#but sometimes the hate was over the top
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it makes me want to tear my hair out when someone mentions that platonic relationships need to have sexual/romantic undertones to be interesting. friendships that blur the lines between romantic and platonic is great, friendships that have sexual relations are great, any kind of friendship is great. but these days im seeing this awful thought of "friendship needs to not be strictly platonic to be interesting and platonic" and people don't realise that this is just "friendships are less important than romantic/sexual relationship" in a different font. im very intense about my friends and each of my relationship with them is different than the other. one of my best friends is also almost like my partner. another one of my best friend is just my best friend. there is nothing romantic or sexual orientation whatever between us. i love both of them dearly and one relationship here is not more important than the other to me. i smile so wide my face hurts when i see her walking towards me. we used to live a few streets away and yet everytime i saw her i used to run to go embrace her. i have seen them in their lowest and they have seen me in mine. i do not want to kiss her on the lips or make her my girlfriend. the thought has never crossed my mind. but she has saved my life multiple times. she is a part of my soul. she is my friend. and if you say "yeah, that's what i mean, that emotion and its intensity is inherently romantic!" then that means you haven't experienced the height of love and care friendship can offer and im so sorry for your loss. also you are subscribing into the inherently harmful thought of "everything that is intense and meaningful is romantic". like my wonderful friend vik once said, "they're not my just anything. they're my friends."
#while we're all here i just wanted to say#both “applying a pre-conceived template over the top of every relationship without perceiving them as interesting dynamics that can be stra#and “saying every meaningful friendship needs to be more than just platonic is bad” can and should coexist#jolts upright. you see sometimes not everything has to be complicated. simple is good and beautiful too#you don't need to be 'weird' and 'strange' to be valid or interesting#a friendship does not contain multitudes because it is a mixture of platonic/romantic/sexual. it contains multitudes because of the people#who cares for each other so deeply with no other rhyme or reason than "i love you. under this endless sky in this stupid world i love you-#“and want to be stupid with you. let's go get burgers today. did you know that i would die for you?”#AND IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN PLATONIC! HOW CRAZY IS THAT#and if you think that's boring then. idk what to tell you man#maybe you just hate whimsy#what matters more in this world than your friends?#life may suck but at least there's this guy you befriended over books that would burn the world down for you#vi talks#friendship
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but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore
#also known as 'he wants so badly to run away with his boyfriend and marry him and live happily ever#after'#but his commitment to dutch and the gang breaks his heart#i want them to be happy SO BAAAD SO BAD IM GOINGN TO THROW YP#also the top right one comes w a headcanon#which is that kieran can only bathe if javier is there (and only javier) because otherwise he's too terrified of being k*lled for either bei#ng trans or just in general because he's alone#so that's why he's usually stinky#he really hates being stinky but he doesn't consider it worth dying over#anyway i love them so bad and their little fishing dates#kieran infodumps the whole time and javier feels so lucky to be alive because he knows kieran doesn't talk around anyone else near as much#if at all#javier knows 99% of the fish knowledge but he never interrupts and is always happy to listen to kieran yap about every other topic too#i need to put javi in an 'i ❤️ my autistic boyfriend' shirt#ok i'll shut up now#also i know this composition looks like total shart i'm literally the worst at doing them </3 be nice to me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#am i allowed to say that i own this ship#considering i literally made it LOL i feel so proud even tho it also makes me miserable that i bascially have no one to talk to abt them#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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you did the university au and now i just NEED to know what everyone’s majors are
omg okay - i did all of this with my bestie like YEARS ago so some are open to discussion ofc
Natsu - physical education - seen as most likely a way to just mess around all day and ultimately go into teaching physical education
Lucy - creative writing, with astrology on the side - self explanatory guys
Lisanna - veterinary studies
Juvia - Marine biology
Levy - modern languages, creative writing, or english literature
Erza - fashion design
Gray - economics - he looks like one of them
Elfman - nutrition - hense gymbro vibes and judging everyone on what they eat
Jet - physical education - but to actually use it for competitions and the sports science side of things
Droy - botany
Gajeel - engineering - music societies on the side, or he's just the guy to start jamming at student night
Cana - astronomy and astrology - when asked about what different constellations mean, she tells them it means they're a dork
Laxus - criminal law
Bickslow - hospitality - listen he's got the energy of a chaotic manager who can charm customers who are kicking off and will just sweep things under the rug but still runs a smooth business
Freed - classics, ancient languages
Evergreen - cosmetology
Mira - early years education
Jellal - philosophy
If you liked this, check out the Masterlist
#lucy could also be journalism she gives me those vibes#jellal and freed are uni besties since classes might cross over sometimes#jet absolutely hates natsu in his class because theyre both top students but jet wants to be the best#fairy tail#fairytail#fairy tail headcanons#fairy tail fanfiction
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Smn here said: fluffed up for winter Kuya! And imagine, Kuya had enough of feeling a tiny bit cold, and he just turns into this fluffball round type of fox that we sometimes see on arts! Completely soft, round and unapologetic about his foxian beauty! (Almost biting off Quincy's hands when he tries to touch the Flooooof just to be a dick)
((Scaring Eiden silly by coming alive from a ridiculous fur sofa in Aster's living room (Eiden thought he was sofa, it's not Kuya's fault he is not very smart)))
(((Inspiring Karu/Garu to do the same, and now everyone is covered in fur and spit, and Eiden's bed has never been this warm)))
((((Yakumo is knitting everyone dog fur sweaters, hats, socks and scarves))))
oh god pompous winter kyorb is gonna activate every histamine in my body he's a cushion with teeth he could be lying ANYWHERE in the mansion i hope aster doesn't have a lot of purple furniture because if he does ..this is gonna be the most stressful holiday party of everyone's unbitten butts
#feesh answer#CAN'T SIT ANYWHERE. CAN'T REST. NOWHERE IS SAFE#vindictive ancient purple sphere (that bites) is not on my top list of house guests#all the cold people are not gonna complain because there's a blanket of fur insulating the entire mansion#is garu's wolf fur the colour of his hair.... or is it more navy.....#hmmm.....#ok everyone is getting purple/blue/brown knit accessories as their holiday party favours#depending on how well they take care of their fur...#what if the accessories are itchy...#isn't fox hair... not actually that soft? and wolf fur is quite . tough?#but what if kuya's fur is surprisingly soft because he is OBSESSSED with taking care of his looks#bathroom filled with fur conditioners and nutrient washes and softening serums.....#what if there's a sweater that's half kuya's fur half garu's fur#it's split down the middle#and you're itchy on the garu side because the last time that boy took a bath was. no one remembers#eiden tried ok!!! he tried!!!! but sometimes karu takes over and the challenge increases tenfold#slippery pup hates baths. parkours out of the tub and disappears into the muddy woods for 6 days#where am i#right.#i'm gonna find that bald sheep from greenwood miracle and steal his wool
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Been getting an influx of obvious spam/porn bots and also blank blogs in my follows the past couple weeks so I guess this is a good time to state my policy on the latter again:
I don’t block blank blogs that follow me on sight if they have usernames that look like a person might’ve chosen them (ie not a random mash of letters and numbers). This is because it’s possible these blogs might be real users brand new to tumblr (or newly remaking etc).
However, I do go back and check and if after 1-2 weeks (whenever I remember to check) the blog still has not been customized with an icon etc and still has zero content, even likes? Blocked. If it has likes or other content but those seem…sus to me in very specific ways I won’t get into? Blocked. This is because I have decided that either the blog is a bot, is not intending to truly use tumblr anytime soon, or may be something more annoying or outright harmful specifically to me.
So if you’re new to tumblr and just followed me, hi! Please start using tumblr by reblogging and liking posts! I hope you’ll enjoy your time here. But…I’ll block you if you don’t actually use your blog. Sorry!
#kidk says stuff#I have a long-time stalker who loves to make new blogs to do nothing but harass me with threats and gobbledegook#she disappears sometimes for years at a time (she’s on hiatus from me now as far as I know) but when she comes back!#ohhhh I know her when I see her even when she hasn’t started sending me shit yet#but if you do NOTHING with your blog so I can’t tell? I block so if you’re her you never get the CHANCE to bother me#((details available on request for mutuals—it’s a wild story))#I also have another stalker but i don't block her bc i think she'd go ballistic in a non-funny way if she discovered i blocked her#so I just endure her in my inbox occasionally. she otherwise uses tumblr normally afaik. i don't stalk HER after all so idk#it’s so funny how weirdos have gravitated to me over the many years. I have storiiiies…these two and otherssss...#I just vibe in my corner and people decide they hate me. kind of amazing really.#oh ps when I say long time I mean the situations predate tumblr’s existence. these people have stalked me on *multiple websites*#for *decades*#((meanwhile my *funniest* stalker hasn't found me on tumblr that i know of and hopefully stopped stalking me manymany years ago))#((but that story was bizarre in a genuinely hilarious way on top of being creepy as hell. truly one for the books.))#((when i say i've had weirdos...i mean it.))
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i never take the 24 hour maintenance serious until its 24 hour maintenance.............
#been over a month since i've done nude gposes that's so long for me :pensive:#i WAS working on it last night but D&D was too good to not be focused 100%#alas i must wait longer for nude screenshots dramatically lays myself down on the couch arm across my face#(I'll live) <- Me when i lie#jk i will be fine i'll just rotate her in my head like the plumpiest juiceiest hot dog at the 7/11#been writing about Prudence falling in love with Odette and WHEW BOY makes me cry everytime#prudence hates it odette doesn't even clock it -- the love nun not clocking when someone trips and faceplants in love with her (wistful)#its because of all the loathing the love is steeped in and also because odette for all her wisdom is a dummy sometimes god i love her#also.......................................................... very tempted to make a poll asking people if they think odette is#top or bottom or verse or a secret fourth thing......#(because we all know top/bottom/verse is different from sub/dom/switch right??? RIGHT???)#I think the answer is obvious but i can crack open my characters like a walnut to double check so.......#hello first day back to work after a week off for bereavement and i feel a little insane about it can you tell lmaaaaao#i don't wanna focus on all the things i have to do re: That Thing That Happened#instead i will think of the characters thanks
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genshin stop infantilizing furina challenge (they've already failed)
#look. clorinde's quest was so much fun. but i absolutely hate the way they destroyed her character#she acts childishly sometimes i'm not gonna deny that#but she very much isn't a child.#this entire quest had her being treated as dumber than the rest of them#being unable to pick up on the hidden messages etc etc#and then getting very easily frightened#she's over 500 years old?? she acts very theatrically and can act as a brat sometimes#and she isn't very politically inclined#but she's not some stupid toddler????#on top of that there is no way she knows nothing of the marechaussee#i repeat: she is FIVE HUNDRED years old#furina genshin#furina#genshin impact#oliveden speaks
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hiii!! I love your meta and your writing overall 🥳🤩‼️ if you’re still doing the ‘share snippets from wips’ game, can I ask for the Teia and Viago bit from Dragon Age 2024? 👀 Or your choicest morsel from Rye x Lucanis, your Rook has so much depth and vibes, I adore 🥰💯 thank you!!!
Hfkjshskad thank you so much, that is incredibly kind and means a lot to me!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️ I think I’ll go with the Teia and Viago one here, though I may post a Rye/Lucanis wip snippet as its own thing at some other time!
Necessary Context: After the dragon attack on Treviso barely being fended off, when Viago and Teia meet up again they just stare at each other vaguely mutually shellshocked for a few minutes and then have some really intense sex about it for the first time in a while. This is right after that.
She kissed the tears from his cheeks, stroked his hair as he blindly turned his face towards her, as if searching for her in the dark. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, her heart broke all anew, all over again. You would think it would run out of new ways of doing that, eventually. It hadn’t yet.
“Oh, mi amor,” she sighed on a soft broken laugh, cradling him closer to her with an artless helpless sort of greed, “what have you and I done to each other?”
“Nothing I would ever let anyone take away from me,” he said, voice cracked open but steadier than she’d ever heard it.
. . .
“I’ve missed you so much,” she said.
“You see me every day, now,” he said, with that characteristic unerring instinct for pedantry. She wanted to laugh almost as much as she wanted to cry. The world was ending and Caterina was gone and everything was coming apart at the seams faster than she could stitch reality or the city itself back together towards wholeness, but Viago de Riva remained perfectly, inalienably himself.
“I do,” she said quietly, stroking his dark wavy hair away from his forehead. “It makes it worse.”
His bare hand found hers. Their fingers interlaced, tight.
“Yes,” he said. “I know the feeling.”
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#andarateia cantori#viago de riva#teia x viago#my writing#(It’s just a one time thing and does not count as them being on again in the on again off again of it all yet#because they hate me and want me to suffer until literally the final few hours of the game I guess :') )#had to get some antivan endearments in there while I can because I frankly do not believe lucanis would use them#neither as recipient nor doler out he does not seem like a pet name kind of person to me personally#he's intense but not effusive like that. do you guys see what I mean. I like to think teia would tease viago with over the top endearments#at the drop of a hat tho we must see how red a man's ears can get while still maintaining enough blood for an er -- well actually#let us not stoop to crudity but you see what I mean to imply lmao#feat. the patented vaguely-concerned 'well. something goes here. no idea what yet' gap between paragraphs!#bane of my existence and my closest companion#sometimes months of struggle truly is ended by '...what if I just. remove the gap. does it basically work the way it is'#and it's the same mix of bitter and sweet every time fhdskj
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every year around this time I rewatch Julie and the Phantoms, and every year I am reminded how much heart this little tween show about grief and hope has
#more thoughts in the tags#it is at times what the kids call 'cringe' - or it would be - if it wasn't so earnest#sometimes you don't need a perfect budget or 20-somethings pretending to be teenagers#or a large following or sequel appeal#sometimes you don't need big complicated anythings to make a story that ought to be told or a show that ought to be seen#sometimes you need to cast children as child characters#and come up with a theme that everyone can feel on some level [death] [hope] [love]#and choose loud colorful costumes and big cheesy music numbers and silly gags and over-the-top bully characters for the FUN of it#and pour every ounce of heart you've got into it and if netflix cancels it after one season? you gave that one season your all#jatp#there's a difference between big-budget stories written to profit from lust or shock or violence--#--and stories that are written for younger people and dealing with something people of all ages will eventually encounter#stories that are written about characters who lean on loved ones and focus on what they can do with what they've got#characters who are determined not to waste their lives or the gifts they've been given and instead to push on with excellence#specifically in order to benefit others#and what a bonus if the young lead actress is an incredibly-talented darling who is not sexualized by any part of the show in any way#what a bonus-bonus if the other protagonists are three good-looking dead dudes from the 90's (just because the writers COULD)#who are so openly affectionate and brotherly and huggable that you genuinely watch and think 'I hate that they died'. and you're SUPPOSED t#that it perfectly portrays what a real healthy best-friendship looks like - both for girls AND boys#that it perfectly portrays what TEENAGERS can be like#(not the high school. the high school is insane. it is cartoonish. I am 98% sure current high schools aren't blue and furry like that.)#and the main ship? luke and julie? that is seven-layer bean dip romance right there#like an onion. LAYERS to unpack#they did not have to make the ghost boy who seems most unbothered by death go back to his parents' home and weep#where he thought no one could see him. weep over lost time and past mistakes he can never take back. because he was loved#and loved unconditionally even if things were hard sometimes. kids need to see that in shows#they need to see that good parents are not perfect AND good parents love you. and that YOU are not always right#and that life is too short to let the sun go down on your freaking anger. open up your mouth and talk to the people you love and try.#the nuance of the bully character? that Carrie is a hard worker and talented JUST LIKE JULIE#and using it for ALL the wrong reasons in all the wrong ways
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love how the older skaters in the senior division give Yurio encouragement and that each time it pisses Yurio off. JJ is intentionally condescending so that makes sense, but with Viktor and Yuuri they're not even being condescending. Yurio's just dialed in on being a hater... and i love that for him <3
#'plot twist i LOBV you' -Yuuri#'i am going to skin you alive' -Yurio#yuri on ice#sometimes he is a teenager#he's got so much fury in his tiny body. and yet he is also just an earnest lad. i find him sooo funny silly#which he would hate me for!!#I recall a meta post about Otabek being the first one to verbally recognize how hard Yurio devotes himself to skate and I really dig that#like I think Yurio's frustration is justifiably rooted in how little others take him seriously despite his life-consuming dedication#I DO think he is over the top and i enjoy this; for it is entertaining.#but i also think his feelings are genuine and he is a complex little guy.#i'm thinking of him sharing his grandpa's food with Yuuri and being emotionally vulnerable with him at the waterfall#Yurio is a hater on his opponents (and Viktor) but I think on some level he recognizes the genuine care Yuuri+Viktor show him#I think Yurio doesn't understand how they can be encouraging to him while also taking him seriously#Cuz Yurio is so wary of his elders dismissing him#so older skaters being friendly translates in his head as 'they dont think i can beat them / they dont see me as an equal'#But I think when these relationships are removed from that competitive atmosphere Yurio DOES see how they care and he appreciates it.#It would be so sweet to see an older Yurio reflect on this time and realize that Viktor + Yuuri + others DID take him seriously#and just because they were fond of him it doesnt mean they didnt appreciate his talent.#tbh being a young athlete must be such a mindfuck and idk how these bitches do it. send tweet#yuri plisetsky#yoi meta#queue#my words#AWW right after writng this i watched the part where Yurio starts yelling encouragement to Yuuri#who internally tells himself 'i got more stamina than that fuckin Yurio mf' (paraphrasing lol)#they switched love languages <3 cheerleader & hater role reversal
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i want to keep being catholic so badly but honestly I don't know if it's actually good for me. like I think a lot of the stuff that is part of being catholic is actually bad for my brain
#i used to be so chill about my religion i was fr vibin every Sunday just enjoying the music and the routine#then i dated this one guy. and he low-key made me hate the church with how over-the-top pious he was#church and religion and god became about *him*#my relationship with the forces that created the universe was being forcefully reshaped to align with *him*#he left me no room for independent thought or criticism of the church's deeds. everything Jesus had to be done by the book#and it had to be done CONSTANTLY#and now i go to church alone and im stuck there perpetually trying to flush that guy out of my brain#to reclaim my relationship with the universe#to once again make my religion *mine*#but it's hard#and sometimes i think it's too late for that#his performance of catholicism forced me to ask questions i didn't think I'd have to ask#and it became clear that the church is deserving of criticism and deserving of people fighting for change within it#there is so much adding up#and it gets tiring#when it used to be such a safe haven for me#tw religious themes#tw religion#catholicism#catholic#vent#im not like other girls
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(mgv) the first few heats after giselle's birth leave house consumed with parental devotion. he is protective to an insane degree and if she isn't gone to stay with someone before his heat really kicks in, any and all energy that would have gone into sex instead goes to being feral over the baby. example:
house and their pup are curled up in a nest he has carefully constructed for Maximum Comfort + Hide, practically wrapped around her as they nap. wilson left earlier to go grab a snack house had asked for and got sidetracked while at the store (keeps finding stuff they may want/need/might like and it becomes a Whole Thing) so he ended up being gone for long enough that house dozed off. when he comes back and house hears the sound of the front door unlocking, his eyes shoot open and he's instantly growling -- he's not even really awake, just running on pure instinct while his brain struggles to catch up. it's enough that when wilson walks in and hears it he stops on reflex -- an omega, in heat, nesting, with a pup, growling? alpha weakness. shakes them to their blood even when it's their omega because when instincts run high like that. even those in bonded pairs will tread carefully because the omega will Not Hesitate. it's not until wilson hesitantly calls out to him that house shakes himself out of it ("rrrrmrrgghhrrr--" " 😰 house?" "--rrrmpp?"). then when wilson walks in with the snack and whatever other little tokens he found he plays it extra safe as an apology for being gone for so long; keeping his head bowed, placating notes in the scent he puts out, staying a respectful distance away from the nest until house explicitly permits him to come closer (house rolls his eyes when wilson hesitates to enter the nest even though he so clearly wants to)
#look you can hire an actual sitter with this ->#all you have to do is make sure when we come to pick her back up she has *your* scent on her so house doesn't find out#house mgv#hilson#house md#mgv#copy pasted from discord wojaflamh them folks over there get me on a roll sometimes#house hates leaving her for someone else to take care of especially when she's still so small#claims it's for health or developmental reasons but really he's just incredibly attached#his top 3 options for babysitting are chase thirteen or cuddy but they're all doctors so. yeah#luckily wilson was prepared for that. he brings her over and sneaks them some money like#once they meet nora the process has a lot less steps bc she can actually just watch giselle herself. i think#i haven't met her yet idk what she does but we're running on the assumption she is Not as busy as a doctor. plus she thinks giselle is ->#just the cutest thing and is glad to have her for herself for a few days
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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here’s another ask! What is a tick/character aspect that Dobble secretly likes about each of the cats?
Hmm let's seeee
Naturally with T.C. he admires how much he cares for/all he does for the gang and how much that cat tries to make the best life for them despite their situation or their poverty. I think he simultaneously despises and admires how stubborn T.C. is as a person.
Benny is a very happy and funny little guy and he's almost always able to make Dibble laugh even just a little bit. He does wonder how an innocent lil lad like him got wrapped up with a character like Top Cat but does recognize just how important he is to him and how much he looks up to him.
Dib really likes how expressive and empathetic Chooch is and especially likes how his enthusiasm is contagious. If he's excited you also will be very soon. He's very transparent and wears his heart on his sleeve, he doesn't try and hide his feelings away like most people Dib knows. Also he's very fluffy. Foofy fella. Foofy woofy Choochie boy.
I like to think that Dibble secretly wishes he could have Spook's relaxed attitude so that he wouldn't be so stressed all the time. Spook has got sort of a calming aura to him and while he does beef with Spook the most (besides T.C. ofc), being near him is like a little mental break and he also offers some damn good wisdom and advice.
Fancy's self-confidence is only to be rivaled by the most popular of celebrities, yet he always managed to make room for the fellas in his life despite how many girlfriends he might have at the time. Fancy's boisterous enough to be incredibly charismatic yet he's also humble enough to recognize what he has and hold it near and dear to his heart. Dibble thinks more people can (and should) learn from him.
This is very much a self-indulgent headcanon but Brain is very much Dibble's favorite kitty. Aside from just being the cutest and silliest little scrunkly around, Brain is very kind, patient, doesn't believe in holding a grudge (most of the time) and is a very good listener. It baffles Dib how he didn't become a cold-hearted cynic with all he's been through. Brain's unwavering kindness is a shining light in Dibble's grim career, reminding him that the world doesn't have to be so evil.
That was very long winded and yappy but atp that's the standard for my Sleepy Middle-of-the-Night Posts
Also I meant to reply to this earlier my bee I took a 3 hour long nap and forgot i was alive when I woke up
#top cat#top cat 1961#top cat headcanons#officer dibble#charlie dibble#at his core Dibble is the local Crazy Cat Man#sometimes he goes out of his way to visit the alley and the lads on a bad day (unconscious decision)#Brain likes to climb up him to perch on his shoulders sometimes#at the beginning the chief would often yell at Dibble for letting Brain climb all over him#but Brain never really got in the way of Dib's work and would usually hop off him once he left the alley#and also it's Brain he can do whatever the fuck he wants and you better let him cos he's so stinkin cute#tibbiaych I'm making a confession here i think Brain might be slowly overtaking Spook as my favorite lad#but if that's the case it's like 51 to 49 y'know#deegs dialogue#I mostly talk to myself in the tags tbh#DID YOU KNOW I USED TO HATE BRAIN??? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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i don't think i mean all the evil things i say, sometimes i know i don't mean them as i'm saying them, but i still have to say them or i'll die. i do my best to apologise after it's over in a way that goes beyond a simple "i'm sorry" but i don't think it's ever enough.
#dylanlila.mp3#and sometimes i mean them but in a lesser capacity. but i have to be over the top for some reason#it's best when i don't say anything at all. i just want to listen to things that have nothing to do with me directly#everything i do has to be a spectacle and i hate being that way because i am not doing it on purpose it just happens
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