#but the reason i'm here now is because of a no bullshit agreement

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I grew up with a lot of "relationships are hard" mentality around me and always thought, "If a relationship feels this hard, it's not worth it," and I thought for awhile that I had commitment issues because I'd date someone and be able to see that it would end at some point.

I know my background. I know how many fucked up relationships were modeled to me as just what it's like to be in a relationship. I was never blinded by hope, but I worried I was cut short by cynicism.

And then Sean and I started dating. And we hit six months, and my brain went immediately to, "Well, if it ends, it'll end like--" and then there was no end to that sentence.

And I was fucking floored because I had an end to that sentence for my other romantic relationships. And, yes, I was only 22, but it wasn't about maturing to an understanding about adulthood. It was the fact that somehow, in my fucked up and weird life, I'd secretly built a list of what WOULD work but never looked at it.

At 22, suddenly, it looked like that. Six months into dating this guy, the end result was...not an end. It didn't feel real. But I also deeply wanted it. So, I did something I had never done before: I went for it.

It's not always been perfect or easy or simple, but I went into the long-term idea with a sense of WANTING and WORKING for it. And that's the difference. Relationships AREN'T always easy. But if you're aware you need to unfuck shit as you go, they GET easy.

I don't remember when it pretty fucking easy, but it did. I've compared it previously to the fridge kicking on. The fridge makes the same sound every time it kicks on to cool things. You know it. I know it. We all ignore it because that's just a background sound to your life.

But if the fridge CLUNKS? Stop. Pay attention. Look into the clunk. Talk about the clunk. Make a plan about the clunk. Move forward having heard, acknowledged, and discussed the clunk. Because that is NOT the normal sound. THAT is the sound you evaluate and check in on.

And the answer could be, "The clunk is gone" or it could be "The clunk is much softer, and we're both okay with it." Both valid responses. But you can't ignore the clunk. If you ignore the clunk, you're fucked.

People who say "marriage is hard" or "relationships are hard" and complain about the same clunk over and over and over, the problem isn't that everyone hears and ignores the clunks. The problem is that THEY are choosing to ignore the clunk. And even as it gets louder, they still act like everyone hears the clunk and also thinks it's normal.

I think most of us know one or two of these

[luvyeni]

𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ! ㅤ ㅤ𓂃 ㅤ박성훈

CHAPTER NINETEEN. cabin fever ... 「 materialist 」

ㅤ୨ৎ no one in your friend group couldn't understand why you and sunghoon stopped being friends after freshman year of college; they all chalked it up as for reasons only you and he knew about , you and sunghoon couldnt get along, and when he threatened to tell your brother something your deepest darkest secret you called him a virgin who couldn't read to your 24k fans and the name spread throughout the campus…ㅤ

𓂃 🎞️. chapter warnings. a little angst , mostly fluff word count. 3048

pulling into the driveway of the cabin; turning off the car. “we're here.” both girls jumping out of the car. “my god yn you need your license revoked.” yeojin said , yoon nodding in agreement. “oh please we survived.”

“yeah we did, barely we barely fucking survived.” you scoffed climbing out of the car. “don't forget we have to drive back.” you said. “yeah unfortunately so let's have fun now just in case we don't make it back home.” you rolled your eyes, smiling because you were happy; happy to be here with your friends. “let's have fun , let's go into the house it's cold.”

“we're here!” you shouted , your suitcase dragging behind you. “where is everyone.” yeojin walked around the cabin. “kitchen.” you made your way to the kitchen , hearing all the voices. “yn!” jungwon jumped off the chair , hugging you. “won , we do go to the same school , i see you every day.” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around the boy. “and you still manage to not see me for days at a time.” he said. “just like when we were kids and lived in the same home.”

“hey yoon.” your brothers cheeks red as he talked to your friend; you shook your head , jake coming up next to you. “look what i got.” he ushered you to look down , a small bag filled with the green leafy substance. “don't tell sunoo , he told me yesterday not to bring it.” you nodded. “later?” he raised his eyebrows , you nodded. “later.”

“where is sunoo?” you looked around for the host. “him jay natty and julie went shopping at the market.” you nodded. “your room is upstairs.” ni-ki said. “it's 5 bedrooms , the couples get there own of course— so that's sunoo and jay , julie and natty and sunghoon and mina.” heeseung rolled his eyes , eyebrows raised. “hey yn let's pretend to be a couple so we can share a room together.”

“absolutely not , she'll sleep with yeojin and yoon and you'll sleep with us.” jungwon said. “take your bags upstairs.” you scoffed. “who's the elder here?” he was quick to fight back. “who's the smartest.” you scoffed. “i am.” he mocked you. “bullshit we both know i'm the smartest.”

“who's the brokest?” his lips formed a pout. “she won bro let it go.” jake laughed. “just go put your things up, they should be back soon.” the three of them making your way up the steps to the room. “oh my god , when did sunoos parents have all this money.” you were in awe with the room. “sunoo will forever pay for any outing from here on out.”

the three of you just dropping your luggage off , you sat down on the bed. “you coming back down?” you nodded. “yeah , just need a minute.” yeojin stopped , sitting down next to you. “you okay?” you smiled. “fine , just need a second.” the two girls respected that. “just come down when you're ready, okay?” they left you alone , you let out a sigh— he wasn't there; you can't believe that was the first thing on your mind , but old habits die hard you guess.

hearing how he and mina would be sharing a room made you sick , of course it's not like you could say anything without raising suspicions. you began to overthink everything — was this a good idea? coming here? you had only made up with him, but the feelings you always harbored for the boy never went away, and now you're here with him— and his girlfriend, the same girl who pretended to be your friend for years in front of everyone, but behind closed doors was a monster. you couldn't blame them for inviting her since you never even said anything.

you stood up; you weren't gonna let this ruin your trip, you tapped your cheeks , looking into the mirror. “you aren't in highschool anymore , pulling yourself together.” you said to yourself. “you're hot.” you opened the door , stepping out of the room — crashing straight into a body. “oh shit yn!” you heard his voice. “you okay?”

you stood up , brushing yourself off. “i-im fine.” you cringed , “i’m fine.” he nodded. “you're here?” he said , you nodded , finally realizing his state , which was naked , well he did have a towel covering his lower half. “oh shit , i just was showering.” he covered his body. “i was on my way to my room.” he pointed and you realized; his room was right next to yours. “it's great you're here,” he said — and you wish you could stop staring at him. “yn?” you looked up at him. “you sure you okay , you look like you've seen a ghost.”

you were about to say something; but you both were interrupted. “yn what's taking you so- oh?” natty stood there , eyes looking in between the two of you. “i accidentally bumped into her.” sunghoon said. “why are you naked?” natty turned to you , you shook your head no. “i was just coming down stairs.” you quickly confessed. “yoon told me you were up here and you seemed upset.” sunghoon turned to you. “upset? are you okay.”

“i’m fine i swear.” natty grabbed your hand. “your girlfriend is downstairs and she annoyed sunoo the entire trip to the market.” he sighed , nodding. “here i come.” she hummed. “yeah , make sure you're clothed , let's go yn.” she dragged you away. “he's good looks good.” she said. “i see why you like him.” your face was red. “don't let anyone know i said that.” you nodded , both of you making your way down the steps.

you greeted everyone who was at the market; mina standing on the other side of the island , shooting daggers into the side of your face, she wanted you to look at her; and thanks to your brother who you couldn't blame really— you were forced to look at her. “yn aren't you gonna say hi to mina?”

you gave the girl a tight lipped smile. “hello.” she walked over to you , wrapping her arms around you , your eyes widened. “it's been so long since we've had a vacation together , i can't wait to have so much fun with you.” she squeezed you tight , what most people would think is a cute old friend meet up after a while , almost half of you in that room knew otherwise. “yn help me out the groceries away , the rest of you go find something to do.” sunoo pulled you away from the girl. “the hell is wrong with her.”

you and sunoo prepare the food for jay to cook , gossiping while chopping the veggies for the soup. “hoonie , come!” you heard the shrill of minas voice , looking behind you at the couple, sunghoon made eye contact with you , just as the girl wrapped her arms around him. “don't mind her , she's just trying to get under your skin , look.” you turned back to them , sunghoon was grabbing her wrist , pushing it down , you couldn't help but smile.

after jay got finished cooking; all of you sat down to eat; the boys cleaned the kitchen up while the rest of you got everything ready for the game night. “soju , where is it?” julie pointed to the kitchen. “i'll get it.”

“i need the soju.” you walked into the kitchen. “can't you get it yourself?” heeseung asked , plastic gloves on his hands. “yeah , but i bet you'd look much cuter getting it for me.” you winked. “here.” sunghoon handed you the bottles of alcohol. “oh thank you.” he smiled , nodding. you took the bottles walking out of the kitchen. “i got them.”

while everyone was cleaning a few of you showered ; putting on your pajamas for the night , before making your way back down the steps. “those are your pajamas?” jungwon asked. “should i go put on the onesie i keep just in case my brother wants to be in my business?” you sat on the couch , the fire going warming the living room. “her pajamas are fine won , let your sister breathe.” jake said. “thank you love.” you sat down next to him.

“you two are cute , aren't they cute hoonie?” mina asked. “i always thought they'd be cute together even in highschool.” you and jake looked at each other , then at the girl. “yeah i guess.” sunghoon mumbled under his breath. “wait.” ni-ki said , the youngest one clearly not reading the room. “i thought jake and yn were rivals in highschool?”

after a interesting game night; having to endure minas side comments; it wasn't all that bad though, you had your friends making you laugh— not to mention catching sunghoon staring at you multiple times , smiling when you would register him, your face would turn red and you'd had to put your head down , blaming it on the alcohol. “okay , maybe we should stop , we all know how yn gets when she's drunk.”

you rolled your eyes at yoon , about to speak up when you heard mina speak up. “you're still a sloppy drunk yn , i thought you'd grow out of that in freshman year of university.” the room went silent for a second. “what's that supposed to mean?” sunoo asked. “oh nothing of course , that's just how me and yn play.” she looked at you. “right yn?” you nodded. “i guess.” you shrugged , feeling like that girl from highschool again. “im actually tired , I'm gonna head up.” you stood from your seat. “good night everybody.”

“has she lost her fucking mind , what gives her the right to say something like that.” sunoo said. “shh , she's next door.” natty said. “i don't care , i only invited her because of sunghoon and he doesn't even seem like he wants her here , no one wants you here!” sunoo yelled , yeojin covering his mouth , you a giggled quietly. “i swear yn all he did was look at you.” yoon said. “and how would you know if you were too busy staring at her brother.” sunoo said you gagged. “gross.”

“hey.” jay knocked on the doors. “i guess that's my que.” sunoo stood up. “mines too , julie is probably waiting for me.” you nodded. “we have to get in relationships , it's always us three.” yeojin groaned. “we're gonna be old cat ladies.” she said. “hot old cat ladies.” you said , she nodded. “you got a point.”

the night slowly came over the cabin; it was still, quiet, everyone probably sleep on laying down , settled in for the night�� except the people next to door. “they’ve been arguing for 30 minutes.” yeojin groaned , eyes closed. “i can't hear what they're yelling about.” yoon snoring beside you. “i don't care , some people are trying to sleep.” she shouted , the arguing ceasing. “see.”

she quickly fell back to sleep , you got up out of bed after removing yoon from on top of you. getting out of bed. the floor cold , making you shiver as you head towards the door , opening it — only to find sunghoon in front of it , about to knock. “oh hi.” you said. “hey.” he whispered. “i see you're still a night owl.” you nodded. “that and yoon snoring.” he smiled. “im sorry you had to hear that.” he said. “she's sleep now so.” you waved him off. “yeojin was just sleepy don't mind her.”

“yeah and im still sleepy , so if you're gonna talk get out.” your face turned red , you stepped out of the room. “she's like you.” you scoffed. “im offended.” you said. “she's tens times crazier.” he laughed. “crazy nonetheless.” you both stood in the hallway , before you spoke up. “you want some hot cocoa?”

you both made your way to the kitchen , where he watched you prepare the drinks , your back turned to him , allowing him to look at you a little longer. “here.” you handed him a cup. “let's go sit.”

taking a seat on the couch , taking a sip of cocoa. “so tell me , why were you two fighting?” he frowned. “i told her the comment she made about you.” he said. “told her it wasn't cool , that you were friends and she was wrong.” you tapping the rim of the mug. “you two are friends right?” he asked. “i haven't talked to since…” you trailed off. “oh.” he said. “it's fine , some people just- things change.”

“that day you called.” he started. “you don't have to- no i want to tell you.” he said. “that day you called , i didn't know you were on the phone.” he said , “and i didn't mean it like that.” you sat your cup down. “how did you mean it then?” you were ready to have the awkward conversation if it meant putting it in the past and moving forward. “you said it meant nothing to you.”

“i know , but it was a lie.” he confessed. “i was upset.” he said. “why , did i do something wrong?” you asked. “you don't remember?” he said. “believe me hoon , i think i would've remembered.” you said. “well mina , she told me , she told me you slept with me out of pity , she told me how you said you felt bad because you'd never feel the way i felt about you , and i still followed you around like a puppy , i only slept with her because i was drunk , she took me back to my frat , she came on to me and i guess i just let it happen.” his eyes were in his lap , your lips were flat. “i never said that.” you said , he looked up at you. “what?”

“i never said that , why would i sleep with you out of pity?” you asked. “but mina- she lied , hoon.” you said. “i only told her we slept together cause she kept pressing the issue.” you said. “so you didn't feel bad for me?” he asked. “why would i feel bad hoon , we both lost our virginities that night , and i never thought you followed behind me like a puppy , if anything i followed you around , against my brothers wishes.”

she was behind this the entire time , she was the reason you and him basically were at each other's throats. “why would she do that? you two were friends , why would she lie like that?” you stood up. “where are you going?” he asked still sitting. “to murder her in her sleep.” he quickly grabbed your arm. “no.” he said , “no? she ruined everything.” you exclaimed , throwing your hand up.

he listened to you get louder and louder , the house surely were to wake if you got louder and louder about how you were gonna kill her. “yn , calm down.” he said , but you weren't listening. “yn please.” you still were going off , he wasn't gonna lie he missed this part of you , when you would ramble on and on about nonsense— back then it made him want to kiss you to shut up.

“i swear to god as soon as the sun comes up , im gonna-” it happened so fast , you couldn't even catch yourself, because he was the one pulling you down , his lips on yours before you could even say anything , your eyes were wide as he held the back of your neck , your body in his arms as his lips danced with his…

you pulled away , gasping for air. “please don't slap me.” you didn't know what to do , so you laughed , which made him laugh. “you've traumatized me.” he said. “oh god what did we do?” you said. “we kissed.” he said. “yeah and you have a girlfriend, as much i want to punch the bitch , im not a homewrecker.”

“we aren't together.” he said. “huh?” you finally sat up. “your brother was the one to set that up , i said i’d go on one date , the date which you came to.” he said. “i was so mad.” you confessed. “i could tell.” he said. “like you wanted to take her head off.”

“that's still on the table.” you said. “no need.” he said. “i’ll tell her tomorrow , tell her that we were never a couple.” he said. “why?” you asked , he tilted his head. “what?’ he smiled , shaking his head. “god how did you live an entire year without me.” he grabbed the back of your neck again , pulling you into another passionate kiss , holding your chin. “what does this mean?” you asked when he pulled away.

“are you joking?” he asked , you laughed. “maybe you should kiss me again and find out.” he smirked , biting his lower lip. “still a tease.” he kissed your lips. “your lips taste like chocolate.” he laughed. “of course you'd say something like that right when im kissing you.” he wrapped his arms around you. “i have to get back to bed , in case the girls wake up , and if someone finds us like this , it won't be good.”

“well if my brother or mina find us it won't be good , sunoo probably planned this.” you said. “let's just lay here a little longer.” he placed his chin on your head. “it's been a while since i've held you in my arms , i want to savor this moment.” he sighed , finally getting what he wanted after a long time , he finally got his one and only true love back again.

you both held hands as you made it back upstairs. “i don't want you sleeping in there with her.” you said , pouting. “i'm not.” he flicked your lips. “where are you sleeping?” you asked. “well since your bed is already full , i'm gonna go sleep on the couch.” he said. “now get to bed , sunoo is forcing us out in the cold tomorrow.” he said , you reached up to kiss his lips. “good night hoonie.” he hummed , waiting for you to shut the door , before he made his way back down stairs.

you climbed into the bed , getting back under the warm covers , yoons arms around your waist as she slept , you smiled , reminding yourself to tease her in the morning. “get out of this bed once again to go play cuddle time with him and i’ll kill you myself.” she said sleepily. “I'll tell you what happened in the morning.” you whispered. “you better , good night.”

you fell asleep that night with a smile on your face , your head full of sunghoon.

「 previous - next 」

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authors notes. a cute little moment before i once again fuck it up 🥰 …

©LUVYENI translations to other sites prohibited, reblogs are appreciated but not forced !

[robinminustherichard]

Eddie, sans mustache, is the voice of reason

(How I imagine the final scene could play out farther)

"He called me Buck." Buck mumbles, not even bothering to wipe the tear that slides down his cheek.

"I'm sorry, what?" Eddie asks, turning towards Buck. "You're on my couch crying because someone called you Buck?"

Buck simply looked at him, eyes wide.

"Don't, don't look at me like that." Eddie shook his head, taking another drink of his beer. "I am not Tommy that does not work on me."

"Oh my god-" Buck's voice breaks and he shoves his plams against his eyes.

"Whoa, Buck. You're gonna have to give me a clue here man."

"Tommy called me Buck, tonight. When he bro-" the rest of what Buck says is too muffled by his hands for Eddie to hear him.

"Still didn't catch that, bud. You're upset because Tommy called you Buck? That's literally what you tell everyone to call you."

Buck took a deep breath, pulled his hands away, and looked at Eddie with red-rimmed eyes.

"Tommy called me Buck after he broke up with me."

Eddie pulls in a sharp breath and winces, sets his beer down on the table and reaches over to clasp Buck's shoulder.

"Oh, man. Buck. What? Why the hell would he break up with you?"

"I don't-," Buck starts, pulling another rough breath in, "I don't know. I asked him to move in with me-"

"Buck-"

"No!" Buck interjected. "That's not even the issue. He started saying some crazy stuff about how he's my first but not my last and that if he moves in with me I'll break his heart."

Eddie sits, taking it in and letting Buck process more.

"So he broke my heart, instead. He broke up with me, called me 'Buck' like he hasn't been re-wiring my brain towards 'Evan', and walked out of my life."

Eddie breathes out, not quite sure how to tread.

"And-and-- it's such bullshit that he would do this! He changed my entire life in thirty seconds and then six months later gets to rip my heart out and leave?" Buck's fingers rip at the label around his bottle. "I can't believe this, Eddie. This is so stupid, and I don't even know how I messed up."

Buck looks dangerously close to crying again, so Eddie pulls him into the best hug that can be had when you're on a couch and also not wearing pants.

"Buck, I'm sorry man," he starts, patting him on the back before pulling away. "But you didn't mess this up. Clearly, Tommy's not thinking. He can't be thinking because everyone with eyes can tell you're in love with him. I've never seen you this in love."

Buck wipes at his eyes some more before nodding. Eddie takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I don't know what the hell Tommy is thinking. It sounds...it sounds like he's scared, like he's closing himself off to protect himself."

"But I don't want to hurt him, Eddie," Buck groans, mouth wobbling, "I love him so much."

"I know you do, Buck," Eddie sighs, running a hand across his face. "And I know where Tommy is right now. I've been where he is, and it's not a good place to be. Thinking that causing yourself pain now is better than getting hurt by someone else later; telling yourself that you won't feel gutted if it's you that pulls away before its taken away."

Buck looks at him, face devastated.

"But that's so....that's so stupid!" Buck breathes heavily, almost surprised by his own outburst.

Eddie looks at him, nods at him in agreement. "You're right."

"I mean," Buck starts up again, jumping to his feet and beginning to pace, "why the hell does he think I'm just going to have some fun with him and then leave him? I'm in love with him. Why the hell does he get to decide what I'll do in the future?"

Buck is breath heavily and runs a hand through his hair.

"A-a-and why does he get to just end things because he thinks I'm going to want something else? Someone else?"

Eddie is watching Buck pace and takes another sip of his beer.

"He doesn't even want to give me a chance! I told him that I want to see him even more and he decides to break up with me because he what, thinks I'm lying? Th-thinks I don't know what I want?"

Eddie shrugs, makes a non-commital noise.

"Well, no!" Buck stops, facing Eddie. He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. "This is unfair and I can't believe he would even think that I would treat him as just some sort of, of; some sort of training boyfriend!"

Buck practically yells his last statement, breathing heavy and meeting Eddie's eyes.

"So," Eddie says, "what are you going to do about it?"

Buck looks at him, silent for a moment.

"I-" Buck starts, confident before he suddenly deflates. "I don't know, Eddie."

Eddie groans before standing up and setting both hands on Buck's shoulders.

"Buck." He stares straight into Buck's face, "you are going to go to Tommy's, and you are going to tell him all of this, and you are going to get your man back."

Buck nods, confidence coming back.

"Yes." He agrees with Eddie.

"You are going to bang on his door until he let's you in, and then youre going to tell him that he's full of it and that you love him, and that he doesn't get to decide how you feel, and you are going to tell him that for all this trouble he better have a court-side Lakers ticket for me to."

"Yeah!" Buck exclaims, nodding. "Wait-"

Buck starts to protest but Eddie is turning him and steering him towards the door.

"You are not going to let him mess this up, because he and I are supposed to go to another fight next month, and I can't even kick his ass for you because he could totally crush me."

Buck is sputtering, piecing together sentences like what, Eddie, that is not the point here--

They get to the door and Eddie throws it open, give Buck another gentle push across the threshold.

Buck turns and looks at him, his face unable to convey the confusion fear indignation upset that he's feeling.

"Buck." Eddie stops, holding onto the door with one hand. "I know you, and I know you're gonna fight for this. If he turns you down again, call me and I'll be there to pick you up--"

"Will you put pants on to do that or--"

"Don't be ungrateful," Eddie interjects, "you will go to Tommy's house, and you will remind him that you are a fully grown adult who is capable of having your own feelings and thoughts, and you will tell him that you love him so much that you are literally obsessed with him--"

"Well, I don't know about tha--"

"You will tell him that you stare longingly at a picture of him at 3 AM when you can't sleep in the bunks."

"How do you--"

"And you will," Eddie starts to adjust to close the door, "get. your. man. back."

Buck looks like he's going to protest one more time, but Eddie raises his eyebrows and starts to close the door.

"And for God sakes, tell him how weird you are about the Buck/Evan thing."

With that, Eddie closes the door on Buck, locking it securely. As he goes to turn away, he hears Buck call out one last time, followed by his stomping tread down the sidewalk.

"I'm only listening to you because you shaved that god awful mustache, so clearly you've gotten some sense back!"

Eddie rolls his eyes, walks to the couch and plops down on it. He pulls his phone out, brings up Tommy's message thread and types out a new one to send.

If you really thought that was going to work, you don't know Evan.

[h-c-u]

No Longer a Secret pt 6

Summary: The one with A LOT of planning and phone-calls.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader

W/C: 7.1k

Rating: PG, age gap

TWs: none

A/N: So... I honestly wasn't planning on writing it today, but welp - it kinda spilled, so here we go... There is not a lot of action in this one, but a few Original Characters were very briefly introduced. Most of them will become a part of this story, so if you have any questions about them - please feel free to ask. One day, when there will be more of them included, I will most likely make a separate post dedicated to them, but for now - there are comments, asks, and messages :)

Taglist: @crimeshowjunkie, @omgsuperstarg

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | List of tags | Playlist for the series

Of course, there was a party after the race. Your first one with the team... And you seriously considered it being the last one, because currently you could hear the grass growing with your whole body and it hurt like a motherfucker. How the rest of the people on the jet weren't hungover? You had no idea. It must have been witchcraft. Because you couldn't explain it any other way, since you were the youngest of them all.

There was some light teasing, but after they realized how genuinely miserable you were, they stopped, and someone even brought you another alka-seltzer, a bottle of cold water, and chewing gum, for which you were extremely grateful because without it you would have definitely thrown up when the plane was climbing to the higher altitudes.

When it was safe to unbuckle the belts, everyone started moving and making conversation. Still, you were definitely not in the right state of mind for any of that, so when Toto motioned you closer to him, you gladly did just that and sat across his lap, with your legs over the soft armrest. He reclined the chair, so you would be more laying on your left side than sitting, which helped relieve the heartburn almost instantly. He was so gentle with you, that you almost melted into his soft shirt that smelled faintly of the detergent he used at home. With his one arm supporting your back and the other resting on your thighs, you felt much better.

You could see the other people trying to hide the surprised looks on their faces at the sight of you two cozying up because even though your relationship was no longer a secret, it must have been a little bit weird to witness the casual physical affection for the first time. But if you were completely honest, you didn't mind. You were all still getting used to the new dynamic between you and them, so it was only natural that it might take some time. And they weren't exactly weird or uncomfortable either, so you knew that sooner rather than later all the wrinkles will iron themselves out.

- Schatzi, we were supposed to decide on who should do the interview... - Toto said quietly, gently rubbing his thumb over your thigh. You honestly forgot about it, so you were glad that he brought it up. - But if you're not up for it now...

- No, I'm good, I'm good. - you said with a weak smile. - But after running it over and over in my head, I honestly think that Laura would be the best choice. - you stated, and when normally you would look up at him, this time you kept your head on his shoulder and kept your eyes closed.

- The talk show host? - he knew who Laura was from your stories, but he still made sure.

- Yes. In the past she had a few special episodes dedicated to interviewing one person when the topic was hot, so we could fit into that category. - you started explaining, and your warm breath tickled Toto's neck, which made him scrunch his nose and smile. - She's known for not taking any bullshit, so she definitely wouldn't go easy on us, but her reputation and the fact that it would air on BBC would give it more weight. - you explained the reasons behind this choice, and Toto only hummed in agreement.

- Don't you think we're a bit too low on a food chain to appear on her show? Doesn't she host celebrities? - those questions were genuine, and under normal circumstances, you would have agreed. But you two unintentionally became a sensation overnight and even people outside of the racing community were interested in you as a couple.

- She does, but right now... Let me show you, it will be quicker. - you mumbled and reached for your phone, but it was in your bag, so instead you took his from the table, unlocked it, typed his name into the browser, and showed him the screen with numerous headlines. "Toto Wolff is a spoken man and ladies are howling", "19 things surprisingly younger than the age gap between Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln.", "What do we know about Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln?", "Y/n Y/ln - from a respected reporter to a WAG of Toto Wolff" and many, many more.

- I see... - you could tell he wasn't exactly enjoying this type of attention, but you couldn't do anything about it right now.

- I'm sorry, I could have planned it better... - you mumbled quietly and put your head back on his shoulder.

- It's not your fault, Schatzi. - he squeezed your body a little bit tighter and placed a soft kiss on your temple. - I just wasn't expecting it to blow up to this degree. But we'll get through it together. - you could hear a smile in his voice. - So. Laura? - he circled back.

- Yes, Laura. She'll be tough, but if we ask her to avoid specific topics, she will. And that reminds me... Our families. - you sighed. Because you were so caught up in the heat of the moment, and then the race, that you didn't fully grasp the number of things you haven't thought about. - My mother is one thing and I will deal with her, but your kids... At the party, you told them you were going to call them back. - you reminded him, because you weren't exactly sure how much of last night he remembered, and his son called him rather late.

- Thank you, I'll do that when we land. I would also like you to officially meet them sooner rather than later if that's ok with you. - you weighed his words for a short moment in your head, considering if Toto having some time alone with them first wouldn't be better, just to let all the possible emotions out, and answer all the questions without an outsider present, but on the other hand they could read it as him trying to hide you from them.

- Of course. Let me know when, and I'll make the time. - from what Toto told you about them, it shouldn't be that hard, and you hoped that seeing with their own eyes exactly how much you loved their father would help, although you felt like you were starting from a weak position. Fortunately, Toto already told them that he was seeing someone around half a year ago, but he hasn't told them specifically who. So, finding out from social media or worse - their friends might have been hard.

Even though his face was donning a gentle smile, it wasn't hard for you to notice that he was in a sour mood, but you also knew it was temporary. He liked to have everything covered, and the whiplash of your announcement wasn't something he predicted. And you were no better because even though you knew people would be interested, you would have never thought that it would be such a giant sensation.

- We have a lot of fires to put out. - you chuckled quietly and closed your eyes again. - I'll call Laura when we'll land and hash out the details, but if we don't want to wait till next week, we should be ready to do this on Wednesday. - you put your hand over his heart just to feel it beat under your fingers.

- What about the guests she's supposed to have? - you could feel the vibrations of his voice under your hand even through the material of his shirt.

- Let me worry about that, Dashuria Ime, you already have enough on your plate. - you replied, rubbing your cheek on his shoulder and it was his time to laugh, unintentionally grabbing the attention of the rest of the plane, but seeing you two cozied up and clearly talking about something, they didn't interrupt. Although you suspected that they would start listening closer to what you were saying, and they were in for a treat. - I was also thinking about our conversation from Friday... - you started quietly, and you could feel him perk up under you.

- And...? - he asked after your intentional pause.

- And considering the race schedule and the fact that most drivers will stay in the UK, I'd like to start the company and recordings as soon as possible... - his shoulders slumped just a tiny bit, but the smile on your face didn't go away. You knew he was expecting to hear something else, so you stalled on purpose just to tease him. - And to start the recordings, I'm gonna need a studio. And to have a studio...? - you left the end of the sentence hanging in the air and Toto laughed out loud again.

- You will need to move out...? - he finished for you, even though he didn't have to, and you could almost hear the others getting quieter, sensing something interesting, almost like piranhas. Although they were significantly less bloodthirsty.

- I will need to move out. - you confirmed, and the others were no longer pretending to talk, now openly listening to your conversation, and you didn't even have to open your eyes to know that.

- So I'm guessing that... How did you say it...? "I'm not just gonna move all my stuff in one day"... - he imitated your accent surprisingly well, and you couldn't hold the laughter. - ...was a lie? -

- Wait, are you guys moving in together? - Lewis was the first one to jump on the topic and the excitement in his voice was very clear.

- It looks like it... - you finally opened your eyes again and rested them on Lewis’s bright smile.

- Congratulations! - he immediately wanted to get up to get closer to the both of you, and ask more questions, but this was the moment when turbulences hit, and just as he was standing up, he fell back into his chair, and the whole plane's attention was on him. Partially to make sure that he was ok, but mostly because he made a funny sound when he fell over, and now everyone was either openly laughing or trying to hide the giggle. - Hey! Not my fault! Anyways, what do you guys want as a housewarming gift?

- Some damn peace and quiet would be nice... - Toto mumbled loud enough that everyone could hear him, still a little bit hung up on the whole media hurricane.

- We'll worry about that on the ground. Let's just have a few more moments without that, hmmm? - your voice was soft, and he couldn't help but agree; there was nothing either of you could do right now, and your hand gently placed over his heart made him take a deep breath and then let it out, which you instantly recognized as him banishing the thought from his head. - And, Lewis, we don't need anything, but the thought is appreciated, thank you. - you smiled at the driver, and he just nodded in response, but you had a sneaky suspicion that one day there will be a package waiting for you on the doorstep.

- By the way, we were talking with Valtteri about something... - he started, and you looked at the Fin, not even trying to hide the curiosity. - ...how we, as drivers, could help you guys with the media. And I had a rather radical idea, so I wanted to run it by you before implementing it. - you nodded your head, urging him to continue. - Because as you said, there is no way you'll be left alone for a while, and there is a high chance that we will be asked about the two of you as well. So, I thought that we could just... Thank them for the interview, end it, and walk away without saying anything more. - he explained, and you couldn't help but wonder when exactly they found the time to discuss it between the party, sleep, and all the hecticness of the morning.

- This way it'll send a clear message that we're sticking together as a family. - Valtteri added and you took a moment to contemplate their words. You looked up at Toto, trying to gauge what he thought about it, and he didn't have to say a word for you to know how he felt.

- As much as I love the idea, I think it should be run first by your PR team. There might be a clause somewhere that you're obligated to do a certain amount of media time, during race week. - you started carefully. Now, that you realized what a clusterfuck this whole situation was, you thought about everything in a much more professional and calculated way. - Plus, I wouldn't want you to face additional heat because of us.

- Neither of us would. - Toto echoed, and you could hear a smile in his voice.

- I don't think we... care about that...? - Lewis looked at Valtteri with a question in his eyes as if he wasn't sure.

- No. - Fin added with a smile - And we want to take the stand. - it wasn't rare to see them agreeing on something, but it still felt nice - knowing that they had your back even though they found out just a couple of days ago.

- Yeah, because the longer it goes, the longer all of us will have to deal with it. And it's just not right... - you couldn't help but sigh at his words, because he was 100% right. - But of course, as you said, we will run it by PR first.

- Thank you, guys... And I really appreciate it. It means a lot. - you gave them both a gentle smile. - And we will do an official interview, so hopefully, it will satisfy the public at least a little.

- Oh, you're doing one? When? - Lewis was much more interested in that than Valtteri, who went back to reading his book.

- We're still a little bit fuzzy on the details, but if it goes our way - Wednesday. - you answered, but before Lewis managed to ask more questions about it, the pilot said over the intercom that you'll be landing soon, and everyone should take their seats and fasten their belts. Before you got up, you wanted to place a quick kiss on Toto's cheek, but he turned his head and intercepted your lips with a cheeky grin.

Eventually, you were back in your chair, and it wasn't long before you were steady on the ground. It was the first time you flew on the private jet, so you weren't exactly sure what was the customs procedure, however, you definitely weren't expecting an officer to board the plane and process you right then and there, but you were grateful for not having to deal with the crowds of the airport.

Before Toto even started the car, you gently touched his shoulder and mouthed silently "Your Kids" while you waited for Laura to answer. He smiled as a thank you and left the car to call his children and explain everything in more detail, while you went off at the speed of light as soon as your best friend picked up the phone, explaining your plan and overall situation, at the same time confirming that she will have exclusivity on the interview. You knew that appearing on Laura's show was coming with risks and exposing you and Toto to an even wider audience was one of them, but it was a risk you were willing to take. You quickly bounced the ideas for the placement, set, wardrobe, and everything else, and because you knew each other so well, something that usually took at least a few days and a bunch of emails, took you around 15 minutes.

Toto was still outside, talking with his children, so you also shot a message to the other potential interviewers, thanking them for being willing to take that opportunity and rescinding your offer. You also quickly realized there was not a chance in hell you would be able to handle everything by yourself during the next week, so you took two deep breaths and started compartmentalizing and finding possible opportunities to delegate.

First - you shot a message to Mellie, asking if she could talk, and almost instantly after you click "send", she was calling you back, which didn't even surprise you.

- Hey Mells, are you free this week? - you asked, without even exchanging pleasantries, because in the type of friendship you had, they were simply not needed.

- Do you really have to ask, hun? - her laugh sounded like delicate chimes. You could almost imagine her lounging next to her pool while a professional chef was somewhere in the background preparing breakfast.

- I know, I know, but I wouldn’t be myself if I didn't ask. - you chuckled. - So, I'm gonna need someone to oversee the renovation of my apartment into a recording studio, and since you are elbows deep in real estate and you know my taste pretty well... - you didn't even have to finish.

- Say no more! I was bored anyway. What's the timeline? - she asked with pure excitement in her voice. You knew she liked to help her friends and had both the means and the time to do so, but you still felt a little bit bad asking her for such a huge endeavor.

- If we'll pack and move everything tonight, you could start tomorrow. Do you think you'll be able to finish by the end of the week? - you asked.

- Honey, with the right equipment I can finish in less than two minutes. - she laughed and you couldn't help but chuckle. - But in all seriousness, if I'll be able to get the crew there tomorrow, everything should be ready on Friday. - it was much sooner than you expected, but you also knew she had her tricks.

- Even if I wanted to build a wall separating my current office upstairs from the downstairs? Because I would like to put the recording studio there. - you made sure.

- That won't be a problem. It will be enough time for the wall to dry, so you're good. I'm gonna prepare a few sketches before we'll meet in the afternoon, ok? - you could almost hear gears shifting in her head.

- Ok, but just to be quick. Guest bedroom into a quiet place to recharge, my bedroom into an office that can be quickly turned into a conference room. The kitchen and bathrooms stay as they are, but you can of course make changes, I'm leaving it up to you. And the salon should be an office space with 8 working stations. Oh, and that closet next to the terrace into an equipment closet. Just please don't treat the budget as a light suggestion... - you quickly explained. Fortunately, Mellie was at your place enough times to know the layout pretty well.

- The wardrobe on the left to the entry stays as a wardrobe, I assume. And you want to leave two full bathrooms with no one living there? - she asked, already making mental notes.

- Yeah, it stays, and the bathrooms... I mean, I'm not sure about the smaller one, but overall, I plan on having 11 or 12 people hired, so at least two toilets would be nice. I mean, some of them could definitely work remotely on a daily basis, but one bathroom definitely won't be enough. - you said after taking a few seconds to think.

- I can renovate the bigger one, get rid of the bathtub, add a wall or two, and fit two stalls there. And leave the one with the shower as it is. - she offered.

- That actually... sounds amazing. Thank you, Mellie. - you were grateful for the suggestion because you haven't even considered doing something like that.

- You got it. Anything else you have in mind? - she inquired, and you went through your mental list.

- No, not really. I trust you. - you eventually replied.

- Ok, then I'm hanging up and scheduling the crew for tomorrow at noon. Love you, Boo. - she made a kissing sound over the phone, and you laughed.

- Thanks again, Mells. - she was the one who hung up, and you took another deep breath, deciding what to prioritize next, but just as you were about to make another call, you saw a message from Laura, sent from her business email, which meant it was an official BBC business. The message included a very lenient but still long contract, and you didn't have the time to go through every point, but just as you were about to ask Toto if you could steal Mark again, you got a private message from Laura.

"I've fought for it, it's good, but you can still run it by your lawyer. Both of you can sign it before the photo shoot."

And a few seconds later you got another email from her, this time containing the exact schedule for Wednesday, and extensive details about the photoshoot that - if you agreed - would take place in about two hours. Laura also compiled a file with the names of the photographer, stylist, make-up artist, and hair stylist, their previous works, and a few proposals of what they had in mind for you and Toto. Sometimes you forgot how quickly your best friend could work, and how detail-oriented she was, for which right now, you were extremely grateful. You could see that she definitely included herself in every part of the process, judging by what options were prepared for you.

Just as you were about to look closer at the proposed wardrobe, Toto came back to the car and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

- Everything went ok...? - you asked, still scrolling through the file. Usually, he had your full attention, but right now, there was no time.

- Yes. As it turns out, you are Rosie's favorite reporter on the grid, so you helped me score some points back, because she - indeed - found out from one of her friends. But they both can't wait to meet you in person. - he gave you a warm smile when you quickly glanced up from your phone. - And how are things on the battlefront? - he asked as he started the car.

- Hectic. The interview will be live on Wednesday at 21:00, but we will have to be there at 19:00. I already have the contracts, and Laura assured me that they're good, and I trust her, but we can still run them by a lawyer. - you looked at Toto with a question in your eyes.

- Forward them to Mark and add P1 before the title. That way he will look at them immediately. - he smiled, and you quickly did what he asked, while you were slowly rolling out of the parking lot.

- BBC also wants to do a quick photoshoot for promotional materials, because right now they have nothing to run an announcement with. - you added, sparing him all the specific details. - In the main studio at 11 if we agree of course.

- Wow, you are really quick, Schatzi. - he chuckled. - And the sooner we get it over with, the better.

- That was actually Laura. But we have about an hour to freshen up in my apartment before we go. - You quickly replied to the second email that the photo shoot is a go.

- A lot can be done in one hour... - he said in a teasing voice, but he immediately realized, that you had other plans, so he dropped the topic. What was happening right now, was your domain, and he intended to put his full trust in you. - Is there any way I could help? - he asked sincerely.

- Actually... Could I borrow Mark for a few days? I will need help with registering a new company, trademarks, and the first few contracts. Just until I find my own lawyer who I could trust. - you asked, with your eyes still glued to your phone. - And do you want to choose your clothes and hairstyle for the interview?

- Of course, you can. I have him on retainer, and I never used his full hours. And – just an idea - you can stay with his company, I'm sure he will find someone who will suit your future needs. But for now, I will let him know that he should expect a bigger workload from you. - you were extremely grateful for that because everything was happening so fast. You landed in England not even an hour ago, and you already had your next few days fully packed. - You have a much better sense of fashion than me, Schatzi, so I’m leaving it up to you... - he answered the second question, and gently placed his hand on your thigh, seeking the physical touch that brought both of you comfort. You quickly chose the hair, make-up, and clothes for the photo shoot, sent it in the reply to Laura's email, and took another deep breath, holding it for a few seconds in your lungs. So many things were happening at the same time, and you had to keep yourself in check because if you didn't, you would be crushed under the weight of all the decisions. And after analyzing everything, you came to the obvious conclusion - you needed more help if you wanted everything to be done on time, but that had to wait a moment because you just arrived at your apartment.

Toto took both his travel bag and your suitcase from the car and carried them into the building, while you wrapped your hand around his waist and hid under the pleasant weight of his arm, where - at least for a moment - the outside world couldn't reach you.

You didn't have to tell him where anything was, because by now he was here enough times to get familiar with not only the layout, but also with where you kept the extra bag of flour in the kitchen, or in which drawer you kept your fresh linen.

- I'm going to take a shower and make breakfast... You do you. - he stated, anticipating that you will be much busier during that hour than he will be. He was right, of course, and you were extremely grateful that he was willing to help.

- Thank you... - you gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before he brought your bags to the bedroom. While he was under the shower, you started scrolling through your contact list, searching for potential future employees. You needed trusted people, people who you worked with in the past and you knew from experience that you worked well together. So, when you spotted a familiar name almost on the top of your list, you immediately dialed her.

- Hey Lynn. It's Y/n Y/ln. - you introduced yourself because you weren't sure if she still had your number. - You were interning under me around a year ago when I was interviewing David Coulthard and you helped me with some research.

- Yes, of course, I remember. It's good to hear from you. - a soft, soothing voice replied, and you could almost hear the smile in it.

- I'm calling to offer you a job... - you started bluntly because you didn't have time to dance around the topic. - For one month as my assistant, and after that - as a full-time researcher, mostly into things related to F1. - you took a quick breath - I'm not gonna lie, the first month would be brutal, but I promise not to bother you outside of working hours. Starting pay is 3k, but it will be changed as your title will change, to reflect your new position. Insurance, private medical care with dental, and all that legal shabang will, of course, be covered. For the first month, I would need you with me in London, but after that - the job can be performed remotely, and the equipment will be provided. - you quickly hashed out the details. You didn't have everything mentioned lined up yet, but you thought about it a lot yesterday, and you knew you wanted to be a good employer, and from experience, you also knew what most people needed from a job to stay happy and loyal, and that's what you were aiming for.

- What's the catch? - she asked in that smooth tone.

- You would have to start tomorrow. And like I've said - the first month will be brutal. - you replied, slowly suspecting which way she was leaning, but you still gave her a few more moments to analyze the pros and cons.

- Since your departure from the Network was rather public, I assume it would be for some other project? - she quickly deduced.

- Yes. I'm starting my own company, and I'm piecing together a crew for it. It will focus on long and extensive interviews. First with current drivers, and if it will catch some winder under its wings - hopefully we will expand. - you replied.

- Independently or for a streaming service? - she dug a little bit deeper, and you couldn't help but admire just how quickly she was able to connect the dots.

- Fully independent.

- I'm in. - she replied as soon as you finished saying the last word.

- That's awesome! Thank you. I will send you the contract either today evening or tomorrow morning. And if I'll know that I won't be able to send it to you today, I will let you know so you won't be pointlessly waiting for it. But for now - do you have any more questions? - your heart honestly felt lighter than just an hour ago.

- What time do I start tomorrow? And where do we meet? - you couldn't help but laugh with relief.

- 9 AM. But you can start from your own apartment. I'm gonna need you to compile a list of external HR companies that also handle accounting, with the best independent reviews, not that bullshit point system from the most popular websites. I want someone legit who won't take bullshit. And since I already know you're good at what you do, the top 3 would be enough. And if you will have enough time after that - I will also need a company that offers both web and graphic design services, with a focus on quality and time; budget right now doesn't matter. - you explained and just as you finished, you felt your phone vibrating with yet another notification.

- HR. Web and Graphic Design. - she repeated.

- I know you're already confirmed, but I'm gonna ask once more. Are you sure you want this job? - you asked because yet again - you got this feeling that everything was happening with the speed of light.

- I'm sure. To be honest, I've somehow landed in a stereotypical corpo-job, so I'm taking your offer as a sign to stop slaving away. - she laughed, and you joined her. - Plus, I know you keep your promises, and you wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious.

- And you won't have any problems with resigning on the spot? - you made sure.

- Not with the contract I have with them. - she soothed your worries.

- Ok then. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Oh, and send me your personal details, including the current address for the contract and the courier. I'll try to get a new phone and computer to you by tomorrow, and if you have any preferences for your set-up, please include that in your message. I honestly want you to be as satisfied with everything as possible.

- Do I have a set budget? - she asked quickly before you managed to hang up, and you had to think about it for a moment.

- Don't make me regret it, but... no. Just be sensible and don't order something with i9. - you both laughed again. - Thank you, Lynn.

- You got it, boss. - she laughed and ended the call. You quickly checked the notification that came during your conversation. It was an email from Mark giving you a green light to sign the contract with BBC and asking how you managed to negotiate such terms. You quickly replied and asked if it would be possible to talk over the phone. And yet again today - he was calling you almost as soon as you send the message.

- Hi Mark, I hope I'm not interrupting you too much.

- Hey Y/n. Not at all, I cleared my whole week for you, per Toto's request. - you made a mental note to thank your wonderful partner for helping you so much. - From what I understood, you will need help with registering your company and you would also like to find our own lawyer, is that correct? - he was godsent. And someone definitely was watching over you, because considering how hectic everything was, it was impressive that - at least for now - everything went so smoothly.

- That's right. I will also need help with drafting t first few employee contracts. - you added, as you got up from the couch and started walking around the apartment to focus better on the conversation.

- That's understandable. I assume Ltd? - he inquired.

- Yes. How long does it usually take?

- I will send you a form to fill out and a list of documents you will need to provide. If you'll be able to send it back to me before noon, the company will be registered by the end of today. - his voice was confident.

- You're joking... - you couldn't believe it.

- I assure you, I am not. It usually takes 3 to 5 hours to fully register and process a new Ltd. - he replied, and you were stunned because suddenly everything started to feel a little bit too real. You took one deep breath to ground yourself and closed your eyes.

- Ok then. - you finally replied after a moment of silence.

- Would you mind if I asked you something?

- Ask away. - you chuckled and resumed your walk around the apartment, just as Toto was leaving the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips, and you couldn't help but smile.

- Do you already have someone in mind for your permanent HR position? - you stopped again because you weren't expecting that question.

- I have someone looking into external companies to hire from. Why...?

- If you wouldn't mind some good old nepotism, I would like to send you a CV of my daughter. She specializes in employment law and just got her undergrad degree in business management. She has 2 years of experience in a similar position in a tech startup. I can also include her references. - he stopped for a moment, and you honestly needed a minute to process what you heard. - Just a CV. And if you'll like what you see, you could set up a proper interview. I'm not trying to force anything here. - you took a moment to think as you resumed your walk around the apartment at a little bit faster pace.

- Can you send me her CV now? - you requested, because honestly - you wanted to ride that wave of green lights and squeeze as much good luck from today as you could.

- I'm asking her to send it to your email right now. You should have it in a few minutes. - you could hear him smiling on the other side of the line.

- Ok, I will get back to her before 10:30. - everything was going so smoothly, that you were honestly starting to get suspicious, because life was never that easy, and some part of your mind was waiting for the other shoe to drop. After that, you quickly went through the possible private medical packages, sports cards, and the terms of employment you would like to offer your employees, which included a small budget every month for self-improvement, which could be spent either on learning new skills or improving your mental health by relaxing. You also went through the terms of NDAs, and something that popped into your head when Lynn asked you about the equipment - a payment plan to buy it out from the company by deducting it in installments from the pension. By the time you ended the call, it was almost 10, and Toto finished making simple 3 ingredient crepes, which were his specialty, but you weren't done just yet.

You opened an email from Mark's daughter that included a letter of recommendation as well as her CV, and you recognized one of the companies she was working in around 3 years ago because one of Sammy's sisters worked there. So, you quickly called your friend.

- Hey Brocksby... Can you send me Lizzie's number? I have a quick question.

- I mean... I could... but I'm at home and we're eating breakfast, so... you know... I can just pass the phone to her. - you laughed.

- Thanks, Love... You have my gratitude. – you waited a moment until you heard a familiar voice. - Hi Lizzie, sorry to bother you with such a random question so early, but by any chance, do you know Charlotte Zane?

- Hey Y/n! Not a problem at all... And of course, I know One-Fear-Charlie. - she laughed.

- One-Fear-Charlie? - you inquired with a slight smile.

- Well, yeah. Do you know that meme in a form of a comic panel? The one with a guy in a t-shirt that says, "No Fear" and then it changes to "One Fear"? - she asked, and this time you laughed.

- Yeah, I know it.

- So, she was that one fear. - Lizzie explained further

- Was she that bad? - you already started working on a gentle way to reject her CV, but your friend’s sister continued.

- Not bad, just... Strict, I guess? I mean - she knew how to have fun, but when it came to work - everything had to be absolutely perfect and every scenario had to be included in writing, so when you got an email from her - you knew that something was missing from your work, and you basically fucked up. She wasn't a bitch about it though, and she was really patient with new people, but you know...

- She was really good at finding imperfections? - you offered before she found the right words.

- Yeah.

- Did you like working with her? And her as a person overall? - you asked, slowly erasing that speech to gently turn Charlotte down.

- I mean - like I've said - she wasn't a bitch, and always gave you the opportunity to correct your mistakes before someone higher got a chance to see them. She was strict but definitely fair... And personally...? We weren't super close, but she seemed ok. She mostly hung out with paralegals, not us in the bottom of the barrel, but she was always kind to us on breaks and stuff. She had a really dry sense of humor though... You know, cheesy dad jokes and wordplay. - she offered.

- Thank you so much, Lizzie. And sorry again for bothering you. Say goodbye to your brother from me.

- No problem. And take care, Y/n! - you quickly hung up and sighed.

- Eat. You have 20 minutes to take a shower and eat something before we have to leave. - Toto quickly intercepted your phone before you got the chance to do anything else with it and pushed a plate with crepes with plum jam under your nose.

- I need to reply to an email... - you groaned, but despite your words, you started eating.

- Dictate then. Just don't choke... - he smiled, and you chuckled as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head.

- In reply to Charlotte Zane - Could we meet today at 2 PM in Saint Luke's Garden? - you swallowed a bite as Toto typed on your phone. - My signature... - another bite. - …and in PS "Not an official interview, just a walk, so dress in whatever you feel comfortable in. Preferably no business attire. - you continued with a piece of a crepe in your mouth. - Add a smiley face and hit send. - he did as you asked.

- You have a message from Mellie asking if she should include computers in the budget. - you nodded in reply, and Toto passed that in a message form. - And another one from Laura, telling you not to wash your hair or wear any make-up because everything will be done on set. - you were almost inhaling your breakfast, so instead of speaking you just showed him a thumb up, and she sent said emoji in reply. You looked at the clock, took the rest of the crepe in your hand, and almost ran to the bathroom because you had less than 15 minutes.

After the shower, you quickly chose fresh clothes, but before you got dressed, you quickly started applying lotion to your body.

- Hey, could you open the last email from Mark, and download the attachment? - you yelled loud enough for Toto to hear you in the kitchen, or wherever he was. Instead of yelling back, he came into the bedroom and leaned on the doorframe. He was watching you as you finished moisturizing your skin, and you gave him a small smile when you caught him. - The attachment. What information is needed? - you asked, while you put on your underwear, but he didn't reply immediately, instead letting his gaze linger. Only when you looked at him for the second time, he unlocked your phone and started reading the form. Fortunately, most of the information you could provide from memory, or you could find it on your phone, so at least you didn't have to dig through your apartment in search of any documents, and you could fill out that form in the car.

You were ready exactly four minutes before 10:30, but before you left the apartment in a hurry, Toto gently grabbed you by the arms and stopped you from moving anywhere for a moment, and your gaze almost instinctively found his eyes.

- Breathe. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Close your eyes... And for one minute just... breathe. - he said. You wanted to protest, because you had to leave, but his grip on your arms told you that it would be futile, so you did as he asked. With every slow breath, your racing mind started to slowly calm down. All the things that you had to do today were still there, but they were slowly stopping to fight for the place in front of the line.

After the full minute, Toto released your arms, but instead of running out of the apartment, you wrapped your arms around him, rested your face against his chest, and stayed like that for one moment longer.

It was easy to get lost when the pace of the day was so rapid, but you were fortunate to have someone who understood that and was able to help you find yourself again.

- Thank you... - you mumbled against his shirt, and he just pressed a soft kiss to your temple in reply. It was his time to be your rock, just as you were his yesterday. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[fiona-fififi]

I guess you're not in agreement that Buddie is happening this season?

Uh, I'm not sure where you're getting this idea from? I haven't said anything of the sort. I do still think we're on our way to buddie this season.

If this is in response to me not really being into the promo and unsure about the season, that's two-fold.

First, this fandom has been awful to be a part of for months. I've had to block half the fandom, and now that I've actually got my dash chiseled down, no one's actually interacting with me anymore (with the exception of a very small few—literally four—beloved long time mutuals). Not to mention, I'm afraid to post a single opinion at this point, because it somehow always seems to lead to bullshit lately. Which all together, isn't a great way to feel engaged in fandom, and if I'm not feeling engaged with the fandom, I'm much less likely to feel excited about a show, regardless of the status of my ship. That might change if (when) it happens, but right now, I have very little excitement for anything to come.

Second, frankly, last season was largely a disaster after 7x06. They did not finish strong. It was all over the place. There were issues with pacing and with storylines. Nothing felt properly developed. And yeah, 10 episode season, but then it's on the show and writers to make those 10 episodes work. Just cramming as much bullshit into those 10 episodes as possible didn't do it for me. Nothing had room to grow. It was just drama after drama after drama, often in ways that sidelined mains and took the story too far off with one character (I love Bobby, I do, but a THIRD begins episode for him in a freaking 10 episode season that had a three part opener was NOT the way). Not to mention the blatantly racist storylines that served no real purpose (comparing a black child to a dog? really? and for no damn reason because Hen and Karen are smart enough to have worked out that their foster child was traumatized without that questionable storyline).

And now, here we are, going into a season where they can't seem to decide how they're promoting the bee emergency—is it silly or is it super serious?—where they've brought back one of their most despised characters (who should have been long fired and certainly not put back in the same house where two firefighters who filed grievances against him still work), seemingly to sideline those very characters in service of Buck's storyline, which I don't find to be a great look.

By the end of last season, I felt like I was watching Lone Star 2.0 instead of og, and everything I hear about the new season feels like we're about to step into the exact same thing. Soap opera drama for drama's sake.

And if they were still successfully balancing character and storyline development alongside that, then I would probably feel differently. And maybe I will when it happens. Because maybe it really was just a problem with the shortened season.

But there is a reason I never really got into Lone Star, and if that's the direction og is heading, then no ship is going to save it for me.

I love buddie, I do. I also do still think it's happening.

But I don't watch 911 exclusively for a ship, and if the story doesn't work for me, buddie isn't going to entice me to stay.

[eisforeidolon]

I am not sure how long you have been in the SPN fandom (I have only been in it for 3 years) but I was wondering has the infighting about which J is actually the better one always been a thing? I sometimes see some fans really hating on them for what seems like very petty reasons and projecting all kinds of jealously, codependence, and envious behavior especially onto Jensen. I love Jared but the way some Jared fans act like Jensen has or had some creepy obsession with him makes me wonder if this is something that has always been around or manifested more after the prequel situation.

It's been around 11 years for me, being properly in the fandom. I binged the series just in time to catch the start of season 8 airing real-time, and came to tumblr when I realized fanfic was not going to scratch the itch of sharing speculation about what would happen next. So far as I'm aware, from personal observation and seeing people who've been around longer talking about the what the fandom was like? It's always been a thing to some extent, but the extent has varied a lot depending on when and what part of the fandom you're in.

The extreme Jensen stans - generally called Ackles Army (AAs) - have always been upfront and loud about hating Jared over anything and everything - almost literally to the point of insisting he's breathing wrong. They overlap a lot with hellers because of a generally shared desire to get Jared off SPN and away from Jensen, convinced he was in the way/holding Jensen back/throwing jealous tantrums to control Jensen and the show/whatthefuckever.

While some extreme Jared stans didn't bother to hide, a lot of them insisted they were totally fans of both prior to prequelgate and maybe some were - to an extent. For the most part they could blend in, because most of the time? Jensen and Jared were in pretty synchronous agreement - doing publicity together, agreeing the brother bond was the center of the show, not really doing a lot of other projects, etc. But over time, long before prequelgate, well it just always so happened that if either J got solo attention or there was some perceived difference? According to these supposed bibros, Jared was not capable of even considering making a bad decision ever, while nearly everything Jensen did alone was somehow embarrassing or suspect and supposedly reflected badly on him. They didn't necessarily want Jensen to go away, just know his place as the cheerleading subordinate. Of course now that Jensen and Jared are doing separate projects and attention for Jensen does not automatically mean attention to Jared, with the handy kickoff of prequelgate to claim extra totes legit justification over that misunderstanding they sorted out in a single phone call ... well, here we are.

By and large the AAs/hellers have always been more extreme - in terms of sheer quantity of assholes openly wishing not just failure but actual harm on Jared and sending death threats to him and other fans. But in terms of petty back and forth bullshit dragging the actors, these days they openly do a lot of the exact same nonsense: J is ugly! J is an alcoholic/druggie! J is a complete failure post-SPN! J is abusive to fave!J! J is obviously jealous of fave!J/trying to sabotage fave!J! J only did X because fave!J did Y so much better! Only fave!J was essential to the show, it was his character's story!

Both sides are constantly justifying themselves with the ol' OMG THEY STARTED IT! nonsense. Sure, the self-serving justifications differ just a little where the Jensen stans pretend to be amnesiac and blind to the really gross and reprehensible shit sent directly to Jared and basically everything the real Jensen says, while the Jared stans insist no one should object to anything they say because at least it's not wishing death on anybody (despite how much they lose their shit over even the petty nonsense when it's being directed at Jared). As if it's not obviously a constant back and forth of copycat stupid that has everything to do with each side trying to "prove" their personal superiority in being fans of The Better J by talking shit on the internet.

[tobiasdrake]

This is it. The seventh chapter, Chapter 5.

This is going to either be the final or the penultimate chapter. I'm not entirely sure. Traditionally, a Danganronpa is six chapters long. Chapter 5 is the top-tier WTF case that blows your socks off. Then Chapter 6 is endgame, where all secrets are revealed along with shocking twists and swerves that shatter your very understanding of what game you've even been playing up to this point.

Kodaka loves him a Shyamalanian rug-pull. I've spent the whole game occasionally eyeballing the corners of the rug and wondering which direction it's going to get yanked. There is always a yank. Even when it's, uh, not very good for the internal consistency of the story and theme. (Looking at you, Ultra Despair Girls.)

Maybe everyone was homunculi this whole time. Maybe Makoto's going to take off his mask and instead of a face he has a yawning void leading into your own personal nightmares. Maybe Shinigami was the true villain all along somehow. Who knows. But there's gonna be a yank somewhere.

I just don't know if it's this chapter or if there's one more, because the existence of two separate prologues has thrown the numbering out of whack. Chapter 4 genuinely did feel like your typical Chapter 5 Top-Tier WTF, right up there with DR 1-5, 2-5, and 3-5. If they are going to top that, I don't know how they would.

Given that we now seem to be moving, abruptly and aggressively, in the direction of having to face down Makoto as our true nemesis? This feels like we've entered endgame.

...we should have flung him out of his penthouse when we had the chance.

Okay, we're alive. And conscious. In a spooky dark room that's hard to make out. I was expecting some sort of sterile Amaterasu facility but "the house from the Grudge" works too, I guess.

At least we aren't alone. We can--

OKAY I GUESS WE'RE DOING SPOOKER HORROR NOW. THIS IS NOT OUR GENRE BUT SURE.

...

...

I mean. You can see my soul-devouring Faustian companion in that shot. This is my genre. BUT IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE Y'ALL'S. I'm the only one that's allowed to do Lovecraftian bullshit! That was the agreement!

Y'all this is straight-up Resident Evil shit. I. Don't. Feel safe. In a very different way from how I normally don't feel safe in this game. We've taken a complete turn from the atmosphere and tone in a way that's shocking and--

Ooh, bauble! I'm gonna get that bauble. Never mind, I feel comfortable agai--

LEGS.

OH GOD THEY USED THE BAUBLE AS BAIT. WHAT THE FUCK. That is a complete betrayal of the player/developer relationship of trust we've built up to this point.

What the fuck what the fuck what-- Oh, wait, it's not a corpse. It's Kurumi. Okay. That's better. We like her.

Silent Hill. Your guess is as good as mine for how we got here, but that's par for the course for that particular psychokinetic hot-spot.

In seriousness, this is probably the Restricted Area. The real one, not the classified lab Makoto played up with all the energy of painting "DISNEY WORLD" on a cardboard sign and hanging it over a backyard water slide.

An abandoned village that allegedly cannot be entered because you will choke and die on toxic gas immediately.

Incidentally, how's your breathing, Kurumi?

You.

You know other places have rain too, right?

They don't have Forever Rain but. Like. Rain itself, the concept of rain, is not a unique Kanai Ward phenomenon.

Kurumi's lived in this city for so long that she doesn't know rain can happen for non-suspicious reasons.

...I mean, some places have Forever Rain too. Kanai Ward is basically Seattle. POINT IS, Kanai Ward does not own a patent on rainfall.

I hate that we're here without explanation. There aren't even any guards. What the hell is your game, Makoto? This is such a weird place to bring us to and then leave us to fend for ourselves.

Did you dump us here because we weren't Master Detectives or something? You were only after the pros, and threw us out as spares? We're not good enough for homunculus experiments or whatever?

It'll be weird if we find them too. If everyone was dumped here, that raises further questions than if only Kurumi and Yuma were dumped here.

I mean, Yuma's done a lot of answer-finding and mystery-solving, but none of it's public knowledge. So far as anyone, even our own colleagues know, every crime solved itself or was solved by the Master Detectives, while the killers kept abruptly dying for no explainable reason. All the while, Yuma was nearby looking like a useless doof.

Outwardly, Yuma's history is one of trying to solve the crimes, failing, and then getting bailed out by circumstance or by the killer's corpse spontaneously standing up and explaining everything apropos of nothing. The best that can be said about his abilities from that lens is "Good effort, has enthusiasm".

Only Vivia, Vivia specifically, knows the truth. Interesting how that isn't a violation of the ominous "You can't tell anyone about our contract" clause, because he learned it himself through the interaction of his metaphysics and Shinigami's. I smell loophole!

Anyway, let's go see if we can find our friends. If we're lucky, Fubuki, Halara, and Vivia will be somewhere around here.

If we're unlucky, we'll be jumped by the spooky spooker.

What a title card. This is fine.

I sure hope not. If it is, I'll have a few apologies I have to make. Do you think "My bad, I may have overreacted," will suffice?

Got some horrific atmosphere and tension and a lot of questions raised by our presence here. BUT FIRST.

This better be someone good. You fucking owe me for that trick you pulled.

This is my villain origin story. I'm going to fuse with Shinigami and become a ravenous, ghostly murder-plague upon the land. My body count will make Samara jealous.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

I'm staring to get scared...

I've been scared, but let me unpack this for people who don't understand me as well as my spouse...

Oh. Good. Yay. Right? Justice?

No.

Biden, in a statement, said his actions would help make the "promise of equal justice a reality." ...The pardon also does not apply to those in the U.S. unlawfully at the time of their offense.

Here's the thing: If the law is unfair (and it is) is it fair to say, Well, only #Real Americans deserve to have that unfairness addressed? Is "equal justice" the intent here?

Justice isn't a goddamn bag of Oreos. It is good for you. You don't have to seal up the bag and go, "Ya know, that's enough for right now. Don't want to eat the whole thing in one sitting! Let's save the undocumented immigrants, who are also disproportionately punished based on race and class, for later." No! You're not done yet! You're not allowed to pick out the ones you don't like and call yourself fair and just! And, btw, the unopened bags of Justice have been piling up around here for quite some time. You have a lot more to do.

And, if we're going to look at this in the spirit of bipartisan compromise (between two parties who keep saying the other party is trying to destroy democracy?!?) I'm not comfortable with who has been assigned the consequences of the compromising. Neither are a lot of other people who share my heritage. The US government is looking to legislate more people into illegality even as we speak. I think the decision has been made on who's going under the bus so that "democracy" can continue. It's (among others) the folks fleeing political unrest and violence fomented by the US out of anti-communist paranoia, social scapegoating, and a desire for cheaper fucking bananas.

It is possible to legislate "these people don't belong here" without banging on a podium and screaming about ultranationalism and polluted blood. That's the way we've done it for generations, only Trump started saying the quiet part loud and some folks got nervous.

I'm pretty fucking nervous, too, but for vastly different reasons.

This is a cold equation. This is being pushed through and publicized in the runup to the election. Biden is a friend to American Voters and let's define who those are and who they should be concerned with.

My fiction-based musing on trolley problems and who we're willing to throw under the bus to save someone who matters to us is still unpublished. Probably will be for a couple more months. But it has been on my mind because I'm seeing it play out in real life, again and again and again. We are exhausted from pulling levers and deciding who dies. A lot of us don't even consider it anymore. We accept the premise that politics means somebody has to die, and we pick a victim who bothers us the least. But how are you deciding who bothers you the least? And is that okay? And why do we have to keep doing it?

I will accept that we can't save everyone. The decisions come fast, and the decision-making process is slow. But this thing where we create law-breakers and then shrug and go, "Oh, well. They have less value to society," is some bullshit. And if you didn't notice that before, the messaging of, "It's no longer expedient to do this to marijuana-users, so let's do it to border-crossers - but, shhh, don't report it that way," should hammer that home. It's just another dog whistle for a racialized minority, one that apparently didn't turn out quite enough for the Democrats in 2020.

You don't have to wait for Trump to see politicians taking it out on their enemies while in office. It's just that the professional, civil ones confine their retribution to whoever the American public is willing to throw away. It's not personal. It's political. YOU get to decide who we kill next November! Well, we've already reached an agreement on immigrants, Palestinians, women, and Blacks - but you can raise or lower the volume on their screaming, and decide whether the folks in charge are gleeful or disapproving. And is there anyone else you (the majority of voters) are willing to lose? We're always listening! Just let us know! We may need to kill a few more people in the spirit of bipartisan compromise and we'd like to upset you as little as possible.

I can't accept that this is the cost of doing business anymore. I'm fucking ashamed I accepted it for so long in the first place.

And... And I'm terrified of sitting up here and watching voters mechanically make choices between ever larger groups of potential victims as the only options on the ballot conspire to rack up the price.

[lovesaved]

i need more of your incredibly correct Bella headcanons and dynamics with the other characters RIGHT NOW

OKAY SO.

she jacob and leah are all the same age bella is the oldest born in september, then leah in november, and finally jacob in december. they are her oldest and best friends. like there are pictures of the three of them as babies and toddlers in the little inflatable kiddie pool in billy's backyard and their moms holding them on the steps.

charlie and renee divorced when bella was around 3 and it was. pretty brutal. there weren't any fights or anything like that, but you know how they say the opposite of love is apathy? that was pretty much it. as far as charlie knew, one day things were fine. the next? renee had put her things in a uhaul and driven south. she didn't give him a reason until weeks later when she bothered to call. then she came back for bella and bella alone. the custody arrangement got sorted later and charlie waited bravely until bella stopped waving at him from her little car seat and the car was vanishing down the road to cry his eyes out.

renee wasn't a deliberately bad mother. she was just very self-centered and that didn't change when she had a child. she viewed bella as less of a small human she was responsible for and more of a tiny extension of herself she could tote around. renee loved dance, so surely bella would be thrilled with a ballet class! it didn't matter that bella practically begged to go to a science program after school instead, that she came home from class in tears every day.

she and charlie both LOVED the summers. she'd get to be a kid during those months :( she didn't have to tiptoe around an adult's feelings and go with her whims or hide the way she was disappointed. it was endless days of riding her bike around town with jacob and leah and showing them bugs and naming them on the way through the woods to the creek and bonfires and smores at night until she was so tired charlie would have to carry her to the car.

rest is under the cut or we will be here all day

again, charlie never knew how bad it was in phoenix. bella learned how to lie to him on the phone by the time she was five and to his face by age 6. he never heard about the power being shut off because renee forgot to pay the bill, or about how she'd made her feel bad for not liking ballet. just about her chalk drawings on the sidewalk and the scorpion she managed to get a picture of in the yard. by the time she was 13 she was so convincing that he believed her when she said she just didn't feel like coming up anymore.

despite this, she does actually miss phoenix a lot at first. it was consistent there, she enjoyed the sun and the desert and all the flora and fauna that lived there.

the way she sees leah that first time in 3 years and blurts out "you got hot!!" and she and leah just hold each other up while laughing

bisexuality <3

bella isn't on her "not like other girl's" bullshit. she has a hard time understanding "girly" things sometimes, renee wasn't a huge help, but when she softly says that she doesn't know how to do things like eyeliner jessica, angela, and leah descend on her to show her <3 there is a cute montage to be had of the three of them picking out new clothes with her and trying to teach her how to walk in heels,

this is less bella focused and more just me thinking smeyer sucks but I'm not acknowledging imprinting as a thing. it really does feel like another weird ass machination of a racist mormon to paint native characters as predatory

she finds out about edward and his family in a v similar way but there is no romance during the reveal. he confirms her suspicion that he's not human her and her first thought is "oh god he's going to kill me i got too close i know too much". she bluffs like a champ tho.

edward admits that he isn't able to read her mind and they both kind of come to an awkward gentleman's agreement where they are friends with each other- for research purposes.

next few months she hangs out with the cullens more and more. rosalie hates it from the start and is always like "are yall fucking dumb??". the others are more open-minded. jacob and leah ALSO hate it! they don't really believe the stories but their dads do, but mostly? they miss their friend and they have a sixth sense gut feeling.

like leah and jake are hanging out and he's like "you remember how stranger danger didn't work on bella when we were little and she'd try to make friends with people she didn't know and nearly gave charlie a heart attack? what if this is a little like that. her danger meter is broken."

that being said the thing with james still happens. he sees this one little human surrounded by protective vampires and decides this will be GREAT enrichment time in his enclosure. like by this time, edward and the other cullens- save rosalie- have gotten fond of her. she's like their weird little human mascot

the story then kind of goes into victoria wanting revenge + the volturi finding out about their laws being broken. the cullens are like "its not her fault james fucked around and found out" and then "you don't have all the facts" "which are?" "we love her,"

while this is going on, jacob and leah shift and get drafted into this whole thing. they absolutely view this as the cullens dragging bella into their shit and endangering her for their own selfish wants.

tbh they can't even really argue that? but also they want to stay to make sure the mess they made is taken care of without having to rely on the wolves- bc if they leave, the problem will not necessarily follow them.

bella also realizes she might have a thing for both jacob and edward- she just doesn't know if she's gonna live long enough to make a choice there.

like spending time with the cullens, she tends to think of her humanity as something she needs to be cured of a little. she wants to be unbreakable and unmoving. but over the course of the series she sees her life as the gift that it is; her being a human, something that can grow and change and live and breathe, isn't something that needs fixing anymore. she doesn't need fixing.

years and years down the road the cullens still visit from time to time; edward tells her she's still beautiful and rosalie admires the gray that's started to form at her temples.

[storyinmypocket]

I'm a nerd, raised by nerds. I like learning and tinkering! It's fun!

I'm also middle-aged, disabled, and cursed with a raging case of AuDHD, so I am in total agreement with this addition.

In the past few years, I've been getting more and more Apple devices. I'm ideologically opposed to a lot of Apple's bullshit, and I've ranted plenty in my life about Apple's walled garden and its refusal to let people repair their own shit (part of me still doesn't completely trust any computer that won't let me open it up and mess with its guts) but Apple products look and feel nice to use, and work right out of the box with a minimum of fuckery. I need devices I can still use when sick and brainfogged with no need to troubleshoot regularly. At this point in my life, that's non-negotiable.

I also have a home-built gaming PC, and a Raspberry Pi which runs Home Assistant with AdGuard as an addon. I love how much I can do with my little Pi. I don't love how I've had to start from scratch multiple times, though, because I realized x configuration would let me do more stuff I wanted, but oh shit, x configuration doesn't support device y without me needing to learn things a, b, and c... And sorry, I'd rather have the automations for my disabled ass working right now, for some weird reason.

I think the problem is that a lot of things like the Raspberry Pi and Linux spawned from hobbyist culture, where none of these things were necessary, so the culture valued mastery, with the rationale that if you don't want to do it the hard way, you filthy casuals can go back to your nice safe pre-built Windows PCs. I mean, I remember when Ubuntu was first introduced and some of the old-school folks were up in arms, convinced that the 'dumbing down' of Linux would ruin everything.

But the kind of gatekeeping that kept hobbyist discussions productive backfired long ago, and even its gentler, "Here's a tutorial! It's easy!" form still keeps people from accessing the things that could help them circumvent manufacturer greed. A lot of the people who find the number of ads added to things make the devices they paid for unusable don't have the time or technical skill to master the tools to solve their problems. It's not about bragging rights or showing off for your geek friends, but about just getting a solution that works even when you have jobs/children/disabilities that mean you literally do not have the time and mental energy required to master this new thing.

Unfortunately, the other side of the problem is that it's because these tools are built by hobbyists who don't have a financial stake in their software's success that they're both so intimidating to get started with, and also so effective. People aren't being paid to make these resources available, so they tend to make things for people at their level or slightly below, and user-friendliness comes later. But making these tools for-profit invites the same enshittification that got you unskippable repetitive ads in the first place.

I don't really have any good solutions, just the thought that if I go deeper into coding and FOSS, I should probably direct my efforts towards making things more user-friendly, before anything else. Let the people with higher proficiency mess around with the functional stuff, and just allow my relative ignorance to work in my favor when it comes to relating to people who just need a thing that works in a way they can wrap their heads around.

WTF do you mean jailbreaking my "smart" TV to install Linux in order to run adblock on my TV would be "Felony Contempt of Buisiness Model" That sounds like a crime made up by The Board in Outer Worlds.

[radiocrypt-id]

My fav Maritime Canadian phrases i used on the reg as a retail/food service guy

"It's goin'." in response to "hey hows it going?" or "Hey how are things?" etc.

similarly "Livin' the dream." usually in response to "Hey how ya doin'?" etc.

"Oh for sure bud." said without a single ounce of understanding or shits to give.

"Yeah no, yeah." used instead of just saying yes, for some reason.

"No yeah, no." used instead of just saying no, for some reason.

both previous phrases are used to express understanding or sympathy as well, no I can't explain how, you'd have to hear it being used in context repeatedly to get it.

Also, it doesn't matter how many times you say yeah and no together before the final word, because the final word is the sentiment of either agreement or not. I've had entire conversations with customers that has consisted of me just repeating "no yeah, yeah no yeah, yeah no, no yeah" for twenty minutes until I either agree with their final statement/request and send them on their way or say goodbye without any indication of a final word, leaving it ambiguous as to whether or not we agreed at all on anything.

"If I could bibbidi bobbidi boo it into existence for you I would happily do so, but sadly I'm not a fairy and don't have a wand." said in response to an outrages request/demand/question about a product, typically about something that we didn't sell or were out of. I don't know if this is Canadian or just a thing I started doing and everyone picked up on where I worked but I've heard several variations of it, including the more simple: "If I could wave a wand and have it for you I'd do that but I can't I'm sorry." and the angry blunt: "I'm not a magician, sorry." I like my version best because it always shocks them into laughing and immediately deescalates their anger as they realize how silly they sound demanding the impossible, and let me provide a genuine solution.

"You got it pal." Said in response to being ordered around when you're busy or annoyed, usually with the customer service voice/smile that barely conceals the boiling rage of the service industry under it. I never did as told if I said this, it's a polite go fuck yourself.

"Go on then." usually used to tell people to explain what their issue is with a blank expression. used a lot to deal with complaints or bullshit karens that you know is just being a pain to be a pain. usually combined with crossed arms or a jut of the chin at them.

"Ooh she's pissed eh?" only ever said about the weather or a machine, never actually a person.

"Ain't that a thing." Said in complete admiration for either complete stupidity or something beautiful. Be it your coworker/buddy scaling shelves to reach a 10lb barrel of something, or the sky turning purple at dusk, it was said the same regardless, in complete awe.

"Yeah that's uh... That's a thing." Said in response to the above, also in awe but also usually more tired as they recognize the danger of the situation or that they are in fact still at work for several more hours no matter how pretty the sky/thing is.

"Boy jesus get that fuckin' thing outta here!" often used for those birds that get stuck in big stores, but also just for literally anything that shouldn't be there or is annoying for the speaker. could be a pop-up on their computer for an error or a lawnmower driving through the front, equally pissed. said in one breath very fast.

"She broke." said about literally anything that isn't working immediately as expected or any coworker that's expressing extreme emotion, often laughter or sobbing. everyone/thing is 'she' regardless of gender.

"Now what exactly do you think you're doin' there bud?" Said to anything out of place in bafflement or in annoyance/outrage to someone doing something incredibly stupid when they know better.

"Aw no bud, come on now." said in absolute devastation.

"Work with me here big guy." said in prayer to any piece of machinery before trying to use it appropriately, as designed.

"We're gonna commit a few crimes but be back for dinner, yeah?" Said in prayer/prep to any piece of machinery before using it incorrectly on purpose. Also to coworkers when you're about to do something very unsafe that will piss off your more mature/responsible coworkers but you're hoping you'll get away with it. It's a confident phrase, said before disaster.

"Eh?/Hey?/Hah?" a sound just used to express deep confusion or sudden attention onto a new person you think has called you

I might add more as I think of them

[theabstruseone]

Also, nobody actually knows shit. If anyone tries to say "But that's now out Insert Sign is..." just throw out there "Oh, that's because I'm Capricorn Rising" or "Yeah but I'm also a Sagittarius Moon" or some other line of bullshit that sounds vaguely astrology-y and they will immediately nod in agreement like that explains anything because here's the secret of astrology:

So long as you present yourself as a fellow believer, nobody will admit you are wrong no matter what you say because it undermines the entire line of bullshit.

If you start questioning one person's interpretation of their astrology chart, you have to start questioning everybody's and then you start to realize the only reason it looks real is because you only remember the bits it gets right and never the larger number it gets completely wrong.

Remember, this only works if the astrology believer thinks that you yourself are also a believer. Because the moment you approach it as a skeptic, they will shut down and refuse to listen to anything you say.

This also works on most people who don't believe in astrology because very few people in real life want to question anyone's beliefs to their face.

this tweet is life changing

[give-soup-please]

Rest (out of context comfort)

(When you try and write headcanons and then something else pops out. OOPSIE DOOPSIE!

Quick note. The problems presented in this fic are no one's fault. I have several issues due to my upbringing that I'm working on fixing. I don't want anyone to feel guilty for participating in what this blog does. Most days are fine, but sometimes I am more nerves than man. This is just a ventish hurt/comfort fic, not directed at anyone in particular. It's a long one, you may wish to open it in a new tab. Okay have fun!)

(Also I'll be taking tomorrow off, for personal reasons.)

“You need to rest, writer.”

I glared at him.

“This isn’t the time for stubbornness. You’ve been packing boxes for the move all day. You injured your hand because you wouldn’t stop writing. And your thoughts- your head is in such a scramble I can’t make anything out.”

I was not in the mood to hear this. I was not in the mood for gentleness, or the soft call out of someone who cared.

“Stay out of it. This isn’t your problem, it’s mine. Just- leave me alone.”

“It very much is my problem. Do you really think any of us want to stand by while someone we- when someone refuses to be kind to themselves?”

I felt my anger towards him grow. Fury boiled through me. I don’t even know why I was so upset, I just was.

“You’re a fiction. A concept.” I hissed. “You don’t belong in this world, and you have no idea what you’re talking about. Stay in your own goddamn lane.”

His voice was sharp. “Writer. Now, I can’t pretend to know what this is all about, but I do know that I won’t stand idly by and let you do this to yourself. Do you hear me? I will step in, in any way I see fit. That was part of the agreement we made. You write my words, I-”

“This is bullshit! Our agreement is over in two weeks! Why are you still here? What possible reason could you have to still stick around- when-” My breath hitched. “It’s going to end. Everything, I-”

I leaned against a box, exhausted. Sweat poured down my face, having spent most of the afternoon lifting heavy things. 

“It’s all going to end. Why are you still trying to help me?”

His voice was soft. “Because you asked me to. Your request was so earnest, so polite- In the beginning- A few months ago, you wanted someone to step in. Someone who could talk to you when everyone else couldn’t, in the privacy of your own mind. We drafted that first script together, remember? It was glorious, reader-”

“I can’t keep writing for you past the deadline. I just- I can’t. The strain is so much, to be producing for others. It hurts.”

He looked at me as if I was missing something obvious. “Then write for yourself.”

“It’s not that simple! This is my job, to produce content for others. It’s why I exist, it’s what I mean to this world.”

“That’s a lie you’ve been told by people who were meant to be kinder to you. And for as many times as you ask, I’ll be here to reassure you-”

“I’m not asking! You just appeared, like you always do-”

“-Some part of you is crying out for help. This is what comfort characters do, we respond to the pain of the people who love us so dearly.”

I snarled and paced. “Even now, even now, while I’m writing to self-soothe because I can’t comfortably ask anyone to share the burden, I’m wondering if the audience will like this. I’m wondering if this will break the twenty notes mark. I am agonizing over word choice and description. I am broken, narrator. I am a machine that produces, and nothing more. You can’t fix me, no one can.”

He lurched forward, and held me tightly. I snarled again, and struggled, trying to shove him away. I pounded my fists weakly against him, trying to push back against someone I cared so much about. He took every hit, and I hated and loved him for it in equal measure.

“Listen to me. You are not broken. You have been terribly hurt, but it’s not the same thing at all. You don’t have to carry the burden alone anymore. Your friends are here for you, and when they can’t be, I will stand in their stead.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean every word of it. You are so- Completely and utterly loved. We love you because of who you are, not what you can do for us. We always did.”

“Shut up!” 

“No. I will not. You need to hear this tonight, writer. I’m going to hold you close and tell you as many times as it takes.”

“Please- You can’t- I won’t let you.” My strength was starting to fail, and I leaned against him more and more. “You can’t- You can’t-”

“I can. You must be so tired. You don’t have to fight anymore. Let me carry you, until you’re ready to stand on your own again. You’ve done similarly with other characters in the past. It’s okay to ask us for help. The burden of being alive in your reality is so much-”

He leaned back a little, so I could see his face. “Did you really think we cared for you so little? Oh, writer… strong is the bond between a character and their fans. Didn't you know? You give us life, meaning… It’s only fair to return the favor and lend a hand. We would much rather you be alive and cling to us than not. It’s okay to need us, there’s nothing wrong with it at all.”

He wiped my tears away. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been shedding them. 

“I’m deeply grateful to the other characters who helped you stay alive long enough to make it here. Their turn is over, and now the guardianship is mine. I will not fail you.”

“What am I going to do?” I asked. “I don’t want to give you up, but I've forgotten how to write for myself. I don’t know where to go after the end date.”

“...There are no easy answers, I’m afraid. I suggest that you take a break, a few weeks at the minimum. Then, when you’re ready, I’ll be there as your narrative guide. Honestly, I can wait. I’m sure there’s a technique to it, we just have to try and find out what it is.”

“And if I never write for you again?”

He smiled. “Really now, what do you think the chances of that are?”

I looked away, clearing my throat. “Well- you know- uh-” I shuffled my feet to ward off the excess energy.

“I meant it when I said- though I don’t remember exactly when- I’ll be here for as long as you need. My dedication to the story, to Stanley, is unwavering. It will be the same with you.”

“I don’t want to post what I write anymore, after that date.”

“That’s perfectly alright, and honestly, it might be a decent start. You’ve brought joy to others, and soon it will be time to give yourself the same. You deserve it.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“You will, in time.”

“I’m tired.”

“Rest, dearheart.”

“...Fine. But I won’t enjoy it!” It was the last minor protest of a stubborn person.

“Oh, I intend on making you enjoy it. My narrative powers are too great for there to be any other outcome. Now…”

He cleared his throat.

“Writer then proceeded to take a shower to get the sweat off, ate a late dinner, watched an episode of his favorite television show, and went to bed after having some chamomile tea.”

I spluttered for a bit, but the grin was overtaking my face. I was caught between snarking at him and thanking him sincerely. 

“You’re the best.” I said, followed by, “How dare you.”

He hummed a pleasant note. “I know I’m the best. And I dare quite easily. This is your health we’re talking about, after all. Now- Stop writing already and get to it!”

The writer snorted and wrenched himself away from his keyboard.

[uuuuuhhhhlana]

i'm really sorry for asking this but i once asked you if you could explain the reasoning behind your canon komahina playlist, and i remember you made like a really lengthy post and i loved it. but i've been scouring your tumblr and i cannot for the life of me find it and it's killing me. could you please repost it or send me the link for the original post, i'm sorry lol

hi!!! you’re all good! i’m glad you loved it!! unfortunately i am the same as you and cannot find the original post ANYWHERE 😭 but, luckily i still have the response which i kept in my notes app for sentimental reasons so i’m able to repost it here!! keep in mind i have included new songs that were not part of the og post, and removed songs that are no longer in the playlist,,but without further ado, my canon komahina playlist song guide!! :D

i’ll try to explain as best as i can!! i’ll indicate which songs belong to each arc that i wish i could do in the playlist <3 (also to clarify, this playlist is just also stuff i find and include on a whim, and may not exactly fit because i haven’t had time to listen to the whole playlist in full lol sorry)

also lol this is gonna be long

🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎

pregame (despair arc anime stuff)

カミイロアワセ—binaria (this is just despair arc’s opening!! it may have been confusing if you haven’t watched the anime lol, also some songs are just here to help transition into different parts of the timeline!! ^^)

waiting in the wings—eden espinosa (this is a character specific song for hajime, i thought it was good to emphasise his feelings towards being the the reserve course, always trying so hard and never reaching what he truely wants (ah, there are a few character specific songs in this, it’s just to give them their own views and thoughts during the situation lol))

are you satisfied?—marina (okay THIS is meant to both portray their lives and actions during despair arc before the tragedy and how their lives are about to completely change (mainly hinata’s transition into kamukura) half is meant to showcase the lead up to his agreement to the kamukura project (“are you satisfied with your average life?” “it’s my problem if i want to pack up and run away…if i feel the need to hide” and the other half is about komaeda’s luck and how heavily it has affected his life before leading him to be accepted into hope’s peak (“one life pretending to be the cat who got the cream” “do i need to lie to make my way in life?” “nothing comes for free”) uh yea akskddgaksd)

never say never the animation—tkdz2b (this is just a transition to like. the udg/thh killing game shebang, nothing really important there)

e.v.o.l—marina (kamukoma nation rise,,,,just them (mostly servant) being Freaks™ together heheheheh,,, also like,,how basically junko’s influence turned them to the fucked up despair peeps they are!! (“it only takes a drop of evil to fuck up two beautiful people”,,,) :))

coming down—halsey (more kamukoma crumbs anyone??? basically komaeda worshipping kamukura and smex looolll. i imagine they encountered each other multiple times during and after udg (it’s canon i said so ansjddf :,))

🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎

game (prologue)

pixel galaxy—snail’s house (neo world program time babeyyyy)

welcome to dangan island—masafumi takada (what’s this weird rabbit thing?? we’re on an island now? ah! we’re meant to be collecting hope fragments?? this is totally normal and not a killing game right? right???)

beautiful rain (summer salt) —masafumi takada (relax! enjoy making friends (and potential love interests) on this lovey dovey school trip! :))

heart attack—loona (komaeda love at first sight bullshit like PLEASEEE (i will insert as many songs to convey my agenda as possible LMAO)

sugar rush—addison grace (komaeda’s pov, he’s only met hinata for two (2) seconds and already has a crush LMFAO also, assume that there’s been like a teensy bit of time (like two days) since they got here, it needs to have time to build up aksdkfgh my playlist my rules <3)

two time—jack stauber’s micropop (hinata’s pov, he also seems to be developing some feelings, but something seems…off? i wonder what it could possibly be…)

danganronpa super mix—masafumi takada (the killing game has begun blah blah blah you know the drill)

chapter 1

entropy—awkward mania (aka komaeda being a little shit pt 1, now in this intense situation, komaeda does his 180 and starts his descent, but it’s for hope so that’s fine :P (probably when he plans the murder set up))

ghost rule—deco*27 (komaeda’s antagonistic demeanour reveal to hinata and the others. he gets hinata to figure out his malice, if he “figured the (komaeda) he knew was just a sham”. he knows his crush? and the rest will likely dislike him from now, but needs to push on so that he’s able to assist them in overcoming any despair thrown at them)

you give love a bad name—bon jovi (hinata feels betrayed, poor bby ;( the person he once liked? (crushed on) and was kind enough to help him out during introductions and the investigation is now gone)

it should have been me—riproducer (more komaeda monologue bullshit,,,,basically saying that hinata should have chosen komaeda as the blackened and is now confused as to why hinata is mad at him. after all, all he wanted to do was lead the ultimates towards hope and combat despair, why is the one he considerably looked up to most so upset with him? oh well, now that komaeda is here to stay (potentially for now) now his pandora’s box opened, he warns hinata to keep a close eye on him unless he were to act out again….)

chapter 2 and chapter 3

pandora’s box—marina (hinata’s just hurt and confused by komaeda’s behaviour tbh, but like. fair. now he’s become like an enigma oooooohhh)

problems—mother mother (komaeda’s pov, him bad in the eyes of hinata, hinata good >:( and komaeda self deprecation™. he still loves hinata tho despite the killing game because that’s the totally normal response to all of this, i can’t really fit more here?? LOL maybe “tied up and branded, locked in a cage” can be a reference to THAT scene but like, yea that’s it ajsjsdfgh)

the outsider—marina (komaeda having a main character moment™, also, he KNOWS he’s unpredictable and hard to comprehend. uh oh)

inferno—reinaeiry (komaeda being a little shit pt 2, he wants to rile hinata up with some antagonistic flirting babeyyyy)

love trial—chano, 40mp (komaeda’s guilty of being in love (smh he should be he fell in love in a damn killing game :///) he still thinks he has a chance for hinata to love him back, while simultaneously helping him and MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT FOR HIM ansjdfghh (aka komaeda being a little shit pt 2) he also suspects hinata may like him back in some way but he’s just denying it 👀)

bodybag—chloe moriondo (hinata’s having conflicted feelings :// sometimes he wants to punch komaeda on the mouth with HIS mouth and sometimes he just wants to punch him)

vices and virtues—reinaeiry (kinda chapter 3 territory here. komahina narrative foils real?!?)

hermit the frog—marina (this one’s kinda iffy but eehhh, it’s a flip flop of pov’s between hinata and komaeda, first, hinata knows that komaeda can outsmart him, and is always one step head of him in the trials and it still annoys him akskddgg then it switches to komaeda (at: “well i, went to the doctors believing…”) when he’s got the liars disease and wants hinata to stay but is unable to do so (ya know THAT scene) (fun fact: this part was inspired by an animatic) then some lead up to early chapter 4 and more homoerotic tension blah blah blah. like i said, this one’s a bit hard to fit in with the timeline but the animatic part is what stuck to me keeping it in)

bizzare love triangle—new order (hinata looking back on ch 1 komahina times and missing it “why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday?” he’s scared of what’s gonna happen between them down the line)

chapter 4

no strings attached (enemies to lovers)—backseat vagabond (it’s when they’ve entered the fun house and takes place some days before the 4th murder. literally just (one sided) hate smex LMAO….that leads to some reignited feelings from hinata…?)

i forgot that you exist—yonkagor (the investigation is underway and komaeda has just met up with hinata and nanami after the final dead room stuff. komaeda finds out everything and treats hinata like utter garbage, they break up without even being together in the first place <\3 brocken)

backstabber—kesha (“I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!1!1!1” hinata feels betrayed again. he’s just like “wth man :(“ and komaeda is still a bitch ansndf)

fan behaviour—issac dunbar (komaeda’s just like “oh you hate me? cute <3” (condescending) and basically just talks down to him that now the “tables have turned” because komaeda used to look up to hinata and the others and basically saw himself as a loser and now THEY’RE all the losers lmao)

woke up—olivia olson, zuzu (hinata grows a pair and is basically just like “you know what, screw you you’re so annoying and literally no one likes you lol stfu” also candy kingdom=hope philosophy or whatever bajsjdfg)

wolf in sheep’s clothing—set it off (hinata just digging into komaeda (probably during the trial), he’s literally SO done with his shit, the wire is about to snap :,))

wishful drinking—tessa violet (komaeda character song, after the 4th trial, he knows he’s separated from the group now more than ever (visually i see him in his cottage, poison bottle in his hand, whilst intense staring commences) and he starts to set up for the beginning of the end…..)

chapter 5

smile—ukuletea (this is specifically during the free time event with komaeda at the military base, or lack there of, because if you try to talk to him, komaeda says something along the lines of “don’t worry about me, go talk with one of the others” with a smile on his face (hence “carry on by, i’ll see you off with a smile) it’s meant to be the final ‘normal’ encounter you have with him before what comes after. i imagine that just somehow, someway, komaeda still couldn’t let go of those lingering feelings for hinata, but knows he can’t go back to the way things were, so he’s instead pushing hinata even more away :()

冬のはなし (Fuyu no hanashi)—given (komahina duet, both are looking at their broken relationship, what they’ve lost, they’re both finding difficulty to move on and forget what happened between them, it’s meant to be a sad but bittersweet moment of clinging onto a small piece of hope that each one will still have some longing feeling there)

i just want to be the one you love—cryst (for this one i imagine that komaeda is listening to this on a record player in his cottage (don’t question it LMAO) more longing and loss for a love he can never have,,, ;()

oh ana—thquib, gumi (komaeda is conflicted :// he wants to become the ultimate hope by getting rid of the others (the remnants of despair) but he also hates having to find out this information because of what it means (from his perspective anyways). komaeda still clings onto his deep love for hinata even despite being the personification of his near opposing worldview, and is desperate for hinata to help him out of his turmoil)

bang!—ajr (now with his extremely antagonistic persona, komaeda explodes the lobby and threatens to blow up the rest of the island unless the traitor reveals themself)

crossing the line—mandy moore and eden espinosa (komahina duet, hinata says that komaeda has finally gone too far and begs for him to stop what he is doing, which komaeda refutes saying he will do anything it takes to see his plans be fulfilled, even if that means the others will see him as a complete monster for it)

nothing left to lose—jeremy jordan and eden espinosa (komahina duetttt, literally just a reiteration of same thing that’s explained in the song above (i TOLD you i like to insert as many songs as possible to convey the agenda LOL))

ready as i’ll ever be—tangled cast (another kmhn duet, hinata and the gang go to search for the hidden bombs komaeda has planted on the island, while komaeda goes to set up in the warehouse, both are preparing themselves for whatever may come next)

killer—the ready set (komaeda finally decides to let go of his feelings for hinata, as he will soon no longer be alive to still have them)

time is running out—muse (hinata is still searching for the bombs, and feels backed into a corner by komaeda’s actions, he feels komaeda has complete control in this situation, but is still somehow despite it all intrigued by him. it’s like it’s a car crash you can’t look away from )

again—crusher-p (komaeda’s lament pt 1, with a side of self torment and depreciation, he internally regrets how far he went with his antagonistic behaviour but it’s too late to go back)

eventually—tame impala (komaeda’s lament pt 2, with a side of regret and mourning, he truely believes that this is the only way out of this situation, and with that small lingering attachment of his feelings towards hinata, komaeda internally apologises for all the pain he has caused his one-sided (?) love, knowing his death will hopefully be the last time he gives hinata any grief, that he will eventually move on from komaeda,,,,)

sweet hibiscus tea—penelope scott (komaeda’s lament pt 3 with a side of dissasociation and questioning of what is reality (see: “the artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves”) before the door opens to his demise)

arms tonite—mother mother (“i died in you armsssss” *cue dramatic komaeda dying in hinata’s arms scene*. it’s kinda like komaeda talking from beyond the grave, lol)

stuff is way—they might be giants (okay so that infamous makoto and junko animatic of the same song but replace those two with kmhn and the events that have happened over the course of the jabberwock killing school trip up til now. if you haven’t watched it pls do it’s so good)

karma—crusher-p (hinata has just been completely and utterly crushed by what has happened now. kinda like a stages of grief thing (he’s on denial and anger ansjddf) he thinks komaeda’s luck has finally failed him and got the karma that was coming to him: (a reference to the aforementioned wolf in sheep’s clothing)(but shhhh, he knows nothing yet)

all eyes on me—or3o (the chapter 5 trial, hinata basically just reflecting on komaeda’s actions, how he controlled and took centre stage during almost every previous trial and now it’s his turn to uncover the menacing truth komaeda left behind for him (salty salty aksndnfgg))

hidden in the sand—tally hall (after the chapter 5 trial, hinata mourns in his cottage once more and looks back on the time he and komaeda spent together during the prologue because those are good memories for him :,))

chapter 6

something changed—creepP (the epilogue to chapter 5 leading into the final chapter, when hinata and the remaining survivors are beginning to sense this island may not be what they’ve believed this whole time, with friends they’ve mourned suddenly appearing before them, their return to hopes peak, surrounded by glitched walls, unexpected jumps from room to room, and mangas outlining moments and events they can’t seem to remember,, in addition to monokuma’s strange behaviour, it’s easy to see that something isn’t quite right,,,,)

haze—tessa violet (inspired by another animatic of the same song, it’s hinata centric and centred around his feelings and thoughts as kamukura coming into light, and the subsequential transformation, featuring some tiny kmhn crumbs)

help me—or3o (chapter 6 trial, hinata’s pov. a final reflection of all that has occurred in the now world, also the official hinata was kamukura reveal. the inner voices of nanami and kamukura in addition to the help from the other survivors, pushing his determination to take down alter ego junko and create his own future (yeah these last few songs aren’t really kmhn centric but like. komaeda being unalivan’t doesn’t help with that ajsjdfgh))

white space—omori (ahhh this is just them getting out of the neo world, with the final walls crumbling and the venture into the unknown future ahead of them)

🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎

post game

it’s not the same anymore—rex orange county (hinata laments on how simple his life used to be, but now that’s something he can never turn back to, and he knows it. so, all he can do now is live with it and move on towards a better future with the help of his friends)

strange sight—kt tunstall (IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! to me this is like The komahina song Ever. this is once the survivors have woken up, and their comatose classmates have miraculously woken up, all except for one. hinata goes into the room with all the pods to set up the world destroyer program for komaeda, but before he does that, he looks down at the occupied pod, reflects once again on this boy, no not boy, man, this enigma, the fact that this is the one singular person in his life that has never been more interesting and confusing to him, and yet he still wants to understand him, understand him even more, wake him up so he can at last get closer to him the way he wished when they first met on that beach in the neo world>>>>>)

danganronpa 2.5 (komaeda and the world destroyer)

bitter choco decoration—syudou ((also known as: komaeda’s analysis hour) (komaeda’s perspective of his life and what he sees around him,,, komaeda has always wanted to help others instead of be helped, he tries not to hurt the ones he cares about,, he smiles and laughs with practiced ease, even if it means it’s at his own expense,,, after all, why should his classmates worry about him? he aims to praise and worship, telling them what they want to hear even if he doesn’t believe it himself because they display so much potential, so much hope, they don’t deserve to be upset or dragged down by his burdens . he will insert himself as a background character into each of their lives, and shut down his own significance in process)

i hate it here—quinn (komaeda’s artificial world,,, throughout living within the program, komaeda begins to slightly change his perspective of himself, he feels as though his luck is a complete waste of a talent and he’s becoming something he never wished to be, just another face in the crowd. rather, if he were in a more ideal world, talent wouldn’t matter much to him, his good luck rather helped those he cared about and the bad luck was instead given to himself, and he would maybe even have friends (even though they may be somewhat reluctant))

miss wanna die—jubyphonic (i see this as komaeda with the world destroyer, someone who feels somewhat familiar to him for a reason he can’t yet sustain, killing his friends and ruining his ‘perfect world’. when he meets world destroyer, komaeda knows it’s there for a specific reason, for some reason he senses and flashes back to a specific and stubborn presence continuously reaching out for him that for some reason feels that komaeda can’t continue to be in this coping mechanism world he has created for the rest of his sleeping life (i wonder who that is ajsjdfg). he realises that this is a dream he’s been living in and wishes to wake up and return to reality

絶対希望バースデ—megumi ogata (roll credits on 2.5 babey :))))

🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎

hope arc

connect—amalee (hinata’s pov, after looking at what remains of their wrecked and damaged world, clouded with loss, death, and desolate destruction, whilst observing komaeda from his personal nwp run in order to wake him, hinata gives himself a silent vow to always be by komaeda’s side, and to ensure they both can help each other recover within what remains of their despair-ridden world, and rebuild it together along with support from their friends and found family now matter how hard it may be)

心做し—akane (komaeda has woken up, hinata shows no anger, resentment or hate toward him and wonders why, he believes hinata should despise him with every fibre of his being after all the pain he had caused during the killing game, he doesn’t want hinata to be hurt by him again, so komaeda tries to push him away once more, but hinata just holds him and comforts him as komaeda cries into his shoulder)

strange sight reprise—kt tunstall (hinata comforts komaeda some more, finally being able to understand him just a little (only a little, for now, he thinks. a small success regardless) he tells komaeda that he still believes him to be a good person because hinata knows komaeda genuinely cares about him and the others in his own (quirky) way

that distant shore—jennifer paz (hhhhhh komaeda has internal hope for resolution and recovery, with the inclination that he’s no longer alone now that hinata and him are getting along again,,,sorry LMAO kinda brain dead rn to think of anything else to say here)

flaws—bastille (hinata takes at look at his and komaeda’s flaws: komaeda’s being his luck, something he’s always had to live with, how it’s affected him, affected others and how he’s never hidden the fact that he believed his luck to be a burden to him. meanwhile hinata’s flaw was his feeling towards talent, his lack there of and how that ultimately led him to forever changing his life, he hated his flaws so much that he wanted to bury them as deep as possible, so others wouldn’t see how easily they were able to control his emotions. and now, after all they’ve been through, they are able to live with the flaws they have and use them to better understand each other)

our life—fat bard (some time after hope arc, hinata’s pov, the remnants of despair are now living on the island that was once an artificial nightmare. despite the tragedy, jabberwock almost looks to be returning into a peaceful paradise again. things have begun to change: structures being rebuilt, the sky returning blue with time, crimes slowly being forgiven and bonds being formed (wink wink nudge nudge). days and months come and go, the remnants have made peace that they will be potentially spending the rest of their lives here.

sunkissed—khai dreams (peaceful jabberwock dayze, komaeda’s pov. the feelings of his crush that he first had on the very same island from forever ago have returned tenfold, hinata has gotten closer to him and there’s a feeling of reciprocation there, but he’s to scared to confess to hinata just yet, he’s pining :()

walk but in the garden—llusion, mxmtoon (moar peaceful jabberwock dayze. hinata’s pov. him spending time with komaeda doing mundane things, hanging out and having fun despite being isolated from the rest of the world. they’ve managed to find their own peace here :))

still into you—paramore (omgggg confession time, the time has finally come!! :D aka: despite everything, it’s still you……and they were narrative foils and now they’re in love (omg they were narrative foils and now they’re in love))

come what may—nicole kidman and ewan mcgregor (komahina duetttttt *singing with intensity* “SUDDENLY MY LIFE DOESN’T SEEM SUCH A WASTE, IT ALL REVOLVES AROUND YOUUUU” each one at the beginning of their lives were shrouded with a feeling of being someone who is so worthless, one because of their talent, and the other because they lacked talent,,,but now they have both found someone they love and cherish, and make them feel their life is worth living for what remains until the end of time HHHHHHHH)

good old-fashioned lover boy—queen (kmhn marriage!! preparations….they write their vows and celebrate with their friends and kiss….yeas…)

me and my husband—mitski (pretty self explanatory ahsjdjdfg. komaeda’s pov btw)

AND WE’RE FINALLY DONE!! oof that took a while lmaooo, there’s more i could probably expand on in some songs but my brain hurts aaahhh

also take note that these songs are subject to change, i may take some out if i find a better replacement but what i have here now is just what i think fits best at the time!! i know it’s not perfect ajsjdfg and if you had some alternative songs, or new ones to potentially add please feel free to share!! but once again thank you so much! to think something i did self indulgently and as a joke became something people genuinely like makes my happy! :)

edit: as of writing this, i have replayed the playlist and taken some songs out that either didn’t quite fit or were too repetitive, but as i said, it’s subject to change :))

[vannybarber]

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

[intersexcat-tboy]

I'm gonna stop you there. You call "transwomen" male (link) and believe in AGP, your opinion is worthless.

Yes. It literally is. Your attempt to appeal to popularity while erasing the trans and intersex population will not sway me lmao.

You're really talking about infants crying out for their mothers while speaking as a gay man? Who would your child call out to? How does one define mother? Which one for those with two? This is before considering trans people, where one legally may be a mother but are referred to as a father.

You're actually gonna try "perceived sex" bullshit on someone who is trans and intersex?

When you think that (link) "almost no one earnestly believes 'sex is a spectrum' or that medical transition literally changes your sex" (get out of here with your compulsory dyadism bullshit), how does one perceive sex when you admit that (link) "what sex someone is perceived as has VERY LITTLE to do with their gender presentation"?

"that takes a long time to unlearn ):" then unlearn it. I stopped when I heard the concept at 10, barely had to begin with because why the fuck are we thinking about someone's hormones, chromosomes, and reproductive anatomy? Why does it concern you? Why are we expected to guess it? That's weird dude. You clearly have a LOT to unlearn as...

You think "it should really say 'sex at birth'" (link), no it shouldn't. It should say "if you have or had the ability to get pregnant" or otherwise focus on the actual thing it is treating. You've argued against similar language (link), speaking as if you know what trans people want.

You also support the idea of "female only shelters" (link) and think it is reasonable, completely missing the point as to why they exist. You said "the mind boggles" (link) in agreement to a TERF's post shitting on transbians who use their penises, supporting the gatekeeping of transness to only those with severe dysphoria, especially regarding genitalia, which is not the first time you've said this bullshit (link).

Seems you don't support bodily autonomy (link) and prefer denying the existence of people you don't understand, yet again reblogging in support of a TERF, this time the post said phalloplasties aren't dicks and calls trans men females. You also think that in theory "your birth sex will have no bearing on your social position any longer" is "toxic" (link), and that infants are born as women (weird). You flip flop between transphobia being real and an issue to solve, to sneering "while the ones born male and heterosexual are now the disenfranchised you should give priority to"

You've defended JK Rowling (link), implying that she doesn't hate trans people. You've argued for the "AHF" definition (link) before, and even further erased trans individuals, thinking for some reason you have the ability to discern and decide what isn't transphobic. You call something that's been around for a third of your life a "recent trend" (link) bc you only recently learned of it

You even say it yourself (link) it's actually fine to use they/them if you use it for everyone

Transphobic misogynistic cis women 🤝 transphobic misogynistic trans women

"it's dehumanizing and misogynistic for strangers to call me a person and use they/them for me, you should assume I'm a woman by how I look"