and naive enough to think that his dad would take the blame only to pin it all on Eddie: he vowed to never take anything his dad said seriously again. The county finally pulled their heads out of their asses and Eddie was released.

He even gathered enough courage to tell his dad to fuck off when he asked for Eddie’s help one week after his 6 month stay in juvy for one more job, earning him a black eye that the whole town turned their heads at.

But not towards him to see that he was being abused at home, but away from him, regarding him as trailer trash and that whatever happened he probably deserved it. Wayne stepped in after that, being awarded full guardianship over Eddie since his dad was locked up and would be for life.

That was twelve years ago, and Eddie hadn’t seen his dad since. Wayne and Eddie moved on from the past trying like hell to change the “Munson men Mantra”. Wayne was rough around the edges, skin like leather, voice gruff but he was honest, hard working and showed Eddie how to make an honest man’s wage. As grateful as Eddie was for Wayne, there was always something missing. He knew Wayne cared for him but what Eddie yearned for was someone to love him in a way Wayne could not. He wanted to love someone like in those cheesy romcom movies he caught Wayne sometimes watching.

The daydreaming gaze in Eddie’s eyes is lost at the sight of Dustin Henderson and Will Byers double fisting some beer. “Ah, good sirs, what have we here?”

“Eddie! Man I didn’t think you would show up to this party! Mike, Will and I begged Nancy to drag us along. Mike told her that he would tell their mom if she didn’t bring us with! Pretty cool right?!” Dustin brags. Eddie can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they both look. His Hellfire crew, his little lost sheep that he had a brotherly love for. He would die for these kids and they all knew it.

“Yeah, give me one of those,” Eddie says, grabbing a beer from both of them.

“Hey Eddie I was wondering if I could—” Will stammered.

“Nope you know my rule, I don’t deal to under class-men especially ones whose brothers already buy from me.”

He stops Will before he can even get started. Will hangs his head and pushes around some dirt around with the toe of his shoe.

“Sorry man, I just can’t bring myself to do that. I don’t have many rules but what kind of man would I be if I didn’t have at least one?” Eddie reaches up to ruffle Will’s stick straight bowl cut a bit and gives him a toothy grin.

Jeff takes another long pull of his beer and is dragged by Dustin out into the clearing to have a stick fight.

“Loser has to do the other's homework for a week!” Dustin yells behind him to Jeff.

Gareth and his lady friends have made their way into the barn laughing and swaying along singing “Freebird” leaving Eddie and Will behind the van.

“‘scuse me Will, I gotta drain the main vein” Eddie says crushing the finished beer in his hand and tossing it behind him. Eddie walks to the front of the van setting the cold can from Dustin on the dented, paint faded hood.

“cause I’m as freeeeee as a birrrrrd nowwwww” Eddie sings to himself, unzipping his pants and baring his birthday suit to the blackness around him. Trying to write “Eddie” in cursive in the dirt below him, Eddie hears what could only mean one thing.

“FIIIGHT!” Is screamed from inside the barn, yanking up his pants careful to not zip up his manhood, Eddie runs inside to see what’s going on. Billy Hargrove and some other asshat are punching each other both piss drunk. He’s about to walk out of the barn, when something catches his eye, and that’s when he sees you. Leaned up against a post with blood dripping down your face. Pushing his way through the crowded, drunk, yelling assholes in the barn, he manages to get behind you yanking you up, yelling at everyone to move out of the way so he can get you out of the chaos, your body goes limp and Eddie starts carrying you bridal style to the van. He fishes in his pockets for his keys and tosses them to Will who is still standing beside the van. “Unlock it!” Eddie instructs.

“Oh shit! What happened?!” Will screams. Eddie sets you down in the back of the van holding your head in his hands. “She got knocked out in that fight, here help me, do you know her name?” He asks Will as he leans you up against one of the amps. He gently slaps your cheeks trying to wake you up.

“No, I have no idea who she is,” Will says frantically.

“Come on come on!” Eddie repeats, Your eyes start to flutter open and you look up at him. In that moment Eddie felt as if his entire life meant nothing until this very second. He had never seen anyone quite like you before. But that’s not what kept him staring.

—————————————————————————

Fireworks. You swore there were fireworks in those eyes staring deep into your soul. The guy looking back at you was someone you have never seen before, yet it felt like you have known him for years.

He had long curly brown hair, surprisingly plump lips, and those eyes… wow.

“A-are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?”

He takes his hands off of your face and holds up 3 ring adorned fingers. Without your eyes leaving him you manage to stutter out, “th-three”.

“Ah, she speaks” he coos with a toothy grin.

His veiny arms fall to his sides and you take in the rest of him. He has broad shoulders and a slender waist. Tattoos peek out from the collar of his shirt and his sleeves decorating his alabaster skin. He’s wearing a Black Sabbath shirt with black jeans and converse.

“Do you remember what happened sweetheart?” He asks, concern in his eyes.

“I uh.. I think I fell over and hit my head” you stumble over your words.

Your tongue feels like thick and heavy and your mouth is suddenly dry. His hands are on your chin turning it gently to the side to assess your head injury. His fingers feel like a lightning strike against your skin, it’s electric, burning, but oddly comforting.

“I don’t think you need stitches, but here, hold this so it will stop bleeding.” He hands you a wadded up shirt, lightly grabbing your hand and placing it at the site of your cut.

“Will, run to the house and find whatever you can to get this thing cleaned, bandaids, peroxide some water probably to clean her up.”

You didn’t even notice that there was a boy standing beside him. The younger but taller boy runs off towards the house. You aren’t sure if it’s because you hit your head that you didn’t see the other boy or simply because your eyes haven’t left the dark chocolate ones staring into yours since your eyes opened. Your stomach is doing flips and your heart is racing.

“What's your name sweetheart?” he grins at you.

“Y/n” you reply in barely a whisper, mouth still feeling dry.

“I’m uh, I’m Eddie” he stammers out a light shade of blush tickling his cheeks and ears.

Eddie? Hmmm… the name doesn’t ring a bell. But why do you feel like you’ve known him before?

“Are you from Bridgeport?” You blurt out the annoying feeling of knowing someone but can’t remember where taking over.

You couldn’t explain it but there is no way this is your first time meeting him. You feel a powerful unearth like connection to him. Something past the soul, deeper than any ocean, seeing him fills you with a comfort you never knew was missing from your life and suddenly you feel complete.

“No, I’ve lived in Hawkins all my life.” Eddie replies, chuckling lightly. “But it's odd I feel that way too, like I’ve met you before but I can’t understand where.”

Eddie doesn’t know much about science or the Earth’s gravitational pull but this definitely feels like some sort of scientific reasoning as to why he feels this way. He can’t take his eyes off of you. You are both new to him but also recognizable. He’s certain he has never seen you before, he would have surely talked to you if he had. But the loud thumping in his chest is telling him that he knows you. Maybe on a different planet, a different plane. A spiritual one. He doesn’t know and doesn’t care, all he knows is that you’re the one his soul has been searching for. The love he wants to give and reciprocate is right in front of him, in a twist of fate.

You shiver under his gaze realizing how crazy this situation is. But you have yet to look away from him. You can see yourself in his eyes. Like someone is holding a mirror up and you are him, he is you. How can that be? How can you feel this way towards someone you quite literally are just meeting for the first time?

“So you’re not from Hawkins?” Eddie asks, licking his lips and squeezing into the van beside you. He crosses his long legs into a crisscross pretzel situation and you turn facing him. He searches his pocket for a lighter and grabs one of the joints from the baggies on the floor of the van. He holds the joint to his lips, keeping eye contact with you the entire time. He flicks the lighter and you watch as the end of the joint turns crimson and he inhales deeply, holding it in for a few seconds before rocking on his side to lean out of the open van doors, throwing his head back and exhaling into the open midnight sky.

If sex was a physical person to would be him. You have never seen anyone like him in your entire existence. You forget he asked you a question so he asks again.

“Ohh, s-sorry, no I’m uh— hah —- I’m from Bridgeport.” you stutter out. Mesmerized by his good looks.

Eddie blushes again looking at you, he thought for sure a couple hits from the joint would make him relax enough to stop staring or fumbling his words.

“Okay I’m sorry,” he blurts out, “I want to figure this out because it’s bothering me…how— how does it feel like I’ve known you my entire life? Where the hell did you come from? I’ve never seen you before but I also feel like I was meant to meet you.” Eddie says all in one giant breath.

“Y-yeah, me too, I think I know what you’re saying” you sit up on your knees leaning closer into him. “I’m going to ask some questions so we can figure this out”

“Let's do it,” Eddie says, clapping his hands together and rubbing them like a homeless man over a barrel of fire.

“Are you a senior?”

“Yes, third times the charm”

“Me too, only this is my first time, where do you work?”

“Jimmy’s Garage since I was 13, you? Sweetheart, don’t tell me you’re secretly Robert under there and you’re gonna Scooby Doo unzip yourself and scare the shit outta me!”

“No! Oh my God” you say laughing, Eddie is also laughing, his dimples poking out as he smiles. “I work at the Bridgeport pool, kinda a ‘if you can’t beat ‘em join em’ situation I didn’t learn to swim until I was almost 13, I almost drowned once” you admit.

“No way! No fucking way! I also almost drowned but I was a little younger and didn’t learn to swim until I was 12.” Eddie’s face lights up as he looks at you and he leans in a little closer.

Going back and forth for a few minutes you find out that he is in a band and plays at the Hideout, a small dive bar in south Hawkins. You tell him all about your life in Bridgeport, along with being a lifeguard you sometimes babysit on weekends.

So far, outside of the weird coincidences of both being afraid of dogs, and both having birthmarks on your inner elbows. Nothing is adding up. You have never been to the Hideout, nor did you even know that Hawkins had a mechanic shop. Eddie had been to Bridgeport once with his dad as a kid, but that was more than ten years ago. Again that rush of electricity is pounding in your chest, this is too weird, the similarities, the feeling of comfortability with him. Your heart is soaring, you have never felt this way about anyone in your life. It’s like you’re on the same page of a book that only you two have copies of.

Everything about him is drawing you closer to him, he smells like cheap cologne and muted cigarettes. He pulls the hand that’s holding the shirt to your head away to see if it’s still bleeding. His touch is gentle but fierce. Digging around in the back of the van he finds a water bottle and dumps it on the clean side of the shirt.

“I’m not sure if Will is crawling to the house and back but Uhh, hold still I’m gonna attempt some doctor shit” Eddie says giving you a wicked smile.

He cleans the blood away from your face, down your neck, and in your hair. The water is cold and feels good, you can feel his breath in your neck as he wipes it clean.

Your stomach starts to flutter as your mind wanders watching his tongue peek out from his lips in concentration. He is comforting like a warm blanket right out of the dryer. Eddie places his hands on either side of you leaning in, “there, good as new pretty girl” he says with a wink. You blush from his compliment and turn your face away. Eddie grabs your chin forcing you to look at him.

“I don’t know what kind of magnetic pull the universe is doing right now princess, I’ve been fighting this since the moment I laid eyes on you,and —fuck I can’t fight it anymore.” Eddie whispers.

Eddie grabs your face with both hands, his hands warm and the cold stinging of his rings bite at your cheeks, leaving a static currant pulsing from him to you. You feel almost animalistic in the way your body is responding to him. Like you don’t even have to think of what to do your body is ready for his next move. Without missing a beat you wet your lips and lean into him. Your consciousness is screaming a name into your head. But it’s muffled and you can’t make it out. Feeling Eddie’s lips on yours the name finally rings clear.

Steve

———————————————————————————

Taglist: @inourtownofhawkins 🫡🫡 @gathered-moss 🫡🫡

[kvercetti]

writing my current situation to myself from 1 year ago.

here goes nothing..

hey kevin,

your summer break is about to end in a few days, and you'll be going into your sophomore year at mesa high. there's alot to say about that but let me tell you about freshman year for a sec. in detail.

your breakup with taylor was rough over the summer, but it's coming to an end soon. you're actually gonna start dating nicole in the first week of school, and you're gonna try your best for a while to truly fall in love with her, but that's never gonna happen. you're still hung over taylor even if you don't want to be so that's gonna be a problem with you and nicole. you're gonna stay with her for about 2 months; until the end or beginning of october. you guys break up. and you won't truly grasp the situation until way later.

at the start of the year, you're gonna think that your buddy aaron is really cool and you're going to try to get close to him. and it works. you guys are best friends and talk pretty much 24/7. that first month of school is as chill as it gets, so enjoy that. you're gonna have some fun times with the gang at superstition mall and things will be going pretty smoothly. that's until september, when things really start to change the course of your school year. aaron starts plotting on taylor, and at first you're gonna be pissed because she's your ex obviously, but because you're still hung over her you're gonna be in on it with aaron and you guys will become like a trio friend group. lots of texts, facetimes, and stuff of that nature. you develop hope that you and her could be together again because of how much you begin to talk to each other, but you're delusional.

you actually become a pretty bad person in a way. you break up with nicole because you feel like she's holding you back and that you have way better options (like taylor). you don't. actually, you don't even break up with her, she breaks up with you for good reason. she tells you after school that she thinks you guys are better off seperate. she says you've become immature and that aaron is a bad influence on you. you and aaron are best friends so you won't understand what she means and you'll think she's dumb. this is when things take a turn. you basically become like a replica of aaron. you obsess over being strong and going to the gym, your ego is huge, you add everyone and their momma on snapchat, and you start to treat women like objects. oh and you're horny as hell. this goes on for a few months. aaron starts dating taylor, and you become extremely jealous. they sit together during lunch (at the same table you and the guys sit at), they talk all the time during science, and basically they're eveything you wanted to be with her. these are some of the worst months of your life in all honesty. you hate everyone and everything and the only thing that matters to you is the gym. homecoming comes around, aaron and taylor are going together, and it was just a bad experience. oh and your kitchen burns down that night. during this time, you're kinda in a talking stage with macey, and you plot on her, but at the same time you don't put in much effort. she invites you to watch the fnaf movie, and you don't go. this is a cannon event. if i rememember correctly, you guys talk throughout october and november. at the end of november, you guys stop talking. oh and taylor breaks up with aaron at this time aswell.

december is an interesting time. you lock in with your classes a little bit, but to be honest you haven't cared about grades up until then and you continue not to for the rest of first semester. you start plotting on taylor again, and you kinda go through this weird wannabe model phase. nothing really crazy happens this month. you go to a party and the fit is tuff. oh, and you start talking a bit with someone you've had added on snapchat for a while. hailey. you guys talk here and there throughout december and you're basically leading her on during this time. christmas is lovely, and you get an amazing present. a trip to las vegas.

january 2nd. you adore the trip, as you're going through your brent faiyaz luxury phase, and it turns out to be a great experience. lots of photos and fun memories. you post a whole bunch on instagram. when you get back and the school year starts up again, you're still kinda plotting on taylor. but, hailey sends you a wake up call sort of paragraph that eventually leads you guys to be extremely close. you kinda lock in with her, even though you still fuck around and talk to a lot of women during this month. you also let your feelings get the best of you and make a really stupid decision (i won't say what). by the end of this month, you and hailey are talking a lot and she invites you to her school's sadies dance. you feel kinda obligated to go, as you believe that she deserves a good time with you after all the time she's been loyal to you. february comes around. you're lonely on valentine's day this year but it's okay, you have the chance to text and call hailey.

february 22nd comes around, the day of sadies. you actually had to go through hell and back just to get permission both from your parents and from your school. dad takes you, you arrive, and it's every so slightly awkward at first but that later goes away. you are LOCKED IN. you really believed that confident luxury aesthetic so much that you became it. you had aura. that night was lovely, and this is when you truly become close to her.

you and her are basically in a relationship, just not officially. it's intangible. you guys live an hour away and at least until you're older you can't be together. but you guys are so obsessed with each other that you just have faith that one day you will be together and continue to talk digitally until then. this doesn't happen, as far as i know. oh, i forgot to mention, the reason you start plotting on hailey is because of aaron. you know you've had her added but you don't care about her until you see aaron talking to her. you kinda want to compete with him and prove to yourself that you're better than him so you make an effort to mean more to hailey than aaron does. when you lock in with hailey, things became clear. you realize how bad of a person you were during first semester and you truly understand what nicole meant when she said that aaron was a bad influence. you get it now. he tried to use hailey in a way so now you guys have beef and you seperate yourself from him. the next couple months are all the same in a way. you start to love basketball again, which causes you to decide to move to mesa high for the upcoming school year. up until april, things are smooth. this changes, however, when hailey "breaks up" with you. you guys fall out and stop talking, and because you're gonna be hung up on her, you desperately try to be someone your not. fortunately, this version of you is short-lived. you eventually realize that's just the way things go, but that doesn't make it much better. your heart will be so broken and it will hurt so much that you cry to your mother about it during a late night, something you thought you'd never do.

eventually though, things will be alright. you wrap up freshman year at heritage with good grades. oh and you're now like best friends with levi and rudy. lovely people. summer break starts, you attend basketball camp at mesa high, and you still think about hailey every once in a while. you actually write her a text 2 months after not talking, you chat for a tiny bit, and for fun you send her an 8 ball game. she doesn't respond. but it's okay. part of you didn't want her to respond in the first place. things are okay this way. the rest of summer break is chill, no stress whatsoever. you talked to annie from heritage for a while but you don't have any intention to take things anywhere. you're okay not being in a relationship right now. your summer break is about to end, and school will start up again. things will be different soon, but for now..

everything is as it should be.

[bakubros-boo-thang]

Disrespected Devil

Wordcount: -4K

Lucifer x F!Reader

Summary: When you disrespect the demon king, Lucifer is forced to say goodbye to you.

Genre: Angst, smutt, slight fluff, but tbh just angst

A/N: So another first. Not only my first time writing for the Obey me fandom (I have a major Obey me brain rot), but also my first time writing angst and I felt depressed after finishing this (which I did a second ago). I love Diavolo, but I needed a reason for the goodbye to happen so even if his dad is the villain, he is the one to execute it... Hope you enjoy this story.

Warning: NSFW, mentioning of being paralyzed I guess.

‘’What’s with Luci today?’’ ‘’He looks more pissed of than usual…’’ ‘’He probably listened to classical music too long and forgot his homework.’’ ‘’Lucifer forgetting his homework will never happen, but if it did he would look like this.’’ Hearing all those whispers during dinner time is nothing new for you. Tonight is different though. You know why he’s mad and you know who’s the blame. But it’s not as if you don’t have a reason to be just as upset. As dinner slowly ends you know there is only a small gap to avoid a situation. ‘’Beel, how about we go bake something for later this evening?’’ You say, as you cling onto the huge redhead. You know that food is a trigger and you know that this is the way to hide from HIM. ‘’Alright, sounds delicious!’’ He doesn’t seem to notice the way you hold onto him for dear life and the same goes for the others. Clearly, they’ve gotten so used to you that it’s not even necessary to be by your side 24/7. It’s not as if they know tonight will be the last time they see you. It’s a small moment of weakness and you feel your heart clench by the thought of leaving those boys. It’s enough to make you lose your grip on Beel's arm. Enough to bend over, because it physically hurts to leave them behind and enough for Lucifer to finally notice you and come to your aid. ‘’Beel, I think she ate something wrong. No cake tonight, I will see her to her room.’’

And with that, he scoops you up and takes you upstairs. Of course, your room is not an option. It’s way too close to the other rooms. No place to yell. No, Lucifer’s room is soundproof. Made for his nights spent with loud classical music and also made for the occasional screaming match with one of his brothers. As he enters the room, he carefully puts you down on his bed. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Y/n?’’ He says as he lays his palm against your forehead. The feeling of sadness is gone, already replaced by nerves. You know what’s coming. You know you won’t hold back. Will this be your last fight with Lucifer? The question never makes it to the surface, because the moment you nod your head in ensurement, Lucifer opens his mouth. ‘’Good, because you have no idea how foolish you acted today.’’  As mentioned before this room reminds you of the occasional screaming matches he must’ve had with his brothers, but never with you. Pissing Lucifer off is easy. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even made him show his true form, but making him scream, that is something you never achieved. Still, it is worth the try. Tonight is your last chance. As you get up you take a look at his face. What faces you is the cold expression he usually shows when he’s done with someone’s bullshit. The expression you have already mirrored back to him. ‘’So you are going to ignore me?’’ I’m not going to answer him. ‘’Are you serious?’’ I am not going to say a word. ‘’Should I spell out what you did?’’ Don’t say a thing. ‘’You just signed your death certificate.’’ His voice cracks and even though it’s far from the scream you aimed for. It’s still the first sign of emotion from the man you care about so much. ‘’Diavolo didn’t seem upset by what I said?!’’ You can’t help but talk louder. especially after being silent for the past few minutes. ‘’ As if he is going to kill me? ME?! And ruin the bonds that are being formed with the humans?’’

You can feel the tears in your eyes, this fight might’ve been about you being disrespectful in some way, but for you it was different. All this time getting closer with all the brothers. All this time loving them. All this time being there for them. It made you realize that the only one who made it difficult was him. With every step getting closer to each other; there were always a few steps back. An obsession with keeping up appearance, an obsession over a promise he would keep no matter what, an obsession with being a stuck-up asshole; That was Lucifer in a nutshell for you. And still, you couldn’t help being drawn to him. As a moth drawn to a flame. Even when the flame could easily kill the moth. Just as easily Lucifer could kill you. And it’s not as if he hadn’t tried that before. ‘’Y/n, You disrespected his father. I had to bargain for you to even leave the castle. The first time I trusted you enough to take you with me alone. And this is how you behave? You know what he wanted to do to Belphegor…’’ You know this story is his weakness. The reason he ended up becoming the lapdog of his so-called best friend. Still, it only makes you more upset to hear him say it. Even when you can hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice; his eyes stay just as cold as usual. ‘’He is your best friend, isn’t he? He is my friend too, right? You always do this Lucifer! You always get mad over things and it never solves anything. You get mad at me for having fun. You get mad at me for trying to help. You get mad at me for trying to get closer to you. You don’t share things with me! Maybe Diavolo should’ve locked me up. Might as well get myself killed; it’s not as if you never tried to kill me…’’ Your voice is loud as you speak, but his silence is louder. He just stares at you and then it happens.

It’s not that you’re scared you’ve seen his true form before. It’s just as beautiful as him, but it’s also something that happens when he’s full of rage, just as that one time he tried to kill you. You can feel yourself freeze under his gaze. You can feel yourself moving away from him until you reach the headboard of his bed. Still, he moves closer. Until his lips are inches away from your ears. No screams, only whispers; what a way to say goodbye. ‘’DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!’’ You are so shocked by the volume of his voice, the bass it carries, that it takes some time to realize he has more to say. Your ear is beeping as he moves his lips away and locks his gaze onto you. ‘’DIAVOLO IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, Y/N, HIS DAD IS. YOU INSULTED THE KING OF DEVILDOM IN FRONT OF HIS SON AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES. DIAVOLO CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT.’’ Only now do you notice the way his hands are gripping your arms; The way his expression has changed from cold to almost desperate. ‘’That guy has only been able to do what his dad wanted. Our friendship is real, but if his father told him to kill me, he would do it without hesitation. Do you really think he would think twice about killing you? IF HE WOULD KILL ME -HIS BEST FRIEND- IN AN INSTANT?” You notice the tears in his eyes. Lucifer is screaming and crying, but this isn’t a win. Before your heart breaks again, his arms are around you and his face is hidden in your neck, but that doesn’t stop the words. ‘’I had to send you away. I had to be cold. They know I care about you, but not to this extent. I had to pretend it was for the sake of the bonds. After you left I had to beg on my knees for your survival. I had to beg. The avatar of pride begged someone on his knees. It was all Lillith over again…’’

There is nothing you can say to fix this. It might’ve slipped your mind while you were there. But you were surrounded by royalty. What might’ve seemed innocent for you, was clearly a lot for them and now you had to leave everyone you loved behind. You can feel the tears fall from your eyes. “I’m sorry Luci, I truly am.” It won’t help, but it’s the least you can say as you look up into his eyes. He is still in his true form, but even with his wings all spread out, he has never looked more vulnerable. There is a sad smile on his lips as he caresses your cheek. “I know you are, you fool.” He says with no trace of the rage he had before. “ I don't want to leave you all…I don't want to leave you!” You know that you sound like a small child that already knows he lost and that’s exactly what you feel like. “It’s too late for that now, Y/n. Diavolo gave me tonight to say my goodbyes.”  You try to distract yourself by focusing on his raven colored wings. “So that means I can’t say goodbye to the rest…”  The pain is back. Never being a fool with Mammon, never dressing up with Levi, doing make-up with Asmo, reading books with Satan, eating with Beel or sleeping with Belphie.  You can’t help but grab your chest again. “Are you okay?” Lucifer is supporting you within seconds as he asks the question. “No I’m not, but atleast I get to say goodbye to you.”  And as you look up he leans in and gives you a tiny peck on the lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” He lets out. You can’t help but smile as you pull him back towards you. “Let's make it a proper goodbye then.” You whisper as you pull him back to your lips.

It’s not like it’s your first kiss with Lucifer, but it’s the last and that’s what makes it so much more special. It’s the combination of mutual sadness and desperation, the hint of rage still brewing somewhere deep inside the both of you. He knows your body, the way it will arch when he pushes you all the way down onto the bed. The tiny gasps when he starts kissing your neck. The way you look away when he starts kissing all the way down your body. ‘’Please keep looking at me, dear. I want you to see how much I am going to miss you.’’ It’s enough to make your heart flutter, the way he starts to attack your core with his tongue right away. It’s obvious he is in a hurry, but even with all the sadness, it’s the best way there is. You can’t help your moans; You’re lucky his room is soundproof. He’s fast, maybe too fast, but with everything that’s going on, it’s the best you can get. And that’s what it is. The best, because within a few minutes you can feel yourself starting to reach that point. The knot in your stomach tightens. your hands end up in his hair and with one loud moan, you erupt around him.

‘’I know that Mammon claims he was your first… in multiple ways… and not to discredit my brother, but I intend to be your last in all of them.’’  He says as he looks at you while he licks his lips. Him saying those words, the way he just made you lose your mind. It feels good, after all the fighting, teasing, kisses and losses , you’re with the man you love. You don’t want to ruin the mood. You’re really trying, but the moment you hear yourself thinking about loving him, about leaving him, about leaving his brothers, you just break. The tears start to form in your eyes and as you try to wipe them away you feel something on your arms. Lucifer. His eyes are cold again as he moves up to face you. ‘’Don’t hide your tears. I am just as sad.’’ He takes a long look at you, lets out a sign, and lays next to you as he caresses your back. ‘’I don’t want to play the ‘’Who has it worse’’ game, truly, I don’t want to, but in all the years I’ve been in heaven and hell, you’re the first human to have ever make my blood boil. Both from nerves and anger nonetheless, but losing you. Losing the one that made my family whole, the one that makes me feel all these emotions, the one that I love, hurts.’’ You can’t help but raise your brow. when he notices your expression he lets out a laugh.

You feel his hand grab your chin and suddenly your lips are only inches apart. ‘’I know you love me, Y/n. I’ve always known. Falling for you, was what surprised me.’’ You can’t help, but roll your eyes at him. Trying to ignore the way his hand feels on your back. The way it slowly moves it’s way to your hips. ‘’You know I do love all your brothers quite a lot too…’’ You say with all the confidence you have left. ‘’I know you do, but still I am the one that has you laying here. Practically begging for more.’’ He let’s out a chuckle as he pulls you closer. ‘’Let’s end this conversation, there’s not enough time.’’ And with that he’s on top of you. You know there isn’t much time, but when he starts to unbotton his shirt it’s as if time slows down. Of course he notices your looks and can’t help to give you a sly smirk. ‘’Don’t worry your next.’’ Is all he says as he takes his shirt off and starts tugging on yours. After your shirt is taken off he takes a look at your body and all you see is adoration on his face. ‘’I want to see all of you.’’ It makes your body flutter. ‘’You’re absolutely breathtaking.’’ He whispers. All this praise makes you feel weak. You try to grab his face, but as you put your arms up they fall down. You feel weak. Not because of his words, but something else. You see Lucifers expression change, the adorations is switched to concern, then back to concentration and before you know it he scoops you in his arms and makes you straddle him.

He’s looking at you, but not really. Obviously talking to himself. ‘’He wanted to be sure…’’ And as he says it he’s back. Back to giving you a sad smile. ‘’What’s going on?’’ Is all you let out. Is all you can let out, as you feel your body weighing more and more. He notices you getting weaker, making sure your settled between him and the headboard of the bed, before he speaks again. ‘’I think it’s time… Barbatos must’ve cast a spell… something that gave us a time limit. The probably knew it would be hard saying my goodbyes to you. Now I’m forced to make haste, just to make sure you’re safe.’’ You can’t even respond. You can move, but barely and all you can do is watch as Lucifer grabs his shirt. As he moves away from you, you’re sure of it. No this is not the way we’re going to say our goodbyes. It needs to be on our terms. Of course those words never leave your lips, but with all the power you have you reach out to him and as he looks back you let out a: ‘’No...not like this.’’ And maybe it’s the few words you’ve spoken, or the way your arm is trembling from all the power it takes to hold on to him, but he crawls back to you. His face is right above yours and if it’s not your eyes making it obvious what you want, you’re mouth will do. ‘’Take me…’’ It’s not a lot of words, but with the face you’re making and the fact that you guys were just in the middle of it, it doesn’t take much guessing. You can see that he’s thinking about it, obviously worried for you, but you can see his eyes change the moment it clicks.

His wings ar still there and you wished you could touch them, feel them one last time, but you should be lucky by what you can still get.’’I used to be a rebel, so why not know.’’ He laughs quietly before he lays you flat on your back.  ‘’I’m going to take care of you my love, promise me to let me know when it’s too much or when you want to stop.’’ You nod your head and you know that your eyes tell him all he needs to know. How bad you want him, how even when you were able to just talk normally, you would want this goodbye to be said only in silence. His body is hovering over yours, his hand touching your neck, giving you goosebumps. ‘’Does this feel nice?’’ he whispers as his hands move towards your breasts. You can only let out a tiny gasp and that tells him enough. ‘’I wish we had more time…’’ Is all he says as his finger enters your core. The moan that escapes you is loader then the both of you would’ve expected. As he continues to stretch you out with one hand, his other starts to prep his cock. ‘’Wish I could… do that for you.’’ You manage to say. You can’t keep your eyes from him. The way he’s hovering over you. His finger inside of you and the way you can’t do anything except for your stares, moans and gasps. ‘’All I want is to feel you right now, my love.’’

And with that he places the tip right in front of your entrance. He makes sure your faces are only inches apart and as he slowly slides into you, his arms make there way to your sides. He’s holding you as he bottoms out in you and the only thing you can do is let out a long moan. He starts moving slowly, tender, putting all his love in every trust. He’s the only one speaking from time to time. ‘’I love you’s’’ and ‘’You feel so good’ s’’ are filling the room. All that praise, all the love in his eyes. The fact that he’s not only literally hitting all your spots, but also the spots in your mind, is what does it for you. You feel yourself unravel under him. You’re so close, that you start to tear up. Your eyes are filled with tears, mostly because of how good this feels, the fact that you’re making love on stolen time, but also because the time is probably running out soon. Lucifer never increases his speed. When he notices your tears he quickly wipes them away and as his hand caresses your swollen cheek he whispers:  Don’t cry, my love, let us enjoy these last moments.’’ And just as he is about to give you a kiss on the lips you whisper a soft ‘’Love you Lucifer.’’ You notice his eyes being red as well and it’s devastating, but it feels so good. the way he keeps a steady pace has you reaching your peak and these final ‘’I love you’s’’, the final kisses is all you need to feel yourself tightening around him. He’s close too, because the moment he feels you tighten around his cock he gives you one firmer stroke and that’s all he needs to cum inside of you. He falls next to you and quickly takes you in his arms. ‘’I wish we could stay like this forever. I would sell my soul… but I guess in some way my soul has already been sold.’’ And all you can do is give him a sad smile before your eyes close.

Lucifer knew that it was time. You were starting to feel cold, too cold. After putting on some clothes and making sure you were fully clothed, he grabbed the coin Barbatos had given him. ‘’Use this before the time runs out.’’ So he had warned him for the curse. He knew he couldn’t be mad at his friends. He couldn’t be mad at you, he could only blame himself. He had shown his weakness by loving you. But you loved his brothers, loved him, despite all he stood for, without any shame. And even with the way it felt like he was going to lose you forever, it still meant the world he had the honor of getting to know you. The moment the coin was thrown a portal started to form and as he grabbed your cold body the darkness swallowed the two of you. As he opened his eyes he saw nothing, but darkness. It took a few minutes to notice that he was in a room. It must’ve been yours, because he noticed a picture of you next to a bed. He was going to take the picture, he was a rebel after all. As he tucked you in, he was at a loss for words. So all he could do was give you one last kiss on the forehead. Not being able to stop the tears falling from his eyes. ‘’Goodbye, my love…’’ and as the darkness was about to swallow him, he couldn’t help but leave one more thing behind. A raven feather, just for good measure. Returning to the Devildom was going to be almost as hard as leaving you here. He was once again going to be the villain in yet another story… the story of how he lost you.

You wake up to sunlight. Too much of it. Why aren’t your curtains closed? Wait, you have to get out of bed, it’s your turn to cook for everyone. Everyone? You live by yourself… right? It feels like you had a weird dream, but you can’t remember it. All you feel is sadness. As if you’ve lost something or someone important. The pain hits you so hard that the moment you try to stand your legs give out and you lay on the ground as tears fill your eyes. It hurts, but you don’t know why. As your hands try to find some grip to get up, you feel something soft. A feather. A raven black feather. It’s weird, but it feels comforting. Before you can help yourself, your lips are already on it and even when you should be grossed out by it, you plan to cherish the little trinket...

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[lady-literature]

A Miraculous DC Crossover

ALL RIGHT!!

I’ve been sucked into this unholy sub-fandom and I have thoughts okay? lots of them. Almost none are coherent and I don’t care. I have no plotline to write a fic but by the gods do I need to get out all my ideas.

Behold:

the Salttm

Lila, obviously. But she’s a petty nuisance at best, and an annoyingly competent akuma to fight at worst. manipulative, but not really dangerous ya feel?

Alya. which like, home girl probably doesn’t deserve but like,,, the drama??

CHLOE REDEMPTION YOU COWARDS

She and Marinette become surprisingly good friends (because I love that for both of them and you can pry it from me cold, dead hands)

Nettie-bug and Queenie

They pick on Adrien together

Mari’s friends Protection Squad That Don’t Take No Shit

Adrien

Chloe

NINO BITCH HE DESERVES MORE LOVE TBH

Alix?? Probably

Luka obvi

Felix (PV)?? Or does Marinette have enough emotionally constipated boys in her life?

(Answer: no. no she does not.)

Nath? He be a good fox tbh. creative and sneaky boi

Kagami!!! I love her

They’re all heroes because I say so.

Felix (Sparrow) is an honorary member even though he doesn’t have a miraculous

He handles PR and other background things along with Chloe

Joined up a few years back when Parisians were getting a bit too critical of the heroes

No Hawkmoth b/c fuck that guy

He existed, just not anymore. Bitch got yeeted

There’s other villains in town now. After Hawkmoth’s defeat other metas/supervillains looked at Paris and was just like, ‘free real estate?”

So now the Miraculous Team are Paris’ Actual Full-Time Hero TeamTM… yay.

Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Abielle (or like, Wasp/Yellow Jacket idk Chloe changes her name because ~identity stuff~) are the core three team. like, the wonder woman/batman/superman trio of the MTeam.

Nath is called Reynard Ambre b/c I love him

The public knows he exists but he’s never seen in battle and no pictures exist.

but there are plenty of instances where Paris knows he out mucking around because those akuma battles always get really weird.

Marinette be the guardian?

Guardian in training

Along with all the other holders b/c jesus. Give the girl a break.

Yeah. I like that Idea. All current holders are training to be guardians as well, but Mari’s going to step up as Guardian Supreme when Fu steps down.

Hero fashion!!!

The Miraculous Team is all decked out in their own merch like 24/7

Rarely is it thier own hero persona tho

Not because of like,,,, secrecy or anything. Just because they’re all nerds who love each other

Marinette is the lead producer of Miraculous Merchandise. It’s like,,, her BrandTM It was completely unintentional too

(Adrien and Chloe financially support her work tho. She designs, makes a prototype, and has her two blondes get others to replicate it)

Half of Paris is wearing her without knowing it

(Go MDC! get it girl!)

She totally makes Gotham inspired outfits because what else would she do????

Don’t get her wrong, most of Gotham’s fashion sense royally pisses her off but it’s fun and hey, supporting her fellow heroes ya know?

She wears a Robin hoodie after being officially acquainted with both Damian and Robin (separately of course)

Damian chokes on something, probably his own tongue.

It confuses Nettie. But then she thinks maybe he’s a fan too? She offers to make one for him but he steadfastly refuses much to his brothers’ amusement.

Might make a robin themed dress?? If so, she crosses paths with Robin when she does, thoroughly embarrassing her and almost sending poor Dami into a crisis.

Rogues Gallery

She makes a lot of designs off the rouges gallery because like, supporting people trying to get better??? also they’re some of the few who’s aesthetic aint shit?

She can’t make all of them because she ran out of time, so the rest get posited up on her Instagram and MDC blog (that’s run by Tikki mostly. She’s a great secretary and gets bored in Mari’s purse all the time)

Everyone is very flattered

Harley, if she ever finds it, immediately commission all pieces and wears them around Gotham don’t @ me

Daminette obvi

Marinette meets him and is just like ‘wow, you’re horrible. I want five’

Marinette, in the group chat later: so I met Kagami and Felix’s love child today

Kagami and Felix, seconds apart: I would never stoop so low

immediately after: Hey what the fuck? Rude

Nino: Nettie, dearest, sunshine, light of our collective lives and reason I breathe, what the fuck

Adrien: Kagami, my love, how could you? the Betrayal

Chloe: ew

Luka: Send pics or it didn’t happen

Nath: [insert the ‘right in front of my salad?’ meme]

Whenever they cross paths as Robin and Mari, he’ll just like,,, appear from nowhere hanging upside down spiderman style. Mari finds it endearing but she also wants him to stop scaring the shit out of her

Nicknames, because I have an unhealthy obsession with them, alright?

Misc Mari names: Bug, Bugaboo, Buginette, Madame President/Colonel (when the Team’s being cheeky), Princess, Marigold, Nettie (by like, Nino and Alix)

Jason calls her Pixie-pop

The bird boys call her Nightingale/Mockingbird in like, honor of her being a kickass civillian

Mari refers to them as ‘the flock’ (and bird-brains after getting to know them better)

Damian calls her: Starling, Habibti, ya qamar(my moon), malaki (angel), ya wardati(my flower) (b/c like, angel’s cute an all but I just think Damian’s way more dramatic than that tbh. he’d put thought into his nicknames)

Mari calls Damian: mon soleil (my sunshine) (because symmetry and also Mari thinks she’d hilarious), Birdie, petit oiseau/oisillon

I like the idea of Jagged being a native Gothamite tbh

it’s just so fun honestly???

He’s probably the reason the MTeam are in Gotham in the first place? maybe? anyway, the class is there, right? right. 

Kagami, Luka and Felix are all holding the fort down in Paris. Ain't no akumas but sometimes they need backup so when certain heroes need to disappear, Nath has Trixx set up an illusion of whichever one so they can slip away with the horse miraculous.

Mari’s the one who has to leave the most because she’s still Paris’ damage control, so like,,,,, ya know.

Mari doesn’t get left behind, at least not on the first day b/c come on people! She has plenty of friends in class watching out for her and a semi-competent teacher who does care even if she’s non-confrontational to a fault.

She does eventually become separated from the group. Half because of Lila and half because she’s always fucking late and got distracted.

She actually runs into one of the civilian batfam in the first place because the class was allowed an hour or so to wander around the shopping district or whatever to explore/buy things/get food. They just needed to return to the meetup spot at a certain time but Mari is like ten minutes away when it’s five minutes to the meetup

So she’s just… fucking booking it and completely takes out this trained vigilante without trying to.

Mari, as she’s groaning on the ground, tangled around a boy: By Kwamii, I thought my luck was supposed to be good Tikki.

That or like, the subway doors close before she can get on them and the rest of the class ends up ahead of her leaving her to get caught up on some bullshit in the next train or smth.

Oh, like. Of course it’s her train that gets held hostage. Wonderful.

(Later, Mari will rant at Tikki about her luck. A common conversation between the two tbh.)

This could be where she officially meets the Batfam as the Batfam. Or, like. A couple of em, at least.

Marinette getting serial adopted by the whole goddamn batfamily because i will die for this trope tbh i dont even care

The Robins nickname her Nightingale before they realize she’s Ladybug

They still call her that after but it’s not with the intention of making it her hero name anymore

Her and Alfred are def bros you don’t understand

Actually, Gina and Alfred are old friends. Mari totally knows Alfie before the bat fam and calls him Poppy/Pépé

which floors the batfam because what? Since when does that happen???

Alfred and Mari never, like, actually met in person before, but video chats exist and Gina def talks about the two to each other so it’s like they may as well know each other.

I also like the idea of Alfred being a former holder, probably the peacock. I would adore that

Just,,,, so many fun hero shenanigans

Yeah sure. The batfam are super detectives and have a history of figuring out people’s identities in no time at all. Whatever. Where’s the drama in that though? The showmanship?

Fuck canon, the Miraculous all have glamours because magic bitch and it plays fucking hell on the Batfam and all their shit

Every single Batfam member is simultaneously pulling their hair out because they don’t know who these heroes are???? Why can they figure them out?? Confusion???????

Miraculous team is just…. Straight up laughing at them. The poor dears.

That one gag where it’s a well-known secret that Mari has connections to every Parisian hero and is basically their own personal catering service/comfort place.

Also, it’s the worst kept secret in Paris that Mari is Multimouse

None of the MTeam have confirmed that rumour but they also don’t deny it.

they actually started the rumour. If all of Paris thinks Mari’s the mouse, a temporary hero, no one’s going to think she’s Ladybug/or that she’s an easy target to go after

chloe actually came up with that one

Mari meeting all of Damian’s ‘associates’ (ie pets)

She adores all of them and they her.

Especially GOLIATH, why isn’t he talked about more honestly???? He’s GREAT

She meets Goliath as Ladybug and Robin is just… so done with him??? You are supposed to be a fearsome beast and a professional why are you rolling over and expoSING YOUR STOMACH??? Meanwhile, Ladybug is just: Awww! Who’s a good boy? Who’s the best boy? You are! Look at how handsome you are! Cute widdle baby-

Miraculous Team hanging on the roof of their hotel kinda chilling

Maybe having a debate about doing some free-running/parkour?

Also maybe about whether or not they should be heroes while in Gotham

MT being like, why can’t we go and stop an armed robbery? we can help!

“Gotham already has very active heroes-”

“Vigilantes!”

“-whatever. I don’t want us stepping on any toes. This isn’t our terf and Batman’s known for being strict about Metas rolling around here.”

“We aren’t Metas though.”

“I don’t think he’ll enjoy splitting that particular hair, Nino. Just- not unless lives are at stake, okay? Emergencies only.”

“Yes, Colonel Ladybug.”

This debate most def gets crashed by batfam and confusion ensues upon both sides

batfam didn’t hear anything, they’re just really confused about these french kids hanging out on a roof in Gotham

Just.... yes. all of that. I have like, more but those are not organized or even remotely coherent. here you go! I might write for this but I already have other fics rn so... it wouldn’t be for a while. and as I said, I have no plot.

take this though, i guess. *throws confetti*

[beelspillowpet]

If your requests are open - it says they are but I always like to double check- could you do the OM brothers with a F!Mc that starts dating a girl from RAD ? I want pretty demon lady ... please devs make a female option.... 😳😳😳😳😳 if the relationship doesn’t work out that’s fine! I’m just simping for women

Requests will most likely always be open because I can never get enough of reading about these ideas and stuff... IDK I’m obsessed lol.

More lesbian MC stuff.... feeding me lately, Mira. Because I’m impulsive af I am now casually inserting an OC how everyone will eventually get to know better~... DW. She’s mostly nice.

Introducing, The Manipulator! Or as you may call her, Liza!

She has a bit of history with the boys, but nothing intimate. Without further ado, let’s get into the HCs.

F!MC Dates a Demon Girl from RAD

Lucifer is the first one trying to put a stop to this. How the fuck- why the fuck- what the fuck? When did you even get in contact with another demon? You were meant to be monitored 24/7 while out, especially at RAD. Did Mammon or any of his other younger brothers leave you unattended for that long!?

Not only does he, and most of his brothers, not like Liza, but they’re also incredibly jealous. It’s not like they’re owed anything, but...

Really? Of all the demons in this realm you’d pick, it’d be her? Now sure, none of them are perfect... Maybe with exception to Asmo with how often he cries about it, but...

Okay so maybe the pickings aren’t that great. They’re all guys and... maybe you just want to spice things up with a girl? They can understand that. I mean they clearly all like you in some shape or form.

Satan tries to understand her. They both have issues to work through. Serious ones. Ones regarding their situation around birth. He’s meant to be a constantly angry person, but he doesn’t want to seem that way. Liza is seen as someone who only lies, cheats, and manipulates to get what she wants... but Satan can see that’s not all she is. He’s suspicious of her, but doesn’t question it too much.

Belphie, just like Lucifer, is not having it, though. Liza? Really? If he weren’t trying to be respectful of your choices, he’d immediately list every reason why you shouldn’t have picked her. She’s manipulative- worse than him- she’s a liar, and she’s really mean. There were rumors she was created to be the exact opposite of Asmo, even.

But alas, they all keep their mouths shut. Life is good for you here in the Devildom, and who are they to stampede on that?

Things with Liza are actually great too. She takes you out almost daily, and while she can’t spend the night in the HoL for... various reasons... she visits when she can. Usually baring a gift.

She brings food or little plushies most of the time. Eventually she starts upgrading to gifts that last longer in your room. She takes to even bringing over beautiful Galaxy Roses just so you have something to have from her.

Don’t think your clothes are safe either. Nuh-uh. She’s taking your sweatpants, hoodies, jackets- all of it. Sometimes she gives them back. Most of the time she doesn’t. Your stuff is now her stuff. And her stuff is still hers but... she’ll share. :)

Because the guys clearly aren’t a fan of her, you two spend the majority of your time out together. Liza promises Lucifer that she’ll take good care of you. He doesn’t believe it, and thinks she’s plotting something, but realistically, she’s in love. Truly in love. Father may have made her differently from Asmo, but he gave her the ability to love and treat what’s hers properly.

Hell, there was a time when some demon was threatening your life over something. Probably a stupid thing, like bumping into them while walking. Before either of you could even swing, she had the demon in a headlock, threatening to snap their neck if they didn’t get down on their knees and apologize to you. You’d never been so moved in your life.

Speaking of her strength; it is considerable. She catches Beel at the gym often- in fact, he’s caught you both at the gym a few times before. He thinks its... a bit awkward. He and Liza hada  few conversations, and she was nothing but considerate to him. But something always felt off. Like she was hiding something.

While respectful and willing to listen, Liza isn’t too keen on being... soft? She doesn’t mind vanilla, but I mean... You’re her little bunny. Are you gonna upgrade to Rope Bunny or what?

She is one of those types of people who are very straight forward. If you have a problem, she works to find a solution instead of outright comforting you right then and there. She often forgets there’s an emotional side to tend to, rather than a logical one. She does try to fit in the comforting afterwards, offering a hug and cradling you in her arms. She shushes you and kisses the top of your head, hoping that she’s doing it right.

As for having space...? Yeah, you can have it. Just ask. She doesn’t mind it. Honestly just tell her anything and she’d be willing tot ry and make an adjustment. Keyword is try.

She’s not really known love for thousands of years. True love anyways. It’s a work in progress, but if you tell her you don’t like one thing, she’ll try to do the exact opposite. If you tell her you need some time alone, she won’t throw a fit. Just huffs a little before leaving.

She’s a biiiig texter. Like... your phone will be blowing up. Morning texts every day without failure. They’re unique too, not a copy/paste. Way too many emojis.

Good🐣morning🌅 My MC💖🔥! I hope 🙏🏿 you had a great 👍🏿 sleep 😴. Here’s to a ✨ really great👌🏿day, 🏞️ my 💗 beautiful❤️incredible🌟love! I left you 🥺 a special bento 🍱 this morning! Please enjoy it! 💝💟

She’s honestly not perfect. She’s sometimes too clingy, and other times she’s a bit aggressive. She’ll ramble on about the guys, forgetting you live with them and know them so well. They’re like family to you, and you’re actively bad-talking some of them. Especially Lucifer. She’s pretty defensive about it too if you try to tell her to cut it out.

“MC... You have no idea how much suffering I’ve been through because of them. They’re cool people and all but... I can’t always been friendly about them, ya’know?”

She tries though. Kind of. The only one she can kind of have a conversation with is Satan. Maybe Beel ona  good day.

Oh and competitive... don’t play games with her, please. She’ll get pissed off and sabotage everyone. No one is safe from her when she plays CLUE or Scrabble. She’s a lil’ dorky.

Having a pact with her isn’t that much of a big deal, really? She sort of... offers it to you one day. Like “Hey, so when are we gonna make that pact?” And then cringes at herself because she could have done so much better.

Like she sort of sees pacts as an engagement. Is she moving too fast? That’s up to you. But please make a pact with her. She loves you, MC. She wants to protect and hold and love...

Aside from all this, when you do go back to the human world, she’s right there at the portal giving you a hug and kiss goodbye. She doesn’t shed a single tear. At least not in front of you. When you are gone though, she’s much more angry and irritated. She’s snappy with the people around her, and she’s hurting because she never realized how dependant on you she was.

She needed you to feel like she was normal. Like she was excepted. It’s not like you’re gone forever, but you won’t be back in.... who knows how long?

You’re allowed to summon her whenever, at least. But just... obviously not as often, because getting back home can be annoying. Also because Lucifer is usually there, scolding her about “heading out without letting someone know.” As if she has much of a say. She usually doesn’t, with him talking so much. The bastard.

All in all, with Liza she is a girl who has your back. A bit much at times, but who doesn’t like a bit of excitement in their lives? She wants you to be able to understand her struggles, but it’s not her place to even tell her own story anymore. She just wants to forget, move on, and be with you. So please. Please stay in the Devildom a bit longer, next time...?

[aj28gaming]

Nagito's dementia and misuse of information

CAN PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO USE FRONTOTEMPORAL DEMENTIA SYMPTOMS TO EXPLAIN HIM?

.

What I mean is, yes he has dementia or is at least diagnosed with it

And I believe that he probably does actually have dementia (not saying he could've lied tho but he could've still been misdiagnosed)

But that doesn't mean he has all of the symptoms

.

I don't think we can confirm if he does or doesn't have dementia because he might just not have all of the symptoms

But I do know that using the symptoms to explain his character isn't a good idea especially since it usually undermines who he actually is

.

So stop using his dementia as a way to explain EVERYTHING HE DOES AND IS

He doesn't even have all the symptoms and is close to having almost none of them

Using a mental illness to explain a character's entire character is a bad idea and makes it seem like it's who they are entirely

Yes Nagito is diagnosed with dementia however that isn't who he is entirely

He is a complicated character with a lot of layers

And his illnesses definitely don't make up ALL OF HIS LAYERS AND CHARACTER

.

Okay now, let me explain

(These are a combination of all of the symptoms of Frontotemporal dementia that I have gathered)

.

(I AM NOT TRYING TO PROVE HE DOESN'T HAVE DEMENTIA BECAUSE HE MIGHT STILL HAVE IT, I'M JUST TRYING TO POINT OUT WHY USING THE SYMPTOMS TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HE DOES IS A BAD THING)

.

Now onto the symptoms:

.

Behavior and/or dramatic personality changes, such as swearing, stealing, increased interest in sex, or a deterioration in personal hygiene habits

- No, and no not even when the killing game started. Yeah sure he laughs now, but that's no different from how he is normally since laughing for him is what he does when he gets surprised or stressed. He doesn't change much in the killing game, he still believes in hope and everyone else, still respects boundaries, still have crazy high intellect and empathy, still pushes people away

.

Socially inappropriate, impulsive, or repetitive behaviors

- not really, again the guy is a freaking gentleman even during the killing game. He respects boundaries, reprimands Teruteru for sexual assault during chapter 1, pushes people away and distances himself from others, isn't at all impulsive (usually quite the opposite really), and is usually planning and tries to remain calm and composed throughout the killing game (struggling tho cuz yeah killing game)

.

Impaired judgment

- here, I kinda disagree. I wouldn't say that Nagito is entirely in the right with everything he does, but I understand his views. The guy knows that no one is truly a bad person in the killing game because everyone was forced into it. He knows that even the blackened escapes and everyone dies, it isn't fully a bad thing because that means someone escapes and goes back home to their loved ones while the killing game ends

If a blackened succeeds, the despair would be of course everyone else dying and the blackened going through a lot of trauma, but the hope would be the end of the killing game and the blackened going home or to their loved ones or to their goal in life or whatever

If the blackened dies, the despair would obviously be the blackened dying and the killing game still continuing, while the hope would be everyone else still alive

Nagito isn't exactly wrong in wanting to help the blackened as well, of course, Nagito would want him himself to be the victim so another person gets a chance at escape and no one else would be the victim

Sadly for Nagito, that time never comes

Nagito doesn't want others to be killed, he wants to sacrifice himself instead as the victim instead of everyone else

.

Apathy

- .....big no. Nonononono. The dude is anything but apathetic.

"Apathy is a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something."

Seriously, being a dude who is constantly supportive of everyone and their hopes in life and how passionate this dude gets about hope and despair, and the fact that he is the most stressed 24/7 about something bad happening due to his luck, this guy is seriously anything but apathetic

.

Lack of empathy

- No. If the guy truly lack empathy he wouldn't need to use Hope desperately as a coping mechanism, wouldn't care about the ultimates and their hopes and despairs, wouldn't constantly be thinking about helping the ultimates and overcoming despair, wouldn't be the most stressed out of everyone, and definitely wouldn't be in love with Hajime or even act the way he did in chapter 1

.

Decreased self-awareness

- You don't actually understand why you act the way you do. A good indicator that you lack self-awareness deals with how well you understand your emotions, actions, and behavior. People who lack self-awareness often feel constantly off-kilter, anxious, or angry.

This is not Nagito at all. The guy understands his emotions and behaviors which is why he is able to do the things he does and is able to conduct plans based on how much he understands his own self and capabilities. The guy is actually the most self-aware out of everyone, he knows about how people don't understand him and constantly misunderstand him and his intentions, he is aware constantly of his inability sometimes to properly explain his goals to people.

The guy has a lot of self-awareness and isn't afraid to take responsibility for his actions. Actually, it's because of how self-aware he is of his own self and his destructive luck cycle that he constantly blames himself for anything bad that happens.

The guy is seriously self-aware as hell and it's scary sometimes

.

Loss of interest in normal daily activities

- Nope, he hasn't shown any sign of apathy towards anything and is usually pretty hyped about doing daily activities. He is paranoid though on the daily because he fears for what his luck cycle might do

.

Emotional withdrawal from others

- Emotional withdrawal involves bottling up your emotions. It involves cutting out the people who could help us, because we're so used to rejection that we've learned to anticipate it. Because we've learned to disconnect from others, we develop other unhealthy coping mechanisms

Emotional withdrawal is defined as pulling back emotionally or physically by bottling up your feelings or disconnecting from others. Emotional withdrawal can be far more complex at times. It is comparable to a breakup, in every way but physical.

Kind of? Yes, he pushes people away, but he is still willing to spend time with people, especially Hajime, when they really insist. He politely pushes people away, but he isn't opposed to hanging out with people either though it is sometimes rare

.

Loss of energy and motivation

- .... I already said it before, the guy is full of motivation and energy and passion that it is scary sometimes

.

Inability to use or understand language; this may include difficulty naming objects, expressing words, or understanding the meanings of words

-.....WHY IS THIS HERE? THE GUY IN THE JAPANESE DUB CONSTANTLY FLEXES HIS DAMN ENGLISH VOCABULARY DESPITE IT BEING A JAPANESE DUB

AND THE FUCKING ENGLISH WORDS HE USES ARE FANCY AND HIGH LEVEL AS FUCK THAT I FEEL SMART JUST READING THEM

.

Hesitation when speaking

- Definite no, the guy isn't afraid to voice his own opinions and never hesitates and can get very vocal about the things he is passionate about

.

Less frequent speech

- Again, definite hell no. I wouldn't be surprised if his voice lines are longer than the voice lines of everyone else combined

.

Distractibility

- Nope. The guy is focused on his goals constantly. No matter what he does, you can always be sure that it is for a certain goal. He pisses of Fuyuhiko? It was to get a reaction from him to confirm his suspicions about the true culprit. He lied about the rope? It was to see how Mikan would react and how the trial would go to confirm his suspicions about Mikan being the culprit?

The guy is focused like a damn soldier

.

Trouble planning and organizing

-.....do I seriously need to explain? This is Nagito we are talking about

.

Frequent mood changes

- Not really. He usually acts or reacts a certain way because something happened like someone died or something. He is actually pretty normal with how he acts and reacts and doesn't really change his mood rapidly that much

.

Agitation

- Yes and no? Sure the guy gets paranoid 24/7, but is still somewhat more chill than agitated to an extent. He is easy going and is just paranoid about what his luck would do, he is vigilant but not necessarily agitated

.

Increasing dependence

- No. The guy is independent to a fault and only relies on others when his plans call for it. He also usually does things of his own accord and rarely with a partner unless he really needs to or his goal is to help that person specifically, which knowing him is a usual thing

.

Unwillingness to talk

- Again, no. The guy talks a lot and while he pushes others away, he wouldn't turn down a conversation if the other person wanted one

.

Lack of inhibition or lack of social tact

- Again, no. The guy is a gentleman and respects boundaries and definitely gets stressed especially in the killing game. The guy is also paranoid 24/7 on a normal day due to his luck cycle

.

Obsessive or repetitive behavior, such as compulsively shaving or collecting items

- No? Sure he clings to hope but that is more of a coping mechanism. If he isn't in a stressful situation like a killing game he doesn't get that obsessive as much about hope since he doesn't need to desperately cling to it as a coping mechanism

.

Unusual verbal, physical or sexual behavior

- No? He isn't at all like this. It isn't unusual to panic or use a coping mechanism desperately when in a situation like a killing game, and he doesn't do anything unusual like this when it's a normal day. Sure the guy gets paranoid, but that's it

.

Weight gain due to dramatic overeating

- No? Actually, I don't really know how much weight he gains to be honest so idk

.

.

.

My main point here is, yes there is a chance Nagito does actually have dementia, but using the symptoms as a way to explain his character undermines who he actually is and can cause a lot of misunderstandings of his character

Especially since I remember being told that they only added in dementia to his character backstory a little late during his character development and creation

It isn't a good idea to use his symptoms because it usually gets his character wrong and sometimes makes them excuse a lot of the things he has done

The guy is self-aware, isn't socially inept, is a gentleman, and socially intelligent as hell

.

And again

Stop using his dementia as a way to explain EVERYTHING HE DOES AND IS

He doesn't even have all the symptoms and is close to having almost none of them

Using a mental illness to explain a character's entire character is a bad idea and makes it seem like it's who they are entirely

Yes Nagito is diagnosed with dementia however that isn't who he is entirely

He is a complicated character with a lot of layers

And his illnesses definitely don't make up ALL OF HIS LAYERS AND CHARACTER

.

.

.

[honeypirate]

Old Friends part three

parts 1 and two on my masterlist here

Bakugou Pro!Hero x Pro!hero female reader

I don’t know much about Bakugou’s new hero name, like reasoning behind the change, i don’t read the manga, but I am aware of the new name so I use it because this is set in the future, i don’t know if it is a spoiler anymore or not lol 

I probably should have reread the other parts just in case I forgot anything but oh well. Here’s this part that might have a lot of errors haha. 😘

Also sorry for using a Spotify link and then a YouTube link and not just both the same site but I don’t want to change it because I don’t know if many people will even click them XD

The links for the hero outfit go to Pinterest

You get to the office and Bakugou introduces you to their secretary at the front desk, “this is, Mina, she takes calls and files the paperwork for cases we take from the public, we check in with her when we get here and she gives us...” Mina takes out a small black box and places it on the desk while he talks “ear pieces that connects us all to each other and to her when we need her to give us information.” you all three take an ear piece and you smile at the small girl, she had an intimidating air about her and you liked that “it’s nice to meet you!” you say with a small bow and she bows back to you “you as well, Guardian” her use of your hero name didn't bother you, on the walk over Kiri had mentioned that Mina’s quirk allowed her control over who is and who isnt allowed to enter the building, once she knows your face she can allow you to always enter, so if any one wanted to come meet to request assistance they needed to book an appointment first to be confirmed, after she runs intense background checks. 

You head into the women’s locker room to change into your hero suit before the meeting, the familiar feeling of excitement and anxiety knotting its way into your stomach, the calm before the storm of a mission. You put in your headphones and hit play on your mission playlist, a playlist that you and Bakugou made together in high school specifically to get in the right head space before work. It’s since been added to but still has the original songs you both came up with, they always worked to get your head in the game. 

(this is the song that plays this link takes you to spotify)

Once you’re dressed in your usual hero attire,(( outfit  but gloves like this tho))

You stash your bag, phone, and street clothes in a locker that was provided, you place the ear piece in a pocket and exit the room quietly singing the song from your playlist that was now stuck in your head. “I drew stick figures of you and me, don't you agree? We would make-” “the best team, better than the 96 Bulls ever were” Bakugou cuts you off, saying the rest of the line you were singing, you turn to see him leaning against the wall outside the locker room, waiting for you, you smirk and tilt your head “you’re still listening to ‘Y/N and BK get pumped?” He chuckles at your question “I will keep listening to it for as long as it works” he reaches up and messes with your cowl, running his fingers across the edge, “same here” you feel nostalgic and your chest fills with butterflies as he looks you over “I like your new suit” he nods approvingly “I like your new name” you quip back and he laughs “thank you. I felt it fit better. Our meeting is in here” he says and points to the door across the hall. You nod once and follow him into the meeting room. 

 You're sat at a conference table with many heroes, most you recognize but there is one man that you don't, he seems familiar but you don’t pay too much attention. Bakugou was seated in front of you at the rectangular conference table and Kirishima was to his left explaining the situation. “Thank you all for showing up to aid us with this mission, I’ll get right into it, over the past few weeks students from UA have been going missing. Up until recently we had no idea who they were or why they were doing this. The last victim to be kidnapped was a young student named Juliette” you got the goosebumps, ‘it could be a coincidence’ you thought as you looked at Kirishima as he spoke  “the two previous victims were girls with the same name and all girls are 17. We still don't know why they are doing this but we now have a name.” a man comes up on a TV screen on the wall behind Kirishima and on the TV behind you, a man you knew well, your eyes are glued to the screen as pictures flash across the screen of him with his associates and him with the victims. You’re grateful for your cowl that hides your emotions that are on the surface. Your memories coming back to you in waves, meeting him on the bus one night when you were doing your internship in America, pretending to be interested in him and his goals. Making him fall in love with you just to lock him up. Stomach acid burned your throat as you watched the pictures change. 

Your thoughts are chased away as you feel someone nudge your leg with their foot, your eyes immediately flick to Bakugou who is staring right at you with his brows furrowed. He could always read you, you weren’t surprised that hasn't changed. You reach out with your foot and gently touch the inside of his ankle up to his knee, deciding to use him as a distraction for your brain. When you notice his cheeks subtly dust with pink you smirk and then turn your attention to Kirishima, now with more resolve. 

“The group of villains calls themselves The Red Ox. We know their usual hideouts but so far they've been all empty, we have sights on them 24/7 to see if they return. We need to gather whatever information we can and find them as soon as possible. We will be working directly with the police to get these girls back.” ”Red, can I speak?” your hand is a little raised,  he nods “go for it” you stand up and point to the TV “the guy in the middle, his name is Robin, the other two wearing masks are part of his quirk, when I knew him in California five years ago he went by the name Triple Threat. Last I knew we captured him and he was imprisoned in America. The kids,” your voice breaks and you clear your throat to cover your true feelings and feel a little comfort when Bakugou's shoe gently touches yours again, “the kids are a message. We caught him because I went undercover with the name Juliette Simmons and became his sidekick, ending up breaking his heart and apparently making him obsessed with me. He knows I went to school at UA, I don't know what he is going to do but I think he wants me.” 

 The hero you don't recognize speaks up “since Guardian here knows him and failed to stop him before then it's kind of her fault? Can’t she just use her powers to manipulate him and capture them anyway? I don’t see why we’re needed” the hero crosses his arms in his chair and sends a look of disgust your way. Your hands curl into fists against the table, you’re about to stand up for yourself but before you can Bakugou beats you to it, his fists clenched as little blasts go off against his palms. He looks more pissed than you've ever seen him, he looks downright feral,  “your attitude is not helping us find these girls any quicker, you're causing unnecessary tension and not to mention being a complete dick. You know her hero name? So that means you understand her power? Her quirk costs a price to use, Dumbass. If she does something substantial it takes the price from her. If you're not going to work with us as a team then you can leave. We don’t need you.” the unknown hero gets up and walks out in a huff and you sit down quietly, throwing a glance at Kiri who sighs “was that really--” “yes!” Bakugou cuts him off and then sits. “Continue, Guardian'' he then says calmly with a nod at you.  

“Robin was a student at the university in the same town where I had my internship. He was obsessed with human experiments to see if he could use his quirk to separate other people into threes like he does with himself. We should contact heroes in the US and ask for their files and see if they know how he got here instead of being in prison. Last I knew he was sentenced to life” Kirishima nods “Mina?” He says and the secretary who was sitting down at the end of the table opens her laptop “on it” she says and starts typing with inhumanly quick speed. You glance at Bakugou and he gives you a look that you can tell means he’ll talk to you later. 

After more research and phone calls to your old teachers you all split up into pairs to go look around places he might be, a few hospitals reported thefts of medical supplies and blood banks as well, there were also reports that civilians had seen him in a few shopping centers buying clothing. Kirishima gives everyone orders, he pairs you and Bakugou and gives you the task to go around the hospitals and see if you can find out anything more than the police had, you also wanted to check out a bar you think he would have liked if he was the same as when you knew him. “Send all your information to Mina, she will make files for everyone to have tomorrow at the next meeting. Let’s go”  the sound of chairs rolling back on the tile fills your ears, you glance at Bakugou and he gestures for you to wait, you nod and stay standing near the table waiting for the rest of the heroes to file out of the meeting room. Kirishima gives you a reassuring smile before being the last one to disappear.

“What’s up?” you keep your voice quieter since the room was now empty, “that’s the guy you were dating before?” His voice is calm, hiding how he really felt, which was embarrassed for bringing him up earlier, he didn’t know how you felt about it but he knew how hard going undercover was especially when feelings are involved. You give a simple nod and his brows furrow even deeper than they were. “I know how hard those missions can be. I’m.. uh.. We.. are always here to talk if you need someone” you can't help the warm fuzzy feeling that surrounds your heart. You place your arm on his bicep “Thank you, for being here for me after all these years and for standing up for me earlier. You’ve grown into an amazing hero and an even better man. Now what do you say we go and kick some ass?” 

You left him with tingles in his arm where you touched him and butterflies in his stomach thinking about what you've said to him. He's been trying desperately these last years to grow into someone you can be proud of, you and his parents are the most important people to him, all that matters is that you are the ones who are proud of him. You don’t know how much it meant to hear you tell him those things. your voice breaks the silence “We’re here” “where is here G? This isn’t the hospital.” you let out a dry humorless chuckle “no but this is just the kind of place he would be at. I wanted to check here first since it was on the way” he nods once and holds the door open for you. 

Pain. White hot, searing, pain. You grab your head and fall to your right knee, letting out a scream from the pain before taking a big inhale and holding your breath to feel where the pain was coming from. It started in your skull then flooding down your spine and into every one of your pain receptors. “Dyna-'' you manage to gasp out, turning your attention to the hero beside you who is doubled over in the same amount of extreme pain, panting, his fists are tight at his sides with little explosions happening in the palms of his hands. His face is scrunched trying to control himself from blasting his way out. He needed to protect everyone else in this bar, there were so many innocents. You try to use your quirk to stop the pain at the source in your body but the more you tried the more waves of pain you felt. Once you manipulated it to stop it would just start in a different part of your body and spread out.  

“Oh my poor Juliette.. Or should I say y/n? Oops pardon me,  Guardian!” He waves his hand dramatically in the air and rolls his eyes “didn't mean to blow your identity” his voice was far away sounding like you were underwater, your eyes searched the room to see if you could find where it was coming from. Robin was walking over to you from the bar, a beer in hand, flanked by three identical girls who look like the first victim.”Don’t. Touch. Her” Bakugou's voice was tense with pain as he tried to move in front of you, Robin just laughed and motioned to the girls, after that Bakugou must have passed out from the amount of pain he was in, he fell to his face and was motionless. “Bastard” your voice comes out in a forced whisper, it was so hard to talk, you're just glad Bakugou is still breathing. 

 “This was far sooner than I was expecting but i guess i underestimated you” he crouches in front of you and you scowl, from the pain and from the rage you felt from him hurting Bakugou “the pain you’re feeling is from my associate here, which i’m sure you’ve figured out already, although shes attacking your nervous system, i don’t doubt you’ll figure out how to get past the pain, making yourself indestructible inside and out, then you’ll be able to stop her with your quirk so i unfortunately have to be quick.” your mind is swimming, you felt queasy and clammy, you spit at him and he laughs before motioning to the triplet girls who hold up their hands, you thought you felt pain before that was nothing compared to now. A maniacal laugh fills your ears and you pry your head up to look at Robin again “my poor doll.” he strokes your face and you gag, you would have bit him if you could have moved more through the pain. You start at your feet and use your quirk to manipulate your cells to accept the pain, to grow and adapt with the pain, slowly regaining your control over yourself without moving a muscle so they wouldn’t suspect. out of the corner of your eye you see the other two of Robin’s bodies keeping the rest of the bars customers at bay. Come on, y/n think! What is the best course of action? 

“Again! Gaining movement quicker than i thought!” his laughter is crazier than you remember, your body tingles with bad feelings and tension underneath all the pain  “we still have many things to do before the final phase of my plan, so we will have to be going now, next time we meet it will be when I have planned it, I can guarantee you that. But first, what i need is this” he reaches out and cuts off a piece of your hair, you reach out and grab his wrist tight “why..do you need... that?” you spit out and he just laughs more and caresses your cheek “all in due time my doll. All in due time” he turns to the triplets who crank up your pain again, making you scream, dropping his wrist and falling to your elbows on the floor of the bar. You’re barely aware of his speaking again, and barely aware of his kick to your ribs before he walks out the bar laughing, the triplets and his other two bodies following him. 

You hear voices far away, your mind is cloudy, you feel like you’re sinking through mud. Memories of your childhood with Bakugou run through your head as you sink into the darkness 

“You fought Deku?” Your voice was soft, standing with him in the empty stairwell of the dorms. He doesn’t say anything, just nods once, his usual scowl on his face. “Katsuki” you whisper and see his hard exterior softens for a moment, his scowl turning into a look of grief, you softly take his hand that was in a fist by his side, and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck and running your fingers of your left hand through his soft hair. He breaks then, his hot tears hitting your neck and shoulder as he curls into you, his arms tight around your middle and you feel his sobs rack through his body. You softly hum the song stuck in your head, Lookers by The Menzingers, while rubbing his back with one hand and the other still in his hair. You loved him then. You love him now. 

Bakugou is holding your hand sitting beside you in the ambulance headed to the hospital, you’ve been out for a long time and he's starting to get worried, he came to right when Robin kicked you and he was filled with rage, he wished he wasn't still being affected by the triplets, he would have killed him right then if he could. Seeing you hurt like this brought back feelings he didn’t think he had anymore, he didn’t want to lose you. He didn’t want to see you in pain.

He assumed that when the pain left his body that they were too far away for the girls quirk to work anymore. He pulled you into his arms and checked your pulse, it was too faint to fill him with anything but worry, he presses the button on his ear piece “Mina we need an ambulance, the bar on 25th, Guardian is down” not even one second passes before shes talking back “they’ll be there in two minutes” he looks up at the bystanders “the police will be here in a few minutes! is everyone else okay?” the bar owner comes around and up to him “everyone is fine, how is she?” Bakugou's lips form a tight line “She’s alive. That’s all I know” 

Your senses slowly return to your body, the bed you’re in isn’t very comfortable, you feel a hand clutching yours and something wet on your fingers. Your eyes flutter open and your stomach flutters at the sight. You’re in a hospital room and Bakugou is sitting next to your bed, holding your hand in his with his forehead resting on the top, the wetness on your fingers were his tears. Your stomach fills with butterflies as you remember your dreams of him, you knew your new found feelings would complicate things but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“What happened?” your voice is soft, drained, his head snaps up and you see his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks. You smile and place your hand on his cheeks, brushing away his tears. “I was so worried” his voice cracks and you bring your other hand over to cup his face “I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble” you brush away the last of his tears and he brings your palm to his lips, kissing it softly. “Not too much, but more than I would have liked.” You nod and your voice is barely a whisper, your eyebrows drawn together “I wish I could have protected you from whatever she did” he shakes his head and takes your hands in both of his “it’s not your fault. We will get them next time. Now we know more about what we’re up against” you nod but your feelings of guilt still linger in your chest. 

Recovery Girl fixed you up and you did what you could to manipulate your cells back into shape. You and Bakugou give your statements to the police then you head back to the office to give your reports to Mina as well as report back to Kirishima. By the time you got back to the office it was after midnight, you didn’t expect this all to take so long. You stop outside the office and grab Bakugou's hand, the trip back was quiet, just listening to the sounds of the city not knowing what to say to each other yet. “Are you okay?” You squeeze his hand and he nods “I’m alright” you cup his cheek again “do you mind if I..” he chuckles “do whatever you want. I trust you” your cheeks flush and you nod, bringing your other hand up to his cheek. You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of your quirk, scanning through the cellular makeup of his body, you saw the pain receptors that were damaged in his body and fixed them, unblocking some of the receptors in his palms that would hinder his quirk, you see his cells like a constellation behind your eyes, brightening the dull spots and making sure each aura flowed smoothly. Little things like this didn’t take much, just a little of your energy with no other repercussions. When you open your eyes he’s looking right into yours, a smile on his lips “do you know when you do that, you get a little aura that looks sparkly, like stars. Like you’re my personal guardian angel” you chuckle “it only happens if I have personal feelings towards the person I’m helping. It’s also the reason behind my hero name” you smile, dropping your hands from his cheek and saying “let’s go” you walk into the office, Bakugou right behind you, already overthinking your somewhat of a confession. 

Kirishima hugged you the moment he saw you “I’m so glad you’re alright” he hugged Bakugou the same way and you smiled when Bakugou actually hugged him back. “I finished the paperwork for you guys from what the police had sent over to me. You guys should go home and order delivery and we will continue this conversation there. There is nothing we can do about any of this tonight so we should rest up.” You frown but agree. Heading into the locker room to change back into your street clothes before heading out. “Y/n” Bakugou breaks the silence between you “hmm?” You glance over at him and he looks worried “if you’re thinking that you’re going to be forced to use your quirk in a big way, please don’t. At least not yet. Give us a few days to form a strategy and plan. We can figure it out. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not like before.” you let out a sigh and reach out your hand to him, silently asking him to take it, he doesn’t hesitate to lace your fingers together and squeeze your hand. you think through the last time you used your quirk in an extreme way, your last year of school there was another villain attack on the school, half of the buildings were destroyed, several people were injured and could die, you were in a panic and seeing Bakugou hurt pushed you over the edge, you couldn’t help but fix it. you used your quirk and reversed all the destruction and pain that was caused. bringing the villains back to be captured and making sure everyone was fine, everyone but you. your quirk needed to be paid so it took it from you, almost every bone in your body was broken and your muscles were torn, the pressure form your quirk wrecked your body. that was the first time you saw Bakugou cry out in the open around others, when he found you struggling to breathe because of the blood in your lungs, laying in the middle of training ground beta, he felt just as broken. if it wasn’t for Recovery Girl being on campus you probably would have died. your body simply isn’t as powerful as your quirk is. 

 You squeeze his hand three times “I don’t want that to happen either, I want to save those girls and figure this out without having to use my quirk like that. but it’s so frustrating to know that with a snap of my fingers I could fix this all, especially with the hair he took from me, what the hell could he need that for?! but something this big, the repercussions would be extreme, it would break every bone in my body and that’s the least it would do. but it makes me feel guilty like I’m putting my life above theirs and I don’t feel that way. I’m not better than anyone.their lives are worth the same as mine. What if he can use my hair and DNA to replicate me? or what if he uses it to control me? I don’t want anything to happen because of me, maybe what would be best would be stopping him right now no matter what happens to me” he takes a deep breath, thinking about what you’ve said “I hear you, I understand what you’re saying. the quickest option is not always the best option. there are too many unknown repercussions if you used your quirk that we have to factor in and figure out. we’ll bring it to the table tomorrow and discuss options.” his voice softens, like it was full of an emotion you couldn't name, “I never want to see you like that again. if we can figure this out without you having to use your quirk to that extent, then i think we should try that first” you reach the apartment then and Bakugou unlocks the door and lets you go in first. he closes the door and turns toward you with his arms out, you chuckle softly before walking into his embrace. you turn your head and lay your cheek against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat comforting to you “I know you’re right. we should eat and sleep on this and then we can decide more with everyone tomorrow. thank you for reminding me i’m not alone” he rubs his hand in circles across your back, you feel so vulnerable in his arms right now, all the walls you thought you had from not seeing him in years have broken down, you pull back and look up at him, noticing all his new scars on his chin and neck from the fights hes had, his stubble on his cheeks and jaw, hes grown into such a handsome man. his hand cups your cheek “i’ll always be here for you” he whispers and his thumb brushes across your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine and making your cheeks blush “Katsuki” your voice is barely above a whisper, his cheeks blush when you say his name, your eyes flutter close as he leans down, his lips ghost over yours and your body floods with butterflies and tingles. Your hands tangle in his hair and he pulls you tighter against his chest, your lips press harder against his, when he nips at your bottom lip you can’t help but giggle and he smiles at the sound, take the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, making you moan quietly and melt against him.

The sound of a key in the lock scares you both and you both step away from each other at the same time, one second before Kirishima walks in the door. You chuckle and turn away from the door, walking into the kitchen to get some water, so that Kirishima wouldn’t see your red face or swollen lips. Kiri is either oblivious or really good at acting like it, he throws his stuff down and says “the only take out place open is pizza! I ordered some on the way home so let’s shower and then we can eat and talk more. I have some ideas about the hair.” “Y/n go take the first shower” Bakugou orders and you chuckle as you meet his eye, you wink at him “okay boss” you chuckle again and he rolls his eyes “what do I get for trying to be nice? Mocked” he grabs his bag and heads to his room.

You grab your sweats and your underwear and head into the bathroom to shower, you take this ten minutes of alone time to clear your head as you stand under the hot water as it eases your muscles. You exit the shower and wrap yourself in a towel, deciding to brush your teeth just in case you get another opportunity to kiss again, and then get dressed.

“Fuck” you say and sigh, looking at yourself in the mirror, you had bruises across your ribs but that wasn’t the reason you swore. You forgot a shirt so you were standing in your sweats and a naked top. You look at your dirtyclothes and frown, you didn’t really want to put back on your dirty shirt, you raise a hand and put it against the towel that was now wrapped around your head, you guess you could just walk to your room down the hall in a towel, *knock knock* “are you okay?” Bakugou’svoice made you smile, you cover your chest with an arm and open the door a little to look out at him, lucky you he had his pajamas in his hands. You reach out the crack in the door and grab his hand, pulling him into the bathroom with you. “Whoa what are you doing?” He voice sounds a little worried and his cheeks flush when he realizes you’re not wearing a shirt, he looks up at the ceiling and you take his shirt from his hands “you’re my hero Bakugou” you say and laugh as you turn around so your back is towards him “holy fuck” he whispers when he sees your bruises, he can’t help himself as he reaches out, his fingers brushing softly against your skin makes you gasp, the shirt was over your head now and your towel on the sink “sorry” his voice was soft “I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him from hurting you” your face blushes and you pull the shirt all the way down before you turn back to look at him.

You cup his cheek “hush” you smile softly before realizing he needs to shower “we can talk after you shower, I’ll leave” he grabs your wrist softly “you can stay. We can talk now. I mean if you’re not uncomfortable” he blushes at what could be implied. You know him better than that tho. “If you don’t mind.” You laugh and then sit up on the counter top next to the sink turning your head to look at your hands in your lap as he undressed.

Once he’s in the shower, the scent of his body soap fills the air, “remember that girl that liked you in high school?” He laughs “which one?” You scoff “lady killer over here.” You jest and then clear your throat “I mean the one during graduation” your voice was quieter when you asked, you thought that it was best to get this talk over with before you did any more kissing. The water shuts off and he grabs his towel, wrapping it around his waist before opening the shower curtain, you gasp at the sight of his bare chest and stomach, the way water was dripping down his shoulders, his hair stuck to his forehead and neck. You gulp and then sit up straighter and he closes the distance between you. “Come with me. I need something from my room if we’re going to finish this conversation.” He picks up his dirty clothing and his pajamas and you grab your clothes too, following him from the bathroom. You put your dirty clothes in your room before walking back to his, wringing your hands out the whole way. Nervous flittering in your belly. What could he possibly need in his room to be able to talk about that? You knock on the door softly and he opens it with a smile, now in sweats with the towel around his neck, his eyes looked anxious but excited. You raise your eyebrows as you enter, he clears his throat and closes the door, catching Kirishima giving him a thumbs up before it closes all the way. You let out a shocked laugh when he faces you again and you see what he’s holding “Is that my letter?”

[harryhooksgazebos267]

Mafia Life Ship

@arjh97 I hope you liked your ship! I didn’t reread it so keep that in mind lol

How did you get into it: Classic case of wrong place, wrong time 🤷‍♀️ You saw something you shouldn’t have and naturally it was join or die. Turns out the person who took you was apart of the SM empire, more specifically the Red Velvet part of SM. Her name was Irene and let me tell you, she is one scary lady. It was only a act though and as you got closer with and the rest of the girls, her hard shell soon broke a little.

Out of all the girls though, you were the closest to Joy. She was honestly your best friend and really helped you transition from living a normal life to a mafia life. You really appreciated everything she had done for you.

You also were really close to a different branch of SM called NCT 127. Especially the leader and his right hand man, Taeyong and Jaehyun. Whenever you got the chance, the two of you would hang out. Since Taeyong was the leader of 127 and always had important business stuff to do, Jaehyun and you hung out a lot together and became very close. Honestly, you had a huge crush on Jaehyun but nobody need to know that(oh who am I kidding? Everyone knew, you didn’t even have to say anything. Well, you did tell Taeyong and Joy but everyone else didn’t need to be told to figure out that you both liked each other)

So after a good bit of training, you finally had your first mission! So it was really simple, you all would go in to this club owned by BTS and try to catch the eye of one of the members, seduce, get some info, and leave. Simple. The only thing is, the six of you didn’t know who was going to be the one to catch the eye of a member, if any of you did. Anyway, you guys walked in and immediately spotted them sitting in the section closed off. It was raised a little higher than the rest of the club.

Honestly they didn’t even need to be physically higher than everyone else, they just radiated power. So you guys split off into three and three. Joy, Yeri, and you went to go sit at the bar which was kind of close to where BTS sat while Seulgi, Irene, and Wendy went to go dance(you guys switched what you were doing every once in awhile). Annnnyway, the night progressed and still nothing. Well, that was until you made eye contact with one of the members. If you remembered correctly from the files you had looked over before the mission, his name was Jeon Jungkook. He had a smirk on his face as he took a sip from his drink, staring at you as if you were a piece of meat. You tore your eyes off of him and looked over at Joy and Yeri.

“This mission may not have been a fail,” Joy yelled over the music as she caught the exchange between Jungkook and you.

“What?” Yeri asked, completely oblivious. 

Joy gave her a blank look as she hit the back of her head (like how a sibling would/a friend...not really hard).

“How did you miss that?”

So the night continue you Jungkook staring at you and you staring back. That was until you had to use the bathroom. You excused and left, feeling a burning gaze on you the entire way. After you did what you had to do, you exited the bathroom, only to knock into a hard chest.

“Oh I’m so sorry,” You apologized before looking up, locking eyes with the devil himself.

“That’s alright sweetheart,” he purred out, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it with his fingers. You stood frozen, not knowing what to do.

“If you really are sorry though, you could make it up to me,” he suggested, pulling you closer.

“Okay,” you whispered out, not really knowing what to do. Jungkook pulled you in for a heated kiss. After a few seconds, you pulled away breathless.

“Why don’t we go somewhere more private baby girl?” He asked but it wasn’t really a question. 

As he pulled you a way, you secretly put on this type of “lip gloss” that if someone where to kiss you, they would pass out in a few seconds(I hope this makes sense) So he pulled you into this one room and you started making out and then he was out like a light. After carefully pulling off the lip crap you sent text a Joy and began to snoop around for any important info. After about a minuet the rest of Red Velvet showed up and you all began to look around the room(you tied up Jungkook btw). So that was that and then you guys left, you found some good info woohoo! But you got out of these hella quick XD

So.....it’s been a couple of weeks since your first mission. Good news, you’ve gone on a few more and they were successful. Bad news, Jungkook is obsessed with you (:( Somehow, BTS knows where you’re going to be before you even knew. It was almost as if there was a rat in SM....SoOoO since you thought it was weird, you decided to talk to Jaehyun about everything. He didn’t really know what was going on with Jungkook but when you told him.....let me just say, home boi was mad. Legit was about to go find Jungkook and kill him. Of course, you didn’t let that happen. If his rage though he might have accidentally told you that he loved you and you might have accidentally told him you loved him too. Idk though, the world may never know 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Just joking, you both confessed blah blah sappy stuff blah blah kiss blah blah. So you and Jaehyun made it official 🤪🤙

Surprise, surprise Jungkook found out 🤡 And let me tell you, he was pissed. He shouldn’t have been,,,,,,but he was. In his mind you were his and no one else was allowed to have you. So that leads us to now. Currently a “war” was going on. It was BTS, TXT, Twice and GOT7(JYP mafia was on there side for some reason. Something about Namjoon being friends with Jackson who was apart of GOT7 or something) against NCT 127, NCT Dream, Red Velvet, and EXO. It was crazy. Lots of action. Honestly, it would have been a great movie.

(I think you know what NCT, EXO, and Red Velvet look like so let’s move on because that’s going to take up a lot of space)

Currently you were with Jaehyun trying to get through the craziness and get to safety but that didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon since Jungkook found the two of you.

“Hello sweetie,” he said with smirk.

You could feel Jaehyun start to shake next to you and honestly you were terrified. Not of jungkook or anything but because of what Jaehyun was going to do to him. You do NOT want to fuck with him and that’s exactly what Jungkook was doing.

“Baby you’re going to have to get to Baekhyun by yourself. Once you get to him, he’ll take you somewhere safe, okay?” He whispered to you. Once you nodded he pulled you in for a kiss(which was a little unnecessary but you know, he had to prove a point) and then you were off.

So.....remember how you said it seemed as if there was a rat in the group? Well, it turns out you were right! Baekhyun was the right 🙃 His cousin was Kim Taehyung and he was secretly working for bighit. So now you sat in some gross building with Baekhyun infront of you while some music softly played.

“I can’t believe you’re a rat,” you mumbled out.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone would have guessed it was me,” he stared with a small shrug, “It’s not like I did anything extreme anyway.”

He wasn’t wrong. He really didn’t do anything other than tell BTS where you would be 24 fucking 7 so that they could kidnapp you also so Jungkook has his play toy that he wasn’t even in love with, just obsessed with....big difference. Anyway, long story short SM demolished the other Mafias and Jungkook wasn’t as hard as he played off and cracked as soon as his life was threatened. Spilled the beans on Baekhyun and him taking you....that didn’t save him though 🤷‍♀️ So they found you really easily, Baekhyun wasn’t prepared and surrendered real quick. After that night everything went back to normal, well as normal as the mafia life can get. You and Jaehyun continued dating and you continued to go on missions with Red Velvet. Honestly, you were thriving 🤪🤙

[shijiujun]

History3 Ep 8 Summary - SHAO FEI ADMITS HE LIKES TANG YI

my obsession with tangfei is getting a little ridiculous - i’m writing this as the episode live streams AND OKAY IT JUST ENDED!!!!

*JUST A WARNING GUYS IT’S ONLY 20 MINUTES FOR TODAY’S EPISODE AND WHAT THE HELL THEY KEEP DOING THIS AND ENDING THE SCENE PREMATURELY and today’s was ridiculously short in feel especially - and the scenes just keep changing prematurely as well and the development is a bit too fast? but the good thing is the plot actually moved in terms of everyone’s relationships and also the bad guy’s plots - which we haven’t seen much of until now

i have no idea, let me know when you guys watch it and have any theories! i’ll explain some of mine later below!

also an update on the chinese audience again - they’ve totally adopted shao fei as their son it’s hilarious some of the golden comments translated are (they mean their comments lovingly despite the exclamation marks LOLOL):

“DON’T HURT MY SON!”

“LET GO OF MY SON”

“TANG YI YOU LITTLE SHIT” 

“I’M GOING TO TAKE MY SON AWAY FROM YOU!”

“tang yi hasn’t apologised, i won’t be taken in by his gentleness!”

SUMMARY FOR THIS WEEK:

HAHAHAHAHA omg wow this episode is packing a punch seriously it starts off with SHAO FEI’S MANY LUGGAGES AT TANG YI’S HOUSE declaring his intention to stay

tang yi’s reaction: he stares at shao fei as he ALWAYS DOES, as if he’s wondering how this human being ever came into existence you know? and then he says: “i’ll never allow having a policeman around me 24/7″

bodydumb, ah de: “yeah boss, what would everyone say if they realised that you had a policeman following you around?!”

at this point, shao fei as always seems to be on the losing end but WOW JACK IS HELPING SHAO FEI OUT WTF GOOD JOB JACK - basically he makes the case that if shao fei moved in, they could also keep an eye on him rather than let him keep turning up at inopportune times and disrupting their plans - THIS IS A VALID ARGUMENT

Shao Fei is totally pulling the friend card again to stay at Tang yi’s house this is amazing if i got my way every time I pulled the friend card life would be so much easier - in any case, he brings up the fact that he’s “half a friend” and he’s not a policeman in this case, and friends should help each other out?

Jack is SCHEMING HE IS SCHEMING: we haven’t seen much of his scheming so far, so i’m actually quite excited to see how his covert plans all fall into place - he show shao fei a REALLY REALLY REALLY NICE GUEST ROOM 

and shao fei just moves in and treats the place as his home like he has ZERO SHAME, YOU GO SHAO FEI! OWN IT! he thanks jack for helping him out earlier and jack is all: “it’s alright, i actually need your help.” 

in this case - HELP COULD MEAN 2 THINGS 1. with possibly bodydumb’s alleged betrayal OR 2. with zhao zi OR 3. BOTH!

shao fei calling zhao zi then and asking him to turn up at tang yi’s place to set up a security system or check the existing one - it could be a legit reason i.e. jack knows that zhao zi is good at technology and hacking and what not, and wants him to come and scope the place out, BUT ALSO so he can spend time with zhao zi

the rest of the police team just groans because they’ve got a lot of work to do and with shao fei already stationed with tang yi so they’re one man short, and now they want zhao zi to go over as well? you’ve got to admit that police chief perhaps wanted shao fei out of the picture and OUT OF TROUBLE AS WELL and best case scenario shao fei turns up with some evidence and progress and if not WELL, AT LEAST HE’S OUT OF TROUBLE FOR A SHORT PERIOD THANK GOD HE’S SOMEONE ELSE’S PROBLEM FOR NOW

back at tang yi’s house: hong ye vs. shao fei - who is going to win? OMG hong ye is pulling out ALL THE STOPS she’s so mean - i can understand why but WOW SHE IS SO MEAN AND SHE TOTALLY WON THE ROUND IN A SENSE - she totally provokes shao fei and hits all his buttons by mentioning li zhen jie and insisting that she was a dirty cop, and that shao fei is exactly like her: “it’s no wonder, policemen’s salary is low, they can’t help but be a little greedy” and other things, and we all know how much li zhen meant to shao fei, so he literally TAKES A SINGLE FUCKING STEP AND MOVES TO KIND OF POKE OR GRAB HER-

tang yi comes in at just the right time and grabs him and SHOVES HIM VIOLENTLY backwards and shao fei legit just crashes into the chair behind him: “don’t you dare touch her!”

CAN YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND WHY THE CHINESE AUDIENCE ARE LIKE ANGRY AT TANG YI HAHAHA

anw shao fei is spitting mad, he gets up and goes: “do you know what she said?!”

tang yi: “it doesn’t matter what she said. don’t you dare touch her!”

i expected shao fei to argue, but he’s totally hurt from her comments, and then now that tang yi is indiscriminately shielding her against him - so he just stalks off, the poor bb and just as he leaves, tang yi asks hong ye: “are you okay?”

hong ye: “i’m fine, i was just a bit frightened/startled by him”

cue shao fei’s indignant expression as he hears that and stops by the door, then makes his way outside 

LOOK AT BB SHAO FEI STALKING OFF LIKE AN ANGRY LITTLE DUCK

okay shao fei you need to stop being violent towards other people’s property - he is understandably angry and starts kicking the swing outside in the garden

jack is scheming guys he’s totally scheming - HAHAHAHA is he trying to push shao fei and tang yi together it’s fucking hilarious, but at the same time he’s trying to give him cryptic advice? i love it 

jack: “hong ye is known to have a sharp tongue and for being blunt”

shao fei: *POUTS*

jack considers, then goes: “unless... you’re not mad at hong ye, but at our boss”

in any case, jack dispenses some good advice - that if shao fei keeps acting based on his emotions, everything they’ve worked for will be for naught

KEYCHAIN MAKES IT APPEARANCE! tang yi sees the keychain that shao fei gave him while he’s packing his desk, is reminded of what he did to shao fei (only just?!!!! tang yi how could you) and then looks out of the window to see shao fei in the garden - wow shao fei how many times you going to pace the garden

shao fei talking to himself and psyching himself up AWAY FROM THE HURT HE FEELS FROM TANG YI NOT LISTENING TO HIM: “it’s only natural that he sides hong ye. they’re so close.” - and then he returns to the house just as tang yi comes down the stairs 

they stare at one another, and shao fei is still pissed so he walks AWAY from tang yi, then within like five steps he pivots on his heel and faces tang yi just as tang yi reaches shao fei

tang yi explaining himself to shao fei, I LOVE THIS RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

anw shao fei opens his mouth and he’s about to say smth but tang yi beats him to the punch and goes: “i know what hong ye said to you. i know what li zhen means to you, and i apologize to you on her behalf”

so shao fei was angry, but because tang yi totally apologised first, he can’t be TOO ANGRY, but he scoffs: “whatever. if the person who said it doesn’t feel sorry for it, then there’s no point for a bystander to apologise”

tang yi: “she is me, and i am her. together the both of us are going to complete what boss tang entrusted to us.”

shao fei: “and this means you can just not listen to me?!!!!”

seeing that shao fei bb is still angry, tang yi does the next best thing - HE GRABS SHAO FEI BY THE ARM AND DRAGS HIM TO THE ROOM HAHAHAHA WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SCENE AND IT IS GLORIOUS

SHAO FEI’S CONFUSED FACE AS HE LANDS ON THE BED?!!!! +100000

wow tang yi how hard did you push shao fei with the bruises and tang yi’s SUPER GENTLE TONE as he tells shao fei to “lie down properly” so he can get his back okay seriously TANG YI HOW HARD DID U SHOVE SHAO FEI BB

ahahahahaha shao fei is totally enjoying the treatment, and he’s TOTALLY okay until he remembers what jack told him, that shao fei actually cares more about tang yi’s reaction than hong ye’s harsh words - and that’s when those BIG WIDE EYES OF REALISATION APPEAR - HE IS ATTRACTED TO TANG YI HE FEELS IT

bad guys turn up - chen wen hao is colluding with another person and chen wen hao is looking for detailed information in xing tian meng - the other guy wants to ally themselves with chen wen hao

OMG OKAY MAJOR PLOT DEVELOPMENT AHEAD: so no ones knows tang guo dong and tang yi’s actual relationship, not even chen wen hao or any of the other gangsters that were previously under boss tang in the same gang

apparently tang guo dong just one day turned up with both hong ye and tang yi, but he only changed tang yi’s surname to his, and let hong ye keep her one surname

chen wen hao has no idea what tang yi is to tang guo dong, and basically asks the other plump dude to show some sincerity and get him some REAL info, particularly tang yi’s EVERYTHING, including his past - chen wen hao and the other bad guy seems fixated on this details, so I’M BETTING MY MONEY ON THIS BEING A HUGE PLOT REVEAL POINT

SO THEORY IS: remember those promotional stills that SHOWED tang yi crying in shao fei’s arms? i think there’s something going on with tang yi’s birth (for e.g. he could be boss tang’s real son with li zhen?!!! OR something similar, something that he didn’t know - but it’s a theory, FEEL FREE TO SHARE MORE THEORIES!!!)

FAVOURITE SCENE OF THE EPISODE: CAR SCENE - tang yi is being chauffeured to the company by ah de, and shao fei is sitting right there next to him and totally STARING AT HIM

TANG YI TOTALLY FEELS HIS GAZE AND LOOKS UP AND SHAO FEI LOOKS AWAY AFTER BEING CAUGHT?! SHAO FEI PLEASE

tang yi, exasperated but clearly quite fond of shao fei: “what are you doing?”

and wow shao fei that was a lousy excuse: “oh! just exploring the car features. wow, does this run on electricity? your car is totally luxury-grade” - and then proceeds to press every button near him!!!!! SHAO FEI GET A GRIP!!!

ah de from the front: “alright you country bumpkin, don’t open the roof window, it’s raining.”

shao fei: “who the fuck you calling a country bumpkin?!!!”

and then tang yi WHO IS JUST LOOKING AT SHAO FEI FIDGET AND MOVE AND RUN HIS MOUTH OFF SO, SO FONDLY, WITH SO MUCH PATIENCE, he asks: “really, what are you doing?”

shao fei, another lame answer that is INCONSISTENT WITH HIS PREVIOUS ANSWERS: “nothing. i’m just looking to see if you’ve got some drinks in here.”

TO WHICH, tang yi helpfully opens the compartment between their seats and comes up with idk is that sparkling water? he is about to pass it to shao fei, and then he-

OMGGGGGG TANG YI HE THEN SO HELPFULLY, SO DOTINGLY, OPENS THE BOTTLE FOR SHAO FEI, AND PASSES IT TO HIM

CUE SHAO FEI’S SATISFIED SMILE

they arrive at the company lobby and tang yi moves into the elevator first, then shao fei wants to follow but he can’t because AH DE AKA BODYDUMB IS A COCKBLOCKER - he refuses to let shao fei go in

AND OMGGG ANDY - ANDY with his lazy outfit but looking fine as hell, he turns up and obviously they arranged to meet, tang yi asks him to come in and he does, leaving bodydumb and shao fei fighting outside of the elevator - TANG YI WHERE DID ALL THE GENTLENESS GO?!!

and fucking FINALLY - we get a scene where shao fei properly kicks ass and HERE IT IS GUYS THE PIVOTAL POINT OF THIS 

bodydumb: “don’t think i don’t know what you’re doing! you’re using this as an excuse. i see your eyes when you look at the boss, it disgusts me!”

AND THEY EXCHANGED BLOWS

AND THEN SHAO FEI BABY OVERPOWERS BODYDUMB AND SAYS: “yes, so what if i like tang yi? it’s none of anyone’s business. if you have time to spread rumors about me, you might as well use the time to train your moves!”

YASSSSSS OMG SHAO FEI BB - BURN!

so shao fei bypasses bodydumb who’s lying in pain on the ground, into the lift, and he makes it upstairs (and somehow he knows which floor it’s on?)

anw tang yi and andy are having a meeting - THANK GOD FOR ANDY’S COMPETENCE - he has intel for tang yi, he knows that chen wen hao met someone the night before, and he has found out who attacked and kidnapped him previously

andy slides a piece of paper with maybe a person’s name on it over the table to tang yi, tang yi grabs it, but andy stops him and warns him: “you’re not going to be happy when you find out who it is.”

tang yi is all, okay, but imma do it anyway

he reads it, and THEORY: maybe it’s bodydumb’s name?! - anw he’s super angry and he flings the paper to the ground - we don’t get to see whose name it is, tang yi just keeps repeating that he didn’t think it was him

andy then is all: “awww, don’t be angry, relax” - and he’s so touchy with tang yi ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYS DIDN’T SLEEP TGT BEFORE and massages tang yi’s temples

tang yi is totally into it and he actually relaxes and closes his eyes

which brings me to the point of shao fei being outside the office, and he can see the vague figures of andy and tang yi standing so close to each other

AND THIS IS HILARIOUS - BODYDUMB AKA AH DE arrives, and before he can grab shao fei, shao fei grabs him, silences him and goes: “LET’S GET RID OF OUR COMMON ENEMY FIRST BEFORE SETTLING OUR SHIT” AHAHAHAHAHA BODYDUMB AND SHAO FEI ARE NOW ALLIES BECAUSE THEY ARE JELLY OF ANDY? 

and then they just end it there we don’t get the scene where shao fei bursts in and interrupts whatever they were doing

some thoughts:

when is the exact OMG moment when shao fei realises he likes tang yi? i think he realises he’s attracted to him during the massage scene, but how did that go to declaring that he likes tang yi to bodydumb?

tang yi why you keep blowing hot and cold?!

“common enemy” i.e. andy - does shao fei know that bodydumb likes tang yi? this still hasn’t been really confirmed, and how did shao fei know?!

I LOVE GENTLE TANG YI TO SHAO FEI - BOTTLE OPENING SCENE IS A TREASURE

tang yi’s background - any theories on this?

[ontherockswithsalt]

A Made Man

/1/ /2/ /3/ /4/ /5/ /6/ /7/ /8/ /9/ /10/ /11/ /12/ /13/ /14/ /15/ /16/ /17/ /18/ /19/ /20/ /21/ /22/ /23/ /24/ /25/ /26/

A/N: It’s soft, it’s Christmas time. It’s Jamie and Noble opening presents on the phone together because why not? Thank you to @cards-onthetable whose idea it was for Jamie to include a gift for Bianca. I hope this eases your mouth pain even for a moment.

Chapter 27.

“I’m gonna be pissed if it’s broken. Is it broken?” I wonder, propping the phone between my ear and shoulder as I drag a retractable blade across the top of the box that I had come home to the day before.

“I don’t know,” Noble chuckles. “I can only see something sitting propped up against my door. I just pulled in the driveway.  Don’t open yours yet!”

“Alright.” My shoulders lift and I leave the box there on my coffee table without peering inside. “I’m excited, okay?”

“Were you the kind of kid who tore through like, five presents on Christmas morning before anyone realized you weren’t waiting for everyone else to take turns?”

I grin, pacing over to the living room window. “No. Are you kidding? That was Danny.”

“Oh, right right,” Noble muses. “Then you probably took the longest because you’d open one thing and be immediately obsessed with it, reading the instructions or whatever and couldn’t bring yourself to move on to the next one.”

“What is this analysis of my personality? I thought you were just using me for my body.”

“For the most part I am. But then I went and fell in love with you.”

“Rookie mistake,” I mutter. “And yes, that’s exactly how I was.”

“Alright, there’s a box,” he lists. “And then another like, big rectangle thing here from you.”

“Okay, I just hope the rectangle thing’s not broken.”

“We’ll find out.” He manages and I can hear him move to get everything inside the house.

A few weeks ago, Noble and I had briefly considered not exchanging gifts for Christmas. The oh no, I don’t need anything excuses didn’t last long, though once the season really hit and we both just sort of gave in to the temptation. Usually gift buying stresses me out. It’s too much pressure. My rational conscious always overanalyzes whether something is practical or necessary, or something they already have, or something they wouldn’t use, and it takes the fun out of the whole process. But this year, I couldn’t help but get excited. Figuring out something Noble would like was fun for me and it had been a long time since I’d put that much sentimental effort into getting a gift for someone.

Once I found out he was going on vacation over the holiday, I scrambled to get everything shipped in time for him to open it before he left.

“So am I opening yours, or are you opening mine first?” He wonders, then decides, “Open one of mine.”

Amused, I make my way back over to the coffee table and assess the contents of the large box he sent, pulling out the brown packing paper. “Okay, I’m opening the big one.” Inside are three wrapped gifts and a card. “And I'm putting you on speaker.”

Sitting on the couch, I pull the wide, shallow gift box onto my lap and begin to tear off its pine green paper. I take off the lid, move aside the tissue paper and find a black canvas, almost tactical looking backpack. “Oh sweet.”

“Is that the backpack?”

“Yeah man.”

“I thought it'd be good for all that weekend traveling.”

“To visit my side-piece poolboy? It's perfect.”

“Hey, it's lawnboy not poolboy. There's a difference,” he corrects. “And I'm making a mental note because side-piece lawnboy is definitely some role play I'm down for.”

“Yeah, same here,” I muse while I inspect the zippered pockets. “Hey believe it or not, the backpack I've been using I've had since college so--”

“Oh I'm in total shock, sweetheart,” he deadpans.

I have to laugh. “But this one is way better. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

“Open one from me,” I instruct. “And there’s one in there for Bianca. Just… if you want to give that to her when you see her.”

He utters this rumbling “Aww--”

“Yeah, yeah,” I sigh.

“That’ll mean a lot. That’s sweet.”

“It’s like an etched, stemless wine glass and I put a bunch of red Starburst in it, so--”

“God,” he exhales, almost miffed. “You little shit. You’re gonna make me have feelings for you.”

I smirk. “Hopefully that one didn’t break either.”

“And hey, she drinks wine out of a coffee mug, so that’ll be a definite upgrade. She'll love it. I’ll make sure she gets it before we head to the airport tomorrow.”

“Alright, good. Now open one of yours. The big rectangle.”

“You mean the broken one?”

I panic. “It's broken?”

With a soft chuckle he assures me, “I'm kidding. No I don't think so.” Then I hear him go to work pulling off the paper until it's quiet for a second.

“Oh hey now--” He starts. “It's your neighborhood. Did you take this picture?”

“Yes.”

“And you had it framed. Dude, this is dope,” he raves in almost this sing-song. “I love it so much.”

“Good.” I sit back on my couch and think about the photograph, blown up to sixteen-by-twenty, that I thought would make a cool print for his house. “A little Brooklyn for you down in Miami.”

“Well when I really need some Brooklyn down in Miami, I'll get your ass a plane ticket.”

“Since you can't hang my ass up in your living room, that might be a better alternative.”

“Look at you,” he muses. “With the photography skills. I love that street, by the way. Damn, that's some homesick shit I wasn't ready for.”

The historic district where I live, with all it's charming pre-war rowhouses and quiet streets, looks good captured in black and white. Down my block, it's only a short walk to the promenade that stretches along the East River where we had roamed around a little one morning the last time he was here.

“Your turn,” Noble speaks up. “Open another one.”

“There's a card here--”

“No-no-no, open that later. Don't open that on the phone with me. It's gross.”

With a pleased little smile, looking forward to reading that on my own, I set the sealed envelope aside. ���Mmkay. I'll do this medium-sized one.”

“Don't give me a hard time about it,” he warns. “I think I have a firm grasp on what kind of nerd you are but--”

“Hey,” I groan in protest as I tear open the package. “You got a complaint?”

“No, you didn't hear me complain--”

“Oh good because I was about to tell you where you can put it.”

“You can always tell me where to put it, Jamie.”

Tilting my head back, I dig my teeth into my bottom lip and take a moment to appreciate him. “Are you really about to leave the country for five days? Because I… miss you in such a dumbass way.”

His laugh through the phone makes me smile as I finish pulling off the paper. “I miss you regardless.”

“Yeah but you'll be off swimming with dolphins and snorkeling or whatever and too busy to remember me suffering in this city at Christmas time.”

He scoffs. “Oh please. Don't you know me at all? I'll be day drinking and taking naps on the beach.”

“Strangely, that's a hotter visual for me,” I reason. “Okay I'm opening this. Let's see what kind of nerd you think I am.” Tearing open the package, I inspect the rattling box, my eyebrows lifting eagerly. “A wooden fractal puzzle? Hell yes, bro.”

On the other end of the line, he cracks up. “That thing looks like torture, so if you want nothing to do with it, I understand--”

“No way, man. I'm gonna do it right now.” After I pull off the plastic wrapping, I examine the intricately cut geometric looking design on the lid.

“If nothing else, it'll look cool on your coffee table.”

“I really do like it though,” I decide.

“Well good.”

“Now do the bigger one from me.”

“Alright,” he agrees.

“You’re gonna give me shit about this one,” I preface while I hear him tear the paper. “But I know you don’t have one and I’m kind of upset about it.”

After a moment, he laughs. “You got me a flashlight.” He states it with amusement more than curiosity.

“Because you’ve said before you don’t even have one. Which I can’t believe considering you live in a damn hurricane capital--”

“And you sent batteries with it!” Then he groans, “Ugh, you’re cute.”

“I’m prepared.”

“This is a pretty badass Maglite, though.”

“There’s more,” I tell him.

“Oh my god,” he mutters as I hear him shift around the paper inside the box to find it. “Is this a fucking Swiss Army knife?” And then he cackles one of his loud laughs that triggers one of mine.

“Hey, you needed one of those too!”

“Oh, who’s gonna fuck with me now?” He teases.

“Nobody when you’re carrying that piece.”

“I’ve never had one of these,” he says and I can tell he’s inspecting it. “Shit, this thing’s kind of intense. Out on the town and need a screwdriver? Check. Carving wood on the go? Check.”

“You can gut a fish with it,” I suggest.

“With a blade like that? Good lord,” he laughs.

“I'm just saying you could. If you had to.”

“You fucking savage,” he murmurs and the low note in that accusation makes my lips twitch. “I’ll leave that to you when we up and move to the frontier.”

I glance down with a satisfied smile. “Mmkay. Well we've got a flashlight and a puzzle. So let's go.”

“The last present for you is very important, then,” he notes. “It'll come in handy when we’re in the wilderness.”

“Oh jeez.” I take out the remaining package from him. Pulling off the paper reveals a black and red metal canister with little silver hearts all over it. “Sexy Truth or Dare?” I question him and just hearing me saying it elicits another heavy chuckle from him.

“Hell yeah.”

I shake my head with a laugh as I give it a glance and screw off the top. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You wanna play?”

I consider it. “Next time you’re here, maybe.” My answer is murmured absently since I’ve already started to pull out the flat sticks printed with the various prompts. “If you had to choose between only oral sex or only penetrative sex for the rest of your life,” I recite, “which one would you pick?”

Noble can only answer with a disapproving groan.

I continue, pulling out another one. “What is the largest age gap you’ve had between you and someone you’ve had sex with?”

His next groan is even louder. “Oh shit--”

“Ha!” I cough. “Do you know the last name of everyone you’ve had sex with?”

“Damn!” I can hear the grimace in his voice and it cracks me up. “I feel attacked.”

I let out a weary moan and rub my eyes. “Oh man, I’m gonna get answers to so many things I never wanted to know.”

“Wait, read a dare. I’m way better at those.”

Clearing my throat, I flip the sticks over that I had pulled out. “Do your best to make me orgasm in the next five minutes--”

“Easy. I could do that from here.”

“Mm-hm,” I hum, before I read the next. “Fuck me in a room where we’ve never had sex before.”

“Oh-ho! Now we’re talking.”

“That’s hard. I don’t have many rooms.”

“Next time you’re here, we’ll go do it at Bianca’s place while she’s at work.”

“Nice.” The I pull out another one. “Wait a minute. Pretend you’re a cop and arrest me for the crime of being too sexy--”

He shouts another laugh. “Yes, please. I’ve always wanted to.”

“We’ll see if I let you.”

Gradually, his amusement tapers off and he lets out a heavy sigh. “Those are hilarious.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty good,” I agree.

“If I come up there and we get snowed in, we can have a game night.”

“I like that.” Clearing away some of the wrapping from my couch, I move to consolidate all the unwrapped gifts on my table.

“Well thank you,” he starts. “For my awesome presents. I love everything.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for mine,” I tell him, getting up to take some of the trash to my kitchen, bringing the phone with me. “You all ready to leave tomorrow?”

“Pretty much. It’s like an hour flight. And then it should be a pretty chill few days.”

“Take lots of pictures.”

“Of me in a lounge chair? Alright I will.”

“I wouldn’t turn those down.” I smile. “But it is Christmas, so I hope you’ll be more generous than that when it comes to the pictures you send me.”

[serenagaywaterford]

so there's this thing that often happens in shows, where the fandom understands characters better than the writers. it happens all the fucking time. i have been pissed off by it, time and time again. but seeing it happen in tht makes me so angry, and i'm so desperate for them to give serena a proper arc, and none of that tuello bullshit. it doesn't help that i'm a desperate june/serena shipper. how do i cope?

you’re asking the wrong person, anon, lmao. i am NOT coping very well haha. i’m so angry and bitter and sad and disappointed.

“i'm so desperate for them to give serena a proper arc“

this is literally all i wanted all season. i had like 2 criteria:

1. make it move her forward and not just flipflop over and over like s2, aka, don’t make her do something incredibly rapey and shitty and abusive, but i do not require a “redemption arc”. just an arc. movement. forward. somehow.

2. make it make sense for the character, whatever happens.

i got neither of those things. she was just obsessed with nichole 24-7 and did shittyass things cos of that and none of it made sense for the way they finished off s2, or even how they started s3. i feel like they took her character and stomped on her with a giant iron. like in the cartoons when they make someone into a pancake. they took a great character (not great person) and totally took everything interesting away from her, removed all her layers and internal conflicts, ALL FER BABBY!!!!!!!! OMFG BABBYUYYY!!! NEED BABBY NOW!!!!!! WOMAN JUST LOVE BABBY!@!!! woman care about life??? NOPE JUST BABBY!!!!!!!! 

(it’s also why i will continue to throw tantrum after tantrum abotu s3 and serena’s character cos like how.......how wrong they did her.)

i have basically hated everything from the end of 3x04 onwards. 3x04 was the last time i feel like i actually enjoyed the episode. (i mean i got excited about the Break Up TM and The Stabby Stab scenes cos we finally got A BIT of depth, but i mean, not the episodes on the whole which were on the whole, pretty boring and terrible and made me dislike everyone.)

sigh.

i guess i had a 3rd criterium which i didn’t realise i actually needed until it happened: don’t make it sexist. but oops. they done fucked up there real bad. (i mean this show has always had a problem with race so i knew that wasn’t gonna go well regardless. but the sexist tropes and cliches were new. and overwhelmed the entire fucking season.)

i dunno, anon. i am bummed af. my only form of coping is fanfic. reading and writing it. lol.

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[scared-aquarius]

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration...... it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.

(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * ... lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

[mozillavulpix]

Evangelion Thoughts, End of Evangelion

The End, again.

Episode 25′

Oh. It's the 'everyone dies' ending. Damn it.

Also I think I'll need to rewatch Episode 25 again

Anyway, to try and summarise what I think was going on:

Since the Lance of Longinus was what you needed to activate the Human Instrumentality Project, Seele's backup plan is to use the Eva series to do the same thing. And apparently only the old Eva series works, so they invade the Nerv facility and kill a whole bunch of people. They don't get the Magi because Ritsuko steps in.

I sort of don't remember where Asuka was at the end of Episode 24, but apparently she's unconscious in hospital at the start. And that whole meme thing with Shinji is actually at the very start.

Anyway, Asuka's unconscious body basically gets chucked in Unit 02 (which I think explains a scene in 25 when she's randomly in the Eva and doesn't know how?) and as the Seele troops are trying to destroy it, she gets saved by...her mom? It's almost like a counterpart to Shinji. If Unit 01 is Shinji's mom, Unit 02 is Asuka's mom. And that realisation kind of makes Asuka suddenly become a badass. The Eva action was amazing.

Meanwhile, Shinji is sitting there immobile the entire time and Misato literally has to drag him to the Eva. This sort of does feel a bit weird and like...overdone? I remember someone saying somewhere that End of Eva was a response to the fan response to Eva, and it's like exaggerated on purpose? As in, the fans were getting pissed off Shinji kept saying he didn't want to pilot the Eva, so Anno went extreme and made him literally not move at all the entire first half basically out of spite. That might be wrong. I kind of hope it is. That feels awfully mean-spirited.

Another tie-in to 25 is Gendo explains to Rei their plan is going to begin, but get stopped by Ritsuko. She tries to make the place self-destruct, but the Magi rejects it. And then Ritsuko dies. But Gendo seemingly says he does love her, but whether that's true or not is....who knows?

Oh yeah, and also Misato dies? Like...kind of out of the blue? And Asuka also seems to die and the other Eva series turn into birds and start eating her organs and what the fuck

When Shinji basically gets dragged by Unit 01 itself into the robot, he arrives just in time to see that lovely sight, start screaming, and end of Act 1. So this has gotten depressing. I think I knew end of eva had a total downer ending, and that makes me sad. Especially given that this does seem to be the way the series was intended to end. Characters die and it sucks. And while it seems like Shinji is going to be the thing that saves the day, he's kind of had no agency this entire first half.

And while I love Asuka's final stand, I do kind of wonder if her revelation power-up thing was a bit rushed. Like, she was literally just unconscious before she somehow realises her mother is there and then goes to fight and it's like....there's no build-up?

Look at me, critiquing End of Eva like I'm some sort of important person who can do better

It's like, 25 and 26 seemed to imply that things suck but everything can get better, you know? But End of Eva seems to just be that everything and everyone sucks.

Also now this is making me wonder what the hell 25 was supposed to be if the Human Instrumentality Project hasn't actually started yet. So how were they all on those chairs at the same time as these things were happening? Or was it like, when the project starts, all their souls start reflecting on the events of End of Eva Part 1 which we never got to see? I'm sure there's an answer somewhere.

Okay, just looking over my screenshots of Episode 25 again, they end with implying the reason everything is going to shit is because of Shinji, so I guess it does make sense. It didn't seem to really imply half of them are dead, though. Although those shots of dead Ritsuko and Misato ARE how they happen in the film. Damn it! Does everyone need to die? No one really had to die in the story so far!

Episode 26′

Sorry guys. I think I managed this long, but End of Evangelion has now officially lost me. I don't get it. Let me try and figure out the stuff I do get.

1. The Human Instrumentality Project actually involves something to do with the unification of Adam and Lilith, and Eva and Angel. And the reason Gendo was so obsessed with it was because it would let him see Yui again. Because....either she exists as part of those souls that get merged together, or it's that thing where everyone sees their loved ones before they explode into LCL

2. But at the same time, Rei...disobeys Gendo? This is the part I didn't understand. She seemed to want to obey Shinji, and Shinji's depression meant he wanted everyone's souls combined, but then what did Gendo want instead? If she disobeyed him?

3. Then Shinji gets mind-raped except not actually rape this time and it turns out he's been totally misogynist? He wanted Asuka, Rei and Misato's attention without even considering what they wanted? This is all news to me, that's for sure. And it's one of the most confusing parts of this movie, I feel. The series did not imply his depression came out as insecurity and hatred of the women in his life. Or if it did, I missed it.

4. Trying to figure out the swingset scene...is the idea that he breaks down his own sandcastle because he's upset at being abandoned like...self-destructive behaviour? Is Shinji just self-destructive here?

5. Back onto the women thing, there's a sudden push onto Asuka as, like, the most important women here in his life and I don't understand it. Oh, and then Shinji strangles her? Which tbh does get an explanation

This makes sense, but I didn't see it ever before this, really. Just that line in 25 saying this was the world he had wished for.

6. Turns out Gendo was such a dick because he was scared of the world and relationships, so he did everything he could to cut himself out of them. What do you know.

7. I think I got lost a bit at the live-action segment. Presumably it's this version of the 'generic anime opening' that was the other world in 26, but instead of it saying "the world can be different if you change your perspective", it said Shinji was ALREADY looking at the world in...essentially a wrong way. Escaping into dreams. Also, were they filming a screening of End of Eva in End of Eva?

8. And Shinji seems to spend time in Instrumentality for all of like 2 minutes before he decides that it's not right and chooses to separate everyone again. I don't know if he was learning something in those earlier parts and I didn't get it, or that this came almost out of nowhere.

9. Turns out the point of having a soul in the Evangelion was a way to become immortal. And the reason for doing that was to try and prove human existence, even past the point of...entropy and you know. So Yui's soul will stay inside 01, which is why Shinji bids her farewell at the end of 26.

10. Okay what was that final ending. Shinji wakes up, sees Asuka, tries to strangle her again like in his mind, stops, and then Asuka calls him disgusting. yeah so this is the downer ending huh. what is that supposed to be and why. That Shinji wants to still be self-destructive after getting what he wanted? Or wouldn't choosing to not strangle her be a sign of improvement? Why is he being called out on it?

So there that's End of Eva I maybe get 50% of it I guess here's some screenshots

oh yeah also how did the lance of longinus come back and what is it

congratulations to maya for coming out

get it it's a vagina and shinji is a penis

And that's Eva!

Until the Rebuilds, I guess