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kitkatopinions · 4 years ago

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Can we talk about the rampant bi/panphobia surrounding Yang "looks at guys like they're fresh meat in the first 3 volumes and chibi" Xiao Long? Blake's gets brought up a lot as 90% of her reason for existing is to be the romancable NPC, but it's hardly talked about with Yang. She has shown express interest in guys. Even if Bees goes canon, it's not a Bi/Lesbian ship. It's a Bi/Bi or Bi/Pan ship or what ever other possible identity that doesn't erase Yang's attraction to men. I get the whole wanting rep thing but there's more lesbians in RWBY than any other LGBT identity and they aren't really that good in terms of representation. Do we really need another angry/aggressive/problematic lesbian in RWBY? And whenever it does get brought up, Lesbian!Yang fans always go "oh, it's just comphet". Um, excuse me? Isn't comphet not supposed to be a thing in Remnant?

Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here, and I do get why you're so frustrated because as a bi person, it gets so frustrating dealing with not only a huge lack of representation, but also feeling boxed out of, undervalued by, and invalidated by your own community sometimes. I myself have been really frustrated and even hurt by the way many RWBY fans (and specifically Bumblebee fans) have talked about Blake and Yang's sexuality, like they would be less gay or less rep if they were bi, how shipping them with men is 'wrong' because it's 'straight behavior' and 'validating the straights,' and I got particularly annoyed once by a post that claimed that people only shipped Yang and Weiss so that they could force Blake - who they claimed was a canon lesbian - into a relationship with a man. I think it's clear why people talk about Blake's status as bi more than Yang's - Yang has one moment in eight seasons where she acts clearly attracted to men, whereas Blake has had two canon romantic relationships with men, Adam being her ex and her having gone on a date with and kissed Sun on the cheek. When people dispute Blake's status as a bi, sometimes they (rightly) come at it from the point of view of 'this is just my own personal headcanon for my own benefit.' But too often, Blake's attraction to men is dismissed outright and fans try and find every excuse to invalidate it so that they can insist that Blake is a canon lesbian. That's pretty openly biphobic imo. (Also I don't agree that 90% of Blake's character is a romancable NPC. I think maybe she's become mostly not an active character who only really exists as support and romance, but the idea that it's 90% of her overall show character is weird to me, Blake is done dirty by the show but that doesn't mean she's not a character for the first five seasons.)

But Yang is also worth talking about. Because of the fact that her moment of displaying clear attraction towards men is brief and early in the show, many fans have just... Thrown it out entirely, and decided that not only does it not count, but that anyone who brings it up is living in the past and is stupid for paying attention to the early seasons. That's obviously really dumb. The idea that after the first five seasons, Yang is displaying clear romantic attraction towards a girl for the first time, she is now one hundred percent a lesbian in canon because she's only displayed romantic attraction towards men once... That's also rooted in biphobia. Being attracted to men doesn't just suddenly go away because you're attracted to women and vice versa, no one chooses to be bi, gay, straight, ace, whatever. If Yang was sexually attracted towards men at seventeen, that part of her doesn't stop existing just because she's sexually attracted to women too. The thing is, headcanoning Yang (or even Blake!) as a lesbian is totally fine. I think the RWBY creators did say that sexism, racism, and homophobia doesn't exist in Remnant, but like ??? Idk why they'd decide something like that if they were gonna make jokes about Jaune and Qrow wearing skirts haha laugh at the non-gender-conformity of men, and if they'd write the first five seasons with literally one gay character, while tons of straight relationships that get credence, everyone else expresses no clear romantic inclination towards the same sex for five years of the show running. And we're supposed to think there's no heteronormativity at least? Cardin and Jaune both have clear toxic masculinity problems that Jaune grows out of, but we're supposed to think that toxic masculinity has nothing to do with any sexism or homophobia, however internalized? I think if people want their fans to believe there is not sexism or homophobia or racism in their fake world, they need to make good and sure their own internalized issues don't leak into their work. So I don't think it's wholly invalid when people decide that in their headcanon, they think Yang just acted like she was attracted to men because she thought she should. I especially think it's valid for people to headcanon that Yang had acted like she attracted to men because she thought she was. She was only seventeen, seventeen year olds put on behavior that they think is cool and she is the niece of Qrow 'wink at Winter to piss her off' Branwen, and Yang could've realized maybe during school that putting on behavior was all that was, and that she isn't actually attracted towards men and likes girls - specifically the girl dancing with Sun at the school ball. That's perfectly valid as a headcanon. But that's all it is, a headcanon.

Yang is not a canon lesbian and it's perfectly valid and supported by Yang's canon interactions for people to consider her bi or pan, and people can even headcanon her as ace if they want. Trying to demand that other people see fictional characters as the sexuality you prefer them in is just going to drive wedges, especially when so much venom seems to be directed towards bi characters, with others acting like they're literally less rep if they also have romantic interactions with people of the opposite sex. Like, people literally have the idea of "I love that Blake is bi, but I hate that people are shipping her with men or talking about Blake's romances with men and idk why the show put any focus on her romantically interacting with men." Like, sure, okay, so you support bi characters so long as they don't be bi too obviously. But... I'm getting off topic.

Here's the thing... I would caution not to get too deep in this "there's too many lesbians," concept. We're supposed to all be one community, supporting and fighting for each other. The problem isn't that there's too much representation for lesbians, the problem is that there is not enough representation for bi people, or pan, or ace, or trans men, or trans women, or non-binary people, etc. We don't have to wish less for other gay people to wish for more for ourselves. I agree that disregarding Yang's moment of attraction to men maybe isn't the way to go, but it's not that there are already enough lesbians in RWBY. There are only three side characters (by the way, two of them aren't confirmed lesbians, just because they're in a relationship with each other,) two of whom made a very minor appearance in all of two or three episodes and will likely never return to the story. As you say, the rep that lesbians have gotten in RWBY isn't very good. Them desiring more representation is perfectly valid, and I even get them wanting that representation from Yang, despite her single moment of lusting after boys in season one. That's a perfectly understandable desire. I myself want gay Neptune despite him expressing interest in women. It's not wrong. The only thing that's wrong is villainizing and mocking people for their own very valid ships like BlackSun or Yang x Jaune or Yang x Mercury or Blake x Ren or whatever ships people like. I'm sorry that I can't agree with you here, but if there was a scene in RWBY where Yang discusses her feelings for Blake and says that she realized she's a lesbian... I might not be particularly happy with the writing staff, because I already heard there's an element of disregarding Blake's former relationship with Sun in things like the comics, which is frustrating as a bi person. But I would be happy for the people who would find in this something that speaks to them and makes them feel like their own experiences are represented. Sometimes I can feel excluded from the LGBTQ+ community due to my attraction towards men, and that's hard, but I'm not going to start devaluing the victories of other gay people because of it, I'm not going to start getting upset when they get representation, or when a character they love claims an identity that reflects their own.

I do get where your frustration is coming from though, and it's perfectly valid to feel upset and exasperated both with the way MKEK write their queer relationships and in how people in the fandom tend to disregard the bi identity of characters.

#rwde #anti rwby #rwby criticism #rwby critical #representation in rwby

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marumafan · 4 years ago

Text

A Guide For Yuuram Fans

Hello fellow yuuram fan! Have you ever caught yourself thinking:

- Does Yuuri like Wolf? - No, but I mean like "Does he REALLY like Wolf?" - Am I getting invested just to find out it's clickbait? - Is Yuuri ever going to accept Wolf's feelings? - Does Yuuri like guys? - Will they get married or not?

You have questions? I have source material-backed answers!

The Basics

First, you need to understand that there's a variety of so-called canons. There's an anime canon, a manga canon, a drama cd canon, a musical canon, and then some other random things that you can't really call canon but exist: such as games, radio shows, tv stuff not written by the author, etc.

All of these canons and non-canon stuff are fine, and you can enjoy them as much as you want, but they're NOT the source material. Source material are only the novels and stories that have been written by Takabayashi-sensei (anything in written form and some dramas also written by her according to interviews).

Takabayashi-sensei is the author of the novels (the source material out of which everything else is derived), and her word is "god's word". By the way, she used this term to refer to herself in regards to the maruma series, I'm not fangirling, but using terminology she herself used.

Please understand that most of the material that isn't 'source material' has been altered in many ways to appeal to a 'larger audience' (manga and drama cds), or to make it palatable to the more homophobic society of the 2000s (in the case of the anime). When the anime began social media didn't exist. And when the anime ended (in 2009), social media was in its infancy. That's how long ago these media were adapted from source material.

The Fandom

The fandom has influenced the source material itself at times (such as Conrad fans throwing a hissy fit when he died in novel 5 to the point that Takabayashi-sensei had to resurrect him and change who the key was and many other plot points since then). Certain shippers still force sensei's hand to write fanservice here and there, and despite that, one thing has been clear from the beginning:

Takabayashi-sensei's 'main couple' is the one she got engaged back in novel 1: Yuuri and Wolf, the royal couple.

The Bias

Before we get into the thick of this, let's take a moment to understand bias. I'm sure that if you're reading this far into this you really like yuuram and don't have a problem with homosexuality, boys love, etc. (I use yuuram to mean the royal couple: Yuuri and Wolf, nothing to do with 'who's on top' or anything like that, just a name for the ship with these two characters).

Despite that, anyone reading this has been born and raised in a highly hetero-normative society where if a girl so much looks at a boy she must be into him, and vice-versa.

Who can forget the "He was a boy, She was a girl, Can I make it any more obvious" lyrics of the 2000s? Same applies to 'ships' all across the board.

If any, and I mean any 'boy-girl' relationship was 10% of what the yuuram relationship is, there wouldn't be a single doubt that those two are in love, dating, married, and living happily ever after.

But when it comes to Yuuri and Wolf it feels like pulling teeth to get people to accept that they’re in a relationship. I blame mostly the anime for including weird non-canon ideas into fans minds, as well as heteronormative societies.

Please don’t be this person:

Finally, please take a moment to read THIS as an introduction to my next section.

The Royal Couple

Begin by forgetting everything you consumed from other canons (TV, manga, fanfics) if you truly want to appreciate the Royal Couple in its source material form.

1) Romantic interest

The source material has made Yuuri very interested in Wolfram since the very beginning. Of course, at first, he was only interested in Wolfram's physical appearance. But the more he got to know Wolfram the more he cared about him and the less he cared about his physical appearance.

To get a full picture of how madly he falls for Wolf, you need to read the novels, but here are some excerpts to illustrate my point:

How it started:

Source: Novel 1-Chapter 1

"Even if our bodies are evenly matched, when I just glanced up, I've already been defeated. How can he be this beautiful! (どうよ、この美しさ！) At the same time, his head is emitting an aura. Although it's likely that it seemed that way because of his dazzling blond hair. His looks and voice are like an older Vienna chorus boy. His white skin seems transparent, and his irises are an emerald green that make me think of the bottom of a lake, and furthermore he doesn't have a split chin. He's an angel, definitely an angry angel. However, because he's in this place, he's probably a beautiful demon."

-> Yuuri writes a fucking sonnet in his head about Wolf's beauty when they meet.

Source: Novel 1-Chapter 10

From the far side of the corridor, the blond with wavy hair comes running. The intense navy blue uniform suits him; the mazoku Prince Wolfram. I muttered in a sigh 'Although he's a man, he's this beautiful, Günter'.

-> Yuuri complains to Gunter that Wolf is too beautiful.

How it's going:

Source: Novel 17, Chapter 7

"Those words hurt me deeply inside my heart, a pain as though I was burnt in an instant. Because I had an experience like that, in which I nearly lost the most important person to me, just because he was wearing someone else’s clothes."

-> Yuuri calling Wolfram his most important person, code in the maruma series for person you're in love with.

Source: Do you want an exorcism? 2 (post novel 17)

"And because of that rich VARIETY in the configuration, mazoku is more an ethnicity than a race.

You have from kotsuhizoku, kotsuchizoku, and bone fish who are living creatures, even though they are just bones, to the seasonal migrating tribe of half-humanoid, half-fish maidmer princesses. As for the humanoid ones, there are regular looking ones like me or Conrad, but there are also some who are super beautiful like Günter or Wolfram............. as for the last one, this is just a little bit of my own personal bias, but it makes no difference if he's beautiful or not."

-> Yuuri saying that the beauty he went head over heals in novel 1 for, doesn't matter to him anymore because of his 'personal bias'

Source: Misepan 2: (post novel 17, arguably the last story written near the release of the novels)

"If I was in trouble, and I was missing something important. And you had one that was exactly the same ...."

"I'd lend it to you, of course"

I thought about this, literally with my hands on his chest. In fact, with my hand, that was pressed against his chest, I could feel that the speed of my partner's and my heartbeat was the same. Anyone would get blood rushing to their brains when they're seriously thinking about something. When I could calm down a little, I let out a small sigh.

"Or rather, when it comes to things that I can give you, I would give you anything, Wolf."

-> Yuuri tells Wolfram he would give him anything in the world.

2) Sexual interest:

-There are several times when the source material implies that Yuuri and Wolf don't just sleep at night.

Again, please remember that in the novels Greta does not sleep with Yuuri and Wolfram. This was a TV addition to appease homophobic minds. In fact, in the novels, Yuuri forbade Greta from sleeping with them because she's 'too old'. Also source material Greta is rarely in Shin Makoku as she's studying abroad half the time.

Source: Novel 2- Chapter10

"If I leave it up to you, it will never get settled."

"So, what kind of settlement do you want...?" My voice trails off as he sways his hips closer.

The former mazoku prince's face brightens and he pulls me down by the arm.

"Wah!"

"So you finally feel like settling things!?"

"I don't ~"

I'm scared to think about what sort of settlement this is. I'm not going to lose my life or anything, but I do feel like there's something else I'm going to lose. I desperately extract myself, fly into the bathroom and lock the door.

"Yuuri!"

"Wait wait wait! I gotta take a bath first, okay!? You don't wanna do it with a sweaty guy, right!?"

Do it...? I blanch at my own words.

-> Yuuri's subconscious is clearly working against him.XD It looks like Yuuri doesn't want to lose the v-card yet (he barely knows Wolf at this point), but he still says to Wolf he should take a bath before they do it. Gambare, Yu-chan

Source: Novel 4 - Chapter 1

-> Yuuri and Wolfram have been sleeping together for 3 months at the beginning of novel 4! Please! If this was a guy and girl you wouldn't be wondering what they're doing! He has a lock on the door! He can keep Wolf out , order him out, but he never does. Don’t be the gray haired lady!

Source: Never Ending Poison Lady 1

- "As a measure against Wolfram, who somehow even on our trips sleeps in the same bed as I do, I made a wall with three pillows which also had cute egg shaped buttons. I tucked my shirt into my pants, so that my stomach wouldn't get cold. After all, in the mornings when I woke up, both my clothes and my sleeping posture were always preposterous."

-> Yuuri says he puts some pillows to avoid getting into the weird sleeping postures and getting his clothes messed up and shirt untucked, but he never thinks of 'not sleeping with Wolf'~

Source: Never Ending Poison Lady 1 (same book as last)

- "While watching Wolfram's cheeks get red in excitement, a surprised Josak swallowed the question" You even sleep together when you're out on a trip?".

-> Even Jozak (the spy who's supposed to know everything) seems surprised that they're "sleeping together all the time". They're clearly hiding it from people.

Source: Maru maru maruMA- (book with series info and interviews)

Takabayashi-sensei replied to a question about Yuuri and Wolfram and what would happen once they get married... and she said it clearly: They'll have sex.

("Please answer my maruma question", maru maru maruMA)

Source: SS: Murakenzu 2018-11-13 (Paper 1 accompanying cd72) "Yeah, my father was talking about it, and she's still being called 'Gokumi', huh? At any rate, even if he was smiling way too much, his footsteps started to sound louder and faster as he got farther away. In that moment we thought: Eh? Is it that bad? Maybe they saw something while we were sleeping, or rather, maybe they took peeping photographs and want to do something bad with them."

"Rather than while you were sleeping, before going to sleep?"

"You mean like, when I do practice baseball swings naked or something?"

"Yeah, naked practice."

"Or maybe like, a picture of Wolf's butt when he's wearing his sexy negligee or something?"

"Ah! If a picture of it peeking out is released it would be bad, huh?"

"Then, I suddenly realized that "secret" might just be a hook. In other words, those trick titles that often appear in sports newspapers."

"Yes, yes."

-> Yuuri talks about Wolfram's butt showing as a common place and about himself being completely naked doing 'baseball practice' in the room with Wolf, whatever that may mean.

3) Illustrations

The 4 wedding pictures. Yuuri and Wolfram have been illustrated as married four times by the series' illustrator:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

And I like to add this fifth one (used in There's Valentine's Day in Shin Makoku!? DVD special), since in the black and white version, there's a comment by Takabayashi-sensei that says: "With this we've finally won against the anime team! ", meaning they beat them to the wedding.

4) Terminology

Yuuri and Wolf are referred to in tweets by Takabayashi-sensei, GEG-san and Temari-sensei as the Royal Couple (ロイカプ). The author, editor and illustrator all know already what they are and that's why they call them that.

More information:

Please, please read the source material. But if you won't, at least read some of the analyses I've made to find out more about yuuram. Yuuram is here, it’s canon, and their ship has sailed a long time ago, in novel 1. They were always meant to end up together and they have. (”The dream ending” was how the author wanted yuuram to end, happily married). This isn't clickbait, or fanwork. The author likes the Royal couple and will see that they end up together no matter what.

Additional information:

Yuuram in novel: 1 |2 |3 |4 |5 |6 |7 |8 |9 |10 |11 |12 |13 |14 |15 |16 |17

* Novel Analysis: Crossheart and Love Letter

* Novel Analysis: Misepan2

* Novel Analysis: Do you want an exorcism?

* Bias in KKM: English version of KKM

* Novel Analysis: Yuuri confessing to Wolf (w/quotes)

* Novel Analysis: Physical and mental development in mazoku

* Novel Analysis: Yuuri and Wolfram’s daily routine (with quotes)

* Novel facts: No mpreg in Shin Makoku (I get asked a lot)

#kyou kara maou #kkm #maruma #yuuram #guide

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sourwormsaresour · 4 years ago

Note

what are your thoughts on La Squadra's sexualities?

First off, Happy Pride Month! Please have a safe one. Before I start, I just want to let you guys know that I’m a straight cisgender woman so I’m not 100% knowledgeable on sexualities so these are based on my current knowledge of the community. I’m open to all head-canons about La Squadra’s sexualities besides my own :)

Sorbet and Gelato are gay, both using he/him pronouns, and are the most out compared to everyone in the team. Even though La Squadra knew about their relationships, the two themselves aren’t open about it outside of the team and their families. This is especially because relationships can be used against you in the crime world but also because their families rely on them to have a “good reputation” to live comfortably. I head-canon that they are both breadwinners of their families: Gelato has siblings that go to very conservative, academic institutions and rely on scholarships that look into family history for recommendations, and Sorbet’s mother requires medical attention from reputable doctors that also have homophobic biases that can be used against her. They’ve secretly used some of their money to help a street kid or two that they learned was disowned after being outed or assassinated a few people for hurting kids for being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even preying on them. The two men probably both went through phases where they thought they only liked women, tried to be in heterosexual relationships, and their enemies-to-lovers type of relationship had probably stemmed from their inability to properly process their attraction to each other at the time.

Formaggio is bisexual and prefers using he/him pronouns; he has a stronger attraction to women but is unaware that he’s attracted to men as well. A big part of why he’s so unaware or in denial of it came from his conservative upbringing in a working-class family and lack of representation growing up. Formaggio knew that men can be attracted to other men, but other aspects of the LGBTQ+ community is either unknown to him or seen in a negative perception; he’s learning more about the community and how to be a better ally, especially after meeting Sorbet and Gelato, but he’s still struggling to reverse the anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments he grew up believing. As a result of his past, Formaggio assumed that one can only be attracted to one gender and never crossed his mind that people can be attracted to more than one. He often tries to hide his attraction to men via “straight guy who’s unaware he’s gay occasionally spits homophobic jokes and says ‘no homo’ every time he says "I love you" to his friends but he means full homo” approach.

Illuso is pansexual and gender fluid, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns most of the time but also likes using neo-pronouns and occasionally prefers to use she/her pronouns. As a former intern for a fashion designer before he joined La Squadra, he’s relatively more exposed to meeting different people in the LGBTQ+ community through fashion; those who were higher in status and power would be more out about it than those in lower ranking and the community was a huge source for avant-garde, counter-culture influences. Despite getting more inspiration for his designs from his interactions and developing his identity in the LGBTQ+ space, that also led to him witnessing discrimination, abuse, and powerplay caused by the higher-ups; some became victims simply because of rumors that they may be part of the LGBTQ+ community or being forcibly outed, some are forced into relationships in exchange for opportunities and privileges, etc. He remains closeted and part of his arrogance stems from him hiding his sexuality due to the trauma of enduring the abuse and witnessing it as well. La Squadra doesn’t know his sexuality or know that he’s genderfluid, but they’re fine with adapting to his pronouns whenever they change.

Pesci is unaware that they’re gay and are non-binary that prefers they/them pronouns. Although they try to stick to he/him pronouns to avoid being out, they like using they/them more and get secretly happy when someone refers to them as such. I head-canon that they’re actually younger than Giorno when they encountered Team Bucciarati, which would explain why he never killed anyone up until this point (they’re a literal kid that’s slowly getting involved in the team when Sorbet and Gelato were killed, albeit they’re on the buffer side despite their age), and with their sheltered childhood and Prosciutto’s strict mentorship, they never got to sit down and think about their sexual and gender identity. They often try to pretend they’re a macho straight man alongside Formaggio but they end up feeling bad about it after trying to say a bad comment or joke to fit in. Pesci themselves feel like they’re alone in terms of the emotions of not being able to put your sexuality into words. It doesn’t help that they’re rather isolated compared to everyone except Risotto; they only knew La Squadra as their family ever since they joined the team and they never talk to anyone outside of the group.

Prosciutto is bisexual and genderfluid, preferring to identify with he/him pronouns, but he’s also the most closeted and probably has the most internalized homophobia as well. Growing up in the entertainment industry, especially in acting, means adhering to heteronormative standards; controversies of any kind would make or break a career and he constantly heard homophobic statements “disguised” as critiques around him from all levels of the entertainment industry. The fact that he was overworked up until his “career retirement” also didn’t give him the time to sit down and realize both his sexuality and how fucked up the film industry is in terms of its treatment towards the LGBTQ+ community. With his upbringing of being presentable and hiding his sexuality, he tries to present himself in the most Italian metrosexual straight machismo man he could and uses his “gentleman charms” towards women to avoid people from questioning further about his sexuality. But at the end of the day, he knows he’s lying to himself about his sexuality. And unfortunately, his anger at being unable to express that is often misdirected.

Melone is demi-sexual, though he presents himself as asexual and panromantic, and prefers using any pronouns. Like his teammates, he prefers using he/him for his safety. As a former scientist, he learned and got to know about the LGBTQ+ community through a more scientific perspective, but also knew there are hidden homophobic biases in the science community as well. Still, he does his best to be an ally for his peers before realizing he is demisexual and panromantic. His sexuality allows him to view the incubation and child-rearing aspect of his Stand without emotions or feelings involved and further explains how he views fornication and training his Juniors in a very scientific and analytical way without guilt taking over. Despite presenting himself as ace/straight (mostly for safety and because it’s easier to explain that he has no attraction to people than being a demisexual), I also see someone who yearns to have a strong emotional connection to someone and would give his all to the person he loves most. His overtly sexual nature is more of an act (I've heard that some aces tend to act overtly sexual, either to avoid being outed or as a result of growing up thinking that need to feel an attraction is necessary) and Melone secretly desires being attracted to someone he learns to trust, admire, and love over time. I have a backstory that plays into that but I might disclose it another time. ;)

Ghiaccio is on the same boat with Prosciutto in terms of having internalized homophobia due to his childhood career as a child athlete. At the time he was training to be an Olympic hopeful as a solo figure skater, Ghiaccio was born female and had to remain in the closet due to the conservative nature of the ice skating world and his step-father being notorious for his opinions favoring homophobia and sexism. Once he joined La Squadra, Ghiaccio began experimenting with himself and ultimately came out as transgender, presenting himself with he/him pronouns, and had been using testosterone ever since. Most members that joined after him only knew Ghiaccio as male while the other members are either indifferent about his gender or are involved in helping Ghiaccio transition to be male. Transitioning also helped him realized he was aromantic and gay, which provided him closure from the years of struggle he had trying to fit into the heteronormative expectations he thought he had to conform to when he was female. The effect of testosterone also explains his brash and short-tempered nature, although that stems more from him finally being able to express himself after years of repressing his emotions as a child.

Risotto is also aromantic and asexual, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns, although he doesn’t know that he is aro/ace, to begin with. Growing up, he never really cared when he heard his older relatives or adults making comments about how “he’d make a good husband” or “have the girls chase him”, because all he cared about was his family and friends. He just assumes that once he becomes a “big boy”, then he’ll have thoughts of wanting to get married like the fairytales say. Just let his future spouse have children with him in any way and he'll play the role of husband regardless. Since his cousin’s death, he gave up the idea of having any sexual or romantic interest in anyone. Why to go out of your way to find any relationship when they’ll be dead soon enough- that was Risotto’s logic. He’s not aware that he can define himself as aro/ace, he just assumes that the trauma he went through with his cousin’s death stops him from feeling any attraction and doesn’t make an effort to figure out why.

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kjack89 · 4 years ago

Text

gold rush

As was requested, a sequel to ‘tis the damn season (tumblr, AO3). ExR, modern AU, former relationship. Still not a happy ending. Still the potential for writing more.

I’m here.

Enjolras sent the text message and tried to ignore what felt an uncomfortable amount like nerves as he leaned against the fence, scrolling aimlessly through Twitter. He jumped when the gate swung open next to him, relaxing only slightly when he saw Grantaire. “Hey,” Grantaire said, his breath fogging the air.

“Hey,” Enjolras returned, a little awkwardly, wondering what the protocol was for greeting an ex.

Luckily, Grantaire solved the problem for him, reaching out to give him a quick, one-armed hug. “I honestly wasn’t sure you’d call,” he said as he let go of Enjolras. “Considering how we, uh, left things.”

Enjolras was tempted to ask if he was referring to how they’d left things a few nights ago after their chance meeting outside of the bar, or how they’d left things a decade ago when they broke up, but decided against it. “Technically I didn’t call you,” he pointed out instead, shoving his phone in the pocket of his coat. “I texted.”

Grantaire grinned. “Pedantic as always,” he said.

Wordlessly, they fell in line next to each other, walking down the sidewalk in momentary silence, which Grantaire broke with a sideways look at Enjolras. “So are you still scared of my parents?”

Enjolras scowled. “I’ve never been scared of your parents,” he said, somewhat insulted.

“Then why would you not just come up and ring my doorbell instead of texting me?” Grantaire asked, amused. “For that matter, why did you never once ring my doorbell the entire time we were dating?”

“I don’t know,” Enjolras said honestly. “I guess it never occurred to me that I should have.”

Grantaire chuckled and shook his head. “Well, I suppose I can forgive you,” he said, nudging Enjolras lightly with his shoulder. “You were in high school, after all. And an idiot.”

“Thanks,” Enjolras said sourly.

“But I’m sure you’ve had a lot more experience meeting the parents of your significant other, Grantaire continued, glancing sideways at Enjolras. Right?”

Enjolras hesitated. “Depends on what you mean by experience,” he hedged.

Grantaire raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“In my defense, I haven’t really ever dated someone that seriously.” Grantaire didn’t say anything and Enjolras winced with sudden realization. “Besides, um, besides you, I mean,” he muttered.

To his surprise, Grantaire just laughed lightly. “You don’t have to do that, you know,” he said, and Enjolras frowned at him.

“Do what?”

Grantaire shrugged. “Pretend like we were more than what we were.”

Enjolras frowned at him. “I was under the impression we dated for three years in high school,” he said warily, wondering where exactly Grantaire was going with this.

Evidently, nowhere, since Grantaire just shook his head and looked down at the slush-dotted sidewalk. “You know what? Let’s not do this right now.”

Part of Enjolras wanted to ask, again, do what?, but he figured playing dumb wouldn’t get him particularly far. Instead, he asked, “Why not?”

“Because this is our last night in town together, and I assume when you texted me this morning to ask if I wanted to grab a drink that there would actually be drinks involved,” Grantaire said with a sigh. “And I don’t know about you, but I prefer my drinks without dredged up decades-old arguments.”

Enjolras cocked his head slightly. “Does it count as an argument if only one party is seemingly involved?”

Grantaire didn’t laugh. “I’ll defer to the lawyer among us on that.”

“Then I would say no,” Enjolras said, but Grantaire still didn’t so much as crack a smile. “Seriously, I’m not sure where you’re going with this, and I’m definitely not sure I can table something that I don’t understand.”

Grantaire sighed and crossed his arms tightly across his chest. “Can we please just get that drink?” he asked, sounding tired. “It’s too fucking cold to have this conversation out here. And you know that I’ve always been better arguing with a drink or twelve in me.”

“On that point, the defense will stipulate.”

“Ok Yoda,” Grantaire said with a snort.

Enjolras scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Grantaire gave him a look. “Please tell me that I don’t have to explain Star Wars to you.”

“Fuck off, you know that’s not what I meant,” Enjolras said, without any real heat. “But if you see me as Yoda, of all characters—”

“I didn’t say that, but your turn of phrase was particularly Yoda-esque,” Grantaire shot back.

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “So you don’t think I’m like Yoda?”

Grantaire smirked. “Didn’t say that either.”

Enjolras rolled his eyes and huffed, “I feel like I’m beginning to understand why Han shot first.”

“Oh, so now I’m Greedo?” Grantaire asked, half-insulted and half-amused.

“And I didn’t say that.”

The familiar bickering carried them all the way to the bar, where they settled at a table in the back. “Uh, vodka tonic for me,” Grantaire told their waitress as he struggled to peel his sweatshirt off, the tshirt he was wearing underneath caught up in it as he tugged it up over his head.

Enjolras tried not to stare at the swath of taut skin revealed, and it took several tries before he realized the waitress had asked him a question. “Uh, what?”

“Can I get you something to drink?” the waitress repeated, looking like she was trying not to laugh.

“Uh…” Enjolras trailed off as Grantaire, finally triumphant over his sweatshirt, settled back in his seat, his arm muscles shifting as he reached up in vain to flatten his hair. “I’ll have the same.”

The waitress nodded and headed over to the bar, and Grantaire frowned at Enjolras. “Since when do you drink vodka?”

“Since when do you?” Enjolras returned, arching an eyebrow. “Last I saw, whiskey was your drink of choice.”

“Yeah, well, too many Jamo shots will ruin even the best whiskeys,” Grantaire said with a light laugh. “Besides, clear liquor has less calories, and I’m trying to watch my girlish figure.”

Enjolras laughed and the waitress returned with their drinks. Grantaire picked up his drink and made a mock toast. “Happy holidays,” he said, taking a large sip, as Enjolras just shook his head, his own sip much more reasonable.

“So now that you have alcohol in your system,” he said, setting his glass down on the table, “can we revisit what it was you were talking about earlier when you said that I shouldn’t pretend we were something we weren’t?”

Grantaire sighed. “Just when I was beginning to have a nice time,” he said mournfully.

“Grantaire.”

Even after all those years, it appeared Enjolras saying Grantaire’s name had a similar effect as it used to, as Grantaire sighed again, tracing a finger around the rim of his glass. “I just think you and I remember things a little differently,” he said carefully. “Maybe it’s just nostalgia coloring your memories, or maybe you’ve got early-onset Alzheimer’s.”

Enjolras frowned. “That’s not funny.”

“And the one thing I ever had going for me was making you laugh,” Grantaire said, a little too wry to be a joke. “But seriously...whatever you and I had, it wasn’t a relationship.” He tried to smile, but to Enjolras, it looked more like a grimace. “Not in the traditional sense of the word, anyway.”

Enjolras searched his expression for a long moment, trying and failing to understand what he meant. “What are you saying?” he asked finally.

Grantaire picked his drink up and drained it before glancing around for their waitress. “I’m saying that you were my boyfriend. But I wasn’t yours.” He spotted their waitress and gestured to her before meeting Enjolras’s eyes again. “I was, at best, your friend with benefits.” He made a face. “Probably more accurately, I was your booty call. Physical release. Whatever you want to call it.”

“That’s—”

Not true was what Enjolras desperately wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to. Mostly because he had a sinking feeling that Grantaire was correct. Grantaire arched an eyebrow as he waited for Enjolras to say something, taking a sip of his drink when the waitress returned with a refill. “Fine,” Enjolras said finally. “Maybe it was mostly physical, but that wasn’t all it was.”

“Sure, it was also your rebellion against the heteronormative world,” Grantaire said, nodding.

Enjolras scowled. “That’s not what I meant.”

Grantaire sighed. “Enjolras—”

“I loved you.”

Grantaire’s expression was unreadable. “Maybe you did. I can’t exactly claim to know every thought that’s run through your head. But I can tell you that that’s not how you acted at the time.”

“Was I really that horrible to you?” Enjolras asked quietly.

Grantaire considered it for a moment. “I think to be really horrible, that would have required you to care more about me,” he said slowly. “Instead, you...tolerated me, I guess.”

Enjolras’s chest felt tight as he thought desperately back on their relationship, on some piece of evidence he could present that would prove Grantaire incorrect. Instead, his mind replayed a litany of memories he had long since buried, of all the times Enjolras had scoffed when Grantaire tried to do something romantic, or told him to be serious when Grantaire asked him to homecoming or prom, or blew off their date nights because he had work to do on a protest.

Or, worst of all, that early morning in Enjolras’s bed, when Grantaire told him that he loved him, and Enjolras had told him that he needed to leave before Enjolras’s parents woke up.

Enjolras swallowed, hard, and forced himself to look at Grantaire. “You must’ve hated me for how I treated you,” he said softly.

Grantaire’s smile was sad. “I’ve never once in my life hated you, Enj,” he said quietly. “If anything, I hated myself for not being someone you could love.”

“I’m sorry.”

Grantaire shook his head. “That’s my issue, not yours. You didn’t do that to me.” He managed a tight smile. “I knew who you were when we were together. I knew what you wanted out of life, and I knew I wasn’t going to be a part of that.” He took a swig of his drink before adding, “And let’s also not pretend like I was some kind of stellar boyfriend. I was a fucked up mess.”

Enjolras huffed a sigh. “Maybe we both were,” he mused.

“Is that what this is about?” Grantaire asked mildly.

Enjolras frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, is this whole trip down memory lane with me just you trying to figure out where it all went wrong for you?”

“I– Who says it all went wrong for me?” Enjolras blustered. Grantaire just arched an eyebrow and Enjolras sighed, frowning down at his own, mostly untouched drink. “I guess I did envision a very different life for myself,” he admitted.

“And you’re not happy with where you are right now?” Grantaire asked, in a way that suggested he knew the answer and just wanted to hear Enjolras say it.

“How could I be?” Enjolras asked, aiming for levity as he added, “I wear a suit to work everyday, Grantaire. With a tie. My father told me he’s proud of me.”

Grantaire snorted. “The horror.” He propped his chin on his hand. “But speaking of your father, what happened to your college fund?”

“My college fund?”

“Yeah, you said that you’re working as a corporate attorney because you have to pay off your student loans, right?” Enjolras nodded and Grantaire continued, “If memory serves, your grandparents left you a fairly sizeable college fund that you were supposed to use to pay for school so that you didn’t have to take out student loans.”

“Ah,” Enjolras said, wincing. “They did.”

“And?” Grantaire prompted.

Enjolras sighed again. “And in a moment of well-intentioned idiocy, I donated every cent of it to charity.” He paused and took a sip of his drink. “Well, almost. I did pay for undergrad with it. But what was left went to charity. And then my father told me that he would be happy to pay for law school.”

Grantaire raised both eyebrows. “Really?”

Enjolras made a face. “Yeah, if I agreed to specialize in business law.”

“And?”

“And I told him to get fucked,” Enjolras said bluntly before making a face again. “Of course he’s clearly had the last laugh, so.”

Grantaire shook his head, his expression softening. “Don’t count yourself out yet. I mean, for Christ’s sake, you’re not even 30 years old yet. You’ve got time.” He paused before adding, “Besides, I still believe in you.”

Enjolras gave him a look. “Be serious.”

Grantaire half-smiled. “I am wild.”

A small smile twitched at the corners of Enjolras’s mouth and he shook his head slowly. “I keep thinking that you’ve changed so much, but then you go and say something like that and it’s like we’re 18 years old again.”

Grantaire laughed and took another sip of his drink. “I don’t know that I’d say I’ve changed,” he said.

“Then what would you say?”

“That I’ve had a lot of therapy, mostly,” Grantaire said, suddenly serious. “And grown up a little. And that while I may not have changed as much as you’re giving me credit for, I’m also not the fucked up mess I was in high school.”

Enjolras nodded, looking down at his drink again. “I wish I could say the same thing.”

“Well, it’s not too late to try.”

“I suppose not,” Enjolras allowed, managing a small smile, though it quickly faded. “And now I feel even worse.”

Grantaire frowned. “Why?”

“Because we’ve spent all this time talking about me and I haven’t asked you anything about you.” Grantaire made a face but Enjolras continued, “What are you doing these days? Hell, where are you living these days?”

“In a van, down by the river,” Grantaire said dryly.

“Hilarious.”

Grantaire smirked. “I like to think I am.” He shrugged. “I also prefer keeping a little mystery about me. Keeps ‘em coming for more, you know?”

Enjolras arched an eyebrow. “So you’re not going to answer even basic questions?”

Something darkened in Grantaire’s expression. “I mean, what is there to say? You want the square footage of my apartment? You want me to drone on about my terrible, awful, absolute godsend of a cat? You want me to talk about the latest exhibit I’m curating at the gallery I work at?”

“Actually, yeah.” Enjolras said, a little defensively, even if he didn’t quite understand the hard edge in Grantaire’s voice. “I’d like to hear about your life, if you’d let me.”

Grantaire shook his head and finished his second drink, already looking around for their waitress. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Enjolras asked impatiently.

“Pretend you’re interested.”

“What makes you think I’m not actually interested?” Grantaire scoffed and looked away, and Enjolras swallowed, hard, realization hitting as the theme of the evening returned in full force. “Because I never used to be.”

“Not particularly, no.”

“I’m—”

Grantaire looked flatly at him. “I swear to God, Enjolras, if you try to apologize one more time…”

Enjolras held his hands up defensively. “Fine, then I’m not sorry for being a completely self-absorbed asshole.”

It was a little too caustic to be a joke, which is probably why Grantaire just shook his head, something contemplative in his expression. “You were never self-absorbed. A little self-important, maybe, and with a white savior complex to rival the colonizers you so desperately hated—”

“Watch it.”

Grantaire smirked, though it quickly faded. “But your problem was never that you only cared about yourself. Your problem was that you cared so much about saving the world that you didn’t have a lot left for the people right in front of you.”

Enjolras nodded slowly. “Yeah, well, I don’t have that problem anymore,” he said tiredly.

Grantaire just raised an eyebrow. “That remains to be seen.”

“Harsh, but fair,” Enjolras said with a dry, humorless laugh. “Well, in the spirit of trying to show you that, tell me about yourself. And I will actually listen.”

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “Fine, I will tell you about myself – if you answer one question for me.”

“Anything.”

“Why now?”

The stark question took Enjolras by surprise, and he blinked at Grantaire. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why do you suddenly want to know about me?” Grantaire asked, a challenge in his tone. “My phone number hasn’t changed. Facebook exists. Hell, you could even find me on LinkedIn if you really wanted to. But you never made that attempt. So I want to know why you care now.” He gestured around the bar. “Because if it’s just proximity, you go back to your life tomorrow, and I go back to mine, and since the likelihood of us running into each other again is pretty slim, you don’t have to waste time pretending to care.”

“That’s not fair,” Enjolras said quietly.

Grantaire jerked a shrug. “Maybe not. But like I said, I grew up. And I don’t have time for anything but honesty.”

Enjolras’s brow furrowed. “Fine, you want honesty?” he snapped, more riled than he had any right to be. “The phone works both ways. If you had wanted to stay in touch, you could have just as easily.”

A ghost of a smile crossed Grantaire’s face. “Objection. Presumes facts not in evidence.”

“I beg your pardon?” Enjolras said coldly.

“C’mon, you’re a lawyer, if I can pick up what that means from watching reruns of Law & Order, surely I don’t have to explain it to you.” Enjolras just gave him a look, and Grantaire sighed. “Fine, I guess I do.” He picked up his drink and lifted it in a mock toast once again. “I never said that I wanted to stay in touch.”

Grantaire didn’t deliver the words harshly, but Enjolras still recoiled. “Now who’s the one who doesn’t care?”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them, but it was too late to take them back. Hurt flashed across Grantaire’s face before his expression evened out. “There are a lot of things you can accuse me of,” he said quietly, “but don’t ever accuse me of not caring about you. Not after everything.”

“I’m sorry,” Enjolras said softly. “That was...out of line.”

“You think?”

Enjolras swallowed and looked away. “So why didn’t you want to stay in touch?” he asked, a little roughly.

Grantaire sighed. “Because I preferred not knowing,” he said simply. “If I didn’t know where you were at, what you were doing, then I could imagine you however I wanted to.” He managed a small, slightly sad smile. “And, at the beginning at least, I could imagine a way that we could still work things out.”

“Like what?” Enjolras asked, intrigued despite himself.

Grantaire glanced at him. “Do you actually want to know?”

“Yes.”

Enjolras wasn’t sure if Grantaire would believe him, but it didn’t seem to matter. Or maybe Grantaire had been looking for an opportunity, and this was as good as any. “I used to imagine showing up at your fancy law school,” Grantaire said slowly, with a genuine if wistful smile. “I used to imagine that I’d sneak into one of those fancy alumni dinners – I don’t know how – and I’d hide in the background, watching you, biding my time. Then when the opportunity came, when you made some claim about the working class or something, I’d casually speak up, contradict you or ask for your sources, just to watch the recognition on your face as you looked at me.”

“But you never did,” Enjolras said, his heart beating painfully in his chest, and Grantaire snorted and shook his head.

“Of course not,” he scoffed.

Enjolras frowned slightly. “Why not?”

Grantaire just shook his head. “Logistics aside, because I knew the reality would never have been as satisfying as what I imagined.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, in the version in my head, you’d smoothly counter my point, we’d bicker like old times and then you’d excuse us to discuss this further. And then…” He trailed off, his smile turning sad. “Well, then we’d wander around campus, bickering some more and it would be like you’d never left. Like we never ended.” His voice cracked and he looked away. “Perfect.”

Enjolras almost didn’t want to speak, to interrupt the moment, but he also couldn’t stop himself from asking, “And you didn’t want to try for that?”

Grantaire shook his head again. “Of course not. Because it was a dream. That version of me and that version of you don’t exist.”

“Do you think they ever could have?” Enjolras asked.

“I don’t know,” Grantaire said honestly. “But it doesn’t matter. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past decade, looking back only gets you so far.” He finished his drink and set it down with a clunk on the table. “Let that be the lesson of the evening, I guess. And speaking of…” He looked at his bare wrist as if pretending to look at a watch. “It’s probably time I got home. I’ve got an early train to catch in the morning.”

“Hang on,” Enjolras said, frowning. “You still didn’t tell me anything about you.”

Grantaire smirked. “Oh, you noticed that, did you?”

Enjolras gave him a look. “So stay,” he said, more of a request than an order. “Have one more drink. Tell me about your life.” Grantaire shook his head and Enjolras reached across the table, closing his hand around Grantaire’s wrist. “Please.”

“I can’t,” Grantaire said quietly. “But you’ve got my number, if you ever want to continue this conversation. Or, y’know, start a different one.”

“I wish…” Enjolras trailed off. “I don’t know. I wish I had more time. To make things up to you.” He met Grantaire’s eyes. “Or to at least try.”

Grantaire smiled crookedly at him. “Are you kidding me?” he asked, twisting his hand in Enjolras’s grip so that he could grasp his hand. “You’ve given me the only thing I’ve wanted for ten years.”

“What?”

“You asked me to stay.“

Enjolras’s throat felt tight. “Grantaire—”

Grantaire let go of Enjolras’s hand and stood, grabbing his coat and sweatshirt. “Take care of yourself, Enjolras,” he said softly. “You know how to reach me if you want to. Otherwise…”

He didn’t bother finishing his sentence, just rapping his knuckles lightly on the table before walking away. Enjolras watched him leave, wondering not for the first time if this is how Grantaire had felt watching him leave a decade ago.

Wondering if this was really the end for them.

And wondering, just a little, if this was what heartbreak felt like.

#enjolras #grantaire #exr #enjoltaire #enjolras x grantaire #fanfiction #les miserables #modern au #former relationship #light angst #idk what even to tag this as #there's a lot of painful honesty here #things that should have been said a long time ago etc etc #and then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea 'cause it could never be

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buddiewho · 4 years ago

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Okay. So yes, I want bisexual Evan Buckley. It’s just this power radiating from this...we’re confident about Buck and then there’s Eddie. It’s just two bisexuals would be soul ascending. It would be...amazing. How else do I say it? Two bisexuals. Imagine it. Two bisexual (enemies to best friends, to roommates to lovers) in love with each other. Which leads me to believe that part of 4b must entail some hints or some push towards Eddie rethinking his sexuality. Or completely knowing it already and stops repressing it.

Also, I do think you can make a claim for Evan Buckley on the pansexual side of things. It seems like it could be a direction for him, I’m not denying that either. However, there was a description I heard of bisexuality and pansexuality that sticks with me. Bisexual is attraction to multiple genders. Pansexual is attraction to all gender. Multiple means different than all. Right? Multiple for me is men, women and non-binary people. For some bisexuals it sticks to men and women, I suppose, with the varying moods of attraction to either of them. Sometimes I think, while the bridge doesn’t necessarily connect entirely, like we don’t meet each other on the side all the time-there’s this knowing solidarity between bi/pan ppl that well, sometimes people are just fucking beautiful. Everyone is motherfreakin’ beautiful okay sometimes excluding gender. Now, the reason I think I’m so possessive of Evan Buckley is because it’s been shown (and the journey isn’t really done) but his bisexuality has been shown as a multiple sort of thing, sticking to mostly women. Only really thinking about men, never having gone forward with any of his attractions or feelings and so do I believe Eddie’s on screen introduction ignited that shit again? Hell yeah. And essentially Eddie meeting Buck did the same thing. They’re just sincerely repressing that shit.

It’d also just be soul ascending to see the two of them answer that one question, “so you’re gay now?” And just say, “no.” Person is still confused but Buck and Eddie are now too busy being cute [by that I mean their normal shoulder bumping probably, ha!] but now they’re just kissing each other.

“Isn’t that gay?” Buck pulls away from the kiss. Eddie sighs, watching Buck angle up for the speech; he’s heard it before and it gives him the same blissful feeling every time. “Yeah, sure it is. Of course it is but me and him. We like girls too. Thing is me and him, we also fell madly in love with each other. It is what it is. We’re still bisexual but damn, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“This idiot,” Eddie muttered. “Would you just give it up already and kiss me again?”

“Again, right here in front of this person and more?” Buck turned on his heels.

“Yup,” Eddie grinned. The stranger simply gave up and walked away; not entirely sure they received any answers. The boyfriends didn’t care. They got lost in another kiss.

Also, this is just me going hiatus crazy. But it reminds me of something I also notice about bisexuality. It’s generally still thought of as the gateway to the end journey. That it’s not the actual stopping point. And often, I think the media is afraid to show a bisexual person with the same sex. They are afraid to do as bisexuality states. You’re a bi (man) and that means you like men and woman, okay so we will show you dating both men and women [which may be something bisexuals have to work towards and I think most of us don’t want to remain in a “I’ve only ever dated men” rut or vice versa]. However, the media platform will then only show this bi male character with women, dropping all those hints about how he thinks Johnny on the football team is also sexy or something. Same goes for the opposite, but with that “spice.” You’re a bisexual girl okay so kiss my gf right now dude, threesome yeah boy. Then still that bisexual girl’s journey is about finding the “right man” and all this heteronormativity bs. There’s also the other prominent hurdle for bi men and that’s the straight girl’s “ooh, you’ve been with men? You’re just gay then, right?” Suppose the same goes for bi girls with some lesbians, “ooh you’ve been with men, naw girl...sorry.” Perhaps the bisexual journey does end with the opposite sex. Imagine a bisexual person coming out of high school as part of those high school sweetheart couples, you know? So that was it perhaps but that doesn’t invalidate your bisexuality.

This also comes to another thought. When can a story be about the right person? Clearly, we can collectively agree on Eddie’s repressed bi feelings so he’s attracted to Ana, yes, but doesn’t see or want to believe in his attraction to Buck (or men in general). However, out of these two who is the right person? We’ve already touched on some things like how Ana is about limitations and sort of has this blasé attitude to trying again. Who actually gives merit to Chris’s independence and who never gives up? Who lets Eddie be entirely himself? That is a person named Buck.

This distinction I think has already been made by the show. So we’re in the stepping stones of this Ana and Eddie thing. Sure, she’s Chris’s former teacher, that lends some trust, perhaps, but how do you make that step to be like oh, you got this? You can watch him while I go to work? That is if you’re not busy. How do we shape that trust when it already started off broken? (the skateboard, yeah, the skateboarding thing...) *keyboard smash*

We’re forcing something here.

You know making these posts and envisioning this shit feels so easy. Then I know reality will set in and perhaps and we’ll have to choke down two straight besties dating their new love interests. Yummy. Tastes delicious, it really does, but like I’ve said before I’d rather choke down one (or both) bisexual besties dating their new love interests. The third option (Buddie) however tastes so much more delicious 🤤 especially for a show integrating drama in the characters lives as reflected by the emergencies (last three episodes: Jinx, There Goes the Neighborhood and Breaking Point). Or the entire premise of the show, but really...

I’m just waiting on the universe.

#buddie #if you read this #you are amazing and I love you #thank you #I think I've lost it #someone take my computer #okay #actually pls dont #hehe #climb into my clown car #there's room I know there is #and this is a confident clown car #but when it rolls down the embankment into some kind of lake...#then well cool I guess #however I see us avoiding that accident and riding off into the sunset

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voxofthevoid · 5 years ago

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Taking It Up The Ass Isn’t Character Growth - A Rant

So, in response to an ask a while back, I said I had a rant brewing on fandom and sex positions, and well, a lot of you wanted to see it, so here you go. You literally asked for it.

Disclaimer: This is going to talk a lot about top/bottom roles in slash fic and fandom attitude towards them and is heavily filtered through the lens of my own tastes and experiences with fandom. I’d also like to be upfront that I am 100% in favor of people writing whatever fictional content they want, and it’s not what fandom does with characters that bothers me but rather how that translates into attitudes towards real, live people. Also, this is the essay version of a slow burn AU because I regurgitate my entire fandom history before getting to the point. Beware.

I discovered fan-fiction around a decade ago, had no clue what the hell it was, got hooked and dived deeper. I started participating in fandom circa 2013, and I was fairly young and also completely inexperienced both sexually and romantically. The fandom in question was Hannibal and my ship of choice was Hannibal/Will. It was/is a very chill fandom in general, but we had our drama. And chief among the contentious topics was—you guessed it—the top/bottom debate. I can’t actually remember any other topic that was discussed and argued for so ardently in that fandom, at least in those days. Even after I drifted away, I came across a few posts on the matter.

Generally, you had two camps—people who supported strict roles and those who were in favor of switching*. And because we’re a society plagued by illogical assumptions, the strict role camp mostly had people who thought Mr. Big Bad Cannibal in the Fancy Suits wouldn’t take it up the ass because he’s older, more experienced, more mentally stable, and of course, more ‘dominant’ in personality. Yes, that sentence is chock full of problematic shit. I am aware. Lots of people were aware and argued strongly against attributing top/bottom roles to personality. I don’t remember anyone arguing as enthusiastically for Top Will, but those voices were also there. But the general idea was that assigning strict top/bottom roles to a male/male couple was casting them in a heterosexual mold and thus, the progressive option was to make them switch. Strict roles also garnered comparisons to “yaoi” and uke/seme stereotypes, which was of course bad and fetishizing and we, the Western media fans, of course had to do better. Stealth racism is fun to untangle.

Anyway, I lapped up the woke juice. Partly because I was a baby queer from Buttfuck Nowhere, Asia, who had zero exposure to LGBT+ communities and what queer folks did with each other. Partly because it was the stance taken by most of my favorite writers so it seemed like a good position to emulate.

Emulate it I did. Most discussions I had about this happened in private with the handful of close friends I had in fandom. Where it really showed was in my writing. I made sure to write switching—maybe not in every fic, but then I alternated between fics. Thing is though, I did have a preference. I liked Top Will. I created and consumed a ton of Top Hannibal, and sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was not, but I couldn’t pinpoint why it made me uncomfortable. Back then, I thought I was a cis questioning/bi girl and once again, the impression I got was that not being MLM, having a preference was automatic fetishization. So I tried my best to justify my preferences, to my friends at least. I think what I said was that fandom was skewed towards Top Hannibal, and I liked the opposite because I’m a contrary fuck. Which I am, to be fair, but this was just me desperately trying to figure shit out without being offensive.

That’s the line I touted all the way until 2018, which was when I fucked off to grad school in A City, finally freed of Buttfuck Nowhere and able to actually date. At this point, I was settled in my sexuality (girls only) and questioning my gender (non-binary or trans guy). I had also tentatively figured out during undergrad that I’m an exclusive top and a Dom. Actual attempts at dating cemented that, yes, those are my preferences, about as flexible as a steel rod. Cue motherfucking epiphany over my fanfic tastes.

And see, over these years, I was engaging intermittently with fandom. I dutifully wrote switch couples. I also continued to have rigid tastes and continued to explain it away as being a contrary fuck—to be fair, until Steve/Bucky, my preference did seem to be the opposite of the larger fandom preference. But correlation, as we know, isn’t causation. Until Steve/Bucky, I continued to write versatile couples because I honestly didn’t have the guts to just say I liked it just one way. I do now but even then, I feel compelled to add that it’s because I want to see my own taste reflected in fic, so I write/read the character I relate to as a top, it's not that deep etc. Would I be as forthright if I didn’t have that reason? Would I have such strict preferences in fic if I didn’t have strict preferences IRL? The latter’s a mystery, but the former isn’t—I wouldn’t be because fandom is still entrenched in the same ideas that got me to this point to begin with.

In every fandom I’ve been in, I’ve seen some version of this debate go around. Sometimes, it’s one party saying “why would you write Character X as a bottom, he’s so Reason A” and a reblog chain that insults the OP and/or extols the virtues of switching. Sometimes, it’s a general-ish message that says they don’t understand why people have strict preferences when we all know real gay couples switch. Sometimes, it’s blanket statements that accuse anyone with preferences of fetishizing. Sometimes, it’s the same reasoning that gets you “Character Y is a top because of Reason B” transposed on versatile couples except this takes the form of “they switch because they’re equals.”

Ya’ll, I’m fucking tired.

I have long since lost count of the number of stories I’ve seen where an exclusive top learning bottom and liking it is character growth. Where a character who prefers to bottom taking a turn on top is empowering.

Isolated, these are fine. But I’ve seen enough of such stories that it’s distinctly discomfiting and a major squick. Sometimes a trigger, if I'm too immersed in the story. I’m not going to try and burn an author at the stake because they pissed me off. I am just going to close that window and quietly handle my shit. People can write whatever they want. But this one theme hits too close to home, as you can see from this 1.6k rant.

My friend (also my ex-girlfriend) and I had an all-out bitching session about this the other day. Both of us are kinky fuckers who have rigid, complementary roles we prefer and we have both had our grueling days of struggling to reconcile our sexual tastes with our ideologies precisely because of how these things are frowned upon in conservative and progressive circles. Seeing that in fandom, of all places, is both insulting and exhausting. Topping and bottoming aren’t personality traits. Neither is D/s. It’s sexual preference and power play. It really does not have to be that deep. I am not exorcising childhood trauma using the bodies of women. My partners, former and current, have not been brainwashed by the patriarchy. We will not become better, more complete individuals once I magically stop being a stone top and my partners embrace the joys of a strap-on.

I have, with my own two eyes, seen someone say that in a really committed relationship, of course the couple will switch.

Bullshit.

It’s transparent bullshit. This does not get attributed to cisgender M/F couples. Even when the automatic assumptions of woman = bottom and man = top get addressed, switching isn't presented as the default. No one’s saying “oh, if you really love your husband, you’ll peg him”. I do know butch/femme sapphic couples get their own share of shit. Because it’s all heteronormativity, right? Can’t have any other reason for top/bottom roles.

You have two extremes with “so who’s the woman” on one end and “it’s woke only if they switch” on the other, and as far as I’m concerned, they’re equally damaging. There shouldn’t be a pressure, however subtle, to conform your taste in fiction to some arbitrary idea of progressiveness. People are going to like whatever they want anyway; all this does is create an atmosphere where those likes can’t always be freely expressed without a lot of mental gymnastics. We’re seeing so many versions of this in the pushback against so-called problematic content, but smaller, subtler versions exist too.

Fictional characters aren’t real. They can be whatever you want them to be. And yes, other people will often want them to be the exact opposite of your ideas, but that’s just how things work. Meanwhile, the people behind these usernames? They’re real. No one should be throwing real people under the bus to ‘protect’ characters that don’t exist. Hannibal Lecter doesn’t care whether he gets fucked or dismembered in Author B’s fanfiction, but the discourse that surrounds the dick up his ass? That does affect flesh and blood people.

I am not claiming that this is the only attitude in fandom. Middlegrounds do exist. Plenty of people abide by fic and let fic and there are folks who pipe up to say not every RL queer couple switches. But it’s often the extremes that reach most people. That was certainly my experience, and I’m not the only one.

I don’t really know how to end this post. It is 100% a rant and one that’s been building up for a while. Bottom line is that people’s sexual behavior varies wildly and whenever you attack sexual tastes in fanfic by saying it’s unrealistic - or worse because let’s be real, that’s a very tame word choice - please remember that there’s likely someone out there who practices it.

* I’m using switch and versatile synonymously in this post. It’s mostly concerned with top/bottom debates. A lot of what I’m saying is also echoed in portrayals of and discussions surrounding D/s dynamics, but I’m not addressing that as much for now.

#fandom #top bottom discourse #wow that's a tag #here it is the rant i promised #because i don't quite trust tumblr i feel compelled to add that this is ofc not some kind of attack on actual people who switch either #you do you man #live your best life #vox has opinions

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solarianvoidthearoace · 4 years ago

Text

Excerpt#3 from my JonGerry AU WiP

CN/TW: smoking mention, disclosure of finances, discussion of sleep-overs, relationship negotiations, explanation of heteronormativity and amatonormativity, gender coming-out (sort of?), fond insults/banter

Still, Gerry cringed a bit,

“I suppose I have to apologise for not telling you…?”, he winced,

“I mean you couldn’t have known and… looking back it does feel like sort of misleading you, I mean all you knew was that I work two jobs.” They buried his face into Jon’s chest. Instead of commenting, he simply patted their hair, holding Gerry close and letting him be dramatic for a minute.

“Well, that does explain your insistence to pay whenever we are out together”, Martin spoke up after a minute,

“I noticed you even occasionally snatched the bill when Jon or I mentioned inviting us others.” Gerry slowly looked up,

“Well, yes. I can’t imagine you floating in money. I grew up working in a bookshop after all and it only really build a financial buffer after I sold it all to collectors. And Jon mentioned his overtime going unpaid more often than not. Plus it’s just nice to know I can do that for you without having to make cuts on anything. Only thing I really want to cut on is smoking, but that’s an intervention for another day, yea?” They gave Jon a gentle squeeze around the waist. He was still reluctant to let them go but did move onto the armrest of the armchair instead.

Despite Gerry’s reluctance, the three of them did talk a bit more about his finances, something he had glossed over when clueing Jon in about his art career. After some more reassurances that they won’t see Gerry in a different light, they let the evening end. Seeing Martin off at Gerry’s doorstep was weird, in Jon’s opinion. But turning around and knowing he was with Gerry to stay had him almost glowing.

“Home is where the heart is”, Gerry smiled, gently cupping Jon’s chin,

“Seems like I finally get both in one place.” Blushing, Jon looked down,

“It’s not like…”, he suddenly thought better of it, biting his lip. A gentle brush of Gerry’s thumb against his bottom lip, light nudging of their fingers under his chin, had him look up again.

“Not like what, doll?” He relented with a sigh, his exhale ghosting over Gerry’s hand,

“It’s not like I never called you my home before.” A warm shiver ran down Gerry’s spine, making them wrap their free arm around Jon and pulling him in. Instead of a kiss, which would have been so easy with the way they still held his chin up, Gerry rested their foreheads together,

“Welcome Home, then.”

Gerry had been right, though. With Jon no longer having an apartment of his own, Martin spend the occasional afternoon at their now shared flat. He didn’t really mind, they weren’t exactly friends with Martin themself but the man was nice to spend time with, even shy as he still was around them.

Besides, due to Gerry’s admittedly haphazard working hours without any structure or obvious sense to them - something Jon had called him out on multiple times before moving in - he always had an excuse to leave Martin and Jon in favour of working on his art.

Which was the thing responsible for his discombobulated working and waking hours, mostly. Gerry could admit to themself, that the secondary job at the bar was mostly to keep a somewhat steady life rhythm while adhering to his own night owl inclinations.

Between Jon’s nine-to-five, the overtime he often threw in on top, and neither of them needing to cling together every hour of their free time, it was nice. Maybe a bit more companionable than what other people would consider a romantic relationship, but they always had been liberal and somewhat alternative when it came to their life choices.

Which all is rather winded to say Gerry didn’t care that Martin picked Jon up on a Saturday morning. It was Martin who seemed bothered by it.

“And it‘s really okay with you if Jon stays with me from time to time?”, he was still wringing his hands over it. Gerry shrugged, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms,

“Why shouldn’t it be? I’m the one he moved in with. Besides, it’s not like I ever was the type for heteronormative or amatonormative relationships in the first place.”

Martin’s brow furrowed, looking around in thought before his expression turned somewhat helpless,

“So, I know what heteronormative means, supposing every relationship ever has to imitate a hetero one with one partner needing to be feminine and the other masculine, clean-cut roles and divide into approximating that 40’s cliche of the obedient stay-at-home-wife.” He shuddered at the thought,

“But what’s amatonormative?“

Gerry pulled a face, lifting one hand to rub at his chin, elbow still resting where they had crossed his arms,

“Uh, m’kay, so…” He gestured, pulling a face in contemplation,

“It’s something asexual and aromantic people struggle most with, but basically it impacts anyone and everyone. It’s pretty much the belief that everyone needs exactly one monogamous romantic-sexual partnership as the end goal for their private life to count as fulfilled. So it does hurt anyone who doesn’t want to partner up for whatever reasons, as well.” They shrugged halfheartedly, waving his hands around a bit, before facepalming,

“Ugh, Jon is better explaining this, throwing in words like „sole focal point“ and „emotional hierarchy” and shit. Like, how it interplays with other relationships any one person has, society expecting them to prioritise their romantic partner with whom they obviously have to be sexually active, because society sucks.” They gave an exasperated eye-roll, huffing at the thought, before focusing back on Martin.

The man nodded slowly,

“I think I get it. So it also hurts anyone non-partnering, like you said, but also everyone non-monogamous, regardless whether the person is a-spec or allo. Huh, I have been participating in open or otherwise non-monogamous relationships for years and didn’t know we had that much in common with… I suppose primarily aromantic people.” He hummed a sort of affirmative noise, before blinking.

“It’s weird how many things impact a broad variety of people. Oh, that reminds me, how do you feel about gendered terms? I know I should have asked way sooner, but it honestly slipped my mind, I kind of just stuck with what Jon used for you. Like, which are okay?“ Standing more relaxed than earlier, their hands propped on the edge of the counter on either side of his hips, Gerry tilted his head. Some more of their hair spilling over that shoulder,

“I did already tell you I’m genderqueer, not a man and also not exactly trans-feminine. So as for how to refer to me, anything that’s fun”, they smirked, stroking the curtain of his hair back.

“I mostly go by what’s considered male terms, though. But among friends, as sparse as they are, I’d actually prefer everyone made an effort to remember I go by he/him as well as they/them pronouns. Even if I don’t exactly present that way, it is defining to me that I’m not actually a man. As opposed to you or Jon, who just doesn’t stick to gender connotations”, he couldn’t help his snort,

“Because where’s the fun in that anyway?”

Martin suddenly had a teasing glint in his eyes,

“So you’re Jon’s joyfriend?”, he smirked. Gerry raised a brow, fighting to hold back his own grin,

“Please, I’m always a joy to be around.” As he grinned back at Martin, there was a huff from the doorway,

“A significant bother is what you are”, Jon managed to get out halfway believably before softly smiling himself. Gerry’s expression changed, his eyebrow slowly raising while they gave Jon a sceptical once-over,

“Says the guy purposefully calling me Jared just to annoy me.” He scoffed, albeit smiling fondly,

“Love you too, Jon.“

“In my defense, I didn’t know of your name change then! I was just teasing because you were being a twerp.” The two of them were broken out of their bickering, before they really got going, when Martin let out a giddy squeal,

“You’re adorable!” After a short pause, Gerry faked an exasperated huff,

“There you go again, dipshit, ruining my reputation.” He had barely finished before he doubled over in giggles, which had Jon snicker as well. Calming down, they exchanged a fond look. The silence in the kitchen stretched, before Gerry pushed themself off the counter,

“Alright”, he gestured at shooing the other two out of the kitchen,

“Get going. I was promised a quiet Saturday. Take care, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, don’t don’t anything stupid, either, and remember your bedtime. Now shoo!”

It still wasn’t often that Jon spend the night at Martin’s, but occasionally Gerry had his bed all to themself for one night at a time again. But somehow word about Jon’s changed living situation got out. Which in turn lead to his colleagues asking about the “new guy” he had moved in with while still dating their common former colleague Martin. It took Gerry some days to figure out the leak but that didn’t exactly make it better.

Sasha, Gertrude’s assistant and second-in-command, had caught onto someone having moved in with Gerry, connecting the dots with their recently resurfaced boyfriend. In turn, Sasha happened to know a snitch by the name Timothy Stoker, who decided to spike the gossip at Jon’s work with this new knowledge. Gerry finally resigned himself to having to plan a small house warming party, when Daisy, his barkeeper colleague, asked about it.

It was quite frankly beyond them, how everyone from his and Jon’s social circles seamed to know one another all of a sudden. In hopes of at least inconveniencing some people, he talked to Jon about picking a date for the party at random.

Didn’t work out. Miraculously everyone had time, a ride, and was up to snoop into their respective acquaintance’s or colleague’s private living situation.

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five-wow · 5 years ago

Note

Feel free to talk a lot about your theory of how McDanno was always stronger when there was heteronormativity nearby so that it was safe, and how that plays into the finale!

Ooh, thank you! That is an interesting question, and not one I had related directly to the finale before, though it certainly works on all kinds of levels, so I will take that “talk a lot” very literally and just ramble a bit.

Honestly, the most obvious way I think this comes into play is outside of the story, where the entire two-part finale (I’m including 10.21 here, since they were originally going to be aired as one) was about Steve and Danny and how important they are to each other and how Steve would probably have found a way to literally turn the entire island upside down and water torture gravity into dropping Danny into his arms if Danny’s disappearance had gone on for long enough, and then Catherine showed up in the last five minutes after having been mentioned like, twice, briefly, in the very last episode of this 22-episode season. The messaging felt very much as if “Steve loves Danny!” was being shouted at us on a loop and then there was a single “but he’s a HETEROSEXUAL man who is NOT GAY because he is HETEROSEXUAL” tacked onto the end in the form of a character showing up in a way that really made no sense for anyone, least of all her, which conveniently helped viewers dispell any thoughts about Steve maybe, y’know, wanting to be with Danny in more than one way. Catherine was not there for herself - she was there for Steve’s happy end, which needed to include a hetero love interest, because that is what a happy end is, right? The way they made her return, she was less of a character making a decision and more of a prop thrown at Steve’s character that was supposed to make us think “ah yes, now he can be happy again!” even though it went very much counter against what the entire season had been making us think a happy end for him would look like.

(Sidenote, this is also (part of) why it makes me very sad to see Catherine hate show up in people’s responses to the finale - I get that emotions run high and it’s easy to blame her for things, but she really, really, really isn’t at fault. As much as this ending wasn’t fair to Steve or Danny, imo it was also extremely unfair to Catherine. (Also, I don’t expect many people who ship Steve/Cath to end up reading this, but if anyone does, I just want to add that that’s super valid and if you did like the ending because your ship was given a very obvious and maybe unexpected chance, I get that and I’m happy for you! I personally don’t think it was a good move for any of the characters with the way it was executed, but I also deeply empathize with rooting for your ship and taking what you get, my gosh.))

(ANOTHER sidenote, I want to clarify that I don’t think the entire reason for the writers making Cath show up is that there was too much emotion between Steve and Danny in 10.21 and 10.22. It was an ending that didn’t rely on the logic of the story, but on viewers’ learned bias saying that any man + any woman = happy, romantic end. There’s obviously a lot more there, but it also happens to playvery nicely into the formula of Steve and Danny getting A Moment (or even Moments, plural) and then being shielded from the shadows of gay doubts by throwing in something sufficiently straight-looking.)

In story, though? In story this would also be a Whole Thing that fits depressingly well. I do think it’s fair to note that Steve didn’t really seem to have any part in his decision to fly off with Catherine - she showed up, orchestrated by other parties, and then he took her hand, but he didn’t ask her to come. That’s something, I guess! At the same time, he did kind of… make the choice to very literally run away from where Danny is after this whole Emotional Journey they (and Steve especially) went on. Steve’s been feeling off, like this comfortable spot he carved for himself on the islands wasn’t fitting anymore, and Danny was very obviously very worried and was immediately designated the unofficial spokesperson for the whole thing, because duh, everyone knows how ridiculously close they are. Then Danny got kidnapped (somewhat because of how much Steve cares for him, even though deeper down it’s mostly Doris’s fault, but obviously Steve would take on that guilt because it was just lying around - free real estate!) and Steve lost his mind and held Danny’s hand and Danny didn’t respond negatively to that at all, and they had some lovely moments. Then Steve decides he still needs to get away and up and leaves, so very literally leaving Danny behind. Then Cath shows up, unexpectedly, and lo and behold, Steve’s (former) Great Romance! The one that got away, as he just told Cole (so the audience would feel like this wasn’t out of the blue)! The woman he wanted to marry at some point and that he hasn’t seen in a year and a half (to the best of our knowledge) and the absolute perfect convincingly straight antidote to Steve’s emotional turmoil related to his male BFF/partner/dude he’s kinda married to and keeps telling how much he loves him. Once on the plane, Danny is not even there anymore and with the exception of Catherine herself there’s literally no one Steve knows present who could be judging him, but being a little ambiguously romantic with Cath might settle some of his own internal fears about where things with Danny were (once again) headed, so he takes Cath’s hand. It’s easy, safe, straight. All very comforting things.

And I just. The HAND HOLDING is my favorite part of the finale, honestly, because it’s so blatant. Steve holds Danny’s hand at Danny’s bedside, teary and praying to a literal God to make sure Danny is okay, and then Danny makes light of it by asking why Steve let go. Are they fighting now, Danny asks? That implies holding hands is the normal state for them and not holding hands is Bad, even though two grown men holding hands is a very loaded thing in much of western culture and we’ve never seen them do it before because they’re very touchy with each other but in very specific ways, bound to very specific rules, and random hand holding is distinctly not okay under those strict social guidelines. And then. AND THEN. We close the episode with Steve offering Catherine his hand and Catherine taking it and Steve turning to look out the window and smiling vaguely, and the parallel kind of smacks you in the face and I find it both very funny and very sad and wonder if the writers even realized it at all, or whether maybe it was entirely intentional and meant as a nice nod to McDanno shippers because we were never going to get canon McDanno but at least this way we had, I guess, Steve’s implied hetero endgame romance play out in a way that also pretty literally happened with Danny earlier in the same episode, meaning that they’re at least sort of put on an equal footing? (Best way to interpret this: Steve is bi. It’s canon now.)

ANYWAY. Yes. I feel like this maybe veered off-topic, but I suppose the point is that Steve was allowed to hold Danny’s hand, but we had to be reassured he’d also want to hold Catherine’s, and Steve got to tell Danny he loves him and tear the island apart to get to him and ask God to take him instead of Danny and talk with Danny about how they both dream of a future in which they’re still side by side as old men while also currently living with Danny and both being single, but he had to then leave with Catherine so we would know that two single guys who live together and exchange I love yous while planning to grow old together aren’t actually [lowers voice to a hushed whisper] gay.

HOO! What a relief. I was really worried there for a second, guys.

(Also consider: all of that happens with Danny and it’s just guys being guys, just buddies being homies, just straight dudes being hetero, and then Steve takes Cath’s hand and maybe smiles a little and we’re supposed to infer it’s an epic romance. It’s fascinating to me how little straight you need to sprinkle in to completely even out the scales for most viewers, or even make them lean way in favor of “obviously he’s straight, why would you even think anything else, lol”.)

#anon #ask #mcdanno #finale #10.22 #10.21 #meta #*#i feel a need to add i really didn't dislike the finale as a whole and most of it was very cool #i just have some very wordy thoughts #(hashtag catherine rollins deserved better 2k20)

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fuzziekins · 5 years ago

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I would like to ask you all of the pride questions from that one post.

Dammit Steve XD

Gender and pronouns? Female and she/her are fine, as far as i know i’m cis. i don’t care if you call me dude, though. Dude can be anyone.

Romantic orientation? i use demi-whatromantic, with demiromantic as the microlabel. Most people know whatromantic as quoiromantic or quoi. i think what/quoi is typically known as a microlabel, but i relate to that more and feel it describes me more compared to demi which is why i focus more on that aspect.

Sexual orientation? In lamest terms? Asexual. In my terms? Stereotypical ace. In specific terms? S-x repulsed asexual.

Past labels you’ve used? i didn’t use anything before discovering asexuality because naive and oblivious, as far as i know. Before demi-whatromantic i briefly used demiromantic as a placeholder even though that didn’t totally feel right on its own.

How long have you been using your current labels? Asexual since late October 2017 and officially, or i guess out, since February 2018. Demi-whatromantic i think has been for maybe 6ish months now?

What made you pick your name? i had no say in my name lol. I haven’t changed it at all

What names have you gone by previously? Unless nicknames count for anything, just my regular boring name.

What names have you considered using? i’ve only ever considered using other names for me as a Pokemon trainer in the games which is obviously not the same. But, for the record, every time i start a game using the male trainer i’d use the name Larry.

Do you like your flag(s)? i don’t focus on the demiromantic flag as much, only because i feel less of the connection to compared to ace and what. The asexual flag has definitely given me a new appreciation for purple, but as a former art student i’ve been taught that black is typically the absence or color and white encompasses all the colors. so i do wish the ace flag had more colors just so i can stop referring to purple as the “only” color. i definitely appreciate and like the look of the whatromantic flag, but i don’t think as many people are aware of what it looks like or that it even exists. i especially love the shade of blue used in it.

Favorite flag(s) visually? Gonna be unoriginal and say the gay pride flag just because i love rainbows.

Favorite colors? Blue has always been a favorite of mine, and i used to gravitate mostly towards lighter shades of purple but now i just include purple in general.

Favorite animals? Puppies, kitties, bunnies, hamsters, monkeys, ponies.... Actually, probably best just to say adorable fluffy animals.

Favorite things about being LGBT+? i like having an explanation for being me. i don’t look my age to begin with and i definitely don’t act like it. So people assuming there’s something wrong with me mentally because of it, or wanting to avoid me in general.... i know people have their feelings about stereotypes and a lot of times it is negative, but for me knowing that a stereotypical ace basically describes who i am, it feels reassuring. And i like knowing that i don’t have to act or think or do completely of what’s expected of me because in a heteronormative world, being LGBT+ completely flips that around. Even if to me, it doesn’t always feel like i have a place because i don’t know many queer people and i don’t get involved in things in general, somewhere in my mind i know that there’s a place for me.

Are you dysphoric? Not that i know of.

Are you religious? Nope. i don’t fast, i don’t keep kosher, i don’t go to temple, i never went to Hebrew school.... But it doesn’t make me any less connected to my religion and, as selfish as it sounds, i still wanna make a point of it and remind people, hey us Jews exist, too!

Are you questioning your identity? Some parts of it i do question sometimes, mostly in terms of aesthetic attraction. But i fluctuate with including that attraction in my identity. And i do question how much, if at all it does or could play a part in my romantic attraction.

Are you in a relationship? Haha, funny. Nope.

Are you out of the closet IRL? For the most part, yes. It’s primarily in terms of saying i’m asexual or just queer, but part of that depends who i’m talking to, if or when it comes up in conversation, and how comfortable i feel talking to people about it.

Is your family supportive? i honestly don’t know if my extended family knows, even though i do post pride related things on my Instagram which some of them do follow and i have posted about it there. But, as annoyed as my mom can get with my ace jokes or comments sometimes, she accepts me for who i am and supports me, and has, probably before even knowing the term asexual existed, had an assumption a typical relationship happening for me was slim. And i know without a doubt that if my dad was still around he would definitely be supportive of me and not cared what i identified as, what i looked like, who i liked or didn’t like, or anything like that.

Favorite LGBT+ celebrity or historical figure? Neil Patrick Harris is definitely one of them, and i think another favorite is probably Demi Lovato.

Favorite LGBT+ couple IRL? Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. i love NPH and the family that he and David have are just the most precious things ever! Plus the way they go all out for Halloween every year? HELL. YES.

Favorite LGBT+ canon character? First one that comes to mind is Asami from Legend of Korra. Because Asami. Another one is Cyrus Goodman from Andi Mack. i loved watching his journey on the show and also knowing that there are kids who were watching Disney Channel that could not only relate to and look up to him as a queer character but also as a queer Jewish character. Plus he was just the most precious character and i just wanted to hug him!

Favorite LGBT+ canon fictional couple? Korra and Asami from Legend of Korra; Stef and Lena from The Fosters; Kat and Adena from The Bold Type.

Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+? Elsa and Honeymaren from Frozen 2. Don’t get me started, i will NEVER shut up. I’m going down with that ship.

Some LGBT+ pairings you ship? i know i already said Kat and Adena from the Bold Type. As of the current season they are - spoiler - not together and have not been done the justice to them as characters or their relationship. I continue to ship them, i love the chemistry the actors always have between them and how believable it is for their characters, and i’m just anxiously waiting for the day when they can hopefully FINALLY get back together.

Any celebrity crushes? If by crushes you mean celebrities i admire, look up to, think are cute, and would probably watch almost any show or movie if they were in it? Zendaya. The same has also applied to Corbin Bleu.

Any fictional crushes? As long as the same rule applies to the previous question and also includes being obsessed yet completely in control of that obsession and that character is also a muse for creativity? Elsa.

A trope you dislike about your identity? Probably that it’s a phase or i just haven’t met the right person yet. It took me probably too long to know let alone even understand why i didn’t think so much of romance or relationships and why i was never looking for or really wanting an actual relationship. For the most part, that’s been my whole life so to say my whole life is just some kind of phase or imply that i’m living it wrong? Just. No.

A trope about your identity that applies to you? Maybe this falls more under the stereotypical asexual label, but that aces can be very childlike. i’ve always been a kid at heart, i never really acted like my age, and yeah i can be really naive or clueless about a lot of things.

Something you wish people understood about your identity? Probably just that people understood it’s an actual identity. It’s not a choice, it’s not a phase. It’s not a label someone created just to be able to fit in somewhere or for sh-ts and giggles. It’s an actual, legitimate, real identity.

Something you dislike about being LGBT+? I feel like i can’t fully comment on it because sometimes i don’t fully feel LGBT+. Not having more than a couple of friends who identify as queer, not actively getting involved in the community or really wanting to be around people in general...i can only say what i dislike based on what i’ve seen online. And what i don’t like is that the LGBT+ community is supposed to be that - a community. It’s supposed to be a place where we can all relate to each other somehow, support each other and rely on each other. It’s supposed to be a place where, regardless of what label or how many labels we use, if we’re not straight it’s our place. We belong. But people still find a way to want to kick people out or treat people badly just because they don’t understand or agree on the label. Or maybe they don’t like or understand why someone chose a certain label or doesn’t have one at all or just uses queer. People still find a way to exclude and ignore and that’s not fair at all.

If you’re not cis, do you want HRT and/or surgery?

If you’re not straight, who was your first same-gender crush? Are we still going by either of my crush definitions from earlier....?

Do you align with any gay subcategories? (Butch/femme, bear/twink, etc.) Not that i know of. I don’t think i even know a lot, or maybe any of the subcategories at all besides those mentioned.

Do you have any LGBT+ idols? Elton John is the one that comes to mind. Knowing the life he had, the addictions he struggled with and ultimately overcame, becoming an activist and philanthropist especially for HIV/AIDS, growing up on his music... He dealt with a lot and has gone through so much but he’s come out so much stronger and has not only had a successful career but has also tried to do his part to help others for a cause that he believes in.

Do you own pride merch? Would you like to? A pride hat, 2 pride scarves, a few pride pins, an asexual lanyard.... i would definitely like to have a t-shirt with an ace pun at it at some point, though.

Do you have a type in partners? Probably water. Or were you talking about actual human partners and not Pokemon partners in the games?

Do you have a type in friends? i actually don’t think i chose any of my friends. As far as i can think of, all of the friends i do have came into my life kind of by accident or by chance and they’re the ones who have stuck around. i do think most of my friends though have senses of humors and are loyal, although the closest ones are definitely WAY more levelheaded than i am! XD

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norwegianravenwood · 6 years ago

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I’m going to candid about my thoughts on McLennon once and for all.

*This is the edited version, the other one was too wordy, so I updated it to make it simpler and to the point.

Disclaimer: I’ve read all evidence of McLennon and find everything to be conspiracy theories with loose ends. Most evidence relies on erasing, or twisting some Beatles history to better fit the McLennon narrative. This is not about disproving it, this is my issue with the problematic behaviors McLennon shippers exhibit.

1. FORCING A SEXUALITY ON PAUL. If someone says something about their sexuality, you should believe them. If I tell you I’m a bisexual woman, even though I prefer women, and usually only date women, you should believe me because it’s called respect. The same goes for someone who doesn’t claim a certain sexual identity. Paul has NEVER said he’s bisexual, and McLennons insist that he is. If you say he isn’t, they cry BIERASURE, which I realized from my former edit. Paul has stated he is comfortable with his sexuality and has never been with a man. Now he is in his 70s and if he is bisexual, he obviously doesn’t want any of us to know about it. Until then, we have to respect what HE SAYS, because that’s just what respectful human beings do.

`2. HETERONORMATIVE STEREOTYPES. McLennons do this more than any other fandom I’ve seen. Paul can act in a more feminine way, and I see posts about Paul acting like a ‘woman’. He can display effeminate behaviors and I see captions with “immovable heterosexuality” written under them, in other words claiming he isn’t heterosexual. This is a problem. Men are allowed to be effeminate. Just like gay men are allowed to be masculine presenting. The way someone SITS, WALKS, OR BEHAVES has NOTHING to do with their sexual orientation. This is why we have toxic masculinity, because the moment a straight man has feminine qualities, or at least what people believe to be feminine qualities, they are labeled as gay or bisexual. Paul could be silly in a photo, nothing feminine about his behavior, and I still see the same captions. So men can’t be playful? Only if they are Queer? Yeah, okay I believe that. Paul is just being himself. Mannerisms have nothing to do with sexual orientation. This is a stereotype that needs to die in the garbage where it belongs.

3. DISRESECT TO LINDA. People can pretend that they don’t do this. I don’t see it as much on Tumblr (doesn’t mean I haven’t see a few on here), but I have seen it in Youtube comments under Paul/Linda videos. These are McLennons making these comments, and it’s very disrespectful to Paul and the relationship he had with Linda. Honestly, why would anyone care about McLennon when you have a relationship like Paul and Linda you can talk about? A real relationship that actually happened.

4. SEXUALIZATION OF MALE FRIENDSHIPS AND THE FETISHIZING OF GAY RELATIONSHIPS. Men just can’t be close friends without girls (yes mostly straight girls) on the Internet wishing they were more? Why? Someone just tell me WHY? Again, this doesn’t help our problem with toxic masculinity at all. Straight girls for some reason love gay male relationships, and they ship every attractive male friendship together in fiction, so why not do it with real men from the 1960’s. Yeah, that’s perfectly okay. It’s a fetish; it’s not LGBTQ+ representation or support. Also in the majority of these ships, the females are usually cast aside as a ‘problem’ to their m/m ship. Not saying all McLennon shippers are straight girls, but a vast majority of them are and I just don’t understand what you’re getting out of it? It’s like when straight men fetishize Lesbians, it’s gross. This ties in with my next argument.

5. FANFICTION AND FANART. Just stop writing smutty fanfiction about real people and stop drawing sexual pictures of them too. Why are you doing this? Can I say fetishizing yet again? Because that’s what it is. They are real people, not your go to p*rn. This doesn’t just apply to the straight girls, I don’t care what you’re sexual orientation is, they aren’t fictional characters, they are REAL people. AND this brings me to my final point.

6. THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE. Shipping real people is just a big NO for me and for a lot of other people. It’s just weird and creepy. Also, why would you ship Paul with his deceased bestfriend anyway? Don’t you have something better to do in the Beatles fandom? Like enjoy their music?

TL;DR: McLennons force a sexuality on Paul, force heteronormative standards on him, disrespect Linda, sexualize male friendships, fetishize gay relationships, ship real people, and draw and write smut about them. The end.

#mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney #the beatles #antimclennon #macca #lennon-mccartney

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love-takes-work · 6 years ago

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Steven Universe Podcast Volume 3: Episode 5: Reunited

This is Volume 3, Episode 5 of the official Steven Universe podcast, looking at the episode "Reunited," including input from Rebecca Sugar and Ian Jones-Quartey.

The official description:

Steven Universe creator Rebecca Sugar and former Executive Producer Ian Jones-Quartey return to provide a detailed look at the creation and execution of "Reunited." Rebecca reveals her original idea for the wedding, the inspiration she drew from old movies like "Fiddler On The Roof" and "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum," and why it was so important for her to get "Reunited" made. Rebecca and Ian also discuss the different fighting styles and abilities of the Diamonds, everybody's wedding outfits, Ronaldo's armor and sword, the Cluster, and how the entire Steven Universe series is so informed by "The Wizard Of Oz!"

This, as usual, is bit long so I’ll do my bullet points of interest, with longer descriptions after the jump.

Highlights:

The episode was not originally meant to open with a song. They added the opening number much later to establish plot elements that needed to be fresh in our minds and also set the stage for how Steven was feeling.

They knew the Cluster arc would culminate in arm wrestling way back when they first invented the Cluster arc.

Musical influences for the opening number and the episode itself included For Me and My Gal, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and Fiddler on the Roof.

The Cluster manifesting as an arm while the rest of it stays unformed to spare the Earth is described as "very uncomfortable" for the gestalt creature.

Katie Mitroff is credited for much of the opening song sequence, including wedding outfit design, with help from Joe Johnston.

Garnet's wedding outfit was originally conceived as being torn for the battle, but the design they used turned out perfect for showing the mixture of garments AND working well for fighting.

Ronaldo, seen wearing armor and talking to Bismuth at the wedding, is described by Ian as mansplaining armor to Bismuth.

Early concepts of the Ruby and Sapphire wedding started with Garnet actually marrying herself, in an episode known as "If You Love Yourself So Much."

Diamonds in combat were mostly handled by storyboarder Miki Brewster.

Blue's ability to incapacitate others with her sadness was known early on, and Lapis's reaction was an obvious element they intended to include.

Rebecca thinks the Wizard of Oz and Sleeping Beauty are the most commonly cited films in their writers' room, with a little bit of Cinderella for aesthetic.

Blue Diamond getting a house dropped on her is a Wizard of Oz reference.

Lapis being the one to drop the barn on Blue was a satisfying confrontation, as Blue is described as a parent who abandoned her.

Violence following a wedding was another nod to Fiddler, but it was important to Rebecca that the wedding itself be completed.

The Diamonds' invasion could not have happened any sooner or they would not have faced a united, prepared team of Crystal Gems. They now know what they're fighting for.

It's so important to show that communication and compassion for others leads to strength. The show often depicts the best Fusions as being healthy relationships, and Rebecca thinks spending time and effort on cultivating these relationships--and on yourself!--will make you stronger in the next thing you do.

Ruby and Sapphire's wedding was an important story type Rebecca and Ian felt their characters deserved to have. They were created as a classic cartoon couple who managed to get various romantic story types assigned to them throughout the show; Rebecca was determined to champion this mission to let them have this.

Ruby and Sapphire's introduction in "Jailbreak" was met with a decision-maker slapping a specific prohibition on them being a romantic couple. Rebecca had to argue, "But they ARE."

It's so incredibly vital that couples like Ruby and Sapphire are not considered more adult than typical couples in G-rated content.

Rebecca is grateful and relieved that the wedding has finally aired and they got to do this, but she stresses that this is only one example amidst a hundred years of weddings and couples that communicate an exclusively heteronormative message. There's still so much to do for LGBTQ kids to help them understand they DO belong in a "family-friendly" world.

Though much of the discussion for representation has been about couples, they emphasize they're not just talking about couples here or pushing the idea that everyone's dream should be getting married. It's just that if you do want to marry someone, there is a future for someone who imagines being happy in a non-heteronormative relationship.

The show is designed to give kids tools to handle their own feelings.

Rebecca is excited to include Ruby and Sapphire as a couple that decided to get married after being together a VERY long time. Couples need to talk and know each other instead of jumping into something like marriage.

What's next on Steven Universe? An exploration of what it means for these rebel Gems to be on Homeworld, with Steven "in the palace," and the upcoming episodes are "huge."

The detailed summary is below!

[Archive of Steven Universe Podcast Summaries]

We open by discussing the opening of the episode: How did they come to the conclusion that they wanted to open with a song? Rebecca explains that the song was a late addition; originally they were just going to open on Steven banging on a vending machine trying to get some Chaaaaps out (which would echo what happened later when the Diamonds banged on the Earth to get the Cluster out!), but they wanted to set the scene with something that would tie together all the elements necessary to understand the upcoming action, as well as establish what Steven was thinking about and how he felt right then. Music is such a great vehicle to cover emotional complexities, so it made sense to do that with a song.

This episode was a VERY long time in the making, and they had the ideas for the arm wrestling with the Cluster back when they first started planning the Cluster arc. They had to make sure we had seen the Diamonds' arm ships early on so this scene could happen. The song really helped not only check in with Steven and his "manic need for positivity" but also became a great device for showing us where each major character's mind is as we go into this. It could have just been a couple scenes of talking, but the song works so much better.

McKenzie prompts her guests to discuss musical influences for "For Just One Day Let's Only Think About Love." Rebecca says she was paying a lot of attention to old Judy Garland musicals, so she pulled from a song called "For Me and My Gal" which is wedding-themed (she sings a few lines from it), and she really liked how in these kinds of old musicals they'd have people singing and then talking. It's really hard to coordinate, she says, but Ian says Rebecca has always wanted to collaborate with Aivi and Surasshu to do a big Broadway song like this. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum was another musical that was a big influence on the switch-between-singing-and-monologuing technique. Fiddler on the Roof influenced the structure of the episode too, since there's a scene where a wedding leads directly to the significant violence of the film.

The Cluster was suddenly brought into this episode after not being mentioned for a while, and Rebecca describes this as being partially the result of "a lot of moving parts." They knew how they wanted it to work, but it was just a matter of putting the pieces together. Steven befriending the Cluster was discussed in a writers' meeting that happened in 2014 or 2015. It was necessary for Steven to befriend the Cluster so it could help him, but it could never actually emerge without destroying the Earth, so that arm that emerges is obviously only a small part of it that almost seems like the Earth itself is fighting back. The arm can't just stay there chilling, though, because the Cluster is uncomfortable interacting that way with only a piece of itself formed.

Now into discussing the characters' wedding outfits, Rebecca credits Katie Mitroff for boarding a lot of the song sequences, as well as Joe Johnston for design. Some of the outfits were planned long ago, like Pearl revisiting her tux, but new outfits included Amethyst's "semi-casual suit" and Peridot's dress. Garnet's outfit went through many iterations, including some ideas to have her fighting with a torn wedding dress. (Gem clothing doesn't really tear exactly, though. Ian and Rebecca suggested the torn bit would have turned into sparkles?) Rebecca really loved the asymmetrical dress situation that was also "born out of necessity" that allowed Garnet's different clothing elements to show and also worked well as a battle outfit.

Ian brings up Ronaldo wearing his armor at the wedding, which Rebecca thinks she might have come up with but wasn't sure. It's all "stuff that happens in the room." Regarding the scene where Bismuth and Ronaldo are standing there in armor, Ian describes it as Ronaldo "mansplaining to Bismuth what armor is." In discussing Ronaldo and his use of the sword he got at DelmarvaCon, they remember that the armor's first appearance in "Keep Beach City Weird" was originally meant to include a bizarre extending baton that he would smack Steven with, but it was flagged as too violent. Ronaldo's "weapon" then became a potato. Ian jokingly says they've got to bring the potato weapons back. Rebecca's like "no, we don't need to do that."

Next, McKenzie wants to know how long Rebecca's been planning Ruby and Sapphire's wedding outfits, since we've now seen concept sketches from 2015 on her Instagram. She remembers drawing it for the first time in probably 2014, and she started pitching the wedding either late 2015 or early 2016. Originally, the concept was to have Garnet marrying herself in an episode called "If You Love Yourself So Much." Conceived as a simpler, self-contained episode, it contained cool images like Garnet dancing with herself and putting rings on her own fingers. They got to use some of that briefly at the reception. This idea didn't get through, but later when she started trying to get a wedding episode, she incorporated the clothing designs we can see from those early sketches, modified later to include the flowers Ruby was wearing in her hair. (Rebecca pulled the idea for those specific flowers from a friend's wedding.)

The next portion of the podcast discusses that epic Diamond battle. Rebecca was really excited to have Miki Brewster do her thing on this fight. The orbs and lasers that Blue generated were essentially invented by Miki, but the sadness wave was an older invention first shown in "The Trial." Blue's ability to incapacitate other Gems with her debilitating sadness in a battle was a really early development. As soon as they knew Blue could do this, they immediately thought of how Lapis would be affected by it and knew they would use it.

Rebecca then brings up the Wizard of Oz and how it directly inspired some elements of Steven Universe. That movie is absolutely a sci-fi/fantasy story. Rebecca feels that the Wizard of Oz and Sleeping Beauty are the two films that get brought up the most in the writers' discussions, with a little of Cinderella for aesthetic. Dropping a house--well, the barn--on Blue was a direct callback to the Wizard of Oz. Torturing the characters, as Ian says, was necessary to get Lapis to a place where she would take the barn in the first place, though Rebecca clarifies that there was nothing contrived about how Lapis acted; it all made sense with her character arc.

Lapis being an original member of Blue's court is mentioned, though they say they don't get to dig into that history, but Rebecca compares Blue to a parent who abandoned Lapis. Having her get to confront Blue and drop a house on her was cathartic. The Diamonds don't take care of the Gems they make. It's part of the problem with their entire system according to Rebecca. Lapis struggled to "take a side," being that she felt manipulated by everyone; now that she's begun to make choices, she can have some control over her life. Lapis always worries she'll do something horrible with power if she has it.

Garnet has a history with Blue too, they point out; Garnet has lots of fear and anger toward Blue, so it was nice to have her standing-up-to-Blue moment tied into Lapis's. This whole arc, from Lapis to Garnet, was about characters making choices for their own reasons. Garnet was ready to stand up to Blue now that she is 100% solid in who she is and why she is together.

McKenzie then asks Rebecca and Ian to discuss their motivation for having the Diamonds appear on the day of Garnet's wedding. Rebecca again cites Fiddler on the Roof and they mention how classic it is to have a wedding and then a fight. It was very important to Rebecca that the wedding itself not be interrupted. It was just the reception after.

(Chronicler's note: I also grew up watching the movie of this musical, and if you haven't seen it, the wedding has the main character's eldest daughter marrying the poor tailor she was in love with, versus the wealthy butcher she was supposed to marry. In the culture of the movie, the Jewish fathers generally chose husbands for their daughters (often through a matchmaker), and Tevye thought marrying Tzeitel off to an old rich butcher was assuring her a secure and rich life. Instead, she was in love with a tailor, and would have been unhappy marrying the butcher. When she begged to wed her love instead, Tevye found himself challenging tradition and questioning his own heart for his daughter's happiness, so this wedding was about new and old finding balance. And then the reception is crashed by the army intent on demonstrating their power and presence. It kinda wrecks the mood.)

The Crystal Gems are able to do what they're doing in this fight because they have recently been reunited in a powerful way by the recent events, and Rebecca brings up the important points Bismuth raised: what do the Crystal Gems stand for NOW, now that we know they were founded on something that isn't appropriate to fight for anymore? Who are they as a team? They have to rally behind Steven, and he has to be comfortable deciding the direction of that, along with Garnet who is now back to herself and has recently gone through some of the same emotional stuff. The Crystal Gems know they can trust each other, no matter what they were originally founded on. They could not have fought the Diamonds cohesively before they went through all this together.

Ian says many concepts they work into the show start with an idea or an image, and they figure out how to get it into the show in a fun way. Rebecca feels they must pull it together with themes about relationships, communication, growth, and emotional stability--and that these lead to strength. Using Fusions to explore this is ideal because they're relationships AND they're characters. Strong, healthy relationships make really excellent Fusions who can accomplish great things. Time devoted to cultivating these relationships and taking care of yourself and your community will lead to strength in your further actions.

In the last leg of the podcast discussion, McKenzie wants to talk about the wedding, and they begin discussing the struggle to actually air this wedding at all. As mentioned earlier, Garnet's marriage to herself was rejected; they wouldn't let it through at all. So Rebecca wanted to find another way to approach it, and describes their approach to their new concepts as being pretty similar to the conversations they had with decision-makers over other controversial episodes leading up to it.

Ruby and Sapphire needed to have every style of love story. "Jailbreak" introduced the characters, and immediately a conversation was born: why do we have this, who are they and why do they need to be what they are to each other, what's the context, etc. Every time these characters surfaced, Rebecca had to explain why she thought they should be able to show what they were showing. "The Answer" was the fairy tale. "Hit the Diamond" was the romantic comedy. "Keystone Motel" was the couple fight and reconciliation. What couple who's been through these doesn't get to have a wedding episode? It's typical endgame.

Ruby and Sapphire are designed to be very typical as a couple, with their fire-and-ice star-crossed lovers vibe; it was important for them to get to do all the things every other couple like them got to do, and there was NO reason they shouldn't get to do it unless the decision-makers were making a special exception for them. Rebecca actually got specifically told that Ruby and Sapphire CANNOT be in a romantic relationship, as soon as she introduced them. She responded, "But they ARE." There's even a song about it celebrating their introduction.

Rebecca remembers a Valentine's Day post of some kind by Cartoon Network finally listing Ruby and Sapphire as one of their couples, and she almost broke into tears. She wasn't allowed to talk about their relationship at the time, and it meant so much to her to be able to start doing that--at the time, she wasn't able to talk about the characters' relationship OR herself being bisexual, but she knew she should be able to tell these stories to children and that there was nothing indecent about them.

She remembers that when she was directly told Ruby and Sapphire's relationship IS NOT OKAY, she remembered being indirectly told the same thing throughout her childhood. She finally saw it was true, this must not be okay, and she felt how harmful that was to her personally. And she and Ian knew they could not let the next generation suffer that harm. They had to know it IS okay. Rebecca says some of the issue comes with the show being aired in other countries, and in those cases the dialogue is sometimes changed in translation. There are also issues with their show being put in G-rated time slots, even though Steven Universe is NOT a G show. But G shows are always full of love, innocent kisses, marriage! There's nothing more wholesome than that and there's no reason Ruby and Sapphire shouldn't have that. Their love is not "inherently more adult" than what kids get to see from more traditional couples.

If you've never even SEEN a couple like Ruby and Sapphire in a G-rated show, you don't even know what it can look like, and Rebecca felt this lack had become an emergency for today's children. You learn and internalize these messages as a child. This harm mustn't be done to these kids; they will learn that there's something different and not-okay about that kind of love, and even if it seems okay in adult shows that they can seek out, they'll have to unlearn and heal instead of just not being damaged by it in the first place. Ian thinks kids can't learn that anything could be wrong with Ruby and Sapphire unless someone else told them it was wrong, so with children you're free to present the world as if you don't expect anyone to object to it. Then, they'll follow suit.

Rebecca is so grateful and relieved that the wedding finally aired and "we made it." But it's just the beginning--one drop in the bucket that's otherwise filled with heteronormative programming. There's still so much to do for LGBTQ kids to help them understand they DO belong in a "family-friendly" world. Feeling that lack so deeply, knowing there's something different about yourself--there is no way to communicate fully how this knowledge drilled into you as a child can corrupt you into fearing yourself and your own feelings. The exciting feelings of liking someone become terrifying, and you don't fully function as a person.

Rebecca also emphasizes that she's not fully focused on "couples" here. She wants the show to give kids tools to handle their anxieties and battle the challenges the outside world puts on them. She's beyond happy that the wedding has done what it was supposed to do, but there's still so much to do that she feels responsible for doing. Ian comments that it's not like anything has been "solved." Kids need to feel that happy dreams are in reach for someone like them. Rebecca doesn't want kids to get these ideas from Disney weddings that getting married is the primary goal and vehicle to happiness, but they need the freedom to imagine their future with a partner they can have happily ever after with; they should be allowed to be included in the option to have that dream.

In discussing fan reactions, Rebecca points out that they deserved to have a kiss like this twenty years ago. She describes the satisfaction of the wedding as bittersweet--it's not enough. She got to talk to a very young fan about Garnet recently in San Diego--this kid just saw Garnet as Garnet, and loved her and her relationship, but getting to have this was not a long time coming for him the way it is for Rebecca herself and older fans. It's just what it is and there's nothing weird about it for that young fan.

Rebecca also emphasizes that the wedding was a cool chance to bring a couple into marriage after they'd been together for a REALLY LONG TIME. Their choice to get married is very informed, contrasted with some cute cartoon weddings where characters are already in love after they've known each other for a few minutes. Rebecca thinks it would've been cool if Snow White got some time to talk to the Prince about whether they have any compatibility beyond their initial chemsistry. Ruby and Sapphire reflected in the wedding vows saying they are making a decision to change their lives individually and together. They will put work into their relationship, and that's what will increase their strength.

And McKenzie's last question is what do fans have to look forward to next? Rebecca is reluctant to talk about what's next, though she points out that Steven is "in the palace now." Ian thinks the trial they've been through has now led to them getting tested in a new way. Being on Homeworld now, what is that going to mean to each of these Gems who worked hard to get away from Homeworld? Rebecca says these episodes that are coming are huge. She can't wait for us to see them.

[Archive of Steven Universe Podcast Summaries]

#steven universe #steven universe podcast #rebecca sugar #ian jones-quartey #mckenzie atwood #reunited #myblog

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doshmanziari · 5 years ago

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2019 Mega Drive Explorations [4]

A continuation of parts 1, 2, and 3. Click the link below to read the full post.

The NewZealand Story (1990)

This almost instantly became one of my favorite games for the Mega Drive. It was first an arcade release (1988), and got a ton of ports with, I assume, differences between each; Wikipedia notes that the version I played “had its levels based on the prototype version of the arcade game.” What that means, qualitatively, I’m not yet sure. This is some of the weirdest level design I’ve encountered in a platformer that’s not, like, a reactionary deconstructive work (in the way that the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros. 2 is). The only other somewhat contemporary title I can compare it to is Milon’s Secret Castle (1986). Each of The NewZealand Story’s stages is a sort of maze that’s completed when you reach a fellow kiwi and release them from a cage. What really lets the layouts grow as they do is that, once you get to the second zone (of four), you need to start making use of the various flotation devices which preexist here and there or are left behind by enemies you defeat. So the level design gets to, in a kind of freeform way, flip between “normally” accessible paths and platforms, and toothy stretches demanding aerial navigation. The flotation devices are distinct from one another, too, from how you adhere to it to the speed. What was especially fun about this to me is how, following a clear-out of enemies, you might have a selection of these devices to choose from, and there aren’t really comparative downsides between them (the closest you get to that are these things that look like, uh, torpedoes, which are slow, but they’re also the one device that can’t be popped by shooting at it or touching spikes).

Even if The NewZealand Story isn’t genre-/series-deconstructive, that doesn’t mean it can’t have whimsical moments. A standout for me is illustrated in the third screenshot, where a “room” you have to get to is surrounded by a barrier, and seemingly inaccessible, until you remember that if you are standing below platforms and walkways of a certain thinness and appearance you can jump through them. The solution is to get yourself up against that vertical band and jump through the bit where it briefly horizontally redirects. Cool!! The other thing I like a lot about the level design is that it’s not strictly economical, that some of the structural arrangements seem to exist to form visual patterns more than to control your route. So you have minor casual options for where and how to move through a space. Mercifully, amazingly, bosses are few -- only three -- and they have brevity: you can get rid of the final boss (see the screenshot above) within seconds by popping his balloon. I like looking at this game, too. A couple of stages reminded me of Falcom’s Xanadu and Faxanadu in their cute, flattish, compact representation of architecture or architectural elements within a screen’s worth of space and fortressed tiling. Once you’re past the first zone, loosely themed as a zoo, it’s impossible to tell if the zones’ apertures and voids admit further views or are all mosaics and/or props. It was an unexpected and engaging ambiguity: either interpretation has strange implications. Besides a couple of jumps over and under spikes which demand an inapt exactitude, this is pretty much a perfect game for me, and I wish it had gotten a handheld rerelease on the Nintendo GBA or DS.

Arcus Odyssey (1991)

As a Wolf Team-developed game, Arcus Odyssey sits snugly beside Earnest Evans and El Viento as a whirlwind of inexplicable plot points (rendered more inexplicable, and amusing, by an amateurish localization), lopsided pacing, and just a ton of baffling game design that doesn’t really care about you. Everything is exploding and the gravitas has no narrative grounding. It is at its best hilariously joyful and at its worst insensitively prohibitive. Environments, from a network of walkways suspended thousands of feet above the earth, to a colonnaded stepped complex that recalls John Martin’s infernal painting, Pandemonium, are set at an oblique angle and are swimming with sorcerers, skeletons, cockroaches, and other creatures who unendingly come at you from out of nowhere and half of the time spit projectiles. The palettes and narrow, minuscule tilesets give everything the veneer of a PC-98 title. Regardless of the character you choose (for me, it was the pink-haired Erin who wields a whip), the best strategy is to never stop mashing the attack button. This got iffy in one stage where a numerous type of flying creature left behind a crawling string of flames on the ground upon death. The best strategy for bosses? Use an invincibility-granting item you’ve hopefully snagged from a treasure chest, stand right next to the boss, and... yeah, mash that attack button. Which is fine! This is not a game where the mechanics could’ve yielded bosses who were interesting for reasons other than their appearance.

Arcus Odyssey has two serious, debilitating issues, though. The first is that you only have room in an inventory menu for six items (five, really; one of these items is permanent), and yet I have quite literally never seen another videogame with so many treasure chests relative to its stages’ sizes. You’ll mostly be passing stuff up then because you’re at capacity. Sure, you can consume the things you have to make room, but there are at least three items which have contextually valuable uses: the potion of invincibility, the lifebar-refilling lamp of life, and the resurrecting doll of life. Stocking up on one kind to the exclusion of everything else isn’t a sustainable plan. So the “economy,” as it were, is kinda fucked. The second debilitating, perhaps eventually paralyzing, issue is that Arcus Odyssey has the design of an early Japanese PC action-RPG like Ys or Rune Worth, where you are constantly harangued by waves of enemies who non-specifically occupy the level designs and bosses who may instantly unload multiple projectile-based attacks. That sort of design, somewhat haphazard as it was, could function (with degrees of success) in the context of the RPG part of the “action-RPG” equation, since you could reliably and incrementally level up (and save!). Arcus Odyssey doles out a few upgrades here and there, but it plays out like an action game that doesn’t understand the forms it’s borrowing. As such, it’s easy -- and become easier, the further along you are -- to get yourself into situations whose demands for superhuman, verging on omniscient, performance make no sense. Real shame.

Marvel Land (1991)

Like The NewZealand Story, Marvel Land is a Mega Drive port of an arcade game released a couple of years earlier. Also like the former, it quickly became a personal console-favorite. A few prickles keep me from fully loving it -- namely, the bizarre precision you need to have when jumping on enemies to not get hit yourself (and a hit here, as per usual with arcade games before the 90s, equals death), a few too many leaps of faith, and optional doorways which can send you back to previous levels, as far as the very first -- but the diversity of creatures, stages’ arrangements and themes, power-ups, and unconventional bosses have an individual and cumulative appeal that outweighs those problematics. I think I’m obligated here to say that I will almost automatically like any videogame that has a candy-themed environment, and Marvel Land has one of those, complete with waddling ice cream cones, gingerbread houses, and a maze built of cracker-cookies. The two main and most interesting power-ups are wings which temporarily give you a much higher jump and the ability to fly, and a string of self-duplicates which can be whipped around to hit enemies, collect items for score, and latch onto targets to swing from them. A later level surprised me when it both expected me to use the wings to progress and to be mindful about the height of my jumps so as to not skewer myself on spikes., denying the expectation that such a liberty would dissolve hard designs.

Bosses deserve a special mention because, god, by now I just hate bosses, they ruin so many of these games, and Marvel Land’s are designed as “minigames” -- a game of rock-paper-scissors, selecting an illustration in a grid that matches an example below, or Whac-a-mole (against a mole). It’s decent, clever, and properly playful. Despite this, the game is still compelled to have a “real” boss fight at the very end (were the developers anxious?), and I could’ve done without that; but, it was straightforward enough. The aforementioned bestiary, if you want to call it that, is wonderful and funny and can hold its own against any of the Kirby games’ rosters. You can see, for example, in the last screenshot that a feisty mallard duck who beckons at you with an index feather-finger is named COMEON. Other members include HEAVY, a chubby pink snake, and GIANTBURGER, a sentient burger. As a closing comment, I’ll say that it’s striking and odd how many videogames, from Japan, no less, were about restoring the rule of a Eurocentric fairytale monarchy. Hell, that’s what two of Nintendo’s most popular extant series are about (Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda). Why is this an international go-to for a premise? And how could anyone care about it? In some cases I think it’s fair to guess that the creator(s) did not care and simply went with a cultural trope that was within grabbing range; but the question remains of why those tropes are within grabbing range. We already know why these narratives are also fiercely heteronormative (even The NewZealand Story has to make the last kiwi you rescue be a girl -- wow, thank god!), but this prevalent medievalism that has an uncritical nostalgia for monarchy kinda mystifies me.

#sega genesis #mega drive #new zealand story #arcus odyssey #marvel land

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borisbubbles · 6 years ago

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2010s Eurovision: 360-356

360. Didrik Solli-Tangen - “My heart is yours” Norway 2010

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Oh god this is SO tragic. Didrik is one of the hottest guys in this ranking for me and I cannot stan him because this performance is terrible. 😭 Not a single note sung correctly. 😬

Having said that, the song is some neo-christian, maudlin, You-Raise-Me-Up-esque saccharine schmaltz that I probably would dislike no matter how pretty the package, lol. Hits before dicks, y’all~

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359. Kobi Marimi - “Home” Israel 2019

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Apparently the people that made Kobi ‘someone’ are his former bullies 😬 Which he apparently never got over despite somewhat turning his life around??? 😬There’s certainly nothing wrong with realness but Kobi proves there’s something as “Too Real”. Knowing Kobi’s King-esque backstory makes “Home” more... pathetic as opposed to monstruous?

That said though, I’m not sure WHY Israel (or anyone) would think “Sob Story” would work as an angle in 2K19, that shit has never worked before, nor will it ever, especially given that Kobi has an Actually Scary Meltdown each time he sings it (and this was brought up during the LIVE SHOW!!! as a PLUS!!!! 😬😬😬). Then again, this is what said meltdown looks like:

Good luck winning that Golden Rasperry, mr. Marimi~

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358. Ryan O’Shaughnessy - “Together” Ireland 2018

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[2018 Review here]

“Together” remains a tough call for me to rank because on one hand, I think it’s a deserving qualifier, mostly because the act elevated the song to a higer level. On the other, hand:

... it’s really evil and exploitative lol. 😬 Definitely a display of BAD taste, at least. So, I’ll settle with a middle ground of ranking it low, but not *as* low as several other evil entries, I guess. :shrug:

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357. Glen Vella - “One life” Malta 2011

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Ryan’s was definitely a case of inserting a homosexual angle in a song which didn’t require it, but every once in a blue moon a song will waltz in that makes me wish for a bit more heteronormativity. Enter Glen Vella.

I find it hard to articulate *why* I find “One life” as irritating as I do, but I do, I do. I hate it like a fool. It’s one of those entries whose *only* angle is “hi I’m gay 🦄”, but it in such a tepid, lukewarm, unremarkable sort of way? Like, am I supposed to feel addressed or anything? Am I supposed to feel anything at all? It’s almost as though some straight dude had the idea of making a pro-LGBT entry but only had a theoretical knowledge of what the LGBT community actually likes? Whatever, another lame 2011 entry to chuck onto the evergrown pile of Suck, I guess.

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356. Nicky Byrne - “Sunlight” Ireland 2016

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Sometimes, I really feel as though Ireland have given up completely? The idea behind this must’ve been “We could..send that cute guy from Westlife that reads our points every year 🤔” “yes but can he sing?” “...” “just kidding LOL😂”. And predictably, it ended up being your typical embarrassing late 2010s NQ fodder. It’s pretty bad tho. For instance if the song is called “Sunlight” then why use RED lights instead of white or yellow? (don’t tell me that BS of ‘but there’s an actual sun in the backdrop’ NOBODY ON THIS PLANET associates the sun with the colour red, period) Also that are these stupid ass lyrics? “sing like you feel it” Like, off-key? “Love like beginners” you mean clumsily, painfully and awkwardly? How does that work?! GIVE ME THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS DAMMIT!! They’re much more amusing than your crappy song!!!

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Norway #Israel #Ireland #Malta #Didrik Solli-Tangen #My heart is yours #Kobi Marimi #Home #Ryan O'Shaughnessy #Together #Glen Vella #one life #Nicky Byrne #Sunlight

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 6 years ago

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THE BISEXUAL WYATT MANIFESTO: PART DEUX

The previous post simply got far too long for me to put it all in one place so here is part the second. Put below a cut and my apologies to mobile users!

Part one here.

PART THE SECOND: POURQOUI???

But why, Mads, you shout? Why decide to headcanon a character as bi? Is it just so you can write your dragon porn?

maybe

Ahem.

Listen. I love diversity as much as the next person. Y’all know I do. I mean, I’m a huge fan of Rufus and Jiya, and Denise, queen of my heart. But… I mean we already have a het ship with Jiya and Rufus. And I feel like, y’know, Wyatt being white AND cis AND male AND straight? Feels like a little much, y’know? And there’s no reason for him to be straight, he just IS, and that feels—I mean where’s the whole backstory about it, right? And it feels a little illogical to have… I mean I don’t have any friends who are white and straight and cis male. It just feels unrealistic.

Okay, okay, extreme salt aside and mostly out of my system…

As a character, even in season one when I did like him, Wyatt is boring. He’s the same white straight male soldier/law-and-order character that we’ve seen in literally every single piece of science fiction since the dawn of time. You will find an exact copy of him in Stargate SG-1 (my apologies to Jack O’Neill), Stargate Atlantis (sorry John…), 12 Monkeys, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Terra Nova, Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, Star Trek Enterprise, Eureka… and that’s not even touching all the mystery/crime shows (CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Law & Order, Blue Bloods, Take Two) and military shows (SEAL Team, 24, etc). He’s got a dead wife, fantastic, so does the Punisher, so does Sam Winchester (also created by Eric Kripke), so does GARCIA FLYNN, another character on the show, and Flynn’s wife’s death actually ties into the bigger mystery of the show. By God, if you’re gonna fridge a wife at least make her fridging the entire reason the show exists.

Yes, you heard me. Think about it. If Lorena and Iris Flynn don’t die, then Flynn never wants to go on a vengeful rampage, so Lucy never chooses to give him the journal, so he never steals the time machine… killing Lorena and Iris was the biggest mistake Rittenhouse ever made. If you’re gonna play the dead wife card then by golly at least do it like this and make avenging her death the entire reason for the show.

So not only is Wyatt the same cookie cutter character we’ve seen in every TV show ever, he’s also a repeat of Flynn. He’s not just boring, he’s redundant.

Wyatt is also the only character on the show that you could replace with someone else without changing any of the main plot. When I originally decided to do a fic where the team comes back to find one of them was erased from existence on the trip, I knew it had to be Wyatt—erasing Lucy would change everything (which I explore in The Void is Open), erasing Flynn would take them to a world where Rittenhouse has won, erasing Rufus would mean potentially no pilot… you see what I mean. But Wyatt is very neatly replaced with Dave Baumgardner in 1.14 and shows us that Wyatt is, literally, replaceable. Of course he isn’t to Lucy and Rufus at that point because they care about him but for writing reasons? For plot? Literally any soldier would do. Any. Denise could hop in there with them if she so chose.

Now, all this makes it sound like I dislike Wyatt. And I didn’t in season one. I quite liked our puppy. I liked him for two reasons: 1. He had a lot of potential and 2. his character mirrored/paralleled Flynn and I saw a copious amount of opportunities with that.

Both Flynn and Wyatt have lost their spouse. Both Flynn and Wyatt are soldiers. Wyatt had an abusive father and given that Flynn goes on a potential suicide mission for his mother but we never once hear him mention his father (he might as well not have one for his importance to Flynn’s life), I’m taking a guess that Flynn’s father wasn’t all that great of a person either. Both Flynn and Wyatt risk everything to save the people they love and both pay heavy prices for it and become people they’re ashamed of (Flynn all of season one, Wyatt in 1x13). Both Flynn and Wyatt care deeply for Lucy and look to her for guidance.

Wyatt and Flynn mirror each other. One is willing to break rules, and to forge his own path, while the other follows rules and is scared to strike out on his own. Both of them struggle with identity–Wyatt has no idea who he is now that Jess is dead, and Flynn believes he’s turned into a monster and who he once was is lost. Taking advantage of that mirror makes for compelling storytelling, and the writers failed in that in season two after setting it up so beautifully in season one.

The fun thing is, these parallels become even more poignant if you make Wyatt bi and have him be attracted to Flynn (and is a convenient shortcut to bring those parallels back to the fore).

We touched in the previous section how it’s easy to see Wyatt as attracted to Flynn and that’s why he lashes out so much, and indeed how that is the only rational explanation for why Wyatt is so goddamn against Flynn the whole time.

Let’s dive into that, shall we?

Of the original trio, Rufus and Lucy have ample reason to dislike Flynn. Wyatt? Has none. Flynn makes things personal with Lucy right out the gate, and Rufus’s family will be hurt if Flynn isn’t stopped. But Wyatt is just supposed to see Flynn as an enemy soldier. No personal vendetta involved. And before you say rivalry over Lucy–most of Lucy’s pivotal moments with Flynn in season one are without Wyatt present, and the ones she does have in front of Wyatt aren’t automatically read as romantic. Wyatt himself doesn’t even admit he’s got feelings for Lucy until season two, and as far as he knows, Lucy’s still dealing with Noah.

But Wyatt hates Flynn. As we’ve seen in our examples, he reacts to Flynn with a violence that is missing from Rufus and Lucy. And there is no reason for that violent dislike to be there.

Unless Wyatt is attracted to Flynn and is scared of that from internalized homophobia.

If Wyatt finds Flynn attractive, and has internalized homophobia from, y’know, growing up in Texas and having an abusive father and going into the army, then his anger towards Flynn, his stubbornness, his refusal to listen to Flynn (because if Flynn is right about things and Flynn is an okay guy that opens the door to other more ‘dangerous’ thoughts), and his tendency to react to Flynn’s time with Lucy with such anger–it all makes sense. The last one is partly about Wyatt’s jealousy and possessiveness over Lucy but if it’s coupled with attraction to Flynn it makes even more sense.

Having Wyatt behave this way simply doesn’t hold up. It relies far too much on the audience making leaps of logic about Flynn and Lucy’s relationship in season one and assuming that Wyatt and Lucy are meant to be together, without enough evidence for the latter and Wyatt not at all present for the former.

If Wyatt’s bi, it all makes sense and is logical and again adds another dimension to his character and to his interactions with Flynn.

Monkey Brain: heh heh Wyatt and Flynn kissing is hot as fuck

Wyatt’s toxic masculinity becomes even more interesting and important (and make more sense) if Wyatt is bi.

In this meta here (my first for the Timeless fandom!) I talk about Wyatt and his toxic masculinity so to avoid repeating myself howzabout you go read that and come back mmkay?

…

You done? Perfect. So. Now that you understand where Wyatt’s toxic masculinity comes from and how he displays it in canon, I can say this:

Wyatt being bi forces him to confront his toxic behavior in a unique and powerful way that he can no longer ignore.

Part of Wyatt’s toxic behavior is that his behavior is specifically based in the masculine and the patriarchal. And so most of his bad behavior is rooted in how he treats his romantic interest–which has been Lucy and Jess.

Wyatt was, by his own admission, jealous and possessive towards Jess. He didn’t know how to relate to Lucy when she was no longer a romantic option, so he keeps trying to be romantic with her instead, and his possessive behavior comes to the fore as he tries to control who she spends time with and tries to get her to be as emotionally intimate with him as she was before, despite his wife being back and that intimacy no longer possible.

Getting Wyatt to realize his toxic behavior is difficult, since so many people have bought into the lie that men are supposed to be territorial and possessive towards the women they’re in relationships with. However, most heteronormative toxicity falls apart and is recognizable as harmful once we put it in a new light.

When a situation is bad, you often need an outside perspective, or to change one of the circumstances, in order to see how bad it is. Wyatt’s been lectured at by Lucy, Rufus, Flynn, and Jess, and he didn’t see his behavior was unhealthy. But if we change one of the circumstances i.e. the gender of the person he’s attracted to romantically/sexually, then suddenly he has to look at his behavior towards that person in a new light.

Let’s take Flynn for example. Wyatt can’t treat Flynn the way he’s treated Jess or Lucy. If he tries to be possessive of Flynn, not only would he be unable to, but he’ll realize that it’s wrong of him to even think of it. Wyatt wouldn’t find it natural to try and be jealous when Flynn talked to another man, because Flynn is a man, and he wouldn’t automatically assume another man was flirting with Flynn, or that Flynn was flirting with that man.

Because the thing is, our society is pretty heteronormative still. It’s genuinely hard to tell when someone is just being friendly or actually flirting, but we tend to really assume that when a man is interacting with a woman, one or both of them are flirting. With people of the same gender (or of non-cis genders such as trans and nonbinary) it becomes harder to tell, and a lot of the time we assume that it’s just platonic. So for Wyatt to become jealous over Flynn talking to a man–that goes against the norm because it means he’s assuming romantic rather than platonic interaction, the opposite of what we assume when we look at two people of the same gender.

It would force him to take a second look at all of his behavior and choices. It would force him to realize that his behavior was wrong towards Flynn, which means it’s wrong towards Lucy and Jess, etc. It changes an element and so it forces him to see everything in a new light.

On top of all this—Wyatt’s character is pretty stagnant. I believe that’s why they brought Jess back, honestly: because without Jess coming back to complicate things, there’s nowhere for Wyatt to grow. Forcing him to confront his behavior towards Jess was, I think, what the writers ultimately intended for him (the smart ones, anyway). I don’t think they intended for him to end up with Jess at the end, at least not originally. There are things said by Shawn Ryan in interviews that suggest to me that they realized Flynn/Lucy and Wyatt/Jess was a more interesting dynamic than the originally planned Wyatt/Lucy, so they switched gears and planned to have Jess end up with Wyatt. BUT, whether a romantic reunion endgame for them was the plan or not, given the alley scene in 2x10 and other scenes in season two, I fully believe that prior to the nuclear bomb of dog shit that was the Christmas finale, the plan was always to give Jess a redemption arc and that Wyatt would become a better person through convincing her to turn double agent (and through becoming a father).

If you don’t bring Jess back, there’s nowhere for Wyatt’s character to go. Nothing for him to do. Rufus, Lucy, Flynn, Mason, Denise, Jiya—they all have hugely powerful arcs and tough situations. I could go into them but that’ll send me off into another tangent that we don’t have time for. Suffice to say, I can off the top of my head think of two internal struggles and places for each character to grow that would last a couple seasons. And that’s just off the top of my head.

But Wyatt? You can’t. He’s got nowhere to go.

Bringing back Jess is one way that you can force growth and give Wyatt a new arc, but you can’t just give a character one single arc. You have to give them multiple. No real life person is struggling with just one thing, we’re struggling with multiple things. Take Lucy in season two. She’s struggling with Rittenhouse, with her relationship with her mother, with her realizations about herself and what she’s willing to do, with losing Wyatt, with getting back Amy, and with her growing relationship with Flynn.

That’s a lot.

Rufus and Jiya have their relationship AND Jiya’s visions that lead to an arc about destiny versus free will, AND both struggling with the “what are we willing to do to win/who am I becoming” arc.

Give Wyatt JUST Jess, and that’s not enough. It’s also something that, to do right, you have to stretch over I’d say two seasons, seasons three and four. So you need something else to fill in more gaps.

Having Wyatt be bisexual and having him struggle with his sexuality gives him dozens of more opportunities for interesting interactions with other characters, it gives him more ways to address his toxic behavior (as we discussed), it gives him more ways to grow. Because we don’t just grow in a straight line. We grow like trees, with limbs stretching up all over the place and roots digging in deep and crisscrossing everywhere.

Wyatt is a stagnant character. Giving him bisexuality gives him a way to continue to grow that isn’t dependent on another character (Jess) and can be shortened or drawn out depending on how his other arc (Jess, potentially Lucy as well) plays out.

Having Wyatt be bi takes away all of his redundancy, and stops him from being boring, and stops him from being so easily replaceable. If a character isn’t intrinsically tied to the plot (Rufus is there because he’s the only pilot, Lucy is a history expert and tied to Rittenhouse, etc) then you need to think of other reasons for the viewers to really care about them and I’m sorry, but having a dead wife and then being stuck in a heterosexual love triangle doesn’t cut it in the year of our lord 2016 (or ’17, or ’18, or any other year that follows).

And no offense to anyone struggling with PTSD because it needs to be addressed, but the whole ‘soldier with PTSD’ has been done before and, despite making it a main feature in 1.05 The Alamo, it hasn’t been touched on since. Not once. So that’s I guess been thrown out the window by the writers as a plot device (although again that could be brought back by having Wyatt bond with Flynn and Flynn talking with him about shared experiences could be a way that Wyatt further develops feelings for him YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN!?!?).

It also, as I outlined in part one, explains all of his behavior. It takes behavior that made no sense and was toxic alpha male bullshit and puts a whole new and interesting and understandable spin on it. Note I said understandable, not justifiable, this does not in any way excuse any of Wyatt’s behavior. But boy howdy does it make it a lot more nuanced and layered. Having Wyatt be bi suddenly opens so many goddamn doors for his character I can’t even keep track. His PTSD, his relationship with his father, his relationship with Jess, his relationship with Flynn and Lucy, his time in the army, all of those things have new and boundless opportunities in them. It gives opportunities and explains and gives depth to one-note, shallow, cliche male behavior.

Not to mention, um, making him a repressed bisexual gives so many more opportunities for angst and hurt/comfort and all that delicious, delicious character conflict that we all love. Mmmm yes the precious. And, BONUS, it gives us character angst that doesn’t necessarily revolve around a romantic pairing! You can give a character a sexuality crisis without giving them a person to be paired off with! Wyatt can have his crisis over Ian Fleming or Wendell Scott or Rittenhouse Agent No. 5, and figure it all out with only platonic assistance from the team. OR he can be pining over Flynn without Flynn having a clue because Flynn needs his love interests to hit him over the head with a baseball bat to get him to notice and even then it doesn’t always work. OR have him worry about confessing to Jess and/or Lucy and fearing they’ll see him differently given their past sexual/romantic entanglements! ALL. THE. CHARACTER. ANGST. BITCHEEEEEES.

Finally, last but not least, why should Wyatt be bi? Because representation matters, that’s why.

Up until now I’ve highlighted why Wyatt, specifically, as an individual, should be bi. But stepping away from him individually… why the fuck not make your character bi?

It’s the 2010s. The world is finally waking up to the fact that LGBT+ people are here, we exist, and also having us as characters makes your ratings soar. People were ecstatic over The Day Reagan Was Shot, which focused on Denise and her coming out. Timeless’s diversity was a huge point in its favor and was a huge part of why critics loved it. Making, of all people, the most rough and tumble masculine man’s man of the cast be bisexual is important because it reminds us that anyone can have any sexuality, that there are no stereotypes, and that not all LGBT+ people are fashion gurus.

I’m sorry, Wyatt, but it’s true, you are no longer allowed to dress yourself, I’ve submitted you to Queer Eye.

What could be a more powerful storyline for today than a man who was abused as a kid, exhibited toxic masculinity, and was clearly unhappy with himself as a person and looking outside of himself to someone else to fix him, come to terms with himself, come to love himself, come to say “hey I love who I love and I am who I am and fuck anyone who says otherwise”? What could be a more wonderful representation of the diversity and family bonding themes of the show then to have Wyatt, the insecure difficult-with-feelings small town poster for typical masculinity come out, scared of rejection, scared of their reactions, only to have everyone show him love and acceptance and unwavering support? To have Denise hug him and tell him she understands how she feels? To have Lucy tell him she doesn’t see him any differently? For Rufus to joke this is why Wyatt can never choose a cereal and then reaffirm their friendship?

Having Wyatt be bi isn’t just good for him as a character, it’s good for the audience, and it continues the themes of the show and continues to break down stereotypes and honestly, there’s no reason for any character to be straight, either. We just ask “but why” because straight is still the default in our heads and all deviancy from the norm must be explained and rationalized. But there’s no need for that. Wyatt has the most typically heterosexual traits out of all of them, and he’s from a small town in Texas, and he went into the army. How powerful for people to see him come out. How wonderful. But Wyatt can be bi just because you damn well feel like it, because there shouldn’t be a big list of reasons (although I do have them, clearly). He can be bi just because, well, there’s no big tragic backstory for why I’m bi. I just am. And so is he.

In conclusion: Bi!Wyatt is ten times more interesting, nuanced, and unique than Straight!Wyatt, it adds depth and opportunities for growth, it gives layers to existing storylines and character relationships involving Wyatt, it explains his behavior and makes it more understandable, and it gives us needed representation.

My monkey brain adds that the opportunity for humor with this is also boundless and honestly I agree, good job monkey brain, you get a treat.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

#wyatt logan #timeless #timeless meta #wyatt meta #Wyatt Logan's Bisexuality Crisis #koortega #tagging her since she sent me the original ask

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