#but the specifics will probably always elude us

[kaylor]

Some of your posts have me wondering about “kaylor divorce”… in your mind, what went down? Like, I think all I know is Karlie didn’t show up for T in 2016… “not a twin from your dreams, she’s a crook who was caught”… 🤔

i don't know!!! we may never know!! but they had an undefined something going on at some point or various points and a subsequent toxic gay divorce and that's all that matters!!!!

[sapphossparenoterbook]

I think Rio Vidal (Death) x an god of chaos reader (not chaos magic just a god entity of chaos) would be funny. Maybe something like probability/luck manipulation and so when people enviably die/get killed death has to come clean it up. But death cant touch the reader because of said probability manipulation.

Basically giving death a show and a run for her money. Maybe this takes place in Salem when Agatha kills her entire damn coven and reader is just sitting back and watching the BS unfold

First Day Jitters

Death!Rio x Goddess of Chaos!Reader

You’d been following this one particular chaos witch for a while now, she learnt the ways to channel chaos energy particularly quickly for someone of such a young age, and it was clear that she was fueled by something that eludes you. Anyway, as the god of chaos, you decide to keep an eye on this witch, Agatha Harnkess, to see where she would end up, and how quickly she’d be able to master your branch of magic. 

As you observe the girl more and more, through shapeshifting as mice in her bedroom, or, on your lazier days, getting one of your familiars to follow her around and report back to you, it becomes abundantly clear that she is fueled by her mother’s genuine hatred towards her. It’s terrible, and it makes you want to reach out, to comfort the girl that is oh so much like you, or maybe to direct her through darker paths of magic so that she can contact you herself. But, alas, you never get the chance to. 

The girl’s mother, Evanora Harkness, a witch that liked to act as though she was much kinder than she really was, had always been searching for a way to get rid of her own daughter, and now here it is; the chaos magic. 

That’s why you’re now here, in Salem, in your true form and lurking beyond the tree line near the clearing where the witches plan to execute the girl. The girl from their own coven. Of course, all of these women have daughters who have done much worse things, broken much more important rules-but Agatha’s mother? She didn’t care, she just wanted her daughter gone. And she was willing to be incredibly hypocritical towards her own coven to do this. 

You’re wearing one of your nicer outfits, a long dark purple cloak to keep you warm, an old dress you’d fixed a few times over the years, and a few trinkets you’d been gifted throughout the ages as offerings by your more religious following. After the rise of Norse myths, sweeping what thoseidiotic Asgardians would call “Midgard”, a lot of your trusted disciples jumped ship to follow Loki, instead, but you still adorn yourself with the trinkets of your most loyal subjects. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. 

Your phasing out had meant that you missed quite a big part of this execution and all, but you caught yourself at the best time. Just as the witches say their last piece, they all blast their magic towards Agatha at once. 

Now, of course, you are known by the other gods to enjoy a dabble in manipulating probability to aid the more interesting types of people before you were satisfied with one’s particular ‘end’, and Agatha’s story is definitely not over,not for you at least. No witch, especially not a witch at such a young age, would have enough power to not instantaneously die at this many blasts of magic hitting them at once, but as Agatha Harkness screamed and yelled out in pain, wailing for her mother to stop, you felt yourself using your powers to change the odds. 

You’d not tapped into this specific power much in the last few years, but changing the odds of a situation was never a very hard thing to do, and it’s always been so amazingly entertaining when seeing the shock on people’s faces. You give Agatha a much more increased chance of surviving the blast, and to be fair to the girl, she does the rest. 

You can tell that she knows she should be dead, but the decision is made quickly as you watch the blue magic turn purple, and the life energy of this coven gets completely drained and sucked out of them by one of their own. The one that they betrayed first. 

There are screams, cries, pleas for mercy, and a few “Help me!”s before Miss Harkness is the last witch standing. You get the urge to stride up to her,congratulate her on her quick thinking and great magical ability, but she runs off pretty quickly after taking her mother’s brooch. You huff, come out from the treeline anyway, and then a wide smirk comes over your face as you remember who is going to have to clean all of this mess and chaos up now that all of these people are dead. 

You start rushing around a bit, your purple magic flying everywhere as you mess with the murder scene. You’ve heard that this girl is totally hardcore, and you always like one upping other gods and spiritual entities. It doesn’t occur to you that anyone else who finds this once Death is done will think that it was Agatha Harkness that did all of these terrible thighs to these women, as you use your magic to slash at their throats, telling their blood splatter and spill. 

You start cackling just as a surge of green magic conjures up Rio Vidal herself, the new and improved Death, since the last guy retired after getting bored of the screams whenever he appeared. He’s an angel now, rescuing puppies. Quite a drastic career change. 

You hear the new girl groan under her breath. “This has Y/N written all over it…” She mumbles out exasperated, not noticing you just yet. 

Yep, you needed to give this new girl, Rio, a show somehow. Didn’t you?

“Well of course it was” You say, “That perfectly innocent girl was in trouble-all because she wanted to try out my magic!” 

“You know that it was so much more than that! She’d been trying to find the Darkhold, she’s dangerous. And now by the look of things, she’s much more dangerous.” The green witch practically whined out at you, clearly trying to get you to see reason, but you’d just kept laughing and giggling at her. 

“Ohhh, c’mon! Just live a little, Death girl! Also, I have a whole fucking chapter in the Darkhold written about me. AAANNDD, it was written by one of my followers ABOUT chaos magic. God, new girl… get with the program.” You said to her, all while still giggling as she slowly starts to walk around the circle of dead witches, moving away from you and away from the pyre that these witches had strapped Agatha to.

“Besides, I know you knew what I was gonna do, Rio, or you would’ve been here way earlier in time to just grab the girl’s body before anything would’ve gone down. You gave me like… 10 extra minutes to operate in–I was bored.” You say, walking the different way around the circle of witches so that you eventually meet in the middle, facing each other. You have to keep the smug smile off of your face so that the girl doesn’t realise that you’re just playing with her like this so that she stays longer. 

You definitely notice the way that she blushes a little at the continued eye contact, and the way she brushes past you, purposefully making her fingers brush against you as she walks past, inspecting more of the dead witches. Now she’s the one killing time and finding excuses to stay. 

“Did you really have to do all of this?!” She says, suddenly getting angry, spinning right back around, and getting all up in your face. 

“Of course I did, how else am I supposed to greet the new girl? Do you just love it..?” You ask teasingly, and she genuinely growls at you in anger. It’s going to take her a long time to wrangle all of these souls in, and a few of them might be in purgatory and try to stay behind. 

“I hate it– I hate you! I could just–igh!” Rio impulsively reaches out to try and choke you, grabbing you by the throat, but long ago you had put a spell on you so that the probability was always in your favour in attacks like this, and so Rio could not lay a finger on you unless she found a loophole to said spell.  The incantation had been difficult, a worrisome thing to develop, but it still saved your skin in times like this to this day. So, there Rio stands, with two hands around your neck but being unable to squeeze down, which only frustrates her further. 

“Ugh! C’mon! You’re such a pussy, of course you don’t go around without a protection spell. Gods like you always fucking do! Doing my goddamn head in!” She angrily spits the words out at you like venom, hoping to at least rile you up if she can’t hurt you. 

“Awww, that’s cute, Rio. So so cute, not strong enough to squeeze down on my neck and choke me out? Are you sure that you’re the right choice for Death..?”

“I hate you, with a burning passion. I can’t wait for the day I get to drag you down to hell and watch you burn in my new lava pits’”

“Mmm, that’s not what you said last night… y’know, when I was actually at hell, and that was a perfectly viable option…” You say in a teasing tone, pinching at the wrist of the hand that she’s left lingering around your neck as you wrap your whole hand around hers. “I actually remember you not wanting me to get out of bed this morning… no mentions of the lava pits and pools then, huh?”

Rio’s face ultimately goes bright red with blush, she wasn’t very good at mixing home with work, and so being reminded of the time they spent together that morning, as a witty remark, was easily making her flustered. “Baby…” She whines at you, embarrassed at how you’d brought that up, “I don’t wanna talk about that… You’ve made this place so messy, and it’s so many people compared to the one I was expecting…”

“You’re going to be late home tonight, aren’t you..?” You ask, hinting at what she was alluding to pretty well. 

“Yeah…” she says with a pout, “And it’s all your fault, too… on date night, as well!” Rio says, and slaps your ass as a tease. There it is, that loophole for your protective probability spell… 

You smile and tug at her hand that’s still resting on your neck, it’s much more relaxed now and her already weakened hold has loosened to a soft touch on your collarbone rather than your neck. “I’ll bite you if you aren’t careful, hon”

“That’s a bit out there, a slight tad crazy!” She says with a teasing smile, smug as she rubs her thumb along your slightly protruding collarbone. 

“The whole point of like… me, is to be chaotic. Idiot” You say to her, and flick her shoulder. 

“Oh yeah… sorry, I forget, with how relaxed you are at home, desperate to just lay down in one spot with me and cuddle.” 

Your smug smile devolves into a much softer one, that’s usually reserved for home, and after leaving a kiss on her cheek, you say: 

“I’m sorry for creating such a mess, honey. I just wanted to put on a big show for you on your first day and all. Wanted to do something special…” 

You say, and if anyone had seen you there, surrounded by blood and dead bodies from Agatha Harkness’ wrath, then they’d think you were both completely crazy, talking to each other so sweetly, and also so proudly about the state of the bodies around you. But hey, that is after all, the only way to show off for Death.

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Friends...for now

Summary: Unable to sleep, you slip out of camp for a breath of fresh air and find Astarion struggling to tend to his wounds.

No matter how many times you toss and turn, sleep continues to elude you. Staring up at the ceiling of your tent, you groan in annoyance at the throbbing sting of the wound in your arm and sit up, checking the bandages. The blood hasn’t soaked through the cloth, so the sting is probably from the medicine Halsin applied earlier to accelerate the healing but it doesn’t make the feeling less annoying. It does make you less worried about your wound, however, so you decide to take the chance and slip out of camp into the quiet still night, breathing in the fresh air.

You relish in the peace and quiet, something that had been hard to come by as of late with how rowdy your companions could be but you would never trade them for the world, you enjoyed their company far too much. Among them all, Astarion in particular had caught your eye, his facade of confidence and sensuality a far too familiar mask, hiding the quiet strength that you respected greatly. The vampire spawn was an enigma, ruby red eyes letting on far more than the honeyed words that dripped from his lips. The way his words always managed to make your heart flutter, the silent gestures of gratitude whenever you helped him that made you giddy, it made you feel like a teenager hopelessly in love.

Maybe you were in love with him.

You shake your head, dismissing the thought. What Astarion needed right now was a friend, not a lover. He needed to know that people could care without wanting anything in return, that there could be intimacy in non-sexual acts, and that he could be his own person.

Once your hear is cleared, you head to your favourite spot to get away from the hustle and bustle of the camp, only to find a certain someone already sitting there.

“Oh, hello there darling. Come to see me? I’m touched, really.”

“You’re in my spot,” you snort, making your way over. “How’s your back wound?”

“What back wound?” He smiles.

“The one that’s dripping blood all over my favourite spot?”

“Ah, that one. You have to be more specific next time dear. It’ll heal in time, don’t you worry your sweet self.”

“Let me help you with it.” You take the medical supplies hiding behind the rock the both of you are leaning on and start preparing the materials you need. Astarion stares, first at the medical supplies then up at you when he realises its the exact same supplies he haphazardly stashed away upon hearing your approach.

“I don’t need your help,” he hisses. “I can take care of myself.”

“It’s poisoned, you’ll need more than this to get rid of the poison.” You take a couple of herbs out. “Halsin said to ground these into a paste and then apply the paste to the wound before bandaging it.”

Astarion scowls, glaring at the leaves sitting in your open palm. Of course the druid would go around poking his nose into other’s businesses. He tentatively reaches for the leaves, then pulls back when he realises he has no idea how to ground them into paste. You then pull out a mortar and pestel and start grinding the herbs while he watches quietly, observing your every move. Once the herbs have been sufficiently ground, you slide the mortar over to him.

“There, all done. Next time you want to use this spot, just let me know in advance alright? Then I’ll know not to disturb you.” You grin, pushing yourself to your feet. “See you back in camp.”

With that you turn to leave, but his next words stop you in your tracks.

“Wait, Y/N.”

You turn around.

“Could…could you help me treat the wound. I can’t exactly see where it is,” he admits nervously. He’s still uncertain about letting you touch his back like that, but you’ve never meant him any harm, he could let you see him all exposed, right?

“Sure.” You seat yourself next to him and he turns around, the moonlight casting a glow on his scars. This is the first time you’ve been able to properly see them, the markings permanently etched into his pale skin and your own back throbs at the thought of the pain he must have gone through.

“I’m going to wash the wound first then apply the paste, alright?”

He nods wordlessly, biting down on his lip when the pain flares up once more the moment water contacts the wound. You murmur an apology before gently applying the paste on the wound that is quickly turning an ugly green. You feel him flinch as your finger makes contact with his back, a small trembling in his shoulders and pause, unsure if you should continue. You could just leave the wound like this, the paste would work its magic, removing the poison while his vampiric healing took care of what remained. A bandage was more a precaution to ensure the wound didn’t get infected, but if he was going to remain here for the rest of the night he wouldn’t risk an infection.

“Do you want me to continue? I could just leave the wound as it is right now and it’ll heal.” You voice is gentle, soft, not like the rough and grating tone Cazador speaks in.

“Continue. Please.” He whispers the last part but you hear him all the same. A small smile flicks across your face at the trust he’s putting in you and you continue, bandaging the wound neatly. He remains as still as possible while you work, with the occasional flinch when you accidentally pull the cloth a little too tightly but a quick apology soothes everything over and soon you’re done.

“There. All done.” You pack the remaining supplies as he pulls his shirt back on, turning around to face you.

“Thank you.” He inclines his head. You smile in response, “welcome!”

He sits there in silence for a while, unsure of what else to say. He wants to express more than gratitude, to tell you that you’re the first person he’s ever let touch his back, his scars, that he’s been afraid of letting anyone near him, fearing that they will hurt him, that you’re so many of his firsts, and yet words elude him, lost to the night’s breeze.

It’s only when you check on your own wound that he finds something to say.

“Would you like me to kiss it better?”

You laugh, the melody carrying through the crisp night air. “Why thank you for the offer, Astarion, I am rather tempted to accept it but alas, the doubt that kissing it wouldn’t help in the slightest has overtaken the temptation.”

“You wouldn’t know unless you tried, love. What is there to lose?” he smirks, back in familiar territory.

“My dignity perhaps?” You chuckle.

“There’s no one else around, only you and me. No one will know but us, it’ll be our little secret.” He leans in closer and winces at the twinge of pain from his back.

“Don’t strain it,” you frown, concerned. It’s when you look at him with that look in his eyes that his undead heart skips a beat and all he can think about is how much you care for him without wanting anything in return. You lavish both time and energy onto him, far more than the others and yet you’ve never asked a favour of him. He keeps trying to pry your ulterior motive from you but nothing ever gets revealed, meaning you have none, which only makes him even more confused.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Why do you concern yourself with me so much? What is it you want from me?”

“Hm? What I want from you? Nothing, honest! You’re my friend, it’s only natural I should care for your wellbeing.” Friend, nothing more.

Friend, a foreign word to him. He’s never considered anyone anything more than a tool, a way to protect himself and everyone has done the same to him, using him for their own gains, their own purposes. Yet here you are, shattering everything he’s been used to and showing him something he never once considered. Maybe having a friend wasn’t so bad, it meant he could do things he never could’ve done alone, it meant feeling a little less alone in the whisper of the night. Most of all, it meant he could spend more time with you, listen to your voice, have you all to himself.

“Hmph,” is all he says out loud and the two of you continue to sit in silence, watching as the moon bathes your surroundings in its silvery light.

Friends for now, perhaps something more in the future.

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 4

I do not believe in luck. It is not something my species is familiar with. We believe in science and logic. I was not even aware of the concept of luck or faith until I left the planet my species populates. So I do not  believe that it was a coincidence when during this cycle, the human was assigned to work with me. I did not see the Terran during my cyclic meal intake, and was immediately called into the main machinery room without a sight of it.

The Vitrichl appeared shortly after with the human in tow. Vitrichl eludicated that the human had proved to be a skillful worker and was now officially assigned to my unit unless the Vitrichl explicitly stated otherwise.Vitrichl left to attend his other duties, leaving me with the human.

I turned to the control panels covering the walls, and speaking into a small microphone, I introduced the Terran to the machine. "This is human Quinn. It is officially part of my unit and will assist me." 

"It‘s 'she', mate.", the human corrected. "Excuse me?", I asked, careful not to be impolite. "She. My prounous are 'she‘, not 'it'.", she explained. "I apologize. I did not mean to upset you." "It‘s alright, mate. I‘m not upset, just correcting you for future reference.“ "Thank you", I decided on the safest route.

"So, a mechanic as well? Cool.", she folded her fingers into her hand and extended it to me. I was not confident how I was supposed to respond to this gesture, so I once again, did nothing. Eventually, she retracted her hand and let it disappear into a fold in her clothing which appeared to be a pocket. 

Clothing, I noted. Not many members of the crew of the SIIR Noxos wore clothing on a regular basis, apart from their space suits. This obviously raised even more questions: Why did she wear clothing? Was it out of religious or cultural reasons? Out of personal comfort? Did all Terrans wear clothes or was she a special case? Did specific clothing symbolise specific things? These are all questions I hope I will be able to find out the answer to one day.

"Soo, like…what am I supposed to do around here? Do I have like, a specific task or…? Cap didn‘t mention anything." Cap. That was a word the translating device wasn‘t able to translate. "Cap?", I questioned further. Her face muscles contracted in a manner that made the patches of hair above her visual organs move closer to each other and the skin above them fold.

"The captain?", she said. "Of course, I apologize. The translating device did not recognize that word. I call him Vitrichl."

"Oh, is that his name? He didn‘t say anything." "No", I reassured. "It is simply the word "Captain" in my species‘ language." "Ah okay…", she said. "Well, what about my task?" "Of course.", I assigned her a simple task, showing her where to work and what to do. We then continued to work in silence. I did not object, because it gave me plenty of time to observe the human.

Humans, or at least this one, seemed to have rather random patches of hair on their head. Attached to the protective skin over their eyes, in a line above the eyes and on the top of the head. In human Quinn‘s case, it grew down, barely reaching her chest and was of a deep brown colour, just like her eyes. 

The muscles in her face never seemed to stay still, always contracting or smoothing while she worked. It was probable that facial expressions played a big part in human communication.

She still stood on two legs, upright and used both of her arms to work. For some inexplicable reason, she usually held a piece of technology or something similar in only one hand, but seemed to keep switching sides in a rather random matter.

I‘d have to ask her about it, but it did not seem like an appropriate time.

After working for some time and me continuously observing her, she set down her equipment and spoke: "Y’know, you‘re probably not aware of this, but humans consider staring rude." She turned around on her feet and faced me, seemingly watching me process this information. I quickly responded, careful not to irritate her further after having done something so insensitive. "I apologize. I was not aware of humans‘ stance on this behaviour and it was not my intention to be rude or make you uncomfortable. If I may ask, though, I have been watching you for some time now and I did not notice you ever turn around to face me until now. How were you aware I was watching you?" 

"Well, I could just kind of…feel it. I sensed your gaze in my back. Kind of like a sixth sense, you could probably say." I blinked. Sensed my gaze? Sixth sense? What were the other five then? 

I voiced these questions: "What do you mean you sensed it?" 

"Well, I just kind of had this feeling of someone watching me. Don‘t you ever get that feeling?" Flabbergasted, I said no.

She raised and lowered the part where her arms and chest joined once again, similar to the gesture she offered on the second day. "Well, I guess it just must be a human thing." "I suppose", I agreed, and with that, she turned back to the control panel she was commanding and we continued to work in silence, although now I was keenly aware of my every move and careful not to let my gaze linger on the Terran for too long.

She left before I did, apparently to take in another of her daily meals (something that was not necessary for my species). Soon, the cycle was already over before I encountered the human again.

I have made great progress during this cycle and I believe that if the human continues to work in my environment, it will be easier for me to discover more information about humans. 

Perhaps that is why the Vitrichl put the human into my section. Perhaps this was his plan all along. But I do not draw conclusions. I simply propose theories.

[js589]

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss rayllum? 👀

I finally finished it! Been dealing with sick kiddos, so not much time to write. 😓

This takes place in a continuity where Harrow, for whatever reason (probably Sarai's influence, let's be honest) reached out and started peace talks with the Moonshadow elves... and it kinda worked! He and Sarai are still very much alive. There's definitely still very tentative trust on all sides, but one of the things they decided on, for whatever reason (read: I think bodyguard romance is cute) is that they'd do a kind of guard exchange and see if they could find someone the princes vibed with.

I am gonna say they're more their post-timeskip ages here because I don't see the Moonshadow elves sending a 15-year-old, even a prodigy, but they sent her as an assassin in canon, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

(ask game can be found here)

-----------

What am I even doing?

Rayla marveled at the idiocy that had led her to this point. Most of it hadn't been hers.

Most of it.

It was usually Soren or Callum who started trouble. When it wasn't them, it was Ezran, except on one memorable occasion when the Crow Master had excitedly demanded a demonstration of her abilities. Rayla had—stupidly—obliged, stepped into moonlight... And every single bird in the loft had lost its mind, including Seluna, the crescent hawk that Rayla used to communicate with her family back home. (Her father had returned her next communication saying that Seluna was bred for speed rather than intelligence, and it showed.)

Much as Rayla would have liked to blame anyone else, it truly was her own fault for developing a crush on a prince (not by blood, not that that seemed to matter) of Katolis. This whole guard exchange had been a stupid idea, not that she'd ever tell King Harrow that. Sure, fostering trust after so many generations of animosity was all well and good, but an elf even thinking about romance with a human prince? She'd be sent back home, and she wasn't sure she'd be all in one piece. There was no way for her to get a different assignment either. No; she'd been sent specifically because the princes seemed to elude every other guard they were given, and King Harrow and Queen Sarai had thought that a bodyguard closer to their age might develop a better rapport.

Well, it had worked quite well. Too well, where Callum was concerned. Even Soren had noticed. Perhaps it was his responsibility to notice when someone was trying to get too close, but if his goal was to prevent that, this certainly wasn't a good way to address it. If Soren were anyone else, Rayla would suspect an underhanded, brilliant plot to get her sent back to the Silvergrove for good. As it was, she suspected he missed being able to torment his sister, who was currently studying magic in Xadia. Would he have dared his sister to kiss Callum like he had dared Rayla? Claudia would probably have had the nerve to on her own, if she was anything like Soren.

Hurried footsteps at the other end of the hall pulled her attention from her thoughts.

"Rayla! Rayla, I figured it out!" Callum was beaming.

He was always on about something these days. He'd wanted to go study magic instead of Claudia, but he'd been deemed both too inexperienced and too much of a target. Even the peace with the Moonshadow elves was tenuous. He'd settled for pestering Rayla to explain it to him instead. She hadn't considered herself to be any kind of teacher, and she'd sighed more than once that she'd been brought in as a guard and not a governess, but Callum was persistent.

She had to admit he was also bright. He'd been able to piece together what Rayla said with what he'd learned from letters Claudia had sent and the scant few books in the library that had anything useful to say, and while he hadn't been successful at forging a connection on his own, he'd been able to use the materials Xadia was willing to trade to the human kingdoms—mostly rocks and a few plants—in ways Rayla hadn't thought of before.

He'd been working on several projects recently. One of them must have worked out. If nothing else, it was bound to be interesting.

Rayla blinked, remembering she was actually supposed to ask. "Figured... what out?"

Callum grabbed her arm and dragged her over to a window. "Look!" He stepped into the moonlight and sketched a rune in the air. "Vitreus."

He didn't go completely invisible, but if someone wasn't looking carefully, they wouldn't see him.

Rayla was already imagining the myriad ways this could go wrong.

"It doesn't really work if I'm not in moonlight—" Callum stepped forward and he mostly reappeared, but slightly blurry "—but I can do something that you can do!"

Rayla wanted to point out that he'd already capably performed several small spells beyond any ability she had, but that wasn't the point. Callum's infectious enthusiasm had her smiling back at him, anyway.

It had her heart pounding, too.

Maybe if she just did it now, when the time felt right, he'd never know it was a dare? She wanted to do it anyway—Soren was annoyingly right about that—so it wasn't as though she was doing it out of malice...

Nobody had to see them, she realized. Rayla yanked Callum back into the moonlight, waiting only just long enough to be sure he'd disappeared again before she leaned in and pressed her lips against his for just a moment. She drew back quickly, careful to stay in the light of the moon.

"Did you just... Was that..." Callum blinked. "Rayla, did you mean that? Like, did you mean that?"

She should have shoved him back out of the moonlight so she could see him clearly. She thought his voice was hopeful, but she couldn't be sure she wasn't just imagining it. He had taken her hands in his, though, which seemed to be a good sign. "Yeah, I did," she said quietly.

Callum sighed, and Rayla could hear his grin in his voice. "Oh, that's a relief, because Soren told me I should if I wanted to but I didn't think you actually wanted to and—" he was cut off as Rayla pulled him back in for another kiss.

After a long and rather pleasant moment, she drew back just far enough to speak. "Right now, less talk and more kissing."

She was glad Callum had never been particularly picky about his status or title. She was ordering a prince to kiss her!

He was, apparently, entirely willing to oblige. If only I'd known.

Well, she knew now. There were certainly still bound to be hurdles, but this, at least, was simple enough, and for the moment, Rayla was content with it.

[intuitive-revelations]

Some notes on Tales of the TARDIS: The Pyramids of Mars (some finale trailer spoilers included)

We don't get as much interesting stuff in the framing device here, for obvious reasons, but there's still some stuff to talk about.

Surprised they still used the stock backgroud / TARDIS cgi for this Tales of the TARDIS episode. I would have thought they would have something new/more specific to the next episode.

I'm very interested in the decision to have Fifteen and Ruby here. Out of universe I get it, what with Elisabeth Sladen being gone, and who knows if Tom would have able/willing to do something with a different actor (and who would you bring in even if he were? Luke?). But the in-universe placement is interesting. I would have assumed it was just a framing device, but we know we're going to see the Memory TARDIS in the finale. I'm guessing there will be a scene with them in the Memory TARDIS where Fifteen briefly explains what Sutekh is, and the Tales of the TARDIS bookends will basically be a deleted scene that fits into that?

There's actually some evidence for this. As we zoom in, the TARDIS doors seem to be open, which might fit with those trailer scenes of the Doctor looking out at Earth, plus the one of him screaming. However, Mel was there in the trailer, so I'm guessing we're going to be in and out of the Memory TARDIS quite a bit next episode.

I noticed those subtle camera glances from Ncuti as he's talking about Four and Sarah Jane :)

People have already commented on it, but I like the anti-colonialist reframing of the story.

As for the omnibus story itself, the editing was generally good. I don't know the original serial enough to spot everything they did, but I did kinda miss the Victoria reference at the beginning.

Interesting decision to replace the Time Corridor effects with the modern Time Vortex. Kinda makes sense in some ways, plus probably helps explain how Sutekh ends up in the Void without needing other stories. Super missed opportunity not using the graphics from the Season promo photos though, which people pointed out as being very reminiscent of the time tunnel.

As someone always eager, usually in vain, for 'canon' to fit together, I'm super intrigued by the mention of Sutekh having "evolved into a Titan" since Pyramids. (Interestingly, the iPlayer titles capitalised this. I found it a bit interesting, since in the context of gods, it immediately bring to mind Greek mythology, but that would be an odd choice to combine with the Egyptian/Christian inspired Sutekh.)

(Actually small critique of the iPlayer subtitling. I don't really need accessibility features, but had them on as I didn't want to miss anything. The new Doctor Who content has made some big bounds with accessibility, with the BSL and audio description options, but I was a bit disappointed with some of the subtitling line changes from the actual spoken words, even if I get why some lines might have been changed for clarity from Four's meandering language. It had quite a big effect on the dialogue though, in some places. I can see what people on here mean when they advocate for accurate subtitling.)

Anyway, back to the evolution thing. I hope this might be explained or eluded to next episode, given the decision to re-air an episode with such a distinctly different Sutekh.

Between the time tunnel leading to the far future, plus the fact he originates from the Dark Times, maybe the idea of him being the 'oldest one' isn't as crazy as I thought? After all, beings like the Toymaker, if they are the 'Time Lords' of the previous universe, are presumably only around 14 billion years old in the present day, if their original species had lifespans similar to the current Time Lords.

That being said, Four says he 'lived for 7000 years'. No idea if that's about his lifetime up until this point, or how long the Doctor thinks Sutekh survived in the Time Tunnel. If the prior, it's possible it doesn't include his time imprisoned. If the latter, maybe that's how long he was stuck in the tunnel before he escaped to the Void, with his disappearance causing the Doctor to assume he died?

Meanwhile, maybe the "Mother/Father/Other" thing is more about taking that kind of role in providing understanding of N-Space to the Great Old Ones, like in the Titan Comics storyline, than an actual parental connection? I don't know, that one's going to both me if we don't get more information tonight...

The only other possibility, which admittedly I kind of like, is that Sutekh is somehow an incarnation of The Beast (in the same way the Doctor might be the Other/Red Guardian), who really is old enough to be such a thing. If so, maybe he's awakened to that power/knowledge since last we saw him?

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I have a world that has always had floating islands for as long as people lived there and now it has grown into a high-tech society, and even though they build structures on these islands, they've never actually learned how the islands float. What would make that possible? Lots of theories and lots of tests... but exactly how they float continues to elude them. But what? Like add in some unknown metal or whatever they cannot find the properties of or what? Or maybe whatever that actually made them float they've never found and all the individual pieces they've chipped off these floating islands ahas never had the same property if broken off? And for some reason tests on the broken pieces and the parts intact somehow always display the same results?

This is never meant to be found out and not at all the point of my story, just for aesthetic, so handwaving is alright, but this also is a society growing up with that giant mystery hanging over the heads that they're seeing every day and directly impacting their lives.. it's got to seep into culture and everything.

Tex: Do you know how the internet works? Would you be able to describe a motherboard and its functions? How to construct it? What about CSS sheets? Domain names? What a security protocol is and what hacking is? How much does it cost to host a website? If I handed you all the materials, could you duplicate the hardware and software that comprises the internet?

You still use the internet, though, don’t you? Do you spend a lot of time wondering about any of that while you’re surfing the web, or chatting with your friends? No, most likely not - you just use it.

It’s the same concept as your floating islands - while understanding how something you use works is great, most of the time it’s unnecessary to the actual usage of the thing. Most likely there will be some experts developing a field of study, who accumulate and aggregate knowledge on specific subjects in order to develop a knowledge base for whomever comes after them.

If there’s a cultural reason to learn more than basic interactions, then most likely what will happen is that the entire field of scientific study will also be improved - if your islands float because of some form of gravitational field, what else can gravitational fields affect? So on and so forth.

Licorice: Is this world a uni-state? Or do some of these islands form their own nation-states? Floating islands would be constantly changing the territorial waters to which they can lay claim. Or perhaps, if an island floats into the territorial waters of a fixed state, that state might seek to claim it? What international laws and customs have grown up to deal with such situations?

How big are the largest of these islands? How small is the smallest? How far do they float?

Do the islands follow a predictable route, in the same way that, say, the Gulf Stream does, or the planets in their orbit? Can humans know where any given island will be a year, ten years, a hundred years or a thousand years from now? Or do they float completely at random?

You mentioned many different theories having been proposed for why the islands float, but none having been proved. People being what they are, there are probably also some conspiracy theories “floating” around, maybe a religious cult or two, people who believe it’s “against nature” to investigate the “blessing” of the floating islands, perhaps a doomsday prophecy about “the day the islands cease to move…” and so on. 

[morethansky]

***TBB SPOILERS***

But on last week's episode, "Flash Strike," because my mind is currently racing in circles and I'll explode if I don't do anything for the next hour. Less coherent than usual probably, because I feel like I'm about to vibrate into the stratosphere.

Immediate Crosshunt frame within the first five seconds. Perfection. And notice Hunter and Crosshair once again leave the scene together—because Crosshair is Hunter's copilot, Crosshair is Hunter's copilot!!! Also they're so obsessed with each other, during the piloting scenes they are constantly looking at each other. Crosshair popping out of his seat to tell Hunter things when he should be watching the screens, Hunter turning around when he should be looking out the viewport?? Are the two of you going to die if you don't make eye contact every ten seconds??? Focus!

"He'll find a way." And boy does he!!! Echo, the man you are. Like in the last episode, the infiltration scene is simple but cleverly choreographed but moves at a good pace.

Bro I'm so mad that it was so easy for Echo to nab a hand and he hasn't before this point wtf

I always like when the Imperials being full of themselves wastes each other's time and allows the protagonists to elude them, while also saying something about the enemy characters. A+ Star Wars plot device.

Please let Scorch make it out and not just die as an easter egg they didn't do anything with!!!

OH NO Scalder is hot

I really like Omega being able to distinguish the rumble of the laser cannons. Everyone who was all worked up about her imitating Crosshair, there you have it. Even without the enhancements, Omega has learned to sense things like Hunter does.

"My brothers" made my siblings > parents heart full. And the line is particularly kickass because she's no longer helpless. She's not waiting for the Batch to come for her. She already has an escape plan. But now she has the reassurance that they'll be working the same mission from opposite ends.

Noshir Dalal's work this episode is ACES. Every single scream he does is so different! And each of them have so much texture.

I love Hunter shooting the rappel line mechanism to save Rampart and it risking his life being a mirror for Tech shooting the mechanism to save the Batch and it risking his life. A much more graceful reminder than just someone awkwardly saying one line about Tech every episode.

Crosshair being 100% confident about which move Hunter will make and how he'll find his way back to them, WHAT IF I CRIED. Hunter, what did you track to find Crosshair, I have to know. Was it his scent? The sound of his footsteps? The flutter of his heartbeat? No matter what it was, it was gay.

Crosswrecker crumbs!!! I can't believe we got TWO emotional conversations in this episode, this is the content I've been starving for. I love the duo of Crosshair and Wrecker so much, and Crosshair being emotionally vulnerable with him specifically is so telling about the depth of their connection.

Love the mirror of Crosshair saying he's here because he owes Omega, mirroring the S1 finale. And you can just feel the ghost of Mayday lingering over this bit. Crosshair's arc in the finale will have to be about him taking an action that shows him growing out of this mentality.

"Cover you?" "What does that mean?" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. My headcanon for the clones is that they use so much military slang and hand signs to communicate that it's often incomprehensible to outsiders.

This moment during Crosshair's conversation with Rampart!!! And I love the way the light casts them in darkness and light during this conversation, and the way Crosshair appears to be emerging from it. Crosshair carrying Hunter's words with him makes me so emotional.

"Depends on who's giving them." SUB CROSSHAIR SUPREMACY. God this line makes me insane. Crosshair stating both his disdain for the Empire and his allegiance to Hunter in so few words. This show has once again decided to pretend the inhibitor chips don't exist, but I'll trade it for what amounts to an emotional confession / oath of loyalty from Crosshair.

I've watched the scene where Hunter is facing down the beast and Crosshair is standing literally RIGHT behind him so many times oh my god. If he leaned down he could press their cheeks together. I can't believe my prediction that they would just move closer and closer on screen every episode was right. The next logical step for them is to kiss in the finale, obviously.

Also this moment where Crosshair and Hunter help Wrecker up!!!

And this one!!! Echo representing the heroic standard I've been desperate for!!!

Echo going undercover in blank armor to save all his brothers... Fives going undercover in blank armor to save the galaxy... I am unwell. If the Echo feature these past couple episodes has been to set up his death, I will go knock down LFL offices myself.

Every time they play the clone theme for Echo or Rex I start almost crying. The soft rendition in the scene with Emerie made me so emotional, and then the dark fanfare version at the end is so sick!!!

Okay, off I go to lose the rest of my sanity...

[applesandbannas747]

for the fanfic end of year asks

1, 3, and 9!

Thank you for playing the ask game with me! I did not consider how hard the questions would be XD

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

I wrote. SO many fics this year jsdfha Fence Challenge really made them add up. My longer projects tend to be more sentimentally dear to me because I spent so much time with them, so Ribcage and Dead Hearts are definitely up there.

If I Could was really cathartic and fulfilling to me because even though, yeah, I think Jesse and Seiji had a romance of some variety, and Pacat and Jo are gunning for the angle of exes--and I know I'm probably supposed to read it that way--I don't read it that way. The more we see of Jesse and his interactions with Seiji, the less I believe he's romantically interested in Seiji, though it's obvious Seiji means everything to him...everything just short of fencing. I do, however, see Seiji as having wanted more with Jesse. So this fic was an ode to the pain of losing someone you love because you can't love them in the 'right' way--the romantic way. And it's just not a dynamic I see a lot anywhere or a pain I ever see acknowledged, though I'm pretty sure the strange melding of self with your best friend as a queer kid in a way that leaves the lines between you blurry is a fairly common experience.

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

I always love when people point out a line in a fic they really liked because often they'll pick up lines/scenes that I really liked too. But of course now that I'm trying to think of specifics, they elude me. I think I've gotta go with a line from Ribcage:

“Because I crawled inside your blood to hide from monsters,” Jesse said quietly, head unable to turn away but eyes still refusing to meet Eugene’s. “I used you as a shield and built a shelter in your bones. You were compelled to keep me safe because I bit you and gave that curse to you.”

I know for certain that the line was written in 2023 as well, not just posted, so it's a safe bet and a line I really liked. What can I say, my 6th-grade English teacher really had me all figured out when she said I'm a dramatic writer XD

9. longest wip of the year

Currently at 64,225 words (and like,,, a fourth of the way through the story at most), the fic currently called 'Captain' takes the title. It was named during its initial conception, but has grown way past that kernal so I don’t know if it'll keep that name lol

[incesthemes]

Late wincest Weds ask! If you haven’t gotten this one yet!

10. when would they finally hook up? (specific season/episode? pre-series? post-canon?)

it's still wednesday here!!!!! and wincest is forever 💖💖💖 thank you for the ask, you're too nice

i said in this ask "always," more or less, so this time i will answer that i really enjoy the reading of especially the early seasons where a lot of the episodes have themes which dance along the lines of "sam and dean are miserable because they can't fuck their brother." the longing and intense yearning they share for this ideal relationship they want with each other but ~for some reason~ eludes them is delicious. so while my strongest headcanon for their relationship is always, i do like the slow burn that the show presents us with.

that said, i think my alternative answers for this would either be:

1x22, almost, but it was aborted on account of they almost died and john did die. this episode is the onset of their codependency, so it would be fitting that they consummated it with something more physical—a representation of the deeper bond they've forged. unfortunately john got in the way and azazel definitely got in the way, so as ideal as it would be for them to hook up here, it never actually worked out (and then the sexual tension skyrocketed from then on)

post 2x14, very soon after meg gets the hell out of sam's body. it's kind of a turning point of their honeymoon phase where sam starts desperately trying to believe dean's commitment to saving him, so i think it would be really nice to see him reach out, almost tentatively like a test, to see if dean will reach back (and of course he does)

if they don't get together in season 2, though, my preference would jump wayyyy into the future and probably be sometime immediately after 10x03. sam has his brother back, he is desperate to kickstart their domestic married (enmeshed) lives together, and dean is desperate to reconnect with sam. sam would probably be the driving force here, with dean a little more timid considering he just tried to kill sam with a hammer, but like. this cas quote: "maybe you should um… take some time before you get back to work. allow yourself to heal. it's, uh… i don't know." that? that was cas telling dean to fuck his brother. i'm just saying.

[esteemed-excellency]

fuck i wanna ask all of them, I am chosing numbers at random: 2,5,12,25

2. How long have these two characters known each other?

They've known each other since 1865!

5. Do they get along? Why or why not?

They used to get along swimmingly, but all their communications ceased after Morgan sailed away in 1869. The Admiralty intercepted their correspondence, but for a long time neither of them knew. This happened just a year after Hiram's incident and he still needed his friend by his side. He still needed them to admit that maybe there was something more than frienship between them. Hiram was convinced that Morgan left him on purpose, and Morgan thought that Hiram didn't care about them anymore.

They met again in 1885, but they had both become very different people by then. Fifteen years of bitterness and mistrust can't be easily resolved in a meeting, and they basically ended up in a spiralling situationship trying to force the other to apologise. Hiram was still mad about Morgan's "betrayal", he didn't like their new attitude towards life, and their comments on his Ambition. Plus, something definitely happened at zee, and on Hiram's part, the situationship ended up as yet another way to gather information. He always tried to escalate things and force Morgan to tell him everything, but they always eluded his questions. They were at each other's throats for years, until they found out about the letters. I'll let @thunder-threnodies elaborate on their disagreements, an on Morgan's feelings.

They had a lot of time to voice their differences and settle their disagreements over the years. They still disagree on a lot of things, but they get along swimmingly again. They just really like to argue, and they both have their ways to make an argument interesting.

12. Do they have any affection for each other? How do they show it?

Hiram has a lot of affection for Morgan, even if he doesn't always realise it. He's not very good at expressing affection with words, so he prefers to spoil them with dates and dinners every time they're in town, or by planning something interesting and out of the ordinary to do. More than anything, his main goal and way of showing his love is making sure that Morgan keeps being enamoured of life.

He also always makes sure that the authorities don't bother them in London (picture Hiram glaring at the Admiralty and the Constables every time they're together).

25. If a stranger saw them together, how would they describe their relationship?

They don't seem to get along nicely when they're on their best formal behaviour, Morgan looks like the type of person who loathes Hiram's social circles, and Hiram doesn't seem a person who usually associates with zailors. One of them always looks a bit out of place in the other's social circles, and high society would probably think that they're hanging out together for more or less legal business. A diplomat accompanied by a zee captain is not an unusual sight, what's unusual is this specific captain.

If, on closer inspection, their affection becomes evident, a stranger from high society would probably clock them as moderately improper. At least Morgan's manners are courteous, and they're decidedly less scandalous than the other companion Hiram is usually seen with.

The Bohemians and Tomb Colonists often see them strolling about their parts of town, and they would describe them as that one handsome captain, you know, the broody silverer from Gaider's Mourn?, and his dandy husband, you know, the guy who throws all the parties in Varlet's Walk? They're somewhat of an odd couple, but they seem to perfectly match each other's freak!

People from other factions would describe them very differently, but I'll leave their impressions to @thunder-threnodies <3

[rune-echos]

Having Undiagnosed Autism

There are many definitions of autism, and for me, it has always manifested as a difficulty in understanding the world in the same way others do. This is not an official description of autism, but it reflects my personal experience. Although I haven't been officially diagnosed, my therapist believes it's very likely, and the symptoms resonate with me. The more I learn about autism, the more I recognize these patterns in my life, seeing them not as results of immaturity but as aspects of autism. One of the most significant signs for me is stimming; I find myself constantly engaging in this behavior, whether it's with my fingers, heels, arms, or tongue, to increase sensory input or provide a sense of calm. As I write this, I am stimming and rocking back and forth, which brings me comfort.

During my childhood, autism wasn't commonly tested for. Being born in 1979, I grew up in a time when the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Third Edition (DSM-III) didn't have a clear category for autism as we understand it today. The 1980s saw the introduction of "infantile autism" as a category, differing from the previous DSM-II, which still included criteria for childhood schizophrenia. It's important to note the significant gaps in understanding autism during that era. Some might think that my family or my education failed to provide the support I needed, but the reality is that the awareness and resources simply weren't available. Born in 1979, by 1984, I was just a five-year-old in a world that had yet to fully recognize autism.

As a high school math teacher, I've seen how educational policies have evolved. The legislation that came into effect in the 1990s, specifically the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), significantly improved support for children with autism. However, by the time these changes were implemented, I was already 11 years old and past the early detection stage. Despite the advancements, I was never tested for autism, and it was a similar case for many of my peers. We share experiences of navigating school and life with undiagnosed ADHD or ASD, relying on our parents and communities to do their best in a world that often left us feeling overlooked.

For some context, I was raised in an upper-middle-class family, though financial difficulties around the dot-com crash adjusted our status to more of a lower-middle-class by the time I finished high school in 1997. Despite these challenges, my upbringing was far from harsh. I was never subjected to abuse, always felt loved by my parents, and never lacked for necessities like food. My mother, in particular, was incredibly patient, attentively listening to my endless chatter, an example of her saint-like patience, especially considering she had no resources for handling my unique needs as a child. Being gifted and likely on the autism spectrum presented its own set of challenges, ones we couldn't fully grasp, partly due to the lack of medical insurance in our household. A hurtful remark from my aunt suggested I needed psychological help, which, despite her probable intentions to provoke my mother rather than express genuine concern, highlighted a solitary voice of advocacy for professional intervention in my life.

This background underscores a relatively stable family life, with parents whose marriage remained intact and who continue to be my staunchest supporters well into my adulthood. However, this stability contrasts sharply with my internal experience of drifting through life, often perplexed by the world around me. While I mastered basic social interactions and professional etiquette, deeper understanding eluded me, especially regarding social nuances and forming meaningful friendships. This confusion persisted into adulthood, although I have since developed a more nuanced understanding of people, albeit in a somewhat abstract manner.

Reflecting on this journey, the most poignant aspect for me is not the social confusion but the experience of meltdowns. While I don't recall significant meltdowns from early childhood, and my mother doesn't mention any, the vagaries of memory mean I can't be certain they didn't occur. It's the meltdowns in adulthood, of which I have three vivid memories, that stand out as particularly impactful.

The first incident involved my best friend, Justin, and my mother. To this day, I can't recall what sparked the episode. I do remember feeling incredibly overwhelmed and angry, with an intense urge to throw things or slam my fists, which I resisted due to my upbringing. As the argument, whose subject eludes me, escalated, my anger surged until I stormed off. This may seem like typical teenage behavior, likely amplified by hormones, but reflecting on it as an adult, I recall wondering, especially as I began to calm down, "Why am I so scared?" My body reacted as if I were in mortal danger, an utterly irrational fear that left me confused. I later made amends with Justin and my mother, who graciously accepted my apologies, and I resolved to prevent such outbursts in the future.

The second episode occurred well into adulthood, during an outing with my then-wife, Jeanette, at a county fair. We were about to enter a building for something Jeanette wanted, possibly food, though my memory is unclear. The environment was noisy, which I found distressing, not yet understanding my aversion to crowds and loud sounds. The meltdown happened when I was tasked with purchasing something from a vendor, faced with a long queue and a high-stress situation. When the vendor refused my request, knowing I had to disappoint Jeanette, my stress escalated into a full-blown meltdown. I yelled at the vendor, embarrassing both Jeanette and myself, and expressed things I would never consider doing. Jeanette's prolonged anger towards me added to my own self-reproach and shame. I unfairly blamed her, perceiving her expectations as inflexible, when in reality, I was overwhelmed by sensory overload and perceived failure in not fulfilling the task. This incident, which Jeanette attributed to anger management issues, led me to introspect about controlling my behavior, though it also left me with a deep sense of shame related to my suspected autism.

The third meltdown occurred when I was alone, during my studies to become a teacher. After failing a state teaching exam, I had to retake it, which was a significant financial burden. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, the test was administered online, which clashed with my dual-monitor setup, a detail I was unaware would be an issue. When the testing company refused to refund my fee, blaming the failure on my technical setup, my frustration boiled over. I ended my call with a forceful slam of my phone, a reaction that alarmed even my dog. Reflecting on this, I recall feeling as though I was facing an existential threat, a sensation that bewilderingly subsided as I regained emotional composure, leaving me questioning the rationale behind my actions.

These instances underscore a recurring theme: the numerous intense arguments between my late ex-wife, Jen, and me, often fueled by my emotional responses rather than logical reasoning. I don't imply that the fault was entirely mine; our marriage was fraught with stress, a topic for another discussion. However, these experiences do reflect a pattern of emotional dysregulation, exacerbated by chronic sleep deprivation. The pressures of work, school, and other unpredictable situations would heighten my anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed, leading to moments where rational thought seemed to shut down. In an attempt to manage what I perceived as an anger issue and preserve my marriage, I adopted the maladaptive strategy of silence, avoiding the expression of my concerns.

Access to effective therapy during those times would have been beneficial, but that's a subject for another time. The coping mechanisms I developed involved withdrawing from others, becoming increasingly introverted and isolated. This withdrawal was driven by my confusion over my inability to "think my way out" of emotional turmoil, a skill I was led to believe I possessed as a gifted child.

It's only in the past five to six years that I've begun to understand my autism not as a flaw but as an intrinsic part of who I am. While my family, including my parents and sister, have always supported me and never made me feel deficient, the realization that I don't interact with the world in conventional ways was a challenge to face on my own. The affirmation from my therapist about the likelihood of me being autistic, accompanied by resources to learn more about autism, was a turning point. However, it was my engagement with Educational Psychology during my university studies that truly illuminated the symptoms of autism in a way that resonated with my experiences.

Currently, my focus is on identifying my triggers to either avoid or manage them effectively. The challenge lies in doing this without feeling or appearing incapable of functioning as an adult. The sense of shame I carry has deep roots, stemming from a childhood and adolescence filled with expectations to navigate life as if my cognitive processes mirrored everyone else's, which they do not.

To encapsulate my experiences, being a Gen X-er has provided me with a unique perspective on school and mental health, distinct from what newer generations might encounter. In my schooling years, "special ed" was reserved for those with significant disabilities, clearly segregated from "normal" classes. This binary classification meant that many of us, unaware of our own neurodivergences like depression or emotional dysregulation, remained undiagnosed and misunderstood. This isn't to suggest our challenges were more severe than those faced by students today, such as the fear of school shootings, but rather to highlight the stark differences in awareness and resources available.

In an era overwhelmed by information and, at times, misinformation, the call to "do your own research" has taken on various connotations, often muddled by conspiracy theories and political polarization. However, when it comes to understanding ourselves and our conditions, the abundance of resources at our disposal can be invaluable. We have the tools to learn about ourselves, beyond waiting for external validations or diagnoses. This autonomy in self-discovery and advocacy is what I believe is crucial. In the information age, it's imperative we harness these resources for personal growth and understanding. This is the message I hope to impart: advocate for yourself, delve into research for your own well-being, and make the most of the information age.

[lokiverserp]

Rules; Preferences, Verses & Characters

This Lokiverse blog is run by @blindtaleteller I've been roleplaying for over ten years between platforms: forum, game chats, discord, and tabletop. I don't interact with real life minors within my knowledge, as this blog can be NSFW at times; and there may be triggering subjects and definitely triggering backgrounds to the majority of the characters represented; including but not limited to: the mention of abuse of varying degrees and types, and torture.

US EST time zones, usually immediately available at night; but not afraid to take my time responding to and or RPing to those in differing time zones.

This blog is LGBTQ+ friendly. (Yes this means trans/Gender inclusive too.)

---Rules/Guidelines

Mature (18+) role-players only; underage characters are fine ONLY in platonic relationships.

This is a mature blog, it will have themes such as blackmail, brainwashing, torture, sexual themes and more. I prefer for this reason not to interact with minors, for these reasons and for my own comfort. If I discover you're under eighteen, I will block you.

Likewise, I am not comfortable or interested in role-playing my adult characters with minor-age characters; and will block if it's pushed.

However and that said:

1. If a mun wants to play a younger version of an adult character as a platonic backstory for their setting: I am willing, with some discussion ahead of time through DMs. As there are several Lokis at 1000+ years old, a few Bartons, and Tony Starks; this isn't a new concept to me. Just keep in mind that I will not roleplay sexual or romantic themes between them at that stage. Platonic only. 2. Gender fluidity and especially taking on appearances or illusions of other characters does sometimes happen with the Lokis in my verses in particular; depending on the story we're playing and era/verse we're playing in. If you aren't comfortable with that, this is your warning, and where I request you say as much in communicating with me ahead of time. Illusions are a big Loki skill, both for himself and in casting them on others. If the I feel character would feel the need to use them, or he is asked to do so for another character: he probably will. This includes but is not limited to changing genders and even who his appearance depicts him as, or in other circumstances; changing the appearance of his partnered character/s. As a side note to that: I do not play or play with Sylvie or Mobius characters, nor so I have any interest in playing Sylvie or Mobius characters. This has to do with the story, framing, including the pro-abuse and pro-torture messaging it portrays; especially along with the disregard for the title character in that series, more than anything else. That said, post-TVA Lokis can be discussed in DMs, but aren't very likely unless it's a Lokiverse-specific AU character (as brushed in OVERHAUL as one example). If you have questions about this or series era role-play, please DM me first: though it's not very likely I will accept without some large boundaries set in place with that in mind. I am not a fan of the series or it's dismissive and disrespectful treatment of the title character and every film before it in any way, shape or form; and prefer pre-Ragnarok characterizations for the Thor corner characters especially.

------Examples of the two exceptions listed above include, but aren't limited to:

a. Rather than fighting a pursuer etc, Loki opting to change himself, his roleplay partner or both to elude capture or the annoyance of a fight. This may include changing to another character's appearance, simply changing his own gender appearance, or removing either if not both from others' perceptions (I always will ask and discuss in DMs if this kind of thing comes up, where partners' appearances are concerned: if we don't discuss that during our first interactions.)

b. Using another appearance during a timeline/verse where his usual appearance where he doesn't want to deal with the hassle of, but might be immediately recognized in a setting where it applies. (This one can be pretty common.)

c. Role-plays where the other character is underage at the time of their first meeting (platonic only for underage characters) or a child character related comes across my characters. I am open to that and playing with MCU based OCs, but again; platonic only for underage characters.

I do try to tag any potential triggers as TW or spell it outright as trigger warning. The same applies to NSFW.

No Godmodding please; this includes capture. (Yes this has been tried before.) Don’t write for my characters. If you want the role-play to go a certain way just DM me and we will figure out a way to make it work. 

---This blog is new-ish and Semi-Selective:

Roleplaying is a fun time and I know how it can be to want to interact with everyone. I do have to work and sleep though, and am not always available for the timezone of every player: though I will often try to accommodate where possible.

I'm not afraid to take my time about it in working with those outside my TZ however; and have played with Australians, UK natives and more, prior. It may take us longer to finish a thread etc, but for me that isn't a reason to exclude or pressure anyone, and I appreciate being given that same respect.

If you want to play a character who is a child of one of mine, we can discuss it in DMs, but I'll warn you now I am very picky about that in particular; and it's on the very rare end of the spectrum that I will go for that, especially with a player new to me, and more so the characters as I play them. There are many reasons for this: so again, DM me about it.

I don’t participate in OOC drama. The MCU and existing stories are dramatic enough as is; and I do this for fun. Let's leave the drama in the role-play, okay?

---Preferences

I get wordy sometimes, so expect some posts to get long. This is especially true if we're aiming for a specific scene setting, or that scene changes; like moving from a home or street setting to a restaurant, car, plane, or mission setting and vice versa.

This also depends on the partner and roleplay. I'm good to do light stuff, but there will still be times where majority of characters will probably look around at their surroundings if you're controlling or start the scene too; whether that's for places to sit or simply out of curiosity about their role-play partner's environment.

Domestic or daily life role-plays are preferred early in for me. Testing them out in a first through third meeting (especially with new interactions) is a pretty common and comfortable thing for me. If you want to do a fight scene at some point, I'm okay with and used to that type as well from previous role-play experiences; but I do prefer to feel out the interaction through conversation etc.

That said; while sexual and or explicit scenes are more than okay with me, I don't prefer to jump right into them, either. If you're looking for pure smut right off the bat without proper build up, all I can say is you're probably best seeking role-play elsewhere.

I will probably ask you about your comfort with that kind of thing, if not just physical affection between the characters early in anyways; purely as a just in case. It's rare for my lot to engage even in that without a proper IC prompt in scene or desire to however. Otherwise, I am okay with 'fade to black' or summarizing if that's preferred. I may at times ask to move that sort of role-play to DMs or discord when applicable, myself.

---Disclaimers

This is an indie MCU AU blog, whose characters are based off of the their MCU counterparts. I don’t own anything MCU or otherwise.

These are my interpretation of, and versions of, the characters I write for.

I am not responsible for anyone else's content consumption: if you're here, read all this (or chose not to) and still interact expecting something else, that's on you.

Likewise and that said; your interaction with this blog is also your responsibility: harassment etc whether in asks or DMs, will be reported and blocked appropriately.

I do not tolerate bigots of any kind OOC. This includes but definitely is not limited to sexists of any flavor, and terfs. If a character is being played that way within reason and with some discussion prior, that's one thing. Otherwise, not so much.

(Verses/Characters below the cut.)

(THIS SECTION IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, AND FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR ANY CLARIFICATIONS I MIGHT NOT HAVE DOWN.)

IF INTERESTED IN PARTICULAR LOKIVERSE UNI-SPECIFIC CHARACTERS, SUCH AS OZ, LOLO/LOKE, AARON, BANE, CLAYTON, CUYLER, CHARMER, POPPET ETC: DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK.. OR BE AFRAID TO ASK WHO THOSE SPECIFICS ARE EITHER. I WON'T BITE YOU I SWEAR: THOUGH SOME OF MY CHARACTERS MIGHT..?

As there are several characters here spanning several of their own overlapping universes; I'm going to list the most prevalent below. Unless asked for a Lokiverse universe-specific muse, I will stick with he base line muse. Here's some of what to expect...

Loki (surname interchangeable depending on verse/era) -

Outgoing, complex sass machine with major trust issues that nope, don't just come from daddy: though Odin is second after 2011, to get most of his ire along those lines being he was King as well as his foster father with the most control of the situation and his treatment up until then.

Eloquent, adaptive and respectful; most of the time. Spiteful, dangerous and downright mean when he's pissed; he can also hold grudges: though he can be a bit of a sap, and sucker for good conversation, and earnest attempts at making up to set those grudges aside, often to his own detriment.

In response to his own personal history, consistently earnest or honest people tend to keep his attention. Tech savvy/curious, knowledgeable enough about he causeways between worlds that he often doesn't need either the Bifrost or a ship to move from one planet to the other among the nine realms, and possibly others outside of them: though he can pilot most airborne and waterborne craft having been raised and living in Asgard for 1000+ years.

While often coming across confident or casually laid back in demeanor, that isn't always the case: as it's generally part of his armor/defense against other forms of harm. Stand-offish with personal physical interactions that aren't a fight, past common courtesy; but very affectionate and playful once comfortable. Sometimes considered moody as a result. Often exasperated, or annoyed by people's tendency to judge and condescend without taking the time to know or bother to ask questions to understand him. Curiosity tends to rule his decision making outside of a serious or aggressive situation... well; sometimes, even in those.

(Lokiverse specific:) Has been learning shipbuilding since his early 20s as part of exploring the doorways between worlds he is later (2011) openly known to use. Lower tech transportation (and modifying it) and especially martial vehicles from other societies tends to catch his interest at weird times; motorcycles, older cars, boats and planes especially: the rarer or older, the better. Enjoys trying and learning new things, and occasionally meeting new people: though he tends to omit what he considers personal details, and will often avoid subjects or details he doesn't want to talk about: unless comfortable with the individual/s at hand. On the other end of that; Loki is rarely above simply dipping out of a conversation if he feels unwanted or offended in the wrong flavor: and definitely has no issue using magic or illusions to manage that. Pansexual, polyamorous.

(Most flexible of the bunch. I can pretty much adjust to any era with this one.)

(Keep in mind that while I can and will adjust to RP for Ragnarok-Endgame+ Eras/Verses, they will be played according to pre-Ragnarok characterizations. You will not get Waititi-conforming takes from this blog, or a take on any canon TVA inspired takes that followed in those footsteps either. Previous characterizations and resulting adjustments will be made for those eras: including post/IW era/verse. That said: 2011-2012 pre-Avengers, short mid-Avengers, mid-Dark World 2013 and any of the five years he spent under cover as king of Asgard separating the Infinity Stones is possible: though some will definitely need discussion to figure out the logistics. Remember; this dude is a 1000+ year old shape changer and illusionist of an interstellar prince of a warrior race, who was raised with both magic and what equates to super-spy skills on this level. If you wanna play with any version of him; we can figure that out pretty easy.)

(Hell and with this one.. boredom can be reason enough for him to be out and about to run across your character at almost any given time.)

Anthony 'Tony' Edward Stark aka Iron Man-

Sass master #2. Beware this punk's mouth. Sarcastic/Sardonic sense of humor, good taste in music; confident up front with a whole lot of commitment and self esteem issues under the surface. Angry about his daddy issues, and with good reason.

Workshop-aholic with trust, anxiety, and mostly-tucked-away self-worth issues: the majority of which he will brush at in joking if sardonic tones.

Bad heart history after 2008. These did not improve much until 2013, months before Greenwich's Convergence Incident; as a portion of his sternum was replaced in removing the arc reactor from it's embedded state in his chest along with the shrapnel there. While many have guessed that the scarring might have been removed --or rather regrown and replaced-- via geneticist Dr. Helen Cho's Cradle prior to the birth of Ultron, this remains unconfirmed.

Not above using big words out of the blue, though he really doesn't care to bother most of the time. If anything, he tends to skip entire chunks of dialogue to get to the point with much shorter, sentences; but good god will the man give you an earful if he's in a mood.. and more so if comfortable with his company. Has a tendency to give people weird nicknames; sometimes several in the same conversation.

Very reactive personality; he tends to test people socially in ways similar to how he tests his suits: by testing their limits. Though he rarely aims for it: this often pisses people off, and he is very aware of that. This habit becomes less as he gets to know an individual... mostly.

(This muse has a lot of availability options; and I am willing to do college years Tony both prior to and after Stark Sr.'s death, if interested.)

(Lokiverse specific:) Tends to be especially over self-aware and self-analytical in his relationships as they deepen; often to his own detriment. Very awkward with physical interactions; and will make excuses like 'I don't like being handed things' as one example, to avoid them at times. Among the examples of his habit giving ouit nicknames: Tony will often refer to Loki as 'Richard:' if not 'the Prince of Darkness,' 'Statuesque Giggle Monster,' or 'Mean and Green Two', for reasons you'll have to RP with him to find out. Partial/Seasonal Insomniac. Mostly shy about his late-life discovery of being bisexual.

(Very comfy with this dork.)

Clint Francis Barton aka Hawkeye/Ronin -

Passive aggressive with his own brand of sass in particular, Clint is sometimes considered grumpy as a result: and downright angry from 2018 to 2023 (between IW and Endgame.) The man who never misses is very defensive about his private life, and no wonder given he's spent his mostly as one of SHIELD's best assassins up until 2012-2014 (Avengers-SHIELD's fall in CA:tWS:) which led him into meeting Natasha Romanov as a former target who he decided to help escape the Red Room and defect, instead. Raised in his early years in Missouri; Barton later inherited the place and in his spare time tends to busy his hands with renovation projects.

Last to introduce himself without a reason or prompting; Hawkeye is the kind to either sit back and observe a situation and or person, and try to gauge both before becoming proactive. The only time this doesn't always apply is in an aggressive situation, as he is in possession of high perceptive skills, quick reflexes, and a very nasty temper that he is at least moderately self-aware of: and had grown mostly used to keeping at least moderate control of that most days has been a necessity, in staying alive in his previous profession alone. He tends to hold personal grudges, though within reason; most of the time. Probably the most normal demeanor among the abnormal individuals whom he's usually surrounded by; Barton's work and life experiences manage to affect a strange balance between pragmatism and morality most days of the week. Or at least, he aims himself that way (see quote in Specifics below.)

(Ronin.) After 2018 (Infinity War) Barton is ...a lot angrier, a lot more introverted on a personal level; and taking that and his grief out on the worst criminals left behind after the snap with very little of that control in place. Ronin-era/verse Clint is quiet and embittered individual at this stage while in the presence of others unless he feels the need to put in his two cents, the majority of which are usually lacking the optimism he had prior, and replacing it with a grim realism after the loss of his family. Loss and regret for retiring early has at this point and needless to say, has taken it's toll on him.

(Lokiverse Specifics:) Barton's internal pessimist often contradicts his need to toss the kind contrasting optimism that has him throwing out lines like 'The city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. ...Nothing, makes sense.' and still keep going at it. I tend to keep an adjusted version of his comic backstory with his father in his background; in large part because it does fit his character, drive and struggle as a person in the MCU in particular: "Sometimes a robber or super villain takes away the ones you love, setting you on a path to one day be a hero. Other times, it's a lot more simple. Like seeing what happens to someone you don't want to grow up to be like. " Bisexual, panamorous: prior to 2018 he is on an open marriage, quietly looking for another partner to join their family and maybe make it so he and Laura aren't looking at being quite so outnumbered as a secondary excuse. After 2018, he's harder to approach at all: alone for the most part, and pursued as an executioner-style vigilante by his remaining team mates including Rhodes until 2023.

[silkjade]

I'm glad you liked the brainrot. I honestly was not sure when I was typing it, if the direction made sense, but the more I typed, the more down the rabbit hole I fell. I wish I had this sort of focus when I have to do other stuff. It's a shame that writing a full fledged series is something that's always eluded me. I can do scenes-ish, but anything longer has always stymied me. I know you've talked about the mermaid lore in Teyvat and stuff like that in that ask and you mermaid reader! X Alhaitham fic, but I'm also curious if there's stuff about mermaids in Teyvat that you haven't touched on yet, but would like to. I'm not well versed in mermaid lore and have pretty much been using your ideas as a baseline. Stuff like, how have the mermaids been keeping themselves secret for so long? Or like, what happens to someone enraptured by their song (apart from the fact that they die)? You've sorta touched on mermaids being creatures who haven't been seen in years, so besides killing people who see them, can they end up giving people amnesia or something too? Or like, what is the extent that a mermaid's song can force a human to do something? Since it seems like some humans can sorta figure out when things aren't right and can snap out of it. Etc.

I'm just really curious since I'm playing around in your mermaid AU, and don't know the specifics. Lol

ahh this took a while to get back to, since I had to think about some stuff loool tbh my insp for the mermaid au came from all over the place, like i've just taken different ideas I like from different forms of media i.e. mythologies, folklore, the orig. hca fairytale, etc ! (also I hope you don't feel like you have to stay within the boundaries of my au, and that you're free to make up whatever you want LOL)

so I'm just basing on the most common/popular mythologies but mermaids lure you in with their song, and it's not that you just drop dead, or fall in the water, but it's about the temptation. Tempted by such lovely voices and faces that you'd sail into rocks, or fall in the water where you get dragged down, etc. So technically if one has enough willpower, they could resist and I imagine if you're already aware of mermaids and the dangers they impose, then one would be more likely to resist as well. I DID actually play with the idea of like "forcing humans to do smthg" kind of like charmspeak in the percy jackson universe if you're familiar? But idk i'm not sure yet lol And then I actually just hc them to generally stay deep underwater and don't really venture up to the surface much. If they do, it's generally not close to shore, so it'd be way further out at sea. They'd be just sort of legends as well I guess, where they probably existed a long time ago, but no one is really sure now, but there's still little folktales or whatever people tell

[1d1195]

Where tf do I even BEGIN!?!??

Sun Kissed part 1 was SO FUCKING GOOD OMGGGGG!?!? I seriously don’t know how you do it but it was absolutely adorable and filled with cute tension. I live for when the characters have chemistry that feels so natural and this is a perfect example! The way they met is absolutely adorable! Harry being all flustered and lowkey embarrassed himself with that “tits” line was actually so funny I was giggling like an idiot! He’s acting like a horny teenager and I don’t blame him bc if a pretty stranger did that to me I would lose it too!

To me both of them are just giving “sunshine” vibes because they both seem to just be so happy and falling HARD for each other! Now when that “kitten” nickname slipped I SCREAMEDDDDDDD OMGGGGGGGGG literally I was so happy we got a nickname!! I love the nicknames that you include in your stories and it’s a staple in your writing universe!

Now the thigh riding 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 literally could not think straight! Also I feel like you’re extremely talented when it comes to writing stuff that eludes to sex and like Turing them into like poetic stuff!

I found it so adorable that he caved first and was being insistent on her meeting his family 😭 he’s so obsessed with her and vice versa I love! It was just so cute!

And it’s NOT unfortunate that we have a second part! I adore your writing and I always am craving! This felt so cute and it make me wanna go to the beach! I loved it and you did great as always!!-💜

Okay in my heart of hearts I believe that Harry Styles is a horny teenager. I'm glad you liked the "tits" line I didn't know if it was too much hahahaha.

I def overuse kitten (I had an anon say that to me one time) but back in the day I had specific nicknames I used for each of the boys and Harry at the time was obsessed with cats (he is still, probably, right?) and I believed with everything in me he would always call his gf/love interest kitten. So I feel like it's a signature for my writing. Harry's pretty much always going to call her kitten. I have strayed away a bit from it and add in MORE little nicknames. (Although my next story that is not Sun-Kissed nor Protection, I think she's just 'beautiful' or 'lovie') Anyway. I'm glad you liked Kitten <3 I have actually been googling pet-names for girlfriends to keep up with the whole nickname in the universe haha so hopefully I won't run out!

I think it's very obvious I am OBSESSED with Harry's thighs. I literally dream about them. POETIC. You are so very kind. I get quite nervous writing about sex because I think I'm going to sound like a child lol so your compliment is literally the sweetest <3

I believe Harry is a simp when he's in love. I'm convinced.

Thank you thank you thank you for your message! I'm so so glad you enjoyed and it's so sweet of you to send all this feedback <3 I can't wait to hear what you think of the second part next week :)

xoxo

[upsidedowngrass]

AAAAA THANK U FOR UR TAGS IM GONNA READ THEM 10 TIMES OVER 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ My brain is in Bryce Mode again lol I forgot how INTERESTING he was!!!

But anyways the 10 year thing was never canonically stated!!! This was originally for an au thing where the Stella-Airy crash was canon for Maximum Drama. Realistically, since you have to be 21 in the US to drink in public, and the photo is a graduation, it's probably only been 3 years. Unless the graduation isn't high school? I've always assumed that it was though. Add in a few years for the Spiral Of Despair (just look at him. He's been like this for a WHILE.) and you'll get more like... 5 or 6 years? And not 10. But I still think my point stands!

IM GLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur post was SO GOOD !!!! bryce IS so interessting , i historically am SO biased towards protagonists so liam sits in my brain all the time but like. whenever i think about bryce im like ohhhhhh holy shit. holy shit

also I SEE I SEE!!!!! id seen u mention the 10 yrs thing ebfore so i wasnt sure if id simply missed something!!!! i think regardless of hc or anything tho, ur post DEF stands on its own???? as for the specific amnt of yrs its prob been , YEAH its def been a While. the loss doesnt come across as Fresh In His Mind (not in a 'i think its become any Easier way but in a He Seems Used To Grieving way) so its been at LEAST a few years, at MINIMUM making him like 21- esp ssince he was allowed to drink in the bar- in the events of the series (i dont Know if i think hes that young though. ThatPerson, when asked how old he thinks liam is said around his own age, and i THINK hed said early to mid twenties iirc?, and liam Went to college, and i think liam is about the same age as bryce and like. personally i think theyre both 23-24 MINIMUM. which also is still pretty young but thats also the Minimum. idk chaaracter ages elude me. i leave those ideas to people better at figuring out chaaracter ages but i DO still like making timelines)

i think it makes sense for stella to have died soon after him graduating though. id have to think on it more but like. ifeel like they wouldve lived together after graduatiing!!! and idk i think if theyd been able to aat All that stella and/or bryce wouldve Finally been able to like. Make Friends, and that following stellas death, bryce wouldve had SOME support system. but he doesnt. they never got the CHANCE to actually Make Friends outside of each other. so it being pretty soon after he graduated? feels like it makes sense (though it still IS possible for it to have happened a few years after he graduated, its not by any means Impossible it jsut feels More Likely for it to have been soon after, not long after)

and also man. that just makes me emotional about the idea of like.... stella having graduated long before bryce but Choosing to stay behind With him, because she KNOWS shes all he has and she wanted to look out for him. and that the MOMENT the two were about to finally leave makes me so. lays face down on the floor and bawls