#but soooo many people hate it when wild animals that are supposed to be out there eat other animals........

[lightnersdream]

i tihnk i have like pretty average opinions on animals and then i remember a noninsignificant amount of people actually believe animals are evil for eating other animals

[m4gp13]

For those of you who made it through my laughably incoherent ethabaster think piece, here’s some hc’s, you’ve earned them:

- Ethan has sole possession of their one shared brain cell. Alabaster is not allowed to even look at it. This is because they used to have two but Al broke the good one trying to blow up something (probably Percy).

- If Al finds out Ethan left without some form of magical protection i.e. a sigil, a crystal, ground eggshells, he will be pretty much vibrating with nerves until Ethan gets back so he can give him a once-over.

- Alabaster’s from a very witchy family who all worship Hecate for many reasons that differ depending on which estranged relative you ask and they all kinda saw Al as the first coming of witch Christ so he had a lot of expectations at a very young age.

- Ethan knows this and tries to lift as much Titan army business off his shoulders as possible.

- He accidentally lifts too much off to the point where he is drowning in work and is now the one in need of saving. But does he tell anyone that if he looks at one more stack of demands from his mile long list of bosses he’s going to cry for five hours? Of course not don’t be ridiculous.

- Alabaster immediately hated Percy as soon as he heard the guys name but due to the arena stuff and telling Thalia not to k*ll him Ethan actually held a bit of respect for Percy which annoyed Al to no end.

-This was until the not-so-peaceful peace talk in tlo when Percy starts shit talking Nemesis and Ethan just internally goes “actually the witch bitch was right this guy sucks ass”

-However, under no circumstances will Ethan ever tell this to Alabaster; not because he values his pride (he has none) but because he knows the life of a demigod is short and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his very short one hearing Al rub that one thing in his face for every single second of it.

- And I mean Every. Single. Second.

- So yeah he takes that to the grave and doesn’t even tell anyone in the underworld in case they tell Al when he dies and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his afterlife with Al being a dumbass. (also yes Ethan got into Elysium, fuck you)

- (Actually I have another idea about where Ethan went post-life but that’s so far from canon it’s more of an AU than a headcanon so we’re gonna leave that out for now)

- Al thought he was the one in charge of the Hecate kids because he was the most powerful and the highest ranking in the army but he was Not. That was Ethan. The Hecate kids thought Ethan was their unofficial adopted baby brother but little did they know he was the mum the whole time.

- Ethan is the only thing standing between them and starving to death. He also does the younger kids hair and gives everyone with long hair super intricate braids that stay out of their faces during “field work”. Al thinks this is more of him trying to take the weight off his shoulders but Ethan knows that if he doesn’t do this shit no one will so he kinda has to. Not that he doesn’t like doing it. being helpful is his love language.

 - Because of their powers over the mist the Hecate kids of the army were notorious pranksters who were usually at war with the Hermes kids (wars usually declared by Al because he rolled a zero on self restraint) but none of them prank Ethan because “nooooo you can’t do him he babey 🥺”

- Ethan has simply decided that what the magic prank wizards don’t know can’t hurt them and just turns to his blind side whenever he sees them sneaking off the ship to get Micky D’s in the middle of the night to stay on their good sides.

- Speaking of the ship, Ethan thinks it’s the dumbest thing in the world that one of their most powerful demigod enemies is the son of a sea god and he actually has a pretty decent relationship with said sea god and their main base of operations aside from mt Othrys is a fucking BOAT. He tells Al all about his worries for the ship and while Al assures him that nothing that bad could happen he always makes sure that the ship always has the least amount of demigods on board at all times just in case.

- It takes all the strength Ethan has not to yell “TOLD YOU SO” at him when the ship blows up.

- Al probably either wears basic white boy clothes or typical witchy stuff (like moons and shit) depending his mood meanwhile Ethan found out about leather and just goes for it.  

- Every grunge/punk/emo/eboy/teachwear bitch aspires to be him and because he aint about all that “gender roles” bs he definitely goes about wearing cool egirl stuff too. Not just slightly feminine shaped jumpers but all the plaid skirts, fishnets and lace trimmed dresses he can steal afford and Al, despite his more basic fashion taste is here for it. You’ve never seen someone more supportive of their pals fits, get you a hypeman like Al. You deserve it. (Ethan is also not afraid to walk around in a full pastel gamer girl fit)

- (Also Al hyping up one Ethans fits in front of a Titan is the reason they were allowed to start wearing army fatigues instead of the whole ancient Greek armour on occasion)

- Ethan appreciates Al’s enthusiasm but he also kinda doesn’t get it. And he definitely doesn't do that “yeah you’re right I DO look good” thing because he just doesn’t know how. He’d always been a little self-conscious about getting a big head but then he found out about Nemesis and hubris and all that fun stuff, looked at his meager pile of self worth and said “ yep, this has to go”

- Al almost starts crying when he finds out and pretty much makes it mission to be such a good hype man that Ethan has no choice but to think of himself as a Pretty Cool Dude via absorbing the hype through diffusion. It kinda starts working but then Ethan [REDACTED] in tlo so we’ll never know what could’ve been.

- To nick a hc from someone ( hi @chromarozee-spam) contrary to his taste in clothes Ethan does ballet (he was a punk AND did ballet, what more can I say?) and while Al tries to support his hobbies he is genuinely afraid both for and of him. “For” because “holy fuck that looks painful are you okay?”. And “of” because “are you sure those are bones inside you because I don’t think bones are supposed do that?!”.

- Ethan tries to assure him that no his spine is not made of rubber, broken bones or otherworldly materials so can he stop bothering him during practice please?

- This does not stop Al from making a million protection wards and constantly asking his deck if Ethan is indeed a Being of this Good Green Earth.

- Eventually his cards pretty much just tell him that he is friends with one bendy heck of a boi and he needs to fucking get over it so he kinda just,, ,,,,, , does.

- Again with the hc thieving (this time from @altorringtons) Al learning to use a two-handed broadsword so he can guard Ethan’s blind side and back in a fight *soft noises* just them trying so hard to keep each other alive because they love each other and they care about each other!

- They also sleep in the same bed whenever they get the chance (fully clothed ya nasties, they’re kids) and they just hug each other soooo tight because they just need to know they’re alright cos they always get pretty banged up in fights against campers or just monsters that are too much like wild animals to recruit. (What? Me? Projecting my desire to be intimately held by the closest person I have to family with their arms wrapped not tight enough to make me uncomfortable but tight enough to make me feel loved? Never! What on earth are you talking about?)

- Because Al is super stubborn and prideful whenever they have an argument Al can’t really bring himself to say he’s sorry so when he’s ready to apologise he just climbs into bed on Ethan’s blind side and cuddles him because he knows Ethan is super worried about getting attacked on his blind side so it’s like he has a guard or a shield.

- Ethan on the other hand just calls him a Rock Boy in a derogatory way until he gets over himself and apologizes but he really does love the fact that Al knows that about him and accommodates that.

- The thing they fight about most is how “heroic” the titan army is. Kronos’ brainwashing worked on Al like a charm and he fully believes that they are the rebellion and camp is the empire. Ethan on the other hand wasn’t at camp long enough for Kronos or Luke to really do anything but it doesn’t matter because Ethan really doesn’t give a shit if he’s on the “evil side” cos he just wants respect and he’s willing to do what it takes without a second thought of how people see him. If he thinks he’s doing the right thing but on the wrong side he can live with that but Al needs to feel like all of his side is on the moral high ground because that’s what Kronos drilled into his brain.

- Ethan knows that Al delusional when it comes to the non-existent heroics of the army but eventually he just decides to let Al believe the titans lies because that’s easier for him even if it hurts Ethan to see him being manipulated like that.

- Due to Ethan not giving a shit on the humanity of his bosses he gets punished a lot more often and a lot more violently than Al because they know that Ethan already knows they don’t care about him so they don’t have to sugar coat him but Al still believes that they’re heroes and his mindset needs to stay like that to keep him obedient.

- Also because I am  a Cruel Person By Nature I hc Ethan’s mortal family (which usually just consists of his dad) as meeting a not very pg13 end at the hands of a monster who wanted to nible on Ethan a tad which pretty much scarred him for life.

- SO, at the end of the battle of Man Hats Are In when Al looks around and sees that his whole family (that joined the titans) are dead! oh no! How sad! At least he knows someone whose been through the same thing so they understand each other and can help each other through this tough time together right? SIKE!

- so yeah Al learns Ethan d-worded in the worst possible way at the worst possible time and just looses it from grief. Loosing his family was bad enough but finding out he lost the one person he thought he would be able to confide in and heal with immediately after just really rubs salt in the wound.

- When the survivors start re-grouping to find someplace to hide until the gods forget about them Al just wanders off because it’s all he can do to not break down on the spot.

- He’s just wandering in a daze for a while and most people just assume he’s high but he snaps out of it and gets into anger mode when Lamia starts attacking him because he finally has something to do and occupy himself with even though it’s hard not to think about his sibling especially when Lamia keeps talking like they never would have died if she’d been in charge which is why she should totally just kill him and lead their siblings instead.

- His desire to have something to keep his mind off his family and Ethan is the first thing he thinks about when Claymore re-alives and immediately starts talking about doing research (yeah because that’s what you need after a long stressful day of fighting monsters and literally dying).

- Ethan keeps trying to cross the veil and help, even if he just sends Al a pleasant dream to help him sleep but contrary to what you might think from the name, the veil is really hard to cross so Ethan just has to bite his nails and watch his friend suffer.

- It gets easier to watch after Al and Claymore pretty much adopt each other because at least he has someone but they do still get into pretty scary situations.

- When they were both premortem they got paired up for a lot of missions for the titan army and they usually just tried to pretend they were on a fun road trip around America when they could and make fun of mortal shit together.

- At one point they were in a motel and the last people accidentally left behind one of Claymore’s books about death and they found it the funniest thing ever. Between a pair of in which one of their mum’s regularly goes to the underworld and one has been there himself they find mortal ideas of the afterlife to be very amusing.

- Alabaster has decided he would not like to share this with the class (Claymore) thank you very much.

- Also when they’re doing their road tripping Ethan knows all the best places to crash, the cheapest food places and the local gangs don’t bother them because between running away from camp and joining the army he just wandered around a lot.

- Like he’d just hop on a random train, take a nap and figure it out when he wakes up; he made a lot of friends this way too as well as his taste in clothes cos he didn’t have a lot of money so he’d just DIY some second hand punk shit. Al thinks he’s the Gandalf of the demigod world because he just knows everyone who might help them and everywhere they could spend the night. He definitely tells his siblings about Ethan being the closest thing they have to a wandering wizard and they fucking love it.

- Also because Nemesis tends to not have a lot of kids Ethan was the only one of hers in the army and Al felt really bad for him because his sibling were his favourite part about the army so he tried to include Ethan in as much as possible with his siblings.

- As an unexpected result Ethan ended up with a small army of super powered children to sick on the people who keep making jabs about him loosing in the arena battle.

- Al sometimes thinks he’s given him too much power but also he will fuck a bitch up if they make fun of his pals so he sees where his siblings are coming from and yeah those bitches had it coming. He also has a copy of bitchcraft.

- Ethan’s dad was the type to play “Stay With Me” by Miki Matsubara on repeat for hours and Ethan would probably enjoy the song but he’s heard it so often that now it makes his ears bleed and Al sometimes tortures him with for fun until Ethan starts throwing shit.

- To steal another hc from @chromarozee-spam Ethan has a thing for cats and one time Al accidentally gave himself mistform cat-ears and Ethan could not stop touching them. Ethan was just craning his head back uncontrollably grinning so much his face hurt. Al can’t bring himself to be upset because Ethan rarely ever smiles since he joined the army.

- Al saw Ethan crying over one of those video’s where people put their hoodies on backwards and put their cat in the hood so he made a mist cat and bought him a hoodie. Ethan of course started crying again but it was happy tears instead.

- Ethan is fucking tiny while Al is almost a foot taller than him. He wouldn’t mind so much if Al didn’t exhaust every opportunity to rub it in his face so he just starts climbing all over shit (especially tall buildings) half to give Al heart attacks and half so he can be like “Sorry? What was that? I’m so high up I can’t hear you. Can you speak up a little? Maybe get a ladder? Or taller?”

- Also I don’t know why but I hc Al as Texan. Ethan gets told about this “Alabaster C. Torrington” guy who knows latin, incantations and other magical knowledge and expects some fancy British guy so when they meet and Al speaks Ethan gets whiplash so hard he fuckin chokes.

- Al is also very casual and Ethan is pretty professional so when he meets this magic general with a straight back and the first thing that comes out of this assholes mouth is some “Howdy y’all!!” bullshit he just dies on the spot.

- Also because Al is texan he is very sensitive to the cold (I’m about 80% sure that Texas is one of the Warm states) so when he has to do stuff in cold places like the labyrinth or new york (idk about that one to but in every film I’ve seen that’s set in NY it’s raining for about 90% of the time) he complains about being freezing all the time until Ethan helpfully reminds him that he can literally make fire out of nothing, surely he can find a way to warm himself up.

- Ethan is also sensitive to the cold because he’s basically malnourished but he’s been like that for a while and thinks it’s normal so he sucks it up until Al notices he’s always cold. Ethan tells him it’s fine but Al is basically a walking electric blanket so whenever Al cuddles him to keep him warm Ethan can’t help but melt because he’s so fucking warm and soft and have you noticed I crave intimacy?

- Ethan started studying Greek myths vigorously since he found out he was a demigod and when he died he kept an eye and an ear out for Al because even though he wouldn’t be able to do anything it still reassures him to know what’s going on, HOWEVER, he was almost filled with enough malice to rip through the barrier between the living and the dead purely to beat an ass when he hears Al’s little “I don’t bother reading about worthless monsters like you!” jab.

- Ethan is very jumpy and fidgety to the point where Al is genuinely concerned and while Ethan assures Al that nothing’s wrong Al is still suspicious. Ethan probably would have told Al about it if it was because of anything but Kronos but seeing that it mostly is, he doesn’t because Ethan feels like Al will just take Kronos’ word over his and he’ll loose the only person he trusts in the army.

- Al doesn’t find out about it until way after the war when Kronos’ brainwashing starts to come undone because by then his mindset is a lot less biased in the titans favour so he can see things that he just unconsciously ignored before and is able to put two and two together. When he does boy is it a trip.

- Ethan is really bad at talking about feelings and stuff so whenever Al gets upset over something and Ethan has no idea how to talk to him he’ll just get him some rocks. One time Ethan found out about those heart shaped valentine boxes that are normally filled with chocolates but people put crystals in them and that just became his go-to for when Al was especially upset. 

- Al is only slightly better at talking about stuff but he can still get Ethan to open up to him which is good because Ethan isn’t very materialistic so it’s hard to make him feel better by buying him things and because someone needs to get Ethan to express himself in an emotionally healthy way.

- Also because of this they just can’t tell each other they love each other. Like they’ll barely whisper it when the other is asleep because they’re just so bad at talking about feelings. It wasn’t that much of an issue until after the war and Ethan gets k-worded and Al is left alone and sobbing over all the times he never told his loved ones how much they meant to him.

- But because this is a headcanon list; fuck that, Al saved Ethan with some sort of magic bullshit and they talk about how much they love each other all the time now because they can’t stand the thought of one of them dying having never been told how much they are loved.

[dooodle-bug]

Skool AU headcanons for my legion because it sounds really fun!

General:

-Olly and Olivia are apparently the oldest of the entire gang. They don't look/act like it, but they are-

-idk exactly what's going down but from context clues I presume it's supposed to be a high school?? I dunno but that's what I'm going to base it all off of for now.

-Olly somehow recruited a bunch of people younger than him and got them to basically worship him?? He's probably that edgy kid everyone is scared of/nobody talks to in which he says "No, you WILL appreciate me!"

-He probably saw the legion on their own and went: Yeah, you guys are gonna be my croonies now-

-Lucky for him, the legion seem to LOVE him unconditionally for some reason-

-The legion are all Normal People heights instead of giants also

Colored Pencils:

-Calls himself Jean-Pierre but everyone calls him just Colored Pencils-

-Quiet-ish. They're certainly not a talker, but they're also not super quiet either. Heck, that guy just spits insults all the time, like, their only mood is Bitter and it really shows as they basically hate everyone and everything. They're also just super proud. Probably a phase. Or hormones. Or both.

-Prolly a junior or so (prolly 17 or so). Instead of focusing on his work he draws but every time he gets a bad grade he cries. Honestly he's just a really insecure guy that needs to insult everyone or he'll be upset with himself-

-They're just tired all the time and drink coffee. They tend to overwork themself a lot and really just wants to sit down and cry sometimes.

-Takes art class but really, really hates the course. The only reason why he hasn't dropped out is because it was the best of the worst according to him. So during the class instead of doing the actual work he goes "screw it" and draws whatever he feels like.

Rubber Band:

-Awkwardly tall compared to everyone else in their class. They're a little insecure about it. Despite this they're still super duper extroverted and like talking. Like, a lot.

-They are THE theater kid. They're definitely in the drama club and probably the one who even started it in the first place. Like they are soooo big on theater n stuff it's crazy. They're also totally the kinda guy to just join all these clubs just because they can-

-They also like singing a lot. Usually they just hum or make up melodies while they work.

-Despite being such a talker they probably don't have many friends, just a bunch of aquaintences they deem friends. They're just known to everyone as the "loud, annoying theater kid who talks a lot". They don't know that yet.

-Ironically, they are sooooooo into the drama of everyone and everything. They could tell you the scoop of literally every piece of drama that went down in the school, even from before they even started attending. It's kinda like their own sitcom or something-

Hole Punch:

-High School Slacker(tm) Sleeps in class and has terrible grades and everything. He really honestly needs a nap or something-

-They're SUCH an introvert. They hardly say a word ever. They're the embodiment of The Quiet Kid. Like, they hang out by themself in the corner and everything. But once they're behind a door or have their defenses raised, they spit VENOM and if ever given a chance, they'll roast you pretty darn hard.

-Tends to wear headphones and listen to music often. Obviously, he likes 70s disco music and uses some old fashioned music player. He just blasts it and claims it helps him work but then 5 minutes later he just up and starts dancing instead of getting anything done-

-Despite being so introverted, when you get to know them, they're just a huge party animal that apparently goes wild at parties (in their fantasy). Claims to be the life of the party when really they're hiding in the corner.

-Really just hates school and work in general and would rather take a nap in the auditorium all day.

Tape:

-Gangster. School menace. He's a big trouble maker, doing a lot of troublemaker-esque activities. Also when entering rooms he jumps up and hits the doorframe.

-Does NOT care about school in any form whatsoever. Their grades are absolutely awful and they really couldn't care less. They actively skip classes, ignore the teacher, and probably got suspended and detention on several occasions-

-Honestly hates the world and everything in it, believing that everything is a huge waste of time. Mood is typically Anger.

-Class Clown and prankster. He goes outta his way to ruin other people's days because he thinks it's funny. He's honestly kinda a bully, but everyone still seems to like him anyways just because of his status or whatever.

-Oh yeah they're surprisingly popular. Prolly from being such a huge jerk that everyone loves them no matter what.

Scissors:

-Straight A student, high honor role. Spends most of their time studying or doing work, like, super duper smart. They're also basically a teacher's pet, someone who just loves enforcing the rules onto people.

-Honestly they just do everything to make them look good. They join all these clubs and be all stuck up because they know colleges like that sorta thing. Unfortunately, most other students do not and they do not have friends.

-You'd expect them to be all geeky and stuff, but no, they're really cold and edgy and kinda nasty to people.

-Hates everyone. Mostly people who are troublemakers and commit scandalous acts.

-If they ever screw up they go into hiding for hours and cry about it.

Stapler:

-Stray dog that lives outside of campus that Olly slapped a collar on and adopted.

-They're feral af. People have tried getting rid of them but it never works so they're stuck there like a dorm cat.

-Actively harasses and attacks students. Especially ones they have beef against or ones who don't like Olly.

-They have a pretty strong bond with Olly. He spends a lot of time with them and also feeds them on occasion so now they became besties.

-Eats outta the trash sometimes. Probably contracted a disease at this point.

Thank you to whoever read this whole thing!

[douwatahima]

Turns out I have some more feelings about the manga I finished yesterday. Not naming it so this doesn’t end up in the tags. Please don’t read this, lol. The fourteen year old version of me jumped out.

I think the thing that bugged me most about this last stretch of DN Angel is how much it felt like Yukiru Sugisaki was just...done with the whole thing. Like everything felt very rushed towards a specific, easy conclusion that didn't address a lot of the interesting pieces she had previously laid down.

Like, I remember reading those last few chapters before the eight year long hiatus and HOLY SHIT there was so much! The Dark/Risa relationship all of a sudden becomes an actual threat, not just to Daisuke/Riku, but to Daisuke himself! Satoshi completely lets his guard down around Daisuke, trusting that the person he loves will make this huge sacrifice for him, and when Daisuke refuses he POINTS A GUN TO HIS OWN HEAD. AND THEN WHEN HE GETS CAUGHT HE GOES OFF INTO THE FOREST WITH. THE. GUN!!! AND THEN!!!! RIKU FINDS OUT DAISUKE IS DARK!!!!!!!! IT'S WILD AS FUCK!!!!!!!!

And then we come back and a lot of this is immediately dealt with in a comedic fashion and we just move on. Dark and Daisuke don't talk about that Risa interaction. No one goes after Satoshi. Daisuke comes up with some excuse and Riku is satiated for now.

Then we got the whole dream circus arc. Which was honestly alright. I enjoyed Daisuke coming to terms with the fact that he cannot separate himself from Dark. They are one and the same, for better or worse. And honestly, at first I thought this arc was going to lead us somewhere interesting. Because if Daisuke and Dark now understand that they are a package deal, how do they deal with the whole Riku and Risa thing???? (The answer is they basically don't but I'll get there). I was 100% ready to love this arc and then they did...the thing and I...

Okay, look. Full disclosure, I've been a DN Angel fan since I was like, fourteen. It is linked to me in a way that can only happen when you're obsessed with something at the height of your awkward teen years. And the thing that continues to be my favourite part of the whole story is the relationship between Satoshi and Daisuke. They were my number one ship, not just at fourteen, but...honestly probably through all of my teen years. Like, remember when people used to make jokes on this website about someone asking about your otp and you pull out your binder of reasons? I literally made a Satodai binder. That's not a joke. They were it for me.

And, don't get me wrong, there was never a point where I honestly thought the manga was gonna have Daisuke leave Riku and end up with Satoshi. I dreamed about it, but didn't honestly expect it. BUT I loved the way the manga addressed Satoshi's feelings for Daisuke. This is someone who Satoshi treasures above all others. The person who makes him believe the world can be better. The person he would do ANYTHING for. Like, Satoshi LOVES him.

Which is why it's so frustrating to me that Yukiru Sugisaki decided it would be better for Satoshi to have a two second dream about Risa that changes all of his feelings instantaneously. Like, I'm not here to shit on Satoshi/Risa fans, and I'm happy y'all got your ship. Honestly. But, the two of them have barely spoken before this and then Satoshi has a dream and literally says, "oh I guess my feelings have changed now" like...two volumes before the end! AND THEN THEY DON'T EVEN TALK UNTIL THE VERY END OF THE SERIES. FOR WHAT????

It honestly just read to me as, the mangaka wanted to end the series and Satoshi continuing to be into Daisuke was too emotionally complicated to quickly wrap up so he loves Risa now. And hey, that clears up the whole Dark/Risa thing, right? I'll get to that.

ANYWAY, so then we jump into an elongated story about some past Niwa/Hikari drama which would've been fun if I hadn't been growing more and more confused as I noticed how few chapters were left and we were STILL ON THIS. Like, I love when DN Angel gives us fun new characters to talk about. Hell, the Freedert arc and the Argentine arc are two of my favourites. But, when you only have a limited amount of time...It just felt like this was something Yukiru Sugisaki was maybe sitting on for awhile so she didn't want to skip it, but she also wanted to finish the story as soon as possible so the ending comes IMMEDIATELY after which makes this whole arc feel...weird. Like...we could've spent our last few chapters on the characters we know and love but...instead...

Then we get to the endgame. So, quick poll, do we think the mangaka already had this ending in mind before the anime came out or do we think she decided to do the anime ending because she had no idea how to finish the story. I'm really not sure, but either way it felt soooo anticlimactic given that we've had the anime ending for almost 20 years. Like...what was I waiting around for if you were just gonna do the same thing????? And look, I honestly never finished the anime because I couldn't stand the way they chose to characterize some of my favourite characters (most notably Satoshi and Risa) and I'd read what the ending was and hated it lol. But I digress.

The thing about the ending that gets me most is that it all comes on so fast. Like, you wanna do the anime ending? Okay. Don't love the idea, but okay. BUT it all happens in like... 2-3 chapters. Like, all of a sudden the Black Wings is sucking up power from the artwork and, oh no, here comes Krad ready wreck shop. And then we, randomly at THE END OF THE MANGA find out Satoshi's adopted Dad is actually his real Dad and also he's a piece of artwork which makes Satoshi half a piece of artwork???? Why are you telling us this now???? Then Satoshi and Daisuke seal Dark and Krad into the Black Wings the end. Like...????? That's it?????

OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE HARADA TWINS ARE MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. HONESTLY PROBABLY BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE YUKIRU SUGISAKI FORGOT TOO SINCE THERE'S NO CLOSURE ON THAT?????? (Honestly, I'm laughing because I literally forgot about this fact until just now. AGAIN WHAT WAS THE REASON LMAO!!!)

Okay, so the story's done but where does it leave our favourite characters???

Daisuke and Riku have figured their shit out and are...presumably going to do long distance??? Idk, they never really address whether they're staying together or not as far as I can remember???? Like, this is the relationship I thought we would get the most closure on but ?????????

Risa just gets to be sad for awhile I guess. It's honestly so infuriating to me that we got this awesome moment before the hiatus where Dark asked Risa if she would love him no matter what and she says yes with her WHOLE CHEST and that's enough for Dark to almost, like, take over Daisuke's body permanently. Like, her love for Dark is as real as Riku's love for Daisuke but she's not allowed to have a happy ending like her sister. She gets to see Dark one last time where he kisses her and hopes she'll always be his best girl and then he flies off into the night while she begs him not to leave. Then, she gets to cry in the street, trying to remember him while everyone else is forgetting. Well, at least she has Satoshi, right????

But like, we don't even know if she likes Satoshi that way. There's been...no indication that she does as far as I know. And as he's hugging her, Satoshi is having these thoughts hoping she'll be able to remember Dark because he knows how meaningful he is to her. So their ending is LITERALLY Risa gets to be horribly heartbroken and Satoshi gets to pine for someone else who, at this point, doesn't love him back.

Like, once again not to shit on Satoshi/Risa fans but...is this the ending y'all wanted????? Because as someone who stans them both this just felt horrible. It reads as a feeble attempt to "pair the spares" (since in the story the mangaka wanted to tell, neither of them could be with who they originally loved) but, like, even then this is the saddest way to do that. OH! And once again, if Risa is moving, ARE THEY EVEN GOING TO BE TOGETHER????? Like, what are we supposed to get from this what is the REASON??????

And then there's Dark and Krad being stuck in the Black Wings for eternity. The biggest reason I didn't like this ending in the anime. Like, look. I get that you have to end your manga somehow. BUT if your plan was to reunite Dark and Krad in this way I don't understand why you would write a whole interaction, mere chapters before, having Dark say that that's the LAST thing he wants to do. HE SAYS THAT THEY AREN'T THE SAME ANYMORE AND THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO RETURN TO HIM. AND THEN HE'S FORCED TO DO JUST THAT. FOR. WHAT?????

Like, Dark isn't a villain. He's one of our main protagonists and has been this whole time. I get that in stories sometimes characters have sad endings. (I've already argued that I think both Satoshi and Risa's endings were bittersweet at best). But to have Dark say mere chapters before it happens that he categorically DOES NOT want to rejoin Krad and then force him to do just that feels like such a needlessly cruel thing to do to this character we're meant to love.

Once again, it just felt so much like Yukiru Sugisaki wanted to end the series as quickly as possible. I get her wanting to come back to it; she's kinda notorious for not finishing things so I get the impulse to just drive through and get at least one story done. But, it felt like so many things were skipped over or changed just because it made getting to the end goal easier and less complicated. Not addressing some of the cool shit she laid down before the hiatus, completely morphing Satoshi's feelings in a dream, writing off Risa's feelings for Dark, telling us all of the Satoshi backstory stuff at the last goddamn minute, giving Dark his worst nightmare as an ending, so many of these things done just to move things along towards a specific end goal as fast as possible.

Honestly, there's a part of me that wishes she hadn't come back and finished it at all. I was happy enough with the ending I had written in my head and would've preferred it to what we ended up getting ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway, to anyone who actually read this (and a part of me hopes no one does lmao) thanks for listening to me ramble. And if you're a Satoshi/Risa fan, uh, sorry I hated on your ship lol. You're cool.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh movie....2!

ruth and i watched the second hxh movie and that certainly was a movie

the title is already cracking me up lmao ‘the last mission’ THATS SO DRAMATIC. 

the first like 3 scenes feel totally disconnected like theyre from different movies vnjskdfnsdkflk

‘many decades ago’ vbhjdsfbajsdf that phrasing is hilarious somehow 

damn young netero just killed jeb bush 

ah look its our movie villains, starting their villain stuff

so i guess this is set around where we are in the series now - like, somewhere in this beginning part of the chimera ant arc where gon and killua are hanging w/kite. which is kinda funny bc they dont explain AT ALL how and why gon and killua are in this city suddenly hvbajdsfjskdjan

killua skateboarding makes me smile :’) love it 

IS THAT ZUSHI??????? AHHHHHHH MY BOY!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIMMMM HES A LIL BUFF 7 YR OLD NOW OUGHHHH HES GROWN SO MUCH...POWERFUL BABY....IM SO PROUD 

omg wing and bisky are here too!!! nen fam 

im so proud of zushi being a floor master omg....i love how the side characters progress and grow offscreen, separate of the protags, kinda like seeing pokkle again (rip tho, i think) 

LEORIOOOOO MY MAN!!!!!!! he really showed up for like 3 seconds then gets KOd and dumped in a sewer....STOP DOING MY MAN SO DIRTY GIVE HIM SCREENTIME..

ohhh so we’re doing anime die hard. kinda like the first macadamia movie 

that lady rlly just stabbed herself huh.

these antags look like theyre from naruto. main antag dude looks like about 7 different anime guys fused 

oh man netero got dunked on immediately Ls. gotta take him out so the protags can do the fighting 

gon and killua are so good. and also in love. epic 12 yr old romance 

KURAPIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lookin sharp in a suit. also just looking depressed as hell in general. KURAPIKA ARE YOU...GOOD....ARE YOU STAYING HYDRATED??? TAKING UR VITAMINS?? I DONT THINK YOU ARE. 

also i still cant believe kp is working for neon still...it rlly feels like they just gave up on life and just figured that staying there was fine or w/e

now the 3 protags are goin full die hard thru the tower...WHERE is leorio i cant believe they rlly threw my mans in a sewer like that smh 

these guys r rlly called ‘the shadow’ thats so edgy 

also i watched this like a few hours ago but im a dumb bitch so im reading thru the wiki article for the movie to remind me what happened, and apparently The Shadow(tm) was the black ops division of the hunter association, and they were later rekkt once they started w/the On...i so didnt get that while actually watching the movie vhdakjfhbskdfn thanks hunterpedia for explaining that one to me 

wooowww so the HA rlly just committed massive, morally reprehensible war crimes and then just sealed it all in a book or st and moved on. yikes id be mad too, generic anime dude villain 

so these three rlly just resurrected a dude by going into the desert and saying ‘hey we r emo can you give us some power and maybe anime jeb bush’ and that Worked 

now kurapika is fighting the dude in the control room and gon&killua are fighting Big Dude WHO BEAT UP ZUSHI!!!!!!!!! get his ass boys 

LEORIOOOOOO MMY MAN IS BACK FROM HIS SEWER ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!! ILY SIRRRRR 

and then he immediately gets yoinked by hisoka, who is for some reason in this movie. i feel like they were like oh yeah hisoka is like, the 5th main character/antagonistic force of the story so i guess he should be here. its hilarious tho bc he spends 90% of his already limited screentime in this movie just playing w/his playing cards and smirking. bastard man you just gooo awayyyyy

seeing beans again omggggg green dude u r great

also who the FUCK is that smarmy looking blonde at the HA HQ...i hate him already based on 1) his atrocious pattern-clashing fashion sense, and 2) his smarmy aura. he looks like hes never thought a thought in his life. ruth says he might be buddies w/ging which makes me hate him even more 

gon and killua....r dating. ty 

when gon and the bad guy start fighting in the elevator shaft and killua just kinda watches hvbajddfhbsjf hes like ‘oh the narrative demands that gon fights solo for a bit so i guess ill stay here’ lmao 

but then he saves gon with his physics-heavy electromagnet elevator clamp plan....smart baby 

then after they defeat the guy they just start chatting lol i love them 

ohhh shit the guy exploded, thats fucked up 

poor gon :( more trauma for the poor kid 

meanwhile kurapika fights an evil clone of themself. wow 

tbh kurapika could totally one-up these guys by being like ‘well ok at least you have each other, im the VERY LAST kurta’ 

its strange to see kurapika fighting w/the sticks instead of the chains tbh

WHO THREW THAT KNIFE AT THE GUY IT HAS TO BE LEORIO HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA REUNION HHHHH THEYYYYY

they are married tyvm 

kurapika is soooo not doin well like...please get some rest

kurapika referring to their ‘new friends’ hmmmm thats probably an actual canon reference since this doesnt get brought up again in the movie. probs referring to w/e kp is doing in canon at this point 

LEORIO USING NEN LMAOOO hes like pshhhh that was easy but internally hes like owww....sir ily sm 

damn kurapika rlly stabbed that guy w/a stick huh. rip dude 

ohhh shit its those drug capsule things 

KURAPIKA RLLY TOOK A BULLET FOR LEORIO HUH. I HATE IT HEREEEEEE

leorio best dude

wow so kp has to make an On covenant OR DIE...yeah i think theyll choose the die option 

squad reunion :’) even tho kp is like, dying 

gon is such a good boy :( ily baby 

leorio and kurapika are str8 up married ty 

final battle timeee

love how at this point in the story gon only has one attack so he has no choice but to keep doing that same attack (well, the 3 variations) over and over til st happens lmao 

lmao gon and kurapika are rlly on the opposite ends of the ‘On’ scale here w/kp willing to die rather than accept using On, and gon seeking out On for POWER and also VENGEANCE 

the themes of gon’s righteous anger on behalf of others continues...

the boys are rlly getting tossed around a lot this movie geez 

hh boy gon is now...PURPLE-BLUE 

oooh killua convincing the lady to chill out was cool - tho ngl i didnt realize she was still alive 

now netero can go ham. i wonder if he’ll finish the fight or if gon will 

uh oh gon is Extra Feral now 

gon: IM EVIL NOW

killua: NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH 

oughhh they love each other so much bro. fuck this 

gon banging his head on the ground and then killua jumping in between him and the ground....true love bro 

gon snapped out of it WITH THE POWER OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!! im emo and gay. thanks 

love how even when netero was younger he was still like, an old guy lmao 

and then the next day theyre all just back in heavans arena hbvhdahdfbjsakf who cares that the building just got hijacked? whatevs 

kurapika smiling a little and melody then smiling knowingly....melody is like Bitch I Know Youre In Love 

still kurapika seems like. not Right. pls get some therepy 

im glad zushi got to fight that guy like he was supposed to....and w/the nen fam cheering him on :’) 

THOUGHTS

its wild how they didnt really delve into the whole ‘war crimes’ thing w/the hunter association lmao. idk if this movie is canon so that might be why....they just brushed over the fact that the HA was like, running concentration camps and murdering entire groups of people. wild 

this movie was fun!! it felt more like hxh than the last movie, which v much felt like a generic anime movie. this one felt more in character. it did fall into typical anime movie tropes sometimes but the characters felt more like themselves here, espec w/the point of the story this seems to be set at 

like gons anger and all that - while it obvs comes from a place of love and kindness, he can get carried away sometimes...i feel like we’re gonna rlly delve into the negative impact of this in the CA arc and i am both so ready and not ready at all 

this movie was hella gay which i appreciate. love the gays 

all in all this was fun!! i wish there were more hxh movies lmao i love anime movies. well at least theres the musical LMAOOO im gonna watch that soon 

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[jeonsolar]

Miraculous Ladybug 2x16 Troublemaker *Commentary*

I’ve done this five? times. And some people like it. But I’m doing this simply because I find myself funny. And I need to empty my brain. So, I hope you guys enjoy my brain dump.

Ok. To start off, Thanks so much to @wild-mare-of-prosecution for giving me a link to this episode. Second, The Incredibles was awesome. 😊

Disney in Spanish? FB page is Russian? Episode in English? Wow, so multicultural.

21 minutes and two of those will be intro and credits? Sigh.

Who’s the villain again? Cuz this white dude seems like every villain in every movie ever.

Why is the mayor supervising the hotel? See? This is why the city is crumbling!

I don’t pity her because she signed up for that job. EVERYONE knows that’s how shity it is.

How French with all the kissing and lack of personal space.

Yo. Those posters make Jagged look more Jagged. That black shirt thing makes him look hot. Stop it with the 80’s clothes. Go simple and awesome.

I wish I had subtitles.

This show is about finding wives, right?

Fill my shoes?! What? That’s an entirely different show, and a bad name.

Only because he likes his adopted niece, Marinette. Also, those lace gloves are. . .  (doesn’t want to say but can’t help it) delicately feminine.

I agree Sabine. I agree.

Every homemade show like this that has real like people, they always look and sound completely out of their element. That’s how you know they’re not actors. Also, Marinette, stop being such a fangirl.

She uses the same stress reliever I do. It’s pretty annoying during exams. It annoys even me. But it also calms me down.

When. . . when did he make … the guitar? And … how? He . . . sucks … at … baking….

There’s signal.

Also, I know Asian people can be smaller than average, but this is a joke.

Holy FUCK! I thought they were going to put on Careless Whisper for a second there!!!!

Sabine knows, Penny does the same shit as Marinette.

Who is Adrien excited to see? Jagged, or the croissants?

MARINETTE? NOOO. No way. Adrien -Just a friend- Agreste, did not just say that…

*sings* Juuuustt aaaa . . . . friiiiiieeeeeeennnnddddd!

TOM HAS GREEN EYES? Girls really do go for their fathers.

I paused, and fucking shit, that hair on Tom looks so real -the beard-.

Marinette’s clumsiness deserves an award. That was impressive. Minimal effort too. 9/10

Upstairs and vague? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

… What’s with her screen saver? Did she have her computer recording Adrien while they were playing video games? That background is her room. I know someone else said it, but these are badly recycled screencaps. That could have at least made plain backdrops and they would have been believable.

If Marinette spent as much time finding where HawkMoth is as she does with collecting Adrien, Paris would be safe.

Play “Spot Random Pictures of Nino”, is fun. Which brings the question, they made random pics of Nino and they couldn’t do that with Adrien?

Adrien is dabbing in one of them.

After a throughout analysis of the pictures in Mari’s room I’m making the theory that Snapchat exists in their world and Mari just screenshots and prints Adrien’s feed.

Penny is so uncomfortable …. So am I. I don’t want to press play.

Plagg, you little shit.

Wait, how big is that house?

HOW BIG IS THAT HOUSE, THAT THEY HAVE TO REUSE THE STAIR ANIMATION?

ANOTHER FLOOR?

It would have been hilarious if Jagged had been dressed in the dress he’s holding. “Here I am modeling a Marinette original. Am I better than this model boy? I am a better model, aren’t I?”

R E S P E C T. ‘You heard the lady.” Well done Penny.

At least no one made a comment about her period. Also, is completely fair and about time she fucking put them in their place.

HOW DOES GABRIEL RUN A COMPANY IF HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME WAITING IN THAT ROOM FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, SO HE CAN DRAMATICALLY OPEN HIS WINDOW AND BE BAD?

Anime background again. Attack on titan?

I hate to admit, but I would have had the same panic attack. Social media is a bitch.

From that angle her hairstyle looked completely different and Mari looked more Asian.

What a strange lighting, it changes her eye color drastically.

“Plus, its too late already. The show’s live.” *marinette panics and looks at the camera* SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT AND SEND IT TO ME, ASAP! THIS WILL BE ALL I TEXT FROM NOW ON.

Sabine is a tiger mom and I L O V E IT! Also, Tom appears to be slightly intimidated by the tiny tiger mom.

Sabine is the best mom in the world. Tiger mom, kung fu mom. Caring mom. What else? Ultimately the most B A D A S S MOM IN THE WORLD.

Does… all of Paris have that same security system from Gabriel’s mansion? If so, why was Gabriel so confused by Chat knowing that that mansion had a security system?

What are you talking about? It’s perfect. You are already at the scene of the crime.

Adrien… that was lame.

What if Plagg only likes croissants because it reminds him of Tikki cuz she lives there… I’ll leave that one there for you guys.

Chat… You’re lucky you’re cute.

NO WAY HE LANDED LIKE THAT.

Sometimes I forget he does call her Bugaboo, and that’s not a head cannon.

No. I love Bugabo-

…. What if that was Astruc asking the fans to stop calling her Bugaboo?

Huh? My cat senses are tingling!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is Ladybug offering Chat Noir a tour of Marinette’s room? Why is Ladybug so uncomfortable of anyone seeing the pictures? Shouldn’t that arouse Adrien’s suspicion?

When teens hide pictures under their bed is because they do a solo bow-chick-a-bow-wow with them. Marinette has hit puberty. I don’t judge.

*Double checks Mari’s ‘porn’ stash* Adrien boxes?

JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PICTURES? AND WHY ARE THEY HIDDEN?

Nope. Concussion.

No way she’s that fast. Is ladybug frozen?

*Careless whispers plays in the background as LB and CN hold hands*Fun fact, I actually sang it as it was happening. I don’t kid when I say these are things I say outloud as I watch them.

This is a cool shot. I like it. The focus thing? I like it.

How does he dream it? Does Adrien also write fanfiction about how it will happen? Is Adrien hidden amongst our fanfiction writers?

Are you kitten me, Chat? You are gonna judge her?

Hahahaha, Like a gun. That’s funny.

What detective movies do they watch?

So they glued her to Ladybug…. And they earrings too? Does that mean Marinette can never take them off now? Wouldn’t it be smart to also do that to Chat?

Penny: “What… what happened? Where’s Jagged?”

Ladybug: “What happened? You fucked up my room, my life, and almost my secret identity! That’s what happened?”

Chat and Penny: O.O

Ladybug: “…. I mean…. You’re always so helpful…~”

How… she… she’s gotta stay. A…. and he gotta go….

Chat: “You’re the girl of my dreams.”

Ladybug: . . . . fuck off *pushes him off the balcony*

Smooth LB, smooth.

He’s British right?

Now that! That sounds like real Paris. I like that background sound.

NILYA!

…. This . . .. this looks a lot like that little joke I wrote a few months back…..

Also, Adrien, your sneaky chat is showing.

Adrien looked mad at Mari interrupting him. Adrien, your chat is showing.

Ok. The animation of their eyebrows was soooo exaggerated that they looked angry when they are supposed to be like …. Concentrated, or confused. Make those eyebrows smaller.

THIS IS INTENSE! ADRIEN IS GETTING SMART . . . AND SASSY!!

JUST A FRIEND MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA 8D I AM SO NOT PANICKING AT ALL!!! HAHAHAHAH -Marinette

Adrien your douche is showing.

Also, Adrien, shut up Chat noir. Adrien doesn’t know she hides them under her bed and sofa.

J U S T    A    F R I E N D

Mari’s boobs got bigger. Yes. I did notice. And if there is continuation to that I’ll accept it. She is in puberty.

Isn’t… isn’t that a parallel to another scene? It feels similar to the umbrella scene. The angles.

Tikki did us a favor of reminding us that Marinette is getting better at talking to Adrien. Thanks Tikki.

I just now realized the page I’m in is not facebook. But it looks like it.

----

I.... really like this episode. Ok , so here’s the deal. My brother got a microphone. If you guys want I can record these. Truth is, a lot of my commentary gets lost because of typing. I’m fast, but not THAT fast. I could try and do it like cinema sins.  And it could help bring back the timestamps. Your call. :)

 Thanks for reading.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #163

i’m too tired to think of song lyrics rn.

Do you have a little sister? Yes. The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  In her actual presence, I think once? Over a phone or Skype, like... two or three times. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? SO MUCH. It's part of why I struggle to fall asleep. Brain doesn't stop. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? That's the story of my fucking life. Romantically, just once. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Definitely not. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. Does virginity matter to you? Not really anymore, no. So long you gave it up to someone you sincerely loved and were smart about it. Do you know anybody who was abused? A few emotionally. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? YEAH. The only case in which it does't bother me too much is when I've been a *truly* s/o with you for a while. Like if I'd go beyond just kissing you, it shouldn't be a bit deal to just drink after you. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Does anyone not, really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? YEAH. Are you good at admitting your problems? Pretty easy for me. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Once. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Not really anymore!! I get down, but I never have the urge to just give up entirely. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger signing up for websites lmao. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? Maybe? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? No. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? I mean I fed ducks bread as a kid/before I knew it was bad. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Die. Some things aren't worth living after you've done them. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? YES!!!!!! BOTH SIDES COULD LEARN SO MUCH!!!!!!! AND PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT THEM MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Who did you last fall asleep with? Sara. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Dark blue. Who were you last in a car with? Nicole. What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Have you had “the best night of your life”? Eh. Probably not. Toilet papered someones house? I'm an adult. Who was the last person you high-fived? Probably Aubree or Ryder. Or the girl Colleen watches. Do you own a romper? Noooo, not my thing. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Blue circle. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Pool. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Oh fuck that shit, I was afraid of porcelain dolls and still am. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No. If not, do you want to start a business? Well I wanna be a freelance photographer. Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Don't have the motivation. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Sleep. Do you like trees? Yeah! What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get." What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? LIGHT PINK. Happy and soft colors! Do you think you are pregnant? That's impossible. Do you like the ocean? Yeah. You wouldn't see me deep it there, but I mean, it's cool. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently not. I guess. I asked Juan, Tyler, and Sara, BUT only because I knew they liked me. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YES I FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND IT'S JUST CUTE!!!!!! Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Dad and I may go see another soon-ish, but I doubt it. We both think The Meg looks good. What are you listening to? I swear I go back to binge "Cool Patrol" by NSP like every other month. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Once, and I can pretty much guarantee this one's gonna hit that mark. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? If I could open the damn thing. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? No. Do you still own a VCR? No. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. Do you own a nightgown? No. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? I can't stand Kanye, because y'know, he's a god-complexed dick. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No. When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? I'unno. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? I hate tacos. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? One of my very best high school friends recently revealed she is and I am soooo fucking excited for her. Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? If we were both single there is one (1) person I probably would fuck I hate myself like a lot and I am a hypocrite. What’s your favorite thing about spring? Just the flowers. And that's it. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? No, & that would be a blinding display. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Kinda? The goths, emos, metalheads, and scenes all kinda. Naturally came together. Most knew everyone's names and we kinda had this unspoken bond with all the others. We always sat together at lunch. Have you ever given blood? Yeah. I'd actually like to do it again, I think, with me drinking a good amount of water now. Do you like the way you grew up? The only thing I'd change is I wish chores were more firmly enforced. I don't do them enough, and I'm approaching 23. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Write. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Well, mine? But once married I'd definitely get it changed to Sara's. I will not doom her with mine lmao. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? No. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? I wasn't bad at basketball last I played. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? Not the very recent future. A house/apartment will probably be rented first. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Disney World. What's something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I'm hard to get to know due to me fearing judgment. I can be very defensive if you push me to talk about some things. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Jason had more of a goatee sometimes. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? I don't want kids. If I did however, I probably would. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? One semester of Latin, German for four semesters. Do your parents have gray hair? Yeah. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? Uhhhhh I guess "E.T." What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? I haven't acted on it yet, but I made the decision that I would make a sincere effort to fight AvPD and be way more open about myself. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Met Sara. What is your favorite Starbucks' drink? I don't go there. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? Vocational rehab, Mom, Colleen. Do you like Skittles? Yesssss. Do you blow dry your hair? No. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized by Mark Fischfuck goddammit What song is the catchiest song you know? Hmmm. I suppose maybe "Bad Romance," because I can enjoy like, ANY cover, as well as the original. What is your greatest life accomplishment? Healing. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? VR. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? I haven't read any, never watched any. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Yes. Do you own any records? No. I wish. Something I'd love to collect. Who was the last guy you called? Dad, probably. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? "Black Rain" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Black Album" by Metallica, and "The Ascension" by Otep. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? Uh I dunno. I guess having blue eyes??? Idk. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? I cut her ass out and ignored her. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Hardcore making out. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Hand holding. Or tight hugs. What do you think about anime? They have some of the most interesting stories, tbh. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? Someone whose posting content changed and I didn't enjoy, probably. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? The only one I know of and care about is Metallica in January. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Never had potato, but I don't think I'd like it, so. I don't really like chicken noodle, either. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My damn knees. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? I'm not an animal. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? I'm not sure. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? It's absolute bullshit. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? You literally cannot convince me 9/11 wasn't orchestrated by the government. Stupid one, lizard people. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Urgent care. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? Permanently, absolutely, kick Colleen out of my life. I know it was the right choice. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I took a quiz out of boredom before, and I got Hufflepuff, very closely followed by Gryffindor. However, some questions were hard for me, as I know pretty much nothing about the series. So, don't know stereotypes either. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Skydive. Don't have the guts. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Ha, mental hospital. What was the last thing you quit? Meat. Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Duh!! And I dunno, really. I see us as equal. I don't really know which I'd go to first if both were in a crisis or something. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed? I don't even want to say what I weighed at the end of '16. The least was ~120, what I'm desperately trying to get back to. @_@ What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? *shrugs* What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? Mexican food came to mind. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Currently I do a 16-hour fast every day and then I'm also a vegetarian. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? Politics. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? Well, RP. You put all the shit I've written together, and it'd probably be longer than the Bible lmao. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? OTHERS. I GET LONELY. What scares you about getting older? Feeling the physical effects. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? I don't think anything, really. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason knew everything at the time we were together. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? I like unnaturally colored hair most, so... but for "normal" colors, black. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I would *actually* kick him in the dick if he had the audacity. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Metallica with Mom. What is your favorite social networking site? Facebook for the sake of keeping up with people, Tumblr for entertainment purposes. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? No. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? Deeefinitely not. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans anymore period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? I'm not in school. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Nope. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No, even though I know I'm very clingy. Do you like vitamin water? I've never tried it. Do you think too little or too much? Waaaay too much. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? Lake. Do you ever keep arguing when you know you’re wrong? It can make me feel embarrassed, but in most cases, I'm quick to drop it. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck considering she knows I'm not with a guy. Are you ticklish? Ugh yes. What do you think of dating websites? They work for some people, but, in general, I don't think they're the greatest idea when you consider how many desperate people there are. Now yes, there's most certainly sincere ones, but. I think you'd have to do some fishing to find the right person. Which show is better: SpongeBob Squarepants or The Fairly Odd Parents? Duuuude the latter. Show was dope my dude. Think you could cut off your own foot if it meant saving your leg? To save my leg, I think so. Well... I dunno, I guess it depends on the situation. I'd be concerned about blood loss. What is the worst thing about having a pet? Knowing they'll die. Have you ever actually seen someone fall on a banana peel? No. Do moths freak you out? They're absolutely beautiful to me, but at the same time, the size of their eyes are a liiittle bit creepy. Did you ever cut your own hair when you were little? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Who last messaged you on Facebook? Bethany to let me know when the new wedding date was. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both twice. Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No. Does your family eat dinner together? Almost always. What was the last video game you played? Silent Hill 3. Have you ever touched a shark? No. Do you prefer writing in print or cursive? I write mostly in cursive. Do you have any family traditions? Like what? Not that we still do. What is the best time you’ve ever had with your family? I'm not positive. Maybe some summer days when we'd all be swimming and cooking out together. What’s the scariest experience you’ve ever had? The night of the breakup. No overdose or panic attack or anything was scarier than when I realized he was leaving. What’s your favorite computer game? World Of Warcraft kms. What’s the biggest mistake people make on the first date? Just my personal opinion, but some people get sexual way too fast. If you're looking for an actual, long-lasting relationship, you have to connect more emotionally. Do you get turned on easily? It depends on who you are, definitely. Some people can't do anything, yet another person can do the same thing and I'm turned on in an instant. Do you still like to color? Not especially. What’s your favorite children’s show? Pokemon. Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? Metallica has some badass designs, but I don't know. Eh, actually, that may be something I'd get whenever my mom passes away considering her quote, "All I need in life are my babies and Metallica," and I think she means it lmao. No one loves them more than this woman. Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened? The biggest crush I had that didn't go anywhere was on Sebastian in high school, but I don't know about "so much?" Like I wasn't desperate to be together. Has the last person you kissed met your family? My mom, Dad, and Nicole. Hopefully Ashley and the kids if her husband doesn't wanna be a homophobic shit. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my dad. What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? I was in the worst state of my life. Approaching my suicide attempt, so I was having the thoughts badly by that point. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I better be a skinny legend with bomb-ass hair and more tats, boo. What would be number one on your bucket list? Touch a wild meerkat. Probably a pup above all. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I dunno. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? Lol how old is this??? I used to. Do you call anybody ‘baby’? Literally all my pets and Sara. Where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Uhhhh I guess somewhere in Disney World??? Are your parents night owls or morning birds? I guess the latter is more accurate. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Somewhere online. I found it on Facebook, don't recall the site it led to. Are you easy to get along with? I think and hope so. I'm very accepting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time. What’s your biggest passion? SPREADING POSITIVITY!!!!! Have you ever thrown your phone in anger? I believe I might have once when Jason and I were arguing?? If I did, it definitely wasn't that hard. I have a vague memory of throwing in onto the carpeted floor.

[crystu-cii]

Of course!! 💕💞💕💕💕💞💞

What a MOOD XDD OKAY I FEEL YOU ON THAT ONE SHOT THING TBH- LIKE IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO GET TO THE GOOD SHIT ILL JUST GET BORED YALL--

wHEeze okay mood-- I actually went in my backyard with a mask on today(not intentionally, my sister sprayed febreeze and I'm sensitive to fragrances soo-- but the entire time I was like "wtf I'm telling crys about this later" XDD

XDD YEAHHH-- XDDD oms MA'AM GO GET SOME SLEEP WH..... TAKE A NAP MISS......

XD also baby jail- puts a laundry basket over him- there now I'm safe-- dangg never had a pet?? I recommend a dog(specifically shelties/sheltie mixes!! They're beautiful and playful!! And the type of dog I've had all my life :3) I.. ban?? Like ban ban??? Wh????

I am! XDD I'd (at least probably) say something if I wasn't-- of course!!!! 💞💕💞💕💞💞💕

Me too!! I miss hanging out with them :/ but so many live super far sooo :,D OH DEAR-- yeah nonononoooo-- Do Not-- YEAH better safe than sorry nO--

I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE PUMPKIN AND CHERRY PIES WERE DELICIOUS, HAVEN'T HAD THE BIBLE YET- AH YES PHONE WERE EATING A BIBLE HOW COULD I THINK IT'S CALLED A COBBLER-- XDD WH- HOW DARE SHE INSULT PUMPKIN PIES LIKE THAT-- /HJ it sounds fairly weird but hey if it's good than cool!! XDD

BUT tREEeEeeE!!!!! DO YOU NOT ENJOY DRESSING UP??? WHAT ABOUT THE CANDY SALES DIRECTLY AFTER???? WH-- AAAAAAAH HOW COULD Y'ALL-- XDD

Yeahh, I decided not to take any more creative classes in school anymore anyways--they don't suit me at all-- OH DANG-- YALL REALLY OUT HERE PISSING OFF THE CHOIR TEACHER??? DAMNNN-- XDDD YESSS-- awwwwhh :( oh well, on steam you can mood games sooo-- if you haven't asked for it, I recommend the portal games 👀 they're SO GOOD and I'll simp for both Glados and Wheatley, don't test me (unless you're Glados or Wheatley) /hj BUT THEY'RE SUCH WELL-MADE CHARACTERS-- BUT VALVE CAN'T COUNT TO THREE SOOOO-- (but there is a cool portal 2 mod coming out in April 2021(plus another from the past I think!) that looks incredibly promising!!!) and oooooohh I actually haven't seen much about it 👀 but from what I have seen it looks fun!!!!

opens calendar app-- can I just say it's so rare to meet people born in the early months-- like January and February, especially SO EARLY in the months of just unheard of XD I have a singular other friend born in January, on the 21st-- and I knew a girl who was born February but like I don't really like her or know her well so she doesn't count--

lEGITTT LIKE- im OUTTA HERE- xDDD

and omgg XDD im lowkey sensitive to fragrances to- when its too much and all- like i would only spray myself with perfume ome to three times while my mom is here doing like tWENTY SPRAYS AND IM LIKE "hEYo BRO I CANT B R E A T H E" /nm- its wild XDD

AND LEGITTT My mOm NEEEDS SLEPPP- quarantine has ruined her so hard- its ironic- I M supposed to be the rebelious one- XDD

WHWHWHEEZE B AB Y JA I L- XDD and yeahh- well my brother has an aussie dog (the one i said their name was also astro xD) but sometimes im just like- "yeah- thats my dog too-" i even mentioned it on a introduce yourself assignment for school xD and omg i dont know my dog types but i searched up what sheltie dogs look like and OMGG???💞 YESS A FLUFFY DOG I always dream of having a dog soo fluffyy- but i expect that it would be a pain to clean up the fur all the time XDD and well i MeAANn- not really ban but like- whenever i speak about pets at all to my mom- it would go like- me: we cant even have ONE pet? | mom: no | me: how about a fish?? | mom: wELL ***-BRINGS UP EMBARRASING ACTION I DID AS A TODDLER-*** ) so i just assume thats her way of saying- no fish. XDD

and phew thats good! the least thing i'd want is make you uncomfortable in any way ;w;; 💞💞 gosh- even hanging out with friends is like russian roulette- XDD before covid and all i would always go to Larie's house every single weekend because my mom would always go there every weekend to play mahjong (its a little gambling game) and i would just be like "YEAH IM COMIN TOO-" - like OMG- literally friend's moms being friends with your mom is just the definition of LIFE GOALS- and it would be so fun every time i go there too- my mom would play with them till midnight or literally up to 3 am- so me and larie would just do the most wackiest stuff- along with eating loads of snacks and watching random shows or anime XDD ahh its only months ago since it stopped but it already feels nostalgic xD

awh NoW I WANNA TRY PIEEEESS- AND ABHAHAHAHA "HAVENT TRIED THE BIBLE"- I GOT SO CONFUSED WHEN I FIRST READ THAT XDD phone: its the BIBLE | astro: its a cobbler— | PHONE: YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY? ) XDDDD

and LEGITTT- WHENEVER we ask them "hey what you gonna dress up this halloween" thEY woULd JusT Be Like "huh halloween whats that--" XDDD but they end up trying to celebrate it with us at the very least- xD anD YEAP WELCOME TO WHEN its the time of the year where the month names start ending with "ber" aka CHRISTMAS CHAOS TIME- /hj xDDD

mann for my school we had to choose between three music electives- band, orchestra, choir- i chose orchestra and it was AWESOME- until it was my last year and THE FUCKING ORCHESTRA TEACHER QU IT (it was reasonable actually- she had a sickness) and the cLASS JUST TURNED TO SHITITITHKAHTLQJF I HATED IT it came from my favorite class to the WORST in an InSTANT im SOBBING- but even the whole school is just utter bull- during that same year- i had six classes(a teacher for each) and guess what- THREE OF THOSE TEACHERS LEFT- LIKE EXCUSE YOU?? my 2020 was already RUINED before even COVID CAME like WTHHH- so yeah it was crazy- at that point we were all in despair and the school became more ghetto than it was before(everyone would keep saying "wErE In The GheTtO RATTATATAAA" every time we reach school grounds- its funny cause its true- XDD) yeah its crazzyy

and Oh YEHAH the mods are sickk- mods make my dont starve together gameplay so much better xDD and ooh i have seen portal before but i never actually played em- i think i was watching the walkthrough of both games just to try to learn what the game was about- but in the end- i forgot everything from what the heck our objectives of the game was other than to solve mind blowing puzzles- XDD but cAN i JUST SAY THE SONGS ABSOLUTELT BOPPED THO? THE ENDING SONGS STILL ALIVE AND WANT YOU GONE GOT ME LIKE in TEARS to how good they were- like i jammed to them for a long ass while xDDD and ohhh i never seen any portal mods before! i didnt even know portal mods were a thing but that sounds SICKKK

and omg xD and wth- now that you mention it- like- SAMEE?? real life wise- the birthdays are scrambbled up- but lately on tumblr almost everyone has their birthdays around the the "ber" times and this has now made me realize it- like omg- XDD

[crystalnet]

My Top 10 Video Gamesss

I'm really bored so I'm just gonna do this, fuck it. Top 10 from a guy whose genre of choice is the action-(J)RPG, of which makes up about half this list. I'm gonna try to keep it pretty short and sweet, cuz like who cares, like why am I even doing this who cares. (Digibro says text-blogging is dead, like I need to make videos but like who would want to watch the video of some rando listing things either? Idk, like I don't really get any motivation for anything anymore. But I do like games/JRPGS soooo.... without further ado...). Also I'm doing a 1-game-per-franchise rule 'cuz otherwise it'd be largely Zelda and Final Fantasy because I have good taste, am sheepish and bland, and overly-content with the same 2 franchises. But yeah, I'm digging a little deeper here. 

1. Zelda Breath of the Wild-

This may seem risky, audacious and possibly even sacrilege to put a game that is only like 5 months old on this list, but really this is the only game that I could really confidently put on my top spot. I think this game is just about perfect, and even though its not technically my genre of choice, it comes pretty close to a JRPG, and yet feels more pure than that, and somehow even deeper in a way. I'm just astounded by everything from the mechanics, to the presentation to the flow of this game and more. But especially those things probably. The "flow" of this game for example feels so fucking organic and open-ended that it essentially feels like no other game I've ever encountered. You can wander for hours semi-aimlessly and still have an amazing time and work towards progress. 

The climbing/paragliding thing is just about the coolest mechanic I've ever seen or played in a game and works as a really amazing foundation for one of the underlying aspects of this game, which is sheer unadulterated exploration. And I was saying it somehow reminds of a JRPG even tho it's Zelda and that has everything to do with the deep item-management and collecting, the deep cooking/crafting system, and the huge array of weapons which all transform the combat from being vanilla-as-fuck as it was in previous console Zeldas (barring Skyward I suppose) to really cool, challenging and pretty dang deep, for a Zelda game at least. And that, along with so much of this, including the incredible different experimental non-linearity of it, make this unlike any other than Zelda save the first, revolutionary entry. A lot of the depth also has to do with the crazy deep physics. Did I mention the physics?? And though there's only like 5 dungeons (I easily count Hyrule castle, and this is not including 120 shrines and the various fortresses/mazes), they're really ace and easily rival my favorite Zelda dungeons in the way in which the structure of the dungeons must themselves be manipulated in order to solve their puzzles (my next top 5 is gonna be Top Zelda Dungeons btw..). 

So yeah, this game is just freakin' incredible and this iteration of Hyrule is probably my favorite game world of all time. Every inch of it is beautifully lit, realized, and filled to the brim with little puzzles, shrines, formidable foes and questing galore. Also the horses. The horses are sick. And yeah, climbing to the tops of mountains and paragliding down (or later using Revali's Gale to ascend rapidly) is the most free I've felt in a game since the weirdly amazing web-slinging in Spider-Man 2 (PS2). Also the difference between how weak and basic you feel at first to how you feel toward the end when you have the Master Sword, a crazy good arsenal of weapons that you've curated, all the spells and Shiekah slate magic and all the amiibo-dropped gear attained from an illegal/frowned-upon amiibo deck is freakin awesome and even cooler than the dynamic progression of something like Dark Souls. And the whole first 10-20 hours or so of a new file are especially “special” to me. Not that it gets less fun-- in many ways it gets more fun as you get more capable and experienced-- but the Plateau segment is a master class in tutorial segment design, and the way you learn to live off the land is kind of incredible... There’s this whole Buddhist-esque anti-attachment thing the game forces you to accept regarding early weapons breaking all the time that help make you depend so heavily on scavenging and exploring and always looking for more loot just so that you can survive. You really learn to live off the land, and well that’s beautiful. And everything about all the various mechanics and the world feel so holistic and cohesive and unified in a way that I just haven’t really seen before.  Anyway, yeah I could go on but I think that mostly sums it up. This is the only game where it feels like your actually exploring an amazing natural environment, but without like sore feet and bugs and being sweaty and stuff. It's just all the good stuff involved in taking in a crazy beautiful environ. I already said that but yeah. This game feels restorative, peaceful, meditative. And I never get sick of those lonely little piano chords. It's good. Perfect even. Really a masterwork for me. And the DLC is sweet to boot and still incoming, so yeah. Me likey.  2. Final Fantasy XV-

Where I feel really good picking BotW as my #1, and can do it without hesitation, and it's not even a tough call to make as my favorite entry of its respective franchise, this one is a bit more complex. And like a lot of FF fans would probably rightfully scoff and write me off right away, whereas Zelda fans would probably be more accepting of BotW as the top pick. Because it involves a shit ton of caveats. For one thing, deep deep down, FFXI will actually always be my favorite video game experience of all time. Always. Forever. Sorry not sorry BotW. But I'm not putting that one, because I feel like there's something weird about listing an MMO that I only played for 3 years as a child and can't really revisit in a real capacity. Its sealed in time and perhaps that's what makes it special. Sure I could get on one of the couple of PC servers still going but it wouldn't be the same. Another caveat is FFVII, IX, and XII (Zodiac Age!!) are all, to me, way classier and probably on a technical level "better" than XV. And yet, I'm kind of have this disease where 64-bit games have aged worse for me than any other gen, and while XII is fucking awesome (Zodiac!! ^.^;;), I don't have quite as much fun playing that as XV (though its pretty close...). Somehow, despite all its short-comings, FFXV almost perfectly captures the charm and joy of this series, and all my memories of it, while containing them within a fucking gorgeous-- immaculately so at that-- package that is super freakin' playable compared to older turn-based titles. Like, ATB/turn-based FF will always be more "legit" in a sense, but I can't deny I am an action-JRPG addict and this game hits the sweet-spot for me.

Did I mention how beautiful it is? While some might see the new fixation on open-worlds as kind of redundant-- and BotW has now kind of revealed the flaws in the old triple-A formula for them--, I think this is just a reeeeally good rendition of the "open-world" concept, which is something I always wanted in FF. And while you can't join in with other players like in XI and carve your own path in the world (multiplayer is coming though...), there is a certain feeling of freedom felt in this game that makes so many other FF titles seem so limited (lookin at you XIII). Also, pretty. It's pretttttty. And if BotW's Hyrule is my favorite game-map, Eos is my favorite world in terms of like lore, look, and design. It's freakin cool. It looks real and there are cars and there are modern-looking people like us but there's also crazy monsters, magic, teleportation, robots and evil empires (well those are real). And the monsters seem like something out of an otherworldly Nat. Geo. the way everything is so wonderfully detailed. Its freakin cool Dinotopia shit in this bitch. So yeah, while there are flaws-- notably of which are the lack of customization in character-progression that I love in games like XII Zodiac Age and with the kind of unrealized story which is spread mercilessly across an anime mini-series and OVA-- this game feels like a perfect monument to my favorite series of all time. And like you can play all Nobuo songs while exploring this amazing world. Like seriously that tiny little feature is what puts this over-the-top. Otherwise I might have honestly chosen IX or XII Zodiac Age 'cause they're classy AF and the RPG mechanics are deeper. But fuck it, when I play this, it's basically the best visualizer for an endless Nobuo Uematsu soundtrack I could imagine. And like Shimumura's new stuff is great on top of that. This point falls apart 'cuz I could just play an FF actually composed by Nobuo, but like this way it's like an endless loop of my personal favorite Nobuo. Nobuo... 

But anyway... Yeah I like the look, combat, magic, world, characters, chocobos, and the look again. Also the potential... I think multiplayer could be really, really cool honestly. So while it bears some of the issues all post-Enix-merger FF games have (like weirdly dropping parts of the plot which is like...why???, or the fact that they're having to patch it all year, and are adding stuff (can you say DLC $$$$)), it's still a minor masterpiece for me. And while not as deep, or even as charming as old PS1 FF or 16-bit FF, its just so damn playable. I'm not a good retro-gamer like other people-- I like my games new and bright/shiny, and this game is shiny AF. So yeah. I clearly have to defend the hell out of this, but fuck it, it's great. Like seriously the design of everything? Just walk around and like look at it. LOOK AT IT. Character models!!! Lighting!!! Facial animation and movement!!! Omg. Okay, yeah I'll leave it at that. Don't hate me. 3. Super Smash Bros Wii-

I feel like I don't even have to explain this one. This is quite simply the perfect multiplayer game. And as with BotW and FFXV, I like these latest iterations a lot, which may seem sheepish and like plebian-core but fuck it. Melee was reeeeally fun back in like 2008, but I'm not trying to play that rn. Robin all day. And Cloud?? So yeah, there's just something kind of endlessly sweet about a game where the likes of Mario, Pac-Man, Sonic, Megaman, Cloud, Ryu and... Bayonetta (??) all collide in a game with amazing physics, awesome platform-y freedom-of-movement and a deep competitive scene which almost make this seem like some kind of weird master-game. Like the Master Sword of games. An Einherjar/Valhalla of all videogame character of fame and fortune. So yeah, its great. I can't speak about it to it to the length I did with FF and BotW because I feel like it speaks for itself. Its just pure, unadulterated Nintendo/pan-franchise world-colliding fun. 4. Nier Automata-

Nier/Drakengard lore is fucking crazy, deep as hell, and multi-faceted AF and Yoko Taro is freeeeakin cool and the best game director this side of Hideo Kojima. And where the first Nier is an amazing, lovably imperfect game-- clunky combat, and weird genre-hopping and all-- this one is like freakin' awesome to play front-to-back. Unless you like don't like abruptly inserted bullet-hell segments. But the main combat is irrefutably sick, which is crazy. Platinum games took a reeeeally weird game-world and made it feel super slick despite all the amazing quirks that are inherent to Yoko Taro's games. Also this is one of my like top 5 maybe 3 game soundtracks of all time. It's amazing and reminds me of my favorite Yuki Kajiura soundtrack for .Hack//Sign. Is there a term for awesome vaguely medieval-ish female-vocal heavy mystic-sounding music? 'Cause this game has it in spades and it's freakin sweeeet. Alongside some like soulful adult-contemporary R'n'B ballads? Buy yeah, amazing-feeling combat, a plethora of combos and weapons, a solid amount of depth to character progression, and really fun bullet-hell segments make this game sooooo playable and maybe my favorite action-RPG of all time (FFXV doesn't quite feel like a true action-RPG?)

But then, on top of that it has an amazingly evocative story, with wonderfully dynamic characters who are lovingly revealed over the course of multiple play-through, in a an epic struggle that revels in the philosophy of Sartre, Kierkegaard, and Marx among others. That in itself is freakin' crazy. Games/anime/movies with AI characters or like androids can be so cliche in their exploration of existentialism, and this game can seem like its gonna be like that at first, but it ends up making good on its promises, and functions as just a really cool exploration of a rich philosophical tapestry. And it's all beautifully told, in these really nice semi-muted colors and with these super lovely character models. Plus the open-world is surprisingly great to run around. I love the over-grown human city thing, and the super atmospheric music come together with the aesthetic to make this game so emotional. Like honestly, along with other aspects of the story, this game is sooooo feels-heavy for me. It can be really sad, and there's this amazing dichotomy/friction between how fun it is to play, and how like strait-up bad it can make you feel sometimes. To like even play it. Getting into that would be spoiler-y and stuff, but yeah I'll kind of leave it to there. The story is awesome. 2B and 9S are amazing. The concepts and way this game actually effect you are super unique, and all the presentation-aspects bring it together so beautifully. It's just like... wow. Like play this game. then play it 5 times to get all the endings. 5. Metal Gear Solid V-

I almost have to make the same caveats I did for FFXV for this game as well. Yes, I know, it's not perfect. It partly represents like the downfall of this whole series, and the darker side of video-games in general. There's a pachinko-level pay-wall type thing inserted right into this and there's some behind-the-scene drama involved that strait-up led to Kojima's departure from Konami? (firing??) Idk, idc, I don't have the energy for that, honestly. So maybe I'm a horrible MGS fan, but I'll be damned if I don't love this game unabashedly. I first played it during a time when I had basically spent 5 years not playing any video games besides Smash, and it was an amazing reintroduction into the world of triple-A titles. Emergent gameplay. Openness. The most handsome character model of all time (Big Boss is my daddy). And that Asia song "Only Time Will Tell". Seriously-- something about the way that song synchs up with the feel of sneaking into an Afghani military outpost in the early 1980's any damn way you please is like the story of this game for me, and part of why it's on this list. That song is everything. Like in the context of this game that is. But also outside of it too? But yeah the sheer openness is just incredible. Not open in the same way like Skyrim or BotW is, but in terms of how you complete each and every mission. It feels like your writing the script to your own big action movie every time you set out. Like the game doesn't force anything on you. Did I mention Big Boss is fucking hot. 

And yeah, great music, gameplay and overall presentation, and the cool base-management stuff adds this really cool RTS-ish depth that fleshes out the game wonderfully. Add some solid online PVP, a sweet mech and the gatdamn coolest most open-ended stealth gameplay I'm aware of, and you have yrself a winner. Sorry old, classic MGS, I gotta go with the new model. It's just so damn playable. Like yeah, I know, Konami is like really bad, and fucked up, and like if I really respected Kojima maybe I wouldn't chose this one? But like man I can't help it. I love it soooo much, contemporary triple-AAA-developer-dysfunction and all. Oh and Asia. And the Pere Ubu "Man Who Saved the World". And "Take On Me". Honestly without the tape-collecting/playing this might not be included. But yeah, its clearly great.

6. Dark Souls- Idk, I'm not even a huge Souls guy but this game is kind of breathtaking. I got it for cheap and went in a skeptic, and remained that way for a decent chunk of it, but around the time I was getting to Sen's Fortress things started to click like crazy. This game is undeniable and I'll leave it to the plethora of well-made YouTube analyzers to really get into why. But for me, as far as action-RPGs go, this feels like it has some of the most legit customization and progression of any RPG I've played. It's got an amazing world, with the vertical-nature of the map and way that inter-locking various paths slowly reveal themselves is an amazing thing to behold as the game unfolds. I also just really love the online aspects of this game. I played this game when Dark Souls III was just about to come out and it gave it this kind of spooky feeling. Like I still got invaded a good bit and had help when I wanted it from others, but I could tell it wasn't as busy as it might have been during its initial hey-day. Like playing a weird culty Dreamcast game online in like 2005 (Phantasy Star Online anyone?). This spooky feeling of people being there but not at the same time fits the lore and the world itself really well and that aspect is probably even more exaggerated now (plus the fact that I fuck co-op proves im a n00b). But the fact people were still playing it at all, and still do to this day, speak to how singular and amazing it is. For me, this is just the end-all be-all as far as  archetypal high fantasy worlds go-- at least as far as the darker side of things go. Its a bit heavy metal and dreary for me as far as fantasy goes (I like my shit kinda twee and anime-core), but if I want dark and bleak, with an underlying sense of old-world scenic beauty, this game is unbeatable. Like literally, I can't beat it. That's my one complaint: too hard! I'm a noob, maybe one day I'll git gud and stop getting wrecked-- one can hope... 7. Persona 5

This is weird to put after Dark Souls 'cuz if I'm honest I feel like this game has so much more charm and character and like personality than Dark Souls? Idk, I guess I can make that claim. Like Dark Souls has tons of personality, but like Persona 5? I guess it has to do with my slight preference for action-RPG over turn-based, but this game almost seems like one long ass 100 hour+ trek through sheer charm and personality. Hm, PERSONA-lity? Wow genius. But really, this game is just dripping with unique style and charisma. And I'll be honest, I wen't in expecting a lot and for a solid like 20 hours initially I wasn't all that into it. I'm still kinda an SMT noob so I think I'm just impatient for how long this game takes to reveal itself. It's just freakin big and deep that it literally takes that long and then some to truly get going. But once it does... oh boy does it. I think it might be the coolest turn-based game I've ever played in terms of just the sheer combat itself (sorry all pre FFXI Final Fantasy games???). Equal parts FF at its deepest and classiest and Pokemon at its um. Well idk, it's not as Pokemon as Ni No Kuni, but the Persona-collecting system is freakin great. And the level of challenge the combat/dungeons have seem almost pitch-perfect in a way RPGs rarely do. And then add in all the social links/dating sim components, and the open world, and the weird Sly Cooper-inspired stealthy dungeon-crawling and you have like one of the craziest, coolest most legit JRPGs of all time.

But yeah the saving grace for me is the actual turn-based system/combat itself. For a turn-based, its bizarre how kinetic and speedy it can feel. You have all the time you need to strategize if you so chose, but once you know what your doing it can be like lightning, right up until the point where your arguing with a demon to either fork over some loot or join your party, or else your moving fluidly back into great dungeon-crawling action. And then yeah all the crazy super-Japanese high-school student simulation stuff rounds things out delightfully. Like, I admit I like my RPGs to either be high fantasy or else cyber-punky and this is neither of those. Like I'm not even sure what aesthetic so much of this is... smooth jazz and sassy r'n'b moodiness, and like Japanese high-school-attending outcasts who moonlight as stylish treasure-hunting demon-slaying thieves and fight against the inner-world manifestations of corrupt adults-- like what is that vibe? I really don’t know, but I suppose its something all true otakus understand on some inherent level, even if it does remain mysterious and ever allusive in its charms to me. 

But the story is cool and huge (Seriously, 100+ hours! What?!!?) and plumbs psychological depths and doesn’t pull punches when it comes to getting a little dark, if maybe in a somewhat simplistic way. But yeah, this game oozes charm, like in the way Mona is so undeniable as a side-kick. I mean they’re almost annoying too but then like, no, Mona’s pretty great though. There are things I can almost imagine it doing that would make me like it even more (like the whole day-cycle thing never quite feels as open as I want it to? But like if it was it'd be like 300 hours. Just that thing where you speed through yr day and almost skip right to one scene in-class and then BAM its after-school), but yeah like this nitpick doesn't even fully make sense. It's just that this game is open-ended af and yet it can also sometimes feel kind of like your spending a lot of time clicking through text without a ton of control. But really that's just the like first 20-30 hours. And again the combat is just undeniably solid. So yeah, it's lite-novel-y and when yr not in dungeons it can seem like yr clicking through an anime almost, but I mean that's kind of also what makes it amazing.

And I'll just touch lightly on presentation stuff like the amazing soundtrack and the f a b u l o u s  style of all the menu's and just over-all visual flair of this game, 'cause literally everyone notices that instantly. The dungeons also seem kinda weirdly PS2-looking to me, but like it doesn't matter. This game has a crazy amount of depth and charm that make more immaculate looking triple-A's seem soulless. Plus, yeah like all the menu stuff and like visual segues make it seem so much more stylish than them too even though its clearly not on the same level technically. So yeah, this game’s a lot of win. I was skeptical of the hype honestly, and aspects of Persona 4's world are a little cooler to me still, but man this game is just like... yeah it's good. It's soo long and so written and chock full of a very distinct kind of charm that it seems comparable to having some kind of weird virtual pal inside my ps4 (Does that sound sad ^.^;;). Like it's just cool to know I can always pop it in and hang out with my old pals Ryuji, Ann and Morgana. And Makoto.  For like 100 more hours now. How long is this? Where am I, I've been playing it for 3 days, help!? 8. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir-

I'll have less to say to this 'cuz I'm pretty new to the hype-train and thank god 'cuz I wrote way too much about P5? But yeah, this game is the addictively-awesome side-scrolling action-RPG/Beat-'em-up I didn't know I needed in my life. At first I thought the over-all look was kind of not really my thing, but I've done a full 180, and while its not the like more traditional anime/FF-esque style I'm used to, I've come to see just how beautiful and fresh its style is. And then the combat itself is sweeeeeeet. Endlessly playable and as deep as you'd want a still kinda light-feeling action-RPG to be. Plus there's a deep cooking system which just always takes good action-RPGs or any game over-the-top for me. Most of the game is done exploring these really fun combat-filled levels but some respite is found in the mini-farming and cooking mechanics. And the crafting adds an extra dimension as well. Soooo deep. I also love that it scores you on how stylishly your playing by tracking yr combos. This is one of the more fluid and engagings JRPGs I’ve played, and the hand-drawn look is to die for. So yeah, I'll keep it short and sweet, but the action is great, the characters' various play-styles are wonderfully varied, and the overall presentation is just so unique and cool. Oh and the story ends up being like really legit? Caught me by surprise. It's mostly just good old fashioned sprite-based fun, with a really sick Norse-inspired fantasy aesthetic. A video game's video game (what does that mean?? (you get it)).

9. Dark Cloud-

The true OG "Dark" action-RPG of my dreams and heart-- sorry Dark Souls, you were a decade late. This game encapsulate the joy of PS2-era action-RPGs, a high-point for the genre. The kind of vaguely bland-but-still-unique fantasy look of it (a successful "Ocarina-killer" for my money, on a visual level at least), the procedurally-generated dungeon crawling, and the freakin’ awesome city-building and NPC-interacting make this game pure win. Like yeah, its a bit clunky with its combat, but charmingly so for me. Its mostly just got this really nice sustained vibe of like sheer pleasantness all throughout, and I just can't get enough of its over-all vibe after all these years. Harder to put this one into words... but yeah the city-building and little tiny touches with all the NPC-helping and questing is what make it special for me. Especially the city-building (you get to restore these little towns that have been ravaged and you have to make everyone happy with the way you set things up. So Japanese and so fun..) Like what a cool, weird feature that ends up being great. Idk, its great. I like the vaguely arabian-ish vibe too. It's just...  really good. It's just sheer PS2-style win. So yeah this one is mostly a lot on inarticulate nostalgia but fuck it. 10. .Hack//Infection-

Speaking of inarticulate nostalgia...Now I can't quite say this game is like truly a "good" game? All the way through at least. In some ways its part of a big cash-grab for Bandai-Namco. I'll go with the first one in the series, but its really just a piece of a whole along with 3 other games, that may have been a bit padded and intentionally designed to leach a whopping 200 US from a true dreamer back in the day, who just couldn't help themselves. BUT it's also kind of amazing. Like the combat and dungeon-crawling is a bit cut-and-dry (is it just me or are procedurally generated PS2 dungeons kind of sick?) but its enough. You have tons of party members to choose from, a plethora of magic scrolls to use if you so choose, and your 2 trusty little twin blades with which you can press X to slash with until the cows come home. A game like Kingdom Hearts as an action-RPG seems so much more fluid and kinetic and yet? Well KH is ridic, and if I'm gonna die on some hill for a goofy anime-core action-RPG it'll be this one any day. It combines my favorite aesthetics (mysterious celtic-y high fantasy AND cyber-punk) by way of being a game-within-a-game, and by being about a fictional MMO while not actually being an MMO it's kind of meta AF also. Also, the stuff with the emailing the other party members you meet and the system that has you increasing your bond through these simulated conversations with other players just reeeally gets to me, and seems cooler than Persona confidant-developing honestly. I'm a huge sucker for the original anime, and you got these really sick OVA anime discs with each entry which were set in the real world that the game existed in and even though that shouldn't factor in really, I admit it does. It all comes together as this kind of cool, weird, slightly-trashy anime wet-dream from my childhood at the end of the day. Also, some sick music, sick AF character designs, and an overall concept (that I'll actually defend to the death despite some of the superficial anime plotting/characters) round things out very nicely. Just the fact that this is a game about an MMO... like what a concept (and a decade before that SAO garbage fire shit). Plus Grunty raising. And the G.U. Last Recode remaster is right around the corner, OMG!!!!!!

also rans/runner ups: 11. SSX 3

12. Resident Evil 4

13. Katamari Damacy

14. Super Mario Galaxy

15. No More Heroes

16. Spider-Man 2

17. Catherine

18. Bomberman '93

19. Tekken 4

20. Marvel Vs. Capcom 2

[sanguinesprout]

The sky is a beautiful blue today~ (Some updates, nicer things, random snippets of memories and why I write about weather so much lol)

I was thinking maybe I should write about something lighter, like the things I did recently, in particular the good things, my small triumphs and such c: 

I’ve spent a lot more time out with my sister (and sometimes her bf and my mum) recently, especially in the case of going shopping~! I bought quite a lot of nice tops with interesting and motivating text based designs on them (maybe I’ll photograph them sometime), and some of them were on sale too yay! :3 Usually I try and avoid going out too many times in a row or when I don’t feel mentally prepared beforehand but I went and it was alright! Though some of the times I had no choice as I had a doctors appointment, but instead of just going home I went to the shops or the supermarket afterwards and had a nice long browse around~ 

I used to remember a long long time ago when I was younger I really did not enjoy shopping and would always constantly be asking when we could go home lol but now it’s pretty fun (apart from the fact I’m actually really poor). Also a long time ago I would trail around after my sis or whoever, but now I go off on my own and look at whatever I feel but sometimes my sis trails after me instead lol and likes to moan about me looking at things too slowly quite a lot. It makes me anxious but I told her about it so she does it less or I’ll tell her to go look at something else, cause I like taking my sweet time yo >3< I don’t mean like I only started doing this recently haha, but it did take quite a few years before I felt confident enough to go around on my own and actually enjoy it. I would go shopping completely on my own and take public transport after college and uni sometimes and such, I feel I’ve kind of taken a step back since then but I’m not back at square one at least I guess, it’s something!

I still feel awkward and anxious when people are blocking the way of an aisle or when they’re looking at the same rack of stuff, but I’m gonna try and push these feelings aside, be more assertive and so and so. There were also times where certain unusual situations were kind of traumatic for me and maybe I’ll write or draw about them sometime, but they’re not important and I shouldn’t keep thinking back on them and feeling hurt. I still sometimes get that ‘lost kid that has to look down every aisle and worries everyone already paid and left’ feeling after wandering around when I go to the supermarket with my parents lol, because they are all about being quick so they can go home and get ready for work and stuff, but having a phone now unlike when I was a kid and didn’t have one makes everything suck much less hah take that!

Anyways, back to the present! The weather has been pretty flip floppy lately, on some few random days the weather was real hot and some super rainy and cold and some calm and neutral, like today. I really love when it spontaneously rains so hard and immediately after the sky is such a wonderful clear blue, I feel it’s analogous to when you have are suddenly overcome with negative emotions and once they pass you feel at ease and can think with clarity again aka. the calm after the storm. I really like the weather and making weird metaphors about it as you could probably tell already lolol. The weather is just something that’s always there, something that affects mood but is also so moody itself, something everyone experiences and uses for small talk and something so mundane but also wonderful and unpredictable (unless you look at the forecast everyday, I mean it’s real easy to check on the phone widget but I don’t haha, as much as I talk about it I don’t worship the weather channel or anything lol) ^^ 

Oh also in relation to this, when I said I was going to write this blog a bit more like a diary, it made me think of a time when I was little and my mum bought me a diary book. It was a simple Winnie the Pooh diary with a gold lock and guess what I wrote in it hahahaha I wrote in huge writing on each page a 3-4 word sentence of how the weather was that day LOL It was super wasteful and my sis and mum were like what even?! XD I’ve had lots of diaries since then and lots of attempts at writing about actual things but I’ve never been able to keep it up past a few days. I just hope this blog doesn’t die out like my past diaries or become a brief weather description collection either hahaha. Today’s post title is kinda like a tribute or slightly more advanced version of my kiddie diary x3

Okay enough about that lol! One of the days recently I went to the park~! I did say I wanted to go and my sister suggested it. It was some time in the afternoon on a weekday so it wasn’t to busy. It was pleasant and refreshing to go walkies sine I hadn’t gone there for a while, even though I really really hate all kinds of bugs (and things that have bugs in them, like trees) and shriek and flail at their presence lol. I saw some pretty flowers, sat on the see saw with my sis briefly (which I was nervous about cuz there were kids around and well I’m not a kid anymore *sob* but I will always be a kid at heart and so will my sis, so I did it anyways! Yolo, gotta sit my but on all the things next time XD). I also saw the duckies! Or well I think they were actually geese but they were so pretty and derpy and their little floofy babies omg! ;w; Soooo cute!! I definitely want to go see them again sometime :D I’ve come to kind of dislike zoos (and aquariums too) because I feel so bad seeing some of them so distressed looking and it feels unfair that they have to live in such a contained and artificial space without choice, but when there’s wildlife living free like the duckies in the lake, it’s just such a pleasant thing to witness.

Oh also some good today was I cooked my own breakfast...kinda... It was just a fried egg with tuna in it pretty much and there was rice too (made in a rice cooker not by me lol) but I cooked the egg part! It takes so much convincing for me to be able to do just this. My mum and dad don’t like me hanging around the kitchen because ‘you’re too slow’ and ‘you’ll make a mess’ etc. I know they keep babying me and want things to go smoothly their way... but it needs to change! I don’t want to be dependant forever :c I was persistent this time and I’m glad! :D And I also suggested that maybe everyday I could maybe learn something new from them, whether it be just some small technique or a recipe or whatever. I am lacking in well... life skills because I was never taught or allowed to do certain things, like cooking for example. I can make something easy like instant ramen or pasta, but they usually handle all meals and don’t let me experiment or cook for reals. The only thing they really trust me with is making tea and sandwiches and the only time I cooked something from a recipe was cooking class at school a long time ago lol. Sometimes I help my sister bake stuff, but they get annoyed at her too for being in the way and stuff, but she isn’t a weak spirited person like me so she just carries on haha.

I can watch video tutorials all I want but it’ll never be useful without actual execution and practice, you know! >< My dad is a chef and is particularly prideful of his cooking, and also quick to insult and get annoyed for small mistakes, so it’s gonna be tough but I’m gonna try anyways! Lately I’ve been trying harder to just chat and bond with my dad more, we watch drama/animation series together at supper which is nice~! (Even though he feigns reluctance to watch and that he’s interested sometimes lol). Conversation is particularly hard because of the language barrier, but if I make the conversation about learning language like I did the other day and maybe now even about learning cooking stuff, then maybe things will go at a much better pace :D 

I also drew some things I was kind of happy about lately, and didn’t give up on trying to interact online even though I really wanted to! I need to get my stuff organised and start posting stuff! I feel like the longer I leave it, the less it’s making me wanna do it, stop it perfection, you’re unnecessary! x^x I really hate having an empty account, it makes me feel like a creep (like on youtube it’s okay but on other places it’s unusual, right?) ;^; Something I keep forgetting is that there is no rules and no obligations for me (or anyone else) to do anything or feel anything. There’s no right or wrong, silly self! I need to stop worrying so much and just go for it! Yolo the hell out of everything (maybe that’s not quite the right phrase lol) and just stop falling into the paralysis by analysis trap! X3 Imma try harder! ò^ó

Uh uhhh before I end this, I have some update-y stuff on my therapy situation... I have my first appointment tomorrow! I’m so nervous!! xAx The funny thing though (or well, not really), is that when my doctor was giving me options on who to see, I could either go for the general therapist who works in the same facility or to go for the referral service for a more specific recommendation. I opted for the second in hope that I could see someone with a specialism in idk... AVPD or personality disorders (if there is a such thing), but it seems I’ve ended up going full circle and ending up getting recommended to the general therapist back here >< I mean, at least it’s convenient and better than nothing I suppose... Anyways, I don’t know how it’ll go so I shouldn’t make any assumptions or have any wild expectations. I can do this! It’ll be okay! I’m glad I got a female therapist, because I get even more nervous around guys and the one I had in the past was ahhh idk... maybe I’ll write about it with whatever I write about after the app tomorrow. I just hope it goes well! 

Don’t give up! You can do it! Have a nice day~! :3