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bumblebeehug · 3 months ago

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Lovely Seasons - Winter

Summary: Lucy has the worst morning known to human kind, until Natsu comes to her rescue. Notes: If you're wondering where Happy is during all of this, no you don't. Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 of the Lovely Seasons series Ao3

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Lucy slowly sat up, blinking and rubbing out the crust that had appeared in her eyes during the night. A tired yawn managed to escape her lips before she could check the clock. 7:30 in the morning. She groaned to herself. She fell asleep late last night, not being able to drop the book she was reading, and barely getting 6 hours of sleep made her feel cranky. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the sun wouldn’t rise in another two hours and the temperature outside made her house feel colder than usual. It was an abnormally cold winter, rarely rising above -10 degrees Celsius, and due to her not paying enough rent last month, the landlady had cut down on her heating. Usually that would be fine, since Magnolia’s weather was quite warm most of the time, but without the blessings of a merciful winter and without her human heater constantly hanging around, the apartment got ruthlessly cold.

In an attempt to properly wake up she placed her bare feet on the floor. Leaving the warm comfort of her bed was unappealing to say the least, and feeling the coldness against the soles of her feet made her cringe. Without bothering to put on slippers or socks, she hurried to the bathroom. A warm, long shower was the only salvation this morning could have. As she entered the bathroom she once again regretted the lack of socks, since the tiled floor was multiple times colder than the wooden floor in her bedroom. With goosebumps all over her body she sped up her movements, turning the knob in her shower to the highest heat.

Another mistake, she soon learned. After having stripped down she felt the water with her hand, and the dropping temperature of the high streaming water only meant one thing - the hot water had run out, rapidly changing to cooler and cooler degrees.

“No, no, no!” In an attempt to savour the last bit of barely comfortable water, she immediately jumped in the shower, focusing on just wetting her hair so she could pour shampoo into it and rinse it out before she turned to an actual ice block. No matter if this day seemed to have everything against her, she was determined to get clean - even if that meant cutting down her shower time from 45 minutes to 5. Every muscle got stiff as she hurried to lather her hair, and breathing became a chore for her frozen body. Even concentrating to the fullest, she felt the lungs move in spasms.

Lucy had never been good with the cold. Not even after living on the streets for a year after running away from home, had she gotten used to the fierce sensation of getting robbed off her body heat. On the other hand, warm weather had never been a challenge. Anywhere with a hot climate was the ideal vacation spot for her, since she’d much rather sweat like a pig than not being able to feel her hands and feet from being so cold. Maybe her body’s natural agreement with warmth was one of the reasons she and Natsu got along so well. Though, given that he wasn’t here to heat up the apartment at the moment, he wasn’t on her best side currently.

As soon as she felt the lathered shampoo leave her hair completely, she turned off the tap and practically pounced her fluffy towels. From the last few weeks she had learned that any body part left wet would be freezing cold if she didn’t wipe herself dry the second she came out of the shower. She was in fact so fast at drying herself off and getting clothed today that she probably beat a personal record - and luckily for her, she could still use her hair dryer, so no cold, wet, dripping down her back today.

Though, just as things were starting to look up, she encountered yet another problem as she stepped out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. The dishwasher hadn’t gotten turned on last night, so she had to hand wash her cup before using it, which usually was a manageable job, but that became tedious now that she had no warm water. To add to that, she was fully out of oatmeal which meant that she’d have to go out to buy more when the stores opened in a few hours. Even if she didn’t have to plough through snow, the strong winds and the frosty air was more than enough to go through even her thickest, warmest jacket, and if she were to actually arrive at the market, there was no telling if they’d be open today. A lot of fresh fruit didn’t handle the cold well, and anything tightly sealed into glass bottles would likely expand and explode if they didn’t stay inside.

Since Lucy had nowhere close to enough energy to deal with that now, she decided to grab her kettle, make it across the kitchen towards the stove, and OUCH!

“Shit, crap, fucking ass- fuckhorse!!” Lucy howled as she jumped around on one leg, trying to get her big toe on her second leg to stop pulsing. “There’s no fucking way this is happening to me today!” She stumbled across the room once again, this time aiming for the kitchen table so she could sit down and inspect the injury. The kettle was forgotten the second she put it down, and she immediately threw off her slipper and her sock that she had properly remembered to put on after the shower..

Just her luck. She was bleeding under her toenail, which meant weeks of taking care of this insignificant but maddening injury. Wendy was about as locked inside as Lucy was, so no magical cure for this one. At this point she was holding back tears. Nothing could have prepared her for how unlucky she was today. Yesterday had been a good day, same as most of her previous days, where she enjoyed the stillness of being alone with her own thoughts in her apartment. No jobs or missions to rush to, no worrying about destruction and lack of payment, no Natsu to burn her couch and no Happy to scratch her walls. She ate good meals, played music and danced, and now this - no heat, no warm water, no clean dishes, out of her favourite breakfast and now an injured toe. It felt like the spirits were against her. The mixture of exasperation and exhaustion made her throat thicken, and the pressure from holding back tears made her head hurt. It was still early in the morning, and she already wanted to go back to bed and sleep until the next day - or better, she could sleep until spring and skip the depressing gray life that came with the winter months.

As Lucy’s nose started getting stuffy, an angel sailed down from heaven and sang the most beautiful melody known to the human race. Well, no, her doorbell rang, but it was practically the same thing, because she sensed from the reckless stomping up the hallway that her hot headed best friend had decided to come to visit.

“Lucy? Ya home?” Normally his cheery voice would feel like a punch to the gut after having a bad day, since any sign that people could live happily while bad things happened only to her, would feel like mockery. Today however, she was just glad to no longer be alone with this dull atmosphere dragging her down.

She hurried to the door, not without limping a bit, to unlock it for him. As the door swung open, Lucy couldn’t stop her lip from quivering, threatening to burst out into tears just from seeing his face. She was so, so, happy he was here.

Natsu himself however felt his grin fade the moment their eyes met.

“Hey, what’s the matter? Did anything happen? What’s goin’ on?” Lucy barely noticed him dropping off two grocery bags by the entry, before he gently grabbed her arms. The tender look in his eyes was the final blow for her - she felt so angry and sad at the world, yet she had never felt so seen and cared for as she did when Natsu came. The dam was broken and the waterfalls were set loose, and she was hiccuping and hulking like a child failing to communicate its emotions.

“My… my…” she began, “My toe huuurts” She couldn’t stop herself from crying out, unable to form any other words to explain her out of place behaviour.

“What?”

“My- my- my thoe-” With sobs cracking through her voice it was hard to talk any clearer, but luckily for her she didn’t have to explain any further.

“Oh my god- Lucy, you’re bleeding! Hey- come here.” With a swift motion he scooped her up from her feet, immediately heading for the bathroom. “How did things end up like this?” He wasn’t expecting an answer - not yet anyways. Inside of the bathroom he sat her down on the toilet lid, immediately tending to the swollen toe.

At the same time Lucy was trying to collect herself. It was embarrassing enough that she had broken down like this in front of him, but now he probably thought she was weeping over a stubbed toe. It really wasn’t fair, she thought, because she wasn’t crying because of her frustration. She was incredibly happy right now, to have Natsu there to help her cope with her unfortunate day. If he had caught her just a moment earlier she wouldn’t have broken down like that - she’d be upset and short tempered, sure, but nothing like this.

Thanks to her manual breathing, she calmed down significantly. Not enough to actually stop the consistent flow of tears, but now she wasn’t gasping for air in panic anymore.

“Thanks for helping me,” Lucy sniffled. “And sorry for scaring you.”

Natsu, who just finished putting a bandaid around the now purple nail, looked up at her with a gentle smile.

“No worries. Stuff happens, right?” Though his words told her that he was fine not knowing what was going on, his face was clearly searching for the explanation to her behaviour.

“Well,” a sob slipped out, “I guess it does.” She wanted to tell him about her morning, she really did, but right now she just wanted to get comfortable and warm in her bed. Truth is, she really wanted Natsu to lay beside her - not only for the heat, but for the comfort of human contact as well.

“Wanna check out what I got for you?” It took a brief moment before Lucy understood he meant the grocery bags that almost were forgotten in her hallway.

“Does anything have to go in the fridge or the freezer?”

“No… Why?” He stood up from his squat, cleaning up the small mess he had made rummaging through her cupboards.

“Then… Can we rest for a minute?” Lucy took a square of toilet paper to wipe her tears. “I don’t have any energy to… do stuff right now.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. Can you walk fine?” Lucy nodded, the toe wasn’t that injured - she had gone through way worse, though those times her body was pumped with adrenaline. Natsu helped her up anyway, held her close to him as they headed to the bedroom. Lucy might not be hurt physically, but she rarely broke down to this extent emotionally, so of course he was still worried.

“Isn’t it kinda cold in here?” He always thought Lucy’s apartment felt colder whenever he hadn’t been there in a while, but wasn’t this way colder than usual?

Lucy didn’t answer. She only had one goal ahead of her, and that was to get into those sheets and get some well deserved rest. Besides, she could tell him all about her day later, they weren’t in a rush. So as soon as she could she crawled up on her soft bedding, and without a moment of hesitation, she dived in under the comforter. She had her back turned towards Natsu, but before shutting her eyes, she turned slightly and lifted the duvet, giving a clear invitation for Natsu to join her. The mattress sunk behind her as he laid down, shuffling closer and embracing his position as the bigger spoon.

“The landlady cut off the heating a few days ago. That’s why it’s cold here,” Lucy explained, her voice cracking meekly. Natsu pulled her closer, making sure his body heat warmed up the bed for her. He properly felt bad for her - clearly the cold and the stubbed toe weren’t the only reasons why she cried, so she probably had a really bad day overall. Whether or not she had been having nightmares or bad memories from her past, or if built up sorrow and anger just let loose, he didn’t know, but he knew that Lucy would tell him when she was ready to. His hand reached over her upper body in search of hers, and as he found it he gave it a supportive squeeze.

“That’s not all though,” she continued after a deep breath, “I also barely got any sleep last night. Totally my own fault, cause I went to sleep really late, but the cold made me unable to sleep in.” She spoke softly and rubbed her thumb across the palm of Natsu’s hand. “And then I went to take a shower, except the warm water had run out.”

“So you took a cold shower? You? Lucy Heartfilia, master of turning up the heat until not even I can stand it?” Chuckles filled his lungs, because he really found it ironic. Understandably annoying and upsetting for Lucy of course, but ironic nevertheless.

“Yes, and you bet I’ll never do that again. It felt worse than getting in the middle of a fight between Gray and Lyon. Look, my fingernails are still purple!” She shoved her free hand up in his face, attempting to display the cold, stale fingertips, but accidentally smashing them against his cheek in the process. After a quick apology, she continued. “As if that wasn’t bad enough though, my dishwasher didn’t start last night, so all my dishes are dirty, which wouldn’t be a huge problem if I didn’t start washing them in that cold water, only to learn that I’m out of oats!”

Remembering her streak of unluckiness made her heart drop slightly again, but surprisingly she had already gotten in a better mood. As she shared her burdens with Natsu, she felt a weight lifted from her chest. She even got in a good enough mood that she could initiate chuckling at her mishaps.

“Hold on a minute,” Natsu intervened, “didn’t I tell you only last week not to delay grocery shopping?” They had already been through a similar scene where Lucy had procrastinated going outside for so long that she started using normal hand soap on her body instead of her usual body wash.

“I knooow,” Lucy grumbled, “but it’s so cold out! You know I don’t have proper clothing for this weather! And I have plenty of food for lunches and dinners, just not for breakfast…” She tried to defend her actions, but she knew Natsu was right. Laziness would always come back to bite her in the back if she didn’t deal with things properly.

“Good thing I know you too well.” Natsu had a smug grin plastered on his face, the type of grin she’d usually want to wipe off with a kick. Overconfident Natsu wasn’t pleasant to hang out with, mostly because he got them into trouble when he acted like that. Today however, he looked like a saint. “I went shopping yesterday and thought you could use some food to stock up on.”

“No, you didn’t.” She turned so she laid on her back, head facing Natsu. She tried to look for any sign that he was pranking her, without any luck. “You bought oats?” He nodded proudly, teeth flashing through his cheeky smile. “Thank you.” She dug her face into his chest, hugging him as tightly as she could.

“But I bet the lack of oats didn’t make your toe explode, so how did you get hurt?” Even though Natsu suspected that he had an understanding of what had happened, he wanted to hear it from her.

“I stubbed it really hard against the leg of the kitchen table when I went to boil some water,” she explained with a muffled voice. There was really nothing more to it, which kind of felt embarrassing now that she had said it out loud. She knew she was blushing, but since Natsu couldn’t see it she didn’t mind.

“I guess I came at the perfect time,” Natsu joked, now taking the liberty to rub Lucy’s arms up and down.

“You really did. Thanks.” She lifted her head to meet his gaze, giving him a thankful smile before going back to hugging him. See, what they were doing right now was weird. As in, actually odd behaviour considering their relationship. Except, despite acting weird, Lucy found great comfort in the warm touches of Natsu’s hands, which still roamed her chilled body. She would never allow this to happen if the circumstances were different, because friendship simply couldn’t cross those lines. It would only end in disappointments when she learned that he didn’t feel the same way. Today though, she just wanted to indulge in their overly close relationship. Just their torsos touching didn’t even feel like enough, so she gathered some courage and moved closer. Playing it off as an attempt to warm her feet, she tangled their legs together. Natsu didn’t have the heart to tell her that her cold feet felt incredibly uncomfortable against his calves, so he decided to persevere. After all, he knew his discomfort was far from what Lucy was experiencing, injured toe and all.

The air under the blanket was finally starting to heat up, making Lucy even more grateful for Natsu’s presence. He must’ve acquired some 6th sense that told him whenever she felt lonely - a Lucy-radar if you want, because he always managed to come to her exactly when she needed him. But no matter if it was thanks to supernatural senses or if it was just pure dumb luck, she was currently content enough in their situation that she had the courage to do things that she normally wouldn’t do. Her fingers took the liberty to trail his muscular arms, slowly following the dips and bumps that made out his figure. Natsu, who couldn’t say he was used to this bolder personality Lucy sometimes showed, got goosebumps from her touch. Nice goosebumps though, the type that leaves a warm feeling in his heart. And with Lucy touching him freely, he took the chance to caress her in return, his hands moving from her upper arms to her back and ribcage, then continuing down the curve where her waist dipped the deepest. Lucy’s breathing got slow and relaxed with every stroke he made, so instead of stopping at the small of her waist, he slowly continued the quiet exploration of her body, moving down to her hips and then her thigh. He suddenly felt a huge craving to grip the soft flesh that hid under her long pyjama pants, so he grabbed her leg and pulled it over his own, also making them move closer in the process.

Lucy, who had moved on from her previous place as well, was giving Natsu’s shoulder a light massage, stroking the stiff musculature. She hid further into the shirt that clothed his chest before she collected some courage to speak.

“Did you know?” She began.

“What?”

“In the Best Friends Rulebook, the first listed rule is that best friends must have clear boundaries when it comes to physical contact.”

“What a dumb rule. Who came up with that?”

“Everyone agrees on it. You wouldn’t want to be cuddling with Gray like this, would you?” A disgusted sound made its way out from Natsu’s lips. No, he definitely wouldn’t want that.

“You know it’s different with you,” he began, trying to defend their actions. He didn’t get further in his explanation though, as Lucy’s fingertips grazed the side of his neck.

“I know. But we can’t do stuff like this if we go by the Best Friends Rulebook. Though… there is a way to make it work.” Natsu waited silently in anticipation of hearing her solution. “We could change the rulebook.”

“Are we still talking about books?” Natsu asked. He knew what metaphors were and how they worked, but dragging them out like this made him lose the thread.

“No,” Lucy answered bluntly. “I’m talking about you and me.” She was incredibly happy he couldn’t see her face right now, because even though she felt like they were on the same page with their feelings for once in their lives, being this open with her emotions made her embarrassed, and frankly, a bit nervous. Any sign of rejection would cut deep, now that she was this vulnerable. But she continued. “Best friends might not be able to act like this, do these things, but… when they’re not only best friends, but also…”

Her heart was beating so fast now, to the point that she wondered if Natsu could even hear what she was saying over the loud heartbeat. She had to continue though, this was the moment of truth. Her hand, that hadn’t stopped moving across his shoulders, arms and upper back, gripped his T-shirt in an attempt to calm herself - or to at least make sure she wouldn’t float away from all the air she was holding in her lungs.

“Also lovers… they can do this.” There. She said it. Knowing she couldn’t change the outcome no matter what at this point, she looked up at Natsu again, determination flowing in her eyes. And Natsu… he looked normal. He didn’t look surprised, sad, confused or angry - just like his normal, easy going self. She would have felt offended when his ribs started shaking in a lighthearted chuckle, except she really couldn’t get upset with him when he looked so thoroughly happy. He took her face in his hands and gave her forehead a soft kiss.

“Then let’s change to that other rulebook,” he said, continuing to kiss her left and then her right cheek, before giving in to what could only be described as cute aggression, showering her face in quick, sloppy pecks. Lucy, who was surprised by this sudden affection, couldn’t stop her bubbling laughter from spilling out of her mouth. She was so relieved that he understood the implication. She had told him that she wanted them to be lovers, and he had accepted. In fits of giggles she tried to bend away from him so she could properly look at him. She failed, at first, due to his constant moving, but after a second try she could pry herself away from his smooching-rifle. Natsu looked so joyful as he looked at her, that she fleetingly wondered how they ever could have gone as only friends for as long as they had. She grabbed his face in the same way he had grabbed hers, and felt an overwhelming amount of love pulse through her veins.

“Natsu Dragneel, I love you. I love you so, so much,” she confessed. She had dreamt about this moment for way too long, and even if it went nothing like she had expected, she felt like the happiest girl on earth. Give it to Natsu to solve the challenge of making Lucy’s days better, no matter what she goes through, because he has always known exactly how to cheer her up, even when he didn’t know it himself.

“I love you more, Lucy.” She could no longer wait, so she smashed their lips together, allowing them to mould into what could only be described as a perfect kiss. Natsu moved his hand away from Lucy’s cheek and into her tangled blonde hair, deepening their connection. This certainly wasn’t what Natsu had expected waking up today, and he had definitely not expected it after seeing her cry like she did, but nevertheless he was happy with the outcome.

Happiness has always been known as a short emotion, sneaking up in pulses, giving people licks of serotonin during the long winters of their emotions. Happiness has that in common with a lot of other emotions - anger comes in upset explosions, sadness waters the grieving fields of memories, only for the rain to cease after short periods of time. Jealousy comes as a storm, ripping up carefully planted and cared for greenery, only to leave the vaguer emotions like confusion to deal with the aftermath. Love, however, enters lives slowly, growing stronger for every kind and selfless act between the pair, staying unnoticed until the deepest feelings of frustration destructs the surroundings. Only then do they truly notice what amazing powers come with love - it heals, evolves and comforts.

In spring love blooms, in summer it sweats, in autumn it plays, and in winter it warms. Lucy and Natsu experience love all of the time - they have felt love for friends, family and even enemies at times, but most importantly, they have felt love for each other. The seasons have tested their resilience, gotten them through many trials and errors, but even the feeling of love comes to a consensus once in a while. Today it came in the act of showing up, tomorrow it might come in the act of keeping a distance. But they continue to love nevertheless.

#bumblebeehug writes #fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #nalu #fairy tail nalu #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #nalu fanfic #nalu fic #nalu fanfiction #fairy tail fanfiction #fairy tail fanfic #fairy tail fic #ft fanfic #ft fanfiction

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fucktherain · 8 months ago

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12 April 2024 (Fri) 1:14 pm

ENTRY II

Good afternoon. I’m still really ill. At this point I’ve got a wet towel (that was supposed to be cold but my body heat has made warm) draped on my face and I’m praying to God that this will end soon. I am even considering believing in the divine if I get better. I’m really hungry, but I’ve lost my appetite. I want to eat fresh fruits to feel cooler, amongst other necessary groceries I need / that I’m running out of. I’ve also got a package I need to pick up at the concierge but I really can’t bear the thought of going out. I don’t want to do my makeup (yes I’m quite self conscious and I feel like I look quite bloated) to go out, but I also don’t want to go out bare-faced (even though I know nobody cares). The concierge and the nearest supermarket (Waitrose) are literally like within 2 minutes walk (basically downstairs from me), but I’m feeling absolutely horrible. I’ve showered last night, but I feel so hot and uncomfortable. I’m sorry I’m complaining again, but I have to get it out of my system. I feel like I can’t complain to anyone else in my life because.. who wants to listen to someone complain? And won’t take help? Like, what can you say to that person? I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, and I know it gets irritating, so this is my place to vent.

Possible solutions is to force myself to go out. Get myself together and get what I need, though it’ll exert myself (I can barely get up without feeling faint – I felt like I was about to pass out a few times these past 3 days) and probably feel worse off. Or, I could get an uber delivery from a supermarket and have it delivered right to my door, but I’ll still have to go out because I have a package I need to retrieve. And also, quality of the groceries may be poorer (they don’t care about the quality of what they’re grabbing). I don’t know. But all I know is I’m in so much pain. My throat has gotten really, really sore as well. The first 1 or 1 and a half days it was fine, but now it hurts to swallow and I have green / yellowy phlegm. Yes, gross, but that’s what’s happening.

Also, the other night, I was thinking about how my period’s been a few days late and I got really paranoid. I did a test and I’m fine. Thank god. I’m not pregnant. It would’ve just been absolutely the cherry on top. I probably would’ve really tried to off myself a that point. Sorry for the suicidal joke. I really need to get better with less self-deprecating statements.

I feel like I need so many things. I bought some makeup to try to make myself feel better, and it’s arriving tonight. But the essentials - like a face ice pack, fuck. I need it. I’m actually heating up so much. This illness feels like it’s been going on for a week already. Okay. Look on the bright side. Without going through this shit, I probably wouldn’t have resolved to get better. The rain will end. Eventually it has to, some way or another.

–

I just walked to my living room window to check the weather and temperature. I still felt faint. But what’s lifting my mood is that it’s actually a nice day. It’s sunny for once, and the temperature seems to be just right. It’s 19C, but it feels a bit warmer (at least from my flat). I might go out. I think I will. I don’t want to waste this sunny Friday afternoon, and it’ll do me some good to get fresh air. I didn’t realize how stagnant the air was in my flat – especially my bedroom. I kept it dark, windows shut, just me and my blankets in bed. I still feel sick as fuck, but I’m going to try. This is a bigger step today for me. See? The doom and gloom does expire. I just needed to change my perspective and wait.

4:48 pm

I did my groceries and I retrieved the package. Some issues arose with a second package I’m receiving today but it’s fine now. I got a bit stressed out but at least it’s okay now. After unpacking my groceries, I went out again. Since it’s such a nice day out, and I’m still living a 10 minutes’ walk away from the famous Greenwich Park, I took another leap. I think that’s an improvement. I still feel sick but at least I’m out in nature. It’s a bit windy but at least the sun is out. I still feel simultaneously hot and cold. My goal here is to write as a form of self improvement. With me, I have so many thoughts and when it’s all just rattling around inside my skull, I just go stir crazy because I’m not really processing them. And historically, writing it all down helps because there’s a sort of… logical process to it. I don’t know if anyone else gets what I’m saying. But historically, it’s been helpful for me. Also, I can’t talk to anyone about my problems. The only one that can help me is me. I feel like I’m at a high risk of sounding very cliche. I’m sitting at a bench but I feel really self conscious with all the people walking past me. I think I’m going to move.

7:24 pm

I bought a book and got my second package. At the park, my boyfriend messaged me asking if I was free. I said yes. He told me to go to his. I didn’t want to get him sick, so I asked him if he was sure. He assumed that I got over my illness. Eventually, the conversation got to the point where he said ‘if we don’t talk we’ll fall apart’. I know that. I just felt like he didn’t want me around and that he needed his space. I always want to be with him. I want to talk to him always. I want everything to turn out well. I was just waiting for him. So I got home. I’m still in physical pain.

But at least today I can say I:

journalled

got out of my flat (for the first time in 3 days)

did my makeup (in less than 2 hours!)

got 2 packages

threw out trash

went to the park

got the necessary groceries

I am proud of myself for setting goals and surpassing them. I honestly thought I’d just be getting groceries and the packages, but I did much more than that. I think my reward for today was the packages. I’m very happy with my purchases. I’m grateful that I have them. I am trying and doing my best, and that is enough. Only I can save myself.

#entries #entry #journal #getting better #suicidal

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lifubide · 1 year ago

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Improving Sleep Quality: How Air Quality Affects Your Rest

Although some individuals endure chronic sleep issues, difficulty sleeping is a universal experience. Luckily, there are professionals who have devoted their careers to assisting people in discovering various methods to achieve better sleep and overall well-being. Experts emphasize the impact of air quality in our bedrooms on the quality of our sleep.

To enhance sleep hygiene, there are numerous approaches to readying your bedroom. Let's explore the various expert-recommended ways to prepare both your air and the overall sleep environment for the most hygienic night's rest.

The best air for your bedroom

Creating the ideal atmosphere in your bedroom for a restful evening involves understanding the intricacies of air composition. Various factors contribute to preparing a conducive environment.

Allergens and Irritants

Numerous respiratory irritants can pose challenges to peaceful sleep. Common allergy triggers found in household dust encompass well-known culprits like mold, pollen, and pet dander. Additionally, dust mites, prevalent in most homes worldwide, leave behind particles that can trigger allergies. Even seemingly inert dust particles may harbor harmful household chemicals or pollutants from outdoor sources.

These minuscule particles can break into even smaller fragments, settling on your bed and becoming airborne with the slightest motion during sleep, lingering in the air for minutes or even hours. To minimize allergens and irritants, consider implementing the following practices:

1. Change before Entering: Shed outdoor clothing before entering the bedroom to reduce the presence of pollen and other outdoor irritants.

2. Thorough Inspection: Regularly inspect your bedroom and home for potential mold, ensuring minimal exposure.

3. Frequent Bedding Washing: Maintain cleanliness by washing sheets and pillowcases frequently to reduce the accumulation of allergens.

4. Allergen Covers: If you're allergic to dust mites, consider using dust mite covers for your bed as an additional precaution.

5. Regular Vacuuming: Incorporate weekly vacuuming and deep-cleaning into your bedroom maintenance routine to eliminate dust and allergen build-up.

Air Purifier Consideration: Explore the benefits of using an air purifier to reduce the presence of dust and other particles in the air. Lifubide air purifiers, in particular, feature specialized filters designed to capture and eliminate small particulate matter, ensuring cleaner air day and night.

Temperature

Achieving the optimal sleep temperature is a familiar quest, yet preferences can vary widely among individuals. While some find comfort in temperatures ranging from 17°C or 63°F to 28°C or 82°F, sleep experts suggest a narrower sweet spot – between 20°C or 68°F to 22°C or 72°F. Warmer temperatures may lead to more disruptions, as unlike heat, cold can be addressed with additional layers on the bed or a heating pad if needed.

For those who struggle with sleep due to heat, there are effective cooling strategies:

1. Keep Cold Water Handy: Have cold water accessible by your bedside to cool your internal temperature.

2. Cool Bath or Shower: Consider taking a cool bath or shower to lower your overall body temperature before bedtime.

Wet Cloth on Forehead: Apply a wet cloth to your forehead, as a significant amount of body heat can escape through the head when there is moisture to facilitate evaporation.

Humidity

The quantity of water vapor in the atmosphere is directly tied to temperature, as warmer air has a greater capacity to retain moisture compared to cooler air. This relationship is crucial because colder conditions can potentially desiccate our nasal passages and throats, leading to dry and irritated tissues that can disrupt sleep. On the contrary, excessive humidity creates an environment conducive to the growth of mold and dust mites, and is associated with respiratory issues such as bronchitis and asthma. Interestingly, both insufficient and excessive humidity levels can contribute to the risk of infections.

To monitor humidity levels in your home, inexpensive relative humidity monitors are available. They provide insights into whether the humidity falls within the ideal range of 40% to 60%. If the level is too high, a dehumidifier may be necessary, while a humidifier could be beneficial if the humidity is too low.

Ventilation

This is a frequently overlooked aspect of maintaining bedroom air quality, as many of us tend to close doors and windows to minimize external noise. However, inadequate ventilation can lead to an accumulation of carbon dioxide throughout the night, making it more challenging to fall asleep and diminishing the overall quality of sleep. Moreover, insufficient sleep might render you more vulnerable to elevated carbon dioxide levels during waking hours the following day.

During the night, as you exhale, carbon dioxide levels can surge to four or five times their usual concentration, reaching around 2,000 ppm. Opening doors and windows, even if they do not lead to the outdoors, stands as the most effective method to enhance ventilation in your space and enhance sleep quality. If you perceive your bedroom as stuffy or stale at any time, placing a fan near a door or installing one in a vent can contribute to refreshing the air.

While basic carbon dioxide monitors are affordable, models designed to track levels overnight might incur a cost of a few hundred dollars. If sleep troubles persist or if you are concerned about stagnant air in your bedroom, the investment in a more advanced monitor may be worthwhile.

The best bedroom environment for sleep

Having addressed the air quality, it's essential to focus on other aspects of the environment to enhance the quality of sleep.

The best bedding

Ensuring the right mattress and pillow is crucial for maintaining high sleep quality. In broad terms, studies indicate that medium-firm mattresses can both alleviate and prevent low back pain. Additionally, the material of the mattress influences sleeping temperature, adding another dimension to consider beyond firmness.

The choice of pillow is equally important, especially for individuals experiencing neck pain. Research has demonstrated that rubbery or springy pillows tend to be more beneficial than soft feather pillows for addressing neck pain. Other studies suggest that contoured latex pillows are particularly effective. If you suffer from neck pain, it might be worth considering replacing your feather pillow with a springier alternative that fits well between your head and shoulder.

Taking the time to conduct personal research is key to finding the best mattress and pillow for your needs. Companies that prioritize mattress technology and research, such as our partner Purple Mattress, often provide informative blogs akin to this one, sharing insights into the science of sleep. Regardless of your choice, being well-informed about how to make that decision is always beneficial.

Get the right color noise

The term "color" in sound often characterizes the specific blend of high and low frequencies within a continuous noise. While it's widely known that white noise can aid sleep, recent findings suggest that pink noise may be even more effective. White noise spans the entire sound spectrum, resembling the static from a television. Its frequency graph appears as follows:

On the other hand, pink noise features fewer high-pitched frequencies, resembling more natural sounds such as leaves rustling, the whoosh of a fan, or a waterfall. The frequency graph for pink noise looks like this:

Sleeping with pink noise has been associated with enhanced memory, possibly due to its impact on memory-boosting sleep. For optimal benefits, investing in a dedicated pink noise machine is recommended.

We trust that our suggestions for promoting good sleep hygiene assist you in creating an environment conducive to the best night's sleep. Keep in mind that the Lifubide air purifier not only eliminates dust, allergens, VOCs, and other pollutants from the air but also monitors additional elements not directly addressed by typical air purifiers, such as carbon dioxide and humidity. This comprehensive approach provides you with an additional perspective on the air quality in your surroundings.

#lifubide #air purifier #sleep #air quality for sleep

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xxsycamore · 2 years ago

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𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ━ ≪ 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 ≫

Welcome to the third annual installment of Visions of Temptation - the multifandom kinktober content creation challenge hosted at my blog.

►under the cut you will find both lists written down in blank format. You'll also find a short explanation of some lesser known kinks you might encounter above.

███ RULES

▍This challenge features kinktober dialogue & kink prompt lists for everyone over the age of 18.

▍It’s absolutely free to use across all fandoms, with a main focus on otome. If you’re a writer, artist, visual graphic creator, etc., you can use these lists to create your kinktober works.

▍You can share this with your followers and open requests using these lists.

▍There are a total of 62 kinks, two for each day of the month of October, and additionally 31 dialogue prompts. It’s up to you whether you choose to use prompts from one of the lists or both, and to combine them or not. You don't have to follow just one list - mix and match them if you'd like!

▍Make sure to put content warnings where needed.

▍This challenge won't have a masterlist featuring the works created for it, meaning that it won't have a deadline either - feel free to complete at your own pace.

▍About credit: Make sure to mention the challenge itself and its creator, me. I’d be happy to see your works, so please tag me when using my list here on tumblr! Posting to other sites is fine, as long as you credit me properly :)

▍In order for us to find each other's works and appreciate them, please make sure to use the tag " #visions of temptation 2022 " !

▍Don't hesitate to reach out if you have a question! My askbox is always open!

▍Remember to have fun and not stress over this long challenge!

targeted fandoms: Ikeseries (Ikemen Vampire; Ikemen Revolution; Ikemen Sengoku; Ikemen Prince + other cybird games); Tears of Themis; Obey me!; Mr. Love: Queen's choice; Count of Darkness; Voltage games; Mystic Messenger; Light and Night; all visual novel otome + all other mobile otome you can think of. Remember, this is just the focus of the challenge - you can write for any fandom at all!

Depending on how much free time i've got on my hands, I'll also be checking out your works and reblogging them on my main blog, @kissmetwicekissmedeadly - under the tag "#vot 22 reblogs" :)

If you're wondering if i'm taking requests for my challenge, make sure to check my blog beforehand. In the moment of posting this, requests are closed - but that might change in the future.

███ PROMPTS

both lists in blank format + handy explanation of some of the kinks under the cut.

Happy creating, everyone and may you have a great October! ❤

Reblogs are appreciated!

Kink list:

Day 1 - Oct 1st - Oral sex | Sixty-nine

Day 2 - Oct 2nd - Sexy lingerie | Not wearing underwear

Day 3 - Oct 3rd - Phone sex | Wet dreams

Day 4 - Oct 4th - Outdoor sex | Sex in a vehicle

Day 5 - Oct 5th -Voyeurism | Mirror sex

Day 6 - Oct 6th -Dacryphilia | Praise kink

Day 7 - Oct 7th - Against the wall | Desk/table sex

Day 8 - Oct 8th - Exhibitionism | Getting caught

Day 9 - Oct 9th - Striptease | Clothed sex

Day 10 - Oct 10th - Morning sex | Waking up at night for sex

Day 11 - Oct 11th - Make-up sex | Aftercare

Day 12 - Oct 12th - Double penetration | Spitroasting

Day 13 - Oct 13th - Vanilla | Multiple orgasms

Day 14 - Oct 14th - Scent kink | Biting/Marking

Day 15 - Oct 15th - Breeding | Cockwarming

Day 16 - Oct 16th - Object insertion/Sex toys | Edging

Day 17 - Oct 17th - Discipline and punishment | Asphyxiation

Day 18 - Oct 18th - Somnophilia | Thigh fucking

Day 19 - Oct 19th - Intoxication/Aphrodisiacs | Dry Humping

Day 20 - Oct 20th - First times | Inexperienced characters

Day 21 - Oct 21st - Guided masturbation | Pegging

Day 22 - Oct 22nd - Shower/bath sex | Foot fetish

Day 23 - Oct 23rd - Face sitting | Deep throating

Day 24 - Oct 24th - Weaponplay | Temperature play

Day 25 - Oct 25th - Omegaverse | Size difference

Day 26 - Oct 26th - Anonymous sex/One night stand | FWB

Day 27 - Oct 27th - Suspension/Sensory deprivation | Impact play

Day 28 - Oct 28th - Food play | Handjobs

Day 29 - Oct 29th - Cumming in pants | Accidental stimulation

Day 30 - Oct 30th - Maid/butler kink | Glove kink

Day 31 - Oct 31th - Sexual roleplay | Supernatural traits and abilities

Dialogue list:

1. "Let's just have sex instead." 2. "This part of you…seems to be very sensitive." 3. "Prove to me that you deserve this." 4. "If you give me a hickey, I'll have to give you one too." 5. "Ah, I see you have a little problem. I can help." 6. "I've never been into this stuff…until I met you." 7. "I just like keeping you close. You're so warm." 8. "Be quiet. We're not alone." 9. "And what if I want you to do that?" 10. "It's okay, you're doing great. Keep going." 11. "Come back to bed." 12. "You haven't seen anything yet." 13. "Can you feel what you've done to me?" 14. "Okay, but we have to be quick." 15. "Fine, I admit, I've fantasized about this before." 16. "I'll go gentle. Though, we can always change that." 17. "You shouldn't have said that. Now I can't resist you." 18. "I knew you were secretly a pervert, but this…!" 19. "That's it, there we go…just like that." 20. "Are you trying to seduce me? Because it's working." 21. "It's time for payback. Turn around." 22. "So you do like getting spoiled after all." 23. "Don't stop looking at me while you do it." 24. "You say that, but all I hear is 'more, more, more'" 25. "I want to love every inch of you tonight." 26. "Hey, hey, two on one is not fair!" 27. "Enough of that, let me fuck you." 28. "You can still keep going?! What in the world are you?" 29. "Take your time. The whole night is ahead of us." 30. "You like the way this fabric feels, don't you?" 31. "Your face is a mess… a very pretty mess."

some prompts explained...

Voyeurism - secretly watching someone participate in sexual activities or do something private and intimate like taking off their clothes. An idea is person A catching person B masturbate accidentally but lingering by the door just a little longer...

Mirror sex - Sex in front of a mirror.

Dacryphilia - Kink for a person crying during sex.

Exhibitionism - Engaging in sexual activities in a public space with a risk of getting caught or being watched.

Make-up sex - Making up after a fight by having sex.

Spitroasting - A three-way sex act in which a person is penetrated orally and either anally or vaginally.

Asphyxiation - Basically choking.

Somnophilia - Intercourse while a sexual partner is asleep.

Intoxication/Aphrodisiacs - Drunk sex and sex while under the influence of aphrodisiacs and other substances.

Anonymous sex - Here is an idea: masquerade balls.

FWB - Friends with benefits, no feelings attached.

Suspension/Sensory deprivation - Bondage from tied up hands to shibari; blindfolds, mouth gags, etc.

Impact play - Slapping a sexual partner, could be across the face or spanking for instance.

Sexual roleplay - medical play, boss/employee play, all kind of play-pretend.

Supernatural traits and abilities - Werewolves! Vampires! All kinds of beasts but also: mind control, hypnosis, reading thoughts...it's no coincidence this is happening on Halloween day :)

Hope these could be of help! Remember, you can always come ask if something's unclear. Once again, happy creating! ❤

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scuttling · 3 years ago

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Head Over Feet - Chapter 3

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Spencer Reid/Female Reader (Unrequited) Word Count: 4,597 Chapters: 3/? WIP (I think 4 but you know me!) Tags: 18+, NSFW, Unrequited love, Protected sex, Oral sex, Vaginal fingering, Rough sex, Friends with benefits, Praise kink, Daddy kink Summary: Falling in love with one of your two closest friends was never something you planned; it only makes sense that falling in love with the other would also come as a complete surprise. *Inspired by/in collaboration with @ssamorganhotchner. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Link to AO3 or read chapter 3 below! You make it to Aaron’s just a couple minutes after he does; he’s removed his jacket, shoes, and gun, and his collar is unbuttoned, tie loosened but not untied. You wrap your fingers in it the moment you see him, work open the knot, and he leans in to kiss you, guides you fully inside so he can close the door behind you.

You pull his tie off, unbutton his shirt, unclasp his belt, kissing all the while—deep, eager, breathless kisses; when you have no choice but to pull back for air, you’re both panting, fingers still working to get you out of your clothes.

“How was your day? Good?” he asks, chest heaving as he pulls your sweater over your head, and you nod, wet your lips.

“Good, yeah. Yours?” He nods too.

“Good.”

“That’s good.” You surge up for a kiss, unbutton his pants and untuck his shirt, pull it off and drop it onto the floor. His hands find your waist and he maneuvers you through the living room, toward the sofa; you pause, press a hand against it, lift your leg to unzip one boot, then the other, and kick them off and under the coffee table.

He guides you to his bedroom—you’re walking backward, and it’s almost as if he drags you, his hands holding you tightly, long legs leading the way. You trip, tip-toe your way there, know he’d never let you stumble or fall, and when you stop at the foot of the bed you reach down, pull down his zipper, push his pants to the floor. He takes your face in his hands, meets you for a hot, messy kiss, and then you pull his undershirt over his head, quickly wiggle out of your jeans.

“You are so gorgeous,” he breathes, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck and pulling you in for another deep, wet kiss. He tilts his head the other way, nose against your cheek, tongue in your mouth, gripping you hard, and you moan into the kiss; you’re a little surprised at how that simple gesture, the hand on the nape of your neck, makes you feel wild and out of control. “Hmm. Do you like that?” he asks softly in your ear, squeezing his fingers, and you lick your lips, nod.

“Yeah. You can be a little rough; I like rough.” He pulls back to make eye contact, holds your gaze for a moment, and then unhooks your bra with the hand not on your neck, guides it off. Still looking into your eyes—your breath comes quick from arousal, not exertion—he slides your panties down, and then he moves both hands to your ass, lifts you up, and deposits you on the bed; you’re sitting up, but he pushes your arms so you’ll lay flat, holds you there a moment, and you moan again. Jesus.

“Can I eat your pussy?” he asks, low, leaning in to mouth at your throat, and you grip his shoulders, gasping softly when he nips at your neck.

“Fuck. Yes.” He pulls you closer to the edge of the bed, kneels on the ground, and opens your thighs with strong hands, licks over you slowly with a flat tongue. “Mmm. Oh my god.”

Broad swipes turn to targeted slips of tongue between your lips, quick flicks over your clit, and when he presses closer you run your hand fondly over his head, grip his hair roughly at the roots. He groans against your skin, sucks hard at your clit, and brings his hands up to squeeze your breasts, and you can’t help rocking up against his face, whining and moaning and begging for release.

“Please, Aaron. I want to come for you.” He looks up at you, gliding his mouth over your soaked folds, and takes back a hand, slides one finger inside you and then curls his tongue around it. “Oh, yes, please. Yes.” Another thick finger pushes in, presses up, pumps quickly, and you tense, arch off the bed, a string of whimpers falling from your lips as you come.

“So good, sweetheart,” he breathes, and he lifts you and guides you up the bed, so your head rests against the pillows. Your chest is heaving, teeth sinking into your bottom lip, and he lays on top of you, moves his mouth to yours, gets you to open it for a soft, wet kiss. “Suck my fingers, baby.” He presses them into your mouth, and you hold his hand, suck them hard and messy until he pulls them out, kisses you again. “I’m going to get a condom, I’ll be right back. Just a second.” You nod, let your head fall lazily back against the pillows, and he comes back, pushes his boxers down, and climbs over you.

“Let me?” He hands you the packet, watches you carefully tear it open, slip it over him, and you run your hands along his body, lean up for kisses until he guides you back and opens your legs wider with his knees.

The second he’s inside you, you both grab at each other, your hands on his back and one of his on your face while the other presses against the bed for support. He fucks harder, faster than the first time, and you eagerly match his pace, slide your hands down to dig your fingertips into his ass.

“Oh, fuck. Aaron,” you pant, and he brushes his fingers over your lips, then moves that hand to the bed as well, so he can press deeper. You hitch your legs up high, squeeze them against his hips, hold on to his ass as he fills you so completely it’s almost too much. “Yeah, fuck me. Oh, god.”

“Yeah, just like that. There’s my good girl.” You whimper, and he pounds his hips against yours, lowers himself down to his elbows and slips an arm behind your shoulders, holds you close like an embrace, kisses you breathless.

It doesn’t take long for you to come, not with his body pressed to yours, his mouth on yours, his cock so thick and so deep inside you; you mumble his name, Aaron and Hotch like your brain can’t keep up, and then he comes too, brings a hand to your cheek and just stares into your eyes while he frantically thrusts, then slows, then stops.

You sigh, bring your hands up, one on his wrist where he cradles your face, the other brushing through his hair; he shifts off of you, to the side, but you just hold each other for a moment, catching your breath, kissing softly.

Eventually he leaves to dispose of the condom, comes back and pulls you against his chest; you slip your legs between his, run your hand up and down his arm.

“So what did he do?” he asks after a couple of minutes, his voice a little rough, and you tilt your head to look up at him.

“What?” He doesn’t make eye contact.

“What did Reid do? To get you so worked up?” You feel a hot rush of shame, press your cheek against his chest because you can’t bear to look at him.

“He said he loves her. That he’s waiting for the right moment to tell her.” He hums, just a thoughtful sound, no judgement, and you shift up, rest a hand on his cheek so he’ll look at you. Your own idiocy aside, he needs to see you say this. “But I thought about you all day. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, and that had nothing to do with him—nothing.” He looks you over like he can’t decide if you’re just saying it, or if it’s true, and you brush your lips softly over his, put as much feeling as you can into the gentle touch.

He closes his eyes, exhales, brings you close for another series of tender kisses, then punctuates them with a press of lips to your forehead.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asks, and then he smiles softly, and you kiss him again and dangle over the edge of the bed, grab your phone out of your pocket, and cuddle close to look over some menus.

You opt for Lebanese, eat way too much baba ganoush, and lay your head on his lap and read while he watches the news. About a month later, you wake up at Aaron’s after yet another night spent in his bed—your twelfth consecutive night together at one of your apartments. You leave early, head home to shower and change, only grumbling a little about how you won’t have time to stop for coffee; when you get to the office, there’s a coffee cup with a stopper in it sitting on your desk, and you smile, pluck the stopper out and take a sip. It’s a perfect latte, still piping hot, and it makes your chest warm in a way that has nothing to do with the temperature.

“Secret admirer?” JJ asks, walking down from her office. “I saw it there when I came in but didn’t see who left it.”

“It was just Hotch,” you say, but just Hotch doesn’t really mean what it used to. He’s been your friend for a while, that’s not a secret, even though your friends with benefits thing kind of is—you don’t actively hide anything from anyone, but neither of you have felt the need to clue anyone in—but you can feel yourself becoming a little more… possessive, of him. It’s ridiculous: just because you’re sleeping with him doesn’t mean he’s yours, or that he owes you anything, you know that, but you’re more aware than ever of when someone pays a little too much attention to him.

It’s painfully obvious when you are in Charlotte later that week, working out of the FBI field office there; it’s your second day on the case, and one of the agents assisting you flirts with him in the breakroom. Openly.

“The coffee here is horrible,” she begins, standing next to him at the coffee maker as he waits for a fresh pot. You came in for a refill too, but he beat you to it, and then she showed up and squirmed her way in between you as if you weren’t literally in the middle of a conversation. “If you want, I can take you to my favorite cafe across the street. They grind the beans every half hour, so it’s always very fresh.” She’s turned toward Aaron, can’t see you, so you roll your eyes; he catches it, tries to hide a smile, but the agent thinks it’s for her. “Is that a yes, Agent Hotchner?” She lays a hand on his arm, but he clears his throat and he takes a half step back, politely and effectively removing it.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m spoken for.” The woman turns to look at you—she’s clearly unhappy about being turned down, more so since you’re standing just inches away—and you smile your polite, fake, public servant smile until she takes the hint and leaves the break room. You move closer to Aaron like you were before she arrived, your arms crossed in irritation, and he pours you a cup of coffee, hands it to you, leans in to whisper in your ear. “Play nice, kitty.”

His words send heat throughout your body, and when he pulls back you just stare at him for a second. If you weren’t so exposed, you’d put down the coffee, grab him by his tie, and kiss him until you’re both stupid, but there are agents walking back and forth past the windows, the open door, so all you can do is look at him. You make it count, make sure to tell him with your eyes that you cannot wait to get him to get him naked; it must be effective, because he wets his lips, flicks his gaze over your body. It’s only when someone clears their throat in the doorway that you look away from each other, and even then it takes a moment.

“Hey you two,” Emily says, hands on the doorframe. “We’ve got a witness that just came forward, Morgan’s going to take him into interrogation now. You probably want to come see this.” Naturally, the witness only further complicates your investigation; you’re all glad your killer takes his time choosing a new victim, because it buys you a little more time, and you have a solid profile by the next morning. You split up to canvass the neighborhoods, to go door to door asking if anyone knows a man who fits your profile—you’re partnered with Spencer, who seems more anxious than usual, and that’s kind of saying something.

“Are you doing alright?” you ask him as you walk up to a red brick house, knock on the front door. He presses his lips together, nods, hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?” You look over at him, raise an eyebrow, and he rocks a little on his heels. “You’ve cancelled the last couple of movie nights; we haven’t spoken much.” You knock on the door again, but there’s still no answer.

“I’ve been busy; you’ve been busy too, you know how it is.” You gesture to the next house, pull out your phone to jot down this house number so you don’t forget it and head down the sidewalk. “How are things with Chelsea?” He hums noncommittally, and you shove him lightly with your shoulder. “Come on, it’s okay. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.” It hasn’t been exactly easy, the last month—hearing how close the two of them have grown, how he told her he loves her and she said it back, how he has a drawer at her apartment—but it’s been easier. (Aaron doesn’t have a drawer at yours, you think absently, hasn’t asked for one, but you figure that’s by design; it’s a good reminder of what your relationship is, and isn’t.)

“They’re good. She gets a little frustrated when I’m gone for a while, when I have to cancel plans.”

“Most people are like that; they don’t live the life, so they don’t really get it. That’s normal,” you assure him. You’re a little surprised that it comes so easily, just like it would have before your big confession. He takes the lead this time, opens the screen door of a light blue bungalow and knocks three times.

“Is that how your… boyfriend is?” You bring your hand up to your face like a visor, peer in through the small windows on either side of the door, avoid eye contact.

“He understands,” is all you say. It’s too complicated to try to explain your relationship with Aaron, and you’re both comfortable with how it is now, not exactly secret but not exactly public; you don’t want to jeopardize it any way. “And she might, too, eventually. Just give it time.” You pull back, smile softly. “Looks like no one’s home. Why did we decide to canvass at one o’clock on a Wednesday?” Spencer shrugs.

“Because Hotch said.”

“Oh, that’s right. I’m going to text that dummy; you drive.” You hand him the keys, slide into your seat and buckle up, then tug your phone out of your pocket.

Canvassing was a bust—no one’s home. Whose bright idea was that again?

Excuse me? You grin, look out the window so Spencer won’t see it.

I think you may be getting past your prime. Time for a younger man to take your place?

You better watch your mouth, baby.

Or what, daddy?

You send it before you even realize what you said; it just sort of came out. The next several minutes pass by agonizingly slowly, and you’re about to send a panicked text, either backtracking or trying to play it off as a joke, when he replies.

You’ll just have to wait and see. Come back to the office. I’ll give you new instructions.

On the way.

Good girl. You almost whimper. He knows how those words affect you—torrential downpour in your panties—and he knows you’re in the car with Spencer. He’s playing a very naughty game, one you desperately want to participate in. You start to type...

“What did he say?” ...and then you drop your phone on your foot, turn to Spencer with a questioning frown.

“Hmm?”

“What did Hotch say? When you told him we didn’t have any luck.” You reach down to pick up your phone, and your seat belt tightens, restricting your movement. You huff, sit back in your seat.

“Uh. He said to head back to the office and he’d figure out something for us to do.” Spencer nods, and you blow out a breath, lean your head against the headrest and close your eyes.

Thankfully, the ride back to the office is short, and the two of you head for the room the team is set up in. Aaron stands when you enter, gives you a brief once over, and then rattles off new details the other groups have learned, gives you new assignments. Spencer leaves to meet up with JJ and Derek, but you hang back when Aaron softly says your name.

“Your text,” he begins carefully, and you take a deep breath. “What you called me. Is it okay if we continue that?”

“Yeah, it’s okay with me; more than. Is it okay with you?” He nods, moves a little closer; he glances up, like he’s looking toward the door behind you, then slides his hand to cover the back of your neck, squeezes it.

“It’s okay with me; more than. Be careful,” he murmurs, and then he releases you and you swallow hard, get back to your assignments.

The unsub is tracked, cornered, captured by nightfall, and you fly home despite the late hour. Everyone grumbles on the flight, about wanting to sleep in their own beds, or take a hot shower with better water pressure, but all you can think of is taking off Aaron’s clothes, maybe getting on your knees for him.

When you get back to the parking garage, you head for your car, but Aaron stops you with a hand on your arm. “Just come with me,” he says—he’s not asking, and you’re not about to argue. If anyone finds it strange that you leave with him, they don’t mention it, don’t even throw you a second glance.

You try to behave on the drive back to your place, but it’s so difficult. You squeeze his thighs when he comes to a stop at traffic lights, loosen his tie, run your fingers through his hair; he is just as turned on as you are, which is saying something, considering you’ve been nearly constantly horny since he called you kitty yesterday. He parks in your designated spot, turns off the car, and you release your seat belt, all but pounce on him. You push your hand past the open collar of his shirt, kiss his throat, curl your tongue around his ear, and he puts his hands on your face, kisses your mouth hard, then pulls you back.

“Inside; I need to fuck you.”

Yeah, you’re not going to argue with that either.

You get out of the car, try to help him with your bags, though he won’t let you; you fumble with the keys in the locks, you’re that turned on, but once you get upstairs, get the door to your apartment open, you’re both desperate again, pulling each other’s clothing off, kissing rough and deep. Shoes, socks, pants, and underwear are the first things to go, quickly removed, leaving you in a t-shirt and bra; you take Aaron’s dress shirt off, get him down to just the undershirt, but when you work your hands up his body he kisses you breathless, takes a step back.

“Stay there, right there; just like that,” he rasps, and you don’t move, just wait for him to walk to your bedroom, grab a condom, stand in front of you again. He says nothing, just looks you over, your heaving chest, wide eyes, spit slicked lips, and he rolls the condom on, walks you back against the wall; you gasp when you’re pressed against it, and he leans in, kisses your neck, nips at your jaw.

You moan softly, tip your head so he can reach more of your throat; one of his big hands comes down to rest on your pussy, rubbing easily, and then he pushes two fingers inside like it’s nothing. You’re already ready, so ready, and you wrap a hand around the back of his head, scratch over his scalp, whimper while he pumps his fingers a few more times before withdrawing them.

He wipes his fingers on his shirt, gets his hands under your thighs, and boosts you up, back against the wall, legs on either side of his waist. “Aaron, fuck,” you gasp, pushing up his shirt and wrapping your arms around his back, and he presses inside you, leans in for a messy, eager kiss and groans against your mouth.

“Hold on tight, kitten; I’m going to be rough,” he pants, lips hovering over yours, and you grip him, digging in with your nails. They aren’t long, or very sharp, but he loves when they scrape down his back as he fucks you into the mattress; you can’t imagine this will be any different. “That’s it; just let me use you, okay?”

“Okay, daddy,” you breathe, and he starts thrusting, pinning you up against the wall. You can feel his muscles flex beneath your hands, and he kisses and bites at your throat as his hips pump against yours; it’s almost overwhelming, and you’d close your eyes if he didn’t look so incredibly sexy, determined, slamming his cock into you, banging your body against the wall. “Oh, fuck.”

“Take it all like a good girl, like daddy’s good girl,” he says, eyes on yours, and he lifts one of your legs, swings it over his forearm so you’re spread further, so he can pound deeper inside you. All you can do is clutch him, try your best to bounce into his thrusts, and moan, and when he comes you move a hand to his hair, grab it roughly, grind down against him. “Oh, that’s it. God.” He tips his head back, exhales long and slow, and you lick your lips, keep moving until he tells you to stop.

He sets you on your feet, pulls out carefully and throws the condom in the trash, then crowds you up against the wall, wraps his hand around the back of your neck, kisses you deep and dirty and messy, lots of tongue and the occasional rough press of his teeth against your bottom lip. He pulls back, looks down at you, squeezes your neck, and you whimper.

“Daddy?”

“What is it?” You squirm a little; there’s no way he forgot, didn’t realize you didn’t get off. He’s always been very attentive, very good at making sure you’re satisfied. You wet your lips.

“I want to come.” He hums, takes his other hand and rubs it over your pussy, and you buck forward, whimper again.

“Can you think of a better way to ask for that, baby?” You move your hands over his back again, beneath his shirt, look up at him with soft, sensitive eyes.

“Can I please come, please?” It takes a moment, but he nods, moves his fingers to your clit and rubs them quickly, so quickly it’s dizzying. You moan, cling to him, and he leans close, presses his forehead to yours, looks down at you while he takes you apart with just his fingertips. “Oh, yes. Oh, fuck.”

“You like that, kitten? Then come for me.” You want to, so badly, you murmur it into the space between your mouths; when you finally climax, you whine, hold on to him, nearly go weak in the knees, and he lifts you up again and carries you to the bedroom, lays you gently back on the bed.

He moves toward you, and you curl yourself around him, hold him close; you wind up on your sides, one of your legs between his and the other slung over his waist, and he murmurs praise into your ear, pretty and perfect and so sweet and good. You pull his shirt over his head, and he removes yours, your bra, and you just lay there and hold each other, kiss, content.

Kissing turns to nibbling your throat again, and you wrap an arm around his shoulders, press a hand against his chest, moan softly while he mouths at your sensitive skin. Your hips move, you can’t help it, and then he’s hard against you, and you all but beg him to push inside.

“We’re good, I’m good,” you breathe, because you didn’t think to grab a condom and you don’t want to separate now, not when the moment is so thick and heavy and sultry, when you are well and truly wrapped up in each other. “I’m haven’t had sex with anyone else; have you?”

“No, it's just you. It’s just you.” He weaves a hand into your hair, pulls you closer for deep, slow kisses, and presses into you; his free hand resets on your hip, splays across it, broad and warm, and you rock together, kissing and panting, your hands moving over skin, clinging desperately to each other in a way that is so different but just as passionate as before.

“Aaron.” He pulls back, looks at you, squeezes your thigh, and says your name; he repeats it while you come, and you repeat his as he kisses your throat, hugs you close, and eventually spills inside you.

“You’re so incredible,” he says with a soft kiss, and you pull him closer, hug him tightly with your whole body, kiss his hair.

“You’re perfect. Addicting,” you say with a soft laugh, and he smiles, catches your mouth in a kiss.

You don’t want to separate any more than you did before, but you have to use the bathroom, and you could both use some water, so you get cleaned up together and then you stay in the bathroom while he heads for the kitchen. You throw on your robe, meet him out there, drink the better part of his glass of water; a knock on the door startles you both, and he walks over to where his clothes lay on the floor, pulls on his boxers.

“Who could that be this late?” he asks, and you shrug; you certainly weren’t expecting anyone at this hour, and definitely not with Aaron here. You walk toward the door, look out the peephole, take a deep breath and turn back to face him.

“It’s Spencer.”

“I’ll go in the bedroom,” he says, and you frown, but nod, give him one more kiss before he goes. You unlock the door and swing it open slightly, take in Spencer’s disheveled appearance, his teary eyes.

“Hey, what’s going on? It’s late.” He sighs, runs a hand through his hair.

“Chelsea broke up with me. We were supposed to go to a gallery opening for her friend tonight, and I missed it because we got back so late. She was upset, and we both said things, and she broke it off.” He moves forward, and you take a step back, which brings you both inside the apartment. He swallows, leans in and wraps his arms around you. “I didn’t know where else to go.” Taglist 🤍: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream @unicornprancing

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x female reader

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

Text

Long Nights - part 3

Neil x Reader

Chapter 3: Difficult

(see chapter 2, 1)

summary: the morning after.

warnings: 18+, explicit language and other things, not that descriptive but I am not leaving you with -implied- this time, nsfw

author’s note: Right, this is actually half of what I wanted to write for this chapter, but I thought that it might work better this way. A bit shorter one, 2.4k words, I hope you’re still gonna like it.

Also - apparently all fandom writers share one brain cell, so let me just say that any resemblance to other works is purely coincidental. (hi Tessa!)

The song for this part is Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @the-gazette-of-tea @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

------

Even before you opened your eyes, you knew something was off. The smell of bedsheets. Their texture. You rolled to the side, groaning slightly. A pulled muscle. Or two.

And a few other sore places.

Oh, right.

You heard the muffled sound of a door clicking shut and you glanced towards the entrance to the hotel room.

Neil looked like he’d just woken up himself, the lack of proper sleep painting dark circles under the blue eyes, a somewhat crumpled olive green t-shirt amplifying the usual dishevelance of his appearance. He caught your stare as he removed his shoes, balancing two cups of what you hoped was coffee in the other hand, and smiled lightly.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, but your timing is impeccable,” you laughed, stretching your arms and stifling a yawn. And then you smirked. “Glad to see it still holds true in the daylight.”

Neil snorted, his gaze lit up as you sat on the bed, not really bothered to cover yourself up.

“Coffee?” he said and handed you a cup.

“Yes, please and thank you.” You took the first sip and sighed with delight. “You’re an angel,” - a wicked grin crept on your face - “...a naughty one, but still.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the smug smile behind his cup.

“I did exactly what you suggested numerous times during the training,” he said, and then tugged the bottom lip between his teeth. “...and maybe elevated it here and there.”

You hummed in agreement as your sleep-deprived brain rolled a pretty vivid the best of tape; the string of flashbacks quickened your pulse more efficiently than the hot beverage in your hand.

“That you did, all right.”

Then your gazes met, and you pushed back the urge to curse. Yep, that was it. That scanning look. Vibe check. When both of you tried to figure out if the previous night changed anything between you. You wondered if he could see the silent plea in your eyes.

Please, don’t make this weird.

Neil hesitated, suddenly tense.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked sheepishly and took a swig from his cup, grimacing with regret as he evidently burned himself in effect.

“We had a fun night. Now we’re enjoying the coffee,” - pursing your lips, you tilted your head - “Did I miss anything?”

Seeing you all casual about it, Neil relaxed and exhaled slowly.

“I think that covers it.”

With the air cleared, you finished your coffee and put down the empty cup on the nightstand. Your clothes still scattered the floor, but there was something you needed to do first. You got up and stretched again, smirking as you caught the blue eyes wandering across your naked body.

“I’m gonna hit the shower,” you said, walking past Neil on the way to the bathroom. “Feel free to join me.”

Soon the hot water was soothing the stiff muscles and you closed your eyes, blessing the minds behind the concept of the rain showers.

The glass door creaked behind you.

“There you are.” You smiled, pouring a bit of the shower gel on your hand and spreading it on your shoulder. “For a second you got me thinking you’re not gonna come.”

Neil scoffed, amused.

“As if I could say no to an offer like that.”

His hand replaced yours on the shoulder and you gave him the bottle, groaning quietly as he started slowly rubbing your neck. The tension eased under his fingers, and you took a step back, turning your head and reaching to his cheek. As Neil leaned in to kiss you, his hands slipped down your sides. then up your stomach, and when they cupped your breasts, you gasped breathlessly. He smiled against your lips, looping one arm across your waist and pulling you closer.

You tangled your digits in wet blonde strands, tugging at them and shuddering as Neil stopped teasing your nipple and moved upward, wrapping the long fingers around your throat gently while he deepened the kiss. As if the act alone wasn’t enough to haze your mind, it awoke the memories from the night before, wiping any coherent thought from your head. Maybe that’s why a delicate stroke on your clit was almost enough to make your knees give out.

You whimpered and broke the kiss, then turned around and rested your forehead on his collarbone, catching your breath. Neil’s chest heaved under your palms as he embraced you, chuckling lightly.

“Still tired?” he asked, tucking dripping hair behind your ear and pressing his cheek to your temple.

“Not that tired,” you replied, smirking as you dragged your fingertips down his body.

A moan built in his throat but you were there to capture it with your lips. Your mind overcast with desire as you felt him getting even harder under your touch.

Even with the weary mood of the morning after, that pull between you was too strong to resist. And with your current state, it was so easy to get lost in each other’s closeness, in shared shaky breaths, in pleasure flowing through you to the rhythm of your bodies. Slow and careful at first, gentle brushes and gliding fingers - with the steam from the hot water enveloping you, the temperature was rising, and soon you wanted more. So did Neil.

He waited for a sign from you, and when your hips bucked and you started pushing against him, needy and desperate, his hold on you got firmer, his kisses more hungry and the pace of his thrust faster. The pulse pounded in your ears. Cold tiles against your back. You buried your face in his neck, gasping. Faster. The fire roamed through your veins, leaving you a moaning mess. Faster. The sounds of your bodies coming together filled the air. He cursed and pulled you closer. Harder. You cried out, so close to the edge. Neil tilted your chin and when his lips met yours, the world dissolved and you came undone, clinging to him as he joined you with a guttural groan.

You rode out your highs, trembling in each other's arms, huffs and giggles breaking in between sloppy kisses.

Neil pulled back to take a look at you.

“You okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, running your fingers along his jawline. “Thank you.”

A smug smile dangled in the corner of his mouth.

“My pleasure.”

You scoffed and smacked his chest, making him laugh in response. Pressing his forehead to yours, he cupped your face as the other hand stroked your back in a soothing manner, and you closed your eyes, letting out a small sigh.

“I think I need a moment to recover,” you said, melting into his touch. “Feels like I could crash right here and now.”

Neil’s thumb brushed your cheek.

“Good thing we have some time before the meeting.”

“Wait, we...?” - you furrowed your brows, trying to focus - “What meeting?”

“With the boss. He left a message a few hours ago.”

You pushed him away, staring at him in disbelief.

“And you’re only telling me now?!”

He shrugged, unfazed by your outburst.

“Was there any appropriate moment earlier?”

“Okay, fair enough,” you said and pinched the bridge of your nose, collecting yourself. You’d been waiting for a chance to ask your questions for so long, and now that you finally could get it, you were exhausted from indulging yourself with a hook-up. A stellar one, hard to mark as a mistake, really, but a stupid thing nonetheless. “Do you know what it's about?”

Neil studied you intently, puzzled by the sudden mood swing.

“I have an idea or two, but you never know with him.”

“Perfect.” You drew a long breath, and then you felt a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. The blue eyes finally found yours and you couldn’t hide that fond smile any longer. “Pass me that shampoo, will ya?”

-----

“So to recap - you have a tech that allows you to move backwards in time,” you said, combing a hand through your hair. “Sure, yeah, cool, makes total sense.”

You recalled Neil's reverse entropy theory and you looked at him just to catch his stare, checking on you if you made that connection. You knew better than to mention it aloud, chances were that he hadn’t told the boss about his slip-up.

“Glad to hear that it does.” The Protagonist smiled, but he was watching you closely as if he could see right through your bullshit.

Because to be completely honest, though? It didn’t. The whole concept was absolutely fucking mental. But at this point, all you could do was simply roll with it. Especially since it somehow explained why that goddamn lock they’d used to lure you into cooperation behaved the way it did.

You slumped on the chair, processing the new take on good ol’ reality. All the answers you got somehow led to even more questions, but before you could decide on one, The Protagonist leaned in.

“I asked you to come because I need to know if Neil is ready to check his skills in the field.”

You shrugged. “Depends. We’ve covered most mechanisms, but there are still things I need to introduce to him. But from the ones he knows? He’s good to go.” You smiled, your expression nothing but innocent as you glanced at your student. “He passed his recent stress test with top marks.”

If The Protagonist noticed the way Neil’s eyes widened at your words, he didn’t let it show.

“What if he had to be inverted?”

“Beats me,” you said and puffed your cheeks, exhaling slowly, considering the implications. “I assume that would mean the lock remains regular?”

The boss shook his head slightly. “I can’t guarantee that.”

You looked at Neil. He was sitting on the edge of his seat, pinching his little finger, the eyes darting between you and The Protagonist. Probably not too comfortable with being a passive subject of the conversation, bless his heart.

“Have you ever tried picking any of those locks that way?” you asked Neil, shifting on your chair to sit in a way that was supposed to make him feel more included in the discussion.

“Once, at the very beginning,” - he sent you a nervous smile - “but I failed miserably. Since then I’ve only practiced on the old locks in our regular setting.”

“I see,” you said, shifting your gaze to The Protagonist. “Then I can’t guarantee anything as well. We’ll add that to our training plan, when’s the first mission?”

The dark eyes bore into you.

“Yesterday.”

You scoffed, but then you realized he wasn’t kidding. You bit back a hysterical giggle and sighed.

“If I’d known about that from the start… about the mere possibility of training like that, I would’ve included it in the schedule a long time ago.”

“I had no idea it would take so much time.”

You didn’t know if that it was aimed at your teaching skills or at the pace Neil was learning, but it pissed you off enough to not care to ask for clarification. You weren’t having any of those.

“Listen, pal, you can’t learn it fast if you want to learn it well. Even with all the shortcuts provided, you need practice, and you can’t do that without spending hours polishing the skills enough to use it in the real world,” you huffed, glaring at the indifferent man behind the desk. “Neil can be exceptional all he wants, but he simply can’t cheat the process and skip right to the end.”

A light split-second brush against the side of your knee made you miss a beat. You blinked twice and you looked at Neil, but he was focused on the boss, using your moment of hesitation to chime in.

“Do you have any intel about locks on the location?”

The Protagonist nodded, handing him a folder.

You watched as the blue eyes flitted through the documents, the color draining from Neil’s face with every other page. Uh-oh. He cleared his throat.

“What’s our window to prepare?”

“Two days.”

Neil stifled a curse and rubbed his face. The boss fell back on his chair, reading enough from that reaction. You watched as they both considered the options.

“Is it just a b&e kind of assignment?” you asked, cutting into the heavy silence.

The Protagonist looked at you, puzzled.

“You mean breaking and entering? Yes, it should be, why?”

“Take me there, then.”

Neil straightened in his seat. “You can’t know for certain what we might find there,” he blurted out at the boss and turned to you. “No.”

But you ignored him, locking your eyes on The Protagonist.

“Seems like I’m your best chance.”

He couldn’t deny it, and from that brief glance at the information he’d collected on your jobs, you knew he got an idea about the things you were capable of. A certain level of flexibility was required in your line of work, and some of the stuff you’d gotten yourself into while working with Mahir proved you could get shit done, even if everything came crashing down on your head. Once or twice - quite literally. Ah, fun times. The Protagonist drummed the fingers on the desk, weighing his decision.

Meanwhile, you finally granted Neil some attention. He stared at you in silent protest, the features clouded with concern. The fact that he could be worried about you was utterly adorable, even if totally out of place. A corner of your lips twitched and you winked. Neil slouched against the back of the chair, rolling his eyes as a faint smile crept on his face.

Finally, The Protagonist made up his mind and nodded.

“All right. But I’m not sending you there without a basic training. Neil, I’ll ask Ives to clear his afternoon. He’s at the shooting range now, both of you should get there and start preparing straight away.”

“Oh, I know how to handle a gun,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. You’d rather jump straight into something more fun than that.

“Not an inverted one, you don’t.” Neil grinned and raised a brow, playful lights shining in his eyes. “Have you ever tried catching a bullet instead of shooting one?”

You fought the urge to massage your temples. Of course.

And then you beamed, barely containing your excitement.

That was more like it.

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet fanfiction #neil tenet #robert pattinson #tenet #tenet fanfiction #neil tenet imagine #long nights

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lifepros · 3 years ago

Text

#13118

If you ever have to live in your car... How to save money & be comfortable!

Bring Milk Crates For More Surface Area: If you have a small car like I do, you probably won't be able to sleep comfortably in the back seat due to the lack of surface area. In reference this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Usqf7aNxg), you can place milk crates in your backseat and cover them with blankets to increase your sleep surface area. You might even be able to extend your legs all the way! If you still can't, like me, it's still quite comfortable. I cycle through 3 sleep positions:

Back against the seat, head facing the windshield, legs 90% extended over milk crates. This is known as the "J Sleeping Position" in the YouTube video Butt resting against front seats with most of body on the milk crates, head facing the direction of the rear windshield. Leg extension will probably be about 70%. Face down with right leg near a 90 degree angle on top of the milk crates, and left leg 100% extended into the crevice between the passenger seat and the door.

How To Wash Dishes: When you finish your meal, use paper towels to wipe out all the food scraps that are left on your utensils, plates, and bowls. After it looks completely empty, use a dish brush, a bit of water, and some dishsoap to lather up all your things with soap. After they're all lathered up, use a squirt bottle of water (to direct and conserve water) to wash off all the soap. Ideally, you would use very hot water, but that's not always realistic.

Cover Your Windows: You should cover your windows, not only for privacy, but so you have an easier time sleeping at night without as much light coming in. You can cut out black plastic to cover your driver-side windows & place them by rolling up your window to trap the plastic so it dangles down. Your windshield can easily be covered by a traditional sun cover, usually used to block the sun's heat from getting trapped in your car. Your rear-windows are best covered with a window sleeve that acts as a bug net, this way you reduce the transparency of the window, but more importantly you can open the windows a crack and get ventilation without risking any bugs from coming in. The best way I found to cover the rear windshield is with black plastic placed from the interior of the car, and using strong magnets to hold it (placed on the interior and exterior of the car). This is all partly shown in this Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Usqf7aNxg

Getting & Storing Water: Some people recommend asking businesses to use their water supply (visible outside the building) to fill up your water tanks, but I haven't had success with that. It's hard to find, the employees usually don't know the water supply exists or if they're allowed to allow you to use it, and I usually just get told no. Instead, I fill up a 5 gallon jerry can with water at the grocery stores, which is great because this water is meant for drinking. This means you can get clean water super cheap for both drinking and bathing. For storing your shower water, you put it in a 5 gallon bucket with a waterproof sealing lid. For drinking water, you can keep it in your 5 gallon canister and pour it into water jugs (using a funnel) whenever you run low in your bottles.

How To Accessibly Cook Quickly & Easily Anywhere & Store Fuel: I can't give tips on how to cook quickly and easily without making product recommendations, which is not allowed in this group. As for storing fuel, I can't make this recommendation blatantly for all fuel as they have different temperature storage requirements. For the fuel I use, which I cannot mention due to the rules, I've been recommended to store it under the passenger seat (to minimize exposure to heat) and I haven't had any problems. When storing fuel, make sure you park your car under shade whenever possible (during hot days) and put the sun visor up in your windshield to block some heat.

How To Find Work: I can't recommend specific places to find work due to the rules, but what I can do is recommend freelancing and/or independent contracting gigs (which let you choose your own schedule, who you do business with, and where you work). Although, it seems the US may pass legislation to remove most (accessible) contractor work and consider it employment, which would remove contracting's beneficial, flexibile qualities. Keep an eye on that!

Eat All Your Meals at Once (Unless You Eat Out): If you're working while you live in your car, it's really impossible to cook 3 meals a day due to all the prep-time, eating-time, and clean-up-time it takes. You can fall into a pattern of eating one meal a day without feeling hungry, but please ensure you're eating enough calories for your age, weight, etc. You should probably also see a doctor to make sure it's safe to do for you. It saves a lot of time and makes the day's routines so much easier.

Do Your Own Laundry: Laundromats can get expensive if you go frequently, and you may not have even brought enough clothes with you to get through a few days without doing laundry. Some people do their own laundry in buckets, but it seems like too much set-up and too much water. I had success doing 1-2 loads of laundry per day in a "wash bag." It takes literally 5-7 minutes to wash & rinse each load of laundry. To dry it fast, you can "squeegee" the clothes with your hand to get any leftover water out, then place it with maximum surface area exposed onto a laid out towel. After all your clothes are laid out onto the towel, you can roll up the towel with the clothes in it until it looks like a long snake. Then, you can squeeze, press, and even put your knees all across the towel a few times to get as much water absorbed from the clothes into the towel's fibers. After this is done, you can hang a clothesline with paracord in the woods from tree to tree to hang your laundry by clothespins in the sun. Personally, and this might not be healthy, I hang my laundry on a clothesline in the back seat of my car with a towel laid underneath, and I try to park my car in locations where the clothes will be exposed to sunlight. By the end of the day, the clothes are almost always completely dry, even on cloudy, rainy days.

Go To A Real Laundromat 1x a Month: The towel you use to dry your clothes should definitley be washed, but it's probably too big to fit in a wash bag. Your blankets are also likely too big. This is why I take all my stuff to the laundromat for one "real" wash a month. Just because I'm going, I also include all my clothes which are ordinarily washed by the wash bag, as well as my pillowcases and anything else I can find that might need a wash.

The Cheapest & Most Accessible Shower Option: Some people use gym memberships to have consistent access to a shower, but gyms can be expensive and if you're traveling, you won't always have access to the same gym, and you probably don't want to have 10 different gym memberships.We're going old-school and using a bucket full of water. I take my jerry can full of water and fill up a 5 gallon bucket about halfway. I go out into the woods with a "shower tent" (for privacy), a change of clothes, flip flops, a bucket of water, shampoo/soap/hygiene items, a small towel, a bag (holding most of this), and a canteen. I set up the shower tent and fill up my backpack full of all the clothes I was previously wearing. I then put my bag of clothes and shoes outside the tent, while I'm nude wearing flipflops inside the tent. Then, I use a canteen to pickup some water from the bucket and do 1 big dunk of water over my head, trying to get it to run over my whole body. I take a 2nd canteen full of water to wash over areas I missed (armpits, groin, etc). 1st thing I wash is my hair with shampoo. Then I lather up with soap all over my body. After that, I take about 5 or 6 canteens full of water to wash off the soap with water. Most of the time when I wash my body, since I'm pretty tall, I do it in a crouched position so I can hold the canteen above my head in the shower tent. After I'm all washed off, I dry off with the small towel and start putting on my clothes except my socks. I go outside the tent to sit down on a rock and dry off my feet and put on my socks and shoes (without getting the socks wet). I usually try to shower around 6 or 7am when there's less people around and there's daylight (and there aren't mosquitos everywhere). If you have leftover water in your bucket, you can put a waterproof sealing lid over the top of it to store the bucket safely in your car.

How To Be Covert: It's hard to be covert about sleeping in your car because you'll have black plastic hanging on the outside when you're sleeping, and during the day you'll have laundry in your back seat. I don't have a solution for any of that. But, in the morning, when you shower, you might have some serious stage fright if there's people around. What I like to do is pretend I'm going for an early morning workout into the woods (usually of a park or hiking trail). My backpack carries all my hygiene items so no one sees them. I carry the bucket full of water with the lid on as if I'm going for a workout carrying heavy stuff into the woods. Over my clothes I'm wearing an overlay warm-up/workout jacket and pants. That way, when I shower and change clothes and come back, I'll still have the overlay jacket and everything over it, so people won't see the change of clothes and won't be suspicious. Also, in the event someone comes across you in your tent and asks what's going on, you can make up a lame excuse (and see if they accept it) that you saw a tick on your body and wanted to do a quick tick check before you return to your car (so the tick doesn't escape into your car). I haven't had anyone come across me before. One of the most important parts of being covert when showering is actually going deep enough into the woods, off the hiking trail, to be away from people for the short time you'll spend showering.

Where To Sleep: You can sleep in most Walmart parking lots without having to buy anything. Some Walmarts don't allow people to park there, so you might consider calling the Walmart before you come. You can also sleep in truck stops, but I'd recommend doing your research to make sure it's popular and big enough so that you'd feel safe. There are apps with listed places you can park for the night, and some truck stop apps tell you how many parking spaces their truck stops have (so you can guage popularity).

Security: Never tell anyone where you're sleeping or even that you're sleeping in your car. If you feel unsafe where you're parked, find a new place to park for the night. I recommend carrying a knife and/or pepper spray if you feel comfortable. At the very least, carry a loud whistle. Always lock your doors at night. Have a flashlight/lantern accessible and nearby. If you're exceptionally worried about getting mugged or things stolen from you, I've heard a tip where people wear a fly fishing vest underneath their clothes and keep all their important possessions in its pockets. If someone mugs you quickly, they'll probably just ask you to empty your pockets and it'd be too difficulty/long to have you take off all your clothes and then unzipper your pockets and empty them. Other than that, always make sure someone knows where you are and where you're going, checks up with you in the morning to make sure you're safe, and are "on-call" in case you call or text them in an emergency.

NOTE: I do not sleep in my car full-time. I go every once in a while for 5-7 day (or so) bouts because I find it enjoyable. The 1st thing I wanted to do when I started this was find strategies to make car-living comfortable and easy. I really hope these tips find someone in need and helps them strategize a way to do so comfortably and frugally.

Updates:

Charging Electronics: You can get a power bank that holds a long charge. Use this to charge things like your fan, phone, smaller power banks, laptop, etc. The best place for charging things that I've found are public libraries. A great way to access wifi, get work done, keep in touch with people, etc, all while your power bank charges. Look for power banks that can charge a laptop 2-3+ times.

Staying Cool In The Summer: Getting an electric car fan (that works by USB) will save your sanity in the summer. You can place it between the driver and passenger seat at night and direct it either at you, or at the ceiling to circulate the air. I don't think living in a car can be comfortable in the heat without a quality fan.

#tips and tricks #life pro tips #life advice #life pros #lifehack

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silverhandy · 4 years ago

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I saw the devil (in me) - chapter 5

Takemura doesn't believe in ghosts, not really, but a man driven to his limit might believe in just about anything. Trapped in a losing game and consumed by grief, he returns to Night City looking for closure. but ends up finding something much more.

ao3 I chapter 1 I chapter 2 I chapter 3 I chapter 4

Just as Viktor had said, his apartment was a short distance away from the clinic, but even that short walk made Takemura feel short of breath, his entire body shivering from the cold despite the thickness of his coat, one that should be more than enough to ward off the harshest of winters. He picked up the pace, following the directions on a small map that appeared on the top right of his interface, guiding him through the streets and later, when he reached the megablock, through the labyrinth of the scraped interior’s corridors. Takemura grimaced at the way the halls were littered, yellowed paint flaking away from the walls only adding to how grimy the place looked. Quietly hoping that Viktor’s apartment will turn out to be more orderly, Takemura pulled the collar of his coat up, but none of the people he passed on his way up gave him any more than a passing glance. At least this time he could blend right in instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.

Finally, an elevator ride and two flights of stairs later, Takemura was standing in front of the ripperdoc’s apartment door, gingerly putting his hand on a scanner while trying to catch his breath, the short climb showcasing how far from his usual form he still was. After taking it’s sweet time to verify a new ID, the device beeped and the doors slid open, inviting him in. Relieved, he stepped into the dark corridor and reached out a hand in search of a light switch. It turned on with a soft click just as the doors closed behind him.

The corridor opened into a combined kitchen and living area, with a long counter creating an impromptu barrier between the two. A small desk was tucked in the corner on the far side of the room, barely enough space to house a desktop and a few books stacked on top of each other, the pile dangerously swinging to the left, threatening to collapse at any moment. The rest of the available space was occupied entirely by a big, comfortable looking sofa and a tall shelf housing even more books and boxing trophies, maneki nekos in various colors and shapes perched up in between. As Takemura walked further into the room, he passed the door leading into a bathroom and what used to be another room for the bedroom, but with the wall dividing it and the rest of the apartment gone, different kinds of floor tiling were the only indicator that there used to be anything between them,

Takemura shook off his coat with a heavy sight and looked around for a place to hang it, eventually deciding on just placing it over the back of a chair, faced with a lack of a more traditional hanger. He walked up to the desk and placed the coat over the metal frame of the chair, careful not to let the heavy material crease in ways it wasn’t meant to.

That’s when he noticed the photographs. Not digi-frames, but actual, paper photos hung on a wall over the desk, small, carefully cut pieces of tape on each corner. Takemura leaned in a little to take a better look, intrigued by this old-fashioned display of nostalgia. It wasn’t out of character for Viktor, judging by the sheer amount of trophies he kept in his clinic, but still, this specific type of reminiscence wasn’t something that Takemura came upon too often. Moreso, despite his efforts to the contrary, his curiosity about the doctor’s personal life was only growing. It was impolite to sniff around his apartment like this, pry into the other man’s privacy, but the photos were there for him to see, practically luring him in. Moreover, it made him realize how little he knew about Viktor.

Shortly after their first meeting, the ripperdoc would let him hang around the clinic for a few hours when Takemura stopped by to check on V during the weeks it took her to recover and a few times even offered to watch boxing matches together, throwing in anecdotes from his own sports career in between the speaker’s commentary. Takemura appreciated the gesture, these times they spent hunched over the tiny screen on Viktor’s desk, a moment of downtime Takemura didn’t realize he needed back then, alone in a foreign city, persecuted by his own people. Compared to the chaos that Night City was, the clinic felt stable, safe and consistent. Check on V, chat with Viktor, reluctantly accept his invitation to stay for a few hours. Rinse and repeat. Takemura wouldn’t admit to himself how comforting Viktor’s presence felt, how easy it was to drop his guard around him, kept telling himself that one of these days he’d just see if V was still breathing and go on his way, work on a plan while laying low, blending into the crowd. However, all things come to an end - eventually V pulled through and Takemura felt he had lost an excuse to visit the clinic and so he stopped coming, throwing himself into putting the pieces of his old life back together. There was no time for indulgences anymore. He had to stay vigilant all the way through and not let himself get distracted as he and V miraculously managed to pull off each part of their insane plan.

They weren’t friends, exactly, their relationship bordering on acquaintances, but before that there was only one thing connecting them - V. With her gone, that thin thread between them was bound to break, wither away into nothing, and yet it didn’t the moment Viktor was thoughtful enough invite him to V’s memorial.

Takemura raised a hand to straighten the corner where the tape gave out, a centerpiece photo of Viktor, V, Misty, and a man with a square jaw and smiling eyes, arm thrown around Misty’s shoulders. They were at a diner of some sorts, washed out, red leather of the seats reminding Takemura of the same restaurant he spent hours nursing the same cup of coffee so he wouldn’t be kicked out. Plus, he still looked like a corpo back then. That also could’ve helped his case.

There were more photos of them, the group hanging out in various settings, at what looked like some sort of a festival, a bar, karaoke even, all these tiny moments forever captured in a single frame. Viktor and the man from the first photo after a sparring, foreheads glistening with sweat, a wide grin on their exhausted faces. There were a few others, ones where Viktor was noticeably younger, wrinkles that now lined his face not yet visible. Some of the photos were creased with white break marks where the pictures have been folded, the corners worn with age.

Just as Takemura was about to turn away, already feeling like he was leering, he noticed that one of the pictures had fallen to the ground. He leaned down to grab it and put it back where it belonged, filling the empty space it left behind on the wall, but not before he could take a look. The photo was quite old, though not quite as old as some of the others. Viktor was standing with an arm casually thrown over another man’s shoulders, both in Trauma Team uniforms, smiling for the camera.

Takemura hummed. Of course, that Trauma patch Viktor wore wasn't for show, but at the same time, the ripper didn’t seem too open about his career there. Takemura looked at the man next to Viktor. He was much leaner, Japanese heritage clearly visible in his features. He was smiling, too, practically leaning on the man next to him, daring eyes looking straight into the camera. Takemura let himself wonder, gently fondling the photo between his fingers. A good friend? He turned the photo and read the date. April 23rd, 2068, nearly a decade ago. More than enough time for circumstances to change, new opportunities to arise, friendships to dissolve, Takemura thought as he placed the photo back in its place.

Enough of that. What he needed right now was a hot shower, the kind that almost burned, forcing the strained muscles to relax. Takemura could feel how clammy his skin was, covered with layers of dried sweat from the days he spent tossing and turning, battling the ever rising fever. Washing it all off was bound to make him feel better, and even if it didn’t, it was certainly a start.

Takemura made his way to the bathroom, taking note of a fresh towel and a small pile of clothes left there, a small note laid on top of a neat pile. He smiled softly at an I hope it fits this time written in small, jabby cursive, but let it be for now, instead leaning down to turn the faucet of the bathtub on. It took him some time to figure out the proper ratio of cold to hot water, the pipes gurgling warningly at every turn, but eventually, he was satisfied. While the tub filled, he took off his clothes and folded them carefully, placing the pile in the laundry basket and waited until the tub was finally full.

Careful not to wet the bandage covering the entirety of his left arm, Takemura slipped into the water with a deep sight. The bathtub was quite big, long enough for him to straighten his legs comfortably. Left arm resting on the edge of the tub, he let the rest of his frame submerge into the water completely, already feeling the sheer temperature of it forcefully untwisting the knots that his muscles have turned into. Brushing away the wet strands of his long hair, he grabbed a bar of soap resting on a small stand and started sliding it over his skin, carefully washing the crevices where chrome met flesh. Soon enough the clear water dulled into milky whiteness and Takemura let his head rest on the edge of the tub, closing his eyes and letting himself simply enjoy the warmth surrounding him. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander, skipping over his plans for the foreseeable future. After regaining access to his account and the little money he managed to stash there, the first thing he’ll do is pay Viktor off, twofold for all his trouble. Then what? He didn’t want to think about it too much in the moment, but soon enough he’ll have to. Maybe he should just take these few days off, let his body heal before he has to make any big decisions. With his old life ending the way it did, sooner or later he’ll have to start building a new one.

Because in a way, a part of him died in that abandoned parking lot in North Oaks. By not accepting the fate Saburo-dono decided for him, Takemura denied everything he ever sworn by, this final act of disobedience ending the man he once was. The only man he knew how to be. If he was honest with himself, he was scared that not much else might be left.

Takemura didn’t even notice when the water turned cold until he felt himself shiver slightly, the pleasant warmth no longer engulfing him. He must’ve lost track of time, he thought as he stood to get out of the tub, careful not to slip. Takemura reached for the towel and started drying himself, surprised at how soft the material was. Eventually, he wrapped it around his hips and leaned over the edge of the sink, feeling as if it was the first time he had really looked at his reflection in months. Silver threads in his hair had crept up beyond his temples, making his skin look even paler, even more so with how deep the dark circles beneath his eyes were. He looked thinner, too, muscles he considered his own personal armor, an essential part of what used to be his job for decades, giving way to the bones straining against his skin, a palpable testament to the toll the last few months have taken on him. Takemura let his fingers ghost over the skin, dancing around the fresh scar right where the left side of his ribcage ended, until he reached up, all the way to his sternum where flesh met metal and further, to his cybernetically modified neck.

He rubbed his hand over the insolation, red threading still wet from the bath. The touch felt distant, his fingers going over the cables and metal elements, all connected in an intricate pattern keeping the entire construction functional. Takemura felt a sudden need to tug at the cabling, see how much manhandling it’d allow before giving way. It felt suffocating, Arasaka logos all over the metal plates loudly declaring to whom he belongs. With that collar on him, could he really be something else?

Takemura turned his eyes away from the mirror, as if afraid of what else he might see if he stared at it any longer. He pulled his still wet hair up into a messy knot and got dressed, the entire ordeal taking him an embarrassingly long amount of time. Viktor clearly had an eye, because the clothes, a charcoal pair of dress pants and a simple, navy shirt, fit him almost perfectly. Takemura hummed in appreciation, making a mental note to thank the doctor later and stepped out of the bathroom, but as he was making his way up to the chair where he left his coat, he saw a pair of yellow eyes staring right at him, seemingly just as surprised as he was. Was it the same ghost that kept haunting him for a while now?

“V…?” Takemura heard his voice in the otherwise completely silent apartment, the merc’s name escaping his lips before he could even think about what he was about to say. The animal in front of him let out a meow before jumping off the counter and making its way to where Takemura was standing, still unable to move. As he felt its small body, very much corporeal, rub against his legs, he finally allowed himself to exhale. It was just a cat. Not a bakeneko, but an actual feline, one that seemed to take a liking to him almost immediately. As he passed the kitchen, only now noticing the two small bowls placed in the corner of the counter. Takemura scoffed at himself, embarrassed that such a thought would even cross his mind as he walked up to the couch, the cat following him closely. When he reached out a hand to grab his coat, the cat jumped onto the couch and meowed once more.

“What is it?” Takemura asked, dropping his arm back to his side. The small thing meowed again, more demanding this time. He sat down on the couch, sighting as the cat immediately climbed onto his lap and made itself comfortable, purring loudly until it eventually settled down, curled into a ball. Takemura smiled softly, petting its tiny head, eyes already half lidded. He felt so tired, the couch was surprisingly comfortable and the heat radiating off the cat sleeping on his lap was more than enough for Takemura’s eyes to close, just for a second, he told himself, but before he knew it, he drifted away.

#goro takemura #goro takemura/viktor vector #takevik #viktor vector #victor vector #cyberpunk 2077 #the devil ending #cp2077 spoilers #my writing

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morphituu · 5 years ago

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Milagro

Chapter 17: Summer Showers

Ch: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16

Oh, how he loved her like this.

It wasn’t just the way her mouth hung open in constant, delicious moans, nor was it the way her breathing hitched, a wide smile meeting his when hitting a favorable spot. Not even how fucking wet she was; he could hear everything happening.

It was the way she looked at him. Like he’d been the one to choose the colors of every sunset painted across LA every night. He felt like a masterpiece when she looked at him like that.

She absolutely fucking adored him and it showed in the way she secured his massive hands over her misty skin, bringing him along for that blinding race of euphoria that riddled her body with juicy shudders, her eyes cutting down to find his as she came upon the crest of her orgasm. The breathless shouts in his name, barely able to get out that she was cumming until she was crashing down all around him.

“Fuck, Callie,” he’d pant, her thighs twitching under his palms and breasts trembling.

Loud, throaty moans broke past his jaws when she pulsated around him, her smile growing wider and her fingertips ghosting down his thick, chiseled chest, continuing to ride his rigid cock.

Callie knew how close he was by the way his arms grew weak, his head raising off the pillow weakly, yet his eyes remaining shut tight.

A few more smooth rolls of her hips and some encouraging whispers later, and the grip at her sides was enough to make her whimper, a few languid pumps of his hips slapping softly in the stuffy room. He whimpered in time with the thick shots of cum shooting into her, the severity of his hold lessening when his stomach unclenched and wide shoulders lowered back into the sheets.

She rode out the last of him slowly, kissing his palm that reached blindly to touch her face. He cradled her cheek as her cunt massaged his slowly shrinking dick, the small bursts of tenderness making him twitch under her.

There was a low purr that mingled with the deep breaths he exhaled, his chest slowing as hers did. Sweat clung to both of them, her sloppily pinned hair even messier around her sticky shoulders and neck.

Callie ran her nails upwards along her scalp, holding the loose hair atop her head. “Esta bien?”

Nick nodded without opening his eyes, his wide hand dragging in a slow circle across her round stomach. “You?”

She nodded, reaching for his hands to lean into as she lifted off him. Nick tensed and whined as he slid out, his heavy dick falling onto his lower stomach.

Callie leaned over her stomach for a quick kiss before waddling to the bathroom, her last steps rushed when the extra weight of Leo pressed on her already touchy bladder.

The locks of hair that had fallen around her face were pinned back up as she relieved herself, in addition tenderly checking her sore earlobe after Nick had accidentally yanked when he hooked a finger in one of her hoops. She cringed, expecting a torn lobe but was relieved to find only minor swelling.

No more hoops during stripteases. Callie was mid-wipe when something felt… unfamiliar.

Her brows furrowed as the bizarre sensation of what she expected to be able to clean up quickly prompted her to look down, and gaze curiously at what she’d… produced?

“Is this from me?” she mumbled, holding the tissue at arms length.

Her eyes flickered to the door. “Nick?” she called out.

Her eyes followed every pass he made, from bedside table to sliding door, but just because she sat calmly at the edge of their bed with the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder did not mean her outward appearance accurately portrayed how she felt. It had only been about forty-five seconds she’d been on hold but Callie was certain something closer to ten minutes had in fact passed.

“Do we even have a hospital bag ready?” Nick asked out loud, suddenly looking in all corners of the room. “Does Leo!?”

Callie didn’t stop him when he suddenly zoomed from the room, surely scouring Leos’, in search of the bag that too did not exist. The receiver picked up, and Callie snapped her fingers fervently. “Hi Doctor Sangui!” she said louder than necessary, and Nick was near tripping into the room half a second later.

“Yes- yeah, I’m calling because um- well me and Nick had just… finished, and I went to use the bathroom and this mucousy clot came out of me,” Callie reiterated flusteredly, scowling at her poor elaboration.

Nick stood anxiously, his arms crossed and rocking side to side as he listened.

“Uh-huh, yes. Yeah it was,” she spoke, eyes jumping here and there. “Nope those haven’t been consistent at all. Nope. No I’m good right now, no pain,” she answered, and then there was a long pause as she listened intently, but the more her face soured as the seconds ticked by, the more unease grew in Nick’s stomach.

“Speaker phone! Speaker phone! ” he tried hissing, but was silenced.

“So I should be alright then? No need to go in?” Callie verified, giving Nick the thumbs up to rest some of his worries she could see immediately fall off his shoulders. “Okay, thank you so much! We- yes next week, yep, you too, thank you, bye.” She finished, ending the call.

“It’s all good?” Nick still asked.

“It’s called a mucus plug,” she cringed, and although just the sound of it was off putting, his curiosity was greater.

“Plug?” he repeated.

“She said it’s like a barrier from the outside to keep infections out, and when it falls out it’s a precursor to birth,” she brought her hands together, her lips pursed as she too absorbed that vital, terrifying, exciting little piece of knowledge bestowed only moments ago, but she was far more concerned with Nick’s subtle signs of distress.

It was how he looked down at her stomach, then crossed his arms tight- like they suddenly felt empty. There was a weak smile, then in a few blinks she could’ve sworn his color was paling.

“Baby? You need to sit down?” she asked, almost about to stand when he waved his hand.

It was a few beats later before Nick could ask without feeling like he would vomit, “How- how soon, is um… soon? How now- um, soon?” he struggled, suddenly flustered and clasping his hands to keep their shake out of Callie’s sight.

“She said it could be hours or weeks,” Callie exhaled, her toes curling when he held his head and spun away, ambling into the hallway. “Are you breathing?” she called, watching him lean against the wall adjacent to the open door so he could still look at her.

He patted his chest, shaking his head. “ Hours? ”

“It’s either or baby,” she tried to comfort him, but the anxiety was rising in her like water coming to a rolling boil. “Is- is this too much? Is it finally hitting home?” she asked in a panic, her hands fisting at her sides.

“What- no!” he exclaimed, honestly taken aback. “Baby, baby no,” he had her face in his hands once coming back to her, leaning down to press loving kisses to her lips. “I just didn’t expect hours to be an option,”

“Me too,” she half laughed, holding onto his wrists. “Do you still wanna go today?”

“Do you? Are you feeling okay?” he checked, angling her face up so the light revealed her glowing skin that had come back after another bout of morning sickness.

“I’m good, first time all day I haven’t had any cramps actually and I don’t want to sit around here just waiting for something to happen if we do still have weeks,”

“You better not be lying just to avoid the hospital,”

“I like hospitals, mensito,” she clarified, gripping his hips to hoist herself up. “It’s the pelvic exams I’m trying to avoid,” she kissed his chin.

“ Calista ,” he barked.

“You know I’m joking, calm down daddy,” she patted his chest while waddling back towards bathroom, leaving Nick to chuff and glare at her backside.

“Why don’t we have bags packed?” Nick called, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom as she undressed with the shower already on.

“Cuz we’re waiting to see what we get at the shower today, remember?” she reminded, suddenly groaning and holding her stomach.

“What!? Whaav whaav !?” he panicked, rushing to her side.

She pouted up at him. “We’re hungry,”

It took a moment before Nick could calm down enough to chuff angrily at her, stomping out of the bathroom.

“Nick it’s a joke!” she laughed, leaning out of the doorway to watch him trudge into the bedroom.

“It’s not funny!”

She rolled her eyes while stepping back to the shower, cranking it to near boiling temperatures.

“No lava showers or I’ll hide all your maternity jeans!” Nick yelled on cue. Callie rolled her eyes again, adjusting the levels ever so slightly.

↠

Nick turned his jaw side to side to carefully observe his reflection, more so the deep scars that at last were fading into a less prominent tone across his brows, cheek and chin. He tilted his head and flicked his half severed ear; he’d surely never grow completely used to that, just like his filed tusks. His yellow eyes moved down to his chest in the foggy reflection of the mirror, and before he grabbed the damp towel to ball into the crook of his arm, he wiped the mirror down in the steamy room to better see how his image changed.

No matter how at ease he tried to appear holding the mock baby, he still found himself feeling awkward and stiff, even with both arms cradling the balled up towel.

He tried to imagine Leo there, with no idea how he’d look or how he’d react to his father cradling him despite the more than lively response he always received when whispering softly to Callie’s stomach.

But this just didn’t feel right.

Cuz you’re holding a towel, dumbass. Don’t overthink it. Nick tossed the towel into the hamper and with a few small spurts of his cologne across his chest, he walked out of the steamy bathroom.

“Hey you almost ready?” he peaked in the room, but didn’t find her there.

“I’m reh-ee,”

Ahh, kitchen. Nick grabbed his shoes before heading across the house, stifling a snort once coming upon her with both cheeks full of food. “Are you breathing between bites?”

“Fuh you,” she glared, chewing forcefully.

“Do you not want any of the food there?” he asked, ripping off a small piece of the kimchi she already had wrapped around a bite of rice.

“When he’s hungry there’s no waiting,” she better spoke this time, rocking side to side as she took the next hearty bite. “This is his favorite,” she noted, her eyes fluttering in pure delight.

Nick nodded, he too wrapping his own little bites up as she went on to dance goofily beside him, picking up small pieces of pork leftover from the previous nights dinner. The prior motive to leave was momentarily paused as they snacked, Nick wrapping little bites and feeding them to her as she loosely braided her long hair over her shoulder.

“Do you have a bathing suit packed?” he asked, but she shook her head.

“Wearing it underneath,” she chewed, and he spotted the bikini ties at the back of her neck. “I don’t even know if I’ll swim, honestly,”

“What, why?” he exclaimed. “If I have to swim you have to,”

“Do you have a globe attached to your stomach? I look like a planet,” she grumbled, sucking her fingertips clean.

Nick sucked his teeth clean, his eyes dragging up from her painted toenails and over the spaghetti strapped, navy blue sun dress that flowed gently down to above her knees, continuing on to her bare face that was grinning up at him with a cocked brow, her own pink scars now a part of the smooth plain of her face.

“If you were a planet you’d be the moon cuz you’re glowing,” he professed lovingly, and even though the comment on her size ruffled her feathers some, she couldn’t be mad at him. She felt like a star he’d talk to secretly every night, professing his love tenderly in ways that still surprised her.

Instead, she lightly punched his chest, finishing the last of the kimchi and rice.

“Ready then?” he asked.

A few more well balanced spins and the salsa’s she’d made were out of the fridge and added to the other items they carried in a couple beach bags hung on Nick’s arm, then coming to steady herself against his shoulder as she slipped her sandals on. With a few quick taps to their security system, he was walking slowly after her, swallowing low chuckles when watching her waddle side to side. From behind she was still small and curvy; it was fascinating when she’d turn to reveal that pregnancy swell that was quickly becoming the culprit of a few tip overs in recent days when her little legs couldn’t keep her upright.

Nick wouldn’t let her even attempt climbing into the truck until he had hands on her frame, ready to catch her if she tumbled back despite the low protests.

“Baby I can do it myself,” she grunted, but he scoffed.

“Just wait a second-” Nick called, struggling to pull his jeans up whilst Callie was already grabbing her keys.

“I’m fine, I need to get out of the house,” she waved him off, slipping out the front door after looping her purse onto the crook of her arm.

“Cal!” Nick called, growling when the button to his jeans didn’t agree with him. “Callie!”

“I’ll bring back snacks!”

“Stubborn-” he grumbled, hastily pulling his shoes on. “Brat!”

He was across the house- without his phone, but whatever- in two seconds, throwing the door open and gliding across the patio and down the stairs just as she’d hoisted herself up onto the running board of the truck.

“Callie c’mon,”

She only turned enough to look at him, but that small shift threw off her balance. Her grip was neither strong or prepared for her center of gravity to swing, and her own stomach flung her back onto the hard concrete below.

Only a semblance of her name was punched from him before bolting to her side in panic.

“If you hadn’t distracted me…” she murmured, but he pinched her thigh.

“If you would’ve kept your ass on that couch, you mean?” he corrected, but she stopped him.

“How do you expect me to be okay sitting around all day?”

“The same way I expect you to ask me to take you somewhere, anywhere you want as long as it means you’re not doing things that are gonna put you and Leo at risk,” Nick spoke vehemently, stifling Callie’s quick remarks.

She stared irritably, fingers drumming against her stomach. Her Orc only moved to lean against the door so he could keep looking at her, his amber eyes calm, yet resilient.

Callie sighed. “You don’t get it,”

“I get it to an extent. I was holed up in there for two months once,”

“I took you everywhere with me!”

“And I loved that but yeah, there were times when I wanted to do things on my own. I get it, Cal. I do,” he held her hand in her lap. “But you have this little boy attached to you. Just one more month you have to put up with me and you can go off wherever you want, but for now please just let me help,”

Callie scoffed, unable to pull from his pleadful pout. “You’ll let me run off with Leo in my arms but not in my stomach?”

“You’ll be able to run again with him in your arms,” he grinned. She smiled, caressing his cheek. It was times like these she tried to remind herself to be thankful he was so attentive and concerned with her well-being when he could’ve been the type of man who showed no interest at all, even when she was feeling crowded.

“One month and not a day more,” she played.

“Deal.” He even held his forearm up to bump hers, making sure she was tucked in before closing the door.

He already had his Clubmasters on by the time he climbed in beside her, forever adjusting the seat back to his settings before backing out of the driveway.

The cool breeze that tossed loose flyaways around was a welcome sensation over her invariably flushed skin as the sun hit her side of the car. Nick glanced over when she let out an audible moan of relief, her head leaned back and arm stretched into the forceful wind. Although it would’ve spoiled the shower they’d both been looking forward to for weeks, inwardly, Callie wished the rain that had blessed LA a couple weeks ago was still falling. She could stand warm weather, even the humidity that made her hair stand on end, but the white hot sun glaring down at her was just aggravating.

“At this rate I’m gonna spend the day in the pool,” she groaned.

“I think everyone else will too, honestly.” Nick nodded; he was already over the heat and they still had the second half of summer to make it through.

Thankfully Rosie’s wasn’t a trek across LA like everyone else seemed to be, but Callie was still eager to get inside once turning into her long driveway that was lined with baby blue and gold balloons, lines of sparkling raindrops hanging over the entrance of the wide patio.

“Wow,” Nick marveled, taking a moment to stare.

“Rosie goes all out for parties,”

“Yeah she does,” he intoned, quickly exiting the truck to help her down from her seat.

She gently ran her fingers across the decorations they walked under once before the door, letting themselves in.

The foyer was also covered in the shimmery balloons leading down past the staircase and into the wide family room where the furniture had been moved aside for fold out tables with snacks covered with baby blue table cloths and chubby star and cloud table settings surrounded by candles.

“Oh thank goodness she didn’t do the lions,” Callie mumbled, smirking when Nick elbowed her.

Everywhere they turned was some kind of explosion of cuteness, whether it be little golden star sprinkles littered across the breakfast bar where the booze was chilling or tissue paper ruffled and taped to the rim of the bucket that held all the ice. Everything was adorned and beautiful, the summer light coming in bouncing off the shimmery surfaces.

“Ah, mija! There you are!” Luciana came from Rosie’s wide kitchen holding a heavy pot filled to the brim with marinated chicken ready to grill.

“Where’s Rosie?” Callie asked, waddling over to give her mom a quick peck on the cheek as Nick took the pot for her.

“She had to run to the store for more plates,” she cooed, leaning down to pat and rub Callie’s stomach until she was chased away. From outside, Callie could hear that Dyani and Joaquin had seen Nick and were likely glomping him; often they’d use their towering uncle as a jungle gym, but Nick had just as much fun tossing them around like ragdolls.

“What can I help with?” Callie asked, her purse set down beside the bags Nick had stashed against the back of a couch.

“Nada, go sit somewhere ,” her mother ordered as she turned her daughter to push towards the backyard.

“Ma not you too,” Callie whined, reluctantly waddling towards the glass double doors that lead to the sprawling backyard.

“ Me and Trish have it under control ,”

Callie planted her feet, turning to face her mother. “She came ?”

“Hey,”

Just a moment she took to close her eyes and mentally prepare herself before turning to face her sister, but her determination to remain cold and calculated faltered when two big, dark eyes looked up at her from Patricia’s arms.

Callie’s heel started bouncing. “She’s getting big,”

“So are you,” her smile was guiltless; it made Callie want to slug her.

You’re lucky you have that baby in your arms, you witch. “That often comes with pregnancy, thank you for pointing it out,”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Patricia rolled her eyes.

“Think before you open your mouth then,” Callie smiled, again moving to leave.

“Wait, can we talk please?”

“You gonna tell me how fat my ankles are too?”

“Callie,” she touched her arm, prompting her to turn. “Please?”

Luciana had already left, eager to give her daughters the space they needed to make up, but Callie saw it as abandonment. How many times or different ways would she have to voice that she didn’t want to make up when there was nothing she’d done wrong?

Yet here she was again, cornered. With a low groan and tilt of her head, she nodded. “Can I at least meet my niece?”

Happily she handed Yareli over and despite following Trish into the kitchen with the ominous presence of dread, she smiled lovingly down at the baby girl that peered curiously up at her tia, a wide smile curling her gummy face when Callie pressed kisses into her cheek.

Oh how she’d fought the urge over the past few months to call Rosie and set up a secret meeting with the beautiful little girl in her arms, and now she found herself bubbling with love, and even some hot tears burning her eyes.

In addition to just meeting her, she hadn’t seen Tomas in almost a year…

Trish turned to face Callie once they were stood at the far corner of the kitchen, pushing loose strands of hair behind her ears. “How’ve you been?”

“Keeping busy,” she answered, swaying side to side with Yare sat on her stomach.

Trish nodded. “Still have a couple months left before he pops?”

“Only a month,”

Her brows furrowed. “I thought-”

“He’s a halfling, they grow fast,”

“I didn’t know-”

“He’s half Orc, it’s kind of obvious,” Callie snapped knowing it wasn’t common knowledge, but she couldn’t keep her temper in check.

“Calista,” Trish exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“ Patricia ,”

“I’m trying here,” she implored.

“You think showing up and helping out is gonna fix everything? Do you remember what you did?”

“Does it matter if I’m trying to apologize?” she rolled her eyes.

It was a moment that Callie could only stare at her, her heart plummeting into her stomach. “You went out of your way to remind me more than once that it was solely my fault every time I had a miscarriage,”

“That was-”

“When I didn’t want to talk, because you were a monster, you made it your personal goal to remind me that I was dead to you,” her voice shook now, handing Yare back to her sister.

“There was a lot going on you don’t know about,” Trish sighed, wincing when Yare grabbed a fistful of her hair.

“Bullshit. Everyone has shit to deal with but family- my own fucking sister shouldn’t do that over something you never had any business weighing in on in the first place!”

“You were making a mistake and didn’t see that- you always do this,” Trish battled, her viper side coming forth.

Callie’s eyes narrowed. “Nick wasn’t a mistake,”

“That’s not what I meant-” Trish tried, but Callie’s hand rose.

“I’m done, Trish. I’m done, just… you get on with your life and I will with mine.” Callie ended the brief, heated exchange, realizing as she stepped away to head into the backyard that it would likely be one of the last times she saw or held Yareli; there was no knowing if she’d ever see her nephew again and that there’d be no returning to happier days with her sister she formerly looked up to for her strength. It wasn’t just ending it with her sister, but a portion of her family, but she wouldn’t allow herself to be smothered beneath her thumb anymore.

Callie was a little winded by the time she made it into the backyard and had found a seat at the patio set, slowly lowering onto one of the cushioned benches.

A robust flush coated her skin, the ire that spoiled her mood matching its power. It tingled in her toes and fingers; had she not been swollen with pregnancy, Callie could confidently say she would’ve momentarily reverted back to her more fiery, high school mindset and decked her sister right in the fucking-

“Calista?” Luciana’s soft call came, and Callie looked up just as her mother had sat beside her, her aged eyes finding the despair in Callie’s.

“ Why did Trish leave ?” she asked.

“ Why else, she didn’t get her way ,”

“ Calista ,” her mother exhaled.

“Don’t,” Callie held up her finger, fed up and unwilling to be the one everyone looked to blame. “Do not . It’s not my fault she’s such a-”

“ She was trying to fix it ,” Luciana pleaded, but Callie pulled her arm from her mother’s touch, looking out to Nick who was still swinging the kids off his arms.

“No she wasn’t. She wasn’t going to apologize,”

“Mija-”

“Ma please!” she snapped.

Nick slowed, squinting past the sun at his lover. Something wasn’t right.

“I’m done trying to get back in her good graces when she does nothing to fix what she did. I know she tells everyone her side of it but there’s two sides. My side that no one cares about, and if you’re at all interested in it then I’ll tell you another day, okay? Can it just end at that for now?” Callie urged, ready to leave if her own mother didn’t grant her this one small request.

It was clear Luciana wanted this to be settled now rather than later judging by the way she reluctantly nodded, but her agreeing was all Callie wanted. At this point the entire issue at hand could never be revisited and she’d be content with that, but life just wasn’t that easy. She knew it would come back around at some point when Trish started to stir again.

A lingering kiss was left on Callie’s head before Luciana stood creakily to move back into the house just as Rosie and Daryl had returned, leaving her to lean back on her hands and stifle a low groan when a roll of sharp cramps fired up her belly.

“Of course,” she ground out, her head dropping back.

“Braxton’s or Leo?” Nick asked, and she peered over to find him leaned against a beam without kids climbing all over him anymore.

“Braxton,” she frowned.

He hmm -ed, finding a spot next to her. His cheek rested at the top of her head when she leaned into him, counting between long breaths that did little to ease the cramps but were favored over just sitting and suffering through. A quick glance down revealed Leo was kicking, likely bothered by his already cramped home tightening around him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Nick asked, bumping his knee into hers.

She shook her head. “The problem left so let’s leave it at that,”

Ahh. “At least she left all the food she bought,” he said below his breath. Only when she chuckled did he, his thick arm coming to hang around her shoulder whilst placing a few kisses on her cheek.

“You two are neverending with the cuddling,”

Callie spun- as best she could- in her seat and gasped. “Hey!” Callie exclaimed, grunting as she stood to meet Morn who held her one year old on her hip.

“Hey, baby,” Morn smiled, hugging Callie tightly around the neck one-armed and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hi mamas! Que paso hermosa?” Callie went on to sweet talk, lifting the beaming, kicking little Orc from Morn’s arms to hang off her own hip.

“Munguz!” she moved to Nick next, their forearms bumping before they exchanged quick hugs. “How’ve you guys been?”

“Good, same old stuff, how about you and this little one?” Nick asked, leaning down to smile at the pretty eyed girl who was the same hue as Morn and whose little tusks were starting to peak from behind her lip.

“Lots of Yo Gabba Gabba and chewing,” she sighed, evoking a giggle from Callie. “Won’t be laughing when your own is gnawing on your tit,”

“S’that why yours are deflated?” Callie smirked.

Morn grinned. “Bitch,”

“Bith,” the little girl repeated, tugging on Callie’s necklace.

“Oh no, no no ukour, Dejza, don'av ukaausan avhaav,” Morn frowned and smacked her own mottled hand despite Nick and Callie turning cheek to laugh.

“Yeah don’t listen to mama, she foul mouthed,” Callie whispered. “Que asco,”

“You wanna call me foul mouthed when your nickname for this dude is tall boy ?”

“Both of you are foul,” Nick hissed, snatching the little girl from Callie’s arm and moving inside to find her snacks. Dejza was already excitedly switching between hitting and biting his shoulder, giggling when he growled at her.

“Munguz is adapting well it seems,”

“It helps having an army of kids around a lot,” Callie let out a pleased sigh, tugging on her wrist towards the tables lined with snacks and massive, golden balloons spelling Leo.

“At least there’s hope for him,” Morn intoned, her painted nails dancing over the elegant champagne glasses and bottles of beer.

Callie looked at her. “Things aren’t any better with Tandzh?”

The double set of silver hoops hanging from her pointed ears chimed when she shook her head. “I haven’t heard from him in a few weeks,”

“Not even to see Dejza?”

There was a pause before she scoffed lowly, grabbing a bottle of tequila by the neck to poor into a solo cup. “Why would he come see her when he didn’t even want her?”

Callie looked down at the swirling her drink. “He said that?”

Morn nodded, throwing the booze back with ease. There was a slight grimace, but with a slow exhale, she poured herself another. “I thought I could change him, but I was wrong,”

There wasn’t much of anything Callie could’ve offered to alleviate the harsh reality her beloved friend was living, but there was at least the repeated promise of everlasting help and support she could again present and offer, plus the arm around her waist with her head against her shoulder. To most it wasn’t much, but to Morn the hug meant everything when she’d so silently yearned for support.

“Anyways,” she cleared her throat after unwinding her arm from around Callie’s neck and pouring another slug. “Cut me off after this next shot,”

“We’re having a party, don’t worry about it. There’s a whole nation of people coming to help watch Dejza,”

Morn grinned around her ivory tusks that had newly been treated with gold carvings, matching her molten eyes beautifully. “Thanks, lambchop,”

Callie’s buoyant smile was interrupted by another sharp cramp; one that pinched an eye shut and called for a hand to the achy crook of her back.

“Someone’s close to comin’ out,” Morn pursed her lips in a quirky smirk, gently drumming her fingers against her stomach.

Callie blew a raspberry. “Please, I still have a month left,”

“Baby you got two weeks at most left, look how low your belly is,” she observed, and Callie looked down in wonder.

“Is it?” she muttered, but from her vantage point, it looked like any other day. Not even a few far leans and trying to observe her silhouette in the reflection of the windows did her any good.

“What’re you doing?”

They both turned to find Nick standing at the entrance, Dejza in the crook of one arm and his other hand holding a popsicle up for her to gnaw on, small grunts and chuffs slipping past her busy jaws.

“Does my stomach look lower?”

“Nah,” he shook his head, but upon a longer look, his brows pulled together in thought, his head slowly tilting. “Well actually, you do look a little deflated. Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, rubbing her stomach. “It’s a little easier to breathe, actually,”

“Told you,” Morn smiled.

“What? Told you what?” Nick asked, the alarm rising.

Just as her mouth had opened, a loud collection of loud welcomings coming from inside caught all of their attention, and soon came cousins of Callie’s that Rosie was ushering outside. It appeared to be only a handful of individuals, but if there was one thing Nick had come to learn about her family over the years, it was that the way they clustered was much like that of an iceberg: the majority of their mass was hidden from plain sight.

They all took turns hugging Callie and greeting Nick, most of them even sweet talking the little girl in his arms he wouldn’t openly admit he was using as a shield. Morn scowled at him, but Nick dished out a cheeky grin.

After the first wave, Morn finally snatched Dejza back, hissing in Orkish at Nick who was more upset over losing his little buddy.

“Oh I’m already over-heating,” Callie fanned her face. “We should go hide in the pool,”

“There’s already a game a’chicken going on,” Nick pointed out.

“And there goes my hiding spot,” she unenthusiastically smiled, further deflating.

“You’re the star today,”

“Leo is, I’m just the middle man,” she sassed, chuffing- which was actually just a forceful exhale through her nose- back at him. “That’s gonna be the first thing your son learns,”

“It’s gonna be so cute,” he lamented, blocking a swift slap to his arm. It ignited a small mock fight, one that Nick found himself having to refrain from picking her up and tossing her in the pool.

“Assault on a pregnant woman is a class A felony,”

Nick spun. “Hey, partner!” he called happily, moving to greet Ward alongside Sophia at the door.

His friend had since shaken the hard edge to his shoulders, the deep glower that warded off most replaced with a drowsy grin, and had even packed on a few healthy pounds. It hadn’t been long ago that Daryl had suffered through a period of sleepless nights and deep paranoia that had severely impacted his health, so to see the color had come back to his face and scent of illness was gone brought great relief to Nick. All he wanted was peace for his best friend.

They exchanged brief hugs, but Daryl’s hold on his shoulders stopped him once Nick was at arms length. He clapped his hand there, further confusing Nick.

“It’s hard to believe I’m attending your baby shower when it wasn’t too long ago you were a lonely virgin,”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Nick shoved his hands back, shooting Callie a look when she laughed. “‘Bout to ask how you’ve been but now I don’t give a shit,”

“Good, cuz nothin’ is new,” Ward explained. “Get so bored now I actually consider comin’ back to work,”

“Mama said you’re gonna move into the guest room if you do that,” Sophia piped, looking at her father with her hands over Leo who’d woken after hearing Nick speak.

Callie pulled her lips in to hide her smile, but it didn’t do much to actually mask it.

“Thank you, sweetie,” Ward intoned, slugging Nick on the arm when he too did little to mask his own amusement. “Don’t you go actin’ like Callie wouldn’t do the same thing,”

“There’s more effective methods than that, your wife is just cruel,” she countered, a sharp brow cocking.

Even Morn snorted that time, pretending to be deeply enthralled with the sparkling streamers Dejza’d had her eyes on.

Ward’s sour-puss stare was comical, but Nick decided he’d had enough and ushered him towards the table lined elegantly with lush choosings all glistening in full bottles. Somehow Nick convinced him to throw one Orkish vodka back, promising a quicker buzz. It was sharp, almost freezing with the slightest trace of teaberry, but after he took a few breaths to cover the burning across his tongue, Ward was impressed that his cheeks felt rosy right away.

Callie had warned Nick to not find himself completely wasted and face down in the water seeing as this celebration was equally his to be had, but she blessed him with one of her Long Island iced teas he absolutely loved, the Orkish vodka and rum of course taking it’s tame competitors place.

He kissed her on the cheek before running off with Ward, likely to further heighten their tipsiness under one of the umbrellas perched at the rented tables covering the expansive yard.

“You want the shade?” Nick asked behind a chair, but Ward waved him off.

“Nah the sun feels good. Been cooped up for weeks,” he exhaled as he melted into the padded seat, sipping generously on his drink.

“Want me to bring you on a ride-along?” Nick poked, pleased with his own joke. “Sherri couldn’t hate you for that, could she?”

Ward looked down at his drink, swirling the cup so the ice chattered. “F’not that she’d find something else to hate me over,”

Nick halted his teasing, overlooking the somber tone of his face. “How’s Sophia managing it?”

A long sigh. “She doesn’t know I’ve already been livin’ in that guest room,”

Nick nodded, looking to Callie who was hugging a friend that had come with her own teens that’d found the shady, quiet corner of the yard with the other ones their age. She waved secretly to him once she had the moment, motioning that she had her eyes on how much he was drinking.

“Don’t fuck it up with Cal like I did Sherri,” Ward said into his cup, but Nick scoffed.

“If we’re at this point, I don’t feel bad saying that Sherri was just a bitch,”

There was a pause, but Ward eventually nodded. “Not all her fault though. Maybe I’m just not made for marriage,”

“Ahh it’s only your second one,” Nick reasoned.

“Should’ve only ever been one,”

The Orc shrugged. “Third times the charm.” He grinned toothily, but straightened up when more family was directed towards his table.

Callie juggled greeting all of the family and friends, but just as she directed them towards Nick, she equally enjoyed watching the impressive tower of diaper boxes people brought under their arms growing by the gift table. At the rate they were going, Leo would be covered for a few months at the very least.

Sergey and Dura popped up soon enough, and when both Callie and Dura found difficulty in hugging one another because of both their bulging bellies, they both questioned why they hadn’t just thrown a joint shower.

With a quick hug around Callie and a cautionary glance in Morn’s direction- who he could’ve sworn he’d seen at a Fogteeth brawl at one point- he was off jogging to Nick and Ward, wiggling between them to dive in on the drinking and gossip.

Dura was just as eager to find a seat as Callie did after Morn insisted she keep her ass parked in a seat and let people come to her, but she only settled after convincing the both of them to strip down to their bathing suits with her and stick their feet in the pool.

Biting down the greater majority of a spiteful glare was near impossible on Callie’s part; Morn had snapped back to her slim figure after having Dejza, and there Callie was feeling like a watermelon with arms and legs as she waddled beside them to the pool.

Yet even as she worried people would tease her size, she couldn’t help but laugh as Dura did when they both struggled to help one another down.

And as people found their way over for hugs and smiles, despite even being beside the pool, it did work out better because the men eventually followed them over, but their rambunctious sides were coming out with every finished drink. They flung themselves into the pool, yelling like barbarians and Ward even mimicking Nick and Sergey when they flexed their arms and biceps, hollering in typical war Orc stances.

But soon more kids started to pile in; her endless list of cousins all had kids, not to mention some of the older tias and tios who still had some coming. Soon enough it wasn’t just the two grown Orcs and human thrashing like wild animals in the pool, but a swarm of little ones that drove them back to the steps where the girls sat soaking in the sun, their shades pulled down. It was near perfect timing, too. They’d started to worry one of them wouldn’t come up from beneath every time they were thrown aside, the beer cans piling beside the pool.

Nick wiggled back between Callie’s knees, his arms hung over her thighs and the cold skin of his back pressed against her stomach. It was a pleasant sensation on her part. He nudged his head back against her until she finally stuck his Clubmasters on his face, but he caught two familiar silhouettes coming their way.

“Look who’s here,” he jerked his chin in their direction, already grinning.

Callie looked over and gasped. “Matuk!” she joyfully exclaimed, pushing Nick forward so she could struggle onto her feet.

Her silent, lumbering friend simply opened his arms with a half hidden grin, leaning down to hug her tightly when she finally made it upright.

“Sorry we’re late,” he apologized, moving to bump forearms with Nick and shake hands with Sergey and Ward. Daryl stared up at him suspiciously, instantly recognizing the silver chains hanging around his neck.

“I’m just glad you made it. Hi Lala!” she smiled, moving to embrace Matuk’s much slimmer and smaller boyfriend.

“Oh my god the last time I saw you there wasn’t even a bump yet!” he declared, holding her hands up once they’d unwrapped from one another.

“Has it been that long?” Nick asked, squinting up at Matuk who shrugged.

“He doesn’t take me anywhere anymore,” Lala pouted, but Matuk reached over to wiggle his chin.

“Ah he’s busy Lala, hush up,” Morn rolled her eyes, having drifted from her conversation with Ward once they’d showed up.

“I’m gonna start making lunches at home instead of sending them so he’ll visit me,” Lala went on, smirking up at Matuk’s dark blush.

Callie had used Nick to sit back down where she once before, and it was then being at eye level with their feet did she spot something rather surprising.

“Are those Gucci slides, you boujie bitch?” she pointed, glancing up at him.

“Oh!” Lala posed, a gentle hand on his own thigh. “Yes, daddy bought those for me,” he suspired, an arm securing around Matuk with his cheek against his shoulder.

Nick and Sergey both choked on their drinks, but the girls could only cover their faces in laughter, leaving Matuk to quickly stomp away towards the drink table, his ears red hot and Lala trailing behind innocently until he caught his hand.

Matuk still hooked an arm behind his neck, people parting as the two Orcs strode over to the drinks.

It wasn’t until the chit-chat between Dura and Callie had died down that Nick nudged her silently, motioning in Ward and Morn’s direction. Callie found them chest deep in the water and hidden in the shade, lost in conversation that had only grow more enthralling as the minutes ticked by. Callie had always figured Ward would have difficulty speaking to any other Orc besides Nick and Sergey, but now he was being almost charming , which was something not commonly witnessed coming from such a normally salty individual.

And Morn looked just as glamorous, her witty remarks and gift at keeping conversation rolling no matter what direction it took more than enough to hold Ward’s attention.

“I feel like I should give him a heads up,” Nick mumbled, meeting Callie’s confused expression. “He doesn’t know how Orcs are in bed,”

Callie smacked the back of his head with a wet hand, but before Nick could retaliate with a splash of water, everyone scattered about the yard was called in once the food had finally finished cooking just as Nick’s parents and more extended family had arrived.

They brought with them their own unique feasts: marinated, smoked and shredded pork, the mountains of sides like potatoes and grains and pastries, and of course what Oleg started offering generously to the other fathers of the family: robust shots of Orkish whiskey that guaranteed to turn eyes red.

After helping Rosie finish heating up the last of the tortillas and bread, Dinara came out to keen lovingly over Callie, who in agreeance with Morn, insisted she didn’t have much longer judging by the state of her dropped belly.

The massive mob of family and friends all piled the selections high on their plates, moving to one of the many tables laid out or even sitting on a tossed towel under the shade of the few trees in Rosie and Daryl’s backyard.

The kids were ordered to keep out of the pool until they’d finished eating, but were free to take bites between sprinting games of tag, some of the young Orkish children teaching smaller ones how to wrestle.

Another majority had formed around Nick and Callie where they’d chosen to sit at the main table, the topics of conversation flipping as fast as the flip of a coin.

They at one point even demonstrated how lively Leo became when Nick talked to her stomach but then having to waddle around for a while to settle him back down. Yet as long as she kept piling the food, unable to resist dipping her hands into all the savory, delicious options, Leo would keep jumping in joy.

Just before everyone had began to clean up their empty plates and most of the kids had exhausted enough to lay in the cooling grass at sunset with popsicles, Callie silently, and with a coy smile, watched Morn nervously invite Ward along in tow of Rosie when Daryl and herself offered anyone to ‘partake’. Where she’d expect hesitation, Ward looked starry eyed when he nodded and stood to follow her,Callie happily accepting Dejza and winking up at her friend who wore a bright smile around her tusks.

“Am I the only one seeing that?” Sergey leaned over towards Nick, pointing obviously at Ward and Morn’s departure. “Isn’t he married?”

“Barely.” Nick scoffed, in addition laughing at Sergey’s perplexed expression.

After some maneuvering of the tables and Callie’s mock throne covered in balloons and more sparkly streamers was dragged over, she was sat before the impressive pile of gifts and literal mountain of diapers she insisted Nick take a photo of her beside.

Neither of them were really given a chance to change out of their bathing suits before having the first of the gifts dropped in their laps or the photos that began to flash as they graciously opened them all, one by one.

From Dura and Sergey they were gifted a homemade thick woven blanket for Leo, painted in soft tones of earthy reds and browns, some splashes of gold here and there. Callie held the blanket close to her chest, thanking them lovingly.

Morn had found the bag Callie had dubbed impossible to find: a diaper bag that wouldn’t sit bulkily under her arm nor a backpack that looked like a turtle shell. Somehow, with that vague yet steadfast preference she managed to find a messenger bag that could hold plenty in it’s divided main compartments but wouldn’t puff up like a pillow if all the items were lined up correctly.

Callie winked at her once spotted how closely she sat to Ward, Dejza sleeping peacefully against her chest.

Matuk saw it and shuddered.

But his displeased expression was squandered once they moved onto the gift he and Lala had both bought together, and the one Dorghu had personally sent along with them when his attendance wasn’t expected.

Nick waited to open the bag in his hand, much more curious as to what was inside the small, teel box tied elegantly with a white ribbon Callie carefully unfolded.

Her eyes softened once the light from the hanging lamps above them shined down on the golden bracelet showcased softly in the box, Leonardo engraved into its face.

It hit home for Callie then. Why this bracelet and not the already building pile of onesies or little booties her cousin had gifted them was the thing to bring clarity to the thought that soon Leo would be laid in her hold was unknown, but she blinked back hot tears, keeping the small box close to her side.

Nick was earlier instructed to open his half of the present in private, but he almost buckled until both Matuk and Morn shook their heads. Nick chuffed, setting the box aside.

Callie was lost in a stream of squeals whilst opening Oleg and Dinara’s gift. The same winter sweater Nick had worn as a baby was clutched in her arms, wailing hysterically at the significance and cuteness of it despite Nick trying to get a look at the small article of clothing he couldn’t believe he once fit in. That too was kept close to her side, clutching Dinara’s hand thoughtfully.

And on it went, bag after box after wrapped gifts that would secure Leo’s wardrobe and toiletry needs for a solid six months at least, not to mention a few of those gifts given to Callie; a few sleeping gowns that were baby friendly, some gift cards, things she’d put into good use.

Although most of them were stuffed, most found room for a slice of the round red velvet cake with small candied jewels shaped like raindrops gleaming around it, a small standing moon and stubby stars sat at its base, but not before Callie took a photo from every angle, marveling at its beauty.

Only when she’d convinced Nick to let her take a photo of him cutting it did she ease up, threatening to behead anyone who tried smashing cake in her face.

Her warnings were well respected, and after everyone had been served a slice, they at last settled into their spots to run out the remainder of the party, but with the barbeque still warm and reheating food, it looked like it could go well into the warm summer night.

A stool had been slyly stolen from under a few kids who they tricked into jumping into the pool so Callie could keep her feet up, and thankfully Nick’s beefy shoulder was there to lean back into after he looped an arm behind her shoulders.

With Dyani passed out at her side and Nick lost in a cloud of chatter with his dad and Sergey, Callie once again had her sights set on Morn and Daryl.

She thought by now Morn would’ve noticed her staring and shot her a look, but her pretty amber eyes were trained on Ward, their proximity continuing to close ever so slightly as the night drew on. At one point she could’ve sworn she saw Ward take a half step closer to brush his knuckles against hers, but it was hard to tell if Morn’s tusked smile was that of bashfulness, or trying to pull him in closer.

“What’re you staring at?” Nick whispered against the shell of her ear, and she inconspicuously used her raised pinky to point at them when she sipped her drink.

Nick’s coordination wasn’t as graceful as he swung his head in their direction. “Where’s Dejza?”

“You mom snatched her a while ago,”

He snorted. “Figures,” Nick took a hearty gulp of his beer. “If I hear those two end up dating I’m gon’ give him the same shit he gave me,”

“He didn’t give you shit,” Callie snickered.

“Defending him now?” he snarled quietly, but she jabbed his side.

“They look like they have good chemistry, don’t ruin it for him,”

Nick took another hard look, noting the relaxed manner of his friends shoulders. “Yeah I guess you have a point,”

“What if we just set up soul mates?”

Nick’s chuckle was low. “We didn’t set them up,”

“In a way we did. Third times the charm,” she whimsied.

“Morn’s been married twice?” he asked, and she nodded. “Poor thing,”

“She always did come off a little more human tempered than Orc,” Callie observed.

“Ward’s got a mouth like an Orc, they even each other out,” Nick said into his cup as she giggled. “He found the Callie to his Nick.”

Her smile up at him was dazzling, her big eyes catching the lights above them and twinkling beautifully. He kissed her cheek before she snuggled tight against him, a lopsided smile remaining as she looked down at Leo’s soft bumps.

It took a few trips between the truck and their house before all the gifts were at last piled haphazardly in Leo’s room, ready for organization some other day, but definitely soon.

Morn’s words had hung in her mind the remainder of the day, bringing her anxiety up a notch, but this would’ve happened eventually as she approached her due date. But as the days went from a month down to a mere fourteen days, maybe seven- a week, Callie couldn’t help but feel like she needed to start organizing promptly despite the exhaustion and slight burn across her shoulders urging her to lay on the cold sheets of their bed.

In greater caution she stepped carefully, taking her time to stand from a seat or asking Nick to pick up objects she’d drop, going out of her way to make sure her body had no extra reason to rush in labor early.

Maybe a couple more weeks would be better.

Peeling off the cold bikini and slipping into one of Nick’s big shirts sent goosebumps all over her skin, her damp hair falling around her shoulders so she could scratch her scalp. The sunscreen that did little to help was washed from her face, and with a gulp of water went her final vitamin of the day.

She padded quietly from the bathroom to find Nick’s back to her at the dinner table.

“You okay?” she asked, walking around his arm.

In his hands was a brand new, glossy Fogteeth jersey he’d pulled from the gift Matuk and Morn had told him to open in private, and now the two understood why.

Munguz was embroidered in Orkish across the back once Nick lifted it clear from the tissue paper, a breathless scoff punching from his chest.

“My mom would’ve fainted if she saw this,” he realized, studying the silky material just as Callie did.

“Your captain would, too,” she added, both of them chuckling. Surely one of the other officers at the party would’ve let it slip he’d been gifted an official jersey, and they didn’t need that kind of heat falling on them. “Do you not like it?”

“No, I really like it, actually. Just caught me off guard,” he explained.

Callie looked back to the box, and upon pulling back the tissue paper found a small note card scribbled in Orkish. “What’s this?”

Nick took it, his eyes scanning over the words. “From my clan to yours. We take care of our own and theirs,” he read. Callie grinned when she understood it’s meaning.

“You should try it on,” she suggested, holding his shirt when he pulled it off.

It was snug around his biceps and chest, but Callie wouldn’t outwardly express that as an issue, even when he swung his arms in mild discomfort.

“I think they’re supposed to be like that,” she made up, ogling.

“Matuk’s wasn’t like this,”

“I’m sure he got to pick his own size though,”

“Ehh, true. Look good?” he posed, catching her heavy eyes moving up and down his frame. “Are you undressing me with your eyes?”

“Trying to but you’re still fully clothed,” she frowned.

Nick’s ears flicked, but just as he’d motioned to remove the jersey, she stopped him, her small palms sliding into his.

“Leave it on, munguz,” she breathed against his mouth. Nick’s brows raised, carefully kissing her parted lips before his mouth wandered to her neck with another step closer. The smallest of breaths blew past his ear when he leaned slightly forward to hold her, his mighty grip landing on her ass.

“You’re into costumes now?” he groused, his heavy touch dragging up her hips under the shirt.

“I’m into you,” she mumbled, kissing him when his lips sought hers. “So I’m into this,” she moaned as her hands slid up his broad chest, his fingers digging into her sides as hers hooked around the collar.

Nick chuffed softly, appreciatively when she stroked him through his trunks, already warmed up and ready to roll.

She gasped when he suddenly dipped down to scoop her up bridal style against his chest, her arm securing behind his neck and her other hand holding his jaw so she could kiss him. He briskly stepped into their room, kicking the door shut behind him all with his mouth still locked against hers.

↠

It was some time before he decided to open his eyes after waking but remaining still, enjoying the soft humming of their fan and the breeze gliding across his bare form. The room was dark when he dared a glimpse; still nighttime.

With an arm tossed back, he quickly assessed Callie wasn’t there, but the lack of heat on the sheets told him she hadn’t been there for some time.

Nick rolled, sitting up on an elbow and searching blindly under the pillows for his phone.

He squinted at the bright screen; it was two AM. A look at the door revealed the light coming from the other side, and with a grunt he sat up, taking his time to yawn and try to reach the itchy, fresh scratches covering his back but went ham on the ones across his chest.

Maybe smacking her hand when she bit her nails wasn’t the best idea, afterall…

A quick step into his sweats and a few wobbly steps later brought him into the hallway, looking with narrow eyes at the illuminated kitchen.

His sleepy steps had gone unnoticed until he rapped his knuckles softly against the kitchen entrance, grinning when he found her in a sports bra and tights, a couple gallon bags opened with spoons dipped into the food.

She looked at him with round cheeks, her messy hair pinned into a bun. “I got hungry,” she admitted shyly, taking a bite of a rolled tortilla.

He nodded with his arms crossed and leaned in the entryway, a smirk teasing her.

“Want some?” she offered, but he shook his head, choosing to shuffle over and wrap his arms under her bust from behind, kiss landing behind her ear. Callie giggled, trying to pinch her shoulder in before finally dropping it and holding his strong arms, her cheek pressing into his kiss all with a bitten slice of cheese held up.

“It’s gonna be common soon seeing you up at this hour,” he said quietly.

“Midnight snacks with Leo?”

“Well you’re his snack,” he teased, hiding his smile when she smacked his arm playfully. He found himself consumed by sleepiness the longer he swayed back and forth, his face pressed into her neck as she nibbled the selections before her.

Soon their home would rarely be silent, yet at the same time he couldn’t imagine it growing any more lively compared to how silent it was a few years prior.

“You’re almost there.” Nick reassured her, holding tighter when her head leaned against his.

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did we just slyly progress leo's birth by 2 weeks? i think we did 😨

63 notes · View notes

let-it-raines · 5 years ago

Text

Catch Me If You Can (28/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/n: I know everyone is caught up in JJ Sneed land if my dash is any indication, but I know some people are itching for a new chapter today! So here we are!

Also, everyone go check out this FANTASTIC piece of artwork from @imagnifika | here | because it’s awesome, and I’m still blown away by it and seeing this story come to life in someone else’s eyes! Let me stare at it forever. Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading all these words and being a great encourager! 💙

AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @stunningswan @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @superchocovian @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings

-/-

There are technically eight different types of cookies, and it all depends on how exactly they’re baked or, well, not baked. This isn’t something Killian knew until about two o’clock this morning when he was googling cookie recipes desperate to find something other than chocolate chip cookies to bake. But then he got sucked into a wormhole of research and discovering the difference between rolled cookies, bar cookies, and dropped cookies.

Seriously. There is an entire website on the history of cookies. He looked at it for an hour. It’s kind of insane.

It’s also not really important to him, but weird things happen in the middle of the night, especially since he hasn’t been sleeping well the past few days and his mind needed to focus on something concrete.

That’s also how he ended up wandering to the nearest twenty-four-hour market at three in the morning to buy ingredients for black and white cookies, buckeyes, and sugar cookies. He doesn’t even know how or why he picked those three. All Killian knows is that he’s been stress baking for days now, something that’s a bit hard to do when he’s trying to take it easy on his right arm, and he’s pretty much wiped out all of his cabinets of the good ingredients.

His refrigerator, however, looks like a bakery threw up inside of it. He really needs to take some of the things to Liam and Elsa, but when he went to their house yesterday, all Addy and Lucy wanted to talk about was his arm and Emma and even though it was completely innocent, it was too much for him. He can’t quite go back to give them cookies if all they’re going to talk about is Emma.

Every bit of this is his fault. He owns up to that.

But it’s still too much.

The fact that Ariel, Eric, Will, and Robin are all pissed beyond belief at him doesn’t help. He’s sure that for the four of them things will go back to normal soon. He doesn’t know for sure, but he thinks they will. He’ll never be able to clutch his shoulder again without having someone yelling at him to go see a doctor, but that’s likely for the best.

(Killian should have gone to a fucking doctor.)

They all deserve the multitude of sweets in his fridge. He’d take them to each of their apartments now, but they’re all still too pissed that he lied to them over and over again. Plus, they’re leaving for Boston tomorrow morning and likely busy even though today is their last day off from the small break that they got after Labor Day.

He’s not leaving for Boston. He’s staying right here sitting on his ass surrounded by cookies.

Emma’s going to Boston. At least, he thinks that she is. She should be. He’ll have to ask her when she comes over.

When she comes over.

Emma is coming over today. In about fifteen minutes actually, and that’s entirely why he’s been stress baking (more than usual) throughout the entire night. Killian doesn’t even know how he looks right now. There are probably some major bags under his eyes and his hair is all over the place, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he had flour or icing or even both smeared all over him.

Shit. He hasn’t shaved in four days.

For some reason, it’s that that thought that has Killian dropping his piping bag he was using to frost the sugar cookies to turn the corner in his apartment and run down the hallway to get to his bedroom so he can shower. In the past few days, in all of his moping and self-inflicted misery, he managed to pick up all of Emma’s clothes and hung them in the closet. That might be a little too hopeful thinking, but it seemed like the natural thing to do.

The sticky notes, though, have stayed exactly where they are, and he looks at them before quickly twisting the nobs on his shower and stepping inside the moment the water gets to an acceptable temperature. He doesn’t have much time, so Killian picks up his body wash, leaving Emma’s where it is, and scrubs over his body while doing some light stretches with his shoulder. He needs to put another ice pack on there.

That’ll have to come after this.

Six minutes later, Killian is out of the shower. Two minutes after that, he’s dressed in a pair of his gym shorts and a t-shirt, one from a charity game he played last year, and after looking in the mirror, he knows that he doesn’t have time to shave, not if he wants to brush his teeth again.

He should probably brush his teeth for…reasons.

That’s optimistic.

Killian can’t help it. For four days he has felt his entire world crumbling around him, and it’s been his fault. He’s known that it was. There was no denying it even when he most wanted to, and he’s wanted to a hell of a lot.

Missing the rest of the season, possibly having to miss parts of the play-offs which could mean that he could miss the World Series, is obviously crushing. There’s no denying that. The game has been his life for nearly twenty-three years, and he doesn’t want to keep screwing things up. His track record might not show that, but it’s true. He’s going to try to be better. He’ll go to all of his therapy, tell those who need to know when he’s hurting, and he’s not going to overdo it. He’s not.

But as much as all of the stuff with his job is killing him, not having Emma to talk to is worse.

The game was his life for so long, and while he doesn’t want to say that Emma is his entire life now, she’s up there in the most important category.

Probably topping the list.

Everything about his life has her mark on it. From the clothes in his closet and the bottles in his shower to the coffee creamer in his fridge and the throw blanket that she left on his couch. There are all of these physical signs that show how she’s changed things, but he knows that a hell of a lot of how Emma has impacted his life comes in the way that he’s more conscious about spending times with his loved ones or the fact that his demons don’t seem to find him as much in the dark of the night. The smile that was missing for so many years has found its place again.

Emma didn’t fix his flaws. They’re all still there. But she has inadvertently helped him to be a better person.

Even if he is still screwing up and will continue to.

Killian loves Emma, and there is no denying that. None at all. He’d never try to.

“Why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

Killian’s head turns at the sound of Emma’s voice, and even though it causes the slightest sting to his shoulder, he doesn’t care. Because she’s real and standing in front of him wearing running shorts and a tank top, her hair tucked into a Yankees cap so that he can’t really see the green of her eyes. But he can see the timid, hesitant smile, and he never wants her to be hesitant to see him again.

“How did you – ”

She holds up a key. “I have a key. Figured it was still okay for me to use it.”

“Yeah, love.” Killian smiles and grabs a clean hand towel to dry off his hair so he’s not soaking wet. “That’s perfectly fine.”

“Good. So why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

“Stress baking. Do you want a cookie? Or brownies? I have a large parfait. There’s also a cake that was meant for…the other day, but it’s a damn mess.”

Emma lets out a small laugh and shakes her head while her hand reaches for the chain around her neck, her fingers fumbling with it. His breath hitches at the sight. Over the past few days, his hand has instinctively clutched for it, reaching out and trying to find something to hold onto, and every time he comes up empty. He gave that to Emma because he wanted her to have it, and nothing about that has changed.

His mom would want her to have it. She’d love Emma. Killian doesn’t remember that much about her, but he knows that she would love Emma. They have that same kind spirit and an infectious laugh that makes everyone else in the room want to laugh along.

Bloody breathtaking.

And hopefully the ring brought her luck and comfort when she got to commentate the other day, and hopefully she knew that he was cheering her on the entire time. He still hasn’t heard how that went. He almost watched the replay of the game so that he could see for himself, but it felt wrong to do that without Emma and to know that most of the tape would be focused on his injury anyways.

That’s not how it should be.

And maybe a part of him couldn’t handle hearing her voice as she had to speak after seeing him leave the mound.

“I might want a cookie later,” Emma says, shrugging her shoulder. “I feel like if I start eating now, I’ll consume everything like I’m a vacuum.”

“Isn’t that how you usually eat?”

She’s closer now, so he can see her roll her eyes. “I’m still mad at you, so I’d watch what you say.”

That sobers Killian up, the playful smile tugging at his lips disappearing into a firm line, and he nods his head while his left hand reaches up to scratch behind his head. “Aye. Do you want to go talk in the living room?”

“Yeah.”

Emma turns on her heel and walks out of his bedroom, and he’s following right behind her. As much as his stomach is absolutely churning right now, Killian knows that the sooner they have this talk, the better. Unless, of course, it ends with Emma ending things between them. That’s not for the better. If it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants, but he can’t believe that it’s for the better even if he is an idiot who likes to mess things up.

Emma grabs her throw blanket from the basket and sits down in his oversized arm chairarmchair, settling herself in like she’s comfortable here, and he likes that she’s still comfortable here. That comforts him. Killian doesn’t grab a blanket, but he does sit down on the couch and pull a pillow to his chest so that he has something for his hands to do.

Is his heart still working? He’s not sure.

“How’s your arm?” Emma starts. This is probably the conversation she feels most comfortable with, and he doesn’t blame her.

“It’s okay. I need to ice it soon, but I’ll be fine. Just a lot of resting it, which is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Do you want to ice it now?”

“No, no, Swan. It’s fine. I promise. I know – I’m sorry that I lied to you.” They aren’t the words Killian meant to say quite yet, but he does mean them. “I truly am. I can’t express how much of an idiot that I am. I hid away something really damn important from everyone when I should have shared it the first time my arm started hurting. I should have gone through the steps of preventing this. I should have told you what really happened with my accident. I should have told you everything that I didn’t tell you, and I can’t imagine how shitty it makes you feel that I didn’t.”

Emma scoffs. “Pretty shitty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I just – ” She lets out a big sigh and adjusts the blanket over her legs again. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I know you’re sorry, and I believe you when you say that. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through all of this alone and that you haven’t felt like you could tell someone, but it did…it does hurt me that you couldn’t tell me. People have always let me down, and – ”

“I never intended to let you down.”

Emma smiles, something soft and a little sad, and he swears that it breaks his heart the slightest bit. “I know that. It took running far too much, eating my weight in food, and then having Ruby talk some sense into me, but I know. And it’s why I’m going to choose to see the best in you.”

Good.

Good. This is going a hell of a lot better than he thought it would, but he’s still terrified that maybe he doesn’t deserve this forgiveness from her.

“And I you.”

“I mean, there wasn’t a lot of bad to see about me.”

Killian laughs, for what is probably the first time in days, and something inside of him rights itself so that the pieces of the puzzle continue to click into place instead of being all mixed together.

“Well, not in this particular situation, no.”

Emma’s smile is a little more hopeful now, and he watches it change as she tugs on the brim of her baseball cap. “Why didn’t you tell anyone, Killian? Be honest with me. If we’re going to continue to make this work, and I really do want to make this work, you have to be honest with me. I’m done with guys who aren’t honest.”

He knew this question was coming, has had to answer it before, but no answer seems like it’s enough. They all fall short, and he knows that’s because he fell short in who everyone was expecting him to be. In who he was expecting himself to be too.

“I was scared. That sounds like such a pathetic excuse, but it’s my truth. I have been through a hell of a lot of ups and downs in the past nine years, and I had finally gotten out of the downs when the accident happened. I worked so damn hard, love. I – ” He stops to take a breath, still at a loss for words since it all sounds ridiculous and yet makes perfect sense in his mind. “I finally had my life back on track. Things were going really well for me, and I was pissed that it was all taken away from me because some kids were drunk and driving a boat. I didn’t think I’d ever get the game back, but I did, you know? I was on top of the world, so when my arm started to hurt again, despite all of my better judgment, I figured if I never said anything, I’d never have it all taken away from me. And not telling you about any of it…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want you to think of me as being any more broken than I already am.”

That’s it. That’s his truth. There’s no altering it or making it better or making him seem like less of an idiot. That’s simply it.

Emma said she’d see the best in him. He hopes that’s true.

For a moment he thinks it’s not because Emma is rising from her chair, and he fully expects her to walk out the door despite everything they’ve already said today and when they talked in Elsa’s office. But she doesn’t leave. Instead, she walks toward him and very slowly places her knees on either side of his thighs and leans down to sit on his lap so that they’re nearly eye level when the palms of her hands land on his cheeks and he can finally see the green of her eyes again underneath her baseball cap.

He’s now realizing the cap is his.

And it feels really damn good to feel the touch of Emma’s hands again. That’s also what has him wrapping his arms around her lower back and tugging her closer while Emma continues to rub her thumbs under his eyes in soothing circles.

“Killian, I am obviously not the most emotionally equip person in the world and am not the best with words, but you have to know that you and me, we both have shitty pasts. We both have things that we’re terrified of and sensitive to, and I think that’s why we work. You understand that I’m not going to leap head first into things, and I understand that you have this weird sense of self-loathing that you shouldn’t have. You were terrified of losing something you love. I would be too.”

“You were pretty damn good with words there.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.”

“I like you thinking.”

“Funny, most men don’t.”

Killian chuckles and leans forward to rest his head against Emma’s shoulder, and he takes the moment to breathe her in and breathe in the smell of her perfume. The pillow next to his has smelled like hers for the past few days, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing.

“I’m not going to lie to you again,” he mumbles into her skin while her hands start messing with his hair so that vibrations are running down his spine. “Or my family. Or my teammates. I promise I’ll be smarter, yeah?”

He tilts his head up to look at Emma, and he’s about to say something else when she leans forward and presses her mouth to his. He’s kissed her hundreds of times, probably more than that – he’s not counting – but there’s something different about the way that her mouth moves over his now. It’s slower, more passionate even if he knows it isn’t leading to something more than this, and the raw emotion of it all travels from his lips to the pit of his stomach before moving back up to his heart and constricting it.

But in the best way.

Killian has missed her.

He has missed the sound of her laugh and the way that she hogs the entire couch. He has missed the way she tastes and the fact that she never seems to put her dishes away on time. He has missed the notebooks she leaves around with all of her mid-game scribbling and the way that she can’t seem to make up her mind on what she wants to eat for dinner. Barely any time has passed, but not knowing exactly what’s coming next even more than usual has put a hell of a lot of things in perspective for him.

His love for Emma is one of the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t want to ever jeopardize it again by not being able to own up to his past and how it still has a stranglehold on his present.

Killian gently pecks her lips one, two, three times before trailing along the side of her neck and peppering kisses against her skin, never moving his hands from where they’re holding her to him.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, the desperation obvious in his own ears. “You have no idea.”

“I think I might have a bit of an idea,” Emma laughs as he leans back to look at her again, the brightest smile he’s seen all day stretched across her lips. “I love you too, by the way. But I still hope everyone you know gives you shit about this whole thing until we all know for sure that you’re not going to keep hiding things as important as your health.”

“I would expect nothing less,” he sighs. “Now, I don’t know about you, Swan, but my girlfriend had a very big day at work the other day, and I still haven’t heard about it.”

“Oh, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, no. I want to hear every detail. I almost watched the tape, but I figured that’d be a little miserable hearing your voice while watching myself be an idiot on the field.”

“Yeah, that would probably suck.”

“Exactly. So, tell me all about it. I’m all ears.” Emma opens her mouth, but he stops her. “Aye, I know – little pointy ones.”

Emma does tell him all about it. For a few minutes, she’s kind of fumbling around trying to find her storytelling stride, but then she settles in and knows exactly where she’s going with her tale. She’s not one to talk a lot, even when it comes to him, but when it’s something that Emma is passionate about, she could talk for hours without taking a breath.

Emma is passionate about this.

He can tell in the way the smile on her face rarely dissipates and with how she keeps using her hands far more often than she normally was. Plus, her voice gets that little bit higher in pitch, and he has to bite his tongue not to tease her about it. He also has to bite his tongue when she starts detailing all of the petty little ways that Isaac and James tried to demean her instead of acting like professionals. Emma promises that it wasn’t too bad, but Killian can tell that their little digs bothered her, especially the ones about her integrity and him.

Killian shudders at the thought of their relationship becoming public because of the hell hole that it’ll put Emma into no matter how respected she is in her field by those who actually know what they’re talking about.

A part of that will always be on him and his actions of ten months ago, but he’s under strict instructions not to apologize for that again. And right nownow isn’t about him and his own self-loathing. He’s already taken away days of both of their lives for that, and he’s not going to do that any longer.

Right here, right now…this is about Emma finally getting to do something she’s dreamed about.

He does get up in the middle of her going on about what it was like after his injury – which sounds more than horrific for her – to get his ice pack, and that causes them to trail off onto all of the exact details of his tendonitis and his treatment. He promises Emma that it’s truly not that bad, but that his case is a little bit more intense with his history and the particular severity of it all. That’s when she asks him when exactly it hurts, and the pain on her face when he tells her he can feel it pretty much any time he moves his right arm more than a few inches is not a pained face he wants to keep on seeing from her.

But it only gets worse when Killian details that sometimes it’s so bad that it wakes him up from sleep, and Emma starts to piece together all of the times she’s woken up in the middle of the night to find him out of bed at odd hours.

Bloody idiot. That’s exactly what he is.

It’ll get better though, with rest and physical therapy and a little bit of luck, and as much as it sucks, it could be worse. This could all be worse. He’s not going to let it, though, as he’s not going to be dumb enough to not get treatment and to keep pushing himself further than his physical limits.

And as much as Killian would like to be able to hover over Emma and roll his hips into hers and join their bodies together after what feels like forever apart even if it’s only a few days, he knows that he’s not quite physically able to today. Emma, though, the spirited lass that she is, lets a smirk curl across her lips as she directs him back to his bedroom and tells him to lie on his back as she takes the lead so that he doesn’t have to move his shoulder too much.

Creative solutions have always been the best solutions.

It’s glorious being joined with Emma again, feeling her warmly wrapped around him as she moves above him in slow circles that have him dying in the haze of ecstasy. His mom’s ring falls between her breasts with each movement, and his good arm reaches up to toy with it. She’s going particularly slow, each roll of her hips seemingly meaning something deeper, and as good as it feels, a part of him thinks it’s some kind of torture since she knows he can’t do most of the things he’s usually capable of doing.

The sly smile on her face when he tries to thrust up into her and go deeper inside of her tells him that he’s right.

The minx.

And if slow and steady is what Emma wants, it’s exactly what she’ll get. She’s always been one to take charge.

The heat simmering between them must eventually begin to burn, however, because the rolls of her hips become faster and she places his hand where they’re joined so that he can help her find her bliss in the few minutes before he finds his, little shocks of electricity working down to the base of his spine as he comes undone with Emma’s name on his lips and his love for her curling around each and every other word that he manages to mutter.

Almost losing her, even if he didn’t think this would truly tear them apart despite the way his mind kept convincing him that it would, has made him appreciate Emma in ways that he hadn’t before.

He thought he appreciated her in every way, but there are always things to learn.

“I have so many damn cookies,” Killian laughs later, after they’ve cleaned up and crawled back under the covers, a new pack of ice on his shoulder and his body pleasurably aching. “I have no idea what I’m going to do with them.”

Emma laughs against his chest where she’s curled up, her hand over his heart and her feet tucked in between his calves so that they’re back where they belong. “I would say I could take them with me on the road trip, but then I’d have to check a bag to get them with me through TSA. Or maybe not. I’m always confused on the food thing.”

Oh.

He’d nearly forgotten that life was moving on outside of his bedroom and this bed and the freckles scattered over Emma’s skin. The only clothing she has on is the necklace, and he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

“So, you are going to Boston then?”

Emma hums. “And then Detroit after that. I have off for the Blue Jays, though, so I’ll be coming back home instead of going to Canada.”

His hand scratches against her back, drawing lines and words and anything that he can simply to feel her again. “I hate that I’m not going to be traveling with you.”

“It’s going to be kind of weird,” she whispers before pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m going to have a hotel bed to myself.”

“To be fair, you pretty much always have the bed to yourself even when I am around.”

“You have been forgiven for about two hours now, and you’re already talking shit about my bed hogging. That’s a bold move there, Jones.’

“Oh, I know,” he yawns, his lack of sleep catching up to him even if it’s only six in the evening, “but I’ve slept alone for a few days now, and let me tell you, it’s glorious.”

Emma scoffs against his chest before sitting up so that she’s looking down at him under her mess of wild blonde hair that’s curling over her chest. “You’re being an ass.”

“Well, we have undoubtedly decided that I am an ass, right?”

“Pretty much.”

Emma’s arms stretch over her head, the muscles of her stomach on display, before she’s rolling off of the bed and standing up so that he has a particular good view of her ass that has his body humming. But then she’s walking to his dresser and pulling out a t-shirt to put on. She obviously pulled it from the back because it’s an older one he hasn’t seen in years, and he imagines he’ll probably never see it again with Emma’s penchant for stealing his things.

“You going somewhere, love?”

“Yeah,” she sighs as the t-shirt lifts from her thighs when she’s pulling her hair back up into a messy bun on the top of her head. “You have a bowl of icing in your kitchen, and the TV in the living room is better than the TV in here. If we’re not going to the US Open because I don’t want to leave this apartment until I absolutely have to, I’m going to watch it here.”

“Do you want me to join you?”

“Eh,” she teases, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t really care. Apparently, I am a bed hog, so I’m leaving you here to have the entire bed by yourself while I go lounge about on the couch eating the sweets you made while you were mooning over me.”

“You’re impossible.”

Emma winks. “And you love me for it.”

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years ago

Text

Through His Eyes - Part 12 [M]

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Warning: Today, we have a little bit of a smut scene in this, but it’s not full on (sorry lol).

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 - FINAL

You sensed someone was there before the door even opened to the art studio. It was a skill you had adopted since losing your eyesight, the indescribable nature of being aware before you truly heard or smelt the change in your space.

So when the door opened, you angled your head, trying to decipher who would be here this late at night. You had promised your mother you would take a taxi home by ten and when you check your watch not long ago; you still had just under an hour left. Madam Cho had left early to head to a scheduled event she was hosting and none of the other regular students had booked timeslots tonight.

It didn’t take you long to recognise the all too familiar sounds of his footsteps, your breathing hitched in your throat. Were you imagining Jaebum turning up right now? It wasn’t uncommon for you to fantasise scenarios where he would re-enter your world. But as time passed by, each daydream seemed less vibrant, shrouded with the reality that he hadn’t actually appeared in front of you. So why would he now?

You were hesitant to believe the signals your brain was giving you when the smell of his cologne joined the sounds of footsteps but you couldn’t deny it when his arms wrapped around you from behind, the shaky breaths you had vaguely registered now heaving into your ear, the coolness of his drenched body burning against your warm.

You were stunned, why was he so frozen?

He began to cry then, you were certain of it, and it took every ounce of you to remain still. To not react, keeping your emotions within. You had cried too much over this man and experienced much anger toward him. And even more towards yourself for how you reacted back then.

Jaebum took a deep breath before he spoke and you felt the hairs on your neck prick up in anticipation. “I’m sorry I’m late to receive your confession, Y/N. Will you accept mine?”

You had thought this over so many times now. When you would finally meet with Jaebum again, you had wanted to thank him for always being at your side. You had craved to scold him for things that bothered you in your connection, and you wanted to cry over your denied feelings. Yet, not once had you expected him to say something as bold as that. You hadn’t allowed yourself to believe that Jaebum actually would feel as you did. Perhaps he still didn’t, and it made you perplexed the longer you processed all this, his arms around you overwhelming your senses, your body greedily lapping up his touch even if he was wet. Yet, your mind was still two steps behind and you didn’t know what to do for the first time in weeks.

Jaebum sensed your turmoil, his grip around you tightening, pleading for you to answer him with something. Shoot him down or accept him, he needed something from you.

Your hand raised towards where his chin was resting on your shoulder and you felt him shift towards it to meet your touch halfway, nuzzling into your hand affectionately. Your heart thumped noisily in your chest and a smile formed on your lips.

God, you had missed him.

“You are very late.”

“I know,” he murmured and you inwardly rejoiced when his lips pursed against your palm that he was still rubbing into as if he was part feline and craved your reassurance. Your smile grew into a grin as you gently ran your hand up the side of his jawline, threading into the ends of his hair lightly.

It was new.

All of this, you had craved. Sure, you had teased him during your friendship of how close he would get, his skinship towards you was natural. This wasn’t your first time ever touching him.

And yet it was as if you were learning more of him than you had over the past several months. You were allowed to touch him like this now.

You didn’t want to stop.

Spinning around on the stool you were seated on, you ran your other hand up his chest to his shoulder, anchoring yourself there. Jaebum chuckled. “You’re bolder than the last time I saw you.”

“I had to learn how to survive without you,” you told him, drumming your fingers against his shoulder, your other hand still content up in his soaked hair. “If I didn’t learn to advocate for myself, I knew I didn’t have you to fall back onto.”

He shifted closer, if that was even possible. You were growing dizzy within this vivid dreamlike state. “Will you fall upon me now that I’m here?”

You shook your head. You wouldn’t return to your feeble role in this budding connection. You had evolved from relying on him for your basic level of happiness. And yet, you knew you could blossom further with Jaebum being back in your life. You wouldn’t fall on him, but you would hold him, perch on him when you felt ready to take flight.

“What if I lean into you instead, can I do that?” he continued and you giggled.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?”

He nodded, burying himself into you. “I don’t want to let go.”

“You don’t have to.”

For an immeasurable time, you just remained like that. Holding one another. Reconnecting. Flourishing. You could tell without seeing him that Jaebum had suffered. You weren’t sure why, though his negative energy slowly dispelled within your embrace, opening doors he had hastily closed on himself.

He felt vulnerable under your touch and it was mind-blowing to be the person who held him up right now.

Eventually, he started to shiver. Your own body was damp from soaking up the rainwater from his clothing and Jaebum reluctantly stepped back with a sigh. “I better get you home so you can warm up.”

“Me? You’re the frozen one.”

You heard the little breath he let out as he smiled. “I’m thawing out well, thanks to you.”

The sentence was deeper than the reference to his current temperature and you smiled back at him, sliding off the stool and reaching for your bag. And then you took his hand in yours. “Jaebum, you need to be warmer than this.”

“I’ll go and shower as soon as I know you’re home safe.”

You didn’t know why this didn’t sit well with you. Was it because in the past, he always put himself second to you? Some of that was due to your physical limitations, yet he had selflessly always prioritised your needs first. You had been grateful every time, however now with clarity, you realised how little you had done for him.

You craved to meet his needs before your own first.

Shaking your head, your adamant answer confused him. “Y/N, you-”

“You need to shower first.”

“But, how… I mean, I don’t think your mother would-”

You squeezed his hand and you received a tremble back. Was he nervous at your insistence? His mind perhaps travelling down a path he hadn’t considered before? It made you fall in love with him further. How naïve was he, when it was once you who would blush at the slightest of change between you both. Now you coveted confidence around him that surprised him, and you hoped it would be reciprocated by him sooner rather than later.

“We can go to my apartment,” he offered slowly, swallowing loudly. His grip on your hand changed, taking the lead as he once used to, directing you out into the heavy din of the storm and dashing through the weather together until you reached his car.

The drive to his apartment was electric. Jaebum hadn’t let go of your hand once, not that you would have allowed him to. His thumb ran circles over your skin, surges travelling throughout your body. You knew that you were moving through a realm of the unknown. Dating hadn’t been something you had ever put much thought into after losing your eyesight, not wishing to burden anyone with caring for you in a normal relationship.

Yet you couldn’t deny what your heart desired and now that Jaebum was back in front of you again, well, you weren’t going to remain juvenile about it. For one night, you were simply a woman who loved the man beside you. And you had spent too long apart to be separated because of finer details.

Jaebum led you up into his home and you were silent yet active. Your brain was rushing to record the steps it took, the feeling of the walls, the counting of the floors. You slipped into his home behind him, and he turned to you, his hands shifting to your waist as he kicked off his shoes. He laughed happily and you breathed in new air. “I thought you were eager to get me home?”

“Let me adjust first, I’m in a new space.”

Jaebum let you wander. Much like the time where he had taken you out to the park near your home, he hovered and pointed out things when you bumped into them. And then he left you to it, disappearing into his home as you navigated the small kitchen space.

He returned to wrap you up in a towel. “Please shower first.”

“You’re soaked more than I am,” you reminded, shunting him away. “I can wait.”

“You’re my guest tonight so you should wash up first. I’ve pulled out some clothes for you to put on when you’re done.”

“Will I remain just a guest when I’m at your home?” you wondered, taking the towel he offered and the question remained unanswered as Jaebum led you to his bathroom. You could tell he was affected as he explained the best way to navigate his shower and after turning it on for you, he left you to it.

Admittedly, you were grateful for the escape from your heady experience. As you warmed your soul, you contemplated if you were being too much for him. After all, Jaebum had been gone for so long and had only accepted he had feelings for you recently, from what you could tell. You didn’t know what his expectations were, hell, you weren’t even sure of your own. For a moment, you doubted your approach, overwhelmed in this new environment of his home and your inner thoughts.

You didn’t take long, knowing Jaebum was out there waiting to shower too. Reaching for the towel, you secured it around your chest, fumbling around for the clothing Jaebum had left for you. They seemed to have vanished and you yelped when your foot connected with the vanity.

“Are you alright?” he called from the other side of the door and you giggled. Had he waited out there the entire time in case you needed him?

You decided you would allow Jaebum to rescue you right now. “I need help.”

The door swung open and you turned towards the sound, trying to get your bearings back. Jaebum was quick to realise what you had been doing, thrusting clothing at you suddenly. “Here.”

His fingers brushed against your bare shoulder with the force he had thrown the clothes at you in his flustered state and it elicited another round of courage you had swept down the drain with the shower water. You failed to grab onto the clothing.

“Sorry.” You stepped closer. “Can you help me?”

Even without sight, you knew he was torn. If he felt even a fraction of what you did for him, Jaebum would be suffering. You decided to torment him further, raising your arms up lightly. “You put it on, please?”

You felt the fabric of the hoodie, Jaebum slowly slipping it over your arms and head, his breathing shallow as he did so. His hands travelled with the garment and inadvertently the cinch over your chest unravelled, the towel falling faster than the hoodie was. He let go, his gasp evidence that he had seen you.

It didn’t scare you.

The heat of your body soared and you realised his hands had grabbed onto the hoodie again, grounding him, supporting him through his desires. Without warning, his mouth found yours. The passion was immediate, arms encircling your body and pulling you towards his. You realised he had changed whilst you showered, but he was still cool to the touch. His mouth was avid, kissing you as if his life depended on it, tasting you, imprinting you, loving you.

And then just as swift as he had placed his mouth on yours, he yanked back, panting heavily. “What are you doing to me?”

“You kissed me; shouldn’t I be asking you that instead?”

He groaned loudly, his grip on you dangerously close to where the hoodie ended on the back of your thighs. He intentionally stretched out his hand, grazing against your skin again and you felt him shake his head. You slid your hands up his chest to link behind Jaebum’s neck, tilting your head up towards his. “Do you still need that shower?”

“Later,” he murmured and that was all you needed to hear to push your forearms against his broad shoulders, leaping up into his readying embrace. He carried you towards his bedroom, kisses melding one into the other until he gently angled you down to the bed, your grip unrelenting, pulling him down with you.

You expected commentary, you had believed he would voice how you were driving him insane. He had no words to give you though, his actions instead speaking volumes. His hands yearned for more, his breath unsteady, his lips now tasting more of you.

And you were thankful for the lack of talking. Whilst you were confident in getting yourself to this point, now you were entirely lost. In the darkness, you were left anticipating his actions, not able to tell what he would do next. Your own exploration of him grew stunted as you tried to handle how he roamed you. His hoodie was off though, which you had achieved with some effort. You wanted to feel every muscle that laid beneath his skin, to run your hands slowly over every inch. The lust enveloping you both didn’t allow for such a languid response, and you admitted defeat in doing so once you felt the exposed chill of the air when Jaebum rid you of the hoodie he had only just put you in.

Fisting the sheets beneath you to steady your anticipation, you reacted to his touch again. Each caress of his hands made your senses overload, your body seeking out more and still trying to keep up with what was happening. You relied on the feeling, your breathing staggered when he moved down your body to where you needed him the most.

You were certain you saw colours behind your eyelids when his mouth met your womanhood for the first time.

The night was spent searching for ecstasy repeatedly. You had painted the entire galaxy within your mind, your greyscale world now vibrant and rich. As the first rays of the sun brightened up Jaebum’s bedroom, you opened your eyes, accepting the harsh change of brightness as it felt dull in comparison to how heightened you had been mere hours ago.

Turning slowly in the loose way the man sleeping soundly beside you held you to his warm chest, you let your fingers delve into his skin, softly navigating their way over him. Without Jaebum’s constant unravelling of your mind and body, you could finally explore him as you pleased. He remained asleep initially, too deep within his dreams to notice your slow, methodical touch. You knew he had stirred when you were imprinting his shoulder blades into your mind, yet Jaebum allowed you to continue, laying there as you moved over every inch of his upper body. When you finally were gently taking in his facial details, his arm that was wrapped over your side tightened, drawing you into his body so you were flush against him.

You were giddy again.

“Are you certain you know every part to me now?”

You shook your head. “I have so much more to learn.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Didn’t you get enough of me last night?” you wondered and Jaebum guided your face towards his, mere centimetres away from placing his lips on yours.

“I don’t think I ever could have enough of you.”

_________________

[Final Part]

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