#but sometimes to help someone understand something you need to make comparisons

[rat-rosemary]

i need you to stay the fuck away from qt and that situation, if you outright acknowledge you shouldn't compare traumatic shit and then try to do it anyway that makes you shitty. i do not give a fuck about any of these people but you need to sort your tags or something because this echo chamber isn't working and no one outside of dream stans cares or wants to read this

Okay cool, I'm just going to say this,what Qt went through is literally a nightmare and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you're kinda proving my point right now

If someone made a skit with Qt's trauma and tried to claim it had nothing to do with it it would be a huge dick move right? Especially if they used an event that was directly related to a bad event and then tried to claim it was completely disconnected

The same thing is happening to Dream,because belive it or not, having someone threaten to rape your little sister is an traumatic event

[annabelle--cane]

this is a difficult thing to have conversations about because it provokes really strong reactions in people for completely valid and understandable reasons, so please feel free to hit da bricks on this post whenever you want, but I do want to try and analyse the jonmartin slaps. we get three across 160, 169, and 172, and a line addressing it in 173, and then it never happens or comes up again. none of them come out of nowhere, and they mostly fly under the radar until 173 because they all broadly fit the "slapping someone out of a trance in an emergency" trope, but each of them slowly decreases in urgency.

the first time, the apocalypse starts up and martin comes back to find a passed out jon, can't wake him by making noise, and strikes him in a panic. this makes sense, this is a man who has entered a supernatural coma before and martin had no idea what was going on, so of course he'd jump to something desperate.

the second time, they're in a burning building, jude arrives while jon is still mid-statement, and when making noise doesn't work martin slaps him out of it. this makes sense, they were there for jude and if jon didn't come back to himself then she likely would have hurt them, though martin knew that her powers against them were limited.

the third time, jon is getting pulled into into a repeating statement instead of coming out on his own like usual, so martin speaks once or twice to try and get his attention, and then slaps him out of it. this... again, it makes sense, jon was getting trapped, but there was no immediate peril like before, martin just got freaked out and wanted to leave quickly. he seems to get that it was harsh because he apologizes for it, but they don't linger at all, martin just starts in on them having to leave immediately.

the last time it's mentioned is when they're on night street, during what is one of their most intense arguments. jon tries to talk about the suffering of the children there for longer than he needs to in order to make a point, martin cuts him off, and he pointedly says, "thank you for not hitting me this time." it never happens or is brought up again.

to our knowledge, jon doesn't say anything about the slapping until 173. he's not a guy who's known for speaking up when things upset him, he was amiably working with daisy within about a week of her trying to kill him, so it makes sense that he would just sit with this comparatively more minor thing. however, I do think it's relevant to note that, at this point in their relationship, martin will sometimes voice his feelings and boundaries (not listening to statements, not consenting to mind reading, worrying when jon expresses discomfort with his body), while jon doesn't. from the couple of times he does talk about his feelings this season, I think that tendency comes a few places: he has a hard time being aware of his emotions at all, he doesn't know how to evaluate his emotions' importance in comparison to others', he assumes his emotions are obvious and thus people already act with full knowledge of them, and the topic is just hard to make himself talk about. from what he says in 173, I think the slaps bothered him the entire time, but he made himself be fine with it until he was upset with martin for unrelated reasons and finally let it out.

as for martin's side, I do not think the slaps came from any kind of suppressed desire to hurt or wield power over jon. we've seen him when he's angry at jon, this isn't how he acts, he gets shouty and indignant but never violent. I'd even go as far as to say he doesn't do it in 173 because he's genuinely upset at jon and the situation they're in, and it would never occur to him to deliberately inflict pain on someone he cares about to assert control over them. the connecting line between all of them is fear from something that he wants jon to help him handle. the apocalypse starts, he is stuck inside one of his worst nightmares, and he's paranoid that the web took control of him. he's someone who is "always following, never leading" (170), and he gets tunnel vision when something scares him and his "leader" isn't there.

jon did need to be pulled out of all three of those situations, and words proved insufficient, and maybe a quick jolt of pain was the only thing that could have worked, but martin doesn't seem to consider what that would feel like from jon's pov. in my experience of relationships, if there's ever an unavoidable emergency where you do actually need to cross a line that you never would otherwise, you talk about it afterwards. you do a debrief where you say "I'm really sorry about that, I didn't see another way, I'll try and be better prepared next time." they do this for problems they have later on (177, 198), but martin doesn't do that here. jon's point-of-view just doesn't seem to occur to him. when jon expresses discomfort, he drops the tactic without a word; later, when he needs to anchor jon in the panopticon, he talks him through it before it can get too far. so, it's not about a lack of care for jon's feelings.

I think it comes down to a few things: a) his occasional tendency to treat people as a means to an ends and not think about their perspective. he's so glued to putting others first most of the time that when he stops, he can't find a middle ground and forgets that other people can have feelings about his actions. b) his problems with conceiving of himself as a person of any importance who is capable of doing anything, especially of doing harm. as a concept, "hurting jon" is the thing he would least like to do in the whole world, it is his nightmare scenario and literally the culminating moment of his tragedy. he finds it almost unthinkable, so the idea that he does it casually when he's scared doesn't cross his mind. one of his central worries at this point is that jon is now so powerful that he no longer needs martin, how could he hurt someone like that? he's not anywhere near a comparable level of importance, it's not like he has his own domain that he's not aware of because jon told him about it and he immediately rejected the information. he's powerless and could never bring himself to hurt the man he loves.

I just. think it's an interesting microcosm of some of the lows of their relationship. once the problem is discovered martin instantly takes the note and doesn't put it on jon to explain himself further or assuage his guilt, they are willing and able to adapt, but it still comes from some of their bedrock flaws. martin doesn't understand that he can hurt people, and jon has such an inflated understanding of his capacity to hurt people that it sabotages his self-worth and his ability to respond to pain and displeasure.

[kangen-wanshi]

"Can you say it again?" ft Akira Kurusu, Yusuke Kitagawa, Goro Akechi

He said the words "I love you", and you're not sure whether you hear him right or not. So, he repeats it with his own way.

Tags: fluff, kisses in Yusuke's part, a bit of spoiler in Akechi's

Akira Kurusu, He repeats it with his words

If you ask, he will say it again,  and again, and again.

He loves you.

It makes you stop whatever you're doing, as you finally look up to his eyes.

Akira has always been blunt with his words. Though with his ability to change his persona, and his entire demeanor, sometimes it's difficult to see how much his words actually worth on first glance.

But with the amount of time he says it to you, with the repeated intensity, and with that glint of desperation and honesty in his gray orbs, you can't help but let yourself believe the three simple words that came out of his mouth.

If he manages to catch you off guard, he won't hesitate to proceed with his action. To prove it to you with more than just words past his lips.

He would approach you, intimately close. Lips barely ghosting your own, hands still tucked in his pockets, waiting for you to let him in.

If you reciprocate him with similar action, say, you close the gap between the two of you on your own accord, his hands would start wandering, and words just are not enough anymore to convey his feelings.

But if you stutter, lose your composure and express to him about how you need to proceed with his bluntness, he'll understand.

He is pretty bold. He knows he catches people off guard.

Still. While waiting, Akira will not hesitate to repeat those three words to you every now and then.

He would repeat it everyday if he could.

Don't keep him waiting though. There's nothing more that Akira wants but confirmation from you.

"I love you."

Yusuke Kitagawa, He repeats it with his kiss

Yusuke is a poet. He experiences life, and turns them into poetry. Whether it be through his words or his art.

But sometimes, he's willing to admit that no form of art but his own action can transpire the true desire in his heart.

And in this case, his affection for you.

Paintings, poetry, and many works of art have been a representation of his desire for your affection. A reflection of what he feels when he's by your side.

You're his muse. One that has your fingers wrapped tightly around his heart.

When he confessed, he's sure his feelings would transpire.

But you just stared at him, confused grin yet flustered face and furrowed brows, and dared to ask him to repeat himself.

Well if words are not enough for you he doesn't mind showing it with his action.

Yusuke is quick, and bold.

A hand behind your head, the other easily sneaked around your waist keeping you there close to him.

You're still given space to escape, of course. But when he senses not an inch of hesitation from you, he's gonna go all out.

"Do you hear the cries of love in which my heart longs for? It calls only for you, dear."

Goro Akechi, He repeats it with his eyes

Akechi, frankly, is good and bold with both his words and his actions.

He's loyal to you even after the reveal of his true self, he doesn't hesitate to lower his voice and make himself gentle around you just so you're not hurt by his thorns.

He's as protective as he is vocal about it.

Sometimes, he even confessed to you jokingly. Though with your flustered state that is real and honest, in comparison to his 'fake' persona, sometimes he's glad that you never see the true, deep longing he felt about you.

With how often he acts gentlemanly around you, and how often he treats you like a loyal person, it's difficult to find out whether the words "I love you" actually weigh something or not for someone like him.

That's why, when he whispered it to you quietly during a confession, you asked him to repeat himself with a grin on your face, hoping he would just brush his own words off like any other time.

But when you look at him, right in his eyes, you know that this one is different. 

The way he keeps holding your gaze. His hands slowly hold yours, tighter by the second.

Akechi can't be trusted with his words. Or his actions. So that's why he hoped, he begged, that you would see his genuine love through his eyes.

"Can you see.. The transparency, and the truth behind my words now?"

[nomoreusername]

How TMR Character Would Help If They Found Out You're Bipolar

(I am not trying to stereotype bipolar at all. I have it so when I use terms like mania and episodes I am basing it off of what I know. I know it's a spectrum and different for everyone, but I'm still trying to generalize it as best as I can without being disrespectful)

Doesn't know a lot about it at first so he's a little lost

Secretly looks up stuff about it so he knows and can help better

Catches on to the signs and what helps you very quickly

Never tells anybody and reminds you that you don't owe anyone an explanation for something you can't even control

Will sit in comfortable silence and hold your hand when he can tell things are getting rough

Will journal with you so that you feel connected with him but not pressured to talk

Suggests speaking to him through writing when you physically can't talk

Is very patient when you do

Would drop everything the second you needed him

Basically, he doesn't care whether you need silence or a thousand words as long as you're safe and comfortable

Notices the red flags due to his past experience

Very gently coaxes what's wrong out of you

Opens up back so you know you aren't alone in your mental health

Makes you a list of reasons to live and gives it to you for the next time your low comes

Would have an alarm for when you need to take your medication

Would drive you to and from any psychiatrist and therapists appointment

Doesn't mind when he needs to remind you to eat, sleep, or so basic things when you're going manic

Lets you know when he's worried about you without talking down to or babying you

Would help you schedule a doctor's appointment when your crash or mania is worse than usual or goes on for too long

Would be on the lookout for side effects from any new medications or treatments so he can let you know to bring them up at your appointment

All in all, your most caring and loving supporter

Can tell when you're upset about having it and will try to make jokes to cheer you up

If it doesn't work he'll sit with you in silence and hold you

Would never, ever, ever let anyone talk bad about the mental illness, even if you aren't there

Would sometimes give you too tough love (telling you that you're crashing or having an episode when you're in denial)

When he can tell that it hurt your feelings and just made you defensive he would stop and give you a minute to cool down

After that he would calmly explain why he believes that and would help with whatever you needed if he was right or if something else was going on

Could sometimes be too much when getting you out of the house and doing stuff that's good for you when you're crashing but would realize before it does any harm

Would apologize about it and spend the day laying with and comforting you

To sum it up, his love and concern can be pushy but he will always be there for whatever you need

Would have a little bit of trouble understanding at first

When you had an episode for the first time he made an internal comparison to him lashing out when angry to help with that

Would be good at knowing when you can be calmed down, when you need to be with someone, and when you need to be alone

Would be your first and most intense defender if someone starts stereotyping, being rude, or assuming things about you because of it

Sometimes he would have to catch himself when he's about to lose patience when you're having mania but gets better at it

Knows when it's better for both of you and still safe for you to separate for a little bit (around an hour or two) before helping you work through whatever it was

Would be extremely proud of you when it's very under control and would let you know but also assure you he's aware it's a cycle

Overall, the longer he's with you the better he gets at supporting you

Would sometimes struggle with not taking what you say during episodes to heart but would still understand that you didn't mean and were working on it

Would stay awake and try to soothe you to sleep when your mania causes you to stay up

If you're up for really late he would drive you around and either let you have silence until you fall asleep or talk with you to keep your mind off of it

Would be good at remembering triggers to episodes and help you avoid them

Better at helping you with crashes than mania but isn't in any way bad at either of them

Sometimes would pull away from everyone when he could tell you just needed someone to help you

Sometimes would take your mind off of it and others he would let you talk about it or would hold you when you cried

Generally, very patient and loving while giving you any reassurance you need

Has a basic understanding at first

Researches things about it and keeps what she finds in a journal

Learns and memorizes all the terms and symptoms

Keeps track of patterns she sees with mania and crashes

Has comfort food, movies, and things you'll need near her when she can tell you're going to have an episode

Will watch whatever you want with you while cuddling you until you fall asleep

Gets worried when it happens but doesn't let that blind how you're actually doing

Will eat with with you to make sure you actually are

Tells you she loves you as much as she can so you know you'll never be alone through it

To cut it short, she'll learn everything she can so that she can be everything you need

Listens to what you tell her about it and remembers every last bit of information

Would ask how it went after every psychiatrist/therapists appointment but not pry for details

Knows that even though you need a little extra help from medication or people, you're capable of looking out for yourself

Will bring you your favorite fast food every time she finds out you're not eating because of it

Sits at the table and stares at you while eating her own meal until you finish

Gets you some kind of dessert if you want it when you eat what you can

Will lay on top of you so you can't get up and walk around at night when you aren't sleeping

Sometimes tricks you into thinking her telling you to look out for yourself was actually your idea so you listen

To sum it up, she'll let you be a person while also doing what she has to to make sure you're treating yourself right

Realizes something's wrong during a crash because it reminds her of when Newt was depressed

Tells you she's worried and gets you to open up

Feels a little bad when you do since she didn't expect that answer

When she gets over it she asks if you want to tell her more about it

Listens to every single word

Tells you she loves you and how important you are what when you're finished

Generally better at helping with mania since depression brings back some memories

Will stay up late and read to you when you're manic until you go to sleep

Tells you when you're making a rash decision and suggests you sit down with her and really think it though

Will start adding a "make sure to take your medicine," into her goodmorning/goodnight texts

Notices every change in your behavior and will reassure you she'll be there if you have an episode

Essentially, she makes sure you're being logical when manic and safe when crashing

Asks what she can do to support you when you actually tell her

Makes sure to always know your answer

Would pick up your medicine for you when she sees you're running low

Reminds you when you have to make another psychiatrist or therapist appointment

Has the appointments on her own schedule so she can be ready to drive you to or from there if it ends up being a rough session

Takes you to a quiet place outside if it was to get your mind off of it

Will drive you to her place after that so you still aren't alone

Talks about things that aren't actually important but make you happy until you fall asleep in her arms

Will ask if you want to talk about it in the morning after making breakfast

Respects whatever answer you give her

Overall, she'll make sure you speak for yourself while supporting you when you can't find your voice

[cripplecharacters]

Hello. I am writing a character with intellectual disability, and I have found your posts about that really helpful. Thank you for taking the time to make them.

I am trying to do research and write him well, and I was hoping you could give me some advice on how to do that. My problem is that I would like to describe the way he speaks and the sound of his voice, but I'm not sure how to do that respectfully.

What I would like to describe is the way he takes a little longer to complete his sentences, needs more time than others do to plan what he's going to say, and pronounces some sounds a bit differently because of motor skills issues. I want to honor his unique voice and also help readers understand that he is noticeably disabled.

Are there any words or terms that would be really good/preferred to describe this sort of thing? And, on the other side, is there anything stereotypical or hurtful that should be avoided?

Thank you!

Hi!

I recommend our guide on writing speech disabilities!

In-dialogue, you can try showing him taking a break mid-sentence or using a lot of filler words/sounds to show that he's taking his time. You can spell them out in his speech, but I wouldn't overuse it - you can put more of them at the start, but later your readers will remember that that's how he talks, and occasional reminders should be enough.

It's important to remember that 1) ableists often mock the things I just mentioned, and 2) they're nonetheless real and real life people (me) talk with those patterns. I'd urge you to show them as just how he talks, not something that's inherently "annoying" or "child-like". Stray away from any sorts of infantilizing comparisons in general (that is, if he's not an actual child).

For him taking longer to plan what he is going to say, that's very real lol. How it shows (or doesn't show) will be very personal, I specifically tend to look up + fidget with my hands and people who know me can recognize that it means I'm trying to say something but need a moment (though strangers also often get it). But he can show it completely differently of course.

I don't think there's a consensus on what's the best way of "spelling out" someone's speech disability. My personal preference is leaving it out of the actual speech, but making it clear in the dialogue tags. It's also easier for readers who might have reading disabilities or not be native speakers of the language you write in. So you could make it clear there whether it's that he's slurring words, has a lisp, or stutters.

For terms, a lot of the accurate ones have also been used to mock how we talk. "Slow" would be the best example, "loud" would be there as well. A lot of us will talk slow, a lot will talk very loudly. I do the latter, and I know people who do both or neither. The key is to say it in a way that's neutral and not pass it off as some funny quirk or an outright gag. It's just a speech characteristic, the same way that someone could have a lower pitched voice, or speak very softly.

You can also show him struggling to follow the flow of the conversation. So sometimes it could be that he just loses the main topic and just asks what the discussion has been about (I do that all the time), or continues going on the subject that the other character(s) already moved on from.

Thanks for the ask and being thoughtful about it! I hope this helps

mod Sasza

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

I've been thinking about PT9 and how he'd acclimate to Sim society, and what struggles everyone would face trying to incorporate him into everything, and I think the hardest thing would be communication. Sure, teaching terrestrial language to an alien species would be hard, but you're sure to find some kind of common ground somewhere in a verbal language. Eventually, using some sort of concept or comparison as a sort of key, you'd be able to start translating things.

But what if you didn't have a verbal language to work with?

Back on Sixam, everyone had antennae, and everyone was always sort of tuned into a huge cloud of thoughts and emotions, like a hivemind. There was this constant buzz of feeling, at all times of the day, ever present in everyone's lives. You could feel the boredom of the students in class a few buildings away, you could feel the grogginess of the morning as neighbors woke up and started to get on with their days, you could feel everything. The aliens had written language, for documentation and stuff, but it didn't have a verbal equivalent. It didn't need one. You could have someone read the words, and the concepts could be shared immediately to everyone else in the room, no need to even open your mouth.

PT#9, having heard of the diversity and beauty of Earth (or wherever the hell Sims live idk), decides to leave everything he knows behind and settle down there. His travel through space isn't quiet, either, as he's got communication devices and a whole host of things on the ship that keep him tied to the network even when he's out in space.

And then he gets shot out of the sky by a fucking missile or something and when he wakes up in the crater, it's silent. Deafeningly, crushingly, overwhelmingly so. He can hear the remains of the ship smoldering and sparking, and the garbled noises of radio transmissions from the huge metal towers, but nothing holds any meaning. He can't feel anyone near him; at first, he's worried that he's crashed in a completely deserted part of the globe.

It only gets worse after he meets Jenny. He's trying to communicate with her, trying to understand what she's feeling and what she wants, but there's nothing. He can't tune into her wavelength, and it seems as though she can't tune into his. Nobody can. They just keep ignoring him, whether they mean to or not, and instead they just keep chattering on in that strange melody that pours out of their mouths without end. He's blasting signals out into the world around him, trying to explain that he's lost and confused and injured and scared, and nothing is listening. Nobody's there to even hear it.

Eventually, he starts picking up on things. The noises are usually consistent; these creatures make the same noises to refer to the same objects. The "egg" noise always refers to the white oval things in the little carton in the fridge. But sometimes the noises are wildly unpredictable, used for things they shouldn't apply to or trying to mean something entirely different with the same sounds. It's mind-boggling to him, and progress is slow, but the two of them make progress together. His field was always biology, anatomy, studies of the body and how it works and forms. He has an easier time understanding the diagrams in Jenny's textbooks than he does Jenny herself. He's definitely no linguist, but he tries his hardest to bridge the gap, for both their sakes.

He gets the hang of it after a few years, enough to get by, and sometimes to even hold a decent conversation, but it's always slow and never instinctual. The concept of trying to crush so many ideas and feelings into such odd and unnatural vocalizations feels pointless. Exasperating. Why can't they just listen to him directly and cut out the middle man?

Improvement gets exponentially faster after Johnny is born, though. Having everything laid out simply, and seeing how people start to understand these things from the ground up, helps immensely. Pol and Johnny sort of learn to be normal Sims together, or at least as close as they can get.

Finding out that are other aliens and half-aliens with antennae gave him a little bit of hope, but he quickly found that none of them really used them. Most of them had been born into all of this "talking" stuff, and the ones that hadn't had already become fluent in it beforehand, leaving no use for the direct communication. Strangetown was still quiet, filled with chatter that only had meaning if you focused as hard as you could on the sounds. Pol was always in the dark, no matter what he did.

He left Sixam to be free of the noise and rigidness of it all, and boy, did he get it. Nothing made sense to him anymore. Nobody was guiding him or telling him what to do or updating him on the news or simply spilling out all their frustrations into the network. It was just silence, for as far as the antennae could feel.

An extra tidbit that occured to me: Pol would know exactly what happened the night Pascal got abducted; for the first time in two decades, someone got close enough that he could eavesdrop on an intelligible message.

[reverssentiment]

What are the salient features of Asriel, post-canon, that keep us from "saving" him from life alone in the Underground?

He's soulless (a practical problem),

he'll soon return to being a flower (a practical problem) and would prefer that you think of him like this rather than Flowey (a personal and interpersonal problem), and

he's decided to stay and tend the grave of the fallen child (and this is not really a problem at all; rather, a decision, which the boundary conditions of Undertale require us to respect).

There is a lot of UT post-canon fic out there which treats all these as practical problems. Frisk can just get a soul from somewhere, throw Alphys technobabble or soul arcanobabble at the body issue; get Flowey in therapy; and... also get Flowey in therapy for that last one, because his decision isn't really legitimate, in save-the-goat stories. It's self-harm. Which, personally, is both understandable and missing the point of one of the game's core themes: no matter how many times you restart the story, there are things you can't do; you are not getting a 100% Complete Perfect Pacifist where even Asriel is saved, and it's okay to be wistful about it, but you still need to put down the controller eventually. Getting him to the surface happens a lot in fic, because we all want the goldenest ending, but it could never happen in canon and we just have to live with it. It's thematically potent and I'd lose a lot of respect for Undertale's commitment to its story if you could circumvent it.

(Incidentally, this feels to me like it stems from the same ideas as making "* I have places to be" the wrong answer, a giving-in to Frisk's self-sacrificing, self-disregarding nature which must be corrected. Sometimes, you have to let people live and make their own decisions, outside the boundaries of the story's frame. Your perspective only goes so far.)

...now, fluffier, more sympathetically-traumatized Asriel, on the other hand...!

Ralsei's woes in Deltarune are very visibly the same kind of isolation as what Asriel's dealing with at the end of Undertale, but a) it's worse (a whole lifetime of waiting in a very deliberately empty, lifeless, three-screen-long kingdom) and b) he's stuck there for purely practical reasons. Darkners can't enter the Light World without becoming objects. He never made a decision to be here.

It's not something we can technobabble our way out of right now, but we're only in Chapter 2, right? We can save him, in a way we can't save Asriel: the deadlock we can't resolve has been removed; we don't really have to think about his preferences any more, because the preferences that kept us from helping him and left him stuck in the Underground I mean Dark World are just gone.

His issues are also much more obvious from the get-go, and seem designed to be something we talk him out of – not Asriel's decision to stay by his lost friend's grave, with a weight of meaning and feeling behind it, but hero worship, subservience, religious dedication to the Prophecy and self-image issues, all clear and visible dysfunctions. Giving Asriel therapy has left the realm of fanfiction and wish fulfillment and become part of canon... and the real disagreements we had with UT!Asriel over what he was and meant and deserved have become simple roadblocks for DR!Asriel whoops I mean Ralsei, things we have to help him through. Practical problems where the solution is friendship speech + therapy.

To make a slightly heavy-handed comparison, Ralsei saying we exist to serve Lightners and gratefully referring to himself as Kris's lackey is Anthy saying I'm the Rose Bride because I like it. It's the kind of reason we're inclined to reflexively overrule without working to deal with it at its root. Ralsei is Asriel, minus the irreconcilable and bittersweet parts, someone whose objections to being helped have either been removed or simplified down until we can feel good about disabusing him of them. He's our wish fulfillment in the way that candy on trees might be Susie's and a city of shining lights might be Noelle's and Giant Arcade Consoles might be Berdly's: an Asriel you can help, who you can make go to therapy and deal with the problems that keep him from caring for himself; who'll shut up, comply and let himself be saved.

...so the fact that Kris – whose personal issues are opaque, complex, and frustrating; who appears to be actively hiding parts of their life and motives from us; who clearly doesn't want our help or an improved social life at the expense of their agency – finds him so distasteful might not just be because he's a parody of their brother or Secretly Evil or whatever. If Ralsei is "the kid they're supposed to be" it's not just his fluff and horns!

[pikachu78109]

Worst Traits That Some Pokémon Champion Has

((Whenever I have some downtime, I try to get back into the swing of creating more Pokémon character headcanons. I love writing and I love headcanons, so this lil post will continue with me giving random headcanons to some of the Pokémon champions whom are all flawed in more ways than one. No one is perfect, so why not dive in?))

Blue

Getting this obvious trait out of the way, Blue can be overly competitive and a horrible sore loser. Yes, he has mellowed out, but that doesn’t mean that the occasional pout never emerges. Usually, Blue can make a one off comment about how “you just got lucky” or “I just felt a bit off today”. Excuses make up the majority of Blue’s sore loser behavior, which has caused some trainers, especially Red, to be put off by it. Of course, Blue has matured greatly and he has gotten better at being sportsmanlike. However, this immaturity creeps up now and then and Blue’s not particularly proud of it.

Tends to hold grudges. Blue’s someone who doesn’t forget. Chances of him forgetting a specific negative event, ie. your rival beating your ass after you’ve been Champion for at least five minutes, tends to leave a bitter sting. Of course, Blue’s grudges tend to loosen and fade away, unlike for others *cough Lance cough*.

Can be dismissive of other people’s feelings and experiences. To put it bluntly, Blue can be an ass. Sometimes. He’s quite capable of being understanding, but he’s a smartass for whenever something occurs that he just can’t relate to. He doesn’t mean to be insensitive; he just doesn’t understand the bigger picture unless somebody spells it out for him, likely Leaf or Prof. Oak.

Blue finds it hard to separate himself from his grandfather due to Agatha’s comment made about him towards Oak from Pokémon Generations. For a long time, Blue has gotten a reputation albeit an indirect one from others because of his relation to Oak, thus feeding into the idea that he will follow in Oak’s footsteps as a Pokémon Professor. He HATES being compared and does what he normally does: he denies it all. Do not get the wrong idea; Blue loves and does respect his gramps. But the constant expectation and comparison pisses Blue off that he becomes defensive and just speaks negatively about Oak. It fills him with guilt; he knows how hard his grandfather works, but Blue can’t deny the fact that being compared to Oak fills him with resentment which hurts more than what Blue’s willing to admit. Not so much of a bad trait, but definitely an insecure one.

Red

Being a silent dude, Red has a tendency to not vocalize what he really wants. He usually allows people to voice his choices for him, which has caused him to feel like a doormat several times due to this. It’s not that he’s indecisive, but he unfairly puts this expectation of people understanding of what he wants in the air. People cannot read his mind, therefore it’s difficult to understand what Red actually means. This ends up frustrating Red to the point where he’ll walk off and do something. Blue or Leaf do get where he’s coming from, but even they need clarification from time to time.

Lance

As I mentioned with Blue, Lance is another Champion that tends to hold grudges. However, unlike Blue, Lance holds grudges with a deathly grip. If he encounters someone who has done something bad either towards him, his Pokémon, or friends and family, he will forever remember them and make a mental note of what they did. Lance is notorious for this trait because he doesn’t relent one bit if he happens to cross paths with this wrongdoer. He’s a very protective man, so anything negative that occurs to either of his close relationships, consider this a warning. It doesn’t matter if it’s small or big or in between. Lance WILL remember and WILL constantly remind you of what you did.

Workaholic to an unhealthy degree. If he’s not doing any Champion work, then he’s either a) helping out at the Dragon’s Den, b) doing detective work (unauthorized), c) mentoring young Dragon Tamers, or d) training with his Dragons. It’s gotten to a point where it’s affecting his performance at the League, not to mention his health, that the Johto Elite Four has had to prevent him from getting terribly sick. Like, Lance it’s great that you’re hardworking, but please remember to just LIVE.

Lance can be very blunt, which can be a good thing or bad thing depending on the situation. On one hand, it’s great that Lance gets to the point. No need to beat around the bush. However, Lance has quite the sharp tongue that it’s not always warranted. Say, for example, a situation has occurred where someone gets upset at something insignificant. Lance cannot read the room, so he lets his rational, big brained self comment on how it isn’t a big deal and explains why that is. Chances are he’ll be seen as an asshole and people will just stare at him like he has said the most offensive thing in the world. Lance genuinely wants to help by giving advice, but fails to realize that, sometimes, advice just isn’t needed.

Tries to be the leader in most situations but comes off as too intense or reckless. Look, if this man is content with having his Dragonite use Hyper Beam on a random dude, then this should speak volumes. While it’s good that he takes charge and wastes no time, he can be sloppy when it comes to handling crime scenes. He can throw himself into danger and not think about the consequences, hoping to God that whomever accompanies him just trusts him. I swear, if Looker saw how Lance handles crimes scenes, he would have a stroke. Now I want a buddy cop movie with Lance and Looker, geez.

Alder

Alder has a tendency to up and leave without telling anybody. This is especially true with the Elite Four whom don’t know where Alder is or what he is doing. Alder is quite nomadic as he doesn’t stay in one place for too long, so he comes and goes whenever he pleases. It’s rather frustrating for the Unova League as they cannot accept challengers if their Champion is out. Marshal understands Alder pretty well (seeing as how he was Alder’s apprentice at one point) and doesn’t question it too much. Grimsley doesn’t care. Caitlin does care to an extent, but gets extra sleep out of Alder’s disappearance while Shauntal is probably the only one who tries to keep tabs on Alder’s whereabouts albeit unsuccessfully. It’s not that Alder doesn’t care about the League; he cares a great deal for the League and the good opportunities that it presents to Trainers. However, Alder’s lack of presence has landed himself and the League in hot water with Pokémon League officials, which causes Alder to feel overwhelmed.

Can be non-attentive at times. Alder can pick up things fine, like the feelings of Pokémon. However people are a different story. See, I think Alder as a sort of nomad or hermit type who doesn’t exactly have the best social skills. Like, he can communicate fine and get across his feelings without problem. But with certain people, Alder kind of zones out and shifts conversations drastically to avoid anything too awkward, despite it already being awkward. He’s a good listener to an extent and can give sage advice, but just have patience with this old man. He’s doing his best.

Iris

Being the youngest Champion can be the best thing in the world. However, it has its drawbacks. For one, Iris being a child has led to her being brushed aside by many people, playing down her strength and aptitude as a Champion. It strikes a heavy nerve within Iris as she fought and struggled her way to the Champion position all on her own (due to Drayden’s tutelage of course). Iris takes a lot of pride in her abilities and gets a bit too emotional whenever someone doubts her capabilities. And adding onto it more, she can act out immaturely. Iris strives to be more confident like her other Champion compadres, but it still irks her that she acts so childishly whenever someone makes a snide remark at her. She constantly feels like she needs to prove herself when, in actuality, she needs to let it go and not allow rude comments to dictate her behavior.

Leon

Much like Lance, Leon can be workaholic. Aside from being the Champion, Leon also does a lot of work for Chairman Rose that’s not related to the League. He doesn’t have nearly enough downtime to chill and Oleana has a schedule of meetings/errands that Leon has to do because Rose expects him to do it. Do it for Galar. Leon used to have this unhealthy mindset of if he doesn’t do something that Rose asked, or rather demanded, him to do, he wouldn’t be doing his role as Champion properly and would be revoked. This man has been Champion for quite a long time and that mindset lingers in the back of his mind well after Rose got the boot. Leon still feels the need to represent Galar and tries to do his best to do what he can and hope that it’s enough. To summarize this entry, Leon is a bit of a people pleaser.

Leon downplays his troubles to a concerning degree. Whether if it’s him getting hurt or sick or feeling depressed, Leon brushes it to the side and pretends that he’s okay in front of others, even friends and loved ones. Leon’s pretty good at masking his issues but a few cracks slip here and there. Raihan and his mother confront him about it, which Leon does open up a bit, however it’s minimal and he keeps reassuring them. With the amount of pressure and expectation being placed onto him daily, Leon forces himself to swallow his problems and continue to push onward. It’s still a problem, but Leon tries to do better at taking care of himself and allowing himself to feel whatever he’s feeling. Progress is progress.

[scoobydoodean]

I've noticed people often point to Donatello as the model soulless person and then argue the sharp contrast between him and Sam as proof that deep down, Sam is just a really shitty guy who has terrible thoughts that he manages to keep under wraps only with a soul. I don't think this is that fair of a take.

I think using Donatello as the contrasting character is cherry-picking and that Donatello is a very poor comparison for Sam. Donatello is more of an exceptional soulless person than a rule. We see multiple examples in season 11 of other people losing their souls. Several go crazy and murder people like feral animals. None of them have the ability to feel right vs wrong—they just understanding the existence of the societal rules they've grown up with, and either accept those rules or don't based on what they believe is in their best interest. Previous traumas also seem to play a role.

Someone like Donatello has never been through anything traumatic that we know of, and he's just a professor. He has no need or incentive to kill anyone and no previous traumas that might induce him to want to harm anybody. Intellectually, he likely understands rules as a good way of maintaining societal order. He also understands that if he breaks the rules, he's going to get in trouble and lose his job, go to jail, etc. He isn't a fighter. He's just a professor and all he wants to be is a professor. The biggest moral quandary he deals with on a daily basis is whether to bump a student's course total up half a point to get them to the next letter grade. His goal is simply to continue being a professor. The rational option for him is to be a model citizen whether he can feel what the right thing is or only understands rules on an intellectual level.

The core thing soulless Sam tells you about Sam is that being a hunter is the occupation he finds most interesting (or else he'd go do something else that he found more intellectually fulfilling). All he cares about is killing monsters and capturing alphas and the intellectual fulfillment he feels when he clocks a witnesses lies (6.06) or solves the latest case puzzle. Fulfillment isn't nearly so cut and dry for Sam with a soul, because he has to deal with emotions which create more conflicting goals and desires than simple intellectual stimulation.

Hunters live lives where they are constantly faced with moral dilemmas that normal people will never face, and they know how to escape legal consequences. This is what makes soulless Sam such a dangerous hunter and why the outcome is so different from someone like Donatello. Soulless Sam's most rational option is not necessarily the societally acceptable one. Sometimes there is no societally acceptable option or any written rule that encompasses the complexity of the actual situation. Normally, hunters will "feel" out what's right and what's wrong in these situations. Soulless Sam identifies this ability as something he lacks. Sam recognizes this as a hindrance at first and wants Dean to fill that role for him (6.01, 6.06, 6.08). However, he also slowly begins to think that maybe other hunters are the problem and are hindered by their emotions and that he is better because he's capable of pure efficiency-based rationality. This is why he lies to Samuel, lies to Dean, and keeps secrets from Dean for Samuel (6.06, 6.07). He wants their help to reach his own goals, but increasingly sees their potential emotional reactions to his actions and each others actions as an inefficient hindrance that will impede the mission.

Letting a vamp turn Dean isn't something Sam with a soul would do or likely even think to do. This is the guy who went on two multi month revenge quests after his brother was killed (3.11, 4.01/4.09). With a soul, he cares about Dean's safety—even when he pretends he doesn't. He's hurt and killed people for hurting Dean or to keep Dean safe and he's been willing to hurt and kill more (example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4, example 5, example 6). Soulless Sam also has no reason to want Dean harmed unless it benefits him. There is nothing in him to love Dean, but there's also nothing in him to hate Dean. When he sees Dean being turned, and stops in his tracks, and smiles, it isn't actually because he's taking pleasure in seeing Dean being humiliated. There's nothing in him to feel hate toward Dean like that. Even hate like that would require a soul. Why Sam is smiling—what he's taking pleasure in—is seeing his plan come together—a solution to the issue of "find the alpha vampire". He immediately realizes he has an "in", and because Dean is merely a tool who can benefit him, his suffering that occurs in the process doesn't matter to the equation—just what Soulless Sam can get out of him. Using Dean, he's solved the latest intellectual puzzle. The same thing happens in 6.10 when Meg is on Dean's lap with a knife, making sexually suggestive commentary. Sam laughs—and Dean at first thinks it's because soulless Sam enjoys seeing him being treated that way, but Sam tells us he's laughing because he's figured Meg out—because he realizes she's desperate and scared of Crowley. Laughing at her takes also takes away her sense that she has the upper hand.

[hisui-dreamer]

could you possibly do some headcanons of some twst boys of your choice with a skinny reader?? if not its fine lol

his unconditional acceptance

Characters: Deuce, Azul, Epel, Silver

Synopsis: How does your lover treat you if you're insecure about being skinny?

Tags: reader is skinny, fluff, comfort, bot proofread

Word count: 936

Notes: Thanks for asking! I took this as a 'insecure about being skinny' sort of reader bc some of my friends are like that and I have more references hehe. Also gentle reminder that all body types are equally lovable and there's no need to change anything as long as you're comfortable! Variety in people exist and that's what makes people special <3

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

Deuce finds it a bit confusing that you would be insecure

he thinks you’re absolutely perfect and he’s still surprised you like him!

but without a doubt, he’s very supportive of you

he values hard work and self-improvement, so he understands the struggles of insecurity and would want to help you overcome them in any way he can

he can be a bit blunt at times but it’s always laced with genuine care and concern for your well-being

provides reassurance and encouragement, and incredibly patient in helping you build self-confidence

constantly reminds you that you are valued and loved just the way you are

his lack of tact and slip-ups may sometimes unintentionally hurt your feelings

but he’s super quick to apologize and make amends, please don’t be upset!

invites to go jogging with him so you can exercise some, and automatically matches his pace with yours

 gets you water and towels the instant you need it

he tries super hard to support you in whatever way he can

is also super willing to beat anyone up who dares comment on something they shouldn’t have

Deuce’s cheeks are flushed as he tries to meet your gaze. "Remember that you are so much stronger than you think. You have overcome challenges before, and you have the resilience to overcome these insecurities too. I'll be here to cheer you on every step of the way." He smiles genuinely, fiddling with his hair.

Azul loves you for who you are beyond your physical appearance

as someone who has struggled with his own self-esteem and acceptance of his body, he’s more sensitive about body image and is surprisingly empathetic (for a scammy businessman) towards others who also face body-related challenges

he feels a bit self-conscious about his own appearance in comparison to you at first

but he strives to be supportive, understanding, and accepting of your body size

he knows firsthand how hurtful it can be to be judged or bullied for you appearance

he puts his silver tongue to use and showers you with compliments and gifts so often you won’t have time to doubt yourself

hugs you and whispers words of affection in your ears

he won’t stop until you accept them

this man is willing to go to great lengths to please you and make you happy

loves getting you snacks whenever you feel hungry

and indulges you on any food cravings

also sometimes sends the leech twins to check up on you to see if you’ve eaten

"Oh Angelfish," Azul says as he pulls you into a comforting hug."You are deserving of love and acceptance, regardless of your size or appearance. You are so much more than your physical body, and I admire you for who you are on the inside."

Epel empathises with you a lot

he is more understanding and supportive towards your insecurities

he knows firsthand how it feels to be dissatisfied with your own body

makes you so many apple treats so you can munch on them whenever you’re hungry

he tries to boost your confidence by offering words of encouragement and reassurance

he doesn’t like showing you his weak side, but sometimes he shares his own struggles and how he has learned to cope with them

he will rant to you a lot about vil

it’s a team effort of growing to be comfortable in your own skin

you learn together to focus on their strengths and accomplishments

the two of you set realistic goals for self-improvement on daily habits together

it’s a cute relationship where you both learn and grow

listens patiently and offers gentle words of affirmation

loves giving hugs, holding hands, or just gentle physical reassurance

he’s so happy that you can find comfort in him

also tries to eat most of his meals with you so he can make sure you’re eating properly

Epel clutches both of your hands, his eyes firmly on yours. "I know it's hard when ya wanna change things 'bout yourself, but remember, you're my sweetheart, and I love ya just the way ya are. I wouldn't change a thing about ya. You're special and unique, and that's what makes ya truly beautiful in my eyes!" he exclaims.

Silver's super supportive of anything you do

make efforts to reassure you and boost your self-esteem, showing kindness and empathy towards your concerns

always listens to you talk about your worries attentively no matter how trivial it is

offers words of encouragement and tries taking actions to help you

this man tries super hard to fight off his sleep for you

when he does eventually fall asleep, his first thoughts are you and how you’re faring

takes on a role of being a protector and supporter for you, always trying to make you feel safe and secure in their relationship

he is patient and understanding towards your insecurities given his serious and reserved demeanour

patient and understanding, never rushing or pressuring you to change or be someone you’re not

accepts your insecurities and helps working towards building your confidence at your own pace

he’s your knight after all, he would definitely go above and beyond to ensure your well-being, both physically and emotionally

becomes more assertive in addressing any negative influences or situations that could affect your self-esteem

Silver knelt to the ground, placing his lips on your hand. "I am here to support you, my love, through thick and thin. Your size or shape does not matter to me, for it is your heart and soul that have captured mine," he promises as he looks up at you, his eyes full of love.

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

Part 2 ✧ Masterlist

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hey hey! I've read your rules like 3 times and I think this is okay, but I'm really sorry if I missed something! Self aware Leona, Azul, and Jamil with being the favorite specifically because the reader can relate to their trauma in a way?

Eg, having a golden child sibling (Leona), having been bullied (Azul), or essentially being parentified (Jamil)

I don't think this counts under the trauma dumping rule, but again, I'm sorry if it does, or even if it's on thin ice!

It’s (at least in my eyes) not exactly trauma dumping but you are right with it being on thin ice. Some authors are a bit more sensitive than others after all. Also, I have no siblings so.. uh… I tried my best with Leona.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, imprisonment, murder, unhealthy relationship, family problems, obsession, stalking, manipulation

Leona Kingscholar/Azul Ashengrotto/Jamil Viper-Player is able to relate to their problems

Oh so you also have a sibling? Never heard of the higher power of this world ever having one

With Sunset Savanna being more relaxed but still very respectfull when it comes to you he isn’t going mad over new things he learns about you (just sometimes having that happy, bubbly feeling in his chest… gross… tell him more!)

But then his Overblot happened and… yeah… you two had a talk

Would you look at that? Even otherworldly beings can have that totally healthy and absolutely not toxic comparison to their supposedly better part of their family

Leona also already stalking… uh pardon. I meant sleeping everywhere you are doesn’t help either

But now your presence is even more like warm sunlight on his skin for him

So let’s set the scene, you are walking through the garden of the school and suddenly somone pulls you into the shade of the tree just to lay their head on your lap and sleep once more

And I am not talking about a ten minutes lap… I’m talking about a four hour thingy

But hey, the air is warm, the dorm leader who declared you his pillow hair is soft like a slinghtly heavy, warm blanket and you can’t remember when you had the last time more than a few hours rest

And boom! You wake up in his room

Oh no no no. This isn’t some sort of yandere fan fic… ha…haha… but the door is unlocked and nothing else but Leona clutching onto your side in his sleep is holding you back

What did you expect? A cage in his room with you in it? Do you even know how hard it is to take care of someone imprisoned whilst having to hide that you are the person who kidnapped them?

But that doesn't mean he won’t use other means to mentally chain you to him

Always using his brother to gain your sympathy, saying that you don’t care about him…

Before you know it you are once more his pillow, combing through his hair with your fingers

But wait, isn’t he smiling? Nah, he was just disappointed a second ago…

Prepare for the tears

No joke, this poor octopus will break down the second he hears you have been bullied like he was

Azul is already… special when it comes to you and even hearing that someone called you once a not-so-nice name will make him break down

And later on burn with passion to make a deal that is totally not shady and not life-ruining with them

Please tell him that it’s alright

That was all in the past and you are now ready to move on and just live life the good way

Also, can you hug him? For him? For me?

What can I say, after you defeated his overblot form and had that talk he started to treat you like you were made out of glass

Not like it was much better before but… I don’t know… he just does the coodeling on a whole other level

Before this Flozd liked to squeeze you and Jade to be a well-meaning meneace in your life

Over those bone crushing and mind grinding times, you are going to be well protected until you feel like you are an antique in a Museum

And if someone dares to do something to you (or rather, what Azul understands under that) then whoopsy! They are suddenly gone

No need to visit the beach any time soon. That sea foam looks suspicious…

But believe me when I tell you that you will eat the best food you ever tasted in your life, for free!

You are more to Azul than just an allknowing scholar. You are someone who understands him and he will be damned if he lets anyone treat you less than with utmost care ever again!

Cue to Medusa popping up and getting defeated

But imagine the shock on Jamil's usual calculating face when he saw you laying a cold towel on his head just when he woke up

Why was the Overseer teding to him? A mere servant who even betrayed his own master??!

He gets even more confused when you insist on helping him after Kalim is up to his usual doings

To be honest, he is thankful

He was a bit shaky on those legs after using so much magic and you helping him is something he appreciates

But this raises the question, why do you seem so experienced in taking care of someone and helping them as well?

Oh no, Jamil won’t be so tactless to just ask but he will watch you… right after he took care of the silk Kalim ordered

Jamil has admired you his entire life. An otherworldly being who even made the Sorcerer of Sands look up into the sky and search for your wisdom among the stars… how fascinating!

And what power you must posess! You were even able to enter his world-Jamil Viper, a student that doesn’t know you woke up without knowing how you got here one fateful day

After he gets better he is dead set on repaying you (no, he did not think about joining Octavinelle)

It’s just… you were so warm… and so kind… and so worryingly good at taking care of another person…

Wait… did he just become your own personal Kalim??!

This is also what made him finally questioning you about this and… safe to say his carefully crafted mask slipped from his face and smashed on the floor

Someone dared to make the Overseer take care of them??!

The aftermath to that is him becoming your personal servant. Kalim can get poisoned for all he cares. Now you are the important one here… in that room with the many locks.

[cikrovat]

wanna make a little rumble about this two funny guys, nothing much, just a rumble really, if you would read it to the end it would be cool 👉👈 but you don't have to! two hats spoilers too be ready

so, sif and loop, huh

a lot of people under my comic with this two did mentioned that I've wrote them super DID or like a system and I didn't noticed that at the time, but more I thought about it, the more I understand that I did it again

the whole idea of them being in one body is just really sells this, to be honest. with sif being in control most of the time and loop kinda existing their life together, because in fact it's their life too. they both understand that, even though loop didn't feel quiet belonging here, like they doesn't exactly deserve this life. after all - they fail, fail miserably, it's a sif who is a hero of this story in the end, but also they don't exactly get it that it's because of them sif succeeded. just a small change, a person who can listen and say something. who is changing with you, a helping hand

sif is a grounded reminder for loop that they succeeded, in a way, too. and everyone around them too

also in my hc loop and sif doesn't tell their family at first about this all, it's just.. awkward and too much information and also it's just two sifs and their problems with expressing themselves. well, they learning!! a little!! especially after this wild experience!!!

but everyone still notice that sif is sometimes can change their behavior. I see loop as someone who can be mean, they doesn't exactly afreid of showing negative emotions anymore such as anger and they WILL fight if they will see that sif or someone from their family being mistreated, or make a very nasty commentary, or anything, but very passive aggressively. Their family at first thinks that mb it's just a trauma response, wich is particularly true, but I think Odile and/or Isa would notice that there is certain pattern to Siffrin behavior and it's definitely Someone Else

In Isa case he would probably notice that this Certain Someone has very similar mannerisms with Sifrin, to how they move and act, to how they just talk. differents comes to what they talk. when sif is more lighthearted and silly, loops jokes can sometimes be a little bit on the self doubt side, and harsh to themselves, and their tone can feel a little more official

Odile would try to confront Sif a lot with little questions (because she was observing Loop and Sif sometimes act like them!!!! you think it's a coincidence?????) but she trust Sifrin to tell her if there is something wrong, (after all they had this talk), and Sif in her eyes looks much more happier (well, she has only one comparison with this one day before king but she can imagine how much worse it was + loop probably told a lot), so she understands that there is something but it's isn't bad and Sif just need time

Loop sometimes attend in the Emotional Buddies Club with Mira, too, because usually Sif makes them (they thinks it's very important for them too (it is)). and usually loop is trying to mimic siffrin a lot, but sometimes fails miserably and trails off. they still can say it's something from the loops and thing, but Mira also notice how sometimes Sif just change mid sentence because Sif just kicks Loop and let's them talk

and bonbon is just bonbon, Loop really loves spending their time with bonbon and trying all sorts of different things they cook. different NEW things.

tho not one of them can stomach the banana ever again. it's a nice fruit, but when the smell hits... they both would probably tell this story to their family, and while they would nervously giggle a little - their family would be a little in shock. just one of the horror from the loops they grew accustomed to. and their family doesn't exactly like that

also I think that loop still can matterialise their body if situation deems necessary, it was their body now, after all, and they grew quite fond of their mystic nature. but when looking at the mirror they see sifrin and themselves - they really put in question if they need any body at all

also as a fun bonus idea shadow's that I drew may be just a thing in their head, like they aren't real, they just show who is in control and who isn't. or they may be a real thing and sometimes their family would notice this funky spike shadow on the ground and , what??

haha, thank you for reading if u are here

[azrielgreen]

I could really use some advice if you're feeling up to it. I have been writing for a little over a year now. I hadn't written for fun since middle school probably. I genuinely have a lot of fun planning and writing and get excited about new ideas but lately more and more I've been have more moments of feeling like I'm horrible at it. I want to just do it because I enjoy it and it's a way to cope sometimes but the thoughts are still there. I can't help but look at the stats for the things I've put out there and number of hits versus kudos doesn't really help, like 95% of those don't leave kudos. I don't want to care about the stats, I want to just do it for fun but I'm feeling a bit discouraged. I almost deleted 30k/3 months of work because I just felt like everything I've done sucks. Thankfully a friend talked me down. I know I'm always going to be harder on myself than anyone else but it's still hard. Any advice so I can keep doing something I enjoy without letting it have that negative effect on me at the same time?

Thank you in advance 💜

Hello, lovely. Firstly, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Writing can be really lonely and self doubt creeps in through the cracks, so it feels natural to compare and check stats, but my god is that NOT an accurate reflection of anything resembling success/talent. Sometimes I really wish AO3 wouldn't publicly show things like hits/kudos/comments or at least give people the option to hide them if they wanted. Those numbers are tremendously distorted and will never accurately reflect what self doubt drives us to seek out.

At heart, you have the right outlook 100%. Writing for yourself is always the true path and if you follow your joy, you'll never go wrong but I think something I've noticed over the last year in fandom is how people have become quite bitter over stats and numbers, obsessive even, declaring something a "flop" if it didn't get certain numbers/likes/kudos etc... and that is just a recipe for fucking disaster. It's really hard to write something and work on it while wondering if anyone will even read it, so I do totally understand that doubt, BUT.

One thing I will say that I hope is heard by those who need it: FUCK THE STATS. They are no true indication of anything, are insanely warped over time and I do think that at this point the Steddie is oversaturated. It will always have a strong readership because it's a massively mainstream pairing in a hit show and there will be an upswing when SE5 drops (not that I'll be watching, fuck you Noah) but I think that people have to understand there is no level basis of comparison for numbers and that everything you see now is skewed by time or people using socials to market and plug their fics, driving traffic.

The attention is diminishing. All energy is cyclical, it ebbs and flows. It's been two years, people aren't reading like they were in 2022.

So, my advice to you. Don't write for other people. Don't write for popularity, numbers, relevance or praise because there is no consistent way to reliably ensure the attainment of such things in a fandom. Write for YOU and only you. You will always be your own biggest fan, so make THEM happy first and foremost and then if anyone else enjoys it, bonus. Your art is coming out through your passion, your stories are born through curiosity and creativity and they will be NEEDED by someone. Maybe not the day you post, maybe not a year after but one day, someone will find it and love it so much and it will save them.

Not to be all "back in the good old days" but I think often about a very formative and impactful fic I read which was already complete by the time I found it, it had been for years and I never got to follow & comment weekly encouragement at the time. The fic was extremely niche and controversial. It changed me as a person and I'm grateful every day the writer pushed on and completed it because I needed it so much and it was waiting for me. I think sometimes the social aspects of fandom are a real distraction from the core pull of what we are driven by as writers; creation. I think fandom was never meant to be this visible or socially accessible and comparison wrecks many people's confidence.

Those numbers are fucked, cooked or legacy. Ignore them.

In ten years, when someone is having the worst night of their life and they get on AO3, and they find your stuff that you posted, shared and created, it will be their shining light. Keep going, be brave, explore. Make a bubble for yourself with ONLY obsessively positive interiors where you create and trust that THIS THING is the greatest thing you've ever made and then move onto the next.

Writing is incredibly difficult for numerous reasons and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who devote their time, energy and effort to it the way fic writers do. Self doubt is common, no matter how much people project success.

You're doing great. Fuck the numbers. Focus on yourself.

💜💜💜

[chemicallady]

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT I'M DROWING

Part 1

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem Reader

Content Warning: talking about sex; bondage, possible heartbreak.

Summary:  getting closer to Noah is like trying to give a quick look into an abyss; it's impossible not to fall down with all your certains.

And in the end, a firm decision must be make.

Taglist: @lilhobgobbler ; @aprosiacperson

A/N: no smut in this one, sorry for that but this is the last introduction chapter, I promise. I need to do more research on /the topic/ you will find out reading but I promise you this is the last slow chapter. From next one on, we all will be on fire 🔥

Thanks to all the kind souls who are reading my story. As usual, I don't know Noah, this is fictional and I respectfully don't want to offende anyone.

Maybe for someone, reader and noah could look a bit weird in comparison with many other ff; I love realism so those dialogues sounds 'possibile' in my head. As long as the situations.

Enjoy!

《 I was fantasising on binding you.》

Day off are so weird, sometimes. Becca and Mandy, the other two merch girls, bonded pretty quick and you feel a bit left behind when you woke up in the room you share with them and they weren't anywhere to be found. You can understand why they decided to spend their day off without you, to be honest. You all are I'm New York and due to the Blue Ridge Festival being last minute canceled, the entire crew gained two days off in the Big Apple. You're relieved from some aspects because that festival is HUGE and you don't like the idea of so many fans asking for t-shirt and ski mask for hours and hours under the sun. At the same time, you regret a little how you declined Steve invitation to organise a cozy dinner in his room with him, Mandy, Becca and Chris.

The reason of this decline is all Noah's fault.

Entirely.

《 Why are you looking at me like that?》

《 I was just thinking...》

《 C'mon. Spill the tea. I believe we have enough intimacy at this rate》.

Some kind of weird silence filled the elevator making the air heavy. Good job, y/n. You were able to create even more tensions between the two of you. More than then, this sarcasm is not helping. There is not such a thing as intimacy between the two of you.

Being fucked due to an excess of stamina before a gig is not like having a long walk in the nature, hands in hands.

It's rough and primal. Exciting but somehow dry. Emotionally dry, of course, because you feel nothing but wetness rethinking about all your encounters.

Noah is not answering and neither looking at you, and you have almost reached his floor. You take a long breath before speaking again. 《 I know I'm crossing some boundaries, but it's weird. We had some best buddies moments and them because I kissed you once, you stop talking to me and started to act pretty directly. 》

It's so frustrating being an extrovert who is trying to explain is feelings to an introvert who is actually not replying at all.

《 I mean, I really enjoy the fun time you give me, but it's not like I've pictured us.》

Oh that was too much. Why did you say that???

《 and I didn't actually pictured us. It was more like a chill situationship in my head because you gave me some vibes but-》

《 God dammit I was just fantasizing on binding you. That's it, y/n.》

The elevators doors open but you prevented him to escape the situation. 《 alright this is even weirder》, is you reply while you push the bottom to close the door again. And then the one to go back to the main hall. Your are not a shy person, at least not now. Not with the guy who apparently loves to fuck the shit out of you in front of a mirror. He blushes, try to say something else but you are too confuse to let him explain 《binding me to what?》

The doors opens again in front of Matt. He looks at you surprised but before even say a word, Noah pushes the bottom to close the door. Like you have just done. And again to floor nine. 《 to nothing》 his is answer. He is in distress, like is really hard for him to provide you a decent explanation. 《 just... tide you up. Your body is so beautiful and I'd love to .... tide you up. But you are right, it's weird.》

You can feel a certain amount of disappointment in his voice and even if you don't really trust him that much or know him enough to get the exact meaning of this, you can't help yourself but touching his arm in reinsurance. His eyes meet yours and you just get a bit closer.

You're not an idiot, this guy is buff and could easily tak advantage on you, but you have seen something trustworth in him; he has such a gentle soul hidden behind an armor used to denied his very own feelings. Even if he is avoiding you, he is still gentle when you two meet around. Maybe, you overthinked for days, he is just as uncomfortable as you are with your rendezvous with zero talking in between.

《 I don't understand what you mean, that's why it's weird》 , you tell him. 《 I don't think you are weird. Well, maybe a bit, but mostly I think you're hot》 , you continue making him blush again. Noah chuckles a little laught while the elevation door get open for the second time on his floor. 《 Its a weird catch up phrase, Noah-idiot. Asking a girl to be tied up.》

《 You are not wrong》 he replies, amused by the way you're making him confortable with jokes, before putting an hand to stop the doors from closing again. 《 But... I can show you what I mean, if you want.》

《 Now?》

《 if you don't have any plans for dinner...》

《... Show me the way, tho 》.

You know that Steve and Chris really didn't care that you decided to not show up for dinner, but the girls are pissed. Anyway no one bought the excuse that you felt suddenly so tired to attend the gathering. That's why you woke up alone in the room. Looking back at your night conversation, you can't really feel sorry for missing it. But it also has a bitter taste from some point of views. You hate to be the one who has to take decisions.

But Noah is turning your world upside down.

You've never felt that way.

He makes you feel like someone else is wearing your skin. His eyes are trustful and when he feels enough secure of himself - weird how someone that pretty can he shy and with a low selfsteem- he turns into this primal, feral seducer. You can't get enough of him. His mouth on your body, the grip of his hands, firm but somehow armonic.

It looks like he have studied how to be a beast in bed. And after yesterday, you only got solid evidence of this suspicious.

You have never heard about Shibari before. Your have always pictured bondage as a strainge kink, connected with pain and humiliation and you're not the kind of person who likes to be humiliated at all. But Noah is pretty clear about what he actually wants.

《 Shibari is a matter of aesthetics》, he tells you why showing pictures of naked women tied up with beautiful knots and intricate ropes combinations. 《 Its not even connected directly with sex. The schemes of the ropes are related with specific body points; every knots has a deep simbolic meaning. My intention is not to control you or humiliate you, but just having some visual pleasure of your pretty body.》

You rise your eyes, trying to meeting his, but he looks a but insecure. Like is costing so much to him to expose himself. 《 If its not sex, what I get in return?》. You decide to ask first, trying to not sound greedy. On the contrary. It's quite interesting.

《 pleasure. I'll take care of you. My intentions are aesthetical but I'm still a guy.》 It's sounds so wrong seeing such a shy guy talking about this stuff and them imagining him doing such intricate knot on your body. You can't help but feel you're getting wet already and that a shame. Every inch of feminish is taken away from you in the moment you can spend some time with Noah.

《 This have something to do with the fact that you don't want to kiss me anymore?》

Another important question and Noah can't avoid but oblige you an answer. 《 No》

The dryness in this simple one word make you sigh in frustration. You look at one last photo before handing his phone back again to the boy seated next to you.《 Did you take all of this pictures?》

《 Yes.》

《Have you made sex with all these girls》

《 I usually don't make sex with a girl who likes this kind of things. I can go to a dive bar and meet someone for that. To me, this is work of art. It's helping me through a lot of stress the tour is giving me. You are an exception because you kissed me and I lost my balance.... but I believe I need to get it back》

The oddly sound of a silent hotel room followed his last sentence. 《... if I agree with all of this, with the ropes and knots, we stop to have fun before the concerts?》

Noah let himself fall on the mattres, lost in his thoughts. You can tell he doesn't no for sure. 《 Maybe. I can't tell you for sure. But the choice is up on you; I want force you anyway. 》

Since the moment you have left his room, you can't stop thinking about him. About how intrigued you feel in letting him doing whatsoever he wants with your body. More than that, everything you have will be just a dream in the moment the tour will be over.

You have in front of you one last month with Noah and the chance to experiment something new.

But do you really want to be part of his photo collection and be remembered just as another chick he tied up?

It's not so easy to pick up a decision.

Especially because you like him, a lot. And losing him will be painful anyway.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! Idk if you've done something like this before but if it's okay, could i ask for a comfort from Jumin? My body dysmorphia issues went out of control lately and I'm just having a hard time looking at the mirror without feeling like breaking down and just panic in general. I just want to hide away from the world so no one can judge my body anymore and say nasty shit about the way i look and what i wear or my size whether I'm too big and just ugly

Jumin understands what it feels like to be under scrutiny from the rest of the world. It happens when you grew up the way he did. It's tough out there, even if he doesn't admit it. Of course, he has dealt with it his entire life and the way he has decided to go along with it is to brush it off like it's nothing. That's not healthy but when you came into his life he realized he needed to stop compressing everything down in the bottom of his chest and ignoring it.

Even someone in a place of privilege is allowed to struggle and have insecurities, his consciousness of the situation and how other people have it worse than him is something to be spoken about, but it's just as important to remind him that he's allowed to admit that he needs help sometimes. Your kindness is what has made a difference in that line of thinking.

You can be honest with him when you're having a bad time. Isn't that what you told him? If you're worried about people talking about you behind your back, you don't need to worry about that. Nobody in this world is going to say something ugly about you and get away with it. Sure, he can't stop people from saying what they want to say, but he can stop them from saying things in the public eye.

You are his partner and that means he is committed to you no matter what comes next. He is more than willing to gush about you and Elizabeth. He is that guy who has pictures filling up his wallet to the brim. He loves his family, what can he say?

But don't think he hasn't noticed how you don't like to take pictures and how you avoid mirrors. He's a perceptive man and you knew that when you met him. He's not going to pressure you to talk about something you don't want to talk about, but at the same time, he doesn't want you to waste away and wallow in insecure feelings when it's important to talk about them so you can overcome that feeling. Beating these feelings down is always easier said than done but it gets easier when you have somebody you love.

He's here for you, and if you need to break it down in his arms, go ahead and do it.

Sure, he understands that there are beauty standards in this world that aren't kind to anyone, and seeing how much it eats away at you makes him want to do more for society to put a stop to it all. He doesn't want to see you suffer, and he doesn't want to see anybody else suffer from these feelings of self-loathing.

You shouldn't be surprised when I say that he would talk to Zen about this feeling. Yes, he'll talk to you to find out the core problem that you have to deal with, but this is Jumin we're talking about. Once he has a subject in mind, he's going to do whatever he can to learn as much as he can... and, you know, Zen is overcompensating by complementing himself because words have power.

The more you say something, the more you believe in it, and the more you call yourself beautiful, the more likely you are to put some weight into that value in comparison to calling yourself trash. He is out of his element when it comes to knowing the right thing to say, and he's willing to admit that. He wants to better understand what makes you feel that way and how he can adapt in the moment to help you build your self confidence the way that Zen has built his.

Once he feels more comfortable, he's going to do something about this on a larger scale, but what you need is something at home for you to feel better, and he's the one to make sure that happens soon. He is thoughtful and methodical in the way he approaches you after your bad day. He cups your cheek with his hand and sighs, happy to be home with you, even if you need to sob into his embrace.

"My dear, I understand that my words may not counterbalance or even overcome what you think of yourself. I recognize that these are issues that don't disappear with a few kind words, but I want you to know that you are beautiful, witty, and everything I could have ever hoped for in a partner. Being able to face the world with you at my side brings me confidence... confidence I had not known until I met you and decided to be myself. Your beauty is more than your looks, but I know saying so may feel like I'm trying to avoid calling you the words you fear most, but that is not the case," he'd whisper with love in his eyes.

"Your smile lights up my world. Your hands warm my cold heart to the surface. When I feel the weight of your body lean into my arms, all I can think about is how wonderful it is to know your body intimately. Seeing you waiting for me at the end of the day is all I could ever want and dream of. Your beauty is leagues about what you value in yourself, and I hope one day I can help you see that."

[yuseirra]

Your essay reeks of passion. That's what I like about it.

I'm just as obsessed with psychology lol. I tried to analyse and anticipate this relationship when the manga wasn't finished yet and I got it right lol. I don't think we'll go wrong with our interpretation.

It hurts like hell when I see this ship lol, because it could have been beautiful and I love both characters. I think it also have an special meaning for me.

STORYTIME MOMENT

I think it's also because, I have to admit, one of the reasons I was an Ai yume / waifuist was because I found the character lovable but also because I felt understood (I have a pretty cynical view of the world lol but I'm taking care of myself). Thinking about helping me to get better and get back on track. Coping with life's problems at a time when I was being neglected. To give a little more meaning at a time when I was becoming nihilistic. So I wanted to give meaning to fiction. Because the real Ai was someone I understood. That person who was crushed by the world and just wanted to learn love, I could understand that. I've found a little joy where I was morose. It saved me. I wanted to love her, even though I know it's fiction and that she can't love me. It hurts me to know that, in the end, she hardly ever had anyone to love her. I wish I could have been that person. I don't care if it's unrequited. I love her. It's CRINGE with a C lol but it's true. A dimension separates me from her, what a sadness lol. I'm bound by the chains of attachment to her, and it's my curse and my blessing.

So I kind of understand him. When you don't have much, all it takes is a little and everything lights up. But lose it and you become dust and plunge into the abyss of despair. And in the possible and probable desire to make sense of it all.

So I want this ship not to end even worse, because I want someone to love her since I can't. A final tribute, even if they're separated by the barrier of life. Let my girl and my boy be happy for once.

Even if the work is dark and a bit creepy, it's become a work of comfort and I think I put a bit of my soul into it lol (as a text whose intensity I should have measured out).

You often make the comparison with Japanese gods, but I'd also like to give you another possibility that I've noticed: the story of Layla and Majnun. A man who can't marry the woman he loves because of circumstances around him and his mistakes, becomes crazy about the woman he loves and can't give up that love.

I was going to leave for the night(and I will after I answer this ask!) but I felt I shouldn't let this one go unattended for long..(it usually takes some time for me to get to messages;v;!! I need some energy)

Wanted to attach a picture of Ai!

Mhm, I can't daren't say I "understand", but I always felt like Ai is very real in many aspects even if she's a fictional character. What she's going through can apply to people in real life, and it's portrayed in a very lifelike way. I remember having read a review the first time I picked up this series, the person reviewing it wrote they could relate to her character so well because it is exactly the way they felt about things. They really couldn't comprehend what "love" could actually be like, as much as they wanted it, so they kept struggling to pretend they knew about it- something like that, I don't remember the exact details.

I felt from the beginning that her song and her story could reflect how some people really are, and that there would be people who's been where she is- but reading something like that really struck me. I feel Ai could and would be a very important/precious character for some, she displays emotions and goes through experiences that can be their reality. That makes me want to pay careful attention to depicting how she is sometimes/when I bring out her character. She's unique, but also quite universal.

I can't say I can fully understand how you'd feel because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can see how what you've mentioned can happen to you, it's really comforting to find something that you can relate to in a piece of media, right? It is that way for me too. Also, I hear fiction has that magic of increasing one's empathy (I read a study proves that in a book) we get to see how other people function and come to realize what they face a little better, we cry and laugh with them. When there's a character that's built really well(and Ai is created with careful attention and a lot of research, I feel, she's so detailed and delicate in terms of how she is as a character) it helps even more on that aspect. I respect that.

And isn't Ai really strong? She gets hurt, she's wary, scared and weird and she isn't perfect and she's built a big mask of lies, but what I felt about her on top of all that is that she tries really hard, and she never gives up on trying to love. Thinking how a young girl who's been so hurt and lonely and abused/neglected as a child was able to endure everything that she's gone through, and even HELP someone else during those struggles, and still dreaming, going out there to achieve what she wants about life, that's pretty inspiring. I think she can be a good example, despite her having met a pretty sad fate. I don't think her life was a failure, it was filled with new challenges and she tackled it with all her heart and she finally got what she really wanted in the end. She lived vigorously. There's a lot to learn from her, I feel. She perseveres and makes her wishes come true. That's why I want her to be happy in every aspect :) (her boyfriend better live up to her and I feel like he is someone who can) as well as everyone who's been in that spot to be as well! I want onk to be a story like that, and I think it will? I think that'd be the point of making Ai like this. This character has the potential to make people happy as she becomes happy in the story herself. So I want that to happen!

I make a lot of comparisons with Japanese gods because this is a Japanese piece and I feel it's what the author would've actually used as reference! (didn't read kaguya-san but I heard that one has some jp folklore refs too!) But I'll look into the story you mentioned as well! I don't think I'm familiar with it yet but it seems interesting! There are a lot of stories about unrequited love, isn't it? ;v;) but I hope this one gets a happy ending.

speaking of which, Hikaru's name is Hikaru Kamiki right?

I probably said this but he may be collecting light(Hikaru/hikari) (from the star eyes??) to become a god(kami) like Ai who's returned to being a star. (Ai hoshino=love of a star) I feel star=god in this universe from the stuff they're keep implying.. so it's about trying to reach someone who's far away. You know, this is actually what Mephisto's lyrics imply as well.

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine < this.

I'll be, if this isn't the case. I'm so convinced at this point.

I don't really want to add on to your personal experiences and discuss about them, I feel it'd be rash of me to make some sort of comment on it. I'd like to tell you I've read it :) and the fact that you can open your feelings up to someone, I feel that's a good sign. That needs to happen in order to heal, I believe. I hope good things happen to you and you find a lot of things that give you joy, and I really hope this series will live up to it too! I want it to have a satisfying ending ;v; come on.. I bought the physical books too~... I'm glad I have something to be passionate about to say the least-(I'm glad you can tell!) it's a loved series, so I wish it gets a great closure for both the fans and the ones who are responsible for creating it.

We'll see how it wraps up! I hope it will be an ending I will love~ and that hikaai will sail bc;; I really can't see it not being any other way for it to get a meaningful closure. For now, goodnight~