#but that actually didn’t affect my enjoyment :D

[jeonstellate]

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[hello-nichya-here]

My thoughts on Netflix’s Wednesday - Season One

(Minor spoilers)

The Good

The Main Character - This was the point that could have killed the show if they had gotten it wrong. I loved how Jenna Ortega played the character, most of the writting for her ranged from great to at least okay, and the aesthetic was perfect. The morbid interests and dark humor were spot on, and she managed to stay true to the character’s “cold” demeanor even in scenes where she is happy, sad or angry. 

Protective Big Sister - I loved seeing how much Wedsnesday and Pugsley cared about each other, even with her being “emotionless.” So many people forget that her “torturing” him is really a way of showing affection, so it was nice to not only have him say he missed being waterboarded, but also have her go out of her way to defend him when he was actually being mistreated. It is a shame that he wasn’t in more of the episodes. I think the show would have been better focusing on Wednesday, but still having her little brother going to the same school as her, so they could interact more.

A Helping Hand - While it would have been nice to have Pugsley form a trio with them, Thing and Wednesday as a duo was a lot of fun. The show really did a good job at making him very expressive and with a ton of personality, even though he is just a hand (who is allowed to tell people to go fuck themselves now, so thanks for that, Netflix). The scars were a cool touch, the effect was good, and they made the right call by NOT explaining why/how he is alive - and even going as far as making it so even the current Addams don’t really know it either.

Seriously, I could make a post all about how much I love Thing, not just in this version, but in the comics, 60′s show, and 90′s movies. It’s absurd how charismatic a HAND can be. I cannot believe THE most emotional scene in the entire show was all about him, and I 1000% bought it. 

Points for the actors for making it believable that they can understand him, bond with him, be annoyed at him, or scared of it, because half of Thing’s performance is on the people reacting to him - again, gotta hand it (hehehe) to Jenna Ortega since she interacted with him the most, and I never questioned how this was happening or that he was family to her.

Daddy’s Girl - Gomez calling Wednesday things like his “little scorpion” and her assuring him that he was a good dad was really sweet, and it was his best scene in the whole show.

Proud Mama - There’s something too cute about Morticia loving to see her little girl digging a grave.

The Cello Scenes - They were dramatic and cool and made Wednesday happy. Everything I could ask for. Obviously, the best one has to be her playing it while causing mayhem at a celebration to a pilgrim - it just reminded me of that epic scene of the Thanksgiving play in Addams Family Vallues.

Her Friends - It is always nice when the normal (or not so normal) people bond with the Addams, and I love Wednesday’s struggle to understand/experience emotion while bonding with them.

Uncle Fester - Pretty much everything about his part on the show was great, I loved him bickering with Thing and spending some quality time with Wednesday, and it was cool that they actually used his power to conduct electricity in a way that was both useful to the story AND funny.

Morbid Fun -  Obligatory for any minimally decent story that involves the Addams. Personal favorites have to be Wednesday’s birthdays, her making her roommate pass out by being too excited to talk about violent murders, and her trying to murder the swim team with piranhas because no one tortures her brother except for her.

Nods To Past Incarnations Of The Addams - They put a big, dumb smile on my face whenever I spotted them. There was just the right amount to pay sweet homages without it getting annoying or too meta. 

Christina Ricci - I can’t be objective about this. Her character didn’t always work, but I love Christina, and she can make even the dumbest parts sound either convincing or at least enjoyably bad (especially her defending herself from angry bees by shooting them, Florida Man style). It is also great to see her and Jenna play off of each other on screen. My brain sometimes forgot that I wasn’t seeing two Wednesdays interacting. 

The Narration - Any opportunity for Wednesday’s dry, dark humor is a win in my books.

The Bad

The Narration (Again) - When they use it for a generic detective monologue to make the cliff-hangers more “important”, it kind of ruins the vibe. 

Mommy Issues - Really? THE ADDAMS FAMILY has a problem of the parents expecting the kids to follow on their foot-steps, regardless of their wishes and explicit verbal objections? REALLY? The family whose whole deal is “Happier than all the normies because they actually LISTEN and appreciate each other the way they are?” Fuck off!

Even in things like the 90′s movies, when they send the kids to summer camp, they only do it because they were tricked into thinking that’s what Wednesday and Pugsley want, and when their baby magically turns normal, they’re not happy but try to adapt for his sake. You can’t force the Addams Family into a typical family drama and play it straight, it just flat out doesn’t work and goes against the very core idea of the characters.

The Tone/Teen Drama -   I was going to put this on the Meh category, but it got annoying real fast, especially when centered around characters that were not as interesting or well written as Wednesday - who like I said, was already struggling to make that shit work. 

The Addams Family started as satire. It’s strengths are on THAT genre. It can be light-hearted, or morbid, but it has to be funny and not take itself too seriously, even when taking the drama up to eleven. The show really should have kept that in mind. I’m not saying there were no fun moments, but they played the drama too straight in some situations, and by doing so they leaned on the character’s weakenesses.

Gomez & Morticia’s (Lack Of) Chemistry - This one is painful for me to write. Gomez and Morticia are one of the best, if not THE best, couples in any media, so to have an adaptation in which every declaration of their undying love for each other feels fake is just sad. We even had an entire episode focused on what was supposed to be a super romantic moment for them, and I was counting the seconds for it to be over. If it had been Angelica and Raul, or Carolyn and John, it would have been the most romantic thing ever, even with...

The “Gomez Might Be A Murderer” Plot - Really? Gomez and Morticia never told ANYONE about the time he let people believe he was a “murderer” (it was self-defense for God’s sake) out of love for Morticia? Not even to their eldest child, who mutilated and nearly killed people to protect her brother?

And come on, WEDNESDAY is shocked that her dad might have killed someone? WHY were the Addams taking that shit so seriously? Their family tree has ALL kinds of lunatics, killers, and psychopaths, plenty of which were either locked away forever or brutally murdered, and they CELEBRATE IT. Why are they ashamed/scared now, and ONLY for this plot, which was so banal it was resolved IN A SINGLE EPISODE?

This was completely out of place, to the point that if someone told me this idea was meant for some regular teen drama, was never used, and the writers just slapped a supernatural aspect to it as the last second to force it into this story.

Random “Woke” Lines/Plot - Netflix, stop trying to pretend you give a shit about things like oppression and bigotry, or at least get better at pretending you care. It’s so fucking fake and distracting, it completely took me out of the show, though thankfully it wasn’t that frequent, and was often dropped almost right away - but it just highlights how out of place it is. 

Again, one of the few moments that actually worked was Wednesday playing the cello while she burns everything down, especially because that one also had the aspect of “Don’t force Wednesday to do things if you’re not ready for her to retaliate and then rub some harsh truths in your face” 

Gomez’s Kiss Sounds - WHY? JUST WHY? My autistic ass couldn’t stand that shit.

Zeta Jones’s Morticia Voice - What happened here? Did she try something and no one had the heart to tell her it wasn’t working, or did Tim Burton force her to do it? Who should I blame for this? I want answers.

The Ugly

The CGI - Plenty of it looked bad, but the monster in particular was fucking hideous, like holy shit, couldn’t Netflix have TRIED a little? That was part of why the serious tone of some scenes didn’t work - HOW am I supposed to take that fake-ass shit as a threat? Thing could have been the stuff of nightmares if he wanted to, while this poor fucker couldn’t scare an infant.

Morticia’s Look - Who the fuck was responsible for this? I’d like to have a word with them. Was the budget REALLY so short that they had to dress Zeta Jones up in a crappy Halloween costume they found at the last second? The dress didn’t suit her, the make up could have been improved, and the wig looked ridiculously fake. Sometimes the lighting also made things worse. I’m not asking for a Bela Lugosi effect on her eyes like the 90′s movies, but still, they could have put some care into it.

Gomez’s Look - Not quite as bad as Morticia’s, but still not great. I’ll give them points for trying to be faithful to the original comics’ design, but they went a little too far with it, and it got uncanny - not the good kind, like Uncle Fester. At least it just looked weird instead of cheap.

The Meh

We Have Hogwarts At Home - The school and all of it’s drama just wasn’t weird enough to be cool, or normal enough to clash with Wednesday. I think the short number of episodes really limited how much the writers could explore the other students’ powers - for fuck’s sake, they have a kid who can make his drawings come to life, that’s cool as hell, but it comes up ONCE.

The Love Triangle - Did ANYONE like this? Even Jenna Ortega said it sucked. I guess, if you put a gun to my head, I’d pick Tyler to be with Wednesday, but I really think the romance wasn’t needed, and it took me four episodes to be able to tell the guys apart. The only thing I’ll say, is that is not as bad as the fandom as a whole claims it is - either that or I’ve seen so many worse love triangles that this one looked better in contrast. Regardless, points for them.

The Mystery - I don’t fucking care. It got obvious, repetitive, and convoluted real fast. It was just harmless enough that I could turn off my brain while watching. 

Conclusion

This wasn’t the worst adaptation/remake with the Addams Family’s characters, but it was also far from the best, which is a shame because it has potential. I’ll probably not rewatch this season, but I will at least give season 2 a chance and hope that they fix some of the show’s problems. 

I know it will still be a mystery, but it might be a better one, and perhaps it won’t take too much time away from the best part of the show: just seeing Wednesday going about her day, doing weird or straight up evil shit, awkwardly interacting with normal people and bonding with them, then introducing her new friends to the loving, fun insanity that is her iconic family when they show up to visit her.

[chilling-in-the-void-alone]

I want to make pathetic rambles about the distortion for a second,, so I’m gonna do that 👍 (if you don’t like “critique” (barely that) for the common neon colours portrayal of the distortion just scroll past I guess?)

While I am an enjoyer of the neon eye-scorching distortion/spiral,,, I won’t argue its fun to draw and its fun to look at. But it honestly isn’t how I imagined the distortion and I want to ramble about how I imagined it (before fandom changed it a bit for me I guess??) I imagined it as slightly off desaturated warm colours if that makes sense. Like the colours you find on your grandparents floral sofa, but off. Like colours that should look nice together but they are just slightly the wrong hue and saturation and end up clashing when put together. Kind of like a long hallway with warm lights that end up warping the colour of the wallpaper into something just slightly different.

(Maybe its just that I’ve been thoroughly affected by the horribly long hallway to my therapists office,, it could have come out of a horror story, one day I’ll write something based on it lol). Now for my “reasoning” eg I want to dissect why I got these vibes from the statements about the distortion. 

So in Helen’s statement (Mag 47: The New Door), which I’m pretty sure is the first time we get to know what is in the hallways properly, “the walls were papered over in a swirling green pattern. Running down the middle of the faded yellow carpet was a rug, black and thick”, the colours just read as off for me here, it does rely on the green I’m imagining but yeah weird desaturated colours that don't fit together. 

There’s also the general ties to childhood/nostalgia?? that it has a couple times, I’m not actually sure if that was intentional (as many other statements regarding the distortion don’t have this but oh well some did and I latched onto it I guess)

One statement that stands out to me is ‘Mag 146: Threshold’ with the distortion following the statement giver since childhood. The vibe of the first segment of the statement with the skipping rope, has the kind of feeling I’m talking about, "I look over, and in the weak orange glow of my nightlight, I can see the heavy wooden handle of my skipping rope moving slowly across the floorboards" its hard to find a quote that really works for it that doesn't just include me copying and pasting the first segment but yeah that part is what I'm talking about.

As I've said before, the colours you find on your grandparents floral sofa, sun bleached from time and just slightly off from what it looked like originally, currently being affected by the orange light of the kitchen in the evening before being picked up. you know, nostalgia.

Or (can't forget my favorite person to subject my friends to rambles about) Michael Shelley and how he was affected by the incident of his his friend getting taken by "something like [the distortion]" (Mag 101: Another Twist) during his childhood which caused the whole domino affect with the institute and The Great Twisting. 

It’s Warped nostalgia I guess?

Generally, I find it all really interesting seeing other peoples interpretations of how things look and such, as tma is a podcast. I guess I just wanted to throw my hat in the ring for how I imagined the distortion 👍 and explain why I think I imagined what I did during my first listening :D

also I didn't mean for this to get so long, apparently instead of writing my comparative essay I wrote this instead

[azulawriting]

I’m ambivalent on the ship wars, and here’s why

I probably shouldn’t be even writing this because the ship wars are back at it again with the new anime season, and my opinion will probably not make either side happy.

Full disclosure, up until very recently, I was an anime-only person when it came to Bleach. I watched the filler, but not the movies because of all the flack I got for watching non-canon content. Bleach has always been a “niche” series in my area, so you can imagine that it’s not that I didn’t want to read the manga back when I watched the show on TV and over some websites of dubious legality. Once the anime was over, I naturally found ways to read the manga from that point on. 

I assumed that the anime was basically a 1-to-1 adaptation of the manga, save for the fillers. And, like many fans back when TYBW was ongoing, had my gripes on how rushed the ending came. Mind you, by the time Bleach as a manga ended, I was already a full-on weeb and I had read/watched many other shows. The magic that had captured 11-year-old me into this universe was growing thin by some of the rushed and lack-of what I thought to be key points for the arc to develop. As much as it’s interesting to have Ichigo be part Quincy, having little to no explanation as to why Uryu decided to be part of the Sternritters was…disappointing. There were good things, but by the point the final chapters were rolling by, my enjoyment of Bleach as a whole became dependent on what the ending ships became. Is it petty? Sure, but I wouldn’t go as low as to burn tomes of Bleach for not having my way.

As an anime-only, I will say this: The anime makes an extremely clear point that Orihime’s affection is completely one-sided. At no point did I get the impression that Ichigo would reciprocate her feelings, and my perception of that didn’t change much in the manga. Although I thought it was good for Orihime’s character to have Ichigo acknowledge that she can fight by his side. But as I said, at the time, I was full on board with IchiRuki and that single moment wasn’t going to suddenly change my perspective.

So, did something change?

Yes, but no(?) 

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate IchiRuki for being a ship that appeals to my idealistic view of romance: a close relationship where two people build each other up and don’t give up on each other no matter what. I’m starting to finally read the manga and so far, I’ve barely reached the Fake Karakura Town arc. I won’t say I suddenly see the error in IchiRuki, and bend down to the canon for making total sense and being obvious from day 1. But I can safely say that I can see why some people are so adamant to say that IchiHime was the right end-game ship. My problem so far with it is that although I can’t definitively say Ichigo doesn’t care about Orihime as more than a friend, I can’t be sure it’s a hundred per cent non-platonic. I don’t have the panels fresh on my mind, but I do get that when Orihime’s captured, we see Ichigo get more reckless and distant with his actual friends and hurt them because he “doesn’t trust them”. I can easily take this as Ichigo caring particularly for Orihime….but I have nothing similar to compare it to. When Rukia was captured, he had a similar reaction, but we didn’t see the breakdown in his friendship with say Tatsuki, because to everyone but Chad, Uryu and Orihime, Rukia stopped existing. I’d argue I was surprised more at how Ishida was way more concerned than usual and wanted to go out on his lonesome to rescue Orihime himself. That’s something I would read as inherently more open to a romantic interpretation given what we know of Ishida’s character thus far. The anime adapted the scene between Uryu and Urahara (I think), but after an entire season of filler, this little moment felt less significant to me than it did when I read it.

But I digress.

So far the only moment where I can safely say that Ichigo did prioritize Orihime is when Ulquiorra admits to having manipulated her into coming to Hueco Mundo. You’re free to interpret it as definitive proof or some indication of Ichigo’s feelings, but I’m not completely sold on it. Again, his sole reason for being there is to save her and prove Soul Society’s assessment of her actions to be incorrect. You can call it nitpicking, but, you gotta understand that, to me, Ichigo is somebody who would probably fight to the death for any of his friends. It takes a lot for me to try to get hints of romantic behaviour from him versus just platonic camaraderie.

Another thing that, while reading the Hueco Mundo in particular, doesn't sell me into IchiHime is how Orihime thinks of Ichigo’s hollow powers as “not her Ichigo”. She is right in saying that White Ichigo is not really him, but it is still something that’s part of him. I can’t say for sure that it’s clear that Rukia would accept it and be cool with it, I don’t think that’d be right considering her story with Kaien. However, the key difference is that if nothing else, Rukia was the one to shake Ichigo’s dread over his power off him. Orihime freezes and is rightly terrified of it, going so far as to no longer believe or want Ichigo to win against Grimmjow the moment he puts the mask on. It takes Nel to snap her out of it. I wonder how this attitude will affect Orihime for his final fight with Ulquiorra. Because if that chapter(s) is anything like its anime equivalent, I think it paints quite a grim picture of the dynamics of the two. At the very least, it’d make Orihime really start reconsidering her feelings for him if what just defeated her captor is “not her Ichigo”. If “not her Ichigo” is the only side of him that would rise to protect her, is her affection for him ever going to bloom and positively change him?

And before you think I’m stating that I’m still anti-IchiHime, this same train of thought lead me to recontextualize that moment in TYBW where Ichigo asks Orihime to fight by his side. Considering the manga thus far, I would be open to interpreting that moment in the final chapters as a romantic moment between the two. But I still have a lot of reading to do. As I’m writing this, I’m in the middle of chapter 328. I don’t know if I’ll make other posts updating my thoughts on the manga as I keep reading. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been on Tumblr and this post is probably gonna die, buried under hundreds of more active accounts.

Nevertheless, there you have it. I’m honestly a bit ambivalent about the ship wars. I can see excellent reasons for both ships to exist. I don’t ship IchiHime, but I get you guys who do. You aren’t crazy. I still don’t think that what I got thus far would sell me into thinking the end-game ships make 100% sense, but now I can’t say that IchiHime is completely baseless. It has something. Kubo may be pardoned for that. Shonen romances aren’t usually great and deep anyhow.

What I don’t excuse Kubo for is making Kazui that much of a psycho in the hell chapter. I don’t care if he was tricked or not, his parents should know better. I mean…come on, it’s Ichigo’s son. His spiritual pressure must be monstrous and he couldn’t have learnt to be a shinigami that young on his own. It’s completely OOC for both Orihime and Ichigo to not give two damns about where their kid goes and just slap him on the wrist for sneaking out at night and doing whatever. Namely sending souls to hell.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Howdy! I would like a Match-Up? 👀

•I'm queer, genderqueer (though I also use the label "gendervoid" interchangeably) and my pronouns are fluer/void/it (not in ordered of preference). My fashion leans towards androgynous and masculine.

•I am 5'0" and fat. I am blond and have blue eyes. I wear glasses.

•I am kindhearted, shy, introverted, and heavily procrastinate. I am also overly-empathic, though I don't forgive easily and can be petty at times. I am easily amused and will laugh at most things. I struggle with reading people's emotions and can be extremely dense with stuff like crushes.

•Enjoyer of cuddles and physical affection as long as I am aware of it before it happens (suprise touches can be a bit overwhelming most of the time).

•Lover of reading. Favorite book series of all time is Percy Jackson and I'm currently reading Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo.

•Favorite animated series at the moment is The Owl House (highly upset at the cancellation of it).

•Lover of cats. Though I also really like insects (and spiders), snakes, and bats as well as other creepy crawlies.

•Knowledgable of music theory. Current favorite music artists are Mitski and The Arcadian Wild.

•Lover of writing though I have a nasty habit of starting a story, abandoning it, and then starting another story. I do get frustrated at myself for this though.

•My favorite video games are Red Dead Redemption 2, Minecraft, and Unpacking. Though while I have never played it, Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch has a special place in my heart. I also enjoy watching people play video games.

•I occasionally struggle with derealization and moments of paranoia. Most of the time I can ground myself, but sometimes I do need assistance.

•I highly suspect that I have ADHD.

•When someone tells me about their struggles my immediate instinct is to give them advice/solutions on to fix their struggles even if it might not be the right call.

•I heavily dislike unexpected change or change that isn't caused by me. Lover of routine and the constant everyday.

•Comfort food is spicy chicken sandwiches. Comfort drink is water.

•The cryptid I only actually care about is Mothman, but I don't believe he is real (unfortunately).

Hopefully this enough info!

(Got it all down!)

Match-Up #16

-I match you with Geten-

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-The two of you really wanted nothing to do with each other when you met. It was because of Re Destro that you two are a thing today. When it first began, the old man had upset the both of you. You were working for Detnerat for about 2 years and Geten…well I’m sure we know the length. You’ve interacted but ONCE or twice the entire time you’d been there. The both of you displayed your own versions of shyness and introversion. Re Destro noticed how calm Geten was with you on both of those occasions compared to his usual demeanor with the others. You were very kindhearted and he knew that would do a world of good for Geten in the long run. And wouldn’t you know it? That old man got a lightbulb in his head and decided right away that he could play cupid. He basically forced you to be with Geten on work projects for both Detnerat and the Liberation Army as a whole. You were already upset considering it was a change in your usual routine, and Geten was upset having someone teamed up with him. He said he didn’t want to be seen as weak or having needed any help with what he was doing. You can imagine the delight in Re Destro’s eyes when you two had finally fallen for each other. It only took about a year or more lol.

-He’s really hot and cold in the relationship. He says one thing but really means something entirely different. You suspect that he’d be a God at opposite day! Although he claims he wants nothing to do with silly romantic gestures, the ice gremlin is lying. He’s capable of giving you a wide variety of space but he tends to get lonely. Although he won’t speak on it, he’ll definitely show it when he trudges into the room and silently demands cuddles with you. If it were up to him, he’d cuddle with you 24 hours straight really. It’s not like you’d mind considering you tend to procrastinate. Don’t worry, he’s good at helping you manage that...in a mean way sometimes but don’t take it personally if he tells you to get off your ass and work. This might happen with your writing if you choose to abandon it and he finds out. I swear it’s only coming from a place of love with him.

-Night and Day with the two of you. Your overly empathic personality was fully different from him. Where you wanted to pour yourself out to help others, he often gave an ‘every man for himself’ speech. Even during arguments you displayed your kindness to him, which made him guilty and apologize first (it’s up to you if you forgive him). Sometimes when he was too stubborn to apologize, you got petty with him. He told you multiple times that being too soft could make someone see you as a target. That boy probably did nothing good when it came to your paranoia. At the same time, he liked it when you were soft with only him. He often caught himself smiling when he watched you laughing at some dumb joke he would’ve otherwise deemed not funny. He finds himself smiling when he watches you enjoying your favorite media whether it be books, music, or video games. (If you’re lucky, you might be able to get him into a few) In fact lately he’s found himself smiling a lot more with you than he’s ever done in his life. 

-He’s clumsy at love and you’re his first so please be patient with him. He still learning to navigate the waters raging and crashing around within his heart and mind when he’s with you. He may not know how to or when to romance you on a surprise date or when to late out roses with lit candles for you. However, he does know when to make you feel seen/heard when you gush about a cute cat or insect or something! He knows to pirate those episodes of your favorite show for you (fuck you HB*M*x). He knows how to give you peace while you focus on your gaming or when you’re watching your favorite content creators play said games. He knows when to put on your favorite songs while the two of you take on household chores together. He knows how to clean your glasses when they get a little dusty, and he knows when to gift you your favorite snack when you’re upset with the day. He knows exactly how to love you, and for anyone that should be enough.💗

[toxicnorn]

i can’t necessarily speak to discussions of transmisogyny in hp pre-2010s/2020s for virtue of the fact that i was not personally tuned into spaces that discussed this in the 2000s (this was also obviously before jkr went very publicly off the rails, though in retrospect, that was always lowkey an aspect of the series even if i didn’t pick up on it at the time; i will say that i recall jkr showing her ass on trans stuff on twitter before people give her credit for it, but i don’t remember the specifics of my timelines) but i’ve seen people very seriously say that there were no discussions of any of the problematic (i hate using that word because i associate it so much with 2013 Tumblr but there’s not really a better alternative) aspects of the books until very recently, and that’s categorically untrue and i’m going to give you a history lesson

this is very rambly and unedited. i am also coming into this with the perspective of a white AFAB culturally christian person, which obviously affects how i interact and interacted with the world. for better or worse, i have been extremely online since 1996 and i have been interacting with fandom since before some tumblr users were even born, which is like. not actually a good thing. i don’t see fandom as something inherently bad or inherently good; it’s a hobby i’ve had the same as editing pixel dolls or playing on pet websites. tho you have no idea about the drama of pixel dolls and pet websites. it has no innate value save that which we make of it, which is the same of most things. and, being an artificial construct, it’s inherently influenced by the shitty stuff that goes into it.

anyway

especially towards the ends of the 2000s/early 2010s, there was a lot of discussion on LJ particularly about racism, antisemitism, homophobia, misogyny in the series, often on people’s personal blogs and usually more mild than what you’d see on tumblr, which is not a tone argument thing but which i’m merely bringing up to highlight the fact that people sent death threats over people going “i think maybe the narrative doesn’t treat girls well here.”

it’s just that this was met by a lot -and i mean a lot- of hostility: think the worst tumblr anons and make it on main but also make it more pseudo-intellectual. a lot of it was couched in language that anyone with criticism of any aspect of the series was not actually a fan (and an imposter, possibly a soccer mom) and that if you didn’t 100% enjoy an aspect of something, that’s on you for consuming it, the whole general “don’t like, don’t read” attitude that still gets shilled whenever someone says they don’t like something. a lot of fan culture is ultimately based on a very “us vs The Other” mentality while raising up products for enjoyable consumption (ie the canon book or movie or whatever, and also the fandom built up around it) as something elevated above (perceived or real) reproach, and that obviously is still very much an aspect of fan culture today, hence all of tumblr and people making ideological stances (and by this, i mostly mean strawman arguments shouted into the void for people to misinterpret however they want) about fanfiction a core portion of their online or real identities. which is to say, dysfunction is inherently built into fandom because it’s a microcosm of a dysfunctional society, a hobby whose adherents try to argue that it’s inherently a refuge from the greater world but which can never fully escape its influence, existing as a reflection of society at large while denying it.

or, if you want to translate that out of loser pseudointellectual speak, fandom at large was and continues to be racist, antisemitic, etc. as fuck and harassed the shit out of people for saying that cho chang is kind of a dumb name and that the whole house elf thing is kind of fucked up. seriously, the hp fandom was racist as fuck in 2009 and probably still is because fandoms are large are often very white, very tme, very culturally christian even if they deny it (i am saying this as someone who is all three things) and close in when those things are threatened unless it’s to the point that no one can deny it anymore (and even then), but i cannot personally verify the current vibe of the harry potter fandom because i don’t go there.

anyway, it’s not really a coincidence that when there were more widespread discussions about racism/sexism/etc. in fandom on LJ that it started to decline in popularity among fandom types and fandom culture latched onto tumblr. a fair number of shitty people flounced and migrated over to this website and that’s had way more to do with how fandom’s shaped up on tumblr than anyone really likes to admit. if you were a Big Name Tumblr User in 2012, there was a really big chance you were a former livejournal user who left for a site where less people recognized you for doing both stupid and heinous shit or just generally being a dick. this resulted in a tumblr culture that would very much try to silently drown out any criticisms of the series with vague positivity and “we have to UNITE” and a lot of other stuff whenever someone went “guys have you checked out what she’s done with native american belief systems. it’s uh. not great.”

this is not to say that fandoms have not gotten better in a lot of respects because they have, but, like, obviously it’s still shitty in a lot of ways, though sometimes i wish people were just outright homophobic instead of couching their dialogue in disguised language. a lot of tumblr/twitter culture revolves around not sounding -ist rather than like actually changing anything in any meaningful way.

anyway

this is all a lot of words to say that a lot of the current discussions going on in fandom have been going on for over a decade, but a lot of people in fandom today have no clue about that because the fandom also very deliberately tried to bury it, and by burying it, i mean virulently harassing people because they said something was a little sexist or whatnot

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

Let’s say England has a long-term girlfriend he knows isn’t the biggest fan of marriage bc her family had been really really pushy (before she got the heck out of dodge) about her marrying + reproducing ASAP. How might he react if she came to him and said she was kinda starting to like the general concept of marrying him — that is, the whole ‘together forever’ bit. Thanks!

I confess darling that I have been trying to finish this prompt for well over a year, and I offer my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me this long to finish it. Still, despite my tardiness, I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for your patience with me.

You had never intended to fall in love, not with the constant push of your relatives to fall in line like a perfect child.

First, marriage to someone they deemed acceptable, raising the perfect 2.5 children, followed by quietly settling into parenthood and complaisant contentment until the day you last drew breath.

Truth of the matter was, you had avoided all chances of romance for the first few years after you moved away from home, carefully slipping away from anyone who seemed remotely interested in you.

You knew your folks would have disproved such behaviour had they learnt the truth, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You had your own dreams to pursue, your own story to tell, your own life to live; you didn't need someone by your side to feel complete.

You were happy as you were, finding enjoyment in your work and figuring out your place in the world.

You didn’t need, or frankly want, anything more than that.

That was of course until you met him.

Falling in love with Arthur Kirkland had been a complete accident. He slipped past all of your defenses and took up residence in your heart as if he had always belonged there.

It started out slow enough; at first you simply knew him as a familiar face from the cafe in Waterstones, steaming cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate croissant sitting forgotten on the table in front of him, always too focused on his reading to pay any attention to the outside world. After one particularly crowded Sunday afternoon, he began to transition into your favorite dining companion, the two of you often taking turns paying for each other’s food. Slowly but surely, you began forgetting about your books, too wrapped up in conversation, and before you knew it-

You had come to love every part of him- the gentleman that you begrudgingly introduced to your parents, the rebellious and passionate activist, the cocky and playful little shit who had long ago memorised all the best ways to disarm you, and the ancient soul who cared so deeply, who still stretched himself thin most days in effort to protect each of his loved ones.

You fell in love with his voice, whispering sonnets and sonatas and sweet nothings in your ear while his arms cradled you from behind.

You fell in love with his eyes, still losing your footing sometimes when the light caught them just right, dreaming momentarily of summer forests and grassy glades and the misty dews of spring.

You fell in love with his smiles, from the satisfied grin at stirring up Peter’s ire to the breathless wonder each time you kissed or complimented him, to the bright, beautiful, blinding smile he wore when he was incandescently happy, his entire countenance iridescent from his joy.

You loved him completely- for his devotion, for his sweet gestures, for his damned impishness, for his wit, his sass, and the soft spoken affection.

You loved him: for his patience, for his recklessness, for his resilience, for his possessive pride that was somehow more charming than alarming.

He was unique, an enigma that, even after having lived together for years and dating even longer, kept you on your toes, his energy and random spouts of spontaneity proving to you that, even if you spent one hundred lifetimes with him, he would always remain a puzzle you would never fully solve.

And by God did you want to.

Arthur had stolen your heart away from you before you had even noticed he was close enough to take it, offering his own in its stead.

You had remained reluctant, confided in him your fears about settling down, how much you dreaded becoming trapped in a monotonous rut of tedium. He was quick to reassure you, showing through words and actions far more impassioned and teasing than he had ever shown prior, that an eternity with him could never be boring.

Even on quiet days, like today, with a steady drizzle painting the world in greys, Arthur humming quietly while adding another patch to his denim vest, and no other disturbance apart from the cat’s chittering at the robins playing in a puddle by the iron fence- Even now, you weren’t so much bored as you were pensive.

You had been thinking about a future with him a lot in the past few days, some irrelevant ad on your mobile about wedding venues catching your attention and slithering into the back of your mind.

What kind of wedding would he like? Would Arthur prefer something small and intimate, or would his hubris crave a larger venue, giving him yet another chance to prove to the world that he belonged at your side, no one else?  You couldn’t help but wonder if he would wear his uniform or a suit, if he would leave the rats' nest he called a hairstyle untouched, or if he would perhaps slick it back in that way that somehow made the normal rakishness disappear, a confident, refined cavalier standing in his place.

You knew of course that none of this mattered unless you actually talked to him first; as far as you were aware, he was content with the current arrangement, and he respected your views of marriage.

He had known, for a long time, just where the grim outlook stemmed from, and he never breached the subject again.

But now-

You had thought it was enough to hold his love, his faith, his vulnerabilities. But life was so fleeting, and now those few things were no longer enough.

You wanted to wake up every morning next to him, wanted the cheesy partners’ towel and flip flop sets. You wanted the physical reminder that you held his heart, the comforting reminder that he completely possessed your own. You wanted to be by his side forever, holding his hand through the good and the ill, facing new worlds and challenges and the uncertain future together.

You knew the risks, of course.

Marriage to a Nation carried an even heavier burden than the simple oath of “till death do us part.”

No, marrying Arthur would mean weaving your entire lives together, binding you on a spiritual level far surpassing mortality; it would mean sacrificing your chance to ever grow old, to eternally give yourself away: heart, mind, body, and soul.

But this was Arthur, who sang showtunes in the shower, who spent hours making silly faces at the cat, who was ridiculously competitive about Halloween costumes, the man who sat down and memorised the entirety of The Tempest in one night just for the bragging rights.

He already owned your heart, constantly invaded your thoughts and daydreams, and God knew he had long, long ago claimed your body, making certain not a single millimeter of his new territory went unexplored.

Would it really be so bad to give him your soul, too?

Glancing back up, seeing his eyes narrowed in concentration, his fingers handling the needle with expert precision, lips slightly parted, reading glasses fallen halfway down his nose-

You knew your answer.

It was always going to be Arthur for you, only Arthur.

Forever, should he have you.

But now you faced the challenge of telling him that.

It should be simple enough; you really held no more secrets from him, and he no longer bothered trying to hide anything from you. You loved how open you were with one another, cherished the honesty that served as the very foundation to your relationship.

But the truth was that you were terrified.

It had been so long since either of you had spoken of marriage, since the topic was even a thought in your minds, and-

What if he didn't want you anymore?

What if he-

"I can see the steam coming outta your ears."

The unexpected presence of Arthur's voice startled you, eyes darting back over to the very man who was unwittingly tormenting you.

He had barely moved from his earlier position, though his glasses had been pushed up into his hair and he was studying you curiously, if not bemusedly.

"You good there?"

By default, you nearly responded with an affirmative, some playful, lighthearted thing that would have dismissed his concern immediately. You cut yourself off mid-start, then, while shifting to sit properly in the armchair, you decided to push forward. "Can we talk?"

You watched as his expression shifted, revealing his concern as he tied off his thread, setting aside the patchwork and gestured for you to join him on the sofa.

There were a few awkward moments where you took up your favourite positions, Arthur tossing an afghan across the pair of you despite your insistence that you didn't need one, the flicker of a grin as you begrudgingly thanked him, and then shifting around as you both got comfortable, but soon enough-

"Alright, now; talketh at-eth me."

It was impossible to fight the smile his choice of words triggered, a reference to an inside joke so old now that you could scarcely recall its origin. Seeming to deem it a success, his own soft, reassuring smile greeted you.

"Seriously though, luv-" His hand came to rest atop your own, his fingers gently tapping a familiar rhythm against your skin. "What's troubling you?"

You were half-tempted to offer something short of sincerity, something innocuous and mundane that you could both laugh over and forget again within a few hours. Yet, you knew that if you didn't tell him now, didn't ask him now, you would never find the courage again.

"I've been thinking-"

"Ah. A scary premise in its own right."

"Oh, shut up," you retorted to his tease, smacking his arm for his troubles. He rewarded you with a grin, all fondness and mischief. Opting to ignore him, you pressed on, eyes downcast to avoid whatever judgement he may offer.

"As I was trying to say earlier, before I was so rudely interrupted-" The teasing fell off, and the worry crept back in. "I've been thinking. About us."

"O-oh?"

Were you not so consumed by your own anxieties, you would have noticed his stutter, would have seen the sudden tension in his posture, the fear in his eyes. As it was, you were completely oblivious to all of it, and made yourself continue at his prompting.

"I- I think I'm ready."

He mimed the word "ready" to himself, parroting it with utter befuddlement. "For wha-"

"I mean, I know I wasn't for such a long time, and-" Suddenly, you were off, half unhinged. Now that you had admitted the truth aloud, it was all rushing out of you, everything you had come to love about him, everything that-

A finger pressing firmly against your lips stopped you mid-tangent, and when you glanced up to find piercing, blazing emerald focused on you as if you were the very center of the universe, whatever remained of your ramblings disappeared entirely.

"What are you trying to say?"

A simple question, so easy to answer, yet it carried with it the weight of Infinities, demanding nothing save the truth, in its most basic state.

You were lost in his gravity, half-drowning in whatever this new feeling was. It was addicting, another riddle to be solved.

"Marry me."

Time stood still, the words weighing heavily in the space between you, now seemingly insurmountable despite being no more than mere decimeters.

Arthur showed no reaction, revealed no indication that he had even heard your plea, your query, your command, your request, and yet it echoed over and over in your own mind, the tone, the weight, the untimeliness-

Every facet- from your inflection to chosen tempo- crescandoed as an accusation, a mocking symphony that he would reject you, that you would be left with only the haunting strains of your ill-conceived proposal.

And yet-

There was a hesitation in his eyes, the face of a man who wanted wholeheartedly to believe what he had heard, but had been burned far too often in the past to dare allow himself hope.

"You-" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed as he studied you once more, only for the suspicion to disappear again almost immediately, disbelief swiftly taking its place. "You're serious?"

It was then that you finally read his nervousness, understood the strange emotion reflecting in his eyes.

You had lead him to a precipice, the vast Unknown before you both, and-

And he was just as fragile as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.

You gave his hand a light squeeze, hoping to ground you both, and offered him a nod. “If you’ll have me, anyway.”

His eyes flickered between your own, darting back-and-forth so quickly in search of a lie, of any doubts, of any hint that you were less than certain- yet you knew he would find none of that.

“What about your family?”

The question took you by surprise; in the moment, you had completely forgotten anyone else even existed.

You weighed his question carefully. Marrying Arthur would give your family leave to gloat in self-satisfaction, and you knew with absolutely certainty that they would hold it over your head for the next three decades. But looking into the eyes of the man before you, remembering all that you had already seen and done together, you found that others' opinions no longer mattered, really hadn't mattered in a long, long time.

“I couldn’t care less about them. Arth-”

Whatever you were going to say was forgotten as he closed the remaining distance between you, moving so swiftly that you scarcely had a moment to steady yourself before he captured you in a searing kiss, one of his most passionate by far.

Somehow, despite the suddenness of it all, the initial force, the intensity- 

He was being incredibly gentle, and moving slowly enough to almost be more a torment than a treat. Almost.

You found yourself lost in a daze when he finally pulled away, just enough for each of you to catch your breaths, just far enough that he could study you with rapt attention. You could have drowned in his eyes, endless greens magnetizing in their intensity. His hands were still cradling your cheeks, still holding you firmly in place, a not completely foreign expression creasing his features.

You couldn't quite place it, even as your memories shifted desperately in search of its mate.

"'If I'd have you?'" His words, a rhetorical refrain of your own mere moments earlier, were scarcely a shared breath between you, murmured in timbre so low it summoned a shiver. There was the smallest twitch of his lip, his head tilting ever so slightly as more of that damned deviousness made its presence known. "I fully intend to have you regardless, luv. But the formality of it all certainly adds a particular je ne sais quoi, wouldn't you agree?"

You'd be damned if he knew just how that made your heart flutter, if he knew just how much weight that reassurance had lifted from your shoulders.

Carefree, content, you offered a playful smile. "Till death do us part then?"

Arthur no longer bothered trying to restrain his smile, soft and sincere in a way that left you breathless. "I'll love you till even the stars go cold, my dear."

Thanks for reading~

[beybladefanboy]

A brief review of every Beyblade Metal Fusion episode

Okay not all of these are brief but most of them are, and only slightly satirical at times, all my ratings are genuine. I just feel the need to be a sassy little bastard sometimes.

Episode 1: Pegasus has Landed! 7/10

Good introduction to the world of Beyblade, the characters of Gingka, Kenta, Benkei, and Kyoya, and the relationships between them, though it’s absolutely littered with early series weirdness.

Episode 2: Leone’s Roar 7.5/10

Very basic one one one battle but it’s also the first one on one battle that’s longer than a minute so it’s fine. Kyoya is great and Madoka is introduced well.

Episode 3: The Wolf’s Ambition 8/10

The way Doji appears and defeats Kyoya, who is the main villain at this point, is a great way of setting Doji up as a major villain this season. Also, the still newbie Kenta battling on Gingka’s level is great to see.

Episode 4: Charge! Bull Power! 7.5/10

Surprise, Benkei has character now! This episode feels like his true introduction, as we get to really see who he is as a blader and get an honestly really blatant hint that he’s going to be redeemed. Still, it’s cute.

Episode 5: Vengeful Gasher 8/10

This is a really crappy episode. Oh sorry I meant crabby :P

In all seriousness, this episode mainly hinges on your enjoyment of the disaster known as Tetsuya. And well… you see my rating.

Episode 6: Aquario’s Challenge 8.5/10

Hikaru’s introduction is one of the best in this season. She slays fools and Kenta and we even get a brief glimpse of her backstory, which is a rarity in Beyblade. For some reason… also Kenta really shines in this episode too, despite his failure.

Episode 7: It’s Our Special Move! Sagittario 8.5/10

Lots of great moments in this episode: the start of Kenta and Benkei’s wholesome friendship, Kenta’s special move, Benkei officially being part of the crew, Kenta’s first big win in the series. Overall a fun time.

Episode 8: Merci’s Dangerous Trap 7/10

The Kyoya stuff in this episode is awesome, the Gingka stuff is… a little too weird for me. Not bad, just weird.

Episode 9: Leone’s Counterattack 8/10

Kyoya goes feral in this episode and I’m honestly living for it, it’s both intimidating and amusing. And heart-breaking the way it affects Benkei.

Episode 10: Heated Battle! Gingka vs Kyoya 8.5/10

More feral Kyoya, always a plus. This is also the first really intense battle of the series, with stakes that are higher than losing some measly points (and that didn’t involve cheating) so I like it for that.

Episode 11: Chase the Wolf! 8/10

And so the main story begins. Kyoya’s next up for redemption, and he’s just as slow to the punch as Benkei but that makes the moment where he does fight by Gingka and co’s side really satisfying. Also, the scene where they break a metal door by combining their special moves is the coolest moment so far.

Episode 12: Infiltrate the Dark Nebula’s Castle! 8/10

The kids act kind of stupid in this episode I’m sorry to say. “Why aren’t we getting anywhere?” Because you’re on a treadmill! That’s Dora level stupidity. At least they also get some cool moments to even it out.

Episode 13: L-Drago Awakens! 9/10

Ryuga! :D

Do I… need to say anything else? This is an excellent way to introduce a villain. He absolutely slaughters Gingka in the main character’s first (real) loss in the series and makes the previous main villain, Doji, look like a silly wimp in comparison.

Episode 14: Memories of Ryo 7.5/10

Ignoring what comes later, this is actually a really good episode storywise. It answers all the questions about Gingka and Ryuga that the previous episodes raised and honestly just makes me feel bad for the poor kid.

Episode 15: The Mysterious Hyoma 7/10

These kids can’t last a few hours in the woods without trying to kill each other (some of which is amusing). Kyoya is the only one in the group with a brain. Hyoma is introduced really well, saving two of the fools from falling to their deaths with superhuman skills so that’s nice.

Episode 16: The Magnificent Aries 7.5/10

Hyoma is a blader! Who could’ve possibly seen that coming?! :O You know, besides Kyoya, who is once again the biggest brain member of this ragtag group, exposing Hyoma for the liar that he is. Benkei and Kenta’s battles with Hyoma are pretty good.

Episode 17: The Silver Pegasus 6/10

I don’t know why Gingka went up that mountain. I don’t know why his dad left him a passive aggressive letter to find in that mountain. I get what this episode is going for: getting Gingka out of his funk, but the execution feels kind of off to me. In retrospect, it’s honestly the first hint that Ryo is a garbage bag of a human being.

Episode 18: The Green Hades 7.5/10

Hyoma being jealous of Gingka’s new friends is amusing, maybe even a bit sympathetic and the Green Hades was a really cool stadium for their battle. The way Gingka wins is also quite clever. It’s not just a Star Blast Attack Ex Machina.

Episode 19: Conquer the Tag-Team Battle! 8.5/10

This episode is adorable, I won’t accept any slander of it. I know it’s complete filler and the conflict is kinda dumb but Benkei and Kenta are so freaking cute that I honestly don’t care.

Episode 20: Begin! The Survival Battle 7.5/10

Yay! A wild tournament!

Yikes, a wild Tetsuya!

It hurts itself in confusion!

Yeah, I don’t really have much to say about this episode. It’s fine, a good start to the tournament that’s more important than meets the eye.

Episode 21: Warriors on a Deserted Island 7.5/10

Yu’s formal introduction is great, you’d never expect anything was off about him :) Also Kyoya and Hyoma have a pretty good battle which leads very nicely into the next episode.

Episode 22: The Fearsome Libra 9/10

I don’t know how this episode slipped my mind when I made my top five Fusion episodes list. It’s a massive game changer. I mean, it’s what sets Battle Bladers in motion but also Gingka loses to someone who is at this point in the plot, just a random kid. Gingka is not infallible! That’s really bloody important. Also the stuff with Kyoya and Madoka in this episode is top tier. Madoka throws herself into battle for the sake of saving Leone and Kyoya puts his bey over his pride and forfeits the battle to save Leone. It’s a scene that gives me chills just thinking about it again.

Episode 23: The Road to Battle Bladers 7.5/10

This is really just an establishment episode, setting up Battle Bladers and dropping the bomb that Yu is a member of the Dark Nebula. However, it does this job as well as it needs to and none of it feels like padding.

Episode 24: The Beautiful Eagle 8/10

In this house we stan mystery eagle boy and eat our vegetables :)

Episode 25: The Sniper Capricorn 9/10

Yes, I am biased towards Kyoya. Thank you for asking. I can’t help it, he’s hilarious in this episode, every little thing he does in this episode makes me at least chuckle in some way. Also it’s a good introduction for Tobio.

Episode 26: Tsubasa Flies Into the Dark 8/10

That title is so on the nose when you know what this episode is about oh my lord. I like the way this episode shrouds Tsubasa in further mystery. He also really gets a chance to show his skills, slaying some fools and tying with the nearly undefeated Yu.

Episode 27: Intruders in the Challenge Match 7/10

This one’s fine. I like all the characters involved and the battles are good, just not exceptional. It’s honestly kind of filler but not bad filler.

Episode 28: Dark Gasher’s Big, Crabby-Crabby Operation 8/10

Why Tetsuya? Why are you the way that you are? And Benkei, why in the world did you fall for that crap?! Was Tetsuya’s ponytail that cute to you? Tell me, simp!

Okay I will admit this episode is pretty funny but that doesn't change the fact that it sent me spiralling into insanity.

Episode 29: Kenta and Sora 6/10

I find this episode kind of dry. I’m sorry. I love Kenta, he’s one of my absolute favourite characters in the show, and seeing him teach someone Beyblade is pretty nice. Sora though… I think he’s annoying. This episode is alright, it doesn’t really do anything objectively bad, I’m just not a fan of it.

Episode 30: The Bewitching Pisces 8/10

Ryutaro is one of the most unique bladers in the series. I don’t think he quite gets the attention he deserves considering how terrifying his abilities are when you think about it.

Episode 31: The Twin Gemios 7.5/10

Dan and Reiki aren’t all that spectacular and two bladers controlling one bey feels like an idea that’s doomed from the start but it’s nice seeing Kenta beat some fools. 

Episode 32: The Stormy Battle Royal 8.5/10

I think this is the first battle royale of the series? Unless I’m missing a really small example, this is the first one and it’s epic. There’s so much going on all at once and the outcome is honestly pretty unexpected.

Episode 33: The Oath of the Phoenix 4/10

(Okay this got really long and heated. Also in this section I discuss abuse, specifically a parent abusing their child, so skip over it if that’s a triggering topic.)

The first half of this episode is fine. I mean it’s Tetsuya being Tetsuya so I can’t exactly hate it (as much as I want to) but the second half… okay, maybe it’s unfair for my opinion on an episode to be based on something a later episode did but it’s not like the Phoenix twist was a retcon or a random addition, it was planned from the start and honestly? That knowledge makes this episode reprehensible to me. I know people will disagree with me but Ryo’s actions are abusive. Gingka may not know in the moment that it’s his father berating him with statements of how he’s not trying hard enough (something that’s painfully familiar to me personally) and even putting him in physical danger and possible risk of death by burning the metal beams but it’s something he finds out later and was always going to find out at some point. That’s the kind of crap that leaves lasting psychological damage, especially on a child. Don’t even get me started on him breaking the point counter. Not only is that incredibly stupid, as Gingka NEEDS to get into Battle Bladers as he’s the only one who can literally save the world from destruction (something Ryo absolutely understands as he’s the one who explains it) and this raises a significant possibility of him not making it but it’s also abusive and just way over the line even if he wasn’t Gingka’s father. So yeah, screw this episode.

Episode 34: Shine, Virgo! 10/10

The last episode puts a sour taste in my mouth every time I watch it. This episode is the exact opposite. It lifts me up every time I watch it, both because I love Teru and because his story is genuinely inspirational and sweet. They had no need to go this hard with a random background character but I’m ecstatic they did. Gingka and Teru’s battle is also a really good one in general, with Gingka needing to create a new special move in order to defeat him. It’s a damn near perfect episode in my eyes.

Episode 35: L-Drago, on the Move 8.5/10

This episode consists of Ryuga slaying fools and Tsubasa being a sneaky boi. Of course I love it.

Episode 36: Broken Wings 8/10

Tsubasa and Ryuga’s battle here is really thrilling, even though it’s obvious Tsubasa won’t win. Gingka and Tobio’s afterward kind of pales in comparison but it’s a neat idea.

Episode 37: Rock Scorpio’s Deadly Poison 5/10

Like the last Sora episode, I find this one really dull and it has the additional problem of bringing the pacing of the overall story of the season to a screeching halt. This is filler, and really badly placed filler for that matter. If you skip it, the story actually flows better. Again not bad, I just find it boring.

Episode 38: Run, Gingka! 7.5/10

Gingka makes a really really stupid deicision at the end of this episode, I think even as a kid I was yelling at Gingka for throwing away the opportunity his friends gave him like that. The rest is good though. Hyoma and Kenta in particular have really good battles with Tsubasa.

Episode 39: Clash! The Phoenix Vs The Pegasus 7.5/10

Okay this one is not as bad as Phoenix’s last display. In fact, it’s a pretty good episode overall. This is a cooler way for Gingka to earn his way into Battle Bladers than just earning three thousand points from some random tournament. And Gingka (seemingly unconsciously) using his friend’s techniques was kinda nice. That moment where they basically reveal the Phoenix twist though is kind of insulting.

Episode 40: Go! Battle Bladers! 8/10

This is the last time these characters are all happy and having fun for a while… which of course you don’t know on your first watch but still. It’s a fun episode. Gingka finally defeating Yu is satisfying and the mini battles are fine. It’s got some funny moments and the whole thing is light-hearted… for the last time in the season.

Episode 41: The Serpent’s Terror 9/10

…I mean. What am I sssupposed to sssay about this one that I haven’t talked about before? From the very beginning, there’s this feeling that something is… off about Hyoma’s battle. No one knows who his opponent is, not even the Dark Nebula spy and there’s this uneasy feeling throughout the first part of the battle, even though Hyoma is seemingly in no danger, either confusing the audience or filling them with dread, especially those eagle-eyed viewers that notice the little pieces being chipped off of Aries with each strike. (This is honestly one of my favourite bits of animation in the entire show. It’s very subtle and I didn’t even notice it until my friend pointed it out but it is amazing that they actually show the damage happening before the characters or the audience are even fully aware of it.) Then Reiji shows his true colours… and also speaks for the first time. Did I mention that? Reiji doesn’t say a single word until halfway through this episode, which just adds to the uneasiness as that and his puppet-like movements make him seem less human and more like a monster only created to strike fear into the hearts of his victims… And strike fear he does. Hyoma, who is normally cool-headed and even laid back during battle, is driven to screaming and crying as his bey is cut up piece by piece right in front of him. He’s rendered powerless to stop as Reiji is intentionally drawing out the battle and preventing Aries from losing for the sole purpose of destroying it which is just… sickening. When I describe Reiji’s battling as “torture,” I am absolutely not exaggerating. Some people argue that this battle could’ve been stopped. I argue that they couldn’t because Doji is the one in control. Blader DJ has no control over the matches, he just announces them, and Gingka and the gang would’ve been disqualified if they had intervened, which would’ve had world-ending consequences. They had no choice but to sit and watch their friend be tortured before their eyes. It’s what makes this episode so horrifying and honestly the biggest game changer in the entire series. It shifted the tone completely. The way this episode builds tension and strikes dread and fear into its characters makes it feel like something out of a horror film. And that’s not even including the more plot relevant battle after this one, Ryuga vs Hikaru, which straight up kills a major character on screen and has far reaching consequences later in the series. I could go on forever about this episode.

So if I love this episode this much, why wasn’t it on my top five Metal Fusion episodes?, you may be wondering. Because honestly this episode screws with my anxiety. It messed me up as a kid (though not as much as a certain upcoming episode) and the dread and terror that Hyoma and Hikaru go through is genuinely painful to watch and the only thing keeping myself from spiralling into a panic during this episode is making jokes about some of Reiji’s… odder sounding lines.

Episode 42: The Dragon’s Punishment 8/10

Okay, I’ll try to make this one shorter than the last one. The horror aspects of that one are carried over into this episode, though it’s not as effective as last episode due to the random cut away from the battle. Overall still a good episode.

Episode 43: The Deck is Stacked 9/10

This episode doesn’t get nearly enough credit for how great it is. Sure the two battles don’t have much to do with each other but they’re both top tier and do great things for the characters. Kyoya and Benkei’s battle shows how much they’ve grown as bladers and as characters, and even showing a softer side to their relationship. Meanwhile Ryutaro and Gingka’s battle shows someone with the impossible task of defeating Gingka for his right to live, knowing it’s almost guaranteed he will die and the world will be destroyed. He fights brutally, even being willing to set someone he views as a friend on fire in an attempt to survive. He knows the future is doomed but is desperate to live regardless. It’s just… really cool and makes me feel bad for him.

Episode 44: Entrusted Emotions 6.5/10

Okay this is a tricky one for me, not just because of my past with this episode, although that is somewhat part of it, but because… I honestly don’t know if this is a good episode. Reiji defeating Kenta is terrible writing. It sends a message that you can never overcome anxiety and if you try, it’ll just lead to more pain, something that’s even easier to interpret since the only person who defeated Reiji was the one who was never scared of him. Kenta’s bond with his friends should’ve been enough to overcome his fear, in the eyes of the show’s morals. The fact that it wasn’t weakens the show’s morals. The audience backing Kenta is an insanely sweet moment and Gingka knocking Serpent away was nice but honestly neither of these moments make up for this. If it weren’t for the ending, I would consider this a good episode. The battle is full of so many ups and downs and back and forths that I didn’t know who was going to win when I first watched and rewatched it. It’s thrilling but also terrifying and painful to watch. That is what it’s supposed to do though so from an objective standpoint, that stuff is done well. It’s just… Kenta’s defeat. It kinda kills the whole thing. I don’t think it makes the whole episode bad but it’s a terrible moment. I’d still take it over the episodes Phoenix slaughtered though so that’s why I’m rating it kind of high.

Episode 45: Eagle Counterattacks 8.5/10

This is just a really good Ryuga battle. They’re good by default if the opponent puts up a fight and Tsubasa’s strategy is so genuinely clever it really feels like it could work. Overall just a really great episode of two great characters clashing.

Episode 46: Libra Disappears 7/10

Gingka’s super important semi final! …is cut off by a subplot. Admittedly the subplot isn’t actually that bad here. I like seeing Kenta and Hyoma and the cutaways don’t feel as frustrating since Gingka and Reiji’s battle is… pretty unspectacular stakes-wise. The next episode though…

Episode 47: Bonds of Steel 6/10

Ryo and Doji’s battle looks kind of cool and the bit with the fragment of Sagittario breaking into Dark Wolf was nothing short of spectacular but the battle overall isn’t that great and the way it cuts off Gingka’s semi final still really annoys me. Also, Gingka vs Reiji is garbage. Pure unadulterated, unfiltered garbage. I hate that Gingka doesn’t struggle with it at all compared to Reiji’s previous opponents and like I discussed in Kenta vs Reiji, it feels like it’s teaching a bad moral … but this battle is too hilarious for me to hate. I recorded myself watching this episode (with facecam so it’s not public) and I was cackling the entire time. It’s absolutely ironic entertainment and it’s a terrible reason to give this episode a higher rating but I get more enjoyment out of this episode than I do from the episodes I rated lower or similarly so… sorry, my reviews, my rules.

Episode 48: The Truth About Light and Darkness 3/10

This is the worst episode of the show. It’s nothing but exposition dumping and abuse apolosing with one fun scene at the end. Even if you don’t hate the Phoenix twist, this episode is just boring, and useless on rewatch. Goodnight episode 48. I refuse to talk about you any longer.

Episode 49: Fierce Battle! Lion Vs Dragon 10/10

This episode is nothing short of epic. The result of Kyoya’s growth this season is on full display in this battle and seeing him constantly picking himself back up and continuing to fight is inspiring in the same way Teru’s episode was. It’s also a really good lead into the finale and hints that Ryuga may actually have some honour as a blader.

Episode 50 and Episode 51: The Furious Final Battle! and Blader’s Spirit 9.5/10

These episodes are definitely Beyblade’s best finale episode, and not just because it’s the most iconic. It honestly just is that good. This is the only season where Gingka felt like he had significant importance to the story or a character arc and I think it’s concluded quite nicely here. And I will forever love the shift from defeating Ryuga to saving him from the dark power. I love stuff like that, especially here where the dark power is basically a representation of humanity’s greed, hatred, and anger. Just, good stuff.

[mangakamen]

The Ghost of Persona 5′s terrible criticism past and current

Honestly, I think this something that I need to get off my chest since I’m known as the guy who responded to that almost 5 hour video from Cvit - Persona 5: Style over Substance. I want to talk about why I decided to respond to the guy, some of the background details, and even talk about stuff that’s happening today with this (yeah, it is). Get ready for a long post. And as a Side note, this isn’t a post for me to paint a target on people or call to arms - I’m just getting this off my chest after about 2 years

Now, if for whatever reason you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me get a couple links - I understand that you’re looking at about 9 hours worth of content, but I’m not expecting you to watch it all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGzS4KtItEo

Now, what I wanna talk about is how petty some people are. Like, to give context, Cvit’s video came out in August 2019 - My video series started on June 2020 - almost a year later. One thing I want to point out before I was developing this video series I had avoided Cvit’s video - Not because I can’t stand criticism of things I like, but rather because... It’s almost 5 hours long.

Like, I know that this was the beginning of the youtube meme of overly long criticism videos with a snarky narrator who acts like their opinion is the be all end all - Ironic I know considering where my Youtube’s content has been going as of late, but hey, It’s been 3 years.

No, what really caught my attention was that I was seeing a ton of weird criticisms being spread across twitter, tumblr and reddit.

So, I started to look, and found that some people had cited Cvit’s video - Now, I’m not one to instantly believe that someone is outright making arguments in bad faith, and not to mention, the game of Telephone is a thing so maybe there was context that I was missing.

So, I decided to live tweet my reactions to it.

It started off with me simply disagreeing with his takes with the subjectivity of how music can affect a person’s enjoyment if used too much - That’s nothing big and depends on the person, as well as how much you play in a single sitting of a game.

BUT THEN... He talked about the english dub of the game, and used the Persona Problems site:

For those who don’t know, this is a website that was created to catalogue the issues with the English Translation of Persona 5 - All well and good, right?

Well...

While there are some examples that do indeed highlight issues (He’s a scum being a prime example) they have just as many terrible examples.

Here’s one such excerpt

Now with that, you might be thinking two things 1) God that’s a bad screenshot, and 2) Seems like a legit criticism to me.

Well, let me tell ya, there’s more than meets the eye here - most notably the context and characters.

For those who have played the game, know that this scene involve Futaba, she’s the character saying the lines. Futaba is a recovering shut-in and is flustered about being with the protag  on Valentine’s day - She’s stumbling over her words and is not sure what to do in this situation - Also, she’s a teenager.

I’m not saying that Persona 5′s translation is perfect, but this site will often remove context from scenes and just look at the lines in a vacuum, which is dishonest if you ask me. And naturally, this extended to Cvit - Who just took the webiste at face value and slapped it in his video as if it were a completely reliable source. Hell, I doubt he even read the source other than one example;

But it was then that I decided to make an actual video on the matter - But I didn’t want to talk about all near 5 hours of Cvit’s video, so I made a general complaints video - and it ws to be the ONLY video I had planned at the time to talk about Cvit’s.

THAT WAS UNTIL I GOT A FLOOD OF COMMENTS SAYING THAT I TOOK HIM OUT OF CONTEXT.

There were a ton more, but this was one of the many.

It was because I had gotten a mob of comments, e-mails and tweets @’d at me telling me how flawed my video was because “I Nitpicked’ or “I took Cvit out of context”.

So, that’s why you have 6 videos - each going after a specific portion of Cvit’s video - And one large combination video. Because people just wouldn’t shut up and wouldn’t stop harassing me about it.

Should I have ignored them? Maybe, but if I did, then people wouldn’t actually listen to the parts where Cvit removes context, interjects fake context, ignores Japanese culture (funny since he praises Yakuza which is Japanese) and outright lying about the game. (But hey, I guess Pyramids aren’t tombs now?)

I think what got me more was that you had prominent youtubers, like Foxcade, defending his video.

Ironically dismissing the complaints that Cvit almost practically started this whole “hating persona 5″ and how so many people referenced his video or used his points against the game in debates that I saw online.

I do not regret making my videos, the only regret was that I wish I had better audio balancing at the time, and if I ever decide to go back to remaking that long ass video - I’d gladly re-record every single line I made.

But now we get to today. And for some bloody, gat-damn reason, the fact that I responded to Cvit is used against me, and painting me as a Persona 5 fanboy who thinks the series can do no wrong.

Then again, this is also a problem with LIS fanbase because I dared to criticize the game franchise they love. In addition, I’ve been critical of the Persona franchise in the past:

Especially Persona 5.

But hey, why bother actually looking to see if this is true if some random reddit user claims this, then it must be true?

And for some reason, these same people leave out the fact that I only responded to Cvit’s persona video (his almost 5 hour long video). Ignoring the fact that in my videos on Cvit that I proved that he actively removed context and used faulty sources. Ignore that I criticized the Persona games in the past.

I must be a terrible person.

This is the latest in times where this has been used to dismiss my points, and it ignores SO much context of the videos in question and doesn’t actually provide any legit examples or evidence. Part of the reason why I did this on Tumblr (and will link on Twitter later) was because I can provide screenshots in a single post to prove that what I’m saying has some level of evidence backing it up.

This is part of the reason why I distance myself from fandoms - There’s so much toxicity and slander that It’s no wonder people hate fans of popular things. Even when you’re trying to defend the thing you like, if you’re unliked by these people, they will outright lie and mischaracterize you as a terrible person - Evidence backing them up be damned.

And ironically enough, it’s the same damn problem that Cvit had in his video on persona 5 - “ I don’t think I have to tell you this, but if you’re actively removing context from the scenes in order to make your point, then your point is dishonest and casts doubt on your other points too. And frankly, that’s a terrible thing to do: “

But unfortunately, this is the internet - And people don’t actually care about context or trying to be nice - They only care about instant gratification and being ‘right’, whether or not they have evidence. “Just trust me bro”.

And it utterly disgusts me that I’m being attacked for simply pointing out flaws in a highly regarded - And yes, people still see Cvit’s video as a good source of Persona 5 criticism - video and proving it. Sorry that it has to take a lot of time for me to respond to a near 5 hour video where I give proper context and explain in detail why Cvit’s points are wrong and why I think it’s in poor taste to insult the developers of the game based upon that terrible inaccuracies.

Hell, I’ve even been harassed by these kinds of people.

I thank you for your time reading this, and hope you have a good day.

[multiplefandomsblog]

Kissing Headcanons for Kokichi and Nagito

desc; making out and first kiss headcanons :D

warnings; kithing, making out, suggestive, mentions of the horny lmao

Kokichi

first kiss!

your first kiss with kokichi will most likely be prompted because,

1. he wanted to fuck with you

2. he wanted something from you

3. he was horny

the first time he actually kissed you, was when he pecked you on the lips when you weren’t looking.

the sly motherfucker likes seeing you embarrassed, loving the reactions he got out of you.

However, it was too short for your liking, so you grabbed his face and showed him how it was done

he took that as a challenge, oh no

cue the countless clichés played against each other in attempt to make the other submit

~kabedon~

Kokichi slammed you against the wall, wearing a shit eating grin. He stepped on your shoes and leaned up to roughly press his lips on yours. 

~haha you’re too short~

You pulled away from him for a breather, before leaning down for one more, leaving your head right above his reach. You looked down at him with a cocky expression, patiently waiting for him to close the gap. “Aw, so small.” Kokichi whined in annoyance at your height.

~dramatic dip AND spit trail!? woaH DOUBLE COMBO!~

He hooped his arms around your waist, smoothly dipping you, causing your head to spin from the sudden movement. Before kissing you he teased, “Who’s shorter now?” he roughly pushed his lips on yours again and slipped his tongue in your mouth. You let out a barely audible moan, and grabbed at his shoulders. As he pulled away, he stuck out his tongue to show the spit trail between the two of you. You tried to fight the growing blush on your face, not wanting to lose. Kokichi’s eyes and smile simultaneously widened. “Do you forfeit~?” He purred teasingly. 

point is, your first kiss with kokichi wouldn’t just be one.

making out!

i think he’d be rough whilst you two made out

he would be grabbing and pulling at your skin with his tiny gremlin hands.

if you had boobs, he would grope them a lot as the two of you kissed

but if you didn’t, he would just occasionally pinch your nipples while you made out, pulling a few moans out of you.

he would feel you up everywhere, not missing a spot

he’d try to find all your sweet spots on your skin and leave marks on them so he can remember where they are next time lmao

he would pay extra attention to the spots that made you moan particularly louder or made your face contort into something lewd.

like i said, he loves your reactions.

if you took charge instead and started biting and sucking at the skin of his neck, he would be super whiney.

letting a few whimpers slip past his lips as he lightly tugged at your hair.

the satisfaction of seeing his usual cocky face turn into a drooling, whining mess from your lips alone is immaculate.

he’d make the prettiest noises as you bit and marked his neck.

i feel like he’d be the type to pounce on you and start making out with you whenever he was horny- or just, like, felt like doing it

no matter where the two of you were

—even class trials.

“Okay but, what about that piece of fabric-?” “Heeeeyyyy, S/o-chan.” “Yes, Kokich- Mmf??” right before your eyes, the little shit had jumped off the podium and on to you. Once he had jumped into your arms, he started gnawing at your neck like a fucking feral animal.

BARKBARKBARKRUFFGRRRSNARRRLLL

haha why did i write this-

Nagito

first kiss!

for your first kiss together, you would definitely have to initiate it

he thinks he’s too worthless to even touch you; so kissing you would be pushing it, he thought

nonetheless, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of it

though he’d still feel guilty for imagining such things

he’s scared that if he kisses you, you’ll think that he's a bad kisser and realize that you deserve more, not trash like him-

he’d over think a lot, always second-guessing himself

so kissing you simply because he wanted to would be pretty rare

lemme paint a small scenario >:)

You and Nagito stayed in your dorm, away from the noise and classroom chaos.

You leaned over his body, caging him in with your arms. Your hips sat right above his, as you slowly leaned in. 

-but not before nagito’s,

“A-are you sure you want to kiss trash like me?” Nagito breathed out, eying your lips with a need. 

As much as he wanted to pounce on you, he was scared he would be risking your relationship by indulging in his selfish desires. 

You narrowed your eyes at him and sighed, “Do you want to kiss me?” Your eyes softened as you spoke, patiently waiting for his response whilst you hovered over his body.

 “Of course, my hope! But I just... I don’t want you to regret anything.” His voice wavered at the end of his sentence, looking away from you guiltily. 

You smiled fondly at his answer, “I could never regret anything with you.” You assured before craning your neck down and gently capturing his lips in yours without hesitation. 

As you two locked lips, his mind rinsed itself of his doubts about you not wanting to kiss him. The confident vibe you gave off as you kissed him, convinced him that maybe, just maybe you actually wanted to do this. 

making out!

like i mentioned before, you would have to initiate kisses and basically any type of physical affection, with some acceptions.

he would subconsciously cuddle you sometimes or leave you with a forehead or cheek kiss if you had assured him in advance that it was okay

a makeout session with Nagito would start of gentle, softer and more romantic.

every kiss would have meaning to it, he would put his love within each one.

but as he keeps going, he finds his self control slipping away when he hears your moans.

he gets a bit feral and messier, grabbing your waist to bring you closer to him.

eventually his lips would move down to your neck, leaving small gentle kisses as he moved down.

he wanted to leave evidence that he was on you, but he doesn’t want to taint your skin with him.

so he doesn't leave any visible marks

he, however, loves it when you mark him

any touch from you drives him crazy but damn, hickeys?

he would not shut up as you sucked on his neck,

constantly gasping and mewling.

he loves having proof of you on his neck, so he doesn't hide them.

he walks with pride as everyone openly gapes at his neck.

“Damn, Nagito getting some!” Kazuichi raised his hand to high five Nagito. You glared at them while Nagito shrugged and high-fived Kazuichi.

i don't really know where i went with kokichi’s, but i still hope it was somewhat enjoyable! Thank you for requesting!

[corysmiles]

Could you believe I actually am back with some Runnaway Experiment WRITING??? :D

This takes place very early on in the story, and gives some more insight into Tommy's life before they escaped (in the comics). Enjoy :D

-------

The experiment was growing years after years, to everyone’s delight. It seemed the first laboratorial human had a decent enough lifespan so that it could be studied in the long run. And so, 14 years, it has been since T0M saw the light of day, and it acted in a similar fashion a 14 year old human would. .

Of course, the many researchers failed to take in consideration an alteration of the most cumbersome. T0M looked human, could understand the english language, followed orders and didn’t complain, asked some questions but the specimen…. was big.

Too big to fit in a human bed.

Too big to fit comfortably in a room.

It went in spurts, which was terrifying the first time. It kept on growing and growing, as scientists hoped it wouldn't take long for it to stop, otherwise, it might lead to a lot of problems. But for the past 2 years, no noticeable change really occurred, which was a relief when the thing was already 25 ft tall. It never seemed to be challenging personality wise, which was a relief, but they still needed to keep him in line.

Hopefully, the Doctor Soot, as well as Doctor Puff took part in daily check ups and made sure he didn’t rebel.

So, every 2 day, they took turns to visit T0M in the room accustomed to its needs.

And both’s reports were excellent! T0M learned more while being as obedient and compliant as ever. Phil couldn’t be more happy with those results.

However, as time went on…. Wilbur failed to mention another kind of teaching he had going on with the subject for the past months.

“And this is called ‘Sadness’.” He held an A3 size paper with a moody smiley drawn on it, the word being written below. “It’s that feeling when our sessions are over and I have to go and you say ‘oh noooo’ in that voice.”

T0M was sitting on his knees in front of him, paying the utmost attention to what Wilbur was showing and saying.

“I hate that one.” He pouted.

“I know,” Wilbur chuckled. “No one likes to feel sad. But it’s a part of life.”

A single hum. Wilbur’s smile turned more sympathetic.

“Do you remember the other ones?” He stood up from his place and put the sheet in one of the dark grey metallic drawers.

T0M nodded, excitedly. He took his hand and poked his fingers as he counted. “ there’s “Happiness”, it’s the good one. And “Disgust”, it’s when I have to eat the weird green stuff.”

“Brocoli”

“That. And then there’s excitement, it’s when I smile real big because you come early.”

Wilbur clapped “Wonderful!” T0M’s eyes were shining stars at every approval from Doctor Soot. Even though T0M’s enjoyment was very appreciated and contagious, but it could be a bit… much, to handle at times.

“Since you understand the basics, I think it’s time for us to start a whole new lesson.” He clapped.

T0M gasped and cheered from the top of his lungs “YEAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”, throwing his arms in the air and effectively making the room shake from the sheer volume of his voice. When he looked back at the scientist, his eyebrows were pinched and the brunette was covering his ears and curled up, almost in pain.

“...Doctor?” He brought his head close to the man who, after making eye contact, scrambled back until he hit the same drawer he put the papers in earlier. T0M looked at him confused, face still too big in Wilbur’s peripheral.

“I… Tom, I appreciate your enthusiasm when we do our lessons, but if you could prevent yourself from screaming, it would be nice.” He tried in the most gentle voice he could muster without it shaking.

“What’s screaming?” T0M asked, crouched so his face was almost on the ground at eye level with him. He brought a hand closer to the doctor who was still breathing heavily. When his head shot to look at the hand, his body on alert, he froze before saying.

“... Is it a moment when I can’t touch you?”

Wilbur’s eyes were locked on the now frozen hand for a good second before returning to T0M, nodding. “Uh, yeah.”

“... Okay.”

The hand retracted in the following seconds, and soon, he was back in his initial position.

The doctor thanked before regaining his composure. He looked back at T0M, and his expression held remorse. A guilt twisted Wilbur's guts at the view. Thing is, as T0M grew up, people quickly realised he was the equivalent of clingy. He would constantly grab people into hugs and had a hard time keeping his voice down which resulted in a large noise blocker investment. And so they had a rule. T0M couldn’t make any sort of physical contact with anyone without being given explicit permission first. Obviously, most workers considered T0M as a test subject and therefore, wouldn’t give him that pleasure.

Wilbur, though, was not in the same vein. Once he realised how empathic and emotional and human T0M was, he started teaching him things a human teen should need, and started giving him a sort of affection a human teen should have. Which included some sort of physical affection.

When T0M was sad, he would sit next to him or pat his back. It quickly evolved as Wilbur accepted being held by the boy and brought to eye level as long as he was careful when doing so, and ever later, they would hug and wilbur would try to brush his hair at times.

Still, that didn’t make him immune to any of T0M’s carelessness which’s consequences were amplified ten fold due to his scale.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked pitifully.

“I- no, it’s not your fault. It can just be a bit overwhelming is all.” Wilbur explained.

“... what does that mean?”

“It means… when something is ‘too much’. Like when you want to bring Techno very close, but he keeps reminding you about the rule.”

“Oh.” T0M let his head fall. “... I don’t like that.” Wilbur scratched his head. “I want to be so close and show that I’m very happy and it’s all inside and I can’t let it out.”

“Well, here, it’s a bit more of the opposite. When outside, there is a lot and you’re incapable of letting it in.”

“... I’m sorry Wilbur” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, I’m not angry.” reassured the brunette. “I just have sensitive ears.”

“...Everyone has sensitive ears.”

“Well, when you’re a small guy like me, you’re sensitive on pretty much all fronts.”

“... It’s not fair.”

“What’s that?” Wilbur perked.

“When I stop getting big and strong, I want to hug you with all of my will. Like you do with me. It feels nice. I want you to feel nice just like that. I want you to be overwhelmed with happiness. I want to hug you so, so bad but I can't and it's shit. I don't want to be strong, I hurt you if I’m strong. I want to hug you."

Tommy vented, more to himself, and when he looked at Wilbur, his eyes shined, not with joy.

"Oh Tommy…."

It ached. It ached Wilbur to his core that something as simple as a hug was something he craved and still couldn't get. Because he knew. He knew all of the things T0M was missing out on. All the life he could have lived if he was granted freedom. How much he could live and appreciate. It kept him awake at night.

But he was here. Trapped. In a room barely tall enough to contain him, treated like a circus monster. And the worst thing was, T0M wasn't aware of it. Of all the life he wasn't living. How his life was no life and how he thinks this absence of everything is what life should be.

Plato would probably laugh in his grave.

"I promise you. One day, you will be able to do that. I promise you that I'll find a way for you to hug me just like you are a small man too. I promise you that I'll make you discover all of those joys of life, Tom. I Promise you. I will help you. And I'm sorry for not being able to provide it sooner. And I'll apologize for all the years it took for me to get it."

They stared at each other, and Tommy nodded, throat tight and eyes wet.

"And a promise makes sure that it's gonna happen." T0M croaked.

"Exactly, tom." Wilbur smiled. "You are going to live many more things."

The bell rang, and both faces fell a bit.

"I'll see you in 4 days, Tom. We're gonna have a little recap over the emotions you learned and then I'll teach you about relationships."

"Oohh, that sounds nice! What is it?"

As Wilbur packed his little bag, he looked at T0M and simply replied "it's all around you. But I'm not gonna spoil the next session. On that note, I wish you a nice week, Tom."

"Have a nice week, Wilbur! " T0M waved with a smile. "It's nice talking to you."

"It is my absolute pleasure, Tom."

And thus, they parted. As Wilbur walked down the immense corridor (just tall enough Tom could run through them.) He wore a satisfied smile. His small steps resonated, the only sound in the room, yet peaceful enough for his ears to listen to them as carefully as silence. Halfway through, the sound was doubled.

"Helloooo."

"Oh, hey techno! How are you?"

"Doing fine. You seem very happy."

"I am. I made some good progress with T-he subject. I feel like he's learning well. The next tests should have fabulous results."

"Ahh, wonderful. Let's make sure it doesn't learn too much though." He joked.

And at that, Wilbur chuckled, his hand on the man's shoulder. "Oh don't you worry about that, my friend. I can assure you that'll never happen"

"Amazing" techno replied, deadpan. Both nodded their conversation away and walked the rest of their ways.

As he got further away, the doctor's smile turned to an amused grin. His steps resonated, so much smaller than what could be, in a corridor in which the boy just next door should walk through.

"Don't you worry about a single thing."

MEL YES I ADORE THIS AU SO MUCH ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

Poor Tommy but at least Wilbur is helping him :”]

[animedaddymilkers]

Kinkmas 2020: Day Nine

Prompt: Corruption w/ Lee

Genre: Smut/18+ || Tags: Corruption, Loss of Virginity, Fingering, Oral, Unprotected Sex, Creampie || Characters: Rock Lee, Female Reader || read it on ao3 here

Lee's voice was shaky and unsure as you positioned yourself on his lap, "Are… Are you sure it is okay we are doing this?"

"Yes, it's okay we're doing this. I want to do it, so if you also want to do it it's okay. If you're uncomfortable, tell me?"

His head nodded quickly before he quietly gasped when your hands rested on his chest. When your boyfriend told you he was entirely and totally a virgin, never touched, never kissed, it didn't exactly surprise you. Lee was a loving person but reserved in his affections, especially romantic affections. He was adamant about saving himself for someone who he loved deeply and loved him just as much. That's what left you in your predicament now. You both knew your love went deep for the other and Lee sheepishly admitted he wanted you to be his first. The words were sweet and you'd be lying if you said the idea of taking his virginity didn't turn you on.

Just seeing the way your hands affected him had you getting wet. His cheeks were a deep red but he was determined to make love to you. The spandex suit covering his body didn't hide much, including the growing bulge you felt beneath you. You moved your hips slowly over his and his hands grasped your waist tightly. Even if he tried he wouldn't have been able to hold back his moans. Your lips met his, kissing him softly to start with before gently biting his bottom lip. He whined against your mouth and you couldn't help but smirk. Tonight was going to be a slow-moving event in order to make Lee feel the most comfortable. After all, you only lose your virginity once and you were determined to make it enjoyable and memorable for him.

"I love you, (Y/N)" Lee broke the kiss long enough to profess his feelings for the millionth time that day.

You nodded and kissed down his neck, reaching around him to begin unzipping his jumpsuit, "I love you too, Lee."

He took in a deep breath and held it as you revealed more of his toned torso. You've seen him shirtless plenty of time, but this time was so much different. Especially once the jumpsuit reached his waist and kept going lower. Every few inches you glanced up at him to make sure he was still confident in the decision. Unsurprisingly, his mind didn't falter, he was serious about going all the way with you. After the green fabric was discarded to the floor you smirked seeing he was already half-hard. Since you were already on your knees in front of him you took it upon yourself to wrap your hand around him and give a few testing pumps.

His hands gripped the edge of the couch as he gasped and bit his lip. It felt so much different to have someone else's hand wrap around his cock and the fact that it was you only made it better for him. You stroked him slowly, allowing him to get accustomed to the feeling before you continued. Really you weren't sure how long this would last, seeing as it was Lee's first time he was already gasping and moving his hips to meet your hand. But you didn't want to rush it either, and your boyfriend was known for his sheer determination and stamina. So only time would tell how much you'd get to corrupt him tonight. Your hand twisted around his cock as it moved up and down, using your thumb to brush over his tip when you came back up. Without much warning, Lee whined and was cumming on your hand, even shooting some onto his stomach. The action had you grinning, eyes locked onto his face twisting in pleasure.

"Do you want me to use my mouth still? You wanna fuck my face?"

"D-Don't say it like that!"

"Oh, you don't want to?"

"I do!"

"You do what, sweetheart?"

You didn't think it possible for him to blush more but he proved you wrong, the pink tint spreading down his chest and over his ears, "I… I want to fuck your face, (Y/N)"

With the permission given to go ahead you didn't say another word, simply leaned forward and began to lick his cum up. Whatever amount he softened after his first orgasm was already forgotten as he stood fully hard again. The lewd sight of you cleaning his cum up drove him crazy. It was so naughty but it made him feel good, made him feel sexy. And in your eyes he was, hell it was no secret he took care of his body and his cum actually tasted good as a result. After his mess was cleaned, you turned your attention back to your original mission, licking a stripe up the underneath of his cock. His hands nervously wound their way into your hair, no doubt going to get tangled, but that was a problem for future-you. Your lips then finally wrapped around his cock and he held his breath, watching as your mouth took his length. The sight was unlike anything he ever imagined and it felt so good around him. So warm and wet. He was convinced it couldn't possibly get better and then you swallowed around his cock. He leaned forward with a gasp and his fingers tightened the grip they had on your hair. You slowly brought your mouth up, swirling your tongue around his tip just to tease him further. Your ulterior motive was to break him, to force him to give in to his needs and take a bit of what he wanted.

Lee was such a selfless person it was time for him to get a little greedy. So, you kept slowly bobbing your head, intent on making him fall apart. It surprisingly didn't take long for him to give an experimental thrust into your mouth. You moaned and locked eyes with him, letting him know that's exactly what you wanted him to do. He got the message but still didn't want to hurt you so his next thrust was still gentle and more of a twitch of his hips than anything. Your nails raked down his thighs and he lost it, roughly thrusting up into your mouth this time making you gag slightly. The feeling was heavenly and the next thrust came quickly after, this time allowing you to be a bit more prepared. His hips moved up rhythmically to bury himself in your mouth before slowly pulling out. Always a fast learner, he found his rhythm and kept it, only being thrown off when you hollowed out your cheeks and rubbed your tongue on his underside. A few minutes of fucking your mouth later, he was shoving his cock in again and cumming on your tongue.

Panting hard he pulled out, groaning when you showed him the cum on your tongue before swallowing all of it. His fingers untangled from your hair and rubbed at his face, taking a minute to absorb everything that's happened so far. Meanwhile, you lifted yourself from the floor and back onto the couch after undressing yourself. The sight snapped Lee out of his thoughts as he took in every inch of your bare skin. His hands reached out before pausing, looking to you for some kind of permission. You grinned at the innocent gesture and nodded at him, taking his hands in yours and leading them to your bare chest. His rough fingertips flicked over your nipples, marveling in the way it made you lean your head back. He did it again, now on a mission to draw out more noises from you. So he tried to take it up a notch, now squeezing your nipples between his fingers and tugging slightly. You moaned his name and he felt his cock twitch between his legs. His name coming out of your mouth sounding like that was enough to drive him wild. He's pretty sure his heart skipped a beat when you did it the second time.

After that, he's not quite sure what came over him but he wanted to know what would happen if he took it further yet. So he leaned down and licked at your tit before wrapping his mouth around it, sucking gently. He was going to figure out everything that made you tick if it killed him. And this must have been something that really drove you wild, given by your moans and the way you tugged on his hair. The hand that wasn't giving attention to your other nipple trailed down your body and between your legs. Now, he wasn't really sure what he was doing here. But as he switched nipples he felt around, taking note of how wet you were between your legs. All he did was probe around for a while, taking in the feel of it before you spread your legs a bit more.

You took his hand and he pulled his mouth away, looking down between your legs. For a brief moment you thought he might pass out, but you took his hand and showed him where your clit was before leading him down and sliding two of his fingers inside of you. Lee licked his lips before biting onto his bottom lip, taking in the sight beneath him, his fingers disappearing inside of you. He slowly pulled them out almost all the way before pushing them back in. Your content sigh broke his concentration for a moment, moving your hips down onto his digits.

"Add another one."

The command was simple but it still took a couple of seconds for him to process it before he nodded and slowly pushed a third finger inside of you, "Mmm, it feels so good to have your fingers fucking me. Here, you can rub my clit too baby, just like this."

You took his other hand, teaching him how to rub your clit just right and he took each lesson to heart. Lee followed your directions and when you told him to speed up he did, the strength in his wrists and forearms making this their time to shine. He was never one to disappoint and he worked your clit, taking note of what really took your breath away and what made your toes curl. So it was no surprise that when he found your g-spot he kept rubbing his fingers against it with every thrust. Soon you were gripping his hair, something that felt oddly good to him. Your hips twisted under his ministrations, legs beginning to shake as you started to dangle close to the edge of orgasm. Lee wasn't exactly confident about what you were experiencing, but you were moaning and not complaining so that had to be a good sign! And he continued his thrusts and rubs you screamed out his name, juices coating his fingers as your insides clenched around them. He stared open-mouthed at the scene before him, your chest heaving as you came down from your high and he slowly pulled his fingers out of you. For a brief moment, you were unsure of what he was going to do, just staring at his hand covered in your cum until he slipped his digits into his own mouth. You raised an eyebrow and grinned at the sight. Your innocent baby definitely wasn't as innocent anymore.

"Can I use my mouth on you now? Can I," He paused for a minute, his hands sliding up your sides, "Can I fuck you with my mouth?"

"Of course. Be my guest."

His eyes twinkled and he moved down more until his head was between your legs. The taste from his fingers still lingered on his tongue but he wanted more. It was such a dirty thought but he needed more of you, wanted to taste more of you. His tongue licked gently against your slit, his fingers spreading your lips to get a better view. Once he saw your pretty little hole he slid his tongue in, swirling it around to clean up all the juices still leaking out. One of his thumbs pressed against your clit again, taking note of how your hips spasmed at the action, still sensitive from the last orgasm. Slowly, his tongue fucked in and out of you, trying to get deeper with each thrust. You moaned when he shoved it in deep and then swirled it around. Not to mention his thumb rubbing on your clit only quickened, easily throwing you into a second orgasm not long after your first. Lee pulled his tongue out a bit and happily lapped up all the juices before pulling away.

He sat back on his feet as he looked at you pant heavily, "Mmm, what now?"

The question was genuine as if he seriously didn't know what the next step was, "Well, now you fuck me, big boy. That is if you want to…"

"I want to!"

You laughed softly at his enthusiasm and hooked a leg over the back of the couch, inviting him back in between your legs. An invitation which he happily accepted. He kneeled before you, leaning over your body to kiss you. You leaned down and helped him guide his cock into your pussy. Lee gasped quietly before moaning, his hands gripping onto your waist as he bottomed out inside of you. He panted softly, getting accustomed to the feeling of your insides pressing against him. Your moans broke him out of his trance and his hips slowly pulled back before snapping forward. This was the part you loved, the part where they just went feral feeling pussy for the first time. Lee was no different, fucking into you with little restraint, only trying to hold back so he could make sure you were also getting pleased from the action. He felt up your body and kissed you tenderly, your name falling from his mouth like a prayer.

"It is so hot inside of you, (Y/N)! I love fucking you!" His hips pounded against yours ruthlessly. He couldn't stop now even if he tried, only hoping desperately that nothing would make him stop. You felt too good wrapped around him and he knew he wouldn't last long, the feeling of his stomach tightening fast approaching. So he yet again reached down and his nimble fingers rubbed against your abused little clit. You gasped out his name as he rubbed you, his cock pressing up into you at the same time. Hell, for a first-timer he wasn't about to disappoint, but you should have expected nothing less from Lee. It was obvious he was trying to hold back his orgasm until you reached yours. If you wouldn't be getting the shit fucked out of you, you would have asked what he was thinking. No doubt giving himself some ridiculous punishment if he came before you did. So when you felt your toes start to curl again you fully embraced it, not about to make him wait any longer. Your third orgasm washed over you with more intensity than the others, whiting your vision out for a few seconds. As you fell apart, so did Lee, groaning as his cock twitched inside of you. You both panted hard against the other's neck while Lee pulled out and kissed you. A few minutes passed and Lee broke the kiss, his hands caressing the sides of your face.

"Can I fuck you again, (Y/N)?" His bright smile was on his face, showing no signs of fatigue from all you just did together. And it was in that moment you realized that by corrupting Konoha's handsome devil, you created a monster…

hope you enjoyed! remember likes & reblogs help me reach more people! :D

[lvnatiq]

Modern!au Felix Escellun x tattoo artist!gn!reader | Headcanons

a/n: Hey!!! I’m back at it again with my beautifully fucked up request fill. I’m still working on three other things, while I make you wait I took it upon myself to not starve this fandom. So here you have it. Please reblog or comment so that I have a crumb of motivation to keep up.

Should I do a smutty pt. 2 ? Who knows lmao.

Your hand slipped through the pile of designs that your colleague (and your close friend) had sent you to choose and pick apart from.

Unfortunately you were spending the night at the beautiful library of your uni, trying to balance off your school work with your actual work.

You didn’t mind spending your time under the faint scent of books and the mere sound of wood beneath you feet, but what you ‘do’ mind is the fact that the library is way colder than you thought it would be after the midnight.

Good thing that the yearning for finishing your work and leaving as soon as possible made it easier to concentrate on the task at hand.

It also made it easier for you to not notice the presence of an unexpected company.

That was until you felt the warm floral yet musky scent invade your senses as you felt the weight of cotton drape around your shoulders.

You slowly turn your head towards the owner of the coat who’s already making their way out. Desperately trying to find a way to make them stop but failing to raise your voice because of the circumstances.

The last picture of the person buried in your head was their hair caressed by the wind and their quick steps.

Fast forward to a week later, going completely out of luck with finding a place to stay you decide to ask help from your friend whom interestingly has a lot to offer.

With things going a lot smoother than you expected you stopped by the tattoo shop to finish your appointments with couple of customers before you left to meet up with your possible candidate.

“Don’t bother I’ll just call him here so you could talk comfortably.”

Your work seemed to take a lot longer than usual. So you kindly accepted your friends offer as you wrapped up the leftover stuff, finishing up the last customer.

“Hey, oh-“

The sight of your guest tickled your memories as you kept glaring at the glorious figure in front of you.

Felix, completely avoiding eye contact, placed the fallen hair strand behind his ear as he kept his eyes on the table of the tattoo equipments.

You quickly got up as you grabbed his coat from the hanger and walked back where you left him.

“Thank you for the coat, you really saved me back there.”

“Oh- no problem.”

That day you two chatted and melted the ice in between. Deciding to rent the close by apartment and start your roommate era.

Your friend smiled to themselves knowing all too well that felix was completely crazy about you.

Your encounter at the library wasn’t a coincidence either, well don’t think of him as a stalker now, he just dumped a couple of coins in the fountain wishing that you would be there that night. That’s all.

As you two moved in together you realized that there were a lot of things to be ‘caught off guard’ about him but you were most baffled by the tremendous amount of books felix owned.

“Hey Lover boy ! Would you mind recommending me some of them ?”

Felix blushes terribly and you love it so much that you constantly bother him in order to catch a glimpse of his flustered state.

Unbeknownst to you, the pile that felix left on the doorstep of your room was consisted of the books that he thought of you as he read.

Felix, abandoning his night owl habit, decided to fix his sleeping schedule for the better. Definitely not because he wanted to see you at morning before you got off to the work.

Insisting on offering you a ride on your way back home with his nice car.

Nearly every single day.

He knows that it may annoy you but he knows how much you are devoted to your responsibilities so he at least wants for you to save a bit of energy before you dive into the work.

Speaking of his nice car, it tickled your curiosity so you decided to check the price tag on the web and... well...

“Felix... you don’t so some sketchy illegal shit for a living right ?”

“It’s nearly impossible for me to work at the moment because of my studies. Why did you ask ?”

“Your car costs more than the apartment we are living in right now.”

With that, you discover that Felix’s father owns one of the most prominent chains of pharmaceutical companies and that he basically flee from his fathers mansion because he was pressuring Felix to take over his position in the future.

Being his puppet was not a thing to be tolerated in Felix’s book.

That being said, your domestic life with felix was pretty soft to say the least.

Cleaning together, cooking while talking about how your day went or getting to enjoy his expressions while he spilled his frustration against authors that didn’t affect him well.

Occasionally noticing the new cooking books appearing out of nowhere

and the delicious smell of food welcoming you after work, quite often than you expect.

Finally, more skinship.

One day whilst you two got through the gates of your apartment block you noticed the open doors of the elevator so instinctively you held Felix by the hand and ran into the mirrored box.

What you didn’t notice was the fact that you didn’t let go of his hand as you two went up.

From that day on Felix used every single opportunity to sneak his hand into yours.

Don’t blame him, it’s just that your hands are warm and the feeling of security that radiates from your fingertips is his medicine.

You absolutely avoided to tease or point it out to him because you knew that he would never do it again so you went with the flow.

You really enjoyed it though.

Snaking your arms around his waist while he is organizing the bookshelf. Feeling him shutter into your arms.

Nights became more and more enjoyable once he started to accompany you.

Everytime you caught him slacking on the sofa, you used his lap as a pillow.

Felix is extremely easy to figure out, mainly because he can’t hide anything.

Also, well

He is ticklish and you use his weakness against him, a lot.

Diving your fingers down to the sides of his tummy you started to tickle every possible sensitive spot you could catch on.

“Spit it out.”

“I-I wan’t you to- give me my first tattoo.”

Telling his words apart from his adorable giggles, needless to say you were ecstatic.

“Alright. What do I get in return ?”

“Name your price.”

You thoughtfully stared at the ceiling, humming as you blurted out your very obviously well thought out response.

“I want you to show me what keeps you up all night.”

You can’t be serious.

If you asked for an organ, he would’ve been more compliant.

You didn’t know what you got yourself into.

You basically asked for him to show you his ‘masterpieces’ that he showcases on AO3. Something that you were already well aware of.

“Deal ?”

“No !”

“Good ! Let’s see what you got.”

Felix anonymously contributed to the community by writing some of the most famous slow-burn stories on the web.

Just so you know, his author persona blew up thanks to the mind blowing, earth shattering smuts he wrote.

Yeah you heard that right

Smuts

Well he is fucking panicking now.

Nonetheless days kept on going as felix prayed each night to every single deity that you forgot your ‘deal’.

The days go on even if his worries don’t.

Did I say that Felix is a whimpering, whiny mess ? he struggles to stay in one position as the needle drags upon his skin.

“If you plan to keep on moving, I might as well strap you down felix. 5 more minutes and then we are done. Please behave.”

When you put it like that how can he refuse I mean you made things worse he is internally screaming at what you just said but he is not going to refuse a command when it’s given by you.

In exchange for giving him a tattoo you decide to let him give you one even though he’s inexperienced.

He’s terrified because he thinks that something would go wrong, his hand would slip or something and he would scratch that pretty skin of yours with a horrendous tattoo.

But you assured him nevertheless and offered him to draw something very minimal and easy. He accepted eventually.

As it turns out Felix is a natural. His hand is extremely steady and the tattoo turns out great.

Throughout the process he’s constantly asking if you’re hurt because he thinks that he’s doing something wrong but in fact he’s very delicate and gentle with the strokes and his touch.

You decide to be evil and use it against him. After you touch up your tattoo you lean in very closely and turn your cheek towards him.

“What are you doing ?” He stutters.

“I can’t possibly ask you to kiss my freshly made tattoo, so won’t you give me a kiss so that it heals faster.”

If his hands were steady before they weren’t now.

As soon as his lips left your cheek you held him by his wrist and pull him back close again so that you can lean in onto his ear.

“Don’t think that I’ve forgotten our deal. I am excited to see what you have in store for me tonight.” You winked.

Then the worst thing happened

The “tonight” came.

Felix was running in circles around the living room with one hand on his forehead wondering what could get worse after this.

Maybe you’ll be disgusted or scared hell if he knows.

He wanted to do nothing to harm your relationship in anyway because you and what you two have is all he ever wanted.

...and he believes that he has a tendency to ruin things.

But what happened was beyond his expectations.

Your eyes followed every single sentence throughout the screen, the white light traced your expressions as your eyebrows raised up and down and the corners of your lips inched closer to your ears. Your lower lip became a victim of your teeth’s assault.

He was so confused. Still waiting for you to lash out or make fun of him, at least.

“I used to think ‘what am I gonna do with you’ when it comes to you. Mostly out of frustration.”

Yet here you were with the laptop closed shut and your arms behind your head as you closed your eyes and groaned.

Slowly the smile plastered on your face grew.

”Now I know what to with you.”

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Doctor Who - Revolution of the Daleks

TLDR: I liked it! But I do have some nitpicks. But bottom line, I liked it! Especially the exit! 

Apologies going in, if it’s rambling and incoherent.

First off, I’m going to get my criticisms out of the way:

- They really need to hire these two people:

a) Sensitivity readers

b) They need to have people of color in charge of casting. Andy Pryor has done a great job casting people but. Since they opened up casting more actors of color to be more diverse... most people in guest roles die. So it ends up being Not A Great Look.

It’s the kind of breezy: We’re hiring more actors of color without really considering the optics of it. Colorblind casting in this way shouldn’t be colorblind. More diversity behind the scenes is needed, especially in casting.

Colorblind casting isn’t representation. Execs have to consider how it looks that a black man is helping create ‘Security Drones’ for the government.

c) I get why Jack Robertson lived, and I’m actually okay with it because I know Chibbs is going somewhere and he’s interconnecting Specials to be their own kind of continuity, so next Special or series we will have Robertson appearing. But I can’t believe the Doctor believed Robertson. Unless she’s really learned from not interfering with politics, but man I wish there’s more vindication to that. I do have a sense of where this is going though, more on that later.  

d) I wish they’d gone harder with the Dalek = Police thing.

e) I really kind of wish the Doctor escaped on her own.

And now for my thoughts and the happy!

RYAN! I LOVE RYAN. I LOVE RYAN BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND PUSHING BACK ON THE DOCTOR. It felt... earned that they do and, Ryan’s always been the more hesitant of the three and the more grounded. I love that it’s Ryan that the Doctor confided in, I’ve always felt like Ryan was the one Thirteen connected to the most after Grace died. And I love his development, ever since Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos Ryan is the first to quote the Doctor back to herself from the guns rule and now here to ‘New can be scary’, reminding the Doctor of her own words.

But also, I love that Ryan felt more connected to Earth, with his friends. Yaz was always the one who looks to the horizon. I like that Ryan pushed back on the smokescreen the Doctor tried to put up. Ryan was tired of the smokescreen. He had 10 months to work on his feelings about it and realized... he liked being home.

I wish we saw more what they were doing at home, like what Chibnall wrote for the Ponds in Power of Three. I did see this was his arc he was building to.

I liked that Graham was torn but eventually his loyalties are with Ryan.

I honestly think the fam thought the Doctor was just gone for a week, her time.

Also: FINALLY A COMPANION EXIT WHERE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY. And because it’s time.

NO MORE TRAPPED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE OR DYING OR BEING CONVERTED PLEASE. Anyway, that is why I was vindicated because I was getting pretty antsy at all the twitter posts almost gleeful at the thought of companion death.

Nope. No more please. No more world ending, universe ending, heartbreaking ends. I want a Jo Grant walk away, and that is what happened. (Er, I hope we don’t get a Tegan leaving from Yaz, though. Sad and disillusioned walk away).

Yaz. Oh, dear, Yaz, who seems to have tossed her career away running after the Doctor’s shining star. I loved her conversation with Jack, he was a nice contrast and sounding board. Also, Jack was much kinder to the Doctor because they didn’t miss each other, the Doctor (according to RTD’s retcon) deliberately left Jack on Satellite Five.

Yaz is willing to run and jump without looking because of the Doctor and I love that we got her feelings about this.

And, of course, the Doctor. The moment Ryan said she missed 10 months, I felt she knew the clock was ticking on her ‘fam’. She’s trying to be good to them and do right by them.

(The Doctor knows Ryan’s ready to leave, she knew it. She’s trying to be in denial about it. But she knows).

It’s a small detail but when she processed the ‘ten months’ bit, she quickly looked to Ryan. Because if it’s one of the subtext things around is that she wanted to be a better father to Ryan than his real dad. But she still skipped out on him unknowingly.

The way he just brushed it off, because the worst part is. Ryan is used to it.

It’s sad that the Doctor opening up to the fam was brought on after a decades’ long solitary, and probably a promise to be better. But, she calculated wrong, or the TARDIS deliberately chose to go to that time. Whatever the case, just when she’s opening up to them is when Ryan decided his time with the Doctor was at an end.

God, the moment when Thirteen said: “Mostly... angry.”

I felt this. hard.

I think it was @ssaalexblake​ who mentioned that Thirteen acknowledging she’s angry might help with all of Thirteen’s repressed anger issues. And I think these are baby steps towards that.

She’s actually been so angry for so long, but she kept pushing it down. Like I said, Thirteen, in a way, reminds me of Raylan Givens of Justified. People think he’s mild mannered, but as his ex-wife amicably opined, Raylan was the angriest man she knew.

And I feel this for this Doctor but at least, now she’s addressing it. The first step in fixing a problem, is identifying the problem.

This was made in 2019. Thirteen being in a repeating lockdown felt very 2020 to me. The things that made me go: Oof, was the Harry Potter thing, the Doctor’s always loved HP. Unfortunately it’s post-2020 hindsight where we go: whoof.

I love Thirteen still mouthing off and being obnoxious towards other Doctor Who baddies. The Weeping Angel thing is cool and so are the Silents. BUT ALSO THE DOCTOR CALLED THE P’TING TINY! AND SHE TRIED TO EAT THE PRISON BARS. 

And then, of course, being more obnoxious with the Daleks. It’s pretty clear the difference in rawness of the Doctor’s feelings for the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Daleks’s an old ember. Her feelings for them are ice cold. A purity of feeling. The Daleks are evil and she has no compunction on killing them, the Cybermen? More personal and a raw nerve.

She’s willing to be cold towards the Daleks. 

I really like that Yaz has more skin in the game, and she knows what she can lose now. And after her talking with Jack, after seeing his perspective on it, and from his words knows that sometimes the Doctor just disappears from people’s lives.

And I love the pushback:

Skewered.

But true because she is trying to stay still and be with the fam and not leave them. But the unfortunate truth is, the Doctor does run away, and the Doctor does leave people behind and a lot of the times, the Doctor doesn’t come back because they’re an emotional coward.

The thing about Thirteen is she’s probably the longest of the Doctors to not disappoint her companions. She’s always managed to stop bad guys and always been there for them.  It’s an impressive track record for the Doctor. She’s built herself up in their eyes as someone they can rely on, and then she failed them by not getting back to them in time.

It’s not her fault, and none of them know how long it’s been for the Doctor, by the way she’s asked them I feel like they think she’s only been gone for a week.

Honestly, I’m impressed how the Doctor didn’t make it about her -- being in prison for longer than they thought. She’s looking at it from their point of view, because she already knows what big leaps in time would affect her friends.

TBH Revolution of the Daleks felt like shades of Last Christmas in that the Doctor regretted missing out time with her companion/s. In Last Christmas, the Doctor got his time back with Clara, in RotD, time passed.

Back to the Doctor and the Daleks tho.

This reminded of Twelve’s: “You are monsters. That is the role you seem determined to play. So it seems I must play mine. The Man that stops the Monsters.”

(Look, Chibnall’s Moffat references aren’t as sledgehammer, but he does reference a lot of Moffat’s things.).

Except with Thirteen, I’m actually more terrified. Jodie does this thing where her eyes goes black and she kind of disappears into herself, this is what happened here. This promise isn’t actually good IMO.

This is not a comforting face. This is a ‘I’m gonna kill a whole boatload of Daleks face and I’m not sorry, in fact I might enjoy doing that’ face.

(And, a brief aside to Robertson, I feel like the Specials have their own kind of special ‘movie’ continuity and more of his story will play out in the Specials, where hopefully he will get his comeuppance because, to me, I feel that’s where it’s going. This is more groundwork laying.

I don’t like it when the Doctor interferes with Human affairs, especially government -- because look what happened with Harriet Jones and how the Doctor broke the Golden Age. Also, I don’t want real world leaders to exist in the Whoverse because I want them to have a completely different track from us. So. Yeah, New Year’s Specials have their ongoing storyline. I’m actually not mad about it, and I enjoy Mr. Big’s performance. He’s a sleezeball. A sleezeball that knows more now. (He isn’t T rump but he isn’t better either). At least I find him enjoyable and not outright offensive. I’m okay seeing him again for the next Specials. I hope next time he does get his comeuppance.)

Now, the goodbyes:

 The HUG.

We’ve been waiting for the Doctor to be more physically affectionate with the fam, and it took the Doctor being locked down for decades (maybe?), and Ryan and Graham leaving for her to hug them. And we’re all right, Thirteen gives great hugs.

The feeling Thirteen’s been running away from is here, sadness. It’s good that Yaz decided to stay other wise... she’s just going to run headlong into forgetting her problems, Doctor Style.

And again, learning and re-learning things: ‘It’s okay to be sad.’

Oh, Thirteen.

(Before Twelve, I don’t think I was this sympathetic to the Doctor -- no wait, I was with Nine. Ten and Eleven tested my patience but it’s with Twelve and Thirteen where I’m 100% invested in the Doctor.

I also love that they’re kind of soft touching the Timeless Child thing, and as someone on twitter mentioned, this feels like an examination of an adoption story. The Doctor is going to search for their identity, their home).

I honestly wish Jack stayed in the TARDIS with Thirteen and Yaz. Jack’s a great balance, especially pushing back at the Doctor and her tactics. Her NUCLEAR tactics. I am glad that the Doctor’s still a dick to Jack, not much of an asshole as they were when the Doctor was Ten but still a dick.

Also, one thing I really love about Barrowman is that when he’s in Doctor Who, he knows it’s not his show and he doesn’t showboat, and the man can showboat. 

I’d rather Jack than random guy that I didn’t even know was gonna happen until very late.

Anyway, TLDR to all this: I enjoyed this very much! Still a lot to be parsed through in things that needs to be parsed through as I mentioned, but on the whole? I loved it.

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Diary found in K---D--- : Part 2

So, here's the next little part of this :D

Imagine by @lathalea is indented!

Enjoy <3

Taglist: @shrimpsthings, @mulasawala (so you see where I'm going with this lol)

(Yes, there will be MORE artwork coming, stay posted...)

Fandom: Hobbit

Characters: Ori x OC

Rating & Warning: Fluff and silliness

His name was Ori and he was a scribe in Erebor. It turned out he visited the forest often to sketch the animals and plants. You spent the rest of the day together. In the evening, you exchanged campfire stories, sharing a meal. At one point, he shyly asked about where you came from. Blushing, he admitted, almost whispering, he never saw a person with such beautiful hair before.

You told him that you came from another world, from a region called East Asia, where many people looked similarly to you. He was very curious about your homeland, your culture and your world. You spent hours telling him everything about it and he listened to you in awe.

“Ori.” He replied, his lips quirking a tiny bit as if he was not used to speaking his own name. “I’m a scribe. In Erebor. The Mountain.” He pointed to a tree beyond the clearing.

Thankfully, I was familiar with the Lonely Mountain and did not think that he didn’t know the difference between a living organism and a pile of minerals.

“I have never seen you, neither here nor in that Mountain.” I replied, for I went into the halls sometimes to translate for travellers, but for the most part, I let the king be his grumpy, glorious self.

“I come here often, to sketch, but I seem to have lost my way.” He admitted with a tiny frown. Ah, a real dwarf. They only knew up and down seemingly and if there was no way into a hill, they’d stubbornly trek up until they tumbled off the other side again.

As if to prove to me that he was not lying – dear reader, he had a face that was utterly devoid of malice or dissimulation – he showed me rather good sketches of the fauna and flora of the dense forest surrounding us. “That is really good, Ori, the scribe, from under the Mountain.” I commented which made him blush with a fierce and, apparently, unexpected pleasure.

In an expression of indescribable cuteness, he literally wiped his face with his sleeve as if he could clean away the rosy hue like a stubborn ink stain from under his skin.

“What are you here for?” He then asked, pushing out his chest heroically. As a reminder, he was the one who had lost his way, but apparently, he wanted to defend either the forest from me or the other way around.

“I am here to think…in silence.” I replied; he retreated a few steps. “Oh? I’ll leave you to it then, I guess. It was great to make your acquaintance…”

I gave him my name, after all, he had given me his, and he chewed on it for a few moments before his face split into a smile that was like the sunlight breaking through the cloudy afternoon sky: tentative, warm, and strikingly beautiful.

“Stay. I like your face.” I heard myself saying. Maybe, it was my teasing, mischievous streak acting up, but I had liked his embarrassment so much that I couldn’t help wanting to coax more of these blushes out of him.

“My…face?” In that weird dance he had been engaged in for the last few minutes, Ori stepped closer again, shuffling his feet in the heavy boots dwarrows insisted on wearing.

No, your ass, I thought, but bit my tongue; Ori the dwarf looked like someone who would die on the spot if I said anything even remotely inappropriate…as I was wont to do when nervous.

My sarcastic thought spurred my own interest though and I examined him a little closer: he was indeed swaddled like a babe, beads of sweat pearling down his temples on account of the steep climb and the stubborn blush powdering his nose and cheeks with pink blotches.

“Sit down, you’ll get a heat stroke.” I invited him and pointed to a patch of moss beside me while rummaging in my pack for the flask of ale I had brought.

“Thank you ever so much.” He plopped down in a cascade of earthen-coloured wool and awkward limbs. He did smell warm, I noticed, a blend of cinnamon and comfort.

Also, he had one of those faces that only became better when seen up-close, I admit freely; there were golden stars dancing in the depth of his dark eyes and he had the most adorable freckles as if some outlandish fairy had sprinkled gold dust over that heart-wrenchingly handsome face.

“Are you thirsty, Mistress?” He asked, nodding at the flask in my hand.

Handing it to him rather abruptly, I realised that I had spent the last moments intently staring at his face as if I had never seen a male dwarf before in my life.

“I have work to do.” I snapped, feeling immediately guilty for taking my own embarrassment out on him, but he merely nodded and pulled his sketching supplies into his lap.

Strangely enough, Ori did not disturb me. If anything, the silence felt fuller, richer, deeper with him by my side. As I translated a letter, as a spinster I had to support my family and my insufferable sisters as best as I could, I felt like the chirping of the birds and the vibrancy of the colours around me were even more enjoyable now that I shared them with someone else.

…

The sun crept along its never-changing arc slowly and yet, much too fast.

As I looked up, I wished I was a better painter myself, for this dwarrow was made for sunsets.

The way the last golden hurrah of a perfect day exploded in a halo of warmth around his figure, the way all the greys and the blues seemed to bleed out of the world to leave nothing but warm tones behind, and the way his smile was the perfect expression of this mellow, unhurried mood…it struck me deeper and more violently than a thunderstorm in all its booming rage would have.

“Will you join me for dinner, Ori?” I asked gently, “I shall escort you back down.”

“It would be my honour.” He nodded, tearing out a page of his notebook and handing it over.

“It was an invitation; I do not demand payment.” I said seriously, for the sketch of the doe was so good, it might have been worth actual money. “Oh…” His nose crinkled at little at that.

“I wanted you to…have something beautiful. I have seen you work very hard.”

Of course, he was a scribe as well, he would consider the scribbling work, I thought and gave him a thankful smile. “You’re beauty enough for one day.” I shrugged.

He gasped, bringing his notebook up to his face as if to shield himself from my words.

“You’re having me on, aren’t you? Dori has warned me that girls do that sometimes.” He sounded utterly dejected. “I am not having you on. Has nobody ever told you that you’re handsome?” It was my turn to be wide-eyed with shock.

“And who is Dori?” I followed-up when he didn’t really reply to my question even though I thought I had seen his braids move like strings of pearls in a draft. The minutest of shakes of the head, a quiet admission of inadequacy that sunk ugly, ragged claws into my soft heart.

“He’s my brother. I have two of them. Dori…and Nori. They’re…” – “Older than you.” I completed. “Protective.” He supplied.

He was still holding his drawing out to me, and, after a moment, I took it gingerly and put it between the pages of my own writing supplies. I would hang it in my room and look at it daily.

Nowadays, there were but very few gifts for me; all the money went to my two younger sisters who were still nubile and would, if Mahal willed it so, be able to make a good match.

Busying my hands with making a fire, I asked him to tell me about his brothers.

“Oh, Nori is…agile. He’s…funny and brave and resourceful.” Ori started, his voice warm with affection and admiration. He sounded like a proper rogue to me, and as it turned out, he was, but he also deserved every single ounce of the deep-felt care Ori held for him.

“Dori is…fussy. He’s polite, he’s very caring, and he’s exceedingly proper.” Ori went on as I waved a hand for him not to stop. I enjoyed hearing about the life of other families than my own.

“So, is he the one who raised you to be this…warmly clad and gentle?” I asked, turning to place the foodstuffs I had brought up and stored in the cool lake water on spits to roast over the fire.

“Warm? Oh yes…I was a sickly pebble and he’s been worried ever since. I hope I have behaved in a way that would not make him disappointed in me.” Again, he worried his lip.

“Let’s see, you’ve startled a bird and an unsuspecting dwarrowdam.” I listed with a wicked gleam in my eyes; his face fell, and he looked properly guilty.

“Then, you’ve kept me company, and the best company I’ve ever had, it has been, on my grandmother’s grave, I swear.” I went on and that treacherous blush was back with a vengeance.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.” He then said in a low voice. “Great beauty is always startling.”

“I am hardly Thorin Oakenshield.” He laughed. Readers, you cannot imagine that sound just by reading my words. If flowers blossoming had melody, if the sun setting on the eternal sea had a song, if autumn leaves dancing on a gale had a tune, they would have sounded like nails on scree, like cats having their tails trampled, and like kettles going unheeded compared to Ori’s laughter.

“There’s beauty in the doe as much as in the wolf.” I replied gently.

“May I…can I ask where you’re from? I don’t seek to be rude, but I’ve never seen anyone quite like you; your hair looks like those fabrics the Elves weave. It…seems so soft, so liquid, so smooth.” He blushed a darker shade yet.

This might well have been the first time that someone had asked me about my origins without making it sound like an accusation; there was honest fascination in his demeanour.

“My family and I have come from the Far East. I have travelled a lot, Ori, I have seen landscapes entirely made up of rock and sand, I have walked forests so stiflingly hot and moist it felt like being underwater, and now, I am here in the land of tall trees and taller mountains.”

I said, surprised by my own frankness.

“That sounds amazing.” He took the food I offered readily enough, and I told him about the people I’ve left behind to be stranded at the other end of the world.

“This is good, is that a recipe of your homeland?” He asked, looking down on the piece of meat I had seasoned with herbs I had grown myself in our small backyard.

“It actually is. I’m glad you like it. I had not planned to have company, otherwise I’d have brought something more palatable to the local tongue.” I apologised quickly.

“No, I like it. You should definitely trade some recipes with Dori…and Bombur…oh, and if any of your delicious herbs are medicinal, Óin.” He laughed again when he saw my dumbfounded expression.

“I make a good honeycake, if I can interest you in that? Maybe…” He fell back into silence.

…

A look at the sky told me that it was too late to go down in the inky darkness.

“We’ll have to stay here for the night.” I mumbled, slightly uncomfortable at the idea of spending the night with a dwarrow who had not lost a single word about a wife.

“Are you married, Mistress? Will that endanger your wedlock?” He asked shyly.

“No, I am not and I have no name to lose…It’s a long story.” I didn’t feel like blurting out my disgrace, lest it give him strange ideas after all, especially as he would easily have been able to overpower me if he so chose.

“Neither am I. I don’t know about my name…Doesn’t look like I’m going to be married either. There’s not enough dwarrowdams as it is, and I think the royal line has a prerogative there.” There was no resentment in his tone; he seemed to accept this as a fact.

How could someone that sweet not be married, I wondered. He was courteous, he was cute, and he would have made the fortune and happiness of someone.

“Well, in that case, I think we can risk our reputation rather than our necks.” I grinned, rolling out a blanket I kept tied to my pack for emergencies and stretched out next to the fire on the moss.

“Erm, yes…Good night…” He mumbled, fidgeting around with his different layers of clothing. Apparently, he was deciding which one he needed least on his body to use it as a bedroll or blanket.

I eyed the proceedings with interest and a good deal of amusement.

“I can offer you my cloak to lie upon…the ground will grow very cold and wet soon.” He said in a low voice, not sure if I had already fallen asleep or not.

“Alright, I can offer you a spot under the blanket then?” I extended my own graciousness.

“With you?” No, with the red bird, I thought, rolling my eyes internally.

“Yes, Ori the scribe, with me. I will not eat you, as you have witnessed, I have had dinner.” Not that he did not look good enough to devour, standing there with his cloak in his hands and his face all crunched up in embarrassment.

“Hmmm…I guess.” He muttered doubtfully, spreading out the cloak and sitting down on it carefully. Impatiently, I scooted over and spread my lousy blanket over the both of us with a flourish.

“Sleep!” I commanded as I turned around only to find him staring wide-eyed at the spot where the back of my head had been only a second ago. Now that he was presented with my face, only inches away from his, his eyes grew even rounder and bigger in wordless distress.

“Friend…Have you never lain with a woman? And I literally mean, lying next to one?” I laughed for there had been friends and cousins aplenty in my own life and the feeling of having another body so close to mine was not a new experience for me.

“Well, I fell down on the battlefield once, next to a foe…I’m pretty sure that was a Lady-Orc. She was dead. There was a…” He gestured, indicating a spear or a lance sticking out of his chest and brushing against my own with the back of his hand. Dear reader, he flinched back as if I was a tiny Durin’s bane wreathed in flames.

“A Lady-Orc, indeed…” I mused; no doubt, he could hear the smile I hid in my voice for his face crunched up in embarrassment.

“I am sorry.” He sighed, rolling his eyes, and thinking – there was not a shadow of a doubt about that much – of his brothers who would have mocked him mercilessly for his stammering.

“There’s no need to be sorry” I tried to reassure him, but I admit now that there were things that I did not tell him right away then. We had only just met, and he was blessedly unaware of my shameful past.

How could I have made him understand – without hurting his feelings – how much I enjoyed that air of purity about him that I had squandered myself on an undeserving fiend? As a daughter amongst others, I had been used to dwarrows coming to court or to seduce, their eyes ablaze with greed and their hands wandering.

He would not have comprehended how much the absence of that voracious hunger that had plagued my youth and had ended up destroying my promising future meant to me.

“Sleep.” I repeated, unable to put into words how miraculous and precious the things he seemed to be most ashamed of were to me.

“Good night, Mistress.” He breathed with a soft smile that was nowhere near the wolfish baring of fangs I was used to and so, it was easy to return it.

You who may or may not have stumbled upon this ludicrous account of the most important story in an otherwise unimportant life, you shall hear another confession I did not make at the time.

I was fiercely aware that – had I but leant forward a little – I might have pressed my lips upon his; I was young still at that time and, despite what had happened, parts of me, that should have withered and died in the aftermath of my botched engagement, were much alive.

He smelled like our dinner and warmth, and the gentle reticence of the curve of his smile was more inviting than any flashing grin I had ever seen before.

Yes, in that very moment, on this very first evening, I had already been conscious of the shrewd attraction this self-effacing dwarrow held for me…and it scared me half to death.

…

Part 3