#but the concept of evil in the form of a sentient being of some sort. god

[nowhere302]

Why do you let him make you do these things?

[Twin Peaks, 2 x 7 - Lonely Souls // Marilyn Manson - Track 99 // EverymanHYBRID - WAKE UP // Ethel Cain - Ptolemaea // Twin Peaks, 2 x 22 - Beyond Life and Death]

[sanchoyo]

just finished echoes of wisdom!! (MAJOR) spoilers under the cut for my initial, very fresh thoughts. Lots of them

the outfits were so so cute. kitty outfit was a big hit for obvious reasons but I also loved Silk PJs and OG princess fits (dress and traveling one... <3) theres apparently a blue version of the dress and black cat outfit you get from amibos but I wasnt 100%ing and im not buying amibos just for that (even tho I would really like 2 have it akdsfk) a+ accessory designs too!!

great character designs, insanely varied for the gerudo and goron designs between every npc!! (probably the best gerudo designs to date IMO)

fav echoes were Hoard of Crows (me siccing like 6 crows on enemies) gold wind up bird u get from dampe (btw fun new role for him!!) bc I Liked Fast Money, lv 3 lizalfos (BLUE BIG BODYGUARD FOR ME) and lv 3 darknut. also obviously teddy bear. was throwing it at NPCs i liked all game

really enjoyed how many enemies returned from previous games!!! and diving!!! diving finally came back!! (LOVED the zora area, had a lot of fun with the pirate ship area over there too)

what was up with that one optional boss that was like a sentient fart. that was weird and I suspect he was supposed to come back and then I missed him on the second go around LMAO

the hebra mountain storyline had me in TEARS i was spawning teddy bears at that dude to try to make him feel better rapid fire (this did not help. sad) i was hoping i could find his brother and make him go back ;_; (cant recall the dudes name but that was the same species as the ones from twilight princess, right?)

the way i leveled up my swordfighter form SO much expecting to use it in the final boss fight and then had to give link his shit back and was unable to use it in the final fight?? INFURIATING. docking points on the rating for this game just for that shit. why give me the option to level up my sword and energy if not let me use it again null??? AUGH!!! I WANTED TO FIGHT TOO!!! NOT JUST USE ECHOES!!!

link and zelda both having to fight evil versions of each other at some point was kind of slay tho (also us having to come rescue him from the crystal? also slay) fanfic writers please have them jumping at mirrors and also seeing each other for a while tho, great concept

the final boss had me really surprised, i was 100% expecting ganon to show up or be the final boss (HE WAS ON THE POSTER...AND COVER ART...) but he was just another echo?? so where did null get that echo, exactly? was the ganon at the start that kidnapped zelda the real one, then link killed him and null echoed him from there?? unclear

null was a great final boss conceptually tho and i 100% hope they use them for future games. eldritch horror wasnt what i expected but thats AMAZING (putting their disappointing, sort of chaotic, but not hard final boss fight aside). very scary. very cool. walking around in their insides(??) to get to them (??) was awesome. love when cute games get a lil dark. adds flavor. cool new lore!!! cant wait for the lore implication theory videos to come out (do we think null is stronger than demise?? I decided I Do think so, demise is a Demon and null is some huge cosmic horror, feels like the scales tip to null being stronger...)

why was everyone at the end so shocked at what link said. whatd he say that had them shook i need to know (was it that he could talk again?? wasnt that a temporary problem from being in the void lol??)

need more games to play as zelda now. loved it. best loz game to come out since botw, maybe actually ranks higher in my mind?? (could be recency bias ofc, but it checked so many boxes for me) really fresh concept, my only real gripes are how the final boss fight played out (GIVE ME MY SWORDFIGHTER FORM BACK!!! LET ME SLICE!!) and the dang echo menu being 234234 miles long...the sorting features were nice, but still, needed a better menu for that in general. i scrolled 30 miles in the snow uphill etc.

also barely any of the ost was super stand-out to me, which (like. it was FINE but given how good the music in cadence of hyrule was they shouldve brought those guys back to do this music tbh. that game had me spoiled on good loz remixes. I stand by the fact it has probably the best ost in ALL of the zelda games.)

i LOVED the puzzles and dungeons. missed them soo much in recent loz games. i LOVE PUZZLE!!!!!!!!! none of them were too hard and it also wasnt too hand-holdy. perfect level of makes me think but not Steam my Brain type stuff.

smoothies were cute and really fun to play with. the deku scrubs were SO cute (they all used they/them too i think. based) all the CATS!! WERE SO CUTE!! just really appreciate how cute everything in the game was in general. the fact i could chuck teddy bears at enemies. best game actually

cant say i was crazy about any of the mini games but none were super hard once you had the froggy item. it felt like cheating a lil bit to use it but that was one of the items I wore until the end (along with my cute heart bow of COURSE. cant be saving hyrule if you aint cute)

fav NPCS were hebra mountain guy (conte??) the gerudo chief's daughter (she really felt like zelda's sidon, but not annoying <3) and general wright surprisingly (I really enjoyed how loudly supportive of zelda he was!! he was like YEAH OUR PRINCESS IS SO STRONG SHE CAN FIX IT AND BEAT THOSE MONSTERS!!! LETS GOO i loved that energy for us)

saying goodbye to tri destroyed me. I was crying real ugly tears. (I started thinking about my dog and saying goodbye to him last month and how much tri's speech reminded me of what I told him AUGH. its still fresh and hurts but this was somehow really healing to play. like this came at the perfect time I think)

thoughts subject to change once I watch other people's playthrus and listen to theory videos and think on it for a while but rn? solid 8/10 game (and I only docked points for the dang end boss fight really, REALLY good game up until then)

[digitalgate02]

Y’know, one of the things this fandom seemed to be divided into two parts is about Frontier and Takuya’s “Dark Evolution” in the story. Some pointed it was “Vritramon rampaging phase” in the story, and some would consider “Takuya reverting into Flamon” as the dark evolution of this series.

First, what are the characteristics of Dark Evolution, according to the older three series + Savers? Mixing strong negative emotions and forcing your digimon to evolve. All cases of Dark Evolution before and after Frontier were like this. (I know, the OG Taichi was mostly by being a reckless idiot, but i like to think the novel version explained something a little more about this event)

Character has strong negative feelings and then forces their or someone else’s digimon to dark evolve into a mindless beast. – That’s how things worked in Adv’99, 02, Tamers and Savers.

(you may notice that instead of Daisuke dark evolving his partner, it’s Ken who forces a dark evolution on Taichi’s partner. Which implies yeah anyone could do that. Funny enough, Ken also fits the criteria established in those series: He is a self-absorbed and arrogant kid, so those emotions are mixed in the mix and this is why he evolves Agumon into SkullGreymon first. He only manages to get MetalGreymon virus after he cheats with his Evil/Dark Spiral. Meanwhile Daisuke lacks malice, lacks negative feelings. So he’s just a dumbass in ep 22 getting into trouble in the process.)

However, Ghost Game brought a new view of this concept by introducing GulusGammamon. As you can see, Gulus is a dark evolution (somehow) and it differs from every mindless-beast-on-rampage case we watched until now. But before going into GG take on it, I’d like to talk about the peculiar case in Adventure’s reboot series (aka Psi, or Adv:2020) first:

So, one of the things we saw in the episode from the reboot is that Taichi was getting consumed by the dark miasma around the place. We never had something like this before as well – this series was trying to “corrupt” Taichi too. The last time we saw a “tamer” corruption was on a Drama CD which was more a very weird and for fun story (this was done before the Drama CDs for digimon started to get serious stories) than something to take seriously. Anyway, the reboot was trying to corrupt Taichi first. Second is… Taichi dies for a moment which triggers Agumon’s dark evolution based on Agumon’s strong feelings (and the dark miasma, probably). This is going to be reused in Ghost Game, actually.

Now, back to Ghost Game!! Fun facts for you: Gulus is the only Gamma-form to not have a ring on his wrist/paw. Also, Gulus does not need Hiro to evolve either! But it was triggered by Gammamon’s strong feelings at first – when Bokomon died in front of him. Other cases were probably for survival in a life-or-death scenario for him or any of the trio. Gulus’ has another speech pattern from the other Gammamon forms, and the most important detail is he’s totally sentient. Gulus is more like another personality to Gammamon than being a feral beast in rampage.

But what can Ghost Game help us to decide which “dark evolution” scenario counts for Takuya/Frontier?

First of all, if we ignore Takuya for a moment, Frontier already has a “dark evolution” character – Kimura Kouichi. Duskmon and Velgmon are evil forms, and they’re purified into Loweemon and KaiserLeomon later. And heck, Kouichi himself is the “Warrior of Darkness” c’mon guys!!

BUT, Kouichi’s role is most suitable for the “redeemed villain” category. So yeah, which of Takuya’s cases suit the dark evolution criteria?

I’d like to reveal that, maybe, Frontier was ahead of its time. Because now that we got Ghost Game to break the norm and show us a new approach from this concept, it can help us here to notice Flamon was sort of a dark evolution for Takuya.

Frontier already makes clear that the Beast spirit forms cannot be controlled that easily, and I’ll shamelessly plug Shiha’s meta about everyone’s cases here in case we start the discussion about Izumi again.

So if we consider Vritramon the “dark evolution case”, you could say most of the kids in Frontier had it too. Which is odd, right?

But, if you consider Flamon an unusual dark evolution case, one like Gulus is now, it makes some sense. Dark evolution in the Digimon franchise is sort of “punishment” for not raising your digimon correctly – It’s a challenge, and you have to beat this obstacle to gain the new power/form to proceed. Dark evolution does not always mean “evil form” as well, just, as Gennai puts it in the end of Adventure, “a form not suitable for certain occasions” – So this concludes my thesis that Frontier started the unusual dark evolution forms instead.

Thank y’all for reading~

[shadowonwater]

Pokemon Masters EX: I completed the PML arc, my thoughts so far (spoilers if you care)

This is long and rambley, prepare to be rambled to if you read ahead. Includes thoughts on Team Break, new characters, and how weird Pasio is as a concept.

I honestly really enjoy this game, it's a lot fun to play! I really enjoy the battle gameplay, it's sort of like triple battles from the B & W games. It's interesting how you have both Pokemon moves and trainer moves. I like the use of the move gauge. That you may have to wait a bit to charge the gauge to use a powerful attack or use a bunch of smaller attacks and hope to use a sync move sooner.

I'd say the story isn't quite as good though, but it's like what can you expect from a kid's game? Like I don't want to be that guy that says "It's fine that the story isn't the best because it's for kids". But it's that a lot of stuff that made me roll my eyes was stuff like "We'll win through the power of friendship" and "we won because we had such good teamwork" and in the case of the villains "Pokemon are just tools" (which is pretty much the Pokemon equivalent of a villain that kicks puppies for fun).

It's like, it's a kids game, so yeah. Friendship is important and all that but people don't win via just the power of friendship. If it was only friendship that determined winning, that implies that the people that lose just didn't care enough about each other and I don't like that. It makes me think of the Just World Fallacy where the belief is that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.

Anyway sorry about going off on a tangent. Very quickly, another thing that I'm lightly annoyed by is the main character's sync partner being another goddamn Pikachu. I get it, that's Pokemon's mascot. But I like Raichu more and I'm sick of all these Pikachu's I can't evolve. I was more neutral on Pikachu before but it's everywhere and I am so done with it.

Anyway, Team Break. Not much of a Pokemon game without an evil team, ha ha. They were ok, kind of goofy though, couldn't take them seriously, and it's weird seeing the characters take them seriously. It's interesting that they didn't have full on uniforms, just a mask. Makes it easy to hide I suppose, really anyone could secretly be part of Team Break, I like that implication.

I used to not like them as much when I didn't know what their ultimate motivation was. Also it's interesting that the group didn't really have a character made as the leader, it was just one of the npc models. I'm used to Pokemon having really interesting designs and charismatic personalities from villain team leaders but this leader was really just some guy.

Originally they were just like "mwa ha ha, we steal Pokemon" a lot like Team Rocket really. Villain's stealing Pokemon to use for themselves never really made much sense to me because of how sentient Pokemon are. Like that Pokemon you stole knows that you stole them, why would they ever do what you want them to do, y'know? Like, with Hoopa later in the story, it's like, why is Hoopa doing what you want it to do? It can literally create portals? Why doesn't it just leave? That was never answered. The true answer is it didn't leave because the story needed it to stay.

Anyway, I feel it was a little unclear, maybe because I was only half paying attention. But I think it was said that Team Break specifically formed to mess up the tournament because they don't like Lear. Which is fair because Lear is kind of an ass, and even with his redemption I'm still not sure he's make for a good king, but then again I don't think anyone makes for a good king, king's should not exist. Too much power, really.

So they were stealing Pokemon to help them interrupt the tournament. And I might be reading into this a little but the whole Villain Team act was also to cause problems with the tournament. Maybe they were hoping that a villain team might cause the tournament to be cancelled or something? Anyway this also implies that maybe they weren't serious about permanently stealing Pokemon, but that it was just another part of trying to put it to a stop.

Yeah I'm probably giving them to much credit. But I'm vibing with the idea of a villain group that are going out of their way to look like villains to help achieve a not so bad goal. Makes me think about the goal of the Villain from Fossil Fighters 2 who turned out to not really be a villain after all.

Prince Lear put this whole thing on to convince his dad to name him his successor. So considering Lear is kind of an ass I can 100% see why people would not want him to be a king. So trying to interrupt the tournament because of that is totally valid. Anyway he became a better person so Team Break didn't really have much reason to stay together anymore. I guess you could say Team Break got Broken up.

Anyway, speaking of Lear, this game introduced 4 new characters into Pokelore. That being Lear and his retainers, Rachel and Sawyer. As Well as main character's rival Paulo. I ended up really liking Lear, Rachel, and Sawyer. I'm a bit mixed on Paulo. Partly because I'm not entirely sure what they're trying to do with him.

Like, the thing about Paulo, is that he's one of those rivals that is really affected by losing to you all the time. But unlike Hop, he's less sad about losing and more angry. Like it feels like he's going to do something dangerous and drastic to try to get power, and the story is encouraging this idea. I've played part of the Team Rocket story and it is also encouraging that idea.

Honestly, I LOVE the idea of a formerly friendly rival becoming a bad guy because they can't handle the frustration of losing all the time to you. I understand that. Frustration can really bring out the worst in people, including me. It's just that I'm not sure if the story is going to go through with it. It feels like a carrot being dangled on a stick to me. I want Paulo to give in to his frustration and become a villain, at least for a little while. As a treat. Like, come on story! Pull through with it! You're hinting at it so much! Gimme evil Paulo! If they don't do anything I'm going to be very disappointed.

Anyway I'm fond of how much Rachel and Sawyer care about Lear, they knew him before he was an ass. He used to be a really nice kid. When they said it started when his mother died, at first I wasn't on board because I didn't that that alone was a good enough reason to become as ass. But then they further explained that after his mom died he was basically sent to a boarding school. Where he was treated very badly there for 2 years (I think it was stated to be 2 years). We get to see a little bit of his time like that and it was indeed bad. So I was like, yeah I can now see how he became how he is. He kept hoping for someone to come and help him but no one really did so he lost his trust in others and learned that he can only rely on himself.

Well I guess he had one thing helping him, the mythical Pokemon Hoopa. I like the foreshadowing they gave Hoopa so it didn't feel like it came out of nowhere in the story. Although you could have potentially avoided the stuff about Hoopa because it was like bonus stuff. There were also sync stories talking about people getting teleported to the island through Hoopa's rings.

It was mentioned earlier in the story that Lear got Hoopa to help them make the artificial island by transporting stuff. I think Sawyer mentioned bribing it with doughnuts. Which I think is hilarious because of course the Pokemon with magic rings loves a ring shaped pastry, do you think it also likes onion rings and chicken rings? (Or would they be Torchic rings?)

Anyway it was said that Rachel and Sawyer had no idea where he got Hoopa and he refused to really explain it to them. Turns out he met Hoopa as a child when he was stuck in that awful bordering school. I'm not really sure why Hoopa didn't try to teleport him out, but then again I doubt that would really make things better for him since people would probably search for him. But anyway, Hoopa was his companion during that time and would teleport in and out to hang with him. But after he went back home he didn't see Hoopa again, I suppose it didn't know where he went?

While he's at the beach he first met Hoopa at, he sees Hoopa again and enlists it's help in building Pasio by using it's rings to transport stuff. I like the plot point that he can't use sync moves because he's not close enough to his Pokemon to use them. That is until he realizes he has a sync pair with Hoopa.

I like what this story does with Hoopa what with using it help explain how the island was made. I'm also just fond of stories in general about mythicals and legendaries. I like it when they get integrated into a plot.

Anyway, Pasio. Really fucking weird actually. Dude straight up makes an island, by like... taking pieces of other places and combining them together??? And somehow there aren't any wild Pokemon??? What.

Pasio really does not make sense.

Like where did he get all those pieces to make such a big island? How the hell are people not raising a fuss over this? Taking pieces of other countries is a political nightmare, did he pay for those or something??? How does taking these pieces effect the ecosystem of where they come from?? It's a political nightmare, a logistical nightmare, and I'm not sure how you even get those pieces to stick together.

Also why are there no wild Pokemon? Really there should have been Pokemon hanging out in those places that he took, did Hoopa teleport them out of something? What's to stop wild Pokemon from showing up? Clearly some legendaries start showing up in Legendary Adventures. What's to stop flying Pokemon from flying in? and What's to stop water Pokemon from swimming in?

Imagine being on an island with no animals aside from visitor's pets. That'd be kind of eerie right? Reminds me of Danganronpa v3 a bit. I imagine given time the island will have wild Pokemon showing up, it's still very weird that it's empty now. In Gardina's sync story she says that she thinks that the island will eventually lead to new regional forms. I think she's got a point, it would still probably take awhile for that to happen though.

Anyway a small thing, it's really funny having scouted sync pairs before finishing the main story and then having those characters show up in the story and act like they aren't in your team. I guess the people writing maybe didn't anticipate I would do scouting on my own before finishing the main story. The fact that I can fight people with themselves is also really funny. And because there are characters with multiple sync pairs you can have multiple versions of 1 character on your team. Like I could be fighting someone with Gym Leader Brock and also Sync Suit Brock. I guess it's an area where game mechanics don't make sense story wise. I guess with Brock he could be using two Pokemon at once, it's still funny though.

Anyway that's all I wanted to say for now, might make more posts to talk about specific sync stories or talk about Legendary Adventures or The Villain Team stories.

[uesp]

Theory: Todd is the sleeping Godhead that we all talk about. Also he achieved absolute CHIM

You're definitely free to come up with whatever theory on that you like, but if you're genuinely curious, I would say you're a bit off from the intended takeaway.

Trying to figure out who the Godhead is a bit of a self-defeating exercise. In fact, to get a bit ahead of the point I'm going to make, it's often easier to describe the One by what he is not. If you're looking at the rare in-series mentions of the Godhead (most of the uses of "godhead" are actually referring to more generic godhood, which is also a more modern form of "godhead"), you come up with two mentions of the Godhead, and only one of them describes the Godhead at all.

The eyes, once bleached by falling stars of utmost revelation, will forever see the faint insight drawn by the overwhelming question, as only the True Enquiry shapes the edge of thought. The rest is vulgar fiction, attempts to impose order on the consensus mantlings of an uncaring godhead.

From Waking Dreams of A Starless Sky

The Godhead is uncaring. And that is basically the depth of actual text on the Godhead. If you go with sources that did not appear in the game, you'll do a bit better, but not really to any satisfying degree. So how do we get a satisfying answer? We escape the confines of the rare and deliberately esoteric mentions of this part of the lore and look at its real-world inspiration. Speaking for myself, the best summary of this part of the lore I ever read is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnosticism

Sincerely, after reading that and its associated articles, I went from "wow this is all a bit complex" to "alright, this is surprisingly straightforward". To tangent slightly, while there are numerous fan writings that try to explore these concepts, and I do enjoy a lot of them, I find that some of them often have trouble expressing what it all actually means because they often restrict themselves to the trappings of TES. We're going to remove those trappings, and see if it helps.

If you want more help, here is how I mentally tie some TES lore topics to its real world counterpart.

The Godhead is the Godhead (Monad)

CHIM is Gnosis

CHIM has been described as the secret syllable of royalty. It is best understood as a state of being which allows for escape from all known laws and limitations. It is the process of reaching some sort of epiphany about the nature of the universe and one's place in it, leading to a simultaneous comprehension of the full scope of existence as well as one's own individuality.

Gnosis is the common Greek noun for knowledge. It is best known from Gnosticism, where it signifies a spiritual knowledge or insight into humanity's real nature as divine, leading to the deliverance of the divine spark within humanity from the constraints of earthly existence.

Amaranth is Emanationism

The Tower touches all the mantles of Heaven, brother-noviates, and by its apex one can be as he will. More: be as he was and yet changed for all else on that path for those that walk after. This is the third key of Nu-mantia and the secret of how mortals become makers, and makers back to mortals.

Emanationism is an idea in the cosmology or cosmogony of certain religious or philosophical systems. Emanation, from the Latin emanare meaning "to flow from" or "to pour forth or out of", is the mode by which all things are derived from the first reality, or principle. All things are derived from the first reality or perfect God by steps of degradation to lesser degrees of the first reality or God, and at every step the emanating beings are less pure, less perfect, less divine. Emanationism is a transcendent principle from which everything is derived, and is opposed to both creationism (wherein the universe is created by a sentient God who is separate from creation) and materialism (which posits no underlying subjective and/or ontological nature behind phenomena being immanent).

Anu and Padomay and their derivatives are Aeons

Lorkhan is the Demiurge

Lorkhan, the Missing God, is the Creator-Trickster-Tester deity present in every Tamrielic mythic tradition. He is known as the Spirit of Nirn, the god of all mortals. Names for versions or aspects of Lorkhan include Lorkhaj (the Moon Beast) in Elsweyr, Lorkh, the Spirit of Man, the Mortal Spirit, or the Sower of Flesh to the Reachmen, Sep in Hammerfell, Sheor in High Rock, Shor in Skyrim, and Shezarr in Cyrodiil. He convinced or contrived the Original Spirits (et'Ada) to bring about the creation of the Mundus, upsetting the status quo—much like his (figurative) father Padomay is usually credited for introducing instability, and hence possibility for creation, into the undivided universe (or the Beginning Place).

In the Platonic, Neopythagorean, Middle Platonic, and Neoplatonic schools of philosophy, the demiurge is an artisan-like figure responsible for fashioning and maintaining the physical universe. The Gnostics adopted the term demiurge. Although a fashioner, the demiurge is not necessarily the same as the creator figure in the monotheistic sense, because the demiurge itself and the material from which the demiurge fashions the universe are both considered consequences of something else. Depending on the system, they may be considered either uncreated and eternal or the product of some other entity.

The word demiurge is an English word derived from demiurgus, a Latinised form of the Greek δημιουργός or dēmiurgós. It was originally a common noun meaning "craftsman" or "artisan", but gradually came to mean "producer", and eventually "creator". The philosophical usage and the proper noun derive from Plato's Timaeus, written c. 360 BC, where the demiurge is presented as the creator of the universe. The demiurge is also described as a creator in the Platonic (c. 310–90 BC) and Middle Platonic (c. 90 BC – AD 300) philosophical traditions. In the various branches of the Neoplatonic school (third century onwards), the demiurge is the fashioner of the real, perceptible world after the model of the Ideas, but (in most Neoplatonic systems) is still not itself "the One". In the arch-dualist ideology of the various Gnostic systems, the material universe is evil, while the non-material world is good. According to some strains of Gnosticism, the demiurge is malevolent, as it is linked to the material world. In others, including the teaching of Valentinus, the demiurge is simply ignorant or misguided.

I think that by seeing these concepts side by side it will help make sense of it all. You can definitely research this further, and argue that specific parts of the lore are more directly related to other concepts, but from my limited understanding of theology/philosophy, this is a framework for understanding what the lore was based on, and the ideas that might otherwise go unconnected. If you can do better than me here, by all means, be better than me.

But this takes us to the secret question within all of this: How does this effect the setting? The answer to that is that it really doesn't. Knowing that the setting of The Elder Scrolls is the material world created by the Demiurge, separating its inhabitants from the Godhead, doesn't really change anything. After all, you can literally say the exact same thing about our world. The presence of these concepts in The Elder Scrolls setting should change how you appreciate it in roughly the same way that this school of thought existing in our own world changes your view on our setting.

If you thought this was interesting, I certainly agree with you. If you think this is all a bit too much, and don't want to think about it anymore, you won't be missing out on much by ignoring it going forward. If you want to explore different theories on this, you’re definitely free too, I hope you enjoy exploring your own thoughts on this subject.

[reginaldqueribundus]

what is a Star Trek?

Star Trek is about people being sexy and overly dramatic in space. It takes place in a future where humans have solved all their problems and flown out into the stars to find more problems and have ethical conundrums about them while tricking the audience into thinking about real-world issues.

Earth doesn’t have war, famine or Jeff Bezos anymore since humans became best friends with a bunch of space elves with bowl cuts who pretend they don’t feel emotions and they formed a club with their alien friends where everybody can just chill and be cool. Sometimes they get into fights with space orcs or cyborg zombies trying to strip everyone of their individuality but it’s usually resolved pretty quickly so they can go back to chilling and exploring space.

Every time they Boldly Go into space they find Weird Shit™ and People Who Are Very Different but this is resolved by doing technology stuff or making dramatic speeches. The elves also have imperialist cousins (dark elves) who sneak around in invisible ships and every once in a while try to trick us into getting in a fight with them, but this never works and they end up taking their football and going home.

Star Trek comes in 10 flavours:

The Original Series (Original Flavour) 1966 – 1969: a feminist captain with a weird speech pattern, a charming redneck doctor and a space elf drama queen (who is half human but very much in denial about it) go to space and run into all sorts of crazy things like sentient rocks, Cold War allegories, pouty gods and evil doppelgangers. The captain is gay for the elf who argues with the doctor all the time and a Scottish guy fixes the ship which is flown by Lieutenant Cheekbones while a Singing Queen keeps the phones working. Later they get a boy who insists everything was inwented in Russia. There are lots of miniskirts, fistfights and ripped shirts. The show was also adapted into a trippy animated series (Cartoon Flavour, 1973-1974: basically the same show but with a catgirl and even weirder shit going on) and six movies:

The Motion Picture (1979): putting the band back together to stop a giant space cloud who is just misunderstood. Everyone gets even gayer.

The Wrath of Khan (1982): this guy with his tits out hates the captain! He quotes Moby Dick a lot and steals a SPACE BOMB OH NO. The elf reaches peak drama queen.

The Search for Spock (1984): gotta go steal our ship so we can go find the elf on the Minecraft Planet, wish this orc would stop killing people

The Voyage Home (1986): gotta go to the 1980s to find some WHALES

The Final Frontier (1989): the elf has a secret brother who is EVEN GAYER and wants to find god

The Undiscovered Country (1991): time to stop being orc racist

The Next Generation (Sequel Flavour) 1987 – 1994: Same concept as TOS but there’s more of it. The captain is a bald guy who talks like he’s in a Shakespeare play all the time. There’s a bearded guy who’s always DTF, Doctor Mom, and a trained psychologist (who mostly gets used as a lie detector). The engineer is a dork who loves to cosplay Sherlock Holmes with his robot boyfriend, and since the orcs are our friends now one of them works on the ship and his job is to get beat up every episode. They spend a lot of time getting stuck in their cosplay machine, dealing with dark elves being sneaky, and getting kidnapped by a trickster god who wants to peg the captain. Also has four movies that are mostly about the captain and the robot:

Generations (1994): bald captain falls into a time hole and meets the original captain and they stop a mad scientist from exploding the sun

First Contact (1996): bald captain came here to do 2 things: stop the cyberzombies from altering history, and quote Moby Dick. AND HE’S ALL OUTTA MOBY DICK QUOTES. Robot bones the zombie queen.

Insurrection (1998): gotta save these hippies from…us?

Nemesis (2002): gotta stop this bald guy in leather from killing everyone

Deep Space Nine (Story Arc Flavour) 1993 – 1999: Instead of flying a ship around they’re on a space station guarding a wormhole to the other end of space (but sometimes they still fly around). The captain is a single dad who meets gods in the wormhole and accidentally becomes Moses to a race of aliens who defeated the fascist space lizards. His 2nd in command is a terrorist who fought the lizards, his best friend has an immortal worm in her stomach that carries memories of her past lives, and their grumpy Irish mechanic accidentally becomes best friends with a very annoying doctor. Head of security is a blob of Jello who can turn into anything he wants except a nice person. He’s always trying to arrest the bartender, a space goblin who worships capitalism. One of the fascist lizards keeps coming back to annoy them because he is Horny. There is also a gay assassin lizard who makes dresses, plus Pope Karen and literal demons. Later they have to fight an army of drug-addicted clones who came out of the wormhole. This one is my favourite!

Voyager (Action Adventure Flavour): Captain Mom Friend is chasing some rebels and her whole ship gets thrown to the opposite end of space (not the one with the convenient wormhole). She tries to get them home while dealing with cabin fever, aliens who try to kill them for trespassing, and a tragic lack of coffee. Her best friend is an elf but is not so Dramatic about it, their Doctor is a hologram who wants to be an opera singer, their pilot is obsessed with Flash Gordon, the engineer is half orc and the commander is a cheesy Native American stereotype who wants to bone the captain but they NEVER DO. They pick up this weird furry guy who cooks for them and almost kills the ship with cheese. Later she adopts one of the cyberzombies, and they spend a lot of time deliberately pissing off the cyborg zombie queen and it’s great. RIP to the psychic elf girl, she deserved better.

Enterprise (Prequel Flavour) 2001 – 2005: Humans are flying around in space for the first time, trying to make new friends (like the blue antenna people) so they can form their club, which doesn’t exist yet. The elves are kind of dicks about it, but they start to come around. The captain is a big lovable dork who gets beat up a lot and brings his dog everywhere. His best friend is a redneck and their doctor is a polyamorous puffer fish with a zillion weird pets and they fly around with an uptight British guy and their elf babysitter and a pilot who was born in space and a translator lady who just wants to go home. After being pestered by the time police for awhile, they have to stop some zoo people who want to make Earth go boom. Sadly gets cancelled just as they get down to business.

Kelvin Timeline (Reboot Flavour) 2009, 2013, 2016: three movies with new actors playing younger versions of the Original Series characters. An angry miner does a space elf genocide and makes a new timeline where the captain is a horny frat boy and his elf boyfriend is Straight™ and has temper tantrums all the time. They throw the angry miner in a black hole and then they fight Benedict Cumberbatch and a freaky vampire lizard man and his bees. Lots of big spaceships and explosions and the Beastie Boys.

Discovery (Modern Flavour) 2017 – now: now with Canon Gays! The elf from the beginning has a secret human sister who goes to jail for being right and ends up on a new ship with a grumpy fungus man who figured out how to fly around the universe with mushrooms, an adorable redhead nerd who talks a lot, a space gazelle man with Anxiety, Sadman the Spoiler, and mushroom guy’s doctor boyfriend. They & their rotating series of captains try to stop the space orcs from being such huge assholes, chase an angel around the galaxy, fight an evil computer and then time travel into the future where they have to fight Crimelord Elphaba and figure out why all the spaceships exploded, joined by Disney Princess Man, Nonbinary Squid Child and “Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time” Lady who is the best character even though she is Evil™.

Picard (Edgy Flavour) 2020 – now: Bald captain is back! And he comes out of retirement to help his friends Drug-Smoking Conspiracy Lady and Space Elf Samurai find out why the dark elves hate robots so damn much. Cyborg lady is back and she gets to wear real clothes this time. Sexy soccer man gives them a ride in his spaceship which is infested with a million holograms of himself so they can save the robots from Dark Elf Boytoy and Commodore Sunglasses before the robots make a terrible phone call. Lots of swearing and murder and homemade pizza.

Lower Decks (Joke Flavour) 2020 – now: Cartoon Flavour is back, but this time it’s funny on purpose! This time we aren’t focusing on the people in charge; this show is about the grunts! Specifically a girl with massive mommy issues who is 2cool4school, a dork who sucks and loves rules, and a green girl and a cyborg who are adorable nerds together. Along with Captain Mom, Commander Benchpress, Doctor Grumpycat and the angriest man in the universe they will boldly make fun of all the other Star Treks.

There are lots of people on the internet who will try to tell you which of these flavours is the Good Star Trek and which ones are Bad. Some of them will even say this or that flavour is Not Star Trek. Those people are wrong and you should enjoy whatever flavour you think is the most fun! Some of the flavours start out kind of bland at first but they grow on you, others are too spicy for some people and that’s ok. You might enjoy all the flavours or just one (or even none at all) but the important thing is you get to decide! Because the best thing about Star Trek is there’s a lot of it.

————————————————————————

see more “Sam Explains Pop Culture” here

[lord-of-christmas-lights]

I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

[reversemoon255]

(This is the second of a three-part series chronicling the story, concepts, and original Pokémon that appeared in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign I worked on for several months. This entry will be more focused on a lot of my original designs and how their encounters would play out, rather than concrete story. Also, much of the art was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter, and I suggest you check them out.)

Dungeons ‘n’ Dragonites - Phase 2: Ultra City

The Queen Durant would prove to be a difficult foe, able to use all manner of elemental attacks to strike from a distance to compensate for her low speed. Furthermore, she would have full command of the Duranthill, using her followers to guard herself. As the battle rages, the team slowly begin to evolve, and their newfound strength and Types, along with the aid of the Princess, would have them see victory.

I was unsure as to the ultimate fate of the Queen. Either having it disappear into the tunnels alone, or be sucked into another Ultra Wormhole like the Poipole. And with the Queen vanquished, the Princess would choose to become partner to whoever she felt most worthy (a combination of good role playing and damage dealt).

I designed every Pokémon in this campaign under the pretense that it could actually exist. The Queen and Princess fall under the category of “Rare Variants.” There’s only one queen in a colony of thousands of ants, so it makes sense for it to be rarely seen. They’re still Bug/Steel, but special attackers, with the three spheres on each of their abdomens made to mimic the pattern of Tri-Attack, symbolizing their ability to use those Types.

As for the Starter evos, Flymph has evolved into Epipesis, gained the Electric-Type, and become a full Dragonfly. Calfyre into Steared, staying mono-Fire, but growing considerably (4 feet at the shoulder, the largest mid-stage Starter). Squisque into Knaval who’s now Rock, because he’s a rock lobster! And Utaw into Uteteo who may still be pure Fairy, but has gained some gold adornments.

=====

My working title for this campaign was “Ultra City.” Hinted at by the appearance of the Poipole early in the game, my intentions would come into full swing during this portion, with boss encounters against many of the known and some unknown Ultra Beasts. I had a few encounters planned, from a pickpocket Pheramosa that they’d fight in a mall store room full of mannequins, to a Blacephalon that had kidnapped several children, hypnotized them, and had them watching his performances, to a beach episode where there’s just a Buzzwole hanging out and not causing trouble.

Things would take a twist when a Guzzlord would take over the abandoned district, raining destruction down from its highest building. The crew would have to climb a multi-floor dungeon in order to battle it, many scared and aggravated Pokémon blocking their paths. After reaching the top however, after initiative had been rolled, a mysterious Pokémon would descend from the sky, felling Guzzlord in a single strike...

Majra, the Dragoon Pokémon (a slurred portmanteau of Magic and Dragon). A Dragon hunter with a unique ability, “Hunter of Evil,” that removes all its resistances but makes it immune to Dragon, Dark, and Ghost. This Pokémon came about as I was trying to create a dramatic encounter that would interrupt an expected one. As I was thumbing through DnD and fantasy ideas, the idea of a Dragoon who furiously hunts Dragon-Types came to mind. Ice/Fairy seemed the perfect combination, and the sentient suit of ice armor fell into place soon after. As Pokémon don’t typically hold weapons, I made him part scorpion, having him hold his tail as a workaround, and also informed how his extremities would look. The Haxorus skull buckler also helped drive the Dragon hunter aspect home.

Ultra Beasts were the second category of original Pokémon in my campaign, and encompass all purely original Pokémon (including the Starters). However, I didn’t want to just haphazardly make a ton (as commissions cost money), so I gave myself the condition that if I made an Ultra Beast it had to play with weaknesses and resistances in a way to trip up experienced players, hence Majra’s ability.

Majra would not attack our players in their first encounter, unless someone was using a Type he hunts. He would be a reoccurring boss character, helping or hindering the players depending on their enemies or allies.

The next unique encounter would have been a tutorial battle against another Rare Variant, a Shiinotic possessed Parasect. Every boss encounter is technically 4-on-1, so I wanted to give a Pokémon a reason to have multiple turns, and fused or symbiotic Pokémon felt like a naturally occurring way to have that happen. I created this Shiinotic as a way to teach the players how these Pokémon work.

As Shiinotic is a bio-luminescent mushroom, I wanted to have Parasect faded in color from its light. I also thought it’d be a nice touch to have Shiinotic’s spindly fingers act as puppet strings to move Parasect’s arms around. It would have been encountered after a swarm of scared Paras started flooding out of the sewers near everyone’s school.

Then would be Fortifiend, who would be encountered a few times as an easily circumventable castle wall in the middle of the street before Majra would eventually attack it, forcing our players to take a side in the battle (with Fortifiend possibly joining them if they help it). His ability would make all attacks not very effective while it had over 50% HP, and the opposite when under 50%. Despite the name, I pictured him being very nice, and giggle whenever he heard someone compliment his stone structure.

I imagined that the world he came from had naturally occurring stone structures similar to him, and his folded castle form was a sort of net to help him catch large prey; partly why he doesn’t attack the smaller people and Pokémon of the game’s dimension (he’s around 30ft tall). He could be encountered anywhere, so he wasn’t a full quest; just a fun “what the heck is this” moment to confuse players.

Also, while it wasn’t purposeful, Fortifiend and Majra both also matched the DnD aesthetic. That definitely helped them stand out as some of my favorites, and Fortifiend barely missed the final pass for the last round of commissions.

Then was the twin encounter of Feyerre, a Fire-Type igloo and snowmobile Pokémon, and Eyescse, an Ice-Type pyramid and four-wheeler Pokémon (probably the most Ultra Beast-esque concepts I came up with). They would be messing with the weather across the city, causing disturbances until the players eventually found one of them, in when the other would appear. Their ability would flip their weaknesses and resistances, and they would have an attack that could do the same to a target. And fun fact: there’s meaning to the color and number of their eyes! Feyerre’s are F.I.R.E (Fire=Red, Ice=L.Blue, Rock=Brown, Electric=Yellow), and Eyescse’s are I.C.E (Ice=L.Blue, Sea=D.Blue, Electric=Yellow).

But their defeat would incur the wrath of a mysterious Pokémon they had encountered a few times:

“As you turn around, you see a grey Charizard standing there. It stares at you for a moment, wide-eyed and unblinking. Then it begins to open its mouth, wide, wider, and wider still, stretching beyond what should be possible. Then a hand reaches out of it...

“Suddenly you’re falling. The lights and sounds of countless unknown worlds whir past you incomprehensibly as you plummet through time and space. You try to close your eyes to shut out the flurry of stimuli, but it’s impossible to drown out as your minds begin to feel the strain of the void. Then, after what feels like hours, time seems to stand still as the heavy rain of an unknown world hits your face. For a brief moment you are able to take in the desert that surrounds you before a flash of lightning illuminates the sky, revealing a titanic silhouette looming above you before you are once again thrown into darkness. And as you come to outside the warehouse (where you encountered Feyerre and Eyescse), in the distance, you hear what sounds like laughing.

“Fofofofofo...”

The final original encounter I had planned for Stage 2 was Meadew. It would have been wandering the city, spawning grasses and flowers wherever it went. However, while beautiful, the sudden growth would be causing havoc and destruction to all the buildings and vehicles it could root into.

Unlike the other Ultra Beasts, Meadew’s ability didn’t affect its weaknesses, but instead created Substitutes since I wanted a way for it to form its own adds (the concept behind its inception). However, it wasn’t without a Type gimmick; rather than an ability it has a signature status move called “Radiance” that raises its attack and special, as well as give it the Fire-Type, making it Grass/Water/Fire (the 3 Starter Types). It would invoke this after its adds were defeated, but could be talked down through diplomacy, unlike some of the other encounters.

=====

I’ve mentioned Rare Variants and Ultra Beasts, but there was a third Type of original Pokémon that could appear: Mutant Evolutions. Essentially, evolutions like Probopass or Leafeon where being in an energy charged area or coming into contact with a huge ore deposit (what I interpreted the Mossy and Icy Rocks as, since they became Leaf and Ice Stones in later Gens) could force an unusual evolution in a Pokémon already shown to be susceptible to unique evolutionary conditions. Due to a future encounter, I already knew there would be large Metal Coat and Ice Stone Ore deposits in the mountains to the north, so I wanted to do some test prototyping using each of those items, whether I used those evolutions or not.

Poliwhirl is already shown to be capable of multiple evolutions, all of which use items, so I thought having it come into contact with a massive amount of Ice Stone Ore (since it should be chemically similar to Water Stones) could force a Mutant Evolution. This is Policuti, from the Latin Cutis meaning skin, and Poli-Cutis would mean “multiple skins,” as it wears the shed skin of preevolution. And being freshly shed is why its skin lacks pigment. It’s just a cute little frog in a raincoat! Also, the swirl on its jaw is actually its tongue.

Since Magneton evolves into Magnezone through being electrically charged, I thought about how it might evolve if charged with Steel energy. I imagined it being magnetically attracted to the Metal Coat Ore, fiercely trying to pull itself away, being stretched and elongated in the process, resulting in the bullet train Pokémon Magneline. The Mutant Evolutions weren’t supposed to be anything important to the story or that they’d run into in the wild. They were more so surprises to excite the players who would be expecting something, well, expected. I had considered doing at least one for each player if they caught a compatible Pokémon, but as no teams were filled out, I was merely left with my prototypes. The only reason I had these two commissioned was because I was very happy with their designs.

=====

As we reach the end of Stage 2, the reoccurring group of rowdy Onix would return once more. Following them deep into their tunnels, our heroes would come across a massive chamber with a giant metal stalagmite and frozen stalactite in the center of it. The Onix would then appear, twisting around them, forcing their evolutions. One into Steelix, and the other into Glacix...

[maxwell-grant]

So, any thoughts on The Green Lama (who unexpectedly became one of my faves), the Pulp Hero who is also a Superhero?

Much like other pulp heroes of the time, The Green Lama had multiple secret identities and a massive supporting cast aiding him in his quest for justice. Unlike his contemporaries, The Green Lama eschewed guns in favor of radioactive salts, magic, and sleight of hand. He rarely, if ever, killed his enemies. His tales also had an advanced sense of continuity, with characters growing and changing over time, plot points introduced in one story paying off several tales later. The Green Lama is a character of contradictions, driven forward by a faith he is forced to betray. It makes him flawed and imperfect, and in that way, one of the most human of all pulp heroes - The Green Lama: Scions

While not the "only" example of a pulp hero who is a superhero, The Green Lama is arguably the one who leans the most into the superhero aspect out of all the classic 30s pulp heroes that usually get brought up. I would argue that The Green Lama is the most direct answer to the question "what happens when you combine The Shadow and Superman together", considering he was modeled extensively after both in his forays into pulp, radio and comic books, and has also grown into his own character.

He's got the unique skills bordering on superpowers (that eventually became outright superpowers). He's got pretty much The Spectre's costume, except of course he came first. He's an urban costumed crimefighter wh deals with gangsters and criminal masterminds, and yet has an extremely strong stance against killing and carrying guns under any circumstance, even saying they would make him no better than the criminals he fights, which makes him by default the pulp hero that Batman would get along best with. The comics took it way further even turning the “Om Ma-ne Pad-me Hum” chant into a Shazam! transformation cry (Shazam came first, although the two debuted in the same year).

He's got a suitably punchy and dramatic origin: guy spends 10 years in Tibet and returns to America intend on spreading Buddhism's pacifist doutrine, only to witness the murder of children at the hands of mobsters the literal second he steps off the boat, and after spending restless days in the police station to see if they would find the culprit, he sees the killer walk out of the commissioner's office free, which convinces him he needs to take up crimefighting because the police are useless, and he outright calls the police "incompetent" in a letter to the papers that he uses to introduce himself to the world, which is not something you find often in 30s/40s fiction even if's an implicit part of the pulp hero/superhero fantasy.

He had a stronger sense of continuity than most pulp heroes were usually afforded. He has a lot of the pulp hero stock and trade like the assistants and the pseudo-science and the odd radio gadgets and of course the Orientalism that we'll get into, but remixed in a pretty cool way that allows him to stand out from his inspiration. He's got incredibly weird aspects to him like the fact that he gets enhanced abilities from crystallized salt or even becoming radioactive (which could be interesting to explore considering "radiation" became the go-to origin for superpowers in the 60s). He's got an allright supporting cast and Magga, while ultimately a deus ex machina, is a very interesting addition to it and I wish her mystery was played up more often in subsequent stories past the original run. There's a lot about The Green Lama that really works, he was incredibly successful at the time and he's managed to thrive over the years lot more than most of his contemporaries

Despite all the powers he wielded he felt impotent, nothing more than a rich boy playing the games of gods. He had chosen the path of the Bodhisattva, sacrificing himself for the good of all sentient beings, but even so the weight of responsibility, the lives of so many in his hands, threatened to crush him. It was tempting to turn away, to deny his calling, but the life of a Bodhisattva demanded more; and it was only recently that he had begun to realize how much it truly required.

The main problem with The Green Lama, and by problem I mean "the character works fine for his time but this is seriously holding him back from becoming sustainable again", is the fact that he's a white rich man who fights crime by going as hard into Orientalism tropes as possible, which is inescapably baked into the premise.

Now, I will argue that The Green Lama was, for his time, a progressive character. The Buddhist aspects of his character weren't just backstory fodder or an excuse for his superpowers as they were to pretty much every other character at the time, Jethro was a practicing Buddhist, who fought crime informed by his beliefs, trying to respect them (and not exactly succeeding) and offering a wholly positive perspective of Buddhism. Nowadays, it creates a problem, but at the time, it made the character stand out from every other hero who had "traveled to Tibet" checked out, because Tibet and Buddhism were heavily incorporated into the character. The Lama may have been born merely out of a desire to cash in on The Shadow's newfound radio popularity, but Crossen took it much more seriously than his contemporaries and made it an effort to instill admiration in his readers towards what he was referencing, which he was pulling from books about the subject and the Pali language. Is research the bare minimum? Yes. But it’s a bare minimum that even today’s writers don’t do even having an infinitely bigger wealth of information at their disposal. 

To further cement my point: There's a particular Green Lama comic story called The Four Freedoms, which is about the Lama receiving a letter from a fan in the army who's worried about a racist private who keeps insulting the black privates while crowing about racial superiority, and so the Lama kidnaps the private and takes him on a tour through Germany so he can witness firsthand how his talk aligns with Nazi ideology, even specifically referring to Jim Crow's laws, criticizing how easily Americans fall for racial war rhetoric, and pointing out the idea of racism as a tool of tyrants to divide and conquer. It's not my place to champion this as some great representation and that's not what I'm doing, but if this all seems passe or simplistic or even problematic to you, trust me, this was still the era of Slap-A-Jap Superman, stories like this were absolutely not the norm at the time, even in other stories where superheroes dealt with racial discrimination.

He even caps off the story by stating that punching or ending Hitler is not the solution (although he lets Jones take a couple of swings) because Hitler is just one part of a much bigger problem that needs to be fought on all of it's forms. It's all very much afterschool special/anti-racism PSA, sure, but it's easier to mock those in our time. You find me a Golden Age superhero comic that shits on Jim Crow specifically while the hero tells the reader that Hitler is not the ultimate evil but merely "a cog in the wheel", part of a problem that's deeply entrenched in America's own shores (really, do, I'm genuinely curious if more of them did anything like this).

Does any part of what I said negates the fact that, at the end of the day, he's still a white man using Orientalism mysticism to fight crime? No, it doesn't. And if Iron Fist can't get away with it, if Dr Strange only just barely does, the Green Lama sure as hell can't. And you cannot downplay those aspects either lest you end up with a completely different character. It's a bit of a conundrum that makes the character tricky to approach from a revival perspective.

I completely agree with what you said here, Green Lama would benefit from a Legacy Hero approach very strongly. And Green Lama: Scions opens up an interesting possibility of Jethro Dumont not being quite what he seems, backed up by the fact that he wore disguise make-up in the original stories:

They had a lot of names for him in the papers—the Verdant Avenger, the Mysterious Man of Strength—but Reynolds had always been partial to “Buddhist Bastard.” No one had ever seen his face or, at the very least, the same face. Seemed like everyone had a different story. The Green Lama was white, he was black, he was asian, he was old, and he was young. You could fill a room of witnesses and no two would describe the same person.

Really I think if you just got rid of that one thing that holds the Lama back the most from catching on in modern times, I think he's the kind of character that lends itself a lot to long-term sustainability. He's already fairly popular as is, definitely an indispensable inclusion of any shared pulp hero or Golden Age superhero universe and definitely one of my favorites among the 30s American pulp heroes. And there’s ways to make the concept more interesting and workable.

Maybe The Green Lama is just a title that's been going on for generations, with Jethro being one of many to fill in. Maybe Magga used to be it, maybe the tulku that instructed Jethro did, maybe there's a new character with it. Maybe Jethro is just an identity used by an Asian-American adventurer to operate safely in the US, or maybe Jethro has a sort of Lamont Cranston arrangement going on. Maybe he's part of the reason why Tibet was the superpower capital of the world in the 30s or 40s, or part of the reason why radiation started granting so many heroes superpowers in the 60s.

The character's skillset has been fairly "anything goes" ever since his author made him a flying superman for the comics, and really he already started out being able to deliver electric shocks through his fingers by guzzling radioactive salts. He's a very weird character, and I will always argue that weird is what works best for the pulp heroes.

[ausp-ice]

The second part of the story of Malice and Val's meeting! You can see the art/story for the first part here.

The story is also on Toyhouse.

Hearts of (No) Malice, Chapter 2: Intersection

The last thing Malice expects is for the human to return the next day, with their bag of devices and sustenance. They do the same thing as the day before—greet Malice, sit down, and retrieve what Malice assumes is their drawing device.

The human does not return the following day, but they do return the day after that.

At this point, Malice finds themself… curious. Most humans who face them are fearful and wise enough to heed their warnings, or otherwise Malice can manipulate the malice in their hearts to get them to leave. But this… Valence. They do not understand why the human chooses to stay here for extended periods of time, especially given Malice's presence.

So, of course, they observe. While they can see without the use of their eyes, visual perception of the human while Malice is looking away from them is suboptimal. On a whim, then, they slip into an abstract energy form before shifting back into their more solid form behind the human, looking over his shoulder.

Only to be surprised by the sight of itself—rather, a rendition of itself. "You are drawing me," they note, and the human jumps violently, pressing his tablet to his chest and looking up at Malice with widened eyes.

"I, a-ah, well…" they stammer, eyes flicking off to the side. A faint pink tints his cheeks. "S-sorry. I wasn't going to show anyone. You're just," he gestures vaguely at Malice, "very pretty."

"Pretty," Malice repeats, blinking all their eyes.

Valence nods. "You're just…" They hold out a hand and gesture down its body and then vaguely to its wings. "You know?"

"That is horrendously vague, Valence," they say.

The human hides his face in his hands. "It's, you know, the aesthetic? Black and blue are pretty, you're super tall and elegant but also sharp?"

Hmm. "Thank you, I suppose." Malice slips away, returning to the edge of the cliff in a shift of smoky movement.

"You…" Valence starts, "are you going to stop me?"

Malice hums. "What you do is none of my concern."

"O… kay. Neat. Very neat." Their voice gradually peters to a mumble.

Malice lets the time slip away. Valence remains, drawing and occasionally snacking, until eventually—there. That spark of malice, around the same time every day.

They chase the thread of it, shifting to an energy nearly imperceptible to nonmagical individuals. In mere moments, they are at an apartment.

Malice does not particularly care about the details of the situation they discover, but they do note two individuals, one with long dark hair and a slender form, the other with light short hair and a broader build.

Both of their malevolent feelings have been growing exponentially for the past few days. Towards each other both, but the long-haired one—toward the situation, the world, everything.

It festers and grows, now to the point that it has called Malice itself to the scene.

It plays out just as they expect. A physical altercation, escalating emotionally and physically, until finally—a knife in the long-haired individual's hand, buried in the chest of the other.

The malice fluctuates—suddenly gone, before roaring back. Malice approaches, phasing through the walls of the building as if they were nonexistent. They approach the individual from behind and set their fingers lightly on the individual's shoulders, a ghostly touch, and knowledge about them—no, her—seeps into Malice's awareness. Her name, her reasons, the suffering she accepted until pain turned to malevolence.

But Malice does not care for such details. "Will you allow the malice to consume you?" they ask, and she stiffens, gaze flicking to Malice's claws.

She scoffs. "They always say that welcoming evil will invite demons to your home."

Demons. One of the many sorts of beings humanity created to explain Edeia, though inherently such a label and its associations are often improper reflections of the nature of Edeia. Despite the offer of Edeia knowledge to the world, some still rely on their existing conceptions of supernatural entities.

Malice does not bother explaining this. "I can pull you back," it says, instead. "If you wish to let go. Will you?"

She clenches her fists. "No. He… no one ever helped me, even when I tried reaching out." She lowers her head. "Humans are selfish, even if they seem nice on the surface. When they have to risk their own self… ha. They won't."

"Perhaps so," Malice says.

"I don't care what happens to me. Whatever you want from me. I just want the world to burn and be free of it once I'm done."

"I see." They lean in closer. "Then… I shall give you just the slightest push."

Malice pulls at the thread within her, just slightly. Changing the weave. There would be no change now, but it will grow more and more uncontrollably as she feeds it.

As they pull away, she turns her head slightly to look at them. "What are you?" she murmurs.

"Malice," they answer, and leave.

-

The next day, Malice returns to the cliff. And of course, Valence is there. The human comes to sit and draw and occasionally talk, and they've become more bold the more Malice answers.

Malice… finds that it does not mind, however. There are not many situations where they would speak to anyone normally, so they indulge the human.

"How long have you been an Edeia?" Val eventually asks.

How long? "I… am not sure." They look to the city. "It was long before humanity reunited with magic."

"So at least a hundred years," Val murmurs.

Malice hums, crossing their hands behind their back. "I would say… twice as long would seem reasonable."

"That's… a really long time." A pause. "Do you… have any other friends?"

Malice scoffs at that. "What use does malice have for friends? I am ill will. Harmful intentions. All that calls to me is the malice festering within the hearts of humanity."

"Just humanity?"

"No. But humanity's malice often burns the fiercest. As Edeia, we are," Malice waves a hand, "embodiments of our Idea. Fewer of us tend to harbor ill will towards others when they cannot threaten us. When such emotions are trivial in the face of being the very concept itself."

Valence hums. Without turning around, Malice sees them frown and put down their tablet. "You mean like… Edeia don't need emotions?"

"Need? No. Those who have fully embraced their identity as a concept are just that—sentient representations of a concept. Consciousness and Concept, for instance."

If Valence is familiar with them. Judging by the way Valence's brow furrows, Malice is not certain.

"But," the human says, "you all do have emotions, right?"

"Most retain their emotions, yes. In one way or another."

"Do you?"

Malice turns their head slightly towards Valence. They consider his question. "They are unnecessary," Malice decides, and turns back.

Valence takes a breath. Lets it out, and sets down their tablet. They stand up and walk closer, closer, until, "Can I hug you?"

Malice blinks. They turn their head, looking over their shoulder at the human, who has his eyes on his fidgeting fingers. "Um… I'm going to hug you. Yell or something if you want me to stop."

Valence then proceeds to lift themself on their toes and wrap their arms around Malice's hips—they are far too tall for him. It is almost amusing. They then rest their head on the small of Malice's back.

It is… soft. The human's clothing is soft, his hair, his embrace. It is not something Malice has experienced since… since…

A long time ago, regardless.

They do not move, but eventually the human lets go. The loss of warmth is stark in the chill of the air.

Malice turns around fully to look at Valence, and the human cranes his neck up to meet their eyes. His hands are now tucked in the sleeves of his white sweatshirt, and his arms are folded.

Malice hums, lifting a claw near his arm. Valence stiffens slightly as his gaze follows it, but Malice does not touch. Instead, they vanish into smoky darkness once more.

[lostinthosebrowneyes]

Pedro Character HCs | Do they believe in ghosts?

Din Djarin

Agnostic would be the best word for Din. He’s about 50/50 skepticism and “well this might as well happen”. His son is a wizard, he’s not about to discount anything. That said, as much as he’d like to see his parents again, he’s not too convinced about the idea of ghosts... At least, not until Luke ever introduces him to his dad and mentors, then Din might start reevaluating some things.

BONUS (Aliens): His son is a little green man from outer space, so... yeah. I think we can safely say he believes in aliens.

Ezra

Ezra is one of those people who will play up believing in ghosts for the entertainment factor but he is a complete skeptic in reality. He tells a great ghost story, sometimes he even manages to fool himself with the noises he’s heard on alien planets, but at the end of the day the dead are just meat. He’d know if it were otherwise; he has accumulated multiple reasons to be haunted over the years.

BONUS (Aliens): Aliens as in a super-intelligent race that abducts and experiments on people, whose existence has never been proven? No. Aliens as in local fauna on alien planets? Sure, he bears witness to those nettlesome little critters all the time.

Frankie Morales

Frankie has seen far too much to be scared of the noncorporeal. He had a healthy sense of fear of the unknown as a kid but after he came back from combat, it all changed. Just because he’s a skeptic doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy the thrill. Strangely, supernatural horror almost became... comforting? Nostalgic? Like he missed when the worst thing he saw was bad SFX and somebody floating on strings. It’s not a real danger and that makes it a “safe” scare, like a roller coaster or some other adrenaline high. He loves haunted houses, especially if he goes with Benny who is secretly a believer in the supernatural ever since a young Will fooled him into thinking their attic was haunted.

BONUS (Aliens, Cryptids): I think Frankie is less committal about his feelings on aliens and cryptids. Aliens in the “it’s a big universe, who knows” kind of way, when he’s out camping and gazing at the vastness of the stars above him. Cryptids in the “look, most of it is guys in suits but my cousin’s best friend’s dog was supposedly eaten by a chupacabra” kind of way.

Javier Peña

Javier will never admit to believing in the supernatural. He has seen a lot of bodies and he’s never been haunted -- not supernaturally, anyway. He has superstitious family members so he won’t speak ill of ghosts, but it’s not his personal belief. He’s witnessed a lot of pain and death and he understands the need for the coping mechanism, but that’s all it is. At least, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

BONUS (Demons): The thing is, Javi has seen a lot of things over his career. He has seen evil in the hearts of men too many times to deny the concept of it. Javier will tell you to your face that he doesn’t believe in demons, but that doesn’t mean he’s going anywhere near that famous site of a demonic possession. It’s not because he’s scared, it’s because it’s a waste of time. And it’s late. And he has better things to do. Like you. Let’s get home. (Get in the fucking car and let’s gooooo.)

Marcus Moreno

Marcus Moreno isn’t a skeptic, he just doesn’t believe in ghosts. He and Missy would have heard something by now.

BONUS (Everything else): I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if Marcus has fought a demon. If not, he still believes in them. He also believes in mermaids, aliens (hello!), extra-dimensional entities and Bigfoot. Marcus will believe anything until proven false, including but not limited to The Loch Ness Monster. You say they’ve checked the loch top to bottom with cameras and found nothing? Maybe Nessie just can’t be captured by cameras. Marcus is friends with someone named Sharkboy. There are no limits.

Marcus Pike

As I said here, Marcus Pike believes in ghosts. Marcus had ~an experience~ in his college days after he and some friends spent the night in a haunted house on a dare. Ever since he has been convinced there is some form of life after death, even if he doesn’t subscribe to a specific theory of how it all works. He’s not particularly vocal about it, but if you try to make fun of people who believe in ghosts be prepared for him to make the case, “Well you know just because science hasn’t proven it yet-”. In general he’s more into the idea of gentle hauntings than your malevolent poltergeist situation. Ghosts who hold on after death to comfort their loved ones are the kinds of ghost stories that he’s really into.

BONUS (Aliens): As for other supernatural beings, cryptids are all hoaxes and he doesn’t buy the idea of demonic possession. But like Frankie, he thinks it’s not impossible to imagine among all of those stars there might be other worlds with sentient life. Yeah, Marcus believes in aliens, too.

Maxwell Lord

Maxwell is like Marcus Moreno in that he’ll believe almost anything, but like Javier in that he will never admit it. He is incredibly easy to scare but after you get him he will refuse to acknowledge that it happened. If Alistair says he saw a ghost in his closet, Maxwell will not be going to check the closet and show his son everything is fine. He doesn’t want to see a ghost! Alistair can just sleep in his room tonight and they’ll sort it out in the morning. Of course he’ll be telling Alistair how silly he’s being the entire time because ghosts aren’t real obviously! (What was that sound???)

BONUS (Everything Else): Demons, aliens, that’s just another Monday in the DCEU. Of course he believes in those. Magic and gods? Proven fact. Curses? He always keeps a good luck charm on him rather than tempt fate. Cryptids? Well, just because some of those photos have been debunked doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Maybe he should ask his acquaintances the daughter of Zeus and a literal cat lady.

[quilna]

A very long time ago I suggested a MBaV au then later took it down because I didn’t think that many people watched the show so not many people probably knew what I was talking about. I’ve decided to bring it back.

I had art to go with this (Which I might have posted earlier so my apologies if this is the second time you’ve seen this au) but people didn’t seem particuarly fond of it and I was worried that the art would be offputting from the actual concept.

Anyway, MBaV stands for My Babysitter’s a Vampire and it was this cheesy supernatural show I watched when I was a kid. This au has a few differences from the show, either because the time frame doesn’t fit (MBaV is set in the modern day, TGS is Victorian London so some things don’t match up), because I don’t properly remember the episode (It’s been a long time, not everything will match up. There are some episodes that I didn’t see at all.), or just because the change seemed better fitting for the au.

Dr Jekyll is a powerful spellcaster who, after a mishap with a spell years ago, accidentally split himself into two. While Jekyll is known for being one of the older and more skilled spellcasters in London, Edward has a bad habit of messing up spells, either by not reading through the consequences before using them or reading them backwards. He’s technically still powerful but it’s difficult for people to tell when so many of his spells go sideways.

The pair can hide memories from each other and both use it to screw with the other.

Jekyll runs a society for the supernatural, trying to keep the supernatural side of London from messing around with the normal side too much. However, the society has a cover of being a society for the sciences so it attracts a mixture of regular humans and the supernatural meaning that:

A. The supernatural side of the society has to be hidden from some of the society’s members

B. They’re not actually sure how many are human and how many are supernatural, leading to some more malicious monsters slipping in.

--

Lanyon, meanwhile, is a seer. By touching people or certain objects he can receive visions of the future or the past but they’re not always clear.

Throughout his life, these abilities have allowed him to learn a lot of things he didn’t want to know about - he always knew when other people were just trying to use him, he always knew when something bad was going to happen to someone, and it left him rather cynical and detatched. He does his best to avoid contact with people to avoid getting these visions.

However, he starts to get particularly bad visions from Dr Jekyll, hinting that Edward Hyde will eventually start being a danger to Jekyll. As a result, he’s doing his best to figure out what the deal with Edward is before it’s too late or, at least, get rid of Edward before things can come to pass.

Rachel and Henry don’t seem to take him seriously about Edward (Rachel doesn’t want to believe that Edward could hurt Jekyll and, therefore, reasons that Lanyon’s visions aren’t telling him everything and Jekyll, obviously, already knows everything and wants Lanyon to stay out of it before he learns the truth.)

--

Rachel is a fledgling vampire, bitten and turned by Moreau, the leader of a vampiric cult. She hasn’t drunk human blood yet which means she’s weaker than most vampires, hoping that, if she remains a fledgling (continues to not drink from people) she might one day be cured.

Jekyll helps make a blood substitute for her so she never has to drink from a human.

The Elephants are an all female all vampire group so Lucy and Elsie are very supportive of Rachel’s vampirism and often give her advice on the matter. (Although they don’t really get her aversion from drinking human blood.) Lucy is a very old and powerful vampire.

Eli was killed by Moreau when he ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

--

Frankenstein is a necromancer who came to London looking for the  powerful spellcaster she had heard so much about, wanting his help to cure vampirism entirely. However, the moment she arrived she ended  up in an altercation with Moreau, leaving her injured. To her annoyance,  she had to pick up the cover of being a scientist looking for a cure  for her son’s terrible condition (The son being Creature.) and was taken in by the society while  she searches for the spellcaster in her spare time. To her extra  annoyance, every time she slips away and starts trying to track the  spellcaster, it always somehow seems to lead her directly into the path  of “the naive human” Dr Jekyll leading to her being put back to bed every time.

In all fairness, Jekyll has perfected the ignorant human act.

Things become trickier however when her spell finally leads her to Edward Hyde instead, leading her to believe that he’s the spellcaster. Edward doesn’t correct her or even let Jekyll know about this, wanting to prove himself as powerful as Jekyll.

Eventually, he starts searching for a powerful magical artifact which could help them. A magical artifact with absolutely no corrupting properties at all. Ever. It’s perfectly safe and will not at all ever send Hyde, already the personification of evil, towards trying to eliminate his good half and take over London. Of course not.

Jekyll knows that something bad is afoot but, with Hyde blocking his memories from him, he doesn’t know exactly what. Neither does Frankenstein realize her mistake until it’s too late.

---

The lodgers:

Helsby is a mermaid. When he’s touched by water, he turns into his mermaid form and his singing voice can send everyone around him into a rage. After he causes a lot of chaos around the society, Lanyon, Rachel, and Hyde set out to try to defeat him in a music contest. If he loses, he has to stop. This plan goes sideways when Hyde marches in with a trumpet cursed to make the most horrible noise possible and basically forces Helsby into submission instead. And destroys Lanyon and Rachel’s eardrums in the process.

Jasper is a werewolf as always. He came directly to the society, looking for help with his condition, fearing the danger of his werewolf half. Werewolves and vampires have a natural rivalry but Rachel just decided that the taboo of it was just more romantic and fell for him. When the full moon came, though, everyone found out that Jasper just turns into a harmless dog. Rachel was a little disappointed but still loved him anyway.

Cantilupe is an ancient god who slipped in with the intent of collecting followers in the society to bring about the apocalypse, pretending to be a zoologist. However, she then met Lavender, a newer human zoologist who viewed her as her senior and constantly looked for Cantilupe’s help with her work. Cantilupe decided she was fond of this tiny human and stopped trying to end the world. Lavender still isn’t aware that her senior is a literal god.

Maijabi is a spirit that can inhabit mirrors. His cursed mirror was accidentally taken in by the society where he began to manipulate people who looked into his mirror into harming people around them to get revenge for his death after dying in a prank gone wrong. As it turned out, though, Lanyon could see him for what he was thanks to his powers. After stopping him, Jekyll used his magic to make him visible to other people so he can sort of live again. He still can’t touch people without passing through them.

Sinnett is human but, at one point, a sentient tree ends up getting into the society and taking control of all of the automatons, technology, and clockwork in there, including Sinnett’s arm. He helps arm the trio with flamethrowers to fight the tree but they couldn’t get the last bit of tree of out Sinnett’s prosthetic arm. Now he has to deal with an evil tree in his arm which occasionally tries to convince him to destroy the world. He tunes it out.

Tweedy is also human but he’s a “paranormal investigator” who came to the society looking for ghosts. Most of his equipment suspiciously goes off around Rachel (She is undead and all) and everyone has to keep trying to hide the numerous ghosts and zombies in the society.

Bryson is the ghost of a once famous aeronaut looking to regain his lost fame. He tries to force Lanyon as the only person who can see him into helping him with this but Lanyon knows absolutely nothing about aeronautics.

---

Other things:

Once, as a lesson to try to teach Robert, Rachel, and Edward to work together, Henry secretly used a spell to send each one of them into their own pocket dimension based off of each of their fears. Initially it was supposed to have safeguards in place to keep the exercise safe and keep the fears mild.

Hyde was given the fear of being alone (A world completely devoid of people)

Rachel was given a fear of losing herself to her vampirism (A more powerful and evil version of herself)

Robert was given the villain from a play he watched recently which frightened him. (An automaton dentist gone rogue.)

However, either by Hyde messing around with magic to try to free them all or by some malicious outside intervention (Because it would be mean for Jekyll to do this himself but I can’t miss out the angst of a proper worst fear episode.) the safeguards got removed and the worlds started to twist themselves to everyone’s deepest darkest fears.

Hyde ended up chased by his own friends, turning on him after they discovered his secret.

Rachel was chased by the ghost of Eli, blaming her for his death.

Robert got a monstrous version of Hyde from his visions, the version of Hyde he knew was someday destined to kill Jekyll. (Hyde was very flattered when he found out.)

All of them try to hide their fears from the others and the worlds continue feeding off their fear and becoming more monsterous and twisted as time goes on.

They all only just escape.

--

Jekyll and Hyde have been seen in the same place before which doesn’t help anyone figure out that they’re the same person. Thanks to messing around with an old cursed camera from Jekyll’s collection, Hyde accidentally makes an evil clone of himself. Everyone kind of notices that Hyde’s acting a little worse than usual but Jekyll’s the only one who knows that something wrong’s going on here (Because that’s himself just standing there mocking him.) and Jekyll has to try to stop the evil Hyde alone, unable to tell anyone why he knows that isn’t the real Hyde.

--

Jekyll once accidentally hired a carriage haunted by the ghost of a dead vampire and everyone had to work together to stake it because it wouldn’t stop running people over.

They don’t talk about it.

The horses came out fine.

--

Hyde once tried to resurrect an old pet of Lucy’s to attempt to impress her (Pets don’t live awfully long when you’re immortal after all.) but ended up bringing to life every dead animal in the area. Every last one of them turned out violent. After getting rid of most of the animals, they found one little zombie dog that somehow didn’t become violent. Jekyll took it in and named it Zosi.

[skeletap]

Prima Materia religion mini-ramble.

Probably a complete damnation of established lore but I want it to make more sense in-universe and with incorporating a one-off episode plot into a full on new god LOL

The Gods in Eternia are Zoar and Starseed. Eternians (planet wide) view the concept of a god as something that physically exists and not a higher power. There are two cult-gods which are Serpos and Horokoth, a dead-god and a higher-power.

Zoar is a falcon-spirit Goddess who takes physical form through possession of a host referred to as "The Sorceress". But more in the way of sort of possession-parasite where the possessed still has full autonomy but cannot stray from Zoar's "Nest" which later became the site of Castle Grayskull. Leaving the site requires taking Zoar's falcon-form. Zoar is the patron of knowledge, sight, travel, and time itself. Zoar is the primary god to most surface-dwelling Eternians.

Starseed is a sentient crystal cluster God (gender neutral) at the core of the planet. It is the source of all magic-water and thus all magic in Eternia (with Zoar granting the knowledge of its use, so they both kinda originated magic-use). Starseed grants the prophecy of "Panaceum" to its chosen host, who becomes Panacean", by embedding fragments of the cluster in the host's body and granting them god-like healing powers. Starseed is the patron of alchemy, life, health/medicine, and magic. Coreternians are particularly devoted to Starseed due to their proximinity to it.

Serpos is the Snake-Men's god. He is a dead-god who perished in the first Great War, when King Hiss was slain he coiled himself around the Snake-Men's base and petrified into volcanic rock. There is a minor cult to Serpos in Subternia who wishes to ressurect King-Hiss and thus Serpos with him. They really hate the Evil Warriors making a play-place out of Snake Mountain, especially since Skeletor put his house in their god's hallowed out head.

Horokoth is a newer goddess, well, not really a being at all. Horokoth exists in the mind of Horokoth cultists as a planet sized bat, made entirely of green fire. Who brings the end-times by killing the sun before razing the galaxy with her flames, then becoming the sun herself, and by devoting yourself to Horokoth, she would allow you to be the ones who repopulate Eternia in a new age under the Horde. Horokothians are actually the species Hordak is, and the Horokoth cult is a fun pet-project of Hordak, who is currently imprisoned in a pocket-dimension by Grayskull, but there has developed some tiny cracks where his influence has leaked through (such as with Skeletor).

[clanonadventures]

𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

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Dutch anon - dutchy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Preferably goes by she/her

-They/them would also be fine

-Fairly tall

-M e s s y a s s h a i r

-Struggles to speak English

-Her room is full of orange, red, white and blue

-First option to anything is just violence

-Very athletic (but competitive)

-Gets hurt a lot while sporting

-Overworks a lot, so she barely get sleep

-Don’t insult her s/o if you enjoy not having someone go apeshit on you

-Give her a tulip and she’ll melt

-good friendship with rhinestone 👌

-Loves all pets of the other anons

-Pls pet her tail, she loves it <3.

Design

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Squid anon - Squiddy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-19 years old

-Works at Anon city (AC) Aquarium

-Obsessed with sea life and pirates

-Is bi

-Occasionally wears a squid hoodie

-Was kicked out of the house at 16

-Loves musicals

Design

Her eyes are purple

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ENON

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

"A chaotic trickster entity with a dark and mysterious past that takes a form resembling that of popular character ENA. ENON shares many similarities and mannerisms with her counterpart, but is know to be more brutal. A lawful evil type to be sure. Her moral compass is a roulette wheel. Just wants to be entertained.

Come to think of it, I don't really think ENON had an "original form" Like she just kinda existed as a spirit/eldrich demi goddess who had it really rough before deciding to join the physical world like 'all I know is cause problems on purpose- what is love and friendship'"

Design

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Satyr Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Loves horror movies and scary video games

-18 years old and already wasted her entire life-

-Aspiring Therapist/Psychologist, is the mom friend ™️. Very sweet, with sarcastic and wise advice whenever she's needed

-Never gets enough sleep, ever.

Design

She is actually a Satyr (goat ears, goat lower half with mostly human top half, long tail, horns, etc) with thick mane of white hair.

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Peacock Anon - Viernes

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-24-doesn't have a gender, but goes by she/her

-shapeshifter of sorts

-if she becomes overly stressed (which is somewhat often) her face begins to crack and give way to static

-only reveals her true form to people she trusts a LOT, and even then, she'll only reveal her true form in private

-somewhat energetic, full of herself and sarcastic

-can change her appearance to some extent (can't change her clothes tho)

-underpaid tv host

-actually quite introverted when off stage

-sounds like ruby vocaloid

Design

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Rhinestone Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-He/Him

-Has had a bad past with relationships so it's hard for them to trust anyone

-Comes off as cold and unapproachable but once they trust you then they are sweet, affectionate, honest, and cuddly

-They're really fucking tall (9'3)

-They're a cuddle-bug

-Really soft hair

-Love language is physical touch

-Has never shown anyone their true form

-Big history nerd

Design

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Bug anon

☑ Platonic - ☒ Romantic

Facts

-Average height (5’00”)

-Really nice but is quiet and likes to lurk. Really shy.

-Likes bugs, drawing, video games, reading, going on walks, sunsets, forests, cats, sweets and plushes!

-Has ASD!

-Tired (™)

-Drawing later

-Tries to be optimistic when she can

-Uses she/her, they/them, it/its and bug/bugs (in no particular order)

-Asexual and aromantic!

-Age unknown, but is a teenager

-Backstory: A sentient bug who dreamed of being an Anon so they could make friends, who’s wish was granted by a strange Higher Being/entity of light and rainbows. They live among the anons now as an anon, trying to adjust to their body and life.

-Her “hair” is her antennae- DO NOT PULL ON IT!

Design

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Coke Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Unspecified age

-Has no concept of personal space

-Someone referred to coke by they/them and they took off w/ that

-Their body is like jello in their blob form

-Their voice is autotuned on command, they do it to annoy people

-The red bit is a shirt

-Was originally named E-304 but changed their named to Coke

-Can shapeshift with no known bounds

-They CAN turn into other people, but you can tell its coke by a chunk of their hair being white/red

-Kinda stupid

-Enjoys bone marrow

-Also enjoys icecream

-Was kinda lonely for a long while

Design

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Mask anon - Melian

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- She/they

- 8'7 ft tall

- she's 19

- e n d e r m a n

- friendly, aggressive is looked at in the eyes

- wears sunglasses out in public bc for some reason she doesnt mind eye contact with them

- is only comfortable with eye contact with people they're comfortable with

- has terrible memory

- sleepwalks a lot

- loves to collect toys like dolls, plushies, action figures and small toys

- s o m e h o w manages to break an exact block of anything, even concrete

- if you mention you want something, she'll bring it to you, may or may not have stolen it

- doesnt understand what is means to steal

- can purr

- changes to enderman language when talking too fast

- knows how to speak Portuguese and will change to it when curssing at something

- used to have a brother

- knows how to play the piano and acoustic guitar

- adores calm songs like Cavetown, Mitski Mitski, etc.

- has a few pet moths that live in her pockets and two cats

- t o u c h e d s t a r v e d

- treats most of the other anons like her siblings

- only the ones closer to them can call them Meli

Design

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Bamboo Fox

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- A shapeshifting fox [REDACTED]? that guards and tends to a sacred bamboo forest on a mountain somewhere in the astral sea, I don't know.

- Has no concept of gender or age, but enjoys the sound of being referred to as he, or they.

- Is very small, like about 2 feet tall when standing on back legs in fox form.

- Has a very comforting aura to them, very chill vibe

- Will invite you in for tea

- Their rapping sounds like little yips. They can't speak, no matter what form they are in.

- If he likes you, he will offer you a single piece of bamboo with sticky rice inside

- If he does not like you, he will eat your soul

Design

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Basil Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

Is 7' tall. Hes a tall boy

Goes by he/they pronouns though is also agender.

Can shapeshift to an extent. Cannot shapeshift his eyes though.

Isnt even really human but doesnt talk about that, like ever.

Eyes are pitch black- like completely flat black- hair covers eyes always. (unless they really trust you)

Cheerful baby! But gets depressive episodes alone! Tries to keep a smile on his face. When in those episodes he is more likely to isolate.

Has a pet chicken named fluffy. Is actually immortal. Literally. The whole anon fam loves fluffy, and he keeps a chart to see who gets to pet fluffy, and who needs to be watched (coke).

Design

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Part 2

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 25: 2x24 The Ultimate Computer

Belated notes on my watch of The Ultimate Computer yesterday.

Kirk’s definitely in Captain Mode today. You can tell when he’s on edge and suspicious and serious.

Yet another old Kirk friend. Does he know everyone in Starfleet?

War games lol. But it’s “not the military.”

Spock is super into this computer.

A-7 Computer Expert Certification.

The crew’s not needed? Wow, okay, this is going to end badly.

“This gadget.” How do you really feel, Kirk?

And there’s Spock literally making faces behind the Commodore’s back. He is soooo that type. He’s like “Jim, are you hearing this? Can you believe this guy?”

I’m insulted on Kirk’s behalf right now. Replacing people with machines so blithely is offensive.

Of course Bones doesn’t like it.

Oh yeah triumvirate walking scene. I love them. it takes so little for me to think ‘what badasses.’ S2 is really stepping up this dynamic in particular.

And Spock is comfortable enough around Bones to be sassy around him

Oh no, the computer is already glitching, and there is no backup and no plan B.... Bones is completely right in his assessment. This is essentially a Titanic situation: way too much hubris involved. Nothing can go wrong so nothing will go wrong so we’ve planned for nothing going wrong!

McCoy has BFF Clearance. He can go wherever he wants.

“It’s the M-5? What happened to Ms 1-4?” Channel #5.

Ahhhh little gratuitous touch to Spock’s arm. They’re In Love.

“There are certain things men must do to remain men.”

“The right computer finally came along.” Damn Bones.

Jim’s suspicions about the computer coming right after that line make it look like he’s jealous that Spock likes it so much.

He’s getting a “red alert right here.” Computers don’t have that kind of intuition.

Jim’s so thoughtful and self-aware. He really cares both about his instincts and about interrogating those instincts for bias and unreasonableness. This is giving me real S1 vibes: the quiet, intelligent, idealized hero Captain at the fore.

This whole scene is perfect, eminently quotable, and sounds exactly like something that could have been written about automation in 2021. You’re okay with it when it’s happening to someone else but then the computer comes for YOUR job....

Uh-h, M-5 is turning off all the lights...

Space merchant marines... good to know.

HOW are the Captain and CMO “non-essential personnel”? The first sign that M-5 is illogical. They should bring some doctor on the landing party mission given that uh humans are going on it and might get injured.

Anyway I can’t wait for Kirk to destroy this bitch and save the day.

Lol it turned off the lights on Bones in sickbay.

Damn, now it’s trying to take Uhura’s job too!

Chekov is so bored.

Spock wants to serve under one man and one man ONLY. Loyalty to one man... sounds like a wedding vow... and Kirk looks so soft...

So, if Spock has to describe to McCoy what that (unnecessary bitchy and catty) “Captain Dunsel” remark means, by saying that it’s a phrase that “midshipmen use at Starfleet Academy,” is this to imply Bones didn’t go to Starfleet Academy?

He’s never felt so at odds with the ship.... a lover’s quarrel...she’s cheating on him with another man...

Jim Kirk, certified Poetry Nerd. He’s such a romantic.

So glad Bones got him a drink so he can return to the bridge and a possible emergency with just a little bit of a buzz going.

Spock in the chair...

Huh, an automated ship with no crew. Interesting concept.

Oh no M-5! She’s got control of the ship and she won’t let go!

Kirk’s face when Enterprise attacks.. the betrayal... his beautiful lady used for mindless destruction.

“Only a robot” ship--! Bones is insulted.

Kirk orders the computer turned off but we’re only halfway through the ep so...

....And the computer is sentient now.

That was the shortest Captain’s Log ever. “The computer has taken over the ship the end.”

Scotty’s like, “...Well what if we just unplug it?”

Okay so now they only have 19 crew.

Spock and Bones are on point today. “Don’t say it’s fascinating.” / “I won’t. But it is... interesting.” This bitch knows exactly what he’s doing.

The computer isn’t a child, guys!

We need powerful computers “so men don’t have to die in space”--like uh that man your computer literally just killed?

I don’t get Daystrom’s logic at all. He talks as if people, like, needed to do work in space, to survive or something. We don’t need to. We want to! We want to go out and meet cool aliens! This guy is no fun.

What is the thing “greater” than fact finding in space that the robots are going to free us to do? Like what is more impressive than SPACE? I don’t even get that.

Time to mix up fake sci fi world-building references with real references! The Nobel and Zee-Magnee Prizes. Sitar of Vulcan.

A theory emerges... the computer acts illogically...Daystrom won’t let Spock near it... I know this isn’t where this is going, but it kind of sounds like they’re implying it’s a scam, lol. He sold an idea he didn’t have so it’s like.. not a real computer.

Spock’s little protege, Chekov.

“We have been pursuing a wild goose.” Aw, bb’s trying so hard to be colloquial. (Also he 100% learned that phrase from McCoy in The Gamesters of Triskellion and now he’s trying it out on Kirk...when McCoy isn’t around.)

“Not to offend you by using the h-word, but... could it be... human?”

Kirk’s really mad at Daystrom now.

The Commodore really set up that dramatic turn to camera there.

Poor Kirk. His ship is being used for evil.

“They can’t destroy the ship, what would happen to the computer?!” Yes, the computer. And the other 19 people and himself but mostly the computer. Daystrom really has lost it.

I love the actor who plays him, though.

“You are great. I am great.” Nothing weird happening here.

Spirk attack! (Spork it out.)

Spock’s way too sure Commodore Wesley is about to die. “He was decent, it’s a shame the ship I’m on is gonna kill him.”

And now another round of Kirk versus the computer and Kirk’s logic wins.

M-5 should argue that it did not commit murder, it committed homicide in self-defense. But then Daystrom didn’t program it with a lawyer’s brain.

It’s uh just gonna leave? Not turn the lights back on?

Kirk is so smart! I know I say this all the time, but it’s true! He knew what to do to save the ship because he knew Bob Wesley. He had formed connections, he had experience and knowledge that doesn’t come from logic. He is not replaceable!

McCoy’s like “Spock, fight me. Debate me Spock. Fight me. I’ll be fun.”

Spock HAS answered the computers versus humans question--he likes humans. He wants to be surrounded by humans.

That was really good! One of the better S2 episodes. Great Kirk, great triumvirate--as a trio and all three sides of the triangle--great sci fi concept, great guest star, great social commentary--still 100% relevant today.

i definitely have to think more about the ‘human computer’ concept. I liked that they specifically went out of their way to explain why the computer was human, how that was part of its design, and then tied that into its creator, his background, his belief system, and his insecurities. I feel like most ‘sentient computer’ or ‘advanced AI’ narratives just assume a computer that’s powerful enough will eventually be alive, which is not something I believe. The scariness of advanced AI to me is the incredible power it has to act quickly, but in a complete black-box way: you can’t literally see the logic string of its thought processes, and nor can you figure them out easily or completely using the creators’ intentions or logic because the machine has ‘learned’ since its inception, and its learning processes are not human. There is a real alienness to them that I find scary. And I do think this ep captured that nuance in M-5: it has the speed and abilities of a super computer, the “human” qualities of its creator for well-explained reasons, and the unpredictability of a mechanism that is NEITHER human nor human-controlled tool. And of course the ep’s ultimate thesis--that humans cannot be completely automated or replaced, and that we should not want to automate or replace humans--is comforting and of a morality I can and want to agree with.

This was also one of those eps that made me curious about the differences in AOS and TOS Kirk--in other words, an ep that relied on his history with Starfleet and his experience, on the reality that he’s a 34 year old man with 15+years of experience in the Fleet. Time, experience, connections, these aren’t things you can replace no matter how smart you are, and I feel like it would have been interesting to see AOS!Kirk deal with some situation that is trickier for him because he’s a Captain with a startlingly small amount of institutional experience. It’s not just about being young or generally inexperienced, in other words--it’s about NOT knowing every Captain, Admiral, and Commodore in the service, it’s about NOT having friends across the galaxy because he just hasn’t had time to make them. Even in deep space, that matters. And I think it’s something that I appreciate more as an adult myself, with actual real world experience of the importance of connections and experience and time, especially in sort of insular or smaller work communities.

Anyway, next is Bread and Circuses! Another great ep for the triumvirate. I can’t believe we’re almost through S2!!

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 2: Going from Zero to Antichrist Real Quick

Bumblebee and his camp buddies are trying to figure out what to do with the Titan who just popped out of the ground like a prairie dog, as the sky looks like a Lisa Frank notebook thanks to the portal to the Dead Universe. It’s honestly very nice, we should should get more pretty apocalypses like this.

Bumblebee starts throwing out orders at everyone, much to Slag’s chagrin. When Slag brings up the point that they probably can’t do much of anything to a guy roughly a hundred times bigger than they are, Bumblebee tells him to shut up and do as he’s told.

Yeah, I had about the same reaction, Slag.

So the Dinobots do their thing. Swoop, who I think is the only guy here who can fly, goes up to see what the Titan’s doing. It’s not much, other than looking really upset. Oh no, what if he’s afraid of heights? Poor guy.

Even if the Titan isn’t moving, the mere presence of the thing is jamming signals, which is kind of an issue. Ironhide’s ready to shoot it in the foot, and Arcee will help, because she’s a team player now. Bumblebee has a minor crisis over whether this is the same Titan that told Starscream he was a prophesied son of a gun, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that it is.

Prowl, who has been suffering from short-term memory lapses over the last several months or so because a bug-man was controlling his mind.

Yeah, let’s maybe take his opinion on the matter with a grain of salt, even if he is right.

Over at the Lost Light, Orion Pax is visiting Brainstorm’s workshop, where everyone’s favorite science man is admitting to having studied the Dead Universe’s effects on the living and interviewing people who had been to the area.

Man, I sure hope that guy signed a waiver, otherwise Brainstorm’s going to be in a spot of trouble.

Then we get a quick rundown of what the Dead Universe is: an omnicognizant parallel universe that functions on fundamental principles that differ from our own and wants you to die. So, obviously not a place you would want to go to. Still, we gotta, because that’s where the plot is the Dead Universe is gonna vore Cybertron if we don’t.

Brainstorm agrees to cook something up to make the trip through the Gorlam Prime portal easier.

Back on Cybertron, the Titan looms in the distance as we check in on an oddly pristine-looking Iacon. Rattrap tells Starscream to come out of the closet, because the Titan still hasn’t moved and doesn’t seem like it’s going to anytime soon. Starscream does come out, but it’s with his arms full of weapons of Autobot design that he appropriated from the ruins of Kimia, because he doesn’t trust that Titan to not start some shit. Rattrap suggests that they maybe get a second opinion before they start murdering people for standing in a barren field.

Back on the Lost Light, there’s a little shindig going down at Swerve’s, everyone staring down the table where Optimus, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus are seated. Swerve takes the opportunity to do what everyone else is probably really wanting to, and snaps a few photos of them for his scrapbook. As soon as he’s done, we get to the Emotions portion of our issue.

Rodimus is letting himself be vulnerable in front of the man he idolizes, and I think that’s very brave of him.

Nobody’s feeling super great about the situation they’ve been presented with, but there isn’t a lot that can be done about it now. Just gotta work with what they got. Rodimus asks Optimus how he feels about Starscream being elected leader of Cybertron.

But I thought that freedom was the right of all sentient beings? You know, like the freedom of choice in our government officials, even if they aren’t the best option we could possibly have, because at least they’re better than the guy who had bombs planted in people’s heads for crowd control purposes? Are you saying that it only counted when the concept of freedom could be manipulated so you could go kick Megatron’s ass, and that actual freedom of choice doesn’t jive with your personal sensibilities as much as you’d like everyone to think it does? No wonder you’re going to try to overthrow the entire Earth’s government system to get humanity annexed into Cybertron’s bullshit in a few years’ time.

But perhaps this Starscream thing is actually the work of Megatron! What will Orion do then?

…I mean, do I even have to say it?

ORION, THAT’S GAY.

And I thought we’d already figured out what to do with Megatron back in “Chaos Theory”, where you spent three issues waffling on the subject until the man himself told you to execute him, because even he was sick of your crisis of self. The only reason you didn’t get to act on it was because Megatron disappeared after Vector Sigma blew up and then you fucked off into space without even bothering to check if he was actually dead.

But enough of Orion promising to kill/kiss Megatron, it’s time to see what Brainstorm’s cooked up. It’s not much, but to be fair, he’s only had a few hours to pull something together- our ship’s genius has made a few forcefield generators, using nothing more than some forcefield generators and juice he squeezed out of a bug. Science truly is amazing.

And I bet Trailcutter hates this invention too, for multiple reasons this time!

Cyclonus, who is looking especially purple today, agrees to join the excursion to the Dead Universe, even though it’s pretty clear he really, really doesn’t want to. Hardhead seems in better spirits than our resident space jet, though maybe that’s just bravado macho-man bullshitting on his part.

With our team put together, it’s time to jump out of the spaceship and into a place that quite literally wants them dead. But first Rodimus has a little chat with Ultra Magnus about his feelings. A lot of sharing this issue.

Magnus doesn’t feel fit to be in charge while Rodimus goes off to save the day and maybe die, because he doesn’t have that special something that makes a leader a leader. Charisma? The ability to think on your feet? The ability to see people as people and not numbers? Not having people know you’re actually a much smaller man running around in an Ultra Magnus suit? Whatever it is, Rodimus seems to think that it’s trumped by a mysterious something in his hand, and that Magnus will do just fine.

While Team -Imus goes into the murder reality, Magnus and the Lost Light will be going off to find Jhiaxus, because they need something to do while our protagonist and his absentee father go on their own adventure.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream’s visiting prison, and wants to talk to a very good boy without the guards overhearing. Jazz makes a very vague threat about what will happen if any harm comes to the prisoner, then steps away.

Let’s talk about how to sell toys for a second.

This issue of “Dark Cybertron” had a cover featuring Scoop, the very good boy I’ve mentioned before, because it was paired off with his Generations toy. We know from reading RID that Scoop is the leader of a group called the Construction Patrol, and he likes to help simply for the sake of helping. Sounds like a nice, if generic, character. How is this issue going to introduce people to him? Will he bust out of prison to save the day? Fight evil through heroic sacrifice? Do anything besides talk?

No, he’s going to tell Starscream he’s a herald of death that was foretold in the robot bible.

Yeah, that’ll move some fucking product!

This isn’t even the most batshit thing Scoop’s going to pull in this event, but it is what they decided to put in the issue that “features” him.

Over with Shockwave, we’re treated to some renewed friendships, as Nova Prime and Galvatron reveal that they don’t hate each other after all, but have a mutual respect based in subjugating those weaker than them.

I’m guessing this is a contrast to their previous relationship dynamic in older publications, but I’m not going back to comb through the likes of Heart of Darkness to check, because it really doesn’t matter.

There’s a bit of a snag in Shockwave’s plan to bring Galvatron and Nova Prime back to the Not-Dead Universe, as the space bridge in the Titan burnt up when it got there. Gee, that sucks. I guess all those “Prelude” issues about getting the Titan from Gorlam Prime were sort of a waste of time, weren’t they? Love it when I’m told I wasted my time reading motherfucking Ramondelli issues.

Speaking of Ramondelli, it’s Dead Universe time.

Sigh. Hello, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop. It’s nice to see you.

No, it isn’t. I lied.

I’m sorry, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop, this isn’t your fault.

So we’re here in the Dead Universe, and it’s looking pretty wild and crazy, though the characters are likely thinking this for a completely different reason than we are as readers. It turns out, the Dead Universe… is dying.

…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT’S SOME GOOD WRITIN’ RIGHT THERE

Also, Cyclonus has disappeared, not that anyone actually gives a shit, because they’re too busy dealing with the giant space leeches that just showed the hell up. Dang, why’s that happening?

…That only happens as a form of population control, or if the young in question are sickly and have a low chance of survival, not just because the mama rabbit got a bit peckish between lunch and dinner, you stupid fucking robot.

Half of this writing team won awards a couple years after this was published, I want you to remember that.

They fight the cyberwraiths for a bit, things look like they’re getting dicey, then suddenly they fuck off as Cyclonus shows up, probably fresh off the end of a goddamned panic attack because he’s back in the Dead Universe. Then he proceeds to vomit up some black energon. That’s a fun thing, glad you made me look at that.

Rodimus is concerned that one of their team members has got the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough, but Cyclonus doesn’t want his fucking pity. The fellas decide it’s time to get a move on, seeing as they’ve been here a grand total of 20 seconds and been attacked, so they need to get this over with ASAP.

As Team -Imus flies off in a ship I don’t remember them bringing along, someone decides that they’re going to stick their finger in that puddle of vomit.

Nightbeat you fucking idiot, there aren’t any sinks in the Dead Universe! Now your hand’s gonna be all gross for the entirety of this event! He’s not even analyzing it, it’s just on his hand! Why is Nightbeat having zero concept of personal hygiene a running theme in the things I read? Fuck!

You may be wondering what Nightbeat’s doing in the Dead Universe, or even where he’s been for a good chunk of IDW. We’ve seen him in flashbacks from before the war, but not during or after, least not within anything I’ve covered. So, what’s be been up to?

Fuck you, you’ll have to wait for a later issue to be told what Phase One bullshit you’ll have had to read to understand why this dumbass is here.

Back on Cybertron, Prowl is telling Bumblebee that he sucks because he’s not acting. I’m not exactly sure what he expects Bumblebee to do about the Titan who’s just standing there. It’s not like issuing a loitering ticket is going to do anything. Then the Decepticons attack them, among their ranks being the scariest fucking Ravage I’ve ever seen.

Why do you look like that? Rojo’s supposed to have the cutesy style on this team, why the fuck did he turn the kitty cat into one of the terror dogs from Ghostbusters? 

Anyway, that’s the end of the issue. Sure hope you’re invested enough in trying to figure out what the fuck Nightbeat’s deal is to snag Robots in Disguise #23.