#but the thing is its not Weird enough and so i simply havent felt the desire to share it. even tho i think its good smut | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

voidwritesstuff · 11 months ago

Text

Long Way To The Truth

Summary: once in Oregon,Lucas comes across an old friend.

Cw: hurt/confort, Lucas has a fear of needles,mentuons of human experimentation,lmk if I missed any.

♡Chapter 7: Oregon

Light enters through the small Windows of the white van. Warm and nice sunlight that heats up his sleeping bag, it makes him turn to the side and let out a sigh deeply laced with comfort.

When was the last time he felt so...safe?

For a moment he thinks he can get away with sleeping in, like he can just relax and let life go by. His eyes flutter Open to see the small alarm clock hes got,fallen over probably by one of his one too Many movements while asleep.

Lifting it up,he checks the time, It reads "6:30" am. But he knows theres like a two hour difference,Between his home state and this one.

He simply retracts his hand and tucks it underneath his pillow, to then close his eyes to sleep just a few more hours. After the days hes been having, its better if he just allows himself a moment of the closest thing hes got to a domestic comfort. Itll help him in the long run anyway...

Its not always he decides to sleep a few hours in, with the sun in his hair and a soft breeze just pushing the clouds on the big blue Sky above. Wether he admits it or not,he Needed rest,a break from his hectic routine.

Lucas was exhausted, he just needed a moment for himself. He needs to feel like himself again. And Hes been so caught up in ,Well- Not dying or getting thrown in jail or a ditch, that his body is making the desicion for him.

His body feels like a piece of metal being pulled by the worlds strongest, biggest,magnet. His bones are made of lead and his nerves are just jumbled,tied up wires.

Who cares if he sleeps in? So whats one more day of travel? Its all the same to him,he figures he can wait,he can catch up on sleep and clear his head.

But by the time he wakes up,at 10:30 or so, he feels a lot better. A lot better.

Eventually he does get out of the sleeping bag, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes with a loud yawn. He throws on his flannel and his boots- he reaches for one of his thermos since he could use a coffee right now.

Thankfully,the remaining water is enough for exactly one cup of coffee. He grabs a platic mug and simply whips up a quick breakfast.

--Please tell me I havent ran out of jerky--He mutters reaching out to one of his backpacks. He rummages though the contents,just the basic deodorant,change of underwear, toothbrush, a shirt-- Aha! Gotcha

He snatches a half empty bag of dry beef Jerky like finding it was a herculean task. And like a kid in a candy store he eats it, sat there on his sleeping bag like hes having breakfast in bed.

Lucas revels in the warmth of the van,provided by the sun that hits the metal roof above his head. Its just a nice,quiet morning.

When hes done, he makes his way to the drivers Seat and turns on the engine. It comes to life with a roar and he starts drumming on the steeringwheel as he pulls into the somewhat empty road infront of him.

Soon the radio accompanies his thoughts, god he loves music- The soft melodies and the quick paced,high energy rythm are enough to get him on a better mood.

As very tough as he liked to show himself to be,Lucas was a simple Man- When his neurotic brain decided to chill out that is.

Music was his escape,his comfort- Just like he had always had a thing for electronics, his first love was always going to be music. Maybe thats why he chose to be a radioman...

He reaches the town of Forlorn Hiraeth, being greeted with long pastures with farm animals, small houses of brick and some with Plaster. And as he drives into the town proper, he notices something...

The streets have a bit of fog, difusing the light from the sun, the roads are a bit cracked with greenery growing out of it- Dandelions and other weeds Sit there bathed in celestial warmth.

Around him the houses are a mix of modern 90s architecture with vestiges of old 60s homes, its a weird mix of appartments and family houses with porches,yards And even a small parking lot for a supermarket.

--Should re-stock on rations--He mutters to himself,pulling into the parking lot. It doesnt take him long to find a spot and leave the van.

With his eyes settling on the old supernarket,its quite wide and a little ornate with that midcentury modern style. The Windows are long,almost reaching the ceiling- It gives him a clear line of sight into the supermarket which hes thankful for. It eases his mind knowing he can see quite a lot of the inside.

Above him a long roof overhangs from the entrance, its really simple and honestly quite nostalgic- There used to be one supermaket like this in the town he grew up with. Then it was demolished And converted into an appartment building.

The Doors slide Open as he enters, he once again takes off his ballcap before even crossing the threshold.

He shouldve made a list-Too late now.

But its a bit disorienting sometimes, for some reason he keeps getting the aisles wrong- he confuses them with those that were in that old grocery store from his home.

--goddamn-- He whispers to himself, shaking off his thoughts and going to Grab a few canned goods that should last him about 2 weeks.

A few cans of peas,corns, beans(his favorite brand being Bush's Baked Beans), some chili and olives. And then he realizes he shouldve grabbed a cart and so he does that- He feels a little silly but he can allow himself this...dont gotta be perfect,right?

He goes to Grab a few bottles of water, some beef jerky and just as hes passing one of the aisles, he stops.

Before him he sees his younger self on an aisle that had alcohol on it, behind him is...Alphonso.

"Can I pleeeease have a beer?" A young Lucas asked the Man behind him.

"Dont be stupid,youre not 21 Years old"

"C'mon! Im going off to fight I think I derserve a beer"

Alphonso sighed,nodding"Are you sure you dont want your first beer to be with your old Man?"

Lucas just shrugged"Whats tradition anyway?"

The older Man chuckled" Suit yourself,but if im getting your first beer,im taking you somewhere nice. Not store bought" he beamed at his friend who is jumping around like a spring chicken"its on me, of course"

--Young Man-- Says a woman behind him,elderly-- are you alright?

--Wha-?--He turns to see the old woman behind him,no taller than 5'4, olive skin filled with aging lines and wrinkles.

《I seem to recognize your face

Haunting, familiar yet

I can't seem to place it》comes from the radio equipment installed in the palce ,the song played by Pearl Jam but its not like Lucas has enough mental clarity to notice.

Her brown,hooded eyes look at him concerned,her long black hair tied in a half bun.--you seem..out of it?

Lucas clears his throat--Hah, yes. Sorry- lost in thought -- he sees her blink at him for a moment--Why?

--Nothing you just reminded me of someone --She answered,waving it off--apologies

《Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name

Lifetimes are catching up with me》

--ah dont worry- Truth is im not that busy--He replied-- thanks for the concern Ma'am

The womans eyes fall to his dogtags that are poking a bit from his flannel, but shes quick to nodd back and excuse herself,walking away.

《All these changes taking place

I wish I'd seen the place

But no one's ever taken me》

Lucas sighs,pushing away his thoughts. He better not linger just in case, he was taking his time but he wasnt going to catch a bullet for it.

Soon he gets everything he needs and goes to the check out,as he waits for the cashier to pass everything through the scanner he hears a conversation between another cashier and an elderly woman.

--Its good to see you again Ms.zhao--Says a younger Man.--How is everything?

--Lonely sometimes,With Dexter's anniversary coming up and all-- he recognizes the voice, its the same woman who spoke to him-- Im planning to visit the cementery soon

--Well ive heard the green house is going on a sale soon,perhaps you could get some flowers there?

Ms.Zhao sounded...happy at the idea--Oh, that'd be splendid. Thank you,Rex

Lucas turns to see the old woman leave,trying to get a glimpse at her bicep for something- But shes wearing a red cardigan. "Shit" he thinks before paying for his things.

He leaves soon after,looking for the woman he just saw exit the store. But nothing finds him...

The last name made something in his head rattle, and as he packs his groceries into his van, his mind wanders...

Why did he know that last name? Why did the woman looked at him with recognition- or something close to it.

It makes him even more confused when he realizes that he instictively went to check the old womans bicep- He was looking for a tattoo, a specific one.

"No,it cant be Jane- Jane isnt from Oregon, Shes from Colorado. Did- why would she move?" He thinks,sat there at the wheel of his van.

And then his stomach rumbles and he sighs. Yeah,no use in thinking with an empty stomach.

《Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away

Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away》 the radio plays as he drives to a Dinner,the only dinner in the small town.

Once there he does his usual, he parks and while looking at the entrance from his van he just thinks. The only Jane he knew was Jane Zhao, a nurse from the camp he was stationed at- a woman in her 30s, Chinese-American, kind and sassy.

She gave him shit for being scared of needles, he remembers only knowing her through Alphonso though... she had lost someone too-Her best friend, something Sullivan. Jane was more of an acquaintance to him,tough hes sure Alphonso told her all about his protegé young mister Cole.

Alphonso could never shut up about how proud he was of Lucas. He was a Soccer dad through and through

The bell above him rings as he steps, the Sixties exterior with its Open Windows and large rooves clash with the soft pinks,baby blues and light yellows of the inside, with those large bars that appear in greaser movies and that "Golden Age" posters and decor.

He sits at the edge of the bar, ordering a simple meal to eat and just listening to the music coming from the TV.

With the previous experience a few days back, Being in this restaurant made him a bit on edge. Especially with the TV channel being tuned into MTV.

《I swear, I recognize your breath

Memories like fingerprints are slowly raising

Me, you wouldn't recall for I'm not my former

It's hard when you're stuck upon the shelf》

But thats not whats eating at his mind, he taps on the pristine surface of the bar.

"Even if that was Jane, theres no way- She wouldnt recognize me, its been fourty years almost...I changed...I think" he thinks,going to reach for his dogtags. One is his,the other is Wheelers

--Here you go,sir-- Says a waitress with the nametag "Iris".

--huh?-Oh,Thanks-- he answers, turning to look down at the Plate of food.

God,the whole ambience feels so nostalgic, he grew up in places that looked like this- but some things are off,not the same layout, or equipment...

But the cutlery, the shiny steel,the big plates...even the glasses...

Is...is he getting homesick?

Homesick for the past?

Lucas sighs a little annoyed, Last thing he needs is to dig himself deeper down into old memories. He eats,quietly wondering about that old woman, was it Jane? If she was would she remember him?

《My God it's been so long

Never dreamed you'd return

But now here you are and here I am》

When hes done, still in silent contemplation, he simply waves over the same waitress that handed him the food.

--Yes,what is it?

--Im uh- not really from around 'ere--He answers, refusing to meet her eye out of awkwardness. A part of him felt stupid for asking this--Say- I met Ms.Zhao- she wasnt an army nurse was she?

--She was,actually-- Iris answered,a little puzzled--Why?

He blinks a few times--I think she worked in my platoon,do you have any idea where I can find her?

The waitress thinks for a moment, looking off into space for a few seconds. Long,eternal seconds...

--i think she visits San Myra's park at night--Iris answered.

Lucas breathes out a sigh of relief-- Thanks, heres uh- a tip. For the help -- he pays what he owes and leaves a few 10 dolar bills.

And before she can say anything, he gets up and leaves. He really cant talk to people...

So with all that in his mind,he goes to ask around for the park hes looking for. Its pretty much in the center of the town so off he drives there.

Its a long wait, he tries to occupy himself with cleaning out his guns, his radio equipment and going to walk around the neighboorhood against his better judgement.

That 50s/60s architecture cant stop haunting him, but its not quite spot on. Some things are off,the colors,the shapes of the rooves and the crash of modern 90s architecture.

He finds himself digging into old memories, the Games he used to play with his dogs, the robotics competition he used to partake in...

Memories of the few pleaseant times while deployed, inner Jokes with his buddies that made him Snicker to himself, dumb little anecdotes and fun Shenanigans.

In hindsight he does pity Alphonso, he had to wrangle a bunch of teenager and a few rowdy "adults" every single Day of his life. He wonders if he ever got stress white hairs from everything- But at least to his credit, he took things in stride And with a big grin and a sassy comeback.

God,he does miss his old pal.

As happy hour begins to push,he goes to a small bar for at least one drink,something to entretain himself.

He sits there at the counter with a few other folk that talk to themselves. Lucas is happy to nurse his beer alone, taking in that 60 and 70s decor that fill the place with life and character.

Theres even an old jukebox and he indulges in a little throw back. He goes up to it and slides a coin in,choosing the song "Aint no mountain high enough" By Marving Gaye and Tammi Terrel.

Within the old machine he can see cogs whirre up,parts move and slide into place. The vinyl, an actual vynil,being grabbed by this claw like thing and being put on a platform with a needle.

It settles into place with a small click and he returns to his spot to simply enjoy the music that starts pouring in.

He turns to his left side to see the other Converse,but instead he sees the side profile of Alphonso.

"I do wonder why you choose me over yer old man" Wheeler asked,half joking and the other half serious.

"Dont-dont worry about it" Answers a young Lucas with his black curly hair all short" Short hair sucks"

The older Man chuckled,the sound so hearty and genuine "I told you- dont be a cry baby about it- itll grow back"

"But my long hair Man! It gave me all my charm!"

Alphonso laughed loudly" Hah! Kid c'mon, theres more t'ya"

"Oh old one give me some of yer wisdom!" The younger Man teased,making a grand display with a wide grin.

"Wise? Yes, Old? Go fuck yerself" Wheeler answered, taking a long sip of his beer" Ya have a good heart,kiddo" the bottle is set on the counter with a soft knock,his eyes are set on the interior of the bottle,spinning it with his fingers "perseviring,Smart, brave. Kind, sweet..."

Lucas remains silent as he usually does when his unofficial dad talks. His eyes glued on the older Man, leaning in a little to hear him better.

"You care for everyone you come across, and hell yer fathers have the emotional awareness of a pea- And you are so much better than them" the older Man sighs" youre the best of all of us,dont forget that- Even when i-" he makes a pause,conteplating something before correcting himself " when some of Us kick the bucket"

"You talk like yer not coming back" the younger Man chuckled,feeling a little unconfortable at the idea of his best buddy not returning.

"Just old Man ramblings,kid-" he refuses to meet his gaze, his brows furrowed with deep concern that goes unnoticed by his companio.

"Hah,you just said youre not old"

"Maybe I am just starting to lose it" Wheeler says with a quick smirk, he rises his beer" for a better future?"

Lucas grins" and to good Friends"

Their bottles clink and-

--You done with that one,buddy?--Says the barkeeper infront of him.

--Sorry- i yes-- Lucas hands the empty bottle and adds--How much do I owe you?

He pays and finds himself already at night, he walks back to San Myra's park and waits sitting on a bench in silence.Thumb tracing the name on one of his dogtags "Alphonso Wheeler"

Not soon after he sees Ms.Zhao walk past him,up to a statue of a young soldier being held by Saint Nicholas of Myra.

Lucas is quick to follow the old woman and when she looks to her side he asks--Ms.Zhao?

--Oh hey its you--She answers--Yes, its me- What are you doing he-

--I was told you were an army medic,for Vietnam--He starts,the words just coming out like waterfalls,like hes desperate,lost child trying to find an adult to rely on--You tended To Captain Alphonso Wheeler from Alpha Company, a few times actually- Im-

--Lucas--Zhao finishes with a surprised,If not bittersweet look on her face--Lucas Cole

His eyes widen,his heart fills with hope--Jane?

--Ill be damned--She breathes out.

Finally,Someone he knows that isnt dead.

--Well,shit-- he breathes out.

--Dont just stand there,you Crud muffin! Give me a hug--Jane pulls him into a tight embrace. He has to bend over to hug her back,he smiles and burrows his face on the crook of her neck.

Tears pick at the corner of his eyes,he squeezes her a little with a wide grin.

Around them the air is silent,mist creeping from the corners, the streets a little barren. Beside them the saint holds the young soldier,reuniting Him God in peace, with Grace.

--You havent changed a thing --She added,pulling Back with a smile-- Still tall and lanky, that wild black hair and that deer in headlights look!

Lucas feels his face darken--Hey! I grew out of deer in headlights look a long time ago

She snorts--Hah! You did,now you look like a wet cat now

--Hey!!--He yells, flustered.--You and Al' always found a way to make fun of me! Not fair

--Life aint fair,kiddo-- Jane chuckled-- Jesus, you got taller?

--Or maybe you just shrunk--He teased back.

Jane has the Audacity to look impressed-- Finally biting back? About damn time

Lucas groans with annoyance,holding his face in his hands-- Jesus christ!

The old woman cackles,hearty,boisterous,loud and so genuine-- its like im seeing my grandson! Ha--she leans on the display plaque that details the story of saint Nicholas of Myra--Speaking of kids,any of your own? A hot wife? Orrrr husband?

His face grows Darker with blush, suddenly very aware of his personal connections-- No- Not really- for neither. Not yet anyway

Jane raised a brow-- huh..!--He looks at her a little insulted at her disbelief-- Thought you'd have people making line at your door,after all Wheeler told me how full of yourself you were when you were a kid

--I- well- I was 19! Of course I was full of myself-- He said,leaning on the small metal fence that met at the sides of the display plaque.

--well you were really,really full of yourself. Like- a lot

--Okay,okay,Point made,Jane--He looks at the statue,the young soldier- barely in teenhood with dirt on his face and an innocent grin.

He hears the shuffling of cloth,then then a groan of annoyance--Ah shit,got a light?

Lucas turns to see Jane with a cigarette in her mouth--Those things Will kill you

The old woman rolls her eyes-- tell me something I dont know- Do you have a light yes or no?

A soft sigh leaves him and he grabs a lighter from his back pocket. He keeps to himself that the lighter used to belong to Wheeler and flips it Open, soon she lights up her cig And looks at the saint statue.

--i...I heard about Wheeler-- she said quietly,as if hoping he didnt hear.

But his eyes fall to the young soldier and sighs-- course ya did

--I know you suspected that there was foul play involved--She said,exhaling smoke--You were the talk of the ward...

--Because there was,Jane--Lucas replied--Thats why I'm here, im...chasing after this one lead..Its one hell of a long story

She nodds--persevering...just Like Wheeler told me you were-- She takes a drag from her cig--I'd call you bullheaded . Couldnt you just...take a plane?

He shrugs-- Cant pay me to board a plane.. not with those goverment spooks chasing me

--What did you get into,Lucas?--Jane asked,her tone akin to one of a scolding mother.

--Its a long story...

The older woman rubs her eyes,being mindful of her red eyeshadow-- Ill regret telling you this...but I was offered a position not a few days into the ward back at 'Nam, to monitor enemy soldiers exposed to a biochemical weapon...

He snaps his head to look at her--Agen-- He stops,looking around for a brief moment before returning his gaze to her-- Alpha Romeo . Why didnt you-

--I didnt know the symptoms...I refused. It was inhumane! I didnt want to be part of it. But then I was told of the state you were in, and I just...knew -- the older woman's eyes fall to the young soldier statue-- I didnt tell you because I thought itll help you leave it alone...that you'd convince yourself with a lie and...and leave in peace. I mean you were almost like Wheeler's son, and I guess I saw myself as an Aunt, I wanted a peaceful life for you, Kid-

--Dont- Dont call me that-- His voice sounds stern,angry. But it soon breaks down,shaky-- please...

She turns and coos,going to hugh him with one arm as he tries to hold back tears--its not your fault-

--How would you know?

Lucas wipes off his tears angrily, he feels like a child again,lost in that muddly jungle, disoriented...

Jane shakes off her cardigan, dropping it on the floor,she shows her tattoo on her bicep. Its a faded red heart with a cross, the name "Dexter Sullivan" written on it.

--My best friend got shot--She starts, not meeting the Mans gaze-- many times...Then, he was brought to the ward, I was on call and I tried to save his life- Keep pressure on the wounds, I ran to the bloodbank to get transfusions ready. Hell,we shared bloodtypes so I just went and gave him my blood until the doctors could get everything ready

The radioman turns to the older woman, with his eyes misty and red and feeling...Moved.

--When that didnt work, I tried to Stitch the wounds myself- But in the end...he died--Her voice cracks and now its her who has to fight the tears--I spent so,so Many years blaming myself, the doctors kept telling me we were overrun with wounded, that I just afforded him a few seconds of life,allowing him to see that I was trying so damn hard. He died knowing I cared for him

--Oh my god,Jane-

--When he died I was broken. I hated myself,i felt stupid,useless, so guilty--she says, anger in ver voice-- I wouldve wished death took me instead, but as I aged I realized... he died with me around,he died knowing he was cared for,loved...it wasnt my own malpraxis that Killed him- He was already on deaths door when he got there--She continues-- I was a nurse- a damn good one, but he was bleeding out. I did all I could...

--Alphonso- He died in my arms--He added, sniffing--Shot clean through the head by-- he coughs out a sob-- By me- we got sprayed by well- you know what... theres not a day where I dont regret calling for air support, where I wish I was taken and not him

--You werent in sound mind...

--I know-- he replied--But I pulled the trigger, im the reason hes dead...

Jane takes a drag from her cig and offers one to him--Cmon, I saw you smoke a few times

He rolled his eyes, grabbing one and lightning it up soon after- The bitter taste of nicotine in his mouth that soon fills with smoke as he inhales.

《When you were young and your heart

Was an open book

You used to say live and let live

(You know you did)

(You know you did)》One of the nearby houses blooms witt music. Neither mind,its good to have something to drift their attention away from the pain.

--Im here to chase down these fuckers,im going to expose them all--Lucas growls with a vibrant,youthfull anger in his voice.-- Im going to avenge Wheeler and anyone who died at the hands of the chemical

--Putting the world on your shoulders...Hah,I know the feel -- her voice softens as he takes another drag of the cigarrette.

《But if this ever changin' world

In which we live in

Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die

Live and let die》

--But Lucas...--Jane continues--Itll eat you alive. The grief- it never ends really,but you can do something about the guilt--She takes his free hand,squeezing it-- Even I havent fully forgiven myself for Dex, but anger and grief makes you bitter- And if youre going after them as hard as I know you Will, you need your mind clear

《What does it matter to ya

When you got a job to do you got to do it well

You got to give the other fella hell》

--I have a job to do,Jane. Itll get done, Even if I dont make it out

--Good lord,Lucas. Youre sounding just like Wheeler now--She says,exhasperated--But dont you want a happy ending? What Will you do when you get your victory?

Lucas sighs,feeling childish again. Jesus, he hasnt thought about it yet--I- I didnt mean to- Do I really sound so....

《You used to say live and let live

(You know you did)

But if this ever changin' world

In which we live in

Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die

Live and let die》

--Bitter?--She asks and He nodds-- Yes, you do. I have no doubt Wheeler knew of the chemicals, something seemed off with him

--Yeah...yeah he did sound off--He answers--He sounded so certain that he wouldnt come back, the day he took me out for my first beer-Right before deployment, He told me to never forget I was the best of our Group- Even when they kick the bucket. How wouldve he known?

--It was an army operation,and he was a damn good soldier

--Do you think...he got an offer?

--Most certainly--Jane agreed-- Knowing him he probably said no.

Lucas sighs with relief,messing witt his hair as his head hangs low at the mild scare he got from imagining his best friend working for Mayer, or its predecesor.

At least Wheeler was on the right side of history-- Probably yeah, i- God, this is so insidious

--Make Wheeler a favor,forgive yourself, Will you?--She says, patting his back-- He wouldnt hold it against you,ever. He loved you like a son, he wouldnt want you to suffer,and neither do I

He chuckles-- you know me a lot more than I know you

She smiles with that bittersweet look in her eyes--Yeah,he never shut up about you-You were the great Lucas Cole,promise of his platoon

Lucas snorts--He was big on hyping me up- All the damn time

Jane rolled her eyes--Oh he'd sing only praises about your aim,your kindnes...and all the dumb shit you did

He laughs loudly, taken by surprise. Its a warm,nostalgic laugh--Hah, im sure he did

Silence falls,the wind blows and the mist thickens. Between them they stand there,reunited.

Above them the Sky is starlit and clear, the music from that one house now a mere hum, the street is barren, and theres an air of privacy,of domesticity to this moment of sincerity.

The nurse figures its quite late now,she turns to the Man she sees as her surrogate Nephew and says--Need a place to stay?

--I can sleep in the van-

--Nonsense, itll fuck up your back--Its so weird to hear an old woman curse-- My son has left the nest a long time ago,my husband is well asleep- I can tell him tomorrow

He snorts-- youre too sweet-- he sighs and nodds,he could use a comfy bed--Fine, cmon ill drive you there

At Janes house,Lucas is guided to the barren bedroom of the place. The beds comfortable and warm, and with his heart and soul a little lighter, he can rest.

The house is quiet, the room is small and cozy-It has the outline of his old room back at his family home...it makes Him feel cozy,safe.

Next morning introductions are made,the ex soldier meets his host's husband, Jared Lawson. Both men get along quite well, specially when Jane tells her beloved who Lucas is.

Its nice to have people he sort of knows,he feels...welcomed,at home, and Jane is a great Cook so he gets not only a hearty breakfast but also some snacks for the road.

--You and Wheeler eat like damn starved hogs-- the nurse teased, seeing her guest inhale a Plate of Bacon and eggs.

Sheepishly,Lucas shrugs and keeps eating.

Just as hes ready to leave, his heart aunt stands there with her cream dress,her red cardigan and her crimson bandana holding her black hair in place. She unties it and her hair falls in beautiful Rolling waves.

--lean down ,Lieutenant

‐-Yes ma'am --He says,and leans to eye level. She Gently curls his hair into a bun and ties it with that red bandana.

--Red's a good luck color in China, now you carry a piece of me with you.

He chuckles,feeling his eyes get misty already--Ill come visit once everything is done, maybe ill even bring a hot wife and kids for you to meet

She laughs--You better, I want to be an aunt for Real

--Am I not enough Auntie Jane?--He teased like he was that shit head of a teen he used to be

--Hah! Asshole

They say goodbye with a good tight hug, and Lucas hops into his van and drives off. His spirits risen, his hopes high and his grin wide.

Its good to be reminded that youre not alone in things that feel like bigger than you. Just because his buddies are dead, it doesnt mean theyre gone

Jane is still there.

Wheeler lived on in his heart

Perhaps he can start the work in forgiving himself.

And as he watches the Rolling mountains of Oregon,the beautiful trees and Lakesthat frame the road he goes through, and under that blue skies

He decides to at least try to be Kinder to his mind and soul,and that young soldier that lives within him.

#in sound mind #ism #ism lucas #ism desmond #lucas cole #ism lucas cole #desmond wales #ism oc

4 notes · View notes

kanside · 1 year ago

Text

sentimental things

feel free not to read, this little entry is kindof a bummer

my grandma and grandpa on my moms side, my oma and opa on my dads side.

i try to think of the gifts they gave to me beyond money, physical items.

ill be blunt, i dont know any of them well. my grandpa is a bit creepy, missing a chunk of his brain, a classic narcissist, perhaps one of the only people i consider a lost cause. i still wish i had a grandpa though. of the few times i remember seeing his bashed in creepy face, his eyes always seemed sweet. despite the horror stories ive always been told about his actions and failures as a parent and grandparent.

i havent seen any of my grandparents on either side in a long time.

my grandma has cancer bummer i tried reaching out to her, she never understood me being trans but always respected it. we simply never got to talk much.

i couldnt hold a conversation with her. even now she ghosts my mom about her condition. i dont think she'll make it long. i dont know how to feel about that lol

ive never had to deal with the concept of grief before. ive tried talking about it, but nobody really understands. i got lucky, i guess. the only grief i knew was people willingly leaving me due to my own bad actions. i never knew anyone i loved or wanted to love who was torn away by death. i had a dog once, her name was chewie. but i was too young to understand the connection i couldve formed with her. she didnt like living with us, so we gave her to grandma and grandpa and she lived and died with them. i didnt grieve. i felt bad, i worried for my sibling's grief, but i didnt experience what everyone calls grief. i just moved on, cus i hadnt had anything else to do.

i dont understand grief, i dont understand what it feels like and i dont understand how to cope with it. i dont understand how to support people going through grief. and i dont know how i feel about my grandmother dying. because she is, and i wish she wasnt, but she's a smoker and my parents are smokers and we all know that at a certain point when you smoke too much you either get cancer or you dont, and once you have cancer theres no getting rid of it for good, i think.

i dont know if what im experiencing is a sort of grief, or perhaps my body warning me. saying "hey. your mom is grieving. shes going to grieve more. thats her mother dying, thats your mother's mother you never got a chance to understand in your adulthood and befriend. that's a person in the wrong place at the wrong time. surrounded by the wrong people and down the wrong path. yet she kept trying her best and supporting the best she could, even though your mother says she didnt do enough."

maybe its missing out. jealousy maybe? thats a little fucked up lol. i just want to understand. i just want to be prepared, because i know death and grief comes to everyone, and i dont have room to be unprepared for such a thing.

im a little off track

recently (well actually not recently, my time streams a little fucked. im not remembering in the right order. it was actually a long time ago i think. earlier this year) my mom went a trip. she brought me back a few trinkets, a few amethyst necklaces she picked up from some street shop. i dont like jewlery, it feels suffocating. it feels unnatural and weird.

but my perception changed. i really like when that happens. i really like my brain accepting new things. i began wearing the necklace nonstop. i tricked my own anxiety, i said "this necklace is a barrier, it is protection. i wear this and it channels the love of my own mother. it is a shield." the only time i didnt wear it was when i showered. i think i even wore it at the amusement park, but i dont remember. i stopped having dreams. i still dont know how to feel about that. i like dreams, but i also dont like them. they were becoming disruptive, distracting. now i could control when i had them. i could control how strong they were. at first they were intense and overbearing, but the longer i wore the necklace the more they subsided.

but i wasnt getting good sleep, at least not recently. i suppose i got overwhelmed with the feeling, irritated. now i take the necklace off at night and i dream. not much makes sense in my dreams, but i started doing therapy again, so i suppose it cant hurt to get lost in my head now and then.

im off track again

gifts

when i was really really little, i assume, too little to remember. my oma would make little gifts. a part of me likes it a lot more than money, but i know that physical things are too precious and too short lived, and they always end up collecting dust in my closet because i have no space in my room and my mind to have them.

she liked to sew little things together. i have a pillowcase with my deadname on it, its pink and cute. its started to fall apart

there are holes and rips in it. it is tearing to bits. but i have three pillows, and third pillow on the top right under my head must have oma's pillowcase. i dont know if its the unwillingness to let things go, even temporarily, but i still want to sleep with it even if it needs repairs or is unsalvagable.

my mom said "if its so sentimental then just store it away, we have more pillowcases" i responded, in another room by myself, when i thought up a better thing to say: "when you dont have people in your life, sentimental things mean more."

i dont know if thats the right way to word it. i dont have a good memory, i lose people regularly. not to death, but to time. to mistakes and growth and moving on. there are images of people in my closet from early days in school that i just know meant so much to me, but i dont know their names. i dont remember their voices. i dont know what they meant to me. i cant even grieve. the weight on my heart is not sadness, but a sort of confusion? like wonder, maybe. "i wonder what we were. i wonder what we could've been."

well, its whatever. life moves on. i will continue to dream and get lost in my thoughts. i will continue to fantasize about an unlikely future where i build a nice little cob house on a family farm and live off of the land that is totally not dying by man's hand. i will avoid the definition of feelings i do not understand, like grief, and wait until i learn the hard way. the hard way is the only way i've ever willingly learned, after all.

0 notes

jedibongrip · 2 years ago

Note

WHO LET THIS MAN IN THE JEDI ORDER PLEASE, also a little mind break never hurt anyone 👀👀👀

>:3c

under the cut cuz these ones are more ns4w

who let this man in the jedi order is where, instead of picking obi-wan to be his padawan after bandomeer, qui-gon decides that obi really isnt suited to the jedi way or to hard labour. and since he's a little stewjoni beauty (ie.. puthy), qui gon helps set him up as an apprentice in a ~ pleasure parlour ~ on a core or middle rim planet. the fact that he visits from time to time to check on his progress well... no one else has to know, especially when obi-wan is well trained enough that he can test out and see how well the training has paid off. it'll come to a climax (excuse the pun) when qui-gon visits obi wan with... his padawan, a handsome man, about to be knighted. (of course, all these years, qui gon told obi-wan that he simply didnt want a padawan or wasnt allowed. and now obi wan has to service the boy who got what obi wan dreamed of, to be trained as a jedi under qui gon.) i havent decided how this ends lmao if its cute or angsty or perhaps even... obi wan gets to go ape shit. idk. this one is all outline atm, so no snippet to offer :( but i'll take suggestions for sex acts that ppl want included in it lmao

a little mindbreak never hurt anyone is going to be my BABY i can already tell. it's an a/b/o fic where, following (a slightly altered events of) mustafar, alpha obi-wan bonds with omega anakin, and through various means (force suggestions, weird omegaverse bond logic etc) basically induces some form of amnesia in anakin, basically to make him forget that he fell. anakin (who lost both legs and suffered some burns) thinks he had some terrible accident at the end of the war, and though he forgets a lot of things and is often confused, he has a wonderful life now. he has three wonderful children, a nice home in the midrim where people don't talk about the war, he gets to take care of his home all day. except he keeps having weird thoughts and urges and for the first time since he can remember, his alpha can't fix it. basically it'll be a lot of feminization, weird sex, and yes, mind fuckery as obi-wan tries to keep anakin in the light through dick, children, and suburbia

snippet:

After a second, Obi-Wan looks at him, and the hard look behind his eyes melt away. His fingers start moving again and he smiles. “Oh, dear one, I know what this is.”

“You do?” Anakin asks, hopeful. If his alpha knows what’s wrong, then he can fix it. Obi-Wan nods, leans down and presses a kiss to Anakin’s temple. It makes him feel warmer, fuzzier.

“Of course, darling. You’re getting empty nest syndrome much too early again.” He chuckles as Anakin frowns and shakes his head.

“What? No… No, it’s not that.”

“Of course it is, Anakin. You were just like this when the twins turned three, remember?” Anakin does remember. He remembers how, whenever he had a moment to himself, he felt… angry. How Obi-Wan started pre-slicing food for Anakin after seeing how he would stare at the kitchen knives. How he would get lost in his own head for hours, ignorant to his babies asking for their mommy to play with them or get them a snack or bathe them. How he had uncontrollable fantasies of leaving, abandoning his mate, his children, and his peaceful life to… do something, go somewhere far away. It scared him. And… Obi-Wan fixed it, stopped those confusing and hurtful thoughts by giving him another baby. “This started when you started weening Rey, right?”

Shyly, Anakin nods. She’s only two, but she transitioned to solid foods much faster than the twins, often refusing Anakin’s milk in favour of her favourite snacks. It… hurt, a little, when his darling baby rejected him, crying instead for fruits or eggs or oatmeal. Obi-Wan gives him another soft smile. “Well, there you have it. Your baby is getting bigger and you miss having a little thing on your tit all day.” A hand reaches over and palms Anakin’s full breast. He gasps, arching his back, pressing into the pressure. “Less than three years since I bred you last and you’re already aching for it. Aren’t you, sweet omega?”

Anakin’s head is cloudy with want, with need. He is aching, yearning, desperate for… a baby, apparently. Yes, he wants another baby. He wants his alpha to give him another baby to take care of, to love, another being whose entire universe revolves around Anakin. Now that he knows, the thought consumes him. He whines, pressing himself more fully against his alpha.

“Please,” he begs, learning up to pepper kisses against Obi-Wan’s neck, pressing his tits against his chest. “Please, Obi-Wan, alpha, I want it.”

“It?” Obi-Wan teases.

“Fuck, a baby, another one. Want you to breed me again, fuck me full. Always want to be full of your kids.” Now that he’s said it, Anakin finds it to be true. He always wants his mate’s babies in him, around him, on his hip or on his breast. He wants to raise a little army of Obi-Wan’s children.

Obi-Wan groans and presses a sloppy kiss against Anakin’s mouth. His broad hand continues to paw at and pinch his sensitive nipples. “Such a sweet omega,” he whispers. “So good for me. Of course I’ll give you another baby, another kit. I’ll give you anything, Anakin. Anything to keep you sweet and happy.”

#bongrip answers #ask games #bongrip ideas

27 notes · View notes

kaz11283 · 4 years ago

Text

Love Never Wins

Summary: Words will be said but do you really think either one of you mean them. Sometimes actions speak louder.

Warnings: slight angst

Characters: Loki, Thor, Y/n, Clint, avengers in the background here and there

Loki x you, Thor x you (platonic), Clint x you (brother,sister)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Not going to lie. This was going to be a simple short sweet straight to the point drabble but it turned into such a looooong one shot (i guess) I was in a good head space wgile writing this and just couldnt stop really. But it is something that I am very proud of.

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: I've had to make this a simple 2 part. I got way to carried away with everything in it!

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on with you?" You yelled as you grabbed Loki by the arm pulling him away from the girl who was obviously flirting with him and he with her.

"What are you talking about? We were talking." He yelled back.

"You were flirting Loki in front of everyone! Openly! Don't play me for the fool you think I am. You've been off lately. Not around as much, zoning out when we finally have some time together. If there's something you want to say tell me now." You felt the tears rush to your eyes. You had seen all the signs, hell you were an expert at the signs. Multiple boyfriends had given you the signs before but for some reason you though that maybe, just maybe, he was diffrent.

"I just feel like we've grown apart in the last few months y/n. I don't think I can do this anymore." he said simply.

"You said I brought out the best side of you, that I was the love of your life." You said tears streaming down your face now, to hell with the makeup you was wearing you wasn't going back to the party anyways.

"You're not." He stated simply clenching his jaw.

"Ok fine. It's not the first time I've been broken up with. Just the first time that I had ever put so much into someone that I truly did see a future with just to have my heart completely ripped out in front of me. You got me good this time trickster. Don't think I'll be able to fully recover from this one." You spat back at him before turning to head up stairs to your room that the two of you had shared for so long.

Luckily Tony hadn't done anything to the room you had once occupied on a lower level of the tower so you easily moved all of your clothing back into there in a matter of no time. You weren't use to the feeling of being alone but thats all you wanted right now for the rest of your life. The god of tricks had ruined other men for you, he had once shown you love like you had never felt, and now your heart broke like it had never broke before.

"Hey sis, noticed you weren't- oh god what did he do?" Clint asked walking into your room. "Knew something was up. I could feel it."

"Hawk stop with the twin shit, its creepy." You huffed whipping your eyes on the back your long sleeve hoodie.

"What happened? All I know is you two disappeared, he came back, you didn't, and he said I should probably find you in your old room." He sat down next to you.

"We broke up. Easy as that. Ya know I never understood why they say not to date your co workers till today." You shrugged turning to him. "When we first got together you hated it-"

"To be fair he did brainwash me."

"I didn't say you didn't have a right. We kept it from you for a while though. But we hadn't been together long, Hawk, I thought he was diffrent from any man I ever dated-"

"Well he is a god, kinda different."

"Would you shut up so I can vent just for a little bit then you can go back to the party."

"Na, parties lame anyways, I was thinking about hanging out here for a little bit." He said kicking his shoes off and proping his feet on the coffee table throwing his arms across the back of the couch.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes as you snuggled into your brother. "He was so kind, gentle, he was paciant with me. He knew that me and you were close and he didnt wamt to get in the way of that. He wanted us to be closer than he and Thor was. I think it helped him realize just how important family is when you only have each other. We kept it a secret for so long though." You pulled the hood up closer to your face. You didn't want to admit to yourself but you had kept the jacket because it still smelled like him.

"Nat seen the two of you making out in the hall weeks before you told anyone by the way." He laughed pulling you closer to him. " I didnt say anything though because I knew you would tell me when you were comfortable with it."

"I love him so much and he played me. Completely tricked me into these feelings that I dont think will ever change." You sobbed wrapping your arms around his waist, he through his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

"Hes a dick with a god complex. Hes not good enough for you at all. Coming from a brother, a twin brothers point of view, I think you could do better. All is fair in love and war, but dont put it past me to be a little rougher on him during training, and I wont point anything out if you happen to let some bad guy kill him on the field." He said kissing the top of your head.

"Hawk, you know I'm not like that. I habe a reputation to up hold." You said slapping his arm before pulling away. "If you wanna stay theres still some of your sweats that I stole in the bedroom and ice cream in the freezer, but your sleeping on the couch. Its been since we were kids that we shared a bed but I bet you still kick."

~~~~

A few weeks had passed since you and Loki had called it quites. You had been mainly staying in your room trying not to cause any uncomfortable silence if you and Loki wede in the same room. On one occasion when you had ventured out to the living room you seen Loki holding an icepack to his eye and a busted lip, your first instinct was to rush over and make sure he was ok but instead you turned and took a seat between Thor and Clint.

"Lady Y/n, as always your peresnts lights up the room. We just havent been seeing much of it as of late." Thor greeted you with a warm smile throwing his huge arm ober your shoulder, making you look smaller than you already was.

"No more gods." Clint mumbled beside you.

"Thor is just a friend. One of the best I have." You laughed. "What happened?" Nodding toward Loki.

"Payback." He shrugged.

"Ah yes, it turns out Loki is not very good at hand to hand combat unles he is able to use his magic." Thor laughed. "I always tried to get him to train with me but he never did, turns out he probably should have."

"Oh for god sakes I'm right here and you three are not really whispering. I shouldn't have to learn hand to hand combat I have my sedair! I'm assuming it was just your brothers idea so that he could get back at me." He yelled.

"And you forget that there could come a time when you might need hand to hand. I told you many times that you needed to train but no mister 'I'm Loki prince of Asguard, burdened with glorious purpose', mister I have my magic. Bullshit. Your just sour because a mear mortal bested you at something. Grow a pair and learn how to actually fight." You jumped up. You had finally snapped. It had been coming tough sitting in you waiting for the right, or wrong, time to show up.

"You watch your tone!" He shouted jumping up. "I know how to fight better than half the people in here." Clint and Thor slowly stood watching the scene in front of them neither one know what to do.

"You know how to use your pixie dust to make things happen! Well guess what tinker bell this aint Neverland. We get in weird predicaments all the time you never know what to expect." You yelled back. "Hell Loki, your probably so bad at hand to hand even I could beat you."

"Oh your on. Training room, 30mins. That is unless your scared?" He said giving you a mischievous smirk.

"Trust and believe I'm not afraid of you by any means. No weponds, no sedair strictly hand to hand." You said turning on your heel to walk to your room to get ready leaving Clint and Thor standing alone in the living room aww struck.

"So what do we do?" Clint finally asked.

"Well of course we have to stop this. It will not end very well." Thor answered.

"So tell the others?"

"Yes you tell the others I will get refreshments for the battle." They took off in seprate directions.

#loki and thor #loki avengers #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki daily #loki #loki angst #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki fandom #loki x y/n

136 notes · View notes

s4ijoh · 4 years ago

Text

meet me halfway (across the globe). suna rintarou

SUNA RINTAROU X GN! READER

GENRE: slice of life; facetime call; fluff

WORD COUNT: 1.4k+

WARNINGS: established relationship; mentions of stress

in which suna is somewhere far away…

[10:22] rin: “you up?”

[10:23] rin: “big game tomorrow morning.”

[10:23] rin: “cant’ sleep. need to see u.”

the phone buzzing on the bedside table startles you out of your morning somnolence. the empty spot in bed next to you feels a weird type of unfamiliar. you drowsily stretch your arms out, reaching for the ringing device while dragging out a loud yawn.

you are taken aback by surprise once you take a look at the numbers displayed on your phones lock screen: 10:25am. its already past midnight in his timezone. he shouldn’t be up this late.

swiping through your phone's screen, you waste no time in dialling his number once you come across the green facetime icon and luckily, it is only a brief moment until he is picking up and oh boy are you met with a sight to behold. if it werent for your concern, you could’ve just stayed there, marvelling in awe at your boyfriend, sitting shirtless against the headboard in all his glory. his pale skin is gleaming a beautiful shade of orange under the dim light of the table lamp thus reminiscing a statue made of gold; his tousled, black feathery hair sticking in all different directions yet with just a few loose strands cascading down the sides of his temple and framing his face in such way that made him look effortlessly handsome.

he looked as beautiful as ever. however, despite the apparent picture perfect scenario, you would be a fool not to notice the clear signs of restlessness showcased on his features nonetheless.

“sorry, did i wake you?” suna apologizes tenderly with a doting frown on his face once he notices your lids still heavy with vestiges of somnolence just barely peeking from the bottom of the screen. your phone is propped up on your chest, the lower half of your face hidden away from him as you refuse to get up from your comfortable position laying under the warm blankets.

“dont worry about it, baby.” you hurriedly push his apologies aside whilst rubbing the sleep off your eyes to try and not make him feel too bad about it “you know you can call me anytime. im always waiting for you on the other end whenever you need me”

he offers you a subtle smile, although its odd — its weak, not sincere. it is not the usual signature smirk with a teasing remark on the side you earn whenever you say something cheesy. it is also hard to miss the darkening spots growing under his tired eyes, his usual sparkly green orbs now nearing dull, heavy with underlying frustration. it made it all crystal clear.

rintarou is not an outwardly emotional person and definitely not one to voice his concerns. his pleas for help were often left unspoken and it takes a sharp eye to see through his unwavering surface. for the most part, the blank expression he's seen wearing most of the time did a pretty good job at shielding his feelings yet his eyes often betrayed him.

he had taken off a couple days ago to somewhere foreign for an important match. you know how sometimes, before a decisive match takes place, he lets pressure get to that pretty head of his and relies on you to keep him grounded and soothe his racing mind. for the longest time, he had been capable of keeping his emotions at bay and deal with his troubles on his own but ever since you came around, rintarou found himself growing selfish and craving your comfort, finding solace in your reassuring words and warm embrace.

you miss the old days when your lover was just at an arm's length and all it took was for him to say the word for you to drop everything and come running to his house, to hold him in your arms and make it all feel better. you remember people in highschool claiming suna was bound to fade into the background given his lazy tendencies and lack of enthusiasm. (what a waste of potential, they would say) suna would shrug. he never payed any mind to it — you praised him on his unshakable nature. it should be a major ego boost for rintarou to know that, not that many years later and against the spiteful tongues of some of your classmates, he made a name for himself as a first division professional volleyball player, thus proving them wrong.

however, he still has quite a few demons to tame inside his head. one of which was self-doubt.

you let your eyes roam his tired features for a moment. “you need to get out of your head, rin”

suna knew you could read him like an open book. you made him feel vulnerable under your scrutinizing gaze. he felt exposed. to have you stare directly into his naked soul was intimidating, more so than to have you stare at his nude body, like you have done dozens of times before. but just like you did with his body, you had taken your time to get to know every corner of his soul. you knew him like the palm of your hand — both mind and body.

“i know.” he tears his gaze away from yours, looking down while running a hand through his disheveled hair and down to scratch his neck in frustration. “tell me how have your days been?”

the silence of his hotel room was eating him whole and he needed you to distract him. most of the time, suna was fond of the silence. after a rough day he found comfort in laying down in his bed and basking in the quiet. he found peace in it. sometimes it was in the quietness of his own little world that he found the solution to his problems. but upon your arrival to that mysterious world of his, your voice soon became his favorite sound. he craved you to fill in the silence that he once treasured.

and so he listens. suna listens as you talk throughout the night (who would’ve guessed you had just woken up), rambling on about your days as other trivial things — namely how you could never get used to starting the day without his morning cuddles. he found it endearing how you seemed to speak enough for the two of you. he was a man of few words so he was lucky to have found someone to fill in the silence for him. and so he listens until his eyes start progressively feeling heavy, your voice lulling him to sleep.

“hey, baby” he calls in a barely audible raspy voice. suna lays down on his side under the cold unwelcoming bed sheets, holding his phone next to his face on the pillow “put your pretty face on the phone”

a soft smile crawls its way up to your flushed face at his sugar coated words, his voice although drowsy sounding sweeter than saccharin. you were so lost in the lovely image of him that you failed to notice that your face was barely on the frame, just your eyes peeking shyly from the bottom of the screen.

you shuffle in bed, turning on your side to mirror his position. its almost as if you’re not a hundred miles apart and he's lying right next to you, if you squint hard enough.

“there you are” he mumbles weakly under his breath, a loving smile on his pillowy rosy lips that you miss dearly.

his eyes appear weary through the screen yet he never fails to look at you with the utmost love. dumbfounded, you wordlessly stare at each other as you fall into a comfortable silence that is however, filled with a hundred unspoken words.

his love is quiet, hesitant at times but never shallow. he felt deeply and feared he wasn't the best to put it into words so sometimes, his love, it hides beyond lingering stares and shy touches. it remained unuttered most of the time but words are futile when he has shown his devotion to you countless times before.

“hey rin. you think you can go to sleep, now?” you notice him fighting the urge to let his eyes close shut, battling to stay awake for a little longer to try and memorize your face for later so he can dream of you tonight.

he simply nods with his eyes shut, too sleepy to pronounce a single word.

“call me tomorrow after the game, alright?” he nods yet again, noticeably starting to drift away at last but not before muttering a quiet i love you before the last hint of consciousness leaves his body, eliciting a tender smile from you.

“i love you, rin. ill meet you in your dreams tonight.”

[a/n]: so! writing this fic made me realize that im undeniably in love with suna and he now owns a 51% share of my heart. (oikawa. ill never forget you. its not you its me (suna) maybe its time i move on. 🤒 jk jk ill have both pls and ty 🥰)

anyways ye i guess im back from my mini hiatus (as a full suna whore) :))

this is honestly a word dump, initially this was supposed to be like... what.. 500 words long? i just thought of the prompt “put your pretty face on the phone” and the rest is just me pouring my love for him into words ah-ha. (you probably noticed how it is unnecessarily cheesy 🙄)

just for the record!! i havent finished season 4 just yet 🐸 lmao. i took inspiration off of nooras (@/inarzki) characterization of suna because she was the one who made me fall in love with him in the first place.

#suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna fluff #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou fluff #haikyuu x reader

238 notes · View notes

despairofthefuture · 4 years ago

Note

She may be looking for Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess, or Gundham Tanaka, the Ultimate Breeder. They're both into dark occult stuff. They're also in the same class as Chiaki and Ryota. I think they're pretty close friends, so if you find one you'll probably find the other not far off.

"Princess!?" Hiro repeats, his eyes widening. "There's a princess at this school!?"

"As amazingly cool as that is-" Leon says, trying to bring them back on topic. "-this Gundham dude....Why would a...breeder know about occult bullshit?"

"The same reason a princess would?" Hiro mutters under his breath.

Chihiro furrows his brow in thought, the small boy looking very worried. "W-well, Mukuro did say it had nothing to do with his talent." He reminds them. "So perhaps it's a hobby of his?"

"Well, regardless, this is all we have to go on, and you guys havent been wrong yet!" Leon says determinedly, flashing the spirits a grin. "Since Mukuro specifically said 'he', we should check up on this Gundham weirdo first. So hurry the hell up, Hiro! Look up this Gundham guy!"

The clairvoyant nods and does as he was told, looking up a picture of Gundham Tanaka. When he finds one he stares at it in surprise. "This...this guy works with animals?" He asks, stunned.

Leon looks over his friend's shoulder and raises a brow. "Damn. Yeah, he looks more like an Ultimate Clairvoyant than you do! He obviously seems to be embracing the occult for a start!"

This earns the ghost a glare, but Hiro quickly shakes his head and returns his phone to his pocket. "Well, whatever. We know what he looks like, so let's go to his dorm."

As he begins making his way there, Chihiro frowns. "You know, the fact that Mukuro knows about this Gundham means she and Junko must have been studying him, or at the very least his class." He points out. "Which would make sense considering how much of her plan revolves around 77-B." His face saddens. "Poor guys. It's bad enough Junko put us, her classmates and friends through something like a killing game, but to basically torture a whole other class?"

"Its sick." Leon agrees, his eyes narrowed angrily. "She's sick."

Hiro simply nods in response, a frown on his face as he walks. Suddenly, he freezes in place. "Wait, what about Hajime?!" He asks. "I was supposed to meet up with him and-"

"That can wait a minute!" Leon interrupts him. "If we dont hurry and stop Mukuro, who the hell knows what could happen!"

Hiro nods in understanding, breaking out into a sprint towards the dorms, causing a brown haired boy in a Reserve Course uniform to look up and give him an annoyed look as he passed.

~~~

Hiro was thankfully able to find Gundham's room with relative ease. As he stands in front of the Ultimate Breeder's door, he hesitates.

"Dude, what's the hold up?" Leon asks impatiently.

Hiro frowns and begins picking at his skin. "Its just...the energy surrounding this room...its...really heavy and...dark..." He mutters.

Leon groans and rolls his eyes. "Oh for the love of-Hurry the hell up!" He snaps.

Hiro sighs and nods, reaching a hand up and knocking on the door.

A quiet exchange of voices could be heard along with some shuffling until the door is opened.

"Who dares disturb the Overlord of-"

The boy behind the door stops when he sees Hiro. The two lock eyes, and a wave of energy courses through the clairvoyant.

The extravagantly dressed man before Hiro stares at him for a moment more before he smirks. "Heh. I had thought the dark lady and myself were the only ones dabbling in the forbidden arts, but I can sense they run through your veins as well."

Hiro blinks in surprise at the guy's strange speech patterns. "Uh...i-if by 'forbidden arts' you mean fortune telling, then yeah!" Hiro finally responds, forcing a smile onto his face. "My names Yasuhiro Hagakure. I'm the Ultimate Clairvoyant!"

The other man lets out an impressed hum. "Clairvoncy, hm? Then have your visions sent you to my side for the aid of my dark powers?!" He suddenly poses in a strange way, and Hiro blinks in confusion.

"Uh...y-yeah. More or less. Youre... Gundham Tanaka, right?" He asks, scratching his head as he begins to regret coming here.

Gundham's smirk widens as he nods. "My reputation of course precedes me. Indeed, that is my name! GUNDHAM TANAKA!" The...eccentric fellow bellows out his name, cause Chihiro to flinch slightly.

Leon rolls his eyes. "Dear Lord this guy is gonna be annoying." He mutters.

Hiro gives a subtle nod in agreement before forcing the smile onto his face again. "Well, great! Do you, uh, mind if I come in, Gundham?'

Gundham shakes his head and steps to the side. "But of course not! A fellow user of the dark arts is always welcome in my abode!" He declares. "Although my Third Eye has failed me, for I did not forsee your visit." The breeder suddenly blushes, catching Hiro even more off guard as the man attempts to hide the flush by raising his scarf over his face. "I currently have...company over. The dark princess, Sonia Nevermind. But do not fear! I am training her to be my apprentice, so you need not hold your tongue with anything you must tell me!" He declares with finality as he turns with a flourish and walks into his room.

Hiro stands still for a moment longer, sharing an unsure look with Leon and Chihiro, before following the breeder into his room and closing the door behind him.

The dark atmosphere Hiro had felt from outside the door was tripled the moment he took a step inside, and he shivered. Gundham's room was dark, light blotting curtains hung at the windows that allowed the only light inside the room to be the many lit candles that were scattered around. There was a bookcase against one of the walls, and on it several heavy looking leather cased books.

"Well I guess we found the right guy." Leon mutters.

Hiro nods in agreement as he continues scanning the environment. His gaze stops at something that seemed out of place. A brightly colored hamster cage where four happy looking hamster were currently rested inside.

"Well, he is the Ultimate Breeder." Hiro thinks to himself. "I guess it would be more weird if there wasnt anything animal related here."

"Oh, Gundham! You have company!" A sweet, feminine voice speaks up, causing Yasuhiro to turn his head in its direction. He couldnt help but stare. There was a beautiful blonde girl, sat upon Gundham's bed.

"Indeed I do, dark mistress." Gundham confirms, coming to a stop in front of the hamster cage. He opens the lid and places some treats inside, the four critters skittering over to them and eating them hungrily. "He says his name is Yasuhiro." A grin spreads on his face as he turns from his four pets. "He is also a user of the arts."

The girl, who Hiro assumes to be Sonia Nevermind, gasps and clasps her hands together excitedly. "Really?!" She exclaims happily. "There is another one at the school?!"

"It indeed seems that way, Sonia." The breeder confirms, his gaze going to Hiro. "He says he is a clairvoyant, and that he received a vision that called him to me."

Sonia gasps and looks to Hiro as well. "Is that so? Then please! I insist you inform us of the details of your vision at once!"

For some reason Hiro felt extremely compelled to bow towards the upperclasswoman and the need to hurry with the explanation. He blinks and clears his throat, attempting to calm his nerves. "R-right. Well, it's a long...and, well, pretty unbelievable story if I'm being honest." He sighs before continuing. "But I swear to you, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Earth or whatever deity you believe in its true.

It started when my classmate Junko Enoshima came to me, asking me to read her future...."

~~~

"...and then Mukuro mentioned someone else with knowledge of...occult stuff." Hiro finishes explaining, holding back the urge to explain his distaste for the occult. "And the spirits mentioned it could be one of you two." He looks between Sonia and Gundham, both of which look extremely surprised. "And since Mukuro said 'he' we went to your room first." He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. "So...yeah. We wanted to make sure Mukuro's ghost...future ghost...didnt come here and find something she could use."

Gundham stares at the clairvoyant for a while, seemingly at a loss for words. Finally he clears his throat. "Well...that certainly is...quite the ordeal." The breeder recovers quickly, a grin forming on his face as he poses. "However you are in luck! I am quite skilled in this department, and while I cannot see your apparitions-" He walks over to his bookshelf and shifts through the many books before letting out a soft 'ah ha!' and pulling out a rather large one. He flips through it before placing his finger on a page. He then begins muttering something, which causes Hiro to frown and shift uncomfortably.

Gundham's eyes close, and a soft wind suddenly blows through the room, despite there being no open window. When he opens his eyes, he meets Hiro's eyes. They then shift over to Leon and Chihiro, his grin turning to a smirk.

"Ah ha! Hello there, fiends!" He looks over to see the shimmering outlines of the unknown spirits. "And to you as well."

Hiro's eyes widen in surprise. "You...you can see them?!"

"Of course!" Gundham boasts, slamming the book shut with one hand. "Did you believe these tombs were for show?!"

Hiro holds his tongue.

"Now I can be of more help to you and your miss-" He stops, his gaze slowly moving over to his bookshelf. He narrows his eyes. "....I assume this is the fiendish ghoul you mentioned."

Hiro blinks before following his gaze. His eyes widen further. There, looking through the books, was Mukuro's ghost.

Gundham Tanaka can now hear you! He is open for questions!

A/N: I hope things arent getting too crazy lol. I promise everything has a purpose! Supernatural stuff is canon in Danganronpa, and its especially important in this AU, so please bare with me lmao

16 notes · View notes

rs-junk-drawer · 4 years ago

Note

Hey I just wanted to respond to you personally. I honestly wasnt aware of mixed origin systems being a thing. So you taught me something new. And I may just have had a different experience with the endo and DID community that you and the op of that post had. I also havent engaged recently and my experiences may be outdated, because when I was engaged I felt the hate was pretty equal on both sides. Im glad to know its discouraged as you said, thats hopeful.

And just wanted to say The questions wasnt meant as an attack I genuinely want to know how we can coexist and why there is such a rift in the two communities so your insight on the self defense against beliefs was helpful. So all in all thank you for your addition to the post.

Hi anon! Thank you so much for reaching out. Mixed origin systems are pretty common! We as a system are adaptive (all of us exist to handle external issues, but not always trauma) and identify as mixed origin, also known as polygenic & multigenic. Someone can be both traumagenic and endogenic, which puts them in a weird spot community-wise. If you wanna learn more about systems like this, check out this page! I can definitely see how the endogenic community has changed. Notably, the (albeit very rare) usage of terms like “traumascum” have left a stain on us. I don’t doubt your experiences one bit. A lot of endogenics are simply frustrated and exhausted of being told they are not real, which can be seen as aggressive (especially from the sysmed community, which has a history of vilifying endos based on very anecdotal and specific examples). Modern-day endogenic / parogenic friendly spaces are genuinely really kind, and can be a lot more welcoming to traumagenic systems than exclusively DID/OSDD-1 ones. (This is for many reasons: no “trauma requirement” attitudes or “you’re not traumatized enough” is a big one.) I mean... We were anti-endo, for quite a while. Back when we were questioning our multiplicity, all we wanted to do was be accepted and were drawn to medically-driven spaces. It felt nice to have a Big Book Of Knowledge say “you are valid”. We clung to those definitions and quietly fumed at the idea of folks “faking” it: we were suffering, and we hated to see people who claimed similar experiences having no problems or trauma at all. It took years of unlearning anti-endo propaganda to be where we are now. Between things like “fuck endos!” being programmed into bots for systems, being told all endos were teenagers wanting to be trendy in the wake of Split & DIDtube becoming popular, “cringe” content of AMAB parogenic systems with MLP headmates (which plays on a lot of autistic stereotypes and shit, which is even worse), etc, it was hard not to be suspicious of endogenics. I don’t blame you for not knowing how to heal the rift. It’s a question we all have. The best solution is just listening, and we appreciate wholeheartedly that we can all listen to each other. @merrilymultiple - Andy :)

8 notes · View notes

liberolove · 5 years ago

Text

Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app.

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period.

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed.

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio:

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe?

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled.

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders.

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying,

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number.

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

#liberolove writes #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #lblv.nishinoya

61 notes · View notes

sup-hoes-its-me · 5 years ago

Text

Mission (Bokuto x reader)

A/N: soooo ive been a depressed bitch and havent updated in months, sorry about that... I didnt even edit this, so beware typos ahead. Disabled reader x bokuto.

side note-if you guys think this is shit, just message me so i can delete it ✌✌

word count: 4435

Y/N sat in the gym on the sidelines, watching the team practice. Personally, she would never play. She was in a wheelchair, most likely for life. She hated it. She couldn’t play the game anymore.

Bokuto tried getting her to help him toss the ball, but she was too embarrassed to roll over and attempt setting. Whenever Bokuto asked her to play, Akaashi would whack him on the back of the head and tell her she could just watch if she wanted.

Akaashi understood her. He watched out for her, and she really appreciated that. But Bokuto was just too much fun.

Those two, Bokuto and Y/N, have been friends for a long time. She met him when she was five, having moved into the city, directly in the house beside his. Their parents set up dozens and dozens of playdates until they eventually began walking to school and eating lunch together and talking all the time.

Then, there was an accident and suddenly, she couldn't play anymore. Bokuto was sad she couldn't play with them. He asked her many times. But, she always said no, and she wanted to cry each time.

At the same time, Bokuto always defended her, keeping other people, ones that could be rude to her for her disability, off her back. He also spent a lot of time making her laugh like crazy on the sidelines. He would send her funny looks and stick out his tongue whenever any teammate spiked past him.

To this day, he made her so happy.

“Y/N! Y/N! Did you see that?!” he asked her excitedly, running over to her with the biggest smile on his face.

With a nod, a silly grin grew on her face. “Yeah. You did awesome as always, Bokuto-kun,” she praised him, which sent him into a sort of euphoric stage. He got so hyper. No one ever praised him, especially not Akaashi. Yet, she always did.

“I’m gonna go play again. I'll do even better this time, for you!” he exclaimed before turning on his heel and rushing back onto the court. He was the captain, so he could run on and off the court as he pleased. At first, his team got annoyed with him for it, for running to that girl all the time. After a while, they accepted it, believing that there was nothing that could stop him.

That was one more thing they admired about their ace and captain. He was incredibly loyal to his best friend, Y/N. In a decade of knowing each other, the number of fights they had could be counted on one hand. He walked her home, ate lunch with her everyday, sat beside her in nearly every class, and took her to every practice and game they had.

He didn't care that she was in a wheelchair. He never even thought about it. While other people brought it up, he smiled proudly at his strong, brave best friend. He’d seriously kick some ass if anyone harassed her, too.

And she watched all the games and practices too. She always cheered him on and praised him whenever he did well. If she did that, he worked even harder and got better. She loved going home with him, listening to him talk and laugh and tell the stupidest jokes you’ve ever heard.

She was so shy, but he brought out the best in her. He really, really did.

Practice came to a close after another hour. She made sure her bag was hung on one of the handles and her keys were in her pocket. Bokuto took a shower and got all his things together before he approached her, bouncing on his feet happily.

“Y/N, do you wanna get ice cream with Kuroo tonight?”

She grinned, nodding excitedly. She loved Kuroo too. He was funny and snarky, but equally as foolish as Bokuto whenever they got together. “Yeah! Just let me text my mom, okay?”

Quickly, she texted her mom to tell her she was going out for a little while with Bokuto. A minute later, her phone chimed. Her mother sent her a smiley face and a message saying, ‘be back by ten.’

Her mom was always nervous about her going out by herself, which was understandable. She trusted Bokuto though, and occasionally, she even let Kuroo take Y/N out to games. She’d known them for so long, it made her comfortable knowing her daughter was in good hands.

She pocketed her phone again. “She said it was okay. Let's go,” she cheered. He hung his book bag on the handle of her wheelchair before turning her around and pushing her toward the door.

“Bye, L/N-senpai!” Onaga called to her. She eagerly waved to him. A chorus of goodbyes rang out to her as she left. Everyone on the team liked her, genuinely. If they didn't, Bokuto would be furious. Fortunately, that never happened.

“Y/N, have you seen any good movies lately?”

“Not really.”

He nodded, a little hum in the back of his throat in agreement. “Yeah, there really isn't anything out right now, is there?” He always asked her about movies because she watched them all the time, mostly in class while she was on her phone...she wasn't exactly the best student.

She added, “But, I saw a movie, and the main character reminded me of you.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. He was super funny and really loud, and his hair stuck up just like yours.”

“Was he handsome?”

“Yep.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! That's even better, Y/N!”

She looked down at her hands in her lap, thinking of what to say next. She felt so awkward calling him handsome, just wanting to change the topic before he could say anything else.

“Training camp is coming up, right? At Nekoma?”

“Yep, yep. Next week.” He pushed her up on the sidewalk of the street, only about seven blocks away from the ice cream place they always went to. “Do you want to come and watch me practice?”

“Of course I do!”

“Awesome!”

She clasped her hands together and smiled shyly, her eyes trailing to her lap. “And I’ll get to meet everyone.”

He pouted, feverishly shaking his head. “No! All those guys will like you too much! They’ll take you away from me! Gah!” he cried, his mood dropping pathetically in a moment.

Comfortingly, she placed a soft hand on his and shook her head subtly. “Are you kidding? You’re the bestest friend in the entire world. None of those guys could ever replace you,” she told him, giving his hand a gentle pat.

“Yeah, but you always get so excited when we hang out with Kuroo…” he continued to mope despite her assurance.

She only rolled her eyes. “That's because Kuroo is a good friend. I don't have that many friends, you know?”

“Why do you need a lot of friends when you have me?”

“You are definitely a handful. Enough for me,” she mumbled, turning back around in her seat. She could see the familiar sign of the cute little ice cream parlor. It wasn't anything like some ice cream bars from the convenience store, it was thick creamy goodness covered in whatever toppings she wanted. Sometimes, she worried about getting chubby when she went there too often.

Still, no matter what she said, Bokuto was irked. Truthfully, he worried that Kuroo would steal Y/N away from him. He was taller and handsome and funny and really cool sometimes. Cooler than him…

“You okay, Bokuto-kun?”

He jumped out his thoughts at the sound of her sweet voice. “Yeah. Yep, I'm totally good.” That sounded fake as hell, but okay.

She pushed open the door to the store with her arm and they entered. It was cold in there, but really pleasant. It smelled like a wonderland of sweets, her favorite guilty pleasure. The cashier, a sweet young man, called to her and Bokuto over the counter.

“Hey, L/N-san, Bokuto-san!” He waved to them both.

“Hi, Kiku! We're just waiting for Kuroo.”

“Okay then. Just tell me when you're ready!”

Just then, the door flew open and the captain entered, his hair even messier from the wind outside. Y/N giggled, waving at him shyly. “You look so weird, Kuroo!” she confessed when he approached.

His brows furrowed, and he sent her a judging look. Nevertheless, he still leaned down for his hug. He always hugged her, claiming he found her positively adorable. “L/N, its been a while.”

“Kuroo, we just saw you last Wednesday,” she whined. He stepped back, and grinned down at her.

“Sup, Brokuto,” he nodded to his friend who waved back, muttering out a greeting. He didn't know why but, he was burning with jealousy. Why did Kuroo have to hug her all the time? And why was she always giggling around him? It frustrated him to no end.

She was only supposed to hug him and smile when he told jokes, and giggle like some stupid schoolgirl when he did something cute. He kept hanging out with Kuroo, but it still irritated him anyway.

“Bokuto, are you sure you're okay?” she asked him, concern lacing her words. Her soft fingers once again rested upon his own, and it knocked him from his jealous thoughts.

He nodded, pushing her over to the counter where Kuroo was already getting his chocolate ice cream, like he got every time. He paid for the cup, knowing the exact change by now. Kiku then looked down at Y/N.

Same thing as always. “Vanilla with cherries, please.”

“And you, Bokuto?”

He thought for a second, not that it really mattered. “Uh, I'll just have the same thing,” he replied simply. There was a small hum of affirmation as the boy scooped up two cups of ice cream and spooned on the candy cherries.

Bokuto pulled out six hundred yen, handing it to Kiku behind the counter. Meanwhile, Y/N grabbed the ice cream from the counter, one cup in her right hand and the other in her left.

They always sat at the small table by the window, two seats across from each other and a big space in the middle for Y/N to sit at. Kuroo was already there, munching on his ice cream.

“Kuroo, you should have seen Bokuto-kun today! He was so amazing. He didn't mess up once, and he did this amazing quick set with Akaashi!” she explained, proceeding to spoon ice cream into her mouth. She sent a happy smile to Bokuto, causing him to grin proudly. He was pretty awesome if his little Y/N thought so.

“As good as me though?” Kuroo joked.

“Aw, Kuroo, you know I can't answer that. You both are so good!”

Why couldn't she answer that? Bokuto was her best friend in the entire world. She always told him he was the best ace in the whole prefecture. Kuroo wasn't even an ace. So why couldn't she just say he was better?

Then again, she always did like Kuroo more than him. She thought he was so cool…

Kuroo piped up, just as Bokuto was about to try and tell a joke. His smile was quick to dissolve though.“Hey, Y/N, can I have a cherry?” he asked, eyeing her cup.

She shrugged and lifted out one of the vibrantly red cherries by the stem. She held it out for him to take, only he just leaned forward and bit off the cherry right off the stem between her finger tips. A smirk grew on his lips as he watched her cheeks turn a bright red, and her to quickly look down at her ice cream.

That was so weird.

It made Bokuto furious.

He stood up abruptly, and all eyes rose to his figure. He tried playing it off though. “I almost forgot. Kuroo, I have to talk to you about...volleyball stuff. Let's go outside.”

“But-”

“Sorry, Y/N-chan. This is some serious business. We’ll be back in a minute, I promise,” he told her, a single hand tapping her on the head. She rolled her eyes and nodded at his gesture.

Bokuto then forcibly yanked Kuroo outside with him, making sure the door was shut before totally losing his cool. “Dude, what the hell? Stop flirting with her.”

Kuroo sighed, shaking his head. “Come on, Bro. You know I'm only joking around.” His words meant absolutely nothing to Bokuto, who was angry, but mainly just dejected and sad.

He didn't understand why this was all happening. Why his friend was flirting with his crush. Why his childhood friend, best friend, and future girlfriend, was blushing and giggling around his other friend. He didn't like any of it, and his heart hurt.

“No! I really, really like her! She's my soulmate! If you keep doing that kinda stuff, she's gonna like you instead!” he exclaimed, his fists releasing at his sides. He felt terrible, like his life was being stolen from him, life being Y/N. He might even cry.

Kuroo sighed, shaking his head once again. He was being jealous for no reason at all. If only he would listen and quit being so ignorant. “She'd be nuts if she liked me when she already has you.”

“Huh?”

“You're the only guy ever who has loved her through everything. You take care of her. You push her around all day, and bring her to all your games, and you buy her ice cream all the damn time. You walk her home, you make her laugh, and you kick ass whenever someone makes fun of her,” Kuroo explained. “She’s crazy if she doesn't love you.”

He shuffled, feeling let down still. “She only sees me as her best friend.”

Kuroo placed his hands on the guys shoulder firmly. He looked at him completely seriously and practically commanded, “Well, you have to change that! Make her fall in love with you!”

“I can do that?!”

“Hell yeah, bro!” he cheered. “Mission: Make L/N Y/N fall in love with you.” That's what they called it. They decided that the plan would commence on Monday. By now, Bokuto was desperate; he needed Y/N to love him back because he can't imagine a day in his life without seeing her.

But he failed to realize one thing. Their plan was completely pointless.

________________________

Monday. The day he would make Y/N fall in love with him. He woke up that morning and brushed his hair, making sure it looked really good, slick and charming. He chewed a ton of gum, just to make sure his breath stayed minty even after brushing his teeth. He even went so far as wearing the uniform correctly with the tie and all. Normally, he only wore the shirt and blazer.

He left the house with a smile on his face and walked up the sidewalk to her door. He knocked a couple times until her mother opened the door. “Koutarou-kun, you're early today,” she hummed. “You look quite handsome today, too. Did you do something with your hair?”

“Yep! Thank you, L/N-san,” he said with a nod of his head. He was relieved to hear her say he looked good. He needed to look his best for Y/N.

Behind her mother, the girl wheeled over with her bag in her lap. She looked adorable, as always. Her hair was perfect, and her face was bashful with those red cheeks and cute smile. She was an angel, and he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be as attractive as her.

“Bye, you two. Have a good day at school.” her mother said, moving out of the way so Y/N could roll outside. Bokuto waved to the woman as she shut the door. From there, he took the handles of her chair and started down the ramp.

When they were on the sidewalk, her voice made him pause. “Bokuto, come here,” she told him, waving for him to stand in front of her. She scanned his figure with scrutiny, noticing every little detail that was off about him that morning.

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “What-”

“You look so weird today. Why’d you do that to your hair?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, puzzled. It didn't look good in her eyes, only strange and uncomfortable.

He flushed, not expecting those words from her. He thought she would be impressed. “Get down here.” He leaned down and immediately felt her hands running through his hair. She hummed as she did so, making sure that all the spikes were back in order. Then, when she was done with that, her hands went to his tie. She slipped it from his neck. “Now you look like the Bokuto I love,” she laughed with a smile on her perfect lips.

His cheeks flared, and he hurried back behind her, pushing her along. He tried his best to hide his fluster, but she was too much for him to handle. She said she loved him, sure, it wasn't anything romantic, only friendly, but she still said it. His heart soared in his chest, and he felt like he could fly.

Wait...he was supposed to be making her feel that way. His plan was already failing. He would have to step up his game.

Swiftly, despite his nerves, he swooped down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. It lingered for only half a second before he pulled away. His cheeks were even brighter now, whereas hers failed to change color at all. Was she not embarrassed at all? He just kissed her and she didn't care.

Why?!

“Gosh, that's new,” she giggled, pressing her fingertips to her cheek. “What was that for?”

“Because you're so cute.” Beautiful. Funny. Adorable. Sweet. Kind. Brave. Perfect. He would list all those things and even more, if only he wasn’t such a coward.

He, at least, expected a reaction to that but she only smiled and shook her head. “You’re too much, Bokuto.” Not a blush, not a shake in her voice, nothing.

He was failing, dammit.

The walk to school was short, mostly because he was thinking of ways to woe Y/N. There were so many thoughts in his head that he thought could work, but this girl was unfazed and he didn't know if he even had a chance of getting a reaction, much less evoking love.

Classes went by quickly as well, mostly because he couldn't focus at all. Multiple times, he was scolded by his teachers for not doing his work. And when he took her to practice, he couldn't even say anything. He just pouted and dragged his feet.

She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she knew he wouldn't tell her the truth. Something about him was just so off today.

And then she sat on the sidelines, watching everyone play. She said nothing, she couldn't. Bokuto kept messing up. He hit the ball into the net four times, and he kept spiking the ball out of the box. He wasn't his normal self, and it was hurting the team today.

Eventually, he shouted, voice pained and anguished, “Don't pass to me anymore! I’m a terrible ace!” His head dropped and he walked off the court, and called for a five minute break. Then, he went to sulk in the corner.

Akaashi walked over to Y/N, who was sitting on the side biting at her nails nervously. She’d never seen Bokuto mess up this badly. It was making her anxious. Something must have happened to him to make him this upset. It was even more concerning that he wouldn't tell her what was wrong. He always vented to her.

The boy looked down at her boredly. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I don't know! Ever since this morning, he’s been upset, but he won't tell me!” she cried, dramatically pressing her face into her hands. “I’m so worried about him!”

“Hmm, that's strange,” Akaashi muttered. He sent a look to the captain, who was still sulking, but this time, he was sneakily staring at his two friends. He tried to hide it by keeping his head down, but it was obvious his eyes were glued on them.

She mumbled, oblivious to his gaze, “I don't know what to do.”

“Yell at him. Say something to make him feel better. You've been pretty quiet all practice, you know.” He placed a hand on her shoulder with a small pat.

She lifted her head, mustering up some courage and her voice. He was right. Her encouragement always brought him out of his dejection mode. “Kou-kun! You can do it! You're the best ace in the whole world!” she yelled to him. “I believe in you!”

Immediately, he perked up. His hair seemed like it spiked up higher with his happiness. It was so cute. His cheeks turned red, and he turned around, approaching the court.

Akaashi knew what was going on. He didn't say anything, but he did send her a quiet, “good job” under his breath. Damn, those two, so in love with each other it made him want to throw up.

The practice continued after that, and just as she said, he did so much better. All his spikes were amazing. He was back in the game. Her heart beat faster, excited that her simply words could make him feel so much better.

When he performed a particularly strong and amazing spike, he screamed. He ran across the court to Y/N, grabbing her hands tightly and shaking them. His expression was begging for praise, and she would give him some...right after he released her hands. “Bokuto, your hands are sweaty.”

The smile on his face faltered. Damn, rejected once again.

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird all day…”

“No! I’m not okay!” he shouted, almost theatrically. He turned his head, his eyes shut and his cheeks puffed out in a strong pout. She raised a hand to touch his arm, but he only stepped away, huffing.

She frowned, biting her lip. Was he upset this whole time because of her? She didn't think she'd done anything wrong, but with Bokuto, it could be one of the littlest things to set him off. It made her so incredibly sad.

She asked tentatively, her words just barely a whisper. “What’s wrong?”

He said nothing though. He only ducked his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fine! Don’t tell me! Talk to stupid Akaashi instead!” she yelled him, turning her head away from him as well, arms crossed and cheeks in a pout. Akaashi, in the distance, sighed. He wasn't even offended, just fucking exhausted. This entire argument was ridiculous.

Bokuto wanted to maintain the silent treatment, but he couldn't. He felt like his mouth was gonna burst open and his mind was going to explode with all the self-deprecating things bouncing around in there.

“Why do you like Kuroo more than me?!” he questioned, sending her a glare. “What makes him so special that you have a crush on him?” He said it. He finally said it.

So much for that plan. It was out the window and burning now.

Why the hell had he come to that conclusion? In no way, ever, would she like Kuroo. If that was what Bokuto was upset about all day, then he was a complete dumbass. “I don't have a crush on Kuroo, Bokuto! Why the hell would you think that?”

“Because you always hug him and laugh at his jokes and flirt with him and giggle and do all that stuff when he's around!”

“You dumbass, I do those same things around you too. I’d never let Kuroo kiss me, you know? I wouldn't fix his hair if he changed it, because I don't care about him or how he looks. You know who I care about?” She looked right at him as if challenging him to say anything other than the right answer. “You. I thought that was obvious!”

“Well, I care about you a lot more, Y/N. You're my favorite person ever, and I don't want anybody taking you away from me,” he exclaimed. “Not Kuroo, not Akaashi, no one!”

“No one's ever gonna do that, Bokuto. I told you that. You're all I need!”

“Why don't you love me then?!” he blurted out without thinking. “I love you so much, and I thought you knew. How did you not notice, Y/N? How can you not love me back?” That was embarrassing, but he couldn't go back on it now. Maybe he just ruined everything...He didn't know.

But he sure did feel like a total disaster.

She gaped at him. He was always up front, but he never said something like that. Was that why he kissed her this morning? Did he fix his hair and uniform just for her? Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought.

She loved Bokuto. Everyone on the planet knew she loved him, just not him.

Stupid.

“Come here, you crazy birdbrain,” she ordered, waving him closer. He was so tall, so tall that she hated the difference. But when he leaned down, she could reach him just fine. Gently, she placed both her cold hands on his cheeks before yanking him against her. For such a small girl, she was strong.

Her lips smashed to his. She kissed him with her eyes squeezed shut and her lips pressed together. It was so awkward and clumsy, since it was her first kiss after all.

His eyes remained open, wide and shocked. Y/N was kissing him. His soulmate was finally kissing him. He felt like he was in a dream. He placed his hands on the arm rests of her chair to keep himself steady. Suddenly, his legs felt so shaky he might fall over.

She pulled away and just stared at him. “I love you, stupid,” she told him firmly. His shocked open mouthed gap quickly turned into a wild, ecstatic grin. He jumped back, throwing both his fists in the air, falling to his knees, and proceeding to screech.

Y/N stifled her laughter with her hand. He was just too cute. Her eyes scanned the room, seeing all the members of the team watching in amusement. Everyone knew they would get together one of these days.

Even Kuroo.

#bokuto koutarou #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu one shot #writing #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #handicap reader #disabled reader #possible trigger warning?

87 notes · View notes

urcharactersclasspect · 4 years ago

Note

Psst. Can I get some more details about Nazz and Jonny being Bards of Heart? That's a really interesting take imo!

Boy do YOU have an ESSAY to read

As a disclaimer, Ed Edd n Eddy isnt really a very deep show- Theres just tidbits of something deeper sometimes you can gather about the cul de sac and the kids we focus on in the show. Ive watched through the show from episode 1 to Eddy's movie and the last episode. But its been a hot second since Ive been a kid myself and I havent really sat down to watch it in a long time tbh.

Another disclaimer is, even though they share a godtier does not mean they will have the same personality! Since Personality by itself pretty much is not as relevant to classpects as much as how the aspects seem to bend around the person in question as they grow and delevoped. That being said..This is gonna be a long ass read. Im so sorry. I have THOUGHTS on everything.

For Nazz, throughout the show we see her literally making almost every boy in the Cul De Sac crush on her, she has no confirmed feelings until the last movie, where she and kevin want to date. Unlike most heart players in canon and the ones I have met or seen good protrayals of, i dont think she has unrequited feelings and we clearly see as much, but it sure does give me the same energy as Dirk's frequant troubles to just finally spit out his feelings for Jake through extreme indirect means, and how Heart players are actually way better at controlling how or showing how they really feel waaaay more than people give them credit for- This isn't to imply heart players are Emotionless and never show emotion, but Heart players are firmly NOT all sweethearts who are innocent, do no wrongs and are definitely not always bubbly fangirls like Meulin- Hell, even Meulin isn't really probably being honest with her own feelings on things either. On the contrary, they can be very intense with what they are passionate about whether it be romantic or just an interest of theirs. And usually, like Dirk, they are very self aware of that fact. So they sometimes try to hold back things about themselves they are all too aware of. Sometimes to a detriment, but not always. For Dirk, its his emotions in general he tries to keep to himself. For Meulin its likely her resentment of her team members and holding back her anger at Kurloz or maybe even her feelings for Kurloz still being there.

For the Bard part of her classpect, its the idea that Bards Mirror their opposite. The thing about Nazz is shes actually very responsible! Often giving an air of being very well put together for a kid to the rest of the cul de sacs kids and cool headed more times than not. Its part of the charm. Of her acting cool and casual- And just how she behaves regularly like nothing bothers her, but sometimes you can tell it does or just might (almost like a passive ghost of hpow Dirk acts). You learn over time shes actually very smart, too; she gets very good grades, is a model student who cheerleads, and even was seen as responsible enough by the parents of the cul-de-sac to babysit Eddy. Which definitely says something, I think. This is usually how we see Mind Players- Dirk being so cool headed but only the surface is too. Since its the stereotype at this point that Mind players are the calm ones (which I have my own opinions on too but thats another essay for another time).

DESPITE this chill and responsible facade on the surface, Nazz has SEVERAL times shown some genuine Heart player impulsiveness or thinking with her heart on a sleeve. She allows Edd into her bathroom without even thinking about it, even when it wasn't cleaned up. You see how she acts on emotion like humouring Edd a lot through the show even by kissing him at one point and dancing with him even when it wasnt the popular thing to do, she humours Kevin but lectures him for his own impulsiveness on pure anger towards the Edds frequantly, passively destroying someone elses impulses and making him think before he acts a little more; In spite of this too, she also can get violent towards the Edds herself and irritable when things dont go her way, and we even learn Nazz for all her coolness and popularity, still has insecurities shes VERY emotional about- her hair being one. Much like Dirk does about this or that. Im sure theres further proof to get what Im saying across, but Im rambling as is. So thats where Ill end that tirade, I think it REALLY fits Nazz. So theres my conclusion.

For Jonny 2x4. Its easier to tell you why I think it fits him, and Id say its for far more obvious reasons when you really get down to it. Hes probably an example of a Bard that simply hasn't learned how to gauge his aspect very well in every day life, leading to him becoming more of an annoyance to those around him much like how you see Cronus or Gamzee be treated. Someone who hasn't quite "gotten it" yet. I don't think this is nessasarily because Jonny is stupid though, at least maybe not as stupid as he makes himself out to be, since hes shown to definitely have some intellegience, more like its because hes Younger (theres no direct ages we know of?), but he does act a lot younger than Nazz so thats my best assumption, and hes also in a seperate enviroment from Nazz, who I personally see as a far healthier Bard for reasons I'll be getting into in a minute here. just know. Jonny has similiarities to Nazz with how the Heart aspect bends around him; Theres too many instances to count where hes just being impulsive but he tries to come across as braver or calmer than he really is. But if I admitted all of them for Jonny, we'd be here all day long and you'd be reading even MORE.

Lets just go with the obvious signs outside those then.

Jonny is a very lonely kid. This is similiar to Dirk too; Jonny is never seen with any genuine friends except his attempts to befriend the Edds, as stated before some kids in the cul-de-sac consider him to be an annoyance due to his own impulsiveness, and this because hes a very socially awkward kid because even in his own home theres rather dark implications of Child Nelgect or something happening. Even the Creator of the show states this interesting quote in an interveiw: "He'd be more or less thrown out the door at 9am and only let back in when it got dark or if it was time to eat. He had an imaginary friend. " Hes that lonely kid who was so lonely and felt so much so he had to resort to Imaginary friends, imposing an identity to an object that seemingly has a similiar personality to his own or a personality that meshes well enough for them to "get along" and to not get along sometimes- this is seen constantly with Jonny talking to Plank. Jonny sometimes disgrees with the morality of Plank, but hes also best friends with Plank and if I remember correctly, Jonny even says at point they are as close as brothers- PLank knows him more than he knows himself, as Jonny says. Sometimes Plank suggests even illegal things - things a little kid like Jonny (supposedly) wouldn't know about or do himself. Almost like Jonny knows weird things from listening to his parents and imposed them onto Plank, making Plank "real" so Jonny could stay in his own head and pretendHE doesn't know anything. If that makes sense. Much in the same manner as Dirk having conversations of various focuses with HAL and objects he himself has inputted his will or rather - his Soul and Heart onto.

Thinking about this some more. I think an arguement could be made that Jonny isn't actually a Bard of Heart, but maybe a Bard of MIND. But IM not so sure.

If i think of anything more to add to this, I might revisit my thoughts on it later and reblog or edit it more.

#long post //#bard of heart #Classpecting #ed edd n eddy #jonny 2x4 #nazz van bartonshmeer #classpect analysis

10 notes · View notes

lemonietrinket · 5 years ago

Text

No Fear ||| Shownu x Reader

Genre: corny Fluff, my attempts at humour Warning(s): None Word Count: 1269 AN: Happy Birthday Shownu! Inspired by of course my man’s inhuman lack of reactions to anything scary. He must feel so safe to be with though, like, no one nor thing would mess with you if he was there. Even spiders would run away in fear. And he’d be able to comfort you with those big arms of his and hold you close and secure... ok I’m getting carried away Written for a short YN. Hope you enjoy!

~~~

Strange laughter echoed throughout the park from the Haunted House you and your boyfriend just exited. Usually the leader in the relationship you resigned yourself the backseat that time, clutching Shownu’s waist as if your life depended on it, while you desperately tried to ignore the off-putting shrieks around you.

You couldn’t remember why you’d even suggested the Haunted House anyway.

As you’d trundled through the dark, shrieking at every shifting shadow and unnerving whisper that had you not been in the vicinity of you would immediately write off as not even believable, you couldn’t understand how your boyfriend was so unfazed by everything that the staff had to throw at him.

Chainsaws received nothing. Ghosts received no reaction either. Creepy dead bodies that only moved when you could see them in your peripheral? Not even a second glance.

It was just as well that the rooms had been dark otherwise you would have had Shownu’s little smile to contend with, on top of the sudden werewolves that jumped out and gave you a very near heart attack. Your boyfriend in question had spent his whole time in the attraction giggling at your shrieks of terror quietly to himself while, in the same breath, rubbing your back as you burrowed your head into his chest mumbling ‘it’s alright, you’re safe’. He wouldn’t admit it without you bringing it up first, but he did get a kick out of being a protector for you of sorts. You rarely needed caring for like that, and he was very glad you had enough sense (it meant more coddling for him and like was he going to turn that down? No) to not get yourself in trouble too often, but he couldn’t help but enjoy it on the occasion you did need some security, even in a somewhat silly situation like this. It showed that you trusted him, and that his embrace to you was the safest place to be. And the fact that you sounded adorable squeaking in fright at the strange witch that threw open her hut’s door.

Nevertheless, when you finally felt the light of the late afternoon sun on your face (after Shownu had offered a polite thank you to the bootleg Kruger acting as one final scare) you broke away from your vice-like grip you had on your man and soaked up the sun.

“Thank god it’s over,” you breathed.

“You’re the one that wanted to go in,” Shownu reminded, straightening his cap as he smiled at your stretched arms. So cute, he thought.

You scoffed. “Pssh, I was not! You wanted to go in there, so you could show off your frankly demonic immunity to scary things!” You narrowed your eyes at the man who merely gazed back down at you with a cute grin. “How are you never afraid? Of anything? At all?”

He shrugged. “It’s clearly fake.”

“I know but still! No prank, no jump-scare, no spider... nothing can get you!” you pouted. “You’re so weird.”

“So are you,” Shownu retorted, coming to your side once again and slotting his hand at your waist. You huffed at him but regardless slipped your arm round him too. It always made him smile at how far you couldn’t reach around him, but how you were never deterred.

Making your gradual way throughout the funfair, bright melodies bubbling across the breeze through the gushes of screams from high above, you discussed where to go next. Finally deciding on making your way to the other side of the park instead for dinner, you piped up, “Why are you so unafraid, Nunu?”

He glanced down, his eyes briefly meeting yours as he readjusted your necklace. The clasp had made its way to meet the pendant—a small emblem the colour of your birthstone that he’d gotten you for your birthday the year before—so he gently eased it to the back of your neck once again. Wordlessly, he let his finger brush your chin as he moved away once again. He was buying himself some time to think, evident by how his brow furrowed as it always did when he was deep in thought, and so you waited patiently.

His eyes met the sky and then the flurry of a roller coaster as it went by off to the side before returning to yours. “Because there are much worse things that are then much scarier.”

You nodded at his take. You wished you could just tell yourself that it wasn’t worth being scared of fake spiders and then just not be afraid anymore. You chuckled at the thought, realising what little use that would be, as that was Shownu’s job after all. Shrugging, you leant into his chest, enquiring simply, “Like what?”

He looked at you then and it became apparent that he had an answer to that one right away—he was always an open book after all. But it took him a few seconds to reply, taking the moment to inhale deeply before parting his lips.

“Losing you.” His words were quick and quiet, as if he didn’t want the world to hear them, just in case he jinxed it, but you heard him. They were so corny too, but the pink of his ears indicated genuine sincerity and you couldn’t deny the swell of your heart and the faint blush that rose to your cheeks.

His other hand brushed through your hair lightly, tucking it behind your ear so he could thumb your cheek for a few moments, before he got too shy and pulled away once again.

Breathing in the scent of food, he cleared his throat. “I think I see a hotdog stand over there, do you want that or something else?”

It likely appeared that you were mulling over your food choice, but really you were still two steps behind, Shownu’s words repeating in your head. You’d been together for a long time, and so there was really no doubt that he loved you, but this added a whole new layer of depth.

You brought the two of you to a stop in the midst of your already snail-pace amble, accidentally ignoring his question and softly asserted, “I promise I’m not going anywhere,” before standing on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his cheek.

He was caught off-guard slightly, but managed to hold himself together, threading his fingers through your hair once again as he smiled and let his forehead meet yours. He didn’t care if he had to bend down, he was just happy to peck your nose, helping you stretch the little extra distance to meet his lips. He caressed your neck, down past your shoulders and to the small of your back while your eyes fluttered closed. His touch was chaste, always treating you with care that you always appreciated, and you ran your fingers up his jaw before settling at the nap of his neck.

Eventually you parted, you opting to fall back onto the soles of your feet and laying your head flat against his broad chest. However, that peace did not last either, as Shownu carefully ushered you into a walk once again. Of course, how could you have forgotten.

“Yeah alright, I get it, food is still more important,” you giggled, rolling your eyes at how food-motivated he could really be and laughing harder as he half-heartedly tried to cover, “christ, you really think with your stomach don’t you.”

Once again tucking you into his side, Shownu gave you a squeeze. “I love you so much.”

You sighed, a content smile drifting onto your lips. “I love you too, dork.”

~~~

AN: i feel i havent written any monsta x in forever :(( im sorry bebes ill try and write more :((

i also didnt call him hyunwoo for the soul reason that nunu became a viable nickname bc

is that not the cutest nickname ever?

Masterlist

25 notes · View notes