#but the fact that hes just really fucking pretentious and annoying is why i dont like him

[oifaaa]

What has L done?

I mean off the top of my head he did illegally imprison 3 people and actively torture one of them but honestly I find the mouth noises he keeps making a bigger offence against me personally

[therosevest]

going to pointlessly ramble about the grammys just cause im annoyed and bored at work:

in no way is anti hero a song worthy of an award as stupid as the institution giving it might be. did a lot for fandom edits but stop giving that woman grammys just cause shes popular oh my god. that album sucked

ill keep these next two complaints separate. guts was fine but not good enough for album of the year are we kidding. i knew it was gonna happen and got preemptively a little bit mad. sorry olivia and her fans i love u girl but stop giving teenagers grammys it's really going to their heads. im tired. nowhere to be seen: the rise and fall of a midwest princess or javelin. ok. guts was better than harrys house as an album nominee by a decent amount... but not enough. come on.

boygenius being on there but not muna or chappell or paramore. once again. boring. sorry i still havent listened to the whole record but it's so obvious theyre getting up there because they had a lot of popularity skyrocketing this year and theyre the whitest/most vague and performative about their queerness. i am not saying the artists themselves and the way they behave is performative btw im just saying like. chappell has local drag queens at every tour date. muna brings out a variety of artists for their openers and brought a trans choir to one of their days at. wait was that in la. well regardless it was recent. im just saying they dont engage with the broader queer community as much like hurrah yay tits out but. be serious. they are not the best performers or lyricists.

i guess kill bill is fine as song of the year but the rest of these... why isnt speed drive on there if we're including barbie songs.

best new artist. im appalled chappell isnt there but whatever. as fine as his music seems im sick of hearing about this noah guy.

BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE. AND YOU PUT KARMA BY TAYLOR AND ICE SPICE. PLEASE BE SERIOUS. THAT WAS SO FORGETTABLE AND STUPID AND AWFUL. OH MY GOD WE'RE IN HELL SORRY TO BE DRAMATIC. FUCK OFF AND DIE I AM SO SICK OF SEEING THAT WOMANS NAME (sorry ice spice). WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS ONE THAT GOT AWAY NOT THERE (well apologies if it only counts feature songs usually...... whatever.)

the fact that fast car luke combs is on there. WHAT EXACTLY DID HE DO. HE TOOK A LESBIAN'S SONG AND SANG IT LIKE. OK. HE DID NOT WRITE THAT SHIT. IT'S NOT THAT GOOD OF A COVER. KYS!!!!

yeah whatever naturally charli wouldnt show up for best soundtrack on bottoms. and maybe it wasnt like THE best score ever but it was so much fun.

fast car is on here twice. im clenching my fists.

at least rush is on here i guess... why no other troye noms even.

best pop vocal album and u have olivia and taylor there. this is how u can tell pop music rn is in the shits. sorry. neither of them have bad voices theyre just singers not vocalists. not to be pretentious but if the whole category is about vocals.

i wont hate on them for this but olivia and boygenius are the only women you could come up with for the rock category. what about nova twins. ig their genre is weird but neither of them wholly fit it either. ok also their album is from 2022. whatever

best music video and they have rush but not got me started or whatever or one of your girls.... right. omg caroline rose is on here (not mv) i liked her one song

k well then theres a lot of others sorry to neglect but whatever. in conclusion. im sick. and tired.

[hella1975]

Hi hella now that it’s been a while I have to be honest.

I didn’t understand the last line in what I think is the most recent chapter, the one about picking from his fingernails. :(

I really really want to understand I LOVE your writing you’re just so talented ugh. Please explain it to me I want to understand so badly but I’m afraid I’m not as profound as everyone else.

hi anonstie!!!! thank u for the compliments <3 but please dont beat yourself up and say you're 'not as profound as everyone else', that's so unfair and also not true! one thing i love about my writing style is that it's very pretentious. it's the kind of style a hater would read and go 'what the fuck is she even saying'. and the fun of it is, even when im writing very specific metaphors, i tend to be so hand-wavey with my writing that you can interpret it any way you like! in fact, i actually think that's why so many people appeal to my writing, because i cover topics that a lot of people can relate to but i do it in a way that encompasses niche sub-experiences without actually getting into them, if that makes sense? idk i think it's v neat for something i dont actually do on purpose most of the time.

so the line you're on about is 'he would be picking his home from his fingernails all his life'. MY interpretation of that comes from a very personal habit, which just further solidifies what i said before about no single interpretation being the 'correct' interpretation, because otherwise id be expecting every single reader to just Know about a habit of mine, and that would be a bit weird lol. so this thing i do a lot for no particular reason is like... flick my nails? it's hard to explain but for example ill put my thumbnail under the nail of my middle finger on the same hand and just? flick it up? and it's basically the same mannerism as what a lot of people do when getting dirt out from under their nails but for me i just do it bc i find it satisfying. like my mum gets SO annoyed about it lmao. and so i was doing this one day and i got on a weird train of thought about how even though im constantly doing this, i still always manage to have dirt under my nails, and that's just very human i think. like it's a very subtle but universal truth of being alive that your body, in all its tiny ways, will show proof of that life. having dirt under your nails isn't fatal or dangerous or even incredibly bothersome, it's just a bit annoying and is a permanent upkeep we will ALWAYS have to do.

so yeah, for me, this line is zuko acknowledging that, even though he's healing, even in a future where he's entirely healed, he'll still hold tiny signs of his upbringing. he'll never entirely be washed clean of it. but in a very quiet, inexplicable way, that's also a little comforting, because it just shows he's human enough to be troubled by it.

however i also had people in the comments telling me what that line meant to THEM, and they are just as right in their interpretations as i am. im truly someone who believes in readers each having their own take on lines. there's no 'wrong' interpretation. go with whatever YOU think it means.

[asscrackcreed]

breaking down this fic for no reason other than im bored - i stopped at chapter 24 i cant do this in one go so maybe a part 1

its such a white perspective clearly because malik doesnt come home from a party and after panicking that his mums gonna kill him she doesnt say anything and ??? idk the fact that they drink they’re not religious in any way shape or form despite the fact that religions especially islam have a heavy cultural impact so theres no excuse as to why hes a complete atheist. ik this fic was made in 2014 but damn these ppl hate muslims fr we never get rep in fics??? anyways altaïr is a complete homophobe and has a little flirty banter with des but thats his cousin ? uhm. des is like ‘no dont be homophobic’ and then says ‘nvm ur not relevant enough to be cancelled’ thats just chapter 1 btw

malik has a blog where he shits on altaïr and he made it after accidentally sleeping with him because uhm he has nothing better to do… this is so OOC even if altaïr is a complete homophobe and misogynist i cant see malik make an anonymous blog and everything to call out his immorality… PURELY for his immorality its not like a tumblr blog he made sassbadgers just to shit on altaïr… and then he has a moment where he responds to an altaïr stan, she says hey women are made for men and malik was like i dont believe in any religions so im not responding to that but thats an L for you anyways cuz wtf

ok but islam literally says that women are humans and shouldnt be treated like sexual objects wtf do u mean ? this is a basic principle? youre mum is muslim? hello.?

HE WAS BORN WHERE.

then he continues to laugh at said delusion fan for thinking shes married to altaïr… i know ppl like that are real… but this adds nothing to the story and given 2014 the whole ‘women getting involved in my gay ship’ drives me insane

this series does not have to be 75 chapters btw its full of fillers and irrelevant shit like why do i need to read about malik getting on the bus texting kadar for giggles idgaf

altaïr likes christmas but hes not religious my man ur dad was muslim and ur family did nothing to uphold that? huh? are they all islamophobes?

why does malik keep referring to altaïr as Mr Ibn-La’Ahad if he has no respect for him why is he addressing this guy appropriately just call him a bitch and get it over with

malik in this fic is a pretentious bitch. stop using big words just cuss him out and go taking so much time just to tell me kadar cant read big words - chapter 6 btw

leonardo and malik being roommates is cute tho i’ll give them that - at some point leo has a crush on malik i think to stir the tea but it doesnt work because… they’re too alike in this fic? they finish each other’s sentences type of alike not every gay man needs to date each other fuck sake

WHY IS MALIK TELLING KADAR ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE IS THAT NORMAL… I DONT TELL NAT ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I DO EW and why does kadar keep asking ‘when are u gonna tell mum’ this really really really fucking annoys me as someone with a religious mum can kadar stfu shit like coming out to someone who doesnt seem alright with it is practically dangerous?????

yk how ppl said altaïr was aloof for not catching on al mualims evil plans - yeah they seemed to really fucking run with this trope good god hes so dumb its pissing me off this isnt altaïr - he says hes not bothered to take care of his stock shares or whatever ??? the source of their grandmas wealth HUH… tf do u mean ik its pre development altaïr but he wasnt neglecting responsibilities he was just a huge fucking asshole that fucked up cuz of his ego so what is going on here

im not reading this shit theres SOOOOOO many convos and NOOOOOOTTHIIINNGGG HAPPPEENNNIIIIINNGGGG

so altaïr thinks the writer behind sassbadger is a woman and is tryna flirt with ‘her’ its funny and i like it tbh but shit drags so slowly ffs

ig they’re falling in love but altaïr and malik message eachother about how maliks being nicer to him… but the reason is so dumb ‘because u purposefully make videos for ppl to laugh at u how can u be okay with that?’ what. isnt he homophobic and misogynistic what are u talking about. how is that a reason to be nicer either shit on him or stfu

also it doesnt make sense if u dont like someone esp because of their morals then… u wouldn’t interact with them on a happy social level i dont like that maliks already like bantering with him

Malik: Hey

Leo: Hey!

Malik: Sex?

Leo: Weren’t u meant to be studying

Malik: Well Im not

maybe im nitpicking rn but man the sex is so awkward like no foreplay? no setting the mood? the little convos dont make sense like if hes asking for sex hes clearly not… gonna study…? like what this author is so OOC with everyone

DES EZIO MALIK AND INTERNET PPL KEEP TELLING HIM TO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND HIS RESPONSE IS ‘im not gay! i dont like gays! keep ur dick away from me!’ wheres the critical altaïr gone this isn’t fun to read the writing itself isnt bad its just like… so much and so little happening at the same time why dont you tell me how hes so afraid of being gay instead of telling me ezio is an ‘ally’

why did they make maria thorpe… posh? is it cuz shes british?

if altaïr and malik are falling in love in chapter 15 wtf is gonna happen for the other 60 chapters ???

altaïr slept with claudias friends ? that feels weird uhm

also i forgot to say malik ended up moving in with leo or smth and then he was like no im going home i didnt quite pick up why maybe i was scrolling too fast but do u see what i mean? so much stalling that adds nothing to the story

the world building was going well it was really interesting seeing how the family works idk why they villanised giovanni but yk whatever william miles was a shit dad and des ran away to his grandma who cut william out of the will and giovanni took williams side cuz des was ‘being a lazy boy’ so he got cut out too and despite the auditores being rich and having 4 production companies to their name they’re still assholes who treat des like shit except for ezio and claudia now altaïr wants justice

see? going well interesting story so why tf are they making altaïr exotic and saying he knows 10 languages ffs - ‘English, Arabic, Hebrew, Spanish, German, Italian, French, Russian, enough Finnish to ask directions and very little Korean.’ i wonder why they’re all (but two) european languages… what does he need to do with all those languages tf how exotic

ok so uhm altaïr fought ezio cuz of the whole des thing uhm very counterproductive but now they have matching lips scars. this is so silly thats the only word i can think ezio wasnt even involved with des’ situation even ezios like wtf are u attacking me for i… is this the only way altaïr could get a scar? tf

again kadar doesnt need to tell his brother hes gonna masturbate tf is wrong with this author

kadar liking a muslim girl is nice tho

??? ITS RAMADAN? YOU CANT HAVE SEX IT BREAKS THE FAST… if it was during the night it’d be fine just have a shower asap but i mean. COME ON.

ik altaïrs not religious but he eats ham…

how does the author know all these words… wdym ‘surah’ dont tell me the authors muslim

whys altaïr fighting ezio AGAIN weve established it doesnt help anything

[aoifeanamadan]

After School Special

Fandom: Minecraft YouTube rpf (mcyt)

Word count: 6488

Relationship: DreamNotFound (DreamxGeorgeNotFound)

Summary:

The sky is blue, the sun is hot and Dream hates George.

Everyone knew Dream hated him, really hated him, all smug and sarcastic and closed off. Where Dream was friendly, loud and outgoing, George was quiet and pretentious. It was like he thought he was above everyone else.

Needless to say, neither of them were over the moon when they found out they had to spend two months working together in weekend detention.

Support this work on AO3 :)

Chapter Three: Rusty Swings

Dream was a winner, it was what he did. Ever since he was a kid, losing had always felt unnatural. It was wrong on a molecular level. The shame of it, the loss of control.

When he was younger, he used to challenge his older brother to wrestling matches. His brother thought it was fun, just some rough and tumbling. Dream on the other hand, Dream treated it like the Olympics. He would abandon any kind of formality if it meant he would win.

He would kick and scream, clawing and biting his brother. He ignored the feeling of skin under his nails, just focusing on winning. After the first few times, Dream’s brother stopped saying yes when Dream asked to wrestle. He counted that as a win.

He had the same spirit when it came to soccer. He had captained the school’s team to two state championship victories in two years. The entire school knew him, the entire state. They were the best team, in every soccer team of the entire state. They were winners.

It wasn’t all him, they were a great team, but Dream elevated them. When Dream got better, he brought everyone else along with him.

When college scouts came to watch their games, they were there to see Dream. But they couldn’t ignore the rest of the team. They worked as a unit, weaving and dodging as if they were all a part of one common entity.

Soccer was Dream’s life. He had been playing since he was a kid. It was easy. When he was playing soccer, he knew what he was doing. There were no big decisions to make, it was just get the ball in the net. It was as natural and breathing.

His talent was a huge added bonus, but even without it Dream thought he would still be playing.

Soccer was Dream’s life, but he now had other commitments. Well, one other commitment.

George.

More specifically, trying to figure out how to tell George he was going to need to reschedule the mandatory time they were meant to spend together. George was, in fact, the one who had managed to broker the weekend slots. He had saved the both of them from having to stay back after school three times a week. And, he had done it just so Dream would be able to keep going to his soccer training.

Considering all of this, it really was an annoying oversight that the soccer team had a training session scheduled for the exact time Dream and George had agreed to meet up. The fact that Dream had been the one to schedule it last month made it even more annoying.

So, Dream thought he justifiably worried about asking him to further change the arranged time. He had spent almost four days trying to figure out what to say, and how to say it without sounding like he was spitting in George’s face, when it struck him. The solution was so painfully obvious.

Dream was nothing if not consistent. He did the exact same thing he always did, the same thing he had always done. Lying on his bed, throwing his balled-up socks into a drawer across the room, he texted Sapnap.

Dream (10:41 am)

Ft?

Sapnap’s name was on his screen in seconds. Dream accepted the call.

“Sapnap, please help me.” Sapnap didn’t flinch. He just smiled warmly down the phone, a quiet giggle passing through the speaker.

“Okay Dreamie-Boy, calm it down. Whatever it is, it is not the end of the world. Chillax.” Sapnap had never stopped using chillax as if it was a regular verb, not since he started in 2011. Dream decided that right then was not the time to mention it - even if he wanted to.

“I can’t figure out how to reschedule with George.” Sapnap’s bark of laughter was not reassuring in the slightest.

“What?” Dream didn’t like the glee coming from Sapnap’s voice.

“I can’t figure out how to tell him I need to change our meeting time!” Dream hated the way his voice whined. “Dude.” Despite his best efforts to hang onto his panic, Dream felt the calm seeping in. The familiarity, it was an inevitable comfort. Sapnap continued. “You are a senior. ” “And?” Dream tried to throw one of his washed pairs of socks into the open drawer across his room. He missed. “I swear, sometimes you act ten years old.” His words were laced with annoyance but on his phone screen, Dream could see Sapnap smiling. He rolled his eyes. “Well, what do I do , Sapnap?” Instead of an answer, Dream was met with a change of scenery. His phone screen went to a close up of Sapnap’s face, to a blurry screen saying Paused. Sapnap had paused him to go to some other app on his phone.

“Chillax, and-” Dream’s frustration tipped over the edge.

“ Chillax is not a real word! Stop saying Chillax!” Dream groaned as another pair of socks missed his drawer. “Okay, well, hurtful. I know you don’t mean that. And I’ve texted George.” Dream froze.

“You what?” His words were full of warning. Saapnap either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“I just texted him, just there!”

“Sapnap! What the fuck? What did you even say? Oh my god, why would you do that?”  Dream was cut off by a telltale ding emitting from his phone. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move.

“I heard that!” Sapnap’s singsong taunt came from Dream’s screen.

George (10:48 am)

Cool

“Anything to say?” In FaceTime, Sapnap’s face was getting too close to the camera. Dream had to suppress his smile, he had to deal with George.

“Yeah, fuck you. And George says it’s cool.”

“Fuck you do, Dreamie-Weemie, Sapnap works his magic again!”  Dream let his smile pass through, barely. Begrudgingly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Sapnap was laughing as he hung up the phone. Dream was left alone with George’s text. He figured it was polite to reply.

Dream (10:49 am)

Sorry for not texting you myself

George’s reply was whizzing through the air in seconds

George (10:49 am)

its fine

Despite his common sense, Dream found himself replying. Every time George texted a reply, no matter how dry, how unenthusiastic, he kept trying to keep the conversation going. Eventually, he all but forced George out of his virtual shell.

Even as he was getting into Sapnap’s truck over an hour later, his face was stuck in his phone, in the conversation he had coaxed George into.

George (12:09 pm)

iron man will always be the best superhero. the whole mcu was built on his back that's just common sense

Dream (12:09 pm)

You sound like a nerd

George (12:10 pm)

well dont be rude

Dream (12:10 pm)

ughhh you sound like bad

You’d probably love him actually

George (12:11 pm)

Dream?

Dream didn’t think before replying

Dream (12:11 pm)

yeah ?

George (12:11 pm)

you know me and bad are like good friends

Dream ignored his burning cheeks as he got out of Sapnap’s truck and approached the soccer team. He had not known that.

The team were ready to go, as usual. They were dedicated kids. Dream had them running laps once he put his bag, and phone, in the changing room.

They were midway through a practice match, half of the team versus the other half, when Dream noticed him. George was leaning on the edge of the fence surrounding the pitch. He was early.

For Dream, an audience didn’t change his performance. He was good, he was always good. Behind all the training and technique was pure talent. A lot of the time, other players’ would bring along their girlfriends or some of their friends to hang around the training. Dream couldn’t have given less of a shit.

But there during that practice match, Dream felt something new. He hadn’t felt it at the State Championship. He hadn’t felt it when the scouts were analysing him. He hadn’t even felt it in his first-ever game back when he was 6 years of age. It was a kind of pressure, light and inconsequential. It was George’s eyes on him.

Normally when he was playing, there was a kind of understanding. The scouts knew he was good, the girlfriends and parents, the friends and families, the teachers, the coaches, even the other teams. They all knew Dream was good. They all expected him to play well. George was different. George didn’t give a shit what Dream was doing. He barely glanced at him. Somehow, the boy was more interested in his phone than Dream’s quest towards a hat trick.

He didn’t mind it, not really. It was just new. It was as if someone had gotten inside his mind and moved all the furniture ten centimetres to the left. If anything, he appreciated it. It kept him on his toes, gave him something to prove. It was another chance to see if he could up his game. Anytime he felt George’s eyes on him, it made him run faster, kick further, push harder.

The time went quick, and before long it was all over. Dream’s team had pummeled Sapnap’s, except for one goal. Sapnap had seen Dream’s weakness, he had stolen the ball right from under Dream when he was glancing over to see if George was looking.

After the handshakes, the water mixed with good-natured teasing, the lightening speed showers, Dream was left alone. His hair was dripping onto the hoodie he had pulled on. He was the last one in the changing room, he always was.

He told everyone it was because he was the captain. If anyone ever needed to talk, there was a sure place they could catch him alone. All they had to do was run back, claim a forgotten boot or hat, and he’d be there.

That was a part of it undoubtedly. But, if you stripped the layers back, peeled Dream’s skin away to look down at his pulsing core, you’d have seen privacy above all else. He kept to himself, minded his business. Other than Sapnap and Bad, no one fully knew him. And even that was pushing it. Sapnap and Bad knew the version of him that he showed. They saw some bad bits, but they’d never see the Dream that he hid.

They wouldn’t know the Dream that scrolled through Instagram on a Sunday night. They’d never know the Dream who cried when his toast got burned on a particularly stressful morning.

They saw him, the real him, but only the entertaining parts. They saw the anger and the tears, the elation and the subsequent fall, but they never saw him be boring.

If someone’s boring, they can be left. It’s easy to leave someone you don’t care about, and it’s easy to not care about someone boring.

So Dream let them see him, the real him, but only when it was entertaining. No one saw him alone in his room, watching podcasts on YouTube and folding his washing. That was the kind of person it was easy to leave. He couldn’t be that.

He kept it all to himself, the parts that didn’t fit into the Dream personality. Anything that didn’t match ‘State Champion Captain’. Anything that didn’t scream ‘Golden Boy’ was for his eyes only. No one can ruin something they don’t know about.

Dream was able to change his clothes quickly. He brought his body wash from home and he didn’t wash his hair. But, apparently, he wasn’t fast enough. Before he had his shoes back on, George was barging in, Sapnap trailing behind him.

“Sorry, I did try and stop him.” The grin on Sapnap’s face told a different story. Dream just rolled his eyes, grabbing his gear bag and leaving. They didn’t follow him out the door, but the room echoed. He could hear talking, mainly Sapnap.

“Wherever you guys end up going today, can you keep an eye on Dream? The adrenaline from training hypes him up too much. He might say something stupid and get punched.”

It was nice, to hear such solid proof that Sapnap knew him in the best way Dream would let him, that he cared so loudly.

“Oh, I get to see Dream being punched?”

George promptly snapped Dream out of his appreciation. Before Dream could move away from the door, they were walking on top of him. George’s smile dropped when he saw Dream eavesdropping, but Sapnap’s got bigger. He swiped for Dream. Despite Dream’s aching legs and exhausted lungs, he managed to dodge. Before Sapnap could swipe again, he was jogging towards the truck.

While Sapnap chased him, screaming about his stalker tendencies, George looked away, following slowly behind them. He had the decency to blush, slightly. Maybe manners weren’t completely dead just yet. Sapnap said his goodbyes before Dream could beg for a lift. He said he had ‘ errands to run ’. Which errands fell on the shoulders of an 18-year-old boy, Dream didn’t know.

Suddenly, it was all real. It was just George and Dream, staring at each other on an empty soccer pitch. Any words Dream tried to force out died in his throat. These were uncharted waters, George and him alone and civil.

To be George’s enemy was easy, but this new thing. This budding acquaintanceship. It was more complicated. It was so much easier to just go back to how it was, bitter and stinging. It was like a wound that had scabbed over, and Dream could never resist picking at a scab.

“Why are you here, George?” His tone was harsher than he intended, a cold contrast to the playful banter he had with Sapnap. Dream tried to ignore the split second of hurt he could see on George’s face.

“Sapnap got the time wrong.” George’s face was closed off again quickly. Dream felt guilt knocking at the door of his morality. He turned the key in the lock, determined to keep it out.

“Oh.” Dream hoped George couldn’t read minds. Because if he could, he would be able to see the way Dream’s conscience was floundering. This vague hatred was a lot less comforting when alone with someone.

Before Dream could ponder on George’s telepathic capabilities for too long, he was walking away. George’s back had turned on him.

Before Dream could make his protests known, George had turned his head in Dream’s direction.

“Come on, it looks like rain.” Dream glanced up, the sky was clear. He didn’t mention it. Instead, he followed George as he walked to the bus stop.

George took him to a café. It was a small place, quaint and cosy. The outside was a murky turquoise with glass panes everywhere. A pretentious coffee house. Dream thought it was a bit on the nose, even for George.

A tip jar was knocked over while George was ordering their drinks. Dream could hear the harsh clatter from the isolated table he had snagged them in the furthest corner. George’s face was burning red when he sat down with his americano and Dream’s hot chocolate, no marshmallows extra cream.

While George retrieved his things from his shoulder bag, folders, paper, pens, Dream started to think about the assignment. They were more complicated than they seemed, the speeches and the boys. The speeches had to have a five-page accompanying essay to explain how cooperation was beneficial, and to support all the points made in the five-minute speech. That was a page per speaking minute, if Dream’s maths was correct.

He tried to think, to plan how to go about it all. It was harder than he had expected. Most of what they had done the first day had turned out to be useless, upon Dream’s inspection when he got home. Before he could reach his epiphany, George was tearing him away from his introspection.

“I swear, if you keep doing that, I’m going to sew your eyelids to your kneecaps.”

Dream looked blankly at him, frozen in his confusion. George didn’t lessen up.

“Tapping your pen against the glass. Stop it.”

Dream hadn’t even realised he was doing it, an old nervous habit. Or it would have been, if Dream was the kind of person to get nervous.

He and George sat there, staring at each other. George didn’t look as embarrassed as Dream wanted him to. Dream didn’t look as sorry as George wanted him to.

“Please.” George looked like he had to force the word out of his mouth. The same George as always. Dream rolled his eyes, but he put down the pen.

“So,” Dream started them off. He was past the stage of letting any awkwardness seep in. “The speeches.” It took George a second to catch up, his mind was still at the counter where he had picked up all the coins individually.

“The speeches.”

The place to start seemed obvious to Dream,

“Tell me about yourself.”

George looked up at him, curious eyes and slouched spine. One of his eyebrows, just one, shot up. Dream rushed to clarify.

“I mean, for the speech. So I can write the speech.” George’s face didn’t change with the explanation. It was still staring at him from across the shitty coffee table. His brow was furrowed and his smile was appearing out of nowhere, slowly. Dream hated it. It was all so jarringly new, having someone in front of him who he couldn’t read.

George had this new kind of power over him. He’d felt it during the soccer training but here it was so much clearer. In the air between them, Dream was sure it would suffocate them both, that mantra of ‘what is he thinking ’, over and over. A constant roar. He was certain George could feel it too, he was giving himself away.

This wasn’t how Dream was meant to act. Dream was confident and collected, funny and commanding. Dream was the captain of the state goddamn champion team. Dream wasn’t on the edge of his seat, waiting to hear what George was going to say.

Before Dream could think himself off a cliff, George was breaking in.

“I fold my socks.” It seemed like a simple thing, but it stopped Dream mid-thought. It disarmed him completely.

Later, he would realise it was the idea that George did things that Dream didn’t know about that had caught him so off-guard. It was the realisation that Dream didn’t understand him as well as he thought he did, that he hated someone he barely knew.

From there, it got easier. George knew all the words to Doja Cat’s “Say So”. Dream had accidentally become a bit of a Barb, a title he had to explain to George, after his sister went through a Nicki Minaj stage. George pirated films from the internet. Dream had been leeching off his aunt’s Netflix for years. Dream thought zodiacs were stupid, but he always found himself looking his up. George loved astrology. They both liked the stars.

George proved Dream’s hypothesis from their meeting, the one held the previous week in Sapnap’s house. George was actually funny, and Dream didn’t mind being around him.

Eventually, George noticed the barista’s eyes shooting them daggers. Apparently, ordering a hot chocolate and an americano is not enough to warrant an hour of sitting time. They had to leave. George shouldered his bag and nudged Dream. He was trying to suppress his smile. It was all so different to the George Dream had known.

“Come on, let’s go.” He was already standing. Dream nodded up at him.

“Better to leave than to get kicked out.” George’s smile lessened.

“Is it?”

They walked through the streets, excited in a boring place.

They ended up in front of one of the city’s deserted playgrounds. No one wanted their kids to play somewhere you could find needles. Once he saw the empty swing set, Dream was running. George was zipping quick behind him.

Once they were on a swing set together, the competition was inevitable. Dream was swinging higher than George, but George was trying his best to dispute that.

Dream was throwing his full body weight into the swing, feeling his heels skitting along the floor, his legs careening through the air. He figured this must be what it feels like to fall, to jump. This floating feeling in his stomach, the lurch of it all. It must be what it feels like to fly.

George’s gleeful shrieks covered up the warning creaks of the rusty swing set. Dream wasn’t used to this kind openness around him. It was all so new, the giddiness. He tried to shift his swing into George’s path, the way his sisters used to when he was a few years younger. He got a slight kick in the back in response, but it was enough to dethrone him. He was left sprawled on the floor, George cackling behind him.

The time went too fast. Before long, they had tried everything in the playground. Dream was too tall for half of them, but he tried anyway. When he had stood on the swings, trying to copy George, he had banged his head on the bar supporting them. He could walk while doing the monkey bars.

They were back on the swings before long, swaying more than swinging. George was trying to make his swing work without any movement from him. Dream’s swing was drifting left and right. He didn’t do anything to put it back on the straight and narrow.

Dream’s mind was eating at him. The logic of it all didn’t add up. This was George, George , and George hated him. So why was he here, an hour over their mandatory time, on a rusty set of swings with him. Having fun, together.

“George?” The chains of the swing crossed over each other, trapping Dream between them. He threw his body weight the opposite way to free himself. A slow final battle.

“Dream.” George was looking at him, the same way he had been back in the café. All open eyes and open heart. Dream hated it.

“You hate me.” It wasn’t a question, Dream couldn’t bare a question. He just said it, hoping George understood.

George hummed in response, eyes locked on his shoelaces.

“I don’t.”

And that was it, that was what Dream was afraid of. This was skydiving without the parachute, he was freewheeling. Here he was vulnerable, here he was showing a soft spot. It was weakness.

He had always hated George, since age ten. And the reason, the pit of it all, it had always been because George hated him first . And George had kept hating him, for the last eight years. Without that, there was nothing there. Their hatred was the only thing binding them. But, it was apparently one-sided.

“Oh.” It was strangled. It was all Dream could manage.

“I could never do it.” George was still looking at him, unreadable. Always so unreadable.

“What?” Dream couldn’t look back at him. His eyes were locked on the soft ground below him. His voice was too strained.

“Hate you.” George’s voice showed no strain at all.

Dream hated the muffled ‘ Hmm ’ that left his throat in response. He didn’t understand how George could just say it.

Dream swung wordlessly, back and forth. Before the words had even entered his brain they were bubbling out of his mouth.

“Same.” It wasn’t eloquent, but George’s face showed that he understood. He had never hated him, not truly. Not in the real way, the irreversible way.

They were quiet then, just swinging together. George’s voice broke through the blanket of sedative still.

“You’re definitely not how I thought you were.”

Dream jumped at the opportunity.

“How did you think I was?”

George thought Dream was cocky. All he did was talk shit, and he could never back it up. Dream was quick to point out the two-state champion trophies his team had one, but George shook his head.

“No, not like that. I mean like, outside of sport.”

He was loud in class, talking over the quiet kids. And he never smiled at strangers in the halls. He never had his homework done on time, and he never got in trouble for it. He was mean, rough around the edges. George didn’t say cruel, but Dream could hear him thinking it.

He had figured that was what George thought he was - tough, angry, mean. But his edges weren’t that worn yet, he hadn’t learned enough to be tough.

He wanted to climb inside George’s skull and rearrange the pieces, sort it all out. It was true, a lot of what George said, but he wasn’t cruel. He was never cruel. He didn’t mean to talk over people, he was excitable. He didn’t notice the people in the halls, or the favouritism from the teachers

Above all, George thought he was fake. The act he put on, the loudness and confidence. He didn’t believe it.

Dream had thought the same about George. Alongside elitist, pretentious and stuck up. Also, plainwell rude. George listened as he explained it all.

“I just thought you thought you were like-” Dream looked up at the sky, letting his legs tilt-up above his body. He could feel blood rushing to his ears. “I don’t know. Like you acted like you were better than everyone else.”

George snorted. Dream’s head snapped towards him, incredulous.

“Kettle calling the pot!” George was smiling despite it all. It made Dream laugh as well.

“Actually though, why don’t you ever get involved? Like, ever.” Dream sat back up properly on his swing.

George just shrugged.

“I'd feel safer facing off a fucking pack of wolves."  George’s voice was quiet, heading straight towards the ground. His feet kicked against the dirt. The swing wobbled.

Dream didn’t say anything, he didn’t think it was his place. He had never thought anything like that, it had never crossed his mind. He was Dream, being self-conscious wasn’t in his DNA. He wouldn’t have been able to bare it, the separateness of it all. He wouldn’t have been able to look in through the window at school life from the outside. But the way George was talking, muted and thoughtful, it made him want to understand.

Before he could think up a response, George was nudging his ankle.

“Come on, we should go. Before the sun sets.” George got up, started to collect his things.

Dream hadn’t noticed the shortening Autumn sunsets. He grabbed George’s sleeve.

“Watch,” he breathed, sacred. George’s limbs slowed, sinking him back to his swing.

Together, they watched the sun setting. The airy blues fading to dusty pinks, heavy orange. Before the sky was black, George was dragging Dream with him, mutters of Well, I’m not going to get mugged tonight Dream.

They ended up in the library, underused and underfunded.

Dream followed him inside, straight past the glaring librarian and up the stairs. He wasn’t used to it, following someone. Especially not George. But he knew the way and Dream didn’t, so he walked quietly behind him.

They turned a corner, and there they were. They were standing in a long corridor of computers, old and dusty. Dream wasn’t sure if it counted as a corridor, there was a wall at the other end, where the other opening should have been. There were long continuous desks on the two walls, and a computer every meter. They made the room thin enough to make them have to stand single file. He was practically standing on top of George, his toes brushing against George's heels.

Out of nowhere, George turned towards him. Dream flinched more than he would’ve wanted. They were left there, in the silence, George staring straight at him. Dream was a deer in headlights. He didn’t dare to move. They were barely inches apart.

“Dream, the door.” George’s voice was raspier in a whisper. His face was so close, Dream swore he could count the boy’s freckle. His lungs were burning, he had forgotten to keep breathing.  “Dream?” George’s voice snapped him out of it.

“Right. Yes. The door.” He spun around, reaching for a doorknob to shut them inside the one ended corridor, but he was met with an empty space. There was no door. He heard George sigh in frustration. Dream felt his ears burning, he hated it.

“There’s no door.” He whispered it into the silence in front of him. George laughed, muted and soft.

“Here, show.” George tried to worm his way past Dream to get to the door, but the corridor was too narrow. His elbows banged into Dream’s gangly limbs, his knee hit the desk. His whispered shit came at the same time as the bang. They both froze, ears straining for any kind of ‘shhhh’ coming from downstairs. Nothing came. Either they both had bad hearing, or they were in the clear.

George managed to shove his way past a blushing Dream, where he easily grabbed the sliding glass door.

“Bullshit,” Dream muttered as George came back down the corridor towards him. George’s small, airy laugh accompanied the sound of Windows 8 booting up.

“Come on, get a seat. We’re under time pressure. I didn't expect you to be here for this.” One of the old computers was loading up a chess website.

“Wait, explain what’s going on now so you don’t have to midway through-” Dream paused. He didn’t know if whatever George was doing actually had a midpoint. “- midway through whatever you're doing.” Dream ignored George’s rolling eyes.

“Speed chess. Chess plus speed. Not hard to figure out Dreamer.”

Dream didn’t think George had noticed his quiet nickname, it made his heart stutter.

“Speed chess?” Dream looked at the screen. Rightfully so, there was a chessboard on it.

“Speed chess.” George pressed start.

Dream watched the pieces move, whizzing across the screen. It was like soccer, the speed of it all. The pace. Dream loved the quickness. Before he could catch his bearings, there was a banner on the screen and a smiling George was talking.

“So, that’s speed chess. But now I have to play an actual game. Against an actual person. It’s a tournament, every week. Normally it’s after school, but it got moved this week. And, Dream, I swear to god if you ruin this for me-”  Dream cut him off before he could finish the thought. He knew George well enough now to know where it was going.

“I know, I know, you’ll kill me, no one will ever find my body, blah blah blah.” Dream ignored the way his heart lit up when George laughed.

George logged in and hit start.

Dream didn’t know anything about chess, he had never played and he never planned to. But he didn’t need to be a genius to tell that after a minute, George was losing. It was the furrow of his brow, the frown line set in his skin. It gave him away.

"You...do not look happy." Dream didn’t know how to help him, but judging by George’s gritted teeth, commentary was not the way to go.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Before another minute had passed, there was a banner on the screen pointing out George’s loss. The ‘ Better Luck Next Time, Player!’ didn’t feel very sincere to Dream.

One glance at George and it was clear he was disappointed.

“Sorry, George.” Dream lowered his eyes from the screen. It felt disrespectful to even look at the message of pity. George shrugged his shoulders, shook out his hands.

“It’s okay, I have another game. I just can’t get a perfect score now, so I probably won’t win this time” His voice was dejected. It made Dream want to help him.

“Well, I mean, don’t be sad. Just, like, turn it off. Change it to anger.” George looked at Dream, brow furrowed again.

“Dream? That’s not, that’s not normal.” Dream froze. This was it, he was giving himself away. He wanted to reach out and scoop the pieces of him that he'd let out back between his ribcage. He didn’t want George to know about the switches and levers inside him, the careful calculation of his personhood.

Instead, he laughed lightly.

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t explain it very well-” Before he had to think up some other way to explain his inner workings, George was distracted. Another game was starting. Dream didn’t feel upset for the distraction.

The more Dream watched him play chess, the more he wanted to understand chess. The only thing he had to go off of was George’s closed face. As far as Dream could tell, he wasn’t doing well. The stitch of the skin next to his eye gave that away.

George’s mutterings of ‘ Shit ’, ‘ Fuck ’ and the classic ‘ Godamn it ’ also helped Dream reach his conclusion. George didn’t leave much up to the imagination.

Just as Dream was about to make his condolences known, all the stitches and the lines disappeared. George’s eyes widened then creased, and then out of nowhere the banner was back on the screen.

Except that time, it read ‘ Congratulations, Player!’

Dream couldn’t keep it in.

“Fucking clutch, bro!” George laughed at the congratulations.

“Careful Dreamer, you’re inner frat boy is showing.” He was grinning, giddy with the excitement of it all.

Dream tried to ignore the way the nickname froze his brain for a second, how every neuron stopped in their tracks to drink it in.

George got up from the chair. His smile was subtle but he couldn’t hide the energy, Dream could see him balling up and releasing his fists. He was just as excited as Dream at the win, just in a different way.

“Come on. I’m not playing anymore, plus I have to be home before my mother thinks I’ve been kidnapped.” Dream hadn’t thought about what his mother would say when he got home.

The guilt he felt, vague and untouchable, at being five hours late was pushed to the back of his mind the second it entered.

As Dream stood up, he felt his leg tangled between the chair and table. But it was too late. The second he pushed himself up he went careening back down to the floor. Before he knew what was happening, he was sprawled on his back, face on the dusty carpets. Instead of getting the sympathy he expected, George was standing above him, trying his best to contain his howls of laughter.

Dream cracked before he did. They stayed together, Dream lying flat on his back and George leaning against the desks, trying to muffle their shrieks.

Eventually, the librarian was standing above them.  Dream wanted to say she looked more disappointed than mad, but she didn’t. She just looked mad. It was always so much harder not to laugh when you weren’t allowed to.

Dream tried his best to keep it in as she escorted them out but he didn’t stand a chance. The second he saw George’s foot catch on the last stair, he was a goner. George said only bats could have heard the frequency Dream reached when George fell.

Dream was like a tea kettle, crouched down next to George. George himself was a mirror of Dream in the computer room, sprawled on the floor, letting out sounds between groaning and snorting.

The difference was this time they had a stern librarian right next to them, shaking her head.

Eventually, the boys managed to bring themselves to their feet and stagger towards the door. Everything was setting them off.

“Shhh, boys.” Her voice was stern. Dream howled into George’s ear. He was leaning on the other boy to keep from collapsing.

“We’re already fucking leaving.” It was breathed into George’s ear - just for him to hear. There were tears brimming. George snorted, calling out to the woman at the desk behind him.

“Sorry Dorothy,” Dream’s wheezing upon hearing her name didn’t do their sincerity any favours.

“We’re leaving, we’re leaving!” The second they got out onto the library steps they were heaving. George had to sit on the step, he was in stitches.

It took them a while to calm down, for the giddiness to dissipate. The cold was a big help, as was the dark.

After they calmed down, Dream looked at him. He was slouched against the library wall, hair messy and cheeks red. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back against the stone. The calm that filled him up when he was around George, it wasn’t normal. It wasn’t a regular thing. It compelled him.

“I’m sorry.”

George’s eyes opened to look at him, still smiling.

“Huh?” The way his head tilted to the side reminded Dream of the dog he had when he was younger.

“I’m sorry, for hating you.” George shook his head at Dream’s sudden apology.

“You don’t have to be.” But Dream still was, in every inch of his body. He wanted to take it all back, the years of bitterness. Even if it was replaced with nothing, it would take away his guilt.

George went home, and then Dream went home. The second he was in the door his mother was lecturing him. It all went in one ear and out the next The moment Dream’s head hit the pillow, it was a gearbox. There were new parts, cogs turning and wheels spinning. Dream couldn't stop thinking about it all. And, above all else, was the nickname. George had called him ‘Dreamer’. It was immortalized, cast in amber by his mind.

The next Monday, there was a routine soccer training after school. It was two days after Dream’s adventure in café’s and swing sets and speed chess but that day was still burned into the forefront of his mind. He was with Sapnap, doing a slow drill together, just passing the ball while they waited for the rest of the team to get changed. Dream decided it was time to let him deeper into his brain.

“Sapnap.” Sapnap passed the ball back to him gently.

“Dream.” He was smiling at him, always smiling.

“I have to tell you something.” Dream didn’t like the way his voice sounded. Sapnap and sombreness didn’t go together.

“Famous last words!” Sapnap had proven Dream right, he was still smiling at him.

“Well, I’m kind of- I’m making friends with someone. But I don’t know how you’ll react to who it is.” Sapnap was still smiling.

“Come on, dude. Just rip the plaster right off!” Sapnap jumped up and down on the spot, waiting for Dream to pass the ball. Dream passed it.

“It’s George.” Sapnap’s face didn’t change, but it froze.

“Put the plaster back on!” Sapnap kicked the ball, more towards Dream’s head than his feet.

[idontevenremember5minutesago]

Bnha is overhyped and it’s damaging the fandom.

Did that get your attention? Good.

I tried. I tried so hard to stay away from discourse in this fandom because I know how Tumblr is. I’ve been on this site long enough. It’s a site full of complainers who can never be happy with anything. It’s site full of fan entitlement and people who think they can tell other people how to write their own stories and what they can do with their creations.  I know this.

And that would be fine, if they kept it to Tumblr. But there is a rise of idiots harassing content creators with how they feel a story should go and it is driving me INSANE! And with the BNHA fandom on the rise, their newest target is Hori and it is so aggravating.

This man has been through so many failures and disappointments that almost knocked him out of manga writing for good and now he has a hit series and is gaining back the confidence he lost and writing a story he loves and you assholes are ruining it with your disgusting fan entitlement. I saw the Voltron fandom turn to absolute garbage in real-time because of fan entitlement and it so discerning to see it happening right in front of my eyes with the bnha fandom. Again.

(I’m not gonna say it’s because a lot of toxic Voltron fans came into the fandom when the show ended, but it’s because a lot of toxic Voltron fans came into the fandom when the show ended.)

(I’m not even gonna go into the Endeavor death threats because good God)

So let me address something, and I say this as a bnha fan, who loves the show and the characters.

BNHA IS NOT A DEEP SHOW.

The premise. The characters, the setting, the motivations. They are not deep. They are as simple and cliché as it gets.

The characters have done before.

The plot has been done before.

The conflict has been done before.

And that is okay.

It’s okay for a story to be simple and for the characters to have simple motivations. That’s why people like DBZ. That’s why people e liked Naruto Part One. And yes, that’s why people also like Black Clover. Because they are simple shows that employ simple themes that, yes, have been done before.

There is a pretentiousness on tumblr where everything has to be deep for you to like it.

I see this mostly from Bakugou stans in this this fandom. They herald him as a beacon of character development that has never been done before, not just in the series but in all of shonen actually in all media. I have literally seen someone compare Bakugou’s arc to Zuko’s and I just- . It’s so damn stupid. And I laugh everytime I see it because Bakuogu has been done before. His character arc has been done and it’s been done better. It aint that damn deep.

Y’all can just admit you like assholes.  It’s okay. I see this mostly done as defense mechanism done because Bakugou anti come after fans and the character which is okay because Bakugou antis get on my nerves too. But when I see it done unironically I can’t take them seriously. It was said straight out of Hori’s mouth that Bakugou was made to be unlikable, but hey so was some other popular assholes on this site, but the difference between those fans and Bakugou fans is that the other fans can admit they just like assholes.

Whew.  Had to get that out of my system. Probably pissed off a bunch of Bakugou stans. Don’t really give a shit. Moving on.

It seems like most of the damn discourse these days is coming from the fact that Hori is implementing traditional shonen clichés. And to that I say, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GENRE DID YOU THINK YOU WERE READING? A shojo? A seinen? A josei? A harem? Of course, it’s gonna implement Shonen tropes.

This fandom has fallen into the traditional tumblr pitfall. People make deep think pieces,headcanons and metas and convince themselves and others that what they’re watching is deeper than it is. When the creator of the show includes something that aligns with their content, they think that their think pieces and metas were right and that was the creator’s intention all along which tricks them into believing that they know all of the authors intentions  and can speak on what the author is trying to do and with that comes an inflated sense of entitlement where they begin to think that the authors decisions must always align with their theories and views and when they don’t, in comes the death threats and the screams that the creator is a terrible writer and doesn’t know how to handle their own story and characters.

You guys want Bnha to be a subversion to Shonen clichés because that’s what YOU hyped it up as. And now that its going against what you want, it’s terrible writing and going down the road of older shonen manga, like Naruto. It drives me crazy when I see idiots on this hellsite attacking Hori for using common Shonen tropes when he has since the beginning, but you guys just didn’t want to see it cause everything has to be deep or a subversion on this hellsite.

It’s so damn aggravating.

Fan entitlement is so cancerous. And I’m so annoyed to see it spread over to this fandom because this fandom was so chill when it was smaller. I’m so tired of seeing big fandoms become crap because of fans like this.

Has the story stagnated? In some ways, yes. It has. The motivations and growth of some of the characters, (NOT JUST DEKU, BAKUGOU STANS) has slowed down since most of them are realizing their arcs. Deku is gaining more control over his emotions and OFA (AS HE FUCKING SHOULD BECAUSE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE MEANT TO GROW AND THAT IS GOOD THING YOU DUMBASSES) Shouto is opening up, Bakugou is shimmering down, Shinsou is one step closer to being in the hero course (which was his entire character arc btw). Iida’s arc has been done and a lot of other characters are reaching plateaus as well or haven’t been explored because there are so many.

But guess what.

The series isn’t fucking done yet. It’s not completed. It’s not done yet. Long stories tend to slow down , sometimes they will hit walls and that’s okay. That is natural.

Holding Bnha to impossible standards where it always has to be on pace because you hyped it up as ‘ The best Shonen ever written tm ‘ is not fair.

So instead of frothing at the mouth when your little meta’s and tumblr post and theories don’t align with the story or it takes a turn you don’t agree with how bout you shut up and let this man write his own damn series and work his story out. He has it planned out. He has gone on record saying this. I think he’s good.

Criticism is good. There are a lot of criticisms I have with Bnha. Not agreeing with writing decisions is good. Having headcanons is good. Having theories is good. These are all valid,

Attacking someone because THEIR story is going a way you dont want it to go, is not okay and it never will be. I can’t believe I have to say this.

[lovebunnie]

Do them all nerd

1. meaning behind my url?

- i like venom and symbrock (veddie) is good

2. a pisture of me

- people get creepy with pics of me (plus u know what i look like already) so have uh this?

i look like this

3. how many tattoos do i have and what do they look like?

- i dont have any (yet) but i really love tattoo culture

4. last time i cried and why

- i was looking at cats that needed to be adopted online and they all are….. so cuuute

5. piercings i have

- i dont have any :p

6. favorite band?

- gorillaz 

7. buggest turn offs

- if you make rude jokes ill immediately be annoyed with you (twitch humor)

8. top 5 (insert item)

- well since u didnt do it ill do top 5.. numbers..

420, 69, 666, 0, 👌

9. tattoos i want

- i want some roses, maybe some song lyrics and some special pieces drawn by the artist because i love artists expressing themselves

10. biggest turn ons

- im babby but also hand holding

11. age?

- im 18

12. ideas of a perfect date

- ive said before that i want my first date to be to a build a bear because thats CUTE we make bears for each other

13. life goal?

- i want to one day give a ted talk

14. piercings i want

- not really what i want but i actually really love gauges and septums because im gay and goth

15. relationship status?

- absolutely not dating anyone and pining over like 5 people

16. favorite movie?

- dead poets society

17. a fact about my life

- i had a half brother i didnt know was a half brother until i was 15 years old lmao

18. phobia?

- throwing up

19. middle name?

- it starts with an ‘m’ but thats all ill say

20. height?

- i havent gotten measured since like 8th grade so last time i checked i was 5 2 but honestly i dont know

21. are u a virgin?

- have u seen me and my content? of course i am

22. whats your shoe size?

- 7.5 or 8 depending on the brand

23. whats your sexual orientation?

- im bisexual :3

24. do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

- no because im not cool enough to get them and also my family is full of addicts so if i start itll most likely kill me

25. someone you miss?

- every single person i met at camp (ian and rivers and connor and jared but theyre the ones i have tumblrs from) i love them dearly and i cant wait until the summer to see them again

26. whats one thing you regret?

- i wish i did more theater because i honestly really enjoy it

27. first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive?

- jake gyllenhaal (followed closely by hugh dancy and megan fox)

28. favorite ice cream?

- turkey hill mint chocolate chip

29. one insecurity?

- my face looks like a pizza i have such nasty skin

30. what my last text message says

- fun fact but if u know me youll know im the absolute worst at responding to messages, i didnt text my grandma back so much my dad threatened to throw my phone in a ‘fucking lake’ (his words) but anyway it was to my friend seb and it said “yeah just me being a pretentious fool as usual” talking about my twitter

31. have you ever taken a picture naked?

- absolutely NOT lmao who would i send it to my english class gc?

32. have you ever painted your room?

- my old room in maryland yeah, we painted it light blue

33. have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

- i havent had my first kiss yet whoops

34. have you ever slept naked?

- HELL NO my cat steps on me in my sleep

35. have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

- literally everyday it makes me really happy and its fun and im not apologizing

36. have you ever had a crush?

- i dont think ive ever not had a crush like deadass

37. have you ever been dumped?

- no ive only really dated one person

38. have you ever stole money from a friend?

- no all my friends are broke like me we suffer together like champs

39. have you ever gotten into a car with people you just met?

- god fucking NEVER all my closest friends live away from me and are gay so none of us can drive (yet. connor is getting there) but yeah no i dont even trust my brother to drive me

40. have you ever been in a fist fight?

- no but id win because my muscles are so huge

41. have you ever snuck out of your house?

- no i live in the middle of no where. i could walk to food loin or burger king if i wanted to but i dont. so no. im asleep at 8:30

42. have you ever had feelings for someone who didnt feel them back?

- literally all the time, i like people who will never like me back

43. have you ever been arrested?

- no im a rule follower

44. have you ever made out with a stranger?

- see question #33

45. have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

- like in secret? no. but as friends? yes.

46. have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

- accidentally yes and when they tell me they were worried i cry in shame

47. have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

- i think back in elementary school i had a crush on a neighbor boy. he was a lax bro and i think liked me back even if i was 2 years older than him

48. have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

- no and actually, last year i had gone the whole time without missing a single day so my mom and i went into the city and i asked to go home to finish homework and my mom called me a nerd :(

49. have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

- that has never come out, no

50. have you ever seen someone die?

- ive been watching our country die for years

okay im only doing half because im literally falling asleep i might finish the other half if u want me to

[skywalkersapprentice]

LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER aka my review of the last jedi

(spoilers)

Contrary to my feelings leading up to the force awakens, I was more nervous than completely excited for this film. I was so terrified that it wasn’t going to be good.

by the end of this movie, those fears had been soothed.

Bad Things(tm) 

it’s a shorter list than i thought it would be but it still exists

kylo ren’s entire existence annoys me. like i came out of tfa hating him and now i loathe him. 

thAt SHIRTLESS SCENE GOD I HATED THAT. it could have been so much worse and i’m grateful it wasn’t but jeez. i strongly echoed rey’s feelings of ‘put a shirt on’. 

the entire fucking force bond thing got on my nerves until i realized it was snoke’s fault. then it was okay. 

rey nobody. listen you guys, i’m all for the found family trope usually but you can pry rey skywalker out of my cold, dead hands. 

i feel like sometimes this movie didn’t know what it was doing with it’s plot. canto bight was beautiful, but that entire plot ultimately felt meaningless. 

same with luke’s purpose, i couldn’t.... really figure out the role he was supposed to be playing. 

some of the scenes on the island felt really fucking boring. 

why did hux slap finn like yeah mate we already know he’s an asshole

this was the biggest one for me- rey’s character. it could have been done so much better. she felt like she was aimlessly wandering around the island for half the movie and she deserved more than she got. i’m just thankful this is the middle act and that she’ll be back in the safe hands of jj abrams for the final movie. 

also finn and rey deserved a better reunion scene but the hug was adorable.

Good Things(tm)

this is a much longer list

ROSE TICO. omg i adore her???? she’s so awkward and tiny and charming. i spent most of the battle of crait thinking ‘omg please don’t die’ and i’m SO HAPPY she didn’t. i ended up not minding finnrose, which i thought i wouldn’t like. she and finn worked so well together.

LUKE THREW THE LIGHTSABER OFF THE CLIFF SDFGHGFDFGH I LAUGHED SO HARD. i immediately knew i was gonna like luke in this movie. 

also i dont’ wanna hear a word about ‘bad characterization’ when it comes to luke. it’s been 30 years since we saw him last and people change. 

i think it helps that i have read basically none of the post-rotj eu and so i had no expectations of what luke ‘should have’ been like. but anyway.

another thing i laughed so hard at: poe pretending not to know who hux was while he was speaking all pretentiously. that was hilarious. 

and then bb8 overextending himself trying to keep the ship working. bb8 was the silent hero of this movie and you all need to appreciate him.

CHEWIE AND THE PORGS. oh my godd when he was eating that one porg and then the rest of them show up with huge eyes and legitimately sad expressions. i was literally aww-ing. i’ve bought into the cute porg marketing. they made me smile every time they were onscreen. sue me. 

i really liked what luke had to say about the light side not ‘belonging’ to the jedi, because it’s true. time to think outside the box lads

rey looked so good in that jedi outfit

the golden four (finn, rose, rey and poe) all looked amazing tbh.

i almost liked kylo ren for one (1) second after he killed snoke and then he decided that he wanted to destroy the rest of the galaxy too and i was like Oh My God

also they made a bold move by killing snoke but i really liked that they did. now ren can step into position as the Main Villain, which is what he deserves. (no redemption arc bitch you’ve tried to murder everyone like twice)

also the way!!! snoke died!!!!! was so cool!!!! he could read ren’s intentions like a book, but the way ren deceived him into thinking that rey was his sworn enemy because ‘i can’t be betrayed’ was amazing. and this is coming from someone who despises kylo ren.

lmao @ hux and ren subtly fighting for control over their troops. i wouldn’t be surprised if hux eventually stabs ren in the back.

THAT SCENE WHERE REN AND REY BREAK ANAKIN’S LIGHTSABER

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING

it would have more meaning if rey was also related to anakin but whatever

holy shit. the entire scene with yoda. i was silently squeeing into my hands the whole time.

this is the first time i have ever been happy to see yoda but oh. my god. that little troll cackling as he destroyed the early jedi texts (‘page turners, they were not’) was AMAZING. 

i almost forgot to mention but 

LEIA

USING THE FUCKING FORCE

TO SAVE HERSELF AND BRING HER BACK TO THE SHIP WHILE LOOKING LIKE A GODDAMN ANGEL

that was the first time the guy beside me offered me tissues. i was not okay.

also i love her dynamic with poe so much. and that scene where amilyn and leia are discussing him and amilyn says ‘i like him’ and leia goes ‘me too’ is so pure.

also leia and amilyn had one (1) scene together but it still managed to make me emotional. leia has lost so much and this was just one more thing, but their goodbye was good.

also i love my gay mom amilyn tbh. the luna lovegood comparisons were rolling in before the film and tbh i could see that! i’m so sad she had to die but what a fucking way to go. the entire theater was dead silent when she made that jump to hyperspace. 

i don’t think i’ve ever sworn this much in my life. whatever.

something i really liked that i didn’t expect to is how so close ren and rey came to leaving their respective sides. the lines between light and dark got so blurry in snoke’s throne room, but eventually what happened seemed to cement their respective positions, pushing them even further away from one another. it was cool.

leia marching onto the bridge of the command ship fresh from unconsciousness and stunning poe wow what an icon

also when will the gays learn to communicate i mean poe and amilyn come on

can we talk about that scene in the falcon when luke and artoo reunite :( omg. artoo still has leia’s old message and i personally want to die.

luke and leia’s (natural) force connection that spans half a galaxy!!!! ‘luke’ ‘leia’ i personally want to die (part 2)

canto bight looked straight out of the prequels and i was Living

i was also living for the way finn and rose destroyed it

“you have always been scum”. “rebel scum” THAT’S MY BOY I LOVE FINN

also there was something that finn said on crait while they were in the mine (i forget what it was) but poe and rose both looked at him like they were falling in love 

and also poe’s delight when seeing that finn and rose aren’t dead and immediately going ‘where’s my droid’ :( i love how much he loves bb8, it’s very reminiscent of anakin and artoo.

speaking of crait

LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER

[INCOHERENT YELLING]

when the shadow appeared in the mine i was like..... omg. it can’t be. he wouldn’t.

and then it WAS and i realized that we were actually getting a leia and luke reunion, after i had convinced myself it wouldn’t happen, and then i started really crying. i don’t think i’ve ever cried like that at a movie before. i don’t even remember most of what was said, except for luke’s ‘no one is ever really gone’ (directed at leia, by then i was properly sobbing) and then the forehead kiss. i was a mess. the guy beside me offered me kleenex again.

That was, without a doubt, my favourite scene in the film. Luke and Leia got to say goodbye. I feel like that actually healed something in me that broke when carrie died last year. like, the movie was worth making just for that one fucking scene.

but then it got better.

when ren ordered all the walkers to fire on luke and then luke walked out unscathed someone in front of me actually clapped with glee. from the moment he ignighted his lightsaber, there was an energy of just joy in the theater, and you could tell that scene was exactly what everyone had wanted from luke.

AND THEN KYLO REN TRIED TO CUT HIM IN HALF AND IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DELIGHTED

'amazing. everything you just said was wrong.’ YES LUKE YES

I can’t wait for luke to haunt ren from beyond the grave in episode 9. i don’t know how i feel about the fact that he’s dead, but it’s far from the sadness i felt when han died.

like rey and leia said- there was a sense of peace there.

I just. I just wish Leia could find that peace. She has lost absolutely everyone. And now the movie that was supposed to be about her can’t exist.

‘in loving memory of our princess carrie fisher’ made me halt on the steps and bring my hand to my mouth on the way out of the theater. i’d forgotten that would happen. :(

I don’t want to end this on a sad note. I really did like this movie. It’s not quite good enough for a 9 and i hesitate to rate it as low as a 7 so an 8 it is. 

Overall- better than i’d hoped. had some absolutely magical moments that made me remember why i love this franchise so much. there were some truly cool force-related moments, i love the golden four and luke skywalker is fucking awesome. kylo ren is fucking terrible, i wish this movie had progressed it’s characters a little and rey deserves to be a skywalker.

bring on episode nine. 

[gamesofmuggles]

Ship #59

I ship you with Sirius Black:

• “Look here they are” whispered one of your friend. Honestly you were reading a really interesting book and the arrival of the marauders wasn’t that fascinating. “James is sooo hot” “I prefer Sirius” “Ugh, you already have a boyfriend” “And so?”

This conversation was annoying to the maximum. Your friends used to giggle a lot, talking about boys.

“Remus is perfect for Y/N, I mean look at him, the perfect dreamer, the nose in his books all the time, don’t you think?”

“OH MY GOD YES! Y/N you need to be with him!”

You raised an eyebrow. Remus was your friend already. He was nice, cute, clever. He had the same hobbies as you but… Not because a boy share things with you that he is your soulmate.

“I am not desperate girls. We are just friend okay? Forget about this” you said before getting back to your book.

• When it’s raining all the students go back in the castle, there is not a single soul in the park. Except you.

A day of October you chose to stop on the bridge, your ravenclaw scarf around your neck, lost in your thought. Remus was there too. You tried to forget the stupid advice of your friends and salute him.

“Oh hi! How are you doing?”

“Great, october is the coolest month of the year! Leaves, Rain and…”

“…Halloween” said a voice behind you

That was actually what you were about to say. Making pranks is your thing. But Sirius Black was quicker.

“Hi Padfoot”

“Moony and… Y/N? I totally ship it”

Fuck what was the matter with Remus! You were not in love at all.

• “Heyy Miss Lupin”

Now everybody was calling you like this.

“Sirius… I.am.not.into.him”

The young man raised an eyebrow. He was chewing gum the less sexiest way…or most. Sirius was an attractive guy…probably.

“That’s because you’re into me, insn’t it” he whispered before laughing loudly.

“Yeahhh suuure. Want a secret ?” You asked getting closer to him

“Sure, sweetie”

“I am in love with you like madly since first year”

It was not true obviously but at least it was clear.

“Yup I knew it”

• “Hi Miss Lupin!”

“It’s Miss Black, now. She is MY wife” said Sirus passing an arm around your shoulder

He was so pretentious. But his perfume was nice and so was this position.

• You were with Sirius in the corridor between the classes.

“Fuck, Slughorn is coming” you mumbled for yourself

“And sooo?”

“I didn’t do my homeworks for yesterday and I didn’t had time last night. I am fucked. He’s getting closer, Sirius do someting!”

“What???”

“I don’t know! Quick!”

Why wasn’t he doing anything ?

“Pleaassse, Siriu…”

He shut your mouth by kissing you. That was unexpected and really good… The rumors about him were true. But it was only to help you, wasn’t it?

• Since the kiss your relationship became strange. Sirius is almost shy. Unbelievable. And he is taking his distances. What the hell was wrong with him? It made you liked him even more. Well, okay maybe it’s weird, too but…that’s the truth.

“Hey”

“Oh…Hi Y/N” Sirius responded without a smile

No Miss Black today.

“Hm… is there someting wrong ?”

“No.I am fine why?”

“You are just weird since the other day. Since that kiss in fact” you confessed

Sirius looked at you more serious than ever. His eyes were so sad. No joke this time

“Listen… I know you like Remus and…he is my best friend I can’t be…I can’t feel anything for you. Not that way”

What? Like what? What just happened?

“But…No. I mean yes. I like Remus…AS A FRIEND” you said confused

Your brain was working so slowly. Did you dream or did Sirius Black really said he was fancing you?

“What ? But I tought… Why didn’t you tell anything?”

“I said it hunder times or more”

Sirius was scratching is head now. His bright smile was back. Just the way you liked him.

“So you Black is feeling something for me?”

“Oh shut up” he laughed

“Need Slughorn at the corner to kiss me again or do I have to do it myself”

“Dont try me”

He caught you by the waist and kissed you for the second time. He was the greatest kisser you knew, that was for sure now.

“So I guess we all can call you Miss Black, now”

“It’s been an entire year Sirius… Seriously do you live in this school?”

“To busy flirting with my ravenclaw girl sorry”

[sutterbabe]

#11 Auston Matthews

Can I have a Auston Matthews request where you two don't get along but one of his girl best friends comes down to Toronto and you get jealous, have another fight about it, then admit your love to each other? Sorry that's a lot to take in, hope it makes sense!

idek fam

“you know if he bothers you that much, you could just not come.” Zach suggested from his spot beside you.

“And let him take all my friends away from me?” you scoffed. “Besides, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”

Zach rolled his eyes at that. “Sure. I don’t get why it’s even that big of a deal. He’s a nice kid.”

You snorted at that. “He’s a pretentious douchebag.”

Zach rolled his eyes as Willy sat down on his other side, Kappy following closely behind him.

“I know that look.” Willy told you. “I bet you’re just secretly in love with him and don’t know it.” he stated, waggling his eyebrows with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes. “As if, Nylander. I have standards.”

“Can you at least be civil with him today for once?” Zach pleaded. 

“I am civil with him... as long as he doesn’t say dumb things. Which is, like, always.” you shrugged. “Not my fault.” Zach sighed and the European duo beside him snorted while you took a sip from your drink and raised an eyebrow at Zach. “What?”

You knew when Matt, Mitch and Auston arrived because you could hear Mitch’s voice from a mile off. 

“Hey Mitch,” you laughed as he bounded in to greet everyone in sight with a hug.

“Sorry we’re late, I needed coffee.” Matt announced, setting three coffees on the kitchen bench.

“Oh god, you didn’t let Mitch have some did you?” Zach groaned.

Matt snorted. “I’m not that stupid.”

“You look it.” Kappy mocked. 

Matt sent him a glare. “look who’s talking.”

“Shut up.”

You were just about to relax when Auston finally walked in, his arm round the shoulders of a gorgeous girl you didn’t recognise.

“Fuck.”

“Language.” Willy snickered.

Since when was this a thing? Since did seeing Auston Matthews with a girl hurt your heart? You swore again. This was not fucking happening. You could not be jealous. But there it was again, that painful twang. This wasn’t happening. You and Auston did not get on. Not in the slightest. Yet here you were, jealous as soon you saw him with a girl.

“Y/n,” he acknowledged, narrowing his eyes at your glare.

“Matthews,” you replied coldly.

“Matts, buddy!” Willy exclaimed, greeting him with a hug. “Long time no see.” he joked, making you roll your eyes.

“You guys are ridiculous.” Kappy told you in a low voice as he leaned across the table to smirk at you.

You shoved his elbow off the table. “Fuck off. If anyone’s ridiculous, it’s him.”

Auston shot you another glare at that and you folded your arms firmly across your chest with a rather challenging stare.

“Can you not for once?” he demanded.

“Not what? Can you not eavesdrop of people’s conversations?” you retorted.

“You announced it to the whole room!” Auston protested. “Why are you even here?”

Your brow furrowed at that but Matt piped up before you could retort.

“Guys please.” Matt groaned. “I don’t have the energy to deal with this shit.”

You sent Auston a scalding look. “I am so done with your shit. Don’t be an ass.” you snapped, stalking off into the other room where Connor was teaching Freddie Mario Kart and plonking down on the couch next to them.

“Morning.” Connor drawled.

“No.” you informed him sternly. Contrary to popular belief, Auston’s assholery could not be solved by making out. Not that Connor seemed to get the memo.

He and freddie snickered at your response so you quickly changed the subject.

“Since when were we bringing plus ones? Why couldn’t Mitch bring steph instead, I like her better at least.” You complained.

“Or you’re jealous.” Connor replied, eyes fixed on the screen as he attempted to complete rainbow road without falling. God, you debated telling Connor before realising what you were doing. You couldn’t tell Connor. They were teammates and Connor was, well, Connor. “Fuck.” he muttered when he died. He snickered as he realised you had yet to reply. “I knew it.” he hissed, holding his hand up for a hi-five, to which freddie eagerly complied.

“You’re so stupid, fuck off I don’t- I’m not..” you protested quickly before you trailed off. You were definitely a lot jealous and Connor knew it. He could see it written all over your face. “He’s still annoying.”

“I told you, you guys just need to-”

“Stop. That’s not happening. Just because I’ve had a minor lapse in judgement does not mean that I’m ever going to-” you waved your arms around wildly. “or even think about something like that for that matter.”

“Okay?” Freddie said, clearly not convinced. Connor seemed to share his sentiments. “Fine. But can you change your mind in the next week? Mitchy and I have a bet going.”

You huffed and put your head in your hands, of course they did. That’s just what you needed, Auston’s teammates betting on when you were going to hook up.

“I told you, you’re not going to beat my high score.” Willy told Connor smugly as he plonked down on the other couch. Connor rolled his eyes.

“Oh you’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?” Connor retorted. “You’re not even that good.”

“i got third place on rainbow road and you’re still eleventh.” willy reminded, gesturing to the screen.

“Yeah yeah, that’s because I have a life.” connor snorted.

“Y/n!” Mitch yelled from the other room. “Can you-?”

“Fuck off! I am not doing you another favour.” You retorted. Favours usually consisted of helping him beat willy at mario kart.

“Y/n, jesus christ, for once can you not be so goddamn stubborn.” Matt huffed as he walked over to stand in front of you. “I’m tired of you two yelling at each other, Can you sort out some sort of peace treaty so I can have 24 hour of quiet.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand.

“Who died and made you king?” you muttered. As much as matt tried to deny it, he was definitely a parent friend. If Zach was the mom friend Matt was the dad friend who enforced the rules after Zach told you off.

“I don’t have anything to say to him.” you protested, but you were still forced into the same room as Auston Matthews, which everyone quickly vacated. Okay, today was pretty bad. Usually you both weren’t this vocal about your hatred for each other but Auston was really pissing you off.

“Why are you so shitty with me today?” Auston demanded after a moment of silence.

“Look who’s talking.” you drawled sarcastically. “Besides, I didn’t know this was a plus one affair. Why not put on a show.” There, it was out. What the hell were you saying?!

“Is that what this is about? You feel so threatened by another girl that you have to lash out?!” His voice rose angrily.

“The fact that you think my self esteem is so fragile that it would take one other girl for me to feel threatened is astounding.” you retorted. “Sorry if I don’t like the fact that you’re now bringing your hook ups to-”

Auston laughed. “You are so full of yourself!”

“Have you looked in the mirror lately? What the hell Matthews?! You are so stuck up, if your ego was any bigger, you’d trip over it.”

He snorted. “You are so fucking oblivious! Everything is all about you! You’ve got no idea what’s going on here!”

“I think I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on here. You’ve been shitty since day one and I won’t fucking stand for it.”

“Jordyn’s from Arizona!” he yelled.

“Well thanks for that piece of info. You want to know something? I don’t fucking care where she’s from!”

“Why does it matter so much to you?!”

“Why were you so shitty when we first met. I’ve literally done nothing to you ever!”

“WHY DOES IT MATTER?”

“BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME AND I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU WITH ANOTHER GIRL.”

fuck fuck fuck fuck

Oh my god what had you done. You hurried to grab your back off the couch.

“Holy shit.”

Holy shit indeed, Matthews. That summed it up pretty well.

“Y/n, holy shit.”

“Yeah, noted. “ you snapped, slamming the door behind you. 

[scadaz]

scad’s dad list

final rankings of the dads under the cut. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

craig - WHAT CAN I SAY they got me in two of my favorite tropes: jock with a heart of gold and old friends who unexpectedly reunite and fall madly in love. he’s a GOOD DAD who LOVES HIS KIDS SO MUCH THAT HE DOESN’T LOOK AFTER HIMSELF #relatable but he’s also just a good guy who recognizes his own flaws and tries really hard to work on them (the exact opposite of other dads on the OPPOSITE END OF THE LIST) overall i really liked his story a lot and i got super into all of our dates. like #1 moment in all of dream daddy was getting him to kiss my forehead on the baseball field like DAMN IM STILL GAY ABOUT IT......LOVE YOU BRO

damien - I KNOW IM JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE!!! when all the dads were first released i took one look at him and was like “you’re going to be my least favorite”. im really not about worshipping victorian era stuff and i thought he looked pretentious as hell but no. i had the same reaction as dadsona in that i just found his passion really charming even if i didn’t relate?? plus he’s SUCH A GOOD DAD AND A GENUINELY NICE PERSON and i was really just charmed every step of the way until by the end he’d somehow magically shot up to being one of my faves. his story was really well written and imho his dates were the most fun. i love my goth it boyfriend

hugo - ANOTHER SHOCKER again i am super NOT into classical literature nor wrestling so even when his secret was revealed i was like eehhhhh.... but its just like damien in that HIS PASSION IS REALLY....CUTE.......I LIKE HIM A LOT LMAO also idk if i was the only one who noticed but hugo is like so much softer than a lot of the other dads in terms of affection like....he got me with that forehead touch tho.......damn still gay about it

mat - don’t get me wrong mat is still godtier dad and i really like him a lot but the fact that i had to replay his entire track (and kept having to reload dates because i STILL kept choosing the wrong dialogue options fhdsjkalh) really put a damper on liking our relationship. much like the other dads i am really not into music the same way that mat is, which i think is why i kept choosing the wrong options and why we couldn’t really connect......this one is really hard because i didn’t really like his story or our dates but i really REALLY like mat as a character?? i think being a cool guy who doesn’t actually like socializing is really interesting and the parallels between both mat and dadsona losing their partners could have been played more. IDK i would still die for him and carmensita 

brian - SEE ITS SIMILAR TO MAT in that i actually do like brian but the writing of our relationship really dampered my attitude. cuz like. after the first date and ESP the second i knew that brian wasn’t actually trying to one up us but the game kept writing this narrative that i hated the guy, even when i didn’t. so in the end brian’s “arc” had less to do with us helping him through a problem like the other dads but him teaching us not to be an asshole....which i never signed up for in the first place. oh but daisy is a godtier a+ daughter and i would kill a man for her

joseph - first off i dont give a shit about the cult ending so jot that down. that being said, im still really annoyed with the way they wrote his arc and how there isn’t an ending that yknow...resolves his conflict.......and the sad thing is i actually did like everything leading up to that point. i think joseph is a good dad and a fun dude and i enjoyed our dates!! mostly he just makes me sad

robert - FUCK ROBERT SMALLS!!!!! i will never get over the fact that if you sleep with him at any point, he suddenly decides the both of you are “using each other” and he’ll just treat you like absolute shit. FUCK. OFF!!!! i thought maybe i would get a better understanding of cinnamon roll cryptid hunter fanon robert when i played his good route but no. its all just another layer of his infinite layers of irony and sarcasm he uses to deflect the fact that he is a genuinely shitty human being. i guess they tried to go the route of you don’t really know whether or not he’s being serious about any of this stuff but every time we talked about it, he made it clear he was making everyone up so.......idfk. he’s a terrible self destructive mess and i get that’s the point and i get that by the end of the good route he’s actually going to acknowledge that and try to work through his shit but 1) that doesn’t give him a right to take it out on you if you do literally anything wrong and 2) i hate that i have to be a bad person to get there. i dont WANT to go out in the middle of the night, get drunk, throw rocks at shit, sneak into movie theaters, threaten kids, lie to people for shits and giggles, all when im supposed to be being a RESPONSIBLE ADULT!!!! WE ARE DADS!!!!! i had to use a walkthrough for robert’s good end because i guess im too much of a goody toe shoes who appreciates genuine emotions and healthy communication, so everything i chose was wrong. god. GOOOODDDDDDDDD. that being said i dont dislike people who like robert yall keep doing you im going to stick with my daddios thanks

and of course general reminder that amanda is better than all of these dads combined and i would drop all of them in a second for her if i had to

alright im over it where’s dream mommy

[gorsime]

ill delete this soon

bad cop hogwarts au

@pouncival

points to cover: houses, prefect stuff, meetings, classes, Naughty Stuff, other cats, pets, life after hogwarts, quidditch >:((, HYDRATION, teachers, uhhhhh and anything else i can think of

HOUSES: rumples a gryffindor. the sorting hat took about three seconds. alonzos a hufflepuff even tho his family have always been ravenclaws and he desperately wanted to be a gryffindor, he cried after the sorting ceremony also: jenny is huffpuff head, skimble is p much hagrid, jelly is raven, gus is gryffdor and grizabella is slytherin,,, headmaster deuteronomy lmao

PREFECT STUFF: alonzos a prefect. Obviously, i mean come on. he takes it so seriously,,, hes already dating rumple when he becomes one and she delights in the fact that he can sometimes b persuaded to let her go with a warning bc yo thats what u get for fucking a prefect,,, once she wanted to get in ravenclaw tower and she didnt know the answer to the riddle so she was like "LONZYYY I HAVE A RIDDLE THAT I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO FOR HOMEWORRKKKKK" and hes a library fiend so he spent like an hour looking it up and then he told her and she was like "ok thanks im going off 2 ravenclaw tower now" and he was so distraught he took ten points from hufflepuff for helping her. the other prefects Donut Understand their relationship ghdkhgd bc mungo and rumple r worse than fred and george but eventually it gets to the point where they catch her doin some rulebreaking and shes like... do u seriously feel like dealing with me so they just go get alonzo. she gets drunk on firewhisky one time and he takes her back up to gryffindor tower and spends ten minutes trying to get the fat lady to let her in but the fat lady is annoyed and refusing and it goes like "rumple tell her the password" "nooOooOoOooOo" "do you know the password" ">:3c" "rumple teLL HER THE PASSWORD" for another half hour and eventually gives up and decides to wait for the next gryffindors to come along and let her in but the next one to come along is mungo and then its twice as bad when alonzo becomes head boy (munk is the year above them) he cries, and rumple opens her letter like I GOT HEAD GIRL??!!!!????? and hes like. What. and shes like hehehehehe just kidding who the fuck do u think i am,, also. prefects bathroom. he ends up letting her find out the password and then shes constantly in there and then Somehow (i wonder how) mungo finds out and then they have to change it before the whole school knows,,, oh my god the other prefects tease him so much and at first hes like eh..heh...yeah but after a while hes like fuck off please, stop shittalking my girlfriend to me, and he gets a wee bit defensive about it so they give up especially in their final year when hes head boyyyy

QUIDDITCH: OKAY so alonzo wanted to play quidditch as a seeker bc ofc he did right?? i mean theres so many rules. such nice uniforms. but he never made the tryouts bc he wasnt willing to take the risks needed to get the golden thingy (also, vitiligo, hes got autoimmune shit and he has 2 b careful w his health),,, rumple however. rumples grown up loving the harpies and desperately wanting to be a beater. then she meets mungo and the two of them are fucking terrifying beaters, they are So Good, its honestly the only reason why gryffindor hasnt lost the house cup every fucking year, them helping win p much every game kind of balances out all the points they lose for being shits lmao,,, we had a thought that she gets hurt sometime in a game, and alonzo is. so terribly smothering he brings in all his books to study by her bed in the hospital wing and takes notes for her and is way too cautious after that and begs her to stop playing and she just. Looks at him. :| anyway she does eventually become quidditch captain nyehehe and so shes captain, hes head boy, they are a glorious power couple,,, the nerds love alonzo, the delinquents and sportheads love rumple, together they are So Respected,, it also means she gets actual access to the prefects bathroom which changes very little except for how sneaky she has to be to get in

MEETINGS: okay so in true hogwarts au fashion they first meet on the train as first years,,, rumple: hi can i sit here (she says as shes sat down) are u muggleborn im a halfblood alonzo: im from an old wzarding family my name is draco malfuck you rumple: wow u sound like an asshole. what house r u gonna be in. im gryffindor alonzo: me too rumple: u dont seem like one alonzo: you do :// rude fuck. this is my owl her name is aegolius im pretentious rumple: cool name. this is my cat her name is gwynog GO HARPIES alonzo: ive never had physical contact with a living thing in my life can i pet her rumple: sure alonzo: soft anyway after they get sorted they never talk again. End Of Au. jks but forreal they dont talk for years until they get their electives and theyre partnered in care of magical creatures and finally talk again and it goes like rumple: hey youre that kid who cried at the sorting ceremony alonzo: rumple: sup somehow the whole Falling In Love part is the one bit we havent really talked about but it happens and its cute

id also like to add that alonzos parents are an old italian wizarding family but they pride themselves on being chic, modern wizards who incorporate certain muggle things, mostly fashion, his mums a fashion designer, so all his clothes are beautiful and tailored and more Modern than most,, ANYWAY they also Want The Best for him and when he tells them who hes dating (A HALFBLOOD RAISED AMONG MUGGLES??? A GIRL BEATER???? LOOK AT HER SCHOOL RECORDS DARLING SHES A DELINQUENT!!!!!!) and they refuse to let him stay at her house or let her come over,,, until he writes home one day like. shes captain of the quidditch team what more do u want shes going to do it professionally) and theyre Sporty Folks who are So Fucking Into Quidditch and by this point theyve realised that she's not turning him into a Bad Kid so they finally accept her

CLASSES: ive forgotten like all of their classes kmn anyway alonzo wants to be an auror. thats all he wants. thats his ambition. so he studies his ass off from day one and gets perfect grades and is a model student. rumple is. perhaps not. just think fred and george thats her and mungo, shes a terror but somehow she still manages to pass everything through an annoying natural talent. alonzos kind of hellbent on making her get good grades and they spend much of their time in the library, hes in there Every Day, he pretty much has a reserved table, rumple sits around practicing jinxes on any unfortunate passerbys and trying to pester him and/or make him kiss her he loves presentations, hes so good at them, he prepares for weeks and then the entire time rumples in the back of class making Naughty Gestures. he chokes on his water when she does presentations theyre short but shes really charismatic so he just kind of sits there staring at her like an idiot because gosh she has a nice voice rumples a pro at brooms obviously, alonzos Hella Nervous on them, he has the best and safest model, she offers to give him private lessons but really its just an opportunity for dick jokes what can u do. he gets her a really good really SAFE and fast broom for christmas one year bc what else does a rich boy get his girlfriend who kicks ass at quidditch which brings me to

NAUGHTY STUFF: kittens look away! look for like. a full three months hes like Im Not Having Sex At School Its Against the rRULES!!!!!! and rumples like. well then we either abstain until we graduate or we can do it at your parents place and. No. The Horror. he changes his mind very quickly. they happen to stumble across the room of requirement a few times when.uh. the need is great. u know how it goes. im also gonna go out on a limb and admit that alonzo is rather fond of the Luxury Baths in the prefects bathroom and rumple is very good at catching him when hes in there and enchanting the door or some shit so nobody disturbs them :-)) this is from one of those hogwarts au headcanon posts but i love it, he gives a presentation on sex ed and shit (lets pretend hogwarts is better than it is) and rumple sits in the back asking the worst questions and inside he wants to scream u KNOW what that is we did it last nIGHT

other cats: yes ok here we go. in their year is misto, victoria, admetus, mungo, coricopat, tantomile and im sure im missing people here, year above them  is munk, tugger, deme, bomba, cassandra, macavity (???!!!???) and everyone else is younger by a year or two, also worth mentioning is etcetera being rumples younger sister and theyre adorable and lovely etcetera for president of the world munk and cass or deme are probably head boy and girl of their year,  cass is dating tantomile, bombas dating demeter, alonzo has the biggest crush on munk as well (optional polyamory for u fucks) (worth saying that the reason rumple went to sneak into ravenclaw tower was to see victoria btw),,, alonzo and victoria are head boy and girl of their year, and probably jemima andddddddd idk maybe g eorge fuck me man idk admetus is another prefect, so's tantomile tbh,,, id say victoria but she wants to focus on her studies

PETS: alonzo has this beautiful eagle owl, scariest of all owls, her name is aegoleius (pronounced ay-JEE-lee-us) it means bird of prey and he adores her. shes beautifully trained. rumple has a kitty that im personally in love with who is basically rumpleteazer as a cat lol shes a calico but her name is gwenog after the famous beater of the harpies <33333 eventually they'll get another cat thatll be a suspiciously familiar black and white patched triangle shorthair named Faolan (sorta like FWAY-larn) even tho it means little wolf because he thought it sounded cool and he read it in a book and thought it was pronouned faow-lahn, honestly they probably end up getting a whole ton of cats

LIFE AFTER HOGWARTS: WOO im excited for this bit. okay. so. alonzo wants to be an auror. hes spent his whole life training for this. he immediately applies after graduation and gets in and starts his rigorous three year training process. in the meantime rumples gone into professional quidditch, and shes really really good at it but shes like.... this isnt fun anymore. bc its not just a school game anymore, its a professional sport, and what do u mean u cant jinx the opponents!!!! so for a while she just helps him train "ok so if you walk like THIS and use this charm your footsteps will be totally silent blah blah boh my god i should be an auror" and hes like. You. want to be an auror. and shes like. Yup. and its a damn good thing he was so obsessive about her getting good marks bc her newts are good enough that she can apply. they do a criminal record check, but mind u that altho rumples done naughty stuff, shes never actually. Been Caught doing anything particularly bad. so her record is somehoW CLEAN and she gets in. its a miracle. "what did you do. who did you blackmail" "i sucked every single aurors dick lonzy" "HOW DID YOU GET IN" "EVERY! SINGLE! DICK!" but hes also really really prouD AND THAT MEANS THEY CAN HELP EACH OTHER TRAIN!!!!! cue training montage. rumple pulls a tonks and coasts thru a lot of it rlly easily and almost fails some but they both eventually graduate and become aurors and work together and she covers her trenchcoat in patches and he keeps asking if he has to wear his because sweet jesus it is ugly ITS BROWN, and at this point his parents r more than content with rumple lmao, anyway they live together in a lovely little house that is kept in perfect order, rumple enchants EVERYTHING to talk, its cute, fucking domestic shit yes please

HYDRATION LOL look this isnt even important but alonzo is so deeply into that health shit. he only eats dark chocolate, and most importantly he fucking loves spending time in the kitchen with jenny. she cooks, he makes custom face masks, and also infused water. so much infused water. he has different """recipes""" and he always has a bottle of lovely chilled water with fucking apple and ginger and lemongrass shit in it that he made the night before, and since rumple fucking hates drinking anything thats not tropical sunshine punch fruit juice he constantly is trying to figure out a recipe of infused water that she'll drink becUSE ITS NOT HEALTHY RUMPLE!!!!!!!! YOU NEED WATER, but she thinks its disgusting and eventually he gives up and carries a bottle of juice with him in case he sees her because its better than nothing,

yeah ok im,,,,, i assume there will be more to come but for now this is what u get