#but that kind of brings me to the point where. i dont blame people for handling this imperfectly

[birdy-babe]

No one has ever thought about Blitzo's perspective and I think that's the problem: a tiny analysis/essay

I was rewatching season 2 episode 6 when something kind-of rubbed me the wrong way, and it was how Fizzarolli described the fire.

He states:

And I'm a fizz lover- dont get me wrong- and I understand he was angry and obviously not in the correct mindspace at this point in time-

But this type of comment seems so unfair considering how unfair the circus life for Blitzo was. He mentions how he's angry at Blitzo for being jealous of him- but he never addresses why Blitzo is jealous. Fizz has never (on screen) addressed or even acknowledged how unfairly Blitzo's father treated him and how Blitzo had it harder in life because of that.

I feel like it would hurt so much if your best friend was so blatantly favored by your own father, the father that abused you (I think selling your kid and forcing them to steal without a care for the child's safety counts as abuse), and your best friend never acknowledged that situation and held your jealousy against you?

Barbie does a similar thing on a more extreme level, only thinking about how the accident, the fire, losing their mother, was hard FOR HER. And if you look at Barbie, she doesn't really seem to have any scars (besides on her tail, and the tattoos on her body). Therefore we can assume that Blitzo sustained more physical injuries than her - in addition to losing their mother. Yet its all about how hard it is for her.

So far no one in the series has really ever looked past Blitzo's hard persona and think about maybe why he does the things that he does.

this obviously results in Blitzo blaming himself for the fire- besides the one "You have no idea what I lost in that fire" Blitzo never ever brings up how hard the fire was for him. He never ever allows sympathy to be directed his way in relation to the accident, not from himself or anyone around him. He's convinced he's the monster, the villain of the story. It's why, every single time the fire is brought up, he is solely focused on apologizing, on taking the blame, taking the blows from Fizz/Barbie. He never defends himself. Never once does he try to seek any comfort for himself, not once does he make it about him.

My problem is that everyone lets him.

Everyone sits back and watches as he takes the blows for everything. As if its all his fault. They place the blame on Blitzo because its easier, easier than acknowledging Blitzo's pain too.

Which brings me to Stolas.

In this current Stolas situation, where Stolas goes wrong is by repeating this same behavior that Blitzo was faced with when it came to Barbie and Fizz after the accident. Something happened, people were hurt, Blitzo was hurt, Stolas was hurt- but of course it's all Blitzo's fault - it's always Blitzos fault. Stolas takes very little blame for what happened, even though he very much is equally to blame as is Blitzo.

Also note here: Blitzo has his flaws and he does make mistakes that he needs to take responsibility for. This is not to say he is 100% innocent, he's just not 100% to blame either.

Its always Blitzo who needs to apologize, Blitzo who ruined the relationship, Blitzo who broke Stolas' heart, Blitzo who ruined Barbie's life, Blitzo who destroyed Fizz. This pattern happens so much that Blitzo's turned it into a core belief: when something bad happens, he's at fault. He's the reason behind all the bad things that happen. He's the common denominator.

Which is how we got to today: he doesnt believe he deserves love, sympathy, or comfort: because he believes hes the sole cause for all this pain: therefore why should he feel happiness when all he does is take other's away? Why should he allow himself to be loved by Stolas when he hurt Barbie so badly? When he ruined Barbie's chances at love? At a good life?

It's like he's constantly punishing himself for something he thinks he's responsible for. He thinks he deserves to be miserable as some sort of pay-back for ruining everyone's lives.

And you can see as he desperately tries to act the opposite now. It's subtle, because he has to keep up his hard exterior, but its there.

Every single one of his relationships (besides those from childhood) were created because he wanted to help. Adopting Loona to help her escape foster care, befriending Moxxie and helping him escape the abuse of his father and the mafia, befriending Millie (which we don't know their back story yet but i assume he also helped her out of a bad hole, maybe by offering her a position at IMP? We will see!).

I just think he doesnt get the credit he deserves.

I think if just one person acknowledged what happened to Blitzo, allowed Blitzo to be vulnerable, allowed him to express his feelings, allowed him to grieve and mourn the things that happened to him: he would be able to move on, and improve.

It's even worse that some of the people who are the worst offenders are also the ones to claim they love him. Verosika, Stolas, Fizz, etc. They like him for the fake persona he puts up. This enforced Blitzo's belief that he must repress things, that they wont love him if he were anyone else- if he showed his true scars and trauma and if he showed how soft he really is. They love him for his fake persona, not really for him.

So he lashes out. He's shitty. He pushes them away.

And when he does let some of that vulnerability slip? He's shit on for it. When he expresses it to Fizz, Fizz covers up his words with "Glad you could admit it, want a medal?" The only small reprieve Blitzo got was when Fizz said "I guess you didn't really ruin my life."

When he expresses it to stolas "Treat me like one of your butler imps!" Stolas's response is "You think that little of me?"

Which isnt an invalid response point to bring up (and definitely needs to be addressed, which I think Blitzo is getting to bc he's becoming very aware of his other shortcomings), but at the same time Stolas has the responsibility of thinking about why Blitzo would think that. Stolas has never really listened to Blitzo when Blitzo doesnt fit into this mold that Stolas made up of him. When Blitzo gets angry and expresses how Stolas makes him feel:

"Dont act like this is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you" "You can't just throw this feelings bullshit on me" "give me a second to think!" "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" "How could you ever actually care for an imp… Me? How could anybody?"

He's always faced with Stolas bringing it back to...well.. anything else. He either ignores the comment all together or he goes into what he wants.

And Blitzo isnt perfect either, but I feel like we all know that. I think that everyone is well aware of how shitty Blitzo can be, but no one really addresses everyone else. Which is why i'm not getting into Blitzo's flaws, because those are a lot more obvious.

So yeah, thats why I wanted to post this lil analysis. Also because its fun to break apart their relationships and wonder why they said the things they said, get a better understanding of the story and the characters. I could be totally off with all this but I had fun writing it lol.

This is not a blitzo/stolas/fizz/etc hate post AT ALL. I love everyone and think that the story will show us who they are.

Let me know if you agree or disagree!

[syluses]

there was another wave of caleb drama on the bird app the other day about him not wanting to be ur gege at all which was lowkey super dumb bc its not true but now its making me think of an au where mc and caleb don't grow up together and meet as adults but caleb's still delusional and crazy enough to want to have that type of dynamic... like just irrationally mad that he isn't the one who raised u LMAO i always saw him as the type to just want to be your everything not Just a brother not Just a lover... it tickles my brain.. love and obsession so all-encompassing that he has to be everything in ur life

..Oh brother 😒 no pun intended. I agree with u tho nonnie 💯 Bro needs to be her everything, & if he isnt he feels worthless.

Prepare thyselfs

Alright, yall already know by know that im a big gege truther- however im perfectly fine with the people who wanna see caleb as the ‘childhood friend’- which the anglicized version essentially goes off on. Now i do believe those individuals dont see all of caleb’s unique little nuances- just because so much of them stem from the brotherly role he was ‘forced’ to fill for mc all throughout childhood- and i think they fail to recognize the paramount correlation it has to their ‘forbidden’ romance (which both he & mc ACKNOWLEDGE in the story; but ig they’re just whiting out the bits they dont wanna hear) but im not gonna flame ppl if they wanna see bro as the friends to lovers trope.

i dont agree with it, but its more or less okay with me bc i understand lots of ppl are icked out by the pseudo trope (reasonable) yet still want to appreciate xia yizhou in their own way— even if ignoring the original intention inevitably brings a certain distance to that for the lack of comprehension over his, well, ahem GEGEISM™️

The way some of them wanna DENY the asian/original canon tho is pretty insane ngl. Like homie u can still enjoy ur own (english localized) idea of caleb- but to try to erase the obvious gege/meimei implications of the chinese version is funny only because its just that stupid. Again im definitely not one of the ppl who’ll yell and shame others for not fucking with the gege vibes, but cmon… its pretty obvious that is in the canon.

And now im yapping at this point but as to whether or not caleb WANTS to be mc’s brother figure? ..Honestly i feel like that is complicated in itself, and i think the answer will vary from person to person. But for me i think its both a yes and a no. He definitely acts as her brother, thinks as her brother, regards himself as her brother. And the self awareness is absolutely there for him- as in he knows its wrong to romantically pine for mc because he truly does- in his own way- naturally see mc as his meimei as well, even if he tries to separate himself from it the more his yearning grows. I think calebs emotions revolving this are super complex. I can barely even put it into words.

He wants the full right, if u will, that the gege title grants him over her— the closeness, the responsibility, the bond— but it ultimately gets in the way when he stares at her in admiration for a little too long or leans a little too much into the fantasy of pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. Growing up, whenever he humored her and they played house, he never had to feign the part of ‘husband’ bc he already carried all that love with him. In a way, a lil piece of him kind of blames mc for ‘asserting’ the gege role on him, but he’s still just as guilty bc he happily gave in to it all throughout their growing up. He liked it, even, in those moments he could almost forget his own pathetic desires.

I truly do believe that caleb feels regretful over the brotherly role he operated under for just about all his life… But i also truly believe that he would have it no other way— the smallest idea of anybody else assuming that spot in her life makes him furious. Because again, he wants to take care of her, he wants to protect her, to bandage her scraped knees and hush away her tears, to cook breakfast lunch and dinner for her and have almost as much of a say in her life as gran does. (…past tense.) He wants the proximity, the domestic life with her, the casual closeness and again, the slight dominion the ‘brother’ role gives him over her.

Lets not forget that in all of this, for all his cheerful, reassuring smiles and easy quipping comments, that there’s a little worm in the back of caleb’s head that wants ultimate control over his meimei. and yes, even just in calling her his ‘meimei’— or her running face first into his strong arms bc she knows, as family, he’ll always have her back— some of that control is given. Its so hard to articulate this pls kill me. But i hope u know what i mean.

At the end of the day, for all his reservations about it- and the actual blame he lowkey tries to put on mc for it- Caleb does and always wanted to be her gege.

Because if he was never her gege, he’d be nothing. His responsibility over his meimei— his sister, his friend, his closest confidant and hopefully, one day, his wife— is frankly all that gives him purpose.

And yeah maybe he is a little crazy because of it... But he knows she loves him too, deep down. He knows her better than anybody else, after all. The same can be said about his love for her: nobody in this world could ever hold even a fraction of all that Caleb both internally & physically shoulders for her.

It’s as much of an ugly curse as it is a beautiful gift.

Duality my friends, duality

[christmasjade]

My thoughts on Married in Red+ My general thoughts on Studio Investigrave !

So I really like this game

It was fun to be able to play it on my own with no help from Youtubers and stuff ^^

The game has 1 ending, though you can have 2 different kinds of game overs lol (I'll get to that later)

The mc (Bok-su) and her relationship with the bride (Da-Jeong) is sad , but not shocking lol. You can kind of tell from the promotional art (and the theme of atonement said in the itch.io description) that Da-Jeong and Bok-Su are not on good terms.

I like that Bok-su was able to get her revenge on Da-Jeong. Obviously her way of doing it is horrible, and the groom (Myeong-hoon) being a main part of her revenge is sad, because he had nothing to do with this.

However, I dont feel that bad for Da-Jeong at all. Yeah, two wrongs dont make a right, and people panic, but she essentially ruined Bok-Su's life and reputation to save her own ass, so I really can't bring myself to feel too bad for her.

Sure you can argue that the situations are different, with Bok-Su purposefully killing Myeong-Hoon meanwhile what Da-Jeong did was a mistake, but I personally am a firm believer of getting your lick back, so 🤗..

I also like how the deaths and reactions are the exact same lmao.

The patient Da-Jeong killed was a man, and his mother said something along the lines of like.. "You killed my son" (I dont exactly remember, depsite me literally just playing LMAOO) and Myeong-Hoons mom literally says the same thing/something adjacting to that too Da-Jeong.

Da-Jeong runs off and during her break down says "I didn't do it-", which is what Bok-Su says when shes retelling the story of what Da-Jeong did to her.

Bok-Su had to goal of getting her payback to make Da-Jeong atone and she accomplished it. And the crazy thing is, despite everything that happened, Da-Jeong never said sorry.

She never said sorry. Not when Bok-Su showed up to the wedding, not when the two of them where alone in the garden, and damn sure not when Da-Jeong had "enough" of Bok-Su being there.

She never said sorry, not even when she pointed the blame onto Bok-Su. In fact, Bok-Su repeats a line that Da-Jeong said to her when (I'm assuming so anyway) the incident happened. Da-Jeong told her that she didnt have anything to worry/be mad about.

The ending of the game, obviously, isnt really a happy ending. Bok-Su gets her revenge and makes Da-Jeong go through what she did but 10× worst. So sure its happy for her,but its still horrific lol

Which is why I love endings for the games that Studio Investigrave makes. With the exception of Cold Front, all of the endings across all the games arent truly happy ever after kind of endings.

With Dead Plate, Rody either has to kill Vincent after finding out his ex was killed and turned into food by him AND after he tried to do the same to Rody.

Yeah Rody makes it out alive, but theres still a horrible and traumatic incident that happened. He knows why Vince did it, and was able to get rid of him, but it doesn't erase the fact that Manon is still dead. (Or with the other ending he leaves the restaurant and never find Manon, because shes in the fridge "missing".)

With Elevator Hitch, the cycle repeats for Protag. When he finally gets the chance to leave the Elevator and the building, hes stopped by some..guy ?? (Who looks like an alternate lmao) and is convinced that he needs the job. The exit doors then open up into the elevator again. He never leaves that building, and is probably stuck in a time loop.

With Eloquent Countenance, Angelica either gets the ritual redone on her by the cult, or is stuck in the cult with the knowledge that shes not the only one in her body. But that she shares it with an angel pretending to be the dead wife of the cults pastor.

Yeah, she lives, but she has to wait until Forcas can fully save her from her possession by said angel. The ending, like Dead Plate and Married in Red, is horrific.

And then with the other ending of Cold Front , if you push Winnie off the stairs, he dies in the crash and Auggie takes his place. It's a happy ending for Auggie, sure, but he never gets the closure or the realization that Winnie was never the wicked and mean person he made him out to be in his head. Its disturbing how content he is with it, with the fact that his former best friend is dead and how he replaces him.

But yeah, erm... the game was fun, 10/10 ^^

[ender-cloud]

I saw someone say that what if Polities voice is fading because Odysseus is forgetting his voice, I told some people this and we came up with a new theory.

So enjoy the theory and my explanation for it that I made late last night so its kinda everywhere

Ok ok, so What if Polities Voice fades because Odysseus is forgetting the idea of using Mercy and is no longer taking his advice to heart, forgetting what he said which is why the last time he hears Polities voice he only hears “You can relax my friend”

We can also see the growth throughout lyrics in the story!

First time we hear the Open arms idea is in song #4, Open arms, when Poloties is giving Odysseus advice that instead of leading with a ruthless, unhappy life to lead with a more open, merciful one instead!

And then In Remeber them, after Polities dies, when Odysseus talks to Athena he says “When Mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to do” and in Luck runs out he tells Eurylochus “I still believe in goodness, I still believe we can be kind, lead from the heart”

BUT THEN! IN UNDERWORLD SAGA WHEN WE HEAR POLITIES HIS VOICE IS FADED, at this in the point Odysseus has already met Posedion “Ruthlessness is Mercy” and has heard his crew blaming him for their deaths, already doubting Polities advice

Then theres of course Monster, getting rid of that Ideal of Mercy, with Different Beast Odysseus showed no Mercy to the Sirens because he “can’t take more risks of not seeing his wife” (also just the entire Thunder saga in general) yet he still dosent bring himself to fight Scylla, not being able to fight a monster, perhaps because he knew it was a lost cost either way.

Also he still debates for a bit if he should show his crew mercy, knowing what he truly wants but not wanting to voice it, not wanting to accept that he cant show them his mercy, leading to their deaths

AND THEN IN LOVE IN PARADISE WE HEAR POLITIES AGAIN! This time he’s more faded, Odysseus has been betrayed by people he thought were his friends, he is almost constantly SA’d (in the original Odyssey and Hints to it in Epic) by Calypso every night, and is loosing his hope in humanity.

Then, of course, the Vengeance sags. Where, for the last time, we see Odysseus try to accept Mercy, trying to hold onto the Ideal, but it doesn’t work. Poseidon doesn’t listen. This is the last time we hear Polities, but it’s not the normal piece of advice he gives, it’s “You can relax my friend” because Odysseus isn’t planning on using Mercy anymore. He has tried time and time again just for nothing to work.

This leads to the end of 600 strike, even after He won he didnt give Poseidon any mercy whatsoever.

AND THEN WE GET TO ODYSSEUS (the song) WHERE THIS ALL COMES TOGETHER!

The fight with the Suitors has many parts but theres 2 important ones. The first one is the obvious one, Eurymachus trying to reason with Odysseus, using the Words “OPEN ARMS” which is something Odysseus has rejected, choosing to kill Eurymachus instead (i heard people say its a trigger word now and it made me giggle)

And then theres the end of Odysseus, when Telemachus attempts to reason and give the suitors Mercy, in which we get the nail of the Mercy coffin with the lines “Mercy? MERCY! My mercys long since drowned” (Poseidon putting thr thought of Ruthlessness in his head) “it died to bring me home”

This is where we truly see that Mercy isnt even a thought to Odysseus, he has completely forgotten and pushed aside what Polities had told him (which might be a reason we dont get a polities moment in the final saga)

Also in this same song, Odysseus says that they “Filled his heart with hate” going against what he had said in Luck runs out, he is no longer penelopes “kind and loving husband” (WYFILWMA) because of what happened to him during the journey

[elainsgirl]

The fandom hasn’t been this much of a mess since 2021. I’m still here mostly because I feel like the announcement is coming soon and at this point I’ve been around too long to just dip.

But man, seeing gwynriels mock the elriels who left actually has me seething. Acting like they’re just too sensitive for fandoms or scared their ship is sinking. Like, really? People can’t even leave without getting dragged? It’s like they can’t turn off the ship war mindset for five seconds and realize that real people were actually hurt. Instead they just make fun of them on their way out. It’s messed up. And the worst part is that the wrong people are leaving. Like I get why, but it’s always the kind ones who go. How many times is this gonna happen? I’ve seen so many good people leave over the years and many never came back.

This week sucked ass. Easily one of the worst since the 2021 chaos. So many who joined the fandom after silver flames just have no decency. I just feel weirdly empty now. We really need that announcement.

A fandom is meant to be a space of fun. A space where you can shut off from real life issues & problems - and simply enjoy, stressfree for a while whether that’s through creating content or simply consuming it. Obviously it will be inevitable that some real life issues filter through into fandoms, however it should always be talked about with empathy, caution and care - so those that are affected or going through these issues aren’t so triggered.

That side were simply not mature enough to handle such heavy topics. Their posts were careless and triggering. Any sane, normal person would be able to understand why people are upset and leaving. I think lately, I’ve really come to the realisation that antis do not see elriels as real life people who are going through our own struggles. As you perfectly put it -(and a phrase I will now be using so thanks anon) it seems as though most antis cannot turn off their shipwar mindsets for a minute to look past and understand how these sort of heavy topics are very disturbing. Each post they made this past week about the issue/article basically went

“Yh no sure the article was wrong…but like, its just an opinion and tbf the author did write it as such where people would y’know bring up Elain not having the right anatomy…so blame Sjm and not the readers/journalist and…like, its not a big thing - elriels have said so much worse! And honestly…they’re just mad bcs the point make sense and they can’t deal with that. It was nothing to make such a big deal about”

I know this might come across as mean but, you know when a young teenager or even child enter spaces meant for more mature adults - they dont understand or grasp on how to communicate with the conversations going on in that space. They just end up blabbering and saying dumb stuff, missing the point. THAT is how antis have acted this past week.

You know, Im going to be real with you. Everytime I think antis can’t go any lower then they already have - every time they prove me wrong. Who and why is anyone creating posts & making fun about those leaving due to feeling triggered? Its just immature and pathetic. People have a life outside of the shipwars, something most antis won’t know about. I feel like most of them are consumed within the shipwars and its the centre of their lives.

You’re so right anon. The wrong people are leaving. The people that make the fandom a better, brighter place that have put nothing out but positivity. Its sad to see them go but hopefully they’ll be back once we finally get something about the next book.

Im convinced most who joined after SF - its either their first fandom experience or most of them are just attention seekers. At this point, I simply have stopped caring about anything fandom related, you’re right. I also feel empty and tired - just done with this fandom but Im just praying we get an announcement soon. Match preferably - we need something new to create a positive buzz again.

[heartinhands]

i think what makes gojo such a fun character is how emotionally distant and unbothered he is because he doesnt base his personal sense of morals or values on anything in his vicinity. he has things he cares about and has a relatively good heart but hes also undeniably cutthroat and distant from his peers. he's aware that if he starts putting moral judgments on things he's strong enough that the world would inevitably start listening to him and bending to his suggestions without him even necessarily having to try and get people to listen. so he doesn't. tbh he's kind of like sonic lol

which makes his dichotomy with geto fun because of course suguru is very morally driven and makes value judgments on everything. gojo has seen firsthand how being "concerned with morals" can be bad.

on the topic of geto i dont think gojo regrets what happened to him. by which i mean that gojo misses geto but also that gojo sincerely believes he did everything he could have possibly done with the knowledge he had at the time and he thinks that geto's fall is partly his fault for not reaching out or trying to talk about it. he doesn't blame himself at all. perhaps a callous take, but satoru isn't someone who internalizes things like that. he regrets killing geto because he doesn't want to have to kill a friend but he doesn't regret that geto landed himself there and i don't think he beats himself up about it very long afterwards. there's no point in wondering why or where things could have gone differently.

which brings me to the next point: the future generations. he thinks the other partial fault falls on the adults for not keeping an eye out for suguru and trying to help him and this is i think why satoru wants to be a teacher; to be a trusted adult who has all the cards available to him to help his students pick the best paths they need in the moment without being bogged down by being "correct" or "good" or "right" which he saw destroy his peers in high school. he just does what he thinks is the best so people can better themselves every day and guide them down the path they feel is most appropriate

[bl00dlight]

The fanon concept of Helaegon overtaking canon has been something to see. The only time they talk he completely ignores her wishes and instructions for their son. She never displays any care or compassion for him, and after the funeral, he never mentions Jaehaerys again. I don’t understand how everything she does have to be about him? We see her watching them bring Aegon home, and she does not look like she cares at all. Maybe that will change next episode and maybe she goes visit him, but based off of this it doesn’t make sense to me. Where are they getting this from? If her confronting Aemond was supposed to be about Aegon, we would have seen her and Aegon lol.

EXACTLYYYYY. I mean I have no idea how people are so unbelievably insistent on Aegon being this centralised figure in Helaena's life, when the very plot itself was written to determine how isolated Helaena is within her marriage and family itself.

I don't even particularly find Aegon x Helaena as a dynamic very intriguing, given... the fact Aegon actively doesn't give a fuck about her? Even Viserys and Alicent had more love and care within their marriage and their dysfunction literally RESULTED in the forming of the war. Helaena and Aegon don't speak, have no visible chemistry either? So I don't get the pairing other than girls online who think Aegon is hot, and are self inserting as Helaena? Like I COULD see the vision if Aegon deep deep down had care/love for Helaena. But we know he doesn't? We know he literally feels nothing for her, its even stated by the actors. So???? Huh?

And again, I truly fear for people's media literacy if they think Helaena was asking Aemond about Aegon. As you said she literally could not give a fuck if Aegon lived or died. She's not visited his ass ONCE LMAO. But you know who she did visit and seemingly will continue to have scenes with? Aemond.... hmmmm I wonder why??? It's almost like Helaena has a connection with her younger brother who also has suffered abuse from Aegon and neglect etc. Wowwww. It's almost like... Aemond and Helaena are paralleled in the story. Both just want to make their mother happy. Both keep their heads down and get on with it their ENTIRE lives and let Aegon ABUSE THEM - for their mother.

When Helaena said 'I forgive you' to Alicent, when Helaena showed sympathy and kindness to her mother despite Alicent forcing her into another traumatic situation... what did they think was going on there? Is Helaena saying I forgive you for fucking Cole? Nah i dont think so... I dont think Helaena gives a fuck about Alicent and Criston Cole. I think she is saying she forgives her mother for everything that has happened and everything that will. Because she knows Alicent will suffer in the end, will be alone with all of her children dead, for what? And no one else is to blame but Alicent (in regards to the care of her own children, which we see Alicent struggle with last ep). Aegon doesn't give a fuck about Helaena - because Alicent neglected all of her children enough to the point where they all are in a state of constant servitude to win Alicents love/affection.

Helaena literally sacrificed her life for her mother and so did Aemond. But the outlier is Aegon, who was both so neglected and abused but also pressured to care about the throne that, he became the abuser.

He abused Aemond and Helaena, and I don't get how people don't see that dynamic in the Greens.

I also have to point out, how could it be possible everyone is shipping a character as GROSS as Aegon is with Helaena. Cause let's be real, Aegon is gross, he literally is complicit in the sexual abuse of his little brother. And there is no doubt about it, Aemond def was sexually abused, the difference is - it wasn't necessarily by the Madame. She is still a prostitute who is at the mercy of a Prince? What is she going to do? Turn down feeding herself or risk being punished? Aegon is the one who forced Aemond into it, it's Aegon's fault that the encounter made Aemond feel so much shame and humiliation and wounded Aemond to the point of which that Sylvie is the only woman he is capable of sexual vulnerability with so far. And then on top of it, Aegon is martially raping Helaena? Which YEA it is marital rape considering Hel prefers him ignoring her over being drunk and pursuing her sexually. Do they really think about how deeply fucked up that is lmao? Helaena literally proclaims her preference for total neglect by Aegon, because 'when he's drunk' is implying that suddenly Aegon DOES pay attention to her... and we know what Aegon likes to do to women when he's drunk.

TGC is just a hot dude and a fantastic actor who plays Aegon completely charismatically and with alot of complexity. And Phia is the same, she's beautiful and has transformed Helaena from a dull one note plot device in the books, to a fascinating, captivating character who is the only truly innocent character in her family.

We can all feel the actors intentions behind the screen. Which is why Helaemond is such a huge thing.. because the actors went in with the intention that Helaena and Aemond share an affinity regardless of if it's familial or romantic. We know both Ewan and Phia, could sense something a level of understanding, safety, care between those two siblings. Where as again Phia and Tom have said neither Aegon or Helaena cares much about the other. They can't even bond over the fact they have CHILDREN. Hel is basically just a baby maker.

And speaking of Jaehaerys, I mean what does Aegon say after he finds out his son is dead in the small council? He asks why wasn't anyone there to protect their King? What if AEGON had been killed? Not what if my daughter had been killed, or what if my sister/wife had been killed? He asks what if it was ME?

I feel like that says it all about Aegons character, he is narcissistic and ultimately can only think about his own wants/needs. That is legit Aemonds whole beef with him in season 1, it's not even that he was bullied - it's that Aegon isn't worthy of being King because he is selfish and has no sense of duty/dosent care.

We see when they are kids and Aegon is like "i don't want to marry Helaena cause she is fucking stupid and we have nothing in common." That Aegon can't see beyond the fact HE thinks she is weird and isn't attracted to her therefore = I don't give a fuck about her and I don't want to do my duty.

And Aemond literally responds by saying "bro she's literally our sister/future Queen have some respect and be grateful cause ur the one who gets to keep our bloodline pure and carry it on." And what does Aegon say? " Ew why don't u marry her?" And what does Aemond say, "Yea bitch I would. I love duty/incest. Sucks mum didnt let us."

Okay obvs that is not a word for word account. But we see it RIGHT there as early as these characters introductions - we see Aegon x Helaena's dynamic is one of complete neglect/lack of love. I don't know what exactly is so attractive about that dynamic to so many? But I assume it's because Tom is hot.

Another Helaegon rant done.

[aelirus]

i'm talking about this in ims but im bringing it here to reiterate how much i love .. the concept of it.

TLDR cyrus being right in that the world is flawed (despite him being a bad guy) and this being portrayed via cynthia (despite her being a good guy)

the pokemon world is an ideal world, but not perfect. by having characters like giovanni and ghetsis exist and rise to power, cyrus' point is kinda being proven. there are big issues that dont get addressed, and when someone goes too out of line to address that problem, they're punished and put in the box of being "the problem" and stored away. Yay, we did it! we defeated the evil! lets go back to everything being the same before they showed up.

cyrus is a terrorist he's an asshole he's bombing the region and basically wants to end all life, thats true. but what i find really interesting is how cynthia, a character everyone looks up to as a voice of reason, is just...... incapable of understanding. or doesnt want to, without realising.

she said something to him like "go be alone somewhere you dont have to see other people, leave everyone else out of it!"

in some way she is acknowledging she understands cyrus' whole thing comes from a place of pain, but shes basically putting the blame on him for that. "oh well, you hate us so much, go be alone!"

replaying platinum too, and i can never tell if any odd writing is simply from the game being for kids (and especially pre xy the games had kinda stilted/strange dialogue,) me and the people watching me play were kinda shocked at how unserious cynthia is about all of galactic until the end.

like, this isn't news. we know this is a thing, but seeing it just brings that to the forefront. ties back into how cyrus is also kinda being proven right again whenever anyone underestimates him/galactic.

anyway...

im not saying galactic is good or that cynthia needs to extend them any courtesy...

but im super interested in how they kinda touch on all of this in pokemon masters. while i have my issues with how characters can be handled 2-dimensionally, i was really impressed by the cyrus intro event when cynthia was all up in arms and ready to oppose him... even dawn and lucas. but then the kids involved are all a lot quicker to suggest trying to understand him or reach out to him to solve the threat he causes.

and cynthia has a moment where she's like .... damn. hold up, thats very mature. i gotta also be mature about this.

and then from that moment onward, while she's still not all sunshine and rainbows with cyrus, she does try a less aggressive and more understanding approach in dealing with him.

and then we get the update where she is actually trying to converse with cyrus in the win screen/team screen, and show him an uncertain sort of kindness. she's trying to improve. its awesome.

[moliathh]

do you think that integra being a woc and alucard being white impacts the dynamic at all

also i think i saw this in an old tweet of yours but idk why but a lot of my favorite ships are a woc and a “white devil” like you said IDK IDK i need to examine this pattern 🤧🫣

GIGGLE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay okay hehehe i need to calm down to actually write about the first clause. So for first question let me divide this into two parts, first point is the impact within the plot and second is how their relationship is perceived by viewers (from my perspective).

Point one, her ancestry didn't impact their dynamics enough within the context of Hellsing i fear. Actually her ancestry contributed almost nothing to the plot and was not even a universally known fact. There are people who didn't know she was supposed to be biracial at all 😭😭 Can't even blame them, her ancestry wasn't explicitly stated in the manga nor the OVA

And then on anime adaptations, they colour her kinda grayish 😐 this is VILE work imo. Like on their character sheets (2001) Anderson is even darker than Integra? what the hell 🤦

Integra's character closely tied to breaking social norms, it should've affect the plot more that she is the opposite of an old white man yet she is holding the leading position over these council of old white men. I admit my affection would've reduced if she was a white character.

Which bring us to second point, I was very fond of the fact that she is a dark skinned woc. We don't have enough woc representation let alone a woc mc, given much authority and written with much care! It certainly changed the dynamic of A/I for me. There was one post i saw on twitter or maybe tumblr, calling it "Hellsing got a brown girl enslaving a white man" I CRACKED TF UP OH GOOD GODS yes that is one (a big one) of the reasons why I like Alucard x Integra. They constantly subvert stereotypes.

A lot of times I had lost count, black/brown dark skinned woc characters are mostly masculinized or pushed asides. It is REFRESHING to see a character of this category not only loved and devoted to but also seen as the "Good" aligned character. Stereotypically, within a ship of said category with a white or light coloured skinned character, the one with darker skin tone will be written as "barbaric/slave/exotic/aggressive/monstrous/unreasonable/protector/lower-class/inappropiate" etceras and aligned with "Villain" side in contrast to the character with lighter shade, who oftenly was depicted with lighter physical appearance and contrasting traits 🫤 I do not like such tropes and i barely see any depiction that could execute this fairly. Much times these depictions are inspired by racism and colourism. However, with Alucard and Integra it is reverted. Alucard is the more monstrous, physically aggressive one, while Integra was seen with higher status and a more good-aligned personality.

I see that many people does not like seeing depiction that affiliate Integra with femininity. I like those a lot tho. Two things, I like feminine presenting characters and I like when the stereotype above is subverted. Yes maybe that is why i often leans towards ship where woc are loved and worshipped. But I also like when ships have some rocky aspect to it, like a contrasting relationship between a more beastly (preferably lighter shade, as i had mentioned i am uncomfortable with the stereotype) character with a more morally righteous character. Hence the "begone white demon" joke, as some of my current favourite ships consisted of a pure hearted dark skinned woc heroine and a little evil pale freak of a twink: alutegra for an instance, and there is also snowbaird and lukahyuna, and gelphie and timebombs not really but almost counted... hihi 😭😭 i also love jacela, jaymelvik melvika, laenyra, richette, kathony, janaya, everlark and lucerhaena, in these ships i dont use the "white devil joke" tho cuz both within the ship is kind, but the repeating pattern is that the woc is worshipped and cared for !! basically Alucard x Integra is the ship consisting of all of my biggest preferences in shipping 🥺

[loopy4lu]

yesterday was my mums birthday. today we celebrated it with family. i spent the whole afternoon helping set up as an adult. i was the only child helping. the others were completely able to refuse. i help with every step, including passing out dessert. i bring cake to everyone, even my cousin whos taking a breather in the other room. after finishing handing out everything i was asked to, i come back to the cake to find four bowls. two of the bowls follow my nan and i think "oh one must be for me" but each are taken by someone. theres two bowls left. the cake is packed away. the last two people leave. with the last two bowls. my own mother, who was cutting the cake, has forgotten to give her daughter, who loves chocolate cake, a slice of her chocolate birthday cake. everyone has left the room. im following them outside when i reach the door and have to take an extremely deep breath to avoid screaming at the world.

once i finally head outside, everyone is sitting down. i take my seat in the corner. someone glances over at me. i avoid eye contact. "wheres yours?" immediately tears in my eyes. i shrug, "i didnt get one" and my voice breaks. tears steeam down my cheeks. my poor mother whos birthday celebration i feel ive just ruined, apologises profusely and pulls me to the kitchen so i can finally get a slice. everyones confused on why im upset as once again there was a lack of focus on my needs. she gives me a massive slice, not out of kindness but of guilt. she knows i wont eat it all. she knows its a waste, and she knows ill be embarrassed about said waste.

i sit down with my overly large slice. a couple of people try to take the blame. i apologise and tell them its fine, while still uncontrollably crying. we all eat our cake. i get less than halfway when im full. i once again am asked to do things for people when i bring in several plates. after weve eaten theres no further mention of the mistake, and no question as to if im ok and if i want to step inside, even though i am still crying consistently, and even though my sister had been asked many times if she wanted to go inside earlier in the event.

eventually i finally am given the oppurtunity to leave. i sit there as people pack up. i offer to help my mum a couple of times but she turns away. i sit alone. teary eyed. sniffling. feeling stupid and immature for being upset about this. too many sympathetic looks. random stories to try and distract me from my sadness, which are then interrupted for others to say goodbye. perfectly reasonable but still feels as though i am being ignored, especially when they dont even look in my direction. i get two byes that afternoon. one side hug. we head out to our car. i am unable to cry to myself for the next hour and a half. i dustract myself. i get home. evsrythings ok. it didnt matter.

except it did. it really did matter to me. after feeling like im in the back of peoples minds for weeks, this confirmation hit me like a trainwreck. i cant even get upset or moody about it because im supposed to act like an adult in front of others now. except for the fact im not an adult. im a moody, depressed, anxious teen who feels ignored by the world and wants to scream all their misfortunes into the hot summer air. im so tired of acting like the perfect mature cousin when im not and nobody even likes me anyway. theres not really a point anymore. but i will continue to. the only thing that keeps me going is hope, so why not let it determine my mental state. maybe theyll remember me next time.

[rainbowdaisy13]

I appreciate your blog and insights so much and i agree with a ton of stuff you have said about taylor / kaylor so this comes from a kind place, not a hateful one. I dont want to defend taylor at all. However i want to offer a different perspective on some of her lyrics solely for arts sake.

I see a lot of people saying we should not have been surprised that taylor isnt the good person we have thought she was and that she has shown us her narcissistic / abusive / victim - playing personality (etc) through her lyrics. Songs like afterglow, renegade, youre losing me (etc) come go mind.

After all i still believe writing music is a way for her to cope and if that is so, i see it as a good sign that she writes about the dark sides of her personality because it shows she can still reflect on the situations and her role in them. I would find it worse if all her songs were basically white horse or shouldve said no where she doesnt take any blame for anything.

We need to remember we werent there in any of the situations she describes and so we dont know if she actually „went off like sirens“ at her lover or actually said and meant things like „you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days“.

The way i see it, those lyrics can absolutely tell what has really happened. But they can also be fragments of what was in her mind when the situation happened and was left unspoken. Or offer an alternative reaction to a situation that truly happened. Maybe she wanted to blow things out of proportion and make her lover miserable, maybe she even did. However we dont know any context and we dont know how or if she made up for it and therefore we cant judge her because im sure all of us have destructive tendencies and as i said before, people who dont recognize them are far more dangerous than those who do.

I guess my point is that people seem to forget that just because a song is based on real experiences and feelings does not make the song 100% accurate and also the other way around. Just because a song has been inspired by fiction doesnt mean the feelings cant have occured in real life situations.

Its scary how illiterate the world is becoming. We are less and less capable of interpreting art and its dangerous for so many reasons.

As an artist I think art is up to individual interpretation by whomever is viewing it—like the Observer Effect for particles

I disagree that people are unable to interpret art correctly because any true artist knows that what we create isn’t fully coming from just ourselves. You tap into something else to create anything, but especially something that has a profound impact on you while you are making it. Whoever is experiencing your art is bringing their own entire mental worlds to the table which colors their interpretation as well

So while I agree with you that nothing Taylor reveals in her lyrics should be taken as gospel truth, or complete fantasy, I don’t think there is one true correct interpretation of any of it. Go to any Taylor sub and see how the Matty or Diana stans can read a lyric that Kaylors have claimed and make it line up with their cannon just as easily

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Me and Big Name Fandumb Straggots petitprincess1 and ayylmao.tv after I call them out on their bullshit and block them, basically...But especially petitprincess1...

Because wasn't the entirety of that movie one big transphobic rape joke basically and she thought using a tacky, "sassy" gif of that Jim Carry bullshit even back in 2020 was a serve?

And yes, this fandumb does sexualize everything but in a very Bad Form, telling, neo nazi simping way kind of way that just dries up all moistness from the cunt when the rest of y'all can't seem to keep the word "degeneracy" out of your cheato dust breathing, incel/femcel mouths even "ironically" and that's why I couldn't bare trying to recommend these shows to any of my actually filthy, fucking John Waters loving queer friends who actually know who he is and actually know how to fuck. Because some of y'all fucked up the vibe so badly, in the Bad, Bad way... And I still (somewhat) blame Ashley Nicholas and her moistphobia for "Trend Setting" all that Bad, bad taste. Still tastes like that sauceless chikn nuggit (so if vivziepop actually made coco melon for tenderqueers... Oop!) Baja Blast flavored Furry Has -Been Tears, cheato dust, transphobia, and bad eggs in here sometimes and honestly if you're not a fanartists with loved ones keeping the vibes alive I'm kind of over it... My literal, crippled hands give me every excuse to write these think pieces while I'm waiting for my fanartist to help me complete and debut my character so I can focus on creating more art for her-- but these abled-bodied nasties have no excuse to be spamming the space with clickbait and gossip blogs regurgitating Medrano's every move on social media while harassing other artists and creators to the point where it just over saturates everything else good in this fandom and I have to turn my replies and everything off because abled bodied mentally ills get so offended when you call them abled bodied mentally ill and then I get an ask insulating I'm going "anti" when the insult was directed towards an anti who was essentially trying to tip my wheelchair over like a cow and block evading and harassing me in the first place-

Oh and let's not forget that I got screamed at, block evaded, harassed some more and called "biphobic" by another alleged bi girl, all for the crime of calling her "honey" but I guess I'm just gate keeping now because no actual queer person would think using a gif from Ace Ventura was an own and I guess that's why we have ayylmao.tv as our Fandumb Overlord and V*rb*l A*e as our Fandumb Mascot because we've learned from the Voluntary Celibates for The Radio Demon how BUNDADDY Ashley Nichols taught y'all during her SMUT SALONS to be too afraid of THE MOIST to go out and Experience some ACTUAL HUMAN CUNT, COCK, AND PUSSY despite being SURROUNDED BY ALL THESE PUSSY CUNT CUNT CARTOON WOMEN AND FURFAGS AND ALL THEIR PUSSY CUNT CUNT DICKS AND VAMPIRIC HENTAI TESTICLES. DRACULA GOT REINCARNATED INTO ALUCARD GOT REINCARNATED INTO A DEER, IN A STORY WITHOUT ALL THE NAZIS, COPS, OR RAPE BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN BY A QUEER WOMEN, AND Y'ALL LET A STRAIGHT MAN PULLING A BLEEDMAN AND SIMPING NEO NAZI GAMERS BE LIKE: "I dont see why people want to fuck this character at all! UWU" AND THEN Y'ALL LISTENED TO A PEWDIEPIE ENJOYER MAKING A CLICK BAIT FARM OF A QUEER WOMAN'S ART AND YOU LET HIM BECOME THE FACE OF "HELLAVERSE" YOUTUBE MAKING "CONTENT" ABOUT "WORSE" CLICKBAIT BROS LATELY LIKE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ELON MUSK KEEPING DONALD TRUMP IN CHECK AND THEN I GUESS PETITPRINCESS1, V*RB*L A*E AND THAT OTHER V-TUBER BITCH I DON'T GIVE ABOUT JUST GET TO SHARE THE ONE KANYE WEST BRAINCELL-- THERE I SAID WHAT I SAID!

But this fandom space and the louder youtube fandumb space in general just makes it feel so unsafe to be a minority sometimes and I'm actually understanding why actual queer women and femmes with queer experiences outside the fandom, including actual kink and leather spaces, just cannot bring themselves to interact with it, or take it seriously as an Iconic Piece of Queer Media, despite Medrano's General Aesthetics and Good Choices being *SO* Objectively Pussy Cunt Cunt Slay! The fucking majority of the time.

Because hey, I can admit it, Medrano's Bad Choices ARE cringe, and her scorned ex crew members and the internet personas that tend to attract her attentions are even more so... And it sort of does bring down the mood a bit. But that's honestly just the consequence of being a young Scene Queen interacting with Fur Fags and Theater Kids the majority of her career so I can give her grace and forgive her.

The song 'Loser Baby' and these shows exist the way they do for a reason and I wouldn't change who Medrano is or her journey that brought her here for the the world.

And much like with Diablo Cody, and Jennifer's Body... First of all, I will be calling out the ableism Medrano lets Rogers write into her show sometimes, AND I'm not saying that Medrano herself has any control over the people marketing her shit, including her merch, or the people spreading misinfo she's sometimes maybe forced to interact with because of the environment that this creates, including incels monopolizing and monetizing anything having to do with her shit for their own gain ... BUT! That doesn't mean that while I suffer here I can't critique Medrano's Wider Fanbase and how it got like this because I do believe this youtube and vivziepaparazzi problem, with certain types of people having nothing better to do than re-posting and commentating on her every word.... All the time... IS a type of unfortunate trickle down by product of Medrano coming of age on the Internet in what was, at the time Metrosexual Scene Kid Fur Fag Central and thus today, because of everything she went through, her and her work can tend to attract another certain kind of lackadaisical person, for lack of a better term, who just does not give a single fuck about anything unless it offends them personally just because it gets "too political UWU" and makes *Insert Political Majority Here* "Uncomfortable" and "We should just all be here to enjoy the animation and sing Jambalaya blah blah blah bc antis bullied us into having a Victim Complex so now every 'Controversy' involving race, ability, gender or sexual orientation unless they're already considered 'degenerate' by cishet white male gamer dudebro standards is Invalid and any actual queer/femme in the fandom serving much more Queerer Pussy Cunt Cunt Looks and Opinions than we're used to by talking to the rest of like we're adults who don't need everything to be a SING-ALONG despite what Jim Carry and Jeff Bezos think? Well, that person MUST just be an Anti taking it too far and out to destroy the Community We Made out of Clickbait because she's being so Mean and Ruuuuuuuude~! UWU"

And honey, I'm just here to give y'all a Reality Check and spill that tea because any queer here is gonna opinions and Tell The Truth this Cunty it's the Crippled Girl who's Felt Personally Victimized by Brandon Rogers, has absolutely no parasocial relationship complex with Medrano whatsoever and thus can admit that she does have bad taste in (most) internet personalities (besides honestly Brandon) and that Sausage Party, Medrano's general affinity for DudeBro Humor that got Vaggie actually named "Vagina" and probably honestly brought a good chunk of her "DudeBro" fandumb over to help bronify the fandom (aside from maybe the actual can of worms hiring and retiring an actual brony and outted grommer probably opened..) Dear Evan Henson, and Owl City all suck... And while we're at it, Beetlejuice The Musical and the effect it had on the girlies in that fandom sucks too, but I like how it inspired Medrano so and I like what she did with it, so I'll give her that.

But you guys? The YouTube/Twitter Clickbait Incels and Femcels who think someone gayer than you going "Hon.." is an insult? I'm gonna give you one last read for the night from an An Inspiring Drag Creature...

Almost every single male voice actor in the Hazbin pilot just got replaced with someone hotter, nicer and more charming and attractive than them and y'all with extra hotties added on to the official cast and given their chance to shine and y'all complained about that. You COMPLAINED! Some retired pilot actors even went on twitter to encourage you by complaining about feeling insecure and unattractive in comparison too ... I realize that. 💀

But then Valentino's Official Voice Actor had to show up lying shirtless in bed on Twitter like G and tell y'all to calm down because basically for a lot of reasons, the wider fandumb space ain't giving Pussy, ain't giving Cunt, Ain't Giving Slay, and we love Stella, her brother, who's fucking her or badly wants to, Valentino, Crimson, and Striker here in Adult Land because their designs are Pussy Pussy Cunt Cunt Slay and all their voice actors are fucking hot too... I don't know how to word this without repeatedly empathizing one word multiple times but fictional written incest fiction and some pre- agreed upon fictional incest role play between two consenting and unrelated adults can be fucking hot too but some of y'all with your moistphobias just aren't ready for that very adult conversation and would flip your shits if the cookie actually crumbled like that in canon!

My name is Luna Worst, apparently...

In conclusion:

Can y'all tell I finally snapped, went off my shitz and pinched The Leprechaun today and do you think he's gonna turned me into gold? Meaning a monetized clickbait "explainer" video in which he calls me "Insane" because as a Thorny Irish Rose in a fandom where fools be kissing the blarney stone, making clickbait content farms off a Fiery Latina because they have no bitches of their own, I proudly claim it's my fight as a beautiful Irish Bitch to hold an Ugly Irish Arsehole giving Jason McGuire from Dark Shadows meets Perez Hilton meets That Creepy Reading or whateverthefuck accountable and finally kill the fucking bastard if I have to! :D

Merry Sinsmas, everyone! ;)

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, today Ive read chapters 9-12 and honestly, at a certain point reading this book while knowing all the spoilers stops being frustrating and starts just being funny. Like, Ianthe brings up the fact that people are gonna want to kidnap Feyre for "breeding" to which Tamlin says that no one is gonna dare do that to Prythian's Saviour because then theyll be on the shitlist of the other six courts, but Ianthe says that Rhysand could and would do it because hes The Most Powerful(tm) and hes really manipulative and yeah. shes right. Obviously I know this is gonna be treated as unreasonable and as foreshadowing of Ianthe being evil all along, but shes totally right

Anyway, Rhysand continues to be unbearably annoying but not in any particularly interesting way, so I dont really have anything to say about him. I hate how hes so powerful that six courts all working together would be no match for the night court and he comes across as sooooo insincere. Like, I often talk about not being the biggest Feylin fan because its pretty boring to me, but atleast it was like, sweet because of how genuine and endearingly awkward Tamlin was

Speaking of Tamlin, guess who just keeps getting worse and worse? I had some hope for him when he reduced the guards and gave Feyre more freedom, but then he doubled them again and he did that thing with the barrier around the manor so yeah. Now, if I wanted to be a pedantic asshole I could point out that he listened to Feyre (who managed to very clearly tell him what she needs at the moment, freedom, which was great) and they were doing fine until Rhysand came back, but as much as I would like to blame Rhysand for everything, Tamlin's actions are still his own. And honestly, I find Tamlin keeping any guards around Feyre after what she told him very unreasonable

I think keeping Feyre safe has become a coping mechanism for him because he couldnt protect her from Amarantha back then so now hes trying his best to protect her from Rhysand (and others, but mostly him rn) who was essentially Feyre's very own Amarantha, and obviously its not his fault that thats a coping mechanism he developed, but it is actively making Feyre upset and making it more difficult for her to heal as well, and hes the older one in this situation, hes the guy whos dealt with intense trauma before, he should be listening to her and giving her space

The only thing where I'll kinda take Tamlin's side is him locking her in the manor when he was going to the western border and Feyre wanted to follow them, but even then the force field was way too much. But also, to me it very much seemed like he and Lucien were in a hurry to leave and it was a very hasty spur-of-the-moment decision, but also it felt like the narrative was trying to demonise him more by impling that it was more of a calculated decision. Like, idk thats the vibe that Lucien explaining to Feyre that everyone but her could pass through the shield gave me, but that might just be a personal thing. I mean, Tamlin is clearly being demonised here either way, him being so unreasonable is something that I find very OOC even with the recent trauma hes experienced. But, theres a lot of buts in this paragraph i know, I do also want to acknowledge that Feyre would likely not have wanted to go with Tamlin to this conflict-zone if he had listened to her wayyyyyy earlier and not doubled the guards again. I recognize this kind of behaviour because I also felt like I had no agency over my situation in the past and Im also a very stubborn person, and it lead to me also doing more and more reckless things in an attempt to make the people around me actually listen, and make them understand how serious I was about getting out of the situation that was upsetting me

(In case youre worried, Im completely fine now and Im leaving out a lot of detail for the sake of my privacy and so I can draw a cleaner parallel)

Speaking of Feyre's agency, chapter 12 ended with her having a panic attack because she was trapped and then Mor and Rhysand showed up and Alis just gave them to her??? First of all, insane behaviour, second of all, I hate that Rhysand is meant to be the choice guy or whatever but wont wait for her to come of her own volition. I think it wouldve been better if she had that panic attack and it ran its course and then she either called for Rhys or Mor or managed to winnow to the night court herself and thats how she got there. Also, and this is part of the same issue, I hate that Rhys is the one who originally forced her to read. I think at some point Feyre shouldve realised that all the people in the spring court are withholding information from her but!, she realises that they write shit down sometimes and exchange messages and whatnot so knowing how to read could really help her here and maybe she even thinks about Rhysand taunting her about teaching her UTM, so next time shes at the Night Court she demands that she be taught how to read herself

Because honestly, right now it seems like she has the same amount of agency no matter what court shes in, which is basically none

I was gonna end it on that snappy one-liner, but then I remembered all the stuff with Feyre losing weight and how Rhys remarks upon it and how Feyre notices herself getting thinner as well and I dont have that much to say about it, I just wanted to say that it just made me incredibly uncomfortable

But yeah, now Im done for realsies

[manonamora-if]

i dont know if u feel up for it to answer but like... how do u handle negative comments and ratings and just people being negative about ur stuff? bc i have someone just being rude in comments or like notes and game folders on itch and its making me want to just delete everything and never show anyone anything anymore. or even have an acocunt on itch either.

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry you've been dealing with this, and that it took me so long to answer. I've been thinking about this for a while honestly. I've been writing a bunch of drafts for this one, because my answer seems to change with the day or my mood. Some of my stuff have had some strange interactions lately that's made me question whether I should stay on itch myself. I mean, I don't think I'll ever leave... there are too many fun jams I want to participate and, you know, to force people to play my weird stuff. But I've been more anxious about new stuff or updates I share recently.

I don't blame you for wanting an out. Some users will poison one's experience of a platform, that even opening the site would give them anxiety. It doesn't take much to have events or projects soured. Often, just a few rude words is enough to make accounts disappear without a word. And many platform don't have good safety nets (blocking, moderation, reports) to temper or avoid these situations. Many will have half-ass solutions that, at the end of the day, still allows interactions from blocked users. It's easy to wonder if all of this is worth it...

Anyway, the very boring and short answer to your question: it depends.

The probably as boring and long one is a bit of a ramble:

It depends on the day, or the mood I have. It's easier to deal with comments when I'm confident and things are going find; but I'd feel more hurt or have a harder time dealing with them when I'm a bit more morose (I think most people feel this way). I'll disregard any (even barely) negative points some days, only to take it into consideration a few days later. <- this especially during jam/comps time, just need time to digest criticism of any kind.

It also depends on the content of the comment, their tone, and intent of the commenter. Not all negative comments are on the same level. I've had negative comments in the past where the commenter was genuine, and really gave my stuff a shot, bringing interesting points or important concerns. And though it hurt a bit, because being told you made a mistake sucks, those helped me grow. But those are the good kinds of comments...

On the other hand, I try to disregard the trolls, and the abusive comments (towards my work or me), the ones where the engagement was clearly not done in good faith... you know, the ones who will literally tell me I've made the world worse by uploading my games on itch. Doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me at all*. Some of them really hurt or made me angry and frustrated, some have lingered for hours or days in my mind, a few made me close to delete stuff as well. Words are not just empty things without meaning... *I've had to block a few people both here and other places recently because of it, they had become so insistent on wanting to engage with me while bashing most of my work, my values or the few aspects of my identity that I've shared online.

It would be easy to say I just don't give them the time of day or any of my energy, or that I pretend they don't exist, because, if I do, then the trolls win. But that would be lying. Obviously.

Screaming to the void/a pillow or ranting to friends have helped get rid of my anger and frustration. I've laughed with others about some comments I got (usually the bad faith ones, some of them are funny in how sad/bad they were). I think what worked best for me was just turn off the computer and go outside for a bit. Or turned off the internet and play silly games on my phone. Or picked up a book. Or watch a movie. Essentially, any activity that would distract me from it and force me to take a break. And when none of this worked, because some trolls are just that insistent, blocking/deleting stuff*. *unfortunately, it's not always possible, see second paragraph again.

It does suck that you're kinda forced to grow a thicker skin to enjoy or even exist in those spaces, and I wish those would be friendlier... but I don't think social platforms/the internet is going in that direction anytime soon.

Maybe not super helpful to your decision, but borogove.io hosts IF games (without ratings or comments, though people can download the files), so does the IFDB through the IFArchive (but there are ratings/reviews there, also can be downloadable). I've seen other peeps host their stuff on neocities (no ratings/comments). None of those platforms are like itch, in the positives or the negative. Or just be old school, and email stuff.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thank you so much for the Jason review rec list! It motivates me to start reading his comics, tbh. It helps tremendously that you put so many details of his characterization in it, because it prepares me of the way hes written in it! :D I do have a question, which is: in your opinion, which of runs have the most consistent writing/characterization? Ive heard that hes written.. very inconsistently bcs they dont know how to write him (wont let him be an anti-hero or challenge batman, which also brings me to another question on what counts as his true characterization; is it him before the n52 reboot?) Thank you!

I'm really glad to hear that! I hope you have lots of fun exploring Jason comics :D

Wow are both of those questions very difficult to answer! But I shall do my best to under the cut!

Most runs are very internally consistent with regards to his characterization. Jason will stay mostly the same throughout the run, or have an actual character arc that keeps him feeling like the same character throughout.

Batman and Robin (2009) is a notable because Jason is written by two different authors in it, and Grant Morrison's Jason and Judd Winick's Jason have very different vibes.

What people usually mean when they say he's written inconsistently is that every author has a different take on what Jason should be like, and they all have a different idea about what kind of story they want to tell using him.

Judd Winick read Hush and thought something along the lines of "Wow this story would have been so much better if Jason had actually been the one behind everything that happened here!" and so he wrote Under the Red Hood, and made Jason into Evil Batman: someone with all of Batman's methods and techniques, yet without the commitment not to kill and with a serious thirst for vengeance.

Grant Morrison wanted a much more traditional Batman villain. Villains who blame Bruce for all their problems despite Bruce not actually being at fault and then killing people about it are pretty common. Morrison took that idea and used Jason to fit this mold in a new era where Bruce was gone and Dick Grayson took up the Batman mantle.

Scott Lobdell wanted a story about redemption and healing and family. So Jason gets repeatedly paired with other people to care for or to love and shown parallels in his own life that force him to confront his own unwillingness to forgive and become a much, much gentler person.

The authors of The Man Who Stopped Laughing were faced with the challenge of finding a suitable antagonist for the Joker. Jason is a character with enough of a violent streak to actually be menacing to the embodiment of all evil that is the Joker. But that requires bringing out that murderous streak, and thereby countering Lobdell's characterization.

Which of these is the true characterization?

None of them.

All of them.

One True Characterization can't exist in comics. Especially not DC comics which has a policy of almost routinely destroying their entire multiverse and building it back up from scratch.

Every character's personality is an aggregate of all the different stories that have been told about them. Those stories are told by dozens of different people, in a constantly shifting setting, full of characters who are also written by dozens of different people. What is and isn't canon changes constantly. All you can do is read a bunch of comics and get the general vibe of a character from that.

Jason's characterizations in particular have been so widely different that it's hard to figure out what exactly you should count as being true to him.

The reason many people may point to pre-new52 comics as 'true' characterization is that an important part of characterizing is keeping in mind the events the character has gone through and how those might impact their thinking and worldview. During the time span of around 1980-2009 DC comics were written such that it was pretty easy to make a timeline of events for any given character. Post-new52 I and many others find it nearly impossible to tell what history any of the characters have.

In between 2009 and now there have been at least two or three reboots. So, for any comic passed 2009 here is a list of questions about Jason that I can't answer:

Has Jason ever been to prison?

Did Jason fight Tim in Titan's Tower?

Was the Red Robin identity originally held by Jason?

Did Jason ever attempt to be Batman?

Has Jason actually stabbed Tim before?

Did Jason ever shoot Damian and Dick?

Does Jason remember the time he spent multiverse hopping with Donna Troy and Kyle Raynor?

Did he ever have tentacles?

Does he know that Dick has killed people? For that matter: Has Dick killed anyone?? Did Blockbuster ever exist??? Is that time he killed the Joker counted as canon still????

Did Jason ever kidnap Mia Dearden?

How many people has Jason killed? I can't even tell you if he's killed less or more than 100

Did the All-Caste thing happen?? Did Lost Days happen???

Was he involved in Hush?

These are really important questions! The list does not stop there either!

This uncertainty does not invalidate the newer comics, but the nature of the reboots does mean that the already difficult task of getting a 'true Jason' is impossible. You have to take every reboot as a reboot, meaning that new-52 Jason and Rebirth Jason and 2005-2009 Jason are literally alternate universe versions of each other. This is both true on a meta level, and has been written into the canon of the fictional world he lives in. Arguing that one is more real than the other is futile.

(Though it does mean that if you want a stable timeline, starting with 2005-2009 era comics is a good idea. It's easier to follow along with what is supposed to have happened and when. It also contains the majority of the events that fandom likes to play off of.)

The versions I like best reside mostly in the 2005-2009 era, and that's true for most of the other Jason fans that I follow on Tumblr, but I know of a few blogs who much prefer Rebirth Jason and neither of us can definitively prove that one Jason or the other is more valid or canon or true or whatever.

Most arguments about which Jason is the true Jason will just come down to personal preference anyways. Many, many people could write essays, pulling up sources and comic panels, to argue very effectively that I'm wrong about Brothers In Blood and Batman and Robin (2009) #1-#6 being in character for him. That's okay. It's cool even! The fact that he is messy and complicated and can be interpreted so many different ways is great! As you read, you'll find out which versions appeal to you best and they might be very different than mine!

My biggest advice is to read each author's rendition of Jason with an open mind, and an open heart, and just see if you like it!

Don't worry about searching out the real Jason. Just vibe with the stories that have been made about him and think about how each appeals or doesn't appeal to you. If you start reading, you'll develop an understanding of him. Your personal interactions with the art/stories will always be more valuable than figuring out the fan or authorial consensus about him.

[druidposting]

On the Value of Using Real World Political Allegory to Analize Fictional/Fantasy Political Structures

Figured i should just make my own post on this subject instead of trying to explain it in the comments of other people's posts.

For starters, i completely understand the distaste for bringing "politics" into discussions on escapist media. It can be boring as hell and you can get bogged down with details REAL fast if you dont know hpw to articulate your points. But that doesnt mean its invaluable, or something that ought to be avoided in discussions or metas - i think rather that a solid ability to draw parallels between irl politics and the politics of media you enjoy can help make your media literacy more robust, as well as give you a better understanding of politics in general.

When you draw these parallels, you have to be able to recognize sociological and historical patterns in groups of people throughput the world in order to understand what political attributes youre likening to the ones you think are occuring in the media youre analyzing. Im gonna use CR campaign 3 as my example here because its discussion is what inspired me to make this post in the first place.

A while back, I made a handful of posts about how and why i believed Ludinus' Ruby Vanguard could be likened to modern right wing populism (for instance, the maga movement). This was around the time that the solstice had just occured, and we'd gotten to see a little bit more into the workings of the Vanguard as a political movement, as well as Ludinus' whole evil villain speach before flipping the bridge switch. Those few episodes in the Tishtan tite were the biggest sirens for me in concluding that the Vanguard was a right wing populist allegory, but you could see the first signs even before then, when the Hells interogated that member with Ryn's help.

At the time of making those posts, id seen some dissagreement with the comparison to phony populism, specifically because there wasnt yet any evidence that Ludinus was doing outreach, or trying to pull in the common man - thus, the Ruby Vanguard should be likened more to a cult than a big populist movement.

But what is a fake populist movement if not a cult at a broader scale?

Fundamentally, cults are built on the backbones of lies told by a strongman leader in order to hold power over their people. And while looking at them throughout history, it's kind of hard to know where to draw the line on what movement is or isnt a cult (as it turns out, almost all definitions that try to capture specifics about social processes are very nebulous and riddled with caveats), but you could absolutly describe the Ruby Vanguard as a cult! Just as I beleive you can describe the american MAGA movement as a cult - and you can also describe both as fake populism. I truly think the only difference between cults vs fake populists is the scale at which theyre able to bring in people.

In regards to the broader comparison between irl right wing populism vs Ludinus', the way i saw it at the time was is like this;

You have a large population of politically disseffected or politically unknowledgable people who are upset about the current state of the world.

For MAGA, literally 50% of americans fell into this. Its not uncommon - which is why theyre such a great group to prey on if you want to bolster support for a fake cause.

For Ludinus, it seems theres a large population of Exandrians upset that the gods wont answer their every prayer, or frustrated with their lot in life and are able tp find blame in the current world regime (ie. The gods). We saw this with the first Ruby Vanguard member the Hells ever encountered, when they interogated him with Ryn - the guy was miserable about his life and the state of the world. These kinds of people are PRIME targets for faux populist rhetoric, and this was the first big red flag to me that this was the kind of thing the Vanguard would be built on.

A charismatic strongman swoops in to appeal to the frustrations of the above people to pose as the leader of the movement.

MAGA had Trump. Say what you will about the man (and i will say a lot), but he had undeniable charisma. This is a HALLMARK of fake populism.

The Vanguard obviously have Ludinus. Again, say what you will, but he seems to be capturing the hearts and minds of the commonfolk.

The things this leader says to appeal to the common man are lies, often presented as surface-level truths. When you really analize their proposed solutions though, theyre either internally contradictory, dont solve anything, or imperically will cause more harm than whats been the status-quo.

Not even gonna substantiate this with the MAGA movement because if you think theres anything good in there you shpuld unfollow me now

Ludinus preaches that all exandrians will be free of the gods, while failing to mention that the method of freeing is an unknown god-eater. Will the whole world be swallowed? Will the god-eater become the new god? This information is conveniently unmentioned by Ludinus, and theres a lot more regarding the whole god situation he's lying about or painting over, too.

Finally, the main thing that typically propells a cult-like movement into being populist-like is a big catalyst event that propells their leader's message into the mainstream.

For MAGA, i think you can chock this up to Trump as a person. The media went CRAZY with him because of how unlike every other candidate on stage was - this bolstered his voice and his ability to preach to the masses, and him subsequently taking the presidency propelled him into the stratosphere.

For Ludinus, this was VERY obviously the Maleus Key being turned on. An event seen across continents, paired with Ludinus' message being beamed into the heads of every exandrian on earth. Before this event, you could predict that the Ruby Vanguard would become a faux populist movement. This was the event that basically confirmed the hypothesis for me.

And, now that we've been able to see hpw expansive the efforts pf the Vanguard have been to draw common folk into the cause, much like right-wing populist efforts, you can even more plainly see the allegory. But as mentioned before, even without seeing explicit scenes of hologram Ludinus popping up in city squares to preach his word, or learning of the countless common folk drawn in to the cause with the hopes of a better life than their own sad lonely ones, you could use examples of very similar political movements irl in order to pretty acuratly predict where the Vanguard's movement was headed.

I'd like to extrapolate this a little further. In those same posts a while ago, I'd also theorized that Ludinus is aiming to become god-emperor of Exandria, and this is for the simple reason that this is a fundamental desire of many real world leaders like him.

With regards to populist revolutionary movements (and a revolution is undeniably what Ludinus is gearing for), you'll see there are two kinds of ways in which the leaders lie to their followers.

This one you see quite often with specifically vanguardist revolutionary movements, in which the leader knowingly lies to their masses, but in service of a greater "truth" they believe in. They beleive that in order to acheive what they truly think will be a greater world, they must lie and do bad things in order to get there

The other kind of leader lies in service of acheiving greater power for themself. There is no real "greater good" theyre fighting for, no better world on the other side. At the root of their being, they simply want to become god-emperors by any means necessary. This kind of person is very megalomaniacal and narcissistic, and will do anything for applause from the people following them. This is the kind of leader Trump is, for instance.

Admittedly, we dont really have concrete proof that Ludinus is one way or the other in terms of how it is he lies to his followers, but i believe that he is more of the narcissistic megalomaniac style of leadership, and we'll be seeing more and more evidence of this as time goes on. It takes a true narcissist to believe they can kill god, let alone a whole PANTHEON. I also beleive that even if a leader starts out as the former, they will inevitably slip into the latter over time (take the USSR for example). When you hold such uncontested power over so many people, given enough time that power will go to your head.

Something you also see a in history, is when the leader of a vanguard populist movement aftually succeeds in their revolution, the leader then becomes a megalomaniacal dictator, again, seeking to be god-emperor of the universe. The obvious examples of this are the Soviet Union and Mao's China.

Furthermore, Ludinus is a smart guy. He absolutly has to know that killing all the gods is going to create a MASSIVE power vacuum over Exandria. He then also has to know that someone's gonna fill that vacuum, and he sure as hell hasnt posited any suggestions for how the Vanguard might go about making sure an even more oppressive system of power isnt instantly installed in the gods' place. And with as narcissistic as this man has to be, would he not think himself the most appropriate person to fill that position? Why work so hard for so long on this insane centuries long plan to rid the world of the gods?

One answer is that he truly believes its for the greater-good. This answer would be the one in which Ludinus quietly fades away into the background once the gods are dead, letting the world carry on unchained as he believes it was meant to.

The other answer is that he realized that when that power vacuum opens up, he will have put himself in the perfect position to take control over everything, thus becoming god-emperor of Exandria.

But yeah, as long-winded as this all was, you can kind of see how exercises like this can really help with media analysis and understanding the motivations of characters, or making predictions on where certain threads or story beats might be going. As humans, we are fundamentally social creatures - does it not make sense, then, that the stories we tell would be woven with the essences of social structure? And whats more fundamentally social than politics?