#but spent a great deal of my childhood just getting blown up

[dumb-teambucciarati-headcanons]

Abbacchio figured out how to play (and win) minesweeper, and he considers it one of his greatest accomplishments (like something his parents would actually be proud of).

Fugo figured out how to play the first time he tried it, and didn’t know that a lot of people go their whole lives wondering how you actually are supposed to play.

Narancia always gets blown up and he always chuckles when it happens.

[taesanrot]

[thinkin bout you] taesan x f!reader | 5.8k words high school au, childhood friends 2 lovers, slight e2l, fake dating, first kiss, moving away and reunion kinda ???, also bffs 2 lovers ish, smut at the end note. happy (late) birthday to my lovely kay <333 hope u love it my cherry pie. sorry to everyone for how long this took, finishing this fic almost broke me. (and yes heres another taesan fic for the anon who was asking). also highly recommend listening to steve lacy while reading this, the plot was v inspired by infrunami and the entire lo-fis album :]

the first time you met taesan, he didn't give the grandest first impression. not that you really expected to be blown away by a six year old boy, but meeting him while he was covered in mud wasn't what you were anticipating either.

your family had just moved next to the boy's house, and as you picked dandelions and flowers from the front yard to collect and keep, you couldn't help but notice a young boy playing in the garden of the house next door. turning to see you, the boy giddily bounded over to you, introducing himself joyfully.

you should've been nicer; he was just another little boy enjoying the breezy summer day, but you couldn't help scrunching your nose as you eyed him up and down. his knees were green with grass stains and his arms and legs were covered with swipes of dirt, a bit of mud sticking to his cheek.

within a minute, his mother noticed her son poking his nose outside of the yard and came over to collect him, chiding his dirtiness and sending him back to his own abode. taesan pouted for less than a second before smiling brightly at you, waving happily as he ran back to his house. you frowned slightly at his bright demeanor.

although you were the same age as taesan, something both of your mothers were delighted by, you considered yourself more mature and too grown up for kiddish activities, and this logic applied to others your age as well.

growing up as well, you found boys to be immature and difficult creatures, always finding yourself repelled by their confusing antics. taesan was just any other boy to you, childish and juvenile.

despite your obvious disdain towards the young boy, your families still spent a great deal of time together. they were always encouraging the two of you to get along; you never had any of it.

taesan caught onto this attitude pretty quickly as well, wondering why you didn't like him. he decided he'd rather play with his toy cars and lay in the grass than dwell on it though.

this was how your dynamic was, the two of you in an unspoken agreement that it would be better to just leave each other alone.

you saw less and less of taesan after his parents decided to enroll him in a private school to finish out his middle and high school years. to be honest, you couldn't have cared less -- your childish neighbor was far from your mind as you immersed yourself in your high school sports, particularly enjoying volleyball and swimming.

being on both teams for your school and trying to keep your grades up took up the majority of your time, meaning you hadn't exactly experienced the infamous teenage romance, as your parents liked to call it.

you didn't know why your parents cared about your love life so much. you felt perfectly content with your school activities and your various friends, not feeling the need to burden yourself with a boyfriend.

taesan was similar to you in that way; after growing into adolescence and beginning teenagerhood he began to delve into music, writing and composing songs became his life. granted, he'd had a couple flings here and there, so he wasn't completely in the dark when it came to relationships.

for his final semester of his senior year, taesan ended up transferring back to your high school. you found out about this when you watched him run out the front door one morning as you were unlocking your car, ready to drive yourself to school.

you almost didn't realize it was him, granted the last time you'd gotten a proper glance at him was when the two of you were maybe 12. his once chestnut brown hair was dyed jet black, and the curliness of it had settled and loosened so it was just slightly wavy.

he'd grown at least half a foot, shoulders broad and sturdy. you eyed his long legs that carried him to the bus that he was practically chasing. biting a laugh back, you watched him sheepishly smile at the bus driver, who rolled his eyes before letting the boy on.

the next time you saw taesan was that evening actually. returning home after swim practice, you saw your mom in the living room vacuuming the floors. pausing for a moment, she unplugged the machine to greet you, hugging you gently and asking how your day was.

"nothing crazy. practice was fine too." your mom fought the urge to sigh out loud. you were always talking about sports while she was constantly hoping you'd come back telling her that you'd met someone.

"that's great, honey" she faked a smile at your denseness, turning around to continue cleaning.

"taesan's back." for a moment, your mom looked caught off guard before smiling again, hoping if she acted normal you'd be encouraged to continue.

"and?"

"he looks different" you spoke as you fell onto the couch, rubbing the back of your neck.

"it's been years since the last time you saw him, hasn't it?" you nodded.

"he's going to my school now." you smiled again thinking about how silly he'd looked this morning.

"i know, i invited him and his mom over for dinner today." your mom replied sheepishly, anticipating an outburst of sorts from her daughter.

"what?" you sputtered in surprise, eyes wide as you stared at your mom.

"what? they're our neighbors, plus i haven't had a chance to catch up with mrs. han in a while." you groaned at the idea of an awkward dinner and having to dress nicely. you trudged up the stairs to your room to wash your hair and find some decent looking clothes that weren't your team sweats.

++

you were helping your mom set the table when the doorbell rang, sighing as your mom giggled and turned to answer the door. hearing both of your moms' giddy voices around the corner as they greeted each other, you sat on the couch in your living room. taesan walked past his mom and your mom reuniting and appeared around the corner, meeting the sight of you scrolling on your phone on the couch, smiling as you texted someone.

"hey." your gaze immediately fixed on taesan. he had grown up well, his jawline defined and lips tinted pink. his mouth had sort of a natural pout to it, and his eyes were a pretty shade of chocolate. his hair was long, bangs growing out and parted down the middle to fall down his ears and frame his face.

you made note of his figure as well, shoulders broad and torso narrowed into his waist. he was tall, much taller than you'd thought this morning.

standing at the end of the couch you were on, his hands were stuffed in his pockets as he took you in.

you'd also grown up quite a bit in the past couple years. your once shorter hair was longer and flowed down your shoulders, with partially lightened streaks sprinkled throughout from swimming.

you were also quite toned from how active you were, and taesan's eyes traced the lines down your neck as you straightened your posture.

"hi." you replied, lazy voice contrasting your stiff demeanor. he eyed your dressy top and jeans before looking down at his old band tee and ripped jeans.

"was i supposed to wear something nicer?" he asked sheepishly, shoulders slumping in relief as you shook your head no and smiled at him softly.

dinner wasn't really anything unordinary, mainly consisting of your parents conversing with taesan's mother as you and the boy ate in silence next to each other. at one point, you heard your name tossed around in conversation, looking up in response.

"y/n! you and taesan should carpool to school together!" you fought to suppress a groan and eye roll as you watched your moms cheerily converse about the arrangement.

you enjoyed your drives to and from school alone, giving you some peace and solitude. no more of that, i guess, you thought bitterly.

++

"you ride to school in silence?" taesan asked after swinging your car door open and stepping in. you yawned loudly. early mornings never really agreed with you.

"i don't really have time to listen to music." taesan raised his eyebrow at this.

"don't have time? what are you, the president?" surprisingly, taesan's quips made you crack a smile. considering how you'd felt about him before, you figured riding with him would be a bother.

as you got to know taesan better, though, you realized there was much more to your neighbor than met the eye. he introduced you to his favorite bands and showed you various musical genres. he taught you about a new genre every week, on a personal mission to help you find your favorite. you enjoyed watching him geek out about music, and you began to learn which artists and genres you liked the most.

eventually, taesan would come wait for your practices to end, often sitting in the bleachers and working on homework with headphones shoved in his ears.

you'd always bound up to him after, breathing shallowly as you tugged his earbuds to let him know you were done. he found you to be like a puppy at times like that, panting and waiting for him to pack up his stuff so the two of you could return home.

"is volleyball hard?" he asked one day on your drive home. this week was indie, a soft steve lacy song floating through the air as you turned to look at him.

"not really, it's pretty simple." taesan's face told you he disagreed. before he open his mouth retaliate, you spoke.

"i can teach you."

spending time with taesan was easy. sometimes, you felt like you were going crazy, pulling any excuse from the book to spend time with him. the two of you clicked so well, something that caught you off guard much more than you'd like to admit.

++

the semester passed by quicker than you could blink, and suddenly you were swept up in end of the year preparations. before you knew it, you were graduating.

pulling the cap over your hair, you turned to your parents.

"how do i look?" they both smiled happily at you, mirroring your own bright grin.

the ceremony felt like a dream, or like you were watching yourself out of your own body. diploma in hand, you were now outside, taking pictures with your various teammates and friends and teachers. at one point, while you were snapping pictures with your friend, belle, you caught a glimpse of raven black hair in the crowd.

glancing over, you saw taesan taking pictures with a small group of boys, the same ones you'd seen him around school with. there were also a couple of guys also looked about your age but weren't in caps and gowns.

either way, taesan's smile shone brighter and grasped your attention more than anything else. his eyes shrunk into crescents and his teeth were pearly white; if you squinted, a halo would probably appear over his head. you watched with a small smile as his friends pulled at his cap and ruffled his hair affectionately.

eventually, the two of your moms found each other and you were being pushed next to taesan to take a picture together.

"smile, kids!" you couldn't help but smile at their giddiness. looking up at taesan, you saw him chuckling as well. his arm wrapped around your side as your parent's cameras flashed.

"you both look so lovely together!" your face reddened with embarrassment at your mom's words, and you quickly slapped her arm to shut her up. taesan was left watching you walk away from him, eyes trained on the way your hair swung and how the wind ruffled your gown.

++

with school finally out, summer was in full swing. you didn't have any plans in particular, wanting to make the most of the next few months before the next phase of your life.

your mother seemed to have other plans, though. while you could tell she was less than happy with your lack of a boyfriend or even a fling throughout high school, she wasn't even trying to hide it anymore.

"y/n honey, mrs. jung's son is single. he's a sweet boy, you two should go out!"

"mom i said n--"

"and you're free thursday evening, perfect! i just texted his mom back!"

the date went as you expected -- painfully awkward. the two of you simply didn't mesh, conversation always fading off into thick silence. your frustration with your mother certainly didn't help either, you thought as you accidentally slammed the boy's car door when he picked you up.

falling onto your bed, you sighed and yanked your phone out of your purse, calling taesan. he was probably working on some beats right now anyways. the phone rung for a few seconds before you heard his raspy voice on the other side of the line.

"what's up?" he spoke lazily. you could hear the squeak of his chair as he leaned back in it.

"my mom sent me on a blind date." hearing him snicker at the other end of the line, you frowned.

"no way, how'd it go?" you answered with a loud ugh, causing taesan to fully burst out laughing.

"terrible, it was so fucking awkwa-- stop laughing asshole!" you cursed at taesan's chuckles.

"when did your mom decide to be your wingwoman?" you groaned, rolling over in your bed and fiddling with the end of your blanket.

"i don't know, but i hope this is the last one." you sighed in response.

++

unfortunately, fate was not on your side; the date with mrs jung's son was only the beginning of your mother's antics. your friday night plans now routinely consisted of an uncomfortable dinner date and ranting to taesan about it after.

ringing his doorbell, you waited for someone to answer while scrolling through your phone. you deleted your date, gyuvin's, number and hoped to god he picked up on your disinterest and didn't text you again.

looking up as the door opened, you were met with taesan's mother. mrs. han pulled you into a warm hug as she asked how your night was.

"ugh, don't ask, mrs han. i don't know how many more of these dates i can do." she smiled fondly at you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you two walked into the house.

"i'm sure you'll find the right guy eventually sweetie, he might be right under your nose." mrs. han elbowed you slightly, her expression playful. you laughed and kicked off your shoes.

"is taesan in his room?" she nodded and teasingly shooed you up the stairs.

taesan heard your slow steps up the stairs, not bothering to look up from his laptop until you were standing in his doorway, arms crossed. you were silently waiting: for acknowledgement and permission to come in. you knew you were always welcome into the boy's room, but taesan silently appreciated the way you respected his space.

"hey." he spoke, smiling and pausing the track playing from his laptop. he had been mixing, as usual. the second his voice left his lips, your shoulders slumped and you threw yourself face down onto his bed, groaning.

"i hate my life." you grumbled, the sound of your voice muffled by taesan's duvet. he chuckled, patting the back of your head playfully.

"there, there." he murmured sarcastically, and you rolled over so you could smack his hand away. taesan looked far more comfortable than you, in his pajama pants and a sweatshirt rather than a tight, uncomfortable blouse and skinny jeans.

the boy listened to you like a puppy as you delved into all the unfortunate details of your night.

"he showed up on a bike?" taesan's face was nearly red as he fought to not laugh. your already grumpy frown only deepened further, and you brought your hands up to massage your temples gently.

taesan's eyes locked on your fingers, mesmerized by your slow movements. moving his gaze down further, he quietly watched your muscles in your hand and forearm tense and contract with your ministrations.

the boy wouldn't tell you this, but he loved the nicer tops you wore, he loved when he could see the way your collarbone sat and trace the delicate curve of your neck with his eyes.

"taesan?" your quiet voice broke him out of his stupor of thought. his eyes refocused on your face, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. he hoped his hair was covering his reddened ears.

"why don't you just tell your mom you don't wanna go on dates anymore?" he spoke lazily, ignoring the way you narrowed your eyes, still trying to read into his previous glances. you shook your head, turning onto your back to face the ceiling. taesan was still propped against the headboard, his laptop and headphones now set aside.

"she won't listen. i know it's because she cares about me and thinks she's helping me out but i'm really tired of the whole routine." taesan's eyes softened. besides your teammates at school and him, you really weren't the most social person out there, blooming the most in the company of those you cared about the most.

taesan could tell the dates had taken a toll on you; the anxious preparation and stiff conversation wore you out much more than you let on. taesan was glad you trusted him with your thoughts and feelings -- he always wanted to be there for you through anything.

the boy moved forward so he was leaning over you slightly and nudged your shoulder with his knee.

"this is gonna sound really stupid, but you could just tell your parents that we're dating." you wanted to laugh but no words left your mouth, mind frozen trying to process what he was saying.

truthfully, what took you more off guard was the soft look in taesan's eyes as he looked down at you through his fluffy bangs. sitting up, you looked for any hint of playfulness or sarcasm in his face.

"really?" you asked confusedly. you hoped you didn't sound off put by the idea, the last thing you wanted was to hurt the feelings of the boy trying to help you.

"i mean, it would get your mom off your back, right? plus, she'd be pretty happy to know it was me of all people that you're with." with that, you smiled and rolled your eyes while shoving taesan lightly.

"oh because you're the hottest guy to ever walk this earth." you laughed as taesan sulked.

"that's not what i meant! you're such an asshole sometimes." taesan's pouted in the most exaggerated way possible, making you chuckle even harder. he was happy you were smiling again.

"besides your little ego trip, i do think it's a good idea." you spoke quietly, slightly embarrassed at how much you liked the idea of taesan looking out for you.

the two of you didn't really set rules, just that you'd hold hands and act a little more affectionate when the time called for it. to be frank, you and taesan didn't have to do much more than you already did; the two of you hung out pretty often anyways, now opting for calling your get togethers "dates" for show.

your mom was obviously thrilled when you told her about you and taesan. she went on a whole tangent about how she just knew the two of you would finally realize you liked each other.

what surprised you more was taesan's mom's reaction. she was not one bit surprised, even going as far as giving both of you a knowing look as you shyly stood next to each other in the kitchen while she brewed her coffee.

you were puzzled, not only by her meaningful gaze at the two of you but also at the redness flushing onto taesan's neck and cheeks. you told yourself he was just embarrassed that his mom was acting so blunt.

friday came along, and for the first time in a month, you were free. no stupid blind date, no painful conversation that made you want to rip your throat out and use it as a garnish for your pasta.

"we should celebrate." you blurted into the silent air. you and taesan were both laying on your floor, music playing from your laptop on your desk as the two of you sat in each others' company. taesan was writing in his journal, probably working on song lyrics, while you read a book. looking up from his notes, taesan clicked his pen and smiled at you.

"what do you wanna do?" you didn't have to look at taesan to hear the smile in his voice. while the two of you already hung out pretty much every day, it felt like the two of you were attached by the hip ever since your arrangement began.

taesan might've been going crazy, but he was enjoying your company too much.

he realized something was wrong with him when he starting smiling while taking out the trash; all because taking out the trash meant he could glance over at your house and wonder what you were up to.

what is going on with me? he thought to himself as he bumped his forehead on the lid of the trashcan, trying to snap himself out of his you-induced daze.

"wanna go see a movie?" you suggested timidly, waiting for taesan's reaction. you don't why you were so worried, you knew he was always down to do anything, but for some reason you wanted to pick something you know he'd like.

"can we get slushies?" taesan shot back, already getting up from the floor and reaching a hand to help you up.

++

"your parking sucks," the boy in your passenger seat quipped as you nearly took up two parking spots in the cinema's parking lot. looking around, the lot was nearly empty anyways. you turned and flicked his forehead, laughing as he whined dramatically.

"shut up, idiot." you watched taesan make an offended face and grab his chest theatrically.

"idiot? is that how you treat your poor boyfriend." you laughed at his loud gasping. reaching over, you ruffled your hand in his hair.

"i might be nicer if my poor boyfriend was the one driving us." you teased jokingly.

"fuck you, my parents needed the car!"

++

stepping past the ticket counter, the two of you made your way to concessions, looking for snacks for the movie.

“i got it.” taesan mumbled as he took your drink cup from your hands and walked up to the counter. you followed him with a teasing smile on your face, watching him pay for both of your drinks and a shared popcorn.

“i’m swooning” you joked as he took the receipt from the cashier and handed your cup back to you. he rolled his eyes in response, muttering something along the lines of you being annoying. you knew he didn’t mean a word of it, a small smile painted on his face as the two of you walked over to the drink station.

as you filled up your slushie, you suddenly felt taesan behind you. he quickly brought a hand to rest on your waist and bent to lay his head on your shoulder.

confusion overtook you. but more than that, you could feel your chest heating up and breaths shallowing. the skin of taesan’s chin rested on your shoulder and his breath tickled your ear gently; you had to physically restrain yourself from shivering.

after popping a cap on your drink and grabbing a straw, you turned to look at the boy behind you. you were already near whiplash from how close he was to you, his chest nearly touching yours.

“what was that about?” you tried to sound as unaffected as possible, hoping he couldn’t hear your heartbeat thrumming under your skin.

taesan looked at you for a second and looked over his shoulder again before taking a step back. his hands were shoved in his pockets and he bit his lip nervously.

“i think i saw my mom’s friend.” your eyes widened, tilting your chin to peek past his shoulder. if she was actually there, she was gone, probably in one of the theaters.

++

the two of you found your seats and your body finally cooled down. the more you thought about it, taesan's whole act wasn't really necessary. it wasn't like anyone was really suspecting of the two of you lying and the two of you looked enough like a boyfriend and girlfriend when you walked around.

sneaking a glance at your "boyfriend," you had never wished to know what he was thinking more than that moment. were the past 5 minutes replaying in his brain over and over again like they were in yours?

you couldn't even pay attention to the movie that was playing, mind and thoughts wholly dedicated to the boy eating popcorn next to you. the skin on your sides almost burned to feel his hands on them again.

clenching your fist, you fought to push the increasingly inappropriate thoughts about taesan away. you didn't understand why it was affecting you so drastically, you and taesan had been holding hands and hugging with no problem.

the way taesan's tall frame towered over you and had nearly wrapped around you as he rested on your shoulder made you head spin. he'd felt so warm behind you, like a blanket draping over you.

shivering slightly at the thought, you caught taesan's attention again.

"are you cold?" he whispered quietly, already taking off his zip up to give to you. you shook your head frantically, slightly horrified at him noticing your odd behaviour and misinterpreting it.

unfortunately for you, it was already too late and the boy draped the jacket gently over your legs, innocently smiling at you before looking back at the screen. you were absolutely certain there was no way you were surviving the next hour.

you were now fully wearing taesan's jacket as the two of you walked back to your car. you were trying to focus on anything besides the boy's warmth seeping from his hoodie into your skin.

taesan could tell something was off, eyes lingering on your slightly stiffened shoulders. at the same time, he was thinking about how he enjoyed the sight of you in his jacket a little too much for his liking. the sleeves reached past your wrists, almost to your fingers.

++

"did you like the movie?" taesan asked softly, glancing at you curiously.

you both were now sitting in your car, a slow rnb song playing softly from the stereo of your car. taesan's body turned slightly to face you. you, on the other hand, were staring straight ahead, not wanting make eye contact with him in fear of the visceral reaction you might have.

"um, yeah, that one girl was funny." you didn't even know why you were pretending you remembered the damn movie. your mind had been on the boy sitting next to you the whole time.

"you don't need to lie, y/n." your eyes widened at the boy's words. you were done for. taesan leaned forward, tilting his body and head so he could look you in the eyes as you stared intensely at your shoes. he continued.

"i can tell something's on your mind. what're you thinking about?" the boy asked gently, noticing your clenched fists.

"you." you blurted out before you could stop yourself. there was no going back. as the feelings you didn't realize you'd been holding for taesan flooded your mind, you couldn't drown them any longer. hearing a small gasp, you forced yourself to continue

"i know we're just friends, i'm sorry --" you began before taesan's voice sliced through the air, louder and stable than before.

"don't..." your stomach dropped, he definitely hated you know. you almost felt sick, praying he didn't think you were taking advantage of his kindness. he'd offered up this whole arrangement as a friend for your sake and sanity, and you went and fell for him.

"don't apologize for that, ever." taesan finally found the words he was looking for, and you looked up confusedly to see his eyes boring into you. his gaze was heavy, you wanted to shrivel underneath it.

his eyes ran over every part of you he could see, across your eyes and lips and down your neck and along your shoulders. they trailed down your arms that were wrapped in his jacket and brushed over your exposed legs. your tense fists and eyes screwed shut didn't go unnoticed either.

you couldn't bear to keep your eyes open any longer, silently begging him to do or say anything else.

"what does that mean?" you muttered, eyes still shut. taesan's stomach flipped and he couldn't help but smile at the sight of you so nervous, all because of him.

"i've been thinking about you, too." your eyes shot open in surprise, seeing taesan smiling at you warmly. his large hand reached over the console to wrap around your still clenched fist, his fingers working to unravel your hand and intertwine yours with his.

he placed his other hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him completely. you held your breath as his touch creeped up the curve of your shoulder, hand fully cupping the back of your neck. you wordlessly leaned into his touch, tongue coming out to wet your lips for what you knew was coming.

taesan thought you looked beautiful like this; the only thing illuminating the two of you was the glow of the dashboard, the light wrapped around you like a halo. your lips shone in the dim light, glossed over and beckoning to the boy.

your lungs felt they were on fire as you waited for taesan to something, anything.

"taesan..." your shaky voice was no louder than a whisper. the boy finally snapped out of his dazed state, leaning over the console to meet your lips with his.

taesan was as gentle as he could be with you, eyes closed and plush lips pressing against yours softly. the kiss lasted for a moment before he pulled away, opening his eyes slowly. while he was aching to go further with you than just a simple peck, the last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm you, knowing this was your first kiss.

you, on the other hand, had the front of his shirt pinched between your fingers, pulling him back to you within a second. you melted against his lips, eyes fluttering shut as your face grew hotter by the second.

taesan's hand that was holding yours moved to squeeze your thigh. you gasped lightly against his lips and his tongue moved past your lips, exploring your warm mouth.

your head was spinning from the unfamiliar sensations, eyes nearly rolling back as taesan used his hand behind your neck to cup the back of your head and tilt your face. your lips moved together in an unspoken synchrony; taesan could've sworn he saw stars when you bit his lip, groaning into your mouth softly.

the low music from the stereo was now joined by the lewd noises coming from your mouths. the two of you continued making out, your hand now gripping taesan's bicep while his fingers dancing along your shoulders.

you finally pulled away to catch your breath, opening your eyes slowly. a string of spit stretched between your and taesan's lips, lit up by the dashboard lights. taesan felt his stomach tighten as you wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, never breaking eye contact with him.

it wasn't until a group of kids your age walked past your car that the two of you remembered where exactly you were -- a public parking lot.

"we should get out of here." you mumbled as you switched the car's gear into drive. taesan simply nodded, still reeling from what just happened. as you pulled out of the parking lot, he licked his lips, hoping to get another taste of you. or what was left of you, at least,

the ride home was quiet, the only sound being the music from your stereo. the movie theater wasn't too far from your neighborhood anyways; your car pulled into your driveway a mere 5 minutes later.

you moved extra slowly as you switched the car into park and turned off the ignition, hoping taesan would take the opportunity to say something. the boy could read you like a book, practically feeling the anticipation and nervousness radiating from your body.

"what do you want to do now?" unfortunately, taesan did not say anything close to what you were expecting. you coughed, caught by surprise while also stalling so you could think of a response.

"i mean we both like each other, right?" you asked, face reddening within a second. taesan smiled and nodded. you continued.

"are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?" you inquired teasingly. taesan playfully scoffed.

"why do i have to be the one to ask?" he whined, eliciting a giggle from you.

"i thought you were a gentleman." taesan rolled his eyes at your jab, reaching over to grab your hand and intertwine your fingers with his.

"y/n, will you be my real, not pretend girlfriend?" taesan spoke dramatically, like he was in front of an audience. you laughed even harder, fake swooning as he kissed the back of your hand.

"hmm can i think about it?" you nearly lost it watching the dramatic betrayal on taesan's face. he shoved your shoulder lightly, smiling as he crossed his arms stubbornly.

"i'm kidding, i would love to be your real, not pretend girlfriend." you sealed the deal by leaning forward to press a kiss to the boy's cheek, making a loud smacking sound that made the two of you laugh.

"i can't believe it only took you a week to succumb to me" taesan quipped as the two of you stepped out of the car.

"shut up mr. i've been thinking about you too." you shot back, jabbing the boy with your elbow lightly.

the two of you bantered and held hands in your front yard, the same place where you had fatefully met 12 years ago. and it was taesan's mom who once again beckoned him back, sticking her head out of the front door of the boy's house and calling his name.

"coming!"

[sidespart]

For the fic title thing: Make Up Your Mind/Catch Me I’m Falling

Make Up Your Mind (this seriously got away from me and became basically a whole string of conscious fic whoops)

Logince, Bakery/coffeeshop AU Mutual Pining/ Not-Actually-Unrequited love, + loceit friendship

So Janus owns a Bakery (struggling to think of a snake/lie based bread pun for the name but ehh). He is the head only baker and sends most of his time in the basement kitchen blasting the phantom of the opera soundtrack and kneading dough. 

Logan is his childhood friend. Janus hired him as cashier after Logan dropped out of collage but then he never left and is now basically manager/ accountant/ hbic of this whole operation.

So one night as Janus is leaving he’s casually like: ‘oh by the way, a couple are coming by tomorrow for a wedding cake consultation’

And Logan blocks the door and is like: ‘Janus. We don’t do wedding cakes. We don’t even do cake. You only make weird artisanal bread. it took me 6 months and 8 powerpoint presentations to convince you to sell banana loaf’

Jan, his eye enormous: ‘but Logan, you should have heard this guy on the phone. They only want to use LGBTQ businesses for their wedding, they want to support the community that’s supported them for so long. He spoke so passionately and eloquently about why it just had to be us I couldn't say no’

Logan, his eyes not enormous: did you tell this man we make wedding cakes just to make the phone conversation end?

Janus: I was going to miss the murder, she wrote marathon, Logan 

So Jan manages to escape, and Logan rolls his eyes but like. This is nowhere near the worst ‘cleaning up after Janus lied to get out of a situation and made everything more complicated for no goddamm reason’ incident that he has had to deal with during the course of their friendship so, whatever: he can tell the couple there was a miscommunication when they show up in the morning. 

Next day, the guys arrive. Virgil, who barley introduces himself and then stays hunched in his hoodie not speaking for the whole meeting, and Roman. 

Roman does not have a problem speaking. Roman has lots of ideas.

Roman has a binder. 

Somehow in the course of this conversation Logan goes from ‘we don’t make wedding cakes’ to ‘I’LL SHOW YOU, WE’LL MAKE THE BEST GODDAMM WEDDING CAKE THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN’

Maybe it was the passion of Romans argument. Maybe it was the slightly disdainful look on his face when he looked round the shop. Maybe it was the ridiculous amount of money he was prepared to pay (see: Janus insists on only making specific, weird bread as to why the shop’s always on the brink of collapse). Maybe it was the power of the binder (Logan is like 80% sure Roman hit him with the binder at one point). Maybe its just Logan hasn't had a full blown passionate argument like that since high school debate club and the rush of adrenaline made him dumb.

Whatever the reason - they’re now fully committed to making this 6 tier, purple and blue, Disney inspired, multiflavoured wedding cake

(Janus, who skipped out on the meeting because he is Like That: But Logan....we don’t make wedding cakes...this was really irresponsible of you...

 Logan: I know where you sleep. I could kill you at any time) 

Which would be doable (the weddings a while off, and Logan is ready to RESEARCH) except Roman keeps. Coming. Back. 

With new ideas. And tweaks. And suggestions. All of them seemingly designed to make the cake less structurally sound. 

Basically every time he comes in they end up having a blazing row, first about Romans inability to make up his mind about the cake and then about...literally everything. One time they spent 25 minuets arguing about whether or not Shakespeare wrote all of his plays, which somehow turns into ‘who was the best host of blues clues?’ which then turned  into ‘how would nationalised healthcare best be implemented?’ (the loudest arguments were during the blues clues section).Logan had even fewer customers then normal that day.

(Logan: I hate that guy so much! He shows up at 2pm every day and now my blood pressure has started going up at 1.55pm in anticipation of the fight! He’s causing me actual medical distress because he’s so stupid!

Janus:...you’ve memorised some guys schedule and your heart starts racing whenever you see him?

Logan: yes! because he is my enemy!

Janus:...

Janus: mmKay.)

ANYway, one day Roman turns up and is like: Can’t fight today. Need caffeine. Must Study. and sequesters himself on one of their two rinky dink tables and starts pulling enormous textbooks out of his bag. Turns out Roman is in law school, he’s back home for the whole summer to help with wedding prep and has been neglecting his summer reading. He wants to be an environmental lawyer and, ideally, singly handily prosecute every oil company and give a speech at the UN whilst wearing an immaculately fitted Italian suit. 

Logan has a panicked moment of OH NO HE’S SMART (he doesn't need an oh no he’s hot moment because Roman’s been hot the whole time). Very carefully he does not think about how upset hearing Roman mention the wedding again made him feel, and then shares a bit about his own anxiety during college which led to him dropping out.

Roman says degree or no degree its obvious Logan is one of the smartest, most capable people Romans ever met.

Cue: blushing, stammering, Logan standing up to quickly and knocking half a pot of coffee over etc etc all that good fluff. 

And after that their conversations are less confrontational (although they still debate like. everything.) and more friendly.

They have one (1) more conversation about the wedding wherein Roman apologises for being so stressed and snappy over all the preparation stuff but he just wants everything to be perfect for Virgil. (Logan, awkwardly: you must love him a lot. Roman, himbo-ly: Yeah!) aaand then Logan changes the subject to the best rhyming structure because Romans big sappy grin is making his heart do awful twisty things-

And eventually, Roman asks Logan to go out with him outside the bakery.

Logan: hahaha this is friendship, we are great friends, we are going out as friends. I am not going on a date with a man with a fiancé because that would be the actions of a crazy person.

 So they go on their date. It’s amazing. Roman leans in for a kiss at the end and Logan is delighted!

And then devastated.

He pushes Roman away, yells some creative insult (malodorous centurion?) and flees. Spends the next week basically hiding in the kitchen area, refusing to see any customers and working on the wedding cake.

(which is looking perfect by the way)

So after a week of Logan moping round the kitchen Janus finally blocks the door to stop him leaving and demand he tells him what the hell is wrong. And after a few minuets of filibustering Logan ends up telling him everything.

“In any case, the very fact that he is the kind of man who would cheat on his fiancé means he’s not the kind of man I thought he was. Therefore any alleged feelings I may have developed towards him would now be null and void” says Logan, looking like the worlds sadist accountant

Janus: So...wait. You’re saying wedding cake guy and hot lawyer guy are the same person?

(Logan: you need to come out of the basement more often Janus: YOU need to tell me what’s going on in your life more often. (they have had this conversation many times in the past))

So Janus sincerely tells Logan he’s sorry...and that he’s even more sorry that he needs him to help him deliver the cake to the venue tomorrow.

(this thing is way to big for one person to carry and there’s no way Jan would trust any of their occasional teenage cover staff to do this and ‘we’ll go round the back and you wont have to see anyone anyway comon Lo’ you basically built this monstrosity you should see it home)

So, reluctantly, Logan goes. And they go round the back as promised, and get this enormous cake settled, and then get told to wait there one sec cus one of the grooms is going to come sign for it and before Logan can throw himself out of the widow (get OFF me Janus we’re on the ground floor it’s FINE)  from behind them they hear squeeing.

There’s a curly haired dude in a pastel blue linen suit who Logan has never seen before in his life looking at the cake and cooing over ‘all the little details! its perfect! oh Virgil is going to love this! You know he was so embarrassed about asking for a Disney themed cake he had to ask Roman to go with him to -”

“Who ARE you?”

The man blinked at Logan, who realised dimly that he still had one foot up on the windowsill and slowly returned it to the floor. 

“I’m Patton” said Patton.

“And I’m Janus” said Janus, removing his arms from where they’d still been clamped around Logan’s waist and stepping smoothly towards Patton, clipboard held aloft “A pleasure to meet you, if you could just sign here...”

“BUT-” Patton paused, hand still raised to accept the clipboard, and looked over again at Logan who found himself mumbling:  “but - but the groom is supposed to sign for it?”

And Patton just smiled at him looking a bit bemused and goes ‘I am the groom? And who are you kiddo?”

Logan says he’s Logan. Patton suddenly looks a whole lot less friendly. 

“Oh.” says Patton. “You.”

And since Logan’s mind is currently refusing to take in the information in front of him Janus is the one who ends up stepping in between them and going “so just for 100% transparency - you are Patton. 

“yes?”

“and today you are marrying the love of your life: Virgil?”

“Yes!”

“And are either of you, at any point today, also planning on marrying one Roman Sanders, caffeine addict and terrible communicator?”

And Paton burst out laughing and says “ROMAN? Virgil’s big brother Roman? He’s my best man but I don’t think we’re planning to take it any further...”. And because Patton is apparently much quicker on the emotional uptake than Logan he gives him a vey soft, if slightly exasperated, look and says:

“Roman - who again, is my future brother-in-law- is helping set up in the main hall.”

And Logan likes to think he said thank you before he took off fucking RUNNING through the building but he can’t be sure.

So he gets to the hall, where a load of people are setting out chairs, putting up flowers etc,  and skids to a stop at one end of the aisle. Shouts: “ROMAN.” (Roman and Virgil, who were standing at the other end arguing over a flower arrangements, both look up) “YOU’RE NOT MARRYING YOUR BROTHER.”

“um.” Says Roman “No?”

Explanations are given. Virgil, who is a lot more talkative now that he’s not on 7th wedding appointment of the day burn out, is ready to physically fight Logan for breaking his brothers heart. And then once he understands the full story is ready to kill both of them for being such dumbasses.

Roman: But I s2g I told the guy on the phone that it was the groom and best man coming??? Logan: Yeah he might have lied and said you were a couple for a joke, or he may have just straight up not listened to you. Either way, he is just Like That.

Logan: WHY DID YOU NEVER MENTION VIRGIL WAS YOUR BORTHER?? Roman: I WAS TRYING TO GET TO KNOW YOU AND ALSO SEDUCE YOU WHY WOULD I WASTE TIME TALKING ABOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER??? Virgil: Yeah...he does like talking about himself, sorry he’s just  Like That.

Anyway it all ends fluffily, Patton and Virgil get married. Roman cries. Logan and Jan hang around for the wedding. Roman and Logan hold hands throughout the speeches and dance during the reception. Roman has to go back to law school soon but they agree to call each other every day at 2pm to catch up and argue. 

Janus gets off with the moustachioed DJ. 

And Roman and Logan get another chance at their first kiss.

[missmorosis]

here’s our bus route map for my bus ride! (masterlist!)

here’s the original event post :)

HI EVERYONE!! i just wanted to thank you all for your participation BECAUSE AAAAAA YOU GUYS DELIVERED AND UGH I WAS LITERALLY SO WORRIED NOBODY WAS GONNA WRITE ANYTHING BUTSJFLKFASDF

ALL OF YOU ARE SO TALENTED OKAY??? LIKE BYE I WAS BLOWN AWAY

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT HEHEHE I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO SO MUCH!! AND THE FACT THAT YOU SPENT TIME ON THIS EVENT 😭😭MWAH MWAHH

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 400!! MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND KISSES :D

ALSO SORRY AHHA THIS WAS POSTED SO LATE

WE IGNORE HOW IT’S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET FROM LA TO LONDON VIA BUS JKDFJKFJK

here’s how i formatted it!

title- author’s @!

pairing genre warnings word count their summary that they made

-> my review!

let’s take a look at our map...

starting from LA, heading to bilbao! we’ll stop along the bus stops on our way! 

and yes im aware that the route is going in a weird, illogical way if bilbao is our last stop, shush i wasnt thinking when i made bilbao our last city KJDFJKS

masterlist under the cut!!

now arriving at... los angeles, California!

-> write an AU!! the AU can be literally anything: royalty AU? road trip AU? GO FOR IT!! just as long as it’s not in the canon era hehehe

first stop... “something only the stars know” - @luvoratomi​ 

pairing: suna rintarou x gn!reader genre: secret relationship au, royal au, crown prince!suna, knight!reader, established relationship, fluff, angst  word count: 544 their summary: in which you and crown prince, suna rintarou, find comfort in each other’s arms underneath the moonlight, where only the stars are witnesses of your love.

-> my review: um. nayru. OKAY IM CONSTANTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR TALENT AND THIS IS NO EXCEPTION. i dont even KNOW who rintarou is but im in love with him. ALSO I DONT THINK IVE EVER READ A ROYAL AU BUT KLASDFJ THIS WAS SO?? WELL?? WRITTEN?? ive reread it at LEAST 5 times.   

next stop... an untitled zombie au from @eunoianthia

pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x female!reader genre: zombie au, angst :) warnings: a lot of angst, death, a bit of gore? word count: 1.1k their summary: going to Los Angeles was a dream, and you were finally achieving it. It’s like a dream come true, going to Los Angeles and your boyfriend tagging along? What could go wrong?

-> my review: OKAY WAIT THIS IS THE FIRST ZOMBIE AU IVE EVER READ. like EVER. AND WHAT I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO HURT THIS MUCH. i- the ending- PLEASE I- i dont even know what to say. how COULD YOU.

now arriving at... 3:38 am from @arquitecturadelanada​​

pairing: zuko x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 1.1k their summary: As sokka’s best man zuko has to write a heartfelt speech for the wedding day, the only issue? he doesn’t believe in love, but maybe his roommate can change his perception on the matter.

-> my review: so youre saying this whole time youve been supporting my writing when YOU WRITE BETTER THAN I DO?? ugh you’re so talented this isn’t funny, and this fic ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BECOME AN ATLA BLOG AGAIN BAHHA- “he noticed he was considerably less stressed just by hearing his roommate’s voice” IM GONNA CRY​​

last stop... “what are the odds” from @hikariakaashi​ 

pairing: kuroo x fem!reader genre: roommates au, i would say fluff! warnings: none! word count: 3.2k their summary: it was an act of desperation, to say the least, downloading the app lev recommended for him. but he was in dire need of a wedding date. so when kuroo opened up the brightly colored app titled rent a girlfriend, he knew he was in for an interesting evening.

-> my review: so uh 1) i remember writing a review for this and i have no idea where it went IM SO SORRY DSKJFJ and 2) i would do anything for kuroo to be my bf even if it was just my job 😩😩 and 3) um ??? YOURE SO TALENTED?? MISS MA’AM??

now arriving at... london, england!

-> breakup fic time </3 you can make it an angsty breakup, or a fluffy exes to lovers!

first stop... “i love(d) you”- @floralkawa​

pairing: tsukishima x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 300 their summary: one where tsukishima never showed his love. making it onesided, leading poor f/n on in a bitter relationship. of course, no one can handle it forever, can they ?

-> my review: this is the reason why i dont like angst. i felt this IN MY HEART, OKAY? NOELLE YOU LIED & SAID YOU COULDN’T WRITE FEELINGS. i hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT. but ugh youre talented enough to pull anything off and your angst is PROBABLY the only ones ill read willingly :( 

next stop... “i should have seen the signs”- @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: angst! warnings: none! word count: 2k their summary: going to the city of love and london was supposed to be an exhilarating vacation after a long week of exams. as it seems, love is fake and so is toru oikawa.

-> my review: um. this kinda hurted me tho. how am i even allowed to be friends with you like ?? miss ma’am? YOURE SO TALENTED??? i hate angst and ill say it again: I HATE ANGST. IT HURTS IT HUUUURRTSS. OIKAWA MY BABY WOULD NEVER DO THAT BUT HE DID. I CANSTEALK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS 

now arriving at... berlin, germany!

first stop... “Spring Chills”- @wesokkasimp

pairing: oikawa x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: none! word count: 447 their summary: you and Oikawa go for a walk on a chilly spring day. beware: banter ahead

-> my review: 😐😑😐 my heart wasn’t prepared for this. AND!! I BET Y/N LOOKED GREAT IN THAT TANK TOP; OIKAWA BETTER HAVE GIVEN HIS JACKET TO HER AFTERWARDS. jacket + tank top = cute outfit smh

next up... “warm and fuzzy”- @oikawaplssteponme​

pairing: kuroo x reader! genre:  fluff, a hint of angst, childhood friends to lovers, ‘boy next door’ warnings: one swear word, kuroo calls the reader ‘pretty’ however no gender pronouns are used, mini make out word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: "The lights in your room were dim. Their golden-yellow tone shone above you, though you paid little attention to what was going on inside your room. You were much more interested in what was happening outside.”

-> my review: wait this actually reminds me of me and my front door neighbor GOODBYE AKLSJDF I MISS HIM :( ANYWAYS BAHHAHA- see you never miss 😐 i think awkward tetsu is underrated BYEALKSF THIS WAS SO CUTE I CANTASEKL

last stop... “ice cold”- @kyotarou​

pairing: tsukishima x reader genre:  fluff! warnings: bit of fanon tsukki, mutual pining, smidge of angst, fluff word count: 700+ their summary: n/a but a quote: “Asshole was the best word to describe Tsukishima Kei. He was an asshole to his peers, and it didn’t change towards you, his best friend.”

-> my review: mY TSUKISHIMA HEART OMG- okay OKAY I THOUGHT I GREW OUT OF MY LOVE FOR HIM BUT ITS ALL COMING BACK ASLKJFDL- oh to share a jacket and be vulnerable with tsukishima ✋😩 once again bestie youre so talented it isnt funny

now arriving at... bilbao, spain!

our only stop in this city... "break-in”- @kohi-zeri​​

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre:  fluff!! warnings: mentions of food and common illnesses, use of “darling” and “brat” word count: 1.4k their summary: n/a but a quote: “there’s something so… infuriating about having a migraine. especially when it’s uncalled for.”

-> my review: i cant express to you how much i love sickfics. like JLSDFLJKFSALJ SADFL I CANT- ALSO I READ THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN I HAD THE WORST HEADACHE SO WHENEVER MY HEAD HURTS I COME REREAD THIS BAHAHHA-

here’s what some of our passengers are saying...

one passenger says “Wait. Stand right there, I want to take a picture of you.”

“pretty petals, pretty pictures”- @shxyo-sho​​​

pairing: iwazumi x reader! genre: fluff, mutual pining, just two best friends crushing on each other warnings: none! word count: 590 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: repeat after me: kiyoko is a queen. and YOU DO HER JUSTICE I ASFDLKJ PLEASE- in all honesty i would be blushing if kiyoko said a word to me too- y/n you arent alone ✋😩

another passenger asks “Why aren’t you asleep?”

"night owl”- @atlabeth​​​​

pairing: sokka x reader! genre: fluff! warnings: stress over school and one (1) curse, but other than that it’s pure fluff word count: 907 their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.

-> my review: alright this isnt fair where is my irl sokka 😐 YOURE BRINGING ME BACK INTO MY ATLA DAYSDF LKSJA- not complaining tho I LOVE SOKKA SO MUCH. and “But for a “fairly smart person”, you made a lot of bad decisions.” THATS TOO RELATABLE STOP IT RIGHT NOW SFKDJK

HEHEHEHEH THANK YOU AGAIN!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GOOD BYE

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Stubborn

Warning: TW: Dark themes, Yandere, kidnapping, slight abuse (if you squint) Word count: 2,5k   Summary: Bakugo had always thought he needed someone stubborn by his side, so why isn’t he happy when he finds just that in his new girlfriend? It doesn’t take long until he realizes that stubborn is never what he wanted. No. It’s obidient. And as destiny will have it, you, his best childhood friend, tend to be just that Pairing: Yandere!Bakugo x Batfam

A/N: So I have no reason to write this, but I had this small scene in my head and BAM! this existed. And why not share it, amiright? I’ll also post a request later today or tomorrow, but I just wanted to get this out there. Hope you enjoy 

Bakugo had always thought he needed someone stubborn by his side. Someone who stood up for themselves and wouldn’t just take his shit as some other extras would. In his mind, it was a logical assumption. He was well aware that he was a (quite literal) hot-head. He tended to let his aggression get the best of him and, even though that calmed down the older he got, it was still an established fact in his life as a pro-hero. That was why he agreed to go out with her. She was, admittedly, attractive. She wouldn’t really be called pretty, but definitely hot. A slender body with curves in all the right places and long, flawless pink hair that ended just over her waist, lashes that when battered could get her just about everywhere and everything. It also very much helped that she was well aware of her good looks. She never wore anything borderline inappropriate or skimpy, but she took care of the fact that her clothes were bringing out her features and would give her other advantages, like the hells she wore that made her already rather tall form stand even taller at about 5’6 feet. Even though that still wasn’t exceptionally high, she still liked to tower over everyone she could tower over. She and Bakugo were both masters of intimidating, even if they used very different methods. Trat wasn’t the only thing that made them alike, she also had quite the temper, something that had to be reckoned with when meeting with her, but she wasn’t as much aggressive as she was stubborn and headstrong. She was just what Bakugo needed. So, when he had tried to save her from getting robbed while he was on patrol and she just scoffed and kicked the robber so hard in a place that the sun won’t shine at, calmly taking her purse back and acting as if nothing happened, he was somewhat impressed. And when she touched his arm and invited him inside he didn’t say no. After that she was a part of his life, quickly filling the empty spot of his girlfriend. And a month or two everything was nice, he enjoyed the romantic and sexual attention that she gave him and he found himself entranced by the way she would talk back to him when she didn’t like something. He even liked her enough to introduce her to the most important people that he had in his life. His best friends. After graduating and finally fulfilling his dream of being a pro-hero he had managed to keep in more-or-less close contact with his old classmates, but he and his squad were almost as close as ever, if not more. They met up about twice a month in the complete group and individual pairs whenever they felt like it, but it was safe to say that the group of friends had stayed the same way they always have been, just with the difference that they were now of legal age to drink. So - of course - the next time they met up, this time with the additional plus one on Bakugo’s side, they met at a bar that was conveniently placed between all of their homes. Because he was somewhat nervous, even though he wouldn’t admit it if you held a gun to his head, Bakugo decided to come ten minutes earlier than the time they had agreed to meet up and ordered drinks for him and his girlfriend. After that, the others slowly joined, first was Sero, then Kirishima, Ashido and Kaminari, but one person stayed missing from the group. Bakugo wanted to ask where you were staying and why you took so long, but when all the attention turned on him and his new relationship the question was lost in the void of his mind. Especially considering that only ten minutes after, the original excitement about meeting Bakugos girlfriend gone for the group, even though they were still milking her with questions, you came in with a small smile on your face like you weren’t even realizing you were late and joined them. Your hot-headed best friend asked you what had taken you so long after you had introduced yourself to the new person in the group and congratulated them on getting together, but you had just shrugged it off as no big deal. Bakugo forgot about it.

Bakugo had always thought he needed someone stubborn by his side, but Bakugo soon realized that that assumption was wrong. All the things he thought would be great about someone as headstrong as he was turned out to be annoyances. The things that he liked about her in the first months soon turned into things he hated with a burning passion. Just once he wanted her to shut up and actually listen to him. It started with small things. Like when he told her that he didn’t want to go out after a particularly rough day at work and she just whined and complained until he had enough and went along, or that one time when the two of them had a normal conversation about a type of food and she completely refused to accept a fact that he told her (and even, later on, found references for) - it wasn’t even like it was something that was against her or her believes, just something she had assumed wrong and still refused to back down about. Just so that she could come out of the fight as the winning party. And it just continued and got more and more, every little thing became a full-blown fight and she seemingly made it her personal mission to disobey and work against him as much as she could. He quickly figured out that you can’t fight fire with fire, that having a stubborn person like himself constantly clash with someone so similar was bound to fail and he hadn’t thought his original belief through. He even talked about it with you and Kirishima, debatably the closest of friends he had, and while you were as shy and quiet as you had been ever since going to school with him and Midoriya, both you and Kirishima agreed that it would be the best for everyone involved if you’d just break things off with her. With that the decision was basically set in stone, the only thing left was actually acting on the words so Bakugo spent the whole way home thinking about how he’d say it, what he’d do. But his mind wasn’t completely on track. Because besides the possible breaking-offs that he went through he also found himself thinking about who would fit better to him and while walking home surrounded by the lights of the city it was like he had an Enlightenment. He never needed someone stubborn, no, he needed someone obedient. Someone who wouldn’t fight him on his every word and would let him protect and care for them. That thought was the beginning of the end. When he finally comes home he’s lucky that he hadn’t yet asked her or had been asked by her if they could move together, but that happiness was quickly ruined by the load of missed calls and messages that she had left him. Exhausted and longing for someone he wasn’t even sure existed he went to bed and decided he’d deal with his little problem the day after. When he left work the next day during his break to catch some air and meet up with you, who worked not too far away in you own little pro-hero themed bakery, the thoughts of the before standing evening were still heavy in his mind, especially his newfound clearance on just what qualities his partner actually had to have. The smell of baked bread and sweets, the smell that somehow had surrounded you ever since you had been a child who played with him and Midoryia on the playground, greeted him in a wave of warm air when she opened the door and the familiar ring of the small bell hanging over it filled his ears. A sense of content filled him that he only had with you. The same content was the reason that you were still friends in the first place. Back when it was still him, Izuku and you, he always felt a bit jealous about how much more you were like Izuku, even though you weren’t quite as curious or cheery as he was, you were still a happy, calm kid with a tendency to stay on the more quiet side. So naturally, people would assume that after Bakugo developed his quirk - and Izuku didn’t, starting a long cycle of bullying and maybe even abuse from the blond hot-head - you would’ve stayed with the little green bean, and so did Bakugo. But he didn’t want that. He liked the feeling he had when he hung out with you and he was different with you, less angry and more tolerable. So he became almost possessive and incredibly jealous when it concerned you. He made sure that you stayed his friend, but - to come to his defence a little bit - he still “let” you be friends with Izuku, just as long as he still got the majority of your attention and love. As you grew up he lost most of that behaviour and exchanged it for a normal level of friendly protectiveness, enough that he made sure that you were okay and texted you almost every day while he was at school, but not as much that you couldn’t have other friends or your own life. Bakugo was especially happy when he introduced you to his other friends the first time and, even though your and their personalities practically crashed against each other, you bonded incredibly fast and became a member of his little squad. Something about these memories made his mind a little bit fuzzy, but everything came to a sudden halt when he heard an all too familiar - at this point almost dreaded - laugh. He felt like he had whiplash at the speed at which his head snapped to the side and he caught sight of his hopefully soon ex-girlfriend standing at the counter in front of a very-clearly confused looking you. His wish to have his peace from her at least until the evening burst into a thousand little bubbles and he found himself confronted by the inevitable. Bakugo planned to take her out of the bakery as to not cause a scene and explain to her that it was over, but everything changed when he heard a comment she made directed towards you before she even knew he was there. It was said in a nice voice, but with a venomous undertone, a comment about how weird it was that a Pro-Hero like Bakugo, someone so great and influential, was spending any time with a push-over like you. Something inside him snapped and he had to admit that his now definitely ex-girlfriends shoulder most likely didn’t stay unharmed at how hard he tugged at it to turn her around, not to mention the added pops of explosions that he couldn’t - and just maybe didn’t want to - hold back. He ended things right there and then, leaving her running out of the bakery crying and you looking at him shocked. Bakugo almost expected you to have a go at him about how horrible he behaved and about how mean he was, but you said nothing. Well, not nothing, no, you did say something. You thanked him - in a rather timid voice - for defending you. It was at this moment Bakugo realized what had always been before him.

Bakugo had always thought he needed someone stubborn by his side, but he found himself proven wrong when he suddenly saw that the person he needed was you. His quiet, shy, obedient best friend. No, you were always more than that and he had just never realized it. You were his soulmate. Yes, why else did you fit together to perfection in his mind? Not to mention that you definitely needed him. Your quirk wasn’t anything that could be used in a fight - not that he wanted you anywhere near a fight anyways - and you tended to let people walk and talk over you (which admittedly is somewhat his fault too, since he tended to walk and talk over you quite a lot in your life) so you needed someone to protect and care for you, right? Someone like him. When he looked at you from then on he felt something he had never, ever, felt before. Desperation, almost a need, to have you with him, no, even more: To have you. At first, he realized that what he was thinking wasn’t completely right, that all these thoughts about scooping you up and bringing you away, somewhere no-one else could get to, weren’t normal. But even as he fell back into a similar behaviour pattern of possessiveness, jealousness and obsessiveness that he had already shown in his childhood you never complained, never drew back from him. So clearly, you must love him too right? You must want him to be with you, to take you away. After that it’s only a question of time until kidnapping you - or saving you as he sees it - becomes a completely rational thing for Bakugo to do. He’ll buy a house not too far away from the city so that he could still be at work on time, but in a neighbourhood where you weren’t in any danger and he made it completely escape-proof. He told himself that it was to keep any intruders out, but really even he knew that it was to keep you in. He couldn’t even bear the thought of not seeing you for a day at this point. He’ll take you when you least expect it and he’ll make sure that no-one ever finds out that he was the one who took you. He’ll even lead the investigations and join the search parties that he and his friends would surely organise, but nothing would ever come from it. At least not until you finally realized that he hadn’t lost his mind, that you were meant for him, and accepted your spot at his side. Then he’d miraculously find a long-forgotten hint that would lead him right to were you were being kept and he’d accept you into his house after your apartment and bakery have long been sold to someone else and it wouldn’t be too unbelievable that you just happened to fall in love with him then, right? Of course, he knew it would take a while until that could happen, he knew that it must be hard for you to come to terms with just how much the two of you loved each other and - even though he’d rather have you already back to your calm, happy, obedient self - he was willing to live through your little tantrums and moods until you finally settled down with him. It was bound to happen sooner or later…

Bakugo had never needed someone stubborn by his side, he now knows, he had needed you.

[spield]

the sun and the moons - decades after

Notes: This is probably (most likely) isn’t what people expect when they asked for a suns and the moons sequel/follow-up for the infinite universes anthology. But this has been in my drafts ever since Naruto got sick in the first one.  Summary: Sakura’s life with the Uchiha family is a storied one, but we must remember that she loved Naruto first, as he had loved her. And in his deathbed, he requests to see her. 

Long, long after, Naruto’s the one who departs the world of the living first.

As Sakura steps into the main house of the Senju, she tries to recall a time passed. The old house remains unchanged, its floors polished clean even as grief seeps into its planks, leaking from the room where Naruto’s life force flickers.

Who would’ve thought they’d get here?

Here, with Sakura, old, with her bones creaking and eyes milky green? Her back bent but not wavering, covered by the crest of this house’s old rival?

At a distance, she hears the sobs of little ones, mourning. Mourning, in a time of peace. That alone is a privilege, she thinks, one that she and Naruto paid - kicked, fought, and broke their hearts- for. And will pay again and again if asked.

“Sakura-chan.”

Hinata’s soft voice rings true like bells as she steps out of her husband’s room. She, too, is older. Still beautiful, with her fading raven hair and kind eyes. At her side is a cane, she’s never fully recovered from her last childbirth no matter how hard Sakura tried.

Here, away from the sun and the moon, only the lanterns paint and touch the two women of Naruto’s life. From the East, his childhood love stands and in the West, his wife of six decades.

When Hinata wrote Sakura, saying that Naruto asks of her, she almost said no, knowing the pain the woman must be in learning that in her husband’s time of death - he asks for another?

What of their years together? What of their children?

But, oh, the rose-tinted glasses of an old loss can blind even the most reverent of men. And so, Sakura came. (because, she also knows the desire, the desperation, to give someone she loves everything on their death bed — Itachi asked for an illusion, Madara asked for a goodbye— she can’t bear the thought of wondering what Shisui and Sasuke will ask of her. Her soul might just fly if they ever leave her. Her moons, her loves.)

Hinata steps aside and her voice breaks, “He asks for you.”

When Sakura thought about death in her younger years, she always envisioned a fall in battle. It was a time of war, that is to say, it was also a time of grandeur, bravery, and spinning of legends. She always thought it’d be with Naruto.

He and her, protecting the Senju down to their very last breath.

In these thoughts, Naruto always goes last. Seeing Sakura to her crossing, arms around her broken body, bright blue eyes against the blue, blue sky. His smile, strained, promising to follow soon after.

It’s morbid, but it’s all the romanticism they allowed themselves then.

But then, here they are.

The only thing that remains true from those thoughts are Naruto’s eyes, still. Blue, blue as the oceans and as bright as his heart. His sun-lit hair is pale against his pillows, and yet, so, so, bright still.

“Sakura-chan,” he calls, squinting in her direction.

Across him, Sakura steps closer, her feet not as light and quick as in their youth. Much of it spent chasing children and grandchildren she never thought she’d have.

Soon, she reaches his side and takes his withered hand. “Hello, Naruto.”

Naruto smiles, deep lines of grief and happiness etched on his face and for a moment, they are young again. All the pain and responsibilities off their backs like water against a duck’s. “How are you?”

It startles a laugh from Sakura, the very unimportant question of her well-being. “Old. Old and tired,” she laughs, “Why make me take this trip, you idiot.”

The question hangs like Hinata’s cloaked chakra outside the paper thin walls. Away, but not quite. Not even the most selfless of love can drag her away from this. Not even when it hurts.

“I can’t leave without saying goodbye,” Naruto whispers, “And we have so many stories we haven’t told.”

This, this is not a last confession. Nor is it a time for whispered regrets. In the light of the candles understands what this is. A conversation, a goodbye. A last catch-up with a dear friend, and this makes emotion ball up in her throat that all she could do is nod. 

For hours, she makes herself comfortable on a cushion beside her old love’s bed and they talk. 

They talk not of their past together, but of the lives they built apart. They skip the politics, the clans, the responsibilities, and speak of things they would’ve spoke of if they’d remained close. 

Naruto confesses how he fell in love with is wife - “by the moon, Naruto, really?” “Hinata thought it was romantic!” - and he asks how she fell in love with hers - “fire-blown glass? that’s... romantic, I guess?” “oh, shut up, Naruto, Sasuke worked hard on it.” “yeah, sure, can’t imagine him blowing up smoke up--” - and so much more. 

Sakura could feel the bijuu’s chakra leaking out of Naruto, volatile and poisonous, as the night deepens. But Naruto pushes it back with a wince, buying himself more time. He turns incredibly cheeky as the candles burn through. 

“You’re daughter, Sarada...”

Sakura rolls her eyes, “Yes, what about my lovely daughter?”

Naruto smiles, eyes warmed with fondness. “Boruto’s fond of her. Seems like an Uzumaki trait, huh?” 

Something rattles in Sakura’s lungs as she laughs, chuckles at the image painted by her old friend. 

Boruto might be his father’s carbon copy, but he doesn’t have his flair for honest, earnest conversations. He might have a great deal of a harder time winning her daughter’s heart, but he could - if Sakura’s right about Sarada’s eyes. 

(now, if only her husbands will stop glaring at the poor boy...)

“So it seems.” 

Naruto sighs, sinks back to his pillows with a pondering smiles. His voice is raspy from use, quality brittle, the exhaustion catching up to him. “Who would’ve thought?”

Beside him, on his bedside table is a photo of his family. He and Hinata only had two, despite of trying for more. Boruto, with his eyes as blue as his father’s and hair as gold as the sun, and Himawari, with her mother’s hair and her mother’s eyes with a hurricane for a heart. 

In another life, they could’ve been hers. Theirs. 

But as Sakura holds his hand, eyes tracing the lines on his face, she finds not an ounce of regret. 

Good. Because it has no place here. No space for if’s and if only’s, or promises for a second life. No. They won’t insult themselves and the people they love for it. 

Finally, as she feels his control waver, and eyes wandering, she lets go, and stands, her old bones creaking audibly.  

“Were you happy?” Naruto asks, old, wiser, and still so, so kind. 

Sakura smiles, “Were you?”

Naruto falls back to his pillows with a smile, his eyes flickering to the door where Hinata’s shadow stands unwavering, “I am.”

This time, when Sakura walks out of the door, she doesn’t weep. 

Hinata looks up at the opening of the shoji door, protest ready to spill from her lips. The jutsu wavers, and her ears ring with the songs of cicadas. She didn’t want to intrude, perhaps, but it’s more of she didn’t want to hear. 

Sakura stands beside her kneeling figure and sighs, sinking to her knees. 

The two hold hands in solidarity as they feel the man they love, albeit in different ways, and whispers words of gratitude. Sakura, for letting her see him again, and Hinata for granting him this wish. 

But, as Sakura stands up and pushes away Hinata’s surprisingly strong hands that beg for her to stay with her husband, she hopes that the matriarch understands and remembers that at the end it is this: 

Sakura may be Naruto’s first love, maybe his greatest love, but it wasn’t her he spent his life with.

It was her, Hinata, who spent decades by his side, ruling the clan with dignity and grace. It was Hinata who saw him transformed into a boy-leader into a man, it was Hinata who bore him children, who love him—

It was Hinata who stayed.

It was Hinata he built a life with.

At the end of all things, it’s her he loved the longest and it’s her he wants on his deathbed.

Sakura understands that, and with the way flowers bloom on her fellow kunoichi’s cheeks as she enters her husband’s room again, Hinata also do. 

“Are you ready to go?”, her youngest husband asks when she steps out of the gates. Behind him, Shisui waits in a carriage, their third son sitting in front.

With the bright lights of the Senju compound behind her, Sakura nods and takes Sasuke’s hand, “Yes. Let’s go home.”

End Notes: Hearts are golden but reblogs and comments will be much more appreciated! 

[longinglook]

I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw. 

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet. 

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing. 

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

[unmaskedagain]

Demon princess

Yesterday someone asked me what anime show I liked. And it got me to realizing that while I like quite a few anime shows; I never did a crossover for with Ladybug. So I got thinking which anime I should use. My first instinct was Sailor Moon; first anime I ever loved. Hell first show I ever loved, I started watching it when I was four-years-old (I have older sisters). Then I briefly considered Death Note. Maybe a pairing with Marinette/light. It didn’t work out my head. Finally it hit me… And then it completely got away from me. Reminding me why I don’t fuck with anime when it comes to fan fiction. Not my best work but its was a neat idea.

             When her mom told her that her grandfather and her great uncle was coming to town; Marinette panicked. In fact, she had a full blown panic attack. There was no way she was going to get out of this.

           Her mother didn’t speak too much to her father. They had a complicated relationship. Sabine had grown up in China with her mother, while her father resided near Japan, having been born and raised there, in a small country he ruled as king. Only demons resided there.

He had been a cold, stoic man with little interests in the affairs of humans. He certainly didn’t understand why his beloved daughter chose to be around them. However, he had been outright furious when he discovered Sabine had eloped with one and ran off to France. They didn’t speak for almost a decade.

           The silence was only broken when Sabine told her Uncle that she was expecting a child. And half-human or not, Sesshōmaru would be there to welcome his grandchild into the pack. Inuyasha had tagged along to keep an eye on his older brother. Though the older Inu Daiyōkai may have become more tolerable of humans but that didn’t mean he didn’t still have few nasty streaks. Honestly, Inuyasha didn’t trust his brother not to just slaughter Tom Dupain as soon as he met him. The demon lord turned King would have to deal with the unfortunate tales of the Princess who ran off with the Baker; as if it was some foolish romantic tale.

           Somehow, Sesshōmaru remained perfectly polite if more than just a bit standoffish. He outright glared at times. However, he remained in France for months while he waited for his grandchild to be born. Subtly hinting to his daughter, that it would be better to raise the pup among their own kind.

           Then little Marinette Kagura Dupain-Cheng with blue locks, slanted bluer eyes, pointed ears, two magenta stripes on each cheek, and a magenta stripe on each eyelid, and a purple crescent moon on her forehead identical to the one her grandfather had. The baby girl was clearly a demon, a half-demon, but a demon nonetheless.

           The moment Sesshōmaru held his grandchild, he was hers, “She is strong, and will only grow more powerful,” He told his exhausted offspring. “You did well daughter.”

“It takes two to tango,” Tom laughed.

           Inuyasha just shook his head, “You’re not dead. Don’t push this.”

           Over the next few years, Marinette spent most of her childhood split between her parents’ and her grandfather’s palace. Thanks to Shippo’s magic, it was only a portal away. She spent a lot of her summers there too. It was different when Marinette stayed with her Grandfather. She was different.

           For starters, she was a princess and was expected to behave like one. She was a daiyōkai and was expected to act like; keep her emotions controlled and her word precise. When she was five-years-old, her grandfather presented her with two swords made from two of his fangs as a birthday present because, yeah, that was a thing demons did. One sword healed, the other destroyed. Though both swords were the same size; sword that destroyed had been too heavy for her to properly wield. She had to work for years to properly know how to use it. It was powerful and could slaughter a dozen foes with a swing. The sword that healed had seemed rather useless in comparison. It took her years to understand it was, by its very nature, the more powerful of the two.

           When she wasn’t training, she was learning to rule. Demons lived a long life but things happened. It was best to be prepared.

           It was at her Uncle’s insistence that Marinette, just recently turned six, be introduced to playmates of her own age. That was when Marinette learned something; everyone in the palace was employed by her grandfather. In addition, they were all lower demons subject to his rule and of any royal standing.

           The demons with royal standing, children who Inuyasha said were Marinette’s equals, to which Sesshomaru pointed out his granddaughter had to equal, behaved different.

           The kids were haughty, arrogant, and sometimes mean for the sake of being mean to anyone of lesser standing in the demon world.

           The first was the son of Prince Koga, a wolf demon and a minor prince who kept his title because of tradition alone; his name was Hyōga. Prince Hyōga, was older than Marinette by a year, with auburn hair and red eyes, and had eyed the smaller girl with interest.

“Heard your father’s a human,” He said the word as if it taste foul on his tongue.

           In the background, Koga face palmed. In youngest son would get their entire pack killed. Inuyasha glared at his old friend; plotting his death.

“Yes,” Marinette said. “I heard you were name after a giant moth.”

           Hyōga sputtered, “What do you know? You’re just a girl!”

“Don’t make me the bug spray.”

           It was the start of a rather tense friendship; similar to the one Koga and Inuyasha had centuries ago.

           The second was a dragon demon named Kagami; an emotionless girl whose bloodline once rivaled Marinette’s. Marinette had tried to be nice, fearing her uncle world bring the wolf prince back, but Kagami didn’t warm up to her attempts. Finally, Marinette noticed Kagami attention to Marinette’s sword. So she led the other girl to training yard, threw her sword, and said, “I win, we have tea-party. You win, I’ll show you grandfather’s war room.” Then the battle was on. Every time, Kagami would visit, they’d have another duel to see what they did for the day. Both families were pleased at this.

           The next was an ice demon from England; a prissy, blond, name Magnolia who was two years older and, who Marinette knew, only tolerated Marinette’s unladylike behavior because she was a princess.

Then there was the playmate that actually required Marinette to leave the palace and venture to Japan. This meant that she had to hide her demon features like she did when she was in public in Paris.

The boy’s name was Izumo, a decedent of Sango, a legendary demon slayer and Inuyasha’s friend. He was very serious, older than Marinette by four years, and seemed to take it as a personal insult a six-year-old, even a demon one, could best him in a fight. Marinette just wondered exactly what her uncle thought “close in age” meant.

However, her favorite playmates turned out to be Shippo’s grandchildren; both half-human. They both lived in France. One was her age, named Juleka, and the other an older boy named Luka.

As Marinette got older and her visits to her grandfather’s decreased to twice a month during the school year and every summer. Her grandfather was under the belief that Marinette went to a school with other demons, and while technically that was true; there were almost two dozen others demons, it was primarily a human school. Strike one. Her grandfather would only be mildly annoyed.

Kwami and the miraculous, both banned from her grandfather’s kingdom, was active in Paris. The banning of the little gods happened after the destruction of the greatest creation Shikon no Tama. A little marble that nearly ended the world and caused great pain for Inuyasha and his friends for years. After they left, no one knew what had happened to Kwami. As long as they never made another jewel, no one wanted to know.

Except they did make another jewel; earrings, a ring, a bangle, a hair comb, a broach, and so many different objects. Two of which had the power that rival the form Shikon Jewel.

Marinette never told her grandfather that the Kwami and resurfaced and apparently didn’t learn their lesson the first time around. Strike two. Her grandfather just went from annoyed to beyond angry.

Finally, Marinette decided to follow in her Uncle’s footsteps, band together a ragtag group, to stop a dark villain hell-bent on united the two most power Miraculous for gods’ know what reason. And she actively dresses up as superhero to defend the lives of humans. It was why she always wore her hair down around the older demons. Strike Three. Grandfather’s snarly mad with blood red eyes, ready to kill. And Marinette? Marinette is so out its not even funny.

When Sesshōmaru arrived in Paris, Inuyasha on his right, he immediately sensed great power. An ancient power. When he arrived at the bakery, his daughter and granddaughter and the man they lived with (“Oh for hell’s sake, His name is Tom,” Inuyasha snapped. “Sabine’s husband. Marinette’s father.”), he raised an eyebrow at the power radiating from the place, stalked right passed his the three, up to his granddaughter’s room, if it could be called that. Marinette right on his tail.

The room looked normal at first, if far too small. However, it took the demon king five seconds to locate the source of power.

He held up the squirming Kwami between his claws, “Explain, now!” Sesshomaru ordered. His eyes flashed red.

Inuyasha looked at the red creature, Tikki, he remembered was the goddess of creation’s name. His claws extended at the memory of all he had been put through and all he had lost because Plagg and Tikki decided to create something that should’ve never existed in the first place.

Sabine and Tom looked confused. Sabine knew what the creature was, had seen pictures of it, but it was centuries before her time. She always assumed the power that radiated came from Marinette.

Marinette glanced down for a moment before steeling herself, and looking up at her grandfather with a proud raised head. She tucked her hair behind her ear and revealed her jewelry.

All hell broke loose.

“AGAIN!” Inuyasha roared, going full demon mode.

“My grandchild,” Sesshomaru snarled at the being, who looked rather petulant, “You dare!”

           Inuyasha’s fist went through a wall, “You don’t learn your lessons well, do ya?” He asked Tikki.

“The world needs heroes,” Tikki crossed her arms.

           Marinette stepped forward, “It was my choice. There’s a villain that holds another jewel, he must be stopped before he destroys us all.”

“Another Naruku,” Sesshomaru hissed.

“No,” Marinette denied. “He’s human. I fought him before. I know that much. The miraculous hide his overall scent but he bleeds like anyone else. And his is human.”

           Inuyasha turned red eyes to his niece, “And then this will be quick.”

[rokutouxei]

so, baby, tonight just be the death of me

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark

theodorus van gogh / mc | E | 4616 | [ao3]

warning/tags: creepy guy behavior, jealousy, outdoor sex, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, exhibitionism, vampire bite, multiple orgasms, using the lord’s name in vain, and dom behavior. (yes, all of that.)

You jolt. “Wait, what? On the first of May?”

“Yes, seven at night. In the Marquis’ mansion, a big party, several potential clients, the paintings on display,” Theo confirms, checking his notebook. He turns to look up at you. “Why? Did you have something planned? I can go alone.”

You frown. Of course you did! “No, I want to go with you. It’s just—it’s your birthday night, and I thought we could spend some time together.”

“If you go, we can,” he says, a little too matter-of-factly that you flinch.

“Yeah, we will, but we’ll be doing work.” He reaches out to put a hand on your shoulder, and you relax. A little. “I’m just a little disappointed.”

“We can always celebrate afterwards,” Theo says. His hand moves to cup your cheek, and you lean against his touch. “Besides, what matters is that I’m with you. Late or early, it doesn’t make much difference to me.”

Your heart is warm at how he poured his heart out, but you still pout. “It does to me though.”

“Then,” Theo begins, the gears in his mind working, knowing exactly what he needed to do to raise your spirits even a little—“I’m sure you can think of one or two things that’ll make that birthday night interesting, work aside.”

You raise your eyebrow, but grin back when you see him smirking. “Well, if that’s what you want.”

-

Oh, his big fat mouth. Theo cannot say it’s not his fault when it definitely is. He should have known what was coming when he challenged you.

Theo has on a sleek black suit, one step more formal than his usual work clothes. He’d asked you to dress extra nicely, but decided not to interfere with your fashion choices for the night—you’d spent enough time in this era to figure out which both flattered you and matched the tastes of the current age. But he hadn’t expected you to push those boundaries.

You walk down the hallway in a beautiful deep blue gown that skimmed your curves so deliciously. Beautiful intricate blue lace lined along the front. There were even jewels sewn onto the fabric. There’s a beautiful gradient to deep purple at the bottom. It’s long enough for decency, but has a slit high enough that your ankles peep discreetly with every step. It has a beautiful Grecian neckline too, revealing your shoulders, your collarbones—Theo holds in a breath at the thought of leaving very visible marks on them before you even get to the ball. He’s a little thankful for the conservative front of the dress, because even through the fabric, he can nearly feel the plush of your breasts, pushed up wonderfully by your corset.

Oh, Theo can already see all the men he’ll have to glare off of you.

The words slip out of his mouth before he can stop it, something that only happens when he’s already on the edge of your teasing. A bad sign for him, you think to yourself. “You look enticing.”

You grin. “A hundred years into the future this’ll be tighter and have a slit all the way up my thigh.”

Theo licks his lips before he takes your arm in his. “I can’t wait to get there, then.”

-

The thing is, Theo doesn’t need that thigh-high slit to feel hot for you.

It’s the little things—if he were to be honest with you. The way you bite your lower lip when someone says something flattering about you. The way you hide your face with your hands when you’re embarrassed: like you’re not even trying, you little tease. The little squeeze you make against the firm muscle of his forearm when you cling to him. The nearly-imperceptible shiver that runs up your spine when he pulls you close to him defensively. Possessively.

Tonight, it’s all of the above. But not at him.

The host of the party, the Marquis, was one of high social status—he knew lots of big-shot names of not only rich generals and officials but also philanthropists, with much money to spend and eyes for art. Not great eyes, Theo would argue, but definitely a taste for it that he could use to further his agenda with his artists. This made the party very, very important to attend. The both of you had one goal: to make important, useful connections. To convince them, to persuade them, to get them to listen and to believe in this new dawn of art that Theo dreams of seeing. The strategy was simple: charm as many prospective clients as possible, and, as much as possible, secure future meetings and deals.

Theo doesn’t like dealing with women clients, if he were to be honest. He prefers talking to the men because they usually talked straight business, and Theo—while he was good at it—doesn’t really enjoy the little banter the women liked to do around him, skirting around art, complimenting his looks, his attitude, his suit. But the women here know that he came with another woman, and to get you to convince them was a trickier card to play.

That left you to take care of the most important client of the night: the nephew of the great Marquis, Major General Lowell. Unwed, but rumored to have had many children out of wedlock, the Major General was famous for his, say, interest in women, particularly those half his age. And you were definitely at least half his age.

The two of you stand across the room from Theo, a distance away, champagne glasses in hand. Theo can’t hear what the Major General is talking about, but he’s talking animatedly at you. Probably bragging about the spoils of war. Theo can see that you’re hardly listening: just enough to keep conversation flowing. He watches you closely, the way you tip the champagne glass just to press teasingly on your lower lip, the touch of your shoulder against his to respond to a joke.

Anger begins to simmer underneath Theo until you turn to look at him, your eyes filled with heat.

Just for him.

“Sir Theodore,” one of the ladies around him say, calling his attention back. Countess Ysabella. She insisted that he call her Ivy, though, perhaps a nickname from childhood—an effort to create some semblance of familiarity. She’s well-known in events like these, a beauty, someone desirable in high society for her wealth and her smarts. Invested in both the arts and sciences. And in him as well. Boldly, she touches a hand to his chest to call his attention. “Were you listening?”

Theo feels your stare digging into the back of his neck. Well. Two can play at this game.

-

Work, you remind yourself, swirling the champagne in your glass. Work. But you can’t seem to focus. Major General Lowell is still talking non-stop into your ear about the glories of war: his fame, his wealth, his power; the bloody trenches, stepping over corpses—you were almost 100% sure he made up at least half of what he was telling, or had blown it up to a degree that was near unrecognizable. You take another sip of your champagne, turning your head toward Theo, who you’d much rather be with. He’s engaged in conversation with a wealthy-looking woman, in a half-slow dance, her hands on his shoulders, and maybe he’ll reach out and put his hand on—

“A fast drinker. You better take care of yourself, miss, wouldn’t want something to happen to you,” the Major General chides, sliding a hand over your waist. You feel the instinct to tense up, but remind yourself this is work, and relax into his arms.

You cock your head toward him, a teasing smile on your face. He’s too close for comfort, but you have to do it. “Oh, what’s a little liquor. Even a lady such as me is up for a little fun, just like you, sir.”

“You smart ones, so rare. Valuable little treasures. Makes you so much more worth it to find.” You want to gag a little. He releases you (you sigh in relief) just to move in front of you and press a kiss to your knuckles. “However did a beautiful lady such as you end up in this drab party all alone?”

Jackpot.

-

“Oh, I have a beautiful little manor. We can definitely host your exhibits there, if you’d like,” the Countess says. “I would want to see the pieces first, of course, as it is my residence, but oh, I have a ballroom. Of course there’s a ballroom, with beautiful sunlight in the afternoon. It would be a nice place to hold it in.”

“It would be an honor,” Theo says, as politely as he can muster, when really he just wants this to be over. The Countess is lovely, he can’t deny that—quick-witted, has an answer to his every quip, knows what questions to ask to keep the conversation going. That was exactly the problem. She was so good at keeping the conversation going, it wouldn’t end. He could probably get her to agree to host a hundred of his exhibits and she still will not stop trying to talk to him. Why did she have to be so good at this? He turns toward your direction in the ballroom, to find that you’re already pointing at the paintings on the wall. Your eyes sparkle with excitement now, when you talk about art, and Theo can see it. He can also see the Major General’s hand on your waist.

Then, bringing him back to reality, Countess Ysabella presses herself as flush as she can to him, forcing his hand on her hip. “But of course, it’s really still up to your approval, of course. You’re welcome to visit anytime. I’d love to have you over, a cup of tea, maybe dinner.”

Theo nods. “That would be great. I would have to bring my assistant with me, however. If you don’t mind.”

“An assistant!” she gasps. “Oh, to think you’d have another young man so enthusiastic and brilliant at the dealings of art with you. Lovely, just lovely. Bring him over, of course. I would love to hear his thoughts as well.”

Is she just so used to getting whoever she wants?

“A woman, Countess Ivy,” Theo corrects. She jumps at his use of her provided nickname, but also at the revelation. “My assistant is a woman.”

Her face instantly falls. She doesn’t do it quickly, as if she’s hesitating, but Theo feels her slowly distancing herself from him. “Is that so?” she murmurs, mouth a thin line. “Very well, that would be interesting. Still, bring her over. It’d be great to meet her, another woman in the arts. See what she’d made of, if you know what I mean.”

“Very well,” Theo says, bows as she lets go. “Looking forward to business with you, Countess.”

If only she knew she’d never match up to you.

-

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you sidle up next to Theo at your designated meeting spot with a smile on your face. Your eyes are a little hazy, perhaps from the alcohol. Theo puts on a frown. “Well?”

You raise a hand to reveal a business card between your fingers; then slide them to show you have two. “The Major General and his Lieutenant friend. They promised to buy, but they’d like to talk more about the pieces. You?”

Something flares in Theo, knowing it’s not just the pieces they want a bit of. But that’s for later. “The Countess agreed to hosting a show or two in her manor, but she gets to veto the pieces. Seems interested in art nouveau. We can handle that.”

“We can handle that,” you echo, tucking the business cards into his coat pocket, if an excuse to pull closer to him. “So, let’s get out of here?”

“Yes,” Theo says, breathy. “It’s my turn now.”

-

You expect Theo to hail a carriage as soon as you got out of the fancy mansion, but instead he asks if you’re up for a little walk. You think it’s a little weird—typically, after a night of “associating” with his female clients all he wants is to shut down and rest—but you humor him. The both of you walk down the street in companionable silence.

The streets of France at night is a sight you enjoy seeing. Cobblestone paths lit by orange lamplight, laughter and conversation and music coming out from bars and cafes still open for the night crowd. It must have rained a little, because the stone paths glimmered lightly in the dim light, making the city seem almost dream-like.

You’re just about to bring this up to Theo when you feel his strong grip around your wrist, and he pulls you into a back alley with what seems like all the restrained force he can muster. When he carries you up onto something—a stack of crates—you see his pupils are blown wide. His mouth is on you before you can even react.

The kiss is messy and rushed and searing: a mash of teeth and tongue. It’s like he’s trying to take back something that has been lost to him. Theo groans when you wind a hand into his brown hair; and he snarls when you tug on it. He bites your lower lip before his kisses begin their downward path, the line of your jaw, the column of your neck. When he pauses at the juncture of your shoulder and neck you feel his fangs graze the skin lightly; you moan when he refuses to bite.

“Feeling like admitting I’m a way better lover than Mister Major General?” he asks, forehead pressed against yours. Of course he is, you know that. He doesn’t have to ask. Hell, he probably knows that too. Why’s he even messing with you like this?

You decide to play with him too. “Hmm, can’t be sure yet. He seemed like someone good with his… gun.”

“I’ll show you something better than gun,” he growls. “I’m going to make you cum so hard you’ll regret making me jealous.”

He steals your lips for another burning kiss before he descends, hiding underneath the fluff of your long skirt. The moment he’s out of your sight, the situation finally sinks in: here you are, fucking in the back alley in the middle of a still-awake city! You turn your head both sides to check if anyone’s around, thankful to find both ends of the alley empty. Oh, but you remember that one side—that’s the street where Isaac and Napoleon go to teach the children some afternoons, and Isaac said that morning he was going to tutor some children at night with a girl named Aliza, because she could only go after work, and Napoleon had teased him for it, because—

“Hondje.” Theo’s voice snaps you back to the present. He’s rubbing circles along your inner thighs, and only then do you realize you were tense from all the worry of getting caught. Relax, you can nearly hear him say, as he presses a kiss on the inside of your calf, your thigh. Let go.

You hum in acknowledgement, taking a deep breath, and in a moment, Theo is on you.

You’re already damp where he touches you with his fingers, caressing the outer lips gently like prying open a flower. That slow, gentle torture he reserves from when he really wants to wreck you out of your mind. You buck against his hand and he only laughs, a deep sound coming from the bottom of his throat, as he traces his fang against your inner thigh. Two fingers press against your entrance but don’t enter, just circling. You shudder.

“Theo,” you beg, canting your hips towards his mouth. You try to keep your voice level, quiet enough to hide in this dark alley, but you’re not sure your best is soft enough. “God, just do something. Bite me, touch me, please—”

You feel his tongue graze against the soft bud of your clit and you gasp. His breath is hot and your body is on fire. You feel him smile against your folds before he drags his tongue over you, slowly, near-reverently, like doing this with you is holy. He slips his tongue inside of you like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever had. A low moan rolls out of you, your fingers bunching in the fabric of your skirt.

Theo’s already gotten the act of going down on you like an art. He knows your every weak spot, knows which strokes you like, which ones make you shake and shudder the most. He uses every bit of information to his advantage. He suckles on your clit until you’re shivering, your slick cold down your legs, then, still not satisfied, slips two of his fingers into you. You lift a hand to your mouth and bite, knowing if you don’t, you would be screaming. He pumps you slowly, fingers curling, trying to find that one spot that—

“Fuck!” The cry rolls out of your mouth when he hits it. Theo emerges from under your skirt, his hand still firmly between your legs. You try to turn away from him but the way he seeks your eyes is something you can’t resist. When you finally make eye contact with him he smirks, his sea-blue eyes darkening with hunger.

Theo moves closer to you, making sure to keep his hand on the right spot, and asks: “Think you can cum on my fingers alone?”

Your ragged breath almost prevents you from speaking, but you have to. You want to. “I can, yes, oh, I can,” you say. “I can, but I don’t— I want—”

He nibbles on the shell of your ear. “Want what?”

“Theo!” you say, trying to sound angry at his meanness. But you only sound desperate. Theo presses harder against you, the palm of his hand heavy against your clit. You feel electric. You decide to surrender. “Want to cum on your mouth, please.”

He’s on his knees again. You swear his mouth is magic: everywhere it touches feels set on fire. He rolls your clit with his tongue, teasing, timing it with the pump of his fingers inside you—he listens to you sing. Half-praises, half-curses, the strained vowels of his name. Then finally he pulls your clit between his lips. Harshly. You let out a cry that goes straight to his cock.

He calls out your name, groaning, with his face still between your already-shaking thighs—then he says, an order, a command—“Cum.”

So you do. The rest of the city disappears: there’s only Theo and you in this little universe. You orgasm so hard any semblance of voice control you have on you melts into thin air, forcing Theo to scramble up and press a hand on your open mouth. It smells like you. Your insides pulse against his intruding fingers for what seems like forever. Your vision spins, head lolled back upwards. You see the endless night sky hovering above. Theo always makes you feel like you own the world.

-

Theo hears the passersby long before they cross the small alley. Your dress is now unceremoniously popped open, corset out of the way; he’s fucking you from behind with your once-fixed-up hair twined in his fists, a mumble of “ah ah ah” falling out of your lips with every thrust. The both of you aren’t too close to the adjoining streets, but the low lamplight would make the both of you a tad visible if someone passing by tried hard enough to look. The footsteps get closer; he hears the sound of a woman’s laughter. He pulls your head up by your hair, then covers your mouth with his hand.

You make a sound of confusion, and Theo shushes you. You strain your ears until you finally hear it too: the sound of a couple walking by, maybe for a late night romp. Why does that voice seem awfully familiar…

Theo whispers against your ear: “You’ll have to be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.”

Then, remorselessly, he begins thrusting up against you once more. You think you might be able to do what he asked pretty easily, but the new angle let him reach way deeper, that spot that makes your knees weak. And it felt good. Your knees buckle with the pleasure and Theo has to hold you up by the waist so you don’t collapse. You try to trap your cry in your throat but it comes out as a shuddering sigh into his hand.

Theo chuckles, a low sound that sends fire down your belly. Theo’s not usually one for dirty talk, not this much, but today feels like a whole different timeline altogether anyway, fucking in a back alley. He continues to aggravate you, whispering, “You got tight. You like this, don’t you? That we might get caught. Maybe you want to get caught.”

You sigh softly into his hand but he’s relentless. The footsteps get closer. In a few more seconds you might just hear their conversation. The girl is questioning why the hell her partner is at a bar if, out of everything he could order, he drinks coffee. Wait—

Theo grins into your shoulder. “Don’t let Arthur hear you.”

Before the realization even hits, Theo snakes his hand on your waist downward until his fingers rest on your clit, circling. Your eyes suddenly focus, laser-sharp, to the shadows crossing the alley.

Arthur laughs, that flirty laugh he’s long perfected. “Oh, my dear Roxy, my luv. I don’t want to leave a bad expression on beautiful ladies like you, you know? Alcohol, they make men sloppy.”

Theo squeezes your clit. You shiver and nearly cry at the effort of not making a sound. You buck your hips backward toward his hand.

“You certainly know your way around then,” the girl says. Her voice has that low dip that sounds hungry. You’d know what that sounds like. “Experienced lovers are a delight.”

Theo slumps his head on your shoulder and shakily sighs, the sigh he makes when he’s close to the end. God, can’t Arthur just walk any faster?

“Yes, they certainly—” Arthur turns his head to the alley, and you duck your head down, praying you’re out of the light. Your heart is pounding so hard in your chest and in your ears and everywhere you don’t know if it’s from the sex or from the fear or excitement or all. “They certainly are,” Arthur finally says after a brief pause, wrapping an arm around the girl’s waist. “They’re the ones with the most surprises.”

As their footsteps slowly disappear to the distance (you half-mindedly remember there’s an inn down the road) Theo returns to work full force. His hand on your clit, one on your mouth, his cock deep inside you. Bite, you want to tell, bite me, please, but without your voice—

You sink your blunt teeth into the skin of his fingers, and Theo instantly understands. Face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, you hear him moan likely in relief as he finally sinks his fangs into your skin. The pain sears but it is gone in a moment, and then suddenly, there is only the white-hot of pleasure. It takes mere seconds for you to collapse, dizzy from his teasing and the tension of nearly getting caught pushing you right over the end. Your moan is muffled into Theo’s warm hand as you go rigid then limp into his arms, your cheek pressing into the damp wood of the crates.

Theo laughs, a deep rumble full of pride. He is still inside you, reveling in your post-orgasm pulsing. He massages gentle circles on the small of your back. “I can’t believe you actually enjoyed that.”

You huff, a little laugh through your nose. “I thought I would die,” you admit. “You are ruthless.”

“And you love it.” He brushes away your hair and presses kisses down the nape of your neck until your breathing evens out a little bit. “Think you can take a bit more?”

“Yes, please,” you say, your voice faltering at the end when Theo moves to hits that spot you love once more. “Oh, fuck, come on, Theo, cum.”

That’s all the permission he needs. His hand returns to your hair, tugging sharply, as his thrusts become messier, harder. Your insides, your thighs, your hands, your entire body is still sensitive and everything feels too much. You sob desperately as you stutter out his name between each thrust; “Shit!” he growls,  his fingers grasping at your hips so hard you’re sure they’re bruised. He nuzzles the crook of your neck, fangs just gently scraping, not enough for the skin to break. You feel the mess dripping down your thighs.

“Christ, Theo,” you start to say, but then he flips you over and kisses you softly, like you’re the first flower of spring, as if he hadn’t just fucked your brains into goo—and the words disappear from your mouth.

-

The two of you hailed a carriage and spent the ride home in silence. As much silence as “still hearing your heart pound through your ears” could be. Theo had one hand on your thigh and you leaned against his shoulder until you got back to the mansion.

You’re about to turn the corridor to head off to your room to rest, mouth open to tell Theo goodnight, when once again he catches you by the wrist.

“You think I’m done with you tonight?”

-

You wonder if you were ever going to get used to this, his lips on yours, his hand on your thigh. Your hand in his hair, your tongue in his mouth. The both of you hadn’t even bothered to turn on the light—just crashed on the bed in a mess of limbs, Theo hurriedly disassembling his perfectly-worn suit. You felt a little bad (because you sure enjoyed the sight) but the sight of his flushed skin sure was a little treat. He’d helped you out of your dress too, cloth fluttering to the ground, accessories haphazardly hanging on the edge of the bedside table. Now, there was a little tent in his pants and there was no hiding how wet you are through your thin underwear.

“You were doing it on purpose, weren’t you?” Theo asks against your throat, voice muffled. One hand of his has snaked up your side, cupping the curve of your waist. The same side Major General Lowell had placed his hand on you much earlier that night—so far back it felt like centuries.

You want to tease him a little for being jealous, but you figured you’d had enough fun for today. He freezes a little when he feels you brush his messy bangs aside and press a kiss against his forehead. “Just to rile you up. You know there’s no one else I’d want, Theo.”

Instead of words, he answers by grazing his lips against your neck again, the sensation making you shiver. When he reaches the part where he’d bitten you earlier, he presses a kiss on it. It’s the same as him telling you I love you.

You turn and take his face in your hands. “Happy Birthday, Theo,” you say, sneaking a kiss to his nose before flipping him over and straddling his waist, hands already on the hem of his pants. You remember the Countess’ hands all over him at the party.

Time to get revenge.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-31

THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE!  Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton!  Continuing from last time.

Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off?  Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?

> (==>)

This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut.  Your psyche is no longer allowed to be....

....Housetrapped.

Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities.  Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.

> (==>)

I LITERALLY GASPED

I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud.  To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.

What a dramatic, perfect shot.  This IS Karkat right?  That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said

> (==>)

THEY’RE CLOSE FRIENDS

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT

KARKAT HAS COME SO FAR

Karkat and John conversations are some of the strongest in Homestuck, I ship them as FRIENDS so hard

It brings to mind something I mentioned in the Breath, Blood, and the Flow of Reality explanation/theorypost, which was holy shit SEVEN YEARS AGO wow

I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:

“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.

That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”

John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline.  He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it.  He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff.  But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.

> (==>)

Awesome shot.

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way -- I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)

So many scars.  I used to even ship Jane and Karkat a little so they could just be aghast together at everyone’s shenanigans and level criticism at them together, but to think Jane’s fought and hurt Karkat THIS much...

(And yeah, his blood color is shown through his eyes now at this age, that’s correct.)

> (==>)

Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly.  XD

This is great.

JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly.  :)

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just... KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.

I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

A BIT DISTRACTED.  You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

Mhmm.  Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story.  People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified.  They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so!  But those walls are coming down, starting now.  They’re going to come back into their own.  And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.

JOHN: so... JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: ...right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Wait.  Oh, God.

Someone brought up the possibility that Gamzee might still be revivable by Jane, and I speculated that she’s deliberately CHOOSING not to because she actually doesn’t like him that much or has some semblance of fucking sense left in her.

But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure?  D:

JOHN: well, when you put it like that... JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

Pretty much.  Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the--

--oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.

I guess this is in character.  Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily.  He really is a Breath player.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

Excellent, yeah.

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John.  Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.

JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

...Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

Guh.  I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything.  (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i... hm.

Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John.  You needed them.

JOHN: i don't really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot... KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it's just not the same. JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad.  And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about.  Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

...you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.

Heheh.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

All Breath and no Blood?  All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?

Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind.  He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

Phew.  Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

--is it gonna be a hug?

> (==>)

JOHN.  Put it together.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already. JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

No, not that!!

...well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but.  This ain’t just about you two.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well... JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just... JOHN: argh, i don't know!

This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John.  I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before -- like he SHOULD eventually -- but I suppose we’re about to see.

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.

> (==>)

Such MOOD.  What a good image.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

That’s fair.  And they DO need to talk about it!  But this is sort of like in the Game -- there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it.  You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

THIS is fair.  Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody.  Whether John is the right somebody... I guess he is where Dave is concerned.  And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.

JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two... JOHN: especially now that he's... JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i'm trying to say is... JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

--it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it?  --actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.

> (==>)

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

A giant expletive isn’t it.

The best sendoff you could give him.

> (==>)

Holy shit.  It really IS a rant!

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might.  But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)

Oh SHIT

> (==>)

Oh no... oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.

They’re gonna have to cry it out.  Finally, onscreen.  THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it.  It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation.  THIS situation really tugs it out of them.  :(

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god...)

> (==>)

These visuals are ON POINT.  This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfully done.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

That last bit with John.  I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit... he’s about to burst into tears.  And Karkat is going to have to with him.  And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.

> (==>)

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much! JOHN: i thought you KNEW! KARKAT: KNEW WHAT??? JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat! JOHN: he's... JOHN: he's dead.

Let’s see it happen.

> (==>)

Just body language, the blow of the words...

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought... JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next... JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE...

Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news--

> (==>)

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

aaaaAAAA

What a fucking expression, wow.

And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter.  To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him.  He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.

This was a damned good update.  See y’all next time.

(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck.  Even its current incarnation.)

[eirabach]

Backlash [5/5]

The last bit of Gordon + Used as Bait for @godsliltippy and @badthingshappenbingo and on ao3 here. I absolutely need to make these things more concise.

It's not -- it's not great. Not even a little bit. Not at all. But Gordon's -- Gordon's faced worse, hasn't he? He can still swim, blinded. Still move. Still walk and talk and feel and touch and kiss -- it's been worse.

Kinda.

"Alan?"

There's a noise, a echoey, scuffley, heavy sort of noise, like someone dragging anchor chains out of dry dock, and Gordon hasn't spent enough time on Three to know what it is, other than it's gotta be Alan. There's no one else here after all.

"Yeah?"

Alan sounds wrong too, all nasal and wet, and Gordon's blown his eardrum right out but he still recognises the misery behind the word. Still knows it's his job to fix it - even if it's his fault it’s there in the first place. Sorta. Maybe.

He’s pretty sure that Alan’s not all that pleased at having him cluttering up his ‘bird, half deaf and blinded and with a head that feels fit to burst. He’s just kinda hazy on how he got that way, if he’s honest. It's probably his own fault though. It usually is.

But there’s another nasty, throbbing ache that he does happen to know he didn’t come by honestly.

"I'm still mad about the elbow."

The clattering pauses, and Gordon strains his one goodish ear until he hears the little huff of breath that means his little brother’s turned his attention toward him, until he’s sure Alan’s words are stained more with irritation than sadness.

"Don't you have more important things to worry about?"

Yes. No. Deflect. Wind him up because Gordon’s good at that. Wind him up and maybe -- just maybe -- it won’t hurt so much to shake his head. "Spoken like a true child."

Alan scoffs. "Just because you spend all your free time mooning over Lady Penelope doesn't mean the rest of us are as hopeless as you."

Gordon fakes a cry of outrage, but the gasp that follows is real. Three’s moving, swaying beneath him, and when Alan speaks he sounds further away, deeper and more muffled and Gordon pitches his own voice higher, louder, an attempt to compensate for something he can’t quite name. The clattering and banging starts up again and God, but his head hurts.

"I am sure you can't possibly be referring to yourself there Alan Bartlett Underage Tracy?"

"Well I'm sure as hell not talking about John."

"You don't know that. He's a dark horse, out in space all alone -- could be up to anything."

'Have you met John?"

"He wears a super tight spacesuit."

"I'm not sure what you're trying to say but please, don't ."

"They say it's always the quiet ones."

"That's only because they haven't met you ."

"Poor souls."

There’s a final sort of slam sound, and Three launches herself forward with a shuddering, violent jolt. Unsecured and unsteady Gordon founders, his hands scrabbling for a grip on something anything as Alan yelps from -- from somewhere.

Oh God. Oh God, he can’t see . He can’t see and Alan -- Alan .

If anything happens to Alan, he’s fucked.

If anything happens to Alan, he won’t even know.

“Gords? Oh crap Gordy I’m sorry, that was a bit -- I was swapping over Four’s power cells -- get us some extra -- extra kick. Too much kick, maybe. I’m sorry. I should have warned you -- I should --” Gordon feels the neoprene of his gloves being tugged and pulled and then, then there are two warm hands wrapped around his own. Bigger than the last time he’d held them, rougher, but still, unmistakably --

“Allie,” the childhood nickname’s half choked out, two syllables almost two too many for his pounding head, his frantic heart. “This is shit .”

---

“This is shit.”

“There aren’t tow trucks out there, Scott.” Virgil, of course, remains infuriatingly soothing even now. It's the habit of a lifetime and Scott wonders, sometimes, if it would be acceptable to smack him. “There’s no-one coming to help. When you’re in trouble that far out, we’re it ."

“So that’s it then? We just sit and watch?”

The little red triangle that represents a solid 33% of Scott’s entire heart moves, achingly slowly, across the arc of space that now hangs in their living room. Above it John hovers, not down, not like he would be in any other family emergency, but still far above them all in Five. Still way, way too close, but Five can’t get there. Can't come to the rescue of the would-be rescuers. No one can.

“Believe me, Scott. I’ve run the figures, if there was any way --”

“Don’t give me the platitudes, John! I’m not some -- some weeping widow you can fob off. This is Gordon and Alan, and we can’t just leave them out there!”

Virgil and John exchange a look, and Virgil sighs. The likelihood of that smack is increasing by the second.

“Grandma’s certain the blindness is only temporary, and they’re making good progress Scott. They’ll be home within a fortnight, and then you’ll be wishing they hadn’t got back so quick."

Scott spins on the spot, fear making his finger shake as he jams it into his brother’s chest. “What the hell are you trying to say, Virgil?”

“I’m not trying to say --”

“No, spit it out. You think this is no big deal, do you?”

Virgil holds up his hands, eyes wide. “I never --”

“Because this is my call. I sent them out there, and if -- if anything else happens --”

“Scott. They’ll be okay. They will.”

Scott shakes his head, frantic. “And if they’re not? If Grandma’s wrong?”

“Don’t let her hear you say that."

“Virgil!” Scott crumples, collapsing onto the sofa with his head in his hands. “What if ."

---

Virgil doesn’t have an answer for Scott, but John does.

He’s run every conceivable outcome through every parameter he can think of, staying up on Five as a small, useless concession to the distance between older and younger, safe and wounded. It means he knows, now, what if.

He’s figured it all out; what if Alan runs out of fuel, what if Gordon’s concussion takes a turn for the worse, what if Three sustained damage or a freak meteorite hits her engine core. He’s considered them all in every teeny, tiny, detail. Knows the likelihood down to a millionth of a percentage point and it ought to help, hadn’t it? Knowing how utterly unlikely such things are.

It doesn’t.

Not when he knows what would come next. The self loathing, the recriminations, the horrible, baffling concept of Gordon, blinded. Hurt. Worse. Gordon, who has always seemed the most determined to live life to the fullest of all of them, and for whom life has always been almost brutally, unfairly cruel.

He’d adapt, of course, if Grandma’s wrong. He’s that way inclined.

The numbers suggest that the rest of them would not.

Perhaps he’s being unfair on Virgil, really. Perhaps Virgil knows as well as John does the way the guilt would eat at them from the inside out. Does. Is. The way it burns in the fingertips that pressed the button, chokes the throats of those who said “Go.” Perhaps that’s why he’s letting Scott snap and snarl at him, John wouldn’t know. He’s always left that sort of thing to Virgil after all, but it seems like the sort of thing that Virgil would do.

Distract.

Reassure.

Offer hope.

John’s decent enough at the first two -- it’s sort of his job after all -- but hope, hope rarely comes from the numbers and the numbers are where John puts his faith, sticks his certainty.

The numbers, he tells himself, don’t lie. Lying benefits no one. It’s just a sticking plaster, a minute or two of relief borrowed from the pain yet to come. He’s never really understood the point of it before.

But then he opens his comm, opens the line, opens his mouth, and John -- John understands, now.

Sightless eyes turn upward, a guess that doesn’t quite work, followed by a smile that’s far too broad turned bloodless and grey in the holographic light.

“Gordy. It’s John. You’re going to be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He has twelve days til the backlash.

[medea10]

My Review of O Maidens in Your Savage Season

How did I get into this anime? This time, I didn’t rely on the randomizer to pick out a random anime licensed by Sentai Filmworks. I wanted to choose a small-sized anime with not that many episodes to its name. Probably because I spent a good year and a half on Rinne that all of these Sentai picks have been short series! So I went with one that came out not too long ago.

Kazusa Onodera belongs to the literature club at her school. Seems decent enough, right? These girls read heavily, sexualized books. And as high schoolers, the word sex is taboo and intriguing all at the same time. Each of the girls in the literature club have their own view on the subject, mostly border-lining on wanting to know more and experiencing it soon. Aside from that, Kazusa is noticing that her childhood friend, Izumi Norimoto has changed since they were kids and other girls are noticing him. This, putting Kazusa in an awkward position of avoiding him when he’s around other girls! Half of it is because jealous bitches glare at her if she gets too close to Izumi. The other half is due to the fact that Kazusa is starting to notice her friend as maybe something more.

One day, the girls in the club get word of one of their favorite authors writing a new book. This one about someone writing a bucket list due to dying! One of the girls (Niina Sugawara) suggests sex. Ever since then, all of the other girls are noticing so many new things in their world. Certain words sound dirty, certain objects can be considered phallic, and boys are starting to look fuckable. And our girl Kazusa gets a heavy dose of reality when she gives her neighbor Izumi some dinner.

She walks upstairs to find Izumi jerking off to some hardcore porn on his computer.

So yeah, coming of age story up in here!

But it isn’t just Kazusa learning about the trials of love and sex. Momoko deals with her own troubles involving sexuality. Sugawara is torn between a past love and a new love. Rika is discovering love for the first time in her life. And Hongo wants to learn more about sex in order to become a great author. All five of these girls deal with that difficult time of adolescence with first love and the curiosity of “ess eee ex”.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: This is licensed by Sentai Filmworks. As of this date and time, an English cast has been announced, but by the looks of things, nothing has been dubbed yet. I am a little excited to hear several new voices in the cast and a few familiar ones including Brittney Karbowski and Natalie Rial. Many of the Japanese voice actors have been around for a while and I’m kinda familiar with. It’s just that I haven’t spent a great deal hearing them in my day-to-day rotations. But I can’t complain with the cast! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kazusa is played by Hiyori Kouno (known for Phil on The Promised Neverland)

*Momoko is played by Momo Asakura (known for Ayumi on Charlotte, Iroha on Magia Record, Sumi on Sakura Trick, Manako on Monster Musume, Nagisa on Kaguya-sama, and Lamy on Fairy Tail)

*Rika is played by Sumire Uesaka (known for Dekomori on Chuunibyo, Nanase on In/Spectre, and Anastasia on Idolm@ster: Cinderella Girls)

*Hongo is played by Tomoyo Kurosawa (known for Miria on Idolm@ster: Cinderella Girls)

*Sugawara is played by Chika Anzai (known for Mina on Attack on Titan, Nana on My Roommate is a Cat, Maki on Sakura Quest, and Young Kamui on Gintama)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kazusa is played by Brittney Karbowski (known for Selim/Pride on FMA: Brotherhood, Misaka on Railgun/Index, Black Star on Soul Eater, Wendy on Fairy Tail, Dekomori on Chuunibyo, and Hisako on Food Wars)

*Momoko is played by Juliet Simmons (known for Yukika on My Love Story and Mayumi on Food Wars)

*Rika is played by Avery Smithhart

*Hongo is played by Elissa Cuellar

*Sugawara is played by Natalie Rial (known for Rui on Domestic Girlfriend)

THIS NEEDS TO PLAY ON REPEAT: Can we watch Creepy McPedofuck get socked in the face on loop?

Yes!

It goes without saying that I hated this fucker. I heavily enjoyed him getting knocked the fuck out. And I will go in further detail with the shipping category.

SHIPPING: As this is a coming of age anime with girls in high school just discovering love, lust, sex, and all that good shit, we’ve got some stuff to cover in this category.

*Kazusa x Izumi: The childhood friend scenario! Yeah, these two were quite inseparable as children, but as they grew older, Izumi started to grow somewhat of a popularity streak with the girls at school and as a result, Kazusa found herself inferior compared to these catty bitches. That and these girls are jealous if they see Kazusa even speaking to Izumi.

Throughout the series, Kazusa had to deal with jealous bitches telling her to back off and Kazusa’s friend Sugawara having growing feelings for Izumi every time she’s with him. It seemed like not a big deal in the earlier episodes. But once we see what Sugawara is getting back at, it gets downright love-triangle-ish. It got so crazy that both girls proclaimed their love for Izumi in an open setting during a school festival at the same time. I know Izumi wasn’t going to reciprocate Sugawara’s feelings, but when he started saying things that are friend-zone material, I got worried. I mean, Kazusa and Izumi were childhood friends and there’s been a strain in that due to hormonal changes. I don’t want to bring out the tired old excuse of Izumi being a boy and he’s a dumbass, but I kinda have to. Yes dude likes Kazusa, but he also likes Sugawara and both for different reasons. And when it comes to Sugawara, it’s a sexual attraction. Boy, you are not going to get your cake and pie here.

Now I’ve been in Kazusa’s position before of wanting to be in a relationship with a best friend. A lot of the time, it does not go well and can strain the friendship you once had making it hard to go back if there’s a crap-up. By the looks of things at the end of the anime, these two seem to be on a sure-footing in their relationship.

*Rika x Shun: Rika has always been seen as an outsider to many of the main cliques of school. But it wasn’t until Shun’s kind words in class one day that changed something inside of Rika. But it doesn’t stop there with this boy! He writes fifty pages of “I Love Yous”, he insists on wanting to be with Rika in any class activity, and goes out of his way to ask her out (which she eventually accepts). And Rika with these new feelings doesn’t really know how to handle it as this is the first time she’s experienced these feelings outside of reading them in a novel. But I gotta say, their confession in front of the school was just downright too cute for words. It definitely deserves a round of applause.

*Hongo x Milo-sensei: Oh dear God, not this again! I don’t know whether to think Hongo is just using this guy for her novel or if she’s really developing something for her teacher. Milo-sensei seems to have a thing for his teaching colleague. But does this fool have a side-thing for one of his students as well? I’m getting Marmalade Boy and Domestic Girlfriend vibes here. These two go beyond a lot of boundaries throughout the series including panty flashes and a spontaneous trip to a motel. This ship I’m not fully on board with! But this is still leaps and bound ahead of what I’m about to discuss next.

*Sugawara x Saegusa: Oh for fuck’s sake! Everything about this sounds so wrong, Domestic Girlfriend is demanding an apology for all the bad things said about that. Even Izumi finds this guy pedophilish. An old acting coach has a thing for little girls and finds Sugawara pure when she’s at a young age and Sugawara eventually grows to like him. It’s just that when she figured it out, she’s a young teenager in high school and according to Saegusa, she’s too old.

Too old?! Fool! You are clearly in your late 40s at the earliest. And Sugawara is at least 14 and SHE’S TOO OLD?! I’m about to slap the glasses off your dumbass-face and call Chris Hansen because this is too much. Sugawara, please for the love of all that’s cream pie, stop going after this creep and making him jealous with trying to get with Izumi! You CAN do better! And also, you’re really fucking with the Izumi x Kazusa ship. But more importantly, you CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS CREEPY FUCK!

…

And now it’s time to talk about Momoko. I thought that this anime was going to be all about these girls falling in love with different boys. At first, it looked like that with a boy named Satoshi coming in the picture saying he remembers Momoko when they were kids. But then, we get a surprise from Momoko when she finds girls more attractive (particularly Sugawara). Okay, I didn’t see that coming. And frankly, I’d prefer that or just about anything else to that old-ass actor with a little girl complex. But with Momoko, I feel like she’s going to be the one character that doesn’t get to be with someone in the end. Kazusa gets Izumi, Rika gets Shun, and Hongo gets Milo-sensei. Momoko does come out to Sugawara, but I’m unsure if this is one-sided or if Sugawara ends up together with her.

ENDING: All five girls are learning that love and sex come with a mixed bag of everything. Sometimes everything works out, sometimes things fall apart, sometimes actions have consequences, and sometimes a dick comes in and ruins everything.

Because of the blooming relationship of Kazusa and Izumi, Sugawara got jealous and did some risqué things on a train with Izumi. Hongo takes things to another level when she goes to a cheap hotel with Milo-sensei and she was ready to take the bull by the horns. Yeah, she was doing most of this for her novel, but this escalated into full-blown infatuation of her teacher. And Rika was feeling pretty good around school now that she has a boyfriend and is on speaking terms with one of the popular girls. Too bad Rika’s friend is never coming back to school because she’s knocked up! See, consequences!

The high school administration was upset by some recent incidents including a student getting pregnant. But what set them over the edge were reports of Rika and Shun outside of a love hotel. But as we all know, they did no act of sex. They were spying on Hongo and Milo-sensei. But you can’t tell these prudes that. They made an example of Rika and Shun by expelling them and putting out an updated P.D.A. rule at school. Not even Milo-sensei confessing to being at the love hotel could calm this storm with the heads of the school. So the girls of the literature club decide to take drastic measures.

They shut the school down, hold Milo-sensei hostage, and demand that Rika and Shun are reinstated at school. I wasn’t expecting this anime to go down the route of The Simpson’s classic episode Grade School Confidential, but here we are.

Yeah, the principal and vice principal had a Groundskeeper Willie attitude to their fight and left them to cool down for the night. This night in the school things kinda went a little crazy, particularly when Shun and Izumi came inside. Especially when you have Izumi admit that he likes Kazusa, but is sexually attracted to Sugawara. Then, you have Momoko irritated that all Sugawara is interested in is Izumi and she’s got this huge crush on her. Add to the thick layer we got already, Shun opens is dumbass mouth to mention he has kissed girls before Rika. Oh, dude. Shut up! But the girls found a way to fix things…sorta! A few episodes back, the girls had a pillow fight to let out their frustration. So, they’re going to play a simple game where there seems to be a happy conclusion for all involved. Rika and Shun share a cute forehead kiss and Shun admits his love for Rika once more. Momoko and Sugawara share a moment. As for Izumi and Kazusa, they both admitted to feeling anxious and uncomfortable jumping from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend. So it looks like they’re going to stay together. Sure looks like it in the epilogue. But we’ll get there soon enough.

After a full night of revelations, the principal and vice principal return to school the following morning to the entire building covered in protest paper to reinstate Rika and Shun and to get rid of the P.D.A. ban. I guess things worked out since a lot of students saw this and the principal is about as useless as a Band-Aid on a toothache.

At the end of the episode, we see the cast from what looks to be one year later as Rika and Shun are in college now. Rika’s friend and former classmate had her baby. Milo-sensei and Hongo are holding down the literature club with a few new members. It also looks as though they’re still in a relationship (possibly getting married later). I am unsure if Momoko and Sugawara ended up together or not. But at least they’re still friends. And it seems as though Izumi and Kazusa made it through that awkward time of adolescence and they seemed to have stayed together.

This was a fun romp! I think we all remember a time in high school where we were young and naïve about the concept of love and even sex. I can’t say there was one particular character I connected to in this series. I think I’ve been in all of the girl’s positions at one point or another. I’ve been friend-zoned like Kazusa. There was a boy I wasn’t into that wouldn’t leave me alone like Momoko. I was curious to a point where it did affect my own writing like Hongo. I had jealous fits over a friend’s boyfriend much like Sugawara. And once I got in a relationship, I felt as awkward as Rika. See, I’ve been all five at one point.

It’s a confusing time being an adolescent. Along with the changes in your body, there’s that gnawing pressure of noticing blossoming feelings for some person. And you’re not sure if you should talk to them, kiss them, or rip off their clothes in the heat of passion. Not sure if everything from the manga was covered. I’d like to assume it was due to the fact that both the anime series and manga were short. And I think all viewers can agree that…Can we see that gross dude get punched again?

Oh yeah, that’s so delicious.

So if you’re ready to re-watch possible flashbacks of your awkward high school moments again, check out this anime.

If you would like to watch O Maidens in Your Savage Season, all 12 episodes are available to watch on HI-DIVE.

Okay, what’s my next Sentai Filmworks anime?

*gasps*

In association with Pony Canyon & TBS!

What the…?! THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEY’RE FROM K-ON!

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 127 Thoughts

“Let us speak for 46 pages about how we still don’t actually have any real plan, we’re just all very against genocide (except Magath and Yelena) and very upset and feel like we should be doing something.”

The characters are sort of doing my job for me this month.

Maybe this whole post should just be illicit screencaps from Crunchyroll with me providing links and saying, ‘and here’s the panel that makes the point I whined about in this post here.’

That would probably provide more entertainment than whatever I’m about to come up with.

-sees the amount of swearing in the first section-

Hm.

First off, fuck Magath.

Like no, I’m sorry. This is not about what happened 2000 years ago. You know what it’s about? It’s about Marley sending in child soldiers to assault and rob a land that had caused literally no problems for 100 years. It’s about Marley doing this despite being aware of its own history, being that their personal hero collaborated with the First King of Paradis to make Marley’s independence possible.

You want to talk about history, Magath?

Jean isn’t the one who sounds like a child.

Jean is reacting to actual pain that he has experienced in his lifetime thanks to Magath’s very intentional military strategies.

Magath is blaming Jean and everyone else on the island for being born.

That is not equivalent.

That is not remotely equivalent, and while Eren is being a fucking bastard about it, Jean’s right. Eren has the power, means, and will to do all of this because of what Magath and Marley did to Paradis.

Magath doesn’t recognize Eldians as people.

The Eldian Empire was bad.

No one except Floch is disputing that. That is how you know that it is bad.

Marley, as well as the rest of the world, has been free from the Eldian Empire for over a hundred years, and in that time, all they have done is take every horrible thing about the Eldian Empire and exploit it for their own gains.

Magath doesn’t get to be angry that he lives off the backs of abused, brainwashed children that he treats like crap.

Years ago, the Eldian Empire was the worst terror in the world.

A year ago, it was Marley.

Now, it happens to be Eren.

And you know, I’ve been actively against pretty much everything Eren’s done. His plan, if he has one, has mostly managed to make everyone angry and get a lot of people killed who weren’t even involved in the beginning. He gets his head blown off close enough to his brother that he doesn’t die. That’s how the beginning stages of him committing genocide goes. He betrays his friends, makes his besties from childhood feel like crap, and honestly has just been a dick to pretty much everyone.

But at least Eren’s indiscriminate murder has the decency to actually be indiscriminate.

Marley takes children it despises and turns them into their willing slaves for the promise of a better life they have no intent of dispensing. They take these children, and full of hatred for the very ability, demand that they shorten their lifespan and murder people to prove that they’re a “good Eldian” who deserves to live.

Marley is why people can stomach rooting for Eren.

Because Marley is such an abomination that it almost feels worth it to destroy the world if it means Marley’s gone too.

Hell, I’m with Hange. There’s not an avenue where I accept genocide as a way to deal with any of this.

But if someone wanted to burn Magath alive, and we spent a dozen pages gloriously detailing his flesh curling off his bones, it would make me happy.

That’s a more dignified death than he’s given any of the children he’s forced into Marley’s wars.

He does not have the fucking moral high ground.

He's the one Jean should have punched. There is not a single person around that campfire that he has not damaged deeply, and noticing that Gabi is a little girl and he cares when she is in pain does not magically remove that.

Fuck Marley. Fuck Magath.

Grow the fuck up and stop viewing genocide as an acceptable response, you fucking halfwit child. You are the individual who saw four children off on their solitary mission to murder thousands of people. Two of them are dead. Two of them are deeply traumatized, with one of them wishing he had died.

But oh yes, Magath. You’re the victim, here.

Because you baited one angry idiot with the power of a god into destroying part of a city you didn’t give a damn about.

Truly, your justice is a thing to aspire to.

Perhaps Eren taking notes is the real reason we’re here.

Motherfucking fuck I hate Marley. I hate that Eren’s put any of these characters in the position where they have to put up with this shit for the sake of civility. I don’t have a problem with the Warriors. I don’t have a problem with the Survey Corps. I don’t have a problem with the kidlets. Hi Onyankopon, sorry about your life. Yelena has many problems, but she’s also attractive, so I don’t mind as much.

Magath, though.

Pieck, just eat him. Everyone’s too depressed to really throw down over it at this point, and the two small ones are so deeply traumatized that one more body really isn’t going to make much of a dent.

Jean’s clearly the star of this chapter, and a good deal of that comes from the potent hopelessness hovering over him like a rain cloud.

He can point to how bad everyone is at talking things out like it’s the key to the entire mystery, but the long list of problems Jean offers at the beginning of the chapter are still present. Unless they have a way to talk to every person in the world out of their (at this point, rather justified) fear and anger, Paradis and Eldians around the world are very much screwed.

Paradis has forever been running out of time against the hatred the rest of the world has for them.

They do have to fight against what Eren’s doing, and talking instead of blowing each other’s heads off is a good start, but it’s a good start thousands of years after the worst possible one.

And the last time they tried to talk to Eren, Armin punched him, and that was the most productive thing to come out of it.

Jean being the everyman who recognizes the heart of an average person because he is one has been a great tool. It’s still great, here. He wants to close his ears to all of this. He wants, desperately, to run away, because there is no good solution that doesn’t end in death.

When he joins the Survey Corps, they at least have Eren as a brand of hope. They can believe that years of the same tactics and bodies piling up won’t end the same way.

Joining this squad is all about stopping Eren, and despite having figured out their next course of action, no one has yet to provide a real idea.

Genocide is wrong, so you stand up and try to stop it.

That’s the only plan they have.

The Scouts from Paradis don’t even have the promise of saving the people they love if they stop Eren. Annie, Pieck, Gabi, Reiner, Falco... they have a home. The world might forget to hate them. They might get to go home and have a life after this.

The people sitting on the other side of the fire are fucking screwed. They’re fighting entirely for their principles.

...Also Yelena is here.

I do like Yelena.

She’s not the worst, because this manga has too many horrible people in it, but she’s delightfully terrible. I especially like how the fact that she’s actually from Marley hardly gives her any pause.

I do so like Yelena.

It’s a beautiful sentiment.

After all, everyone’s drunk on something.

If you can just save the world, what does the rest matter? What do the crimes that kept you awake at night mean, when you’ve accomplished something so miraculous? All the good deeds cleanse the rottenness, and maybe then the world rights itself and you can breathe again.

...Hey wait, where’s Reiner’s reaction shot to finding out Gabi killed Sasha?

...Did he even know Sasha was dead?

But I guess we’re doing Marco angst.

Wow. Marco angst in 2020.

I think my favorite thing about this chapter (outside of the fact that Mikasa still hates Annie and it makes me giggly because wow Mikasa) is that Annie does absolutely nothing while Jean’s beating the crap out of Reiner.

My less favorite thing is I’ve stopped enjoying Reiner getting the crap beaten out of him. It’s been done, and... really the kid just needs to have not been born into this particular life. Watching Jean beat him bloody is. not cathartic. It’s really just awful.

Annie dodging with her food is glorious, though.

Because while Jean beating up Reiner over Marco is sad and kind of miserable, Annie watching someone beat up Reiner after the years she spent putting up with Reiner and Bertolt brings it back to almost funny.

Until you look at Reiner’s face and go back to feeling bad.

-turns page back to Annie getting out of the way-

Much better.

Truly, I love Annie.

Her forgiveness status is interesting, though. I think besides Marco, she enjoyed more of the kills she’s responsible for than anyone feels a need to dig up.

She’s also been more alone than most of the others in the wagons, and essentially spent four years imprisoned for her crimes.

I’m not surprised she asked, because she’s Annie, but I’m a bit surprised we don’t have an answer yet. Probably too close to the end of the chapter to open up that can of worms.

If it makes everyone feel better, I think we know for a fact that Mikasa will never forgive Annie for anything, even if it only displays itself as petty brandishing of weapons every time they make eye contact.

It’s not even a ship thing.

I just love that Annie is the one person Mikasa can’t stand. They’ve been in one chapter together and Mikasa’s already pulling out swords. These two shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near each other. It’s perfection.

Then we get to plot complications that really don’t register as complications because like. Yeah, you guys need something to do while you figure out what the hell you’re doing.

Because you don’t actually have a real plan, just so we’re clear.

Killing Eren would result in all those Wall Titans operating under their own power.

That is not fundamentally less destructive.

Killing Eren has a nice ring to it, but much like talking to Eren, it does not solve any of the other problems looming ahead.

So you enjoy your little subplot with Floch!

It’s one of the last times your combined competence will have any meaning.

-looks over at Kiyomi-

Honest question, but why are you alive if Floch dislikes you enough to hold you hostage? If Eren’s gonna kill everyone, shouldn’t Floch be following suit and just do his Floch thing of murdering every slight inconvenience?

We’re in the boring stages of the finale right now.

No clear plan for either side to contend with. No real progress in any direction because the tiny squabbles are just a delaying tactic for the massive squabble that no one has an answer to. None of any of this chapter really matters except for clearing the air.

Which is not a useless investment, it’s just not very exciting.

At this point, no excitement is allowed, because there’s that One Huge Thing, and the entire story hinges on it. Maybe someone will die on the way to dealing with it, but that’s all the drama we’re going to get until we find out enough about the plot to have a future worth rooting for.

Right now, there is no good outcome for the people we’ve watched fight for 127 chapters.

Pulling a story along with that weight is hard, and I can feel my brain turning itself off until we’re back to a point where the story is permitted to address the stegosaurus in the room.

One more month.

Again.

Until something happens and we all regret everything.

[unfolded73]

Partners (1/1) - schitt’s creek ff

The third of a series of snapshot fics centered around stages in David and Patrick’s relationship and the way they label it. Set some time between 5x06: Rock On and 5x08: The Hospies. (ao3)

Rated Explicit, 3267 words. Previous fic in this series: Boyfriends; “I Love You”

__________________________________

Partner, n. a person with whom one shares an intimate relationship; one member of a couple

~

“Stevie, no,” David said as she put a big bottle of discount shampoo into her grocery cart. “We sell shampoo at the store.”

“And are you going to give me some for free? Because I can’t afford the shampoo at your store.”

He wasn’t going to give it to her for free. She got enough free wine from them as it was.

They rounded the end of the aisle and moved onto the next one, where Stevie threw a box of tampons into her cart. “No comments.”

“Why would I comment? It’s a normal part of being a vagina-having human.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that. I just figured you’d have an opinion on what brand I was buying.”

David sniffed. “It would seem you’ve found the limit to my wealth of opinions.”

Stevie had moved on to the condoms, and she pulled two boxes off the little hook, throwing one in her cart and one in David’s.

“Oh,” he said. “I don’t—”

“Don’t tell me those aren’t your brand; I’ve seen you buy them plenty of times.”

“No, it’s not that.” He carefully put the box back. “I just don’t need any.”

Stevie shot him a pitying look. “Patrick’s not putting out anymore?”

“No!” he said indignantly as he continued pushing his cart down the aisle. “We’re just not, um, using… condoms. Anymore.”

Stevie stopped and stared at him. “That’s a big deal.”

“It’s not that big a deal,” David said, concentrating on his cart. “I have to go back; I forgot Patrick’s cereal.”

“So you’re saying it’s not a big deal that you’re here, buying groceries for the boyfriend with whom you’ve practically moved in and with whom you’re no longer using condoms.”

“I haven’t moved in, I just happen to know he’s out of cereal,” David said, trying not to smile.

“Because you’re exclusive,” she continued, bumping his shoulder. “Monogamous.”

“We aren’t seeing other people because we’re in a committed relationship.” David replayed Patrick saying those words in his mind a lot. Committed relationship. “And he says he has no interest in seeing other people, so.”

“Yeah, I heard about Ken,” Stevie said.

“Who told you about that?” David said, wincing.

“I got the full rundown from Alexis and from Patrick.”

David huffed. “So given that, and that we got tested ages ago, we decided to forego the condoms from now on.” He didn’t tell her the other thing that Patrick had asked him to promise: that if anything ever did happen with someone else, for either of them, the important thing was that they be honest with each other about it. Patrick said he could forgive infidelity, but he wouldn’t be able to forgive his health being put at risk in the interest of keeping a secret. It was an incredibly mature position to take, and David was still trying to wrap his head around the implications of it: that Patrick thought their relationship was solid enough to withstand something that serious. David had always thought of romantic relationships as something ephemeral that could be blown away by the prevailing winds. Not something stable, with thick stanchions sunk deep into the earth.

“That means you also have no interest in seeing other people,” Stevie said.

“Why would I want to see other people? I had a lifetime of seeing other people, and it didn’t hold a candle to…” He blinked. He was getting way over-emotional for the frozen food aisle, where Stevie was currently putting a couple of frozen pizzas into her cart. “Get one of the pepperoni and sausage,” he told her.

“These are for me. Get your own.” She shot him a smirk. “Didn’t hold a candle to what?”

“To being with someone who knows me,” David said quickly.

“Hmm.” Stevie led David over to the cereal aisle so that he could get Patrick’s breakfast cereal. “And you realize that he probably feels the same way, right? Which is why he doesn’t care about experiencing other guys at this point either.”

“Yes, I realize that now,” David said, meeting her eyes.

“Good.” Stevie nodded, but then her face contorted into a grimace. “God, David, you’re so happy. It’s disgusting.”

~~~

David found himself surprised by his own confidence in their relationship when he noticed Patrick checking out a hot guy in bike shorts who stopped by the store. Rather than a stab of jealousy, he just felt a sort of warmth about it, that after so many years of not knowing himself and even after the Ken debacle, Patrick was allowing himself to openly admire another man. So when the guy left with a bottle of juice and was back on his bike outside, David grinned and commented, “This town has a criminal shortage of asses that perfect.”

And rather than looking guilty, Patrick laughed. “Oh my god, right?”

“Aside from yours, of course.”

Patrick snorted. “Sure,” he said, and once again David had to restrain himself from delivering his well-researched, thoroughly-sourced lecture on the perfection of Patrick’s ass to the man himself.

“Maybe we should carry more items geared to cyclists. Reusable water bottles, energy bars, that kind of thing,” David mused.

Patrick looked impressed. “That’s actually a great idea, even if it is rooted in your desire to check out guys’ asses.”

“Not just guys. I like the asses of all genders.”

“Okay, fine. But my point is, Elmdale has a long-distance cycling club. We could do some good business with them if they’re motivated to stop in town while they’re out riding on summer weekends.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon putting together a plan for sourcing fitness-related products, with frequent interruptions to help customers or for shameless innuendo between the two of them, and all of it was fun. Working with Patrick was fun. Flirting with Patrick was fun. Just being in Patrick’s presence was fun, and the fact that they’d been dating for over a year hadn’t made any of it any less fun.

Of course, none of that meant David didn’t still have a possessive streak, and the next time the hot cyclist stopped in the store, David might’ve made a point of dragging his fingers along Patrick’s back where the guy could see.

“You might be interested in these new artisanal protein bars we’re testing,” Patrick told the cyclist, giving David a pointed look like he knew what he was doing.

“Are they good?” Hot cyclist asked.

“I make a point of not eating things with that much granola in them, but my partner assures me they are,” David said, winking at Patrick.

They sold him four bars.

~~~

The thing was, the word ‘partner’ had always been a regular part of their vocabulary since they owned a business together, so when it started to slip out of David’s mouth in contexts that had less and less to do with the business, at first he didn’t realize the import of it. It was Alexis who had to point it out to him one evening when he was hanging out at the motel while Patrick was at the Wobbly Elm with his baseball team.

“You’ve started calling Patrick your partner,” she said.

David squinted up at her from his journal. “What? He’s my business partner.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what you mean by it now. You mean partner. You know. Partner.”

He opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it just as quickly with a click.

“Like you guys are in it for the long haul.”

“Maybe we are,” David said, and oh fuck. Maybe they were.

“Are you going to propose?” she asked.

“What?” His mind whited out at even the suggestion of them… would Patrick want that? To marry him?

“You did always want to get married, David.”

“When I was young and naive and didn’t know that most people are terrible, fickle users.” But he thought about the wedding scrapbook from his childhood that he’d crammed into a suitcase on impulse when they’d been forcibly ejected from their house, the one that was now hidden under the knitwear in his cedar chest.

Alexis huffed, closing her magazine. “Yeah, but Patrick’s not. Patrick’s a sweetie and for some reason he loves you. You might want to lock that down.”

“Patrick’s been engaged before and he had an existential crisis about it,” David said.

“Patrick is gay and was engaged to a woman, so I don’t think that’s relevant.”

“Well, in any case, it’s too soon to… it’s too soon.”

Alexis shrugged.

“What would you do if Ted proposed again?” David asked.

“I’m pretty sure I ruined any chance of that happening. But who knows? Maybe I’ll propose to him someday. No reason I couldn’t ask him to marry me if I wanted to,” Alexis said, picking up her magazine and pretending to be interested in it.

“No,” David said faintly, not thinking about Alexis and Ted at all. “No reason at all.”

David’s conversation with Alexis about his and Patrick’s future was still on his mind at work the next day, which made Patrick’s grumpy mood particularly ill-timed.

“What is up with you?” David asked when Patrick thumped some of their precious merchandise down on a shelf a little too aggressively for the third time.

“I’ve been too busy to go grocery shopping and I was out of milk this morning,” he grumbled.

David winced, because he was pretty sure he’d used up a lot of that milk himself.

“And the stupid dryer in my apartment building ruined another one of my shirts,” Patrick continued.

“Well, is that really such a great loss?” David asked.

Patrick shot him a baleful look. “Really?”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Patrick waved it away and started heading into the back, then just as quickly swung back around. “Did you call the other contractors on the list about giving us a quote on the bathroom reno?”

“Ronnie’s quote is fine. I told you we don’t need—”

“David.” Patrick’s hands went to his hips.

“She’s our friend.” Which wasn’t exactly true — for some reason Ronnie’d never been more than politely skeptical of Patrick. But she was David’s friend.

“And conveniently, if we go with Ronnie you don’t have to call anyone else.”

“Excuse me, maybe I want to support another small business in town,” David said. “If it’s so important, why don’t you call the other contractors?”

“Because I’ve got a million other things to do!” Patrick shouted, his hands flung up in annoyance. “But whatever, do what you want.” And he stalked into the back.

Patrick stayed hidden away throughout the rest of the morning while David helped customers, his stomach in a knot and the press of tears behind his eyes. He hated when they fought. Fortunately it didn’t happen often, but David wallowed internally while he sold people jars of honey and hand-knitted sweaters and body milk.

He finally stuck his head in the back at a quarter past noon. “Do you want a sandwich from the café?”

“Yeah,” Patrick said, not looking up from the filing drawer he was searching through. “Thanks.”

When David returned, he walked carefully over to Patrick’s desk and set the styrofoam container down in front of him. “I told Twyla that you were angry with me, and she gave you an extra pickle.”

Patrick looked up, his eyes sorrowful. “I’m not angry with you. I’m sorry I shouted. I was having a bad morning and I took it out on you.”

David sat across from him, opening his own lunch container. “But I didn’t call those contractors.”

Sighing, Patrick took a bite of one of his pickle spears. “No, you were right. We should cultivate loyal relationships with other business owners in town. Especially since Ronnie’s on council.”

“Okay.”

They ate in silence for a couple of minutes.

“The store is doing particularly well this month,” Patrick commented, sandwich in one hand while the other still scrolled on his scratchpad. A crumb dropped from Patrick’s sandwich onto his computer keyboard, making David wince.

“Yeah?”

“Mm hmm. Between the new product lines and your summer series of events, we’ve raked in record profits.”

David drummed his fingers on the desk. “So will you pay that out to us as a bonus, or…?”

Patrick arched an eyebrow. “No, I was thinking I’d use it to chip away at the list of things we wanted to do to improve the store. The bricks need repointing, and you wanted that wine fridge—”

“Or we could take a trip,” David said.

“A trip?”

“Yeah, a trip. A vacation. You and me, a beach, rum-based drinks, and minimal clothing.” He shimmied his shoulders a little, although the effect was somewhat lost since he was sitting down.

“That’s a lovely thought, David, but it would be a mistake to shut down the store to go on vacation when things are just starting to go so well. We should at least wait until we can afford an employee or two to cover for us while we’re out of town. And I think we might be a year away from that, based on my projections.” Patrick’s eyes were still focused on his spreadsheet.

“So in a year…”

Patrick finally looked at him and smiled. “In a year or two, we should take a trip.”

And sure, it hadn’t been that long ago that David had used the phrase ‘five years down the road’ in reference to their relationship, but he still felt dizzy at Patrick so blithely making plans with him so far in the future.

“You’ll definitely have broken up with me in a year or two,” David demurred, a joke that wasn’t really a joke.

Patrick eyed him for a few seconds, and then stood up and came around from behind the desk. “Oh, I think the promise of rum-based drinks and minimal clothing will be enough to keep me around.” He reached out a hand and when David took it, Patrick pulled him to his feet. “We can start planning it, if you want. If the planning is something you’d enjoy.”

“I suppose that’s something I’d enjoy,” David said into Patrick’s mouth just before they kissed. It was slow and sweet, and David tried to ignore the fact that Patrick tasted like pickles.

“Why don’t you take the afternoon off?” David asked when their lips parted, his fingers kneading Patrick’s shoulders. “It’s been a while since you’ve taken some time off to relax.”

“I took an extra day off last week,” Patrick said.

“Yeah, and I came back to your apartment to find you working on the quarterly taxes at home. I mean, actually relax. Watch some porn. Read a book — and not a finance book! Read that baseball book you keep falling asleep on. I’ll take care of things here.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Mm hmm.” David kissed him again. “I insist.”

“Will you come over after?” Patrick asked, his hand squeezing David’s hip.

“Yeah.”

David floated through the afternoon on a happy cloud; he was even polite to Roland when he came into the store. It was equal parts relief that the small fight with Patrick hadn’t been that big a deal, and the smug satisfaction of having done something nice for his partner. At the end of the day, he didn’t even mind doing the tasks that he hated, like the bookkeeping.

When David slid his key into the lock of Patrick’s apartment and opened the door, the sparkling candlelight and the smell of something delicious cooking hit him simultaneously. Soft music was coming from the record player.

“I told you to relax,” David said, unable to keep his smile at the romantic tableau off his face. “Not slave away over dinner.”

“I did relax. And then by four o’clock I was bored and I decided to do this,” Patrick said as he poured red wine into two glasses, then he noticed what David was holding. “You got milk.”

“You said you were out.” David handed the jug to Patrick, who took it and put it away, a smile on his face.

David sipped his wine. “What did you do this afternoon?”

“Pretty much what you suggested,” Patrick said, pulling a roasted chicken and potatoes out of the oven. “Jerked off, took a nap, replaced that broken string on my guitar, flipped through the Netflix menu without watching anything, and then read my book for a while.”

“Sounds like a good afternoon,” David murmured, his brain stuck on picturing the first thing.

“It did improve my day enormously,” Patrick said as he put food into plates, “so thank you.”

“Any time. Well, not any time. The store is dull without you.”

They ate and drank and talked, and David thought again about what Alexis had said: that they were in it for the long haul. God, he was really starting to believe that was true.

Later, when they’d found their way into bed, Patrick’s hands were confident on his body, competent in the way he was when he operated a corkscrew or plucked his guitar. David felt a lazy kind of pleasure brimming over as Patrick touched him, a gentle thing that bubbled up as they moved together. They traded off using their mouths on each other’s cocks, slowly and without any need to race to the finish, just bringing each other pleasure for the enjoyment of the act itself, for the way it made the other man moan and gasp. The build was achingly slow until it wasn’t, until Patrick turned over onto his elbows and knees in obvious invitation.

David dragged out the process of preparing Patrick with his fingers until Patrick’s fists were clenched on his pillow, his voice ragged as he begged to be fucked. And then David kept at it a little longer still.

When he finally sank inside, Patrick was so keyed up that David worried he’d pushed things too far, that their orgasms would be too mistimed for them both to enjoy this as much as he wanted them to. But Patrick quieted as David fucked him, going to whatever place inside his head he went to stave off coming too soon. Then it was all long, slow strokes and David pressed against Patrick’s back, the sweat slick between them. God, it was a crime how good it felt.

“Harder,” Patrick finally said, finally giving in and stroking himself. “Please, harder.”

“I love you like this,” David groaned, his hips snapping forward with more force. “I’ll always want this with you. Always.”

Patrick had gone nonverbal, rocking back on his knees in time with David’s thrusts, and then he came and David could feel it, the pulses of it clenching around his cock, and he fell over the edge right after Patrick, his teeth against Patrick’s spine.

“Fuck, that was good,” Patrick slurred, collapsing onto his stomach once David had pulled out. They took turns cleaning up in the bathroom, a well-worn routine including comfortable pajamas and glasses of water before getting back into bed.

“This turned out to be a pretty good day,” Patrick said.

“We could go to Elmdale on Monday and I can help you pick out some new shirts,” David murmured, remembering Patrick’s morning frustration.

“You just want a mall pretzel,” Patrick answered, but then he leaned over and kissed David’s cheek. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

It was only minutes before Patrick was softly snoring next to him. David was wide awake though, lying still and watching him sleep, imagining what their future together might be.

[lost-n-stereo]

can we steal a moment of happiness

A/N: Harry/Allie New Year’s Eve AU. Prompt by @livinginrhythm

There are at least fifteen people in this room that he doesn’t know.

When he was sixteen it would have been exactly his scene because when he was in a room full of loud people it meant the shit in his head was a little quieter. Booze and pills, random girls that didn’t mind that he had a girlfriend when he kissed them, driving down an empty freeway at three am in a car that cost more than most people made in a year also did the trick.

His dad’s death fucked him up, in more ways than one, not to mention the news that his mom was screwing his girlfriend’s father barely a year later. Everyone looked at Harry Bingham like a rich asshole, which he was (is, sometimes even now) but no one ever really looked beyond that.

Well, except a feisty blonde that made him feel more in two days that anyone else ever did.

It’s been months since he’s laid eyes on Allie Pressman and it’s not as if he thinks about her every day or anything. But sometimes when he’s sleeping alone, which lately has been more often than not, he thinks about her in his bed, blonde curls spilling over dark navy pillowcases, and he thinks maybe he can still smell the perfume she wore in high school.

Luke and Helena are throwing their first New Year’s Eve party as a married couple, which he honestly thinks is a little fucking crazy because they just barely graduated from college. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready to settle down. He can’t even make a lifelong commitment to what kind of shampoo to use, let alone who will share his life until he’s fucking dead.

Somehow their entire group of friends managed to stay friends through their college years, even though they spread out literally from coast to coast at various universities. It doesn’t really surprise him that most of them ended up back in the area after graduation. All of their families have been friends for generations so it’s just a given that they all come home for holidays and vacations.

Helena’s parents gifted her and Luke a two story house as a wedding present, a couple acres of land and a wraparound porch, but instead of looking like a newlywed’s sweet little home it currently looks like a fucking frat house. Bodies are everywhere, red solo cups in sweaty hands, and he sees two girls making out in the corner while a group of idiots cheer them on.

He honestly thought he left this shit back in college but hey, what are holidays for?

“Harry Fucking Bingham!”

Hands hit his shoulders and he laughs as Grizz turns him around and pulls him in for a hug. “What’s up, dude?”

Grizz shrugs, takes a pull from a Stella bottle before pointing it at his boyfriend across the room. “Just drove in last night and then picked Sam up from the airport this morning. When did you get in?”

They make small talk, which he kind of hates, and catch up on all the stuff they’ve done since the summer. Harry spent Christmas in London with his mother, which was more of a business trip for her than anything resembling family time. They got back into town two days after Christmas and besides gifting him a new Rolex and the keys to his late grandfather’s Manhattan penthouse, his mom hasn’t said two words to him since.

He sees Cassandra standing in the kitchen, arm around Gordie who’s telling Kelly a story that makes her whole face light up with laughter. It’s hard not to miss her, they weren’t always great together but they spent basically all of high school as a couple but now their parents are together and it’s just weird.

Cassandra makes him think of Allie and he finds himself looking around, eyes searching the crowd for a mess of blonde curls and a surly attitude.

“She’s not here yet,” Grizz says, a smirk playing across his face. Harry raises an eyebrow and his childhood friend laughs. “Oh come on, man. I know you’re looking for Allie.”

He could play dumb or just own up to the fact that yeah, he had a thing with her for a very short time many moons ago and the last time he saw her it was through a diner window in the dead of summer. Kill him for wondering how she’s been.

Instead of saying anything though he just nods, drinks half of his bottled water in one go, and checks the door every few minutes as he’s joined by more of their friends.

It takes an hour before she finally walks through the front door but he doesn’t miss the way her arm is extended behind her, some too tall Hemsworth wannabe grasping her hand as he follows her into the house.

“Allie!!!”

Kelly, Helena and Elle all rush her immediately and Too Tall smiles fondly down at her, kisses her forehead and yells over the music that he’ll grab them some drinks.

He feels a little like he’s been kicked in the stomach but he has no idea why. They slept together two times over four years ago. He shouldn’t give a second thought to her bringing her boyfriend to a party. Then he thinks about it and if she’s bringing him here that means they probably spent the holidays together, with her family, and that means it’s probably serious.

Fuck. Why does he even care?

Her eyes meet his and its then that he realizes he’s been staring at her like a creepy asshole. His first instinct is to just smirk and nod at her, which makes her roll her eyes but he can see the tiny smile playing on her lips.

She might have always seen past his asshole ways but not too long ago she liked how cocky and confident he was.

Her boyfriend joins her after a few minutes, hands her a glass of white wine and joins the conversation she’s having seamlessly. It’s obviously not the first time their friends have met him and he’s kind of surprised no one told him about him.

Then again, no one really knows that they had their little two night stand so he can’t say that he blames them.

“Not drinking tonight?”

He turns around and Cassandra is eyeing his water bottle with a surprised look on her face.

“Nah,” he says, shrugging. “I don’t drink very often these days.”

“Not even on a holiday?”

Harry laughs and rolls his eyes. “New Year’s Eve isn’t a holiday. Just a good reason to party because no one has to work tomorrow.”

“Say hi to my sister yet?”

He’d really like to know why everyone just assumes he wants to talk to Allie.

“Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’ like a jerk. He doesn’t mean to be this way but the entire vibe of this night is just pissing him off. If Luke wasn’t one of his oldest friends he probably would have blown off the entire thing.

“You should meet her boyfriend Tommy. He’s a great guy, just graduated top of his class at Stanford.”

He nods and tells her that he’ll get right on that, thinks to himself that he’ll probably keep referring to him as Too Tall in his head, and seriously considers finding a bottle of scotch and making himself at home.

***

The best thing about this house is the wraparound porch. There’s a line of trees at the edge of the property and he lowers himself down on an Adirondack chair that looks straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.”

He doesn’t have to turn to know who that voice belongs to. Sometimes he still hears it whispering in his ear, an echo from long ago that never really seems to go away.

(I’m sure, Harry. I’m ready just…go slow.)

“It’s New Year’s Eve in West Ham, Al. Where else would I be?”

She’s wearing this romper dress thing that he hates immediately but her hair is down and messy, just like it always is. He’s glad to see that hasn’t changed.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

Allie sighs and sets her glass of wine on the table next to him before sitting down in the other chair. “Tommy is inside with Gordie, discussing the time space continuum.”

“Fascinating,” he says with a grin. She rolls her eyes but can’t hide her smile.

“Shouldn’t you be inside, celebrating the last few minutes of the year?”

“Shouldn’t you be with him?”

She’s quiet and when he looks at her she’s staring in the direction of the trees. “What do you think is beyond that tree line?”

He’s not going to make a big deal of her completely ignoring his question, especially since he ignored hers.

“I dunno,” he says, interest piqued at how she’s studying the landscape so intently. “Wanna find out?”

Allie looks back in the direction of the house. “I probably shouldn’t.”

Harry scoffs. “I didn’t ask what you should do. I asked what you want to do.”

“I don’t know,” she says, so seriously that he wonders what exactly she’s thinking about. “Do you?”

“Do I know what I want to do? Fuck, Allie. Not really.” They both laugh but he’s kind of serious. He graduated pre-law but the idea of going to law school gives him hives. “I just want to be happy, I guess.”

She smiles. “Is that your resolution this year?”

“Sounds simple, doesn’t it?”

He watches as she shrugs, takes a tiny sip of her wine and holds the stem gently between her fingers. “I think I have the same resolution. Just find a way to be happy, every day, if only for a minute or two.”

“Are you happy now?”

The wind blows her hair around her face a little and he realizes she must be fucking cold because it’s December in Connecticut and she’s not even wearing a coat. “I am, right this second.”

He doesn’t know what that means, if it has anything to do with him, but he finds that he can echo her sentiment without any trace of a lie.

“Me too.”

There’s yelling from inside, the countdown is starting (at twenty seconds to midnight because these people are idiots) and she sighs, stands up and runs her hands down her sides.

“We should head inside,” she says needlessly and he nods. She surprises him by reaching for him, giving him a hug and kissing the side of his mouth lightly.

“Happy New Year, Harry.”

“Happy New Year, Al.”

***

He hears through the grapevine that Allie broke up with Tommy shortly after Valentine’s Day.

It’s not that he cares but he does file the information away for later.

***

Summers after college don’t feel the same, on account of the fact that almost everyone has a real job and can’t just take three months off to do nothing.

After some serious soul searching he decided to forgo law school. He’s still not sure exactly what he wants to do but he’s got some irons in the fire in Manhattan, some companies reaching out to hire him so for now he’s considering his options and what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

Or at least for the near future.

There are a few people home though, and he smiles when he sees Allie walking down the street near their high school. He pulls his car over and rolls down the window.

“Want a ride?”

She startles at first before she sees that it’s him. It’s ninety degrees outside but she’s still in jeans and a mint green hoodie. “I’m not sure,” she says with a smile.

“You look hot,” he says, and when she raises an eyebrow he points to her hoodie. “A sweater in June, Al? I mean, come on.”

She climbs into his car, making fun of how ostentatious it is and he shrugs.

“What can I say, it makes me happy.” She’s hiding a smile behind a fist and he nudges her with his elbow. “What about you, Allie Pressman? Are you happy?”

“Right now?” She asks as she clicks in her seat belt. “Absolutely.”

[trishfullertonwriting75]

My Take On Writing Dilemmas

Ok, it’s heading for half five in the morning here, and I’ve spent considerable time on tumblr through the night in between doing other things. One thing in particular is jumping out of the screen at me - writers who have little to no confidence in their work.

Let me get on my soapbox for this.

As a writer who has been writing since childhood, and a proud mother of two boys who also write, I can give what I consider to be sound advice.

* Write for YOU. Not your friends, not the fans, not anybody else in the world, except you. YOU are the sole creation behind your work, and likewise only YOUR opinion counts.

* So nobody kudo’s your story or comments on it. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It either means you’ve blown them away to the point that they don’t know how to react, or they’re neither here nor there with what you’ve written. Either way, these people are never going to meet you in RL, so what does it matter?

* Maybe you’re following a story that has a hundred or a thousand comments. Great! But does that make it any better than yours? No. And that’s for one reason only - your story is YOUR creation, your child, your invention. That little idea that sparked to life weeks, months, or years ago has blossomed and grown, it’s grown legs and taken off running across the pages of AO3 or wherever you post. It’s making a difference to someone somewhere. Someone who might be having a really shitty deal in life and comes across your story, and it gives them a little smile or a sparkle of hope that keeps them going.

* You think your work is too dark for readers. I can assure you it’s not. If people don’t like what they are reading, they can hit the back button. It’s that simple. I’ve started reading loads of works only to find out my beloved Thranduil is a rapist or an axe-wielding maniac, someone who fucks women and tosses them side like yesterday’s trash or has mass orgies. I don’t leave negative comments, I just move onto something else. My point being that the story I’ve decided isn’t for me has been the creative brainchild of someone who put a lot of effort and thought into it, and that’s their right.

* Somebody has issues with your pairings and doesn’t like who you’ve paired your OC with. And? It’s not their story. It’s not their decision. It’s YOURS, and yours alone. If they don’t like it, tough shit. And if they start leaving abusive comments, politely tell them to fuck off and keep writing the story the way YOU want it.

* A reader (or two) is telling you what you should do with your story. Constructive criticism and inspirational ideas are very helpful, but since when did your story become theirs? It didn’t. If their comments continue, either block them, report them, or enable required approval for comments, depending on which platform you use.

* Lastly, before I sit back with a coffee and a ciggy before I head off to bed, I will give you the one piece of advice I gave my boys when they were growing up and struggling with their work. LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD. It’s the only thing in life that’s free, and nobody can take that from you. Turn it loose and let it run around like a fucking idiot, strap yourself in and go along for the ride. You’ll be amazed at where your imagination takes you.

Trust me.

@ao3commentoftheday a comment you answered inspired this rant!! x