#but tbh i see it as minor in comparison to the actual story

[thatpersonwhosaidtheywouldnt]

Haven't read the new action back issue for Kon yet cause I can't find it anywhere so I gotta go buy it but... I promise y'all good modern comics from DC are out there rn. The main action stories, the Powergirl #1 today, The Flash #1 today. Being seeing a lot of comments about ignoring modern comics or how the writers are all terrible and I get it, clearly Kon got the short end of the stick but there really is some good stuff and good writers that deserve support.

[supatroopa]

I need to like get into actually watching TV shows this is brutal

[hoelandah]

Since The Boys wanna make current political comparisons let's see how it stacks up:

Homelander

-raised in a lab, lied to, and dehumanized from birth to be obedient

-rants about elites who run his life (Vought, Stan Edgar, et al)

-fucked a Nazi because he's a love starved, emotionally fucked, mess of a man

-victim of capitalism

-one pretty good son

Trump

-raised in an affluent home where he was more or less seen as a person and given agency

-is the elite

-is a Nazi

-the inevitable result of late stage capitalism

-at least two fail sons

Things they have in common

-bad hair post season one

-aging rapidly

-women and minorities should steer clear (and some men, too, tbh)

(Disclaimer: this is not a Homelander endorsement just an examination of how clumsy and surface level the comparison is.)

More in depth thoughts under cut.

The Boys frustrates me so fucking bad because the writers are fumbling some potentially good political commentary by trying to be "current" and "sticking it to the conservatives." Let it be known that I myself am not conservative, not even close, but media that ham fists to make conservatives mad is just as inept as rightwing media "sticking it to the libs."

It also just...never works. They say never make your work political. This is right yet wrong. Never make you work "CURRENTLY political."

Instead, be "timeless" like Star Trek or Twilight Zone, Tolkien, Orwell, Butler, Atwood and so many more. These authors and stories give political messages that can be transposed and applied to many different places and times. They're nearly universal despite being completely fictionalized events and stories. Being "current" dates your work, it renders you so deeply partial to your point that you can't present your case objectively.

Basically, you are currently living in the mire of bullshit. You're living through actual historical events and thus you don't have a good bird's eye view of the situation. People who lived through World War II couldn't tell you the ins and outs right after it. You cannot give a full picture of the current political stage either.

And finally, the work will only reinforce those who agree (the common lib who actually isn't all that politically literate) and the people you're criticizing will just cognitive dissonance their way through or dismiss it as "woke." You, in the end, add nothing useful to the dialogue.

[coleopterabyte]

INSECTOID INSPECTION #1 | Stingmon

Stingmon is a second generation Digimon-- and a prominent character in Digimon Adventure 2, though it should be noted that due to the nature of Digimon, multiple exist.

I've decided that Stingmon is the optimal character to start this series with, as he (the gen 2 anime iteration) is the first insectoid character I've ever had an infatuation with. My takes may not be particularly hot, but I wanted to start on a positive note. Intro | 2

Accuracy: Stingmon is extremely wasp-coded, though obviously he's lacking as far as having six limbs and an abdomen goes. I like his claw toes, as having two is rather on point for bugs. He gets a point for having two sets of wings, but loses it due to completely lacking a mouth. His antennae are stylish, and bent, but they're in the wrong direction and are shaped like bunny ears. His predecessor, Wormmon, is shaped like a caterpillar, but tbh I'll give that I appreciate that the designers acknowledged that hymenopterans have a larval stage.

There's obvious elements that lend you to telling that this is supposed to be a wasp, but by no means is it trying to be accurate. 2.5/5

Aesthetic:

Hooh boy. *Hoo boy*. Listen. Hear me out. I love biomechanical aesthetics and this guy might be part of the reason why. I love his chunky exoskeleton, his skinny little waist, and all the detail that goes to show how flexible he is around the joints and muscles. Especially in comparison to other digimon designs, his is simple and elegant without necessarily being cute or ugly.

Iconic, love this guy, 5/5.

Amusement: So, as far as I know, there are two canonical instances of a Stingmon holding a character role: Once as a companion to the antagonist of Digimon Adventure 2, and once as a very minor "forest guardian" role during Digimon Fusion. In both instances, Stingmon is capable and generally cool-headed, but with a sweet side that comes out in the presence of friends and loved ones. I should also note that it was originally very impactful to see wormmon, weak even for a child digimon, evolve into a great warrior. Digimon's writing has always been about the human's emotional arcs as opposed to their titular monsters, so he stands out as undergoing any sort of (not-literal) evolution.

I'm kind of a sap for his tropes, but his story isn't very complex. 3.5/5.

Attunement: Insect digimon are a natural part of the digital world-- though in the series' attempt to create an elemental system, they're sometimes grouped with plant digimon. I find that kind of cute, considering how closely plants and insects have evolved together in real life. That said, I don't think there's any particular culture to being an insect/plant digimon? Just that Stingmon had a Lilamon partner during Fusion.

Going to rate this as average as possible because while it's not terribly interesting, it adds a little flavor. 2.5/5

Actuality: 3.375/5

[catboybiologist]

WAITTT I missed that you gave yourself a new name! Ohmygosh I'm so proud of you Sierra!

Reading your latest update was also incredibly fascinating. As a lady on HRT herself (Almost 6 months in now!), the comparison is very interesting.

Also my social transitioning has been very different from yours. I'm fortunate that I both have a very supportive family back home in California, and happen to work at possibly one of the most accepting & queer friendly places in Mississippi (where I go to school 💀), so my social transition was far more sudden than yours. I started going by my new name & publicly being female right when I started on HRT, which was during this summer. Part of it was simply being in a position where I could safely transition socially, but the biggest reason is that this is my last year of undergrad, and I want my diploma to have the right name on it! I might have to do some finagling to actually do that, but it's probably gonna happen, and that makes me so happy!

I'm so glad you've found a name for yourself, and even if it doesn't work out for you, I'm happy you're comfortable trying!

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

Thank you <3 Okay but you're in Mississippi? Holy hell. I would be terrified tbh, you're braver than I am. Even with supportive family, it can be terrifying, and the effort to socially transition overnight is intense. Tbh, the barrier of ultimately socially transitioning is probably larger in my head than it is in practice. I'm open about it to the queer graduate student community at my university (where I have a minor leadership role, so I have to represent in some capacity lol). On top of that, my "crossdressing" at parties and events is like.... the world's worst kept secret to my labmates and the rest of my department, especially since there's overlap between them and the queer community.

My family is an entirely different, complicated story. I have no doubt they'll come around in the end, but I know it'll be, at the very least, a strange time. I'm partly waiting until I'm 26 to come out to them, which as many know, is a common cutoff date for being on your parent's health insurance in the states. That'll be my last financial tie to them- I don't think it'll be the problem, but I'm thinking about it just in case.

Part of it is personal comfort too. I look in the mirror and don't see a woman. I see someone on their way to becoming a woman. For my own sake, I want to give it time. My plan to have a clean break over the summer also lets me do things like update paperwork and my wardrobe, which will make things much, much easier.

So for now, I present male. I made my plan for coming out, though, and that's very comforting.

[kingofscoops]

Hi sweetie! For the for the 🎬 ask box game:

2 7 8 10 11 19 30 31 34 38 39 42

hii, this got long quick so i'm hiding under the cut hehe.

2. What movie do you wish you could unwatch?

Yes, there's probably more than one but the one that comes to mind the most is The Haunting of Redding Hospital, i like my horror movies and i thought this was gonna be an interesting one, but it was just so ridiculously boring i was annoyed at myself for buying it. (also i just looked at the reviews for it online and some people gave it 5 stars and i'm just thinking we're we even watching the same movie?! because it was garbage, pure utter predictable garbage)

7. Name a movie you’re emotionally attached to?

You've probably heard me talk about it several times by now, but it's The Goonies, was introduced to it by my late aunt when I was a kid and i've just loved it ever since.

8. What’s your comfort film?

Howl's Moving Castle, actually you know what make that just studio ghibli in general.

10. Most recent movie you saw in theaters?

Errrrrm... it's been a hot minute, i think it was Avengers Endgame, i keep meaning to go see more but i never remember what's on or coming out lol

11. A genre you just can’t stand.

i'd say probably romance, that's not me saying i've never watched anything from genre, there's probably movies in that genre i've watched and do enjoy, but romance can't be the sole genre for me it's gotta be woven in with something else or be like a minor side note in said movie. that and i just don't understand the appeal of some of them?

19. Name a movie so bad it’s good.

ThanksKilling, yeah from the outset it's a shitty produced thanksgiving themed horror, but if you're not taking the shitty production seriously then it's fucking hilarious, just don't watch the sequal ThanksKilling 3, it's kinda boring in comparison and i almost fell asleep watching it, no actually thinking about it i think i did genuinely half fall asleep while watching it lol - for reference i watched both of these as a lets watch with achievement hunter so it probably seemed funnier at the time lol.

30. Are you looking forward to any upcoming releases?

Well, since i finally watched Beetlejuice for the first time this this year, i'm currently looking forward to Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and it's pretty much the only thing i know currently soon releasing that i would actually consider watching.

31. Do you remember the first movie you saw in theaters?

I can't remember if it was the first first movie i ever saw in theaters but the earliest i can remember is A Bug's Life.

34. Which film is the most visually beautiful?

There's loads but it's hard to narrow down, so i am again just gonna answer, majority of the studio ghibli movies lol

38. In your opinion what is the most overrated movie?

There's not many i would considered overrated tbh? but there is something i don't plan on watching but i kept seeing ads for that i would maybe consider overrated? so yeah i kept seeing ads for This Ends With Us on constant repeat over on YT a while back, and while i understand the reason why the story has and is being told, both in movie and book form, i don't understand why anyone would want to go see a movie masking itself as a romantic movie when it's main plot point is about a women in an abusive relationship?

39. In your opinion what is the most underrated movie?

I haven't seen it in forever but I'm gonna go with Creep, and no not the 2014 movie of the same name people are probably thinking of that's about a videographer recording the wishes of a dying man? (idk i haven't watched it but may do in the future). No i'm talking about the 2004 movie called Creep, i'll try not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it and may wish to watch but it revolves around a women getting trapped in the London Underground after missing her train home but she soon discovers she's not alone yada yada yada. I'll say it's underrated because, to me at least, it literally gets overshadowed by the movie of the same name and i never see this version ever get talked about, and it got me thinking of another horror/comedy called Severance (again not to be confused by the tv show of the same name) which i also haven't seen in forever. Put basically i think the British horror genre in general might be the one that's being made underrated lol.

42. Show me a pic of your favorite movie poster.

I don't have any movie posters up anymore unfortunately, but then i also have no space to put them, i do have an avengers infinity war/endgame canvas my parents got me for xmas one year, i know they knew i liked marvel but i'm not entirely sure the thought that process through as my rooms walls are more or less all covered by shelves or furniture of some sort, i guess it's the thought that counted huh? but anyway, here's a pic of fluff investigating the giant thing that i can't actually have in my room due to space lol

(it's currently in the corner of my parents room lol)

🍿🎬 Send me a movie ask 🎬🍿

[excaliburofficial]

Thoughts on the anime being better than the manga?

maybe this is a hot take but I dont really think one is better than the other tbh.

The anime overall has less character development (we get like none of Soul's backstory, Black*Star's arc feels really short in comparison to me, and Kid gets literally none of his arc at all) and the whole thing ending with Maka punching Asura in the face is a major L. The anime also doesn't resolve anything with the witches and it ends with the witches still just being like... evil. the status quo is still being completely upheld by the end of it. Like yeah they defeat the Kishin, but other than that everything in the world remains unchanged with no major impact other than everyone was just a little more crazy for a little bit.

I have a lot of things to say also about a couple of specific things that happen in the Soul Eater anime that don't in the manga beyond just that, but I think all of that is for a separate time because it's... a lot and ties more in with the kind of story I wish Soul Eater- anime and manga both- could have been instead of actually like comparing the anime and the manga and I'll get way out of hand if I go on about it lol

But there's things that I like in the anime better than the manga. Tbh I think the anime handled Crona way better and I actually really like what they had for them in the anime! I also really like Stein's whole thing in the anime (I don't know if I like it better than the manga though because it's been a while since I've read the manga and I don't remember Stein's arc in it that well). I also think overall, with all things considered, the anime does a pretty good job of working with what it had to wrap things up neatly even if I have issues with it, and if it didn't end with Maka just punching Asura in the face I think it would be more satisfying overall even if I think it could be better.

The manga has some really cool stuff in it, and I like the developments that we get. I really like Black*Star's arc in the manga, we get to see more things with Kim and Ox and Kilik and that whole gang which I really enjoy, and Kid's arc is like my favorite thing in the manga. I also like that we get to see that Asura is also Lord Death's son, I think it adds a lot of stakes. and I especially also like the treaty with the witches, and also Lord Death's uh... death. it really changes the story from being about upholding the status quo to being one where the world changes because of this conflict in major ways and leaves the world open ended to a lot of change and progression instead of just going back to a normal where an entire group of people (witches) are being hunted.

But with that being said, the more I think about it the more the manga leaves me just... wanting. Like I want it to be better. Liz, Patty, and Tsubaki don't get half the development I think they should have, and I think Crona's arc in the manga is garbage. I really would have preferred a more empowering arc of Crona doing the hard work of overcoming their trauma with Medusa and righting all of the wrongs of not just themself but their own mom in a way more similar to the anime and I think the story would have been stronger for it.

I also hate that the manga ends with a boob joke and it irritates me the more I think about it. Like, yeah, Soul Eater was always a shounen with fan service, but for that to be the note that it decides to end on just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, Hey! We know we dialed down the horniness a lot in this story, so here's a really stupid bit about boobs to make up for it! Ugh it's exhausting

Very minor note also but the progression of the art style in Soul Eater like... idk if it disappoints me necessarily but I feel like it lost a lot of its edge. I still enjoy a lot of the art in the later chapters (its nothing like the art on the perfect editions don't even get me started on that) but in general it feels to me like Ohkubo's art went in a much more marketable direction and took a lot less risks in terms of style. But that's really here nor there and I'm not sure why I brought it up because it's not really a point of comparison for the anime because obviously any anime is going to have more consistent art direction than a manga but I brought it up so here's a whole paragraph about it i guess

TLDR: I think both have their merits and there's things that I like better in both that I wish the other did also Ohkubo should give me the rights to Soul Eater so I can remake it

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Hihihi!!!! I know this is a pretty random ask and I’m too shy to take it off of anon T^T I love the way you put your thoughts together!!!!!! All of your posts are super well done!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t wanna answer this feel free not to- but I was just curious, do you think any of the supporting cast from RE4R like The Merchant, Luis or Ashley left any lasting impact on Ada going forward with her life??? Like do you recon she’d remember them?????? :00 ((Also I’d feel guilty if I didn’t mention this also, but ik you’re not the biggest fan of Luis/I personally VERY MUCH SO disagree with your opinions on him (although I’m biased because my autism hyperfixated on him BDNEHENDJ) so again if you don’t wanna answer this ask you don’t have to!!!!! Sorry if this is very rambly I’m not good at putting my thoughts together concisely BDBEWNEH))

i added yours together so i didn't have to separate them sjkbfdskjfs

no worries on staying on anon! i know it's easier this way for people. and tysm!!!! <3

i feel like the merchant is always just like this- not real person that's written in for game mechanics lol. it's hard to realistically imagine it being real even though i know it's "real." it's not the same like nurse joy and officer jenny in pokemon where it like SURE MAKES SENSE but like the merchant following leon and ada around on the island is fucking hilarious to me.

i do think that luis had a bit of an impact on her, but she was also using him- so it would make sense if it was minimal in how she felt in his death. one of the minor changes i see people complaining about ada is her frailty, it is a change that i've seen talked about more and more in re4r and it furthers my theory that her apathy and less "overpowered" nature is a way to humanize her. which i don't particularly like in some aspects.

i've always liked ada to be emotionally resilient and to see her be more emotional regarding leon (which is actually a positive to show that her affection for him is more reciprocal), is a bit jarring and actually makes it seem like they're trying way too hard to get the audience to sympathize with her (which is a good thing, but it seems similar in the way that men write women = women bad, women weak, women sad.) you can show ada having mixed affections for leon without reducing her to a lovesick girl, which she isn't.

i wouldn't say i hate luis lol sjkfbsjk i really enjoyed the changes that they made initially upon first experiencing re4r. but the more time that i spent analysing the writing, the more i felt as though his writing were all plot devices and as a means to move the story along. (this isn't bad at all!) tbh, it makes sense, luis is a secondary character, a NPC and isn't meant to showcase all of his emotions and reasonings and motivations- but that's also a detriment (for me) because i don't find his motivations convincing or aligning well with his writing.

i do stand by my original thoughts that all the additions of luis' character writing was at the detriment to ada's writing. several scenes that had ada suddenly didn't. and the balancing wasn't enough tbh for how ashley and luis were both fleshed out. we got a modicum of additional inner thoughts with her monologue, but they aren't necessary new thoughts. these were assumed thoughts that we always had and weren't groundbreaking or enhanced her backstory (THAT MUCH) in comparison to how much was added for ashley and luis additionally, i think that ada might have been a bit more sympathetic towards ashley than in og re4 , which i guess is nice

i think that every character can have faults and can be poorly written- that doesn't mean that you can't like them!!

i love tons of poorly written characters, or even characters that are barely written. i love annoying characters, stupid characters, it all depends on how they're written!

i completely understand being hyper fixated by something- i also do!

i was def more just a leon girlie before i switched to ada lmao

ah sorry this is also rambly skbfkjsdfsj it's late when i wrote this

[staghunters]

WTKAMW Bonus Content lol

The Fic is Done! I had an amazing time writing it and reading whatever y'all had to say about it haha. But, there is some more! Between outlining and the actual writing (sometimes even beyond that) the story went through some changes before it came to its final form. The first outline I had was MUCH different than what we ended up with, and inbetween there were scenes that got added/cut at the last moment.

So I guess this is a director's commentary/deleted content kind of post! A little look behind the curtain, for those that would like to. I got it all sorted by chapter in case you want to see about something specific. Enjoy!

General

A lot of things changed between the first and second outline. The second one was more structured to give me an idea of how many chapters this was going to be, plus it made it easier to give each chapter some meat. For comparison, here's all I had planned on the first one.

Pretty bare bones! I cut the baby-thing eating because it grossed me out too much tbh. Other than that, things were cut/changed because they simply didn't make a lot of sense. When I plan stuff out I like to think about the concequences that every act can have. For example, if sleepwalking Tai let Jackie in the attic, what does that mean for the connection Sleeper!Tai has with Vampire!Jackie? It's the reason that Sleeper!Tai is absent from the fic in general, because having her interact with Jackie raised too many questions that were never meant to be part of this story.

Other things changed to improve on tension/character/plot. Misty at first finds out on her own, but while full on excluding her would maybe be something that could happen, involving her from pretty early on made for more exciting things.

The second outline has more on that, so that'll be posted chapter by chapter. I divided it in major and minor events that I wanted to include in each section.

Chapter 1

Not much to say here! Chapter 1 was one that I could afford myself to work on for longer, so it got to where I wanted it to be much easier. It's a setup chapter, and how it happened was always going to be the same: Jackie is dead, Shauna improvises on her make-up routine, has a miscarriage after, Jackie comes to the attic.

The miscarriage is a bit tricky because the real reason I had it happen was because I just needed to have the baby out of the plot. Placing it after the accidental blood ritual leaves the room open for interpreting it as an extra thing the wilderness demanded in order for Jackie to come back (equal exchange and stuff). This is what Lottie is referring to when she warns Shauna here and in chapter 2. Still, like the show, I wanted to keep it nebulous what exactly is done by the Wilderness, and what simply happened.

Chapter 2

Now what isn't on here is that the karaoke scene in the woods wasn't meant to be part of the search at first, this got added in later and originally the scene cut from when Tai tells Shauna the math example. This didn't do much for the tension of this chapter and would've lumped it all at the beginning and end instead. Didn't like that!

Plus, it gave me an excuse to start playing around with the rest of the team. Van and Tai hadn't gotten their time to shine yet, and Natalie needed a good introduction to the plot.

Personally I really see Nat as someone who will keep her head high in a storm, and isn't afraid of going against the grain if she thinks what she needs to do will ultimately lead to the better outcome. She is sympathetic towards Shauna, but she will not put her own or the others' lives at risk.

Putting in a scene with Nat in her hunter element while Jackie walks around like any predator they might encounter in the woods therefore sounded like something that could have Something in there. Post-crash Jackienat is full of slight antagonism, but not enough to have them outright hate each other. Is it easier for Nat to shoot at Jackie? Marginally so. Deep down Nat doesn't want to do it at all, but in this situation it was a necessity.

Plus, a feral Jackie! I love stripping her from the put together humanity and then throwing her in a blender hahaha. This was still at the stage where she's not really there yet, and playing around with that from Shauna's pov was a lot of fun. This Jackie is as trustworthy as a fluffy grizzly bear, and Shauna is stuck on that "if dangerous why cuddly?" mentality.

Javi was always gonna die here. Like I said in the notes, his position here in canon was too convenient not to make use of. That it is Javi would push Nat even further into the corner of Hunter instead of Teammate, plus it planted the seed for what would eventually become the end of chapter 12.

Big owl was a last minute excuse/cliffhanger!

Chapter 3

SO, the scene where they find Jackie again went through a number of changes. The first idea was Shauna walking out in the woods on her own, spotting her, and being interupted by Tai coming to find her as Jackie disappears again. From there came Nat's hijack of her expedition.

First it was going to be just Shauna and Nat out there. They would separate, and Shauna would stumble upon Jackie sleeping in the snow. In the end I combined the first idea with the second, and added a Misty for some extra dynamic. Shauna walking off and finding Jackie on her own was a visual that I simply couldn't cut off. Additionally, it made it more interesting for me to have Jackie exhibit some agency here. Why do they stumble upon each other? Maybe it was pure luck, or Nat was right in Shauna being a lure, and Jackie does not have her new state of being figured out enough to know why she feels like going in a certain direction.

Here's that moment but from the first scenario where Shauna goes out alone with Taissa coming after her.

It would have led to Taissa taking on a more protective position, maybe even suggesting that Shauna is seeing things, but ultimately this didn't further the plot. Switching this out for Nat, Shauna, and Misty going out on a search was bound to have more fireworks. Nat's reaction to Jackie was harsh - especially given that Jackie is getting back to her old self at this point - but it was something that would raise the stakes.

Having the cabin burn down was a big leap for me lol. I didn't know if it would land right, but it was the only way that I could realistically get them rescued earlier. This story was always going to play out mostly in Wiskayok. Don't get me wrong, I love the wilderness, but the most intriguing about Vampire!Jackie to me was it being a complete flip on her position in canon: a symbol of civilization struggles in the wilderness vs a symbol of the wilderness struggles in civilization. Though Jackie isn't the character we see the most of internally in the fic, I could have her try to grapple with what she is now from a place that still wants to cling to how she was before.

Chapter 4

Notable changes: dad doesn't make an appearance, and the trek home was extended to more than a month. That last part was because I changed where the plane crashed on my own map. It used to be in Ontario, but that started to feel way too close to home/society. The north of Alberta became a better fit.

Every day was suppossed to highlight a certain relationship/dynamic of the people in Shauna's life. A bit more slice-of-life while we wait for our bestie to come back.

Jeff inserts himself in the story here. I wanted to balance him out in being genuinely saddened and sympathetic, while also a dumb teenage boy. This is one of the bigger changes from the very first outline, where the thought was to kill off Jeff in a premediated manner. But that didn't feel right. The way it is here now better sets up why he shows up at the Shipman house in chapter 7, and makes his demise a very unfortunate accident.

Jackie calls! I briefly toyed with the idea of Shauna picking up and Jackie simply not saying anything. It would feel more intimate, but with someone else picking up, there was the added mystery and I could let Shauna have the sudden realization of having missed something important.

The Birthday Tape is available here! The rules I set for myself were that the songs had to predate 1996 (for obvious reasons), and resemble both Shauna's and Nat's tastes in music (or what Nat would think Shauna would like). I've played this thing a lot while doing some writing haha.

Chapter 5

The fight is a part I struggled with because while there is reference material of it at its worst, by this point Jackie and Shauna have already underwent some change since the moment that door shut. Shauna, more in line with canon, wants nothing more than having Jackie back in her life. Jackie, hurt and confused, wants to lash out but has that clashing with own longing for things to go back to the way they were. This was also the first chapter where Jackie really had to be Jackie, and I felt anxious about not getting her right as a person.

The fun stuff, however, was really putting down that while Jackie is back and totally chill, there are things that are off. As you can see, Shauna was supossed to be more directly present to take note of that, but I changed it because it made more sense to let them take some distance from each other. Plus, this is the start of "Jackie is repressing things and that sure won't have consequences later". She is aware of what has changed with her and the danger it brings, and likes to keep that as far from Shauna as she can.

It turned into a game of what they both know and are willing to share, as well as Shauna misinterpreting certain things with Jackie because we are limited to her pov. F.e. Jackie's weird little moment at the washing machine was her first brush with how good Shauna smells now (in the vampy way). It is a pretty common headcanon that Jackie has/had issues with food, which is how Shauna interprets it when breakfast goes the way it does.

Ultimately, a chapter to put down the groundworks for Jackie and her cooky vampire mannerisms hahaha.

Chapter 6

Big changes here!

Tai's departure in chapter 4 with her family was suppossed to last much longer. This changed because I wanted to add in the school environment where the Yellowjackets are dealing with coming back to their old lifes and have to deal with the reactions coming from it. Given that Tai has a pretty important role as the other one to first see Jackie back amongst the (un)living, I wanted to do some more with her screen time. Hence, Shauna tells about Jackie staying at her place.

Jeff coming around again was cut because I genuinely didn't know what to have him do/say that would be different from the first time. The whole reason to have this at all was to poke at that past with Jackie and Shauna, but I figured it would do much with the next chapter in mind.

This turned more into them growing closer together again. Stealing booze from the nightstore was fun to write jkasdhf. When they break into Jackie's room, I wasn't sure how much I wanted Mr Taylor to be suspicious. In the end, I'm happy with how minimal it is. I do think the Taylors grieve in their own (fucked up) way, and that Jackie's presence linger everywhere is kinda what I wanted to do with him just saying her name like she is there (not knowing that she actually is, of course).

Other than that, some tipsy thoughts about feelings lol.

Chapter 7

THE CHAPTER THE CHAPTER

I think I had the part where Jackie kills Jeff written out since chapter 3, though I changed the location a couple of times. Please do envision me on the train smiling like an idiot while I'm thinking about all the ways I could kill this boy.

There was a concept of Jackie already going bad and Shauna noticing. Here she locked the door to her room and Jeff for some reason would go there and be jumped immediately. I cut this out in favor of what is in the fic now: a very slow build that has you experiencing this loss of control with Jackie. Though she sort of knows what is coming, this was still the first time that Jackie is breaking down in this way. Hence, there is some balance with taking precautions but also Not Knowing What Is Going On.

Dream sequences my beloved <3 There's a cameo of Laura Lee in here that would become a reminder for what I wanted to do with her later. Ghost realm Laura Lee functions in a similar way here as she does in canon, and I just wanted her to still be part of all this. Overall, the first dream sequence is very much inspired by what Lottie sees in Old Wounds. The second one deteriorates into something nightmarish much quicker. This is a highlighter for past trauma in the wilderness, and fears of the future. The ending of this one with a repeat of Jackie's pounce on Shauna and Nat shooting at her, but with changes from what happened in reality, was the start of it all coming together and imploding in chapter 12.

I was also in the middle of my memory-themed thesis write at this point, so that was very inspiring to incorporate. Jackie's recovered diary came in as a handy tool to really show the difference of her mental state at the start and near the end of the chapter. This was definitely my favorite chapter to write, in that regard.

Obviously the last point of Shauna calling for help was pushed forward to the next chapter. Switching povs at the end felt stupid after all this, so I had it end on Jackie leaving.

Chapter 8

To quickly pick up the Shauna calling point from the previous chapter: Nat did get switched out for Lottie. At this point, Lottie has much more of a bond with Shauna than Nat, especially in regards to their stance on Jackie. Lottie, being the pacifist that she is, still takes Nat along, of course.

Other than that, Shauna was going to have a private conversation with Tai on her feelings for Jackie. What I ended on instead was Shauna's confession in the car with Van and Tai, a little moment with Van at the bridge, and Taissa's suggestion at picking this topic up later. Partially because this spread it out and got more perspectives on it, but also because I didn't feel like inserting a long and deep talk on sexuality in the same chapter as them dumping a body lol.

Bobby's attack is something I pulled from chapter 10 on the outline, but I'll explain that more in detail later.

Chapter 9

SO YEAH BIG CHANGES HERE. From this point onward, the outline changes dramatically from the final product on some points. At a base level, it is the same, but the changes made do change certain moods significantly.

Shauna works through her own things in here, but the big cloud hanging overhead is that Bobby got jumped and everyone suspects Jackie. Jackie is still absent, but I had her move to Taissa instead of Shauna for reasons that made more sense for her character at this point. Also I like Jackie and Tai being forced to work together. I have a lot of thoughts about what their dynamic could've been had Jackie lived in canon.

So, while offscreen, Jackie has had some toned-down version of the "feelings about Shauna" talk with Taissa. The ultimatum was to get Shauna under some stress here as well and badabing-badaboom, there we have the culmination of it all asdjkhfks. A bit short and sweet, I'm still too embarrassed at times to write actual smut.

As previously mentioned, the Bobby thing got pulled forwards so that it could be used here. Misty has been cooking stuff up and this is a good enough reason to get the gang back together.

Chapter 10

Bobby attack and meeting in the same chapter would've been A Lot to cover in one go. That being said, revealing that while we already know that Jackie couldn't have done it felt a bit meh to me.

So I'm really glad for pulling Bobby forward and changing when Jackie and Shauna reunite! The comments sakdfhksjadjf. Sitting on the info while everyone was shaking their heads at Jackie was incredibly fun.

The culprit puzzle was then ofc turned obsolete and instead became a meeting to think about how to take care of this Jeff. Sleepover shenanigans happen, and I was able to do more with actual character interactions and flesh those out more. Jackie's annoyance with Misty's prying and Nat's conflict resulting from it took some center stage, but would also open the way for better communications (thank you Lottie Matthews!). Them having a smoke out back was the first scene I wrote for this chapter.

Chapter 11

Basically all of this was pushed into chapter 12. I felt like some time needed to be put between the planning stage and the action, so chapter 11 became an intermission with a lot of talking out. Talks about the past and future sort of happened but not as Intense as I had the initial idea for.

Chapter 12

I guess taking that Travis point from the previous part to here, Travis isn't as active in the search as he initially was in the outline. It didn't make sense to me to suddenly have an outsider involved and possibly in the know on everything. Plus, him barging in and finding the scene that he does made for an all the more chaotic finale to this chapter.

I didn't have much action planned out ahead, as you might've noticed, but one thing I really really wanted to be happening was the fatal shot going through Jackie and into Shauna. Vibes, ya know?

Even in a very very early draft version (in which Misty snitches on Jackie to Travis, he chases them out of Shauna's house and gets her in the back while Jackie was behind her). It was always going to go that way, because I couldn't really come up with a way to make the rest of it work otherwise

Chapter 13

Some changes!

Travis is out of the picture for the most part. I didn't want him to go to jail for the thing, which is why I put in that he's moving away with his mom.

I had the "final line" written down and then didn't use it haha. I thought them going back to Seattle, as trivial as it may be, would be more fitting than something general.

The epilogue was first just them meeting up at Vantai manor lol. I liked it at first, but it felt like a disservice to the rest of the cast. It turned into a much longer epilogue that checks in with a pov from each side character that we came across in a scene with Shauna, Jackie, or both of them together. A lot of this was written out ahead of starting with 13 proper, BUT I did change the final one with Bridget and added in the Van's movie store on the day of posting haha.

The og Bridget ending can be read below. I like some lines I had in it, in particular Britt and Shauna's private little moment at the door, but ultimately it didn't make sense to jump from a to b where Britt is just suddenly aware of Jackie's existence and the scene doesn't even get mentioned. With Shauna I could accept it because that's her daughter and she'd already survived one suppossed death lol, but I felt that Jackie's reintroduction would need some sort of planning.

Also, it comes full circle with Jackie's return at the start of the fic.

Anyway, here is the silly fluffy fix-it ending that was cut

“So then you tap here, and it calls me directly. Of course, we both need to have service, but I don’t think that should be much of an issue. Otherwise, I’ll text you beforehand. But if you can’t reach me at some point, you can scroll a little down to here and there’s Jackie.”

Bridget tries to keep up with Shauna’s hand moving over the tiny screen, but it all goes a little too fast for her to really take in the information. “Why isn’t there one with regular buttons?”

Shauna looks up through her eyelashes. “They don’t really make those anymore. But I agree, it’s stupid.” Her attention goes right back to the phone between them. “You only have to use the calling and texting bits of it, though. I doubt you’d even wanna throw yourself into the rest,” she laughs. Bridget doesn’t mind not understanding anything that is being explained to her. She’s already happy enough to have her daughter her like any other mother might. Even if it’s only for a short time. “With this, I can call you any time?” Shauna purses her lips in thought. “Yeah, in theory. I’m not sure if I can pick up immediately every time. But texting should be fine. I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can.” “Well, I better not be hearing too many excuses.” “Oh my god, mama…” “Just kidding, dear. This is already much better than having to wait for you.” “I know.” Shauna’s hand reaches across the table to lie it on her mother’s. It’s moments like these that Bridget cherishes with each visit. As if on cue, the other sunshine comes in. “Got everything set up, Britt?” Jackie asks as she props her chin on top of Shauna’s head. “Ooh, I don’t know. But it will come with some practice, I’m sure. Will you look out for this one to answer me when I call?” Jackie salutes as Shauna sighs dramatically. “Aye-aye, captain.” She then eyes the phone with its stock-image background. “Shaunaaaa” Jackie drags out as she drums her hands on Shauna’s head. “We should make a lock screen!” Shauna leans her head back to shrug Jackie off. “What do you mean, make her a lock screen?” “What is a lock screen?” Bridget interjects. “Oh, it’s like a screensaver. You can set whatever picture you want. So I’m proposing,” Jackie drags Shauna up from the chair, “that we make one right now!” “Ah, okay, and how do I do that, exactly?” Bridget follows them to the living room as Jackie sets Shauna down on the couch. “Okay, so…” Jackie trots over to her and starts swiping around on the screen until it pulls up the camera. “Now you got the camera open, and you can take a picture like this.” She taps the circle at the bottom and the screen briefly flashes before showing a still image of a slightly awkward Shauna on the couch. It disappears again after a second. “You can tap it a couple of times and then we’ll pick the best one.” Jackie giddily steps over to sit next to Shauna. It’s a little clumsy. Between Bridget not having her reading glasses on, and Shauna not being a huge fan of being in pictures in general, it is a miracle that they end up with a somewhat-decent-albeit-slightly-blurry picture of Jackie resting her head on Shauna’s shoulder and her leaning back with an arm around Jackie. “There,” Jackie says after another series of taps on the phone screen, “now you can see us whenever you want.”

When the time comes that they will leave, Bridget tries to drag it out as much as she can. She has a whole discussion with Shauna about giving them some cash for transport, while her daughter insists that they always end up fine. After all, they don’t need a train for the sake of saving time. Still, Shauna ends up taking about $200. They never say goodbye from the doorstep, because this is still the same neighborhood that Shauna had lived in for at least the first eighteen years of her life, and who knows who could still recognize her. Her or the ever-bright face of Jackie Taylor. “Do you have everything? Your notebook and the camera?” “Yes, mama.” “Got enough from Misty?” “Yes, mama.” “Is your route planned out?” “Yes, mama.” “Okay…” Bridget fixes the stray hairs hanging on Shauna’s face. Jackie hugs into her side. “We’ll call you tomorrow, Britt. I promise.” “Thank you,” Bridget murmurs while planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Jackie gives her a last squeeze before stepping away to put on her coat and get her bag. She puts a hand to Shauna’s cold cheek, who leans into the touch, holding the hand there with her own. “You’ll always be my little girl. You know that, right?” “Wow, way to rub it in.” “You know what I mean.” “Yeah, I know.” They stand like that for a moment, for as long as Bridget can make it seem in her perception. The spell breaks when Jackie shuffles back in. “You ready?” she asks Shauna, but Bridget tries to think of her own answer. She never really is, not in the many times that this scene has played out. Maybe it is because of that one time, now almost twenty years ago, that made it harder. Maybe it is that her daughter still looks the same as the picture they used to show who had gone missing on that flight. Once they stand at the door to step out into the world again, Bridget hugs Shauna close for just one more time. “I love you so, so much, baby. Never forget that.” “Of course not,” comes the answer as Shauna blinks her own tears away. “I love you too, mama.” It is always colder when she needs to let her go. The draft that comes in through the open door brings in the soft late-summer air in which the crickets chirp. The low evening sun silhouettes Shauna in the open doorway as she has one hand on the handle. Jackie holds the other and plays with her fingers. “Shauna?” Bridget stops her before she can completely close the door. “Come back soon, okay?” She gets a smile. The corners of Shauna’s eyes squint to show how earnest it is, and Jackie confirms it further when she leans into her to show Bridget a reassuring look. “Always.”

[annalyticall]

What did you think of the Collectors in ME2? :> Tbh, part of me wished we got more interesting villains in their place. They didn't seem to add much to the universe & the game didn't do a hefty job of really trying to fit them in, lore wise. They're just kinda there. The Geth were more fascinating in comparison. ME1's lore spoke of animosity between humanity and batarians, maybe ME2 could've built on that.

Actually, I thought the opposite. I didn't really care about the Collectors until it was revealed that they were what was left of the extinct Protheans, engineered to be mindless worker drones for the Reapers. I thought that gave us much more insight into the insidiousness of the Reapers and specifically the true villain of this story, Harbinger. It's true, the Collectors as a collective aren't as memorable as Saren from the last game, but then again, Saren wasn't really the villain either, he was a worker drone for Sovereign.

I think focusing too much on another species as the villains, like the batarians, would have been antithetical to the purpose of this story, which was to bring together a team of all sorts of people who would have never worked together otherwise to fight a common enemy that's fundamentally against all forms of life. I mean, we never get a batarian companion, but we at least see some sympathetic batarian npcs.

Also I consider the Illusive Man a minor villain in this game, and i thought he was a great addition to the world as much as I fought him every step of the way lol. So with all that going on, I didn't think we really needed another villain, the Collectors fulfilled their purpose well enough for this story in my opinion

[nathank77]

9/13/24

4:50 p.m Added to Significantly

I took pepto bc gastrointestinal upset is real right now.

I got a hearing test and Dr appt set up with another place. The other guy doesn't take me seriously and I'm done with it. Hearing a voice doesn't mean that I can't have ear problems, actually it means I have super ear problems. And like my left ear hurts for some reason too. Tbh this may be ill advised but I might lie about what I can hear..... I want hearing aids. I want the most minor adjustment. Why can't I hear my mother when an air conditioner is in the background? Why I can't I hear her from the other room? Why must she scream over the air conditioner? Also I'm going to request an mri if my eye Dr doesn't. I want to know my tiny brain is okay and now they have a comparison...

I mean tbh being I suffer from auditory hallucinations and I have hearing issues and I have Graves disease I think it's scientifically and health relevant to have yearly scans even every 6 months........ I mean not only will it benefit scientific research years after my death, but it'll benefit me.... and I do have neurological symptoms. My ears aren't having Infections for no reason...

What if I do have a vestibular schwannoma? What if it was so tiny that the contrast didn't show it???? I mean..... why aren't we following up on that. My primary could but tbh she's referred me out to places for a reason. Her Job is to say okay I can treat this and this but this requires a specialist and you need a relationship with that specialist. She did that job. But the old ent was not holding up his end of the bargain.

She actually asked me did you cancel with your ent? When I told her I had an appt set up with him next month and I said no. She didn't say you should cause I mean I'm having chronic ear issues! So yea I'm going to make sure yearly to every 6 month brain mris are a thing. Not only do they not expose you to radiation but I know something is wrong...

Also I mean tinnitus could be the reason the voice is still here let's just say cause with low level hearing loss you can hear a voice.... give me fucking hearing aids and let's see if it helps, it's a treatment for tinnitus.

Idk I'm just trying to say like I super duper care about myself and I'm going to get what I want. I'm not going to get it from microphone guy who looked at me like I saw the jolly green giant dancing around the room. Cause that's the problem with being labeled as someone who hallucinates I get discriminated against from many providers.

He suggested jaw issues but didn't want to do an mri or anything. He didn't even want to follow up. Fuck you. I know I have issues.

Anyways I'm getting my mri with contrast. And I'm getting another hearing test and it's going to be a yearly thing. I wouldn't be surprised if there is a schwannoma I mean not only did they think they saw one but they are super duper tiny...... super fucking tiny....and I mean clearly something is wrong.

Also I was complaining about my ear popping, and all that, ear pain and the receptionist gave me the earliest appt and said she would talk to the Dr to see if he thinks it's important enough to move up. They didn't call me back bc I'm the guy who sees the jolly green giant! I don't fucking have visuals and auditory can be really low. Trust me if it was loud like October and November I'd be dead right now cause I couldn't fucking sleep bc it was so loud!

If I had waited a month my ear drum could have ruptured!!!!! It is serious especially with a past of eustachian tube dysfunction!!!

Also I know the voice started as psychosis bc of the stories it came up with, and it's intelligence and everything okay? BUT what if now the remainder is PTSD or what if now it's tinnitus and I hear only happy birthday bc that's what I heard a lot?

My ears are apart of my brain and my auditory nerve is fucked up. It should be followed.

I'm positive my voice is psychosis still bc it doesn't wax and wane..... it doesn't go away ever. I never get silence. The white mulberries keep it low and mostly inaudible.........

But I mean tinnitus isn't out of the picture I mean I heard TICKING.

Also this morning when I was trying to fall back to sleep as the Xanax was mostly out of my system I had a lot of mental pictures with sound effects. Sound effects are a thing nowadays.... they suck so I couldn't fall back to sleep. It was 7 a.m anyways... so yea I decided to give up cause I wanted to wake up at 8 a.m..

It was pretty awful... I know I still have psychosis. But that doesn't mean that tinnitus can't be keeping the voice alive. Other things can be at play. Idk. I know it's psychosis cause of how it started.

I'm just wondering if my low level hearing loss was treated if maybe the voice would go away?

No one recovers naturally. Its rare.... so natural recovery should be something that is watched. Why are sound effects more common now? The voice is constant don't get me wrong.... but sound effects are now a thing too.

I'm going to recover naturally. Even if I never recover. But yea anyways I'm done ranting

[softgrungeprophet]

wrt my last reblog 'cause this is something I have been thinking about esp as my AU requires me to do things like close-reads for plot—

honestly my most major criticism of the 2012 Scarlet Spider comic so far, which is a comic I otherwise really like, is the way black men are portrayed throughout the series. It reeks of that kind of "scary black man"/"all black men are thugs" trope, stereotype, etc.

Like, if it went deeper i could see doing something w/ annabelle as a white punk doing that "dated a black boy to rebel" thing, especially with some of her other behavior in the series and her personality overall—I could definitely buy that. But like, as written? It's not that deep. It doesn't go anywhere near that, it's just exactly as shallow as it looks...

And honestly, as written, I feel like her ex doesn't really bring much (if anything) to the story in the end. tbh in some ways it detracts because it really kind of undercuts the entire beauty and the beast thing going on, like why are kaine and the both armadillo deserving of this thoughtfulness wrt to monstrosity and forgiveness and so on, but then annabelle's ex boyfriend is just this big mean scary muscular black man with absolutely no depth to his character? he's just angry and threatening?

And of course the answer is: Well, neither Kaine nor the Armadillo are black.

But like—and this is repeated throughout the series as part of Kaine's woes, right?—Kaine has killed people. Multiple people. And yes, we're to understand his motivation here has largely been survival, and a lot of the time he has been put into impossible situations, and has been abused and manipulated multiple times, and for all his jadedness is actually very naive—but like... In that case, are we to assume worse of Annabelle's ex, who is a regular human man?

(albeit apparently 7 feet tall, which, again see the post i just reblogged as far as dehumanization of black men goes. obviously there are 7 foot tall black men irl, like Shaq, but it's the specific way this character is presented, right? It's not just that he's tall or has dark skin. He is presented as an inherent threat, and as an unsympathetic character, and the visual design is part of that. He's not a real person, he was designed to evoke specific emotions and assumptions, and the fact that he's built like a concrete wall and towers over Kaine is part of that)

(and what irony in that Kaine was himself originally designed to be large and imposing and beast-like, partially as an inversion, partially to humanize him, by doing the opposite)

But Kaine is white, of course.

Anyway I genuinely almost expected some kind of twist to Annabelle's ex in that issue, and there was none, and i think that's a major failing on the series' part, esp since pretty much the only other black characters (whether good or bad or neutral) are mostly like... glock-toting gangsters...

My other main criticism is that I dislike the way Zoe is portrayed as simply "craaaaazy" w/ almost no nuance to that trait, though I think there are some interesting aspects of her relationship with Kaine and in the fact that she like... stalks him, and how that interplays with his arguably traumatic romantic/sexual history.

The stuff with Zoe is a more minor criticism by comparison but it's still something that bugs me because it has something to it but it's just not really there.

Anyway, it is a bummer because I really genuinely like Kaine's solo, but these two specific things are frustrating in their existence, especially because they really could have just... been avoided from the start? like there's not really a reason for these details to be this way...

but idk...

[enderspawn]

theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me. 

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.) 

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so. 

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them. 

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties. 

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry. 

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway. 

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

[audreydoeskaren]

do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?

tw homophobia, pedophilia

Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.

As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.

Gayness as disease

Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.

In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.

Gayness as power/status symbol

Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.

I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.

It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.

By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.

One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.

Gayness as crime

I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century. 

[kelvintimeline]

I haven’t watched Nart in ages tbh but I do follow people who have and I vaguely remember a minor discourse over sasunaru/narusasu/whocareswhosthetop being a Bad Ship™? Is it a problematique and toxique ship? I honestly can’t recall. I kinda shipped it as a teen tbh so I’m kinda shocked as I am the wokest anon on tumblr. I know you're biased and that's why I ask. Let's be biased together.

Oh, honey, that discourse was not minor. It was like a decade long war I did not engage in. Lots of people who shipped Sasusaku and Naruhina claimed that shipping SNS was a "mutually abusive" relationship and that you are morally bad for shipping it.

When I think... I think that misses the point? And the context of WHY it's being shipped.

Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is not healthy. But the point is that... it wasn't ever allowed to be. The well was fucking poisoned.

Their story is a tragedy.

It's about children who weren't taught love or communication but that problems are solved with violence and desperately, DESPERATELY hoping they can learn, together, to put feelings to words and to stop begging for each other with fists and jutsu and to finally be able to say what they have been feeling for years and years of aching.

It's about the intricate rituals that let them touch each other but only if it hurts. The entire shinobi system is built around breaking down kids so they can only ever crave pain and the fight. You watch them fight and you want them to heal instead.

Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is wanting them to better each other but being aware of all of the things standing in their way--Konoha's lies, Orochimaru's poisoning seal, the trauma... the fear.

Shipping Sasuke and Naruto is wanting better for them, always. It’s realizing their entire lives are crafted around violence and wanting them to find peace in each other.

They're different than the "abusive" ships where the "abuse" is hot or "fun to explore because “it’s dark." Their story is just... a tragedy that you hope finds a happier ending. Where the catharsis isn't death or more sadness but rather that they are able to overcome their fatal flaws instead.

So much of the "toxic" shipping people like me rail against reaffirm things like misogyny, racism, power imbalances, pedophilia, incest but Sasunaru skirts around all of that.

Sasuke and Naruto are equals, two sides of the same sad coin, who do not have power over each other to abuse. They just have all that rage and fear and hope. Their entire bond is defined by feeling so much fucking love and empathy that it scares them away (or in Sasuke's case, makes him think he has to kill Naruto... but he's never able to).

They idealize each other while also having painfully grounded understandings of the other's flaws, so you watch them think too highly of the other, then too lowly, and you want them to find that happy middle.

You don't enjoy the violence, you mourn the lost opportunity. You see them fight and ache knowing they don't have to, that they were forced to by powers far greater than their own.

Their circumstances are so, so removed from like... what people try to shame them for?

And I get why many people wouldn't be comfortable shipping them but it's just like... not what people think it is.

You're not reading Valley of the End Part 2 and enjoying the violence and thinking that's what makes them a good ship. It's not like Killing Eve or whatever where one stabs the other and that's their weird way of flirting or whatever.

Their violence is painful and terrible and it hurts you, it hurts them, it's something you want them to never do again. And it’s something you know they don't actually want to do but feel they HAVE to.

And the appeal of it is the idea that you can be profoundly fucked up by life and still have someone who wants to be with you, even when it's difficult, even when you push them away. Its just taken to an extreme because it's a story about child soldiers, so it's not as easy to do a 1:1 comparison to real life but like... that's all it is. It can't really be paralleled to real life violence. It’s just a sad story a lot of us have felt we have lived on some sad symbolic level when we’ve been afraid of being loved or felt like we didn’t deserve it.

[thefairyletters]

✨ Spooky Recs✨

I read a lot of fanfictions... More than I am proud of. I thought I should recommend as I go before I lose sight of their existence among the sea of my favorites.

Since past few days I have been craving for some creepy, unnerving fanfics that will keep me restless and awake at night. I remembered my favorites and wanted to read more of the kind so I looked up, patiently going through each story that sounded compelling. I also revisited old stories for nostalgia's sake.

Of course, rare as they are, in Naruto fandom no less, it's even harder to find a horror and mystery fic that is well written, not dropped under 2 chapters, and really keeps your attention.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Genre: Horror, Mystery, Comedy

I've rated 4 aspects of the work -

Writing – I don't judge writing based solely on the grammar and vocabulary. I also consider how the author expands upon a subject, if they are consistent with the facts, if they are able to keep the attention of the readers regardless of their creative writing skills.

Characters – If the characters are well-developed, in their given character, if OCs have any real significance to the story.

Plot – How gripping is the storyline, if the story sticks to its original plot, the structure of the story, plot holes.

Flow – Mother-of-slow-burn, slow-but-steady, steady, fast, I-am-speed

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When the flowers cry : TCOOKIES777 || M || AO3/FFN || SasuSaku || Goth Horror || Post-Canon, set during Blank Period || Ongoing

When one of the greatest medical-nin in the world goes missing in what should have been a simple delivery to the Land of Spring’s Hidden Snow Village, the rest of Team 7 must reunite to find her. But even the most powerful team of shinobi will find themselves challenged in a battle against the supernatural. With Sasuke's return, vengeful ghosts of the past will test him and his love.

My thoughts : One of the best stories I've read in a while, and top tier SS stories. I read this in one sitting. I never listen to music while reading, preferring silence, but for this one, I suggest you do as the author says. Also, keep some tissues and food with you. This story is major in mystery and minor in horror but otherwise full of SS fluff.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady, if a bit confusing (but that's why it's mystery)

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Kyuro : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

“Oh,” says Naruto, “well, its sort of like that. Except in this village, the story has a way more darker ending – it basically goes like this: the girl and the guy plan to run away together. The guy steals a bunch of treasure, and stashes it away. But then, when he goes to get the girl at her village, he kills her and decides to run away with all that money. But then he is killed by the guards of the girls village and now they're both dead and the treasure is hidden away somewhere”. Sasuke stares blankly at the blond, “that story makes no sense”.

My thoughts : I know you must be thinking the same thing as Sasuke – "makes no sense". I did too, but it's a pretty cool short story. It lies on the funny, creepy side that slowly starts to lose its funny touch. SS makes stupid mistakes later on but it could be because they are MCs. The ending is very ambiguous. It's not my favorite mystery but it is something. Enjoyable read but not something I will pick again.

Writing: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Fast

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Moon stuttering in the sky : xfrinz || T || AO3 || Gen || Mystery || Pre-Shippuden || One-shot

Kakashi is suspicious of many things about Haruno Sakura. Too many things about her don't make sense, with too many incongruous explanations.

My thoughts : Author of this story just summarised Pre-Shippuden in less than 4k words and made some tiny changes to it. Not much though. One of my favorite gen fics yet. Read it if you haven't yet. You'll feel more sad than thrilled tbh. But worth it.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: I-am-Speed

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Breath mints : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Comedy-Mystery || Post-Canon || Ongoing (maybe)

Their home no longer exists with the life it once had – in fact no settlement thrives anymore; they exist only in a snapshot that contradicts time itself. Families within their own homes sleep in a slumber that they cannot wake from. Those that were chatting on the street prior to the event simply drop their heads and remain unresponsive.

My thoughts : I picked it up for Mystery but I stayed for Comedy. But of course that's not to say supernatural elements in this story is not it, but it sure pales in comparison to effortless humor in this story. Lee and Kiba pair is something you don't see often but they get along too well here. Charactisation is on point as well. SS angst! + NS angst (but it's downplayed)

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady

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The Curse : sincerelyLen || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Horror || Post-Canon || Ongoing

Team 7 is unexpectedly assigned an S-Ranked Mission involving an unsolved mystery of 10 years. An eerie adventure that will test their teamwork, strengths, and greatest fears. Do you believe in Curses?

My thoughts : My all-time favourite horror Naruto fanfiction. To me, this sets the standard of how mystery and horror elements should be handled. I have never been able to get this story out of my mind even it's been years. Perfect charactisation of Team 7 with Smart-yet-Stupid!Sakura, I-can-fight-aliens-and-reanimated-corpses-but-keep-ghosts-away-from-me!Naruto and I-dont-get-paid-enough-for-this!Sasuke. I especially love OCs here. They kinda reminds me of Pillars from KnY. You must read this story, loosely based on Zombie apocalypse + curse concept.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-Steady

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Silent High : Istoria || T || FFN || Gen || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

A bit of the Silent Hill series mixed in with Naruto. Trapped in an illusion whose rules are unknown, they struggle to find answers before darkness consumes them.

My thoughts : One of the best mystery fanfictions I've read. I especially loved how this story handled Genjutsu in the best possible way it could without it turning into some cliche, ghost story. Though really, this story has shown what my greatest fear actually is. I will never be able to leave my back open to a wheelchair. This story has simple writing yet it gives you creeps with the twists and turns. A must read one because it is unlike any other in this list.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Silence of the Damned : Daystar Clarion || T || FFN || Gen || Psychological Horror, Mystery(?) || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

When Naruto wakes up to a dead body in his bathroom, he begins a quick spiral into madness.

My thoughts : Listen to Halsey's Control while reading this. Quite chilling, deals with mental issues and morbid but in a fascinating way. It gives a new meaning to Dark!Naruto, but one that actually makes sense. I never saw the ending coming... I had something else in mind and I was convinced it would be, but nope. Here's a sequel to this One-Shot (Uzumaki's War) which I never picked up.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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To the Victor : Letta || T || FFN || NaruSaku || Psychological Horror || Shippuden || One-Shot

Naruto loses the fight and Sakura is a trophy of war.

My thoughts : A very twisted NS, if you squint. It's not horror but it might as well be... it is still a disturbing story to see from the eyes of Sakura. Quite chilling to be in Sakura's shoes. But I love this because it is one shot and I loved the ending.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Steady

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Under the Skin : BukkakeNoJutsu || T || FFN || Team 8 || Body Horror || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

Your actions don't make you a monster. Your reasons do.

My thoughts : There's a reason why Shino is my favourite team 8 member. In my opinion, Shino is also one of the strongest Shinobi of his generation. His clan techniques are just that horrifying. This story is testament to that. He is so terrible.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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Instant Message : Keelah || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Murder mystery || Modern AU || Incomplete

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

My thoughts : I read this story a long time ago and have read this twice. Personally, it has the most interesting concept of all stories in the list. It reminds me of Vocaloid series, "Bookmark of the end". Kind of. To those who are thinking of picking this up, go ahead! It's a great book and has one of the best suspense I've read in Fandom. BUT, it has been stopped in mother-of-all-cliffhangers and Author is MIA for 4 years now. But, all things considered, it remains to be one of the best stories I've read.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Monomoth : Ohtze || M || FFN/AO3 || SasuSaku || Horror || AU || Incomplete

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses.

My thoughts : I read this story right after "The Curse", my favourite. From what I remember, Sakura and Sasuke are both mentally deranged, in different ways. Lots of death and gore to stomach, so not for weak readers. There's no speak of fluff in this one. Zero, Zilch, Nada. I wouldn't call it your classic 'Horror', but it is very disturbing, so psychological horror is more like it. Don't eat food while reading this one. Did I mention how Sakura is mentally disturbed beyond help in this one? And Sasuke is obsessed. If these suit your tastes, go ahead.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow

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I hope you enjoy this list. Let me know your opinion in comments.