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cagemasterfantasy · 6 months ago

Text

Druid Spell Ranking

Guide:

1=useless

2=often useful

3=sometimes useful

4=perfect

Druid Cantrips

Control Flames 1 notably omitted from the function of Control Flames is the ability to create or extinguish them. Druidcraft and Prestidigitation both grant the ability to light or snuff out small flames. Control Flames will let you spread flames extinguish them change their color and but if you want to light a torch you need to use flint and tinder like a commoner. You can use this to dramatically improve the effectiveness of torches or to snuff out enemy light sources at a distance but those are situational uses that you can address with better light sources like the Daylight spell or by using water. Neither function is frequent or useful enough to justify a cantrip with so little functionality

Create Bonfire 3 this spell is fantastic for Druid. It matches the damage of Produce Flame it can do ongoing damage if enemies stay in place or move into the square and Druid has very few spells which require Concentration at low levels so the Concentration requirement isn’t a significant hurdle like it is for other spellcasters like Cleric. If you position yourself well you may be able to use this with Thorn Whip to repeatedly pull enemies into the square for additional damage. This is a great introduction to area control spells which is fantastic because Druid’s options for area control are some of their best spells. However Create Bonfire’s reliance on Concentration can become a problem as you gain levels because Concentration is such a precious resource and many of the best spells require Concentration. If your game doesn’t include an option to retrain cantrips I would skip Create Bonfire entirely. If you have a way to retrain cantrips consider taking Create Bonfire at low levels but be prepared to replace it if you find that you’re not using it consistently

Druidcraft 1 this spell is profoundly disappointing. It does almost nothing and the things it does are nearly useless

Frostbite 3 low damage for a cantrip but the big appeal is Disadvantage on the target’s next weapon attack. Unfortunately it works on Constitution saving throws and those tend to be relatively high compared to other saving throws

Guidance 4 as long as you’re not concentrating on something with a long duration between fights you should be constantly throwing this on your allies. Your Rogue should have Guidance for every skill check they make while searching sneaking and handling traps.

Gust 1 if this scaled somehow I would be interested. If it had more options I would be interested. If it had better range I would be interested. But as it stands this spell is almost totally useless

Infestation 2 Constitution saves tend to be high which is this spell’s biggest problem. The damage is low but fine and the forced movement is enough to make it useful by forcing enemies to move around in dangerous places or move out of a grapple despite your lack of control over the direction

Magic Stone 1 at low levels a spell attack dealing 1d6+Wisdom will be more damage than any of your other cantrips. But every other damage cantrip will match it at level 5 and without Extra Attack to let you throw more stones you’ll never get more than 1d6+5 damage. On top of that casting Magic Stone consumes your Bonus Action so it’s difficult to use in conjunction with other options. Your best bet is to get 3 NPCs to stand behind you pull rocks out of your hand and throw them at enemies while you use your action to do literally anything else

Mending 2 too situational. Short of Rust Monsters and a few Oozes, nearly nothing in 5e deals damage to your equipment. If you’re playing Spelljammer this is essential but otherwise you can skip it

Mold Earth 1 you know what else can do this? A SHOVEL. Sure shoveling will take a long time but you get at most 3 cantrips (5 with Circle of the Land) and if you can replace a cantrip with a mundane item it’s probably a bad cantrip. The only important function is to create difficult terrain but you’re limited to 2 ongoing effects which means you only get 2 5-foot squares. And again you could do that with a shovel. You’re about as likely to use this in combat as you are to use a shovel too

Poison Spray 1 this highest damage die for cantrips at least until Toll the Dead came along. Poison Spray has serious problems 10 ft range and it works on a Constitution saving throw so enemies will frequently resist it

Primal Savagery 3 more damage than you can get out of any other Druid cantrip except Poison Spray but no function beyond damage. If you’re building for melee without Wild Shape you need to consider this against options like Shillelagh Thunderclap and any ranged cantrip that works on a saving throw rather than an attack roll. Primal Savagery will beat out Shillelagh at level 5 unless you’re getting a second attack from something like Polearm Master. Circle of Spores with Polearm Master and Shillelagh will deal more damage than Primal Savagery but only until 17th level and only while running Symbiotic Entity

Produce Flame 3 the Druid’s go to damage cantrip it notably also allows you to hold the flame and carry it around as a light source. You should be able to light fires with it even though that function isn’t specified in the spell’s text. You are holding a flame large enough to cast twice as much light as a candle after all

Resistance 1 considerably more difficult to use than Guidance. Your best bet is to throw this on an ally before going into combat but if you have that luxury you should be casting a better Concentration spell

Shape Water 4 this is as abusable and versatile as Prestidigitation. Freeze a solid 5 foot cube of water and drop it on someone. Pour water into a lock freeze it and allow the ice expansion to break the lock. Put a dome of ice over something you’re protecting. Build a small bridge in 5-foot segments. Block a hallway. Freeze a door in place. The uses are numerous and fantastic. If you have a barrel of water and this cantrip you have a solution to most problems. Honestly the fact that this spell is so much better than its other elemental equivalents (Control Flames Gust and Mold Earth) is a good indication of just how awful those spells are

Shillelagh 2 stuck in melee? Out of Wild Shape uses? Don’t use your dumped Strength score. USE A MAGIC STICK! Shillelagh is a neat spell and it’s a popular option for Clerics (via multiclassing or Magic Initiate) so that they don’t need to devote ability score increases to Strength or Dexterity. However it’s not a great option for most Druids. Druids never get Extra Attack so the most damage you can ever get from melee attacks is 1d8+5 which will be matched by Produce Flame at 5th level. As much as I love the idea of a Druid standing in melee with a magic staff and a shield it’s just not a practical option. However Circle of Spores may be an exception. Symbiotic Entity provides a boost to weapon attack damage which may keep Shillelagh viable as far as 11th level at which point you should consider Thunderclap for your melee needs

Thorn Whip 3 the damage is fine but the real appeal is the pull effect. 10 feet may not seem like much but its enough to pull enemies off of ledges to pull low flying enemies into melee to pull enemies into an area control effect like Create Bonfire or Wall of Fire to pull enemies out of a grapple or in a pinch you can pull an ally out of a dangerous location albeit at the price of some friendly fire

Thunderclap 3 damaging every creature within 5 feet of you is great if you’re in melee facing numerous enemies. Even with Extra Attack you will deal more damage with this against 3 or more foes than you could with a weapon

1st level spells

Absorb Elements 4 a fantastic defensive option at any level this will save your life when you encounter an unpredictable source of elemental damage like a trap or a spell. The bonus damage on your next attack is largely useless but it still feels cool when you use it

Animal Friendship 2 arguably easier than proficiency in Animal Handling but it will become obsolete once beasts disappear around CR 10

Beast Bond 1 interesting but Druids don’t have something like a beast companion which would significantly benefit from this. You could cast Conjure Animals and combine it with this but I don’t know if that’s worth the spell slots

Charm Person 3 if you can cast this on a target outside of combat without them noticing this can be a great way to defuse a potentially hostile situation. However the spell has some complications. Charm Person has no visual effect like a ball of fire so there’s no visual indication that the spell succeeded or failed. The target doesn’t know that they’ve been targeted by the spell if they succeed on the saving throw but you don’t know if they succeeded or failed unless your DM decides to tell you and they are under no obligation to do so. So generally your best bet is to cast this once or twice and hope for the best before presenting yourself to your target

Create or Destroy Water 3 the ability to magically create water has many uses. Few of them are combat related but combined with Goodberry and an appropriate plant this allows you to be fully self-sufficient

Cure Wounds 3 more healing than Healing Word but the action economy is considerably worse. Save this for when you need hit points and you’re either out of hit dice or don’t have time to rest

Detect Magic 4 someone needs to have it in every party

Detect Poison and Disease 1 very situational and unless you can also cast Protection from Poison there’s little you can do about it anyway

Earth Tremor 2 not nearly enough damage and being prone isn’t enough of a problem in 5e. The difficult terrain effect is the real draw. It only works on loose earth or stone but that covers nearly anything you’ll stand on except wood so it’s an easy way to create difficult terrain. Unfortunately it also affects you so be careful not to trap yourself among enemies

Entangle 4 A great area control spell at any level. Strength saving throws tend to be low for any creature that isn’t a gigantic Strength based brute so it’s easy to restrain even high-level enemies. However it requires Concentration so you can’t easily combine it with things like Create Bonfire

Faerie Fire 4 the lowest level option to deal with invisible creatures and Advantage on attacks against creatures which fail their save means that this remains a powerful support option well into high levels especially against bug bulky enemies with high AC but poor Dexterity saves. Hopefully you won’t run into any invisible creatures at 1st level but but it’s important to have some way to deal with invisibility just in case

Fog Cloud 2 an excellent way to cover your escape but you can’t see through the fog any better than anyone else so don’t expect to fight in this without some other advantage most of the time. Fog Cloud can be a way to negate Advantage if your enemies have the upper hand so if you’re facing enemies who are invisible hidden or have some other source of Advantage Fog Cloud can take that away effectively leveling the playing field so that no one can see each other. Such situations are rare but it’s nice to know that there’s a countermeasure when those situations do arise

Goodberry 4 not useful in combat but more healing per spell slot than Cure Wounds. Players: Dump all of your spell slots at the end of the day into Goodberry so you have a giant bag of healing to use between combats the next day. DMs: Limit your players to 10 active berries at a time specifically to prevent them from doing what I just suggested

Healing Word 4 more important than Cure Wounds especially at low levels. As a bonus action you can heal an unconscious ally enough to get them back into the fight and you still have your action for a cantrip

Ice Knife 2 not enough damage and you not only make an attack for the primary damage but the targets also get saving throws to totally avoid the splash damage. It’s difficult to find a time when this is appealing but it’s also the Druid’s only ranged AOE at this level. You don’t get Magic Missile so sometimes this may have need to fill that gap

Jump 1 too situational

Longstrider 2 a helpful buff for highly mobile characters and with an hour long duration it can be a great use of low level spell slots once your 1st level spells start lagging in combat

Purify Food and Drink 1 cast this as a ritual and you’ll never need to worry about spoiled food again. 1 of many reasons that Dnd makes a terrible wilderness survival game

Snare 2 good for setting a trap or if you’re resting somewhere dangerous with a convenient choke point like a narrow hallway. Targets are restrained for at least 1 round which is hopefully enough for you to fight your way out of your bedroll and grab a weapon

Speak with Animals 2 its function is obvious enough that it probably doesn’t need exploration but Speak with Animals is probably the most Druidy spell a Druid can cast. Just be warned animals aren’t very smart so their ability to convey useful information may be hampered despite removing the speech barrier

Thunderwave 2 with the exception of Gust this is one of your very few options for pushing enemies away from you. It’s especially appealing if you can push an enemy into an area control effect but otherwise it’s not a good go to option for damage output in combat

2nd level spells

Animal Messenger 2 situational and less reliable than similar spells like Sending but it’s also a spell level lower than Sending and it’s a ritual. If you know that your recipient is going to be wherever you send your message this works fine. Unfortunately the recipient doesn’t get to respond

Barkskin 2 16 AC will exceed the AC of almost every worthwhile Wild Shape form even with 20 Wisdom and Monk’s Unarmored Defense. As long as you can commit your Concentration to Barkskin it’s a fantastic option for AC. However,since it’s a Concentration spell you’ll run the risk of the spell ending any time something hits you, and 16 AC isn’t high enough to keep you safe if you’re drawing a lot of fire. If you’re not fighting while in Wild Shape skip Barkskin. 14 Dexterity Hide armor, and a shield get you 16 AC and Barkskin provides a minimum value for an AC and doesn’t interact with any bonuses of any kind including shields and magic items so it’s totally redundant for the vast majority of Druids

Beast Sense 2 the intent is that you will use this to scout an area using an animal. Maybe you cast Speak with Animals on it then send it to explore somewhere and use Beast Sense to get a first hand account. If you’re desperate you might also use this on an animal and carry it around to help address issues like blindness deafness or your own lack of darkvision. Your DM might reasonably impose Disadvantage on things like attack rolls when doing this due to the uncomfortable shift in perspective but if you’re truly desperate it might be enough

Darkvision 4 Darkvision is a significant tactical advantage and with an 8 hour duration this is a fantastic way to get it

Dust Devil 3 the 1 minute duration means that you can spend a lot of time pushing enemies around. The damage is puny so you’ll need to combine this with other area control effects to do any meaningful damage. Unfortunately Dust Devil requires Concentration so it’s hard to combine with other effects like Create Bonfire

Earthbind 3 technically situational but at high levels flight becomes a defining tactical option. If you can fly and your enemy can’t you often win the fight be default

Enhance Ability 4 fantastic and versatile. Eagle’s Splendor on your party’s Face make social interactions much easier and Bull’s Strength provides a huge edge while grappling. Enhance your spellcasting ability to get Advantage on the ability checks to dispel magic

Find Traps 1 too expensive and too imprecise. Invest in Investigation

Flame Blade 1 this spell is awful. If it worked like Shadow Blade it would at least be usable but as it’s written it’s immediately worse then Produce Flame or any other attack cantrip. 3d6 damage barely exceeds 2d8 and cantrips will scale without costing higher level spell slots

Flaming Sphere 3 an interesting but sometimes difficult option Flaming Sphere combines area control and regular damage output but monopolizes both your bonus action AND your Concentration for the 1 minute duration. In small areas where enemies can’t easily get away from the sphere it can be a reliable source of ongoing damage while also helping control a small area. However the sphere only applies damage when it rams a creature or when a creature ends its turn in the intervening time creatures can run past or even directly through the sphere unharmed

Gust of Wind 2 potentially a great way to shove enemies around but at 15 ft per round enemies will frequently be able to walk back the distance they were pushed without issue. Your best bet is to push enemies into area control effects but since Gust of Wind requires your Concentration you may have trouble creating effects to use

Healing Spirit 3 the cap of 1+mod uses means that at most you can expect at most 6 uses of the spell which totals just 6d6 healing when cast at 2nd level. That’s still incredibly effective for a 2nd level spell slot and it’s definitely better than Cure Wounds but it’s likely not good enough to replace healing from a short rest when your party is in rough shape. The healing goes up by 1d6 per spell slot past 2nd so you can double the healing by using a 3rd-level slot. Generally you don’t want to use this during a fight because the healing isn’t fast enough and it requires Concentration

Heat Metal 3 situational by design but against nearly any humanoid in metal armor this spell is a death sentence. The damage will be slow but disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks makes martial characters (the ones typically in metal armor) basically useless. Upcasting the spell is surprisingly efficient since the additional damage applies every round so if you’re fortunate enough to encounter a suitable enemy use this to its fullest

Hold Person 2 on/off button for humanoids. Things that you’ll obviously think of as humanoids stop being common threats at low levels and at high levels generally the only humanoid threats will be powerful NPCs. Humanoids are a tiny portion of the Monster Manual so this spell is situational by design. In encounters with multiple foes you can up cast Hold Person to paralyze multiple targets so when AOE damage spells aren’t a good idea for whatever reason this can still handle groups of enemies. Paralysis is a serious status condition granting Advantage on attacks against the targets and guaranteeing Critical Hits for attacks made within 5 feet of the target. Send anyone with a weapon into melee to finish off the targets before they manage to succeed on a save. However remember that targets get an additional save at the end of each round so you can’t predict how long this will stay in effect. If you up cast this to affect multiple targets you may reach a point where so few of them are still paralyzed that maintaing Concentration may not be worthwhile

Lesser Restoration 4 you won’t need it all the time but everyone needs it eventually

Locate Creatures or Animals 1 very situational. Situations where you need to find some specific type of plant are usually a major story point rather than some routine task. If you need this you can likely wait a day to prepare it and cast it as a ritual

Locate Object 1 too situational and too easy to counter. Anyone with any knowledge of magic that’s trying to hide something will wrap it in lead

Moonbeam 3 it’s easiest to compare Moonbeam to Flaming Sphere. In a practical sense they’re both an ongoing spell which will deal damage to one creature once per turn and the creature gets a save to reduce the damage or avoid it for Flaming Sphere. Moonbeam does more damage and targets save for half but since Constitution saves tend to be so high creatures will frequently resist it. Moonbeam also deals radiant damage which is a rarity for the Druid. All told it’s a very efficient use of a spell slot so at low levels before cantrip damage improves and while you have very few spell slots to throw around this is an excellent combat option

Pass without Trace 4 a +10 bonus in a game where most characters max out at +11 is huge. The bonus is enough to offset problems like a Fighter in full plate armor. But remember this is not invisibility. You can’t cast this and crouch down in plain view and magically disappear. A +10 bonus doesn’t negate line of sight rules. You still need cover or something

Protection from Poison 3 situational but poison is common across the full CR range so this is a fantastic defensive option at any level. The 1 hour duration means that you can get a lot of mileage out of a single spell slot even if you cast it ahead of time

Skywrite 1 only useful as a novelty. Still it’s hard to resist the ability to insult someone by writing nasty things about them in the sky for everyone to see for miles around

Spike Growth 3 2d4 damage EVERY 5 FEET and it’s every time the creature travels not every time the creature moves. So if you push or pull the creature they take damage. A 20 ft radius spread is a fairly large area too so you can easily affect whole rooms or long stretches of hallway

Warding Wind 3 a decent buff for melee druids including both Circle of the Moon and Circle of Spores. Making the area around you difficult terrain makes it hard for enemies to move toward or away from you and disadvantage on ranged weapon attacks keeps enemies with ranged weapons from picking you off from afar while you’re closing the distance

Wither and Bloom 2 poor damage on a con save and you can have an ally spend a hit die. If you want damage you have plenty of other options. If you want healing you have plenty of other less-expensive options

3rd level spells

Call Lightning 2 definitely situational and hard to use effectively. With a 10-minute duration you can produce a total of 100 bolts of lightning each dealing 3d10 or more damage in an AOE. This is a very efficient use of a spell slot but the single-round damage is poor compared to spells of the same level so if you’re just trying to kill whatever’s in a room and move on you should look elsewhere. The cloud itself is immobile and lightning bolts must target a location under the cloud meaning anywhere directly beneath the 60 foot radius cloud. That’s a big area but it’s still immobile so unless you’re in a long fight or multiple fights within one area you’re likely going to allow this to expire before you get the full effect. You can activate the lightning bolt effect while in Wild Shape which means that you can turn into something sneaky like a rat or a small bird and go unnoticed while raining lightning on your foes but the other problems remain and your enemies are likely to seek cover (a ceiling would provide full cover) or move out of the area of the inexplicable storm cloud which is at most 120 feet above you

Conjure Animals 4 the lowest-level Conjure Creature spell, Conjure Animals can be a powerful tool. At low levels a single CR 2 creature is a significant increase to your party’s combat capabilities. However like other Conjure Creature spells the DM decides what animals you summon (you get to select the CR just not the specific animal) which means that you need to trust your DM to give you something helpful

Daylight 2 the spell Continual Flame Light or even a torch is typically sufficient but sometimes you need to light up larger areas like dark battlefields or massive caverns. This also dispels magical darkness of 3rd level or lower which is great if you’re fighting enemies like Drow which can produce magical darkness. Tragically you can’t cast Daylight at a higher level to dispel magical darkness of higher levels

Dispel Magic 4 every party needs someone who can cast Dispel Magic. It’s simply too important to forgo

Erupting Earth 3 this is probably the closest Druid gets to Fireball. But it deals 2/3 as much damage and has a quarter the surface area so it’s clearly for a different purpose you’re using this spell for the difficult terrain. The damage is enough that you won’t regret casting it instead of a cantrip and even at higher levels it’s a great way to place some difficult terrain. The difficult terrain effect is nearly permanent so if you have time you can use this to set up ambushes and choke points which can define encounters against anything that can’t fly

Feign Death 1 very situational

Flame Arrows 1 this is a waste of a spell slot. It amounts to at most 12d6 damage which is a tragic waste of a 3rd level spell slot. If you somehow manage to hit one target with all 12 arrows you’ll do more damage than Fireball. But you have to somehow hit with a bunch of arrows or pass them off to someone who will and following the typical attack vs AC progression means that a player will hit something like 65% of the time which means you’re getting 65% of the maximum damage so something like 7d6. At that point Erupting Earth is better

Meld into Stone 1 very situational

Plant Growth 3 situational. Outside of normal adventuring activities the ability to enrich land to double crop yields is very useful. But dnd is a game primarily about adventuring and the option to make an area of plants overgrown is the more important option for most adventurers. In most cases Entangle will work fine if you just need to slow your enemies down but Plant Growth doesn’t expire so those plants remain difficult to walk through until someone clears the plants which may requires hours of chopping and/or burning. The spell also doesn’t specify that the plants grow along the ground or surfaces so RAW it can create a sphere of plants creating super difficult terrain extending 100 feet into the air potentially engulfing flying enemies. The math on Plant Growth’s speed reduction is impressive. Since most creatures have a speed of around 30 feet moving at 1/4 speed means that they can move 1 5 foot square and be left with 10 feet of movement that won’t get them anywhere unless they dash or something. Plant Growth doesn’t create difficult terrain so it’s possible that difficult terrain would stack with Plant Growth but I personally think that’s not how it’s intended to work. Plant Growth specifies that a creature moving through the area must spend 4 feet of movement for every 1 foot while the difficult terrain rule specifies that moving 1 foot in difficult terrain costs 2 feet of speed and since those two statements conflict I think you’re intended to use whichever effect is greater rather than stacking them or multiplying them or something. While it’s not discussed in the text of the spell it seems likely that Plant Growth would also impede vision. If you turn a nicely tended hedge into a 100 ft radius hemisphere of super-difficult terrain there’s clearly enough stuff in the way that seeing through it is difficult. This would necessarily mean that creatures inside the area would likely be concealed to some degree so don’t expect to drop Plant Growth on and enemy and then spend the next several turns spraying them with cantrips until they fall down. Plant Growth’s problematic limitation is that it requires plants to be in the area. However there doesn’t seem to be any restriction on how many or how large these plants must be just that they must be normal whatever that means and where there’s lack of clarity there’s room for shenanigans. For example you might carry around a potted plant and throw it into the area to provide the necessary plant life to support the spell. Plants like mint or clover can fit into a small pot and when you make them grow you get a pretty and pleasant smelling field of super-difficult terrain. If your DM scoffs at the idea of 100-foot-tall clover patches consider carrying a bonsai tree or some other plant which would normally be very tall though a bonsai might not qualify as normal since we don’t know what that word means here

Protection from Energy 3 an excellent defensive option but you may be doing alright with Absorb Elements

Sleet Storm 2 this spells is challenging. The area of effect is excellent and combining difficult terrain possibly falling Prone and making the area heavily obscured make it difficult for creatures to act effectively while in the area and if they’re near the center it’s difficult for them to escape. On top of that spellcasters will have trouble maintain Concentration while making repeated checks against high DC every turn. However beyond inconveniencing creatures within the area this doesn’t get you much. You can’t see into the area to target creatures within the area with others spells since spells typically require line of sight and Heavily Obscured blocks line of sight though some spells like Fireball don’t require you to be able to see so unless you have an ally who dropped an ongoing damage effect within the area the best you can do is wait or run away. At that point Fog Cloud may be just as effective

Speak with Plants 2 situational

Tidal Wave 2 being knocked prone typically isn’t a problem in 5e because standing costs so little. However being knocked prone while flying causes you to fall potentially taking a bunch of damage. This spell notably doesn’t require that it be cast on the ground or on top of a body of water. You could cast this in mid-air or even wholly underwater. Using it midair seems like a good way to counter multiple flying enemies. However hitting more than 2 enemies with a line effect even one that’s wide like Tidal Wave can be very difficult so it’s rare that you’ll hit more than 2 targets with this

Wall of Water 1 Warding Wind also causes Disadvantage for ranged attacks and it’s both a level lower and it follows you

Water Breathing 2 situational but crucial when you need it

Water Walk 2 usually flight is a better option than walking across a liquid

Wind Wall 1 extremely situational

4th level spells

Blight 2 not enough damage for a spell slot this level and Constitution saves tend to be high

Charm Monster 3 a great nonlethal way to deal with enemies. It doesn’t require that the target be able to understand you but otherwise has the same complications which Charm Person does the target is only friendly toward you and when the spell ends they know that they were charmed

Confusion 1 I’ve always hated Confusion. It’s unpredictable unreliable and makes combat take twice as long as it would normally. It’s great that it’s an AOE and you might be able to make creatures attack their allies but there are too many points of failure for it to be a reliable option

Conjure Minor Elementals 2 the same CR range as Conjure Animals but a spell level higher. You could argue that elementals might be more useful than animals since elementals can often do things like move through solid stone or light things on fire but you’re still totally beholden to the DM’s whims. You might need an Earth Elemental and get a Magmin or something. The spell isn’t limited to vanilla elementals any creature of the Elemental creature type qualifies.

Conjure Woodland Beings 2 the same CR range as Conjure Animals but a spell level higher. Fey are interesting creatures with a wide range of capabilities so your DM is free to give you any number of options which may be either perfectly suited to the situation or totally useless

Control Water 2 all of the effects are situational and there are some weird edge cases like using the Flood option on a puddle or a full bucket where it’s unclear what happens when the water overflows its container

Dominate Beast 4 beasts tend to have poor Wisdom saves and there is rarely a better way to handle a potentially hostile creature than by dominating it. This spell can trivialize an entire creature type which is impressive for a spell at this level and the scaling is good enough that using a higher-level spell slot is appealing if you encounter a sufficiently powerful beast that you could reasonably drag it through a few encounters. Even if the spell ends prematurely beasts aren’t especially smart and they might view the creatures which you were forcing them to fight as enemies and continue fighting them or they might simply flee if they are injured. Beasts rarely fight to their last hit point unless they’re defending their young or something. They’re animals not zealots

Elemental Bane 3 Druids depend heavily on damage types covered by Elemental Bane especially fire damage but devoting your Concentration to this means that you can’t concentrate on many of the Druid’s best spells. Note that the extra damage is PER TURN so if your allies can deal the same type of damage you can pile up a lot of damage very quickly. Unfortunately the save is Constitution based and Constitution saves tend to be high

Freedom of Movement 2 nice but situational

Giant Insect 4 this spell is really good but I still hate it because the best way to use the spell is to keep a bunch of bugs in jars to use with the spell so that you’re not dependent on whatever bugs happen to be within 30 ft of you and I just can’t bring myself to write I have jars full of bugs on a character sheet. But if you’re not me and you don’t mind the mere concept of willingly interacting with bugs this spell is good. In practice it’s very similar to Conjure Animals but you can choose the creature you want by targeting an appropriate bug. Spiders are good for crowd control scorpions have blindsight wasps are good for flying enemies and centipedes are numerous enough to block big sections of a battlefield and their damage is as good as the giant wasps so if you don’t need flight they’re a great way to bog down enemies with no AOE options. Also centipedes scorpions and spiders aren’t insects. They could have called this spell Vermin Growth or “Giant Vermin but I think 5e is trying to get away from the word.

Grasping Vine 1 this is not nearly good enough for such a high level spell and requiring Concentration AND monopolizing your bonus action makes it nearly useless. Your best bet is to combine it with something that produces difficult terrain like Erupting Earth to keep a creature stuck inside a 30 ft radius but there are simply too many failure points to make this even remotely reliable. Without the ability to produce useful combos this is a weak and unreliable crowd control effect. If this was a 1st level spell I think I would still prefer Entangle. Granted Entangle is really good but the fact that Grasping Vine is 4th level and worse than Entangle really highlights just how weak it is. If you’re desperate to use this try attaching it to a ceiling and pulling creatures off the ground and then dropping them

Guardian of Nature 2 this is a challenging spell. The benefits are great but the duration is short and the spell’s effectiveness depends heavily on how you’re built. Primal Beast is clearly intended to be the scary offensive form but a Druid making Strength based melee attacks is either a poorly built Druid or they’re using Wild Shape. Great Tree is usually the better option advantage on Dexterity and Wisdom based attacks covers important options like daggers but also covers anything you can use with Shillelagh. The temporary hit points will help compensate for your poor AC and the area of difficult terrain will help you keep enemies in convenient melee range. Circle of the Moon can get some use out of Primal Beast but it has a Bonus Action casting time and a 1 minute duration so until you get Beast Spells at 18th level it’s hard to get both effects going at the same time and you have at most 9 rounds to actually use the effects. Circle of the Moon can choose to Wild Shape as either an Action or a Bonus Action so you can start both effects in the turn, but you won’t be able to do much else in that turn. During the remaining 9 rounds you’ll be very effective but it’s still only 9 rounds

Hallucinatory Terrain 2 situational

Ice Storm 1 this spell is terrible. 2 types of dice for no readily apparent reason. 2 types of damage which makes sense but is still annoying. Compare this to Erupting Earth. Ice Storm’s AOE is much bigger 20 ft cube vs 20 ft radius cylinder but it does an average of just 3 more damage and the difficult terrain only lasts until the end of your next turn so it’s nearly pointless. This simply isn’t good enough to justify being a spell level higher than Erupting Earth

Locate Creature 2 more effective than mundane tracking but the 1,000 foot range can be a problem if the target is actively fleeing from you. If you’re going to use this be sure that you’re moving faster than your target

Polymorph 4 fantastic and versatile but also very complicated

Stone Shape 4 where Transmute Rock is a gigantic sledge hammer Stone Shape is a scalpel. You’re able to finely shape relatively small quantities of stone nearly however you choose and a 5 ft cube of stone is enough to get quite a lot done. However the wording is intentionally limiting everything you do with a specific casting must occur within a 5 ft cube you don’t just get a 5 ft cube worth of stone with which to perform shenanigans

Stoneskin 3 expensive but really good. Barkskin is Stoneskin’s only competition and resistance to weapon damage types will be more effective than 16 AC

Wall of Fire 4 an absolutely fantastic area control option

Watery Sphere 2 if you just want to restrain creatures cast Entangle. The primary appeal here is the ability to restrain the target then drag them around for the spell’s duration

5th level spells

Antilife Shell 3 helpful against melee enemies with short reach which includes a large portion of the Monster Manual even at high levels

Awaken 1 neat but extremely situational

Commune with Nature 3 3 miles isn’t an especially large range but since this a ritual you can cast this repeatedly as you travel. You might get some useful information but your DM and your party might get sick of sitting around waiting for you to perform the ritual every time you travel 6 miles. You might be able to get away with performing this from the back of a wagon or something which would let you cast it repeatedly without slowing things down

Conjure Elemental 3 while you get to choose the type of elemental summoned you don’t get to pick the CR so your DM is totally allowed to screw you and make you summon a single Steam Mephit or something else incredibly low CR. Don’t use this unless you sincerely believe that your DM will give you something worth the spell slot. Also be very careful to maintain Concentration for the duration of the spell. Losing control of your summoned elemental could be a serious problem if things are already going badly for you.

Contagion 3 if you hit the target with a melee spell attack they’re poisoned for a minimum of 3 turns. Poisoned is an extremely effective debuff though many creatures are resistant or immune to it. Even so the Poisoned effect may be more significant than the disease. The target must fail a total of 3 saving throws to apply your chosen disease and considering a typical combat lasts 3-5 rounds many enemies won’t live long enough for that to happen. Consider the Poisoned effect the primary effect of the spell and think of the disease as a neat novelty which might come up if you don’t manage to kill the target fast enough

Control Winds 2 a downdraft is a great way to deal with groups of flying enemies since falling prone while flying causes the target to fall. But there are other options like Earthbind which can also handle flying enemies with a much lower level spell slot though admittedly Earthbind only affects 1 target and they won’t take falling damage

Geas 2 this spell is situational by design. It has a 1 minute casting time and Verbal components so you’re not going to break this out in combat or while sneaking around in a dungeon. You’re going to restrain the subject and stand around chanting for a full minute and hope that they fail the save. Once that’s done you need to give them a suitable command (read the spell description). Generally you’ll want it to be something that benefits you but will also take the target most of the duration to keep them from becoming a problem for you. Also remember that the base effect of the Charmed condition makes it easier for you to talk the creature into doing things with Charisma checks so a Geased creature may be a useful ally for the duration of the effect even if the original order isn’t directly related to what you want them to do. Increasing the spell level extends the duration but weirdly the damage doesn’t increase. 5d10 is a nice pile of damage but it doesn’t scale with spell level and at some point the target will get smart enough to wake up trigger the 5d10 damage take a short rest then go about their business. If the damage scaled this would be less of a problem but damage is so easily repaired in 5e outside of combat that without further penalties Geas is more a tax on hit dice than the magical shackles it’s intended to be. If you want a homebrew fix add a level of fatigue each day that the target is out of compliance or make the damage impossible to heal until they go a day without taking it. Neither of those is a perfect solution but they’re miles better than an average of 27 damage

Greater Restoration 4 a crucial healing option someone needs to have this in every party

Insect Plague 3 combining both ongoing damage and difficult terrain Insect Plague is a good area control option further improved because you can place it in the air or underwater rather than on the ground. However the radius isn’t big enough to prevent a creature from escaping if its willing to spend its Action to Dash so look for other ways to force the creature to stay inside the sphere like shoving tripping or casting Wall of Stone

Maelstrom 4 a great area control effect. The damage isn’t much but it covers a 30 ft radius circle in difficult terrain so creatures at the center of the square with 30 ft speed need to Dash just to reach the edge of the effect. If you can force creatures to stay in the area somehow (knock them prone push or pull them restrain them) you can get a lot of damage out of 1 spell slot

Mass Cure Wounds 2 you never want this to be a good option. It’s your best bet when you need to revive a dying ally that you can’t reach but even then Healing Word is typically sufficient

Planar Binding 1 situational and very difficult to use. Druids can’t cast Magic Circle so you need to ask a friend for help or stumble across one in the wild. You also don’t get high level summoning options like Gate so the best things you can bind are Fey and Elementals summoned via Conjure Elemental and Conjure Fey. Plus there’s the 1,000gp consumable material component

Reincarnate 3 this is a good option if your party can’t get Raise Dead for some reason but keep in mind that changing races will probably wreck the target’s build

Scrying 3 Scrying is a spectacularly powerful option, and if you know enough about major characters you can use to repeatedly spy on them to learn things which you might otherwise be totally unable to learn

Summon Draconic Spirit 3 a sturdy flying summon with several damage resistances the draconic spirit can find invisible foes serve as a flying mount though it’s intelligent, so don’t go riding it into melee and its attacks are good enough to do quite a bit of damage. Overall it’s a solid versatile summoning option though it might not be as lethal as similar spells

Transmute Rock 3 adventuring frequently takes you to places with stone floors and ceilings like caves and castles and even if you don’t use this to restrain enemies you can use it for things like walking through walls collapsing structures or generally just ruining anything made of stone. It affects a 40 foot cube which is enough to do a horrifyingly large amount of structural damage

Tree Stride 2 in a forest this can be a helpful way to quickly travel short distances but It’s not nearly as effective for short distances as Misty Step it’s not good for long distances you can go about a mile total if all the trees line up perfectly and you run a little bit during your turns and you’re totally limited by the position and species of trees

Wall of Stone 4 Wall of Stone is useful defensively for creating instant cover and you can use it to segment off portions of a fight to isolate enemies from their allies or to put a barrier between your allies and problematic enemies. The ability to make the effect permanent also means that with repeated castings you’re able to build structures with it provided that you can meet the merge with and be solidly supported by existing stone requirement

Wrath of Nature 1 this would be a great spell if you could guarantee that you were in an area with trees grass and loose stones every time you fought something. But you can’t do that and forests are a relatively small portion of most worlds environments

6th level spells

Bones of the Earth 2 if you’re inside somewhere with a low enough ceiling that you can pin enemies against the ceiling this is great. Otherwise it’s borderline useless

Conjure Fey 2 Fey are powerful creatures with a wide variety of abilities but remember that the DM selects which creature you summon so you can’t guarantee that you will summon something useful. You don’t even get to pick the CR so your DM is totally allowed to screw you and make you summon a single frog. Don’t use this unless you sincerely believe that your DM will give you something worth the spell slot. Also be very careful to maintain Concentration for the duration of the spell. Losing control of your summoned Fey could be a serious problem if things are already going badly for you

Druid Grove 2 not the sort of spell you cast often while adventuring but the fact that you can make it permanent makes it a really cool spell to cast when you retire from adventuring

Find the Path 2 situational and often difficult to use but still very interesting. The hardest part of using the spell is finding an object from the place you want to go. Once you’ve solved that problem Find the Path merely gives you directions. It doesn’t avoid hazards and it doesn’t point out traps so be wary of traps and ambushes along the way

Heal 4 : one of the best healing options in the game especially during combat

Heroes Feast 3 the duration is instantaneous but the effects of eating the feast last 24 hours and that’s definitely not confusing. Jokes aside you should cast this spell every day. Poison and fear are common nuisances and advantage on ALL Wisdom saving throws is spectacular. On top of those already amazing benefits 2d10 extra hit points is a small but still helpful boost to your party’s durability and it stacks with Aid. Note that these extra hit points aren’t temporary hit points so you can still add temporary hit points on top of your boosted hit point maximum. The only drawback is the 1,000gp cost to cast the spell

Investiture of Flame 3 a solid offensive option the damage for being adjacent to you is easy to apply if you’re grappling easily accomplished by many Wild Shape forms or to use to encourage enemies to run away and potentially draw opportunity attaks and using Wild Shape doesn’t end the effect so you’re free to turn yourself into a flaming owl fly into position to use the line of fire effect then fly to safety

Investiture of Ice 3 largely similar to Investiture of Flame but you trade ongoing fire damage for an area of difficult terrain around you. You also trade Investiture of Fire’s line for a cone of the same length but in exchange for the broader AOE you lose a little bit of damage

Investiture of Stone 4 the earthquake effect is mostly useless but the other effects are fantastic. Resistance to weapon damage types is fantastic for a class with notoriously low AC and only d8 hit points. Circle of the Moon will find it especially useful since the effect continues while in Wild Shape allowing you to remain in Wild Shape longer before running out of hit points. The difficult terrain point may not seem especially useful but until this level the majority of the Druid’s spells which create difficult terrain do so by scattering rubble which this spell conveniently allows you to ignore

Investiture of Wind 4 a 60 foot fly speed is considerable and disadvantage on ranged weapon attacks against you means that the only easy way to hit you is with spells or something. Of the investiture spells this is easily the best option for Circle of the Land who generally can’t risk being close enough to use Investiture of Flame or Investiture of Ice offensively except possibly while flying around as a fire/ice breathing owl and who need to avoid being attacked too much to use Investiture of Stone

Move Earth 1 extremely situational but by this level you might have a permanent base of some sort and the ability to reform the terrain in an area that you frequent can be very helpful. Flatten arable land for farms roads and buildings. Dig trenches for irrigation as a moat. Redirect the flow of rivers or reshape lakes and ponds. Create safe harbors by lowering land adjacent to water enough that ships can sail in. Combined with Stone Shape Wall of Stone and some naturally occurring local stone you have everything you need to build yourself a castle.

Primordial Ward 2 in most cases Protection from Energy is sufficient because most creatures can only dish out one type of non-weapon damage. However if you’re facing a spellcaster or something horrifying like Tiamat you’ll want to cover all the bases. This spell notably omits resistance to Necrotic Psychic and Radiant damage which is a crucial vulnerability to understand before depending on Primordial Ward and it’s also a great data point when explaining how useful it is to be able to deal those damage types

Sunbeam 3 an efficient use of a spell slot giving you the equivalent of Lightning Bolt every turn. The blinding effect is great too but Constitution saves tend to be high so think of it more like an added bonus on top of the damage rather than as a core component of the spell

Transport via Plants 4 the duration is only one round but any creature means that you can queue up a small horde of creatures and charge them through into the entrance plant by having them all run into the center then run away from the exit in the space of a single round. The spell doesn’t specify that creatures must exit into an unoccupied space which opens up further room for abuse. You can feed as many creatures through the plant as you can physically squeeze through so it’s basically a magical clown car tree gate thing. Oh and it goes to any sufficiently large plant on the same plane of existence so you can transport between planets provided that there are suitable destinations in your setting or to less far off places like the Underdark provided that you’ve been there once before and have seen/touched a suitable destination plant

Wall of Thorns 3 casting Wall of Fire at a 6th-level spell will do almost as much damage and Wall of Fire affect creatures within 10 ft of the wall so it’s much easier to apply the damage. However fire damage is commonly resisted and aside from the damage there is little preventing enemies from moving through a Wall of Fire. Wall of Thorns damage will be less commonly resisted it blocks line of sight and moving through it costs 4 times as much movement as normal. If you add difficult terrain with something like Erupting Earth it’s profoundly difficult to get out of or through the wall and if you can push or pull enemies into the wall somehow they’ll have a lot of trouble getting out of it

Wind Walk 3 Transport Via Plants is your go to travel option but if you’re scouting an area from the air or if there are no suitable plants a 300 ft fly speed is a great way to do it. That’s 10 times as fast as most players can walk so you can cover huge distances in the spell’s 8-hour duration

7th level spells

Draconic Transformation 4 blindsight flight and a breath weapon that you get to use both immediately and as a Bonus Action on following turns. The breath weapon’s damage is as good as Fireball so you’re getting as much damage as a 3rd level fireball as a Bonus Action every turn. The only problem is that you want to use this early in a fight where an area control spell or crowd control spell would be more immediately impactful. Your best bet is to cast this right before combat starts or on a turn when you were already going to cast a cantrip

Fire Storm 2 imagine a fireball that you got to cut up and shape in 10 ft cubes. That’s essentially what Fire Storm is. It’s a decent blast spell but it doesn’t do nearly enough damage for a spell of this level

Mirage Arcane 4 this is a difficult spell. The affectable area is huge the distance is Sight and the effects of the illusion are tangible enough that you can physically interact with them including picking up sticks or stones. But it’s unclear how far that goes. Can you burn the illusory wood to keep yourself warm? Can you smooth over difficult terrain in the same way that you can make smooth terrain difficult? Could you place stairs in the side of a clear cliff face? How far up and down does the effect stretch? Your DM will be the arbiter of exactly what you can get away with but the spell itself is a wildly versatile toolbox

Plane Shift 4 Combination travel and banishment in 1 spell. You can easily replicate teleportation by casting Plane Shift twice to get where you want to be on the same plane. You can also banish a creature to a plane where they’ll be really unhappy like a living creature banished to the Plane of Fire or a demon banished to Mount Celestia. The spell requires a Charisma save to resist and many monsters have terrible Charisma saves because they’re horrifying monstrosities

Regenerate 1 too situational to select as a spellcaster with a limited number of spells known. Dnd doesn’t have injury rules which lead to limb removal except in very specific circumstances so it’s not like characters are losing fingers and toes despite spending potentially years being sliced and diced by all many of opponents

Reverse Gravity 4 if used under the right circumstances, this spell is a death sentence for many creatures. If affected creatures can’t grab onto something they don’t get a save. If they can’t fly and can’t fight at range they’re floating targets for up to a minute. If you’re facing creatures of larger size than your party members, you can place the cylinder slightly off the ground dragging tall enemies into the air while your allies duck below the bottom of the cylinder

Symbol 1 while many of the effects are wonderful the inability to move the symbol and the high casting cost are prohibitive

Whirlwind 3 casting this spell is a commitment enemies won’t just walk into the whirlwind so you’ll need to spend your Action every turn to move it. Hopefully you’re in close enough quarters that you’ll be able to hit multiple enemies each turn but they’ll probably figure out that a 30 ft tall tornado isn’t something which they want to stand by. Once you have a creature in the whirlwind, the victim is making ability checks to get out rather than a saving throw or a skill check so even creatures with high Strength or Dexterity may need several attempts to escape. And even when they do escape they’re hurled between 30 and 180 feet in a random direction. Unfortunately it looks like hitting objects won’t hurt them though they may take some falling damage but you can always go pick them up again on your own turn if they’re close enough

8th level spells

Animal Shapes 3 without adequate preparation Animal Shapes is essentially a worse version of Mass Polymorph the size creature type and CR limitations gives you few good combat options. But there’s a lot of nuance to this spell and understanding that nuance can make it extremely useful

Antipathy/Sympathy 3 difficult to use because it targets a single type of creature but if you’re facing a homogenous group of enemies you can greatly hinder them with either option. Even against single creatures using Sympathy to force an enemy to approach one of your party members (Sympathy on a paladin to attract a lich) can force enemies into a situation which will end in their death

Control Weather 1 very situational and kind of a pain for the DM. Go to your setting’s arctic equivalent and raise the temperature to Unbearable Heat for 8 hours. That certainly won’t cause horrifying and potentially irreparable ecological damage that the DM will need to either totally disregard or track in some unpleasant fashion for the duration of the campaign

Earthquake 2 unless you’re specifically trying to destroy buildings this spell is too subject to the DM’s whims to be reliable. The fissures are the only part of the spell which can reliably harm enemies who aren’t inside a collapsing building and you have no control over where they appear

Sunburst 3 imagine Fireball with 3 times the radius and it blinds the targets. The targets get a Constitution save every turn to remove the blindness so you can’t expect it to stay in effect for long but the save is at the end of their turns so they’ll spend at least one turn blinded if they fail the initial save and that may be enough to determine the outcome of the encounter

Tsunami 1 this would be great if it didn’t take a full minute to cast. With Sight range this is clearly intended for causing havoc at incredible distances such as by leveling structures

9th level spells

Foresight 1 this is without a doubt the best buff in the game. With an 8 hour duration you can throw it on the lucky recipient and watch them laugh their way through nearly any challenge for a full day worth of adventuring

Shapechange 4 the best Polymorph spell for targeting yourself. The ability to change forms while still under the effects of a single casting makes you fantastically versatile allowing you to change forms to suit the situation at a moment’s notice. However it takes an action to change forms so you want to avoid doing so in combat. Generally you should have a few go to combat forms but avoid any creature that has spellcasting in its stat block as losing the creature’s spellcasting will typically reduce the creature’s CR considerably. If you’re ever unsure what to pick pick a dragon. It’s hard to go wrong with a high CR dragon

Storm of Vengeance 1 for a 9th level spell with a cool name and an exciting description this spell is terrible. The effects replace each other every round rather than adding on top of each other so you need to consider each effect individually. The only meaningful damage is the lightning bolts in round 3 and notably that’s also the only damage which affects objects. I can’t guess why hailstones large enough to deal as much damage as a greatsword somehow can’t affect objects but I suppose 2d6 damage to a castle for one round isn’t going to do more than annoy some masons. The wind and cold damage from rounds 5 through 10 are the bulk of the spell’s effect but the damage is pitiful and you can get the wind effect from other spells. The only case I can think of where this spell is useful is if you want to murder a small community of peasants in ramshackle houses at incredible distance

True Resurrection 2 the Druid’s first and only conventional way to raise the dead. Previously your best option was Reincarnate which was fine but unpredictable. Ideally you want to rely on the lowest level available option for raising the dead because the material components are so expensive but Druid doesn’t get much choice. If you don’t want your friend coming back as a different race you’ll need to drop 25,000gp to do it or find a Cleric

#dnd rankings #druid rankings

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cozysroom · 2 years ago

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Creative Work #1 - Creative Problems/Mixing

One of the first issues I came across during the process of creating this track was that adding layers over the primary vocal sample from Ichiko Aoba drowned it out. I would increase the gain on the vocals and they would be too loud - other way around and they were lost too far in the background. I recalled an excellent example of sampling from a track by JPEGMAFIA named ‘Beta Male Strategies’ and studied the way he made his sample work for him. I noticed he used side-chain compression to not only create space for the drums but also to invoke a cool pulsating effect and immediately incorporated it into my mix. I first side-chained the vocals to the kick drum but it didn’t sound quite right - the kick drums were too sparse so the effect was too sporadic. I instead created a drum pattern that dictated the exact points I wanted the compressor to kick in and muted it. This allowed me to control exactly what pulse I wanted the compressor to follow.

I ended up taking this technique and applying it across the project [most notably during Section B] and the pulsating side chain compression became part of the sound character of the song.

As for mixing, I believe I did the best I could with my current knowledge and equipment [regrettably, I do not own decent headphones yet or studio monitors, and have only limited knowledge of mixing on top of what we earned in class this year]. I ran through the project and gain staged to the best of my ability. I then ran through each track and eq’d, focusing on dialling in the frequencies I needed most while also considering what place it could have. One of the biggest hurdles I encountered here was the monstrous Section B - with it’s strong, thumping guitars, the dynamic and jumpy bassline and the high tempo drum beat, it was by far the most difficult thing to bring out all the qualities I wanted in the mix in that section. I originally had a deeper bass, but compromised and switched to the moog bass which had more of the crunchy sound around 2kHz - this allowed me introduce more of the warm, punchy lows on the distorted guitar that I wanted to bring out.

Because the sound was too thick in the middle of the mix, I duplicated the track and hard panned each left and right. Then, slightly offset them from each other and this created a deep stereo effect - a technique I have used to create wide chorus vocals but sounded good to me on these guitars.

#creativework1

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x-chubby-reader · 4 years ago

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Oh MY GOD what about Bakugou, kirishima, and sero who get hit by a quirk who turns them into a lil toddler or whatever and they’ve got the biggest crush on their chubby/plus size classmate 🥺🥺

A/N - I literally love this idea so much, thanks to @fandom-fander for helping out with this headcannon.

Not Prof Read

Lowercase Intentional

Cursing

Toddler!Bakugo, Kirishima, and Sero x Plus size reader

Bakugo

aizawa sure as hell didn't feel like dealing with the angry pomeranian in minature form

he decided to leave the boy with the class and let them decide among themselves on who should watch the little firecracker for the day

extra credit anyone?

everyone immediately pinned the responsibility on you

kirishima, he didn't feel like getting screeched at by a small bakugo and needed to apparently go study

he also knew that bakugo had a fondness for you in his teenage form, so why not see if he still has it

fr little bakugo pretends to hate your guts

somehow this little toddler has the most hurtful insults

“you can't even get a boyfriend? that's pretty sad.”

suddenly choking out a child is okay

do it… no one has to know how it happened

even though he had pretended to hate you, he still kept trying to show off to you

you decided to take him out on a little bike/tricycle ride? homeboy flipped it trying to show off how fast he could go and then proceeded to complain about scraping his knee

hey at least he got your attention

he is a literal leash kid fight me oh my god

bakugo will simply run away

you expected him to listen? oh you're in for a surprise

the only option that you give him is to either wear the embarrassing monkey pack or to hold your hand

he immediately grabs your hand and is literally so giddy and its adorable my lord-

smiles for days my heart i can’t-

he may seem all happy and nice, but that can flip in a minute

he’s the biggest brat sometimes and you are literally this close to punting him across the room

you don't get him something that he wants? little pomeranian boy will turn into a velociraptor child in an instant

the decimals that that kids voice can reach up to is kind of impressive not going to lie

“no bakugo, you can't have that right now maybe later-”

screech

thankfully he tires himself out quick enough to set him down for a nap

but nothing is ever simple, is it?

he wont go to sleep without you though, claiming that there are monsters and he needs to know where you are so he can protect you

no matter how many times you had explained to him that there weren't any monsters around, you slowly succumbed to his pleas

almost feeling bad for him, he just looked so serious about how you could get hurt that it made you feel bad

you didn't notice how much taking care of a kid took out of you until now

you had made a mental note to apologize to your mom for having to deal with you when you were younger later

As soon as you settled down on the couch with the toddler laying on top of you, you almost instantaneously passed out

oh boy were you in for a surprise when you woke up to a teen bakugo, still curled into your torso

he looked up to you after feeling you stir, he almost had a smirk on his face before burying his head back into you

mostly to hide the redness spreading over his face, he wasn’t going to admit that he was blushing

no way in hell

he just mumbled a “later” before his breaths softened into a steady pace

yeah, you may be stuck here for a bit

Kirishima

you were there for the whole thing

red-top had pushed you out of the way of an incoming quirk blast and suffered the consequences

he became young again, almost too young

you felt bad

and who wouldn’t

so of course you took it upon yourself to watch him until the effects wore off

the thing you learned about him was that he was an even touchy-er child

homeboy just wanted to be held all the time

just climbing up and latching himself onto your calf

it was adorable but hard to walk with

If you pick him up, you’ve basically sworn an oath with the devil himself

you cannot put him down

ever

he gives the most pitiful looks when you do and drags his feet when you walk

he also wont leave you alone

so curious in whatever your doing at that exact moment

and he is impressed by everything you do

“what are you doing?”

“reading”

“wow so cool!”

a bug came in through the window and he screamed

you walked in all nonchalant, grabbed your shoe, and smacked that some of a bitch into a next dimension

he lit up omfg

“wow y/n, that was so manly!”

you brought him in to class since it had been a school day and were too afraid to tell aizawa about the incident

the girls were literally all over him

i mean, who wouldn’t be all over an adorable and friendly (looking at you bakugo) kid?

and the pebble boy was lapping up the attention like a thirsty dog on a hot day

you never expected him to act like this

shy maybe, but then again he was pretty outgoing in his teenage form

he was grinning from ear to ear

literally posing like a mini body builder and making little huffing noises

even you couldn’t help it, letting a little aww out like most of the other girls

this had been causing a slight disturbance to the class

so the whole going to school thing was pointless as aizawa sent the two of you home anyways

he is already a tired dad, he dosen’t need to be dealing with a toddler right now

putting the little strongman on your back you began to walk

you had been hoping that the effects would wear off in a few more hours

but nothing ever goes to plan dose it?

while you had been walking, you noticed a significant weight increase, but just decided to ignore it

hey you were more sturdy and thicc, you wern’t no pussy, why stop all of a sudden because of the extra weight?

the only single thing that had alerted you to kiri being fully back was the whisper in your ear

instead of a sqeaky and mousy voice, you heart a more smooth and even comment

“hey stranger”

girl you dropped him and ran, him having to catch up to you

he has the audacity to give you a heart attack, he better suck it up

Sero

this was the same situation as bakugo, aizawa just didn’t want to deal with the kid

and especially a kid who kept mixing up two languages

he really was just so one

aizawa gave him the option to go to anyone

of course he ran straight to you, clinging onto your calf, as that was as high as he could reach

hey you looked the most inviting and least scary

he was literally terrified of bakugo and almost started to bawl is eyes out when he went near him

though he calm down slightly when he went down to get to a similar height as him.

why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to watch a cute little kid and skip class

hey, aizawa said whoever watched him got extra credit

but there soon was a slight problem that you noticed

well not really a problem, but more of a hurdle

with sero being raised in a household that spoke both english and spanish, he started to mix the two, not knowing any better

he would be asking for “leche” and you would just stand there trying to understand with your limited vocab

just the loading circle above your head whenever he started to talk

but you managed with google translate and going off of the vast amount of spanish soap operas you watched at 3 am once a week

surprisingly, he was a very artistic kid

at least every ten minutes he would walk over to you and hand you a squiggly picture of a flower, you, or him and you holding hands

and he would just giggle before running away to make another

bro heart go melt

being pre occupied with some papers that the father teacher had sent home with you, sero couldn’t get your attention

he might of forgotten your name and got stuck in a predicament

then the most rational thing popped into his head

well his dad called his mom “mi amor” and you and his mom were both pretty ladies

it made total sense to him so he went with it

“hey...”

nothing

“hey...”

nothing again

“hey... mi amor~”

your head shot up immediately

since he noticed that the name had gotten your attention, he just started using it

when he had shifted to being a teen again, the two of you never mentioned the name again

until a few days later when he was back to normal in class

homeboy was trying to get your attention and the multiple taps on the shoulder weren't cutting it

he got an idea

“hey... mi amor~”

yep that got you immediately

and he still uses that nickname for you

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christ0pher-evans · 3 years ago

Text

Healed Heart

Final Part of the Shattered Heart Mini-Series

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader Warnings: 18+ Minor Smut / Angst / Cheating / Arguing / Mentions of Divorce / Swearing Word Count: 2.9k A/N: So here is the final part of my mini-series. I honestly cannot thank you so much for the support on this, it means a lot to me and I love you guys for it!!! Please let me know what you think. I hope you’re happy with the ending because it took me a really long time to decide how I could finish off this story with justice. Thank you again, truly😘 Please reblog and like🖤

Part One: Shattered Heart Part Two: Troubled Heart Part Three: Bewildered Heart

♡

Three tortuous days had passed since you had last seen or spoke to Chris, three days since you kicked him out your home. You’d had nightmares about being in a loveless and hateful marriage, steamy dreams about your recent rendezvous and nights where you just felt so alone that you had cried yourself to sleep. It was safe to say that the past three days had been exhausting.

Although fucking Chris in the kitchen during a harrowing argument probably wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done, it led to some realisations about how you wanted to proceed with your marriage. You definitely didn’t regret anything you said, or did with Chris that day and that was what you found important amongst the disaster. Not regretting your decisions meant that you knew you wanted to move forward in your marriage, and not look backwards; something you would consider a big first step in repairing your marriage. You knew you couldn’t forget what happened and would have to address it before moving forward but you knew you had the desire to push through the hard times.

You’d called Chris that morning and told him that you wanted him to come home, not that he could or should but that you wanted him at home with you. Emotionally, it felt like the right decision, because at the end of the day he was your husband and you missed him. Practically, it is his home as well and it was the only place you could both be to sort out your marriage with privacy. You didn’t want to be surrounded by the media or by prying eyes. Hell, you didn’t even want the opinion of family or friends, this was between you and Chris only.

As you tidied up the house a bit and thought about the moment Chris would walk through the door, it was clear to you that no matter how angry or hurt you were, Chris was your endgame. You had played all the variables over and over in your head loads of times, societal rights and wrongs about cheating when you realised, fuck society. You would never leave your husband over this, and that was okay. This was your story and who cared what anyone else thought, because you didn’t want to give up. You owe it to yourself, to your marriage, to try and fix everything before throwing it away.

For the first few days, Chris slept in the spare room and you danced around each other, trying to find your new normal whilst you navigated the mess that was your marriage.

Once the first week passed, Chris continued to sleep in the spare room and you finally plucked up the courage to address the problem that had been plaguing your marriage for weeks, months if you consider back to when the problem initially started.

The day you decided to bring it up, you had finished work early and Chris was already at home when you arrived back around 3pm.

Walking through the house, you finally found Chris in the home office.

“I thought you were filming today?” Chris looked up at the sound of your voice.

“Oh hi sweetheart. I didn’t hear you come in? Um, yeah I was but, uh.. she turned up to re-film some scenes so I came home.”

You winced at the thought of her and Chris together but was quickly calmed by the effort Chris had made to avoid her.

Clearing your throat, you found the courage to reply.

“Oh, er, did you not have to keep filming?” Leaning against the door frame, you settled in for a longer conversation.

“It wasn’t anything that I can’t just do another day when she isn’t there. I’ve got some scripts to read over anyway so it’s fine.”

You sighed. This seemed like an appropriate time to bring up the unspoken topic so you could start moving forward but your anxiety felt crippling in that very moment, you didn’t know if you could face it.

“Sweetheart..” Chris whispered, “Y/N, sit down, please..”

You moved to sit down on the small sofa by the window, tucking your feet up and under yourself. Chris moved to join you, sitting fairly close but not touching you as you hadn’t crossed that boundary since he came home.

“Look baby, I’ve been home a week now and we’ve just walked around this house like we are two strangers. I need you to talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking because you’re the one that told me you wanted me to come home?”

You looked up from your lap and straight into Chris’s eyes, “You do feel like a stranger to me.”

You heard his voice hitch in his throat, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer.

“I’m still me, sweetheart. I’m the same person you met seven years ago and I’m the same person you married four years ago. Please don’t think I’ve changed.”

A lone tear falls straight from your eye, as you whimper, “I miss him.”

It takes Chris no longer than a second to pull you into his lap, all boundaries obliterated, as he hugs you like his life depends on it. As you cry all you can hear is Chris repeatedly whispering, ‘I’m here. I’m still me. I love you.’

You shudder at the softened and sweet contact, something you hadn’t felt for weeks but you embraced it, leaning further into Chris’s chest for comfort.

Once you had basked in the feeling for a bit longer, shutting the world and your problems out, you knew you had to move away. It would have been unfair to give Chris mixed signals as your marriage was still clearly on the rocks.

Sitting back up on the sofa, you composed yourself.

“I know you are still you Chris, but you’ve changed to me now. This you..”, you sigh before continuing, “..you’re tainted and untrustworthy, you’re the man that cheated on me, you’re not my husband. I need to get to know you again, and I need to learn to love our marriage again, and learn to trust you again. It’s going to take time.”

“B-but you want to try?”

“Of course I want to try. Endgame right? That hasn’t changed for me but other things have to change, we cannot continue like this otherwise if something else were to happen, I don’t think we would survive it.”

“I am infinitely yours sweetheart. Forever.” You watch Chris smile sweetly.

Feeling slightly more confident and feeling like Chris has really been listening to you, you knew it was time to talk about her.

“Okay, well whilst we are here, I think we should talk about her. It’s the biggest hurdle for me, and I can’t move past it. I just can’t deal with you seeing her right now, not whilst I’m learning to trust you again. I’ll never trust her so I need to 100% be able to trust you again.”

Grabbing hold of your hand, Chris nods in understanding.

“That is completely fine sweetheart. For now, how about I just work my schedule around when she isn’t there and wait until you are comfortable before I finish filming my scenes with her? I don’t care if it postpones the film, or they replace me, you are more important to me than any film and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you!”

You nod feebly, shocked and relieved with the instant commitment Chris was happy to make to save your marriage and earn your trust back.

An awkward silence falls over the room at the monumental conversation you just had. Needing a moment to yourself, you decide to make a quick exit.

‘Um, I think I’ll go and grab a shower before dinner.” Quickly leaving, you rush to your ensuite.

The shower provided a solace to digest what just happened, a few tears falling as you feel overwhelmed. But you left the bathroom with a renewed sense of hope.

It was another week of tough conversations and private marriage counselling before you felt you had reached another milestone in fixing your marriage.

You were in the ensuite of your bedroom when Chris came in to say goodnight. He was merely wearing a pair of pyjamas bottoms that amusingly you were wearing the matching top of.

He chuckled as he leant against the wall, “I was looking for that top.”

You giggled lightly and blushed, using all your self control to not drool over seeing Chris topless. Unfortunately, you had never been good at hiding any of your emotions from Chris and you saw him smirk slightly at your flustered state.

“Okay, well, I just came to say goodnight, so uh- night I guess..”

You mumbled a goodnight back as Chris turned to walk out the room. A rush of affection from the interaction washed over you causing you to shout back towards Chris to catch his attention.

“Um, stay..”

You saw the startled look on his face as the words left your lips.

“Stay with me tonight..”, you repeated as if you were confirming your own words.

“Yeah, course I’ll stay, if that’s what you want?”, he shuffled back towards you.

“It is what I want.”

You smiled at him sweetly before you brushed past him and moved towards the bed, leaving him a bit stunned in the bathroom.

Weeks passed with no problems. You and Chris had gone back to sleeping in the same bed and you often woke up snuggled together. At first, you’d wake and quickly move away from him however, slowly, you became comfortable with it and you were finally starting to feel at peace in his arms.

You had woken up early this specific Monday morning as it was Chris’s first day back filming with her. You felt sick to the stomach at the thought of him seeing her again and had slept terribly. You knew this day would come and thought you would be, at least slightly prepared, but as the day dawned, you were scared. Nerves caged around your heart as your mind could only replay the moment Chris told you that he had kissed another woman.

Chris had to go back to work, you understood that. He had already put it off for a while and sacrificed enough of his job to try and reconcile your marriage. You almost felt obliged to let him go back to work, who were you to hold your husband back from his job?

You were sitting in the kitchen, slowly nursing a very strong coffee when Chris came down, ready for his day. You glanced up at him briefly, barely acknowledging his words to you.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, are you okay? You’re up really early?”

Glancing at the clock reading 7:30am, you shrugged and mumbled, “Woke up at 5:30am.”

You stared in the abyss, thoughts whirring through your mind. Thinking about being frightened to death about the thought that your marriage wasn’t even halfway back to where it should be. Knowing that Chris would see her today, spend all his time with her whilst you were waiting back at home for him. It felt like some sick and twisted de ja vu.

It had been almost two months since you’d last been with Chris in any form of intimacy, almost four months since you were truly a happily married couple and now he was going to see her again, were you really debating that history would repeat itself?

“Baby, will you talk to me? I can see something is on your mind”, Chris gently rests his hand over yours, bringing you out your nightmarish daydream.

Looking up at Chris, taking in all his handsome features, you thought, how could anyone ever resist him. The thought panicked you even more.

Learning from previous mistakes, you knew it was best to communicate to him how you were feeling.

“I’m scared you’re going to see her again today and history could just repeat itself. Nothing is fixed yet Chris, and it feels like we are already going backwards.”

Just when you thought that being honest and communicating with Chris was the best option, it backfired in your face. Chris scoffed, a look of disgust on his face.

“Huh, you’re not kidding?” Watching him run his hand through his hair, he turns away and slams his coffee mug down on the side. You jump at the aggressive action.

“You really think I’d do that again? You really think that little of me? Have you not seen all the work I’ve put into this fucking marriage the past couple of months?”, he shrugs and turns back to you, “What else do you want from me Y/N?”

You wince at his spiteful words.

“I know you’ve put a lot into this marriage Chris, so have I! We’ve been doing really well, but can you really blame me for having doubts on your first day back with her? I thought you’d understand!”

“No, I don’t blame you, but I thought you’d trust me more that this by now.”

You chew on your lip nervously as you both stare at one another, terrified of the silence.

“I’ve got to go to work Y/N, see you later.” You hear Chris huff before he walks straight out the house, leaving you sitting dumbfounded and anxious at your kitchen table.

Trying to do any work from home was useless as you just felt panicked and couldn’t stop thinking about how Chris’s day was going. You hadn’t heard from him since this morning at it was now 6pm.

After developing a painful stress headache, you decide to lay down in bed. Believing you can block the world out and briefly pretend that nothing is wrong in your marriage, you shut your eyes momentarily.

FLASHBACK.

Waking up so softly, you barely blink your eyes open as you feel tender kisses dancing their way up your back, following the line of your spine. You flutter your eyes open carefully, aware of the vibrant sunlight gracing your face as you try to focus your eyes, gradually making out the floor length curtains gently blowing through the breeze from your open balcony doors. You can hear the soft crashes of the waves and can see the soft, baby blue sky from your place on the bed as you stretch out all your limbs from an energetic night. You let yourself surrender to the feeling of Chris’s lips grazing against your bare body.

As he gradually makes his way up to your neck and cheek, you hum in utter happiness and contentment as he places one final kiss on your cheek as he leans over your body. You can feel every line and shape of his naked form as it presses up against you. You think about how you’ve never felt so happy and loved in this moment, knowing that this is exactly how you’ll get to feel for the rest of your life.

“Good morning Mrs. Evans”, Chris roughly whispers, his voice hoarse from minimal sleep. He nibbles on your ear teasingly before grinding his core over your ass. You whimper at the feeling his movements evoke from you.

“Mhm, I like how that sounds”, you mumble before smiling happily. The use of that name giving you butterflies. The one that now belongs to you, the name that now proves you belong to each other forever.

END OF FLASHBACK.

You wake with a start as you hear the front door slam slightly. You sit up too quickly, as you feel light-headed and your vision blurs slightly. You breath deeply, gaining your bearings before looking at the bedside clock. 7:30pm; you had slept right through dinner.

Not that it mattered because you would have been eating alone anyway, you thought.

Your body adjusts to being awake, your stomach fluttering slightly at the memories and feelings that the dream provoked. Momentarily caught in a fever dream.

Back in reality, you brain registers that there was a slam at the door. Quickly, you get up and rush downstairs to see what is happening.

As you halt at the bottom of the stairs and look out into the open plan room, you see Chris standing by the breakfast bar. The very same breakfast bar that holds so many recent heartbreaking conversations. But this time, it doesn’t bring you sadness.

There Chris stands, holding takeout food in one hand and in the other, your favourite donuts. Behind him, on the wall, hangs the framed photo from your wedding day. Your matching smiles beaming on both your faces, almost as if they are lighting up the room.

You look back at him, standing here in your house. Bringing home dinner to you. Coming home to you.

Your breath catches in your throat, “It’s you Chris, it’s always going to be you.”

You watch him place down the food on the side, before he begins striding towards you. Stuck in your spot, you can’t do anything but smile at your husband as he reaches you.

“Forever yours”, you whisper before Chris’s lips crash onto yours for the first time in months. Your lips work together as your hands grip as his waist and his grasp your neck and face so you can’t move away. So you can only feel Chris, so you can truly remember the raw intimacy and passion between you.

As your lips melt together, it feels as monumental as the moment he kissed you as you became his wife. It feels as if your story is beginning again; with a fresh start and a new-found hope for your marriage.

♡

Forever Tags: @itsscottiesstark @patzammit @partypoison00 @cynic-spirit @n3ssm0nique @sohoseb @madbaddic7ed @moonlacebeam @ilovetheeagles @beautifulrose0809 @lovelyladymayyy @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mysticapples17 @whxre4cevans @firoozehmoon @spookyparadisesheep @mytbel0st @thatonelatina @snowy992 [Please drop me a message if you’d like to become part of the taglist for this series or any of my work]

#shattered heart mini series #healed heart #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans series #chris evans mini series #chris evans angst #chris evans x you #chris evans smut #rpf

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trashmenofmarvel · 4 years ago

Text

Branded - Chapter 34

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky head back to New York.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart . Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: Brief explicit sex, angst, mild anxiety attacks, fluff, dirty jokes

AO3

The shower was not, in fact, faster with the two of you in it.

It started off fine enough, with Bucky helping wash off the drying cum between your legs. Somehow, it escalated with you pressed chest first against the wall, moaning without shame against the tile. Bucky rubbed the tip of his cock between your folds, teasing you, making you beg for it until he pushed forward and slid all the way inside.

Bucky didn’t seem to have any kind of refractory period, and you didn’t either, so he fucked you right there against the wall. Your fingers were flat against the tile, his fingers intertwining with yours as he ground against you, the spray of water making everything wet and slippery and so much more obscene.

It didn’t last much longer than that. As soon as Bucky had one hand delved between your legs, padded finger carefully rubbing against your clit as the other gently cradled your throat, it was over. You came with a cry, knees buckling as your legs went weak. You would have fallen if Bucky hadn’t held you up, giving a strained groan as he spilled into you again.

This time, when he cleaned you, there was no danger of a fourth round. You could barely hold yourself up, leaning against Bucky for support as you floated on a blissful wave of tingly euphoria.

Bucky wasn’t nearly as content. He had that tight frown he wore when he was unhappy, usually at himself, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“I’m okay,” you mumbled into his shoulder. “Just… tired.”

“Because I drained you dry.”

“I’m anything but dry,” you said, giving the biggest shit-eating grin you could muster.

He sighed, gently scrubbing down the front of your thighs. You shivered appreciatively at the lovely attention.

“I got careless,” he muttered. “Should have stopped after the first time.”

“I’ll just nap on the way back.” You yawned involuntarily. Shit, maybe he had drained you a little too much. Oops. “You were gonna drive anyway, right? Just give me some carbs and I’ll be good as new.”

Bucky grunted but didn’t argue further, ending the argument with a kiss on top of your head. You could get used to resolving arguments this way.

After finishing cleaning up and toweling dry (or rather, Bucky toweled you dry while you hummed drunkenly against his chest), you headed downstairs for a quick breakfast. As suspected, you felt much better after scarfing down a bagel, a bowl of oatmeal, and a plate of pancakes and fruit. If being hungry and tired after sex was the biggest price you had to pay to have Bucky, you were more than willing.

Of course, it wasn’t the biggest price you had to pay, but you didn’t want to think about that whole situation. Being reminded of the fact that if you didn’t have sex with Bucky you’d die a terrible, painful death could really put a damper on your mood. It was a problem for another day, not for right now, when you had to focus on your last meal with the family and pretend you hadn’t just had your brains screwed out by a hot-ass demon.

Before you knew it, you were packed up and out the door, Monster’s carrier cradled in your arms as Bucky got the bags. Your aunt and uncle hugged you both, followed by you mom, squeezing you tightly before letting you go.

“Be safe on the drive. Text me when you get back. I’ll try calling you more, I miss talking to you, sweetie.”

“Me too, Mom,” you said, the guilt hurdling through your body like a ricocheting bullet. She had no idea the kind of danger and trauma you’d been through, and no matter what, you could never tell her. The least you could do was try to be better and contact her more often.

With a warm smile, your mom wrapped her arms around Bucky’s shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze.

“You take care now, Jacob. We loved having you over, so don’t be a stranger.”

“Thank you for having me, ma’am,” he said, flashing a dazzling smile once they pulled apart. “It was a pleasure.”

You mom shot you a knowing smile after Bucky turned around, and you had to fight to not bury your face in your hands. At least she hadn’t said something like ‘oh no, the pleasure’s all my daughter’s.’

Ugh. Family.

You loved coming back home again, but you were also ready to get back to the city. Back to your own place where you could have a bit more privacy. It also meant you had to think about what came next.

The dilemma seemed to weigh heavily on Bucky’s mind as well; after he pulled the car away from the icy curb, he was quiet, but the tension in his jaw spoke volumes. After you were out of the Boston suburbs and on the highway, slower than the speed limit to account for the icy roads, Bucky said, “You can take a nap if you want.”

“I’m okay for now. If you don’t mind the company, that is.”

“I always love having you around.”

And just like that, your face was on fire.

“Bucky.”

“And you’re so cute when you’re flustered, too.”

When you glanced over, sure enough, he was grinning with those perfect white teeth full on display. You wished you had a hoodie to hide in but you’d opted to wear a sweater instead, so you buried your face in your hands.

“You can’t just say things like that.”

“What? That I like spending time with you?” He huffed. “Anyone’s who’s too embarrassed to tell you that stuff doesn’t deserve you.”

Now you were burying your face in your hands and slinking down in the seat.

“Aww c’mon. Is it that bad? Being complimented?”

“I’m just… not used to it, that’s all.”

There was a sudden warm weight on top of your head, fingers moved through your hair, and you instantly melted. Being petted by a demon probably shouldn’t have been so relaxing, but you leaned into his touch and lowered your hands into your lap.

“You really like that?” he asked with a tinge of amusement.

You made a mmhmm sound and closed your eyes, warm and safe. You didn’t want this trip to end, not knowing what came next, but maybe things would be all right.

Maybe because you felt so cozy and content you lost a bit of your filter. Or maybe Bucky’s fingers on your scalp coupled with the lack of sleep made you more open. For whatever reason, you broached the subject you’d both been avoiding since last night.

“It wasn’t that bad, you know,” you mumbled. “Being in that place with you.”

His hand stopped moving. No, you didn’t like that, keep petting me, damn it. But he didn’t, and when he pulled away entirely you nearly whined. It pulled you out of your stupor at least, and Bucky’s tense expression as he stared out the windshield made you regret saying anything at all.

But you had, and it was too late to take it back, so you pressed on.

“Really, it… it felt like a lifetime when I was there, but now it’s just like… a dream. Or fuzzy, like childhood memories. I don’t know how to explain it.”

The only sound between you were tires on the icy road, the hum of the heater, and the windshield wipers thumping back and forth at a regular rhythm.

“You had it worse,” you blurted. Oh, why had you brought it up? You should have at least waited until you got back to the city, not when you were trapped in a car together. “You had to actually live all that stuff.”

“You lived it too.” He was almost too quiet to hear. “You did.”

That was all he said, at least for so long you thought the conversation was officially over. You stared out the passenger window, watching the flakes pound against the glass, when Bucky asked:

“What was it like? Being inside someone’s head?”

Even though his tone was carefully blank, it was a curious question, and you were happy to answer it if it got him talking.

“Kind of… weird? But I got used to it pretty fast. Sometimes I could zone out and not really pay attention to what you were doing. So I could… you know, give you privacy.” Your face grew warmer and you didn’t dare look at him. “And other times, I could be very present and felt what you were feeling. It really wasn’t that bad. Especially when… uh…when I kept you warm, and stuff.”

Yep, your face was on fire again, but it made it all worth it when he gave an amused snort.

“I never did thank you for that. I’m pretty sure I would have froze to death otherwise. And I didn’t even know who you were, or what you were, and I wanted to…”

Wanted to what?

He never said, because the conversation truly died there, and you didn’t have the heart to revive it. Not with the mournful look on his face as he drove.

You propped your arm up on the window and made a pillow out of it, hoping if you took a nap you might be more clear-headed, and if not that, at least you could leave Bucky alone with his thoughts. Worried you’d pushed him too far and too fast, you didn’t think you’d fall asleep, but the thrum of the car engine lulled you into a doze. When next you opened your eyes, the car was stopped, pulled up to a pump at a gas station. The car was still on, the heater keeping the car comfortably warm, but Bucky was nowhere in sight.

Panic shot through you like a thunderbolt, and you shoved open the door, holding on to it as you frantically searched the parking lot. There were people around so you didn’t start yelling for Bucky like a crazy person, but your heart was beating against your ribcage like a trapped animal.

Where could Bucky have gone? Did someone capture him? You didn’t believe he would have left on his own, no way, not after… not after everything that had happened the past few days.

He wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t—

“Sweetheart?”

You spun around so hard you nearly lost your footing, but you grabbed the roof of the car and regained your balance. Bucky still gripped you by the shoulder, concern creasing his brows.

“Are you all right? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing. I just saw you were gone and got worried, that’s all.” And now you also felt like the world’s biggest idiot, or at least the world’s clingiest person.

Bucky released his breath and dropped his hand.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

“I scared you?” You were pretty sure your heart was still beating a mile a minute, and you were definitely still out of breath. “What do you mean I scared you?”

“I was inside paying for gas, and next thing I feel is your terror—I thought someone had attacked you.”

“That’s what I thought had happened to you!”

Bucky sighed and pushed the hair back from his face with a gloved hand, and then gave you an exasperated but fond look.

“You think we’re being a little co-dependent?” you asked, sheepish.

“Sweetheart.” His unfairly sexy mouth quirked as he rolled his eyes. “We’re literally bound by demon magic.”

“Oh. Yeah, good point.”

He kissed you on the top of your head and instantly the tension leeched from your body. Bucky really could play your body like an instrument, couldn’t he.

“Well, now that you’re back,” you said with a wince, “I gotta go pee. And maybe pick up some snacks, I’m still really hungry.”

“That’ll be from the, uh… multiple feedings.” His smile vanished, replaced by concern. “Do you want me to—I should come with you?”

“I think only one of us should be subjected to the horrors of gas station restrooms. Plus, someone needs to stay and watch the child.”

Bucky blinked in confusion and then grimaced. You shook your finger at him.

“Monster is baby, and you keep an eye on him. I’ll be right back,” you added when he switched back into worry-mode. “If I’m in danger, sounds like you’ll know it, yes?”

Bucky grumbled an affirmative, and you turned away. Paused. Turned back around and walked up to him. His eyes widened as you planted a kiss on his cheek, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t intensely pleased with yourself for his reaction.

After you braved the disgusting bathroom and picked up a couple snacks demanded by your rumbling stomach, you paused in front of a humming machine. You stared at the swirling glass in front of you, lost in the memory of a red-washed dune.

You snapped out of it, set down your snacks, and grabbed two huge plastic cups to fill.

By the time you returned outside, the car was fueled and Bucky was leaning against the side with his arms crossed over his chest. To an outsider he would appear calm, but tightness of his shoulders and the fraught lines of his face told you a different story.

Bucky took the overfilling snacks from your arms to your gratitude. He raised an eyebrow at the sheer volume of them, and you shrugged.

“I was hungry. You’re welcome to my snacks, too. Oh, and… I got this for you.”

You held out one of the Big Gulps. The plastic was a solid blue and red, so Bucky couldn’t see what was inside until he looked down the transparent domed lid.

He stared at it. And stared. It was cold enough to snow, and you were sweating.

“I know it’s not… not blueberry-flavored. They don’t really do that anymore, use real ingredients for this kind of junk. But it is blue, and it’s an Icee, so I figured…” Your voice trailed off. Bucky continued to stare.

And then his eyes started to water.

“Oh, no,” you whispered, horrified. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I didn’t mean to—“

Bucky pulled you into a tight embrace. Right there, in the gas station, for all to see.

“I’m the one who’s sorry.” One arm across the back of your shoulders and the other around your waist, he squeezed you, holding you tightly to his chest. “I’m so, so sorry. I don’t understand why it happened. How you got stuck in the demon realm place with me. I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t… I didn’t know… I should have known, but I didn’t, and I’m so sorry.”

“Bucky…” You melted into his hold, kept warm from the biting temperatures. But it didn’t protect you from your guilt of hiding the truth. It wasn’t Bucky’s fault what had happened. You were responsible, even if it had been an accident, but you were too afraid to tell him what the Ancient One had said. You had no idea how he would react, and you wanted to get back to the city before dropping that bomb on him.

“Please don’t apologize,” you said, muffled by his jacket. “I’m fine. It wasn’t that bad on my end. Like I told you, it was kind of like a dream. It’s already faded a little.”

Which was true. Somewhat. There were a few moments that would stick with you for the rest of your life, like the mummified corpse with the sigil on its shoulder. You had no doubt it was a human enslaved to a demon, but what you didn’t know was how they had ended up on that world. It would be the subject of more nightmares, that was for sure.

Not to mention the whole watching Bucky die in front of you thing, but if you thought about that for even a moment you’d probably have a nervous breakdown. The only thing that kept it at bay was the constant reminder that Bucky was alive and well.

All in all, you were coping fairly well, and if anything, you were more worried about Bucky. He’d actually been there physically while you’d only experienced the time-loop through him.

Or… that was your guess, anyway. Who knew how these things worked? Hopefully, the wizards.

“I’m still sorry you had to go through all of that,” he said, warm breath tickling your hair. “If I’d known that was going to happen, I never would have tried to show you those memories.”

You couldn’t reach your arms around him, protectively holding your Icee so he wouldn’t crush it, so you leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“We’re both here and we’re both okay,” you said, “so that’s what I’m going to focus on.”

Bucky had an odd expression. It was part wistful, sad, and something else. You couldn’t figure out what it was before he gave a defeated smile.

“All right, all right.”

“I’m serious, Barnes.” You prodded his chest playfully. “You’ve seen my family. One demon isn’t going to intimidate me. We’ll figure out what happened with the memories, but you are not allowed to blame yourself. I forbid it.”

The strange, sad look vanished, and Bucky released you with one arm, the other kept around your waist. Your skin tingled at the casual touch. Would you ever get used to this?

Bucky stared down at the slushy in suspicion, then he took a cautious sip of the straw and grimaced.

“Jesus. What’s it with people these days and sugar? You tryin’ to give kids diabetes?”

“Oh, my God,” you groaned, and grabbed your snacks. Bucky wasn’t going to get any if he was going to complain about your junk food choices.

“What? It’s a serious question,” he continued as you both got into the car. “It won’t do anything to me, but what about your poor liver?”

“I’m pretty sure my liver is glowing with vitality after all the demon sex I’ve had.”

It took a beat for him to respond. You could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“That.” He turned his head very slowly, and peered at you. “Is not how it works.”

You grinned and slouched back in your seat, sticking your straw in your mouth and slurping as obnoxiously as possible. Bucky shook his head before putting the car into gear, the softness of his smile fading too quickly, and the faint sadness you didn’t like returned.

Next Chapter

#branded #demon!bucky barnes #demon!bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #my fanfiction #my writing

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kat-tamin · 4 years ago

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i’m here in your doorway

@sammymae12 requested a confession of feelings between Kat and Olivia’sDaughter!Reader

Ship: Kat x Reader, references to past Bensler

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1396

Title from: this is me trying by Taylor Swift

Your hands clenched together, your heart dropping to your stomach. You tapped your phone screen so it couldn’t go to sleep. You were staring at an Instagram story, posted three hours earlier. You hit the left side of the screen to replay it.

Your best friend had a boomerang of her kissing the cheek of one of your new friends, Kat Tamin. Kiss, smile, kiss, smile.

You couldn’t believe what you’re seeing. You had met Kat through your mom and later introduced her to Vi. Your mom quickly began to call you the Three Musketeers, always joined at the hip.

Except for today, apparently. You had spent the day home alone and your friends had gone out without you.

You replayed the story again. Were they on a date? Vi had once said Kat wasn’t her type, but she could’ve been lying. And Kat…

A lump formed in your throat.

You had basically loved Kat since the moment you met at your mom’s work. It was like lightning struck. There she is. That’s the one.

A sudden wetness on your cheek surprised you, the tears rolling without notice.

An ache for one of your mom’s hugs struck you, and you were on your feet and out the door in seconds.

It was late at night, but you knew your mom would be up. She liked to spend a couple of hours alone after she put Noah to bed.

You waited a beat for her to answer, shifting impatiently from foot to foot.

The door swung open, your mom appearing in frame. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You rocketed into her arms, sobbing in loud gasps.

She petted the top of your head, whispering into your hair: “It’s okay, you’re okay. I got you.”

You finally disentangle from her, tears subsiding. “I think I screwed up, Mom.”

“Come in.”

You follow her to the living room, and fling yourself face first on her sofa. You heard your mom filling a kettle with water in the kitchen. You flip onto your back, wincing as one of Noah’s toys stabbed you in the side.

“So?” Olivia came back a few minutes later, handing you a mug of tea.

You sat up, letting the aromatic steam soothe you. Staring at your mom sitting beside you, you suddenly felt very stupid. You were almost 30 years old and you were crying to your mom about how your crush was out with someone else. You were pretty sure you almost had this exact same conversation when you were fifteen.

“It’s probably nothing,” you say, looking down into your drink.

“You’re clearly upset. It’s not nothing.” She placed a hand on your knee, thumb rubbing you in comforting circles.

“I think Kat and Vi are dating or something.” Tears began to form in your eyes again.

“Oh, baby.” Olivia put down her tea, and wrapped her arms around you, letting you cry into her shoulder.

“I waited too long,” you sob. “It’s too late.”

“For Vi?”

You sit back. “No, not Vi. Kat.”

Your mother’s brown eyes widened in surprise. “You and Kat?”

You sniffle. “I think I’m in love with her.”

“Wow.” Olivia took a sip of her tea. “I had no idea.”

“Basically since you introduced us,” you admit.

“Well, you know what you need to do, then.” Olivia sandwiched your hand between hers. “You need to tell her before her and Vi get too far.”

“But…” You swallow hard, thoughts racing. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Listen to me, Y/N.” Your mom straightened her spine, closing her eyes briefly. “There was someone I loved, a long time ago. He was married, so I never told him.” She squeezed your hand tightly. “I have to live with that everyday, with what could have been. Rejection is terrible, I won’t lie. But regret?” She shook her head, her eyes faraway in memory. “Regret is so much worse.”

The weight of your mother’s words press down on you. You knew exactly who she was talking about, and you knew how much your mother still pined after him, all these years later.

That wouldn’t be you.

“Thank you, Mom.” You kiss her cheek, standing up. “I think I need to go see her.”

“That’s my girl.” Olivia grinned. “And if she doesn’t like you back, I’ll just fire her.”

“Mom!”

___

The whole cab ride to her apartment you rehearsed what you were going to say to Kat. You just prayed that you could keep the tears at bay long enough to spit it out.

Luckily, someone was exiting Kat’s building just as you arrived. You knew she was home from her Instagram post of her late night take out.

You took the stairs two at a time to her apartment, too full of adrenaline to wait for the elevator. You knocked on her door, quick and loud.

As you waited for her to answer, you took slow deep breaths, trying to slow down your anxiety.

The door swung open, Kat’s mouth open in surprise. “Y/N! What’s up?”

The sight of her left you speechless. Her hair was tied back in a braid, and she wore grey sweatpants that showed off her toned stomach.

She was so damn beautiful.

“I- I.” Your mouth opened and closed, words not appearing.

Kat arched an eyebrow. “Would you like to come in?”

“Yes.” You nod, and she lets you in. You brush past her, nerves alighting in her presence.

You sit down on her couch, the sight of many nights in with her. You had laughed and cried on this couch, you remember as you run your fingers along its fabric.

“So…” Kat plops down beside you. “What’s up?” she asks again.

You lick your lips nervously, your mouth dry. “Did you and Vi have a good time today?” you blurt out.

“Oh!” Kat pushed a stray hair behind her ear. “I guess. We just ran into each other at the coffee place and then went and got groceries together.”

“Oh.” Your cheeks heated up, and you let out a sigh of relief. They weren’t on a date. That was one hurdle done. “I need to tell you something.”

“Sure.” Kat moves to face you, crossing her legs, knees touching your thigh. “What’s on your mind?”

Your eyes dart around the room. Your rehearsed speech was gone, and panic was beginning to creep in. For a second, you thought about chickening out, but your mom’s words echoed through your mind.

You close your eyes, and let out a long deep breath. “Kat… I think I’m a little in love with you.”

The silence was deafening. You screwed your eyes tighter, refusing to look at Kat’s face.

“Y/N...”

You shake your head, trying to keep tears from forming behind your closed lids.

“Y/N.”

You open one eye slowly, peeking at her. Her face was refusing to show any emotions. Your heart sank.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“I’m glad you did.”

Your eyes open fully. “What do you mean?”

Kat’s face broke into a smile. “I think I might be a little in love with you too.”

You blink once. Then twice. “What?”

Kat reaches for your hand, threading your fingers together. “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since we met.”

“You have?” You scoot closer to her, brain running wild.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to go after the Captain’s daughter. I was scared it would cause problems with Olivia.” Kat scrunched her nose. “Sorry, that’s not a good excuse. I was also very, very scared of wrecking our friendship if you didn’t like me back.”

“I do.” You finally smile, your body feeling light without the burden of your secret. “I really, really do.”

Kat leans towards you and time stops.

You had had thought about what kissing Kat would be like, but your imagination never could capture the magnetic way your lips crashed into each other, months of anticipation finally coming to a head.

Your lips meet in a perfect heart-stopping kiss. Her soft lips sent electricity down your body, making your toes curl. All your panic and anxiety disappeared, replaced with pure happiness.

The lightning you felt when you had met Kat appeared once again, striking again and again with every breath, every touch, every heartbeat.

You loved her. And she loved you.

#kat tamin #katriona tamin #kat x reader #kat tamin fanfic #fanfic #svu #olivia benson #i'm here tag #*

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raeynbowboi · 4 years ago

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Bob’s Burgers 10th Anniversary Retrospective

After ten years, Bob, Linda, and the Kids are just as delightfully wacky and endearing as they ever were, and show no signs of slowing down. So I wanted to put together an ultra mega review of the series. I’ll give an opinion on main and recurring characters, as with a cast this big, there’s been a lot of endearing characters to grace the show over the years. However, I will only be counting characters that have appeared more than once. After ten years, there’s been some real gems, and some real misfires. So, I’ll be counting down my top 10 best episodes, and the bottom 10 worst episodes. I’ll also go through as a Highlight Reel, by picking a best and worst episode of each season, as well as crowning the Best Season with the most good episodes.

Bob Belcher

Honestly, Bob was a very easy character to mess up. He’s the straight man to his wacky family’s antics. But the show does a really great job making Bob simple and lowkey without making him boring or a stick in the mud. He may be resistant to weird things, but he puts up with it anyway to make his family happy. While he’s the serious straight man, they don’t fail to give Bob his own eccentricities and quirks that make him relatable and funny in his own way. Whether he’s making things talk, getting weirdly excited about Thanksgiving, or his awkward way of speaking, Bob is genuinely a good and relatable character. It’s also nice to see that Bob is a great husband and a loving father. He and Linda argue from time to time, but they’re not trapped in a loveless marriage for the kid’s sake like most shows. And even shows where that’s not a selling point like American Dad, Bob shows more remorse for things like forgetting their anniversary than Stan does for Francine. Bob is supportive, loving, and forgiving. Which is just amazing to watch. The times when his kids really need him, he’s there for them, and he helps them through their problems. While Bob might fight with and get mad with or annoyed by his family, Bob never treats them like people he’s stuck with. Frankly, Bob blows most animated TV dads out of the water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stan or Francine give quiet supportive talks to Steve or Hayley ever in American Dad. Peter used to at least try to be a decent father, but now is a negligent toddler. Likewise, Homer used to be a great father who cared about his kids, but later seasons have really stepped away from the family angle the Simpsons used to have. In a sea of adult animated families that are toxic and destructive, Bob’s genuine love for his family came as a breath of fresh air.

Linda Belcher

Linda is by far the best Adult Animation TV mom there is. For one thing, she’s funnier than Francine, Lois, and Marge combined. But more importantly, she’s not the butt of the joke when it happens. I can only really remember laughing at Francine when they make dumb blonde jokes with her, but Linda’s jokes come from her character. She could have easily been the gender inverted Homer or Peter, but the writers are careful to make her gullible, trusting, and goofy without making her a moron. When the kids do something wrong, Linda busts out the tough mom act and you genuinely believe that the kids are in trouble. She’s not faking it. She’s not off in her own little world. She’s a bit of a goofy dreamer, but she’s able to be the tough disciplinarian when she needs to be. Her relationship with Bob is also better than most adult animation wives. She’s more independent than the other housewives, and even though her job is working with her husband, it never feels like it robs Linda of her own power, autonomy, and freedom. But the best thing about Linda is that I think most people can agree, she has an extremely strong and charming personality that endears us to her.

Tina Belcher

I really wish I could say I liked Tina more. She’s a creative romantic, just like me. I should love her. But her monotone deliveries and awkwardness isn’t as endearing as Bob’s. I like her better in episodes like Teen-A Witch and Broadcast Wagstaff School News where she has a bit stronger of a personality. But unfortunately, Tina is my least favorite member of the Belcher family, which isn’t to say that I hate her, she just doesn’t shine as bright as the rest of her family. She’s just not very funny or interesting on her own. But on the plus side, at least I don’t find Tina to be annoying or terrible except in the rare bad episode.

Gene Belcher

Gene is the only member of the family that can regularly get my dad to laugh, and with good reason. If he wasn’t such a well of nonsequitor punchlines, Gene would probably be the worst member of the family, but boy howdy do those random jokes pick up the slack. Gene is genuinely hilarious, even if I’d only rank him above Tina in terms of favoritism. However, I find that most Gene-centric episodes to be lackluster or below average. I think Gene’s best episode is probably Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien, but of the best episodes, none really come to mind that specifically star Gene. Gene is really better suited for a supporting role, and his times as the star showcase why comic reliefs aren’t the main character. They’re support characters for a reason. That’s not to say Gene-centric episodes are terrible. They just tend to range from about average to bad. Though Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien is a pretty good one.

Louise Belcher

Bob and Linda saved the best for last because Louise is the breakout star of the show. Funny, interesting, and the focus of many of the better episodes, Louise stands proudly on the first place podium with Linda in 2nd and Bob taking 3rd place. I think Louise’s strengths are especially due to her standoffish and naughty personality, which has lent itself to a lot of good character growth episodes. Season 10 Louise seems a lot more mature than Season 1 Louise. I think Louise works because while she does often have clever or sneaky solutions to problems, they don’t forget that she’s 9, so unlike Stewie, her age does present hurdles and barriers to her schemes and plans.

The Best and Worst of Bob’s Burgers

#10 WORST: Pro-Tiki/Con-Tiki (S6e15)

Why couldn’t Warren Fitzgerald just put that $100,000 into advertisements or to help Bob buy better equipment for his restaurant? My biggest issue with this episode isn’t the episode itself, it’s that the ending makes no sense. Warren wants to help Bob because he has a form of riches Warren lacks, and Bob doesn’t want a corporate sponsor to make changes to his brand. But why can’t Warren just give Bob the money to make choices he wants to make? They could stay as business partners, but Bob doesn’t have to sacrifice his personal vision for the restaurant. It’s just really frustrating when they’re both being too stupid and stubborn to see the obvious solution in front of their faces.

#10 BEST: Teen-a Witch (S7e03)

One of Tina’s best episodes, as someone who had a goth phase myself and dabbled a tiny amount in ‘witchcraft’, this episode brings back memories of high school and the desire to make the world what I wanted it to be. But on top of that, Tina with a backbone is when she really shines as a character, mostly because it means her humor isn’t being derived from her being awkward.

#9 WORST: Live and Let Fly (S9e05)

Mr. Frond embarrasses the kids, and they team up with Up-Skirt Kurt to get revenge against his sister and Mr. Frond. I’m not a fan of Kurt, so I already don’t care much about his feud with his sister, but I also just find the episode kind of boring. I don’t care about Kurt, I don’t care about his feud, and the kids call off their revenge, so that ends up not mattering either. Even Bob and Linda’s side plot is only middle-of-the-road quality for Bob’s Burgers.

#9 BEST: Wharf Horse/World Wharf II (S4e21-22)

The very first two-part episode Bob’s Burgers ever had, the season 4 finale is a great watching experience. It has some fun songs, funny character exchanges, suspenseful drama, and some heartfelt moments. It feels like a short movie, and that’s a good thing for a two-part episode to do. Even Fanny and Felix are interesting villains. But even after everything Felix did, I don’t find myself loathing him in later episodes, and that’s a hard thing to accomplish.

#8 WORST: Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks (S3e07)

This is the only bad Tina episode where the problem isn’t Tina herself. My biggest issue with this episode is more just the subject matter. Bob lies for insurance reasons about who was driving his car, and the entire episode is just Bob and Tina digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves. The solution to the issue is clever enough to redeem the episode somewhat, but the majority of the watching experience is just kind of an awkward dance of watching these two getting tangled up in a web of lies.

#8 BEST: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three (S9e02)

Bar none, this is the single best ‘Heist’ episode of Bob’s Burgers, and it’s kind of crazy that Bob’s Burgers has actually built a repertoire to where I can make a list of ‘heist’ episodes as an archetype. This one feels the most like an actual heist movie, and the ending is legitimately clever and unexpected. But even more than that, if you’re paying attention, you can see the twist before the characters even reveal it. That is the kind of tight writing that makes the list for best episodes.

#7 WORST: A Fish Called Tina (S10e12)

Tina spends an episode trying way too hard to make someone like her, to the point that she almost humiliates a 4th grader in public just so she can live out some fantasy. It’s really uncomfortable and sickening to watch Tina do this. This will be a recurring issue with Tina’s low-point episodes. There’s nothing fun about watching a character make a complete idiot out of themselves by coming on too strong. It even makes me groan when Kaylie shows up in another Season 10 episode because I don’t want to have to think about this awful episode.

#7 BEST: Stand By Gene (S6e12)

Something about this episode really just brings back memories of my childhood. Memories of walking through the outdoors, just exploring and wanting to find things. The characters are funny, and Bob and Linda’s relationship is put to the test. Plus, I loved that for the entire episode, you don’t know how it’ll end. It really makes this a personal favorite and one of the episodes I knew had to make it on my list.

#6 WORST: The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel (S7e13)

Linda ruins things for Tina by being an overbearing annoyance. Are you noticing a trend with Bob’s Burgers’ worst episodes? I don’t like it when good characters make complete jackasses out of themselves in the name of ‘humor’. It’s not funny. It’s annoying and makes me dislike them. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the latter half of the 2nd act and the entire third act, but Linda’s behavior just makes me cringe and ask why they had to do Linda dirty like this? It just puts me even more squarely on the side that Tina is entirely in the right and I don’t want to deal with Lind either.

#6 BEST: Broadcast Wagstaff School News (S3e12)

From Tina at her lowest point to Tina at her best, Broadcast Wagstaff School News is my favorite episode of the first 5 seasons. Tina’s funny and engaging, Gene is absolutely shining as Little Bob, and while Louise and Linda play supporting roles in this episode, they’re still funny as well. Plus, the mystery is a good one, and this episode is even referenced in later seasons.

#5 WORST: Mazel-Tina (S4e13)

Tina ruins Tammy’s birthday and steals her party. This is Tina at rock bottom. Tina is so despicable, cruel, and selfish in this episode that it reminds me that behind that creative awkward girl is a selfish brat who doesn’t care if she hurts other people if she can live out her fantasies. If other episodes didn’t rescue Tina from being so unlikable, I probably would hate Tina as a character entirely for her behavior in this episode.

#5 BEST: The Silence of the Louise (S8e02)

Movie parodies are some of the best, and The Silence of the Louise is the queen of all the movie parodies. When Mr. Frond’s therapy dolls are mutilated, and the school staff calls off the waterpark trip until the culprit is caught, Louise teams up with psycho Millie to figure out whodunnit. This is also one of the first time Millie wasn’t strictly an antagonist, and she genuinely felt like someone who could be Louise’s friend someday.

#4 WORST: Boywatch (S8e16)

Tina ruins things for other people by coming on too strong. The only reason this is ranked higher than Mozel-Tina is because in that episode, she just wanted to be at the party, and just kind of ended up as the star of the party and let it go to her head, whereas here, she is actively ruining things for other people in pursuit of her own delusions and fantasies. Tina has no desire to be a junior lifeguard, but cute boys causes her to behave like a troublemaker. She’s entirely out of character, and her teammates’ hate for her behavior is something I agree with. I don’t want to hate the main characters, so why does this show keep pushing to make Tina a nuisance who ruins experiences for other people?

#4 BEST: The Quirkducers (S7e06)

If the Silence of the Louise is the queen of film parodies, then The Quirkducers is the king. Not only is it a clever parody of The Producers, but it also has some damn good musical numbers, especially the edited end credit version. But it’s Tina’s song at the end that stands as one of my favorites of all Bob’s Burgers’ songs.

#3 WORST: Bed & Breakfast (S1e07)

If a Fish Called Tina is bad, then Bed & Breakfast is flaming garbage. Linda turns their apartment into a Bed and Breakfast, and Linda goes berserk when the guests don’t play into her expectations. This episode verges from below average to detestable as Linda goes insane and locks people in their rooms, and Louise drives a grown man to attack workers by preying on his fear.

#3 BEST: The Hauntening (S6e03)

This is hands-down the best Halloween episode that Bob’s Burgers ever made. This show turns out some amazing holiday episodes, and this is one of the best the Belchers have to offer. I won’t dare give away anything about this episode. If you’ve seen it, you know why it’s top of the heap, and if you haven’t, then all I can say is what are you waiting for? Delayed gratification has to pay off eventually.

#2 WORST: Every Which Way But Goose (S9e14)

Tina falls in love with a goose. Who smoked crack before writing this episode, and who huffed enough paint thinner to approve this episode for production? This is the absolute dumbest concept for an episode I have ever come across. Who thought this was a good idea? I can’t even pinpoint the flaws because this entire episode is just so flawed. At least Mazel-Tina and Boywatch enrage me. This just baffles me.

#2 BEST: A Few Gurt Men (S7e11)

When Mr. Ambrose accuses Mr. Frond of stealing his yogurt from the faculty lounge, the case is brought before student court, and Louise is tasked with acting as Defense Council for Mr. Frond. One thing Bob’s Burgers does well is mysteries, and this is a good one as Louise has to figure out a way to prove Frond’s innocence. This is just an absolute personal favorite. Every character is just on point, and I get excited when the episode starts to que up.

#1 WORST: Moody Foodie (S2e07)

Did you ever want to watch the Belchers commit a felony? Then boy howdy do I have an episode for you! A picky food critic responsible for shutting down restaurants comes to Bob’s Burgers. Bob messes up the order, and a visit to the critic’s house to get him to try his burger again leads to a hostage situation with the critic tied to a chair and gagged in his own home. Words cannot describe the depth to which I hate this episode. The entire episode feels dirty and vile. I feel the need to scrub my skin raw after sitting through this episode. The instant I realize that it’s come on, I skip the the next one. I have literally only sat through this episode once. This episode disgusts me. This episode has the main character, abduct somebody in their own home. Then they take a second hostage when a mailman delivers the guy’s package. Luckily, Bob’s Burgers has a lot of good episodes to make up for this one bad egg, but this episode enrages me to the point that if the family wasn’t so charming and endearing most of the time, I might have stopped watching based just on this one episode.

#1 BEST: The Bleakening: Part 1 & 2 (S8e06-07)

The first time I saw these episodes, they played back to back without any credits in between them, and I thought it was one episode, and I didn’t even realize it was the length of two episodes. Between the amazing songs, the brain bending twists, the creative creature, the dark elements that contrast the bright lights of the holidays, and the uplifting ending, this pair of episodes stands paramount as the single greatest viewing experience that Bob’s Burgers has to offer.

Favorite Friend of the Kids: Regular-Sized Rudy

First appearing in Carpe Museum, Rudy came back in The Kids Rob a Train, where he has remained a friend of the kids since. Rudy was the first to join the kids if you don’t count Andy and Ollie who seem to dip in and back out as to whether they’re included in the friend group. Rudy was thus the first to be made a main member of the kids’ friend group.

Favorite Schoolyard Seven: Jocelyn

The Schoolyard Seven is the friend group of the three Belchers, Jimmy Jr., Zeke, Tammy, and Jocelyn. Not counting the Belchers, it was a close call between Zeke and Jocelyn. Tammy and Jimmy Jr. tend to be typecast as serving one niche thing, but Zeke and Jocelyn are often the comedic gold. However, while Zeke is more interesting of the two, I just enjoy Jocelyn too much to not give her the win. Even if Jocelyn’s humor is just a walking dumb blonde trope, like Gene, Jocelyn has a knack for funny one-liners. If the groups has another name, I’m not privy to it.

Favorite Friend of the Family: Micky

Though he’s less connected to the family now, Micky has been a friend to the Belchers since Bob Day Afternoon, and returning in Bob Fires the Kids. Since his introduction, Micky has gotten a job at Wonder Wharf, where he has remained since.

Favorite Recurring Villain: Logan Bush

First appearing in Ears-y Rider, Logan has been a fun and interesting frenemy for Louise to match wits with. In a show where most other villains are the same age as the main characters (Millie, Tammy, Chloe, Jimmy Pesto, Hugo) Logan stands out as a legitimate bully. Yet, even he was willing to work with Louise in Mother-Daughter Laser Razor, showing that there is wiggle room for the two of them to even join forces and spread havoc together.

Favorite Tina Love Interest: Duncan

Earnest if not a little awkward, Duncan seems like a sweet boy for Tina to possibly end up with. Sasha Whiteman is another character I could easily see being a good boyfriend to Tina because his quick wit and social graces make him a great foil to Tina, and he excels where Tina falls short. Zeke has a good chance to be a good boyfriend, but Tina still spits his name when she greets him, so I doubt she’d take interest in him unless something happens to change their dynamic. I liked Josh, but now that he’s said he doesn’t like her anymore and she agreed that she feels the same, I doubt we’re going to see them date further in the future.

Favorite Side Character: Nat Kinkle the Limo Driver

First appearing in Season 8 episode 8 V for Valentine-detta, I must not be the only fan of Nat’s because she made two appearances in the 10th season, in episode 1 The Ring (But Not Scary) and episode 17 Just the Trip. Currently with only 3 appearances, she’s still only a side character, but I get the feeling that like with Rudy, Courtney, Darrel and Alex before her, Nat will keep becoming a more frequent character. She just has a great vibe, and her charisma is intoxicating. She meshes great with the family, making her an absolute delight to watch.

Favorite Bit Character: Marshmallow

Although she’s appeared in multiple episodes since her introduction in Sheesh, Cab Bob, Marshmallow has never gotten much more than a couple lines, with her biggest role being in The Bleakening where she had more to say. She was also the first major LGBT+ recurring character on the show, which also made her a joy to see, whenever she returned to Bob’s Burgers.

Favorite Headcanon: Gene is Genderfluid

Gene’s jokes have been centered on his gender or sexuality since the first season finale. A joke once in a while is one thing, but ten years of the same sorts of jokes tells the sharp viewer that there’s more to it than just a running gag. With how many jokes have Gene talk about having boobs, synching his cycle, or calling himself Tina and Louise’s sister or Bob and Linda’s daughter, it’s my opinion that Gene is genderfluid, or possibly even transgender. The only reason I say genderfluid over a transgirl is because he still also addresses himself as a boy or a man as much as he does girl jokes.

Best Song: Twinkly Lights (Ms. XXX-Mas)

Not only does Toddrick Hall absolutely kill this performance, but I also love the meaning of the song about POC inclusivity and pride in the LGBT+ community. As the final song in The Bleakening, it’s one hell of a closing number, and I can’t help but dance in my seat whenever it plays. I’ve even listened to it independent from watching the show, and honor I don’t bestow on every song.

Best Episode Archetypes:

The Best Heist: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three

The Belcher kids have stolen a number of things. Chocolate, a bounce house, but the absolute creme de la creme of their heists is the procuring of the Dunebuggy from Family Funtime. When Family Funtime unplugs the macchines whenver the kids get too many tickets from them, the kids decide to pull off the heist of a century to make off with the biggest prize of the arcade: the dune buggy.

The Kids Tell An Anthology: Moms, Lies, and Videotapes

From the Gayle Tales to The Handyman Can, the kids have told a number of anthology stories, but the most impressive of the bunch is their stories of the mother’s day plays into three interesting stories. Though true to form, Gene’s is the weakest of the three, as his usually are. I don’t recall any time when his anthology was the best of the kids’, but then, Gene is not the most creative of the three children. His best story is probably in The Frond Files where his story’s world is colorful and fun to observe.

Best Musical Episode: The Bleakening

Not only do these episodes have a lot of musical numbers, but there is not a single one that doesn’t hit a home run. But more importantly, the entire episode is a musical, with each number helping to tie and bridge together the narrative, which is the entire purpose of musical numbers in a proper musical, which makes this the single best musical episode mainly because it’s the only episode that’s a true blue musical.

Best Holiday Episode: The Hauntening

With The Bleakening already taking the top spot for musical episodes, that leaves the Miss Congeniality of the holiday episodes to take the crown. I didn’t spoil anything about this episode above, and I won’t say a thing about it now. This episode is solid gold.

Best Film Parody: The Quirkducers

Not only is this episode clever in the way it uses its source material, but the family all have moments to shine despite the stars being Louise and Gene. The show also makes good use of the Schoolhouse Seven (the main group of the Belcher Kids, Jimmy and Zeke, and Tammy and Jocelyn), and each of them brings something great to the episode. It undoubtedly earned its place in the top 10, and will likely hold its place for years to come.

#bobs burgers #Bob's Burgers #belchers #the belchers #bob belcher #Linda Belcher #gene belcher #tina belcher #louise belcher #seymores bay

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alaraxia · 4 years ago

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Process Breakdown: Starfall

Since I got some positive responses to my question on process stuff I’m gonna do a behind the scenes breakdown for my most recent piece to help people see the process I use and how I problem solve. I didn’t plan to do this initially so I won’t have a ton of process shots but I did save a handful. There’s a few scattered hyperlinks to other pieces I reference too. Just a warning this is mostly train of thought so it’s super verbose.

So base sketches were mostly focused around me defining the shape of the girl since she was the focal point and building the environment around her. Going in the things I knew I wanted were a girl precariously balanced on top of a massive capybara catching a falling star, while surrounded by smaller sleeping capybaras on rocks. I layered out a general forest scene surrounding it but didn’t really commit to much in the sketches. Messed with the angles of the large capybara a few times to make it feel less flat and more 3D in the space, used a lot of reference photos of capybaras and sorta simplified them to what I thought was cute/ what stood out to me as their defining features.

Skipping ahead a solid amount is midway through the initial lineart, with some areas just colored in to define them as separate. Initially this piece was supposed to be in a similar style as my “Stratosphere Dreaming” art, with a single uniform line thickness, bright colors, and no gradient shading at all, but I realized pretty soon after I finished the lineart and started coloring that I had done what I tend to do a lot and made it too complex to pull off successfully in that style so I had to pivot to using gradient shading and other non-cell style techniques (though you can see a lot of those methods still in the coloring of the girl). This caused an even bigger challenge as I was drawing on a large canvas with high DPI in Procreate which resulted in me having a cumulative 50 layers to work with at any given time (hell).

Now once I made that rendering style pivot is when the really hard part began, and why on top of my persistent arm injuries this took me about two months to finally finish.

1.) I had an extremely difficult time trying to figure out the color pallet for the piece. I had an idea of the values and general colors I wanted (you can see some pallets and random base color tests in the image above) but I just couldn’t get them to look right and I became extremely more aggravated as I kept trying new and different things. My biggest mental block was feeling like I was stuck trying to make the initial pallet idea work, but eventually I was able to bump it to a slightly adjacent pallet and it worked far better. Essentially a lot of angry experimenting and testing.

2.) I made the piece too complex for its own good when it came to the foliage and scene. After finding success with a very specific way to render foliage in one of my favorite pieces I started to use it as my standard, but that standard started to show cracks when I had foliage heavy scenes like in my Hollow Knight piece from last year. The rendering style became insanely too time consuming, and incredibly distracting when used in abundance, taking away from the focal point. I knew this but I still attempted to use the same style to render the foreground foliage MULTIPLE times in increasing states of frustration until I stepped back, evaluated it wasn’t working, and tested out a very similar style with the same effect but that I could throw together twice as fast without the aggressive distraction and minuscule details that were irrelevant in the scheme of the art. This frustration in the rendering not working was only exacerbated by the color pallet indecision making a lot of the attempts just look bad both color and style wise.

Due to the limited layers I had to finish rendering out the girl very early and merge her together to free up layer space, and couldn’t keep my lineart layers as separate as I would have liked to allow for quick line color swaps. She ended up being a key point in defining the rest of the color pallet of the piece. The dress shape was indeed inspired by the Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress, but with my own twist.

Once I got a more solid color pallet down the rest started to come a lot easier and I was able to begin filling stuff in and doing general color adjustments to make the backgrounds darker and give it more depth. I don’t have any more process shots beyond the initial color pallet exploration unfortunately, but the last hurdle I hit was at the very end once I was doing final touch ups. I found that with the only light source/ lighter color being the falling star that it washed out a lot of the rest of the pieces and made the details I spend so much time on feel unnoticed. I found though that adding the bright orange stardust specks into the trees, the girls hair, and falling from the star itself gave the last bit of color I think it needed without completely destroying the atmosphere. Originally (you may see it in some of the process shots) there were going to be jars with stars already in them illuminating the bottom of the piece, but after multiple trial and error iterations it just didn’t work out and ended up taking the focal point away from the girl and the star too much so I scrapped it.

Finally once I got everything done I made a copy of the entire art file to save as a backup, then with one of the copies merged all the layers together. Once all merged I made a copy of the fully merged layer, and went and adjusted the entire layer copy using a Gaussian Blur, reduced the opacity of the blurred layer to a super low percent, and put it on top of the original merged layer. This gave it that ethereal sort of feel that is difficult to notice unless you zoom in but really helps soften the piece and make it more dreamlike overall. Then I merged that blur layer down, and turned on about a 3% noise layer on it all to give it a bit of texture.

But that’s enough rambling from me, hope this helps give a bit of background to my process and decision making and it wasn’t just a wall of random musings.

My last piece of advice is if you’re looking to do art professionally, do commissions, or make a lot of pieces in a short period of time I would highly advise against directly copying techniques I use. Because while I’m always working to improve I do only do this as a hobby rn so I have the luxury of being able to invest a lot of time, energy, and details into higher complexity pieces that would take way too long in a professional environment. I can put a lot of time into making a single piece exactly as I want it since I’m not reliant on art as my sole income. As I improve I can make things faster, but it’s still an overall slow process and I just end up moving my quality standards up with any level of improvement anyway. Use stuff I do as inspiration but I cannot stress enough to learn as many shortcuts as possible (I’m still struggling with this myself).

If y’all have any questions about bits feel free to dm, if I do something like this again I’ll try to get better screenshots during the process n try to be less verbose.

#tutorial #behind the scenes #alaraxia process #process breakdown #starfall

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mantra4ia · 4 years ago

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NBC Debris, episodes 1-9: overview of high hopes and adjusted expectations

*Mild spoilers ahead*

I'm rooting for this show guys, really I am. The premise and the two main characters / actors are interesting, or at least try very hard to be. But this series has been slow off the ground despite my excitement during preseason teasers and here's why, in my view.

Pros:

An intercontinental alliance gives room / potential for some interesting spy craft, I just wish it was slightly more artful, less heavy handed.

Alien debris having potential to do good things is also a fantastic promise to expand on. George Jones talked about some terraforming level stuff (whether it goes right or wrong is another story), let's see more of that. Are tech giants fighting over the intellectual property rights to debris-based advances? How are money and favor between industry and the government changing hands (apart from a very literal briefcase full of cash on the black market when we first meet Influx)? How do different pieces of debris interact with one another, maybe it changes some of their properties in unpredictable ways.

Bryan and Finola have good amorphous lead chemistry. We aren't being force-fed where it is going to go, but we know it's a compelling relationship where they're both relying on each other to get through challenging emotional hurdles (marine special ops, family tragedy). And we see them together, riffing off each other from the beginning, and it works as both a personal and professional partnership.

Strongest debris-scifi-based episode was definitely 1x04 "In Universe" with the chlorine- respiration-based biome. To me it's the best of the season so far.

Strongest character episode so far is maybe 1x09 "Do You Know Icarus?" or 1x06 "Supernova"

Cons:

Episodic structure hampers the ramp of tension building. You don't get big payoff because you get short plot points. Yes there's the recurring "ball of light" and Influx references, but those are more phantom thread teasers than a long game of steadily developing insights.

No fully developed villain or antagonist to make the stakes seem tangible and priorities urgent or simmering: is it Influx, Maddox, Ferris, casually mentioned foreign government espionage, the guy who played Michael on The Vampire Diaries? I don't know, and worst of all nor do I really care because I don't feel their immenent threat or ideological purpose. I am more worried about the debris body count, but debris is a problem / quandary, not a viable adversary at this point. We've got a multi-front conflict, and 45 minutes with underwhelming writing complexity to try and meet the task. It's a struggle.

The ABCD action-based plot. I have to do this sequence in order to beat this level. Where's the character building?

Speaking of which, while I like Bryan and Finola's dynamic opposite each other, I can't say the same about their development as individual characters. Their depth and relationship to others has so far been terrible due to superficial telegraphing which tells us rather than a writing structure that shows us why we're supposed to care about them, their lives, or their relationships to others, like Finola and DeDe and George as a family unit, or Bryan and Maddox. Seeing an old family video of sisters dancing to a favorite song does nothing for me when I haven't seen them interact on anything more than a long distance phone call. Can we maybe get a flashback of them at George's memorial so that we can get a sense of how devastated the family was or see the consequences of DeDe's substance abuse habit as a crutch during an emotionally chaotic time in her life? No. We get hearsay. Maddox is supposedly so worthy of Bryan's trust, pulled him from the brink of a dark emotional abyss (1x07), but we get no sense of that bond off the clock like Bryan checking in on Maddox's family, or any sort of personal connection. Just a cold professional relationship with a few one liners.

Telegraphing to ambiguity ratio: certain things the audience gets explained to us, like alternate universes visible in the molecular imperfections of glass or how they damaged George's hippocampus and impaired his memory (like they're just throwing out words to sound sci-fi impressive), and yet some basic details that would help build this world lore and make it believable are left up to off-screen imagination? Come on now, we all know the season one is for world building. Hop to it! Debris falls from the sky, worldwide, and you're telling me no one knows about it and it doesn't impact public life / culture in any way, it doesn't make the news cycle, nothing? You're an Orbital agent, and you're able to fly around in laboratory equipped jets and land in whichever airspace you please, and no one bats an eye? Terrorists are using debris against civilians, and we don't see government restrictions, curfew, lockdowns, etc, we don't get any minor glimpses into ramifications on ordinary life? No, because the focus is always trained on our "field agents" but not the playing field. It's mundane, small stuff questions that keep us grounded, which is a refreshing and needed balance in sci-fi, but apart from a conversation about stale Peeps I don't see attention to daily details of life as we know it.

We are literally told in the pilot by a title card (talk about expedient) that "three years ago images were captured of a wrecked alien spacecraft moving through the solar system" and for 6 months debris has been falling. Has it smashed through any cities causing panic? How is it spun by the media, or how is Orbital keeping it out of public attention? Is there a political power struggle over research access, and what do those higher up agency meetings look like? Where and how is the recovered debris being cataloged and stored when it is not used in active research? Who has clearance to it, what is that clearance called/what does it entail, which government retains agency of debris pieces, or does that depend on where Orbital recovers it? This is like first-five-episode-arc lore building and we are nine hit or miss episodes into the season! I need this show to level up if it's taking the route of being clever and cerebral, which it appears to aim at by focusing on the scientific part of sci-fi. If it's goal is to be a small scale, partner ride along weekly mystery with heavy synthetic sound cues, then it needs to pick a tone that takes itself less seriously.

The dialogue is so lackluster and expository. Please get some of the writer's room to focus on making it sharper, quicker, smarter.

The science of debris: George Jones, as some genius mind behind Orbital tech, isn't believable. We don't get to see any part of his professional life in Orbital in the three year lead up to when we meet our characters, he doesn't even have any dialogue when Finola first finds him captive. We have "science-aesthetic" scribbles on a chalkboard and Finola's word that George is a workaholic research savant. It doesn't ring true and by extension some of the "rules" of this Orbital technology seem murky (not as in we learn alongside the characters, but as in the concept seems under developed). George's biggest contribution thus far is a levity critique of Bryan's driving speed. At this point he's a plot device to further Fin's journey, as is DeDe. That's base.

Lack of interest in supporting ensemble: why should I care about Maddox's family crisis, or DeDe's addiction or George's suicide after he was shut out of his own research at Orbital, etc? Again this ties back to previous points of show don't tell, and build a world, maybe use some flashbacks. Make it personal — why is George's research (apart from a generalized better world) so singularly important to him that it breaks his family, what compelled Brian to transition from military service to Orbital? How are different factions within Orbital — like the research team and the field agents — getting along, who's at the very bottom of the barrel or on the very top of the hierarchy?

I want this show to succeed, but I don't get a clear read on what genre they want to be or more importantly what the characters want. Please increase the focus on dialogue, get the basics of want-obstacle-action done right, and then the debris and the conflict it creates can have a bigger impact.

#nbc debris #new fandom #sci-fi #finola jones #bryan beneventi #renew Debris

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hellreads · 5 years ago

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what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with.

You? You meet seven.

But your love? Non-existent.

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous.

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected.

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling.

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

#answered #tete-a-tete #anon #recs from hell #rfh:ot7 #rfh:knj #rfh:ksj #rfh:myg #rfh:jhs #rfh:pjm #rfh:kth #rfh:jjk #I have more mature/explicit/filthy fics just check my ficshelf for easy filtering #I was supposed to share my thoughts as to why I think these stories are filthy but decided not to because i don't wanna spoil the smut parts

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