#but the fact that this man. my mom’s partner. who has never even tried to be a father figure to me (and thank god because i would scream

[fingertipsmp3]

Gotta love those realisations that cause you to stand stock-still in your bathroom and take a long shuddering breath

[unsteddie]

Steve and Eddie are on again off again for years after the events of st4. It's never too serious, they have basically opposite schedules. Eddie tends bar and plays with his band, existing mostly at night. Steve gets a degree and moves onto being a school counselor, late nights are the bane of his existence. It's easier when they live together, but over the years they've moved in and out of the little place they share with Robin.

Eddie's moved cities a few times, tried living with the band, has been on and off tour. Steve moved back home when his parents divorced for about a year to help his mom out, moved in and usually quickly out with partners. He volunteered a few summers to live in low income rural areas and help with the schools summer programs.

They just never quite get the timing right to try anything other than casual. It's honestly tearing Steve apart, it's been the source of every break up he's had since meeting the man. Eddie however seems entirely unbothered.

Steve knows for a fact he's Eddie's favorite person. Even when Eddie is "seeing" someone else, Eddie's relationships are never serious, he still prefers to spend his time with Steve. He just doesn't get why Eddie doesn't want something real, but he doesn't push, doesn't wanna lose what he has

It's a full decade of this nonsense before the song Quit Playing Games With My Heart by The Backstreet Boys comes out. Steve doesn't really care much about the band, he likes boy band music well enough. It's fun and catchy and danceable. But he's picking Eddie up from the airport, back from a three month stint in LA recording and promoting with the band. And the air is tense as the lyrics spill out of the radio, and it makes Steve feel heavy.

The song ends but he's still pretty misty, it's only ten minutes back to the apartment. He can hold it back, and when they're home he'll just excuse himself and cry quietly on his bed. He's done it plenty of times before, this is no different, he's got this, he's good.

"Stevie?" Eddie asks softly, and his his voice sounds strained, like something's got him worked up too.

Steve can't respond, not with his voice, so he just sort of nods, doesn't look at Eddie, but can feel the weight of Eddie's stare.

"What is it about me that you don't wanna stick around for?" He asks quietly, but there's a solid quality to his tone, like this is a question he's resolved to ask many times, and finally got his nerve up.

Steve doesn't respond for a long time, as pieces slowly move into place. Eddie has always seemed so unaffected, even congratulating Steve when things got serious with someone else. But if he looked closely at Eddie's reactions now, in retrospect, with the way he asked his quiet question, it clicks.

Eddie never liked any of Steve's partners, always gave Steve an out of he needed it, was always a little petty about Steve's ex's after a breakup. The thought that maybe, for all these years, a decade now, they'd been wasting their time keep things casual was just...well it was fucking hilarious. Terrible and heartbreaking, sure. But it kick started ridiculous sounding giggles.

Giggles quickly snowballed into full hysterical laughter. He glanced at Eddie who looked hurt, which was absurd. Steve's laughter became unhinged, and he had to pull off the road. Eddie didn't look hurt anymore when he looked back, he looked furious, and he was wiping his cheeks. Steve hadn't seen tears, but the idea that Eddie was crying over him did nothing to quell the laughter.

The moment the car stopped Eddie threw the door open, and climbed out. Grabbing his duffle from the back seat. He managed to stomp a good distance away before Steve could get himself together enough to chase after him. He was still giggling when he caught up enough to grab the strap of Eddie's bag. He pulled it back hard enough to knock Eddie off balance, and had to reach out to steady him.

"Eddie please," he paused to laugh and catch his breath as Eddie struggled to pull out of his grip. "Please, baby, give me a minute."

Eddie froze at that. They didn't use pet names like that. Nothing so relationship-y. It was enough to make Eddie wait for him. Steve didn't let go though, terrified Eddie might run off without a proper explanation.

He didn't know how to explain it, the years of longing, the way he'd wanted to ask the same question so many times, how he ached for him. He certainly didn't know how to explain his reaction.

"I don't know why it made me laugh like that." He started once he had his breathing under control. "Some stupid pop song-" and he was laughing again because this was stupid. He threw his hands up in frustration, immediately grabbing onto Eddie again when his hands came back down.

"some stupid pop song had me on the brink of tears, because my stupid, broken heart-" more laughter, and Steve was getting really tired of this. "Aches for you, when you've, I guess-" laughter, "been feeling the same way. God Eddie how stupid are we?"

And with that the giggles were gone, his insides had gone suddenly still, and he felt the loss of the time they could have had.

"how long?" Eddie asked, quiet again, he was never this quite. When Steve looked at him now his face was hard to read, tears still brimming in his eyes, but the anger and hurt were gone.

"since the boat house probably, at least since the hospital, for sure. When you woke up and you were cuffed to the bed. The first thing you said was some joke about being flattered they thought you were that dangerous. I knew for sure then, but I think it started in the boat house." Steve flushed, his face hot and pink.

"God, no, that's ..we can't have been feeling the same way so long. Stevie, what have we been doing?" Tears were falling, both men crying on the side of the road, and Eddie was holding onto Steve now too.

"Didn't think you'd want me for real. Didn't think anyone-" Steve coughed around the lump in his throat. "Tried to move on, so many times. Never could, it always came back to you."

And Eddie was suddenly in his arms, weeping, getting tight words out between sobs. "Never. Anything. Compare. No one. Even close. Just you. My Stevie."

"Didn't catch all that sweetheart. You'll have to tell me the rest later." Steve whispered into his ear, and Eddie melted in his arms, nodding emphatically into Steve's shoulder.

The time they waisted sat heavy on Steve's shoulders, but he had Eddie now. Eventually they would joke about it, about pining after each other for a decade before getting thier shit together, but it was gonna hurt for a while still.

[boltwrites]

NEED to know what happens when logan meets your parents for the first time - does he flirt w/ your mom? What do they think about the age gap? Does your dad like him or is he all "nobody's good enough for my princess😤" do they know you're mutants? Giving you full creative freedom to do as you please just give it to me 😭😭

A/N: ok, so since you've given me creative freedom, we have: 20s-ish mutant fem!reader who teaches at the mansion on 10005, old man worst wolverine!logan, the two of you met after the events of dp3 and the relationship progressed from there.

also. this shit has been giving me so many problems. i was really trying to write typical white-picket fence, suburban sitcom-style parents, but honestly? i don't know dick about those type of parents. so you get these assholes instead.

this may actually be one of the worst things i've ever written. i might add a part two at some point, but really i just think this is horrible and want it out of my sight lmao. so here you go.

Your palms were sweaty, your heart racing, as you reached for the doorknob to your childhood home, Logan standing to your side. The last time you'd brought a boy home (and he had been a boy) things hadn't ended well.

Your dad was a traditionalist, you see, and your mom - well, she wasn't one to judge your choices, but you could tell that sometimes when you told her about your love interests, she was holding in laughter. But your dad - he was very vocal about the expectations he had for your partners. He'd never treated you like some kind of princess or prize - oh no. he was a man who saw his children as students of his own knowledge. No matter what your gender, he had taught you how to trim a tree, change a tire, wire a light switch, cook a filling meal - the basics of owning a home and keeping it put together.

Because of that, your parents hadn't often approved of your previous boyfriends. In high school, you'd been too frightened to bring them home. You'd only attended a traditional public school for your freshman year, and the rest of your time spent at Xavier's you'd been far too worried about your dates accidentally exposing themselves as mutants to justify introducing them to your parents. They weren't anti-mutant, per-say... but they certainly weren't supportive, and you didn't want to put even your prom date through that.

As you grew older (graduated college, was hired on as a teacher at the mansion instead of a simple student), you came to understand the reasons why your parents were so discerning as to your choice in men. Your mother's stoic judgment wasn't meant to be mean - she just wanted you to choose a man for more than just superficial attraction, to think of the bigger picture. Which, you'd been blissfully unaware of, as a teen. Your father's traditionalism wasn't rooted in outdated gender norms - it was simply connected to the fact that he wanted your partner to be able to support both you and your household in a significant way. That's why he was always harping on picking a "real man" - not some newfound conservative bullshit, but the simple understanding that sometimes men tried to do the bare minimum, and that he knew you deserved so much more.

And Logan, well. He could certainly support you. He was unlike any man you'd ever dated. He didn't have any social media you had to worry about - no feed or "for you" page filled with scantily clad women and sexist messaging disguised as finance advice - only a stupid flip phone he refused to text you on. He was helpful, attentive, affectionate - even despite the trauma you'd both experienced as mutants. You understood that his struggled has affected him far more than your had, that he still needed to heal - and even though that strained your relationship at times, you knew he cared, knew he tried - so you fought for it. That was something you couldn't say about your previous boyfriends.

Plus, you knew he could handle your weirdass parents.

"Nervous?" He'd asked you, when you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You'd given him a side-eyed look as you posed the concept, like you were giving him an out to decline.

"I mean, kind of?" You responded, hesitant. All he did was chuckle, smirking at you.

"What, am I gonna pull up to your dad cleaning his shotgun in the garage?"

"Honestly? Maybe, but that's not what I'm worried about," you admitted, fidgeting. "It's... it's hard to explain. I guess the closest thing is that they're - funny? Like - they'll make fun of you. My dad - he makes all of these horrible inappropriate jokes, like, all the time, and my mom is just really sarcastic, and she seems super judgmental because of it, but really, she's just being funny."

Logan just looked at you, one eyebrow raised. "

What?" You asked. You'd expected more from him. But he just snorted.

"Babe, I've been stuck in the void with Wade-fucking-Wilson. I'm not scared of your parents."

So, you took a breath, offered Logan one last "brace yourself-" and pushed open the door. Immediately you were met with the smell of something cooking - you recognized it immediately as one of your dad's signature dishes, sizzling on the stove.

"Hey, we're here!" You called out, you tried to usher Logan in and up the stairs of your split-level, but he insisted on closing the door behind you - and the shitty screen door that had been around since before you were born made a horrible shaking, scraping metal sound as it bounced along the concrete of your porch. Ah, the sound of home.

"Hey, you!" Your dad called, poking his head out of the kitchen. "What're you- hey, ho! Who's this?" He gestured to Logan with the spatula in his hand, and your face immediately reddened.

"Dad, this is Logan."

"Hey," Logan nodded in greeting, and your dad made a little shocked noise.

"Logan? Who's Logan?"

"Jesus Christ-" you huffed it under your breath, and Logan tried to stifle a chuckle. "He's my boyfriend, remember?"

"Boyfriend?" Your dad's voice pitched higher. "That motherfucker looks older than me!"

Well. There was your dad getting right to the point, as per usual.

"I am," Logan replied, and you fucking elbowed him in the ribs.

"No mutant shit - they don't know," you hissed a reminder, and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey - you see this guy, Nikki?" Your dad called to the dining room.

Your mom sighed - unlike your dad, she had some kind of decorum, and had the decency to shoot him daggers before she met you and Logan at the top of the steps.

"It's nice to meet you, Logan," she greeted him - you could tell that she was fighting the all consuming urge to shoot you a look or make a joke about this whole thing. She was trying so hard. It was like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit with the shave and a haircut song.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked. "Since you're clearly old enough-"

It was like some demon forced her to spit out that line. You snorted, had to shake your head. This was a mistake.

"What do you have?" Logan asked instead, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, smirking at the whole situation. It was like he lived to see you embarrassed.

"Water, coke, iced tea -" she listed off.

"My dad's shitty beer," you added, and Logan's brow raised.

"Hey! Busch is good beer!"

"No the fuck it is not," you replied, because he didn't even drink the light stuff.

"I don't care, I'll take the beer," Logan cut in, and your dad wagged a finger at him.

"Yeah! I'll get you one - it's good shit, man. Somebody watch the stove."

Oh good lord. There he goes. Logan shot you a look - lip quirked into a little smile, before your dad clapped him on the shoulder and hauled him towards the stairs.

That just left you. And your mom.

She looked at you. You looked at her.

"Well?" you asked, stepping up to take your dad's place at the stove to watch the food. Your mom shrugged in response.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me about him - make some weird comment about his age? I mean - now would be the time," you hedged. You just hated this weird aura surrounding you all. How it felt like she had so many questions to ask, but was holding them all back.

"Obviously I can tell he's old," your mom replied. "It's not really a discussion. Is there something we do need to talk about?"

You knew what she meant. Were you safe with him? Were you happy? Did you bring him here to meet them because you needed help, not because you wanted to share your happiness with them?

Some people might find that sort of implication unthinkable, or rude to address - but you knew your mom. She watched a lot of true crime. She just cared about you.

"No," you replied, with a sigh. "I-I really like him. He's a good man. He actually - he knows how to be a man, if you know what I mean. How to take care of himself. I don't know - I didn't realize how important that was until I met him."

You mom nodded. Her arms were crossed, and she wore her typical resting bitch face, but you could tell she understood what you meant.

"Well. Hopefully your father doesn't shoot him."

[princess-of-the-corner]

So, I haven’t seen the London Special, just seen the reactions, but it is really hammering home to me how much of the plot could be … not “fixed”, but at least “untangled” if Mari had literally ANY CONNECTION to Gabriel that didn’t involve Adrien. Like, her mentor, an old family friend, her godfather, her dad’s old college buddy, just … ANYTHING that made Marinette connected to Gabe on a personal level. It still wouldn’t make her lying to Adrien ok, but it at least would make it more sympathetic. Cause then she isn’t just lying to Adrien, she’s lying to HERSELF, because if she tells Adrien, then she has to acknowledge that actually, Gabe kind of sucked. Like, “cool motive, still murder” - yeah, you tried to revive your wife, and you loved your kid, but you were a dick, man. Marinette having ANY connection to Gabriel that is more personal than “my crush’s dad” would make the entire thing at least a little easier to understand. As it is, it comes across as Marinette, I’m not sure this is the right word, but almost “infantilizing” Adrien. She’s making decisions for him, denying him agency in his own life, because she’s decided she knows what’s best for him.

And like, Mari’s a kid who had a hell of a lot heaped on her shoulders, I get where the mindset probably came from, but Marinette’s only major connection to Gabriel in canon is that he’s Hawk Moth and she’s Ladybug. And while yes, that is a big connection, it also isn’t personal? Like. Gabe’s relationship with Marinette is basically nothing, if you take out the Miraculous stuff. Marinette is just some girl who goes to the same school as his son, is a rather promising designer, and … that’s kind of the extent of their interaction. Without the Miraculous, they barely qualify as acquaintances. If Marinette isn’t Ladybug, or Gabriel wasn’t Hawk Moth, there would be basically nothing there. And while I can make an argument that Ladybug absolutely has a say in what to tell the PUBLIC, that keeping up the ruse with them MIGHT be … not GOOD, but the lesser of two evils, I don’t think Ladybug/Marinette has any right in denying that info to Adrien. It’s his damn dad, he has a right to know what happened. Hell, even just about his mom! He has a right to know what happened to her!

And on a quick swerve, it actually annoys me that Ladybug hasn’t told Chat Noir. Like, the guy is your partner, you’ve been fighting this thing since day one together, on the superhero side of things, he ALSO deserves to know who the hell the pair of them have been duking it out with. Like, I’m aware identity shenanigans are afoot, but if Ladybug has the right to make this kind of call, then Chat should also get that right, which means LADYBUG SHOULD TELL HIM.

(… I will admit, this might all be bothering me less if my dad hadn’t been playing Hallmark movies all day, and I hadn’t been forced to sit through at least 12 separate scenarios where literally TALKING TO A PERSON would solve all the problems. But like … 8 times out of 10, when someone says, “don’t tell anyone I did this thing”, it is A) something you should PROBABLY tell someone, or B) something that is going to blow up later if you keep it a secret.)

-

Yeah no like!

On top of wanting some acknowledgement that this is well-intentioned but fucked up to do

the whole thing about Mari having no investment in the identity reveal past ‘ah that’s my bf’s dad’ has bothered me for a while because REALLY she should have some connection and they already set it up but never did anything with it.

But Marinette lying to herself and trying to convince herself that her mentor/friend is a Good Person despite the fucked up things he did would be a lot better than ‘uwu I don’t want to tell Adrien that his father fucking sucked despite the fact that Adrien is already VERY aware that his father fucking sucks’.

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: Once Upon A Grimm (2/?)

Summary: The world was far more complex than most people realized. Humans went about their lives, completely ignorant of the fact that there was a world of fairytales existing right alongside them. Well, not really fairytales. Not in the Disney sense, anyway. Many, like the Grimm brothers, had woven the truth into their stories, but the creatures they wrote about were even more nightmarish than their macabre and monstrous depictions. Creatures known as wesen. Supernatural, other-worldly beings who have always lived among humans and have always been hunted by those who had come to be known as Grimms. A struggle of secrecy, balance, and power among these species has existed since the beginning of time. This is a story of a man with his own struggle. The internal struggle of being a human, a wesen, and a Grimm, and the external forces that seek to eradicate one or all of his natures, especially those he tries to keep hidden. Fortunately, Killian Jones is not alone in his struggles nor his secrets. His personal savior, Emma Swan, has secrets and struggles of her own.

A/N: This fic is inspired by and will borrow from the NBC show Grimm. I confess I did not watch Grimm when it first aired, but absolutely fell in love with the show during a binge fest years later. If you have not seen the show, no worries! My beta - who has not seen the show either - assures me that it is not necessary. If you have seen the show, then I hope you’ll forgive the huge creative license I am taking with the material. This is not a strict Grimm retelling with Once characters. This is my own spin on the lore and cannon of both shows.

Sorry I am so late with this update. I underestimated how demanding real life was gonna be now that we are back in full swing with school. I'll do my best to stay on track going forward!

I cannot express how much I have enjoyed being a part of the @cssns all these years. Thank you to the mods who have kept it going year after year. We've had a terrific run! Huge shout out to @kmomof4 for always being my cheerleader and for her exceptional beta skills. A HUGE thank you and many fangirl squeals to my artist @eastwesthomeisbest for the amazing job she did on the cover art that accompanies this fic. Please go show her some love!

FYI: Because the show took cues from the Grimm brothers’ works, much of the vocabulary associated with the supernatural creatures was based on German or German coded language. For words like wesen and woge (which will be explained in the text) the w is pronounced with a v sound on the show. I’ll be using terminology from the show and more common creature names interchangeably within the fic.

Rated E (eventually) / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!  / Prologue

Chapter One

Two and Half Years Later…

“What have we got?”

Killian approached the scene with his partner, Robin. Their mate and uniformed officer, Will, brought them up to speed, keeping his voice low as the men conversed on the walkway that led to the grand house towering before them.

“Grace Hatter. Eight years old. Never made it to school this morning,” Will informed them, reading over his notes. “Father says she left the house at a quarter to eight like usual. An hour later he got the call from the school telling him she was absent.”

“Do we know if he’s clean?” Killian asked, assessing the distraught man who was being questioned by other officers.

“No,” Will replied. “Dad’s name is Jefferson Hatter. We're looking into him.”

“Mom?”

“Deceased.”

“Okay. Thanks, mate. We’ll go have a talk with him.”

Killian and Robin continued up the walkway. When the father caught sight of them, he rushed down the front steps to meet them halfway.

“Are you the detectives?”

“Yes, sir,” Robin responded. “Detectives Locksley and Jones. Can you tell us more about your daughter? When you last her? What she was wearing?”

“Yeah, um…” The man took a moment to try and compose himself. His hand shook as he brought it up to run down his face. A shuddering breath filled his lungs and a sob caught in the back of his throat. “She uh, she left here about 7:45. She’s wearing purple leggings and an oversized, purple top that has a white rabbit on the front of it. She also had on a red hoodie and her backpack is pink and purple with her name on it.”

“Does she often walk by herself to school?”

The man, Jefferson, nodded, tears welling in his eyes. “Ever since the beginning of the school year. She wanted… She wanted to be a big girl this year.” He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the freshly fallen tears drops from his face. “I was reluctant, but the school isn’t far and normally she walks with another little girl and her brother down the block.”

“But not today?” Killian inquired.

“No,” Jefferson answered. “Ava and her brother are both out sick this week. Grace walked alone yesterday, so I didn’t see an issue with her walking alone again today.” His face reddened, the tears now cascading down his cheeks as he pleaded, “Please. You have to find my little girl, please!”

“We’re going to do everything we can,” Robin promised him, digging a card from his pocket. “An officer is going to stay with you as we canvas the neighborhood, but if you think of anything else, give us a call.”

“Th-Thank you, detectives,” Jefferson said, taking the card then following one of the officers back to the house.

“So, what do you think?” Robin said under his breath as they turned back towards the street and surveyed their surroundings.

“If he’s involved then he’s an excellent actor,” Killian replied. “I think it more likely she was grabbed on her way to school. The question is… where?”

The street was lined with houses on one side, facing a wooded park area. The little girl would have made her way to the end of the block then turned to go around the woods. The school was located on the other side, about seven blocks away.

“We’ve spoken with all the neighbors who are home along the route she would have taken,” Will said, joining the detectives. “No one saw anything.”

“Maybe she didn’t take the usual route,” Killian said, jutting his chin towards the woods. “Maybe she took a shortcut.”

“Dad was very specific about the route,” Will told him. “He said Grace wasn’t allowed to cut through the woods.”

“Yeah, and we all know you did everything you were told when you were a kid,” Robin quipped, slapping Will on the back before heading towards the woods.

The three of them followed the worn path, carved out of the foliage by those who had used the woods as a shortcut over the years. Although focused on the task before him, Killian could not help but acknowledge how fortunate he was to do this job with his two best mates at his side.

It had been a series of unfortunate events that had led them here. Two and half years ago, he and Robin had been uniformed officers at different precincts and Will, after washing out of the academy years before, owned a local bar. After being attacked and having his life, once again, turned upside down, Killian had spiraled a bit. Neglectful of his duty and spending too much time at Will’s bar had made him a less than stellar candidate for detective, despite his high scores on the exam. However, everything changed once more the night Will’s bar went up in flames.

Though it had been deemed arson, they still weren’t sure how it had happened. The explosion and fire claimed the lives of more than a dozen officers and detectives from both Storybrooke and Glowerhaven. In the aftermath, personnel had been reshuffled, reassigned, and reevaluated, giving Killian a second chance at a detective slot and transferring Robin to the Storybrooke precinct. Will, determined to bring the perpetrator to justice, had reapplied to the academy and finished top of his class before being assigned to the Storybrooke PD.

Although the arson case had gone cold, Killian and Robin, with an assist from their favorite uniformed patrolman, had managed to garner the highest number of closed cases of any rookie or veteran detectives within the city or its outlying suburbs. Robin often joked that the reason the three of them were so good at this job was because in another life they would have been criminals themselves - and therefore knew how their perps thought - dubbing themselves the pirate, the bandit, and the thief.

Of course, he had no idea that Killian possessed abilities beyond those of a normal human detective which gave him an advantage. Abilities he was currently applying in the hopes of bringing this little girl home safely.

When the trail forked, the trio branched off in separate directions. Once out of sight from his mates, Killian crouched down and closed his eyes, homing in on the sounds around him as he inhaled deeply. Over the years he’d made peace with his wolf side. It wasn’t always easy to keep the wesen reined in, or explain away how he’d been able to accomplish some of the things his supernatural abilities allowed him to do, but as time went on he found ways to balance his human and wesen side.

Not able to pick up anything out of the ordinary, Killian resumed his search further up the path. A moment later, Robin’s voice called out.

“I’ve got something!”

Killian rushed towards Robin’s voice, arriving alongside an out of breath Will. Both men were too focused on the pink and purple backpack laying among the ferns to notice Killian’s lack of exertion.

“Grace Hatter.” Will read the name where it had been monogrammed in bright pink, confirming it belonged to their missing girl. “She must have been grabbed somewhere in this area.”

“Careful where you step,” Killian reminded them. “Will, call it in and inform the others that we have a crime scene in Wonderland Woods Park across from the victim’s house.”

Will stepped away to radio it in, leaving the detectives to peruse the area.

“Killian, we got boot prints here. They look fresh.”

Killian noted the direction of the prints and commented, “He took her this way.” Setting off down the path, he shouted over his shoulder, “Stay with Will until CSU arrives. I’ll see where the prints lead.”

Once out of sight, Killian crouched down again and took in a deep breath. The hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention and a primal growl rumbled in the center of his chest. He could tell the scent was wesen, although he wasn’t sure what species. There was something vaguely familiar about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

Never before, since his transition, had he ever wished for the moon to be in its full cycle. If it were, then his sense of smell would be stronger. He’d be able to discern the little girl’s scent better, as well as her abductor’s, and he’d be able to tell which direction the two had gone once they’d reached the road on the other side of the woods.

Cursing under his breath, Killian made his way back to Robin and Will. The Crime Scene Unit had already arrived and the area was being cordoned off so they could work making casts of the boot prints. Killian eyed Grace’s backpack as it was being bagged and tagged so it could be processed for fingerprints. He wished he’d gotten a chance to scent it, but the K-9 unit was already seeing to the task.

“There isn’t much more we can do here,” Robin told him. “Will and the other officers will follow up on the neighbors they didn’t get a chance to speak with earlier. Maybe one of their security cameras will have caught them coming out of the park.”

“Aye,” Killian said with a resigned sigh.

Clapping Killian on the back, Robin suggested, “Let’s go get some lunch. By the time we’re done, more evidence will have been collected and processed, then we can focus on whatever they found.”

“I suppose I could eat,” Killian relented. Robin was right. There was nothing more they could do that the other officers didn’t already have handled. They’d need their strength and their wits about them for the long afternoon and evening ahead. “Where did you have in mind?”

“How about Aesop’s?”

Killian cocked a brow his partner’s way. “Aesop’s? A bit swanky for lunch isn’t it?”

Robin shrugged. “I hear they have a great burger menu.”

“Mhmm,” Killian hummed. Something in Robin’s demeanor had him dubious as to whether that was the real reason. “I suppose we could check it out,” he replied with a shrug of his own, followed by a wolfish grin. “So long as you’re buying.”

~/~

“So that’s the real reason you wanted to come here,” Killian ribbed in a sing-song tone. “The lovely and elusive Miss Mills.”

Robin’s cheeks flamed pink behind the bun of his burger as he took as long as he possibly could to bite off then chew a mouthful.

“You know this constitutes stalking, right? Why not just ask her out?”

Robin swallowed and chased the bite with a sip of water, once again taking his time running his napkin over his mouth before placing it back in his lap.

“You’re hopeless,” Killian exasperated, getting up from his seat. He shot a wink over his shoulder to his mortified partner as he approached the nearby table, teeming with lawyers in their power suits. “Miss Mills?” he said in a feigned tone of surprise.

“Detective Jones,” she said in a friendly yet reserved greeting. “Funny running into you here?”

“Aye,” he said. “The lunch burger menu was recommended to Robin and me, so we thought we’d give it a go.” He gestured back towards the table Robin was metaphorically trying to hide beneath. Miss Mills - Regina - gave him a wave which he awkwardly reciprocated. “I won’t keep you,” Killian continued. “I was on my way to the facilities when I spotted you and just wanted to say hello. Enjoy your lunch.”

“Thank you, detective. A pleasure seeing you,” she replied, though her attention was not set on him but rather still subtly fixated on his partner.

When Killian exited the lavatory hall on his way back to the table, he slowed his steps and his lips twitched up in a smile. Robin and Regina were standing at the table conversing as the prosecutor’s colleagues were filing past, on their way out the door. Regina slipped Robin her card, her painted lip caught between her teeth, and he accepted it with a full, bright smile. Killian chuckled to himself, eager to take the mickey out of his friend, when something in Regina’s countenance shifted.

She’d turned towards the door, prepared to follow her colleagues, when her entire body went rigid. Something rippled through her expression and Killian was taken aback by what he saw.

She woged.

Regina Mills was… a hexenbeist?

No. He had to be seeing things. She couldn’t have woged. If she had, the entire restaurant would be in an uproar, especially Robin. There’s no way anyone would have missed the gruesome sight of a hexenbeist revealing her true form. Unless…

No. That wasn’t a possibility either. The full moon wasn’t in cycle yet, so there was no way he could have witnessed a demi-woge. Could he?

Regina’s features returned to normal, but her posture was still stiff and on guard. He followed her eyes to try and determine what had prompted such a response and was stunned to see another woged hexenbeist casually standing by the hostess stand. She had flaming red hair and was dressed in a tight, green dress. When her human face presented itself once more, she wore a smug, slightly challenging smirk.

Finally collecting herself, Regina marched past the woman without a word or backward glance, but the red-haired witch watched her all the way out the door and down the block.

“Did you see that?”

Robin’s question shook Killian from his shock, but a fresh, confused panic spiked within him. “See what?”

“The text,” Robin said, lifting his phone for Killian to see. “We’ve got a body.”

“A body?” Killian parroted, attempting to get his racing heart under control while processing what his partner said.

He didn’t see it, then. Didn’t see them change. Then why did I?

“Not Grace Hatter?” Killian’s heart dropped a little as his mind finally caught up.

“No,” Robin assured him. “Not the missing girl, but the captain wants us to take point on this one, too.” He beckoned Killian to follow him through the tables towards the exit. “I’ve already settled the bill. Will’s waiting for us at the scene.”

Before heading out the door, Killian scanned the restaurant for the red-headed hexenbeist, but saw no sign of her. He tried to shake off the unnerving feeling her and Regina’s woge had elicited in him. The mystery of why he had been able to see it at all would have to wait. He had more pressing issues to concern himself with.

~/~

“Are you sure this is even a homicide?” Killian heard Will ask under his breath. “Looks more like an animal attack?”

For the second time that day, Killian’s hackles rose. The scene before him was familiar. Too familiar. He could remember, as though it were yesterday, making the same inquiry to the detectives working a similar scene. A scene that had led to Killian being attacked and transformed. A scene that had been declared an animal attack after the DNA had come back as inconclusive. A scene where no other evidence had been left behind except…

“We got a boot print!”

Killian’s entire body reacted in a ripple of goose bumps and a sharp inhale confirmed the truth as a familiar scent penetrated his sinuses.

It’s him! He’s back. The blutbad who attacked me. The blutbad who made me. He’s back and he’s killed again. He’s killed again and… HE’S TAKEN GRACE HATTER!

“Oi! Kill, er… detective. You alright?”

“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost, mate.”

Killian’s Apple apple bobbed painfully. “We need to go see the Captain. Now.”

It was a quick ride back to the precinct, though Killian’s silent stewing had probably made it feel longer to his partner. Robin knew him well enough to not pepper him with questions when he was like this, allowing him space to get his thoughts together. It didn’t mean his mate didn’t side-eye him with furtive glances the entire way back to the station, though.

“Captain Gold, do you have a minute?” Killian asked at the open doorway of their captain’s office.

“For my two best detectives? Of course,” Captain Gold said, gesturing them forward. “How’s the investigation going into the missing girl? Or is this about the body we found? A jogger who was a student at the local university?”

“Actually,” Killian hedged, still unsure how he was going to convince his captain and his partner of what he knew to be fact. “It may be about both.”

“Go on.”

Killian and Robin took a seat in front of the captain’s desk. Leaning forward, Killian began to fill them in on what he’d pieced together.

“A little over two years ago, there was a hiker who was attacked in a similar fashion to how we found the jogger today.”

“I remember,” Gold said, nodding his head. “That was ruled an animal attack, wasn’t it?”

“Aye,” Killian said. “The DNA was inconclusive, but that wasn’t the only evidence left at the scene.” Flicking his eyes towards Robin, he said, “There was a boot print. Just like the one at the scene today. And that’s not all…” Sitting back, Killian wiped his hand down his face and let go a heavy breath. “The same day the hiker was attacked and killed, a little girl went missing in Glowerhaven.” Robin’s eyes widened and Killian knew he didn’t need reminding, but the Captain still needed to know. “I know because Robin helped work that case and we were mates back then.” Setting his attention back on his captain, Killian continued. “Look. I’m not saying all these cases are connected, but we did find boot prints where we suspect Grace Hatter was abducted, and it all feels a little suspect to just be coincidence.”

Captain Gold tented his fingers in front of him, and his eyes narrowed at Killian. “I’m inclined to agree,” he said, after a few agonizing seconds. “It’s all too coincidental to not look into.” His eyes shifted to Robin. “Locksley, reach out to Glowerhaven and see if you can get a copy of the missing girls file from two years ago. Check it for any similarities to the Grace Hatter case. Jones,” he continued, focusing his attention back on Killian. “Follow-up on the boot print. See if the one from the hiker’s scene matches the jogger’s, then compare it to the ones we found at the abduction site.” With a dismissing nod, he added, “Keep me informed.”

“Yes, Captain,” the two detectives replied on their way out of Gold’s office.

“How did you put all of that together?” Robin asked. “Remembering that girl from more than two years ago who went missing the same day a hiker was mauled? I don’t think I would have put that together.”

“I don’t know,” Killian deflected. “Something about that night just… stuck with me, I guess.”

“Well, good pick up,” Robin said, clapping him on the back. “I’m gonna call GPD, then head over to collect those files. Check in later?”

“Aye,” Killian told him. “Later.”

It took Killian less time to confirm the boot prints were a match at all three scenes than it did for Robin to make it back with the files. Although it proved the crimes may be connected, the boots that matched the prints were a very common brand. It would be nearly impossible to find their suspect that way. Frustrated, Killian shot off a text to Robin and Will, letting them know he was gonna go out for some air.

There had to be a way of finding this monster.

Not that he hadn’t already tried. He’d gone back to the scene of the hiker’s mauling time and time again in search of any clues, hoping to discover the identity of the killer and the wesen who had turned him. Once the case had been cleared from homicide, investigators believing a wolf or mountain lion had caused the grizzly death, there had been little Killian could do inside the law. He’d been too preoccupied with the changes he was facing as a newly made wesen to pursue the blutbad on his own, and too worried about what his brother’s reaction might have been if he’d turned the case over to a Grimm. A Grimm who might have been able to detect such changes in his little brother.

Now, he couldn’t help but feel as though the jogger’s death and the missing girl were his fault. He should have told Liam about the rogue blutbad or gone after it himself.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake this time.

Digging his phone from his pocket, Killian dialed his brother’s number and held his breath as the call rang.

This is Liam Jones. I’m not available to take your call. Leave me a message.

“Liam. It’s Killian. Call me back. I’ve got a situation here that might require your expertise.”

Typical.

Killian’s phone vibrated in his hand. He glanced at the screen, expecting it to be Liam returning the call. Instead, the caller ID displayed Will’s name. Killian knew he’d been pouring over videos collected from neighborhood cameras, and he was eager to hear if he’d found anything that might help them locate the missing girl.

“Will? What you got?”

“Not much,” Will confessed over the phone. “I’ve checked all the cameras we collected from Tweedle Drive, the street the perp would have exited the woods from, and there’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing?” Killian asked, defeated. “From the whole street?”

“Well, there’s a bit we don’t have footage of, but none of the videos show any car, truck, or van he may have used to move the girl. The only vehicle on the street at that time was the mail truck.”

“The mail truck?” Killian repeated, an idea coming to him. “Do me a favor. Find out who was working that route today and whether the postal service issues a certain type of boot for their employees' uniforms.”

“You think it was the postman?”

“It’s the only lead we’ve got,” he told Will. “If nothing else, the postal worker may have seen something. We should track them down as a potential witness.”

“I’ll get right on it.”

“Text me the name when you’ve got it.”

“Will do.”

A renewed rush of hope filled Killian as he made his way back to the precinct, but it was hindered by a fresh realization.

If the postal worker did turn out to be their suspect, then he wouldn’t be going up against their usual perp. He’d be going up against a wesen. A blutbad. And not just any blutbad… his sire. The one who had turned him. Would he know? Even without the full moon bringing out his wesen characteristics, would his sire be able to tell what he was?

Killian stopped short of the station door and did an about face. He needed to better prepare himself for this confrontation, and there was only one person who would be able to help him do so.

Searching his contacts as he made his way to his vehicle, he prayed this call would not go to voicemail.

His prayer was answered.

“Hello?”

“Swan. It’s me. I need your help.”

~/~

The fingers of her left hand drummed against the counter as the nails on her right were being assaulted by her teeth. Normally, Emma Swan would not allow a situation to unnerve her this way. Of course, it wasn’t the situation, not really, it was the man involved in the situation. The man who only came in once a month to pick up his wolfsbane tonic and share polite pleasantries with her or her brother, who assisted her at the shop. The man who had agreed to keep things between them strictly professional after the one time thing incident that had occurred early on in their association. The man who had kept to that promise… until now.

He wasn’t coming here for his tonic - the full moon was still over a week away. He wasn’t coming here for tea, or spices, or herbal remedies, or anything within the purview of her business. No. He was coming here because he needed help on a case. He was coming here because he had nowhere else to turn. He was coming here because he needed… her.

Although they had managed to keep one another at arm’s length these past two years, it hadn’t been that way at first. The month following his attack and introduction into the wesen world, they had texted and chatted numerous times, having built a rapport by the time of the next full moon.

A rapport that simmered with attraction and temptation.

Fortunately, they had both understood the seriousness underlying his stay with her during that first full moon. Setting aside the obvious chemistry between them, they focused instead on the alchemy of finding the right balance of wolfsbane. Everything had gone as expected… until it hadn’t.

“Emma, sweetie,” Granny said in her admonishing tone. “Are you trying to drive us both mad with your fidgeting?”

“Sorry, Granny,” Emma mumbled, removing her nail from her teeth and flattening both hands on the counter.

The elderly woman’s soft, weathered hand covered hers and she gave it a light, comforting squeeze. “What’s got you all riled up? You said he was a regular customer.” Her eyes narrowed and her head tilted to the side. “Is it because he’s a lycanthrope?” Patting Emma’s hand she assured, “I may not look it, but I can still hold my own. If he gets unruly, then--”

“No, it’s not like that,” Emma said, cutting the woman off in a rush, not wishing her to get the wrong impression. “Detective Jones is much more disciplined than lycanthropes are believed to be. He’s… he’s a good man.”

“Then why on earth are you worked up in such a state?” Granny inquired. “I can practically smell the anxiety and tension wafting off of you.”

Emma chewed her bottom lip, then silently cursed herself. Get a grip, Emma. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she straightened her posture and schooled her features. “It’s nothing.”

Granny let out a dubious hum. “Try again,” she said. “If you want me to help a lycanthrope - and a detective to boot - that has you all tied up in knots then you’re gonna have to give me a reason.”

Emma released a heavy sigh. She knew Granny was right. The woman was going out on a limb for her, the least she could do was give her the truth.

Given that she expected the detective to arrive at any moment, Emma quickly told Granny about her and Killian’s first meeting, and the subsequent month that had followed.

“Sounds like the two of you became fast friends,” Granny remarked, though Emma thought she could detect something slightly off in the woman’s tone. “What happened?”

Glancing at the door, Emma wasn’t sure if she was irritated or relieved that he hadn’t arrived yet. She’d never told anyone what had happened.

“He came to stay with me for the full moon, as planned,” she began.

“Here?” Granny asked, knowing the proprietor lived above her shop.

“Yes,” Emma confirmed. “In my spare room. I wanted us to be close to the workshop so I could make adjustments on the fly.”

“What do you mean?”

Swallowing, Emma told Granny about the experiments they did, testing the effectiveness of the wolfsbane. “Things like, provoking his temper and trying to elicit responses that were more primal,” she hedged, with half a shrug of her shoulder, “to see how well he could keep control under such stimuli.”

“And?” Granny prompted. “How did he do?”

“He did great,” Emma said, then winced slightly as she added, “Until August showed up.”

A knowing huff left Granny. “Yeah. I’d imagine the presence of another male might have set him off a bit. Did your brother come away unscathed?”

“Barely,” Emma replied. “Killian didn’t know who August was and when he saw him hugging me he… woged.”

“As in… fully?”

“Yeah.”

“That must have been intense for all of you.”

“It was,” Emma sighed. “I had to use magic to diffuse the situation, but once cooler heads prevailed and I was able to introduce the two of them, I thought things were resolved.”

“Until?”

Emma’s mind flashed back to the morning after he’d woged and tried to attack August. The morning after the final full moon.

“So… you made it through your first full moon.”

“Aye. Thanks to you, love.”

“No need to thank me,” she told him. “I should be thanking you.”

“For?”

“For not ripping out my idiot brother’s throat,” she said in a tone mixed with amusement and annoyance. “I told him not to come here this weekend, but does he listen?”

Killian hummed, a sultry, toe-curling sound, and sauntered forward. “Perhaps gratitude is in order then?” he murmured, tapping his lips suggestively with a raised brow and challenging smirk.

“Yeah,” she said, a little breathlessly. “That’s what the thank you was for.”

Another sinful sound echoed past his lips as he pressed further into her personal space. “Is that all your brother’s life is worth to you?”

“Please,” she scoffed with an eye roll, trying, and failing, to get her heart rate under control, knowing full well he could probably hear its erratic beat. “You couldn’t handle it.”

The corner of his lips lifted in a feral and taunting manner. “Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

The crack of the t against his tongue reverberated through her, and without thought she grabbed the lapels of his jacket, fusing her mouth to his. It took him the briefest of seconds to respond, inhaling deeply before thoroughly devouring her.

It was hot. It was primal. It was all-consuming.

“That was…”

It was a big fucking mistake.

“A one time thing,” she murmured, pulling back from his chasing lips. “We… we can’t do this. I… I can’t do this.”

Releasing him, she took several steps back, unable to meet his eye or look upon his confused expression.

“Swan,” he panted, both of them still working to catch their breath. “Have I… Have I done something? I know attacking your brother was bad form. Please don’t think I’m unaware of the seriousness of that--”

“No, it’s… it’s not that,” she said. “I know you didn’t really have control over--”

“Then what?” he asked. “What’s changed?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Emma rocked back on her heels and said, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to… I mean… this is all new to you and the last thing we both need is to complicate an already complex situation. I think it would be best if we… kept things professional between us.”

She braced herself for his response, expecting him to be angry. Expecting him to accuse her of leading him on, or taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable. She hadn’t expected him to run a hand through his hair while letting go a heavy sigh before agreeing with her.

“Aye,” he said, softly. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps now is not the best time to…” Flicking his too blue gaze up to hers, he gave her an earnest smile. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, Swan. I think I’ll be able to manage on my own now, thanks to you.”

“You’ll still need the tonic each month,” she reminded him with a slight edge of panic in her voice. She didn’t mean for their association to end altogether. “And you can still call or text me if you have questions about--”

“Thank you,” he interjected, cutting her off before she could continue with her offer. “I’ll swing in for the tonic in a month’s time. I’ll be sure to let you know if there are any issues regarding the treatment.” Reaching up, he pawed at a patch of skin behind his ear. “I, uh… I should go. I have a shift in an hour.”

“Right,” she said, letting him pass so he could collect his things from where he’d set them by the door. “See you next month?”

“Aye, Swan,” he said over his shoulder as he exited the shop. “See you then.”

“Only… I didn’t see him then,” she told Granny. “I chickened out and left the order with August.”

“Are you telling me,” Granny chastised, “that you haven’t seen that young man since--”

“No!” Emma replied, indignantly. “Of course I’ve seen him. We just… it’s been…” Another heavy sigh expelled out of her lungs. “After our… shared moment, I did avoid him for a bit and I know he struggled to cope with his transition, which made me feel worse about how we left things, but then there was this fire at his friend’s bar, and he made detective, and I don’t know… something about him changed. Things were less weird when he came in and we managed to carve out this nice, albeit superficial, relationship and yet--”

“The feelings are still there?”

Emma laughed a rather hysterical sounding laugh. “Uh, no. No feelings. I mean, obviously I care about him, as a person, but my current demeanor has nothing to do with feelings.”

“Oh? What does it have to do with, then?”

Emma didn’t get a chance to answer the woman’s smug question. The bell over the door chimed and the two women's heads snapped in its direction. In walked Killian Jones, as handsome and alluring as ever.

“Swan,” he greeted with a reverential nod. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Of course,” she managed to choke out, her mouth having gone dry. Clearing her throat, she gestured towards Granny and introduced, “This is, uh, Granny Lucas. She runs the new B&B and diner up the street. I thought she might be able to help. Granny, this is Detective Jones.”

“Please,” he said, taking Granny’s hand and offering it a polite shake. “Killian will do.”

“A pleasure to meet you, detective,” Granny said, obviously sizing him up. “You’re not at all what I expected.”

“Meaning?”

Her gaze still assessing him, Granny quipped, “Most lycanthropes have me wanting to rip out their throats within seconds of meeting them, but you… you’re different.”

Killian’s brows shot up and his eyes flicked to Emma even as he continued to address Granny. “It seems you have me at a disadvantage,” he said a little too calmly. “You know about me, yet I have no idea why Swan brought you in on--”

“Granny’s a blutbad,” Emma blurted out, causing his brows to raise even higher as his head snapped back to the elderly woman. “I thought, seeing as you said your case had something to do with a blutbad, and that you needed more information about them, that you’d like to have your questions answered by someone who--”

“Not just any blutbad,” he said, cutting her off in a tone laced with menace and anger. “The blutbad.”

Emma gasped. “The one who turned you?”

“Aye.” His gaze turned dark and his features hardened. “He’s back and he’s killed again. He’s even taken a little girl captive.”

“That’s terrible,” Emma said, keeping herself from reaching out to offer him a hand of comfort. “When did you--”

“Today,” he told her, catching both women up on the case of the little girl and the jogger and how he’d connected them to the cases from over two years ago.

“We found matching boot prints at the crime scenes, but I also detected his scent at each location. I knew there was something familiar about it, but didn’t put it together until I smelled it mixed with the jogger’s blood. It brought back the olfactory memory of that night,” he said, momentarily getting lost in thought until he shook his head and added, “Of course… I can’t enter that into evidence. Fortunately, we have a lead, but I am wary of confronting him without knowing more.”

“More?” Granny said, her countenance a bit stand-offish and very imposing. “Like what?”

“Like,” Killian hedged, wetting his lips and taking a moment to assess Granny as she had him. “Whether I’ll be able to know him by scent even if he isn’t woged. Typically, I can’t detect wesen by scent whilst they’re in their human form or see them demi-woge unless it's the full moon, so I can only assume he was in full woge when he abducted the girl and attacked the jogger.”

Granny remained stoic and stone-faced, still unsure whether she should trust the gemacht wesen in front of her.

“Look,” Killian said with a tone of authority Emma imagined he employed often in his line of work. “I know there’s a code among wesen. This desire to look after one's own kind. But this guy is a killer. He’s killed two people that we know of and may, even now, be holding a little girl captive, so please. Help me find him. Help me find her.”

The reminder of the little girl softened Granny’s features. “If he’s done what you say he has, then he’s putting us all at risk.” Quickly, she flicked her gaze to Emma then back to him, conceding, “You’re right. There is a code among wesen, but it only extends so far. It sounds to me like this blutbad has gone feral, and his behavior is only going to escalate the longer he’s allowed to run wild.”

“Then… you’ll help me?”

Her posture relaxed further and she stepped up to the counter, bringing her closer to both Killian and Emma. Nodding, she said, “Yes, I’ll help you.”

A relieved breath fell from Emma’s lips and she took Granny’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you, Granny.”

Granny patted her hand then straightened her shoulders, getting down to business. “Now, I’m no expert on lycanthropes, but unless he fully woges, I don’t think you’ll be able to tell whether your suspect is the blutbad you’re looking for. If he is feral, then it wouldn’t take too much to provoke a response, but you’d have to be ready. Once he woges… he’ll be out for blood.”

Emma saw a shudder pass over the detective and she wondered if he was remembering his own experience with an uncontrolled woge.

“What about the girl?” Killian asked. “What motive would he have for taking her?”

Granny pursed her lips together then hesitantly replied. “If he’s feral, and attacked someone before, then he’s likely gotten a taste for human blood.” Killian and Emma both grimaced, sickened by the notion. “I’d wager he attacked and fed on that jogger first. Probably lost control. He knows he’ll be good for another week until the urge takes hold again, but by then it’ll be the full moon and it’ll be risky for him to be out and about. He probably took the girl in preparation of making a meal of her later. Taking her now gives him time to fatten her up.”

Emma thought she might be sick, and while she could see the shared disgust in Killian’s face, she also saw rage.

Granny caught his eye and imparted, “Having her will make him even more territorial and dangerous. So you’ll need to be ready for anything.”

“Will he, uh…” Killian began, haltingly. “Will he be able to discern who I am? What I am?”

“No,” Granny said, shaking her head. “I only made that quip about lycanthropes because Emma had already told me what you are… and I wanted to see how you’d react. You ought to know by now that wesen can only sense you during the full moon.”

“Aye, but he isn’t just any wesen,” Killian countered. “He’s my maker. Are you sure that won’t have an effect?”

“I don’t see why it would.”

Killian’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, a reluctant question seemed to pause at the tip of his tongue.

“So there won’t be any… connection between us, then? No weird side effort of my turning that would make me sympathetic towards him or beholden in some way?”

Granny scoffed and cocked an amused brow at him. “Such sire bonds only exist in fiction.”

Killian’s head fell in relief and Emma could now detect how much tension he must have been carrying over that worry.

“Gemacht sometimes latch on to those who aid and guide them through their transition, and many times that is the wesen who turned them, so if you were to have bonded onto someone it would have been the person who was there for you at the beginning of and during your first change.”

Killian’s head snapped up, his eyes locking onto Emma’s. Her heart stuttered, then began pounding in her chest while her breath remained trapped in her lungs.

Granny’s gaze volleyed between the two of them, her heading tilting to one side as she quipped, “I suppose that explains the pent up tension I’ve been sensing between you two.” A warm smile lifted the corners of her mouth in response to their awkward reaction to the call out, and she assured them, “Don’t worry. The bond was temporary. I dare say enough time has passed that it would be gone altogether.” Her no nonsense demeanor returned as she focused her attention solely back on Killian and asked, “Anything else?”

Unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth, Killian cleared his throat and said, “Just one last thing… Do you know who this blutbad might be?”

“Afraid not,” Granny told him with obvious regret in not being able to provide him a name. “I only relocated to Storybrooke a few months ago, and I find it best to avoid my kind as much as possible.” Her eyes fell down to the counter and on a bit of a grumble she added, “Bad things happen when we get into a pack. Especially when we see red.”

Killian’s eyes went wide.

“What?” Emma asked. “What is it?”

Killian locked eyes with her once more. “The little girl. Grace. She was last seen wearing a red hoodie. And the jogger and hiker both had on red jackets when their remains were found.”

“So, red provokes him?” Emma said, shaking her head in confusion. “But you weren’t wearing red when he attacked you. You were in uniform.”

“Which,” Granny interjected, “along with your natural demeanor of dominance and authority, he would have seen as a threat.”

“Which means he’ll likely view me as a threat when I confront him.”

“Most likely,” Granny warned. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and Emma knew she needed to get going so she could get back to the diner before the evening rush. “My advice,” she said, rounding the counter on her way out. “When you do confront him, do it alone. You don’t want him to feel trapped or backed into a corner, and if things go badly…”

“Aye,” Killian agreed. “I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

Extending her hand, Granny offered him a sincere expression as he accepted the gesture. “Take care of yourself, Detective. I hope you can bring him to justice, but if not… bring him down any way you can.”

With that, she said a quick goodbye to Emma then exited the shop.

“Tough old bird,” Killian said in her wake, causing Emma to huff out an amused breath.

“Yeah. Granny is… something else.”

“Terrifying, I believe is the word you’re looking for,” he quipped with a light chuckle.

The two shared a laugh then stood awkwardly regarding one another for a long moment before Killian cleared his throat and said, “Um… thank you, Swan. I truly appreciate your help. I didn’t know who else to--”

“It was nothing,” Emma blurted out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I mean… I was happy you called and that I could…”

Her words fell away and a wash of something akin to embarrassment or bashfulness swept over her. Her face was hot and her palms were starting to get slick.

You're being ridiculous, Emma. You’re not a silly school girl unsure of what to say to her crush. In fact… you don’t have a crush. This isn’t a crush. This is--

Killian’s phone chimed with a notification. Pulling it from his pocket, he checked the text and his grip tightened to the point that Emma feared he’d crack the screen.

“Killian? What is it?”

Slowly, Killian’s eyes lifted and met hers. The look that swirled in those blue depths made her breath hitch.

“We found him, Swan.” His voice was low, almost a growl, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand in a way that caused her to shiver.

“Who is he?” she asked in a whisper, only vaguely aware that she was rounding the counter to move towards him.

His eyes never left hers and once she was standing before him, they flickered between her own as he answered. “His name is Quinn Adair. His address puts him outside of the city. Out in the woods.”

Emma swallowed hard as an eruption of worry filled her chest. “Are you… You’re not going to go after him now are you?”

“I have to, Swan,” he insisted. “He has Grace, remember? I have to get to her before he…”

Emma nodded, knowing that time was of the essence for that poor girl who was probably terrified out of her mind.

“Just… be careful?” she said, wetting her lips, which caused his gaze to drop down briefly. “And, um… Call me later so I know how it… so I know the girl is okay… and you.”

“Aye,” he said, pocketing his phone. “I will. I promise.”

She expected him to rush out after that, but he continued to stand there. Conflicted.

“Swan, I know this isn’t the time, but… what Granny said earlier. About us. About the bond that might have been created between us. Was that… Was that the reason you pulled away? Did you suspect?”

“Killian, I…” Emma didn’t know what to say. It would certainly be a plausible reason to give him. One that was safer than the truth.

It would be a lie, though.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, waving off the question and sparing her from having to answer. “As Granny said, whatever was going on between us at the time, it’s likely run its course, so…”

“So?”

Stepping forward, Killian grabbed her hand and lightly held it in his. A rush of goosebumps swept up her arm when his thumb brushed over her knuckles.

“So… Maybe when this case is solved and things go back to relative normalcy, we could… try again?”

“Try again?” Emma parroted. A contradictory cocktail of hope, elation, dread, and panic collided within her as her good sense warred with her wants and desires.

“As friends, I mean,” he clarified, and in tamping down her own disappointment she missed the tone of it in his voice. “We had the start of something I was beginning to cherish and I miss…”

“Me, too,” she told him, turning her hand in his so she could give it a squeeze. Maybe it was reckless. She’d avoided close relationships all her life for a reason, and yet… “I’d love to start again. As friends.”

His smile took her breath away, but it was quickly schooled so he could focus on the dangerous task that lay before him.

“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked, filled with concern about him facing his maker alone. “I know Granny said not to make him feel trapped or backed into a corner, but I doubt he’d see me as a threat. And I doubt he’d be expecting a witch.”

His lip curled up on one side. “As much as I would love to see him go up against your magic, I won’t put you in harm's way like that.” When she opened her mouth to argue, he quickly added, “Besides. I need to try and do this by the book. I’m a cop before anything else.”

“I get that,” Emma relented, begrudgingly. “But I’m going to keep my phone close by in case you get in over your head and change your mind.”

“In over my head?” he said in feigned offense. “I’ll have you know, love,” he murmured in a low timber, edging a bit closer to her. “If there is one thing I’m good at… it’s surviving.”

“Mhmm,” Emma hummed, meeting his taunting expression of challenge with one of her own. “Well, I’m going to insist that you stop by afterward in order to prove that to me.”

He smiled down at her, another message alerting from his phone, indicating it was past time for him to go.

“As you wish.”

Chapter Two - Coming Soon!

Tagging the Curious Crew: (add to tag list)

(Please be advised that I only keep one tag list for all fic updates and new works. If at any time you wish to be removed, just shoot me an ask or a DM. No worries.)

@kmomof4 @jrob64 @zaharadessert @laianely @booksteaandtoomuchtv

@the-darkdragonfly @undercaffinatednightmare @killianxswan @mie779 @motherkatereloyshipper

@jennjenn615 @jonesfandomfanatic @anmylica @superchocovian @caught-in-the-filter

@winterbaby89 @wyntereyez @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @gingerchangeling

@exhaustedpirate @cocohook38 @donteattheappleshook @lfh1226-linda @teamhook

@jackieorioncat @paradiselady19 @snowbellewells @earanemith @ultraluckycatnd

@pirateherokillian @calmjoonie @unworried-corsair @tiganasummertree @captainswan-kellie

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@qualitycoffeethings @idristardis @phoenix-untamed @bluewildcatfanatic @bananachickens

[sciderman]

So it seems part of the relationship between Wade and Peter, is the fluctuation of "who is gonna be the responsible one this time?", like sometimes Wade is the responsible one and acts like a mom that keeps the house clean and tries to keep his boyfriend healthy, feed and less socially awkward posible, but when Peter is the responsible one, he is like a Dad, the one who takes control and discipline over his chaotic boyfriend, Peter will be severe at the discipline but he also reward his man if he does good.

So, ¿Is there an occasion when both are the responsible and mature adults, or it just one at the time?

Also, ¿How much are they aware about this dynamic?

frankly i'm obsessed with their constantly shifting dynamic - it's kind of a game for them. it's the nonbinary dream, really - constantly swapping roles. it being a playground for them. they're still figuring out how their dynamic works, especially now that they're in a relationship. in a same-gender couple there are always questions to ask about who fills what role - and i love to explore that sort of a thing. especially with someone like wade wilson, who's constantly shifting terrain and is always putting on an act - and peter parker, who is constantly is trying to match his partner, and be what they need him to be.

i don't think peter's ever very dad-coded with wade - when peter's the authoritative figure in the house, he's more husband-coded, i think. wade being the helpless, hysterical housewife wife whilst peter carries the responsibilities, like bread-winning and being the strong one that wade can swoon into the arms of.

(nate - however, is very dad-coded. it's kind of overt in the comics. wade's father looks just like nate. daddy issues abound.)

(in before anyone points out the resemblance between uncle ben and nathan in 9319. i won't hear it. i won't hear it. putting my fingers in my ears LALALALALA)

i think it's a good thing peter's not very dad-coded with wade. because, typically, wade does not have very good history with father figures, no sir. and the good, healthy thing about peter is that he doesn't want to have control over wade. he always sees wade as his own man, capable of making his own decisions, and peter doesn't want to play babysitter.

peter never, never treats wade as anything less than an adult. never sees him as stupid, and knows how capable and intelligent wade is, even if wade makes stupid decisions. peter doesn't baby wade. he cares, and will support him, but as his equal, always.

but absolutely, wade is very mom-coded with peter. he treats peter like a child.

i think the role of mother is kind of just one that wade's always wanted to fill - it's the opposite of what he is, and what he sees himself as. he has this desire to nurture, and the ultimate good in his life, at least, in his mind, was his mother. so i think wade just desires to be mommy. to be good, and loving, and nurturing - and not bad, and despised, and destructive. his role as mother is more about him than it is about peter, really. he learns how to be a better person by looking after someone else. peter isn't helpless - sure, a little messy and unfortunate - and wade knows that peter isn't helpless

(in fact, wade admires peter for his strength and courage, and wants to follow in peter's footsteps. he sees peter as an example.)

buuuut, wade knows that peter will play along with wade's games. peter will tolerate the babyfication. so it's just an opportunity for wade to play a role he's always wanted to play, with a willing partner who's content to play along. wade's always wanted to be mommy. and peter lets him, for funsies.

really, they are both responsible adults. peter's not actually baby, not ever. he's not stupid. he's an adult. he's just letting wade put on his show, and playing along because he knows that's what wade wants from him. peter's gotten so, so good at committing to the bit.

wade needs baby?? peter will be baby.

[tanya-shiza]

Tired Gold busts (2/2) // LMK Medicinal Flower AU

Part 1: [LINK]

Yay 🎉 I was finally able to draw Wei Jian and he doesn't look ugly... It's a pity it's not full-length, but I wanted to draw something like a bust 😃☺️

About Wei Jian:

Wei Jian is an office plankton, but he is happy with it. He loves his job, despite the fact that the boss is very strict and changes workers like gloves.

Wei Jian's boss is the richest man in China. (Yes, that's Reng Zhang Ji from my Coin AU. I originally created Reng Zhang Ji for this au, but he fits better in Coin AU. In Coin AU, Reng Zhang Ji also mentions Wei Jian as the kindest person he's ever met 😉 In Coin AU, the Mystic Mayor became Shi Cheng. Shi Cheng and Wei Jian never met.)

Wei Jian was employee of the month 3 times (which is almost impossible) and accordingly his photo was hung on the wall of honor.

Wei Jian is friends with the guard at the entrance to the office building named Yu Cu. He is a bit emotionless and rather grumpy. Employees often encounter his stubbornness. However, Wei Jian has been working for quite a long time and during this time Yu Cu fell for his kindess.

Sometimes the guard even does a little help and marks Wei Jian as «here» if he is suddenly late in order to avoid him being fired for being late often. If managers find out about this, they both are fined, of course. But Yu Cu forgives Wei Jian for this.

Wei Jian is not a fan of sports, much less, beer, but Yu Cu is. Sometimes, for help with delays, the guard asks Wei Jian to go to the bar with him to watch football together. (It was in this bar that Wei Jian first noticed Shi Tiao, who had a bad habit of getting drunk after work.)

Wei Jian is earns above average, which is suprised Shi Tiao because he the one who earns more, but Wei Jian's apartment, car and clothes create the illusion that the opposite is true.

Wei Jian is a great cook and often watches cooking shows, but unlike the Demon Bull King and Pigsy, he is not a fan of Chang'e or her baking. There is a character in Nexo Knights called Gobbleton Rumble, who is a reference to a real person. Wei Jian would be a fan of him.

You might be wondering, since Wei Jian is so perfect, why doesn't he have a wife yet? He's already 36 years old! The thing is that Wei Jian is kinda cursed, but no one knows about it. Wei Jian was born under a star that destroys any chances of finding a female companion. Wei Jian tries hard, but all relationships end before they last even 2 months. His record is 3 months and 4 days.

However, the star did not say anything about male companion 😏😉 But Wei Jian never even thought that he can choose males as a partner.

Due to numerous failures in dates, Wei Jian became very worried about it. He is disappointed in himself and thinks that he is bad at relationships, although in fact it is the opposite.

Shi Tiao and Wei Jian's relationship wasn't official for a long time. They just acted like a couple, but never called each other boyfriend.

Wei Jian is very afraid that his relationship with Shi Tiao will end up like all the others. This is his deep unconscious fear, which only will be find out when Hua Kan mentions that their friendship is more like a romantic relationship.

Wei Jian was born into a "female family". That's means, he has only Grandma and Mom, who love him very much. Especially Grandma. This is important because Wei Jian didn't have a "masculine" figure, so he took his mother's lead, which led to how gentle, kind and caring he became.

Wei Jian is under intense pressure from his grandma and mother towards a wife and children. They are very concerned that their only son has achieved everything except the favor of a woman.

The numerous mentions of women make Wei Jian wary. He worries that his grandma nad mother might not accept Shi Tiao because he is a man.

⚠️Triggers will be mentioned below! Be careful!⚠️

Suicide

Premature babies

Postpartum depression / Regular depression

Wei Jian was born about 2 months earlier than he should have been. He was premature. This affected his body, of course. He was born very skinny, weak, and his eyesight was poor. He has been wearing glasses since he was a baby. None of his family wore glasses before old age.

One nice day, when nothing foreshadowed trouble Wei Jian's mother returned home and find her husband hanged himself in the living room. Such a horrific shock immediately caused labor. The mother gave birth with difficulty.

The loss of the beloved husband, who never said that anything was worring him, hit the woman hard. She fell into depression and completely forgot about her newborn son, who needed a lot of attention given his premature birth.

In order for Wei Jian's young bones to grow properly, his mother often gave him massages that doctors taught her. At such moments, she felt love and care for her son, unfortunately, this was not enough to forget about the grief.

Then the grandma took care of Wei Jian's needs. Seeing how the boy grows incredibly skinny and often undernourished due to the mother's distance, the grandma moves in to live with them in order to support both: her daughter and grandson.

Grandma didn't mean to, but she accidentally overfed her grandson, and Wei Jian was quite chubby for several years in his teen age (high school). This was especially bad because his bones weren't as strong as he'd like. After entering university and receiving a doctor's note, Wei Jian immediately set about getting himself in shape. Even to this day, Wei Jian takes care of his health. He helps Shi Tiao take care of his health and eat right. It was Wei Jian who helped Shi Tiao break his habit of drinking after a hard day at the bar.

Because the massages brought Wei Jian's mother peace and relief, she continued to do it even when it was no longer needed. One day, she even taught Wei Jian some of the techniques. Wei Jian sometimes uses them because Shi Tiao often complains of joint pain.

[doberbutts]

I just wanted to say thank you for the post about the safety precautions video. I take a lot of similar precautions (I have the same portable door lock) because of my PTSD and OCD and the fact my abuser knows where I live. I even have an emergency escape plan out a window and onto the roof! I live in a really poor area with a lot of violence, there's been three murders on this street in the last couple years and our cars been vandalised recently. I know what people are *trying* to make a point about in that post, but it does make me feel bad seeing such overt mocking. So I really appreciate you pointing out so much of this can also come from genuine trauma not just "watching too much true crime"! I hope you have a good day 💖

Yeah it's always obvious to me that the folks who think some of this stuff is silly or overkill have never really lived through a situation where that could have been a life or death thing. Which, honestly, that's great for them! I wish everyone could live somewhere that they did not have to fear break-ins and active threats on their lives! But that's also unfortunately not where everyone lives and that does include white people (although the point about it being weaponized unfairly against people of color, poor people, and disabled people, the populations that are the most at risk of this type of violence, is also extremely valid)

It's similar to my discussion about weapons, arming yourself, and self-defense. It is all good to say that most people in this country will never actually need to defend themselves from this type of harm. It's also untrue to say that it never happens, because it has happened to me, it has happened to my friends, and it has happened to people I know even only tangentially.

I have a doberman in part because I want a dog that has a fairly decent chance of biting the fuck out of someone who breaks in to hurt me. I carry a weapon everywhere and I took a fairly serious self-defense class. Why? Because when I was in college, a drunk man repeatedly tried to break in while I was sleeping and I have no idea if he would have hurt me if that door had actually opened. My parents' house was broken into while we were home when I was still a child, and my sister was sitting only a few feet from the door when it swung open. Between her scream and our dog coming barreling down the stairs at him, he chose to flee, but what if he hadn't? What if she'd been in bed like the rest of us were, away from the door? What if we hadn't had the dog, or if she hadn't heard my sister and come charging in ready to defend her family?

Someone broke into my mom's dorm when she was in college and stood next to her bed touching himself. He did not ever touch her, and she reported it the next morning, after laying awake frozen in fear all night about what could have happened. Multiple someones broke into my aunt's dorm at a completely different college and did touch her, for hours, and she was found the next morning as a beaten and bloody whimpering mess. My aunt has severe PTSD and was diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after. She never had symptoms before, but now she sees those men everywhere she goes. My other sister was beaten to a bloody pulp by her former partner and spent many years looking over her shoulder expecting to see him reappear. My dad was shot in the arm just walking down the street from his mom's house to his school due to gang violence and watched a man die on the same block as his mama's doorstep, and now has a ritual every night of checking each and every door and window despite living more than two hours away from that neighborhood 40 years later.

I am glad that so many people have never had to consider protecting themselves from this kind of violence. I am glad that the crime statistics say that this type of violence is becoming more and more uncommon. I am still going to lock my house up and install security measures and keep a weapon on me and know how to defend myself with it and teach my dog to bite the fuck out of anyone who walks through that door. Mostly because I remember being a terrified teenager holding the hammer out of my toolbox to my chest and staring at my fire escape door until the banging stopped at 3 AM.

[justagalwhowrites]

this isn’t a criticism on you. you’re amazing and i adore you and i think you’re an incredibly talented writer. why is joel so mean all through lavender like he isn’t nice at all even in the beginning??? girl stand up, this man is not nice to you, find someone who treats you well! he’s always like i’m sorry for being a dick :( ok then stop being a dick then

OMG Hi Bestie!

I totally get what you're saying lol Lavender Joel is a tough one! I'm putting the rest below a cut because oh my GOD I wrote a lot, I have a chronic case of cannotshutthefuckupitis and it's incurable.

While I definitely get what you're saying, I do disagree in that I don't think he's an asshole at the beginning, at least not totally. He has his stumbling block of "this is wrong, I never should have done this" after they sleep together and has his dick moment at the bar. He struggles because of Doc's relationship to his daughter and the fact that the last time Joel had any kind of relationship with a woman it was Sarah's mom and I think he kind of sees himself as a potentially life ruining force for someone he adores and respects so much and he desperately doesn't want to be that for her. Before they're together he's looking out for her (saving her from the asshole guy, having her stay with him, doing little things like bringing her the pens when she's low on ink and making sure she drinks water because I think Joel's love language is acts of service) and once he lets himself love her, I think he's a great partner (though I could definitely be biased because I wrote him and we don't see a ton of their relationship together in the fic!) He supports her interests and ambitions, is so excited for and proud of her achievements, understands her struggles and cares for her through them. He just is keenly aware of the fact that he's not a traditionally successful person and he perpetually thinks she can do better than him. Eventually, he falls victim to that line of thinking and tries to do the "right thing" by breaking up with her.

With the breakup, I think Joel always kind of planned it to be a temporary thing - assuming Doc didn't find someone better for her while she was in med school, anyway. His hope was, at the back of his mind, once she went to Harvard or Yale or some other fancy school and she got matched for residency, Sarah would be off at college, Tommy would be more stable and he could be in a position to pick up and move to wherever she was and they could try again. He just couldn't bear to see her dictating her life around him and selling herself short because of his limitations. His greatest hope was for Doc and Sarah both to reach their full potential and do the things he knew they were capable of without him holding them back. If she met someone else and settled down then, well, it would hurt but he'd be happy for her, assuming it was someone who he thought was worthy (a high bar but it wasn't one he cleared.)

And thennnn there's the outbreak lol

Post-outbreak Joel is another matter ENTIRELY and I've talked about my interpretation of Joel's character a lot BUT it boils down to this: Joel is too traumatized to fully, properly love anyone. Not that trauma inherently keeps you from loving someone but Joel has this really horrible storm of circumstances around his trauma that makes it basically impossible. The biggest one is that the person he loved most in the world died in his arms and he couldn't handle that so he tried to die, too. To the basic parts of his brain - the parts that keep him alive, logical or otherwise - the association has been made: love will kill you. Just like someone who may have been in an awful car accident might have a hell of a time getting behind the wheel again, he can't just let himself love someone. Add that to the fact that the QZ is a state of constant retraumatization for Joel - his daughter died at the hands of a military force and he lives in a city controlled by the military, his job often involves him carrying the bodies of dead children - he can't move past the thing that gave him that association to begin with. The problem is, he already loved Doc. That doesn't just go away. So his poor trauma-addled brain sees her as a threat to his survival and is constantly and instinctually trying to push her away. He doesn't want to be doing these things. He clings so hard to her when he first gets to the QZ because what he wants is to be with her. The trauma just doesn't allow it. The reason it works out when it does is that he's removed from the state of retraumatization and put into a situation where he has a lot more control than he had in his daily life in the QZ and he was finally confronted with the fact that losing her would kill him, regardless of how near or far she is.

You are right, though, that Doc really did not have a spine when it comes to Joel (or a lot of things, really) but that was kind of by design. She accepts his treatment because of her own baggage. Being abandoned by her parents in infancy, being treated with a certain level of resentment by her grandmother (who loved her but really didn't want to be the one raising her), her best friend dying by suicide in her teens, she has developed this complex that she is supremely unwanted and unworthy. She feels like everything she does needs to justify her existence because she doesn't inherently have a reason to be there. Her whole life, she's been an inconvenience at best and she's keenly aware of that fact and she spends her whole life trying to make up for it (just look at her career choices - always looking to care for others.) While Joel never thought he was worthy of her, she never thought she was worthy of him, either. But instead of trying to push him away, she did everything she could to endear herself to him, including tolerate his mistreatment because she doesn't realize that she deserves better.

Joel and Doc are very much two sides of the same coin (which was the point of the fic!) in that they have a lot of the same trauma. The feelings of being unworthy from before, the loss after. But when they both lost everything, Doc took the path of "cling to everyone I love as hard as I can" when it came to surviving while Joel took the track of "push everyone away and I won't be at risk." They pick these paths right at the beginning, with Joel choosing suicide when he loses everything and Doc choosing to keep going because she knows Joel would want her to. In the end, when they're in a place where they're safe and their basic needs are being met, they can heal and have a relationship that's far healthier.

ANYWAY lol I'm sure you didn't want an entire dissertation about my interpretation of Joel but here we are! I hope this is some insight into why I wrote him the way I did. It's mainly that trauma is a hell of a drug and Joel got a hell of a dose of it.

Thank you for asking, bestie! Love you!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for fumbling a murder investigation?

(CW for descriptions of violence)

Five years ago, my partner M (26X) was murdered, and I have been searching for closure ever since.

As a leader in our society, as well as a performer, I am consistently in the public eye. M was from a humble background, but they rose to fame in the performing arts through sheer hard work. I admired that about them. I loved them deeply, I still do, and I was never ashamed of that – but I have spent enough time around high society to know that they would not be so kind to an outsider, and M wanted to find success on their own merit without being judged for their relationship with me. So we mutually agreed to keep our relationship private. I thought we were safe, until the night M’s troupe made their debut at the city amphitheater.

I had to miss the performance due to work obligations, but when I arrived on the scene, they were already gone, their body unrecognizable. The backstage area was burning, the evidence vanished. Their spirit, which would normally linger around after a person has died, was nowhere to be found. They were just…gone. The person who made me happiest was gone. It was the most painful moment of my life, matched only by my mother’s death when I was young. I swore then and there I would bring the killer to justice, no matter the time, no matter the cost.

The police didn’t find much after the incident, only a few inconclusive pieces of evidence and witness interviews that led nowhere. Then again, they aren’t very good at their jobs, so I have to do everything myself around here. In this case, I was more than willing to do it. All I found out was that two of M’s coworkers, T (then 28M) and R (then 27M) had been present at the time of the murder, but even that story had some holes in it. After I gathered all the information I could, there was still a missing piece: R, who fled the scene as soon as he could. I thought that was as good as an admission of guilt. He became our prime suspect, but we couldn’t find him anywhere. T, on the other hand, cooperated, supported me in my grief, and gave me key information while I investigated the crime. We had met before, but it was during this time that he became my friend.

Fast forward a few years and my other mom, who rules over a different region, mentions something about having a baby with a man she met. We aren’t very close with her, but my sibling S thought this was some juicy gossip, so they asked who the father was…and who does she say but R. S told her who R was and how I’ve been looking for him for five years. Understandably, she was floored, agreed to cooperate with the investigation and took the baby somewhere far away from him to keep them safe. Meanwhile, I felt vindicated. Like I finally had a lead in this case that had gone nowhere. Finally, I was going to find my partner’s killer, and I would do everything in my power to make him pay.

Here is the start of where I think I might be TA. I had tried contacting R and his husband, but I couldn’t pinpoint their exact location. That is, until I remembered the baby. I didn’t know where R was, but I could transmit messages to him via magic (sort of. I don’t expect you to understand) so I made up hints for him and his husband about the baby’s whereabouts. I admit, I lied to him, but he murdered the person I loved, so I thought it was justified. He takes the bait and buys a ticket to the place where I led him, giving me his address in the process. I send police to his house, arrest him, and finally bring him in for questioning.

It was supposed to be an easy case, open and shut, except he wouldn’t answer any of my questions about what happened to M. Kept saying he didn’t know even when I used every method to convince him. Then his husband shows up looking for him, does an entire independent investigation, and interviews everyone again. To me, it seemed a waste of time, since R was clearly the culprit. I was sure of it.

R was, in fact, not the culprit.

While I was keeping R in jail, trying in vain to pry information out of him, T was lying to R’s husband about every detail of the incident. He lied about everything. For five years. The lie that got him caught? He had been keeping DNA from M’s body – the body that he burned – at his house like some kind of sick trophy, and it was R’s husband who found it during the investigation. Other new evidence suggests that he found out about my relationship, thought M wasn’t good enough for me, and was trying to replace them. Worse, and this may have just been loneliness, but I was starting to think I might have feelings for him too. He’s always cared about social status, which I found a little annoying, but I understood. I just never thought he would stoop so low.

I feel sick. I feel betrayed and used. All the information he gave me was to throw me off the scent. The T that I knew never existed. It was all a façade.

I am disgusted with him, but also with myself. I feel like this is all my fault. M is still gone, and knowing the killer’s identity will never change that. R has been through hell because of me, he still doesn’t have his baby, and my mom still thinks he’s a killer. It’s a horrible situation all around, but I’m supposed to be better than this, and yet I feel that I made it worse. I guess I just wrote this to feel that I’m not alone.

AITA?

[caddyheron]

Aaron hcs?

Wet cat of a man. Anyway

• Really fucked up from his relationship with Regina, more than he’d ever verbally tell people, but he’s also shit at hiding his emotions. Constantly on edge about how he’s being perceived all the time. When he’s with Cady at first, he tries to hide all his “flaws” to make him seem perfect.

• His flaws? He has anxiety, is allergic to most animals and is lactose intolerant. When Cady finds these out, their next date is to an aquarium and a place she knows that does really good alternative milk ice cream (his favourite is soy).

• Cady is obsessed with lions and cats in general and Aaron is allergic to them, she gets them matching Cat stuffed animals. His ginger and hers is a brown cat. He takes his everywhere.

• Following from this, Cady buys him a little catfish stuffed animal at the aquarium because Cady is a cat and he is a fish. (the mg discord server helped with this one last night and now their ship name has become “”catfish””).

• Loves soup. I think I’ve already spoken about this and his sensory issues from anxiety and now he eats the most plain foods ever. He also loves crackers, especially when he’s feeling Extra Bad. For this. damian calls him “Polly”, as in “Polly want a cracker”. (THAT’S COURTESY OF MY PARTNER. they had that hc in public and i was in tears it was so funny.) Aaron just accepts this nickname and doesn’t complain.

• He does a sport in every season. He’s mediocre at everything but he’s at least functionally okay at sports, so he does as many as he can, inside and outside of school.

• Eats ice cream from tubs and tubs only. No one can take this from me. He doesn’t ever get a cone. Also he only eats vanilla ice cream.

• He broke his wrist or arm once, probably when dating Regina and, because it wasn’t his writing hand, he just didn’t do anything about it. It hurt, but he didn’t realise it wasn’t supposed to hurt That Much.

• Has a little ally pride pin on his bag. While i hc Cady as straight, in the idea that she’s bi, he gets her a little bit pride pin to keep on her bag.

BONUS

[This is copy and pasted from discord which is why the formatting is weird but Aaron about masking plastics Cady]:

It’s such whiplash for aaron because he really likes cady as she is. just as cady. Cady who’s a bit off socially, the cady who likes hot chocolate and dresses in flannels and drinks from her water bottle and who’s mom packs her lunch. He doesn’t like the cady in make up he KNOWS is making her uncomfortable, or the short skirt she’s too cold in, or the fact she’s skipped lunch when he knows she gets more overwhelmed when she doesn’t eat enough. He can see right through the mask cady learned to create, even if cady can’t see it’s a mask yet. Cady, post fearless, is very aware of what she’s doing even though it’s a mask, it’s the same one regina wears. She’s the same cady underneath but it’s so deep now and aaron just. can’t. he can’t cope with watching cady slowly destroy herself to what. be liked? Aaron understands all the little intricacies of cady. He knows how to tell when she’s overwhelmed and when she’s upset and when she’s excited, but all these little details he recognises so easily are so suppressed when cady is masking and it’s so strange. watching cady like that. he can usually read cady like an open book because she’d never masked properly before then, she’d just been cady, but he can’t read plastics cady just like he could never read regina .

Feel free to send more asks!!!

[pocketramblr]

Ask Game : How about an au in where Manual is a Todoroki (Any type of relative)

oh, you mean like when i said Fuyumi should adopt Manual as her brother? Or when we just made Manual the oldest todoroki sibling here, here, (and then...) here? or the separate fic where he's the oldest sibling and also the personification of water and the water cycle itself? Or the series where Tensei and Masaki are Vampire Fuyumi's scions and they're members of the Todoroki clan?

Just kidding, im sure everyone who saw the family tree reblog knows which one i'll talk about here.

1- Masaki, eldest Todoroki Himura child, does not have the quirk his father wanted. He also did not have an ice quirk useful to the Himura family. But he is the eldest, and an eldest son at that, so he's still trained and included by the family. Growing up though, Masaki knows that he's not quite right, not quite what people wanted of him, and tries hard to overcome it. He trains, a lot. He studies the family tree the Himuara clan is so proud of, and then branches out more, as if that'll earn their approval. (he knows most of the whole chart ehehe)He trains to the point that he doesn't just have the ability to manipulate water, but create it too, as his parents create fire and ice. Unfortunately, he can only do this by drawing on his body's stores, so he ends up out of breath and dehydrated too easily when he tries, and wielding large amounts of water is terrible for finesse. Touya, a bright firecracker of a second son, is trained instead. He hurts himself in training too, but can keep going, unlike Masaki. Masaki eases off, still training, still going to be a hero, but giving his little brother more of a spotlight. He's satisfied with what he has. But his brother and father aren't.

2- Masaki stops caring about training with overwhelming power, and focuses on learning how to move small amounts of water with better grace. He dives into the detective part of the job, even as Enji largely neglects passing this on to Touya. He uses his weird knowledge of his family tree for connections- why does he keep getting invited to such high level meetings, missions, and parties?? oh well, you see, Captain Celebrity's sibling married one of Masaki's mom's siblings, so they're in-laws-in-laws, and Ryukyuu's uncle married another one of CC's siblings, so of course Masaki got an invite. He isn't even bragging about his connections, or using them for ill, he just shows up and if people ask why, he says it so matter of fact that they're like 'oh yeah of course, i mean if Manual were my cousin's cousin's aunt's neighbor i'd invite him too, cmon in man." It's amazing how most heroes are more likely to know how they and Masaki are connected than to be aware of the fact that Masaki is straight up Endeavor's son. He doesn't need to be networking this hard. he's doing it anyway. He likes, after all, to be treated normally. He just has a skewed view of normal- but i mean, so does Fuyumi! they're just different skewed views.

3- Sadly this is not a Tensaki au for the simple reason that on one of Endeavor's parent's side, Masaki is distantly related to the Iidas. Now that would not be a problem for literally anyone else, but Masaki took the advice of "if you know how closely you're related, you're too closely related and applied it to his life, not thinking that most people do not in fact have a full knowledge of all of their relatives up to tenth cousins four times removed, and a partial knowledge up to fifteenth six times removed. Tensei is bemused when Masaki asks him how the crawler vigilante is doing, since they never officially partnered, and even more so when Masaki explains "Oh, no, it's just that he's been mentored by my uncle Oguru, has my grandparent's speed quirk and he's like, sixth cousins with your mother, only three or four times removed, so i thought maybe he might have mentioned it to you. But i hope he's doing alright, seems like a good guy and i know that bee bombing thing last month was rough."

4- Masaki dyes his hair brown to look more normal, and because he feels like his natural pink hair clashes with his costume too much. (Hey wonder if all that sexism in the family maybe impacted his view of it too. He very much disapproves of Touya's actions and words but maybe he doesn't want a girly pink hair color either.) Anyway, he also didn't stay at his father's agency for clear reasons. Once his own agency is set up, Fuyumi asks him if he'd consider taking in Natsuo- because he's completely neglected by their father, mom's in the hospital still, touya's dead, and Fuyumi's busy with school, Enji, and Shoto. Masaki agrees, and Natsuo ends up going into school for logistics with a science minor, still considering med school later.

5- "hey uh pocket is dabi not touya here" well that chart was made before the reveal. by not a whole lot of time lol. So, MASAKI doesn't think Dabi is Touya. After all, Touya is Dead. and Dead People do not attack school camps and set trees on fire. Dabi is, therefore, infinitely more likely to actually be Masaki's half uncle- he's pretty sure there are other kids on the fire side of the family, and it gives him a reason for hating Endeavor and his kids so much. Masaki stands by this even as his other siblings start cottoning on to the true identity of the arsonist. He's too normal to believe Dabi could possibly be Touya. After Jakku, he gets a call from Tensei like "hey man, i just heard about the news and i'm so sorry, you know you helped me a lot with my brother and family mess so i'll help you with your brother and-" and Masaki goes "OH THANK YOU i know other things like Eraserhead cutting off his own leg are more important, but i cannot believe my uncle would steal my dead brother's identity like that, with that awful dance-" and Tensei is like 'ah, right.' and just... lets him rant a bit to feel better, before he sniffs and goes 'its actually touya, isn't it.'

[geewintg]

okay despite me hating on mlb for how they butchered the series' plot bad, I'm still kickin and gigglin over the halloween special LIKE

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

man, the alternate universe's characters slap in every bum. The role reversal with adrien and gabrielle, with how gabrielle was more accepting of his wife's lose while adrien was stuck on his mother's death and he hated his father for moving on. This dynamic made more sense in my opinion because adrien, a teenager, a boy who lost a mother-figure when he was young, would be bitter about the loss, not knowing how to cope yet with certain emotions and seeing his father who looked moved on already amplified it further because in this sense, it made him lonelier. Gabrielle would have prob tried to talk to him but knowing how the usual mentality of people in this age goes, they would stubbornly believe and cling onto their own wishes and wants, seeing his father's act of acceptance as betrayal and already forgetting about his mom. He doesn't have the mental and emotional maturity yet to cope with the loss hence he walked down the path which was clawnoir. Unlike in the orig series where gabrielle was the one hell-bent trying to get his wife back while adrien just wanted his father to spend time with him.

I mean, it's not like this dynamic did not make sense. It's just that I saw the appeal more with the role reversed as this is how things with the lost of a family member goes. AND CAN I JUST SAY,

IT HAS THE TROPE OF MR POPULAR HAVING A CRUSH ON A NORMAL BAKER GIRL AUGHHHGHHGH it's tickling my brain in all of its weak spots I CAN'T this is just so cute honestly

that act of "admiring you in a distance" is so 😩😩 PLEASE WE COULD HAVE SEEN MORE but then in their masked forms, it's "I'll punch your face the moment I get an opportunity" they fight so badly it's not even what you can say a banter, they fight with raw emotions that scrapes your ears like chalk scratching on a board exactly just like teens who are going through a lot and the moment they revealed their identities, there was a hint of comfort that clawnoir awkwardly tried to portray because in the end, he realized, they were just two people underneath the mask who have rough things they're going through, added the fact that emo!marinette said she'd wish to replace marinette of this universe just so she could experience the good things here (of course it's also the fact that she's his crush which was another major factor to consider but I wanna pretend that the former is the explanation for angst factor xd)

they literally had this enemies to lovers trope going on, partners who are only forced to cooperate by a higher rank but could care less about the other. Can I just say that the emo!duo had more character arc than our mains for so many seasons? In this little flashbacks and small trinkets of what happened in their world, we are able to see more depth to their characters and progression to their plot. If only we could have focused more on the emo au, I would have jumped right into that ship to sail me away! Instead, we got an ending that focused on the actual au that we have. LIKE I DO NOT GIVE AF! Would give anything to see about the father-son angst of the emo au instead, like imagine, having to see that you've been fighting your son all along and because gabrielle, being the way that he is, would be crushed knowing that his actions are partly responsible for his son's path to darkness

also, I wanna tackle about emo!marinette's, when she said

that means that these two never have been formally introduced but she showed her frustration about adrien agreste being a menace and arrogant. Meanwhile, adrien only talked about specifically being mean to nino. But it's prob a chloe-marinette dynamic with adrien being stuck up to everyone but only targeting nino specifically. That's why shadybug groaned when hearing adrien agreste despite having no one-on-one interaction with him because as we saw, he became timid when he saw her identity. There would be no way he'd harm her theoretically. He may have struck a conversation with her sure, but considering his already-bad reputation, emo!marinette would have thought of him as a bully much like chloe, knowing they're childhood friends and would want as much to avoid him (this is literally what happened in s1e1 with adrien trying to remove the gum off marinette's seat that chloe did) emo!marinette is basing it off on two-peas-in-a-pod friendship, plus with what he did to emo!nino, no doubt marinette would see it that way.

also! I just wanna add that what if, what if the emo!adrien is dressed like we see him as is because of marinette who took on the emo aesthetic (if we did not include the halloween special vibe lmao), he did that style in order to get close to her and to have some ground topic to start a conversation. People tend to stick with people of the same interests after all.

man, there's more I wanna say about this halloween special but let's leave it at that for today. I also wanna hear what you guys think about this special episode? Because honestly, there's so much potential for this au and the fics AUGHHH THE FICS JUST IMAGINE

[junebugwriter]

I guess I never had much of a chance.

I just started watching Jessie Gender on Youtube's essay about masculinity and... it hit like a goddamn truck. So much of what she talks about in her past so closely mirrors my own, it's downright eerie. Down to the fact that I was an Eagle Scout. Although, to be fair, it sounds like she had a much better time in it than I did, considering I never really made many friends in my boy scout troop, and I never worked any of the camps.

But to the point... I really did echo a lot of her experience. I tried my hardest to be a man. To live up to the ideals of masculinity that society enforces. But I was never going to be anything close to that. I was always too fat, too sensitive, too emotional, and too unathletic to ever be anything close to Western Masculinity (tm).

I did try though. I was desperate to be seen as something close to approaching masculine, but it came out in such strange ways.

For those who don't know me in person, I grew up in the United Methodist Church, quite literally. My dad was a pastor all his life, and that's the only life I knew growing up. As such, we lived life "in a fishbowl," as we'd call it. That means we were supposed to be the Model Family. Above all reproach, under all scrutiny. If any of us stepped out of line, we were going to be reprimanded for it. Do you folks on here have any idea what that does to a kid? My parents loved me, to be sure, and I bear them little ill will. They did their best under the circumstances. But we were a religious family in Texas. There's very little non-conformity afforded to us. My mother, God bless her, she already bucked tradition. She wasn't exactly feminine, mostly. Sure, she wore dresses, wore makeup, even went square dancing with my dad. But she had little time for the trappings of femininity, and only wore them under obligation. She did not enjoy being a pastor's spouse, for the most part. She endured it, for my Dad's sake, but she made no secret that she wasn't going to pretend to be some Stepford Wife bizarro Tammy Faye Bakker. Not her.

So I grew up with my dad, a uniquely anxious person, stressed about how me and my brother were going to make it. My dad was a pretty old-school guy, but at heart he was a bleeding heart liberal, as much as one could be in Texas in the 80's and 90's in religious circles. There's not a single Democratic president he didn't vote for. He was Democrat til he dies. Yet... that could never be public knowledge. Not in the church. Not in Texas. So already, we became bearers of secrets. Mom isn't a pastor's wife. Dad isn't a Republican. And so we were taught to bear our own secrets.

I'm neurodivergent. I have ADHD. And I am almost entirely incapable of telling a lie. (Ask my partner, she knows!) But little secrets... that was a matter of survival. Little secrets, for the benefit of the Image. Everyone has them, I learned. But God help you if your secrets ever got out.

So I learned, and learned, and learned some more. I'd ask questions, and to their credit my parents answered most of them truthfully, if they could. But there were some things you do not question.

One of them was gender. But I did not know that word.

How could I?

Not in that environment. Not in the fishbowl. Not in Texas. Not in the church.

Girls did x, boys did y, and that's that. Girls were x, boys were y, and that's it. End of discussion. Black and white.

There were signs I did not conform. I loved the show Barney and Friends... until I overheard kids at school call it a show for girls and little babies. Not a show for boys.

Overnight I stopped watching.

I used to sleep with a blanket every night. I loved, adored that little blanket. I found solace in Linus from Peanuts, and his little blue blanket. But my father chafed at its ever-presence. He never said anything against it, but he didn't have to. I could tell. So my mother, God bless her, she stitched me and my brother some pillows with fun animal designs on them. They substituted for the blanket. Father approved, as they had things like tigers and killer whales on them, which were Boy Approved (tm) things to like.

But then there was the ladybug puppet. It was a cute little stuffed ladybug that fit on my hand, and it even had an extra leg so as to be anatomically accurate. I slept with that every night.

Until my mother told me that dad didn't want me to do it anymore. He was worried it was too "feminine." And she said it in a very sing-song voice, a teasing tone I grew all too familiar with.

So into the closet the puppet went. And me with it.

I became hyper-vigilant about what could be perceived as "feminine" from there on out. I watched what I did like a hawk, trying never to ever raise the annoyance or ire of my dad or my peers. But it was never enough. As anyone who has ever had to play that game of gender chess, there was never going to be any chance for someone who is a trans girl to ever be anything but, even if they didn't know that was what they were.

I didn't hear the word "transgender" until I was in grad school. By then, I had already felt a call to ministry. By then, I had long ago locked up all gender nonconformity in a closet back when I was in grade school. I had lost an entire childhood, teenhood, early young adulthood. And by then, I felt like they described what being trans was like, as if it was for someone else. Glad I didn't deal with that issue!

But I did. I simply did not allow myself to question things. Did not allow myself to break the box I was put in as a child. Because I was a white guy, going to be a pastor. I figured I would just be that all my life.

Life has changed about three times since then. I only allowed myself to ask myself the hard gender questions in October of last year. I was 35. I'm turning 36 this next month.

I'm starting my life over again, a fourth time. But I'm actually looking forward to the future, for the first time in my entire life.

Because now it actually exists.

[fireemblems24]

Fire Emblem Engage 21 - 23

Spoilers for FE Engage beneath the cut. This game doesn't have the deepest cast, but all of them are pretty enjoyable and there's less that are just a single gimmick like in the old days.

Let me guess who the boss is for Ch 21. Some of the hounds?

Sombron trying to revive Atlantis is certainly a new villain motivation. Oh, now we're back to the typical stuff. He wants to invade other worlds also.

So I don't think we get Marni as a unit, but pretty sure we get Mauvier. And now sobstory incoming for Marni. She dead.

I really hope Griss doesn't get a last second sob story. I want him to just be an unhinged psychopath.

And, like, I buy Mauvier's behavior because we had a lead up to it. But Marni's been nothing but an unrepentant killer. Having a hard time caring at all about any of this. I want Alfred, Ivy, and the other rulers back.

I'm trying also to take this seriously that everyone here is chit-chatting instead of trying to kill each other lamo. Like, bitch!Veyle has tortured Marth and we're just watching her. (and Zephia and Griss).

Aw, man, I thought we were going to get Marth back :(

Alear's getting a Disney Death I see. Poor Alfred's so stressed. And Veyle, but I can't bring myself to care about her yet.

Are we losing the rings again? Aw, come on. 😭 Alear, you fucked up. I'm amazed Sombron didn't just wipe out Alear and co tbh. This is a bigger L than ch 10. At least Veyle is actually planning on killing all the heroes bc it's about time someone tried to actually kill each other in a cut scene.

Is this when Deus ex machina steps in? Because we lost the rings. Alear's dead. Veyle's evil again. And she's about to murder everyone else.

Oh, that's actually kinda cool. Alear's coming back as a corrupted. So not Deus ex machina. Since this was already established (Deus ex machina incoming to revert Alear back to human from a zombie).

Zombie!Alear didn't last long. Good voice acting though. It's obvious she'll come back. Which, that means she had two deaths in back-to-back chapters. Impressive? Is this the "miracle" thingy the emblems talked about once? Lamo. This plot. I swear. Ah, and the mom's ring.

But, hey, gotta say it's nice there's real consequences for what she does.

OMG her hair is all blue. Does it stay that way? Is it bad that I don't want it too? I'll miss the Pepsi and Colgate look.

Alear's the Fire Emblem. This is both ridiculously cheesy but also kinda awesome. I wasn't even looking for the "Fire Emblem," but I never would've guessed it was the MC lamo. All the past lords are simping. Do I get Alear as a ring though? Can I give it to Alfred?

The goofy hair is still here!! Yessss.

Alfred and Veyle's C support was hilarious. Mostly because of Alfred. Also, don't give him spicy food lol.

After some suggestions, I put Lyn on Alcryst and lamo. Alcryst + Brave Bow + Alacrity is just disgusting.

The hottest man in this game is Sigurd. This is an unarguable fact.

Is it me, or does Veyle build support REALLY fast?

Ok, but can you imagine your parents tell you that you have no choice, you must be X's retainer. And you expect some boring, stuffy, stuck-up noble - but instead - it's Alfred. 😅 I've seen people describe him as a "human golden retriever" and honestly, they're not wrong.

Ok, guys, I'm about to S-Support Alfred. The ring said it's your "trusted partner," so it might not be explicitly romantic, but as long as it's good, it'll stay my #1 ship in this game.

OMG, that was really cute. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Alfred essentially says he wants to be more than friends and gives Alear an embroidery piece that's basically a Firene royal engagement rite. Alear says she's felt that way about him since she first saw him. She puts the ring on his finger, and he straight up says "I love you." Shit's pretty explicit and furthers my "devs wanted you to pick Alfred" propaganda. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

So do the two hounds finally die?

Kinda annoyed Veyle replaced the royals, ngl. She's probably the only character I dislike, meanwhile Ivy and Alfred are my two favorites and Diamant and Timerra are both solid.

So the Hounds ARE finally dying. Finally. But why is Zephia helping us? Telling us about other shards? Also, why is Madonna/whore complex the character talking more than Alear now?

This last minute throw at sympathy for these two is wasted. Like, they were one-note evil before this, lamo. Even the game is like "this makes no sense, please ignore it" with Zephia's dialogue. I'd rather hear Amber talk more about alpacas.

Lamo, Alfred is surrounded by lava and he's like "look, a flower, isn't that amazing!" I love him.

More time wasted on the 2 hounds, though Griss faking dead so he can enjoy the pain is on point. Not even Timerra got this much dialogue.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles

4.25/5. Releases 3/7/2023.

Note: I was granted an audio ARC, and am reviewing the book with that in mind.

For when you're vibing with... Queer romance with a bit of mystery, a unique and transformative setting, "coming into your own as an adult" vibes, CRIME FAMILIES, and some good old-fashioned "we started out as hookup partners and oops now we're madly in love" shit.

Gareth, raised by an aunt and uncle who didn't love him and abandoned by his father in favor of a new family, has never been super confident. But he feels wanted when he's with "Kent", the man he's been meeting for anonymous sex for a week... until, that is, he fucks it up. Discovering that his father is dead and he's now a baronet is a worthy distraction, though he doesn't plan on staying at the marshy property he's inherited for long. Until he runs into Kent again--except Kent is actually Joss Doomsday, the up-and-coming leader of a family of powerful (and dangerous) smugglers. And though Gareth and Joss are initially on opposite sides, it quickly becomes apparent that the spark between them certainly hasn't died out... But pursuing it might put Gareth at odds with Joss's enemies.

I've finally tried K.J. Charles, and God, she's fucking good. This romance is well-written, hot, sweet, and accompanied by a mystery plot with stakes that I actually understood. Which is hard for me! (Was it really a mystery plot, or an imperiled lover plot that sort of involved mystery but was really about the obligations of being in a crime family and--)

Quick Takes:

--Joss Doomsday is one of my new favorite romance heroes, full stop. That doesn't mean I didn't love Gareth, because I totally did (and they're given solid division in terms of POV and characterization, which I liked--there was no "Gareth is the protagonist and Joss is the untouchable love interest", which has turned me off of some m/m romances I've read.). Gareth is funny, a bit hapless, extremely relatable in terms of trying to find his place in the world and sort of coming up with *shrug emoji*. But Joss is just... well, hot, obviously, but similarly relatable... in the fact that he does know his place, and his place involves being weighed down with familial expectations and responsibility. Gareth's journey in the book involves finding a family for the first time and taking on the mantle of responsibility despite growing up as a loner, whereas Joss's journey involves realizing that he can love and care for his family and call them out when they're wrong, and find things that belong to him and him alone. He's so very lovable.

Also, he was DEBAUCHED!!! By a pirate--I'm sorry, a PRIVATEER. How can I not love a guy who is like "well, he fucked me six ways from Sunday, so I guess he did debauch me". Joss I love your work.

--Speaking of families, there is so much good family drama in this book. You have Gareth's whole thing, as he slowly builds connections with his sister (who he never met before their father's death) and... his sister's aunt? Who became his father's mistress after Gareth's stepmother died? That was a character I truly loved. Gareth just needed a mom, y'all! Much of Gareth's issues involve struggling with understanding who his father was, and damn, if that doesn't resonate.

Joss's family issues were uh... more complicated, even. But the diversity of characters makes it feel all the more real. Good people fuck up. Bad people have human weaknesses. Everyone was delightfully fleshed out.

--I loved the world of the Marsh. There's a lot of like, descriptions of of flora and fauna (Gareth loves bugs, y'all) and the culture of this little community that's kind of heavily dependent on organized crime and layers of generation-crossing dynamics? It's remarkably rich, and not the type of atmosphere you see a lot of in historical romance right now. The layers of it all made it feel very real to me.

--This book had some of the loveliest loved confessions I've ever read--and at the same time, some of the messiest relationship dynamics, in the best possible way. We open on Joss and Gareth's last anonymous hookup, after which both assume they'll never see each other again, and once they do... There's a lot of bitter exes energy, which I'm personally very partial. That sniping, that tit for tat, that "well I NEVER" while they both desperately wanna fuck. It's Good Shit.

--As a heads up, there is period-accurate homophobia in this book (not a ton--both Joss and Gareth do have supportive relatives, but they also have not so supportive relatives). Joss and Gareth both fear being outed, that is a very real threat throughout. I don't think it's excessive; nor does it read like self-loathing from either man.

The Sex Stuff:

Hot. But also funny? But also hot. Again, we start out the gate with explicit sex, and there are several more instances of it. There are interesting conversations about the dynamics of their sex life, too--who's "in charge", who should be in top, what does it mean, does it mean anything? Joss likes to see Gareth naked while he's clothed, which is something I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVED. In many ways, this book is a great example of how sex can be character and sex can be plot. There were a couple of sex scenes in this book that don't really tie to story, but they do reveal things about Joss and Gareth and simply their relationship--I actually went back to listen to the first chapter again after the book was over, just to get that sense of Gareth and Joss's initial connection, shallow as it was, again--contrasting to their final sex scene.

But also, "FUCK ME LIKE YOUR PIRATE" and Joss joking about having Gareth's legs around his shoulders.... hot sex can also be funny sex, thank you K.J. Charles.

I'm super happy to see that there will be another Doomsday book--I loved the characters, and I loved this world. I want more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for providing me with a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.