#but she pisses me off sometimes but ESPECIALLY in s4

[piperslovebot]

Will never get over the fact that Donna accused Eric of CHEATING because he dated someone while they were BROKEN UP. What? Is Donna the only one allowed to move on while Eric has to spend time pining over her?

Worst Girlfriend

So Donna Pinciotti is the worst gf in the history of television. She gets mad at Eric about shit and then doesn’t tell him why. She expects him to just “know” why she’s mad.

She gets mad at him for instance that he dated someone while they were broken up. She was dating Casey Kelso! She can’t get pissed at him for that. She hates that he has Playboys. Relax. Porn is there for a reason, it doesn’t mean anything. As long as it’s not child porn what does it matter? Looking isn’t the same as cheating.

Plus, it’s just fantasy. It’d be different if he was jerking off to pictures of a girl he actually knew. Which he actually does, that was the time to get mad.

But she gives back his promise ring, and then everyone burns Eric all the time, saying that he was the one who fucksed things up. No, no he wasn’t. They wanted different things, but that doesn’t mean that HE fucksed it up.

It is so annoying that they were endgame.

[love-toxin]

Okay but miscommunication trope is only super yummy when there’s a happy ending. Liiiike reader thinking they’re getting kicked out of their relationship in the fruity four, they’re not wanted anymore, maybe even bring replaced (ie with someone like Chrissy), and so every little sarcastic quip or ignoring is seen by them as the others not loving them anymore 🥺. Until one day it all comes crumbling down and I can’t decide with is more angsty, you breaking down telling the others they don’t love you anymore, or you trying to be brave by announcing you’re leaving and the fours hearts just dropping as they try to scramble to convince you to stay and why?! Why are you leaving!?!?! Please! But of course, happy ending when everything’s properly explained and angel is reassured they could never all fall out of love with them ❤️

oh.......miscommunication trope, you say? >:)

(cws: fruity four, gn!angelface, jealousy, post-s4, PTSD, huge miscommunication trope, domestic arguing, you have a tattoo + kinda shitty parents + bad home life, chrissy's a jealousy target, breakups, jopper appearance, you're childhood friends with jonathan, mentions of grief, an almost car crash, very mild head trauma, crying, angst with a happy ending--stick with me angels!)

Sometimes you wish Chrissy would just disappear. Just--poof--and she'd be gone.

It's awful of you to think, but you can't help it. She's just always around, ever since her breakup with Jason she's been by the house much more frequently. You were happy for her at first, because you liked her up until then, and she's always been nice to you. Plus, your partners saved her life back when all that crazy stuff with the Upside Down happened, an event you weren't privy to until after the fact, when you started dating them.

But she's always on Eddie, always chatting him up, always giggling at his attempts to cheer her up, and now she's attracted the attention of your other partners too. They're good friends, and that's good, but....why can you not shake this feeling that there's something more going on? That the arm touches over his jacket and the inside jokes aren't as friendly and harmless as they want you to think?

It's worse than that, though. The honeymoon phase is clearly over--cause all four of them just brush off your concerns, insisting that you're overreacting or just not addressing them at all. So you haven't been piping up when a joke hurts your feelings, and you've bitten your tongue when one of them has to reschedule something you've planned, and it's gotten to the point that they've wondered why you're so quiet all of a sudden. Why would they care? You think with a sour feeling in the back of your throat, rubbing the tattoo on your arm that Eddie gave you and wondering if that was just practice for someone else. You're not oblivious to the way Chrissy is slowly being invited into gatherings and dinners with everyone.....just like you were in the beginning. And after an especially heated fight with both Eddie and Robin, the worst one you've ever gotten into in your entire relationship, he got so pissed off that he just told you not to come to the dinner they had planned, and they'd take someone who actually wanted to go.

That was a couple days ago, and the air in the house has been strained for nobody else but you. You're equally as hurt by Eddie yelling at you as Robin silently going along with it, even though you slammed your bedroom door in her face when she tried to follow you, and waited until Eddie tugged her along to leave before you allowed yourself to cry. You're sick of the feeling that none of them really care for you, that you've been demoted to a piece of furniture in the house, because they've clearly lost interest. And they don't care when your things start disappearing from the house, when the clothes in your closet start dwindling, leaving behind nothing but the ones they've bought for you--no, they'd rather moon over Chrissy fucking Cunningham, and you've just taken all you think your heart can handle.

"I'm going out!" You call into the house from the front door, without any of their four voices responding. When you sigh, turn, and step out to turn the corner of the house, though, you bump right into one of them.

"Oh! Hey, baby." Steve steps back and readjusts the paper bag full of groceries he's got his arm around, keys halfway tucked into his pocket. "Where you off to?"

"Um....just, uh, gonna go visit my parents." You weren't really expecting him to pry, with how in your head you've been lately. But you're not gonna relent just cause one of the people who promised he'd love you forever, yet somehow can't be fucked enough to find the time to even watch a movie with you, asked you a question that remotely shows an ounce of concern.

"Your parents?" He blinks, shifting again to rest the bag on his hip. "You sure?"

That tone is so irritating. You used to love that almost parental sense of duty, the desire of his to know every detail of every problem so he can solve it. But now, you just feel suffocated, even though you're more distant from all of them now than you've ever been. "What, I'm not allowed to see my family?"

"Hey, that's not what I said! hold on," He moves to put the groceries inside, but you wave him off and start walking past him, your tone clearly frustrated as you encourage him to just forget it. But, in a tizzy, Steve hurriedly sets the bag down on the ground and runs to catch up with you, his hand descending on your arm only to be swatted away--but not for long, when he grabs it again and grips it tighter as he turns you to face him. "Jesus, wait! What's the big fuss? Did I do something?"

"Let me go, Steve." You refuse to look him in the eyes, but you can't break his grip. Why can't he just let it go, so it's less painful? "I don't wanna drag this out."

"Drag what out?" Finally, it dawns on him as his eyes dart from the keys clenched in your hand to the windows of your car parked in the driveway, boxes clearly piled up in the trunk and in the backseat that none of them seemed to notice you moving.

".....So that's it? You're breaking up with us?" Steve says it with disbelief, like he's expecting you to say something or anything different. It's almost a little satisfying when you respond in the way he never could have expected, even though he should've by now. Even though it feels bitter on your tongue as soon as it comes up.

"You know what? Yes. That's exactly it." You finally wrench your arm out of his grip, and each of those words sting as they come out, but you won't cry, you refuse to cry in front of Steve today. "I'm leaving tonight, and I'm never coming back to Hawkins again."

"Why?"

"Ask your new girlfriend."

"Who? Wait--Chrissy?" He shakes his head, and what comes out next is more cruel than you wanted to be--but he just won't get it, it won't happen unless you make them realize why they don't want you anymore.

"Wow, the jock has a brain! Well done, Stevie." He grimaces at once, and god, you wish it would all stuff itself back into your throat.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you being such a-"

"I know you're in love with her, Steve! For fuck's sakes, I'm not as stupid as you think I am!" You shout into the broken silence of the front lawn, wishing from the deepest reaches of your heart that this could all just be a horrible nightmare. Not reality. You don't want to be facing those big, soft eyes of Steve staring back at you in shock and pain, so you just turn your head and hope he doesn't see how much you're shaking.

"I get it, okay?! She's prettier than me, and nicer, and she doesn't have my fucking issues--and you guys clearly like her. It's like I don't even exist when she's around." You move aside to gesture towards your car, keys clutched in your hand so they won't fall or get taken from you, because you know Steve is reckless when he's upset. "None of you even noticed I was packing. Nancy fucking helped me put a box in yesterday."

Just then, both your heads turn at the sound of a car approaching--and just in time, you realize it's Eddie, his van's tires crunching the gravel of the long driveway as he pulls up to a stop beside your car. And lo and behold, sitting in the front seat with a smile on her face is her. Chrissy waves to you through the window, and as if your heart isn't in the process of shattering into shards that dig into your lungs, you raise your hand to acknowledge her back. You turn back to look at Steve one last time. Memorizing his face, because you know you won't ever see him again, as you take a few steps backward and hand him your parting words.

"Don't break her heart, Steve. It sucks."

With that, and with nothing but confliction reflecting back at you on his face, you turn on your heels and make your way around your car, bidding Eddie and Chrissy a stiff goodbye as they get out of the van and you get into your car. You reverse, roll back out of the driveway, and shift gears to start puttering down the road. And as soon as the house is out of your rearview mirror, that's when you feel those tears spilling out that won't stop until well after you pass the Leaving Hawkins sign on the side of the road.

A week into your new start in the city, you haven't gotten any more closure than when you left.

Living with your aunt isn't great, but it's something. The apartment is small, and you still haven't found a new job--you did call the Palace to inform them that you were quitting, though, to which you were greeted with nothing but indifference as you left a message on the answering machine. Figures that nobody in that town would miss me, you think, but you can't dwell on it for too long, because then you'll start thinking of them and it'll have you sobbing into your pillow again. Even worse is that you can't even fully express your pain to your family, your aunt, anybody--because they'll all think you're a freak, and it won't be surprising that your "relationship" ended so badly. You don't even really speak to your parents or your family in the first place, so you can't expect them to show you any sympathy. In fact, if they said anything to you, it would probably be that you should be glad it's over so you can live a normal life.

You don't want normal. You want your Robin talking your ear off about something gross for hours, you want Eddie burping into your ear and laughing, you want Nancy falling asleep on top of you and drooling on your chest, and Steve--you want Steve to come over while you're both on your breaks, talking with his mouth full and stealing bits of your lunch while kissing you in between each bite. You want that love back, you want it so badly it hurts, it hurts your heart every time something reminds you of them.

Maybe that's the worst part. That they don't want that anymore, they want someone that can share those memories with of that terrible tragedy, who knows how they feel and relates to those nightmares that wake them up in a cold sweat, who they can compare scars with and laugh with now that it's all over. They want someone scarred but beautiful, someone perfect, and you can never be that way no matter how hard you try. It explains why you haven't gotten a single phone call, or a letter, or anything since you left, and that treatment extends into your second week in Indy and right into the third. But it doesn't get any less painful, even when you get a job at a convenience store around the corner to busy yourself and help with the rent. Nor when you try going on a date or two, just to spend the whole dinner staring off into space as they talk and wondering what the people you loved are doing right now.

While you're behind the counter at work, your thoughts often drift back to that house by Maple Drive. The path around the back that leads into the woods, where Eddie would take you out for a smoke and to watch the stars for awhile--always with a walkie on hand, just in case, as Steve used to say. The pool that often sits empty, and sometimes you'd look out the window to see Nancy lifting up the cover on it to peek underneath, before breathing a visible sigh of relief and briskly walking away. Sometimes even in the middle of the night, creeping out the sliding glass door in her pajamas. And you remember that bed you often shared with Robin, who gets so clingy when she sleeps....and you wonder if she's sharing it with Chrissy now, if the cheerleader you always thought was such a nice girl is occupying the spot you thought would be yours forever.

Your brow furrows as you stock Camels on the shelf behind the counter, sliding each one into the perfect spot but feeling an itch of irritation when they don't line up. Is Eddie holding her right now? Is he coming up behind her every morning, and nuzzling his nose into her cheek as she stirs milk into her coffee? Is Nancy cuddling her and chatting her up about whatever project she has going on right now? Is Steve picking up her bag, and insisting she let her boyfriend hold the heavy stuff while she sits and looks pretty? They probably are. And they're probably much happier doing it with her, than they ever were with you.

Something thuds on the counter behind you, and you sigh without a sound as the gruff voice at your back asks for a pack while you're at it. Your fist squeezes around the box you've got in hand, and when you turn on your heels to toss it on to the tabletop and reach for the scanner, your eyes widen, and so do the ones on the moustached man that's towering in front of you with a petite woman at his side.

"Hop?"

You breathe out the name, trying to regain yourself as quick as you can--you're pretty used to keeping your tears back now, adjusted to having a straight face so nobody will pry or prod for your feelings. The former sheriff of your hometown that you used to duck out of sight from, laughing and hiding your goods with Eddie right behind you, is standing at your counter with a shocked expression, along with Joyce Byers who seems just as surprised to see you here. And with little else you can think of, you clear your throat and try to crack that tense silence.

"Uh...so, you two on vacation, or someth-"

"Are you fucking with me?"

Hopper cuts you off, hands bracing the edge of the counter as he looks you up and down, the two glass bottles of Coke getting shoved aside by him to fall over and roll across the counter as he reaches across the barrier to grab your arm. Without much struggle, because you have no clue what's going on, you allow the older man to yank your wrist up and turn it over, Joyce hurriedly pushing up your sleeve with her gaze pinned to your skin, like she's desperately searching for something that has nothing to do with your confused questions spilling out on top of each other.

When they've finally uncovered that patch of skin they were looking for, the two of them share a look between themselves, before finally looking back up to acknowledge how baffled and worried you are. It isn't until you scan down to see what they found that the pieces start coming together, the black ink of the tattoo Eddie gave you when you first started dating peeking out at you. It's just a thin, mid-sized black circle on your inner forearm, with five points reaching outward like a sun. But the detail of it has always enchanted you, Eddie's diligent stare as he inked it into your skin burned into your mind. You've considered getting it covered since then, but....you can't bring yourself to do it yet.

"I'll call it in," Hopper says cryptically, stepping back and turning away to bring out the walkie from his belt and start mumbling into it. In the meanwhile, you're left with his partner, and the lady you've practically grown up with since she babysat you a long time ago. You often forget that time, when you and Jonathan would run around her backyard with sticks and rocks to try and build your own castle, while his baby brother watched from the stairs and giggled at your antics. You were so young, and so carefree, it seemed....but it was a happy time, one of few before you met those four.

"Honey, you're alright?" Joyce's voice quivers, anxious for the answer, but you nod as soon as her question registers because you hate to see her like this.

"Ye...Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She circles round the counter, coming right in for a hug that you return without question. The squeeze is tight, like a mother's embrace upon returning home from a long time away, and you instantly feel a pinch of guilt for neglecting to include her in your plan to leave Hawkins. Now that you think about it, you really didn't tell anyone, except....

"-Kid, relax, we're coming there. No, do not get in your car, sit your ass down so you're there when we get back! Jesus," Hop gets more animated as he talks over the channel, and your hug splits as your head swivels towards the sound of a familiar voice through the static. Steve.

"Are they there? Let me talk to them! Please, Hopper, let me hear their voice-"

It's so frantic, desperate. The first time you've heard one of their voices in what feels like your whole life, and you have to struggle not to cave, bringing a shaky hand up over your mouth as you whisper a "What's going on?" to Joyce. And with your ears perked up, you can distinguish the background noise in the transmission--there are three other distinct voices, talking just as fearfully amongst themselves as they also try to get through to Hop. Nancy, Eddie, and Robin, each with as much indignation as Steve, who must be holding the other walkie.

"We're coming down right now, kid. Just try to calm down in the meantime." With that, Hopper shuts the antenna and gestures for you to follow him, the sweet woman at your side holding your arm as you obey him, like she's afraid you'll vanish if she lets go. You're led out of the light of the fluorescent bulbs overhead to Hop's truck parked by the curb--you at least have the sense to fumble with your keys and lock the front door before you leave--you let him open the door and sit yourself in the backseat, and shakily buckle yourself in as they get in front with promises to explain everything. Still struck dumb with shock to the point that it hasn't really registered that you just left work in the middle of your shift.

But you get an idea of what's happening when you turn your head, and catch a glimpse of a scattered stack of papers on the seat beside you out of your peripheral. Tentatively, as Hop starts up the ignition, your fingers brush over one of the nearest pages--and when you lift it up to survey it closer, the two of them notice you and share another sobering look between them. What's staring back at you is undeniably, unmistakably, a missing person's ad. And the picture is one you recognize immediately, because it's yours. Your photo, details of your last sighting, a description of your tattoo, a list of things for people to look out for....

"You really worried everyone back home, kid."

Suddenly, a bitterness rises up inside you, and the paper crumples slightly as you realize what's really happening. "I'm fine. I just...decided to get out of Hawkins."

"Yeah, well, maybe tell your roommates that, first."

"Hop-"

"They didn't care! I told Steve anyways, so what's the big fucking deal?" Even though Joyce flinches at you raising your voice, you can't be quiet right now. Anger is something you've been almost too numb to endure these last few weeks, but now you could just put your fist straight through Hopper's window--they put up such a fuss for what? To drag you back to that shitty inbred town in the sticks, just to make sure they didn't want you in the first place? It's bullshit.

"They sure as shit care!" Hop shouts right back, casting his signature scowl over his shoulder as he drives through semi-empty streets. It's so late, and so dark, it's unlikely there'll even be many pedestrians. "Do you realize how many times Nancy Wheeler has shown up on my doorstep, begging me to go on another search and rescue for you?! They're worried sick!"

"Why?"

There's silence for awhile, very tense silence, before you repeat your question that says much more than just that one word.

"....Because they thought you were gone. They thought you were there."

There. That's what he means--the other world, the Upside Down. The place you've never seen, only heard horror stories about and snatches of descriptions of when you comforted one of them during a night terror. The missing people, the murders, the experiments....they're all so hard to believe, but then again, you can't deny Will's remarkable return from the dead or Barbara Holland's coverup death, both of which you've been close enough to to know that there's no way they're just elaborate lies.

So they were worried you had died. That your disappearance wasn't of your own volition. They're going to be in for an unfortunate surprise, but by the tightly shut locks on Hopper's truck doors, you know there's no getting out of this until he brings you right back to drop you in their laps.

"We came here to look for you. Your mom finally told us you had an aunt in the city." Joyce offers you another piece to the puzzle, but your mind is still stuck on the fact that your ex-partners seemed so desperate over the walkie. They....they wouldn't want you to die, but that doesn't mean they want you. Figures that your parents would make it more difficult for two of the only people that even remotely have any concern for you too, they're probably profiting off all that glorious attention of having a missing child.

"I have a life here, now. I don't want to go back." Lies. You know it's all lies.

"Listen, kid, whatever happened with your friends, I promise it's not worth throwing in the towel. You've gotta see things through." Clearly it's not worth an argument, you'd rather save your energy at this point. You're gonna need plenty to face that hard conversation you know is coming, when you're gonna have to confirm to them directly that you're moving on. No more running away, or hiding from the problem. You have to face it.

"You don't know anything about me, or them."

The already long drive drags on even longer in the silence that follows, and you make a mental note to call your aunt when they get you back to Hawkins, so she doesn't freak out when she comes home to an empty apartment. You can imagine your manager's gonna call and cuss you out before firing you for leaving the store unattended, too, and you groan and let your head hit the seat behind you. Now you're gonna have to find another job, gonna have to explain to your aunt what you did....or maybe she won't even notice your absence, not until someone makes a fuss about it.

Your mind is left racing with so many thoughts and worries that the scenery passes by without note, the moon barely shining any light on the landscape, like it's all one huge plain with little dots for buildings and trees. Like one big hellscape, but it's numb and frozen over with nothing left but a mocking echo of the world that's no longer here. You don't even really recognize your surroundings until a couple hours have passed, and the Welcome To Hawkins sign zips by and has you sitting up in your seat. Just as you pass it, though, you think you see the glimmer of another set of headlights, a rarity on these quiet streets--and then your whole world shifts violently.

"Shit!" Hop curses as he swerves suddenly, and Joyce shrieks as you all nearly careen off the road and into the ditch, your head cracking against the window and bouncing off for you to clutch at it in pain. A groan is all you can get out when he calls back to you, the dizzy feeling making you a little sick, but as you lift your head and the truck rolls to a stop, you spot the culprit of that downright suicidal speed driving that nearly caused a head-on collision.

Your heart is pierced with a deep chill immediately. You'd recognize that van anywhere, and that curly mane of hair as the driver stumbles out his door even moreso. He's not hurt, just dazed--and for the moment, your brain doesn't immediately go to the question of why you should even care. As he stands there in the road, in the dark, Eddie's form is lit up by the headlights still shining without a flicker, but he doesn't flinch even when it must be glaring directly into his eyes, just holds a hand up to block it out. And when they meet yours as you lean over the console to see him, he doesn't wait a second, hurrying around the passenger's side of the truck to fumble for the handle of your door. With a click, and the light above you switching on as a beeping starts to emit from the vehicle, Eddie's suddenly cramming himself into the backseat with you--and there's tears already wetting his cheeks as he grabs you in a hug, gasping in a shaky lungful of breath like he's shocked he's really touching you. Crying and mumbling into your hair, Eddie buckles when you squeeze him back, falling victim to that desire in the deepest part of your soul that just wanted to hold him again.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it baby, I didn't--everything I said, I swear, I was being such a fucking moron-" He starts babbling from nowhere, and his voice itself is a comfort, having not heard it next to your ear for so long that it aches now.

"Eddie-"

"You're mine, okay?! You're my everything!" He cries, burying his face even deeper into your neck and inhaling whatever scent he can get. You're stunned into staying limp, letting his hands grab and squeeze at you wherever they land--his curly hair tickles your cheek and sticks to it, and that sensation alone drags tears up to the surface, only allowing them to spill when you hear him whispering those croaked pleas of "I love you, I love you, I love you" until you're crying right along with him. It's been so long since you heard it, you'd started believing it was never really true.

It takes minutes that feel like hours for you to both calm down enough to look at each other, your face cradled in Eddie's rough hands as he sniffles and murmurs a "You're so beautiful" so innocently sincere, that it instantly makes you wish you had never left. He smiles, and the world that seems so dark grows a little brighter around you. You're not even privy to the looks Joyce and Hopper are giving each other in the front seat, clearly a little surprised at the passion you two share that nobody else has ever seen. But they know. And when Eddie starts pulling you out of your seat with the promise to take you back, Hop only reminds him to drive safely before he allows you two to shut the truck's door and circle round the vehicle with Eddie's arm clinging to your waist. The air hits you, cool and dry, just like it always is in Hawkins. And when he opens your door for you and waits for you to clamber in, before getting in on the other side and fumbling contently with his keys, you're not sure you really know what to expect. He briefly elaborates that he'd gotten worried, and that he's just glad he spotted Hop's truck before he'd sped all the way out of Hawkins and missed you--but it doesn't last, because soon he's grabbing your thigh and sighing out a breath of relief.

"We'll talk about everything when we get home. For now, I just want to hold you." Eddie offers his hand to you, giving it a grateful squeeze when you slip yours into it and interlace your fingers together.

They'll all hate me for real, this time.

That's exactly how the drive goes, Eddie's shoulders relaxed even as he steers with one hand, and navigates while stealing glances over at you with relief written all over his face, and brings your hands up to kiss your knuckles every so often. But he's just one. The other three....your heart sinks as you run over that last conversation you had with Steve, the way you'd ignored Robin completely, and how you pretended everything was absolutely fine with Nancy up until the moment you left. And it somehow dawns on you only then--they thought you were gone, that you had been taken to the Upside Down, and your heart sinks as you watch the trees pass by in clusters while that dread creeps closer down the road that's so familiar.

Not even the comforting warmth of Eddie's hand could drive that thought out of your mind, even less so when he turns and you hit that patch of gravel that leads up the driveway. He'll stop soon, and you'll be facing the music....and when Eddie shifts into park, you sort of float from your seat to the walkway where you threw your feelings back into Steve's face, and up towards the front door that Eddie opens for you before you cross the threshold into the house. It does feel like home, and you don't want to lose it right on the welcome mat, so you blink away any tears that threaten to spill before you quietly follow him into the living room.

Three heads turn to look your way, too inundated in conversation around the coffee table to hear the door opening, but that stops the second their eyes land on you. Steve and Robin are the ones sitting closest to where you stand, but Nancy's the one that makes her way to you first, her lower lip already quivering enough to break into a sob as she crosses the patch of carpet to throw her arms around you. She's strong enough to grip you tight enough to hurt, but too weak to keep herself on her feet, and you end up sinking to the floor with her as your name floods out of her lungs on repeat, getting louder and louder and louder until she's wailing. You could swear the walls rattle with the volume she cries at, completely coming apart in your arms like you've never seen her do before.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" She shouts, yet her voice is like a child's, wobbling and whiny and so miserably pitiful that it pains you even to listen to it, especially when she's clutching you so close to her body--so afraid that you won't be there when she pulls away, so she refuses to. You don't have any right to cry when she's so distraught, but with your head over her shoulder, the other two watch your lips curve downwards and your eyes screw shut into a flood of tears that won't stop easily.

"I'm sorry, Nancy. I'm okay." You whimper, burying your face into her curls until your lips brush her jawline, and she shudders into each gentle, praiseworthy kiss that you press there. Up until her sobs subside, and she breaths a sigh of relief that you can feel from her chest against yours, each one sinking and rising into each other as you breathe along with her. "I thought you didn't want me anymore."

She shakes her head, and finally pulls herself back to look at you, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her cheeks when she gets a good look at you. Nancy touches your face, thumbs away your own tears--and you know she's not just looking at you, but the girl she lost so long ago, whose smile she sees in yours on those days she misses her the most dearly. "I never wanted you more when I thought you weren't coming back," She whispers back. "How could I not want you? I love you."

The kiss she lays upon your lips is breathtaking, shaking and sweet and just....everything. Everything you missed and craved like air and water and life.

You're already halfway into her embrace when she laughs out that half-hearted joke, walking back with you a couple steps when you throw yourself into it. And she squeezes you so tight, so hard, the kisses a flurry of needy, fluttering touches all over your face until she somehow finds your lips--and when she does, she makes that last one a kiss you won't shake off for days, the feeling tingling your lips even when she pulls away. Still rubbing that spot on your back that she knows is sensitive, Robin grips you in an even harder hug that nearly cracks your spine, and whispers into your ear: "I'm so happy you're here with me." before she kisses you one last time, last one, she swears, fingers crossed behind your back. But then, she takes notice to the man standing just a foot away--and she lets you go to turn you around, her fingertips grazing your arms as you finally face him.

"Yeah, she, uh....she cried, like, every night," Even as Robin says it and breaks the quiet, she herself is rubbing tears from her cheeks, trying to keep that smile going as you stand and Nancy loosens her hold. She moves aside for Eddie to lay his hands on her shoulders from behind, and keep her steady on her feet. "So did Steve. I told you he cries when we watch Princess Bride!"

"I-I....I didn't mean it, Steve. I never...I've never thought you were dumb." Your voice comes out as a whimper, fingers fiddling with each other as you endure that big, brown, wide-eyed stare.

"I know." He breathes, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He wants to move, he's antsy, but he won't take another step. "I know, baby."

"Can I hug you?" Steve just nods, but his lip quivers and his features gain that pathetic, sad puppy look, because he was hoping and praying you would say those very words. Your heart soars as he meets your step forward and flings his strong arms tight around your body, crushing you with his huge stature but never loosening up. He instantly brings his hand up to cradle your head against his chest, kissing the crown of it with so much firmness that you know he's reaffirming you're really standing in front of him again.

"I shouldn't have let you leave. I should've slashed your damn tires." He chuckles along with you at the lighthearted crack at breaking the tension, until he chokes up again into a sob. "Nobody could ever replace you. And I swear, I'll never break your heart again."

Steve holds you for a long time, squeezing you and kissing you and brushing strands of hair from your eyes to just look at you, surveying the face of the love he feared he'd never get to cherish again. It's a long time coming, and when he's done, there are three other warm bodies in the room that need attention from the sweet thing they've been killing themselves over these last few weeks.

From there, they catch you up with what had happened in your absence. Steve had walked off to clear his head after you left, and hadn't returned until late in the day--burst through the front door during an unusually quiet dinner and sent them all into a panic, when he realized you really had left and you weren't coming back. The four of them had jumped into action to split up and look for you, Nancy contacted your parents and other family while Steve and Robin tried to find some hint of your whereabouts in the house, cracking open your drawers and notes and realizing how much of your stuff was missing. Meanwhile, Eddie had driven in circles round Hawkins and the outer city limits, trying to find any trace of your car in the dark with the help of passing streetlights.

When those attempts had failed after stretching out into the next day to mid-afternoon, and with your very unhelpful parents insisting they had no idea where you could've gone, that's when your partners had started printing out missing person's flyers and put in an official report with the sheriff's office. And, seemingly having forgotten that you were really the only one who ever checked the voicemail at work, your message tendering your resignation had been errantly erased by your manager--worrying them even further when they questioned him, because if you were really planning on moving away like you said, how could you not tell your employer? It wasn't like you. Their fears had only gotten stronger from there.

The worst had yet to come, though. Because when your car had been found on the side of the road way out in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles away from Hawkins and completely destroyed, the four of them had reached the point of no return. The plates had been torn off, but it was your exact make and model of car, and what were they supposed to believe? That it was just coincidence? That's what Hopper had tried to reassure them with, tried to insist that plenty of cars get found gutted out in the bush, but they couldn't be convinced that it was just some freak happenstance and delude themselves to think that you were fine and dandy somewhere else. The same thing had happened to Max's stepbrother, and they all knew how that had ended.

So started the search parties, the nights spent staying up and studying maps by lamplight, the microwave meals in place of home cooking and sleeping in shifts by the phone, waiting and hoping for some kind of clue to your whereabouts to appear. Finding you had become more important than eating, proper sleep, showering, or attention paid to anything aside from looking towards the horizon to see if you would magically walk back into their lives.

And all that time, you had believed nothing but that they couldn't care less where you were, or what you were doing. When in reality, they could think of nothing but you. That was what had led Eddie to nearly crash into you as you re-entered Hawkins, having been pacing the living room for those long hours after Hop's call until he just couldn't take it anymore--despite the other three trying to stop him, he had dashed out to his van and peeled out of the driveway like a lunatic, just for the slightest chance that he might be there when you needed help. It was so stupid, so reckless, and you'll remember that moment he came rushing around the side of the truck to get to you forever.

Despite them reassuring you about Chrissy, too, when the tears have dried--promising you she's nothing but a friend, and they would have no problems limiting her interaction with all of you from now on--you wave it away, smiling off your stupidity and letting them know that it's fine. You were just being dumb, acting crazy, but you're fine now. And Eddie's eyes narrow at that.

"You're not crazy." He murmurs absentmindedly, and says nothing more until he can slip away from your reunion, and reach the phone in the kitchen. While you're busy dealing with your other partner's crippling absence of affection, he taps his blunt nails into each button, numbly dialing the number he's memorized until the ringing starts and stops.

"Hey, Chris. Angel's back home."

"Oh, that's great! Oh...Eddie, I'm so happy for you. You must be relieved-"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Listen, no hard feelings, but....you're my friend, so I'm just gonna be straight. Don't come by the house anymore."

"I--what? Really? I....Eddie, I'm sorry, if I did something to upset you-"

"No, no, nothing you did. Well, not really. But I know how you feel, Chris, and I can't really ignore it anymore." He swallows deeply, and sucks on his teeth as he tries to think of some better way to say it. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't feel the same. I never have, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like that might change."

"......So that's it?"

"That's it. We can still be friends, but we need space for awhile first, and I'm not gonna ignore you flirting with me anymore. I'm in love and it's not gonna change. Sorry."

"Can we at least talk about it, Eddie? Please? I'd rather talk this out in person."

"No. Bye, Chrissy."

He thuds the phone back on the receiver just a little too hard, and brings his hand up to rub at his neck and try and get the ache out. That didn't feel good, having to confront one of his very few friends with a truth he just wanted to ignore--but the sick feeling he has now can't even compare to how he felt when you were away, and it's an easy decision to make in that regard. He'd take you over her any day. It's a bit of a guilty feeling, but he knows it's the truth even if it hurts Chrissy's feelings, and he's happy even so.

"....Yeah, I missed you real bad, sweetheart. Don't you ever think I wouldn't....or else you are crazy."

"Eddie?" You call out from the living room, and following that sweet voice to its source, he feels himself light up at the sight of you settled back into the couch. Legs tucked up in Robin's lap, halfway into Steve and Nancy's, looking so comfortable and cute as you look up at him. You're where you belong. He's so distracted by the glee and relief of having you home, he didn't even realize how quiet it had been between you all until he came right back from his task. You say nothing more, just hold your arms out to him--and when he gets close enough, you capture him with those pretty eyes of yours, and melt away any ill feeling as you pull him into your chest.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

breathe friend you know tommy is bones in s8, he's not bucks endgame the reliable leaker has literally been clear about that. don't believe anything that psychopath on twitter says, she's literally insane.

oh trust me i don’t believe anything she says lmao

and i know the leaker said that about tommy but tbh that dont mean shit about whether or not they are actually going to fix any of the fuckery they pulled in s7

just because they are allegedly giving tommy the boot doesn’t mean they’re going to actually get their shit together and stop ship baiting us; so like i said until they actually start to give us any indication that they’re going to stop mistreating poc characters for cheap drama and that storylines are actually going to be thought out beforehand rather than thrown together because “ehh, this is good enough” i’m not going to be wasting my time. these shows are meant for entertainment. if i am not being entertained by what’s being done, why am i going to waste my energy on it?

i dont say this to sound snippy or rude, anon, and it is NOT directed at you specifically (and i really hope it doesn’t come across that way i am just bad at emoting through screens 😭😭), i promise, but sometimes it feels like people who try to “talk me off the ledge” in these anonymous asks don’t really look at what i’m actually saying and they jump to the conclusion that i’m just making shit up to panic about, but the fact of the matter is that everything i talked about in that post is something that could feasibly happen… all of buck’s love interests up to this point have not been narratively satisfying; developed or not. so even if tommy does end up going like the leaker said (again not getting my hopes up because things change at the drop of a hat in this business) that doesn’t mean they will actually follow through with queer eddie or that any other potential love interest for buck will be in any way narratively satisfying. i’m not saying i’m closing on buddie, because i will love them and ship them together when my body is six feet under, but after the burning dumpster that was s7 post the cruise ship arc, i don’t have the faith in tim that i had before.

at the end of the day, yes abc is a more accepting and inclusive studio, but it is still that: a studio. a corporation. a money maker. they don’t actually give a fuck about the fans. i have seen time and time again that these shows do this cat and mouse shit with a queer ship and then never follow through, even if one of the characters involved does end up being confirmed queer. maybe it was a little harsh to say that tim is only interested in money, but after how little thought and care he put into last season it’s hard not to feel like he actually cares about the fans who have stuck with this show since the beginning.

i’ve mentioned before that i have stuck with this show for seven years. i have shipped buddie since s2. i witnessed the s4 buildup and subsequent letdown in s5 and 6. I know that was not tim’s fault specifically, that KR and Fox both fucked the show over

but that does not mean that tim won’t also change his mind— we saw evidence of that last minute with all the rewrites that were happening post mid season hiatus with s7. he found out he’s getting another season so he changed the plot of 7b, and if they get a season 9, all the more reason to keep dragging the buddie bait hype along with now true intentions to follow through?

i reslly really reallly wanted to trust tim again especially after the potential he had with the shooting arc in s4, but sometimes it feels like he himself has closed on buddie since then unless it’s done as a last-ditch effort to save the show… again, i’m not saying i think bt is going to be endgame, but just because they aren’t endgame doesn’t mean buddie is and that is what pisses me off. that we will have been waiting for nearly a decade for this ship to go canon, we will have gone through so much hate and vitriol from the bt stans, we have been teased and built up time and time again (even in s7), we have been bait and switched with no satisfactory outcome, and we have been laughed at the entire time, and there is a possibility that none of it will actually pay off, all because some white man gets to call the shots and he’s shown that all he cares about is melodrama and trolling people online to stir up shit.

anyway, i didn’t mean to hijack this post, anon, but i wnated to further expound upon what exactly my point was in my original post, which was not that i believed Bree’s delusions or that the helicopter pilot is buck’s endgame, but that i won’t trust tim to actually go through with anything promising until i start to see actual concrete irrefutable evidence of it.

[youhavethesun]

spoilers for cobra kai season six episodes six/seven:

what the actual hell. I could scream I am SO INCENSED. how could they do this to miguel. I spent the two episodes FUMING at the fact that he’s not captain I’m so sorry I do like robby a lot but miguel deserved that captain spot from the very beginning!!!! hawk saying ‘we all wish it was you’.. and he was right!!!!!!!! I can’t believe this the fact that miguel’s having to leave with johnny.. the worry for carmen I can’t - this is sick. robby losing concentration over and over to tory like helloooo flashbacks to the s4 hawk/robby fight much??? if there’s one thing about robby it’s that he will let his emotions take over I’m so sorry to say (it’s understandable.. but it’s infuriating to watch!!) I’m so furious if they take miguel out of the tournament they better bring him back ASAP if he doesn’t get to fight in the finale I will flip my shit I’m not even kidding… after all he’s gone through. my boy recovered from a coma for this?!! To fight again and instantly have it taken away?. absolutely not.

anywayyyy let’s talk about my boy Miguel absolutely DEVOURINGGGG as usual ugh he is so incredible I love him <3333 literally my son :)) he absolutely destroyed everyone else as he shouldd I mean even in the initial montage of everyone taking hits where was he? nowhere to be found :))) AND THEN THE ELIMINATION TOUND?? TWO AGAINST ONE? I WAS SCREAMING AT MY TV SCREEN he was INSANE. also his ‘watch how it’s done.’ to robby.. well he ate. because literally that’s how it’s done!! he was also very much giving s1/2 no mercy cobra kai miguel at this point and I’m actually living for it because I do love a comeback. you know miguel is always known for his heart and his compassion and sometimes I just love to see him get pissed off on occasion!! he deserves it. as a treat. the speech he gave to robby in the hotel corridor also.. he made only correct points tbh.. did anyone else think his intonation in this scene specifically was weirdly identical to tory’s? something something about them having everything taken away from them and still fighting..

carrying on the other great part of these two eps was the devon/johnny scenes!! did I tear up at the confession and johnny comforting her? maybe. okay nobody talk to me about how the parallels between them and johnny and miguel’s season two talk,…. I am thinking too much. like.. “One thing I'll never regret is all the work I put into students like you. If I ever pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I know you're capable of more than you think. I'll always have your back. All right?” to Devon, vs “But one of the best things has been teaching you, and I want you to know, no matter what happens, I promise... I'll always be on your side, and I'll always have your best interests at heart.” to miguel… my heart.

absolutely love to see it and I’m so relieved for devon’s redemption (and johnny saying he wanted to let her apologise to kenny in her own time? he can be so understanding especially when it comes to the kids where he’s really their sensei you know?) the parallels between him and devon and him with s1/2 miguel are making me very upset I NEED johnny/miguel father son scenes STAT (except not at the expense of carmen because wtf!) would also like some johnny/robby moments please!! just johnny paying attention to his sons more would love that

also with the johnny father figure to devon moment can we talk about miguel bring SUCH an older brother to her in ep 7 especially it’s so sweet? the way he cheers for her before anyone else and his reassuring pats on her shoulder while everyone else is disappointed it’s just .. (very much captain material :((( )

I don’t really have anything to say about sam. she’s there I guess. I’m trying to be nice about her since she hasn’t done anything wrong this season so I am saying nothing. daniel on the other hand… I am irritated to no end by this man it is so upsetting because the original kk movies? daniel is my son!! I love him!! daniel in ck?? this man has me at my wits end every episode why the fuck are you running off IN THE MIDDLE OF A TOURNAMENT ‘I’ll be back in 90 minutes’ my ass!!! why could this not wait until a better time?? this gif is all I could think about the entire time he was kidnapped in that little dog cage

my girl tory however was incredible as usual we love the drama we love to see her casually winning <3333 also on a completely side note was there a the O.C. reference? in the year 2024??

welcome to barcelona bitch!

in summary I’m internally hyperventilating because I can’t stomach the thought of miguel not fighting in the finale please don’t do this to me cobra kai writers please! anxiously waiting until tommorow to watch the next three episodes so please don’t spoil me for them ty :)

[caps-clever-girl]

28 for Mike and bassment ghosts

questions from the ghosts ask game HERE!!! please send more i am very much enjoying these •w•

28: top 5 headcanons for [insert this character here]?

YES!!!! UNDERRATED CHARACTER QUESTIONS!!!!!! i fucking love mike, he deserves SO MUCH on this show, and kiell is SO FUNNY. he had me howling on taskmaster and he really is just playing himself on ghosts with a different name. LOVE the plague ghosts!!!!! i wish we had so much more (esp nigel he's my favourite), i loved them in the newest christmas special <3

MIKE

- adhd KING.

- mike is actually pretty good mates with julian and robin specifically - as good as you can be with incorporeal enteties you cant see or hear. he and robin both learnt a sort of morse code to communicate with general lights, and a stranger things system in one of the non-public rooms of BH. julian uses fridge magnets (word ones and letter ones) to talk to him, as well as keyboards. yes they often use their skills to take the absolute piss, but sometimes they INVOLVE him in their mischief.

- similarly, he can sort of communicate with mary? she walks through him if she really needs his attention, or sets off a smoke alarm (not the house ones, but extra ones they put at person-level). she always says good morning when he and alison come for breakfast :)

- even after he figures out the ghosts arent floating above him, he still looks up and away from them if they've been pricks just to piss them off.

- him and obi have known each other since nursery or reception. when alison married mike she FULLY understood that she was getting obi as part of the package. mikes parents ring obi every christmas and send him presents. they are like his second set of parents.

PLAGUE GHOSTS

- mick absolutely has a crush on cap after s4. cap is far too oblivious to notice though.

- geoff and jean are absolutely an item now. divorce wasnt really a thing back in their day? so geoff and his wife (lollys ghost) just kept on trucking until news of divorce trickled down to the basement (DECADES late) and they immediately were like "oh fuck this marriage." they're better friends now, and jean and geoff are happy :)

- speaking of jean, when walter left nigel behind during "about last night", jean absolutely tore him a new aresehole when she found out. nobody can stand a sad nigel and his big baby blue doe eyes.

- jemima isnt part of the plague pit. shes from a later plague, but she visits reasonably often because the basement folks are like her. she doesnt scare or disgust them, they're like a big family of uncles and aunts to her. however... she doesnt stay down there. she knows she makes the basement folk a little sad, since she reminds them of their own kids - none of whom have stayed as ghosts until the current time. so she drifts in and out. the basement folk are actually delighted by her visits and encourage her to stay more - yes, she does remind them of their long gone kids, and that is sad, but they dont hold it against her and love her company enough it doesnt matter. she doesnt quite believe them though :(

- nigel is very much a caretaker of the group. which is funny because ALL the other ghosts take care of him <3. especially jean. shes very much a mum of the group.

[thestupidhelmet]

Do you think the gang ever did other drugs than just weed, for example LSD or mushrooms? It would make sense given the time period and also the hallucinations they sometimes had after the circle makes no sense if it was just weed.

I don't think they did, and different strains of pot are more hallucinogenic than others. Under certain circumstances or stressors, however, some of the characters might try a psychogenic substance.

Hyde might try shrooms, but he's got the alcoholic tendencies of his parents (Edna and Bud) and is more likely to go down road. Once he's with Jackie romantically, though, he's "less pissed-off enough" not to be drug-seeking / experimenting beyond what he's used to.

In "Can't You Hear Me Knocking?" (S7), he smokes so much pot that it makes him (temporarily) hate the circle. My interpretation / headcanon is that he likes his high at the height of his cheeks, not over his head. That being said, I can see him discovering this fact by dropping acid or taking shrooms with Leo and having a bad trip.

("Why can't Hyde have a good trip?" some may ask. With his unhealed childhood trauma and emotional wounds present and active, I don't believe he would. This is different than the breakthroughs happening now with psychogenic use in psychology for patients with PTSD, which have been a miracle for people who have gotten the treatment.)

Donna might try hallucinogenics under a specific circumstance. During her season four coping-with-grief / self-destructive phase, if Casey or Max (from WFPP Radio) offered her a tab or some shrooms, she might accept -- hoping it would distract her from the great emotional suffering she's experiencing.

In S1-S2, Donna wants to enjoy all the stops on the sexual experience train with Eric and, thus, go slowly rather than jump from kissing to intercourse. In S4, she would have sex with "anyone" to alleviate her grief (in "The Relapse," her own admission). Donna is in such a dire emotional state that it supercedes major parts of her core self and leads to behaviors she otherwise wouldn't do. This is a relatively common phenomenon in people going through trauma, especially teens.

Kelso, pre-Brooke, would try a psychogenic substance if his friends were doing it (hopefully they'd have a sober sitter present in case someone has a bad trip).

Eric might if Donna was into trying it and he wanted to impress her. Otherwise, I don't think he'd be interested. But, really, he'd probably do his best to talk her out of it.

Jackie and Fez -- no. Fez would've heard stories of bad trips that scare him off, and he's not the type anyway. Smoking pot seems more of a fit-in-with / hang-out-with friends deal for him. He wouldn't feel the need for a more intense experience.

Jackie simply wouldn't be interested. (Her imagination is vivid -- and sometimes delusional -- enough without help. 😂)

Ultimately, I don't believe any of the main T7S teens would be into more than pot. LSD opening the doors of perception ... they're good with how open their doors are. 😄

This answer is based on my understanding of the characters. Other interpretations are valid. ✌️

[avatarskywalker78]

How did your Cobra Kai/Karate Kid OCs come to be?

So, the first was Nicky Connors and she came about the same way most of my OCs came about - to give one of my favourite characters a friend, with the added layer of 'what if Johnny had a friend outside of karate who tried to help him but wasn't able to' and I was drawn to this concept as it developed into 'what if Johnny had a friend outside of Cobra Kai who still wanted to learn karate but wasn't allowed in Cobra Kai itself because John Kreese is an asshole' and I really loved this idea, and the OC herself as she grew, of how she sees Johnny and the rest of the Cobras as friends, as people who are just being led down a very bad path and yet being unable to really stop that because she's only one person, and sometimes one person isn't enough to help...only for it to turn out that she does have some influences (and later, her friendships with all of them get repaired after they make amends.)

As for her adopted son James in the CK era, I'd already decided that Nicky couldn't have biological kids, but wasn't bothered by this in the slightest and was happy to adopt - she was going to have a whole bunch of kids to start with, but honestly I think just the one is fine.

Now, the Barnes family started out as side characters in my first Mike fic, trying to settle (the ghosts of my past). I wrote this around three months before S5 came out and by this point I'd given up on watching past S4's mid-point because the whole thing was so bad, but I'd heard rumours that Mike would be returning in S5 and would likely join Cobra Kai and that pissed me off because of all the antagonists he has the least stakes in the situation - like he didn't know and probably wouldn't care about the history, he was literally paid to be there and sure, he lost out on the big payday but like. That was ultimately down to Kreese and Silver for making it complicated instead of just reopening CK anyway.

So then I thought 'what if Mike went and had a normal life with a family and had no interest in being dragged into another insane revenge plot', so that's what happened, and what I wrote of Leah and Elaine and Alex I liked (especially Elaine and her plan to set fire to the CK merchandise that was sent, like the chaotic streak was there already). Elaine herself became more established after S5 came out - I didn't watch it, but I was delighted to find out my prediction about Mike was correct, like he did go on to have a normal life! And he was still in the Valley so his family would be too, and I was always annoyed by the Sam-Tory fight so I thought 'what if someone stopped it' followed by 'what if that someone was Elaine' and hey presto, a fic was born! And I also gave more details about her older sister Sarah because I hadn't mentioned her yet. Leah became more developed after I took what canon gave us - co-owner of the furniture store, which she'd inherited from her father who had also been Mike's boss back in the day.

Gemma is an interesting one - because she initially started out as Johnny's daughter from a previous relationship, Robby's older sister, though the jury was out on whether Johnny knew about her or not. This version of her I had for at least a few months, but it didn't go ahead because:

When it comes to creating legacy OCs, especially children, I have to have some kind of connection to the canon character in question, some element of 'they'd be a good dad' and I just wasn't getting that with Johnny

I also didn't see how I could make this story fresh - Johnny's already abandoned one kid, do we really need to see that rehashed?

Then when I was writing my Cobra Kai Mini Rewrites I realised I was much more invested in having him repair his relationship with his actual, canon kid - but I wasn't going to give up on the OC after how much work I'd put into it, so I thought ' what if she was his cousin', which soon sparked off a whole thing about Laura's family because we know very little, but my headcanon was always that she was kicked out at 18 after falling pregnant with Johnny and I thought 'what if she had a much younger sister who came looking for her decades later and had a kid' because I love tragic family dynamics, but also I just found the idea of Johnny having an aunt who could be his sister and a cousin who could be his niece, because the age thing makes it a bit strange for him.

Also I liked the idea of having the running joke of 'I know she looks like my kid but she's not my kid' with most people Gemma runs into assuming this because they look very similar - and sometimes she'll play up to this solely to troll Johnny because it's very funny to do so.

talk shop tuesday

[basicallyjaywalker]

For the OC ask game

Jackie Fei: 1, 11, and 19

Hannah Stone: 4, 12, and 24

Roxie Andrews: 8, 20, and 25

TOASTY!!!!! Back again to allow me to lore dump (ty for the ask!!!!)

Jackie Fei:

1: Her voice? Hmm, I don't have a voice claim for her yet but I always imagined it as very clear and firm, like a bell ringing the time. There's something very sure in the way she speaks.

11: Her family life? Hmm, in terms of biological family, her parents are dead. Her relationship with her mother is very loose, built on stories she's told by those who knew her. She knows nothing about her father, since he was someone her mother met long after she lost touch with the other elemental masters.

She was raised by a caretaker named Madame Donadieu who really, really didn't like her. Treated her more like a servant than a child. Jackie doesn't consider her family, but does acknowledge that woman raised her, unfortunately.

Her family as she knows it now is her team and the ninjas. Master Twyla is the closest thing to a mom she's ever had and she considers Misako like a second mom. Kai is very close to an annoying brother. She, Hannah, and Roxie all have a close connection, each due to the similarities they share in their pasts. Traumabonding talks at 3 AM when?

19: Reaction to betrayal? Absolutely crushed, but depending on the severity of the betrayal, ready to cut ties. Worst case scenario, you've also got a pissed off magic-user who it's on sight with.

Jackie stakes a lot in her trust, especially because sometimes she's trusted too easily and it's come back to bite her (Hello, Overlord). Betraying her, getting her or her friends hurt in the process, is an excellent way to make a terrible enemy.

Hannah Stone:

4: Her insecurities? Feeling weak or helpless. When she was still on Chen's Island, she constantly dealt with taunts of her being weak. She was constantly beaten and bruised to train her to take on every other elemental master in the future. As a result, she's very insecure about being vulnerable and it takes a lot of trust from her to see her in any state that's not trying to be "tough."

12: Romantic life? Mwahaha, shipping chart time

Her first girlfriend was Skylor! Though she didn't know that Skylor was Chen's daughter and figured she was the child of another cult member, like Kyle was. Skylor was sometimes sent to check on her and take care of her and they ended up taking a liking to each other. Unfortunately, you shouldn't combine the daughter of a manipulative cult leader who has yet to unlearn her brainwashing and the volatile human weapon he's training, that's not healthy for either of them. They broke things off right before Hannah and Kyle escaped. They're on good terms post-s4, but anything romantic has been tabled.

She and Nataly had something for a little while, but it didn't last. It was way too soon after Hannah left Chen's Island and she still wasn't willing to be emotionally open or available. They're still good friends and close confidants.

Her and Kai... well, they're kind of my end game. They mesh well with each other. Whereas Kai's mellowed out more already, Hannah's still got that hotheadedness. I think he'd provide her with some stability and support she desperately needs. Plus, I love couples who, while they bicker and poke fun at each other, still love each other all the same.

Bonus: Kai helps her cut and dye her hair sometimes. When they'd been dating for a while, she got red streaks and he helped her put them in.

24: What motivates her? Two things:

Self-motivation: spite and malice! Listen, is it super healthy? No. But something that kept her from turning tail and running during the Tournament was going in there and winning the damn thing so she could spit in Clouse's stupid face. Often, that desire to spit in the face of whoever is what drives her to do other things. Bonus if that whoever is a shitty authority!

External motivation: protecting her friends/family. While the opportunity to spit in Chen's stupid face kept her going on the Island, it was her friends who got her there to begin with. They were going to go and she wanted to keep them safe. She knew the Island and Chen better than them, so she swallowed her fear and came with.

Roxie Andrews:

8: What she likes to eat? Anything home-cooked tbh. Homecooked meals for her were a rarity and it shows that you care enough to put time and effort into making something for her, and that means a lot. It can taste terrible even and she'll still love it.

20: Reaction to a mystery love letter? Schoolgirl giggling and daydreaming about who it could be. Flustered and embarrassed but in a good way!!! Absolutely telling all of her friends about it.

25: Why I enjoy her? Roxie is one of my most down-to-earth characters, compared to the others. She's unshakeable. She's caring. She's one of the few who are so genuinely goodhearted and noble that I have trouble imagining her turning evil or hurting people. There's something about her that just makes me want to hold her and give her only good things. I gave her parental issues and a crippling sense of self-doubt instead, but that's neither here nor there.

Also, it's really funny to imagine her dealing with her team. She is the leader because she is the most stable of the six, which isn't saying much. She's got them all on child leashes except for Jackie, who just cannot be the leader because she's too likely to get herself killed. Somebody get this poor girl an aspirin.

Original ask game here!

[kmze]

"Caroline chose not to take the cure because she was a better human as a vampire". This makes me wanna say so much but I shall refrain from that. * deep breath* He is the same person who once again victim blamed Caroline on that special short they did: "she knew he(Damon) was bad news but she was acting out". UN-FUC*ING-BELIEVABLE! Another thing that I remember from that short was Nina saying something like 'the girls are each others' true loves..." and Kat probably said that the girls were each others' sisters.I was like WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT? 8 seasons of that show and the girls' friendship had the least amount of screen time.Elena treated Caroline and Bonnie as dirt under her shoes.Bonnie was the magical portable device for her white 'bestie' AND her brother! Caroline and Bonnie were probably better friends than whatever they had with Elena.But the writers neither spared their friendship nor developed them as a complex female bond,once elena was gone, since they weren't revolving in Elena's orbit anymore.And the finale decisions were made keeping Elena in mind.Not Caroline.Not Bonnie! Elena got her picket fence human life while Caroline got a cheque from her abuser and Bonnie was still romancing her dead ghost boyfriend!

Alright Anon let's talk about it because I am so tired of how much KW got hand waved responsibility for the Caroline and Andie storylines in S1 and S2 when he was the one in charge. Got long so under the cut:

The reason he did those storylines as well was to prop Elena and be like see Damon would never compel Elena because she's too pure and special unlike these pions Caroline and Andie. I think KW saw Caroline the exact same way he saw Jen on Dawson's Creek who he killed off in the series finale (after he left for like 4 years sound familiar) just a prop to the other characters. Julie on the other hand ended up loving Caroline and basically switched from Elena to Caroline as her #1 gal around S4 (the sirebond storyline felt like the big turning point) and once Nina said she was leaving Caroline got her huge arc in S6 where Stefan was HER love interest.

The girls friendship was really such window dressing when you really thought about it lol. I noticed it so much in my rewatch, in S1 Bonnie and Elena seemed to only tolerate Caroline because she was just always their friend and it was convenient. Then in S2 Bonnie became a friggin' martyr trying to protect Elena and basically being A-OK with going on a suicide mission to save her while Caroline was more involved with Tyler and the werewolf plot. Then in basically S3-5 Bonnie existed just to sacrifice her happiness for Elena and Caroline would appear every once in awhile to stick up for Bonnie but Caroline became closer to Stefan than she did to Bonnie and Elena as the seasons went on.

I actually think both Bonnie and Jeremy got dragged down by Elena and I almost felt like Jeremy stuck up for Bonnie against Elena and thankfully by S6 they were both free of her. Caroline and Elena were always more rivals than best friends even if the show wanted to keep telling us they were best friends. You really saw that in their no humanity arcs because NH!Elena was SUPER jealous of Caroline with her storming over to break-up Stefan and Caroline dancing or stealing Caroline's prom dress she was voicing the fact that Elena was pissed Caroline took the "crown" from her. And NH!Caroline kept mocking Elena for making everything about herself and how she the world used to revolve around her. I don't really blame the actress' for their comments though because that's not their job to get into the complexities of the relationships especially in like an interview setting, the writers should have done more.

This is a point I differ with a lot of fandom on because I don't really think Elena got the better ending of the two girls because she was still essentially killed off. I'm also not someone who bought into the "humanity is beautiful" crap this show pulled sometimes, why would you want to give up your superpowers knowing how easy it is to die as a human in this world. But that's not to say Bonnie and Caroline didn't get tragic endings as opposed to Elena who got Damon even if that felt like default because the writers told us nothing about their life together and they didn't even share dialogue in the finale.

I think this is where KW and JP butted heads with the finale in terms of Elena vs. Caroline more than even any of the ships because KW probably would have killed Caroline off (a la Jen Lindley) to do an implied SE endgame and JP said absolutely not but she would concede to killing Stefan especially because he was human now and lost a lot of his pizzazz to her. I feel like KW only looked at the story from TVD's perspective and didn't think about the overall universe that had been created so he wanted everyone human as opposed to JP who wanted to keep some supes around so she could continue the universe. There was some rumor I've seen that JP wanted to move Stefan to TO at one point and I wonder if Paul had agreed to continue on and guest star on TO S5 with Candice the series finale would have been different (though human Stefan would have served no purpose on TO). Because really and truly the "triangle" for all three shows aka the verse ended up being Klefaroline not the triangle of doom, KC and SC were the only ships referenced on all three shows and in significant ways.

[literatikoo]

Jess Mariano's alleged communication problems

If there is one thing the Gilmore Girls fandom agrees upon, whether you're team Jess or Dean or Logan, it's that Jess isn't great at communicating. There's just a consensus that he's not great at discussing his problems and that's the number 1 reason why his and Rory's relationship blew up in their face in season 3. But... this is a (somewhat) unfounded complaint? Don't get me wrong, I know Jess can be harsh and rude and really knows how to hit the nail on the head sometimes but there are also multiple instances where he talks after being pushed a little. Like every single time he's talked to Luke about Rory problems ("The girls I like don't give a damn about me," "I told her I loved her" and the infamous swan episode) or when he tells Rory, a girl he barely knows, that his mom doesn't want him back for Christmas.

The problem with Jess is that he picks and chooses who to communicate too. He definitely doesn't talk about Liz to Luke because he knows that Luke just doesn't believe that Liz is a bad person and a neglectful mother. And seriously, we've seen Luke enable Liz' terrible behaviour multiple times on the show, do you really think he would've believed whatever Jess had to say about her? He talks to Rory about Liz that one time and she doesn't believe him either and both we and Jess know that she has a right to that because she's never met Liz, but this is still enough for Jess to never bring her up again (at least from what we see) because he's a 17 year old kid with a terrible relationship with his parents. NO 17 year old kid who's been treated bad by their parents would want to open up about it because it's pretty strongly ingrained in us that having negative emotions against your parents is WRONG. On the other hand, Jess knows that Luke sees his and Rory's relationship and may even help because he has his own unique relationship with the Gilmore Girls, which is why he's much more open about Rory and even seeks advice on occasion.

Now, let's talk about Jess' less than stellar communication moments:

1. Lying about school and Walmart: Jess skives off school a LOT to work at Walmart and save up money. He doesn't tell anyone about it. Why? Because for everyone else in Stars Hollow, and for most of us too, school is important and education is a positive thing needed for growth. But who knows how often Jess went to school before SH, we already know he has a bad relationship with the educational system but why? When he goes back to NY in s2 it's obvious he's not going to school and we know Liz moved around a lot so he may be a lot more behind in school than we know. Yes, he's smart and he reads a lot but that's not enough to do well in school; you need to be able to conform a fair amount and I don't think Jess even went enough to know that. Jess already wasn't planning on going to college and he knows that living with Luke is temporary, which is why he puts more importance into saving up money. He was already working for the future, just in a different way from everyone else. It's obvious that he also wasn't planning to flunk out of school, it happened because he wasn't attending enough not because he was failing (which pisses me off so much don't even get me started). He was going to graduate and then he was going to use the money he saved up while looking for a job that suited him. And that's a pretty solid plan honestly, especially since he didn't have the luxury to suddenly decide to go to 4 year college because his girlfriend told him too like Dean. But this is something else he just couldn't talk about to Luke or Rory, who both think he's capable of great things within the academic sphere. Mind you, once Luke found out he was skipping school he didn't deal with things in the best way either. He stole his car, effectively cutting off Jess' last bit of independence. I really feel like Jess was just waiting to graduate before he had THE talk with Rory about their future, and it was obvious he was thinking longterm ("22.8 miles"). That is before everything goes to shit.

2. Keg! Max!: Let me preface this by saying that Jess definitely made irreversible mistakes in this episode... but it wasn't for the lack of trying. This is the episode that he finds out he's not graduating and we can see him struggling with this information, he's tense and angry and his emotions are simmering. His interactions with Rory, which are usually so easygoing, are surrounded by this air of finality. At this moment, he knows he's going to lose her and his home with Luke because that's what the deal was. But he still goes with her to that party and he still does the bare minimum of mingling. Throughout the party he tells Rory that he wants to leave, I'm guessing to talk to her about what happened. But they don't (this is NOT Rory's fault btw, she had no way to know what happened either) and instead Jess' emotions get the better of him. This is the first of the two instances where we really see how non communicative Jess can be. However I still maintain that if Dean hadn't gotten involved, Jess and Rory would've been able to talk. (fuck Dean)

3. Jess leaves: This is the second case where we see him being truly non communicative, and unfortunately I don't have much to say in his defence. Except that he probably was still reeling from losing his home and meeting his Dad and just didn't know how to put that insane amount of emotion into words. He also probably thought that Rory just didn't want to talk to him anymore because of how terribly he treated her, especially since he was just going to give her more bad news. He could see himself self destructing, and didn't want Rory to be collateral damage.

4. Smaller instances (Swan song, Not calling Rory, fighting with Lorelai): Okay, I think the swan incident was Rory's fault, because he was telling her the truth and just didn't want to get into it in front of Emily. But she wasn't ready to hear it until she talked to Dean, which honestly was a sucky move on her part. The not calling her when he said he would while they were dating in that one random episode was also a similar misunderstanding. The thing in common with both of these instances was that he was ready to learn afterwards; he said he was willing to go back to Emily's house and he bought them tickets to the Distillers and from what the show tells us they had a lot more consistent date nights after that. This was Jess' first proper relationship and he was really trying. Now the Lorelai thing... he just didn't want her in his business. They had no relation to each other and she was very condescending to him the first time they met, he wasn't great either but when an adult talks to you the way she did after you've just been uprooted at your mothers whims, you tend to hate them a little. And honestly I always thought that Jess being weirded out by Lorelai's involvement in his and Rory's relationship was more normal 17 year old behaviour than Dean being overly friendly with her.

So, in conclusion, because he made two big fatal communication mistakes, he's labelled as the broody non talking type. When we see most of the characters actually do the same (Rory drops out of Yale and cuts off ties with her mother, Lorelai sleeps with Christopher after months of miscommunication with Luke, Luke doesn't tell Lorelai, his fiance, that he has a daughter), seriously, they've all made mistakes and this doesn't diminish the mistakes that Jess has made and the hurt he has caused, but he also doesn't deserve to have non communicative as a personality trait. If it was seriously that big of a problem, he wouldn't have been able to grow from it that quickly (by the end of s4) and by reading self help books of all things. I also think it comes off like that because he was in the show for so little time, and that's what the writers chose to focus on.

So tldr, Jess isn't as non communicative as the show wants us to believe and he definitely isn't broody.

[sersumdeorsum]

STRANGER THINGS SEASON 4 V1 & V2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. PERSONALS / NON-RP ACCOUNTS DNI. 

UPDATED 07/07/2022 WITH NEW HEADCANONS.

okay so i’ve taken a good 24hr since i watched vol 2 to just let it sit and wait for my mind to figure this shit out. under the cut is what i’m going to be doing with max, considering she’s my most used muse here. some of this will be canon divergent for reasons i’ll list under the cut. i’m also taking this opportunity to say here, like i’ve said over at @hcrgrove, the only max that is mikey and billy’s ( @hargrxve )  sister in their twin verse is my max unless you have plotted with both myself AND cat that this is different for your max. that’s not to say my max is exclusive to them because that’s not it at all, i have some awesome threads with other billy’s (looking @ u @turnedahero). it’s just becoming a lil problem on mikey so i figured i’d mention it.

firstly, because this (and all the billy slander in that ep) pissed me the fuck off: everything that max said about billy when luring vecna was just that, a lure. sure, she had fleeting moments in the beginning wishing that something would happen and he would disappear, but as she got to know him and what he’d been through - all of the abuse that went on through his childhood and in the home they shared together - max softened to him. she became a protector, of sorts. sure she was younger and didn’t have much of the ability to, but she stood up to neil where she could. and hey, she shared something in common with him, right ? shitty dads. he was her brother, whether they liked it or not, and especially after neil was gone, they grew closer. once she understood, she never ever thought him weak. she loves him. 

everything else STILL happened. at the end of s4 vol2 max was in a coma, lost. she died in the upside down, still in vecna’s grasp. when el went into her mind, she found nothing because max wasn’t there. she’s not in there, in her own body; her spirit, soul and memories are all trapped in the upside down. vecna needs to either die, or she needs to be brought through from the upside down back into real hawkins for her to wake up. she will NOT wake up until this happens. 

POST-VOL2: her friends figure it out, with the help of her brothers and eddie, and she ends up waking up. it takes a long time though, perhaps too long. when she wakes, billy, mikey and eddie are there quickly, as soon as the hospital calls them. they break the news robbie died that day, and she was in the coma for so long that the funeral has long since been and gone. (reaction drabble to come soon). her memories still fuzzy. reading the letters that she handed out whilst at risk of vecna helped to put things into place a little bit but everything is still a little bit fuzzy. 

EDIT 07/07/2022: when she wakes up, there’s a lot of work before max can be released. whilst all her injuries are healed by the time she wakes up, because of the time spent in the coma she is very weak. she lost muscle mass and her bones became weaker, more brittle. until she put on some weight they kept her in a wheelchair and started with small exercises to strengthen the muscles, joints and bones. then it moved to walking aids which she used for a while, even when she first got out of the hospital. she can walk without them now, but sometimes max still struggles. she gets frustrated with it, especially considering it’s clear their fight isn’t over yet but it’s just how things are. at least she’s alive. 

[spacedlexi]

I'm scared Tillie will declare Clem a lesbian even though she's canonically bisexual

ok the asks are really comin in sfkjs i dont want to talk about this much more because it frustrates me BUT theres something that makes me especially upset about these new romances that i feel the need to mention (and havent seen anyone else bring up):

in s4, the writers were very deliberate in giving the players as much control over the season as they could. this also applied to the romances, and even if clem got into a romance AT ALL. yes you had to at least Befriend violet or louis, but the romance was a Choice (a choice i can never pass up shdfskd let my bby be happy). clementine can end the season without ever getting into a relationship

but skybound is claiming these comics are canon. and they are very focused on the romance/sexuality aspect of the comic (based on the synopsis and panels where theyve talked about it). which means, whatever romances happen in this comic, and whoever clem might end up with (because who knows what they plan on writing), will in the eyes of skybound BE CANON

and that REALLY pisses me off. just like everything else ive read about this comic, im waiting for them to rehash the romance arc of s4 as well. im waiting for them to do the same thing where you had to chose between violet or louis, but instead this time clem will have feelings for another boy and girl (im assuming amos is the boy, unless they end up making him an aj surrogate, we dont know anything but his name and that hes amish?). and the sexuality focus will be about clem and her bisexuality (and choosing between them?)

louis and violet are great options for clem. i love them both. and i liked that louis and violet were already close friends before clem even arrived. theyre important to each other, which is made clear by the speeches they have about each other in ep 3. so theres not really any competition between them, except for probably some teasing (like louis looking at violet when he asks clem if she has a crush on anyone). i bet they talked with each other about their clem crushes behind the scenes. and thats really sweet! i love louis and violets relationship. theyre best friends!!

and in regards to clem, her bisexuality is just... a part of her? its never brought up in some grandiose way. she just... is bisexual. and i love that about her. theres no "oh no is it weird to like girls?? IM A GIRL??" because she grew up in the apocalypse, and wouldnt really have had those ideas pushed onto her. she just likes who she likes. sometimes its nice to have representation where people are confident in their sexuality? and not having to see them struggle with it? theres room for both forms of representation obviously, but we dont really see much of characters just being confident in themselves (especially without first struggling through it). so im afraid that tillie (since shes the sole writer?), is gonna make a Big Deal out of it....

so yeah. TLDR im mad that violet/louis (who are great characters) are determinant, while these new romance characters will be "canon". and im afraid theyre gonna turn clems confidence in her sexuality into hesitation/a plot point. like i didnt get into the walking dead for romance. i got into it because it was an interesting story with interesting characters. and im not thrilled that they plan on putting a focus on romance and sexuality. the romance in s4 was just a nice surprise that lent to the theme of finding a family and a home, not a focal point...

[alphinias]

I feel like this will be a controversial opinion, but i've always loved Clarke more than Raven and Octavia. In later seasons i feel like C was getting way more shit than she deserved, even though i too was not agreeing with her actions sometimes. However, i would much rather have a character like Clarke, rather than the constantly judgmental and arrogant Raven. The last time i liked R was in S4 where finally she started realizing the consequences her actions can have.

Oh no bestie this is a safe space because that is 100% the correct opinion. I’m not going to say Clarke never did anything annoying, she did in fact especially in S3, but I always felt for her and liked her.

I won’t get super into why I disliked Octavia and Raven because I feel like it would piss some people off and it’s an argument I frankly don’t care to have anymore, but I will say in S1? Absolutely adored Raven. It was a slow descent of annoying self righteousness from there which is unfortunate.

Bellamy and Clarke were the only characters I consistently liked on that show. Others had their moments but then inevitably ended up making me want to throw them into a fire at some point or several.

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

[lonestarbabe]

Ive seen people start to speculate about the second half of lone star. Most seem to think that Grace and Judd will make it out alive and maybe Grace will find out she’s pregnant (while still at the hospital recovering or in the finale). And also TK moves in with Carlos. I honestly think that Grace and Judd will both make it. They’ll be traumatized and hurt but I think they will be alive and be rescued. They’re still in s2 so I doubt lone star writers are trying to kill anyone off. I joked about this on another blog but this isn’t a Shonda Rhimes Production lmao they aren’t gonna kill off our faves with no warning. I respect Shonda as a creator and showrunner but it pisses me off how she (or the writers of her shows) does it so much lmao. But anyway back to lone star- they’re still in s2 so I doubt they will kill anyone off. And I mean not to compare to 9-1-1 but I can’t help it sometimes. 9-1-1 still has all their main characters alive. They have all been through hell and back, but they’re all alive and it’s s4 for them. I would be kind of annoyed if lone star pulled the trigger and decided to k word one or both of our faves. Grace doesn’t get enough screen time and Judd has already been through enough it would just suck to see that be his end. But I don’t think this will be the case. I think they’ll both make it but it will be an episode that maybe has us anxious until they’re pulled out and recovering in the hospital

I feel certain that no one is going to die in 2x09. I would bet everything in my checking account on it, which is not that much, but still! I really don’t think they’d kill them. They’re just trying to be dramatic in my view, and they’re doing well at it. You are so right lol. This is not Shondaland. We’re not watching how to get away with murder or the likes. And yeah, there’s really no need to kill anyone off, especially main cast members. They also just killed Tim, so they can’t be too heavy-handed with the death button. It would be crazy if they went the kill route, and I’d probably rage for weeks, but I honestly have not a single fear that they will do that. Normally, I am an anxious person, but I feel so zen and confident in Grace and Judd’s survival lol. Perhaps, I have too much hubris in this assertion lol, but I’m sticking with it!

[yxlenas]

Isaac, new betas, growing pains, and a supernatural hit list complete with professional killers Clearly canon divergent s4 AU. Allisaac, because duh. I am convinced that Liam and Isaac would not like each other, at least at face value. for Alyssa, like always @electricbluebutterflies

“I don’t like him,” Isaac grumbles into her bare chest, head pushed up between her boobs. Allison cards her fingers through his hair and works through another math problem, trying not to laugh.

“I know,” she says, and Isaac makes an angry cat noise.

“I’m serious,” he whines, “he was already too good at lacrosse and now he’s a werewolf. We didn’t need another beta.”

“Was Scott supposed to let him fall off the roof, then?” Allison asks him, erasing a step and reworking it with the right method. Her phone buzzes with a text from Lydia, saying she’s coming over. Allison sends her a picture of Isaac’s curly head nestled between the soft cups of her bra and a grumpy faced emoji. Lydia texts back that she’ll bring snacks. Isaac makes another subvocal sound of displeasure.

“Yes,” he says, no real heat in his voice. He doesn’t mean it, he’s not that heartless, he’s just feeling territorial. Scott is his alpha and his brother, and Isaac was used to being the only wolf beta. He and Malia get along like a house on fire (which gives Allison a migraine, sometimes) and she knows he’s secretly anxious that a new pack member is going to upset the balance.

“Lydia is coming over,” Allison tells him, pushing at the side of his head until he lifts it, “which means I have to put on a shirt, and you should probably at least have on a pair of boxers.”

“Mmm,” Isaac grunts, biting at her belly and grinning when her muscles contract, “are you sure?”

“You’re fucking incorrigible,” Allison tells him, flicking the tip of his nose gently, “now get dressed.”

Liam is very aware Isaac doesn’t like him, because Isaac isn’t exactly a master of subtlety. Allison thinks Liam is more than a little scared of him too, because Isaac is definitely more lupine than Scott and less clueless than Malia. It does have some benefits from what Allison can tell from up in the bleachers at the scrimmage, though, when Isaac grabs him by the collar of his jersey and tosses him into the dirt before he can rip one of Devenford Prep’s midfielders a new asshole. She watches as he struggles against Isaac’s grip, looking for all the world like a very angry puppy, but Isaac is taller and stronger and much, much better at being a werewolf than Liam is.

Allison gathers her purse and picks her way down the bleachers, Lydia and Malia on her heels. They shove their way into a spot closer to the actual field, and Isaac lopes over to her, pulls his helmet off, and kisses her hard. Allison giggles, then pushes at his chest.

“Try not to kill the kid or break his spine, please,” she tells him, cupping his cheek. Isaac nods once and presses their lips together again. Stiles wolf whistles and Isaac flips him off.

“You two are disgusting,” Malia says. Allison can’t tell if she’s joking or not, but she bumps her with a shoulder gently. On the bench, Liam glowers at Isaac, and Isaac grins nastily back.

When they both go missing a few days after the discovery of the Deadpool and the terrifying realization that everyone she loves is on a hit list, there’s a part of Allison that hopes Isaac finally got sick of Liam and threw him in a lake or something.

The alternative is much, much more terrifying.

Isaac wakes up on his back at the bottom of a ravine in agonizing pain, a 15 year old kid hovering over him and looking terrified. Isaac does not feel terrified. Isaac feels annoyed, and achy, and like he might throw up.

Liam is babbling, and whatever head injury Isaac definitely sustained? Liam’s babbling is making it much, much worse.

“Shut. Up.” he groans.

“Oh, oh god you’re awake-”

“Liam,” Isaac grunts, “Liam, shut up, please. If you don’t shut up I will puke on you.”

“Sorry,” the kid gasps, “Sorry, sorry, sorry-”

“Liam,” Isaac says, feeling much more strained this time around, “Please.”

Liam shuts up. Isaac realizes that Liam is pressing two shaky hands to Isaac’s chest, and that those hands are covered in blood and black goo. Oh, yay. Great. Today is going very badly. Isaac tries to sit up, but can’t. He tries to move a leg, but can’t.

“You’re uh, kind of paralyzed,” Liam says, “I think. I think I saw your spine through your skin.”

“Where the fuck are we,” Isaac snarls, and Liam goes white.

“Um. I don’t know? In the woods. You broke my fall. With-with your body,”

“Call Allison, then call Derek and Scott” Isaac grunts.

“Both phones are...broken?” Liam says. He looks about five seconds away from passing out even though Isaac is the one probably dying.

“So call Scott,” Isaac rasps. His head is starting to spin, and his spine definitely isn’t healing. He isn’t going to heal, not as long as the bullets are in his chest.

“Just so you know,” Isaac slurs out, feeling dazed and sick, “I’m never taking bullets for you again.”

“What do you mean call Scott,” Liam says, “I told you the phones were broken.”

“I mean roar,” Isaac says. His stomach finally gives up completely and he turns his head to the side and throws up greyish black bile. Liam gags himself, and Isaac rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know how,” Liam hisses, looking completely frantic, “You and Scott haven’t taught me.”

“So figure it out,” Isaac says, coughing up a mouthful of sludge, “because I am not dying in this place with only you for company.”

Liam looks guilty. Good. If he wasn’t such an idiot and hadn’t gone careening into the woods after lacrosse practice because he was pissed off they wouldn’t be in this mess. Isaac coughs up another mouthful of black gunk.

“Allison will kill you,” Isaac tells him, “If I die here, by the way. She’s kind of attached to me, if you haven’t noticed.”

Liam just stares at him. Isaac would absolutely strangle the little shit if he was strong enough to move.

“Okay,” he slurs, “Alright, fine. I will do it. I will immediately pass out, and then you’re on your own.”

Isaac tilts his head back and howls miserably, as loud as he can, even as his vision greys out and his stomach rolls. He keeps howling until he passes out.

Scott finds them first. Liam has never been happier to see Scott in his life, especially since he’s being trailed by Derek and Stiles and Allison. Isaac is still very unconscious, and looking worse by the second. Every time he breathes more black stuff foams out of his mouth, and Liam is very concerned that Allison is going to kill him. Isaac likes to make empty threats to scare him, because Isaac is terrifying, but Liam isn’t sure that one is so empty.

Isaac may be terrifying, but Allison is 10 times worse.

“Liam?”

“Down here!” he yells, voice shaking. Isaac makes an awful gasping sound when Scott lands in the dirt next to them, grabbing Isaac’s face.

“Isaac,” Scott says, “Isaac. Wake up. Derek! Get down here.”

“Is he okay? Are they both okay?”

That’s Allison’s voice, sounding high and strained. He can smell her fear which is a new and terrifying ability.

Derek lands hard next to Liam and Liam lets out a very undignified yelp of fear. Isaac groans, eyes opening.

“Derek,” he slurs, and with Scott’s help Derek hefts Isaac into his arms. Isaac screams. Scott gags a little suddenly, and Liam sees why. Isaac’s back is definitely broken, compound fracture, and he can see bloody vertebrae.

Yep. Allison is definitely going to kill him.

“He needs a hospital,” Allison says, curled over Isaac protectively where he lays on his side, “Deaton can’t fix his back when it’s like that, can he? There’s no way.”

Scott is pacing, looking from Liam to Isaac to Derek to Stiles. Derek is taking Isaac’s pain, and Liam is bouncing from foot to foot. Someone tried to kill him. Someone tried to kill him, and he’s only been a werewolf for like a month and a half, and now Allison is going to kill him because someone trying to kill him almost got her scary werewolf boyfriend killed-

Stilles grabs him by the shoulders and gives him a little shake. Liam takes a deep breath.

“Take him to Deaton,” Derek says, “And if Deaton can’t fix him we take him to the hospital.”

Isaac bites Derek in the shoulder when he moves him. Derek snarls at him. Isaac snarls back weakly, eyes flashing golden. Allison approaches him and Liam flinches away, but then she takes his hand and squeezes. Isaac’s blood is still wet on both their palms.

“Are you okay,” she asks him, and Liam does a double take.

“Isaac-”

“I know how Isaac is,” Allison soothes, “But Derek and Scott have him, and he can heal.”

“I’m so sorry-” and then he’s babbling again, and Allison reaches for him and Liam flinches away from her but she’s not stabbing him, she’s hugging him.

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Isaac said you were gonna kill me,” Liam stutters. Allison rolls her eyes.

“You really have to stop listening to him.” Allison says, “90% of the time he’s just fucking with you, because he’s an asshole.”

“I heard that,” Isaac slurs weakly from Derek’s arms.

Deaton it turns out can patch up Isaac, and Liam gets bullied into helping hold him down. Lydia, Kira, and Malia meet them at the vet clinic, and Liam watches in a nauseating combination of awe, fear, and confusion as Lydia starts stroking through Isaac’s hair even as he snaps at her fingers.

“Yes, yes. You’re very scary. Calm down, I just got my nails done and if you keep trying to take my hands off I’ll make you pay for my ruined manicure.

Deaton resets Isaac’s spine. Allison is helping, deftly avoiding claws and teeth while she pulls shotgun pellets out of her boyfriend’s chest.

“Why are you all so calm?” Liam bursts out suddenly where he’s holding Isaac’s legs on the metal table.

“This happens more than you might think,” Allison says drily, dropping another shotgun pellet into a bowl.

Liam barely makes it to a chair before he has a stress inducing fainting episode.

Isaac wakes up in Allison’s bed with Derek sitting next to him, feeling like he got run over by a bus, then a train, then another bus. He groans, taking a deep shuddery breath and catching Derek’s earth-cedar-leather scent and Allison’s when he turns his head into the pillow, mostly the lavender of her soap. Chris is there too, and Melissa, and Lydia.

“Hey,” Derek says, and the hand not in his brushes across Isaac’s forehead, “You okay?”

“Feel like shit,” he moans, “Liam?”

“Uh, terrified,” Derek says, “and very stressed, because he watched Allison pull shotgun pellets out of your chest, but in one piece.”

“Little shit,” Isaac mumbles, “Told him not to go running off without warning.”

“I told you not to do stuff fairly often that you did anyway,” Derek says, and Isaac groans, rolling his eyes. It makes his brain throb, which makes his neck hurt, then the rest of his spine. He bites down on his lip, hard. Derek grips his wrist tightly, black veins running up his arm, and after a few seconds Isaac can breathe again.

“Can I get up,” he asks after a few seconds. Derek shakes his head.

“Your spine is still healing. So is the rest of you. Stay down. I can go get everyone, or whoever you want, yeah?”

“Allison,” Isaac says, “And Lydia?”

“Melissa is probably going to come too, you know,” Derek says. Reluctantly Isaac lets go of his hand.

Allison comes in with Lydia hot on her heels, Allison sitting on the bed next to him and kissing his face. Melissa and Chris are hanging back in the doorway

“Please don’t ever do that to me again.” She says, trying for stern. Isaac grins at her weakly, trying to ignore the fact that without Derek’s hand in his, his pain is ramping up. Lydia sits neatly in Derek’s recently vacant chair and squeezes his hand.

“You,” she says, twining his fingers with hers, “Almost bit my fingers off.”

“Sorry,” he rasps. He can feel sweat standing out on his forehead, and he digs the back of his head into the pillows.

“Here, honey,” Melissa says gently, and then she’s placing a pill on his tongue and a cup to his mouth. Painkillers. Hopefully, at least, painkillers. He swallows, and a hand curls around the one Lydia isn’t holding, a big rough one that Isaac knows is Derek’s. The pain lessens. Isaac sags against the pillows of the bed.

“I knew you liked him,” Allison murmurs, “You’re just full of shit.”

“Just because I didn’t let some weird professional assassins kill him doesn’t mean I like him,” Isaac slurs. It’s just them now, curled together on the mattress. Whatever Melissa had given him had kicked in, and he feels floaty and a little sick. Lydia is playing on her phone, still holding Isaac’s hand. When he squeezes it she squeezes back indulgently.

“You like him,” Allison says, kissing his temple.

“If I agree with you will you shut up about it?” he grumbles. Allison snickers, and he kisses her on the mouth,

“Yep.”

“Fine,” he says tiredly, half slurred, half floating on the pain and the medication, “I like him.”