#but the song has shown that it's still going to be very personal and heartbreaking

[melchinafan]

So Compulsion has shared a (spoilery, since the lyrics for each mythical creature explain their story) live-action music video they made for the Altamaha-ha's song. As with all the songs and snippets we've heard thus far, it sounds amazing, and this song in particular is haunting. And the lyrics, combined with a few clues from other videos, has changed my previous (tentative) theory on who the Altamaha-ha used to be. (A neat bonus detail: on the wall at the start of that music video, you can see a painting of an owl sitting on a branch. It seems to be similar, if not identical, to one that was shown in the developer direct video.)

It's also adjusted my theory on what Huggin' Molly's story might be. My previous theory for her feels like it would be too parallel to Altamaha-ha's, and the two of them don't seem to be bookending the story (which could've justified my theories being so similar). So I'm not sure that orca story is necessarily directly relevant...though it still could be pretty close.

It also just clicked for me that while Hazel is a formally-titled, magic-using Weaver...Huggin' Molly became a spider-like, red-yarn-using "weaver." I wonder if she knew about the magic users before she changed...

Massive kudos to the South of Midnight team for the attention to detail in environmental storytelling and character design! I know there's still a ton of stuff I can't even begin to guess at, but I've been able to glean a good amount just from the trailers, and it's all got me itching for more.

Some things I've been able to spot, just from these two screenshots:

I'd already kinda gotten the impression from Hazel's tattoo choker necklace and Lisa Frank-esque dolphin-rainbow tank top...but after seeing Lacey's half of a "best friends" heart necklace and jean jacket? I'd be shocked if this doesn't take place in or around the 90s. (Which is a solid choice, since it's a good way to limit having to worry about the question of cell phones.) Plus, if you take a look at their fridge, you can see magnets of the primary mythical creatures we'll run across! I listed most of them in the alt text if you can't tell what they are, but if I had to guess at the mystery cut-off one in the second screenshot...I'd say it's the Altamaha-ha from the announcement trailer. (Which I think is also maybe the purple-pink aquatic creature you can see for a split second near the end of the story trailer.) And...well, it's not visible in these screenshots, but in this scene Hazel also accidentally knocks a handmade mug off the counter. That mug has a bottle tree design on it, as featured in the game's logo and as important in-game magical elements!

Also fun is some of the detailing for Shakin' Bones:

His guitar has a Prospero license plate near the bottom (also seen on a half-sunk taxi that Catfish swims past in the gameplay trailer), which says CROS RDS (or "crossroads"). Below his arm you can see his name "Bones" carved into the face of the guitar, flanked by a couple Fleur-de-lis, and in a couple spots there's decorative blue paint (haint blue, I'd bet). Plus some short bits of bone (femur, at a guess), for both the bottom strap button and the tuning knobs. There's also a broken, rusted sawblade for a pickguard...which curiously has an elegant leafy design carved onto it. There's a similar leafy design carved along the top side of the guitar, too. Bones himself has a lot of different flora growing on him...at least two different kinds of leafy plants (small round leaves on his shoes, larger pointy leaves on his arms and neck), and some small brown mushrooms. And while I don't know enough about plants to recognize what those three might be, I'm pretty sure the flowers on his neck and side are swamp lilies. (The flower on his side is visible near the start of the announcement trailer, when you see him from behind. I'm also pretty sure I spotted some swamp lilies growing around Rhubarb's house in the story trailer, in their standard cluster form vs. Bones' unique singular flowers. Fun fact: for folks who play Secret World and remember a particular painting of some import in the Franklin Mansion, you may be amused to note that one of that flower's colloquial names is "seven sisters.")

There's also...well...these are a bit more spoiler-y, so I'll put them under a cut and try to keep it vague. But there's visual clues hinting at some secrets a few folks seem to have...

Less overtly secret, but still some story spoilers:

The most obvious thing at first glance in the first screenshot is the presence of Huggin' Molly's red yarn inside the broken wall. At second glance, and double-checking the start of the trailer to confirm the yellow paint and window style matches, this appears to be Hazel's house. But looking more carefully, one might notice that the exposed inner boards of the wall seem to have a little faded blue paint...suggesting that the house was protected with a hidden layer of haint blue (possibly in addition to the indoor wall paint that also appears to be blue), which wards off nasty critters. And with that ward literally broken, and Huggin' Molly being known in her real-world mythology to go after folks late at night, well... (Bonus fun fact: Secret Worlders may also be amused that the time on the clock in the first screenshot of this post is 10:10, as with Kingsmouth's clocks. Probably specifically 10:10 pm, not a storm-dark morning.)

And finally, a particular someone who seems to have deeper secrets:

(I linked the story trailer earlier, but the second screenshot is from the half-hour-long documentary.) The subtitles tell us this man is Laurent, and I'm curious about how significant his ear and nose piercings might be, given that he otherwise seems to be giving off airs of "responsible adult" (which typically does not permit such things). I have no idea who he is, exactly...yet his clothing choice and sense of decor are reminiscent of another design, which has shown up in the trailers and some promo/concept art that's been shared by the devs... But I'll let you dig up that connection on your own, if you're inclined to hunt down a bigger story spoiler.

[bedoballoons]

Hii! My b-day was on 8 of oct but I had to celebrate it today (2 weeks later). I threw a party, and invited 9 people, yet nobody showed up. Not even my closest friends. So, I would like to request if possible a hc with yandere Venti, Xiao and Ganyu and reader threw a party yet nobody showed up. If u cant do the request dw, I perfectly understand. Have a nice day and ty for reading my request!

Awwe I'm so sorry to hear that, I can only imagine how heartbreaking that was. Usually I don't write requests right after I get them (I go from oldest to newest.), but I wanted to get this out for you while it was still your birthday.

I hope it makes the day a little better! Happy belated birthday as well!! 🎁🎂🎈🎉🎊❤️

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎉𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎉

{༻~Happy birthday~༺}

CW: Yandere themes, slightly angsty with fluff at the end!

P.s. I haven't written Ganyu before so I hope she's not to ooc!

(Includes: Venti, Xiao, and Ganyu!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Venti:

You sighed quietly, watching as droopy streamers started fall from their places and brightly coloured balloons deflated by the second, even the cake looked depressed. It was your birthday and no one even bothered to show up..."What a great day to have been born..."

"Oh ho ho, someone has such a frown! Perhaps I can aid you in turning it upside down!" You perked up slightly upon hearing Ventis familiar happy go lucky voice, maybe no one else had shown up...but he had and you couldn't be more thankful, "Venti! You made it...thank you!" He chuckled sweetly, pleased beyond belief that he could make the most beautiful person in the world smile, "Of course I made it! It's your birthday and I want it to be a very happy one! Speaking of which, it's not much because...ehe I'm not the best with mora but..."

Your cheeks blushed a pink tint as the bard held out a small gift for you,...the first one you'd open. "You really didn't have to you know..."

"Of course I did! What kind of person doesn't bring a gift to someone's birthday, especially when that someone is as amazing as you!"

You bit your bottom lip, feeling slightly flustered as you opened the box...lifting up the lid to reveal a quill pen and ink, along with what seemed to be a small handmade notebook. The feather of the pen was what caught you eye as it was a bright sky blue decorated with small jewels of your favourite colours, "It's goregous Venti..."

"I figured together we could write fun memories in it and then one day after its full, I can use it to write songs for us both about our favourite moments."

𑁍༄Xiao:

"Are you...alright?"

That question seemed to sting more than it normally did, not only because the answer was a painful one...but because it was being asked on a day that should have made you happy...one that should have been all about you, if only people had actually showed up. "I'm...as alright as I can be. At least your here, I think if you hadn't appeared, I truly would have had to of celebrated all alone."

"Normally...I don't show up for birthdays, I find them crowded and feel that you should celebrate ones birth everyday, but your birthday is a special one. Someone as wonderful as you... deserves to be celebrated. I...even got you you a gift...though it may not be anything you enjoy."

You smiled slightly, watching as Xiao sat down beside you...setting a messily wrapped gift in your lap, "Xiao...I am going to love whatever you may give me, because it's from you."

His heart raced in his chest and as you began to open his gift he silently prayed to the geo archon you'd like what he got you, he'd spent hours choosing it.

You gasped, shocked to bouquet of Qinxing wrapped in adepti sigils, each of them were beautiful and smelled of the mountain tops..you couldn't even begin to imagine how long it took him to gather them all, "Xiao I-"

"The sigils will make it so they never wilt, they will always remain how they look right now...a symbol..of how I feel for you. A love that will never cease."

𑁍༄Ganyu:

Ganyu pulled you close, resting her head on top of yours while she hummed a lullaby and rubbed your back, hoping she could at least ease the pain you were feeling. Not even in her wildest dreams could she imagine how anyone wouldn't want to attend your birthday, she thought of you as the most amazing person to ever exist...a star roaming amongst a sea of darkness and a day to celebrate you to her...was something incredibly special.

"I'm so sorry no one else made it...perhaps they all got caught up with work or other things and just couldn't get out of it?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Ganyu...I highly doubt everyone just somehow got busy on my birthday...thank you for trying though. I'm sad I didn't get to have alot of people, but having you here, it's enough to make my birthday perfect." Your words left her speechless, she loved you more than she could truly handle and hearing that she could still make your day perfect after all that had happened...

"I have a gift for you, I thought long and hard about it, made sure it was absolutely perfect for you." She moved away from you just long enough to retrieve the gift, it was wrapped in a pale blue paper and scented like flowers, you hadn't even opened it yet and you could see how much effort she'd put into it, "Awwe Ganyu this is to much, you didn't have to.."

"Oh but I did...please open it, I think you'll love it."

You smiled at her, carefully peeling back the wrapping paper and opening the box just enough to see what was inside. "Oh my gosh...it's a plushy and it's handmade, Ganyu did you-"

"In between shifts I learned the pattern for you and made sure it was sewn the absolute best I could. I've never made anything like it before and I was worried I wouldn't finish it in time...but I wanted you to have something that showed my determination and attention to what you like. I also figured it could help you sleep."

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚*⁠.⁠✧Happy birthday~

[thesweetestdevotion]

Hello, can you please do a reading for BP Jisoo's new mini album that will be released on 14th Feb. Will it be well received by the public? will it achieve success and popularity?

Blackpink Jisoo Feb 14 Mini Álbum Predictions:

Dice: 5th House, Leo, Moon

Her Energy: The Star, 9 of Coins, Ace of Cups, The Empress Reversed, The Hermit Reversed, 5 of Swords Reversed, 10 of Swords

Idk why but I keep hearing Singapore? So maybe that place is relevant for some reason, could be random though. Anyways I see that she is very stressed and could even be in physical discomfort, but I also see that she is very internally optimistic about what she has done so far. I think she’s hopeful that the work and sacrifice she has put into her project will really pay off. She may really be proud of the things she has come up with creatively. I think she’s hopeful, probably isolated herself a lot to write and create her work and she put in a lot of energy into it, especially neglecting other parts of her life in order to bring this to light. So its great that she’s able to be optimistic at this time and feel like she is stable and proud of her work despite the stress.

How will It be perceived by the general public?: 9 of Swords, 5 of Coins Reversed, King of Swords, Knight of Cups, The Fool Reversed, Queen of Wands, 9 of Wands Reversed

The public might actually see that she is tired. They may see that her energy is exhausted, but also there is an appreciation for her work. I think they are familiar with her so they will very open to her new music. They see her as a very creative person but they may also feel like she’s playing it safe? I think this release will be very well liked by people but they may feel like its not innovative or different than what she has done before. I do see some people who will really dislike it for this reason, and we may see some criticism of her as well, although I dont think the album will have a negative impact overall. I just see people expecting a lot more from her? Or wishing she was more experimental and varied in her music. I think some songs or clips will go viral though, which means her sound is still very widely appealing for most people!

By fans?: 9 of Cups, The High Priestess, 8 of Coins, King of Wands, 10 of Wands Reversed

I see that the fans have waited for this for a while. They are going to be really relieved and happy about this release. I think they will appreciate the hard work she has put into this a lot more than other people, and they will be very proud of her success. I think they feel like this release has sort of elevated her or shown what she is capable of creatively. They are going to be very happy haha, not surprising but it’s a very positive energy so I’m glad to see so much support here. I really feel like most of her fans are going to love it and show a lot of support and care for her! It’s so cute hehe. I think some fans have been nervous regarding her? Though I’m not sure what it could be about specifically.

Success of the release?: Two of Cups Reversed, 7 of Wands Reversed, 3 of Swords, The Emperor, The Moon, 8 of Cups, Knight of Wands, 3 of Wands, 10 of Cups, The Chariot Reversed, Ace of Coins, 7 of Coins

This is really interesting because as I have said before her release is going to be very successful, especially financially. But somehow i feel like jisoo is going to experience some heartbreak due to receiving private criticism from an industry senior/another artist/peer that she really looks up to, they may be older or have some sort of seniority over her. I see that this person is going to show a lot of dissatisfaction with her work and is going to tell her, and probably not in a very nice way. I think jisoo may really take this to heart at first, and although her work is going to be publicly successful, we may see her pivot to doing something else in the future. I see that this sadness and disappointment is going to lead her to be inspired creatively and she is going to channel a lot of energy into a different kind of project, maybe a new sound or creative process that will really elevate her to the level that this peer sees her as being capable of reaching. I think she is going to want to walk away towards something new to show this person what she can truly do and make them proud. I see that this person may be overly harsh, but jisoo is going to take it really maturely. I’m not getting clues as to who this person is/what they will say to her, because the moon came out. So this will be something that jisoo deals with in private. But in public, shes going to be successful plus we may also see clues that she is being inspired and trying out new things after this has settled. Anyways, I wish the best for her and her career!!

xxx

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – my heart is nuclear

joomi doesn’t really know how he ended up here.

okay, maybe he does: one text to moon jinyoung, because he said, one time, while he was drunk, that they should go out drinking sometime. to joomi, the right time felt like following next gen and their mutual...complete failure.

for joomi, it’s okay. he was more afraid to win than he was to lose, so it comes as a sort of relief, even if returning to regular life is just as bizarre as it is welcome. for jinyoung...it’s very far from okay. joomi could tell from the moment the results came out on next gen finale night that jinyoung wasn’t okay, and he also knows, from spending weeks training alongside of him, that becoming an idol is truly jinyoung’s dream. he knows jinyoung wanted a contract to one of those companies more than anything, and he was far sadder for jinyoung on that night than he was anything for himself that night.

he spent the next few days always on the verge of texting jinyoung, but hesitating. for one: would jinyoung even want to hear from him, or would joomi serve as some reminder of his own failure? second: what would he even say? he wanted to thank him for his help throughout the show, and tell him he thought he deserved to win, but he didn’t want to make matters worse. instead, he just ended up offering to buy drinks if jinyoung wanted to see that suggestion he made on seollal through.

so he and moon jinyoung sat, a bottle of soju between them, at that same bar they first fought at; the same bar where jinyoung leaned into joomi’s personal space, and he has, somehow, never quite left since. joomi is pretty sure he needs to have that moment surgically removed from his mind at this point. he wonders if jinyoung even remembers at all.

he wonders even now, as he sits, far from relaxed, on jinyoung’s couch, because jinyoung decided, after a few drinks, that he didn’t actually want to drink. he wanted to...bake something, apparently, which required a trip to the grocery store, which joomi also paid for because he still felt bad and he would’ve paid for more drinks anyway.

he also wonders if he should just leave. he did his job here, didn’t he? he bought jinyoung drinks, and then set him up to bake whatever it is he wants, which apparently might help him more than drinking. joomi knows better than to think jinyoung actually wants him around.

right?

is joomi delusional enough to think they’re actually friends by now? jinyoung showed him quite well how he really felt about him the week they practiced frost, with him being as cold as the song title itself. yet then, he opened up to him while preparing for their final performance, and they were together on seollal, and joomi slept on this very couch one day after next gen filming. they should be friends, but they still don’t feel like friends. joomi thinks he would like to be friends, but part of him is afraid, and he doesn’t really know why.

no, maybe he does know why: because moon jinyoung is charming and funny and has a good heart, underneath all of his annoying bravado and idiocy. if they are friends, and not enemies, or at least two people that hold each other at arm’s length, then...joomi isn’t safe. he isn’t safe from trusting him, with his unignorable heartbreaker streak, and joomi doesn’t want to trust him. he doesn’t want to trust him, because he knows it will hurt. it doesn’t matter what unexpected kindness jinyoung has shown him, because there is still the rest and there is still the fact that joomi trusted someone that treated him better than jinyoung and it was the worst decision of his life.

there is something magnetic about jinyoung, though, and maybe that’s why he stays, glued to this couch, while jinyoung does whatever it is he’s doing in the kitchen. joomi wants to help, too; to do what he can to help jinyoung heal from this devastating defeat, but he knows he would probably stay here regardless.

* @bejinyoung

[pixies-and-poets]

I was going to send this ask earlier, but I got sidetracked by life.

I hope you're enjoying my Phandrow playlist as I am! I hope I did your story justice, and I actually wanted to tell you why I chose certain songs for this ship. Now, a good portion is self-explanatory (Phantom of the Opera, Edgar Allan Poe, dramatic love songs via Dracula and the Addams Family), but it's the very first four songs that I believe are truly the embodiment of "Of Curses and Verses".

The Gloom - a ballad of sorts about depression, describing a person who lives in the gloom. This is the introduction to Woodrow AND Phantom, two different characters who find each other within the shadows of their misfortune.

Disappear - a tragic and heartbreaking love song that holds on to whatever spark of hope (ha!) is left. Like The Gloom, Disappear is Phantom and Woodrow spilling their hearts out to each other while hanging out inside the fallen moon in Pallette Prime. They're both very unlucky in life and they reach out to each other, desiring to be understood yet worried about the limited amount of time they have.

The Dark Ones - Now this one is more of an fan interpretation, as this song is a combination of Phantom's quote, "...and damn the consequences", and Woodrow's overwhelming urge to write his poetry shown through creeping nightmares. The Dark Ones tempt our sad boi poet into giving up his creative abstinence and relish in its misfortune. Also, I imagined this as an animatic where the embodiment of unluckiness, in the form of Phantom, seduces Woodrow and thus driving him into madness a la running into the woods. 👉👈

The Dawn - The bittersweet end of the story. Things have been somewhat better, both lovers are still depressed and yet there's a sense of freedom between them. Their love didn't die with the Gloom, and they both live for each other as they comfort each other through their worst times.

I swear, every time I think about "Of Curses and Verses" or Phandrow in general, these two become more and more like a Gothic novel couple.

Oh I totally getcha, "Side-tracked by life" is the story of my... well, my life, lol

But YES, I appreciate all this so much- you really seem to understand the appeal of them as a couple in the same way I do, and what I was trying to do in the fanfic. Rest assured the playlist will serve me as plenty of inspiration in the future, for both drawings and fics :D Because I will be obsessed with them forever even if Phantom comes back in the Rayman DLC and looks directly in the camera and says "By the way, I met Woodrow. Can't stand him." I WILL STILL MAKE IT WORK. I BELIEVE

And by the way, when I get back to Music of the Night, it definitely focuses more on the monstrous/dark temptation aspect... it's a shame I'm going on a trip this weekend because I actually want to write more RIGHT NOW

[silenceforetold]

Is love a feeling or a choice?

Before I begin the actual intention of this post, I would like to disclose that To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before had hastily become my favorite series of movies ever since Netflix’s first debut of the first installation. That could perhaps in huge part to having a modern, racially conscious film with a mixed Asian woman as the lead character, but it also might be due to the fact that I find myself relating to Lara Jean Song Covey as a person. With that in mind, you can feel free to call me out on personal bias if you think I might be too affected by rose-tinted glasses.

I also would like to say that my post will likely predominantly talk about the most recent and final addition to the To All The Boys universe, To All The Boys: Always and Forever, because of the fact the plot felt far more personal to me. That could just be because it’s been 11 years since I graduated from high school (lets be honest, though, high school is never like in the movies or on television anyway) and the first two movies felt very high school while To All The Boys: Always and Forever felt much more mature and adult. It spoke to me at a level much deeper than the previous two.

All of that said, definitely expect massive spoilers. And, yes, I am currently reading through the books from which the movies are based on. I can happily tell you that I am on the second book with no intention of stopping, and that the books are as dear to me as the movies.

As you grow up and begin your exploration into the world of love, romance, and relationships, you always hear stories and watch media that tells you what love should look like. More often than not, our first encounters with love are when we are still adolescent and learn of Lancelot and Guinevere, Romeo and Juliet, and maidens who find their shining knight or handsome prince. We grow up influenced by Romance and fairytales, shaping our expectations on fantasy and magic. Not only this, but we have the concept of “the one” or “one true love” and ���soulmates” ingrained into us as the pinnacle of a fulfilled life’s achievement.

But then you grow up and experience heartbreaks, and you realize that love is not like in fairytales or movies or on television. Love does not come as easy as breathing, and you do not find yourself having an instantaneous, almost soul-crushing love-at-first sight sequence.

Admittedly, the first two To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before movies did have that air of sappy, cliché romance that is to be expected of all love stories that revolve around two teenagers, but there is a significant shift in the third as the characters themselves tackle moving into adulthood.

Rest assured that I will not make you endure an entire synopsis of the whole film, but I will give you the points that are relevant to this entire post.

In this installment of the To All The Boys universe, we are blatantly shown that the leading male character, Peter Kavinsky, suffers from abandonment issues stemming from how his father left their family and divorced his mother. We are also shown that, after the divorce, Peter’s father was not present any longer, essentially divorcing the entire family rather than just his wife. In one scene, Peter confides in Lara Jean that he has a deep seeded desire (as a result of his father leaving) to be chosen by someone else. As Peter says himself, “there’s nothing worse than feeling not chosen.”.

You can probably already see where exactly this movie is going, especially when you keep in mind that both Peter and Lara Jean are nearing the end of their senior year in high school; meaning that college applications and themes of where your adult life will begin is at the forefront of the plot.

At the start of the movie, it is stated that the hope for both characters is to attend the same local university in which Peter has an athletic scholarship. That plan is disrupted, however, when Lara Jean is rejected and forced to consider different universities. Of her list, she has two universities about an hour drive from Peter’s university, but her elder sister Margot convinces Lara Jean to also apply to a university on the east coast. Lara Jean mentions this fact offhandedly, explaining she only humored the notion because her sister believed that everyone needed to apply to at least one university on the east coast for the sake of diversity and experience.

During a class trip to New York City, Lara Jean visits and falls in love with the campus of New York University thus making her hopeful of the prospect of attending while simultaneously wondering if their relationship could be maintained if she made that decision. Lara Jean is allowed to push the idea from her mind so long as her application is still under review, allowing her to slip into a stage of denial that subsequently allows her to maintain her avoidance of communicating with Peter about the possibility.

Ultimately, and to no surprise, she is accepted into New York University and forced to finally talk to Peter about the future that she wants. Peter, who had been hoping that Lara Jean would choose another more local college and eventually transfer into the same college as him, immediately slips into his struggle with abandonment and accuses Lara Jean of choosing to leave him rather than choosing to put him and the future of their relationship first. As he claims, “you chose to be as far away from me as possible. You chose distance” and refers to her dismissal of another local college as evidence for not choosing him.

Lara Jean and Peter find themselves faced with a few questions, but the most imperative being:

Is love above all obstacles a feeling or an active choice?

On my own experiences with love, I came to the conclusion that real love is 10% the romanticism that is promised in popular media, 40% compatibility with one another, and 50% an active choice to love and stick with a person even when perhaps it would be easier or more convenient to be emotionally detached.

A relationship is always doomed to fail even if love abounds if neither party chooses one another time and time again, just like a relationship will not be healthy or fulfilling if both parties choose one another but lack compatibility or feelings.

As I sit here writing and contemplating, I beg the question: if someone is unwilling to choose you, then do they even love you at all? Yes, perhaps in some way, but not in the way of true love. After all, different types of love exist and a person can love many people, but that does not mean they enter a committed, long-term romantic relationship with everyone that they love.

The act of choosing is not always physical, however, as what Peter believed in his expectation for Lara Jean to prioritize attending the same college as him. In fact, one could argue that Peter was actually being selfish and choosing himself over Lara Jean.

My point could perhaps be best driven by quoting Lara Jean’s father: “you can’t save [a] relationship by not growing”.

This particular quote actually brought back to me the memory of a man’s story that I once had the pleasure of reading (unfortunately, I cannot recall where, but I believe it a forum of some sort). He spoke of his relationship with his wife and how she was ever-changing into a new woman, and how he had to choose to fall in love with the new her every single time rather than reject her. People change and the only thing that never changes is the fact that things change, and so we must all choose to adapt with that change or be left behind in it’s wake.

No one is immune to growth and attempting to avoid it is always to your detriment. The attempt to not change could actually bring about the doom that you fear most and try your hardest to avoid. Not only that, but it is a disservice to both your partner and yourself to stunt yourself from growth simply because you fear that your growth may also come with growing apart. That is, of course, a very real possibility, but so is the possibility of you growing together.

You must make the active choice to stay with one another and see which direction that growth will take you, which requires understanding yourself and honest communication. You must actively choose to make the hard decision of staying together through the unknown and allowing a positive possibility. You must continue choosing one another until a moment comes that you definitively do not want to choose one another any longer.

The film ends with Lara Jean narrating with a montage of she and Peter moving to their respective colleges, stating that:

“Life is beautiful and messy and never goes according to plan. And the truth is, I have no idea what it has in store for me. But I do know that love, real love, is choosing each other through all of it, every single day. Beginning and middle and end.”

If that is what Lara Jean and the original author of the To All The Boys novels trilogy, Jenny Han, believes… I would very much like to believe that too.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

hello! im not usually active on here (i use twitter more) but i stumbled on your asks while scrolling through my feed and after reading some, i realized that we have the same stance on chapter two. when it was announced that each member would be releasing their own solo album, i was super excited. ive loved everything each member has put out before including collabs and their songs on soundcloud so, of course, i was excited to see what this chapter had to bring! looking back, i have no idea how my feelings abt this changed so much.

it was definitely after face that i started to get a bit tired with all the releases but i still streamed and kept up with all the content because i truly do love all their solo works and wanna give all seven members my full support. i was definitely a bit overstimulated with how much individual content we were getting, which could be why i started to feel these things, but ive always shown my support.

although im vmin biased and adore the layover album with my whole heart, i definitely think layover era was definitely my breaking point. twitter has become so insufferable and has just created a space so negative that its hard to even enjoy anything. i was so excited for layover but everytime i would go on twitter, solo stans would be tweeting nonsense and comparing numbers and its just all too much. this has been a problem ever since chapter two started but i never saw how bad it was until now and its honestly heartbreaking. i miss when there was no division between the members and everyone was supported equally among the fandom. ive spent a lot of time on twitter and would just block solo stans and call it a day but its come to the point where its impossible to just block and ignore bc theres way too many! chapter two has definitely fueled their narratives and given them more confidence for some reason but i truly hope theyre gone when 2025 comes around.

even some fans have started acting like solo stans but hide behind the fact that theyre heavily biased. theres clearly a difference in how armys treat the members and it definitely shows more with how they treated each solo release which is just disappointing. i understand people have different music tastes but would it hurt to act excited for a member that you supposedly love?

ive never noticed this before but this chapter definitely showed some armys true colors. this chapter also did an amazing job of fueling solo stans and their narrative that their favorite could go solo and leave bts behind, which is completely untrue and none of the members would actually want that. because of this, twitter has become such an uncomfortable space and has definitely made me less excited abt future solo works which ive never thought would happen since i love new bts music.

im definitely gonna take a break from twitter until jin comes back but for now, i really do wish i was able to enjoy chapter two without such negative feelings. i was truly very excited but looking back, i see how rushed everything was and although im glad each member was able to shine in their own way and explore with different genres, sometimes i wish this chapter took a different approach or just never happened. im hoping this feeling goes away when bts are fully seven again but i dont know. i just felt the need to let that out since ive been feeling this way for so long that i started to feel guilty bc ive never had such negative feelings towards bts before.

and of course, this is no hate to bts! i love my boys and have gone all out for all solo releases. im more just ranting abt army twitter and how they kinda ruined this experience for me which isnt the boys faults at all.

Your feelings are valid! You don't need to feel only positive things about people you love. Think about the people you love most that you know personally. Have you never been disappointed in them, with or without reason? Have you never been irritated by them, irrationally or righteously? Have you never wanted distance from them, because you wanted space or because you were upset with them? People only have these kind of unrealistic expectations about love when it comes to their favorite celebrity. Having mixed feelings about people you're close to, or even love, is just life.

Fandom is a large part of being Army - I mean, it's right there in the name -, of course bad fandom experiences can "turn you off" from the group. Before this blog actually started to resonate with some people, I wanted to delete it and hated myself every time I posted because I felt that all I did was spread hate - even when it was more political and not really about BTS themselves. I felt so alone and it was hard being a fan. Then, because of my Jikook and Jungkook posts, more people started following me and interacting with me - for example, sending me asks like this - and everything changed. Now I know that if I don't like something, I can share it, and someone will most likely feel the same way. It makes a world of difference...

I don't think I was ever that excited about chapter 2 tbh. And, unlike you, I definitely was disappointed by most releases. Most of it grew on me over time though, and I genuinely appreciate everything BTS has accomplished in chapter 2. I had so many mixed feelings about Jungkook, and still regularly get annoyed and disappointed, but when I see everything he's been able to achieve... like having the fourth most streamed song on Spotify this year??? With 3 months of tracking? Being the first Asian act ever in the top 5?? That's crazy. His music is so loved, and he's done so many cool things... I wouldn't trade solo era for anything. I really believe they needed this. There was always so much talk about BTS having no individual branding, and everyone wondered how well they would do solo - I'm sure BTS themselves had these thoughts about how they'd manage on their own - and now we/they know. They did great!

Obviously, chapter 2 made solos worse and fueled petty competition between the members, but I don't think it was that bad? These issues have always existed in the fandom and I don't believe chapter 2 made things that much worse. I still see so much support for OT7...

Honestly, I'm OT7 but I love Jungkook way more than the other members... I only streamed for Jungkook because otherwise I didn't have the motivation to stream songs I didn't want to listen to that many times. I think it's impossible to expect everyone to have the same energy towards every member. I listened to every song and album in chapter 2, and watched most of the performances, but with so much content, I couldn't be bothered to keep up with most of it. I have, like, 10 Jungkook lives as well as radio interviews and other videos of Jungkook to watch still.

Another point, I think it's easy to get caught up in fandom battles. I found myself pitting JK against Jimin, for example, because I saw so much of it and maybe I'm naturally competitive? You just get sucked into the bullshit as well. Even if you're not a crazy toxic fan, Twitter can change you.

Sadly, solos will still be around in 2025, and a lot of them will still be crying out over mistreatment and other bullshit. Now the members have "legitimate" solo stans too - ie. people who became fans during solo era and didn't bother checking out, or liked, the other members.

There was definitely so much content that it was overwhelming, but that's BTS tbh. I've just been a fan since 2019, but I was only not overwhelmed with content in, maybe, 2022?

This post kinda got away from me, but, yeah, take a break from Twitter, don't feel bad for feeling tired and overwhelmed with all the content (what Army isn't tbh), and my ask box is open anytime you want to vent!

Thanks for the ask!

[alyjojo]

Next Major Life Change 🐛 September 2023 - Pisces

What It Is: Gates of Triumph 🌅, 2 Cups & Justice

Your next major life change is love 💖 From the very first card drawn, I keep hearing that Mama what’s-her-face song from The Princess and the Frog. With whoever came before, you didn’t yet know what you needed. I forget the name of it, it’s been awhile 🙃. You didn’t before, or you still don’t, it won’t be the same for everyone. But you’re receiving the Justice you deserve in love, or WILL, which is likely to shock the hell out of you with The Tower. Now, for some, a dream beyond anything you’d imagined is coming true - 10 Cups. For others, there could be a divorce or major split here, and what you thought was 10 Cups is not turning out to be that way. There is a very happy story and a very sad story, but what they have in common is they’re both heading the same direction, both have been sad at one time.

Why It’s Happening: Strength, Temperance, The Fool rev

You’re being rewarded for the Strength and restraint you’ve shown during your heartbreaks and losses, which has probably been very hard to do, having pulled Strength to describe it. That’s giving it everything you’ve got. You’ve maintained patience, calm, balance, as best as you can, and you refrained from doing anything too foolish, impulsive, reckless or reactive���though 5 Swords shows boyyy were you tempted 💯 Others may have acted this way towards you. You didn’t act out of desperation or chase people, and you didn’t try to force people’s hand, or try to make them change their mind, even when/if they were being cruel to you. You held it together with grace, and deserve all of the blessings for it. If this is what you’re going through now, then this is what’s being expected of you, self-control, keeping the fierce lion inside of you awake, but tame, controlled. If people leave, let them.

Advice: 4 Swords, 8 Cups, Death

This is all inward. 4 Swords indicates a need to take a time out, meditate, get inside your head a little and either review these current feelings or the ones you used to have, about the things that never worked out and the people that didn’t want to stay. Ace of Wands rev is the point of it all, you lost your passion, your hopes, dreams and inspirations. You were very sad. And some of these Deaths may have been another kind, even more painful.

The clarification of this shows flipping this Ace of Wands around is Justice for you. Finding your passion, inspiration, joy, dreams, happiness, what excites you? 7 Pentacles shows it will take time or already has, some of you are past all of this. You never saw what was on the other side of this, or don’t - The Moon, your energy. And in grief or sadness, it’s hard to. On the other side of this is The Lovers and 10 Pentacles. Your soulmate, a dream come true, everything you either can’t see now, or couldn’t see then. A side note I’m getting is one or two of you may decide a lover is never what you really wanted or needed anyway, and you were once focused on all of the wrong things. In that story, this would be self actualization and acceptance, your dreams being realized via career, that’s what makes you happiest - 10 Cups. You didn’t know that then. Gates of Triumph is like 6 Wands, victory, success, recognition. The person in this card is being celebrated for their journey, with people that know what it took for them to get there, everything they had to go through. Give yourself a lot of credit, forgiveness & self love. You deserve all of the happiness, and your dream come true…but expect changes in those dreams from what they once were, and have faith that Spirit knows what you need. The right thing can’t come in if the wrong thing is blocking the path, allow things to flow how they need to, and if it’s painful give yourself a big hug and understand that something is coming that will make you see why nothing else could’ve worked 💖 What this looks like won’t be the same for everyone, it feels like out with the old & in with the new, no matter which area of life it’s affecting. A dream come true.

[undergoing-mitosis]

gonna expand on this cause the death note special interest in me started vibrating when i was playing the new story quest and i need to get this out

(i wrote a whole ass essay by accident, tried to break it up with colours and bold bits and pictures for people with adhd like me who can't stand a wall of text 🫡)

first of all, have a collection of quotes from hugo from the epilogue part A:

"There are some people whose only purpose in life is to bring more suffering into this world."

"Sometimes, murder is what brings justice back into this world. And for that, I must stain these hands with blood."

"If fate is not willing to give me justice, then I'll just have to cease it with my own hands."

"For a permanent and absolute victory, we must endure the pain of cutting away rotten flesh, and persevere through the darkest hour before dawn. Someone has to do it."

now, take a variety of quotes from light yagami:

"This world is rotten, and those who are making it rot deserve to die. Someone has to do it, so why not me?"

"Look around you, and all you will see are people the world would be better off without."

"I am justice! I protect the innocent and those who fear evil!"

"Evil only gives birth to evil. And if those wicked people commit sins and run wild, then the weak will learn to commit crimes, and even try to justify their actions in the end."

"There was no other way, the world had to be fixed!"

now, it's obvious that light and hugo have a similar worldview, a view of society as fundamentally rotten and broken, and a belief that they can fix it (hubris go brr). they both believe that sacrificing one human life can save more, and that murder is necessary for change. and ofc they are also both twinks wearing suits with a flair for the dramatic who are often depicted with scythes, but that's besides the point.

what i believe is more interesting is the differences between them, and how this affects their characterisation and actions.

more below cut 👇

firstly, light is tainted with arrogance. he wishes to place himself on a level above humans, sees himself as a god, and believes that he is the only person capable of bringing about this change in the world. he never sees the flaws in the way in which he is changing the world, dissociates terms like "murder" and "serial killer" to his actions, and one of his most fatal mistakes was the result of blinding anger when someone dared to call Kira's actions evil. in comparison, hugo's whole speech to the proxy before his betrayal shows that he has almost the opposite view: he is very aware that what he is doing is wrong, and is willing to be the villain in this story, sacrificing himself and his morals for the good of the world. the most heartbreaking part of how he distanced himself for vivian, hurting her in order to keep her safe. he will do anything for the outcome he desires, but this comes from a place of broken vengeance and ruthlessness rather than one of arrogance and delusions of greatness.

ironically, light's characterisation in the JP musical is more similar to hugo, as shown through the song "hurricane": this depicts light as more of a martyr, willing to sacrifice himself and take the fall for the good of society. (not applicable to the EN version, where light is just as deranged just as quickly as in the manganime.) this initial naïvety makes his fall to the same arrogance and delusion we see from the start of the series that much more impactful, since light was depicted as a genuine antihero rather than the manganime-canon-typical seeing a slippery slope and grabbing a sled.

however, despite how much older hugo is (i'd guess 25-35) compared to light's 17 at the start of canon, i would say that he is still not without some naïvety and ignorance. though lesser than light's, it's obvious hugo has a very skewed worldview influenced by his past experiences, and we still don't know is his way truly is the right way as he believes it is.

i liken this to an amazing light yagami line from "where is the justice" from the EN death note musical, "perhaps it's time we change the colours [of the world] then, till we're back to seeing black and white and wrong and right again." regardless of how nuanced hugo believes himself to be, i think he still sees in black and white, and thinks he has to be the "black" to rid all other "black" from the world, bringing "white" back into it. because he betrayed the vow and killed a person, he is now automatically evil, and so must use his evil for good since he is beyond saving. he says "this is the true me", but really i think that is just the "me" he wants himself to believe he is, because that is easier than dealing with the consequences of his actions. so, in truth, hugo is pretty naïve and childish in his view of both himself and the world, he would just rather stew in bitterness than face his guilt, whereas light has no guilt to feel.

now, let's talk about the original question i posed: if hugo had a death note, what would he do? well, personally i think he would do something very similar to what light did: kill those who he sees as a "tumour in society" to scrape it out and leave only the clean bits. and he would trust nobody to do this but himself. he'd probably end up killing TOPS rather than criminals since it seems like his bitterness lies towards high society and corrupt individuals with power, rather than light's thing of criminals who go free/don't get the proper punishment.

however, one interesting character arc that i believe hugo would go through, and i hope hoyo is cooking up for him in part B of the epilogue, is the loss of oneself. one of the key themes of death note is humanity, and it poses a key thing that makes us human as flaws. light wants to be greater than human, but by putting his mind and body through what no human should have to, he loses himself to temptation, power and corruption. no human is perfect, and so likewise no human can have a perfect resolve that cannot be broken down or corrupted. and so, in the end, nothing changed: light was left unsatisfied, his craving for power never subsided, he grew bored, and he died as a pathetic man with no power over life or death like he believed he had, his name in the death note like all those criminals he killed without mercy, and as the anime montage so gorgeously shows he ruined his own life and was the seed of his own destruction. personally, i much prefer the interpretation that the seed of evil was already inside light, like it is in all humans, and the death note was only the catalyst. theoretically, this means hugo could go through something similar: like light, he wants to shape himself into a perfect piece on a chessboard with the ultimate goal of enacting justice. but hope can he trust that he won't be corrupted by the power that corrupted so many others? how can he be sure that his plan will actually be for the good of the world, and he won't lose himself along the way to evil and rage and ends up being the catalyst for his own destruction, just like light was?

i think there are two ways you can take this arc. either, hugo has a rise and then a downfall and becomes a disgraced man beyond saving, like light. OR, and what i personally hope will happen, he gets a redemption arc and realises that he's lost who he was, and i really fucking want lycaon to be the one to bring him back from the brink. that way hugo will have shown lycaon that the world is more nuanced and bitter than lycaon wants to believe, and lycaon can show hugo that there is still good in the world, and that hugo deserves to live his life and not just become a chess piece, a means to an end. hugo obviously wanted to destroy himself, and i really hope that lycaon won't let that happen cause deep down he cares so deeply. toxic doomed yaoi, anyone?

anyways i guess we have to wait for a month for the next part of the story to come out. UGH im on the edge of my seat.

then also there'll be antagonising parallels between crownwolf and lawlight given how lycaon was tasked with being the one to kill hugo if he went beyond saving but may end up being his saviour after all, whereas L and light were always destined to be each others downfall and both of them caused the death of the other and auuuuuubbbghhjjj

also fuck i love a good redemption arc

thanks for reading if you got this far. fuck i just noticed how long this was my audhd really took over on this one 😭

please tell me your thoughts on the comments i need to brainrot 👇👇👇

nobody give hugo vlad a death note he would do horrific things with it

[movementsofmylife]

bad buddy ep 11 (rewatch)

how many times does pran pull out his entire (extremely intense) set of markers and not use them:

total so far: //// /

this episode just leaves me in tatters, in a very different way to ep 10.

this episode is so fucking sad. like, in the really accurate way sadness like this shows up. where of course they go fishing, flirt, hang out, smile, laugh, but the baseline emotion for this episode is this sadness. it's this kind of exhaustion and the knowledge that somethings hanging over their heads.

its the kind of sadness that somethings over and choosing not to look at it can push it away for a bit, but the ending still permeates the episode.

there's so much sky in this episode. they're really shown to be together in spaces that overtake them. but also together in the world in public, outside and not hidden, always looking at each other.

there are so many shots in this ep where you can see they're both struggling and tired. and still they choose each other.

also the parallel that pat asks pran to not talk about something, where the last time at the village pran asked pat. ugh this show.

i really love the domesticity

and pran never chilling with the manipulate malewife vibes

also the way pat looks at pran in this ep.

and patpran in the foreground with tong and yod in the back. like a sign of: people can stick to what they believe in and still get old and live good lives, even if its tiring. this show doing the queer it gets better shit but in one shot and perfectly.

the emotional turmoil is never about their relationship for pran they're a certainty. through the whole episode it's clear that they're grappling with their parents and the fallout and not with each other and i deeply appreciate that.

the space to have complicated difficult emotions without it becoming a problem in your relationship, that's some rare shit (in a bl but also in life lol).

his stare omg

this fucking line and the confidence of its delivery. pran has never doubted pat this whole time and it fucking shows. god.

this top tier pran face. truly 11/10, incredible.

i love this speech. it fully makes me cry every time.

also, relationships are hard. and the things you like about someone can change, they can become annoying to you, or they can disappear. the fact that the thing they both chose about each other are, being nosy enough to be helpful and being a lot in every way, they're saying that they know that the other person isn't perfect and nor is their relationship. but they chose them anyway, because of it and not despite it.

just yeah, they deserve so much of this and more. i'm so glad they get it.

:')

babieees

and the other conversation that also leaves me in tears (this ep is just tears for me).

it's pat coming back to pran's 'as long i have you' and responding in kind. letting him know that pran's enough for him too, and they can hide and live how they need to because he's realized that.

it is heartbreaking that this is what they have in the end. it's the ending that pran had already realized and accepted, finally being acknowledged by pat. because they might not be breaking up but they are. they're losing the relationship they could have had, an easy comfortable one supported by everyone they know, and instead have to carve out a tiny space to survive. and they do it because they know that this space is precious to them, but it's still fucking sad that they had to. (and again, this show is so queer, because these are the relationships and decisions that so many queer people have to make every fucking day and bb conveyed it so well and with such nuance)

and then this song, which i love. and this lovely incredible inkpa moment.

but also the fact that kornwai show up in this montage and then didn't get together. like p'aof knew what the fuck he was doing. and yes, unlike the other two couple they're leaning away from each other, but fuck you can't just drop them into a love song montage and not have it imply things. it implies things!!!

ok so i'm sure no one was thinking about this but this scene reminds of this fucking k3g scene where the father comes and blesses the couple and my mind can't let it go. because it feels like with the line "the world didn't change me either" tong gave his blessing for patpran to live the life they wanted to lead. and idk i'm always emotional about k3g connections.

and this final shot, to really just dig in the knife in my heart. the closing with the knowledge that this will be the last time in a long while that pran gets to sing out his love for pat, and that part of them choosing each other is sacrificing other parts of their dreams.

i'm just fully not ok about this ep and likely never will be. i'm sure that is clear from the ramblings above.

[imagitory]

So my seventy-year-old mother and I saw Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio in theaters the other day, and it’s official —

We both like this film better than the Disney version.

Admittedly Pinocchio has never been one of our favorite Disney films nor stories in general, but we still do think of the Disney version primarily when we think of the story, just like a lot of people do. I do think Disney’s songs are much better, and of course the animation in the Disney version is gorgeous — but just about everything else, Mum and I like better in Del Toro’s film.

Pinocchio in Disney’s version just sort of naively follows whatever the last person told him to do in the beginning, with few feelings or opinions of his own. When he gets roped into being an actor by Foulfellow and Gideon, he just completely forgets about school or about Geppetto. Jiminy Cricket even explicitly tells him to tell Foulfellow he’s sorry, but he has to go to school, and mere seconds later, that advice has gone in one ear and out the other. Del Toro’s Pinocchio, however, remembers that he wanted to go to school and obey his dad — he instead only intends to go to the carnival and then to school, but gets distracted by how fun it is, which is a very normal thing for a child to do. And when he sees how upset that’s made his father, he joins the carnival in a misguided attempt to make things right. Del Toro’s Pinocchio embodies the essence of a child much more accurately than Disney’s version to me — the hyperactivity, the enthusiasm, the desire to please — and never fails to show that however much Pinocchio learns about the world, he’s still just a kid.

Disney’s Pinocchio never really gets much time to bond with his father, nor do we really learn much about Geppetto or why (if he so desperately wanted a child) he never just adopted one — Del Toro’s Pinocchio and Geppetto’s relationship is so much more heart-wrenching not just because Pinocchio was a drunken, rushed attempt by Geppetto to try to recreate his lost son, but because both of them have to learn a lesson and grow beyond their flaws and mistakes. Del Toro’s Geppetto haphazardly building Pinocchio out of drunken grief perfectly explains both his motivations and fleshes out his character and personality so much, and the conflict regarding suddenly having Pinocchio as a son after having lost Carlo is so believable and heartbreaking.

Disney’s Pinocchio is brought to life by a seemingly omniscient Blue Fairy who decides to only half-grant Geppetto’s odd wish for Pinocchio to be a real boy. Del Toro’s Pinocchio is brought to life by a much more chaotic, mysterious, and mercurial pagan entity, which better explains why Pinocchio isn’t magically made human, as well as the strangeness of the premise itself. Her being less aware of humanity or even the trouble Geppetto and Pinocchio would go through because of her choices also makes her less of a deus ex machina in the story.

Disney’s Pinocchio has a very one-sided relationship with Jiminy Cricket, where Pinocchio is intended to learn lessons largely based on Jiminy’s advice, even though Jiminy honestly is no saint either. He can be incredibly condescending and judgmental, as well as hypocritical — yet he’s treated by the Disney film as the moral center. Del Toro’s Pinocchio both learns from and teaches the similarly self-absorbed Sebastian J. Cricket, and they both grow through their experiences both together and apart. Their relationship comes across as much more heartfelt, to the point that Sebastian literally residing in Pinocchio’s heart upon his death is just…AUGH, it wrecks me!!

Disney’s Pinocchio seemingly forgets about his “friend” Lampwick the moment he leaves Pleasure Island. Del Toro’s comforts Candlewick, teaches him to be brave, and even protects him from his terrible fascist father. And yes, even if it’s not shown in the movie, I steadfastly believe Candlewick survived and he and Pinocchio were best friends for the rest of their lives. :|

Disney’s Pinocchio centers around the idea that when you do good, good things happen to you — but the problem I have with that is that what is considered “good” is largely framed as doing as you’re told and not doing what society dictates is delinquent behavior. Yes, it’s good to get an education, and yes, Stromboli was a bad man and you shouldn’t trust strangers — but there’s nothing wrong with going into show biz instead of chasing academics if that’s really what you want to do, and it seems strangely like victim-blaming, to punish a child for getting tricked and manipulated by ill-meaning adults. The same might apply for Pleasure Island — yes, perhaps it’s not healthy to smoke or drink lots of alcohol, and no, you shouldn’t get into fights or damage people’s property…but does that truly justify these stupid children turning into helpless donkeys for the rest of their lives, with seemingly no chance at rescue or redemption? Pinocchio gets a chance to make amends and do better, so why don’t the other boys?

Del Toro’s Pinocchio, however, is about — in Sebastian’s words — “doing the best you can, because that’s all anyone can do.” Pinocchio wants to be good and do good, but what’s “good” isn’t always so simple to define. It isn’t always doing what you’re told, but it’s also not always doing what you want when you want, either. And ultimately, Pinocchio’s innocence and relative immortality (at least at the beginning) makes it easier for him to break the strings that have been tied around his loved ones — the strings of obedience to a cruel carnival man, an unloving father, or even a fascist dictatorship.

Then of course there’s the ending, where Del Toro’s Pinocchio becomes a “real” boy without having to change himself on the outside — and better yet, lives happily while still never having to change. And yes, the ending states he’ll probably die someday too, but that is also completely okay.

So yeah. Go see this movie in theaters or watch it on Netflix, if you haven’t already. It truly is a wonderful experience and I can’t wait to watch it again! ✨

[caliform-ula]

me by mauricio zelaya in brooklyn, ny (oct 2022)

2022 has probably been one of the craziest years personally. after going through a brutal heartbreak, i took a step back and had to take time to myself. i felt extremely disconnected during the first half of this year. so many things in my personal life felt like they were drowning. i lost some people that i swore would’ve been there forever. i moved out of the east village, and spent an entire year living alone in nyc. everything hit me at once, and for a while it was a scary place.

it’s been well over a year since i’ve put any music out. i must admit, it’s a pretty wild feeling. i couldn’t write new music for a really long time. i was sitting on songs that i used to love, but told a story through a lens that was no longer mine. i tried over and over and hated new every idea. everything was too fresh and still painful. it wasn’t until around march, when i had a writing session that finally reinspired me. i felt so connected and heard for the first time in so long. it was such a healing feeling. i finally had my spark back. after this, i started writing more than i ever had. pushing myself further and further felt so incredible. i’ve now written some of my favorite music in my entire life this year. it’s a very vulnerable side that i haven’t really shown before.

i took a few really amazing music trips this year. i spent time writing and recording in los angeles, boston and nyc (of course). i even had the opportunity to play my first ever showcase in LA - which was such a dream come true. i’ve met so many incredible new collaborators and friends. and you know what? it never would’ve happened if it wasn’t for all of the pain that came before. it pushed me so far out of my comfort zone for the better.

i don’t want to spoil too much, because there’s so much more to tell in 2023. but i can tell you, i’ve never been more in love with music. i started from scratch this year. as scary as it was, it was worth it.

i’ll see you next year :)

love,

nicolas 💌

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically  and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her  to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend. 

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did. 

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way. 

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina).  Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s  protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[yoonjinkooked]

retry | myg

a request from @namsope32​ (sorry for the wait hun 🧡)

Pairing: Yoongi x (f) reader Genre: angst, break-up AU Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: heartbreak, exes to somewhat couple again, cursing, mentions of drinking, Yoongi is emotionally constipated. Synopsis: What happens when he finally realizes that you’re not around anymore?  REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN

Communication was never something you found easy - and neither did he. However, after being together for such a long time, you thought that at this point, you’ve both reached the point of knowing where the other stands, without many words being exchanged. 

You were wrong. Only one of you had that power and the other was completely oblivious. 

Because you did notice. You did notice how he had become more quiet than usual, how he had stayed at work longer and how his texts have gotten shorter. And at first, you didn’t think much of it. We all have our ups and downs and we don’t always know how to channel them well - you too were guilty of occasionally transferring your work or personal problems to other aspects of your life. So, you said nothing, held back the passive-aggressive behaviour that was threatening to boil out of you. In fact, you did the complete opposite. You did things to make him smile, sent him good morning text when you’d wake to an empty bed, wrote cute post-its if you were the one making lunch boxes for the week. 

And nothing changed. In fact, with each passing day, you could only feel him slipping further away from you. Or maybe it was something you were imagining and things had stayed the same - but it didn’t matter at that point, because same was no longer good. 

With a heavy heart and a lot of guilt, you have decided to close the door and cowardly, not offer him an explanation. You simply decided to stop calling, stop texting and stop spending nights at his place. Locked up in your own apartment, listening to sad break up songs and drinking probably unhealthy amounts of wine, it took you a week to accept that at best, he hasn’t even realized that you were over and at worst, he knows and is fine with it. 

You were a coward, yes, but so was he. In every way except verbally, he has shown that he no longer wants anything to do with you. Which is why you were genuinely surprised and completely caught off guard when you opened the door of your apartment only to find him on the other side, with an expression that told you nothing about what is going on his head - Yoongi always was a champion in hiding his emotions, after all. 

“How can I help you?” you ask, hoping that you’re not appearing as bitter as you feel - because as bitter as you feel, you don’t want to have a scene on your hands or make the situation worse. The wounds are still fresh and adding salt to them wasn’t going to make them heal any faster. Then again, neither will Yoongi’s presence at your front door. 

“You just…” he starts, pausing to rummage his mind for the right words. 

“Disappeared?” you suggest. 

“Well, yeah.” 

“I’m surprised you’ve noticed,” you comment, going against your desire to keep the bitterness away. “I figured that I should do both of us a solid and stop the torture - spare us the drama, spare you the emotional conversation and all that goes with a break-up.” 

“Break-up?” he asks, eyebrows skyrocketing. “Is that what this is?” 

“You can’t be serious,” you laugh in disbelief - there is nothing happy about the sound that leaves you. “Yoongi, I have been away for like… almost two weeks? And you only just figured it out? And you’re surprised? We broke up a long time ago - we just didn’t make it official till now.” 

“And I don’t have a say in it?” he asks, very obviously frustrated. That comes as a surprise, as you… you simply didn’t think he cared. “You just decided that a relationship of three years can be ended without a single word, without asking me where I stand?” 

“Where you stand?” you repeat his words in disbelief. “Yoongi, it took you two fucking weeks to notice I was gone to begin with! You were as cold as a wall to me - just like you were when we had met. You closed yourself off, practically ignored me and all the efforts I’ve made. Every single thing you’ve said and done in the last month of our relationship showed me where you stood more than your words could - despite my efforts. What do you want me to do? Stay with someone who doesn’t want me around?” 

“I do want you around, Y/N,” he sighs, leaning against your doorframe. “I hear what you’re saying and you’re right - you’re completely right and I did you wrong but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you around. And I did notice that you weren’t around. Fuck, how could I not? But I just… I thought that you wanted space.” 

“And I did. I do want space. And I don’t wanna continue using all of my energy trying to save something that isn’t worth saving. You can’t expect me to give this relationship my all when you give nothing. It’s tiring and honestly, humiliating. I’ve never asked for much and you know that, but you can’t completely cut me off when you feel like it, then act surprised when I do the same to you - and not as an act of revenge! It’s self-salvation, not revenge,” you elaborate, realizing that he might actually think you’ve left to teach him a lesson. That’s… not the truth. You left because you didn’t know what else there was for you to do. 

“You needing space is completely valid but it doesn’t mean that we need to break-up,” Yoongi starts. “I don’t want us to end. Especially not because… I’m fucking verbally constipated when it comes to sharing emotions and…” 

“I can handle your verbal constipation, Yoongi,” you save him from the explanations, seeing very clearly that he’s already struggling to find the right words. “I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating you. But you can’t just… shut me out like you did. What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to know? And you know I’m not good at these stuff either - how could I have just come up and asked Baby, why are you pretending I’m a houseplant? Was it something I did or is it ‘it’s me, not you’?” you ask. 

“Well, if you had asked I would have said that indeed it is me, and not you,” he sighs. You open your mouth, ready to snap back at him but he notices. “Not that I shouldn’t have offered that explanation myself! Work… work’s been complete hell, Y/N. I don’t know if I’ll have the job next month, I don’t know if I’ll keep my position or if I’ll be demoted - it’s just bad right now and I didn’t want to take it out on you in any way. And in my attempts to not take it out on you, I just kept it bottled in.” 

“And you didn’t say a thing,” you nod your head in understanding. You get it - you too have had periods when you keep your mouth shut instead of explaining the situation properly. “I get that. But you need to understand that it doesn’t take a lot to say it to me on time. Because if you did, I either would have offered to help you, or if there was no way for me to do that, I would have minded my own business and given you space. I wouldn’t have thought you wanted nothing to do with me. We need to talk, Yoongi. Both of us, not just you. We need to talk about this shit if we want to make it work.” 

“Does that mean that you still consider us a couple? Because what do we work on if you’re dumping me?” he asks. You roll your eyes, feeling relief when that reaction of yours makes him laugh. The tension deflated, but it still hasn’t gone back to the level of comfort that the two of you share. And it’ll probably take it a little while to get to it - but it isn’t impossible. 

“Let’s take it slow, okay?” you suggest, smiling when he eagerly nods his head. “I’m still a bit pissed and you’re still stressed and forcing anything would be a bad idea at this point.” 

“What do you define as slow, though?” he asks. “Can I call you? Can you come over for dinner this weekend? I can cook something for us on Saturday?” he suggests. 

“Sure, let’s do it like that. And then we can talk about what’s happening, okay?” 

“Got it.” he nods his head, offering you a final smile and an awkward wave before turning towards the elevator. It feels weird to see him off with a goodbye kiss, or to even have him leave to begin with - but it’s necessary. It’s still too fresh and although you have complete faith that the two of you will fix what needs to be fixed, a little bit of space will only help.

[magicboytrash]

MHA: Save Rock and Roll

So I had this MAGNIFICENT realization today. Save Rock and Roll (Fall Out Boy’s arguable best album) lines up with some of my favorite characters. So I’m going to break it down. More below page break!

The album starts off strong, with The Phoenix. 

This song deals with an absolute shit ton of fire imagery, which initially drew me to the Todoroki boys. However, the motif of changing, and rising up from the ashes reminded me of a certain... dusty man. The Phoenix in my opinion symbolizes Tomura Shigaraki. Shigaraki is incredibly impatient, always pushing forward to reach his goal, and feeling like things are stacked against him. This song perfectly encompasses this

Symbolic Lyrics:  One maniac at a time we will take it back You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start

The next song is a more mellow tone, Young Volcanoes

I was super torn between two very drastically different characters for this one, but finally settled on Tamaki Amajiki. This song feels like a dying summer, almost melancholically happy. It’s a song thats not full of words, but more-so feeling. Tamaki is quiet, with a shy happiness, much like this song.

Symbolic Lyrics: C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered Run it up the flag pole

Next in line is Alone Together

When I first heard alone together, I knew it would be for someone with a troubled past. I settled on someone who I feel genuinely seeks companionship while overcoming their past. Shoto Todoroki is exemplified in this song 110%. He trauma dumps to anyone who listens, and is overcoming his past with friend/companionship. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  But do you got room for one more troubled soul I don't know where I'm going, But I don't think I'm coming home

Fourth on the album is Light ‘Em Up

This song could very obviously be about Dabi, but it felt more like a character who is fundamentally flawed, but hides behind a facade. Dabi owns his flaws, where as Keigo Takami. The hero commission is fundamentally flawed, of which Keigo is aware. Yet he still shows loyalty to a fundamentally broken system. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  My childhood spat back the monster that you see

Next up is The Mighty Fall

I immediately knew this character would be one to view falling in love as showing vulnerability. Vulnerability for them would be very rare to be shown, and it would be someone whose bonds are near unbreakable. Obviously for this, I felt Katsuki Bakugou was perfect. He is a character who would absolutely view it as “the mighty falling” when he falls in love. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  They say I got screws missing, well hell, only when I'm missing you And, hell yeah, I'm addict, girl, addicted to you

My favorite song on the album, Just One Yesterday

This song immediately read to me as someone who wants what other people have, and views themselves in both a self-hatred and self-deity kind of way. Essentially, they’re at the corner of God Complex and I Hate Myself Avenue. I felt this song reflected Hitoshi Shinso. This song deals with both a feeling of yearning and a sense of determination.

Symbolic Lyrics:  I don't have the right name O-o-o-or the right looks But I have twice the heart Anything you say can and will be held against you So only say my name

The coolest music video on the album, Where Did the Party Go?

This song has dance party, and vibes written all over it. Therefore it goes to resident party animal, Denki Kaminari. Denki has very relaxed energy when it comes to relationships with people, and this song definitely embodies that, set to a dance-type beat.

Symbolic Lyrics:  My old aches become new again My old friends become ex's again, yeah Oh where did the party go?

Next up is Death Valley

This song feels like someone holding on regardless of the circumstances, no matter how stacked against them they are. Eijiro Kirishima refuses to give up, regardless of how badly he is hurt. Death Valley deals with the feeling of giving it your all, even if it won’t be enough. 

Symbolic Lyrics: I'm either gone in an instant Or here 'til the bitter end I, I never know

One of the most complex songs on the album, Rat-a-Tat

This song is a call to arms. It urges the rejects of society to get on their feet and respond. It’s also an anthem to people wishing for a world they belong in. For me, that is Touya Todoroki/Dabi. Touya longs to have been accepted by his father, yet he never was. There are so SO so many lyrics that make sense for this song to be Touya. 

Symbolic Lyrics:

1.  To get on St. Peter's list But you need to lower your standards 'Cause it's never Getting any better than this

2.  Remember me as I was not as I am

3.  I'm the lonelier version of you I just don't know where I went wrong

Getting closer to the end, we have Miss Missing You.

This song (especially with recent episodes/manga) is heartbreaking when applied to a very specific person. Shota Aizawa has so many people he will carry with him, in his heart and memories. This song feels like Aizawa sitting down with Class 1-A and being honest with them about the hero lifestyle, and that the heroes do not always win. Its heartbreaking when you look at it through this lense.

Symbolic Lyrics:  Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person that you'd take a bullet for, is behind the trigger Oh, we're fading fast

The titular and final song on the album is Save Rock and Roll

One listen to this song and it becomes apparent that it is a hero who will defend his beliefs to the hilt. For us, that is Izuku Midoriya. Izuku understands the flaws of both sides of the coin, and has chosen to become a symbol of peace that truly everyone can unite behind. Save Rock and Roll deals with the resentment heroes feel towards those who helped put them in their positions of power, and their resentment of society for needing to be saved. Yet Izuku (and the protagonist of the song) still answer the call to heroism. They follow what is truly right.

Symbolic Lyrics:  Well, how'd it get to be only me (me, me, me, me)? Like I'm the last damn kid still kicking that still believes I will defend the faith