#but since I'm not saying that maybe people shouldn't assume that I am?

[hikeyzz]

idk I'm bored :/

right well several things here that i am gonna break down bc you're 18 and the world hasn't taught you better and it's not my job to teach you either but i'm trying to be gracious:

1) i'm not an entertainer. saying you want to talk to someone just because you're bored is pretty rude. it tells me you actually have no reason to speak to ME, you just want to speak to SOMEONE who will keep you entertained. right now i don't know why you want to talk to me. it seems like you just want to pass the time, and there are plenty of other reasons it could be, but you've only told me it's because you're bored.

2) it's weird to ask someone to talk and then not have a topic of conversation to talk about. again, seems like you just want to be entertained, not actually get to know, befriend, or chat with ME.

3) if you're genuinely trying to make friends you could put in a little more effort than the basic "hey how are you" maybe scroll my blog a bit? find something of interest we have in common and start a conversation off that? you have a blank blog so there's nothing about you i can glean from it, you're just coming off as suspicious.

4) some people (like me), assume that strangers usually DON'T have good intentions and shouldn't be trusted. if you really want to befriend them, you will have to show you are a trustworthy person first. that means you can't rush through building trust and have to be willing to build it on their terms. like for me, my DMs are only open to mutuals. and since you have a blank blog, i'm not going to follow you, and we're not going to DM. to build trust with me, you'd have to continue conversations in asks until i felt like i "knew" you enough to decide to follow you, and then having conversations in my DMs would be a possibility. i only follow people if i like what's on their blog or am friends with them or know them through mutuals. neither apply to you currently.

[jeff-from-marketing]

For fuck sake, I'm this close to just blocking the asexual tag on Tumblr. Not because those people aren't valid, they're so fucking valid and deserve to be loved and respected! I love you all and you deserve to be represented in society

But apparently some people don't know how to not conflate aromanticism with asexuality. Say it with me people:

ROMANCE AND SEX ARE NOT ONE IN THE SAME

They're different things! Yes, for many they can be tied together, but that doesn't make them inherently interchangeable! You can love someone with all your heart and never want to fuck them, and conversely you can want to fuck someone you find hot without ever even knowing them.

The amount of fucking times I've seen a post only aimed at asexual people tagged with all the aromantic tags is absurd. I'm not ace, I do not identify with being on that spectrum. But I am fucking aromantic! Stop putting me in the same group when they're not the same thing! It's disingenuous to people who are only asexual and not aroace, and it's dangerously fucking close to just erasing aromantics.

I don't like trying to police how people use the site, even if it wasn't a pointless endeavour it would just be rude, and I don't want to be that person. But I'm also just tired of seeing every other post tagged with aromantic actually just being about asexuality. I don't want those posts to stop, I just want them to be tagged properly so that asexual people get proper representation without drowning out aromantics. Obviously if it's an aroace post then yeah tag both, that makes sense, I'm not going to fight that. But otherwise, please, I just want to be able to see stuff about aromanticism without it being drowned out by asexuality.

I want to be seen.

(side note: the reverse of all this is obviously true. Do not fucking tag a post that's just about aromanticism with asexual. We all deserve our own representation without drowning each other. We should be working to lift each other up, not use each other as stepping stones)

[hannahhook7744]

Why Franklin and Maryann Portman are the Worst™ (Part 1)!;

I want to preface this by saying that I know that by no means Franklin and Maryann Portman are the actual worst parents in fiction or in this series even. 

Of course they aren't. 

But that doesn't mean that I can't still refer to them as the worst™ for them being shitty. Even if I do believe that on some leave that they do care about/love their son. 

I also wanna point out that it's been awhile since I read the books so I'm going off my memory and the wiki for this. So I may forget some context of why this or that happens, and if I do that, feel free to comment it down below respectfully. And if I forget something that you find shitty that they did, also feel free to reblog or comment it down below because I would love to talk about these characters and fandom more.

Am I saying that Abe Portman is 100% perfect and did nothing wrong whatsoever? No, that would go against how his character is betrayed in the books—as a flawed traumatized man who did his best to be there for his family and keep them and himself (as well as others) safe and went about some things the wrong way. 

 Now that that's out of the way…

According to the wiki:

“Jacob was born on Halloween, and up until he was eight years old was convinced by his parents that trick-or-treating candy was birthday presents (something apparently revealed in Hollow City).” 

These people are rich. 

R-I-C-H. 

Rich enough that Jacob’s dad can study birds and volunteer and write mine books that he never publishes without the worry of them not having anything to eat. 

R-I-C-H enough that Jacob comments that “I did love her, of course, but mostly because loving your mom is mandatory, not because she was someone I think I'd like very much if I met her walking down the street. Which she wouldn't be, anyway; walking is for poor people.” And rich enough that they gave their kid their four year old sundan so that they could get a brand new car. 

And for eight years, they had their son believing that candy was a birthday present. 

1. Now, look. I get it. Birthday shopping is hard, especially for a little itty bitty kid but not actually having the money to buy your only kid gifts and choosing not to because people are handing out candy on that day anyway? That's not a very nice thing to do for that long. 

They let him go through three years of school thinking that and we never learned how he found out that was a lie. That's not even including the fact that the rest of their extended family let this lie continue (assuming they knew). 

Can you imagine if Jacob found out because he mentioned this to his classmates or a teacher? Maybe a teacher or family member could salvage the situation but little kids can be brutal, especially towards other little kids who they think are wrong and considering we know that in that same year, Jacob was pants-ed causing him to stop believing anything Abe said…. It's not entirely out of the realm of possibility tl believe that one of Jacob's classmates got in a fight with him over it and caused some kind of embarrassing, painful memory. 

Though I guess it's a good thing they didn't get Jacob birthday presents that early on considering my second point. 

2. The birthday scene. 

Look at his birthday scene. 

This scene? Shouldn't really exist. 

Not because I hate birthday scenes but because Jacob literally told his parents he didn't want a party which under normal circumstances is a reasonable ask within itself. But these? These aren't even normal circumstances. 

Jacob doesn't want a party because the one person he'd actually want there, in his own words, is his grandpa. His grandpa who died in his arms nine months before and who Jacob has been viciously mourning for said nine months. His grandpa whose death caused Jacob's ‘mental breakdown’. 

Whose house they had also cleaned out recently, doing shit all for the now sixteen year old’s mental health and grief. 

But what do his parents do? 

Throw him a surprise party.

A surprise party.

For their jumpy traumatized son who found his grandpa bleeding out in the dark after getting attacked by a monster (or ‘rabid dogs’) and who has been sleeping in the fucking laundry room. 

Why on earth would going against his wishes be good for him? He said he didn't want a party and under these circumstances, it's even more understandable. If you really want your son to socialize or to celebrate, then get him a cake or some food he likes and invite his friend over. Talk to him. 

Don't throw him a party he doesn't want and don't throw the kid who's been having non-stop nightmares about the monsters who killed his grandfather a fucking surprise party. 

To make matters, in this party:

One of his uncles he’s not close to tries to spring a summer trip to his house on him, listing shit that he likely knows Jacob doesn't like with no previous warning to the kid himself (his parents were just planning to ship him off, whether he wanted it or not). 

They're calling Jacob's apparent disorder ‘his thing’. 

And nobody is actually getting him anything he wants. Just shit they've been gifted and are trying to get rid of. 

Gifts like CD's of country Christmas music or subscriptions to Field and Stream (because his Uncle Les thinks he's outdoorsy, this one I can understand slightly since Jacob did want to be an adventurer but still). 

The only exceptions being:

 1. The key to the family four-year-old sedan, which Jacob is embarrassed to be receiving in front of Ricky (who Jacob hasn't talked to in a long while after a fight they had). 

And 

2. A camera Jacob had been wanting for ages (since last summer) from his parents….who likely only gifted it to him because of his dad's new book.

Which leads to his mom drunkeningly making front of her husband at her sixteen year old’s birthday party…. Real classy. 

Oh and 3. A book that belonged to Abe that Jacob's parental Aunt Susie snagged trom the house when they were cleaning it out. A book titled “The Selected Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson”. 

She gave this to him, saying it was from Abe because he'd written Jacob's name in it. 

Thoughtful right? 

Well everyone else doesn't think so because they go quiet. Jacob's mom, Maryann even while drunk, tries to say it was thoughtful and that she didn't know Abe was a reader.

Meanwhile Jacob's dad, Franklin, is barely hiding how pissed he is. 

Like dude. 

Dude. 

Do you really hate your own dad so much that you don't want your grieving son to have even just a book of poems that the only member of the family who he was close to left for him? Are you still, even after that disastrous day where you cleaned out the fucking house with him there and fought with him, refusing to let him have any ties left?

To be fair, you can say that this is because of his own history with Abe and that it's because Jacob is in a worrying state. But that doesn't really hold up considering that they let Abe babysit Jacob often and fill his head up with stories they thought he embellished  due to his own trauma and because they thought that Jacob was well enough to handle trashing and donating all of his dead grandpa’s stuff. 

Sure, they don't take the book from him but the fact Franklin can't even hide how pissed he is is shitty. 

That's not even considering this little tidbit here:

“My mother leaned toward me and in a tense whisper asked if I needed a drink of water, which was mom-speak for keep it together, people are staring.”

….

Do I even need to say anything?

The fact that Jacob thinks this probably means that his parents—or even just Maryann—have said this to him before. Frequently so, even. To the point where he's trying to escape the room, feeling like he might cry, and instead of thinking that his parents (or anyone in this family) might be able to potentially comfort him in this hard moment, this is what he's thinking. 

It's infuriating.

But not as infuriating as my last point for now!

3. Franklin sent his then fifteen year old son to deal with what he thought was his dementia ridden, war world 2 veteran father having a PTSD attack/episode. 

Franklin gets called when he's volunteering at a bird rescue in what is either early afternoon or night by his worried fifteen year old said who tells him that Abe called him ‘flipping out’. 

He asks if he's taken his pills today and Jacob tells him Abe wouldn't tell him. 

At this point, any reasonable adult would go and help their poor ailing father who may be having an episode or PTSD attack about the war, what happened to his family. The monsters. 

At this point, any reasonable adult would send their son home out of danger and call up a friend or sibling or in-law to go deal with the situation. 

What does Franklin do?

He sends his fifteen year old, who is at his job, to go check on Abe. Who again, Franklin thinks is having an episode. 

Now, even if there was a chance that Abe would still recognize Jacob and wouldn't be a danger to him, who would risk sending their son to check on an ailing relative by himself when there's every chance that when Jacob gets there he'll be having flashbacks to the horrors he witnessed. I mean, it's understandable if you or another adult is there and need help calming the man for you to maybe have your teenage son there. Especially if he may be caring for him one day out of choice.

But sending your fifteen year old there by himself to handle the situation when he probably won't know what to do and when he probably hasn't seen one before?

And doing that when you know that your dad was in a war and still has a sea of weapons hidden away behind lock and key (a key which you have) because you can't be half assed to tell the shelter your volunteering at that there's a family emergency?

Franklin literally sent Jacob into a traumatizing situation that could turn dangerous (for Abe or Jacob, if Abe didn't recognize his grandson) under the assumption that all of his paranoid dad's weapons are stored away. 

And what did Abe die with in his hand?

A box cutter. 

Which just proves that Abe had things lying around that he could use as a weapon if needed. Things he could improvise with. 

Just think for a moment about what could have wrong if Abe wasn't actually in danger from a wight but something he was actually imagining—a memory from his past. Imagine what could have happened to Jacob if Abe had mistaken him for a burglar or a wight or what Franklin thought he was imagining.

Jacob can't fight. 

It's dark. 

Things could easily go wrong.

And what would happen if they did?

Jacob would be hurt and traumatized or dead and Abe would likely be in a horrible place if he wasn't, all because Franklin didn't care enough about his dad to go check on him himself. Hell you can he didn't even care about Jacob enough here, because he didn't care about what Jacob could possibly see if he sent him to deal with his grandfather.

Like, not only is he being incredibly shitty to his son but to his own ailing father who was at the very least convinced he was in danger and who was actually in danger (for all Franklin knew his dad could have actually heard someone breaking in but he didn't even take the time to think about it). 

That's all I have time to write for today but there's several other things that they do that are pretty crappy where their son is involved that I will happily discuss.

Hope this doesn't disappoint, @kallmeweirdhprroe .

[allfattenedup]

Hey! I love your content so much!! I'm a skinny guy but I've always had the desire to be fat since I was little. Right now, I'm dating a feeder who wants to make me as fat as possible when I'm ready for it. Are you happier now that you're a fat guy? Don't you look at other fit guys on the street and feel regret for ruining your skinny body? For example, if I were fat and passed by a group of attractive, fit guys, I think I would get horny for not being like that anymore and would eat a lot of food after...maybe if I became fat and sloppy, I could be happier.

This is honestly a complex question for me to answer, and I've made an attempt a few times before to answer similar questions but I'll try again. It's important to me that I don't just blast out a blanket stance of 'yes you should get fat like I did!'. Spend enough time in the gaining community and intentionally putting on hundreds of pounds of fat starts to feel real normalized. And I'm not saying you shouldn't do that, but here's a few things I would say: My own personal kink revolves around fat and embarrassment. The worse I continue to look, the more mortified I am by my changing body, the more desperately I need it. So a lot of the time, yes I do regret doing this to myself, but that's where so much of the pleasure comes from. So it's hard for me to answer if I'm happier now or if I regret it. Every answer is both yes and no. And if your kink doesn't have the same component of shame then I'd say definitely don't take advice from me lol.

I'd also say never get fat for a feeder. I'm glad to hear you say they're waiting until you're ready, but don't let any pressure influence your decision of if/when that is. Make sure you know you'd want to get fat with them or without them. Again, we get a little blind to it in the gaining community but getting really fat, especially if you start off skinny, is a big deal. It changes a lot about the way you live your life, and it very well may be permanent. Yeah, you might go into it thinking 'if I don't like it I can just lose the weight', but don't assume that's true. It probably won't be. If you have a fat kink, gaining weight for the first time can be like a shark getting a taste of blood. It can unlock something which means you can never go back (speaking from experience). If you decide to gain weight, go into it knowing that you may never be able to lose it, and that you'd be alright if that happens. Also know that putting on weight can be incredibly addictive and you may go into it planning to gain ten pounds and wind up gaining a hundred or more. This kink is all-encompassing. You can't take it off when you're done, it affects every part of your lifestyle, people see it, and for all those reasons it can so easily become a rabbit hole. I actually love that about it, but you need to be real with yourself about whether that's something you're comfortable with. Everyone's experiences are gonna be different but what I'd boil it down to is this: If you're looking for an intense 24/7 experience that may get out of control and have no exit, then consider starting to put on weight. If you want to carefully explore a kink in a measured way and have certainty over the outcomes, then gaining isn't going to be a good idea.

[ceoofhelaegon]

What do you think of season 2? And what do you think of Helaena supporting Daemon? And Aegon who escaped without Jaehaera and Helaena...

One word? Shit.

God, the writing was atrocious and I am baffled that people got paid for this pile of shit.

The most horrific thing that happened in the history of Westeros, save for the sacking of Kingslanding with Elia Martell and the children was glossed over like it was nothing.

No one says Jaehaerys' name and in the show canon, we STILL haven't heard Jaehaera's name which is INSANE.

Alicent is a psychopath and a dumbass, can't believe they proved the patriarchy right by showing us that Alicent shouldn't have been Aegon's Regent, and that's saying something, considering that the current Regent tried to commit regicide.

And you can tell the writers don't know anything about medieval society because why the fuck was Alicent yapping about being "free" and "unnoticed" girl, you're the wife of a former King and the mother to another, these kind of words shouldn't even be allowed in her vocabulary.

And also, as @notbloodraven mentioned in her post, Alicent is condemning Helaena and Jaehaera into a life of poverty because they don't have any money nor lands to survive.

"We're leaving Kingslanding" TO WHERE?! Certainly not Oldtown after you sold out everyone, including the son that you were worried about not being kind.

I'm assuming Aegon leaving without Helaena and Jaehaera will be retconned, Larys will say something like: "She's safe in Storms End"

I don't think Helaena was supporting Daemon, more egging him on, kind of accelerationist on her part, you know? She was gloating about Aegon seeing victory so don't think that was her supporting him at all.

But who knows? Maybe she was, since the writing is so shit.

#freetheactorsofthisshit

[rainofaugustsith]

Feeling feels about the SWTOR "If you didn't log in, you're losing your name" bullshit. One thing, giving this only about a year's grace period is pretty sus IMHO especially when one considers the amount of disasters happening, longterm illness, deployments, wars, etc. happening. I feel like they should have given this a grace period of a bit longer.

Am I going to play SWTOR again? Not incredibly likely given that the way the story has gone since 6.0 - the Alliance Commander being reverted to a faction lackey with all progress completely lost - does not sit well with me. One of the reasons I have mostly fallen out of love with Star Wars is that unlike the first three OG films, it seems like a fucking hamster wheel nobody ever escapes. For millennia after millennia, the same exact bullshit, or variations thereof, with a very stark, narrow and dogmatic worldview and "this side evil! This side good" simplistic perspective that is entirely grating. They never learn. They never move on. Any of them. One of the reasons I loved SWTOR up through KOTET is that it seemed like they escaped that hamster wheel, that there were broadened perspectives and "gee, it looks like there are good and evil people everywhere in the galaxy, and maybe we shouldn't write off entire planets and spiritual expressions as evil, and how can we build bridges to go beyond what we have now?" sentiments and stories. And then they did the traitor arc and oops, here we are again on the same treadmill. Having said that I poured so many hours into Viri, and so many into my other alts there, and built up such a world for them, and spent so many hundreds of dollars on years of subscription, that their names mean something to me. I also worry that since I have the Rain Plays SWTOR page, which still does get read and referenced, that if someone sees a character running around with one of my names that does awful shit it will reverb back on me by name association. ...which is why I'm downloading a 51GB game so I can log in for two minutes to save Viri's names. I haven't even played since 7.0 drops so I assume I'm going to find her abilities bar gutted and also have to pick fighting styles for her (I don't give a damn; all my Jedi are getting the Sith equivalents and all my Sith are just getting whatever is the other DPS in their own home class). Ah well. Just dropping in to say hi, putting Viri and Lana back in their house if needed (the Alderaan stronghold has a tendency to not leave people where you put them) and dropping out again. But I feel like it might be nice to say hi to these two for a few minutes. This is where I left them.

[pacificwaternymph]

Aaaaand everyone give it up for WASTED POTENTIAL

Season finale spoilers under the cut

Okay. I'll be honest. The finale was... not what I was hoping for.

I tried so hard to remain optimistic. I truly believed they could pull it all together and everything was going to have a satisfying conclusion. But I guess that's my fault. I set my expectations too high.

Is this about Tech? Primarily, yes. Yes it was. I am so disappointed. And you can make fun of me all you want but I genuinely believed, with all my heart, that CX-2 was Tech.

BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK ELSE WAS THERE SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON HIM

There was so much to suggest that CX-2 was somebody we knew. We spent so much time on him, suffered through so many completely unnecessary, in hindsight, close up shots and random pieces of episodes that focus on him, only for him to get javelined through the middle in the span of half a second.

It feels like the writers were just making fun of the viewers, at this point. Haha, can you believe they actually thought?

Yes, we did think! Did you?

Tech's death was so... unconvincing. They didn't even try. Not only was his life "cut short" in the midst of his character development, said death was caused by falling, without any other kind of injury, while we watch him disappear into the clouds. And then we see no body and only have his broken goggles as "evidence" of his death. What the hell else were we supposed to assume?

That's not even bringing up that Tech gets maybe three mentions all throughout the entire season. The show never touches on how the death of one of their squadmates, people they have known since birth, affects the batch. Not once do they ever say out loud that Tech is dead until the fucking finale.

This isn't just me reading too closely between the lines. This is genuinely bad writing. It's loading chekhov's gun and then refusing to shoot it.

Even if CX-2 wasn't Tech, or even somebody we knew, the way he is treated suggests that he was supposed to be important. He was supposed to be be relevant. And now, he's neither!

Furthermore, where fuck was everybody? Where was Rex with the reinforcements to storm the base? Where was Wolffe deciding he didn't want anything to do with the Empire anymore? Where was Cody? Where was Phee in all of this?

Where was Cid? So we're just... not going to get any kind of closure for that? We spend two entire seasons with her, then she just betrays them and we never see her again? Even if they didn't redeem her, that feels like pretty damn bold move.

The Zillo beast does... barely anything. Really? It just breaks out and moves away from the biggest source of energy it will ever find after causing the slightest amount of property damage to two rooms, and storms off into the woods, and that's all we get? Seriously?

And then once we get to the time jump... Echo's gone. Again. Either still off with Rex, if he hasn't gone into hiding yet, or died off screen. Neither is a good nor satisfying ending for his character. But I guess shouldn't be surprised by that. When have the writers ever cared about Echo?

The biggest problem with the whole thing is that it didn't feel like a finale. It felt like a normal episode, just slightly longer. The Bad Batch returned to Pabu, because I guess there are no consequences from the Batch being discovered there before and the empire decided that they were just going to... leave it alone, and everything returns to the status quo. That's not what a finale does, Dave.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. There were parts that I enjoyed. I'm glad Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair got their happy endings. Seeing Omega all grown up really did something to my heart. But overall I am just so frustrated.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for crying and not bringing it up to my friends?

This may seem a little weird, but I honestly can't tell if I'm the asshole.

Background: I (23X) am very emotional. Sometimes I cry for no reason. I hate when people bring it up without me saying anything, because yeah, I know I'm crying and I'm trying to ignore it. I was over at my friend's place, D (22M) with our friend A (22X). Maybe important: A and I dated for almost 5 years and broke up this summer but stayed friends.

A was talking about gender and sexuality stuff, which I don't mind, and I started crying over nothing. It wasn't because of anything A said or did, it was late at night and I had been up for a while and was tired, and had to work early the next day. A noticed though, and said "you're crying". I yelled at them to not mention it (which I apologized for right afterwards, as i shouldn't have yelled. A accepted the apology.) But A kept bringing up how I was obviously crying for a reason, and we should talk about it. I said I didn't want to talk about it, because it was nothing, and if I did want to talk I would've brought attention to my tears. A left shortly after.

A day or so later, A messaged me on Discord. It was 2 and a half phone screens long. I just copied it into a document to see the word count and it was 661 words, all saying how it's not respectful of me to cry and not bring it up, and how A is upset that I think it's okay to cry and not have anyone mention it or expect that everyone will ignore a friend in distress. Note how A is not upset about me yelling.

I responded that I cry easily, and wasn't upset about anything, and if A really needs to feel better about when this happens, they can bring me a tissue and wait to see if I mention why I'm crying. If I say nothing, I would prefer it be ignored.

A responded a day later with another 805 words (almost 3 full phone screens) saying that they are uncomfortable just ignoring me when I'm crying, because it reminds them of childhood trauma, and requests I talk about what I'm feeling. They feel like they're being punished for asking if I'm okay. They keep projecting their own trauma onto me, and think I'm ignoring how I feel because of childhood neglect. They also said some stuff about how I'm disrespecting their boundaries by not discussing my needs with them. A also asked I apologize to D for making him feel uncomfortable, something D never told me about

I would like to remind you that I was crying because I was tired. There is nothing more to it than that. I told A that, but they think it's something they said and want to talk about it. I dont want to talk because there is nothing to talk about.

I sent back that they aren't respecting my boundaries when I ask them to ignore my crying unless I mention it. I again apologized for yelling, since that was really not fair. I finished with saying I have communicated my needs to them many times before, because this is not the first time we've had this discussion in the over 5 years we've known each other. I said A should work on their own problems instead of projecting them onto me, and to stop assuming I'm trying to hurt them by not talking about my feelings.

I did apologize to D, who said it's okay and was just upset he didn't notice me crying earlier (which is find because I was trying not to let either of them see).

It's been a day and A still hadn't responded

So AITA for not mentioning when I'm crying?

What are these acronyms?

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

Seeing the twitter dorks calling Jack out for "grooming" a minor is really annoying considering that I'm a grooming victim myself and I know for hell it ISN'T grooming Yippee-boi CW// Mentions of child grooming

It all started when Yippee shared a piece of fanart of Lucifer's oc, Idot-boy (who is a hypersexual sona like is meant to represent Jack's traumas just as his hypersexuality due to it's past experiences with SA and incest) so Yippee drew xe's hypersexual sona with it's sona.

I look at the image and yeah I can see where people got their "It's suggestive" from because Yippee's sona does look pretty suggestive but at the end of the day, it's just a sona that is use to cope with mental health just as hypersexuality.

And people are trying to use this comment as a catch 20 with Jack. Which, I don't see how that is grooming??? It's just

And then there's this (context: the person is Hyuuuuk who by judging from their profile, they happily call theirselves a huge Birdie hater which is pretty pathetic, oh and in the comment, they simply tell Jack to not talk to the minor and this was under this art which was posted before the hypersexual one).

People on twitter been using that comment as a "gotcha" but they don't actually do research and realize that "Hey, this comment is actually from the minor's different art piece NOT the other one" and maybe if they did, they would realize that Jack isn't being weird.

Like, maybe if Koish explain what the problem is Jack would understand because this isn't the first time where it didn't know he did something controversial until someone told him the problem.

But anyways, back on topic, the first screenshot is where Lucifer is simply complimenting the art featuring the two hypersexual sonas which yeah, like I said I can GET where you guys are coming from but again, Jack isn't being a groomer here or predatory. Is the comment weird? Yes, if people read it wrong and assume it's a suggestive comment somehow where to me, it's literally Jack saying that the art is "yummy" and then proceeding to type 'nom nom nom' jokingly eating it..

Now, this does not mean I won't call Jack out on one thing which is it shouldn't of spoken to a minor since the kid is like 15 and on Jack's tumblr's bio, it says 16+.

But I'm gonna give him the benefit of a doubt and assume that it thought it was fine since the minor was almost 16 which doesn't excuse it and I think that Lucifer should address it and that people need to stop calling it "grooming" or going on twitter comparing Jack's sexual assaulter to him which is....disgusting??? I myself am a victim of child grooming in the past and like I said, I know what is or isn't grooming and that wasn't child grooming because as Jack mentioned and the minor mentioned is that they both never dm'd or pm'd each other. Granted, they could both LYING about that but at the end of the day you have to just take their words for it unless someone comes out with evidence that yes, they were both in fact in dms and were both in fact being weird.

(Link to 15 yr old's response)

[lbibliophile-sw]

Proof of ID

Also on AO3 [710w] @ailesswhumptober - day 20: accidental de-aging, "I'm not qualified for this shit" @corrieweek - day 3: "you shouldn't be here"

Fox lets himself slump as he climbs into the covered Guard speeder, finally escaping the top-priority meeting on… whatever it was. Thorn and Thire were also there – a waste, of resources, honestly, thankfully Stone was able to escape – so they can catch him up on anything actually important. It’s not like the natborns listen to their advice half the time anyway.

“Hey Fox, are you ok? Only, you were quieter than usual in there.”

“’m fine, Thire. Just tired.”

And he is, down to his bones. The sort of tired that comes from a multi-day blackout mission that has him ‘waking up’ only to face the entirety of his usual gruelling double shift ahead of him. He wants nothing more than to collapse on his bunk for a solid six hours, but instead, he has meetings, and datawork backlog, and whatever else comes up… Just the mere thought is enough for him to remove his helmet and rub at his aching eyes.

“Trooper!” Fox stiffens reflexively at Thorn’s Command voice, despite having spent the past two years as the highest-ranked clone on-planet. “Why are you wearing Commander Fox’s armour?”

Fox blinks at him, struggling to push his sluggish brain into gear. Why… is he wearing… his armour? Because it’s his? And he’s on duty?

“Oh! Is Fox alright? I mean, obviously not, since he sent you in his place. But I’m assuming he’s with Zontal? Or wait, is he not all back yet after the blackout? It has been longer than usual so I guess that might be a struggle.”

What?

“I have to say, you did a pretty good job of copying his body language. Until you took the helmet off, I really did think that it was just Fox having an off day; most people wouldn’t have noticed anything at all! How would you feel about being on call for a repeat performance? Anything to get Fox to rest occasionally.”

“Thire!” Thorn finally forces his way through the babbling. “Just, shut up. And you’re going straight to bunk when we get back, your triple-shift is showing. Now, Trooper, sitrep. And your name.”

“Uh, Fox?” It shouldn’t sound like a question – his name is the one answer he does have right now – but shouldn’t they know it too?

“It’s ok, you don’t have to keep pretending here. We sweep the speeders for bugs, and we already know you’re covering for him, besides –”

“Thire, enough. Let the shiny speak.”

“I’m not a shiny.” Thorn snorts.

“Maybe not a shiny, then. But you still can’t be more than, what, eight? Nine at a stretch?”

“I’m thirteen. I’m Fox. And you’re being mean. If this is revenge for saving your shebs when you tried to block that Senator’s access because you thought she was her own daughter…”

“What did you just say? No, seriously, I made Fox swear to never tell anyone about that.”

“I keep telling you I am Fox. Why won’t you believe me?”

“Ok. Ok. So, not body doubles, but Force osik. Maybe.” Thorn rummages in his belt pouches as he mutters to himself, finally pulling out some sort of case with a bright metal finish. “Here. I’m having a hard time believing you, because this is what you look like right now.”

Fox takes the case, holding it up so the smooth surface shows his reflection. He twists it back and forwards just to make sure. He raises his free hand to trace the smooth skin of his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, watching the movement in the improvised mirror.

“Thorn. Thorn, someone stole my face.”

Thire reaches back to awkwardly pat him on the knee.

“Look on the bright side, at least you still have your helmet. You keep it on most of the time anyway.”

“But it was my face!”

“Alrighty,” Thorn interrupts the impeding meltdown. He is in a speeder with three-quarters of Coruscant Guard Command, he should not be having flashbacks to Kamino and cadet-duty. “I’m driving us back to base. Then you two are going to go to sleep, while I have an adult conversation with Zontal to try and figure this out. Any further discussion can wait until after those steps are completed. Got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“Yes Thorn.”

[wisheslost]

A most delightful first day.

Wherein you, a new nurse for the Fortress of Meropide, have quite the interesting meeting with the flirtatious Duke and Prison Warden, Wriothesley, only you find out much later he's the duke, and the interesting meeting unravels quickly into much more.

cws : fastburn? like the opposite of slowburn basically bc im impatient. violence, not described in detail but wriothesley gets injured pretty bad . if you find i should add more warnings please tell me

a/n : not beta read im sorry i abandoned this in the middle of writing then had the urge to come back. please tell me if theres any mistakes

wc : 3.2k

Now that all the trivial paperwork was out of the way and you were finally recognized as a nurse affiliated with the Fortress of Meropide, it was just the meeting with the Duke that was left. roaming around searching for him wasn't the best option— hell, it was probably the worst out of all of them. but what else were you supposed to do? ask someone? ...surely the Duke would send for you if you lingered here long enough no? but then again, you don't know what the duke was like, maybe he'd reprimand you for arriving late instead, so you thought to not take any risks, and simply ask the next person you see. it's your first day of work anyway, so it wouldn't be too bad to engage with people you'll be seeing on the daily now either.

Not soon after spotting a young man who seemed to have quite the height, a somewhat tan skin tone and seemed to be in possession of woah? a vision? in a place like this, was kind of a surprise to you. Nevertheless, you approached that man to ask of the duke's office, only for him to be the one to start conversation.

"Hey, you must be the new nurse, right? It's a pleasure to have you, I'm Wriothesley, D-"

"Could you please take me to the Duke 's office, wriothesley?" you didn't realise until it was too late that he was going to say something after,but since he didn't seem to mention it either, how about just move on?

A little chuckle managed to escape his lips, followed by a "Sure I can." to your question. On the way there to his office, he asked you an array of questions, like why you were here, what made you work here, yada yada, but most importantly, he said, "The Duke's honestly a menace. I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you." now, you won't lie to yourself, that did make you much more interested in that duke than you previously were.

And in no time did you reach the Duke's office. Wriothesley lead the way up the stairs of what seemed to be the most grand part of the fortress, asking if you want to have tea with him later after you're done talking to the duke, which you politely declined, not because you didn't like the man—he was quite fun, yes, but tea? that awfully bitter liquid isn't entering your body anytime soon. not with wriothesley, not even with the duke.

now here we are, up the stairs and finally near the, what you assumed to be, the Duke's desk. But the duke isn't there. on the desk nor anywhere near. up until Wriothesley sits down on his chair and speaks,

"Here is the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide,Wriothesley. Though i prefer if you called me 'Your Grace' instead, people here usually refer to me as such. Please, feel free to ask any questions you have, I have already asked mine."

Oh, OH—

"Oh sir i- Your Grace i am so very sorry!! Really i- That time.. I shouldn't have cut you off.. Again, im really sorry!"

While you're worried sick, Mister Wriothesley here, or rather His Grace, is laughing his ass off. Does he find joy seeing you like this? well, whatever. When his laughing fit finally ends, and he sighs "Oh dear", and hes now looking at you, waiting earnestly for you to speak and break the silence. Unfortunately for him.. you're far too indulged staring at that pretty face of his, not remembering you were just asked if you had any inquiries by him. and so his voice beams once more,

"So....? Any questions?"

"Oh. Sorry, I got distracted, wri- Your grace, I don't." you knew it was best to call him by what everyone else calls him by, but 'Wriothesley', though you spoke for very little time, just came out easier.

"Really? well, okay" his answer was quite non chalant, because obviously, why would he want to be asked questions anyway, but it didn't seem like him— "I'm honestly surprised you have nothing to ask about." and there it is.

"No really, I don't want to bother you anymore. I shall take my leave, Please, Have a good day your grace." you excused yourself out that awkward situation somehow, and soon after heard a faint "You're not a bother y'know!~" from his side.

Cut to 2 a.m. in the morning next day, and you're in the infirmary cleaning glass jars, while the Head Nurse is probably sleeping her time away in the overworld. Not that you were jealous, but really, no soul here gets injured that seriously *ever*,yet this one garde told you you still need to stay awake the whole night. However odd that was, it was definitely not odder than— you stopped thinking the instant you felt a pair of hands creeping up to your waist, scaring you into dropping that poor glass jar and shrieking for your life, only for the owner of those hands to shut you up with one of the very hands that was on your waist just a moment ago.

"Oh c'mon.. You're in a prison of all places. Should you not be the least bit aware of your surroundings? who knows what might happen any moment... I wouldn't like to lose my new nurse so quick." and detaching his hand from your mouth, not that that could garner a response from you... what did he mean by "his nurse" anyway ? was this an attempt at flirting ? whatever it was, it was not much of your concern right now, it was the fact his voice wasn't like the one you heard before on your way to the Duke's office, or even in there, instead now it had a fatigued intonation to it, a voice that practically screamed "i want to sleep.", almost... sultry in a way.

And so he sat down on one of the beds, taking you by the waist to sit down as well on the same while he made himself more comfortable and laid almost completely down, and spoke, "First day on the job and you're already breaking things and screaming in the middle of the night.. are you really fit for a prison?"

Obviously, you were not fully capable, definitely not as capable as Sigewinne, but still,having someone say something like that directly is quite discouraging. and so you retorted, "Your Grace, it is actually my 2nd day on the job. And also, i feel anyone, prison premise or not, would be scared to be suddenly caressed by cold hands at 2 in the night. Though mayhaps that's just my opinion."

"Ahh dear, you're so smart .. it's a shame i was merely joking, I know the fortress is not such a prison-ly place anyway, and most if not everyone is just trying to get by and make it to the end of their sentence peacefully. I was merely testing you." to which you only nodded, and spoke "Sure. Well.. why are you in here at such a late time anyway? From the looks of it you're not sick, and i dont see any injuries..."

"You want me sick and injured? aw c'mooon, dear, im not even that bad of a duke, am i?"

"Your grace, please don't be silly. Are you here because you feel sick or just to bother me?"

"Ha! after i said you weren't a bother! how disheartening... I was just curious why you were awake this time of the night, though. What's keeping you up so late? or should i say Who?"

"Am i not supposed to be?"

"Of course not dear, did someone tell you you do?"

"Ah.. uhm. Not really, just a mistake on my part.."

"Hm? One of the gardes didn't tell you your duty requires you to stay up all night?"

How he came to know about that was none of your concern right now, what he'd do about it mattered more. You didn't want some helpless garde to be scolded off by The Duke because you were stupid enough to believe him. Surely that's not going to make the people of meropide have a good impression of you? Amidst your train of thought, his voice interrupted—

"What? Don't want a garde scolded off because you believe it'll harm that reputation of yours? awh dear, how cute. just like your face." this nuisance of a man and his attempt at flirting was somehow worse than his constant teasing, and the fact he accurately guessed what you were thinking was completely overshadowed by that "dear" and "cute" he threw in in his sentence.

"Too flattered?" was his response to your speechlessness. Being honest, you were too flattered. I doubt even archons know why this man was so coyly talking to you, did he do this to everyone?

"I... am not sure how to respond to that." was all you could manage to put together in your flustered, confused, but flustered state.

"I can stop it, y'know. If you're not feeling comfortable, just tell me. Whether that be with my way of talking, or someone else's."

"No it's fine.. really- I don't have any problems."

"Oh? So you're enjoying this? Haha, didn't know i had such charm." saying this, he rose up he was laying on, to come face to face with you, still sitting on the bed, but now, his face a bit too close to yours.

"I'll stop bothering you now. Go to sleep, you're gonna need to stay awake tomorrow."

You didn't make much of that statement, and you simply bid him sweet dreams as he went off to, what you presume, to be his office. That is, until, tomorrow actually came by, and near evening, you were greeted by none other than The Duke himself leaning on the doorframe of the infirmary, who, instead of his usual state, was now in a much more... uh, ragged? state. His vest not even present, and half his shirt ripped away, with his fresh wounds on display along with his old scars. Ah.... and you thought the Pankration Ring didn't allow such incidents to take place. So that's why he told you you need to stay awake.

"Dear, I'm here again to bother you." came in his voice from the door, and you stood up in concern. As far as you were aware of, Pankration ring fights were not supposed to get this serious. So it was either outside of the ring, or maybe the duke was allowed to get more serious in the Pankration ring? That became less of your concern as you saw a drop of blood drip down his cheek from a fresh wound. Gods, he was in such a pathetic state, blood everywhere, vest barely intact.. "Hey, its not appropriate to stare at someone in this state, is it?" he said, making you suddenly aware to what you should be doing. You're a nurse here, you should be patching him up, not staring into his soul while he's standing there in pain. "Your grace- I- Please, come with me to the bed. Do you want help walking? Oh lord why am i asking- Forgive me, I'm so sorry-" and a chain of sorries followed as you wrapped your arm around his waist in your best attempt to provide support to his frame, as you walked over to the nearest bed in the infirmary with Wriothesley's arm on your shoulder, grabbing it for support, though maybe a bit too hard, you were sure, this would at the least leave a bruise.

Arriving to the bed, you sat him down and knelt down to take a few things out from a nearby drawer, bandage, antiseptic disinfectant and a pair of scissors. And Wriothesley had his eyes set on your figure the entire time, not that you had noticed.

When you came back to him, you had to get him to undress in order for you to wash away his wounds, and before you could think to form an appropriate sentence regarding that- your tongue had already mumbled out "Please undress." to that poor duke. Oh lord, this was going to be a long, looong day.

A smirk crept up Wriothesley's face as he looked up at you, "Dear, I'm not sure I can... 'tleast not in this state. Would you help me?" and so his sly little smile shifted to a more puppy eyed face, glancing at you oh so sweetly. "Yes, Your grace." and you started by first taking his tie off, "I'm being honest here, I'm not sure why i said that earlier. I apologise. It was definitely very.. stupid of me." were the words you spoke as you were unbuttoning his shirt— the last piece of clothing left. His vest was mostly torn apart, so you didn't need to unbutton it or even put much effort in taking it off. Wriothesley didn't respond to that. You knew, it was because you were right, he didn't say anything because it would make you feel worse, but silently, surely, he agreed. Or atleast that's what you thought. Now here he sat, his upper body completely rid of any clothing, the cold air hitting his wounds.

"I'll wash your wounds now." as you went back and forth between the infirmary's bathroom to get water, the process was a bit slower than should be.

"Shouldn't you take me to the bathroom? Would be faster, no?"

"It would, yes. But it would mean you would have to go there, you wouldn't like sitting on that tiny ass- I mean, very small stool in the bathroom, trust me. Would just be uncomfortable."

"Awh. Didn't know my nurse was so, so nice. Thank you dear."

You finally washed what seemed to be the last wound, and god was it big. On your way back to him from the bathroom, you thought you would finally ask, "By the way, Your grace... I've been meaning to ask— What's with the 'my nurse' ? I'm not only your nurse, you know. I am to tend to any person in this fortress." was the best you could express your curiosity as you applied antiseptic on his wounds, recieving a little wince from him along with the answer to your question, "Well- I said that only because you were taking care of me at that moment, so you'd be my nurse then, no?"

"That is true, yes, but then what about before that? Last night? And also, the use of 'dear', to my knowledge, you don't seem to use that language or rather i should say- that word for anyone around here. Unless of course I'd be wrong and would stand corrected."

"Oh you... I'll stop, if you wish. You could have told me before‐"

"No, no. I don't mind it at all. Just want to know. Do those words hold any weight to you or are you simply throwing them around?" you said as you took the bandage out it's paper packaging, rolling it around his wound, making him wince once more, this time squeezing your right thigh out of the urge to hold on to something.

"Fuck, Sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" was all he could manage to put together, and when you took his hand in yours to put it back on your right thigh, Lord, his expression was something to see. The way he looked at you so surprised yet so... lovingly? surely, not loving. But whatever it was, it was nice, to see him so in awe. You continued dressing his wounds as he stared at your face the whole time, and, from time to time, squeezed your thigh a bit. Not sure if it was from the pain, or just because he wanted to and could.

Done with dressing the last wound on his cheek, you got up and headed to a cabinet on the opposite side of the room. "That's all. I'll get you some pain relief medication for the internal bruising, just wait a bit. it's.. it's in here somewhere.." as you searched around the cabinet. "Ah! Here!"

You took the medication to Wriothesley, who was currently sitting upright on the bed, carrying along a glass of water. As you had poured the water in the glass, you heard him say something along the lines of "Don't break it again." with a light chuckle.

As you gave him his medicine and he swallowed it down, that was the last of your duties for now. "Anything else you want me to do?"

"Sit. Here" he said, patting on the space near him as he laid down on the bed. And so you sat, who were you to deny such a simple request?

It was pin drop silence for a while after that. Just you and him looking at each other. Well, up until he averted his gaze to your thigh, where you noticed his hand hovering over it. "May i .....?" and so you took his hand in yours, and it rested on your thigh.

Then you realized, he was on his side to face you, though he shouldn't be, one of his injuries was there, quite the big one at that, and it probably hurt like hell. "I don't think you should lie on your side. Your wound.. is it not paining?" He got up then, sitting upright, though now, your faces were a bit too close, and your noses touching slightly."Then, dear, do you want me to sit like this?" You were too flustered to manage a response for that. Both of your faces were so close– too close, actually that you could feel his warm breath, that, by the way, smelled of Earl Grey Tea, and that scent seemed to mix with the antiseptic's.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" You somehow couldn't reply to that either, and only stared into his eyes, and occasionally catch a glance at his lips.

"Can't speak already huh? I haven't even kissed you yet."

"K-kiss me??"

"Sure." and so he leans in, planting in a peck on your lips and caressing your chin with, what was currently, his good hand, as in it had way less injuries than the other.

"Satisfactory?" was all he asked, that smirk back on his face, and "Not.. really" in a low voice was all you could manage after that.

"Then show me what would be more satisfactory."

"This." and what followed was by far the boldest you had ever been in your life, and good lord, it was infront of- not even infront of, to your new, and well, the only boss you've had.

But damn did his lips on yours feel so good, and his slight biting, his hand tugging at your nape made you feel like you were dreaming. Unfortunately though, even dreams come to end.

When your lips separated, he was a exhilarated but exhausted mess, his chest heaving as his fought to breathe, and so were you, and all you both could do was stare at each other, until he leaned in once again to kiss you. This time, in a satisfactory way.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, for you two, this was about to escalate much further than just that satisfaction.

[happiest-hotch]

3 AM

part one

Summary: Aaron shows up somewhere he shouldn't be with some words for you

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Angst/Fluff)

Word Count: 1.4k

Content Warning: mutual cheating

You go home to a house that doesn't feel like home, which isn't anything new, but today, it upsets you. Maybe it's too late, and the case drained you too much. Your self-preservation instincts refuse you to consider an outside factor.

Thankfully, your need for sleep trumps any chance of facing an existential crisis, so instead of staring at the ceiling wondering how your life got to this point, you're asleep almost as soon as your head hits the pillow.

It doesn't last long. Too soon, a knock on your door wakes you, and you reach for your phone to check the time. 2:52- great. If it were BAU-related, Penelope would have called and left messages before pounding on your door in the early morning. You run through who it could be. Maybe your pathetic excuse of a husband lost his keys, but nothing would inspire him to come home unless he learned of your affair and was hypocritically mad. Or it could be much more mundane; police, firefighters, a neighbor. 

Speculation gets too exhausting, so you get up and walk to the front door, checking your gun is sitting on the side table before opening the door.

It's one of the last people you expect. You wrap your robe tighter around yourself, defensive and hyper-aware that he's in jeans and a shirt, and you're in a tank and sleeping shorts. 

"Hotch." You greet him coldly, colder than the chilly DC night air. 

He didn't expect a more positive reaction. "Don't call me that." He says slightly too pathetically. 

"What can I do for you?" You ask, unsure what's compelling you to continue the conversation and not just slam the door in his face.

He shouldn't be here.

He knows it, you know he knows it, and you know it.

"Let me in." The Unit Chief tone, commanding authority, is nowhere to be heard, no matter how hard he tries to muster it up.

You sigh, momentarily weighing the pros and cons before stepping aside. Aaron follows you in carefully. Houses, thus far, have been off limits, like there was some unwritten rule neither of you would show up at the other places, knowing the consequences, but he's here, and you're still not sure why.

As you lead him down the hallway, Aaron keeps his head down, obviously trying to avoid being nosey. It's amusing since the personal pieces he assumes you have and refuses to look at don't exist. You wonder if he's drawing similarities between you and where you live, both beautiful on the outside and empty on the inside.

"Is he-" His question quickly gets reframed. "Are you alone?"

"I was." You answer. "He's in Pierre, South Dakota."

"Our case was in Pierre, Sou- Oh." Unsurprisingly, he put it together quickly. Pierre, South Dakota, is not a big enough place for you not to have run into your husband.

You laugh humorlessly. "I know. It's smart to have an infallible lie, but maybe not that specific." You remark. "He's actually in Miami. I checked the credit card and told him our case was there, so he always has to look over his shoulder."

Aaron doesn't smirk at what you consider a wonderfully devious plan. Instead, he looks concerned. "You still have joint credit cards? Are you keeping any money he can't touch?"

"Surely you didn't come here to discuss my financials." You shoot back, but he raises his eyebrows, and you know you can't progress the conversation without answering his question. "Yes. I've been to a lawyer and an accountant. He's only running himself into massive amounts of debt." You assure him. "Although, I'm not sure when this became your business."

His answer doesn't come quickly, and when he speaks, it's inadequate. "It's not."

"Okay, so what are you doing here?" You prompt. "Because you look like hell, Aaron, and you could really do with some sleep."

"I went home and sat there for an hour just thinking." He tells you. So, he didn't get lucky enough to fall asleep and avoid dreadful spiraling thoughts.

"You want to talk about your feelings?" You ask incredulously, unsure how he conjured the audacity to come here. His lack of answer is an answer. "No." You shake your head firmly. "You don't get to do this. Whatever we are, we don't discuss feelings."

"We could," Aaron begs desperately. It's not hard to profile that he keeps his emotions bottled up until he's bursting, so you know Aaron's here for a different type of release, for you to drain yourself listening to his problems and leave before he can consider that you have feelings.

You could hit him hard enough that he stops talking, and it's tempting.

"I'm okay with running to you when you want to have sex, but I can't be who you run to when you want to talk to someone about your day." You explain it as simple as you possibly can. 

"I don't think of you like that," Aaron assures you, his eyes softening as his words fall short of being stern.

Frustrated, you huff. You're tired and wound up, easily upset, and Aaron shouldn't be here. "Well, I have to think of you like that... or I can't sleep with you and not feel anything."

"You're not hearing me." He argues, a tiny flicker of the fire you saw before appearing in his eyes. "I want you to feel things."

You bit down on your bottom lip to avoid crying. You've become so callous to everything around you, bottled so much of it up that it's difficult to let any emotion show without breaking the floodgate. 

"You don't." You fight back, although it comes off far weaker than you expected. "I'm messy, my whole life is just one disaster after another, and I'll never excite you if we're not sneaking around."

Aaron's hands come to cup your cheeks, surprising you completely. It's a soft touch that has your lips closed in a second. "Don't say that." He instructs, speaking firmly but gently. "You're not a mess, not at all."

"Look at where we are, Aaron!" You remind him, throwing your arm at your side. For a detail-orientated person, he's only focusing on the big picture. "I'm married, you're married, and this is so damn messy."

"I know, I know." He nods. "It's... less than ideal, but we can get through it." He promises, holding you tighter now, like he's worried you'll slip away. "I want to be there for you. I don't care about any mistakes from your past. And please, please don't say that you won't excite me because I will always be excited every time I see you." It's enough to have you in gentle tears, not angry, heavy sobs, and he does his best to wipe them up delicately. "But if you don't feel the same way..." 

Aaron's waiting for your decision, and he isn't about to add more pressure, but he will stand there for as long as you need to decide. 

"I do." You affirm. "God, Aaron, I want to be with you more than anything, but I'm not sure I know how to." Being married is just a technicality now, and a divorce is something you're fiscally ready to do now. 

"Tea." He decides, his permanently furrowed brows relaxing. 

"Tea?" You repeat. 

He moves slightly away from you. "Where's the kitchen?" You're still confused about why now is the right time for tea, so you wait for him to explain. "I'm going to make you tea, and we're going to drink it while you tell me how you're feeling, and then whatever you want- a drive, breakfast, you name it, it's yours."

You pull away from him, offering your hand to take him to the kitchen. "Sleep is what we're doing after this." You tell him. "I don't say it to be mean, but you do look like hell."

"Wait." He stops you before you're in the kitchen, turning to hold your hands in his. "You need to know that I don't care about anything in your distant or soon-to-be past, but it's always going to be my privilege to be part of your future."

Aaron isn't meant to be here, and you aren't either, but wherever you're meant to be, it's with him.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

Honestly when those terfs were jumping on me and misgendering me and accusing me of being a sexual predator, the thing that actually most upset me was when one of them called me a "pompous pseudointellectual" for using the phrase "analogous maxim".

I could poke fun like "oh you use a word longer than six letters online and silly people think that you're an incomprehensible try hard because they can't read", but I think it gets at something that annoys me about how people treat language use online. There's a lot of good discussion pointing out that casual/non-formal styles of English are just as valid and can be used to communicate good ideas, and that people shouldn't be shunned for using them in their own space.

But I feel like a lot of people have missed the point in that discourse, which is that any manner of speaking is equally valid and okay and should not be dismissed as "cringe". I do sometimes speak in a slightly, I don't know, unusual(?) way, and that is because these are my own darned posts, and I sometimes like having fun with language that feels nice in my brain, or else I'll use a specific uncommon phrasing because I genuinely think it most accurately encapsulates what I'm trying to say. Does that mean I'm self important and think I'm somehow smarter than other people, and am using language to signal that? Like, no. It's just how I like to speak, and the same goes for other people who have far more exaggerated speaking styles than I've ever used.

People should be allowed to talk however the heck they like without being jumped on for it because people are projecting their own assumptions or insecurities. This goes for people speaking in more verbose styles as well as less verbose ones. Somehow people have managed to misinterpret "don't judge people for how they speak" to mean "speaking casually good, speaking formally Bad and Stuck-up and Obnoxious Male Coded" (yes, really, that last one is bizarrely common). And that sucks, especially since speaking in an "unusual" manner can be a neurodivergent trait, in a manner that some people can't so easily suppress, and so by stigmatizing it people enable a form of ableism.

Maybe assume good faith instead of assuming that someone is being condescending to you because of the way they speak. Wait until they actually condescend, until then that's just your own insecurity you're taking out on them.

[porcelain-gal]

SHIFTING AND MY CONNECTION TO MY GENDER & SEXUALITY

since i like airing out my business for no reason, allow me to share another reason why i want to shift. this time, its a lot more personal and something i'm pretty shy and kinda still struggling to get comfortable talking about.

all my life i have struggled with these things, even now. i grew up in a mostly anti-lgbtq+ family and while my parents and other family members are doing their best to be more acceptive of the community since i do have a brother who is gay and i myself am queer, they still express these prejudice views at times. this isn't to say that they haven't come far because boy, they have come VERY far but it still hurts to know that they would probably never fully accept me in this reality.

aside from that, i have always had trouble with trying to find who i am and what labels i am comfortable with. my sexuality and gender have always jumped all over the place since i was in elementary school. i always knew i liked girls and guys and all of the above but my preference would keep changing and sometimes i'd lose all attraction to a certain gender for a bit before it would just come back full force.

as for my gender, i feel like it had something to do with me growing up around boys so much since i have majority brothers and the fact that being a young chubby black girl means that i always had my femininity doubted and denied by others. i jumped from being a girl to being a trans man to being non-binary and now i'm genderfluid since i just can't pick something to stick with.

i have issues with my gender since i struggle so much with both the feminine and masculine parts of me. i love being a girl and enjoy feminine things and other girls but i never feel fully connected because i was CONSTANTLY told by people that i looked like a boy, acted like a boy, etc. but i also doubt my masculinity because while i do have a connection to it, my internalized dislike for men due to built-up trauma and the fact i'm not percieved as masculine enough to be able to pass as a man in any capacity makes me bitter and upset.

i feel like i can't be a man here because no one would ever look at me and accept me as one. i'm not masculine enough to be liked by other boys or included by them. hell, nobody even uses masculine pronouns or terms for me simply because i look like a girl or am just assumed to be one bcuz of the way i just exist as a person so they will just automatically do that despite me asking for people to do otherwise.

but the thing is, i don't want to fit in a box and i realize i never wanted to. i just want to be me. i want to be comfortable with being any gender. i want to be able to love and be attracted to all genders equally all of the time without it fluctuating constantly. i want to be able to go on shopping and throw sleepovers with my girl friends. i want to go to arcades and play pinball for hours with my guy friends. i want to go to random pottery classes and make cool cups with my non-binary friends. i want to be and love everything.

and i know that maybe i shouldn't care. maybe i should give it time. i mean, i'm only about to be sixteen but why should i if i don't have to? when i discovered shifting and figured out that i could be who i wanted to be, i nearly cried tears of joy. because now i can do these things and allow myself to do them without judgement. i can be a boy and a girl and non-binary. i can comfortably fit into all categories without feeling like i'm not enough.

i can use all pronouns without feeling like i'm restricted to specific ones. i can have a concrete sexuality that i'm comfortable with. i can call myself whatever the hell i want and actually believe it and feel comfortable. i can be myself. and this is a big reason why i shift.

shifting opens up so many possibilities for me that i never thought i'd be able to have and it just makes me so happy that its damn near overwhelming. knowing that i could have everything i want just. now i'm about to cry, let me shut up. but anyways thank y'all for reading this and to anyone who relates, know you're not alone and i'm here for you! <3

[bitletsanddrabbles]

But What If I Wasn't Rich?

Right. So. With revisions on Stolen Child going well, I've tried to start gearing up for my next big project, which is what I'd planned on working on this month. It's a very different tone - lots of zany hijinks with a group of idiots going through the jungles of India looking for biologically impossible flora - so I figured it shouldn't need too much in the way of research, especially since I'm avoiding politics like the plague. Don't know how much I'll manage, mind, since the only reason I can think of for Thomas's cousin to be in Bombay is military, but I'm pretty confident I can just say that and let my historically well informed audience fill in their own blanks while I concentrate on more important things, like cobras that spit hydrochloride acid at people*.

For all of that, though, I am having problems right off the bat with the research. Why? Because I need to get a disgraced-with-no-reference Thomas from Downton Abbey to Bombay, and I need to do it via a land route (or mostly at any rate), because he needs to start the whole thing off by crashing into someone in a train station. I suppose it could technically be at a port, but the train station just seems more likely given that the person in question is trying to get to the Congo.

This should not be difficult to figure out, right? A couple of Google** searches and you're done.

Well, not so much. When I search for how to get from England to India in 1920, the search engines seem to think I'm curious about immigration in the late 1800s. The closest I've come is an article that outlines the sea route around Cape Horn that was utilized the early 1900s...and stops there.

There was one (1) Reddit thread that popped up from someone with a similar problem who had the route mostly mapped but was just missing a bit in the middle. It started with the Orient Express.

Okay! Time to look up the Orient Express! And we get...

An absolute ton of information on the very big, very famous luxury liner of trains! Yes'sir, the Orient Express got you from Paris to Istanbul in style like you wouldn't believe! All of the rich people were lining up to bask in the lap of luxury as they made this cross land trip!

...

...which was probably beyond the budget of a newly sacked valet...

Pretty certain.

So we start looking for other ways to get from Paris to Istanbul in 1920 and apparently you could...walk? Or something? Maybe hitch hike?

Yeah, there's nothing. I can not come up with a search that does not tell me about the Orient Express, but unless Thomas ties himself to the roof, I don't see him getting aboard that one.

So! Are there any travel experts out there who have insight? Or people who have faced this issue in their fanfiction? Researchers with a hyper fixation on Agatha Christie? Banana cream pie? I'm kinda hungry, I could go in for some banana cream pie.

Heck, I'd settle for a less politically volatile reason for Thomas's cousin to be in residence, although I'm going to have to at least touch on the BEF*** for plot reasons.

*our fauna is as biologically impossible as our fauna

**or, well, Duckduckgo, but that doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely

***at least I assume that's who was stationed there. Again really, really not interested in politics. At all. Ever. Plague on the planet.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

When my wife and I first started fucking dating, we had a shorthand phrase we would exchange when someone was being...some kind of way about gender and sex and sexuality...to sort of indicate to each other what we thought was happening.

"I see we've decided to round to the nearest dick."

See, wifey and I are both trans and bisexual in REALLY similar ways, but with different AGABs right? And we noticed with time that interesting trends showed up. For me, people, even those who know I'm bisexual, treat me like they would treat me as a straight person in their life. Wifey often gets treated like loved ones treat exclusively gay people. Then with gender it's similar! People assume I *don't* have a dick and so they treat me like they would treat [failed] women in their lives. They assume Wifey DOES have a dick and treat her like they would treat a [failed] man in their life. Even beyond that, when wifey and I are TOGETHER, we are automatically defaulted into the "straight" category or the "gay" category depending on which of us (how many of us) they are assuming has a dick, and then defers authority in the relationship to whoever they think has the dick.

It's all gender essentialism all the way down, and interrelated essentialism across the whole spectrum, butit shows up in different ways depending on how people perceive our relationship to our genetalia

And it IS about our genetalia because it almost always gets explicit about it at some point.

I think what I've always found the most interesting is how other queer and trans folks interact with the concept of rounding to the nearest dick, including how we as a community wield it against each other laterally. The experience of being called "basically a woman" by lesbian partners in order to reconcile their discomfort with my gender (as distinct from lesbian partners whose reconciliation of my gender with their sexuality involved calling THEMSELVES "basically alesbian" or some similar iteration that emphasized the importance/meaning of THEIR identity WITHOUT commenting on my own) while Wifey gets treated like "basically a man" because of how race, gender, and sexuality intersect for her. The experience of being told I am excempt from certain realities not based on ACTUAL lack of the experience but based on a feeling of ownership people believe they have over how those experiences may manifest in the world, like when someone says "well trans men aren't oppressed anymore" so I shouldn't take up space in women's communities, men's communities, OR trans-general communities. Or like when someone told wifey that gay men haven't been oppressed since same sex marriage.

Like A) you're simply fucking wrong, and B) even if you were RIGHT, I'm NOT a trans man and my wife ISN'T a gay man. So why would that mean anything about us?

Part of what we both noticed is that the function of "rounding to the nearest dick" is usually about silencing or side-lining someone. WHO exactly is relational and context dependent, but essentially it boils down to "I need one of us to be explicitly less empowered than the other of us to feel safe navigating our interaction"

Sometimes it's preferrable to BE the disempowered (e.g. justification of horizontal hostility) and others to be the disempowerING (e.g. gatekeeping access to socio-economic resources) but in either case, we explicitly see gender wielded asymmetrically and selectively to create and redirect power. Not as something intrinsic to a person or within their control. And I think it's interesting as a trans person to experience gender explicitly as power even when, for me, that's never what it's been. It's interesting to see how people engage with that power when THEY don't usually experience it that way.

Anyway, rounding to the nearest dick is something I think we should all avoid, in part because maybe we should stop focusing in so much on people's gender and sexuality having ANYTHING intrinsic/inherent to them, as opposed to a layer of context within the wholeness of their lives