#but sometimes i wake up with a very strong sense of something without having any memory of my dreams

[starlightseraph]

i just woke up with an overwhelming, all-consuming need to get the answer to this question.

idk what i dreamt about to prompt this, but into the rabbit hole i go, i guess.

[darkwaveho]

Damage Control: In the night

Summary: You’re not estranged when it comes to your girlfriend breaking in and entering your room unannounced but the reason behind it is what constantly eats away at you but tonight you no longer keep quiet about it. (Basically an injured Natasha using your room as a safe house.)

Pairings:Mob!Natasha x reader

Warnings: brief mention of abuse, hurt-comfort, small mention of blood, fluff? Brief smut.

Series Main masterlist

You lay there without fear or concern seeing as you’re already aware of who that could be entering your window. Small noises are heard, and the bed barely shifts after a few moments you will yourself to open your eyes with intentions to turn fully towards the cold body in your bed. Strong arms stop you in your tracks holding you in place. “Go back to sleep.”

The sound of her voice is so much richer within the nighttime it almost distracts you from what you know to be the truth. You needed to look at her, you needed to see her face before you even gave yourself the opportunity to even think about sleep anymore. Of course, Natasha isn’t going to budge, and she knows you aren’t either, that’s exactly why her grip around you grows stronger as you continue to fight against her. You huff with annoyance before finally saying something to her.

“Let me see you.” It’s silent for a moment, a moment too long in your opinion that lets you know what type of late-night visit this is. “It’s fine, I’m fine, now just go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up.” She dismisses any concern that you have as always. “What was the reason this time?” You don’t fight against her anymore, you simply just lay there as she’s pressed against your back. Maybe she’d talk about it in detail this time.

“Same as always.” Her response shouldn’t be a response she’s accustomed to but that was the reality of her life and burden of being placed in a situation where she’s responsible for everything and nothing other than perfection is accepted and even then, sometimes it wasn’t enough to save her from a fist and bruises littered across her body. You managed to turn around while her guard was down to finally assess the damage. You stare at her shadowy figure holding back your emotions. If you got too sentimental it would become too much for Natasha and in an instant, she’d be gone, you know because it’s happened before. She sports a black eye, a bruised lip and a few bruises on her shoulders. Her tank top still has dried blood on it. You don’t know if all of it is hers or not and you’re not going to ask. You quickly shift your thoughts on anything else sensing her fight or flight reaction beginning to start. You look away from her quickly as you sit up in bed you get up and head start for your dresser drawer. As you fumble through it, Natasha watches you the entire time and doesn’t say anything else. You turn to her as you throw a change of clothes at her. You aren’t doing a good job of hiding your frustration but then again you don’t care about hiding it. You’re sick of it, you're sick of her being treated this way and you’re sick of seeing her bloody and bruised by the hand that’s shot to protect her. Natasha glares at the spread out clothes on the bed and snaps her eyes at you. “I didn’t come here for pity, I don’t need a change of clothes. The clothes I have on are just fine.” 

“Those clothes are not fine, YOU are not fine Nat! You don’t need a reminder of what happened, your face is doing that all on its own.” You harshly whisper into the night. Your breathing is uneven, your head is starting to pound. It's four in the morning. You had very little energy to deal with this than you normally would have. Natasha wants you to forget about it, she wants you to not worry about her, she is enduring. She’s taking whatever comes her way to finish to the end. In the end when she’s the one running things in the family business. When she’s the one people are afraid of. When she has the power to make or end anyone she chooses. “I said, I don’t need pity.” She grabs the clothes and tosses them to the other side of the room with no guilt or remorse on her face. You want to kick her out, you want to yell at her for being stupid and stubborn. But you know, you know she wants to push you just to take the easy way out. She wants to find any little thing for her to run away from you and for the first time you’re starting not to care about her running away from you and her feelings.

“Then why did you come here?” She doesn’t have an answer for that she never has an answer for it at least not out loud, being in a relationship and dealing with expressing her emotions was still new to her. “If you didn’t come here for pity or to be cared for then leave out the same way you came because I’m not just going to keep ignoring this Nat, the way he treats you is not right. I’m sorry, I can’t be a shitty girlfriend and ignore the abuse that he causes you so if that’s what you want and if that’s what you’re looking for you’re wasting your time with me, I’ll never be okay with anyone hurting you.” “I’ll never be okay with you putting yourself through torture because you think you deserve it. You don’t deserve it Natalia.” You get back into your bed snatching your blanket on top of you and you make sure to turn over with your back facing Natasha. You can’t even see her facial expression right now, she’s in pure shock and an unfamiliar feeling that won’t go away is at the pit of her stomach. Her skin finally feels warm after walking in the cold for an hour to get to you. You once again feel the bed shift ready for your ears to hear the shut of your window but it never comes. There is nothing but silence.You're scared to turn around and be disappointed by her leaving instead of accepting the love and care that you constantly try giving her. The love and care she always rejects. Those deep thoughts are removed when strong arms wrap themselves around you again. this time pulling you closer. Her breath hits the back of your neck sending a chill down your spine. Her hands slightly tremble before getting more firm against your body. You don’t know if it's because of her bruised knuckles or if she’s actually nervous. “Sorry.” It’s all she says, it's all she can say at the moment but you’ll accept it seeing as how hard it is to even get her to apologize in the first place for anything. 

“Will you let me get the first aid kit?” Natasha sighs, she still wasn’t fond of being catered to and being seen as weak. She silently nods her head against yours. You silently get up from the bed and tell Natasha to put the clean clothes on. While also being careful about making as little noises as possible, you honestly don’t know if your father is home or not as of late things have been very busy for him and the family. You return from the bathroom with the kit handing her the box to do it herself. You don’t want to be overly pushy when it comes to stuff like this, plus she’s quicker to get it done than you are. She finally undresses and you honestly weren’t expecting to see more bruises with each piece of clothing hitting the floor. She’s waiting for you to say something about them, ready for an excuse to lash out and push you away again. After seeing the extra wound you look away giving her some sense of privacy instead of making her feel like a displayed punching bag. You don't forget to subtly sit an icepack near her the way her eye is swelled up. It would most likely be shut closed by the morning time if not iced at the bare minimum. You ignore the way she huffs out a force of air through her nose, she is irritated but she still hasn’t snapped at you for it, not yet. You make your way back to the bed facing away from her. When she’s done treating her wounds and putting on the new night clothes you gave her she enters the bed again. There is a brief moment of silence before her stomach growls loudly, you feel her become stiff as if that would make her hunger disappear. “Are you hungry?” 

“No” she replies immediately, it fascinates you how she’s quickly able to lie through her teeth. You raise an accusing eyebrow just as her hunger makes itself known once more, even louder than the first time. “Liar” Natasha sighs in defeat and finally answers truthfully. “Fine, I didn’t eat dinner. I was too busy internally bleeding.” She attempts to make a lighthearted joke that you don’t find funny at all. You poke her in her ribs. Natasha hisses in pain, the pain was so bad that she was nearly yelling out loud. Thankfully you’re quick by covering her mouth with your hands. “Shh, shut up!” You shush her cries and grunts of pain. When she’s calmed down a bit you finally remove your hands from her mouth. “What the fuck was that for?” She is still trying to steady her breathing and manage her pain. “I didn’t find that joke very funny, asshole.” You unwrap yourself from her embrace, without a word you stop in front of your bedroom door. “Promise me you won’t be gone when I come back?” You give a look of seriousness because she’s done it plenty of times leaving you without a word for a job, just because or simply because of her being overstimulated by emotions. “Fuck off.” She’s still upset about you poking at her wounds. You know her response is not in a malicious way so you ignore it. “Natasha, I’m serious.” She gives you her signature smirk remembering the last few times she’s done that to you, as she crosses an X over her heart. “And hope to die.” You nod once in agreement, anytime Natasha used that it meant she was serious about keeping her word. It’s a weird arrangement but it works in a twisted, melancholy way. You leave the room quickly and quietly, not taking long to prepare a snack. You return with her still in the same spot you left her in. You hand her a plate with a sandwich and a glass of milk to wash it down with. “I made your favorite, peanut butter and banana.” She can never just take things as they are so you weren’t surprised when she had a sarcastic response shooting from her mouth.“You gonna tuck me in and read me a story too?” 

“I’m close to throwing you out my window now, do you want the food or not because I can give it to the other strays that would actually appreciate it.” 

“Did you basically just call me a stray cat?” Your irritation grows more intense why? Why does she insist on being so difficult, especially at a time like this? “Yes, yes I did. Do you want it or not? I'm tired Nat.” You hold the plate and the cold glass out for her to reach. It takes a moment but after a brief pause she takes the food from you and nods her head. You know she’s thankful for it. You won’t be difficult with her tonight. After handing her the food you return to bed with the intention of going back to sleep on the verge you feel her hands wrapped around you. Her face pressed against yours and the smell of peanut butter invaded your nose. “Thank you.” Those two words weren’t just meant for the sandwich. Those two words were universal for Natasha; that's just how her brain worked. It was a thank you for everything not just tonight but other nights that have passed when she needed shelter like this. She ends her thanks with a kiss to your lips. “You’re welcome.” 

“Tash?”

“Hm?” 

“What if you left some of your clothes here for when this happens?” You don’t want to enable this situation but it’s evidently clear that this isn’t going to change anytime soon. Her father’s temper won’t change. His views on her life choices won’t change. Natasha’s mindset on leaving this life all together and running away with you won’t ever change. After a moment of awkward silence Natasha finally responds. “What am I a pet?” 

“No, I just thought it would be more convenient…actually forget I said anything.” You turn away from her again. You don’t want her to see how overly mushy and clingy you’re being right now. 

“Fine, I guess a few clothes won’t hurt.” Her voice comes out low and gentle. With that unexpected response you face her again ignoring the strained grunt that comes out of her mouth from the bed shifting. You place a small kiss to her nose and snuggle up to her chest. You massage her scalp gently knowing it helps her fall asleep faster. There’s still just one more thing in your mind and you have to ask her while she’s all buttered up. You were taking the crown for ultimate opportunist tonight.

“One more thing.” She groaned, she was actually tired now and her social meter was at its lowest point right now. “What now? And make it quick, I’m tired.” You want to slap her arm but remember the uncertainty of your father being home yet. Her breath fans over your cheek and her heartbeat finds a comfortable rhythm. Now’s your chance. “Promise me that you’ll be here in the morning when I wake up.” You hate the vulnerability in your voice sometimes you hate how much you display affection more than Natasha does. You shouldn’t be anxious to ask her for something so minuscule, but she doesn’t function like others would in a normal relationship. This was not a normal relationship no matter how bad you want it to be. “Promise.” She says it almost too fast for you. It was untrustworthy; she's known for ghosting you. “Not scared about daddy catching us together anymore?” It’s not a malicious question but the teasing is evident in her voice. She’s playing it cool right now but she was also in the same position. At times she’s being overly aware and cautious about how much time she spends away from the meeting in your fathers home office, how much she’s constantly timing herself knowing Alexei is doing the same waiting to catch her doing something so insignificant just to reprimand her. There were even times your father almost caught you two in uncompromising situations, when Natasha isn’t supposed to even be near you at all. Sometimes she's so cautious that she would ignore you completely while she was downstairs. She’s only been able to sneak away a few times to have a quick moment with you and even then that wasn’t enough for you. (It wasn’t enough for her either but you don’t know that yet.) 

“Truthfully, l wouldn’t care if he found out. I just want you safe.” Once again Natasha curses in her mind another mushy moment that she can’t seem to deny tonight. She raises her hand over your chest. The action isn’t what you were expecting at first but then she crosses an X over your heart and whispers. “I promise.” She kisses you hard, taking your breath away, she clenches to you with need and purpose. You release a soft moan savoring in the warm embrace as long as she’s allowing you to. “Now please no more talking.” You scoff at her demanding request. “Hey, it’s my room.” She hums softly and shifts to place her face deeper into you, if she could jump into your skin right now she would but she’ll never tell you that. Natasha always needs the last word, so she mumbles into your neck. “Not while I’m in your bed, it’s not.” You mumble a sleepy ‘Whatever’ and let the rest of the early morning take over you. You needed rest but most importantly Natasha needed it more than anything right now. It’s honestly taking everything in you not to throw on your clothes and drag her to the emergency room but then you know she’ll ghost you for doing it. 

You know she’ll leave you wondering about her wellbeing as retaliation. She’s done it before , going radio silent without a care in the world knowing how much it affects you. So you shake those invading thoughts and force yourself into a deep sleep. The morning comes and your body feels light, too light. You’re scared to open your eyes right now. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of disappointment. Being lied to even when you have the best intentions of keeping her safe. It sucks. It more than sucks, it’s honestly heartbreaking but you swallow the hurt and open your eyes to an empty bed. She’ll never change. You check your phone for time and it’s almost noon. You’re surprised your father hasn’t checked in on you yet but then again you didn’t even know if he was home. You toss your phone on the bed quickly turning over to scream your frustrations into your silk pillowcase. This isn’t nearly enough to keep your emotions in control but you get up from the bed to start your morning routine. Whatever you had planned to do with Natasha is not happening anymore.You'll find something expensive to buy with your credit card to cope with it. After a long hot shower you return to your room and the moments from early morning flash into your mind that you can’t keep it together anymore. You won’t be silent about this. You won’t endure pain just because she does. You stomp towards your bed with determination, you grab your phone angrily tapping away at the screen. Her phone goes straight to voicemail. Did she block your number? You never leave voicemails as it’s too dangerous in Natasha’s words but you’re angry not thinking clearly. “You think this is funny? You think you can walk all over me and my feelings? You promised, fuck that you crossed your heart! I swear I don’t know what you want from me.” You pace back and forth around your room. “I don’t know what I can do to show you how much I care about you and how much good you deserve in this world. Until you can give me an answer I don’t want to see your face, you lying piece of shit!” Just as you yell those words your window opens up and the first thing you see in the reflection of your vanity mirror is a black leather boot. You swiftly turn around as Natasha stands there. 

“Who’s a lying piece of shit?” You don’t answer her as you end the voicemail and toss your phone on the bed. Your silence is becoming awkward for her. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? And why do you look like you’re about to breathe fire out of your mouth?” 

“You left.” 

“What?” 

“You left, and you promised that you would stay.” Natasha walks back to the window and ducks down, her body half way through the opening before she grabs something and closes it completely. She brings a bag to your eye view. “I went to get you breakfast.” 

“What? You don’t do that, that’s not something you do.” 

“Oh, thanks I’ll remember that next time I want to do something for my girlfriend.” Natasha tosses the bag of food down on your desk and does nothing to hide her annoyed response. “Sorry.” Natasha brushes past your apology, she doesn’t get angry about it. She doesn’t fault you for her repeated patterns. She instead changes the subject. “Is the offer still on the table?” She stands there with a clenched jaw and an unwavering stare. Her eyes never leave yours, it's becoming  too much right now.whatever is going to come out of her mouth is clearly stressing her out to even say out loud.  “What offer?”

“Ya know, the whole dresser drawer girlfriend privilege thing.” You swear you saw a ghost of a grin, it was so quick you'd miss it if you blinked. Natasha was actually loving this new found step in the relationship. Just from the sound of the title, she’d be lying if she said she isn't making her day better. She can’t keep it a secret, it’s not like she didn’t rummage through your drawers anyway she might as well have some of her own in there as well. You smile at her trying to soften up the reasoning behind the drawer being offered in the first place. You’re glad she isn’t seeing it as a pity offering and finally accepting some of the perks of being in a safe space. 

“Yes, of course it is.” You try not to sound too eager, if you failed Natasha doesn’t comment on it. She nods in agreement and heads back out the window leaving you confused until she brings her backpack in with her and once again shutting the window. You want to ask her if she went back home for those clothes. You want to yell at her if she did return knowing you wanted her safe. With one look she can tell what’s going on in your mind and she’s quick to ease it. “Yelena, packed it for me.” She gently tugs at her bruised bottom lip ignoring the pain and starts unzipping the bag and placing her clothes into a drawer. You don’t say anything, you let her do whatever she wants. You let her have confidence and pride in placing her belongings with yours. 

When she’s done you rush over to her, pulling her into a bruising kiss that knocks her back into your dresser. She releases a low grunt from the contact and allows you to take control. After a moment you pull away from her lips. She looked dazed and breathless. “I’m sorry.” You kiss her again. The first kiss catches her off guard but she immediately holds you firmly against her. “Thank you for the breakfast.” You kiss her again. “Thank you for putting your safety first this time.” You pull back as you breathlessly whisper those words against her lips. Her hands tighten against your hips. She wants you close, she needs you close. Her lips take control this time, her tongue brushes against your lips in a silent understanding. You give her access and her tongue immediately enters your mouth. It’s too much to keep up with, she's messy today, normally she’s so calm, collected, and patient but not right now. She can’t right now because she has too much to give to you. Too much appreciation to show you what her words won’t allow. Maybe she’ll get better with that in the future. You have to pull away when you hear the sound of a car door shutting, you’re not sure if it's your father or not but you won't take the chance of being caught. Natasha groans, still chasing your lips. You chuckle at the action and promise her later to continue. You give her one last kiss as you pull away. “Let’s eat this breakfast before it gets cold.” You open the bag and it’s nothing but greasy food, you won’t complain because it’s the thought that counts. 

After eating the greasy breakfast you enjoyed the nice moment of just having her company. It was a rare occasion where Natasha got to spend this much time with you. Natasha is going through her tossed away clothes from last night, pulling out her phone she taps away at the screen that you noticed is cracked now. The screen remains black and she turns to you, ignoring your watchful gaze and curious mind. She doesn’t want to talk about it. You remind yourself.

“Hey, can I use your charger, my phone is dead.” 

“Yeah sure.” And then you think about it…the voicemail you left. If Natasha’s phone was charged it would’ve ceased your mind about her being gone from your bed this morning. You quickly snatch her phone from her. “Okay?” She looks at you curiously with clenched eyebrows. “I, uh left a not so nice voicemail on your phone when I thought you left, so yeah.” The reaction you get is not what you expected from her. Instead of being upset about it she’s being very playful. “Oh, yeah? Let me hear it.” You frown at her response. You couldn’t stay in the same room with her after letting her hear what you said, because she might leave. You never when Natasha might blow up at you or just leave you in the darkness. There’s also part of you that wants to remain honest with her no matter what. In doing this you hand her the phone anxiously waiting until her phone powers up again while on the charger. Natasha can sense it and it’s the main reason why she wants to hear it. How bad could it be? What’s so horrible about this voicemail? She reflects back to how angry you looked when she came in and she’s not so sure if she even wants to hear it now. Her finger hovers over the play button, she takes a moment to truly think about what the outcome would be if the words you said were too harsh or too real for her to handle. She presses play and she hears it. She hears everything and feels the raw emotions behind your voice. It doesn’t feel good, it's not a feeling she wants to experience again. Sure you’ve had your share of arguments and temporary breakups but this time it would be different. You basically gave her an ultimatum. Show how much you mean to her or stay away from you. She doesn’t even care that you called her a lying piece of shit. If Natasha did ultimately decide to leave this morning and not come back you would be done with her. That’s what’s making her upset. She places her phone Back on the desk to continue charging. She doesn’t say anything to you after hearing the message. She takes her jacket off and tosses it on your chair, she then starts to unlace her boots tossing those as well across your room. You stand there curiously wondering what would happen next. Natasha’s mood can switch quickly through different emotions. Just like now, you aren’t sure what type of Natasha you would get.

“I wanted to do something nice for you and you call me a lying piece of shit.” 

“You were gone Nat, you didn’t even leave a note, how was I supposed to know?”

She scoffs, not appreciating your response. “You could have trusted me.” You pinch the bridge of your nose not understanding how your cute and soft moment has turned into an argument…again. “Why are you trying to pick a fight with me right now?” 

“I'm not picking a fight, you left the voicemail, not me.”Natasha folds her arms defensively. you sigh deeply, she was indeed picking a fight with you. You’re tired of the push and pull of it all when it comes down to her and this relationship. “Are you serious right now? We already moved past this!”

“No, you moved past this and we both know that you're still upset about it.” She’s right you were still upset about it but you were willing to deal with it on your own. Clearly Natasha isn’t gonna let that happen. “C’mon, I can take it.” you look at her curiously, not knowing where she was heading with this. She steps closer to you repeating herself again. “C’mon you want to let go of your anger? Take it out on me, I'm used to it.” 

“Nat, stop.” When it's clear you’re not going to yell at her, shove her or degrade her she pushes you further. She shoves your shoulder lightly the first time then again with more force that sends you stumbling into your dresser. Natasha stalks towards you slowly cornering you against the cherry wood. “You sure you don’t want to hit me? Smack me around a bit?” her jaw is clenched tight, her eyes are glossy but the tears remain concealed in her eyes. “I can’t take it, hit me.”

“Nat.” Your frustration grows, and the more you soak in what’s happening in front of you, the more you hate Alexei. You hate him for making her this way. 

“Hit me.” She stares at you baring teeth in an animalistic way. Invading your personal space as she moves closer, her lips just a mere centimeter way from yours.

“No!” You're firm in your answer not holding back your emotion behind it either, but that only riles Natasha up even more.

“Coward.” you roll your eyes at this. You couldn't believe what you were witnessing right now. Your girlfriend needed some serious and immediate therapy. “If that makes me a coward then so be it, but like I said before I’’ll never be okay with seeing you hurt. I’ll never be okay with anyone hurting you, that includes me.” Your response catches her off guard but she maintains her composure, not giving anything away. You’ve had enough, you reached the end of your breaking point. Natasha pushed too far, as much as you want to unpack what just happened just now you can't. The fact that she thought provoking you into hitting her would make things better because she’s used to it is all you need to see. You wont allow yourself to coddle her, for the first time ever. “Get out, I’m not doing this with you.” 

Her eyes scan you over, waiting to see if you were luffing. Your stone cold, unwavering and upset. It's when you attempt to move from your spot against the dresser that has Natasha making the first move. She slams her lips against yours with desperation. You are still upset , you don't want to be kissing her, you don't like that she can pull you back in after pulling a stunt like this, but you can’t ignore it. You’re never really strong enough to stay away from her for too long anyway. “I didn’t mean-” this time you’re the one to cut the conversation short. As much as you didn’t want her to trauma dump on you, you were still going to consider the fact that she did share with you in a weird twisted way.  “Shut up.” you cup her face pulling her back into the kiss. Her movements are quick, hands moving naturally against your body. You release a soft moan, as Natasha continues her trail beneath the waistband of your jeans. “Nat, your ribs.”

“It’s fine, I’ll deal with it after. You’re more important.” You don't get the chance to protest against her selflessness. “Nat what if-” her hand slams against your mouth, cutting off any excuse you were trying to give her. She wasn't interested in hearing it. Truth be told she's using this as an excuse herself to let out her own previous frustrations, it is not entirely about an angry voicemail you left. “I. don’t. fucking. care.” Each word ends with a deep thrust. your eyes widen, you clench around her fingers. She’s moving more quickly than usual. Her movements still have the same impact under these circumstances. She's focused on your body and how you’re reacting and nothing else. Everything else is white noise. Your moan is muffled, your throat is burning with restraint. “What was that?” 

“I Can’t hear you baby, speak up.” She kisses your cheek and drags her lips against your skin towards your earlobe. “Look at you, leaking down my hand.” For a quick moment she looks down at the mess you’ve made all over her fingertips. The sight

“Am I a lying piece of shit?” you quickly shake your head, denying your own words. A condescending pout makes ”Say you’re sorry.” she removes her hand from your mouth, basically snatching it away. “Im- fuck, I’m sorry.”

“You were worried about me?” it's not a soft moment, she’s teasing you. Almost as if she's making fun of you for having human emotions, something she doesn't really seem to have. It doesn't phase you, you're used to it. The question was rhetorical, she knows you were. You’re always worried about her. This was for her own ears to hear. To hear that she mattered beyond being an attack dog or used as a pawn. Natasha kisses you softly this time, a change of emotion. “Cum for me.” Natasha's pace picks up, she flexes her muscles until they burn. She doesn’t care, she just wants to please you right now, she wants to feel your want and need for her. It sends you over the edge, your walls clench with desperation against Natasha's nimble fingers, you grip her hand pausing her further movements of trying to drag you through another round. She pulls back slightly, resting her forehead against yours waiting for you to catch your breath. 

“I’m not trying to fuck this up y/n.” it was a form of an apology and once again you would accept it. You nod slowly letting her words sink in. “I know, and I know you’ll probably never talk to me about it in detail, but just know you can. You don’t have to keep it bottled up inside and you don’t have to provoke me to release your frustrations.” her only response is to kiss you. Kiss you hard. The sudden movement of her pulling away from you in pain raised alarms in your mind. 

“Natasha, what’s wrong?” She’s clenching her side groaning in pain.you knew you should've done more to stop her. The untreated wounds are clearly more than what they seem.

Natasha starts coughing relentlessly, causing immediate concern especially when you’ve noticed the blood in the palm of her hand. “Natasha, get your shoes on now I’m taking you to the hospital.” She pulls away from you and shakes her head. “No, I’m-“ You cut her off, not letting the same words come out of her mouth. You’re sick of hearing it. “I swear if you finish that sentence.” You don’t want all the progress she’s made to be for nothing but you also want her to make the right choice. “They’ll ask questions and I’m not in the mood to play family feud.” 

“What about Melina?” Natasha releases a heavy sigh and shakes her head. “No, I don’t want to see her either.” Now you’re really curious to know what happened. If Natasha doesn’t want help from her mother something major occurred at that house. You might have to badger Yelena about it later; she can never keep things away from you like her sister can. “Okay then, I know someone who can help.” You nervously bite your lip anxiously as you gather yourself for the potential response she could give you just from hearing one name. “Who?” She leans towards her left side placing all the weight of her body on her leg. She grunts slowly, still trying to contain her pain level and it fails, it fails miserably in your watchful gaze. “Val.” Natasha’s eyes snapped at you, anger was beyond describing her expression right now. She growls through her clenched jaw, baring her teeth like some type of wildlife animal on a hunt or protecting its own. You won’t like a possessive and feral Natasha was always a win for you but this comes down to life or death, especially with how stubborn she is. You’d drag her down the front steps all the way to Valkyrie’s private medical facility she’s interning at without a care in the world about the nasty and insulting things she’d throw at you. 

“No fucking way, I’d rather bleed out.” Natasha says flatly, there is no smirk, grin or playful tone to her response. She was being serious, a bit dramatic but nonetheless serious. “Don’t say shit like that asshole. You need medical attention and since you don’t want that on record this is the way we have to go…unless you want to tell me why you don't want your own mother to help.” Natasha contemplates on her choices, she really hates Valkyrie but in this instance she really didn’t want to see her mother. Natasha grumbles as she moves away to put her boots and jacket back on. You take the actions as her accepting defeat, you move around the room to put your shoes on and grab your keys. As you move to open your door Natasha places a quick and firm hand against yours. “What are you doing?” she raises an eyebrow at your actions. “I’m opening the door?” you mirror her same expression clearly not understanding what the problem was.

“You want me to walk out the front door? You would think you're the one internally bleeding right now.” 

“Are you seriously gonna go out the window again?” Now you understand, but you won’t waste this opportunity to tease her like she did to you. “Oh, look who's scared now?” Your grin is enough to pull an unamused frown on Natasha’s face. With the possibility of your father being home and the injuries, she’s facing, Natasha would only slow you down. Ultimately leading to another brawl between her and your father, she barely has enough energy to stand on her own right now. She's truly indulging the pain. Natasha didn't want to risk it. Is it stupid, dumb and carless to go out of a window and climb down the side of a balcony? Yes, but it's what she has to do.

“Shut up and grab me a snack from the kitchen on your way out.” Natasha gives you a quick peck, steps away from you and heads towards the window. Your girlfriend is an asshole but she's your asshole and, in the night, when you get to hold her again the arguments you two had today will mean nothing, as long as she's safe in your arms. you'll care for her; you'll love her in the night.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

X♡X♡ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 3

If you gave him your heart, your soul, your body- what would he do to those things? Maybe it's time to see if he can handle your love for once, and not just the other way around.

Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, mild Angst, fluff, slow burn but we'regetting somewhere, they have mad chemistry but mc has trust issues, mentions of past domestic abuse (mental), Outercourse (basically non-penetrative sex except with a dildo), toys, Cumplay, it's messy smh, hand kink? Increased authority from kook

Length: ~5k words

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜.♡

A/N: you'll never be able to imagine how much I struggled reconnecting with this fic. This was torture. I hated this fic so much at some point. I'm not proud of this part but if I don't get this out I'll never be able to continue this series.

-> Masterlist

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Jungkook has really nice hands.

Not just in a sensual or sexual sense, but in general. They're big but not intimidating, because the way he uses them is never in a mean or hurtful way. They're soft, and kind, and they also look very nice. Masculine, and strong, veins underneath the skin sometimes a bit more visible than other times, but they also hold a certain softness to them. His nails are well taken care of, only his thumb sometimes giving you a hint of a nervous habit.

They're uniquely Jungkook. Rough, but not to be feared. Gentle, but with the potential to lead. Capable. Handsome.

They're his main way of exploring your skin too- his fingers often used to make shivers run up your spine, palms warm as they feel every curve of you. He doesn't need to look at what he's doing ever it seems like, hands having minds of their own every time they touch you.

Like a separate entity almost, listening obediently to their master's command.

You slowly wake up from your nap, feeling actually refreshed, when Jungkook walks in from the door, giving you a hint to what must've woken you up. "Oh- You're up." He smiles, walking closer with a plastic bag, though his first mission is to press his hands into the softness of the couch before he kisses your cheek. "Here- let me show you something." He impishly chuckles, sitting down on his shins, before he opens the bag on the bed.

You're in a state of shock for a good moment, not even having noticed him move.

He's got the audacity to laugh over your shoulder, front pressed into your back, hands teasing your sides as they sneak up your loose shirt.

"Bought one that's about my size." He purrs sensually, almost like he's mocking you. But it's not malicious- playful, if anything, but not mean in any way. "So you can call it.. practice." He explains, while you stare at the nearly clear pink dildo that's staring at you, still packaged together with other things in the black plastic bag in your lap.

"Jungkook.. when did you even buy those things?" You wonder, feeling almost scared to touch any of the things inside.

"Earlier, when you were napping." He shrugs easily, hand reaching past your body to shamelessly dump the contents of the bag on the bed, bag flying somewhere on the floor. "Anything look like an absolute no-go to you?" He asks curiously, and you look without touching.

There's an egg-shaped item there you're not too sure of what it might be. The dildo explains itself, clearly- and the other massage wand is also pretty self-explanatory. There's two bottles of lube- one pink, the other blue. A.. plug, with a pretty pink gemstone on one end of it. Leather handcuffs, with soft looking fur on the inside. Overall, nothing immediately makes you uncomfortable.

You don't know what gives you the confidence for your next comment you blurt out though. "Don't you have any toys?" You ask him bluntly. "Like, for yourself? Or do you just.. use your partner's body for stuff?" You wonder, and he looks at you with a sharp gaze, a smirk growing on his lips.

"I wouldn't mind using your body, that's for sure." He flirts, leaning his head a bit to the side. "Why would I need toys if I've got you?" He fakes innocence as he asks that question without expecting any answer- And for a moment, you don't give one.

But something about his flirty comment bothers you.

Maybe because you hear someone else in your head again- all the men who've degraded you over the course of time. Your ex. Your friends. Your father. You hear them laugh yet again like you're pathetic and worth nothing.

"I don't want to be used." You deny with a flat tone, and it's clear from the slight change in his eyes that he's now on high alert at your every word spoken by mouth and body language, so he can figure out what happened to change your mood like that. "I don't just want to be.. a toy you get bored off and toss away at some point just to pick it back up once you're interested again." You say, drawing a clear line.

You're not sure how he might react to this. You didn't want to make a statement like that, but you can't mask the truth. You really are scared of getting hurt at the end of this- you don't want him to just play around and then let you go.

You don't want to go. You want to stay- You want him to want you to stay.

He says your name to gain your attention, voice low and steady, horribly gentle- and it makes your eyes sting as you realize that this is the first time a man has ever spoken in such a tone to you. He notices the way your eyes begin to gloss over- and it hurts him too, the fact that you're hurting.

"This isn't just something fun to me. I think I might not have made it clear." He says, staying away from you as to not invade your little bubble you're in, letting you have your safety. "I don't know what happened to you in the past to be so full of distrust towards anything good offered to you-" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "-but I promise you, this isn't just a game to me."

"Then what is this." You say quietly, scared. "I'm scared that we're not on the same page here and that we're walking down to entirely separate paths." You complain pitifully with your back hunched over and head hanging low.

"That's because we are." He chuckles softly. "I'm trying to hold your hand here so we don't lose each other- but you're not holding it." Jungkook offers.

"I don't understand-" you shake your head, when as you look up again, his face is right in front of yours, eyes looking at your lips.

"Then let me help you." He hums towards you, before his lips press onto yours. And your body freezes.

Because he's never kissed you like this before- tender, calm and without any lust in it whatsoever. In fact, your realize only now that you've never been kissed without any hidden intentions or something to gain in mind. This kiss is soft, it's no words needed, it's love confessed in physical form. You've never been kissed like this. Ever.

And even more so, you're pretty sure he hasn't actually kissed you at all either- not until now, at least.

And it's all so confusing now, because you want to trust him, you want to just lean into him and let him have his way with you- but the fear inside you is still there, clutching your limbs, leaving you with no way to move anywhere- neither away from him, nor closer. You're currently stuck in place, and it's only a matter of time until he grows tired of you and your constant push and pull behavior.

You're hurting him, you know this.

Especially because you're kissing him back, giving him hope for something you might not be able to give him. You're cruel, aren't you? And the worst is that he probably knows even that.

Because once you start to cry, once you sob and cling to him like a touch-starved pet, letting all of those pent up emotions out because who cares, he doesn't say anything, doesn't ask what's wrong. He just holds you, gives you that moment, keeps your pieces collected in his palms for you to put back together later with his help. And you're not sure how many times you can do this.

Or how long he's willing to participate in this.

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Since Jungkook didn't make a move the entire morning, you've been spending it entertaining yourself as to not get bored. Not in a sexual way-

but by simply trying to see how strong his patience is.

It's a new feeling you've developed after just two days of being with him- confidence, and trust in that he won't ever hurt you whatsoever. No consequences he could come up with would ever truly put you in harms way, you absolutely believe in that. But what's disappointing was how he didn't ever get past a clench of his jaw, or a tilt of his head. He'd just.. let you do whatever, and never do anything to somehow discipline you.

It made you wonder. Is he even such an intimidating 'Dom' at all, or did he just make that up?

However, after talking about it after lunch, he's finally opened up to you too- having told you that he's gonna trust you too, that he'll be more open with you and his own desires, while you'll have to be honest about when he's going too far or too fast. And you agree- you want him to trust you too, want him to relax more around you as well.

After all, he wants to get to know you too, right? Not just the other way around.

What you did not take into account though, is that now, your actions actually will have consequences- and he will indeed put you back into your place in one way or another. And even if in that very moment where you piss him off he isn't reacting- he will remember those actions to remind you of them, later, when you don't even expect it.

Just like now, as he's finished some calls he had to make, finally finding time again for you. "I'm sorry- I technically told the studio not to contact me on my break." He hums into your hair, as you sit with him on the small sofa in his office, having practically demanded his attention back on you the moment he'd put his phone down, and he'd been visibly amused by it. Unbeknownst to you, he's more than just excited- after all, it feels like your week is finally gaining traction, as you no longer step around in the dark trying to navigate around obstacles that aren't even there.

He's just been too scared to scare you. But by now, it's clear that you're not. And it makes him eager to explore now that he can actually see where he's going with you.

There's a hand under your shirt, cropped top and cotton shorts nothing more than decoration really, considering he's already seen you naked. It's nothing too sensual technically- but at this point, you feel like something might be wrong with you. Because even a simple touch like this makes you.. needy.

He reaches over to the side, plastic bag rustling- and now you're actually starting to get antsy. Because there's only one bag next to the couch- the one that's containing all the different items Jungkook had bought this morning as he'd told you. And that's exactly what he's grabbing for it seems like, as he moves his arms a little to take out one of the items you weren't too sure about- already unpacked for some reason, as he holds it out for your hand to take.

"What is that?" You ask, fingers running over the smooth, silicone surface, while he chuckles behind you, since you're still halfway laying against his chest.

"Something I always wanted to try." He simply jokes. "It's really fun, according to a friend of mine. I've never used it with anyone before, but I think you might like it.." He hums, taking the toy away from you again, before his free hand pats your thigh once. "..scoot to the side for me, yeah?" He asks, and you do so, sitting next to him now while watching how he finally reveals what this.. object might be used for.

He has to adjust the belts multiple times to fit around his thigh, plastic clipping into place, before his eyes find yours, lips turned into a suspicious smirk. "Alright.." He starts, leaning back against the couch, and it's obvious that he's now demanding respect and most of all, your obedience. He points at a spot in front of him, and without words, you know exactly what he wants you to do, his expression one of almost.. pride, as he watches you stand in front of him, instinctually knowing what to do.

"Undress." He simply says, a straightforward command that you follow easily, because shame is something that you refuse to let yourself feel. He's not one you need to be hesitant with- he's promised you his honesty, after all, and he's promised you that even if things get awkward, it'll never change his view on you.

And his view of you is one of love, that's very clear to see and feel.

So it's not weird to stand in front of him all bare, clothes on a small pile next to your feet now, as he smiles. "Come here." He urges with a softer voice, having clearly realized that you've accepted his invitation into a scene now- for the first time not having needed any cues. "Take a seat, princess." He almost teases, and you do so, sitting on the soft silicone toy hugging his thigh.

It's pastel colored, multiple hues swirling together into one another, creating wave like patterns. "There you go... So pretty." He chuckles, hands running over the length of your arms, causing goosebumps to erupt from the sensation of his warm palms. He's feeling your skin a lot more sensually now, clear intentions as he touches your hips and waist, thumbs almost massaging the skin of your lower stomach, moving from the inside towards your hipbones before repeating the action.

His hands are so close to where you'd love to have them, and yet, you try and be patient. Because if you're good, he'll reward you, right?

It doesn't take long for you to notice the way your arousal makes movement a lot easier- your core by now slipping around with every little jerk of your hips, making you anxious to move more. And finally, as his fingers grip your hips, he gets into a more comfortable position himself- the unoccupied leg casually stretched out, while his back rests against the sofa, giving him a good position to watch you. "Show me how those hips can move." He urges, and you instantly take that invitation, slowly moving to test the waters.

You don't care what you look like, or about the wet sounds coming from the toy between your legs- because the feeling is insane.

He clearly let's you enjoy yourself for now, giving you free reign to figure out yourself how you like it. Your hips are squirming from side to side, ridges and bumps of the toy an odd but definitely pleasant sensation as you roll your core over it, uncaring of your arousal already leaking onto his grey sweatpants.

And neither does he care.

Watching you chase your own pleasure on his leg is just such a treat to witness- especially when he holds onto you, before he lifts his foot, forcing you down onto the toy without any warning, earning a surprised whimper from between your lips as he lets you down- just to repeat the motion a couple of times, simply to entertain himself. You're just too cute, even while doing such a sinful act. And especially when you clearly reach your orgasm is when he truly can't help himself-

hands guiding your hips to keep moving despite your clear sensitivity, just to see you struggle a little, thighs trembling and hands gripping his arms.

He's letting you lean against him, hips occasionally moving just a little, clearly still needy to feel more- and he's actually quite surprised when your hand curiously runs over the inside of his thigh, hesitating just shy of his very obvious erection that's only somewhat contained in his underwear and sweats. "You can touch me, you know?" He chuckles, making you look up at him. "I'm all yours." He tells you, and it feels like he's offering more than just his body to you.

But you don't get to think for long, because he's already helping you lay down on your back on the leather couch, unclipping the toy from his leg before he looms over you, hand running through your legs. "You didn't think I've forgotten, right?" He chuckles darkly, while his hand explores your still clenching core.

"You don't think I'm just letting you act like a brat and not put you into your place?" He purrs, leaning back on his heels, before he takes out something from the bag, his phone as well from the table close by. You're pulling back your legs, unaware that you're still exposed to him, lower lips plump and red from the friction of the toy, skin glistening with your arousal.

It's playing right into his desires, seeing you so clueless about your own appeal.

You're watching him press a hidden button on the toy, the pink object buzzing to life once, red light blinking while he taps away on his phone. "Oh~" He hums, trying out somethin it seems like, as the toy buzzes in different patterns before it stills again. "Interesting.. That'll be fun in the future." He chuckles, before he leans over you, kissing you with playful intent.

You're not sure what he's up to when he pushes your legs back down to stretch out, running the smooth object between your legs to cover it in your slick. "You're always so worried you can't take it.." He teases, looking right at you before you notice him push the object inside-

the egg shaped vibrator slipping right in, almost suddenly, core taking it inside greedily- only the elongated part staying outside, something resting right on your clit. "Oh?" He jokes, brows raised. "Where'd it go?" He jokes, making you laugh now, entire nature of this whole scene awfully light in that moment, lifting your overall tenseness entirely at this point. And for a moment, all is fun and games-

until he leans back, sits down in the corner of the couch, finger on his phone suddenly doing something-

The toy inside you buzzing to live, and not on an easy setting, that's for sure. He's obviously amused by the way you squirm, hips jerking whenever you move in a way that forces the part resting against you to move. And he's having the time of his life, trying out different settings and rhythms while watching you suffer under his antics.

"You still need to learn." He chuckles, watching your legs jerk whenever the piece that's resting over your clit moves just slightly. "I don't have to touch you to gain my fill." He says, simply scanning your body with a warm, hooded gaze. "Hm? You've had such a smart mouth the entire day." He coos, almost feigning innocence as he looks at you racing towards your final high-

Generously turning down the intensity so that it's not that harsh.

You're slowly catching your breath, when his lips tilt upwards, and his finger taps around- buzzing intensifying again, catching you off guard, causing a yelp to escape you as your hips lift off the couch.

This is too much. Or not enough? You can't take this, there's something strange happening with your body as it moves without your permission, turning over into all fours, front laying down as your hands frantically touch the inside of your thighs.

And Jungkook relishes in the scene you present to him, because there's a reason your fingers hesitate to touch your core, and he knows it.

You can't take it out. Not physically- that you can, if you really wanted to- but mentally. You know he's put it there, and he's the one in control. This is your punishment, and in an odd moment of realization, you accept it, thighs trembling as your body reaches yet another, warmer orgasm that causes you to cry out, voice sounding foreign to your own ears as your hips jerk, your knees pressed into the leather below the only thing holding you upright-

Or maybe it's Jungkook, who's leaning over your back, arm keeping your front elevated as it rests against your collarbone.

When did he move?

When did he shed his top?

Your core feels empty, and your legs feel wet. Is ge not wearing pants anymore? You can feel something touch you, hot and heavy against your thigh, and it must be him.

You want him. Where'd that toy go that was inside you seconds ago?

You’re still breathing heavily, cheeks still wet from the tears you didn’t even realize had fallen from your eyes. Your lashes are still coated in them, wet and heavy, when Jungkook kisses your neck from behind you, a reminder that he’s still there.

Just like he always promises. He never let’s you feel lonely.

“That's it.” He praises. “Hold onto me like that. I’ll keep your body safe while you let go.” He chuckles, and only now do you notice the iron grip you have on his forearm over your chest, nails digging into his skin. You feel a bit bad for it.

Though you just lessen your strength a bit, not letting go.

Suddenly, his other arm moves, grabs something out of sight, before he runs the object through your slick-coated cunt and thighs, covering it in your arousal before it prods at your still clenching hole.

“You think I won’t fit?” He purrs against your neck, and you swallow thickly, a strange cocktail or anticipation and worry mixing in your body. “You think I won’t claim this cunt as mine at the end of this week?” He asks again, and you can feel the wave if cool excitement wash over you- starting at your very neck, before it ends in the tips of your toes.

“I’ll teach your body to take me..” He almost chuckles, pushing the very tip of the clear pink toy inside, before he moves it back out- Pushing it in a little further each time. “I’ll make sure to get you all ready for me..” he hums sensually, by now having learned of your little kinks you have, as the hand from his arm still keeping your upper body pressed against his own finds one of your tits, groping the soft flesh before his thumb flicks the sensitive bud once to see you squirm.

“I won’t let you forget any of this.” He threatens almost, and you whine when you feel him push the toy even further now.

You feel so full. How much more is there to go?

“Jung-” you whine pitifully, eyes closed as your hips can’t stay still, all of it a stark difference to the fast paced, almost aggressive orgasm he’s given you just moments prior. “I cant-” you start, and he laughs.

“Oh you can.” He tells you, before he gives the toy another push. “And you will.” He purrs, and its then that you feel the base of the toy against your lower lips.

You swear you can feel it in your stomach- and for some odd reason, you like it.

"You're made for me." He chuckles, kisses at your neck and cheek before he bites, toy leaving your cunt with only the tip before he moves it back in, feeling of a Rollercoaster ride making your insides jump and eyes roll back. You can't think anymore, you can only feel- and right now, you feel just so used in the best kind of way.

Somehow, he makes your worst nightmares come true- but they're not nightmares anymore, just dreams, vibrant and pleasant. Exciting. New.

It could be so easy to replace the toy with himself right now- but he doesn't, because that's one of his own rules he will never break. Your trust in him is precious, it's a gift- and he won't tarnish that by simply being greedy for more than you want to offer.

"Jung.." you huff, swallowing down saliva before you can say anything at all. "Jungkook-.. please-" you beg, unsure how to phrase it.

"What is it?" He asks, moves to nuzzle your neck so softly- a stark contract to his constant push and pull with the clear pink dildo he's using to give you a taste of his own length one day doing the same. Filling you up. Probably even better? You can imagine him all warm and slicked up from your wetness, stretching you open and making you feel so full you can hardly breathe.

"More.. f- faster-" you request. "Please?" You add on, and he chuckles.

"See?" His breath fans over your neck. "You can be such a good girl." He teases, pressing the replica as deep as it can reach inside you, base pushing against your skin. "Where were your manners today?" He wonders. "Will I always have to ruin this cunt to remind you where your place is?" He asks, and you nod, shamelessly so.

"Yes!" You whimper, mind somewhere else by now entirely as you struggle to keep yourself still. "Yes- I.. I forget-" you huff out, and he laughs as he runs his lips over your shoulder, piercing a distinct contrast to his softer lips.

"Then let me remind you, darling." He hums against your jot and sweating skin. "You're mine, in this moment. And I decide what to do with you... or to you." He tells you, and you nod, legs quivering.

Only for him to move the toy back to have it slip out, hole gaping at him, closing around nothing. The sigh is everything he ever needed or wanted- cunt all red and flushed, lower lips swollen and glistening, and he has to imagine his own seed staining your skin, mixing with your own arousal staining the couch and your legs.

His cock twitches at the sight, a drop of precum escaping him without control.

But what he does have control over is the rest of himself, as he pushes the toy back inside, causing your toes to curl, especially once he moves it in a faster, steadier pace. It short-circuits your brain, everything around you smelling of sex as he uses the replica to give you a taste of what he could give you.

Your arousal foams up around the base of the pink silicone, creating a ring of white as you cream up from his pace.

The orgasm you reach from this is different, as if it happens somewhere else in your body- though his hand is quick to flick your sensitive pearl to send you off with a proper goodbye, soil leaving your body as you quiver and lose all control one last time, body giving out as he lets you lay down now, muscles twitching from the overuse.

And it only takes him one good pump on his own cock to make him spurt his release onto your back, where his lips kiss up your spine in his post-orgasmic fever.

He's drunk off of you. He's never even had full on sec with you yet- and he's already addicted.

You've got no idea what you're doing to him.

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In the bathtub, his hand is a lot softer as it runs over your body, cleaning you and nurturing this blossoming feeling you're growing for him.

You're both back from your respective highs, world slowly bleeding back into reality as you simply exist in the warm water for now. "Was that alright?" He asks you, and you nod.

"It was.. new." You say, voice echoing in the bathroom, together with the sound of water sloshing everytime he moves. "I didn't think I'd enjoy what you did- but I did."

"How so?" He wonders, wanting to know hour thoughts now that your brain is functional again. Feedback is important now more than ever after all- he has to still figure out how to navigate this new experience with you.

"I thought.. it would feel, you know, degrading." You explain. "To be used." You clarify, and he nods, carefully moving your hair to see the side of your face better. "But it didn't. It felt more.. as if I was.. of service? Is that the right word?" You wonder, and he chuckles.

"Its how I feel in my position as well, you know." He answers. "Knowing that what I offer gives you pleasure.. is enough for me." He shrugs, and you stretch your legs, cramps finally letting up. "You looked so pretty.." he teases, and you whine.

"I was crying like a baby!" You argue, turning around a bit-

Though you're caught off guard by the terribly soft look he offers you, hand reaching out to hold your cheek.

"Thats because you are my baby." He says-

Making you cry once more.

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[syzthefrizz]

Tips for writing dream sequences (from someone who has really vivid, weird dreams on a frequent basis)

My biggest pet peeve with fictional dream sequences is that they make too much sense!! They're too relevant! There's not enough random crazy stuff! That's not always unrealistic per se, but you are missing out on some of the fun ways you can reveal information about your character's mindset, fears, struggles, and future.

Most of my dreams have a goal or objective driving the plot, and it's usually urgent. Ex. "escape the huge storm on the horizon", "find a place to sleep for the night in an unfamiliar town", "find a bathroom". This is especially true of stress dreams.

Everything going on in the dream makes perfect sense to you during the dream. It doesn't feel like reality per se, but you think it is. You're living in a house full of vampires that could eat you at any moment? Seems legit.

Emotions and situations from the dreamer's life can/will find their way into dreams, with varying levels of subtlety. The dream could be about the stressful event itself, or it could be some sort of exaggerated metaphor. Ex. I was worried about whether I was a competent CS major while I was still trying to find a summer job/internship, and I was worried about what my professors must think of me. Such a good student on paper, still without summer plans. I dreamed that I ran into my professors all having lunch together at a restaurant (during a dream with a completely different storyline), and I was wearing my pajamas. They judged me.

Certain things are very hard to do in dreams. This could vary from person to person. For me, it's always driving (the brakes never work right), flying (I can't stay off the ground for very long), and running (it's like trying to run through waist-deep water).

People with PTSD may dream about the traumatic event happening differently than it actually happened. (Take this one with a grain of salt - I don't suffer from PTSD, I just research it sometimes so my blorbos can suffer accurately).

You can have a string of loosely connected or disconnected dream sequences back to back, each with an entirely different plot, setting, etc.

People can have reoccurring themes or plotlines in their dreams, which are often connected to their lives/psyche somehow. I frequently dream about running away from tornadoes and being in situations where there's some catastrophe coming but I'm the only one who understands that there's a problem and nobody will listen to me.

It's common for me to have a dream setting that I KNOW is someplace I'm familiar with, but it doesn't actually look like that place at all. Ex. "I dreamed that we were at my house, but it didn't look like my house..."

Dreams can end in cliffhangers. Sometimes I wake up right before I'm about to eat something delicious.

Sometimes people have dreams about doing things that they would never, ever do in real life, and they wake up feeling disgusted. This is Not a manifestation of their secret desires (*glares at Freud*).

Images are the most memorable parts of dreams. I forget the specific plot points, but I can still picture dozens of liminal spaces my brain has created, even years after I dreamed about it.

Dreams will fade from memory very quickly unless the dream had a strong impression on you, you write details about it down or you tell someone about it before you forget.

If you realize you're dreaming during your dream, sometimes you can control the dream going forward. This is called lucid dreaming. I've done it accidentally a couple times, and it's really hard to "hold on" to the dream and control it. I usually wake up soon after starting. With practice, you can get better at it.

Sometimes a normal/good dream can turn into a nightmare, and vice versa. Most of my dreams aren't really good or bad, they're something in between.

Your subconscious brain is CRAZY intuitive. We can argue over the existence of prophetic dreams (I've heard so many crazy stories), but at the end of the day, your subconscious brain knows things that you don't consciously know. If your character is in love with someone, their subconscious brain will know even if the character doesn't. Relationship problems? Deepest darkest fears and insecurities? Your brain knows. A dream predicted the downfall of my first relationship eight months before it happened, down to the reason why we failed. You can absolutely foreshadow this way. A character might subconsciously know what the consequences of their or other people's actions will be, understand things about the situation they're in, know things about the people they're interacting with, and more, despite their conscious realizations.

There are plenty of ways to make a dream sequence relevant to your story, but don't forget to add in some fun, random details. Character A is secretly in love with Character B? Have Character A dream about Character B confessing feelings to them while in a Vine Nostalgia themed restaurant over a plate of mac-n-cheese. The details are the fun part, and you can get as weird as you want. I once ran into my aunt in a dream, and she was wearing a backpack with a bunch of (fake?) hands sticking out of it, making a fan that rose above her back behind her head like some sort of peacock feather costume piece. I was so freaked out that I woke up. I dare you to get weirder than that.

Not everyone's brain works the same way. I have vivid, random, detailed, memorable dreams on a frequent basis. When I describe them to people they often ask "what were you on?". My roommate only remembers her dreams when they're nightmares. I have some friends who say they don't dream. Other friends have really boring, mundane dreams about their normal lives. Some people have weird dreams but only once in a blue moon. It's a good idea to decide off the bat what kinds of dreams your character has, and how often they remember them.

That's it for now, but I might make a part two if I think of more things to add. Feel free to reblog with your own personal dream expertise!

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 8 part 5

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])

We're on to the new moon phase and Green Witch trial. On a side note, I finally found out why the order of the trials didn't make sense to me! Or rather, I found a reddit post explaining it because I'm not that smart on my own: the moon phases form a pentagram! How cool is that?

billy has learned that their green witch is none other than Death, so they wake up in a morgue. like alice said, the Road isn't subtle.

this trial is not for rio though - she was never part of the Road. there's nothing green here, the light is blue and pink and purple, like billy, jen and agatha. and how apt for billy to wake up in a body bag, considering he's a reanimated corpse.

agatha of course complains about what she's wearing

whenever agatha finds herself in a dicey situation she has to crack jokes and posture and look uncaring. billy and jen can express their genuine fear, agatha will swallow it down and beat it back with a stick and choke on it rather than showing an inch of vulnerability

technically they've been under her basement this whole time

I hope someone has compiled a list of all the Wizard of Oz quotes in this show, seriously there's so many

yes you are! this show keeps being so clever. out of death, life.

agatha you made a whole baby from scratch with rio, keep up! if you were any good at metaphors this trial would have been over already

the brooch is always her priority. I find it so interesting that it belonged to her mother too, it symbolizes both evanora and nicky, it's a generational (literally maiden mother crone) curse that she tried and failed to break and reclaim

jen checking if she has any healing water left. she doesn't, it would have been too easy.

this clown is so scared fr

aaand of course she starts tormenting people around her. her behavioral patterns are so predictable once you start noticing

you don't know how many times I facepalm watching and screencapping this show. all thanks to the stuff agatha says or does.

I didn't even try to save alice really gets me. she didn't. she stood by and watched as agatha killed her. she was too engulfed in her own self-preservation and her hatred.

alice's and lilia's examples have made an enormous difference.

agatha has never met a genuine honest emotion without wanting to bury it with sarcasm

they are all so fed up with her!

this is billy doing exactly what he's been doing in every trial: oversimplifying complex issues. alice needs to sing a song to solve her mommy issues! lilia can wear silly costumes and learn to accept her identity! agatha can just chat with nicky via ouija board, that'll solve that whole can of worms! and jen can totally get over the horrible abuse she's been trough if she believes in herself hard enough. the real magic was in you all along, jennifer!

billy's heart is absolutely in the right place, but he's been playing with people feelings and he has a lot to learn still.

jen very rightly points out that that would mean she wasted the last century. it's a matter of nuance, you know? billy still thinks of trauma as something that you can snap out of if you're strong enough, trivializing the actual time and willpower and work and pain it takes. jen did not waste a century, jen needed a century to come to terms with what happened. healing takes time and it's not straightforward. sometimes it's simply impossible.

and also, the implication that jen should just snap out of it and find her own strength completely erases what agatha and the doctor did to her, it places responsibility only on her shoulders. jen is a VICTIM. jen was violated. I'm glad the show negates billy's input and has jen confronting agatha head on.

why DOES agatha admit her guilt now? because she does it on purpose, mark my words, agatha has always ulterior motives. look how dramatic she's being about it! she's been pacing this place like a lion in a cage, trying to find a way out. like I said, she is predictable, she is doing exactly what she just did with billy on the Road: she throws a bomb and hope it'll get them unstuck.

and also, idk if agatha already knew she was the one who bound jen or if she just found out this moment, but I'll tell you what: she feels FUCKING GUILTY. we've been shown time and time again that agatha feels guilt for all the fucked up shit she did. as agnes she was genuinely distraught about wanda's death. hell, she doesn't want to face nicky because she can't justify what she did to him and to his memory.

agatha respects the shit out of jen, even if she'd swallow her tongue before admitting it. you know that guilt is eating her alive.

incredible work from sasheer here. it's rage, it's exasperation, it's disbelief, it's one hundred years of pain.

btw I'm still working on my essay about agatha and internalized misogyny. yes, it has turned into a full blown essay by now. I'm probably going to call it Agatha and the Patriarchy or something of the sort, because, like, look at this shit.

jen is wearing her heart on her sleeve right now, she's vomiting all of her emotions. agatha is deflecting and deflecting and deflecting. this is where we start, this unbalance between them. look at how the scene evolves.

jen initiates the unbinding ritual, and she knows it by heart. how many times has she pictured doing this to the person who bound her?

agatha tries to make it sexual, and look, let's not mince words. I keep saying violation, but there's a clear metaphor for rape here. that agatha would go there is nothing short of despicable.

agatha tries to look away. jen grabs her and makes her look.

agatha squirms. jen grows more and more emotional.

as jen goes through the ritual, agatha grows somber. she cannot escape anywhere, she cannot joke or deflect, jen has literally tied her up and forced her to look her in the eyes, witness her tragedy, face what she did.

on her tarot card agatha holds up her hands, like she's begging - for power, knowledge, love, forgiveness. she's always begging, always searching, always hungry. but everything she tries to hold she crushes. she holds nothing.

sasheer.

this is not jen finding magic inside herself, this is very clearly, very deliberately jen wrestling back her agency from agatha. you hold nothing, you are a pathetic, wretched little woman and I won't allow you to hold power over me any longer, you don't deserve it, you're not worth to take any more space in my existence.

and I love that she just leaves. she never comes back to bail agatha out of the trial, she's not asked to be the bigger person or to forgive and forget. alice forgave agatha, lilia did. jen doesn't, and she has every right not to.

I'm not going to attempt a discourse about race here, I'm white and I don't have the background, language or authority for it. I can only ask you to listen to what black women have to say and read articles and books on the subject (i recommend White Feminism by Koa Becks.) (also, do add to this conversation!) i'm just gonna say that if I could change one thing about the finale or the show in general, I'd give more breath and weight to jen's story - the way things were shaped, jen's trial was only minimally about her, and her big moment in the finale, while undoubtedly nice, is still too little too late compared to what alice and lilia had. at least she's still alive, so I guess there's still hope that the stars will align and we'll get some more consistent and fulfilling writing for her in the future.

I know this is first and foremost a show about agatha and, like the old tumblr wisdom says, if you try to tackle too many issues you'll just turn into glee. Still, jen's story deserved to be handled more carefully.

go to episode 8 part 6

[kingconia]

hello! can i ask for number 1 with leona? thanks 🫶🏾

1. ”I was never a morning person, but then I started waking up to your face and you know... Maybe mornings aren't that bad, after all.”

•

As a prince, Leona should have a strong sense of time, an ability to be always present, when it was required, and the motivation to move forward every single day. But as a lazy cat he truly was, he only wished to dream in peace most of the time, rarely willing to do anything else.

Waking him up was always a hard, impossible even, task. Especially, if it was mornings, when sun only peeked shyly behind the horizont, and air still was chilly, making his comfortable bed even more comfortable.

”You can't want me to wake up in the early mornings for these meetings without having a good reason for it. I don't fucking believe that someone genuinely wants to raise at the same time as birds start whining outside the window,” Leona told his brother once, glaring at him while fighting with yawn.

Farena only smiled.

”I don't know. It is my wife's presence by my side that flame my desire to wake up daily, to witness the—”

”Ugh, shut up.”

Nevertheless, no one dared to annoy Leona with the same topic, when his foot stepped in the NRC. Ruggie did, sometimes, but it was rather fruitless attempts. If Leona wished to participate in something, he would do it himself. Otherwise, nothing and no one could change his rest schedule.

Well, at least, he thought so.

Leona woke up from a slight, very familiar sensation of preparedness. His tail was twitching lazily against silk sheets, while blurry eyes glanced at the window, in the weak attempt to indicate what time it was.

A very early morning.

Leona knew what was the reason of his sudden awakening. Around this time—in five minutes or more—a bell alarm on herbivore's phone will start to ring, trying to wake you up for lessons. And, of course, he couldn't allow that. Just as usual, he was planning to turn it off beforehand, and return to his sleep.

If you want to be present on all lessons, it is your wish, of course. But it didn't mean Leona should agree with that.

With that, Leona faced you, and quietly, careful not to wake you up, stretched his arm to your night-time table, finding your phone quickly.

Your password wasn't by any means hard to crack—well, since you told it to Leona willingly—so he shamelessly unblocked it. Ignoring many unread messages from your classmates, he turned the alarm off, and smiled victoriously.

No morning lessons under his roof.

But suddenly his attempts to return to his original place failed, as you caught him by his arm.

At first, he assumed that you merely woke up, but when you pushed him closer, fingers curling around his biceps, muttering something under your breath, Leona realised that you were still sleeping.

He sighed. In the first time in two months that you shared a bed, he looked at your face under the early morning rays. And as he did, his breathing hitched.

You looked so... Tender. With your usually prefect hair messed up, eyelashes slightly flattering, and lips slightly parted for quiet breaths to leave your mouth, you looked... Contained.

And if you couldn't get cuter, you pressed your cheek to his hot skin, rubbing against it as a cat, even purring shortly.

Leona felt blood raising to his cheeks. Why did he never noticed it before? How the one could be so blind?

Not willing to bother you, Leona slowly laid back on his pillow, scoping you closer. His free hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

You groaned, stirring in your sleep as if trying to wake up.

”Sleep, herbivore,” he whispered tensely, and his lips brushed your forehead in a slight panic. ”I am here."

To his luck, you only hummed, continuing your rest.

Leona allowed himself to smile. Why to sleep now, if he had you to look at?

Perhaps, he could understand his brother now...

•

Something was uncharacteristically wrong with Leona Kingscholar, and it was something everyone could tell, starting with you, and finishing with students from Diasomnia.

He started to visit lessons. Even worse, he was present in the morning classes, too.

Shocking. Absolutely shocking.

What could happen so Leona suddenly became so responsible and so eager to participate in classes?

You had no answer for that. But suddenly Leona took a habit of waking up earlier than you, easily agreeing to study with others.

You were speechless. And scared! What if something was wrong with him?

So, you even annoyed Rook with many questions about a nature of lions and their sleep schedule—what? You heard once, that some animals start to sleep worse before their death—but conversation with him ended up being a mess, leaving you with a more questions.

Then, it was time to talk with Leona yourself.

”Are you okay?” You blurted out, all carefully prepared speeches dissolving.

You were in his room, in the deep evening. At this time you started to read together, a few blissful hours of resting, before going to bed.

”Well,” Leona plopped on the edge of his bed, ”the meat in the cafeteria was a pure shit today, but—”

”No, Leona,” you sighed. Stopping in front of him, you tried again. ”Perhaps, something troubles your mind?”

”No?” He frowned. ”Why the fuck would you think that?”

You tried to came up with a delicate answer, but gave up eventually. It was Leona anyway. No need to be overly graceful around him.

”Because a last few weeks your sleeping hours decreased!” You let out a long-drawn sigh. ”Of course, I am super excited about you studying more, don't get me wrong. But it is just... Ugh. When I open my eyes in the morning, you are already awake. So I am asking if you have problems with sleeping. I don't know, maybe nightmares bother you, or your brother—”

Your speech was cut by a sound of loud, thundering laugh. Leona was suddenly quite entertained by your entire monologue as he wheezed, shoulders shaking.

”Herbivore,” he bared his fangs in a smirk, "have someone told you that you are funny?”

”Shut up,” you hissed, annoyed by such reaction.

Before anything else happened, Leona hugged you. His arms wrapped around your curves, and he slowly pulled you closer, between his partied legs. You didn't protest, and so he nuzzled in your stomach, making your irritation shift to a pure adore.

”Yeah, I never was a morning person, but...” His words came out muffled, but you listened to it with a special attention, while your hands smoothed his unruly hair. ”But then, I started waking up to your face.”

You froze as you was expecting everything but this.

”Huh?”

Could Leona really woke up so eagerly simply to... Stare at your face?

”So, I guess, mornings aren't that bad, after all,” He admitted quietly.

You felt the corners of your lips tugging in a wide smile. That was so... So sweet! Leona truly was the gentlest man you had ever know!

”Shut up,” he groaned, clearly embarrassed by his own words.

”I didn't say anything, love,” you laughed, pressing him even closer.

”Yeah, no shit,” he sighed. ”You are literally buzzing with excitement, herbivore.”

Perhaps, you did. But you couldn't help yourself. You start to smooch the top of his head vigorously, and Leona huffed, relaxing in your arms. His tail wrapped around your legs protectively, making you smile even more.

Ah... And what was love if not a lazy cat that was willing to wake up for you every morning, huh?

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to @cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems 

Part 4

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: sexual language, angst, past relationship trauma, touching in a sexual way, commitment issues, mentions of sex, trust issues, neteyam is head over heels for reader, fluff, a bit more about when neteyam and reader would see each other around before the beach party, mentions of drinking too much, reader is allergic to romantic feelings (but it's actually just her trauma talking), confessions of feelings, yearning, sexual tension, some funny vibes, heartbroken neteyam. Not sure if there's more. If there is, pls, tell me <3

Hi, hunny bunnies 💕 I'm really tired and sleepy rn (as I always am, right? lol) but I got inspo and finally got a break from my writer's block so I just rushed to wash the dishes as fast as I could and as soon as I finished it I ran to finish writing this chapter (a part of it had been sitting on my Google Docs for a while lol) and now I'm posting for you guys 🥰 Hope y'all like it and I'm so sorry for any mistakes or some parts that might not make total sense (if there are any lol who knows). I'm so sleepy that idk if I'll be able to proofread it completely now. But I will soon! Leaving comments down below will make this writer as happy as a kitten drinking milk teehee 😸 I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH kiss kiss ‼️💌

Slightly proofread.

Part 3: I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

𓇼

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

Midnight Rain (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

You woke up with a ray of sun shining way too bright directly at your eyes. You realized with a startle that you were in Neteyam’s arms and as you slowly became aware of your surroundings and your memory became clear… oh, shit… You had sex with him last night. No, no! Why did you drink those three glasses of champagne last night? Everytime you drank too much you ended up doing something stupid. Of course last night would not be an exception.

You could feel his slender, soft but toned legs intertwining with your much smaller ones. You felt his warmth, his strong arms holding your tiny in comparison figure, helping you stay warm even if the ocean breeze was chilly so early in the morning in Awa'atlu.

Neteyam's heart was big, very big when compared to the one of a human male, so, as he peacefully slept while embracing you, you could hear his heartbeat extremely clearly. It was soothing, though. A little louder than the human guys you had been intimate with previously and had slept by their side but it was calming. His embrace felt comfortable, like a place you could… call home…?

You felt a stab in your heart. Anxiety. Nervousness. Almost like a fight or flight feeling. No, you could not be getting attached.

His scent was good, cozy and you could easily get used to having it all over you, to wake up to that, to smell it on your clothes so very often.

And that thought scared you. Saying you had commitment issues was an understatement.

You felt Neteyam moving behind you. He was slowly waking up.

"Morning, oeyä sevin syulang" (my beautiful flower) His voice was hoarse as he had just woken up and he had a heavy na'vi accent when pronouncing the "R" in "morning". His accent lured you in way more than you liked to admit. 

You hated how much Neteyam could make you feel vulnerable. You did not like the feeling of vulnerability.

Everytime you let a guy get on your vulnerable side before, you ended up sobbing while sitting on the floor, listening to a stupid, sad break up song and, sometimes, stuffing your stomach with chocolate, ice cream or pizza. And that was when you were able to eat. Sometimes the lump in your throat was so big you couldn't even swallow without being reminded of the pungent ache in your heart.

"Morning." You said nervously. It sounded dry. You did not mean to sound rude or distant but you ended up sounding exactly like that.

“Did you sleep well, tawtute?” Neteyam asked, his eyes still half lidded and he was smiling tenderly at you

Damn, you had to admit he was freaking cute when all sleepy like this. Just like a house cat waking up from a good deep sleep…

Ok, stop it!

“Uh… yes. Yes, I did sleep well. Thank you.” God, how awkward was that?

It seemed like Neteyam was too mesmerized by you to even notice your awkwardness.

“You’re beautiful. My sevin tawtute.” he said

“Wait, what?! Yours?!” you protested, a frown on your face

“Yeah.” Neteyam smiled, a bit sheepishly “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” his expression looked like he was being sincere

“It’s okay.” it was all you said

“I wanna tell you something.” Neteyam said, smiling softly though he was afraid of your reaction once he said what he wanted to say

“What in hell could he want to tell me? Oh, God…” you thought

“I…” he hesitated for a while. Was he getting shy? “I’m in love with you, (y/n).”

“You’re what?!” You sat up on the hammock in a swift motion

“See?! I should have never come here to meet him in the first place. That’s what you get for following your instincts and not your rational brain.” those words ran through your anxious mind

“Hey.” Neteyam said as he sat up too, trying to calm you down as you truly seemed alarmed. He smiled but you could tell there was tension all over him too. “Hear me out, please.” He pleaded. His tone was as calm as he could manage to keep it. “I just didn’t want to tell you because I could tell you’re afraid of falling in love. I’ve heard you talking to your girl friends about boys, about your lame ex boyfriends and how they made you want nothing to do with relationships anymore.”

“Were you spying on me?” You said, incredulous

“No, tawtute!” Neteyam chuckled at your accusation “It’s not like we’ve never been close to each other before the party. I know you’ve seen me before when you came to my tribe to conduct your scientific researches. I always made an effort to be around you, I just never approached you but I never tried to hide the fact that I had a crush on you. I was always staring at you. And I know you noticed!” He chuckled “One time you caught me staring from afar and met my gaze but you soon looked away and after that I started feeling like you were avoiding looking in my eyes again. Was I right?” he questioned, with his brows furrowed but he still didn’t seem to feel defeated. Even after you had reacted like you were afraid of his words, Neteyam still had his lips curled up in a slight smile.

You looked at him with eyes that let him know you were trying to conceal your embarrassment. You did know Neteyam had noticed you had been trying to avoid him at all costs as soon as you noticed he seemed to be attracted to you but having him throw that fact in your face felt surprisingly uncomfortable and your cheeks did get a little pinkish.

“Maybe I was.”

“Of course you were. Everybody noticed. Lo’ak even made fun of me for that.” he shook his head from side to side while chuckling at the thought of his younger brother teasing him

"I'm sorry." You couldn't help but laugh a little bit

"Don't apologize. It's fine. I like a challenge." He smirked at you in a flirtatious way

"Neteyam, I think we should-"

"Just let me tell you everything I need to, please!" He interrupted, almost begging you

You sighed "Okay…" You sounded tired and a little annoyed

"After I got a good chance to talk to you last night, at the party, I fell for you. Hard. It's not just a crush anymore." His pretty face looked happy while he confessed his feelings for you, even if there was a little bit of angst inside his chest "I didn't bring you here to my hammock just to fuck you. I brought you here to make love to you. It wasn't just sex for me. I wanna ask you to be my mate. I hope you don't run away scared now… 'Cause that would kill me, my sevin tawtute. You're so perfect... I wanted you last night and I know I will want you forever. Please, please, let me be your mate. Or your husband, as you humans say. I know it's unexpected and it seems too soon, but this is our way. My people don't necessarily have to know someone for a long time before choosing them to be their mate." He explained to you "I don't want to ever be away from you. I couldn't. Not now that I have talked to you, laughed with you, laid next to you…" He brushed his warm hand through the outer part of your thigh, moving it upwards "Felt your pussy around my cock, so soft and inviting, so warm and wet inside, all for me..." Neteyam's breath was a bit labored, his hand still touching your skin, while he whispered those dirty words to you, remembering what you two had done while it was still eclipse "Please, be mine." 

"It'd be great." You said. Neteyam smiled widely, not being able to grasp the real meaning of your words "But it could never work. Not between you and me. Not between a na'vi and a human. I'm so sorry. I have to go. My friends must be worried about me. I didn't tell Adeline where I was going before I left last night. She must be worried sick. See you around. I guess..." You said, as you got out of Neteyam's big hammock, as fast as you could, feeling the warm beach sand covering your toes as soon as your feet hit the ground, leaving Neteyam confused, still trying to wake up from his wishes and touch reality.

He knew you were afraid of committing to a lifelong relationship but he thought that maybe you would say "yes" to what he was proposing to you. Or that you would at least ask for some time to think. Neteyam did not think you would reject him so fast and bluntly like that. Especially since he was used to having girls crushing on him and throwing themselves at him all the time. Not only na'vi girls, there were many human girls who tried to seduce him as well but even though he did feel attracted to some of them, he felt that there was always something missing. Neteyam did value personality a lot, even if he was just going to mess around with the girl, and none of the other human girls had a personality that he truly liked. But you did. And of course you would be the one to reject him. His ego was screaming like a spoiled little brat at that moment as he laid back at his hammock, throwing his body with full force against its surface and exhaling strongly in frustration.

There was a lump in his throat and his heart was hurting like never before. No girl had ever made Neteyam feel that way. All he wanted was for you to accept him, to want to be with him.

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003 (you left a cute comment on the last chapter so I figured you'd like to be tagged ♡ lemme know if I'm right in the comments pls lol)

@lala-1516 (you also left a nice comment on the last chapter so I'm tagging you baby <3 lemme know if u want me to keep tagging u)

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

[sonofhelios2005]

Dead Boy Detectives AU, Cambion Charles. In this AU, Charles is half demon. Charles demonic parent is one of the demons who embody or are associated with Wrath, such as Andras, Aamon, and Aeshma, one of these possessed Charles dad before his birth. As to why a demon would sire a Cambion? Having a loyal demonic being on Earth to cause chaos and pain in their name, help condemn humans to hell and generally be an inconvenience.

As no two demons look similar, no two Cambion are identical. Some look entirely human whilst others are monstrous. Some are powerful magic users like Merlin, and others are predators who prey on humanity. Cambion are generally evil thanks to their demonic heritage, but certain Cambion can fight this part of themselves and are as normal as any human.

Charles is lucky for a Cambion as he was born looking entirely human however as he got older he discovered the more demonic part of himself, by his teenage years he was able to turn into a monstrous demonic form at will, although he never does this willingly unless he loses control of his emotions. He keeps a strong grip on any negative emotions as his demonic half is very prone towards violence, and because of this, he strives to be happy. Even when he looks human, certain things can give Charles away as inhuman. He is uncomfortable around religious iconography, and they will respond to his presence. His reflection can some show his inhuman side. Psychics are very sensitive to his presence.

Charles is incredibly strong and resilient and has nearly limitless endurance. He can wield fire and teleport in a flash of hell fire. Charles can grow stronger by feeding on negative, violent emotions, and if he wants, can sense an influence them to be on humans. He is immortal, and even if he's killed, he will simply end up in hell. He takes on his demonic form in hell. He is very capable of demonic magic but doesn't really have the patients for it besides the occasional spell and rune. He doesn't sleep and is unable to dream. He possesses the standard demonic weaknesses. However, he can't be exorcised, although they cause him immense pain.

Charles dad figured out something was wrong with Charles when he was a child thanks to some unnatural incidents, thinking him a monster he hurts him with crosses and by reciting passages from the bible, on some awful occasions he whipped Charles with cold iron. Over the years, Charles grew resistant to this, and after he throws his dad across a room, he is sent away to St. Hilarion's. At St. Hilarion Charles is able to make friends and have a somewhat normal time without anyone suspecting anything about him. Despite this, he still feels alone.

Charles doesn't sleep. However, he can astral project which he does sometimes and explorers as a spirit. During one of these times, his spirit is grabbed and taken to hell by his demonic parent, who Charles has only met on a few rare occasions. Whilst in hell Charles is forced to participate in the torment of souls in the Circle of Wrath, time passes differently in hell so while Charles body is seemingly comatose for a month on Earth he spent a decade in hell. After 10 years, Charles meets another boy, Edwin. Edwin is trying to escape, and after they both explain their situations, they agree to help each other. Charles holds off the demon spider whilst Edwin escapes. On Earth, Edwin is able to wake Charles and bring his spirit back to his body.

On Earth, Edwin to Charles delight is entirely unconcerned by Charles being a Cambion, allowing Charles to be himself for the first time. Edwin is not a normal ghost his soul forged in hell by decades of torment is incredibly strong and can use magic on a scale beyond any other ghost. He can draw power from hell and, if essential, a Ghost Sorcerer. Charles and Edwin began exploring the supernatural world together and soon became detectives who specialised in hell related issues.

My god, I can ramble about stuff. This won't be a story it's just my mad rambling that has gotten seriously out of hand.

[silverheartlugia2000]

DCXDP prompt

Ok, so there's plenty of Danny laying low or freaking out about the no meta rule, but I have this CRAVING of someone for once just explaining it to him? Like whoever bird or birds he's talking to just leans in and whispers "Wanna know a secret? That's mostly just a mind control precaution. I mean would you want to see Supes jacked up on fear gas? If the league do come over he prefers to be called first so he's close if something happens."   

Danny- "Oh... yeah that makes sense actually, that shit isn't fun to be under.."

"Wait is THAT why you have that string of robberies on your record?!"

"That and the time my whole town got possessed in order to make me look bad and get arrested.."

The bird then drags Danny into the cave to open Bruce's file on him, and they both sit down and fill in the gaps on the shadier spots of his record. Heck Danny eventually gives Bats a few thermoses and other less harmful but still disabling device blueprints to add to the contingency file cause even if Dan is in therapy and on probation he knows his shit luck will probably make it needed sooner rather than later and he knows how fast it will go bad.

It comes in very handy at the next gala when Vlad attempts to have a duplicate overshadow Bruce who refuses to take his business propositions. Vlad gets nosey before Danny pulls up his king rights and makes vlad take an Oath (the magic binding kind) to not mess with Bruce or his family or reveal any of their super identities to anyone at all. Constantine is there beforehand to read over the contract and outthink any loopholes before vlad can take advantage of them.

Danny gives them samples of ecto-dejecto for medical emergencies, the Bat's keep them refreshed and in stock especally after they meet Ellie and hear about her stability problems. With help from Frostbite and Danny's ok they start working on a more reliable formula just for Ellie's sake.

Yes Jason is calmer around the halfas and he is slowly stabilizing enough form a proper core from it, (not an instant fix this time!) whether hes becoming a true halfa, more towards a remnant, or both they arent sure. But one night when the phantoms arent around Jason is having a bad time, reacting from something he was hit with during a fight. Tim just grabs one of the ecto-pens on a whim and it just flushes out the toxin so fast Jay passes out. When he wakes up his core has had a good growth spurt, its still not complete yet but he's beginning to get some minor abilities, the Phantom sibs start coaching him before it gets strong enough for Jason to turn completely intangible and if Jay starts complaining? Clockwork whisks them ALL up to the tower for a home movie night of Danny's greatest fails. Grampa has a collection, good and bad XD. Yes Danny is cringing in shame while eating Clockwork's ecto cookies but Jason is slowly starting to understand the importance of getting the basics right cause he does NOT want to accidentally sink completely under the ground without being able to get back out no thank you!!

What core type would he get anyway? Shadow's like Johnny because of the stealth perks? Earth to prevent being buried again? Would he have literature as a secondary obsession cause obviously he's gonna follow Danny into the family/protection category but since Danny also has a space obsession why not?

He puts Jazz's name in the list of superhero safe therapists, the fact she's already making waves at Arkam is only boosting her reputation. Especially once they read her paper on ghost obsessions and how sometimes they are comparable to hyper-fixations in autistics in the way they both satisfy and promote healthy growth for a ghosts physical and mental state but also how being deprived of them or forced to go against them can be severely harmful to their literal health.

And that was one thing the birds kept tripping on to understand whenever they needed to bench one of the halfas but they would end up just hovering around NEEDING to be helpful no mater how much they are told to go back to bed. They also get a whole new understanding on what happened to Dan cause yeah his whole timeline is based on loosing his family and retaliating out of grief.

So from then on the halfas are allowed to help with little tasks as long as they do not strain their recovery at all. Whenever Danny gets sickly and depressed they take him up to the watch tower, Ellie gets lessons in different languages so she can interact more when they let her join them on international trips, Jason gets set loose in a newly discovered bookstore when the manor's or Bab's library isn't enough, and Dan.. they're still figuring him out but he seems to enjoy wrecking little play city set ups and games where you play as the monster like Godzilla or Rampage along with general ghost sibling rough housing. (Lilo and Stitch is his favorite movie but you'd be hard pressed to get him to admit it,)

As for ships, definitely anger management. Jason becomes an unofficial fourth Phantom sib. Platonic everlasting trio cause Danny loves his friends and they will pet him like a cat for hours while his tail coils around them possessively like a giant snake and still make memes of it when he's grumpy. Brain dead is fun also, especially if Danny or the others are capable of Little Baby Man form and Tim has to fight Damian for cuddle rights! Bats has his usual girls but hey superman isn't that bad to hang around either.

[binsito]

husk

pairing: kwak jiseok (gaon) x fem reader

genre: angst, breakup sex

word count: 1.8k

rating: mature, includes: unprotected sex, oral ( m & f receiving), slight cum eating, creampie, handjob, mentions of cockwarming, swearing, slight drooling kink

note - did not proofread so i'm sorry if there's any mistakes!!

things just weren't the same anymore between you and jiseok

something had changed for the worse.

that once, strong passionate love you two had for one another had dwindled down to virtually nothing.

both of you going through the motions of a relationship without a sense of direction.

it hurt.

no matter how hard the two of you tried to fix things, it was pointless picking up the pieces. the spark was gone and you were both watching either fade away.

jiseok wanted you to be the one, he wanted to be with you for as long as he could, but now whenever he embraced you, it felt like he was cradling a husk of what once was.

an illusion.

it pained him to come to the conclusion that you were both better off letting each other go. how could he break the routine of waking up next to you and spending time with you every single day? for two years he had gotten to know every inch of you, memorized even the silliest things about you. how was he supposed to move on and come to terms that the love was no longer there?

“jiseok-“

“i know what you’re going to say.. please just save yourself the trouble..”

dinner had been incredibly tense today. he knew today was finally the day this was going to be brought up. he knew this was finally the moment these past few months had built up towards

“jiseok.. i-i’m sorry.. i just can’t keep stringing us along. you feel it too don’t you?.. i love you jiseok but..”

“but it’s time to let go isn’t it?..”

you nod sadly, gaze dropping to your lap. there was no easy way of putting this.

jiseok was your first love and it was hard letting someone you cared so deeply about go but it would be selfish if you kept him to yourself.

you could see he was fighting back the urge to burst into tears so you reached a hand out to grab his hand gently.

“c-can i just have.. one last time with you?” he says, he was almost embarrassed to ask the question “i know i-it’s a-a little greedy of me to ask something like that at this moment but i-i just need it.. like closure..”

you understood where he was coming from. jiseok was a very loving partner, his love language had always been touch. you knew he needed physical attention no matter the circumstance. this was going to be the final time you’d spend time with him so you nodded. you didn’t want things to end on a bad note, you also wanted to feel him close one last time before you left. he was comforting and throughout your relationship you always found yourself seeking his soft touch. 

there was no easy transition to this - it was awkward, lacking fervor. jiseok was kissing you gently, trying not to overwhelm you or make you feel bad. you squeezed his hand reassuringly, not wanting him to get consumed by guilt. none of this was anyone’s fault. it was something that happened naturally over time. sometimes things just don’t work out and jiseok knew that but that didn’t take away the hurt stinging at his heart.

you unbuttoned his shirt delicately, grazing your fingertips against his chest, avoiding eye contact because it just made everything feel so much worse. his eyes were sad and that was one thing that didn’t look good on him.

sadness.

heartbreak.

you hated the mere sight of it on jiseok’s face. it was moments like this where you wanted to take back all your words along with him, to give things another try, but you knew it would only make things worse.

kissing down his jaw, slowly working your way down his neck as you unzipped his pants and let them drop. the pads of your fingers pressing against his crotch gently before you snuck your hand inside, pumping him slowly.

he wanted to memorize the feeling of your touch on his skin, engrave it deep into his mind and treasure it. he never wanted to forget how plush your lips were, especially when they were wrapped around his cock. how he adored whenever you’d go down on him, especially on tough days where he just wanted to rip his hair out due to work stress.

soon enough you had removed his boxers and gotten down on your knees for him, licking him from base to tip. giving him a squeeze before you took him in your mouth, lapping at his head and savoring him. he sighed out and closed his eyes at the sensation, you had learned exactly what he liked and what to do to make his lose his mind. you sighed out softly at his taste, using one hand to stroke his cock while your mouth sloppily worked on him, peppering kisses on his underside and running your tongue along one of his prominent veins. 

he gripped your hair tightly, guiding you up and down his cock and encouraging you to take some more. he was alway a patient lover, letting you work your way up to taking him fully - whether it be in your mouth or in your cunt. he preferred it that way anyways, warming you up, stretching you out good, it dragged out the sex and one thing about jiseok is that he loved having sex with you for as long as he could. you slowly inched yourself down his shaft, humming softly and hollowing your cheeks. your nose pressed up against his pubic bone. his head kicked back as he frantically tried to hold off on his orgasm.

with a pop of your mouth, you pulled off his cock and stood up, discarding your bottoms. jiseok grabbed your wrist and turned you around, pressing you into the mattress. your ass coming in contact with his erection. he normally preferred missionary so this took you by surprise.

he rubbed his cock against your supple cheeks and groaned softly, reaching beneath you to rub your clit and give it a few pinches which earned him some mewls from you.

he spread your ass with one hand and massaged it gently, he’d miss this pretty sight - your perky ass, oh how making you ride him in reverse just so he could watch it bounce. 

he spat on his cock and rubbed the head against your cunt’s entrance, poking the tip at it and then using it to apply pressure to your clit. he liked making sure you were always wet enough to take him. taking his sweet time with foreplay, even if it meant he’d have to use his fingers or go down on you for hours. 

you let him savor the moment, feeling the friction of his cockhead as it dragged against your cunt. you let out a soft moan at the feeling, being cut short as he pressed his tip inside of you, your breath hitching. he loved that habit of yours whenever he would first push in, almost as if your mind clouded and all you could think of was how his cock was pressing into you.

he dragged his hands up to your waist and held you firmly, making sure your back was arched at the right angle for him before sheathing himself in you, feeling as your walls wrapped around him and clenched. he would miss the warmth between your legs.. often begging you to cockwarm him because he loved how warm and close you felt. 

he let out a soft sigh as he began to rock his hips into you, trying to keep his composure and just live in the moment, he would deal with his heartache later.

he dug his nails into your skin, his eyebrows crinkling in concentration, watching as his cock disappeared within you. at first his thrusts were calculated and sharp, but soon he felt himself become erratic. he began getting into his own head, groaning as he landed a slap to your right asscheek.

you yelped and felt your legs shake, gripping the sheets tightly as he continued to move inside of you.

“n-no one is ever gonna fuck you like i do..” he mumbled under his breath

“no one i-is ever- fuck.. g-going to ruin your pussy like i do..”

and part of you knew he was completely right.

he threw all his inhibitions aside and pumped himself into you vigorously, watching as your body skipped against the mattress, his thighs smacking against yours. both of you throwing out curses and moans and wishing this didn’t have to end.

he instructed you to touch yourself while he thrusted, you did just as he asked and rubbed your clit, your legs almost buckling at how good it all felt. he always managed to make you see stars whenever you two got intimate.

“g-gonna fill you..” he almost whines

“gonna fill you so good.. you’re never gonna want anyone else..” he smacks your ass again with another grunt. he wanted you to never forget this night, to always have the taste of him lingering on your lips.

he stilled his hips and with a shaky moan, he came deep inside of you, making sure you took every last drop. you shut your eyes tightly and breathed out as you felt him cum, your body buzzing with pleasure. he pulled out and quickly got down beneath you, lapping at your puffy cunt and sucking on you gently to help you reach your orgasm. he didn’t care if his cum was seeping out, he was more worried about making sure you’d cream on his tongue. he was making a mess and smearing his spit all over your pussy, drool dribbling down his chin as he took your clit between his teeth and sucked.

you turned your head to look down at him, watching as he held you open and let muffled moans vibrate against your cunt. with one final flick of his tongue, he pulled an orgasm from you that ripped through your whole body, causing him to have to hold you up for stability. you came with his name on your mouth as he pulled away to wipe his lips. you were both coming down from a frenzy and attempting to collect your breath and thoughts.

you crawled into bed together, him opening his arms to keep you close to his chest. you snuggled up against him and held him tightly as you dozed off. everything almost felt normal, the sex was perfect and jiseok had you in his arms. maybe things would be okay. maybe things would somehow work out and you two could try to mend things.

always full of maybes

but those maybes always ended up being futile.

he woke up the next morning and you were gone. his bed empty but your sweet smell still embedded into his sheets.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[bijoutarot]

Why They Can’t Leave You?

Pick An Image

Image 1

If your person leaves this connection they will lose it all. With you they have a sense of family. They feel nurtured, loved, and cared for with you and they are afraid to lose that. You give this person so much confidence. You always motivate them to go after their goals and that makes them feel so strong and attractive. You look at this person with wanting, loving eyes and this melts their heart. They always return to you despite their wandering eye. This frustrates you because you give them the world. If you walk away they will lose A LOT of money. You are established in your career with plenty of money. You show affection by giving gifts and paying for things. You make your partner feel like royalty. You cater to their needs and wants without question sometimes it is at your own expense. Sometimes you take away from yourself to make them happy. If they leave you they know they will not find the same love elsewhere.

Image 2

The reason why your person can’t walk away from you is because they know you are marriage material. They know you are their person. The one they want to wake up to. The person they want to spend their life with. This person has put you through hell and back. They believe that to love means to endure. They tested you throughout the length of this connection. They believe whoever wants to be with them has to prove they are the one. You hide this from your friends whenever they ask you how are things are between you. Your person admires your strength but they are still skeptical. You are their person but they are not ready. People around you have been celebrating lately. There are a lot of drinks flowing. Your friends are encouraging to go out on a date with someone new. It is time to recognize your value.

Image 3

Recently a big truth has rocked the foundation of this connection. In this image your person has no control over ending this relationship. They are desperately trying not to lose you. This truth has turned you off completely from ever taking them seriously. You have not fully walked away as yet and are abstaining from any intimacy with this person. For some of you, you will soon find out that this person is still legally married. You will begin to wonder why they approached you to begin with? Your person has been dishonest and this is causing you to change the way you look at them. The trust is gone. This person cannot walk away from you because of how loving you are. You give them the love they are not receiving in their dying relationship. They have been with this person for a long time so it is now at a point where they are staying together for convenience. This person is very selfish.

Image 4

Your person cannot walk away from you because they cannot get you off their mind. For some of you this began in the workplace. You two were assigned to work on something together and hit it off. You two share that hustler mindset. The spark is there between you two business and emotionally. I see you two potentially going on trips together in the near future. For some of you this romance is a secret in the workplace. Hooking up together after work has started to become your favorite thing to do now instead of happy hour with friends. They do not want to walk away because they are thinking about the future. They envision you as a business partner who they can build an empire with. They see you two as a power couple. You two are equally yolked which is rare. They like that you are just as busy as them. In the past this person dealt with partners who were unhappy with how busy they are because of work. With you they never have to hear, “you work too much.” With you they get a different level of understanding. They respect you more than any other partner they had in the past. They admire how sharp and intelligent you are. You are quick on your feet and catch all of their witty jokes. This connection is not something they are willing to lose right now.

[andreafmn]

In the Heat of the Moment | Part 4

Word Count: 4.8K

Pairing: Jake Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader, mentioned Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Story Description: Every month female Omatikayans go through their heat whilst men go through their rut. It’s a time for mates to engage in the most animalistic desires. But when one of the two is gone, it can be a rather painstaking endeavor. With Neteyam gone on a hunting trip, (Y/N) has to go through her heat alone for the first time. Or does she?

Warnings: SMUT (+18, minors DNI), infidelity, p in v sex, oral sex (fem and male receiving), rough sex

A/N: Another part is out and we're getting closer to the end! Let me know what your theories are for how all this mess will end up like. I love the drama 🫣 Also, sorry for the very late night post My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing🥺👉👈. Hope you enjoy, and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Dedicated to @jake-sullys-whore! For following the story since the beginning and showing it love 💖💖

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If you’d like to be tagged in any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post!

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In the Heat of the Moment | Part 4

Waking with a heavy heart had become easier for (Y/N). The warmth that enveloped her eased her enough into a false sense of security. Strong arms wrapped around her body, the sound of his heartbeat keeping her in a calm slumber, and the heat from his body comforting her in the coldness of daybreak. The pleasant feeling pushed away any thought of Neteyam from her mind. 

And the warmth was accompanied by a fullness that took her breath away. They had fallen asleep with Jake still buried deep inside her. As her mind woke, she groaned at the feeling of her cock growing hard inside of her wetness. It stretched her walls, burning its way through until he reached his fullness. 

Instinctively, (Y/N) started rolling her hips. Her body needed the friction, chasing the sweet release of pleasure, even if it was with her father-in-law. With her eyes still shut with sleep, moans started spilling from her mouth as her body rocked against Jake’s member. Her body moved without much input from her brain. 

“Well, that’s one way to start the morning,” Jake croaked against her ear, his voice still deep from waking. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she groaned. “I just couldn’t, mm, help myself.” 

“I’ll take this over any other wake-up call,” he chuckled before letting out a moan of his own. “So, don’t you dare stop. Take from me whatever you need, baby girl.” 

His hands gripped her hips, pushing her body to meet his deep thrusts as he pushed his hips into her. With his mind fully awake now, Jake enjoyed waking to her body pressed against him, her warmth engulfing his length, and the moans that made his ears flicker.

Heat and wetness hugged his cock as he hurried his pace, still surprised he got to wake up this way. He loved Neytiri, of course. That was a fact he could never deny. She was the reason he had the life he had, the family he had, and the power he had. He owed her everything he was and would become. 

Yet, (Y/N) stirred something inside him that he had not felt since he was much younger. The insatiable hunger that clawed at the inside of his stomach that had gone into hibernation sometime before had been abruptly awakened two nights before. And as much as he had wished that it had been his own mate that had ignited that flame inside him, fate had a much different idea. 

But he knew his time was counted. Two days and a few hours, that’s all they had left to live in their fantasy. Just a bit of time and their bubble would be burst by their reality. Their mates would come back home and their adventure would have to stop. 

So, Jake pistoned inside her, savoring the feel of her walls around him, committing to memory the moment. Make every second count, he told himself. Every second. 

But he wouldn’t last long. He could not. Not when she whimpered against his ears, her hands gripped his cheeks as her lips met his in a hungry kiss, or when her insides clenched tighter and tighter around him. Jake simply would not last long. 

“Eywa, you have no idea what you do to me, sevin,” he groaned. “I feel like a boy. I’m ready to bust.” 

“I’m getting better,” she purred with a chuckle. “And you’re getting worse, sir. Might have to teach you some things now.”

“Don’t push it, baby girl. I’ve still got years over you.” 

He thrust harder into her, the thread that held him together ready to snap. He rutted in hunger, pushing harder and harder until he burst. He groaned as his release filled her, her walls siphoning every drop. 

But she wasn’t done, and he knew that. 

Without another thought, he slid out of her. She groaned in response to the sudden feeling of emptiness as he left her. But it wasn’t for long. 

Jake flipped her suddenly and got on his knees, his mouth face-to-face with her wet core. He licked at her folds tentatively, grinning as her body shuddered at the contact. As he tasted her and him all mixed homogeneously, he moaned. The salty essence that seeped from her entrance was the best liquid he had tasted, and he thought maybe this was the ambrosia the Greek gods spoke of – the secret to immortality. 

His tongue lapped at her clit as his fingers promptly pistoned inside her to push and hold any remnants of his seed into her. He attacked her slowly at first, getting her used to the motion before he assaulted her bundle of nerves from the inside as well as the outside. As his fingers curled at the tip, his mouth sucked and circled the aching mound. A starving man wanting nothing but to be fed. 

(Y/N)’s hands fell to the back of his head, her fingers curling into his braids as she pushed him deeper into her. Her back was arched, her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and her mouth parted as she panted. The pleasure was irrepressible, somehow her arousal growing rather than dying down. Still, she could feel the bubble building inside her, ready to pop. 

Jake never stopped his assault. His tongue lapped at her as his fingers thrust into her, over and over and over again. He could feel her clenching around his digits, losing control over her body and mind as he gained it. She was putty in his hands, allowing herself to neglect all reason and feel what it was that she needed to feel at that moment. 

She writhed and moaned under his touch, her legs closing around his head as he continued to devour her. All she could think about was what she felt at that moment. The way Jake’s hair tickled her thighs, the way his rough tongue circled her clit, the way his long fingers stretched her insides. It was the perfect influx of pleasure, a moment she wanted to stay in for as long as she could. 

But, the bubble had stretched as far as it could, and in a split second, it burst. Her breath hitched in her throat as her back raised from the bed in an arch, her feet planted on the mattress. As (Y/N) tried to ride out the orgasm, Jake gripped her hips tightly and held her. His tongue continued his onslaught as she panted and mewled. 

“Too much,” she cried. “It’s too much, Jake.” 

“Nonsense,” he chuckled. “I’ve seen just how much you can take, baby girl.”

Once his mouth was fully away from her core, (Y/N) could see her sleek glistening on his chin and dripping from his swollen lips. With a satisfied groan, he placed the fingers that had been inside her into his mouth, savoring the taste on his tongue. The only flavors he wanted dancing in his taste buds until the end of forever. 

“You’re still not done,” (Y/N) cooed as she noticed his hardness. With his eyes still closed, Jake hadn’t noticed that the girl had crawled toward him and rested on her kneed, face-to-face with his length. “I guess I’ll help you with that.” 

Before he could process her words, (Y/N) had taken hold of his shaft and stretched her mouth to allow his tip to fit in. She used her tongue to circle the dark tip, swallowing the precum that had already seeped from the head. 

Jake let out a shuddering breath as he felt the warmth of her mouth surround him. That feeling alone could have been enough to force his release, but he wanted the moment to last. It was already the beginning of the end of their entanglement. So much he wanted to experience with her, but their hours were limited. The timer was set for the return of their mates. 

“Eywa, you take me so well, baby girl,” he spoke through gritted teeth. (Y/N) had lowered herself onto his complete length, stretching the limits of her body’s capabilities. “And you look beautiful doing so.” 

He wiped away the stray tears that had fallen from her eyes at the pain, her yellow eyes looking directly into his. It was an addictive image for the man. Her eyes staring up at him; her ears pressed to her head in submission; her sprawled on her knees; her tail swaying rapidly behind her in delight. The most enchanting vision he had ever witnessed. 

She bobbed her head slowly at first, finding the right rhythm for him. The tempo that would beckon his moans and groans. She swirled her tongue around him as she took him in and pulled him out, a mess of saliva dripping out of the corners of her mouth. She was messy and still learning, but what she already knew how to do was enough to have Jake bucking his hips to meet her own speed. 

He was powerless when it came to her. Even in his state of dominance, all it took was a simple word, a simple action from her and he’d do anything she wanted. In this game of arousals and limbs, she held all the power, whether she knew it or not. The man that had led the Omatikaya people to victory against the sky-people, the same man that was the head of his clan, the Toruk Makto, was defenseless against the wife of his firstborn. 

“I’m so close,” he panted as her pace grew faster. The image of his cock thrusting into her mouth only worked to edge him on. “So fucking close, baby girl. Don’t stop.”  

All it took was the smile (Y/N) gave him as he said these words to have him bursting deep into her throat. He held her head still, gripping the sides with both of his hands, as he emptied himself inside her. He groaned as he felt his seed filling her, forcing her to swallow it down to not choke. 

“You’re perfect, (Y/N).” He pulled her to her feet, his lips planting a rough kiss onto hers. “So fucking perfect.” 

“All this praise might start getting to my head, sir,” she chuckled. “Although I do not mind it.” 

“You deserve all the beautiful words that exist in my language, in yours, and all the ones that have yet to be invented. That’s how perfect you are.” 

(Y/N) couldn't help the deep color that overtook her cheeks, warming her skin and exposing her embarrassment to his words. They were entering a territory that was too dangerous for both of them. Treading the thin line between a casual sexual encounter and romantic feelings. A line neither of them could afford to cross. 

“Well, the day has broken, Olo’eyktan,” she smiled, disregarding everything Jake had said. “It’s time you tend to your duties and I tend to mine.” 

“Very eager to have me leave your nest, little one,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. “I’ll see you tonight, okay? After dinner, we’ll come straight here.” 

“Only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself at the table,” she commanded. “And on the walk back.” 

“You’re tying my hand, but I promise.”  

“Well, then, see you tonight.” 

He kissed her lips once more before leaving the tent, the entrance flap swaying slightly as it finally closed. 

As her day transpired (Y/N) grew scared. Terrified of how easy it was becoming to go on about her day feeling the uneasiness in her heart overtake her. She should have been in pain, writhing in remorse for what she was doing with her husband’s father. Instead, she was fulfilling her chores and her lessons as if nothing had happened between them. 

She glided through the day with a grace only delusion could give. Believing that everything would somehow work out without any backfire or horrible repercussions. Because if she could trick her brain into thinking that nothing could go wrong, maybe it would be enough to bend fate to her own will. 

“(Y/N)!” Kiri yelled as she saw her friend making her way to the family’s tent. “We’re over here!” 

Behind, over, and just to the right was a small clearing the kids often visited. It was close enough to the village that the parents could call their children but hidden enough that they could get into enough trouble. 

Tuk, Lo’ak, and Kiri were waiting for their friend. The oldest was weaving a new poncho, the boy was sharpening arrowheads, and the youngest was braiding strands in Kiri’s hair. 

“(Y/N)!” Tuk dropped her sister’s hair and tan to hug the girl. “Can I do your hair now?” 

“Of course, Tuk. But I forgot the feathers you got me.” 

“That’s okay,” the little girl smiled. “I can redo it tomorrow. I love your hair.” 

“Well, if you insist,” she chuckled. 

(Y/N) sat crossed leg in front of the girl, who was already sat on a protruding tree root. Kiri got closer, placing herself next to her as Lo’ak abandoned what he was doing to rest his head on her lap. As she often did, the action now becoming an unconscious trigger, she ran her hands through his hair. 

They had always looked to her as an older sister, even as close in age as the oldest were, her calm and wise demeanor made them feel she was older than she actually was. 

“How have you been, (Y/N)?” Kiri questioned. “Truly. I know we already questioned you about this last night, but now that dad isn’t here, I wanna know how you really feel. I know you were holding back.” 

(Y/N) tensed slightly, not enough for any of the kids to notice. But Kiri had been right, she had been holding back, just not from what she believed. 

“I honestly just feel like my brain is muddled and hazy. Like I can’t really think straight,” she sighed. Her eyes were focused on Lo’ak’s hair, his braids falling through her fingers. “Neteyam has only been gone for four days but I feel like it’s been far too long. I even feel like I’ve changed myself. I don’t know. I’m rambling.” 

“I understand,” Kiri comforted. “It has to be such a surreal experience to be far from your mate. You’ve been by each other's side your whole life. And I’m sure that your connection through Eywa only strengthened that bond. It’s almost like you are missing a part of yourself.” 

“I just wish he’d never gone,” she admitted. And though her words weighed with truth, her body knew the lie that was laced into her words. “I’m afraid he’ll come back and I’ll be different. I don’t want to get used to him being gone.” 

“All you have to do is train to be a hunter then,” Lo’ak interjected. “That way you can go with them and maybe you can convince mom to let me go too.” 

“So, I’ll be stuck babysitting you? No, thanks.” 

“When we were kids you were one of the best hunters in the group,” he said. “If you had continued your training I’m sure you would have been the one to join mom on the expedition.” 

“Why did you leave your hunting training, (Y/N)?” Tuk perked from behind her. “If you were that good.” 

“Well, since I had been promised to Neteyam and he was already working so hard on his training, I decided to train as a healer instead with Mo’at,” she explained. “It didn’t make sense for the both of us to be great hunters. And I enjoy healing. I feel more in tune with our Mother Goddess and the people I’m the village. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” 

“Not even for spending more time with a Neteyam?” Kiri teased, bumping her shoulder with hers. “You could be with him right now, you know?” 

“I can go if you guys are that tired of me.” 

“Oh, please,” she chuckled. “I’m just saying, (Y/N). It’s just because I know how much you do miss him.” 

“I know, Kiri, and I do. But, at least I have you guys to keep me company.” 

“And dad too,” the girl added, unbeknownst to the breath that got hitched in (Y/N)’s throat. “He’s been so worried about you these past few days. I’m glad he’s been so attentive to you.” 

Warmth rushed through her body at the mention of Jake’s devoted attention. The three kids had no idea just how diligent he had been in Neteyam’s absence. They could not fathom how the man had helped in her lonely nights.

“Yes, your father has been quite… accommodating these past days,” she smiled, swallowing the guilt that was rising up her neck. “But I’m sure it’s because he is missing Neytiri as much as I’m missing Neteyam.”

“Well, at least there’s only less than three days until he is back,” Kiri smiled. “I’m sure you can hold off for that long.”

“I think so too.” 

They spent some time together at the clearing until the sun had gone farther down and they knew it was time for dinner. In the tent, Jake kept his promise. He kept his hands to himself and ensured that the meal went smoothly. The family enjoyed a calm and joyful dinner without suspecting why the two oldest were rushing to finish. 

As (Y/N) waited outside the tent, her good nights already said, Jake tucked his children into bed. Something he had not done the previous nights. 

“I know you're busy, dad, but I’ve been having nightmares,” Tuk peeped as her father wrapped her in her blanket. “Do you think you could sleep here tonight?” 

He didn’t want to say no. He couldn’t say no. As much as he wanted to spend another night tangled between (Y/N)’s limbs and her sheets, his family was too important. 

“Alright, baby,” he smiled at his daughter. “I might come in a bit late, but I promise I’ll come back tonight.” 

“Thank you, dad.”

“Of course, Tuk. Good night, baby.”

“Night, dad.” 

As soon as his children had all gone to bed, he left the nest. Outside, he gripped (Y/N) by her wrist and pulled her toward her own nest. He hurried through the village, the burning inside him already twisting his insides. He barely gave the girl any time to register his speed before he zoomed to her place. 

“Why are you rushing, Jake?” (Y/N) panted once they had stopped inside her tent. “You barely gave me a second to breathe.”

“It’s Tuk,” he said as he messily kissed her lips. “She’s been having nightmares and wants me to sleep over there tonight.” 

“Oh,” she responded. But he couldn’t decipher if her words were sewn with understanding or disappointment. “Then, let’s not waste any more time.”

She stood on her tiptoes as her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips collided roughly against his. Their tongues swirled around each other’s, their tails tangling around their waists to pull them closer together. They wanted more, to be as conjoined as much as they could. But there was only one way they could be. 

Jake snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her body up as he carried her to the mat. He laid her on the bed without breaking the kiss, their bodies flush together. He wanted to prolong the moment as much as he could, but he knew he had to be quick. Even against everything he was feeling. 

He left her mouth to kiss down to her jaw, then to her neck, taking a second to enjoy the mewls that rolled through her tongue as he sucked in the spot he had discovered. She gripped the hair at the base of his nape, tugging softly as his mouth left marks on her skin. 

He traveled after from her neck to her breast, ripping away the necklace that covered the mounds. The beads exploded all around them, dropping in tandem as Jake closed his mouth on the hardened peaks. He pressed his tongue flat against her, earning a loud moan from the girl. A sound she tried to dampen by slapping a hand against her mouth. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jake growled. “I want to hear all of your sounds, baby girl.” 

With one hand, he took hold of her wrists and caged them above her head. His grip was tight, ensuring she could not use her limbs to quiet her song. With the other, he kneaded the breast his mouth had left unattended. He rolled the nipple between his index finger and his thumb, pulling at it slightly as his teeth pulled the other. 

(Y/N) keened and gasped as her sensitive mounds were assaulted by the man. Her body squirmed under his, her limited movement only aiding in tightening the desire inside her. The profuse feeling took over her, drenching the heat between her legs. She felt powerless as he held her, but it excited her. So, she submitted. Allowed him to use her body in any way he saw fit because that’s what she wanted as well.

He abandoned her breasts, satisfied with the marks he’d left on them. Purple blotches that would darken over time. He continued his journey down her stomach, his tongue leaving a trail on the path he coursed through. He kissed the flatness of her belly, the peaks of her hips, the softness of her thighs, and he breathed her in. He inhaled her intoxicating aroma and let the essence infiltrate his nostrils. 

“Jake, please,” she whined. “We don’t have much time.” 

“Goddess, I know,” he groaned. “I wish I could stop time right now. Let it be just you and me here, forever.” 

“Come here,” she beckoned. As he released her hands, she pulled his face to meet with hers. Her lips pressed against his in an effort to comfort him. “The time we have is here and now. Let’s enjoy however much we have left.” 

“I just wish…” 

“Stop wishing,” she shushed him. “Just take me, Jake. Tomorrow is a new day.” 

His eyes searched hers for any sign of deception or regret, but all he found was her burning desire. She wanted him just as much as he did, yearning for the same connection. Her body craved him and he would give it just that. Because she was right, tomorrow was a new day. Another chance for him to show her everything she was missing with his son. Everything she deserved to feel. 

He quickly undid his loincloth as she untied hers, and thrust inside her. They both gasped at the sensation of being interconnected. He’d been inside her a handful of times already, but every time felt like the first moment. The tightness of her insides, the warmth of her core, the pulsating of the muscles of her wetness. It was all as novel as the first time he’d felt her. 

Their foreheads were pressed together as they panted in sync, reveling in the feeling that coursed through their bodies. The rhythm he started with was slow at first, his hips moving carefully to help her adjust to his length. He slid in and out of her wet core, focusing on not releasing before she had a chance to finish. 

But he couldn’t hold himself back for too long. His movements grew in fervor, the thrusts growing in speed. He could not quench the instinct that was triggered inside the second he entered her. 

In a split second, Jake flipped (Y/N) onto her stomach, drilling into her harshly. He placed his arms by her sides, balancing his body as he rutted into her like an animal. His hips met hers roughly, the sound of skin slapping onto skin resounding in the tent as it mixed with the squelching sound of her wetness. 

His pace turned punishing, hitting her deeper and harder than he had ever done before. She could barely breathe between his pistoning and the pressure of her front being pressed onto the mattress. As the arousal mixed with her lack of oxygen, she could feel her sight grow hazy. And she was loving it. 

Suddenly, a hand of his snaked around her neck, pulling her upper body up by her jaw as his lips met hers in a rough kiss. It was messy and sloppy, but it did not take away from the heat of the moment. 

“Fuck, baby girl,” he grumbled. “You feel so fucking good.”

A sleuth of praise and adorations fell from his mouth as he felt the rise of his end building inside him. He released her jaw to slide a hand under her and stimulate the button that would push her right over the edge. His fingers swirled over the bud, using her slickness to trace figures on the bundle of nerves. 

“Oh, Goddess!” (Y/N) screamed out, her voice muffled against the mattress. “Jake!” 

As her climax ran, Jake pounded three harsh times into her until he felt his seed coating her insides and coalescing with her own release. He panted as he emptied himself inside her, the force and speed he used finally dawning on his body. 

He collapsed beside her as he worked through the shockwaves that ransacked his body. His eyes fell closed as he steadied his heart and his breathing. He was simply not as young as he used to be. 

In his aftermath, Jake didn’t notice how (Y/N) crawled up the mat and laid her head on his chest. When he opened them, she had both arms tucked under her chin, her eyes tracing the lines and speckled dots on his face. She studied his features as if it was the first time she had seen him up close. And maybe, to her, it was. 

His heart fluttered at the traces of adoration that danced in her eyes. She looked angelic as she perused the marks on his face. The way her eyes danced from spot to spot trying to find any defining pattern. Too beautiful and perfect for the perverse things he was having her do. She deserved love, she deserved kindness, she deserved someone who could give her everything. 

Jake lowered his head, giving her a soft kiss. Her lips were warm and soft, and just as perfect as the rest of her. He now had so many wishes that involved her and only her. But he pushed them down, deep into his subconscious. Because she had told him to stop wishing. It wasn’t something they could afford to do. It was useless and, in the end, simply disappointing. 

“You really have to go?” (Y/N) spoke softly, her voice barely a whisper. 

“Tuk is waiting for me,” he responded, his hand brushing back a few strands of hair that had glued themselves to her forehead. “But tomorrow is a new day like you said.” 

“That’s true,” she smiled. “I know your family needs you.”

“You’re my family too, (Y/N). Say the word and I’ll stay.” 

“No,” the girl chuckled. “Go be with your daughter. She needs you now more than I do. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Jake. I’m sure. Go.”

“Alright then.” He kissed her lips one more time before he got up from the mattress. He covered her body with the fresh sheets she had only placed that morning and would need to change once again. “Where will you be tomorrow? I know it’s your day of rest.” 

“I will probably use the time to sleep,” she sighed as sleep slowly started to overtake her. “After that, I still don’t know.” 

“No worries. I’ll find you.” Before he finally left, Jake turned to look at her. “Sleep well, sevin. Good night.” 

“Good night, ma Jake.” 

Jake had never planned for any of this to happen as it did. Especially not the way his heart started to beat at the thought of her, how his body reacted to her, how his mind started thinking of her. Everything that he was feeling was forbidden, immoral, and went against everything he and the Na’vi people stood for. 

But he couldn’t ignore the swell of his chest or the warmth in his body that had been born a few days back. Yet, he had to. Three days and he would have to forget about her. Three days and the adventure would end. Three days and everything between them would be over.

Next ->

Taglist: @uwunuggetchan @ellabellabus07 @sweetllamaparadise @irisskies @crazy4books1

[lilnoctua]

If it's okay, can I ask more questions about Callista? I have a Lasombra OC too, and I love seeing other Lasombra characters on tumblr and learning about them. 😁 Did Callista have to go through a "testing" period too? What was/is her dynamic with her Sire like? Has she had any major frenzy events that caused trouble? How does Callista feel about her Coterie mates? (ΦωΦ)

Hi! I love answering questions so go right ahead!A lot of these questions are spoilers for my coterie members that are following me so I'll answer those below read more!

About her coterie members I can give you some short thoughts!

Rachel - "She's impossible to deal with sometimes! Impulsive! Impatient! And just so...young. I guess I can't blame her. It's not like I was any better when I was that age."

Wormstrung - "It's really good at what it does which doesn't come as any surprise. I just think it needs to learn when to keep it's nose to itself."

Lucien - "He has a great sense for fashion which is more than I could say for the others. Otherwise he is...nice to talk to. Though I could go without the tea. Maybe I should get him coffee maker."

Carmilla - "While her 'job' is definitely going to get herself and rest of us into trouble, she's driven and knows when to keep something to herself. But god does she and Rachel enable eachother."

Now for spoilers. Coterie stay away ❤

The testing period! Kinda. When the economic crash of 2015 happened, Callista ended up loosing all of her own wealth and owing a man A LOT of money which resulted in an assult. Her sire watched it all go down in the shadows, wanting to see if she would crumble and pity herself. But she didn't. Even when she was very injured she used her last bit of consciousness to curse and spit at the man. This and after her sire prodded a bit more proved to him that she could be enough after one final test... Frenzy! While she's done some terrible things while being in the Sabbat, the one that stuck with her is strangely the one she doesn't remember. Her sire's final test. Shovelhead. She only remembers waking up in a muddy grave. Then she was out of the grave, her hands covered in mud and blood and her sire standing before her with an outstretched hand. It has always bothered her that she doesn't know how the blood on her hands, dug deep underneath her nails. Both of these stories you can read in my fic I posted on ao3! It's called "August 26th 2015". Dynamic with her sire! Oh man. Her sire keeps control over her and her "sisters" through their dynamic with him and faith. He is their creator, father, teacher, preacher and lover. One second he is affectionate, protective and a calming presence. He allows them to relax, removing their anxieties and be free. But in the next second then he tears it all away if they aren't what he wants or needs them to be. He creates a strong bond between the sister, but at the same time nurtures a competitive/jealous side between them. Giving one favortism to have the other two work even harder to gain his attention. That way they won't come to the conclusion that they are better off without him since they can't fully rely on eachother (kindred paranoia is fun). All they know is that they can only ever find love (or the closest they can get to it in the Sabbat/as kindred) is with him. A 4 person cult really. This, along with her time in the broker life, has caused Callista to view intimacy as a manipulation tactic while at the same time so strongly craving it.

[alterwriting]

primary - in outer ring by default - au possible - she / her

* // burnice headcanons

I write Burnice as a young adult around the age of 23-25 years old.

Burnice's hobby regarding bartending has been an interest for her for a long time now. She tries to create a new drink every couple of months, but it simply is a bit difficult considering the Outer Ring has limited choices for ingredients. She likes to pick up new stuff from the city every time they visit.

Her genuine, sparkly persona may come off as flirting, but she doesn't do so on purpose. Romance isn't really on her agenda, she is more of an adrenaline junkie who doesn't have time for longing gazes into someone's eyes.

The one who can drink the most without having a hangover. She only drinks excessively during parties, but always tries her drinks when she experiments with taste.

One of the reasons why her drinks always make people cough is that she doesn't have much sense of taste and thus mostly enjoys spicy flavors. Her drinks sometimes could wake up someone from the dead. Her cooking, however, is pretty good if she sticks with the recipe.

Absolutely crazy about Nitro-Fuel, will go apeshit after just 2 cans.

She is a bit of a pyromaniac, loving the sight of flames rising. However, putting things on fire within the camp is prohibited - and rules are rules! Wouldn't want Lucy to nag her about burning something down, would you?

Has the weirdest sleep schedule. Sometimes she stays up all night and sleeps all day, other times she is the first one awake.

Burnice is quite interested into makeup and fashion from the city. As a girl who grew up in the Outer Ring, she was never able to afford some luxury. Sometimes she borrows Lucy's stuff, but it's better when Lucy teaches her how to apply makeup instead.

Starts the worst types of bets. Usually loses the bets she started herself.

She may not be the brightest bulb in the lamp shop, but is very empathetic when it comes to the worries and sorrows of her gang members. Partly, this is what makes her such a great bartender. She always has an open ear and a shoulder to cry on. Just don't tell her any secrets because she can't keep them for the hell of it.

Has an extremely strong immune system. There seems to be no time of the year she catches a cold.

She recently happened to receive a vintage video camera as they were used in Old Eridu. Experimenting with it and recording the fun moments of the Sons of Calydon has become one of her newest hobbies.

[stwaidwen]

HIIII im new to this sideblog so i actually dont know ANY of ur ocs yet!!!! do u have a crash course for them pretty please

I should REALLY have an OC page oh my god. Absolutely tho! Putting it under a read more bc it's so hefty.

BG3

Serendipity, or Sera for short, is a tiefling druid about to turn 30 during the events of the game. In my setting, there's a hidden city in the desert outside of Faerûn called "Gate" which functions as the 0th circle of hell. Tieflings in this city are subjugated and oppressed by higher and more powerful devils. Sera's parents conspired for almost a decade to orchestrate their family's escape, and when she and her twin brother (Ty, short for Unity) were 15, Sera's family finally managed it. They have been functionally on the run through Faerûn ever since, alternating between living in the wilderness and stopping in large cities, where her father taught her the basics of druidic magic, being a druid himself. Sera and her brother are best friends, and for a significant part of their lives, were incredibly co-dependent. They would go everywhere together, and Ty went through a period when they were still living in Gate where he couldn't sleep unless they were sharing a bed. When they hit about 22, Ty had reached a point where his mother had imparted all her skills as a rogue, and as Ty's affinity lay more with ranger-focused abilities, he decided to leave home, and join the Harpers. Sera initially took the decision very badly, but came round to the idea, and she gave him one hell of a send-off. The space enabled both of them to grow and develop, and to discover who they were without the other. They remained incredibly close, writing to each other regularly and aiming to meet up once every couple of months. Sera's parents eventually moved to Waterdeep, because the large city held great opportunities for them, both as a diplomat and assassin respectively. Sera decided to stay in Baldur's Gate, in a small house-share in Rivington. She enjoyed her life there immensely, but the wilds continued to call to her, and when she got picked up by the Nautiloid, she was on her way to the Emerald Grove, eager to continue her druid training. Sera is autistic, wears her heart on her sleeve and has a very strong sense of self. She is confident, passionate, and makes a great effort to choose kindness wherever possible. She can also sometimes be very immature, after essentially having her childhood stolen from her. She relishes in causing mischief, has very little regard for authority and has absolutely no qualms about speaking her mind, even - or especially - when it is likely to cause trouble. Whilst on the run, her family evaded capture because they relied on the goodwill of strangers to not give them up, and as such, she values allies more than anything in the world, and considers turning on your allies to be the ultimate betrayal. After a somewhat rocky start, Astarion grows to love her deeply, even if her penchant for altruism gets on his nerves. She teaches him that world is not inherently cruel, and he teaches her that being selfish sometimes is okay. She eventually proposes to him and they are married under the full moon. Her main party is Gale, Shadowheart and Astarion.

(Dark Urge spoilers ahead)

Aviv is my Dark Urge Paladin. When she wakes up on the nautiloid with no memories, covered in scars she doesn't have any context for, Aviv is absolutely terrified. She focuses on getting off the ship, and greatly appreciates Lae'zel taking the lead. When she wakes up on the beach, still with nothing, she frantically searches her pack for something; anything. This is when she finds the written oath she swore as a Paladin. She recites it over and over, until she feels a little less alone. This becomes something she does regularly over the course of their adventures. It becomes something to cling to. A fraction of a life lost. When she does finally remember who she was, it went a little like this: Aviv was the head of the cult of Bhaal in Baldur's Gate. She was revered and worshipped, trusted with only the most secret of missions and marks. She also despised most of the ritual and ceremony, because she believed it childish, tacky and unnecessary to venerate her father, but Bhaal's followers needed performance. However, she was not a wholly willing participant. Bhaal's hold over her was incredibly strong, but wavered, and during these periods of clarity, Aviv would attempt escape. It was during one of these spells that she found her way to an order of Paladins and swore an oath of vengeance, so that she could at least attempt, on some level, to combat some of the evil she was putting into the world. She was also, during this time, tasked with infiltrating the high society of Baldur's Gate and spreading terror amongst its members with some very strategic murders. This is where she met Enver Gortash. Their attraction to each other was instant, though Aviv made him work hard to woo her. He came to accept that she would often disappear for a month or so, and then return. He did not ask for an explanation, and she did not offer one. He was furious after Orin attacked her and left her for dead, and elated when he discovered she still lived. When Aviv finally battles Orin in the temple of Bhaal, she rejects him, willingly accepting her death. But Jergal has other plans, and she rises anew, free of her father's chains. Aviv is mostly very gentle and soft spoken, and people often underestimate her, or outright dismiss her as an opponent because of her quiet demeanor. She uses this to her advantage, particularly in high society politics - Enver always affectionately referred to her as a viper - but this is largely a performance, and on the battlefield, she transforms into an unstoppable, unforgiving force. During Act I and Act II, her friendship with Gale develops into a romance and by the time the party reaches Moonrise Towers, they are hopelessly in love. Act III however, complicates things. Gale's desire to pursue godhood, and Aviv's past catching up to her at the speed of a freight train both put extraordinary tension on their blossoming relationship, and I still haven't decided if they will stay together or not. Her main party is Gale, Lae'zel and Karlach.

Pillars of Eternity

Shachar is an 70-year-old (about 35 in human years) elf rogue from Old Vailia, who sought to rebel against a tyrannical ruler that held her state under martial law. The rebellion was crushed and she barely escaped with her life, fleeing through Aedyr to the Dyrwood for safety. Initially she thinks becoming a Watcher is awful, and she spends half the first game desperate to cure herself and return to her old life, but by the end, she's much more at peace with herself. In the intervening five years between 1 and Deadfire, she's very happy at Caed Nua, and thrives as leader of the new settlement. She's sarcastic, happy-go-lucky, and does not suffer fools. She doesn't enjoy violence but will not hesitate to take life ruthlessly to ensure her and her friends' survival. Very early on, she develops a deep, romantic attraction towards Edér, but does not act on it, and does not tell anyone about it. Her best friend is Hiravias, as both of them have a very similar sense of humour and outlook. During Deadfire, she's even quicker to temper, furious with every God, and absolutely HATES boats. She very quickly makes an enemy of the Royal Deadfire Company, and Maia is only on her ship for a month or two before Shachar demands that she leave. She and Tekēhu form an intense bond, and in the moment they meet, are absolutely perfect for each other. They share a bed, and their burdens, and believe the other to be a soulmate, but are very content to go their separate ways at the end of the game, their time together and needing each other now at an end. It is only by watching her and Tekēhu together that Edér realises he's in love with Shachar, and upon hearing they have split up, makes his move on the way back to the Dyrwood. Her main party in game 1 is Aloth, Edér, Pallegina, Hiravias and Sagani, and game 2 is Aloth, Edér, Tekēhu and Xoti.

Ziva is a human priest of Eothas, who was a slave in the Deadfire Archipelago as a child and freed by the Children of the Dawnstar. She is VERY young, barely pushing 20 at the start of the first game, and really struggles with the expectation and pressure put upon her by becoming a Watcher. Edér steps into the role of big brother, which helps him heal from his conflict with his own older brother. Aloth as well, and Iselmyr especially, also step into a role as her protector, and by the end of the first game she has really grown into a confident young woman. She is deeply religious, and still takes time to pray to Eothas every day at dawn, even though it could get her killed. The second game is very complicated for her, and a lot of the confidence she found in the first game is stripped away, as she is essentially forced to go back to the place where she was enslaved. She finds a very close friend in Serafen, however, and he always finds ways to make her laugh. She is very quiet and soft spoken, is very squeamish and has a strong affinity for dogs. Her main party in game 1 is Aloth, Edér, Grieving Mother, Kana Rua and Sagani, and game 2 is Aloth, Edér, Serafen and Tekēhu.

D&D

(art by my fabulous bestie @glamfellens)

Nina Riordan is my current main character. She is a human artificer, homebrewed subclass, in her early 30s. In our setting, all magic use has to be registered and practiced with the permission of The Dimensional Eye (or just The Eye), including healing, which means many common folk could not afford those services. In the small town where Nina and her husband lived, she defied the eye by recreating magical healing with both science and herbal medicine, and this pissed a lot of people off. One day when she was collecting herbs in the woods, the Eye killed her husband and burned down her cottage and she's been on the run ever since. She made her way to a city called Fortune's Cove, where she ended up apprenticing under a famed artificer, Slim Chance the tiefling. After about two years, they had a very amicable parting (and keep in regular contact) whilst Nina moved on. She made her way to Okovo Bay, the biggest city in the region, and set up a small, free underground medical clinic in the poorest district of town, living off of donations and bartering for favours. We've just finished up the first arc of our campaign, and her clinic has grown into a small community centre and soup kitchen as well as a medical clinic, but Nina has drawn too much attention and now has to make the decision between taking a stand and systematically dismantling the Eye, or leaving the party and going on the run again. She's fiery, blunt, pragmatic, scarily intelligent and often very vindictive. At the moment she's at the start of a long, bloody path of vengeance that she has the arrogance to believe is not going to corrupt her, and will also not fix the aching void of grief inside her, no matter how much she hopes it will. Her greatest fear is that her husband is still alive, that the body she saw was not actually his, and that they will reunite but he will reject her. She would rather be dead than alive in a world where he is also alive but not with her.

Fallout New Vegas

Ari Schultz is a deeply religious Jewish woman from the Boneyard who is trying to leave the post-apocalypse better than she was born into. She believes firmly in the power of community and will not hesitate to remove anyone who threatens that, be it raiders, Legion slavers or Mr House himself. She helps as many people as she can in the wasteland, in return for a little food, a good story, and if possible, a place to sleep. She gets on really well with Veronica and Raul in particular. She and Boone eventually start a romantic relationship, as Ari's explicitly Jewish outlook helps him overcome a lot of his guilt for Bitter Springs and forge a path forward (she asks him what purpose self flagellation has beyond attempted alleviation of his own guilt and it rewires his brain chemistry a little bit lol), but this relationship is very slow burn, and takes about 3/4 of the game to come to fruition. Their first kiss is in Caesar's tent after their successful assault on the Legion Camp (this is in front of Benny who interrupts them and asks to be untied). Her chosen weapon is a baseball bat, and she takes great pleasure in using it, and spends a lot of time maintenancing it. She's a fantastic cook, especially around a desert campfire, but doesn't really trust or use technology unless absolutely necessary. She can fix pretty much any vehicle or machine, and if she hadn't chosen to be a Courier she probably would have become a mechanic, but hacking and robotics are beyond her skill. When she travels to Zion Canyon she's really mad to find it full of Mormons and kills Joshua Graham without even really blinking, tells the other missionaries to get the fuck out or die with him and encourages the Dead Horses and Sorrows to talk with each other to find peace. She and Boone go to investigate a mysterious radio signal talking about the Sierra Madre, and when she wakes up with a bomb round her neck with Craig nowhere to be found, again, she's furious. It isn't as traumatising for Ari as it might be for some couriers, because she's a proficient melee fighter and is able to brute force her way through a lot of the toxic clouds After killing Father Elijah and staggering out of the bunker and across the desert, Ari collapses near Folorn Hope and is discovered by NCR Rangers. She is taken to the medical tent there to receive treatment. In her ramblings, she mentions the Lucky 38, and so her companions are contacted to inform them where she is. The truly traumatising experience for Ari is being transported to the Big MT. Surrounded by technology she doesn't understand, killing other patients and dealing with the loss of her autonomy, leaves her feeling incredibly vulnerable, and she is absolutely terrified of all the talking amenities in her room. She refuses to use the Auto-Doc because of this, and by the time she reappears in the Mojave, she's close to death. Crimson Caravan traders pick find her unconscious in the dirt, and luckily, manage to safely escort her back to the Fort so Julie and Arcade can patch her up. She slides in and out of consciousness for almost a week, and when she does wake up, she's so terrified of being in a medical environment that she has a full breakdown and ends up being sedated. She is incredibly touch averse for a long time afterwards, and is especially self-conscious of the scars she accrued from the surgeries. It takes about a year before she allows anyone except Boone or Arcade to tend to any injuries she gets. She spares Benny, saves him from the Legion, and invites him to come and help her run the Strip post-game because she has no idea how to run a business, and they eventually become very close friends. She chooses the independent route and invites the Followers of the Apocalypse to set up inside the Strip in the old NCR base. She and Boone move into the Lucky 38, and she sets up a Synagogue in Freeside. She has a dog called Kafir, so named because Ari in Hebrew means "lion" and Kafir means "lion cub". He is her best friend and whole world, and he is mostly a mix of Blue Heeler and German Shepard.

[sea-side-scribbles]

Solas wakes up in the strange new world of his own making and it terrifies him. Ridden with guilt, he joins the Inquisition and begins his lonely research in order to correct his mistake.

He doesn’t expect to find consolation in the presence of a human who wields ancient elven magic without knowing it. Who is way too gentle for an elgar’thanelan, but doesn’t know that either.

Solas, for his part, doesn’t know how to stay away.

Dorian wonders if the mysterious elf just enjoys playing with a Tevinter. He wouldn’t expect anything else.

_____________________

Chapter 1- 13 | Right after uthenera, Solas is found by a Dalish clan. This goes well until it doesn’t. (Basically my excuse for world building and hilarious misunderstandings.)

Chapter 14 | Solas joins the Inquisition.

Chapter 20 | Dorian appears in Haven.

Chapter 38

Approaching the war table the next morning, Solas heard the advisor's voices already from far away. Now with the Herald back at the front, there was some direction in their dispute. They didn't speak all at once any longer, since Ellana demanded them to hear each other out. However, it was a heated argument about a point Solas could very well guess. He was sure to bring closure to their most dire problem.

Nearing the table, Cassandra spotted him first. “Solas”, she addressed him in her strict manner. “You appear to have a sense for rifts. Are there any nearby?” Looking around, Solas found four other tense faces, waiting for his answer. “Nothing to report, Seeker. The veil is strong in this area.” “Good. Then we at least do not have to worry about demons along our way.” “That means time remains our greatest enemy.” Cullen made a step towards Ellana. “Herald, I implore you, my proposal leads to the closest settlement from here. We cannot go hillwalking for weeks with a camp full of injured, untrained pilgrims.” The spymaster answered instead: “Your loyalty to the templars is honourable, but even you should not want to get so close to them again.”

Another quarrel ensued, with Josephine trying to soothe everyone but failing and Ellana pinching the bridge of her nose. She didn't know this area herself, so she had to make a choice based on these shems' opinions. Sometimes she missed even Corypheus.

She remembered Solas when he walked into her direction and gave him an apologetic look. For ignoring him. For the noise. For...everything. “Is there something else to report, Solas?” “I meant to submit a proposal myself. There is a fortress in these mountains, located in the north from here. We should arrive there within a few days. Considering its past use, it should have old trade routes we can repurpose to transport our own supplies. If we are looking for a new hideout for the Inquisition rather than to be at the mercy of other owners, it would be the most practical option.” Ellana furrowed her brows, surprised by the sudden solution. “A fortress? How do you know this?” “It has once been a very busy place. In ancient times, our ancestors used to visit it. Later, Fereldans came to claim it. Lastly, it was owned by dwarves. Such activity leaves traces in the fade.” “...that you just accidentally happened to pick up?” “I was aware of the fortress already in Haven, but there was no need to report it. Now, I think we should use the opportunity.”

Not everyone agreed. “I grew up in these lands. If there was a fortress in the Frostback Mountains, I would know about it”, Cullen protested. “Well, it hasn't been in use since after the Third Blight. I assume you Fereldans forgot about it.” “So it's a ruin? Probably useless? If it even exists?” “It looked well enough-” “-in the fade.” Cullen let out a desperate snort. “Herald, please, we can't let our soldiers search for...a pile of ancient stones, because an apostate dreamed about it. We need real shelter and supplies. Even reinforcements. Healers. Quickly.” “Well, at first, to get me listen to you in the first place, you must stop calling me Herald.” Cullen wiped his brow. “Maker's breath...” “And Andraste's flaming tits!”, Ellana shouted. “How hard is it to say my name? I know elves called Otargeniman and Sulahnadahlen just so you know you're lucky!” The Knight Commander scowled at her, then remembered who he believed her to be. “Miss Lavellan...”, he tried to say calmly. “Our people are running out of strength. And patience. This dream fortress should be out of the question.” He gave Solas a scowl now.

Solas took it without a wince. “Since you are concerned about time, how long to you plan your people to wait for the negotiations with whoever you are trying to form an alliance with in Ferelden? Remember, this organisation is running short of allies.” “That's why I suggested Orlais”, Leliana butted in. Val Royeaux has taken notice of us. I'd say impudence wins.” “But not with a group of apostate rebels in tow! We already spoke about this!”, Cullen flared up. “I mean, impudence and furtiveness.” “Assassins is what you say”, Cassandra clarified. “No, there will be no need for such methods. We will prove ourselves trustworthy to our future allies with peaceful negotiations”, Josephine begged.

“Guys, guys!” Ellana waved her hands in the air to make them stop. “Now that you expressed your opinions in your delightful human way, how about this: all your suggestions include going further north at some point, because nobody likes to risk meeting the archdemon again. Yes, even yours, Cassandra. So, we will look for that fortress on the way, it will be the closest destination. Solas should help locating it.” He nodded at her contentedly. “If we don't come across it, or find it to be a pile of useless rubble, we move on from there.” “And to where, I wonder?”, Cassandra narrowed her eyes. Ellana sighed. “We have time until then to make that decision.” Cassandra rolled her eyes while Leliana seemed to already form a plan in her head. “At least we're moving on.” Cullen calmed himself down.

Solas looked at the silencing group, satisfied with the result, as Ellana approached him quietly. “So...this fortress....you think our ancestors lived there? Ancient elves?” He lit up at her question, as if he had been waiting for it. “Indeed, however, finding a trace of our culture in the fortress itself will be difficult, since there have been many alterations over the ages. It should look rather dwarven now, with sturdy walls and sharp edges. But nevertheless useful for our cause.” “Does that mean you saw our ancestors in the fade?” Her expression was full of doubt. “Shadows of them, I heard fragments of their memories, the ancient tongue. I saw golden ornaments on crystal walls and a library bursting with tomes. Sadly, I believe we will not find them in the waking world.” Ellana blinked, overwhelmed by what she heard. “Do you believe everything you see in the fade?” “I still have my sanity and reason, if that is what you mean.” “Looking for answers in dreams is a dangerous ordeal”, she said, amusing Solas with the attempt of lecturing him. “I'm...curious what we will find in this fortress, if it exists.” “I never said not to be careful. I could be full of bandits.” She snorted. “Pirates with daggers in their mouths, counting their gold...” “Elven pirates then? Flying with aravels over the mountains?” She chuckled at the image and Solas regretted she couldn't really picture it.

He left the discussion soon after, because there was someone else who needed his attention.

Dorian's heart skipped a beat when he realized who visited him. Again. As if it was the most normal thing in the world. Another inside joke they shared, save from Varric and Blackwall, who weren't there to spoil the moment.

He tried not to stare too much, at the elf's lean figure, his straight posture, the little strut he allowed himself despite insisting to be a modest hermit. The coat that, admittedly, looked as if a blind man had stitched it together with the oldest scraps of fabric within reach, was belted just tightly enough to emphasize a slender waist. His leggings accentuated his long legs, his thighs and...other parts Dorian didn't dare to think about. It hurt to admit it, but considering the resources this elf had on hand in the wilds, he...did his best.

“Good morning, Dorian. Did you sleep well?” Such a...common greeting, but feeling strange, directed at him. “Well enough, considering the circumstances...” Dorian just about stopped his complaint, because the elf hadn't been too fond of these so far. This time, Solas reacted with the most adorable look, tilting his head and eyeing him curiously. Then he offered him his hand. “You mind a more thoroughly analysis?” Dorian almost coughed, but turned it into clearing his throat. When he held out his hand, he noticed in shock that it shivered. The Tevene curse was on the tip of his tongue, but Solas didn't seem to notice. He curled his fingers around Dorian's and closed his eyes.

Then Dorian stared, shamelessly. At the sharp features that he had never expected to soften for him and the hand that began to glow slightly. Sensing the tickle that ran along his arm, through his body, he realized that healing had never felt like this. The sting of sharp needles was missing. The nauseating feeling of his bones and tissue being forced back into order, that would press against his tongue until he lost all his stomach contents. Well, he wasn't terribly hurt anymore, no need for such brute force. Still, he made a mental note to ask about it. It seemed that Solas had his magic under control again and what had brought them to lose their minds was now gentle and helpful. The glow faded as Solas opened his eyes.

“I feel...better now”, Dorian stated, giving Solas a surprised look. The elf only nodded as if he had done something trivial. “I wasted your energy yesterday”, he said quietly, full of regret. Looking up, he went on: “Where are Varric and Blackwall?” Dorian didn't like the change of topic at all. “They were in good hands, last I saw them. No, I don't mean to make any implications, they are swarmed by healers and admirers that seem to want them to either heal faster or get earlier into their grave. Not sure yet.” To Solas' startled expression, he added: “Don't worry, Varric is already writing the tale and Blackwall is yelling at soldiers. They're both tough.” Tougher than me, was the conclusion Dorian hadn't intended to make. Welcome back, taste of foot in mouth.

But the real conclusion Solas came to was that the Tevinter was left alone by those he saved. Talk spread, of course, about his noble deeds, but nobody except for the healers seemed to dare get close to him. Regret washed over him and he sat beside Dorian on his bed. Now unfortunately, his feelings created a lump in his throat and emptied his mind. Awkward silence was the outcome.

He didn't know that for Dorian, this silence didn't feel awkward. Of course, he wished he had something witty to say. But the simple fact that Solas was sitting next to him and expressed sympathy flattered him. He didn't even pick up on the easy tease. “How are you?”, Dorian suddenly came up with. Solas lifted his head, looking as puzzled as he should have been. “I imagine it must've been...hard for you....Having to say farewell to your friends. We didn't exactly plan to come back...And now healing us...I imagine nobody asks about how exhausted you are.” The elf regarded him, giving Dorian the impression that he said something unbelievably silly. Heat rose up to his cheeks while he recalled...it wasn't that stupid, right?

“You are right...”, the elf said surprisingly soft. “Alas, I am not the one who made the sacrifice. My well-being does not matter in this situation.” “It matters to me.” Now he really rose to award-winning levels of stupidity. The elf averted his gaze, possibly embarrassed. “...and to Blackwall...and Varric...and...Ellana...”, he went on, trying to salvage it. “I mean, we are your friends...” Solas was still looking away. Now, come on. Could a simple “How are you” do so much damage?

“Thank you”, Solas finally said, and it stung differently than a scolding. “...For reminding me...Sometimes I forget...” He couldn't say more. Dorian sat up, moved closer to the upset elf. “It's an odd place, this Inquisition...It seems all of Thedas is coming together for a greater cause. And borders and statuses become blurred. I didn't think it would be possible, but I begin to like these people, despite their lacking conception of hygiene and home comforts...” He saw Solas' ears twitch. Oh, how much he missed these. How much he liked these. Maker forbid if Solas ever got the hint. The elf's chuckle lifted a rock from his chest. The entire Frostback Mountains. And the violet eyes directed at him... Elven eyes were so very fascinating. Especially his.

“I feel the same”, Solas whispered. “The Inquisition surprises me every day.” “It's a place of wonders, indeed.” Dorian gave him a smirk. “May I ask again: how are you?” Confusion flashed over Solas' features. I...I am glad you are alive...” He huffed out a faint chuckle. “Do you accept this as an answer?”, he asked as if he was following an order. Nevertheless, Dorian's heart skipped another beat. Making a thoughtful face, he tapped his chin. “Huh...It's a short answer, lacking a certain self-analysis, but it's nonetheless appreciated.” Solas looked relieved. “That is...good, is it not?” “For now.” They smiled at each other, approvingly. It was a wonderful moment.

None of them noticed the Dalish elf that peeked through the tent flaps and pressed a hand against her mouth.

Notes:

Otargeniman: from Antiva Sulahnadahlen: song of the forest