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#but the last person was genuinely heartbroken
mydemonsyourangels · 10 months
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so i think i don't want to see the guy i'm seeing again. i really hate doing this though. this is the third time this exact situation has happened
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ichigosoju · 4 months
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🌷
#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted#i go all in if i love#but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him#but... they only lasted a month then they broke up#she left. and i get that she and i are different people#but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him#i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about#and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish#i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him#i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him#(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all#i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf#if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his#and him mine... that's so crazy to me#that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go#but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much#then im just crazy#and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all#bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him#im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that#so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry#sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him
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senxitive · 4 months
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I hate my life & I hate everything ❤️
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archivist-the-knight · 10 months
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love looking at the "who would win in a fight" memes and going "they'd all be friends and have tea NEXT"
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luveline · 6 months
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do you have anything more from office frenemies with james? i just read it and i loved it so much
yes! love u ty
—you and James don’t get along until you kind of, sort of do. fem!reader, 1.5k
James listens to the most obnoxious playlist in the mornings. There’s about a fifteen minute window between when he arrives and when the workday officially starts, which coincides exactly with your window. He often gets the same elevator ride, walks a pace beside you, and decides whether he’s going to let the ‘lady’ go first through the door depending on the day. 
That morning, he’d opened the door widely, grinned at you with music blaring loud enough to make a normal person deaf from his earphones, and let you pass. Then he pretended to stick his foot out to trip you up, pulling it back at the last second. 
Jerk, you think, angry even now as he tucks himself into his desk, his earphones still ridiculously loud. He actually, genuinely, is going to get hearing damage. You’re not being bitter. Human ears aren’t meant for that. 
You click onto the workplace Outlook and open a tab on your desktop. How loudly can you listen to music? you google. A few articles appear straight away that fit your purpose —you drag them each into an empty email. Then, smiling to yourself, you find an article on the negative effects of workplace noise pollution and how this sort of selfishness can affect your coworkers’ mental health and add that at the very top. 
Hi James, 
please find attached a few articles I felt might be important for you to read.
Worst, 
Your unhappy adjacent desk. 
You know he’s received it when he laughs loudly, turning down his music with a few quick clicks on his phone. 
An email comes through to your inbox shortly after.
Hi bestie, 
I’m so so sorry for the noise. Please find attached a few articles I, in turn, felt you might enjoy. 
Best, 
James Potter :) 
He’s attached an irksome variation of articles. Why music can help you get ready for the day. Ten ways workplace friendships are important. Can you really find your soulmate at work? 
You open your personal messaging system. You tend not to use it with James, but this morning he’s winding you up. 
I could report you to HR for that last one, you send. 
He replies quickly. You try very hard not to look up at him from over your desktop. I didn’t mean me. 
You’ll be deaf by thirty. 
Jealous you don’t have such great taste in music? 
Jealous of everyone in the annex. 
Want a cup of coffee?
You meet his gaze finally over the computer, find him already looking at you. You shake your head scornfully. In what world would you ever want him to make you a coffee? He’s never actually offered to make you one before, to be fair, but he’s awful to you so what are you supposed to think? He’ll probably poison it. 
He stands to leave. Remus, the other accountant to complete your trio, arrives while he’s gone with his boyfriend Sirius in tow. They’re also James’ best friends, unfortunately. It makes for some awkwardness. 
“Where is he?” Remus asks you, in the midst of a quick goodbye kiss before Sirius makes his way to his desk further down the office. 
You nibble your lip and give a dispassionate shrug. You hate talking about James. You hate his stupid mess of hair, his reading glasses, his lips when he smiles crookedly and worse when he’s glaring at you. You hate the way he sighs as he clicks his neck, the quick lap he does every other hour complaining of tired legs, the genuine tenderness he shows you whenever you’re sick. You hate James. You don't like to think about him too much lest you get caught, a fish in a net.
Or a fish with a painful hook in its lip. 
“Ah, you’re here,” James says, two cups of coffee in his hand. 
You’re only a little heartbroken when he puts one on his desk and one on Remus’. Didn’t want one anyways. 
Remus grins as James comes up behind him for a rough hug and hair ruffle. “How was last night?” 
“I wish you’d come. Sirius spent all night trying to out drink Marl, you know he can’t, so I spent all night holding his hair out of his face. I wasn’t gonna talk to him this morning, but he was being very pathetic.” 
James laughs. You pretend you aren’t listening to them, pretend you don’t feel left out even if they have no reason to be your friend, clicking at random things on your screen and scrolling through spreadsheets long finished and filed. “You know I couldn’t come, Moony,” —no point starting on their awful nicknames— “what if she needed me?” 
You still. She? 
“James, there’s not much you can do,” Remus says gently. He’s a quiet, soft sort of man, but they’re all so loud about loving one another. “You have to let her… you know.” 
You feel them both looking at you, your gaze steadfast on your screen. 
“Try not to think about it,” Remus says. 
“I’ve been distracting myself,” James agrees. 
Oh, you think. Oh. I’m such a dick. 
“You could go home?” Remus says, putting his face in his hand. “I could cover you.” 
“It’s too much work.” 
“I know, but, you know, I’ll do half, and you’ll only have half to catch up on when you come back.” 
You’re not sure who she is, and you very much still don’t like James Potter, but you're not heartless. He sounds awfully upset, fragility to his voice and a foreign balling of his fist by his hip. “Um,” you say, clearing your throat weakly, “well, with me and Remus, we could cover for you.” 
James’ face is unreadable, looking down at you. “You’d cover for me?” he asks. 
“Your work isn’t exactly hard, James.” 
“But you’d do it?” 
“How long will you be off for?” 
James frowns. “Like, two days?” he says quietly. 
“That’s fine. We can do that,” you say, checking with Remus from around James hip. “Yeah?” 
“Of course,” Remus says quickly. 
James looks at you long and hard. “You’re not kidding?” 
“No, James. Not kidding. You’d do the same for me, right?” 
James leans down to hug you before you can stop him. His arms wrap around your shoulders, a perfectly amicable touch made up of sleeper muscle and the attractive smell of almond oil, nearly sweet, slightly woody. He laughs against your cheek as he pulls away, turning back to Remus for a similar hug. “Thank you. I’ll go tell Danny right now.” He beams at you. His relief is thick as honey, palpable in his warm tone. “Thank you.” 
You can’t look at him very long. 
The memory of his fingers linger, the weight of his arm behind your head. He excuses himself to go talk to your boss, and you and Remus sit in a semi-awkward silence, of which you’re wholly responsible. 
“His cat is dying,” Remus says eventually.
You wince. “Oh, no, really?” you ask. 
“He’s had her since we were kids. It’s really nice of you to do this.”
“I really do think he’d do it for me,” you interrupt. “I’m not, you know, cruel, because we don’t get on.” 
“I know. James knows that too.” 
You want to get defensive. Why does it matter if James knows? But Remus is too nice to argue with, and secretly, strangely, you’d wanted James to know you aren’t mean. You wouldn’t have sent him that email this morning if you’d known, and maybe this is apology enough for that. 
Still, it doesn’t feel right when James returns, gathering his suit jacket from the back of his chair. “Thank you guys, so much. I will bring you the most amazing desserts of all time as a thank you. I won’t even put your mug on the top shelf the next time I wash it,” James promises you. 
You bat aside the rage of knowing he’s the culprit and instead get out of your seat before he can leave. “Uh, James?” you ask. 
He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?” 
You look at the floor by his shoes. “About earlier…”
James stands subtly between you and the bulk of the office. “You okay?” 
“I just– I’m sorry for complaining about your earphones. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive.” 
“You weren’t insensitive,” he says, “I was being obnoxious. Don’t worry about it, okay?” 
“I–” You hate yourself for all your stammering. “Hope whatever is wrong, that you’re okay. I’ll cover for you for the week if you need me to.” 
“Please stop feeling sorry for me. It looks weird on you. I much prefer you when you’re frowning, you get these super deep wrinkles in your forehead that I just love.” 
You turn away without looking up. “I’m gonna input all your sales information wrong.” 
“And I’m gonna bring you the best donut you’ve ever tasted to say thanks, sweetheart.” 
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ohimsummer · 9 months
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DARK RED ft. BULLY!SATOSUGU
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— minors dni, angst w/comfort, mostly bully!satoru x reader, ft. bully! suguru, one implication of male masturbation, some fluff, also one (1) kiss
summary; bully! satoru manages to seriously upset you, and now he’s scrambling to give you a genuine apology
wc 2.8k
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"I thought love was supposed to be easy."
Geto pauses mid-sip. "Oh, is that what you're calling this?"
Satoru leans further into his hand. His cheek smushes against his palm, muffling his grumbles. "Duh. What else would it be?"
"You being a dumbass."
Gleaming, white hair sways over Satoru's forehead, brushes his skin. "She wasn't supposed to react like that." You don't usually react like that, he thinks.
He toys with you all the time. The constant teasing and insults towards you is a regular occurrence, as much as you seem to hate it, but you always end up angrily leaving Gojo in the dust, and then the cycle repeats the next day. Only it was different last time; they’re your usual cries and shouts, but it’s a different type of outburst. Real tears in your eyes, your choked words of 'you suck!' and 'why can't you ever take anything seriously for once?' piercing through Gojo's heart and leaving a still-bleeding wound. They don't have your usual, pissed-off bite to them, but instead sound miserable. Heartbroken and disappointed, like the victim of a betrayal. Your expression shriveled any incoming words up in Satoru's throat, leaving him wide-eyed and dumbfounded as he watched you messily wipe away flowing tears and shove past him. That was last Wednesday, and he hasn't seen you since, not a glimpse or even a whiff of you on campus. It's like you never attended this college to begin with.
Satoru looks at his text messages with you, the last one being a dismal 'princess?' that you hadn't even read. He'd thought about threatening to leak one of the many sex tapes he had of you in his phone, but usually those coercions were bluffs, as Gojo nor Geto would dare leak their precious videos of you like that to anyone else. Besides, somehow forcing you into showing yourself made Satoru's stomach queasy. Like he'd vomit up his own heart.
"There."
He looks up at the sound of Geto's voice, following his pointed finger to the drink machine in the cafeteria. After loitering around for 2 hours, you'd finally shown up, alone and looking a little worse for wear. Even from a distance, Satoru can spot the dark circles under your eyes.
You stand idly in line, awaiting your turn to fill your cup. Eyes flitting from person to person, looking out for a fray of white strands or dark hair. It's hard to discern when the cafeteria is so busy at this hour, though you're not too concerned. Gojo and Geto don't usually frequent the cafe, not unless they're here to cause trouble. And you've been avoiding Satoru for about a week now with no complaints from either of them, so you're hoping you can get in and out without being spotted.
It’s an easy walk out of the cafeteria building, and you’re on your way back to your dorm when a familiar nickname stops you in your tracks. "Hey, princess!"
Fight or flight kicks in, and unfortunately your feet cement to the ground. His presence grows stronger as he draws near, until you can sense Gojo right behind you.
"Been avoiding me, Y/N?"
It feels off. He never really calls you by your actual name. "Why do you care?"
A few seconds of silence pass. Then, "Guess I missed my pretty girl is all."
Your heart aches for a second, before you scoff. "Sure you did. What, it's not the same making some other girl cry?"
Gojo doesn't answer, and you finally force your legs to pick up, heaving yourself towards your destination.
"Sorry."
Aaand, they're stuck again. Blinking, your head eases to the side, catching sight of Gojo in the corner of your vision. He looks awkward, staring at you with hands in his pockets and scuffing the ground as he kicks at the concrete. A knot forms in your stomach, hearing him utter an apology without his usual sarcasm or malice. It almost makes you want to talk things over, until the pain of your previous encounter comes flooding back, and you leave him standing there by himself. Rejected.
Day turns to darkness, and Satoru is stuck with another night of humping his fist like a desperate virgin. Suguru’s out, no telling where, leaving him alone with regretful thoughts to torment him. The next day passes. Then two. Then three. Satoru feels like he's going insane, and it's not just because he misses fucking you on the daily. He never realized just how much of a constant you were in his life until suddenly you weren't. Fuck. He groans into his pillow.
"Maybe give her a non-half-baked apology, like a normal person.," Geto complains. "And stop making so much noise, you're distracting."
"Fuck off."
"Fine, she can stay mad at you forever for all I care. You're the one who can't get in her pussy, not me."
Satoru jolts up, jaw falling slack as he glares at who was supposed to be his best friend. "Wha–, you're still fucking her? I just saw her for the first time again like three days ago!"
A smile stretches across Geto’s face. "Do you think our darling is stupid? Why would I get punished for your wrong-doings, she knows I’d fuck her up for that. "
Gojo flops face-down back onto the bed. "Not fair. We should be suffering together."
"Hell no, this is a personal problem between you and Y/N."
He groans again, legs kicking in the air. "Suguruuu, what do I do?"
"...Give her a genuine apology? I coulda sworn I just said that.”
"I already said sorry!"
"Genuine, I said. Not lazy. Give her something she likes."
Satoru turns slightly, brows furrowed. "What, like flowers? I don't know her favorites."
"Sunflowers."
Gojo pauses, directing a curious stink-eye towards Suguru. "And how do you know that?"
"Because I asked?"
Satoru rests a cheek against his arm, thoughts wandering off as he thinks of all the things he knows about you. Small things he's noticed. Like how you wear necklaces more often than any other jewelry, what certain colors catch your eye, things you've mentioned in passing when arguing with him. And now he does remember offering you a random weed he plucked from the ground as a joke, and you muttering 'what the fuck? for future reference, i like sunflowers’ before walking away from him.
"Suguru!," the mentioned man jolts at the sudden bellow of his name. "I'm making Y/N a bouquet!"
"Right." Geto rolls his eyes. "Do you even know how to do that?"
"Do you?"
"Not really–“
"Excellent, cancel your plans tomorrow, we're going out to get flowers!"
Suguru sighs. "Fine."
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Both men, well Satoru, and a very grumpy Suguru after being shaken to consciousness, get up bright and early the next Saturday morning in search of a florist.
"Are these vibrant enough, ya think?" Satoru questions Geto, rubbing a hand over his own chin in contemplation. These flowers needed to be perfect, he wanted only the best for his ba–, you.
"These for someone special?," the lady behind the booth inquires. She smiles politely as she admires the golden petals. "A girlfriend, or wife, perhaps?"
"Uh–“
"Wife.," Satoru cuts Geto off. "So yes, very special, indeed."
He narrows his eyes at Suguru, who poorly muffles a chuckle behind his hand. "What?"
"Nothing. Didn't know you were married, is all."
Satoru shrugs, turning to examine the sunflowers again. "Hmph. That just shows you know nothing about me."
“I know you’re a jackass.”
“Anyway,” Gojo brushes him off. “I think these look terrific, perfect for my girl. I’ll take them all!”
Silence passes. The florist’s lids flutter in astonishment. “All of them?”
“Yep! This bouquet needs to be huge!”
Suguru places a hand on his shoulder. “I think that’s enough for several bouquets.”
Gojo’s grin widens. “Even better! Give ‘em to me.”
The looks both men get as they walk the streets with giant armfuls of sunflowers are…peculiar, but Satoru is too busy firing off his own praises on how he’s going to give you the best apology of your life to notice.
“I’m gonna make her cry!,” he beams, pauses, before adding, “Happy tears this time, though.”
Shoulders bounce as Suguru laughs, unable to stifle it with his hands full of shining yellow flowers. “She might just tell you to piss off.”
“Would it kill you to have some faith in me?”
“A little, yes.”
Geto curses under his breath. ‘Shit!’ as he goes stumbling forward right over Satoru’s foot, almost loosing his grip on the assortment in his arms.
“Hey, don’t you dare drop those.,” Gojo pouts. “These are for my wife, and they’re her favorite.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
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It takes Satoru hours before he’s happy with the final product. Along with countless tutorials on how to organize a bouquet properly.
“Hold it this way.,” he commands Suguru, who rolls his tired eyes, ready to catch up on the sleep he missed this morning. “There, perfect! Wait, hold on, let me just redo this.”
“Can you hurry up?,” Geto frowns at him. “You’ve redone it like a million times already, damn.”
“Hey, my marriage is at stake here, excuse me for trying to make this look like the best bouquet she’ll ever see!”
“I’m letting go.”
“Nonowait! Okay, I’m done, promise.”
The bouquet comes out stunning, given the fact it was whipped up by two college boys who’d never created a bouquet in their lives, and especially when one of those college boys was Satoru Gojo. He boasts to Suguru, who’s yanking a blanket over his head, how it’s “his best work yet”.
“Maybe be a little more humble when you give it to her.,” Suguru grumbles as Satoru heads out, eager to present you with the display of his apologetic affections.
There’s a certain pep in his step, an excitement Gojo doesn’t often feel unless it’s to see your pretty face. Elated can’t even begin to describe it. The image of your soft lips curling into a smile, eyes sparkling as you see the large array of your favorite flowers, pushes Satoru closer and closer to your dorm building, which stands tall before him. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back. Heart swelling, Gojo can see it now, this surprise is going to make you ecstatic–
“Gojo?”
He halts mid-stride, foot hovering in the air, arms loosening around the bouquet. Satoru turns towards the sound and there you are, standing ten feet from him. Your mouth is open in a small ‘o’ as you notice the gift in his hand. Both of you stand there for a moment, eyeing each other, before you eventually break the silence.
“What’s that?”
Satoru snaps back to life, fumbling terribly to stuff the large bouquet behind his back, and he damns himself for making something so awkwardly huge. You watch, biting back a giggle, as he tries to hide what you’ve so obviously seen already. He stutters “u-uh, nothing!’ as a few petals flutter down from his hard work, and he curses ‘fuck!’.
It's easy to sneak up on Gojo when he's so busy floundering with the bunch of flowers. Your mouth threatens to grow into a smile, teeth sinking into your lips at the outlandish sight of him struggling to completely conceal the massive bouquet from your sight. The sharp pinch of your fingertips on his shoulder snatches Gojo from his frantic thoughts.
“Is this your way of apologizing again?”
“No!,” is his instant reply, startling you until Gojo averts his gaze to the concrete. “I mean...yeah. You ruined the surprise.”
This interaction feels more routine, less delicate. The way his lips jut out in a pout, his teasing banter. Crossing arms over your chest, you give Gojo an unamused look. “Ummm, it’s huge. How did you plan on hiding that from me?”
“…”
Satoru thinks his heart stutters as you hold out your arms, hands gesturing for the bouquet, and he slowly reveals the assortment of flowers behind his back. Through his panicked, rushed efforts to hide them, the paper has torn, some of the flowers are missing petals, and some aren’t in the exact position he and Suguru had so meticulously arranged them.
“Dumbass.,” you huff, wrapping fingers around the stems, which are adorned with a crinkly, cream colored paper and a dark green bow. “I’m still mad with you.”
Satoru’s breath hitches as your fingers brush his, as if it's the first time he's ever touched you. He relinquishes hold of the bouquet. “You like ‘em, though? Don’t lie, I can tell.”
“Just shut up.”
He flashes you a toothy, boyish grin, one that makes your heart beat a little faster. “It’s all for you, my pretty Y/N.”
Eyes rolling, you intently study the bouquet, raising it to hide your flustered expression. A warmth creeps over your body at the way Satoru utters your name, like if he says it too loudly, it will break apart into glass pieces. The paper creases under your restless fingers.
“Thank you, Satoru.”
The flowers are striking, but Gojo doesn’t think they compare at all to your beauty. Blue eyes admire you, at the way you marvel over the bunch of sunflowers, beaming at how fresh and vibrant and downright captivating they are. You glance up to meet Satoru’s eye, and he rubs at the back of his neck.
“So, uh,” he starts, avoiding your gaze. “I’m sorry about what I said. Really didn’t mean to upset you that much.”
Your eyes narrow. “That much?”
“Well, you know you’re really hot when you’re mad, but I didn’t mean to do that–“
“And did I look hot then?”
“No! Well, you weren’t ugly, but I didn’t like seeing you so upset–, usually it’s a turn on when you’re all angry but it felt different that time and Suguru didn’t tell me until later you were having a super rough day so I figured I might have hit a nerve–“
You cradle the bouquet to your chest, thoroughly enjoying the clumsy flow of his words, determined not to dig himself a deeper hole or upset you all over again. His lips pause, and then Gojo interrupts another sentence with a new one, before the downturn of his brows as he catches your gleaming eyes.
“My point is that I’m sorry.” He spots the twitch of your frown. “I know you wanna smile, let me see it.”
You can’t help but grin as your mouth opens. “No I don’t. And I guess you’re forgiven, now get away from me so I can enjoy my bouquet in peace.”
“Wait, that’s not it!” Before you turn away, Satoru reaches into his back pocket to pull out a small, white, silk bag with a white ribbon securing the opening. “I got this too. Here.”
You recognize the design of the tiny sack from a rather expensive jewelry store, one you could only dream of buying from. And now here you were, in possession of something from that same store, mouth gaping open as Satoru snickers.
“You just gonna stare, baby, or…?”
The fabric of the bag is soft in your hands, smooth and easy on your fingers. Hugging the bouquet to your side, the ribbon loosens to reveal a dainty, silver necklace inside, adorned with a small, heart charm engraved with your initials.
“Oh, wow . .” You’re awestruck at how delicate and pretty it looks. Turning it over, you find a “G.S” on the other side of the heart. “And Suguru’s initials on the back? How sweet.”
“Don’t play.”
“Whatever.,” you giggle at his downturned lips. “It’s very nice, I like it.”
Satoru can’t help pat himself on the back. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it? Cost a hefty chunk of change, especially since I wanted it so quick and on such short notice–“
“Uh huh.” This big dummy. Your smile grows at the thought.
“–and you know I just had to get the best for my pretty girl, plus I got kinda hard at the thought of my initials on your chest–“
Gojo’s words catch in his throat at the soft press of your lips to his cheek. Blood shoots to his face, instantly, and you can’t help bursting into a round of giggles, barely gasping out ‘you look like a strawberry!’. He’s so embarrassed that the realization that you willingly kissed him of your own accord doesn’t even register. All Satoru feels is a burning heat on his cheeks and a tightness in his chest, desire squeezing a fist around his heart as you smirk up at him through a fit of laughter.
“You are really somethin’ else. Bye, Satoru, also learn to stop talking sometimes.”
All Gojo can do is wave as you depart, leaving you with a ‘see ya, princess’ as you disappear into the building, sparing him one last glance. His phone vibrates as you leave his line of sight, announcing a text from Suguru.
asshole🤮: you give it to her yet?
s: i thought the sleeping beauty was getting a nap in?
asshole🤮: she told you to fuck off, didn’t she?
s: stfu
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redr0sewrites · 6 months
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So bc u requested Adam and/or Lute stuff I'd like to request Adam x male!reader? Like literally anything that comes to your mind, idc if it's sfw or nsfw I just crave it °^° (also if you're not comfy with writing male reader that's totally cool too, in that case just ignore this)
I HAVW NO QUALMS AB WRITING MALE READER NONNIE DW!!!! ♥️
🥀Cw: fluff, smut, male!reader, overall adam's usual shenanigans
🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw:
you can NOT look me in the eyes and tell me adam does not have some form of internalized homophobia, and the minute he starts catching feelings for you i genuinely think he'd have a mini crisis
because of his major fuckboy personality he has a LOT of experience with flirting with women, but literally no experience with flirting with men
adam is still pretty confident however, and would probably approach you first.
i think he'd have to be friends with you to catch feelings for you in the first place, so he's probably around you pretty often
adam is very subconsciously flirty with you, but in a much more genuine way without his usual bravado. he doesn't even realize how soft he acts around you, but others can tell by the way his eyes always follow you and how he seems to orbit around you, or the way he'll purposefully stand as close as possible when he's talking to you. theres also the fact that he's literally always touching you, whether it be an arm around your shoulders or a hand resting on your back, he just needs to be close to you. you attract him like a moth to a flame, even when he's in a crowded room all adam is focused on is getting your attention. even his casual hookups stop as he literally focuses all his time on winning you over, even he doesn't realize how much he likes you (everyone else can tell. theres a betting pool in heaven on when you both will get together and who will confess first, etc)
adam definitely acts like a BUFFOON around you, deep down he doesn't think someone like you would want to be with him and overcompensates by bragging constantly about all the woman he's liked in a slightly pathetic attempt to flirt with you and literally CONSTANTLY trying to get your attention. think of his usual flaunting attitude and then turn up the dial by 100%. he wants to be on your mind 24/7 the same way your on his mind all the time
meanwhile ur lowkey heartbroken, bc you think adam is straight and yet you can't get rid of your stupid ass crush on his stupid face!!!! it's honestly especially irritating because he'll flirt with you and call you so many petnames and nicknames and will always be touching you, so you think you have a chance, then all of a sudden he's talking about some girl he banged and you just feel a bit led on
its very amusing for lute to watch the both of you dance around eachother and your feelings, when you both so clearly like eachother but are too scared to do anything about it
honestly i think you'd both end up confessing to eachother in the middle of an argument, maybe your pissed at adam for bragging about the "super hot girl he banged last night" (she isn't real and he spent the entire night thinking about you) and he's pissed off that your getting mad at him instead of being impressed or falling in love with him
definitely one of those dramatic "because i LOVE you, okay?!" confessions i am cringe but i am free and adam just kinda stares at you for a hot minute
adam would literally be like "wait... YOU like ME???? i thought you HATED me????? IM the one who likes YOU!" in usual adam fashion, and you would literally be like -_-"YOU LIKED ME THIS WHOLE TIME??? WHY DIDNT U SAY ANYTHING????" his dumbass would literally be like "I WAS TRYING TO??????" and all of this useless dialogue would literally just end in the two of you admitting your true feelings (much to lute's amusement who was recording the entire thing bc she NEEDS to win that bet)
once you both are officially together? prepare for adam to be the clingiest mf alive (in a cute way tho). he waited so long to be with you and literally became solely devoted to you for a WHILE before winning you over and it's probably been a hot minute since he's genuinely dated someone. sure, he's had hookups, but real, soulful relationships aren't common with him.
adam is ridiculously loyal to you, definitely one of those people who will be like "i have a bf 🙄" when someone random texts them, even if that person wasn't even interested in them romantically
LOVESSS flaunting you!! adam will bring you to every event he attends, he loves bragging about you and showing you off to all of heaven
if anyone ever gave you any shit about your relationship adam would literally drop kick them, he's very defensive about your guys' relationship and wants everyone to know that he loves you.
adam doesn't know shit about labels or sexuality so you probably have to teach him some things, i honestly think he'd be pansexual or just queer/unlabeled (i am totallyyy nooot projecting)
nsfw:
adam has been alive a long time and thought he tried everything sex related under the sun, but being with a guy opened a whole new world of possibilities
adam had explored with anal a bit before, but never with a partner. only in the late hours of the night when jerking off just wasn't enough, and he found himself with a strange temptation, his hands creeping lower and lower until he finally began to thrust his fingers in and out of his aching hole, tears welling in his eyes from a mix of humiliation and pure pleasure. yet, when he admitted to having tried fingering himself before, he also admitted something else- he had never managed to make himself cum, and had always gotten too embarrassed to push himself over the edge
he is a switch FIGHT ME. the first time your both intimate, adam absolutely talks so much shit about topping yet starts whining the second he begins fucking your tight cavern. this leads to you taking control and fucking him senseless, and adam is shocked at how much he enjoys it
he takes dick like a champ, he's a bratty sub at first but once you praise or degrade him, he's melting like putty in your hands
adam is sooo loud, he's a shameless moaner and everyone within a mile radius can hear his screams
you have to teach him how to give head, and he is surprisingly a very fast learner. adam lowkey gets off on how humbling it is to be below you, and he's also the type to get off on his partner's pleasure.
adam definitely has some sort of breeding kink, and when he's fucked dumb and so, so needy, he'll beg you to cum inside, whining about fucking a baby into him and babbling pure nonsense
even though it is quite literally impossible for either of you to get pregnant, he loves that kind of dirty talk. adam will pretend to be embarrassed about it but the thought of you breeding him or him breeding you is genuinely such a turn on for him
yall literally never use a condom im sorry 💀
adam would enjoy topping as well, i def think he enjoys fucking you and he loves fucking you senseless with pleasure
the first time he tops adam goes slow, he wants to learn more than anything and becomes incredibly skilled at reaching that sweet spot inside of you
adam is the first man, the original dick, and he definitely knows how to use it. he's such a fast learner when it comes to sex-related things, and memorizes everything about you and your body. he wants to know what makes you tick, and everything that pleases you or turns you on
adam is a pretty big guy and he can easily maneuver you into any position you want, he really likes hitting it from the back and loves fucking you from behind. he'd definitely pull your hair, forcing your head back so he could whisper absolute filth in your ear
i really really enjoyed writing this urgrhrgregregeh i love me some adam- im an afab person but im genderqueer/unlabeled and sometimes feel more masculine or more feminine, snd this was very fun to write bc i usually don't get requests for male reader or more masculine reader so yea i really really enjoyed this!!! also happy easter to anyone else who celebrates lmao i can't believe yall r getting smut from me on easter 💀
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kalki-tarot · 6 months
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Your First Date with your Fs! 💌
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Pick only one picture. Kalki tarot is not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from this reading(s). Use your brain and be mindful.
Please Allow me to tap into your energy.
Tap on Masterlist for more.
Pile 01
For some of you this date may be through arranged marriage or some female member from your family will first introduce you to them.
For others I'm getting that you may have 2 options to choose from, and you choose them after a lot of thinking and introspecting. Because i see you really wanting someone long term.
I'm seeing that your fs could be someone very shy and introverted on the first date, they may not really seem that talkative you know? Those people who only talk when nessecary.
This will take place when you are in some really busy or hardworking phase in your life. Maybe you just started a new job or you are a very busy person in general. The first date can be near water, like beach, seas, lakes etc. This can also take place in an amusement park.
Before the date you will be very anxious about what will happen and what not. Very scattered energy and overthinking is coming from your side. But anyhow, you really look forward to it and future of you guys together. If you last long or not? All these thoughts will cover up your mind.
For some of you, I'm also seeing that you may not be able to sleep a day before the date due to excitement, racing hearts and thoughts lol. You really are very anxious about it.
On the other hand, you future spouse too seems to be a little worried. They are someone who were heartbroken in the past, they were too giving in relationships but never received enough. So these thoughts may resurface and they may start to overthink too. They will be curious to know if you are someone genuine and trustworthy or like their old partners.
Okay, let's see how the actual date will be! I'm seeing that your fs may insist to pay even if they have less amount of money, such a gentleman/woman. The feminine (not gender specific) in the connection may take a lead throughout the date as they may have planned it all together.
I'm also seeing you guys talking about your future visions and goals. All the things you desire to do and achieve in your life. You both may have similar goals or interests which will be very interesting. You may also talk about some intellectual topics like politics or Philosophy.
Your chemistry together would be fabulous. Like two puzzle pieces perfectly joining together and making sense. The date will be very nice, so don't worry about it. Just be yourself and show your true self. I'm also seeing you guys will want to have another date too. You both will look forward to meeting each other again. Lovely!
Pile 02
Wow! This date will be a surprise for you. Your fs won't tell u where they are taking you, as it will be a surprise for you. I'm also getting a scenario where you are literally blindfolded and when they show you the place you get very surprised.
Your fs can be a foreigner for some of you. This date will be in a different location or country than you live in currently. The date will be fun and entertaining. Your fs may buy or gift you a small piece of jewellery to keep as a memory.
The masculine will literally dress up their best on the first date ! I'm seeing someone putting on white shirt and perfume. This date can happen at a formal place like a fancy restaurant or bar. They would want to smell and look their best.
I'm also seeing that you guys may drink wine together as I'm seeing them pouring you a glass. They will talk about what you expect from them and whatever they can provide for you in the relationship. They are someone very selfless and giving.
For the feminines, I'm seeing that she was forced to show up on this date by their friend or family member. She is very busy and had to take out time from her schedule. The feminine will really show up in a silky satin dark purple and shiny dress. She will look very sexy and appealing. The masculine will get swayed by her appearance lmao.
About the actual date, I'm seeing love at first sight. You guys will fall for each other and you will be surprised by how great you two match together. You will be amazed by how different your ideologies are but still you guys do great together. You will take this as a sign as they are the one for you.
One thing specifically I'm getting is that please specify and clear your past in front of your fs on the first date itself. Some people may try to ruin things for you. please be careful and don't lie to your fs about anything. They are very understanding and will understand you.
You should also consider to have another date, as I'm seeing confusion for you. Take things slow and steady.
Pile 03
This date will happen after you've got stable in your career and now you wanna explore love in your life. For some I'm also seeing that you will be in your 30s when this date takes place, take whatever resonates. It's never too late for love.
You may consult your friends or even a tarot reader before the date for necessary precautions because Your mind will feel somehow conflicted and underconfident. But your angels will be supporting you.
Wow, for your fs i can see that they really are in love with you and want to propose you for marriage as soon as possible. It's because they love you so much and don't wanna lose this great opportunity.
They will be daydreaming about you and trying to brush up their flirting skills. They really wanna woo you fr.
You guys can meet in a hospital or a court, some strict and structured place is what i can see. Or their/your profession can be lawyer, doctor, teacher, professor etc.
Your first date can be in a zoo, animal shelter, park, or you can try pottery,painting or some hand craft thing on your first date.
This occasion will heal your inner child a lot. You will finally be at peace and feel like home with your person. You'll feel better and lighthearted. You won't even realize how fast the time passes. You will get this feeling on the first date itself that they are your counterpart, the one you're meant to be with. It will feel serendipitous.
I can also see that your fs has both fire and water signs in their chart prominently.
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bellestarot · 3 months
Text
Pick a Pile
How they're Currently Feeling About You?
⇝ Take your time to choose.
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Pile I
Pile I, I feel that you and this person has a shared history. They feel that what you had is now just a memory. They regret not having spoken more, not having expressed what was on their mind at the time, and deeply regret not doing so. They make you doubt whether what they are doing is genuine and if what they are saying is sincere. They might have a history of wanting to have fun, drink, or take out their frustrations in other ways. However, this person wants more with you; they want someone who is true to them, someone to form a family with. For them, it is much more than just sex.
Regardless of what happened, this person still feels very hurt. Despite their strong desire to have you by their side, they respect the feelings they are experiencing. They are trying to navigate these emotions. They want to see you again in any way possible but do not want to approach you directly.
Pile II
Pile II, this person feels like they're on a roller coaster of emotions in relation to you. They don't understand it completely but are certain that they are completely in love with you. You inspire this person to show different sides of themselves and to reveal what they are capable of.
They feel that the two of you form an amazing, unbeatable couple, but at the same time, they want to show you other aspects of themselves.
They want to show that they are intellectual, knowledgeable about many subjects, and also have a romantic side with the intention of one day creating something lasting with you.
However, this person knows that you are strong and not easily swayed by their words, so they feel like they are offering little to you and worry that time is running out, fearing that you will move on and not stay with them.
Pile III
Pile III, this person is heartbroken over what happened and has spent many sleepless nights, unable to figure out what to do. They feel betrayed, as if everything has been lost.
Even though they are not around, this person checks your social media and keeps an eye on what you are doing. They think about you a lot and have wished to meet with you again and return to how things were before.
I see that this person is in a lot of pain right now, but for some reason, they had to leave. They left with love still inside them.
This person loves you deeply and has many genuine feelings for you. They are waiting for the right time to come back, but currently, they are feeling this pain intensely.
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cinnamostar · 10 months
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01: self-fulfilling prophecy 
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part two.
pairing : jisung x gn!reader
summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.
wc : 8.5k
cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.
a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!
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Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 
It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 
“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”
“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”
“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”
“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”
“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”
Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 
Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!
It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 
What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 
He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.
Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?
Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?
He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.
Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.
However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 
People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 
He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.
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For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 
Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.
Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.
He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 
As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.
After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.
“Jisung! You made it!”
The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 
Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”
Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”
Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 
The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.
Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.
“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”
Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”
He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.
He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.
Oh, shit, they’re cute.
Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.
“I- Oh, uhm, I…”
You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.
“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”
“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 
“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 
Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,
“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”
Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.
Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.
You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”
Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-
“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”
Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.
Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 
You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”
Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.
“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”
Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”
“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”
Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”
Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.
“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”
“Are they dating anyone?”
The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.
“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”
“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.
“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 
“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?
Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 
“Say it.”
“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.
“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”
The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,
“Seungmin, stop-”
“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”
Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.
Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.
“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.
Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.
Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 
Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 
Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.
┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 
A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 
Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 
Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 
Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.
Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.
Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.
However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 
He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!
It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 
It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.
Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 
But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.
Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.
It was doomed! 
And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 
If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 
On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 
All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 
Oh, but you were so wrong. 
The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.
“Y/N…”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”
“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”
“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”
“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”
Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.
Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.
“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”
Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”
“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”
This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 
“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”
You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”
Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”
In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.
“I think Y/N likes him.”
Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 
Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”
“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.
“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”
Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”
The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”
Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”
Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.
“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.
Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”
┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 
Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 
You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.
Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 
You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.
If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.
Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 
Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 
You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”
Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”
“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”
“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”
“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”
Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”
“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.
“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”
You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”
He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”
You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”
Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”
“Especially you.” 
┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 
It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.
To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 
After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.
Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.
He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.
He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.
Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.
All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 
As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 
He just couldn’t be your love.
God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-
“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”
Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.
Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 
“I… I’m sorry, I just-”
You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”
You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”
Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.
“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”
There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 
Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.
Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.
406 notes · View notes
soracities · 5 months
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How to stop fearing love? When i think about me falling for someone it's always here with the shadow of grief and loss what if i loved so much that it might end and hurt more? I experienced grief and since then i fear losing anyone i love even tho i know no one can run away from death but it's not only death what if there is no place for me in the heart of those i adore? I never allowed myself to confess or be honest about my feelings for someone i love, i keep it as an idea i keep just daydreaming about it.
Love that you allow only to breathe as a fantasy, that you keep as a daydream to get lost in, that you put in a glass jar on the highest shelf for fear of what might happen if it's too close cannot--no matter how much you may hope for it, and no matter how much the love itself aspires to it--become Love. You can't hold love on a leash and expect it to grow; grief and loss are your entry tickets because for your love to be real it has to be honest. And honest love is a confrontation with the fact that it may not last. Love that is only there under a precondition cannot ever be free, and something that cannot exist freely cannot exist honestly. And what's a love worth--any kind of love--that isn't honest?
We hope that the people we love value us and care for us. We hope that they do so as much as we care for and value them. But I think the spectre of loss, terrifying as it is, does not necessarily have to become a noose around your neck: the difference between being confronted with sudden hurt and closing yourself away is that at least the hurt is real--it came from a real choice that you made, to be awake and present in the world with another person. The alternative is spending your whole life wondering "what if?": right now, it's what if I get hurt? But eventually, as time goes on, it becomes what if I'd been braver? What if I'd taken a leap? What if I'd tried with xyz? What would my life look like if I had? The difference between these, and get your heartbroken, is that heartbreak will, one day, find a place in your life, and you will be able to move on. Regret, however, has a far, far longer shelf life; it's almost impossibly to move on from a question you will never get an answer to.
All your fears and worries, anon, are natural and I think everyon has them, at some point or another. But when you lead your life with this fear--"What if there is no place for me in the heart of those i adore?"-- you're already guaranteeing that there can be no place because you are not allowing yourself the freedom to find that place. It's like saying "what if I never see the ocean?" but avoiding every trip to the beach that comes your way. And not only are you depriving yourself of genuine loving connections with other people, you're depriving them of the opportunity to give you those connections too (and hence your fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy).
I think at the end of the day, fear of love ending, fear of the hurt that follows, fear of what will happen to us as a result of that hurt is not down to whether or not you can trust that the love will last or fear of love at all to begin with; I think it's down to whether or not you trust yourself to be okay if it doesn't. And I think the prospect of falling in love, and then falling out of it, becomes far less terrifying when you look at it from that point of view. It's not can I trust you not to hurt me? It's can I trust myself to still love me if you do? Can I trust myself to still believe I deserve love and good things, even if you do? Can I trust myself to be okay for myself?
Because ultimately, it's not about other people having a place for you or not, it's not about knowing in advance that someone will never hurt you--you can't predict this about anyone, about any situation. But what you can rely on, what you can control is however you respond to it. Love is a dialogue, I think--it's a collaborative mode of being: there are two (or more) people in it working in tandem on something, towards something, but you don't cease to be two individuals in that process either. You still stand if the other isn't there: you must simply learn to navigate the space they leave behind and fill it up differently. You said you experienced grief once already--my question is: have you honoured that grief? More importantly, have you honoured the love that this grief came from and that you lost? Do you believe that you're honouring the importance & your memory of that love in your life by closing yourself off from the opportunity to ever experience it again, in different forms?
I think Vuong said somewhere that grief is the final translation of love and I believe that's true--but I also believe it does this love a profound disservice to measure it, value it, form a legacy from it purely from that grief alone. The love was there. Then grief came, yes. But the love was there. All hurt, all grief, all shattering sense of loss is a testament to the enormity of that love to begin with. It hurts as much as its worth, as they say. The grief isn't a punishment; it's to remind you of that worth. And the lesson from that grief, if we decide it's better to not open ourselves up to love and connection again, is, in my view at least, a diminishing of that worth.
I used to do rollerblading and ice skating, and possibly the only useful thing I can say on this is that fearing love is a lot like learning to balance on skates: you cannot go anywhere on those things as long as you are utterly petrified of falling to the ground. And you will keep being petrified until you do fall--but after that, you learn: you learn how to fall, and get back up, and you learn that the fall itself and what comes after is not nearly as terrifying or impossible as the anticipation of pain and inching along in terror for the rest of your life because of it. A few falls in, you slowly learn to trust yourself. There's no harrowing what if? anymore because you have something now you can work with (the fall hurts and it sucks and it is embarrassing but you're here, still) and use and learn from and become a braver version of yourself.
I don't know if any of this helps you, anon, but I sincerely hope it does and I'm sending you all my love through this 🤍
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onlyjaeyun · 1 year
Text
𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲
࿏ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
࿏ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭!𝐀𝐔 (𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫), 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐬/𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔; 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, (𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞) 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭
࿏ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.5k
࿏ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫...
← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →
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Once you get your manager's okay, you quickly retreat to the back of the shop to get yourself changed and sneak out of the back door in hopes of the oldest Sim brother not even noticing your absence.
For a moment you feel your heart pounding in your throat from how anxious and nervous you are; the thought of having to face the man who you've been warned about definitely playing with your nerves and you can't help but imagine the worst.
You definitely regret only telling Heeseung about it, yet you're still convinced keeping it from Jaeyun for now is the best way to go with it. He's been dealing with this for the past two weeks and has finally felt calm enough to spend some time outside of his apartment, you definitely aren't going to ruin this for him.
Of course you thought about the possibility of his brother following you, yet you still hope he just drops it and leaves once you're on your way.
However, destiny doesn't really tend to be on your side in cases like this, which is why the first person you run into as soon as you walk through the back door happens to be none other than Sim Chan.
"Hello", he calmly begins and intentionally ignores your loud gasp and facial expression of surprise and shock.
Your first instinct is to just keep walking.
You don't know him, you don't owe him anything, not even the words of a greeting.
Yet, you seem to underestimate his persistence.
"Please, just a single minute", Chan suddenly says and takes off his baseball hat, reveals dark blonde hair and turns into the reason you start noticing the family resemblance to the other Sim boys.
The big, round eyes full of emotion, his slightly bigger yet straight nose and every single one of his sharp features.
You gulp harshly as the guilt takes over you, yet for some reason you can't seem to make yourself go away.
And as all those stories, the ones Jake, Sunoo and Heeseung have told you about him, the heartbreak the older brother has made his younger one go through and all the resentment in the young parent's voice whenever he talked about him comes to your mind, you take a deep breath and straighten yourself.
"Look", you sigh and run a hand through your hair, your phone vibrating in your pocket as you try your best to maintain the eye contact, "talking to you and hearing you out is not my place, in absolutely no universe. Please, don't bring me into this. Jae and Yunie mean a lot to me, I can't risk losing them."
Your words are honest and genuine, and from the way Chan starts nodding in defeat, you can tell he's actually understood just how serious you are about this.
"Yeah, that's what I thought", he replies calmly and lets out a deep sigh.
"Please, leave them alone", you whisper and try to swallow the knot in your throat at the images of a heartbroken Jake filling your mind and despite the sudden rage rushing through your body, you remain as calm as possible.
"Or at least give them time. Jaeyun hasn't healed from your betrayal yet because he hasn't had the time to actually cope with it. All these years he had to be strong and calm for Seyun , so please", you take a step back and let your eyes meet his for one last time.
"I'm sorry for following you like this", Chan mumbles and takes a deep breath, "I guess I really am desperate. This won't happen again and please don't tell Jakey about this."
"That's not going to happen", you reply quickly, the mere thought of betraying the man you've been losing your heart to sending chills down your arms, "I'm going to tell him about this because I actually owe him a lot more than I do you. Have a good day."
You don't wait for his response before you quickly make your way to the other side of the street and jump into the next taxi despite your destination only being a ten minute walk away.
As soon as you come to sit down and tell the driver where to go, you let out a loud sigh and reach for your phone, your heart skipping a beat as soon as you see Jake's name on your display.
Just as you're about to call him back, your phone starts ringing again and at the sight of the two Sim brothers on your phone, you can't help but feel your breath hitch in your throat from the actual adrenaline rush you just went through.
"Hey", you say and try to calm down the rapid beating of your heart to hide the nervousness from the young parent, knowing he'll catch up on your shift in emotional state rather quickly.
"Hey, pretty girl", Jake replies and you can literally hear the smile on his face, his voice almost instantly putting your soul at ease and you can't help but sigh again.
"I'm on my way to you guys!" You try your very best to sound as enthusiastic as you are but a million thoughts are rushing through your mind and you've never struggled to distract yourself from them as much ss in that particular moment.
"We know", Jaeyun chuckles and fills your chest with warmth, "and we're really excited. But why didn't you wait for us? You worked so hard today, didn't want you to make things even more exhausting for you."
His gentle and thoughtful choice of words makes you push your lips into a pout and the urge to just fall asleep in his arms slowly becomes absolutely unbearable.
"It's okay, my manager let me go a little earlier and this shift wasn't as bad as usual", you explain and start looking around for the group of boys as soon as the car starts driving along the beginning of the park, "and I took a taxi so no walking for me."
"Oh? Is that you then! At your left!" His sudden exclaim of excitement fills your ears and with wide eyes you try to follow his directions and just as expected you quickly spot a smiley Jaeyun making his way to you.
You start chuckling and tell the taxi driver to stop before you hand him the money and get out of the car once you've said your goodbyes and thank yous.
You start waving at the boys behind Jake's figure, your excitement growing as soon as your eyes fall to the tiniest of them and finally you feel yourself letting go of what happened just a few minutes prior.
However, it's probably also because of the way Jaeyun is quick to reach for your hand and pull you into a tight hug, his strong arms embracing your body almost instantly and the feeling of absolute security surrounds you just as fast.
You don't say anything as you bury your face in his neck snd return the tight hug, holding onto him a little longer and quickly stopping him from letting you go.
"Is everything okay, pretty girl?", Jake says and you hear the worry wavering in his voice, overshadowing the excitement easily.
You just nod and don't feel bad or ashamed for taking your time with the hug because it's exactly what you need and as if Jaeyun knew, he just sighs and gently caresses your back with his big hands.
After what feels like an eternity you pull away and look at him with soft eyes, his naturally excited gaze roaming your face attentively and before Jake gets the actual chance to analyse your facial expressions, you take his face into your hands and pull him into a gentle yet passionate kiss.
Despite his intial shock, Jake quickly reciprocates and pulls you even closer to his body, eliciting a soft gasp from your throat and you love how you can actually feel his cool skin slowly heating up underneath your fingertips.
You lose yourself in the feeling of his lips meeting yours, the way he sighs and even grunts into your mouth as well as his taste slowly coating your tongue and yet again leaving you completely lightheaded.
Jake lets out another loud sigh before he pulls away and lets his lips find your forehead, mostly to hide his flushed cheeks but also because he has to calm himself down.
"Wow", he chuckles and looks at you with slightly hooded eyes, nervously pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and kissing your forehead again before he comes to stand next to you.
"You're going to drive me crazy." His words make you laugh, which instantly dies down as soon as you're met with the sight of all five boys standing in a line just staring at the two of you with wide eyes, except for Yunie.
Little guy's just excited to finally spend some time with you after staying at his gran's most of the week to be with his cousins and you're more than just grateful when he starts running towards you.
"Hey, handsome!" You laugh and get on your knees with widened arms to quickly pull him into a tight hug.
"If anyone makes a comment I will shave your eyebrows off and wax your leg hairs when you're asleep", you press through gritted teeth to make it sound like you're joking, yet from the way you're actually glaring at them, the boys know to keep quiet. At least for now.
"Do you wanna play soccer with us, Noona? You can be on my and Jay Hyung's team!"
And who are you to deny a request as sweet as this one, so all you do is nod and take your bag off to place it on the little blanket the boys had brought along before you finally let your gaze shift to the older brother, who's still busy getting over what just happened.
"Let's go, losers", you say and make a run for the ball, your words finally gain the attention of them all and before any of them can even crack another shit eating grin, you and Seyun run towards the goal and unofficially start the next round.
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Taglist: @writingmochi @raikea10 @moonlighthoon @ajayke-reads @bldelaine @rikisly @enhaz1 @ineedsomezzz @ikeu4life @theskzvibe @kpoprhia @jayzdaze @a-l-i-y-a @catnoirsbitch05 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @end0rchans @ddazed-lhs @sunflowerbebe07 @heeverseblog @voidbeomgyu @heerinnie @vanillabeanwaffle @mimikittysblog @l0vee-l3tters @teawithbucky @fluerz @spilled-coffee-cup @3amstarlight @jungwon-xo @smg-valeria @elicheel @bobariki @beomgyusonlywife @sumarchived @aeminju @sprngfeverr @tya0
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thehighladywrites · 11 months
Text
Beneath their smiles
ft. Rhysand
SUMMARY: You find out your friends used you for status, leaving you heartbroken. Rhysand is here for you<3
warnings: swearing, hurt, comfort,fluff, shitty friends, nice revenge.
A/N: Kind of a personal one for me, I used to have shitty friends like this so this was really satisfying to write😋
banners: @cafekitsune
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There was nothing in the world that Rhys hated more than seeing you upset.
What could have possibly made his sweet darling this upset? You were sitting in his lap, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He had one hand supporting your back while the other was drawing soothing circles. You were crying your eyes out, hiccuping, not even managing to talk properly between sobs when he asked what had happened to you.
You sat there for hours, listening to him whisper calming words of love and support. Finally, you looked up to him and the sight broke his heart.
After your crying session, your eyes were bloodshot, puffy, and swollen. Dried tear streaks ran down your face, making you look utterly drained, vulnerable, and sad. His protective instincts upon seeing his mate in such a vulnerable state were going crazy. It made him start making plans to confront whatever or whoever had made his mate cry so much. But Rhysand didn’t push you to speak if you weren’t ready. He knew you’d tell them whenever you were.
You took a steadying breath and spilled everything that had happened before your eyes started to blur again.
"Rhysie, I had the most horrible day ever. My friends completely cut me off for no good reason. They all made secret plans to catch up, and I saw them in front of me, laughing and huddled together. I so so badly wanted to go up to them, but when I got closer, I overheard them say that they weren't going to include me in their plans. They also whispered that I was a burden to you, and that a low-born nobody like me was only useful when getting invited to balls and parties – that our friendship was just a charade for their own amusement. They'd pretended to be my friends, but in reality, I was nothing more than a pawn in their game of social climbing. So, it turns out they were never truly friends; they were just using me for access to the stupid parties they craved. I feel so foolish,Rhys. They always chattered about parties and festivals, but I thought they enjoyed my company. “
He kissed your temple and let you silently cry on his shoulder again. He masked any anger he had, because it wasn’t about his revenge now, it was about comforting you.
“Oh, my sweet darling, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You deserve real friends who appreciate you for who you are, not just for the parties you can provide. You’re such a kind and wonderful person, and this experience with those vermins doesn’t define your worth at all. We’ll get through this together, my love. I promise you’ll find new, genuine friends who will value you for the amazing person you are, and who will see your kind heart and genuine soul. Remember that I’m always here for you, and I love you so much, okay? If you want to, we can banish them.”
You give him a tired smile and let out a sigh of comfort at the feel of love he sends through the bond. He gives you a sweet, loving kiss as he carries you to bed, tucking you to lay with one arm on his chest as you tucked your face in the crook of his neck. He had an arm protectively slung around your waist, keeping you as close as possible.
” Thanks Rhysie, m’so happy to have you forever. I love you s’much. But that’s not necessary, I have something better in mind. “
“ Of course darling, I love you too, can’t wait to hear about this diabolical plan my baby has planned. “
You let out a genuine laugh, and he gives you a last kiss before he pulls you closer. He runs his hands through your hair, as he always does whenever you’re upset, lulling you to a comforting sleep.
- - -
The night was beautiful, millions of starts decorated the dark sky, and the music filled the air. You and Rhysand were hosting an exquisite starfall party in your home. It was a celebration that enhanced the beauty of Velaris. A perfect night for some payback.
As the guests were flown up to The House of Wind, elegant guests in shimmering attire began to mingle with eachother. Among them was all of your friends and family from other courts, like Helion, Kallias and Vivienne, Thesan, Tarquin and so many more joined to celebrate.
Suddenly, at the edge of the entrance, your oblivious friends huddled together ready to dance the night away. Their faces masked with false smiles and ill intentions. They attempted to join the festivities, whispering and snickering, oblivious to the icy glares they received from your inner circle who knew of their betrayal.
However, the sentries, loyal to Rhysand, stood firm. As your friends approached, the guards blocked their path, not allowing them a step further.
"Sorry, but you can't enter," Declan, one of the sentries declared, his voice carrying authority.
Your friends exchanged bewildered glances, their arrogance suddenly shattered by reality. They had always been invites to the High Lords party, what the hell was going on?
"What do you mean?" one of them demanded, her voice tinged with false innocence. "We were invited."
The sentry raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. " We have specific orders to not let you in. In fact if you don’t move, I’ll throw all of you in a holding cell for the night. Move along. ”
Seeing the High Lord's sentinel not wavering their stance, the mean friends grew flustered. They attempted to argue, to demand, to manipulate. But Velaris, under the rule of Rhysand, had no place for those who betrayed and used others for personal gain. Especially not his perfect mate. No, they weren’t ever going to hurt you again.
” I think there has been a mistake. Do you know how we are? We’re friends with the Lady of night, and we’re always invited. So let us speak to Y/N she’ll know who we are. ”
Tired of seeing their pathetic attempts, you drag Rhysand over to them to resolve the situation. But before you can say anything, Rhysand speaks up as he looks at them with disgust and wrath.
"Your actions towards my mate and your Lady are disgraceful. It's clear you've treated her with cruelty and deceit. You've shown a complete lack of respect and compassion. In my city, I value loyalty and kindness, qualities you so clearly lack. Know that I won't tolerate any more harm coming her way, because if any of harrass my mate again, I’ll see to it that it’s the last thing you do.
You’ve been asked to leave once, and you won’t be asked again. This is a night of celebration and unity, not a place for your pathetic attempt at deception. Your presence here is unwelcome, and I will not tolerate any disruption. It’s in your best interest to leave now, before Declan makes good on his word. ”
You look to him with a small smile and say into his mind,
” Thank you honey, I don’t know if I would’ve had the strenght to say all that. I love you so much. ”
” I love you too, but don’t thank me darling, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. ”
Defeated and stunned your now former friends were left with no choice but to retreat, their faces flushed with embarrassment and anger as they slinked away from the entrance, watched by the crowd.
Observing the whole scene you both couldn't help but smile as he tightened his hold on you. He had protected his mate and ensured that the party remained a celebration of true friendships, leaving no room for something other than that.
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yandere-3-sagau · 2 years
Text
Yandere!SAGAU x Descended God!Reader Drabble
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
word count: 441
warning(s): genshin cult au, angst, yandere, mentions of blood and murder
__
After the destruction of the first seal, the creator has regained some of their divine powers. Nothing too much but powerful enough to escape the archons.
They become a nomad, traveling through Teyvat and never sticking to one place for too long. Changing clothes depending on the nation and wearing face coverings, the creator is able to successfully hide their identity.
As they travel, creator ends up helping someone. The two become close and creator finds themselves staying in one particular area longer than usual.
The time they spend with them becomes their light in dark days. The person shows creator the beauty of the world they began to fear.
Their pure and genuine presence makes them feel hope. Creator asks them to accompany them on their travels but the person refuses, choosing to stay to take care of their ill father.
Although it’s risky, creator decides to stay and help them take care of their father.
Creator’s biggest mistake yet.
The acolytes find them. While they’re out retrieving medicine, the acolytes, blinded with rage, slaughter creator’s lover and their father.
What makes them special?
Who are they to be the one to receive the mortal creator’s love?
It just isn’t fair.
Creator returns to the wooden walls of their shared home covered in blood. The stench of iron so strong, they can’t help but cover their nose.
Entering deeper, they see an acolyte standing above the slumped form of their lover. Rushing over, they bring them into their arms.
As their lover releases their last breath, they feel something shatter inside.
Storm clouds suddenly roll in on a sunny day and their eyes begin to glow. The shine is dim at first but becomes brighter as the warmth leaves the body laying within their arms. Ground rumbling, the creator cries out in anguish and heartbreak.
Another seal is breaking.
The acolytes can feel their heart drop at the familiar situation. Their attitudes do a complete 180, trying to appease creator in anyway. They’re on their knees, begging for forgiveness. For creator to calm down in hopes of stopping the cracking seal.
Some even begin crying. Part of them torn apart by the fact that creator is one step closer to leaving them and the other heartbroken that creator loved another to the point of breaking a seal at their passing.
The acolyte’s pitiful forms do nothing to ease creator’s sorrow when the blood of their loved ones is splattered on their faces and clothing.
One more burst of their energy is released and then everything goes silent.
Only when creator stands before them with cold, empty eyes do the acolytes realize what they’ve done.
The second seal has broken and creator has not only gained more power but memories as well.
__
(how many seals should their be?)
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xileonaaaa · 4 months
Note
HAIIIIII :3 ‼️ could you write some hcs abt ino takuma x f!reader :D plsss ??
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that’d be much appreciated, ty <3
Aweeee I love the pic so much. 💕 (I got carried away, but I hope you enjoy.)
Thinking of Ino who meets you during a trip to Nanami’s favorite bakery…
✦•┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑ ┈┈┈┈•✦
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──★ ˙
Ino!Takuma who’s the type of guy who swears up and down that he’ll never get into a relationship because how stressful it seems. (He watched too many of those depressing, heartbroken Instagram reels.)
Ino!Takuma whose the type of guy that genuinely appreciates all forms of beauty, he isn’t picky at all. If a person happens to look good, he isn’t afraid to walk up to them, and compliment them.
Ino!Takuma who literally felt like a totally different person when he noticed your presence. The over confident, and usually social guy actually found himself shying away from the bakery’s main window as he caught a glimpse of you peering in at the pastries from the outside. (You were beyond gorgeous, and he couldn’t help but gawk at the sight of your curious form gazing around the transparent glass.)
Ino!Takuma who quickly looked away when he met your gaze for the first time, his face radiating with heat as he shoved his beanie down over his forehead, and fumbled for his phone to use as a distraction.
Ino!Takuma who found himself desperately wanting to sink back into his own skin the moment he heard the door chime jingle as it opened.
Ino!Takuma who watched you peer around at the different pastries on display, obviously wanting to get a closer look at the ones you couldn’t see very well from outside.
Ino!Takuma who didn’t even hear the poor baker that was working the register, call his name saying that Nanami’s order was ready for pickup. (She had to say ‘Excuse me sir’ like four times.)
Ino!Takuma who quickly tore his eyes away from you once he realized that the lady was calling for him. He apologized profusely, and couldn’t help but chuckle and rub at his nape, as the woman gave him an all knowing smile.
Ino!Takuma who dismissed the unspoken accusations, just telling her that he only thought you were pretty, but didn’t want to bother you.
Ino!Takuma who waved the clerk a polite goodbye, before hastily turning around and running straight into you.
Ino!Takuma who was obviously stunned at the sudden interaction, but thankfully didn’t freeze, and was able to catch you in time with one arm before you fell.
Ino!Takuma who helped you gain your balance before hastily apologizing, and asking if you were okay. He was shocked the first time he ever heard your voice, all light hearted as you let a small laugh escape your lips. (He thought you were gonna curse at him to watch where he was going or something. Why? He doesn’t even know himself.)
Ino!Takuma who shared a laugh with you, as you murmured something about how his move to save you from falling mimicked something straight out of a Disney movie.
Ino!Takuma who felt a little bummed when your interaction was cut short by a phone call from Nanami asking where he was, and what was taking him so long.
Ino!Takuma who gave you a nervous smile, before waving goodbye, and darting out of that small bakery. (He knows it was a wuss move to use Nanami’s call as an excuse to get away, but what could he do? He wasn’t feeling like his normal, chill self, instead he felt all nervous, and anxious. How strange.)
Ino!Takuma who spent the entire week thinking about the pretty girl he’d met at the small bakery that Nanami usually frequented. He’d been thinking about going back there for the longest, but he felt like he never really had a proper excuse to. (Nanami was back on schedule, so he didn’t need Ino to pick up his lunch for him.)
Ino!Takuma who mustered up the courage to drop by the bakery without an order from Nanami to pick up. It’d been two weeks since he’d last been there, and when he walked in, he was surprised to see you nestled up by a front window, typing away at your computer.
Ino!Takuma who’d spent the better half of an hour in his car, hyping himself up, and running through possible conversation dialogues, found himself at a complete, and utterly loss after he’d told the clerk that he wasn’t here to pick up Nanami’s usual.
Ino!Takuma who nearly leapt out of his skin when he heard your smooth, tired voice echo from behind him, as he saw your hand scoot your empty coffee cup towards the clerk.
Ino!Takuma who stole a glance at you, as you waited for your refill. He wondered if you still remembered him, just as vividly as he remembered you. (He got his answer when you teased him about not bumping into you again, because this time you had coffee.)
Ino!Takuma who stuttered for the very first time since 2nd grade, as he quietly asked for a recommendation from you.
Ino!Takuma who turned to face you, as he observed your facial expressions while you pondered. (You spilled out a few pastries that were your personal favorites, and he repeated everything to the clerk, claiming that he wanted to try them all to broaden his palate.)
Ino!Takuma who found that conversing with you wasn’t as hard as it seemed, and you even invited him back to sit at your table. (He was so nervous, but he agreed, and the two of you talked for hours, all while he tried out the pastries you’d recommended to him. The conversation ranging from Anime, to your job, and other interests.)
Ino!Takuma who walked you out to your car when it was time for you to go. (He really didn’t want to part ways, and you somehow caught on to his dejected aura. After bidding you a goodnight, he turned to walk away, but you called out to him, and told him that you were always in this bakery, and if he stopped by, maybe the two of you could hang out like this again. He agreed almost immediately.)
Ino!Takuma who took you up on your offer, and visited that bakery every single day, just to talk to you. (The more he conversed with you, the more open, and overall relaxed he became.)
Ino!Takuma who established a good relationship with you, even going so far as to calling you his “bakery buddy”.
Ino!Takuma who happened to walk into the small bakery a bit earlier than he usually did, one particular morning, and caught sight of some guy and his friends trying to get your number.
Ino!Takuma whose initial reaction was to freeze by the door, and just watch the whole thing go down, found himself feeling a bit nervous. (Not because of the guys of course, he was just worried that you’d actually take them up on their offer to exchange contacts. After all, they were good looking, all of them had on stuff that was more expensive than the custom rims he liked to buy for his car. They literally outclassed him in every possible way.)
Ino!Takuma who released the biggest sigh of relief when he heard you politely turn them down, and return your focus back to your computer. (He’d never seen you act so coldly, and he wondered if you despised those types of stuck up guys.)
Ino!Takuma who felt his eye twitch in anger as he heard one of them murmur a slur under his breath, and another call you a bitch.
Ino!Takuma who had to hold his own self back as he nearly swung a punch towards one of the guys who was talking the most smack. He had to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t exactly his place to do that. (He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, so all he could afford to do was stare them down as they squeezed past him to leave out the bakery door with a look that could kill.
Ino!Takuma who followed them with his eyes until they were completely out of sight, before deciding to finally walk up to the counter to order his usual. (He was so pissed, he didn’t even notice that you were watching him. It was only when he got his chocolate filled croissant and a cup of coffee, that he finally turned around, and saw you gawking at him.)
Ino!Takuma whose demeanor immediately switched as he flashed you a nervous grin before walking over to your usual table. Your eyes never left him, and Ino could feel little bits of perspiration dripping down his back. (He didn’t have to be a genius to know that you’d seen his whole mood switch just seconds ago.)
Ino!Takuma who kept telling himself to let his angered and annoyed feelings go, but just couldn’t.
Ino!Takuma who, as much as he wanted to enjoy your teasing about his strange behavior, he found that the more the conversation dragged on about those guys, the angrier he got by the second.
Ino!Takuma who felt his initial anger completely melt into that of pure shock when he heard what you asked him next. (“If you’re so angry about those guys hitting on me, why not do something about it? Yknow, to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”)
Ino!Takuma who literally stared at you like his brain short-circuited or something. (It literally did.)
Ino!Takuma who stuttered for the second time since 2nd grade, horribly stumbling over his words as he tried his best to ask you out on a date. (You chuckled at his flustered state, and happily said yes.)
Ino!Takuma who couldn’t help but dwell in his own embarrassment the moment he got back to his car, dragging his beanie down over his eyes, and groaning into his hands. (He’d made sure to walk you to your car, and nearly sprinted away the moment you said goodnight. He didn’t understand how you were able to keep your cool so well. Why was he the one always left so flustered after every interaction. Everything you did just seemed so effortless to him.)
Ino!Takuma who had to give himself a pep talk the next day to even be able to get out his car. (He’d been sitting there in the bakery’s parking lot for the past 20 minutes, trying to work up the confidence to talk to you again. He’d embarrassed himself so badly yesterday.)
Ino!Takuma who finally entered through the bakery’s doors, to find you already looking over at him. (He was so tempted to turn around and leave, because damn you were so pretty.)
Ino!Takuma who didn’t even bother going up to the register to order his usual. Instead, he bidded you a good morning, before plopping down in his usual seat. Unlike what he was so worried about, conversation between the two of you sparked up almost immediately, and he completely forgot about his initial embarrassment.
Ino!Takuma who spent the entire day with you in that bakery, just like he always did. Admiring you, as you talked a little bit about anything and everything.
Ino!Takuma who walked you to your car like always, but stopped you when you were about to get in.
Ino!Takuma who whipped out his phone, and timidly asked for your number. (As you were typing it in, he just would not shut up about why he needed your number. Rambling on and on, about the most random things, until you handed his phone back, pressing it into his chest.)
Ino!Takuma who shut up immediately, before bidding you goodnight, and walking off in the direction of his car. (What you couldn’t see was the enormous blush that spread all the way to the tips of his ears.)
Ino!Takuma who texted you first, telling you who he was. (He forgot you saved his number.)
Ino!Takuma who set up a date with you, not once mentioning where the two of you were going. (He sucked at planning, and had to ask Nanami to help him.)
Ino!Takuma who anxiously awaited the day of your scheduled meeting time, pulling up to your place almost a whole hour early.
Ino!Takuma who nearly gawked at your outfit, when you finally emerged from your front door.
Ino!Takuma who jumped out of the drivers seat, to jog over to open the passenger door for you.
Ino!Takuma whose first date was the skating rink. (He was a pro at skating, and even though you sucked pure ass, he was always by your side, effortlessly picking you up, and making sure that you never once fell, not hard at least.)
Ino!Takuma who then took you out to eat some delicious food. (He was not one for fancy restaurants, as unlike Nanami, he loved greasy food.)
Ino!Takuma who then took you out to one of his favorite spots on the beach, so you could relax your sore feet in the warm, wet sand.
Ino!Takuma who was elated when you said yes to another date, and immediately got to work on planning another outing with you.
Ino!Takuma who was always a joy, and a breath of fresh air to be with. He wasn’t all uptight, and sophisticated, nor was he a lazy bum. He was perfect, and it wasn’t very surprising when you didn’t even let him finish his sentence when he asked you be his girlfriend.
Ino!Takuma who then started driving over to your place to hang out, bringing along your usual coffee and pastries from the bakery with him.
Ino!Takuma who’s favorite pastime was bickering with you about who was the strongest anime character in history, and who could beat who in a fight with no powers.
Ino!Takuma who’d call you whenever he missed you, always telling you that he loved you. (He literally sounds like beast boy from teen titans whenever you answer. Always saying, “Hey Mama!” The moment he hears your beautiful voice.)
Ino!Takuma who’s a complete softie, and unlike how he was before the two of you started dating, he’s very direct about how he feels.)
Ino!Takuma who really loves you with everything he’s got, and has completely changed his view on relationships.
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Genuinely, though, after Ed returned to the ship in s1e9 with his heart broken...he was handling the breakup EXTREMELY well.
We know Stede is the first person Ed's ever loved, and also the first person who is his confidante, who he feels understood by. Ed also has no idea what went wrong. He was probably replaying that last day over and over in his head, trying to spot the moment things went wrong - Stede kissed him back, Stede seemed to share his feelings, Stede agreed to run away with him...Ed must feel so confused and hurt. This is an extreme setup, as far as breakups go, where Ed can only really blame himself, assume there's something wrong with him to make Stede leave him.
But he's, like, doing pretty damn well. He's finding ways to comfort himself and express his feelings in a healthy way. If the worst any of us can say about a bad breakup is it made us write melodramatic poetry? That's pretty good. Ed's behavior in this stage is never irrational or over-the-top in the slightest.
It would've been so easy to show us Ed's kraken spiral being triggered by Stede leaving him, and that would've almost made sense, too. But we're shown so clearly that that wasn't the trigger. Now, yeah, Izzy threatening him wouldn't have hit as hard without this heartbreak! But we're shown so clearly that had nothing else happened, Ed would've been okay. He was well on his way to okay.
It's really a testiment to what a naturally gentle, thoughtful, sensitive person Ed is. He's heartbroken, but he chooses to explore his feelings through art and connection with others. He finds ways to comfort himself, like with soft robes and eating food that reminds him of Stede, and as he starts to feel better he has a strong self-initiative to clean up his space and cheerfully interact with others. He was feeling better and wanting to continue feeling better.
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