#but seriously I never thought I’d get to 1000 haha

[rogerrrroger]

1000 followers!!! Thank you guys so much! It’s crazy where posting old men can get you

[karlajoyner]

Can you do a smut piece with Owen where he takes you to Hawaii and you guys meet up with the cast and everything, but then later that night he takes you back to the bedroom to show you some real fun. Ik you get this for a while, can’t wait for your other work love your writing style.

So Needy (Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys I hope you like this one! I'm sorry I haven't posted in over a week I had a lot of shit to do but I have a few imagines done and I'm working on the rest of my requests so I could hopefully open them up again soon. Also Alex and Reggie now have last names and I’m 1000% freaking the fuck out because it was the last thing I was expecting . I’m gonna go back eventually and put them in all my imagines. And yeah....totally didn’t make me go back and watch the show for the 12th time. It’s a problem....it’s fine. Anyways Enjoy! (Sorry for any typos I always fuck up but I’ll go back and fix them later)

Requested by: @jjbassett (Tumblr)

Warnings: Smut! (18+)

————

I walked into the airport tiredly. Thankful it was at least somewhat empty.

"Owen why'd you book our flights so damn early?" I asked my boyfriend who was walking to my left.

"I didn't book them. Charlie did" He stated my gaze moving to the boy on my right.

"I should have known. No one but a psychopath would book a flight at the ass crack of dawn" I spoke earning a laugh from both boys.

"To be fair I thought you were a morning person y/n/n"

"Oh I am. When it's 8:00 o'clock and past that. I do not enjoy having to wake up at 4:00 o'clock in the morning to get ready. I mean seriously Charles it's still fucking dark out" I pointed out.

"Oh man. Alright I'll take that into consideration"

"Be lucky you didn't have to deal with her when the first alarm rang" Owen said making me glare at him.

"I love you baby. You know that but you just get so grumpy" He spoke making me roll my eyes.

"Did you just compare me to one of the seven dwarves? Fine. Alright. I get a little grumpy. But that's only because I have to be the big spoon too"

"Oh my god man your the little spoon" Charlie laughed as we arrived to security.

"You swore you wouldn't tell anybody" Owen whisper shouted.

"Yeah well that's just me being grumpy. Sorry babe"

"No it's cool. It's cool. Just wait until tonight" He whispered the last part in my ear before letting me go ahead.

"Seriously Charlie a knife? You tried to bring a knife on a plane?!" I asked exasperatedly as we boarded the plane.

"I didn't know they wouldn't let me bring it"

"I think it's a given that they wouldn't let you bring it dude"

"Yeah yeah"

"Well paybacks a bitch huh Charlie?" I joked handing Owen my carry on so he could put it above our seats.

"Haha y/n. I'd like you to remember that your stuck on this flight with me for the next few hours so I'd be a little nicer"

"I just can't wait to tell Jer about this" I said taking my seat next to the window. Owen taking the one to my right.

"Owennn your girlfriends being mean" Charlie complained earning a laugh from the blonde.

"I'm sorry Charlie but I can't do anything. The more she's mean to you the less she's mean to me" Owen said making me giggle.

"He's not wrong" I grinned intertwining our fingers and placing a quick kiss to Owen's cheek.

"That's all I get" He questioned making me playfully roll my eyes before pulling him in for a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Better?" I asked pulling away.

"Much" He smiled widely.

"You guys better not do that the whole plane ride"

"We won't. Gotta save something for tonight man" Owen joked. My elbow instinctively shoving itself into his arm as Charlie began to laugh.

"Ouch"

"Funny how you think your getting some tonight" I muttered.

"Am I not?"

"We'll see" I responded putting in my AirPods as the two boys began to conversate.

"Do you see your bag?" I questioned my boyfriend. We'd been stuck at baggage claim for ages trying to find Owens green suitcase.

"Nope"

"Owen" I groaned.

"There! There it is!" He shouted excitedly.

"Oh yes!" Charlie cheered as the bag reached our area.

"Let's get out of here"

"And just like that I hate airports" I said as we walked past random strangers.

"Y/n!" I heard a familiar voice shout. My eyes quickly spotting the source.

"Tori!" I screamed letting go of my boyfriends hand and running towards the girl who had her arms wide open.

I giggled engulfing her into a tight hug before turning to the rest of the group behind her.

"Kenny!" Owen and Charlie greeted their director.

"It's good to see you guys too" Jeremy spoke up.

"Care!"

"Y/n I'm so glad your here"

"I'm glad to be here. It's always good to see you too Jer" I spoke hugging him after I hugged Carolynn.

"Finally someone who appreciates me" He said making me throw my head back in laughter.

"To the hotel!"

"So what took you guys so long?" Jeremy asked as the 7 of us lounged around the pool.

"Yeah we were at terminal like 40 minutes after your flight landed.

"It's a long story"

"Speaking of stories" I smirked looking at Charlie.

"Don't" He warned pointing a finger at me.

"I didn't say anything" I giggled, back stroking away from the group.

"So me and Care we're thinking of doing some shopping tomorrow you in?" Tori questioned swimming with me.

"One hundred percent" I said glancing at Owen who was laid back on one of the lounge chairs near the pools edge. He looked so good with his swim trunks and his damp hair.

"So then we decided we'd just save it for Saturday before Care left" Toris voice brought me back to reality.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked.

"Did you hear anything I said?"

"I did not" I muttered.

"And why is that?" She asked teasingly poking my side.

"Because my boyfriend is sitting a few feet away and he looks like that" I internally groaned.

"I say you go get him" She grinned at me.

"Not yet" I mischievously smiled swimming back towards the group.

"It's so cold" I stated getting out the pool and grabbing my beach towel. Wrapping it around me.

"Aww come here" Owen said opening his arms widely.

I simpered making my way over to him and laying down in his embrace.

His arms immediately wrapping themselves around my soaked body. His bare chest coming into contact with my partially covered one.

"You guys are too cute" Tori teased.

"Not cuter than us though right?" Carolynn joked hugging Tori.

"No. Never" She responded making us all laugh.

"I'd like to propose a toast" Kenny spoke holding up his drink.

"To friends"

"To family" Charlie followed.

"To love" Owen said making heart skip a beat as he lifted his drink in the air.

"Cheers" They spoke in unison lifting their drinks to their lips. Owens beautiful green eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you"

"I love you too Owen" I whispered placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Why don't we head back to the hotel for some real fun?" He suggested quietly making sure no one heard.

His hand running up and down my arm soothingly.

"Hmm is that your attempt to get me into bed?"

"Why? Is it working?" He asked making me smirk.

"So we're doing dinner tomorrow night right guys?" I asked sitting up straddling the boy beneath me. Rejoining the conversation our friends were having.

"Yeah. Kenny was telling us about this great place his friend recommended" Jeremy explained as I shifted a bit to get comfortable.

A pair of hands landing on hips.

"Oh really? Tell me more about his place Kenny" I said moving again hearing a small groan escape Owens lips as our thin clothed fronts rubbed against each others.

A wicked smirk forming on my face as we listened in on Kennys description of the place.

"It sounds fantastic. Doesn't it sound fantastic Owen?" I questioned my boyfriend shuffling again.

"Yeah. Yup sounds great. Listen it getting late guys. I think we're gonna head back to the hotel" He voiced sitting up as well.

"It's only 6:30 dude"

"Yeah but we just wanna have time to shower and get dinner. You know together. As a couple"

"Right.....well have fun you two" Kenny said awkwardly as I stood up along with Owen.

"Oh I'm pretty sure they will" Charlie joked causing me to snicker at the boy.

I quickly collected the remaining of my pool things saying my fair well goodbyes to our friends. Or tried.

Owen was clearly in a rush to get to the hotel.

"Don't leave me" Tori said hugging me one more time before we left.

"Sorry to break it to you but she's gotta go" Owen said removing the girls arms from my body and pulling me away.

"Bye!!" I waved to the group who were all cackling at Owens behavior.

"You didn't have to be so pushy" I muttered as we walked into the hotel lobby.

"Pushy? Please you knew what you were doing" He whisper yelled dragging me along the hallways towards the elevator.

"And what was I doing?" I asked stepping in immediately feeling my back pressed against the cold wall.

"You tell me" He whispered inching his face towards mine. I watched as he pushed the button to our floor before looking back at me.

I took initiative crashing our lips together. Feeling his hand land firmly on my waist as the elevator came to a halt signifying we were on our floor.

"Come on" I spoke rather harshly dragging him towards our room.

"Who's being pushy now?"

"Owen I swear to god if you say another word I will lock you outside and make myself cum got it?"

"Yes mam" He said taking my bag while I unlocked the door with my key card.

Immediately upon opening the door I felt the back of my bikini come undone the top falling to the ground.

Turning around I saw the childlike smirk on my boyfriends face as he shut the door behind us. Making sure to lock it.

I smirked back with the same look on my face. Biting my lip in anticipation as Owen moved forward wrapping his arms around my body.

"Your so-" I didn't let him finish as I crashed my lips onto his wanting to feel him closer.

He was quick to respond deepening the kiss as he back me up onto the queen sized bed in the middle of the suite.

"I can't even get a word out geez" He joked pulling away.

"I'm sorry baby what were you gonna say?" I teased as his body hovered over mine. My body prepped up on my elbows to get a better view of his face.

"I was gonna say your so needy"

"I'm the needy one? Really?"

"Well it's obviously not me"

"Care to test that theory?" I suggested watching his face scrunch up in confusion.

I pecked his lips one more time before using all my strength to flip us over so he was on his back. I moved my body over his so I was straddling him now. A grin appearing on my face.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good right now. I just need you to do what I say. Got it?" I whispered watching him nod his head rapidly, clearly intrigued at my proposal.

I leaned down kissing him passionately his hands finding my waist with ease. Slowly grinding down onto him earning a moan from the blonde. I bit his lip as we roughly fought for dominance.

Owen letting me win as soon as I began to palm him through his swim trunks.  I pulled away moving down slowly until I was in front of him on my knees.

"Oh fuck baby. You look so fucking beautiful" He bit his lip taking a hold of my hair.

"No. You can't touch me. That's the only rule" I stated pushing his hand away.

"I can't? Why not?"

"Because I said so. Now are you gonna let me handle your little problem here or not?" I teased him, rubbing my hand against the fabric of his shorts.

"Fuck okay baby. Just- just do something" He pleaded. I smirked knowing I had it in the bag now.

"Take them off" I demanded. Sitting back as he removed his shorts along with his boxers letting his dick spring free.

I took the shaft pumping it a few times. Teasing the tip, even swirling my tongue around it earning a loud groan from Owen himself.

I slowly started pumping his length before placing my mouth on it. Beginning to bob my head up and down, feeling Owen thrust his body upward in attempt to get more of himself inside my mouth. His fist balling up and clenching the bedsheets tightly.

I hummed in response as moans escaped the boys mouth while I sucked him off. Eyeing him closely through my eyelashes seeing his head tilted back and his eyes were screwed shut made me even more excited for what was coming.

"I'm so close y/n" As soon as he said that I pulled away from him with a pop watching as his eyes shot open.

"W-what the hell?" He asked clearly confused.

"I'm just tired. Think it's time for bed no?" I questioned going to pick up my bikini top.

"No- No what the fuck babe" He spoke from behind me.

"Well I just th-" My words were cut off by a yelp as I was tossed back onto the bed.

"We're not done here" He spoke lunging on top of me quickly pressing his lips onto mine.

I sighed contently wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer as we made out.

"Who's the needy one now?" I whispered pulling away earning a scowl from him as he undid the strings of my bikini bottoms.

I shivered as I felt his tip align itself at my entrance. He didn't hesitate to push himself into me immediately filling me up. Something he'd never failed to do before.

I moaned as he began to move at a rather hasty pace. Not that I was complaining.

I pulled him back down making our lips meet once more while the noise of our bodies colliding echoed through the room.

"Faster" I mumbled into his mouth.

A familiar feeling pulling at the pit of my stomach. My orgasm becoming very close as Owen picked up speed. My legs wrapped around him as we struggled to stay in place.

"Owen" I moaned out as I came all over him. His orgasm hitting seconds later.

"Shit" He panted as he pulled out of me. Our liquids spilling out onto the comforter.

"Your calling for new sheets" I stated trying to regain my breath.

"That was so worth it baby" He spoke pecking my lips before getting off of me to go to the bathroom.

I smiled as he walked out with a towel, coming over to clean me up.

"I love Hawaii" He said making me giggle.

"Do you now? I wonder why?" I joked sitting up. Coming face to face with my boyfriend.

"But I love you more"

"Say more things like that and we'll be in bed the whole week" I spoke wrapping my arms around his neck. Giggling as he pushed me back onto the bed once more.

————

Up Next: Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex Mercer x Male Reader

Luke Patterson x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Jeremy Shada x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Reggie Peters x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Carrie Wilson x Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg @jammi13 @theravenclawlife

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

The Talk™️

lololol just kidding sorry Laura I love you here’s the real thing just in time 😘😘

We start with Ellie being veeeeery sus 👀 checking out Eastern Europe and the various countries, I mean yes there are plenty of nice, beautiful places there but this is a procedural aka obviously that area can only be shady. I also love that Nick came up silently and waited, watched what she was doing very intently, before announcing his presence. Almost like he’s been suspecting something is up with her for a little while now and seized on this perfect opportunity to do a little digging. But at the same time he doesn’t let it go on too long, and he almost gives her an out- he doesn’t accuse her of being shady AF, instead he’s like oh clearly she’s planning a trip because she’s always talked about loving Eastern Europe not the Bahamas like we’d just gotten jealous over a year ago…right, Ellie? A trip? And then her response ooo girl. She starts to get uber defensive and then realizes that oh wait, he handed me an out on a silver platter so yeah let me take it real quick. AND HE DOESN’T CALL HER ON IT. That’s the real good stuff in this scene- he’s a trained federal agent with years of undercover work, he can tell when someone is outright lying *especially* when that someone is Ellie. So he takes her defensive hesitation and than blatant lie and rolls with it. Beeeecause he trusts her. He trusts her to tell him when she’s ready. He saw how hurt she got when he kept bothering her after the kidnapping, and also saw her tell him once she was ready to. So yeah, he gets it now. He may be seriously concerned for her underneath that joking exterior, but he trusts her to tell him when the time is right, and also likely feels she wouldn’t keep anything huge huge from him. *cue getting ready for heartbreak in the finale it’s fine everything is fine*

Of course we move on to the flirty stuff because we avoid serious talk here 🙄 Ellie still sus though don’t get it wrong, shutting that laptop real quick when he rounds the corner taking no further chances. And her crossing her arms while he offends her choice of “vacation” hahaha she’s so obvious, honey you got the hots for him it’s ok. Little middle school flirting like oh yeah you can do better? Prove it jerk. And Niiiiiick 🥵 I wish you could see the screenshot I’m paused on right now after he says it depends on who he’s going with before he asks her who she’s going with because DAMN that look. He can think of one (1) person and one person only who he’d go on a trip with. Her little smirk back before she decides to throw all pretense to the wayside and says fuck it I don’t care that we’re in the bullpen out in the open lemme flirt with you ~*Agent Torres*~ AND HE’S LIKE TWO CAN PLAY AGENT BISHOP PLEASE INVITE ME ON YOUR TRIP THAT I KNOW DOESN’T EXIST BUT I’D LIKE TO KNOW I’D BE INVITED IF IT DID. And please her giddy smile afterwards and then she goes from leaning back in her chair to leaning forward towards him because these two are absolutely drawn to each other bitches and I can’t get enough of them and their little playful smiles and body language. AND NEITHER CAN JIMMY. 

Jimmy is the ellick fandom. Because yes, keep going this is ✨just delightful✨ and I never want it to stop unless you’re kissing. Thank you. And pleeeeease them stumbling over their words when they realized they’ve been caught I CANT. They both look *so* uncomfortable and it’s hilarious, and then Ellie can’t help but laugh at Nick’s dumb joke making fun of Jimmy because it’s her man and he’s so *funny*. 

Bring us to Jimmy redeeming himself. But also yes this just confirms to me that he told Nick what he needed to hear back when he said zero chemistry. And now Jimmy’s observed silently, see where Nick has come in the last year and everything the two have been through and knows he ready to hear it for real. Well Jimmy was ready a while ago for them to move it along so yeah he’s like where’s my spoon I’m gonna STIR THIS POT. And then it is born, the slogan of the episode, the point of the WWR (please don’t have PTSD Laura), The Talk™️. Nick’s face oooo man, he initially tries to deflect like no we aren’t talking about that cozy scene nuh uh and then it turns into his worst nightmare- being called out by James Palmer of all people with Ellie literally five feet away. (ALSO MCGEE IS LITERALLY A FOOT BEHIND THEM. He 1000% heard this entire conversation if Ellie heard it. Bro better not try to deny a single thing later I’m watching you sir 👀) Nick’s expression is screaming what the fuck shut UP Jimmy this can’t possibly be happening so let me try to joke and deflect again (small smile because it was still a little funny) and then back to what the fuck he’s undeterred shit shit shit oh thank god McGee has started talking yes we have a goddamn huge problem autopsy gremlin won’t take the damn hint. 

And woooooow the first time I’ve seen Nick at his desk in a while 👀👀 he said shit people are on to me let me put ✨space✨ in between us for like five seconds while we still shoot each other cute smiles. 

Oooooooh now we here for the evisceration. The Here Lies James Palmer moment of the episode. Catch me dYING in the club, not crying. Because holy shit Ellie this was not only brutal and Brian absolutely killed it during this scene with his reactions to Ellie ripping him apart. His “oh…Oh…oooh.” Had me cackling. And Ellie you are the poster child of defensive, pulling out all the stops. Let me deny everything, let me then be a slight hypocrite because people shouldn’t be talking about me (because I’m terrified about considering broaching that topic too) but I can talk about Gibbs and Sloane previously, and then also like sort of admitting to it by asking Jimmy what people think is going on because that’s the question she would *love* to know the answer to but hasn’t gotten yet. All the while cue me laughing hysterically at jimmy, top tier scene right here lets be honest. Because then Kasie comes in and it’s just perfect 🤣🤣🤣 this was his sister, Painful. Couldn’t have said it better myself Kasie 😭💀

Lol at McGee telling Ellie not to tell Nick he was right about it being a coincidence 😂

HOW CLOSE DO WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER Y’ALL. HOW CLOSE. THERE’S A WHOLE GODDAMN BULLPEN. Remember when I said Nick wanted space for 5 whole seconds, yeah this is why. They’re straight magnets - drawn together indubitably 👀

Quick detour for the continued storyline of sus!Ellie and it makes me even more and more excited for the finaleeeeee. Because honey why do you know it takes 10 pounds of pressure to rip a trachea out and yes we all know it’s Odette and I can’t wait for the aaaaaangst. Also Kasie always coming in clutch with the humor, I live for it. “No you right I got nothing” 🤣🤣

Once again, Nick forgot about his desk, it was short-lived wasn’t it? 😅 

Now to another fun scene, and I feel like there’s a little double meaning to when Nick talks to Ellie about Phineas going through a lot this year, “more than most of us, which is saying a lot this year” - obviously covid but also maybe a callback to the kidnapping/jail cell stuff they dealt with?? Maybe?? Anyways, them being so awkward cute together because there’s a slight lull in the case so they revert back to their middle school selves, “so” “so…” I can’t with them omg. And then, and THEN of the two to bring it up, it’s Nick!!!! Yes!!! The GROWTH. This man used to be so emotionally closed off and now he, HE is bringing up The Talk™️ and he almost chickens out, he almost says haha you’re right we don’t have to have The Talk™️ after Ellie has a minor freakout because good god this girl is on *edge*. Her mind has probably been going a mile a minute the second she heard Jimmy call them out at the crime scene because she’s been living in blissful ignorance the past months/year whatever and now everything is smacking her in the face. But Nick, ugh I love the growth. He brushes it off and then has a moment where his face is like, no, no I’m not a wuss and he admits that yes he’s thought about it (the way he pauses when he says “not that it hasn’t been on my mind…us…” and I’m like yeah you two as a couple has been on your mind hasn’t it Nick 👀) and yes I want to have The Talk™️ with you Ellie Bishop. And not only does he admit this he’s also the one that’s like ok yeah cool BUT WHEN. Let’s nail this down please, I need it in my planner asap. And then she gets all giggly again “I don’t know when do *you* think?” Like omg I’m literally in middle school again. They’re so fucking cute and awkward it’s precious. Especially when they have to end their conversation and suddenly act normal when talking to McGee 😅😍 then they go separate ways and the look Ellie shoots Nick ahhhhhhh it’s almost like a let’s table this but also shit we really did half open that can of worms in the middle of a work day. Nick sighs and looks briefly to the sky like shit what did I do in a good way and bad way haha. 

Back to Kasie with the ✨iconic✨ lines I love herrrr. Ellie being sus again with being resistant to change. I can’t decide if she’s not only talking about the possibility of dating Nick (once again defensive because Kasie about came for her throat hahahah) but also maybe about whatever is going to go down with Odette 👀👀

HERE WE ARE. THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Back to being cute little awkward idiots in love that need to have The Talk™️. I mean come on they’re trying so hard to avoid the actual talk and just dancing around it “so” “so” “talk a roo” “talk a reeno” excuse me what the fuck are you saying just SAY IT. And Nick is still ready and rearing to go but also wants to respect Ellie and give her space if needed so he offers to just agree The Talk™️ needs to be had. And of course she counters with “need is a strong word” because damn this girl is spiraling. She’s so terrified of the outcome of this talk she wants to deny it needs to exist but still she can’t help it at the end of the day. And Nick is still like ok BUT WHEN. I WANT TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AFTER YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. SO LIKE WHEN ELLIE WHEN. And he once again plays off her deflection (a theme of this episode) with yeah yeah they’re super tired not at all wired just thinking about this talk that is at the tip of his tongue. At least Ellie is finally seeing the light and realizes that they should promise to have The Talk™️ but as she sits there staring at the elevator in front of her she’s like oh fuck, it can’t be soon can it. Fuck fuck fuck I can’t hold this in longer, we can’t keep dancing around it. fuck. So when Nick once again tries to press her to nail down a time she’s like well fuck it let’s do this shit now. Then she can’t realized that shit I actually said it, I actually said that. I said we should have The Talk™️ now. And Nick’s genuine surprise mirrors hers because she’s been the one half-denying The Talk™️ all day and now she wants to do this right here right now??? But at the same time he’s got a little smile to his face because he loves the idea of her being on board and finally getting this done. Finally getting to hear how she feels. 

So they walk into the elevator with a MUCH better vibe than the last time they walked in all serious at night (looking at you dumb Nick with Elena) but I guess the Elena Elevator Talk walked so the Ellie Elevator Talk could run 👀

And Nick while yes he’s ready for this shit to finally happen he’s still vulnerable, still terrified of opening himself up because he’s seen his dad (recently) and how commitment and relationships run in the family 🙄 plus this is all very new to him outside of Sofia and this is definitely not new to Ellie (Jake, qasim). He needs to hear she’s all-in too, needs to know he hasn’t built something up in his head for something serious when she views it as just a flirtation between friends. So he nervously says ladies first and while Ellie gives him a look of protest and wtf man, I think deep down she knows this is all so difficult for him despite how much he’s pushed it over the course of the day plus SHE is ready to get this out in the open. The moment she decided to stop denying and spiraling she went full force head on let’s talk about us. She hedges for a second and Nick continues to be nervous as she’s clearly building up her own nerve. Then she says probably the exact same moment he’s thinking of- or at least one of them- the jail cell. The defining, triggering moment that set this thing at full speed. He can’t believe she’s really saying the words, about to hear what he hopes is his feeling of that jail cell reciprocated in her words and his head turns quickly to look at her, unable to believe his ears that what he’s been dying for all along is going to happen. The Talk™️ is happening and damn it seems like it’s happening in the right direction. 

Of course we have no damn clue what was said and I’m jaded and don’t think they’ll ever tell us- RIP the note. BUT I’m so glad it actually happened (and the cinematographic parallels of course), a STEP towards canon!Ellick I’m fine. 

Now to see where they take this from here in the last two episodes and I can only hope an angst filled canon!Ellick because duh. 

[stray-tori]

Making peace with TPN S02E04 (anime-only)

Post summary: my problems with the episode, possible explanations for why and how to minimize the problems. also some speculation.

The thoughts are mostly based on the anime in a bubble, aside from the segments where I mention otherwise.

.

#0 - My mixed feelings about staying anime-only

This is strange, because... I’m not really hype for next week? I want more, but not in the same excited way I did before. Because I simply don’t know what to expect anymore.

I want to stick as an anime-only so I can deliver stand-alone thoughts as this... clunky and stumbling adaptation makes its way towards the finish line (obviously it won’t be done this season but, yeah ---- i mean, hopefully not, who knows what they’ll do at this point).

But another part of me is just... more excited to read the manga to see what it is like and what the differences are, after the anime is done (which was always my plan, but I was never really actively excited about it pff-). And I feel like your anime approach has failed when I’m moreso looking forward to reading the source material eventually. I do hope that with ep5 they’ll get back on track and this feeling will fade. That they have a meaningful plan and reason for why ep4 felt so messy and disjointed - a reason why it had to go this way, because I feel like they just wanted them out of the bunker, but this is not the way imo (more on that in the next segment)

.

#1 - Leaving the bunker - mix of feeling “rushed” and “waste of time”

I feel like where the anime is going, they kind of wrote themselves into a corner in Episode 4. The story setup was leading them to this place (i.e. the bunker), but they obviously didn’t want them to stay there long.

What is the problem? / The way it was setup, we got about an episode of them being there (too few to have emotional attachment to the place) and then being chased out when things went well. In a way it is both too soon, but since nothing really worth the ~1 episode “fluff” happened there in the end, it feels pointless or as if we just wasted time, just for them to leave in the end.

Imo, the bunker is needed for two things, 1) being the first goal for them to go to, so the story isn’t aimless right away and 2) info dumps. Most of the children’s content can be repurposed during their forest time or doesn’t seem relevant right now.

For the record, I personally think that they got found out makes sense in-universe,

WM said he was found out, it’s not unlikely the farm knows that bunkers exist and might even have a vague idea of where they are

that there are multiple could be assumed by the army guy saying, “That’s how shelters usually are” -- If the world has been like this for 1000 years, what other purpose than human survival in a demon would could shelter even have? 

I don’t think the pursuers communicated it back (got lucky, Ray) because if they did, they wouldn’t show up a whole month later.

they could have just observed them, they’ve been on the surface quite a bit.

(though I also agree it should be confirmed how the farm found out)

I’m just questioning the impact it had on me as a viewer (which is little) - the world is rigged against them, they can’t catch a break in a system this powerful chasing them and I think part of the confusion and “wait we’re back at square 1??” (literally) is intentional, to evoke the feeling of something being lost. If possible, I would keep the spirit of this idea (see “it’s a trap” in the next segment)

.

So what can we do to fix it?

Skipping the bunker / I don’t think we can remove the bunker outright. I suppose they could have had them just go straight for the new location by having the last keyword be another puzzle instead of the phone recording giving it away directly. But that might have too few things happening. That way they also would have gotten more time on their own to be wandering OR Mujika and Sonju might have been with them longer (which would honestly make sense from a meta point, too. I feel like they were a little short-lived.)

Less time in the bunker / if it feels pointless anyway, get it over with quickly

More time in the bunker / stay longer and have them do something else. Maybe they prepped to already go back to GF, time has passed and then they get raided. Problem: why did it take the farm force so long?

To be honest, I’m not sure that would have been much better so I’m personally more inclined to fix it with a very tightly connected problem, which will be the next segment:

.

#3 - the HELP wall scare was pointless

What’s the problem? / the scare was used in between two segments of “the happy life in the bunker”(TM). The segments are the exact same feeling to me personally, just fluff. The scare changed NOTHING. Nothing that was revealed justifies it existing.

Pre wall scare: WM is an ally, the bunker is for escapees

Post wall scare: WM is an ally, he got discovered, the bunker is for escapees, there were escapees there before (?)

The wall doesn’t even have anything to do with WM. And we didn’t get enough details on the HELP wall, even on its own. Was the book and the “HELP”s from the same person? Why were they going crazy there? What did their siblings die from? It can’t be food, so it must have happened outside. Where they picked up by the Task Force(TM)?

The “don’t give up” is nice, but our crew didn’t need that pep talk I think - i guess with Minerva gone, they lost a hope for allies, but at the same time he gave them coordinates where to get support. If they didn’t get that and now were on their own, I’d get the whole uplifting book more, personally. I guess the tragedy here is that WM is dead? Maybe I’m not emphasizing with the characters enough on this.

. So what can we do to fix it?

Give more details to the wall / i.e. answering the questions posed above. Maybe show more of the diary. Maybe two were left and one killed themselves (they scribbled HELPs and were crazier) and left the other alone, and they decided they’re leaving for the human world. It doesn’t change that the scare doesn’t mean much, but it would at least be a little more personal.

Change the wall / remove the helps, leave the names and the counting. It would be a tragic reveal (instead of a over-dramatic scare) to see that people had died (around) here, making them scared for their own lives (I guess that’s kind of implied to be happening but since it doesn’t linger, I didn’t really notice.)

It’s a trap/they definitely know of the bunker / it’s not “help” but “run” which was a warning someone put there because they figured out the farms knew of the bunker (or they got attacked and one couldn’t leave). It being a trap would make sense because even as it’s now, I’m just assuming they vaguely know of the bunkers’ existence anyway. Then it wouldn’t be “yay bunker life! - scare - yay bunker life! - BOOM” but instead “yay bunker life! - it’s a trap... what do we do?” - you can still have the info dumps & the phone call and then they either realize it’s a trap and just leave (removing the problem of the....... interesting raid scenes), and BOOM (haha) you’re where the anime is now, since the troup got nom’ed anyway and aren’t a threat anymore. The mission would still fail since they’re gone, so Isabella’s plot is in tact too. I think this would also partly solve the bunker problem, because now something actually changed about the setup we know. It’s NOT the safe bunker anymore. It changes a lot about the world too - the farm knows of them so how much more of the WM support net is affected? It makes you think more about the larger scale implications (and ligns up nicely with the “I was discovered” talk from James, therefore making the wall shown at the same time relevant), + the bunker has another reason to be there, to reveal that. Personally, it would change our perception and understanding of the situation, which imo would make up for the lacking investment in the bunker itself. It would also prompt them to leave faster (likely), thus eliminating the “we spent so much time here for nothing” thing. If you really want to you can even have them stay anyway, since it’s the only thing they have and they opt to just leave on the first sign of someone actually being on their back. This requires a better night watch than Don though :D

.

#4 - The little things

Missed drama - the episode was pretty casual about a lot of things; testing potentially dangerous food (fair because it was a nice segment), their new home being gone (fair because no attachment) and them seeing humans being eaten right in front of them (WHY WASN’T THIS MILKED). It makes it all seem like it’s not a big deal - which I guess in a survival story, it kind of isn’t. But I still feel like there wasn’t really any impactful moment this episode it just kinda went “brrr” and now we’re back to episode 1.

for real, please milk the wild demon eating people / he just kinda goes "nom" and the children are there and run. It feels like the anime itself barely takes it seriously - it's the first time (I think), they see a human get eaten by a demon and I feel like that could have used like a close up shot, and some more disgusted reactions by the children. I get that it's a world where that just happens but I feel like the anime just didn't take or see the change to do something more personal with it. I like it as an element at its core because it makes sense; they shot around, attracting the demon and I also like the irony of being saved by a wild creature. Even if that now chases you.

incompetent soldiers - why do they have guns? they can’t HARM / KILL the quality food, so WHY GUNS? -- People with guns are usually incompetent in anything because they just can’t hit anything, but that at least makes sense here. Still, what was the plan? Sheer intimidation? They’re the farms’ force right? Why don’t they know how to deal with wild demons? Possible answer: to prevent humans with guns knowing how to eliminate their higher ups :D doesn’t change that it makes them look stupid. Bro really got defeated by getting a cup thrown in his face. To be fair this specific one didn’t seem to be the brightest bulb, why the “huh?” when he found Don??? Is this relevant I’M SO CONFUSED.

where’s the character moments? - when they got to the bunker, everyone else kind of got the focus, and the main cast just didn't have any of those character moments anymore that made the previous episodes, especially episode 2, so touching and emotional for me. Don't get me wrong, I love the kind of fluff content with the children a lot but I kind of missed some.... it feels like it's more event driven (#BOOM) than character driven now, and idk how to really attach to that? Especially since with ep4 we didn't even really learn anything new (aside from a name and that he was indeed good and is now dead I guess).

.

#5 - Why?

Warning: this goes a bit into comparisons (nothing concrete though), and I obviously don’t know more than I picked up from fandom reactions.

My guess is that

“So... I cannot at this point say that we are going to animate the entire story to the very end. We are not at a point where we can say that. Sorry. (Laughs)”

from the MAL interview might be a factor. It seems they wanted to tell their own spin regardless (which I personally respect) but maybe they thought that unless they had a two-cour, it would be hard to keep up the investment the first season set up with what was originally in the manga (I had heard that it would be a weird pacing to do 11 episodes and maybe they wanted to make sure viewer engagement was high).

> “We know that there are viewers who, after they watch the anime, want to continue on and read the manga, and there are viewers who have read the manga first and are now watching the anime.”

(I’m not sure if “after the anime” means after a season or after the the whole adaptation)

Their goal is definitely an “unique” experience. And they seem to at least be aware that some people watch the anime first, so it has to make sense in a bubble.

I can’t say if I would have preferred a slower start into whatever the manga has that caps off at 11 episodes (idk how much rewarding stuff could have fit in there), since they probably fear of not being able to do a complete adaptation too. And I feel like as I’m getting it, they are trying to quickly reintroduce what people cared about in s1 --- in Isabella’s case, maybe a bit too early. there was barely any time to really miss her imo.

But I’m also not sure if whatever they’re aiming for will be rewarding. I hope so, because I don’t want their efforts to go to waste. And I don’t want to come to dislike it.

I can admit faults, ep4 is definitely a lowpoint even without knowing the alternatives. Just that for me, it is annoying little things and not the shocking deviations from the manga.

.

#6 - Hope

I have hope though because Isabella’s stuff was good, and now that they’re over the no-return divergence point, they might be able to... (meta spoiler) not repurpose manga scenes without any buildup (is what I’m getting) anymore :”D, because they really only set themselves up for disappointed with that. It might seem like a homage but it’s moreso out of place, the people who read it aren’t happy because you didn’t earn it (and of course they’ll compare) and the anime suffers from it because it can create unnecessary confusion forced in just to make a reference.

Ironically I think they’re too stuck in the manga too and could have benefited from a blind perspective.

I don’t really mind anything overall I think (world is against them, that’s fair, being out on the run again is fine, the demon “rescue” is fine), the execution / some details of episode 4 were just... strange. idk where they are going with it and maybe that really was the best way to transition but until I know where it goes, I can’t really judge that. Highly doubt it though.

I really hope they completely just do their own things now with some base elements from the manga.

.

A lot of what I talked about in this post ended up making me appreciate the crumbs of intention. The realization that previous escapees didn’t make it (not all of them, anyway) and WM being dead, and then having that uplifting message. The message of “you don’t get to rest, you’re on your own again”. The irony of the wild demon being their (temporary) rescue. The past escapees.

Ironically, I wanted to dunk on the anime but really, all I feel is more content now. Would I have preferred some fixes? Yes, but I see some semblance of meaning in it even with the errors.

Thanks for reading this goddamn essay.

[aurorawest]

Hi! I’d love for a directors commentary on the real Asgardians of the galaxy, any section you choose, it’s my favourite story! Also I was wondering if you could do a commentary on chapter 7 of you come to me wild and wired please? Thank you!

Of course, thank you for asking! I’m so glad you like The Real Asgardians! 😄 I went with this section from chapter 25. Loki, Thor, and Mira have stopped on the Market Planet (aka Promachos), a place entirely of my own invention. Promachos is a planet that’s one giant, sprawling market. The section that the three of them visit looks very much like a souk in my head—I was definitely imagining the Arab Souk in Jerusalem as I was writing it. But you know, think the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, that sort of thing. Old, ancient feeling, labyrinthine covered market where it feels like you can get everything that’s ever existed.

In this conversation, Loki and Thor are having a nice conversation that turns sour, as they so often do.

“You know,” Thor said, the heavy-handed nonchalance in his voice sending up red flags, “that’s something New Asgard doesn’t have.”

“Children?” Loki said, playing dumb and immediately regretting it. 

Not really a reference, but this line has always reminded me of the exchange in Jurassic Park between Grant and Satler: “What are those?” “Small versions of adults, honey.”

Thanos hadn’t discriminated. He’d slaughtered Asgard’s children as easily as he had the adults. 

Womp womp. Seriously though, one of my favorite things to write with Loki is how he absolutely careens from one emotional end of the spectrum to the other. He makes this joke and he immediately jumps to the worst possible interpretation of it.

At least they’d managed to evacuate most of them, though Loki would never forgive himself for allowing a single Asgardian to die that day.

I recently had to put an exact number to how many children survived The Statesman. At this point I definitely was like, ‘eh, no idea!’

“No,” Thor said. “A school.”

“Mm.” Loki was getting increasingly worried that Mira was going to turn around and ask for the necklace. “What do they do, make repairs in the fishing nets because their fingers are smaller?”

This is one of my favorite jokes, actually. Loki is such an ass. There’s so much contempt packed into this sentence.

But more beyond that, his disdain for New Asgard is really important to his arc. We really see him lash out about it in this scene.

Thor glared at him. “No. They go to school. There just isn’t one in New Asgard.”

It couldn’t be overstated how uninterested Loki was in the education policies of New Asgard. Yes, his people lived there, but he had no personal stake or interest in the place. “Where do they go, then?”

Incidentally, I chose this scene because it seems kind of like a throwaway scene, like it’s more to express Loki’s distaste for New Asgard. And it is that...but it’s also got payoff down the line.

Uncertainty flickered over Thor’s face. “They go…I…er. I’m not exactly sure.” Loki didn’t push this issue. It was easy to imagine what had happened, anyway. The children would have been running wild in the months after the Snap. Brunnhilde, ruling New Asgard in all but name, would have gone to Thor, drunk, useless, drowning in depression and grief, and said something needed to be done, and he was the king, so what should they do? And Thor most likely would have slurred at her to figure it out. [...]

“I think they go to school in Tønsberg somewhere,” Thor finally said.

Thor kills me here. He’s pushing down every single bit of his regret and guilt. And Loki doesn’t get it at all. All he can do is snipe at Thor for screwing this up, for not taking charge, for not being the king that Loki thinks he should be. I’m actually enormously proud of “I think they go to school in Tønsberg somewhere,” because it says nothing...and also everything. Or at least, I hope it does.

Arching an eyebrow again, Loki said, “Oh. I see. So you’re raising humans.”

Loki gets none of this. All he can see is how much he doesn’t want to live on Earth, how much he doesn’t like New Asgard. He can’t fathom why the Asgardians would want to be there. It never occurs to him to stop and think about the fact that the Asgardians have been part of this community for six years. That they aren’t totally isolated from Norway or Earth. In Loki’s mind, New Asgard is like...kind of temporary? He can’t accept that it might be permanent.

“No,” Thor said, making a face as though this was the most stupid thing he’d heard in his whole life. “We’re not raising humans, I mean—not that I have a problem with humans, I love humans—”

Sometimes a little too much...but not in a creepy way, in a respectful way...

“As you’ve demonstrated,” Loki muttered, rolling his eyes. Not that he should talk.

Loki is consciously thinking of alt!Strange here, but of course...gosh he spent nine months living at the Sanctum and maybe he got close to one of its occupants...

“The point is,” Thor said, dropping all pretense of subtlety, “you’ve got some experience with it, and you should come back and—”

Thor takes a massive risk here and straight up asks Loki to come back to New Asgard. Not only that, but he’s asking Loki to come back to New Asgard and...open a school? This is the sort of thing that should thrill Loki. Thor is asking him to stick around! Thor is telling Loki that he wants him in New Asgard. And Loki...

Loki’s glare was poisonous enough that Thor took a step back. “No,” he hissed. “I will not.”

Loki doesn’t take kindly to it. Instead of seeing this moment for what it is, which is Thor reaching out to him, all Loki can see is this like, blaring red warning that he’s going to end up as something he Doesn’t Want To Be. And he doesn’t even really know what it is, right? He just hates what New Asgard symbolizes. He hates that he initiated Ragnarok, which necessitated New Asgard’s existence. He hates that New Asgard is so small, because of his own inability to protect his people from Thanos. He hates what Thor became in New Asgard. It’s really not even about New Asgard, it’s all of this other stuff.

Aaaaand chapter 7 of You Come to Me Wild and Wired!

So this was written for a @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt a couple weeks ago. The prompt was ‘broken windows.’ Their prompts are very very open ended, so I generally check them first thing on Friday morning and then let the day’s prompt rattle around in my brain until an idea occurs to me. With this one, I thought I could do something with the Oculus at the Sanctum being broken. I had also, a couple days before writing this, I had seen a reference to some sort of prompt for another ship about Stephen being angry, and I thought, you know what? It’s fun to write Stephen being angry. I should try that sometime! Broken Oculus means attack on the Sanctum, and I thought, what if Loki gets hurt in the course of that?

And to think, Loki was beginning to wonder if Strange ever got angry.

The idea of these fics is for them to be I think between 100-1000 words. This one was 1360, I believe, when I finished it? So I had to trim it down quite a bit (I eventually got it under 1100 but not quite down to 1000). The ‘And’ at the beginning of this sentence would have been an easy one to cut, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just loved it too much.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” 

I love writing sweary Stephen. I love it so much.

Strange’s hands shake as he pulls Loki’s torn sweater from the wound. One of the wounds. The sweater is ruined. Shame. Loki’s always liked it. Even without the damage, the blood stains will never come out.

I also love writing Loki being more concerned with his wardrobe than his own physical wellbeing.

Loki feels woozy. Strange’s question strikes him as funny. “I was thinking I wouldn’t get hurt.”

This is clearly not the answer Strange is looking for.

Loki finds that funny, too. “I’ll tell you what I wasn’t thinking—I wasn’t thinking I’d ruin my favorite sweater. Do you see this color? Really brings out my eyes, don’t you think?”

See when you’re bleeding out, you can say things like this.

Strange’s jaw clenches. His eyebrows draw together and his eyes narrow. He picks up a bottle and doesn’t bother blotting whatever’s inside onto a cloth—he just sloshes it over the gash on Loki’s stomach.

When Loki yelps, Strange says, “Oh, shut up. That’s not going to kill you. Which is more than I can say for the horde of demons you faced—on your own.”

Gritting his teeth against the sting of alcohol, Loki says, “Yes, but they didn’t kill me.” The wooziness is probably due to blood loss. His sweater isn’t just stained—it’s soaked with crimson. That’s all his blood. The demons’ blood was black.

I’m not actually a big fan of hurt/comfort when Loki is the one who’s hurt. When I’m going to hurt Loki—and I do—I prefer to do it with psychological and emotional torment. Physical pain? Honestly, it’s not that fun for me to write. Here’s the thing with Loki: he doesn’t care. Physical pain doesn’t frighten or even really bother him. He’s completely blasé about it. And in order for it to be dangerous to him, it has to be so bad that he’s passed out. Where’s the fun in a passed out Loki?

In general, I far prefer to put Loki in the comfort role, because it seems like it’s such an unnatural fit for him, and that’s way more fun to write about. I like to make my characters uncomfortable, haha. The two people that Loki is closest to in my verse, Thor and Stephen, are also really not the kind of people that want to show physical weakness. And Loki isn’t nurturing (well, he can be, but it’s buried deep down inside him), so like, it’s way more fun to have Thor be hurt and have Loki needing to feed him or whatever.

And I’m straying from this fic but this is the director’s cut, haha.

Strange doesn’t respond. At all. His hands can barely hold the—what is that? Oh, a bandage. He’s trying to bandage the wound, but he drops it because of his hands’ violent tremor.

Stephen’s hands shake more when he’s emotional.

“You need to go to the hospital,” Strange says as he picks up the alcohol again. He sounds like he might kill Loki himself.

“I’d rather not.”

At these words, which Loki delivers in a perfectly affable tone, 

This line just makes me laugh. Something about the word ‘affable.’ Loki’s so cheerful about his impending death.

Strange drops the bottle. It spills all over their shoes; splashes their pants. Loki’s legs sting as the alcohol soaks through his pants, so he knows he has open wounds there, too.

Trying to show, not tell.

Strange swears, a long string of profanity that penetrates Loki’s fog. He’s never heard Strange talk like this.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Odinson? Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Strange rakes a hand through his hair. Blood, Loki’s blood, smears his forehead. “You’re bleeding out. You’re gonna fucking die and you can’t swallow your goddamn motherfucking pride to let someone who can hold a fucking needle and thread stitch you up—”

The beauty of these little ficlets is I don’t have to come up with the whole long slowburn backstory or figure out too much about the characters’ arcs up until this point, but, I will say, I love to write a Stephen who has entirely come to terms with his disability and for him to actually be mad at Loki for not seeking treatment from someone who can actually help.

“This won’t kill me.” Loki considers. “Probably not, anyway. Though I don’t feel well.”

Strange looks like he’s going to scream.

Loki glances around. “Can you use superglue to close a wound? I’m sure I’ve heard Lang say that.”

It cracks me up to imagine Scott describing how like, one time at Baskin Robbins he cut himself on the soft serve machine or something, and he had to close it up with superglue. And that Loki feels this is an appropriate thing to say at this moment.

Strange stares, his eyes blue, then green, then this curious, almost colorless color. Colorless color. That doesn’t even make sense.

In my other fics I usually refer to this as ‘seaglass’ but I try not to be too repetitive.

Perhaps Strange is right. Perhaps Loki is in danger.

“Why would you do something so stupid?” Strange asks quietly. Loki expected more rage. Rage he can deal with. People are always angry at him. 

Lol come on I wrote this fic, you didn’t think there wouldn’t be angst in it, did you?

It’s funny, actually. Loki has always taken pleasure in getting a rise out of people. It’s easy. People are predictable.

Strange has never been predictable.

So Loki tells the truth. No snark. No sarcasm. “The Oculus was broken,” he says. “Broken windows aren’t a good sign. I thought you might be in danger.”

Sometimes, Loki fears he has become predictable. Didn’t Thor tell him so, once? But he can tell this is the last thing Strange expected to hear.

“I wanted to help you,” Loki adds for good measure. He feels light-headed. He probably wouldn’t say these things otherwise. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad. Maybe it’s time he said this to Strange, to Stephen, whom he cares very much for, even if he pretends otherwise. He likes making Stephen angry by being difficult, by being intractable, by being an arse. He likes trying to get a reaction. He feels like he’s standing outside Strange’s window, throwing stones, trying to break the glass of his impenetrable, unruffle-able coolness.

As I write these ficlets, I find that I tend to start with a literal interpretation, and along the way, I find my way to these metaphors. They usually help me tie the fic together, too, so that it’s not just a collection of sentences but actually has a itty bitty plot and arc. I’m particularly proud of this one, I’ll be honest.

But Strange is immune to Loki.

It’s a bit of an act. Alright, it’s entirely an act. Loki isn’t good at seeking attention unless it’s negative.

My cat is also like this tbh.

“Did think maybe I had it under control?” Stephen runs his shaking fingers through his hair again. There’s red in the gray at his temples.

“I thought maybe you didn’t,” Loki replies.

Stephen covers his eyes with a hand. Bloody fingerprints mark where his fingertips rested when he moves it. 

I have a thing for my boys being covered in blood.

“Let me take you to the hospital.”

There’s something in Strange’s eyes. It looks like fear.

Strange’s hands shake more when he’s emotional.

Suddenly, Loki realizes Stephen has been putting on an act, too. He’s not cool and unruffled. He’s not immune to Loki.

Suddenly, Loki thinks Stephen might care more about him than he lets on.

Loki looks at his blood-soaked sweater. Considers how dizzy he feels. Ponders the fact that the shape of Stephen Strange’s lips is very attractive; the way his eyes change color with the light hypnotic.

Maybe it’s the blood loss. But he wouldn’t like to die without knowing how Stephen’s lips feel.

Aaaand there it is. So I’m a serious slow burn person, and that makes it hard for me to write these short little things. You’ll notice actually if you read them that there’s always all this unspoken backstory, like ‘they’d been working together for years...’ etc etc. But I always try to get that build even in these short little things, and if I can make myself go, AWWWWW then I’m happy.

“Alright,” Loki says. “I’ll go to the hospital.” He stands. There’s a rush in his ears. His legs feel like sodden paper. 

Stole this line from myself. I have a nearly identical simile in one of my original novels.

They buckle.

But Stephen is there, holding him, an arm tight around Loki’s waist. His hands may tremble, but he radiates safety and steadiness.

Safety is hugely important to Loki. He couldn’t ever fall in love with someone who didn’t make him feel safe, even though he probably wouldn’t admit that out loud.

A portal blooms, Metro-General Hospital on the other side. Stephen tucks a piece of hair behind Loki’s ear. “The sweater does bring out your eyes, by the way.”

Obligatory callback to the beginning of the fic. When I had Loki note that the sweater brings out his eyes, I knew that I would have Stephen agree at the end of the fic.

“Aha, you think about my eyes,” Loki says. It’s getting hard to hold his head up. Stephen guides him through the portal. “That means you think they’re pretty.”

“I think they’re gorgeous,” Stephen says. He hesitates. “I think you’re gorgeous.”

‘Gorgeous’ is my preferred word for Stephen to use to describe Loki. Loki tends more towards ‘beautiful’ to describe Stephen.

He lowers Loki to a chair. “Now sit here while I get help.”

Loki grabs Stephen’s wrist and lets his head fall against the wall. He peers at Stephen through slitted eyes, knowing he’ll survive this, because he’s survived worse. He still says, “I would kiss you, but I want something to look forward to if I don’t die.”

Emotions pass over Stephen’s face like the play of shadows on the ground as clouds scud across the sun. 

I love the word ‘scud’ but it’s definitely one of those ‘you only get to use this once in a fic’ type of words.

He swallows hard. “Yeah, well.” He squeezes Loki’s hand. “We’ll see how you feel after you’re patched up.”

Loki smiles and lets him go. He knows how he’ll feel. After all, he’s been throwing stones at the windows of Stephen’s heart.

He just never realized Stephen was throwing them back.

METAPHOR! The wonderful thing about finding the metaphor is that it’s a really easy way to end the fic. It’s the central theme, right, so you use the last line to tie into it, and done.

Thank you so so much for asking!

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,402

Approximately two months ago I sent you a calm and collected message in which I asked seven questions about our break up. I made sure to say, “Write back whenever you feel the urge and if you never experience that urge then wow please don’t reply that’s fine. I know I need to ask, but it’s okay if you do not need to answer.” I really meant that.

You wrote me back six days later, but without answers. A polite message letting me know you were going to respond eventually. That was 2 months, 2 days, 22 hours, and some odd minutes ago. In my heart of hearts, I don’t believe you will ever send me your answers. The process would take some degree of emotional effort and truthfully I think it doesn’t matter enough to you. And that’s really really really really okay. It has to be.

I am going to answer the questions tonight. Not for you to read, but for me to write. I’ve got a glass of decent Pinot Grigio. I just heard some thunder rumbling. I think I read somewhere that there’s a full moon up there tonight. So. That all lines up for expression.

(I’m not going to include the actual questions in this post because goddamn I love to come off as elusive. I have them and you have them. Anybody else’s guess is good enough.)

1. Limit of four because limits help. You were my buddy so instead of being usually on my own I got to be usually with you. You knew how to be a steady force when I needed space to not be one. You usually felt/saw/reacted/thought differently than everybody else in the room, including me. You deliberately accessed me in ways I’d begun to believe nobody could or would ever want to.

2. Limit of four because limits help. It was extremely hard to be next to you when you were making it obvious you wanted so badly to be elsewhere. I didn’t ever laugh as hard as you like to laugh and it didn’t matter to you what I thought about music. It felt like it was always going to suck that I was a white girl. I think the shine wore off, like I think you’d lost a lot of respect for me by the end.

3. I mean. I think a few months into being officially together we were having a difficult conversation about how you were 90% sure you were going to leave camp soon. It came up that we didn’t really believe in the concept of long distance relationships. That neither of us were that kind of person. How ultimately that would be just a slower more painful break up. And like. Idk. Tbh this question is hard for me to answer and I really wish you would. That’d help me out a ton. When people ask me why we broke up I make vague jokes around it and I’m pretty sure I sound stupid as fuck.

4. Okay. Work hit a rough season financially and it put you it a bad spot. We went on a cold air walk one afternoon and you told me you were going to talk seriously to an Illinois buddy about possibly moving in with him. After that we went to the Moyers for dinner and you pulled Bill aside to speak privately. As I was falling asleep that night I asked what you’d talked about and you said, “I told him I am leaving.” I was caught totally off guard because you had not said those words to me yet. The conversation didn’t go further. I attempted to hide that I was crying and you said goodnight and left. Then for about three days you cut yourself off from the world completely. Hid out. Others started asking me what the heck was going on and I didn’t have an answer. I was subtle crying almost constantly lol, so I finally txted you and asked if we needed to talk. We acknowledged that the conversation we were about to have would require bravery. I asked my boss for some time off work and got it. Um. This is when it all gets pretty confusing for me. Looking back now I think at this point you already knew we were going to break up and were even possibly trying to do it haha, but uh. I didn’t realize your mind was made up. Which. To be fair to me, you did not communicate with me how far gone you were. So. I assumed we were still in the midst of a difficult decision making process. Perhaps I should have asked more questions than I did. But. Um. We spent like the next four days together and they were borderline perfect? Which. Lol whatever I don’t want to write about them. I want you to tell me what the fuck was going on there because I think the way you were looking at our last week together was 1000% different from whatever the hell I was perceiving. I was in a honey colored daze. I’m sorry if that time was low key tortuous for you. I truly did not understand what was happening. Um. We took each others clothes off on a Friday evening and afterwards I was laughing and realized you weren’t laughing. You were blank. Staring hard at nothing. I softly asked what was wrong and you said you had to call your friend and give him a final answer. And um. And I had to say the words, “And? You’re upset? Because? You’re going to tell him yes?” Um. All this is a blur. I don’t remember saying much else. I got dressed and began putting on make up, getting ready to go watch a children's musical with friends. You stood at the door watching me a while then left. Um I cried uncontrollably on the drive into town, through the whole damn elementary school production of Annie, and the ride back. When I got home I sent you a txt saying, “If you need things before you go or have things you need to express then please let me know and we can do that.” along with some other sad content. I didn’t hear back so then at midnight I txted you a comforting I love you message and you sent a comforting I love you message back. I fell asleep worrying about you. Mm. And then. Whatever I’m not going to write in detail about it, but you very abruptly left first thing the next morning and from that point on (THOUGH WE’VE NEVER HAD THE FUCKING CONVERSATION) we have been not together. Next question.

5. Okay. I got way too specific on that last one and would like to not make a pattern of that. Sorry. So. For this one. For me. Afterwards I went dark. I went through very ugly withdrawal. I guess I can’t really write about then. Um. I waited for weeks to hear from you and heard nothing. I read everything about our star signs and I listened to the break up playlist I’d been fucked up prepping throughout basically our entire relationship. I watched ALL the Marvel movies and I drank a lot a lot so much I just wanted to drink. I couldn’t fucking sleep ever and when I did I had cruel dreams about you. When we finally did start writing to each other I got really really really really emotionally messy. Paragraphs and then more paragraphs. DRAMATIC TAKE AFTER DRAMATIC TAKE. I didn’t call you and you didn’t call me. But I bothered you and I bothered you and I bothered you. You hardly ever seemed interested in talking to me. You’d give a little and I’d gross myself out at how desperate I was for more. You were polite and you didn’t want to talk to me. Yeah okay that’s the simplest way to describe what afterwards was like for me. I was in love with someone who didn’t want to talk to me.

6. Um. Okay. Honestly. Right now when I think of you there are a few common reactions. I think of the dialogue from Liz Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love often. “But I love him.” “So love him.” “But I miss him.” “So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him then drop it.” Usually when you come to mind it’s because of one of hundreds of things that connect to stories I like about us. I’m consistently telling me, “Shut up. Nobody knows how to react when you talk reverently about your ex.” Idk. I use a lot of my 11:11 wishes on your behalf. Like unselfishly. I don’t make them about us getting back together or anything like that. No, just for your happiness/wholeness. I wish for good for you. But maybe now that I’ve typed that here none of them will come true. Sorry.

7. I am not.

[dang-misha]

Imagine – Finding out Carl is bit and being with him until the very end.

Word Count – 3,717

Warnings – Death, SADDD

A/N – I didn’t know if I should write this or not because Carl 1000% deserves to be alive but sadly he isn’t. My heart hurts so much, a fictional character death has never hurt me this bad. So I’m writing this to hopefully help me cope and help anyone who needs it too! Haha. Hope everyone enjoys. (Also should I make a part two to this? Like an update on how you’re coping. It’d have a lot of fluff with Daryl. Let me know!)

-

You and Carl have been dating for about 3 years, at least you think. With this whole apocalypse thing going on it’s kind of hard to keep track of time. You’ve been friends since the prison and started dating about a year after you met. You two were as close as you could be. You’ll never forget the day he finally admitted he has feelings for you.

“Carl, sorry if you don’t like it but I can go out by myself. I don’t need a babysitter, I’m fine!” You yelled, throwing your arms in the air and walking away until you hear him say something you never thought you’d hear from him

“I love you, please don’t leave me.” You froze, making his heart race even faster

“What did you say?”

“I – I said I love you. I don’t want you to go because I’m terrified of anything happening to you. I can’t lose you so please don’t g-“ You ran up to him and kissed him as hard as possible. You could feel him smile against your lips and his hands in your hair.

“I’ve waited way to long to hear you say that.”

“Well get ready because you’re going to hear me say it a lot more from now on.”

“Hello? Earth to Y/N! Ya listening?” Daryl asked loudly, waving his hand in your face

“Yes. Sorry I was just thinking.”

“Thinkin about what?”

“Carl, the usual.” You blushed, making him chuckle.

“You two are so cute, it’s actually gross.” You and Daryl always had a brother and sister relationship type of thing. At first when you showed up at the prison after Rick found you on the side of the road and decided to take you in after questioning you for what seemed like hours Daryl didn’t trust you at all, but everyone said that’s normal for Daryl. After a few weeks when he got to know you more he started trusting you more and eventually you became good friends. Then when he learned about your hard past he felt like he had someone he could relate and vent to. Now other than Carl he’s the person you’re closest with.

“Shut up” You smiled, punching his arm playfully. You guys went back to doing work when you heard someone whistle. It was Carl.

“Speak of the devil” Daryl laughed, leaving you two alone

Carl walked up and kissed your cheek, giving you a tight hug after

“Hey puddin’” Puddin was your nickname for him.

“You and that darn nickname. I got hungry and ate a ton of pudding once and now that story will never leave me huh?”

“Nope!” You smiled, kissing him after.

“So what’s your plan today?”

“Doing a few chores with Daryl then after that I should be free if you want to take a walk or something. I found this cool abandoned house that has comics inside!”

“Oh.. Um, I might have to watch Judith.”

“I thought Maggie wanted to watch her tonight? And come on you know how much you love your comics.”

“Plans change, sorry babe.” Your heart broke. Normally It wouldn’t bother you but the last few days he’s been acting a little stand offish towards you which is very unusual. He never acts like this unless somethings wrong. When he lost his eye he was standoffish for awhile which you expected but after a few days things were going back to normal.

“Don’t look at me!” Carl shouted, covering his face with his hands. This was your first time visiting him after the incident happened.

“Baby, you know I won’t think any differently of you. You know I love you, it’s ok.” You reached out to him but he pushed himself away.

“Please don’t lie to me Y/N, not now. I’m a fucking freak, I have one eye for god’s sake!”

“You’re not a freak! Carl I know you’re hurting –“

“Don’t. I don’t need pity, I just want to be left alone. Please leave me alone.” His voice shook, still not removing his hands from his face. You respected his wishes and went to walk out

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.” You whispered, he didn’t say a word so you left and closed to door. You rested your back against the door and slid down, sitting on the floor while you softly cried into your hands. A few seconds later you felt someone sitting against the other side.

“I’m sorry.” Carl said softly. You didn’t respond, got up and walked away. Michonne warned you that this would be hard and that you’d have to deal with things like this but it was a lot harder than expected. She gave you a whole speech on how you have to be strong for him but it’s harder than it sounds. Watching someone you love hurt that much is absolutely destroying.

About a week goes by and things are finally starting to calm down. Carl wasn’t completely comfortable around you yet, but he could show his face without having a panic attack which was a good sign that things were looking up.

You were laying on the couch reading one of Carl’s comics when he came in and sat at your feet.

“I’m ready.” He sighed, making you confused

“Ready for…?” You asked, closing the comic and putting it on the lamp stand behind you.

“You to help change my bandage.”

This was a huge deal. You wanted to scream, give him a huge hug, cry tears of joy but you tried your best to play it cool and not scare him. You took his hand and walked him up the stairs into the bathroom.

“I love you, Carl. I don’t care if you have two eyes or none you will always be perfect to me.”

“Well lets hope it doesn’t come to that.” You both laughed, making him feel a little less tense.

“This might sting a little, I’m sorry.”

Carl nodded and held your hand, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. He knew it was one of your favorite things he does to you. He winced as you cleaned the wound.

“I- I’m sorry. I’d take away the pain if I could.”

“It’s all good babe, no worries.”

You talked about funny stories to keep his mind off the pain then finished. He kissed you and gave you a hug then you both went on with the rest of the day. Everything was finally ok.

“Ok, well if you decide you want to hangout you know where I am.” He nodded, kissed your cheek and left to go do his own thing.

-

“Do you think Carl’s been weird lately?” You asked Michonne.

“Not that I’ve noticed, but then again I haven’t been around much. Why what’s wrong?”

“He’s been very… standoffish? I don’t know, maybe I’m just overthinking it but I think he doesn’t want to be around me anymore.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“No, I’m to scared that it’ll start an argument. In this world now you can’t argue a lot because you never know when you’re going to lose someone. I mean It’s always been like that but now it’s worse considering we got freaking dead people chomping around.”

You and Michonne sighed, not saying anything for a few minutes.

“I think you should just talk to him. Maybe he’s just upset and to scared to vent. If it starts getting intense just end the conversation and move on. It’ll all be ok.” You gave her a hug and a thank you then left to go find Carl.

You were walking around when you saw him sitting on the porch with Judith in his lap in a rocking chair. You always loved his bond he had with Judith. It made you really miss your younger sister.

“Hey babe” He smiled while Judith waved

“Hello, what are you two cuties up to?”

“We were just looking at the stars and chatting. How about you?”

“Just walking around getting some fresh air. Hey those are cute! Did you guys do those today?” You asked, pointing to the blue handprints on the wood.”

“Yeah, we got bored.” Carl smiled, poking Judith’s side and making her laugh.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded. Your heart was pounding. The thought of him being mad at you hurt to the core.

“Are you ok?” He gave you a confused look

“Yes?”

“You’ve.. been weird lately.”

“What? How?” Judith started fussing.

“Hold on, let me put her to bed. I’ll be right back.” He left and you sat on the stairs, waiting for him to come back out. You took some deep breaths to calm yourself down then the sound of the door closing made you jump.

“How have I been weird?” He asked, standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You never want to hangout anymore..”

“What? I always want to hangout. I’ve just been busy y/n.”

“I know but –“ he cut you off

“I think I’m going to bed I have to get up early to help dad with something. Goodnight, I love you.” He kissed you goodbye and left so quickly you couldn’t even say I love you back. Something is definitely going on.

You didn’t get any sleep that night.

-

You were on watch by yourself for the morning which gave you a lot of unwanted time to think. Overthinking is seriously the worst. “What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” “Is he sick?” “Is he depressed?” “Did someone spread rumors about us and he’s mad about it?”

“Hey” his voice brought you out of your thoughts.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry about last night. I was tired and Judith was moody all day which made me moody and I just –“

“Carl, it’s alright. I get it.”

You both sighed and looked out at the woods in front of you. It was silent for a few minutes until you looked over and noticed he was sweating.

“You ok? You’re drenched in sweat.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah I’m fine. Just a little hot is all.”

“It’s like 60 degrees. Are you sure you’re ok? If you’re sick I can go out and get you some medicine.”

“Babe I’m fine, I promise. I got to go help dad but I just wanted to stop by and see your pretty face. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kissed him goodbye and he left. Alone, again. Great.

As you sat and watched out for any intruders or Negan and his crew you thought about your memories with Carl.

“You know, you look pretty badass with one eye.” You smirked, making him blush.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. Nobody’s going to fuck with you. You’re so cool, I better watch out because some ladies might find it to cool then I’ll have to kick their ass.” You joked

“Nah, you won’t have to worry about that. I’m allll yours.”

“Are you sure you want to be stuck with me forever?”

“I have never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”

That memory always sticks in your head, you especially think about it during bad times.

“Don’t touch him.” You growled at Negan as he got close to your boyfriend. Carl’s eye went wide as he looked at you. You couldn’t tell if he was more scared because of the big dude threatening to bash his head in or because you literally just set yourself up for death itself.

“Holy shit, you got balls don’t ya! Talkin’ to me like that when I could literally just bash your brains in right now.”

“She your lady?” Negan asked Carl. He nodded.

“She’s pretty cute. She won’t be so cute though with her brain juice all over you. Shut her up!” He yelled, making him jump.

“I – I don’t talk to her that way..”

“Well ya better start, or she goes bye bye.”

“No-“

“NOW!”

“Shut up, y/n! Listen to him and stop trying to get yourself killed!” He yelled. You felt like someone just stabbed a knife through your heart and kicked you in the dirt along with it. You know he didn’t mean it and only did it to save your life but it still hurt. He gave you the most apologetic look you’ve ever seen in your entire life and mouthed “I’m sorry”.

“That’a boy! Don’t let her screw you around.”

You screamed as you watched Glenn get beat to death. Glenn was your father figure. You loved him so much and now he was gone.

“Glenn! No!” You cried, wailing almost. Carl went to hold your hand to calm you down until Simon saw and pushed him to the ground which scared you even more. He pushed his gun in your boyfriend’s back and made sure you watched every bit.

“Aw, trying to comfort your girl?” Negan acted like he cared but you know he didn’t.

“Keep making moves like that and I fucking swear you’ll be next and I’ll make sure she watches every bit of it. I won’t let her look away, I won’t even let her blink.”

You’ve had nightmares about the night ever since it happened. Not a night goes by you don’t dream about it in some way.

Carl woke up to a loud, curdling scream coming from down the hall. He ran out of his room, not even caring he was just in his boxers and ran straight to the noise. His heart dropped when he saw you stirring around in your sleep, kicking and screaming at the air.

“Babe? Babe it’s me! It’s Carl!” You were still screaming.

“Oh god, oh god please wake up. Baby! Hey!” He yelled, grabbing your shoulders. You finally woke up and you were shaking in fear and drenched in sweat. You laid your head on his chest as you bawled your eyes out. He held you close and rested his chin on top of your head. He ran his finger tips up and down your arm, shushing softly and humming to calm you down.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” Carl rarely sung, but he knew that was one of your favorite songs.

He kept you in his arms and laid back against your bed frame. He hummed all kinds of soothing songs and rubbed your arm until you finally fell back asleep. He made sure to never leave your side that night and always made sure to sleep with his door open in case you needed him again.

You loved Carl more than words could describe. You two been through everything together. The thought of him not being in your life scared you to death.

-

You sat in the nasty sewer, waiting for all the craziness outside to stop. You all sat and waited around when you noticed Carl looked horrible. He’s been looking rough lately but you thought it was maybe just from stress from everything.

“Puddin… You don’t look so good.” You said softly, running your fingers through his greasy hair. He put his hand on your lap and looked you in your eyes.

“Y/N…” He said softly

“Yes babe what is it? Do you need water?”

“Get dad and Michonne..” You were confused.

“What? Why?”

“Get them… now… please.” You got up and walked over to them, telling them that Carl needed them but you weren’t sure why.

You, Rick and Michonne walked over to him. You made sure to bring a bottle of water with you.

“Carl?” Rick asked

Carl didn’t say anything and slowly pulled up his shirt, showing a patch on his side. He lifted down the patch to reveal a bite. Your world completely stopped.

“No.....No!” You said in disbelief. Michonne gasped and Rick ran his hands over his face.

“Carl…. When?!” Michonne asked

He explained what happened. The memories from that day came as if it happened yesterday. You remembered you had a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that day as if something was wrong or something wasn’t right. You remembered you begged him to stay home that day.

“I knew something was wrong… Damn it!” You began to cry. Carl placed his hand on top of yours and held it.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m so…. Sorry.” You cried and laid your head on his stomach. Michonne tried her best to stay strong while Rick sat there in disbelief. Shock taking over his body.

“I can’t lose you…. I can’t. There is absolutely no way..”

“I’m right here babe, it’s ok.” Carl said softly, placing your hair behind your ear and giving you the warmest smile. He looked so tired and worn out.

“Everything ok?... holy shit..” Daryl gasped, seeing Carl’s bite.

Nobody said anything. The room was just filled with sounds of bombs, shooting and you crying.

As the night went on Carl was getting worse. Around his eye was red and swollen but glassy. He was sweating as if it was 200 degrees and he was wheezing more as time went by. Rick tried to give him some water but nothing was helping.

He talked to Judith. He wanted to make sure he said goodbye. He talked to Daryl and kissed Judith’s cheek and told them he loved them. You then realized why he put the handprints on the wood planks back at the house. He wanted to make sure Judith had something to remember him by. The past few hours all you did was sit right by Carl’s side. You talked about everything and anything you could think of.

“Have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are?”

“Yes y/n, a million times.” He smiled, making you smile too. He has the prettiest smile.

“Have I told you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

“Yes”

“Have I told you how badass you are?”

“Oh yeah, that I already knew before you told me.” He winked. Even in the worse situations he’d try to make everything ok. You always loved that about him.

“I love you.”

“I know, I love you too.”

“I love you more.”

“Yeah, you’re funny.”

Everyone decided it was best to leave now that everyone was gone. You helped Rick and Michonne carry Carl to a safe place. He kept begging for you guys to stop for a second but you knew you had to keep going. Finally you found somewhere safe to stay for a little while.

“Guys… It’s happening…soon…I can feel it..” Carl breathed out. Tears filled your eyes along with Michonne and Rick’s.

“No…” Rick said.

Carl thanked him for everything he’s ever done for him. He talked to Michonne for a while too. You could tell time was slipping away, it was horrible.

“Y/N…” He breathed, holding your hand.

“Yes honey?”

“Take care of yourself…. Please.. I love you so much... Do it for me…. Please..”

You nodded as tears fell down your cheek and onto his hand.

“Hey… don’t cry..” He said, wiping your tears away. You placed your hand on his and held it on your cheek for a while. His touch was so warm on your cold face.

“Please take care of Judith… she loves you, you know? She talks about you all the time…. She always asks where you are or when you’re coming home. She loves you so much.”

“You still got my necklace I gave you?” He asked, you nodded and pulled it out from underneath the collar of your shirt.

“I wear it all the time.”

“Good, I got mine too…” He smiled, showing his as well. He was on a run one day when he found them in a store. They were good as new and knew you both needed to have them.

“Don’t forget about me please..” He started tearing up.

“Carl Grimes you are absolutely out of your mind if you think that would ever happen.”

“I know… I’m sorry. I’m just scared.” This time you held his hand and rubbed circles on it to calm him down. He sighed and smiled through the tears.

“I know baby, It’ll be ok. You’ll see your mom again. Glenn, Hershel, Abe, Sasha, that Dale dude you’re always talking about. He seemed really great.”

“He…. He was.. I really miss mom..”

He reached over and grabbed a gun.

“No… No..” Rick sighed, shaking his head.

“We can’t… let you do this.. Carl, no… no way.” You said

“I can do it… I’m strong enough.”

“I love you” He looked over and told Michonne. Michonne said it back and gave him a hug.

“I love you Dad” his voice broke

“I love you Carl, I love you so much.”

“Y/N… my love..”

“Please don’t leave me…” You said so quietly, squeezing his hand.

“I’ll never leave y…you.. I love you, so, so much sweetheart…”

“I love you. I love you puddin…”

You both burst into tears as you hugged each other tightly. You kissed each other for what would be the last time.

“You should have someone with you. I’ll stay. A father shouldn’t have to see this..” you said. Rick and Michonne hesitated for a moment then left. You told Carl you loved him one more time, gave him another hug and kissed his forehead.

You turned your back to him and looked at the floor.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey… You’ll never know dear how much I love you.. please…. don’t’ take… my sunshine…away…”

~BANG~

[fighterfortheforgotten]

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

[lululawrence]

WIP List

I was tagged by @maybetheyrefireproof and @allwaswell16 to do this, so let’s find the actual rules thingy and do it! haha

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

Thanks for the tag! to save everyone i’m putting in a read more because this got far too long and i’d say i’m sorry, but i’m not really so deal with it lollll

R1 Love - okay so like...i love greg james, scott mills, and grimmy. i just do. i listen to greg and scott’s podcasts as often as i can and they make me smile when i’m having a bad day. i then started to imagine harry coming out to his mum because he saw her reaction to scott coming out and knew she’d be supportive and how that would have him cling to the r1 dj’s even more, but like, what if he had a crush on greg and then, because he’s a regular listener that greg gave a “job” to for the podcast, got invited to go and tour the studios and thought his dream of meeting greg was coming true only to meet his gorgeous intern louis??? so yeah. this is basically gonna be a massive ode to the r1 djs, mostly greg and his podcast peeps, and a bunch of silliness cause i can. it’ll be part of the 1000 feelings challenge whenever i finish it.

Wibbly Wobbly 2 - AKA Back to How it Was’ sequel hehehe people seem to be interested and invested in what happened with other harry and other louis. where was other harry while our harry was there in his universe? does he remember anything? did he go back to the morning that our harry woke up there and have to recreate the magic? what was he up to while our harry was there? all these questions will be answered, as well as WHAT HAPPENED WITH LOUIS in the sequel. i’m actually doing this one in part with @1dfanworksforcharity so be sure to check out the blog and see how you can bid as well as more details for what all i’m offering in my creator post here.

Soulmates Famous/Non-Famous AU - this one is actually also going to be part of the @1dfanworksforcharity as well, if people want it (i hope you do). the basic idea of this one is the world is black and white until you have seen your soulmate, EXCEPT there’s a caveat. pictures don’t work for this, but video/tv does. imagine louis’ surprise when he’s watching graham norton one night and looks up to see what exactly that famous singer harry styles looks like anyway and his world bursts into color as soon as a handsome face with dimples and beautiful, bright eyes comes on the screen. even more surprising is when harry’s performing at one of his outdoor shows in london and when he goes to the side of the stage to get closer to the audience, his world also becomes flooded with color. the fic will be all about the mishaps, journey, and adventure of them trying to find one another. if you win this one in the charity auction, you’ll be able to help give some plotpoints and ideas for things you want included in the fic that i’ll do my very best to create for you :)

Fantasy AU - i have had to shorten this title because dragon/hedgehog witch au was getting too complicated and didn’t fit in the small space of my to do list lol see harry unintentionally pissed off a witch one night and was turned into a dragon only to find the witch had disappeared and there wasn’t any way for him to get himself turned back. he starts going in search of the white witch that is rumored to be on the other side of the kingdom who sometimes, with her kind heart, turns back the spells of this particularly moody witch. on his journey he meets a hedgehog who goes by the name of louis, a bird with a broken wing named niall, and a mouse named liam. will the white witch be able to turn them back? if the white witch can, will she do actually do it? and will the bond between these four that was forged during this journey be enough to cross class and background if they are? no idea when this one will be finished tbh, but i keep getting more and more inspiration for it so what was going to originally only be a few thousand words is turning out to look like it could possibly be my big bang for next year lolll

Stealing Flowers AU - so the amazing @harrehleh showed me a prompt hahaha and it all comes from this photo:

basically louis has been crushing on dimples with the hair for ages, but he can never seem to get the guts to talk to him. he doesn’t want to bother him on the tube, but they almost always catch the same train home and get off at the same stop. one day, louis starts seeing signs posted with what he knows to be dimples’ back photographed and the accusation that he’s been stealing flowers from people’s gardens. louis feels awful and finally gets the courage to talk to harry after seeing the signs, but things are never quite as they seem.

Attention Famous/Non Famous - y’all are probably sick of my wips list already, aren’t you? i’ve got so many. i promise i’m almost done. there’s a reason i have an actual list for this lol anyway, this is based off the song attention. harry is a famous actor who just broke up with his up and coming model boyfriend. his ex is taking advantage of the fact it’s near the debut of harry’s newest film and trash talking him to industry people and everyday people alike at the parties. harry keeps hearing the bullshit and when he sees his ex at a party one night, decides to get back at him. louis, meanwhile, is struggling because his hours just got cut at his main job and his secondary was only seasonal so he has to find supplementary income. his bestie niall invites him to get in on the catering for some of the industry parties and when it turns out he isn’t needed at one of them, he’s given permission to mingle at the club. he never thought he’d end up dancing with harry styles to help him get back at his ex boyfriend.

Sneaky Tube Pic - so essentially harry sees this person who is so hot on the tube and his friends don’t believe the person he’s describing actually exists so he finally works up the courage to try to take a sneaky pic and prove it. harry thinks he got away with it, but as louis gets off at his stop, he slips harry a slip of paper with his number on it and a wink. hehe

Larried in Vegas WIP - this one has been sitting in my pocket for seriously over a year. still unfinished. because i keep getting distracted with fics like the ones i’ve listed above, but i swear this is the last one. anyway. louis wins tickets to the BBMAs and since he’s obsessed with zayn malik, who is PERFORMING, he jumps at the chance and drags his best friend, liam, with him. liam is less than enthusiastic, but that’s fine, because while there they meet harry and niall. since they’re seated beside each other for the awards, they get to know each other well and by the end of the night decide to go clubbing together. when in vegas, right? their night takes an unexpected turn when they accidentally land at the club where zayn malik himself is hosting a private party. when they wake up the next morning not remembering anything past meeting zayn, they have to piece together the night’s events via social media posts, trending tags on twitter, and the videos/photos on their phones. hehe

AND THAT’S IT! *bangs head on desk* i know. eight fics. it’s a lot. sigh. BUT i’m excited for them all. OH SHIT I FORGOT ONE!

older kid fic - i saw a prompts post about wanting kid fics but where the kids are older, and i’m super excited for this one, though i dunno that i’ll ever finish it. i love the idea but have no idea where it’ll go lollll harry’s got a 16 year old daughter who has a newfound love of drama. he goes to attend her final monologue performance for her class, and finds out that she might have told him to come because she secretly wants to set him up with her unfairly beautiful drama teacher, mr tomlinson.

OKAY FOR REAL THAT’S IT. sigh. anyway. i have no more official deadlines, so i’ll be writing as i am able and when inspired, which is FABULOUS. please help me stay inspired by talking to me about them? that helps. hahaha

okay! so now i’m gonna tag...i have no idea who has already done this??? how about... @tommosgun, @laynefaire, @larryandgaystuff, @haloeverlasting, and @londonfoginacup, and @comebackassholes haha i’m sorry if you’ve already been tagged i love you all

[seungchanie]

everyone;s doing this so, who in sk would you ship your mutuals with?

SKHDKDJ ANOn i was dreading the day that Igot this ask bc I really suck at these so i had to think sm abt it with mypeANUT brain buT i’ll try this is super cute 😔

@bchanies + FELIX 100% the BIGGEST memes i’ve everseen istg like I feel that talking to her is what talking to felix would belike sdjhdf i feel like both of them would feed off each other’s extraness andprobably just sCREAM together 24/7 also both are the biggest sunshines everlike both have such bright personalities im suddenly blin d + also to me felixbeing the sweetheart he is just comes off like the type of person thats good atcheering up others and making them happy and its whAT SHE DESERVES

@chanbng + chan :’) Both of them have sm in commonim sjdfsks (AKA THE FACT THAT I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SM)  ok first of all both are incredibly talentedlike ;;; both chan and fishy are the type of person that are like talentvending machines lmao yesterday you were floored by a post flooding withtalent? WhOOPS now here’s 3873 more things they can do binch you thought andboth need more SLEEP like im gonna actually buy a plane ticket to tuckboth of yall to sleep istg

@hyyunjinn + minho! sorry not sorry i feel like both have similarpersonalities like both of them are pretty blunt and straightforward and wonthesitate to express what they think so i feel like they are kinda like aperfect fit :’) alsO they are both rly soft if you dont know what i mean justlook at her tags i always clench my heart reading them 😔

@hyunjinh + chan! dont ask why i just really seeit lmao i think their personalities are alike and I feel like both would di efor each other’s humor idk I really feel like they’re super similar skhdjd ican just imagine both feeding off each other’s dumb jokes haha also not tomention both are insanely talented like if i had to give a penny every time iwas floored by their talent i’d be broKE AF

@chuuyo ok so i hIGHKEY admire nic a lot and ifeel like she’s a really sweet and caring person she’s also INFINITELY talentedher works are seriously so amazing and that somehow instantly leads my mind towoojin! Woojin’s so talented from is voice to his guitar and piano playing rlythe talented legends we never deserved and just imagining her with woojin issuer cute :’))

@realstraykids + minho! I could say that minhowould be lucky to have em but that would be such an understatement?? em isseriously the sweetest person ever and if minho ever were to be hard on himselfeM would be there and square to love and support 1000%. These two would beserious power couple goals that the rest of us…are not worthy… to behold…+ bothare infinitely talented like ???? Where they get all that talent is stillunknown for us mortals

@straykidzz + felix 😔😔😔 I rEALLY love and admire manda sm but dont tellher i said that probably the reason why he was the first one to come to my mindis bc of how both are insanely talented and not only that but have haveimproved sm with time???? like im ?? felix is super hardworking and hasimproved sm since the first episodes and it really reminds me of her like sheshowed me the before and after of her gifs and honestly im still so shook?? Andi feel like her and felix’s personality would just fit rly well tbh and i’dlove to see how she would cope with felix’s extraness skdjdj truly a superiorpower couple

@seungminty + seungmin! shE’S SO SOFT FOR HIM ICANT DEAL a king and a queen tbh we’ve all been knew this is truly one superiorcouple like have you seen this and this????? ‘nuff said alsO her text postsabout him and woojin are literally everything seungmin is indeed one lucky man 😔

@spearbin + changbin! How could you not ship thistbh CAMILLE’S LOVE FOR HIM IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING Her text posts abt him arethe reason to all my soft changbin hours istg I always die when I see them andI can just imagine her saying all those cute ass text posts to him and changbinwould probably pretend to not care while his ears just  got super red andTHAT’S A CONCEPT I LIVE FOR

@jeongin + jisung! Luna is seriously soooo sweetand caring towards her friends and she will mOST likely go off if you mess withthem (I love her sm omgsdkjf) which reminds me of how much  jisung caresfor his members :’)) + her works are so pretty and aesthetic they just reallygive off a jisung vibe to me!  

@iloveminbin + minho! This is the super soft yetlowkey savage couple lmaoo sof is seriously so sweet istg I really don’tdeserve her she loves minho sm her tags for him never fail to make me soft afbut she is actually secretly savage just like him skdhks like when minho issuper sweet and caring to the members yet he won’t hesitate to eliminate themwhen there isn’t enough food 💀💀ALSO THIS IS THE POWER VISUAL COUPLE JUST SAYIN DONT @ ME SOF

@stray-kids-trash + hyunjin yes just ..yes… TWO OF THE SOFTEST SWEETHEARTS its super adorable howsweet and caring she is towards the people close to her I literally love alexsm and hyunjin is pretty much the same so i feel like they would be the softestpower couple if you ask me also,,the height difference would be the cutestthing ever,,,like if she ever needed to grab smth hyunjin would be right thereto help her or if they hugged how she would,,just kinda disappear in hisarms,,,and thats,,, super cute,, dont block me pls

@lovelyyhyunjin + HYUNJIN LMAO Ok not only are bothof them absolute sweethearts which i love bUT THEY’RE BOTH CLUMSY AS HECC ITDBE SO FUNNY AND CUTE SKDHJD I thought i was the clumsiest person untill i metalyssa tbh lmaoo but apart from that they’re both insanely caring and sweet andi would give them the world ;;

@stray-kids-stuff + jisung! Cerys is truly thesweetest and such a good listener i love her to death i feel like she would beperfect for jisung and she would also be a great shoulder to lean on for himespecially how he must want to rant about the members 24/7 lmao and they wouldjust be the cutest pair istg

This is way longer than what i thought it’dbe how did this happen omg sdkjfd

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 307

So this was an episode that happened. It’s kind of tough to get excited about an episode that’s sole purpose is basically to set up the next one. There were definitely some parts that I really liked *cough Claire cough* and some things that I side-eyed so hard. *cough Jamie cough*

I get that the point of this episode is to show just how much more work they need to do if they’re going to be able to rebuild their life together. And it *is* making me excited for next week to see shit actually go down. But based off of how underwhelmed I was with last week, I feel like I really need to lower my expectations for next week, haha.

This week’s episode served its purpose, though, sooo...

Shockingly, I hate this opening. Like yeah, Claire needs a patient to set up part of the tension with Jamie, but jfc at this point I’ll take her being physically threatened in a non-sexual way rather than *another* attempted rape. All that needed to be accomplished was for the guy to trip and fall. There are ways to do that without attempted rape. We get that the 18th century is dangerous. Stop going back to that same well, show.

Jamie not asking Claire if she’s ok when he comes in bothers me. A lot. Like dude. Look what you just walked into. Look how freaked out Claire is. And you’re *not* going to ask if she’s ok? You’re *not* going to like give her a hug or some gesture of comfort? Even if she wasn’t his wife who just showed up after 20 years and they had just spent the last night having lots of sex, any other person would have asked if Claire was ok if they came across her in that state.

I get that part of what they’re trying to get across with Jamie in this episode is how detached he is from basically everyone. Like he’s been hurt so much and lost so much over the last 20 years that he’s decided feeling nothing for people is more bearable than being hurt by them or something. But, idk, I feel like even if that’s how he’s functioning now, common decency still says you ask someone if they’re ok.

Claire asking Jamie if he understands why she has to try to save the rando makes me sad for her. Because she’s basically asking him if he understands who she is at her core and his reaction is like begrudging acceptance. Which like, I get it. It’s easier for everyone if the guy just dies. But for Claire, it’s like Jamie is barely tolerating her literal purpose in life. The thing that got her though their years apart. And that makes me want to give her a hug. It’s also a stark contrast to his reaction last week when he found out she was a surgeon and he was all “oh you always were” like he was so proud of her. Getting whiplash here, bro.

(Not that Claire needs to justify *at all* what she’s doing, but I feel like now would have been a good place to introduce Jamie to the Hippocratic oath.)

Also not a fan of how Jamie tells her that she’d be arrested for assault if they call the authorities about the guy who broke in. Like dude. There’s a way to do that without being an asshole.

I swear this episode feels like last week never happened. Especially on Jamie’s side.

“I admire a woman who values the sanctity of human life.” I never in a million years thought I’d like Yi Tien Cho better than Jamie in an episode. But yeah. I like him in this episode. I’m definitely on board with how the show has changed him. I’m here for the respect between him and Claire. Good job, show.

I was seriously wishing they would cut the whole Campbell storyline but nope. Here we are. *fast forwards*

I’m always here for Young Ian and Fergus, though. But can we please talk about how Young Ian is fucking 14? Yeah, they said he was 16 last week, but they fucking start ep. 302 with the year 1752 on the screen. Claire goes back to 1766. That’s 14 years. Jfc, show, if you wanted to age him up a bit (which yeah, you should age him up a bit), you should have tweaked the timeline in ep. 302 rather than having him be canonically 14 but then be like nope, jk, we want him to be 16. Whatever. He can be 16 from now on, but for real. Math. It’s a thing, show.

Age nonsense aside, I am so here for Young Ian asking Fergus about Claire and Fergus like fanboying the fuck out over her.

Ok did Outlander miss the memo that people made fun of Game of Thrones for having random sex and nudity in the background of scenes? And how they don’t do it anymore and that’s a good thing? Because for a show that claims that it has great respect for sex and nudity, there are randos banging again in the background of Jamie meeting Sir Percival. Because clearly if there weren’t we wouldn’t be able to understand that it’s a brothel? Whatever, I don’t dislike it, and it’s not like I took what the production team says in interviews seriously to begin with, but I’m rolling my eyes a bit.

I love that Yi Tien Cho goes along with what Claire needs and seems to genuinely respect her skills. Be more like him, Jamie.

“This ends now.” Why do you suck so much through so much of this episode, Jamie. There’s being changed after so long and then there’s being a complete twat. Jamie through a lot of this episode is like leaping over to the twat side of things.

Like I love the little scene when he tells her she’ll have other chances to use her skills and help people and the whole bit about being willing to give up everything to be with her again and stuff. That’s lovely. But it seems like a completely different person from who he is during most of the rest of the episode. Like he goes from acting like he’d give anything for her to *not* be there and not be blowing up his spot one second to all mushy and romantic the next. There needs to be tension and stuff, but the swings in his characterization are kind of jarring. Especially since the shit with Sir Percival has literally zero to do with Claire showing up. It would have happened regardless... (Ok, maybe the guy wouldn’t have died, but him and Sir Percival still would have shown up to search the brothel.)

Like the “You will...return? After?” line works. His fear she’ll leave and his insecurity and stuff works. Him being a complete doucherocket to her? Not so much.

Anywho. Young Ian and Fergus are adorable and I love them. I am 1000% here for this bromance. Also, Fergus is totally full of shit about having a threesome for his first time, right? Unless the teens at Lallybroch are way more sexually liberated than I thought, lol. In which case, more power to them. You get yours, rando Highland lasses.

The difference in Claire’s face when she gets off the carriage in Edinburgh in ep. 305 vs. when she’s walking to see Margaret Campbell in this ep. kills me. Like it literally took *one day* to basically crush the poor woman’s spirit. Just the weight she’s carrying there of everything she went through during the 20 years apart plus the weight of what she gave up to come back is just all right there on her face. Her 20 years apart weren’t happy, but she built a life that was hers. She had purpose in her work which I wish we saw more of. She had her daughter which I wish we saw more of. And she gave all that up for a guy who has interrogated her regarding her motive for returning, insulted their daughter in more than one way and has been treating her like pretty much nothing but a burden? You need the biggest of hugs, Claire.

Seriously wish they just cut the Campbells, though. Like we’ll see how they handle them later on in the season, but yeah. Hard pass.

Young Ian is awkward and adorable and I heart him. But I could really have used less of him in the print shop with the girl...

Ok does no one in the 18th century know how sex works? How can literally every virgin on this show just assume that horses set the gold standard for secksi times?

“Maybe we can find a place of our own.” “And leave the brothel?” Yes, you fuckwit. Seriously. Who is this Jamie. I get it, he’s changed, yada yada, they’re different people. But literally last episode he was like “oh, yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have brought you to a brothel” and now he’s like “oh yeah, it’s totally cool if we just live here.” Wtf. Be consistent within your own universe, show.

I love that even though Jamie is being a complete jackass this episode, Claire is still like planning her future with him. Claire knows what she went through during her time apart from Jamie. She doesn’t know all of the details about what Jamie went through, but she knows he is profoundly changed. Claire isn’t naive. Wanting to start to rebuild a life together isn’t the same thing as pretending that their old lives didn’t happen. When she went back to Frank, he wanted to ignore the past and that was unsustainable. Wanting to not live in a brothel is not the same thing as wanting to pretend that the last 20 years never happened. Claire knows that she’s scared and hasn’t been fully honest with Jamie about her life without him, because being vulnerable enough to do that takes a lot of trust and courage, and she’s not quite there yet. But I really believe Claire believes that she and Jamie can get to a place where they’re able to share everything they went through. When she said they didn’t need to rush things in ep. 306, I took that at face value, not as her avoiding the hard truths of their time apart. I really think she just understands that it will take time and effort to regain enough trust between them to be able to share what needs sharing in order to build a solid, new version of their relationship that’s built on honesty. Her trying to find a productive place for herself in Jamie’s new life works really well for me. She’s not asking him to change (except their living situation, which I can’t blame her in the slightest for), she’s trying to find a place for herself in his, and now her, world. Knowing what Claire gave up, and the fact that she didn’t take that sacrifice lightly, to get back to Jamie makes it pretty clear that she’s willing to do whatever it takes to try to find their way back to each other. I get the sense that she knew that there would be a lot of emotional work involved and she wouldn’t have gone back if she wasn’t willing to do it.

Apparently I had a lot of feelings about Claire wanting to move and start her own practice. Anywho...

I love the reunion with Ian. I love the mix of pain and shock and happiness on his face. I’m glad they had him tell her how much he and Jenny mourned her when she left. I’m really looking forward to Claire and Jenny next week, but I do kind of wish they’d switch things up and have Jamie and Claire tell Jenny and Ian the truth. Because otherwise, Claire leaving is solely on Claire when really it was Jamie who basically forced her to go. I loved Claire and Jenny’s relationship in season one, and I hope (but doubt) they’ll make this change. It feels like it’d be very in character for show!Claire to want to do once she is back at Lallybroch and really sees how much pain her leaving caused them.

I do like their fight after Ian leaves though. Like, finally. Get into itttt. Please. Go there. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Although Jamie acting like he sees the world in black and white when he literally lives in the gray areas doesn’t really play well for me. But Claire, knowing that Jamie’s inability to raise his children hurts him like whoa, going in for the kill by telling him he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a parent does work. Because yeah, he *definitely* should have given Ian some peace of mind. It was a total dick move not to. And what Claire said was a low blow and not really a good look for her, and two wrongs don’t make a right and yada yada whatever, but it was a shitty move by Jamie not to give Ian some relief and he needs to be smacked upside the head and that’s basically what Claire does except on steroids.

I’m here for Jamie’s anger about not getting to raise Bree, and her being raised by another man. But a) that’s not fucking Claire’s fault, you asshole who literally, physically pushed Claire’s hand onto the stone, and b) I’m annoyed as fuck by him bringing up the bikini again. I get it, different time, yada yada, but it feels like he has just leeched onto that as something to throw at Claire as like a sign she was a bad mother. Because she let Bree wear something like that. (He can say she was a good mother when they’re all lovey in bed and stuff, but when he’s called on his bullshit he apparently has no problem being a complete fuckwad...) But oh wait, who also used Bree as a way to hurt Claire? Frank. Don’t be like Frank, Jamie. Ugh.

The look on Claire’s face when she says that Frank was a wonderful father to Brianna breaks my heart a little. Because he wasn’t. He used Bree to hurt Claire. He played himself against Claire so he looked like the good parent in Bree’s eyes. Bree may have loved him, but that’s not being a good parent. That’s being a manipulative, cruel, selfish piece of shit. And I think Claire knows that. But she knows that Bree loved him and she’s like trying to hang on to that fact to make what she went through over those 20 years with Frank seem like they weren’t a waste.

And she says it to Jamie because she doesn’t want him to know how much pain Frank caused her while she was with him. It hurts Jamie to hear that Frank was a good father to Bree, but I think Claire would rather have him hurt that way than to see just how badly Frank fucked her up because Jamie made her go back to him. Because on some level Claire blames Jamie a bit, but also doesn’t want to seem like she “lost” the separation? (It’s not a contest, Claire, but I get it...) Like Jamie hasn’t shared much about his life without her. He shared only a few details around Willie’s birth, so Claire knows he was a bastard, but she also saw Jamie’s excitement and love for the child that overshadowed his reaction to Bree. And Jamie hasn’t gone into anything about the pain and misery he went through on his end during his years in the cave or in prison. He’s only given her the couple romantic lines about living in the shadows but now the sun’s back and yada yada. So to Claire, it seems like yeah, Jamie went through some stuff, but he has his life in Edinburgh and he’s happy in it so if Claire admits that she was miserable and living this cobbled together half-life for 20 years, it makes her more vulnerable to being hurt more deeply than she could probably bear if Jamie can’t understand? Which, by his behavior since she came back, it doesn’t seem like he would?

GUYS JUST RIP THE BANDAID OFF, PLEASE! I NEED TO SEE THE RAGE AND PAIN AND ARGH IS IT NEXT WEEK YET BECAUSE I NEED THEM TO JUST LET LOOSE AND SCREAM AT EACH OTHER!

Ok Jamie dramatically jumping over the railing with his ridic blanket scarf thing is too much for me. Like I can’t even. It’s so dumb.

But Fergus’ face when Jamie tells him Claire doesn’t know about his other wife yet is my everything. We’re all right there with you, Fergus...

[surviveatitlan]

Episode 1 - Soy perezosa y estoy cansada. Quiero morir. - Emily

Jay Bee

I'm on a tribe with only people who've played in Athena. So. I'm gonna be first boot CONFIRMT! I was like 'cameron don't cast anyone I hate like [redacted], [redacted], or [redacted]' but honestly honey! this is worse! I've hosted everyone in this cast except like 4 people. So. Hell. Okay so initial early tribe assessment: Alex: really strong player, kinda scary kinda gentle. likely first boot if we lose. Rebecka: thats my queen! if she votes me out i'll say thank you. im hoping to work with her and timmy since there's the himalayas connection Autumn: is a winner but tbh not that threatening Timmy: don't know him that well, which hopefully means I can work my social charm Dynamics could be a mess since its 3 girls/2 guys, 3 himalayas/2 not,  2 people ive hosted/2 i havent, etc. Intersecting. Very intersecting already 15 minutes in.

Madison

Okay first of all FUCK YOU for 4 tribes of *5*?! How am I supposed to survive this? Although Bryan is here THANK GOD. and Dan is here which could be good although idk if he’s over how dirty I did him in Mongolia. 

Olivia

Helllo!!! HOLY SHITBALLS THIS FUCKIN CAST WHAT THE HELL!!!!! I’m good friends with Sammy who is on my tribe so that’s cool and I like francie. I’m playing against jay?!?!?! Not cool!! Never wanted that to happen she’s my host mom I don’t wanna compete against her 😂❤️ Also heather and Tim are here wtf!!!! Omggggf ahhhhhhhsnakdbsa. So many iconic players I hope I can skate by without being seen as a massive target 

Allan

Looking at the cast list I know literally no one lmao. The only person I recognise is Madison who i played a mini with and we literally sent two messages to each other. I'm hoping that not knowing anyone might work in my favour because it means I'm willing to work with anyone. I just really need my tribe to win this first immunity because I fear that I won't have time to form any bonds if we lose and I might be a first boot.

Timmy

I'm screaming, why is this cast so iconic. Like this tribe is amazing and I have no idea what will happen if we have to go to tribal. Here are my initial thoughts on my tribe: Alex: We have only talked socially in groups, never one on one, but he is cool. Autumn: Love, an icon, a true fave, but also a dangerous player because she is sneaky but if I can get her on my side now, I should be fine for a few rounds. Jay: Queen, another icon, love. This is the first time we have ever really talked but she is one of the nicest people in this community and I want to work with her. Just have to be wary if her, Emily, and Francie get on a tribe together because they will be a power trio (an iconic one, but a very dangerous one). Rebecka: Oh god, seriously another icon. This tribe is too good, she is a strong player and strategic. We need to win immunities when in this tribe because this is a strong group of people and who knows what will happen if we have to go to tribal.

Dan

I'm just saying this rn. If I end up on a damn tribe with Alex Crooks, I might lose my mind. He irritates me beyond belief and I really don't want to put up with him. I'm super happy I really only know Madison on my tribe because I want to make new connections with people and not be stuck with the people that I play every game with all the time. I've had it with Emily and Francie joining games together. I love them so much, but like byeeee. I feel like I won't make it far in this game bc of who is in it, but such is life! 

Heather

Wow such a pretty cast but im playing with 3 people who have/are hosting me so this should be fun. And who's bright idea was it to put me on a tribe with Emily. Like we are the same person and I love her to death. I have wanted to work with her for so long and now we get the chance to. AND A FEW OF MY LOVES ARE ON OTHER TRIBES. And Annmarie is here with me on whatever the tribe is called so IOS pride. Ive been talking to Brian Brian and hes so chill i love it.  And Jacob the lip sync king. Im excited omg this cast is beautiful. 

Francie

okay so four tribes of five ppl? oh wowie thats something I havent done before. less people = less connections to make at first but when you'd have to go to tribal? oh, that'd be tough bc less room for variety and like alliance and stuff with low numbers is just...yeah. I might add olivia and julia to something then? I guess? I mean off the bat, all four of them seem good but I know more about olivia and julia (not a ton about how they play in game tho asjdhhaf) on other tribes, emily, jay bee, and tim are out there somewhere like holy cow my mom, my best friend in the community, and my son? in the same game with me? damn cam, good call separating us like this. imagine if we all made merge together.... this challenge?? a duolingo spanish challenge??? holy shit my time has COME not only do I have the time tomorrow to dedicate to this but I actually have the skills to do it!!! like,, really reasonably well!! some on the other tribes too, probably, but I'm extremely confident about this already

I forgot just how basic basic spanish is I feel like it's day one of freshman year again 

what if i just do it, make an alliance tonight. its a small tribe gotta make connections quicker.....

cam sending a message about adding hosts to alliance chats? could someone already be making one. hf, im gonna go for it

I did it I made an alliance with julia and olivia already and if it goes south by any chance, oh well I called it 2 and a half gals ajsdhjasld

I'm anxious about everything so ofc im anxious about making an alliance s o soon but also its a small tribe so I need to get together with some people bc if I wait to long i could get hecked over so...

I think this tribe call is the chillest tribe call i've been on ajlhdkgflsahjd

Emily

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8vgwmkpLEc

Bryan

WHATS UP BITCHEZZZZZZ IM BACK AFTER CRACKTOA FOR SOME LAGO DE A TITTY LAND!!! WOOO!!! THANKS TO CAMERA FOR HOSTING ME!! Honestly looking at this cast. I’m 150% sure this cast will tear each other a part because there is so many people here known for being snakes and being messy and it’s just gonna explode. But anyways. My tribe: Madison: omg I literally love this girl so much. Bless up that she was casted. She’s one of my best friends in this community and I know we can work together. Tim: I’ve been able to play with him for like 2 rounds in another game but he was very pleasant to talk to so I’m excited to be playing with him again. Alann: no idea who this person is. Dan: he hosted one of my games before. We didn’t really talk much but he seemed nice. Overall. Super pumped for this game!! I’d try and go over people on other tribes but that’s honestly too much work. Bye for now! 

Tim

So the cast seems increadibly strong and seeing everyone be so iconic makes you wonder which person is about to be the first boot. Not me! Also the tribes are SOOOOO small its scary. 5 people? Rip laying low. Even the hosts were like make an alliance of 3 to keep majority lmfaooo. 

Madison

This video makes it seem like I’m dragging Allan. I would like to clarify tha lt I think Allan is a lovely person. Otherwise: https://youtu.be/-qEd8D76iL4

Bec

https://youtu.be/E_RvgCg5qXw

Dan

So we're safe from the first tribal! Yassss. Which is good because I really haven't talked to many people on the tribe. Jus the cordial how's the weather bullshit, ya know. I really like don't see myself getting super far in this game just based on who is cast, so I'm just gonna have fun and too my best! WOO! *high kick* Anywho, I'm sad the love of my life Beckka isn't safe this week :/ I hope the devil incarnate Alex Crooks goes this round. I've had it with his ass. 

Bec

-i knew we were gonna lose -i refuse to go home -jay told me to make an alliance with whoever i want with her so me her autumn lets go -need to talk to timmy -alex just added me and i realized we hadnt spoken yet and yikes

Francie

we won the immunity!!!! woo!!! our tribe came in second and I pulled so many points out of my ass. es muy bueno

Tim

We actually won with the highest score woo!! The challenge was honestly pretty fun yet challenging luckily Madison had some knowledge of Duolingo that helped us. Wooo our tribe [insert name]

Emily

We barely missed tribal... lmao I fucking hate this challenge. Soy perezosa y estoy cansada. Quiero morir.

Timmy

This sucks. Alex already messaged me saying “can’t wait to go home” because he got the lowest score and just added two other tribe members. I don’t really want him to leave though. It’s just really difficult because this is such a good tribe. Just hoping the fact that I’ve already been talking to everyone will help me out going into the tribal council, because I do not want to be the first person to go.

Madison

BOOM BOOM BOOM LEMME HEAR YOU SAY WAY HOOOOOOO BC WE WON IMMUNITY!! Tribe morale +1000! I love us! 

Heather

We got 3rd place, but Aye no tribal. Guess that means FORM RELATIONSHIPS YAY. There has been no talk of an idol system yet, so I def want to get to the bottom of that soon. ahh Im going to bed...

Bryan

Haha. Bilingual kings and queens only on my tribe woo! I’m sooooooo happy that we got first place in the challenge!! Like. Hopefully this is much different from krakatoa where I went to almost every single tribal council pre merge. *shakes violently while having flashbacks* but honestly. Tribe morale is up which is sweet! No real new updates is relations I think. Only that I’ve found out that Allan ends 80% of his messages with “haha” 

Jacob

WE DIDN'T LOSE HELL YEAH!! ... but I'm kinda crying inside because no matter who leaves we lose a legend )': But HEY only 18 people stand between me and victory so woohoo <3

Jay Bee

listen i am so hungover at a panera right now but I DONT WANNA BE FIRST BOOT!! this four tribe bullshit better go away in another round or two or else i’m going premerge which i h9. i dropped some hints to put alex on the bottom day 1 but i’m hoping like rebecka and autumn are with me. we made an alliance so hopefully they’re With It

AnnMarie

Wow. This game started off a bit oddly, especially with all of my inactivity the first day. Despite that, I'm shocked at how the first immunity challenge went! My first immunity challenge ever in soarsa ended badly because of inactivity, but this time we are safe and I get to relax a little and get to know some of the people I'm playing with. Heather is incredible and Emily is so sweet. I trust Brian and Jacob and I wish we communicated more. The tribe is a bit more quiet than I'm used to, and I hope we bond more. I feel very good about this game especially since it's set in Guatemala. If a lot of the hints and challenges are in spanish, I think that I'll be breezing through. Hopefully I can use my knowledge and language to leave an impression on the people and the game itslef. Cheers to a good game!!

Sammy

YES, WE MAY NOT HAVE GOT 1st BUT TIME DID SO GOOD AN I AM SO PROUD OF THEM. I HAVE NOTHING JUICY YET:( our first call was kinda awkward but the dog managed to entertain us. Anyway yeah I’m super pumped to work with everyone! 

Autumn

Omg I love and hate the lake already haha. I really like the cast and my tribe but the game is off to a rocky start since we lost the Duolingo challenge. I know it's not my fault but I feel like I made a huge miss steak. WHY DIDNT I JUST USE GOOGLE!!! I'm proud of myself for earning so much xp in such a short amount of time but I made it so much harder on myself and easily could've gotten those extra 300 points that would've put us in 3rd place. It's ok though Atitlan is lit and we shall overcome

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/koror-blog-org/images/1/1c/Reaction2.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150624035411

ALSO I LOVE MY TRIBE!!?! It really feels like a wholesome beautiful Athena reunion and seeing Jay and Timmy again is awesome. And then Rebecka is bae so you really can't go wrong. She created an alliance with me, her, and Jay and I stan. Mothers and Daughters is making merge y'all heard it here first. We're all voting Alex and I feel bad but I'm relieved because he's been super inactive and hasn't even added anyone until now so maaayyybbe it's not the worst thing. After this Atitlan has to be rock solid so if Alex is already the odd one out we might as well make it official

Olivia

WE WOOON WOOHOO!!!! I got the best score out of anyone, which is cool in a way but also could be perceived as threatening. I can see the same path that I went down on isle of skye spread out so clearly in front of me and I’m trying to change that. Fuckin tribe mates wouldn’t stop praising me and being so nice and calling me queen when I really didn’t want them to. I tried to deflect because I do NOT want to be seen as the leader again. That’ll probably just lead to an early merge demise once again. Idk how to stop it tho! Julia wasn’t going to be able to contribute much so I just tried to do as much as possible to make up for her and francie and nick were not that far behind. I regret sending my XP score I thought everyone would but they didn’t. I like 4/5 people on the tribe going to tribal so I hope it’s the fifth that goes hope (alex) but while it would break my heart, getting out one of the 4 icons on that tribe would make my life easier. Francie seems to be my closest ally at this point but also Sammy. But idk if I trust francie completely like she’s made it so far on Mongolia and did an awesome idol play and shit and she’s obviously really good at the game. However that could mean that if I’m her closest ally that’s good for me! But emily is also in this game and everyone knows how good she is. And also her and francie are f4 in Mongolia right now and seem to be closely working together so that poses a serious threat to me being francie’s #1. It’s going to be weird playing with heather and Tim because I’m good friends with both and would love to work with them but if I blindside them/they do it to me would it affect our relationship? I’d like to think no. AnnMarie and I left on super great terms in ios so there’s potential there. And then there’s Madison who everyone and their goddamn mother has worked to apologize and appease her in the reunion chat for voting her out but it’s like girl COME ON you could try to be a little less bitter about it. I never once apologized and tbh I do not regret voting her out in the slightest and I hope I get to do it again this game! I know some people viewed it as a not smart move but it was helpful to us and boosted our confidence and whatever! Doesn’t matter anymore. But I know she still holds a grudge towards me somewhat and I’m gonna either get my throat cut by her or work with her so we’ll see how that goes. And there’s also jay, my host mom. Idk man she said she’s here to play and play without limits or hesitation and I feel a really close bond with her but I know that has to be set aside for the game. There’s people here I’m totally sure she’s closer to so I’d have to appeal to her on a game level on why we should align. But maybe we won’t. On one hand, she said this is the last one she’ll be playing for awhile and I’d LOVE to see her win and do great because I love her and want her to do well as my friend!! On the other hand I want her to go pre-merge on a tribe I’m not on so that my biggest emotional threat and also probably the biggest threat in the game can be gone without the blood on my hands. I’m just glad I won’t be first boot. If our tribe goes to tribal it’ll probably be nick but it may be Julia because of the challenge but who knows about the next one! Could be me lol (knock on wood) Sorry for popping off there it had just been awhile lol

Also there are people in this game that are WAY bigger threats than I am so that’s reassuring. I just gotta make sure I play that up and conceal myself more than I did. So far, not doing great at that lmao 

Emily

Listen I love jay but I’m praying she goes pre merge

Brian

I don't know where the fuck I stand in the game. People are fake so rip. GOod thing there is another inactive on my tribe. 

Allan

¡Ganamos el desafío! I'm so happy we didn't have to go to tribal because I have no alliances or anything. Tbh I like everyone so far. Tim has been talking to me a lot but I couldn't really see myself going far with him so I guess we'll see how it goes.

Tim

My senses are telling me that me and Madison are on the outs while Dan is the flip vote and Allan and Bryan are on the other side. Bryan just gives me... really bad vibes and we arent really clicking at all and I dont think he's even putting forth any effort in our convo. I just need to talk more with peeps.

Nick

CONFESSIONAL ABOUT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME So we are doing cast reveal and I’m like omg I’m friends with a lot of these people. But when we get on our tribes I DONT KNOW ANYONE. And I’m like crapp 1) the newbies are outnumbered 2) I already have enough problems with people I know now I have to make new relationships, which I have no problems 3. All of my friends have been split pretty much even in each tribe 4. THERES only 5 peopleeee. Like I do worse with tribes with less people But my tribe is very freaking active and I’m super excited to hopefully slay the game

Heather

My tribe isn't speaking that much, which sucks. But it could be due to us not having to go to tribal. I have spoke to Annmarie however, trying to form a tight relationship with her. Since we failed at that in Isle of Skye. I think we are cool and are into working together, even though last time we did, we wasted her idol together.

Nick

Confessional About After the challenge So the challenge was DuoLingo AND I LITERALLY Completed the whole thing in 24 hours #SpanishSkillsUnite Because our tribe was in it too win it, like half of us finished the whole thing and one came really close Like we freaking slayed And the best part is For once I don’t have to go to first tribal in an org. Thank god

Alex

I think I got handled a bad deck with this group. I’m not the most active and I sucked in the challenge. Just not the best combo for me

Alex is voted out 4-1 and round 2 begins.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 3 Episode 15: The Semi-Finals (Commentary & Guesses/Clues)

Hello fellow Masked Singer lovers! It’s that time of the week aka Ana’s Masked Singer recap time, my favorite time of the week especially now during quarantine. Wow, we are now at the semi-finals with only 4 contestants left, I can’t believe it, we are almost to the end of these recaps & I am not gonna lie, I am a bit sad about it. Anyways, again, we will be honoring the judges with some trophy emojis because they are getting there and I am kind of shook, but this time I am also gonna give the judge with the worst guess ever a poop emoji because it was a horrible guess. This segment is called “Panel Spotlight.” Ok, so having said that, let’s get started! (Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead, proceed with caution.. don’t say I didn’t warn you)

Alright, to begin, we have the masked contestant who came in 4th place which was: 

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE RHINO 

Alright, am I surprised? Nope, not at all. Am I a bit upset? Yup, a little bit, but again I saw this coming so not that surprising. However, if it were up to me, he would’ve left after Frog, but I digress, I don’t control these things. Anyways, about his performance of Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw, it was one of his best performances I feel. No, it wasn’t super performance/dance heavy but it was really strong in terms of vocals & he played the guitar which was amazing. No, he wasn’t the strongest, but I also don’t feel like he was the weakest. 

Anyways, the Rhino was revealed to be... 

BARRY ZITO 

Yay another one that I figured out woo hoo!! I am not a baseball fan myself (not a sports fan in general haha), but my dad is & through some Internet research I kinda figured it out (also thanks to CinemaBlend’s clues & theories... the guy who hosts it knows a ton more about sports than me especially with how the clues match up). Anyway having said that let’s look at the most recent set of clues & how they match up to Mr. Zito:

In the clue package, he was talking about a monumental event that happened recently, which was the birth of his 3rd baby boy a few days before the performance. 

#9 in toothpicks= he was 9th pick in the 1999 MLB draft 

For the after performance clue, it was called the “closer look clue” where the clues were on the contestants & they had to go very close to the judges for those clues to be seen. Rhino’s was a baby elephant pin which again alludes to his baby. 

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Alright so yay we are giving 2 🏆 to two panelists, Jenny McCarthy (not surprised) and Ken Jeong (very surprised). Also, never thought I’d say this, but Ken nailed it with saying he appeared in JAG season 9 episode 9 (even though that’s not what the 9 meant but whatever let’s give the man some credit for once in the season) 

However, the worst guess aka the 💩 was the guest judge, comedian/former SNL cast member Jay Pharaoh, who guessed freaking Blake Shelton. His legit logic was um idk any country stars but I do know Blake and he’s tall so yup that’ll work. Terrible logic if you ask me. 

Alright, we finally have our 3 finalists going into next week’s finale. To honor the finale, I am going to put them in reverse order as to where I think each of them will be placed (and no it’s not based on how much I like them, it’s more objective with a dash of subjectivity... you’ll see.. I’ll explain as I go): 

3rd Place: Night Angel aka Kandi Burruss    

(Side Note: These guesses are so obvious that they are making side to side pictures of them when you search the contestants on Google Images... These photos are not mine, I didn’t make this, it was already made, so even the media is catching on) 

So, as for why I put her in 3rd place, I feel like she’s good and all but Frog gets hyped up way more than she does for some reason so he might go farther than she does in terms of placing. If it were up to me, she would’ve been runner-up, but objectively Frog is probably going to be placed higher because he’s an audience favorite. 

As for her performance, she sang How to Love by Lil Wayne (aka Robot) and honestly it was one of her best performances. It was her most energetic by far and it was very memorable that she took a risk by performing a song that is way out of her typical bubble (aka vocally challenging songs by strong female singers) so I commend her for that. However, I wasn’t wowed with her performance as much as like Jenny was (she hyped her up way too much like damn). 

As for clues, here’s what I got: 

In the clue package, she mentioned someone she lost, calling them a guardian angel. Kandi lost her brother Patrick when she was 15 in a car accident, so that’s who she’s referring to since she has stated that he is her guardian angel. 

Her closer look clue= a moon pin = featured in Rashida’s song from 2012 “Legs to the Moon” 

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Alright so yay we are giving the 🏆 to her hype beast, Jenny McCarthy who has guessed her for a while but I am still going to give it to her because she kept insisting.  

However, the worst guess aka the 💩 goes to Ken (unsurprisingly) who guessed Ciara (even though that would be cool for her to be on a future season) who is (or was when the show was being filmed idk) pregnant & Night Angel isn’t pregnant as you can tell by the above photo. So, ya that’s a no on that Ken, but hey at least you got Barry Zito. 

2nd Place: Frog aka Bow Wow 

Alright, so pretty much I put him at 2nd place because the dude gets a ton of hype on the show, but he’s not my favorite by any means so no way in hell am I putting him in 1st place even though he might win sadly (I genuinely don’t think he should win, but whatever... it is what it is) 

As for his performance, he sang Naughty by Nature’s Hip Hop Hooray and ughhhhh this again... I’m sorry I sound like such a hater, and if you like the frog, I’m so happy for you, but like he keeps doing the same thing over & over again, it’s starting to get annoying. He keeps performing such similar songs every time & he isn’t a strong singer/rapper, so I personally feel like he should have left ages ago and he is way overhyped on that show. 

As for clues, here’s what I got:

In the clue package, he was playing basketball with the Men in Black & also got strike by lightening= he starred in a basketball movie called Like Mike where his sneakers got strike by lightening & he gained Michael Jordan’s skills

1000 on an album= he was on the Millennium tour 

Her closer look clue= mom pin= mom upside down is wow like bow wow get it? & also he is very close to his mom, she was his manager when he started his career as a kid

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Alright so yay we are giving the 🏆 to Robin Thicke & guest judge Jay Pharaoh (who took me on a rollercoaster ride with his explanation) for guessing Bow Wow (Robin is persistent & did that mom upside down is wow thing so I gotta give him points for that) 

However, the worst guess aka the 💩 goes to Jenny (yup I said it) who said Chance the Rapper, which like what? Seriously? What clue made you think that? 

1st Place/Predicted Winner of Golden Mask: Turtle aka Jesse McCartney 

Ok, ok here comes me being a bit subjective here... yes I have a soft spot for the Turtle/Jesse McCartney, but I have literal reasons why I think he should win that aren’t “I am just in love with him & he gives me the feels,” I swear they’re legit. First, he has an amazing voice, falsetto on point man. Next, he can stand toe to toe with the Frog because the dude can dance. He just has the whole package while Frog can only dance. Can Frog hit those beautiful falsetto/high notes? I don’t think so... mic drop, case closed, Turtle’s winning! (I predicted Fox last season, and I feel good about this one) 

As for his performance, he sang Jealous by Nick Jonas and it was full of falsetto (how many times can I say that word without sounding snobby?). I freaking loved it, it was fun, energetic, and dare I say sexy... yes, I just called a guy in a Turtle costume sexy, I am embarrassed for myself as well. 

As for clues, here’s what I got:

In the clue package, he spoke about his love for Robin Thicke, apparently he is a Robin super fan = well Mr. Jesse McCartney did cover Robin’s song, The Stupid Things on his Beautiful Soul album in 2004.

Back street sign= he did tour with the Backstreet Boys in 2005 & 2013, but he isn’t a member of the boyband (we will get into that in a second)  

His closer look clue= a big diamond ring on “that finger” = he got engaged to his girlfriend, Katie Peterson, on September 2019 

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Alright no  🏆 for the panel because everybody was way off, and I am annoyed at how way off they were because they kept getting caught up with the whole Backstreet Boys clue. 

However, the worst guess aka the 💩 goes to Nichole, because even though she guessed a Backstreet Boy like everyone else (her guess was Nick Carter), the fact that she guessed Jesse last week & then changed her answer irritated the living hell out of me... like girl you were right for a split second & now you are so wrong. 

Anyways, that's it for my second to last recap (damn, I can’t believe it). Stay tuned for next week because we have not 1, but 3 reveals that we will be talking about so no more guessing, just commentary... I am very excited for the finale. Do you agree with my predictions? Let me know in the comments. See you guys next week for the last time (until fall because season 4 starts around then). 

[jeonfinite]

end of the year fic meme

total number of completed stories: 5 total word count: 51225

Overall Thoughts Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I wrote way more than I predicted bc I never thought I’d produce fic at all, but I actually published a oneshot or chapter at least once a month since june. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I would’ve never guessed I would become 100% certified jinkook trash this yr and would’ve laughed in your face if you told me otherwise lmao. I didn’t even know who jungkook was until feb!! in fact despite always having a soft spot for bts and following all of their music releases I was like actually ‘I don’t think I’ll ever truly stan them’ lmfao. my life is a joke. What’s your own favorite story of the year? forever yours. it’s basically everything I ever want to happen in a fic. seokjin as an academy award winning actor? jinkook writing a song together? jinkook going on cute dates and continually supporting the other as they fall deeper in love? ugh my heart. the idea is so dear to me and it’s my baby. and even tho bangtan disbanded in the fic, they all found their own success and they’re rly close friends. I fucking love the ending too omg. I did my best to make it rly gratifying and make up for all the stuff jungkook went through earlier. plus I love fics based on idol/band verse, canon/divergence/future fic and I liked weaving in canon elements to it. it makes it feel more real imo.

Did you take any writing risks this year? uh, not rly? other than writing and publishing my first fic ever. and I guess actually shading big hit/bang pd lmao. as far as I know of, no one has done that before? and multiple ppl have called me brave for doing so lol. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

to try to write longer fics I guess. there’s this 10k fic I’ve been planning forever but still haven’t gotten around to even tho I kept meaning to write it next lol.

From my past year of writing what was… My best story of this year: definitely forever yours. honestly sometimes I feel like it’s my peak lmfao. like I will never able to match some of those descriptions ever again. whenever I’m struggling to write something and I go back to it I’m like HOW DID I WRITE THIS?? and when ppl tell me I’ve made them cry and laugh omg. I almost don’t believe it. I don’t think any of my fics have elicited such a reaction and I think it’s the one that affected me most. I hurt my own non existent heart. My most popular story of this year: forever yours lmao. not only does it have the most hits/kudos/comment/bookmarks, but it’s the fic I most often see ppl reccing, screaming about, and quoting on twitter. I love it tho. pls continue screaming about it and @ me!! The story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: lights go on again. it’s gotten the least attention of all my fics so far. idk if it’s bc ppl are sick of me already or if I rly offended that many ppl by insulting their precious bang pd oppa lmao. also yo where all the jin stans at? I thought at least they’d appreciate its contents lmao.

but also rollin’ the deep bc I actually like that one a lot now and it’s the second least popular lol. but it’s on par with light me up and I expected that based on the content. ofc the fics with jin winning an oscar and shitting on the mother/son trope would gain the most traction so I’m not surprised. The most fun story to write:

us against the world! the idea of everyone hitting on jin and jungkook getting jealous was too good to pass up. I had so much fun writing taehyung’s scene omfg. I actually started it with it lmfao and it seems like most ppl agree. hoseok’s always makes me laugh and ngl I feel like a genius whenever I reread that fic lol. :’) definitely my peak humor and probably the funniest/crackiest thing I’ll ever write.

Story with single sweetest moment?

it’s a tie with forever yours’ birthday scene and light me up’s christmas decorations. but overall rollin’ the deep made me melt the most with how overwhelming sweet it was. I live for soft sweet jinkook doing grossly romantic things for each other ok. The story with the single sexiest moment:

jungkook wearing lingerie in light me up, definitely :x tho the smut scene in forever yours is infinitely better imo. I will unfortunately never able to write a smut scene that good again but I think it’s the intimacy of the moment and the way it’s written that makes it so special, hence why I like it so much. The most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

idk? me attempting smut even tho I’m terrible at it? quoting myself I actually said “writing sex is honestly so hard already I would never waste my time writing it just for the sake of it if it didn’t have any meaning” yet the smut in light me up was the first scene I started writing. I am a goddamn hypocrite lol. but it’s sth I thought I’d never be able to write bc a few years ago I would get so embarrassed by the idea and would want to throw myself off a cliff at the thought lol. The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

none of them rly. I just write jinkook like I how see them. their interactions just come so naturally to me that it’s one of the easiest and most fun things to write in my fics. The hardest story to write: honestly… light me up. all my fics get rly hard to write one point and I always start off hating the first drafts bc they’re complete garbage but I fucking suffered the most writing that one. literally took fucking forever to wrangle the sex scene into what it was. it was hot ass fragmented mess that I had to slowly unravel and reorganize one sentence at a time. I didn’t even want to look at it bc it was so bad lol. and two of the most pivotal points; the lights  and lingerie were awful at first so I struggled to make them good enough to rly stand out and to a standard I was pleased with. and transitioning the first scene into the second one where jinkook kiss under the snowfall and the ending were fucking hell too. you can ask kaleidotears, I was bitching to her the entire time lmao. albeit vaguely bc I didn’t want to spoil anything. I started a month in advance bc it usually takes me that long to produce something and as the date approached closer I was lowkey panicking and almost thought I wouldn’t make it lol. The biggest disappointment:

lights go on again. not only is the reception lackluster compared to my other fics, but it’s honestly the weakest thing I’ve written so far. I’m seriously considering orphaning it but idk :( The biggest surprise: idk. I was honestly fucking shellshocked when us against the world got over 1000 hits in less than 24 hrs tho. I never expected that kind of reaction, especially for my very first ever fic. I honestly thought no one would want to read my fics lol. but also when ppl say I’m their favorite or one of their favorite authors?? like in what in the hell. I consider myself an amateur bc I have never written consistently before in my life. I’m new to the whole fic writing scene. I’ve actually spent the majority of my life hating my writing lmao. or when ppl praise things I think I’m shit at lol. I also like rollin’ in the deep a lot more than I thought I would considering it was just a dumb fluff piece to satisfy my thirst. I wrote the first 1300 words in a waiting room and I was like I don’t have to make this perfect bc it’s stupid fluff but I legit melted writing it. oh and publishing the first chapter of forever yours in two weeks after my first fic. how in the hell did I ever write 9k that quickly I will unfortunately never able to do that again.

The most unintentionally telling story:

I’m not sure what this even means? a lot of myself does bleed into my stories I think. like even if the mood varies depending on the scene I feel like my voice carries through? they just sound like me and it’s something that can’t be repicated lol. like my fics have a shit ton of cussing which is part of it lmao. but also sometimes I give jinkook aspects of myself like seokjin doing aegyo and being clingy when drunk (which is actually real omfg I’m a genius sorry) and jungkook not realizing when other ppl like him. also by reading my fics you can tell which groups I stan, what foods I like, etc. and ofc when I start waxing poetic about their looks or voices or talents that’s all me lol. Highlights + Wrap-up Favorite Opening Line(s): “And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to… Kim Seokjin!” — forever yours; ch1 twenty four

The world is fucking taunting Jungkook.— forever yours; ch2 fiction

Jungkook feels sick. Bile mounts up his throat; it tastes like bitterness, hurt, betrayal, anger, resentment, and heartbreak, flowing through him in chaotic discord. His voice breaks underneath the staggering weight. — forever yours; ch3 smile, again

they’re all from forever yours lmao. the first one is for very obvious reasons but the other two I find the most riveting. I tend to start my fics with dialogue or with “seokjin/jungkook …” bc I’m so creative lol Favorite Closing Line(s): they lose themselves in each other until the world fades till there’s nothing but seokjin and jungkook, just their mouths and bodies and hearts uniting into one against the world. — us against the world

I’m forever yours. — forever yours

I like connecting the endings to my titles clearly lmao. but those endings are the strongest and the ones  I’m most proud of. the other ones are all kind of similar and end with jinkook in a bed saying I love you haha. Favorite 5 10 Lines from Anywhere:

it’s relatively quiet outside and the weather is beautiful; the clear, azure skies provide an obstructed pathway for the gleaming sunshine to burn the foliage in a palette of fiery crimsons, rich golds, and vibrant oranges. the oppressive summer heat has finally faded into a cool, refreshing breeze with the advent of autumn. seokjin tugs jungkook into his side for a surge of warmth as they amble towards the car, the crisp air nipping at their skin, rustling through his bunny ears, and fallen leaves crunching beneath their feet. — rollin’ in the deep

Snowfall blankets the landscape like an instagram filter, casting a creamy, dreamy lighting over the scenery. It looks like they stepped into a fairytale. — light me up

Jungkook hums sweetly, toying with the strands of hair behind Seokjin’s nape. The melody is so soft and sweet like a souffle that Seokjin wants to devour it—so he does, capturing Jungkook’s lips and licking the inside of his mouth. — light me up

The parade marches through as they eat, a symphony of prismatic floats and musical instruments decorating Main Street with whimsy. Seokjin sways alongside the music and Jungkook joins him, their bubbling giggles adding another layer of sound to the percussion. — forever yours

Seokjin is so beautiful but he’s never been more gorgeous than when his chiseled, naked body and pink strands glisten with sweat while thrusting deeply into Jungkook, dark eyes smouldering with lust and headiness, handsome face contorted in concentration intent on pleasuring Jungkook, and plush, pretty, pink mouth falling open as melodic sounds escape his lips, sweeter than his blessed high notes. It’s too much for Jungkook. — forever yours

“You’re gorgeous. My beautiful baby boy. Sweet marshmallow bunny.” — light me up

the bright white of the headband contrasts with his dark hair, haloing a soft crown of light around him, and coupled with the afterglow of his orgasm, he looks angelic. seokjin tells him as much and he flushes a pretty pink, a perfect complement to his ivory rabbit ears. — rollin’ in the deep

jungkook licks his lips as they stroll past a lone vendor selling hotteok, and when seokjin kisses him, cornering him in the enshrouding, secluded thicket of maple trees, seokjin tastes sweet like brown sugar, like cinnamon, like the warming comfort of fall spices and home-baked treats. — rollin’ in the deep

It’s empty this late at night, their only company being the summer breeze rustling through their clothes and the mild rippling of the waves. The water glitters beautifully underneath the stars in the darkness but it pales in comparison to the way the moonlight dances off Seokjin’s freshly dyed pastel hair to illuminate his gorgeous features. He looks magical, bright eyes sparkling and pink strands shimmering. — forever yours

The kiss is everything Jungkook dreamed and fantasized about but beyond his imagination. Seokjin tastes like coffee and chocolate and cream, their dessert lingering on his tongue, and Jungkook licks up every last morsel of flavor. He can’t get enough; Seokjin is so sweet and soft and warm against him like a freshly baked cake. He’s addicted. He wants more. — forever yours

also the iconic:

“Fuck PDogg hyung and Bang PD hyung” — forever yours

you know what this is too fucking hard. I’ll do a separate post with my top 5 lines from each fic. these are just 10 lines I’m particularly fond of and rly wanted to highlight bc no one else has.

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

1. JUNGKOOK WEARING LINGERIE AND BUNNY EARS but particularly the part with jungkook sitting on seokjin’s lap growling he’s sexy and seokjin laughing at him for being adorable. literally if my drawing skills were good enough and I had a tablet I would fucking illustrate this myself

2. seokjin gifting jungkook diamond studs on the balcony underneath fairy lights and the seoul night sky

3. jinkook kissing under the snowfall and surrounded by christmas lighting + decorations

4. jinkook holding hands while walking outside in the fall foliage and seokjin kissing jungkook in a thicket of maple trees

5. JINKOOK PERFORMING THEIR FUCKING DUET AT JUNGKOOK’S SOLO CONCERT

+ bonus sakura petals swirling around seokjin with seokjin cornering jungkook against a tree to swipe stray ice cream off his lips and licking it off his thumb and watching the fireworks at disneyland with seokjin’s head nestled onto jungkook’s shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist.

Fic-writing goals for 2018: to finally write the ideas on my ever growing list. my last three were completely unplanned and were random spur of the moments. but I wanted to write something for jin’s bday. I could’ve written something short from my list but I wanted to do christmas lights and jungkook in lingerie so :x also to take my sweetass time until I’m perfectly happy with everything before publishing and not rushing out fics anymore. I’ve learned that when I try to write something as fast as possible for others—it goes wholly unappreciated like the last chapter of forever yours and light me up. like half of the original commenters disappeared despite finally getting the happy ending they cried for and being so excited for the fic? lol idk what happened but there’s no way I could’ve messed up the last chapter that badly… but yeah it’s just not worth the stress lmao. ppl just don’t understand the effort, time, and pain it goes into producing something.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

-

Alright, on to part three, where Phoenix’s big fat mouth gets Apollo and Athena into deep doodoo.

-

QUICK CHILDREN, INTO THE MANHOLE!

-

SDUFGDGSF YOU CAN ‘MOVE’ WHILE YOURE BEING CHASED 

way to ruin the moooooood XD

-

well athena if its any consolation, smelling like a rotten egg will probably delight sadmad.

y’know. cause youre a putrid egg yolk.

-

“Once a rebel, always a rebel!”

apollo was never a rebel

you sent him back to America before he could do any rebelling.

>OH MY SNARK IS CONFIRMED BY APOLLO

-

oh everyone’s met up now

-

“It was like watching a pair of ostriches bury their heads in the sand”

the FUCK does that mean, Phoenix?!???

-

“dubious hovel”

-

whats wrong with athena? i thought she was huddling up in the corner because she saw something unnerving, then maybe because of all the sudden people there–– but it’s implying she’s disgusted by the shitty state of the place?

what, is Athena a germaphobe now??

-

“He said he hopes you’ll come back and take over this office someday.”

“M-me?”

“Those were his words! He might have been half-joking though.”

I’m not sure which I’m more offended by; the fact that Dhurke still assumed Apollo would make a shit lawyer, or the fact that Apollo does indeed take over. Spoilers. Haha.

-

“must’ve been because of you, dhurke!”

no it was because of Phoenix Wright because he was a cool guy, once upon a time. also because, unlike every other lawyer in the gotdamn series, Apollo just really friggin loves the law. He thinks lawyers are legit cool and he wanted to be one because he just happened to have a passion for litigating. He’s not a prop in your stupid story, he’s his own interesting person.

-

“Dhurke was never a hands-on kinda dad...”

you can motherfucking say that again, vore machine.

“...but not a day went by that he wasn’t thinking of ya. That much I’m sure of.”

yeah he sure was

thinking of the favours he could one day ask of him.

“Doesn’t get more paternal than that!”

Athena, you don't even have a dad. Your opinion on the subject is completely worthless. 

“(Dhurke... And to think, I really did spend my days trying to forget you...)”

god apollo you don’t deserve this. you deserve trucy and klavier and thalassa (being an actual mom for once) HELL you deserve your ACTUAL, REAL DAD.

-

“The victim’s passport and any pictures of him were burned up in the fire. Without knowing his real name, no divination seance could be performed.” 

So you’re telling me Jove brought every single glossy of himself into that blaze? And after the fire, nobody bothered checking the dental records on the corpse/asking where that neato musician from the other night went?

Once again, DDSOJ police, at their best. If there wasn’t a coverup involved, I’m gonna be pissed.

-

( My real dad... I was never really interested in learning about him. )

While this is a totally understandable and natural reaction... I really wish–– Actually, no; it’s best Apollo never learned that he once had a father who actually gave a fuck about him. That’d probably break his heart.

-

“As the son of the terrorist Dhurke, Nahyuta was expelled from the royal family.”

i.... why did Dhurke keep him in Koooraheen, anyway? He really couldn’t have sent him to a happier life in America with his half brother?

-

huh i think that face-palm is a new expression for Vore Machine. he almost looks reasonable.

-

“As his son, Yuty no doubt got the cold shoulder at every turn.”

amazing. not only was Apollo abandoned in America in some shit orphanage with zero contact from anything he knew as family, but Sadmad was forced to stay behind in a country that hated his guts. The perfect situation for both boys!!! No wonder they’re both so fucking grouchy all the time! Dhurke, you parental genius!

-

“Dhurke’s the kinda guy who can become fast friends with just about anyone!”

guess that explains the fandom popularity 

-

“Lol come over n play some jams bro”

“Ok dawg is it chill if i bring my kid my wifes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Yeah its cool I'm great with kids”

“tight”

-

“It’s like Dhurke’s done nothing but save me all my life” yeah... from messes he made.

-

“Jangly Justice”

god. i want to root for Jove but like. He looks like a tool, he sounds like a tool, his stage name is the tooliest thing ive ever heard... 

-

originally this section was me ranting about how Thalassa would never have just ‘stopped looking for Apollo’ when she heard that Jove perished in the flames, since Apollo’s corpse was never found and the rebels were out looking for her to give him to her– but instead I’m just gonna leave you with ‘that excuse is mad weak and the writers need to try harder.’

-

“You should try on the jacket, Apollo!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Look, I can excuse Athena, because she doesn’t know. But Datz knows its mold infested and disgusting. And he just finished talking about APollo’s tragic past. What the everloving fuck is up with this sicko?!

Also Athena, you can’t laugh at him wearing an eyepatch when he just got done wearing one all last year. 

-

“I’d recognize those horns anywhere!”

“Is that really the only way anyone recognizes me?”

cue Phoenix harrumphing from the corner and brushing his spikes

-

yknow maybe ive mentioned this before but why /hasn’t/ the queen found the safe house? It’s Dhurke’s old law office; that’d be like, the first place I’d check. Its like wondering if Dumbledore’s Army is based in Hogwarts.

I mean I guess you could say the Queen assumes theyre not stupid enough to hide in their old main haunt but... they’re stupid. they’re really, really stupid. it’s been proven like 800 times.

-

so we just had a ladder convo about lizards?

also what do you mean geckos like to live in houses? i thought they just climbed around outside them. aLSO WHY ARE THEY EATING THEM 

... I appreciate that it ended in a Bugs Bunny Switcharoo though.

...And Phoenix ends it with “theyre just a plain old lizard”

I guess Phoenix doesn’t know flowers or lizards. 

-

i really don’t know why none of the revolutionaries think sadmad’s playing the long con. they’ve all just completely given up on him. what if he was pulling a snape??? they talk about trust and shit and yet none of them trust their own leader’s son? shameful.

-

“It seems like Gar’an has some serious leverage over him”

okay, they suspect he’s being controlled with some kind of blackmail... and yet do nothing to help him? they’re dumb enough to risk their lives doing something like that, but not compassionate or caring enough?? to their leader’s son???? what the fuck??????

-

aww i missed Beh’leeb. I hope she and her (born/ unborn? cannot tell if she’s pregnant or not) kid are doing ok.

-

“So she’s trying to help the revolution along... in her own special way!”

that sounds enormously patronizing phoenix, shut up. she’s pregnant and she has to deal with fucks like Datz running around blowing off firecrackers at government officials.

-

...youre giving the orb to datz.

ill eat my hat if nothing happens to it.

-

“We’ll attract undue attention if we go in too large a group”

oh also because youre dressed like baby’s first paint set but

-

“AAAH!!”

“Do you know something about this?” “Nope! Just felt like shouting is all.”

yes, this is definitely the guy who should hold onto the orb for you. also i presented the attorneys badge. guess he has nothing to say about apollo’s proof of profession, eh?

-

“Yeah... You’d think Nahyuta might’ve cut his old man some slack, but no.” Dhurke you thick son of a bitch

-

wow. one single flashback occurrence where Dhurke wasn’t a dick. Well, 1/1000 ain’t too shabby...

-

“What? You came to visit me and you didn’t even bring me a present?”

What, like your plate of ‘my son is NOT a failure” sushi, Dhurke ?

-

“But I’m not a rebel.”

“Don’t be ridiculous– You’re a member of the defiant dragons simply by being my son.”

HE’S NOT YOUR SON YOU FUCK

-

If you present him your attorneys badge he jokes about dying happy and apollo makes it explicit that he means via execution 

dhurke. that means apollo would die too. stop fucking joking about him dying you prickwad.

-

Apollo: Hey Dhurke know anything about this necklace

Dhurke: OOOAAHHH!!! OHHH!! AHHH!!!!

Apollo: So thats a... 

Dhurke: Hahahahah its a no son give it here

Apollo: Yeah ok i see nothing suspicious about that at all and i sure hope the secret behind it wasn’t important to this case or anything..........

-

me: jeez i hope that stupid necklace was the last thing we had to present

phoenix, appearance from god knows where: hey maybe ask about the hostage

me: bless you baby. also i forgot you were here

-

Phoenix: Sounds like the minister has someone you really care about, cause you totally obeyed everything he did.

i know what youre trying to excuse here SOJ staff but no, straight up lifting right out of JFA will never be ok.

-

“Is there a new lady in your life?” “WHAT?! DONT BE RIDICULOUS SON!”

I’m gay now! Hahaha. But seriously. Nobody wants to date Dhurke.

-

“Amara was the love of my life, but she’s gone now, and there will never be another.”

cue Dhurtz shippers furiously jamming their fingers in their ears and whistling 

- 

wh

what the 

fuck is happening 

to his aRM

-

“You tensed up” HIS BROKEN ARM STARTED VEINING SO HARD THAT IT SHOWED RIGHT THROUGH LIKE 2 LAYERS OF CLOTH

THATS SOME KRISTOPH DEVIL HAND SHIT RIGHT THERE

JESUS CHRI

oh there’s something hidden in there THANK GOD THAT SCAREDTHE FUCK OUTTA ME

-

“Oh I see– so youre hiding a woman’s photo up your sleeve”

oh yeah, a 3D photo. that has bumpy bits. absolutely apollo.

“You don’t need to keep secrets like that from me– You’re an eligible bachelor now. But you’ll... introduce her to me at some point, right?”

this has that creepy ‘parent insists you have a crush on that one kid’ conversation vibe to it, especially since it’s not like Apollo ever had an attachment to Amara to make him see her as a mother; she was ‘dead’ before he could even walk.

-

“Mon dieu! Are you into younger women, Dhurke?!”

Athena,,,,,,,, athena,,,, Apollo,,,,, he’s 

it’s 

oh never mind.

-

“Heh heh. Dhurke, you old dog, you. You got yourself a younger lover.”

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO, NOT NEVER MIND. YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF AMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT AMARA LOOKS LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAST AND PRESENT DHURKE BECAUSE THERES NO WAY HE COULD JUST RANDOMLY CUT HIS HAIR AND THEN HAVE IT GROW BACK THAT FAST.

I KNOW YOU THINK SHE’S DEAD BUT AT LEAST FUCKING SAY YOU THINK IT’S HER TWIN SISTER YOU UTTER UTTER NUMBSKULLS

“This is Amara before she died. If you look closer, you’ll see that I was younger, too.”

“Hey. You’re right.”

“Aww, that’s no fun.”

MY ULCERS ARE NO FUN BUT GUESS WHAT NEITHER IS LIFE

-

“Wait a second... Haven’t we seen this woman before?”

DAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH

GOOD FUCKING BALLS PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE TROLLING DEAR GOD AAHGGDFKAFAGF

-

i really love that photo though. everything about it is generally just really nice.

-

wait hang on. they. they just. they kept her around? after her fake assassination? they just–– WHERE YOU COULD GET A PHOTO OF HER?!

EXPLAIN–– THERE’D BETTER BE A GOOD EXPLAIN

-

“She was confined within the grounds, but she was fit as a fiddle.”

Ga’ran. Ga’ran. Ga’ran. You stupid, stupid, stupid bitch.

-

“She was being held under virtual house arrest, so I freed her, and we made a run for it.”

“Of course, we didn’t just proclaim it to the people so that they’d realize Ga’ran was a dirty bitch; that would have been way too easy hahaha.”

Ohhh I see. They didn’t know Ga’ran was the one who did it. Except Ga’ran was the one who kept her under house arrest and faked her death so... It’s pretty obviously her? Amara would know that by putting 2 and 2 together? But no... Apparently Amara was suspicious enough to suspect Dhurke of being the arsonist like Ga’ran said, but brave enough to ‘accompany him so she could ascertain the truth for herself.’

hey remember when i said brave. i meant stupid. she was stupid enough to go with someone she thought might have tried to kill her, completely unsupervised. though i guess you'd have to be that dumb to actually fall in love with Dhurke in the first place.

AH, and she was immediately recaptured. Because Dhurke sucks. 

Waaaaait wait wait. How long and when did he ‘rescue’ her? The incident was 23 years ago, but Rayfa is 14– and Amara would need the usual 9 months to gestate– plus, the room she’s holding Rayfa in has the Defiant Dragons handbook in there, so it’s probably someplace of Dhurke’s–– 

Meaning there was a nine year gap but they still didn’t show her to the general public to depose gar– AGHHH. ITS ALL TERRIBLE!!!

-

“Apollo. We need to grill the queen about Amara when we have the chance.”

Hobo Nick’s ghost: Hey uhh me, that might get you uhhhhh murdered i thought we got over that after von karma tasered the shit out of u––

SOJ Nick: DOOOOHHOOOHOO I LIKE SOLVING MYSTERIESSS

-

Apollo: hey maybe the baby Amara’s holding is me. 

Athena: Nah it’s too cute to be you.

Apollo: ....i just want to have proof that I’ve known the loving touch of a mother at least ONCE ATHENA OKAY???

-

“Hm? Oh... well, either way, it’s not you, son.”

yeah fuck you apollo the Sadmahdis only love their REAL children

also its Rayfa. it was in the safe next to Rafya’s letter; Rayfa basically identified it as herself when she saw it, it’s Rayfa.

Apollo: wow youre sure acting vague and suspicious about this; guess i’ll just accept it for what it is.

-

Dhurke: [tells apollo’s he's going to die and leave him fatherless again]

Apollo: [immediately assumes its another of Dhurke’s jokes because Dhurke’s jokes are horrible and always at Apollo’s expense]

-

phoenix: ...are you sick?

NICK

OH MY GOD 

i shriek laughed 

-

Apollo: [clearly emotionally distraught] 

Dhurke: [continues to dance around the issue, thus prolonging Apollo’s suffering]

-

(Why is this happening now? Just when I was finally starting to feel like you really are my...)

HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU, APOLLO

GET OUTTA THERE

-

So far Apollo hasn't said “i’m gonna do x and x and x, or die trying!” and honestly i know it’s a bit on the nose but it’s more true for this situation than any other ones it’s usually said in.

-

Dhurke: I’ve got a big secret

Apollo: You’ve been hiding something *ELSE* from me?

Dhurke: I’m afraid I can’t tell you what it is. I’d be betraying a certain someone if I did.

WHY DID HE EVEN BRING IT UP THEN!? WHY IS DHURKE JUST THE FUCKING WORST?!!!

-

“You’ll discover a truth that is hard to accept. But I know you. And I know you can handle the truth, no matter what it turns out to be.”

After all, you’re super great at accepting all the misfortune my existence has heaped upon you! Hahaha!!!

-

“Apollo... Are you okay?”

“...I’m fine.”

they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you’re fine, when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it b

-

h e r e   c o m e   t h e   r e b e l s

-

and once again you have to manually move there. 

-

action bomb over here from Vore Machine 

also beh’leeb sweety youre doing amazing

-

“Dhurke belongs to the people!! Give him back!!!”

he what now

-

(sigh)

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................hi.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................sadmad...............................................................................................................................................................................

-

“They’ll be arrested? Just for protesting?!”

Apollo... you live in the real world, r–– oh well technically he doesn't hm

that point’s moot

-

“They are aiding and abetting a criminal by seeking his release”

uh pretty sure that’s BS yut

-

“Her Eminence, Queen Ga’ran, has ordered they be arrested and judged en-masse”

ok im fucking 

im 

I'm wheezing so bad not ONLY do we have to save a revolution and Dhurke the rebel leader, but we are now about to defend most of the population of an entire country at once. Stakes RAISED bro

-

good fucking lord apollo stop being all “weren’t you a defiant dragon once?!wehh!!”

even Phoenix, with his Edgeworth obsession, didn’t really question it when Edgeworth was being his shithead prosecutor self.

-

Nahyuta: Sigh. Guess I can’t escape you. I mean I could use my magic beads to tie you up and then prance off but i have a plot to advance.

-

“Enough with the zen monk act, Nahyuta– Tell me how you really feel!”

Damnit, Sadmad, it’s not like we have someone who can read emotions by listening to-– oh yeah.

-

“She’s being held in secret where nobody is allowed to see her.”

second time’s the charm!

-

Apollo, simply bringing up the reason he’s doing what he’s doing won’t get him to stop. Remember the Phoenix and Maya situation? Until you can guarantee her safety, Sadmad’s just going to keep steam rolling along.

-

OH FINALLY 

ok athena dish the dirt

- 

alright, here we go, folks. time for Nick to get all their asses killed. i mean just listen to that ominous music :/

-

i love her laugh sprite. 

“a lawyer AND  a comedian, HOW DROLL”

the royal guards weird me out a bit though. its those masks. I'm getting high lady gaga gives 

lady gagaran

-

Apollo: better give her evidence to burn–– i mean, jog her memory with some evidence.

Ghost of hobo nick: future me!! stop this!! don’t you remember what always used to happen?!

SOJ Phoenix: DOOOHOOOHOOO WE GOT HER NOW, APOLLO! 

-

...........that worked

....no it didn’t. just spring you damn trap already, gagaran.

-

Apollo: Hm better not tell the people, that could stir up the revolution and actually make it happen. Especially since there might be REAL terrorists hiding out there, just waiting until someone goes, “Hey, that dead queen isn’t really dead!!”

-

lol

something went wrong?? no way

-

“Eeeek! Apollo! Don’t strip here!!!”

why is athena such a ditz in this case???

-

I HEARD A BELT 

-

wow. apollo’s ass canonically bared in AA6

klavier gavin cries a million miles away

-

“HE WASN’T HIDING THE BULKY ASS ORB IN HIS CLOTHING, YOUR EMINENCE”

“damn i really thought he was hiding it in his skintight pants and vest. also ignore the other two, they couldn’t possibly have it.”

-

oh lord pls don’t hurt rayfa

-

“Your mind has been poisoned by the barbed one.”

“It was an honour and pleasure, your eminence”

phoenix i know that was highly badass and all but youre literally sitting pretty to be executed 

-

“”””discipline””””

-

“Well, Apollo, let’s head back to the safe house for now.” 

yes, just in case any spies follow us! so that the queen can get her hands on the orb that much fast!!

-

oh hi edgeworht, youre in this game

-

WOO YOU TELL’EM EDGEY

DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!!

-

“Moving along to things that actually matter...”

it’s true, but he shouldn’t say it

-

“Yeah, it’s like the more we learn about this case, the less we understand.”

just like me and this game’s writing process

-

“A trial without evidence...”

there’s evidence, you wankers, what do you think that photo of amara, the old case files and the necklace are????

-

“Athena, you’re too young and extra to die. Sit this trial out so we can save on sprite space.”

“Gotcha, chief.”

-

“Plus, there’s prosecutor Blackquill to think of. he said he’d use me for sword practice if he put you in harms way.”

Yeah, if Athena dies, who’ll his new punching bag be??? don’t think i haven’t forgotten story teller. i will not forget. i will not forgive.

-

“Remember; the worst of times are when lawyers have to force their biggest smiles.”

ugh, finally it’s used semi right. 

-

And so, we come to the end of another frustrating chapter. It’s finally time to move on to the final trial. I’m actually kind of curious to find out how everything went down– though something tells me my suffering won’t end when i do. 

Welp, friends –  till next time. The final hurdle is at hand. Or at least, part one of it.

[jaerie]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

unofficially tagged by @allwaswell16​ 

1. List of works published this year: In the order that they were posted

my sins i’ll claim, i’m not immune to shame

fur up in flaimes

pink skin

i’m kinda into it

i’m gonna pay for this

1st of the month

let’s try that again

but she doesn’t know who i am

all over me

maybe i’ll try falling up

out of the wild

hoping to find the respect i deserve

cute for a girl?

christmas is cancelled

closest it’ll get

anon work no i’m still not telling what it is haha

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Maybe “but she doesn’t know who i am” because of the imagery of it.  When I first started writing seriously in high school my absolute favourite thing to do was write short descriptive passages and I’ve found it to be a strength of mine.  I still tend to look at things I’ve written with more of that as my favourites. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

That’s a difficult thing to answer since I tend to be very hard on myself, especially after things are posted.  A lot of my 1000 Reasons short fics I’ve wanted to go back and rework just because after the fact I wasn’t always happy with the full result even though I liked the fic as a whole.  

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

The way the yellow hued street lights illuminate the bricked exterior of buildings and the pavement in the dark of night looks the same no matter where you are in the world.  That’s what Louis was convinced of anyway.  Standing behind this bar after his shift, leaning against the textured wall near the dumpsters and smoking a cigarette, it could just as easily have been back home.  It looked the same.  It even felt the same.  The alleyway had the same deep jagged cracks running down the center, water pooling in the uneven sections of concrete from the light showers earlier in the evening, the slight stench of piss hanging in the air if the breeze kicks it up just right, the sour smell of garbage wafting up and spilling out of the dumpsters.  It was all part of the same scene, just a different location and Louis flawlessly transplanted right into it.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Okay so I had so many I could put.  But I’m going to put this one because not only did I laugh but I feel like it sums up a lot of things I try to write hahaha

“You navigated the possibly awkward waters of this prompt perfectly.”

and also  “I secretly hoped they would do it in their wolf forms too hehe” because they definitely totally were untill I bailed on posting that scene at the last minute hahahahahahaha

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Starting in August I spent over 50 hours in my car on various trips not counting the business trip to dallas... I was only home a day or two inbetween everything on top of work.  It was a really stressful and exhausting few months and very difficult to find the time but more importantly the motivation to write anything.  

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m not sure that anything really surprised me this year.  I usually just let the characters go for it so I’ve been surprised many times but this year I think they did what I expected them too.  There were quite a few things that got unexpectantly dirty if that counts.  

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Many ways, I think. Taking my time which helped many aspects.  Usually I’d have an idea and push to get it out there so I’d either have very short works that could have been a lot more elaborate or a lot of unfinished WIP because I’d pushed to publish but then later in the plot wanted to go back and rework things but couldn’t.  It has been increasingly easier for me to get higher word counts on things as well.  But all of it really because of taking my time, making myself stew on ideas for days or weeks and a little  more planning than I’ve ever done before.  

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I have two really big fics coming up next year that I plan to take my time editing and getting feedback on.  I have a hard time with having things beta’d because my immediate reaction is usually always to say fuck it and delete everything, negate the whole work when something wrong with it is pointed out.  Its a reaction that still comes at me from school when you had to “peer edit” and other kids would just tear down your work because they thought they had to find something wrong with it coupled with the kind of comments people used to write with the LJ community.  Neither of them healthy opinions to rely on.  So I plan on getting past that mentality

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

My group chat has been great! I’ve always been a lone wolf writer in this fandom so could never bounce ideas off anyone or listen to other’s struggles etc etc.  Its been a very nice change :) 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

A lot more than I’d eeeever be willing to admit to.  But mainly I’d say my “genderfluid harry” stories.  I’ve received a lot of rudely worded comments, long ass paragraph comments etc pointing out how I’ve mislabeled, mischaracterized, misrepresented, etc etc etc which have made me really uncomfortable about having posting them since Harry’s character is based on a real person who identifies themself as those things and all of that was taken into consideration when tagging and writing everything.  So that was the biggest thing from real life I’d say. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself and not what you think people want or how readers try to direct you to take it.  

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

My Alex/Louis fic 100%.  I wrote it for nano and am very proud of it so far.  I’m looking forward to making it even better before it gets posted early next year.  And my other big project that I can’t talk about yet for the ABO exchange also coming up at the beginning of the year. 

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

I’m unofficially tagging any writer who reads this so I can see what their answers are hehe!